WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.880 a video, I made a video of us with that music in the background. 2 00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:10.460 So, um, so yeah, it was romantic. 3 00:00:10.780 --> 00:00:11.840 Yeah, definitely. 4 00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:15.020 And I'm really looking forward to seeing her around Christmas time. 5 00:00:15.020 --> 00:00:18.940 In a way, it kind of sounds like we all could be taking a clue from this 6 00:00:18.940 --> 00:00:25.760 playbook here, this, uh, this experience and new, uh, level of 7 00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:27.280 territory that you're taking here. 8 00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:30.300 So sounds encouraging. 9 00:00:31.020 --> 00:00:31.340 Yeah. 10 00:00:31.400 --> 00:00:38.140 Kudos on going and being successful and coming back and, you know, coming 11 00:00:38.140 --> 00:00:41.720 back with something that seems to be working out at the moment. 12 00:00:42.620 --> 00:00:43.660 And we're hopeful. 13 00:00:44.760 --> 00:00:48.580 We're optimistically, um, hopeful with you in that. 14 00:00:48.720 --> 00:00:49.400 So, so awesome. 15 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:50.180 Yeah. 16 00:00:50.180 --> 00:00:53.240 I've been talking to her since April, so it's been a while. 17 00:00:53.420 --> 00:00:54.980 We've been, yeah, yeah. 18 00:00:55.500 --> 00:00:59.400 There is, um, there is one thing I'm struggling with now though, that it 19 00:00:59.400 --> 00:01:02.620 doesn't really have to do with our romance per se, but it's something I 20 00:01:02.620 --> 00:01:07.540 have struggled with and it, it's kind of gotten worse since I started seeing 21 00:01:07.540 --> 00:01:13.420 her, um, is I have the, um, the bad habit of masturbation and of course, 22 00:01:13.420 --> 00:01:17.420 as a Catholic, I've, I look at it as a sin and I'm trying to overcome it, 23 00:01:17.440 --> 00:01:19.100 but I'm really struggling with it. 24 00:01:19.700 --> 00:01:24.340 Um, and I'm trying to figure out like where I can get like the best type 25 00:01:24.340 --> 00:01:26.780 of, um, advice to help me quit. 26 00:01:26.780 --> 00:01:29.500 Just like, you know, someone would quit cigarettes or something. 27 00:01:29.860 --> 00:01:30.480 Yeah. 28 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:31.080 Yeah. 29 00:01:31.080 --> 00:01:32.020 No, I understand. 30 00:01:32.160 --> 00:01:39.260 I mean, is, I mean, is there pornography involved or is it just, no pornography. 31 00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:40.520 Okay. 32 00:01:40.580 --> 00:01:41.220 Okay. 33 00:01:42.240 --> 00:01:49.380 So yeah, I mean, you know, um, that's, that's a situation where, I mean, 34 00:01:49.380 --> 00:01:57.080 it's a natural progression of maturity into, you know, into relationship. 35 00:01:57.500 --> 00:01:59.600 But, but when you're, when you're a little bit older and you've 36 00:01:59.600 --> 00:02:05.980 never been into relationship, um, you know, uh, you're commuting 37 00:02:05.980 --> 00:02:07.400 that sexual activity somewhere. 38 00:02:07.480 --> 00:02:11.660 A lot of people are trying to commute it into something else constructive. 39 00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:18.740 And, um, it's definitely very normal and natural to be, you know, sexually 40 00:02:18.740 --> 00:02:25.920 excited, sexually, um, you know, sexually promoted in some, in some way. 41 00:02:26.600 --> 00:02:32.000 Um, but at the same time, you know, you have to find other ways to let that 42 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:38.240 out and let that energy, let that exercise out, um, if, especially if 43 00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:41.560 it's something that really, you know, convicts you in that way. 44 00:02:43.640 --> 00:02:53.600 And, you know, um, so any, anybody else have any ideas on that? 45 00:02:55.600 --> 00:02:59.400 Yeah, I, I pray worship music and that really helps me. 46 00:02:59.780 --> 00:03:05.260 Um, because I find that like, for me, I I'll go like four or five days and 47 00:03:05.260 --> 00:03:07.960 then I'll just ejaculate and it's kind of awkward. 48 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:12.680 And so when I feel the need or the urge, I just start praying and, and, and if 49 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:15.460 something happens, it happens, but I know that I'm in a state of worship 50 00:03:15.460 --> 00:03:19.260 and I'm just trusting God, but for me, it's like, I mean, I'm not married. 51 00:03:19.380 --> 00:03:20.380 I'm not sexually active. 52 00:03:20.880 --> 00:03:24.620 So every four or five days I will ejaculate regardless. 53 00:03:26.720 --> 00:03:35.980 So, I mean, I think, I think to a degree guys, I think to a degree that seems to 54 00:03:35.980 --> 00:03:45.500 be a normal hormonal expression, especially if you're not in relationship 55 00:03:45.740 --> 00:03:52.180 and you don't have an outlet for that in that way, I'm not saying that is right 56 00:03:52.180 --> 00:03:57.020 or wrong, I'm saying if your conscience offends you in that area, and that's 57 00:03:57.020 --> 00:04:05.000 something that you want to get under control or get under, uh, more 58 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:09.100 understanding, I think that's definitely something that you can work 59 00:04:09.100 --> 00:04:10.800 out in relationship with the Lord. 60 00:04:11.340 --> 00:04:16.820 I think one of the greatest things that's, that's a problem with that is when 61 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:21.420 something is in your life like that, that's offending your conscience, and 62 00:04:21.420 --> 00:04:28.540 then it causes you to separate from the presence of the Lord and, and the, and 63 00:04:28.540 --> 00:04:32.080 I think the greatest thing that you can tend for is not necessarily to stop 64 00:04:32.080 --> 00:04:37.040 doing something that offends you, but to lean into something that can be a 65 00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:42.560 benefit to you and can be, and can be a greater expression of emotion. 66 00:04:43.100 --> 00:04:49.060 I mean, the reality is, is that you have hormones, you have a drive, 67 00:04:49.200 --> 00:04:52.120 you have a sexual drive, it's alive and an awakened. 68 00:04:52.780 --> 00:04:55.820 So it's completely normal to have that. 69 00:04:55.820 --> 00:04:59.980 And at the same time, um, 70 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.800 you are followers of Jesus, you are followers of your creator, 71 00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:08.080 you're followers of the presence of God in your life. 72 00:05:08.300 --> 00:05:15.040 And so working that out and leaning into that instead of feeling bad about, 73 00:05:15.960 --> 00:05:21.160 Oh, I masturbated or I had an ejaculation or there's something like, instead of 74 00:05:21.160 --> 00:05:26.980 putting that in the sort of like bad category, put it into the category of 75 00:05:26.980 --> 00:05:31.180 this is normal, but in order to, but if it offends your conscience, 76 00:05:31.460 --> 00:05:36.880 don't allow it to separate you, separate you from what God is doing in your life 77 00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:39.240 or his presence or activation in your life. 78 00:05:39.380 --> 00:05:42.360 In other words, don't live dichotomously. 79 00:05:43.760 --> 00:05:50.340 Bring that into the relationship you have with God and let Holy Spirit 80 00:05:50.980 --> 00:05:54.060 work within you to resolve that. 81 00:05:54.300 --> 00:05:55.640 Does that make sense? 82 00:05:58.300 --> 00:06:03.380 Sort of, I mean, so, I mean, there is a difference between, um, 83 00:06:03.380 --> 00:06:06.840 natural ejaculation and, uh, and masturbation. 84 00:06:06.840 --> 00:06:09.020 There's a difference between those two things. 85 00:06:09.020 --> 00:06:09.340 Sure. 86 00:06:09.340 --> 00:06:09.780 Absolutely. 87 00:06:10.020 --> 00:06:10.200 I understand. 88 00:06:10.420 --> 00:06:10.920 I know what you're talking. 89 00:06:11.660 --> 00:06:11.660 90 00:06:16.200 --> 00:06:19.540 But yeah, maybe the other guy's going to chime in on that. 91 00:06:26.400 --> 00:06:35.220 So for me, um, I understand that I love awakening, but like, I look at it as, uh, 92 00:06:39.740 --> 00:06:42.840 getting the car, keeping the car going. 