WEBVTT

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Welcome, ladies. We are about 30 seconds out from 1 o'clock Eastern. It is September 9th.

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This is your Tuesday 1 o'clock check in. So good to have you here. For those ladies that

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might be watching and replaying don't know who I am. I'm Carla Johnson. I'm one of your

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coaches here at last year's single. Just a little background about me. I came to join

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about five years now. I was a single lady myself and just celebrated last week two-year

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anniversary with my husband. So the program works, ladies. It took me a little while but

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I can just be here as a testimony to you ladies that God is in control. He is so intentional

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about your love story and there are so many opportunities in this season that God is going

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to be able to use for you just to continue your healing and your growth. I know I've

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had a couple ladies share in the app that they miss heart work, which I get. We come

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out of phase one and there's just so much good content there and just community. I want

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to reassure you ladies that the heart work doesn't stop. Okay. So if you are brand new,

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maybe you're watching a replay, you're brand new to this phase and you're like,

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but I miss heart work. I miss phase one. Don't worry. We get into heart work here too. Many

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of my ladies that have been here for several weeks and have come to lives, they know that

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usually our problems that we're facing or our struggles that we're facing and dating are not

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the real problem. It's still deeper heart work. Trust me. Okay. I totally get it. And then even

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when you get married, there's heart work in marriage too, ladies. I can attest to that as

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well. So I just want you ladies to know that. Don't feel like we're not going to do heart work

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here because we will. And don't feel like if you're not dating someone, but you have some

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stuff that's coming up, like we're here to coach you through it. Believe it or not. A lot of times

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it all links back to heart work. All is so good to see you. Awesome. Awesome. Okay. So let's just

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go ahead and get some housekeeping stuff out of the way. Um, and then, okay. Yeah. Just wish you

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still had access ladies. If you're wanting access to phase one heart work videos, go ahead and email

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admin at Jackie dorman.com and make that request. Um, cause I'm not sure how we're going to be able

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to do that, but if there's a, an ability to do that week, we might be able to do so. So, um,

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send those requests to admin at Jackie dorman.com. Okay. You should still have like, you have all

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replays and all things like that. So, um, and like I said, we do heart work stuff here too.

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Or if you have a heart work question, maybe you're not dating somebody and you have a heart

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work question, bring it, bring it in the app. Like I'm, I mean, we're more than happy. Every,

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everything that we do here, the foundation is heart work. So don't hesitate to bring all your

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heart work questions. Even here in this space. Okay. You don't just because you might not have

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a dating question. Doesn't mean that you don't have a question. Okay. Cause like I said, I was

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in this community for a couple of years before I met my husband. And let me tell you, God did

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lots of work in me and my heart used dating experiences. He used, you know, family, he used,

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you know, my kid, he used everything to help prepare me for my love story. Okay. So just

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embrace that. Um, and so continue to come out of hiding in the app, post your questions. All right.

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Let us know what's going on. Um, if you can't make one of the calls, we do these in replay.

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So make sure you watch the replays. We have an eight o'clock call tonight. So if you can make

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that definitely join with Ebony. Um, if not hers will be in replay as well. So you can catch that

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as well. Um, do I have any newbies? Anybody new? I think I recognize most of you, Kim. Yeah. I

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brand new, fresh out of heartwork. You can unmute.

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All right. So this is your first, first live. Yes. Welcome. Thank you. So you, are you,

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are you one of those are like, I miss my heartwork. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that.

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I didn't know that we wouldn't have access.

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as to them, had I known that,

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and if there's no other solution,

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had I known that I probably would have stayed

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a little bit longer and just gone over them again, you know?

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Yes, I totally get it.

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But again, just know our foundation is heartwork.

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So we do heartwork stuff in here too.

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Is there anything in particular

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that you like really absorb from heartwork

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that you're like, oh, I'm really gonna miss that?

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Well, I think that the videos are just very strategic

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and very systematically presented

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so that you sort of cover, you know,

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and look at things in more detail.

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And I understand we can bring our questions in here,

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but sometimes those questions don't come up

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unless you're listening to a video

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and they're addressing certain topics.

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You're going, oh, I guess, you know,

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that sort of, you know, touched my heart a little bit.

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Maybe I'll write that down and bring that forward.

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So it just brings, I think it helps to bring things up

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that maybe you don't, aren't either not aware of

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or just haven't addressed yet.

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And so, I mean, like you said,

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heartwork continues throughout life,

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but sometimes those things aren't brought up

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unless you're hearing either other people talk about them

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or the videos were very helpful.

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Are you talking about the videos that Jackie does

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in alignment with the reading?

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Yeah.

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Okay, okay.

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Okay, I'm gonna make a note of that

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so that way we can see if we can't have access

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to those as well.

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I'm just making a note right now.

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Yes, the content was so full.

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And do you still have access to your book?

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I have, yeah, I have a book.

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I bought a book.

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Okay, because I will tell you, okay, I'm five years in

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and I'm, you know, and even now I'm married,

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I still open that book.

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Yeah, I know that will be helpful.

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Yeah, so, and you'll, and again,

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like I understand what you're saying,

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like, cause sometimes, you know,

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I always go back and listen to replays as well

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because there's new, like there's information

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that I like, it just, it hits differently

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the second, third, fourth time that I listened to it.

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So I totally get that.

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I will bring that to the team so that we're, you know,

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everybody's made aware and we'll see what we can't do.

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But that's helpful to know.

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So thank you so much for sharing that.

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I appreciate it.

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And we're so glad to have you here.

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I see a few more people on.

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Do I have anybody else that's brand new

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to phase two, Lustre Accelerator?

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Do we have anybody else?

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I think I see one, I'm horrible.

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I'm like not very great at phonetic, like reading.

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So I end up butchering people's names and I never mean to.

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Where did she go?

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Is it Alyssa?

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Yes, thank you.

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Hi.

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Did I pronounce that right?

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Yes, thanks.

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Okay, good.

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I'm so glad to have you here.

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I see you.

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I haven't, it's been a couple of weeks I think

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and since I've seen you on with the one o'clock.

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How are you doing?

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Meg R, I see you girl.

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I got you, I'm waiting for you.

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I got Sonia.

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Hi, Sonia, how are you?

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And then I think the Stephanie's are at work

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so they'll come on camera shortly.

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Sonia, are you new here?

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I've been in the program

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but this is my first time actually attending a live

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so I'm new to this.

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Awesome, awesome.

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So have you been in our phase for a little bit?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Yep, yeah, I was the person that did the really long post

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and to update you all how I feel like

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this is just a second job, the dating.

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Yes, no, I just read yours here before I jumped on.

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So it was, I can relate.

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You're the single mama, aren't you?

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Yes.

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Okay, yep, I got you girl.

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I know my girl, Alyssa, she's a single mama too.

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We had this conversation a couple of weeks ago as well.

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So I have some experience with that.

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So if you're a single mom, I'm right there with you.

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I went through this whole program as a single mom.

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So I do believe that there's Kinsmen Redeemers

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for all you single mamas out there, okay?

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I got myself one.

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So I know if God can do it for me,

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he can do it for you too, okay?

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Yes.

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All right, ladies, let's go ahead and just,

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I'm gonna pray and then let's get started.

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How about that?

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Let's see.

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How many do I have on here today?

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I've got 13 of you plus myself, awesome.

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All right, Heavenly Father, I thank you so much

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for this wonderful Tuesday, September 9th.

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Lord, I just thank you for your presence.

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Lord, I thank you for the ability for us

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to just get on these calls, to just come as a community,

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just to partner with one another,

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for us to be able to be vulnerable,

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to share our struggles, to share our celebrations,

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just to be able to have community to do that

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and women here that are gonna be here to support.

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Lord, I thank you that you bring community together

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in order to achieve what it is that you wanna do.

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So Lord, I ask that your presence

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just be here and felt today.

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Lord, I ask the women to open up their hearts

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and their minds to be comfortable getting uncomfortable,

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to be okay with being vulnerable.

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Lord, and I just pray that you highlight any areas

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of healing that you want us to embark on, Lord.

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And I just, again, I pray for your presence

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in Jesus' name, amen.

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All right, I got a few more people on, okay.

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So yeah, ladies, how is everybody doing

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with Supernatural Saturday?

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How many of you are watching your Supernatural Saturday?

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You can't come live, but you're still watching a replay.

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Go ahead and raise your little avatar hand.

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Okay, I see Leah, she's got her hand up.

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Audrey, Stephanie, okay, good, Laurie, awesome.

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All right, ladies, if you're not watching

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Supernatural Saturday, you're missing out.

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So many powerful things get released

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on Supernatural Saturday.

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All right, I know we all have busy schedules.

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I am definitely weekends are a challenge for me,

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but I don't know about you all,

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but what I find helpful for me is I live in the DFW area

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and it's traveling, I mean, just driving takes you forever.

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So what you can do is if you can't come live

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while you're driving and you're in traffic

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and you're in that rush hour traffic,

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play that Supernatural Saturday, listen to it in your car.

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I don't know about you all,

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but my car is typically like my prayer closet

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when my kids are not in there.

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I mean, even when my kids are in there,

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sometimes I'm like, okay,

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everybody's got to play the silent game

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because I need to have a moment with the Lord.

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Your mom's out there, no.

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Like sometimes I just need to pray in the car.

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So put Supernatural Saturday on,

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and sometimes you might have to pause it,

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which is totally fine.

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If you have to watch it in chunks, totally fine.

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Maybe you watch the first half and then you get stuck,

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then you're like, oh my gosh,

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I can't remember where I left off.

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Then listen to it again from the beginning.

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Sometimes I do that and I'm like, oh my goodness,

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I didn't hear that the first time around,

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but I'm glad I listened to it a second time

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because I got something even deeper

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or more like of an aha moment

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or God just highlighted something to me.

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So ladies, please, please, please make sure

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that you are doing that.

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How's everybody?

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Did anybody do some activations

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on tapping into their inner bride this week?

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Oh, I was gonna say something on the Supernatural, sorry.

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Yes, go for it, Stephanie.

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So I didn't catch this one,

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but I catch it one week before by replay.

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And for the whole, I mean, listening to it,

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it was so powerful.

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I do my own company, plus I work part-time

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to try to supplement when there is no work

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because I do a reading program for children.

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And I was listening to it,

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and I'm always in this hustle thing, like hustle,

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like, oh, you need to go to the market,

245
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and you market, and you do this, do all of that.

246
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After I finished listening to that,

247
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she kept on saying about the hustle mentality,

248
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but at the end, she talked about orphan hustle,

249
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children rest.

250
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I had to go look, that sent me down a rabbit hole,

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and then I found Galatians 3, I think, like 28 to 24,

252
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that talk about that you are sons,

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and it's by the faith in Jesus makes you son of God.

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And I'm like, it took me,

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all I kept on saying for the whole time,

256
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I am a daughter, I am a daughter.

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And then God showed me, He said,

258
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if your son needs something,

259
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does he have to go to somebody else

260
00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:45.680
to talk to him to get to you?

261
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What do you, what does he do?

262
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He come, I don't care if I'm on this call,

263
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he just stand up there and talk, and start talking,

264
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and like, everybody is mute,

265
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you have to mute everybody else to talk to him.

266
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And he's like, it's the same thing.

267
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I can come to him and talk and that was so powerful. I was like, oh my god. I was really good

268
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Yeah, that's all I wanted to say. Thank you. Yes. No, that's so good. Yeah, and that's what I'm telling you ladies

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These supernatural Saturdays and I know you know, Kim Kim was just sharing with us

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You know coming out of heart work and stuff that sometimes it's like you don't realize something until you know

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We're watching the video and something just gets uncovered the same thing happens on these live calls. It happens on supernatural Saturday

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I mean ladies again, I'm married now, you know having been in this program and I'm married now

273
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but there's a lot of things that

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Let's speak to me on those calls

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so it's it's it's really what you know, and Jackie is got such an anointing and she really really I mean

276
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God can just put some like mic drops on her and and it's really really powerful. So

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Definitely make sure that you're checking those out

278
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And getting on those okay again if you can't be there live get get in the replay

279
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I mean in an interview like we were just sharing like any of you that are moms

280
00:16:04.710 --> 00:16:08.150
I I've listened to it even with my kids in the car because believe it or not

281
00:16:08.150 --> 00:16:14.170
it helps all my kids like my got kids that are I have a 16 year old an almost 14 year old and

282
00:16:14.950 --> 00:16:16.530
a kid that just turned 10 and

283
00:16:17.550 --> 00:16:20.870
My 10 year old was with me from the very beginning of this program

284
00:16:20.870 --> 00:16:25.010
so he was like we used to joke that he was kind of like the mascot of

285
00:16:25.010 --> 00:16:26.330
last year single

286
00:16:26.710 --> 00:16:33.430
Like he and Jackie are like this because he was like five years old and he'd be in listening to all of our you know

287
00:16:33.430 --> 00:16:37.050
stuff and he would be praying for mom to find a husband and

288
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God would actually use my kid to speak to me about my husband. It was

289
00:16:44.370 --> 00:16:45.810
bizarre just

290
00:16:45.850 --> 00:16:50.990
Absolutely bizarre and bring hope as well. So

291
00:16:50.990 --> 00:16:54.090
Definitely get on those calls but going back to

292
00:16:54.210 --> 00:16:58.830
Tap it into her inner bride. Did anybody go on an adventure tap it in on their inner bride?

293
00:16:58.910 --> 00:17:01.430
I know I released this a couple weeks ago

294
00:17:02.170 --> 00:17:05.630
You know go go, you know

295
00:17:06.750 --> 00:17:08.390
wedding shoe shopping

296
00:17:11.630 --> 00:17:14.270
Buy your dress I did that that's a big one

297
00:17:15.270 --> 00:17:17.270
go to like a

298
00:17:17.810 --> 00:17:20.589
Maybe just get on Pinterest. Did anybody do that?

299
00:17:21.390 --> 00:17:25.950
Yes, Kim. Yes, they often use children to speak. Yes. I love that

300
00:17:26.910 --> 00:17:27.770
so Stephanie

301
00:17:28.670 --> 00:17:35.470
You didn't get to activate your bride, but you identified the fear of getting your hopes up. Okay. Well, that's good. That's progress

302
00:17:36.070 --> 00:17:38.770
when we identify those fears ladies

303
00:17:39.870 --> 00:17:42.550
it's a way for us to get deeper healing and

304
00:17:44.130 --> 00:17:46.710
So I want I want to encourage you ladies

305
00:17:46.710 --> 00:17:50.990
I know we're in this week. We call it the dating phase the discovery dating and some of you

306
00:17:50.990 --> 00:17:55.630
You know might not be ready to jump out on to the dating scene yet, and that's fine, too

307
00:17:55.730 --> 00:17:59.450
But there's still so much progress that you can be making

308
00:18:00.770 --> 00:18:06.330
Okay, if there's things that are holding you back it's being able to tap in it's like what is that big fear

309
00:18:07.170 --> 00:18:11.070
What does God want you to release? What is he want you healed from?

310
00:18:11.750 --> 00:18:18.530
Okay, so if you feel led to just go do something to activate that inner bride

311
00:18:18.530 --> 00:18:22.690
I know someone just posted they purchased a gift for their husband

312
00:18:22.690 --> 00:18:28.650
That's that's an activation that I've released for you ladies before, you know, go buy a gift for your future husband

313
00:18:29.590 --> 00:18:36.990
Like and it's really cool. Like I'm telling you get like down the road when y'all meet your husbands and

314
00:18:37.510 --> 00:18:41.550
You get to post about some of these activations, it's awesome

315
00:18:42.230 --> 00:18:48.430
like and it and it will activate hope and the other women that are in this community that are just joining and

316
00:18:49.910 --> 00:18:55.390
So yes, awesome. Like somebody went to a conference call a marriage conference call. I love that

317
00:18:56.350 --> 00:18:59.990
Start activating it start start activating that inner bride

318
00:19:00.410 --> 00:19:04.290
All right, let's let's put some put some legs on our prayers

319
00:19:04.290 --> 00:19:07.230
You know, we want to see ourselves as brides

320
00:19:07.530 --> 00:19:11.470
So try on those wedding dresses go try on some veils

321
00:19:11.470 --> 00:19:16.030
Buy a really cute pair of earrings that you're like, maybe I want to wear these on my wedding day

322
00:19:16.030 --> 00:19:19.970
I know Stephanie's got dibs on my I my wedding earring. I do

323
00:19:21.110 --> 00:19:28.190
She's gonna get those something borrowed earrings from me because I had ladies coming on like a couple months ago

324
00:19:28.190 --> 00:19:30.790
I'm like, you know, let's get dolled up ladies

325
00:19:30.790 --> 00:19:35.350
let's wear wear some flashy earrings and I wore my wedding my wedding day earrings and

326
00:19:36.110 --> 00:19:39.010
Stephanie saw those and she's like I want those are my stuff borrowed

327
00:19:40.830 --> 00:19:46.970
So don't be afraid to just you know have some fun and do that and so that's what's leading me to

328
00:19:46.970 --> 00:19:52.990
Activate you ladies this week is I want you to start activating your joy. I

329
00:19:52.990 --> 00:19:53.410
know

330
00:19:54.250 --> 00:19:59.230
I think it was Sonia. She was posting like okay this dating feels like a job

331
00:19:59.230 --> 00:19:59.970
It's

332
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.260
It's really stressful.

333
00:20:02.300 --> 00:20:05.340
Ladies, I don't want you ladies dating

334
00:20:05.340 --> 00:20:07.520
to where it feels like a job

335
00:20:08.120 --> 00:20:10.300
and it's adding stress to your life.

336
00:20:10.300 --> 00:20:12.340
We wanna add joy to our life.

337
00:20:12.620 --> 00:20:15.300
So if you're feeling like the dating stuff

338
00:20:15.300 --> 00:20:16.540
is bogging you down,

339
00:20:16.840 --> 00:20:19.960
I really want you to press in

340
00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:22.020
and be spending time with Holy Spirit

341
00:20:22.020 --> 00:20:24.320
and asking him what brings you joy.

342
00:20:26.180 --> 00:20:29.860
What are some things that you can do for yourself this week

343
00:20:29.860 --> 00:20:32.420
that bring you joy?

344
00:20:32.580 --> 00:20:36.420
Cause yes, those dating apps can be very time consuming.

345
00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:40.160
Ladies, if you haven't watched it already,

346
00:20:40.440 --> 00:20:42.040
you will about boundaries.

347
00:20:42.760 --> 00:20:44.640
Sometimes we've got to create boundaries

348
00:20:45.520 --> 00:20:49.780
for ourselves around our dating, our dating apps.

349
00:20:49.880 --> 00:20:52.860
Like how much time are you spending on the apps?

350
00:20:53.300 --> 00:20:56.260
We don't want you in it like making it a full-time job.

351
00:20:56.740 --> 00:20:58.520
You have life to go live out there.

352
00:20:59.860 --> 00:21:02.000
Go have some fun.

353
00:21:02.420 --> 00:21:05.220
Bring some joy into your life, all right?

354
00:21:05.600 --> 00:21:07.580
We used to do this thing in the very beginning,

355
00:21:07.860 --> 00:21:11.600
Jackie used to call it Child's Play Saturday.

356
00:21:12.540 --> 00:21:16.220
And on Saturday, like she would literally be like,

357
00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:17.760
I want you ladies going out

358
00:21:17.760 --> 00:21:20.500
and doing something that your inner child wants to do.

359
00:21:22.300 --> 00:21:24.480
And Saturday we would have to make posts.

360
00:21:25.260 --> 00:21:28.620
What did we do to go play on Saturday?

361
00:21:30.440 --> 00:21:33.860
So I want you to be thinking about that,

362
00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:36.380
post it in the app this week.

363
00:21:36.980 --> 00:21:41.740
What are you doing to get out and create some joy?

364
00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:43.360
All right?

365
00:21:43.480 --> 00:21:47.500
Cause again, those dating apps can be very time consuming.

366
00:21:48.060 --> 00:21:50.560
I get it when you're sitting there swiping,

367
00:21:51.460 --> 00:21:52.980
swiping around and you're reading things

368
00:21:53.540 --> 00:21:55.780
and you're like, oh no, that one doesn't look good.

369
00:21:56.300 --> 00:22:00.020
No, he doesn't mention Jesus in his profile, right?

370
00:22:00.820 --> 00:22:05.760
You're like, why are the guys having the little,

371
00:22:06.060 --> 00:22:08.640
what is it, the gym selfies?

372
00:22:09.240 --> 00:22:11.780
Like we don't like that, right?

373
00:22:11.940 --> 00:22:15.300
It gets tiring, it can get very, very time consuming.

374
00:22:15.880 --> 00:22:18.020
So go out and have fun.

375
00:22:18.120 --> 00:22:19.060
Cause guess what ladies,

376
00:22:19.120 --> 00:22:21.600
you don't just have to meet men on dating apps.

377
00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:24.120
I mean, a lot of us actually would prefer

378
00:22:24.120 --> 00:22:26.320
to meet men in real life, right?

379
00:22:26.620 --> 00:22:27.920
How many of you would be like, okay,

380
00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:31.580
if the Lord has my husband not on an app

381
00:22:31.580 --> 00:22:34.420
and I can meet him in real life, sign me up.

382
00:22:34.580 --> 00:22:36.380
Where's, where do I sign up?

383
00:22:36.380 --> 00:22:36.760
Right?

384
00:22:36.760 --> 00:22:37.700
That's how we want to,

385
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:40.280
but ladies, if we're not getting out and enjoying life,

386
00:22:40.520 --> 00:22:43.580
we're not meeting anybody, right?

387
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:45.940
Believe it or not,

388
00:22:46.220 --> 00:22:48.620
one thing that even prompts some of the ladies in here

389
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:51.720
is don't just go and mix, you know,

390
00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:53.120
eye contact and smile with men,

391
00:22:53.120 --> 00:22:56.120
but engage with other women as well.

392
00:22:56.680 --> 00:23:00.120
Cause you don't know what girl that you meet

393
00:23:00.360 --> 00:23:05.200
has a brother or an uncle or who knows what,

394
00:23:05.720 --> 00:23:08.920
a neighbor that is your spirit mate.

395
00:23:09.780 --> 00:23:12.120
My spirit mate came to me

396
00:23:12.120 --> 00:23:13.880
through one of the women in this program.

397
00:23:13.980 --> 00:23:19.240
She was on a dating group site

398
00:23:19.840 --> 00:23:21.940
cause I was like, I'm so done with this stuff.

399
00:23:21.940 --> 00:23:25.220
I'm so done with like having to, you know,

400
00:23:25.260 --> 00:23:26.880
filter through all these guys,

401
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:30.160
but she was on there and she saw a photo

402
00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:32.880
and she read his, my husband's profile.

403
00:23:32.940 --> 00:23:33.640
And she's like,

404
00:23:33.640 --> 00:23:35.420
she was already dating someone at that time,

405
00:23:35.420 --> 00:23:39.580
but she's like, I'm going to screenshot these to Carla

406
00:23:39.940 --> 00:23:41.820
and I'm going to see if she's interested.

407
00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:44.660
She ended up actually reaching out to him and saying,

408
00:23:44.700 --> 00:23:45.800
Hey, you got to meet my friend, Carla.

409
00:23:46.540 --> 00:23:49.100
He thought it was the craziest, strangest thing.

410
00:23:49.100 --> 00:23:51.560
Like, why is a woman reaching out to me

411
00:23:51.760 --> 00:23:53.720
to set me up with somebody else?

