WEBVTT

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to go but i don't i don't want to take any more time i'm so sorry that y'all cannot see me

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i've seen what happened when you get on at the last point i start a little late with my

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joining um anyway so how's everything going i miss your pretty face yeah thank you i'm gonna

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try to i'm gonna try to log on from my phone and just mute my phone and then i mean voices

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be coming from different places but you know at least you'll see me i couldn't record the video

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from my phone logging in so recording in progress

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um

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okay

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we see you yeah how about now can y'all hear me from one place yeah and there's no echo and

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we can see you perfectly oh i got so confused i'm like oh i see myself on the camera now but

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i'm the one talking

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let's pray let me let me i saw i looked sideways on wait a minute do i look like i'm looking at

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y'all or do i look i'm looking at the camera so you're looking at the camera well now you're not

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but when you were looking i think at your phone we could see you looking at us okay right there

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that we can see you like yeah okay thank y'all for being so patient with me let us pray father

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god i thank you for your goodness for your kindness for your love you're so good i thank

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you that you have all the solutions that we need while we're on this journey i'm so thankful that

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we get to partner with you to see your kingdom coming your will be done in our life as it

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pertains to marriage in our overall wholeness as your daughters in jesus name amen

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all right ladies now y'all know i already kind of struggled i have a big screen about

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hands go up first but i will write them down as you put them up as much as my little screen can

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show me so um i want us to go ahead and get started because i don't want us to be pressed

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for time and so um all right i see katie's hand and burns hand and shira hands hand okay

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uh-oh there happens go katie

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hi guys um so i have a question and i don't want to sound mean when i say this but

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um how do you get over the the fact that a guy is shorter than you

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how much shorter like two three inches i've not met him in person his um profile said

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like five four i think i'm like five six five seven depending on the day and he literally

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asked me because i asked him today if you want to meet with me for coffee and um he said yeah

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that would be great but we couldn't come up with the time so he said oh do you want to do a video

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date and i was like sure so um anyway then the next question was are you sure you're not gonna

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be upset there the height's not gonna bother you and so my reply was i don't really know to be

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honest i've never dated anybody that was my height or shorter sorry my daughter's frying

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chicken um and but i said i've had men that were taller than me that didn't control things that

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they could help like lying and cheating so height you can't help so as long as you're a good man it

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shouldn't matter but i've not met him and i'm very weird about that so i don't know how to get past

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it if he's a good man you won't have a problem getting past it that's what i figured but i was

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like i don't i don't know i think that the truth is people once you get to know a person they

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honestly do show up as who they are you can have a supermodel of a man but if he treats you like

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crap he's gonna look like crap you can be like he look good but you can have him because i don't

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yeah that's kind of how i was when i was trying to explain that to him because he you know i like a

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lot of the same things that we've not talked on the phone or anything so he could be just awful

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but um we're gonna try and do a video date either tomorrow or thursday

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And so I don't know.

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I just was like, I don't want that to be a focus.

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And I went out on a date with a guy on Saturday.

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And he was my height.

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And I probably would have been OK with that.

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Like, I just had never tried that before.

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So I didn't know if it would just kind of go away

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when you liked the person.

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Yeah, I think you can feel it's not like it's not

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going to be a bit awkward.

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So maybe wear some flat sandals.

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I mean, if y'all go, when y'all going to date.

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But I don't ever wear heels.

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I have issues with my heels.

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So I don't wear more than like a tennis shoe or like a sandal.

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So it's not like I would be wearing heels

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or would have to give up wearing heels.

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Yeah, I think, personally, you can get used to it.

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I don't believe that his height has anything

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to do with him being masculine, mature, or marriage minded.

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What you told him was true, then it was your truth.

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And I think that, yeah, I think it's the truth.

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And physical features, unless he is hard for you to look at.

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No, he's cute.

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I mean, his pictures are cute.

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I've not seen him in person or on a video date yet.

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But he's got some pictures, so.

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I say go for it.

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I think it's going to be fun.

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Stretch yourself, Elyse.

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All right, Vern.

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Hello.

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Hey, girl.

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Well, I had a couple of people that I did talk to.

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Still haven't quite made it on a date.

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But I'm supposed to have a date on Sunday.

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But we're actually not a good match.

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And let me tell you why I say that.

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Well, I thought we could have been.

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This is the thing.

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OK, so I'm 62, and he's 61.

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So when we started talking and everything,

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he said that he liked my profile and my pictures and all of that.

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But for some reason, he wanted to talk to me.

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But then he said, I'm too old for him.

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He like them young, right?

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But anyway, we still continue to talk.

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And it was just like we became like friends.

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And we had started.

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And yes, we were telling each other

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about our poor little business that we had.

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I was helping him.

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And he was like, girl, I'm going to teach you.

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You're doing too many things.

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You're a beautiful woman.

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And then you're a church girl.

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These guys, these young guys, nah.

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Which I'm not interested in them anyway.

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But it was more like we was having just this friend conversation.

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And so some things I guess I had told him,

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he said that he wanted to take me on a date

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to show him what a real date looked like.

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And so we did agree to it about Sunday.

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But we already know that we're not interested like that.

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But the other thing, I mean, he could curse.

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And I was like, excuse me.

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But anyway, he was a really nice guy.

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But he do want to take me out on Sunday.

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But oh, yesterday he called me.

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And he's just now trying to flirt around.

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And I think he was kind of like as if he

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want to kind of move his little self back over on that part

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about I did sat on date older women.

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But you're such a nice person.

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But anyway.

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But yeah, so I do have that little friendship date to go.

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So I'm still discovering.

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And I can still.

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There's still a date.

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That's right.

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So it's still a date.

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Yeah.

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And then I have one guy, which he was, I say he's a minister.

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And so we haven't talked in a while.

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We was having this long conversation.

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Remember I told you I sent him this long, really long message?

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Well, I haven't talked to him in like maybe two weeks.

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So all of a sudden, Sunday morning, he sent me this message.

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And he was like, hey, he said, I just want to say hello.

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He was like, I'm getting ready to minister this morning.

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Can you please pray for me, say a prayer for me or whatever?

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And I was like, I didn't talk to him.

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This is on a message that he sent to me

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because I was in a session that morning anyway.

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So it wasn't that I can talk to him.

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But I didn't hear anything else from him since then.

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I just guess he just needed prayer.

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But anyway, so haven't really had any dates,

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but just still talking to people on the phone.

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But I got two guys that I'm talking to right now.

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And we're talking about, hey, let's get together and do something.

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One of them said, let's go have coffee or tea

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or a cocktail or something like that.

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But we haven't scheduled time.

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to go and do it. But again, I'm still enjoying myself.

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That's good. How old is the guy that says that he doesn't like older women?

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61? He said I've dated ladies that were in their 61, girl she was in her 70s.

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And then now mind you, he's been married like five times. He say one he don't count because he was

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18 when he got married. But he's still friends of the other. So we just talked, like I said,

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after that, just being friends. And he just asked if it was okay if he could take me out to

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a nice restaurant. So yeah. Okay, sounds good. Well, I'm excited. Keep us updated

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as soon as you come back from the date. I sure will. Hopefully, I'll get another

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one before then. That's right. Yeah, I'll get another one. So I'm not, like I said,

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it's just friends. It's nothing that he's going to change my mind on or anything like that. It's

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just that we just enjoyed each other's company talking to each other. Oh, good. That sounds fun.

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Okay. Way to go. First date down. Six more to go. Oh, yeah. All righty. All right, Shirai.

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Hi. Hey. I'm in the wilderness with dating. I know that place. It's a dry and weary land.

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You know what's so funny? You know what's so funny about it, though, for me?

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Is that this used to, a long time before I was a part of this program, used to make me cry.

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Yeah. But I'm at such peace. I'm like, oh, well. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird to me. But, you know,

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it's kind of strange to be like, oh, well. Once you're in the role of it, you get so tired,

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like you could wear you out. And so then when you get a break, you'd be like, oh, well, I'll be okay.

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I don't. I mean, but I guess because I used to, you know, not getting attention or anything like

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that. So now, so it's just, I don't know. It's just weird to like, be okay with not getting.

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Yeah. But I also did ask God a while back that I wanted to meet somebody organically.

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And I saw this thing. I don't know if anybody else has ever heard of it. It's called jigsaw dating.

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I've heard somebody make me. I've heard of it. And I heard somebody in the group make mention

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of jigsaw dating. I don't know who it was. It's been on the wall or, but go ahead.

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So I, and their tagline is meet someone organically. And I was like, okay, Jesus.

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Yeah.

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But I haven't tried it yet. Like I've been tipped. Like I'll actually put the ticket in my cart.

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Yeah. And then I, and then I don't pay for it.

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I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why I haven't like just bit the bullet yet and paid

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for it, but I haven't. Ashley Little just said in the comments that she went to their speed dating

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event and it was so much fun. Yeah, that, there was, there was one on the sixth that I was going

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to go to and then I didn't pay for it. How much do it cost? It's not, it's not expensive. It's like,

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like a little bit over $20. I think. Really? Yeah.

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Cool. Yeah. And they like have a mem, I think they have like a membership. Yeah. That you,

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that you, that you, then you don't have to pay for each separate event. You get a start,

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you like, I think if you like that now that the membership is, is like over a hundred dollars,

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but then you like get a certain amount of events that you don't have to pay. Cause you know,

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you're a part of, and I, and I think they like do like bigger, like matchmaking within those people,

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I guess. I don't know, but, but I was first going to try an event. So I guess I need to,

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I guess I'm like wanting to be, I guess. It's kind of cool that somebody else has heard about

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it too. And so like, it may, it kind of is encouraging me to go ahead and go. Yeah. So

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I guess I want to hear, I guess from other ladies, if you guys don't, I don't know, it's okay. If,

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if they share what they, what they experienced. Ashley, what was the experience like,

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if you're not, if you're available to share? Um, so with the speed dating event, I don't

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think it was like necessary.

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really Christian-based, but it was just basically,

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we all met at a coffee shop,

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and the women would just sit there

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and the guys would kind of like rotate.

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But it was just fun, low-key, no pressure.

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I was a little nervous, but I went with a friend,

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and it was a lot of fun, it really, really was.

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Oh, so you meet live in your area.

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They pull the people together in their particular area,

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and you do, huh, that's nice.

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Yeah.

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We need to do one with the Dallas people,

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there's a lot of people in Dallas.

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Ain't this where you at, Chiraq?

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You should post it on the wall,

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in the Dallas singles group.

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Okay, like, yeah, the single,

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post the jigsaw dating on there?

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Yeah, like, see who want,

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like, if anybody would be interested,

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like, tell them about it.

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And like, going with me?

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Go together.

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Yeah, that would be a good idea.

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Then I wouldn't feel,

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one of my friends, one of my girlfriends,

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one of my Christian girlfriends from work

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said she would go with me.

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Yeah.

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So.

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Oh, cool, that's cool.

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But, yeah.

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I gotta tell people I know about that.

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So, yeah.

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So, I'm kind of,

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00:16:16.560 --> 00:16:20.600
I'm more encouraged that I know that other people on here.

229
00:16:20.700 --> 00:16:21.200
Yeah.

230
00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:24.620
Have heard of it and experienced it, so.

231
00:16:24.620 --> 00:16:26.560
And I will, I'll post,

232
00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:30.100
you think it's okay to post, like, something else?

233
00:16:30.520 --> 00:16:32.040
Something other than, like, our stuff on there?

234
00:16:32.360 --> 00:16:34.720
The Dallas singles group.

235
00:16:35.760 --> 00:16:38.000
Yeah, like, the singles connect, yeah.

236
00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:39.060
Is that okay?

237
00:16:39.400 --> 00:16:42.820
Yeah, jigsaw is a dating app.

238
00:16:42.920 --> 00:16:45.180
It's like, hey, check out this new dating app.

239
00:16:45.400 --> 00:16:48.000
Like, when we, y'all ask us which dating apps do we.

240
00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:48.760
Okay.

241
00:16:49.040 --> 00:16:51.400
Yeah, it's not like you're posting, like,

242
00:16:51.720 --> 00:16:54.340
some, like, some teachings or something like that.

243
00:16:55.240 --> 00:16:56.000
Okay.

244
00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:58.900
It could possibly be a good event for people to go.

245
00:16:59.640 --> 00:17:00.400
I think you should.

246
00:17:01.480 --> 00:17:02.880
Okay, I'll do that.

247
00:17:03.520 --> 00:17:03.520


248
00:17:04.300 --> 00:17:05.859
Thanks for the.

249
00:17:05.859 --> 00:17:06.760
And yesterday.

250
00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:07.560
Yeah.

251
00:17:07.980 --> 00:17:09.980
Yesterday, I turned 48.

252
00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:12.140
Ooh, you're 48?

253
00:17:13.079 --> 00:17:14.300
I'm 48.

254
00:17:15.579 --> 00:17:18.319
You were, like, in your 30s, like, no.

255
00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:18.619
Like.

256
00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:23.040
I didn't know that.

257
00:17:23.040 --> 00:17:25.940
Yeah, I turned 48 yesterday.

258
00:17:25.940 --> 00:17:27.359
I am shocked.

259
00:17:29.260 --> 00:17:29.860
Yeah.

260
00:17:30.040 --> 00:17:31.860
I thought you were a young girl.

261
00:17:33.040 --> 00:17:34.120
It don't mean you're not young,

262
00:17:34.180 --> 00:17:35.480
but I'm talking about, I'm 42,

263
00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:36.940
so I thought you were, like, a babe.

264
00:17:37.140 --> 00:17:37.300
Like, I.

265
00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:38.960
You thought you were.

266
00:17:40.120 --> 00:17:43.440
Well, you have more wisdom in areas,

267
00:17:43.500 --> 00:17:45.980
so that's probably why you're older than me.

268
00:17:46.100 --> 00:17:47.660
So that's probably why.

269
00:17:48.020 --> 00:17:51.720
No, no, no, you have a very baby-like face.

270
00:17:52.520 --> 00:17:54.400
I didn't think something about some wisdom.

271
00:17:55.340 --> 00:17:59.320
No, we're puzzle pieces.

272
00:17:59.800 --> 00:18:01.740
No, no, no.

273
00:18:01.740 --> 00:18:04.000
All right, happy belated birthday.

274
00:18:04.600 --> 00:18:05.240
Thank you.

275
00:18:06.120 --> 00:18:08.520
So, yeah, so, like, one of the things,

276
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because I've been, like, listening to a podcast

277
00:18:13.660 --> 00:18:15.300
about the Bible, one of the things

278
00:18:15.300 --> 00:18:17.440
that they've been talking about is the number eight.

279
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:18.440
Yeah.

280
00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:22.480
And I've heard, like, Jackie talk about it, too,

281
00:18:22.600 --> 00:18:26.860
and so I'm believing, and I know that,

282
00:18:27.820 --> 00:18:30.660
and I was just thinking about that new beginnings

283
00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:32.420
because it's the number eight,

284
00:18:32.760 --> 00:18:36.380
so I'm hoping this year will bring lots of new things.

285
00:18:36.820 --> 00:18:39.100
Yeah, we're hoping for you new beginnings

286
00:18:39.100 --> 00:18:40.920
in every area of your life

287
00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:42.880
that you will feel renewed, rejuvenated.

288
00:18:43.280 --> 00:18:46.480
I just release a spirit of acceleration over you

289
00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:49.700
in every area, even the areas that you've forgotten about.

290
00:18:49.760 --> 00:18:51.940
I just declared that the Lord is gonna bring acceleration

291
00:18:51.940 --> 00:18:53.220
and speed to your life.

292
00:18:53.300 --> 00:18:56.320
I just declare over you that this is a time of settlement.

293
00:18:56.520 --> 00:19:01.580
The Bible says that after we have gone for a while

294
00:19:01.580 --> 00:19:04.280
or become tired, that the Lord our God,

295
00:19:04.540 --> 00:19:06.880
he will come and he will strengthen us,

296
00:19:06.900 --> 00:19:09.960
he will make us perfect, and he will establish us.

297
00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:13.300
He will restore us, and then he will establish us,

298
00:19:13.300 --> 00:19:17.720
and so I just speak establishment over you, right?

