WEBVTT

1
00:00:05.440 --> 00:00:16.040
I got in late today so I'm here yay okay so I am excited to see all y'all

2
00:00:16.040 --> 00:00:20.200
tonight let us just pray oh we got a full house father god I thank you for

3
00:00:20.200 --> 00:00:24.240
each and every one of these amazing ladies I thank you for this opportunity

4
00:00:24.240 --> 00:00:29.120
that we have to come together and to get solutions from heaven for our journey

5
00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:34.460
that you we are partnering with you on we are not alone I speak to every heart

6
00:00:34.460 --> 00:00:39.560
in this zoom on tonight I speak faith to your heart where you've become weary I

7
00:00:40.140 --> 00:00:45.180
speak hope to every place of doubt and frustration and I declare that this

8
00:00:45.180 --> 00:00:50.600
journey is one that Jesus is definitely with you on you are not alone I don't

9
00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.820
care how long you feel I don't care how many likes you don't get back how many

10
00:00:54.820 --> 00:00:59.900
you send out how many don't stop for you it only takes one and I'm so glad

11
00:00:59.900 --> 00:01:05.500
that we already have the one that is gonna lead us to the one because we do

12
00:01:05.500 --> 00:01:10.060
not have the tools or the equipment to pick out what's best for our lives so we

13
00:01:10.060 --> 00:01:18.780
love you Jesus and we thank you amen all right so just a couple reminders it's

14
00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:24.760
kind of warm if this is your first time with us um be sure to watch the videos

15
00:01:24.760 --> 00:01:28.620
all of the teachings they're so good if this is your first time with us at 8

16
00:01:28.620 --> 00:01:35.420
o'clock coaching call wave your hand yeah hey Katie we're happy to have you

17
00:01:37.380 --> 00:01:45.920
Oh Elizabeth I see okay Karen Emily it's so good to have y'all um we're excited

18
00:01:45.920 --> 00:01:50.880
making sure I got everybody here um this is your time I just want to tell

19
00:01:50.880 --> 00:01:55.640
you this um you don't have to be dating use a little one o'clock with Carla oh

20
00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:59.600
she's a treat you don't have to be dating this is all about you so we know

21
00:01:59.600 --> 00:02:02.960
that you've just come out of hard work and there are a lot of things that the

22
00:02:02.960 --> 00:02:06.640
Lord is refining in your life a lot of practice you get to have in everyday

23
00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:11.560
life and so you want to show you want to come you want this to be your space even

24
00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:15.800
on the community wall right down what you're struggling with nobody is far

25
00:02:15.800 --> 00:02:20.040
removed if they're not in this space far removed from those experiences

26
00:02:20.480 --> 00:02:25.300
there's not an experience that anybody has posted that I cannot relate to

27
00:02:25.680 --> 00:02:29.700
because us as women we're just not that far apart from each other in the way we

28
00:02:29.700 --> 00:02:33.120
think I was just reminiscing and I was gonna tell y'all this I was just

29
00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:37.400
reminiscing the other day when I was talking to this guy that I met through a

30
00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:42.000
dating app and I did not like him and I was afraid to tell him I didn't want to

31
00:02:42.160 --> 00:02:51.740
anymore so I would talk to him every day dreading how he looked I don't want to

32
00:02:51.740 --> 00:02:56.380
talk to you anymore like I believe the lie that I don't want to hurt him I

33
00:02:56.380 --> 00:03:00.020
don't want him to think this about me I don't want to think here you know it's

34
00:03:00.020 --> 00:03:03.020
like all these well I don't want him to think that and I don't want him to think

35
00:03:03.020 --> 00:03:10.120
this and I was just like oh my goodness that was me you know it takes the Lord

36
00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:15.760
to take us back down memory lane you know and so that's how I you know I say

37
00:03:15.760 --> 00:03:19.700
that we once we go through the program and through the process and still live

38
00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:25.520
day living out of hard work and growing that is just the truth we've been there

39
00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:30.340
done it you know been there had that experience we know how it feels and trust

40
00:03:30.340 --> 00:03:36.020
me I and this this guy was on the video just vaping vaping away and I'm like I

41
00:03:36.020 --> 00:03:47.340
do and he was ugly I was like it wouldn't come out so cuz I was believing

42
00:03:47.340 --> 00:03:52.540
so many lies about you know I wouldn't want him I do this to me I want about

43
00:03:52.540 --> 00:03:56.840
it it's like all of these things misappropriated perceptions putting

44
00:03:56.840 --> 00:04:02.000
things in the wrong space but anyway so this is your space to be you I'm in it to

45
00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:06.180
encourage your other sisters and to enjoy and so anytime somebody's saying

46
00:04:06.180 --> 00:04:09.840
something you want to encourage them in the chat go for continue to post on the

47
00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:13.480
community wall because we want to process with you it's a lot of us here

48
00:04:13.480 --> 00:04:16.079
at eight o'clock and so sometimes we don't get a chance to get to do

49
00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:19.620
everything fully but once you guys to start posting so we can really start

50
00:04:19.620 --> 00:04:23.320
piecing through some things but some things are just hard to do through

51
00:04:24.660 --> 00:04:30.040
typing oh my facial expression gets lost my heart you can't hear it through words

52
00:04:30.040 --> 00:04:33.860
so it could opportunity for offense you have to really know a person hard to

53
00:04:33.860 --> 00:04:37.600
know like oh she's just joking oh no no surely she didn't mean it that way right

54
00:04:37.860 --> 00:04:42.900
but anyway watch her videos they're so good it's such good teaching and show up

55
00:04:43.200 --> 00:04:47.260
and even when you think you got the one on the hook you're gonna feel tempted to

56
00:04:47.260 --> 00:04:52.840
be like okay I got this stay connected I know how to tempt you're gonna be

57
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.320
Like I thought there's nothing like a woman when she thinks she got a man, baby

58
00:05:04.960 --> 00:05:06.960
Way, you can't tell her nothing

59
00:05:07.660 --> 00:05:09.360
Everything go out the window

60
00:05:10.380 --> 00:05:16.740
Especially when they say they know they know it's God it's over then and don't let them have some type of confirmation

61
00:05:16.860 --> 00:05:22.980
Three or four not three confirmations is over and if three one for the father son and the Holy Spirit

62
00:05:22.980 --> 00:05:25.180
And then you can tell her that's it

63
00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:26.120
so

64
00:05:32.040 --> 00:05:33.080
So listen

65
00:05:33.560 --> 00:05:38.100
Listen stay connected. We want to help you process all the way through

66
00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:41.540
I have been in great relationships up to six months and seven months

67
00:05:41.540 --> 00:05:46.300
They were one of the wonderful men of God that I've had to part ways with

68
00:05:46.820 --> 00:05:53.460
Not because they did something to me or but you realize after you get past the third month the fourth month things slow down

69
00:05:53.460 --> 00:05:58.200
And you see people in that a wedding you see people like you start to see things

70
00:05:58.200 --> 00:06:03.760
It's like I'll do they really carry like the last relationship. He didn't carry what I need what was needed to champion me

71
00:06:04.540 --> 00:06:09.260
He didn't carry what was needed to sharpen the ebony that is kingdom

72
00:06:09.260 --> 00:06:12.900
Like there are things the parts of me that have to be aligned correctly

73
00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:15.420
This is what I'm about to he speak in tongues of prophesy

74
00:06:15.580 --> 00:06:19.840
He wasn't equipped to carry his level masculinity needed to grow some more

75
00:06:19.840 --> 00:06:26.680
He had a level masculinity, but it wasn't to the level of ebony that I needed for me. And so

76
00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:34.980
You know, it's just like you learn things and it's things and it hurts but you know, so stay connected

77
00:06:35.080 --> 00:06:37.760
I'm gonna give you a lot of time. All of it is ours

78
00:06:37.760 --> 00:06:41.920
But you know, I want to say that to you and we're here for you. We want to see you do well

79
00:06:43.540 --> 00:06:47.140
That being said if you are a new member guys, please remember I see you man

80
00:06:47.140 --> 00:06:51.640
I please remember you guys that we don't post anything from outside sources

81
00:06:51.820 --> 00:06:55.480
And if you do will will delete it, but it's not offensively

82
00:06:56.080 --> 00:07:02.140
We delete it because it needs to be vetted out before it's put in the community because someone can become offended

83
00:07:02.140 --> 00:07:03.140
It can hurt their feelings

84
00:07:03.140 --> 00:07:09.880
It could give someone the wrong ideas and they think because it is posted in the community that it must come from the community

85
00:07:10.460 --> 00:07:11.680
Well, that's not true

86
00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:13.560
And so you want to get it approved by the admin?

87
00:07:13.780 --> 00:07:18.780
Bethany send it through Bethany or send an email and ask them to approve it before we post it

88
00:07:18.780 --> 00:07:23.240
So I want to give you an example. Maybe your pastor preaching a message

89
00:07:23.760 --> 00:07:25.540
Maybe somebody else

90
00:07:25.540 --> 00:07:31.560
Preaching a message or some post that you saw was really good and you wanted to share it

91
00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:37.280
If it's not one of Jackie's posts, I will just encourage you to send it through admin and let them check it out first

92
00:07:38.260 --> 00:07:41.040
So many things could happen in the process

93
00:07:41.300 --> 00:07:47.860
You know and it could just backfire a lot more than your processing you think oh, it's just gonna help

94
00:07:47.860 --> 00:07:52.280
This is so encouraging but so much stuff could get twisted all around

95
00:07:52.280 --> 00:07:54.380
So it's just best to

96
00:07:54.380 --> 00:07:56.860
Do it this way. Um

97
00:07:57.200 --> 00:07:58.240
and so

98
00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:00.040
Any other thoughts about that?

99
00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:04.600
Yeah, I don't know what order y'all put y'all hands up. They went up so fast

100
00:08:04.600 --> 00:08:08.160
I didn't expect it after Manda went in y'all like oh, no

101
00:08:12.420 --> 00:08:15.760
But anyway, okay, let's go go for Mandy I

102
00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:18.680
I

103
00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:20.340
Had to be so quick on the draw I

104
00:08:21.400 --> 00:08:27.840
Hate to be like that on these but I really needed to speak to you this week. Yeah, it literally started on Wednesday

105
00:08:28.620 --> 00:08:33.740
So I'll make it really really short. Okay met this guy on Facebook dating and

106
00:08:34.520 --> 00:08:40.000
He just like answered all the questions. I didn't have to ask him about his character all the things, right?

107
00:08:40.059 --> 00:08:42.320
So I'm like, okay sounds like a decent man

108
00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:48.840
Anyway asked if we could switch numbers or exchange and I'm like, yeah if you get you know, I'm thinking if you get weird

109
00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:50.980
I'll just block you. It's fine. So

110
00:08:51.820 --> 00:08:58.280
Anyway, we hop on the phone. Um, literally, okay. There's a plot to us. I don't get excited ladies, but

111
00:08:59.280 --> 00:09:04.580
The best conversation I've ever had as a born-again believer with a man

112
00:09:04.680 --> 00:09:08.580
Like I felt like I was being read like spiritually

113
00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:15.440
Like he like got scripture out like it was the best to I went over two hours

114
00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:20.580
Which I know we're not supposed to do but I am so glad that it happened and I'm literally in my head

115
00:09:20.580 --> 00:09:22.420
This has gotten me so messed up

116
00:09:22.420 --> 00:09:27.620
like I know you're gonna understand because I remember you sharing a story that you dated somebody or

117
00:09:28.380 --> 00:09:31.640
We're gonna marry somebody something. Anyway, I'll get to that part. Sorry

118
00:09:31.680 --> 00:09:37.020
Anyway talking on this on the phone even like medically like I'm more of a natural person

119
00:09:37.020 --> 00:09:44.860
He like believed in all that everything was aligning to the point where I'm thinking God in my head he hopped off the phone or

120
00:09:45.020 --> 00:09:50.400
went to a different call just for a second because the Sun was calling him and they hop back over and I'm just praying in

121
00:09:50.400 --> 00:09:54.760
The spirit while he's on the other line. I'm like God show me if this man is that for me?

122
00:09:54.760 --> 00:09:57.680
Cuz I'm getting so excited. I've not been excited before

123
00:09:58.640 --> 00:09:59.980
So at the end of this conversation

124
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.460
This woman hops on the phone and says, hang up the phone, hang up the phone.

125
00:10:04.640 --> 00:10:05.360
This is his wife.

126
00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:11.220
And the phone hangs up and I'm like sitting there shocked.

127
00:10:11.420 --> 00:10:14.720
Like what the heck just happened?

128
00:10:15.720 --> 00:10:21.600
And I would never in a million years cross the lines with the married man.

129
00:10:22.860 --> 00:10:24.800
And I'm just like, I don't know.

130
00:10:24.860 --> 00:10:25.820
I'm literally shocked.

131
00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:28.100
I'm like, do I not have discernment?

132
00:10:28.100 --> 00:10:32.120
Do I not have, like, do I not even understand how the, could I not

133
00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:34.120
even see the fruits lacking?

134
00:10:34.280 --> 00:10:38.200
Like, I don't even understand how you can lie the way this man lied.

135
00:10:38.780 --> 00:10:47.220
So I get a text the next morning after I go to bed and this, his wife texts me

136
00:10:47.240 --> 00:10:49.820
and was like, we have an 11 month old son.

137
00:10:49.920 --> 00:10:56.860
He has 14 children and we've been married for two years and he's been

138
00:10:56.860 --> 00:11:00.800
talking to other women and asked me if like we slept together and I'm like,

139
00:11:00.800 --> 00:11:02.220
no, I just had one conversation.

140
00:11:02.340 --> 00:11:04.020
Like it was our first phone talk.

141
00:11:04.560 --> 00:11:09.620
Like I like voice clipped her and I was like, I know this is weird, but I've

142
00:11:09.620 --> 00:11:14.460
been in your situation before with my children's father, like if God just

143
00:11:14.460 --> 00:11:17.580
put us together so I can pray with you, like I'm willing to do that.

144
00:11:17.580 --> 00:11:19.600
Like I've, the number, his number is blocked.

145
00:11:19.800 --> 00:11:21.980
Like, it was just so weird.

146
00:11:21.980 --> 00:11:27.140
Well, that brought up, like, I'm about to cry because it brought up a lot of like.

147
00:11:29.420 --> 00:11:30.620
Just insecurities.

148
00:11:31.260 --> 00:11:35.720
It brought up emotions that I thought I healed from this guy that I have

149
00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:37.600
been talking to, who's a decent guy.

150
00:11:38.160 --> 00:11:42.740
We've been like consistently talking for over a month and I'm like questioning

151
00:11:42.740 --> 00:11:46.960
him and like everything, and I just feel like I can't trust anybody.

152
00:11:47.420 --> 00:11:50.180
And yeah, it just really sucked.

153
00:11:50.180 --> 00:11:54.820
So I deleted Facebook dating because I literally just cannot

154
00:11:54.820 --> 00:11:57.460
handle any more crazy situations.

155
00:11:58.880 --> 00:12:02.920
So yeah, I would love like, even if you just could pray.

156
00:12:04.980 --> 00:12:05.280
Yeah.

157
00:12:05.720 --> 00:12:12.580
Um, yeah, that, um, yeah, I know everybody can, um, put your heart on this.

158
00:12:12.840 --> 00:12:15.120
That was betrayal, right?

159
00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:18.020
And so you, you probably don't want to categorize it as betrayal

160
00:12:18.020 --> 00:12:19.440
because you think I didn't know him.

161
00:12:20.180 --> 00:12:20.660
Yeah.

162
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:25.660
Um, he wasn't, he never gave a lying allegiance to me or something, but

163
00:12:25.680 --> 00:12:29.520
something happened when you were talking to him and you believe that you

164
00:12:29.520 --> 00:12:31.220
were talking to a brother in Christ.

165
00:12:31.420 --> 00:12:32.720
So let's break that down.

166
00:12:32.920 --> 00:12:36.600
You believe that you were talking to a believer in Jesus.

167
00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:38.880
Well, that made a connection.

168
00:12:38.880 --> 00:12:40.420
Older women falling.

169
00:12:44.380 --> 00:12:46.460
Um, that made a connection.

170
00:12:46.460 --> 00:12:48.960
You didn't see it, but it made a connection.

171
00:12:49.580 --> 00:12:52.180
And it wasn't because you didn't make a connection.

172
00:12:52.380 --> 00:12:53.500
Cause you were so stupid.

173
00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:54.760
And how could I not catch it?

174
00:12:54.760 --> 00:12:56.340
Like all those things are just lies.

175
00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:58.660
I want you to come back to the basics of what happened.

176
00:12:59.480 --> 00:12:59.840
Yeah.

177
00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:02.460
Just like if me and you were to sit here and I was to pray and you'd

178
00:13:02.460 --> 00:13:03.600
be like, that prayer was so far.

179
00:13:03.620 --> 00:13:04.280
That was the Lord.

180
00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:05.080
He touched my heart.

181
00:13:05.120 --> 00:13:06.380
And then you heard me on the phone.

182
00:13:06.460 --> 00:13:06.700
Yeah.

183
00:13:06.700 --> 00:13:10.840
Mandy is so some, some, some, you won't be like, is that Ebony talking?

184
00:13:11.280 --> 00:13:12.200
You get what I'm saying?

185
00:13:12.200 --> 00:13:16.460
Like I switched up and will be betrayal and you will be hurt because

186
00:13:16.460 --> 00:13:17.620
you wouldn't have expected that.

187
00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:21.840
I want to take time to clear that up because sometimes we don't realize

188
00:13:21.840 --> 00:13:23.460
the levels that we connect on.

189
00:13:23.580 --> 00:13:26.680
And then you don't give yourself grace and you beat yourself up for

190
00:13:26.680 --> 00:13:27.980
something that's really not true.

191
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:30.680
Or the enemy comes in and gives you thoughts and tell you

192
00:13:30.680 --> 00:13:31.720
that you're being stupid.

193
00:13:32.940 --> 00:13:33.340
Yeah.

194
00:13:33.520 --> 00:13:33.840
Right.

195
00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:35.100
Like, why do you feel like that?

196
00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:36.360
You didn't even know me.

197
00:13:36.500 --> 00:13:37.380
What were you thinking?

198
00:13:38.220 --> 00:13:39.900
So those things, so let's clear that.

199
00:13:39.900 --> 00:13:42.160
And I'm going to pray, but I want to clear that up for you.

200
00:13:42.280 --> 00:13:45.460
And another lie I want to clear, cause I don't need it hanging around

201
00:13:45.460 --> 00:13:48.700
is when you said, do I not even hear from Holy spirit, but you

202
00:13:48.700 --> 00:13:51.140
prayed and she picked up the phone.

203
00:13:52.280 --> 00:13:52.760
Yeah.

204
00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:54.240
Yeah, you're right.

205
00:13:55.660 --> 00:14:00.340
Because I even told him like, God shuts the door on me with men so quick.

206
00:14:01.040 --> 00:14:05.820
Like, I'm just going to let you know, like, and then literally at the

207
00:14:05.820 --> 00:14:08.820
end of the phone conversation, I'm literally thinking this man is the one.

208
00:14:09.020 --> 00:14:11.160
I feel crazy to even think that.

209
00:14:11.220 --> 00:14:13.120
And I'm like, what the heck?

210
00:14:13.120 --> 00:14:18.920
Like I've been single almost eight years in January, you know, I don't know.

211
00:14:19.020 --> 00:14:19.560
It's hard.

212
00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:23.300
And so this guy that I'm talking to, I'm not that attracted to him.

213
00:14:23.340 --> 00:14:26.620
He's cute, but he's short and I have an issue with short men.

214
00:14:26.660 --> 00:14:30.180
And I'm like, literally trying to find a way out and every situation,

215
00:14:30.300 --> 00:14:31.400
but he's such a good guy.

216
00:14:31.620 --> 00:14:34.620
So, but I'm also like, what if he's married?

217
00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:41.020
What if he has 12 kids, 14 kids, you know, anyway, so yeah.

218
00:14:41.020 --> 00:14:46.820
So let's get out because that's going to help you not take what you experienced,

219
00:14:47.000 --> 00:14:53.340
take the good from what you experienced, you know, Mike, and so Holy spirit

220
00:14:53.520 --> 00:14:55.140
intervenes, just like he can do with you.

221
00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:59.980
And this other guy, this man's wife picks up the phone, which.

222
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.140
Weird all together because how is she you know, how would that even happen the Lord your God defended first?

223
00:15:06.140 --> 00:15:11.280
Yeah, that's why we're gonna stomp this fear thing. That's trying to care, but to gravitate towards you

224
00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:18.740
You got defended he defended you and Mandy you don't have to be right

225
00:15:19.880 --> 00:15:23.420
About you don't have to have eagles eyes

226
00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:27.020
You don't live in the future nor do you live in the past?

227
00:15:27.020 --> 00:15:31.820
You have a God that takes care of all those things in it and even in your best picking

228
00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:36.280
You could not pick a man that would be quick for you 10 years from now

229
00:15:36.400 --> 00:15:41.400
Even in your best picking you couldn't pick a man that's equipped for the Mandy 15 years from now

230
00:15:41.400 --> 00:15:47.180
You couldn't pick a man that knows how to come in and sharpen Mandy the way that the Lord can

231
00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:51.220
So you just not equipped to do it

232
00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:55.760
And I think that this is one of these moments where we have to surrender and say I can't do it

233
00:15:55.760 --> 00:15:58.160
Like if this didn't show you anything

234
00:15:58.160 --> 00:16:03.600
I want us to see what it really did show you and it came to produce more fruit in you

235
00:16:05.980 --> 00:16:07.300
What happened to me

236
00:16:08.040 --> 00:16:10.040
I'm right here. Can you see me?