93 00:06:43.100 --> 00:06:48.100 Like, like, so the last thing you want to do is, well, one of the biggest mistakes, 94 00:06:48.100 --> 00:06:55.160 I guess, maybe that's a great, um, so my first, my ex, one of my greatest regrets 95 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:57.220 is that we didn't make it to the honey. 96 00:06:57.220 --> 00:07:01.140 They make it to, um, the wedding day before we had sex. 97 00:07:01.560 --> 00:07:05.720 We played house one day and it just ended up going sideways. 98 00:07:07.080 --> 00:07:12.200 And, um, and you know, uh, I, since then, like, I was like, you know what? 99 00:07:12.200 --> 00:07:20.520 I try to keep that car in the garage and that way I only let it out in that way. 100 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:21.000 101 00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:27.140 And so keeping it constantly rolling, um, and I get it. 102 00:07:27.140 --> 00:07:29.980 I understand the cycles and all that. 103 00:07:30.140 --> 00:07:34.560 And like, all of a sudden you're wired, but at the same time, I've just learned how to, 104 00:07:36.580 --> 00:07:40.220 oh, I guess I could take my hand off of the microphone. 105 00:07:42.280 --> 00:07:50.580 So I guess what I'm saying is I, I, if you're in relationship and you're stoking that fire, 106 00:07:50.660 --> 00:07:54.580 it gives you a lot greater chance of not making it to the finish line. 107 00:07:55.020 --> 00:08:03.060 And therefore, um, I would not really recommend it well and look at it with the end game in mind. 108 00:08:03.900 --> 00:08:04.380 Right. 109 00:08:04.380 --> 00:08:06.840 And, and I, and I understand it's not an easy thing. 110 00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:13.260 And I understand all those things, but having regretted not making it to my wedding day, 111 00:08:13.280 --> 00:08:14.820 I don't want to ever experience that again. 112 00:08:15.680 --> 00:08:22.720 And it really, and stealing from the future for the moment, isn't really something that 113 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:25.580 I want to learn as a habit. 114 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:29.920 That's just my, and like I say, it's hard, you know, so. 115 00:08:33.140 --> 00:08:36.080 Yeah, no, it's definitely an issue of self-control. 116 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:37.020 For sure. 117 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:49.300 And, um, I just want to make sure that, um, it's very clear. 118 00:08:49.300 --> 00:08:51.320 Cause I think this is trouble. 119 00:08:51.520 --> 00:08:55.680 A lot of men, especially a lot of good men that have grown up in any kind of like 120 00:08:56.980 --> 00:09:02.300 Christian culture, church, whatever, to where those things, first of all, were never discussed. 121 00:09:02.300 --> 00:09:07.060 And second of all, if you didn't have a family that it was open with that kind of stuff, 122 00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:08.140 it doesn't get discussed. 123 00:09:08.500 --> 00:09:16.020 And then in a religious context, it becomes like this shameful thing, which then can break. 124 00:09:17.900 --> 00:09:22.660 Why, why is there a sense of shame put on something that God has given you? 125 00:09:22.700 --> 00:09:24.060 That is a natural drive. 126 00:09:24.700 --> 00:09:35.340 I'm not saying that it is mature to be going there all the time, because it's not. 127 00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:40.000 It's a, it's a, it's an issue of self-control and maturity to grow out. 128 00:09:55.700 --> 00:09:59.700 Yeah, no, it is kind of super serious self-control. 129 00:10:02.800 --> 00:10:04.780 I can't really hear you that well, Mike. 130 00:10:05.860 --> 00:10:08.200 Yeah, unfortunately, my phone's dying out. 131 00:10:08.680 --> 00:10:16.700 So self-control is a hard thing to master, but you're going to need it in marriage too. 132 00:10:17.240 --> 00:10:26.860 And so people, I don't know, is that a surprise, I've been married before, so it's something 133 00:10:26.860 --> 00:10:35.240 that it's better to learn it now than deal with the consequences in a relationship, right? 134 00:10:36.700 --> 00:10:44.500 It's better to, but like David was talking about so much shame about it, right? 135 00:10:44.700 --> 00:10:47.940 I mean, because it's brutal sometimes, right? 136 00:10:48.560 --> 00:10:51.400 And I don't know, it's something that doesn't get talked about. 137 00:10:51.540 --> 00:10:56.620 It's something that, and when mixed with porn, that'll destroy your future marriage, I can 138 00:10:56.620 --> 00:10:57.460 tell you that right now. 139 00:10:58.700 --> 00:11:16.160 Like porn, it steals from, my ex was gorgeous, but comparatively, I mean, she was a 10, but 140 00:11:16.400 --> 00:11:18.840 she didn't match up to what I was used to seeing. 141 00:11:19.460 --> 00:11:20.740 And so I was disappointed. 142 00:11:20.880 --> 00:11:23.020 I don't know if that makes sense, right? 143 00:11:23.020 --> 00:11:23.680 Yeah. 144 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:24.460 Yeah. 145 00:11:24.460 --> 00:11:29.520 And so therefore, everything that I'd seen before robbed from my marriage, right? 146 00:11:29.860 --> 00:11:35.240 And so, and I don't mean that in a, I'm just being real, you guys, you know, I mean, I 147 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:39.540 wish that it hadn't, I mean, I found porn when I was five years old, so it's not like 148 00:11:39.820 --> 00:11:53.000 I intentionally, you know, but like, I just want to express the pitfalls and the pain 149 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:59.660 that it's really good if you can stop because it'll make your life so much easier and so 150 00:11:59.660 --> 00:12:05.820 much better and your future relationships and you won't be comparing, I mean, I always, 151 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:09.660 you know, like this is going to sound super dumb, but I didn't know any better. 152 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:13.220 I thought like, you know, like a marriage was like a porn movie, like, you know, like, 153 00:12:13.420 --> 00:12:18.200 you know, and like, so I went into, to like, I didn't have any experience in that and it's 154 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:31.080 really not and I guess, you know, there's, I don't know if David's back or not. 155 00:12:32.160 --> 00:12:35.060 There's a cost, right? 156 00:12:36.460 --> 00:12:39.440 And I prefer to pay it on the front end than the back end. 157 00:12:39.520 --> 00:12:43.000 I paid it on the back end and it was really bad, right? 158 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:51.700 So, yeah, at least in my case, I don't have the porn, which is huge. 159 00:12:52.300 --> 00:12:54.060 That is a giant gift. 160 00:12:55.500 --> 00:12:55.500 161 00:12:55.500 --> 00:12:55.840 Right. 162 00:12:56.420 --> 00:13:06.900 And so it makes it a lot, because I've seen the consequences of it, it makes it easier 163 00:13:06.900 --> 00:13:07.240 for me. 164 00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:08.280 It makes it a non-decision. 165 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:11.080 And have I screwed up and missed the boat? 166 00:13:11.880 --> 00:13:15.800 I'm not saying I'm perfect, you guys, you know, but then, but I've got back on the wagon 167 00:13:16.140 --> 00:13:18.740 as soon as I got off, right? 168 00:13:18.900 --> 00:13:19.760 You know? 169 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:28.520 So another thing I look at about porn is it's fake, that stuff doesn't really happen and 170 00:13:28.520 --> 00:13:29.300 it lies. 171 00:13:30.040 --> 00:13:31.200 No, that's what I say. 172 00:13:31.380 --> 00:13:32.060 Yeah, exactly. 173 00:13:32.100 --> 00:13:32.620 Yeah. 174 00:13:32.620 --> 00:13:39.140 And it steals, it steals from, like I said, my ex was absolutely gorgeous and well built, 175 00:13:39.220 --> 00:13:39.600 right? 176 00:13:39.600 --> 00:13:45.300 But she wasn't what I, you know, and, you know, and I put her through hell, you guys, 177 00:13:45.780 --> 00:13:49.120 because of all the stuff with the porn, right? 178 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:57.940 And I did things that, you know, that demeaned her. 179 00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:03.840 I didn't, you know, and those are, I get to talk about all my regrets today. 