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Okay, there we go. So glad to have you all joining us tonight. My name is Bethany Cooper. I'm one of

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the master heartwork coaches here in the community. I'm so glad to have you joining us. If you're new,

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you've never been here before, this is your first live session, we would love for you to put that

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in the chat for us so we can welcome you. Let us know that you're joining us and hey, tell us where

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you're joining from and do city and state and then our ladies that are returning, you've been here

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before, you're coming back for more, welcome back. We'd love for y'all to put in the chat as well

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because guess what ladies, some of y'all might live near each other and you didn't even know it.

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So if you put that in city and state where you're joining from, that's just a little fun way for us

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to get you connecting right out of the gate tonight because part of heartwork, if you don't

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recall this or you haven't heard us as because again it's your first time joining us live, part

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of the heartwork is coming out of hiding. It's being seen, being known, being loved and experiencing

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the blessing of community when it is God's way. It's so, so amazing. So on that note, thank you

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again for joining us. We're excited to dive into the content tonight. God has a lot in store.

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Before I pass it over to Annette to do a couple housekeeping things, there was just something

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this afternoon that I was really just felt led to talk about before we even do housekeeping

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and it is this. As we are in the month of September and we're leaning into the Sabbath

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rest, we're practicing not only ceasing or breaking from activity, but sometimes you're

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still doing something, but it is a state of rest for you. So as you're praying and asking the Lord

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what He is wanting you to do during the Sabbath to rest, to enter into rest, I want you to be

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paying attention to a couple things. Here are two things I want you to be paying attention to.

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What is the rest bringing up in you? Okay, is it bringing up peace in you or is it bringing up

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loneliness? Is it when you're still and you slow down, what is your flesh experiencing?

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What are the thoughts that you're having? Are you feeling any kind of shame or guilt or

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or whatnot because you are choosing to rest? Maybe you're experiencing something amazing

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and wonderful, but either way I want you to pay attention to what is it bringing up in you.

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Number two, what is it bringing up in other people around you? We had someone post in the group and

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that's what got me thinking about this. So often when we start to rest, even also when you start

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to do your heart work and you start to heal, what happens is the people around us may not always like

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us resting. Those people around us might not always like us healing because guess what?

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For some of you, when your unhealed self was functioning and doing all the things for all the

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people, yep, those people might not be served the same way anymore and they might not like it, but

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it's better for you because you're starting to set some boundaries and live in a healthier place

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and space. And so what is it bringing up in the people around you? If you are leaning into rest

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and people around you are not liking that, I don't want you necessarily to stop resting. I want you

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to pay attention to the people that are giving you a hard time for resting. What are they saying? What

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are the lies? Sometimes it can be lies that are coming through them from the enemy,

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but also is it something that God is doing to reveal an area for healing for you? Maybe it's

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going to signal to areas where you need to put some boundaries in place in the days ahead.

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So we're not here to just serve everybody else. Yes, God calls us to serve, but He also

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calls us to live in balance, ladies, to be healed, to function not in a people-pleasing state, but

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to love people out of the overflow of the love that we receive in the healing we receive first.

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And so for Audrey, if you haven't heard the Supernatural Saturday where Jackie kind of

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released the message, that was from two Saturdays ago. It's under our Replace tab in the app.

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Definitely encourage all of our new ladies to check that out. We normally have Supernatural

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Saturday every Saturday for the month of September. We are doing September Surrender.

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That's the whole focus. So we're really calling the whole movement into a month of resting

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and really practicing what does Sabbath look like? What is it supposed to look like?

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And then also because we're about to celebrate our five-year anniversary,

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we believe God is calling us as a movement to birth a lot of additional things. And so we're

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resting. We're kind of

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resting the land, if you will, for the month and preparing for what God has in the days to come.

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So on that note, I'm going to pass it over to Annette. She's going to do a couple

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housekeeping things for you and then we're going to pray and we're going to go right

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into the content tonight. Hello ladies. It's good to be here with you tonight.

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I wanted to just go over a couple things that are really best practices while you're in your

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The first thing that we always encourage you to do is to press a pause on dating.

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It really allows you the opportunity to focus on your heart and that's what's needed in this time

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is for you to like Bethany was talking about rest for you to step back and have the time and

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opportunity to work with Holy Spirit on your own heart work. And so if you can just hold off

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and allow that time between you and God and Holy Spirit to do the work, then that will really

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lay a strong foundation for you as you move ahead in the different phases. And in that respect,

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we also encourage you to at the minimum, allow yourself one week of content for the five weeks.

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So you can move through slower if you need it, but we really encourage you to set that as a

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baseline pace to go through one week of content at a time in the five weeks. You're always welcome

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to take as long as you need. But those two things are really important. Press a pause on dating

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and allow one week for each time. And the other thing that's important while you're doing that

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is really good self-care. This is hard work. This is emotional work. This is digging deep and

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digging in. And so you really want to be allowing time for rest. Give yourself margins in your

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schedule and in your day that can give you opportunity to be quiet before the Lord. Drink

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water, lots of water. And of course you always feel better when you eat healthier. So try to

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healthy choices and really take care of yourself during this time. And one way that I love to make

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sure that I'm taking care of myself, that actually is restful, even though I'm moving

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is I call it my walk and talk with God where I'm away from distractions. And I really just,

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I walk in a place that's peaceful for me and it allows me a lot of time to reflect and to listen.

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And I love how God always shows up for me and just talks to me, whispers those things that he's

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continuing to work on in my life, just like he will do in yours. And the movement is good for

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your body. Okay. Now I'm going to go ahead and I'll pray us in and we'll get started tonight.

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It's good to have everyone here. Father God, we thank you for meeting us where we are for the

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work that you have to do and want to do in each one of these ladies hearts for the purposes and

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plans that you have for them to be their most authentic self, to be healed and to walk in the

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freedom that that brings for them. I ask that tonight there would be revealing for healing,

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that there would be aha moments and things that are nuggets of truth that they can take with them

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into their week and be encouraged and continue in this purpose and process for this divine appointment

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in you bringing them here. Bless Bethany tonight as she speaks, may your words flow from her and

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just continue to be a blessing. You use her each week and thank you for doing so again this week.

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In your name I pray. Amen. Thank you so much. I'm very excited to talk tonight about a couple

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different topics. One of the things we're going to lean into tonight is the story of Candice.

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For those of you that are brand new you might not have heard this yet in the content.

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For those of you that have been here for a little while you might have heard it and maybe don't even

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recall it or maybe some of you remember exactly what I'm talking about when I say that. We're

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going to talk about the story of Candice. We're going to kind of lean into that, the reality that

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God cares about you. We're going to talk about the different layers of what he cares about

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and we're going to talk about broken promises. Okay and we're going in this direction because

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ladies the reality is this. If we don't believe that God is good, not just in our heads but in

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our hearts, if we don't believe that then God can try to give us something to bless us and we won't

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be able to receive it. Whether that's the truth of his word, whether that's a friendship, whether

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that's a romantic relationship in the future, maybe for some of

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you it's a job, maybe for some of you it's a house. I don't know what your needs are,

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but God does and he is wanting you to know that he truly is a good father

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who gives good gifts to his children. But so many of us, because of brokenness and trauma

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that we've experienced, we say we trust the Lord and we say that we believe that he's good,

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but so many of us in our heart, our subconscious self, is actually telling us the opposite.

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Okay, so tonight hopefully is going to, excuse me, reveal some lies that you've been believing

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about God and things that you believe about him also, the opposite, that actually aren't true.

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So there's just these things that are floating around in our subconscious because of things

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we've gone through and we don't realize how they're invading in our souls and it's creating

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a toxic environment and those toxic environments make it really hard to receive the fullness of

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his blessings for us. And so the story of Candace, I'm not going to go through the whole thing

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because you guys have either heard it or you will, but I want to touch on it briefly because it sets

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a very good stage for what we're going to talk about tonight. Candace was someone that God was

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talking to Jackie about. God was saying to Jackie that Candace is going to be there and she needs

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healing. There were these conferences that were happening, there were two different conferences

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in two different places, but God just kept speaking to Jackie over and over about Candace.

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Candace needs healing and she's going to be there, but Jackie didn't know who Candace was.

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So I want you to understand in this story, God knew who Candace was and he knew how to get her what

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he needed to give her and he was willing to use Jackie to be a conduit of that flow of healing to

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Candace. Candace ended up being someone who showed up on the scene that wasn't the original speaker,

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but the original speaker canceled and Candace filled in. So that's why Jackie had no clue who

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Candace even was because Candace wasn't on the docket. Candace wasn't supposed to be this person

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that filled in as a speaker and so even after the conferences were over, Jackie started

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just asking how they went and that's how she found out who Candace was. So here's what I want you to

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be thinking about. God knows what you need, God knows where you are, and he knows how to get you

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what you need, but do you believe that's how much he cares about you? Do you believe that he's

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actually moving things and speaking to people on your behalf even right now, people that you don't

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even know that God can put your name on their heart and say something just like what he said

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to Jackie and maybe instead of the name Candace, maybe it's Megan. Megan needs healing

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and I want to get it to her, you know, and sends people to you. He's drawn every single one of you

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here to this heartwork course and process for such a time as this. He has divinely led you and

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drawn each one of you, whether you realize it or not, God's hand is at play in you being here

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even tonight. And so God is working in you, he's doing things, he's shifting things, and so part of

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my prayer for you is that tonight that God will you reveal to them right now any areas that they

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are currently struggling to believe that you, God, care about their needs and their wants.

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So many of us, oh yeah, I believe that God wants to provide my needs, but what about your wants?

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Do you think he actually cares about those? Now there's a caveat here, ladies. Sometimes the

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things that we want are actually not good for us. Case in point, I was in a relationship for six

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years with my spiritual daughter's dad that was not good for me. I didn't know how bad it was for

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me in the beginning, and I pleaded with God to lead him to commit to me and to want to marry me

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and you all all the things. I tried to be better and and sexier and this and that and all these

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things, and it still was never enough, you all. He still cheated, he still lied, he still was

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he still put me down. It didn't matter what I did, but here I was praying and asking God to

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change his heart, to change his heart, to make it work, to help us come together. Y'all, we were not

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meant to come together. God was protecting me from something that would have literally probably

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killed me. Emotionally, there were already things. When I look back now at pictures from that time in

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my life, like there wasn't light in my eyes. I was existing.

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I was moving, I was doing things, you know, I was doing my best to serve the Lord,

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but when I look at pictures, I just don't even look like the same person.

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Because every time something bad happened in that relationship,

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it just, it caused me to lose another piece of myself.

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And God did not have that for me.

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God wanted me to be in a healthy relationship where I could come alive

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and thrive and laugh and do silly things like I talked to you guys about,

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you know, army crawling to scare my husband, you all, these are real things.

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God wanted me to have that kind of relationship.

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But I had to trust him enough to surrender fully and give that other thing up

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and take some time to heal and prepare for what God had for me and my husband now, Brian.

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I would not have been able to receive Brian if I had not gone through the heart work and the healing

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and all of the things that you guys are going through in your process right now.

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So I'm asking God to reveal to you that he is good and that he will come through for you.

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You know, Sarah, he's going to come through for you, Tiffany and Jennifer and Mary.

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He's not just going to come through for other people.

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Some of y'all, that's kind of like where you park your heart.

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God, you're just always coming through for them and you're blessing them and they're getting married

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and they're having babies and they're getting this and they're getting that.

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But God, you aren't doing any of that for me.

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And there's no shame in it, ladies, because I used to live there too.

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But God wants to invite you to come out of that tonight.

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He wants you to come out of the alignment with those lies that God is only good to other people,

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but he's not really good. He just doesn't come through for me like he does other people.

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And so many times we don't even really realize that's what we believe.

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But what happens is when the pressure is applied, the lies are revealed.

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And so I just want you to be thinking about how many times have you partnered with,

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yeah, this is just, nothing's ever going to change.

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This is never going to work out for me.

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You know, God just kind of passes me by, like whether you realize it or not,

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maybe you've never said those words out of your mouth, but somewhere in your heart,

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you just don't believe that God is really this promise keeper that you hear about.

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You actually feel like he's a promise breaker. He's a trickster. He's a deceiver.

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But that's the enemy, Satan, the devourer, who comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

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That isn't the God that you serve.

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But somewhere along the way, things kept shifting and shifting and shifting in your heart and your mind

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until you believed the lie that was fed to you.

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Letdowns, trauma, and unhealed wounds from the past can cause us to view God and others

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through filters and false lenses.

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Remember, for those of you, if you're just joining us for the first time tonight,

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you wouldn't have seen this last week, but it is available in the replay.

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But I put on the sunglasses, and I was kind of representing how, you know,

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the lenses and the filters that we wear subconsciously are the same thing as like those lenses.

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It changed the way that I saw the things around me.

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It changed the colors of the things that I was seeing.

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And so some of you, that is where you're at.

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You are being impacted still by those traumas and those unhealed wounds and the letdowns from the past.

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Numbers 23.19 in the King James Version says this,

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I'm going to read the same scripture in the Message Version now.

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Again, this is Numbers 23.19.

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It says,

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For some of you, the difficulty that you have in believing that God is a promise keeper

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is because people in your life, man, let you down.

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Someone broke a promise to you.

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Maybe multiple people have broken promises to you.

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And when those things happened, you didn't actually receive the healing that you needed

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so that you could believe the truth.

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So that stuff is still down underneath of there.

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You know, even little things.

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This just came up in my spirit.

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I know this was a movie, but there's this, the Santa Claus movie,

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way back years ago with Tim Allen.

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And the adult people in the movie, both of them,

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Tim Allen's ex-wife and this guy that she was married to now,

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you know, there was this whole scene around these gifts that they wanted when they were little children for Christmas.

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And how they didn't believe in Santa.

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And I know we don't, okay, we're not going all the way here,

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but I just want to use this as kind of like symbolism.

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little bit. They didn't believe in Santa Claus because they didn't get these gifts that they

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wanted when they were little kids. But that's actually what happens in us. There's these gifts

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or these things that we wanted long ago or even maybe five years ago or two years ago. I don't

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know what your time frame is, but because you didn't get it, you started believing the lie that

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God, A, is he even real? Can he come through for me? Well, he hasn't before. The enemy tells you

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he hasn't come through for you before, so he's not going to do it again. But here's the thing

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that's really kind of crazy is he actually has come through for us before. But in that moment,

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because we're in pain, we're like, you're right. God never comes through for me. And we partner

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with the lie. And so again, tonight, all these things, I'm kind of sowing these seeds.

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It's all about coming out of agreement with those lies and deciding that tonight is your night,

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your D-Day. It's your decision day. And that you, I feel the Holy Spirit. I didn't even say that

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this afternoon. That was so good. It's D-Day. It's time for you to decide I am not going back to that

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camp anymore. I'm not going to stay in the land of Egypt and believe the lies that God isn't

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going to come through for me anymore. I'm going to partner with the truth that God is on my side.

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He's working even when I can't see it, that I am a bride because he's called me and he's positioned

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me and he's preparing me. And I'm going to receive the promise. I'm going to receive the fullness

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of the promise, every good gift that he had for me from before he even formed me in the womb.

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That's the God that we serve. But so often, again, we struggle to let go of the less than

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that we're holding on to. Even some of you, you know, the less than is the areas of temptation

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and sin that we're still struggling with. But yeah, we're asking God to give us this beautiful

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marriage and relationship. But these things over here, they're just taking up all this room.

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And God's asking you, will you surrender that? Will you surrender that and start to believe that

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I'm good? Start to see that I want to bless you and I want to anoint you and I want to lead you

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into the land flowing with milk and honey, with every good thing and even things greater than we

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could ever imagine you all. That's where he wants to lead us. Psalm 31 16 says, let your face shine

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on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love for thy mercy's sake. That unfailing love there

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in the Hebrews actually means goodness, kindness, faithfulness, merciful. So I'm going to read it

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again to you. Let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your goodness. Save me in your kindness.

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Save me in your faithfulness. I want you to just, again, just imagine everything good that God is

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that just literally emanates from him to us, that as he turns his face towards you, his servant

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tonight, Leslie, Gabriella, Lydia, that as he's turning his face towards you, he's literally

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encompassing you and everything good that he is. We're going to keep going. We're going to look more

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at what the Bible says about this unfailing love, and I'm going to show you all several different

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layers of it tonight. Psalm 32 verse 10 says this, many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's

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unfailing love surrounds those, excuse me, surrounds the one who trusts in him. Unfailing love again

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is mercy shall encompass about them. So those that trust in the Lord, this word surrounds

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actually means to turn about, to be around, to be aside, to be back, to be towards, to go about or

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around, to surround or encircle you. So again, I want you to kind of imagine not in this harsh

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scary way, but God encircling you and surrounding you with his love. You know, the Bible talks about

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hiding us under the shadow of his wings and in the presence of the almighty, like God, that isn't

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something scary you all, that is literally God saying, I love you so much, my daughter,

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as you trust me, I'm going to surround you and head you in on every side with my unfailing love.

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His love doesn't fail. It's fail proof, literally,

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not height or depth, nor principality, nor power, nor things in

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present or things to come can ever separate you from his love if you remain in it. That's the

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key, ladies. It's if we remain in his love, rooted and grounded in no matter what comes our way. And

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you know what? Sometimes life is utterly hard. Sometimes it's full of anxiety and fear. I know

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the struggles that some of y'all are facing. I've walked where some of you are right now,

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where it's like, why hasn't this worked? Why isn't it? You know, again, I was in that

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situationship because that's what I was in. I wanted him to commit. I wanted him to commit.

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The guy was not healthy enough to commit, nor was he mature enough, marriage minded or masculine.

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He acted rough and tough. Could beat anybody up. He always wanted to fight everybody. You all know

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that is not masculine. Okay. That's divine masculine, out of balance and all fragmented

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and broken. There was a little boy on the inside trying to prove himself and I don't judge him.

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Y'all, I really don't because I know why he is the way he is. And I feel, you know, brokenness

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for him. I hope that one day for my, my spiritual daughter's sake, that he truly gets delivered

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and set free from that stuff. It could change his whole life. So as we keep going, I want you to be

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thinking about, even in your own failures, God, he like is willing just to continue as you trust me.

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I'm going to surround you. I'm going to envelop you with my love. Psalm 33 verse 5, 8, excuse me,

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5, 18 and 22. I'm going to show you again in the same chapter. There's these different layers of

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this unfailing love. The Lord loves righteousness and justice. This is verse 5. The earth is full

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of his unfailing love. In this scripture, it is of the goodness of the Lord. So if the earth is full

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of the goodness of the Lord, then why do we believe we can experience it?

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Sit with, I just want you to sit there for a minute in that.

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If you believe that you don't experience the goodness of God or can't, why is that what you

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believe? If the earth is full of it, verse 18, but the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him

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on those who hope whose hope is in his unfailing love. In this verse, it actually means mercy.

