WEBVTT

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Now I'm recording.

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Thank you, Sam. Love it.

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Awesome. Okay. So yes,

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we've got seven questions here up and running here for you ladies.

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So I'm glad that we caught the recording before we got those questions.

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So I appreciate it.

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I see a few more questions here in the chat.

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I forget how to pronounce your name already.

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I'm horrible with names.

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It's X-I-O. How do I pronounce your name? Where's she at?

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Hi, I'm Xiomara.

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Xiomara?

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Yeah.

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How do I pronounce that again?

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You can call me Xio for short.

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Xio, okay.

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To C-O-C-O-M-A-R-A.

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C-O-M-A-R-A.

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Yes.

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All right. I see your question in your chat.

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The widow I posted about went on a third date,

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didn't respond to you about going to the quinceanera.

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The party was this weekend.

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He messaged me last night and said, hi.

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I responded this morning and said the same and that was it.

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Okay. So you've been on three dates.

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Yes. There was a pause between our,

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my birthday was in July.

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We went out on our first date on my birthday.

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He brought me flowers.

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It was very nice.

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I commute to San Antonio and I live in Eagle Pass in a small town.

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So I have a friend who has hosted me in our home

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and she knows him since a long time ago.

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She's like 76 years old.

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But the reason I'm giving you this background story is that

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I had my battery break down and I didn't have anybody to help me.

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And he was out there and I asked him for help and he helped me.

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And my, yeah, it was, he even paid for my battery actually.

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Yeah. He was a total gentleman.

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He's a believer.

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But I couldn't share this with my friend

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because she immediately became like jealous of it.

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And the 60 year old friend that knows him?

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The 70, yeah, 75 year old friend.

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She was angry.

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He was, he, so on the first day, right, that he, he jump-started my car.

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I went to AutoZone.

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They checked my battery and they said my battery was fine.

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So I went back to the house.

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He was still there and I told him what had happened.

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And he said, I think your battery is the issue.

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You need to just take it to the dealership.

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And I said, you know what?

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I have to, if it doesn't start in the morning, can I call you?

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I, you know, I'll, I'll ask my friend Josie.

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So she can give me your number or, you know,

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she could text you if you could help me.

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I didn't want to be like, oh, can I have your number?

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Things, I don't know.

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But anyway, so then the next morning when I asked her

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if she could help me or reach out to him, she was,

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she made a total like anger face.

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So that was really uncomfortable.

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I didn't know what was going on.

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And she came up with a list of other people that could help me.

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And you know, oh, my niece can help you.

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Or later on when she was trying to give you someone else to come help.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Until she finally decided to give me his number.

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She goes, I'm not going to text him.

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And she gave me his number.

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And he didn't, you know, respond right away.

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But that was fine.

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And she dropped me off work.

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And on my way to work, he responded.

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And he was there by the time I got back again.

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And that's how the story went.

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But yeah, so.

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So this was all in July?

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Yeah, this was all in July.

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So he's a gentleman.

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He's got some good fruit.

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Like he's great.

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Okay, so you guys have hung out.

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Was there like a little time where you guys didn't hang out?

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Yes.

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And was it because of her?

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Or was this because?

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Yes, because he said that I'm staying with her.

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And he didn't want to cause any problems between us.

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Yeah, so he just, you know, like, let it go.

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And then I think months passed.

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And I sent him a friend request.

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And he texted me.

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He's like, I thought you had forgotten about me.

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And I said, same.

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Yeah, I don't remember exactly when this was.

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Maybe September.

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But anyway.

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So a couple of weeks ago, he was cutting her yard again, and I texted him and said,

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you're here. He goes, yeah, I was like, I can't believe that you left without saying hi.

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And again, my friend was there, I got inside the house, and I could tell she was like making the

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prolonging the conversation, so I wouldn't go outside and talk to him. You know, I, I didn't

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see him. He was in the backyard when I got there. So I just didn't want to interrupt while he was

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working. But he's like, yeah, he's like, hey, invite me to invite me to dinner. He said that

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to you. He said that to me. He's like, invite me to dinner. And I said, okay. And at the dinner,

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he was gonna pay. And I was like, well, no, it's okay. You know, he had already said invite me to

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dinner. So I, I paid. And he offered to cook for me the next time that we went out. And he did

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cook for me. He was, you know, there's no boundaries crossed or anything like that.

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You know, he still wears his wedding band. Okay. And it's been five years since he's been widowed.

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Um, yeah, so I, I asked him if he wanted to go do the quinceañera. Obviously, we've had a lot of long

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conversations initially, which, after listening to Dating 101, I heard it's a no, no.

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Yeah. Well, and those are guardrails. Like, ladies, I don't want you to think that like,

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you've made a mistake, because like, these are guardrails. It doesn't mean they're hard,

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fast rules. Okay. Every situation is going to be different. Okay. So don't beat yourself up on that.

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Okay. Okay. It's just about keeping things, again, at a pacing. The first thing I think

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we need to address is this friend. Have you and him talked about what this looks like

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as far as this friend's reaction to y'all getting to know each other?

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We talked about it. And he's like, he's like, I've never given her like, I've never flirted with her

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or he's like, what are your thoughts? He's like, do you think that we had something

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previously? We've never had anything previously. I've always been respectful. You know, I just

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know if in her heart, she has something towards me. But I've never given her a reason to. And I

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think that recently, you know, she gave him like a really big tip, like $150 tip. He didn't tell me

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it was her. But I think it was because she had some extra money. And yeah, yeah, I mean, the

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thing that's coming to my mind, and again, I'm terrible at quoting scripture. So ladies,

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please forgive me. And I'm sure there's some of you ladies in here are going to be able to help

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me out. The scripture about like, when we have like a fence with someone, like we need to take

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it to them. I think it's in Matthew. Yeah. Like, it's really important that we go to the person

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that, you know, if there's a fence being taken, like we need to go to that person.

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Yeah. Have you like, so you've watched Dating 101? Have you watched the boundaries video?

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I just watched it this this weekend. Yeah. Okay. I need to hear it again.

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Yeah, go back and rewatch the boundaries. Yeah. Healthy conflict is good.

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And I did ask her, you know, do you have, because even before I was like, do you want me to meet him

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Do you have something against me not meeting him? She said, No, no, no, not at all.

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So you brought that to her and she's saying no, but she's responding differently.

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Confront her about that. And you can do it in a kind way. It does not have to be in a way that

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you are putting her on the defense. Be like, look, I've come to thank you, Sam. 1815 Matthew 1815.

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You can come here and say, Look, I care about our friendship. I care about your feelings.

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I asked you if it would bother you if I get to know this man, you told me it didn't.

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But your actions feel like you believe otherwise. These are the behaviors that I'm seeing.

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And this is how I'm perceiving them. Is there truth behind that?

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Where do you think that comes from? Like, ask her, where do you think that comes from?

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Am I seeing this wrong? Or is this? Is it possible? I am

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and seeing something that might be there

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that maybe you're not aware of.

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I mean, there's ways at approaching a conversation

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and having confrontation in a healthy way,

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like healthy communication, healthy dialogue,

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healthy conflict.

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And I've asked you this, you've told me you don't,

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but this is still what I'm seeing.

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And I value our friendship.

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I don't want this to get in the way,

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but I also want to get to know this guy.

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Yeah, that was prior to him helping me.

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So it was sad, to me it was really sad.

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Because I didn't understand why.

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I think once you can get to that,

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my advice would be once you can get some resolve there,

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then you can kind of see where this goes.

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Because you really can't, you can't get to know someone

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if you've got this like looming person over here,

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this like, that's, I mean, that's hard.

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Right, ladies?

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Like, how can you really feel comfortable

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getting to know someone

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if you feel like there's this third person over here

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that's just like not comfortable

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with you getting to know somebody?

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You can't even really give it a real shot.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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What if she says she likes him?

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Then she's gonna have to go sort that out with him.

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Okay.

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Maybe you can introduce her to this community.

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Right, I mean?

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She swears that she's, you know,

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the love of her life was the love of her life,

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and that's it.

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And ladies, just remember, like, we can't,

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we can't force someone to get their own healing.

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We're not their savior.

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We can't.

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You know, we can love people, we can care about people,

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we can, you know, give them wisdom,

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we can encourage them, we can, you know,

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direct them in a direction

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where they can seek the help and the guidance

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that, you know, we believe that they could benefit from,

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but whether or not they decide to do that,

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that's their choice.

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And so if she's not willing to be honest with herself

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or honest with you or honest with him,

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you can't control that.

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And as long as you've done your part with a pure heart,

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that's all you can do.

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And if you've approached it in the godly biblical way

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that God's asked you to do,

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there is no, like, shame or guilt

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that you need to carry with that,

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that should get in your way.

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Okay.

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Like, you can release that.

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Okay.

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Yeah, her daughter just had surgery this morning,

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so I, probably not a good day to talk about that,

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but I will.

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Yeah, I definitely want to do that

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because I don't want to have,

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definitely, offense towards her.

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And I was actually, you know,

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praying about that this morning because, you know,

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like, I guess like every Christian, right,

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the most important thing is to walk in love

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towards people and the Lord, right?

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So thank you.

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Thank you.

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Yeah.

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So he kind of, I felt ghosted by him last week,

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and then he showed up last night.

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So.

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Yep.

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So yeah, like, and then Alexander's like,

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well, what does she do if the friend says she likes him?

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Well, then that's going to be something that she,

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that other woman, her friend,

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and the guy's going to have to sort out,

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and then the guy's going to have to kind of figure that out.

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And then she's going to kind of have to,

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like, then she can come back to a community here.

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There's probably going to be more details at that point,

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you know?

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And then again, it's speaking the Lord,

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and we can take the next step.

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I definitely don't want it to be a triangle, you know,

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because remember I stay there three days a week,

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you know, and basically I'm very thankful

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for her to host me.

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Yeah, exactly.

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So that's what I'm saying.

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Like, go to her first, see what happens.

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If she does have feelings for him,

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again, that's something that she's going to have to sort out

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with him.

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It's important that he probably knows,

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and then y'all can go from there.

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But we don't want to put the cart before the horse,

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one thing at a time.

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We want to do one resolve at a time.

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Because we could see here,

256
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what if this person does this?

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And what if this?

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what if this and then yeah you're right that's when we can get into our anxious and anxious thoughts

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other things yeah you're right one of the other things that she tells me often is uh oh um my

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i didn't go looking for love you know love came looking for me and i was like oh but didn't you

261
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have a friend who who said hey i know this guy who's single and that's how you like hooked up

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and um i don't even know why i i just feel like there's not like real encouragement also behind

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that um you know her kids have been on dating apps i'm not in the dating app because i freaked

264
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out about it like i still have that phobia so yeah and again like you know we have to remember

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to guard our hearts too because everybody has wounds and everybody has you know stories of

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dating and relationships and you know they're gonna come with advice and you know wisdom that

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might not be from a healthy healed place so i mean it sounds like you know that could be from

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where she's at not saying that she doesn't have wisdom um and that there's not things that she's

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able to share with you but we also have to be guarding our hearts as well as what we're

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allowing to come in as well and you know this could be an opportunity for you to share with

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her about this program that you're in and the and the healing that you've received and maybe

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it's something that you can offer her an invitation to receive as well yeah i don't think she'll

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like everyone has free will no i i unfortunately see that's where i'm already lacking love because

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i no longer trust her uh based on previous experience even if i wanted to i don't feel like

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i feel like i'm gonna be a little judged or criticized we can unpack you know more if we

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need to but let's just start there keep us posted you know post as many times in the app as you need

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to okay we'll walk along this with you okay thank you so much for taking my my question i

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didn't even expect it thank you always you got it all right karen i see yours in the chat i'm

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gonna get to some of my ladies that had their hands up and then i'll come back to you karen

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if you are on if you can just throw your hand up so i do not forget about your question in the chat

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um because sometimes the chat can get clogged and i will forget so if you throw your hand up

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your avatar hand if you can um and kelly she's got she's gonna come back on the replay that's

283
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good um if you go to react karen i think you might be at work um you can always put your hand up that

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way i'm i won't call on you i'll just scroll back to the thing if you can't um unmute all right sam

285
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what's what you got for us today okay you always keep me like you keep me in check like

286
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you need to be like my little secretary that helps me out here

287
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now what i'm gonna do when you move to phase three i don't know

288
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i don't plan on going anytime soon anyways

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i'm still i'm halfway through the boundaries video and that's all i have left and i'm like

290
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you don't have to leave right away so i've gone i've done five of the seven

291
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so far and i was sort of taking a little break you know after just discovering some things

292
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and this weekend i had a um we celebrated the festival of boots in our community with my friend

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group um so they said bring your guitar i brought my guitar i helped lead worship with this other

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guy named joshua um he he and i just flowed so well in worship the whole time and like afterwards

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we just like stood in this like super long hug for the longest time afterwards like there was

296
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just so much like connection there but through like our our purpose and passion of worship

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you know and so um i guess this is more like heartwork for me because i don't know if there's

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actually anything there or not you know like on his end romantically but like i can feel myself

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like dreaming about this and i'm a little bit afraid that it's like

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to that point of i just want to hear your perspective on it okay the first thing yeah um

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that's a spiritual intimacy

302
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and that's okay like that happens when we're in worship like there is a spiritual intimacy there

303
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:56.140
yeah okay there's nothing wrong with having spiritual intimacy with people

304
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okay but that's kind of that tug of what you're feeling

305
00:20:00.980 --> 00:20:06.880
Okay, and it's, that's where that confusion is coming, like, because you do, you desire

306
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this intimacy, because with your husband, you are, you're going to have all of these

307
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levels of intimacy with the husband, with the spirit mate, okay?

308
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And so it's what you desire.

309
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So again, like you have this spiritual intimacy with someone that you've just had this worship

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with and it's there and it's beautiful.

311
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But now you're like, what is this?

312
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Right?

313
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I don't know what to make of this.

314
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I'm confused now.

315
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So we don't want you operating in confusion.

316
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No.

317
00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:42.580
Okay, so now, is this someone that you see often?

318
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I have never seen him before.

319
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Okay.

320
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I don't know, like, what church he goes to.

321
00:20:47.700 --> 00:20:51.800
I know that he, it's apparent he's involved in the community that I'm a part of.

322
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Okay.

323
00:20:52.300 --> 00:20:54.980
You know, but he's actually, we talked a little bit.

324
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He's only been saved for like three years.

325
00:20:57.640 --> 00:20:58.080
Okay.

326
00:20:59.660 --> 00:21:04.260
Definitely, like, I've been asking the Lord, like, well, the Lord spoke to me a long time

327
00:21:04.260 --> 00:21:06.540
ago that whoever my husband is, he's going to be a worshiper.

328
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I don't know exactly what that means, but like, I was hoping for someone who was also

329
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musically inclined.

330
00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:13.560
Yeah.

331
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One thing that I can say, because you're telling me like, now you're kind of thinking like,

332
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oh, could this be, could this, you know, okay.

333
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:24.560
Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but we want to keep you guarded here.

334
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Protected.

335
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So my, my suggestion, my encouragement would be is do a soul tie release.

336
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337
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Release this guy as a soul tie, but you can still be open to Lord.

338
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If this is someone that you do intend for me to get to know on a level, I want you to

339
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open doors where doors need to be open.

340
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Lord, I trust you to confirm this for me.

341
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Lord, show me what I need to do next.

342
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Lord, I release any spiritual soul tie with this man that you are going to direct me to

343
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who my spirit mate is.

344
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And Lord, I thank you for showing me that there are good.

345
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Godly worshiping men out there.

346
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Cause this is what I desire in someone like, hold, oh, I got goosebumps on this one.

347
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Like what a blessing you desire a worshiper and God is showing you that those men exist.

348
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Sam, whether this man is your spirit mate or not, God sees you and he's showing you,

349
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he has a spirit mate for you.

350
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And you don't have to be confused.

351
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God is not a God of confusion.

352
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Amen.

353
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Yes.

354
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So release that break the soul tie, any spiritual intimacy that, you know,

355
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could create any confusion.

356
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We're going to break that off.

357
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So good.

358
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Going to give that back to God.

359
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You are God defended.

360
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You are God protected.

361
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He has got good, good things for you.

362
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Amen.

363
00:23:21.360 --> 00:23:25.480
And you've just confirmed like prophetic words that have been spoken over me about open doors.

364
00:23:26.180 --> 00:23:26.620
Okay.

365
00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:30.120
Literally someone gave me a prophetic word about like, you're going to,

366
00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:34.340
there's going to be relationships that the Lord's going to turn up the volume on some

367
00:23:34.340 --> 00:23:35.920
turned down the volume on others.

368
00:23:36.040 --> 00:23:38.420
And he's already been speaking to me about releasing music,

369
00:23:38.500 --> 00:23:40.740
but I don't have any production experience.

370
00:23:40.840 --> 00:23:45.280
And this guy, like, that's his passion is to do basically what we did on Saturday,

371
00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:46.920
but record it and release it.

372
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And I'm like, okay, I'm there.

373
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He's gathering.

374
00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:49.940
You're just in a lot.

375
00:23:49.940 --> 00:23:50.220
Yeah.

376
00:23:50.220 --> 00:23:51.640
You're going in alignment again.

377
00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:55.480
Like, that's the thing is like, you're on the right path.

378
00:23:55.500 --> 00:23:57.280
We just never know what it looks like.

379
00:23:57.280 --> 00:23:57.660
Right.

380
00:23:58.440 --> 00:23:58.920
Right.

381
00:23:58.920 --> 00:23:59.340
You know?

382
00:23:59.340 --> 00:24:03.020
And again, that's when that's when the enemy wants to come in and confuse us because yes,

383
00:24:03.020 --> 00:24:07.160
he has a spirit mate for you, but he also has these things that God wants to do.

384
00:24:07.300 --> 00:24:08.880
Like it's that just destiny DNA.

385
00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:11.420
Like Jackie talked about this a lot.

386
00:24:11.420 --> 00:24:15.460
When I joined this program, destiny DNA, but ladies,

387
00:24:15.500 --> 00:24:18.980
when you can get a hold of what it is that God has purposed you for.

388
00:24:19.100 --> 00:24:20.980
And if you walk in that, guess what?

389
00:24:21.120 --> 00:24:26.100
The spirit mate is, is partnered with that really is.

390
00:24:26.120 --> 00:24:31.200
I remember when I was praying for my husband, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to leave my job.

391
00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:32.080
I was a waitress.

392
00:24:32.080 --> 00:24:32.340
Okay.

393
00:24:32.340 --> 00:24:33.500
I'd been a school teacher.

394
00:24:33.760 --> 00:24:36.660
And then I left that job because I was a single mom.

395
00:24:37.100 --> 00:24:39.800
And I was like being a school teacher and a single mom.

396
00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:42.460
Like, this is, I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

397
00:24:43.200 --> 00:24:46.540
I went back to waitressing because it was a lot easier to manage.

398
00:24:46.700 --> 00:24:49.500
I made a lot more money doing that than teaching, unfortunately.

399
00:24:50.620 --> 00:24:53.280
And I'm like, maybe I'm not supposed to be waitressing.

400
00:24:53.900 --> 00:24:56.920
And God's like, no, you're right where you need to be.

401
00:24:57.620 --> 00:24:59.980
You and your husband are going to have business.

402
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.600
together, and I thought it was crazy. I was like, that's not my thing. Ladies, I stuck with that

403
00:25:06.600 --> 00:25:12.900
job, but I kept doubting. I'm like, maybe I'm not supposed to. Ladies, my marriage is my ministry.