180 00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:06.300 This is amazing, you know? 181 00:14:06.300 --> 00:14:13.380 And the reason why I do, you guys, is because I don't want you to ever treat your future 182 00:14:13.380 --> 00:14:17.540 spouse like a prostitute, because that's what porn does, right? 183 00:14:17.540 --> 00:14:23.220 And one day, you know, and it wasn't, I didn't intentionally, but, you know, it just, there's 184 00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:24.840 a high cost to that. 185 00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:30.740 And it's crap, you know, and if you get help, right, you know, I mean, because, and don't 186 00:14:30.740 --> 00:14:33.640 let it destroy the beautiful things that God has for you, right? 187 00:14:34.160 --> 00:14:42.740 And so, yeah, I guess, you know, I hope you don't experience the regrets that I did. 188 00:14:45.820 --> 00:14:53.260 I mean, as you can tell, it still affects me, you know, and seeing the look on your 189 00:14:53.260 --> 00:14:59.980 wife's face when she realizes you've been watching porn, and then she asks, why? 190 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.420 Am I not beautiful enough for you? 191 00:15:02.980 --> 00:15:06.200 And you can't really, there's no answer to that question 192 00:15:06.560 --> 00:15:09.840 because you've already answered it for her, right? 193 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:12.680 And they don't understand the drive 194 00:15:12.680 --> 00:15:17.720 and that it's more than a fricking crack cocaine, right? 195 00:15:18.420 --> 00:15:25.940 And so I had no idea we were gonna be discussing this today 196 00:15:25.940 --> 00:15:27.100 and I was just gonna chill, 197 00:15:27.340 --> 00:15:29.540 but I guess the Lord wanted this out 198 00:15:29.540 --> 00:15:33.120 and so you guys, I can tell you, 199 00:15:33.180 --> 00:15:34.540 I can still see the look on her face 200 00:15:34.540 --> 00:15:39.740 and it's been 20 plus years and it still haunts me. 201 00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:44.020 And I just, like I say, if you can, 202 00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:46.200 just do everything you can to get off that shit 203 00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:49.020 because that's all it is, right? 204 00:15:51.160 --> 00:15:54.700 And the other thing is, is I can actually deal with women now 205 00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:59.760 without objectifying them and that is priceless, right? 206 00:16:00.540 --> 00:16:04.280 When you're watching porn, I mean, somewhere inside of you, 207 00:16:04.280 --> 00:16:06.300 there's something thinking about sleeping with every woman 208 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:09.260 or whatever, like, I don't know what it is. 209 00:16:09.300 --> 00:16:11.440 It's like, you're in that mode where you're hungry 210 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:12.540 and wanting to conquer. 211 00:16:14.340 --> 00:16:17.400 And that's not good for developing a relationship either. 212 00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:21.360 So, I don't know. 213 00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:24.540 I guess one thing that I struggle with is that, 214 00:16:27.260 --> 00:16:29.940 although it's a good thing that I'm not 215 00:16:30.220 --> 00:16:34.580 with the porn aspect, I feel like a lot of the advice 216 00:16:34.860 --> 00:16:38.340 is tailored to people is for getting off of porn. 217 00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:42.380 And I kind of feel like that is irrelevant to my situation. 218 00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:48.100 Yeah, well, both are still addicting. 219 00:16:49.080 --> 00:16:49.560 Yeah. 220 00:16:49.560 --> 00:16:51.600 And porn's more addicting with masturbation, 221 00:16:51.740 --> 00:16:52.760 but whatever. 222 00:16:53.260 --> 00:16:55.560 You're still fulfilling it. 223 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:03.640 And the shame part of it, you guys, 224 00:17:03.720 --> 00:17:08.099 there is no shame for those who aren't Christ Jesus, right? 225 00:17:11.980 --> 00:17:13.560 There's that book, Every Man's Battle. 226 00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:15.200 The reason why it's called Every Man's Battle 227 00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:18.560 because it's every man's battle, right? 228 00:17:18.560 --> 00:17:19.800 So, you're not alone. 229 00:17:21.260 --> 00:17:23.680 The key about it is, and Andy, 230 00:17:23.760 --> 00:17:26.140 I just really love that you're up front 231 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:28.460 because that's the key to freedom. 232 00:17:29.580 --> 00:17:31.940 It's like being, hey, dude, I'm getting my butt kicked. 233 00:17:34.260 --> 00:17:35.940 And I'm not proud of it. 234 00:17:36.320 --> 00:17:37.400 What I shared today, 235 00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:38.980 I don't think I've shared it with hardly anybody. 236 00:17:39.500 --> 00:17:41.320 Oh, I had this problem too. 237 00:17:41.580 --> 00:17:43.640 And I've been going to ministry after ministry 238 00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:46.340 after ministry knowing that it's the wrong thing to do. 239 00:17:46.340 --> 00:17:48.880 And I went to college in my early 20s 240 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:50.700 knowing that it costs marriage 241 00:17:50.700 --> 00:17:53.060 and I can't believe society is. 242 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:54.780 No, but here's the thing, you guys. 243 00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:56.900 You can't shame yourself to change. 244 00:17:59.100 --> 00:18:01.400 If you're just gonna try to bootstrap it 245 00:18:01.400 --> 00:18:04.660 and beat yourself up and that, 246 00:18:04.940 --> 00:18:06.700 I can tell you I've done that. 247 00:18:07.460 --> 00:18:10.100 It just ends up, then you fall off the wagon even harder. 248 00:18:11.780 --> 00:18:13.000 Can you guys hear me? 249 00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:14.120 Yeah, yeah. 250 00:18:14.120 --> 00:18:15.940 I was able to kind of come back on. 251 00:18:15.940 --> 00:18:17.420 Sorry, I was just in a car 252 00:18:17.420 --> 00:18:21.320 and I'm in Stu's cell areas and everything. 253 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.760 Yeah, I think that's probably the biggest truth 254 00:18:28.140 --> 00:18:33.800 is going back, just let me just kind of peel back, 255 00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:36.900 go back further in this issue. 256 00:18:37.640 --> 00:18:44.520 The idea of objectifying and dominating women 257 00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:46.580 is part of the curse, guys. 258 00:18:47.740 --> 00:18:49.040 This isn't anything new. 259 00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:51.060 This isn't anything. 260 00:18:51.300 --> 00:18:59.080 If there's easier ways to basically feed that, 261 00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:05.680 feed that drive, feed that curse part of you 262 00:19:05.840 --> 00:19:11.120 because of the accessibility of pornography, for instance. 263 00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:12.920 But it's nothing new. 264 00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:14.160 It's part of the curse. 265 00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:16.340 Part of the curse was is that, 266 00:19:16.860 --> 00:19:19.140 men you'll want to dominate the woman. 267 00:19:20.680 --> 00:19:25.100 So this is just a modern day expression of that. 268 00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:28.960 Now I'm not saying that in order to diminish it 269 00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:32.900 because that's like Mike saying, it's a destroyer. 