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The eyes are of the Lord are on those who fear him on those whose hope is in his mercy. Do you

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believe that he's merciful to you? Or do you believe that he's up there with his gavel,

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just waiting to bring judgment down on you? Y'all, these are real lies. We believe,

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but we've got to ask, where did they come from? Verse 22, may your unfailing love be with us,

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even as we put our hope in you. Unfailing love here means mercy and goodness.

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He's combined them both now into one word. His mercy and his goodness can be ours.

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There's a song called Sparrows. You guys, many of you have probably heard it. I'm going to read

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some of the lyrics over you really quickly tonight. And I want you just to really be

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about what it's saying here and the things that you need and the things that you want

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and how much God wants to provide for you even more than the sparrows.

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The sparrow's not worried about tomorrow or the troubles to come. The lily's not thinking about

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the seasons, the drought, or the flood. A tree that's planted by the water isn't fazed by the

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fire. So why should I be? Because you take good care of me. You take good care of me. You know

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what I need before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with a kindness that never

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ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the future brings. Yeah, you take good care of me.

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The sun's not worried about the winter because soon it will pass. The light's not thinking about

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the darkness or the shadow that it cast. A heart that is planted in forgiveness doesn't dwell in

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the past. So why should I be? Because you take good care of me. You take good care of me. You

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know what I need before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with a kindness that never

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ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the future brings. Yeah, you take good care of me.

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I want you to be thinking right now even about, you know, last week we talked about forgiveness,

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ladies, and how important it is to obey and choose to forgive because we've been forgiven.

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given. That part of the lyric there, a heart that's planted in forgiveness doesn't dwell in

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the past. So why should I be? I want you to be thinking about the reality is that when we dwell

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on the past and the broken promises, and we just keep dwelling on them versus healing from them and

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moving forward, you're allowing yourself to live below the potential and the blessings that God

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has for you. God is calling us to come out of these fear postures, these lack postures, orphan

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mentalities, limiting beliefs that I'm never going to get what I want or need. And for some of you,

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it's because you genuinely did not get your needs met. Not just things that you wanted,

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like some of you didn't actually even get your needs met as a child. Basic love and care.

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And some of you experienced that with a former spouse or someone else.

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And God wants to show you that that was not his plan for you.

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His plan was good and it was full of life and hope. And then trauma entered your world.

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And that broke his heart. So on that note, why is this time any different for you? Some of you,

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that's what you battle every day. Well, this hasn't worked for me before, so I don't even know

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if this is going to be any different. I don't even know if I really should do this heartwork because

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I don't even know if it's going to matter. Some of you have done heart healing before

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and you still feel like you're struggling. And so the enemy is just trying to convince you to quit.

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I was there. Of course he wants us to quit. But if you keep going, I believe that you will be

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just a totally different person at the end of this process. And in the months ahead,

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you're going to start to see things different about yourself. So why is this time different?

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Because I believe by faith that you are different. That every single one of you, every day that

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you're in this heartwork course, you are becoming someone brand new and you're unbecoming those

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counterfeit identities that you've been living into. And so it's going to be different because

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you're going to be different. So you're going to choose differently, I hope, and we pray.

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For those of you that might blow through and you won't fully apply the course, you might

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struggle and flounder and you might make some choices that aren't the best for you still.

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But for those of you, you know, you really stay the course and you allow the community to come

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around you and you really listen to the things the coaches are saying to you, even beyond this

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heartwork course, when you're dating someone and we're like, hey, this guy doesn't seem healthy

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for you and you listen to what we're saying, it could change your whole life.

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Ecclesiastes 3.1 in the message version says this,

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there's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth.

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We believe God has divinely drawn each one of you here for such a time as this.

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That God has brought you here to prepare you. He put a promise in your heart for

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a covenant relationship, not just romance, a covenant, healthy, whole relationship.

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Not perfect. Y'all, there's a difference. There are no perfects, but healthy and whole

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and a blessing. That's what God has for you. So heart change equals life change.

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Real and lasting change is a process. The process that you are in right now is so

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important. So remember what I said a little bit ago, don't give up, stay in the game.

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When the enemy tries to get you into isolation to pull away from the community, I want to encourage

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you, don't pull away. Don't listen to him. Lean in, come into the group. Those times that he's,

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he's trying to convince you to quit or that, you know, that person didn't even respond to your

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posts, y'all, those little things. I know, you know, someone doesn't respond in the timeframe

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that you think they should. And we just hear all these lies. I'm not seen. Nobody ever sees me.

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My voice doesn't matter, but here, stay in the game, do the process. And the life change that

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will happen is going to change so many other things for you.

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Sorry, y'all. I just don't want to forget what I wanted to say to you.

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So part of the problem for us as well, as we live in a culture where it's microwave,

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you know, it's go through the drive-through, everything is fast, fast, fast, and it's not fast

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enough. I don't know if y'all have ever done this before, but I did this recently. Thankfully,

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I didn't say anything to anybody, but in my head, I was thinking these things.

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I'm in the drive-through and, you know.

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Oh, it wasn't super speedy in that moment.

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And I was in a hurry.

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And I remember thinking like,

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man, what's taking them so long?

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Y'all, it really wasn't that long.

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It was that I was in a hurry.

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And as soon as I had that thought in my head,

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man, what is taking, I'm looking in the,

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you know, you look in the window like, where are they at?

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Where are they at in there?

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What's taking so long?

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I know some of y'all do too,

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because I see you laughing.

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But anyways, the Holy Spirit said to me,

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well, it's not really taken so long, Bethany.

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And I was like, hmm, you're right.

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It's not.

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I'm gonna simmer down.

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I'm just gonna be thankful for this moment to pause.

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I'm gonna thank the Lord for these people

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that are making my coffee right now

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that I don't actually need.

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It's just something I wanted.

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And I'm gonna be blessed in this moment

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because I'm not in a rush right now.

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I don't have to be in a rush.

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I was choosing, yes, sometimes my schedule is very full,

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but I don't have to live in an internal rush state of mind

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that then pours out onto other people.

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So I'm giving that to you for free too,

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because for some of you, God's wanting you to slow down.

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He wants you to be thankful for the pause moments,

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to be a blessing to the people that are serving you.

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And we can come out of alignment of,

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I have to have everything super fast.

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So why am I saying that to you?

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Well, because so often people don't want the process,

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even in the heart work.

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People don't even wanna go into the next phase

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and actually have to learn how to date healthy.

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They just wanna go into the dating and do it by themselves

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and they go MIA.

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So you all, I'm telling you now, don't do that.

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Don't do that.

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Don't be one of those people.

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Stay engaged.

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Cause those are the ones that literally learned so much

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and they avoid pitfalls and these guys

401
00:37:07.980 --> 00:37:10.140
that just are up to no good.

402
00:37:10.500 --> 00:37:11.720
They're just up to no good.

403
00:37:12.100 --> 00:37:15.460
And we can say to you, hey, this guy's up to no good.

404
00:37:16.440 --> 00:37:18.440
Bless and move on, okay?

405
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:23.340
But if you just disappear and you go off on your own again,

406
00:37:23.340 --> 00:37:25.760
thinking, okay, I got my healed heart

407
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:29.240
and now I'm just gonna go out and DIY this part of it

408
00:37:29.240 --> 00:37:31.220
and try to do it all by yourself

409
00:37:31.980 --> 00:37:33.720
without the additional tools,

410
00:37:33.800 --> 00:37:36.000
I'm telling you, it's a pitfall.

411
00:37:36.300 --> 00:37:38.420
There's gonna be all kinds of landmines

412
00:37:38.420 --> 00:37:40.140
that you don't even know you're about to enter.

413
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:41.880
And so be thinking about that,

414
00:37:42.160 --> 00:37:43.300
prepare your heart for that now.

415
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:45.720
Cause I'm not just trying to convince you,

416
00:37:45.720 --> 00:37:47.320
I'm telling you, I've been through this.

417
00:37:47.700 --> 00:37:50.340
Community was a game changer for me.

418
00:37:50.940 --> 00:37:53.360
It helped me really recognize,

419
00:37:53.520 --> 00:37:55.820
in the past I just kept picking the wrong people.

420
00:37:56.360 --> 00:37:58.480
And I remember literally saying to my counselor

421
00:37:58.480 --> 00:37:59.820
before I came into this program,

422
00:37:59.920 --> 00:38:01.120
there's somebody I was working with,

423
00:38:02.400 --> 00:38:03.360
my picker is broken.

424
00:38:03.460 --> 00:38:06.040
She asked me why, why I felt like I needed a counselor.

425
00:38:06.260 --> 00:38:08.460
I said, well, I think I literally said to her,

426
00:38:08.460 --> 00:38:09.940
I think my picker is broken.

427
00:38:10.100 --> 00:38:12.880
I keep picking these really unhealthy people

428
00:38:13.240 --> 00:38:14.780
and I don't know how to stop.

429
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:16.680
And that's what I said to her.

430
00:38:16.780 --> 00:38:18.480
And so she started working with me.

431
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:20.020
And that was before, again,

432
00:38:20.020 --> 00:38:22.600
God was having me work with her to prepare me

433
00:38:22.600 --> 00:38:23.980
before I even came into the heartwork.

434
00:38:24.740 --> 00:38:26.480
And then God brought me here.

435
00:38:26.680 --> 00:38:28.000
So for those of you,

436
00:38:28.080 --> 00:38:30.580
I really want you to be thinking and praying about,

437
00:38:30.820 --> 00:38:32.600
you know, these areas where you're trying

438
00:38:32.600 --> 00:38:36.300
to just be in a rush and maybe missing the process

439
00:38:36.540 --> 00:38:40.600
and the promise that is encapsulated in the process.

440
00:38:41.100 --> 00:38:41.540
Okay.

441
00:38:41.780 --> 00:38:44.600
I'm gonna have Annette share a couple things as well.

442
00:38:44.600 --> 00:38:45.680
And then we're gonna keep going.

443
00:38:50.740 --> 00:38:51.600
There we go.

444
00:38:52.160 --> 00:38:53.380
It took me a minute to unmute.

445
00:38:53.640 --> 00:38:54.220
That's all right.

446
00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:56.400
So for those of you that don't know as well,

447
00:38:56.700 --> 00:38:58.940
Annette Lewis is one of our peer coaches in the community.

448
00:38:59.080 --> 00:39:01.840
And so we're so blessed to have her here with us tonight

449
00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:02.880
to share as well.

450
00:39:03.500 --> 00:39:04.520
It's good to be back.

451
00:39:04.680 --> 00:39:05.740
I had to miss last week.

452
00:39:06.040 --> 00:39:07.680
Actually, I got to spend some time with my husband,

453
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:08.660
which was fabulous.

454
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:11.860
So I'm glad to be back this week.

455
00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:17.580
One of the things that as I was thinking about

456
00:39:17.780 --> 00:39:18.460
and asking God for help,

457
00:39:18.460 --> 00:39:19.980
what he wanted me to share about,

458
00:39:21.380 --> 00:39:23.980
one of the things that will always stand out to me

459
00:39:23.980 --> 00:39:26.540
is when I was growing up, my physical needs were met.

460
00:39:26.800 --> 00:39:28.120
We had a roof over our head.

461
00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:29.620
My parents both worked.

462
00:39:30.220 --> 00:39:31.600
So our basic needs were met.

463
00:39:31.720 --> 00:39:35.940
But as far as emotional needs and nurturing

464
00:39:35.940 --> 00:39:39.100
and encouraging and supportive environment at home,

465
00:39:39.100 --> 00:39:40.100
that wasn't there.

466
00:39:40.220 --> 00:39:43.900
So I often was left feeling like if I needed anything

467
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:47.080
or wanted anything, I needed to make it happen

468
00:39:47.080 --> 00:39:49.760
or I needed to try to figure it out.

469
00:39:50.640 --> 00:39:53.940
And so honestly, I still struggle with that sometimes now.

470
00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:55.740
I'll run ahead of God a little bit,

471
00:39:55.880 --> 00:39:57.620
trying to figure it out.

472
00:39:57.820 --> 00:39:59.980
And he always comes along and shows up.

473
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.940
me like, if you just will wait for me, I've got the answer. I

474
00:40:06.940 --> 00:40:11.380
can show you. And an example that I always go back to when

475
00:40:11.380 --> 00:40:14.160
I'll, and I'll think I'm doing that. And again, God, aren't I?

476
00:40:16.740 --> 00:40:20.280
When Arthur and I first started dating, there was something

477
00:40:20.280 --> 00:40:24.360
deeply personal to me that I wanted to talk to him about. And

478
00:40:24.360 --> 00:40:28.520
I, I really had thought about it all along in the time that I was

479
00:40:28.660 --> 00:40:33.760
dating. But would be like, I don't know when the right time

480
00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:36.580
is to have the conversation. I don't want to be too vulnerable

481
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:40.600
upfront. This is important to me, it may not be important to

482
00:40:40.600 --> 00:40:46.700
them, it may be a game changer to them. And so I would mull it

483
00:40:46.700 --> 00:40:51.400
over trying to figure it out on my own. And trying to think, you

484
00:40:51.400 --> 00:40:57.200
know, have all the answers for myself. And not too long after

485
00:40:57.200 --> 00:41:00.840
Arthur and I started dating, he said, there's something I really

486
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:05.740
want to talk to you about. I was like, Okay, you know, let's talk

487
00:41:05.740 --> 00:41:09.620
about, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. And then he

488
00:41:09.620 --> 00:41:12.920
actually ended up leaving to drive back to Canada. And when

489
00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:17.100
he I said, you didn't talk to me about what he goes, I know, I

490
00:41:17.100 --> 00:41:20.600
wanted to talk to you about it on the phone, so that I wasn't

491
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:24.860
there. And I was like, Okay, and I was really nervous. Like, what

492
00:41:24.860 --> 00:41:28.600
is he going to talk to me about? What is he going to say? And do

493
00:41:28.600 --> 00:41:33.360
you know that the exact same thing I wanted to talk to him

494
00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:37.440
about that was important to me, that could be a game changer for

495
00:41:37.860 --> 00:41:43.160
somebody was the exact same thing. He wanted to talk to me

496
00:41:43.680 --> 00:41:48.180
about that could be a game changer for me. And if it wasn't

497
00:41:48.180 --> 00:41:52.920
important to me, then it would be a deal breaker for him, just

498
00:41:52.920 --> 00:42:00.840
like it was for me. You guys, I worried about it for months, in

499
00:42:00.840 --> 00:42:06.440
different dating relationships. And then I showed up in com and

500
00:42:06.440 --> 00:42:10.280
because Arthur started the conversation first, I was able

501
00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:16.040
to say, I'm so glad that we're talking about this, because I

502
00:42:16.040 --> 00:42:21.420
just didn't know the right time to have the conversation. And I

503
00:42:21.420 --> 00:42:26.380
always go back to it now. And remember that if I just leave it

504
00:42:26.380 --> 00:42:32.040
at God's feet, and trust in him, that he loves me, he cares for

505
00:42:32.040 --> 00:42:36.400
me. And he's in the details. Even before he brought Arthur

506
00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:41.200
and I together, he was already working out that, that

507
00:42:41.240 --> 00:42:45.680
conversation. And I was worried about the details. And God had

508
00:42:45.680 --> 00:42:50.240
already gone before me. And he had everything worked out for

509
00:42:50.240 --> 00:42:55.840
both of us. But we chose to be worried about it, and try and

510
00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:03.020
figure it out on our own. And, and we spent a lot of time

511
00:43:03.020 --> 00:43:05.040
worrying that we didn't need to worry about if we would have

512
00:43:05.040 --> 00:43:09.120
just rested in the peace and presence of God, that he's in

513
00:43:09.660 --> 00:43:14.280
the story, he's in the details, he's interested in the things

514
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:17.720
that are important to our hearts. And he cares for us, we

515
00:43:17.720 --> 00:43:23.860
don't have to try to provide it on our own. Yeah.

516
00:43:26.380 --> 00:43:29.860
And I'll go, I go back and think about that, no matter how little

517
00:43:29.860 --> 00:43:35.300
something is, I can take it to God. And I've even prayed about

518
00:43:35.300 --> 00:43:38.400
parking spots in the rain, I've got natural curly hair, I don't

519
00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:42.400
want to run in the rain into a building, I want something

520
00:43:42.420 --> 00:43:46.860
close. And I'll and it sounds crazy. But there's even

521
00:43:46.860 --> 00:43:53.460
sometimes when I'm like, a spot right up front. So I love that.

522
00:43:54.420 --> 00:43:54.780
That's,

523
00:43:55.480 --> 00:43:58.520
y'all he's in the big things and the small things. That's what I

524
00:43:58.520 --> 00:44:01.320
hear out of what is sharing right now. And it's super

525
00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:06.320
important for y'all to understand that. I'm Amy is

526
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:09.580
saying is it ever? Is it ever super hard to articulate what

527
00:44:09.580 --> 00:44:12.220
exactly you need? Because you're so used to having to figure it

528
00:44:12.220 --> 00:44:15.540
out on your own? Yes, I think so. I think that part of the

529
00:44:15.780 --> 00:44:20.640
process there is asking God to help you know yourself. Like to

530
00:44:20.640 --> 00:44:24.600
really get to know what are your needs? What are your wants? Some

531
00:44:24.600 --> 00:44:30.540
of you haven't dreamed of things that you want in so long, like,

532
00:44:31.260 --> 00:44:35.100
um, I had a lady this afternoon that was sharing, you know, she

533
00:44:35.100 --> 00:44:39.200
has a dream to have a house built, and all this stuff that

534
00:44:39.200 --> 00:44:42.640
she's wanting in the house or needs in the house. And, and

535
00:44:42.640 --> 00:44:45.920
she's been hearing lies, like, you know, basically, you're too

536
00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:49.600
old for this to even for this dream to come to pass and, you

537
00:44:49.600 --> 00:44:52.940
know, some other things. And so, you know, some of you are going

538
00:44:52.940 --> 00:44:56.180
to start to have dreams bubble up in you. And the enemy is

539
00:44:56.180 --> 00:44:59.200
going to try to come quick and steal that. But we got to guard

540
00:44:59.240 --> 00:44:59.980
that stuff. And

541
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.360
You got to really allow that to percolate

542
00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:04.080
and come to the surface.

543
00:45:04.160 --> 00:45:05.180
And the more that you heal,

544
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:08.160
the more that you should most likely experience

545
00:45:08.160 --> 00:45:09.520
some of that, okay?

546
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:11.640
So as we start to move forward,

547
00:45:11.760 --> 00:45:13.220
we're getting ready for breakout sessions.

548
00:45:13.260 --> 00:45:15.080
This is not your question for breakout,

549
00:45:15.240 --> 00:45:17.500
but I do want you all to be talking to the Lord

550
00:45:17.720 --> 00:45:19.900
about this question this week.

551
00:45:20.160 --> 00:45:21.560
And here's the question.