404
00:25:14.140 --> 00:25:21.660
My family is my ministry. Jackie gave me a prophetic word when I first joined this program

405
00:25:21.820 --> 00:25:26.140
that the enemy stole my ministry. I never thought I was going to have a ministry.

406
00:25:26.840 --> 00:25:29.720
I still sometimes, I'm like, I don't even know what that looks like.

407
00:25:30.200 --> 00:25:34.840
I don't come from a religious background. I didn't grow up in the church,

408
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:44.740
but God has anointed me in this program. He brought me to Jackie to unleash an anointing

409
00:25:44.740 --> 00:25:51.280
for this revival of kingdom, marriage, and family. I would have never guessed

410
00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:58.240
that God put me on this path. I stayed in that job, and there are still times.

411
00:25:58.900 --> 00:26:04.080
Ladies, I'll be honest with you. I don't typically like to share this stuff. I honestly

412
00:26:04.080 --> 00:26:15.820
try to keep some of this private, but I'm in the thick of it right now. It's not bad. It's good,

413
00:26:16.980 --> 00:26:28.220
but the enemy is trying to shake me. But our assignment, God's called us to that,

414
00:26:28.360 --> 00:26:36.200
and our marriages are part of that, believe it or not. When you have a destiny DNA,

415
00:26:36.360 --> 00:26:40.700
and you stay in alignment with that, sometimes it's going to be connected to your husband,

416
00:26:40.700 --> 00:26:45.580
and sometimes it's going to be, it's all interconnected. It really is.

417
00:26:47.520 --> 00:26:54.780
So just stand firm on that truth that God has it. He's working all of these

418
00:26:55.680 --> 00:27:03.740
puzzle pieces intricately together. But she gave me a prophetic word like,

419
00:27:05.060 --> 00:27:11.160
when the enemy stole your ministry, he's going to return it to you. When the enemy stole,

420
00:27:14.560 --> 00:27:20.580
God wants you to know he's going to restore. I thought she was nuts. When she told me this,

421
00:27:20.580 --> 00:27:23.080
when she had this prophetic word to me, she told me my car was stolen.

422
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:31.340
She didn't know when I first moved to Florida, I had my car stolen. When I was sitting on this call

423
00:27:31.900 --> 00:27:39.700
with her, I had just been introduced to all this prophetic stuff. I don't know,

424
00:27:39.780 --> 00:27:42.980
if some of you might have heard this story, I think a couple of weeks ago, I might've shared

425
00:27:43.760 --> 00:27:49.840
how I didn't grow up in a prophetic church, charismatic, anything like that.

426
00:27:50.140 --> 00:27:56.420
I started having visions before I joined this community, and I thought, y'all, I had a brain

427
00:27:56.420 --> 00:28:03.580
tumor. I didn't know what it was. I joined this community, and God really started showing me,

428
00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:14.300
this is a gift. I'm kidding you. You're not sick. I was new to this whole prophetic word thing,

429
00:28:14.300 --> 00:28:22.920
and I'm like, okay, I'm on this Zoom call, right? I'm like, I don't believe this. There's no way

430
00:28:22.920 --> 00:28:29.000
God is speaking these things. No. I'm on this call for an hour, and I'm like, well,

431
00:28:29.220 --> 00:28:32.240
if they've got prophetic words for me, God, you're going to have to make this

432
00:28:32.420 --> 00:28:37.740
very apparent, because I don't know if I believe this. When Jackie's like, you had your car stolen,

433
00:28:39.660 --> 00:28:44.580
how does she know that? She's like, oh, you really did? She's like, well, I didn't mean

434
00:28:44.580 --> 00:28:49.540
literally, but sometimes it can be literally, but no, I mean it this way. Typically, a car

435
00:28:49.540 --> 00:28:58.500
represents ministry. It literally shook me, y'all. Then I had other dreams about vehicles.

436
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:06.120
On Bethany's wedding, the night of Bethany's wedding, I had a dream about a big giant SUV,

437
00:29:06.580 --> 00:29:09.460
and Jackie was in the dream, and my husband was there. I didn't see him,

438
00:29:09.840 --> 00:29:15.140
but Jackie was telling my husband, she's not ready yet. Just wait. I'm like, why would you

439
00:29:15.140 --> 00:29:23.040
send him away? God had told me my husband wasn't ready, which was true. My husband wasn't ready

440
00:29:23.160 --> 00:29:26.880
during that time, but then he was ready, and then apparently I wasn't.

441
00:29:28.060 --> 00:29:33.660
She sent him away in this dream, and I'm like, why would you do that? Because I wasn't ready.

442
00:29:33.840 --> 00:29:40.760
I wasn't ready to move. Once I released and was ready to move, that's when it all worked out.

443
00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:45.660
Now I truly believe, and then I had this opportunity to come coach you ladies in this

444
00:29:45.460 --> 00:29:53.960
program. God is just working some amazing things out for blended family and marriage and

445
00:29:54.100 --> 00:29:59.140
doing some incredible things in my life and my kids' lives. It doesn't mean that it's easy.

446
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.780
Y'all, it's hard. The enemy is on full attack, y'all.

447
00:30:04.840 --> 00:30:05.280
Thank you.

448
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:12.000
Those moments of discouragement that you ladies are feeling, just know, I get it.

449
00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:17.720
But know that this community, we're here praying for you.

450
00:30:18.620 --> 00:30:20.880
We all have to be in here praying together.

451
00:30:21.020 --> 00:30:23.260
I want to encourage you to get on those prayer calls.

452
00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:27.020
Pray for each other. Pray for us leaders.

453
00:30:27.660 --> 00:30:32.660
Please. Pray for Jackie. Pray for Bethany. Pray for me. Pray for Ebony.

454
00:30:33.780 --> 00:30:36.920
Ladies, like, the enemy is constantly at us leaders.

455
00:30:38.080 --> 00:30:39.640
He's constantly at you too.

456
00:30:41.080 --> 00:30:46.040
But guess what? Jesus died on the cross, and he's the victor.

457
00:30:48.100 --> 00:30:51.700
So as much as the enemy wants to distract us and tire us out,

458
00:30:52.220 --> 00:30:53.500
and make us think that we're defeated,

459
00:30:54.800 --> 00:30:58.820
we come together, and we say no.

460
00:31:00.380 --> 00:31:01.900
We hold on to that truth.

461
00:31:04.340 --> 00:31:05.980
Because Jesus has already won.

462
00:31:07.160 --> 00:31:08.100
Therefore, we've already won.

463
00:31:09.740 --> 00:31:13.640
And so the way we get through that is we come together, and we lift each other up.

464
00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:17.820
So that was Holy Spirit, because I wasn't even going to share any of that.

465
00:31:20.460 --> 00:31:24.420
Well, and I have to believe too that even if this is not it,

466
00:31:24.820 --> 00:31:29.980
then this is awesome, and I know that God has something better than I can ask, think, or imagine.

467
00:31:31.640 --> 00:31:36.100
So if it's not it, he is going to have something for me that's even better.

468
00:31:36.500 --> 00:31:37.340
It's even better.

469
00:31:37.780 --> 00:31:39.500
Yes. Thanks so much today.

470
00:31:39.620 --> 00:31:43.400
I don't know who posted. If you're on this call, throw it up in the chat.

471
00:31:43.400 --> 00:31:49.320
Someone had shared something about, maybe it was you, Karina.

472
00:31:49.600 --> 00:31:51.180
I don't know why. Maybe it's you.

473
00:31:52.340 --> 00:31:54.480
About trusting and letting go.

474
00:31:55.560 --> 00:32:00.320
And I was like, the thing that came into my mind, and Bethany shared this with me several times too.

475
00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:02.060
The teddy bear.

476
00:32:02.800 --> 00:32:07.420
How many of you have seen that picture of this little girl holding this teddy bear,

477
00:32:07.600 --> 00:32:10.820
and she's in front of Jesus, and she's handing it over to Jesus,

478
00:32:10.820 --> 00:32:13.760
and you can just see, she's got kind of tears in her eyes,

479
00:32:13.820 --> 00:32:19.700
and she doesn't want to give this cute little teddy bear over to Jesus.

480
00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:23.000
And he's just like, trust me.

481
00:32:23.240 --> 00:32:29.560
And she doesn't see it, but behind him, he's got this massive, giant teddy bear.

482
00:32:31.320 --> 00:32:35.120
We don't see that, but he knows.

483
00:32:37.980 --> 00:32:41.320
I know it's hard to sometimes see,

484
00:32:44.540 --> 00:32:46.880
but when we borrow the faith of each other,

485
00:32:49.320 --> 00:32:51.100
that's how we get through this.

486
00:32:51.600 --> 00:32:57.060
That's why coming to these calls, that's why being rooted in this community,

487
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:01.920
in a Bible-believing church, staying connected with each other,

488
00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:04.340
it's so important.

489
00:33:05.420 --> 00:33:07.100
Do not isolate yourself.

490
00:33:09.460 --> 00:33:11.580
Get out in community. Come here.

491
00:33:12.420 --> 00:33:13.580
Share with us in the app.

492
00:33:14.440 --> 00:33:15.480
Show up.

493
00:33:16.800 --> 00:33:20.980
Because, ladies, the enemy is going to come and attack you.

494
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:26.660
He does not want God's promises in your life.

495
00:33:26.660 --> 00:33:31.900
Because he knows if God fulfills those promises in your life,

496
00:33:32.040 --> 00:33:33.700
that means destruction for him.

497
00:33:33.960 --> 00:33:36.040
So he's going to keep you from that.

498
00:33:37.740 --> 00:33:39.040
That's what he wants.

499
00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:45.400
Y'all, that's why I literally, I'm like, two years of being married,

500
00:33:45.580 --> 00:33:47.360
and like, oh, it's such a great blessing.

501
00:33:47.420 --> 00:33:50.900
I'm like, oh, my life is going to be so much more wonderful once I get married.

502
00:33:52.140 --> 00:33:56.620
Ladies, I was on the side that you all are sitting on.

503
00:33:57.460 --> 00:34:00.580
Just so badly, if I just was married, everything would be better.

504
00:34:01.260 --> 00:34:02.360
Ladies, I was there.

505
00:34:03.060 --> 00:34:05.340
And then I met my husband, and everything was great.

506
00:34:05.380 --> 00:34:07.540
Oh, we're planning a wedding. It's going to be great.

507
00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:10.860
Y'all, the enemy came.

508
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:12.760
And he's still coming.

509
00:34:13.580 --> 00:34:15.500
I wish I could tell you it's easy.

510
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:18.219
It's not. It's not.

511
00:34:18.219 --> 00:34:20.239
Especially if you're going to be blending a family.

512
00:34:22.820 --> 00:34:23.400
It's not.

513
00:34:24.420 --> 00:34:29.880
But I will tell you, I know it's God,

514
00:34:30.500 --> 00:34:32.520
because the enemy wouldn't be working so hard.

515
00:34:33.900 --> 00:34:40.080
So it keeps me fighting, because I know God has a plan and a purpose.

516
00:34:41.219 --> 00:34:42.719
And he's got a plan and a purpose for you.

517
00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:48.000
So when you are discouraged and you feel like, what is this?

518
00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:52.659
Y'all, let that be an encouragement to you that you are on the right path,

519
00:34:53.719 --> 00:34:56.360
and that God has it for you.

520
00:34:57.220 --> 00:34:59.580
You wouldn't be discouraged if God didn't have it for you.

521
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.320
because the enemy wouldn't be trying to discourage you period.

522
00:35:06.620 --> 00:35:14.200
So let that let that amp you up ladies let that literally ignite fire in you to fight

523
00:35:15.600 --> 00:35:19.680
all right join hands with your sisters here

524
00:35:22.420 --> 00:35:24.660
don't back down

525
00:35:26.660 --> 00:35:34.380
do the uncomfortable things show up here stretch yourself make mistakes

526
00:35:34.700 --> 00:35:42.180
oh make all the mistakes ladies y'all i made so many mistakes i still make mistakes can i tell

527
00:35:42.180 --> 00:35:47.520
you all the mistakes i make with my kids daily blending a family i'm making mistakes constantly

528
00:35:50.420 --> 00:35:53.800
constantly but you know what god purposed me for these kids

529
00:35:55.600 --> 00:35:57.360
and he purposed those kids for me too

530
00:36:00.520 --> 00:36:05.280
god's got a plan and a purpose for you he's got the big giant teddy bear for you

531
00:36:06.100 --> 00:36:13.480
gotta believe that all right ladies okay i got so many so many hands up i want to make

532
00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:19.940
time for y'all so we're gonna we're gonna go through this okay all right kim kathleen

533
00:36:20.500 --> 00:36:28.540
sia um i'm gonna start with you short brief powerful okay so just uh real quick um you

534
00:36:28.540 --> 00:36:34.040
asked me to verify that i got the notification of the reschedule but when when they sent when

535
00:36:34.040 --> 00:36:41.240
reagan sent the reschedule it says um it doesn't give me the time zone so i'm still confused

536
00:36:41.240 --> 00:36:48.060
so it says it was rescheduled for friday at 12 but it doesn't say if that's my time or your time

537
00:36:48.060 --> 00:36:52.700
i'm assuming it's yours wait a second i will confirm that with you right now thank you you

538
00:36:52.700 --> 00:37:04.620
are welcome um that's 12 my time okay which will be 10 okay very good thank you okay okay i am

539
00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:09.580
i am i don't feel bad because i can't tell you how many times i've done that

540
00:37:10.300 --> 00:37:15.220
i don't even know where my brain was but um i have a phone i'm learning to use my phone calendar

541
00:37:15.220 --> 00:37:21.880
and i'm doing pretty good but um but it's still you know there are challenges but um okay so i

542
00:37:21.880 --> 00:37:28.880
just wanted to share something that i i i know that god directed me to and might be very helpful

543
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:39.560
to others and um and i know and i know there's a caution about sharing resources but it's a

544
00:37:39.560 --> 00:37:47.620
fear about um not fear more more dread that's a better word dread of online websites you know

545
00:37:47.620 --> 00:37:52.280
that because i've shared that just about all the scamming that goes on and i'm like you're wasting

546
00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:57.100
my time my time is valuable i don't even want to i don't feel like putting myself out there

547
00:37:57.100 --> 00:38:08.220
because of that but um i watched this documentary and it was it was just uh um done in may of this

548
00:38:08.220 --> 00:38:16.100
year so it's brand new or for pretty new and and it addressed the the techniques and methods

549
00:38:16.100 --> 00:38:24.040
that people use to scam online daters and it was so such good information because it helped

550
00:38:24.040 --> 00:38:28.940
alleviate some of the fears i have because i thought well if i just ask for a video call

551
00:38:28.940 --> 00:38:34.160
right away that'll knock out about half of them because they they won't respond right well what

552
00:38:34.160 --> 00:38:44.080
i found out on that documentary was that ai is so good now that even the online video calls

553
00:38:44.080 --> 00:38:50.300
they can put a face of a person on there and speak through that face and it looks like the

554
00:38:50.300 --> 00:38:57.880
person's actually talking to you yes i have seen that i will tell you that that is it's very hard

555
00:38:57.880 --> 00:39:07.700
to get those kinds of um software but it's not but it's not like yes you are right but i will say

556
00:39:07.700 --> 00:39:15.560
like we had a lady gosh it was probably maybe a year ago she actually had some discernment where

557
00:39:15.560 --> 00:39:23.060
she felt like the video was a little off right and so again just trust your yeah just trust your

558
00:39:23.060 --> 00:39:28.540
spirit discernment and be looking for other things it's why again we teach you ladies

559
00:39:28.620 --> 00:39:33.420
don't share personal information don't give out your phone number until you

560
00:39:33.420 --> 00:39:40.260
really have known them don't let them know where you live um right like there's certain like we

561
00:39:40.260 --> 00:39:45.860
want you making sure you're making safe choices but right and and one of the things that i learned

562
00:39:45.860 --> 00:39:51.600
though that i felt was super valuable was that one of the one of the experts came on and said

563
00:39:51.600 --> 00:39:59.980
if you ask them to stand up and turn around and sit back down ai cannot do that yet

564
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.120
there you go okay so it's a way it gave me a tool that I could that sort of will

565
00:40:07.120 --> 00:40:14.660
calm my dread about it because I can ask for that and even the the best systems

566
00:40:14.660 --> 00:40:20.360
and software cannot fool someone you asking them to do that so I'm just

567
00:40:20.360 --> 00:40:25.760
saying and you can and when you're having conversations with guys like a

568
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:31.820
masculine mature man and you can just say hey look this is new for me I have

569
00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:37.160
you know online dating is something new I really uncomfortable with it I hear

570
00:40:37.160 --> 00:40:41.920
these horror stories it would make me feel more comfortable if we had a video

571
00:40:42.120 --> 00:40:47.920
call and I know this sounds crazy but would you mind I know standing up and

572
00:40:48.640 --> 00:40:53.480
guess what ladies a masculine mature man it's gonna honor and respect your

573
00:40:53.620 --> 00:40:59.780
country yeah for sure he's not going like your husband is going to want you

574
00:40:59.780 --> 00:41:05.540
to feel secure and safe right period yeah and if the guy has got an attitude

575
00:41:05.660 --> 00:41:13.140
about it whether he's fake or not yeah boy bye yeah well I just I felt so

576
00:41:13.140 --> 00:41:17.200
empowered by just knowing that little trick that I feel like you know what

577
00:41:17.200 --> 00:41:22.880
okay I can go back on now and I have something that I can use to give my you

578
00:41:22.880 --> 00:41:30.200
know to bring you are you're looking at the things that you're afraid of or that

579
00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:37.440
you're dreading and you're willing to be open to look at it head-on and you're

580
00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:42.920
partnering with Holy Spirit and saying look I'm willing to stretch myself I'm

581
00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:47.140
willing to get myself a little uncomfortable Lord help comfort me what

582
00:41:47.140 --> 00:41:53.500
can I do and look he's showing up for you yes I totally believe me because I

583
00:41:53.500 --> 00:41:58.660
honestly was not looking for that I was just relaxing last evening and I totally

584
00:41:58.660 --> 00:42:04.320
believe that he let he he he gave that to me so yeah I want to show I love that

585
00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:09.460
awesome I wrote that down too cuz that's something I want to like share with the

586
00:42:09.460 --> 00:42:13.840
team too cuz that's I mean we're always looking at what do we need to share with

587
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:17.540
you ladies to make sure that y'all are making safe choices and staying

588
00:42:17.540 --> 00:42:21.160
protected and stuff like that because we take that stuff very very seriously as

589
00:42:21.380 --> 00:42:27.880
well it's why we strongly encourage you ladies you know don't be going to men's

590
00:42:27.880 --> 00:42:32.520
houses don't let them come to your house I mean you need to know them for a

591
00:42:32.520 --> 00:42:38.400
little while before you do that unfortunately like some some people in

592
00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:42.140
the community have not taken our wisdom on that and have found themselves in

593
00:42:42.140 --> 00:42:49.840
some pretty not-so-great situations so that we do take that stuff very very

594
00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:57.620
seriously ladies I'm sorry there's someone at my door just ignore that so

595
00:42:57.620 --> 00:43:00.900
thank you so much Kim all right Kathleen

596
00:43:05.500 --> 00:43:14.420
hi she's got her hair I know I well cuz I'm yeah anyway hi I'm just an update

597
00:43:14.420 --> 00:43:26.720
and a question I was met someone we had our first in-person on Thursday there

598
00:43:26.720 --> 00:43:32.800
dates right we had how many did I see that you also saw each other three days

599
00:43:32.800 --> 00:43:38.340
in a row well it's been five days in a row now okay from when you posted that

600
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:49.000
was okay yeah instant connection we didn't even get through half of our

601
00:43:49.160 --> 00:43:57.320
because we were talking so much he asked to extend the the date I and I

602
00:43:57.320 --> 00:44:05.660
just keep hearing that it's a yes until it's a no yeah so I did and then the

603
00:44:05.660 --> 00:44:10.080
next day he said I'm going to San Diego I'm in Orange County so I'm going to San

604
00:44:10.080 --> 00:44:15.120
Diego to visit a friend you know a guy that I'm you know I know he's

605
00:44:15.240 --> 00:44:22.020
incarcerated will you come with me like no and I thought you know this will be a

606
00:44:22.020 --> 00:44:25.840
good opportunity because I'm I he's inviting me into spaces where I can

607
00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:33.100
observe him you know so I'm like okay and so we did it was beautiful and what

608
00:44:33.100 --> 00:44:37.300
I heard in my spirit when he asked me the second time I heard ministry

609
00:44:37.300 --> 00:44:42.940
opportunity I'm like okay and it was it was actually really beautiful and then

610
00:44:42.940 --> 00:44:52.040
he invited me to meet his daughter okay and that was Sunday and I just was

611
00:44:52.040 --> 00:44:58.960
really clear I said you will not be meeting my children that's just I like

612
00:44:58.960 --> 00:44:59.380
that

613
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.480
that of course your mom, like I get that.