270 00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:37.580 This is simply, I guess the best thing to do in my opinion 271 00:19:37.980 --> 00:19:43.380 is to contend against the shame that it brings 272 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:46.980 because the shame is a divisive thing 273 00:19:46.980 --> 00:19:48.840 because it's trying to separate you 274 00:19:49.760 --> 00:19:53.100 from the relationship that you have with the Lord. 275 00:19:53.560 --> 00:19:55.680 It's trying to get you in a cycle to be like, 276 00:19:55.820 --> 00:19:57.140 oh, I feel really great about myself 277 00:19:57.140 --> 00:19:58.920 because I haven't masturbated in five days 278 00:19:58.920 --> 00:19:59.980 and all of a sudden now I've done it. 279 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.360 on it. And now I'm back into it. And it offends my conscience. So therefore, whatever, whatever, 280 00:20:07.340 --> 00:20:12.040 regardless of, regardless of the source, I do believe there's a difference. I think Andy 281 00:20:12.040 --> 00:20:17.420 pointed this out. And I think it's very important. I think there are times where it's literally just 282 00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:25.800 a physical release. It's like, I'm so stressed. I'm so this, this basically why having sexual 283 00:20:25.800 --> 00:20:33.260 connection in marriage is so important. One of the things is obviously procreation. But the other 284 00:20:33.260 --> 00:20:40.040 part of it is just the intimacy, the sort of like the, the let go the release, the relief in 285 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:47.800 relationship that your wife provides for you and you for her through that action, through that 286 00:20:48.010 --> 00:20:57.350 physical connection, it's, it's, it's just as much a, a, a method of peace, a method of relaxation, 287 00:20:57.710 --> 00:21:03.710 a method of just like, almost like crying is almost like weeping is, you know, and it's a 288 00:21:03.710 --> 00:21:09.350 beautiful connection between the man and the woman who are committed in marriage in a covenant way. 289 00:21:10.890 --> 00:21:19.270 Right. And so this is why that's sacred. This is why. So as opposed to, and again, my perfect 290 00:21:19.270 --> 00:21:23.110 example, it's just like, if you're going to try to like white knuckle this and try to overcome 291 00:21:23.110 --> 00:21:28.930 something just because it's quote wrong. I think the better thing is to do is to find out 292 00:21:29.270 --> 00:21:36.070 number one, what is the meaning of this connection? What is the, what is the understanding, the power 293 00:21:36.070 --> 00:21:45.270 of your sexuality? And one of the greatest things you can do is sit in a moment of that 294 00:21:46.450 --> 00:21:54.070 situation where you have just expended your sexuality and you are sitting there with the Lord. 295 00:21:54.910 --> 00:22:02.870 Now that sounds weird to a lot of people. That sounds weird. Like, oh, I shouldn't be doing this. 296 00:22:02.870 --> 00:22:10.870 And so therefore I have to hide this in order to like protect myself from what I feel God is 297 00:22:11.850 --> 00:22:19.170 seeing in me or looking at me. Right. Andy, you put it in the context of sin. 298 00:22:20.650 --> 00:22:25.090 Yeah. Well, I guess what I was, what I was saying, the differences between it is like, 299 00:22:25.090 --> 00:22:28.030 if it's like you're asleep and it happens like while you're asleep. 300 00:22:28.070 --> 00:22:31.050 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get, I get what you're saying. No, no, I understand what you're saying, 301 00:22:31.050 --> 00:22:37.470 but you put it in the context of sin and I get it. Is it sin? Well, yeah. I mean, 302 00:22:37.490 --> 00:22:46.010 if it avenged your conscience, it's sinful. The Bible says he that knows to do something or not 303 00:22:46.010 --> 00:23:00.470 to do something and you do it anyway to him, it's sin. Okay. So it's not about, but the, but the, 304 00:23:00.470 --> 00:23:09.670 about sin is not to focus on the sin and to focus on the stop doing the sin or doing something that 305 00:23:09.670 --> 00:23:17.450 you're supposed to do. The focus is understanding what is my connection with the Lord and 306 00:23:17.450 --> 00:23:30.450 understanding why do I behave this way? Why do I have this drive? What's it for? What's it really 307 00:23:31.170 --> 00:23:35.670 for? So when you have a relationship, a physical relationship with a companion to where that, 308 00:23:36.170 --> 00:23:40.810 that sexual activity is supposed to be happening, it is super challenging. 309 00:23:42.870 --> 00:23:49.490 I'm just, I'm just saying, I agree with you because I'm thinking in the back of your mind, 310 00:23:49.490 --> 00:23:54.370 you're like, well, I'm not married. So what am I supposed to do? I get it. Yeah. It's super 311 00:23:54.270 --> 00:23:59.510 challenging. This is why you are working out this area in your life. There's some things 312 00:24:00.230 --> 00:24:05.850 like the Bible is beautiful in a way that it's like something's like, don't kill people, 313 00:24:06.810 --> 00:24:11.990 honor your mother and your father. Don't steal things. Those are very obvious and direct, 314 00:24:12.270 --> 00:24:20.630 like specific things. It's very obvious. But in the other areas of life, especially in sexuality, 315 00:24:21.290 --> 00:24:29.490 if I was like, oh, it doesn't really say do this, don't do that. I mean, you can make a bunch of 316 00:24:29.490 --> 00:24:36.550 rules. It's about relationship. So the question becomes, it's like, where are you at with your 317 00:24:36.550 --> 00:24:40.210 journey with the Lord? And you're like, well, what does my journey with the Lord have to do with me 318 00:24:40.210 --> 00:24:47.130 jacking off? It has everything to do with that. That's what I'm trying to say on this call. 319 00:24:47.390 --> 00:24:56.010 As this topic has come up, it has everything to do with it. And if you don't allow Holy Spirit 320 00:24:56.010 --> 00:24:59.790 to manifest in the very moment where you feel 321 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.080 the most worthless because of like, 322 00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:04.900 oh, I shouldn't have, or this and that, or whatever. 323 00:25:05.080 --> 00:25:05.740 I feel bad about this. 324 00:25:05.820 --> 00:25:07.240 My conscience has offended me. 325 00:25:07.520 --> 00:25:09.020 My actions have offended me. 326 00:25:11.420 --> 00:25:13.520 Then we're kind of missing the point. 327 00:25:15.500 --> 00:25:17.560 This is the opportunity. 328 00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:24.680 This is the time to invite God into your moment and go, 329 00:25:25.020 --> 00:25:28.740 Lord, I'm sitting here having done what I've done. 330 00:25:29.360 --> 00:25:31.640 I need you to show me the truth about this. 331 00:25:31.780 --> 00:25:33.620 I need you to give me understanding. 332 00:25:34.520 --> 00:25:37.740 I need you to not just heal my heart 333 00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:41.280 and help me to do better. 334 00:25:41.460 --> 00:25:42.260 It's not about that. 335 00:25:42.380 --> 00:25:46.000 It's about like, where's the real power in this? 336 00:25:46.560 --> 00:25:48.320 When you become inquisitive 337 00:25:48.320 --> 00:25:50.460 and you become curious like that, 338 00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:54.800 that is where you're going to be able to start understanding 339 00:25:55.400 --> 00:25:58.680 and overcoming things because lots of times 340 00:25:58.680 --> 00:26:00.820 what happens with things that are taboo, 341 00:26:02.600 --> 00:26:05.020 when you start understanding those things 342 00:26:05.020 --> 00:26:06.240 for what they really are, 343 00:26:07.020 --> 00:26:11.420 the allure to them becomes a lot less. 344 00:26:12.520 --> 00:26:15.800 When you understand that pornography is an expression 345 00:26:15.800 --> 00:26:17.660 of not just objectifying women, 346 00:26:17.780 --> 00:26:22.260 but literally the abuse and the enslavement of women 347 00:26:23.260 --> 00:26:25.660 for the purposes of men to have their satisfaction, 348 00:26:25.880 --> 00:26:26.340 primarily. 349 00:26:26.600 --> 00:26:28.820 I know that women look at pornography too, 350 00:26:29.320 --> 00:26:30.540 but let's just face it. 351 00:26:30.540 --> 00:26:34.020 Most of pornography is basically a male-dominated situation 352 00:26:35.020 --> 00:26:36.840 that has been made available by technology 353 00:26:37.660 --> 00:26:40.260 and is literally involving the enslavement of women 354 00:26:40.260 --> 00:26:42.420 who are actually on those videos. 355 00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:47.900 And it's disgusting and it's a terrible situation. 356 00:26:48.560 --> 00:26:50.700 It's not just, oh, those women want to be there. 357 00:26:50.700 --> 00:26:51.420 No, they don't. 358 00:26:52.300 --> 00:26:53.340 No, they don't. 359 00:26:54.800 --> 00:26:55.480 They have been deceived. 360 00:26:55.680 --> 00:26:56.520 They have been lied to. 361 00:26:57.580 --> 00:27:00.260 They have been given over to their own proclivities 362 00:27:00.940 --> 00:27:02.780 for the sake of their own benefit. 