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Awesome. Welcome, ladies. I'm so happy to be here with you, ladies. Can't believe it's

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already close to the end of September. Can't believe it. This year is flying by. I'm going

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to go ahead and pray, and then I will get to our housekeeping items. I was about to

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I forget to pray, and I do not want to do that. All right. Heavenly Father, I thank you so much

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for this community. I thank you for the ladies that are on this call. Those are

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those that will also watch and replay, Lord. I just thank you for the ability for us to come

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together and partner with each other in the presence of your spirit so that we can hear

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from you, Lord. Lord, I thank you for this opportunity that you've blessed me with,

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not only having been in this program myself and having met my spirit mate, but that I still get

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to continue to pour in to others and encourage and fill other ladies with hope for their love

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stories as well that you've intricately, intricately, so wonderfully have written for

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Lord. I just thank you. I thank you for the love stories that you have written for them that they

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don't even realize just how involved you are. It just reminds me of my own and how there were

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moments where I never thought it was going to happen, and when it happened, it was better than

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I had ever imagined. And so I just thank you because you're doing the same for each one of

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these ladies. And when their spirit mate comes, it's going to make all the sense in the world.

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And they're going to see how intentional you were in that love story and how loved they are by you

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in that love story. And so I just thank you for that. I thank you for that moment when it all

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comes together and they realize that. And not only are they going to be filled with so much joy

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for finding their spirit mate, but they're going to be filled with an abundance of

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love, not just from their spirit mate, but from you, Father. I just thank you for that.

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So Lord, I just ask that you bless our time together today. Allow these ladies to share

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their vulnerable hearts, Lord. And I just ask that, you know, use me as a vessel to speak

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encouragement and hope and wisdom into each and every one of them, whether they're here live or

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watching in replay. And just be with us. Thank you in your son's name. Amen.

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All right. Look at that. We got more ladies. Love it. Hey, love it. Love it. Love it. Oh,

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good. Danelle is here. Danelle, you have, I love it because you have, you are so involved. You are

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like a sponge. I can tell you're sharing in community. I sometimes don't even feel like

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I could keep up with, with coaching you. So I apologize. Just know, like I look today and I'm

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like, I have a lot of work to do. I'm going to get to you later, either this evening or tomorrow and

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Thursday, I will be able to dive right in. So any of you ladies that are on the call right now,

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and I have not had a moment to respond, or Ebony as well, just know that we see you and we will be

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responding to you. We just, again, we thank you so much for just your dedication. Ladies, again,

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I don't, if there's anybody new here, I don't think there is. I think I know everybody here.

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But I have walked through this journey. I totally get it. So just know, like,

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I know there's going to be moments of those like discouragement. I get it. But I just,

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again, I just want you to know, like, you don't have to do this alone. And we love and care about

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you. And God's got you. God has totally got you. Because in this season and in this process,

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he is shaping and molding and refining you for marriage. He really is. Okay. And I know at times

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when we're in this, it doesn't, it doesn't feel like that. But like I said, in the prayer,

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it will all make sense. Y'all, I was in this program for two years before I met my now husband.

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And a year, like, I was like, very

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involved in this community.

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Um, and I didn't even actually start dating until after I was in this

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program for over a year.

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And so I spent an entire year.

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So my second year in this group, I spent that entire year dating and y'all, like,

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I can't tell you how many times I was discouraged because you'll see people

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getting married and getting engaged.

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And you're like, why isn't it happening to me?

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Like, you know, it's, it's natural to feel that way.

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That's what the enemy wants you to feel.

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He wants you to feel defeated.

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He wants you to feel discouraged because he knows that God has an amazing spirit

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mate for you, and he knows what that marriage is going to do for the

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kingdom and he doesn't want it.

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So he's going to do anything and everything to discourage you and keep you away from

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trying to live out that promise.

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And so in those moments of feeling discouraged, come to this community, you

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can share your heart with us.

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Okay.

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It's okay to feel defeated.

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I can't tell you how many times I came to this community, just sobbing on calls

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because I was just a mess at times, but I will tell you, it was this community

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that kept me going.

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So you just being here right now is enough.

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Okay.

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God's with you.

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God's going to guide you and direct you.

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We're all on these, on different path on a different journey.

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Okay.

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Some of us are going to be like ready to dive in and start dating.

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And we're going to knock out those seven dates pretty quickly.

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Um, I was not one of those girls.

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So if you're, you're like me, it might take you a little while and that's okay too.

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But God moved in such an awesome way in my journey, in every single one of the, the

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sisters that I built relationship with and that are just in this community now.

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And there's some, there are still some women in this community that were in my,

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when I first joined five years ago that are still looking for their spirit mate.

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So I know if I was discouraged and it took me two years, I know that they are too,

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but you know what?

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They still show up in this community.

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God is still doing an awesome work in each and every one of them.

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I've seen God move in their lives over the last five years in such phenomenal ways.

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So just know that if it doesn't feel like it's happening yet for you, God is still

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working something good.

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I hope that gives anybody that might be feeling a little discouraged.

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I hope that gives you a little, a little pep talk here.

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All right.

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But just know, show up.

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You can share your vulnerable self with us here.

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Um, share it with us in our app and if you have to vent, we get it.

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We totally get it.

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You know, as a coach, myself and Ebony, we're going to, we're going to do what we

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are called to do and try to help you coach out of some of those situations.

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But we also know that God's got you and God's got you on whatever journey that it

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is.

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So if you're feeling some resistance, that's okay.

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We might just be calling a little something out just to plant the seed.

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If you're feeling resistance or offended, cause y'all, I can't tell you how many

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times Jackie offended me in this community and I love her and she knows I love her.

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And, um, I know she loves me, but man, sometimes like some of her coaching,

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Lord, like really stretched me.

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And so it's okay if our coaching stretches you or you get a little offended.

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I want you to lay that stuff at the Lord's feet.

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And allow him to speak to your heart.

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Okay.

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Cause I, what I will tell you is every time I got offended by something that Jackie

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said, there was a reason because there was a little heartwork that I needed.

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And fun fact, ladies, heartwork never stops, even in marriage, there's always

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something that, you know, God wants to upgrade us and grow us closer to him.

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I mean, that's inevitably what, what he, he desires from us, right?

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His relationship with us.

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really does and so he's gonna continue to grow us and heal us and reveal areas

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where we can connect even in more deep intimacy with him okay so I want to just

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again I just release that over you ladies okay I hope that gives you some

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hope and encouragement and just know like when your spirit mates come there's

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more growing you know marriage will mold like will refine you I mean it's like

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that iron sharpens iron right you have two different people coming together to

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be that perfect image of God and you got two people with two minds and then you

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got the male and the female the masculine the feminine and let me tell

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you men and women are different so there is gonna be some like you know you got

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to kind of rub some of those rough edges and learn how to grow together and so

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just know hard work is involved there too and this program will prepare you

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for a kingdom marriage as well okay a couple housekeeping things I don't think

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I see anybody new on here I know a couple people I think jumped on do I

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have any new ladies I don't think so okay well they're watching and replay

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welcome I know Dan is it Danelle Danelle okay I I butcher names I'm really bad at

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that I'm she's not new here but she's new to me because she she doesn't this

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is your first time to one o'clock to any any life cool okay this is like I had to

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make this happen yeah this is my work day and I have to take off my lawyer

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brain and I'm like I have to make this call happen because I know we've been

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interacting like get on the lives so yes I'm good yes yeah sometimes I just I

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don't recognize some ladies because they do go to the evening calls because I

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understand evening sometimes are a better time frame unfortunately that's

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not always the best time frame for me because I have three kids and so I'm

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always busy in the afternoons in the evenings now and then I will kind of

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jump in and co-host with Ebony and so we'll tag-team it but I don't always get

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to do that all right Supernatural Saturdays if you ladies are not aware I

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think most of you probably are they are not being recorded this month okay I

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know that's like a shock because we always tell you watch it watch it watch

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it go to replay so you might be like well they tell me to watch it and then

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it's not here so we are not recording them for for September so what we

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encourage you to do in this month is if you cannot make it live try to make it

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live if you can I get it you can't all right I start baseball tournament every

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weekend starting this weekend so Saturdays are my Saturdays and Sundays

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are usually shot and I'm at the ballfield all day every day in the

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weekend so I get it but even though it's not being recorded this month go back

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and listen to old ones sometimes I will just do that randomly when I'm just

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feeling like I need a little pick-me-up or something God will just put it on my

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heart so listen to a Supernatural Saturday and I'll just like scroll and

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I'll pick one and there's always just something so good that gets released

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that I didn't hear before or at least I heard it before it just didn't resonate

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with me the way that it does in that very moment so I encourage you to do

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that another thing please ladies when you are replying to us coaches in your

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post add a new comment under your post don't click reply under our comment it

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just helps us see that you've replied I know it's really weird unfortunately

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like we're trying to get some glitches worked out and I think we're it's it's I

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will tell you it's gotten better it's gotten way better and so sometimes we'll

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miss your response because we're not getting notified that you replied under

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our comment but what I will say is if you comment on your post after we've

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commented we'll see that okay another thing ladies I love seeing all the

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support that you all are given each other in the app please just make sure

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that you're not commenting on someone's post that's under that they haven't done

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it under the ask a coach if you do want to reply to them wait till myself or

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Ebony has commented because sometimes if we're on our phones because sometimes I

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have to reply like reply on my phone and unfortunately I don't have certain

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admin tabs

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to be able to do the things that I can on my computer.

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So when I'm scrolling through on my app,

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if I see comments,

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it tells me that maybe Ebony's already gotten to it.

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And again, sometimes it's like, if I've got 30 minutes,

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I'm gonna try to get to as many as I can,

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so I'm scrolling pretty fast, okay?

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So if you can just hold back to reply on someone's,

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especially under the Ask a Coach post,

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so that we don't miss it, that would help greatly.

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Thank you, Stephanie, for letting me know.

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I totally get it.

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I'll get to your question here in just a minute.

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All right, and then yeah,

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if you can't ever make this one o'clock call,

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this will always be in replay as well as the eight o'clock.

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If you can make it to both one and eight live, go for it.

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Okay, if you can't make it to either, watch both replays.

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If you can make it to mine

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and you can't make it to the evening one,

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watch the evening one in replay and vice versa.

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Maybe you make it to Ebony's,

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but you couldn't make it to this one,

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watch this one in replay, cool?

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Awesome, all right, Stephanie, I'm gonna see,

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if any of you have questions, go ahead and put your hands up

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so I see how many questions I have for today.

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I see Janelle, she's got her hand up.

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And then if you had a question last week

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and I couldn't get to you,

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please, please, please let me know in the chat

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because I wanna grab your question first or close to first

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because I know this,

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I mean, we're gonna probably be on here about another hour.

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So I just wanna make sure I get to as many people as I can.

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So when you ask your questions,

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try to be short, brief and powerful.

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The good news about this time slot

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is we don't have a lot of people.

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So we can usually kind of take a little extra time

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because I don't have as many questions.

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But what typically happens is towards the end of the call,

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it prompts other ladies to have questions

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and then I'm trying to squeeze everybody

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in at the very last minute.

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So, all right, I see that I got three.

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I'm gonna read Stephanie's here.

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And then I did wanna share something.

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And I see, I'm sorry if I butchered your name,

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is it Sarah Shell?

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Did I pronounce it right?

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Yes, okay.

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She had a really great question last week

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that I asked her to post in the app.

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And I wanted to get more feedback from the team.

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And I know Bethany gave a response.

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I wanna share that response with everybody here

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because I do think it's gonna be helpful.

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And then Sarah Shell,

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if you have any feedback that you wanna get on,

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I do think I saw that you had replied.

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I just haven't gotten to it yet.

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So if there's time and you wanna go

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and cover that on this call, we can do that too, okay?

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It's totally up to you.

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All right.

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Do I have details on Sunday prophetic teaching?

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Is that the prophesier year for Rosh Hashanah?

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I think that's what you're talking about.

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Okay, yeah.

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I do not have all the details.

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But if you wanna make a post in the app,

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I can try to follow up and get as many details as I can.

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So what Stephanie is sharing ladies,

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and I'm glad that you brought that up

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because I didn't have that in my notes

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to share with you ladies.

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Y'all should have, if you go on our app, excuse me,

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and you go to the first page

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and you go to all of the pin posts for the announcements,

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Bethany made an announcement about prophesier year.

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So we usually do it once a year

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and it's at the beginning of the year.

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This year, we're doing it again for the Jewish new year,

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for the Rosh Hashanah.

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And so what that is, is just a prophetic extra teaching.

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It is an additional cost because we have to pay

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the people that come on and teach that session.

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So that does require a registration.

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So you are gonna have to register for it.

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I do not off the top of my head,

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I cannot remember how much it costs,

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but usually in the past,

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the ones that we do at the beginning of the year

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are recorded.

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So if you register and you cannot make it live

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for whatever reason, it is recorded

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and you have the ability to watch it on replay.

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You do not have the ability to watch it in replay

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if you have not registered and paid the fee.

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Okay, but again, Stephanie,

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I want you to post that comment in our app

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so that I can follow up and just confirm

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that is also happening for this one.

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Okay, as far as the recording and you having access to it

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because I see that you're celebrating your birthday.

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I love it.