299
00:19:17.780 --> 00:19:19.740
And so we thank God for this birthday.

300
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:22.680
We thank God for everything he has in store for you this year

301
00:19:22.680 --> 00:19:24.040
because he's already planned it.

302
00:19:24.100 --> 00:19:26.880
The Bible says that our God is the apple and the omega,

303
00:19:27.140 --> 00:19:30.080
not one, then the other, but all at the same time,

304
00:19:30.080 --> 00:19:32.000
and so we just declare that everything

305
00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:34.860
that heaven has for you, we stand in agreement as a body,

306
00:19:34.880 --> 00:19:36.440
and we call those things to be.

307
00:19:36.740 --> 00:19:38.140
In the very beginning, the Bible says

308
00:19:38.140 --> 00:19:41.280
that the earth was formed, was void and without form,

309
00:19:41.280 --> 00:19:43.580
and the spirit of God hovered over it,

310
00:19:43.580 --> 00:19:44.640
and then the Lord spoke,

311
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:46.560
and so tonight, we're agreeing with heaven,

312
00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:49.300
and we're speaking, so every void place,

313
00:19:49.620 --> 00:19:51.560
every area in your life that has not been formed,

314
00:19:51.760 --> 00:19:53.420
we speak over it, and we say,

315
00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:55.820
life, come alive, every dead place.

316
00:19:56.140 --> 00:19:57.400
Can these bones live?

317
00:19:57.760 --> 00:19:59.980
We decree and declare over your life that yes.

318
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:07.000
Every dry bone can live and we call for the wind of God to come and breathe upon your life.

319
00:20:07.340 --> 00:20:11.960
Every desolate area, every place that is thirsty and is in need of rain and water,

320
00:20:12.080 --> 00:20:18.080
we declare that your ladder should be greater than the former. Happy birthday.

321
00:20:21.560 --> 00:20:23.760
Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

322
00:20:23.780 --> 00:20:26.980
You are welcome. All right.

323
00:20:27.940 --> 00:20:44.000
Felicia. Felicia. Felicia, come in. Fine woman. Come in.

324
00:20:45.620 --> 00:20:49.860
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm here. Sorry about that.

325
00:20:50.250 --> 00:21:00.470
Um, oh, I should have, um, really updated my journey on the community page.

326
00:21:00.550 --> 00:21:03.770
And I just have not been doing that. I just was a bit exhausted.

327
00:21:04.350 --> 00:21:12.290
So I took some time yesterday, kind of requested by the gentleman I'm talking with,

328
00:21:13.450 --> 00:21:18.730
to just take a day. So I decided to do that and just take a whole day and just rest yesterday and

329
00:21:18.730 --> 00:21:22.610
some other days too, because I was just feeling tired.

330
00:21:23.250 --> 00:21:25.050
Yeah. Anyway, I was going to update that.

331
00:21:25.810 --> 00:21:32.190
Continuity seems to be a great person. His conversation is just so attractive.

332
00:21:33.870 --> 00:21:40.830
The masculine is mature. Um, I still go back and forth in my mind

333
00:21:40.910 --> 00:21:46.150
about the distance that we haven't met again since we met the first time.

334
00:21:48.110 --> 00:21:52.210
And I don't know why I just keep going back and forth in my mind, but whenever the talk come,

335
00:21:52.350 --> 00:21:57.430
I kind of think about how great this conversation is and all of that good stuff.

336
00:21:57.770 --> 00:22:04.070
And he said, you know, I can't say nothing's going to work until I try it.

337
00:22:04.070 --> 00:22:08.150
You know? So that's my only thing.

338
00:22:08.150 --> 00:22:14.730
I do go back and forth, like, I want this. And then I'm like, okay, nice conversation later.

339
00:22:14.730 --> 00:22:20.630
But I often say, I don't really want this because it's so long distance.

340
00:22:21.290 --> 00:22:24.890
I mean, he's three hours away, but I'm like, I think I'm going to give him another week.

341
00:22:25.610 --> 00:22:33.030
And if he doesn't, he said he's planning to make the second day, but I'm just like,

342
00:22:33.310 --> 00:22:37.790
in my mind, I'm going to give him a week or maybe a two weeks. And if he doesn't plan it,

343
00:22:38.570 --> 00:22:42.330
I'm just going to like, this is not going to work. Right.

344
00:22:42.330 --> 00:22:47.590
And his rest, we were talking about the rest part of it, where we talk about it the same

345
00:22:47.590 --> 00:22:52.230
night after coaching, and it was just a misunderstanding what it means when he said

346
00:22:52.230 --> 00:22:58.950
he rests. And then I started thinking about that. I do need someone like that who,

347
00:22:59.350 --> 00:23:04.630
because I don't really, I'm not a rest person. I really got to force myself to sit down

348
00:23:05.310 --> 00:23:10.470
and physically rest. I rest a lot in my mind, but not, I'm always moving, doing things.

349
00:23:11.190 --> 00:23:20.270
So he has a passion for that. And it was just reminding me of my past where he would just rest

350
00:23:20.270 --> 00:23:26.670
and not most likely just rest and not really care. But this is very different. No, that's

351
00:23:26.670 --> 00:23:31.850
on the phone. I don't see that in action. But that's another thing that kind of played with

352
00:23:31.850 --> 00:23:39.270
my mind. Like, am I going to be ignored and just, he's resting. So we talk about it. And I mentioned

353
00:23:39.270 --> 00:23:45.210
that when he's resting for that whole day, he waits to call me like in the evening. It's always

354
00:23:45.210 --> 00:23:49.730
a set time. He's going to call me in the evening. It's always going to be a phone call though,

355
00:23:49.730 --> 00:23:55.070
but during the day, and he said he's working on that. So what do you think?

356
00:23:56.190 --> 00:24:01.390
Okay. Well, what I do want to make mention of is the statement that you made when you said,

357
00:24:01.430 --> 00:24:04.950
if he doesn't play in the next one, two weeks, you're just going to tell him it's not going to

358
00:24:05.150 --> 00:24:12.130
for you. And so I think that if you not said anything that you've already said something,

359
00:24:12.250 --> 00:24:15.590
that's one thing. But if you're not said anything, he doesn't play in the next one or two weeks,

360
00:24:15.810 --> 00:24:19.830
instead of saying, you're going to tell him it's just not going to work for you because you are

361
00:24:19.830 --> 00:24:25.370
saying that he's, you like him, you enjoy talking to him, that he's good people. I would prefer you

362
00:24:25.370 --> 00:24:30.310
use a language that says, Hey, I was looking forward to the date that you had planned for,

363
00:24:30.350 --> 00:24:33.530
that you were going to plan for us. Where are you on it?

364
00:24:39.410 --> 00:24:45.350
Okay. I kind of give a little hint, but he said, you know, just, he wants to plan it right. So

365
00:24:45.350 --> 00:24:48.590
he won't take time off of work because I know his schedule is very different.

366
00:24:51.170 --> 00:24:57.790
So that's why I was saying that if I don't see him actually making that or doing it,

367
00:24:58.430 --> 00:24:59.890
made the plan, I was going to.

368
00:25:00.600 --> 00:25:04.440
Because I go back and forth in my mind about it so much, I don't know why.

369
00:25:04.900 --> 00:25:10.740
Well, so one way that we can avoid this back and forth in our mind and giving hints is

370
00:25:10.740 --> 00:25:18.400
to make our, what we want very clear and to just be real clear about what, what you expect.

371
00:25:19.900 --> 00:25:29.980
So two weeks come, then two weeks, one, two weeks come, whatever you're measuring, it

372
00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:31.020
doesn't plan anything.

373
00:25:31.360 --> 00:25:34.660
Then you say, I was looking forward to us spending time together.

374
00:25:34.900 --> 00:25:38.480
You're three hours away, and so it's already a strain.

375
00:25:38.860 --> 00:25:44.140
If we're not going to be able to plan, if we're not going to be able to plan and stick

376
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:50.180
with a routine that we'll see each other, then this relationship doesn't serve me this.

377
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:53.240
Okay.

378
00:25:53.320 --> 00:25:56.220
And you're saying that's kind of after the two weeks.

379
00:25:57.880 --> 00:25:59.520
You can do it in a week if you want.

380
00:25:59.520 --> 00:26:02.580
You can do it in two weeks, it's what you decide now.

381
00:26:02.580 --> 00:26:07.240
Because you said in a week or two weeks, but I'm just saying, I will prefer you to have

382
00:26:07.360 --> 00:26:08.880
very clear communications.

383
00:26:10.340 --> 00:26:17.020
And so that you can get, so when these expectations aren't met, you'll be able to clearly define

384
00:26:17.120 --> 00:26:18.340
why they weren't met.

385
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:20.900
You won't be, well, I know he be tired.

386
00:26:20.980 --> 00:26:22.120
Well, I know he'll be taking a rest day.

387
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:25.280
Well, I know he said this, so you know what this time, okay.

388
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:33.200
No, the clearer your expectations are, agreements are made, the more you can say, hey, this

389
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:34.580
is the agreement that we made.

390
00:26:34.700 --> 00:26:37.580
Would you like to share with me what happened?

391
00:26:38.840 --> 00:26:39.320
Okay.

392
00:26:39.420 --> 00:26:41.900
Then you can measure, is there an effort there?

393
00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:46.780
Is he even following up with you saying, I know that you were excited about us doing

394
00:26:46.780 --> 00:26:50.660
A, B, and C. I'm not going to be able to make that happen.

395
00:26:50.900 --> 00:26:53.040
This is what I will be able to do.

396
00:26:55.860 --> 00:26:56.420
Yeah.

397
00:26:59.600 --> 00:27:05.440
Cause he continues to say he's planning it, but he continued to say he's planning it.

398
00:27:05.620 --> 00:27:13.000
He's planning to come up, but I'm just like planning and acting is two different things.

399
00:27:13.080 --> 00:27:17.780
Well, when he says that, I want you to feel free to say, I understand that you're planning.

400
00:27:18.100 --> 00:27:22.180
Can you tell me, give me your possible dates that you have in mind?

401
00:27:22.180 --> 00:27:25.320
And then when he said, well, I haven't really looked at it, he said, I understand.

402
00:27:26.180 --> 00:27:28.180
This is what I would like to share with you.

403
00:27:28.320 --> 00:27:33.980
Because we are long distance, this is a strain and a stretch for me, but I was willing to

404
00:27:33.980 --> 00:27:35.340
invest to get to know you.

405
00:27:35.580 --> 00:27:43.620
But if we cannot have things, if we can't get it down on our calendars when we're going

406
00:27:43.620 --> 00:27:50.600
to be able to get together at least a tenant to date, then I'm not willing to pursue this

407
00:27:50.600 --> 00:27:51.060
any further.

408
00:27:51.740 --> 00:27:52.180
Okay.

409
00:27:52.560 --> 00:27:52.700
Yeah.

410
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:54.060
That sounds clear.

411
00:27:55.620 --> 00:27:55.620


412
00:27:56.700 --> 00:27:59.920
I'm going back and forth in my head about, do I want this?

413
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:00.920
Do I don't want this?

414
00:28:01.220 --> 00:28:02.460
And I'm having fun.

415
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:03.980
Like I was talking to my girlfriend today.

416
00:28:03.980 --> 00:28:06.760
She's very healthy and just amazing to talk to.

417
00:28:07.660 --> 00:28:09.380
I'm having a great time.

418
00:28:09.420 --> 00:28:11.740
I was asking her, am I taking this for a joke?

419
00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:13.400
And she said, I don't think so.

420
00:28:13.420 --> 00:28:17.160
We kind of worked it on and realized that I am having the fun that you said, just have

421
00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:18.120
fun with it.

422
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:21.040
And I think that's where I'm just having a great time.

423
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


424
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


425
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


426
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


427
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


428
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


429
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:21.040


430
00:28:21.040 --> 00:28:24.720
You know, the joy of the Lord is my strength.

431
00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:30.480
I've worked on that for many, many few years now to just laugh again, and I'm really having

432
00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:31.840
a great time with it.

433
00:28:31.840 --> 00:28:33.000
You know, I'm not stuck up.

434
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.640
I'm not, I see.

435
00:28:34.700 --> 00:28:36.880
I'm just so excited.

436
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:42.560
And, you know, I was talking about that today that finally the joy of the Lord has become

437
00:28:42.560 --> 00:28:43.300
my strength.

438
00:28:43.760 --> 00:28:45.420
And that makes me excited.

439
00:28:46.320 --> 00:28:46.880
Yeah.

440
00:28:47.280 --> 00:28:48.100
Well, that's good.

441
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:49.360
I'm excited for you.

442
00:28:49.380 --> 00:28:49.920
Yeah.

443
00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:50.300
Thank you.

444
00:28:50.300 --> 00:28:50.440
Yeah.

445
00:28:50.440 --> 00:28:53.940
So I'll come to the follow up and I'll be on the page because I like that too.

446
00:28:54.120 --> 00:28:54.680
Thank you, Ebony.

447
00:28:55.800 --> 00:28:56.200
You're welcome.

448
00:28:57.100 --> 00:28:58.020
Hey, Kim.

449
00:28:59.420 --> 00:29:00.220
Taylor's girl.

450
00:29:01.740 --> 00:29:02.140
Hello.

451
00:29:04.900 --> 00:29:09.640
Well, so I have a second date with the older gentleman.

452
00:29:11.580 --> 00:29:14.160
So my, you know, I think I told you last week, my birthday is Saturday.

453
00:29:14.380 --> 00:29:17.560
So he's, he wants to take me to this really nice restaurant for my birthday.

454
00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:19.460
So it's our second date.

455
00:29:21.500 --> 00:29:26.120
But I, you know, I still have this reservation about his age and I've been praying about

456
00:29:26.180 --> 00:29:26.620
it.

457
00:29:26.620 --> 00:29:29.960
And I said, Lord, I need you to be really clear with me.

458
00:29:30.560 --> 00:29:33.560
You know, everybody says it's a yes to let's a no.

459
00:29:33.580 --> 00:29:35.960
I said, if it's a no, you've got to say no.

460
00:29:35.960 --> 00:29:39.480
And you got to be really firm with me and say, Kim, it's a no.

461
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:45.660
Because, because I do have that hesitation, but at the same time, he's the best thing

462
00:29:45.660 --> 00:29:47.700
that I've found so far.

463
00:29:48.080 --> 00:29:55.240
I mean, so he's just, cause he's, you know, because he's older, so much older, he's just

464
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:56.160
a, you know, gentleman.

465
00:29:56.220 --> 00:29:59.960
I don't think he's got a lot of experience though, that, I mean, he was married for 57

466
00:29:59.960 --> 00:29:59.980
years.

467
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.900
years. And he married when I guess he was, you know, pretty

468
00:30:04.900 --> 00:30:08.340
young. So he doesn't have any dating experience. This is all

469
00:30:08.340 --> 00:30:14.040
new to him. So, but he is so forthcoming. The only thing is,

470
00:30:14.040 --> 00:30:16.400
it's a little scary is that he's very forthcoming with his

471
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:20.080
feelings. So he's very excited about me, because I am so much

472
00:30:20.520 --> 00:30:25.940
younger. And so he's, you know, he tells me how he feels, which,

473
00:30:26.760 --> 00:30:30.300
you know, I just think he's really genuine. I think he's

474
00:30:30.300 --> 00:30:34.300
just who he is. He's real. And it is kind of refreshing, but it

475
00:30:34.300 --> 00:30:37.820
is a little bit like, oh, you know, hold your feelings, Marv,

476
00:30:37.900 --> 00:30:40.780
because it's like, don't tell me everything that you're feeling

477
00:30:41.020 --> 00:30:43.640
because it's, you know, and I know he's not lovebombing or do

478
00:30:43.640 --> 00:30:46.240
anything like that. He's just super genuine, but he's just

479
00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:52.620
excited. Yeah. And so I just and I thought, well, I might have to

480
00:30:52.620 --> 00:30:55.300
tell him like, I already told him I said, you know, I just the

481
00:30:55.300 --> 00:30:57.140
only reservation I have a little bit is the age

482
00:30:57.160 --> 00:31:00.660
difference. And he said, Yeah, I know. And he goes, but I hope

483
00:31:00.660 --> 00:31:03.460
you give me a chance. And I said, Yeah, I said, Well, I am

484
00:31:03.460 --> 00:31:06.140
I mean, I'm excited to see you again. I am because we had a

485
00:31:06.300 --> 00:31:10.640
great conversation. And he just treats me like a lady. I mean,

486
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:17.200
he's just very, very chivalrous, very intentional, very kind.

