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Hey, everyone.

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Happy Tuesday.

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So glad to have you all joining us for another love story edition.

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I'm so excited about our guest tonight, both couples, my husband's going to be jumping

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on here in just a few minutes.

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So glad again to have you all joining us.

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There's so many things that we're going to be able to unpack and talk about tonight.

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I can't wait to have this conversation.

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Both of these couples, if you don't, well, a lot of you may know Renee, you might not

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know her Brian yet.

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We're going to have my Brian on here tonight too.

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And then some of you may know Annette Bridge or Jared, but they are also a success story

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in our community.

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Both of these couples are amazing.

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We're going to have a lot to learn tonight and we're going to be able to hear just different

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aspects of not only, you know, what was God doing in them before God brought them together?

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But also when God brought them together, what did God start doing in them after that point?

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Because we know that there's more revealings for healing that happen even after we get

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into relationship.

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We've learned the last couple of times we've done love stories.

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So many times we have to surrender so many things on our list.

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And sometimes that can be just things that we didn't even think would, you know, bother

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us or things that, you know, we didn't think would be a hindrance.

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And then God's like, okay, yeah, get rid of this on your list.

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And then through that, God brings us to our people.

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So awesome.

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So I'm going to go ahead and pray for us.

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And then I'm going to just for my, my lovely couples guests, the way we're going to do

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it is I will ask you all as individuals to share one after each other.

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So like, we'll start with Annette and Jared, just a little bit about from your perspective,

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your story of how God brought you all together.

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What were some things that God was doing in you regarding the heartwork?

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How was he preparing you for your spirit mate and bringing you together?

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And then, you know, just a couple little things just about your story, even when God brought

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you together.

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What were some of the things that God was asking you to surrender to him?

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What were the joys that you were experiencing as well as just maybe a couple things you

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had to work through?

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And then the other person in the couple will share.

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And then I'll have Renee and Brian go.

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And from there, we'll kind of, I'll pull out other questions that I want to ask you all.

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I did ask both couples if there was anything off limits.

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I think I asked that.

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So if there is anything off limits, and I didn't ask you that message that to me, so

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that I don't ask it, because we like to have a lot of fun.

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And I really love to just flow with the conversation.

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Because of the things that you all share, because everybody that's here tonight, there's

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just so many layers to how God brought them together and the beautiful unfolding of their

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stories.

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And I've had the pleasure of getting to know Annette and Jared quite a bit over the last

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few years.

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And Renee, of course, getting to work with her, Brian, I'm so excited.

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This is my first time meeting you.

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I have been waiting for this day.

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Love it.

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And for our community, we've been waiting for Brian and for Jared to get to know you

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all better as well.

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So let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you so much for this night.

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Thank you for everything that you're doing in these incredible couples.

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Thank you for Annette and Jared's wedding.

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Thank you for their covenant that they've already made.

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Thank you, God, for Renee and Brian, for their wedding day that is soon approaching.

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God, we ask you to bless tonight, bless the conversation, let the Holy Spirit flow in

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the things that they even feel led to share.

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Lord, we thank you that we'll have fun, that we'll laugh, but we'll also learn a lot from

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each other.

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And we just thank you for your presence being here with us.

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In Jesus name, amen.

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I think I saw my hubby was on, so I'm going to pin him real quick.

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Hello, just want to say, Renee, he's got a great name and he spells it correctly.

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So nice to meet you, Brian.

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Oh my gosh, this is a Brian thing.

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I understand all the Brians, then when they meet each other, this is something they talk

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about.

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All right, so I'm going to have Annette and Jared go first.

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Again, if you all just share a little bit about, you know, your love story and how God

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brought you all together.

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Hey everyone, I'm Annette and this is my husband, Jared.

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So I guess I'll share first and then Jared will go.

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I was, I'm divorced or was divorced and I was divorced for about seven years before

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we got married.

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And in that time period, God did a lot of work in my heart.

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I went through divorce care and also had done.

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Some life coaching and just started working on myself because I knew that someday I would

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like to be married again, but I also knew that I needed to have a lot of healing done

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too.

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I had to, I have two kids.

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They were six and eight when I had gotten divorced.

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And so they were pretty young.

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So I had dated twice, um, and the year of 2022, I had felt that I just got done going

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through relationship.

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And I felt that God wanted me to take that whole year off and just really work on myself.

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And I think it was around March or April of that year that my cousin sent me a link to

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Jackie's group.

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And I was like, oh my word.

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So I listened to her like free trial.

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I was like, I really want to do this.

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I'm like, God, I really want to do this.

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And so, um, I did, I did her heart work.

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And in that time, God really worked in my heart on helping me to really come to forgiveness

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with my ex and his girlfriend, and also a friendship that I had, um, that I was really

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hurt by.

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And so that was like a pretty huge breakthrough for me.

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And then even in that time, um, I felt a desire to really go into finding a career.

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And I was really afraid before that, like to really get out there and put myself in

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the public.

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I had done cleaning jobs.

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I had done online business, but never really worked in public works.

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And I kind of really wanted to stretch myself and going through the hard work that happened.

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And, um, so then that December I started my career, became an esthetician and, um, I decided,

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so I thought, well, I'll start school and then, you know, it's going to be the new year.

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So maybe I'll start dating.

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And I thought, no, I'm going to wait to go on to any like dating sites or anything like

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that.

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So I'm done with school, which was in June of 23.

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So I did, and it was a good experience by that time, I heard a lot of different stories

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from being in Jackie's group.

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So I felt more confident doing that.

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And I'd actually dated someone for about six weeks, and I'm like, I'm done.

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I'm done with this.

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And so Jackie had the single nation Facebook group set up, and she has encouraged us to

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put our bio in there.

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And I did.

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And I think it was, it was July, and I saw Jared had put his bio in there.

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And I thought, wow, he has really bright, shining eyes, and he looks so happy.

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And I thought, Hmm, so I had seen a lot of other girls had like commented welcome and

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all that.

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But I thought, you know, Jackie had said, go ahead and drop a hanky.

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So I thought I'll, I'll friend request him, I looked at his Facebook page, and I'm like,

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it looks like we would have some things in common.

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And I had specifically been praying for specific things, someone who really loved Jesus, someone

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who would pray with me over my kids, because they were by that time, they were in their

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teens.

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And someone who would love me, like Jesus loves me, and would show me Christ love and

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accept me for just as I am.

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And because I was struggling with some health issues, too, and like, you know, just had

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dealt with some rejection, I'm like, working through that really wanted to have someone

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who would really accept me.

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And anyways, he didn't accept my friend request right away.

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So some of my friends are like, Hey, I'm just sending a message.

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I thought, No, I'm gonna wait, I was gonna take my state boards test, right around that

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same time.

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So I was studying for that, too.

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And I was out on my walk.

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And I was really thinking about him, I could, by that time, actually, he had accepted my

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friend request.

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But he hadn't sent me a message.

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And I saw he was looking at my stories.

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And I thought, Okay, he's checking me out, I think.

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So I went out on a walk.

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It was a Friday evening, because my state board test was Saturday.

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And I was really praying over him.

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And I specifically like, Lord, if you want us to get to know each other, like, just haven't

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sent me a message.

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Well, lo and behold, I got in for my walk.

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And he had.

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And we were talking ever since.

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And we just got married this past June.

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So I guess I'll let Jared share now for a little bit.

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Yeah, so, um, yeah, I wrote down a few things just to, I didn't want to forget, forget things.

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But, um, yeah, so like,

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um I actually had been like I had never been married but I was actually in a nine-year

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relationship um previously and um that's that kind of helps I think it kind of helped me give

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me clarity because like it helped help me realize like what I did and didn't want in a in a

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relationship and in a in a wife um and so yeah that helped with that and then like um God led

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me to specifically specifically pray for specific things uh that I wanted in a future wife and um

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this was of course this was before I met Annette of course and then uh and then I met Annette and

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she she like all my answers to prayer were answered in that so yeah that was really good

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and um and then like so we were dating and everything and like uh every night we would

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pray about um getting married and pray like together I'm saying like over the phone we

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would talk over the phone every night and we would like pray together every night and

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um just pray about like you get getting married and pray that God would work everything out

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and um we included like you know lots of details and like specific details that we wanted we were

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hoping to see happen and everything you know and um also the housing too like because I had a house

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and she had an apartment so we're trying to figure that out um and so then God bought then uh

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eventually we finally came to the decision that it was it was um it was best for me to sell my

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house and then move up move here to Annette where Annette lives and so that's what we did and um

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let's see um and we like we work really well as a team and um just we like talk things through

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work things out and um yeah it's just been going really good

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oh yeah so um so basically like what I'm with my personality like I tend to

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like go into myself and like pull kind of like pull away that's just my my personality like

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but uh since like since being in that nine-year relationship with that previous woman like

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and everything I just learned that um and like the taking like Jackie's course and stuff helped

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with that and like I've learned um like I basically like learned to uh now I like actively communicate

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and like push into the conflict and um instead of like withdrawing from the conflict so that's

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really been helpful with that as well so yeah and like um oh yeah I lived uh back when I had my house

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I lived an hour and 40 minutes away and um but we would like talk on the phone every night and then

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like every weekend I was able to drive up and try to drive into see Annette every weekend um so

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that's kind of how we handled that for the most part. He was so great about that because I had

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just started working at my sister's store and I was working Saturdays and um he was so understanding

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of the fact that I wasn't able to be able to come out very often his direction and he really made it

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a point to just come in and see us and that was that was something that really pulled me to him

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even more just his patience and his kindness because I was going through a lot even at the

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time when we started dating my sister who was like really my support system when I got divorced and

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moved into her into this area she moved and so that was a huge like that was a giant I don't know

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what what do you want to call it like it was just a really hard time in my life and then starting a

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new relationship you know it could have went so south if he was not understanding of that and

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um yeah so that was very helpful. I think yeah that's really big I I want to ask you all right

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before I go to Renee and Brian as well like what were some fears that you all faced if there were

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any when you were starting to date each other did either one of you have any fears that God had to

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help you work through to stay engaged which Jared you kind of expressed one of yours in the past you

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pull back where God was teaching you to lean into conflict and express like kind of what was on your

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mind or heart, but were there any other things that God helped you all, whether it was a fear

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or it could have been even just an uncertainty or something that God helped you all work through

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to continue to grow closer together versus pull apart?

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For me, I don't know. I mean, maybe, I think, I don't know. In my opinion, at least,

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who knows what I'll say in like five or 10 years, but in my opinion, I would say

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like the fear of rejection, but like, I just, I didn't let that like hold me back though. Like,

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because I knew like, I knew I wanted a wife and I knew like, you know, you got to go through the

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steps to get a wife. So what is that? You know, like, so. And you took, Jared, you also did the

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men's heart work in our community, correct? Yeah. I think some of the people were wondering,

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they also did Simbis. Renee and Brian have done Simbis with us as well. And sometimes people do

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heart work outside of our community, which is something my husband Brian did. And I think

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Renee's Brian also has done. And we'll let them start to share here in just a minute. But was

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there anything that came to mind for you, Annette? And it's okay if you don't have anything now,

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because we can circle back if something comes up. I'll share this real quick.

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So, well, some of the things that I learned in Jackie's group was maybe even some of my

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attachment styles, or being drawn to a person who wasn't healthy for me. And when I started

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dating Jared, it was so different than what I was used to. And I also was going through my sister

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moving, I think all of that was just compact in my mind. And I felt myself starting to really pull

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back and like, do I really like him, but I knew he was a great guy. And so I, I scheduled a call

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with Jackie because I didn't, I wanted to push into this as if this was something that I needed

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to work on in my own life. And she really helped me and she really encouraged me to maybe take a

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step back. And I didn't know how Jared was going to respond to that. Like, was he going to be like,

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you know what, like, yeah, what's happening here, but he was here again. He didn't get all freaked

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out. He didn't get all like, come in like, what's the word I want where texting me all the time,

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like he was very gracious in the fact that I didn't want to text as much. Maybe we didn't even

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call as much over that time. And like, he gave me that space. And over that time, I was like,

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you know what, he really is what I, what I need. Maybe it's not all the crazy butterflies,

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but I had this peace. And I always say our, our story is love comes softly because it grew over

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time. And I adore him now. I mean, I did then, but yeah, like it, it really, yeah, that was good.

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That was good to like call Jackie and yeah. I love that. And I love how you said that. And,

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and I would say, you know, Brian and I grew very similar to what you're talking about in the

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beginning. You know, I wasn't, you know, I wanted to get to know him and kind of not feel this rush

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on things. We, I didn't pull back in the same way that you did, but I felt very similar to what

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you're describing. So I love that you wrote that you shared that about the love coming softly. And

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I do think that, you know, Jackie emphasizes, it's not always going to be this big rush for

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everybody. And I think it's so important for us to remember that. And a lot of times, just now

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from my experience, man, the, the consistent love, the consistent patience, the consistent kindness

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and faithfulness that Brian has shown me absolutely won my heart 100%. So I love that you pulled that

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out earlier in that as well. So thanks for sharing. We'll circle back in just a little bit to have you

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guys share more. So I'm going to go over to Renee and Brian to have you guys share a little bit

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about your story individually, how God brought you together or whatever, you know, God lays on your

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heart. Yeah. Well, I'll, I'll go, I'll go first and I'll go quick. And you guys know a lot of my

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story, so I won't tell you that, but I'll just highlight some things that you may not know about.

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I mean, I joined the program March of 2021, and I probably came on the team about 12 months,

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a year and a half later. And I was the runaway bride. I was the anxious avoidant. I fell in love

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and broke up a lot with a lot of people. And then I had a lot of years where I had nobody.

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And I started, I became like the online dating queen and I hated online dating, which is why

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when Jackie had me teach the online dating class, I was like, oh my gosh, I think God has a funny

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sense of humor that I'm teaching the dating class. But I mind you, I still believed I was.

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ever going to meet my husband online.

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I would have bet my last dollar.

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It was not going to happen that way.

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Um, and so then I had a couple of relationships and I'm sure when I, by

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the time I broke up with the second one at first, Jackie was like, are you

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sure you're not being a little picky?

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And, but when I told her and Bethany, how that relationship was going down,

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they realized I got myself into an unsafe situation and you guys, that

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could happen to the best of us.

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And I really didn't tell people about it.

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And so Bethany made me promise that I would date better in community the next time.

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And so I was really intentional about that.

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And so I took about six months off from that relationship, kept moving

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forward with my friendships, with my health, figuring out how I got there.

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You know, somebody who's leading and teaching, how did I, like, how

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did that happen for goodness sake?

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And, and, uh, both Bethany and Jackie just said, kept just doing the thing,

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just kept doing the thing.

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And I got back online last December, but as you guys know, when I talk

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about getting online, I got only on Facebook dating cause it was free

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and I'm in school and I'm cheap.