552
00:45:22.740 --> 00:45:25.000
Where do you currently need an upgrade

553
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:28.520
in your understanding of God's care for you?

554
00:45:29.240 --> 00:45:32.460
So this week, I want you talking to the Lord about it,

555
00:45:32.560 --> 00:45:33.580
meditating on this.

556
00:45:34.840 --> 00:45:36.960
Where do you currently need an upgrade

557
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:41.380
in your understanding of God's care for you personally?

558
00:45:41.800 --> 00:45:47.660
Not your sister, not your mom, not your friend, but for you.

559
00:45:49.780 --> 00:45:51.300
And so spend some time talking to him

560
00:45:51.300 --> 00:45:52.260
about that this weekend.

561
00:45:52.600 --> 00:45:53.700
And ladies, I want to encourage you

562
00:45:53.700 --> 00:45:56.880
to get really honest with yourself, okay?

563
00:45:57.640 --> 00:46:00.520
Now, here's your question for the breakout session tonight.

564
00:46:02.080 --> 00:46:03.740
We're going to talk about the broken promises.

565
00:46:04.380 --> 00:46:07.740
When was a time someone broke a promise they made to you

566
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:11.320
and how is it still affecting you today?

567
00:46:13.040 --> 00:46:15.800
When is a time someone broke a promise that they made to you

568
00:46:15.800 --> 00:46:17.640
and how is it still affecting you today?

569
00:46:17.740 --> 00:46:21.180
We had a lovely sister bring up this afternoon

570
00:46:22.080 --> 00:46:24.280
that it actually wasn't someone else

571
00:46:24.280 --> 00:46:25.820
who broke the promise to her,

572
00:46:25.820 --> 00:46:28.820
but she broke some promises to herself.

573
00:46:29.900 --> 00:46:31.580
So I'm throwing that out there

574
00:46:31.580 --> 00:46:33.800
for y'all to talk about that if that's you.

575
00:46:34.360 --> 00:46:37.060
And it's more the promises that you've broken

576
00:46:37.540 --> 00:46:40.520
that have harmed yourself that you need to talk about.

577
00:46:40.640 --> 00:46:41.380
That's okay too.

578
00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:43.120
So I just want to make sure everybody knows that.

579
00:46:43.460 --> 00:46:45.720
Let me get these breakout sessions ready for you.

580
00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:47.100
It's going to be great.

581
00:46:47.120 --> 00:46:49.560
Some of y'all, you know, you're brand new.

582
00:46:49.640 --> 00:46:51.700
You're not going to know the person in the room with you,

583
00:46:51.760 --> 00:46:52.900
but you're going to get to know them tonight.

584
00:46:52.980 --> 00:46:54.620
This is how sisterhood grows.

585
00:46:54.620 --> 00:46:57.280
And this is how new friendships can be formed.

586
00:46:58.340 --> 00:47:00.260
All kinds of good stuff can happen here, okay?

587
00:47:00.620 --> 00:47:03.000
We're going to do this for eight minutes tonight.

588
00:47:04.960 --> 00:47:06.200
Make sure I got this set right.

589
00:47:06.380 --> 00:47:07.680
Okay, go ahead and click.

590
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:09.280
That's going to be up on your screen.

591
00:47:09.600 --> 00:47:11.500
Click to join those as quick as you can.

592
00:47:13.020 --> 00:47:15.140
Remember not to try to fix each other, just share.

593
00:47:39.900 --> 00:47:41.160
There we go.

594
00:47:42.100 --> 00:47:43.000
Give me a moment, ladies.

595
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:45.300
I'm going to try to get people switched around here.

596
00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:47.640
12.

597
00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:03.020
11.

598
00:48:03.020 --> 00:48:03.640
Almost there.

599
00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:05.260
Bear with me.

600
00:48:05.760 --> 00:48:07.480
I'm going to make sure all these rooms are,

601
00:48:07.480 --> 00:48:10.040
just got some people by themselves still sitting here.

602
00:48:16.060 --> 00:48:19.000
Okay, she's going to have to bump too.

603
00:48:23.260 --> 00:48:24.480
Okay, I think I got everyone.

604
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:26.140
Let me just double check these.

605
00:48:26.440 --> 00:48:27.500
Father, thank you so much.

606
00:48:27.540 --> 00:48:30.680
As I'm kind of glancing over these rooms again,

607
00:48:30.680 --> 00:48:33.780
for everyone that's here, that's in the breakouts,

608
00:48:33.820 --> 00:48:35.100
those that are in the main room,

609
00:48:35.220 --> 00:48:37.000
God, those that are going to watch the replay,

610
00:48:37.420 --> 00:48:40.020
thank you that you are working in ways beyond yourself.

611
00:48:40.020 --> 00:48:40.020


612
00:48:40.020 --> 00:48:40.020


613
00:48:40.020 --> 00:48:40.060
And God, thank you that you are working in ways

614
00:48:40.060 --> 00:48:42.300
beyond what we could ever ask, think or imagine.

615
00:48:43.580 --> 00:48:46.900
God, I thank you that you would renew their understanding

616
00:48:46.900 --> 00:48:49.060
of you as a good father tonight,

617
00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:53.520
who is faithful to your word,

618
00:48:53.640 --> 00:48:55.280
that you are a promise keeper,

619
00:48:55.480 --> 00:48:57.560
that you're not a man that you should lie,

620
00:48:57.940 --> 00:49:00.920
that you have good things in store for them,

621
00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:03.420
and that you are preparing them for the promises

622
00:49:03.420 --> 00:49:05.620
that you have for them in the days ahead.

623
00:49:05.620 --> 00:49:09.640
God, we thank you that you would continue to transform them

624
00:49:09.640 --> 00:49:11.100
by the renewing of their minds,

625
00:49:11.640 --> 00:49:13.820
that all old things have passed away,

626
00:49:14.320 --> 00:49:16.780
and behold, everything is becoming new and new.

627
00:49:16.900 --> 00:49:19.940
We thank you, God, that you're just showing us the areas

628
00:49:19.940 --> 00:49:22.400
where we need to come out of alignment and agreement

629
00:49:22.820 --> 00:49:26.120
with the lies of the enemy, with lack, with doubt,

630
00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:28.440
with unbelief, with fear,

631
00:49:28.560 --> 00:49:30.680
which is false evidence appearing real.

632
00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:33.140
We thank you, God, that you're showing us your goodness

633
00:49:33.140 --> 00:49:35.480
and your truth more every day.

634
00:49:35.480 --> 00:49:38.460
Hi, Stacy and Saruthi.

635
00:49:38.820 --> 00:49:40.240
I think that might be how you say it.

636
00:49:40.240 --> 00:49:41.320
I'm not sure if I said that wrong.

637
00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:43.380
Did you all get kicked out of a room

638
00:49:43.380 --> 00:49:44.780
or are you all just joining us?

639
00:49:47.760 --> 00:49:49.820
If you're just joining us, I can put you in a room

640
00:49:49.820 --> 00:49:51.620
or I'm not sure if you came out of one.

641
00:49:53.500 --> 00:49:55.180
Or if you can't go on breakouts, that's fine.

642
00:49:55.220 --> 00:49:56.000
You can hang out here.

643
00:49:56.260 --> 00:49:57.400
You can put that in the chat for me

644
00:49:57.400 --> 00:49:59.760
so that I know if you're not able to unmute.

645
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:26.360
So father, just thank you also for just continuing to, um, as I've asked the ladies to meditate on this week to give us an upgrade in the understanding of your constant care and love for us, God, thank you that you're, um, even right now, intricately weaving deals, details, and moving things around to, um, the word that's coming up in my spirit is coordinate them for these surprises and blessings that are in store.

646
00:50:26.380 --> 00:50:27.660
Lord, I thank you.

647
00:50:27.820 --> 00:50:29.300
Um, Lisa, did you get kicked out?

648
00:50:29.860 --> 00:50:31.540
I see that Wendy's by herself now.

649
00:50:37.400 --> 00:50:41.020
Think some, some people are having some internet issues or something.

650
00:50:41.440 --> 00:50:41.920
Maybe.

651
00:50:44.780 --> 00:50:45.020
Sorry, ladies.

652
00:50:45.200 --> 00:50:48.220
I keep going in and out of prayer, but I'm seeing some people sitting by themselves.

653
00:50:50.100 --> 00:50:50.600
It's okay.

654
00:50:50.620 --> 00:50:51.600
Did you get kicked out?

655
00:50:53.560 --> 00:50:55.300
Lisa having sound trouble?

656
00:50:55.840 --> 00:50:56.640
It's okay.

657
00:50:56.640 --> 00:50:57.560
Yeah, it's okay.

658
00:50:57.580 --> 00:50:58.340
I don't.

659
00:50:58.340 --> 00:50:58.760
Oh, I see.

660
00:50:58.760 --> 00:50:59.500
You have no audio.

661
00:50:59.580 --> 00:50:59.980
It's okay.

662
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:01.340
It says she has no audio.

663
00:51:01.780 --> 00:51:02.960
You can stay here with us.

664
00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:05.620
I moved the lady around, so she's okay.

665
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:06.260
All right.

666
00:51:06.580 --> 00:51:10.080
Father, thank you for just even comforting Lisa man.

667
00:51:10.080 --> 00:51:15.080
Technology sometimes is such a blessing, but it can also be really stressful at times.

668
00:51:15.160 --> 00:51:25.380
And so Laura, just thanks for just relieving any tension and just God, even in this, that you, um, you're caring for Lisa and anybody else really well.

669
00:51:25.380 --> 00:51:28.520
God, we thank you that you're giving us everything that we need.

670
00:51:28.760 --> 00:51:43.380
So Lord, I pray that if there's any area where people have broken promises to Lisa or any of the other ladies that maybe couldn't get into a breakout room or the technology was causing issues, God, that you would just come into those areas and places.

671
00:51:44.240 --> 00:51:56.960
Where the broken promises existed, God, and you would just come and breathe healing, uh, and grace over those areas, God, and that you would just, um, just come with your gentle touch and the power of your spirit.

672
00:51:56.960 --> 00:52:00.440
And, uh, place the balm of Gilead upon those areas.

673
00:52:00.560 --> 00:52:06.260
And we just thank you, God, that you would, um, also just tonight, a message that I heard is just about faith.

674
00:52:06.280 --> 00:52:11.740
God, I pray that you would give us all the gift of faith to believe in your promises for us.

675
00:52:11.740 --> 00:52:23.560
God, that we wouldn't believe the lies of the enemy that caused us to, um, believe the other shoe is going to drop, that we're not going to really be able to rely on you, God, or anybody else.

676
00:52:23.560 --> 00:52:26.500
And Lord, we just, we just come against those lies in Jesus name.

677
00:52:26.500 --> 00:52:36.900
And we take those thoughts captive and we cast those down and we choose rather to believe what the word of God says about us, about our situations, about the things that you have for us.

678
00:52:36.900 --> 00:52:44.720
Lord, we thank you, God, that you are preparing our hearts to, yeah, Lord, make room for the new that you desire to give us.

679
00:52:44.720 --> 00:52:53.040
Just like, um, you know, I always love to go back to that Isaiah 43, 19 verse that talks about, you know, I'm doing something new.

680
00:52:53.100 --> 00:52:54.600
Do you not perceive it?

681
00:52:54.600 --> 00:52:58.280
I am bringing rivers in the wasteland and streams in the desert.

682
00:52:58.580 --> 00:53:04.360
He's bringing life and, and healing and resurrection power to every area of our lives.

683
00:53:04.360 --> 00:53:08.540
And we don't have to fear, um, that we're always going to be stuck.

684
00:53:08.980 --> 00:53:10.800
And if we feel stuck, praise the Lord.

685
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:12.780
It's a, it's a revealing for healing.

686
00:53:12.780 --> 00:53:15.860
It's a signal to an area where we need God's grace.

687
00:53:16.060 --> 00:53:19.100
We need his love to come in and permeate those places.

688
00:53:19.280 --> 00:53:22.040
And that he is always willing and available.

689
00:53:22.260 --> 00:53:27.320
When we turn to him, ladies, when we come to him and we say, daddy, I need you.

690
00:53:27.320 --> 00:53:29.320
Can you help me in this area?

691
00:53:29.540 --> 00:53:36.040
Help me to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing, you know, and you know, the lies that I believe.

692
00:53:36.140 --> 00:53:41.980
And because of this thing that happened, he's like, yes, daughter, I want to help you step into freedom.

693
00:53:41.980 --> 00:53:46.680
And so Lord, we just thank you that the freedom comes as the spirit of truth comes.

694
00:53:46.840 --> 00:53:53.480
So we just ask you, Holy Spirit, just to have your way, uh, tonight in a supernatural way that you would just come in,

695
00:53:53.960 --> 00:53:57.740
bring revelation and truth right to the core of every lie.

696
00:53:57.760 --> 00:54:03.840
And you would just literally abolish the darkness as your light is so evident there.

697
00:54:03.920 --> 00:54:11.340
Lord, I thank you that you would show us all the ways where, um, we have been settling for less than your best,

698
00:54:11.340 --> 00:54:16.420
even in our mindsets and our thought patterns, God, that you're trying to lead us into these.

699
00:54:17.020 --> 00:54:19.840
Um, I'm hearing the Lord say new horizons.

700
00:54:20.200 --> 00:54:26.660
Y'all have you ever just been driving and you just, you come on the crest of a hill and you just see for miles.

701
00:54:26.780 --> 00:54:28.700
And it's so beautiful.

702
00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:31.520
I feel like that's what God's kind of saying tonight.

703
00:54:31.600 --> 00:54:41.320
Like he's leading us into this place where we're coming up on this horizon and there's just all this beauty and awe and wonder in front of us.

704
00:54:41.340 --> 00:54:51.100
Now, some of us may not have eyes to see that because our eyes are still kind of, you know, fleshly and, you know, tangled up with the lies.

705
00:54:51.260 --> 00:54:55.900
And so it, it, again, it causes us to see things differently than what's really there.

706
00:54:55.960 --> 00:54:59.980
But Lord, I pray that you would lift the veil from our eyes and from our hearts.

707
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.260
just like he did Paul. He met Paul on the road to Damascus and transformed him. And then at the end

708
00:55:05.260 --> 00:55:11.100
of those three days, the scales fell off. And so in Jesus name, we're asking for scales to fall off

709
00:55:11.100 --> 00:55:16.880
of eyes and hearts and minds and bodies and spirits and souls tonight, that literally there would be

710
00:55:17.160 --> 00:55:23.140
this massive transformation from the inside out, that we would awaken to something new

711
00:55:23.680 --> 00:55:28.220
that is true in God and that he's doing something really amazing in us. And

712
00:55:28.220 --> 00:55:33.560
ladies, you know, we don't want to despise the day of small beginnings. So some of y'all,

713
00:55:33.740 --> 00:55:37.460
there's some seeds that are getting sewn in tonight that are really good. And they're going

714
00:55:37.460 --> 00:55:43.260
to, they could, they have the potential to grow up and produce a harvest and really cause you to

715
00:55:43.260 --> 00:55:47.820
flourish, but you're going to have to protect the seed. Okay. You're going to have to protect the

716
00:55:47.820 --> 00:55:53.100
seed and fight for that. So some of y'all, that's what it's, you got to fight for the promise,

717
00:55:53.720 --> 00:56:00.280
not war and contend like with God, but, you know, really protect it from the enemy and trust that

718
00:56:00.280 --> 00:56:07.560
you're God defended and God is actually protecting you. Okay. So you're protecting the seed and God's

719
00:56:07.560 --> 00:56:11.780
protecting you and the seed. That makes sense. All right. Awesome. For those of you that have

720
00:56:11.780 --> 00:56:15.860
just been coming back, I've been here kind of getting people situated, praying, talking,

721
00:56:16.260 --> 00:56:19.960
sharing some things, God speaking to me. You can always go back and catch that part in the replay.

722
00:56:19.960 --> 00:56:24.660
We're about an hour in, if you just want to fast forward to that part, because I think it'll be a

723
00:56:24.660 --> 00:56:30.240
blessing to you as well. Welcome back. So glad to have you joining us again from the breakouts. I'm

724
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:35.400
going to talk to you very quickly about your activations this week. There's two, I'm going to

725
00:56:35.400 --> 00:56:39.140
put again, the post up in the group. I hope the posts have been helping you all. I just started

726
00:56:39.140 --> 00:56:42.980
doing that in the last few months. I feel like we're getting a little bit more traction with that.

727
00:56:43.880 --> 00:56:47.640
And hopefully if you have any questions, you can put it in the comments and we can answer your

728
00:56:47.740 --> 00:56:53.760
questions there. But activation number one, never will I ever list. Okay. What this list is,

729
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:58.980
is, is we want to not hear just, okay, I'm never going to date anybody that's an addict.

730
00:56:59.140 --> 00:57:03.900
We hopefully, hopefully you're not going to do that. And what I mean by that is someone who's

731
00:57:03.960 --> 00:57:08.440
actively an addict right now, not someone who's had that struggle in their past, but they're

732
00:57:08.440 --> 00:57:13.060
healed and delivered. But so many times we have people that are saying things that, you know,

733
00:57:13.060 --> 00:57:19.160
are kind of more obvious if you will. So the never will I ever list, a lot of times these form

734
00:57:20.200 --> 00:57:25.520
through your trauma, through things that you've gone through and you made a vow, a commitment

735
00:57:25.520 --> 00:57:32.240
on the inside saying, okay, I'm never going to date a person like this ever again, because of

736
00:57:32.240 --> 00:57:37.680
whatever reason you have, whether you realize it or not, some of you, you've passed up good guys

737
00:57:37.940 --> 00:57:42.320
because of your list. And so as you come into the group and share your list, you're going to make

738
00:57:42.320 --> 00:57:46.040
your list first. I'm going to give you some examples here and yours might have some other

739
00:57:46.220 --> 00:57:51.780
things, but as you make your list, I want you to come into the group and post it. And then our,

740
00:57:51.940 --> 00:57:57.300
our team is going to help you process some of those things because, you know, sometimes I'm

741
00:57:57.300 --> 00:58:02.020
just like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are good. Those are good. And then here's this one where I

742
00:58:02.020 --> 00:58:06.300
can tell it's connected to some, something that needs healed. So those are the ones that we're

743
00:58:06.300 --> 00:58:11.280
going to come in and we're going to coach you on, and God will use those mightily in your life as

744
00:58:11.280 --> 00:58:16.600
well. So here are some examples of what we hear. Never will I ever date a man who has been

745
00:58:16.740 --> 00:58:26.200
divorced. Never will I ever date a man who has kids. Never will I ever date a man who has any

746
00:58:26.200 --> 00:58:32.180
kind of financial struggle. Y'all, yes, we want you to be with someone who's financially responsible,

747
00:58:32.280 --> 00:58:39.200
but here's the reality. Myself included, when I came through my divorce, I had debt that I was

748
00:58:39.220 --> 00:58:44.860
paying off. Man, I would have hated for Brian to pass me over because of that. I'm a responsible

749
00:58:45.300 --> 00:58:51.060
person, but there was a whole lot of crap that I went through in my divorce. And then, you know,

750
00:58:51.060 --> 00:58:58.600
other things after that. So I'm just putting that out there for y'all to think about. Maybe some of

751
00:58:58.600 --> 00:59:04.420
you are saying never will I ever date someone I'm not attracted to because you all have these

752
00:59:04.500 --> 00:59:09.820
standards, and sometimes it's the standards that are actually getting you into unhealthy

753
00:59:09.740 --> 00:59:15.780
relationships. And here's the thing, ladies. God isn't going to force you into a relationship that

754
00:59:15.780 --> 00:59:20.860
you are literally going to be tortured by. So let's just get rid of that lie, okay?

