WEBVTT

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All right, we're going to give my Zoom a moment because it always likes to stall after I click

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that record button.

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I love it, I love it.

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We've got eight of you ladies on with me today.

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I'm sure there's going to be more.

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And I got every, like all of us are on camera.

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That never happens, y'all.

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That is awesome.

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I'm going to soak in this for a minute.

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Absolutely love it.

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Awesome.

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And I got Liz jumping on as well.

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Okay, cool, cool, cool.

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All right, well, let's go quickly ahead and get started.

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I'm going to be very, very brief.

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I really want to stay true to time today.

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I cannot stick around much longer after time.

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So I want to be able to get to everybody's questions.

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I know we had to rush through it last week.

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So I want to make sure I leave space for that today.

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So I'm going to be very, very quick to get through all of this content.

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Do I have anybody that's brand new to a live check in for phase two?

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Everybody?

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Okay, Hannah.

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Okay, Hannah, welcome.

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It's so, it's so glad.

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I'm so glad to have you here with us.

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So is this your, like, did you just come into phase two?

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Okay, so you're in phase two for about two weeks, but this is my first live session.

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Okay, perfect.

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How are you?

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Have you been able to watch the first kickoff video yet?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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How are you feeling?

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Okay.

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Taking it slow.

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That's good.

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Good.

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I like, I always encourage you ladies that just come in to take things slow.

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We do not want you ladies rushing through this content.

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I know it can get exciting where you're like, I just want to watch all the videos, but we

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really want you to spend time processing it.

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And there is no rush here.

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It is for you to just kind of take it at the pace that you need to.

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Our encouragement would be to at least spend at the minimum one week with each video.

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Okay.

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There's the five videos.

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So the minimum that you could be with us in this phase would be about five weeks.

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Okay.

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I wouldn't want anybody really rushing through any faster than that.

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And even then I would encourage sticking around just a little bit longer, more little, little

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more than five weeks, about six to eight weeks, I think is probably a good amount.

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But I have ladies that stay in here a little longer just so we can really kind of get through

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that dating for discovery process.

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Because for many of us like myself, we hadn't dated in a really long time.

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Okay.

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So I was in the program for about five years.

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I came here five years ago.

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And so I am a success story.

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So here, I'm just going to give you a little rundown and anybody that's going to watch

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this and replay, I am a success story.

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So I'm one of the coaches here at last year single.

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And so I've been now married.

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We just celebrated two years married.

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But I came in with Jackie five years ago.

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So I have been through this program.

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So again, I had not dated for many years when I first came to Jackie.

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And so it's totally okay to dip your toe in the water if you don't want to dive like all

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the way in.

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We're here to coach you through that.

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Okay.

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So we're here to answer any and all questions, not just dating questions, ladies, do know

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that heartwork never stops.

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Okay.

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Heartwork will always continue.

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Please, please, please bring anything that the Lord is bringing to surface.

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Bring it to this community.

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Okay.

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We're your sisters.

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We're your cheerleaders.

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We're here to help you process anything that the Lord wants to bring out surface.

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All right.

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This is our preparation period.

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All right.

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We're not waiting.

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We're not in the waiting room.

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We're in the preparation room.

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So God is going to use this dating season for you to also bring up any areas that he

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wants to highlight in you to heal.

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So and it's and some of its heartwork stuff, some of it has nothing to do with dating.

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So allow the Holy Spirit to come in and do that.

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that. Okay, Sam, I see your question. I had about the phases of their specific milestone

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that you need to achieve to get to phase three. It hasn't been okay. No, it would just be. So

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that's a really good question. It would just be that you need to cover all of the content. Sorry.

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My mouth is really dry. You would just need to cover all the five videos content.

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Make sure that you're showing up to some lives. Okay. And then at least be here about five to

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six weeks. And then you would just email admin at Jackie doorman.com to shift over to phase three.

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Okay. So again, I always allow ladies to kind of most ladies spend time processing, like when they

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feel ready. All right. And they kind of know, and there are some ladies that I have to encourage

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and kind of nudge like, Hey, I know you're ready. They don't trust themselves, but I trust that

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they're ready. Um, so if you're never sure, like we can, we can walk you through that as well.

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Okay. Um, you're saving that video for that very last reason. I totally get it.

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I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I know. I know. I get it. Um, I also encourage

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ladies that if you haven't been on it, like if you haven't had one of your seven dates,

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if you want to stick around in this phase until you've had at least a couple dates,

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you can do that. Because if you, you're like, look, I haven't been on a date yet, like a live

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date yet. And I really want to stay in this community in this phase until I've had a couple

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in-person dates under my belt. You're welcome to do that too. Okay. Um, I know a lot of people

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always ask this question. So I'm going to clarify it now. You do not have to get through all your

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dates before you move to phase three. Okay. That is not a requirement. The only requirement is

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watch those five videos, be here at least five weeks come to some lines.

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Hopefully we know who you are, myself and Ebony. Hopefully us coaches know who you are

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means that you've shown up means that you're not hiding. Um, and, um, yeah, so

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sound good. Good question. And Kim, thank you for sharing that. Yep. 26 years dating girl.

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I was seven years, so it wasn't nearly as long. Okay. But it was scary for me.

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It was scary. Um, and Jackie actually even kind of had to kind of kick me out of the nest,

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if you will. Um, and I think I shared this on someone's post in the app earlier today,

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or maybe it was yesterday. Um, cause I know they were sharing about being discouraged because

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everybody that was liking them on the apps they weren't interested in and people that they liked

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or were interested in wouldn't respond back to them. And one thing that Jackie had to do for me,

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um, she encouraged me just to go out on a date, even with guys that I wasn't interested in.

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She's like, just go out on a date, just get your feet wet. Like you don't have to like

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practice dating with someone that you're just like, this is my husband sort of idea. She's like,

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let's just, let's, how did she put it? Let's just go ahead and just like,

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Oh, I can't think of the word that she used. Lord heaven. Oh, come help me. Um,

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basically it was just kind of like unlock that door. Like, let's just kick it off. Like

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just get it started. You know? Yes. Like just the discovery, you know,

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you just get that discovery date. Okay. Just kind of initial, like it's that, it's that like,

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and, um, transition you into dating. Like you just got to get started. Right.

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Doesn't have to be with, with your husband. I mean, she actually even tried to, and she,

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she, um, she encouraged me to go out with this date with this one guy that she,

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he was coming into our program. He kind of lived close to me.

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And she's like, and she was very forward with me. She's like, this isn't a love connection.

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She's like, this isn't your husband, but go on a date. You need to go on a date.

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So if you feel like you're just stuck and you're like, I haven't been on a date.

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Um, I'm discouraged because the guys I like, I'm not interested in this person.

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Just go out and enjoy the company of another person and getting to know someone that you,

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you, you don't really know much about. Okay. Take that to Holy spirit.

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Ask Holy Spirit, what is the hesitation?

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What's the discomfort, if there's discomfort in that?

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And allow God to speak to your heart about that

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and come share it with us, okay?

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Okay, moving on, all right?

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So that's that, a couple of housekeeping things.

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When you're replying in the app, okay?

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So you've made a post and maybe myself or Ebony

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has commented on your post, reply it to your post,

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don't reply to our comment.

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Does that make sense, okay?

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Because we don't get notified

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if you've replied to our comment.

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I didn't know that could be really frustrating.

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So like, I'll go and like get your comment

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and then I'll reply to you and ask some questions

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and I wanna know like your response to something

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and then you'll respond to me

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but you've replied to my comment

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and so it's kind of like it bullets underneath my comment.

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It doesn't notify me and doesn't show me.

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So I never, and then I have to go searching for it

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and I will miss so many replies that way.

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But if you create a new comment, yes, yes.

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So like a whole new comment instead of a reply,

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then I get notified as an admin on that post, okay?

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So if you do that, it just helps myself and Ebony

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get through all of those posts

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because the scrolling can be a challenge for us,

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it really is.

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And so like the last thing I wanna do

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is miss any of your posts

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because I know I have done that before

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and if that happens, if it's been more than

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like a day or two and you're waiting on a reply

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from a coach, post another comment,

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say, hey, I made a post and I've yet to hear from a coach,

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can you please go check on it?

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And then I can go search your name

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and go see if I can find it that way.

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Does that make sense?

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Okay, I wanna make sure that's clear.

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Myself and Ebony, we really do try,

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work together and work really hard

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to answer those posts the day that you're posting them

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or within like 12 to 24 hours.

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It doesn't always happen because my schedule

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and her schedule doesn't always line up.

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So she and I are maybe going in at the same time.

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And then we're not jumping in until later

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and I might think she's going in in the evening

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and she thinks I'm going in in the evening

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and it gets a little crazy.

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So we do work really hard at getting to those

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as best as we can.

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So just do know like,

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we're not trying to leave you hanging.

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We want to answer each and every one of you.

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We take that to heart.

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I know for myself, with every one of your posts,

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I spend time sitting with every single one of your posts,

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processing it with the Lord

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and really, really asking Holy Spirit to speak to me

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before I give a response to y'all.

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That's really important.

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I really want the Holy Spirit to speak through me to you.

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Okay, so just know and some of them,

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I need to sit longer with Holy Spirit.

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So if I don't get to it right away,

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just know I'm sitting with the Holy Spirit

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and I will get to it.

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Okay, because we care about you.

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We love you.

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We're here to serve you, okay?

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Last thing, Supernatural Saturdays.

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Super important to listen to those.

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This month, you're going to have to listen to them live

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because we are not recording them, okay?

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If you miss the live,

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go back and listen to old Supernatural recordings, okay?

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The last one that was recorded

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was I believe September 2nd.

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So if you haven't listened to that one, please do.

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It is Jackie talked a lot about the Sabbath and taking rest.

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And so that's what she's in the process of doing right now.

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And so that's kind of where we're at right now,

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just as a community,

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really wanting everyone to kind of rest

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in this word of Sabbath.

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And so I've been spending this entire week

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and the Lord has been really speaking to me on that,

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the word rest.

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And so...

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that's my activation even for you ladies this week is I really want you to just

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pray and meditate on the word rest and taking Sabbath even if it's just five

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minutes a day so I want yeah I just I want to encourage you ladies this week

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spend some extra time just spending time with the Lord rest in him

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just sit with him that's one thing that I don't I know I don't do enough of and

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the Lord really called that to my heart and I failed miserably yesterday y'all

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I told my husband on Sunday after church we do our church meets on Sunday nights

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I said I just really feel like the Lord's telling me I need to take a

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sabbatical for a week and I'm like I don't know how I'm gonna do it but I

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really just need to make sure that I am spending a significant amount of time

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quiet with the Lord and I really just felt like he wants me to just sit and

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journal I am an external processor I have to talk out loud I process a lot

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through my head and I felt like the Lord's like you need to just start

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getting your thoughts out on paper I want you to process with me because I

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have things to speak to you and you need to get it out on paper and I'm like

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I'm gonna do that this week I want to be obedient to God I told my husband this

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I told my kids this y'all I didn't do it at all yesterday and by the end of the

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day yesterday and when I woke up this morning I was exhausted and the Lord was

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like I'm not kidding you need to rest in me and I was like okay and then I

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remembered Jackie a couple weeks ago was talking about sabbatical and rest and

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I'm like we need to do that like that's a kid and I really feel like many of us

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especially with a lot of things that's going on it is more important now we

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really like it is important that we sit and rest with the Father right now

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there's a lot of noise going on and the enemy that is the author of confusion is

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going to be at work and the only way that we are going to sit in here clearly

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from the Lord is if we sit and rest in him

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so I really want you ladies just to sit on that this week share it with us what

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are you doing to rest this week okay

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so I'm just gonna take a minute and I'm gonna pray and then I'm gonna I see some

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people writing and then I'm gonna jump in and take your question sound good

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Heavenly Father thank you thank you for the gift of rest Lord I thank you for

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your presence I thank you that when we grow weary and tired that you are the

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base and the like the the presence that we can come to to rejuvenate to rest on

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to lean on that you can give us the supernatural energy you can fill us with

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your peace

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that we just give it all to you Lord let us hear let us hear from you God

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you

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Lord I just hear that you call us to sit in your love love

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I thank you for that gift I thank you that your word says not only do you love

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us Lord but you are love

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If we don't know what love is, we just have to go to you and you are love.

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Thank you for that reminder, Lord.

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I just encourage you, encourage us to sit with you, God.

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Encourage us to rest in that.

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Give us your peace and your hope when we feel discouraged, Lord.

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Fill us with your joy.

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Remind us that you're with us, you're for us.

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You're involved in our love stories.

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You've placed that desire in our heart because you have it for us.

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It's your promise.

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It's your divine plan for your children.