363 00:27:02.860 --> 00:27:04.360 And it's just an ungodly situation. 364 00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:05.540 We all know it. 365 00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:08.060 Let's call it out for what it is. 366 00:27:08.580 --> 00:27:10.980 Well, another thing, pardon me, David. 367 00:27:12.100 --> 00:27:12.100 368 00:27:12.620 --> 00:27:14.040 Another thing you know about, 369 00:27:14.360 --> 00:27:16.280 one thing you can know about pornography is 370 00:27:16.300 --> 00:27:19.320 some of these videos are five to 12 years old. 371 00:27:19.320 --> 00:27:22.800 And some of those women were exploited. 372 00:27:23.120 --> 00:27:25.740 Some got out of it and are moving on and healing. 373 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:27.120 Sure, sure, sure. 374 00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:30.640 So if women are doing that and they're healing 375 00:27:30.640 --> 00:27:33.600 and they talk about their bad experiences, 376 00:27:34.140 --> 00:27:35.700 maybe we should too. 377 00:27:37.020 --> 00:27:38.560 Absolutely, what a beautiful brilliance. 378 00:27:39.220 --> 00:27:40.340 What a beautiful insight. 379 00:27:41.320 --> 00:27:43.460 You're like, hey, bro, like- 380 00:27:43.460 --> 00:27:44.800 How long has this been on? 381 00:27:46.820 --> 00:27:51.260 I love that because that's the inquisitive part of this, 382 00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:54.400 guys, instead of like, oh, porn's bad. 383 00:27:54.460 --> 00:27:55.900 I mean, it is, right? 384 00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:57.100 Porn's bad. 385 00:27:57.260 --> 00:27:57.780 It's destructive. 386 00:27:57.920 --> 00:27:58.600 It really is. 387 00:27:58.720 --> 00:27:59.540 We're saying that. 388 00:28:00.080 --> 00:28:04.800 But beyond that truth, in order to have this, 389 00:28:05.120 --> 00:28:07.100 this is where meekness comes into control. 390 00:28:08.100 --> 00:28:10.140 You have power. 391 00:28:11.060 --> 00:28:14.080 The masculine has power. 392 00:28:15.040 --> 00:28:17.600 You have a tremendous amount of power. 393 00:28:18.600 --> 00:28:23.580 You have a tremendous amount of say-so, 394 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:28.720 authority that is not being used in your life 395 00:28:30.980 --> 00:28:34.580 because of whatever, because of deception, 396 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:40.740 because of unworthiness, because of culture telling you 397 00:28:40.740 --> 00:28:43.380 that men should sit down, all that. 398 00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:50.140 Here's a perfect example of where the divine masculine 399 00:28:51.120 --> 00:28:54.400 can step in and do the right thing. 400 00:28:55.500 --> 00:28:58.600 And this is why, and so you cannot, 401 00:28:59.480 --> 00:29:01.040 in a moment of weakness, 402 00:29:02.320 --> 00:29:04.120 you cannot, on a moment of weakness, 403 00:29:05.380 --> 00:29:10.700 start to put yourself down in the situation. 404 00:29:11.580 --> 00:29:15.360 The better action is to invite Holy Spirit 405 00:29:15.360 --> 00:29:21.060 into your moment and begin to nurture and train you 406 00:29:21.060 --> 00:29:23.180 in the power that you have 407 00:29:23.540 --> 00:29:26.460 and take up the power that you have, 408 00:29:29.040 --> 00:29:31.040 progress in the fruit of the spirit 409 00:29:31.040 --> 00:29:33.200 of self-control and temperance, 410 00:29:34.260 --> 00:29:37.780 and find and lead yourself that again, 411 00:29:38.300 --> 00:29:45.220 the sexual drive is supposed to promote you 412 00:29:45.720 --> 00:29:47.920 towards the kind of relationship 413 00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:52.160 that God has designed for you, 414 00:29:52.160 --> 00:29:54.120 that marriage relationship with you. 415 00:29:54.200 --> 00:29:57.060 I know that seems like a big ask. 416 00:29:57.440 --> 00:29:59.980 I know that seems like a huge, like, 417 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.740 Yeah, that's a long road. 418 00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:05.180 Well, it may be. 419 00:30:06.360 --> 00:30:07.080 It may be. 420 00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:09.700 But it's a journey, 421 00:30:10.740 --> 00:30:12.600 and it's a journey worth taking, 422 00:30:13.280 --> 00:30:15.960 and it's a journey worth endeavoring. 423 00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:18.980 But if you're going to continue, 424 00:30:19.060 --> 00:30:21.000 and you can do this with other things in your life too, 425 00:30:21.040 --> 00:30:23.540 that are not just standing up 426 00:30:23.540 --> 00:30:27.480 to the righteousness of who you are, right? 427 00:30:28.120 --> 00:30:29.140 You can do this with other things. 428 00:30:30.180 --> 00:30:32.800 But if you're going to continue to just be overwhelmed 429 00:30:33.060 --> 00:30:37.400 by the badness of, look what I did, look what I did, 430 00:30:37.420 --> 00:30:40.800 and you're going to always continue to internalize it on you, 431 00:30:41.540 --> 00:30:42.960 then we're missing the point. 432 00:30:43.500 --> 00:30:45.180 And that's not a judgment. 433 00:30:45.300 --> 00:30:46.280 That's not a shame thing. 434 00:30:46.820 --> 00:30:53.600 That's just a way to tell you that that is not helpful. 435 00:30:53.900 --> 00:30:55.180 It's not helpful to you. 436 00:30:55.180 --> 00:30:56.700 It's not helpful to humanity. 437 00:30:57.300 --> 00:30:58.520 It's not helpful to women. 438 00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:01.900 It's not helpful to your future spirit mate. 439 00:31:03.500 --> 00:31:08.340 What's helpful for you as a man of God who struggles, 440 00:31:09.040 --> 00:31:10.860 and I'm not talking to you, Andy. 441 00:31:10.900 --> 00:31:12.360 I'm talking to everybody on this call. 442 00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:14.760 I'm talking to myself, guys. 443 00:31:15.540 --> 00:31:16.960 And Mike said it true. 444 00:31:17.180 --> 00:31:18.620 That said, just because you get married 445 00:31:18.620 --> 00:31:19.980 doesn't mean this thing goes away. 446 00:31:20.800 --> 00:31:21.880 That's so true. 447 00:31:27.140 --> 00:31:31.860 So instead of trying to go, oh, woe is me. 448 00:31:32.860 --> 00:31:34.280 How can I stop doing this? 449 00:31:34.900 --> 00:31:39.320 The greater thing is for you to invite Holy Spirit 450 00:31:39.320 --> 00:31:44.080 into your moment, even the darkest moments of your life, 451 00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:47.320 and go, you know, this just happened. 452 00:31:48.100 --> 00:31:50.960 And I need to know more about this. 453 00:31:51.380 --> 00:31:51.860 I need to know more about this. 454 00:31:51.860 --> 00:31:51.860 455 00:31:51.860 --> 00:31:56.060 I need you to show me, Lord, where the power is in this 456 00:31:56.060 --> 00:31:59.440 and where I'm missing using the right power, 457 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:05.720 where I could have escaped, because he makes a way of escape, 458 00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:10.820 where I could have been better at exerting, 459 00:32:11.600 --> 00:32:16.080 not my power to overcome, but my power in having 460 00:32:16.080 --> 00:32:20.340 a heart of righteousness to where the thing in me that 461 00:32:20.340 --> 00:32:24.200 drives me, that's my flesh, comes 462 00:32:24.660 --> 00:32:27.760 under a spirit of temperance and self-control, 463 00:32:28.380 --> 00:32:32.220 to where it's like, oh, that's not as much of an issue 464 00:32:32.220 --> 00:32:32.660 anymore. 465 00:32:35.360 --> 00:32:38.040 Is this making sense to anyone? 466 00:32:44.320 --> 00:32:45.420 You guys still there? 467 00:32:45.420 --> 00:32:48.200 Yeah, you know, David, you hit it. 468 00:32:49.040 --> 00:32:53.800 Like, for me, it sounds so weird, so counterintuitive. 469 00:32:54.140 --> 00:32:57.920 But really, it is to bring God into it. 470 00:32:57.940 --> 00:33:01.200 And I mean, I've shared this before, 471 00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:06.380 but I ended up falling to last. 472 00:33:07.020 --> 00:33:11.520 And I was sitting there, and I was so mad at myself, right? 473 00:33:11.520 --> 00:33:14.740 And I felt the Lord crying. 