614
00:45:04.360 --> 00:45:06.760
So for me, nobody's meeting my kids

615
00:45:06.760 --> 00:45:08.400
until there's a ring on a finger.

616
00:45:08.460 --> 00:45:08.680
Yep.

617
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:10.480
I mean, they're adults,

618
00:45:10.580 --> 00:45:11.920
they live their own lives, but still.

619
00:45:13.100 --> 00:45:16.220
So he is like in it to win it.

620
00:45:16.280 --> 00:45:17.960
And that scares me.

621
00:45:18.680 --> 00:45:19.020
Okay.

622
00:45:19.680 --> 00:45:20.660
It does.

623
00:45:21.560 --> 00:45:23.220
And I realized it's more about me.

624
00:45:23.300 --> 00:45:25.000
I realized this is a social experiment.

625
00:45:26.040 --> 00:45:26.600
Okay.

626
00:45:27.260 --> 00:45:29.980
I am sitting with the Lord a lot,

627
00:45:30.540 --> 00:45:34.240
sorting through all the feelings,

628
00:45:34.540 --> 00:45:36.740
all the fear, all the panic.

629
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:40.220
But I do feel completely safe with him.

630
00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:42.980
I feel cared for.

631
00:45:44.640 --> 00:45:47.380
I am a little concerned about where he is spiritually.

632
00:45:47.520 --> 00:45:51.260
I think the sincerity is there, the intent is there.

633
00:45:52.020 --> 00:45:54.640
Just some yellow flags, like I need more information.

634
00:45:55.300 --> 00:45:55.640
Okay.

635
00:45:55.640 --> 00:45:57.300
Yep, that's totally fine.

636
00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:01.500
But I don't, it just feels,

637
00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:04.440
is this just normal to feel, like I feel off kilter.

638
00:46:05.040 --> 00:46:05.840
Yeah, it's fine.

639
00:46:06.040 --> 00:46:08.200
And I also feel because of my time,

640
00:46:08.540 --> 00:46:12.460
I spent a lot of time in the secret place.

641
00:46:12.620 --> 00:46:13.080
Yeah.

642
00:46:13.620 --> 00:46:14.760
Historically, right?

643
00:46:14.760 --> 00:46:17.140
With five years being on my own

644
00:46:17.540 --> 00:46:20.040
and I feel a little unfaithful.

645
00:46:22.120 --> 00:46:23.940
Because he's taking up space in my head.

646
00:46:24.780 --> 00:46:24.980
Okay.

647
00:46:25.180 --> 00:46:27.360
So because you've had this, you know,

648
00:46:27.500 --> 00:46:31.920
more one-on-one time with the Lord in the sacred space

649
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:35.920
that now you're giving that time up for somebody else.

650
00:46:36.160 --> 00:46:39.320
But again, if the Lord has,

651
00:46:40.480 --> 00:46:41.720
once you partnered with someone,

652
00:46:41.820 --> 00:46:47.320
do you think that the Lord is okay allowing you?

653
00:46:47.340 --> 00:46:47.780
Totally, yeah.

654
00:46:47.780 --> 00:46:53.620
So I mean, it's just all my apprehension, I guess.

655
00:46:55.160 --> 00:46:56.740
Well, one, I think,

656
00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:59.880
I love that you're still spending time with the Lord.

657
00:47:01.240 --> 00:47:02.200
Like that's good.

658
00:47:02.560 --> 00:47:03.760
That's really good.

659
00:47:04.300 --> 00:47:09.960
Like you are, I'm hearing healthy responses from you.

660
00:47:10.540 --> 00:47:14.960
Acknowledgement, like you are clarity of things.

661
00:47:18.580 --> 00:47:20.660
I love that you're using it's a yes until it's a no.

662
00:47:21.340 --> 00:47:23.280
And this is totally normal.

663
00:47:24.020 --> 00:47:24.780
So hard.

664
00:47:25.540 --> 00:47:26.320
Because it's different

665
00:47:26.540 --> 00:47:30.960
because you are allowing yourself to date differently.

666
00:47:31.340 --> 00:47:32.260
So guess what?

667
00:47:32.520 --> 00:47:33.820
It's going to feel different.

668
00:47:34.120 --> 00:47:35.820
It's going to feel a little bit uncomfortable.

669
00:47:36.260 --> 00:47:38.540
It's not gonna feel normal to you.

670
00:47:39.880 --> 00:47:42.580
So what you're feeling right now is normal

671
00:47:42.580 --> 00:47:43.720
because it's not normal.

672
00:47:44.560 --> 00:47:45.140
Does that make sense?

673
00:47:46.180 --> 00:47:48.840
So give yourself grace there.

674
00:47:50.480 --> 00:47:52.400
I love that you're saying, okay,

675
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:54.240
you need more information.

676
00:47:55.740 --> 00:47:58.120
You have some concerns about where he's at spiritually

677
00:47:58.120 --> 00:47:59.820
and you just need more information.

678
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:03.480
So be open to getting that information.

679
00:48:05.520 --> 00:48:06.740
Okay, Karen, got it.

680
00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:08.480
Definitely post that question in the app.

681
00:48:08.580 --> 00:48:09.680
I appreciate it.

682
00:48:11.500 --> 00:48:13.780
And then I'll get to your question today, okay?

683
00:48:17.880 --> 00:48:20.320
And one thing I wanted to ask you,

684
00:48:21.780 --> 00:48:26.280
you said he's in it to win it and it scares you

685
00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:29.340
and you have this panic, but you feel safe and cared for.

686
00:48:29.600 --> 00:48:36.760
So let's dive into what's this feeling of panic and scared?

687
00:48:36.920 --> 00:48:39.520
Like, what is that rooted in?

688
00:48:40.940 --> 00:48:45.060
If you could say like the worst fear,

689
00:48:45.540 --> 00:48:47.740
like what is that one thought,

690
00:48:47.740 --> 00:48:51.720
fearful thought that just replays in your head

691
00:48:52.420 --> 00:48:54.560
that gives you that sense of panic?

692
00:48:56.080 --> 00:48:59.580
Yeah, he is,

693
00:49:03.760 --> 00:49:07.140
I think Jackie posted somewhere like men

694
00:49:07.140 --> 00:49:10.060
typically know before women, okay?

695
00:49:10.360 --> 00:49:14.320
But he is like, he's talking about our future.

696
00:49:14.320 --> 00:49:18.200
He's talking about, and it feels sincere.

697
00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:19.300
Okay.

698
00:49:19.820 --> 00:49:23.520
And that scared, I'm like, can we just slow the roll, dude?

699
00:49:24.340 --> 00:49:26.460
Because I hear that and I go,

700
00:49:26.660 --> 00:49:30.360
and it takes me back to my marriage where,

701
00:49:30.820 --> 00:49:32.140
and I did sit with the Lord with this

702
00:49:32.140 --> 00:49:37.180
and the deep-rooted fear is being on the hook

703
00:49:37.800 --> 00:49:41.760
and being at the mercy of somebody else's decisions.

704
00:49:43.020 --> 00:49:43.620
Okay.

705
00:49:43.940 --> 00:49:45.480
That terrifies me.

706
00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:48.840
At mercy, okay.

707
00:49:49.700 --> 00:49:53.260
So I'm trying to continue to sit with him

708
00:49:54.300 --> 00:49:58.460
and to sit with this, okay, I'm just gonna,

709
00:49:58.680 --> 00:49:59.980
we're just here right now and that's okay.

710
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.020
It's okay, and the proof is in the pudding.

711
00:50:02.180 --> 00:50:03.160
We'll just see how it goes.

712
00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:04.160
Okay.

713
00:50:05.960 --> 00:50:08.100
Because you've only been talking now for five days.

714
00:50:09.660 --> 00:50:10.500
In person, yes.

715
00:50:11.100 --> 00:50:11.540
Yeah.

716
00:50:11.600 --> 00:50:13.320
So I could see that.

717
00:50:15.720 --> 00:50:17.980
How do you feel about setting some boundaries

718
00:50:18.460 --> 00:50:21.060
to help you slow it down?

719
00:50:21.480 --> 00:50:22.460
No, I told him.

720
00:50:22.460 --> 00:50:25.900
I said, you need to stop talking about me being your wife.

721
00:50:26.120 --> 00:50:28.560
You need to, or the future, or any of that.

722
00:50:28.560 --> 00:50:31.460
You need to, because you're yet.

723
00:50:31.560 --> 00:50:32.440
And what's his response?

724
00:50:32.600 --> 00:50:33.840
Is he respecting that boundary?

725
00:50:34.580 --> 00:50:34.580


726
00:50:34.580 --> 00:50:34.820
Okay.

727
00:50:35.700 --> 00:50:36.180
Yes.

728
00:50:36.180 --> 00:50:40.100
I would just definitely encourage the,

729
00:50:40.900 --> 00:50:42.800
like, look, slow it down.

730
00:50:42.820 --> 00:50:44.100
Because like Jackie said, yeah,

731
00:50:44.100 --> 00:50:45.880
the men typically will know.

732
00:50:46.300 --> 00:50:48.600
Like my husband knew from the moment he saw me.

733
00:50:48.920 --> 00:50:51.720
I think he even actually knew before he even met me,

734
00:50:51.720 --> 00:50:52.440
like in person.

735
00:50:52.860 --> 00:50:53.680
And I was like.

736
00:50:54.700 --> 00:50:56.200
Yeah, it's scary.

737
00:50:57.560 --> 00:51:01.540
Like, cause I had been so broken and wounded

738
00:51:01.560 --> 00:51:04.620
and just, I jumped into relationships so quick.

739
00:51:04.660 --> 00:51:08.040
Like I did not want to rush into anything.

740
00:51:08.880 --> 00:51:12.000
So it was very important for me to kind of be like,

741
00:51:12.140 --> 00:51:13.100
well, wait a second.

742
00:51:14.260 --> 00:51:16.260
Like, typically I would be the rusher.

743
00:51:16.580 --> 00:51:18.280
So in the fact that I had a guy trying to rush me,

744
00:51:18.300 --> 00:51:20.800
I was like, well, no, wait, I'm gonna stay here.

745
00:51:21.480 --> 00:51:25.340
And my husband was so respectful

746
00:51:25.980 --> 00:51:30.660
of like letting me go at my pace

747
00:51:31.880 --> 00:51:34.100
and just letting me kind of sit with the Lord

748
00:51:34.100 --> 00:51:36.660
and letting the Lord kind of guide and direct me.

749
00:51:37.020 --> 00:51:41.920
So continue to help communicate those boundaries to him.

750
00:51:43.700 --> 00:51:46.300
Are y'all seeing each other in person every day?

751
00:51:47.920 --> 00:51:49.500
Can we cut that back?

752
00:51:49.500 --> 00:51:54.340
Yeah, I think part of that was because he leaves

753
00:51:55.100 --> 00:51:56.660
on Wednesday, is that tomorrow?

754
00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:00.540
And he's gone for three weeks.

755
00:52:01.760 --> 00:52:03.520
And so we were kind of like accelerating,

756
00:52:04.440 --> 00:52:05.160
like, is this gonna work?

757
00:52:05.160 --> 00:52:06.920
It'll be good that you guys will get three weeks

758
00:52:07.420 --> 00:52:08.640
without being in this.

759
00:52:09.480 --> 00:52:11.940
So you guys are gonna have the physical,

760
00:52:12.340 --> 00:52:13.580
not near each other.

761
00:52:13.700 --> 00:52:15.600
So now let's put some boundaries off.

762
00:52:15.640 --> 00:52:18.300
How often are you going to be in contact with each other?

763
00:52:19.500 --> 00:52:21.460
Are you texting or are you calling on the phone

764
00:52:21.460 --> 00:52:22.240
or video calling?

765
00:52:23.660 --> 00:52:24.100
Now?

766
00:52:24.660 --> 00:52:24.920
Yeah.

767
00:52:26.140 --> 00:52:27.820
Text and phone call.

768
00:52:28.540 --> 00:52:28.820
Text and phone.

769
00:52:29.520 --> 00:52:29.840
Okay.

770
00:52:32.460 --> 00:52:37.520
What do you think is a reasonable amount of time,

771
00:52:37.840 --> 00:52:40.540
space between texting and phone call?

772
00:52:40.680 --> 00:52:43.900
Like, do you think you can space it like

773
00:52:43.900 --> 00:52:46.480
once every three days, once every other day?

774
00:52:46.640 --> 00:52:48.440
What do you think seems reasonable?

775
00:52:48.440 --> 00:52:52.520
What's gonna make you feel like,

776
00:52:53.040 --> 00:52:55.040
okay, this is not feeling rushed?

777
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:57.980
What would make you most comfortable?

778
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:04.900
I think because of where we are

779
00:53:04.900 --> 00:53:09.480
and there is definitely a connection, right?

780
00:53:11.360 --> 00:53:18.380
I think going more than three weeks

781
00:53:19.080 --> 00:53:21.900
like I feel like some connection every day,

782
00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:24.120
but not all day would be okay

783
00:53:24.120 --> 00:53:26.000
during this three weeks that he's gone.

784
00:53:26.540 --> 00:53:26.840
Okay.

785
00:53:27.180 --> 00:53:29.640
So can you put like a, hey,

786
00:53:29.640 --> 00:53:32.360
can we just connect every evening?

787
00:53:32.960 --> 00:53:33.560
Yeah.

788
00:53:33.560 --> 00:53:34.720
Or one hour?

789
00:53:34.780 --> 00:53:35.240
Yeah.

790
00:53:35.240 --> 00:53:39.320
And can you keep that set?

791
00:53:39.620 --> 00:53:40.220
Yeah.

792
00:53:40.660 --> 00:53:44.980
And then see how he respects that boundary.

793
00:53:46.780 --> 00:53:47.180
Yes.

794
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:48.900
Thank you, Jennifer.

795
00:53:49.640 --> 00:53:50.140
So, so good.

796
00:53:50.540 --> 00:53:53.300
Ladies, if you have to go, you're free to go.

797
00:53:53.640 --> 00:53:54.960
I'll keep this going and replay.

798
00:53:55.300 --> 00:53:58.840
So if you, I'll stick around for a little bit to answer.

799
00:53:58.940 --> 00:53:59.920
I know I got a few more questions.

800
00:54:00.040 --> 00:54:01.500
I wanna take Alexandra's question

801
00:54:01.500 --> 00:54:03.560
because I think she's fairly new here.

802
00:54:03.600 --> 00:54:04.680
So I definitely wanna take hers

803
00:54:04.680 --> 00:54:06.080
and I definitely wanna hear from Leah.

804
00:54:06.600 --> 00:54:07.900
And then Lori and Kim,

805
00:54:07.960 --> 00:54:09.460
I wanna hear updates from you as well.

806
00:54:09.900 --> 00:54:12.200
So, but if any of you have to leave,

807
00:54:12.200 --> 00:54:13.660
by all means, feel free.

808
00:54:14.180 --> 00:54:16.200
And we will keep this rolling

809
00:54:16.200 --> 00:54:17.680
so you can always catch it in replay.

810
00:54:19.360 --> 00:54:22.240
But don't feel like you have to hang out the whole time

811
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:24.260
because I'm gonna keep it a little bit longer

812
00:54:24.260 --> 00:54:25.620
than I normally do.

813
00:54:26.600 --> 00:54:27.400
But yeah.

814
00:54:27.800 --> 00:54:29.660
So yes, back to Kathleen.

815
00:54:32.620 --> 00:54:33.940
Let's hold it there.

816
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:35.240
See how he respects that.

817
00:54:35.620 --> 00:54:37.080
Now, can we put some boundaries

818
00:54:37.080 --> 00:54:39.160
on the types of things y'all talk about?

819
00:54:39.340 --> 00:54:42.260
Because you wanna get some more information about him.

820
00:54:42.260 --> 00:54:44.060
Like what kinds of things do you feel

821
00:54:44.060 --> 00:54:45.360
like you need more information

822
00:54:45.740 --> 00:54:47.400
in order to learn more about him

823
00:54:47.400 --> 00:54:49.960
that's gonna make you feel like this is

824
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:52.500
yellow flags turning green or yellow flags turning red?

825
00:54:54.480 --> 00:54:56.860
I feel like I haven't had the liberty

826
00:54:56.860 --> 00:54:58.100
to ask those questions

827
00:54:58.100 --> 00:54:59.820
because I've known him for five days.

828
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.440
Yeah, so what kinds of things are you thinking well, I I

829
00:55:05.880 --> 00:55:07.980
Want to say I want to tell him

830
00:55:08.740 --> 00:55:13.720
This is what I this is what I need in my partner

831
00:55:15.580 --> 00:55:17.880
I'm I don't see that in your life

832
00:55:18.980 --> 00:55:25.920
Okay, um, I mean I I mean I like you and it's all it's all good

833
00:55:25.920 --> 00:55:32.080
But I don't see this in your life. What is it that you don't see that you want to see? I

834
00:55:32.080 --> 00:55:33.800
Don't see the spiritual disciplines

835
00:55:35.760 --> 00:55:37.520
Okay, I don't see

836
00:55:38.400 --> 00:55:42.260
I I don't think he spends time with the Lord every day. Okay?

837
00:55:42.740 --> 00:55:47.060
so you want him spending time with the Lord every day, I mean and not to put like a

838
00:55:47.180 --> 00:55:53.020
No, I get it a religious thing on it. But some pursuit like daily put some sort of daily pursuit

839
00:55:53.640 --> 00:55:59.440
Have you asked him what it looks like to spend time with the Lord, what's his time like

840
00:56:00.300 --> 00:56:05.260
What what does time with the Lord look like for you? And what do you think it looks like for him?

841
00:56:05.300 --> 00:56:13.120
It might be different and that's okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm just that's why I'd imagine that you're you are aware of that. So yeah

842
00:56:13.680 --> 00:56:16.340
being okay with the thought that

843
00:56:16.880 --> 00:56:19.140
it may look different for him and

844
00:56:20.140 --> 00:56:23.920
And being open to kind of seeing how it shows up in his life

845
00:56:23.920 --> 00:56:30.520
So that is again with it being five days. You probably aren't going to see that. Yeah, so

846
00:56:30.520 --> 00:56:33.000
you could bring it up in conversation like

847
00:56:33.940 --> 00:56:37.020
Work, did you have any moments today where you got to spend time with the Lord?