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Um, and I only check it in the morning and I check it at night.

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Like I wasn't making a big deal about it.

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And you also know, I don't text very long.

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And then I moved to a video date or a live date or else bye-bye.

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And, um, and so when I met Brian at the end of February, um, it was in a

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moment where I was like, I actually had a lot, like, you know,

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feast or famine on Facebook dating.

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And it was a season where I was, there was a, there was a good number of guys

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local, and I remember looking at his profile and he was three hours and 18

283
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minutes away, I had a three hour limit because I'm in school, I don't have time

284
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to travel and I don't have money to travel.

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So whatever.

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And I thought of Brian and Bethany.

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And I remember when Bethany said, when I widened the search, God brought me Brian.

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So that came to my mind.

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And the fact that his name was Brian spelled the same way, swear to God.

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I was like, I think I'm supposed to give this guy a chance.

291
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It was just kind of supernatural.

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And his first, you know, I let them re I let them speak to me first.

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And there was a cute little sassy photo of me in a pink jumpsuit.

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And it was the one photo that was like, it wasn't sexy, but I mean, it was sassy

295
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and it was the one photo, all the men would be like, Hey, and of course

296
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that's the photo he picks, he writes great pick and I'm like, really lamest

297
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star ever, and I wrote nice smile.

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And then I will say his very next message was very thoughtful.

299
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And he'll tell you why that's how he started.

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Cause I never thought about it from his point of view.

301
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And, you know, we started texting and as you guys know, he started asking

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me really good questions right away.

303
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And my common answer was, that's a great question for a video chat.

304
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A lot will get lost in translation as if we keep texting that.

305
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And so he realized after a couple of days of me doing that, he was either

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booking a video day with Meryl.

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We were moving on.

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And, um, so we had our, and here's where I broke all my rules.

309
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Normally I do a zoom link, but he was on vacation with his family.

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And I don't know why, cause I might've been tired that day.

311
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And I was like, do you have an iPhone?

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He's like, yep.

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And I'm like, here's my cell phone.

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Let's do a FaceTime visit.

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And y'all, this is the photo.

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So I'm thinking at some point I'm like, sure.

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He's on vacation with his family.

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He's probably like, um, with his, like, I thought he was maybe with his

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like family, his wife, I'm trying to show up course now it's not coming up.

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Okay.

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So he sent me this photo.

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I'll find it later.

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And like, he has sunglasses on in the backgrounds, Florida.

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And y'all, it looked like a stock photo.

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I'm like, there's no way this dude's going to show up and be this guy.

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And of course he was.

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And, you know, that was our, that was our shortest conversation,

328
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but it was way too long.

329
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I'm not even gonna tell you how long it was.

330
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Cause I broke all the rules.

331
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It was way too long.

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Um, but literally, you know, for the next six weeks, uh, Brian became my best friend.

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Like I could, now he might tell you, he knew I was the one right away.

334
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I'm thankful.

335
00:23:59.160 --> 00:23:59.960
He didn't tell me that.

336
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Cause I would have thought that was crazy.

337
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I just knew that I was building a friendship, but he was on vacation

338
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and then I went on vacation.

339
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And he drove 13 hours and left his vacation early just to cross over in

340
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Nashville on his way home from his vacation to catch me before I went to

341
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my vacation for two hours.

342
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And then he got a hotel.

343
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Then I had a fundraising event to go to before I left town.

344
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And so he got a hotel room.

345
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So he got a hotel room to take a nap so he could see me for

346
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one more hour before I left.

347
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So like he, you know how Jackie, Jackie used to say this phrase.

348
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If a man wants to date you, he will cut off his arm and use as

349
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an oar to swim upstream to you.

350
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And that is what he did on the first time.

351
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And that's what he did after that.

352
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Kind of like what Annette said, he was working at a college.

353
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He was an adjunct professor and also working one night a week at a hospital.

354
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And I was like, how are we going to have time to date?

355
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He's like, we're just going to have to be intentional.

356
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And you know, for those first six weeks, he came here.

357
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He drove nearly, it should have been three hours and 18 minutes, but because it rained every blessed the time he drove to me

358
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It took him over four or five hours every time and he did it every weekend

359
00:25:10.760 --> 00:25:14.560
Until and then you know, he was I mean he'll still fill in the blanks more

360
00:25:14.560 --> 00:25:17.840
but he had already been looking for a new job anyway, and

361
00:25:20.040 --> 00:25:24.520
And he'll tell you about the faith question because you guys you know how I give you guys the correct faith questions to ask

362
00:25:24.520 --> 00:25:26.520
He apparently bombed the answers

363
00:25:26.800 --> 00:25:28.800
But he has more than proven

364
00:25:29.120 --> 00:25:32.680
His faith way better than he could have ever answered those questions

365
00:25:33.320 --> 00:25:35.120
Because he found a job in Nashville

366
00:25:35.120 --> 00:25:40.640
Like he was willing to come in as a faculty position and start at a college back at the bottom

367
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:46.120
And when they did the interview, they actually gave him a different position. That was actually a promotion

368
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So when God is in it, God's gonna put all of the steps together

369
00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:55.200
We never planned for the future those first six to eight weeks

370
00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:59.480
We just continued to get to know each other pretty much. I think the first time he said, I love you

371
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I was literally in the middle of picking up my dog's poop

372
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Like I was bent over and I was like really you're gonna use this moment to say I love you

373
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I don't know how it happened

374
00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:13.920
And my dog is obsessed with her him and I will say per Bethany's advice

375
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:20.480
I dated him in community like every weekend. I put him in front of every godly married couple not my single friends

376
00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:26.240
But every godly married couple I could find I put him in front of he calls it the Supreme Court confirmation hearings

377
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:28.120
It is not wrong

378
00:26:28.120 --> 00:26:33.800
But I was waiting for one person on his side or my side to say this is going too fast

379
00:26:33.800 --> 00:26:35.600
This is not right because y'all

380
00:26:35.600 --> 00:26:39.760
One of the things I had to let go of was he'd been divorced twice and that was like

381
00:26:39.840 --> 00:26:44.280
That was almost a deal-breaker for me. Like that was really hard for me to get past that one

382
00:26:45.040 --> 00:26:46.320
So

383
00:26:46.320 --> 00:26:51.040
I'll just pass the baton because Brian's got some really good things to say y'all know my story

384
00:26:51.400 --> 00:26:55.220
She took all the good stuff. Holy spokes. I'm sorry. I'm anyway

385
00:26:55.220 --> 00:27:00.800
I'm also sick to so what she didn't know and why I knew before she knew is

386
00:27:01.200 --> 00:27:04.920
What she didn't know is that me being an educator

387
00:27:04.920 --> 00:27:12.080
I spent a lot of time either in front of students on zoom on phone calls talking to families

388
00:27:12.360 --> 00:27:19.760
Parents kids whatever and I hated talking on the phone hated it with a passion but

389
00:27:20.440 --> 00:27:24.240
That very first phone call that we had there was this I don't know

390
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:31.160
There was this connection as Annette put it earlier that there was this piece and I can't explain it

391
00:27:31.160 --> 00:27:35.560
I don't even know how to even begin to go about talking about it

392
00:27:35.560 --> 00:27:41.680
But there was this ultimate piece and I was with my family. So she finally figured it out

393
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:44.200
We were when we did that first FaceTime. I

394
00:27:44.800 --> 00:27:52.080
Was in a condo with my nephews and we had a four-bedroom condo. I was sitting on the lanai

395
00:27:52.080 --> 00:27:57.960
We're on the seventh floor at the top. I got my feet up on the screen window. I'm sitting in a chair

396
00:27:57.960 --> 00:28:00.480
I'm leaned back and here's you know

397
00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:05.320
She thinks I'm on vacation with my family whatever because I sent these stock photos or what-have-you

398
00:28:05.360 --> 00:28:10.160
My nephew comes around and peeks around the corner and looks over the phone and goes, oh

399
00:28:10.680 --> 00:28:18.680
She's cute. And then he realized he then that's when she realized I really was on vacation with my family and

400
00:28:19.720 --> 00:28:23.720
So and it was and we had and you know, I know that she said that you know

401
00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:26.620
She broke all the rules, but we did talk on the phone for a long time

402
00:28:26.620 --> 00:28:33.120
But it was none of this it was no trauma bonding. There was no anxious attachment

403
00:28:33.120 --> 00:28:39.800
It was all we had questions comments answers or whatever. So why did I say great pick?

404
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:44.720
here's the thing I'd been divorced for almost six years and

405
00:28:45.760 --> 00:28:51.440
I've been on the dating sites and you know, I'd done Facebook dating. I was on it. I was off it

406
00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:57.800
I did eHarmony, you know on and off and and I was just tired and the problem was is that

407
00:28:58.360 --> 00:29:03.440
You you know, everybody's like, oh you got to gear up you got to make that first response something good

408
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:09.880
You got to pull out those connections and all those pieces and I got to the point where I was doing that and I thought

409
00:29:09.880 --> 00:29:12.320
I was doing pretty well, but obviously I wasn't

410
00:29:12.920 --> 00:29:19.920
and but what what happened was is that I would put all this effort and energy into these responses and I'd get nothing or

411
00:29:20.360 --> 00:29:22.360
I would get

412
00:29:22.520 --> 00:29:23.160
You know

413
00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:30.240
It would be somebody who really wasn't who they claimed that they were and so trying to weed all that stuff out

414
00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:37.240
So I saw this pic. I saw her whole profile. She talked a lot about Jesus. She talked about her faith

415
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:42.280
She had all of the pieces that I was looking for. I'd done all of this work

416
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:49.600
With my divorce I'd lost my mom and my brother within a year of each other

417
00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:53.760
So I I mean there was it was a rough time

418
00:29:53.760 --> 00:30:00.040
But I worked and I worked and I worked but every single night I prayed for my wife didn't know who she was

419
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.400
was, but I prayed for my wife.

420
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:04.840
And I prayed for two things.

421
00:30:04.840 --> 00:30:06.880
That's all I asked God for was two things.

422
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:09.600
And this is where God has a sense of humor.

423
00:30:09.600 --> 00:30:12.560
I said, God, please just send me somebody

424
00:30:12.560 --> 00:30:15.500
who will love me as much as I love them

425
00:30:15.500 --> 00:30:19.120
and who will strengthen my relationship with you.

426
00:30:19.120 --> 00:30:21.420
And that's all I ever wanted.

427
00:30:21.420 --> 00:30:22.960
And that's all I ever asked for.

428
00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:26.320
And then I got this, you know, I got this,

429
00:30:26.320 --> 00:30:27.920
I sent this great pic.

430
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:30.200
I'm like, she's got everything in the profile

431
00:30:30.200 --> 00:30:32.480
that I thought was necessary.

432
00:30:33.800 --> 00:30:36.760
And then she responds with nice smile,

433
00:30:36.760 --> 00:30:39.600
but see, she thought she was being sassy back

434
00:30:39.600 --> 00:30:41.940
and I'm going, you responded.

435
00:30:43.240 --> 00:30:44.840
So I'm now in.

436
00:30:44.840 --> 00:30:46.120
So then, yeah.

437
00:30:46.120 --> 00:30:49.080
So when she took that and decided

438
00:30:49.080 --> 00:30:51.600
that it was enough for her to respond,

439
00:30:51.600 --> 00:30:54.200
then I was really, then I was engaged.

440
00:30:54.200 --> 00:30:56.240
And then I started asking those really hard questions.

441
00:30:56.240 --> 00:30:58.160
Hey, you know, one of the hardest questions

442
00:30:58.160 --> 00:30:59.840
I think I asked her was, you know what,

443
00:30:59.840 --> 00:31:04.120
I bet it's really hard for some men to go out

444
00:31:04.120 --> 00:31:06.240
or date you because of all of the things

445
00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:07.160
that you've accomplished.

446
00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:09.560
I saw her profile and I thought, look, good Lord,

447
00:31:09.560 --> 00:31:12.420
she is like super far out of my league.

448
00:31:12.420 --> 00:31:15.040
She sees my profile and she thinks, good Lord,

449
00:31:15.040 --> 00:31:16.800
he's super far out of my league.

450
00:31:16.800 --> 00:31:21.360
And I'm like, and then, I mean, God just would interwoven

451
00:31:21.360 --> 00:31:25.040
connected every piece and it was just so amazing.

452
00:31:25.040 --> 00:31:27.040
But we have to get to the faith question

453
00:31:27.040 --> 00:31:29.900
because this to me is the most hysterical part

454
00:31:29.900 --> 00:31:31.000
of our relationship.

455
00:31:31.000 --> 00:31:32.480
I loved it.

456
00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:35.720
She asked me this question really right

457
00:31:35.720 --> 00:31:38.520
on this first video phone call.

458
00:31:38.520 --> 00:31:40.880
She claims it wasn't, but it was.

459
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:42.960
And it was pretty short into the call.

460
00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:46.360
And she goes, so Brian, tell me,

461
00:31:46.360 --> 00:31:49.080
how has faith shown up in your life?

462
00:31:49.080 --> 00:31:53.120
And I'm like, I don't know how to answer this question.

463
00:31:53.120 --> 00:31:54.720
I have no idea.

464
00:31:55.400 --> 00:31:58.880
I don't even remember what I answered, but I answered it.

465
00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:01.200
So we go on and we have conversations.

466
00:32:01.200 --> 00:32:03.000
And just like Jared and Annette,

467
00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:06.200
we talked every single day while we were on vacation.

468
00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:09.080
I was on vacation, I had this disposable time.

469
00:32:09.080 --> 00:32:13.760
So we talked, but it wasn't like we texted all day long

470
00:32:13.760 --> 00:32:16.360
and then there might've been a couple of texts

471
00:32:16.360 --> 00:32:17.200
here and there.

472
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:19.320
And those texts were just to,

473
00:32:19.320 --> 00:32:21.060
when are we going to get together

474
00:32:21.060 --> 00:32:23.440
to have a conversation tonight?

475
00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:25.560
When are we going to FaceTime?

476
00:32:25.560 --> 00:32:29.120
And it got to the point where my sister, hysterical,

477
00:32:29.120 --> 00:32:32.240
she'd look at me because when we're on vacation together,

478
00:32:32.240 --> 00:32:33.360
we play cards.

479
00:32:33.360 --> 00:32:36.240
Every single night we play cards.

480
00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:38.800
She'd look at me and she goes, so Brian,

481
00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:40.960
are you playing cards tonight

482
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:43.240
or are you going to talk to your girlfriend?

483
00:32:44.520 --> 00:32:47.680
And I said, well, we're not going until nine o'clock.

484
00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:49.840
So I got time to play a game or two.