474 00:33:15.700 --> 00:33:17.240 He's like, I don't really care what you did. 475 00:33:17.320 --> 00:33:18.900 I just care now that we're broken, 476 00:33:19.460 --> 00:33:20.820 or our relationship's broken. 477 00:33:21.080 --> 00:33:22.240 And I just want you back. 478 00:33:23.280 --> 00:33:25.520 And that was a revelation for me. 479 00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:28.200 It's like, you know, he said, hey, guys, guess what? 480 00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:31.920 If you don't think he doesn't see you, he sees you. 481 00:33:32.380 --> 00:33:32.760 Of course. 482 00:33:33.660 --> 00:33:35.660 I don't know why we have that stupid thing, 483 00:33:35.840 --> 00:33:37.820 but God's not watching, but he is. 484 00:33:39.080 --> 00:33:40.480 But it was like, oh. 485 00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:42.700 And he just loved me. 486 00:33:43.140 --> 00:33:45.440 And you guys have heard me say this a lot, 487 00:33:47.120 --> 00:33:49.900 but if you have the neural pathway of falling, 488 00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:51.580 you need to get a new neural pathway. 489 00:33:52.280 --> 00:33:53.980 And even if you fall off the wagon, 490 00:33:54.060 --> 00:33:56.060 the key is not staying off the wagon. 491 00:33:56.120 --> 00:33:57.900 It's getting back on the new one, right? 492 00:33:58.120 --> 00:33:59.000 Yeah, yeah. 493 00:33:59.000 --> 00:33:59.600 Get back on. 494 00:33:59.660 --> 00:34:00.180 Get back on. 495 00:34:00.260 --> 00:34:02.640 And the more you get back on that wagon, 496 00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:05.460 even if you get knocked off 100 times a day, 497 00:34:05.500 --> 00:34:07.460 you get back on 101, right? 498 00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:08.239 Yeah, yeah. 499 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:11.300 And then one day you'll look back and you're like, 500 00:34:11.320 --> 00:34:13.000 oh, wait, where'd that road go? 501 00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:14.000 It's gone. 502 00:34:14.560 --> 00:34:15.280 Exactly, exactly. 503 00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:16.940 And that is my experience, you guys. 504 00:34:17.120 --> 00:34:19.480 I spent so many years in men's things, 505 00:34:19.639 --> 00:34:22.040 and it was like sin management. 506 00:34:22.620 --> 00:34:24.420 Like, I don't know how I can manage this. 507 00:34:24.780 --> 00:34:25.100 You can't. 508 00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:26.179 Yeah, you can't. 509 00:34:26.440 --> 00:34:27.420 No, you can't do it. 510 00:34:27.520 --> 00:34:29.580 Yeah, you can't do it in your own strength, for sure. 511 00:34:29.600 --> 00:34:31.219 I mean, it's not about doing it in. 512 00:34:31.260 --> 00:34:32.400 It's not about like, oh, I'm going 513 00:34:32.400 --> 00:34:35.040 to get on this saddle again by my own strength. 514 00:34:35.060 --> 00:34:35.440 No. 515 00:34:36.080 --> 00:34:43.060 You're just surrendering to the truth and the spirit of God 516 00:34:43.060 --> 00:34:45.920 that's trying to be living on the inside of you. 517 00:34:46.060 --> 00:34:47.400 And loving yourself well. 518 00:34:47.659 --> 00:34:49.000 Yeah, loving yourself well. 519 00:34:49.340 --> 00:34:51.360 Like, you're not loving yourself well 520 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:52.120 if you're watching porn. 521 00:34:52.540 --> 00:34:52.880 I'm sorry, you guys. 522 00:34:54.340 --> 00:34:55.120 It's true. 523 00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:56.040 Yeah. 524 00:34:57.320 --> 00:34:59.420 And this, guys, this can be with anything. 525 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.580 This could be with finances. This could be with your 526 00:35:04.220 --> 00:35:09.480 Your your purpose your ambitious purpose in your life. Like what are you supposed to be doing with your life? 527 00:35:09.860 --> 00:35:13.680 This could be with relationships. This could be with your family 528 00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:20.440 It's like any area where you feel less than and trust me. I have a lot of areas where I feel less than 529 00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:25.900 Any area that you feel less than it's a constant invitation 530 00:35:26.500 --> 00:35:30.460 For you to just step in to the presence of God and 531 00:35:31.960 --> 00:35:39.160 And receive the invitation that Holy Spirit is asking of you in that moment in the dark moment 532 00:35:39.820 --> 00:35:41.180 to say Lord 533 00:35:42.300 --> 00:35:44.440 Help help me 534 00:35:45.340 --> 00:35:50.240 One of the greatest prayers you can pray is Lord help help my unbelief 535 00:35:50.980 --> 00:35:53.220 Obviously, I'm not I'm not seeing 536 00:35:53.980 --> 00:35:55.280 What I should be seeing 537 00:35:56.040 --> 00:35:59.020 So I need some I need some understanding here. I need some truth 538 00:36:00.120 --> 00:36:04.020 Because your behavior only follows the actions 539 00:36:05.060 --> 00:36:10.860 your actions only follow, you know, what you're seeing and what you're knowing and what you're understanding and 540 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:15.780 You can control what comes into your physical eye 541 00:36:16.200 --> 00:36:18.720 Like I just want to turn that off. That's not good for me 542 00:36:19.220 --> 00:36:23.400 But at the same time it's just like once you've had a what you've had a vision and 543 00:36:24.360 --> 00:36:25.340 Then you have a thought 544 00:36:26.060 --> 00:36:29.180 The sin doesn't happen until you like what are you gonna do with that thought? 545 00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:32.240 What are you gonna do with that? 546 00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:32.840 visual 547 00:36:34.120 --> 00:36:41.480 Are you gonna you gonna surrender that you're gonna flush that you're gonna surrender that are you gonna act upon that? 548 00:36:44.460 --> 00:36:44.900 You 549 00:36:44.900 --> 00:36:48.880 Know and there's a very there's a very there's a very important moment in that 550 00:36:50.060 --> 00:36:54.200 And it's not just and again, it's not straddling the line. It's not trying to lie 551 00:36:54.200 --> 00:36:56.280 I'm gonna go right up to the line as far as I can go 552 00:36:56.780 --> 00:37:01.800 And if the longer I don't cross that line, I'm good. No, it's not about that. That's a terrible way to live a 553 00:37:03.940 --> 00:37:11.460 Better place to live is like seeing the line on the road that can be crossed like who can't cross a painted line on a 554 00:37:11.460 --> 00:37:12.140 traffic laws 555 00:37:12.620 --> 00:37:15.960 To see a painted line on the road doesn't physically stop you 556 00:37:16.720 --> 00:37:23.180 You just understand that when you cross that line and you break the break the rules of traffic 557 00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:29.180 You're putting yourself and other people in danger because other people are trying to abide by the laws of traffic as well 558 00:37:32.100 --> 00:37:39.420 But understanding that value of the relationship of you and other drivers on the road and you and other people in life 559 00:37:39.420 --> 00:37:41.180 so to speak and 560 00:37:41.180 --> 00:37:45.500 your relationship with God and what's what's righteous and what's good and 561 00:37:47.140 --> 00:37:49.540 You are allowing yourself to be 562 00:37:51.860 --> 00:37:54.700 Bordered by the love of God in your life 563 00:37:56.100 --> 00:37:58.300 rather than just your 564 00:37:58.820 --> 00:38:00.140 fleshly desires 565 00:38:01.300 --> 00:38:05.980 You can have lust for money just as much as you can have lust for a picture of a woman 566 00:38:08.100 --> 00:38:10.600 When you allow God to 567 00:38:10.600 --> 00:38:13.920 Help you give the borders of love in your life 568 00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:18.360 Then you're a powerful man 569 00:38:19.080 --> 00:38:21.460 Then you're an attractive man 570 00:38:21.680 --> 00:38:27.240 Then you are a man who is set a forward with purpose 571 00:38:27.680 --> 00:38:29.720 then you were a man and 572 00:38:31.640 --> 00:38:32.660 Again this is a journey 573 00:38:34.060 --> 00:38:37.340 It's a journey down a road and sometimes you're running down the road 574 00:38:37.640 --> 00:38:39.480 Sometimes you're walking down the road 575 00:38:40.100 --> 00:38:47.480 Sometimes you stop on the road and you're like looking around. You might even wander off the road, but you you wander back on the road 576 00:38:48.080 --> 00:38:48.600 and 577 00:38:49.260 --> 00:38:52.960 So it's not about the pace. It's about the direction. You're going down that road and 578 00:38:54.120 --> 00:38:59.400 And progress is you moving forward. I 579 00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:01.920 Hope that makes sense. I 580 00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:02.980 Hope that brings freedom 581 00:39:03.380 --> 00:39:09.440 To you to go look I'm unsatisfied or I'm unhappy with certain areas of my life 582 00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:13.180 I even feel bad about certain areas in my life and certain things 583 00:39:13.280 --> 00:39:17.460 I mean, it's good that this topic came up because again, it's it's a very taboo topic 584 00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:20.660 But it's just like every other topic in our life 585 00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:29.280 The things that in the areas that you feel insignificant in unworthy that you feel unfulfilled that you feel like less than 586 00:39:29.700 --> 00:39:31.500 These are the areas to surrender 587 00:39:32.240 --> 00:39:37.600 And go Lord. I need help with this. I need understanding in this. I mean, I need to know how I'm missing this 588 00:39:39.160 --> 00:39:42.820 Because I need to understand where's the power in this moment 589 00:39:44.680 --> 00:39:51.020 You know, you've ever heard of this there's there's power and putting the fork down if you're ever trying to diet and lose weight 590 00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:58.020 There's a power in going. You know what? I'm not gonna take the bite. I'm just gonna put the fork down 591 00:39:59.420 --> 00:39:59.980 I'm just 592 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.880 going to turn the computer off. I'm going to limit my scrolling. I'm going to delete 593 00:40:08.880 --> 00:40:16.620 the app if I have to. I'm going to go another way down another road so that I don't have 594 00:40:16.620 --> 00:40:27.420 to go by a place that's a temptation for me. There's a power in taking a simple action 595 00:40:27.420 --> 00:40:37.600 and that can bring a flood of righteous power to you that can be uplifting and going, okay, 596 00:40:39.220 --> 00:40:48.160 God is with me. I understand more about that. It's more important of what God's trying to 597 00:40:48.160 --> 00:40:58.480 do through me than me just not being a sinner. It's more important for you to understand 598 00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:03.560 who you are as a son of God and the power that he's trying to get through your life 599 00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:12.840 than it is for you just to not sin anymore or not be a bad person or not be whatever 600 00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:21.820 you think is unworthy. I'm hoping this is making sense to you guys tonight. It's a good 601 00:41:21.820 --> 00:41:26.140 topic. I'm glad we got into it. I'm glad we got into it. Andy, thank you for breaking 602 00:41:26.940 --> 00:41:42.820 the seal on that. I guess I kind of wanted also something more practical because it usually 603 00:41:43.540 --> 00:41:51.260 in the moment, what is it that is in the moment? Obviously, it's sexual gratification, but in the 604 00:41:51.260 --> 00:41:56.300 moment, what is it that's driving you to do that? Is it just kind of like, oh, I just can't help 605 00:41:57.160 --> 00:42:08.640 myself? Or is it just like, oh, I got to get a release? I got some. My temptation is when I'm 606 00:42:08.640 --> 00:42:16.640 home idle by having downtime because I do all these things and now I want to be idle because 607 00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:22.720 of my time off versus me going to bed, trying to snuggle so I can sleep better. I was thinking, 608 00:42:23.020 --> 00:42:27.040 I could sleep better if I was sleeping with someone. No, that's good. 609 00:42:27.320 --> 00:42:35.360 Well, no, I get it. I get it. Trust me. My own personal story was that when I became sexually 610 00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:41.980 awakened myself, it was the time of my life where I was scared of the dark. I just only understood 611 00:42:41.980 --> 00:42:49.320 this in the last year or so, guys. I literally understood that when I was a kid and I was a child, 612 00:42:49.360 --> 00:42:54.720 I was trying to go to sleep, I was afraid of the dark. Being afraid of the dark was just like 613 00:42:55.340 --> 00:42:59.220 a lot of kids. A lot of kids are afraid of the dark or afraid of something like that, 614 00:42:59.220 --> 00:43:07.900 just monsters under the bed, whatever it is. Then when I became sexually awakened to realize, 615 00:43:08.940 --> 00:43:16.340 oh, I have this ability to gratify myself, that became a soothing thing for me. 616 00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:21.760 That became something that was very soothing. I didn't have to be afraid. I could just lean into 617 00:43:21.760 --> 00:43:30.360 that. That was a childish thing. That was an immature thing, but it was part of my development. 618 00:43:30.460 --> 00:43:42.080 I was a child. I was a young person. Then I had to learn later on how to be responsible 619 00:43:43.040 --> 00:43:50.880 and sexually mature with that in my life. That's the process. 620 00:43:52.960 --> 00:44:02.000 I did not do that well at all for most of my life and at times still don't. 621 00:44:06.980 --> 00:44:10.340 Hello? I'm not saying that this is something that, 622 00:44:11.420 --> 00:44:15.860 oh, well, here's what you do and then it's all done. That's not really the way it works. 623 00:44:19.020 --> 00:44:26.320 That's why you can't just be like, oh, well, I'm going to find the answer. I'm going to stop. 624 00:44:27.140 --> 00:44:30.400 That's going to make me stop it and then everything will be fine. 625 00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:37.060 That's just not the way it works. It's a journey. It's a progress. It's a maturing. 626 00:44:37.320 --> 00:44:41.540 It's a relationship. It's an ongoing. It's just like a continual leaning in. 627 00:44:42.560 --> 00:44:47.360 Paul said it beautifully. He said, the things I don't want to do, I do. The things I do want to 628 00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:58.480 do, I don't. When I was a child, I did childish things. Then as I grow up, I do more mature 629 00:44:58.480 --> 00:44:59.880 things. I get away from the milk. 630 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.420 come into the meat of the word. This is the meat of the word. This is the maturing lessons in life 631 00:45:07.420 --> 00:45:15.260 as men, as we're endeavoring to go after the Lord, as we're endeavoring to be more and more sons of 632 00:45:15.260 --> 00:45:20.620 God and step into that identity. That's why we always talk about identity. I said, these are the 633 00:45:20.620 --> 00:45:28.120 these are the rudiments of righteousness. 634 00:45:29.300 --> 00:45:33.540 Can I jump in real quick, David? Because what I was hearing before I got here, 635 00:45:33.540 --> 00:45:40.480 Andy, I don't think you, maybe you guys didn't get it, okay? So there's, you are never going 636 00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:44.900 to be able to manage it. And you know, like, so like, like, as far as like, if you get started, 637 00:45:44.900 --> 00:45:51.820 there's no, it's like opening Pandora's box, right? So, but you can wean off day by day, 638 00:45:51.960 --> 00:45:59.940 get back on the, get off developing new neural pathways, new cravings, which will lead to 639 00:45:59.940 --> 00:46:06.060 practice. There is a practical way to get over with the whole process. Absolutely. 640 00:46:06.340 --> 00:46:14.820 When you realize the cost it takes to break that, you are much more, less likely to start over 641 00:46:14.820 --> 00:46:19.820 again, because you know, the pain of getting, weaning yourself off of it. There's some truth. 642 00:46:20.780 --> 00:46:25.660 Yeah. It's powerful. 643 00:46:29.540 --> 00:46:33.600 I have a, I have a wind to share. Is that okay? Or yeah, go ahead. 