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happy birthday by the way um so and then what I will say is it usually we usually like start that

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off and then in the I don't know how I do not know how they're going to set it up this year

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so actually I'll just I'll leave it at that because that's kind of all I do know I don't

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want to give any misinformation okay so hopefully that helps a little bit um but definitely throw

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that question up in the app so that myself or ebony can make sure that we follow up with the

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team because I want to make sure that I share the correct information plus for anybody that

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is not on this call maybe doesn't have the same question tonight on the eight o'clock

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or doesn't get an opportunity to watch the replays um for this call they will

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potentially see that as well okay all right I think I covered all of that um activations

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still want you ladies you know just sitting in that place of rest that sabbath I know um

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sometimes we forget to kind of post those things in the app don't hesitate to do that okay

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share with us what holy spirit is kind of showing you in this like month of sabbath

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like what is he having you do what is he highlighting for you um so don't be shy

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to share that with us um so keep that going um and then I just felt like literally right as I

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was getting on this call I felt the lord kind of press on me which I thought might be also good for

291
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you because it's something that I had to do in this group when I was single and god's kind of

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prompting me to do it now even as a married person um start getting ready each morning

293
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like before you go run your errands like ladies I have three kids and a husband now and I just feel

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like I'm constantly on the run I leave my house super early in the morning to get all my three

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kids to school and oftentimes it's like no makeup my hair's not done I'm usually just throwing on

296
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a t-shirt and jeans I really have recognized that I have neglected like just spending time just to

297
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maybe even like put a little mascara on or a little lip gloss on or throw a dress on or a cute top

298
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and so if that speaks to you ladies I want to encourage you to do that this week um

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because and the reason I say that is because part of it for me is about me slowing down and

300
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taking a rest because I get so hurried that I forget to slow down and just take care of myself

301
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and I don't know about y'all but sometimes when it's just like a little extra lip gloss or um

302
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you know me throwing my contacts on and having some mascara on

303
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or maybe curling my hair a little bit is just enough to kind of make me show up differently

304
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when I'm out you know I I'm more I'm more prone to making eye contact and smiling people and

305
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and connecting with people and sharing the love of Jesus like sharing joy I mean I'm not sitting

306
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there like preaching the gospel to everybody I cross on the on in the grocery aisle but sometimes

307
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just showing up and smiling and saying hello really does lift the spirit of people that really

308
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need connection and I need it too but I when I'm not really ready I kind of hide because I'm like

309
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oh my goodness like I have no makeup on like I have this blemish or something that you know I

310
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can't let anybody see um that sort of thing so I encourage you ladies to do to do that I love that

311
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Sam perfume yeah just something that smells nice that will just lift your spirit so that you just

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show up just ready to just like connect and pour on people and like I always tell you ladies you

313
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know who you're gonna meet okay I'm not saying that you're gonna meet this like guy out there

314
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sometimes you may meet the guy's sister or mother or next door neighbor or you know small group

315
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leader like you just never know and it could be a woman that is the one that introduces you

316
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to your to your spirit mate so it could be even just striking up conversations with other women

317
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and people that are in in sight okay all right Danelle

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I got your question and then I got Allah and then I got Sam and then did I see somebody else's hand that went down?

319
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I think Stephanie saying yes. I don't know who it was. I said it earlier. Caitlin, you got your hand up. I know there was somebody else. They might not be on right now. They might have had to jump off. Stephanie, you're going to be putting your hand up. I saw your little little. Hey, what's up?

320
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I love it. All right. Okay, so now I'm gonna I'm gonna go to you first.

321
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Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you to keep it short, brief and powerful. I know you probably have a lot if you just nail it.

322
00:25:37.100 --> 00:25:43.880
Okay, perfect. Hello. Okay. So hello, Carla. Hello, everyone. So my question is about

323
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about the when you move from an initial chat and an online app through to getting a call, you know, having a call or a video chat or a date. I realized after listening to the calls that it's actually encouraged for it to be quicker than I have been. Okay. And so I'm making moves on that. It's in process. However, there is a process. Exactly. Right. And so there is someone that I did post actually, it's one of the questions that you refer to.

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I'd love to hear back from you about it's someone that I've been to. We were talking from the end of August, and we were back and forth. And for me, I'm doing this, you know, it's for discovery. So not attached. But we've had pleasant, we've had pleasant conversations.

325
00:26:28.760 --> 00:26:53.380
And then all of a sudden, around just before around September, the ninth, he said, maybe when I come to Maui, we can sit down for a nice chat and love to talk with you. You seem like an amazing person that I didn't take anything like you're in my mind. It was like, yeah, right, you're coming to Maui. I mean, not to say that most of our conversation has been about that, because he has been to the island. And I realized now his questions were more about him trying to figure out how it could work.

326
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Only I realized in that recent days, the point is, is that I responded, thanks, a conversation would be nice. So I didn't, it wasn't that I was encouraging Maui, it's just the conversation would be nice. And I feel at that point. Oh, and then I didn't hear from him. So there was regular communication before that. And you know, we both have busy jobs and stuff. Well, I've got business and he's a firefighter, and I know about shifts and all this stuff. Again, no expectation.

327
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:45.760
But I didn't hear anything. And then I was like, Okay, well, well, you know, next kind of thing. No big deal. Yeah. And then two days. Well, at the time of this message, I'm trying to get context, a good week or maybe nine days after I got I love your new picture. Do you have such a pretty smile? I hope you have a great week. And the Brit, the Brit in me is want to respond to say thank you. Not that I want anything else.

328
00:27:45.760 --> 00:28:15.740
But then with the calls that you both you and Ebony, I'm, for me, I could just move on and not respond. But I feel kind of like, oh, that's so rude, you know, and I would love to talk it out, like, let it go. I was even yesterday, I was like, we'll just say thank you. And then, you know, next, but at the same time, in this process of, you know, moving things, I am curious to just get more dates in if that made sense. By the way, I had my first one on Sunday, I had my first one on Sunday.

329
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:43.000
Anyway, this is seven person. But and this is long distance, by the way. Yeah, this person is you're in Hawaii. You're in Hawaii. Yes. Okay. So this person's West Coast. He's in Oregon. So but he's always he started he wasn't it wasn't like a lure. It definitely was just genuine, you know, like Maui asking questions. I didn't realize until like I said that he's actually was more of a consideration of how could this work for him? Yeah. Anyway,

330
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I'm like, he was interested enough to be okay, I want to figure out if I can meet up with her and see where this goes. Yeah. And then he's talking about Yeah, again, when we're when we're doing that first level one and intro into level two. Um,

331
00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:28.960
but yeah, I mean, it's that discovery. Like we, ladies, we don't know right away. If the people that we're talking with in that level one in that entry level two, like we don't know where it's gonna go. It's just about discovering like, I'm getting to know a new person. Let's see what exactly. So again, he's probably like, I'd be interested in getting to know her. And if I see that I like her a lot, and we can meet,

332
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and this works. Because here's the thing, ladies, when men find their wives, they get a favor from the Lord. All right. That's Proverbs 1822. But I will tell you a man that is interested and intentional, he will make it work.

333
00:29:49.280 --> 00:29:59.660
So, so let them lead that. Okay, so, okay, so going back into, like, where you're kind of at, right?

334
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.620
Yeah, so basically, so it's not that I'm trying to figure

335
00:30:03.620 --> 00:30:04.920
out what he's doing, it's not that.

336
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It's more that my thing was, oh gosh,

337
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where was I going with this?

338
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When he actually said, when I come to Maui,

339
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something in me, and again, I know when you feel something,

340
00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:18.020
there's work to be done, right?

341
00:30:18.020 --> 00:30:20.160
But something in me was like, whoa, that's a bit of a jump.

342
00:30:20.440 --> 00:30:22.740
First we're bantering, having really good conversations,

343
00:30:22.740 --> 00:30:25.240
and we're just talking about Hawaii in general,

344
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he's been to a couple of islands,

345
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he's asked about the islands,

346
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was it like living and moving from where I was before?

347
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To me, so I didn't, I'm so, when it comes to dating,

348
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I am really not, that's why I'm here.

349
00:30:35.420 --> 00:30:37.280
I didn't get that that's what he was doing,

350
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was literally learning about how it would work for him.

351
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But again, I'm not thinking about that.

352
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But then it came to, all of a sudden,

353
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when I come to Maui, and for me, that kind of made me,

354
00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:48.560
so I know, energetically-

355
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A guard kind of came up.

356
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:51.600
There was a little- Energetically, it was like,

357
00:30:51.620 --> 00:30:53.900
wait a minute now, why are we jumping there?

358
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Yeah. Okay.

359
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And so I think, anyway.

360
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What thoughts or feelings were coming up,

361
00:31:02.260 --> 00:31:05.220
like, were there any fears or beliefs

362
00:31:05.220 --> 00:31:08.200
that you recognize kind of coming up?

363
00:31:08.200 --> 00:31:11.420
And again, you might not know what that is right now

364
00:31:11.420 --> 00:31:12.880
in this moment, it may be something

365
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:14.320
that you go take to the Lord,

366
00:31:14.420 --> 00:31:16.500
and he begins to kind of reveal to you.

367
00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:21.100
So I ask that question first, and see if anything comes up,

368
00:31:21.100 --> 00:31:22.980
okay, and you can address that in here in a minute.

369
00:31:22.980 --> 00:31:26.180
If not, and go to the Lord with that.

370
00:31:26.400 --> 00:31:29.560
Then, what I'd like to ask you ladies is,

371
00:31:30.700 --> 00:31:35.480
when in your past does that feel familiar?

372
00:31:36.380 --> 00:31:40.920
What happened in your past where that feels familiar?

373
00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:44.380
Is there a memory?

374
00:31:45.100 --> 00:31:48.320
And then I always even, we even coach,

375
00:31:48.460 --> 00:31:50.760
and I know Bethany does this too, is,

376
00:31:52.420 --> 00:31:56.000
when was the first time you felt that, what was happening?

377
00:31:57.000 --> 00:32:00.460
Like, go back to your farthest memory that you can recall

378
00:32:00.460 --> 00:32:03.640
where that felt very similar.

379
00:32:04.080 --> 00:32:05.900
Because what could be happening

380
00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:09.060
is that the heartwork happening,

381
00:32:09.620 --> 00:32:15.860
where there's an area or some past occurrence that happened

382
00:32:15.860 --> 00:32:19.360
that God wants to kind of have you kind of look at

383
00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:21.700
and start working on some healing.

384
00:32:22.460 --> 00:32:23.840
And what I will say with you ladies,

385
00:32:23.980 --> 00:32:25.280
and you'll hear me say this often,

386
00:32:25.460 --> 00:32:28.260
is that healing comes in layers, okay?

387
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:32.140
So don't be surprised if you go back to a memory

388
00:32:32.140 --> 00:32:35.680
that you've already visited and gotten some healing from,

389
00:32:36.020 --> 00:32:38.980
because there just may be another little layer to look under.

390
00:32:39.560 --> 00:32:41.760
Okay, I did that even just recently.

391
00:32:42.360 --> 00:32:44.500
I thought I had dealt with something in my past,

392
00:32:45.080 --> 00:32:46.760
and y'all, it was coming up.

393
00:32:46.760 --> 00:32:49.000
It was coming up with my bonus kids.

394
00:32:49.980 --> 00:32:53.680
I was reacting a lot from just a past,

395
00:32:55.400 --> 00:32:58.120
like, belief or alignment or thought

396
00:32:58.160 --> 00:32:59.860
that was kind of coming up in head,

397
00:32:59.900 --> 00:33:02.840
like, I'm not worth being listened to,

398
00:33:03.340 --> 00:33:05.320
like, no one values me,

399
00:33:05.360 --> 00:33:08.160
and it took me back to a place

400
00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:11.380
that I had already worked heartwork through five years ago.

401
00:33:12.400 --> 00:33:14.140
I mean, I was just like, whoa,

402
00:33:14.140 --> 00:33:15.560
I thought I already dealt with this.

403
00:33:15.560 --> 00:33:16.980
Clearly, there's another layer

404
00:33:16.980 --> 00:33:18.660
because now I'm in a different situation.

405
00:33:19.500 --> 00:33:22.540
So it will mold you into a diff,

406
00:33:22.600 --> 00:33:23.520
like, it will heal you

407
00:33:23.520 --> 00:33:25.640
because of the different situations you're in.

408
00:33:26.140 --> 00:33:28.280
So with all that being said,

409
00:33:29.220 --> 00:33:31.400
is there anything that's coming up in your spirit?

410
00:33:32.060 --> 00:33:32.500
Yes.

411
00:33:33.280 --> 00:33:34.900
Okay, you wanna tell me about it?

412
00:33:35.240 --> 00:33:38.060
Oh, yes, so instantly when he said it,

413
00:33:38.060 --> 00:33:39.240
well, when he got that message,

414
00:33:39.360 --> 00:33:40.900
I thought, right, what game are you playing?

415
00:33:40.940 --> 00:33:42.780
You're trying to bait me, you're trying to get me,

416
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:44.080
you think I'm one of those people

417
00:33:44.080 --> 00:33:45.660
that are gonna be like, oh, you're coming to Maui,

418
00:33:45.800 --> 00:33:46.800
and then, you know,

419
00:33:46.800 --> 00:33:49.600
because my thing is in this season,

420
00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:50.640
and I'm very open,

421
00:33:50.700 --> 00:33:52.980
and I'm so happy that I'm feeling more healed,

422
00:33:53.080 --> 00:33:55.740
is that I am gonna date many people,

423
00:33:55.820 --> 00:33:57.840
like, in this process, because it's discovery.

424
00:33:58.460 --> 00:34:02.260
My previous persona would,

425
00:34:02.580 --> 00:34:05.240
I'm very, like, you know, I'm a monogamous person,

426
00:34:05.240 --> 00:34:07.240
and I wanna date this, find the one,

427
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:08.580
and that's the one,

428
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:10.679
and we're gonna just talk, and we're gonna connect.

429
00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:13.540
And so instantly it made me think about a person.

430
00:34:13.540 --> 00:34:15.040
The last time I was online dating,

431
00:34:15.739 --> 00:34:17.900
before the heart, well, I've done heart work before,

432
00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:21.500
but before this part, heart work in this season, right?

433
00:34:21.639 --> 00:34:23.280
It was about two years ago,

434
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:25.639
and this person was on another island, on Oahu,

435
00:34:26.020 --> 00:34:30.139
and we got on so well, and he never came.

436
00:34:31.060 --> 00:34:32.440
Bear in mind, the work he does,

437
00:34:32.500 --> 00:34:33.199
and it's interesting,

438
00:34:33.340 --> 00:34:34.900
because this person is also in

439
00:34:35.179 --> 00:34:37.580
an emergency services type role,

440
00:34:37.960 --> 00:34:41.040
but this person was, right, right?