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The gift of family and community and marriage, Lord, I thank you for that gift.

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I thank you for this community that we have each other to link arms with.

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That we know we can press into you, Father, supernaturally and spiritually.

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You're there for us to press into, Lord, but you have gifted us each other here on

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earth to lean on as well.

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And I thank you for that, Lord.

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So today I ask that you just fill us with your presence, Lord.

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Be with us on this call.

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Lord, use me as a vessel and everyone on this call to speak your wisdom, your love, your

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peace, your joy, your patience, your kindness.

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Just release that over every single one of these ladies, every single one on the replay

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and every single one in this community.

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In your son, Jesus' name, amen.

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All right, ladies, give me your questions and I'm going to, as I get hands raised, I'm

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going to quickly scroll and see what questions I missed here.

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My mouth is so dry today, y'all.

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I'm so glad I have my water here.

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I wanted to check in with you and see if it was okay if I shared the title and author

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of the book that Jackie had posted about for rest, because I've read that book.

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Okay, hold on.

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Yeah.

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For some reason, my volume is down very low and I couldn't hear you.

306
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What was it that you want?

307
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Is it, did you post about it?

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Well, Jackie had posted about a book, like she has a cover of a book and so I mentioned

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it here, but I haven't posted the name or the author yet because I wanted to just-

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If it's a book that she has posted, then yes, you can.

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Okay, cool.

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Thank you.

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You're welcome.

314
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Thank you for asking though.

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Ladies, those of you that are new, it's important because we just don't have the bandwidth to

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be able to vet all the authors, speakers, pastors, ministries, influencers that when

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you're making posts in our community, whether it's on our app or here in the chat or on

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our live calls, to not promote or post any videos or websites linking any other authors,

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speakers and things like of that nature.

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Because again, we want to make sure that we're in alignment with what we teach here at Last

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Year Single, and we just don't have the capacity and the bandwidth to be able to vet everybody's

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libraries of material.

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Because there's a lot of people out there that have a lot of material and while something

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might be really good, once we dive into their library, it may be in disalignment with some

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things that we teach here that we believe is not in alignment with Bible teaching.

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If that makes sense.

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Because again, the enemy is always working to confuse, and believe it or not, the enemy

328
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will use, because guess what, the enemy actually knows the Word of God.

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So of course, he's going to try to manipulate the Word of God to confuse.

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I'm still trying to scroll here, it keeps going back and forth, okay, I understand,

331
00:25:12.040 --> 00:25:15.980
I wish that Supernatural was live as well, I totally get it.

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If you cannot get to the live call, just listen to old ones, you should have access to even

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maybe ones that were being recorded before you even came to the group.

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So, I even go back and listen to old ones and I'm like, oh my goodness, I heard something

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new that I didn't hear before, okay, it was about Sabbath rest, yep, oh, so you read that

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before, perfect, I love it, I love it, okay, yes, the rest of God, okay, perfect, I love

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it, thank you for sharing that, where in the Bible do we see that dating is a part of God's

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plan?

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That is a really good question, I don't know that, so I'm going to write that down and

340
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I will get back to you, I'm going to ask the team and see if anybody else knows, can you

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post that question in the app so that we have somewhere that we can answer that, I'm going

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to put that on there too.

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The first thing that comes to my mind is when, I know Paul talks about, is it Paul that talks

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about, or is it when Jesus is talking to the disciples about, yeah, I don't know, I don't

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want to say anymore because I do not know 100%, I am not one of those people that's

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a theologian, that is one area that I think God is going to grow me in, he's been slightly

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painting a seed for me to kind of get in depth and study the Bible, I'm not someone that is

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great at memorizing scripture, but I know that seed has been planted, but we have a lot of people

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on our team that are, so they are usually the people that I go to, and I know like Bethany

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is usually the one I know I can go to, Jackie's really good at that too, so awesome, yep,

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Audrey, you're the same way, perfect, I love it, so okay, I love that, I love that you're

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studying it too, super encouraging, so yes, post that in the app so that we can make sure

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that we go to our team and let's hope that we can get that answer, I'd be interested

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to know, so because that is really a good, that's a good question, and one for our community

355
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I think is going to be asked often, so it would be good to reference, awesome, perfect, perfect,

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okay, all right, I got three hands up, ladies don't be shy, okay, I'm going to go ahead and

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get started, we've got about 45 minutes to take questions, all right, so I got Stephanie first

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because I know she said she needed to ask her question, I got Alicia and then our girl Lori

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who had some amazing breakthrough last week, is it Alyssa, do you have, can you raise your

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avatar hand, okay, do that, was there, I know there was someone on the call last week that I didn't

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get to, are they here, I know there was like one or two people that I didn't get to last week,

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please, please, please, if we don't get to you one week and you show up the next week,

363
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:45.200
remind us when you get here so that we can get to you first, okay, because I never want to skip

364
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over you, all right, Stephanie, give me your question girl, hey Carla, thanks, I'm going to

365
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give you the question first and then that way you can ask me any questions that you need for,

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I guess, in order to guide me best, yes, I love that, so just for context, my question is about

367
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a guy that I've been kind of back and forth with for about four weeks now, okay, so my question is

368
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if I'm reacting to the situation out of my old wounds and my fear, are there legitimate

369
00:29:20.460 --> 00:29:28.020
signs that I should be concerned about, okay, so I want clarity on whether or not I'm forcing a

370
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connection, if I'm relying on like potential while ignoring evidence of what's actually there

371
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and how I should respond, okay, okay, so tell me what is happening, okay, so I met the guy on the

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app, he is, I'm in New York City and he's in like the Boston area, so we haven't actually met in

373
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person, we have had, okay, yeah, we have had like,

374
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:09.320
Um, I should say that, um, he speaks another language, one that I am semi

375
00:30:09.320 --> 00:30:13.380
fluent in, but it's been, it's been challenging in that way.

376
00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:17.640
So I'm, I'm completely fluent in English and Spanish.

377
00:30:17.800 --> 00:30:20.740
Several years ago, I also taught myself Brazilian Portuguese,

378
00:30:20.920 --> 00:30:21.780
which is what he speaks.

379
00:30:22.020 --> 00:30:22.420
He's Brazilian.

380
00:30:22.520 --> 00:30:22.640
Okay.

381
00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:23.660
So he speaks Portuguese.

382
00:30:23.800 --> 00:30:24.240
He's Brazilian.

383
00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:24.740
Okay.

384
00:30:24.740 --> 00:30:25.240
Got it.

385
00:30:25.900 --> 00:30:29.760
So we've been communicating mainly in Portuguese and Spanish.

386
00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:31.020
Okay.

387
00:30:32.260 --> 00:30:37.400
Um, so there's been a lot of like text involved just because it's easier for

388
00:30:37.400 --> 00:30:40.060
me to get out what I want to say that way.

389
00:30:40.260 --> 00:30:42.040
Have you done a video call?

390
00:30:42.680 --> 00:30:43.500
Yes, we did.

391
00:30:43.600 --> 00:30:44.000
Okay.

392
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.560
So he's like a real person.

393
00:30:45.700 --> 00:30:46.760
You're not being catfished.

394
00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:47.480
Right.

395
00:30:48.100 --> 00:30:49.140
Okay, good.

396
00:30:50.540 --> 00:30:55.660
So, um, early on, he was really, really quick to like engage and connect and,

397
00:30:55.660 --> 00:31:00.280
um, asked me to move from the Facebook dating to Instagram pretty quickly

398
00:31:00.280 --> 00:31:05.160
because on Instagram, you can do the voice notes, but then it just

399
00:31:05.160 --> 00:31:13.020
facilitated being able to, I guess, is there a way I, I am like old y'all

400
00:31:13.420 --> 00:31:18.960
believe it or not, I have an Instagram, but I'm never on it.

401
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:22.080
I have Facebook cause that was more my generation.

402
00:31:22.800 --> 00:31:29.920
Um, when you're on Instagram, can you still have being on Instagram and

403
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:33.780
connect and do the voice thing and not have them have access to all your stuff?

404
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:35.120
Yeah.

405
00:31:35.120 --> 00:31:35.520
Okay.

406
00:31:35.840 --> 00:31:36.460
You can't.

407
00:31:36.600 --> 00:31:39.860
And so originally, originally I was like, okay, that's fine.

408
00:31:39.880 --> 00:31:40.760
I'm mostly Instagram.

409
00:31:40.900 --> 00:31:44.260
And then he, he, his profile is public though.

410
00:31:44.260 --> 00:31:45.740
So I can see all his stuff.

411
00:31:46.660 --> 00:31:50.620
Then he asked to follow me request so that obviously he could see my profile.

412
00:31:50.620 --> 00:31:54.540
I was a little bit hesitant because in the past what's happened is that I feel

413
00:31:54.540 --> 00:31:58.140
like guys just start to lurk and they just kind of stay following you

414
00:31:58.140 --> 00:31:59.420
and then they don't really engage.

415
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:00.960
Okay.

416
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:05.400
So I said, you know, I, I'll accept your firm request, but I really want

417
00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:07.300
us to engage and have conversation.

418
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:10.200
And, and he stayed true to that.

419
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:10.720
We did.

420
00:32:11.060 --> 00:32:15.800
We engaged, I would say for about the first three days was are you, are you

421
00:32:15.800 --> 00:32:17.940
mindful of what you post on your social media?

422
00:32:18.340 --> 00:32:19.380
Yes, I am.

423
00:32:19.380 --> 00:32:25.340
So I'm not, I don't share often and I don't share too much.

424
00:32:25.460 --> 00:32:28.420
I'm very intentional about how I show up on social media.

425
00:32:29.620 --> 00:32:30.160
Okay.

426
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:30.580
Ladies.

427
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:34.860
The reason I'm asking that is because it is really important because, you know,

428
00:32:34.860 --> 00:32:37.580
again, I I'm all about safety in this community.

429
00:32:38.280 --> 00:32:38.900
All right.

430
00:32:39.040 --> 00:32:42.940
We live in times where we have to, we have to talk about it.

431
00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:47.940
It's not to scare any of you, especially like my like anxious

432
00:32:47.940 --> 00:32:49.740
ladies, all right.

433
00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:52.700
The ones that have all the walls up, like, I don't want this to

434
00:32:52.700 --> 00:32:54.980
keep to, for you to put more walls up.

435
00:32:55.300 --> 00:33:01.780
I'm saying it because we, we have to be cautious, but I don't like,

436
00:33:01.940 --> 00:33:03.340
again, remember we're God defended.

437
00:33:03.900 --> 00:33:04.420
Okay.

438
00:33:04.800 --> 00:33:05.240
Keep going.

439
00:33:05.520 --> 00:33:05.880
Sorry, Stephanie.

440
00:33:08.060 --> 00:33:08.400
Okay.

441
00:33:09.120 --> 00:33:14.480
So, um, what I started to notice was just a pattern of like kind of hot and cold,

442
00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:19.660
like you can engage some days and then I wouldn't hear from him for a while,

443
00:33:19.800 --> 00:33:24.020
which I recognize is fairly normal for somebody that you don't know that well.

444
00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:29.720
But then I started to feel like when he did engage, it wasn't necessarily

445
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:32.360
like pushing anything forward.

446
00:33:33.460 --> 00:33:34.020
Okay.

447
00:33:34.020 --> 00:33:34.500
What do you mean?

448
00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:42.740
Meaning like, I felt like there wasn't a whole lot of get to know you kind of thing.

449
00:33:42.740 --> 00:33:47.640
And so I think one of the things I mentioned in my post is that I was starting to, I

450
00:33:47.640 --> 00:33:53.120
was being triggered by insecurity because I thought, Oh, I put something up or he

451
00:33:53.120 --> 00:33:57.700
must've seen something on my page or it wasn't interesting enough or, you know,

452
00:33:57.700 --> 00:34:02.460
and I've been sitting with those things and I've been going back to, to my healing

453
00:34:02.460 --> 00:34:04.660
about the lies that I believed in those things.

454
00:34:05.020 --> 00:34:06.280
So that's been helpful.

455
00:34:06.360 --> 00:34:09.659
I've been learning how to be like, this has nothing to do with me.

456
00:34:09.659 --> 00:34:14.659
I don't have to, what you said to me the last time that God wouldn't make me earn

457
00:34:14.659 --> 00:34:18.540
my husband was really impactful for me.

458
00:34:18.620 --> 00:34:20.239
And so I'm sitting with that.

459
00:34:20.280 --> 00:34:22.320
And so I'm letting go of that.

460
00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:28.780
You know, I, I feel that because he's like a super poster, maybe I have a more

461
00:34:30.260 --> 00:34:34.580
general idea, at least of what he portrays himself to be on social media.