755
00:59:21.560 --> 00:59:28.160
But here's the truth. I would not have originally picked Brian, my husband.

756
00:59:30.420 --> 00:59:32.960
I actually passed him by the first time.

757
00:59:35.280 --> 00:59:39.940
And then he kept popping up in my feed. And I sent him to my best friend, and I'm like,

758
00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:46.120
what do you think about this guy? He's kind of handsome. That's what I said. His dog's really

759
00:59:46.240 --> 00:59:58.140
cute. Y'all, no joke. No joke. And then I read his profile, and I liked what his profile said. So I

760
00:59:58.140 --> 00:59:59.720
am one of the dating apps, Crystal.

761
01:00:00.740 --> 01:00:06.380
And y'all, everybody meets people on different dating apps. So just know that God will lead you

762
01:00:06.380 --> 01:00:13.880
to your person where you need to meet them. But so we matched, right? And the first time he came,

763
01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:17.420
he was dressed nice, but he wasn't like dressed super trendy. And I was kind of like,

764
01:00:18.200 --> 01:00:24.600
I don't know if I'm attracted to him. But we had an amazing time. On our first date,

765
01:00:24.660 --> 01:00:29.140
the conversation was really amazing. We did one of those kind of side hugs,

766
01:00:29.140 --> 01:00:34.720
because I was all nervous. And it was awkward. And he asked me on another date before we even

767
01:00:34.720 --> 01:00:40.680
left. And I said, yes. And you all, the second date, if I'm being fully honest, I'm being fully

768
01:00:40.680 --> 01:00:44.400
transparent right now, because it's going to help some of y'all. On the second date,

769
01:00:44.580 --> 01:00:50.820
he was just being very not in a creepy way. But he kind of put his hand on my back a little bit.

770
01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:56.340
And I was like, I don't know if I want people to think we're together here. That's what I was

771
01:00:56.530 --> 01:01:02.230
thinking in my head, you all. I don't know if I told him that one. So nobody tell him that one.

772
01:01:02.710 --> 01:01:09.030
But I might have told him. But I just, I didn't know how I felt about him. And I didn't know if

773
01:01:09.030 --> 01:01:15.010
I was attracted. And is this normal what I'm feeling? And I sat down to dinner that night

774
01:01:15.010 --> 01:01:19.350
with him. And the more that we talked, I thought, and I'm sitting across the table from him. I'm

775
01:01:19.350 --> 01:01:25.850
like, man, he, he is kind of handsome. Like, he's got some nice thing to say here. And my heart

776
01:01:25.850 --> 01:01:30.770
started opening a little bit more. And the more time I spent with him, the more attractive he

777
01:01:30.770 --> 01:01:36.650
became to me. Y'all, it's really a real thing. Okay. All right. So I'm not going to go into that

778
01:01:36.650 --> 01:01:41.370
further. Y'all get a lot. Go ahead, Annette. I was, I was going to say with the never will I ever

779
01:01:41.370 --> 01:01:47.090
list that really resonates with me. And I was just going to share. I literally said never,

780
01:01:47.350 --> 01:01:55.330
ever will I marry a firefighter. I come from a family of firefighters. And that was not for me.

781
01:01:57.110 --> 01:02:05.590
And when Arthur said he was a firefighter, I was like, I'm out. I'm out. And we were having

782
01:02:05.710 --> 01:02:10.770
a conversation on the phone. And as soon as he started talking about it, I was like, okay,

783
01:02:10.770 --> 01:02:25.830
Holy Spirit, I need you because I'm ready to hang up the phone. I don't want to talk to him. He's a

784
01:02:26.630 --> 01:02:33.130
conversation. And I was thankful that God, that Holy spirit led me to stay on the phone because

785
01:02:33.130 --> 01:02:38.050
one of the things he said towards the end of the conversation is firefighting is what I do. It's

786
01:02:38.050 --> 01:02:45.130
not who I am. And that made a big difference for me. So sorry, I wasn't trying to interrupt,

787
01:02:45.450 --> 01:02:52.730
but that list is real. The list is real. It is. It's so real y'all. And, and here Nadine,

788
01:02:52.730 --> 01:02:56.430
she was saying, cause she was raised in a home, home and family with firefighters.

789
01:02:56.430 --> 01:03:00.630
And so you just never know. There's probably a lot of things there, but I'm going to keep going.

790
01:03:00.810 --> 01:03:06.410
So some of us say I'm never going to marry someone that's a pastor or someone in full-time ministry

791
01:03:06.410 --> 01:03:12.350
or like in a nuts, maybe their military police officer, firefighter, name the job.

792
01:03:13.330 --> 01:03:22.710
Maybe you're saying I'm never going to marry or date someone with the name, John, Paul, Mark. I

793
01:03:23.390 --> 01:03:27.610
told this story this afternoon. I'm going to try to keep it very brief so we can keep moving. But

794
01:03:28.270 --> 01:03:36.790
my main abuser, my oldest brother, his name is Brian. So y'all better believe

795
01:03:37.330 --> 01:03:44.230
when God sent me Brian, I definitely asked the Lord, did he really have to have the name Brian?

796
01:03:44.730 --> 01:03:52.690
What's that all about? That's what I literally, like, I literally had this conversation with the

797
01:03:53.270 --> 01:04:00.130
Lord. And he said, I want to redeem the name Brian for you. This is real stuff. You all,

798
01:04:01.370 --> 01:04:06.610
God doesn't want us to be afraid of people because of their name, because of the hurts

799
01:04:06.610 --> 01:04:11.830
that someone else has inflicted upon us. I'm not saying that's going to be your story,

800
01:04:12.170 --> 01:04:15.910
that God's going to send you someone with the same name as someone who hurt you.

801
01:04:15.910 --> 01:04:20.990
But I just want you to know that all God wants is for us to be willing to surrender

802
01:04:20.990 --> 01:04:29.590
the pen fully. Never will I ever date someone with a certain age because my ex was this age or

803
01:04:29.690 --> 01:04:34.710
a certain ethnicity, you know, whatever it is, ladies, let's get it on the list. Let's figure

804
01:04:34.710 --> 01:04:40.290
out, and our team can help you unpack it. So that's activation number one. Activation number

805
01:04:40.290 --> 01:04:49.230
two is dream again. I want to encourage you to start to partner with the truth. I am a bride.

806
01:04:49.230 --> 01:04:53.130
I want you to, you don't have to unmute, but just right where you're at.

807
01:04:53.490 --> 01:04:58.410
I want you to say it with me. I, then say your name.

808
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.340
I'm a bride. I am a bride. I want you to practice saying that around your house

809
01:05:05.340 --> 01:05:09.400
during the day and all the things. And here's the thing, I want you to

810
01:05:09.400 --> 01:05:13.760
say your full name. So I used to walk around my house, I, Bethany Stanko, am a

811
01:05:13.760 --> 01:05:18.820
bride. And it wasn't just something I was saying, you all, with my mouth. I believed

812
01:05:18.820 --> 01:05:23.600
it in my heart because God was talking to me about having faith and really

813
01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:27.840
asking God to help me believe. Now, not only that, here's what I want you to do

814
01:05:27.840 --> 01:05:33.300
with it. In addition to saying it, I want you to activate it even more. I want you

815
01:05:33.380 --> 01:05:41.700
to pray and ask the Lord what you should go buy that is bride gear. Something. It

816
01:05:41.700 --> 01:05:46.520
could be something small. It could be something bigger. You need to pray and

817
01:05:46.520 --> 01:05:52.780
ask God what you are supposed to buy. Maybe yours is a bride mug or a cup or

818
01:05:52.780 --> 01:05:56.500
something. It could be, you know, it doesn't have to be your actual wedding

819
01:05:56.500 --> 01:06:00.200
veil, but it could be like, you know, one of those veils that people get for like

820
01:06:00.200 --> 01:06:04.680
their bachelorette or something. And just on occasion, you put it on and you pray

821
01:06:04.680 --> 01:06:09.300
over yourself and thank God that he has, he's made you a bride and that he's

822
01:06:09.300 --> 01:06:13.480
leading you to your spirit mate. Maybe it's gonna be the shoes that you might

823
01:06:13.480 --> 01:06:18.180
wear on your wedding day or a bride shirt. You know, you guys get what I'm

824
01:06:18.180 --> 01:06:22.040
saying. And then I want you to take a picture of yourself with your bride gear

825
01:06:22.600 --> 01:06:27.520
and I want you to put it in the group. Who's willing to take me up on this

826
01:06:27.520 --> 01:06:30.980
offer? I can't wait to see it. I'm telling you what, when I went through the

827
01:06:30.980 --> 01:06:36.420
boot camp, um, that's what we used to call it, heartwork boot camp. Um, when we

828
01:06:36.420 --> 01:06:40.920
started doing this in the group, you all, it just, it literally, it was like this

829
01:06:41.780 --> 01:06:48.160
huge, like dose of faith and hope, just seeing everybody partnering with their

830
01:06:48.160 --> 01:06:52.460
belief. So we talked about broken promises today and we're going to coach

831
01:06:52.460 --> 01:06:58.720
on it. And then I want you to partner with the promise. Yes, Lord. I just felt

832
01:06:59.260 --> 01:07:06.160
that I want you to partner with the promise that you are a bride. Y'all, we

833
01:07:06.160 --> 01:07:12.280
got to believe it in our soul before we can receive it in the physical eyes to

834
01:07:12.280 --> 01:07:19.640
what the father sees ears to hear what he is saying to you and then partner

835
01:07:19.640 --> 01:07:23.980
with it and activate it and let us see it. All right. I'm so excited. I can't

836
01:07:23.980 --> 01:07:27.320
wait to see what God's going to do through these two activations. You're

837
01:07:27.320 --> 01:07:31.300
going to get set free and, and ways that you can even ask or imagine through

838
01:07:31.300 --> 01:07:35.000
these things. Okay. So who's willing to share with the whole group, what you

839
01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:40.160
shared in your breakout about when was the time someone broke a promise they

840
01:07:40.160 --> 01:07:44.380
made to you? How's that affecting you? Crystal, go ahead. Hi.

841
01:07:44.600 --> 01:07:53.040
Hi. Yes. Mine was recently about six months ago. I was dating a guy and back

842
01:07:53.080 --> 01:08:02.900
in 2019, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. And so when I was dating him,

843
01:08:03.140 --> 01:08:08.520
they said the lymph nodes had increased. And so they wanted to do a biopsy and

844
01:08:08.520 --> 01:08:15.300
thought it was back. So I was like, I can't date this guy. Um, so I told him

845
01:08:15.680 --> 01:08:23.439
and he was like, I want to be there for you. Um, and he was so supportive and it

846
01:08:23.439 --> 01:08:27.560
was everything I wanted to hear from my ex-husband cause my ex-husband could not

847
01:08:27.560 --> 01:08:35.939
be there for me. Um, anyway, it, and then even after we had a point where we, um,

848
01:08:35.939 --> 01:08:41.620
broke up, he said, no matter what happens to us, I still want to be there for you.

849
01:08:42.319 --> 01:08:47.240
And of course he wasn't. And so it was just, and I've, it's so weird because

850
01:08:47.240 --> 01:08:54.620
with this relationship, I've had such a hard time shaking it. Um, and I've done

851
01:08:54.620 --> 01:09:02.220
the soul ties. I've done the forgiveness sheets, you know, blessed him. I've done

852
01:09:02.220 --> 01:09:08.500
everything I know to do to say, Lord, why can't I wash my brain of this

853
01:09:09.140 --> 01:09:14.399
relationship? And I feel like it has to do with something tied to that whole,

854
01:09:14.760 --> 01:09:21.120
cause there was so much trauma in my former marriage. And then, you know, once

855
01:09:21.120 --> 01:09:26.560
I got diagnosed, that was kind of the wake up call. And then, um, I tried to go

856
01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:32.460
back cause I just, I didn't believe in divorce. And, um, he actually ended up,

857
01:09:32.740 --> 01:09:39.060
he said he had a PTSD moment hit me and I said, no, this, I can't stay. And that

858
01:09:39.060 --> 01:09:43.439
was, you know, there was a lot of bad things. And even I put in the chat thing

859
01:09:43.439 --> 01:09:48.020
that I'm having a hard time even thinking of, I would never date. And so it makes

860
01:09:48.020 --> 01:09:54.100
me think too, um, there might be a problem there. Like I should have an, I

861
01:09:54.100 --> 01:09:59.980
would never date blank. Um, I mean, it, it might just, so some of the

862
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.920
stuff to ladies gets really pushed down in us. Okay. So, um,

863
01:10:05.920 --> 01:10:08.420
I would say just a little bit that I've gotten to know you.

864
01:10:09.280 --> 01:10:14.480
And it could be as well because in Christian circles, we're

865
01:10:14.480 --> 01:10:17.380
really kind of taught we're not even allowed to think anything

866
01:10:17.380 --> 01:10:23.740
negative. Okay. Yeah. So there might be some religious stuff in

867
01:10:23.740 --> 01:10:26.700
there that's causing you to actually not even be able to be

868
01:10:26.700 --> 01:10:31.140
honest with yourself sometimes, or to feel like if you have a

869
01:10:31.140 --> 01:10:34.180
thought like that, you just got to get rid of it. Because, you

870
01:10:34.180 --> 01:10:38.900
know, we just can't even have those things. Which isn't true,

871
01:10:39.060 --> 01:10:41.280
okay, because the reality is, is we have those things, we

872
01:10:41.280 --> 01:10:43.380
actually need to acknowledge them. And that's what helps us

873
01:10:43.380 --> 01:10:48.240
heal from it. But, um, that might be something to consider

874
01:10:48.240 --> 01:10:48.960
their crystal.

875
01:10:50.020 --> 01:10:53.460
Well, I'm in week three. And it's so funny. It said at the

876
01:10:53.460 --> 01:10:55.240
beginning, if you're not experiencing anything, maybe

877
01:10:55.240 --> 01:10:58.280
you should go back. So I thought I'm gonna go back. Well, two

878
01:10:58.280 --> 01:11:02.220
days later, I I've just been a crying mess. Yeah. And I'm like,

879
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:07.000
and even just trying to sometimes connect the puzzle

880
01:11:08.040 --> 01:11:13.840
pieces of and I and I'm in a job where I work with a lot of

881
01:11:15.160 --> 01:11:17.300
grief. So it kind of

882
01:11:18.420 --> 01:11:22.380
well, that makes so much sense to what you're saying. Okay, so

883
01:11:22.380 --> 01:11:25.040
you're in this job where you're working with a lot of grief. So

884
01:11:25.040 --> 01:11:28.300
most people even myself as a heartwork coach, I have to

885
01:11:28.300 --> 01:11:32.360
really guard my heart because if I don't, and this isn't an

886
01:11:32.360 --> 01:11:35.980
unhealthy thing, but just in a healthy way, I could take on

887
01:11:35.980 --> 01:11:38.720
because I'm also very empathetic. Okay, so I'm a big

888
01:11:38.720 --> 01:11:42.540
feeler, I feel things from people, like I could walk into a

889
01:11:42.540 --> 01:11:46.520
room and feel stuff. And so in Harvard coaching, one of the

890
01:11:46.520 --> 01:11:49.940
ways I kind of make sure I don't take people's trauma on to

891
01:11:49.940 --> 01:11:55.600
myself, is to, um, you know, just keep a safe boundary, like

892
01:11:55.600 --> 01:11:59.500
reminding myself, okay, this is where their story ends, and I

893
01:11:59.500 --> 01:12:04.180
begin, right. But when you're it's like, probably two to a

894
01:12:04.180 --> 01:12:08.160
level, if I was in person with you all, and I would feel it

895
01:12:08.160 --> 01:12:12.380
even more, there's another whole level there. So I would say that

896
01:12:12.380 --> 01:12:15.280
there's probably some protective mechanisms that you've put in

897
01:12:15.400 --> 01:12:19.020
place to really kind of help yourself because you're dealing

898
01:12:19.020 --> 01:12:24.180
with grief so often. And so it's not surprising to me that, you

899
01:12:24.180 --> 01:12:27.620
know, in week three, you went to go back, and now you're starting

900
01:12:27.620 --> 01:12:31.600
to feel some of those emotions and things kind of coming up.

901
01:12:31.600 --> 01:12:35.740
And so that's a good sign. That's a good sign. And so just

902
01:12:35.800 --> 01:12:40.000
pray, if you don't come up with your list right now, there's no

903
01:12:40.140 --> 01:12:43.240
pressure for everybody just y'all know, I don't want y'all

904
01:12:43.420 --> 01:12:46.160
avoiding the assignment. But if you're in a situation like

905
01:12:46.160 --> 01:12:49.360
crystal, where maybe those thoughts aren't fully even

906
01:12:49.360 --> 01:12:53.820
coming to you yet, I want you to know there's grace, okay, trust

907
01:12:53.820 --> 01:12:58.860
in God's timing of him revealing things to you. Okay, now on this

908
01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:05.480
situation, I almost think that it's just that it's entangled

909
01:13:05.480 --> 01:13:07.820
with some other things. I actually think that you're

910
01:13:07.820 --> 01:13:11.980
probably over this guy. But because he came in the midst of

911
01:13:11.980 --> 01:13:17.980
kind of that scare coming back up, that I feel like it's just

912
01:13:17.980 --> 01:13:21.280
entangled a little bit with the other things. But the enemy is

913
01:13:21.280 --> 01:13:24.020
trying to convince you that you're you're not over this guy

914
01:13:24.020 --> 01:13:27.460
or that you're not past that. But I actually think that you

915
01:13:27.460 --> 01:13:30.720
are more past it than you realize. But because of the

916
01:13:30.720 --> 01:13:33.400
other stuff that you need to process, it's just kind of

917
01:13:33.400 --> 01:13:38.460
hanging out there. That makes sense. Okay, yeah, yeah. And so

918
01:13:38.460 --> 01:13:43.360
maybe, honestly, processing some of the grief that you've been

919
01:13:43.360 --> 01:13:46.540
having to deal with, because of your job might be a great start.