441
00:34:41.040 --> 00:34:42.980
Now I'm talking it out, I'm like, oh,

442
00:34:43.739 --> 00:34:47.020
this person, I believe he wanted to,

443
00:34:47.800 --> 00:34:49.960
but there was always an emergency for the state,

444
00:34:50.179 --> 00:34:52.420
like, he was on state-level emergency stuff,

445
00:34:53.139 --> 00:34:53.940
at a high level,

446
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:56.760
and so there was always something that stopped him,

447
00:34:56.900 --> 00:34:57.840
and it literally was,

448
00:34:57.840 --> 00:34:59.980
there was so many disasters going on, I know, and I.

449
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.620
believe, I could tell on the news, you know, there's no way he could have made it. So we

450
00:35:03.620 --> 00:35:08.360
kept making plans. It never happened. Eventually, eventually, I started to feel a bit like now

451
00:35:08.360 --> 00:35:13.660
he's playing me got to the point in the end, after a long time, and I ended up blocking

452
00:35:13.660 --> 00:35:18.660
him. This was a couple of years ago. Because I thought isn't even who he says it, you know,

453
00:35:18.680 --> 00:35:23.020
I knew he was, I knew his name, I could see what he looked like. So it's not like that.

454
00:35:23.380 --> 00:35:27.880
You know, I could tell who he actually was. But something about it had always been in my gut,

455
00:35:27.880 --> 00:35:34.560
it's not right all along. And so that when I blocked it, I went through forgiveness,

456
00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:39.160
all of that with him back then. But I also know that it's like layers of an onion. Do you know

457
00:35:39.160 --> 00:35:44.880
what I mean? I'm not saying it. So as Yeah, so as you said that, and I'm journaling, as you said it,

458
00:35:45.060 --> 00:35:50.660
I'm like, I'm always writing. Yeah, I'm attaching this to that. And it's connected. So that's,

459
00:35:50.860 --> 00:35:55.760
that's what came up. Um, the one thing that I'm that is jumping out at me is

460
00:35:56.600 --> 00:35:59.460
God wants you to know that you're God defended and God protected.

461
00:36:03.500 --> 00:36:07.560
Like sit with that, ladies, and I don't think that's just for you to know, I think that's for

462
00:36:07.560 --> 00:36:15.400
a lot of you. When these these triggers come up, especially when you're, you know, trying to get

463
00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:23.180
to know people, and you're possibly, you know, going on dates and all that, then this, the

464
00:36:23.180 --> 00:36:32.340
possibility of someone not following through, or this part of rejection, if you have been rejected

465
00:36:32.340 --> 00:36:39.520
before, or haven't, there's not been followed through before, it's going to feel very similar.

466
00:36:41.220 --> 00:36:48.280
But God wants you to know, he's defending you, and he's protecting you. So even though

467
00:36:48.280 --> 00:36:53.040
you don't really know all of the details as to why he never came.

468
00:36:54.820 --> 00:37:01.580
I really want to believe that God was just closing a door to protect you.

469
00:37:01.740 --> 00:37:08.820
I know that. Yeah. And so just again, remind yourself of that. Yeah. And again, just because

470
00:37:08.820 --> 00:37:13.080
this guy feels similar. He's not that guy.

471
00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:21.140
Okay, not saying that this guy is going to end up being your spirit mate, but it may be, God just

472
00:37:21.140 --> 00:37:30.520
wants to show you this area of, hey, I got you. You don't have to be afraid. Even if it feels similar.

473
00:37:31.540 --> 00:37:35.780
I'm going to show you or I'm going to remove things. I'm going to let you know what you need

474
00:37:35.780 --> 00:37:42.940
to know when you need to know it. And it's okay to step into getting to know someone. And ladies,

475
00:37:42.940 --> 00:37:48.640
that's why we always talk to you ladies about pacing yourself and not jumping in and getting

476
00:37:48.980 --> 00:37:55.100
head over heels right at first. I know that can happen for sure. I get it. You're like,

477
00:37:55.140 --> 00:38:00.320
oh my gosh, this is the one. And then all of a sudden you don't see the flags and then it just

478
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:08.120
kind of blows up. That's what happened to me several times before I got hard work.

479
00:38:09.080 --> 00:38:16.220
And so God was showing me like, look, you can trust these guys, but pace yourself. Let me show

480
00:38:17.360 --> 00:38:26.000
you more about these men's character before you jump in all in. And so it helped me kind of take

481
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:32.180
a step back and kind of slow down. And so spend some time processing that a little bit more.

482
00:38:32.180 --> 00:38:40.500
Okay. But I, I hope that helped kind of getting it out, processing it and recognizing where the

483
00:38:40.500 --> 00:38:49.860
connection is. And I hope that being God defended, God protected is, is hitting, hitting there.

484
00:38:51.620 --> 00:38:56.120
Literally hit me this weekend. Like that's exactly what I have is I'm not attached. I'm

485
00:38:56.120 --> 00:39:00.340
not attached to him. I'm not bothered. I have not felt like this in a long,

486
00:39:00.340 --> 00:39:05.760
I'm talking decades. And it's such a great feeling. That's why for me, my, my thing about

487
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:10.660
this to kind of finish with this part, well, say finish what's the power of my power of life and

488
00:39:10.660 --> 00:39:15.340
death. I'm not sure how to respond to he's. I love your new picture D that came out of the blue.

489
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:22.540
Do you have any words of advice? You could just definitely say, Hey, thanks. Um, cause it's been

490
00:39:22.540 --> 00:39:28.000
a while. So I haven't heard from you in a while. Like how have you been sort of thing? Yeah. Like,

491
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:32.840
you can even drop the hand, be like, why don't we jump on a video chat? Cause I know you mentioned

492
00:39:33.080 --> 00:39:37.640
wanting to come to Maui sometimes. So why don't we jump on a video? And then

493
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:42.800
if by the end of that call where you think that might be possibility,

494
00:39:42.960 --> 00:39:44.400
then we can maybe make arrangements for that.

495
00:39:48.940 --> 00:39:55.320
Again, just take that one. Okay. I receive it. I do receive it. Carla. Seriously. Um,

496
00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:59.160
thank you. You know, don't worry.

497
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.520
the handkerchief issues.

498
00:40:02.140 --> 00:40:05.160
I want them to come in like a knight in shining armor.

499
00:40:05.340 --> 00:40:05.740
No, it's okay.

500
00:40:05.860 --> 00:40:06.220
I'm playing.

501
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:06.740
Yeah.

502
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:08.200
Anyway, thank you so much.

503
00:40:08.460 --> 00:40:08.740
That's so helpful.

504
00:40:08.740 --> 00:40:09.300
You are so welcome.

505
00:40:09.580 --> 00:40:10.420
Thank you for coming live.

506
00:40:10.520 --> 00:40:12.180
It's so good to see you in person.

507
00:40:12.380 --> 00:40:12.900
I love it.

508
00:40:13.080 --> 00:40:13.700
Thank you.

509
00:40:14.020 --> 00:40:14.560
Appreciate you.

510
00:40:15.220 --> 00:40:16.220
Alaa, how are you, sweetheart?

511
00:40:16.260 --> 00:40:17.500
How are you?

512
00:40:17.540 --> 00:40:18.860
So good to see you.

513
00:40:20.340 --> 00:40:21.300
What's your question?

514
00:40:22.140 --> 00:40:23.220
I have a question.

515
00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:27.660
So if we move to the next step,

516
00:40:28.820 --> 00:40:33.020
will we be still able to ask anyone questions there?

517
00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:33.760
Or is it?

518
00:40:33.940 --> 00:40:35.620
Okay, so yeah, you,

519
00:40:35.940 --> 00:40:38.080
when you all move over to phase three,

520
00:40:38.200 --> 00:40:40.840
after you've gone through our content here,

521
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:47.500
you, there's coaches over there in phase three, okay?

522
00:40:47.500 --> 00:40:49.340
We will not have,

523
00:40:49.980 --> 00:40:53.980
you will not have these smaller group coaching sessions

524
00:40:53.980 --> 00:40:57.100
because there's more women and men in that community.

525
00:40:58.860 --> 00:41:02.600
We have co-ed events and we have just women events as well.

526
00:41:03.340 --> 00:41:07.920
I believe we typically have about two events a month.

527
00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:10.860
So it will not be set up like this.

528
00:41:11.040 --> 00:41:13.700
We have what's called Love Seat,

529
00:41:14.180 --> 00:41:17.320
and that will be with Jackie oftentimes if she's there.

530
00:41:17.880 --> 00:41:21.560
If not, there's Bethany or Renee or another coach.

531
00:41:23.040 --> 00:41:24.800
They jump on those calls.

532
00:41:26.280 --> 00:41:29.220
We have all sorts of different activities,

533
00:41:29.420 --> 00:41:32.080
but the one that will be very similar to this

534
00:41:32.080 --> 00:41:33.320
would be what's called Love Seat.

535
00:41:33.620 --> 00:41:35.000
And typically to get in the Love Seat,

536
00:41:35.080 --> 00:41:36.500
because there's so many people,

537
00:41:37.080 --> 00:41:39.320
you kind of have to watch for that post

538
00:41:39.660 --> 00:41:41.260
of when we're having the Love Seat.

539
00:41:41.320 --> 00:41:43.040
And if you want to put yourself in the Love Seat

540
00:41:43.040 --> 00:41:44.600
to ask a question,

541
00:41:45.100 --> 00:41:47.360
then you would have to like say,

542
00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:49.440
hey, can I be on the list?

543
00:41:50.080 --> 00:41:52.520
And then you'll get to ask your question.

544
00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:56.740
We also have in that phase, we call it Ask Jackie.

545
00:41:57.340 --> 00:41:59.740
And so there's a form under your resources

546
00:41:59.740 --> 00:42:01.260
when you get to that phase

547
00:42:01.260 --> 00:42:03.120
where you can type your questions

548
00:42:03.720 --> 00:42:08.460
and Jackie tries to answer those questions once a month

549
00:42:08.460 --> 00:42:09.960
and she'll do like a live.

550
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:12.380
Because then you ladies will also be invited

551
00:42:12.380 --> 00:42:15.760
to a Facebook group once you go to phase three.

552
00:42:15.860 --> 00:42:17.160
We have the app

553
00:42:17.160 --> 00:42:19.480
and then we also have a Facebook group as well.

554
00:42:20.700 --> 00:42:22.920
So that there's sometimes she'll just jump in

555
00:42:22.920 --> 00:42:23.960
and do lives on Facebook,

556
00:42:24.320 --> 00:42:26.160
because we're still trying to figure out

557
00:42:26.160 --> 00:42:27.100
how to do that here.

558
00:42:28.600 --> 00:42:29.620
Does that help?

559
00:42:30.060 --> 00:42:30.200
Yes.

560
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:30.980
Okay.

561
00:42:31.660 --> 00:42:37.600
And did you reply back on one of your posts that I...

562
00:42:37.600 --> 00:42:37.740
Yes.

563
00:42:37.740 --> 00:42:40.580
Okay, I'm gonna make sure I go back and look.

564
00:42:41.480 --> 00:42:44.280
Did I respond or are you still waiting on a response?

565
00:42:44.620 --> 00:42:44.800
Still waiting.

566
00:42:45.400 --> 00:42:45.580
Okay.

567
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:48.940
Let me get to that here in the next day or two, okay?

568
00:42:49.500 --> 00:42:50.140
Thank you.

569
00:42:50.340 --> 00:42:50.860
You're welcome.

570
00:42:51.980 --> 00:42:53.680
All right, Sam, you're up next.

571
00:42:55.480 --> 00:42:55.740
Okay.

572
00:42:57.000 --> 00:42:58.060
I'm trying to decide

573
00:42:58.060 --> 00:43:01.020
if I wanna ask something personal or practical.

574
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:06.700
Well, which one do you feel God is leading you more to?

575
00:43:06.820 --> 00:43:09.300
I feel like the personal one will be more helpful

576
00:43:09.300 --> 00:43:10.440
for the girls in the group.

577
00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:11.760
Okay, go for it.

578
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:15.540
So, and I wrote it down to be concise as well.

579
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:18.780
So I see you attract the type of men

580
00:43:18.780 --> 00:43:20.640
that want to be overly romantic,

581
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:22.640
like immediately calling you sweetie

582
00:43:23.080 --> 00:43:24.660
or stuff like that, right?

583
00:43:25.420 --> 00:43:27.920
Or if they're definitely Christian,

584
00:43:28.100 --> 00:43:30.140
they jump straight into like, well, do you want kids?

585
00:43:30.280 --> 00:43:33.180
Like, I feel like automatically they're like,

586
00:43:33.180 --> 00:43:34.960
I don't wanna waste my time with you if you don't,

587
00:43:35.140 --> 00:43:37.220
you know, like, I feel like that's God protection

588
00:43:37.220 --> 00:43:38.380
in a lot of ways.

589
00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:41.400
And I love the advice you've already given

590
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:42.480
in the community where it's like,

591
00:43:42.520 --> 00:43:43.640
I don't have to talk about that stuff

592
00:43:43.640 --> 00:43:44.480
with somebody I don't know.

593
00:43:44.660 --> 00:43:46.840
So I'm definitely leaning into that

594
00:43:46.840 --> 00:43:49.380
to these conversations that are initially starting

595
00:43:49.940 --> 00:43:51.480
in dating apps with guys.

596
00:43:51.880 --> 00:43:54.000
But I also know that Jackie talks about

597
00:43:54.000 --> 00:43:55.440
you attract what you want,

598
00:43:55.460 --> 00:43:57.400
and I don't really know how to attract

599
00:43:57.400 --> 00:43:58.940
what I think I want for myself.

600
00:43:59.160 --> 00:43:59.300
Okay.

601
00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:01.780
Like, I don't have a clue what's at the root of that,

602
00:44:02.040 --> 00:44:03.880
and I'd love to hear what Holy Spirit's

603
00:44:03.880 --> 00:44:04.980
Okay, sounds good.

604
00:44:05.180 --> 00:44:05.620
Yeah.

605
00:44:06.040 --> 00:44:10.020
So yeah, that comes from the,

606
00:44:10.620 --> 00:44:12.580
what you believe you become,

607
00:44:13.960 --> 00:44:15.260
and what you become you attract.

608
00:44:16.700 --> 00:44:20.180
So let's dive into what are you believing

609
00:44:20.420 --> 00:44:23.460
about men and being overly romantic?

610
00:44:25.160 --> 00:44:28.720
Is there anything that comes up?