485
00:32:50.840 --> 00:32:52.920
But so we went through

486
00:32:52.920 --> 00:32:57.320
and we would have these nice long drawn out conversations

487
00:32:57.320 --> 00:32:59.880
and it was back and forth questions.

488
00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:03.600
And again, like she said, she did this video dating thing.

489
00:33:03.600 --> 00:33:05.720
So I got that over with early.

490
00:33:05.720 --> 00:33:07.480
I passed that test when she saw

491
00:33:07.480 --> 00:33:10.040
that I really did look like I was in my picture,

492
00:33:10.040 --> 00:33:12.000
which was amazing, I guess by itself,

493
00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:14.960
because we all know that we've gone out

494
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:17.560
with those individuals who like,

495
00:33:17.560 --> 00:33:19.620
this is what you said you look like.

496
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:21.900
And this is what you look like.

497
00:33:23.140 --> 00:33:26.300
They're not the same, right?

498
00:33:26.300 --> 00:33:30.700
So where was I going now?

499
00:33:30.700 --> 00:33:31.780
Back to the faith question.

500
00:33:31.780 --> 00:33:34.660
Cause he thought he answered the faith question well.

501
00:33:34.660 --> 00:33:37.100
So I thought I answered the faith question well.

502
00:33:37.100 --> 00:33:40.860
And well, I thought I had answered the faith question.

503
00:33:40.860 --> 00:33:43.460
We changed subjects, went on the way

504
00:33:43.460 --> 00:33:46.540
and nothing came of it.

505
00:33:46.540 --> 00:33:49.100
Later on we get together

506
00:33:49.500 --> 00:33:52.700
maybe a week or so later and we're talking

507
00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:54.340
and she goes, so Brian,

508
00:33:54.340 --> 00:33:57.500
how has faith shown up in your life?

509
00:33:57.500 --> 00:33:59.580
And I looked at her and I said,

510
00:33:59.580 --> 00:34:01.420
and this is what I knew.

511
00:34:01.420 --> 00:34:05.460
I said, obviously I did not do a very good job

512
00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:08.340
of answering that question the first time.

513
00:34:08.340 --> 00:34:10.900
So I'm gonna just say,

514
00:34:10.900 --> 00:34:15.100
I'm not exactly sure how to answer this question, right?

515
00:34:15.100 --> 00:34:17.940
But then she'll tell you to make a longer story short,

516
00:34:17.940 --> 00:34:22.940
she'll tell you that my faith is just profusely strong

517
00:34:24.900 --> 00:34:28.860
in the sense that it's just unwavering.

518
00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:32.060
I just firmly believe what I believe

519
00:34:32.060 --> 00:34:34.540
and I believe that what God has told me

520
00:34:34.540 --> 00:34:38.060
and I just stand firm on that truth.

521
00:34:38.060 --> 00:34:40.380
And I firmly believed in her.

522
00:34:40.380 --> 00:34:43.980
I firmly believed that he had ordained this relationship

523
00:34:43.980 --> 00:34:47.820
and he has cleared a pathway

524
00:34:47.820 --> 00:34:50.219
that we'll get into that a little bit later

525
00:34:50.219 --> 00:34:52.980
that is just absolutely tremendous.

526
00:34:52.980 --> 00:34:54.100
And so what I said,

527
00:34:54.100 --> 00:34:55.300
and I think I've said this to you guys

528
00:34:55.300 --> 00:34:56.980
in some of the sessions is,

529
00:34:56.980 --> 00:34:59.940
in the next three weeks as I watched him live out.

530
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.520
really difficult things in his life, watching his faith told me a whole lot more than the perfect

531
00:35:05.520 --> 00:35:11.600
answer would have. And I'm so glad that I stayed to watch for the perfect answer instead of hearing

532
00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:18.240
the perfect answer. So that's it. I'll let you ask questions. I love that. I want to pull this out a

533
00:35:18.240 --> 00:35:23.680
little bit more because I think that when I see things people are posting in our groups,

534
00:35:23.680 --> 00:35:31.280
I think we are looking for the perfect answer, you know, to not just the faith question,

535
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:36.240
but to all of our questions. And I'm not saying we shouldn't put emphasis on those things. We

536
00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:40.480
are looking for people that have good fruit, that are walking in the fruits of the spirit.

537
00:35:41.040 --> 00:35:45.680
You know, if you're a female, you're looking for a man in our community. We teach the three M's,

538
00:35:45.680 --> 00:35:50.320
masculine, marriage minded, and mature, right? So we're looking for those things. But

539
00:35:51.280 --> 00:35:57.040
remember that Jackie talks about being a fruit inspector. So how do we do that? Well,

540
00:35:57.040 --> 00:36:02.720
we look at how they live their life. On the good days and the hard days. It's kind of interesting,

541
00:36:02.720 --> 00:36:07.920
you all said to you about the rain, I just want to point this out. So one of the times Brian was

542
00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:14.960
driving to meet me, there was this torrential downpour. And he literally hydroplanes you all

543
00:36:14.960 --> 00:36:19.840
off the freeway on his way to come visit me. So it's kind of ironic that you all had some,

544
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:25.840
some of those days. But I just, I think there's a lot to say. Not that that had anything to do

545
00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:29.680
with where I was going, but it came up in my mind. And I didn't want to forget to mention it.

546
00:36:29.680 --> 00:36:34.880
But I just think there's a lot to say about. And I would love for Annette and Jared to share on

547
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:42.560
this as well. Were there other times that God has shown you an answer to something that you all were,

548
00:36:42.560 --> 00:36:48.960
you know, wondering about where you learned more by seeing each other walk it out versus

549
00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:52.880
them saying the right thing. So you're saying that happened in the faith arena.

550
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:59.280
Did that happen anywhere else? Yeah, there was like, whenever I would ask him to either do

551
00:36:59.280 --> 00:37:04.080
something or say something as we were meeting people and try to coordinate that, he said

552
00:37:04.080 --> 00:37:09.360
something to me once and it really stood out. And he just said, Renee, how many times do you have to

553
00:37:09.360 --> 00:37:13.680
ask the question? And I say, I'm going to do it before you actually believe me that I'm going to

554
00:37:13.680 --> 00:37:21.760
do it. And I was like, whoa. And he's like, I could tell from the tone of your voice that you

555
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:27.200
don't really believe me. And so if I say I'm going to do it, you have to trust that I'm going to do

556
00:37:27.200 --> 00:37:33.200
it. And that really has taught me and I still mess up because like for the wedding, we needed

557
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:37.280
buckets and I sent him a link to get the buckets and I assumed he didn't buy the buckets. So we

558
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:41.200
both ordered the buckets from Amazon. And so now mine has to get returned because he found the

559
00:37:41.200 --> 00:37:51.680
cheaper ones. And so I'm still doing it. And so I would say it's, you guys, I put myself

560
00:37:51.680 --> 00:37:57.600
through college. I ran a nonprofit for 20 years. I've been in charge of every area of my life. And

561
00:37:57.600 --> 00:38:04.480
so releasing things over to Brian and trusting that he has my back and he's going to do what he

562
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:10.960
says he's going to do has been really humbling and way harder for me than I thought it would be.

563
00:38:11.040 --> 00:38:13.280
So that's what I'm going to say. Anything for you?

564
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:16.800
Well, I'm going to add to that. And I think somebody put it in the chat where they said

565
00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:21.840
that actions speak louder than words. And one of the things that I've always taught my children is

566
00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:25.760
is that that's all you have is you have your words and your actions. And if they don't match,

567
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:35.760
then you have nothing. And so we each other, we hold each other accountable and that's just it.

568
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:42.640
And we walked it out the whole time. So whenever we need something, we go to prayer and we come

569
00:38:42.640 --> 00:38:48.080
back together. And then we look at this and say, this is what we need to do. And she's like, okay,

570
00:38:48.080 --> 00:38:53.920
I got this, you got this. And that's just how we go at it. And it's worked well.

571
00:38:54.960 --> 00:38:58.800
This is such a great conversation that we're having. I want to pull a couple things out.

572
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:03.680
As soon as you started talking, Renee, what came up in my spirit is the trust factor,

573
00:39:03.680 --> 00:39:08.560
man, the reality is even myself, I could resonate so much with what you were saying

574
00:39:08.560 --> 00:39:16.160
for different reasons, but just learning how to trust my Brian has and still even we were,

575
00:39:16.160 --> 00:39:21.760
you know, we just had our third anniversary. And I feel like I'm still learning that in different

576
00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:28.160
aspects in different scenarios. But I also wrote down what I heard when Brian was sharing,

577
00:39:28.720 --> 00:39:34.320
um, you all made decisions to lean into relationship. And I heard Jared and Annette

578
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:40.640
say this, instead of pulling away. And, you know, when you find someone healthy, I think,

579
00:39:41.360 --> 00:39:46.400
you know, coming out of agreement with I, you know, we teach us all the time in the heart work.

580
00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:51.280
So I'm going to pull this out right now. I do it myself when we are partnering with that.

581
00:39:52.080 --> 00:39:56.480
It makes it really hard to partner with trusting someone with our heart and with

582
00:39:56.480 --> 00:39:59.760
things like this is, you know, wedding buckets, but

583
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.680
There's so many other things.

584
00:40:02.680 --> 00:40:05.560
So Pat keeps asking, so I want to make sure to touch on this.

585
00:40:05.560 --> 00:40:08.080
Brian, did you go to counseling?

586
00:40:08.080 --> 00:40:09.120
They're curious.

587
00:40:09.120 --> 00:40:11.840
Yes, Renee is Brian.

588
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:14.560
Oh, you're muted there.

589
00:40:14.560 --> 00:40:18.040
Yes, I did before I met Renee.

590
00:40:18.040 --> 00:40:19.680
And so I started counseling.

591
00:40:19.680 --> 00:40:21.440
And I mean, there's just a lot of things,

592
00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:25.400
just from childhood all the way up, that I needed to work on.

593
00:40:25.400 --> 00:40:28.040
And like I said, I had my divorce,

594
00:40:28.040 --> 00:40:30.920
and I'd lost my mom and my brother

595
00:40:30.920 --> 00:40:32.040
within a year of each other.

596
00:40:32.040 --> 00:40:33.480
I lost a half sister.

597
00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:37.280
I lost three people within basically 18 months.

598
00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:40.360
And so yeah, I did do a lot of work.

599
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:43.400
And he kept seeing somebody even after we started.

600
00:40:43.400 --> 00:40:45.920
And it's something that we are both committed to.

601
00:40:45.920 --> 00:40:48.800
We're both into like, hey, keep doing counseling,

602
00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:50.360
keep doing group counseling.

603
00:40:50.360 --> 00:40:52.360
And so we're both committed to that.

604
00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:54.000
And the other thing I wanted to pull up,

605
00:40:54.000 --> 00:40:56.200
because of the counseling thing, a lot of times

606
00:40:56.200 --> 00:40:59.120
you guys say, like, why am I doing all this?

607
00:40:59.120 --> 00:40:59.920
Why am I waiting?

608
00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:00.720
Why am I waiting?

609
00:41:00.720 --> 00:41:03.840
And you know, Jackie said when she met us, she was like, OK,

610
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:05.320
God has just ordained that you're going to have

611
00:41:05.320 --> 00:41:07.240
a later in season marriage.

612
00:41:07.240 --> 00:41:11.560
And we both admit that even six years ago, he would not

613
00:41:11.560 --> 00:41:13.080
have been healthy for me.

614
00:41:13.080 --> 00:41:14.120
And maybe I wouldn't have.

615
00:41:14.120 --> 00:41:15.480
And he always says that I'm not sure

616
00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:17.800
I would have married Hope Clinic Renee,

617
00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:21.120
because she was kind of like big boss babe.

618
00:41:21.120 --> 00:41:24.760
And so we both lost a parent.

619
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:27.160
I'm not sure about that, I guess.

620
00:41:27.160 --> 00:41:27.880
I didn't know.

621
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:28.880
I'm looking for them right there.

622
00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:31.480
OK, thank you.

623
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:34.440
We both lost a parent right around the same time.

624
00:41:34.440 --> 00:41:36.200
That was a complicated relationship.

625
00:41:36.200 --> 00:41:39.160
And I'm actually grateful that we both did our therapy

626
00:41:39.160 --> 00:41:40.480
and grieved that.

627
00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:42.800
So we don't have to bring that into the marriage,

628
00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:43.840
if that makes sense.

629
00:41:43.840 --> 00:41:45.640
It's still a part of our story.

630
00:41:45.640 --> 00:41:50.080
But it's not a wound that could have hurt the relationship.

631
00:41:50.080 --> 00:41:51.400
And that's a whole other story.

632
00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:54.440
But I just wanted to press into the counseling and the timing

633
00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:56.400
that sometimes, you guys, it is God's timing.

634
00:41:56.400 --> 00:41:57.320
And he does get it.

635
00:41:57.320 --> 00:41:58.960
He really does get it.

636
00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:02.880
Yeah, and it really, someone asked as well for Annette.

637
00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:04.720
Someone was asking, how long were

638
00:42:04.720 --> 00:42:07.680
you in the Last Year Single program before you met Jared?

639
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:11.080
Oh, you're muted.

640
00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:17.920
It was one year.

641
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:22.080
And then how long did you all date before you got married?

642
00:42:22.080 --> 00:42:23.880
It was almost two years.

643
00:42:24.320 --> 00:42:25.560
She got married in June.

644
00:42:25.560 --> 00:42:28.280
And it would have been July was two years.

645
00:42:28.280 --> 00:42:28.880
That's awesome.

646
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:31.280
So she was in the program a year.

647
00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:32.760
Then they dated for two years.

648
00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:35.200
They're married now, just fresh in June.

649
00:42:35.200 --> 00:42:39.000
What do you all think about that question that I asked on?

650
00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:40.240
It was a really good question.

651
00:42:40.240 --> 00:42:43.320
And let's see if I can remember it now.

652
00:42:43.320 --> 00:42:46.800
How did I ask you all that question, Renee and Brian?

653
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:49.200
What other things did we have to see the action?

654
00:42:49.200 --> 00:42:51.640
Yes, thank you.

655
00:42:51.640 --> 00:42:56.840
Were the actions spoke even louder than the words spoke?

656
00:42:56.840 --> 00:43:00.800
Yeah, so Jared is not a man of many words.

657
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:03.800
And I'm pretty wordy.

658
00:43:03.800 --> 00:43:09.840
So his consistency was what really helped.

659
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:14.400
I dealt a lot with fear of rejection.

660
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:19.040
And yeah, I just had a lot of trust issues.

661
00:43:19.040 --> 00:43:24.640
And just seeing his consistency over and over,

662
00:43:24.640 --> 00:43:28.840
he never ran away from me, even with hard conversations.

663
00:43:28.840 --> 00:43:32.800
And he would continue to be there.

664
00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:33.760
So this is one thing.