644 00:46:34.020 --> 00:46:37.860 So I went on a date on Sunday and it was really fun. 645 00:46:42.390 --> 00:46:48.550 And yeah, so I was just learning about like, through this course, I've been learning a lot 646 00:46:50.090 --> 00:46:55.630 about boundaries. And so, and I was always kind of felt like, oh, if I set boundaries, 647 00:46:55.870 --> 00:47:00.930 people won't respect it. But I've actually been finding like, so I had four Zoom dates this week. 648 00:47:01.410 --> 00:47:04.950 And several times I just said to the people, Hey, I don't want to share that. And I was just 649 00:47:04.950 --> 00:47:07.990 setting a boundary and, and they actually thanked me every time. And when I was like, 650 00:47:07.990 --> 00:47:11.870 I went on the date, the girl went to kiss me a couple of times. And I just kind of, 651 00:47:12.410 --> 00:47:15.030 at the end, I was like, Isaac, I gotta, I gotta get out of here. Cause I'm gonna, 652 00:47:15.230 --> 00:47:19.730 I gotta run. Cause I'm gonna, I'm gonna run into trouble if I stay. And the girls thanked me so 653 00:47:19.730 --> 00:47:24.170 much. She said, thank you for showing boundaries. And she said, I so respect you as a man of God 654 00:47:24.170 --> 00:47:30.730 for showing boundaries. That is super powerful. And, and, and that to me, cause like before this 655 00:47:30.730 --> 00:47:36.670 course, I would have done it. I would have kissed the girl, but I was like, Hey, this is, this is 656 00:47:36.670 --> 00:47:41.050 level two for now. Cause just the first date, I don't want to rush it. And she just, she just 657 00:47:41.050 --> 00:47:45.650 said, she started crying. I said, thank you so much for respecting that. And thank you for not 658 00:47:45.650 --> 00:47:51.390 doing that. She said, and so, yeah, that was really moving. And I got kind of inundated in 659 00:47:51.390 --> 00:47:56.390 the last two weeks because I recently just went on a dating sites and I got over like 200 messages 660 00:47:56.390 --> 00:48:00.590 from people and, and I kind of wanted to hide, but I said, you know what, Lord, no, I've been 661 00:48:00.590 --> 00:48:04.210 learning these new things and I want to start practicing some of the things I've been learning. 662 00:48:04.210 --> 00:48:09.890 So yeah, it's been a really great process. That's, that's incredible. I love that Testament. 663 00:48:10.010 --> 00:48:13.310 That really caps off basically what we were talking about all night, which is basically 664 00:48:15.010 --> 00:48:20.490 like, like you have an understanding, you have a higher level of understanding now 665 00:48:21.330 --> 00:48:25.990 about how to treat a woman in the level of relationship that you're at. 666 00:48:26.470 --> 00:48:30.830 And you acted upon it instead of what you would have maybe done before. 667 00:48:31.770 --> 00:48:36.790 And you're like, you know what? I have a higher understanding. I have a higher value for who I am, 668 00:48:36.790 --> 00:48:43.310 what God is doing in my life and the relationships that I'm after. And because I understand that, 669 00:48:43.990 --> 00:48:50.190 I'm not going to take this step where I could have. That's called meekness. That's called power 670 00:48:50.190 --> 00:48:58.370 under control. That is righteous. That is a fruit of the spirit. That is powerful. That is a prime 671 00:48:58.370 --> 00:49:04.630 example of everything we've been talking about tonight. And I love that. I love that you're 672 00:49:04.630 --> 00:49:11.650 sharing that. And, um, that's something that we can apply, not just in the area of like 673 00:49:13.190 --> 00:49:17.030 physical intimacy, sexual gratification, all that. We can apply that to so many different areas 674 00:49:19.410 --> 00:49:23.990 where it's like, God, I need a higher understanding. I need a higher 675 00:49:25.450 --> 00:49:31.430 uh, development, development, understanding of what's happening when I'm in this mess. 676 00:49:32.610 --> 00:49:36.610 And then God's like, okay, now, now that you have this higher understanding, 677 00:49:37.210 --> 00:49:43.390 here's an opportunity for you to exhibit that. That's, that's wonderful. 678 00:49:45.130 --> 00:49:49.430 That's what we're here to do. And it's totally true what you were saying about like feeling the 679 00:49:49.670 --> 00:49:55.130 because like, I definitely felt a power when I like these people were respecting my boundaries. 680 00:49:55.370 --> 00:49:58.970 So one girl before our Facebook date, she like saw one on my Facebook page and said, 681 00:49:59.070 --> 00:49:59.970 oh, I see you're really into politics. 682 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.200 And I don't really know if that's for me and I just said hey, you know what? 683 00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:07.540 It's a first date and I don't talk about those things. Let's just get to know each other and that's good 684 00:50:07.540 --> 00:50:10.200 She actually said hey, thank you so much for that 685 00:50:10.200 --> 00:50:15.340 She said I really she said I really respect you as a man of God and your leadership that God's given you and she said 686 00:50:15.340 --> 00:50:16.560 Thank you for 687 00:50:17.040 --> 00:50:22.240 Putting those boundaries in place and she said I really really respected that and she wrote me a long letter today saying thank you 688 00:50:23.060 --> 00:50:23.380 boundaries 689 00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:28.600 That's awesome. That's the that's what women are looking for and the other thing that said that's another area 690 00:50:29.100 --> 00:50:32.740 You talk about like it's like politics, you know anymore 691 00:50:33.220 --> 00:50:35.860 Politics is just you know, well, I mean, it's always been that way 692 00:50:35.940 --> 00:50:40.780 But I mean like, you know leading to violence and so forth, you know, it's another things like those of you 693 00:50:40.780 --> 00:50:46.400 They're like fighters and like I'm ready to fight. You know, I'm reading a story of a 694 00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:48.340 biography right now an 695 00:50:48.860 --> 00:50:50.460 autobiography by a guy that 696 00:50:50.680 --> 00:50:53.720 You know, he's like telling his story and everything and he's just like come with others 697 00:50:53.720 --> 00:50:57.600 One of those guys just like prone to fight, you know, like get into get into fights 698 00:50:58.340 --> 00:50:58.840 and 699 00:50:58.840 --> 00:51:03.520 It's just like it's just that it's there's that moment when you're faced with a situation 700 00:51:04.040 --> 00:51:11.020 It's just like I could or I couldn't you know, I can or I can't 701 00:51:11.220 --> 00:51:17.720 You know, and it's just like that decision moment. Like am I gonna do this or am I gonna not this much throw this punch? 702 00:51:19.260 --> 00:51:23.080 I'm gonna turn I'm gonna scroll some more. I'm gonna turn that on 703 00:51:23.080 --> 00:51:28.280 You know, I'm saying you say how this is like this is applicable to so many things 704 00:51:30.020 --> 00:51:33.620 And it's that moment at which 705 00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:41.860 That's that either that way of escape or that moment that God's like what's what's this son of mine gonna do? 706 00:51:43.160 --> 00:51:44.980 You know, what's he gonna do 707 00:51:45.640 --> 00:51:48.100 Is he gonna choose life or is he gonna choose death? 708 00:51:49.200 --> 00:51:51.540 He's gonna choose righteousness or he's gonna choose 709 00:51:52.760 --> 00:51:53.980 The way of the flesh 710 00:51:55.620 --> 00:52:00.960 And these are the moments and they're altogether lovely and beautiful 711 00:52:03.260 --> 00:52:05.260 Because you can walk through them and 712 00:52:06.880 --> 00:52:11.300 You can experience them with the power of the Lord or you can experience them the power of your flesh 713 00:52:13.460 --> 00:52:13.980 And 714 00:52:18.060 --> 00:52:19.100 And I 715 00:52:19.100 --> 00:52:23.680 You lean into the power of the power of righteousness the power of the Spirit of the Lord 716 00:52:24.740 --> 00:52:26.900 You know the better off you're gonna be for sure 717 00:52:29.380 --> 00:52:29.860 Amen 718 00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:31.880 Good 719 00:52:33.220 --> 00:52:38.360 Guys, I I want to kind of like I said, I just got home. I'm exhausted 720 00:52:39.140 --> 00:52:43.220 So we're gonna we're gonna leave her up right at the time tonight, but bless you guys 721 00:52:43.520 --> 00:52:46.140 Great discussion tonight. Thank you all that shared 722 00:52:47.020 --> 00:52:52.840 So powerful, thank you Andy for updating us. Thank you Mike for chiming in and being vulnerable 723 00:52:53.660 --> 00:52:57.460 Thank you, David, right for sharing. Thank you hunter 724 00:53:01.400 --> 00:53:07.960 And thank you powerful, okay guys god bless have a great week, it's all talk to you