462
00:34:34.940 --> 00:34:35.420
Right.

463
00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:37.699
I can't say that that's who he is for real.

464
00:34:38.860 --> 00:34:44.360
But maybe there aren't a lot of things that he can find out about me because I'm

465
00:34:44.360 --> 00:34:51.020
not, I'm, I don't overshare, like I don't put my whole life on display.

466
00:34:51.520 --> 00:34:55.800
So a lot of the things that I think are super interesting about me are maybe not

467
00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:57.320
necessarily apparent on my social media.

468
00:34:58.020 --> 00:34:58.400
Okay.

469
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:09.420
So, I just keep going. I wrote down what I feel like Holy Spirit wants me to share, but keep going.

470
00:35:09.600 --> 00:35:21.960
Okay. So just to get right to it, there did come a point where I felt I did. I originally had invited him to have a video chat and he ignored me for three days.

471
00:35:22.460 --> 00:35:25.880
Okay. He just straight up didn't answer the question.

472
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:26.220
Okay.

473
00:35:26.780 --> 00:35:41.080
And so then when he showed back up, I kind of was just like, kind of playful about it. Like, oh, I was about to light a candle for you. I thought, you know, you join the ghost population, you know, just kind of a little.

474
00:35:42.100 --> 00:35:42.100


475
00:35:42.680 --> 00:35:48.680
I was trying to like point it out and not be annoying about it.

476
00:35:49.140 --> 00:35:51.860
Oh, I'm alive and well, you know, I'm like, oh, well since you're alive.

477
00:35:51.860 --> 00:35:55.860
It's like a little flirty, but you're like calling out in a little flirty way. I love it.

478
00:35:55.680 --> 00:36:01.300
Yeah. So it was more of like, oh, well now that I know that you're alive, how about that chat?

479
00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:02.880
Yeah.

480
00:36:03.280 --> 00:36:12.040
And he did. He did. He responded and he was like, yes, I'm on my way to do this. I'm going to call you. And sure enough, he called me within the hour, but then he called me.

481
00:36:12.680 --> 00:36:22.680
Like we didn't really schedule anything. He just kind of called me and I was in the car on my way out to work. He was driving, which I felt weird about because I'm like, I don't understand.

482
00:36:24.620 --> 00:36:25.580
Like, anyway.

483
00:36:26.660 --> 00:36:26.960
Okay.

484
00:36:27.720 --> 00:36:36.740
In the conversation, we had a great conversation and I did make it a point to say, hey, look, I really like when a guy takes initiative. I don't want to be the leader here.

485
00:36:37.060 --> 00:36:48.800
You know, like, I would really like for us to schedule what I said. And one of the things I said is like, do you have like any questions? Is there anything you want to know about? And he was just like, when can I meet you in person?

486
00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:51.040
Like he's really been pushing this.

487
00:36:51.680 --> 00:36:53.140
We need to meet in person.

488
00:36:54.140 --> 00:37:02.700
And I don't know in what other language I can say, I'm all for that, sir. Let's do this.

489
00:37:03.240 --> 00:37:05.140
Put it in motion.

490
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:11.540
It just, it just.

491
00:37:11.760 --> 00:37:12.520
Okay.

492
00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:16.200
I got I got some stuff here. All right.

493
00:37:17.140 --> 00:37:24.200
First thing I feel like God really like Holy Spirit is speaking to me to let you ladies know.

494
00:37:25.040 --> 00:37:29.760
Because y'all we live in a different time. Like, yeah, I'm 42 years old.

495
00:37:30.780 --> 00:37:37.600
When I was like a teenager in my 20s, like, social media, like, social media was just coming out.

496
00:37:38.460 --> 00:37:43.280
When I, like, was entering high school and coming out of high school entering college. Okay.

497
00:37:44.280 --> 00:37:52.520
So this whole social media, like lifestyle, online dating stuff, it's really only like a couple decades old.

498
00:37:53.460 --> 00:38:01.000
Okay. So I was like, kind of like, my age, again, is.

499
00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:04.540
It's not the way that I was brought up.

500
00:38:04.540 --> 00:38:13.220
Let's just say, and so I had to kind of get to figure it out. Like, I was like the first generation to have to figure that out, if that makes sense.

501
00:38:13.580 --> 00:38:13.880
Okay.

502
00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:18.020
And so it's still fairly new.

503
00:38:19.640 --> 00:38:27.960
And I just really feel like Holy Spirit is really wanting me to, like, share this with you ladies to remind you.

504
00:38:28.200 --> 00:38:31.800
Social media is not how you get to know somebody.

505
00:38:33.540 --> 00:38:34.860
Keep that in mind.

506
00:38:37.500 --> 00:38:41.800
It's not how you're going to get to know somebody. It's not how someone's going to get to know you.

507
00:38:45.380 --> 00:38:49.500
Social media is a way that maybe people can connect to you.

508
00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:50.540
Okay.

509
00:38:53.580 --> 00:38:56.920
When, when social media came out for us, like, you had to be in college.

510
00:38:58.020 --> 00:39:00.240
Facebook, you had to have a college email account.

511
00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:14.080
And we used it to be connected with, I mean, honestly, we used it to stay connected to our friends from high school that were at different colleges.

512
00:39:16.540 --> 00:39:29.260
And like, honestly, like, you use it for, like, we were using it for, to stay connected from people that we knew in person that we didn't have, like, that we weren't close in proximity to.

513
00:39:29.260 --> 00:39:44.460
Now, in the 20 some odd years that it's come out, like, what, been like 20, almost 25 years, probably, we're connecting to people.

514
00:39:44.660 --> 00:39:47.680
We have absolutely no idea who they are and if they're a real person.

515
00:39:50.420 --> 00:39:50.940
Okay.

516
00:39:51.220 --> 00:39:55.120
So I just really want, I don't know who this is for.

517
00:39:55.900 --> 00:39:59.980
I just want you ladies to keep in mind, social media is.

518
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.840
not how you get to know someone.

519
00:40:02.080 --> 00:40:05.700
You cannot judge or get to know somebody

520
00:40:05.700 --> 00:40:08.620
based on what they post in their social media.

521
00:40:11.180 --> 00:40:13.600
I agree, which is why I was pushing like,

522
00:40:13.780 --> 00:40:15.300
hey, we need to have a conversation.

523
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:16.880
Exactly.

524
00:40:19.240 --> 00:40:21.560
So, then there was another thing that you said.

525
00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:24.740
And this again, it reminds me,

526
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:26.140
we're living in different times.

527
00:40:26.140 --> 00:40:29.720
Like the, him just calling you randomly

528
00:40:30.820 --> 00:40:32.320
and there was no plan.

529
00:40:33.620 --> 00:40:36.480
Y'all, I remember back when I was like,

530
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:37.540
junior high and high school,

531
00:40:38.720 --> 00:40:42.500
you never planned to call your friends.

532
00:40:43.940 --> 00:40:50.220
The phone rang and then someone in your house answered.

533
00:40:50.740 --> 00:40:52.400
And if you had a sibling,

534
00:40:52.540 --> 00:40:54.120
you didn't want your sibling to answer

535
00:40:54.120 --> 00:40:55.680
because it was probably for you

536
00:40:55.680 --> 00:40:58.500
and you didn't want your sibling answering the phone,

537
00:40:58.840 --> 00:41:00.500
especially if it was a boy,

538
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:04.700
because they'd make it known to the whole house.

539
00:41:05.900 --> 00:41:08.660
Carla's got a boy calling her.

540
00:41:11.080 --> 00:41:12.860
There was no plan.

541
00:41:15.120 --> 00:41:16.960
People were more spontaneous.

542
00:41:17.620 --> 00:41:19.400
People just, if they felt like,

543
00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:22.380
oh, I'm thinking about this person, I'm gonna call him.

544
00:41:22.380 --> 00:41:24.400
I know, but if you're gonna have

545
00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:26.700
like a video chat with somebody, like.

546
00:41:27.100 --> 00:41:30.100
Video chat, I get, okay, video chat, I get.

547
00:41:31.320 --> 00:41:34.020
But it's okay if he's just like, I'm gonna call you.

548
00:41:34.180 --> 00:41:36.260
But if it's a, but this is another thing.

549
00:41:36.380 --> 00:41:38.100
So, here's another thing

550
00:41:38.280 --> 00:41:40.460
that we coach here at Last Year Single.

551
00:41:41.200 --> 00:41:44.080
You never know when you're out and about

552
00:41:44.080 --> 00:41:45.340
who you're gonna meet.

553
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:50.260
Get yourself ready every single day.

554
00:41:51.260 --> 00:41:52.760
And I'm not saying it from a place

555
00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:54.500
that you have to look a certain way,

556
00:41:54.560 --> 00:41:58.500
but there's something that gets ignited in you

557
00:42:00.980 --> 00:42:06.060
when you get up and you just put on,

558
00:42:06.540 --> 00:42:09.780
brush your hair, brush teeth, right?

559
00:42:10.380 --> 00:42:11.620
There are some days

560
00:42:11.620 --> 00:42:14.160
when I just don't feel great about myself

561
00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:16.260
that I won't even brush my teeth, y'all.

562
00:42:17.100 --> 00:42:19.220
And I'm not feeling good that day.

563
00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:21.200
And everybody around me knows

564
00:42:21.200 --> 00:42:22.340
I'm not feeling good about my day

565
00:42:22.340 --> 00:42:24.560
because they can smell I don't feel good about my day

566
00:42:24.560 --> 00:42:28.020
because they can smell my breath, all right?

567
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:31.340
But there's just something about just getting up,

568
00:42:31.440 --> 00:42:35.260
brushing your hair, putting a little makeup on,

569
00:42:35.880 --> 00:42:42.060
combing your hair out, always be ready to,

570
00:42:42.060 --> 00:42:43.840
look at this fly flying around my face,

571
00:42:45.420 --> 00:42:46.820
to somewhat be presentable.

572
00:42:46.840 --> 00:42:49.000
And you don't have to look like on point,

573
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:51.860
glamor shots, right?

574
00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:56.080
We're not like Miss America pageant going on here, okay?

575
00:42:56.700 --> 00:42:57.480
And believe it or not,

576
00:42:59.580 --> 00:43:02.420
when I first connected with my husband,

577
00:43:04.860 --> 00:43:09.580
he saw pictures like of me from my social media account

578
00:43:09.580 --> 00:43:13.620
and stuff like that, like profile pictures and stuff.

579
00:43:14.520 --> 00:43:18.980
But I was sick and didn't want to talk on the phone.

580
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:21.340
Or have a video call because I wasn't well.

581
00:43:21.680 --> 00:43:23.080
He still wanted me to send a picture.

582
00:43:23.680 --> 00:43:26.120
And I'm like, I don't wanna send you a picture, I'm sick.

583
00:43:27.060 --> 00:43:28.840
He's like, no, just send me a picture right now

584
00:43:28.840 --> 00:43:29.620
of what you look like.

585
00:43:29.740 --> 00:43:31.460
Y'all that like, for some of y'all,

586
00:43:31.580 --> 00:43:33.040
like you'd be like, absolutely not.

587
00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:37.400
I would be getting messages on the app.

588
00:43:37.420 --> 00:43:38.220
Like, oh my goodness,

589
00:43:38.220 --> 00:43:40.320
I can't believe this man wants a picture of me.

590
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:43.340
Like, that's absolutely a red flag.

591
00:43:45.420 --> 00:43:48.540
Trust me, I've been coaching for over a year,

592
00:43:48.540 --> 00:43:50.540
about a year and a half, almost two years now,

593
00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:53.180
that post comes up.

594
00:43:54.500 --> 00:43:56.720
Not a lot, but it comes up.

595
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:00.140
And I was like, oh my gosh, you gotta be kidding me.

596
00:44:00.180 --> 00:44:01.240
And so, but I did.

597
00:44:01.440 --> 00:44:03.080
I had no makeup on.

598
00:44:03.660 --> 00:44:06.820
I don't think I showered in days because I was not well.

599
00:44:07.580 --> 00:44:09.400
I had my glasses on.

600
00:44:10.700 --> 00:44:12.220
And I just snapped a picture.

601
00:44:12.720 --> 00:44:14.300
My husband to this day tells me

602
00:44:14.300 --> 00:44:15.840
it was one of his favorite pictures of me.

603
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:17.880
Okay.

604
00:44:19.280 --> 00:44:21.940
So don't think that we have to be like dressed to the nines

605
00:44:21.940 --> 00:44:23.520
or like absolutely perfect.

606
00:44:23.540 --> 00:44:26.160
Like your husband is going to find you beautiful

607
00:44:26.160 --> 00:44:28.340
no matter how you look.

608
00:44:29.460 --> 00:44:32.440
Because y'all, we don't fall in love with the outside.