920
01:13:47.580 --> 01:13:51.860
Yeah, I work in hospice. Yeah. So there's just a lot.

921
01:13:53.100 --> 01:13:57.300
Yeah, yeah. And I'm sure that is a weight that you're carrying

922
01:13:57.300 --> 01:14:00.760
far beyond what you I mean, I'm sure you know, you know, just

923
01:14:00.760 --> 01:14:03.660
from talking to you, I'm sure you have the knowledge that that

924
01:14:03.660 --> 01:14:11.500
is something that, you know, is there. But I'm sometimes we

925
01:14:11.500 --> 01:14:15.860
again, put those kind of protector things up. And so I

926
01:14:15.860 --> 01:14:19.980
would just encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal if there's

927
01:14:19.980 --> 01:14:24.100
any, you know, grief that you've been kind of carrying

928
01:14:25.820 --> 01:14:29.160
subconsciously that came through your job that you need healing

929
01:14:29.040 --> 01:14:32.900
from. Okay, and let's just see what else might come up with

930
01:14:32.900 --> 01:14:37.020
that, as well as when you were diagnosed with the cancer before

931
01:14:37.020 --> 01:14:40.620
because sometimes even though you've processed that, sometimes

932
01:14:40.620 --> 01:14:44.080
stuff can kind of get sucked down into our subconscious

933
01:14:44.100 --> 01:14:46.660
without us realizing because we're going through a very

934
01:14:46.660 --> 01:14:50.280
traumatic time and we go into fight or flight. And so that

935
01:14:50.280 --> 01:14:53.340
stuff kind of gets pushed down. And so those two things I would

936
01:14:53.340 --> 01:14:55.940
I would start there and then let's see what else kind of

937
01:14:55.940 --> 01:14:59.600
percolates to the surface. Okay, thank you. You're welcome.

938
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.660
Thank you. Nari, go ahead.

939
01:15:04.580 --> 01:15:11.560
Hi. Hi. So I just want to start off by saying that I've been

940
01:15:11.560 --> 01:15:16.300
away for a few weeks. And I wasn't going to log on today

941
01:15:16.300 --> 01:15:19.580
because I've just had a lot going on. I just got back into

942
01:15:19.580 --> 01:15:23.240
the country. I'm on week three, I kind of walked away from the

943
01:15:23.240 --> 01:15:25.560
course a little bit, I found myself getting a little bit

944
01:15:25.680 --> 01:15:30.600
overwhelmed. And, and it's interesting, because as soon as

945
01:15:30.600 --> 01:15:33.360
I logged on tonight, everything that you were saying was really

946
01:15:33.360 --> 01:15:39.400
speaking to me. I still really struggle with believing that

947
01:15:39.400 --> 01:15:42.600
like God is on my side and is a good father. Like that's

948
01:15:42.600 --> 01:15:44.980
something I just really struggle with. And I've been doing the

949
01:15:44.980 --> 01:15:49.000
heartwork, but it's just, it's still there. So it's something

950
01:15:49.580 --> 01:15:53.060
that I'm having trouble working through just really fully like

951
01:15:53.060 --> 01:15:55.840
feeling like I can fully surrender and trust in the Lord

952
01:15:55.840 --> 01:15:59.560
and really feel like I have a relationship with him and one

953
01:15:59.620 --> 01:16:03.920
and believe that he wants the best for me. So I find that I

954
01:16:03.920 --> 01:16:07.580
still try to take a lot of control in my life. With respect

955
01:16:08.260 --> 01:16:14.180
to the the question for today. I'm someone that I've done a lot

956
01:16:14.180 --> 01:16:18.040
of inner work, and I feel like I know my boundaries. But the

957
01:16:18.040 --> 01:16:20.740
minute that I enter into a relationship where I have

958
01:16:21.380 --> 01:16:26.100
someone that I'm interested in, I find myself easily kind of

959
01:16:27.000 --> 01:16:30.460
letting go of those boundaries or like self abandoning because

960
01:16:30.460 --> 01:16:34.600
I really like the person. And that's something I really

961
01:16:34.600 --> 01:16:39.540
struggle with. And so the broken promises me breaking the

962
01:16:39.440 --> 01:16:46.240
promise. I'm always doing that. So I'm here now and I told

963
01:16:46.240 --> 01:16:49.920
myself I would come back today and I'd really fully engage in

964
01:16:49.920 --> 01:16:53.700
this because I'm I'm kind of half one foot in one foot out.

965
01:16:54.040 --> 01:16:55.480
So that's where I'm at.

966
01:16:56.400 --> 01:17:00.160
You're doing great. And I just want to say welcome back. Thank

967
01:17:00.160 --> 01:17:02.860
you. I want you to know that you're not alone. And there are

968
01:17:02.860 --> 01:17:07.600
people that have felt the way you felt and they came back to

969
01:17:07.660 --> 01:17:11.300
and they finished and I believe that you will finish as well.

970
01:17:12.080 --> 01:17:17.100
Um, the first thing that I wanted to say is, um, when you

971
01:17:17.100 --> 01:17:20.360
said easily let go of boundaries and break promises

972
01:17:20.360 --> 01:17:22.820
to yourself. Um, when you're talking about that, I was

973
01:17:22.820 --> 01:17:27.200
thinking about a chameleon and how a chameleon will like change

974
01:17:27.200 --> 01:17:30.500
and morph to be in the environment that it's in

975
01:17:30.500 --> 01:17:33.600
because they're trying to kind of exist there survive there if

976
01:17:33.600 --> 01:17:38.960
you will live there. And so I want you to be praying and

977
01:17:38.960 --> 01:17:44.740
asking the Lord to reveal to you the first time that you went

978
01:17:44.740 --> 01:17:50.480
against your values to morph to make someone happy.

979
01:17:51.940 --> 01:17:56.660
Okay, the answer to that. Okay, go ahead. It's definitely from

980
01:17:56.940 --> 01:18:00.260
like when I was a little kid because I grew up in a very

981
01:18:00.260 --> 01:18:04.560
chaotic, unstable home. So I found that I really had to self

982
01:18:04.700 --> 01:18:08.960
abandon and sacrifice and people please because I was trying to

983
01:18:08.960 --> 01:18:12.900
keep the peace in the family. And if I wasn't doing the things

984
01:18:12.900 --> 01:18:18.400
that made my parents happy, then it would be chaotic. So

985
01:18:18.400 --> 01:18:23.000
that's something it's almost like a trauma survival mechanism

986
01:18:23.000 --> 01:18:26.600
that I've developed. And I do and I do struggle with that.

987
01:18:26.600 --> 01:18:29.100
Like, like when you say chameleon, I'm definitely a

988
01:18:29.100 --> 01:18:32.200
people pleaser. All right. And I've worked on that. But it's

989
01:18:32.200 --> 01:18:34.780
still something that comes up a lot for me. Yeah.

990
01:18:35.740 --> 01:18:40.960
So I want to kind of work on the opposite to counteract that

991
01:18:40.960 --> 01:18:43.660
because sometimes what can happen, it's really amazing when

992
01:18:43.660 --> 01:18:48.160
we do healing work. And we focus on these areas where, okay, we

993
01:18:48.160 --> 01:18:52.060
we know that we do this, and we want to stop doing it. And this

994
01:18:52.060 --> 01:18:56.180
is a trauma response that we have. And sometimes the tricky

995
01:18:56.180 --> 01:18:59.160
thing is that people have a hard time coming out of that because

996
01:18:59.160 --> 01:19:01.940
they still haven't fully identified the truth, not only

997
01:19:01.940 --> 01:19:04.780
the truth to replace the lion scripture, but the truth within

998
01:19:04.840 --> 01:19:08.760
themselves. Okay, and so I think it's gonna be really important

999
01:19:08.760 --> 01:19:13.140
for you. How old were you when this like the first time? Do you

1000
01:19:13.140 --> 01:19:13.500
think?

1001
01:19:15.320 --> 01:19:18.120
I'm probably I want to say like six or seven.

1002
01:19:19.420 --> 01:19:24.440
Okay. So this might feel a little funny at first. But I

1003
01:19:24.440 --> 01:19:28.880
want you not I want you to do it for your age now too. But I want

1004
01:19:28.880 --> 01:19:32.440
you to do it first as a six the six year old version of

1005
01:19:32.600 --> 01:19:40.080
yourself. Okay. I want you to, um, I like to give you guys

1006
01:19:40.080 --> 01:19:42.020
assignments with eight and a half by 11, because it feels

1007
01:19:42.020 --> 01:19:44.760
more doable. If I say a board, then some people get

1008
01:19:44.760 --> 01:19:46.800
overwhelmed. So let's just start with an eight and a half by 11

1009
01:19:46.800 --> 01:19:54.360
sheet of paper. I want you to think of the opposite of

1010
01:19:54.360 --> 01:19:59.980
everything that you gave up. Okay, so if you morphed to

1011
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.560
self-abandon and self-sacrifice, I want you to write down what was there before you gave that up.

1012
01:20:07.220 --> 01:20:13.020
Okay, so who was the six-year-old version of yourself that went into hiding and became that

1013
01:20:12.820 --> 01:20:17.860
chameleon? Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm just writing down what you're saying.

1014
01:20:17.880 --> 01:20:20.460
So yeah, I just want to make sure because I don't want it to be confusing for you.

1015
01:20:21.220 --> 01:20:28.760
You know, who were you and what were the things that got kind of pushed down with that,

1016
01:20:28.760 --> 01:20:35.320
that self-abandon, that self-sacrifice? Was there fun parts of yourself that you didn't feel like

1017
01:20:35.320 --> 01:20:41.980
you could be anymore? I kind of hear the word flittering too, like I don't know if you had a

1018
01:20:41.980 --> 01:20:48.420
really joyful spirit as a little girl, kind of flittering around, you know, excited and happy,

1019
01:20:49.240 --> 01:20:57.100
like free, like I just feel like thinking about even as a little girl aspects of yourself that

1020
01:20:57.100 --> 01:21:04.220
were not there anymore as soon as you started kind of morphing to self-sacrifice and self-abandon,

1021
01:21:04.720 --> 01:21:14.380
because I want to help you connect your current age with her, okay, before all that stuff came in.

1022
01:21:14.380 --> 01:21:19.440
But so often when we don't remember or we don't identify that, and if you have a hard time,

1023
01:21:20.140 --> 01:21:26.020
ask the Lord. Ask the Lord to give you a vision of who you were as a little girl before you started

1024
01:21:26.020 --> 01:21:33.640
becoming that chameleon, that people pleaser, and denying your own needs or wants or whatever

1025
01:21:33.640 --> 01:21:40.640
that looked like for you, and He'll show you. He'll show you a picture of yourself, and sometimes it

1026
01:21:40.640 --> 01:21:45.300
might not even look like you. I had a vision God gave me this one time when He was walking me

1027
01:21:45.300 --> 01:21:50.180
through some healing. It wasn't exactly the same as this, but it was similar, and I saw a vision of a

1028
01:21:50.360 --> 01:21:58.020
little girl with blonde hair, and she was skipping, and I knew God was showing me myself even though

1029
01:21:58.020 --> 01:22:04.640
I didn't look like me, and He was showing me that that was who He was going to help me become,

1030
01:22:05.380 --> 01:22:10.380
and over the years, God kept giving me. He kept building on that and showing me more things of

1031
01:22:10.380 --> 01:22:16.180
that vision, but that meant so much to me, and so I feel like it's going to be a really big

1032
01:22:16.180 --> 01:22:22.420
game-changer for you because you've just said it. You've been doing heart work for a long time.

1033
01:22:22.560 --> 01:22:27.860
You've been doing this healing, and that's really amazing, but I want to kind of fight against the

1034
01:22:27.860 --> 01:22:35.240
fatigue and the overwhelm because I want you just to kind of lean into who were you that got

1035
01:22:35.800 --> 01:22:43.500
kind of smushed down during that so that you can partner with her again. Does that make sense?

1036
01:22:43.500 --> 01:22:49.200
Yeah, it does. Then as you kind of discover that as that six-year-old version of yourself,

1037
01:22:49.740 --> 01:22:57.340
then you can start to, okay, do I live into this now? Do I allow myself to be

1038
01:22:58.540 --> 01:23:05.980
creative and fun and vibrant, or do I typically tell myself I just have to follow the rules and

1039
01:23:05.980 --> 01:23:10.400
I can't have fun? I'm too busy. I'm too, you know, whatever it is so that you kind of

1040
01:23:10.400 --> 01:23:15.400
start to measure, and even though, you know, we're talking about other things here, breaking promises

1041
01:23:15.400 --> 01:23:20.560
to yourself, part of the reason we break promises to ourselves, ladies, is because we don't know our

1042
01:23:23.440 --> 01:23:29.340
identity. We kind of know it but not really, and so when we don't know our identity, we don't tend

1043
01:23:29.340 --> 01:23:36.400
to stick to our values. Does that make sense? Because deep down, we actually don't think we're

1044
01:23:36.660 --> 01:23:42.280
worth it. I was just going to say that, like a lot of what you're saying, I think why I do that

1045
01:23:42.280 --> 01:23:49.000
is because of the lack of worth that I have in myself. Yeah, so many men as well, okay, this is

1046
01:23:49.000 --> 01:23:56.560
not just a female thing, but women especially, we really like take a hit when we go through trauma

1047
01:23:57.100 --> 01:24:01.780
regarding our self-worth and our value, especially when there's lies that we're hearing and then we

1048
01:24:01.780 --> 01:24:06.180
start telling them to ourselves and we look in the mirror and we don't like what we see or whatever

1049
01:24:06.180 --> 01:24:13.820
that is for us, but that really goes back to the core, like our identity when we were younger,

1050
01:24:14.180 --> 01:24:20.620
that got, like, it took a hit, you know, and so healing that little girl version of yourself and

1051
01:24:20.620 --> 01:24:26.860
really allowing her to come back out to play is going to be a really good kind of reunion moment,

1052
01:24:26.860 --> 01:24:33.140
if you will, where you can start to kind of redefine, like, okay, what is my identity? Like,

1053
01:24:33.140 --> 01:24:38.960
who did God create me to be? And so be asking God some of those questions, like, you know,

1054
01:24:39.660 --> 01:24:44.740
Lord, what is it, you know, in me? Like, what have you put in me that I don't recognize?

1055
01:24:45.340 --> 01:24:50.560
Help me to know myself through your eyes, not through the world's eyes, where you start to

1056
01:24:50.600 --> 01:24:55.820
really hone in on that core identity of who you are. And some of the sessions coming up,

1057
01:24:55.820 --> 01:24:59.500
I'll just give you kind of a teaser. In a few weeks, we're going to be talking about

1058
01:25:00.560 --> 01:25:07.680
the real you and helping all of you identify who you really are. Like, not the counterfeit

1059
01:25:07.680 --> 01:25:13.060
versions of yourselves, but who did God originally create you to be. And so it's going to be really

1060
01:25:13.060 --> 01:25:19.740
good. But I think that's the best place to start, Nari. And then I would love for you to come in

1061
01:25:19.740 --> 01:25:25.180
the group and share in that process. If it's hard, come and talk to us about it, okay? It's going to

1062
01:25:25.180 --> 01:25:30.660
be really important for you. It sounds like when you start to feel overwhelmed, the enemy tries to

1063
01:25:30.660 --> 01:25:35.360
get you to isolate and pull back. And so I don't know if you heard me when I started, I think it

1064
01:25:35.360 --> 01:25:41.140
was tonight's session, I was talking about this. I want to encourage you to lean in and really

1065
01:25:42.600 --> 01:25:48.920
fight the urge to isolate, okay? Because I feel like the community is going to be a big part of

1066
01:25:48.920 --> 01:25:53.420
your healing process too, and really letting yourself be vulnerable and seen. So you did a

1067
01:25:53.580 --> 01:25:59.580
great job tonight by sharing out loud. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm glad I came. I am glad you're here too.

1068
01:26:00.840 --> 01:26:07.640
Ladies, it's really important, you know, just to even think for a moment, everybody that's here

1069
01:26:08.980 --> 01:26:15.440
tonight may not ever be here again at the same time like this. And God brought you all here

1070
01:26:15.440 --> 01:26:20.880
divinely tonight for a purpose. So whether you know everybody on this screen or not, or even

1071
01:26:20.880 --> 01:26:25.600
the people that are going to watch the replay, God has brought you all here divinely. And it's

1072
01:26:25.600 --> 01:26:32.960
really, really powerful. And so thank you everyone for being here tonight. All right, let's see here.

1073
01:26:33.300 --> 01:26:45.200
Let's see, Jennifer Godowski. Hi. So one of the things that I shared was that I've known

1074
01:26:45.200 --> 01:26:53.680
about for a while, and I've already begun working through it, is all the men in my life, both from

1075
01:26:54.820 --> 01:26:59.620
pastoral to my own father, and the men in my family have all abandoned me at one point or

1076
01:26:59.620 --> 01:27:06.500
another, and they're not involved in my life. So I've never had anything, a healthy, consistent

1077
01:27:06.500 --> 01:27:12.460
male presence. So I don't know what that looks like. So for the person who will be my husband

1078
01:27:12.460 --> 01:27:18.720
one day, he'll actually be the first. And one of the things I started doing to work on it is

1079
01:27:19.320 --> 01:27:24.160
if any one of the guys I work with at my job, if they ask me, hey, can I help you with that? I let

1080
01:27:23.940 --> 01:27:34.480
them, which has been a big help. Yeah, I love that. So I wanted to celebrate that. I think

1081
01:27:34.480 --> 01:27:39.220
that's really awesome and amazing that you're practicing letting men help you and that you're

1082
01:27:39.220 --> 01:27:46.300
seeing the blessing in that. I think the first thing as well, have you already done forgiveness

1083
01:27:46.300 --> 01:27:51.100
prayer sheets for the pastor and your dad? Because those were the first two people you mentioned.

1084
01:27:52.020 --> 01:27:59.300
Not yet. I'm finishing up the reading and doing video one. And I want to post those in

1085
01:27:59.380 --> 01:28:02.620
the community page, and then I'm going to do that after that.

1086
01:28:03.160 --> 01:28:08.780
Okay. And just so you know, it's okay for you to kind of finish that process of those videos. But

1087
01:28:10.160 --> 01:28:15.760
as you're processing the forgiveness there on the pastoral and the dad,

1088
01:28:18.300 --> 01:28:22.700
I'm just kind of sensing that the pastor, for some reason, almost feels a little more weighty

1089
01:28:22.700 --> 01:28:29.300
in my spirit. So I don't know if it's because, you know, pastors tend to reflect typically.

1090
01:28:29.720 --> 01:28:31.580
Oh, it is. It is.

1091
01:28:32.120 --> 01:28:39.200
Yeah. Like the father, God's heart to us. And we put more weight on them because they are pastoral.