412
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:56.680
And so that was strange for him,

413
00:23:56.680 --> 00:23:59.640
but y'all know, like my husband was praying

414
00:23:59.640 --> 00:24:02.160
that God was going to have to bring his wife

415
00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:03.540
in a very weird way.

416
00:24:03.980 --> 00:24:06.300
And he's like, it doesn't get much weirder than that.

417
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:08.020
Somebody that I don't even know

418
00:24:08.020 --> 00:24:10.560
wants me to meet their friend that I don't know.

419
00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:14.680
And so he's like, okay, I guess I'm going to reach out to her

420
00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:16.540
and then the rest is history.

421
00:24:17.560 --> 00:24:20.760
So you never know who's going to connect you

422
00:24:20.760 --> 00:24:21.640
with your spirit mate.

423
00:24:22.080 --> 00:24:26.020
So go make friends, go meet somebody new.

424
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:28.020
You know, if you're at a bookstore

425
00:24:28.260 --> 00:24:30.700
and someone's like, strike up a conversation.

426
00:24:30.820 --> 00:24:33.120
And I know for some of us that are like introverts

427
00:24:33.120 --> 00:24:34.900
and that we're a little shy,

428
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:38.080
that that can be a little bit, you know, uncomfortable.

429
00:24:38.820 --> 00:24:41.800
But I want to encourage you to start getting uncomfortable.

430
00:24:43.040 --> 00:24:44.540
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

431
00:24:46.060 --> 00:24:48.580
That's something that the Lord spoke to me

432
00:24:48.580 --> 00:24:50.940
very, very early on when I joined this program

433
00:24:50.940 --> 00:24:53.480
was you're going to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

434
00:24:55.660 --> 00:24:57.180
Because when you get married,

435
00:24:57.720 --> 00:24:59.980
sometimes marriage can be a little uncomfortable at times.

436
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.000
You can get a little vulnerable, and that might be foreign to you,

437
00:25:04.120 --> 00:25:08.340
especially if maybe you were in a previous marriage where you weren't allowed to be vulnerable.

438
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:15.160
But God wants to bring you a husband that you can be vulnerable with,

439
00:25:15.740 --> 00:25:20.340
and he's going to have so much care and consideration and protection over your heart.

440
00:25:22.120 --> 00:25:26.420
And so I really just feel Holy Spirit on that.

441
00:25:26.420 --> 00:25:30.360
Let's start getting comfortable being uncomfortable, but let's really start.

442
00:25:30.660 --> 00:25:32.240
Let's start sparking joy.

443
00:25:32.820 --> 00:25:38.900
So I want to hear what are some things that you all like to do that make you smile,

444
00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:41.620
that make you laugh, that spark joy.

445
00:25:42.200 --> 00:25:46.100
Maybe it's just going out on a playground and swinging on the swing sets.

446
00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:52.520
I went and helped out with my son this morning, his fourth grade class,

447
00:25:53.300 --> 00:25:57.240
and they were doing a project at car pickup.

448
00:25:57.480 --> 00:26:03.980
They were trying to get people to donate playground equipment,

449
00:26:04.900 --> 00:26:08.660
like soccer balls and basketballs and footballs and hula hoops and jump ropes

450
00:26:08.660 --> 00:26:11.560
and all that kind of stuff because it's brand new, brand new school.

451
00:26:11.640 --> 00:26:13.020
We don't have any of that stuff.

452
00:26:15.020 --> 00:26:17.380
Our boys don't typically like to play on the playground.

453
00:26:18.180 --> 00:26:21.280
They want to play soccer and football.

454
00:26:22.100 --> 00:26:26.980
But this morning when we arrived, my son was like,

455
00:26:27.360 --> 00:26:29.000
Mom, what's everybody doing over there?

456
00:26:29.380 --> 00:26:31.260
The kids were swinging on the swing set.

457
00:26:32.260 --> 00:26:35.300
And one of the moms was like, My son never wants to play on this stuff,

458
00:26:35.340 --> 00:26:37.200
but he's over there swinging on the swing set.

459
00:26:37.280 --> 00:26:42.180
So maybe you want to tap into your inner child and you want to go swing on a swing set.

460
00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:46.420
And listen, when she likes dancing, girl, I love dancing.

461
00:26:46.540 --> 00:26:48.800
That was like my jam when I was single.

462
00:26:49.240 --> 00:26:51.120
My husband is not much of a dancer.

463
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:52.460
It's embarrassing.

464
00:26:53.020 --> 00:26:54.800
He thinks he's a good dancer and he's not.

465
00:26:55.600 --> 00:26:57.080
Don't tell him I said that.

466
00:26:58.460 --> 00:27:01.160
Skating, so ice skating or roller skating, that's good.

467
00:27:01.480 --> 00:27:08.180
So I want you to feel led this week to go do something that's just going to bring joy.

468
00:27:09.020 --> 00:27:09.660
All right.

469
00:27:09.900 --> 00:27:14.020
And then come back and report what it is that you did.

470
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:16.280
What sparked joy?

471
00:27:17.060 --> 00:27:18.180
What did God do?

472
00:27:19.040 --> 00:27:19.420
All right.

473
00:27:20.140 --> 00:27:24.020
Yeah, if you have grandchildren, play with those grandbabies, y'all.

474
00:27:25.500 --> 00:27:30.960
I mean, I was just at practice the other day and one of the moms has a,

475
00:27:30.980 --> 00:27:33.680
one of the players, he has like a little sister that's two years old.

476
00:27:33.700 --> 00:27:38.040
And she had a little plastic pony and she had this little plastic hairbrush.

477
00:27:38.040 --> 00:27:39.780
And she's like, play with me.

478
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:43.880
You know, she's like, comb the horsey's hair.

479
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:45.480
And so I did.

480
00:27:45.480 --> 00:27:48.060
I grabbed the thing and I'm like, okay, I'm going to play with the horsey.

481
00:27:48.100 --> 00:27:49.600
But kids love that.

482
00:27:49.800 --> 00:27:51.060
They want to play.

483
00:27:52.320 --> 00:27:53.880
So tap into that inner child.

484
00:27:54.800 --> 00:27:55.240
All right.

485
00:27:55.660 --> 00:27:55.960
Okay.

486
00:27:55.960 --> 00:27:57.460
I got ladies that want to share.

487
00:27:58.040 --> 00:28:01.960
I know, Allah, I want to hear from you how things are going with you.

488
00:28:02.300 --> 00:28:05.400
I've got Audrey, Liz, Meg, Karina.

489
00:28:06.380 --> 00:28:06.640
Awesome.

490
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:06.660
Okay.

491
00:28:06.660 --> 00:28:06.660


492
00:28:06.660 --> 00:28:09.160
So if you don't have time, anybody else, go ahead and put your hands up,

493
00:28:09.360 --> 00:28:09.760
please.

494
00:28:09.940 --> 00:28:12.840
We're going to try to be short, brief and powerful and get through this.

495
00:28:13.040 --> 00:28:13.320
I know.

496
00:28:13.660 --> 00:28:15.400
We all like to talk here.

497
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:16.540
Myself included.

498
00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:17.760
All right.

499
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:18.600
Audrey.

500
00:28:18.780 --> 00:28:20.800
I'm going to, I'm going to call you up first.

501
00:28:21.900 --> 00:28:22.780
What's going on, girl.

502
00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:24.700
Let's let's update.

503
00:28:25.600 --> 00:28:26.000
Okay.

504
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:26.720
I kinda,

505
00:28:27.180 --> 00:28:30.620
I kinda feel embarrassed to share this because I feel like, I mean,

506
00:28:30.620 --> 00:28:31.500
I made a mistake.

507
00:28:31.760 --> 00:28:32.960
I was out of line.

508
00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:35.640
And what I did.

509
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:39.800
But I do feel like I just need to share it.

510
00:28:39.840 --> 00:28:42.280
Like probably, probably partially externally processed,

511
00:28:42.380 --> 00:28:43.660
but I'll try to make it.

512
00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:46.660
Okay. So I was talking to that guy from Ireland.

513
00:28:47.340 --> 00:28:48.260
Yes. Yes.

514
00:28:48.520 --> 00:28:51.660
Guy you suggested mentioning the video call. So yes.

515
00:28:52.300 --> 00:28:55.300
I mentioned the video call. He seemed to kind of be.

516
00:28:55.760 --> 00:28:58.780
Backtracking or skirting a little bit and maybe saying some things about

517
00:28:58.780 --> 00:29:02.220
his schedule, you know, which is fine, you know, schedule concerns as well.

518
00:29:02.260 --> 00:29:06.000
But anyways, but he was like, yeah, we'll find time to, well, he's like,

519
00:29:06.020 --> 00:29:08.480
yeah, we'll find a time. We found a time. Then he was like, actually,

520
00:29:08.620 --> 00:29:10.700
let's do an audio call. Cause I'll be on the move.

521
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:14.180
And I was like, no, I mean, I kind of need a video call.

522
00:29:14.280 --> 00:29:14.940
Like if we can.

523
00:29:15.860 --> 00:29:19.260
So I said all that, this isn't even the point. So I said all that.

524
00:29:19.500 --> 00:29:21.620
And so we, so we were like, yeah, he was like,

525
00:29:21.640 --> 00:29:23.120
I'm going to find time for a video call. Okay.

526
00:29:24.460 --> 00:29:26.720
So I did something.

527
00:29:28.040 --> 00:29:32.580
So anyway, so I got curious and I went on it.

528
00:29:32.580 --> 00:29:34.680
So we've been talking voice memoing through Instagram.

529
00:29:35.780 --> 00:29:39.540
So I went and looked at who he follows on Instagram.

530
00:29:39.900 --> 00:29:40.420
Okay.

531
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:43.640
Yeah. So this is not even at the worst part yet.

532
00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:49.520
So I noticed he followed a lot of women and there were some women he

533
00:29:49.520 --> 00:29:52.000
follows that dress and very revealing clothing.

534
00:29:53.340 --> 00:29:56.440
Several, like it wasn't just, you know, one or three or.

535
00:29:56.440 --> 00:29:59.980
It was several and I got really concerned and really.

536
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.880
fearful, really upset. And so then I was like, I like went to

537
00:30:04.880 --> 00:30:07.800
prayer, I say prayer in parentheses. And I was like,

538
00:30:07.840 --> 00:30:11.200
God, what do I need to do what I do? And I immediately heard tell

539
00:30:11.060 --> 00:30:14.260
him. I don't know if that was him. That might have been my

540
00:30:14.260 --> 00:30:18.640
favorite in my song. So I ended up sending a voice memo telling

541
00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:24.680
him that I did that. And that it made me feel uncomfortable. And

542
00:30:24.760 --> 00:30:29.740
I also I was trying to do it in a way that wasn't accusatory or

543
00:30:29.740 --> 00:30:32.580
judgment or anything, but it probably came off that way. And

544
00:30:32.580 --> 00:30:35.820
I probably I know I shouldn't have did it. But I was saying,

545
00:30:36.140 --> 00:30:39.340
Hey, like, I know, I don't know you. And I'm sure you know, I

546
00:30:39.340 --> 00:30:42.340
have no idea about you or whatever. But I did do this, it

547
00:30:42.340 --> 00:30:49.360
did make me uncomfortable. Like, and I can't remember what else

548
00:30:49.360 --> 00:30:53.440
I said, I'm losing my train of thought. But um, I was like, I

549
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:56.240
felt led to just tell you my thought process that I was

550
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:58.820
uncomfortable as I saw this, you know, but this is my thought

551
00:30:58.820 --> 00:31:01.620
process. It's like, OMG, like, what is he looking at in his

552
00:31:01.620 --> 00:31:04.580
feed? Like, what is he opening his eyes to it makes me feel

553
00:31:04.580 --> 00:31:06.800
scared or uncomfortable. I didn't say scared, but

554
00:31:06.720 --> 00:31:09.220
uncomfortable. And so I was like, I know, I don't know you

555
00:31:09.300 --> 00:31:13.080
in. But I was just like, I wanted to share this thought

556
00:31:13.080 --> 00:31:17.720
process with you and be honest with you. As like, my brother in

557
00:31:17.720 --> 00:31:23.000
Christ. What's his response? So yeah, his response was, the next

558
00:31:23.000 --> 00:31:28.040
day, his response was, um, thank you for being honest with me

559
00:31:28.040 --> 00:31:30.640
about that. He said, This is actually really strange. I've

560
00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:33.540
not never had anyone share something like this with me

561
00:31:33.560 --> 00:31:36.800
before who doesn't know me. He's like, yeah, you don't know me.

562
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:43.380
And he was like, um, and then he was like, which this is what I

563
00:31:43.380 --> 00:31:46.960
was like, I needed to apologize for later, which I did. Like, he

564
00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:50.040
was like, you don't know me. You're forming opinions and

565
00:31:50.040 --> 00:31:56.780
assumptions about me that are not true. And he said, um,

566
00:31:57.360 --> 00:32:00.380
basically, he was, he was offended, he was upset, and then

567
00:32:00.380 --> 00:32:06.140
he blocked me. And so, but then upon receiving his feedback, I

568
00:32:06.140 --> 00:32:08.580
was like, okay, I think I was I was way out of line, I should

569
00:32:08.580 --> 00:32:11.660
not have said that outside of relationship context with him,

570
00:32:11.660 --> 00:32:14.900
because, you know, I shouldn't have even said any of that. Like

571
00:32:14.900 --> 00:32:19.980
that's not appropriate to talk to him about that without being

572
00:32:19.980 --> 00:32:23.980
in a relationship context, right? So I was like, yes, this

573
00:32:23.980 --> 00:32:27.920
was offensive. This was a boundary violation. So I felt

574
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:31.720
really bad and wanted to tell him, thank you for being honest

575
00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:36.720
with that. Thank you for sharing me giving me insight. But he had

576
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:40.280
blocked me. And so I ended up finding him on Facebook, just to

577
00:32:40.280 --> 00:32:45.040
write out an apology of like, I'm so sorry, I, you know, went

578
00:32:45.040 --> 00:32:48.360
and looked at your followers and went behind your back to do

579
00:32:48.360 --> 00:32:52.260
that. And I'm sorry that I formed opinions and assumptions

580
00:32:52.260 --> 00:32:55.760
without knowing you in a genuine relationship context. So I

581
00:32:55.760 --> 00:33:00.580
owned that and apologize. And then he did receive that

582
00:33:01.360 --> 00:33:06.080
message and said, Hey, thanks for this message. I hope you

583
00:33:06.080 --> 00:33:10.900
can understand my boundaries. And then he blocked me there. So

584
00:33:10.900 --> 00:33:15.740
so anyways, I had that experience. I definitely owned,

585
00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:21.680
owned like my mistake in bringing that up to him. Out of

586
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:24.860
fear. Here's the thing. I like there's a lot of teaching points

587
00:33:24.860 --> 00:33:28.040
that we can probably cover on this topic. And so I'm really

588
00:33:28.040 --> 00:33:33.540
thankful that you brought it. Okay. I like that you're kind of

589
00:33:33.540 --> 00:33:36.440
you're checking yourself of like, Oh, why did I do that?

590
00:33:36.540 --> 00:33:39.120
Because again, ladies, here's the thing. When we go searching

591
00:33:39.120 --> 00:33:43.140
for things about men, especially if we get suspicious, we're

592
00:33:43.140 --> 00:33:48.300
gonna find it. Okay. Honestly, I think you dodged a bullet with

593
00:33:48.300 --> 00:33:50.560
this guy. I think it was actually probably a blessing

594
00:33:51.260 --> 00:33:57.640
that you saw it and you mentioned it. Um, I want to

595
00:33:57.640 --> 00:34:00.800
encourage you ladies, don't go searching to be like

596
00:34:01.780 --> 00:34:04.840
investigate. And like you said, there's going to be tons of

597
00:34:04.840 --> 00:34:08.159
like, wow, like I am forming this judgment of somebody that I

598
00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:16.820
don't know. Okay. But what I will say is a divine masculine,

599
00:34:17.380 --> 00:34:21.679
mature man would have responded differently than he did.

600
00:34:24.179 --> 00:34:29.780
Okay, that's what I want. I think that is like, like, just

601
00:34:29.780 --> 00:34:33.280
I like I know you're sitting here like I made a mistake. I

602
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:37.580
needed to apologize. I needed to own it. And I get I love that

603
00:34:37.580 --> 00:34:44.179
that's your heart. A man that is marriage minded, masculine,

604
00:34:44.179 --> 00:34:47.940
mature, he's not going to respond in the way that he did

605
00:34:47.940 --> 00:34:53.960
that guy did. Because chances are, here's here's here was a

606
00:34:53.960 --> 00:34:59.980
yellow flag for me. He's dodging the video call. Yes. That to me.

607
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.420
is like, okay, you're dodging a video call.

608
00:35:03.040 --> 00:35:04.080
Oh, yeah, we can do it.

609
00:35:04.080 --> 00:35:05.420
No, I'm gonna put you on audio.

610
00:35:05.720 --> 00:35:08.440
No, dude, like, I'm thankful

611
00:35:08.440 --> 00:35:10.120
that you held your boundary there.

612
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:12.880
No, I need a video call.

613
00:35:13.300 --> 00:35:17.220
Ladies, do not feel bad for having boundaries.

614
00:35:18.940 --> 00:35:22.540
It's okay to wanna make sure that this person

615
00:35:22.540 --> 00:35:27.100
that you meet online is who they say they are, okay?

616
00:35:27.100 --> 00:35:29.360
Now, I don't want you ladies that are all gonna be like,

617
00:35:29.360 --> 00:35:31.260
oh, I'm like, you're always thinking

618
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:32.640
someone's gonna lie to you

619
00:35:32.760 --> 00:35:35.460
or is not who they say they are, okay?

620
00:35:35.460 --> 00:35:38.880
We have to have balance in this situation, okay?

621
00:35:39.200 --> 00:35:42.380
We wanna be cautious, but we don't wanna be so cautious

622
00:35:42.380 --> 00:35:45.460
that we're not like being God defended here.

623
00:35:46.120 --> 00:35:47.440
We wanna have healthy boundaries.

624
00:35:47.580 --> 00:35:51.500
That's why I love when we can come to this live sessions

625
00:35:51.500 --> 00:35:53.180
and we can have these conversations.

626
00:35:53.560 --> 00:35:55.340
And I can talk to Audrey

627
00:35:55.660 --> 00:35:57.360
because she's the one that's coming with me.

628
00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:58.680
And I see, you know what?

629
00:35:58.680 --> 00:36:00.800
She's setting some healthy boundaries

630
00:36:01.460 --> 00:36:02.960
and now she's sitting here thinking

631
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:04.140
that she needs to feel bad,

632
00:36:04.540 --> 00:36:07.640
which Audrey, I don't think you need to feel bad about that.

633
00:36:08.600 --> 00:36:09.880
I really don't.

634
00:36:10.220 --> 00:36:12.640
Now, some of you ladies that are on this call,

635
00:36:13.340 --> 00:36:16.700
you may be constantly looking to find a reason why

636
00:36:16.700 --> 00:36:18.440
to like a guy is not a good guy.

637
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:20.660
For you ladies,

638
00:36:20.780 --> 00:36:24.180
I would give you a different coaching advice, okay?

639
00:36:24.180 --> 00:36:27.360
But this guy in particular, in Audrey's situation,

640
00:36:28.340 --> 00:36:29.780
he probably wasn't genuine.

641
00:36:31.020 --> 00:36:33.340
He's over in Ireland, again, international.

642
00:36:34.220 --> 00:36:36.200
Like you gotta be careful with those international ones.

643
00:36:36.300 --> 00:36:38.620
I'm not saying that there are not men on there

644
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:42.600
that are legit and real and they're international, okay?

645
00:36:43.520 --> 00:36:44.400
Believe it or not,

646
00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:47.040
we have a lot of international marriages in this community.

647
00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:48.400
Okay?

648
00:36:49.520 --> 00:36:51.760
But these are things like,

649
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:53.680
that's why we encourage you ladies,

650
00:36:53.680 --> 00:36:58.780
get the video call ASAP, okay?

651
00:36:58.860 --> 00:37:01.580
Especially if they're long distance, okay?

652
00:37:01.580 --> 00:37:02.340
If they're long distance,

653
00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:04.760
you need to have that video call within the first week.

654
00:37:05.400 --> 00:37:05.880
Okay?

655
00:37:05.900 --> 00:37:08.780
And if they're long distance and we can make it happen,

656
00:37:09.260 --> 00:37:11.980
we want you meeting them in person within three weeks,

657
00:37:12.060 --> 00:37:13.220
no more than six weeks.

658
00:37:14.080 --> 00:37:14.560
Okay?

659
00:37:15.260 --> 00:37:16.360
Again, these are guardrails.

660
00:37:16.480 --> 00:37:17.460
They're not hard rules

661
00:37:17.460 --> 00:37:19.260
because every situation is gonna be different.

662
00:37:19.960 --> 00:37:21.300
But if you can't,

663
00:37:21.360 --> 00:37:22.860
we need to come to the community

664
00:37:22.860 --> 00:37:24.320
and let us know what's going on.

665
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:27.020
Because we can help you come up with solutions,

666
00:37:27.560 --> 00:37:28.720
ideas, all sorts of things.

667
00:37:30.140 --> 00:37:33.520
But Audrey, I really want you

668
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:35.460
to spend some time with Holy Spirit

669
00:37:35.580 --> 00:37:37.400
and I'm gonna make this suggestion to you

670
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:40.100
and you can give me your feedback here.

671
00:37:41.520 --> 00:37:43.960
What is that rooted in this feeling

672
00:37:44.500 --> 00:37:46.960
like you had to go apologize

673
00:37:47.840 --> 00:37:50.720
for his unacceptable response?

674
00:37:51.700 --> 00:37:54.160
Like what led you to feel

675
00:37:54.740 --> 00:37:57.900
that you had to go then after he blocked you,

676
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:01.580
that you had to go find him to apologize?

677
00:38:01.640 --> 00:38:02.860
I love that heart.

678
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:05.660
I think there's like a goodness in that.

679
00:38:06.980 --> 00:38:09.400
But what are you picking up

680
00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:11.580
when he responded the way that he did?

681
00:38:12.120 --> 00:38:15.380
I don't want you to take on his response

682
00:38:16.920 --> 00:38:19.220
and be down on yourself about that.

683
00:38:19.800 --> 00:38:20.900
Does that make sense?

684
00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:21.920
Yes.

685
00:38:22.140 --> 00:38:24.840
Okay, because I really think

686
00:38:25.300 --> 00:38:27.420
this was showing you were God defended.

687
00:38:28.720 --> 00:38:30.200
Like he blocked you,

688
00:38:30.380 --> 00:38:32.120
that was a, okay, Lord,

689
00:38:32.220 --> 00:38:36.220
you took him out before I really needed to do it myself.

690
00:38:37.060 --> 00:38:37.440
Yeah.

691
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:40.700
I want you to trust your instinct at times

692
00:38:41.260 --> 00:38:43.280
that, hey, I mean, I wouldn't, again,

693
00:38:43.300 --> 00:38:44.460
I wouldn't encourage you ladies

694
00:38:44.460 --> 00:38:47.060
to go like searching their social media

695
00:38:47.060 --> 00:38:48.140
and all that kind of stuff

696
00:38:48.140 --> 00:38:49.480
because you never know what you're gonna find.