609
00:44:32.900 --> 00:44:34.740
We fall in love with this in here.

610
00:44:36.580 --> 00:44:37.660
I promise you,

611
00:44:39.140 --> 00:44:42.600
you're going to love your husband for his heart first.

612
00:44:44.180 --> 00:44:45.820
You will be attracted to him.

613
00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:46.740
You're going to be attracted to this,

614
00:44:48.240 --> 00:44:50.960
but this in here is going to be more attractive.

615
00:44:52.740 --> 00:44:52.860
Okay.

616
00:44:54.440 --> 00:44:57.840
So I get the whole, like, it's frustrating.

617
00:44:58.200 --> 00:44:59.980
Like not, okay.

618
00:45:01.120 --> 00:45:06.880
And it's weird, but I want to challenge you ladies to kind of spend time with the lower

619
00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:10.840
processing like where is this like need to have this schedule?

620
00:45:11.180 --> 00:45:13.440
You know, I say this as a planner.

621
00:45:14.140 --> 00:45:15.860
My husband is not a planner.

622
00:45:16.100 --> 00:45:16.640
I am.

623
00:45:16.880 --> 00:45:18.260
It can drive me bonkers.

624
00:45:19.060 --> 00:45:22.380
Okay, there's a lot of balance that happens in our marriage.

625
00:45:22.380 --> 00:45:29.000
A lot of compromise because I need a plan and he is just not.

626
00:45:30.680 --> 00:45:33.940
It's we're complementary opposites in that whole sense.

627
00:45:34.780 --> 00:45:40.080
But I do want you ladies to don't hesitate to challenge yourself with that.

628
00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:44.040
I love yes, I agree with you with the guy leading.

629
00:45:45.980 --> 00:45:49.260
But we don't want to be so rigid that we're not reciprocating.

630
00:45:49.260 --> 00:45:58.820
Okay, it's okay to drop the hanky about meeting in person.

631
00:45:59.140 --> 00:46:01.920
So I guess that's where I'm stuck though.

632
00:46:01.980 --> 00:46:06.740
It's just like, am I still dropping the hanky or is this guy expecting me to do the heavy

633
00:46:06.740 --> 00:46:07.000
lifting?

634
00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:13.300
So I will say that after like a lot of hot and cold back and forth, I finally was like,

635
00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:17.980
hey, you know, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, you know, you seem like all these

636
00:46:17.980 --> 00:46:21.260
things, but you are also confusing, like you're confusing.

637
00:46:21.940 --> 00:46:22.380
Yeah.

638
00:46:22.420 --> 00:46:26.980
And I said, I don't know if it's if you're aware or if you just don't, don't realize.

639
00:46:27.500 --> 00:46:33.580
And he was, you know, he did say, you know, to be very honest, I think it's because of

640
00:46:33.580 --> 00:46:34.120
the distance.

641
00:46:34.120 --> 00:46:38.660
Like, I don't really know how to engage long distance.

642
00:46:38.720 --> 00:46:41.860
That's why it's you guys been doing this four weeks.

643
00:46:43.080 --> 00:46:43.600
Yeah.

644
00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:44.700
Long distance.

645
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:50.700
We really encourage that you get an in-person within three, three, so at the end of that

646
00:46:51.600 --> 00:46:54.140
conversation, it's like, I just need clarity here.

647
00:46:54.140 --> 00:46:56.060
Like, do you want to get to know me or not?

648
00:46:56.060 --> 00:46:57.620
Like, and he's like, I do.

649
00:46:57.660 --> 00:46:58.580
I want to get to know.

650
00:46:59.100 --> 00:46:59.140
Okay.

651
00:46:59.140 --> 00:47:02.640
So then that's when you'd be like, okay, do you want to meet me in person or not?

652
00:47:02.640 --> 00:47:02.640


653
00:47:02.640 --> 00:47:03.540
And he said, I do.

654
00:47:03.660 --> 00:47:06.220
And he actually said, I'll, I'll, I'll go to you.

655
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:07.340
And I said, okay, perfect.

656
00:47:07.700 --> 00:47:08.400
When are you free?

657
00:47:10.980 --> 00:47:12.440
Then that's when you just be like, awesome.

658
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:13.520
When are you free?

659
00:47:15.260 --> 00:47:15.860
I'm sorry.

660
00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:21.620
There's literally a lab keeper blowing his vacuum at my car.

661
00:47:23.560 --> 00:47:23.960
Okay.

662
00:47:25.060 --> 00:47:25.540
Anyway.

663
00:47:26.340 --> 00:47:26.580
Yeah.

664
00:47:26.580 --> 00:47:28.160
I would, I would say definitely.

665
00:47:28.180 --> 00:47:29.840
Now he does have, he has a son.

666
00:47:29.920 --> 00:47:34.420
So he said to me, look, I can't give you a date right now because I need to figure out

667
00:47:34.420 --> 00:47:39.420
what to do with my son, but I would like, you know, just, I think that I would go and

668
00:47:39.420 --> 00:47:43.240
I would probably go for, you know, from one day to the next.

669
00:47:43.320 --> 00:47:46.320
So can you tell me where I can find a hotel to stay?

670
00:47:46.600 --> 00:47:49.120
Like give me a general area in the general area.

671
00:47:49.160 --> 00:47:49.640
Okay.

672
00:47:50.160 --> 00:47:50.600
Yeah.

673
00:47:50.600 --> 00:47:51.480
I think that's great.

674
00:47:51.680 --> 00:47:53.360
I was like, okay, that's fine.

675
00:47:54.540 --> 00:48:00.700
But we're sitting on nearly a week of that conversation and I still haven't heard a thing.

676
00:48:00.920 --> 00:48:08.620
He also hasn't like, like, okay, so you put it out there.

677
00:48:08.620 --> 00:48:15.100
You've told him like, Hey, this is the area you've, you've, you've opened the door that

678
00:48:15.100 --> 00:48:16.220
yes, you want to meet in person.

679
00:48:16.220 --> 00:48:17.880
You've told him, Hey, this is the area.

680
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:24.720
So when you're ready, let me know at this point, you don't need to engage as much anymore.

681
00:48:25.220 --> 00:48:26.820
Are you, let me ask you this.

682
00:48:26.820 --> 00:48:29.240
Are you the one reaching out to him first?

683
00:48:30.300 --> 00:48:30.760
No.

684
00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:31.380
Okay.

685
00:48:32.300 --> 00:48:32.760
Yeah.

686
00:48:32.760 --> 00:48:38.660
So, um, I say, you know, let him reach out to you, engage with them that way.

687
00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:41.700
Occasionally, if you don't hear from him for a day or two, then you can maybe, if you feel

688
00:48:41.700 --> 00:48:44.000
led to just reach out to him, do that.

689
00:48:44.160 --> 00:48:46.160
Don't put all your eggs in this basket.

690
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:51.400
This is why ladies, we encourage you just to continue to keep getting to know people.

691
00:48:51.440 --> 00:48:57.040
This is like, y'all are still in this, like level one, slightly in this level two, cause

692
00:48:57.460 --> 00:48:59.620
just kind of had a video date here.

693
00:49:00.420 --> 00:49:03.060
You're still in this like level one, level two, early stages.

694
00:49:03.180 --> 00:49:05.620
You're still out there getting to know other people.

695
00:49:06.020 --> 00:49:07.700
You're not putting your eggs all in this one basket.

696
00:49:07.840 --> 00:49:13.000
You're not anticipating and waiting out for this in-person date with this person.

697
00:49:13.280 --> 00:49:15.440
If it happens, awesome.

698
00:49:15.560 --> 00:49:16.720
Let's see where it goes.

699
00:49:17.220 --> 00:49:18.380
Let's get to know him.

700
00:49:18.740 --> 00:49:20.120
Let's see what I learned about him.

701
00:49:20.180 --> 00:49:21.660
Let's see what I learned about myself.

702
00:49:22.620 --> 00:49:26.000
If it doesn't happen, no worries.

703
00:49:26.180 --> 00:49:28.140
I'm learning some things about myself.

704
00:49:28.740 --> 00:49:32.560
I'm learning how to, that I don't have to earn my husband.

705
00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:34.820
I don't have to look a certain way.

706
00:49:34.860 --> 00:49:36.900
He's going to fall in love me for who I am.

707
00:49:37.060 --> 00:49:41.300
I'm learning that, you know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to get to know somebody

708
00:49:41.300 --> 00:49:42.700
based on their social media.

709
00:49:42.820 --> 00:49:46.720
I'm learning that, you know, someone's not going to just get to know me from social media.

710
00:49:46.720 --> 00:49:48.460
They're going to genuinely want to get to know me.

711
00:49:48.460 --> 00:49:52.260
You're learning all of these things through this one interaction with this one person.

712
00:49:52.260 --> 00:49:53.620
So it's not being wasted.

713
00:49:53.620 --> 00:49:58.960
But I guess that's where I'm stuck, where I'm like, is, is this person showing me that

714
00:49:58.960 --> 00:49:59.980
they don't really want to?

715
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.240
really take initiative? Is this person showing me that they aren't really interested in me?

716
00:50:04.500 --> 00:50:12.700
I just don't know if I made the wrong expectation. Like, I don't. Well, that's where, again,

717
00:50:12.740 --> 00:50:17.920
this is where are, are you, are you wanting to see too much potential and you're putting

718
00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:28.020
too much expect, like expectation on what the outcome of this is? I just don't know

719
00:50:28.020 --> 00:50:37.960
if I am like, I don't know if I'm like, is this a part, like, is this person showing

720
00:50:37.960 --> 00:50:42.720
me that they're just kind of hesitant? They're not really, you're not really going to know

721
00:50:42.720 --> 00:50:47.420
that probably until you meet in person. Okay. Person. I just don't know if it's something

722
00:50:47.420 --> 00:50:51.260
that I'm like, Ooh, this guy's giving you all kinds of red flags that you're not even

723
00:50:51.260 --> 00:50:57.580
paying attention to. It's really hard to say until you have it in person. Yeah. It's really

724
00:50:57.580 --> 00:51:07.980
in person. Well, once you have the in person, let's come back and we'll process that. Like

725
00:51:07.980 --> 00:51:13.540
I want to know what happened on the date. What kinds of things did you do? Um, what

726
00:51:13.540 --> 00:51:18.180
was the interaction, all of that kind of stuff. Oh, I think Alyssa had to jump off. I'm going

727
00:51:18.180 --> 00:51:24.080
to, I hope she posts on that app. Um, of that nature, like, then we're going to want to

728
00:51:24.080 --> 00:51:28.820
see that. Okay. Okay. Like, again, let's just don't put the cart before the horse.

729
00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:33.960
Let's just take it one step at a time. Okay. Okay. So just do, I don't engage until he's

730
00:51:33.960 --> 00:51:38.700
like, Hey, I'm ready to do this now. Or, yeah, I mean, I mean, and if you feel like, like,

731
00:51:38.700 --> 00:51:41.500
Hey, you want to check in? Like, Hey, how's, how's it going? Whatever you want to kind

732
00:51:41.500 --> 00:51:45.640
of keep touching base. Cause again, you're, you're just getting to know him. I mean, do

733
00:51:45.640 --> 00:51:50.320
you all ever ask any, like, get to know you questions? He doesn't. That's why I'm like,

734
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:54.900
I don't know. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I think at this point, you just kind of need

735
00:51:54.900 --> 00:52:00.820
to see, like, you put it out there, see if he takes the lead. If not, I mean, you need

736
00:52:00.820 --> 00:52:06.560
to get out and be looking and, and getting to know other people right now. You've put

737
00:52:06.560 --> 00:52:11.080
it out there. You let them know, Hey, this is the area. If you want to come meet me,

738
00:52:11.620 --> 00:52:14.820
he's going to have to communicate when it works best for him because he's got a son.

739
00:52:15.820 --> 00:52:20.680
I mean, at the end of the day, if he's got a son, how, how's the long distance relationship

740
00:52:20.680 --> 00:52:31.100
going to work? I mean, are you able to go there? Yeah, it's not that far away, but again,

741
00:52:31.120 --> 00:52:37.860
yeah, I would just let him kind of take that lead there. You've put it out there. I think

742
00:52:37.860 --> 00:52:42.480
you're learning a lot of really good things in this process. So I don't want you to don't,

743
00:52:42.480 --> 00:52:48.340
don't sit in the frustration part, focus on what you're getting out of this situation.