487
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:22.880
He's got a lot of the fruits of the spirit. So anyway, so yeah,

488
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:30.420
right. What's that? He's 71. No, no, I'm 70. And I'm gonna be 70.

489
00:31:30.420 --> 00:31:31.840
And he's 82.

490
00:31:33.220 --> 00:31:33.940
That

491
00:31:35.040 --> 00:31:36.060
12 years.

492
00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:42.320
Right. I know. I want to be 71.

493
00:31:45.420 --> 00:31:50.140
Oh, so it's it's quite an age difference.

494
00:31:53.460 --> 00:31:56.920
Man, but he looks great for his age. He takes better care of

495
00:31:56.920 --> 00:32:00.380
himself than 80% of the people I'm seeing on Facebook dating

496
00:32:00.380 --> 00:32:04.960
that are my age. I'm sure he takes good care of himself. He

497
00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:08.560
doesn't have any health issues. He doesn't take any medicine. I

498
00:32:09.180 --> 00:32:09.660
do.

499
00:32:10.520 --> 00:32:12.860
Oh, yeah, I know the Lord trying to give you a good time

500
00:32:12.860 --> 00:32:14.360
when you go on about here.

501
00:32:16.680 --> 00:32:22.760
Yeah, I don't know. So I'm, I'm moving forward with it. I'm

502
00:32:22.760 --> 00:32:27.340
sure he'll probably ask me on a third date after this. But I'm,

503
00:32:27.800 --> 00:32:30.800
you know, and I just keep saying to the Lord, Lord, you know, let

504
00:32:30.800 --> 00:32:34.640
me know. I mean, he knows I don't you know, I don't know. I

505
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:37.240
don't know. Maybe this guy's gonna live a long, long life and

506
00:32:37.240 --> 00:32:40.980
he's gonna be great. I don't know. But anyway, I don't have

507
00:32:40.980 --> 00:32:44.320
anything else going right now. I kind of wish I did but and I

508
00:32:44.320 --> 00:32:46.260
could tell him you know, I just want to make sure you well I am

509
00:32:46.260 --> 00:32:48.900
gonna like kind of let him know I'm still dating for discovery

510
00:32:48.900 --> 00:32:53.420
and learning and and open to meeting people. I think you

511
00:32:53.420 --> 00:32:55.840
know, I'm not we're not in an exclusive relationship.

512
00:32:57.940 --> 00:33:02.300
Well, no, I think it is a really good experience for you. And I

513
00:33:02.300 --> 00:33:05.740
think that you should enjoy up front with him that you do

514
00:33:06.140 --> 00:33:07.300
reservations about the

515
00:33:09.560 --> 00:33:10.080
sometimes

516
00:33:13.060 --> 00:33:13.580
good

517
00:33:19.520 --> 00:33:20.360
that I was

518
00:33:25.780 --> 00:33:28.740
so yeah, I think that

519
00:33:30.340 --> 00:33:34.800
you just never know what the Lord is restoring. He could be

520
00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:38.960
bringing you can date me who treat you really well treat you

521
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:42.880
good and restore that part of you and put you back at the

522
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:46.940
standard of what God wants you to have for your life. And so

523
00:33:46.940 --> 00:33:49.640
you know, we're asking God just show me just show me he like

524
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:52.660
just enjoy. I'll show you when it's time you have to keep

525
00:33:52.660 --> 00:33:56.780
asking me I heard you. I want you to enjoy this enjoy this

526
00:33:57.840 --> 00:34:01.880
treatment. You know, and so I think that God is special in

527
00:34:01.880 --> 00:34:05.620
that way. You know, the last guy dated was really, really,

528
00:34:06.280 --> 00:34:10.300
really good to me. And we dated for five months and he was

529
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:14.620
amazing. Really good to me. I I've never had anybody treat me

530
00:34:14.620 --> 00:34:20.300
that way. Um, and so it was very restorative. In that way.

531
00:34:20.520 --> 00:34:25.159
It didn't he he's not he wasn't my spirit mate. It didn't. It

532
00:34:25.159 --> 00:34:27.600
was no reason like he did something so wrong. He just

533
00:34:27.600 --> 00:34:30.360
wasn't him. He's a believer in all those things, but it really

534
00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:33.460
did restore. And so I want to just caution you that and

535
00:34:33.560 --> 00:34:36.400
everybody, you never know why people come into your life. And

536
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:39.420
so a lot of times when we're on this journey, we're like, well,

537
00:34:39.420 --> 00:34:41.719
if I don't want to waste my time, I don't want but God is

538
00:34:41.719 --> 00:34:44.699
trying to get something to you. He's trying to raise your

539
00:34:44.780 --> 00:34:47.760
standards. So that when the one does come, you'll know how to

540
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:51.260
identify him. And when the one is not the one, you'll know how

541
00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:54.920
to identify that. But you have to really taste and see that

542
00:34:54.920 --> 00:34:58.940
God is good. You have to taste and see, you know, the one that

543
00:34:58.940 --> 00:34:59.980
may be coming may not

544
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.760
scheduled to next month. I believe sometimes God puts a wink in there and brings something our way

545
00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:08.980
just so we can have something. He knows the longing of our heart. I don't know why he does

546
00:35:08.980 --> 00:35:12.960
the thing he does. I've talked to people and they, you know, and all these different processes,

547
00:35:13.320 --> 00:35:18.260
you know, and it's like, wow, but this taught me this and this taught me my boundaries and

548
00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:22.380
this relationship helped build this in me. And this little thing I did with this guy helped

549
00:35:22.380 --> 00:35:29.080
build this in me. And on this journey, especially with this program, God just brings in through

550
00:35:29.080 --> 00:35:35.320
dating, through relationships, brings in all these things to restore us and sharpen us and

551
00:35:35.320 --> 00:35:40.680
weed things out of us and help us get solid in the areas that's going to serve us best in marriage.

552
00:35:41.260 --> 00:35:46.340
And so that's why it is such a huge miss out when we want an Amazon package.

553
00:35:48.240 --> 00:35:54.920
Because you're not only rejecting the little sting of hurt you may feel, you're also rejecting

554
00:35:54.920 --> 00:35:59.720
the goodness that God wants to get through, get to you. And he gets it to us through people.

555
00:36:01.860 --> 00:36:11.200
And so that makes so much sense to me. That's really making sense. Yeah. So enjoy. Yeah. Thanks.

556
00:36:11.040 --> 00:36:17.060
Yeah. You're welcome. Yay. Okay. Heaven.

557
00:36:22.100 --> 00:36:27.780
Oh, so if some of y'all, if y'all put your hand up and you like, I know I was before that person.

558
00:36:28.040 --> 00:36:33.760
I don't know them. I don't know. I struggle with when the hands come up, especially when it's on

559
00:36:33.760 --> 00:36:39.380
my little phone. So it's not personal. And if I did do that, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to do that.

560
00:36:40.120 --> 00:36:48.780
Go ahead here. Okay. No problems. So I just went on the third in-person date with the guy from last

561
00:36:48.780 --> 00:36:55.120
week earlier this afternoon, actually. I made sure to set the time for when the date was over

562
00:36:55.120 --> 00:36:59.160
to where I can make it back to the call tonight. I was like, I have to do it this time.

563
00:37:01.740 --> 00:37:06.900
But we went to Chinatown today and it was really fun. I live in Chicago for anyone who doesn't

564
00:37:06.900 --> 00:37:11.520
in Chinatown in Chicago, really cool. I mean, he had never been to, he lives like two hours away.

565
00:37:11.580 --> 00:37:17.760
So I told him that we had to go there and it was really fun. He asked me today about like past

566
00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:22.540
dating history. So we talked about that a little bit. I appreciated that he hadn't brought it up

567
00:37:22.540 --> 00:37:26.920
until now because we've known each other for like two months or so. So I felt like it wasn't

568
00:37:27.060 --> 00:37:33.220
super soon, which I appreciated that. And so he doesn't have much dating experience and neither

569
00:37:33.220 --> 00:37:37.440
do I because he didn't really start dating until after college. I didn't really start dating until

570
00:37:37.520 --> 00:37:41.920
the end of college within COVID long break and then started again. So we're kind of on the

571
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:48.020
similar playing field with that. And neither of us have really had super serious relationships before.

572
00:37:48.120 --> 00:37:53.680
So it was nice to talk about that. I didn't feel like either of us were like oversharing in that

573
00:37:53.680 --> 00:38:02.620
way either. So that was nice. And he actually was talking about how he was glad that I told him I

574
00:38:02.620 --> 00:38:08.680
had been like talking for like a month or so, which I only did because we talked about it. I

575
00:38:08.680 --> 00:38:13.200
think in some form, I think that I did that update a few months ago that I told him that, and that

576
00:38:13.200 --> 00:38:18.520
was purely because from the coaching in this, in the last year single. So I appreciated that because

577
00:38:18.520 --> 00:38:24.600
he said that it let him know that I was interested in him because he wasn't quite sure. And I would

578
00:38:24.600 --> 00:38:31.240
have never done that before this program. So I was like, wow, go me, go us, go coaching, all the things.

579
00:38:32.720 --> 00:38:39.260
But yeah, it was really nice. I do like him. He said that he also likes me and I do enjoy like

580
00:38:39.260 --> 00:38:45.920
spending time with him. And so I'm just leaving it there for now. So yeah, it was good. It was good.

581
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:50.800
And at the end, he did ask if he could chase me. And I said, I would love for that to not be now.

582
00:38:51.200 --> 00:38:54.960
Oh, I would love to like wait a little longer. And he felt bad. And I had to reassure him that

583
00:38:54.960 --> 00:39:00.940
it was okay that he asked, because I prefer that you ask than not ask. So yeah, it was overall

584
00:39:00.940 --> 00:39:07.480
good thing. He asked you if he could kiss you or text you? Kiss me. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah.

585
00:39:07.780 --> 00:39:13.160
And I was like, I prefer to wait because you know, like we're not exclusive and still all the other

586
00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:17.780
things. And so, but he felt bad. He's like, oh, okay. I'm sorry. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

587
00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:23.920
I'm glad you asked. I prefer you asked me. We just talked about early. So I had to like reassure him

588
00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:35.360
before he left. I'm glad you asked. I just don't want to now. So hopefully he felt better

589
00:39:35.400 --> 00:39:39.980
leaving. But yeah, it was just funny because he like whispered it because we were in public and

590
00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:49.620
it was just so funny. But yeah, so it was a good day. I'm happy that I wait because I wasn't feeling

591
00:39:49.620 --> 00:39:54.640
before. So I was kind of like, if he hadn't come two hours, I would have tried to reschedule,

592
00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:59.300
but I'm glad I went. I started feeling better once we were walking around. So it was good.

593
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:00.860
Way to go.

594
00:40:02.100 --> 00:40:02.100


595
00:40:02.100 --> 00:40:02.120
Thank you.

596
00:40:02.520 --> 00:40:03.380
You are welcome.

597
00:40:03.520 --> 00:40:04.860
I'm so excited for you.

598
00:40:05.080 --> 00:40:05.620
Thank you.

599
00:40:05.960 --> 00:40:06.180
Thank you.

600
00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:08.560
Jenny?

601
00:40:10.340 --> 00:40:10.880
Hello.

602
00:40:11.400 --> 00:40:11.860
Hello.

603
00:40:12.260 --> 00:40:15.360
So I just got into phase two.

604
00:40:16.720 --> 00:40:20.040
And I met a guy organically at the Tigers game.

605
00:40:20.240 --> 00:40:24.980
I'm from Michigan, on a VFW bus trip benefit.

606
00:40:25.100 --> 00:40:26.540
So I was just with friends.

607
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:29.740
I literally announced the day before, OK.

608
00:40:29.740 --> 00:40:32.260
Listen, I'm in this dating thing.

609
00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:34.660
And I need to announce I'm going in the dating scene.

610
00:40:34.840 --> 00:40:35.680
It's been three and a half years.

611
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:36.720
So you know how this works.

612
00:40:37.520 --> 00:40:40.260
And a guy I met, he is a Christian.

613
00:40:40.860 --> 00:40:44.720
He knows Jesus, but he's not actively participating in church.

614
00:40:46.440 --> 00:40:47.440
Seems genuine.

615
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:48.880
We've been talking.

616
00:40:49.900 --> 00:40:54.020
I have just kind of some reservations of where he's at and like.

617
00:40:54.980 --> 00:40:56.640
With God and

618
00:40:57.860 --> 00:40:58.820
his heart.

619
00:41:00.360 --> 00:41:03.200
Is it something I need to say, OK, he doesn't go to church,

620
00:41:03.240 --> 00:41:06.460
I should just stop right now, or should I continue pursuing him?

621
00:41:08.920 --> 00:41:10.220
Getting to know him?

622
00:41:13.340 --> 00:41:14.120
You like?

623
00:41:15.040 --> 00:41:16.280
Yeah, I think he's attractive.

624
00:41:16.560 --> 00:41:17.240
He's single.

625
00:41:17.500 --> 00:41:20.500
He doesn't have kids, just like he's in my same age category.

626
00:41:21.180 --> 00:41:25.500
We have the same likes, dislikes so far.

627
00:41:27.260 --> 00:41:30.560
I just want to do this right, the right way, you know,

628
00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:34.120
from from previous relationships and this him being my first one,

629
00:41:34.120 --> 00:41:37.300
I don't want to jump on in, but I go to church, I'm active.

630
00:41:37.460 --> 00:41:40.900
It's at least 35, 40 percent of my week.

631
00:41:40.900 --> 00:41:43.700
I'm going to Bible study and he's been absent in the church.

632
00:41:44.360 --> 00:41:46.800
Right. For some time. Right.

633
00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:51.740
So he's actually I told him that,

634
00:41:52.380 --> 00:41:55.060
you know, I'm looking for a man who would lead spiritually.

635
00:41:55.660 --> 00:41:58.220
And he's like, well, would you mind if I come to your church?

636
00:41:59.260 --> 00:42:03.620
So kind of I was assuming I'd be like declining his offer, you know,

637
00:42:03.620 --> 00:42:07.600
but then it's like, well, do I do I invite him to church events?

638
00:42:07.680 --> 00:42:10.180
Do I see if he's really genuine about that?

639
00:42:10.180 --> 00:42:12.100
Or is he just seeking me through church?

640
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:15.540
Right. So you don't do any of those things.

641
00:42:15.740 --> 00:42:17.920
You don't see if he's really genuine.

642
00:42:18.100 --> 00:42:21.220
It's not your job to get him in that way.

643
00:42:21.380 --> 00:42:24.120
So right now you're just dating to get to know him.

644
00:42:24.120 --> 00:42:27.740
You can. Now, he has a level of attraction

645
00:42:27.740 --> 00:42:31.480
and you realize that you're very attracted to him and you really like him

646
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:36.140
and that you are getting emotionally attached and that doesn't serve you best

647
00:42:36.160 --> 00:42:40.120
because he doesn't have the foundation that you're necessarily looking for.

648
00:42:40.220 --> 00:42:44.080
But if you enjoy his company, he could very well

649
00:42:44.240 --> 00:42:47.440
be worth investigating to see what his character is like,

650
00:42:47.440 --> 00:42:50.240
because a person can serve in the church and not have a character

651
00:42:50.920 --> 00:42:52.360
strength at all.

652
00:42:52.880 --> 00:42:54.440
I see it every day.

653
00:42:55.240 --> 00:42:58.980
I serve with leaders and I've seen things you would not.

654
00:43:00.340 --> 00:43:02.460
You shouldn't fathom out of a leader.

655
00:43:03.200 --> 00:43:07.140
So what I'm saying is I think if he's a great guy

656
00:43:07.140 --> 00:43:10.660
and you find that he has good character, like he's good to get to know.

657
00:43:10.820 --> 00:43:12.980
But if you find yourself getting attached,

658
00:43:13.620 --> 00:43:17.460
then you're going to have to reel yourself back in.