611
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:34.560
Yeah, like what kind of,

612
00:44:34.700 --> 00:44:36.900
when these men are being

613
00:44:39.560 --> 00:44:42.060
very affectionate, early out the gate,

614
00:44:42.540 --> 00:44:46.580
what thoughts, anxious feelings, fears,

615
00:44:47.940 --> 00:44:50.120
is there a disgusting thought that comes,

616
00:44:50.180 --> 00:44:52.400
like, what are those thoughts that come up?

617
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:53.940
And then what does it remind you of?

618
00:44:54.320 --> 00:44:57.200
Like, what feels familiar about it?

619
00:44:57.200 --> 00:44:59.220
Because it could be something that you're believing

620
00:44:59.420 --> 00:44:59.980
that goes away in the middle of the night.

621
00:44:59.960 --> 00:44:59.960


622
00:44:59.980 --> 00:44:59.980


623
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.740
but rooted sometime in the past.

624
00:45:03.380 --> 00:45:03.820
Yeah.

625
00:45:03.900 --> 00:45:05.320
Is anything coming up?

626
00:45:05.680 --> 00:45:07.620
It actually, it creeps me out

627
00:45:07.620 --> 00:45:09.400
is the words that I wanna use.

628
00:45:10.600 --> 00:45:13.960
And it also like makes me think of a lot

629
00:45:14.400 --> 00:45:17.500
of past relationships that I've had

630
00:45:17.500 --> 00:45:19.280
that started with the physical.

631
00:45:19.980 --> 00:45:20.620
Okay.

632
00:45:21.100 --> 00:45:24.240
And I know that that has been rooted

633
00:45:24.240 --> 00:45:26.600
in this idea that like,

634
00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:29.300
they don't actually wanna get to know me

635
00:45:29.300 --> 00:45:32.200
unless they know that part of me first.

636
00:45:32.580 --> 00:45:32.800
Okay.

637
00:45:32.820 --> 00:45:34.260
Like I'm not worth getting to know.

638
00:45:35.080 --> 00:45:35.520
There.

639
00:45:36.340 --> 00:45:39.120
And that started with the very first

640
00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:41.080
like sexual relationship I had.

641
00:45:41.220 --> 00:45:41.480
Okay.

642
00:45:41.640 --> 00:45:45.480
I mean, like we had such great emotional connection,

643
00:45:45.720 --> 00:45:47.760
like we did not believe the same things.

644
00:45:47.780 --> 00:45:49.160
And I was like, no, I don't want to.

645
00:45:49.260 --> 00:45:49.840
And he was like, well,

646
00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:52.000
I can't have a relationship without it.

647
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:56.120
And, you know, and it just, it was a thing.

648
00:45:56.320 --> 00:45:57.860
Like, and it just developed over time.

649
00:45:57.860 --> 00:46:00.560
And like kept crossing little boundaries,

650
00:46:00.800 --> 00:46:01.780
little boundaries, little boundaries.

651
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:03.860
And then finally I gave in, you know.

652
00:46:04.020 --> 00:46:04.500
Yeah.

653
00:46:05.100 --> 00:46:07.200
I relate to this so much.

654
00:46:08.480 --> 00:46:10.500
So that's what I wanna get to.

655
00:46:10.580 --> 00:46:12.740
Cause so we're talking about past relationships.

656
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:14.600
And so then you kind of go into

657
00:46:14.600 --> 00:46:16.320
what is it that you're believing?

658
00:46:16.940 --> 00:46:18.460
And you have this belief

659
00:46:19.120 --> 00:46:21.520
that they don't wanna get to know you.

660
00:46:22.160 --> 00:46:23.720
That's all they want you for

661
00:46:23.720 --> 00:46:25.260
cause you're not worth getting to know.

662
00:46:25.260 --> 00:46:29.060
So that's right there is one of those core lies

663
00:46:30.340 --> 00:46:34.540
that God is gonna want to start healing.

664
00:46:35.320 --> 00:46:35.760
Keep working on it.

665
00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:36.600
Keep working on it.

666
00:46:36.840 --> 00:46:37.040
He's working on it.

667
00:46:37.040 --> 00:46:37.040


668
00:46:37.140 --> 00:46:38.100
He's working on it.

669
00:46:38.120 --> 00:46:38.500
Okay.

670
00:46:38.560 --> 00:46:40.740
And so I can speak that to,

671
00:46:40.900 --> 00:46:42.200
I can speak to that a little bit

672
00:46:42.240 --> 00:46:44.460
cause I've struggled with that myself.

673
00:46:46.360 --> 00:46:48.420
Cause the same thing happened to me.

674
00:46:48.480 --> 00:46:52.700
You know, I passed relationships, things like that.

675
00:46:53.260 --> 00:46:57.480
I thought the only way that I was worth getting to know

676
00:46:58.340 --> 00:47:01.900
and being loved was if I had sex.

677
00:47:03.980 --> 00:47:04.600
And so,

678
00:47:07.980 --> 00:47:11.520
that literally was like, I'm not worth anything else.

679
00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:14.240
And one thing that God took me through

680
00:47:14.620 --> 00:47:16.900
when I came in this program,

681
00:47:17.880 --> 00:47:22.480
he showed me where that lie got rooted in.

682
00:47:22.840 --> 00:47:22.840


683
00:47:22.840 --> 00:47:24.580
And I can share part of mine.

684
00:47:24.780 --> 00:47:25.700
It doesn't have to be yours.

685
00:47:26.060 --> 00:47:27.720
Maybe this is gonna help somebody else.

686
00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:29.140
And so that's why I will share it.

687
00:47:31.480 --> 00:47:34.180
And it doesn't mean that I don't have other layers

688
00:47:34.180 --> 00:47:35.940
that still need to be healed in this area.

689
00:47:36.200 --> 00:47:36.580
Okay.

690
00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:39.420
What I will say is it's really awesome

691
00:47:39.420 --> 00:47:41.320
when God kind of starts showing you.

692
00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:46.060
And one thing, when I started HeartWork back in 2020,

693
00:47:46.580 --> 00:47:49.740
this is one of the first HeartWork things that I did

694
00:47:50.240 --> 00:47:53.680
because I was like, why do I believe this?

695
00:47:54.380 --> 00:47:59.520
Like, why am I putting myself in these situations?

696
00:47:59.780 --> 00:48:02.240
Or why are these men coming to me?

697
00:48:03.200 --> 00:48:08.940
Like, I don't think, I know that I'm worth more.

698
00:48:09.100 --> 00:48:12.320
God says that, but why is it not hitting there?

699
00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:15.840
And I'm like, God, like, where did this come from?

700
00:48:17.520 --> 00:48:19.420
And praying into that,

701
00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:21.600
it took me a little while to pray into.

702
00:48:22.820 --> 00:48:27.360
God took me back to my teenage years.

703
00:48:28.540 --> 00:48:29.920
Y'all, I was a late bloomer.

704
00:48:31.520 --> 00:48:35.260
I didn't get my little monthly visitor

705
00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:37.520
until I was about 14 years old.

706
00:48:37.920 --> 00:48:38.300
Okay.

707
00:48:38.300 --> 00:48:41.040
And that already in of itself, like when all your friends,

708
00:48:41.760 --> 00:48:44.420
I mean, my, you know, like when all your friends

709
00:48:44.420 --> 00:48:45.480
are getting it and you don't,

710
00:48:45.620 --> 00:48:49.060
like I remember feeling like I'm different.

711
00:48:50.680 --> 00:48:52.460
I mean, as weird as that sounds,

712
00:48:52.500 --> 00:48:53.920
like now I'm like, oh my gosh,

713
00:48:54.440 --> 00:48:58.140
like, ugh, like whoever really wanted to have that.

714
00:48:59.060 --> 00:49:01.000
But I started feeling different.

715
00:49:01.080 --> 00:49:04.180
And so I was 14 and I got my monthly visitor

716
00:49:04.200 --> 00:49:07.180
and my dad, God love him.

717
00:49:07.700 --> 00:49:08.220
Okay.

718
00:49:08.220 --> 00:49:11.540
And, you know, God had to just show me my dad's heart

719
00:49:11.540 --> 00:49:13.560
and understand like where it was coming from.

720
00:49:14.640 --> 00:49:18.400
My dad is like, I'm a daddy's girl through and through.

721
00:49:19.160 --> 00:49:20.440
He's very protective.

722
00:49:20.740 --> 00:49:24.040
And again, God showed me through the years

723
00:49:24.500 --> 00:49:26.260
why my dad was protective.

724
00:49:27.260 --> 00:49:31.080
Things that happened to, you know, my cousins, his nieces,

725
00:49:31.300 --> 00:49:32.900
things that happened to his sister,

726
00:49:33.100 --> 00:49:34.140
things that happened to his mother,

727
00:49:34.140 --> 00:49:37.920
why he was very protective of me as a daughter,

728
00:49:38.860 --> 00:49:40.680
but he bought me flowers.

729
00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:46.200
And, you know, that was a really sweet gesture, you know?

730
00:49:46.780 --> 00:49:48.860
Of course, as a 14 year old girl,

731
00:49:49.500 --> 00:49:51.960
you're like, oh my gosh, dad, stop, right?

732
00:49:55.640 --> 00:49:59.640
And I, but I remember what he said.

733
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.120
And he said, and again, I know,

734
00:50:04.400 --> 00:50:06.000
and I didn't even take it then,

735
00:50:06.780 --> 00:50:10.060
but what he said, he may had good intentions for it,

736
00:50:10.060 --> 00:50:12.040
but I see where it got twisted.

737
00:50:12.240 --> 00:50:14.920
He said, Carla, I'm the only man

738
00:50:15.480 --> 00:50:17.620
that's ever gonna buy you flowers

739
00:50:17.620 --> 00:50:19.980
that's not gonna want something from you.

740
00:50:23.520 --> 00:50:28.040
That in of itself, again, I do not fault my dad at all.

741
00:50:28.040 --> 00:50:30.720
Like God, I mean, I forgave my dad for that.

742
00:50:30.820 --> 00:50:32.680
I mean, that was the forgiveness part

743
00:50:32.680 --> 00:50:34.540
that I had to walk through in my heart work,

744
00:50:35.960 --> 00:50:38.740
but I forgave him for it because God showed me

745
00:50:38.980 --> 00:50:41.380
that it was just something that the enemy

746
00:50:41.380 --> 00:50:43.360
was trying to twist and lie to me about,

747
00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:47.480
but my dad really was trying to be a good father.

748
00:50:47.720 --> 00:50:51.980
He just didn't get it right, you know, and that's okay.

749
00:50:54.880 --> 00:50:57.800
But it sat there and it got rooted

750
00:50:57.800 --> 00:51:01.040
and it like the enemy was able to sit here

751
00:51:01.040 --> 00:51:03.080
and toy with me with that,

752
00:51:03.400 --> 00:51:04.380
so that through the years

753
00:51:04.380 --> 00:51:07.740
when I was being rejected in high school,

754
00:51:08.080 --> 00:51:10.580
you know, I wasn't the popular girl,

755
00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:13.880
I wasn't super pretty, guys didn't wanna date me,

756
00:51:15.840 --> 00:51:17.180
none of that, you know?

757
00:51:17.180 --> 00:51:19.400
And so that in of itself, that rejection,

758
00:51:20.940 --> 00:51:24.360
it got so rooted and so I started believing

759
00:51:24.940 --> 00:51:26.660
that's what it was tied to.

760
00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:29.820
That the only way a man could love me

761
00:51:29.820 --> 00:51:32.120
is if I gave my body to them

762
00:51:33.980 --> 00:51:36.060
and that's where the root started.

763
00:51:36.520 --> 00:51:38.680
And so once I could release that,

764
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:41.480
it just opened up more doors

765
00:51:41.480 --> 00:51:47.000
because I started to realize that's not what all men want

766
00:51:48.440 --> 00:51:49.700
and then I was able,

767
00:51:49.860 --> 00:51:52.100
and it doesn't mean that those guys didn't approach me.

768
00:51:52.940 --> 00:51:56.280
What I saw was I knew how to spot them

769
00:51:56.280 --> 00:51:57.380
sooner rather than later

770
00:51:57.620 --> 00:51:59.340
and I knew how to recognize it,

771
00:51:59.520 --> 00:52:02.400
I knew how not to get offended by it

772
00:52:02.660 --> 00:52:04.620
and I could just easily move on

773
00:52:04.620 --> 00:52:05.720
and not even skip a beat

774
00:52:05.720 --> 00:52:07.340
because to me, I already knew,

775
00:52:07.560 --> 00:52:10.580
I'm like, the enemy is trying to like literally tempt me

776
00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:14.140
but he's forgetting I've overcome that.

777
00:52:15.120 --> 00:52:16.420
God's already done that for me.

778
00:52:17.560 --> 00:52:19.000
And I could just move on

779
00:52:19.000 --> 00:52:22.080
and then he could no longer use that anymore.

780
00:52:22.420 --> 00:52:24.740
So I hope that gives you some encouragement

781
00:52:25.340 --> 00:52:28.060
to spend some time with the Lord more in that process

782
00:52:28.540 --> 00:52:30.500
of just going and searching,

783
00:52:30.980 --> 00:52:38.200
asking him to reveal where did that lie get rooted in,

784
00:52:38.560 --> 00:52:42.780
this belief that they don't wanna get to know you,

785
00:52:43.740 --> 00:52:45.260
they don't wanna get to know you,

786
00:52:45.380 --> 00:52:48.800
that you're not worth anything because that is a lie

787
00:52:52.220 --> 00:52:56.780
and God is coming in because he's gonna heal that.

788
00:52:59.240 --> 00:53:02.480
Yeah, absolutely, he's already healed layers of it too.

789
00:53:03.660 --> 00:53:05.200
Like the biggest one

790
00:53:05.200 --> 00:53:06.880
that I think he's really worked on me with

791
00:53:06.880 --> 00:53:08.840
because I didn't have my dad at 14,

792
00:53:09.440 --> 00:53:12.560
also started then but also got really sick.

793
00:53:12.640 --> 00:53:14.700
Like I didn't have my next one until I was 16

794
00:53:14.700 --> 00:53:15.920
and I lost all my hair

795
00:53:15.960 --> 00:53:18.460
and I've really had thin hair since then.