237
00:16:13.060 --> 00:16:18.580
Let me find is it is it cuz I put my hand down. Oh, there you go. Yeah, probably so I found you

238
00:16:18.580 --> 00:16:21.640
Oh, sorry. Oh, it didn't come to

239
00:16:21.640 --> 00:16:25.560
To take away from you it came to prune you

240
00:16:27.160 --> 00:16:31.860
So that you could surrender more now, I know it didn't feel like it

241
00:16:31.860 --> 00:16:35.920
But I'm telling you there is a there is a good perspective in this thing

242
00:16:35.920 --> 00:16:38.680
And I'm gonna help you find it because the enemy is lying to you

243
00:16:39.500 --> 00:16:43.440
But anytime the the Lord King he uses everything around us

244
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:49.520
So we start cutting stuff out, but ladies the Lord uses what's around us to get to us to help us

245
00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:53.560
You know how we say it a lot of times we think oh

246
00:16:54.880 --> 00:16:57.120
Well, you want somebody to post it? They're Christian

247
00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:02.200
I'm not saying that but you know how when a man comes and say everything that you think is good

248
00:17:04.619 --> 00:17:05.060
and

249
00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:08.319
He and then when you hang up you like he loves the Lord

250
00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:13.380
He loves the Lord. We're both on the same track. How do you know he said it? Okay

251
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:19.500
But you know, I think that this is just it. I think he's the one because they see everything, right?

252
00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:20.760
and

253
00:17:23.099 --> 00:17:28.920
This just shows not like ha ha it shows that the process is

254
00:17:29.620 --> 00:17:36.680
Worthy like that's the purpose of the process to I hear what you say now. Let me get to know you and

255
00:17:36.680 --> 00:17:40.680
That our feelings can be off. Yeah

256
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:46.480
Women we usually talk about how we feel and that's how we do it we talk

257
00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:52.920
Me in our observatory, so that means when a man comes back and says the things we like

258
00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:56.960
We say okay, cuz who would say this if they didn't mean it right me in it

259
00:17:58.020 --> 00:17:58.480
right

260
00:17:59.720 --> 00:18:05.760
So you're thinking who says stuff like this like there's some people you can talk to and when they talk about the Lord

261
00:18:05.760 --> 00:18:10.700
You can tell that they have a depthness with the Lord. You can tell that they have intimacy with the Lord

262
00:18:10.700 --> 00:18:12.320
There's a certain way you can talk

263
00:18:12.320 --> 00:18:18.760
They can reveal things about if you're you know, if you're having that type of conversation with the person and it's like well

264
00:18:18.760 --> 00:18:21.500
How would they know to say all of it, right?

265
00:18:22.120 --> 00:18:25.240
Yeah, literally this is right. How do they know to do that?

266
00:18:25.240 --> 00:18:29.120
How do they know to say that and so all of it is really good and then you get this happen

267
00:18:29.120 --> 00:18:35.080
So what I'm saying is it's worth taking in what a person says and say this sounds good

268
00:18:35.100 --> 00:18:38.620
And you can still say this sounds like it may go somewhere

269
00:18:39.220 --> 00:18:41.280
Let me see where this could go

270
00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:44.000
and

271
00:18:44.020 --> 00:18:50.980
Put yourself under the subjection under the under the guidelines that you've created for your dating process

272
00:18:52.140 --> 00:18:53.540
That this sounds good

273
00:18:53.540 --> 00:18:59.060
I'm gonna submit this to the father and I'm gonna see where this could go because this might could be something in this process

274
00:18:59.060 --> 00:19:05.200
The enemy wants to come along and strip you of all that hope Mandy. Everybody's listening. He wants to strip you of hope of

275
00:19:06.200 --> 00:19:08.860
Hope that it could be good of

276
00:19:08.860 --> 00:19:12.160
Hope that it could have that magical feeling to it

277
00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:17.240
He wants to strip you of the excitement in the joy and tell you you're not gonna find a godly man

278
00:19:18.600 --> 00:19:24.000
There there's no there's no kingdom in it. Look who you're talking to now. He probably lied, too

279
00:19:25.940 --> 00:19:27.840
Because now the heart has been

280
00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:34.160
Has been wounded and you're seeing through the wound and not the way you saw before

281
00:19:34.520 --> 00:19:40.480
But you remember the whole feel person was just the hour before you got on the phone with him. Exactly

282
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:46.620
She's not far removed from you and you don't have to leave her on the other side of that phone call

283
00:19:48.260 --> 00:19:50.880
We're gonna pray and you can reunite with her Mandy

284
00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:52.240
Amen

285
00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:57.280
We're not gonna allow the journey within itself is a tiresome one

286
00:19:57.780 --> 00:19:59.980
And we're not gonna allow the enemy to get in

287
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.740
Footing in our life. And so you might get sat down for a minute, but you're gonna bounce back

288
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:08.320
What is she gonna do lay down and give up?

289
00:20:10.900 --> 00:20:10.900


290
00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:24.560
I'm so sorry that happened, but I feel like you gained so much more

291
00:20:24.560 --> 00:20:30.500
Even with this young man that you're getting to know I think that would be the time instead of saying I don't know

292
00:20:30.500 --> 00:20:36.420
Are you a mayor? I can see you becoming more suspicious. I was in a relationship with the ultimate huge betrayal

293
00:20:36.640 --> 00:20:44.440
It makes you rethink everything like was this even real was that in a real world? Was this a sick joke?

294
00:20:45.560 --> 00:20:49.540
Like who does this so you begin to question on this thing and I don't want to prolong the time with it

295
00:20:49.540 --> 00:20:54.060
But I want you to know that I understand and that was betrayal, but it was a quick betrayal

296
00:20:55.800 --> 00:20:59.200
Yeah, it really was I'm like, thank you God at least I

297
00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:03.880
just wasted two hours and 20 minutes of my time, so

298
00:21:04.660 --> 00:21:06.960
Yeah, and you gained a lot more

299
00:21:07.100 --> 00:21:09.140
Because then that young man

300
00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:13.660
I believe you gained a lot more than young man that you keep trying to get rid of that you may not like as much

301
00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:17.140
You may want to hear what the Lord has to say about

302
00:21:18.660 --> 00:21:24.540
Yeah, well I like start asking him questions and he was like, where are all these questions coming from

303
00:21:24.560 --> 00:21:30.240
Because I was so insecure about what happened and I just told him the truth because I told him I've been like

304
00:21:30.240 --> 00:21:34.980
Getting to know people like you're not the only one I'm getting to know but you I actually do like him

305
00:21:35.700 --> 00:21:39.920
And I don't like the other guys. I'm just like small talk, you know

306
00:21:40.460 --> 00:21:47.280
Anyway, and he like called me and listened to me and was just like I'm so sorry that happened

307
00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:54.420
But I can promise you I'm extremely single like super single and I definitely don't have 14 kids and like made a joke out of it

308
00:21:54.420 --> 00:21:59.720
You know and it was just it was fun. He's yeah, so I don't know. I guess it's just like I

309
00:22:00.740 --> 00:22:06.880
Just want an attractive man, and he's cute, but he's not yeah, so I feel like I'm being insecure in that area

310
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:08.860
So anyway, he's not what?

311
00:22:10.240 --> 00:22:12.380
He's he's just not super hot

312
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:19.940
What me you say he's attractive but he's not what is it that you want that he doesn't have

313
00:22:20.780 --> 00:22:29.100
You know, I think it's just the height thing. Yeah, what what does height represent for you? I

314
00:22:29.100 --> 00:22:32.560
Don't know why I feel like more safe or secure with height

315
00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:38.040
Woman, most all women feel safer and secure with height because yeah

316
00:22:38.420 --> 00:22:40.540
Right. Yeah, and I like to wear heels

317
00:22:41.940 --> 00:22:47.060
How short is he? How tall are you? I'm 5'5 and

318
00:22:48.220 --> 00:22:55.060
He's like 5 well, I don't he says he's 5'7, but you know, you got a deduct like 2 inches on these apps, so

319
00:23:02.460 --> 00:23:04.920
That's 2 inches y'all are both shrink in time

320
00:23:07.360 --> 00:23:08.400
Be short

321
00:23:08.820 --> 00:23:13.380
It I said we'll all be sure I know I'm gonna have to switch to flats or something

322
00:23:13.380 --> 00:23:16.320
At least he won't increase back about 14 kids

323
00:23:17.060 --> 00:23:18.700
You're right

324
00:23:22.300 --> 00:23:23.420
Well, I

325
00:23:23.420 --> 00:23:25.660
Say Mandy, I want you to

326
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:29.020
Submit that relationship also to the Lord

327
00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:34.480
Okay. Yeah X the look, you know, the Bible says and there's something that the Lord told me

328
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:37.280
You know when Samuel went to anoint David?

329
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:44.280
Um, he said are these all your sons and then you know Samuel saying surely this is one surely

330
00:23:44.280 --> 00:23:45.300
This is the one surely

331
00:23:45.300 --> 00:23:52.420
This is the one and the Lord says you judge me and by the our appearance by either Lord judges the heart

332
00:23:52.460 --> 00:23:57.560
And my encouragement be for all of you women on the line when you meet a man

333
00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:02.040
Asked the Lord. How have you judged his heart?

334
00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:05.000
hmm, I

335
00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:10.260
Want you to remember because there's a powerful prayer to pray. How have you judged his heart?

336
00:24:11.140 --> 00:24:14.200
Yeah, because in it's in the Lord's judging of a heart

337
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:17.940
It's gonna tell you if someone is suitable for you and God says I'm just as hard good

338
00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:20.620
Have you it's his heart good for my heart

339
00:24:23.780 --> 00:24:24.640
That's convicting

340
00:24:28.580 --> 00:24:34.920
Very convicting. Yes. Yeah. Look I do is for a long time

341
00:24:36.260 --> 00:24:38.800
And it really is for better or for worse

342
00:24:43.120 --> 00:24:43.920
Yeah, I

343
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:49.380
Just feel sad for that woman that married him and know he had 14 children. I know I was like, what's wrong with you?

344
00:24:53.020 --> 00:24:59.980
For me to pray for you, I know we're gonna go ahead and pray for you Mandy father. Thank you for Mandy

345
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.960
I thank you for every experience that you've come to give her on this journey, and I think you have a moment of this journey

346
00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:11.060
She'll be wasted, but you will use every single

347
00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:18.920
Opportunity every experience every man that comes her way to sharpen her to prepare her for what you have for

348
00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:24.680
Prepare for her. I will exit you increase and enlarge her capacity every woman on this line

349
00:25:24.680 --> 00:25:29.800
I thank you Lord that you're coming into every broken place and you're giving us opportunity to be

350
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.740
Combined in those areas so that when they come up and when we say out and when we say that hurts

351
00:25:34.740 --> 00:25:38.600
We won't quickly go back and to to Egypt

352
00:25:38.600 --> 00:25:45.640
But we'll remember that we're walking in the promised land that we're in the place that we've done the work and now you're coming

353
00:25:46.140 --> 00:25:50.000
To to make us completely hold through the experiences that we have

354
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:56.640
So I just I just release us from that mindset that every time something hurts us. We believe should I go back?

355
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:58.880
No, you're right where you need to be

356
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:02.260
So this time when it comes to to take a stab at you

357
00:26:02.320 --> 00:26:06.340
You'll know how to deal with it because you are a new creation in Christ

358
00:26:06.340 --> 00:26:12.820
She's been all things truly have passed away and all things have become new and so I just speak grace over each and every one

359
00:26:12.820 --> 00:26:17.800
of you to walk in the new place that you're in to know that the old things that you used to do in the

360
00:26:17.800 --> 00:26:20.860
Old way that you used to do it doesn't work in this new land

361
00:26:20.860 --> 00:26:25.320
And so take your new tools and run with them with great speed

362
00:26:25.320 --> 00:26:28.140
I just declare acceleration over your life

363
00:26:28.300 --> 00:26:29.980
acceleration over your mind

364
00:26:30.100 --> 00:26:32.000
acceleration over your thoughts

365
00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:34.500
Acceleration of the way that you hear the Lord

366
00:26:34.500 --> 00:26:40.840
I speak acceleration over your feet that as you walk into new land that you will take the

367
00:26:40.840 --> 00:26:47.820
Territory that belongs to you and refuse to leave anything on the table because this time will not come back

368
00:26:47.820 --> 00:26:49.260
You won't get it again

369
00:26:49.260 --> 00:26:56.180
All things have passed away and all things become new and so I release you to enjoy the land that you're in now

370
00:26:57.060 --> 00:26:58.780
in Jesus name

371
00:26:59.120 --> 00:26:59.720
Amen

372
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:07.000
Thank you so much, you're welcome, you're welcome

373
00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:09.540
You know, yeah, I just I just only last part of prayer

374
00:27:09.540 --> 00:27:10.500
I really you know

375
00:27:10.500 --> 00:27:14.820
I really felt the Holy Spirit hands so heavy on it because you're going into

376
00:27:14.820 --> 00:27:21.540
Maryland and you don't get this land and a lot of times we want to skip over the land that we're in

377
00:27:21.540 --> 00:27:24.340
To get to a land that we don't know nothing about

378
00:27:24.380 --> 00:27:30.660
You ain't equipped for the Lord is not done with you and you won't just skip past something. It's a ha

379
00:27:32.320 --> 00:27:33.760
Give it to me

380
00:27:34.560 --> 00:27:42.840
He's like I have fullness of joy in my right hand. There are pleasures evermore right where you are

381
00:27:43.560 --> 00:27:50.200
You got your eyes on the prize, but I've already won the prize I've already got that for you. I

382
00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:56.800
Love you so much that I'm invested in every part of your life and there is goodness right here for you

383
00:27:57.520 --> 00:28:01.060
So much goodness so much overflow

384
00:28:01.500 --> 00:28:04.860
Don't despise the day of small beginnings

385
00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:09.480
So praise Jesus

386
00:28:10.780 --> 00:28:15.960
Yes, praise Jesus, all right candy

387
00:28:25.700 --> 00:28:31.100
Candy girl, you are my world. Will you get candy?

388
00:28:32.920 --> 00:28:34.820
Yeah, okay, yeah, hi, yeah

389
00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:37.480
I don't know how to unmute myself

390
00:28:38.080 --> 00:28:40.600
I was enjoying you. I was enjoying your

391
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:50.060
Okay, so, um, all right, so I met this guy at the whole hot holy and he lives like five hours away

392
00:28:50.060 --> 00:28:52.880
He lived in Pittsburgh and I live in New Jersey. So

393
00:28:53.880 --> 00:28:54.740
So, you know

394
00:28:54.740 --> 00:28:56.920
we have been texting each other for a week and

395
00:28:57.540 --> 00:29:02.520
I was the one who initiated like asking for a phone call and we did have a phone call and they made

396
00:29:03.280 --> 00:29:07.040
And I kind of asking about how flexible are you about the location?

397
00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:13.660
And he said, you know, he's flexible and all that, but I just I did not I guess I did not

398
00:29:14.500 --> 00:29:17.960
Ask the question clear enough for him to give me a clear answer

399
00:29:18.040 --> 00:29:24.140
so I want to address that again later on, you know, when we have a call again or whatever, but

400
00:29:25.660 --> 00:29:32.400
And I can feel you know when he wrote to me I think that he's he's

401
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:34.600
he's merry-minded and

402
00:29:34.600 --> 00:29:35.100
also

403
00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:37.360
And also

404
00:29:38.320 --> 00:29:42.660
masculine, but one thing about the maturity, that's one thing that really

405
00:29:43.080 --> 00:29:47.700
bothers me is he one of the taxi asked me is that he said

406
00:29:49.500 --> 00:29:54.260
He's like I want to take a picture of me sitting on the bed and I'm not sure whether you want me to do that

407
00:29:55.040 --> 00:29:59.980
I'm like, you know what he said. He wants to take a picture of him sitting on the bed

408
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.880
and I'm not sure whether you want that.

409
00:30:03.800 --> 00:30:06.260
And I just, I don't know how to answer him.

410
00:30:06.300 --> 00:30:07.220
I just ignore him.

411
00:30:07.280 --> 00:30:08.960
I just move on to the next subject.

412
00:30:09.160 --> 00:30:12.080
You know, I was like, what kind of question is that?

413
00:30:12.400 --> 00:30:13.420
So, right.

414
00:30:13.420 --> 00:30:15.580
So, and then later on the next day,

415
00:30:15.580 --> 00:30:17.580
he asked me a very odd question.

416
00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:21.020
He said, do you like someone who has beer or no beer

417
00:30:21.560 --> 00:30:22.860
or doesn't matter?

418
00:30:23.580 --> 00:30:25.620
And then the next question is,

419
00:30:25.620 --> 00:30:30.780
do you like boxer briefs or boxer briefs?

420
00:30:31.860 --> 00:30:33.260
I was like, what?

421
00:30:33.740 --> 00:30:35.720
You know, what kind of question is that?

422
00:30:36.140 --> 00:30:38.820
So that, you know, that connect to, you know,

423
00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:40.860
that connect to the love language

424
00:30:40.860 --> 00:30:42.720
that we are talking about, the love language.

425
00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:46.740
He put on his love language as a physical touch, you know?

426
00:30:47.660 --> 00:30:50.660
So, and yeah, for me, I put the love language

427
00:30:50.660 --> 00:30:52.600
as a fourth item, fourth item.

428
00:30:52.700 --> 00:30:54.560
So I put on quality time.

429
00:30:55.160 --> 00:30:57.260
So, so I don't know.

430
00:30:57.360 --> 00:31:00.060
I don't know how to answer him those questions.

431
00:31:00.760 --> 00:31:02.520
So instead of answering him, I said,

432
00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:06.240
how about we jump to a, how about we have a video call?

433
00:31:06.380 --> 00:31:08.780
Cause I do want to get to know you more.

434
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:13.040
And then we, so I said tomorrow or the next day I'm free.

435
00:31:13.040 --> 00:31:15.860
So let's have a video call and I can tell you my preference.

436
00:31:16.780 --> 00:31:17.260
Yeah.

437
00:31:17.260 --> 00:31:19.620
So I don't know whether I handled it correctly

438
00:31:19.780 --> 00:31:20.960
or I don't know.

439
00:31:21.120 --> 00:31:23.440
I mean, he's, he's actually eight years younger than me

440
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:28.400
and he said he's, you know, he said that age

441
00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:30.420
is only a number and I'm okay with that.

442
00:31:30.760 --> 00:31:31.200
Yeah.

443
00:31:31.380 --> 00:31:32.600
So I don't know.

444
00:31:34.100 --> 00:31:36.580
Well, King Andy, I'm going to tell you,

445
00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:38.380
I feel a little leery about him.

446
00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:41.180
I can only tell you from me if a man asks me,

447
00:31:41.340 --> 00:31:43.140
hey, you want to picture me on the bed?

448
00:31:44.320 --> 00:31:47.400
Already, it sounds to me like he's trying to draw you in.

449
00:31:47.500 --> 00:31:49.500
So depending on how you would have answered him back,

450
00:31:49.620 --> 00:31:50.760
maybe you would have said,

451
00:31:50.780 --> 00:31:52.360
oh, like what you mean on the bed?

452
00:31:52.360 --> 00:31:53.980
I think he would have liked you to say that,

453
00:31:54.120 --> 00:31:56.120
but you're like, okay, let me just ignore that.

454
00:31:56.420 --> 00:31:59.040
Well, when he asked you if you like boxes or briefs,

455
00:31:59.040 --> 00:32:04.360
so that's a very, you know, like why?

456
00:32:05.900 --> 00:32:06.360
Right.

457
00:32:06.620 --> 00:32:10.220
Why does he want to know if you like boxes or briefs?

458
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:10.720
Exactly.

459
00:32:10.980 --> 00:32:12.520
Like you don't know him.

460
00:32:12.560 --> 00:32:13.080
He don't know.

461
00:32:13.400 --> 00:32:13.540
Yeah, exactly.

462
00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:17.200
Even if you knew him, I dated somebody

463
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:19.680
and he never asked him if they like boxes or briefs,

464
00:32:19.700 --> 00:32:20.720
six months, a year.

465
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:23.440
And I never said to you like boxes or briefs.

466
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:25.660
And so it was those questions sound like

467
00:32:25.660 --> 00:32:28.080
he was baiting you in with certain questions

468
00:32:28.080 --> 00:32:30.820
so he could get to what he really wanted to talk about.

469
00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:35.000
And so for me, that's very concerning.

470
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:37.200
And he didn't do it just one time.

471
00:32:37.280 --> 00:32:39.520
He did it two times.

472
00:32:40.320 --> 00:32:44.180
I mean, those were like clear sexual innuendos to me.

473
00:32:44.180 --> 00:32:46.060
And then the other question that he asked,

474
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:48.620
I felt like it was a leading question as well.

475
00:32:48.620 --> 00:32:52.040
I can't remember what was the next one you said, but.

476
00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:55.560
He said, do you like people who have beard or no beard?

477
00:32:55.780 --> 00:32:56.400
Or it doesn't matter?

478
00:32:56.820 --> 00:32:57.120
Yeah.

479
00:32:57.120 --> 00:32:57.920
So when he said,

480
00:32:58.080 --> 00:33:00.120
do you like people who have beard or no beard?

481
00:33:00.460 --> 00:33:05.020
Now, if I was to step into that world in my mind,

482
00:33:05.540 --> 00:33:06.560
yeah, he is throwing bait.

483
00:33:07.040 --> 00:33:10.680
I think based on how you, if I'm in his sexual mind,

484
00:33:14.220 --> 00:33:15.080
beard or no beard,

485
00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:17.820
he didn't just ask you about how you like a man to look.

486
00:33:18.620 --> 00:33:20.600
Beard is gonna feel a certain way

487
00:33:20.600 --> 00:33:23.480
depending on what you're doing in a sexual act.

488
00:33:23.620 --> 00:33:27.360
And this is my, I'm looking at Mandy's face

489
00:33:27.360 --> 00:33:28.740
and I'm like, I'm scared to say it.