659
00:43:17.460 --> 00:43:22.020
If you have an issue with attaching quickly,

660
00:43:22.660 --> 00:43:25.220
you may want to date another person at the same time.

661
00:43:25.340 --> 00:43:26.800
I don't know how you feel about that.

662
00:43:27.040 --> 00:43:29.240
You know, if you feel like there's too much.

663
00:43:29.940 --> 00:43:32.020
But don't vet him. Enjoy him.

664
00:43:32.680 --> 00:43:33.940
OK. And enjoy you.

665
00:43:34.340 --> 00:43:37.960
The best way to enjoy you is to enjoy him and let him be who he is.

666
00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:40.780
Don't even think to yourself, I wish he went to church.

667
00:43:41.260 --> 00:43:42.940
I wonder. I wonder this.

668
00:43:43.100 --> 00:43:47.160
I wonder that because all of those things speed up your process.

669
00:43:47.160 --> 00:43:50.080
You're going to find a way to figure it out as a woman.

670
00:43:50.220 --> 00:43:52.840
You're going to find a way to ask little questions.

671
00:43:53.680 --> 00:43:55.000
And that's not what you want.

672
00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:58.120
What you want to do is to get to know a person organically.

673
00:43:58.580 --> 00:44:02.060
That's going to give you the greatest capacity for your husband.

674
00:44:03.100 --> 00:44:04.680
Hmm. OK. Yeah.

675
00:44:04.680 --> 00:44:06.540
That's that's where you get the bang for your buck,

676
00:44:06.540 --> 00:44:08.620
where you can date a person that's safe

677
00:44:08.700 --> 00:44:11.680
and you can discover you in the process of safety.

678
00:44:12.040 --> 00:44:13.640
That's good. Yeah.

679
00:44:13.640 --> 00:44:15.400
Or in the community of safety,

680
00:44:15.660 --> 00:44:19.700
and you cover you with the same person that you're actually going on a date with.

681
00:44:19.880 --> 00:44:21.580
You treat it well.

682
00:44:22.540 --> 00:44:24.920
OK, thank you so much. You're welcome.

683
00:44:28.380 --> 00:44:29.140
Yes, Sina.

684
00:44:31.500 --> 00:44:34.080
All right. Oh,

685
00:44:34.600 --> 00:44:37.260
yes, I'm because I'm getting ready.

686
00:44:38.200 --> 00:44:39.320
Oh, because.

687
00:44:40.140 --> 00:44:41.520
Well, I'm going speed dating.

688
00:44:41.520 --> 00:44:44.160
Oh, so I'm wondering any tips.

689
00:44:45.400 --> 00:44:46.660
I've never gone speed dating.

690
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:49.640
Anybody ever gone speed dating has tips.

691
00:44:49.860 --> 00:44:51.760
Can you unmute and tip now?

692
00:44:53.020 --> 00:44:54.760
Thank you. Yeah.

693
00:44:54.940 --> 00:44:57.460
Questions prepared. I didn't do that.

694
00:44:58.440 --> 00:44:59.980
You didn't get prepared, Ashley.

695
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.140
I didn't have no questions prepared, but I mean it was still fun, but that's what I would say just like have some fun questions if you can, sorry.

696
00:45:08.420 --> 00:45:08.720
Okay.

697
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:12.620
Fun question. Just chat GPT girl.

698
00:45:14.340 --> 00:45:18.400
I'm going to steal some prompts from like the Christian dating apps.

699
00:45:19.100 --> 00:45:24.680
Yeah, you can ask AI what are some fun prompts to have.

700
00:45:25.520 --> 00:45:29.600
What are some fun questions to ask that speed dating. I mean they can lay them out.

701
00:45:30.660 --> 00:45:30.980
That's true.

702
00:45:31.540 --> 00:45:34.000
I also asked my pastor for some advice.

703
00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:40.580
You can get extra pass but if you're passing out of the day on some fun topics you should talk to AI.

704
00:45:41.340 --> 00:45:42.480
Oh, all the past.

705
00:45:43.440 --> 00:45:45.540
He gave me some good ones he

706
00:45:46.080 --> 00:45:47.680
wanted to know.

707
00:45:48.620 --> 00:45:53.060
Yeah, I don't want you. I don't want you to come with a bunch of super spiritual one.

708
00:45:54.240 --> 00:45:55.600
On a lab.

709
00:45:56.620 --> 00:45:58.380
One adult topics.

710
00:45:58.380 --> 00:46:08.860
Yes. Yeah, he like he had one like a ask them about their favorite movie or book, and how what resonated with them is what he, one of his questions.

711
00:46:09.340 --> 00:46:14.640
Yeah, I can talk about themselves and stuff like that. I like that.

712
00:46:15.720 --> 00:46:21.020
Yeah, so prayers appreciated. Thank you. You're welcome. Have fun.

713
00:46:21.220 --> 00:46:23.880
Thank you. You're welcome Hilda.

714
00:46:25.820 --> 00:46:30.160
Am I unmuted. Okay. Hi. Hi everyone. Good evening.

715
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:39.620
I'm in the second, I just recently started the second stage here. So I'm fairly new.

716
00:46:40.760 --> 00:46:43.800
I'm not overly excited right now I'm kind of bummed.

717
00:46:45.320 --> 00:46:47.800
I, I did put an ad out.

718
00:46:48.080 --> 00:47:02.200
Excuse me, I went on an upward I think I use upward, and I put I said let me try with that one because I've tried to bumble and I've tried all the other ones for a couple years and I didn't like the, what was what was a different person back then.

719
00:47:02.200 --> 00:47:21.240
So, but I said well let me try upward and see if there's, you know, I mean, anything there so I didn't connect with someone, he was very into church he we quoted scripture left and right he prayed for me I prayed for him we talked about our families,

720
00:47:21.880 --> 00:47:27.900
I mean everything seemed well it was fine. It was exciting exchange pictures.

721
00:47:28.720 --> 00:47:41.980
And then we, he's, he sends me a message saying he's thinking about me and we even made a first date, we were going to, you know, do our first date so our first day was supposed to be Saturday.

722
00:47:42.760 --> 00:47:57.840
And so I think the last time I spoke with him was Friday, and I told him, you know, I gave him two choices I think we can either go to stop and get something to eat here, or we can go to the park and grab some coffee and just walk and talk, because it was, it's been

723
00:47:57.840 --> 00:48:03.580
beautiful weather here in Jersey so I said, let's, let's do that he goes well we can do both. I'm like, Okay.

724
00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:08.020
And then, ever since that. It's been crickets.

725
00:48:10.420 --> 00:48:14.580
And just like that there's no explanation, no nothing.

726
00:48:15.820 --> 00:48:27.020
And I'm like, I just, you know, I came from that I'm kind of mentally exhausted from that and just, I don't know I just, you know, my birthday is on the 24th, and I was hoping that you know we would.

727
00:48:27.740 --> 00:48:46.200
I would have at least a date before then but I mean, you know, I at least I'm not the good thing is at least I'm not feeling like I was feeling on stage one where phase one where when there was rejection or where there was somebody that was an avoidant or, or

728
00:48:46.200 --> 00:49:00.260
someone that just kind of, you know, just ghosted. It was really hard to recover at least I can say proudly that the inner work has worked because it did bother me a lot, but I did, I became a lot more resilient.

729
00:49:00.260 --> 00:49:17.420
And I just spoke with myself and I said, Okay, God, so I guess if this was something you wanted, it just would not it would it would have came through so I'm just gonna answer I just trust that you have something I mean there's gonna be false people out there and I don't know why though.

730
00:49:17.880 --> 00:49:31.200
I'm always the kind of person that gets stuck in analytics like why would you go through all that energy, talk to someone, all this all this all that like I didn't even get to see him yet, and go through all that and I think we're grown people.

731
00:49:31.200 --> 00:49:37.880
I'm 52 I'm like, I'm grown like you're grown like you, you have time.

732
00:49:39.240 --> 00:49:57.720
Right, like, I don't know I barely have time to do this stuff, you know, and so anyway that's where that's where I'm at ebony. So, um, yeah I don't know I don't know what sites to go to. I mean, really, if anybody has feedback on that. And, yeah, just got to keep pressing on.

733
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.680
that happened, that is discouraging.

734
00:50:02.040 --> 00:50:04.180
And it doesn't feel right.

735
00:50:04.220 --> 00:50:05.400
Yeah, and it was like the first,

736
00:50:05.580 --> 00:50:07.520
and it was like, it's really discouraging

737
00:50:07.720 --> 00:50:11.420
because it was the first site that I went to

738
00:50:11.500 --> 00:50:12.460
in my phase two.

739
00:50:12.560 --> 00:50:13.280
This is, I'm starting,

740
00:50:13.500 --> 00:50:15.260
that was the first person I spoke with,

741
00:50:15.540 --> 00:50:17.620
the first site I went to,

742
00:50:17.740 --> 00:50:19.760
the first site I put my profile,

743
00:50:19.980 --> 00:50:21.340
like this was the very first,

744
00:50:21.360 --> 00:50:23.280
I'm like, Lord, what is going on?

745
00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:24.360
There's gotta be a reason.

746
00:50:25.060 --> 00:50:26.120
Did I go to the first?

747
00:50:26.400 --> 00:50:28.520
If this is like, I'm going in phase two,

748
00:50:28.520 --> 00:50:30.600
it's my first, it's like, I don't know.

749
00:50:30.720 --> 00:50:32.880
It's like, it's just the way it happened.

750
00:50:33.780 --> 00:50:34.260
I know.

751
00:50:35.860 --> 00:50:38.780
Well, ladies, if you can drop your favorite site

752
00:50:38.780 --> 00:50:43.860
in the chat, that'd be good.

753
00:50:44.620 --> 00:50:46.100
Somebody just said their first experience,

754
00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:47.140
they got ghosted.

755
00:50:47.600 --> 00:50:49.860
I do wanna share this with you, Hilda.

756
00:50:49.880 --> 00:50:51.680
I think that it's gonna get better.

757
00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:52.780
It always does.

758
00:50:53.180 --> 00:50:56.140
Your experience is not far from many of the experiences

759
00:50:56.140 --> 00:50:58.360
that a lot of ladies have had in here,

760
00:50:59.300 --> 00:51:00.260
including myself.

761
00:51:01.380 --> 00:51:02.580
Online dating is,

762
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:05.580
it can be challenging and it can be fun.

763
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:07.160
It's up and flows.

764
00:51:08.440 --> 00:51:11.680
One thing that I wanna tell you,

765
00:51:11.820 --> 00:51:12.960
I wanna help you with it

766
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:14.860
or set you up for a little bit of success.

767
00:51:16.280 --> 00:51:18.580
So what you wanna do is,

768
00:51:18.780 --> 00:51:20.380
once you start chatting with a person

769
00:51:20.380 --> 00:51:21.900
after the second day,

770
00:51:22.620 --> 00:51:23.220
second or third day,

771
00:51:23.220 --> 00:51:24.840
you wanna date within a week.

772
00:51:25.520 --> 00:51:27.160
You don't need a pen pal.

773
00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:29.060
You don't need a texting buddy.

774
00:51:29.600 --> 00:51:30.620
You wanna date.

775
00:51:31.860 --> 00:51:32.440
Yeah, I did that.

776
00:51:32.540 --> 00:51:34.760
It was after the third conversation.

777
00:51:35.320 --> 00:51:36.860
After the third conversation, you set it up.

778
00:51:37.260 --> 00:51:38.820
What you wanna avoid talking about

779
00:51:38.820 --> 00:51:41.140
is your children praying together.

780
00:51:41.980 --> 00:51:42.760
None of that matters.

781
00:51:42.960 --> 00:51:44.860
You want surface level conversations.

782
00:51:46.700 --> 00:51:50.420
So this, I don't know if you watched the dating one-on-one

783
00:51:50.560 --> 00:51:52.080
or any of the boundaries.

784
00:51:52.440 --> 00:51:53.480
I did.

785
00:51:53.480 --> 00:51:55.600
Yeah, about boundaries and talking about that.

786
00:51:55.960 --> 00:51:55.960


787
00:51:57.540 --> 00:51:58.980
Yeah, I did.

788
00:51:59.380 --> 00:52:01.600
Well, he prayed for me because I was just saying,

789
00:52:01.680 --> 00:52:04.540
I was your man of,

790
00:52:05.780 --> 00:52:07.660
no, because he kept always like,

791
00:52:07.820 --> 00:52:10.480
he would naturally just pray for me.

792
00:52:10.780 --> 00:52:11.440
So I was like,

793
00:52:12.120 --> 00:52:13.800
so I thought that, yeah.

794
00:52:14.160 --> 00:52:15.020
Not accusatory.

795
00:52:15.620 --> 00:52:17.040
Well, I talked to a person one time

796
00:52:17.040 --> 00:52:17.940
and they just prayed

797
00:52:17.940 --> 00:52:19.360
and it was before I could stop them

798
00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:20.100
and it was just like,

799
00:52:20.460 --> 00:52:22.520
I'll let them slide, right?

800
00:52:22.520 --> 00:52:23.580
If I continue to go,

801
00:52:23.980 --> 00:52:24.980
I'll tell them like,

802
00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:26.980
hey, let's just hold off on that.

803
00:52:27.060 --> 00:52:28.300
So I get it, how it can happen,

804
00:52:28.360 --> 00:52:29.700
but I was just giving some pointers.

805
00:52:30.120 --> 00:52:31.980
I don't know exactly how that happened,

806
00:52:32.460 --> 00:52:34.680
but to spare you more like a,

807
00:52:34.980 --> 00:52:36.320
it's all rejection.

808
00:52:36.560 --> 00:52:37.540
It seems like rejection,

809
00:52:37.660 --> 00:52:38.400
but when somebody says,

810
00:52:38.560 --> 00:52:39.520
no, I don't wanna go any further,

811
00:52:39.680 --> 00:52:40.320
that's what he said.

812
00:52:40.360 --> 00:52:42.000
It feels a bite or a sting.

813
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:43.900
And so I'm trying to take some of the bite

814
00:52:43.920 --> 00:52:45.900
and the sting out of the process.

815
00:52:46.200 --> 00:52:47.820
May still be a little sting,

816
00:52:48.080 --> 00:52:49.340
but something you said

817
00:52:49.340 --> 00:52:50.960
that I thought that was really important,

818
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:52.580
you was like, well,

819
00:52:52.580 --> 00:52:54.660
Lord, why did you even let all of this happen?

820
00:52:54.920 --> 00:52:55.920
And then you say it,

821
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:58.020
but I bounced back quicker this time.

822
00:52:58.340 --> 00:53:01.760
And it's important that we see the work that we've done

823
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:04.260
and how resilient we have become.

824
00:53:04.840 --> 00:53:05.960
Because in marriage,

825
00:53:05.980 --> 00:53:07.520
it's gonna require resilience.

826
00:53:08.020 --> 00:53:09.820
In marriage, it's gonna require bounce back

827
00:53:09.820 --> 00:53:11.420
after you get let down

828
00:53:11.420 --> 00:53:13.780
or after your husband lies to you

829
00:53:13.780 --> 00:53:15.260
or after something happens,

830
00:53:15.500 --> 00:53:16.800
after you feel like what he did

831
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:18.060
was a betrayal to you.

832
00:53:18.500 --> 00:53:19.820
Even if it was said something

833
00:53:19.820 --> 00:53:21.180
you didn't like in front of somebody,

834
00:53:21.280 --> 00:53:22.720
you're gonna have to learn how to be resilient

835
00:53:22.720 --> 00:53:23.900
and bounce back.

836
00:53:25.160 --> 00:53:26.620
So it's not to,

837
00:53:27.880 --> 00:53:29.320
oh, like it didn't produce anything.

838
00:53:29.360 --> 00:53:31.280
It did produce something and you testified.

839
00:53:31.680 --> 00:53:33.740
You testified to that when you were speaking.

840
00:53:35.240 --> 00:53:37.780
And then another little tip I wanna add too.

841
00:53:39.080 --> 00:53:41.480
A lot of times it's like,

842
00:53:41.700 --> 00:53:43.160
oh Lord, why do you even go through all that?