744
00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:54.380
Ladies, that goes for everybody and all these dating experience sit with what, what is God

745
00:52:54.380 --> 00:52:59.600
revealing to you? What are you, what positive things are you gleaning from this season and

746
00:52:59.600 --> 00:53:06.040
with these interactions? Okay. Okay. Thank you. We're in, we're here with you. We got

747
00:53:06.040 --> 00:53:15.660
you. Thank you. You are welcome. Lori, how are you doing? I feel so bad. I like the two

748
00:53:15.660 --> 00:53:19.940
ladies that had their hands up. I can't remember. I know one was Alyssa I think, and I know

749
00:53:19.940 --> 00:53:23.640
I don't see her on now and I can't remember who the other person was. I think the other

750
00:53:23.640 --> 00:53:31.680
one was Alicia. She said she had to go, but maybe she'll pop back on. Okay. Alicia, if

751
00:53:31.680 --> 00:53:36.700
I'm going to let Lori go and if you're still on, we'll take you. If not, I apologize. Or

752
00:53:36.700 --> 00:53:42.620
she's, I don't know if she's here. He actually said she had to go. He had to go. Okay. Yeah.

753
00:53:43.580 --> 00:53:49.860
All right. I'm going to get better next week. Y'all I promise. Y'all have to hold me accountable,

754
00:53:52.080 --> 00:54:00.080
please. Promise. Y'all hold me accountable. I learned so much through everybody's sharing.

755
00:54:00.080 --> 00:54:06.400
Like I, it's like, well, that's what I love because it's through y'all's shares.

756
00:54:07.040 --> 00:54:12.440
There's things that we can glean from it. Like that was like, we, we talked about the safety

757
00:54:12.680 --> 00:54:17.680
stuff, not, not learning things from, you know, people's social media, like God,

758
00:54:18.620 --> 00:54:25.360
God's work through every single person's share. Like, you know, that wasn't exactly her question,

759
00:54:25.360 --> 00:54:31.620
but God used something that, you know, he used something that she said to speak

760
00:54:32.440 --> 00:54:36.180
wisdom to everybody here. And I guarantee you, it spoke something to somebody.

761
00:54:38.460 --> 00:54:45.220
So don't ever hesitate and think that your question is not going to be teachable or as silly

762
00:54:45.860 --> 00:54:52.180
because y'all I can, I can teach clearly. Y'all just saw, I mean, one person talks and I feel

763
00:54:52.180 --> 00:54:59.980
like I taught, taught several topics on one share. Yeah. All right. I'm a, I.

764
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.920
I literally, I'm a teacher at heart.

765
00:55:03.460 --> 00:55:05.100
It was my first career.

766
00:55:06.980 --> 00:55:09.420
All right, Lori, what do you have for us?

767
00:55:10.240 --> 00:55:13.980
Yeah, so I'm standing.

768
00:55:15.800 --> 00:55:16.540
Girl, you are.

769
00:55:16.880 --> 00:55:20.540
That's the lesson that like, it was so cool

770
00:55:20.540 --> 00:55:23.520
because like I'm learning also to trust

771
00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:26.020
that I'm hearing God's voice.

772
00:55:26.380 --> 00:55:28.640
And so when he said, just stand,

773
00:55:28.640 --> 00:55:33.340
and then Chris Vallotton posted a couple days later,

774
00:55:33.860 --> 00:55:37.440
just stand, but it's actually a book that he has coming out.

775
00:55:38.140 --> 00:55:42.360
And that was just like, it's just like,

776
00:55:42.360 --> 00:55:44.340
when we hear the Lord's voice,

777
00:55:45.640 --> 00:55:48.340
like he speaks to me of like, you know,

778
00:55:48.340 --> 00:55:51.520
like I ask him, what promise do you want me to declare?

779
00:55:52.380 --> 00:55:54.240
What promise, what verse do you want me

780
00:55:54.240 --> 00:55:55.420
to declare over my life?

781
00:55:55.420 --> 00:55:56.820
Like my heart is really hurting.

782
00:55:57.580 --> 00:56:00.260
And he'll just say, declare my faithfulness.

783
00:56:00.460 --> 00:56:01.520
And I just broke down.

784
00:56:01.640 --> 00:56:05.540
And this was like earlier on with this other guy

785
00:56:05.540 --> 00:56:08.020
that I was like crazy over.

786
00:56:09.600 --> 00:56:13.620
That super masculine guy, like he was a whole new,

787
00:56:13.660 --> 00:56:17.280
like bearded, like whole new thing.

788
00:56:17.400 --> 00:56:21.460
I'm like, oh my gosh, I just went crazy.

789
00:56:22.020 --> 00:56:23.940
I mean, I didn't actually go crazy.

790
00:56:23.940 --> 00:56:26.860
My like, I got excited, crazy, but yeah.

791
00:56:28.060 --> 00:56:29.640
Anyway, so yeah.

792
00:56:29.720 --> 00:56:33.580
Like, so it's just like, I feel like there's like,

793
00:56:33.580 --> 00:56:35.700
the Lord can speak just two words

794
00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:38.560
and it'll just like wreck me because it's,

795
00:56:38.980 --> 00:56:41.180
he knows like what our heart, I'm like,

796
00:56:41.200 --> 00:56:44.500
oh, I needed to know that you're here

797
00:56:44.820 --> 00:56:46.980
and you're going to be faithful.

798
00:56:47.480 --> 00:56:51.920
Well, so anyway, like last week was super intense

799
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:53.060
for all of us.

800
00:56:53.220 --> 00:56:57.040
And so it was like, just experienced a lot of grief

801
00:56:57.640 --> 00:57:00.360
from that, like in the spirit realm,

802
00:57:00.420 --> 00:57:04.920
but then also grieving like the, it's like Jackie says,

803
00:57:04.940 --> 00:57:06.940
it was letting go of an illusion.

804
00:57:07.660 --> 00:57:10.280
Like, it's not really real, so you don't have to grieve it.

805
00:57:10.780 --> 00:57:15.400
So I tried not to stay there for too long, but I did.

806
00:57:15.940 --> 00:57:21.900
I mean, it took me a few days to just like let it go.

807
00:57:21.920 --> 00:57:23.840
But it, just totally let it go.

808
00:57:25.400 --> 00:57:29.240
So anyway, my hand raised this time

809
00:57:29.240 --> 00:57:34.640
is because I have been going back to a beach that is,

810
00:57:34.860 --> 00:57:39.260
so I moved from California to Michigan, like last March.

811
00:57:41.120 --> 00:57:46.880
I shared some more of my story in the wind section,

812
00:57:47.640 --> 00:57:50.620
but long story short was that like,

813
00:57:50.620 --> 00:57:54.000
so like I've been going to a beach that's like south of here

814
00:57:54.080 --> 00:57:56.000
because I've, you know, going through the hard work

815
00:57:56.000 --> 00:57:57.940
and all that, I really just wanted to go to the beach

816
00:57:57.940 --> 00:57:59.960
and I didn't, I wanted privacy.

817
00:58:00.280 --> 00:58:02.360
So I didn't go to a beach here,

818
00:58:02.360 --> 00:58:03.820
which is like 20 minutes south.

819
00:58:03.980 --> 00:58:07.460
So I've been going to this beach that is where,

820
00:58:08.300 --> 00:58:09.760
it's like I've been living in Holland

821
00:58:10.800 --> 00:58:13.280
where we raised our boys and,

822
00:58:13.780 --> 00:58:15.720
but I've like not been living in Holland.

823
00:58:15.780 --> 00:58:17.720
Like I've been going to the beach down in Saugatuck

824
00:58:17.720 --> 00:58:19.320
and going to church over in Grand Rapids.

825
00:58:19.320 --> 00:58:21.020
So this was just like my,

826
00:58:22.300 --> 00:58:26.340
kind of like my faith step of living here.

827
00:58:27.640 --> 00:58:27.640


828
00:58:27.640 --> 00:58:28.060
What?

829
00:58:28.360 --> 00:58:29.620
You're like getting new scenery.

830
00:58:31.160 --> 00:58:31.600
Getting what?

831
00:58:31.960 --> 00:58:32.740
New scenery.

832
00:58:33.840 --> 00:58:34.320
Yeah.

833
00:58:34.720 --> 00:58:35.720
Yeah, okay.

834
00:58:35.720 --> 00:58:39.700
But I'm going, stepping back into places,

835
00:58:39.780 --> 00:58:42.620
like I've been going to the beach this whole last week.

836
00:58:43.520 --> 00:58:45.360
We're having like a Michigan summer,

837
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:46.680
so it's really nice here.

838
00:58:47.220 --> 00:58:49.500
And so just soaking that in.

839
00:58:50.100 --> 00:58:52.040
And I went back to this beach,

840
00:58:52.160 --> 00:58:56.020
which is where we, my then husband and I took our kids.

841
00:58:56.600 --> 00:59:00.140
And so lots of really good memories there.

842
00:59:00.860 --> 00:59:04.940
And, but it's beautiful and I'm loving it.

843
00:59:05.020 --> 00:59:07.140
And so that's really good.

844
00:59:07.200 --> 00:59:11.120
And just meeting so many, like just great people.

845
00:59:11.340 --> 00:59:13.000
It's a very Christian community.

846
00:59:13.000 --> 00:59:17.320
And just, you know, there's just this atmosphere about it.

847
00:59:17.320 --> 00:59:22.140
So anyway, a couple nights ago, this man appears on,

848
00:59:22.260 --> 00:59:26.120
so it's like literally three minutes onto the beach

849
00:59:26.120 --> 00:59:27.080
from where you park.

850
00:59:27.180 --> 00:59:28.220
It's like-

851
00:59:28.220 --> 00:59:29.340
Real quick, before you keep going,

852
00:59:29.480 --> 00:59:31.140
I just want to, Alyssa came back.

853
00:59:31.480 --> 00:59:34.600
So can we get to it so I can take her?

854
00:59:34.720 --> 00:59:36.260
Because I have like 15 minutes,

855
00:59:36.260 --> 00:59:37.680
so I want to be able to get both of you.

856
00:59:38.180 --> 00:59:38.940
Yeah, absolutely.

857
00:59:39.380 --> 00:59:39.560
Yeah.

858
00:59:39.560 --> 00:59:40.040
Okay, thank you.

859
00:59:40.040 --> 00:59:43.040
So this man appears at the top of the dune,

860
00:59:43.260 --> 00:59:44.340
which like I said, it's not,

861
00:59:44.720 --> 00:59:46.500
it's three minutes from the car down to the water.

862
00:59:47.260 --> 00:59:51.060
And he, he just had this great,

863
00:59:51.660 --> 00:59:53.460
so I'm sure I looked a couple of times,

864
00:59:53.560 --> 00:59:54.900
but I had my contacts in.

865
00:59:54.920 --> 00:59:57.380
So like, I couldn't really see who it was,

866
00:59:57.520 --> 00:59:59.980
but his stature was like, he was well-built.

867
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.720
dressed and I'm like oh and I looked again and I'm kind of like is he like here with his wife or

868
01:00:06.720 --> 01:00:15.600
well he's not so anyway the sun set I packed up my chair and my bag and started going up

869
01:00:15.600 --> 01:00:20.060
back up the dune and you're smiling but I don't think it's going to be what you

870
01:00:20.100 --> 01:00:27.980
oh no I started going back up the dune and um and then you know I could I could make out who he was

871
01:00:27.980 --> 01:00:35.400
and I'm like he looks familiar oh no so well I'm not familiar in a bad way but in that way but

872
01:00:35.520 --> 01:00:43.000
and then I like realized who he was and his name is Mark and he used to like I think my husband

873
01:00:43.380 --> 01:00:48.540
worked with him or was in he's like heads up administrate he did at the time head up

874
01:00:48.540 --> 01:00:54.700
administration at the college here and um you know he's on the chamber that kind of like

875
01:00:55.340 --> 01:01:01.660
he's very involved in like government and stuff here but anyway very eloquent formal

876
01:01:03.300 --> 01:01:08.640
um anyway he just I I just said to him I didn't say hi Mark because I hadn't quite connected

877
01:01:08.640 --> 01:01:14.680
because it's been so long but I said I said oh man such a gorgeous sunset and I just kept walking

878
01:01:14.680 --> 01:01:20.680
well he turned around and walked with me so then I noticed he said like do you come here often

879
01:01:20.680 --> 01:01:26.180
because it was just maybe like a couple minute conversation and he's not the type of person that

880
01:01:26.180 --> 01:01:33.660
you'd be like oh creep at all yeah but there's something in my spirit that was like I don't

881
01:01:33.660 --> 01:01:41.280
really want somebody like yeah I just wasn't sure so anyway I'm like okay that's mine to work through

882
01:01:41.380 --> 01:01:47.260
well last night I was there so this was like two nights ago last night I was there because I've

883
01:01:47.260 --> 01:01:55.040
going like every night to watch the sunset and and right by my side it was like he appeared out