697
00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:54.260
And again, if he wasn't being inappropriate,

698
00:38:54.460 --> 00:38:57.200
he would have been like, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.

699
00:38:58.100 --> 00:39:00.300
And he would have talked through it with you

700
00:39:00.300 --> 00:39:01.460
and he wouldn't have blocked you.

701
00:39:01.720 --> 00:39:05.060
He wouldn't, you know, like that's just the thing.

702
00:39:06.080 --> 00:39:10.420
But yeah, if they're following some scandalous,

703
00:39:12.580 --> 00:39:16.220
risque women on social media is probably not a good thing.

704
00:39:17.300 --> 00:39:20.180
Okay, and again, he was dodging that video call,

705
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:22.460
which was a yellow flag for me.

706
00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:25.600
And so that, I think just that yellow flag,

707
00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:26.320
guess what?

708
00:39:26.600 --> 00:39:29.440
It turned, it turned red.

709
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:33.200
It turned red when you brought it to his attention

710
00:39:33.200 --> 00:39:34.640
and your heart posture,

711
00:39:34.640 --> 00:39:36.920
when you came to him and talked to him about that

712
00:39:36.920 --> 00:39:38.620
and you allowed yourself to get vulnerable,

713
00:39:39.880 --> 00:39:44.880
just know a healthy, divine, masculine,

714
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:48.080
mature marriage-minded man is gonna handle it

715
00:39:48.080 --> 00:39:50.440
in a much better way.

716
00:39:51.300 --> 00:39:52.760
Okay, it doesn't mean that they're not gonna get offended.

717
00:39:53.380 --> 00:39:56.440
Y'all, I'm married and we've been married for two years

718
00:39:56.440 --> 00:39:58.360
and there's times that I offend my husband.

719
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.580
My husband doesn't respond to me in a way that shuts me out.

720
00:40:05.660 --> 00:40:07.300
It actually grows us closer.

721
00:40:07.940 --> 00:40:10.740
Like, okay, because he knows my heart is not to offend him.

722
00:40:11.140 --> 00:40:13.000
Just like when he offends me,

723
00:40:13.040 --> 00:40:14.800
because believe it or not, he offends me sometimes.

724
00:40:15.120 --> 00:40:17.600
I know his heart posture is not to offend me.

725
00:40:18.300 --> 00:40:20.880
And it's our opportunity to work together

726
00:40:22.180 --> 00:40:24.480
so that we remove any of those offenses.

727
00:40:25.180 --> 00:40:27.040
Because remember what Jackie says,

728
00:40:27.760 --> 00:40:30.960
if you're offended, it's typically, it's a heart issue.

729
00:40:32.140 --> 00:40:34.700
It's something inward that you now have the opportunity.

730
00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:36.400
And with your person,

731
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:39.220
it's actually going to grow you closer together.

732
00:40:39.640 --> 00:40:41.860
And it's also gonna grow you deeper

733
00:40:41.860 --> 00:40:43.060
in your intimacy with the Lord.

734
00:40:43.960 --> 00:40:45.040
It really will.

735
00:40:46.340 --> 00:40:47.900
Okay, so thank you.

736
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:50.020
I know you said you were embarrassed by that.

737
00:40:50.020 --> 00:40:51.880
I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about

738
00:40:51.880 --> 00:40:55.240
because, I mean, I used to do that too.

739
00:40:55.720 --> 00:40:58.140
I used to go searchin', all right?

740
00:40:58.280 --> 00:41:00.900
I would, I mean, and I've messed up in my marriage sometimes

741
00:41:00.900 --> 00:41:02.160
and have said things that I'm like,

742
00:41:02.180 --> 00:41:03.680
ooh, I really made a mistake.

743
00:41:04.380 --> 00:41:04.800
Yeah.

744
00:41:05.120 --> 00:41:06.620
Ladies, like mistakes are gonna happen

745
00:41:06.620 --> 00:41:07.820
and it's totally okay.

746
00:41:08.700 --> 00:41:12.280
And so it's when we can come here, we can release it,

747
00:41:12.460 --> 00:41:15.060
we can share it, and you can get some solid coaching.

748
00:41:15.160 --> 00:41:16.940
And I hope that it's given you reassurance

749
00:41:16.940 --> 00:41:20.880
to know like, you dodged a bullet with that one.

750
00:41:21.240 --> 00:41:22.700
I really, really do.

751
00:41:23.300 --> 00:41:24.420
Like, I didn't like the fact

752
00:41:24.420 --> 00:41:26.600
that he was skirting along that video call.

753
00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:27.320
Really didn't.

754
00:41:27.540 --> 00:41:29.740
And so when you shared that

755
00:41:29.740 --> 00:41:31.580
and he went ahead and just blocked,

756
00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:35.740
girl, you were getting in on,

757
00:41:36.100 --> 00:41:38.100
you were starting to figure him out.

758
00:41:38.560 --> 00:41:39.960
He was like, oh no.

759
00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:42.520
He thought he had it like hook, line, and sinker.

760
00:41:42.520 --> 00:41:43.660
Oh, I got this girl.

761
00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:45.800
Like, I'm gonna be able to manipulate her.

762
00:41:45.860 --> 00:41:47.940
And you're like, no, I need a video call.

763
00:41:49.160 --> 00:41:51.080
Okay, now there's some things

764
00:41:51.080 --> 00:41:51.920
that are making me uncomfortable

765
00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:53.420
with the women that you follow.

766
00:41:54.200 --> 00:41:56.560
And he's like, uh-oh, she found me out.

767
00:41:57.740 --> 00:42:00.560
So he's getting himself out of the line of fire.

768
00:42:01.420 --> 00:42:02.380
Yeah, yeah.

769
00:42:02.380 --> 00:42:03.760
I think you dodged a bullet.

770
00:42:03.920 --> 00:42:05.460
I don't think you should feel bad.

771
00:42:06.380 --> 00:42:08.600
You know, I think there's some learning opportunities there

772
00:42:08.600 --> 00:42:09.640
that you can uncover.

773
00:42:09.820 --> 00:42:11.420
Okay, what's my fear?

774
00:42:11.780 --> 00:42:12.260
Yeah.

775
00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:13.220
You know?

776
00:42:13.680 --> 00:42:13.920
Yeah.

777
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:17.660
Again, your spirit mate

778
00:42:18.120 --> 00:42:20.100
is not gonna respond to you in that way.

779
00:42:20.100 --> 00:42:24.860
Yeah, I think that is what I really needed to hear too,

780
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:28.120
because I'm like, my heart longs

781
00:42:28.120 --> 00:42:30.840
for someone to hold space and capacity

782
00:42:30.920 --> 00:42:36.160
for even the mistakes, even the fears, even the stuff.

783
00:42:36.280 --> 00:42:41.240
My heart longs for a man to hold space for me.

784
00:42:41.980 --> 00:42:45.740
And like, yeah, like you said, even in offense,

785
00:42:45.940 --> 00:42:48.700
like let's dialogue and talk this out.

786
00:42:48.700 --> 00:42:52.220
It was the block that like really bothered me, the block.

787
00:42:52.620 --> 00:42:54.180
I was never been blocked before.

788
00:42:54.560 --> 00:42:57.080
And it was like, why would you block me?

789
00:42:57.380 --> 00:42:59.140
Like, let's dialogue.

790
00:42:59.580 --> 00:43:00.320
But this is where,

791
00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:02.680
so ladies, this is where that discovery dating is.

792
00:43:02.680 --> 00:43:03.980
This is part of discovery dating.

793
00:43:04.240 --> 00:43:06.840
You realize like, Audrey's finding out like,

794
00:43:07.480 --> 00:43:10.240
I know what I like and I know what I don't like.

795
00:43:11.100 --> 00:43:15.080
And God is revealing to her the heart of her husband.

796
00:43:16.120 --> 00:43:16.640
Wow.

797
00:43:16.640 --> 00:43:18.160
What the heart of her husband.

798
00:43:18.160 --> 00:43:20.360
I got Holy Spirit on that one.

799
00:43:22.020 --> 00:43:24.140
He is revealing that to you.

800
00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:29.100
He's giving you glimpses of what his desire is

801
00:43:29.140 --> 00:43:32.100
for your mate and who he has for you.

802
00:43:32.940 --> 00:43:35.020
So you're seeing what it doesn't look like.

803
00:43:35.080 --> 00:43:36.720
And you're like, no, but I really desire that.

804
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:38.220
I want someone to leave me space.

805
00:43:38.300 --> 00:43:39.300
I want the grace.

806
00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:41.080
I tell that to you ladies all the time.

807
00:43:41.080 --> 00:43:43.340
If you've been in here for a hot minute,

808
00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:45.600
you know, I will tell you ladies,

809
00:43:46.560 --> 00:43:49.260
you have to practice giving grace to men in this community

810
00:43:49.680 --> 00:43:50.920
and in your dating,

811
00:43:51.320 --> 00:43:53.860
because you're going to have to give grace to your husband.

812
00:43:55.040 --> 00:43:58.400
I have to give grace to my husband often,

813
00:43:59.240 --> 00:43:59.980
but guess what?

814
00:44:00.380 --> 00:44:03.260
He also has to give grace to me often.

815
00:44:05.380 --> 00:44:09.880
Like, and divine masculine and divine feminine

816
00:44:09.980 --> 00:44:12.860
and mature marriage-minded, Christ-centered.

817
00:44:13.840 --> 00:44:16.800
There's going to be a heart posture there of humbling.

818
00:44:18.140 --> 00:44:21.260
And so I know that, you know,

819
00:44:21.260 --> 00:44:23.960
your husband is going to be that safe place for you.

820
00:44:24.080 --> 00:44:25.580
That's the divine masculine.

821
00:44:26.560 --> 00:44:29.420
He's there to protect and to be that safe space.

822
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:33.160
And so I think it was a blessing

823
00:44:33.160 --> 00:44:34.680
that you had this experience.

824
00:44:34.900 --> 00:44:37.800
And again, in these moments where you ladies

825
00:44:37.800 --> 00:44:39.920
are like getting some of these men

826
00:44:39.920 --> 00:44:43.620
that, you know, they're not nice or they're nasty,

827
00:44:43.620 --> 00:44:45.720
and it can really be discouraging

828
00:44:45.720 --> 00:44:47.020
and it can really get us upset.

829
00:44:47.120 --> 00:44:48.460
But I really want you ladies

830
00:44:48.460 --> 00:44:51.580
to really spend time digging in with Holy Spirit

831
00:44:51.860 --> 00:44:56.000
on what is He revealing to you about your future spirit mate.

832
00:44:57.420 --> 00:44:59.940
Take these opportunities of disappointment.

833
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.300
and be like, okay, Lord, what are you showing me here?

834
00:45:03.700 --> 00:45:06.260
So, Audrey, he's showing you the heart

835
00:45:06.260 --> 00:45:07.540
of what your husband is like,

836
00:45:08.720 --> 00:45:10.420
what your husband's heart's going to be like,

837
00:45:10.740 --> 00:45:12.260
and it is going to have space for you.

838
00:45:12.300 --> 00:45:14.200
It's going to have space in these moments of,

839
00:45:14.740 --> 00:45:15.980
okay, this is making me uncomfortable,

840
00:45:16.260 --> 00:45:18.540
and I really want to talk this out.

841
00:45:19.860 --> 00:45:21.840
Like that right there, ladies,

842
00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:23.640
that's when we're saying look for the three Ms.

843
00:45:24.600 --> 00:45:25.940
That's one of the three Ms.

844
00:45:26.680 --> 00:45:29.740
Okay, you're going to have conflict in dating,

845
00:45:30.080 --> 00:45:32.000
and you're going to have conflict in relationship.

846
00:45:32.640 --> 00:45:34.780
It's how people show up,

847
00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:38.060
and they're allowed to make mistakes too.

848
00:45:38.540 --> 00:45:39.680
We're allowed to make mistakes.

849
00:45:39.880 --> 00:45:42.360
Ladies, I love it when you all come to me and say,

850
00:45:42.500 --> 00:45:45.080
I made a mistake because chances are I probably made

851
00:45:45.080 --> 00:45:48.080
that mistake a hundred million times when I was single.

852
00:45:49.320 --> 00:45:52.180
So, Audrey, again, thank you so much.

853
00:45:52.840 --> 00:45:55.140
I think you've blessed all of us with that.

854
00:45:55.140 --> 00:45:57.160
I hope you all were able to take a little bit

855
00:45:57.160 --> 00:45:57.860
of wisdom from that.

856
00:45:58.120 --> 00:46:00.120
I hope it blessed all of you.

857
00:46:00.120 --> 00:46:01.240
Thank you so much, Carla.

858
00:46:01.780 --> 00:46:01.960
Woo!

859
00:46:02.380 --> 00:46:03.260
Thank you.

860
00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:04.440
I love this community.

861
00:46:04.760 --> 00:46:05.900
That was good.

862
00:46:05.900 --> 00:46:07.300
That was really good.

863
00:46:08.080 --> 00:46:09.880
Free spirit is so good, right?

864
00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:12.000
All right, Liz, you're up next.

865
00:46:12.060 --> 00:46:12.920
How are you?

866
00:46:15.820 --> 00:46:16.760
Oh, you're muted.

867
00:46:16.760 --> 00:46:16.800
I'm muted.

868
00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:24.760
There you go.

869
00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:26.320


870
00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:26.920
How are you?

871
00:46:28.360 --> 00:46:28.900
I'm okay.

872
00:46:29.020 --> 00:46:29.940
What about you guys?

873
00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:31.800
We are good.

874
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:36.500
Okay, this is my first time sharing.

875
00:46:36.520 --> 00:46:37.340
That's okay.

876
00:46:38.420 --> 00:46:39.760
I'm a bit nervous.

877
00:46:42.280 --> 00:46:45.020
Okay, so I had my first date

878
00:46:45.020 --> 00:46:47.100
with a certain guy I met at shopping.

879
00:46:48.020 --> 00:46:52.020
My first issue was going out and meeting new people.

880
00:46:52.740 --> 00:46:54.720
So I've tried going shopping.

881
00:46:55.320 --> 00:46:57.460
And last week, last Saturday,

882
00:46:57.640 --> 00:47:00.220
I went to a church community for singles.

883
00:47:00.520 --> 00:47:02.280
It was something very good.

884
00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:03.160
I enjoyed.

885
00:47:03.860 --> 00:47:04.400
I'm happy.

886
00:47:05.020 --> 00:47:09.060
I had fun meeting other people who are single

887
00:47:09.120 --> 00:47:11.920
and we had so many things to learn.

888
00:47:13.040 --> 00:47:17.160
But I had issues with the first dates that I had

889
00:47:17.160 --> 00:47:18.920
and you told me to come in

890
00:47:18.920 --> 00:47:21.560
so that we may discuss a bit about him.

891
00:47:22.120 --> 00:47:22.120


892
00:47:22.560 --> 00:47:24.620
So this is the guy that you met.

893
00:47:26.580 --> 00:47:28.880
He was working at one of the stores

894
00:47:28.880 --> 00:47:30.220
that you were shopping at, right?

895
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:31.660
Yes, yes.

896
00:47:31.860 --> 00:47:35.160
And he started coming out the gate asking you,

897
00:47:35.380 --> 00:47:37.460
like, who do you live with?

898
00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:38.440
Yeah.

899
00:47:38.500 --> 00:47:39.160
At the one.

900
00:47:39.200 --> 00:47:40.960
And then you ended up going out on a date

901
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:44.240
and then he asked if he could walk you to your car

902
00:47:45.260 --> 00:47:46.380
or walk you home.

903
00:47:46.460 --> 00:47:48.980
Was it to your car or to walk you home?

904
00:47:49.540 --> 00:47:49.660
Home.

905
00:47:50.620 --> 00:47:53.460
Yes, and y'all, she did good.

906
00:47:54.720 --> 00:47:55.340
Liz did awesome.

907
00:47:55.440 --> 00:47:57.780
She's like, no, you cannot.

908
00:47:59.000 --> 00:48:00.040
This is a first date.

909
00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:01.500
She didn't know who he is.

910
00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:03.540
And he wants, I mean, again,

911
00:48:03.580 --> 00:48:06.500
some men feel like that might be the chivalrous thing to do,

912
00:48:06.560 --> 00:48:09.060
especially a man that maybe has a good heart in it, okay?

913
00:48:09.060 --> 00:48:11.860
There are gonna be men that will do that

914
00:48:11.860 --> 00:48:13.380
because they have a good heart,

915
00:48:13.500 --> 00:48:16.340
but we don't know that yet, okay?

916
00:48:16.520 --> 00:48:18.660
So she put up the boundary and she's like, no.

917
00:48:18.760 --> 00:48:20.780
And then his response was,

918
00:48:21.140 --> 00:48:23.000
well, will you escort me to my house?

919
00:48:24.740 --> 00:48:25.640
No, sir.

920
00:48:28.100 --> 00:48:29.740
No, absolutely not.

921
00:48:32.040 --> 00:48:33.700
So you told him no.

922
00:48:33.700 --> 00:48:35.860
And then what has his response been?

923
00:48:36.120 --> 00:48:38.500
Have you still been contacting him

924
00:48:38.500 --> 00:48:40.440
and pulling up your posts now

925
00:48:40.440 --> 00:48:42.340
so I can even refresh my memory some more?

926
00:48:43.420 --> 00:48:44.980
Yeah, we have been talking.

927
00:48:45.700 --> 00:48:45.760
Okay.

928
00:48:45.780 --> 00:48:48.480
So his response was, okay,

929
00:48:48.500 --> 00:48:50.040
so when are you going to be comfortable?

930
00:48:50.380 --> 00:48:54.780
I told him when we get to know each other well,

931
00:48:55.220 --> 00:48:58.020
then we will discuss if we can come at my house

932
00:48:58.020 --> 00:48:58.840
or at your house.

933
00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:00.200
But for now, I'm not comfortable

934
00:49:00.500 --> 00:49:02.340
because we are still strangers.

935
00:49:03.060 --> 00:49:07.020
Then he said, no, he just left the topic like that.

936
00:49:07.020 --> 00:49:09.440
So sometimes he brings up the topic

937
00:49:09.820 --> 00:49:16.320
if maybe if I ask about his preferences in food

938
00:49:16.320 --> 00:49:17.560
or something like that,

939
00:49:17.780 --> 00:49:20.540
he says maybe you can come and cook for me

940
00:49:20.540 --> 00:49:23.480
or I can come at your house and you cook for me this food,

941
00:49:23.720 --> 00:49:26.520
which I like, which I declined also.

942
00:49:27.400 --> 00:49:27.580
Yeah.

943
00:49:27.940 --> 00:49:31.180
So on Sunday, we were supposed to have a second date.

944
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:34.880
I told you he calls me the pet names like my love and-

945
00:49:34.880 --> 00:49:35.860
Yeah, I don't like that either.

946
00:49:35.860 --> 00:49:37.800
He's calling you like wifey.

947
00:49:38.280 --> 00:49:42.080
Have you, when he's done that,

948
00:49:42.100 --> 00:49:44.120
are you putting up a boundary and saying,

949
00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:47.000
hey, I'm flattered,

950
00:49:47.700 --> 00:49:52.300
but can we please wait for that type of talk

951
00:49:52.300 --> 00:49:53.740
until we've gotten to know each other better?

952
00:49:54.920 --> 00:49:58.000
So the first time I'd not say anything,

953
00:49:58.140 --> 00:49:59.600
I just ignored the names.

954
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.860
So, that day when I shared with you guys, you told me to tell him to stop.

955
00:50:05.220 --> 00:50:11.500
So, I told him, I shared with him on Sunday, before our date, then he just said okay.

956
00:50:12.280 --> 00:50:17.300
Then I asked him about the date, at what time will we meet, because we were supposed to meet

957
00:50:17.340 --> 00:50:27.260
after he closes his shop. So, he called, then he said, he was in a very noisy place, so I could

958
00:50:27.260 --> 00:50:36.440
not hear him. Then after that, he said we should chat instead of talking, but he never got back to

959
00:50:36.720 --> 00:50:46.260
me until today. So, he got back to me today and he was like, my phone broke, I could not reach back

960
00:50:46.260 --> 00:50:53.860
to you on time. Then I told him, okay, so what happened to your phone? He just told me it broke

961
00:50:53.860 --> 00:51:01.780
and he could not reach me until today. He missed me a lot and he told me, can you come to my

962
00:51:03.220 --> 00:51:11.320
shop today? I told him, no, I have a Zoom meeting today, so I won't be able to come, maybe tomorrow.

963
00:51:12.240 --> 00:51:18.680
So, that is it. Are there any qualities about him that you like?

964
00:51:22.340 --> 00:51:30.460
The only thing that I have noticed that it's common to both of us, he likes gym and I also like

965
00:51:30.880 --> 00:51:38.340
working out. Most of the things, I really do not know him that much, because even when we chat or

966
00:51:38.680 --> 00:51:46.240
we talk to each other, it's just greetings. It's not those kind of calls that you can get to know

967
00:51:46.240 --> 00:51:54.560
someone. I mean, I'm having some concerns because it sounds a lot to me like he's love bombing you,

968
00:51:57.080 --> 00:52:02.260
which for ladies that don't know what that is, it's like a complete stranger just being like,

969
00:52:02.380 --> 00:52:12.140
oh, I miss you. Oh, hey wife, how are you doing? He's calling her wife, he's telling her that he's

970
00:52:12.140 --> 00:52:16.340
you've only gone on the one date, right? You guys haven't had the second date yet.

971
00:52:16.780 --> 00:52:24.560
Gone on one date y'all and he wanted to escort her to, he wanted to come to her house and when

972
00:52:24.560 --> 00:52:32.960
she said no, he wanted her to come to his house. Ladies, to me, these are red flags.

973
00:52:34.540 --> 00:52:40.220
So, Liz, I'm not going to sit here and tell you what you have to do or what you need to do,

974
00:52:40.220 --> 00:52:45.040
because you're going to have to come to that conclusion yourself. But I really do want you to

975
00:52:45.040 --> 00:52:53.540
spend time. Is this someone that you really feel comfortable with? Do you feel comfortable

976
00:52:53.540 --> 00:53:02.160
with someone pushing your boundaries and not respecting boundaries? Ladies, I get this story a

977
00:53:02.160 --> 00:53:08.280
lot and I share it out of experience. My husband wanted to kiss me on our first date and I told him

978
00:53:08.280 --> 00:53:21.220
no. He didn't push the issue. He respected it and he was constantly asking me, do you mind if I hold

979
00:53:21.220 --> 00:53:26.060
your hand? Do you mind this? How are you feeling about this? He was very intentional about

980
00:53:26.980 --> 00:53:33.180
what I was feeling and how I felt. He wanted to make sure that I felt comfortable around him.

981
00:53:34.440 --> 00:53:45.900
Ladies, that's important. Okay. Your boundaries are important. And so, Liz, what's concerning me

982
00:53:45.900 --> 00:53:51.620
is it doesn't sound like he's catching what your boundaries are and he's not respecting them.

983
00:53:52.100 --> 00:53:58.800
He's constantly seeing how far he can push to see what you're going to give in. And ladies,

984
00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:05.360
that's where it can get dangerous, ladies, especially for some of us that are like,

985
00:54:07.720 --> 00:54:13.720
okay, maybe I'm not being nice enough. Maybe I'm not giving him a chance, all that kind of stuff.