843
00:53:43.260 --> 00:53:44.320
Why do you even let that happen?

844
00:53:44.420 --> 00:53:45.200
Why didn't you just stop?

845
00:53:45.240 --> 00:53:47.120
I know if you wanted to this,

846
00:53:47.180 --> 00:53:49.320
sometimes that could get a little sticky for us

847
00:53:49.320 --> 00:53:51.220
because Hilda, you are dating.

848
00:53:51.660 --> 00:53:54.160
There're gonna be some men that come along your path

849
00:53:54.160 --> 00:53:56.020
just to serve you growth.

850
00:53:57.880 --> 00:53:58.520
Okay.

851
00:53:58.860 --> 00:54:01.740
And so if they're serving you growth,

852
00:54:01.800 --> 00:54:03.140
you've been served.

853
00:54:05.140 --> 00:54:09.600
And it don't necessarily has to do so much with God,

854
00:54:09.640 --> 00:54:11.260
just like if you get on a conversation

855
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:15.000
and you talk about emotional things too soon.

856
00:54:15.360 --> 00:54:18.700
And then, and you talk about things,

857
00:54:18.700 --> 00:54:21.800
that doesn't best serve to create

858
00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:23.720
an organic connection too early.

859
00:54:24.100 --> 00:54:25.940
Your emotions get involved too early.

860
00:54:26.240 --> 00:54:27.380
And then when it falls apart,

861
00:54:27.460 --> 00:54:28.320
you go back to God and say,

862
00:54:28.380 --> 00:54:29.440
why did you even let that happen?

863
00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:30.540
He didn't let that happen.

864
00:54:30.940 --> 00:54:32.900
You didn't operate in wisdom.

865
00:54:34.220 --> 00:54:36.020
It had you operating in wisdom,

866
00:54:36.140 --> 00:54:38.340
what you experienced, you wouldn't have experienced.

867
00:54:38.820 --> 00:54:39.600
Does that make sense?

868
00:54:40.420 --> 00:54:41.460
Yeah, that makes sense.

869
00:54:41.840 --> 00:54:43.120
I was, now that you were talking,

870
00:54:43.320 --> 00:54:43.840
like I was,

871
00:54:45.160 --> 00:54:46.620
before we got into the call, I said,

872
00:54:46.620 --> 00:54:52.260
okay, I'm gonna really write down like a series of questions

873
00:54:52.940 --> 00:54:55.720
that will allow me to know more about them.

874
00:54:55.880 --> 00:54:57.560
I want them to be the ones talking.

875
00:54:57.900 --> 00:54:59.600
And so, I mean, this guy was talking.

876
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.360
I he told me I'm a I raised my kids, I, I have three, three

877
00:55:05.360 --> 00:55:08.580
children, each of them, they went to college, they're

878
00:55:08.580 --> 00:55:11.660
teachers, they're this and that. And he's went through the whole

879
00:55:11.660 --> 00:55:16.040
thing. I'm an open book. I'm, you know, I, I liked going to

880
00:55:16.040 --> 00:55:19.120
church, I do this, I do that, that, that, that, that, that,

881
00:55:19.120 --> 00:55:22.120
that, that. And then we're talking and everything. Oh, and

882
00:55:22.120 --> 00:55:25.200
I enjoy this. Oh, I enjoy that, too. And then we went into that

883
00:55:25.200 --> 00:55:30.500
kind of stuff, you know, yeah, in that he, he prayed for for

884
00:55:30.500 --> 00:55:33.800
me on his own. And I said, Well, thank you. That was very nice of

885
00:55:33.560 --> 00:55:36.600
you. And then that was it. And then he's like, Okay, good. Well,

886
00:55:36.600 --> 00:55:40.760
I like what I see. I'd like to, you know, you know, get to, you

887
00:55:40.760 --> 00:55:43.860
know, you know, meet with you and all that. And so and then

888
00:55:43.860 --> 00:55:48.380
that's what I mean, you know, I, I selected a spot and he goes, I

889
00:55:48.380 --> 00:55:50.980
can get to you. There's no problem. Like it was everything

890
00:55:50.980 --> 00:55:55.680
like, check, check, check. But when it's check, check, check

891
00:55:55.680 --> 00:55:59.680
too fast, I think. And you don't have enough information from

892
00:55:59.680 --> 00:56:03.700
that person. I think that then, then I think that's what I need

893
00:56:03.860 --> 00:56:05.140
to walk in wisdom.

894
00:56:06.180 --> 00:56:09.380
I think that well, so let me let me double back when you said we

895
00:56:09.380 --> 00:56:12.460
talked about keys, Matt, when I heard we I thought you meant

896
00:56:12.460 --> 00:56:14.700
like you talked about your kids with him also.

897
00:56:15.640 --> 00:56:22.240
Well, yeah, yeah. So he told me, yeah, like, they just, he had

898
00:56:22.240 --> 00:56:25.500
two kids. I have two kids. That kind of conversation. Yeah,

899
00:56:25.500 --> 00:56:26.620
that's it. Not like,

900
00:56:26.660 --> 00:56:30.200
what else? I didn't want you to think that I was accusing you or

901
00:56:30.200 --> 00:56:33.560
something that you didn't do. But this is what I sense you

902
00:56:33.560 --> 00:56:37.220
cleared that up. This is what I want to say. It is helpful

903
00:56:37.220 --> 00:56:42.940
Hilda to remember that me and most men, and I'm one that I

904
00:56:42.940 --> 00:56:48.200
coach, men will say I'm an open book. Sometimes me and feel like

905
00:56:48.200 --> 00:56:50.640
I'm gonna tell you everything up front so you can make a decision

906
00:56:50.640 --> 00:56:54.300
want to move forward. Why do they do that? Now this guy came

907
00:56:54.300 --> 00:56:58.740
to be a no show. But why do they do it? Because sometimes, a lot

908
00:56:58.740 --> 00:57:01.620
of times men will invest more than women invest because

909
00:57:01.620 --> 00:57:04.540
they're usually paying for things. And so they're kind of

910
00:57:04.540 --> 00:57:06.760
like, let me just get all this stuff up front before I start

911
00:57:06.760 --> 00:57:09.560
spending my money. If she don't want me she can say something

912
00:57:09.560 --> 00:57:14.420
that could be their motive. And it's okay for them to do that.

913
00:57:14.640 --> 00:57:17.340
And so what you put on your notes while you're dating when

914
00:57:17.340 --> 00:57:22.780
they're sharing, say, Oh, thanks for sharing. That's it. And

915
00:57:22.780 --> 00:57:25.400
they said, Well, what about you? Do you have children? You? You

916
00:57:25.400 --> 00:57:28.260
can say you have children? Yes, I have children. And then they

917
00:57:28.260 --> 00:57:31.960
start asking more things that you're not ready to talk about.

918
00:57:32.040 --> 00:57:34.580
Like, what are your past relationships about? Or what are

919
00:57:34.580 --> 00:57:37.540
you looking for here? Say? Oh, that's a great question. Maybe

920
00:57:37.540 --> 00:57:39.420
that's something we can talk about over coffee.

921
00:57:41.600 --> 00:57:44.300
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he didn't ask anything deep.

922
00:57:45.200 --> 00:57:48.500
But you say you want to know next time what you can do when

923
00:57:48.500 --> 00:57:51.740
you have questions reading. And so these are things that you can

924
00:57:51.740 --> 00:57:55.140
say because men will overshare.

925
00:57:56.920 --> 00:57:57.360
Okay.

926
00:57:58.020 --> 00:58:02.860
And this is it. And so when that when people overshare, there is

927
00:58:02.860 --> 00:58:05.000
a pressure. I don't know about other people, there's a pressure

928
00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:07.520
to give them something back in return for what they just gave.

929
00:58:09.040 --> 00:58:15.620
And it helps me to have things aligned on standby that I use.

930
00:58:17.760 --> 00:58:21.680
And so the language is sometimes what we're missing. And so we

931
00:58:21.680 --> 00:58:24.060
don't know what to say, we'll just give in and be like, okay,

932
00:58:24.100 --> 00:58:26.140
what I share something, I'm not gonna be like that. I don't

933
00:58:26.140 --> 00:58:30.620
mind sharing. But you're not being like that. You're setting

934
00:58:30.620 --> 00:58:33.820
it up to give you the best success at the end.

935
00:58:36.920 --> 00:58:39.300
Does that make sense? What I'm saying to you?

936
00:58:40.140 --> 00:58:43.420
Yeah, yeah, it makes sense. I guess like it just you really

937
00:58:43.420 --> 00:58:46.820
got to be really savvy with the questions to see and how much

938
00:58:46.820 --> 00:58:52.080
you're sharing how much you're not sharing on the I have to

939
00:58:52.080 --> 00:58:56.480
look at it again. But the when it comes to questions and how

940
00:58:56.480 --> 00:58:59.040
much to share how much not to share. I got to look at that

941
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:02.360
again. But yeah, I got to have

942
00:59:02.360 --> 00:59:06.760
X AI for some icebreaker first day questions. And that's what

943
00:59:06.760 --> 00:59:10.360
you can talk about. And really, if you can get a date within the

944
00:59:10.360 --> 00:59:13.560
first week, unless the second week that that cuts back how

945
00:59:13.560 --> 00:59:16.600
much time you talk anyway, before you see them.

946
00:59:18.840 --> 00:59:21.500
Yeah, well, I thought I was moving along. I was like, good.

947
00:59:21.640 --> 00:59:25.200
We were connecting and he's he's like, I'm looking for my my

948
00:59:25.200 --> 00:59:29.980
roof and throwing all that, you know, swag. I think he was just

949
00:59:29.980 --> 00:59:33.880
a bunch of swag. But it just make it just kind of like what

950
00:59:33.880 --> 00:59:37.720
why would someone at this point in time of their life this

951
00:59:37.720 --> 00:59:42.700
season, if that's a true, they would just waste people's time

952
00:59:42.700 --> 00:59:46.120
like that. I just I don't see the point of that. But I had I

953
00:59:46.120 --> 00:59:49.720
got over it. But I need to I thought I was doing good

954
00:59:49.720 --> 00:59:52.340
because I was on my it was just my third conversation I was

955
00:59:52.340 --> 00:59:56.220
already moving into. Let's go get some coffee and talk. And

956
00:59:56.260 --> 00:59:58.860
then yeah, so I don't know what happened.

957
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.380
Mindful not to measure if you're doing good by his decision

958
01:00:05.920 --> 01:00:08.520
What do you mean you did do good

959
01:00:10.380 --> 01:00:15.720
His what he did how he responded doesn't determine if you did well or not

960
01:00:17.100 --> 01:00:23.140
And so what happens is when we try to analyze why somebody do what they do like this is the first time you bounce back

961
01:00:23.140 --> 01:00:25.900
But it's gonna happen again. I mean, it's gonna ghost

962
01:00:26.700 --> 01:00:30.900
Yeah, nothing to do with you Hilda you showed up and gave your best self

963
01:00:33.400 --> 01:00:36.840
It is no reflection on you at all it's a reflection on him

964
01:00:37.860 --> 01:00:43.440
Yeah, no, I meant like in the sense that I thought that I asked the right questions

965
01:00:43.440 --> 01:00:46.840
I moved the conversation along into an actual me

966
01:00:47.640 --> 01:00:53.080
I got the information that I felt comfortable with up and that I I needed just

967
01:00:53.080 --> 01:00:58.600
Initially and then I would get to know more on the actual, you know face-to-face

968
01:00:58.600 --> 01:01:02.420
Yeah, and so I thought I I mean like I thought I had

969
01:01:03.180 --> 01:01:05.520
What do you call it screened him enough to get?

970
01:01:06.180 --> 01:01:11.400
Been through like the process and you know in a way that was going to get me

971
01:01:13.160 --> 01:01:19.120
You know the the first meet and then see how they're doing right like so I thought that was done right but

972
01:01:19.120 --> 01:01:25.560
Yeah, I think whatever you did I don't know exactly what you guys talked about it sounds like you did good

973
01:01:25.560 --> 01:01:32.320
I just gave you some tips on how to like bumper proof yourself. Um, I don't think that you do. Well

974
01:01:32.320 --> 01:01:36.860
I just don't want you to hold yourself accountable for a decision that somebody else made

975
01:01:37.640 --> 01:01:42.100
And I just want you to know that it's working

976
01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:48.500
Everything that you did in heart work has to be ironed out and now you're building your muscles

977
01:01:49.120 --> 01:01:54.220
And so they range that things like this happen thinking that's strange when you get ghosted

978
01:01:54.220 --> 01:01:57.820
You get a chance to see that you're resilient that you can handle it

979
01:01:58.400 --> 01:02:03.620
Thinking that's strange and when you get ghosted and you keep replaying in your mind while somebody do this while somebody do this you start

980
01:02:03.620 --> 01:02:08.440
To say hey, I'm so glad they showed me who they were ahead of time. Oh, yeah

981
01:02:08.960 --> 01:02:10.760
But I see

982
01:02:11.620 --> 01:02:18.060
Yeah, yeah, it feels empowering to like just to bounce back like that

983
01:02:18.800 --> 01:02:25.140
Normally I couldn't do that before and it would take me a long time to get over that but and I started getting like

984
01:02:25.720 --> 01:02:32.940
You know self-sabotaging thoughts and stuff like that. So so yeah, so that's a good that's that's what God's showing me

985
01:02:35.960 --> 01:02:40.980
You don't I don't know how you say you have a 50 I can't act I really thought you were like

986
01:02:42.300 --> 01:02:46.860
Probably early 40s. You you're beautiful. Oh, thank you. Thank you

987
01:02:48.900 --> 01:02:54.920
Thank you good, thank you everyone you oh, yeah everyone. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I'm not say you're welcome

988
01:02:54.920 --> 01:02:58.380
I'm like she say everyone. All right. Yep, Joanne. Hey girl

989
01:03:00.180 --> 01:03:02.180
Thank you, hi

990
01:03:02.600 --> 01:03:09.580
Hey, honey, that picture of you is too pretty what picture I feel like I can't even see myself. Oh like my

991
01:03:10.080 --> 01:03:12.440
Your zone. Oh

992
01:03:12.440 --> 01:03:14.880
Well, that's really nice of you. Um

993
01:03:14.880 --> 01:03:18.940
Yeah, it's been a while well actually hasn't been a while that's only

994
01:03:20.680 --> 01:03:24.260
Well, I finally responded to your message I didn't even see it there

995
01:03:24.260 --> 01:03:30.660
I actually I sent you one and didn't get seen and then when you responded back, I never even saw it. Oh

996
01:03:31.400 --> 01:03:36.300
Okay, um, no worries don't worry about it, um, so I have updates

997
01:03:37.460 --> 01:03:41.460
I think I have two dates lined up this week. So that's good

998
01:03:42.680 --> 01:03:45.860
I haven't lined up like the actual time and

999
01:03:46.940 --> 01:03:51.700
Place and date, but it's gonna happen. So I had I had a second date with Tony

1000
01:03:52.180 --> 01:03:55.040
He's very sweet. He's such a sweet guy

1001
01:03:55.080 --> 01:04:01.540
I think he's such a great friend, but I don't know if it's I'm not feeling I want to be more than friends

1002
01:04:02.040 --> 01:04:04.740
But I just appreciate him as a person

1003
01:04:06.840 --> 01:04:10.360
So I am willing to go on a third day he just asked me this morning

1004
01:04:10.360 --> 01:04:15.260
Do you want to meet up? But I said, yeah, we can so we have to figure out where when it's not stuff

1005
01:04:15.260 --> 01:04:19.720
But yeah, I have us I have a couple concerns, of course, right?

1006
01:04:21.780 --> 01:04:28.720
Well, he told me he told me like, you know, I mean he's pretty honest and I'm pretty honest, too

1007
01:04:28.720 --> 01:04:33.360
he told me like he's I don't even know how it came up, but he basically is

1008
01:04:34.420 --> 01:04:39.400
Talking to this girl like he has no interest, but they were set up, but he's not interested

1009
01:04:39.400 --> 01:04:44.700
But they like talk every week and like last week they talked like twice a week or something and I was like, okay

1010
01:04:45.380 --> 01:04:47.740
Didn't ask more about it because I didn't want to dig right?