665
00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:35.760
It was pretty early on our dating.

666
00:43:35.760 --> 00:43:38.080
And we had been texting.

667
00:43:38.080 --> 00:43:41.480
And he said, hey, I'm going out with some guys tonight.

668
00:43:41.480 --> 00:43:44.600
And if I don't text back, you know where I'm at.

669
00:43:44.600 --> 00:43:46.640
And I was like, whoa.

670
00:43:46.640 --> 00:43:49.280
He wouldn't have had to necessarily tell me that.

671
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:51.920
But that was actually huge for me in the whole trust

672
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:54.920
and just being like, he's very upfront.

673
00:43:54.920 --> 00:43:57.120
Like just, yeah.

674
00:43:57.120 --> 00:44:01.520
And he's always been that way and still is.

675
00:44:01.520 --> 00:44:07.760
And then there was, so after we got engaged, the kids and I

676
00:44:07.760 --> 00:44:10.760
was like about three months, I guess, before we got married.

677
00:44:10.760 --> 00:44:13.360
We moved into the place that we were going to live after we

678
00:44:13.360 --> 00:44:14.560
got married.

679
00:44:14.560 --> 00:44:17.480
And it was like I had just had surgery the week before.

680
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:21.400
And there was just a lot going at that time.

681
00:44:21.400 --> 00:44:23.960
And I could tell it was stressful

682
00:44:23.960 --> 00:44:25.320
moving all of our stuff in.

683
00:44:25.320 --> 00:44:29.320
And anyways, I was like, you know what?

684
00:44:29.320 --> 00:44:30.760
Is he going to pull away?

685
00:44:30.760 --> 00:44:33.400
Because this is really a lot going on right now.

686
00:44:33.400 --> 00:44:35.920
Is he going to, what's he going to do?

687
00:44:35.920 --> 00:44:38.720
I thought I knew we were getting married.

688
00:44:38.720 --> 00:44:40.040
But it was still, it was a lot.

689
00:44:40.040 --> 00:44:42.920
And I could tell it was stressful for him too.

690
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:45.280
And I was going to get some dinner on.

691
00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:46.720
And he was in the living room.

692
00:44:46.720 --> 00:44:48.720
And I found myself just starting to cry.

693
00:44:48.720 --> 00:44:51.400
It was like so much emotion.

694
00:44:51.400 --> 00:44:54.200
And I thought, oh, I don't think I'm going to try not to let him

695
00:44:54.200 --> 00:44:57.600
know that I'm feeling a lot of this emotion right now.

696
00:44:57.600 --> 00:44:59.440
And I heard him go upstairs.

697
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.800
He comes back down and he had gotten my daughter's purity ring, and he had put on a black shirt

698
00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:11.880
that he had worn that Sunday morning, and he came into the kitchen and he knelt on the

699
00:45:11.880 --> 00:45:16.600
floor, and he held the ring up, he's like, will you marry me?

700
00:45:16.600 --> 00:45:21.800
Like again, he's like, like basically saying, I'm here for you no matter what.

701
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:22.800
And that was just huge.

702
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:28.600
Again, like another, like, he's not going to leave me, I can trust this man, I can totally

703
00:45:28.600 --> 00:45:29.600
trust him.

704
00:45:29.600 --> 00:45:33.600
And so yeah, I don't know if that answers your question, but yeah.

705
00:45:33.600 --> 00:45:34.960
It totally does.

706
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:43.000
And Jared, man, way to go on that huge, you know, I wrote down, as Annette was sharing,

707
00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:46.920
what it made me think of is what we know a lot of people, people face, they're afraid

708
00:45:46.920 --> 00:45:52.400
that the other shoe is going to drop, they're waiting, subconsciously afraid, and, and you

709
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:57.360
all, hey, guess what, the enemy tries to convince you of that even after you're married.

710
00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:03.960
I can remember at one point telling Brian, like, I had just had a really bad day.

711
00:46:03.960 --> 00:46:08.800
And just not I was just wasn't myself and talked to him about that.

712
00:46:08.800 --> 00:46:16.480
And, and I was I wasn't like mean to him, but I just wasn't my normal Bethany self.

713
00:46:16.480 --> 00:46:24.280
And I can remember thinking, yeah, he probably regrets, like marrying me.

714
00:46:24.280 --> 00:46:26.880
That's just how I felt on the inside.

715
00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:32.000
And, you know, when I was talking to him, he's like, Bethany, everybody has a bad day.

716
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:37.600
Like he was just, it was like, I was the best Bethany that you know, like, it was like that

717
00:46:37.600 --> 00:46:40.000
didn't even happen.

718
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.280
And I just remember like, you know, how like, not that I have the Grinch heart, but this

719
00:46:44.280 --> 00:46:46.760
is what what image is coming to my mind right now.

720
00:46:46.760 --> 00:46:50.760
But you know how the Grinch his heart, like the more that people loved him, the more his

721
00:46:50.760 --> 00:46:52.440
heart was growing.

722
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:59.600
That's how it feels sometimes, like, when somebody that is so honest and kind and good

723
00:46:59.600 --> 00:47:03.640
loves you in a way that you haven't been loved before.

724
00:47:03.640 --> 00:47:08.480
Your heart just is like, oh my gosh, like, love is good.

725
00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:11.200
Love is real, this can happen.

726
00:47:11.200 --> 00:47:15.080
And so I just want to encourage all of you that, you know, really struggle with always

727
00:47:15.080 --> 00:47:20.920
waiting for the other shoe to drop, that God may come in and just really redefine your

728
00:47:20.920 --> 00:47:26.240
whole relationship and show you, hey, that person is going to love you on your good days,

729
00:47:26.240 --> 00:47:30.800
and they're going to love you on your hard, bad days, whatever you want to call them,

730
00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:32.360
and everything in between.

731
00:47:32.360 --> 00:47:34.600
And so I just wanted to point that out.

732
00:47:34.600 --> 00:47:37.160
I just really love that you did that.

733
00:47:37.160 --> 00:47:41.120
And you really validate her on every level in that moment.

734
00:47:41.120 --> 00:47:45.480
From my perspective, I do want to invite my hubby into the conversation here.

735
00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:46.680
He's been waiting.

736
00:47:46.680 --> 00:47:48.180
Do you have any questions?

737
00:47:48.180 --> 00:47:49.480
Not to put you on the spot.

738
00:47:49.480 --> 00:47:52.720
Anything that you want to ask the couples, and I see some people putting some stuff in

739
00:47:52.720 --> 00:47:55.720
the chat too, but I did want to open it up to you.

740
00:47:55.720 --> 00:47:58.800
Or if you want to make a joke, you all know my hubby loves jokes.

741
00:47:58.800 --> 00:48:02.200
You know, whatever, whatever you would like to do.

742
00:48:02.200 --> 00:48:09.240
No, I think, I always think it's fascinating when we, when we're dating, sometimes we feel

743
00:48:09.240 --> 00:48:10.840
we kind of have to have it all together.

744
00:48:10.840 --> 00:48:17.440
But the reality is, once you kind of start in the relationship and get deeper in and

745
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:23.080
even married, you start realizing that new stuff comes up that maybe you didn't realize

746
00:48:23.080 --> 00:48:25.240
was there while you were in that early dating phase.

747
00:48:25.240 --> 00:48:31.000
So like, what, what challenges are you guys going through now that you're working through

748
00:48:31.000 --> 00:48:34.320
as kind of a established couple or married?

749
00:48:34.320 --> 00:48:37.560
Like what does that, what does that look like for you guys?

750
00:48:37.560 --> 00:48:40.960
Maybe something that wasn't even on your radar when you were dating in the early stages.

751
00:48:48.160 --> 00:48:50.160
Jared and Annette, if you want to go first.

752
00:49:02.400 --> 00:49:12.040
So for me, I think just learning to not be so quick to jump to conclusions on things,

753
00:49:12.040 --> 00:49:17.080
because Jared is not a man of many words, when he does say something, it holds weight

754
00:49:17.120 --> 00:49:18.120
and it holds water.

755
00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:22.840
But I'm like already on to the second or third thing sometimes.

756
00:49:23.120 --> 00:49:26.200
And so for me, it's good to just scale back.

757
00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:31.840
And like, there's been a couple of times in our relationship since we're married, I was

758
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:33.520
pretty sure I was right on something.

759
00:49:34.040 --> 00:49:35.480
But guess what? I wasn't.

760
00:49:38.080 --> 00:49:38.960
And he was.

761
00:49:40.160 --> 00:49:45.960
And yeah, it was one time we were going to see some friends and I was like quickly put

762
00:49:45.960 --> 00:49:49.160
in the address and he's like, I don't think that's right.

763
00:49:49.160 --> 00:49:50.760
And I'm like, oh, yes, it's right.

764
00:49:50.760 --> 00:49:55.720
It's right. I think he probably doesn't really know, you know, I know where I'm going

765
00:49:55.720 --> 00:49:59.280
here. And we were way out of the way.

766
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.520
And I was like, you know what Annette, just stop.

767
00:50:02.520 --> 00:50:05.160
You don't always know everything.

768
00:50:05.160 --> 00:50:08.180
Like he's got some really good stuff there.

769
00:50:08.180 --> 00:50:11.360
Like, so yeah, that's something I've had to learn

770
00:50:11.360 --> 00:50:15.760
is like scaling back and trusting his lead once again,

771
00:50:15.760 --> 00:50:17.720
just like I can trust him.

772
00:50:17.720 --> 00:50:21.680
Like he knows, he has some really good things to say.

773
00:50:21.680 --> 00:50:24.440
So, or he's right a lot.

774
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:27.680
So yeah.

775
00:50:28.680 --> 00:50:30.640
That was really great.

776
00:50:30.640 --> 00:50:33.080
Jared, did you have something?

777
00:50:33.080 --> 00:50:35.840
Not that you had to, I just didn't wanna pass it over.

778
00:50:37.360 --> 00:50:38.200
I don't know.

779
00:50:38.200 --> 00:50:39.440
I mean, I guess I could say,

780
00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:43.880
maybe I'll just put in a little two cents,

781
00:50:43.880 --> 00:50:48.480
like about the, you know, how like my, what's it called?

782
00:50:49.480 --> 00:50:52.480
My personality is to pull away

783
00:50:52.480 --> 00:50:55.880
and I'm working on the opposite.

784
00:50:55.920 --> 00:50:59.120
It's still, I mean, of course, yeah.

785
00:50:59.120 --> 00:51:03.120
It's a, it can sometimes be a little bit of a struggle,

786
00:51:03.120 --> 00:51:07.840
but like I'm like working, I'm working on that

787
00:51:07.840 --> 00:51:11.840
and like actively, I guess actively working on that,

788
00:51:11.840 --> 00:51:12.680
I guess.

789
00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:17.040
And like, we're learning each other, I guess you might say.

790
00:51:17.040 --> 00:51:20.680
It's like, we're learning how to work together

791
00:51:20.680 --> 00:51:24.360
as a married couple better.

792
00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:28.120
And even asking good questions, like even with the kids,

793
00:51:28.120 --> 00:51:30.600
I have seen him really pursue

794
00:51:30.600 --> 00:51:34.600
and like think of good questions to ask them as, you know,

795
00:51:34.600 --> 00:51:37.200
he has to push himself out there a little bit more,

796
00:51:37.200 --> 00:51:38.920
but that's one thing that I love about him

797
00:51:38.920 --> 00:51:40.240
is he's willing to learn.

798
00:51:40.240 --> 00:51:42.360
And that was one thing I really prayed about

799
00:51:42.360 --> 00:51:44.880
is someone who's willing to grow and learn.

800
00:51:44.880 --> 00:51:47.000
And he's never had kids

801
00:51:47.000 --> 00:51:50.080
and being thrown into a family with teenagers,

802
00:51:50.080 --> 00:51:52.040
he's done exceptionally well.

803
00:51:52.200 --> 00:51:54.120
And he's, I've seen him put effort

804
00:51:54.120 --> 00:51:56.120
into like asking them good questions.

805
00:51:56.120 --> 00:51:59.240
And even for myself and Simbas also helped,

806
00:51:59.240 --> 00:52:00.640
I think with that too, so.

807
00:52:04.480 --> 00:52:07.760
For us, so one of the, it's, these are silly things,

808
00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:10.000
but they weren't silly, right?

809
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:13.160
I had to learn that my calendar is no longer just mine.

810
00:52:13.160 --> 00:52:15.280
So we share all of our calendars.

811
00:52:15.280 --> 00:52:18.920
Like I have a school calendar, a chaplain calendar,

812
00:52:18.920 --> 00:52:20.040
last year single calendars.

813
00:52:20.040 --> 00:52:22.680
Like I have four calendars and so I share all of them

814
00:52:22.680 --> 00:52:25.680
and I'm obsessed with my calendar bookings.

815
00:52:25.680 --> 00:52:28.200
He said, I'm the most organized, disorganized person

816
00:52:28.200 --> 00:52:30.560
he's ever met in his life.

817
00:52:30.560 --> 00:52:32.360
So that's probably one of the things he would say

818
00:52:32.360 --> 00:52:34.200
is that he's been having to figure out.

819
00:52:34.200 --> 00:52:36.800
But I was talking to one of my girlfriends

820
00:52:36.800 --> 00:52:38.080
and I'm like, oh, we can't do that.

821
00:52:38.080 --> 00:52:39.120
We have small group.

822
00:52:39.120 --> 00:52:41.640
And he didn't, he waited until she was gone.

823
00:52:41.640 --> 00:52:44.120
And he was like, I'm sorry,

824
00:52:44.120 --> 00:52:46.120
we have a small group that we're going to Tuesday night.

825
00:52:46.120 --> 00:52:47.240
When did we talk about this?

826
00:52:47.240 --> 00:52:49.880
I'm like, oh, it's on the calendar.

827
00:52:50.840 --> 00:52:52.920
I was like, well, if you want to get stuff on the calendar,

828
00:52:52.920 --> 00:52:54.080
just put it on the calendar.

829
00:52:54.080 --> 00:52:56.760
And he's like, okay, but maybe we could talk about things

830
00:52:56.760 --> 00:52:59.080
before we put them on the calendar.

831
00:52:59.080 --> 00:53:01.800
And it like, so I have to give that up.

832
00:53:01.800 --> 00:53:04.880
I have to give up that I don't just get to put stuff

833
00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:06.480
on the calendar because I want to do them.

834
00:53:06.480 --> 00:53:07.840
Even if there's a blank spot,

835
00:53:07.840 --> 00:53:09.560
I'm like, well, but there's a blank spot.

836
00:53:09.560 --> 00:53:11.320
Why can't I put something on the calendar?

837
00:53:11.320 --> 00:53:12.600
So that was the first one.