796
00:53:18.460 --> 00:53:21.460
So that's been a real struggle in general,

797
00:53:22.600 --> 00:53:25.240
like feeling valuable or like pretty,

798
00:53:25.380 --> 00:53:27.860
all those things like we've worked on stuff but-

799
00:53:27.860 --> 00:53:30.100
Yeah, so that memory right there,

800
00:53:30.220 --> 00:53:33.180
I got Holy Spirit goosebumps on that one.

801
00:53:33.480 --> 00:53:35.840
Spend time in prayer with that this week.

802
00:53:37.460 --> 00:53:40.680
Let your heavenly father just wrap his arms around you

803
00:53:41.240 --> 00:53:45.020
and just show you things that maybe you didn't see before

804
00:53:45.740 --> 00:53:50.760
and allow him to come in and fill those spaces in your heart

805
00:53:50.760 --> 00:53:55.820
where you just felt like you weren't enough, okay?

806
00:53:56.120 --> 00:53:57.840
And then if you feel comfortable,

807
00:53:58.820 --> 00:54:01.240
come and let us know what God's doing.

808
00:54:02.600 --> 00:54:05.900
And thank you, Sam, for sharing that vulnerable piece.

809
00:54:05.940 --> 00:54:09.020
I'm so thankful that you shared that.

810
00:54:09.800 --> 00:54:13.620
It encouraged me to share my vulnerable testimony in that.

811
00:54:14.780 --> 00:54:17.820
And just, this is what this program is all about, ladies,

812
00:54:17.900 --> 00:54:21.440
is it's opening up and sharing those pieces

813
00:54:21.820 --> 00:54:23.860
because we all can get healing from it.

814
00:54:25.040 --> 00:54:27.120
We can, right?

815
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:28.400
All right.

816
00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:30.840
Hey, Lori, I'm gonna hold off on you

817
00:54:30.840 --> 00:54:32.880
because I know you and I are very similar

818
00:54:32.880 --> 00:54:33.820
and we like to talk.

819
00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:37.260
So if you don't mind to kind of wait till the end,

820
00:54:37.300 --> 00:54:38.340
I'm gonna let Alicia go

821
00:54:38.340 --> 00:54:39.620
because I do see her hand up

822
00:54:39.620 --> 00:54:44.180
and I don't think I've ever gotten to her in the past

823
00:54:44.180 --> 00:54:46.140
and I feel like I skip her often.

824
00:54:46.300 --> 00:54:48.440
And so I do not want to do that.

825
00:54:50.240 --> 00:54:52.000
So if you don't mind, Lori,

826
00:54:52.380 --> 00:54:54.440
because I know you and I could just get talking.

827
00:54:56.320 --> 00:54:58.540
And then I did wanna share something else

828
00:54:58.540 --> 00:54:59.880
and if I don't get to it.

829
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.560
I will try to remember to get it to it next week.

830
00:55:02.880 --> 00:55:07.220
And then Sarah shall, like, if I don't get to it,

831
00:55:07.240 --> 00:55:09.800
I will, myself or Bethany will respond

832
00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:11.380
and we can unpack that a little more.

833
00:55:11.420 --> 00:55:13.700
And if we need to, we'll unpack it next week.

834
00:55:13.720 --> 00:55:14.260
Sound good?

835
00:55:15.800 --> 00:55:16.860
Okay, perfect.

836
00:55:17.140 --> 00:55:18.300
All right, Alicia, you're up.

837
00:55:19.440 --> 00:55:20.120
Hey, how are you?

838
00:55:20.720 --> 00:55:20.800
Good.

839
00:55:21.380 --> 00:55:23.280
Okay, so this is interesting.

840
00:55:23.340 --> 00:55:24.920
I mean, all good things are going on here.

841
00:55:25.060 --> 00:55:27.440
Took your advice weeks ago and ended up

842
00:55:27.440 --> 00:55:30.420
still on my role on, you know, diving deep spiritually

843
00:55:30.420 --> 00:55:32.920
early on with those states.

844
00:55:33.580 --> 00:55:35.820
So I met a really great guy and he's wonderful

845
00:55:35.820 --> 00:55:37.740
and it's good and things are going great.

846
00:55:38.340 --> 00:55:40.300
The thing that I have a question about

847
00:55:41.040 --> 00:55:44.100
is he's really excited about me

848
00:55:44.100 --> 00:55:46.080
and wants to tell the world.

849
00:55:47.820 --> 00:55:49.040
And I'm-

850
00:55:49.040 --> 00:55:51.540
Well, of course, of course, you're awesome, right?

851
00:55:51.720 --> 00:55:52.780
Right, right, right.

852
00:55:52.900 --> 00:55:53.280
Catch.

853
00:55:53.300 --> 00:55:54.880
I mean, yeah, look at me, right?

854
00:55:54.880 --> 00:56:00.080
So I just do not know how to navigate this

855
00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:02.740
because I, and this was something that came up

856
00:56:02.740 --> 00:56:04.940
in conversation last night with him over the phone

857
00:56:04.940 --> 00:56:08.540
and I didn't realize that I have a really sore spot

858
00:56:08.540 --> 00:56:11.460
with being really public about my life.

859
00:56:11.760 --> 00:56:12.720
Okay, sorry.

860
00:56:12.860 --> 00:56:14.160
From past wounding.

861
00:56:14.840 --> 00:56:14.920
Okay.

862
00:56:14.920 --> 00:56:17.900
And so he's like,

863
00:56:17.900 --> 00:56:19.560
I'm gonna post a picture of us on Facebook.

864
00:56:19.560 --> 00:56:21.600
And I'm like, oh, you are?

865
00:56:22.280 --> 00:56:24.120
Okay, I don't know how I feel about that.

866
00:56:24.640 --> 00:56:26.820
And then he had asked me to have a coffee date

867
00:56:26.820 --> 00:56:29.520
with him yesterday and we both work in the medical field

868
00:56:29.700 --> 00:56:31.020
and at different locations.

869
00:56:31.980 --> 00:56:33.500
And so I met over at the hospital,

870
00:56:33.680 --> 00:56:37.280
the children's hospital here and conveniently,

871
00:56:37.760 --> 00:56:39.400
like multiple coworkers were like,

872
00:56:39.620 --> 00:56:41.280
oh, this is your girlfriend, this is your girlfriends.

873
00:56:41.540 --> 00:56:43.560
And I'm like, okay.

874
00:56:44.280 --> 00:56:46.700
So yeah, but we're like-

875
00:56:46.700 --> 00:56:48.040
Did he post that photo?

876
00:56:48.740 --> 00:56:49.700
Yeah, yeah.

877
00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:49.980
He did.

878
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:52.540
Did he tag you in it?

879
00:56:53.060 --> 00:56:56.600
Yeah, and his friends are trying to friend request me

880
00:56:56.600 --> 00:56:58.500
and I'm like, I can't do this.

881
00:56:58.500 --> 00:56:59.740
You don't have to do that.

882
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:00.840
You don't have to do that.

883
00:57:01.440 --> 00:57:01.440


884
00:57:01.860 --> 00:57:04.320
How long have you guys known each other?

885
00:57:04.760 --> 00:57:07.160
September 2nd was the first day we started talking.

886
00:57:07.960 --> 00:57:08.000
Okay.

887
00:57:08.840 --> 00:57:10.300
On the app, on the app.

888
00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:12.760
And then we met in person about two weeks later

889
00:57:14.200 --> 00:57:17.840
and it's just moving a lot faster than I'm comfortable with.

890
00:57:18.160 --> 00:57:19.120
Yeah, absolutely.

891
00:57:19.900 --> 00:57:22.820
So you basically just met in person a week ago.

892
00:57:24.260 --> 00:57:25.920
Sorry, can you repeat that?

893
00:57:26.460 --> 00:57:27.160
Yeah, that's fine.

894
00:57:27.280 --> 00:57:30.220
So you guys met on the app on September 2nd.

895
00:57:30.440 --> 00:57:32.660
You met two weeks after that in person,

896
00:57:32.780 --> 00:57:36.060
which would be the 16th, which was last week.

897
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:37.460
Oh, sorry.

898
00:57:37.480 --> 00:57:38.580
Then it would have been two weeks ago.

899
00:57:38.760 --> 00:57:40.140
So I didn't math that right.

900
00:57:40.400 --> 00:57:42.460
Yeah, so we met about a week after.

901
00:57:42.960 --> 00:57:43.140
A week after.

902
00:57:43.320 --> 00:57:45.560
Okay, so you guys have seen each other in person

903
00:57:45.560 --> 00:57:46.480
for about two weeks.

904
00:57:46.800 --> 00:57:47.120
Okay.

905
00:57:47.540 --> 00:57:47.720
Yeah.

906
00:57:47.720 --> 00:57:49.140
Okay, sorry, I'm looking at my calendar

907
00:57:49.140 --> 00:57:51.840
because I'm again, I can understand again,

908
00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:56.160
like this is bringing up some old wounds.

909
00:57:56.600 --> 00:57:59.320
Again, this is all, dating will do this ladies.

910
00:58:00.020 --> 00:58:01.960
Dating will bring up those little areas

911
00:58:01.960 --> 00:58:04.420
that God wants to kind of start working through.

912
00:58:04.840 --> 00:58:06.680
Don't be scared of it.

913
00:58:07.240 --> 00:58:07.840
Okay.

914
00:58:08.520 --> 00:58:11.020
Have you gotten to watch the boundaries video yet?

915
00:58:12.300 --> 00:58:13.320
Yeah, yeah.

916
00:58:13.360 --> 00:58:15.020
And I'll go back up.

917
00:58:15.120 --> 00:58:17.540
Yeah, that's coming up because here's the thing.

918
00:58:17.540 --> 00:58:19.320
Now you guys are in relationship.

919
00:58:19.440 --> 00:58:20.680
Are you saying you're low?

920
00:58:20.720 --> 00:58:23.040
I mean, has he asked you to be in level three yet?

921
00:58:24.240 --> 00:58:25.120
Yeah, yeah.

922
00:58:25.120 --> 00:58:27.360
Well, he's like, can we be exclusive?

923
00:58:27.780 --> 00:58:29.640
And I just said, absolutely.

924
00:58:30.040 --> 00:58:32.340
Like, I'm not interested in anyone else on the app.

925
00:58:32.980 --> 00:58:33.540
Okay, perfect.

926
00:58:33.860 --> 00:58:37.440
So this is that time where you guys are at a level three.

927
00:58:37.800 --> 00:58:39.600
So again, ladies, when I'm coaching her,

928
00:58:39.780 --> 00:58:42.440
keep this in mind, she's in level three.

929
00:58:42.820 --> 00:58:44.880
If you ladies are in level two,

930
00:58:45.480 --> 00:58:49.120
don't think that you're gonna walk through this yet, okay?

931
00:58:49.380 --> 00:58:51.760
You wait till you're at level three and you've led.

932
00:58:52.020 --> 00:58:57.300
So she had, I'm assuming you had a piece about saying yes,

933
00:58:57.680 --> 00:59:02.160
that yeah, let's go exclusive and that's fine, okay?

934
00:59:02.380 --> 00:59:03.680
Follow that, okay?

935
00:59:05.300 --> 00:59:08.160
People don't have to get married to people

936
00:59:08.160 --> 00:59:09.940
that are in level three, okay?

937
00:59:10.340 --> 00:59:14.120
So this is when you are getting to know each other

938
00:59:14.120 --> 00:59:16.360
more now on a romantic level.

939
00:59:17.200 --> 00:59:21.680
And so you're gonna be put in situations and scenarios

940
00:59:22.240 --> 00:59:23.980
where you're really gonna see like

941
00:59:23.980 --> 00:59:25.540
how y'all work through conflict

942
00:59:26.200 --> 00:59:29.620
and how he's gonna honor your boundaries, okay?

943
00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:33.760
This is also an opportunity for you to go through

944
00:59:33.760 --> 00:59:38.000
and again, spend time processing with the Lord.

945
00:59:38.140 --> 00:59:40.320
Like what about your past relationships?

946
00:59:40.880 --> 00:59:44.840
What about being public about things scares you?

947
00:59:45.320 --> 00:59:51.260
What fears and thoughts are driving that fear?

948
00:59:52.500 --> 00:59:56.540
And let's see what comes to surface

949
00:59:57.120 --> 00:59:59.700
and if there's some healing that needs to take place there.

950
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.400
Okay, so that's important first for you.

951
01:00:04.060 --> 01:00:06.480
Okay, this is, now that's,

952
01:00:07.060 --> 01:00:09.800
regardless of where this relationship goes,

953
01:00:11.560 --> 01:00:13.920
God's using this opportunity to heal in this area.

954
01:00:14.460 --> 01:00:17.640
Okay, that's what we're focusing on there, okay?

955
01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:21.120
Now, as far as moving forward with him,

956
01:00:21.320 --> 01:00:23.700
we're not gonna attach ourselves to the outcome.

957
01:00:23.900 --> 01:00:27.480
We're going to walk this out with,

958
01:00:28.040 --> 01:00:30.380
okay, now I have an opportunity

959
01:00:30.480 --> 01:00:33.700
to see how he's gonna show up and how I show up.

960
01:00:34.020 --> 01:00:35.320
And if there's any other areas

961
01:00:35.320 --> 01:00:37.880
that I need to work on in relationship,

962
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:40.660
maybe it's gonna highlight something to him

963
01:00:40.660 --> 01:00:43.460
or it's gonna highlight something to me about him.

964
01:00:44.940 --> 01:00:48.380
It's okay for you to be honest with him.

965
01:00:49.640 --> 01:00:51.400
It's okay to communicate.

966
01:00:54.000 --> 01:00:55.740
Communication in these level threes

967
01:00:55.740 --> 01:00:57.880
and in romantic relationships,

968
01:00:58.500 --> 01:01:01.500
if you're like me, they can be a little scary,

969
01:01:01.960 --> 01:01:04.620
especially because if you've had past relationships

970
01:01:04.620 --> 01:01:06.040
where there's been hurt there.