986
00:54:14.100 --> 00:54:21.460
And those guys will do that. They will see where you're not sure and they're going to keep coming

987
00:54:21.460 --> 00:54:30.920
at it. It's important that you hold boundaries, but again, this is always about balance. Balance

988
00:54:30.920 --> 00:54:39.940
is so key. Your divine feminine can come out, but you also need to have that balance of being able

989
00:54:39.940 --> 00:54:46.480
to have good, healthy boundaries too. All right. Some of us have the walls up and some of us don't

990
00:54:46.480 --> 00:54:55.460
have any walls. We got to find the happy medium here. Okay. But Liz, this guy I have concerns with

991
00:54:56.560 --> 00:54:59.580
that he is not respecting your boundaries.

992
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.560
He's constantly pushing that issue,

993
00:55:02.960 --> 00:55:07.240
wanting to get you somewhere where it's not public.

994
00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:14.300
Even coming to his shop when it's closing, like, no.

995
00:55:16.920 --> 00:55:18.140
No. All right, ladies.

996
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:19.940
Again, I'm not trying because there's going to be

997
00:55:19.940 --> 00:55:22.700
some of you ladies that are on alert and this is going to be like,

998
00:55:22.700 --> 00:55:25.860
oh my gosh, and I get that.

999
00:55:26.760 --> 00:55:29.740
But this is where we have to come into community and we

1000
00:55:29.740 --> 00:55:33.220
will help you walk through that, all right?

1001
00:55:33.880 --> 00:55:37.220
You don't know this man, all right?

1002
00:55:37.740 --> 00:55:42.240
Ladies, it's so important that when you're out dating in level one,

1003
00:55:42.400 --> 00:55:45.400
level two, that you are in public places.

1004
00:55:45.680 --> 00:55:47.180
You're not going to people's houses,

1005
00:55:47.300 --> 00:55:48.860
you're not inviting them to your house.

1006
00:55:49.480 --> 00:55:51.300
That's so, so important.

1007
00:55:51.380 --> 00:55:53.920
I hate to share this information,

1008
00:55:54.220 --> 00:55:58.860
but we've had women in this program that have not followed that,

1009
00:55:58.860 --> 00:56:02.060
and unfortunately, they've gotten themselves hurt because of it.

1010
00:56:03.880 --> 00:56:07.820
It's so important in our community that you ladies are safe,

1011
00:56:08.080 --> 00:56:10.360
and so I just, Liz,

1012
00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:11.900
I just don't get,

1013
00:56:12.080 --> 00:56:14.160
I get a lot of red flags with this guy.

1014
00:56:15.780 --> 00:56:16.800
Thank you so much.

1015
00:56:16.800 --> 00:56:18.480
How are you feeling with that?

1016
00:56:18.580 --> 00:56:21.160
Were you feeling it and just felt like maybe you

1017
00:56:21.160 --> 00:56:25.620
just needed someone else to share that with you, or?

1018
00:56:25.620 --> 00:56:30.560
Yes, I felt like he's pushing me towards something that I do not want.

1019
00:56:31.040 --> 00:56:36.720
I wanted to ask you guys so that you may help me.

1020
00:56:38.060 --> 00:56:41.140
Because there are times you feel like maybe you're being

1021
00:56:41.140 --> 00:56:44.420
mean or not doing something good,

1022
00:56:44.780 --> 00:56:46.220
you're being antisocial and stuff.

1023
00:56:48.940 --> 00:56:53.460
Ladies, again, it's that fine line of it's about setting boundaries,

1024
00:56:53.460 --> 00:56:55.520
and you did that so well,

1025
00:56:55.640 --> 00:56:57.860
and he's not respecting it.

1026
00:56:58.240 --> 00:57:00.700
That feeling of discomfort and you're like,

1027
00:57:01.140 --> 00:57:02.180
okay, I don't like this,

1028
00:57:02.380 --> 00:57:03.300
this is not what I want.

1029
00:57:04.300 --> 00:57:06.220
That's your boundary saying,

1030
00:57:06.580 --> 00:57:08.480
this person's not respecting it,

1031
00:57:09.440 --> 00:57:11.600
and that's when you can bless and block.

1032
00:57:12.100 --> 00:57:14.180
You literally can bless and block this guy.

1033
00:57:15.260 --> 00:57:16.460
Okay. Thank you so much.

1034
00:57:18.720 --> 00:57:20.860
Again, ladies, I will always leave it up to you.

1035
00:57:20.940 --> 00:57:22.840
Do you want to, you ladies can decide,

1036
00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:23.940
okay, I'm going to say, hey,

1037
00:57:23.940 --> 00:57:25.600
I just don't see this going anywhere romantically.

1038
00:57:26.100 --> 00:57:28.900
I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

1039
00:57:29.900 --> 00:57:31.560
You can say that to him.

1040
00:57:32.220 --> 00:57:33.980
Sometimes you don't even want to engage in that.

1041
00:57:34.080 --> 00:57:37.020
That's why sometimes it's okay to just bless them and block them,

1042
00:57:37.040 --> 00:57:38.360
and not even give them a reason.

1043
00:57:38.820 --> 00:57:43.760
Because what you have to be very careful of is you can give him the,

1044
00:57:44.160 --> 00:57:45.380
I don't see this going anywhere,

1045
00:57:45.500 --> 00:57:49.560
and these men that will sometimes want to sit there,

1046
00:57:49.560 --> 00:57:54.500
and then they're going to try to figure a way to come pull at your heartstrings.

1047
00:57:55.820 --> 00:57:57.640
That's why it's okay at times,

1048
00:57:57.780 --> 00:57:59.940
ladies, don't feel bad to bless and block.

1049
00:58:01.080 --> 00:58:02.620
I've had to do it.

1050
00:58:04.080 --> 00:58:05.520
No, boy, bye.

1051
00:58:06.600 --> 00:58:09.680
You don't have to tell them why you're blocking them.

1052
00:58:10.960 --> 00:58:12.620
That's part of being God-defended.

1053
00:58:15.240 --> 00:58:19.760
Utilize that as your godly intuition instinct.

1054
00:58:20.040 --> 00:58:20.920
You're putting up a boundary.

1055
00:58:21.180 --> 00:58:22.160
He's not respecting it.

1056
00:58:22.300 --> 00:58:23.380
It's making you uncomfortable.

1057
00:58:24.860 --> 00:58:26.640
Now you're starting to feel bad.

1058
00:58:26.760 --> 00:58:28.720
No, don't feel bad. This is not what I want.

1059
00:58:28.880 --> 00:58:30.280
I don't want this.

1060
00:58:30.720 --> 00:58:32.580
It's clear he's not respecting my boundaries.

1061
00:58:33.220 --> 00:58:35.520
All right. Sorry, sir.

1062
00:58:36.040 --> 00:58:37.340
You don't get access.

1063
00:58:38.020 --> 00:58:39.180
I'm closing that gate.

1064
00:58:40.340 --> 00:58:40.840
Boy, bye.

1065
00:58:41.400 --> 00:58:45.320
All right. Thank you so much for coming and sharing.

1066
00:58:45.580 --> 00:58:47.040
I hope that's helpful to you.

1067
00:58:47.620 --> 00:58:49.540
I hope that's helpful for a lot of you ladies.

1068
00:58:51.140 --> 00:58:51.540
Thank you.

1069
00:58:51.840 --> 00:58:52.420
You're welcome.

1070
00:58:53.540 --> 00:58:56.500
Hey, Meg from Chicago. How are you?

1071
00:58:57.060 --> 00:58:58.840
Hi, Carla. Hi, everybody.

1072
00:59:00.900 --> 00:59:02.280
What's your question? What you got?

1073
00:59:03.220 --> 00:59:05.360
Well, there's more I wanted to share with you,

1074
00:59:05.460 --> 00:59:07.800
kind of update what's going on and hear your thoughts.

1075
00:59:08.060 --> 00:59:08.240
Yes.

1076
00:59:08.800 --> 00:59:13.040
You remember I'm the one who has the friend for everybody else.

1077
00:59:13.200 --> 00:59:16.140
We've been friends since we're about 21 and we're now 48.

1078
00:59:17.140 --> 00:59:17.140


1079
00:59:17.360 --> 00:59:17.800
On and off.

1080
00:59:17.880 --> 00:59:19.440
But he was married and now he's not.

1081
00:59:20.080 --> 00:59:22.920
And, you know, I went this past week.

1082
00:59:22.940 --> 00:59:24.640
I just got home last night.

1083
00:59:24.880 --> 00:59:25.740
How'd it go?

1084
00:59:26.280 --> 00:59:27.060
It went really well.

1085
00:59:27.080 --> 00:59:29.620
Before I get into it, I will tell you the previous slightly

1086
00:59:29.620 --> 00:59:32.220
hairy situation he did end up apologizing for.

1087
00:59:32.900 --> 00:59:33.380
OK.

1088
00:59:33.660 --> 00:59:37.940
He sent me just a funny little meme of a guy who was on a date

1089
00:59:37.940 --> 00:59:41.020
romantic weekend with his girlfriend, and he ruined it by saying

1090
00:59:41.020 --> 00:59:41.840
what he really thought.

1091
00:59:42.880 --> 00:59:45.360
Oh, it's just kind of like a little, you know what I mean?

1092
00:59:45.380 --> 00:59:46.500
Just kind of like a funny.

1093
00:59:47.100 --> 00:59:48.540
Yeah. It screwed up.

1094
00:59:51.180 --> 00:59:53.340
OK, so he did that and you're like,

1095
00:59:53.500 --> 00:59:57.280
how did he know that that was not OK for him to do?

1096
00:59:58.060 --> 00:59:59.900
He didn't know, actually, we would just.

1097
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.760
think he's he has a conscience. Do you know what I mean? I

1098
01:00:03.760 --> 01:00:05.220
really do respond to him though.

1099
01:00:06.580 --> 01:00:09.880
I didn't know. I pretended that that's not what he was referring

1100
01:00:09.880 --> 01:00:12.560
to that he was just sending something really funny. Because

1101
01:00:12.560 --> 01:00:15.160
I didn't want to make any beliefs or assumptions. And I

1102
01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:18.680
just, I just said, that's a really funny one. I said, good,

1103
01:00:19.020 --> 01:00:20.940
you know, and I just said, Tell me what are you thinking right

1104
01:00:20.940 --> 01:00:23.400
now at this very second? You know what I mean? I just kind of

1105
01:00:23.400 --> 01:00:26.780
tried to be very tongue in cheek about it and make light of it

1106
01:00:26.780 --> 01:00:31.200
and not serious since we are just friends historically, and

1107
01:00:31.200 --> 01:00:33.980
we really haven't talked about well, and you have some were

1108
01:00:33.980 --> 01:00:37.440
like, there's there's history there. Like, you know, each

1109
01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:39.660
other, there's going to be a comfort level there. Yeah,

1110
01:00:39.660 --> 01:00:42.480
there's a comfort. There's a safety with one another. Yeah,

1111
01:00:42.600 --> 01:00:46.580
absolutely. So I went this week that I went for about five days.

1112
01:00:47.040 --> 01:00:51.160
Okay. And he started texting me the moment I got there. And he

1113
01:00:51.160 --> 01:00:53.380
would text me in the evenings, he would text me in the

1114
01:00:53.520 --> 01:00:57.220
mornings, what are you up to? And my best friend who lives

1115
01:00:57.220 --> 01:00:59.920
there said, See, I was expecting this. See, now you're here. And

1116
01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:05.020
now it's real for him. You know, so we had made plans to go out

1117
01:01:05.020 --> 01:01:10.380
on Friday night. Okay, he picked me up. And we talked nonstop for

1118
01:01:10.380 --> 01:01:14.580
five hours, like nonstop for five hours. We went for dinner

1119
01:01:14.580 --> 01:01:18.780
and then for drinks. Maybe I drank a little much, but we were

1120
01:01:18.780 --> 01:01:21.540
very appropriate with each other, you know, just every now

1121
01:01:21.540 --> 01:01:24.160
and then we'd reach out and touch one another on the arm. So

1122
01:01:24.160 --> 01:01:29.140
there was that. Yeah, but there wasn't like a lot of like, um,

1123
01:01:29.140 --> 01:01:31.240
you know, I'm used to guys who want to get in your pants like

1124
01:01:31.240 --> 01:01:34.280
that's my history, right? And I'm used to really putting the

1125
01:01:34.280 --> 01:01:38.340
moves on you checking you out with their eyes. We were kind of

1126
01:01:38.340 --> 01:01:43.040
jokey a little bit, but it was really more like knowing one

1127
01:01:43.100 --> 01:01:47.940
another. Yeah, we talked for five hours. He shared a lot he

1128
01:01:47.940 --> 01:01:52.000
shared about his divorce, what had happened, found out he had

1129
01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:55.120
been dating for a few years now. So the divorce is five years

1130
01:01:55.120 --> 01:01:58.880
old. I thought it was three years old. I don't really know

1131
01:01:58.880 --> 01:02:01.920
that he's been dating seriously, because his life is incredibly

1132
01:02:01.920 --> 01:02:06.020
busy and hectic. And it he just didn't make it sound like any

1133
01:02:06.320 --> 01:02:10.620
race was happening. So um, but we really didn't talk about

1134
01:02:10.620 --> 01:02:13.200
relationship stuff. We talked about us, we talked about where

1135
01:02:13.200 --> 01:02:16.460
we have been, what's going on. He asked questions, I asked

1136
01:02:16.460 --> 01:02:21.040
questions, of course, loved, loved being with him. Okay,

1137
01:02:21.040 --> 01:02:24.120
because we have this. I don't know if it's that we're just

1138
01:02:24.120 --> 01:02:26.940
special to each other. But we have this connection. You know

1139
01:02:26.940 --> 01:02:31.520
what I mean? Like, we get one another and we talk incredibly

1140
01:02:31.520 --> 01:02:35.020
easy, even about very esoteric topics that other people may

1141
01:02:35.020 --> 01:02:37.720
know nothing about, but yet they're a part of our regular

1142
01:02:37.940 --> 01:02:42.480
lives. Yeah. And so I want to and I'm gonna I'm gonna stop you

1143
01:02:42.480 --> 01:02:44.820
for just a minute, because I do want to make sure that I'm

1144
01:02:44.880 --> 01:02:46.600
sharing this with all the ladies that are on the call,

1145
01:02:46.720 --> 01:02:50.540
and then we're gonna be watching a replay. Meg's situation is as

1146
01:02:50.540 --> 01:02:56.880
much different than what we coach. Okay. So what she's

1147
01:02:56.980 --> 01:03:02.300
sharing, if this was a random guy that you didn't know, what I

1148
01:03:02.300 --> 01:03:06.560
would be like, okay, we're getting too much information too

1149
01:03:06.320 --> 01:03:11.000
soon. Okay, because talking about somebody who's divorced on

1150
01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:14.580
a first date, like getting into the like nitty gritty of that

1151
01:03:14.580 --> 01:03:19.060
that's something that we're gonna say, hey, like, hold hold

1152
01:03:19.060 --> 01:03:22.840
those conversations. Okay. It's slightly different here with

1153
01:03:22.840 --> 01:03:27.700
Meg, because she has known him since she was 21. And so there's

1154
01:03:27.720 --> 01:03:31.140
some history there. They were friends, they were good friends,

1155
01:03:31.140 --> 01:03:34.620
they were both married, then then they both got divorced. And

1156
01:03:34.620 --> 01:03:38.440
so it's all kind of overlapping. And it's kind of going to these

1157
01:03:38.440 --> 01:03:44.560
like full circle situations, right. And so, again, it's the

1158
01:03:44.580 --> 01:03:48.700
same thing with the flirting and the messages that are going

1159
01:03:48.700 --> 01:03:54.920
on. If this was someone that she just met, I would be saying,

1160
01:03:55.300 --> 01:04:00.920
hey, these are some pretty big flats. But this is a different

1161
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:05.720
delicate situation, because there's history there. Okay, so

1162
01:04:05.720 --> 01:04:09.560
I just want to make sure that I'm sharing that because, again, I

1163
01:04:09.560 --> 01:04:14.560
don't want ladies thinking, oh, we're totally fine with, you

1164
01:04:14.560 --> 01:04:16.980
know, the flirting and the going and having drinks. And

1165
01:04:17.240 --> 01:04:21.000
like, this is a little bit different. This is not a guy

1166
01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:23.640
that she doesn't know who he is. Okay.

1167
01:04:24.360 --> 01:04:29.400
Yeah, yeah. This is somebody. He's always kind of had my heart

1168
01:04:29.400 --> 01:04:33.880
at some level. I've had his heart. And we were young

1169
01:04:33.880 --> 01:04:38.580
together. And now we are old together. You know, so yeah.

1170
01:04:38.920 --> 01:04:43.040
Did you spend a lot more time with each other that you that

1171
01:04:43.040 --> 01:04:45.060
more than you thought you would or

1172
01:04:45.760 --> 01:04:49.700
honestly, I care. So Carla, there's just so much like I

1173
01:04:49.700 --> 01:04:52.860
didn't even know what to expect, because that's the only first

1174
01:04:52.860 --> 01:04:56.460
time I saw him this weekend. So then some other things happened.

1175
01:04:56.660 --> 01:04:59.920
Not bad. Very, very good. But um, you know, I went in there

1176
01:05:00.620 --> 01:05:07.600
because I hadn't seen him so long. And I think so highly of him as a person and just really believe

1177
01:05:07.600 --> 01:05:11.660
that God could be in this. So I don't, cause I deal with the fear of messing it up that I have

1178
01:05:11.660 --> 01:05:18.400
to kind of just me and God. Right. But so I didn't really have a grid for what it was going to look

1179
01:05:18.400 --> 01:05:23.300
like. I knew in some way I was facing my Goliath, which is not him, which is the spirit of fear

1180
01:05:23.300 --> 01:05:29.140
by going into that conversation. At the same time, I knew the Lord had prepared me,

1181
01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:35.660
like even on the way driving down there, I came across this audio series. I had never listened

1182
01:05:35.660 --> 01:05:40.640
to in my car and I didn't have my car 25 years ago, but this audio series was 25 years old

1183
01:05:41.340 --> 01:05:46.940
about releasing single women from the invisibility tag and stuff in the spirit. That's keeping their

1184
01:05:46.940 --> 01:05:51.280
spirit mate from seeing them and saying that now is your time. Now is your season. And God's about

1185
01:05:51.280 --> 01:05:57.040
this is your coming out party. And I just thought, wow, this is happening right when I'm driving.

1186
01:05:57.320 --> 01:06:01.300
This is odd. The same time that's happened. And I'm repenting of things and dealing with stuff.

1187
01:06:01.340 --> 01:06:05.680
This construction sign flashes up, you know, the signs where they can change what it says.

1188
01:06:06.240 --> 01:06:11.980
Oh yeah. It's like move over, use your blinker. You believe what it said? It said,

1189
01:06:11.980 --> 01:06:15.400
it's a love story, baby. Just drive safe.

1190
01:06:18.220 --> 01:06:24.880
I'm like, what? I love those. I call those God wings. Okay. So it has to be a God thing, right?

1191
01:06:25.200 --> 01:06:31.460
So I mean, cause it's not me cooking stuff up. So I went there with faith, but yet very fearful.

1192
01:06:32.920 --> 01:06:39.320
So it went a lot better than I thought in terms of like, we just kind of snapped back in as if

1193
01:06:39.320 --> 01:06:45.320
had seen one another yesterday, our spirits know each other, you know? So we just, yeah,

1194
01:06:45.320 --> 01:06:50.080
you have that history. You have that comfortability with each other. When we went for drinks,

1195
01:06:51.240 --> 01:06:55.020
I don't really drink much. So he's like, what do you want to order? I said, heck, if I know,

1196
01:06:55.220 --> 01:07:00.320
just order, you know, so get me an old, get me what you're drinking. I said, just load up on

1197
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:04.720
the cherries. And so those really expensive cherries, like the second time it was like

1198
01:07:04.720 --> 01:07:12.080
he had stuffed it with like seven of those really, I mean, like he's just really, he's got such

1199
01:07:12.100 --> 01:07:19.320
character and I, I value him a lot, but you know, we're in a loud space. So we have to be incredibly

1200
01:07:19.540 --> 01:07:26.400
close to one another, staring straight at our faces for hour and a half. Right. Okay. And he

1201
01:07:26.400 --> 01:07:29.900
didn't say anything. And I thought too, you know, I've just dropped some bombs on him because

1202
01:07:29.900 --> 01:07:36.040
up to this point, we chat online. Sometimes we flirt not so much after that incident, really.

1203
01:07:36.060 --> 01:07:43.420
Yeah. You know, it can be just like kind of shooting the crap. It's not necessarily a big

1204
01:07:43.420 --> 01:07:48.160
deal. So he didn't even know like, where am I at with God? What do I think about things? I know

1205
01:07:48.160 --> 01:07:54.300
more about what he thinks. Cause he posts stuff on Instagram. I don't care. So I do realize like,

1206
01:07:55.340 --> 01:08:02.240
he's just really, I'm just dropping the bomb on him in a lot of areas and see, he's just for the

1207
01:08:02.240 --> 01:08:08.600
first time actually seeing how aligned we are in every single thing we're saying, whether he

1208
01:08:08.960 --> 01:08:14.420
confesses that. So then he, he goes to take me back to the hotel after five hours. You know,

1209
01:08:14.420 --> 01:08:19.060
I get it. He's like, my bedtime is between 10, 12, 10 30. He's like, we got to go. I'm like,

1210
01:08:19.060 --> 01:08:26.399
okay, we're going. We get back to the hotel and he said, so when are you here? Till I said,

1211
01:08:26.420 --> 01:08:33.939
I'm supposed to leave Monday morning. He said, let's grab coffee on Monday. He's kind of a

1212
01:08:35.580 --> 01:08:42.359
high priority person. So the fat and we're also our love languages are both quality time.

1213
01:08:42.620 --> 01:08:48.020
Okay. So the fact that he tells me he's going to take off his meetings when he's like

1214
01:08:48.250 --> 01:08:54.670
super high in the company on Monday morning to have coffee. That's not a nothing. You know what

1215
01:08:54.670 --> 01:09:00.050
I mean? Yeah. Okay. So we plan on doing that. But yet in the meantime, it's Saturday now,

1216
01:09:00.050 --> 01:09:05.370
he's still writing what's going on today. You know, I'm, I ask him what he's doing. He asked

1217
01:09:05.370 --> 01:09:10.390
me what I'm doing. So the conversation is still going. He just might not always have all that time.

1218
01:09:11.010 --> 01:09:17.229
Yes. And then on Sunday, some other stuff happens. So Sunday I'm going to go to church. I go to the

1219
01:09:17.229 --> 01:09:21.550
church. He said, what service are you going to? I said, well, nine, but I don't think I'm going

1220
01:09:21.550 --> 01:09:26.470
to make it. Sometimes he doesn't go to service. He said, I'll be there at 11. I think in a way,

1221
01:09:26.490 --> 01:09:31.229
he may not have been going to come unless I showed up. But anyway, I was there. I was there at 11.

1222
01:09:31.729 --> 01:09:36.370
I walked in, couldn't find a seat. It got dark. It's a big church. So I just stood there in the

1223
01:09:36.370 --> 01:09:41.790
doorway. I'm like, what am I going to do? Where am I going to sit? All of a sudden, this guy blasts

1224
01:09:41.790 --> 01:09:49.430
me. And like, I hit the wall because he hits me so hard, right? When the guy turns around and says,

1225
01:09:49.750 --> 01:09:55.070
pardon me. And it, and then he went and then he looks and it's Matt and he goes, come on.