1011
01:04:48.500 --> 01:04:54.520
So I'm like not really not I'm feeling a little weird about that, but I'm not not I don't know if I'm interested

1012
01:04:54.520 --> 01:04:59.980
So I didn't say anything and then every person he told me this in the beginning when we first started chatting

1013
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.700
and he told me like, or I don't know if he told me,

1014
01:05:03.900 --> 01:05:05.820
but I just found whatever I was.

1015
01:05:06.260 --> 01:05:08.700
Okay, so I know that he,

1016
01:05:09.460 --> 01:05:11.400
every person he's dated exclusively,

1017
01:05:12.420 --> 01:05:13.740
I think there's four girls,

1018
01:05:13.860 --> 01:05:16.080
like he broke up with every one of them.

1019
01:05:15.900 --> 01:05:19.160
There's, he's never been like broken, like, yeah.

1020
01:05:19.320 --> 01:05:21.840
And I asked a little bit why, and I just listened.

1021
01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:22.660
I said, oh, okay.

1022
01:05:22.700 --> 01:05:26.560
But I'm like, I feel like there's something deeper to it

1023
01:05:26.560 --> 01:05:29.980
with like fear of intimacy for him, you know?

1024
01:05:29.980 --> 01:05:33.700
So, so those are my thoughts about Tony.

1025
01:05:34.520 --> 01:05:36.340
I'm not physically attracted to him,

1026
01:05:36.340 --> 01:05:37.760
but he's just a really sweet guy.

1027
01:05:37.860 --> 01:05:39.800
Like I want him as my friend.

1028
01:05:42.140 --> 01:05:43.000
Uh-oh, you're muted.

1029
01:05:43.180 --> 01:05:43.880
I can't hear you.

1030
01:05:43.880 --> 01:05:45.000
No, I wasn't trying to talk to you.

1031
01:05:45.020 --> 01:05:47.880
I was trying to ask my roommate to give me the charger.

1032
01:05:48.100 --> 01:05:49.720
And I realized, even though I'm muted,

1033
01:05:49.780 --> 01:05:51.480
you're gonna see my mouth moving.

1034
01:05:53.360 --> 01:05:54.000
I'm so sorry.

1035
01:05:54.320 --> 01:05:56.900
You have something to say, I need to hear her.

1036
01:05:56.900 --> 01:05:57.600
Okay.

1037
01:05:59.640 --> 01:06:01.600
Okay, did you want to respond to that?

1038
01:06:01.720 --> 01:06:03.820
Or I have another, another-

1039
01:06:03.820 --> 01:06:07.060
No, no, actually, because my phone's about to go dead,

1040
01:06:07.280 --> 01:06:08.540
the volume keeps dropping.

1041
01:06:08.660 --> 01:06:10.400
I'm like, I gotta get my charger right now.

1042
01:06:10.420 --> 01:06:12.900
So I muted it, asked my roommate to bring me my charger

1043
01:06:12.900 --> 01:06:14.200
because I didn't want to walk away.

1044
01:06:14.580 --> 01:06:18.060
And then she said something back and it took my thought.

1045
01:06:18.540 --> 01:06:19.980
Tell me what you just said.

1046
01:06:20.140 --> 01:06:21.660
He told you that he dated,

1047
01:06:22.860 --> 01:06:24.580
he's talked to this person twice,

1048
01:06:24.960 --> 01:06:26.620
and you were like, oh, thank you.

1049
01:06:26.620 --> 01:06:28.780
And you didn't dig into it.

1050
01:06:28.820 --> 01:06:29.400
Oh, well-

1051
01:06:29.400 --> 01:06:30.060
Start back right there.

1052
01:06:30.320 --> 01:06:32.040
He basically shared like,

1053
01:06:34.320 --> 01:06:36.180
he's kept in touch with this girl that

1054
01:06:36.180 --> 01:06:38.160
they went on like two or three dates or something,

1055
01:06:38.380 --> 01:06:39.240
but he's not interested,

1056
01:06:39.360 --> 01:06:41.380
but they like talk every week on the phone.

1057
01:06:41.440 --> 01:06:44.900
But then that last week, he talked to her like twice,

1058
01:06:44.900 --> 01:06:46.300
like Thursday and Friday night.

1059
01:06:46.300 --> 01:06:48.400
And then we met up Saturday and I just was like,

1060
01:06:48.440 --> 01:06:49.100
oh, interesting.

1061
01:06:49.300 --> 01:06:51.060
I didn't really like it.

1062
01:06:52.520 --> 01:06:54.940
But I mean, I don't really have a place to say anything

1063
01:06:54.940 --> 01:06:56.780
because it's not like I'm into him

1064
01:06:56.780 --> 01:06:57.860
or I'm trying to be exclusive.

1065
01:06:57.980 --> 01:06:59.260
So I didn't say anything, right?

1066
01:06:59.260 --> 01:07:00.780
But I was like, that's weird.

1067
01:07:00.940 --> 01:07:03.920
And then he told me how,

1068
01:07:04.260 --> 01:07:07.600
I found out or how somehow in the conversation,

1069
01:07:09.540 --> 01:07:13.680
yeah, he's had four relationships and each one of them,

1070
01:07:13.720 --> 01:07:14.860
he's broken up with them.

1071
01:07:16.100 --> 01:07:18.540
And so I think there's something deeper with intimacy.

1072
01:07:18.660 --> 01:07:20.860
I think he's even revealed a little bit about that.

1073
01:07:20.940 --> 01:07:21.680
And he even told me,

1074
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:23.840
remember Tony's very honest.

1075
01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:27.240
And he said, he's bad at relationships, Joanne.

1076
01:07:27.320 --> 01:07:28.760
I'm really bad at relationships.

1077
01:07:28.960 --> 01:07:31.160
I'm like, okay, well, what are you doing about it?

1078
01:07:31.160 --> 01:07:33.480
And he's like, well, I'm going to therapy and blah, blah.

1079
01:07:33.660 --> 01:07:35.140
Like, okay, cool, all right.

1080
01:07:35.160 --> 01:07:36.600
And then we had to end the day anyway.

1081
01:07:37.440 --> 01:07:40.100
So I just have some concerns, right?

1082
01:07:40.100 --> 01:07:42.120
That's why I'm like, I think he's a better friend

1083
01:07:42.120 --> 01:07:44.980
than like a relationship consideration, like a romantic.

1084
01:07:45.240 --> 01:07:46.940
And I'm not physically attracted to him

1085
01:07:46.940 --> 01:07:47.880
or anything like that.

1086
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:50.760
I can grow, but I don't think I can grow with him

1087
01:07:50.760 --> 01:07:51.860
with a physical attraction.

1088
01:07:52.400 --> 01:07:55.480
That's my scoop on Tony, but do you have any thoughts?

1089
01:07:55.840 --> 01:07:57.680
Did you, did she just go away?

1090
01:07:58.600 --> 01:07:59.300
I'm here.

1091
01:07:59.640 --> 01:08:01.420
Oh, okay, my screen went away.

1092
01:08:01.620 --> 01:08:02.660
Oh, okay.

1093
01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:04.960
Yeah, somebody said, yikes, do you want a project?

1094
01:08:05.040 --> 01:08:07.540
I think that you should just go ahead and let Tony go.

1095
01:08:08.680 --> 01:08:11.320
I have not heard you talk one time

1096
01:08:11.320 --> 01:08:12.720
and it sounded like you wanted Tony.

1097
01:08:13.960 --> 01:08:16.560
I mean, not as like a romantic person.

1098
01:08:16.620 --> 01:08:19.560
I feel like he's just such a sweet guy though.

1099
01:08:19.560 --> 01:08:21.880
Like he's such a good friend.

1100
01:08:22.319 --> 01:08:24.040
Right, well, tell him y'all are just friends

1101
01:08:24.260 --> 01:08:26.020
and be done with it.

1102
01:08:26.160 --> 01:08:26.819
Okay, to be done.

1103
01:08:26.819 --> 01:08:28.399
Oh, I already told him, yes, we can.

1104
01:08:28.460 --> 01:08:29.279
All right, we'll see.

1105
01:08:29.380 --> 01:08:30.399
We'll see what happens.

1106
01:08:31.100 --> 01:08:32.960
Look, now, you better not come back

1107
01:08:32.960 --> 01:08:34.600
talking about Tony a month later.

1108
01:08:34.700 --> 01:08:36.580
And we already said you about to cut him out.

1109
01:08:36.600 --> 01:08:38.020
Can you let me send this?

1110
01:08:38.020 --> 01:08:39.960
Cause I just told him, yeah, that's fine.

1111
01:08:39.960 --> 01:08:41.060
And then I just told you.

1112
01:08:41.319 --> 01:08:43.260
So I feel bad if I were to be like, I don't know.

1113
01:08:43.380 --> 01:08:45.540
What did you tell him that y'all could date?

1114
01:08:45.660 --> 01:08:48.220
Or, I mean, you told me y'all don't want friendship

1115
01:08:48.220 --> 01:08:50.100
or you want to see where it goes romantically.

1116
01:08:50.300 --> 01:08:52.460
Oh no, I just said, sure, we can meet up again.

1117
01:08:52.740 --> 01:08:53.040
That's all.

1118
01:08:53.560 --> 01:08:55.380
But you, there's nothing wrong

1119
01:08:55.380 --> 01:08:56.680
with you meeting up with him.

1120
01:08:57.040 --> 01:08:58.660
Yeah, I think after the third day,

1121
01:08:58.660 --> 01:09:02.060
I just wanted to confirm and maybe tell him in person

1122
01:09:02.060 --> 01:09:03.460
if I still feel the same way.

1123
01:09:03.660 --> 01:09:04.859
I really enjoyed this.

1124
01:09:04.880 --> 01:09:05.620
You're a great friend.

1125
01:09:05.779 --> 01:09:07.399
I know like that, you know?

1126
01:09:07.420 --> 01:09:09.020
Cause I don't think you are meeting him.

1127
01:09:09.060 --> 01:09:10.340
He's such a good person.

1128
01:09:10.439 --> 01:09:14.120
Yeah, and I think he knows your heart toward him as well.

1129
01:09:14.140 --> 01:09:17.460
I don't think he would think that you misused him.

1130
01:09:17.460 --> 01:09:19.600
No, no, he wouldn't think that way.

1131
01:09:19.620 --> 01:09:20.620
We've been very honoring.

1132
01:09:21.620 --> 01:09:23.720
Yeah, so there's nothing wrong with it.

1133
01:09:23.720 --> 01:09:25.859
I thought, I wasn't saying don't meet up with him.

1134
01:09:26.120 --> 01:09:27.760
I was saying, I agree with you.

1135
01:09:27.960 --> 01:09:31.140
I don't think based on the way you've been sharing

1136
01:09:31.140 --> 01:09:32.520
that you're interested in him.

1137
01:09:33.120 --> 01:09:34.020
Nah, I'm not.

1138
01:09:34.080 --> 01:09:35.140
I'm just trying to be open.

1139
01:09:35.640 --> 01:09:36.500
Yeah, okay, cool.

1140
01:09:36.500 --> 01:09:37.380
So that's Tony.

1141
01:09:37.960 --> 01:09:44.240
And then I met this, well, I haven't met him.

1142
01:09:44.640 --> 01:09:47.140
I think it's on some Christian app

1143
01:09:47.140 --> 01:09:49.560
and he was pretty direct.

1144
01:09:49.720 --> 01:09:50.439
I appreciate it.

1145
01:09:50.479 --> 01:09:53.979
He's like, he lives close to me, which is hallelujah.

1146
01:09:54.900 --> 01:09:57.980
Like six miles away, praise the Lord.

1147
01:09:58.220 --> 01:09:59.120
You know what I mean?

1148
01:09:59.480 --> 01:09:59.980
Yeah.

1149
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.100
So, um, we got on a quick phone call because he already basically asked me to this out

1150
01:10:07.100 --> 01:10:08.200
to this restaurant.

1151
01:10:08.220 --> 01:10:09.120
So he's a foodie.

1152
01:10:09.160 --> 01:10:09.720
He cooks.

1153
01:10:09.740 --> 01:10:10.440
It's awesome.

1154
01:10:10.560 --> 01:10:15.300
And then he suggested, uh, to, to, to go there.

1155
01:10:15.960 --> 01:10:16.760
And I said, sure.

1156
01:10:16.760 --> 01:10:18.040
Well, let's get on a quick phone call.

1157
01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:23.300
Cause I wanted to make sure like I would be okay, like through the phone.

1158
01:10:23.380 --> 01:10:24.980
And I was like, he seems like a decent guy.

1159
01:10:25.780 --> 01:10:29.620
So, um, but the place is so popular.

1160
01:10:29.620 --> 01:10:34.320
So the first opening is two weeks or actually it was two weeks from like last weekend.

1161
01:10:34.860 --> 01:10:39.920
So he suggested, well, like yesterday I wasn't doing well, I I'm off still, still feeling

1162
01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:45.400
very exhausted, but he suggested, Oh, if you want to, you know, like do some self care,

1163
01:10:45.420 --> 01:10:47.260
I can take you out to boba and ice cream.

1164
01:10:47.260 --> 01:10:51.100
And I said, no, let's, let's, let's do it, um, this weekend.

1165
01:10:51.940 --> 01:10:58.800
So we're going to meet up this weekend and, um, do some, uh, probably get some dessert

1166
01:10:58.800 --> 01:10:59.460
or something.

1167
01:10:59.840 --> 01:11:02.200
And so I'm excited to meet him.

1168
01:11:02.200 --> 01:11:04.820
I don't, I don't know too much about him.

1169
01:11:05.680 --> 01:11:07.900
Um, I haven't really talked to him too much.

1170
01:11:07.980 --> 01:11:09.540
I know he's highly educated.

1171
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:11.420
He goes to church.

1172
01:11:11.440 --> 01:11:12.820
He's very active.

1173
01:11:12.960 --> 01:11:14.140
He's incredibly smart.

1174
01:11:15.540 --> 01:11:21.080
Um, so yeah, I mean, the only thing is I do feel

1175
01:11:21.080 --> 01:11:21.580
a little head.

1176
01:11:21.680 --> 01:11:25.360
He did tell me that he's a little, feels a little distant from God.

1177
01:11:25.480 --> 01:11:26.460
I'm very charismatic.

1178
01:11:26.700 --> 01:11:30.080
He's not, but he didn't seem judgmental or like weirded out by it.

1179
01:11:30.080 --> 01:11:32.660
So I was like, okay, well, we'll see.

1180
01:11:33.540 --> 01:11:37.460
Um, also, you know, he does martial arts and I kind of feel iffy about martial arts because

1181
01:11:37.460 --> 01:11:39.700
it kind of has this weird, you know,

1182
01:11:41.180 --> 01:11:41.200
Yeah.

1183
01:11:43.040 --> 01:11:43.480
What?

1184
01:11:44.940 --> 01:11:45.820
Same pattern.

1185
01:11:47.560 --> 01:11:48.440
Just go.

1186
01:11:49.000 --> 01:11:49.000


1187
01:11:49.080 --> 01:11:49.900
I am.

1188
01:11:49.900 --> 01:11:50.520
I am.

1189
01:11:58.440 --> 01:11:59.480
I am.

1190
01:12:01.380 --> 01:12:04.860
I'm going on a date with him this weekend, like Friday or Saturday or something.

1191
01:12:04.860 --> 01:12:08.680
And stop thinking about martial arts and stop thinking about how close he is with Jesus.

1192
01:12:09.000 --> 01:12:10.340
He is not your husband.

1193
01:12:10.500 --> 01:12:11.260
He's a man.

1194
01:12:11.340 --> 01:12:16.300
You're going to have lunch or something with all he is right now.

1195
01:12:16.300 --> 01:12:20.080
That's all you need to know right now that you don't think he's a killer.

1196
01:12:20.140 --> 01:12:22.060
You think he's safe to go with.

1197
01:12:22.340 --> 01:12:23.640
That's how it matters.

1198
01:12:23.880 --> 01:12:25.140
I know he's decent.

1199
01:12:25.340 --> 01:12:26.280
I feel he's decent.

1200
01:12:26.980 --> 01:12:29.140
I'm telling you, things change.