1092
01:28:39.940 --> 01:28:48.160
And so when they make mistakes, it's very hard for us to, what's the word I want to use,

1093
01:28:48.360 --> 01:28:56.420
kind of reconcile that within ourselves. And so there might be a couple layers to that one,

1094
01:28:56.420 --> 01:29:01.260
I guess, is what I'm saying to you. Oh, it is. Because the church I grew up in for

1095
01:29:01.260 --> 01:29:08.600
22 years, there was a lot of cliques and a lot of the pastors in that church saw me grow up.

1096
01:29:09.220 --> 01:29:15.000
But then there was always this disconnect. I was a black sheep growing up in that church.

1097
01:29:15.620 --> 01:29:20.720
And I had a few pastors would see me on the street, and they would purposely avoid me.

1098
01:29:21.620 --> 01:29:25.780
Even if I just wanted to say hello and not really bother them, because I know they're in their

1099
01:29:27.380 --> 01:29:34.740
private time outside of the church wanting to do everyday things. But it was still very hurtful.

1100
01:29:34.740 --> 01:29:44.420
I can't even say hi. What is the big deal of it? And then when my mom got sick with cancer,

1101
01:29:44.420 --> 01:29:49.760
and we were still a part of that church, no one on the pastoral staff reached out,

1102
01:29:51.360 --> 01:29:58.380
prayed with us, prayed with her. And it's very layered. But my mom and I ended up going to

1103
01:29:58.380 --> 01:29:59.980
another church for a little while before we moved to

1104
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.580
back up north.

1105
01:30:02.840 --> 01:30:05.280
Okay, I'm really sorry to hear that,

1106
01:30:05.440 --> 01:30:07.100
that you all went through that

1107
01:30:07.100 --> 01:30:08.500
and that you had those experiences.

1108
01:30:09.060 --> 01:30:13.320
And so one of the things that is really powerful as well

1109
01:30:13.340 --> 01:30:17.040
is that oftentimes where we have experienced hurt

1110
01:30:17.040 --> 01:30:19.940
and woundedness, God wants to heal us

1111
01:30:20.000 --> 01:30:22.920
through similar types of people.

1112
01:30:23.320 --> 01:30:27.860
So for example, hurt in family, healed in family,

1113
01:30:28.380 --> 01:30:30.500
hurt in relationship, healed in relationship.

1114
01:30:30.760 --> 01:30:35.300
And so in a community with another pastor,

1115
01:30:35.560 --> 01:30:39.200
God may bring you to a place where that pastor

1116
01:30:39.480 --> 01:30:41.920
will be kind and caring,

1117
01:30:42.040 --> 01:30:45.900
and that can redeem some of those situations

1118
01:30:45.900 --> 01:30:47.140
from before as well.

1119
01:30:47.440 --> 01:30:50.140
And so as you're in those forgiveness prayer sheets,

1120
01:30:50.300 --> 01:30:52.340
just make sure that you write specific,

1121
01:30:52.480 --> 01:30:54.680
kind of like what you started talking to us about tonight

1122
01:30:54.680 --> 01:30:58.580
and forgiving them as you go, super important.

1123
01:30:59.680 --> 01:31:00.680
Will do, thank you.

1124
01:31:01.120 --> 01:31:02.380
You're welcome, thanks for sharing.

1125
01:31:03.760 --> 01:31:04.840
Mikayla, go ahead.

1126
01:31:06.160 --> 01:31:08.900
Yeah, so I was actually with Jennifer

1127
01:31:09.080 --> 01:31:11.780
and something that I shared was,

1128
01:31:12.080 --> 01:31:13.100
as you were talking,

1129
01:31:13.260 --> 01:31:16.200
it was just what came to my mind at first was,

1130
01:31:16.700 --> 01:31:17.580
I had a friend,

1131
01:31:17.780 --> 01:31:19.980
it wasn't necessarily in romantic relationships,

1132
01:31:20.180 --> 01:31:22.580
even though I've had stories there,

1133
01:31:22.580 --> 01:31:25.160
but it was with a friend like years ago

1134
01:31:25.160 --> 01:31:26.780
and we became good friends.

1135
01:31:27.060 --> 01:31:29.060
And I remember her saying something to me like,

1136
01:31:29.320 --> 01:31:30.860
oh, like I always wanna be there for you

1137
01:31:30.860 --> 01:31:33.240
or I always wanna be like your friend.

1138
01:31:34.500 --> 01:31:36.940
And she still is my friend to this day,

1139
01:31:37.020 --> 01:31:40.360
but I remember we kind of like went to different colleges,

1140
01:31:40.560 --> 01:31:42.160
she got married, was in a relationship,

1141
01:31:42.420 --> 01:31:43.520
got married kind of younger,

1142
01:31:44.320 --> 01:31:49.100
had a couple of kids as time went on

1143
01:31:49.100 --> 01:31:50.060
and we just kind of,

1144
01:31:50.200 --> 01:31:51.540
there was just kind of a distance there.

1145
01:31:51.540 --> 01:31:53.200
And sometimes I would try to reach out to her

1146
01:31:53.200 --> 01:31:54.320
and she wouldn't respond,

1147
01:31:54.900 --> 01:31:56.220
not because she didn't love me,

1148
01:31:56.320 --> 01:31:59.560
but she was just very overwhelmed with life at the time.

1149
01:32:00.300 --> 01:32:03.420
And so, it kind of seemed like a small thing,

1150
01:32:03.540 --> 01:32:04.820
but I also had another friend,

1151
01:32:04.880 --> 01:32:06.440
it was a very similar situation,

1152
01:32:06.960 --> 01:32:10.680
like I was like a maid of honor in her wedding.

1153
01:32:11.660 --> 01:32:13.560
And so she would call me her best friend,

1154
01:32:13.660 --> 01:32:14.800
but then when she got married,

1155
01:32:14.820 --> 01:32:16.440
it was like the dynamic change.

1156
01:32:16.740 --> 01:32:18.900
So I think that for me,

1157
01:32:18.900 --> 01:32:19.820
God's kind of showing me

1158
01:32:19.820 --> 01:32:22.900
that sometimes it's like Satan kind of writes

1159
01:32:22.960 --> 01:32:25.680
this narrative over those events of like,

1160
01:32:25.760 --> 01:32:27.460
oh, well, friendships just never really last

1161
01:32:27.460 --> 01:32:28.900
or friendships are just seasonal

1162
01:32:28.900 --> 01:32:32.260
or like there is no such thing as like lifelong friends

1163
01:32:32.260 --> 01:32:34.300
that you just stay connected with over the years.

1164
01:32:34.620 --> 01:32:38.200
And like that friends kind of let you down

1165
01:32:38.200 --> 01:32:39.700
or they're not really there for you,

1166
01:32:39.780 --> 01:32:41.680
which I know is not always true,

1167
01:32:41.920 --> 01:32:43.680
but it's, as you were talking,

1168
01:32:43.800 --> 01:32:46.120
it's like a perspective that I've had

1169
01:32:46.120 --> 01:32:47.840
because of those experiences.

1170
01:32:48.840 --> 01:32:51.160
And I've just realized that,

1171
01:32:51.580 --> 01:32:53.640
oh, like that is something that has been in my past

1172
01:32:53.640 --> 01:32:57.420
that it's kind of made me view relationships currently

1173
01:32:57.420 --> 01:32:59.260
through that lens, so.

1174
01:32:59.580 --> 01:33:01.600
Yeah, this is super good insight.

1175
01:33:01.740 --> 01:33:04.260
And I really think the Lord is revealing that to you.

1176
01:33:04.360 --> 01:33:05.380
There's a couple of things

1177
01:33:05.380 --> 01:33:08.140
I do think it's important for me to mention.

1178
01:33:10.200 --> 01:33:13.100
So, most of us are lucky if we have,

1179
01:33:13.500 --> 01:33:16.220
you know, this many really good friends, okay?

1180
01:33:16.980 --> 01:33:18.260
And what I mean by that is like

1181
01:33:18.260 --> 01:33:20.920
the people that really know us, okay?

1182
01:33:20.920 --> 01:33:23.880
We're really blessed if we even have remotely this many,

1183
01:33:24.480 --> 01:33:26.700
let alone, you know, maybe even two, some of us.

1184
01:33:26.700 --> 01:33:27.840
I'm doing that really funny,

1185
01:33:27.900 --> 01:33:30.380
but just, you know, however many.

1186
01:33:31.560 --> 01:33:33.740
And so then the other reality is this,

1187
01:33:33.900 --> 01:33:35.200
is that seasons change.

1188
01:33:36.280 --> 01:33:37.980
And I remember way back,

1189
01:33:38.080 --> 01:33:41.340
I used to feel a lot of deep rejection

1190
01:33:41.740 --> 01:33:44.120
when friendships would change and shift.

1191
01:33:44.640 --> 01:33:48.200
And I just wanted to keep all of my friends forever.

1192
01:33:48.920 --> 01:33:51.380
Now, I do have the best friend I've had my entire life.

1193
01:33:51.620 --> 01:33:52.640
I've known her since preschool.

1194
01:33:53.280 --> 01:33:54.400
Super thankful for that friendship.

1195
01:33:54.560 --> 01:33:57.320
But even in that, you all, the reality is this.

1196
01:33:57.880 --> 01:34:00.460
That friend, I love her, I can spend time with her,

1197
01:34:00.520 --> 01:34:03.240
and we can just, you know, connect and have fun.

1198
01:34:03.460 --> 01:34:06.500
And she genuinely, like, I love her like family.

1199
01:34:06.900 --> 01:34:08.300
But I can't talk to her

1200
01:34:08.300 --> 01:34:10.340
about a lot of really deep spiritual things.

1201
01:34:11.420 --> 01:34:12.500
So that's really tough.

1202
01:34:12.540 --> 01:34:13.780
That's always kind of been there.

1203
01:34:13.780 --> 01:34:15.980
Now, she goes to church and, you know,

1204
01:34:15.980 --> 01:34:17.800
I know that she loves Jesus,

1205
01:34:18.500 --> 01:34:21.460
but there's just, it's just different.

1206
01:34:23.460 --> 01:34:25.180
And so I'm sharing that with you

1207
01:34:25.220 --> 01:34:28.800
because I had to really grow in my understanding

1208
01:34:28.800 --> 01:34:31.400
of when seasons change with friends,

1209
01:34:33.080 --> 01:34:35.080
unless something negative happens

1210
01:34:35.080 --> 01:34:36.520
where I feel betrayed or something,

1211
01:34:36.520 --> 01:34:37.920
and I really have to do some heart healing,

1212
01:34:38.360 --> 01:34:41.820
like, I can release them and know

1213
01:34:41.820 --> 01:34:46.340
that that is probably happening

1214
01:34:46.340 --> 01:34:50.860
so that God can bring me something new, okay?

1215
01:34:52.180 --> 01:34:56.560
And when in the past, I didn't believe that,

1216
01:34:56.900 --> 01:34:59.980
I would feel so much rejection and so.

1217
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.120
much like abandonment, because I had all these abandonment wounds

1218
01:35:03.120 --> 01:35:07.660
when I was younger, and that those things just fed right into

1219
01:35:07.460 --> 01:35:11.400
that. And so I just wanted to mention that. So if you struggle

1220
01:35:11.400 --> 01:35:14.780
with any kind of feelings of rejection or abandonment, it

1221
01:35:14.780 --> 01:35:18.740
could be because there might be something in your own, like core

1222
01:35:18.780 --> 01:35:24.080
growing up time that needs some healing. But just that we can

1223
01:35:24.080 --> 01:35:29.980
kind of hold things a little more loosely, ladies. And it

1224
01:35:29.980 --> 01:35:31.900
doesn't have to be a friend that lasts your whole life, but

1225
01:35:32.080 --> 01:35:38.240
that we can trust that the friendships that we need in

1226
01:35:38.240 --> 01:35:44.260
every season that God will provide those. And where we can

1227
01:35:44.260 --> 01:35:48.200
start partnering with that kind of, like thinking about friends

1228
01:35:48.200 --> 01:35:51.700
in our life and, and all of that, and it can it can really

1229
01:35:51.700 --> 01:35:55.820
help us, you know, approach it from a healthier place. Okay.

1230
01:35:57.660 --> 01:36:02.240
So, but for you, I feel like a cycle has kind of been starting

1231
01:36:02.240 --> 01:36:07.340
to kind of perpetuate itself. And so I'm, I want to encourage

1232
01:36:07.340 --> 01:36:11.320
you to ask the Lord, these two friends you mentioned, okay, I

1233
01:36:11.320 --> 01:36:14.340
want you to ask him, was there any other friends in your life

1234
01:36:14.340 --> 01:36:20.760
even before these friends, where you were being more of a friend

1235
01:36:20.760 --> 01:36:24.800
to them than they were being to you? Because that's actually

1236
01:36:24.800 --> 01:36:28.400
what I heard you talking about, whether you realize or not. And

1237
01:36:28.400 --> 01:36:33.680
so that's my classic. That's, that's me. Okay. Is that how it

1238
01:36:33.680 --> 01:36:35.560
is in romantic relationships as well?

1239
01:36:36.620 --> 01:36:41.040
Sometimes it can be. Yeah. I'm the character nurturing

1240
01:36:41.040 --> 01:36:42.540
together one. Yeah.

1241
01:36:42.700 --> 01:36:51.880
Okay. So sometimes in life, when we've got gone through a lot of

1242
01:36:52.060 --> 01:36:57.260
things, and we can become these amazing givers and protectors and

1243
01:36:57.260 --> 01:37:00.080
all this stuff. It's just beautiful. It's amazing. But

1244
01:37:00.080 --> 01:37:03.960
that can can get overextended. Okay. And then we don't have

1245
01:37:03.960 --> 01:37:06.860
boundaries. And then we're kind of pursuing these people always

1246
01:37:06.860 --> 01:37:10.120
trying to make them be our friends or follow up with us or,

1247
01:37:10.560 --> 01:37:13.240
you know, we're like always checking on them. But then we're

1248
01:37:13.240 --> 01:37:16.280
feeling sad and resentful on the inside because they're not

1249
01:37:16.500 --> 01:37:21.100
reciprocating that. Well, a lot of times it's because we're

1250
01:37:21.100 --> 01:37:27.120
putting expectations on them. Because of how we are, when

1251
01:37:27.120 --> 01:37:29.760
they've already shown us that that isn't the kind of friend

1252
01:37:29.760 --> 01:37:33.640
that they can be. And it doesn't mean that they were never that

1253
01:37:33.640 --> 01:37:36.360
friend, maybe they were that friend in the past, but in this

1254
01:37:36.560 --> 01:37:40.780
current season, if that is not the kind of friend that they are

1255
01:37:40.780 --> 01:37:45.320
capable of being, instead of us trying to chase that down, that

1256
01:37:45.320 --> 01:37:48.080
we would kind of release that it doesn't mean we can't, we won't

1257
01:37:48.080 --> 01:37:51.060
still be friends or that we won't still be kind, but that we

1258
01:37:51.060 --> 01:37:55.440
can release that and say, okay, Lord, like, you know, and

1259
01:37:55.440 --> 01:37:58.480
acknowledge if we feel sad, feel the feels so that we can heal

1260
01:37:58.480 --> 01:38:02.420
the, you know, all those feels. But Lord, just, man, I'm really

1261
01:38:02.420 --> 01:38:07.300
bummed about this friend, but I'm just going to release her.

1262
01:38:07.460 --> 01:38:12.800
And Lord, if, if you have someone in this season, new for

1263
01:38:12.800 --> 01:38:17.160
me that can really run the race with me, help me to receive that

1264
01:38:17.160 --> 01:38:20.640
friend, and, and have a connection where we're both

1265
01:38:20.640 --> 01:38:23.680
giving, we're both giving and we're both taking it's flowing,

1266
01:38:24.000 --> 01:38:27.920
you know, it's not just this one sided, take, take, take, take,

1267
01:38:28.140 --> 01:38:32.000
take, or they're not engaging at all. And we're just trying to

1268
01:38:32.000 --> 01:38:35.680
pursue, pursue, pursue. Does that make sense? Yeah, that's

1269
01:38:35.520 --> 01:38:38.880
great. And some of us same thing, again, in romantic

1270
01:38:38.880 --> 01:38:42.480
relationships, we get into those. And that person like that

1271
01:38:42.680 --> 01:38:45.680
situationship I was in that I told you all about earlier, I

1272
01:38:45.680 --> 01:38:52.300
was pursuing him like nobody's business. But he, he literally

1273
01:38:52.300 --> 01:38:58.680
was never in it. I can honestly say it, it's really hard to, to

1274
01:38:58.680 --> 01:39:04.140
really look at that. But he was never in it from day one. Six

1275
01:39:04.140 --> 01:39:09.400
years I spent trying to convince him to love me. Praise the Lord,

1276
01:39:09.560 --> 01:39:12.820
God's a redeemer of time. And he gives us that back. God has

1277
01:39:12.820 --> 01:39:16.700
absolutely, radically, totally given that back to me. So let's

1278
01:39:16.700 --> 01:39:19.680
look at was there a friend before these friends that you

1279
01:39:19.680 --> 01:39:23.480
went through that stuff with, where that was the root of, you

1280
01:39:23.480 --> 01:39:26.420
know, these things showing up? Or was this situation with these

1281
01:39:26.420 --> 01:39:28.740
two friends? Is that where it started? Because we want to get

1282
01:39:28.740 --> 01:39:31.940
to where did it start? And maybe it might not even be with a

1283
01:39:31.940 --> 01:39:34.180
friend, it might have been with a family member where you were

1284
01:39:34.180 --> 01:39:37.780
just giving, giving, giving, giving, you know, so just be

1285
01:39:37.780 --> 01:39:41.340
really open to what the Lord shows you. But it might even

1286
01:39:41.340 --> 01:39:43.600
been a little friend, you know, when you're in elementary

1287
01:39:43.600 --> 01:39:46.940
school, like I know it sounds like a little crazy, but we can

1288
01:39:46.940 --> 01:39:52.660
even start these cycles when we're that little. Okay, thank

1289
01:39:52.660 --> 01:39:55.800
you. That's very helpful. Thank you. You're welcome. And ladies,

1290
01:39:56.140 --> 01:39:59.980
you know, again, let's go back to the value. What

1291
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.440
are we worth? What is our value? Well, we're worth somebody

1292
01:40:04.440 --> 01:40:08.100
loving us and investing on us, but let's do it mutually. Okay.