838
00:53:13.520 --> 00:53:14.560
And then this sounds silly,

839
00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:18.040
but Brian is moving into my tiny she shed

840
00:53:18.080 --> 00:53:21.040
and I've literally given up half my wardrobe.

841
00:53:21.040 --> 00:53:23.120
I'm selling half my furniture

842
00:53:24.160 --> 00:53:26.200
because we're keeping the better furniture

843
00:53:26.200 --> 00:53:29.000
and some of his stuff's newer and it served me well.

844
00:53:29.000 --> 00:53:32.640
And just giving up half this stuff, you guys is like,

845
00:53:32.640 --> 00:53:36.400
but it's been freeing and it's been freeing to do it.

846
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:40.000
But this stuff that I own, like I furnished this place.

847
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:41.960
Like, it's like, it's gorgeous.

848
00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:43.880
And I'm like, but it's my place

849
00:53:43.880 --> 00:53:46.000
and I have to make it look like our place.

850
00:53:46.040 --> 00:53:48.560
So that's been something that's been harder for me

851
00:53:48.560 --> 00:53:50.840
to give up than I thought it would be.

852
00:53:50.840 --> 00:53:53.720
And then the other thing I'm continuing to work on

853
00:53:53.720 --> 00:53:57.080
is I like to win arguments.

854
00:53:57.080 --> 00:53:59.720
And Brian keeps saying,

855
00:53:59.720 --> 00:54:01.760
we're on the same side of an argument.

856
00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:03.520
Like we're not against each other.

857
00:54:03.520 --> 00:54:05.800
And like, I get annoyed at him sometimes

858
00:54:05.800 --> 00:54:07.840
over the dumbest things probably.

859
00:54:07.840 --> 00:54:09.840
And I can't stay mad at him.

860
00:54:09.840 --> 00:54:12.680
Like, I want to be like righteously mad

861
00:54:12.680 --> 00:54:14.520
until he figures it out and he's like,

862
00:54:14.520 --> 00:54:16.080
hey, you know, you really were right.

863
00:54:16.080 --> 00:54:18.040
Okay, then I could stop being mad at you.

864
00:54:18.040 --> 00:54:20.440
But like, I can't anymore because like, I just,

865
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:22.800
I'm like, that's just not a hill I want to die on.

866
00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:26.920
And so I'm learning that we can be okay and move on

867
00:54:26.920 --> 00:54:28.840
even if we're not in agreement.

868
00:54:28.840 --> 00:54:31.000
Like, he's like, well, this is how I saw it.

869
00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:32.520
And I'm like, okay, well, this is how I saw it.

870
00:54:32.520 --> 00:54:34.160
Well, okay, we both saw it differently.

871
00:54:34.160 --> 00:54:35.920
And that's okay too.

872
00:54:35.920 --> 00:54:37.360
Like we can respect each other

873
00:54:37.360 --> 00:54:39.760
and maybe modify how we do it differently in the future.

874
00:54:39.760 --> 00:54:41.440
But so those were the three for me.

875
00:54:41.440 --> 00:54:42.360
Anything for you?

876
00:54:42.400 --> 00:54:45.000
No, so to kind of elaborate on that a little bit

877
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:48.560
is that we have those conversations afterwards

878
00:54:48.560 --> 00:54:52.000
to talk about, okay, so this was my perception.

879
00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:53.040
This was your perception.

880
00:54:53.040 --> 00:54:58.040
And I think the hardest thing for both of us was,

881
00:54:58.120 --> 00:55:00.160
or is the fact that she is.

882
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.560
an external processor, and I'm an internal processor, and she

883
00:55:04.560 --> 00:55:09.120
will, like, she'll throw 1000 things at you. And I like, and

884
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:12.480
I just have to sit there and I just have to think about it. And

885
00:55:12.480 --> 00:55:19.800
then my silence does not sit well. But, but, you know, she

886
00:55:19.800 --> 00:55:24.520
had, but then she goes, but so but she also has had to tell me

887
00:55:24.520 --> 00:55:28.760
that I have to say that I've at least acknowledged what she

888
00:55:28.760 --> 00:55:32.760
said, because I would just not say anything. And so then that

889
00:55:32.760 --> 00:55:36.760
would make her not so very happy. But I but you know, the

890
00:55:36.760 --> 00:55:41.600
point then becomes really, it's like, okay, you know what, I

891
00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:44.760
have all of this information. Now I've got to process it. And

892
00:55:44.760 --> 00:55:49.200
can we table this now? And read, you know, readjourn in the

893
00:55:49.240 --> 00:55:52.360
morning, or, you know, an hour later, or whatever, they give me

894
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:55.640
some opportunity to process things and do some things. And

895
00:55:55.640 --> 00:55:58.680
so I think that's the hardest thing that we have working on

896
00:55:58.680 --> 00:56:05.280
right now. But yeah, I came into the relationship. And I

897
00:56:05.280 --> 00:56:07.560
told her and I said, you know, there's going to be times when

898
00:56:07.560 --> 00:56:10.600
we disagree, there's going to be issues and problems and

899
00:56:10.600 --> 00:56:14.120
concerns. But the number one thing is that I want you to

900
00:56:14.120 --> 00:56:17.600
remember, and I want me to remember is it's not me against

901
00:56:17.600 --> 00:56:23.480
you. It is us against the issue. And that's the whole key, in all

902
00:56:23.480 --> 00:56:24.160
honesty.

903
00:56:24.840 --> 00:56:25.160
Yeah.

904
00:56:26.920 --> 00:56:30.080
Another, I got a question, if I'm heading in the right

905
00:56:30.080 --> 00:56:33.960
direction. Before this, I used to think that marriage and

906
00:56:33.960 --> 00:56:37.080
getting a relationship is an aging rat race. I just turned

907
00:56:37.080 --> 00:56:41.280
into 37. I started my late 30s. I was saying it was an aging

908
00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:44.280
rat race, I want to get done and I have to put myself out there

909
00:56:44.320 --> 00:56:46.960
lower my standards. And hopefully she'd fit into my

910
00:56:46.960 --> 00:56:50.600
dream life. And hopefully I get my hopefully get my way

911
00:56:50.600 --> 00:56:55.400
sometimes. But now it isn't. And I think of it marriages,

912
00:56:55.440 --> 00:56:57.920
look, I can marry I will be married and have make it an

913
00:56:57.920 --> 00:57:02.240
achievement. Look what I can do. But really, that's not really

914
00:57:02.240 --> 00:57:04.720
what the more older I get, the more I figure that's not going

915
00:57:04.720 --> 00:57:08.520
to happen. The more I figure out there's it may be good and bad

916
00:57:08.520 --> 00:57:11.400
things in relationship, open to it always been open to the

917
00:57:11.400 --> 00:57:14.520
challenge. But now I realized that there's going to be more

918
00:57:14.520 --> 00:57:18.080
compromise and changing everything than having the

919
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:19.520
happily ever after.

920
00:57:20.040 --> 00:57:24.120
Yeah, so Hunter, we do have to grow and change. And we have to

921
00:57:24.120 --> 00:57:27.480
understand I saw some ladies in the chat just like, Hey, I don't

922
00:57:27.480 --> 00:57:31.120
want it to be a several years. Here's the reality. Some of you

923
00:57:31.120 --> 00:57:34.200
it might, it might be a few years, because there might be

924
00:57:34.200 --> 00:57:38.040
some things God's trying to do in you to prepare you, just like

925
00:57:38.040 --> 00:57:41.480
Renee and Brian, they were talking about. And I said this

926
00:57:41.480 --> 00:57:47.680
when I met my Brian, if I had met him years before, I did. I

927
00:57:47.720 --> 00:57:51.160
don't know that I would have swiped to respond to him.

928
00:57:51.200 --> 00:57:55.680
Honestly, I don't know that I would have been able to even

929
00:57:56.080 --> 00:58:00.240
respond to him in ways that he needed. And in order for our

930
00:58:00.240 --> 00:58:04.120
relationship to grow, like I was a totally different person by

931
00:58:04.120 --> 00:58:08.800
the time I met Brian. And so for those of you that you're, you're

932
00:58:08.800 --> 00:58:13.000
just kind of in that place where, you know, you're, you're

933
00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:18.520
not wanting to wait anymore. I get it. Like I really do. But

934
00:58:18.600 --> 00:58:22.160
let's really ask the Lord, what's driving that heart

935
00:58:22.160 --> 00:58:27.080
posture? Because is it that you actually believe that God's not

936
00:58:27.080 --> 00:58:29.760
going to come through for you, which goes back to the trust

937
00:58:29.760 --> 00:58:33.480
factor that I was talking about earlier, not only is there a

938
00:58:33.480 --> 00:58:37.360
trust factor and trusting our spirit mate, there's a massive

939
00:58:37.360 --> 00:58:42.560
trust factor in in trusting that God is good, and that he has

940
00:58:42.560 --> 00:58:46.800
your best interest at heart. And all he's trying to do every

941
00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:50.040
single day is lead us into the fullness of his promise for us

942
00:58:50.080 --> 00:58:56.880
in every area. But God loves us so much, that he will not give

943
00:58:56.880 --> 00:59:00.680
us something that will crush us or that we will mishandle. I

944
00:59:00.680 --> 00:59:03.960
just believe that with all my heart, the hindsight that I have

945
00:59:03.960 --> 00:59:07.960
now, you know, and the things that I've learned, absolutely, I

946
00:59:07.960 --> 00:59:12.360
think just we have to keep growing. And, you know, again,

947
00:59:12.360 --> 00:59:15.440
if you're in the place of you're feeling discouraged, we do

948
00:59:15.440 --> 00:59:19.760
understand. But don't give up because God has something in

949
00:59:19.760 --> 00:59:23.800
store for you. But it has to be that you choose to believe that

950
00:59:23.800 --> 00:59:26.640
that's the starting point. And then Brian, my Brian Cooper,

951
00:59:26.640 --> 00:59:27.520
were you gonna say something?

952
00:59:27.840 --> 00:59:30.080
Yeah, I just want to add kind of build on top of that, too. I

953
00:59:30.080 --> 00:59:32.800
remember, while I didn't go through the hard work, I went

954
00:59:32.800 --> 00:59:35.960
through a phase where I took about six years to work on

955
00:59:35.960 --> 00:59:39.640
myself. And there were times where, you know, I was tempted

956
00:59:39.640 --> 00:59:42.320
to, like, you know, just really get out there and date and just

957
00:59:42.320 --> 00:59:44.520
find someone because I was lonely. But I think the thing

958
00:59:44.520 --> 00:59:49.160
for me, I was married previously. And I remember being

959
00:59:49.160 --> 00:59:54.560
married, and being miserable. And remember the feeling that I

960
00:59:54.560 --> 00:59:58.720
would rather be single and low and feel the loneliness than be

961
00:59:58.920 --> 01:00:00.080
married and lonely.

962
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
So, for me, that was motivation to, I need to find the right person.

963
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:09.880
So I think there's always a temptation just to be in a relationship, to find someone,

964
01:00:09.880 --> 01:00:12.920
just to be in that marital status.

965
01:00:12.920 --> 01:00:17.080
But the reality is, I remember being married and miserable, and I was happier being single

966
01:00:17.080 --> 01:00:23.000
and alone, waiting for the right person, in this case, Bethany, to come, than to simply

967
01:00:23.000 --> 01:00:24.000
find a status.

968
01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:28.360
So I would just say, if you're going through that, just remember, it is better to wait

969
01:00:28.360 --> 01:00:34.400
to find the right one, with the right relationship, with a healthy relationship, than to find

970
01:00:34.400 --> 01:00:40.480
the wrong one, and think, wow, I'm still kind of miserable, you know, so just some encouragement.

971
01:00:40.480 --> 01:00:46.160
I think sometimes it does, I waited six years, you know, to find Bethany, and glad I did,

972
01:00:46.160 --> 01:00:50.720
you know, and we both talk like, this is our, this is the best, these are the best days

973
01:00:50.720 --> 01:00:52.440
of my life.

974
01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:54.400
And it was because I waited.

975
01:00:54.400 --> 01:00:57.820
So just add my way, same there, Bethany.

976
01:00:57.820 --> 01:01:03.260
And I just want to jump in and just say, amen, to all of that, like you guys, like

977
01:01:03.260 --> 01:01:07.740
the one thing that Jackie always says to us, too, is not just sit and wait, like, you know,

978
01:01:07.740 --> 01:01:12.220
I was doing seminary, I was working out, I was going out with my friends, I was enjoying

979
01:01:12.220 --> 01:01:17.100
my family, like, I used to hate going home to my nieces and nephews and my siblings,

980
01:01:17.100 --> 01:01:20.660
because it was always so obvious what they had and what I didn't have.

981
01:01:20.660 --> 01:01:23.300
But then after my dad died, suddenly, I'm like, I'm not doing that.

982
01:01:23.300 --> 01:01:27.700
I'm not going to not live and not love my family and my friends.

983
01:01:27.700 --> 01:01:28.700
They're in front of me.

984
01:01:28.700 --> 01:01:34.420
So I made sure that I just kept loving the things that were in my life and growing those

985
01:01:34.420 --> 01:01:39.700
things, trusting that this and I will tell you, I could have made, I bet you we all could

986
01:01:39.700 --> 01:01:45.140
be married, we could be dating some schmo, schmoette, that we could have made work.

987
01:01:45.140 --> 01:01:47.420
And you know, we'd be miserable.

988
01:01:47.420 --> 01:01:48.980
And he truly is my best friend.

989
01:01:48.980 --> 01:01:49.980
He would lay down his life.

990
01:01:49.980 --> 01:01:54.060
I mean, like, I was sick yesterday, and like, I didn't return one of his text messages.

991
01:01:54.060 --> 01:01:58.540
And my last message was, I'm having chest pains, man was at my house in 20 minutes.

992
01:01:58.540 --> 01:02:02.380
He's an ICU nurse, like, you know, so he was like, I don't like this.

993
01:02:02.380 --> 01:02:04.380
And so like, that's what you want to wait for.

994
01:02:04.380 --> 01:02:11.460
So like, don't wait badly, wait, well, wait, well, that's just my encouragement to you.

995
01:02:12.460 --> 01:02:19.500
Yeah, and like, um, maybe turn turn your waiting into prayers.

996
01:02:19.500 --> 01:02:21.420
And like, I totally agree with you, Renee.

997
01:02:21.420 --> 01:02:26.820
And I'm like, you know, like, I was in it.

998
01:02:26.820 --> 01:02:32.020
I kind of, I don't know if I should say, but I kind of feel like I've my whole life I've

999
01:02:32.020 --> 01:02:36.620
been searching for a wife in a way, but not really, I've been still living my life.

1000
01:02:36.620 --> 01:02:39.700
But um, you know, I did date some people here and there.