490
00:33:28.980 --> 00:33:30.860
Mandy look at me like, what are you about to say,

491
00:33:31.040 --> 00:33:32.440
and I'm just saying like,

492
00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:34.440
all of his questions were so sexual.

493
00:33:34.660 --> 00:33:37.020
And so when you say it, he said beard or no beard,

494
00:33:37.080 --> 00:33:38.240
I'm like, I don't know.

495
00:33:40.940 --> 00:33:43.680
So I'm a little surprised that he asked him that question,

496
00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:45.480
when he actually pray,

497
00:33:45.660 --> 00:33:47.820
he actually write the prayer on the text,

498
00:33:48.580 --> 00:33:50.720
which I'm very impressed instead of saying,

499
00:33:51.060 --> 00:33:52.840
because I went to a vacation last week

500
00:33:52.840 --> 00:33:54.940
and he prayed for my safety and all that.

501
00:33:55.020 --> 00:33:57.340
So he wrote on the text of how,

502
00:33:57.400 --> 00:33:59.460
the prayer and all that, and then amen at the end.

503
00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:02.060
So I was very impressed by he praying,

504
00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:04.460
he actually wrote on it rather than just saying,

505
00:34:04.620 --> 00:34:05.640
I'm gonna pray for you.

506
00:34:05.640 --> 00:34:08.179
But what he wrote about those stuff is really,

507
00:34:09.219 --> 00:34:10.940
it's alarming to me that,

508
00:34:11.460 --> 00:34:14.139
what is, we just have not even talk on the phone,

509
00:34:14.219 --> 00:34:15.679
I mean, talk on the video chat,

510
00:34:15.860 --> 00:34:18.000
we have not even face to face conversation.

511
00:34:19.260 --> 00:34:20.159
And I don't know.

512
00:34:20.580 --> 00:34:23.360
People tell you who they are, you just have to listen.

513
00:34:23.980 --> 00:34:27.320
And men are not afraid usually to talk about,

514
00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:30.500
sometimes if that's what they want really upfront,

515
00:34:30.659 --> 00:34:32.280
especially from dating apps.

516
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:35.940
Also y'all, I wanna say this,

517
00:34:37.260 --> 00:34:41.820
men can pray, preach, prophesy, lay hands,

518
00:34:42.219 --> 00:34:45.280
cast out demons and have a problem with pornography and sex.

519
00:34:45.620 --> 00:34:47.540
They can be touched, and this is gonna sound harsh to you,

520
00:34:47.560 --> 00:34:48.840
I've been in leadership a while.

521
00:34:49.159 --> 00:34:50.960
They can be touching their daughters.

522
00:34:51.560 --> 00:34:52.739
They can have problems with,

523
00:34:52.800 --> 00:34:54.940
they can have a lot of perversion going on.

524
00:34:55.139 --> 00:34:57.080
So I don't want, I just wanna think like,

525
00:34:57.200 --> 00:34:58.740
sometimes when we see a man pray,

526
00:34:59.000 --> 00:34:59.980
we get so impressed.

527
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.480
Respite, but let me tell you something. The Lord has some giants in the faith in the form of a man

528
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:10.000
Men are amazing. There's no shortage of

529
00:35:11.040 --> 00:35:12.740
mighty men of God

530
00:35:12.740 --> 00:35:17.480
Maybe a shortage in certain areas that we're in but I want to normalize that

531
00:35:18.040 --> 00:35:25.020
So that we can stop being impressed when a man can pray because Canada the truth is that's the foundation of any man that you want

532
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:31.580
But just because we can pray we can also have some things that we're struggling with and that's everybody

533
00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:41.560
Y'all I can pray well, but I said in my classroom today repenting in my heart for being harsh with one of my students

534
00:35:41.960 --> 00:35:46.580
This is one of the hardest things that I have to deal with you. You walk by my class. You won't be thinking this

535
00:35:48.140 --> 00:35:52.680
Like literally the way I hug and love on them like you will think these two people exist

536
00:35:52.680 --> 00:35:57.900
But sometimes I have trouble with staying with a gentle tone with them like all of us have struggles

537
00:35:58.120 --> 00:36:03.820
Like there are so many areas of my life that I've struggled in and it doesn't mean that God is not with me

538
00:36:03.820 --> 00:36:08.300
It means that I'm growing and I want us to understand if you evaluate your own life

539
00:36:08.300 --> 00:36:13.560
Look at your own struggles and see how much God still lives with you fully

540
00:36:13.960 --> 00:36:17.040
It's the same thing with another person. I

541
00:36:17.040 --> 00:36:18.380
Just want to say that

542
00:36:19.100 --> 00:36:21.380
We can all struggle with perversion

543
00:36:22.640 --> 00:36:23.600
Pornography masturbation

544
00:36:24.720 --> 00:36:25.680
smoking drinking

545
00:36:26.240 --> 00:36:30.280
Drugs, whatever you want to call it. You can be there and be in Christ

546
00:36:31.480 --> 00:36:32.760
and be growing

547
00:36:34.140 --> 00:36:35.420
Does that make sense?

548
00:36:36.260 --> 00:36:39.800
I'm not trying to have a preach night, but I just want y'all to know that

549
00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:46.140
And so when I'm talking to a man, no matter how great he is. I remind myself that he's no he's a person

550
00:36:49.740 --> 00:36:50.300
Oh

551
00:36:50.300 --> 00:36:54.780
Good so do you suggest I should move on?

552
00:36:56.300 --> 00:36:58.840
Yes, I do I

553
00:36:58.840 --> 00:37:02.620
Do I think that those all those comments were very inappropriate candy?

554
00:37:02.860 --> 00:37:07.480
They weren't honoring or respectful and I think that if you do stick around

555
00:37:07.640 --> 00:37:11.880
He's gonna send out some more bait and then you can stick around to see for yourself

556
00:37:12.840 --> 00:37:18.000
Um, but I wouldn't take him serious if I did if I were yeah, yeah, I'm not a bank owner much

557
00:37:18.720 --> 00:37:23.520
Yeah, I say me. Yeah, I'm probably gonna have a video call with him and dance

558
00:37:23.680 --> 00:37:27.860
Yeah, and maybe next time you make those comments go ahead and challenge and say, you know

559
00:37:27.860 --> 00:37:32.240
When that's safe when you say things like that, I'm wondering what you're talking about

560
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:34.740
So, what do you mean?

561
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:36.380
What are your thoughts about this?

562
00:37:36.660 --> 00:37:40.160
Why don't you want to give him a picture you on the bed? Like I just asked the questions

563
00:37:40.160 --> 00:37:42.820
Don't be afraid of what he's gonna say. I

564
00:37:42.820 --> 00:37:45.260
Should just say I just asked him. What do you have in your mind?

565
00:37:48.780 --> 00:37:55.260
Yeah, okay, okay. All right. Yeah. Thank you. I believe yeah

566
00:37:55.260 --> 00:38:00.620
All right, all right

567
00:38:00.620 --> 00:38:05.040
I'm amazing. I like it. It's gonna make a face. Can you mommy Lauren?

568
00:38:06.060 --> 00:38:12.380
Yeah, Lauren. Yes. Sorry. I'm here. You're okay. I didn't call you number one time. I wrote so quick my little penis

569
00:38:23.020 --> 00:38:23.640
I

570
00:38:23.640 --> 00:38:25.880
Okay now I'm you Lauren I

571
00:38:26.080 --> 00:38:33.400
Hear me. Okay. Yeah, I had to meet you to get out the background. Okay, um, so I

572
00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:37.560
had I know I had you know posted some about this and

573
00:38:39.120 --> 00:38:43.220
On the page and you had responded about that

574
00:38:43.220 --> 00:38:47.100
I'm not sure cuz I meant to come, you know last

575
00:38:47.360 --> 00:38:52.440
week, but I hadn't been able to I had some other stuff going on and

576
00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:54.420
But I did, you know

577
00:38:54.700 --> 00:38:55.900
Send him

578
00:38:56.680 --> 00:38:57.280
another

579
00:38:57.600 --> 00:39:01.960
Message and we did get a I want to let you know that we did

580
00:39:02.540 --> 00:39:05.520
Find a time not this weekend because of the holiday

581
00:39:06.040 --> 00:39:07.680
Weekend but the next

582
00:39:08.740 --> 00:39:11.840
after that where we're going to have a

583
00:39:13.320 --> 00:39:14.200
date in person

584
00:39:17.100 --> 00:39:22.840
And so I wanted to you know, just kind of let you guys know about the

585
00:39:25.740 --> 00:39:30.660
The updating in with the situation I think you might still be muted

586
00:39:32.260 --> 00:39:34.340
No, I was just clapping for you

587
00:39:36.180 --> 00:39:38.020
Oh, thank you

588
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:47.880
Yeah, so how do you feel about it tell me like what is your thoughts because this has been how long you've been getting to

589
00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:49.740
know him, um

590
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:54.740
Well, I'm I'm going to tell all myself. This is gonna be this is gonna be bad

591
00:39:56.500 --> 00:39:59.100
But we had it's been

592
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.480
several months where we have just been talking just primarily on the

593
00:40:11.200 --> 00:40:19.220
messenger, texting messenger on Facebook. Like I said, we did have the phone and

594
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:25.500
the video and the audio call, so I do know that, you know, he's a real person

595
00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:37.440
and stuff. But I mean, I am, you know, excited to kind of see how things go, see if, you know,

596
00:40:37.720 --> 00:40:46.640
there's any further connection or anything. Because yeah, I mean, I haven't really,

597
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:53.380
don't have any experience with this, so this is going to be the first

598
00:40:54.460 --> 00:41:06.160
date. And so I am looking forward to seeing, you know, learning more about him. And because I had,

599
00:41:06.260 --> 00:41:12.560
you know, sent a message, let me see if I can, just so that, you know, give an idea. I mean,

600
00:41:12.560 --> 00:41:17.300
it was similar to kind of the things that you had mentioned in your, when we were messaging

601
00:41:18.220 --> 00:41:24.640
about it. But, you know, that it was, that I had been praying about it because it had been a few

602
00:41:24.640 --> 00:41:28.180
days since we had talked, since I wanted to take that time to, you know, kind of pray

603
00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:33.460
and figure out exactly how I wanted to word everything in the message so that I didn't

604
00:41:34.900 --> 00:41:43.080
seem like, you know, abrupt or whatever, or that I was changing things up that, oh,

605
00:41:43.080 --> 00:41:50.860
you've been happy to just do this or what's changed or whatever. And so, but he was, you know,

606
00:41:51.360 --> 00:42:00.300
very responsive and so I'm excited to see, you know, if things, how things move forward from

607
00:42:00.300 --> 00:42:08.760
here. Yeah, Laura, how far is he from you? We're about two hours away. I'm in Cleveland and he

608
00:42:08.760 --> 00:42:17.920
lives in the Columbus area. And so we're going to meet about an hour away in Mansfield. And so

609
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:23.400
it's a little bit, you know, further, I mean, a little bit closer for both of us. Neither one of

610
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:33.240
us has to drive the whole way. And have y'all planned the date yet? Yes, he has taken some of

611
00:42:33.240 --> 00:42:40.120
initiative with planning some of it, which I know that I had mentioned that in some of when I was

612
00:42:40.120 --> 00:42:46.600
posting on the wall about that's, I think, at least part of the reason why I had let things

613
00:42:46.600 --> 00:42:55.000
go on for such a long time, but without actually meeting in person is because I was wanting him to

614
00:42:55.920 --> 00:43:07.340
be the initiator. Yes. And so he was planning some of the stuff with the date and

615
00:43:08.080 --> 00:43:17.200
on the 7th of September, we're supposed to go to a botanical gardens there in Mansfield. And so

616
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:28.800
we haven't discussed if, you know, we're going to do anything else. But that's right now what

617
00:43:28.900 --> 00:43:35.240
the plan is for the... Yeah. And what time are y'all going to meet? At 10. Oh, good. 10 in the

618
00:43:35.240 --> 00:43:41.340
morning. So y'all be able to grab lunch. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm excited for you. I just speak

619
00:43:41.340 --> 00:43:46.240
peace over your nervous system. I can't imagine talking to somebody that long. It gets harder.

620
00:43:46.240 --> 00:43:51.400
The longer you talk to a person, the easier it is to get used to them being your texting buddy.

621
00:43:51.800 --> 00:43:56.160
Yeah. And that's why I wanted things to change and why I had, you know, sent the

622
00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:04.560
initial post in the group. I didn't want to just be texting, but I kind of needed

623
00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:13.400
some advice on how to, what to say and how to word it. Yeah. In order to make that change.

624
00:44:13.400 --> 00:44:18.120
Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm excited for you because it's going to be your first date, right?

625
00:44:18.420 --> 00:44:24.900
Yes. Okay. Well, keep us posted. Let us see your outfit for the day. And then

626
00:44:24.900 --> 00:44:30.840
message us before you leave. Y'all, I feel like Lauren, message us before you leave and message

627
00:44:30.840 --> 00:44:38.700
us when you get back. Okay. I will. Okay. All right. Yay. All right. Thank you, Ebony.

628
00:44:38.700 --> 00:44:50.900
You're welcome. Hey, Aubrey. Hi, Ebony. Hey, sweet face. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you?

629
00:44:51.540 --> 00:44:59.820
I'm good. I'm here to get some help. We want to help you. Yeah. Okay.

630
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:09.020
I guess just quick update. So I'm still dating Boston guy. We've done April, May, June, July,

631
00:45:09.240 --> 00:45:15.000
we've done four visits. So he was come for a few days, I would go there for a few days.

632
00:45:15.620 --> 00:45:23.280
It was it's been good as far as contact points like in person and real life contact points

633
00:45:24.080 --> 00:45:30.640
for distance, I reckon. Yeah. So where we're at right now.

634
00:45:33.780 --> 00:45:37.520
I guess a little a little bit of backstory. So you understand this about me.

635
00:45:38.240 --> 00:45:46.960
So my faith has been kind of very mirrored to like, maybe like a messianic believers faith.

636
00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:54.000
So things like the Sabbath, like biblical feasts, things like that have been really

637
00:45:54.000 --> 00:46:01.440
important to me and my family, you know, probably for like the last seven, seven years.

638
00:46:02.400 --> 00:46:07.880
And so what I feel like I often come against not against, I don't know, but

639
00:46:07.880 --> 00:46:14.280
face with dating is that these things are not really mainstream. Like there's not there's way

640
00:46:14.280 --> 00:46:20.920
more believers that are not in the same perspective in these areas. And so

641
00:46:22.440 --> 00:46:27.260
a big concern that I've had previously in dating is what is it going to look like

642
00:46:27.540 --> 00:46:32.680
when I'm with somebody we're considering long term, but I have a lot of

643
00:46:33.680 --> 00:46:41.900
things that they're not super mainstream. And basically, every, every guy that I have

644
00:46:42.800 --> 00:46:47.640
encountered dated, they like all of this is new concepts, like new ideas,

645
00:46:47.640 --> 00:46:55.380
why would you even do this? This seems so irrelevant, like every time, right. And so

646
00:46:55.520 --> 00:47:01.580
I think where I'm at right now, basically, so he's coming to visit next weekend.

647
00:47:02.680 --> 00:47:08.220
It's just super short visit. It's like he gets in really late on Friday night,

648
00:47:08.220 --> 00:47:13.200
he's here Saturday, and then he leaves like in the late, well, the evening, I guess on Sunday.

649
00:47:13.640 --> 00:47:21.340
But what I'm trying to navigate is like, everybody's faith is personal, right? And the

650
00:47:21.340 --> 00:47:26.660
exact expression can differ from person to person, and it can still be so very valid.

651
00:47:27.240 --> 00:47:31.900
And yet when you're thinking about the practicals of life, it's like,

652
00:47:33.260 --> 00:47:39.080
well, I'm just I'm struggling because I don't want to abandon my values. But I also don't want

653
00:47:39.080 --> 00:47:45.460
to be so inflexible because I know there's many different expressions that are all valid. And so

654
00:47:47.020 --> 00:47:51.740
that's where I'm at. Basically, we we've talked through a lot of stuff. We've done a lot of like

655
00:47:51.740 --> 00:47:56.560
studying like why do you believe this and like really digging into the word and that has been

656
00:47:56.560 --> 00:48:01.700
really good. And I think I was scared to do it at first because I'm like, this guy is amazing.

657
00:48:01.700 --> 00:48:08.860
He's a godly guy, like, emotionally, relationally, like, he's so communicative, like,

658
00:48:08.860 --> 00:48:15.380
he's forgiving, he's patient, like, he's got so much character. And yet we come from very different

659
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:20.380
backgrounds. So what does that look like? And so I don't know your input on that just

660
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:29.320
it's not like, you know, we're, we love the same God, we have many of the same values. But

661
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:33.400
yet there's other things that I have done that have not been a part of his life at all.

662
00:48:33.400 --> 00:48:39.300
So where do I put that? Yeah. So my first question is, do both of you believe that Jesus

663
00:48:39.300 --> 00:48:47.400
is Lord and Savior of the world? Yes. So you're not Messianic Jew. You just celebrate the Jewish

664
00:48:47.420 --> 00:48:53.220
holidays. I mean, in that way, you're saying you are you. So we know Messianic Jew is a Christ

665
00:48:53.220 --> 00:48:59.000
like Jew. Sorry. Yeah, they they follow. They are. Okay. So I want to say this. I celebrate a lot of

666
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:07.240
Jewish holidays. Okay. And so when you say that to me, it's not alarming to me at all. I do it

667
00:49:07.240 --> 00:49:13.000
because that is the calendar that Jesus operated by as well. And he was a Jew. That's my belief

668
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:19.420
based on what I believe in. And so I enjoy celebrating the holidays. And I don't, I don't

669
00:49:19.420 --> 00:49:23.740
think nothing of it. Even if I marry somebody, I wouldn't think none of it. I'm just gonna celebrate

670
00:49:23.740 --> 00:49:29.380
the holiday. If they don't want to celebrate the holiday, they don't have to celebrate the holiday.

671
00:49:30.420 --> 00:49:36.700
I don't celebrate Christmas. I don't celebrate the advertisement or the sales of Christmas.

672
00:49:37.520 --> 00:49:42.480
I was, my mama just never really celebrated it. I celebrate the birth of Christ,

673
00:49:42.700 --> 00:49:47.360
but he wasn't born on Christmas. And Christmas to me is a sales thing to make money.

674
00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:53.040
I wouldn't care either, but that's a big deal for people. Well, it's a really big deal for a lot of

675
00:49:53.040 --> 00:49:57.220
people, but you know, I'm just saying like, and so I know that it's something like that.

676
00:49:57.520 --> 00:49:59.980
Some just, if we have children or something, our household.

677
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.920
or have the decision have to be made for the kids,

678
00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:03.620
but not for two adults or whatever.

679
00:50:04.040 --> 00:50:06.300
But if somebody around me wants to celebrate Christmas,

680
00:50:06.400 --> 00:50:07.760
I just join in with them.

681
00:50:07.880 --> 00:50:10.560
I don't get into the commercial sales of things

682
00:50:11.120 --> 00:50:13.840
because I know what it is, but I enjoy the holiday.

683
00:50:14.460 --> 00:50:15.480
Does that make sense?

684
00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:19.480
My sister, we create our own things.

685
00:50:19.520 --> 00:50:20.600
I'm just giving you an example.

686
00:50:20.780 --> 00:50:22.800
Her children, her and her husband,

687
00:50:22.920 --> 00:50:24.500
he wanted to celebrate Christmas.

688
00:50:24.740 --> 00:50:25.580
She just was like,

689
00:50:25.600 --> 00:50:28.020
look, I don't really want to raise the children up in this.

690
00:50:28.600 --> 00:50:28.800
Yeah.

691
00:50:29.440 --> 00:50:31.420
He agreed, but they don't stop the grandparents

692
00:50:31.420 --> 00:50:32.400
from sending gifts.

693
00:50:32.660 --> 00:50:34.520
Like they don't stop people,

694
00:50:34.620 --> 00:50:36.700
like their grandparents that love them so much

695
00:50:36.700 --> 00:50:38.560
from sending them a Christmas gift

696
00:50:38.660 --> 00:50:41.220
because they've taught their children the truth.

697
00:50:41.560 --> 00:50:43.000
And so it's like, yeah,

698
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:44.660
they don't withhold grandparents

699
00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:47.120
from expressing themselves that way, right?

700
00:50:47.120 --> 00:50:47.920
That's what I'm saying.

701
00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:51.580
All I'm saying is if the core foundation is the same,

702
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:54.160
these other things are just logistics,

703
00:50:54.240 --> 00:50:56.000
unless he's saying to you,

704
00:50:56.000 --> 00:50:58.440
well, we're not celebrating the Passover

705
00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:01.540
and we're not celebrating the new year in September.

706
00:51:01.660 --> 00:51:03.040
Cause I think that's on the Jewish council,

707
00:51:03.200 --> 00:51:04.120
the new year's in September.

708
00:51:04.260 --> 00:51:07.400
Oh, we're not celebrating the days of feast

709
00:51:07.400 --> 00:51:09.580
and we're not celebrating the, whichever.

710
00:51:09.920 --> 00:51:11.640
I'm like, come camp with us for Sukkot.

711
00:51:11.960 --> 00:51:12.740
Like, it's great.

712
00:51:12.740 --> 00:51:13.460
It's wonderful.

713
00:51:13.640 --> 00:51:15.180
You know, I love it.

714
00:51:15.600 --> 00:51:18.460
And if he's saying that I'm not going to do that,

715
00:51:18.520 --> 00:51:21.260
then you may want to say if he's,

716
00:51:21.480 --> 00:51:22.920
if you feel like he's that great

717
00:51:22.920 --> 00:51:24.900
and you feel like that,

718
00:51:26.300 --> 00:51:29.340
if you feel like God's hand is on this relationship,

719
00:51:30.380 --> 00:51:32.000
and then you may want to say to him,

720
00:51:32.120 --> 00:51:34.300
would you be okay if I live this way?