884
01:01:55.040 --> 01:02:02.340
of thin air and he's like and he just like carries on like a five ten minute conversation and I mean

885
01:02:02.340 --> 01:02:08.880
it was good but it was like it also just was like I'm like I'm standing this is my test like also

886
01:02:08.880 --> 01:02:18.220
trying not to be like uh but he he is 74 years old I looked him up oh wow he's very fit very I

887
01:02:18.220 --> 01:02:24.960
would say young like I would have pegged him maybe 10 years older than me so obviously not um

888
01:02:26.980 --> 01:02:31.920
and he and he goes to a and then and then he's as he was leaving he said

889
01:02:32.540 --> 01:02:35.560
I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow night but maybe I'll see you down here

890
01:02:35.560 --> 01:02:44.780
and I'm like oh this is too much for me okay he and I know he goes to it he asked what he asked

891
01:02:44.780 --> 01:02:50.780
he mentioned that he goes to a church here and it's like I'm not even gonna say what type of

892
01:02:50.780 --> 01:02:56.440
politics but it's opposite politics of me because we don't need that right now no we do not we do

893
01:02:56.440 --> 01:03:05.100
not so that's it that's all I'll say so that wouldn't be in alignment but um I'm like oh man

894
01:03:05.100 --> 01:03:12.640
this place like I was like yeah just sit with that I mean again you're hearing from God so just

895
01:03:12.640 --> 01:03:21.540
sit in like again that rest rest in him right now rest in the Holy Spirit all right you're hearing

896
01:03:21.540 --> 01:03:29.120
from the Lord okay there we don't have to make any decisions there we don't have to make any

897
01:03:29.120 --> 01:03:35.200
assumptions about this you know just maybe even I don't know I'm kind of

898
01:03:37.680 --> 01:03:46.220
I'm just thinking how pleasant it is that there's just nice interaction with a pleasant gentleman

899
01:03:46.480 --> 01:03:52.640
yeah you know and it doesn't have to be anything there's nothing forced it's just

900
01:03:53.940 --> 01:04:01.540
having interaction yeah except for what if he asked me out well you then you get to decide

901
01:04:02.880 --> 01:04:06.420
you know if you don't want to go on a date with him you say I'm really flattered

902
01:04:06.840 --> 01:04:11.860
I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet yeah would it be okay if you know

903
01:04:13.700 --> 01:04:17.580
you know I just if we see each other it's when we're here

904
01:04:18.820 --> 01:04:24.340
yeah yeah but I don't want to feel like he's going to be there every day well and then yeah

905
01:04:24.340 --> 01:04:30.220
I mean and you can you can even express that you can hold boundaries you can yeah where you're at

906
01:04:31.600 --> 01:04:39.640
you don't have to feel pressured for anything yeah I think my instinct is that he sounds

907
01:04:40.140 --> 01:04:47.180
like a gentleman and it may be that God's just showing you that there are men out there that

908
01:04:47.180 --> 01:04:56.720
are going to respect boundaries and they're gentlemen out there right all right you don't

909
01:04:56.720 --> 01:04:59.980
have to be ready like that's it like yeah

910
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.580
Yeah, because I definitely don't want to like, harden up.

911
01:05:07.640 --> 01:05:11.640
Yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to.

912
01:05:13.220 --> 01:05:14.960
Like I've got my scripture ready.

913
01:05:17.140 --> 01:05:21.240
No, God's got you're gonna say, but here's the thing. We can

914
01:05:21.260 --> 01:05:25.580
stand firmly. But we don't have to be hard.

915
01:05:26.060 --> 01:05:28.340
Yes, that's exactly God defended.

916
01:05:28.340 --> 01:05:33.040
And y'all is soft. Yeah, you don't have to be hard.

917
01:05:35.240 --> 01:05:35.780
Right?

918
01:05:38.020 --> 01:05:45.180
There's a gentleness. Yeah. The fruit of the Spirit. Yeah. I do

919
01:05:45.180 --> 01:05:50.020
think he's a good man. Yeah. I think he's got a he's I think

920
01:05:50.020 --> 01:05:54.660
he's got a good reputation. Yeah. Yeah. I will tell you

921
01:05:54.660 --> 01:05:57.280
ladies when I was when I was in this program and I was dating I

922
01:05:57.280 --> 01:06:00.200
mean, I dated some doozies I'm not gonna lie. I had you know, I

923
01:06:00.200 --> 01:06:03.420
had my my my fair share of this in this program and I was

924
01:06:03.720 --> 01:06:07.380
dating. I had my ups and my downs my hopefulness, my

925
01:06:07.480 --> 01:06:10.600
discouragements I had it all okay. So just know like when

926
01:06:10.600 --> 01:06:18.260
you you go through that I I feel you. Um, but God also brought

927
01:06:18.260 --> 01:06:24.660
some some men in my life that were not they were good men.

928
01:06:24.660 --> 01:06:28.560
They just weren't. I weren't I wasn't attracted to them or they

929
01:06:28.560 --> 01:06:36.760
weren't my person. And it was just nice to get to know them as

930
01:06:39.440 --> 01:06:43.060
God's creation of man just to know like, oh, this is an

931
01:06:43.060 --> 01:06:53.300
example of a masculine man. Like God was showing me I created men

932
01:06:53.300 --> 01:06:57.720
and women I created masculine and feminine. And I could learn

933
01:06:58.460 --> 01:07:02.140
to appreciate certain qualities, attributes and

934
01:07:03.120 --> 01:07:08.000
characteristics of the masculine I can appreciate qualities and

935
01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:12.260
characteristics of masculine men. Because I don't I'm not

936
01:07:12.260 --> 01:07:16.960
masculine. I'm not supposed to be men are different ladies. And

937
01:07:16.960 --> 01:07:18.880
you're going to get into relationship and then when you

938
01:07:18.880 --> 01:07:21.900
get into marriage, there's going to be things that it's just not

939
01:07:21.900 --> 01:07:24.800
going to make sense. And it's not supposed to because they're

940
01:07:24.540 --> 01:07:32.080
men. I mean, I have two boys. I have my biological younger son,

941
01:07:33.300 --> 01:07:38.520
who I understand a little better because I raised him. But y'all

942
01:07:38.520 --> 01:07:41.020
he's a little bit different because he was raised by a

943
01:07:41.020 --> 01:07:43.980
single mother. He's a little more in touch with his emotions.

944
01:07:44.780 --> 01:07:48.040
Because he didn't have a presence of a father

945
01:07:48.040 --> 01:07:54.320
consistently around my older son. Y'all he's an anomaly

946
01:07:54.820 --> 01:08:00.340
anomaly. I cannot understand my older son. We were literally

947
01:08:00.380 --> 01:08:07.060
sitting at the dining room table all weekend long. Having to get

948
01:08:07.060 --> 01:08:10.540
on him because of his grades, which he's not usually one that

949
01:08:10.540 --> 01:08:15.260
has like terrible grades. But the attitude that was on he's 16

950
01:08:15.260 --> 01:08:18.779
y'all. So if you have teens, you understand I mean, and we have

951
01:08:18.779 --> 01:08:25.620
wonderful kids like y'all I can't I mean, like, I have a

952
01:08:25.620 --> 01:08:28.420
hard time sometimes with my kids, but I am blessed because

953
01:08:28.420 --> 01:08:32.600
they are not nearly I do not nearly have the challenges that

954
01:08:32.920 --> 01:08:36.380
many parents have to deal with nowadays. Very, very blessed.

955
01:08:37.620 --> 01:08:40.380
But my son just had like absolutely no emotion

956
01:08:40.380 --> 01:08:44.300
whatsoever. I'm like, I don't get this. I literally like I was

957
01:08:44.300 --> 01:08:49.140
losing my patience. And my like emotions were I mean, I was

958
01:08:49.140 --> 01:08:54.260
coming out of 10. I was getting reactionary. And I had to like,

959
01:08:54.279 --> 01:08:58.000
make eye contact with my husband. And I'm like, go in

960
01:08:58.000 --> 01:09:01.840
the room. Like, I need to have a conversation. And I'm looking at

961
01:09:01.840 --> 01:09:04.779
him. I'm like, you have to explain this to me. Because I

962
01:09:04.779 --> 01:09:08.920
don't understand how this kid this boy is like, I don't know.

963
01:09:09.439 --> 01:09:12.020
I have. I'm like, what are you feeling? Like, what's what's

964
01:09:12.029 --> 01:09:15.649
going on? What are you thought? Oh, no emotion. Like, I don't

965
01:09:15.649 --> 01:09:21.130
get you. And my husband's like, he's boy. And I'm like, I don't

966
01:09:21.130 --> 01:09:26.750
get boys. Like we're not supposed to understand. But in

967
01:09:26.750 --> 01:09:30.649
this moment, ladies of discovery and dating, I really want you to

968
01:09:30.649 --> 01:09:40.010
press in and learn to enjoy and appreciate and value the gift of

969
01:09:40.010 --> 01:09:45.550
the divine masculine and God's creation of man. Believe it or

970
01:09:45.550 --> 01:09:49.130
not, men were created for women and women were created for men.

971
01:09:50.609 --> 01:09:56.070
There's gifts there. So just even if this man is just there,

972
01:09:56.290 --> 01:09:59.970
Lori, for you to just appreciate God's creation.

973
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.740
of a good masculine man, that's amazing.

974
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:06.080
What a gift from God.

975
01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:09.600
I mean, I dated a lot of really great guys

976
01:10:09.940 --> 01:10:12.440
that I'm like, no, they're not for me,

977
01:10:13.480 --> 01:10:15.260
but I appreciated them.

978
01:10:15.760 --> 01:10:16.380
They were good guys.

979
01:10:17.280 --> 01:10:18.640
And that's all it had to be.

980
01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:21.120
All right, I want to move on to Alyssa.

981
01:10:21.460 --> 01:10:22.560
Is it Alyssa, Alyssa?

982
01:10:22.780 --> 01:10:23.440
Am I, how am I?

983
01:10:23.560 --> 01:10:24.780
I don't want to butcher your name.

984
01:10:25.000 --> 01:10:26.980
I am genetically challenged, y'all.

985
01:10:27.920 --> 01:10:28.600
It's what?

986
01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:30.100
Alyssa, thank you.

987
01:10:30.480 --> 01:10:31.520
Alyssa, okay.

988
01:10:32.320 --> 01:10:34.000
What you got for me?

989
01:10:34.880 --> 01:10:38.220
Oh, well, I wanted to just ask,

990
01:10:38.380 --> 01:10:41.820
I found myself very chatty and I didn't like it.

991
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:44.240
Just maybe overanalyzing, but I'm like,

992
01:10:44.280 --> 01:10:48.620
how do I get some good feedback on what to do going forward?

993
01:10:48.960 --> 01:10:50.960
As for the first one, does that make sense?

994
01:10:51.400 --> 01:10:51.920
Yes.

995
01:10:52.540 --> 01:10:53.020
Thanks.

996
01:10:53.540 --> 01:10:57.960
Now, did you, you posted in the community?

997
01:10:57.960 --> 01:11:00.740
Yeah, I think I just said somebody just, yeah.

998
01:11:00.840 --> 01:11:01.620
Okay. Not much.

999
01:11:02.020 --> 01:11:06.000
I have, let me, I don't have it pulled up.

1000
01:11:06.480 --> 01:11:07.080
Oh, that's okay.

1001
01:11:07.080 --> 01:11:09.100
I just said somebody asked me out, period, thanks.

1002
01:11:09.960 --> 01:11:09.960


1003
01:11:11.040 --> 01:11:13.100
Okay, so somebody asked you out.

1004
01:11:13.760 --> 01:11:15.460
In person, it was a friend.

1005
01:11:16.220 --> 01:11:16.740
Okay.

1006
01:11:17.820 --> 01:11:19.500
And you got nervous?

1007
01:11:21.880 --> 01:11:23.420
I think a little bit.

1008
01:11:24.660 --> 01:11:26.580
So in the date, it was fine.

1009
01:11:26.580 --> 01:11:27.420
It was good.

1010
01:11:27.420 --> 01:11:28.940
I was just extremely chatty.

1011
01:11:29.020 --> 01:11:30.640
And I was like, oh my gosh, it's so embarrassing.

1012
01:11:32.380 --> 01:11:34.280
I was like, ooh, and it's kind of nice.

1013
01:11:35.000 --> 01:11:35.860
How did he respond?

1014
01:11:37.820 --> 01:11:39.560
Man is like a solid guy.

1015
01:11:39.640 --> 01:11:40.740
Just a really good guy.

1016
01:11:41.160 --> 01:11:43.620
Super mannerly, Midwest, all the way, go Lori.