1001
01:02:39.700 --> 01:02:48.700
And like, like I said, I was in a nine year relationship that but yeah, like, um, I didn't

1002
01:02:48.700 --> 01:02:52.020
find a net till I was 42 years old.

1003
01:02:52.020 --> 01:02:57.700
And like, I would not trade a net for anything like she's the absolutely best amazing, most

1004
01:02:57.700 --> 01:03:05.620
amazing ever, like, so I would wait 42 years again, like, like, any like, with the jump

1005
01:03:05.620 --> 01:03:06.620
of a heartbeat.

1006
01:03:06.620 --> 01:03:10.580
Like, I would wait 42 years all over again, just to just to have a night.

1007
01:03:10.580 --> 01:03:13.580
So

1008
01:03:13.580 --> 01:03:15.500
there you have it, people.

1009
01:03:15.500 --> 01:03:19.460
I mean, come on.

1010
01:03:19.460 --> 01:03:20.460
This is so good.

1011
01:03:20.460 --> 01:03:23.540
I hope this is encouraging your hearts tonight there.

1012
01:03:23.540 --> 01:03:27.580
There's just so much that God has for all of you.

1013
01:03:27.580 --> 01:03:32.860
It's it's believing before it comes, you know, call those things that are not as though they

1014
01:03:32.860 --> 01:03:40.060
are and waiting and standing and not backing down from those things.

1015
01:03:40.060 --> 01:03:44.820
I do want to ask a couple questions, because I know both of our couples have blended families.

1016
01:03:44.820 --> 01:03:45.820
Okay.

1017
01:03:45.820 --> 01:03:48.820
I do want to draw that out a little bit more.

1018
01:03:48.820 --> 01:03:50.580
And both couples have experienced divorce.

1019
01:03:50.580 --> 01:03:54.380
So if you feel like even if there's anything, not that there has to be, but if there's anything

1020
01:03:54.380 --> 01:03:58.740
that you've had to navigate with x's as well, that would maybe be good to pull into the

1021
01:03:58.740 --> 01:04:01.860
conversation.

1022
01:04:01.860 --> 01:04:06.180
But I would like to start with the blended family part, the kids first.

1023
01:04:06.180 --> 01:04:12.620
And so Jared and Annette, I know, Annette, if I remember correctly, you have two kiddos.

1024
01:04:12.620 --> 01:04:17.260
Jared, you didn't have any children coming into the marriage, correct?

1025
01:04:17.260 --> 01:04:18.260
Right.

1026
01:04:18.260 --> 01:04:25.500
And so what is so Annette, from the mom's perspective, what is something that you have

1027
01:04:25.500 --> 01:04:33.780
had to shift in, in order to make room for Jared to come in and be a part of your blended

1028
01:04:33.780 --> 01:04:34.780
family?

1029
01:04:34.780 --> 01:04:43.420
I'm trying to think how I would have wanted to answer that, because it has been somewhat

1030
01:04:43.420 --> 01:04:44.420
challenging.

1031
01:04:44.420 --> 01:04:52.900
I'm very busy at work, you know, six day week and navigating like, you know, wanting to

1032
01:04:52.900 --> 01:04:57.940
spend time with the kids and then, you know, making sure I spend time, have time for him.

1033
01:04:57.940 --> 01:05:00.020
That was a little bit of an adjustment.

1034
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.000
But here again, he was very understanding

1035
01:05:04.000 --> 01:05:05.720
and he wasn't demanding.

1036
01:05:05.720 --> 01:05:08.780
So I knew that I need to make sure

1037
01:05:08.780 --> 01:05:10.180
that I carved out time for him

1038
01:05:10.180 --> 01:05:12.720
because quality time is one of his love languages.

1039
01:05:13.840 --> 01:05:17.240
So sometimes I have to require like maybe less sleep

1040
01:05:17.240 --> 01:05:21.000
or I was getting in the habit of just like,

1041
01:05:21.000 --> 01:05:22.720
putting the kids to bed or whatever

1042
01:05:22.720 --> 01:05:25.560
and then just going and chilling.

1043
01:05:25.560 --> 01:05:30.200
But maybe some of my chill time was now Jared's time.

1044
01:05:31.880 --> 01:05:33.840
And it can still be that way a little bit,

1045
01:05:33.840 --> 01:05:37.480
but like, okay, so now being married,

1046
01:05:37.480 --> 01:05:40.000
I worked, there's like a couple of evenings that I work

1047
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:43.480
and Jared knows that for me, when I come home,

1048
01:05:43.480 --> 01:05:46.400
like I love the kitchen cleaned up and the floor swept.

1049
01:05:46.400 --> 01:05:48.520
That's two things that mean a lot to me

1050
01:05:48.520 --> 01:05:52.400
so that I can just give time to the kids and to him.

1051
01:05:52.400 --> 01:05:55.000
And so he has stepped right in, like he works,

1052
01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:59.080
he's done with work by 3.30, he works from home.

1053
01:05:59.080 --> 01:06:01.720
So in the evenings I'm not here,

1054
01:06:01.720 --> 01:06:05.280
they have like make the dinner and he helps with that

1055
01:06:05.280 --> 01:06:06.120
and then they clean up

1056
01:06:06.120 --> 01:06:09.000
and he knows that's very important to me.

1057
01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:12.480
And so like, yeah, that has helped for us to be able

1058
01:06:12.480 --> 01:06:16.520
to just give time to him and time to the kids.

1059
01:06:16.520 --> 01:06:19.920
And he has told me, he's like, you really have done well

1060
01:06:19.920 --> 01:06:22.920
in meeting my needs too.

1061
01:06:22.920 --> 01:06:25.080
Cause you know, I asked like, how's it going or whatever,

1062
01:06:25.080 --> 01:06:28.360
how's, how are you feeling coming in to this family?

1063
01:06:28.360 --> 01:06:30.640
And does that answer your question?

1064
01:06:31.600 --> 01:06:32.440
Yeah, it does.

1065
01:06:32.440 --> 01:06:33.440
That was great.

1066
01:06:33.440 --> 01:06:37.040
And I love the, like the realistic, you know,

1067
01:06:37.040 --> 01:06:40.680
just the fact of not only, you know,

1068
01:06:40.680 --> 01:06:43.760
giving time to your kids, but making that space and time

1069
01:06:43.760 --> 01:06:47.000
and how sometimes that might be a shift in the way

1070
01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:49.160
we used to just chill and watch a movie

1071
01:06:49.160 --> 01:06:51.220
or whatever it is that we would do.

1072
01:06:51.260 --> 01:06:55.260
But also in regards to what you told Jared,

1073
01:06:55.260 --> 01:06:58.340
what would help you be able to come home

1074
01:06:58.340 --> 01:07:00.060
and just be able to spend time with you.

1075
01:07:00.060 --> 01:07:01.380
And not only did you tell him,

1076
01:07:01.380 --> 01:07:05.720
but he listened and became a teammate with you.

1077
01:07:05.720 --> 01:07:08.220
I feel like that's really huge in what I hear you saying.

1078
01:07:08.220 --> 01:07:10.540
So then Jared, from your perspective,

1079
01:07:11.540 --> 01:07:15.980
what is something that maybe God has taught you

1080
01:07:15.980 --> 01:07:20.980
or grown in you regarding coming into a blended family?

1081
01:07:22.220 --> 01:07:24.900
I'm sure there's a bunch of things,

1082
01:07:24.900 --> 01:07:26.620
but what comes to mind first?

1083
01:07:32.500 --> 01:07:34.580
Okay, well, I guess something I've had to work on,

1084
01:07:34.580 --> 01:07:36.660
which she kind of touched on previously,

1085
01:07:36.660 --> 01:07:40.500
but it was like, kind of like coming up with questions

1086
01:07:40.500 --> 01:07:45.500
to ask the kids and like, just, yeah.

1087
01:07:46.500 --> 01:07:49.420
And of course, like, you know, obvious things too.

1088
01:07:49.420 --> 01:07:53.820
You also, you have to be like present and like be,

1089
01:07:55.860 --> 01:07:56.700
what's the other word?

1090
01:07:56.700 --> 01:07:59.380
I can't think of the other word, but yeah.

1091
01:07:59.380 --> 01:08:01.900
Intentional, be intentional, yeah.

1092
01:08:01.900 --> 01:08:03.420
So, but yeah.

1093
01:08:05.700 --> 01:08:08.100
Yeah, I think the biggest thing, I don't know.

1094
01:08:08.100 --> 01:08:09.620
Maybe the biggest thing is just coming up

1095
01:08:09.620 --> 01:08:12.220
with questions to ask maybe, I don't know.

1096
01:08:12.220 --> 01:08:13.060
That's good.

1097
01:08:13.060 --> 01:08:14.460
That's a great answer.

1098
01:08:14.460 --> 01:08:16.819
And I think too, you know,

1099
01:08:17.779 --> 01:08:21.180
not having kids and coming into relationships,

1100
01:08:21.180 --> 01:08:23.100
like I don't have bio kids,

1101
01:08:23.100 --> 01:08:25.979
but I was married to someone before that had a son.

1102
01:08:25.979 --> 01:08:28.500
And then I dated someone that had two daughters

1103
01:08:28.500 --> 01:08:30.140
and a lot of the people in the community know

1104
01:08:30.140 --> 01:08:31.660
I have two spiritual daughters.

1105
01:08:31.660 --> 01:08:34.420
And so coming into relationships

1106
01:08:34.420 --> 01:08:38.380
and the children aren't yours, but you're, you know,

1107
01:08:38.380 --> 01:08:40.420
learning how to make connection with them.

1108
01:08:40.420 --> 01:08:42.939
And it depends on what the ages are too.

1109
01:08:42.939 --> 01:08:45.580
Littles, like when I came into Dylan's life,

1110
01:08:45.580 --> 01:08:46.580
which is my stepson.

1111
01:08:47.340 --> 01:08:48.620
I mean, he was a baby, you know?

1112
01:08:48.620 --> 01:08:51.540
I mean, all I had to do was love him

1113
01:08:51.540 --> 01:08:54.020
and hold him and care for him and things.

1114
01:08:54.020 --> 01:08:55.180
Not that it was always easy,

1115
01:08:55.180 --> 01:08:59.500
but just that was kind of like an instant thing.

1116
01:08:59.500 --> 01:09:02.899
With the girls, they were 10 and eight, you know?

1117
01:09:02.899 --> 01:09:05.260
They had to learn how to trust me.

1118
01:09:05.260 --> 01:09:07.380
And so I love that, yeah,

1119
01:09:07.380 --> 01:09:09.819
God's teaching you how to be really intentional there.

1120
01:09:09.819 --> 01:09:12.660
And that, again, I hear you guys working as a team,

1121
01:09:12.660 --> 01:09:13.859
you know, and that's saying,

1122
01:09:13.859 --> 01:09:15.779
hey, this is something that might help you

1123
01:09:15.779 --> 01:09:17.420
build connection with them.

1124
01:09:17.420 --> 01:09:19.020
And then you guys are following through.

1125
01:09:19.020 --> 01:09:21.020
So I just, I hear team a lot

1126
01:09:21.020 --> 01:09:23.460
in all of the couples here tonight.

1127
01:09:23.460 --> 01:09:25.020
It's such, so refreshing.

1128
01:09:25.020 --> 01:09:26.660
I know our people that are here tonight

1129
01:09:26.660 --> 01:09:28.300
are chiming in saying that.

1130
01:09:28.300 --> 01:09:30.740
Renee and Brian, what do you all think?

1131
01:09:30.740 --> 01:09:33.540
And tell us the ages of Brian,

1132
01:09:33.540 --> 01:09:36.420
your kids, and then the grandkids.

1133
01:09:36.420 --> 01:09:40.819
So I have four children, three biological children,

1134
01:09:40.819 --> 01:09:43.460
one bonus daughter from my second marriage.

1135
01:09:43.500 --> 01:09:46.220
And my oldest is 30.

1136
01:09:46.220 --> 01:09:47.740
My youngest is 25.

1137
01:09:47.740 --> 01:09:49.220
And so the rest are in between.

1138
01:09:49.220 --> 01:09:51.939
My bonus daughter will be 29.

1139
01:09:51.939 --> 01:09:52.899
She's currently 28.

1140
01:09:52.899 --> 01:09:54.180
She'll be 29 in December.

1141
01:09:54.180 --> 01:09:57.020
And my son will be 27 next month.

1142
01:09:57.980 --> 01:10:00.020
And so the grandkids are eight and-

1143
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.120
five so my kids being grown my oldest is married she has her husband's in the army they're over

1144
01:10:07.120 --> 01:10:14.880
in germany so we didn't have that we were far away from the kids so we had to be intentional

1145
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:19.760
which is kind of interesting and i wanted to bring this up earlier is that you know picking

1146
01:10:19.760 --> 01:10:26.000
that word at the beginning of the year renee had told me earlier that her word for the 2025 was

1147
01:10:26.000 --> 01:10:31.600
intentional and i used that when we talked about dating and whatever not knowing that that was her

1148
01:10:31.600 --> 01:10:37.520
word and so and and it's been the same way you know we we schedule face time with the kids we

1149
01:10:37.520 --> 01:10:43.040
do the marco polo i don't know if you're familiar with that but we marco polo the kids we have a

1150
01:10:43.040 --> 01:10:49.040
whole family thing that we get on and we do them individually as well so um you know trying to

1151
01:10:49.040 --> 01:10:53.920
orchestrate everything to get everybody together but my grandson fell in love with her from like

1152
01:10:53.920 --> 01:11:00.720
day one um normally he's all up in my business and we went out to we went bowling and went to

1153
01:11:00.720 --> 01:11:06.240
lunch and we're sitting at lunch and like the only time he was quiet for 15 minutes he was

1154
01:11:06.240 --> 01:11:12.000
quiet because he was sitting on her lap and i'm like well what where did that come from but um

1155
01:11:12.560 --> 01:11:19.280
you know it's been they have accepted her from the beginning they are all in and uh you know

1156
01:11:19.280 --> 01:11:25.920
and she's been able to connect with them and even give them parts of in the wedding so that

1157
01:11:25.920 --> 01:11:30.400
they'll have they'll have that connection as well so i was pretty excited about that where you got

1158
01:11:30.400 --> 01:11:36.640
the ad yeah so and and this may be a good question for me to answer because i will say this um one of

1159
01:11:36.640 --> 01:11:44.480
my what i thought was non-negotiables is i wanted to be able to be a parent and um my my most serious

1160
01:11:44.480 --> 01:11:49.760
relationship about nine years ago i have two spiritual kids from that too and nine years later

1161
01:11:49.760 --> 01:11:54.800
i still talk to them like they've actually met brian that's how much they're still a part of my

1162
01:11:54.800 --> 01:12:00.560
life so when he has a bonus daughter that makes sense because hayley and max are still in my story