721
00:51:34.860 --> 00:51:38.360
That I celebrate these things, right?

722
00:51:38.360 --> 00:51:39.580
So then that's that question.

723
00:51:40.320 --> 00:51:43.280
Like, we'll have to be separate on this part.

724
00:51:44.880 --> 00:51:45.240
That's-

725
00:51:45.240 --> 00:51:47.600
When you think about kids, that's what I think about.

726
00:51:47.640 --> 00:51:48.880
Like, what do you teach them?

727
00:51:48.920 --> 00:51:49.240
Right.

728
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:51.660
That's what I immediately think like,

729
00:51:51.660 --> 00:51:53.820
well, what if there's conflicting-

730
00:51:53.820 --> 00:51:54.920
It is going to be conflict.

731
00:51:55.060 --> 00:51:56.440
So that's why you talk about, say,

732
00:51:56.580 --> 00:51:58.100
so when we had children,

733
00:51:58.580 --> 00:52:00.480
what way do you want them to be taught?

734
00:52:00.560 --> 00:52:02.060
And then you just have to make a decision.

735
00:52:02.540 --> 00:52:04.440
Aubrey, I'm going to tell you something.

736
00:52:05.080 --> 00:52:08.760
I don't believe that somebody, some person,

737
00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:14.320
one person is such so amazing that they can't be released

738
00:52:15.700 --> 00:52:18.220
because your positioning is limited.

739
00:52:18.220 --> 00:52:21.620
You only see them where you are.

740
00:52:23.600 --> 00:52:27.680
And I would submit that idea to the Lord

741
00:52:27.680 --> 00:52:30.200
that this person is so wonderful and amazing

742
00:52:30.200 --> 00:52:31.940
that there's nobody like them,

743
00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:36.060
and ask him, is this what you have for me?

744
00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:39.100
Is this the best for Aubrey?

745
00:52:42.100 --> 00:52:45.220
That's a really big deal because I dated a person.

746
00:52:45.320 --> 00:52:46.100
It's like switching up.

747
00:52:46.100 --> 00:52:47.840
We talked about one time switching up the good

748
00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:50.280
for the better, the better for the great.

749
00:52:50.800 --> 00:52:52.440
You don't want to let go what's good

750
00:52:52.440 --> 00:52:55.120
because you deemed it so good, but it's something better.

751
00:52:55.980 --> 00:52:57.200
And sometimes we get the better,

752
00:52:57.360 --> 00:52:59.260
and God said, let go of the better for the great.

753
00:53:00.080 --> 00:53:02.300
And it's like, do we get any better than this?

754
00:53:02.300 --> 00:53:03.800
And like, yeah, it does

755
00:53:04.460 --> 00:53:06.820
because he's not measuring by our measuring.

756
00:53:07.380 --> 00:53:09.040
Their emotional environment, they're this,

757
00:53:09.060 --> 00:53:10.100
and they're this, and they're that,

758
00:53:10.100 --> 00:53:12.080
and they're this, and they're that, and they may be.

759
00:53:13.340 --> 00:53:16.320
But because you haven't seen the 15 year,

760
00:53:16.320 --> 00:53:20.740
the 10 year Aubrey, the five year Aubrey, the 3.0 Aubrey,

761
00:53:20.820 --> 00:53:25.300
you don't know if this person is fit for that Aubrey.

762
00:53:25.640 --> 00:53:27.760
You just know the one that's fit for this Aubrey.

763
00:53:27.980 --> 00:53:30.940
Then all of a sudden, all that good stuff they had

764
00:53:30.940 --> 00:53:33.000
ain't gonna be so good no more

765
00:53:33.000 --> 00:53:35.080
because it doesn't fit anymore

766
00:53:35.380 --> 00:53:38.440
because you haven't seen your path of growth yet.

767
00:53:38.700 --> 00:53:40.840
It hasn't been unveiled to you yet.

768
00:53:41.200 --> 00:53:44.900
So what I'm saying to you is I want you to submit the idea

769
00:53:44.900 --> 00:53:46.940
because this is what you've been saying since the beginning.

770
00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:49.680
This just so good.

771
00:53:49.840 --> 00:53:51.180
It's just so good.

772
00:53:51.360 --> 00:53:52.120
Do you remember?

773
00:53:53.060 --> 00:53:54.300
It's just so good.

774
00:53:54.640 --> 00:53:56.800
He says that we're gonna have the exclusive we date.

775
00:53:56.980 --> 00:53:58.820
This so good, I can't let it go.

776
00:54:01.020 --> 00:54:04.860
And it's not worth like being torn about it.

777
00:54:05.240 --> 00:54:07.500
I will submit it to the altar of the Lord.

778
00:54:07.600 --> 00:54:09.420
I would nail it to the cross and say,

779
00:54:09.420 --> 00:54:11.800
Jesus, I give this to you to make a decision

780
00:54:11.800 --> 00:54:13.760
because I can't, because it is so good.

781
00:54:13.760 --> 00:54:16.320
The way you made this guy is amazing.

782
00:54:17.460 --> 00:54:19.680
He is an amazing man of God.

783
00:54:20.040 --> 00:54:21.300
And I thank you for the opportunity

784
00:54:21.300 --> 00:54:22.800
that I've had to get to know him.

785
00:54:22.960 --> 00:54:24.980
But you know what's best for Aubrey.

786
00:54:25.100 --> 00:54:27.560
And if you says this man is best for me,

787
00:54:27.680 --> 00:54:30.920
then tell me how we're gonna work through these other things

788
00:54:31.980 --> 00:54:35.260
because if he is what serves you best, Aubrey,

789
00:54:35.860 --> 00:54:38.100
all of this stuff is already worked out.

790
00:54:38.320 --> 00:54:41.240
You have just yet to see it unveiled,

791
00:54:42.040 --> 00:54:44.140
but you're not gonna be able to get surety

792
00:54:44.140 --> 00:54:45.620
in a place you have not been.

793
00:54:46.100 --> 00:54:49.060
You can't get grace for a land you don't live in.

794
00:54:49.400 --> 00:54:49.400


795
00:54:51.240 --> 00:54:52.800
Right, you got grace for-

796
00:54:52.800 --> 00:54:55.000
To solve problems for babies that don't exist, right?

797
00:54:55.200 --> 00:54:56.520
Or getting a house.

798
00:54:56.520 --> 00:54:58.920
Well, if you're considering marrying somebody,

799
00:54:58.960 --> 00:54:59.980
you do have to know how you're choosing.

800
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.060
we're not gonna be raised.

801
00:55:02.140 --> 00:55:04.580
And you don't know if even if he says,

802
00:55:04.760 --> 00:55:06.540
look, I ain't trying to go on that feast days,

803
00:55:06.540 --> 00:55:08.940
but you never know what happens in his heart

804
00:55:08.940 --> 00:55:09.740
after y'all get married.

805
00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:12.200
Like there's so many things you can't account for.

806
00:55:12.720 --> 00:55:13.180
So stop.

807
00:55:13.580 --> 00:55:15.960
So there's nothing wrong with you talking about it.

808
00:55:15.960 --> 00:55:17.080
This is a big deal.

809
00:55:17.100 --> 00:55:18.720
That's not what I'm saying to you,

810
00:55:19.200 --> 00:55:22.460
but I am concerned about you talking about it

811
00:55:22.460 --> 00:55:24.640
tied to the idea that he is the best thing

812
00:55:24.640 --> 00:55:25.660
since sliced bread.

813
00:55:26.200 --> 00:55:26.860
Mm-hmm.

814
00:55:27.740 --> 00:55:29.940
Well, I was just even praying today

815
00:55:29.940 --> 00:55:31.700
because he's coming to visit and he's like,

816
00:55:31.760 --> 00:55:33.580
okay, we really need to talk more

817
00:55:33.580 --> 00:55:35.160
through all of these different things.

818
00:55:35.160 --> 00:55:36.720
And I'm like, yeah, we really do.

819
00:55:37.040 --> 00:55:38.980
And so there's a lot of things we're gonna be,

820
00:55:39.020 --> 00:55:41.980
and it's gonna be, I think maybe hard conversations, right?

821
00:55:41.980 --> 00:55:43.520
Which I'm like not super excited,

822
00:55:43.820 --> 00:55:46.280
but I'm just praying and thinking like, okay,

823
00:55:46.820 --> 00:55:50.380
Lord, if this is not it and I will be okay.

824
00:55:50.620 --> 00:55:51.800
I will be okay.

825
00:55:51.940 --> 00:55:54.040
And I'm like, I'm having to tell myself that

826
00:55:54.040 --> 00:55:56.800
because I'm like, I feel I have not gone through a breakup

827
00:55:56.800 --> 00:55:59.560
or a walk away from a something and been okay.

828
00:55:59.600 --> 00:56:04.040
And I'm like, if I need to walk away, will I be okay?

829
00:56:04.080 --> 00:56:04.760
I'm gonna be okay.

830
00:56:04.880 --> 00:56:05.560
You know what I'm saying?

831
00:56:06.200 --> 00:56:06.200


832
00:56:06.700 --> 00:56:09.180
Yeah, it'll take a while, but you will eventually.

833
00:56:09.460 --> 00:56:10.440
It's gonna hurt bad.

834
00:56:11.100 --> 00:56:13.220
If you needed to hear that, that's the truth.

835
00:56:13.240 --> 00:56:13.960
It is gonna hurt.

836
00:56:14.100 --> 00:56:17.160
You know that it's gonna cost you, right?

837
00:56:17.160 --> 00:56:19.140
There's a cost to all things,

838
00:56:19.340 --> 00:56:22.520
but after you pay the cost, you look at what you gained

839
00:56:23.160 --> 00:56:25.020
and you would have not lost Aubrey.

840
00:56:26.540 --> 00:56:28.240
You don't lose in this process.

841
00:56:28.580 --> 00:56:31.040
And once you get rid of, I can lose.

842
00:56:32.020 --> 00:56:33.960
Trust me, you can have conversations better.

843
00:56:34.440 --> 00:56:37.380
When you get rid of, I have to give up what I really want.

844
00:56:38.640 --> 00:56:41.800
No, you never even had what was really for you.

845
00:56:42.080 --> 00:56:43.880
You were having an experience.

846
00:56:44.060 --> 00:56:46.960
You went all in to take a journey.

847
00:56:47.200 --> 00:56:50.940
And what's wrong with it, right?

848
00:56:50.940 --> 00:56:54.220
Would you rather marry the wrong person

849
00:56:54.660 --> 00:56:56.580
or the right person?

850
00:56:56.940 --> 00:56:58.840
And if it costs you this,

851
00:56:58.980 --> 00:57:00.240
would you be willing to pay for it

852
00:57:00.240 --> 00:57:01.720
to get to what's best for Aubrey?

853
00:57:03.380 --> 00:57:05.660
Of course, and so I think you should have the conversation.

854
00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:08.600
I think y'all should have hard, ask the hard questions.

855
00:57:08.940 --> 00:57:10.700
And I think that both of you should pray.

856
00:57:10.920 --> 00:57:12.040
Both of you guys are believers.

857
00:57:12.580 --> 00:57:15.420
And say, Lord, we lay this relationship on your altar.

858
00:57:15.760 --> 00:57:19.480
We are limited in our knowledge and our understanding

859
00:57:19.480 --> 00:57:20.820
and in our wisdom.

860
00:57:21.400 --> 00:57:23.400
But you, oh God, know all things.

861
00:57:23.880 --> 00:57:25.900
And then this is my favorite prayer right here.

862
00:57:25.960 --> 00:57:28.440
If this ain't you, just let it fall apart.

863
00:57:28.920 --> 00:57:31.400
Now, some people don't like that kind of abrupt stuff,

864
00:57:31.400 --> 00:57:32.900
but I'm like, just let it.

865
00:57:34.400 --> 00:57:38.880
So I won't have no, well, what if, but if I,

866
00:57:39.220 --> 00:57:42.620
but I guess, but what if I was wrong?

867
00:57:42.960 --> 00:57:45.320
What if we could've had something special?

868
00:57:46.200 --> 00:57:49.380
I mean, what if I was just being too hard?

869
00:57:49.660 --> 00:57:51.660
What if my standards are too high?

870
00:57:51.660 --> 00:57:54.440
I mean, we all have our own way of expressing the God

871
00:57:54.440 --> 00:57:55.800
that we believe in.

872
00:57:58.980 --> 00:58:01.000
Look, God, I give this to you.

873
00:58:01.260 --> 00:58:02.520
I trust you with it.

874
00:58:02.540 --> 00:58:04.940
If it's not what's best, you deal with it.

875
00:58:05.040 --> 00:58:06.920
I know what you allow to happen.

876
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:08.360
You're gonna keep my heart safe.

877
00:58:08.720 --> 00:58:09.800
And even when it's broken,

878
00:58:09.800 --> 00:58:12.120
I can go to the one who will hold my heart

879
00:58:12.200 --> 00:58:14.460
until I'm well, whole, and complete.

880
00:58:15.180 --> 00:58:16.780
Ready to start again.

881
00:58:20.740 --> 00:58:23.700
Ooh, your face, it make me wanna hold you,

882
00:58:23.920 --> 00:58:26.040
arm you like a little baby.

883
00:58:26.580 --> 00:58:28.280
How old are you, like 24?

884
00:58:28.960 --> 00:58:30.960
I'm 27, what are you talking about?

885
00:58:30.960 --> 00:58:32.140
How old are you, Sydney?

886
00:58:33.180 --> 00:58:34.780
Do y'all see her little face?

887
00:58:34.880 --> 00:58:36.120
It's a little fat face.

888
00:58:36.480 --> 00:58:38.320
She's like, save me.

889
00:58:38.320 --> 00:58:39.680
I've been crying a little bit.

890
00:58:39.680 --> 00:58:40.680
Save the one Lord.

891
00:58:40.720 --> 00:58:42.160
I've been crying a little bit,

892
00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:45.400
but I'm like, I just think like,

893
00:58:45.400 --> 00:58:47.240
these are big, big decisions.

894
00:58:47.420 --> 00:58:48.860
And I think I've, for years,

895
00:58:48.920 --> 00:58:50.460
wanted to put the responsibility

896
00:58:50.460 --> 00:58:53.360
or the decision-making to somebody else.

897
00:58:53.560 --> 00:58:55.220
And so to me, it's like, oh my goodness.

898
00:58:55.400 --> 00:58:57.980
Okay, no, God's with me,

899
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:02.100
but he also is like, wants me to set my boundaries.

900
00:59:02.340 --> 00:59:03.180
And you know what I mean?

901
00:59:03.940 --> 00:59:05.700
Make decisions, right?

902
00:59:05.900 --> 00:59:07.060
And that's hard.

903
00:59:07.660 --> 00:59:08.640
Oh, I know it's hard

904
00:59:08.640 --> 00:59:11.300
because that last relationship I was in, which was lovely,

905
00:59:11.980 --> 00:59:14.300
I cried and I told the Lord, you do it.

906
00:59:14.580 --> 00:59:15.440
I did.

907
00:59:15.620 --> 00:59:18.000
I said, you make the decision, you do it.

908
00:59:18.500 --> 00:59:20.260
And it wasn't audible,

909
00:59:20.600 --> 00:59:22.560
but he basically told me, no.

910
00:59:22.900 --> 00:59:24.240
It was a stern one.

911
00:59:24.340 --> 00:59:26.100
I'm not doing that for you.

912
00:59:26.160 --> 00:59:27.900
But I said, you gotta do it.

913
00:59:27.960 --> 00:59:28.720
Just do it.

914
00:59:28.780 --> 00:59:31.280
I even begged him, turn my heart toward him.

915
00:59:31.380 --> 00:59:32.240
You do it.

916
00:59:32.700 --> 00:59:33.660
He's wonderful.

917
00:59:34.380 --> 00:59:35.340
He's amazing.

918
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:36.400
What are you?

919
00:59:36.620 --> 00:59:37.880
God, just turn my heart.

920
00:59:38.040 --> 00:59:39.660
If you say do it, I'll do it.

921
00:59:40.200 --> 00:59:42.340
Just, well, you do everything as you do it.

922
00:59:42.340 --> 00:59:44.980
And he said, no, I won't.

923
00:59:45.600 --> 00:59:46.880
And there's something that God,

924
00:59:47.220 --> 00:59:50.440
you know, y'all, we want God to do everything for us,

925
00:59:50.460 --> 00:59:52.480
but he's empowered us to do it.

926
00:59:52.660 --> 00:59:54.740
We have to make decisions

927
00:59:56.460 --> 00:59:58.560
because you ain't finna get on the other side of I do

928
00:59:58.560 --> 00:59:59.860
and tell God it's his fault.

929
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.200
Yeah, you made that decision and we're powerful. We can make decisions and we always make decisions

930
01:00:06.200 --> 01:00:08.240
All of us are making decisions every day

931
01:00:11.860 --> 01:00:13.600
Let us know how it goes

932
01:00:13.680 --> 01:00:20.260
Aubrey we are supporting it. Yeah father God give all be strength and right now I release any skill

933
01:00:20.260 --> 01:00:22.760
That is on your eye and on your mind

934
01:00:22.960 --> 01:00:28.480
Any lies that have wrapped itself around your belief system. I pull it up by the roots now

935
01:00:28.480 --> 01:00:31.220
Replace it with the blood of Jesus

936
01:00:31.300 --> 01:00:34.580
to heal your system from um

937
01:00:34.580 --> 01:00:41.880
Like to like almost like your memory system to heal the the systems of your memory where any lies have been embedded in your mind

938
01:00:41.920 --> 01:00:45.040
I pray now scales will fall after your eyes

939
01:00:45.060 --> 01:00:46.860
Anything that's blocking your ears

940
01:00:46.860 --> 01:00:53.160
It will be removed in anything that's blocking your heart will be removed so that you may hear and see all things

941
01:00:53.160 --> 01:00:58.840
Well, I pray that the Lord would meet both of both of you are both of you have invested so much

942
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:02.460
You really really have and the Lord knows your heart

943
01:01:02.460 --> 01:01:08.300
He loves both of you so much and I just speak over your life Aubrey. It's impossible for you to lose

944
01:01:08.840 --> 01:01:17.340
Any person who has a God who defends them in fights for them will never lose and I call the devil a liar

945
01:01:17.340 --> 01:01:20.740
You can't lose you haven't lost time

946
01:01:20.740 --> 01:01:26.000
God is a God that restores time and it will be as if you've never missed anything

947
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:28.020
He's the only one that can do that

948
01:01:28.020 --> 01:01:32.500
He's the only one that can go in the past and make up and he's the only one that can grab from the future and

949
01:01:32.500 --> 01:01:36.380
Add to the present and make you full lacking no good thing

950
01:01:36.380 --> 01:01:40.360
And so I just declared that there's a God that sits in the heaven and looks over

951
01:01:40.360 --> 01:01:46.100
Aubrey and he's called the God that lacks no good thing and I just thank you Lord for

952
01:01:46.260 --> 01:01:53.820
Reaching her now speaking to her now ministering to her heart and fortifying her for the decisions that have to be made in

953
01:01:53.820 --> 01:01:55.160
Jesus name. Amen

954
01:01:56.520 --> 01:01:57.160
Amen

955
01:01:57.160 --> 01:02:00.220
Amen. Thank you. Ebony. You're welcome

956
01:02:01.180 --> 01:02:08.000
All right, we get some good praying tonight. Don't come out heaven know how to do it

957
01:02:08.140 --> 01:02:10.800
That's prayer wasn't even for me. But no

958
01:02:13.300 --> 01:02:13.780
I

959
01:02:14.580 --> 01:02:17.080
Been praying for you, too

960
01:02:17.080 --> 01:02:21.440
Thank you. I don't like I ain't heard from you. I started to come up there to Dallas

961
01:02:22.220 --> 01:02:25.800
But I couldn't found know what school you it but I've been praying for you

962
01:02:26.480 --> 01:02:30.520
I will tell you what school I am and I will be accessible to you

963
01:02:33.720 --> 01:02:34.240
I

964
01:02:35.660 --> 01:02:41.460
Am at Shaw Elementary, they're right. So I'm gonna come up there. Let me see a shower in the midge now

965
01:02:43.680 --> 01:02:49.100
I'm in shop elementary in Mesquite ISD. Okay. All right. All right. I got you

966
01:02:50.180 --> 01:02:51.760
All right, man

967
01:02:52.000 --> 01:02:55.060
What's going on girl? Tell us about that hot date you finna go on

968
01:02:58.520 --> 01:02:59.000
You

969
01:02:59.000 --> 01:02:59.000


970
01:03:02.320 --> 01:03:06.860
You know, I was I was absent and missing last week because I

971
01:03:08.260 --> 01:03:12.220
Just started a new job. So I had to kind of pull my roll on a couple of things

972
01:03:12.620 --> 01:03:15.980
However, I'm telling you I've been having to beat him off with a stick

973
01:03:17.860 --> 01:03:23.400
But I mean they've been coming they've been saying stuff we've been having conversations and all that

974
01:03:23.400 --> 01:03:30.320
But I gotta beat him off because I'm like no this it's just just this is not it

975
01:03:30.320 --> 01:03:33.140
I mean when I tell you my little I'm one three

976
01:03:34.220 --> 01:03:38.000
I'm on upward Facebook mark Facebook and

977
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:44.500
What's the other one, um the arc I think I'm on three different ones

978
01:03:44.680 --> 01:03:50.040
and so I was getting a lot of people from Facebook in which I still am but um, I

979
01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:57.760
Wasn't getting very many on the upward for a while then all of a sudden I just start getting these people and I'm like

980
01:03:58.420 --> 01:04:02.200
Did I say did I say some on the profile that you know?