1017
01:11:45.140 --> 01:11:46.340
I love it because I'm from the Midwest.

1018
01:11:46.560 --> 01:11:48.280
Oh gosh, the quality out there.

1019
01:11:48.280 --> 01:11:49.220
I am so impressed.

1020
01:11:49.340 --> 01:11:51.180
I'm in California, so like, you know,

1021
01:11:52.500 --> 01:11:54.220
beggars can't be choosers, but anyway.

1022
01:11:56.160 --> 01:11:58.500
So just really mannerly, really kind.

1023
01:11:59.880 --> 01:12:03.160
And I mean, for the week that we had just like,

1024
01:12:03.260 --> 01:12:05.220
kind of met or at least connected before,

1025
01:12:05.220 --> 01:12:06.640
I was like, he can't stand me

1026
01:12:06.640 --> 01:12:09.720
because he's just like preaching the gospel at me too much.

1027
01:12:10.320 --> 01:12:12.160
I was like, if I need to hear it like this,

1028
01:12:12.220 --> 01:12:13.560
and he definitely has no interest,

1029
01:12:14.000 --> 01:12:16.260
but it was fine, he was kind.

1030
01:12:17.040 --> 01:12:18.780
I just didn't like the way that I showed up

1031
01:12:18.780 --> 01:12:20.160
and I really respect him.

1032
01:12:20.360 --> 01:12:22.140
I don't have any plans of going forward

1033
01:12:22.300 --> 01:12:23.700
because I'm moving soon.

1034
01:12:24.220 --> 01:12:26.300
But just noticing like,

1035
01:12:26.440 --> 01:12:28.000
ooh, I don't wanna show up like that again

1036
01:12:28.000 --> 01:12:32.000
when I'm with somebody that I could see something with.

1037
01:12:32.680 --> 01:12:34.400
And just that like nervousness

1038
01:12:34.400 --> 01:12:37.280
and just getting too chatty and honestly flirty.

1039
01:12:37.280 --> 01:12:38.820
I was a little odd too.

1040
01:12:38.840 --> 01:12:40.480
I was like, whoa, okay.

1041
01:12:41.040 --> 01:12:42.140
But where'd that come from?

1042
01:12:42.700 --> 01:12:43.180
But yeah.

1043
01:12:43.920 --> 01:12:45.000
Well, those are good questions.

1044
01:12:45.100 --> 01:12:46.200
Like, where did that come from?

1045
01:12:47.480 --> 01:12:50.000
Like, what about it did you not like?

1046
01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:53.780
Like, what surfacing, what thoughts or beliefs

1047
01:12:54.840 --> 01:13:00.180
are you hearing or thinking with how you showed up?

1048
01:13:03.520 --> 01:13:07.260
I didn't like that there was some nervousness

1049
01:13:07.640 --> 01:13:11.280
around like, oh, am I enough?

1050
01:13:11.880 --> 01:13:15.000
Or it just, I don't know specifically,

1051
01:13:15.100 --> 01:13:17.320
I could like think about that or pray about that.

1052
01:13:17.600 --> 01:13:18.840
But yeah.

1053
01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:21.220
I would encourage to sit with some of that.

1054
01:13:21.600 --> 01:13:22.620
Like, okay, there's nervousness.

1055
01:13:22.760 --> 01:13:24.820
And so the thought, am I enough?

1056
01:13:26.200 --> 01:13:31.180
Was there, did you feel embarrassed?

1057
01:13:32.080 --> 01:13:32.660
Oh yeah.

1058
01:13:32.880 --> 01:13:37.220
I mean, partly of me and partly of him

1059
01:13:37.740 --> 01:13:40.240
because I have a big thing where I'm like,

1060
01:13:40.580 --> 01:13:42.980
you cannot look like you're dating me

1061
01:13:42.980 --> 01:13:43.980
until you actually are.

1062
01:13:44.040 --> 01:13:45.700
Like, if you don't earn it, you don't get it.

1063
01:13:46.160 --> 01:13:48.240
Like, you're not walking me into church.

1064
01:13:48.240 --> 01:13:49.520
No way, that's a privilege.

1065
01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:51.200
Like, that's expensive

1066
01:13:51.200 --> 01:13:53.260
because I got to stay on the market, you know?

1067
01:13:54.240 --> 01:13:54.240


1068
01:13:55.620 --> 01:13:56.040
Yeah.

1069
01:13:56.300 --> 01:13:58.760
So that, so he was kind of showing up

1070
01:13:58.760 --> 01:14:00.580
probably maybe being more of a gentleman

1071
01:14:00.640 --> 01:14:02.920
kind of escorting you.

1072
01:14:03.680 --> 01:14:05.700
And you're like, this is embarrassing

1073
01:14:05.700 --> 01:14:08.980
because I'm not dating you, we're just on a date.

1074
01:14:09.080 --> 01:14:09.680
Yeah.

1075
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:12.780
And it's, I was just embarrassed

1076
01:14:12.780 --> 01:14:14.980
to like figure out how to ask those things.

1077
01:14:16.460 --> 01:14:18.140
Like ask what things?

1078
01:14:18.600 --> 01:14:21.640
Like, hey, actually, like, I'm totally fine

1079
01:14:21.640 --> 01:14:23.060
if you want me to hold your arm

1080
01:14:23.060 --> 01:14:25.860
if we're walking in a not so public park,

1081
01:14:26.000 --> 01:14:27.640
but if we're, where there's other people,

1082
01:14:27.720 --> 01:14:29.720
I kind of want you to cross the walkway.

1083
01:14:30.040 --> 01:14:31.380
Like, could you stay away from me?

1084
01:14:32.320 --> 01:14:32.320


1085
01:14:32.900 --> 01:14:33.460
So-

1086
01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:34.980
Is that a, like-

1087
01:14:34.980 --> 01:14:36.180
Well, here's the thing.

1088
01:14:36.680 --> 01:14:40.200
So when, did he like grab your arm

1089
01:14:40.200 --> 01:14:41.320
or did you grab his arm?

1090
01:14:41.660 --> 01:14:44.400
He offered, very gentlemanly, solid guy.

1091
01:14:44.400 --> 01:14:45.720
Okay, I love that.

1092
01:14:45.860 --> 01:14:47.100
And that's what I was going to ask.

1093
01:14:47.280 --> 01:14:50.540
Cause I'm like, that, for me, that's a thing.

1094
01:14:51.760 --> 01:14:56.480
I don't like guys just forcing me to do that.

1095
01:14:56.960 --> 01:14:59.980
Y'all like big, a big.

1096
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.420
thing for me, a big attraction for me, and this is my thing,

1097
01:15:04.540 --> 01:15:08.200
this doesn't have to be your thing, is when men ask

1098
01:15:08.920 --> 01:15:10.840
permission for that kind of stuff.

1099
01:15:11.300 --> 01:15:11.640
Yeah.

1100
01:15:13.460 --> 01:15:17.320
So when any of y'all have these dates with these guys, they're

1101
01:15:17.320 --> 01:15:22.020
gonna earn points with me if they asked you permission. Okay,

1102
01:15:22.080 --> 01:15:25.980
my husband did that for me. And that is something that won me

1103
01:15:25.700 --> 01:15:28.760
over. He asked if he could kiss me on the first date and I told

1104
01:15:28.760 --> 01:15:34.300
him no. I wanted to but I told him no. Okay. But he asked if he

1105
01:15:34.300 --> 01:15:38.080
could hold my hand when we were walking downtown Bradenton,

1106
01:15:39.600 --> 01:15:44.180
Florida. And I was like, okay. And then he made sure he was on

1107
01:15:44.300 --> 01:15:48.600
the outside like walking on the street. Like those were like

1108
01:15:48.600 --> 01:15:52.380
ladies, those are qualities. Open the door for me. So for

1109
01:15:52.380 --> 01:16:01.300
you, I do want you to challenge yourself and ask yourself. Why?

1110
01:16:02.860 --> 01:16:05.340
I want I was trying to figure out how I want to ask this

1111
01:16:05.340 --> 01:16:09.820
question because I got things going through my head here. What

1112
01:16:12.180 --> 01:16:21.080
about a man being honorable and showing respect for any woman

1113
01:16:21.640 --> 01:16:24.880
would be embarrassing? Whether he's dating her or not?

1114
01:16:28.760 --> 01:16:32.340
The assumptions made at least for me and maybe I'm wrong on

1115
01:16:32.340 --> 01:16:34.020
this if you're asking me that right now.

1116
01:16:34.700 --> 01:16:38.160
Okay. So yeah, let's I want to dive into that just for I mean,

1117
01:16:38.160 --> 01:16:40.380
we don't have a whole lot of time. We've got about five

1118
01:16:40.220 --> 01:16:47.340
minutes. The assumptions. So what are you fearful of?

1119
01:16:47.340 --> 01:16:52.260
Who's that I would be? Whoever would see my rep just mostly

1120
01:16:52.260 --> 01:16:55.780
that my reputation would say, hey, that's her level. And I

1121
01:16:55.780 --> 01:16:59.060
don't want to be capped at that level. Like, I hope I'm above.

1122
01:16:59.860 --> 01:17:03.520
So what others think of what I'm hearing is it's about what

1123
01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:07.720
other people are thinking? Um, or how they're going to feel

1124
01:17:07.720 --> 01:17:08.660
what your images?

1125
01:17:09.860 --> 01:17:13.080
Yeah, kind of like the reputation that precedes me.

1126
01:17:13.080 --> 01:17:19.420
Reputation. Was there ever a time in your life where you

1127
01:17:19.420 --> 01:17:24.060
didn't have a good reputation? No. Okay. Was there ever a time

1128
01:17:24.060 --> 01:17:25.940
in your life that someone challenged that you didn't have

1129
01:17:25.940 --> 01:17:38.000
a good reputation? No. The where you came in? Um, great

1130
01:17:38.160 --> 01:17:38.640
question.

1131
01:17:39.180 --> 01:17:43.120
Sit with that one with the Lord. Yeah, we'll see what gets

1132
01:17:43.300 --> 01:17:46.500
revealed there. I think, you know, again, you know, again,

1133
01:17:46.540 --> 01:17:50.400
these are just things that I'm hearing. If you're not getting

1134
01:17:50.400 --> 01:17:56.160
something, that's totally fine. Okay. Just trying to help you

1135
01:17:56.160 --> 01:17:59.300
process this. I am I enough? Because let's go back to that

1136
01:17:59.300 --> 01:18:06.340
one. You were nervous. Am I enough? Yeah. When was Can you

1137
01:18:06.340 --> 01:18:09.880
recall a time one of your earliest memories where you felt

1138
01:18:09.880 --> 01:18:10.940
like you weren't enough?

1139
01:18:15.820 --> 01:18:19.100
Yeah, with friends, and I was really little lack thereof.

1140
01:18:22.600 --> 01:18:30.220
Spend time with that. Is it again, and if I'm if, if you

1141
01:18:30.220 --> 01:18:33.260
don't want to answer any of my questions, it's okay. All

1142
01:18:33.520 --> 01:18:36.700
right. I don't want to push you too hard. All right. No, all

1143
01:18:36.720 --> 01:18:37.200
good.

1144
01:18:40.660 --> 01:18:45.540
Gee, is it hard for you to open up to people? No, like way

1145
01:18:45.560 --> 01:18:48.500
overshare. Oh, my gosh. You're an overshare. Okay.

1146
01:18:51.820 --> 01:19:03.500
All right. Yeah, I would just again, spend some time with with

1147
01:19:03.500 --> 01:19:07.560
caught up in the I don't know how to act on dates. I think

1148
01:19:07.560 --> 01:19:12.940
this is just getting your feet wet. Right? Yeah. So this was

1149
01:19:12.940 --> 01:19:14.560
your first date in how long?

1150
01:19:16.820 --> 01:19:19.220
Two months. A few months.

1151
01:19:20.280 --> 01:19:22.460
This is what so this was your first date since heartwork.

1152
01:19:23.640 --> 01:19:27.320
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1153
01:19:27.680 --> 01:19:32.920
How long were you in heartwork? A few months. Okay. Yeah.

1154
01:19:33.500 --> 01:19:42.720
All right. Yeah. Um, are you? How are you on? Are you on apps?

1155
01:19:42.720 --> 01:19:43.860
Like, how are you meeting people?