971
01:01:06.520 --> 01:01:08.820
Y'all, I've been married two years

972
01:01:08.820 --> 01:01:14.100
and I'm just now at a point where I can go to my husband

973
01:01:14.100 --> 01:01:16.780
and be really vulnerable with him

974
01:01:17.840 --> 01:01:21.120
because I know he's a safe space.

975
01:01:22.740 --> 01:01:24.320
It took me a while.

976
01:01:24.320 --> 01:01:26.040
It took me even being married to him.

977
01:01:27.480 --> 01:01:29.800
I had moments of that,

978
01:01:29.920 --> 01:01:32.000
but there were still just certain things

979
01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:34.820
that I was very close off to.

980
01:01:35.980 --> 01:01:41.820
And so it's a process of allowing yourself

981
01:01:42.300 --> 01:01:45.000
to communicate with another person

982
01:01:45.220 --> 01:01:47.060
and open your heart to them.

983
01:01:47.160 --> 01:01:51.180
And again, I'm not gonna say just throw it all out there,

984
01:01:51.420 --> 01:01:54.080
but this is the opportunity where you can have

985
01:01:54.080 --> 01:01:58.780
like, hey, when this is happening,

986
01:01:59.100 --> 01:02:00.700
when this situation happened,

987
01:02:00.740 --> 01:02:04.240
like when you wanted to post and when you tagged me

988
01:02:04.240 --> 01:02:06.300
and your friends are asking to request me

989
01:02:06.300 --> 01:02:07.660
and when I met you for coffee

990
01:02:07.660 --> 01:02:09.860
and everyone's coming up to me like I'm your girlfriend,

991
01:02:10.940 --> 01:02:13.500
this is what I was feeling

992
01:02:14.120 --> 01:02:18.680
and this is why these are things that happened to me.

993
01:02:19.300 --> 01:02:21.640
And then you can express that to him

994
01:02:21.640 --> 01:02:23.020
and then you can even share.

995
01:02:24.060 --> 01:02:27.080
And I would say, go to the Lord first

996
01:02:27.080 --> 01:02:30.020
and process this first before having a conversation.

997
01:02:30.080 --> 01:02:30.420
Good.

998
01:02:30.760 --> 01:02:33.880
And then figure out what is it that you need?

999
01:02:34.680 --> 01:02:37.580
What boundary do you need to put in place?

1000
01:02:38.220 --> 01:02:45.560
If you feel like you need some time before this official,

1001
01:02:47.020 --> 01:02:49.000
express that, make him aware

1002
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.040
that it's not you rejecting him.

1003
01:02:51.040 --> 01:02:55.420
It's just you having to go through this process.

1004
01:02:55.520 --> 01:02:57.000
I did that with my husband.

1005
01:02:57.140 --> 01:02:59.020
He wanted to make it Facebook official

1006
01:02:59.020 --> 01:03:02.460
and I was like, can we wait?

1007
01:03:03.620 --> 01:03:04.980
It threw him off.

1008
01:03:05.420 --> 01:03:08.840
But once I explained to him like where my heart was

1009
01:03:08.840 --> 01:03:12.740
and my explanation to him was different, I don't know.

1010
01:03:13.260 --> 01:03:16.260
So as to why I wanted to hold off.

1011
01:03:16.900 --> 01:03:19.120
Because when we started dating

1012
01:03:19.120 --> 01:03:20.700
and we knew we were kind of going

1013
01:03:20.700 --> 01:03:22.000
in a direction of marriage,

1014
01:03:23.360 --> 01:03:27.680
I did not wanna invite the public into that situation

1015
01:03:27.680 --> 01:03:28.720
because I was older.

1016
01:03:29.020 --> 01:03:30.400
I was in my late thirties.

1017
01:03:30.700 --> 01:03:33.380
I had a child, I'd never been married.

1018
01:03:34.220 --> 01:03:36.840
People knew that I wanted to be married and was dating.

1019
01:03:37.700 --> 01:03:41.080
People knew that I'd get excited about somebody

1020
01:03:41.080 --> 01:03:43.340
and then the relationship would end

1021
01:03:43.340 --> 01:03:45.200
or I'd end up in a toxic relationship.

1022
01:03:46.800 --> 01:03:48.740
I didn't, especially on Facebook,

1023
01:03:48.740 --> 01:03:53.600
I didn't want negativity in the spirit.

1024
01:03:54.360 --> 01:03:57.100
I didn't want that going out there

1025
01:03:57.100 --> 01:04:00.780
and then people having comments and sharing their thoughts,

1026
01:04:00.980 --> 01:04:02.860
even if they weren't sharing it with me,

1027
01:04:02.860 --> 01:04:06.680
if they said it out loud or they're saying it in their head,

1028
01:04:06.680 --> 01:04:08.420
they're releasing that in the spirit.

1029
01:04:08.580 --> 01:04:10.420
And I'm like, absolutely not.

1030
01:04:10.460 --> 01:04:13.080
I do not want that out there.

1031
01:04:13.300 --> 01:04:16.600
I want to slowly let people know

1032
01:04:16.600 --> 01:04:18.860
that I'm partnered with,

1033
01:04:19.680 --> 01:04:22.560
that spiritually are walking this journey with me,

1034
01:04:22.980 --> 01:04:24.300
that are praying for me.

1035
01:04:25.240 --> 01:04:26.240
And that was important.

1036
01:04:26.440 --> 01:04:30.760
I'm like, let me talk to those people.

1037
01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:34.740
I let this community know very early on.

1038
01:04:35.360 --> 01:04:39.280
I didn't let my social media community know.

1039
01:04:40.400 --> 01:04:45.100
I let this community know and then I got prayed over

1040
01:04:45.860 --> 01:04:48.300
and I just soaked in that.

1041
01:04:48.600 --> 01:04:49.900
I prayed over myself.

1042
01:04:50.800 --> 01:04:52.740
I prayed over the relationship.

1043
01:04:53.440 --> 01:04:55.400
My friends prayed over me, Jackie,

1044
01:04:56.020 --> 01:04:58.640
like all the leaders, everyone poured into that

1045
01:04:58.640 --> 01:04:59.880
to where I felt

1046
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:09.840
Okay, God's got me, I'm covered in prayer, and then just naturally, God's like, okay,

1047
01:05:09.840 --> 01:05:10.920
now it's time.

1048
01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:15.360
And it didn't even take me that long, I think it was like a couple of weeks.

1049
01:05:16.680 --> 01:05:20.940
And then I was good, because again, that was my reason.

1050
01:05:20.940 --> 01:05:30.560
And when I expressed that to him, my husband, such a honorable, masculine, mature man, just

1051
01:05:30.560 --> 01:05:31.500
honored that boundary.

1052
01:05:32.360 --> 01:05:33.960
And ladies, they exist.

1053
01:05:35.120 --> 01:05:36.900
Honorable men exist out there, I promise.

1054
01:05:37.540 --> 01:05:37.820
Thank you.

1055
01:05:38.140 --> 01:05:40.700
This is his opportunity to honor that.

1056
01:05:40.800 --> 01:05:41.920
And you'll get to see things.

1057
01:05:42.020 --> 01:05:43.520
And you've got a community here.

1058
01:05:43.800 --> 01:05:49.720
So whichever way it goes, or whatever, like, if there's a road bump or something that comes,

1059
01:05:49.720 --> 01:05:51.440
you got us here.

1060
01:05:52.580 --> 01:05:52.600
Thank you.

1061
01:05:52.880 --> 01:05:55.960
Okay, you just share it with us, say, hey, I did this, this is what happened.

1062
01:05:56.320 --> 01:05:56.920
What do I do?

1063
01:05:57.220 --> 01:05:58.260
Coaches help me.

1064
01:05:58.880 --> 01:06:00.300
And we got you.

1065
01:06:00.640 --> 01:06:00.800
Thank you.

1066
01:06:01.540 --> 01:06:01.880
You're welcome.

1067
01:06:03.220 --> 01:06:05.380
All right, Lori, you're next.

1068
01:06:06.360 --> 01:06:06.940
How are you?

1069
01:06:07.280 --> 01:06:08.540
It's always so good to see you.

1070
01:06:08.680 --> 01:06:09.340
Oh, thanks.

1071
01:06:09.720 --> 01:06:10.160
You too.

1072
01:06:10.440 --> 01:06:16.200
Gosh, I so just like getting on the vulnerability train, like I so relate with your story and

1073
01:06:16.200 --> 01:06:17.040
what you shared.

1074
01:06:18.520 --> 01:06:25.480
And yeah, like I've encountered the Lord in that place of like, you know, why I went to

1075
01:06:26.020 --> 01:06:32.500
intimacy before I, you know, like, was so afraid to be known.

1076
01:06:34.420 --> 01:06:38.840
But yeah, and the Lord actually went into this, like, just I wasn't gonna say this,

1077
01:06:38.940 --> 01:06:43.560
but like the Lord just even encountered me in this space where and maybe this is for

1078
01:06:43.560 --> 01:06:48.160
Sam, too, if that's okay, but like, the Lord just like encountered me in this place that

1079
01:06:48.160 --> 01:06:53.800
I could never make sense of, I had this reoccurring nightmare as a child, that there was this

1080
01:06:53.800 --> 01:06:59.760
guy that would come up real fast, they'd drive like recklessly into the driveway in a black

1081
01:06:59.760 --> 01:07:06.000
suit and he'd chase me to the on the driveway to the garage door, and I could never make

1082
01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:07.880
sense of like, why it was a recurring nightmare.

1083
01:07:07.880 --> 01:07:10.540
Then I was like, went into this encounter.

1084
01:07:11.340 --> 01:07:17.320
And like, maybe then, like, days later, I was looking at old photos in that car, that

1085
01:07:17.320 --> 01:07:21.520
getaway car that he drove was a car that we had early on in childhood.

1086
01:07:21.640 --> 01:07:26.500
And my Lord, my, the Lord showed me that this was actually a spirit of abandonment, that

1087
01:07:26.500 --> 01:07:34.940
I know that my dad, like, had things where he was like, not faithful, and showed me that

1088
01:07:34.940 --> 01:07:39.520
I was feeling the energy of him leaving.

1089
01:07:40.420 --> 01:07:46.180
And so it was just like, it was, I could never I'm like, that was a real car.

1090
01:07:46.500 --> 01:07:47.860
Like Oh, my word.

1091
01:07:48.740 --> 01:07:50.500
Like I was just so like,

1092
01:07:51.280 --> 01:07:55.160
And then once that once you realize that, like, what did God?

1093
01:07:56.040 --> 01:07:58.380
Did God start showing you where he was at?

1094
01:07:58.440 --> 01:07:59.220
And all of that?

1095
01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:01.260
And have you worked through that?

1096
01:08:02.300 --> 01:08:11.800
I have encountered the Lord in like him, he'll like, bring me then into a scene of who my

1097
01:08:11.800 --> 01:08:17.279
parents were in the spirit, and who he made them to be without any of this.

1098
01:08:18.000 --> 01:08:31.240
Yeah, I go into these encounters with my parents completely whole, completely, like, full of

1099
01:08:31.240 --> 01:08:33.319
Yeah, it's like crazy.

1100
01:08:34.200 --> 01:08:36.700
But so yeah, yeah.

1101
01:08:36.740 --> 01:08:38.800
That's Oh, thank you for sharing that.

1102
01:08:38.920 --> 01:08:39.220
Yeah.

1103
01:08:40.080 --> 01:08:41.359
Yeah, 100%.

1104
01:08:41.359 --> 01:08:47.180
Like, it's so interesting, like, in that moment, like you realize it was something that came

1105
01:08:47.180 --> 01:08:52.800
from, you know, the past, and that allowed you an opportunity to get healing and for

1106
01:08:52.800 --> 01:08:58.080
God to come in and show you all of that so that you can release that and you don't have

1107
01:08:58.080 --> 01:09:01.040
to take on any sort of spirit of abandonment.

1108
01:09:01.620 --> 01:09:09.840
Like you can cast that out because God's showing you what what he created your parents to be.

1109
01:09:11.040 --> 01:09:11.040


1110
01:09:11.220 --> 01:09:16.060
And, and that in of itself sometimes allows that, you know, area of that compassion at

1111
01:09:16.060 --> 01:09:19.660
times where it's just it can, it can really, really move us and heal us.

1112
01:09:19.939 --> 01:09:21.760
So, Laurie, thank you so much.

1113
01:09:22.180 --> 01:09:22.319
All right.

1114
01:09:22.620 --> 01:09:26.779
I don't know if Caitlin actually, that wasn't the reason why I hopped on.

1115
01:09:29.279 --> 01:09:33.439
I was sure you're gonna have to be short, brief and powerful, because I want to get

1116
01:09:33.439 --> 01:09:36.340
to Kim and I'm guessing that Caitlin might still be driving.

1117
01:09:36.720 --> 01:09:42.080
So Caitlin, if you're still on, post in the app so that we can respond to you.

1118
01:09:42.439 --> 01:09:47.100
And I'm just now noticing I'm not seeing any of the feed in the chat.

1119
01:09:47.180 --> 01:09:48.380
So I got to scroll through.

1120
01:09:48.760 --> 01:09:51.640
So I apologize if y'all put stuff there and I haven't responded.

1121
01:09:52.420 --> 01:09:52.720
All right.

1122
01:09:53.120 --> 01:09:53.859
Short, brief and powerful.

1123
01:09:53.920 --> 01:09:54.700
Laurie, let's go.

1124
01:09:54.700 --> 01:09:59.980
So this is going back to that guy, Jay, that is out in Southern California, the one that.

1125
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.640
I had felt like I had the vic that I had the victory over.

1126
01:10:05.440 --> 01:10:09.840
Okay. And then God just gave me the word just stand. And then

1127
01:10:09.840 --> 01:10:13.420
just like experiencing like really God confirming that I do

1128
01:10:13.420 --> 01:10:19.600
hear from him well. And so it's just like the next day that that

1129
01:10:19.620 --> 01:10:27.280
I then a pastor that I had at ministry school posted this.