981
01:04:02.780 --> 01:04:06.100
I thought I might have said something that was running them off and they wasn't calling

982
01:04:06.100 --> 01:04:12.480
I mean messaging me, but anyway, so I've had a couple of them that I've talked to here and there

983
01:04:13.060 --> 01:04:14.960
But I've been me some jokers

984
01:04:17.660 --> 01:04:23.740
I've been beat some jokers who think this beautiful face this smile

985
01:04:23.940 --> 01:04:26.220
Would just go for anything

986
01:04:26.620 --> 01:04:26.640
I

987
01:04:29.720 --> 01:04:32.200
Know I'm cute, but I ever

988
01:04:33.080 --> 01:04:39.420
Listen, I have seen some things before and this time, you know, I'm you know, I'm watching I'm being watchful

989
01:04:39.500 --> 01:04:41.940
But um, I'm gonna tell y'all about

990
01:04:41.940 --> 01:04:49.400
Two one of them is when I really had to discount so I've been getting some who say

991
01:04:49.920 --> 01:04:51.860
Okay, let's just email each other

992
01:04:53.260 --> 01:04:55.880
I'm like, I can't see I can't hear your voice

993
01:04:55.880 --> 01:04:59.980
I gotta hear something so I can you know, I got analyzed cuz I'm analyzing everything

994
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.360
And of course, I want to see your face.

995
01:05:01.460 --> 01:05:02.480
I'm like, I got to see your face.

996
01:05:02.760 --> 01:05:04.100
They send one picture.

997
01:05:04.200 --> 01:05:05.080
They have one picture.

998
01:05:05.260 --> 01:05:07.900
And I'm like, oh, I need more than one picture

999
01:05:07.900 --> 01:05:11.120
so I can say, I can read the pictures.

1000
01:05:11.740 --> 01:05:14.120
And then I have the ones who, like, they

1001
01:05:14.120 --> 01:05:15.600
don't want to do the phone call.

1002
01:05:16.680 --> 01:05:19.660
I had one that was, or when we get up to that

1003
01:05:19.660 --> 01:05:21.400
and then I start mentioning that, hey,

1004
01:05:21.460 --> 01:05:22.980
let's just change numbers because they

1005
01:05:22.980 --> 01:05:23.900
didn't exchange numbers.

1006
01:05:24.760 --> 01:05:26.840
So I had a couple on that.

1007
01:05:26.840 --> 01:05:31.360
Then I have one that wanted to talk on WhatsApp.

1008
01:05:31.900 --> 01:05:33.080
Now, he is from Atlanta.

1009
01:05:34.420 --> 01:05:37.320
So I'll tell you more about that one in just a second.

1010
01:05:37.520 --> 01:05:41.160
So we have been talking a little bit here a couple of days.

1011
01:05:41.460 --> 01:05:46.060
However, this one joker that we was doing good

1012
01:05:46.060 --> 01:05:49.100
and he was like, you know, I love your beautiful smile.

1013
01:05:49.100 --> 01:05:50.000
I love your pictures.

1014
01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:51.740
And he's talking to me and all that.

1015
01:05:51.900 --> 01:05:55.140
And then I hit him with, OK, your profile

1016
01:05:55.140 --> 01:05:57.540
says 400 miles away.

1017
01:05:58.620 --> 01:06:00.720
But your profile also, well, let me tell you

1018
01:06:00.720 --> 01:06:01.620
before I get to that.

1019
01:06:01.720 --> 01:06:03.440
Your profile, I've been seeing this.

1020
01:06:03.780 --> 01:06:06.940
The profile will say, like, you're 63.

1021
01:06:07.700 --> 01:06:11.280
But he says, you know, there was something happened.

1022
01:06:11.900 --> 01:06:15.700
And although my profile says 63, I'm actually 59.

1023
01:06:16.060 --> 01:06:18.580
So I'm going back to try to fix that.

1024
01:06:18.920 --> 01:06:21.160
So that was just a red flag to me all the way around.

1025
01:06:21.180 --> 01:06:23.380
But I saw several people saying that.

1026
01:06:23.380 --> 01:06:29.380
And so then when I saw the 400 miles and I'm in Atlanta,

1027
01:06:29.460 --> 01:06:30.600
I'm not slow.

1028
01:06:31.520 --> 01:06:34.760
He said 400 miles and then it said New York.

1029
01:06:35.300 --> 01:06:37.920
And so when I asked him, I say, question,

1030
01:06:38.200 --> 01:06:41.180
if I got in my car right now and drove 400 miles,

1031
01:06:41.920 --> 01:06:42.820
where would I end up?

1032
01:06:43.320 --> 01:06:45.900
And he was like, oh, that's a good question.

1033
01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:48.720
And so and I'm like, so where would I end up?

1034
01:06:48.720 --> 01:06:53.360
Because I know you don't get to New York in 400 miles.

1035
01:06:53.360 --> 01:06:55.720
Well, anyway, so we got to talking.

1036
01:06:55.800 --> 01:06:59.880
And then one day he said he told me he was a widower.

1037
01:07:00.640 --> 01:07:05.560
And just been it's been two years since the spouse died.

1038
01:07:05.620 --> 01:07:06.780
And I'm like, wow.

1039
01:07:06.780 --> 01:07:10.300
I mean, I know people bounce back at certain times, but two years.

1040
01:07:10.320 --> 01:07:12.080
I mean, but they do bounce back.

1041
01:07:12.620 --> 01:07:16.000
But anyway, he say, well, I'm new to this app.

1042
01:07:16.340 --> 01:07:18.420
And my buddy told me about it.

1043
01:07:18.420 --> 01:07:19.640
That's how he met his wife.

1044
01:07:20.200 --> 01:07:22.600
So he told me I should try this.

1045
01:07:22.600 --> 01:07:23.900
And I said, OK.

1046
01:07:23.960 --> 01:07:26.580
He say, so I do want to ask you a question.

1047
01:07:27.200 --> 01:07:30.840
What have you been seeing when you're

1048
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:33.080
trying to connect with people?

1049
01:07:33.140 --> 01:07:34.660
How have that been going for you?

1050
01:07:34.920 --> 01:07:37.520
So I figured I'd throw in what he was looking for.

1051
01:07:37.620 --> 01:07:40.120
So I said, hey, I'm new to the app, too.

1052
01:07:40.700 --> 01:07:45.200
So I would like to conversate with you to see what you're finding, too.

1053
01:07:46.240 --> 01:07:50.560
So and I say, but listen, I just got off a shift

1054
01:07:50.560 --> 01:07:54.120
and I pretty much work out of my car.

1055
01:07:54.520 --> 01:07:56.100
So I'm in the car more than anything.

1056
01:07:56.180 --> 01:07:57.660
I got a mobile office in the car.

1057
01:07:58.080 --> 01:08:01.640
So we need to talk on the phone because I got a whole hour home.

1058
01:08:02.240 --> 01:08:06.400
And that will be good, I say, because I do better holding conversations.

1059
01:08:06.480 --> 01:08:07.680
I can hear the person's voice.

1060
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:09.500
And, you know, that's a lot.

1061
01:08:09.800 --> 01:08:12.560
He sent me this long message

1062
01:08:13.820 --> 01:08:16.020
about why we would talk.

1063
01:08:17.720 --> 01:08:21.420
On just email each other, I mean, you know, text, whatever we're doing,

1064
01:08:21.660 --> 01:08:23.700
the message when we're doing it that way.

1065
01:08:23.700 --> 01:08:28.720
Well, anyway, so he went as far as to tell me, well, on a 400 miles,

1066
01:08:29.100 --> 01:08:32.479
I'm actually not in New York, I'm in South Carolina.

1067
01:08:32.660 --> 01:08:36.779
I said, OK, so that kind of, you know, he say, and I'm here with my buddy,

1068
01:08:37.359 --> 01:08:42.080
the one who told me about the app with him and his wife.

1069
01:08:42.340 --> 01:08:43.920
And I'm going to be here for a while.

1070
01:08:43.920 --> 01:08:47.220
So he told me about the wife, what happened to the wife.

1071
01:08:47.420 --> 01:08:50.120
And then he told me he had a 15 year old son

1072
01:08:50.380 --> 01:08:52.359
and he was very interested in it.

1073
01:08:52.359 --> 01:08:55.040
And I'm like, well, but he started telling me all this stuff.

1074
01:08:55.279 --> 01:08:59.819
And then he told me that he worked in the UK.

1075
01:09:00.779 --> 01:09:03.080
He yeah, he works girl.

1076
01:09:03.800 --> 01:09:07.260
I don't want to just tell him off, but I did.

1077
01:09:07.319 --> 01:09:08.680
I just blessed and blocked.

1078
01:09:08.859 --> 01:09:12.380
I didn't even I wanted to answer so bad and say so.

1079
01:09:12.380 --> 01:09:13.899
But I didn't. I just went on.

1080
01:09:14.340 --> 01:09:16.580
And, you know, I didn't say you joke or I just went off.

1081
01:09:16.700 --> 01:09:19.180
It just got rid of him just like that.

1082
01:09:19.180 --> 01:09:21.939
And there's so many other ones were saying some things, too.

1083
01:09:22.160 --> 01:09:26.300
However, I got a still got one who emailed me and he sent me something today.

1084
01:09:26.399 --> 01:09:29.420
And he was like, well, I was looking to hear back from you.

1085
01:09:29.500 --> 01:09:32.939
No, no, no. That's not the one this because I do have a book

1086
01:09:32.939 --> 01:09:35.399
and I got to write them down because I'd be getting, you know,

1087
01:09:35.399 --> 01:09:36.800
I got to know what I'm talking to.

1088
01:09:37.040 --> 01:09:41.540
So I got to write it down so I can remember who I'm actually talking to.

1089
01:09:41.540 --> 01:09:44.439
Well, anyway, so another one, he sent me a message

1090
01:09:45.600 --> 01:09:49.500
and he sent another message today and was like, hey, I thought we'd probably

1091
01:09:49.500 --> 01:09:51.000
get a chance to talk on Sunday.

1092
01:09:51.200 --> 01:09:55.160
I mean, on Saturday, but we didn't give me a call when you have some time.

1093
01:09:55.400 --> 01:09:57.320
But I haven't done I haven't called him back yet.

1094
01:09:57.380 --> 01:09:59.900
It must have been something that I didn't really.

1095
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.300
life, but I would have talked to him just to kind of get a chance to see whatever he put on there,

1096
01:10:06.360 --> 01:10:11.100
we can, you know, he can kind of clear that up. Well, anyway, I started talking to one

1097
01:10:11.980 --> 01:10:19.140
and I say, I was thinking, you know, like he's maybe a little bit older than I would have wanted.

1098
01:10:19.400 --> 01:10:29.980
Well, not really wanted because I actually said between 59, cause you're going to be 60 at some

1099
01:10:29.980 --> 01:10:39.560
72 and he's 71 and he only had one picture. So I said something about that. I would like to,

1100
01:10:39.660 --> 01:10:43.780
you know, talk to you to get to know you, but I would like to see more pictures and all of that.

1101
01:10:43.820 --> 01:10:59.960
So he sent me some information on WhatsApp, the, some pictures on WhatsApp and he lives here in

1102
01:10:59.960 --> 01:11:06.840
but then he started, he called me on WhatsApp and we've been talking for a little bit,

1103
01:11:06.920 --> 01:11:12.140
just having a couple of conversations, talking about a few things. And, and I haven't had a

1104
01:11:12.140 --> 01:11:19.420
lot of time to talk because I just started a new job on Monday and I actually, I be getting in the

1105
01:11:19.420 --> 01:11:26.840
bed. I've been getting in a bed by nine so I can fall asleep by 10 because we're on zoom right now

1106
01:11:26.840 --> 01:11:34.040
because we're, I'm in orientation and I felt myself kind of nodding the other day. But so

1107
01:11:34.500 --> 01:11:38.400
he's, it's been, it's been nice to have all this and conversations with, and we have

1108
01:11:38.560 --> 01:11:43.520
some things in common. I was trying to figure out again, cause I'm always trying to analyze,

1109
01:11:43.700 --> 01:11:50.260
did I say what I actually do? But we had some things in common in that area and he's really

1110
01:11:50.260 --> 01:11:56.540
nice gentleman. Now he don't, now I am a talker and I know how half the tone, my talking down,

1111
01:11:57.220 --> 01:12:03.520
he don't talk that much, but he will talk. And I'm like, I need you to be talking to me. Like,

1112
01:12:03.520 --> 01:12:09.720
you know, he's got this nice voice and I love to hear the voice, but he will talk when he's quiet.

1113
01:12:09.900 --> 01:12:15.800
Let me get it all out. But so that's what I've been doing, you know, just

1114
01:12:17.280 --> 01:12:22.400
having conversations here and there. So we'll have another conversation because he said,

1115
01:12:22.420 --> 01:12:27.200
he said, is it okay if I call you, you know, again before the weekend, but I am going to

1116
01:12:27.200 --> 01:12:34.520
respect your time that you are, that you go to bed pretty early. Yeah.

1117
01:12:34.680 --> 01:12:39.540
Well, Vern, that's a good update. One thing about it, it's fun too, even though, I mean,

1118
01:12:39.540 --> 01:12:44.300
that's not ideal what you want, but you, you do talk to some people and it's good practice when

1119
01:12:44.300 --> 01:12:50.140
you can say, Oh no, I ain't got time for this. Like it's just a good practice of your boundaries.

1120
01:12:50.240 --> 01:12:54.940
A lot of times we see it as wasted time, but it's not wasted time. It's actually a good use of your

1121
01:12:55.160 --> 01:13:00.780
time. It's to determine, are you going to just allow somebody to shoot bull to you just so you

1122
01:13:00.780 --> 01:13:06.820
can have somebody to talk to? You going to keep texting forever just so you won't face things,

1123
01:13:06.920 --> 01:13:11.180
you know, like you need to be sharpened in these areas. And so I'm excited that the guy from

1124
01:13:11.260 --> 01:13:16.960
Atlanta is actually in Atlanta and that you can have a real date with him. Right. And that y'all

1125
01:13:16.960 --> 01:13:21.960
have talked on the phone. And so that's hopeful and I'm excited for you and Lord, we want to

1126
01:13:21.960 --> 01:13:28.360
beat him out with a stick of nuance. No, if there's a thing, beat him out with a stick,

1127
01:13:28.460 --> 01:13:32.740
but there's some old hardheaded joke with this line. You really do have to beat them with a stick.

1128
01:13:32.740 --> 01:13:39.680
You got to beat them off with a stick. I'm telling y'all. I'm looking to get married

1129
01:13:39.680 --> 01:13:46.920
and I have seen some jokers already. I had three jokers already through my life and yeah, no,

1130
01:13:47.200 --> 01:13:52.880
I cannot settle for that. So no, we won't be. So I got to just make sure that, you know,

1131
01:13:52.880 --> 01:13:58.300
I'm having a conversation so I can actually really get to see who they are. But I'll,

1132
01:13:58.820 --> 01:14:04.900
I'll let y'all know how this one go. Okay, good. Thanks for the update. All right. All right.

1133
01:14:04.900 --> 01:14:05.580
Nari.

1134
01:14:08.980 --> 01:14:15.460
Hi, Ebony. Okay, so I met somebody like,

1135
01:14:16.460 --> 01:14:20.820
last Monday, actually, I've met a couple people, both on,

1136
01:14:22.540 --> 01:14:30.900
on Holy, and both really solid, great Christian men, both in California, and I'm in Michigan.

1137
01:14:32.000 --> 01:14:39.620
And I've had one phone conversation with one and three conversations with another one,

1138
01:14:40.540 --> 01:14:47.940
like video connects. And I think what I love about it, and I feel really proud of is that like,

1139
01:14:49.060 --> 01:14:53.460
there are people so like, this one in particular that I'm really interested in, he's

1140
01:14:53.720 --> 01:14:59.760
Jay, he has a lot of the same things like Steve did. Yeah.

1141
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.240
that I was super hot for. But I'm noticing like this is so so

1142
01:15:06.240 --> 01:15:14.560
different. So he like has some of that vibe, but he's deep and

1143
01:15:14.560 --> 01:15:18.680
he has an incredible heart and I'm connecting we're connecting

1144
01:15:18.680 --> 01:15:24.100
like on a heart level instead of an ego level. And this is the

1145
01:15:24.100 --> 01:15:29.660
first time I feel like in my life where I have talked with a

1146
01:15:29.660 --> 01:15:35.320
man that like for dating, and it feels like a friendship instead

1147
01:15:35.320 --> 01:15:41.000
of like, because I had so many like wounds that I was always

1148
01:15:41.000 --> 01:15:46.900
looking for a man to take care of me. And, you know, just

1149
01:15:47.360 --> 01:15:53.340
provide. And so like, we're, and he's so funny. So like, we are

1150
01:15:53.340 --> 01:15:58.320
laughing hysterically on the calls. I just feel like I can

1151
01:15:59.040 --> 01:16:03.180
what he's bringing out of me is just like, I feel calm, I feel

1152
01:16:03.180 --> 01:16:09.280
grounded, I feel peaceful, I can be like I could, I could be a

1153
01:16:09.280 --> 01:16:12.840
complete dork on the call. Like I could, if I did something

1154
01:16:12.840 --> 01:16:18.700
completely goofy, I wouldn't worry about it. And I was so

1155
01:16:18.700 --> 01:16:23.120
feeling like I needed to put this, like perfect image up with

1156
01:16:23.230 --> 01:16:29.830
and like, just yeah, like, I think all of his questions were

1157
01:16:29.830 --> 01:16:34.870
more around, like, and Jay will share like, things he's done

1158
01:16:34.890 --> 01:16:41.570
accomplishments, but it's such a different way. That, like,

1159
01:16:41.870 --> 01:16:46.550
there's, he's just not like, he's just a very humble, he

1160
01:16:46.550 --> 01:16:51.750
laughs a lot, like we just laugh so much, like, just feel like a

1161
01:16:54.050 --> 01:16:57.610
like, he's got a spark, he's got that spark in his eye, like

1162
01:16:57.610 --> 01:17:05.370
Steve did. But this is just like, there's so much depth to

1163
01:17:05.370 --> 01:17:13.450
it. Like, so anyway, like, it's so different. But at the same

1164
01:17:13.450 --> 01:17:18.530
point in time, like my cortisol, which I've struggled with, like,

1165
01:17:18.530 --> 01:17:21.730
I had really bad adrenal fatigue, like, I think I'm like,

1166
01:17:21.730 --> 01:17:28.050
it feels a bit crashed out. Yeah. I'm just processing and

1167
01:17:28.050 --> 01:17:35.030
it looks so different. I mean, he's, I think he's, I think he's

1168
01:17:35.030 --> 01:17:41.270
probably successful, but he's not like, CFO or something, you

1169
01:17:41.270 --> 01:17:46.390
know, like, which is what I've always been so like, but he

1170
01:17:46.390 --> 01:17:55.530
just like, he's a friend. And I'm like, and I'm super

1171
01:17:55.530 --> 01:18:03.890
attracted to him. But it's a different attraction, Steve. I

1172
01:18:03.890 --> 01:18:10.550
don't feel like I have to get all fussed up about how I look

1173
01:18:10.550 --> 01:18:18.050
or. Yeah. Like, what do I do with myself? I think I feel

1174
01:18:17.950 --> 01:18:25.450
like, because of the cortisol thing. Yeah. I mean, I think

1175
01:18:25.450 --> 01:18:29.030
trust that that will come back down. But he's talking about

1176
01:18:29.030 --> 01:18:35.170
flying here to meet. Which is super exciting. And I said, I

1177
01:18:35.170 --> 01:18:37.930
would love that I would definitely love to meet sooner

1178
01:18:37.930 --> 01:18:44.650
than later. But would also like the opportunity to continue

1179
01:18:44.650 --> 01:18:48.010
these chats. Because there's I think a lot of compatibility

1180
01:18:48.010 --> 01:18:52.270
things, but we've already had like, the question of like, what

1181
01:18:52.270 --> 01:18:56.350
do you want in life? You know, he's 62. So it's like, what do

1182
01:18:56.350 --> 01:19:00.810
you still want in life? What are your dreams? What do you want in

1183
01:19:00.810 --> 01:19:06.330
this space? Like, we're both marriage minded. So that's

1184
01:19:06.330 --> 01:19:13.490
great. And he's, I love that he chose his work. It's always been

1185
01:19:13.490 --> 01:19:17.150
like image things for me. Like, it's always been men who had

1186
01:19:17.150 --> 01:19:23.650
these high level positions. And he was talking to me about his

1187
01:19:23.690 --> 01:19:26.590
position is like an administrator for a veterans

1188
01:19:26.650 --> 01:19:33.770
hospital. But he just loves serving people. And so it's

1189
01:19:33.770 --> 01:19:38.650
like his heart around it. I'm like, that's amazing. It wasn't

1190
01:19:38.650 --> 01:19:43.010
like, it wasn't like anything showy at all about it. He was

1191
01:19:43.010 --> 01:19:47.610
just like so connected to why he loved it and why he chose it.

1192
01:19:48.890 --> 01:19:51.930
And he's got a great relationship with his family

1193
01:19:53.130 --> 01:19:57.630
and his mom. He has a lot. He did lose a child back when he

1194
01:19:57.630 --> 01:19:59.190
was 17 years old.

1195
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.500
accident. So that's been, he's been single for five years. He

1196
01:20:05.500 --> 01:20:09.760
did marry, he was married for 34 years, and got married to her

1197
01:20:09.760 --> 01:20:15.700
because he got her pregnant. So and never really connected with

1198
01:20:15.700 --> 01:20:22.800
her. So anyway, he's Yeah, and then I think also, I would say I

1199
01:20:22.800 --> 01:20:26.920
think my cortisol thing is also on the thought because like, I

1200
01:20:26.920 --> 01:20:35.500
moved back home last March for a relationship. And I was out in

1201
01:20:35.500 --> 01:20:40.240
California for ministry school. And I think in my heart, I'm

1202
01:20:40.240 --> 01:20:45.020
glad that I moved home because I needed to come full circle. And

1203
01:20:45.020 --> 01:20:50.120
he's on the other side of the state. And that was a definite

1204
01:20:50.220 --> 01:20:52.600
like, there were so many beautiful things about that

1205
01:20:52.800 --> 01:20:57.260
relationship. But like, I heard God's voice. And it was like a

1206
01:20:57.260 --> 01:21:02.920
fear of the Lord moment, because I wasn't living right. And also

1207
01:21:03.440 --> 01:21:07.440
because it was, I still had things that needed to be healed.