1163
01:12:00.560 --> 01:12:05.520
and getting i mean i i said hayley is it weird that i want you to come to my wedding and she's

1164
01:12:05.520 --> 01:12:14.400
like no you know and so they are older and i have met them um but they're four hours away and one

1165
01:12:14.400 --> 01:12:19.520
is in germany and so have i had to release that it's not going to look like it did with those

1166
01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:24.080
spiritual kids it's not going to look the same because they're grown adults and they're long

1167
01:12:24.080 --> 01:12:29.520
distance and so i'm learning to just build the relationship be grateful for what we have

1168
01:12:29.520 --> 01:12:34.480
um the grandkids are going to be little ring bearer and flower girl although i did tell him

1169
01:12:34.480 --> 01:12:39.600
if he's pulling a tantrum his butt's out of there in five hot minutes i've got zero patience for

1170
01:12:39.600 --> 01:12:45.520
kids screaming in them in my wedding just saying not that this has been an issue at all but i'm

1171
01:12:45.520 --> 01:12:51.600
saying um and then but i will tell you this i was worried that his kids were going to be like

1172
01:12:51.600 --> 01:12:56.880
really dad you're getting married again i mean it's a third marriage so i was i had a lot of

1173
01:12:56.880 --> 01:13:02.400
and i had a lot of worry about that and you know because we haven't known each other that long but

1174
01:13:03.120 --> 01:13:09.120
they literally have been amazing from the get-go and his daughter like she's i mean his are the

1175
01:13:09.120 --> 01:13:14.880
ones in germany she's literally flying in from germany for two days to come be at the wedding

1176
01:13:14.880 --> 01:13:21.520
and i felt like that said a lot to me and so so that's just something i've had to release a little

1177
01:13:21.520 --> 01:13:26.000
bit is enjoy the relationship that it is and it's it's going to grow and kind of like what bethany

1178
01:13:26.000 --> 01:13:33.040
were saying um blending adult children has its own different things and so it's not going to be the

1179
01:13:33.040 --> 01:13:38.160
same as having a blended where they're going to see me every day and so i have to be willing to

1180
01:13:38.160 --> 01:13:43.440
let those relationships build over time where i feel like the teamwork has really come in is my

1181
01:13:43.440 --> 01:13:50.720
sweet dog who is my child um he has taken on literally 50 of the share um and with me being

1182
01:13:50.720 --> 01:13:55.280
in school i feel like me being in school right now is my child and i'm an amazing cook and he's

1183
01:13:55.280 --> 01:14:01.120
cooked more dinners than i've cooked um simply because i don't have time and um so that's how

1184
01:14:01.120 --> 01:14:06.960
we've been kind of sharing some of the kid and kid duties that our kids i love this and i love that

1185
01:14:06.960 --> 01:14:12.400
you brought your dog into it because that is real too i mean hey you gotta care for all the

1186
01:14:12.400 --> 01:14:19.680
all the kids and and some of you all you know do have animals um some of you as jackie has said too

1187
01:14:19.680 --> 01:14:23.120
not that we're saying you have to just get rid of your animals but some of you you know

1188
01:14:23.680 --> 01:14:28.720
like not that i ever was going to get a cat again i don't know if i ever would have but

1189
01:14:28.720 --> 01:14:34.080
my husband is allergic to cats so cats are now off the table that will not be in our house

1190
01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:40.800
we will not have cats in our house but you know just that we're willing to shift you all

1191
01:14:40.800 --> 01:14:45.840
that we're willing to shift um that we're willing to pick up a load and be a team

1192
01:14:45.840 --> 01:14:52.160
with our spirit mate and for some of you you know as we were chatting earlier i want you just to be

1193
01:14:52.160 --> 01:14:58.960
really praying about you know we talk a lot about making room i want you to be praying about what

1194
01:14:58.960 --> 01:14:59.840
does what is the

1195
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.480
room that you need to make in the next few months to prepare for your spirit mate.

1196
01:15:05.480 --> 01:15:09.280
You know, that's been a core theme tonight, really.

1197
01:15:09.280 --> 01:15:14.280
Whether it's, you know, some of you all have already done the clean the closet out, maybe

1198
01:15:14.280 --> 01:15:17.240
you cleaned a drawer out, but maybe there's something else.

1199
01:15:17.240 --> 01:15:21.620
Maybe there's even an area in your heart that you still need to make room for that person.

1200
01:15:21.620 --> 01:15:26.200
You know, we hear, I can't tell you how many times I see things that you all say, I'm too

1201
01:15:26.200 --> 01:15:27.840
busy to date.

1202
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:32.080
Well, how are you going to meet your spirit mate then?

1203
01:15:32.080 --> 01:15:38.280
So maybe you need to clear out some schedule stuff, you know, and pray about that a little

1204
01:15:38.280 --> 01:15:39.280
bit.

1205
01:15:39.280 --> 01:15:42.320
So just wanted to put that note out there just so I don't forget, because those are

1206
01:15:42.320 --> 01:15:47.160
some things I've been seeing in our groups kind of coming up quite frequently.

1207
01:15:47.160 --> 01:15:51.420
And I get it, you all, you know, we're a working society.

1208
01:15:51.420 --> 01:15:52.960
People are busy, busy, busy.

1209
01:15:52.960 --> 01:15:59.840
We're filling our calendars to the max, but let's make room for the new in this next season.

1210
01:15:59.840 --> 01:16:05.040
I do want to ask a little fun question here, too.

1211
01:16:05.040 --> 01:16:13.540
I want to hear from you all what has been one of your favorite things, maybe a memory

1212
01:16:13.540 --> 01:16:20.340
that you all have created together, something, you know, tradition, maybe, or a fun adventure

1213
01:16:20.340 --> 01:16:21.340
you went on.

1214
01:16:21.720 --> 01:16:25.820
I'm not sure anything you want, really, but just something fun that you all have now started

1215
01:16:25.820 --> 01:16:29.740
doing together that means something to you.

1216
01:16:29.740 --> 01:16:38.460
And I'll go to Jared and Annette first.

1217
01:16:38.460 --> 01:16:46.260
So Wednesday nights, my kids have a youth group, and that's our night to go on a date.

1218
01:16:46.260 --> 01:16:47.260
And I look forward to it.

1219
01:16:47.260 --> 01:16:48.260
Same here.

1220
01:16:48.260 --> 01:16:54.860
So, and we're, we started dating through the alphabet two years ago, you all, and we're

1221
01:16:54.860 --> 01:17:01.420
still trying to finish it up because I'm determined we're going to finish it up.

1222
01:17:01.420 --> 01:17:06.540
So we're getting close to the end, but so we've been kind of trying to like, yeah, finish

1223
01:17:06.540 --> 01:17:07.540
that up too.

1224
01:17:07.540 --> 01:17:08.540
So that's been really fun.

1225
01:17:08.540 --> 01:17:11.600
So tell, tell people here dating through the alphabet.

1226
01:17:11.600 --> 01:17:13.180
Not everybody knows what that is.

1227
01:17:13.180 --> 01:17:15.060
Can you tell us what it is?

1228
01:17:15.060 --> 01:17:22.060
So take the letter of the alphabet and do a date, like, so for A, we did, we went to

1229
01:17:22.060 --> 01:17:23.060
Applebee's.

1230
01:17:23.060 --> 01:17:24.060
Let me think.

1231
01:17:24.060 --> 01:17:30.060
What was one of the, for K, we, we got kites and the kids and I, and Jared, we went, flew

1232
01:17:30.060 --> 01:17:31.060
these kites.

1233
01:17:31.060 --> 01:17:36.060
Some of the, some of the dates the kids joined us on, some we just did us.

1234
01:17:36.060 --> 01:17:42.460
I, we went ice skating and I want to get to Z because I want to do a zipline or go to

1235
01:17:42.460 --> 01:17:43.460
the zoo.

1236
01:17:44.460 --> 01:17:46.460
That'd be, we want to go to some waterfalls.

1237
01:17:46.460 --> 01:17:51.460
That's something we really wanted to do good to some really neat waterfalls, but yeah.

1238
01:17:51.460 --> 01:17:57.460
So that's kind of, and it's been fun and we kept record and we took pictures and yeah,

1239
01:17:57.460 --> 01:17:58.460
on each day.

1240
01:17:58.460 --> 01:18:01.460
And so it's just been kind of a fun thing.

1241
01:18:01.460 --> 01:18:02.460
I love it.

1242
01:18:02.460 --> 01:18:04.460
Y'all are making memories in incredible ways.

1243
01:18:04.460 --> 01:18:05.460
That's so fun.

1244
01:18:05.460 --> 01:18:09.460
And a lot of people are loving that idea and I had heard of it before, but I have only

1245
01:18:09.460 --> 01:18:10.460
heard of it one other time.

1246
01:18:10.460 --> 01:18:13.460
So I couldn't fully remember and I didn't want to explain it.

1247
01:18:13.460 --> 01:18:14.460
It was so much better to hear it from you all.

1248
01:18:14.460 --> 01:18:17.460
Cause with the ideas of things you all have done, that's so cool.

1249
01:18:17.460 --> 01:18:20.460
Renee and Brian, what do you all for you?

1250
01:18:20.460 --> 01:18:23.460
Why are you going to let me go first?

1251
01:18:23.460 --> 01:18:26.460
You know, we knew you're going to ask this question and we were both like, I don't think

1252
01:18:26.460 --> 01:18:28.460
we're fun people, but I will say this.

1253
01:18:28.460 --> 01:18:32.460
We make ourselves laugh every single day.

1254
01:18:32.460 --> 01:18:33.460
I have never laughed.

1255
01:18:33.460 --> 01:18:34.460
Okay.

1256
01:18:34.460 --> 01:18:36.460
Y'all, you need to know, like he's Dr.

1257
01:18:37.460 --> 01:18:42.460
And he wears suits and like, when he's not smiling, he kind of has RBF and it's a little

1258
01:18:42.460 --> 01:18:43.460
scary.

1259
01:18:43.460 --> 01:18:48.460
And so, but like everybody who sees him in real life with me, he's always smiling and

1260
01:18:48.460 --> 01:18:49.460
he's always laughing.

1261
01:18:49.460 --> 01:18:52.460
And we just laugh at the dumbest things.

1262
01:18:52.460 --> 01:18:53.460
Our date nights.

1263
01:18:53.460 --> 01:18:54.460
I want to date the elf.

1264
01:18:54.460 --> 01:18:55.460
I'm like, I want to do that.

1265
01:18:55.460 --> 01:18:57.460
I'm like, we go to the grocery store.

1266
01:18:57.460 --> 01:19:00.460
We go to like, I mean, like we do, like I'm in school.

1267
01:19:00.460 --> 01:19:05.460
So honestly, a date night is me handing him an 18 page paper to proofread before for me,

1268
01:19:05.460 --> 01:19:06.460
like, swear to God.

1269
01:19:06.460 --> 01:19:12.460
No, but I mean, we do, we, you know, so I would say like, I think what I've really enjoyed

1270
01:19:12.460 --> 01:19:13.460
is visiting his Greek family.

1271
01:19:13.460 --> 01:19:15.460
So it's a God story.

1272
01:19:15.460 --> 01:19:19.460
He just found his biological family in the last six years.

1273
01:19:19.460 --> 01:19:22.460
And he found out he comes from a very large Greek family, did not know that part of his

1274
01:19:22.460 --> 01:19:24.460
story until six years ago.

1275
01:19:24.460 --> 01:19:26.460
And they're all going to be at the wedding.

1276
01:19:26.460 --> 01:19:31.460
And so when the Greek family met me for the July, they're like, you know, like picture

1277
01:19:31.460 --> 01:19:32.460
my big fat Greek wedding.

1278
01:19:32.460 --> 01:19:37.460
That was his family for three days, but they're like, well, do you think you can handle us?

1279
01:19:37.460 --> 01:19:41.460
I'm like, I'm like mafia girl over here.

1280
01:19:41.460 --> 01:19:42.460
Moonstruck.

1281
01:19:42.460 --> 01:19:43.460
Okay.

1282
01:19:43.460 --> 01:19:45.460
So, and so I loved being with his family.

1283
01:19:45.460 --> 01:19:47.460
He loved being with my family.

1284
01:19:47.460 --> 01:19:50.460
And so he said, you know, Renee, you know, my parents are gone.

1285
01:19:50.460 --> 01:19:53.460
I see my kids not on the normal holiday schedule.

1286
01:19:53.460 --> 01:19:56.460
So we will always be with family, you know, for the holidays.

1287
01:19:56.460 --> 01:19:59.460
And he is willing to fly home to Connecticut to do.

1288
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.960
do that with me. And so I know we're going to have a lot of family memories with his

1289
01:20:04.960 --> 01:20:12.480
kids, his extended family, and with mine. I love this. So we do, we do, we have plans.

1290
01:20:12.480 --> 01:20:18.100
So I have thought forward, I got to wait until she graduated. But I don't know if you've

1291
01:20:18.100 --> 01:20:22.720
seen it on Facebook, but there's a company, I think it's called Rio, that they have these

1292
01:20:22.720 --> 01:20:31.080
50 cards, they're scratch off cards for each state. And so we got Tennessee, Kentucky,

1293
01:20:31.080 --> 01:20:36.920
and Indiana. And so with the plan is we're going to start scratching them off and going

1294
01:20:36.920 --> 01:20:41.920
on those dates. And so it's like different cities in each state. And it's pretty cool.

1295
01:20:41.920 --> 01:20:47.920
Plus, I like photography. So I try to go to waterfalls to take pictures. So we want to

1296
01:20:47.920 --> 01:20:54.400
do that too. I love it. We is that the cards we have Brian, I think my Brian, yeah, we,

1297
01:20:54.400 --> 01:20:59.320
we did start doing that in Florida. And they are pretty cool. We found a place pop stroke,

1298
01:20:59.320 --> 01:21:03.880
literally, we didn't even know it was like a couple blocks away. But we found it through

1299
01:21:03.880 --> 01:21:09.600
this box of this card thing was kind of funny. But yeah, really fun ideas. Okay, so someone

1300
01:21:09.600 --> 01:21:15.320
asked and I thought, Oh, this would be good for us. People want to know how did you gentlemen

1301
01:21:15.320 --> 01:21:20.800
pop the question? Where did the engagement happen? How did you do it? The ladies and

1302
01:21:20.800 --> 01:21:25.160
the gentlemen want to know Jared, you go ahead and go first.