1226
01:09:55.110 --> 01:09:58.610
So we went and sat together, but we weren't planning to sit together.

1227
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:00.960
So it's just kind of weird.

1228
01:10:01.020 --> 01:10:01.880
So here we are,

1229
01:10:02.040 --> 01:10:04.520
and the message is all about suffering and hope

1230
01:10:04.520 --> 01:10:07.060
and laying down everything for the future for God,

1231
01:10:07.660 --> 01:10:08.420
laying down everything,

1232
01:10:08.540 --> 01:10:10.440
and God's gonna do something so amazing in your life.

1233
01:10:10.440 --> 01:10:12.080
I'm like, this is really just weird.

1234
01:10:12.460 --> 01:10:13.340
Then we go out,

1235
01:10:13.540 --> 01:10:15.700
and our cars are parked right next to each other.

1236
01:10:16.780 --> 01:10:18.740
And it's just kind of odd, right?

1237
01:10:18.740 --> 01:10:19.120
So anyway.

1238
01:10:19.220 --> 01:10:19.740
There's some good things.

1239
01:10:19.760 --> 01:10:21.120
There's good things happening here.

1240
01:10:21.140 --> 01:10:22.000
I love it.

1241
01:10:22.320 --> 01:10:22.440
So.

1242
01:10:22.800 --> 01:10:24.240
Then on Monday, quickly.

1243
01:10:24.380 --> 01:10:24.620
Okay.

1244
01:10:24.720 --> 01:10:26.140
We gotta wrap it up though,

1245
01:10:26.140 --> 01:10:26.760
cause I got.

1246
01:10:27.120 --> 01:10:27.760
Yeah, yeah.

1247
01:10:27.760 --> 01:10:28.680
People don't want to share.

1248
01:10:30.660 --> 01:10:31.460
We got together and we talked,

1249
01:10:31.660 --> 01:10:32.540
but he didn't talk.

1250
01:10:32.640 --> 01:10:34.040
I guess my question is,

1251
01:10:34.240 --> 01:10:35.960
because he didn't talk overtly

1252
01:10:35.960 --> 01:10:37.800
about anything relationally, right?

1253
01:10:37.800 --> 01:10:38.840
He just talked.

1254
01:10:38.860 --> 01:10:40.660
And he's talking and talking and sharing.

1255
01:10:40.720 --> 01:10:41.040
And he's like,

1256
01:10:41.040 --> 01:10:43.400
I do not know why I'm monopolizing this conversation.

1257
01:10:43.800 --> 01:10:45.300
And he just keeps, you know,

1258
01:10:45.300 --> 01:10:46.380
and we're talking and sharing

1259
01:10:46.380 --> 01:10:48.320
and finding all these other things we have in common.

1260
01:10:48.860 --> 01:10:50.380
Now, Friday was about then.

1261
01:10:50.740 --> 01:10:51.580
Monday's about now.

1262
01:10:52.040 --> 01:10:53.920
And he said, I would tell you to move here.

1263
01:10:54.100 --> 01:10:55.220
He said, but don't come here.

1264
01:10:55.740 --> 01:10:57.920
He said, because this is a horrible state.

1265
01:10:58.240 --> 01:11:00.140
And I said, well, I don't have much choice.

1266
01:11:00.160 --> 01:11:01.860
He said, well, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to.

1267
01:11:01.980 --> 01:11:02.660
I said, well, when I leave,

1268
01:11:02.800 --> 01:11:03.560
I'm not leaving alone.

1269
01:11:03.980 --> 01:11:05.520
So I don't think him saying that

1270
01:11:05.520 --> 01:11:07.380
had anything to do with me, him.

1271
01:11:07.580 --> 01:11:08.960
It had to do with financially.

1272
01:11:09.580 --> 01:11:10.880
Don't get yourself stuck here.

1273
01:11:11.000 --> 01:11:12.200
I do have to move there

1274
01:11:12.200 --> 01:11:13.320
because I need a place to move

1275
01:11:13.320 --> 01:11:14.620
and that's where people live.

1276
01:11:15.060 --> 01:11:16.580
I'm going to be going to Airbnb.

1277
01:11:17.180 --> 01:11:17.840
I've decided.

1278
01:11:18.520 --> 01:11:19.560
So it's not a commitment.

1279
01:11:19.560 --> 01:11:21.180
But anyway, my question is,

1280
01:11:21.180 --> 01:11:22.720
he didn't make anything,

1281
01:11:22.720 --> 01:11:25.700
any words about a commitment or about,

1282
01:11:26.180 --> 01:11:27.520
I'm sure I'm going to see him.

1283
01:11:27.620 --> 01:11:28.260
Do you know what I'm saying?

1284
01:11:28.320 --> 01:11:30.780
Like this is a friendship and the guy likes me.

1285
01:11:30.780 --> 01:11:32.040
He's still texting me.

1286
01:11:32.300 --> 01:11:32.680
I'm home.

1287
01:11:33.060 --> 01:11:34.920
When we left, I did say,

1288
01:11:35.260 --> 01:11:38.480
thank you so much for all the time you spent with me,

1289
01:11:38.560 --> 01:11:39.080
for all the trip.

1290
01:11:39.100 --> 01:11:40.960
I mean, he spent over $200 on me.

1291
01:11:40.960 --> 01:11:41.520
You know what I mean?

1292
01:11:41.620 --> 01:11:43.980
Like this is not a guy who spends a lot of money easily.

1293
01:11:44.620 --> 01:11:45.540
And I just said,

1294
01:11:45.560 --> 01:11:47.080
you know what makes me much less satisfied

1295
01:11:47.080 --> 01:11:48.820
to go back to only texting now.

1296
01:11:51.180 --> 01:11:53.140
But I guess I just don't know.

1297
01:11:53.980 --> 01:11:54.940
Continue to get to know him.

1298
01:11:55.100 --> 01:11:55.620
I mean, continue.

1299
01:11:56.000 --> 01:11:58.280
I mean, at some point I do,

1300
01:11:58.920 --> 01:12:00.900
would encourage the,

1301
01:12:01.280 --> 01:12:02.920
hey, you know, you can have the,

1302
01:12:03.460 --> 01:12:04.900
you know, where are you at?

1303
01:12:04.940 --> 01:12:06.860
Like what's going on in your life

1304
01:12:06.860 --> 01:12:09.400
and see what he's able to offer up to you.

1305
01:12:09.400 --> 01:12:11.120
Okay, we don't want to have the,

1306
01:12:11.500 --> 01:12:12.860
the where's this going conversation.

1307
01:12:13.200 --> 01:12:13.220
Ladies.

1308
01:12:13.760 --> 01:12:14.120
No, no, no.

1309
01:12:14.120 --> 01:12:14.280
Oh yeah.

1310
01:12:14.600 --> 01:12:15.520
For the men.

1311
01:12:15.520 --> 01:12:17.460
The men need to initiate that.

1312
01:12:17.780 --> 01:12:18.620
This is where it's going.

1313
01:12:19.940 --> 01:12:22.040
But I want you just, again,

1314
01:12:22.040 --> 01:12:24.580
it's about creating healthy boundaries and balance.

1315
01:12:27.180 --> 01:12:31.260
And are you open to dating other people in this time?

1316
01:12:32.100 --> 01:12:32.700
I am.

1317
01:12:32.860 --> 01:12:34.320
I'm not open to going online.

1318
01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:36.080
Okay, that's fine.

1319
01:12:36.120 --> 01:12:37.600
I'm gonna have to find another way.

1320
01:12:38.100 --> 01:12:40.400
Getting out, do life with people,

1321
01:12:41.080 --> 01:12:43.320
you know, continue to have the reciprocating

1322
01:12:43.320 --> 01:12:44.640
back and forth with him.

1323
01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:44.780
Right?

1324
01:12:45.880 --> 01:12:46.760
And then,

1325
01:12:47.900 --> 01:12:51.260
and let's just kind of keep seeing what he brings up

1326
01:12:51.260 --> 01:12:52.320
and things of that nature.

1327
01:12:52.480 --> 01:12:53.720
And here's the thing is,

1328
01:12:53.800 --> 01:12:57.340
if he's making flirty comments to you or things like that,

1329
01:12:57.640 --> 01:12:58.920
that's when you can say,

1330
01:12:58.840 --> 01:13:00.920
hey, you know,

1331
01:13:01.740 --> 01:13:03.980
you're saying a lot of these flirty comments.

1332
01:13:04.160 --> 01:13:08.480
Are you looking to get into relationship in the future?

1333
01:13:08.660 --> 01:13:10.060
What would that look like for you?

1334
01:13:10.580 --> 01:13:14.160
Do I wait to say that in person or should I?

1335
01:13:14.160 --> 01:13:17.140
Because we don't really have a lot of quality contact

1336
01:13:17.440 --> 01:13:17.960
on texts.

1337
01:13:18.220 --> 01:13:18.960
It's more like just.

1338
01:13:19.220 --> 01:13:21.520
I mean, I wouldn't text it.

1339
01:13:21.740 --> 01:13:23.360
I wouldn't text those type of conversations.

1340
01:13:23.720 --> 01:13:24.480
If you have like,

1341
01:13:24.520 --> 01:13:26.800
do you have phone conversations or video calls?

1342
01:13:27.360 --> 01:13:28.200
No, we don't.

1343
01:13:29.040 --> 01:13:29.140
So.

1344
01:13:30.080 --> 01:13:31.620
Offer those and see if he'd be willing

1345
01:13:31.620 --> 01:13:33.180
to do some video calls with you.

1346
01:13:33.500 --> 01:13:33.920
Okay.

1347
01:13:33.940 --> 01:13:37.200
I really enjoyed spending time with you when I was visiting.

1348
01:13:37.980 --> 01:13:40.520
It would be really nice for us to stay in touch

1349
01:13:40.520 --> 01:13:41.840
and do some video calls.

1350
01:13:42.060 --> 01:13:42.860
Would that work for you?

1351
01:13:42.860 --> 01:13:45.260
And then see what he says.

1352
01:13:46.240 --> 01:13:48.920
Because there's a lot that can happen on video.

1353
01:13:49.220 --> 01:13:51.820
You're gonna be able to see people's facial expressions.

1354
01:13:52.120 --> 01:13:53.100
You can hear their tone.

1355
01:13:53.340 --> 01:13:55.000
You can see how they're responding.

1356
01:13:56.800 --> 01:13:58.020
Is there engagement?

1357
01:13:58.800 --> 01:14:01.420
Like, are they in tune to what you're saying?

1358
01:14:01.540 --> 01:14:03.480
Are they leaned in or are they being distracted?

1359
01:14:03.700 --> 01:14:04.980
There's all sorts of things

1360
01:14:04.980 --> 01:14:06.720
that you can pick up on body language.

1361
01:14:08.600 --> 01:14:09.820
So I would offer that.

1362
01:14:10.460 --> 01:14:12.600
I would offer like, this was really fun.

1363
01:14:12.600 --> 01:14:14.620
I'd like to spend more time

1364
01:14:14.620 --> 01:14:16.400
continuing to get to know you better.

1365
01:14:17.140 --> 01:14:18.380
Would you be open to doing like,

1366
01:14:18.640 --> 01:14:20.180
a weekly video call with me?

1367
01:14:24.180 --> 01:14:26.500
I don't know why I'm afraid to do that.

1368
01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:28.480
Is there a mistake in waiting

1369
01:14:28.820 --> 01:14:31.600
until I move there temporarily at the end of the month?

1370
01:14:32.220 --> 01:14:33.600
Well, let's dive into this.

1371
01:14:33.680 --> 01:14:34.220
What's the fear?

1372
01:14:34.260 --> 01:14:37.140
Because you even said that you had a fear of messing up.

1373
01:14:37.140 --> 01:14:38.020
There's some fear.

1374
01:14:38.180 --> 01:14:39.380
There's a spirit of fear.

1375
01:14:40.280 --> 01:14:41.340
What are the concerns?

1376
01:14:41.340 --> 01:14:42.780
What's the biggest fear?

1377
01:14:42.820 --> 01:14:45.700
Like, if you put that out there,

1378
01:14:46.540 --> 01:14:48.040
what are you worried is gonna happen?

1379
01:14:48.660 --> 01:14:49.640
I guess the fear is,

1380
01:14:49.720 --> 01:14:53.080
okay, so I just dropped a bomb on him about all these things

1381
01:14:53.080 --> 01:14:55.020
and perhaps he hasn't been considering

1382
01:14:55.620 --> 01:14:57.120
anything serious with anybody

1383
01:14:57.120 --> 01:14:59.360
because there has been nobody to, you know.

1384
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.580
And I guess my fear is he's going to think now I like him and he's going to run the other

1385
01:15:05.700 --> 01:15:06.220
way.

1386
01:15:07.300 --> 01:15:15.020
Or that the fear is he's just not interested or because he's a very, very smart.

1387
01:15:15.100 --> 01:15:15.800
He's like me.

1388
01:15:15.800 --> 01:15:19.920
He's incredibly brainy and like, like focused in his mind.

1389
01:15:20.300 --> 01:15:24.060
He, he may be like just an in-person person.

1390
01:15:24.540 --> 01:15:25.060
Okay.

1391
01:15:25.060 --> 01:15:26.540
I don't want to put a pressure.

1392
01:15:26.540 --> 01:15:31.860
I don't want you to sit here because you, it sounds like you can easily get spiraled.

1393
01:15:32.260 --> 01:15:33.080
Yes, I can.

1394
01:15:33.720 --> 01:15:34.760
It's the fear.

1395
01:15:34.960 --> 01:15:38.040
I mean, and I can relate to this on so many levels.

1396
01:15:38.260 --> 01:15:44.320
I mean, it's, it was very much something that I struggled with as well.

1397
01:15:44.460 --> 01:15:52.820
And so I want what, what my concern is, is that you allow the fear to continue to keep

1398
01:15:52.820 --> 01:15:53.960
holding you back.

1399
01:15:54.580 --> 01:15:59.600
You're running the risk of getting yourself into a situationship where you're going to

1400
01:15:59.780 --> 01:16:05.340
start fantasizing what this could look like, but you're going to be so scared because if

1401
01:16:05.340 --> 01:16:10.900
he doesn't feel the same way, so you're holding back because if he doesn't feel the same way,

1402
01:16:10.960 --> 01:16:12.720
then it kind of crushes things, right?

1403
01:16:12.820 --> 01:16:16.560
There's that fear of what if it doesn't turn out the way that I want, or maybe I messed

1404
01:16:17.000 --> 01:16:19.940
something up or I speak too soon.

1405
01:16:19.940 --> 01:16:25.300
I really want you to spend time with Holy Spirit on that one with this fear of messing

1406
01:16:25.300 --> 01:16:26.680
up fear of making mistakes.

1407
01:16:27.900 --> 01:16:31.440
I think a lot of women on this call will be able to relate to that as well.

1408
01:16:31.780 --> 01:16:35.040
This fear of making a mistake, the fear of messing it up.

1409
01:16:35.040 --> 01:16:38.380
You're not going to, ladies, you're not going to mess up your spirit, mate.

1410
01:16:38.700 --> 01:16:44.960
I guess, I guess the question is given that this was a friendship to start with, and if

1411
01:16:44.960 --> 01:16:46.540
it stays like that, it stays like that.

1412
01:16:46.540 --> 01:16:54.840
I've got a lot of guys in my past and I am, I know about moving on, but I guess I just

1413
01:16:54.840 --> 01:17:01.120
don't know the protocol because it is a friendship and maybe he's not thinking anything because

1414
01:17:01.120 --> 01:17:02.160
it's a friendship.

1415
01:17:04.500 --> 01:17:07.540
How do I approach this?

1416
01:17:08.420 --> 01:17:14.100
Well, I think you can say, Hey, I like reach out to him now that you've, you know, you

1417
01:17:14.100 --> 01:17:15.040
just got home.

1418
01:17:15.860 --> 01:17:18.660
Hey, I really enjoyed my time getting to know you.

1419
01:17:18.680 --> 01:17:24.300
I'm not sure where you're at, but I would like to continue to keep getting to know you.

1420
01:17:24.780 --> 01:17:30.760
Where are you at as far as, you know, in your life, I mean, you can, you can say, I want

1421
01:17:30.760 --> 01:17:31.920
to continue to get to know you.

1422
01:17:32.160 --> 01:17:36.220
I really enjoyed myself with you and I'd still want to continue to spend more time getting

1423
01:17:36.220 --> 01:17:37.120
to know you better.

1424
01:17:37.600 --> 01:17:42.140
So basically like I value you and I want you in my life.

1425
01:17:42.140 --> 01:17:47.060
The, Hey, I really enjoyed this and I would like to see what we've got going on here.

1426
01:17:47.300 --> 01:17:52.020
Let's just start getting to know each other and see his response.

1427
01:17:53.240 --> 01:17:57.900
Now if you start seeing that he's pulling away, then that might be an indicator.

1428
01:17:58.040 --> 01:18:02.740
And then you can have that conversation again, your situation is going to be slightly different

1429
01:18:02.740 --> 01:18:04.460
because you know of him.

1430
01:18:04.620 --> 01:18:11.480
So it may be, it might not be a bad idea to just put it out there and say, Hey, share

1431
01:18:11.480 --> 01:18:11.780
with him.

1432
01:18:11.780 --> 01:18:12.880
I'm in this program.

1433
01:18:13.080 --> 01:18:19.920
It's called last year, single, because I believe God's got a spirit mate for me and I'm intentionally

1434
01:18:19.920 --> 01:18:20.940
getting out there and dating.

1435
01:18:20.940 --> 01:18:22.740
And I really enjoy my time with you.

1436
01:18:23.620 --> 01:18:25.080
Where are you at with that?

1437
01:18:25.080 --> 01:18:26.800
I know you recently got divorced.

1438
01:18:27.660 --> 01:18:32.120
Have you ever considered romantic relationships in the future?

1439
01:18:34.540 --> 01:18:34.820
Okay.

1440
01:18:34.900 --> 01:18:40.760
Like it's, you can say this is, this is a different, this is a different scenario because

1441
01:18:40.760 --> 01:18:44.200
you guys have some history guys know each other a little bit.

1442
01:18:44.780 --> 01:18:51.360
So again, I wouldn't coach women who, you know, just met somebody that you can throw

1443
01:18:51.840 --> 01:18:58.060
that conversation out there, but because you have a friendship, it's probably good to figure

1444
01:18:58.060 --> 01:19:03.340
out where the two of you are at because you don't want to jeopardize this friendship.

1445
01:19:03.340 --> 01:19:08.200
And if he's not there, then you can be like, okay, like, and you can move on.

1446
01:19:08.200 --> 01:19:12.780
But if he is interested in entertaining and getting to know you better, then you guys

1447
01:19:12.780 --> 01:19:14.860
can see where you're going with it.

1448
01:19:14.860 --> 01:19:17.600
So if he's interested, is that there a valid assumption?

1449
01:19:17.940 --> 01:19:21.520
Because I guess I've just been assuming if he's interested, he is eventually going to

1450
01:19:21.520 --> 01:19:27.520
say something not always because we're friends and he may not get it.

1451
01:19:27.580 --> 01:19:28.020
No.

1452
01:19:28.020 --> 01:19:33.260
I mean, I was gonna say sometimes men don't, sometimes men are grippled with fear to believe

1453
01:19:33.260 --> 01:19:33.760
it or not.

1454
01:19:34.340 --> 01:19:37.620
I mean, if he's gone through a divorce, I don't know what his, his marriage was like

1455
01:19:37.620 --> 01:19:38.160
before.

1456
01:19:38.640 --> 01:19:44.260
Maybe there's some rejection there that he's even sensing, like, believe it or not, ladies,

1457
01:19:44.440 --> 01:19:46.220
men have insecurities too.

1458
01:19:47.720 --> 01:19:49.540
They have fears too.

1459
01:19:49.560 --> 01:19:52.200
And so you never really know.

1460
01:19:53.020 --> 01:19:55.280
And that's why communication is important.

1461
01:19:56.000 --> 01:19:59.980
I'm always communicating to you ladies, like having open.

1462
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.460
communication, healthy conversations.

1463
01:20:03.920 --> 01:20:06.040
Makes me wonder if I messed up.

1464
01:20:06.800 --> 01:20:09.520
No, don't see, we got to get to this.

1465
01:20:09.960 --> 01:20:13.380
This is again, God is utilizing this situation and scenario.

1466
01:20:13.380 --> 01:20:18.660
Cause I kind of see you getting like, Oh, you're the gears are going, girl.

1467
01:20:19.020 --> 01:20:21.260
I'd recognize it because I was there with you.

1468
01:20:21.540 --> 01:20:22.060
Okay.

1469
01:20:22.840 --> 01:20:25.320
So we got to like spend some time.

1470
01:20:25.420 --> 01:20:27.840
This is where that heartwork comes in.

1471
01:20:28.440 --> 01:20:33.800
I mean, I guess your, and where, where did that, where did that enter?

1472
01:20:34.420 --> 01:20:36.480
What memories in your past?

1473
01:20:37.120 --> 01:20:39.060
I guess it's just always been there.

1474
01:20:39.200 --> 01:20:45.360
All I know is when he said about not coming to the area because of it's, you

1475
01:20:45.360 --> 01:20:46.940
know, cause of the politics or whatever.

1476
01:20:47.000 --> 01:20:49.120
And I said, I don't have a choice.

1477
01:20:49.120 --> 01:20:51.700
I'm a single lady and I'm not going somewhere where I don't

1478
01:20:51.700 --> 01:20:53.120
have people who love me.

1479
01:20:53.880 --> 01:20:55.680
And so this is my pick.

1480
01:20:55.840 --> 01:20:56.760
This is where I've got.

1481
01:20:56.760 --> 01:21:00.200
And I said, and also single I'm trusting.

1482
01:21:00.500 --> 01:21:01.280
I'm believing, I hope.

1483
01:21:01.300 --> 01:21:03.720
And I do believe God will change that.

1484
01:21:03.780 --> 01:21:04.100
Yeah.

1485
01:21:04.100 --> 01:21:05.780
But for right now, this is what I got.

1486
01:21:06.520 --> 01:21:09.760
And then when he said about leaving the state, he would, if he could.

1487
01:21:09.900 --> 01:21:11.320
And I said, well, I agree with that.

1488
01:21:11.340 --> 01:21:13.320
But when I leave, I'm not leaving alone.

1489
01:21:13.680 --> 01:21:14.100
Yeah.

1490
01:21:14.100 --> 01:21:16.880
So I think it's clear what I'm interested in.

1491
01:21:17.300 --> 01:21:17.640
Yeah.

1492
01:21:18.120 --> 01:21:22.500
So I just don't know, do I need to say anything else or just let him percolate?

1493
01:21:24.160 --> 01:21:30.800
I think I don't want to, I want you to spend some time with Holy spirit on this.

1494
01:21:31.020 --> 01:21:34.580
I really want you spending some time with your fears.

1495
01:21:35.820 --> 01:21:39.940
I just don't want to, I would, I would be happy to say this in person.

1496
01:21:40.120 --> 01:21:42.700
I could have said this in person while we were there.

1497
01:21:42.700 --> 01:21:43.120
Okay.

1498
01:21:43.120 --> 01:21:45.580
I would get the video, get a video call.

1499
01:21:45.580 --> 01:21:47.660
Cause you guys are not going to be able to be in person.