1208
01:21:08.820 --> 01:21:14.900
And also, like, he wasn't Lord, Jesus wasn't Lord of his life.

1209
01:21:14.900 --> 01:21:21.980
He was a confirmed Catholic, but he he's he was honest. He said,

1210
01:21:21.980 --> 01:21:25.660
I don't know where I'm going to end up on that. And after being

1211
01:21:25.660 --> 01:21:30.080
in a relationship for two years, I took him at his word and the

1212
01:21:30.080 --> 01:21:36.120
Lord helped me to move on. It was a really painful thing. So I

1213
01:21:36.840 --> 01:21:40.980
don't know that I could move cross country again, but he is

1214
01:21:40.980 --> 01:21:43.880
wanting to be in California. But anyway, you know, these are just

1215
01:21:43.880 --> 01:21:49.760
like long term. Talk, we're just like, where are you going long

1216
01:21:49.760 --> 01:21:52.860
term sort of conversation. So my mindset in these spaces,

1217
01:21:53.340 --> 01:21:55.600
which I don't need to spend a lot of time in those spaces,

1218
01:21:55.600 --> 01:21:59.400
because I don't have, I have so little information at this time.

1219
01:21:59.460 --> 01:22:04.560
But it's where I don't feel I also don't feel like I have have

1220
01:22:04.560 --> 01:22:09.460
this, which I felt before. I'm just like, okay, this is

1221
01:22:09.460 --> 01:22:16.620
beautiful. I'm enjoying this. But I'm not like, like, I was so

1222
01:22:16.620 --> 01:22:25.320
like, so wanted Steve. And so this is such a big shift for me

1223
01:22:25.320 --> 01:22:29.600
of like, this is beautiful. It's healthy. I hope.

1224
01:22:31.240 --> 01:22:32.280
Sorry. Yeah.

1225
01:22:32.640 --> 01:22:37.560
Yeah. Anyway, so it just feels so much healthier. And like,

1226
01:22:37.860 --> 01:22:41.340
there's a lot of things that I that I want. Yeah.

1227
01:22:42.980 --> 01:22:44.760
Lauren, how long have you been normal?

1228
01:22:45.680 --> 01:22:50.980
Have I known him for? Oh, we've been talking only for a week.

1229
01:22:51.400 --> 01:22:57.600
And y'all have FaceTime? Yep. Okay. Um, well, this sounds

1230
01:22:57.960 --> 01:22:58.600
exciting.

1231
01:23:00.660 --> 01:23:02.640
It's exciting, but I'm not like,

1232
01:23:06.140 --> 01:23:12.840
yeah, like, I just got to a bit too high, I think on on Steve,

1233
01:23:12.840 --> 01:23:16.520
like, it was just such a, such a polar thing.

1234
01:23:17.020 --> 01:23:20.260
Yeah, well, we know when they look like a lumberjack there,

1235
01:23:20.280 --> 01:23:21.540
you need to stay away from.

1236
01:23:24.280 --> 01:23:30.960
Well, Jay Jay has a rugged, you know, he's like a soak out a

1237
01:23:30.960 --> 01:23:31.840
Southern California guy.

1238
01:23:32.440 --> 01:23:36.240
But you know, sometimes it's just at the time when things hit

1239
01:23:36.240 --> 01:23:39.860
us, what we're processing what we have going on what we want to

1240
01:23:39.860 --> 01:23:42.740
cling to what we have bored of what we're hungry for that

1241
01:23:42.740 --> 01:23:45.760
we're not taking care of. You know what I'm saying? There can

1242
01:23:45.760 --> 01:23:49.240
be openings at certain times in our life that allows us to cling

1243
01:23:49.240 --> 01:23:53.060
to things differently than we would at another moment. Um,

1244
01:23:53.400 --> 01:23:55.860
what you've been longing for, what you've been thinking about

1245
01:23:55.860 --> 01:23:59.480
what you it's so many moving parts, especially with a woman

1246
01:23:59.480 --> 01:24:01.900
and then you look back and like, why was I even acting or

1247
01:24:02.460 --> 01:24:06.560
behaving that way? Um, you know what I'm saying? Or that

1248
01:24:06.580 --> 01:24:10.500
process can that thing can come to process that out of you?

1249
01:24:10.500 --> 01:24:15.280
Yeah. So process that part out. So then now you get to this

1250
01:24:15.280 --> 01:24:19.080
place, you're like, okay, this feels good. And then you know,

1251
01:24:19.120 --> 01:24:24.480
that guy, Steve, he kind of tapped on those insecurities

1252
01:24:24.480 --> 01:24:27.800
that you had, it kind of sent you in a tailspin, because you

1253
01:24:27.800 --> 01:24:31.560
were trying to figure out what he's, you know, he was very

1254
01:24:31.600 --> 01:24:34.900
confusing. He did the hot and cold. And maybe for you, if

1255
01:24:34.900 --> 01:24:37.740
you're used to that pattern, you grab hold to it and went for it.

1256
01:24:38.620 --> 01:24:42.780
Yeah, hot and cold, that toxic pattern, like kind of drew you

1257
01:24:42.900 --> 01:24:46.720
in to try to get him. So you know, like I used to be because

1258
01:24:46.720 --> 01:24:49.440
I was a broken little girl, because the man, the first man

1259
01:24:49.440 --> 01:24:52.660
I ever loved broke my heart was my father. When I will meet a

1260
01:24:52.680 --> 01:24:56.000
man, I will pursue them to conquer them. Because every time

1261
01:24:56.000 --> 01:24:59.380
that happened to my little girl's heart, I want a father,

1262
01:24:59.460 --> 01:24:59.980
I want

1263
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.000
The man and so I was a winner of me, but it was from their broken little girl

1264
01:25:05.200 --> 01:25:11.040
And so if I you know, so I was more anxiously attached then and so anything to trigger that in me

1265
01:25:11.040 --> 01:25:13.240
It's like I'm gonna win you

1266
01:25:13.240 --> 01:25:20.460
Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna get you and it just switches over. So, you know, I wouldn't you just never know

1267
01:25:20.460 --> 01:25:27.540
What mold his toxicity put you in it or that you allowed yourself to operate in when it happened?

1268
01:25:28.100 --> 01:25:29.100
100%

1269
01:25:29.300 --> 01:25:33.100
Yeah, well, I'm excited for you. Keep us updated. This is fun

1270
01:25:34.360 --> 01:25:39.180
Coming out to see you. Yeah, when do you think is a

1271
01:25:39.740 --> 01:25:45.660
good time to I

1272
01:25:45.660 --> 01:25:47.800
Think he'd come next weekend if

1273
01:25:48.160 --> 01:25:51.820
He got plenty of money. I want to meet me a hospital administrator

1274
01:25:51.820 --> 01:25:56.680
I don't know how you meet these people with all the money, baby. I need to go to the app you won't

1275
01:25:58.880 --> 01:26:00.540
Hey, it's just only

1276
01:26:02.180 --> 01:26:09.340
I've been on hold. I ain't meet no hospital administrator. You've earned you met one bar. What about you pretty we

1277
01:26:19.480 --> 01:26:21.020
He dropped over

1278
01:26:22.640 --> 01:26:26.140
No around here, I don't need no uber drive in my life

1279
01:26:27.540 --> 01:26:29.980
That was a fancy thing

1280
01:26:31.260 --> 01:26:35.540
I'll talk about me and me and our foundation not y'all we have to drive on the side

1281
01:26:35.540 --> 01:26:38.420
There's one thing about my foundational stuff. Okay, lady

1282
01:26:39.660 --> 01:26:40.620
anyway, Laura

1283
01:26:40.620 --> 01:26:43.380
This man got plenty of money. He can fly down there tomorrow

1284
01:26:43.380 --> 01:26:46.280
What different do it make just go have a cup of coffee with him?

1285
01:26:46.300 --> 01:26:53.160
It ain't gonna cause him nothing but seriously if he stayed in the same area we he was gonna come on a bigger person

1286
01:26:53.160 --> 01:26:57.760
He was gonna come for a weekend and get a he was gonna come for a weekend

1287
01:26:58.860 --> 01:27:06.020
You know when you're 62 they change you ain't like the young people you can go in for a weekend and meet a person and

1288
01:27:06.040 --> 01:27:12.460
Sometimes which is nothing wrong with you guys a meeting sooner than later. And then I want to add this and then I'm

1289
01:27:13.500 --> 01:27:17.880
Mosey alone, but me and like to know if they are serious

1290
01:27:17.880 --> 01:27:23.700
That this is something I want to invest in because usually they invest more financially

1291
01:27:24.800 --> 01:27:30.360
Than women do and so it's always an investment. So sometimes you'll see me like, okay, what we're gonna do

1292
01:27:31.900 --> 01:27:36.580
Just like the guy Aubrey was dating he said I'm not gonna make this type of investment

1293
01:27:36.620 --> 01:27:40.480
We live in two different states every time they see each other. They have to take a flight

1294
01:27:41.440 --> 01:27:46.840
They do this once a month. You're much much money. They've spent over six months in flight

1295
01:27:46.840 --> 01:27:53.240
That's what I did cuz this last relationship was long-distance and yeah, we saw each other every month

1296
01:27:53.800 --> 01:27:57.240
It's so yeah before I get these emotional time. We're just gonna meet

1297
01:27:57.800 --> 01:28:01.120
Yeah, see if it's something we want and that could be just what he's saying

1298
01:28:01.160 --> 01:28:08.300
Just gonna meet and see if there's something that I want to do. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so let us know how it goes

1299
01:28:09.020 --> 01:28:11.000
All right. All right

1300
01:28:11.140 --> 01:28:13.780
Okay. Okay. Here we come pre-t

1301
01:28:13.780 --> 01:28:14.460
Oh

1302
01:28:16.780 --> 01:28:19.520
And Pamela and why pretty is coming on

1303
01:28:19.920 --> 01:28:22.480
Pamela you asked a question in the chat in phase two

1304
01:28:22.480 --> 01:28:25.240
Do we just date and then date a little while didn't go to phase three?

1305
01:28:25.780 --> 01:28:30.440
So I deal is set up will you stay in phase two for about five to six weeks?

1306
01:28:31.440 --> 01:28:38.340
yeah, and on one of your first accelerator call of teaching Jackie gives a issues a

1307
01:28:39.060 --> 01:28:39.580
While

1308
01:28:41.580 --> 01:28:47.320
I'm talking. Are you still on the line of person? I'm talking to was it Pam Pamela. Did you post it?

1309
01:28:48.300 --> 01:28:49.120
Yes, okay

1310
01:28:49.120 --> 01:28:54.220
She posts a challenge and gives you guys a seven-day challenge, which you don't have to meet this challenge

1311
01:28:54.220 --> 01:28:56.900
But it's just a challenge to go on seven days the way

1312
01:28:57.420 --> 01:29:04.440
The logic behind the program and the way that is designed that as you date you get to date for discovery to learn about

1313
01:29:05.400 --> 01:29:06.440
yourself and

1314
01:29:07.040 --> 01:29:09.720
Heal things and see perspective growing capacity

1315
01:29:09.720 --> 01:29:14.640
And so the more you date the more you see because dating in a romantic situation

1316
01:29:14.640 --> 01:29:20.460
Pull something out of you that other relationships just don't pull out of you. You go into protective mode, baby

1317
01:29:20.460 --> 01:29:24.280
You won't take nails and nail stuff up anything to guard your heart

1318
01:29:24.320 --> 01:29:28.960
And so that's what phase two is about and then at any time four or five

1319
01:29:29.500 --> 01:29:32.960
Weeks if you want to transition to phase three, you're always welcome to do that

1320
01:29:32.960 --> 01:29:37.840
Email to admin tell them you're ready to move face three and then you go to face three

1321
01:29:37.840 --> 01:29:41.820
But we do ask that you do try to date come on to the sessions

1322
01:29:42.900 --> 01:29:48.120
Get you know get all of this when you get to phase three is absolutely amazing. The community is much bigger

1323
01:29:48.120 --> 01:29:54.760
And so it's not as you know, Chloe, you know quaint. It's just much bigger. And so yeah, that's how it works

1324
01:29:54.760 --> 01:29:59.980
And then Leah we go on to you next pretty and Leah I did send you a message and I told

1325
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.260
that I thought you were very beautiful and I just wanted you to know that.

1326
01:30:03.640 --> 01:30:07.420
And so I wasn't sure if you saw my message, Leah, but I wanted to tell you that. Okay.

1327
01:30:08.040 --> 01:30:14.480
All right. You saw it, Leah? No? Yeah. Okay. Preeti?

1328
01:30:14.920 --> 01:30:18.900
So, Ebony, I have one very practical question for you. But before that, two things.

1329
01:30:19.460 --> 01:30:25.720
You said something to someone last week about asking God to restore

1330
01:30:26.900 --> 01:30:33.240
the value of man in life. And I just wanted to let you know that that's been really powerful

1331
01:30:33.240 --> 01:30:39.600
for me. Just because growing up, my dad got really sick when I was really young,

1332
01:30:39.700 --> 01:30:45.220
and my brother's kind of not been too much in my life. And so I do feel that I have lacked

1333
01:30:46.160 --> 01:30:52.660
godly men in my life, or just even men role models. And so, I mean, brothers from church

1334
01:30:52.660 --> 01:30:58.780
have been filling up this role for so many years. But, you know, like, that's been really helpful,

1335
01:30:58.880 --> 01:31:04.700
because sometimes I know that, you know, God will bring men in my life just to kind of have that

1336
01:31:04.540 --> 01:31:10.680
role. And they may not be like my husband. So, like, that was really, like, very helpful to

1337
01:31:10.780 --> 01:31:16.640
process emotions of, like, why sometimes people just come and go, right? So thank you for that.

1338
01:31:16.640 --> 01:31:22.900
And even, like, today's wisdom around, like, the good, better, and best was very helpful. Because

1339
01:31:22.900 --> 01:31:28.180
sometimes, you know, like, I've cried over, like, guys who I thought were, like, really good. And then,

1340
01:31:28.440 --> 01:31:33.520
you know, I just watched something today where, like, the God, I mean, where the Lord challenged

1341
01:31:33.520 --> 01:31:39.880
me that, like, you can have anything you want. Like, are you, like, why are you crying about

1342
01:31:39.880 --> 01:31:44.800
something? Like, not in the context of dating, in something else. But, like, that was really

1343
01:31:44.800 --> 01:31:50.100
helpful. So thank you. Thank you for your wise words. I'm very, very grateful for this time.

1344
01:31:50.460 --> 01:31:55.480
My quick question to you is, so I'm not having too much success with online dating, because, like,

1345
01:31:55.480 --> 01:31:59.480
the moment I feel like I'm having great chats, and people are like, oh, would you like to meet? And

1346
01:31:59.480 --> 01:32:05.600
I'm like, yes, let's meet. And then they go, like, quiet. And I'm kind of tired. So what I've been

1347
01:32:05.600 --> 01:32:10.840
doing is I've been telling my friends to set up, set me up with people. And, like, I can tell you,

1348
01:32:10.840 --> 01:32:15.640
my girlfriends have taken this really seriously. Like, people are on it, you know, like, so

1349
01:32:15.640 --> 01:32:20.940
people introduce me to, like, random people. And I've just been obedient, not random, like,

1350
01:32:20.960 --> 01:32:26.040
somebody they know. And I've been obedient and, like, trying to follow up, right? So

1351
01:32:26.180 --> 01:32:32.900
one such person lives, so I'm on the East Coast, and one person lives on the West Coast. And, like,

1352
01:32:33.200 --> 01:32:37.360
I'm not really attracted to him or anything, but, like, I'm discovery mode, right? Like,

1353
01:32:37.360 --> 01:32:45.120
my seven day challenge. And so the thing is that he makes it sound like he is seeking a

1354
01:32:45.120 --> 01:32:51.740
relationship, but he also has a busy job. And he's kind of blaming it on, like, the time difference,

1355
01:32:51.740 --> 01:32:58.560
because he's been giving me, like, one hour as an option to have a phone chat, like, between seven

1356
01:32:58.560 --> 01:33:04.100
days. So, like, he'll give me one random time on a Saturday, or one random time on a Sunday,

1357
01:33:04.100 --> 01:33:09.240
after, like, one whole week of, like, not being available. And, you know, like, I have friends

1358
01:33:09.240 --> 01:33:14.380
all over the world with different time zones. Like, I know how to work time zones, right? Like,

1359
01:33:14.380 --> 01:33:20.920
that's my superpower. Anyway, I'm kind of getting, like, I want to tell him, dude, like,

1360
01:33:20.920 --> 01:33:24.880
let's connect when you have more than, like, because even when we give a professional appointment,

1361
01:33:25.240 --> 01:33:29.900
like, we give people three times, like, hey, are you available here, here, or here?

1362
01:33:29.900 --> 01:33:37.900
Not, like, one appointment in seven days. So I want to, like, you know, my regular, like,

1363
01:33:38.220 --> 01:33:43.260
call it what it is, Preeti will be like, hey, dude, like, let's connect when you have more

1364
01:33:43.260 --> 01:33:50.580
time. But I want to do it agently, if that's your approach, or if you think I should try and

1365
01:33:50.640 --> 01:33:57.180
compromise and, like, meet him where he's asking me to meet, like, I just wanted advice on what

1366
01:33:57.180 --> 01:34:02.020
my approach should be. Because, like, I was kind of just wanting to tell him, like, this is not

1367
01:34:02.020 --> 01:34:07.760
working out for me. Like, if you give me, like, an hour time as an option to meet in between seven

1368
01:34:07.760 --> 01:34:14.860
days, like, you need to make more time. Yeah, I think that if you want to get to know him,

1369
01:34:14.980 --> 01:34:24.500
you can voice to him that your idea of getting to know someone doesn't happen with one hour

1370
01:34:24.500 --> 01:34:32.540
in seven days, the seven day span, and you understand if that's all he's available, but that

1371
01:34:32.580 --> 01:34:38.500
a level of availability is not going to work for you. Okay, yeah, that's that's much more kinder

1372
01:34:38.500 --> 01:34:43.820
way of saying it. Yeah. So that doesn't work well for you. And so you understand this is not the

1373
01:34:43.820 --> 01:34:49.060
best time in his life meeting people. And that could just be what it is. And it cannot be a good

1374
01:34:49.060 --> 01:34:56.200
time. And if he's like, oh, what type of time did you have in mind? Yeah, I've given him my option.

1375
01:34:56.320 --> 01:34:59.980
Like, I have told him I'm available most days between six.

1376
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.980
p.m and 9 p.m eastern right and more times on the weekend so like i've given him like a pretty big

1377
01:35:07.980 --> 01:35:14.180
range of availability right so so you can you know reiterate or what do you want to say like hey i'm

1378
01:35:14.180 --> 01:35:22.180
clearly way more available than you are however one day out of seven days just doesn't and one

1379
01:35:22.180 --> 01:35:29.220
hour like that particular hour yeah it doesn't serve best for me where i am in life okay in my

1380
01:35:29.220 --> 01:35:34.620
availability seems not to serve best for where you are in life okay thank you that's super helpful

1381
01:35:34.620 --> 01:35:38.880
yeah and then tell them and ask them is this something that you agree to is this what you

1382
01:35:38.880 --> 01:35:42.620
agree with what i'm saying if he says yes then well great thank you so much for taking time

1383
01:35:42.820 --> 01:35:49.080
for us to get to know each other okay yeah sounds good thank you you're welcome i like how your

1384
01:35:49.080 --> 01:35:52.780
friends are setting you up all my friends want me to set them up they don't know nobody and they

1385
01:35:52.780 --> 01:35:58.560
telling me oh you don't know nobody i'm like what kind of world we live in yeah i mean my friends

1386
01:35:58.560 --> 01:36:04.600
have spoken to their co-workers and co-workers are speaking to their neighbors so like you know

1387
01:36:04.660 --> 01:36:10.840
i'll be famous in my city of 1 million but some like everybody's trying to find a husband for

1388
01:36:10.840 --> 01:36:16.980
pretty you know oh no come on network network yes yes joanne

1389
01:36:19.780 --> 01:36:29.440
hi hey yes so quick update is that um i am going i did give the guy a chance his name is tony he was

1390
01:36:29.440 --> 01:36:36.360
so happy and i actually organically ended up sharing how i felt like without being confrontational

1391
01:36:36.360 --> 01:36:41.180
because we ended up talking about so many things i told him how i felt like he's being chatty bt

1392
01:36:41.180 --> 01:36:48.220
and he's like oh i'm so sorry that's awful so um we had a good talk so we'll meet up this sunday

1393
01:36:48.220 --> 01:36:55.240
for like kayaking and um but what i wanted to discuss is like a guy i just did a video call

1394
01:36:55.240 --> 01:37:07.680
on holy yesterday and today we were like basically on the video call um he was talking a lot

1395
01:37:08.240 --> 01:37:12.140
and then he would ask i'd be like well do you have any questions for me and he would ask a

1396
01:37:12.140 --> 01:37:17.860
question but then you get so excited and like interject and hijack the conversation and he

1397
01:37:17.860 --> 01:37:22.020
had told me at the end of the conversation joanne i just want you to communicate with me

1398
01:37:22.100 --> 01:37:29.140
i want you to feel like you can tell me how i feel i mean how you feel you know i want you to be open

1399
01:37:29.140 --> 01:37:36.760
and so this morning he had texted me and then um i told him how i felt and i said yeah i i want he's

1400
01:37:36.760 --> 01:37:42.040
like i wasn't sure if i was came off you know like it was too much for you you weren't interested

1401
01:37:42.040 --> 01:37:47.640
i said no i still want you to come visit me i still like get want to get to know you but like

1402
01:37:47.640 --> 01:37:55.400
i said i've told him this a couple times i want more like reciprocal conversation like i i need

1403
01:37:55.400 --> 01:38:00.280
space to share without interrupting and i think that's how you get to you'll get to know me more

1404
01:38:00.540 --> 01:38:06.360
and he felt he said he felt so bad and so i called him i was like you don't need to feel bad and

1405
01:38:06.760 --> 01:38:15.020
it's okay and then he was like oh no i can't see your face um and so so oh no it's fine it's my

1406
01:38:15.140 --> 01:38:23.880
zoom and then so long story short we ended up texting a lot and uh we were no i got on the phone

1407
01:38:23.880 --> 01:38:31.520
and i started sharing with him how i felt like i just like i appreciate this you know wait wait

1408
01:38:31.520 --> 01:38:35.780
well yeah i did we talked about that conversation like the back and forth and he was totally

1409
01:38:36.240 --> 01:38:42.140
respectful and then he was sharing he just over shares a lot he's like sure it's like what he

1410
01:38:42.140 --> 01:38:49.100
shared with me like in the first video to even today was like what people share within like

1411
01:38:49.100 --> 01:38:56.540
at least one month of dating you know and and then like i shared something that i had a concern he

1412
01:38:56.540 --> 01:39:04.160
said i'm to myself i don't really have a lot of friends i'm just like to myself you know and i

1413
01:39:04.160 --> 01:39:12.280
said well i i don't that's not i i can't i don't date guys unless they have healthy community and

1414
01:39:12.280 --> 01:39:18.840
and he and then he ended up hanging up the phone on me and then he he hung up the phone i thought

1415
01:39:18.840 --> 01:39:23.940
it was like a disconnection like oh what happened like the phone dropped he's like i just feel

1416
01:39:23.940 --> 01:39:31.040
terrible about myself i feel like you're like you basically i've turned like you decided you

1417
01:39:31.040 --> 01:39:38.180
don't think this is gonna work and he basically told me he really likes me like really likes me

1418
01:39:38.180 --> 01:39:46.700
and he thinks i'm like the best thing he's ever met in his life and so he's was freaked out like

1419
01:39:46.700 --> 01:39:52.300
he met this woman that he never thought like he could ever meet and he feels like he just

1420
01:39:52.300 --> 01:39:59.820
couldn't handle the rejection so he hung up on me and then i we were texting and he's like

1421
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.260
I think you just, you're worthy so much more.