1156
01:19:44.500 --> 01:19:47.860
Oh, I'm not on apps right now. Earlier this year, I was on an

1157
01:19:47.860 --> 01:19:51.380
app met a great guy dated for a little bit. Not the right fit,

1158
01:19:51.400 --> 01:19:54.860
but like solid guys so encouraged by the great men out

1159
01:19:54.760 --> 01:19:58.700
there. This guy was in person. He was like my neighbor,

1160
01:19:58.900 --> 01:19:59.720
actually. So

1161
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.340
Oh, cool. Yeah. So yeah, I just encourage you just keep getting

1162
01:20:05.340 --> 01:20:09.720
out there. And then whatever comes like sit with Holy Spirit

1163
01:20:09.720 --> 01:20:13.740
don't be afraid to to share with us in the app like what's coming

1164
01:20:13.740 --> 01:20:17.340
on, you know, coming up what's surfacing. We're here for you.

1165
01:20:17.180 --> 01:20:22.100
Okay. Yeah. So just practice helps get that. Yeah, you just

1166
01:20:22.100 --> 01:20:27.040
got it. You just got to use that dating muscle. Oh, okay. Yeah, I

1167
01:20:27.040 --> 01:20:31.840
know. A shortcut. Come on. We got more tricks up our sleeve,

1168
01:20:32.020 --> 01:20:36.280
right? Perfect girl ladies, it would be like, you just go on a

1169
01:20:36.280 --> 01:20:40.300
date, you meet the man of your dreams. You know, he's the one

1170
01:20:40.920 --> 01:20:44.980
he asked you to marry him, you get married, and then happily

1171
01:20:44.980 --> 01:20:48.780
ever after like, if only that could happen, or if only, you

1172
01:20:48.780 --> 01:20:53.200
know, you could get him Amazon Prime to your door. That would

1173
01:20:53.200 --> 01:20:58.720
be so wonderful. But that unfortunately, you know, Jackie

1174
01:20:58.720 --> 01:21:06.140
likes to say is every promise comes with a process. So we have

1175
01:21:06.140 --> 01:21:09.500
a process that we that God is going to take us through and

1176
01:21:09.500 --> 01:21:15.420
it's for our it's for it's for us. It's for his glory. He like

1177
01:21:15.420 --> 01:21:23.180
good things come out of it. I promise. All good things. All

1178
01:21:23.180 --> 01:21:28.720
Kim, I'm praying for your first date tomorrow. Will you please

1179
01:21:28.860 --> 01:21:33.280
make sure that you come in the app and like, let us know how it

1180
01:21:33.220 --> 01:21:39.960
goes. Like, okay. This is one thing I do love about my job.

1181
01:21:40.080 --> 01:21:46.500
Like, y'all, I have such a cool job because I get to have an

1182
01:21:46.760 --> 01:21:51.540
inside of like all y'all's love stories. I get like, I get to be

1183
01:21:51.540 --> 01:21:55.400
like, the best friend that y'all like, you know how you

1184
01:21:55.400 --> 01:21:57.600
always go to your best friend and tell like, Oh, I just went

1185
01:21:57.600 --> 01:22:00.740
on this date. Like, that's like one of my favorite things. Like

1186
01:22:00.800 --> 01:22:06.760
I love to be your cheerleader. I love to be like, you know, your

1187
01:22:06.760 --> 01:22:11.080
person that you get to come to. So I get excited when y'all

1188
01:22:11.080 --> 01:22:16.840
share that stuff with me. And yeah, the fly. Sam saw the fly

1189
01:22:16.840 --> 01:22:20.700
that's flying around my face. Like, we have these little

1190
01:22:20.840 --> 01:22:24.600
zappers, but they for some like, we kill him at night, because we

1191
01:22:24.600 --> 01:22:26.780
turn it on. And when the lights go off, you hear him zapping

1192
01:22:26.780 --> 01:22:31.300
through the night. And then my husband has a salt gun, like

1193
01:22:31.300 --> 01:22:34.200
looks literally like a little gun and he like goes around like,

1194
01:22:34.580 --> 01:22:39.020
like he's on a mission like he's a soldier. I'm like, again, he's

1195
01:22:39.020 --> 01:22:43.020
a man y'all men are different. And then of course, my boys

1196
01:22:43.020 --> 01:22:50.320
want to something else. Again, I don't understand that. Meg,

1197
01:22:50.420 --> 01:22:53.500
you're asking how long is it supposed to take for you to get

1198
01:22:53.500 --> 01:22:57.180
to know someone is your person? Is it immediate or does it

1199
01:22:57.260 --> 01:23:04.500
develop over time that that is? It's different for everybody. It

1200
01:23:04.500 --> 01:23:09.820
will be different for everybody. God is I believe God is involved

1201
01:23:09.820 --> 01:23:14.680
in every single one of those love stories. And so I always

1202
01:23:15.440 --> 01:23:21.880
encourage everyone to seek the Lord. Be in prayer with the Lord.

1203
01:23:23.720 --> 01:23:28.740
Speak to the Lord about that. And I did I know I didn't cover

1204
01:23:28.740 --> 01:23:32.140
this. I know someone asked in the in the app and I said I

1205
01:23:32.140 --> 01:23:34.780
would I would talk about it if they wanted to come in the chat

1206
01:23:34.780 --> 01:23:39.440
and I don't think they were here about like non negotiables and

1207
01:23:39.440 --> 01:23:47.700
stuff. Like, is this a non negotiable? I had I had non

1208
01:23:47.640 --> 01:23:53.400
negotiables. And when I dated guys, and there was a not a non

1209
01:23:53.400 --> 01:23:56.580
negotiable come up like I always been like, because one of my non

1210
01:23:56.580 --> 01:24:00.300
negotiables ladies was both of my non negotiables. Well, two of

1211
01:24:00.300 --> 01:24:03.780
my non negotiables was I wanted to have another baby. And I

1212
01:24:03.780 --> 01:24:08.980
wanted to stay in Florida. If they weren't willing to move, and

1213
01:24:08.980 --> 01:24:11.540
they didn't want to have another baby, I was not going to

1214
01:24:11.540 --> 01:24:15.920
entertain it. So when I dated guys, and if they came out and

1215
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:18.440
told me that they had vasectomies, because ladies, I

1216
01:24:18.440 --> 01:24:22.440
was dating in my late 30s early, like, you know, late 30s. So it

1217
01:24:22.440 --> 01:24:26.900
wasn't uncommon. If I was dating a guy like in his late 30s, or

1218
01:24:26.900 --> 01:24:32.560
his early 40s. For men to have vasectomies. So I dated a number

1219
01:24:32.560 --> 01:24:35.120
of guys that said they had vasectomies. And I didn't really

1220
01:24:35.120 --> 01:24:37.580
press forward with them. Because to me, that was a non negotiable

1221
01:24:37.580 --> 01:24:41.740
because I wanted another baby. I thought the Lord told me, the

1222
01:24:41.740 --> 01:24:47.220
Lord told me I was going to have another kid. And so in my mind, I

1223
01:24:47.220 --> 01:24:50.080
was like, I want another baby. So he told me I'm gonna have

1224
01:24:50.080 --> 01:24:55.380
another kid. So I'm gonna have another baby. So I passed on a

1225
01:24:55.380 --> 01:24:59.560
handful of guys like that a lot of good guys pass on them. I met

1226
01:24:59.560 --> 01:24:59.980
my husband

1227
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.140
Then we're talking, met in person,

1228
01:25:05.260 --> 01:25:06.380
found out he had had a vasectomy.

1229
01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:10.120
I had to go to the Lord with that.

1230
01:25:12.020 --> 01:25:14.220
And the Lord spoke to me and he said,

1231
01:25:14.520 --> 01:25:16.260
Carla, I told you you were gonna have more children.

1232
01:25:16.460 --> 01:25:17.920
I didn't tell you we're gonna birth them.

1233
01:25:23.180 --> 01:25:27.600
Well, okay, Lord, didn't know that.

1234
01:25:29.060 --> 01:25:34.200
So again, I just, I encourage you ladies to always be like,

1235
01:25:34.200 --> 01:25:36.940
seek the Lord on everything, okay?

1236
01:25:37.100 --> 01:25:42.660
And again, like there was a suit,

1237
01:25:42.720 --> 01:25:44.580
like it made me uncomfortable.

1238
01:25:44.580 --> 01:25:46.580
I was a little scared,

1239
01:25:46.820 --> 01:25:51.180
but at the same time I had a bit of a supernatural peace

1240
01:25:51.220 --> 01:25:56.320
and God also, because I was so in tune to listening to him,

1241
01:25:56.900 --> 01:26:00.620
he gave me confirmations that I didn't have to go seek

1242
01:26:00.620 --> 01:26:03.700
and I didn't have to question, is this God, is this not?

1243
01:26:04.700 --> 01:26:06.720
Like I oftentimes see people do that.

1244
01:26:06.760 --> 01:26:07.980
Well, I think this is God.

1245
01:26:08.300 --> 01:26:10.480
Oh, God did this and God did this and God did this.

1246
01:26:10.680 --> 01:26:12.440
And it's almost like it's forced

1247
01:26:12.440 --> 01:26:14.000
and that you're forcing it.

1248
01:26:14.420 --> 01:26:15.980
There's just something,

1249
01:26:16.240 --> 01:26:19.080
and I wish I had the words to describe it,

1250
01:26:22.060 --> 01:26:24.600
where if you've ever experienced

1251
01:26:25.440 --> 01:26:28.760
just the supernatural presence of Holy Spirit,

1252
01:26:31.780 --> 01:26:36.500
you know, like you'll know, but it might take time.

1253
01:26:36.860 --> 01:26:38.740
It might be immediate.

1254
01:26:38.900 --> 01:26:47.020
You never know, but God, if you're abiding in him

1255
01:26:47.020 --> 01:26:48.700
and you're spending time with him,

1256
01:26:48.760 --> 01:26:52.320
and again, as I get ready to end this,

1257
01:26:53.800 --> 01:27:00.500
spend this week activating the rest in him.

1258
01:27:01.880 --> 01:27:05.060
Have Sabbath with him this week.

1259
01:27:05.900 --> 01:27:07.960
Spend time with that.

1260
01:27:09.820 --> 01:27:13.420
Staying connected to him is so important.

1261
01:27:14.920 --> 01:27:16.280
It's when we hear from him clearly

1262
01:27:17.480 --> 01:27:21.240
and we don't have to allow the confusion to come in.

1263
01:27:21.760 --> 01:27:25.520
There's just the peace because we are abiding in him.

1264
01:27:26.080 --> 01:27:29.560
Can't say that strongly enough, okay?

1265
01:27:30.000 --> 01:27:31.880
Just from my own testimony,

1266
01:27:32.300 --> 01:27:35.520
it's very easy sometimes we get caught up

1267
01:27:35.520 --> 01:27:36.820
where we don't do that,

1268
01:27:37.100 --> 01:27:38.960
because I'll be very transparent.

1269
01:27:40.760 --> 01:27:43.200
You know, I've been married for two years

1270
01:27:43.200 --> 01:27:45.780
and I will say there's been moments in my marriage

1271
01:27:45.780 --> 01:27:51.100
where I haven't been fully in relationship with God

1272
01:27:51.100 --> 01:27:52.920
and it has created confusion

1273
01:27:53.540 --> 01:27:55.900
and it has created just discord.

1274
01:27:56.840 --> 01:28:00.960
And when I allow myself to really commune

1275
01:28:00.960 --> 01:28:04.440
with my heavenly father where it's just me and him,

1276
01:28:05.620 --> 01:28:07.700
everything just really comes back together.

1277
01:28:10.140 --> 01:28:14.340
So it is important to learn how to do it now single

1278
01:28:14.560 --> 01:28:17.140
because ladies, you will need to continue

1279
01:28:17.140 --> 01:28:21.000
to do that in marriage because it will happen.

1280
01:28:21.640 --> 01:28:25.540
The enemy will want to come and kill, steal,

1281
01:28:25.560 --> 01:28:29.720
and destroy marriage because he doesn't like marriage.

1282
01:28:32.080 --> 01:28:36.740
So practice pressing into God now,

1283
01:28:36.740 --> 01:28:38.180
especially while you're single,

1284
01:28:40.220 --> 01:28:44.440
so that when God brings that person to you,

1285
01:28:44.440 --> 01:28:46.940
you know, you're equipped.

1286
01:28:49.260 --> 01:28:51.080
And now you've got your spirit mate

1287
01:28:51.080 --> 01:28:52.880
who's also gonna be equipped

1288
01:28:53.640 --> 01:28:58.040
and y'all can, you can go to battle together.

1289
01:29:00.400 --> 01:29:03.780
Y'all are, that's what kingdom marriage is, y'all.

1290
01:29:06.860 --> 01:29:12.120
All right, ladies, be blessed, take rest this week.

1291
01:29:12.880 --> 01:29:14.860
All right, I love you all.

1292
01:29:15.440 --> 01:29:17.360
I can't wait to see you next week.

1293
01:29:18.200 --> 01:29:23.280
All right, have a blessed, blessed day, love you.