1201
01:12:29.320 --> 01:12:33.580
Not when you develop emotional attachment, but when you get to see people for who they

1202
01:12:34.060 --> 01:12:38.740
are, I, some people can be distant from God over one disappointment.

1203
01:12:38.920 --> 01:12:41.580
I pray for God to save my mom and he didn't come through.

1204
01:12:41.580 --> 01:12:46.300
And when you find out that they're offended with him and they somehow get some healing,

1205
01:12:46.600 --> 01:12:48.020
they are a completely different person.

1206
01:12:48.180 --> 01:12:53.400
I'm not saying this to him, but these early judgments and nitpicking and pulling apart

1207
01:12:53.400 --> 01:12:57.240
and saying, well, if this is this, and this is this, and this, this, and this is this,

1208
01:12:57.600 --> 01:13:04.640
I know your brain because I have one of those brains, but you have to stop and see people

1209
01:13:04.640 --> 01:13:05.700
for people.

1210
01:13:06.620 --> 01:13:08.180
And that's all it is.

1211
01:13:09.720 --> 01:13:10.280
Okay.

1212
01:13:10.540 --> 01:13:11.380
Greatest investment.

1213
01:13:11.380 --> 01:13:12.940
I mean, you can make in you, Joanne.

1214
01:13:13.940 --> 01:13:14.460
Okay.

1215
01:13:14.460 --> 01:13:14.920
Okay.

1216
01:13:14.920 --> 01:13:15.380
I will.

1217
01:13:15.660 --> 01:13:18.140
So I'm, I feel pretty good about these options.

1218
01:13:19.640 --> 01:13:21.340
I'm like other decent people.

1219
01:13:21.380 --> 01:13:21.720
Okay.

1220
01:13:21.720 --> 01:13:22.400
I will.

1221
01:13:22.420 --> 01:13:23.700
I will follow your advice.

1222
01:13:24.660 --> 01:13:29.560
Um, I have a couple, two people that I'm like talking to that are like very long distancy

1223
01:13:30.180 --> 01:13:33.120
and like it was referred by a friend and he's amazing.

1224
01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:34.900
Like I felt the presence of God.

1225
01:13:34.920 --> 01:13:36.660
Like I think I wrote, I wrote a comment.

1226
01:13:36.660 --> 01:13:42.160
I was like, seriously had an encounter with the Lord about like, stop limiting me, Joanne.

1227
01:13:42.280 --> 01:13:46.500
Like I can do this for you with all things God, you know, all things are possible.

1228
01:13:46.660 --> 01:13:47.380
I hadn't counted.

1229
01:13:47.420 --> 01:13:50.060
I didn't tell this Martin guy I didn't count her about my marriage.

1230
01:13:50.120 --> 01:13:50.920
That's so freakish.

1231
01:13:51.480 --> 01:13:51.960
Right.

1232
01:13:52.500 --> 01:13:59.100
Um, but I really feel spiritually like, wow, this guy cares the father's heart and never

1233
01:13:59.100 --> 01:13:59.620
heard from him.

1234
01:13:59.620 --> 01:14:01.720
But then we were texting here and there.

1235
01:14:01.720 --> 01:14:03.800
And then finally he was like, Oh, you want to chat again?

1236
01:14:03.820 --> 01:14:04.520
I said, sure.

1237
01:14:04.520 --> 01:14:08.220
But he's really bad with texting, like super bad.

1238
01:14:08.360 --> 01:14:11.180
Like he'll be like, Oh, it's like a week or two, but it goes by.

1239
01:14:11.360 --> 01:14:12.480
He's like, Oh, I'm so sorry.

1240
01:14:13.600 --> 01:14:18.880
Um, so it's just like a struggle of finding time with Martin to find time that works for

1241
01:14:18.880 --> 01:14:19.660
both of us.

1242
01:14:20.720 --> 01:14:24.420
And you know, I don't even know what's going on with him.

1243
01:14:24.440 --> 01:14:26.620
I don't know if he's even interested or whatever.

1244
01:14:26.700 --> 01:14:29.280
I just figure, dude, I didn't count on with the Lord.

1245
01:14:29.740 --> 01:14:31.420
I'd be edified talking to him again.

1246
01:14:31.820 --> 01:14:32.660
It's fine.

1247
01:14:32.660 --> 01:14:33.140
I don't care.

1248
01:14:33.140 --> 01:14:38.960
You know, but I'm kind of like thinking realistically, like if a guy has a hard time even setting

1249
01:14:38.960 --> 01:14:44.940
up, you know, like texting or communicating, like just, you know, and he's all the way

1250
01:14:44.940 --> 01:14:49.260
in East Coast, like I'm not sure the chances of something happening is very high.

1251
01:14:49.540 --> 01:14:50.180
You know what I mean?

1252
01:14:50.380 --> 01:14:50.920
But I'm right.

1253
01:14:51.220 --> 01:14:54.020
I'm like, still like, Oh, he's a good brother in Christ.

1254
01:14:54.040 --> 01:14:56.820
I'm still willing to talk to him, but I don't know.

1255
01:14:56.840 --> 01:14:59.600
I feel like guys sometimes or people in general.

1256
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.920
They're like after a couple attempts of trying to like schedule they're like, uh

1257
01:15:04.920 --> 01:15:07.420
Like I don't know that kind of happened with another person

1258
01:15:08.200 --> 01:15:12.440
That um, I started talking to you in florida because I went to florida last weekend

1259
01:15:12.820 --> 01:15:16.220
Or two weekends and we were trying to meet up but never happened

1260
01:15:16.260 --> 01:15:20.220
And we still texted and we we were supposed to get on facetime yesterday

1261
01:15:20.640 --> 01:15:23.300
And he flaked he just was like no, I can't make it anymore

1262
01:15:23.300 --> 01:15:24.420
I mean he didn't like yeah

1263
01:15:24.420 --> 01:15:28.980
He kind of flaked and that kind of bothers me to be honest because i'm like time is so valuable

1264
01:15:28.980 --> 01:15:31.720
Like i'm very busy. I know he's very busy

1265
01:15:31.980 --> 01:15:37.000
But to just be like can't make it, you know kind of pissed me off to be honest

1266
01:15:37.280 --> 01:15:40.340
Well, yeah, I can see you. Uh being offended by that

1267
01:15:40.940 --> 01:15:45.920
I mean, I moved on i'm just like as I moved on i'm not like holding it onto it or anything

1268
01:15:46.100 --> 01:15:49.520
It's like no offense whether you hold on to the fence or not

1269
01:15:49.520 --> 01:15:53.460
You could feel offended by that you were expecting you were excited you planned

1270
01:15:53.760 --> 01:15:56.940
You took out time and this person flaked like don't feel good

1271
01:15:56.940 --> 01:16:01.100
If it's your best friend that flake it don't feel good. If it's your mama that flake it don't feel good

1272
01:16:01.100 --> 01:16:04.300
It don't matter who it is. It's a little offensive like

1273
01:16:05.260 --> 01:16:06.860
Not just if it's a guy

1274
01:16:07.360 --> 01:16:09.800
I I get you. I agree with you

1275
01:16:10.280 --> 01:16:16.040
Yeah, so i'm like I just I don't know I guess how much effort do I put in to I just say okay

1276
01:16:16.040 --> 01:16:19.780
Whenever you're free just if you want to connect you can reach out to me. He's like, okay

1277
01:16:20.340 --> 01:16:23.420
So I just hold on to it loosely. I don't know what else i'm just like

1278
01:16:24.440 --> 01:16:30.120
I lost stock in it. I think that sorry about this. Um, my

1279
01:16:32.160 --> 01:16:36.140
Um, hold up because i'm on my phone a call is coming through let me stop this

1280
01:16:42.460 --> 01:16:42.980
Um

1281
01:16:43.440 --> 01:16:43.900
Hmm

1282
01:16:49.740 --> 01:16:55.500
No, I think that when a person does that if you want to keep them around you just keep them over on the sideline

1283
01:16:55.620 --> 01:16:58.680
I think it's important. We learn how to categorize individuals

1284
01:17:00.100 --> 01:17:01.020
and let

1285
01:17:01.420 --> 01:17:06.020
How they show up let that be something that tells you about

1286
01:17:06.460 --> 01:17:11.120
Them now, I don't have to be a negative way. It could have been this was the first experience I had

1287
01:17:11.120 --> 01:17:15.480
This is interesting. And so like you said like hey, well whenever you want to meet up again

1288
01:17:15.480 --> 01:17:19.520
Reach out to me and i'll see if I have some availability. That's it

1289
01:17:19.520 --> 01:17:21.440
Then you set that over to the corner

1290
01:17:21.860 --> 01:17:26.560
And you leave it be and be thankful that people show you who they are

1291
01:17:27.560 --> 01:17:31.340
And then when they get to come back and show you another person you can accept that too

1292
01:17:31.560 --> 01:17:36.660
Because you didn't dwell on it. You didn't make up a scenario about them. You didn't give a script to it

1293
01:17:36.660 --> 01:17:41.900
Like oh wow, and I tell people like hey, oh wow, we can't that's disappointing

1294
01:17:42.160 --> 01:17:45.940
I was really looking forward to it. So this is how we're gonna move forward

1295
01:17:46.540 --> 01:17:49.940
Let me know when you i'll put the ball in your court

1296
01:17:49.960 --> 01:17:55.220
Next time you want to you reach out. Let me know and i'll let you know if i'm available

1297
01:17:56.180 --> 01:17:57.920
You think it's okay for me to say?

1298
01:17:57.980 --> 01:18:03.440
Oh, what a bummer. I was really looking forward to it, especially because we really tried to find a time

1299
01:18:03.440 --> 01:18:04.680
You think that's okay to say?

1300
01:18:04.680 --> 01:18:06.080
I will say

1301
01:18:06.800 --> 01:18:07.320
I

1302
01:18:07.700 --> 01:18:11.480
This is a bit disappointing. I was really looking forward to it

1303
01:18:13.280 --> 01:18:14.320
That's it

1304
01:18:14.320 --> 01:18:17.860
Don't add because we worked so hard to find a time that that's like you're trying to coerce

1305
01:18:17.920 --> 01:18:22.160
No, you stated exactly how you feel you had feelings of disappointment

1306
01:18:25.340 --> 01:18:28.080
And it's a bummer so

1307
01:18:30.680 --> 01:18:34.660
You can give the alternative the ball is in his court he can follow up

1308
01:18:34.680 --> 01:18:39.220
But I think it's totally fine to let a person know when you're disappointed by something that happened

1309
01:18:39.220 --> 01:18:41.720
There's nothing wrong with it. There's you showing up as you

1310
01:18:43.060 --> 01:18:46.440
You don't have to hide who you are in that sense

1311
01:18:48.700 --> 01:18:49.180
Okay

1312
01:18:49.980 --> 01:18:53.020
Yeah, and let them know that you that's accountability

1313
01:18:53.200 --> 01:18:57.880
You let them know when you give your word that means something you don't have to preach a sermon to do that

1314
01:18:59.120 --> 01:18:59.600
Okay

1315
01:18:59.600 --> 01:19:04.080
And and you recommend like if I were chatting with someone through text

1316
01:19:04.080 --> 01:19:07.060
It's okay after a few days to be like, can we get on a phone call?

1317
01:19:07.720 --> 01:19:08.280
I think

1318
01:19:08.700 --> 01:19:14.000
Good. I don't think that you should spend a week texting someone you've not seen them and you don't know them

1319
01:19:14.720 --> 01:19:16.140
I think that

1320
01:19:16.440 --> 01:19:20.740
A person when you're getting to know them, they'll have plenty of time to bring reciprocity

1321
01:19:21.280 --> 01:19:25.580
This is not the time for you need to pursue me. You need to pursue me. No, no

1322
01:19:25.580 --> 01:19:30.000
Reciprocity is a real thing and it happens you are not out here

1323
01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:33.700
That's a waste of time and now, you know, I don't agree with waste of time

1324
01:19:33.700 --> 01:19:36.620
I do concept overall like in a little nitpick

1325
01:19:36.620 --> 01:19:42.480
But that's a waste of time to let somebody draw you out and come text or in an app

1326
01:19:42.820 --> 01:19:43.940
for a week

1327
01:19:44.300 --> 01:19:51.980
Or two weeks saying you're waiting for them to ask you to coffee. You're wasting your own time

1328
01:19:54.340 --> 01:19:59.980
At least if you refuse to ask them for their number or go to coffee you can ghost them

1329
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.280
But definitely don't talk to them for two weeks and blame them

1330
01:20:06.020 --> 01:20:11.020
Yeah, you you you know, so if you want to talk to a person for two days and you just like hey

1331
01:20:11.140 --> 01:20:12.540
I'm enjoy talking to you

1332
01:20:12.540 --> 01:20:18.260
But I don't get on this app a lot if you would like to change numbers or grab a cup of coffee

1333
01:20:19.060 --> 01:20:22.180
It's your ask. I'll be happy to give you that information

1334
01:20:23.080 --> 01:20:26.380
And you would say I mean I can't there these people are long-distance

1335
01:20:26.380 --> 01:20:30.200
I could I I just want to get on a video or phone. Yeah

1336
01:20:30.680 --> 01:20:36.280
Yeah, I would love to get on the video call with you because it's very challenging for me to talk to a person

1337
01:20:36.280 --> 01:20:41.160
I have not seen and I actually refuse to do it. Oh

1338
01:20:41.640 --> 01:20:46.600
Wow, okay. Yeah, I don't talk to people. I don't I do not talk to me, but I do not know

1339
01:20:46.600 --> 01:20:49.820
I'm not gonna talk to somebody for a week. I have not seen them

1340
01:20:50.540 --> 01:20:57.120
That's me, I'm very uncomfortable with it I'm very uncomfortable texting a person that I haven't seen

1341
01:20:57.860 --> 01:21:00.020
couple of days before we

1342
01:21:01.420 --> 01:21:03.320
42 years old

1343
01:21:03.320 --> 01:21:08.680
Well, that's exact. That's exactly the guy who I said, can we get on a FaceTime and we're supposed to yesterday?