1500
01:21:48.160 --> 01:21:52.220
And then is this, is this going to sit?

1501
01:21:52.220 --> 01:21:58.720
In your mind and create chaos in your mind to where you release it.

1502
01:21:58.720 --> 01:21:59.440
I don't think so.

1503
01:21:59.500 --> 01:22:03.380
I've got an Airbnb down there starting in number 27th.

1504
01:22:04.320 --> 01:22:04.320


1505
01:22:04.580 --> 01:22:09.660
And it will be for six months because the truth is I've just relocated after 20

1506
01:22:09.660 --> 01:22:13.600
years on the East coast and I'm living with my mother and I can't stay here.

1507
01:22:13.760 --> 01:22:17.120
And the only place where I'm known with people I love is there.

1508
01:22:17.360 --> 01:22:18.420
Well, here's the thing.

1509
01:22:18.420 --> 01:22:22.260
You're making a decision to move there because it's the best decision for you.

1510
01:22:22.460 --> 01:22:25.940
It's where God has, you're not going there because of him.

1511
01:22:26.720 --> 01:22:29.560
He's there and use that and it's a perk.

1512
01:22:29.560 --> 01:22:34.880
Like that's great because you get along with them, but you are there because it's

1513
01:22:34.880 --> 01:22:37.600
where God is, is calling you to be.

1514
01:22:38.160 --> 01:22:39.040
At least for now.

1515
01:22:39.180 --> 01:22:39.620
And we'll see.

1516
01:22:40.040 --> 01:22:40.520
Exactly.

1517
01:22:40.620 --> 01:22:46.200
So, yeah, I think again, you can continue to keep having conversation with him.

1518
01:22:46.200 --> 01:22:53.200
I really want you to be in tune with when you are having the fearful thoughts and

1519
01:22:53.200 --> 01:22:54.960
spend time with Holy spirit on that.

1520
01:22:55.180 --> 01:22:58.140
This is where, again, I'm going to reference you back to heartwork.

1521
01:22:58.680 --> 01:22:59.980
What is the fear?

1522
01:23:00.160 --> 01:23:01.580
What is the anxious thought?

1523
01:23:02.480 --> 01:23:05.460
When in your past, did you feel that before?

1524
01:23:05.600 --> 01:23:09.640
Where does it feel similar and start unpacking?

1525
01:23:09.640 --> 01:23:09.900
Okay.

1526
01:23:10.020 --> 01:23:13.440
Is Lord, is there a lie that I'm believing?

1527
01:23:14.100 --> 01:23:15.140
What is your truth?

1528
01:23:15.200 --> 01:23:15.560
Right.

1529
01:23:15.560 --> 01:23:21.380
No, no, I show me, I want you to spend some time focusing on that because here's

1530
01:23:21.380 --> 01:23:26.100
the thing from someone who, who can, I mean, I'm an, I'm, I can go on the hamster

1531
01:23:26.260 --> 01:23:29.060
reel, like nobody's, nobody's business.

1532
01:23:29.120 --> 01:23:29.480
Okay.

1533
01:23:29.480 --> 01:23:31.380
From someone who has been there.

1534
01:23:32.740 --> 01:23:37.440
One thing that has really helped me and that I continue to do heartwork is

1535
01:23:37.460 --> 01:23:45.540
constantly going back and being in check with what, what lie, what fear, what

1536
01:23:45.540 --> 01:23:46.300
is the truth?

1537
01:23:48.120 --> 01:23:51.480
That's so important just in life in general.

1538
01:23:52.820 --> 01:23:52.820


1539
01:23:52.900 --> 01:23:53.580
One more thing.

1540
01:23:54.240 --> 01:23:54.340
Okay.

1541
01:23:54.340 --> 01:23:58.700
I'm going to have, can you put it in the, in the app so that way I can get to it?

1542
01:23:58.700 --> 01:24:02.060
Cause there's, I've got four other women and we are already 10 minutes over.

1543
01:24:02.140 --> 01:24:03.840
And so I want to be able to get to them.

1544
01:24:04.360 --> 01:24:07.500
So come to the app, post in the app, ladies, I want to encourage all of you

1545
01:24:08.180 --> 01:24:12.500
ladies, because I know that these, these one-on-one or with these group calls,

1546
01:24:12.620 --> 01:24:14.700
we can get into some meaty stuff.

1547
01:24:14.700 --> 01:24:19.780
It really does help move things along for everybody in the whole group is if

1548
01:24:19.920 --> 01:24:23.360
you're keeping us up to date in the app.

1549
01:24:24.320 --> 01:24:24.320


1550
01:24:24.480 --> 01:24:27.700
So like Sonia, I know she's, she's posted in the app.

1551
01:24:27.780 --> 01:24:30.260
I know Liz has made, she made some posts in the app.

1552
01:24:30.360 --> 01:24:34.600
I got, um, I think I've seen Patty, Stephanie, Kelly, Stephanie Davis,

1553
01:24:34.780 --> 01:24:40.840
uh, both Stephanie's actually Lori Allie, like, or all Allah she's in

1554
01:24:40.840 --> 01:24:46.880
like these women are coming into the app and they're sharing what's going on.

1555
01:24:46.980 --> 01:24:50.420
So that when we get to these group calls, myself and Ebony at least have

1556
01:24:50.420 --> 01:24:54.140
some background knowledge so that we can't dive all that in.

1557
01:24:54.140 --> 01:24:57.420
So we want to be able to help you unpack all of it.

1558
01:24:57.480 --> 01:24:57.940
Okay.

1559
01:24:58.380 --> 01:24:59.980
It helps us if we.

1560
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.100
are getting up to date through the week.

1561
01:25:02.400 --> 01:25:04.740
We also do offer one-on-one coaching.

1562
01:25:05.640 --> 01:25:07.900
You can hire us to do one-on-one coaching as well.

1563
01:25:07.940 --> 01:25:10.620
So if you need more time, like a 50 minute session,

1564
01:25:10.700 --> 01:25:14.900
that's five zero, you can go on Jackie's website,

1565
01:25:15.440 --> 01:25:18.540
myself, Ebony, several other coaches are also able

1566
01:25:18.540 --> 01:25:20.140
to do one-on-one calls as well,

1567
01:25:20.140 --> 01:25:24.220
so that we can kind of dig a little deeper if we need to.

1568
01:25:24.560 --> 01:25:27.620
But make sure you're coming in the app and posting, okay?

1569
01:25:28.340 --> 01:25:30.800
So Meg, I'm gonna look for that for this week.

1570
01:25:30.940 --> 01:25:32.620
I'm gonna look for your post, okay?

1571
01:25:33.160 --> 01:25:34.520
Karina, how are things going with you

1572
01:25:34.520 --> 01:25:35.200
and your relationship?

1573
01:25:35.620 --> 01:25:37.840
Things still, are we doing good?

1574
01:25:37.980 --> 01:25:41.420
Are we getting in some blind spots?

1575
01:25:41.700 --> 01:25:42.160
What's happening?

1576
01:25:42.500 --> 01:25:43.440
What's your question?

1577
01:25:45.220 --> 01:25:47.460
It's good, but I think I've noticed

1578
01:25:48.780 --> 01:25:51.180
I've gotten triggered several times,

1579
01:25:51.860 --> 01:25:54.300
but not necessarily anything he does.

1580
01:25:54.300 --> 01:25:54.920
Okay.

1581
01:25:55.500 --> 01:26:01.260
I think my fears, like my fears trying to protect me

1582
01:26:01.260 --> 01:26:02.820
from like getting hurt and all that kind of stuff.

1583
01:26:02.840 --> 01:26:04.440
I think that's the main thing.

1584
01:26:07.280 --> 01:26:09.520
Like I was praying about it and I realized like,

1585
01:26:09.520 --> 01:26:12.240
you know what, like I'm trying to like protect myself.

1586
01:26:12.240 --> 01:26:14.340
I'm not being like God defender, like I'm trying.

1587
01:26:15.280 --> 01:26:15.700
Yeah.

1588
01:26:16.760 --> 01:26:18.200
Future scenario is like, oh, well,

1589
01:26:18.200 --> 01:26:19.700
what if his family doesn't like me?

1590
01:26:19.700 --> 01:26:20.880
Cause they're very different than mine

1591
01:26:20.880 --> 01:26:22.040
and they're very different than me.

1592
01:26:22.040 --> 01:26:24.280
That most of them are not believers and things like that.

1593
01:26:24.460 --> 01:26:24.900
Okay.

1594
01:26:25.140 --> 01:26:26.880
We, I don't even, haven't even met them

1595
01:26:26.880 --> 01:26:28.980
and I'm thinking like very future oriented.

1596
01:26:31.160 --> 01:26:34.500
So, because I've realized like I'm very future oriented,

1597
01:26:34.620 --> 01:26:36.460
like I realized I need to take a step back

1598
01:26:36.460 --> 01:26:38.260
and be more like in the present,

1599
01:26:38.780 --> 01:26:41.720
but that's got me a little bit confused about timing then.

1600
01:26:41.720 --> 01:26:44.680
And that's my question when it comes to timing,

1601
01:26:45.280 --> 01:26:46.380
like, cause we've been dating

1602
01:26:46.380 --> 01:26:47.580
for like a month and a half now.

1603
01:26:48.120 --> 01:26:51.240
So it's like, when is the right time to like meet parents

1604
01:26:51.240 --> 01:26:53.380
or family or friends, like that kind of stuff too.

1605
01:26:53.380 --> 01:26:55.720
Cause I think in a lot of like Christian communities,

1606
01:26:55.800 --> 01:26:57.780
like I've heard, like it's important for, you know,

1607
01:26:57.780 --> 01:26:59.700
for people to like meet your person,

1608
01:26:59.780 --> 01:27:02.960
seeing kind of have like those, you know, extra eyes

1609
01:27:02.960 --> 01:27:04.960
and see if there's anything that you might be missing.

1610
01:27:06.620 --> 01:27:08.420
So that's my question.

1611
01:27:08.420 --> 01:27:10.840
Here's the thing for you, it's gonna, it's gonna look,

1612
01:27:10.920 --> 01:27:12.560
maybe it's gonna look a little differently for him.

1613
01:27:12.580 --> 01:27:16.000
So it's gonna be important for you to invite him

1614
01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:18.560
to do things in your, in your world.

1615
01:27:19.400 --> 01:27:24.060
So if you're somebody that is, you know,

1616
01:27:24.060 --> 01:27:25.460
if you're family oriented

1617
01:27:25.460 --> 01:27:27.440
and you and your family do things together,

1618
01:27:27.540 --> 01:27:29.960
or you and your friends, like if things like that happen,

1619
01:27:30.120 --> 01:27:32.080
like you can invite him to come along

1620
01:27:32.080 --> 01:27:33.980
because here's the thing ladies is when you get,

1621
01:27:34.220 --> 01:27:35.780
cause she's in a level three relationship now,

1622
01:27:35.820 --> 01:27:38.500
they're exclusive, they're just dating each other.

1623
01:27:38.640 --> 01:27:41.080
And so now is when you're gonna start integrating

1624
01:27:41.080 --> 01:27:42.140
your lives together.

1625
01:27:42.160 --> 01:27:44.780
They're gonna, you're gonna want them to see you

1626
01:27:44.780 --> 01:27:47.780
in your daily life and you're gonna want opportunities

1627
01:27:47.780 --> 01:27:49.840
to see them in their daily life.

1628
01:27:50.240 --> 01:27:50.360
Okay.

1629
01:27:50.420 --> 01:27:52.560
And so what it can start off with Karina

1630
01:27:52.560 --> 01:27:54.520
is you inviting him into your world.

1631
01:27:55.100 --> 01:27:55.660
Okay.

1632
01:27:55.760 --> 01:27:56.720
Start there.

1633
01:27:57.040 --> 01:27:57.480
Okay.

1634
01:27:57.480 --> 01:27:59.660
Maybe that's the comfort level for him right now,

1635
01:27:59.660 --> 01:28:02.860
because maybe like you said, his family isn't believers.

1636
01:28:03.100 --> 01:28:04.560
They're very different than yours.

1637
01:28:04.620 --> 01:28:07.700
So there might be some hesitation on his part

1638
01:28:07.940 --> 01:28:09.640
or he might not know,

1639
01:28:09.640 --> 01:28:12.380
like we don't know what that looks like for him yet.

1640
01:28:12.760 --> 01:28:15.280
So inviting him into your community

1641
01:28:15.280 --> 01:28:18.560
and doing life with you on your terms,

1642
01:28:18.660 --> 01:28:20.340
that is a good start.

1643
01:28:21.060 --> 01:28:23.640
And then as you guys do that,

1644
01:28:23.880 --> 01:28:26.840
you can open the floor for conversation of,

1645
01:28:27.320 --> 01:28:30.400
hey, have you ever thought of, you know,

1646
01:28:30.400 --> 01:28:32.320
me coming and meeting your family?

1647
01:28:32.800 --> 01:28:35.620
After some time of him maybe coming around your family

1648
01:28:35.620 --> 01:28:38.220
and seeing those questions or those, not those questions,

1649
01:28:38.440 --> 01:28:41.780
those conversations and those topics will naturally come up

1650
01:28:41.960 --> 01:28:45.160
as you're continuing to get to know each other

1651
01:28:45.160 --> 01:28:46.200
in this level three.

1652
01:28:46.840 --> 01:28:47.100
Okay.

1653
01:28:47.100 --> 01:28:48.400
It's not going to happen overnight.

1654
01:28:49.160 --> 01:28:49.680
Okay.

1655
01:28:49.760 --> 01:28:51.220
It often doesn't.

1656
01:28:51.820 --> 01:28:51.860
Okay.

1657
01:28:52.700 --> 01:28:56.760
I know in our community, we do have accelerated stories,

1658
01:28:56.900 --> 01:28:58.360
but there's a lot of stories too,

1659
01:28:58.360 --> 01:29:01.120
where there isn't as much so acceleration,

1660
01:29:01.380 --> 01:29:05.080
but there is a slower pacing, which is totally fine too.

1661
01:29:06.220 --> 01:29:09.040
It's just, again, it's that staying in the moment,

1662
01:29:09.380 --> 01:29:11.660
staying in the present, you know,

1663
01:29:11.660 --> 01:29:14.380
you can invite him into your world to do things.

1664
01:29:14.380 --> 01:29:17.880
And then wait for him to invite you into his.

1665
01:29:18.900 --> 01:29:20.700
And after a while, I would say after, you know,

1666
01:29:20.740 --> 01:29:22.360
after a while, if you're, you know,

1667
01:29:22.360 --> 01:29:24.520
constantly doing stuff in your life, in your community,

1668
01:29:25.220 --> 01:29:29.080
say, I would really like to see you in your,

1669
01:29:29.320 --> 01:29:30.980
like in your daily world.

1670
01:29:31.060 --> 01:29:32.820
What would that look like?

1671
01:29:32.920 --> 01:29:35.060
And bring that up to him, like,

1672
01:29:35.660 --> 01:29:37.560
and seeing where he is with that.

1673
01:29:37.640 --> 01:29:40.840
Yeah, he did mention to set up something

1674
01:29:40.840 --> 01:29:43.560
with like two of his cousins, girl cousins.

1675
01:29:44.520 --> 01:29:46.160
One of them did grow up as a Christian.

1676
01:29:46.320 --> 01:29:47.720
So I think maybe that's why he's like,

1677
01:29:47.720 --> 01:29:50.300
I think it'd be easier transition start with her.

1678
01:29:50.800 --> 01:29:52.700
Like he's a fairly new believer, right?

1679
01:29:53.020 --> 01:29:54.700
And y'all work at the same church.

1680
01:29:55.080 --> 01:29:58.360
He grew up a believer, but he's been back to church,

1681
01:29:58.460 --> 01:29:59.400
like maybe a year and a half.

1682
01:29:59.620 --> 01:29:59.980
Okay.

1683
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.220
Okay, so yeah, like he's grown up, but he's like,

1684
01:30:03.280 --> 01:30:05.520
there was maybe some time away for a little bit.

1685
01:30:05.620 --> 01:30:07.100
He's got friends that aren't believers.

1686
01:30:07.300 --> 01:30:09.000
I know we talked about that when they went

1687
01:30:09.460 --> 01:30:11.940
for their little weekend trip with the guys,

1688
01:30:12.180 --> 01:30:14.600
all that kind of stuff, 100%.

1689
01:30:14.600 --> 01:30:16.040
So that's what I'm saying, like,

1690
01:30:16.040 --> 01:30:18.920
you are at some point gonna be integrated into that.

1691
01:30:19.180 --> 01:30:23.760
And so set the tone and inviting him into your world,

1692
01:30:24.000 --> 01:30:26.140
but also be open to saying,

1693
01:30:26.140 --> 01:30:28.500
hey, it's really important for me

1694
01:30:28.540 --> 01:30:31.140
to be able to see your world too,

1695
01:30:31.140 --> 01:30:34.340
and making it a safe place for him so that he knows,

1696
01:30:35.880 --> 01:30:38.800
like, you're not going to just cut and run

1697
01:30:39.220 --> 01:30:42.500
because one of his friends that he's good friends with

1698
01:30:42.500 --> 01:30:44.780
is maybe, you know, not a believer,

1699
01:30:45.140 --> 01:30:46.920
doing things maybe they shouldn't be doing.

1700
01:30:47.180 --> 01:30:48.580
Maybe they got a mouth on them,

1701
01:30:48.600 --> 01:30:51.240
it has some language, maybe, you know, whatever that is.

1702
01:30:51.620 --> 01:30:53.180
Okay, so just, again,

1703
01:30:53.180 --> 01:30:55.220
it's about creating a safe place for him as well.

1704
01:30:55.220 --> 01:30:56.240
And you can start that

1705
01:30:56.260 --> 01:30:58.600
by inviting him into your world as well.

1706
01:30:59.060 --> 01:31:01.220
He mentioned that he wanted to set up something

1707
01:31:01.220 --> 01:31:03.660
with those, but he hasn't brought it up since.

1708
01:31:03.660 --> 01:31:05.260
So I don't know if I should bring it up

1709
01:31:05.260 --> 01:31:07.880
or just wait for him to bring it up again.

1710
01:31:09.160 --> 01:31:10.120
You can bring it up.

1711
01:31:10.160 --> 01:31:10.860
Be like, hey, you know,

1712
01:31:10.860 --> 01:31:12.180
the other day we were talking about this,

1713
01:31:12.520 --> 01:31:14.700
you know, do we have any plans for that?

1714
01:31:15.740 --> 01:31:16.100
Okay.

1715
01:31:16.100 --> 01:31:18.780
Yeah, don't, ladies, don't hesitate to bring things up.

1716
01:31:18.780 --> 01:31:20.880
Because I will tell you, when you get into marriage,

1717
01:31:21.560 --> 01:31:23.940
sometimes I have to bring up the uncomfortable conversations

1718
01:31:23.940 --> 01:31:26.980
with my husband because he's on a different like wavelength.

1719
01:31:27.260 --> 01:31:28.960
Men just think differently than women.

1720
01:31:29.480 --> 01:31:31.580
Like for me, it's in my mind all the time.

1721
01:31:31.620 --> 01:31:32.660
And I'll be like, hey,

1722
01:31:32.940 --> 01:31:34.780
and he'll be like, oh, I totally forgot about it.

1723
01:31:35.140 --> 01:31:37.060
Not because he was trying to avoid the conversation,

1724
01:31:37.060 --> 01:31:39.220
it's just because he literally forgot about it.

1725
01:31:41.260 --> 01:31:42.060
Like, forgot.

1726
01:31:43.140 --> 01:31:45.180
And so I don't want you ladies to feel

1727
01:31:45.180 --> 01:31:47.060
like you have to hesitate to tiptoe around.

1728
01:31:47.160 --> 01:31:48.540
Like, you're not going to want to feel

1729
01:31:48.540 --> 01:31:50.760
like you have to tiptoe around the guy that you're dating

1730
01:31:50.760 --> 01:31:53.040
and potentially, you know, when you get into marriage,

1731
01:31:53.040 --> 01:31:54.400
you don't want to tiptoe around your husband.

1732
01:31:55.020 --> 01:31:58.000
Like, you want to be fully comfortable sharing,

1733
01:31:58.560 --> 01:32:00.600
hey, this is on my mind, let's talk about this.

1734
01:32:01.380 --> 01:32:03.000
You know, and then that's okay.

1735
01:32:03.940 --> 01:32:06.400
So sometimes it's because they just forget.

1736
01:32:08.440 --> 01:32:09.720
Sometimes they just need a little reminding.

1737
01:32:09.840 --> 01:32:11.660
My husband is always telling me, babe,

1738
01:32:11.660 --> 01:32:13.420
that's why you're here, you're here to remind me.

1739
01:32:13.880 --> 01:32:16.560
I'm like, well, I have my own stuff to remember

1740
01:32:16.840 --> 01:32:17.760
sometimes too.

1741
01:32:18.720 --> 01:32:19.780
And the kids.

1742
01:32:20.400 --> 01:32:22.400
So he's getting better at it.

1743
01:32:23.040 --> 01:32:25.380
But yeah, sometimes the men just need a little reminder.

1744
01:32:26.860 --> 01:32:27.840
Okay, and keep us posted.

1745
01:32:28.360 --> 01:32:30.700
All right, Alla, are you able to chat?

1746
01:32:33.240 --> 01:32:35.860
I know we're trying to get her connected with community

1747
01:32:37.600 --> 01:32:39.420
and she's shared with us.

1748
01:32:41.160 --> 01:32:43.920
Did you want to talk about what you posted earlier

1749
01:32:43.920 --> 01:32:47.680
about what to do when guys like say things

1750
01:32:47.680 --> 01:32:49.380
that feel like rude?

1751
01:32:54.560 --> 01:33:01.160
Maybe a little bit, but I can really stand up for myself now

1752
01:33:01.580 --> 01:33:03.800
as life took me on an adventure,

1753
01:33:04.020 --> 01:33:06.040
I will stand up for myself no matter what.

1754
01:33:06.420 --> 01:33:06.700
Okay, good.

1755
01:33:07.180 --> 01:33:07.720
Yeah.

1756
01:33:07.720 --> 01:33:08.940
Yeah, I was asking her,

1757
01:33:09.020 --> 01:33:10.880
cause she came in with a question

1758
01:33:10.880 --> 01:33:13.460
and I was asking her in the app,

1759
01:33:13.560 --> 01:33:15.940
like how she felt about standing up for herself.

1760
01:33:16.660 --> 01:33:19.360
Because, and so I just said, hey, let's jump on that.

1761
01:33:19.360 --> 01:33:19.360


1762
01:33:19.360 --> 01:33:20.040
Let's jump on the call.

1763
01:33:20.460 --> 01:33:21.760
Let's unpack that some

1764
01:33:22.400 --> 01:33:24.260
and just share whatever it is

1765
01:33:24.260 --> 01:33:25.620
that she's got on her heart right now.

1766
01:33:26.200 --> 01:33:28.080
So I'm gonna leave the floor to you, Alla.

1767
01:33:28.160 --> 01:33:32.020
So you let me know, what do you wanna bring to the table?

1768
01:33:36.360 --> 01:33:38.860
I'm really at peace in dating right now.

1769
01:33:40.240 --> 01:33:43.380
So I'm not putting too much effort

1770
01:33:44.820 --> 01:33:48.980
because God knows my schedule, my abilities.