1293
01:40:09.640 --> 01:40:15.460
Alright, so we're at 940. I have 2345678 ladies who have their

1294
01:40:15.460 --> 01:40:17.080
hands up and I know I'm not gonna be able to get through

1295
01:40:17.080 --> 01:40:21.620
you all. Okay. So I'm gonna just say out loud right now because I

1296
01:40:21.620 --> 01:40:26.120
can't say on past 10 tonight, that if I don't get to you,

1297
01:40:26.220 --> 01:40:29.100
please do not get your feelings hurt. Okay, let's come into the

1298
01:40:29.180 --> 01:40:31.680
group and put your post in there and I will coach you in

1299
01:40:31.560 --> 01:40:35.440
there. Because I want to hear what you have to say and so does

1300
01:40:35.440 --> 01:40:38.320
the community and I want you like it's really important for

1301
01:40:38.320 --> 01:40:41.780
you to know that. But I genuinely I know I won't get

1302
01:40:41.780 --> 01:40:44.340
through all of you in the next remaining moments that I have.

1303
01:40:44.720 --> 01:40:46.900
Let me go to Chrissy next.

1304
01:40:50.180 --> 01:40:56.660
Hi. Hello. Can you hear me? Yes. Okay, great. So it's my first

1305
01:40:56.660 --> 01:41:00.080
night first time on here. I've only been signed up for like a

1306
01:41:03.160 --> 01:41:09.680
week. I didn't automatically have a person in mind. So I in

1307
01:41:09.740 --> 01:41:13.040
my breakout room, I sat and I listened to the other woman

1308
01:41:13.100 --> 01:41:17.840
first. Shalonda, I think was her name. I don't remember. I'm so

1309
01:41:19.720 --> 01:41:25.500
sorry. And then she asked me a question, which I don't remember

1310
01:41:25.500 --> 01:41:29.280
the actual question. But I do remember that the person that

1311
01:41:29.280 --> 01:41:34.220
came to my mind was my grandmother. And so I told her

1312
01:41:34.160 --> 01:41:38.600
about, Shalonda, thank you. I told her about my grandmother

1313
01:41:39.360 --> 01:41:43.760
and that she had gone through some trauma, obviously losing

1314
01:41:43.940 --> 01:41:47.840
her son, which was my father when I was little. And then she

1315
01:41:47.840 --> 01:41:51.040
lost her daughter, her only daughter shortly thereafter,

1316
01:41:51.840 --> 01:41:57.440
which was my aunt. But when you were talking, there was more

1317
01:41:57.460 --> 01:42:05.420
that the Lord revealed. She used to call me. We're Brazilian. So

1318
01:42:05.420 --> 01:42:10.640
she used to call me Meu Tesouro, which is my treasure. But she

1319
01:42:10.640 --> 01:42:16.800
lived more for her dead son and dead daughter than she did for

1320
01:42:16.800 --> 01:42:24.860
any of her living family. And it was very apparent, because if

1321
01:42:25.080 --> 01:42:30.600
we pulled her out of her environment, even for a day or

1322
01:42:30.600 --> 01:42:35.500
two, she would return to herself, and she would be our

1323
01:42:35.500 --> 01:42:41.940
grandmother again. But then she'd go right back to it. And

1324
01:42:45.380 --> 01:42:52.200
at one point in time, the Lord put on my heart to go drive to

1325
01:42:52.200 --> 01:42:55.980
South Florida, pick her up, and bring her up to our service that

1326
01:42:55.980 --> 01:43:00.020
we were having that following weekend, because it was going to

1327
01:43:00.020 --> 01:43:04.160
be a healing service. And God said, Go get her. And so I did.

1328
01:43:04.640 --> 01:43:08.840
And she started to be healed at that time. She was able to walk

1329
01:43:08.840 --> 01:43:13.620
without holding on to anybody without anybody holding her. She

1330
01:43:13.620 --> 01:43:20.980
began to just let out a shout of hallelujah. And to that point,

1331
01:43:21.060 --> 01:43:29.160
she couldn't say anything but crap in Portuguese. So that was

1332
01:43:29.160 --> 01:43:34.960
great. And I loved it. And then she returned back to her home.

1333
01:43:35.640 --> 01:43:41.820
And it just deteriorated from there. Until finally, she passed

1334
01:43:43.380 --> 01:43:54.500
maybe like a year after that, I think. And that's, I think

1335
01:43:54.500 --> 01:44:01.120
that's what he was showing me, where I feel like she just left.

1336
01:44:01.920 --> 01:44:09.800
Like I wasn't really her treasure. I'm sure there's more

1337
01:44:09.800 --> 01:44:13.320
to it more to that. But that's what I got so far.

1338
01:44:14.140 --> 01:44:18.200
Thank you for sharing that with us. I'm really sorry to hear

1339
01:44:18.200 --> 01:44:25.040
about all the loss and your family. And as you were talking,

1340
01:44:25.920 --> 01:44:30.020
just to give you a little more clarity on something with your

1341
01:44:30.020 --> 01:44:34.060
grandma. I believe the Lord has shown me that part of what

1342
01:44:34.060 --> 01:44:40.000
happened is when she felt alive again. It was more painful for

1343
01:44:40.140 --> 01:44:47.140
her than to be in her grief. And because feeling alive again

1344
01:44:47.140 --> 01:44:54.780
means she's allowing her heart to be at risk again. And in your

1345
01:44:54.780 --> 01:44:56.940
process of forgiving her, because that's what you're going

1346
01:44:56.940 --> 01:44:59.200
to need to do, you're going to need to do a forgiveness prayer

1347
01:44:59.200 --> 01:44:59.600
sheet.

1348
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:07.600
for your grandma, and really ask the Lord what all you need to forgive her of, but I

1349
01:45:07.600 --> 01:45:12.820
believe you're going to need to forgive her for not choosing to live.

1350
01:45:15.240 --> 01:45:20.140
But also the other thing the Lord was saying to me is that this wasn't just grief.

1351
01:45:20.420 --> 01:45:21.980
This was despair.

1352
01:45:23.000 --> 01:45:29.980
So you know in the book of Ruth, it talks about Naomi, and Naomi had lost so many losses

1353
01:45:29.980 --> 01:45:37.140
you know, her husband, her sons, two sons, and the depth of what she felt, she literally

1354
01:45:37.140 --> 01:45:41.180
named herself like Mara, bitterness, like that was her lot.

1355
01:45:41.300 --> 01:45:42.440
That's what she believed.

1356
01:45:43.120 --> 01:45:48.340
That was how she was going to live out the rest of her life, and but God had something

1357
01:45:48.340 --> 01:45:54.120
else planned, and he brought, you know, he used Ruth to bring that to pass, and that

1358
01:45:54.460 --> 01:45:55.920
changed Naomi's life.

1359
01:45:57.460 --> 01:46:03.240
But the reality is, is that not everyone chooses to live, right?

1360
01:46:04.160 --> 01:46:09.800
And so as you're processing this, I think you were her treasure.

1361
01:46:10.900 --> 01:46:11.320
I do.

1362
01:46:11.640 --> 01:46:19.040
I think that she was caught between the tension of death and life, and if she chose to live,

1363
01:46:19.140 --> 01:46:24.200
you know, there's a lot of people that when they lose so many loved ones, that they actually

1364
01:46:24.200 --> 01:46:25.780
feel guilty for living.

1365
01:46:28.760 --> 01:46:33.120
And so I'm just, that's the third thing that just came up in my spirit, and so just trying

1366
01:46:33.120 --> 01:46:39.740
to bring some more like knowledge and like kind of revelation and insight to that situation

1367
01:46:40.240 --> 01:46:48.820
so that as you forgive her, you know, you can really start to be at peace with the truth

1368
01:46:48.820 --> 01:46:50.520
that I think she did love you.

1369
01:46:50.520 --> 01:46:51.500
I don't know your grandma.

1370
01:46:51.820 --> 01:46:56.020
I don't know the situation, but I think she genuinely meant what she said.

1371
01:46:57.140 --> 01:47:03.260
But when she was faced with the level of grief that she was facing, I don't know that she

1372
01:47:03.260 --> 01:47:05.520
knew how to continue to show you that.

1373
01:47:06.360 --> 01:47:07.100
Does that make sense?

1374
01:47:09.520 --> 01:47:18.660
But in that, as we're relating this also to God, keeping his promises, the fact that you

1375
01:47:18.660 --> 01:47:20.700
also share that you lost your dad.

1376
01:47:22.740 --> 01:47:26.640
I don't think it's a coincidence that you shared that as a part of the story tonight.

1377
01:47:26.780 --> 01:47:32.300
So I want to encourage you to be praying around the loss of your dad.

1378
01:47:32.620 --> 01:47:40.300
And if there are any remnants of when he passed, where the enemy might have come in and lied

1379
01:47:40.300 --> 01:47:44.980
to you about, you know, that God isn't good or that, you know, God doesn't care about

1380
01:47:44.980 --> 01:47:45.820
you or your family.

1381
01:47:45.860 --> 01:47:51.660
Or even when your grandma wasn't choosing to live that, you know, if God, if you were

1382
01:47:51.660 --> 01:47:56.180
really good, you would just snap her out of this stuff or you would just heal her and

1383
01:47:56.180 --> 01:47:56.660
set her free.

1384
01:47:56.760 --> 01:48:01.800
And, you know, where we really start to project things onto God when people aren't choosing

1385
01:48:02.500 --> 01:48:03.680
the healthy path.

1386
01:48:04.580 --> 01:48:06.700
And sometimes they want to choose it.

1387
01:48:06.700 --> 01:48:08.120
I really feel like it's important again.

1388
01:48:08.120 --> 01:48:13.180
I don't know your grandma, but I, I think she did want to, but I just think she was

1389
01:48:13.180 --> 01:48:15.440
so deep in the grief and the despair.

1390
01:48:16.300 --> 01:48:21.060
It becomes like a cloak on some people, like literally they don't know how to come out

1391
01:48:21.060 --> 01:48:22.420
from under it.

1392
01:48:23.020 --> 01:48:29.220
And again, choosing to live, they feel shame for it sometimes.

1393
01:48:29.700 --> 01:48:33.020
And so I believe God's going to give you a whole new level.

1394
01:48:33.060 --> 01:48:36.960
I think you already have it, but I think he's going to give you a whole new level of compassion

1395
01:48:37.960 --> 01:48:45.460
for your grandmother and that you can bring redemption on her behalf as you live.

1396
01:48:47.820 --> 01:48:55.120
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense because she, especially the, the guilt for living because

1397
01:48:55.120 --> 01:49:03.040
she was in the car in the accident where her daughter died, my aunt, my aunt was driving

1398
01:49:04.300 --> 01:49:08.440
and she was driving them to the airport as a matter of fact.

1399
01:49:10.580 --> 01:49:12.060
So that makes a lot of sense.

1400
01:49:14.440 --> 01:49:22.220
Also, funnily enough, I guess my mother's name is Noemi and her name was Martha.

1401
01:49:23.360 --> 01:49:23.780
Wow.

1402
01:49:26.260 --> 01:49:29.940
So, man, we hit on some really big things there.

1403
01:49:29.940 --> 01:49:32.860
I mean, I would have had no clue that your grandma was driving that car.

1404
01:49:34.040 --> 01:49:39.940
So God sees this whole situation and he wants to bring healing and peace to your, to your

1405
01:49:39.940 --> 01:49:44.680
soul regarding your grandma and the situations that have taken place.

1406
01:49:44.680 --> 01:49:47.200
And this is just the beginning for you.

1407
01:49:48.320 --> 01:49:48.840
Yeah.

1408
01:49:49.000 --> 01:49:50.920
And you are God's treasure too.

1409
01:49:51.400 --> 01:49:52.780
And he hasn't forgotten.

1410
01:49:55.020 --> 01:49:55.540
Yeah.

1411
01:49:55.780 --> 01:49:56.820
Thank you for sharing.

1412
01:49:56.980 --> 01:49:58.160
I'm so glad that you were here tonight.

1413
01:49:58.820 --> 01:49:59.380
Thank you.

1414
01:49:59.520 --> 01:49:59.980
I'm glad.

1415
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.260
too, because I went to my workout and it lasted longer than it should have.

1416
01:50:06.140 --> 01:50:07.820
And, uh, I almost forgot.

1417
01:50:08.100 --> 01:50:09.860
So I was listening in the car on my way home.

1418
01:50:11.240 --> 01:50:14.040
So glad God always helps us remember.

1419
01:50:14.300 --> 01:50:17.360
And he brings us to places that, that we need ladies.

1420
01:50:17.540 --> 01:50:20.840
Let's keep trusted in him saying, thank you so much for sharing.

1421
01:50:21.200 --> 01:50:23.000
Uh, Yash, go ahead.

1422
01:50:27.300 --> 01:50:28.660
Sorry, I was on mute.

1423
01:50:28.660 --> 01:50:33.900
So my sharing was, uh, with, uh, with Megan.

1424
01:50:34.240 --> 01:50:40.660
So, uh, it was actually with regard to, uh, the relationship I had, uh, about

1425
01:50:40.660 --> 01:50:46.100
six years ago, uh, and not ago for six years long, and it was on and off, on

1426
01:50:46.100 --> 01:50:50.920
and off, uh, but what happened was like when things were not working so great,

1427
01:50:51.220 --> 01:50:54.860
I decided to leave the relationship and I moved countries.

1428
01:50:55.540 --> 01:51:01.260
So, but still for all, we remained friends and we were, I mean, at one point I

1429
01:51:01.260 --> 01:51:06.740
thought, you know, something could work out and I was actually receiving words

1430
01:51:06.740 --> 01:51:08.580
of confirmation from my Christian friends.

1431
01:51:08.680 --> 01:51:12.460
You know, you've been praying for him, things would work out and things would

1432
01:51:12.820 --> 01:51:17.020
change, uh, then, uh, fast forward to this year.

1433
01:51:17.200 --> 01:51:21.580
Um, I decided that I need to go to the country that he also moved countries.

1434
01:51:21.580 --> 01:51:25.860
So I decided to go to that country that he is, uh, living actually, because

1435
01:51:25.860 --> 01:51:27.360
some of my friends are also there.

1436
01:51:27.740 --> 01:51:31.920
So I went with kind of my other few of my friends over there.

1437
01:51:32.400 --> 01:51:39.100
Um, but then I meet him and then I find out that he's been living with his

1438
01:51:39.100 --> 01:51:40.540
girlfriend for the past two years.

1439
01:51:40.980 --> 01:51:41.520
Right.

1440
01:51:41.520 --> 01:51:46.280
So, and that kind of broke my heart, even though I don't know whether I should

1441
01:51:46.280 --> 01:51:50.000
have waited that long to have hope for him, about him.

1442
01:51:50.520 --> 01:51:55.220
Uh, but I think what I, when you talked about broken promises, I know this is not

1443
01:51:55.220 --> 01:52:00.320
God's fault, but I think what happened was when I received those words of

1444
01:52:00.320 --> 01:52:05.620
confirmation, I mean, I held on to that more than I should have spent time with

1445
01:52:05.620 --> 01:52:08.860
God and asked for whether it's from God or not.

1446
01:52:09.180 --> 01:52:12.740
And I'm just trying to heal from that if it makes sense.

1447
01:52:12.880 --> 01:52:19.720
And because of that, um, I kind of, uh, not keep promises to myself.

1448
01:52:20.000 --> 01:52:21.660
If that makes sense.

1449
01:52:21.960 --> 01:52:22.220
Yeah.

1450
01:52:22.220 --> 01:52:24.760
So that's what I'm struggling with these days.

1451
01:52:25.640 --> 01:52:28.980
Um, so here, let me say something that's really important.

1452
01:52:29.240 --> 01:52:29.440
You all.

1453
01:52:32.140 --> 01:52:35.180
Our friends love us and they want the best for us.

1454
01:52:35.600 --> 01:52:40.260
And sometimes they even pray things to encourage us and things that aren't

1455
01:52:40.260 --> 01:52:43.160
healthy because they want something good for us.

1456
01:52:43.340 --> 01:52:49.140
And so we need to be really careful about, it doesn't mean your friends can't pray

1457
01:52:49.140 --> 01:52:54.220
for you, but I just want you to be careful about, um, where you're getting

1458
01:52:54.220 --> 01:53:02.220
your encouragement and your words from the Lord from, because again, sometimes

1459
01:53:02.520 --> 01:53:07.560
people in our flesh, we have a hard time keeping our emotions and our feelings out

1460
01:53:07.560 --> 01:53:08.020
of it.

1461
01:53:08.400 --> 01:53:08.960
Okay.

1462
01:53:09.480 --> 01:53:14.800
So, um, the best thing that you can do, I'm really sorry to hear that he was

1463
01:53:14.800 --> 01:53:19.480
still, you know, he was living with his girlfriend and, you know, remaining,

1464
01:53:19.640 --> 01:53:20.960
keeping this door open with you.

1465
01:53:20.960 --> 01:53:23.180
Cause I think that wasn't healthy for him to do.

1466
01:53:23.920 --> 01:53:26.580
Um, and so I want to acknowledge that as well.

1467
01:53:27.220 --> 01:53:32.500
Um, and so my question to you is, are you all still connecting as friends?

1468
01:53:33.380 --> 01:53:36.500
Uh, you mean the guy or yes, the guy?

1469
01:53:36.700 --> 01:53:37.560
No, no, no.

1470
01:53:37.560 --> 01:53:41.320
I mean, I just kind of, you know, that's great.

1471
01:53:41.320 --> 01:53:42.700
That's what I was hoping for.

1472
01:53:42.700 --> 01:53:52.040
Um, and so, um, in the future, I think as well, um, really asking yourself.

1473
01:53:52.900 --> 01:53:54.780
Um, key, important questions.

1474
01:53:55.040 --> 01:53:59.320
Like when we're in relationships, just like I was in that one, you know, trying

1475
01:53:59.320 --> 01:54:00.820
to pursue and trying to make that happen.

1476
01:54:00.820 --> 01:54:05.400
Like when things are on again, off again, like what, let's ask ourselves, what,

1477
01:54:05.800 --> 01:54:07.140
why are they on again, off again?

1478
01:54:07.140 --> 01:54:09.500
Like what's going on inside of us?

1479
01:54:09.500 --> 01:54:13.980
Like, Lord, is there something that I'm not willing to pay attention to here

1480
01:54:14.040 --> 01:54:18.680
that keeps repeating itself, which leads us back to the breakup time.

1481
01:54:19.120 --> 01:54:19.420
Okay.

1482
01:54:19.660 --> 01:54:25.320
And then, um, at the core, when you say you're kind of lost yourself some

1483
01:54:25.320 --> 01:54:30.620
because of this, um, and breaking promises to yourself, I would encourage

1484
01:54:30.620 --> 01:54:34.900
you kind of like a little bit of what I was telling Nari, where you start to

1485
01:54:34.980 --> 01:54:39.800
rediscover who you are and what is God's plan for you?

1486
01:54:40.040 --> 01:54:41.860
What are the values that you have?

1487
01:54:42.160 --> 01:54:44.180
Like I made this list, ladies.

1488
01:54:44.180 --> 01:54:44.800
I'm not kidding.

1489
01:54:45.120 --> 01:54:50.220
I wrote out every single one of my values and I hung it up in my pantry

1490
01:54:50.220 --> 01:54:55.180
so that when I opened it every day, I would read what my values were.