1422
01:40:02.460 --> 01:40:04.440
I think you should just be with another guy

1423
01:40:04.440 --> 01:40:07.740
who doesn't have as much trauma and has a better family.

1424
01:40:08.440 --> 01:40:10.580
And I was just feeling so bad too.

1425
01:40:10.640 --> 01:40:12.440
I'm like, am I being codependent right now?

1426
01:40:12.600 --> 01:40:16.780
Because I'm like, he's like, okay, I wish you the best.

1427
01:40:17.040 --> 01:40:20.220
I just, and I was like,

1428
01:40:20.220 --> 01:40:21.680
I just encourage you to have good community

1429
01:40:21.680 --> 01:40:24.440
because I really feel like that makes healthy relationship

1430
01:40:24.440 --> 01:40:26.060
that I've learned from my past mistakes.

1431
01:40:26.440 --> 01:40:28.000
Like when I didn't have healthy community,

1432
01:40:28.000 --> 01:40:31.140
that person didn't have healthy community, it's bad.

1433
01:40:31.440 --> 01:40:33.460
And he's like, okay, well, you know,

1434
01:40:33.460 --> 01:40:35.420
he was just trying to say, I understand.

1435
01:40:36.480 --> 01:40:38.040
And, you know, I would do this for you,

1436
01:40:38.060 --> 01:40:40.200
but it seems like you don't want this.

1437
01:40:40.220 --> 01:40:41.860
And then he was like, goodbye.

1438
01:40:41.960 --> 01:40:43.460
And I started crying.

1439
01:40:44.280 --> 01:40:46.380
I was like, what is going on?

1440
01:40:46.620 --> 01:40:47.960
Why am I crying?

1441
01:40:48.440 --> 01:40:52.040
Like what is, I know, I'm a total feeler.

1442
01:40:52.060 --> 01:40:53.780
So I'm like, am I having compassion?

1443
01:40:54.020 --> 01:40:54.840
Am I being codependent?

1444
01:40:55.000 --> 01:40:56.000
What is this?

1445
01:40:56.000 --> 01:40:57.760
Am I reliving some trauma?

1446
01:40:58.300 --> 01:41:00.520
And then he was like, goodbye, I love you.

1447
01:41:00.520 --> 01:41:02.820
And I was like, I love you?

1448
01:41:03.120 --> 01:41:04.500
What is going on?

1449
01:41:04.900 --> 01:41:05.980
Yes, I know.

1450
01:41:06.020 --> 01:41:07.860
And I don't even know how we got on the phone.

1451
01:41:08.200 --> 01:41:11.020
We got on the phone again and we talked it out.

1452
01:41:11.020 --> 01:41:13.040
And then we laughed about it, the whole thing.

1453
01:41:13.460 --> 01:41:15.240
And he was just like, I never,

1454
01:41:15.400 --> 01:41:18.080
I want to like talk to you and be with you, Joanne.

1455
01:41:18.160 --> 01:41:19.880
It's just that I was saying goodbye

1456
01:41:20.060 --> 01:41:23.100
because I could tell you wanted to be like, this isn't,

1457
01:41:23.220 --> 01:41:24.220
I'm not measuring up.

1458
01:41:24.220 --> 01:41:26.800
And I couldn't handle like meeting this ideal,

1459
01:41:27.140 --> 01:41:28.220
perfect woman and being like,

1460
01:41:28.220 --> 01:41:30.260
no, you don't meet up to my standards.

1461
01:41:30.820 --> 01:41:33.740
So anyways, I'm like, is this red flags?

1462
01:41:34.140 --> 01:41:35.240
Is this red flags?

1463
01:41:35.980 --> 01:41:37.540
Is this red flags on the guy?

1464
01:41:37.860 --> 01:41:39.940
It's a red flag party, baby.

1465
01:41:40.780 --> 01:41:44.160
So yeah, yeah, that's very unhealthy, Joanne.

1466
01:41:44.920 --> 01:41:47.660
And that's very unhealthy.

1467
01:41:50.120 --> 01:41:52.980
And yeah, that's very unhealthy.

1468
01:41:52.980 --> 01:41:57.380
That's very unhealthy behavior and he needs counseling.

1469
01:41:59.180 --> 01:42:02.400
Okay, and so he does, you can't help him

1470
01:42:02.400 --> 01:42:05.460
and that's not the position that you want to be in.

1471
01:42:05.640 --> 01:42:06.860
So I'm gonna give you an example.

1472
01:42:07.060 --> 01:42:11.280
When he says to you, oh, he hung up on you

1473
01:42:11.280 --> 01:42:14.440
because I just feel so horrible that I just can't be,

1474
01:42:14.480 --> 01:42:17.400
you can say, okay, all right, thanks for letting me know.

1475
01:42:18.360 --> 01:42:21.200
But what happens is you respond and try to console him.

1476
01:42:21.260 --> 01:42:22.080
It's okay.

1477
01:42:22.080 --> 01:42:25.940
No, see, don't, no, don't beat yourself up.

1478
01:42:26.200 --> 01:42:26.940
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

1479
01:42:26.940 --> 01:42:28.480
This is a grown man.

1480
01:42:31.240 --> 01:42:32.920
He's not a little boy.

1481
01:42:33.260 --> 01:42:34.580
He's not your son.

1482
01:42:35.500 --> 01:42:37.180
He's an adult man.

1483
01:42:37.920 --> 01:42:38.960
How old is he?

1484
01:42:40.200 --> 01:42:40.820
He's 41.

1485
01:42:41.660 --> 01:42:43.220
There's a grown man.

1486
01:42:44.820 --> 01:42:47.020
And then so you take on the position of a mama

1487
01:42:47.660 --> 01:42:50.300
and coddle him.

1488
01:42:51.240 --> 01:42:54.220
Because he hangs up on you and beats himself up

1489
01:42:54.220 --> 01:42:55.500
when you call him back.

1490
01:42:55.920 --> 01:42:59.220
So he's dishonorable to you, just hangs up on you.

1491
01:43:01.200 --> 01:43:03.240
Basically, then you call him.

1492
01:43:03.460 --> 01:43:04.760
No, I didn't end up calling him.

1493
01:43:04.840 --> 01:43:06.980
He actually tried to call me like several times.

1494
01:43:07.200 --> 01:43:09.680
Well, when he called you, he tells you,

1495
01:43:09.720 --> 01:43:10.900
yeah, how stupid he is.

1496
01:43:11.080 --> 01:43:12.040
He beats himself up.

1497
01:43:12.180 --> 01:43:14.020
And da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

1498
01:43:14.020 --> 01:43:15.400
And he's like, I'm really sorry.

1499
01:43:15.480 --> 01:43:16.180
I won't do it again.

1500
01:43:16.200 --> 01:43:17.820
I was like, I hate hangups.

1501
01:43:18.420 --> 01:43:21.340
And he's like, I won't, I promise I won't.

1502
01:43:21.340 --> 01:43:24.340
Yeah, but the problem is that it's this constant,

1503
01:43:24.500 --> 01:43:26.380
his world is to please Joanne.

1504
01:43:26.760 --> 01:43:27.480
I know.

1505
01:43:28.080 --> 01:43:31.880
Now, I want you to know it's like now you're doing it

1506
01:43:31.880 --> 01:43:32.960
because you're talking to him.

1507
01:43:32.960 --> 01:43:34.380
But I want you to imagine what it would be like

1508
01:43:34.380 --> 01:43:35.880
to have a husband like that.

1509
01:43:37.120 --> 01:43:38.780
I want you to imagine what it's gonna be like

1510
01:43:38.780 --> 01:43:40.760
to have a husband when a decision needs to be made

1511
01:43:40.760 --> 01:43:42.720
and he makes the wrong one and he goes into

1512
01:43:43.040 --> 01:43:45.580
a little, like a little baby.

1513
01:43:45.580 --> 01:43:46.960
And then you gotta coddle him

1514
01:43:46.960 --> 01:43:48.600
and live with the mess he's made.

1515
01:43:49.920 --> 01:43:51.760
Because it ain't gonna be cute no more

1516
01:43:52.640 --> 01:43:56.460
when you have a boy that's supposed to show up as a husband.

1517
01:43:57.040 --> 01:43:59.340
And so this pattern that he has,

1518
01:44:00.380 --> 01:44:03.220
this always, this is a constant pattern with him, Joanne.

1519
01:44:03.340 --> 01:44:06.080
And it is a red flag and it's very unhealthy.

1520
01:44:06.400 --> 01:44:09.240
And I don't encourage you to try to fix him,

1521
01:44:09.540 --> 01:44:11.020
to tell him he needs community,

1522
01:44:11.140 --> 01:44:12.500
to tell him he needs that.

1523
01:44:12.560 --> 01:44:14.460
And he needs to be this for Joanne.

1524
01:44:14.460 --> 01:44:16.780
And Joanne needs this and Joanne needs that.

1525
01:44:17.160 --> 01:44:18.300
And this is the life Joanne wants,

1526
01:44:18.500 --> 01:44:20.220
so you be that for Joanne.

1527
01:44:20.320 --> 01:44:21.980
Because if you keep talking to him,

1528
01:44:22.020 --> 01:44:23.140
you're sending a message that,

1529
01:44:23.380 --> 01:44:25.140
okay, now you rise up to the occasion.

1530
01:44:25.520 --> 01:44:27.960
And he's like, I just keep messing up.

1531
01:44:28.300 --> 01:44:29.800
I talked too much, didn't I?

1532
01:44:29.920 --> 01:44:32.460
Oh no, I'm not enough to measure up for one.

1533
01:44:32.980 --> 01:44:36.080
Oh hell, Joanne, queen of the world.

1534
01:44:37.920 --> 01:44:42.340
You're a person that is just as flawed as he is.

1535
01:44:42.340 --> 01:44:43.480
He just can't do that.

1536
01:44:44.320 --> 01:44:48.160
But that's the point is this, he has this,

1537
01:44:51.200 --> 01:44:52.960
you don't, you shouldn't,

1538
01:44:54.340 --> 01:44:56.280
you don't have to tell another adult

1539
01:44:56.280 --> 01:44:57.420
that another person is flawed.

1540
01:44:57.480 --> 01:44:59.980
They've lived long enough to know that people carry flaws.

1541
01:45:01.600 --> 01:45:06.920
Does that make sense and so there's this like, you know, you don't have to assure him that you have flaws

1542
01:45:08.480 --> 01:45:12.360
Anybody who's had the forgiveness of Christ knows that we all come with something, you know

1543
01:45:12.360 --> 01:45:18.160
So it's a level when we don't recognize that somebody else could have issues too is just because we haven't you know

1544
01:45:18.160 --> 01:45:21.880
Maybe gotten help from my own but that's not the world road. I want to go down

1545
01:45:21.960 --> 01:45:26.800
There's a blinder in the way that he processes things is what I'm saying

1546
01:45:26.800 --> 01:45:33.260
That he doesn't see you as a person and that he keeps putting you on a pedestal sure you may be a wonderful woman

1547
01:45:33.300 --> 01:45:35.280
But he doesn't know you

1548
01:45:36.880 --> 01:45:37.400
Everybody

1549
01:45:38.120 --> 01:45:45.620
Everybody comes with something that needs to be cultivated and I believe that anytime a man believes that he's not worthy of you

1550
01:45:46.660 --> 01:45:53.020
That he doesn't understand your value. He'll never know how to treat you. Well because he doesn't even believe he deserves you

1551
01:45:54.620 --> 01:45:59.460
So what chance we ever have it getting it right he doesn't believe he deserve you

1552
01:46:00.020 --> 01:46:00.600
Yeah

1553
01:46:01.600 --> 01:46:08.960
Right. And so that is a problem and I think it's very unhealthy to consider continue conversing with this young man

1554
01:46:09.040 --> 01:46:13.180
And being some type of rescuer for his emotional

1555
01:46:14.080 --> 01:46:16.620
roller coasters all the time

1556
01:46:16.620 --> 01:46:23.900
I was thinking too. I was like, this doesn't seem healthy, but I'm like, why am I being drawn? Is this my mom stuff?

1557
01:46:24.300 --> 01:46:28.600
What is going on? What is happening? Why am I getting so well?

1558
01:46:29.520 --> 01:46:33.080
It's okay. It's just a thing, you know, like it's just like, you know

1559
01:46:33.080 --> 01:46:36.580
Have you ever talked to somebody and you were for sure you didn't want them and

1560
01:46:37.540 --> 01:46:42.560
Then when y'all broke it out you walk by and they didn't even look at you. He's like, wait a minute. You stopped wanting me

1561
01:46:43.490 --> 01:46:49.650
Let me see if I say someone you won't be again who's ever experienced it like the person you didn't want

1562
01:46:49.650 --> 01:46:55.350
They said you broke it out. Then all of a sudden they didn't act the same way like they wanted you so bad no more

1563
01:46:56.250 --> 01:47:01.610
You don't want me. I bet you won't me. You don't want them to want you again

1564
01:47:01.930 --> 01:47:05.930
I'm just saying like this. That's the thing. So yeah, I don't want you to be

1565
01:47:06.530 --> 01:47:11.810
What is that? Is that like am I being an emotional hoarder? Like it's

1566
01:47:12.830 --> 01:47:16.710
This man is talking to you like you to Queen of England, baby

1567
01:47:16.710 --> 01:47:22.650
Yes, why you like talking to her and he's like I will drive now to come see you for like

1568
01:47:22.930 --> 01:47:28.010
Drive six and a half hours. You tell me what day what time I'll come I'm like

1569
01:47:28.250 --> 01:47:35.990
Really? Oh, that's too intense. That's too much man. Yeah, I'm just I'm a concern and so

1570
01:47:37.470 --> 01:47:43.730
Yeah, send him to the man's community to do some inner work since he'll do anything for you you can tell him about 18

1571
01:47:44.250 --> 01:47:46.550
1812 I think this the means community

1572
01:47:46.550 --> 01:47:52.730
But you told me not to not to refer not to fix not to help you once they're talking to

1573
01:47:53.710 --> 01:47:59.030
So I should just say I'm sorry, bro. I can't I I don't I think we need a part ways

1574
01:47:59.390 --> 01:48:01.710
Are you comfortable with talking to him?

1575
01:48:01.710 --> 01:48:05.030
Do you see that this is an issue like it keep popping up to you

1576
01:48:05.030 --> 01:48:12.470
There's something it feels needy like even now he's like texting blowing up my phone. I'm like, this is way too much

1577
01:48:12.770 --> 01:48:20.790
Yeah, how about you say? Hey, I understand that you feel certain way about me and I hear I hear you

1578
01:48:21.330 --> 01:48:25.770
But I need you to hear me that this is not gonna work well for me

1579
01:48:27.910 --> 01:48:29.470
And this thing

1580
01:48:31.430 --> 01:48:38.630
Is since he already believed that he won't work no way it ain't gonna be too far from the bottom when you tell him

1581
01:48:38.630 --> 01:48:44.790
Well, he still wants to make it work. But regardless it's not good for me. I don't think it's healthy. It's so unstable

1582
01:48:44.910 --> 01:48:51.350
I'm like, oh my gosh, what's going on? I don't I'm not I'm not an unstable person. This make me unstable

1583
01:48:52.230 --> 01:48:57.710
Well, he's not making you unstable. He's causing you to set boundaries and make decisions to show your stability

1584
01:48:58.510 --> 01:49:05.610
So it's not a matter of you're not being you being unstable you have to show your stability by saying hey, this is not healthy

1585
01:49:07.110 --> 01:49:08.210
and so

1586
01:49:08.690 --> 01:49:10.670
We're not best suited for each other

1587
01:49:14.430 --> 01:49:27.690
Okay, man, I really don't like saying those things but I have to it's so hard to say

1588
01:49:27.690 --> 01:49:30.970
And they set boundaries and they're not always easy and

1589
01:49:31.690 --> 01:49:36.850
That's why these type of relationships or friendships of people you meet serve you so well

1590
01:49:37.210 --> 01:49:39.710
Because you get to do the hard things

1591
01:49:40.130 --> 01:49:42.710
Life is full of hard things that none of us want to do

1592
01:49:43.870 --> 01:49:49.050
But at some point it calls for it. And so you have to make a decision

1593
01:49:50.390 --> 01:49:56.710
Are you willing to pay the cost that is gonna be to stay in this toxicity or you will you set a boundary and

1594
01:49:56.710 --> 01:49:59.150
The boundary didn't look like but we can be friends

1595
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:01.660
You're not interested in friendship.

1596
01:50:02.480 --> 01:50:03.940
You're interested in friendship with people

1597
01:50:03.940 --> 01:50:05.760
who help sharpen you and help you grow.

1598
01:50:06.320 --> 01:50:08.180
You didn't set up to have a friendship with him.

1599
01:50:08.220 --> 01:50:10.480
He pursued you romantically.

1600
01:50:13.780 --> 01:50:16.340
Okay, thank you for the clarity.

1601
01:50:16.880 --> 01:50:17.320
Yeah.

1602
01:50:17.380 --> 01:50:19.500
But I wasn't like, yeah.

1603
01:50:19.500 --> 01:50:21.020
I'm like, I think it's this red flag.

1604
01:50:22.500 --> 01:50:25.860
Yeah, red flag central, red flag party.

1605
01:50:26.340 --> 01:50:28.540
Yes, it was a red flag last week.

1606
01:50:28.540 --> 01:50:30.340
It's a red flag this week.

1607
01:50:30.720 --> 01:50:31.900
At least it's been less than,

1608
01:50:31.960 --> 01:50:34.580
at least it's been only 24 hours, dude.

1609
01:50:36.280 --> 01:50:38.220
Like, thank Jesus.

1610
01:50:38.840 --> 01:50:40.180
Yeah, he's a tough one.

1611
01:50:40.740 --> 01:50:41.780
Yeah, okay.

1612
01:50:41.840 --> 01:50:43.860
Thank you for sharing though, it's been fun.

1613
01:50:45.880 --> 01:50:48.140
You'll be sharing about somebody else really soon.

1614
01:50:48.240 --> 01:50:49.340
You're such a beautiful woman.

1615
01:50:49.360 --> 01:50:51.120
You won't have a problem at all.

1616
01:50:51.180 --> 01:50:51.820
Thank you.

1617
01:50:52.680 --> 01:50:53.200
You're welcome.

1618
01:50:54.060 --> 01:50:58.060
Okay, we got eight minutes and we got three, two people.

1619
01:50:58.060 --> 01:51:00.500
Go Felicia, tell us about this date

1620
01:51:00.500 --> 01:51:04.300
that this guy you met halfway and y'all had a blast.

1621
01:51:06.060 --> 01:51:08.820
Oh my God, you're gonna have to work

1622
01:51:08.820 --> 01:51:09.980
through this with me, Ebony.

1623
01:51:10.700 --> 01:51:13.360
I just want, I can't wait to surprise you.

1624
01:51:15.280 --> 01:51:17.860
I just, you know, like you had said,

1625
01:51:18.340 --> 01:51:21.020
when I get shy away, I realized that

1626
01:51:21.440 --> 01:51:23.760
there was something that was not coming through

1627
01:51:23.760 --> 01:51:26.840
and it's because I was asking, you know, direct question.

1628
01:51:26.840 --> 01:51:29.400
And after coaching, which I told you,

1629
01:51:29.420 --> 01:51:30.920
I always so get help.

1630
01:51:30.940 --> 01:51:32.320
I don't know if everyone is like that.