848
00:56:38.680 --> 00:56:42.340
Like I did this today and this is how I got to spend time with the Lord today

849
00:56:42.980 --> 00:56:49.900
Or this is what I heard today or what did you hear today or yeah, and it's that and it's not a pressure like

850
00:56:50.400 --> 00:56:53.920
I'm not seeing this in your life, right? You know

851
00:56:55.040 --> 00:56:58.700
Because I know that's not how you are wanting to approach it. I

852
00:56:59.380 --> 00:56:59.900
completely

853
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:05.620
Understand as a faithful godly woman like that's what we desire

854
00:57:05.960 --> 00:57:10.960
We are that and a husband is we we do we want to be spiritually led. Well

855
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:17.420
We want we want that covering we want that protection that is important for us as women

856
00:57:17.480 --> 00:57:19.200
Yeah, so I

857
00:57:19.500 --> 00:57:22.320
understand that being a concern and

858
00:57:23.420 --> 00:57:26.080
That being something that we see

859
00:57:27.520 --> 00:57:29.220
It's helping you ladies

860
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:38.560
Like being comfortable and relaxed with how that might look and giving it time to show up

861
00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:43.560
Because I know I get anxious about that like that was something like oh, I don't know

862
00:57:44.600 --> 00:57:50.440
He's not going to church every day. He's not doing this like, you know, like I you know, I was like that

863
00:57:50.440 --> 00:57:56.500
I was and you know, and I see women all the time over this last five years of being in this community

864
00:57:56.500 --> 00:58:02.700
I see that and so it is it's a learning process of being able to kind of sit back and say, okay

865
00:58:03.680 --> 00:58:05.400
How can we?

866
00:58:06.300 --> 00:58:11.480
How can we discover and learn more about a person and see if those are

867
00:58:12.700 --> 00:58:18.960
Yellow flags turning green or if they're red and it's allowing the time allowing that stuff to come out

868
00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:22.180
So again, just ask me like hey like, you know

869
00:58:22.720 --> 00:58:28.020
When I was on a walk today, like, you know, the Lord spoke this to me like, you know

870
00:58:29.180 --> 00:58:33.600
That's one way that the Lord speaks to me. What what is is there a way that the Lord speaks to you?

871
00:58:33.600 --> 00:58:37.380
Did you have an encounter today? Was there something that the Lord spoke to you today?

872
00:58:37.860 --> 00:58:45.680
Like how does the Lord speak to you like for me the Lord speaks to me like my prayer time usually y'all like

873
00:58:46.840 --> 00:58:47.960
shower in the car

874
00:58:49.240 --> 00:58:50.600
I'm a busy mom

875
00:58:51.560 --> 00:58:53.080
Very busy mom

876
00:58:54.100 --> 00:58:56.080
He speaks to me in the car

877
00:58:57.020 --> 00:58:59.200
because I listen to worship music in the car and

878
00:59:00.020 --> 00:59:06.360
Especially when I don't have my kids in my car and in the shower, it's the only time I ever feel like I have free time

879
00:59:07.760 --> 00:59:08.240
So

880
00:59:09.720 --> 00:59:15.960
Yeah, I'm in the trenches right now that is my literally that is the only like that's my prayer closet is the shower

881
00:59:16.260 --> 00:59:19.760
And y'all can and I'll be honest with you and I can't even shower every day

882
00:59:21.900 --> 00:59:24.900
Like and it's like so it's just real life

883
00:59:26.320 --> 00:59:27.640
so it doesn't

884
00:59:28.680 --> 00:59:33.460
Like everybody's walk with the Lord will look different depending on where they're at in their life

885
00:59:35.140 --> 00:59:37.320
And it looks different for my husband too

886
00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:41.760
like my husband's getting ready to go into his busy season where he works literally 12 to 14 hour days and

887
00:59:42.620 --> 00:59:44.240
I'm having to kind of

888
00:59:44.760 --> 00:59:49.720
Shift out of that too because that frustrates me at times where I'm like, where's my husband?

889
00:59:50.620 --> 00:59:53.280
like I need time to decompress with him and

890
00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:56.380
Share with him what the Lord is speaking to me

891
00:59:56.960 --> 00:59:59.980
What the Lord is speaking to him and I'm like we don't even have time to just

892
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.900
discuss that. And he's in like work mode. Then I'm like, are

893
01:00:03.900 --> 01:00:05.880
you even spending time with God? And I mean, I'm sitting here

894
01:00:05.880 --> 01:00:10.080
being super critical. And I'm like, that's not being very

895
01:00:09.800 --> 01:00:16.080
wifely. You know, but it's a learning process for me too. So

896
01:00:16.080 --> 01:00:20.200
again, it's just practicing like what that looks like. So try

897
01:00:21.240 --> 01:00:21.800
that.

898
01:00:22.520 --> 01:00:26.760
Yeah. The other the other two things that are concerning me

899
01:00:26.760 --> 01:00:32.620
right now is that he is he is seven years older than me. And

900
01:00:32.620 --> 01:00:40.880
he's not active. Okay. And I'm uber active. Yeah. Um, and I

901
01:00:40.880 --> 01:00:45.120
don't want to I don't want to say you in order to like, be

902
01:00:45.120 --> 01:00:47.820
with me, you got to be active. Like, I can't say that.

903
01:00:48.760 --> 01:00:54.400
Is he open to trying things out that you enjoy? Yes. Okay.

904
01:00:54.400 --> 01:01:00.380
Because there I think is balance as well. And the only thing that

905
01:01:00.380 --> 01:01:04.420
I can reference this to is just again, in my own experience is

906
01:01:05.700 --> 01:01:10.540
like my husband loves going to the movies. Y'all I don't like

907
01:01:10.540 --> 01:01:14.400
going to the movies. I don't mind going to the movies. That

908
01:01:14.400 --> 01:01:19.540
is just not like I'd rather sit on my couch in comfy clothes,

909
01:01:20.380 --> 01:01:27.160
not spending $50 at the movie theater. I'd rather just be in

910
01:01:27.160 --> 01:01:31.300
the comfort of my own home and spend $20 to purchase it

911
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:36.920
digitally, and then have it whenever I want it. But he

912
01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:40.960
that's like, that's what he wants. Like, that's what he

913
01:01:40.960 --> 01:01:45.880
wants to do. I don't love it. But I'm willing to go do it

914
01:01:45.880 --> 01:01:49.560
because it's something that I know he enjoys. So I'm willing

915
01:01:49.560 --> 01:01:57.640
to go do that. Now. I like to be out and doing things and doing

916
01:01:57.640 --> 01:02:03.820
active things like being around a lot of people. He's not always

917
01:02:03.820 --> 01:02:10.220
into that. But he'll do it because he knows I enjoy it. So

918
01:02:10.220 --> 01:02:17.200
you're saying that it's okay to have they can still be

919
01:02:19.080 --> 01:02:23.880
compatible without all the boxes checked? Yes. Yes.

920
01:02:25.740 --> 01:02:28.740
And I'll tell you this, like

921
01:02:30.860 --> 01:02:34.040
my husband, like, and this is what my husband will tell you,

922
01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:39.260
like, he just wants to be around me. He doesn't care what he's

923
01:02:39.380 --> 01:02:44.760
doing. He just wants to spend time with me. And I and again,

924
01:02:44.820 --> 01:02:49.280
I'm not a man. He's just telling me how men think his

925
01:02:49.620 --> 01:02:54.760
perspective of it is, is a man just wants to be around the

926
01:02:54.760 --> 01:02:57.460
woman he wants to be around. So he'll do anything just to be

927
01:02:57.460 --> 01:03:04.360
around the woman that he wants to be around. So you know, if

928
01:03:04.360 --> 01:03:07.720
you want to go do something, you want to go on a hike, the man's

929
01:03:07.720 --> 01:03:09.980
probably gonna go go on a hike with you, because he just wants

930
01:03:09.980 --> 01:03:12.660
to be around you. I mean, my husband's love languages,

931
01:03:13.320 --> 01:03:17.200
physical touch and quality time. He doesn't care what the quality

932
01:03:17.200 --> 01:03:21.540
time is. To him. It's just doing anything. I mean, we could be

933
01:03:21.540 --> 01:03:24.320
literally just watching Netflix. And he just wants to be right

934
01:03:24.320 --> 01:03:27.140
next to me, like holding my hand. And sometimes I'm like,

935
01:03:29.780 --> 01:03:33.340
okay. But like, it's just literally like, it doesn't

936
01:03:33.340 --> 01:03:37.480
matter what we're doing as long as he's with me. So that

937
01:03:37.480 --> 01:03:44.180
again, like, over time, you will learn each other and learn what

938
01:03:44.180 --> 01:03:50.180
you like what you don't what that that compatibility is the

939
01:03:50.180 --> 01:03:54.220
opposites that complimentary opposites can is a thing. You

940
01:03:54.220 --> 01:03:57.400
can have things that you both enjoy that you don't like, like

941
01:03:57.400 --> 01:04:00.620
I don't like certain things that he likes. And I like certain

942
01:04:00.620 --> 01:04:05.040
things that he doesn't like, but we still find time to enjoy them

943
01:04:05.120 --> 01:04:09.440
together, because we enjoy filling each other's cup.

944
01:04:10.060 --> 01:04:13.420
Because that's what we we love each other. So that's what we we

945
01:04:13.420 --> 01:04:16.740
want to go do those things for each other. That's how we serve

946
01:04:16.740 --> 01:04:22.260
each other. Does that make sense? Indeed? Yes. So be open

947
01:04:22.260 --> 01:04:25.800
to that. You know, I get it like you want someone to because it

948
01:04:25.800 --> 01:04:27.600
sounds like like, what are your love languages?

949
01:04:31.860 --> 01:04:37.380
I don't like the love languages. So okay. Because I feel like it

950
01:04:37.380 --> 01:04:42.700
can be manipulated. So yeah, and that's just a past. Well, and

951
01:04:42.700 --> 01:04:45.240
I'll tell you love languages will change mine used to be

952
01:04:45.240 --> 01:04:47.400
quality time and physical touch. When I first met my husband,

953
01:04:47.480 --> 01:04:52.060
they're not that anymore. Mine is literally acts of service. Now,

954
01:04:52.220 --> 01:04:57.580
my husband is just like, what happened? I'm like, I became a

955
01:04:57.580 --> 01:04:59.940
wife and a mother of three kids. And

956
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.240
I have a lot on my plate.

957
01:05:01.620 --> 01:05:04.000
I need people doing stuff for me.

958
01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:08.220
Like I just need you to show up and help me.

959
01:05:08.680 --> 01:05:09.640
Lighten the load.

960
01:05:09.920 --> 01:05:13.200
Yeah, like take the burden off my plate.

961
01:05:13.340 --> 01:05:15.580
I have so much of a burden on my plate now.

962
01:05:16.320 --> 01:05:18.200
So that's my love language, honey.

963
01:05:18.640 --> 01:05:20.160
Sorry, it's not your, it's not,

964
01:05:20.240 --> 01:05:22.800
we're not compatible on the physical touch

965
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:24.920
and quality time like we used to be

966
01:05:25.300 --> 01:05:28.700
before I became a wife and a mother to three children.

967
01:05:28.700 --> 01:05:32.200
Gosh, if your love language is met, that would be too easy.

968
01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:34.620
Yeah, no, they're not.

969
01:05:35.020 --> 01:05:35.100
Nope.

970
01:05:35.860 --> 01:05:38.160
So yeah, we both have to stretch.

971
01:05:40.720 --> 01:05:41.980
And so sometimes I'm like,

972
01:05:41.980 --> 01:05:43.380
I don't want to be touched right now,

973
01:05:43.380 --> 01:05:45.560
but I'm like, okay, but if my husband's quality,

974
01:05:46.000 --> 01:05:47.400
like I have to scratch his back and I'm like,

975
01:05:47.460 --> 01:05:48.980
this is the last thing I want to do right now.

976
01:05:49.340 --> 01:05:51.580
It's one space, but I do it because again,

977
01:05:51.700 --> 01:05:53.820
I want my husband to know I love him

978
01:05:53.820 --> 01:05:54.940
and I want to pour into him.

979
01:05:54.940 --> 01:05:58.140
Cause he needs to be loved too.

980
01:05:58.920 --> 01:06:02.000
So, but again, take your time.

981
01:06:02.180 --> 01:06:03.600
This is still new.

982
01:06:03.660 --> 01:06:05.280
You got three weeks now.

983
01:06:05.340 --> 01:06:06.420
This is going to be good.

984
01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:10.180
You guys are going to get to just know each other,

985
01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:14.160
spend time learning a little bit more about each other

986
01:06:14.820 --> 01:06:18.320
and see where that goes and keep us posted.

987
01:06:18.940 --> 01:06:23.680
Like whatever stuff comes up, share it with us.

988
01:06:23.680 --> 01:06:25.060
We can help you walk through it.

989
01:06:25.980 --> 01:06:26.260
Okay.

990
01:06:26.720 --> 01:06:28.600
I hope that helped a lot of you ladies.

991
01:06:28.840 --> 01:06:31.120
I think I love it when you ladies come with questions

992
01:06:31.120 --> 01:06:32.600
cause believe it or not, I think a lot of,

993
01:06:33.480 --> 01:06:34.560
a lot of you ladies will experience

994
01:06:34.560 --> 01:06:35.680
a lot of the same things.

995
01:06:37.120 --> 01:06:37.520
Okay.

996
01:06:38.320 --> 01:06:39.060
Thank you.

997
01:06:39.740 --> 01:06:39.740


998
01:06:40.480 --> 01:06:43.340
And Kathleen Kim shared her number in the chat.

999
01:06:43.360 --> 01:06:44.520
If you want to pick that up.

1000
01:06:44.760 --> 01:06:47.320
Cause I think the two of you could connect as well.

1001
01:06:49.640 --> 01:06:51.600
And Hey, no, I don't think there's a problem

1002
01:06:51.600 --> 01:06:53.780
with gifts being a love language at all.

1003
01:06:53.900 --> 01:06:55.920
I have friends that gifts is a thing for them.

1004
01:06:56.740 --> 01:06:57.620
It's wonderful.

1005
01:06:57.860 --> 01:07:00.520
And I love when my friends have,

1006
01:07:02.260 --> 01:07:05.580
my friends that were gifts is their love language.

1007
01:07:05.700 --> 01:07:08.160
Those are my friends that are like the best gift givers.

1008
01:07:09.160 --> 01:07:12.940
I appreciate my friends that have gifts

1009
01:07:12.940 --> 01:07:14.400
as one of their love languages

1010
01:07:14.540 --> 01:07:17.680
because they just know how to give such awesome gifts.

1011
01:07:17.920 --> 01:07:19.420
I wish I knew.

1012
01:07:19.500 --> 01:07:21.120
Like sometimes I'm really good at gift giving

1013
01:07:21.120 --> 01:07:22.780
and sometimes I'm like, I have no clue what I'm doing.

1014
01:07:25.420 --> 01:07:28.060
So I will be coming to you when I need ideas

1015
01:07:28.060 --> 01:07:30.000
of gifts to give because you will probably have

1016
01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:33.000
all the best ideas of all the best gifts to give

1017
01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:35.680
because that is your love language.

1018
01:07:36.460 --> 01:07:38.080
All right, Leah, I see your hand.

1019
01:07:38.540 --> 01:07:40.520
Did you want to unpack some things with me?

1020
01:07:41.920 --> 01:07:45.980
Well, I guess I'm having a difficult time asking.

1021
01:07:47.280 --> 01:07:49.480
I'm talking to a couple of men locally

1022
01:07:49.480 --> 01:07:53.640
and kind of a couple men online

1023
01:07:54.280 --> 01:07:55.920
that I just started to on the art.

1024
01:07:57.020 --> 01:08:01.000
And so the couple men locally,

1025
01:08:01.360 --> 01:08:05.320
I did drop the hanky a couple of times for one of them.

1026
01:08:05.340 --> 01:08:09.500
He definitely kind of wanted to keep things online.

1027
01:08:09.600 --> 01:08:14.020
Although his profile does say dating and chatting.

1028
01:08:14.340 --> 01:08:17.620
The other one, you know,

1029
01:08:17.620 --> 01:08:22.300
he's mentioned that he'd like to get to know me better.

1030
01:08:22.939 --> 01:08:25.040
And I just kind of feel like

1031
01:08:26.279 --> 01:08:29.100
I'm running out of stuff to talk about.

1032
01:08:29.340 --> 01:08:32.040
Right, the first one, was that Fred?

1033
01:08:34.500 --> 01:08:35.540
Fred, yeah.

1034
01:08:36.220 --> 01:08:38.779
Fred is the one that he wants just to keep it on chat,

1035
01:08:38.979 --> 01:08:39.600
doesn't want to meet.

1036
01:08:39.880 --> 01:08:43.920
Right, and he also asked me for a picture

1037
01:08:43.920 --> 01:08:46.700
before I was going to bed, which I thought was weird.

1038
01:08:47.460 --> 01:08:49.939
Yeah, if he's not willing to do a video chat

1039
01:08:49.939 --> 01:08:52.720
or meet you in person, we're done.

1040
01:08:52.979 --> 01:08:55.600
So I've kind of quit talking to him.

1041
01:08:56.080 --> 01:08:56.560
Okay, good.

1042
01:08:58.040 --> 01:09:01.260
And then there's the other one, Ethan.

1043
01:09:01.260 --> 01:09:02.700
Remind me of his name again, was it?

1044
01:09:04.180 --> 01:09:04.740
Ethan.

1045
01:09:05.540 --> 01:09:06.120
Ethan, okay.

1046
01:09:06.740 --> 01:09:10.479
And he seems really nice,

1047
01:09:10.979 --> 01:09:13.580
but it's like we're talking more about cooking

1048
01:09:13.800 --> 01:09:16.620
and the weather and just, you know,

1049
01:09:17.460 --> 01:09:18.580
surface level stuff.

1050
01:09:19.560 --> 01:09:20.920
But I'm getting kind of bored.

1051
01:09:21.200 --> 01:09:24.220
I haven't asked him, his profile only says single,

1052
01:09:24.340 --> 01:09:25.939
but it does say he's a Christian.

1053
01:09:26.340 --> 01:09:26.840
Okay.

1054
01:09:27.160 --> 01:09:28.840
He's mentioned going to church.

1055
01:09:30.240 --> 01:09:33.880
I've mentioned, you know, that I went to church today

1056
01:09:33.880 --> 01:09:35.380
or something like that.

1057
01:09:37.460 --> 01:09:39.800
And you have dropped the hangy, like, hey.

1058
01:09:39.819 --> 01:09:42.600
I haven't really dropped the hangy for him.

1059
01:09:42.920 --> 01:09:43.500
Okay.

1060
01:09:43.740 --> 01:09:46.240
I don't think, I can't remember.

1061
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:50.279
How long have you been chatting with him?

1062
01:09:50.880 --> 01:09:51.920
Oh, it's been weeks.

1063
01:09:52.660 --> 01:09:54.240
Yeah, let's pull the bandaid off.

1064
01:09:54.360 --> 01:09:57.040
You're going to say, hey, are you free this weekend?

1065
01:09:57.760 --> 01:09:59.740
And I've been busy on the weekends.

1066
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.400
So, and I know he works, so I haven't gone there.

1067
01:10:05.140 --> 01:10:05.960
When are you free?