1491
01:54:55.400 --> 01:54:59.400
One of my values being, I will not have sex outside of marriage.

1492
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:08.940
Why did I do that? Because I needed to remind myself that that was one of my values that I was not going to cross ever again.

1493
01:55:11.000 --> 01:55:19.040
And I had other things listed on there that I wasn't going to deny my own needs in a relationship ever again.

1494
01:55:19.500 --> 01:55:26.000
And so those were things that I started building my value list and I would pray and like,

1495
01:55:26.000 --> 01:55:31.080
what else do I value about myself, about relationships, about God?

1496
01:55:32.640 --> 01:55:35.540
And I would add to that list as I went.

1497
01:55:36.120 --> 01:55:40.740
And I just kept that before myself because it's just like the Bible says, keep the vision plain.

1498
01:55:41.080 --> 01:55:47.680
Well, I needed the vision to be plain in front of me about my values, where I would see it and read it and agree with it.

1499
01:55:47.720 --> 01:55:53.500
Not just that it would be there and it'd be this piece of paper like, oh, yeah, do my thing, forget about it.

1500
01:55:53.500 --> 01:55:57.100
But literally when I would open that, I got into this habit.

1501
01:55:57.280 --> 01:56:02.100
I would pause and I would read my value statements out loud over myself.

1502
01:56:03.060 --> 01:56:09.080
This is what I value. This is what I'm not willing to budge on because this is what God is saying to me.

1503
01:56:09.360 --> 01:56:14.840
And I would just talk to my own spirit, just like, you know, David and in the Bible, it says he talked to his own spirit.

1504
01:56:14.940 --> 01:56:18.120
Why are you downcast on my soul? Well, why do you think he talked to his spirit?

1505
01:56:19.360 --> 01:56:22.620
Because our soul and our spirit, they needed some talking to sometimes.

1506
01:56:22.620 --> 01:56:30.340
And when we speak over our own selves, y'all, there's just something about hearing our own voice, speaking truth to ourselves.

1507
01:56:30.920 --> 01:56:33.140
That it gets it really deep down in.

1508
01:56:33.620 --> 01:56:40.000
And so I want to encourage you all to be thinking about that, investing in that and praying about it.

1509
01:56:40.040 --> 01:56:44.540
Now, we're not going to be super rigid ladies and harsh towards ourselves.

1510
01:56:44.540 --> 01:56:45.680
We're going to have grace.

1511
01:56:45.680 --> 01:56:56.240
But I believe that when you partner with God, I believe by your grace that you can empower me to stand by my values.

1512
01:56:57.000 --> 01:57:02.820
No matter what comes, no matter how hot or sexy some person is.

1513
01:57:03.340 --> 01:57:07.920
Yep, I just said it. You can stand by your values even when they're hot and sexy.

1514
01:57:08.140 --> 01:57:11.660
Okay, you can. We all can.

1515
01:57:12.140 --> 01:57:14.480
We can walk in the fruit of the spirit of self-control.

1516
01:57:14.480 --> 01:57:18.440
We can learn how to grow in that fruit of the spirit.

1517
01:57:19.500 --> 01:57:24.220
The spirit is what enables us and empowers us to make the right choices in every situation.

1518
01:57:24.960 --> 01:57:29.160
So Yash wasn't talking about that, but I felt led to add that in there for everybody.

1519
01:57:29.760 --> 01:57:30.400
All right.

1520
01:57:31.300 --> 01:57:35.180
Yeah, when they're godly, hot and sexy, Laura, it's even harder.

1521
01:57:35.820 --> 01:57:44.940
Tell you what, as I got closer to engagement time, y'all, it got harder and harder to be careful about that stuff.

1522
01:57:44.980 --> 01:57:48.040
And so we had all kinds of boundaries and guardrails we put in place.

1523
01:57:48.180 --> 01:57:50.180
I had to say no kissing allowed.

1524
01:57:51.080 --> 01:57:56.700
I couldn't even kiss because when I kissed, I was thinking about things I shouldn't have been thinking about.

1525
01:57:57.060 --> 01:57:58.480
So no more kissing.

1526
01:57:58.860 --> 01:58:02.180
I think we did that for like four months up to our wedding.

1527
01:58:02.380 --> 01:58:03.700
No more cuddling.

1528
01:58:04.520 --> 01:58:07.520
Like I couldn't even lay close for real.

1529
01:58:07.760 --> 01:58:09.720
I'm talking real talk right now.

1530
01:58:10.000 --> 01:58:11.040
But, y'all, we did it.

1531
01:58:11.120 --> 01:58:14.280
We both fought for covenant, and it was important to both of us.

1532
01:58:14.420 --> 01:58:17.440
And so if I can do it, you can do it, too.

1533
01:58:17.640 --> 01:58:18.780
So there you go.

1534
01:58:19.120 --> 01:58:19.620
All right.

1535
01:58:19.680 --> 01:58:20.800
Yash, thanks for sharing.

1536
01:58:20.980 --> 01:58:21.780
Megan, go ahead.

1537
01:58:24.840 --> 01:58:29.940
I just wanted to sorry, I need to move into another room real quick.

1538
01:58:30.420 --> 01:58:31.700
Just share.

1539
01:58:32.920 --> 01:58:46.760
So for me, when I was speaking with Yash, one of the big things that I recognized was that I've had a lot of broken promises with friendships in regards to betrayal.

1540
01:58:47.760 --> 01:58:53.880
And a lot of the times when it happens, there's a tendency of manipulation from the other person.

1541
01:58:54.320 --> 01:59:06.940
And so it leaves me in a place of feeling very diminished and feeds into the lie that I'm not worthy enough and that, like, people really don't care about me.

1542
01:59:06.980 --> 01:59:14.180
And then that makes me feel that, like, maybe God doesn't care much about me, especially in my relationships.

1543
01:59:14.180 --> 01:59:22.700
And, I mean, it's definitely come through a relationship.

1544
01:59:25.240 --> 01:59:26.520
Oh, try talking again.

1545
01:59:26.620 --> 01:59:28.380
I think I lost you right at the end of what you were saying.

1546
01:59:29.540 --> 01:59:34.120
I just said I feel like that has happened in a lot of my friendships as of late.

1547
01:59:34.860 --> 01:59:35.280
Okay.

1548
01:59:37.080 --> 01:59:38.600
So let me ask you a question.

1549
01:59:38.760 --> 01:59:42.720
When they manipulate you, can you tell me, like, how does that show up?

1550
01:59:42.720 --> 01:59:45.920
What's something that they were doing to manipulate you?

1551
01:59:46.960 --> 01:59:52.720
One of the biggest things is, like, they try to make me take on more responsibility than I should.

1552
01:59:53.900 --> 01:59:59.560
And that, like, I should be responsible for my own emotions, but I also should be.

1553
02:00:01.640 --> 02:00:18.040
I'm taking responsibility over people and I don't think that's the case that it should be or that I should just suck it up and that kind of thing, but just that I need to literally serve people more than I think what's necessary.

1554
02:00:18.200 --> 02:00:21.380
And one of the big things I've been trying to learn is how to have healthy boundaries.

1555
02:00:22.920 --> 02:00:26.400
And it just feels like they're kind of counteracting that.

1556
02:00:26.400 --> 02:00:42.360
Yeah. So these people that this has shown up with them, let me ask you this, do they start manipulating and kind of like asking you to take on other people's emotions when you're not serving their need?

1557
02:00:43.500 --> 02:00:44.000
Yeah.

1558
02:00:44.880 --> 02:00:49.860
Okay. All right. So were these healthy friendships to begin with?

1559
02:00:51.000 --> 02:01:03.800
Most of them, yes. And a lot of them, they were like very much encouragers and stuff during some hard times that I had, but then it like flipped and changed.

1560
02:01:04.700 --> 02:01:09.300
So what caused it to flip and change? Like what was the kind of the pressure point?

1561
02:01:12.000 --> 02:01:29.300
I think because I got really honest about where I was at and it was something against the unity of a group that I was in that they just felt that that wasn't acceptable and that I needed to just suck it up and not be honest with where I was at.

1562
02:01:30.660 --> 02:01:35.860
So in the group setting, were you not comfortable with something they were doing or saying?

1563
02:01:35.860 --> 02:01:43.860
I wasn't comfortable with someone in the group specifically. It wasn't the person who manipulated me. It was somebody else.

1564
02:01:44.400 --> 02:01:58.080
Okay. So your friend that was kind of being manipulative, she wanted the group to stay together, including this person that you didn't like. Is that what I'm understanding?

1565
02:01:58.940 --> 02:01:59.460
Yes.

1566
02:01:59.460 --> 02:02:09.340
So that's where the people don't really care about me is coming in because they technically are choosing this other person over you.

1567
02:02:10.440 --> 02:02:16.920
So whether we realized or not, this is where kind of the betrayal, rejection, all that kind of starts to kick in.

1568
02:02:16.920 --> 02:02:25.100
And then which makes sense that the lie you're hearing is I'm not worthy, but that's not true. We know that's not true.

1569
02:02:25.720 --> 02:02:33.080
But at the core, let's ask the Lord to reveal when is the first time the lie I'm not worthy showed up?

1570
02:02:33.580 --> 02:02:43.080
Like was it really with just friendships or was that lie already in there and then it got triggered by this treatment of this friends?

1571
02:02:45.780 --> 02:02:57.460
And with this showing up more times recently, have these been similar kind of scenarios where you're uncomfortable with someone new that's introduced to a group

1572
02:02:57.460 --> 02:03:02.340
and then someone that you already were there with that you were friends with is not standing up for you?

1573
02:03:04.660 --> 02:03:08.580
Yeah, it's almost like that my needs never really truly get met.

1574
02:03:09.880 --> 02:03:16.320
So like when someone else is almost like abusing me, like then when I try to voice that it's not accepted.

1575
02:03:16.480 --> 02:03:19.940
And I know that kind of comes back to my childhood.

1576
02:03:20.420 --> 02:03:28.180
I'm the oldest of four and I had to like look after my siblings at a very young age, at the age of like four and five.

1577
02:03:28.180 --> 02:03:38.600
And I think also, especially with my dad, I very much was you were like not to be seen or heard and very diminished.

1578
02:03:38.960 --> 02:03:47.620
And when I've tried to voice my needs, especially in regards to like encouragement, he would just diminish.

1579
02:03:50.400 --> 02:03:54.420
And so I think because the healing needs to happen there.

1580
02:03:54.420 --> 02:03:58.420
So we just got to the root Megan. Okay, so that's what just happened there.

1581
02:03:59.500 --> 02:04:06.720
So while you are having these situations with your friends, and those are real, and those need taken care of as well.

1582
02:04:07.380 --> 02:04:11.700
What just revealed itself is where the core pain is that and that's with your dad.

1583
02:04:12.560 --> 02:04:24.140
Okay, so let's ask the Lord to help you process some of that stuff with your dad and the literally neglect that was taking place when your needs weren't being taken care of.

1584
02:04:26.460 --> 02:04:30.020
And doing a forgiveness prayer sheet to forgive him.

1585
02:04:31.960 --> 02:04:41.440
But I want to make sure that in this process that you're identifying with the Lord, asking the Lord's help, of course.

1586
02:04:43.160 --> 02:04:48.640
The different areas where you didn't feel like your needs were being met.

1587
02:04:49.480 --> 02:04:52.840
Because you need to forgive your dad for each one of those.

1588
02:04:55.180 --> 02:04:59.980
And the diminishing words that he spoke over you forgiving him for each one.

1589
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:05.440
that. Because it sounds like these friends are it's like

1590
02:05:05.440 --> 02:05:10.520
they're perpetuating the same thing your dad did. Okay, so

1591
02:05:10.520 --> 02:05:14.140
healing from the situation with your dad, it might might not

1592
02:05:14.140 --> 02:05:17.140
make those things go away immediately, but it is going to

1593
02:05:17.140 --> 02:05:22.460
start to impact how the enemy is coming at you through friends.

1594
02:05:23.120 --> 02:05:26.240
So that makes sense. Because he's trying to attack you in

1595
02:05:26.530 --> 02:05:30.510
similar ways. And the way that I'm interpreting it just in my

1596
02:05:30.510 --> 02:05:34.250
spirit is like people that you feel close to or that you should

1597
02:05:34.250 --> 02:05:40.650
be able to trust, turning on you. That's the similarity

1598
02:05:40.690 --> 02:05:46.990
there. Okay. And so let us know as you're processing that come

1599
02:05:46.990 --> 02:05:49.550
into the group and let's chat more about it because I think

1600
02:05:49.550 --> 02:05:52.190
there'll be some more unpacking that we'll need to help you do

1601
02:05:52.190 --> 02:05:57.290
okay. All right. Can I just ask like one quick question? Yeah.

1602
02:05:57.530 --> 02:06:01.230
I know that like, especially my dad and my mom both have very

1603
02:06:01.390 --> 02:06:04.370
narcissistic tendencies. And that's kind of been a big trend

1604
02:06:04.370 --> 02:06:09.070
even in relationships. If with everything that going on, would

1605
02:06:09.070 --> 02:06:10.810
you have anything in regards to that?

1606
02:06:12.190 --> 02:06:15.270
Yeah, I mean, it's not a shock to me that they struggled with

1607
02:06:15.270 --> 02:06:17.370
that. And that some of these friends have those same

1608
02:06:17.970 --> 02:06:23.030
And ladies, when we are in those situations, when we're growing

1609
02:06:23.030 --> 02:06:29.070
up, my mom and dad both operated in that as well. And so that's

1610
02:06:29.070 --> 02:06:31.670
what kind of led me to be a people pleaser all the time,

1611
02:06:31.690 --> 02:06:34.510
because I was trying to make everybody happy. And my dad was

1612
02:06:34.510 --> 02:06:38.070
like gone a lot. And so it was really with my mom. But there

1613
02:06:38.070 --> 02:06:43.110
were things that my dad did when he was back, that I was seeing

1614
02:06:43.110 --> 02:06:47.230
show up. And so, or like fights on the phone and things that he

1615
02:06:47.230 --> 02:06:50.550
was trying to control, even for, like, when I was adult, an

1616
02:06:50.550 --> 02:06:53.870
adult, he was trying to force me to sign up for some phone thing

1617
02:06:53.870 --> 02:06:56.890
that he was doing. And he like blew up on me, because I said,

1618
02:06:57.010 --> 02:07:00.910
No, I just, I set a healthy boundary, and he just lost it,

1619
02:07:01.170 --> 02:07:06.530
you know. And so I think the biggest thing is just really

1620
02:07:07.370 --> 02:07:11.370
defining your boundaries and knowing what is healthy for you.

1621
02:07:13.610 --> 02:07:17.670
And the more that you do this course, and you heal and really

1622
02:07:17.670 --> 02:07:23.910
figure out figure out who you are. I think some of your

1623
02:07:23.910 --> 02:07:26.230
friendship desires are going to change, I think you're going to

1624
02:07:26.230 --> 02:07:29.530
want to have some different friends. And that's why I asked

1625
02:07:29.530 --> 02:07:33.210
you to begin with, was this a good friend? Was this a healthy

1626
02:07:33.110 --> 02:07:38.570
friend? Because, I mean, people could be good friends. But then

1627
02:07:38.570 --> 02:07:41.190
when we start to heal, or we start to recognize that

1628
02:07:41.190 --> 02:07:44.690
something's not healthy, and we say something, and then they're

1629
02:07:44.690 --> 02:07:47.670
not even willing to listen, or they're not willing to go to bat

1630
02:07:47.670 --> 02:07:50.650
for us, and we've been friends with them for a while, then that

1631
02:07:50.650 --> 02:07:53.810
seems a little, maybe they weren't really as good of a

1632
02:07:53.810 --> 02:07:58.310
friend as we thought they were, you know. And so just be praying

1633
02:07:58.310 --> 02:08:03.730
about that, too. Sometimes we have rose colored glasses on. And

1634
02:08:03.730 --> 02:08:07.110
we see the best in everybody, because we want to believe the

1635
02:08:07.230 --> 02:08:11.730
best in everybody. But God can increase your discernment and

1636
02:08:11.790 --> 02:08:14.990
your wisdom to recognize if someone's healthy for you or

1637
02:08:14.970 --> 02:08:20.910
not. And the days ahead. Yeah. And I know that's kind of like a

1638
02:08:20.910 --> 02:08:24.550
big, like kind of a more general answer. But I think the more

1639
02:08:24.550 --> 02:08:26.730
that you heal, I'm going to be able to give you some more

1640
02:08:27.170 --> 02:08:31.430
direct, definite things as you move forward. Okay. Thank you.

1641
02:08:31.790 --> 02:08:34.310
All right. You're welcome. Ladies, I know there were I know

1642
02:08:34.310 --> 02:08:36.290
Tiffany put your hand down already. So there's like three

1643
02:08:36.290 --> 02:08:38.570
of you left that did not get to go. And I think someone else

1644
02:08:38.570 --> 02:08:42.090
had their hand up a little while ago as well. And I hope to see

1645
02:08:42.090 --> 02:08:44.530
your post in the group, please come in the group. And even if

1646
02:08:44.530 --> 02:08:46.610
you put it up tonight, I should see it first thing in the

1647
02:08:46.610 --> 02:08:49.290
morning. I'll get in into the group as soon as I can in the

1648
02:08:49.290 --> 02:08:53.310
morning and answer those and help you all through that. And

1649
02:08:53.310 --> 02:08:55.590
God bless you all. Let me pray for us. Father, thank you so

1650
02:08:55.590 --> 02:08:58.250
much for this night. We thank you God for everything that

1651
02:08:58.250 --> 02:09:00.790
you've already done all the things that you are going to do.

1652
02:09:00.890 --> 02:09:04.050
God, we thank you for revealing these areas for healing. God

1653
02:09:04.050 --> 02:09:06.690
bring things out of darkness into the light so that we can be

1654
02:09:06.690 --> 02:09:09.870
set free so that we can step further into the fullness of

1655
02:09:09.890 --> 02:09:13.070
everything that you have for us who you've called us to be. God

1656
02:09:13.070 --> 02:09:19.210
we thank you for awakening us and enabling us to arise and

1657
02:09:19.210 --> 02:09:22.850
that our enemies would be scattered including Satan the

1658
02:09:22.850 --> 02:09:25.570
devourer. We thank you Jesus that you came to give us life

1659
02:09:25.570 --> 02:09:28.070
and give it to us more abundantly and that you're going

1660
02:09:28.070 --> 02:09:31.450
to help us to step further into that good good abundant life

1661
02:09:31.450 --> 02:09:37.150
every day in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. I love you all so glad to

1662
02:09:37.150 --> 02:09:40.670
be here with you tonight and I will see you all in the group.

1663
02:09:40.810 --> 02:09:43.050
Okay. Good night, everyone. Bye