1344
01:21:08.780 --> 01:21:14.220
It's been two weeks and he loves texting and I'm like, I don't want to text him

1345
01:21:14.220 --> 01:21:17.360
Can we get on FaceTime and then he didn't show so like yeah

1346
01:21:17.360 --> 01:21:23.000
Well and see if you could have found it out last week because he probably wasn't gonna show last week either and that's why I'm

1347
01:21:23.060 --> 01:21:28.480
Saying like you give this amount of time. You can let them know third day like hey, it's been great getting to know you

1348
01:21:28.480 --> 01:21:34.740
But I would really like to do a zoom call whatever floats your boat. Go ahead and go for it. You're not gonna lose

1349
01:21:35.760 --> 01:21:42.380
And you can't get it wrong. The only thing you do in this phase is learning and it's worth the lesson

1350
01:21:42.940 --> 01:21:48.580
And that's not me pursuing that's just be like I want to get to see the real face like a live

1351
01:21:49.320 --> 01:21:51.620
Person right? That's not being pursuing

1352
01:21:52.080 --> 01:21:54.760
No, it's not being pursuing. Okay

1353
01:21:55.240 --> 01:21:57.820
Yeah, go for it. Okay

1354
01:21:57.820 --> 01:21:59.640
You got hey

1355
01:22:00.000 --> 01:22:04.620
Yeah, look, okay. Yeah, it's a 24 go Stephanie you guess

1356
01:22:06.300 --> 01:22:07.620
to 830

1357
01:22:08.560 --> 01:22:09.220
Hey

1358
01:22:11.980 --> 01:22:12.740
I

1359
01:22:12.740 --> 01:22:15.340
Got braids. Yes, my

1360
01:22:15.460 --> 01:22:23.480
Hairstylist is going on maternity leave next month. So I needed to hurry up and get some braids. Yeah, it's my birthday month, too

1361
01:22:23.640 --> 01:22:28.300
So needed to get a pre-birthday hairstyle. So yeah, it's happy birthday

1362
01:22:30.700 --> 01:22:33.140
September babies. So yeah, mine's in

1363
01:22:33.480 --> 01:22:40.520
The 25th and that's been really talking to me about really selling into being childlike so I'm going to the Disney retreat

1364
01:22:40.680 --> 01:22:42.000
I'm also

1365
01:22:43.300 --> 01:22:45.880
For my birthday weekend, I

1366
01:22:46.960 --> 01:22:48.460
with the whole

1367
01:22:48.700 --> 01:22:55.540
Like bridal activation that Carla did I was struggling with with that which God connected me

1368
01:22:55.860 --> 01:22:59.640
Helped me with making the connection that I also was struggling with couldn't with

1369
01:22:59.850 --> 01:23:05.250
Celebrating myself, so he challenged me to celebrate my birthday and invite some

1370
01:23:06.190 --> 01:23:07.830
girlfriends to do

1371
01:23:08.310 --> 01:23:15.050
This painting experience where we get to throw paint against the walls and and just have fun being childlike

1372
01:23:15.070 --> 01:23:18.990
So it'll be me and six others. So seven of us total

1373
01:23:19.550 --> 01:23:27.710
So yeah, it's it's been a it's been a interesting like fun adventure with God and I was on for worship

1374
01:23:28.470 --> 01:23:31.470
On Sunday and one of my friends

1375
01:23:31.810 --> 01:23:38.010
I saw her later that day at a birthday party and she said you were so joyful

1376
01:23:38.010 --> 01:23:39.250
during worship

1377
01:23:39.610 --> 01:23:43.490
So that was just so encouraging for her to say that

1378
01:23:43.770 --> 01:23:45.410
Because that's just where

1379
01:23:45.510 --> 01:23:48.390
Like as God is unlocking that childlikeness

1380
01:23:48.870 --> 01:23:55.350
He's doing that within me and it's like you you don't know that you're conveying something

1381
01:23:55.350 --> 01:23:59.030
Outwardly until someone tells you so that was encouraging to hear that

1382
01:24:00.650 --> 01:24:01.250
I

1383
01:24:01.250 --> 01:24:03.470
Met a man out in the wild which was

1384
01:24:04.810 --> 01:24:05.410
interesting

1385
01:24:07.270 --> 01:24:10.910
I put it in the chat in the community a little bit

1386
01:24:10.910 --> 01:24:16.670
But met him at I went to pick up a prescription and in that same shopping center

1387
01:24:17.030 --> 01:24:18.990
at that particular CVS, it's

1388
01:24:20.810 --> 01:24:21.410
in

1389
01:24:22.450 --> 01:24:29.450
Marina del Rey of California, which is a little more high end of an area and I tend to see a lot of single men

1390
01:24:30.130 --> 01:24:31.090
in that

1391
01:24:31.270 --> 01:24:35.030
CVS, so I'm like, all right, I'm gonna just take my yeah in the wild

1392
01:24:35.770 --> 01:24:41.850
I'm gonna just take my time walking through the aisles. And then afterwards I went to the Panda Express right over there and

1393
01:24:43.510 --> 01:24:45.890
I didn't even notice him at first, but he

1394
01:24:47.050 --> 01:24:51.090
Noticed me and then as I was leaving he stopped me

1395
01:24:52.210 --> 01:24:56.410
And then was chatting me up. He does I do digital marketing

1396
01:24:56.410 --> 01:24:59.390
He does digital marketing and he asked me for my phone number

1397
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.260
And I went ahead and I'm like, all right, I'll give it to him.

1398
01:25:03.440 --> 01:25:07.840
And then that night, he texted me asking me if I wanted to go bowling.

1399
01:25:08.340 --> 01:25:11.700
And I'm like, Oh, no, he wanted to go like that night.

1400
01:25:11.700 --> 01:25:15.100
And I'm like, no, like I, it was a Thursday too.

1401
01:25:15.360 --> 01:25:18.680
I'm like, I have to be up early the next day for work.

1402
01:25:18.960 --> 01:25:24.160
But I would, um, and let's, let's figure out another time that we can get together.

1403
01:25:25.280 --> 01:25:28.560
So next day, he texted me asking me if we can do dinner.

1404
01:25:28.660 --> 01:25:29.800
So I went ahead and said, yes.

1405
01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:32.820
Um, that evening.

1406
01:25:33.120 --> 01:25:38.360
So partially because I knew that after that, God was putting it on my heart to

1407
01:25:38.360 --> 01:25:43.760
just kind of pause communication with men for the remainder of the month because

1408
01:25:43.760 --> 01:25:48.540
of the retreat, because of my birthday and really selling into the relationships

1409
01:25:48.540 --> 01:25:53.820
of in community of people who are already like cemented in my life.

1410
01:25:54.080 --> 01:25:56.720
So I wasn't going to have time to be on a date.

1411
01:25:56.860 --> 01:25:59.680
And so, um, went on the date with him.

1412
01:25:59.680 --> 01:26:01.860
It was a really nice date date.

1413
01:26:02.120 --> 01:26:04.740
I don't think he's for me, but it was a really nice date.

1414
01:26:05.040 --> 01:26:10.000
What I learned from the date is one, I can meet a Christian man in the wild.

1415
01:26:12.780 --> 01:26:18.460
Um, and, um, the cool thing is that he was, um, he actually said, he's like,

1416
01:26:18.560 --> 01:26:23.500
I wanted to bluntly ask you if you're a Christian when, when I first met you,

1417
01:26:23.500 --> 01:26:30.240
but I didn't want to like push that, um, like be too forward in that moment.

1418
01:26:30.300 --> 01:26:35.140
He's like, but at the worst, I would just like talk about Jesus and

1419
01:26:35.140 --> 01:26:37.100
then like, we'd both be on our way.

1420
01:26:37.580 --> 01:26:43.900
But we found, um, I organically put it in the conversation because he asked

1421
01:26:43.900 --> 01:26:45.060
what I was doing that weekend.

1422
01:26:45.100 --> 01:26:48.760
And if I'm on for worship, then it's so much about who I am as

1423
01:26:48.760 --> 01:26:50.680
a person on what my plans are.

1424
01:26:50.700 --> 01:26:53.060
So I said, oh, I'm on for worship this weekend.

1425
01:26:53.060 --> 01:26:57.640
So I'll be at church for practice and then this and prepping for my trip.

1426
01:26:57.740 --> 01:27:00.220
So I just kind of kept it at that.

1427
01:27:01.600 --> 01:27:03.580
And, um, then that's what prompted him.

1428
01:27:03.720 --> 01:27:05.020
He's like, I'm so glad you said that.

1429
01:27:05.040 --> 01:27:06.760
I didn't know how to ask you if you're a Christian.

1430
01:27:07.580 --> 01:27:12.560
So, um, yeah, so that was, I'm, I'm, I'm glad I followed that

1431
01:27:12.700 --> 01:27:16.000
instinct of keeping it in organic conversation.

1432
01:27:16.460 --> 01:27:22.440
Um, even in that, um, because in contrast, men who I'm pretty certain

1433
01:27:22.440 --> 01:27:26.300
don't have a relationship with God, there was their response whenever I've

1434
01:27:26.300 --> 01:27:27.820
said, oh, I'm on for worship this weekend.

1435
01:27:27.860 --> 01:27:28.920
It's like, oh, that's what's up.

1436
01:27:28.920 --> 01:27:31.200
That's cool that you go to church and stuff.

1437
01:27:31.300 --> 01:27:36.360
And it's like, okay, that's a, that's a reply that does not

1438
01:27:36.360 --> 01:27:37.380
sound like you go to church.

1439
01:27:38.700 --> 01:27:41.620
So, um, yeah, but it was a nice day.

1440
01:27:41.820 --> 01:27:47.560
Um, there was some common things, um, that we seem to enjoy, but I think that,

1441
01:27:47.780 --> 01:27:49.940
um, after that he became a little flaky.

1442
01:27:49.940 --> 01:27:54.260
So he's, um, not really reaching out and stuff, which is fine.

1443
01:27:54.480 --> 01:28:01.080
Um, I did challenge myself in like asking God, like, what are the things

1444
01:28:01.080 --> 01:28:02.620
that are triggering me about him?

1445
01:28:02.620 --> 01:28:08.780
And there are some common things with, um, past relationships and just kind

1446
01:28:08.780 --> 01:28:16.180
of some of the bravado that he has that has that and, and so quickly that

1447
01:28:16.180 --> 01:28:20.280
are reminiscent of past relationships that I think I need to explore a little

1448
01:28:20.120 --> 01:28:25.440
more, but not so much that I wouldn't go on a second date if that did present

1449
01:28:25.440 --> 01:28:25.860
itself.

1450
01:28:26.420 --> 01:28:32.300
Um, and I'm also trying to just keep it easy on like the fact that I haven't

1451
01:28:32.300 --> 01:28:37.660
fully heard from him because even though he, he did kind of push hard and push

1452
01:28:37.660 --> 01:28:42.380
for a date after that, he's been slower with communication, which is fine.

1453
01:28:42.380 --> 01:28:45.580
That might be his regular communication style.

1454
01:28:45.960 --> 01:28:48.000
And he was just the eager beaver in the beginning.

1455
01:28:48.880 --> 01:28:51.320
So, but yeah, that's what, so

1456
01:28:51.760 --> 01:28:52.740
that's so good.

1457
01:28:52.740 --> 01:28:54.060
Stephanie, thank you for sharing.

1458
01:28:54.280 --> 01:28:57.440
And you can like, I don't know if y'all picked up on this when she said she has

1459
01:28:57.440 --> 01:29:00.100
an organic way of just sliding that in.

1460
01:29:00.220 --> 01:29:01.400
I've tried that too.

1461
01:29:01.400 --> 01:29:04.120
Like if a guy asked me, so what are you doing this week?

1462
01:29:04.120 --> 01:29:09.620
I'm like, well, Wednesday I have prayer church and I'll say that just to throw

1463
01:29:09.620 --> 01:29:10.280
that in.

1464
01:29:11.040 --> 01:29:15.140
And, and so you always wonder like, well, when do I talk about faith or when do I

1465
01:29:15.140 --> 01:29:19.000
see if they know, geez, like this is a question we always get, but you can

1466
01:29:19.180 --> 01:29:20.620
organically throw things in.

1467
01:29:20.700 --> 01:29:23.880
You can really tell them, you know, how, what do you got planned this weekend?

1468
01:29:23.900 --> 01:29:27.240
I had nothing Saturday, but Sunday I look, I'm so excited to be at church.

1469
01:29:27.480 --> 01:29:30.680
Um, or I'm going to church and you know, just the regular Sunday.

1470
01:29:30.840 --> 01:29:32.100
What do you do on Sundays?

1471
01:29:33.300 --> 01:29:34.640
Something like that, you know?

1472
01:29:34.640 --> 01:29:36.920
And so that's like a very good way.

1473
01:29:36.920 --> 01:29:38.660
Thank you for sharing that.

1474
01:29:39.500 --> 01:29:42.880
Um, because that was very helpful and I'm excited for you.

1475
01:29:42.900 --> 01:29:46.180
I'm excited for your birthday and I'm excited for everything that God is doing

1476
01:29:46.180 --> 01:29:49.500
in your life because honey, you grow fast.

1477
01:29:50.680 --> 01:29:53.180
This is like two months ago.

1478
01:29:53.380 --> 01:29:55.600
You're like, I don't know about this.

1479
01:29:55.740 --> 01:29:57.200
Y'all procrastinating.

1480
01:29:57.260 --> 01:29:59.640
Ebony, you're pushing me to go online dating.

1481
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.000
you mean people in the wild honey and they christians because that's what everybody always

1482
01:30:05.000 --> 01:30:11.480
says and everybody always say me and my friends like when we go out we're gonna go home depot

1483
01:30:11.480 --> 01:30:15.600
how do we know if he's a christian like could we should we just say hey are you a believer

1484
01:30:15.600 --> 01:30:21.840
in christ jesus and it's like how do you say that to somebody because i think that's the

1485
01:30:21.840 --> 01:30:26.320
safety we feel that online dating because at least in online dating you see their profile

1486
01:30:26.320 --> 01:30:31.960
they tell you what they like at least they mark if they're a believer or not and that's one of

1487
01:30:31.960 --> 01:30:38.680
the benefits you get from online dating versus when you meet somebody in the wild um you have

1488
01:30:38.680 --> 01:30:42.620
to figure it like you have to ask them but it's nothing wrong with me the person in the wild but

1489
01:30:42.620 --> 01:30:47.160
that's that's so interesting so thank you for sharing because that is always a hurdle for

1490
01:30:47.160 --> 01:30:50.360
me too it's like i want to talk to him but i don't even know if he know jesus

1491
01:30:51.340 --> 01:30:59.640
so but the classified christians the one who check the mark they have not proven themselves to be

1492
01:31:01.480 --> 01:31:07.080
exactly actual like walking believers right that is that relationship with christ so

1493
01:31:07.740 --> 01:31:11.740
that's so true that's so true well at least where i've met so far

1494
01:31:11.960 --> 01:31:17.020
oh no no it's true you have to you have to what you have to watch for fruit we're fruit inspectors

1495
01:31:18.340 --> 01:31:22.620
so ladies it was so good talking to all y'all we did a little better with time tonight i'm

1496
01:31:22.620 --> 01:31:29.140
so happy to see so suficio and alicia and michelle is hanging in there and anita and

1497
01:31:29.140 --> 01:31:35.080
i just want to shout out y'all heather and uh laura and kim i just want y'all to know i see

1498
01:31:35.080 --> 01:31:40.700
you both laura and lauren i miss you and laurie i miss you lydia this is my first time seeing you

1499
01:31:40.700 --> 01:31:47.600
hey stephanie and hey hey tommy i don't think i know you if i do i don't know i do but it's so

1500
01:31:47.660 --> 01:31:55.400
heavy and my is it makia from nyc i never get a chance to talk to you but i'm always so happy

1501
01:31:55.400 --> 01:32:03.160
that you're here and so uh ladies it has been a pleasure and jody good to see you too and i look

1502
01:32:03.160 --> 01:32:09.400
forward to seeing you guys again on tv so i'm about to say something michelle yes i'll share

1503
01:32:09.400 --> 01:32:15.540
next time oh okay all right thank you you're welcome ladies have a good night good night

1504
01:32:15.540 --> 01:32:23.920
everyone thank you thank you good night thank you good night bye everybody good night

1505
01:32:48.360 --> 01:32:49.760
you

1506
01:33:18.360 --> 01:33:19.760
you

1507
01:33:48.360 --> 01:33:49.760
you

1508
01:34:18.360 --> 01:34:19.760
you

1509
01:34:47.520 --> 01:34:48.920
you

1510
01:35:08.080 --> 01:35:09.480
you

1511
01:35:38.080 --> 01:35:39.480
you

1512
01:36:08.080 --> 01:36:09.480
you

1513
01:36:38.080 --> 01:36:39.480
you

1514
01:37:08.080 --> 01:37:09.480
you

1515
01:37:38.080 --> 01:37:39.480
you

1516
01:38:08.080 --> 01:38:09.480
you

1517
01:38:38.080 --> 01:38:39.480
you

1518
01:39:08.080 --> 01:39:09.480
you

1519
01:39:38.080 --> 01:39:39.480
you

1520
01:40:08.080 --> 01:40:09.480
you

1521
01:40:38.080 --> 01:40:39.480
you

1522
01:41:08.080 --> 01:41:09.480
you

1523
01:41:38.080 --> 01:41:39.480
you

1524
01:42:08.080 --> 01:42:09.480
you

1525
01:42:38.080 --> 01:42:39.480
you

1526
01:43:08.080 --> 01:43:09.480
you

1527
01:43:38.080 --> 01:43:39.480
you

1528
01:44:08.080 --> 01:44:09.480
you

1529
01:44:38.080 --> 01:44:39.480
you

1530
01:45:08.080 --> 01:45:09.480
you

1531
01:45:38.080 --> 01:45:39.480
you

1532
01:46:08.080 --> 01:46:09.480
you

1533
01:46:38.080 --> 01:46:39.480
you

1534
01:47:08.080 --> 01:47:09.480
you

1535
01:47:38.080 --> 01:47:39.480
you

1536
01:48:08.080 --> 01:48:09.480
you

1537
01:48:35.920 --> 01:48:37.320
you