1771
01:33:48.980 --> 01:33:54.020
And I'm really busy.

1772
01:33:54.240 --> 01:33:56.100
I'm actually driving to pick up my kids right now.

1773
01:33:56.120 --> 01:33:58.260
I was gonna say, yeah.

1774
01:33:58.980 --> 01:34:01.820
In the future, when we come on the one o'clock call,

1775
01:34:01.960 --> 01:34:04.120
is it better for you to jump in the seat

1776
01:34:04.540 --> 01:34:06.940
like and chat in the beginning or?

1777
01:34:07.760 --> 01:34:08.640
It varies.

1778
01:34:09.740 --> 01:34:10.180
Okay.

1779
01:34:10.200 --> 01:34:10.760
It really varies.

1780
01:34:10.900 --> 01:34:12.760
I have two jobs and three kids

1781
01:34:12.760 --> 01:34:14.960
that I have to get to school and from school.

1782
01:34:15.820 --> 01:34:17.420
So, but I'm trying.

1783
01:34:17.420 --> 01:34:20.040
Well, next week when you come on,

1784
01:34:20.200 --> 01:34:21.040
you just let me know,

1785
01:34:21.280 --> 01:34:22.860
hey, I got this amount of time

1786
01:34:22.860 --> 01:34:26.260
and we will make space for you, okay?

1787
01:34:26.400 --> 01:34:27.620
Cause I know you've got a busy life.

1788
01:34:27.940 --> 01:34:28.720
It's fine.

1789
01:34:29.260 --> 01:34:32.660
I know there's a chat 24 seven, I can do it.

1790
01:34:33.480 --> 01:34:36.020
Yeah, we're always connected with you ladies.

1791
01:34:36.140 --> 01:34:37.420
So just know, okay.

1792
01:34:37.420 --> 01:34:39.880
I do like, I just wanted to check in on her

1793
01:34:40.120 --> 01:34:42.340
cause she's been coming a couple of times.

1794
01:34:42.620 --> 01:34:46.480
And so she lives where I used to live.

1795
01:34:46.480 --> 01:34:49.480
And so have you been able to reach out to anybody?

1796
01:34:50.060 --> 01:34:50.700
Yes, yes.

1797
01:34:50.720 --> 01:34:51.300
Thank you so much.

1798
01:34:51.560 --> 01:34:51.700
Thank you.

1799
01:34:51.960 --> 01:34:55.500
I sent both messages or email and message

1800
01:34:55.520 --> 01:34:56.800
and they both responded

1801
01:34:57.200 --> 01:34:59.000
and hopefully we can meet soon.

1802
01:34:59.000 --> 01:34:59.320
Good.

1803
01:34:59.320 --> 01:34:59.980
I hope you guys.

1804
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.580
is can get connected. They're really that might y'all like

1805
01:35:04.660 --> 01:35:09.920
community and having a village is so important. Whether you're

1806
01:35:09.920 --> 01:35:12.800
you know, you're a single mom, or maybe you're not a single

1807
01:35:12.800 --> 01:35:17.020
mom, and you just are single, like, community is so huge and

1808
01:35:17.020 --> 01:35:20.840
so important. So definitely make that sure that y'all are doing

1809
01:35:20.840 --> 01:35:24.680
that staying connected with people get out meet people. So

1810
01:35:24.680 --> 01:35:26.860
Allah, I'm gonna lead you to it because you're driving.

1811
01:35:27.500 --> 01:35:30.220
I have, I have one thing to ask. Yes.

1812
01:35:32.540 --> 01:35:35.240
This keeps popping up in my mind. And

1813
01:35:36.160 --> 01:35:38.660
my heart is telling me to ask

1814
01:35:39.640 --> 01:35:43.200
community, but I'm like, maybe, maybe I should not. But I will

1815
01:35:43.200 --> 01:35:46.920
just ask you, I guess, since I'm here. So before I started this

1816
01:35:46.920 --> 01:35:49.760
program, I met somebody online.

1817
01:35:51.560 --> 01:35:55.320
We were chatting on the text messaging and

1818
01:35:58.720 --> 01:36:02.840
and for like a month or two. And later on, the person said that

1819
01:36:02.840 --> 01:36:04.200
we're not compatible. And

1820
01:36:05.220 --> 01:36:09.520
we can be friends only. That's it.

1821
01:36:13.800 --> 01:36:18.520
At that time, we were Facebook friends. And I saw later on that

1822
01:36:18.520 --> 01:36:26.460
he was dating somebody else. But a short time after, like, a few

1823
01:36:26.460 --> 01:36:34.460
days later, we were in church. And I was on one of the Sundays.

1824
01:36:34.960 --> 01:36:40.940
He sent a message to me. Like, we can be friends again and

1825
01:36:40.940 --> 01:36:47.560
started this whole chatting back again. Apparently, he broke up

1826
01:36:47.560 --> 01:36:53.180
with his. Okay. And he was like, Oh, sending all the best

1827
01:36:53.180 --> 01:36:56.560
messages, like, we can be friends, I can sit next to you

1828
01:36:56.560 --> 01:37:03.720
on Sundays. Okay. And that never happened. We were chatting for

1829
01:37:03.720 --> 01:37:08.880
like, a couple months. And I, I asked him, is it possible to

1830
01:37:08.880 --> 01:37:14.940
meet in person? And he said, No. I don't know what, why would

1831
01:37:15.160 --> 01:37:16.200
somebody like,

1832
01:37:16.960 --> 01:37:19.960
okay, so you were chatting online, but you guys go to the

1833
01:37:19.960 --> 01:37:20.720
same church.

1834
01:37:22.780 --> 01:37:26.940
Yes. Okay. So you've seen each other in person before.

1835
01:37:29.380 --> 01:37:36.060
Actually, after I met him online, that's when I'm it. It's

1836
01:37:36.060 --> 01:37:40.120
a little bit complicated. I, I moved to the the new city to the

1837
01:37:40.120 --> 01:37:45.220
Sarasota from Northport. And I was looking for a church and he

1838
01:37:45.220 --> 01:37:48.340
said that he's going to the church. So I was like, let me go

1839
01:37:48.340 --> 01:37:55.920
check it out. And then I went there and I saw him first there.

1840
01:37:56.460 --> 01:38:00.120
Okay, so he let you know what church he went to. And so and he

1841
01:38:00.120 --> 01:38:03.920
knew that you were looking for a church. Yes. Okay, so you go

1842
01:38:04.120 --> 01:38:08.820
there. But he's still kind of being like, Oh, we can be

1843
01:38:08.820 --> 01:38:13.920
friends. But doesn't it? Here's the thing. If a guy is saying we

1844
01:38:13.920 --> 01:38:16.840
can be friends. That's what they're that's what they're

1845
01:38:16.840 --> 01:38:19.840
offering. A guy that's interested in getting to know

1846
01:38:19.840 --> 01:38:24.340
you on a more romantic level or date you to like court you. He's

1847
01:38:24.340 --> 01:38:26.740
going to be very forward that he's not going to sit there and

1848
01:38:26.740 --> 01:38:29.640
beat around the bush me like, Oh, let's be friends. If a guy's

1849
01:38:29.640 --> 01:38:33.060
interested, you're gonna know he's interested. Does that help?

1850
01:38:33.800 --> 01:38:37.240
Yeah, but why send all the messages? Like, I will want to

1851
01:38:37.240 --> 01:38:38.180
meet you and we're gonna

1852
01:38:39.200 --> 01:38:42.040
that could be just out of his own insecurity and where he's

1853
01:38:42.400 --> 01:38:46.600
at. And you know what, what what wants and needs he's trying to

1854
01:38:46.600 --> 01:38:50.000
get met within himself. So if he's got some insecurity and

1855
01:38:50.000 --> 01:38:54.240
just wants to be, you know, feel like he's being accepted and

1856
01:38:54.240 --> 01:38:59.400
wanted, then he's going to try to seek that right. And so maybe

1857
01:38:59.400 --> 01:39:02.040
he was feeling rejected from this girl. And so it's like,

1858
01:39:02.220 --> 01:39:05.080
okay, now I got to go keep myself busy with other girls.

1859
01:39:05.440 --> 01:39:11.040
And so he's like, Oh, be my friend until whatever. I was

1860
01:39:11.040 --> 01:39:16.460
gonna say like, this guy, I don't know. Um, I'm not getting

1861
01:39:16.460 --> 01:39:20.660
good vibes from that. I think it's respectful that he's like,

1862
01:39:20.980 --> 01:39:24.160
Hey, I don't see this going anywhere. Best of luck to you.

1863
01:39:24.300 --> 01:39:28.400
Perfect. But this like, now you're dating someone and now

1864
01:39:28.400 --> 01:39:33.480
you know that he's not. And then when he's not now he's he's

1865
01:39:33.480 --> 01:39:36.540
coming back to the surface. Yeah, I don't I don't like that.

1866
01:39:36.620 --> 01:39:39.620
That just doesn't seem very mature and masculine to me.

1867
01:39:40.260 --> 01:39:43.260
That's to me that reminds me of like the Peter Pan boy.

1868
01:39:44.000 --> 01:39:46.380
Well, it's a church person, right? We're looking for

1869
01:39:46.380 --> 01:39:49.020
Christian mature men. Where else can we find better?

1870
01:39:49.800 --> 01:39:54.540
I mean, I hope that that but guess what? We're all sinners,

1871
01:39:55.680 --> 01:39:59.980
right? We're all not perfect. You know, yeah, but my

1872
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.180
My son's father, I thought he was a believer.

1873
01:40:04.300 --> 01:40:08.460
That was not, you know, he went to church, we went to church together.

1874
01:40:09.300 --> 01:40:15.200
And then I realized this is not what he portrayed.

1875
01:40:15.500 --> 01:40:18.560
He was and left me seven months pregnant.

1876
01:40:18.820 --> 01:40:23.020
Y'all like, not a good, good thing.

1877
01:40:23.080 --> 01:40:23.580
Okay.

1878
01:40:23.580 --> 01:40:29.300
So again, you can still see him in passing.

1879
01:40:30.060 --> 01:40:32.700
And again, I will ask you, like, check your heart.

1880
01:40:32.840 --> 01:40:34.880
Like, how do you feel towards him?

1881
01:40:35.620 --> 01:40:37.880
What feelings are surfacing for you?

1882
01:40:38.320 --> 01:40:41.540
And is it an opportunity for you to get some deeper healing?

1883
01:40:41.860 --> 01:40:46.060
Like, is the Lord highlighting something to you to help you grow in?

1884
01:40:48.580 --> 01:40:51.600
That's what, that's what I was trying to figure out.

1885
01:40:51.600 --> 01:40:54.040
I guess, why did God brought me to the church?

1886
01:40:54.180 --> 01:40:57.920
And we have been going there for like over a year.

1887
01:40:58.460 --> 01:41:03.080
Well, yeah, but I guess there might be like you, you, you go to church there,

1888
01:41:03.140 --> 01:41:05.820
but I mean, we were talking about you having community.

1889
01:41:07.440 --> 01:41:13.960
Is there not any community there at your church that you feel like you can lean on?

1890
01:41:18.440 --> 01:41:23.720
Well, from my availability, I was attending a couple of cell groups.

1891
01:41:24.580 --> 01:41:25.180
Okay, good.

1892
01:41:25.880 --> 01:41:31.440
And the, even I met the pastor in person on one of the cell groups.

1893
01:41:31.620 --> 01:41:34.380
He just told me, like, he knows I'm a single mom.

1894
01:41:34.680 --> 01:41:35.220
Yeah.

1895
01:41:35.620 --> 01:41:39.040
He just told me, if I have any questions, just go ask the people.

1896
01:41:39.140 --> 01:41:42.000
And I'm like, I'm really tired of asking people.

1897
01:41:42.000 --> 01:41:43.700
I will not ask anymore.

1898
01:41:44.260 --> 01:41:48.740
In the last, in the 10 years of being single, I have asked plenty of times.

1899
01:41:49.580 --> 01:41:50.060
Yeah.

1900
01:41:50.100 --> 01:41:54.600
You just, you need people that are going to see where you're at and come help.

1901
01:41:55.840 --> 01:41:56.800
Yeah, absolutely.

1902
01:41:57.540 --> 01:41:59.460
You know, and again, I just pray on that.

1903
01:41:59.500 --> 01:42:04.060
Just pray for God to start, you know, showing you and highlighting community for you.

1904
01:42:04.960 --> 01:42:08.040
Um, cause like I said, you know, I know, I know that area.

1905
01:42:08.060 --> 01:42:11.440
I know, I know it's, it's, it's small, but it's big.

1906
01:42:12.520 --> 01:42:15.020
It's a small area, but it is a big area.

1907
01:42:15.600 --> 01:42:20.000
And so it is important to get connected and to have people that are going to reach out.

1908
01:42:20.220 --> 01:42:25.680
And like, you know, when you can't, because you have so much on your plate that people

1909
01:42:25.680 --> 01:42:27.200
are coming in and checking on you.

1910
01:42:27.220 --> 01:42:31.640
So I would just be praying for God to highlight any community for you.

1911
01:42:32.420 --> 01:42:37.360
To get plugged in where it's not going to be you constantly having to seek community,

1912
01:42:37.500 --> 01:42:41.200
but people are going to be also coming out and reaching out to you.

1913
01:42:43.420 --> 01:42:43.900
Yeah.

1914
01:42:45.680 --> 01:42:49.720
I know you're kind of busy and you're like on the run here and I got two more ladies

1915
01:42:49.720 --> 01:42:52.040
that I need to show space for.

1916
01:42:52.120 --> 01:42:56.700
I don't usually extend this late, like this past this time, but I'm going to make an

1917
01:42:56.700 --> 01:42:57.680
exception this time.

1918
01:42:58.800 --> 01:43:03.180
Um, because I know Lori, she didn't get to chat with me last week and then Sonia came

1919
01:43:03.180 --> 01:43:07.340
for a live, but again, ladies, um, just continue to stay connected.

1920
01:43:07.540 --> 01:43:10.900
I'll let you do such a wonderful job keeping us posted in the, in the chat.

1921
01:43:10.900 --> 01:43:15.620
Um, and, uh, we'll definitely connect some more.

1922
01:43:15.700 --> 01:43:16.320
Okay.

1923
01:43:16.760 --> 01:43:18.240
We were here for you.

1924
01:43:19.400 --> 01:43:20.360
All right.

1925
01:43:20.640 --> 01:43:20.980
Thank you.

1926
01:43:21.200 --> 01:43:21.620
Thank you.

1927
01:43:21.740 --> 01:43:22.360
You're welcome.

1928
01:43:22.460 --> 01:43:22.940
You're welcome.

1929
01:43:23.360 --> 01:43:26.180
All right, Lori, I'm going to, I'm going to challenge you to be short, brief and

1930
01:43:26.180 --> 01:43:26.620
powerful.

1931
01:43:28.100 --> 01:43:31.980
Well, I have made my decision.

1932
01:43:32.040 --> 01:43:32.660
Okay.

1933
01:43:32.660 --> 01:43:33.400
What's your decision?

1934
01:43:33.660 --> 01:43:36.520
My decision decision is no.

1935
01:43:36.600 --> 01:43:37.020
Okay.

1936
01:43:37.020 --> 01:43:38.020
The part ways.

1937
01:43:38.260 --> 01:43:43.500
And, um, I feel like I've learned, so I'm just really out processing.

1938
01:43:43.800 --> 01:43:49.520
Like I just, so we had another conversation, um, last night it was a couple

1939
01:43:49.520 --> 01:43:51.740
hours and learned more about them.

1940
01:43:51.740 --> 01:43:54.120
This is probably our sixth conversation.

1941
01:43:54.120 --> 01:43:55.180
He is for you guys.

1942
01:43:55.340 --> 01:43:58.260
Um, this is a guy I've been getting to know for the last three weeks.

1943
01:43:58.520 --> 01:44:06.140
He's from Southern California and yeah, I mean, just represented so many, like super

1944
01:44:06.140 --> 01:44:12.560
attractive, like, you know, it was felt like that aspect felt like a dream and loved

1945
01:44:12.560 --> 01:44:13.460
his personality.

1946
01:44:14.240 --> 01:44:19.320
Um, felt like it was an opportunity for me to practice boundaries.

1947
01:44:19.320 --> 01:44:24.980
Like when he asked if he could come and visit, like within a week of getting to

1948
01:44:25.260 --> 01:44:32.160
know, uh, you know, flying here, um, he had made that comment about, you know, Hey,

1949
01:44:32.160 --> 01:44:35.800
like with all this attraction, I can't imagine not having some lip action.

1950
01:44:35.800 --> 01:44:39.580
And I was immediately like, yeah, I'm not inviting you.

1951
01:44:39.640 --> 01:44:43.760
You are not welcome in my territory for a long weekend.

1952
01:44:43.840 --> 01:44:45.740
And so I asked for clarity on that.

1953
01:44:45.960 --> 01:44:51.300
So I'm like, this whole thing was just like, no, no.

1954
01:44:51.780 --> 01:44:56.400
And like, he was willing to honor that is, you know, he came back and I felt like his

1955
01:44:56.500 --> 01:44:59.980
answers were good, but I did notice that it was a constant tension.

1956
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:07.940
and of like, feeling like there was just a lot of energy coming

1957
01:45:07.940 --> 01:45:17.460
at me that I was constantly having to, to push back. And he

1958
01:45:17.460 --> 01:45:21.040
shared some things, he got into some past relationship stuff,

1959
01:45:21.040 --> 01:45:24.240
like I asked high level questions, but he, and I would

1960
01:45:24.240 --> 01:45:27.620
be like, that's, that's more than, than I feel comfortable

1961
01:45:27.620 --> 01:45:31.700
with knowing right now. But he did share some next level things

1962
01:45:31.700 --> 01:45:38.900
last night that were just like, I mean, wild, like, and I don't

1963
01:45:38.900 --> 01:45:43.800
even want to get into those. But it was, it was the type of

1964
01:45:43.800 --> 01:45:46.120
thing where the boundary conversation comes up. And it's

1965
01:45:46.120 --> 01:45:49.540
like, yeah, I don't, I don't hang out with people like that.

1966
01:45:51.140 --> 01:45:53.700
And it's good, like you're asking those high level

1967
01:45:53.700 --> 01:45:56.040
questions, you're putting up those boundaries. And so that's,

1968
01:45:56.040 --> 01:45:59.120
I want you to, you know, focus on taking that in, because

1969
01:45:59.020 --> 01:46:03.180
ladies, God is going to use this dating season to highlight

1970
01:46:03.180 --> 01:46:06.340
things to you. It's why we call it discovery dating, you're

1971
01:46:06.340 --> 01:46:09.020
going to discover, you know, what are the things that you

1972
01:46:09.040 --> 01:46:12.500
desire in a spirit mate? What are things that you know, what

1973
01:46:12.500 --> 01:46:16.240
are your boundaries? What, what are your boundaries, and then

1974
01:46:16.460 --> 01:46:18.760
practicing those boundaries and seeing those people

1975
01:46:18.880 --> 01:46:22.440
reciprocating. So it sounds like, you know, he, he might,

1976
01:46:22.600 --> 01:46:25.360
you know, have some good, like respect for boundaries. But

1977
01:46:25.360 --> 01:46:27.640
again, there was some other core things that you're starting

1978
01:46:27.640 --> 01:46:30.640
to get to know about him, that you're like, I don't know if I

1979
01:46:30.640 --> 01:46:34.320
can, if I can give that up, like, I'm not willing to make

1980
01:46:34.480 --> 01:46:38.460
Yeah, it was, it was areas. And that's really extreme, to be

1981
01:46:38.460 --> 01:46:43.600
honest with you, like what I heard last night was rescuer and

1982
01:46:44.300 --> 01:46:51.720
honestly, straight up demonic. Yeah, sort of stuff. And my

1983
01:46:51.720 --> 01:46:58.080
so it was my opportunity is why would I stay and listen? Yeah.

1984
01:46:59.700 --> 01:47:04.020
Yeah. Would I still try to make it work in my mind? Like, and

1985
01:47:04.020 --> 01:47:08.260
this is like, you know, he talks about the Lord, but he's, and

1986
01:47:08.260 --> 01:47:12.780
this relationship was back in 2021. So honestly, like there

1987
01:47:12.780 --> 01:47:15.660
were so many times where I just reminded, like, I have a whole

1988
01:47:15.660 --> 01:47:18.200
page written out of things that I've learned with the Holy

1989
01:47:18.200 --> 01:47:21.980
Spirit. And it's like, just, you know, being a kinsman

1990
01:47:21.980 --> 01:47:26.980
redeemer. And would I introduce this person to family? And

1991
01:47:26.980 --> 01:47:31.600
would I would this be a good lead for my family? Would he be

1992
01:47:31.600 --> 01:47:37.620
a good man in my kids life? Yeah. guarding my heart. And

1993
01:47:38.160 --> 01:47:43.560
even this morning, I was thinking, I could see this like

1994
01:47:43.560 --> 01:47:46.940
redemption story, because I've been through some wild stuff.

1995
01:47:47.780 --> 01:47:52.060
That felt next level. But, but like, I was starting to like

1996
01:47:52.060 --> 01:47:55.340
envision this, like redemption story. And I sat with the Holy

1997
01:47:55.340 --> 01:47:58.020
Spirit and got real quiet for like a half an hour. And he

1998
01:47:58.280 --> 01:48:01.740
said, it's like he put his arm around me. And he was like, not

1999
01:48:01.780 --> 01:48:07.020
this one. Yeah. And I really, I feel like God is usually

2000
01:48:07.020 --> 01:48:09.420
utilizing this. And this is what I'm just hearing from Holy

2001
01:48:09.420 --> 01:48:12.820
Spirit is he's showing you how you're healed, like areas that

2002
01:48:12.820 --> 01:48:16.680
you're healed. He's using these opportunities where you are

2003
01:48:16.680 --> 01:48:20.560
starting to decide. And I'm going to ask, like, have you

2004
01:48:20.560 --> 01:48:24.300
felt in the past that you just didn't know how to pick men? Oh,

2005
01:48:24.140 --> 01:48:27.640
yeah. I think he's showing you that you do know how to pick

2006
01:48:27.620 --> 01:48:33.680
men. And that you do hear from him. And so he's utilizing these

2007
01:48:33.680 --> 01:48:36.300
opportunities to show you like, you're not going to find

2008
01:48:36.300 --> 01:48:40.220
yourself in that same situation again. Because now you hear

2009
01:48:40.220 --> 01:48:44.560
from the Lord, you've gotten some healing. I heard a voice

2010
01:48:44.560 --> 01:48:48.880
in my last relationship. It's like I didn't date since 2017.