1631
01:51:32.320 --> 01:51:34.320
Man, you just get so moved after coaching.

1632
01:51:34.660 --> 01:51:37.860
And I was able to just get serious and said,

1633
01:51:37.780 --> 01:51:39.460
listen, we need to talk.

1634
01:51:40.580 --> 01:51:44.500
And then, you know, I find out that he's so used to

1635
01:51:44.540 --> 01:51:46.700
all the women that he met on the apps,

1636
01:51:47.040 --> 01:51:49.920
throw themselves at him and come to see him.

1637
01:51:50.500 --> 01:51:53.000
And they drive miles and fly from,

1638
01:51:53.240 --> 01:51:54.800
I think you said a woman came from Africa

1639
01:51:55.460 --> 01:51:57.300
and they came to him.

1640
01:51:58.300 --> 01:51:59.780
So when I gave him that proposal,

1641
01:51:59.820 --> 01:52:01.660
that this is a guideline that we're gonna do,

1642
01:52:01.820 --> 01:52:04.040
he did not want to accept that at all.

1643
01:52:04.180 --> 01:52:05.420
He pushed back on it and,

1644
01:52:05.920 --> 01:52:07.260
but he wasn't pushing back on it

1645
01:52:07.260 --> 01:52:08.880
when I was talking to you last week Tuesday,

1646
01:52:09.140 --> 01:52:11.620
is after coaching, I get into the rhythm of it

1647
01:52:11.620 --> 01:52:13.080
and said, listen, we need to talk.

1648
01:52:13.720 --> 01:52:16.440
And he was just like, you know,

1649
01:52:16.440 --> 01:52:18.740
he'd never get proposed that before.

1650
01:52:18.880 --> 01:52:20.340
He's not used to that.

1651
01:52:20.380 --> 01:52:21.580
He don't know what that is.

1652
01:52:21.580 --> 01:52:24.240
So I just decided to just let him know that,

1653
01:52:24.640 --> 01:52:26.780
listen, this is the guideline that I'm following.

1654
01:52:27.700 --> 01:52:29.420
And, you know, what I do now

1655
01:52:29.420 --> 01:52:32.260
is what I'm gonna able to do into a relationship.

1656
01:52:32.460 --> 01:52:35.700
And I don't wanna break boundaries and guidelines.

1657
01:52:35.920 --> 01:52:37.880
I don't wanna use the word rules, but guidelines,

1658
01:52:38.380 --> 01:52:40.260
because I'm gonna do the same thing into the relationship.

1659
01:52:40.400 --> 01:52:42.060
And I said, wouldn't you think that's what happened?

1660
01:52:42.140 --> 01:52:43.640
And he said, yes, you're not gonna trust me.

1661
01:52:44.260 --> 01:52:47.300
So I said, listen, I think we need to just decide

1662
01:52:47.300 --> 01:52:49.620
that we're not aligned in that area.

1663
01:52:51.140 --> 01:52:52.740
And he didn't wanna take it,

1664
01:52:52.760 --> 01:52:54.400
but I just decided that's what I'm gonna do.

1665
01:52:54.800 --> 01:52:55.660
That's my decision.

1666
01:52:56.140 --> 01:52:57.940
Cause he didn't wanna meet halfway.

1667
01:52:58.500 --> 01:53:00.440
And he was just making up a lot of,

1668
01:53:00.800 --> 01:53:03.100
cause he was talking about work and a lot of stuff.

1669
01:53:03.100 --> 01:53:05.860
And then he get two days off from his,

1670
01:53:06.400 --> 01:53:09.220
from both jobs at the same day, on the same day.

1671
01:53:09.220 --> 01:53:10.560
And he still didn't wanna do it.

1672
01:53:10.820 --> 01:53:12.900
And that's why I said, I need to talk to him.

1673
01:53:13.080 --> 01:53:13.880
So he didn't wanna do it.

1674
01:53:13.880 --> 01:53:15.240
So I just end it.

1675
01:53:15.400 --> 01:53:16.660
So it phase out.

1676
01:53:16.700 --> 01:53:19.320
Yeah, they do phase out after I did like him,

1677
01:53:19.320 --> 01:53:22.540
but it phase out, phase out after a day, next.

1678
01:53:23.860 --> 01:53:25.660
So that was what was going on.

1679
01:53:25.700 --> 01:53:28.180
And then I have this other guy that I'm talking to,

1680
01:53:28.680 --> 01:53:30.560
but I don't think I am talking to him.

1681
01:53:30.580 --> 01:53:32.460
I think he's choosing when to talk to me

1682
01:53:32.620 --> 01:53:35.940
and that's phasing out too, because he's someone,

1683
01:53:36.240 --> 01:53:37.340
you know, the long distance,

1684
01:53:37.780 --> 01:53:39.580
I don't think it's really working for me,

1685
01:53:39.740 --> 01:53:41.460
but he's on a schedule.

1686
01:53:43.200 --> 01:53:45.720
And his schedule comes with a lot of boundaries

1687
01:53:45.780 --> 01:53:47.780
and cockiness, it seems to be.

1688
01:53:47.780 --> 01:53:49.960
And, you know, I talked to him on video call.

1689
01:53:50.000 --> 01:53:50.720
So I asked him,

1690
01:53:50.840 --> 01:53:53.060
were you planning on letting us do a video call

1691
01:53:53.060 --> 01:53:54.440
so you can see who you're talking to?

1692
01:53:54.440 --> 01:53:57.040
And he said, he was not gonna ask for a video call.

1693
01:53:57.180 --> 01:53:58.220
He said, there was no need.

1694
01:53:58.620 --> 01:54:00.900
I said, but, you know, why?

1695
01:54:01.100 --> 01:54:03.560
And he said, well, he needs to,

1696
01:54:04.020 --> 01:54:07.300
he needed his way until he decided that he wants to,

1697
01:54:07.840 --> 01:54:10.280
if it's someone he wants to continue talking to.

1698
01:54:10.600 --> 01:54:12.740
And, but anyway, all of that is phasing out.

1699
01:54:12.800 --> 01:54:14.720
He says hi in the morning

1700
01:54:14.720 --> 01:54:18.140
and then he has his calendar in the evening.

1701
01:54:18.160 --> 01:54:19.180
I'm not interested.

1702
01:54:19.300 --> 01:54:20.620
I can't know someone like that.

1703
01:54:20.620 --> 01:54:21.820
So I'm ready to send him a message

1704
01:54:21.820 --> 01:54:24.080
and let him know that that's not working.

1705
01:54:24.320 --> 01:54:27.940
But then I moved from Facebook dating up to The Hinge

1706
01:54:27.940 --> 01:54:29.580
and I'm getting a lot of success there.

1707
01:54:29.720 --> 01:54:31.180
I talked to this guy today

1708
01:54:31.180 --> 01:54:35.160
and that was really, really like a O and a half away.

1709
01:54:35.160 --> 01:54:36.480
And that's getting me excited

1710
01:54:36.620 --> 01:54:39.780
that at least I can come up with a date close by.

1711
01:54:40.400 --> 01:54:43.300
He's really, you know, just very interesting

1712
01:54:43.300 --> 01:54:47.180
and healthy seems to be, but, you know, we're just talking.

1713
01:54:47.420 --> 01:54:48.620
So let's see where that goes.

1714
01:54:49.280 --> 01:54:51.060
So that's my update for now.

1715
01:54:51.400 --> 01:54:53.380
Those are really good updates, Felicia.

1716
01:54:53.680 --> 01:54:55.240
And I agree with you about this guy.

1717
01:54:55.460 --> 01:54:57.460
He used to be, you know, that's the, you know,

1718
01:54:57.980 --> 01:54:58.860
a blessing block.

1719
01:54:59.120 --> 01:54:59.980
If a man...

1720
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:09.120
not willing to come and see you offering to meet him halfway is really nice um but that was so

1721
01:55:09.740 --> 01:55:16.220
he's not a masculine man in that way to require say to you ain't nobody came from

1722
01:55:16.220 --> 01:55:22.740
north africa to see him unless it was his cousin baby bye you know ain't nobody

1723
01:55:22.740 --> 01:55:30.720
and baby they can tell you they can tell you all that nonsense they can't fool me trust me

1724
01:55:30.720 --> 01:55:36.680
and i have to add this listen i am a professional food inspector let me tell you the moment they

1725
01:55:36.680 --> 01:55:41.660
act their foolishness i just pick it up and in a healthy way i just pick it up and i say okay

1726
01:55:42.040 --> 01:55:46.380
that's not gonna work because if you pick it up now and it's not gonna work what are they gonna

1727
01:55:46.380 --> 01:55:51.880
do later on in another year another two years another three years and that is really keeping

1728
01:55:51.880 --> 01:55:57.500
me well that's inspecting those fruits that's right well you should say what part of africa

1729
01:55:57.500 --> 01:56:04.880
she came from see you joker i'm lying he needed but what you should have laughed at him you

1730
01:56:04.880 --> 01:56:10.760
should say call me so i can laugh at you so you can hear me like video tap and you know he know

1731
01:56:10.760 --> 01:56:16.020
better but now you did right to cut him out i thought he was one from what you shared last

1732
01:56:16.020 --> 01:56:21.180
time he was wanting to drive to see you all the way that's what he said when he got a day out

1733
01:56:21.180 --> 01:56:26.800
he wanted to come and he's gonna take time off work and everything but you did right and i'm

1734
01:56:26.800 --> 01:56:31.420
excited for you talking to the guy that's a hour and a half away you know when you want to get live

1735
01:56:31.780 --> 01:56:37.260
dates you really do you can talk to people at a distance but you want to try to talk to some

1736
01:56:37.260 --> 01:56:41.780
people that are close enough so that you can have your first date because it's easy to get caught

1737
01:56:41.780 --> 01:56:47.320
up in the world where you just talk to people all the time but when you go on a date i'm telling you

1738
01:56:47.320 --> 01:56:52.300
spark something on the inside of you just a little confident you start to feel real dainty

1739
01:56:52.300 --> 01:56:57.620
it's just something about it you just feel it you just feel it you feel it you're feeling you're

1740
01:56:57.620 --> 01:57:04.440
feeling and so okay good good update felicia thank you thank you you're welcome stephanie

1741
01:57:05.560 --> 01:57:13.180
and we're gonna end it with you hi i am pulling over i was just taking advantage of traffic while

1742
01:57:13.180 --> 01:57:22.380
um but pulling over right now okay take your time i don't like facebook dating

1743
01:57:30.940 --> 01:57:40.900
so um i i think i'm just really still triggered for my for my ex um so and the thing is

1744
01:57:40.900 --> 01:57:47.980
i was legit basically just getting no play on facebook dating and was totally fine actually

1745
01:57:47.980 --> 01:57:54.980
with it so i almost preferred when no one was hitting me up i thought that my algorithm was

1746
01:57:54.980 --> 01:58:01.480
just just had me hidden and i had to check and make sure that i that it wasn't just me

1747
01:58:01.480 --> 01:58:07.300
and some some of the guys profiles seem like they have not updated it since the pandemic um

1748
01:58:08.100 --> 01:58:14.220
bit so that's why i was like well maybe that's why because they were bored in the pandemic and

1749
01:58:14.220 --> 01:58:21.960
they just never shut down their account and now they're saying stuff like well it's 2020

1750
01:58:21.960 --> 01:58:28.380
you might as well try this and it's like like have you not even logged in to your account so

1751
01:58:28.380 --> 01:58:34.840
there's that finally kind of broke through and and got um one guy that is messaging me

1752
01:58:34.840 --> 01:58:43.920
he seems nice um but i feel like my guard is just super up because of my ex and i might also

1753
01:58:43.920 --> 01:58:48.200
be triggered because of yesterday being my brother's birthday and my ex being a lot like

1754
01:58:48.200 --> 01:58:54.900
my brother so i think that i'm just i'm i'm acknowledging that i'm a little more on edge

1755
01:58:54.900 --> 01:59:03.160
and i'm trying not to be so like on the defense when it comes to any guy from facebook dating

1756
01:59:03.160 --> 01:59:11.240
but it's really hard to not be that way right now especially when like all the guys from the

1757
01:59:11.240 --> 01:59:17.540
holy app have just gone m.i.a. completely um they seemed like good options but then

1758
01:59:17.580 --> 01:59:25.500
like they disappeared so it's god defended so i'm i'm a little bit of the abandonment wound

1759
01:59:25.500 --> 01:59:32.060
was trying to creep in whenever they just went m.i.a. but i squashed that right away and holy

1760
01:59:32.060 --> 01:59:38.620
spirit really helped with that but um yeah so it's it's been it's been challenging i am

1761
01:59:38.620 --> 01:59:44.720
i'm still pushing through i'm still texting and messaging with one guy and i was sick last week

1762
01:59:44.720 --> 01:59:51.960
and we're gonna face time at some point but i'm not enthused about it i'm i'm i'm like dragging

1763
01:59:51.960 --> 01:59:58.040
my feet through the mud because of i think because of the fact that i met him on facebook dating so

1764
01:59:58.040 --> 01:59:59.200
yeah

1765
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:07.540
You guys, you know, Stephanie, online dating just comes with its challenges.

1766
02:00:07.940 --> 02:00:10.000
It's not a cakewalk all the time.

1767
02:00:10.760 --> 02:00:14.840
Sometimes it's good and fun, and then you could choose any app you want.

1768
02:00:14.920 --> 02:00:20.740
All of them are going to have their ups and downs, and you don't have to do the app, but

1769
02:00:20.740 --> 02:00:27.820
you have to be very active outside of the app to meet someone, to approach people more,

1770
02:00:27.820 --> 02:00:33.280
to try to get you some winged women and go out, and then when you're ready to do that,

1771
02:00:33.320 --> 02:00:35.180
you have these thoughts, because I've had them too.

1772
02:00:36.440 --> 02:00:38.020
Oh, but how do I know if they're a believer?

1773
02:00:38.620 --> 02:00:40.880
You don't really ask the person there when you first meet them.

1774
02:00:41.160 --> 02:00:44.540
At least on the dating app, I can read if they're a Christian, they say a little bit

1775
02:00:44.540 --> 02:00:48.660
more about themselves, and so it's like you do have that advantage, but somebody just

1776
02:00:48.660 --> 02:00:53.340
posted, which is true, for Tisa, a lot of these men don't put a lot about themselves.

1777
02:00:53.820 --> 02:00:55.100
Like, what you mean?

1778
02:00:55.100 --> 02:00:57.240
Somebody you want to know just asked.

1779
02:00:57.240 --> 02:00:58.700
I ain't going to ask you nothing.

1780
02:00:58.760 --> 02:01:00.060
I'm not going to do it.

1781
02:01:00.060 --> 02:01:02.600
It's going right past your profile.

1782
02:01:02.900 --> 02:01:03.940
You should have wrote something.

1783
02:01:03.940 --> 02:01:10.920
It's a dating app, so you ain't intentional enough for me, because you don't even take

1784
02:01:10.940 --> 02:01:14.860
time to create your information for somebody to get to know you.

1785
02:01:15.100 --> 02:01:16.780
I can tell we ain't for each other.

1786
02:01:16.860 --> 02:01:18.220
Or the angry profiles.

1787
02:01:18.780 --> 02:01:18.980
Oh.

1788
02:01:19.520 --> 02:01:22.080
The angry profiles drive me crazy.

1789
02:01:22.160 --> 02:01:25.040
It's like, well, you're just way too negative, and the fact that you

1790
02:01:25.040 --> 02:01:30.860
have said multiple times, multiple ways that you want a woman that is biologically a woman,

1791
02:01:31.040 --> 02:01:32.600
it's like, who hurt you?

1792
02:01:32.860 --> 02:01:39.160
What have you been through so bad that you're saying that several different ways?

1793
02:01:39.860 --> 02:01:44.620
Yeah, men, a lot of them have, and the JK has talked about those negative profiles before

1794
02:01:44.620 --> 02:01:48.980
and just seeing that, okay, this person has a lot going on and realize they're not the

1795
02:01:48.980 --> 02:01:49.140
one.

1796
02:01:49.180 --> 02:01:53.380
A lot of times, I don't even read them because they come out so strongly, and then there

1797
02:01:53.380 --> 02:01:55.140
are a lot of women who post negative profiles.

1798
02:01:55.300 --> 02:01:58.980
Don't talk to me if you ain't got no car, you ain't got no job, I ain't trying to be

1799
02:01:58.980 --> 02:02:03.980
this, I don't need this from you, dah, dah, dah, dah, and so then men see that, and then

1800
02:02:04.020 --> 02:02:05.900
they repost something the same way.

1801
02:02:06.100 --> 02:02:10.240
I ain't got no money for you, I got my own house, I got my own car, don't come for me,

1802
02:02:10.360 --> 02:02:15.700
I got this, and I got ... I'm like, golly, and it's just like, look, bro, I don't go

1803
02:02:15.820 --> 02:02:16.220
on.

1804
02:02:16.220 --> 02:02:26.040
You a different level type of man, that's my quality of a man, and so really, when I

1805
02:02:26.040 --> 02:02:28.260
read them, I'm like, oh, great, I see who you are.

1806
02:02:28.400 --> 02:02:33.260
I can tell where you are, and that's okay, there's another woman for that type of man,

1807
02:02:33.840 --> 02:02:34.840
just not me.

1808
02:02:35.340 --> 02:02:39.220
But so, Steph, I can understand you being discouraged, and you can always take a break.

1809
02:02:39.260 --> 02:02:41.960
You don't have to be, you know you don't have to do it.

1810
02:02:42.960 --> 02:02:49.440
I know that I can't allow myself to take a break, because if I take a break, then that

1811
02:02:49.440 --> 02:02:57.760
break will last for a year, so I can't do that, and I have to be super transparent with

1812
02:02:57.880 --> 02:03:05.740
my community, like you as the coach, and everyone else, because I know that I will back all

1813
02:03:05.740 --> 02:03:16.340
the way back, but I am going to a white party with my roommate on Saturday, and I'm going

1814
02:03:16.340 --> 02:03:17.360
to that.

1815
02:03:17.880 --> 02:03:24.200
There's a guy that might be there that she wants to introduce me to, while I was on this

1816
02:03:24.200 --> 02:03:29.980
call, walking downstairs from work, there was a guy on the stairway that was talking

1817
02:03:29.980 --> 02:03:37.980
to me, was trying to spark a little conversation as well, so I'm trying to be smiley and intentional,

1818
02:03:38.640 --> 02:03:39.460
so yeah.

1819
02:03:40.540 --> 02:03:42.080
I like that.

1820
02:03:42.320 --> 02:03:43.300
I like that.

1821
02:03:43.440 --> 02:03:48.120
I like this, gonna meet, gonna this, like all these different things just, they bring

1822
02:03:48.120 --> 02:03:52.800
an energy to them, and I'm excited that you're partaking in it, and you're right, sometimes

1823
02:03:52.800 --> 02:03:56.140
when we get discouraged and say, I'm just going to take a break, guess what, that break

1824
02:03:56.140 --> 02:03:59.400
could cause you, I'm not saying you shouldn't rest when you're tired, so don't hear what

1825
02:03:59.400 --> 02:04:05.500
I'm not saying, but sometimes, like she said, if I stop now, it'd be two, three years, three,

1826
02:04:05.560 --> 02:04:09.000
four, five years, you know what I'm saying, you're just like, I'm going to do my own thing

1827
02:04:09.000 --> 02:04:14.720
for a little while, a little while, women can get content, three, four years, five years,

1828
02:04:14.780 --> 02:04:19.120
you know, and so I understand that, and I think that you're doing well, in spite of

1829
02:04:19.120 --> 02:04:22.940
all your triggers, you're still moving forward, and I'm happy for you.

1830
02:04:22.940 --> 02:04:31.020
Thank you, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'll keep you posted, I'm nervous about this white party,

1831
02:04:31.200 --> 02:04:36.000
and about meeting friends of friends, I felt more comfortable, I think, with the app and

1832
02:04:36.000 --> 02:04:40.160
the strangers, with the friends of friends, so.

1833
02:04:40.280 --> 02:04:42.940
Well, you just get cute, make sure you smell good.

1834
02:04:43.780 --> 02:04:44.140
Yes.

1835
02:04:45.000 --> 02:04:47.420
I have a dress, it's cute, so.

1836
02:04:48.520 --> 02:04:49.540
Post us a picture.

1837
02:04:50.060 --> 02:04:51.620
Okay, I'll do that.

1838
02:04:51.620 --> 02:04:52.440
Okay.

1839
02:04:53.140 --> 02:04:58.120
All right, ladies, well, it has been a blast, and I've enjoyed you all so much.

1840
02:04:58.480 --> 02:04:59.980
Please post in the...

1841
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:07.580
In the app, let me know how things are going and what's a white party a white party is where it's like a

1842
02:05:07.580 --> 02:05:09.240
Summer party where everyone's wearing white

1843
02:05:12.380 --> 02:05:16.960
Yep, my all white part. I want to go to me somebody little pot. I got a white dress

1844
02:05:22.460 --> 02:05:29.820
Well, look it was so good to see y'all to hear y'all some faces I haven't seen I heard Stephanie was in in the house

1845
02:05:29.820 --> 02:05:34.520
I heard a voice and saw her little picture. And so I am so excited

1846
02:05:35.500 --> 02:05:40.780
I hope you ladies have a good night in a good rest of your weekend. We will talk soon. Have a good night

1847
02:05:40.800 --> 02:05:44.740
Thank you. Have a great night. Thank you. Ebony. God bless y'all. Bye

1848
02:05:45.440 --> 02:05:46.240
Thanks so much

1849
02:05:48.120 --> 02:05:52.120
Good night. Love you, Ebony. I love you

1850
02:05:53.920 --> 02:05:54.800
Bye ladies

1851
02:05:55.400 --> 02:05:56.580
Bye

1852
02:05:57.760 --> 02:05:59.160
Bye