1130
01:10:28.820 --> 01:10:35.220
No way. And it's a book. And I know I know we don't share like

1131
01:10:35.220 --> 01:10:38.480
resources on Yeah, I mean, you can show me the book title. We

1132
01:10:38.480 --> 01:10:42.600
don't have to like go into detail about it. So I didn't

1133
01:10:42.600 --> 01:10:46.720
know it was a book. So then I just posted like a he's a he's

1134
01:10:46.720 --> 01:10:53.060
a prophet. And he and so it's just like such a big deal to me.

1135
01:10:53.180 --> 01:10:56.580
So then I was like, okay, like I'm starting to ask like more

1136
01:10:56.580 --> 01:10:59.200
questions like what is just stand mean? Because I don't want

1137
01:10:59.200 --> 01:11:03.040
to just be like, laying on my sofa going, okay, this is what

1138
01:11:03.040 --> 01:11:05.980
just standing like, what does it practically mean? So I asked him

1139
01:11:05.980 --> 01:11:08.800
the question, then the next day, I realized it was a book. So

1140
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:11.220
then I'm like, well, God is so on this. So I ordered it and it

1141
01:11:11.220 --> 01:11:17.800
just came today. And in the meantime, like Jay, he's like,

1142
01:11:18.260 --> 01:11:22.200
so I remember like processing like he like felt like it was

1143
01:11:22.200 --> 01:11:27.120
like a familiar spirit, but it's like, it is but it isn't.

1144
01:11:27.380 --> 01:11:31.760
So I'm, I'm questioning. And I don't want to sit in confusion.

1145
01:11:31.960 --> 01:11:36.680
So I'm like saying things out loud again. Okay. But like, he's

1146
01:11:36.680 --> 01:11:40.080
like, not like other people, like from the standpoint that he

1147
01:11:40.080 --> 01:11:43.740
doesn't just like, when I asked set a boundary, he honors it.

1148
01:11:44.420 --> 01:11:49.280
And I never did say anything after our last, well, I said one

1149
01:11:49.280 --> 01:11:53.800
that same evening of our last conversation. And I was thinking

1150
01:11:53.800 --> 01:11:57.100
I was going to move forward with it the next morning. And then I

1151
01:11:57.100 --> 01:12:04.020
heard the Lord say, not this one. Yeah. And, and then the

1152
01:12:04.020 --> 01:12:08.420
just staying came. But like, so he, he did on and like he went

1153
01:12:08.420 --> 01:12:12.800
away. And like in past times, they would have like kept just

1154
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:16.680
kept on coming. So it's like he did. He honored my boundaries.

1155
01:12:16.680 --> 01:12:22.940
And he, he, he was never like smothering. And there was

1156
01:12:22.940 --> 01:12:25.680
something different in the fact that like, I actually really

1157
01:12:25.680 --> 01:12:32.960
felt like I could be myself. And I felt like there was this, it

1158
01:12:32.960 --> 01:12:37.780
felt like in the beginning, I would say, I feel like, oh, this

1159
01:12:37.780 --> 01:12:42.100
is what a spirit to spirit connection feels like. Because I

1160
01:12:42.100 --> 01:12:47.340
just felt like I could. I didn't ever share

1161
01:12:47.720 --> 01:12:53.560
inappropriately. I, I felt like there were good boundaries. And

1162
01:12:55.660 --> 01:12:59.840
yeah, like he he just messaged. So he didn't message for like a

1163
01:12:59.840 --> 01:13:02.880
week. And then he messaged and then I didn't say anything

1164
01:13:02.880 --> 01:13:06.600
because I just thought I'm just supposed to stand and then maybe

1165
01:13:06.600 --> 01:13:08.820
like a week later, maybe it's been a couple of weeks and he

1166
01:13:08.880 --> 01:13:12.380
posted and he's like, Oh, this movie, like, I just watched this

1167
01:13:12.380 --> 01:13:15.760
movie and he sent a picture of himself and he like so gorgeous.

1168
01:13:16.760 --> 01:13:17.260
And

1169
01:13:17.520 --> 01:13:20.220
this to you to like, after two weeks?

1170
01:13:20.740 --> 01:13:26.440
Yeah. Okay. And then, and then he just watched Jeremy camps

1171
01:13:27.220 --> 01:13:30.980
movie. And oh, yeah, eyes remind me of yours. And it's the movie

1172
01:13:30.980 --> 01:13:34.760
I still believe. And like I watched the movie, which I love

1173
01:13:34.760 --> 01:13:38.140
faith movies anyway, but I watched the movie and it was

1174
01:13:38.140 --> 01:13:42.680
just like so crazy how there were so many like messages in it

1175
01:13:42.680 --> 01:13:48.440
that felt like felt like me and our story and as the way I've

1176
01:13:48.440 --> 01:13:51.920
experienced the Holy Spirit speaking to me about like, am I

1177
01:13:51.920 --> 01:13:56.320
so like used to, like defending myself and fighting things off

1178
01:13:56.560 --> 01:13:59.360
that I'm fighting off a good thing.

1179
01:14:02.560 --> 01:14:05.760
Okay. Yeah, there's definitely some confusion there, isn't

1180
01:14:05.760 --> 01:14:10.740
there? Coming in? Because we don't have a whole lot of time.

1181
01:14:10.740 --> 01:14:14.080
I want to I do want to respond to you. But this is going to be

1182
01:14:14.080 --> 01:14:17.260
one I am going to have you kind of sit with the Lord some more

1183
01:14:17.200 --> 01:14:21.360
with. Because I think there's a lot to kind of unpack here. A

1184
01:14:21.360 --> 01:14:26.600
few things that I want to mention when you said he's

1185
01:14:26.600 --> 01:14:31.560
honoring your boundaries. Were you clear to him that you no

1186
01:14:31.560 --> 01:14:36.360
longer were going to engage and getting to know him and that

1187
01:14:36.360 --> 01:14:40.780
you were moving forward? Like how did you? Nope, I fell off.

1188
01:14:41.560 --> 01:14:46.280
Okay, so you were so you weren't clear in your boundaries. So how

1189
01:14:46.280 --> 01:14:49.360
can we judge if he's honoring your boundaries if we're not

1190
01:14:49.360 --> 01:14:53.120
being clear in what our boundaries are? Okay, I want you

1191
01:14:53.120 --> 01:14:57.340
I just want you to process that. Okay. So I need to be clear.

1192
01:14:57.780 --> 01:14:59.380
Yeah, let's practice being clear.

1193
01:15:02.960 --> 01:15:09.280
Another thing that just came to my mind, too, when you were talking about it, and it resonated

1194
01:15:09.280 --> 01:15:19.380
with me, because what God was showing me in my dating process is, yes, there are guys

1195
01:15:19.380 --> 01:15:20.080
that are different.

1196
01:15:20.240 --> 01:15:21.860
They're not the same, right?

1197
01:15:21.860 --> 01:15:27.240
There may be familiar spirits, but it doesn't mean that they're the same, and so God would

1198
01:15:27.240 --> 01:15:36.660
show me that all these men are different, and it also was an opportunity for me to see

1199
01:15:36.980 --> 01:15:39.280
how good men did exist.

1200
01:15:39.780 --> 01:15:44.420
There are still good qualities, and ladies, don't be surprised that you're going to go

1201
01:15:44.440 --> 01:15:52.780
on dates with a couple, handful, who knows how many men, and they're all going to be

1202
01:15:52.780 --> 01:15:53.280
good guys.

1203
01:15:53.360 --> 01:15:56.980
I mean, you might go out with some that are not so great, but believe it or not, you may

1204
01:15:56.980 --> 01:16:01.480
go out with some really great men that are not your spirit mate, and it's okay.

1205
01:16:03.300 --> 01:16:05.960
We want to see a bunch of good men out there.

1206
01:16:06.100 --> 01:16:11.980
Just because that one good man isn't for us doesn't mean we have to hold onto that as

1207
01:16:12.300 --> 01:16:17.240
rejection or that there's not somebody out there for us.

1208
01:16:17.700 --> 01:16:25.220
It just means that this lie of there not being good men actually is a lie.

1209
01:16:26.220 --> 01:16:31.940
There are good men out there, so it could even possibly be that God's just revealing

1210
01:16:31.940 --> 01:16:35.900
to you that, hey, I have good men out there.

1211
01:16:36.580 --> 01:16:38.220
It's not a small pond.

1212
01:16:38.840 --> 01:16:39.580
Be open.

1213
01:16:40.120 --> 01:16:45.680
I'm bringing them to you, so if you do believe that you really did hear the Lord tell you

1214
01:16:45.680 --> 01:16:54.960
this is not Him, it doesn't mean that you can't glean something from it, okay?

1215
01:16:54.960 --> 01:16:58.420
But again, I want you to kind of sit and go with that again.

1216
01:16:58.960 --> 01:17:02.360
Go back to Him honoring boundaries.

1217
01:17:03.400 --> 01:17:08.300
What boundaries is He honoring that you've been clear with, and can He honor your boundaries

1218
01:17:08.300 --> 01:17:10.540
if you're not clear with what your boundaries are?

1219
01:17:11.200 --> 01:17:11.380
Yeah.

1220
01:17:11.820 --> 01:17:12.120
Okay?

1221
01:17:13.420 --> 01:17:13.960
All right.

1222
01:17:14.420 --> 01:17:16.060
Kim, I got you.

1223
01:17:16.260 --> 01:17:17.300
How are you?

1224
01:17:19.580 --> 01:17:23.520
Okay, so mine's real quick.

1225
01:17:23.520 --> 01:17:28.380
You had asked me to let you know after I went on my first date, so I did go on my first

1226
01:17:28.380 --> 01:17:29.260
date last Wednesday.

1227
01:17:29.980 --> 01:17:30.300
How did it go?

1228
01:17:31.480 --> 01:17:39.840
We're talking, it's been 26 years, so being on a date was a bit uncomfortable, but I'm

1229
01:17:39.840 --> 01:17:42.280
open to it and willing.

1230
01:17:45.300 --> 01:17:49.720
He was nice, but just definitely not, I don't think, a match for me.

1231
01:17:50.220 --> 01:17:56.320
The first thing he said was, well, I thought we'd just order off the appetizer menu.

1232
01:17:57.440 --> 01:18:01.020
So I'm thinking, okay, does that mean appetizer and food?

1233
01:18:01.080 --> 01:18:06.160
Because I'm not really that hungry, and I didn't say anything, but, oh, actually I did.

1234
01:18:06.200 --> 01:18:08.580
I said, do you mean appetizer and food?

1235
01:18:08.660 --> 01:18:10.120
He goes, oh, no, one or the other.

1236
01:18:10.740 --> 01:18:13.140
And I'm like, okay, whatever you'd like.

1237
01:18:13.320 --> 01:18:18.260
And so he says, well, he said, I think we should order, maybe I'll order pizza so I

1238
01:18:18.260 --> 01:18:20.560
can take the rest home.

1239
01:18:23.700 --> 01:18:27.680
It's just like, okay, okay, whatever you'd like.

1240
01:18:28.240 --> 01:18:30.940
And he was just very socially awkward.

1241
01:18:31.160 --> 01:18:36.380
I mean, he even shared that with me that he's been single, he's never been married, and

1242
01:18:37.060 --> 01:18:41.000
I'm finding, and I knew this was going to be the case, and probably you're going to

1243
01:18:41.000 --> 01:18:45.000
tell me there are some men out there, but I'm very active for my age.

1244
01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:48.560
I'm 66, but I swim five miles a week.

1245
01:18:48.600 --> 01:18:50.660
I play pickleball four to five times a week.

1246
01:18:50.700 --> 01:18:56.860
I'm very active, very young, and activity-wise, I do a lot.

1247
01:18:57.280 --> 01:19:02.740
And I'm going to find people in my age that are not, that are not that way.

1248
01:19:02.880 --> 01:19:03.840
And he came with the key.

1249
01:19:04.560 --> 01:19:10.300
It's true, but if that is part of who you are and that's how you enjoy life, aren't

1250
01:19:10.300 --> 01:19:13.040
you going to want someone that can also enjoy that life?

1251
01:19:13.040 --> 01:19:13.480
Oh, for sure.

1252
01:19:13.480 --> 01:19:16.800
So I don't want you to think that's a negative thing.

1253
01:19:17.100 --> 01:19:21.400
Again, it doesn't mean that you don't go out on first dates if someone's not active, but

1254
01:19:21.400 --> 01:19:24.580
as you, you know, again, this is dating for discovery.

1255
01:19:24.900 --> 01:19:31.580
Like one thing that I felt like when you were saying that, I was just like, I want to celebrate

1256
01:19:32.760 --> 01:19:35.400
is you used your voice.

1257
01:19:36.900 --> 01:19:44.300
And I don't know, like that comes with maturity because as you get older, you don't, you don't

1258
01:19:44.300 --> 01:19:50.800
settle for things like you used to, and you become more confident in a way that you, I

1259
01:19:50.800 --> 01:19:52.440
mean, and I get, yeah, what you're saying.

1260
01:19:52.440 --> 01:19:59.560
Like, as we get wisdom, we kind of learn like, okay, it's okay for me to communicate what

1261
01:19:59.560 --> 01:19:59.980
it is.

1262
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.740
that I need or what's not okay.

1263
01:20:02.780 --> 01:20:04.500
It's, it's communicating those boundaries.

1264
01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:09.060
Like, and you were just trying to be clear, like, all right, like

1265
01:20:09.060 --> 01:20:13.120
an appetizer and then we get a meal or just the appetizers.

1266
01:20:13.740 --> 01:20:16.480
And so you got clarification about that.

1267
01:20:17.380 --> 01:20:20.720
And then, you know, some, some things you said that would

1268
01:20:20.720 --> 01:20:22.660
have thrown me off to absolutely.

1269
01:20:23.620 --> 01:20:28.880
And so, but I like that you like, you didn't have to do in a way, like

1270
01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:33.540
what I'm hearing in your voice, it didn't sound like you were so

1271
01:20:33.540 --> 01:20:36.040
offended that you were ready to cut him off right then and there.

1272
01:20:36.940 --> 01:20:37.960
No, no.

1273
01:20:37.960 --> 01:20:44.240
And I realized that someone, and he shared with me that he has, um, I've

1274
01:20:44.240 --> 01:20:48.020
worked with, I've been a counselor and I work with disabled disabled.