2011
01:48:48.880 --> 01:48:52.080
And that was a Yeah, that was a crazy relationship. And I just

2012
01:48:52.080 --> 01:48:55.060
took time to be with the Lord and went out to Bethel and just,

2013
01:48:55.840 --> 01:48:59.460
yeah, just got saturated in the word and the Lord in his

2014
01:48:59.460 --> 01:49:02.540
presence. And then I went back into a relationship. And

2015
01:49:02.540 --> 01:49:08.840
although he was a super kind man, and he had, so like he was

2016
01:49:08.840 --> 01:49:12.400
safe, he was consistent, he wasn't avoidant, and he wasn't

2017
01:49:12.400 --> 01:49:16.500
Jesus wasn't Lord of his life. And I could have lived a life of

2018
01:49:16.680 --> 01:49:22.820
like, you know, all the things like, well, spa and like all the

2019
01:49:22.820 --> 01:49:25.160
things, but I didn't have a piece about it. And the Lord

2020
01:49:25.980 --> 01:49:31.880
actually said, don't go. And I went and I passed that two times

2021
01:49:31.880 --> 01:49:35.400
and I've walked that so I like literally have experienced the

2022
01:49:35.400 --> 01:49:38.880
fear of the Lord reverberating through me. And it was that same

2023
01:49:38.880 --> 01:49:42.000
voice this morning. So I don't have to think about it. Because

2024
01:49:42.000 --> 01:49:47.360
it's just lying. Yeah, like it got showing you like, hey, you

2025
01:49:47.360 --> 01:49:52.960
hear me, you know, my voice. I'm guiding you. I'm protecting you.

2026
01:49:53.720 --> 01:49:59.460
Like I really think and I also feel you have do you have a

2027
01:49:59.460 --> 01:49:59.900
passive

2028
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.900
like, um, kind of fantasizing relationships and making them

2029
01:50:04.900 --> 01:50:09.280
what you want them to be and not what they are. And God's showing

2030
01:50:09.300 --> 01:50:13.920
you. Yeah. He's keeping you from going down that, like that

2031
01:50:13.760 --> 01:50:17.740
pattern. And he's going to start showing you the realities of

2032
01:50:17.740 --> 01:50:20.580
things. He's going to reveal that stuff to you and you can

2033
01:50:20.580 --> 01:50:23.760
trust and know that he's got you. He's protecting you. You

2034
01:50:23.760 --> 01:50:29.000
hear from him. And this is what this discovery dating is all

2035
01:50:29.000 --> 01:50:33.540
about. Yeah. And there was definitely that. I know this

2036
01:50:33.540 --> 01:50:36.180
stuff can start feeling heavy and we can get let down and all

2037
01:50:36.180 --> 01:50:42.580
that, but sit in the rest, rest in the knowing that God's got

2038
01:50:42.580 --> 01:50:48.540
you on this journey to show you where he's healing you. And I

2039
01:50:48.540 --> 01:50:51.920
really believe that for you, Lori, like he's showing you, you

2040
01:50:51.920 --> 01:50:56.240
hear me, you can trust yourself. Like I'm going to help you.

2041
01:50:56.240 --> 01:51:01.440
Yeah, you can, you can pick a godly man that I have for you.

2042
01:51:01.960 --> 01:51:06.860
He definitely like said, I miss you. And, and so like, it just

2043
01:51:06.860 --> 01:51:11.700
there were so many things that are like, do I feel like, you

2044
01:51:11.700 --> 01:51:14.200
know, I've always known you. And I'm like, well, I've always

2045
01:51:14.200 --> 01:51:20.440
known this familiar spirit. Yes, right. This is not. I think

2046
01:51:20.440 --> 01:51:24.440
it's one like, there was so much we're telling you. Oh, I just

2047
01:51:24.440 --> 01:51:27.240
feels like I've known you. If people are saying I feel like I

2048
01:51:27.240 --> 01:51:32.320
know you probably. Yeah, like, so there were just so many

2049
01:51:32.820 --> 01:51:38.480
things. Well, that's a problem. Your whole life. I'm I honestly

2050
01:51:38.520 --> 01:51:41.720
forced myself to speak today because there's some things that

2051
01:51:41.720 --> 01:51:44.120
I'm like, you know, I could sit in shame and be like, Oh my

2052
01:51:44.120 --> 01:51:47.780
gosh, what am I attracting? But God's been so good because he

2053
01:51:47.780 --> 01:51:51.340
said that the promise way back when I started and this other

2054
01:51:51.340 --> 01:51:58.060
guy that I was super into. And I read a prophecy. It's just

2055
01:51:58.060 --> 01:52:01.200
like so many things like spiritually, like, read a

2056
01:52:01.200 --> 01:52:03.960
prophecy about how there was an assignment of the same spirit

2057
01:52:03.980 --> 01:52:07.420
people that God was wanting to like, you don't go around the

2058
01:52:07.420 --> 01:52:09.700
mountain again. And it was like, so tempting to be like, oh,

2059
01:52:09.700 --> 01:52:12.640
you've attracted this. And he's like, he just broke all that

2060
01:52:12.640 --> 01:52:17.220
off. And then like, so I can rejoice because this has been

2061
01:52:17.220 --> 01:52:26.600
now three weeks, not two years. Yeah, exactly. And the word he

2062
01:52:26.600 --> 01:52:32.680
said, Lori just stand. Yes, you just stand. And so like this,

2063
01:52:32.720 --> 01:52:35.480
I've been in like the Sabbath. So the Sabbath, September is

2064
01:52:35.480 --> 01:52:38.900
super big. But if that wasn't enough of a sign, like the day

2065
01:52:38.900 --> 01:52:43.840
and I went back in for another, like four days. But the day that

2066
01:52:43.840 --> 01:52:50.340
I heard just stand, I literally guys, this is me a year ago at

2067
01:52:50.440 --> 01:52:53.800
church worshiping the Lord. And it was after I'd come out of

2068
01:52:53.800 --> 01:52:58.800
this relationship. I'd moved back home from California to

2069
01:52:58.480 --> 01:53:04.260
Michigan. And my church posted this picture of me from last

2070
01:53:04.260 --> 01:53:08.440
year, and I've never waved flags before. And the first was some

2071
01:53:08.440 --> 01:53:13.060
25. And it says, we will shout for the joy over your victory.

2072
01:53:13.700 --> 01:53:17.120
And in the name of our God, we will set up our banners, may the

2073
01:53:17.400 --> 01:53:23.800
Lord fulfill all your petitions. And it was like, literally, he'd

2074
01:53:23.800 --> 01:53:28.020
put a stake in the ground. And like, you're not going back.

2075
01:53:28.800 --> 01:53:34.360
You're not. You're not. He's all the shame of like, Oh, you did

2076
01:53:34.360 --> 01:53:36.180
this again, you're still there.

2077
01:53:36.780 --> 01:53:40.100
That's the enemy. And that enemy is like, you're still there.

2078
01:53:40.760 --> 01:53:44.040
You're still codependent. You're still don't have boundaries. And

2079
01:53:44.040 --> 01:53:49.200
at every turn, it was like, No, that isn't okay that I don't

2080
01:53:49.200 --> 01:53:52.320
invite that into my life. No, that's not what true. And like

2081
01:53:52.320 --> 01:53:55.760
when the Lord put his arm around me, and he said, Not this one,

2082
01:53:55.760 --> 01:53:59.720
sweetheart. And I was like, Oh my gosh, but I woke up with such

2083
01:53:59.840 --> 01:54:03.160
peace. And I was actually if you had heard the story last night

2084
01:54:03.160 --> 01:54:07.400
was crazy. So they were, oh my gosh, I've attracted this again,

2085
01:54:07.220 --> 01:54:11.980
like, and, and I'm like, Well, why do I feel peace? Like, I am

2086
01:54:12.180 --> 01:54:16.960
so blanketed in peace right now. Yeah. And that's so amazing.

2087
01:54:17.200 --> 01:54:20.580
Like, felt like I had to work my way towards redemption and like

2088
01:54:20.580 --> 01:54:26.560
take this craziness and be like, and he's like, this is not what

2089
01:54:26.560 --> 01:54:30.360
redemption looks like. Redemption doesn't look like you

2090
01:54:30.500 --> 01:54:34.360
taking somebody who's, you know, six months out of their

2091
01:54:34.640 --> 01:54:39.500
last relationship. Like, I have spent time and built history

2092
01:54:39.500 --> 01:54:44.380
with the Lord. Yeah. And, and it's the fruit inspection. And

2093
01:54:44.380 --> 01:54:48.260
so it's just like, I don't see fruit, you talk about the Lord.

2094
01:54:50.360 --> 01:54:55.900
But yes, exactly. Ladies, and let that be like a lesson to

2095
01:54:55.900 --> 01:54:59.980
ladies is, you know, we get so worked up on like, but he talks

2096
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:01.560
about the Lord and all these things.

2097
01:55:02.060 --> 01:55:04.200
Ladies, we talk about being fruit inspectors

2098
01:55:05.960 --> 01:55:09.200
because the enemy knows the word of God too.

2099
01:55:10.800 --> 01:55:10.940
Yeah.

2100
01:55:11.640 --> 01:55:14.940
So you have to be like, it's about looking at the fruit.

2101
01:55:15.180 --> 01:55:17.280
How do people show up?

2102
01:55:17.800 --> 01:55:19.180
It really is so important.

2103
01:55:19.240 --> 01:55:21.740
Lori, I'm celebrating this with you.

2104
01:55:21.740 --> 01:55:23.540
I just needed to bring it to the light.

2105
01:55:23.620 --> 01:55:24.740
I love it.

2106
01:55:24.740 --> 01:55:28.460
Like, can you please post that picture of you in the app

2107
01:55:28.460 --> 01:55:32.380
and like, just, if you feel led to just kind of share

2108
01:55:32.700 --> 01:55:34.780
like what the Lord has been working on you

2109
01:55:34.780 --> 01:55:35.920
in this situation.

2110
01:55:36.620 --> 01:55:38.640
Because it's such a lie to be like, you're still there.

2111
01:55:38.960 --> 01:55:40.360
Yeah, like ladies, I'm like.

2112
01:55:40.620 --> 01:55:42.060
Go hide and bury your head

2113
01:55:42.460 --> 01:55:45.280
because like you haven't grown, you haven't healed.

2114
01:55:45.520 --> 01:55:47.520
And that's the life instead of hell.

2115
01:55:47.620 --> 01:55:49.780
Ladies, that is what the enemy is going to sit there

2116
01:55:49.780 --> 01:55:50.760
and try to do.

2117
01:55:50.880 --> 01:55:52.660
Oh, it's like I raised my hand and I'm like,

2118
01:55:52.660 --> 01:55:54.580
oh my gosh, if I were to repeat

2119
01:55:54.580 --> 01:55:56.680
what the things he said last night, like,

2120
01:55:57.280 --> 01:55:58.840
and I'm just like sitting in the space.

2121
01:55:59.020 --> 01:56:01.400
I'm like, I raised my hand, but I'm like so embarrassed.

2122
01:56:01.680 --> 01:56:03.540
And he just started speaking to me.

2123
01:56:03.640 --> 01:56:05.820
So I feel like there's a reason why I went last

2124
01:56:05.820 --> 01:56:09.120
and like what I'll share, I'll speak up

2125
01:56:09.120 --> 01:56:11.360
because I will not be silenced.

2126
01:56:12.260 --> 01:56:12.700
No.

2127
01:56:13.240 --> 01:56:14.280
Oh, I love that.

2128
01:56:14.400 --> 01:56:15.120
That's so powerful.

2129
01:56:15.220 --> 01:56:16.880
I'm so glad I held the space.

2130
01:56:17.180 --> 01:56:19.500
You know, I usually can't do it, but I'm like, no,

2131
01:56:19.500 --> 01:56:20.660
today I'm going to do it.

2132
01:56:20.660 --> 01:56:23.720
I'm going to leave the space because ladies, I'm like,

2133
01:56:23.720 --> 01:56:25.620
I just want to release that over you.

2134
01:56:26.440 --> 01:56:33.040
God is not a God of shame and condemnation and guilt.

2135
01:56:33.880 --> 01:56:34.820
That is not him.

2136
01:56:34.960 --> 01:56:37.200
So when you hear this, oh, look,

2137
01:56:37.260 --> 01:56:39.220
you're back in this same situation again,

2138
01:56:39.400 --> 01:56:41.200
that should be an indicator to you

2139
01:56:41.200 --> 01:56:44.240
that that's the enemy speaking to try to get you

2140
01:56:44.380 --> 01:56:48.580
to take your focus off what God has already done inside.

2141
01:56:49.080 --> 01:56:51.720
Like he was acting like he was holding, you know,

2142
01:56:52.060 --> 01:56:54.540
a mirror up and like, see what you've attracted.

2143
01:56:55.620 --> 01:56:57.520
And that's not, that's not from our God.

2144
01:56:58.720 --> 01:56:59.960
No, that's what.

2145
01:56:59.960 --> 01:57:01.460
I mean, you hear the like attracts like,

2146
01:57:01.660 --> 01:57:04.500
so there, it could be like, I could have gone there.

2147
01:57:04.880 --> 01:57:05.360
Yeah.

2148
01:57:05.440 --> 01:57:07.640
And I'm so thankful that you're like, no,

2149
01:57:08.200 --> 01:57:11.360
I'm standing firm on God's word.

2150
01:57:11.980 --> 01:57:13.560
And the foundation is his,

2151
01:57:13.860 --> 01:57:16.420
that's his word is the foundation of truth.

2152
01:57:16.420 --> 01:57:16.860
Yeah.

2153
01:57:16.860 --> 01:57:18.400
And I'm not going to listen to that anymore.

2154
01:57:18.400 --> 01:57:21.000
And, and, and the fact that like we can sit here

2155
01:57:21.000 --> 01:57:22.900
and tell you, you know, you're recognizing

2156
01:57:23.560 --> 01:57:26.280
that's not what you are attracted to.

2157
01:57:26.440 --> 01:57:26.660
Yeah.

2158
01:57:26.660 --> 01:57:28.200
That's not what God has for you.

2159
01:57:28.220 --> 01:57:28.820
When am I going to get into like.

2160
01:57:28.820 --> 01:57:30.520
And there's no shame in that.

2161
01:57:30.580 --> 01:57:33.620
So like, oh my gosh, so fun to have a, you know,

2162
01:57:33.960 --> 01:57:36.920
hot guy from California come in and spend the weekend here.

2163
01:57:36.920 --> 01:57:39.140
And I'm like, that is not fun to me anymore.

2164
01:57:39.960 --> 01:57:40.840
Oh, no.

2165
01:57:40.880 --> 01:57:41.420
And that's the thing.

2166
01:57:41.540 --> 01:57:42.060
It's not fun.

2167
01:57:42.640 --> 01:57:44.700
Ladies, you will start seeing these things

2168
01:57:44.700 --> 01:57:47.900
like transform to you as to what you find attractive.

2169
01:57:48.780 --> 01:57:50.400
Ladies, my, my husband,

2170
01:57:50.400 --> 01:57:52.740
I physically was not attracted to him at first.

2171
01:57:53.760 --> 01:57:57.600
Y'all, my husband, I'm like, like, I don't look,

2172
01:57:57.720 --> 01:58:00.000
there's no way I would ever want to look at anybody else

2173
01:58:00.940 --> 01:58:02.740
because it's his heart.

2174
01:58:03.260 --> 01:58:03.780
Yeah.

2175
01:58:03.780 --> 01:58:05.260
Makes him so much more attractive.

2176
01:58:05.340 --> 01:58:08.800
And I look at my husband, I'm like, dang, you are hot.

2177
01:58:09.380 --> 01:58:14.040
Like I didn't see that at first, but I wasn't supposed to.

2178
01:58:14.660 --> 01:58:17.760
Like if we're drawn to that attractive physicalness,

2179
01:58:17.760 --> 01:58:20.960
sometimes we gotta pump the brakes there.

2180
01:58:21.340 --> 01:58:23.040
And ladies, that was part of my story.

2181
01:58:23.100 --> 01:58:26.640
When I was in my younger 20s and into my early 30s,

2182
01:58:26.960 --> 01:58:31.080
I was all about the guy had to look a certain way

2183
01:58:31.260 --> 01:58:33.720
because I struggled with my self-image

2184
01:58:33.720 --> 01:58:36.240
because I thought I had to look a certain way.

2185
01:58:36.360 --> 01:58:37.740
And if I had to look a certain way,

2186
01:58:37.780 --> 01:58:40.020
then the man had to look a certain way

2187
01:58:40.020 --> 01:58:41.920
because that portrayed who I was.

2188
01:58:41.920 --> 01:58:44.060
And God was like, no, no, honey.

2189
01:58:44.620 --> 01:58:47.100
Once he started working this program in me

2190
01:58:47.100 --> 01:58:48.200
and I was getting the heartwork,

2191
01:58:48.380 --> 01:58:52.460
he was really started to show me where my identity was.

2192
01:58:52.680 --> 01:58:54.620
And it wasn't on the exterior.

2193
01:58:55.200 --> 01:58:56.760
It was inside here.

2194
01:58:57.500 --> 01:58:59.320
And ladies, once you can start tapping

2195
01:58:59.320 --> 01:59:01.160
onto that in yourself,

2196
01:59:01.240 --> 01:59:04.780
you're gonna start attracting that same heart in the men.

2197
01:59:05.160 --> 01:59:07.100
And Lori, I think God is showing you

2198
01:59:07.100 --> 01:59:08.800
you're not attracted to that anymore.

2199
01:59:09.120 --> 01:59:10.860
You are attracted to the heart.

2200
01:59:12.380 --> 01:59:13.740
And that's-

2201
01:59:13.740 --> 01:59:18.680
I mean, he also felt like he had a sweetness about him.

2202
01:59:18.860 --> 01:59:21.080
He had what felt like a good heart,

2203
01:59:21.080 --> 01:59:23.420
but then I'm looking at like the choices he made.

2204
01:59:24.340 --> 01:59:25.480
And like some of that,

2205
01:59:25.500 --> 01:59:26.980
I would say like some of like,

2206
01:59:26.980 --> 01:59:28.640
maybe the scales fell off my eye

2207
01:59:28.640 --> 01:59:32.240
because I started to see behind like the fun loving,

2208
01:59:32.580 --> 01:59:33.580
like charisma.

2209
01:59:34.760 --> 01:59:34.760


2210
01:59:35.500 --> 01:59:36.220
And-

2211
01:59:36.220 --> 01:59:36.880
I would just say that that man

2212
01:59:36.880 --> 01:59:38.820
probably doesn't have part of that spirit.

2213
01:59:39.060 --> 01:59:40.060
He probably is.

2214
01:59:40.120 --> 01:59:42.980
But again, it was a way for you to recognize like,

2215
01:59:43.500 --> 01:59:44.400
but I want more.

2216
01:59:44.760 --> 01:59:46.180
I want a deeper intimacy.

2217
01:59:47.260 --> 01:59:50.260
I want to know what the man's heart is.

2218
01:59:50.620 --> 01:59:51.260
Because here's the thing.

2219
01:59:52.140 --> 01:59:53.180
We all have a past.

2220
01:59:53.640 --> 01:59:55.720
We all have made mistakes, okay?

2221
01:59:55.740 --> 01:59:58.820
And that doesn't mean that we're unworthy of love

2222
01:59:58.820 --> 01:59:59.520
or anything like that,

2223
01:59:59.520 --> 01:59:59.980
or someone else.

2224
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:04.900
else isn't worthy of love but we have to again it's just about partnering with

2225
02:00:04.900 --> 02:00:09.440
God and following what is he trying to show you in this moment and I think he's

2226
02:00:09.440 --> 02:00:13.760
trying to show you like look you're gonna start finding other things more

2227
02:00:14.720 --> 02:00:20.120
attractive and I have and like you're like that man probably is a really sweet

2228
02:00:20.120 --> 02:00:23.320
great guy but you know what your husband's gonna have that and he's gonna

2229
02:00:23.320 --> 02:00:27.700
have so much more and he's gonna help the Lord and you're gonna see the fruit

2230
02:00:27.700 --> 02:00:33.680
ladies be fruit inspectors look for the fruit don't don't and don't feel like

2231
02:00:33.680 --> 02:00:38.220
you have to know how you feel about this person right out the gate you know you

2232
02:00:38.220 --> 02:00:41.700
don't have to make a decision if this person's your spirit mate you yeah

2233
02:00:41.820 --> 02:00:48.580
getting to know there was a lot of that talk about you know needing to jump to

2234
02:00:48.860 --> 02:00:53.620
finality and you know I just came to the Lord and I said Lord I'm so tired like

2235
02:00:53.620 --> 02:00:59.260
I'm so tired fighting and that's what I said just stand and then that picture

2236
02:00:59.260 --> 02:01:04.820
got posted and I'm like the chances of that picture from a year ago when I

2237
02:01:05.140 --> 02:01:09.500
chose to walk into the unknown when I chose to let go of something that was

2238
02:01:09.520 --> 02:01:15.780
good for the God thing and then like flag you know flagging being a new thing

2239
02:01:15.780 --> 02:01:19.800
that I was actually warring in the spirit like heaven knows like the power

2240
02:01:19.800 --> 02:01:25.740
that's released in that like it's just like and it's just like okay like I'm

2241
02:01:25.740 --> 02:01:37.180
tired but he's like just stand just it's just like just oh ladies thank you so

2242
02:01:37.180 --> 02:01:41.100
much for sticking it out Laurie thank you so much for sharing I'm celebrating

2243
02:01:41.100 --> 02:01:46.160
with you I'm so happy for you this has been such a great call this is like

2244
02:01:46.160 --> 02:01:52.200
again I don't usually go 45 minutes over but I I feel Holy Spirit was on

2245
02:01:52.200 --> 02:01:58.120
that and I'm so thankful that we waited it out and we we got to hear your your

2246
02:01:58.600 --> 02:02:03.820
praise like what God is doing ladies let's take a hold of that let it be a

2247
02:02:03.820 --> 02:02:06.160
testimony for you as well yeah all right

2248
02:02:07.660 --> 02:02:12.400
like oh I'm so embarrassed I'm just gonna hide this and I can figure it out

2249
02:02:12.400 --> 02:02:21.200
myself and look Audrey was embarrassed to share today I want somebody else like

2250
02:02:21.200 --> 02:02:26.180
oh I'm a little shy at this ladies let this be an encouragement if you didn't

2251
02:02:26.180 --> 02:02:30.600
get to speak today or maybe you've been sitting and thinking I don't know if I'm

2252
02:02:30.600 --> 02:02:35.200
gonna speak up let this be an encouragement for you ladies that this

2253
02:02:35.200 --> 02:02:40.080
is such a safe place a safe community and so much breakthrough happens when we

2254
02:02:40.080 --> 02:02:44.720
do take what we think is in the dark and we put it to light because guess

2255
02:02:44.720 --> 02:02:48.480
what then it has no power that the darkness has no power when we put it in

2256
02:02:49.740 --> 02:02:53.980
light and so ladies I don't ever want you to feel like you have to hold back

2257
02:02:54.040 --> 02:02:58.280
or feel shame or guilt about you know what you're experiencing what you're

2258
02:02:58.280 --> 02:03:01.940
feeling what you're thinking what what situation you found yourself in what you

2259
02:03:01.940 --> 02:03:08.580
did what you didn't do there's no condemnation here absolutely none and I

2260
02:03:08.580 --> 02:03:15.260
can assure you I made plenty of mistakes before I found Jackie and even

2261
02:03:15.260 --> 02:03:19.180
while I found Jackie and even now there's times where I'm like oh I just

2262
02:03:19.180 --> 02:03:25.160
didn't get that right but we like we have to just go ahead and expose the

2263
02:03:26.000 --> 02:03:31.680
darkness and then we release it okay ladies be blessed if you can jump on the

2264
02:03:31.680 --> 02:03:34.880
eight o'clock call tonight to definitely do that if not watch it and replay

2265
02:03:35.120 --> 02:03:38.180
ladies I hope to see you all again next week and I hope to see you all in the

2266
02:03:38.180 --> 02:03:42.280
app to let us know what's happening in your life okay take care ladies