1068
01:10:06.400 --> 01:10:08.160
Give me a couple days that you're free this week.

1069
01:10:08.260 --> 01:10:11.780
Oh, I would do, I could probably do this weekend.

1070
01:10:12.480 --> 01:10:14.340
Okay, so yeah, you're gonna say,

1071
01:10:14.480 --> 01:10:16.560
hey, what are your plans this weekend?

1072
01:10:16.720 --> 01:10:21.680
I'm free Saturday morning and whatever,

1073
01:10:23.700 --> 01:10:26.380
pick two random times that you're free this weekend.

1074
01:10:26.640 --> 01:10:28.280
Say, hey, what are your plans this weekend?

1075
01:10:28.280 --> 01:10:30.020
I'm free this time and this time.

1076
01:10:32.740 --> 01:10:34.320
Let's meet for coffee.

1077
01:10:36.060 --> 01:10:37.180
Just throw it out there.

1078
01:10:37.360 --> 01:10:40.460
And I keep thinking I'm gonna do it and then I chicken out.

1079
01:10:41.160 --> 01:10:42.640
Well, let's not chicken out.

1080
01:10:43.040 --> 01:10:44.760
We're gonna pull the Band-Aid off.

1081
01:10:46.920 --> 01:10:48.420
What's making you chicken out?

1082
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:50.140
What's the fear?

1083
01:10:51.780 --> 01:10:52.820
I don't know.

1084
01:10:52.820 --> 01:10:55.240
I don't know that I'm really interested in him.

1085
01:10:55.320 --> 01:10:56.980
I mean, he seems like a nice man,

1086
01:10:56.980 --> 01:11:00.740
but I just, I don't know that I'm really attracted to him.

1087
01:11:01.440 --> 01:11:03.740
I'm gonna give you advice that Jackie gave me.

1088
01:11:05.300 --> 01:11:06.580
You ready for it?

1089
01:11:07.860 --> 01:11:08.240
Okay.

1090
01:11:11.120 --> 01:11:14.100
You're just gonna go on a date just to break that seal.

1091
01:11:15.040 --> 01:11:16.520
You don't have to be interested in him.

1092
01:11:18.080 --> 01:11:19.640
Jackie kicked me out of the nest and she's like,

1093
01:11:19.680 --> 01:11:20.520
you just need to go on a date.

1094
01:11:20.640 --> 01:11:22.360
She's like, I don't care that you're not interested

1095
01:11:22.360 --> 01:11:24.120
in any of these guys that you're gonna go on a date with.

1096
01:11:24.160 --> 01:11:25.440
She's like, you're just gonna go on a date.

1097
01:11:25.440 --> 01:11:28.360
And that's what we're gonna do for you.

1098
01:11:28.680 --> 01:11:29.560
Just go on a date.

1099
01:11:30.900 --> 01:11:35.360
Well, there is another man that I did go on a date with.

1100
01:11:35.620 --> 01:11:39.860
He was actually, I mean, this was like a couple years ago.

1101
01:11:41.120 --> 01:11:43.760
Is this the guy that you were dating with for seven months?

1102
01:11:44.500 --> 01:11:44.940
No.

1103
01:11:45.400 --> 01:11:45.920
Okay.

1104
01:11:45.920 --> 01:11:46.660
A different one.

1105
01:11:47.100 --> 01:11:48.660
Okay, because I do have opinions on that

1106
01:11:48.660 --> 01:11:49.840
if you want my feedback.

1107
01:11:50.140 --> 01:11:51.460
Yes, I would like it.

1108
01:11:51.460 --> 01:11:51.800
Okay.

1109
01:11:52.460 --> 01:11:54.660
I don't know if you want my feedback.

1110
01:11:54.660 --> 01:11:56.960
I'm gonna be your big sister on that one.

1111
01:11:57.240 --> 01:11:59.920
It's probably cut him off.

1112
01:12:01.860 --> 01:12:03.680
Although I like him.

1113
01:12:03.920 --> 01:12:04.240
I know.

1114
01:12:05.580 --> 01:12:08.020
Although he just called me recently.

1115
01:12:08.740 --> 01:12:13.300
And he, because he proposed to me in January

1116
01:12:13.300 --> 01:12:15.720
and then I kept pushing.

1117
01:12:16.380 --> 01:12:18.400
I just, I knew that it wasn't,

1118
01:12:19.100 --> 01:12:22.580
I just felt like it wasn't right.

1119
01:12:22.580 --> 01:12:27.480
But he did just find somebody on a dating site.

1120
01:12:29.020 --> 01:12:30.900
My biggest thing with that,

1121
01:12:31.080 --> 01:12:32.620
when I was reading through that,

1122
01:12:33.400 --> 01:12:36.920
when that was coming up in my spirit

1123
01:12:36.920 --> 01:12:41.900
that I remember that Jackie talks about frequently

1124
01:12:43.340 --> 01:12:47.180
is when people surface back up from our past,

1125
01:12:47.900 --> 01:12:52.400
they have to have a complete transformation.

1126
01:12:53.960 --> 01:12:56.540
In order for those past relationships to truly work,

1127
01:12:56.600 --> 01:12:58.320
you have to see a complete transformation.

1128
01:12:58.860 --> 01:13:02.500
And my gut instinct is that this guy

1129
01:13:02.500 --> 01:13:04.040
has not had a complete transformation,

1130
01:13:04.400 --> 01:13:06.500
especially, and his name was John, right?

1131
01:13:07.540 --> 01:13:09.260
I don't think John has had a complete transformation

1132
01:13:09.260 --> 01:13:12.880
and he was very adamant about sex before marriage.

1133
01:13:14.940 --> 01:13:18.040
And that is a deal breaker for you.

1134
01:13:20.940 --> 01:13:25.700
And here's the thing is if it's a deal breaker for you

1135
01:13:25.700 --> 01:13:27.600
and it's not a deal breaker for them,

1136
01:13:27.680 --> 01:13:29.480
and they've already shared with you

1137
01:13:29.480 --> 01:13:31.580
that they don't see anything wrong with it,

1138
01:13:32.280 --> 01:13:35.100
they are not, it's just not gonna work.

1139
01:13:37.080 --> 01:13:38.700
Like it won't.

1140
01:13:40.140 --> 01:13:41.960
That's not something that they can,

1141
01:13:41.960 --> 01:13:44.900
especially if he's like, he sees nothing wrong with it.

1142
01:13:45.340 --> 01:13:47.220
It sounds like he's,

1143
01:13:47.480 --> 01:13:51.440
and you've shared that he's had sexual relationships

1144
01:13:52.140 --> 01:13:55.440
before you, after you, all of that kind of stuff.

1145
01:13:56.320 --> 01:13:59.160
It doesn't sound like he has a true conviction.

1146
01:14:00.560 --> 01:14:02.460
And if he tells you he does,

1147
01:14:03.120 --> 01:14:07.040
it may only be because it's what you wanna hear,

1148
01:14:07.500 --> 01:14:09.260
not because he truly has had a heart transformation.

1149
01:14:09.260 --> 01:14:13.540
You would need to see a serious heart transformation.

1150
01:14:14.320 --> 01:14:19.300
So I would encourage, don't tangle yourself in that.

1151
01:14:20.060 --> 01:14:21.140
Just release that.

1152
01:14:21.340 --> 01:14:23.140
That's just gonna only add confusion.

1153
01:14:23.360 --> 01:14:25.380
That would be my encouragement to you.

1154
01:14:28.320 --> 01:14:32.600
But I understand when there's feelings, emotions

1155
01:14:32.600 --> 01:14:33.400
and all that kind of stuff,

1156
01:14:33.520 --> 01:14:35.640
we can always help you unpack that.

1157
01:14:35.940 --> 01:14:37.620
We can always do hard work on that.

1158
01:14:38.600 --> 01:14:39.000
Okay.

1159
01:14:40.920 --> 01:14:44.520
It sounds like he's potentially found a relationship.

1160
01:14:45.040 --> 01:14:48.780
You know, I didn't hear from him for several months and-

1161
01:14:48.780 --> 01:14:49.460
And if you wanna break,

1162
01:14:49.560 --> 01:14:51.220
if you need to break soul ties again,

1163
01:14:51.400 --> 01:14:52.820
if you haven't, do it.

1164
01:14:52.940 --> 01:14:54.820
If you already did it and you need to do it again,

1165
01:14:55.040 --> 01:14:55.460
do it again.

1166
01:14:56.040 --> 01:14:57.560
I probably should do it again.

1167
01:14:57.900 --> 01:14:58.300
Yeah.

1168
01:15:02.220 --> 01:15:04.820
What about the other guy that you said you did go out on a date with?

1169
01:15:05.940 --> 01:15:09.480
A couple of years ago, I didn't know he was still married.

1170
01:15:11.120 --> 01:15:16.660
He was actually in the middle of going, he was waiting for his divorce court date.

1171
01:15:16.780 --> 01:15:19.260
And so this was in the fall, and it was going to be in January.

1172
01:15:19.800 --> 01:15:24.220
And so I told him, I said, Well, I'm not interested in dating someone who's married.

1173
01:15:24.780 --> 01:15:25.240
Yeah.

1174
01:15:25.240 --> 01:15:28.420
And so we quit seeing each other.

1175
01:15:29.460 --> 01:15:35.560
But he's on this dating site that I used to be on, but I still get, you know, messages,

1176
01:15:36.300 --> 01:15:40.240
you know, people, you know, you find out somebody's YouTube profile.

1177
01:15:40.400 --> 01:15:45.120
So he was sending me kind of like a poke, you know, that he was interested.

1178
01:15:46.000 --> 01:15:54.460
And although he's got my phone number, my text, and so he said that he was interested,

1179
01:15:54.460 --> 01:16:01.400
but he was kind of leaving it up to me because he was married three times, and I was a little

1180
01:16:01.600 --> 01:16:02.540
worried about it.

1181
01:16:02.540 --> 01:16:07.220
And he said his wife, this last one took him to the cleaners, although two of the wives

1182
01:16:07.220 --> 01:16:08.840
were unfaithful, for sure.

1183
01:16:11.760 --> 01:16:18.320
But I just, you know, if he's done any sort of like healing counseling, I don't know.

1184
01:16:18.320 --> 01:16:27.660
And, and he's kind of his Facebook page kind of pops up off and on and he has things posted,

1185
01:16:27.660 --> 01:16:30.260
you know, Bible scriptures and different things.

1186
01:16:30.620 --> 01:16:31.180
Yeah.

1187
01:16:31.180 --> 01:16:33.020
When, when, when was this that you met?

1188
01:16:33.080 --> 01:16:34.280
Was this a couple months ago?

1189
01:16:34.340 --> 01:16:39.860
About two years ago, I met him and then he was, he's, so he's been divorced.

1190
01:16:40.440 --> 01:16:45.040
It'll be over a year or he's, yeah, he's been divorced for a year.

1191
01:16:46.020 --> 01:16:47.980
Well, you get to decide on that one.

1192
01:16:48.040 --> 01:16:53.880
I mean, it's up to you if you want to, again, there's nothing, it's harmless just to go

1193
01:16:53.880 --> 01:16:55.840
for coffee and catch up.

1194
01:16:56.000 --> 01:17:02.540
Again, I would just be guarded, you know, it's just a get to know, see where he's at.

1195
01:17:03.160 --> 01:17:04.680
Yellow flags are there.

1196
01:17:05.560 --> 01:17:10.480
He did say what was in my court, whether, cause he said, should we, should we date?

1197
01:17:10.480 --> 01:17:14.080
He asked me and he said he was interested.

1198
01:17:15.500 --> 01:17:21.440
And he, he used to live here, I guess, when he was a kid and he moved away and came back

1199
01:17:21.440 --> 01:17:24.400
when he, so a couple of years ago.

1200
01:17:24.700 --> 01:17:29.700
So he probably doesn't have a lot of friends here and so you might just, yeah.

1201
01:17:31.680 --> 01:17:32.160
Yeah.

1202
01:17:32.220 --> 01:17:33.860
Just leave, I'm gonna leave that one up to you.

1203
01:17:33.920 --> 01:17:35.460
Spend some time with Holy Spirit on that one.

1204
01:17:35.460 --> 01:17:38.320
What, you know, what do you feel convicted to do?

1205
01:17:38.880 --> 01:17:41.680
What do you feel is healthiest for you?

1206
01:17:43.000 --> 01:17:50.820
With where you're at and your healing, again, just keep in mind, he's got yellow flags.

1207
01:17:52.240 --> 01:17:52.460
Okay.

1208
01:17:52.460 --> 01:17:57.600
You want to, you're looking for someone who is also healed because you're on this healing

1209
01:17:57.600 --> 01:17:57.960
journey.

1210
01:17:58.880 --> 01:17:59.220
Okay.

1211
01:17:59.220 --> 01:18:02.300
Remember what we believe we become, what we become, we attract.

1212
01:18:02.700 --> 01:18:03.120
Okay.

1213
01:18:03.560 --> 01:18:06.560
When we get healed, we attract healed and healthy.

1214
01:18:06.560 --> 01:18:07.360
Okay.

1215
01:18:08.060 --> 01:18:14.820
So if he's not healed and healthy, we don't want to find ourselves back into that same

1216
01:18:14.820 --> 01:18:15.300
mix.

1217
01:18:15.300 --> 01:18:16.640
We don't want to go backwards.

1218
01:18:16.800 --> 01:18:18.280
We're, we're moving forward.

1219
01:18:18.700 --> 01:18:19.220
Okay.

1220
01:18:20.180 --> 01:18:27.120
So I guess sometimes I just, I automatically decide, okay, now I don't want to get into

1221
01:18:27.120 --> 01:18:29.840
it, but I don't really know where he's at.

1222
01:18:30.120 --> 01:18:34.080
So I guess, and there's nothing wrong with going in and finding out and catching up.

1223
01:18:34.080 --> 01:18:34.560
That's what I'm saying.

1224
01:18:34.960 --> 01:18:37.360
Nothing wrong with just going and meeting for coffee.

1225
01:18:38.260 --> 01:18:44.500
As long as you can hold boundaries, okay, and you know, your limits and all that kind

1226
01:18:44.500 --> 01:18:46.920
of stuff and where you are at.

1227
01:18:47.260 --> 01:18:51.760
So just keep that in mind.

1228
01:18:52.780 --> 01:18:53.520
All right.

1229
01:18:54.740 --> 01:18:58.100
But we're good with, we're getting rid of Fred.

1230
01:18:58.860 --> 01:18:59.420
Yeah.

1231
01:18:59.820 --> 01:19:00.500
Drop dead, Fred.

1232
01:19:00.500 --> 01:19:03.160
I just aged myself there.

1233
01:19:03.220 --> 01:19:13.740
So if anybody remembers that movie, drop dead, Fred, I don't remember, but I did, I did start

1234
01:19:13.740 --> 01:19:15.380
talking to someone on the arc.

1235
01:19:15.760 --> 01:19:16.320
Okay.

1236
01:19:16.460 --> 01:19:21.540
He's a widower and he he's been widowed 10 years as I have also.

1237
01:19:24.080 --> 01:19:26.660
And yeah, it's been kind of flowing.

1238
01:19:27.280 --> 01:19:27.680
Nice.

1239
01:19:27.860 --> 01:19:28.120
Good.

1240
01:19:28.120 --> 01:19:32.160
And I just want to encourage you, you know, don't, don't be shy to drop those hankies,

1241
01:19:32.560 --> 01:19:39.400
you know, don't spend more than a week chatting on the app, get, get a video call, phone call.

1242
01:19:40.440 --> 01:19:44.600
Let's in-person dates or video calls right out the gate.

1243
01:19:44.760 --> 01:19:47.340
You know, you're here to have intentional dating.

1244
01:19:48.020 --> 01:19:48.540
Okay.

1245
01:19:48.860 --> 01:19:50.300
No more friends.

1246
01:19:50.700 --> 01:19:51.220
Okay.

1247
01:19:51.220 --> 01:19:52.580
We're not there to have pen pals.

1248
01:19:54.860 --> 01:19:59.980
Again, Ethan, I say, whether you're interested or not, maybe you're not.

1249
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.280
Maybe he'll show up as a different person

1250
01:20:02.900 --> 01:20:03.780
outside of texting.

1251
01:20:05.060 --> 01:20:06.360
Maybe he'll be a little more interesting

1252
01:20:06.360 --> 01:20:07.560
if you can get him in person.

1253
01:20:08.040 --> 01:20:09.600
And if he's not, then guess what?

1254
01:20:09.660 --> 01:20:11.300
You don't have to have a second date with him.

1255
01:20:12.640 --> 01:20:14.880
It was nice meeting you.

1256
01:20:15.740 --> 01:20:17.620
Hope you have good, you know, good luck.

1257
01:20:17.960 --> 01:20:18.680
Best of luck to you.

1258
01:20:19.820 --> 01:20:21.520
Okay, and just keep us posted.

1259
01:20:23.560 --> 01:20:26.460
All right, all right, I'm gonna take Alexandra

1260
01:20:26.460 --> 01:20:31.420
and then I think Karen was going to post in the app.

1261
01:20:32.020 --> 01:20:33.800
And then I've got Liz.

1262
01:20:34.880 --> 01:20:36.540
She's got something typed here.

1263
01:20:36.600 --> 01:20:38.540
So I wanna try to get to her.

1264
01:20:39.340 --> 01:20:43.060
My Stephanie from NYC, my Stephanie Davis.

1265
01:20:43.180 --> 01:20:45.300
I don't know if you can unmute here in a moment.

1266
01:20:45.400 --> 01:20:47.200
I wanna hear an update from you.

1267
01:20:47.560 --> 01:20:49.480
And then I want updates from Kim and Lori.

1268
01:20:49.500 --> 01:20:51.020
I'm definitely going over.

1269
01:20:51.360 --> 01:20:52.520
Don't tell on me, ladies.

1270
01:20:54.260 --> 01:20:55.240
I don't wanna get in trouble.

1271
01:20:55.240 --> 01:20:58.620
But we had a lot of ladies on today.

1272
01:20:58.660 --> 01:20:59.840
They don't typically have that.

1273
01:21:00.280 --> 01:21:02.640
So I definitely want updates.

1274
01:21:04.020 --> 01:21:06.700
So, all right, Alexandra, short, brief, powerful.

1275
01:21:07.300 --> 01:21:07.820
How are you?

1276
01:21:08.060 --> 01:21:08.500
What's going on?

1277
01:21:08.500 --> 01:21:09.220
What's your question?

1278
01:21:14.020 --> 01:21:14.980
Oh, you're muted.

1279
01:21:16.800 --> 01:21:17.380
Thank you.

1280
01:21:18.580 --> 01:21:22.240
I think I just want encouragement slash your advice on this.

1281
01:21:22.440 --> 01:21:24.720
I'll try to make it short and brief and powerful.

1282
01:21:24.720 --> 01:21:26.960
But I posted about this guy.

1283
01:21:27.240 --> 01:21:30.660
We met at the dog park, I wanna say like eight months ago.

1284
01:21:30.860 --> 01:21:34.560
And then he kind of pursued me over contact.

1285
01:21:34.860 --> 01:21:36.020
And he's like, we should hang out.

1286
01:21:36.100 --> 01:21:37.500
And I was like, that sounds great.

1287
01:21:37.780 --> 01:21:39.060
And then it never happened.

1288
01:21:39.260 --> 01:21:42.220
I kind of, I was in a very religious mindset at the time.

1289
01:21:42.360 --> 01:21:46.440
And he threw some flags in that regard.