1275
01:20:48.280 --> 01:20:54.060
And so he shared with me that he has OCD and obsessive compulsive.

1276
01:20:54.320 --> 01:20:57.500
I mean, he has disorder and so socially awkward.

1277
01:20:57.500 --> 01:21:01.720
And he, I, and just listening to him, he never kept a job for

1278
01:21:01.720 --> 01:21:02.880
more than three or four years.

1279
01:21:02.880 --> 01:21:04.740
He kept moving from job to job.

1280
01:21:04.740 --> 01:21:06.280
He doesn't have a permanent home.

1281
01:21:06.440 --> 01:21:11.460
I think he's renting and he he's, he has a very giving heart and he gives things

1282
01:21:11.460 --> 01:21:19.420
away, but he's just not, um, he's so, um, I can tell you that most of our

1283
01:21:20.820 --> 01:21:24.320
conversation was all about, he says, I'm just waiting for the rapture.

1284
01:21:24.760 --> 01:21:26.440
I'm just waiting for the rapture to happen.

1285
01:21:27.080 --> 01:21:31.800
And so I'd say half the conversation was about that.

1286
01:21:33.340 --> 01:21:35.160
And I'm like, I'm ready to live.

1287
01:21:35.300 --> 01:21:37.740
I mean, I guess if God is, is, is, you know,

1288
01:21:38.700 --> 01:21:40.520
kind of waiting for that.

1289
01:21:40.580 --> 01:21:44.820
Like you're supposed to live each day as though like it's your last and you're

1290
01:21:44.820 --> 01:21:50.420
like, just trying to like, go out and like, do like, we don't want to neglect

1291
01:21:50.420 --> 01:21:55.420
this beautiful life that we are given because we don't know when it's going

1292
01:21:55.420 --> 01:21:55.900
to happen.

1293
01:21:56.400 --> 01:22:01.680
So God forbid, we're just sitting there waiting for it to happen.

1294
01:22:02.260 --> 01:22:06.720
And then it doesn't happen for like another couple hundred years or so.

1295
01:22:07.040 --> 01:22:11.280
Well, we just wasted this like beautiful God.

1296
01:22:11.680 --> 01:22:11.780
Oh yeah.

1297
01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:15.800
He's like, yeah, like, yeah, he's just waiting.

1298
01:22:15.980 --> 01:22:16.620
He's just waiting.

1299
01:22:16.840 --> 01:22:21.600
And he thinks it's going to be, um, he thought today or Thursday because of the

1300
01:22:21.600 --> 01:22:25.320
feast of the trumpets and there's all these things that are lining up and yes,

1301
01:22:25.320 --> 01:22:26.460
it could be, I don't know.

1302
01:22:26.640 --> 01:22:28.660
And he, and he tells us, we won't know the day or time.

1303
01:22:28.800 --> 01:22:33.560
So he told me he was having a hip replacement at the end of the month or at

1304
01:22:33.560 --> 01:22:34.200
the end of October.

1305
01:22:34.200 --> 01:22:40.040
And I said, so if the rapture is going to happen, why are you, why did you skip

1306
01:22:40.860 --> 01:22:41.660
hip replacement?

1307
01:22:43.060 --> 01:22:46.980
And, um, so anyway, it was just a, it was a conversation.

1308
01:22:47.580 --> 01:22:51.520
I think again, this is a win for you because you got on your first date.

1309
01:22:51.880 --> 01:22:53.760
You, you put it into practice.

1310
01:22:53.760 --> 01:22:55.840
Ladies, it's a yes until it's a no.

1311
01:22:56.080 --> 01:22:59.060
And I mean, it's okay for her to say this is a no.

1312
01:23:00.100 --> 01:23:02.940
She, she saw some really good qualities in him.

1313
01:23:03.420 --> 01:23:04.860
He's, he's generous.

1314
01:23:05.060 --> 01:23:09.280
He like, didn't you say he was, um, he had a kind spirit or gentle.

1315
01:23:10.100 --> 01:23:10.360
Yeah.

1316
01:23:10.600 --> 01:23:15.300
So she's, she's recognizing some qualities and characteristics that she finds

1317
01:23:15.580 --> 01:23:16.100
admirable.

1318
01:23:16.780 --> 01:23:17.300
Right.

1319
01:23:17.300 --> 01:23:19.500
And those are things that she probably likes about him.

1320
01:23:19.500 --> 01:23:19.840
Right.

1321
01:23:19.840 --> 01:23:25.680
But she's also seeing some other things about herself that, yeah, I really desire

1322
01:23:25.680 --> 01:23:32.320
someone that's going to be active with me and someone that, you know, is going to

1323
01:23:32.320 --> 01:23:32.880
enjoy life.

1324
01:23:33.280 --> 01:23:37.680
And it's a no, because he's not doing that.

1325
01:23:37.680 --> 01:23:43.700
And it's not that he's wrong or, you know, he's just got his own walk.

1326
01:23:43.800 --> 01:23:47.760
So whatever God's like, we got to trust that God's going to work something out for

1327
01:23:47.760 --> 01:23:48.040
him.

1328
01:23:48.040 --> 01:23:48.440
Right.

1329
01:23:48.980 --> 01:23:51.900
And so it doesn't have to be your spirit mate.

1330
01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:56.000
And it doesn't mean that like, and again, it's not like you're rejecting him.

1331
01:23:56.260 --> 01:24:00.040
Like, I know sometimes we pick that up, like, and I'm not saying that you're doing

1332
01:24:00.040 --> 01:24:00.400
this, Kim.

1333
01:24:00.460 --> 01:24:05.340
I just feel Holy spirit wants me to share this with ladies, because I see this often

1334
01:24:05.340 --> 01:24:13.380
in this phase where women are afraid to say it's a no because they're don't want to

1335
01:24:13.500 --> 01:24:14.460
hurt somebody.

1336
01:24:15.880 --> 01:24:18.360
Ladies, it's okay for it to be a no.

1337
01:24:18.440 --> 01:24:25.360
We just ask you to kind of have some balance there of give it a shot, give it two or

1338
01:24:25.360 --> 01:24:26.160
three dates.

1339
01:24:26.540 --> 01:24:30.900
If it's only one day and you recognize, okay, this is a no for me.

1340
01:24:30.920 --> 01:24:34.380
And these are reasons why that's okay too.

1341
01:24:34.400 --> 01:24:34.860
Okay.

1342
01:24:34.960 --> 01:24:40.200
When we, when we ask you ladies, those questions, we're just prompting you

1343
01:24:40.200 --> 01:24:44.960
because again, we're trying to see if there's anything that the Lord wants to

1344
01:24:44.960 --> 01:24:45.580
reveal.

1345
01:24:46.360 --> 01:24:49.240
And we want to help, help you reveal that.

1346
01:24:49.380 --> 01:24:51.280
Like we want to help God reveal that to you.

1347
01:24:51.420 --> 01:24:55.140
We're here as a, as a resource for God to use.

1348
01:24:55.400 --> 01:24:59.760
If there's any area of healing that you need now, Kim, I don't.

1349
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.280
I think this is, you approach this very healthy.

1350
01:25:03.520 --> 01:25:06.040
I don't see any areas that you're blocked.

1351
01:25:07.300 --> 01:25:12.680
So I'm sensing like you're just discovery dating and we're going to celebrate that

1352
01:25:12.680 --> 01:25:15.520
you went on your first date. You're using your voice,

1353
01:25:15.660 --> 01:25:19.760
you're communicating clearly. You are, you know, again,

1354
01:25:20.200 --> 01:25:21.640
he's not your person,

1355
01:25:21.780 --> 01:25:24.540
but you didn't devalue him because he wasn't your person.

1356
01:25:25.180 --> 01:25:27.300
And that's important ladies too.

1357
01:25:27.300 --> 01:25:30.600
Cause these guys that you go on a date with, they may not be your person,

1358
01:25:30.700 --> 01:25:33.940
but they're still human. Okay.

1359
01:25:34.280 --> 01:25:38.320
We got to give grace. We do. Yes. Okay.

1360
01:25:38.480 --> 01:25:43.340
And I, the other thing is he's so he's people that have been single for as long

1361
01:25:43.340 --> 01:25:47.560
as I have. And he has, there's you, you,

1362
01:25:48.360 --> 01:25:53.000
you can pick up on that sometimes the inflexibility of someone and you get set

1363
01:25:53.000 --> 01:25:56.200
in your ways and you're, you do it this way. And this is who I am.

1364
01:25:56.840 --> 01:26:00.580
And I known that was going to be something that God's going to work out. You know,

1365
01:26:00.580 --> 01:26:05.000
I really trust him with that because I haven't dated in 26 years.

1366
01:26:05.000 --> 01:26:08.560
I've been waiting for the man that God was going to put into my life and didn't

1367
01:26:08.560 --> 01:26:12.900
think I was going to have to date around to for that to happen.

1368
01:26:13.520 --> 01:26:17.800
But I'm in this program and I'm challenged. And so I'm doing that.

1369
01:26:18.740 --> 01:26:23.000
But but you know, that's the other thing is as when you get up

1370
01:26:23.660 --> 01:26:26.780
when you're older and you've been single for a long time, you,

1371
01:26:26.780 --> 01:26:31.280
you pick that up in conversation that it's, it was, you,

1372
01:26:31.560 --> 01:26:36.020
you have to be careful not to be self-focused. Yeah. And I sent,

1373
01:26:36.200 --> 01:26:40.160
I really picked that up from him. Very nice man. But I felt like it was,

1374
01:26:40.160 --> 01:26:43.640
he was very self-focused and that's the thing is because then in marriage,

1375
01:26:43.720 --> 01:26:48.240
like you can't be self-focused, like you're like,

1376
01:26:48.240 --> 01:26:52.720
that's not marriage. You know, you're serving the, your spouse. And I mean,

1377
01:26:52.720 --> 01:26:56.280
and it's understandable if he's never, if he's never been married before,

1378
01:26:57.040 --> 01:27:01.480
you know, he's 71, 71. Yeah. He's older. Yeah.

1379
01:27:01.820 --> 01:27:05.340
So, I mean, again, I think you did wonderful.

1380
01:27:06.640 --> 01:27:10.580
You did it. You, you like, you cut the rope, right?

1381
01:27:10.580 --> 01:27:14.760
You cut that ribbon and now it's just, okay, I got that done.

1382
01:27:14.760 --> 01:27:19.620
And now you can just, you know, just keep bringing them on. Right.

1383
01:27:20.260 --> 01:27:24.060
All right. Yes. Yes. All right, ladies, Caitlin, I'm sorry. I didn't get to you.

1384
01:27:24.160 --> 01:27:28.240
Stephanie. I can't get to you either. I know we're like 15 minutes over Caitlin

1385
01:27:28.240 --> 01:27:29.800
and Stephanie. Can you please, please,

1386
01:27:30.140 --> 01:27:33.460
please post in our app and I can try to get to that.

1387
01:27:33.480 --> 01:27:37.060
At least by Thursday I should have time to really,

1388
01:27:38.020 --> 01:27:39.600
really process through a lot of y'all's posts.

1389
01:27:39.660 --> 01:27:41.300
I know I've got to catch up on some.

1390
01:27:41.820 --> 01:27:45.960
I'm not sure if Ebony's been able to tag up on some of those as well.

1391
01:27:46.340 --> 01:27:48.460
Just know we are going to get to you. Stephanie,

1392
01:27:48.460 --> 01:27:52.200
I saw you have it in the chat, but yeah, if you can,

1393
01:27:52.860 --> 01:27:54.400
are you, I don't want to close out or think,

1394
01:27:54.460 --> 01:27:57.460
are you able to copy and paste because I don't want you to lose it if you've

1395
01:27:57.460 --> 01:27:58.000
typed it.

1396
01:27:58.760 --> 01:28:00.280
I'm trying to do that right now.

1397
01:28:00.440 --> 01:28:02.240
Okay. Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll,

1398
01:28:02.240 --> 01:28:05.300
I'll keep talking for like another minute so that you can copy and paste it.

1399
01:28:05.300 --> 01:28:06.300
I got it. Thank you.

1400
01:28:06.560 --> 01:28:10.800
Okay, good. All right. And then Caitlin, same to you.

1401
01:28:11.060 --> 01:28:14.960
I know, I don't know if she's still on. I think she might've done off. Nope.

1402
01:28:14.960 --> 01:28:18.920
She's still here. Caitlin, um, go in the app, like let us know,

1403
01:28:18.920 --> 01:28:23.380
give me an update. I know we've unpacked some stuff, um, a couple of weeks ago,

1404
01:28:23.380 --> 01:28:27.220
so I want, I definitely want an update and know how you're doing. Okay.

1405
01:28:27.580 --> 01:28:31.640
All right, ladies have a blessed rest of your day, your week.

1406
01:28:31.780 --> 01:28:36.960
Don't forget to lean into the Sabbath. What is God revealing to you? Okay.

1407
01:28:36.960 --> 01:28:41.500
And then, um, get ready, get ready,

1408
01:28:41.500 --> 01:28:46.100
get yourself, you know, like just throw on some mascara, whatever, you know,

1409
01:28:46.100 --> 01:28:47.980
get out. You never know who you're going to meet. All right.

1410
01:28:47.980 --> 01:28:49.480
I'm going to practice that myself,

1411
01:28:50.020 --> 01:28:53.140
even though I'm always leaving the house super early with my kids.

1412
01:28:53.520 --> 01:28:57.260
I'm not a morning person. Y'all like, once I get up, I'm like, good,

1413
01:28:57.360 --> 01:29:01.680
but it is hard for me to get out of my bed. Um,

1414
01:29:01.680 --> 01:29:02.760
and so I typically,

1415
01:29:03.400 --> 01:29:07.240
that's one of the reasons why is because, um,

1416
01:29:07.240 --> 01:29:08.520
then I have no time to get ready.

1417
01:29:08.520 --> 01:29:11.780
So I'm going to challenge myself this week to do that.

1418
01:29:11.980 --> 01:29:14.600
So if anybody else wants to join me, um,

1419
01:29:15.120 --> 01:29:17.620
we'll cheer each other on this week. All right.

1420
01:29:17.820 --> 01:29:20.260
Have a blessed rest of your day ladies. Appreciate you all.