1303
01:21:25.160 --> 01:21:32.440
All right. Um, and that might have a slightly different story. But, um, anyway, it's the

1304
01:21:32.440 --> 01:21:43.280
same. It's the same. But, uh, so I, um, basically, I had her like, I took her on like a, like

1305
01:21:43.280 --> 01:21:51.240
a horse, a horse, buggy, or wagon, almost like a wagon, but kind of like a horse buggy

1306
01:21:51.240 --> 01:21:58.360
wagon thing. And then I had a photographer there and pop the question. Like I the guy

1307
01:21:58.360 --> 01:22:06.360
was the guy that was pulling the driving the horses, I guess he pulled over on a side on

1308
01:22:06.360 --> 01:22:12.920
the side of the road. And I asked her not to be my wife.

1309
01:22:12.920 --> 01:22:20.160
It was beautiful. It was like in the fall. And so the leaves are gorgeous. And then yeah,

1310
01:22:20.160 --> 01:22:24.880
I didn't know what it was. I kind of had an idea, but it wasn't for sure. Yeah, that was

1311
01:22:24.880 --> 01:22:25.880
really awesome.

1312
01:22:25.880 --> 01:22:32.960
I love it. We have we have romantic gentlemen here tonight because I I know what Renee is

1313
01:22:32.960 --> 01:22:37.400
Brian did, and I'm going to, I'm going to let him tell it though, but it was pretty

1314
01:22:37.400 --> 01:22:44.960
exciting to see. So he, he was very, um, tricky. We'll just say that he was tricky, but also

1315
01:22:44.960 --> 01:22:52.320
impatient. Anyway. Um, so to start, we were going to Connecticut, um, and we were going

1316
01:22:52.320 --> 01:22:59.000
up there for her family reunion. And I'd already had planned. I'd already had the ring picked

1317
01:22:59.000 --> 01:23:05.800
out and everything was all set. I had bought tickets to go to dinner. I bought tickets

1318
01:23:05.800 --> 01:23:10.720
to go to the top of the empire state building. I had everything all arranged. Her sister

1319
01:23:10.720 --> 01:23:15.840
was coming with us and she was going to be the photographer. So it was all set up. Well,

1320
01:23:15.840 --> 01:23:23.400
then things started falling apart. I mean, literally the kids. Yes. But I'm getting there.

1321
01:23:23.400 --> 01:23:28.920
So we're, we're, we're planning this and then things happen. And Michelle's like, well,

1322
01:23:28.920 --> 01:23:33.680
I may not be able to go and da da da da. Anyway, I needed surgery. Her mom fell, broke her arm.

1323
01:23:33.680 --> 01:23:38.360
Anyway. So we get all this and we're going, we're on the plane. She has no idea. She's

1324
01:23:38.360 --> 01:23:46.000
thinking maybe, but she had a rule that the rule was I had to ask all of the kids first.

1325
01:23:46.000 --> 01:23:50.680
And if I didn't ask all of the kids, then basically it was off the table. So I had to

1326
01:23:50.680 --> 01:23:54.880
tell a little, a white lie. And we were on the airplane and we were flying to Connecticut

1327
01:23:54.880 --> 01:24:00.240
and she goes, so did you talk to all the kids? I said, well, I talked to Shara and Michaela.

1328
01:24:00.240 --> 01:24:03.800
Those are my two daughters, the oldest and the youngest. I said, but I didn't talk to

1329
01:24:03.800 --> 01:24:06.760
my bonus daughter, Felicia. She goes, did you talk to Felicia? And I said, no, I haven't

1330
01:24:06.760 --> 01:24:12.200
talked to her yet. I was like, and she was like, oh, and then, so I just let it go. I

1331
01:24:12.200 --> 01:24:17.360
just dropped it. She's then thinking her brain that, well, it's not going to happen, but

1332
01:24:18.360 --> 01:24:22.680
I already had our tickets to the top of the Empire State Building. I got us express tickets

1333
01:24:22.680 --> 01:24:26.640
because I didn't know how busy it was going to be. I was trying to do this at sunset.

1334
01:24:26.640 --> 01:24:32.920
I had this whole romantic thing packed out. We get there and like, there were several

1335
01:24:32.920 --> 01:24:39.480
people up there, but to get to the top didn't take us nearly as long as I thought it would.

1336
01:24:39.480 --> 01:24:44.000
So sunset was supposed to be like at eight o'clock. It is only 630.

1337
01:24:44.160 --> 01:24:52.360
And as great as the Empire State Building is, you can only loop around so many times.

1338
01:24:52.360 --> 01:24:59.760
Right. And so here's the thing. So I kind of played it off and I had my camera and she's

1339
01:24:59.760 --> 01:25:00.040
watching.

1340
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.080
around. We're walking. So she looks around and I'm like, I'm

1341
01:25:03.080 --> 01:25:06.040
not there. Michelle's off doing her own thing, which is her

1342
01:25:06.040 --> 01:25:09.960
sister. So we're all in different areas. So I finally

1343
01:25:10.000 --> 01:25:14.120
means my way over to where she is. And I see she's looking

1344
01:25:14.120 --> 01:25:16.080
through one of those, you know, like those little machines, you

1345
01:25:16.080 --> 01:25:18.360
put the quarter in, they got the little binoculars where you can

1346
01:25:18.360 --> 01:25:21.640
see the whole city. She's like staring off into space out

1347
01:25:21.640 --> 01:25:24.840
there. I text Michelle. I'm like, Michelle, you need to come

1348
01:25:24.840 --> 01:25:27.840
over where by over where the sunset is, even though it really

1349
01:25:27.840 --> 01:25:31.560
wasn't sunset, it was still pretty high in the sky. And

1350
01:25:32.080 --> 01:25:35.640
Michelle comes over there and she goes, it's not sunset. I'm

1351
01:25:35.640 --> 01:25:40.720
like, I don't care. So I don't know how she didn't hear any of

1352
01:25:40.720 --> 01:25:44.680
that conversation, but she didn't hear it. So I get the

1353
01:25:44.680 --> 01:25:48.720
ring out, I got down on one knee, and she's still not paying

1354
01:25:48.720 --> 01:25:54.960
me any attention. I had to go up Ms. Rizzo, Ms. Rizzo. And she

1355
01:25:54.960 --> 01:25:58.360
turns around and I was like, gonna have this whole elaborate

1356
01:25:58.360 --> 01:26:01.880
speech and what blurred out of my mouth was, would you do the

1357
01:26:01.880 --> 01:26:05.880
honor of marrying me? That was it. That was like, that was my

1358
01:26:05.880 --> 01:26:11.800
big to do. And I'm like, oh, well, but of course, it was it

1359
01:26:11.800 --> 01:26:14.520
was super romantic. The sun wasn't quite there.

1360
01:26:14.520 --> 01:26:15.880
Everybody cheered.

1361
01:26:17.040 --> 01:26:20.400
And it was great. But it was great. Not exactly how I had

1362
01:26:20.400 --> 01:26:22.480
envisioned it. That's all I can say.

1363
01:26:22.560 --> 01:26:26.400
It was it was lovely. It was lovely. And so now what's cool

1364
01:26:26.400 --> 01:26:30.360
about it is, is we'll always have a place to go to it like so

1365
01:26:30.360 --> 01:26:32.880
we got an ornament from the Empire State Building, we got

1366
01:26:32.880 --> 01:26:35.800
t shirts that we're going to wear on the honeymoon. And so

1367
01:26:35.800 --> 01:26:39.440
since it's not that far from my hometown, it will always have

1368
01:26:39.440 --> 01:26:41.480
this thing that we'll get to go do it. Yes.

1369
01:26:41.880 --> 01:26:46.280
I love this. So I'm gonna just let my husband Brian quickly

1370
01:26:46.280 --> 01:26:51.680
tell about our funny engagement. And then after that, we'll go

1371
01:26:51.680 --> 01:26:55.600
ahead and start to close the night down. But so Brian, tell

1372
01:26:55.600 --> 01:27:00.000
tell the folks how ours went. It was great from my perspective.

1373
01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:02.400
But from his perspective, y'all to hear.

1374
01:27:02.480 --> 01:27:05.480
So I just say Brian, it's a stressful event, like the

1375
01:27:05.480 --> 01:27:08.080
planning and everything. I don't think people realize like this

1376
01:27:08.080 --> 01:27:12.640
is kind of kind of wild. So I waited because we both love the

1377
01:27:12.640 --> 01:27:17.920
ocean. And so we made a trip out to California. So we were in

1378
01:27:18.040 --> 01:27:22.680
Laguna Beach. And so I kind of planned this. It was a the

1379
01:27:22.680 --> 01:27:27.520
resort that we went to and we had a nice well before we had a

1380
01:27:27.520 --> 01:27:30.120
nice dinner, there was this beautiful outlook over the

1381
01:27:30.120 --> 01:27:36.200
cliffs at the montage and in Laguna Niguel. And so we get out

1382
01:27:36.200 --> 01:27:40.040
there beautiful. And I never took into the fact the public

1383
01:27:40.240 --> 01:27:45.000
walking around. And so we were out by this like gazebo area

1384
01:27:45.320 --> 01:27:49.000
overlooking the cliffs. You know, I had this ring, like in

1385
01:27:49.000 --> 01:27:52.280
my pocket, you know, and just like kind of sweating. And

1386
01:27:52.320 --> 01:27:57.240
there's this walker apparently right by this by the where we

1387
01:27:57.240 --> 01:28:00.000
were standing, there was like a little circular thing. So

1388
01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:03.560
somebody was walking by like every so I had to start timing

1389
01:28:03.560 --> 01:28:05.480
this person because it was really walk. It was like a

1390
01:28:05.480 --> 01:28:08.160
small, we kind of had to move whenever they come by. So like,

1391
01:28:08.200 --> 01:28:11.200
I'm starting to like time it. And I'm trying to think of

1392
01:28:11.200 --> 01:28:13.720
questions. It's hard to have a conversation when you're

1393
01:28:13.720 --> 01:28:17.080
planning this out, right? So you're kind of trying to have a

1394
01:28:17.080 --> 01:28:20.600
nice conversation, but I'm counting seconds. Okay, one,

1395
01:28:20.600 --> 01:28:23.720
two, like how long it takes for this person. And as soon as they

1396
01:28:23.720 --> 01:28:28.400
walk by, you know, I have a quick speech. And, you know, be

1397
01:28:28.400 --> 01:28:31.160
able to propose before they come back around. And it'd be really

1398
01:28:31.160 --> 01:28:35.600
awkward with this person right here. So it that was all going

1399
01:28:35.600 --> 01:28:38.760
through my head. But like she said, it was a much so

1400
01:28:38.760 --> 01:28:42.400
thankfully, it was a much better experience on her end. But

1401
01:28:42.560 --> 01:28:47.320
you recall, I do recall a couple times he would ask me these

1402
01:28:47.320 --> 01:28:48.840
questions. And I was like,

1403
01:28:51.240 --> 01:28:51.840
this question,

1404
01:28:52.040 --> 01:28:57.680
the window by time. Yeah, there you have huge. Yeah, there's so

1405
01:28:57.680 --> 01:29:01.080
many little bloopers. And the reason I wanted to end on this,

1406
01:29:01.080 --> 01:29:04.040
I love that. I think Tiffany Butler put that in the in the

1407
01:29:04.040 --> 01:29:08.800
chat. But it's just, you know, relationships have amazing

1408
01:29:08.800 --> 01:29:11.960
blessings in them. There's growth in them. You know, we

1409
01:29:11.960 --> 01:29:14.920
have to shift we have to learn how to grow. Remember, we're

1410
01:29:14.920 --> 01:29:18.040
surrendering the pen like completely and we're trusting

1411
01:29:18.040 --> 01:29:21.440
God with the outcome. And so I want to encourage you all again

1412
01:29:21.440 --> 01:29:26.240
just to continue to to ask the Lord, how can you make room? And

1413
01:29:26.240 --> 01:29:29.160
this next season? How can you continue to surrender the pen

1414
01:29:29.160 --> 01:29:32.560
fully to him? If there's revealings for healing happening

1415
01:29:32.560 --> 01:29:36.000
in your heart, I hope that you'll go back to the Lord use

1416
01:29:36.000 --> 01:29:39.920
that revealing for healing cycle sheet and and process that stuff

1417
01:29:39.920 --> 01:29:43.160
out because that might be another step forward that takes

1418
01:29:43.160 --> 01:29:46.080
you closer to your spirit mate. So I'm going to go ahead. And

1419
01:29:46.480 --> 01:29:49.840
Brian Cooper, will you actually pray over us to close us out

1420
01:29:49.840 --> 01:29:51.920
tonight? Absolutely.

1421
01:29:53.120 --> 01:29:55.080
Heavenly Father, I just thank you for this time that we all

1422
01:29:55.080 --> 01:29:58.000
came together. I thank you for just the fact that you're

1423
01:29:58.000 --> 01:30:00.120
walking with each one of us no matter

1424
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.640
or what our relationship status, Lord, you are with us.

1425
01:30:03.640 --> 01:30:08.480
And we are just so thankful to worship a God that loves us,

1426
01:30:08.480 --> 01:30:10.740
that's intimately involved in our lives,

1427
01:30:10.740 --> 01:30:14.080
in every season, in every part of the journey.

1428
01:30:14.080 --> 01:30:17.000
So Lord, I just pray for everyone on this call,

1429
01:30:17.000 --> 01:30:19.520
listening in, no matter what status

1430
01:30:19.520 --> 01:30:20.880
or what part of the journey in,

1431
01:30:20.880 --> 01:30:22.720
we just pray, Lord, that you would give us

1432
01:30:22.720 --> 01:30:26.000
patience, perseverance, we always need it,

1433
01:30:26.000 --> 01:30:28.240
no matter what season we are in.

1434
01:30:28.240 --> 01:30:32.840
So help us, Lord, to see your plan for our life

1435
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:34.080
and give us patience,

1436
01:30:34.080 --> 01:30:38.040
because we know your timing is so much better than ours.

1437
01:30:38.040 --> 01:30:41.640
So help us, Lord, as we continue to keep moving forward,

1438
01:30:41.640 --> 01:30:44.960
help us to not stop in our journey,

1439
01:30:44.960 --> 01:30:47.660
but to keep moving forward and keep looking

1440
01:30:47.660 --> 01:30:50.700
for the burning bush that you are waiting

1441
01:30:50.700 --> 01:30:52.520
for us to discover so that you can speak

1442
01:30:52.520 --> 01:30:54.320
deeper into our lives.

1443
01:30:54.320 --> 01:30:57.360
In your mighty name we pray, Jesus, amen.

1444
01:30:57.360 --> 01:30:59.160
Amen, amen.

1445
01:30:59.160 --> 01:31:01.240
Renee and Brian, Jared and Annette,

1446
01:31:01.240 --> 01:31:04.000
thank you so much for sharing your stories with us tonight.

1447
01:31:04.000 --> 01:31:05.200
God bless you all.

1448
01:31:05.200 --> 01:31:06.840
Have an amazing night, everyone.

1449
01:31:06.840 --> 01:31:07.680
Hey, guys.