1290
01:21:46.620 --> 01:21:50.540
So I kind of like, I just, I think it's probably my fault.

1291
01:21:50.560 --> 01:21:51.500
But we never hung out.

1292
01:21:51.500 --> 01:21:54.600
And then been liking my stories on Instagram.

1293
01:21:54.880 --> 01:21:56.520
And he like asked me a question.

1294
01:21:56.520 --> 01:21:58.800
And then being a part of this program, I was like,

1295
01:21:58.880 --> 01:22:01.340
oh, like maybe I should ask him to hang out

1296
01:22:01.340 --> 01:22:02.680
and give this another chance.

1297
01:22:04.360 --> 01:22:06.120
And looking back at our messages,

1298
01:22:06.260 --> 01:22:08.480
like he really does ask good, thoughtful

1299
01:22:08.900 --> 01:22:10.200
and intentional things.

1300
01:22:10.200 --> 01:22:14.240
And we align on things that are important to us in some ways.

1301
01:22:15.460 --> 01:22:17.760
But I think I just find myself getting

1302
01:22:17.900 --> 01:22:20.120
like overly attached early on.

1303
01:22:20.120 --> 01:22:22.760
We've been texting for like a week,

1304
01:22:23.080 --> 01:22:26.560
like pretty consistently, like every day, but not all day.

1305
01:22:26.700 --> 01:22:29.740
He'll message me like once or twice a day.

1306
01:22:30.540 --> 01:22:32.140
So as I become more interested,

1307
01:22:32.340 --> 01:22:35.560
that's been really hard to like stop thinking about

1308
01:22:35.760 --> 01:22:39.120
and not overthink.

1309
01:22:40.580 --> 01:22:44.160
But we did make a plan to hang out this weekend on Saturday.

1310
01:22:44.500 --> 01:22:46.400
He never solidified a time.

1311
01:22:46.480 --> 01:22:48.760
He said maybe like afternoon or evening.

1312
01:22:48.760 --> 01:22:51.580
So now I'm debating because I'm like the more,

1313
01:22:51.980 --> 01:22:53.640
I feel like I'm the more interested one

1314
01:22:53.640 --> 01:22:55.560
and we don't have a set time.

1315
01:22:55.900 --> 01:22:59.620
I'm like, should I like, is it okay to confirm like a time

1316
01:22:59.620 --> 01:23:01.500
so I can plan the rest of my weekend?

1317
01:23:01.620 --> 01:23:03.560
Or am I too like?

1318
01:23:04.540 --> 01:23:05.060
I would.

1319
01:23:05.720 --> 01:23:07.140
Ladies, I don't see anything wrong with that.

1320
01:23:07.200 --> 01:23:10.260
Like, I don't like this, like, should I wait?

1321
01:23:10.560 --> 01:23:10.900
Should I not?

1322
01:23:11.760 --> 01:23:15.440
Like y'all, cause I'm someone,

1323
01:23:15.600 --> 01:23:17.760
I like to know what my schedule is.

1324
01:23:18.760 --> 01:23:20.140
I don't see anything wrong.

1325
01:23:20.140 --> 01:23:23.860
Like, hey, I'm trying to set up my day.

1326
01:23:23.880 --> 01:23:27.840
I want to make sure that I don't overbook myself.

1327
01:23:28.540 --> 01:23:30.220
What time is going to work for you on Saturday?

1328
01:23:30.460 --> 01:23:31.040
Have you decided?

1329
01:23:32.800 --> 01:23:32.800


1330
01:23:32.940 --> 01:23:35.500
And then let him tell you.

1331
01:23:35.640 --> 01:23:35.920
Okay.

1332
01:23:35.920 --> 01:23:38.020
Cause I don't want you not to go do like,

1333
01:23:38.020 --> 01:23:40.200
if you have other things that you want to go do,

1334
01:23:40.240 --> 01:23:41.400
make sure you do that.

1335
01:23:41.520 --> 01:23:41.960
Yeah.

1336
01:23:42.340 --> 01:23:44.600
Like, go make time for that.

1337
01:23:46.540 --> 01:23:48.960
Are you, so you met him at a dog park.

1338
01:23:49.180 --> 01:23:50.940
You didn't meet him on an app or anything like that.

1339
01:23:50.980 --> 01:23:52.360
This is at a dog park.

1340
01:23:52.920 --> 01:23:54.340
So this was like a week ago.

1341
01:23:54.440 --> 01:23:58.360
You decided to reach back out to him.

1342
01:23:58.500 --> 01:24:00.040
Yeah. It's maybe been two weeks.

1343
01:24:00.340 --> 01:24:01.440
It's maybe been two weeks.

1344
01:24:01.520 --> 01:24:01.860
Yeah.

1345
01:24:02.140 --> 01:24:06.400
But you met him in person eight months ago.

1346
01:24:06.540 --> 01:24:08.500
Yeah. And it was a really good conversation.

1347
01:24:08.580 --> 01:24:11.160
It's just all been going well.

1348
01:24:11.220 --> 01:24:13.180
He's just really slow, which is fine.

1349
01:24:13.480 --> 01:24:14.000
That's fine.

1350
01:24:14.000 --> 01:24:15.900
Again, that's totally, that's really good.

1351
01:24:18.420 --> 01:24:20.720
So you're overthinking it.

1352
01:24:20.720 --> 01:24:22.860
He's constantly on your mind.

1353
01:24:22.920 --> 01:24:23.980
Just the past few days.

1354
01:24:23.980 --> 01:24:25.680
Once I realized I liked him,

1355
01:24:26.300 --> 01:24:27.940
like before I was kind of whatever.

1356
01:24:28.060 --> 01:24:29.760
And then I was like, oh, I like this guy.

1357
01:24:30.000 --> 01:24:32.940
Are you dating or talking or online

1358
01:24:32.940 --> 01:24:35.780
or doing anything else to try to get to know other people?

1359
01:24:36.100 --> 01:24:37.720
I was before this.

1360
01:24:37.760 --> 01:24:40.260
And now I find it hard because I just,

1361
01:24:40.260 --> 01:24:41.520
I'm like not interested.

1362
01:24:41.680 --> 01:24:42.200
I just want to-

1363
01:24:42.200 --> 01:24:43.720
Now you're just like focused on one person.

1364
01:24:43.720 --> 01:24:46.120
So that's why our minds can just like

1365
01:24:46.120 --> 01:24:47.300
quickly go to one person.

1366
01:24:47.800 --> 01:24:50.860
That's one of the reasons why we actually do encourage you

1367
01:24:50.860 --> 01:24:52.600
like in this stage of dating,

1368
01:24:53.200 --> 01:24:56.600
be open to just getting to know people for people.

1369
01:24:57.160 --> 01:24:59.320
So that way we're not like,

1370
01:24:59.580 --> 01:24:59.980
cause if you-

1371
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.600
are someone that can easily get attached. I was, I was someone

1372
01:25:05.600 --> 01:25:08.900
like when I was interested in someone, like, that's all I

1373
01:25:08.900 --> 01:25:15.760
could think about. Yeah. Same. I had to like really guard myself

1374
01:25:15.760 --> 01:25:21.280
with that. So it was helpful if I had other distractions. So I

1375
01:25:21.280 --> 01:25:26.900
didn't find myself in a cycle of just thinking about like I made

1376
01:25:26.900 --> 01:25:30.640
myself busy with other things. So whether you have people that

1377
01:25:30.800 --> 01:25:34.560
you're talking to, or getting to know, is there anything else

1378
01:25:34.560 --> 01:25:37.640
you can be doing in your life that you can distract yourself

1379
01:25:37.580 --> 01:25:42.200
with? Occupy your time with? Yeah, I need to find I'm trying

1380
01:25:42.200 --> 01:25:47.100
to I had a coffee date with my mom at 6am this morning. So I

1381
01:25:47.100 --> 01:25:52.140
was like, someone talked to me. Fine. Plan, you know, phone

1382
01:25:52.160 --> 01:25:57.000
calls with friends, like hang out with the movies, like call a

1383
01:25:57.000 --> 01:25:59.300
friend that's long distance that you haven't talked to in a

1384
01:25:59.300 --> 01:26:05.040
while. Yeah, like, go for a run, go for a walk, like, whatever it

1385
01:26:05.040 --> 01:26:08.800
is that you need to do, like, is there a project or something

1386
01:26:08.800 --> 01:26:12.260
that God's put on you to like, do what's part of your destiny

1387
01:26:12.260 --> 01:26:16.720
DNA stuff? Like, lately, God's been speaking to me about, like

1388
01:26:16.720 --> 01:26:19.940
he's spoken this long time ago that I was gonna write a book

1389
01:26:19.940 --> 01:26:22.200
and I'm like, No, there's no way because I am not a writer,

1390
01:26:22.600 --> 01:26:27.180
y'all. And lately, he's been like, sparking me to do that

1391
01:26:27.180 --> 01:26:29.520
again. And I'm like, there's no way I too much on my plate right

1392
01:26:29.380 --> 01:26:33.360
now. Yeah, is there's things like that where you could be

1393
01:26:33.360 --> 01:26:36.900
like, okay, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna invest my time in doing

1394
01:26:37.380 --> 01:26:43.680
this. Whatever that is, fine, simple things that you can do to

1395
01:26:43.680 --> 01:26:48.060
distract your time. Don't hesitate to say, hey, about

1396
01:26:48.060 --> 01:26:54.660
this Saturday. Um, actually give him two times. Does I mean,

1397
01:26:54.680 --> 01:26:59.240
I'm gonna throw out two times. Does two o'clock work or six

1398
01:26:59.240 --> 01:27:05.660
o'clock work for you? Yeah. Let him know. Let him pick. Yeah,

1399
01:27:05.660 --> 01:27:09.840
two times that work for you. And let him pick one. Okay. I'm

1400
01:27:10.200 --> 01:27:12.500
like, nervous. It's not gonna happen. Because last time it

1401
01:27:12.500 --> 01:27:15.700
never happened. So but so I'm kind of nervous when I offer a

1402
01:27:15.700 --> 01:27:18.940
and he's gonna be like, what if it doesn't, and there's any

1403
01:27:18.880 --> 01:27:21.880
disappointment? Guess what? You have a community here. Yeah, we

1404
01:27:21.880 --> 01:27:24.020
can walk you through it. We can walk you through the

1405
01:27:23.920 --> 01:27:30.140
disappointment. Yeah, I'm gonna be sad. Yep. Trust me. We've

1406
01:27:30.380 --> 01:27:34.660
we've done that. Yeah, I've been through the disappointment. I've

1407
01:27:34.660 --> 01:27:41.300
been through the sad. So we got you. Thank you. God, ladies. God

1408
01:27:41.300 --> 01:27:45.480
uses every single one of these dating opportunities to grow and

1409
01:27:45.480 --> 01:27:50.300
heal and upgrade you. I promise. Mm hmm. Okay. Nothing

1410
01:27:50.300 --> 01:27:54.660
gets wasted. Nothing. Even on the guys that are not our spirit

1411
01:27:54.660 --> 01:27:59.780
mates. Nothing gets wasted. Okay, that's encouraging. Thank

1412
01:27:59.780 --> 01:28:03.620
you. Keep us updated. Keep us posted. Okay, Liz, I'm going to

1413
01:28:03.620 --> 01:28:05.640
read your your thing here. Actually, I think there was

1414
01:28:05.640 --> 01:28:08.360
somebody else and then Kim and Lori, I want to hear updates

1415
01:28:08.360 --> 01:28:13.560
from you too. And then okay, Stephanie. Okay, good. I'm glad

1416
01:28:13.560 --> 01:28:18.600
Ashley, this is helpful for you. Um, I love that you're

1417
01:28:18.600 --> 01:28:22.320
growing and giving is she still on? Oh, and Stephanie, are you

1418
01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:29.000
able to unmute Stephanie Davis? My girl Stephanie Davis, I want

1419
01:28:29.000 --> 01:28:32.360
an update from you too, girl. Okay, Stephanie NYC. At what

1420
01:28:32.360 --> 01:28:34.860
point do we shift gears from just going on a date without

1421
01:28:34.860 --> 01:28:37.880
being interested to dating intentionally? Like I'm

1422
01:28:38.540 --> 01:28:42.420
attracted and there's potential not just man, let's just go. It

1423
01:28:42.420 --> 01:28:45.480
is always give a guy at least one day I'm getting frustrated

1424
01:28:45.480 --> 01:28:52.860
and tired. So yeah, I say, um, give yourself at least at least

1425
01:28:52.860 --> 01:28:55.980
two dates with someone that you're not sure you're

1426
01:28:55.980 --> 01:29:00.960
interested in. I try to tell you ladies stretch it to three. Okay,

1427
01:29:01.300 --> 01:29:04.480
be open to three. But if you're just like, I don't have it in

1428
01:29:04.480 --> 01:29:11.360
me. Like there's no hard rule there. Okay. Um, if after two or

1429
01:29:11.360 --> 01:29:16.540
three dates, like there's just not an interest, it's okay to

1430
01:29:16.540 --> 01:29:22.620
move on. All right, it's totally okay. Now, if there's stuff

1431
01:29:22.620 --> 01:29:29.140
that's coming up, or you're seeing a pattern of things, then

1432
01:29:29.140 --> 01:29:31.660
let's bring it here in community. And let's see if

1433
01:29:31.660 --> 01:29:34.820
God's is just trying to invite you into an area to uncover

1434
01:29:34.820 --> 01:29:43.760
something. Okay, does that help? Stephanie? Okay. So yeah, don't

1435
01:29:43.760 --> 01:29:47.680
I mean, don't make this don't make this dating process like

1436
01:29:47.680 --> 01:29:55.700
not fun. If it's not fun, let's Yeah, like, this, this doesn't

1437
01:29:55.700 --> 01:29:59.980
need to be like, not enjoyable. Because it's

1438
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.080
It's going to drain you.

1439
01:30:01.920 --> 01:30:05.260
It's not good for you.

1440
01:30:05.640 --> 01:30:06.980
It's not good for your well-being.

1441
01:30:07.420 --> 01:30:10.940
If you're not having fun with it, if you need to press pause,

1442
01:30:11.060 --> 01:30:12.000
you can press pause.

1443
01:30:13.320 --> 01:30:15.340
Press pause for a week or two if you need to.

1444
01:30:16.720 --> 01:30:18.780
I don't encourage you ladies to press pause

1445
01:30:18.780 --> 01:30:20.280
for a long period of time.

1446
01:30:21.080 --> 01:30:23.140
But if you need to recharge, recharge.

1447
01:30:23.180 --> 01:30:25.460
Y'all, I'm an ambivert.

1448
01:30:25.460 --> 01:30:30.520
Like, I recharge by myself, but I like being out.

1449
01:30:30.940 --> 01:30:32.740
But there's times where I'm like, I literally

1450
01:30:32.740 --> 01:30:34.400
just need a week to myself.

1451
01:30:36.740 --> 01:30:38.760
And that just has to be OK.

1452
01:30:40.060 --> 01:30:42.340
And if you need to take a week or two just

1453
01:30:43.640 --> 01:30:48.000
to get yourself on track, that is OK.

1454
01:30:50.420 --> 01:30:53.140
You can't pour from an empty cup, ladies.

1455
01:30:55.460 --> 01:30:57.700
So if you need to rest, recharge,

1456
01:30:58.380 --> 01:30:59.440
spend time with Holy Spirit.

1457
01:30:59.940 --> 01:31:01.980
I know when I'm feeling depleted,

1458
01:31:02.480 --> 01:31:06.040
and I don't have the energy, and I'm just exhausted and over it,

1459
01:31:06.560 --> 01:31:08.940
a lot of times it's because I haven't really

1460
01:31:08.940 --> 01:31:10.320
spent a lot of time with my Heavenly Father.

1461
01:31:11.980 --> 01:31:14.460
My therapist actually called me out for that last week.

1462
01:31:15.260 --> 01:31:18.620
And I was like, oh, that's what's

1463
01:31:18.620 --> 01:31:21.080
different about this week as opposed to the week before.

1464
01:31:22.320 --> 01:31:24.600
I was like, things were going great the week before.

1465
01:31:24.600 --> 01:31:27.180
Like, why all of a sudden am I like this crazy, you know?

1466
01:31:27.580 --> 01:31:31.940
And she's like, well, I know when I kind of am distracted

1467
01:31:31.940 --> 01:31:34.560
and I don't get to spend time with Holy Spirit as much.

1468
01:31:34.900 --> 01:31:37.100
And as soon as she said that, I was like,

1469
01:31:37.140 --> 01:31:39.300
oh, I'm getting called out right now.

1470
01:31:39.620 --> 01:31:42.740
So if you need to recharge, allow yourself to recharge.

1471
01:31:44.000 --> 01:31:47.220
But after two or three dates, it's not there.

1472
01:31:47.240 --> 01:31:48.820
You don't have to keep forcing yourself.

1473
01:31:48.820 --> 01:31:49.580
OK?

1474
01:31:51.280 --> 01:31:54.480
Allow God to direct you.

1475
01:31:54.940 --> 01:31:56.520
What is He trying to reveal to you?

1476
01:31:56.800 --> 01:31:58.980
What does He want you?

1477
01:32:00.020 --> 01:32:02.600
What does He want to allow surface

1478
01:32:02.780 --> 01:32:04.320
in these opportunities?

1479
01:32:05.420 --> 01:32:05.800
OK?

1480
01:32:06.940 --> 01:32:10.420
And Liz, so you asked about your neighbor in the app.

1481
01:32:10.520 --> 01:32:11.700
OK, I'll have to go back.

1482
01:32:13.260 --> 01:32:14.880
I should give him a chance, go on a date.

1483
01:32:14.880 --> 01:32:18.740
Ebony encouraged me to do it while checking the 3Ms.

1484
01:32:18.980 --> 01:32:20.260
Unfortunately, we couldn't go out.

1485
01:32:20.580 --> 01:32:21.280
We canceled it.

1486
01:32:21.620 --> 01:32:24.540
And then he told me maybe I should go to his home.

1487
01:32:24.880 --> 01:32:25.420
OK?

1488
01:32:25.840 --> 01:32:29.320
That turned me off even more because I actually don't like.

1489
01:32:29.460 --> 01:32:31.860
I mean, I've never felt any attraction towards him.

1490
01:32:31.880 --> 01:32:33.140
I just wanted to give him a chance.

1491
01:32:33.580 --> 01:32:34.120
OK.

1492
01:32:34.120 --> 01:32:36.820
So I've been thinking, is it that I

1493
01:32:36.820 --> 01:32:38.940
am reading too much into his statement

1494
01:32:38.940 --> 01:32:41.240
or just giving myself a reason not to like him more?

1495
01:32:41.660 --> 01:32:42.160
OK.

1496
01:32:42.780 --> 01:32:45.140
Liz, oh, there you are.

1497
01:32:45.740 --> 01:32:46.100
Hey.

1498
01:32:47.240 --> 01:32:50.140
I don't like that he invited you to go to his house.

1499
01:32:50.340 --> 01:32:51.340
Don't go to his house.

1500
01:32:52.880 --> 01:32:53.760
I don't like that.

1501
01:32:54.760 --> 01:32:56.260
Is that what's kind of turning you off,

1502
01:32:57.080 --> 01:33:00.280
like being somewhere alone with someone you still really

1503
01:33:00.280 --> 01:33:00.740
don't know?

1504
01:33:00.780 --> 01:33:01.800
I mean, I get it, he's your neighbor,

1505
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:03.480
but you still probably, like, I'm

1506
01:33:03.480 --> 01:33:04.840
guessing you still don't really know him, do you?

1507
01:33:10.700 --> 01:33:11.380
OK.

1508
01:33:11.380 --> 01:33:14.220
We have been neighbors for almost three years.

1509
01:33:14.840 --> 01:33:15.180
OK.

1510
01:33:15.780 --> 01:33:17.380
And we had history.

1511
01:33:17.920 --> 01:33:20.180
I once dated his friend.

1512
01:33:20.900 --> 01:33:21.160
OK.

1513
01:33:22.140 --> 01:33:25.940
So then he told me he wants to date me this year.

1514
01:33:26.040 --> 01:33:30.180
I told him I don't like the history we had before

1515
01:33:30.560 --> 01:33:33.280
because his friend got married and they

1516
01:33:33.460 --> 01:33:35.360
knew that he was marrying someone else,

1517
01:33:35.740 --> 01:33:37.620
but they kept it away from me.

1518
01:33:38.260 --> 01:33:41.460
So somehow it took time for me to forgive them.

1519
01:33:42.760 --> 01:33:46.320
Then later he comes saying that he wants to date me

1520
01:33:46.520 --> 01:33:47.560
and marry me.

1521
01:33:47.960 --> 01:33:49.880
So I asked in the group, and then everybody

1522
01:33:51.220 --> 01:33:54.420
told me to give him a chance.

1523
01:33:55.400 --> 01:33:56.640
How is it that men do that?

1524
01:33:56.800 --> 01:33:58.520
Like, they want to marry you.

1525
01:33:59.240 --> 01:34:01.580
Like, why do you guys do that, ladies?

1526
01:34:01.580 --> 01:34:02.200
Why?

1527
01:34:06.160 --> 01:34:08.100
But really, I don't like him.

1528
01:34:08.840 --> 01:34:11.400
I've never felt an attraction towards him.

1529
01:34:11.960 --> 01:34:12.400
OK.

1530
01:34:13.160 --> 01:34:16.920
And him telling me to go to his home, I think he's serious,

1531
01:34:17.040 --> 01:34:20.640
but he's just kind of giving me hints.

1532
01:34:22.700 --> 01:34:24.980
Sometimes he's telling me, maybe you could come at my home

1533
01:34:25.080 --> 01:34:25.660
and cook.

1534
01:34:25.980 --> 01:34:28.320
And I tell him, no, that's not going to happen.

1535
01:34:28.960 --> 01:34:31.620
Oh, he wants you to come to his house to cook for him?

1536
01:34:33.080 --> 01:34:33.660
Yeah.

1537
01:34:34.200 --> 01:34:35.100
Yeah, no.

1538
01:34:36.440 --> 01:34:37.600
No, no.

1539
01:34:38.200 --> 01:34:42.820
Yeah, I'm getting the vibe that you really just don't.

1540
01:34:43.380 --> 01:34:44.620
You're not interested, are you?

1541
01:34:45.780 --> 01:34:46.440
I'm not.

1542
01:34:46.980 --> 01:34:48.400
No, it's OK.

1543
01:34:48.480 --> 01:34:51.840
You tried, and it got canceled.

1544
01:34:53.420 --> 01:34:55.580
You don't need to go to his home and cook for him.

1545
01:34:56.640 --> 01:34:57.700
And here's the thing.

1546
01:34:57.780 --> 01:34:58.360
He's your neighbor.

1547
01:34:58.820 --> 01:34:59.260
What?

1548
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.820
What I, my gut is telling me is if he doesn't take a hint,

1549
01:35:05.980 --> 01:35:07.740
you can't get away from your neighbor.

1550
01:35:09.080 --> 01:35:11.020
So let's not open a door.

1551
01:35:11.020 --> 01:35:13.480
He's not my neighbor, he used to be my neighbor.

1552
01:35:13.600 --> 01:35:14.960
Oh, used to be, okay.

1553
01:35:15.220 --> 01:35:17.180
Yeah. Yes.

1554
01:35:17.600 --> 01:35:21.840
If you are not feeling it, you don't have to force it.

1555
01:35:21.960 --> 01:35:23.800
You get to make that choice.

1556
01:35:24.740 --> 01:35:26.920
How else are you getting out to meet people?

1557
01:35:28.400 --> 01:35:29.960
It's a bit difficult.

1558
01:35:30.240 --> 01:35:33.000
Yeah. Where, where are you at?

1559
01:35:37.000 --> 01:35:39.820
I live in, I'm in Tanzania.

1560
01:35:40.280 --> 01:35:42.320
Okay. That's, I knew you were somewhere.

1561
01:35:43.080 --> 01:35:43.760
Okay.

1562
01:35:43.760 --> 01:35:45.480
And that's, is that,

1563
01:35:45.500 --> 01:35:47.880
that's probably why it's a little challenging, isn't it?

1564
01:35:47.880 --> 01:35:51.540
It's just different, different dating scene.

1565
01:35:52.860 --> 01:35:54.820
Yeah. It's different.

1566
01:35:55.160 --> 01:35:55.660
Yeah.

1567
01:35:55.660 --> 01:35:57.360
So a lot of guys here,

1568
01:35:57.960 --> 01:36:01.020
they like inviting ladies at their homes.

1569
01:36:01.820 --> 01:36:05.660
Even you, you might meet someone only in a week

1570
01:36:05.660 --> 01:36:08.080
and he's already inviting you at his home.

1571
01:36:08.160 --> 01:36:09.580
So it's a bit challenging.

1572
01:36:09.840 --> 01:36:11.300
Sometimes I feel like,

1573
01:36:11.440 --> 01:36:14.760
will I ever meet someone who is maybe like me,

1574
01:36:14.760 --> 01:36:17.220
who doesn't want to have sex before marriage

1575
01:36:17.620 --> 01:36:20.620
or someone who is willing to get to know someone

1576
01:36:20.620 --> 01:36:21.480
really well?

1577
01:36:22.240 --> 01:36:23.240
Mm-hmm.

1578
01:36:23.500 --> 01:36:27.840
Can I ask you, is, is that a culture thing?

1579
01:36:27.880 --> 01:36:29.080
Like, do the men over there,

1580
01:36:29.120 --> 01:36:31.580
like, is it like where the women do,

1581
01:36:32.140 --> 01:36:34.280
like to do the domestic thing?

1582
01:36:35.120 --> 01:36:36.880
Is that like expected?

1583
01:36:38.300 --> 01:36:41.300
Yeah. It's like expected for us to cook for them,

1584
01:36:41.500 --> 01:36:42.820
to do a lot of stuff for men.

1585
01:36:42.820 --> 01:36:45.780
That makes more sense than why he would ask you to do that.

1586
01:36:47.880 --> 01:36:48.380
Okay.

1587
01:36:49.080 --> 01:36:50.340
This is interesting.

1588
01:36:52.340 --> 01:36:56.540
Can I, can I take this to the team

1589
01:36:56.780 --> 01:36:59.720
and see if I can't get like Bethany or Jackie

1590
01:36:59.720 --> 01:37:01.400
to give feedback on this?

1591
01:37:01.400 --> 01:37:02.880
Cause I'd be interested

1592
01:37:02.880 --> 01:37:05.180
because I think some of this is culture stuff.

1593
01:37:05.380 --> 01:37:06.800
And I want to,

1594
01:37:06.940 --> 01:37:12.620
I want to learn more about how we can best coach you ladies

1595
01:37:12.660 --> 01:37:14.320
that have some different,

1596
01:37:15.060 --> 01:37:18.080
like, especially with men coming from a different background

1597
01:37:18.080 --> 01:37:20.000
that's going to have these different expectations.

1598
01:37:23.700 --> 01:37:26.640
Where like, cause yeah, like for me,

1599
01:37:26.640 --> 01:37:29.460
I'm like coming to your house and cooking for you.

1600
01:37:30.600 --> 01:37:33.480
But I can understand like, if that's a culture thing,

1601
01:37:33.800 --> 01:37:36.020
but if you don't want to do that,

1602
01:37:36.080 --> 01:37:38.740
like, like how, like, how do you do that?

1603
01:37:39.760 --> 01:37:39.760


1604
01:37:42.740 --> 01:37:43.260
Yeah.

1605
01:37:44.220 --> 01:37:47.040
Like, do you at church, do you guys,

1606
01:37:47.520 --> 01:37:49.340
do you guys date within church?

1607
01:37:49.420 --> 01:37:50.940
Like, do you connect in community?

1608
01:37:50.940 --> 01:37:53.000
Is that something that is?

1609
01:37:55.680 --> 01:37:58.020
It's not something that is open,

1610
01:37:58.080 --> 01:38:01.780
like single groups are not there in church or yeah.

1611
01:38:01.780 --> 01:38:05.480
So you just meet someone outside church or in church.

1612
01:38:05.820 --> 01:38:08.840
They don't encourage such relationships.

1613
01:38:09.640 --> 01:38:10.540
So it's somehow,

1614
01:38:10.600 --> 01:38:13.840
even our parents don't encourage such relationships,

1615
01:38:14.160 --> 01:38:15.880
especially when you are young.

1616
01:38:16.320 --> 01:38:19.840
So it's something that we do behind their backs.

1617
01:38:21.000 --> 01:38:23.220
Until you reach a certain age,

1618
01:38:23.680 --> 01:38:25.320
it's when they start asking maybe,

1619
01:38:25.460 --> 01:38:28.620
why are you not married or why you're not seeing anything?

1620
01:38:29.280 --> 01:38:30.780
But it's something that-

1621
01:38:30.780 --> 01:38:33.680
But your parents are really there to kind of direct you,

1622
01:38:33.780 --> 01:38:34.180
are they?

1623
01:38:35.420 --> 01:38:37.700
Yeah, they don't direct us.

1624
01:38:37.780 --> 01:38:39.860
Okay, so yeah, that gets, that's challenging.

1625
01:38:39.940 --> 01:38:41.780
I can understand why that's difficult.

1626
01:38:42.700 --> 01:38:45.100
Like, if it's not modeled for you, like what,

1627
01:38:45.100 --> 01:38:46.200
like what do you do?

1628
01:38:48.200 --> 01:38:48.720
Okay.

1629
01:38:48.720 --> 01:38:54.100
So it's not our culture for parents to talk to us

1630
01:38:54.100 --> 01:38:56.100
about dating or this kind of thing.

1631
01:38:57.840 --> 01:38:57.880
Yeah.

1632
01:38:58.040 --> 01:39:01.900
So you learn it from internet and other places.

1633
01:39:02.300 --> 01:39:06.080
And you are, you're not relocating, you will stay,

1634
01:39:06.200 --> 01:39:07.900
or are you open to relocating?

1635
01:39:08.240 --> 01:39:11.100
Like, what's your, what's God calling you?

1636
01:39:12.660 --> 01:39:17.660
I love staying in Tanzania, but I can relocate, it's okay.

1637
01:39:17.680 --> 01:39:18.160
Okay.

1638
01:39:18.160 --> 01:39:20.220
I love traveling, yeah.

1639
01:39:20.340 --> 01:39:24.300
Yeah, I'm gonna reach out to Jackie and Bethany,

1640
01:39:24.520 --> 01:39:27.080
and I wanna, cause I think this will be a good opportunity

1641
01:39:27.080 --> 01:39:30.980
to kind of learn more about how we can better serve you

1642
01:39:31.060 --> 01:39:34.160
and other ladies that we serve

1643
01:39:34.240 --> 01:39:35.960
that come from different cultures.

1644
01:39:38.120 --> 01:39:40.660
But I don't want you to feel like

1645
01:39:40.660 --> 01:39:42.260
you have to go on a date with somebody

1646
01:39:42.260 --> 01:39:44.920
that you are not feeling, okay?

1647
01:39:44.980 --> 01:39:46.140
Okay, thank you so much.

1648
01:39:46.140 --> 01:39:48.760
So I don't, I wanna release you from that.

1649
01:39:48.760 --> 01:39:50.560
Cause I'm getting this feeling like,

1650
01:39:50.900 --> 01:39:53.260
you feel like you have to, cause you have to go on a date,

1651
01:39:53.360 --> 01:39:55.080
but you just really don't want to.

1652
01:39:55.200 --> 01:39:57.100
And I don't want you to put yourself in a situation

1653
01:39:57.100 --> 01:39:59.980
that you don't wanna be in, okay?

1654
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:01.800
Okay, thank you so much.

1655
01:40:01.900 --> 01:40:04.020
I feel like, I feel like as soon as I said that,

1656
01:40:04.140 --> 01:40:05.560
you're like, thank you.

1657
01:40:07.340 --> 01:40:07.740
Yeah.

1658
01:40:09.040 --> 01:40:10.860
So you're a leased girl.

1659
01:40:12.180 --> 01:40:12.840
Thank you.

1660
01:40:13.160 --> 01:40:14.080
You are welcome.

1661
01:40:17.520 --> 01:40:19.480
All right, Stephanie, can you unmute?

1662
01:40:19.600 --> 01:40:20.800
I want an update from you,

1663
01:40:20.800 --> 01:40:21.920
and then I want an update from Kim,

1664
01:40:21.920 --> 01:40:23.140
and I want an update from Lori.

1665
01:40:23.520 --> 01:40:25.980
And I know I'm going so late,

1666
01:40:26.160 --> 01:40:28.000
but ladies, if you have to jump off, you can.

1667
01:40:28.000 --> 01:40:29.740
I'm not holding you hostage here.

1668
01:40:30.040 --> 01:40:31.520
I don't want to get in trouble.

1669
01:40:33.320 --> 01:40:35.300
I want an update from you all.

1670
01:40:36.240 --> 01:40:36.240


1671
01:40:36.560 --> 01:40:37.880
I've missed you, girl.

1672
01:40:38.180 --> 01:40:41.240
Yeah, I've been, so it's the one o'clock,

1673
01:40:41.280 --> 01:40:41.920
sometimes I don't get,

1674
01:40:41.940 --> 01:40:43.540
but today I was like, I moved intentionally.

1675
01:40:44.040 --> 01:40:45.140
I'm gonna try to get on,

1676
01:40:45.180 --> 01:40:47.580
because I haven't seen this girl face in months.

1677
01:40:48.160 --> 01:40:49.360
Are you coming to the anniversary?

1678
01:40:50.820 --> 01:40:53.160
No, I'm so sorry.

1679
01:40:53.660 --> 01:40:55.660
No, I didn't make any plans to come.

1680
01:40:56.260 --> 01:40:59.620
So for my update, I have not been on,

1681
01:40:59.740 --> 01:41:01.560
I've not been talking to anyone,

1682
01:41:01.920 --> 01:41:03.940
and I didn't take a break.

1683
01:41:04.500 --> 01:41:05.860
It's just that, I don't know if you know,

1684
01:41:05.960 --> 01:41:07.480
but I run my own company.

1685
01:41:08.340 --> 01:41:10.960
And so, and then I work on weekends to supplement

1686
01:41:10.960 --> 01:41:14.900
when there is no funds coming as quickly as I want to.

1687
01:41:16.760 --> 01:41:19.460
So it's just like, in the summer,

1688
01:41:19.680 --> 01:41:22.300
God just take me through this whole thing

1689
01:41:22.300 --> 01:41:23.620
where it just now started,

1690
01:41:23.620 --> 01:41:25.980
the company just started to grow, grow, grow.

1691
01:41:26.240 --> 01:41:30.100
And so I've been so busy trying to do that.

1692
01:41:30.340 --> 01:41:33.120
But then I felt, it's that you, when you,

1693
01:41:33.180 --> 01:41:34.020
no, you made me cry.

1694
01:41:34.120 --> 01:41:37.680
When you said that dream you got earlier,

1695
01:41:38.300 --> 01:41:39.580
it was so, what you talk about,

1696
01:41:39.660 --> 01:41:41.200
I don't remember who sister asked it,

1697
01:41:41.200 --> 01:41:43.220
but it was so much for me,

1698
01:41:43.580 --> 01:41:46.160
because a couple of months ago, I had a dream.

1699
01:41:46.780 --> 01:41:49.360
I was so busy working, working, working,

1700
01:41:49.860 --> 01:41:52.400
and this guy came to the fence,

1701
01:41:52.400 --> 01:41:55.360
and I have this, so please lady, don't bash me.

1702
01:41:55.900 --> 01:41:58.780
I thought, I said I was gonna marry a black guy again.

1703
01:41:58.940 --> 01:42:00.120
I wasn't gonna date any,

1704
01:42:00.720 --> 01:42:03.760
I was gonna marry white, in my head.

1705
01:42:04.220 --> 01:42:06.900
And so I was like, but in the dream,

1706
01:42:07.060 --> 01:42:08.740
this was a black guy, he was in,

1707
01:42:09.000 --> 01:42:10.320
I think he was in blue.

1708
01:42:10.480 --> 01:42:12.700
He had a light blue shirt and a light blue shorts,

1709
01:42:13.180 --> 01:42:14.020
couldn't see his face.

1710
01:42:14.640 --> 01:42:16.540
And he was like, but he came there

1711
01:42:16.540 --> 01:42:18.100
to have for us to go on a date.

1712
01:42:18.140 --> 01:42:20.060
And I was like so busy doing my work.

1713
01:42:20.060 --> 01:42:23.320
I was like, I'm so busy, I, you know, he was like,

1714
01:42:23.320 --> 01:42:25.200
then all of a sudden I was on this bed,

1715
01:42:25.720 --> 01:42:27.520
and he came through the gate,

1716
01:42:28.260 --> 01:42:30.320
and I thought he was gonna do something

1717
01:42:31.040 --> 01:42:32.100
inappropriate with me.

1718
01:42:32.100 --> 01:42:33.240
Because I was like, oh my God,

1719
01:42:34.140 --> 01:42:35.900
this is not where I thought he was go.

1720
01:42:36.320 --> 01:42:38.340
But he put his hand on my side,

1721
01:42:38.380 --> 01:42:40.480
and he said, I am bone of your bone,

1722
01:42:40.560 --> 01:42:41.440
and flesh of your flesh.

1723
01:42:41.500 --> 01:42:43.360
And he said, I'm your husband.

1724
01:42:43.940 --> 01:42:46.640
And then he said to me, I said, you're my husband?

1725
01:42:46.720 --> 01:42:48.300
He said, you thought I was gonna do something different?

1726
01:42:48.300 --> 01:42:50.700
And I said, yes, I thought you were gonna do something.

1727
01:42:50.780 --> 01:42:52.640
And he said, no, I'm your husband.

1728
01:42:52.720 --> 01:42:54.000
I'm here to support you.

1729
01:42:54.080 --> 01:42:55.900
But I couldn't see who he looked like.

1730
01:42:55.900 --> 01:42:57.300
I don't know what he looks like.

1731
01:42:57.540 --> 01:43:00.340
And so when you share that, I was like, okay, God,

1732
01:43:01.080 --> 01:43:02.700
you know, cause you just been getting different way.

1733
01:43:02.720 --> 01:43:05.680
And then even with Saturday, when Jackie was talking,

1734
01:43:06.260 --> 01:43:08.680
that week God has been speaking to me with Genesis,

1735
01:43:09.000 --> 01:43:12.540
I'm sorry, Genesis with second Kings seven.

1736
01:43:13.000 --> 01:43:15.500
And you know, I was like, it was, she's not even,

1737
01:43:15.500 --> 01:43:20.260
I was like, is there a camera in my house who called her?

1738
01:43:20.380 --> 01:43:24.280
But everything God was dealing with that week was like,

1739
01:43:24.520 --> 01:43:27.060
it was, you know, so I got back on the calls.

1740
01:43:27.180 --> 01:43:28.440
I'm like, I'm not intentional.

1741
01:43:28.680 --> 01:43:29.860
I said, okay, I'm gonna work at it.

1742
01:43:29.860 --> 01:43:31.260
So like everything that you were blessing,

1743
01:43:31.420 --> 01:43:34.360
everybody was like, I needed to hear those things

1744
01:43:34.460 --> 01:43:36.560
to be, you know, to be back in land line.

1745
01:43:36.760 --> 01:43:39.040
And cause you know, cause I really want to get married.

1746
01:43:39.160 --> 01:43:40.440
I really do.

1747
01:43:40.840 --> 01:43:43.200
It's not like I don't want to, but it's just like,

1748
01:43:43.200 --> 01:43:44.340
you know, it's me alone.

1749
01:43:44.340 --> 01:43:45.640
And I even tell God, I said,

1750
01:43:45.660 --> 01:43:48.580
God, you have to send this guy quickly because the growth,

1751
01:43:48.700 --> 01:43:50.600
I can't manage a growth on my own.

1752
01:43:50.680 --> 01:43:52.140
I need, I need a support.

1753
01:43:52.440 --> 01:43:55.020
And you know, I've been burned so many times

1754
01:43:55.020 --> 01:43:56.460
by bringing people in.

1755
01:43:56.860 --> 01:43:58.360
You know, I don't want to do that again.

1756
01:43:58.400 --> 01:44:00.880
So I carried this whole thing on my shoulder.

1757
01:44:01.220 --> 01:44:03.700
And when you ask, I can't pronounce your name,

1758
01:44:03.780 --> 01:44:06.100
but the lady, like you're willing to relocate.

1759
01:44:06.460 --> 01:44:08.600
And I was like, I said, I hope you don't ask me that

1760
01:44:08.840 --> 01:44:11.680
because the vision I got, I have to stay in New York.

1761
01:44:11.680 --> 01:44:12.600
I can't move.

1762
01:44:13.200 --> 01:44:15.520
So anybody I find, either they relocate

1763
01:44:15.520 --> 01:44:17.180
or they are already here.

1764
01:44:17.680 --> 01:44:19.700
So that is just my update, but I just, you know,

1765
01:44:19.760 --> 01:44:22.940
I just, I thank God for just you sharing today

1766
01:44:22.940 --> 01:44:24.180
cause it actually helped me.

1767
01:44:24.260 --> 01:44:26.060
So thank you as always.

1768
01:44:26.520 --> 01:44:27.220
And you know, I love you.

1769
01:44:27.300 --> 01:44:27.880
You had to be here.

1770
01:44:28.320 --> 01:44:31.060
I also, I want to, I want to share with you too.

1771
01:44:31.060 --> 01:44:32.640
Cause when you're sharing that dream,

1772
01:44:33.580 --> 01:44:36.900
be asking the Lord what the color blue means.

1773
01:44:40.240 --> 01:44:41.120
Oh, okay.

1774
01:44:41.120 --> 01:44:42.340
I never, I never thought of that.

1775
01:44:42.340 --> 01:44:42.960
I don't know.

1776
01:44:43.040 --> 01:44:45.380
I like, again, I don't know if blue signal

1777
01:44:45.860 --> 01:44:48.720
like signifies something, but you just pointed that out.

1778
01:44:48.740 --> 01:44:49.480
And I just didn't know.

1779
01:44:49.880 --> 01:44:52.080
And I, and again, I'm, I'm,

1780
01:44:53.180 --> 01:44:55.280
I'm not the best like dream interpreter.

1781
01:44:55.440 --> 01:44:59.080
Like I am growing in that, but

1782
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:06.520
That just came in my spirit like I wonder what like you you pointed that out and I thought that there must be some

1783
01:45:06.520 --> 01:45:12.000
Significance of that so I don't know like ask God to reveal that if that is something

1784
01:45:12.660 --> 01:45:16.920
But you also said like I'm so busy. I'm so busy. And then all of a sudden you were in bed

1785
01:45:18.000 --> 01:45:18.480
which

1786
01:45:19.920 --> 01:45:24.400
Made me think that like God is telling you to rest

1787
01:45:27.240 --> 01:45:29.460
I don't know if that's something that you need to hear

1788
01:45:30.460 --> 01:45:32.780
That resonates with you

1789
01:45:33.600 --> 01:45:35.760
But it's okay to rest and

1790
01:45:36.580 --> 01:45:37.000
that

1791
01:45:37.320 --> 01:45:42.860
Because your husband is gonna come and he's gonna help take that load off of you

1792
01:45:43.580 --> 01:45:46.520
Like, you know when to become one

1793
01:45:47.040 --> 01:45:55.340
like you partner with someone and you get to bear each other's load and that is what a

1794
01:45:55.340 --> 01:45:59.980
Husband will do and again. He's showing you in that dream that

1795
01:46:00.000 --> 01:46:02.780
He's not there to be inappropriate with you

1796
01:46:03.340 --> 01:46:06.800
he is one of your bone flesh of your flesh and

1797
01:46:08.540 --> 01:46:11.040
He is there to fulfill a

1798
01:46:12.440 --> 01:46:13.800
promise of

1799
01:46:13.800 --> 01:46:15.820
What marriage is supposed to look like?

1800
01:46:16.520 --> 01:46:18.460
in Covenant and

1801
01:46:18.460 --> 01:46:18.900
so

1802
01:46:19.500 --> 01:46:23.400
Just I think that's a beautiful dream. I'd be asking

1803
01:46:24.100 --> 01:46:26.160
the Lord what that blue means and

1804
01:46:27.880 --> 01:46:33.140
Did you ever get to hear any of the we took Sabbath for September

1805
01:46:34.200 --> 01:46:38.140
Were you ever able to hear any of the no, I just

1806
01:46:38.700 --> 01:46:43.660
On Saturday God told me you need to join the call and I was like, oh, yeah

1807
01:46:44.880 --> 01:46:53.020
Listen to the supernatural Saturday before we went into Sabbath September Sabbath because we didn't record any of the

1808
01:46:53.020 --> 01:46:56.340
Supernatural Saturday calls in September, but listen to the supernatural Saturday

1809
01:46:56.340 --> 01:47:00.100
The call before we stopped recording in September. Okay

1810
01:47:01.900 --> 01:47:02.500
Because

1811
01:47:03.600 --> 01:47:05.940
Rest and Sabbath is important

1812
01:47:07.160 --> 01:47:14.060
Mm-hmm. I think it might be really good for you to hear some of that. Okay. Okay. All right. Love you Stephanie. Thanks for updating

1813
01:47:14.740 --> 01:47:17.100
You're gonna update me in the app Lori

1814
01:47:17.340 --> 01:47:21.260
Always good to see you my you're like my like

1815
01:47:21.660 --> 01:47:26.060
You're like my BFF like we like just can chat forever. So

1816
01:47:27.680 --> 01:47:29.400
That's why I was like, I

1817
01:47:29.480 --> 01:47:34.040
Hope you don't take offense that I leave you ever last but it's only because I know you and I can go off and off

1818
01:47:36.200 --> 01:47:38.860
I don't think I'll go on forever

1819
01:47:39.000 --> 01:47:44.360
But I do feel like I want to give an update because I would like to have you

1820
01:47:44.440 --> 01:47:50.660
speak into a couple of things that I'm thinking about so of course been online dating like

1821
01:47:50.960 --> 01:47:52.680
I'm on holy and

1822
01:47:52.680 --> 01:47:59.000
Harmony and I've done some Facebook, but I did pretty good with the Sabbath in September and

1823
01:48:00.260 --> 01:48:04.320
definitely took like weeks at a time off to just like reset my heart and

1824
01:48:05.680 --> 01:48:10.800
That was so so good for me. And also to really yeah

1825
01:48:10.800 --> 01:48:16.540
Like he's doing the Lord's doing so much in my life. Like I found a church now that's local

1826
01:48:16.540 --> 01:48:23.300
Which I've been driving like 35 that that's a whole nother story, but he's just answering some prayers for like

1827
01:48:24.420 --> 01:48:29.380
community for me and like I've been watercolor painting and just really leaning into like

1828
01:48:30.320 --> 01:48:32.220
creating my own life and

1829
01:48:34.820 --> 01:48:39.460
Yeah, so it's it's been hard but it's yeah, I'm really thankful I feel like

1830
01:48:40.800 --> 01:48:43.980
Things are coming together more. So it's just always you know

1831
01:48:43.980 --> 01:48:51.700
it's good for me to be like personally challenged and I've like already visited a couple small groups and women's Bible study and went to

1832
01:48:52.460 --> 01:48:54.700
Go worship thing night there

1833
01:48:54.700 --> 01:48:57.240
so I've really like

1834
01:48:57.240 --> 01:48:59.780
Already did a serving thing. So just like

1835
01:49:00.580 --> 01:49:01.300
keeping

1836
01:49:03.060 --> 01:49:07.680
Keeping going in like because I moved back here like a year or so ago

1837
01:49:09.120 --> 01:49:11.060
So, yeah just

1838
01:49:11.840 --> 01:49:17.340
Creating a life so that when like I'm not just like sitting waiting

1839
01:49:18.160 --> 01:49:20.000
for to get married

1840
01:49:20.960 --> 01:49:23.460
like there's a purpose like you're

1841
01:49:23.540 --> 01:49:28.760
My life create a life that I love and like develop things that I've always wanted to develop

1842
01:49:28.760 --> 01:49:34.280
But anyway, I'm talking to a guy I've been talking to a guy from Minnesota. I'm in Michigan

1843
01:49:35.520 --> 01:49:38.540
For a little over a week now. He's

1844
01:49:38.540 --> 01:49:39.800
Be

1845
01:49:40.820 --> 01:49:45.260
He's what 50 and I'm 56, okay

1846
01:49:47.280 --> 01:49:52.100
Most of our talks have been it's felt like you know, just kind of

1847
01:49:53.760 --> 01:49:59.980
Batting back and forth just more like information, you know, like, you know, you're just kind of getting to know

1848
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:07.560
know like the basic things about somebody like how many kids and yeah i don't even know what he does

1849
01:50:08.380 --> 01:50:16.280
um well i do because i googled him but he's he's very visible can i call it research

1850
01:50:17.440 --> 01:50:24.680
um be careful with that laurie i know careful with it like don't sometimes you find things

1851
01:50:24.680 --> 01:50:33.080
you don't want to find yeah i have not not on him but yeah okay yeah i'm just giving i'm

1852
01:50:33.080 --> 01:50:39.400
i'm just giving my my wisdom here yeah it's like jackie's got a checkered heart when we're doing

1853
01:50:39.400 --> 01:50:44.640
that but i'm again like i'm not not ragging on you fine yeah we can find things about the

1854
01:50:44.640 --> 01:50:52.880
relational equity that wouldn't measure up to like knowing the character i remember

1855
01:50:52.880 --> 01:51:02.320
that was yeah but anyway um yeah so anyway like he's i i think the things that are coming up

1856
01:51:02.320 --> 01:51:10.420
are some intimidation because he's like a country like he led the country of asia like in his job

1857
01:51:11.300 --> 01:51:21.220
and so both feelings of intimidation and also feelings of um

1858
01:51:24.160 --> 01:51:30.300
um would he have enough time okay um so you know i i have to admit that like we've

1859
01:51:30.340 --> 01:51:37.920
exchanged messages and they've been maybe every couple days um he answered you know he answered

1860
01:51:37.920 --> 01:51:43.940
my basic questions but then the last one he didn't and then he kind of fell off for a couple days

1861
01:51:43.940 --> 01:51:50.240
then he came back he had his he had his kids over the weekend so that's the other thing he's got a

1862
01:51:51.600 --> 01:52:02.700
16 14 and 8 year old mine are 26 and 29 so we're in a different season of life okay and

1863
01:52:02.960 --> 01:52:10.060
before this i would say like it would not be i would say nope don't want to don't want to raise

1864
01:52:10.060 --> 01:52:18.340
kids again yeah um but i'm just sitting in this space okay what gets me is like he's just got this

1865
01:52:18.340 --> 01:52:27.240
super abundant smile like he's just got this smile that he's a strong believer at least you know

1866
01:52:27.240 --> 01:52:33.000
sounds like it but he's just got this he smiles with his eyes he's like

1867
01:52:33.320 --> 01:52:39.540
just like just the sweetest smile deep deep smile okay um

1868
01:52:44.040 --> 01:52:49.240
so anyway like he he fell off and then instead of like coming back and being like you didn't

1869
01:52:49.240 --> 01:52:54.900
answer my questions i just thought he's super busy and i'm not busy because i'm not working

1870
01:52:54.900 --> 01:53:01.520
right now so i've got a lot of time so he is still working what's that he is still working

1871
01:53:06.240 --> 01:53:13.040
yeah he's he's working he feels the lord on like changing to something different so he's also doing

1872
01:53:13.640 --> 01:53:20.940
interviews okay he's got like board meetings and all sorts of stuff this week so you know i sit on

1873
01:53:20.940 --> 01:53:26.520
the i sit in the place of like i don't want to say like okay he didn't he didn't answer any of my

1874
01:53:26.520 --> 01:53:31.500
last questions but he did say hey i've got sorry for the delay i've just i've got a lot of work

1875
01:53:31.500 --> 01:53:38.740
got so much right now well it's only been one week right yeah it's only been a week you guys

1876
01:53:38.740 --> 01:53:45.840
have not had a video call no but here's the thing okay like i've been in sales before so i just

1877
01:53:45.840 --> 01:53:52.080
decided and i think i got a little bit bored too i just said i'm just gonna do a sale like go or no

1878
01:53:52.080 --> 01:53:58.820
go thing so i just basically reached out to him and said i actually asked ai i know that's like

1879
01:53:58.820 --> 01:54:06.160
what do i say like because i was like we're not really connecting like it's more like batting

1880
01:54:06.160 --> 01:54:13.120
like information back and forth so i thought i'd really like to like not get like heart deep stuff

1881
01:54:13.120 --> 01:54:24.980
but like so i just asked it and i just said you know i'd love to hear um let's see i said uh

1882
01:54:26.270 --> 01:54:31.370
oh he asked me about city service i said it went well thanks i'll be praying for god's strength

1883
01:54:31.370 --> 01:54:36.450
wisdom and discernment for you this week i know you've got a lot going on right now all great

1884
01:54:36.570 --> 01:54:41.050
things i'd love to hear more about what excites you the most in life right now whether it's

1885
01:54:41.050 --> 01:54:45.590
something your kids your work or just something you're passionate about that brings you joy

1886
01:54:45.750 --> 01:54:50.950
would you be up for a brief video chat perhaps this weekend it'd be great to meet and i'd always

1887
01:54:50.950 --> 01:54:58.290
prefer real life over texting and he says he said thank you look forward to it weekend would

1888
01:54:58.290 --> 01:54:59.970
work great thanks for

1889
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:04.520
for me as I go through busy week of interviews and meetings, how does about

1890
01:55:04.520 --> 01:55:12.800
noon central on Saturday a one-year time work? So I just... I'd like to give you your time.

1891
01:55:12.880 --> 01:55:22.660
That's good. Yeah, so I just I got really excited about that, yeah. So that's this

1892
01:55:22.660 --> 01:55:27.820
Saturday? That's this Saturday, yeah. Yeah, let's let's roll with that. Let's see what

1893
01:55:27.820 --> 01:55:35.180
happens. Again, this is your only weekend, so I'm gonna... Yeah. My instinct to tell

1894
01:55:35.840 --> 01:55:41.860
you is let's not let's not put the cart before the horse. I don't know him at all,

1895
01:55:41.960 --> 01:55:47.060
really. Yeah, let's not let's not get like just have fun with it. Yeah. You don't need to

1896
01:55:47.060 --> 01:55:53.540
do all these what-if stuff. Let's just get to know him. Let's see where this

1897
01:55:53.540 --> 01:55:59.980
could go. Again, he's in Minnesota, you're in Michigan. What about the kids thing

1898
01:55:59.800 --> 01:56:05.440
though? We don't have to figure that out until like the video chat first. If the

1899
01:56:05.440 --> 01:56:09.220
video chat goes well, then you're gonna want to figure out can you all meet in

1900
01:56:08.820 --> 01:56:14.740
person. Okay. Then getting in person, once you get it in person, then you're gonna

1901
01:56:14.740 --> 01:56:19.120
be able to gauge from there. And then if you're like, okay, because the long

1902
01:56:19.120 --> 01:56:24.680
distance you you do have to, there's got to be some intention there. Yeah, that's

1903
01:56:24.680 --> 01:56:30.120
why we encourage you ladies, if you're doing long distance, you got to get in

1904
01:56:30.360 --> 01:56:35.440
person pretty quickly within three to six weeks. Because if it's going to go

1905
01:56:35.440 --> 01:56:40.620
anywhere, you need to know that you're there's something like compatible there

1906
01:56:40.620 --> 01:56:47.160
that you're there's an interest there's you get along. Yeah, your energy is

1907
01:56:47.160 --> 01:56:51.020
sometimes people's energy on a text on the phone is going to be different than

1908
01:56:51.400 --> 01:56:56.400
100% because I've met people and I'm like, Oh my gosh, like, you got to feel

1909
01:56:56.400 --> 01:57:00.280
that out. So again, if it's going well through text on the phone, video call,

1910
01:57:00.480 --> 01:57:05.060
great. Let's see how we are in person. If you like how things are in person. And

1911
01:57:05.060 --> 01:57:11.560
you want to keep seeing where this goes. You're gonna have to have those more in

1912
01:57:11.560 --> 01:57:15.320
depth conversations sooner rather than later. We wouldn't have you ladies do

1913
01:57:15.320 --> 01:57:19.840
that if it was a more local thing. But when you do have to have those

1914
01:57:19.980 --> 01:57:27.020
conversations like hey, yeah. You're there. I'm here. Do we like each other

1915
01:57:27.020 --> 01:57:30.720
enough to kind of figure out what this looks like? If so, what would this look

1916
01:57:31.400 --> 01:57:45.300
like? Yeah. And then you have to decide. Does it look the same for both of us? Do

1917
01:57:45.300 --> 01:57:55.980
I don't know. Just he share parenting. My no idea. He does. So I probably can't

1918
01:57:55.720 --> 01:58:02.100
move. Yeah, there. Like, yeah, those kinds of conversations will come out. I

1919
01:58:02.100 --> 01:58:05.660
don't want to but I can. Yeah. But that's what I'm saying. You're not going to

1920
01:58:05.660 --> 01:58:10.140
know if you want to until you actually spend time getting to know him and

1921
01:58:10.140 --> 01:58:16.400
you're not 100% do that until you get to know him. Do a video call. See if you

1922
01:58:16.400 --> 01:58:20.580
all can figure out a way to meet in person and see how it goes meeting in

1923
01:58:20.300 --> 01:58:24.900
person. Yeah, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. Let's just take one step at a

1924
01:58:25.280 --> 01:58:30.260
time. Okay, focus on the video date first. And we'll go from there. Yeah.

1925
01:58:30.660 --> 01:58:37.540
Sound good. Yep. All right. All right, ladies. It's always a pleasure. Thank you

1926
01:58:37.540 --> 01:58:42.800
so much. For those ladies sticking out, Kim, I'll look forward to your post in

1927
01:58:42.800 --> 01:58:48.040
the group. And if you jump on Ebony's call tonight, that'd be fantastic. Ladies,

1928
01:58:49.080 --> 01:58:53.980
have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your day. And I look forward to seeing you all

1929
01:58:53.980 --> 01:58:54.340
next week.