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Hello, welcome. Welcome, welcome. We're back for another Monday night, you all. For those

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of you that joined for the 1pm, you had a sneak surprise guest. Jackie Dorman joined

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our one o'clock session this afternoon while I was traveling back to Fort Myers here in

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Florida from our amazing retreat and our five year anniversary party. We partied, y'all,

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so we couldn't party anymore. It was great. So celebrate with us. You know, I don't want

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y'all to feel like you're missing out. I want you to understand that you're part of something

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amazing that God is doing in this season to heal people, to set them free and create kingdom

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families and marriages. And that's a legacy that you guys get to be a part of this movement

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and everything that God did in the lives and the hearts of those that were there, as well

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as at the five year anniversary party. I'm a firm believer that even when we pray during the day,

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you know, during the week, we want you all to be there as much as you can. But even when you're

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not there, I believe that what we're praying and releasing is getting to you, whether you

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realize it or not. And so I believe the same thing from this retreat, the same thing from

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the anniversary party that what God is releasing, it is available to you as well. So I just want

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y'all to, even if you don't know what was said, just like, Lord, thank you for letting me receive

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the overflow. And he knows exactly how to get you what you need from that. And so I just want to

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encourage you in that and, and want you to know that regarding anything that we're doing, of

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course, anything that you can get to in person is going to accelerate things for you. From my

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experience, I went to our Austin retreat back in 2021. I also went to an event that Jackie was

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speaking at in Tennessee in 2021. And not only did I make amazing friends through that, but God

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did amazing things in my heart and life. And so, but if you can't come in person, come online, show

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up online, show up in the groups, all the things that we talked to you about. If you've never met

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me before, my name is Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the Master Heartwork Coaches here in the

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community. We have Annette Lewis here, almost called you Winters. Annette, it almost came out.

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She used to be Annette Winters. She's Annette Lewis. She's another success story from our

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community. And I got to meet her for the first time in person last night. She's been on my team

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for a while, you all. And I got to meet her and her husband last night. And now they are, you're

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back in Canada as well now, correct? Oh, you're muted. Or I'm sorry. Are you in Washington?

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Yeah, we're back in Washington. We just, it was a short night, long day. Here we are.

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Yes.

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It was worth it. It was worth it.

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So much fun. So thanks for being here tonight. We have some awesome things to go through with the

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artwork. Just a couple housekeeping things. Number one, welcome to all of our brand new ladies. If

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you've never been to a live session before, this is literally your first live session. We'd love to

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have you let us know that. Put that in the chat for us so that we can welcome you. To all my ladies

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coming back, welcome back. It's good to see you. I'm excited for what God's going to do tonight. I

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So glad to have you here with us. I don't even know what I was gonna say. Sorry, y'all lost my train of

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thought. But Supernatural Saturday replay if you haven't heard it. Now when you see it says The

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Siege is Over, I don't want you to think it's the same recording from a week or two ago. Jackie

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talked about The Siege is Over a couple weeks ago. But this is like part two. This is kind of the

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additional things that God has been downloading. She does do some recap, but it's powerful, you

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all so check that out when you have time. Also the prophetic ministry night last night. I haven't

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been able to check yet because of my travel, but I believe that was recorded like it was supposed to

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be and that will come up in your replays as well probably tomorrow. Just y'all know just our whole

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team was literally there last night. So that will come up. Yeah. Thanks, ladies for welcoming

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everyone. Okay. Is it Yelizavita? Did I say that right? Am I even close? I don't know if she can

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hear me. But welcome. Welcome to you. Anyone else that I didn't see that you said you were here for

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your first time? We're so glad that you're here. All right, let me pray for us and go ahead and

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open us up into what we're going to dive into tonight. Father, thank you so much for this

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night. God, I thank you for just the blessings that flow down from heaven above on a regular

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basis. God, even when we can't perceive it, even when our hearts need healing that keep us from

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understanding the revelation of who you are as a good father. I thank you that that never changes

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who

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you are, that doesn't change your character.

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God, I thank you that you would give us revelation

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and upgrades tonight to receive the truth,

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to replace every lie that we've been believing.

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God, some lies we've been believing for our entire lives,

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other lies it's been in the last few years.

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God, I thank you that you would break off mindsets

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of poverty, mindsets of orphan mentalities, scarcity.

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God, fear that runs rampant within us.

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God, that leads us to run away

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instead of turning towards people and towards you.

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God, I thank you that you would help us

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to hear what your spirit is saying

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louder than any voice of the enemy,

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not only tonight, but in the days to come.

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God, that we would, yes, Lord,

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that we would be good soil that your seed is going into,

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that it would bear fruit in due season, God.

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And we thank you that we won't grow weary in well-doing.

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For in due season, we will reap a harvest

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for all the prayers that we've prayed,

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the steps of obedience that you are leading us to do,

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that we're taking.

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God, I thank you that your Holy Spirit is here.

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We say, Holy Spirit, welcome.

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Thank you for being here with us.

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I ask you to weave in and out of conversations,

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in and out of the coaching and everything that is said.

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Lord, let it be to your glory and your honor.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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So tonight we're talking about revealing for healing.

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Ladies, if you're brand new,

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just so you know, this is kind of how it goes.

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It doesn't matter what week you're on.

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You come every week when you,

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hopefully you can come every week,

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but you come and you just,

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you come in whatever week you're in,

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and I'm going to coach on content

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that might be in a different week, and that's okay.

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Cause you're going to still receive revelation

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that you need in that moment.

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And then, you know,

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it might help you understand that better when you come to it.

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And so don't ever worry about like,

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am I supposed to have a certain week done to come?

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Just come every week, okay?

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That's how it's going to work.

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So I want you all to be, I'm going to show you,

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this is in week three, I believe, if I'm not mistaken.

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Forgot to check that out

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to make sure I told you all the right thing.

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And I'm going to pull this up on my screen.

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Can you all see this?

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All right, awesome.

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Let me just reduce it slightly.

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Hold on a second.

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I need this thing to go away.

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Oh, that's the wrong way.

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There we go.

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At least it, all right.

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Now you guys can see the whole thing.

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So this is what we call the revealing for healing cycle here

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in the heart work, in the Last Year Single community.

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And tonight I'm going to walk you through,

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through my own life, using my own life and situations,

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what the revealing for healing looked like

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in some areas in my life.

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Some lies I believed, as you can see, that's a part of that.

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And again, I'm going to walk you through this,

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but also all the way through to the truth.

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So tonight we're going to start with negative emotions,

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but one of the things I want you all to understand

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is sometimes you might not know

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what your negative emotion is,

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but you might know what your trauma story is,

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or you might know what the lie is that you're believing.

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And so then you just kind of back it up

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and ask God to reveal the additional areas, okay?

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So don't worry about

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if you don't know the negative emotion,

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but I do want to try to help you start to identify

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your negative emotions a little better

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so that you can also connect it to the painful memories

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and trauma stories that it's,

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that they are associated with and all of those things.

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And so tonight, as I start from my story,

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the negative emotion overarching was fear,

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a lot of fear, you all.

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And when I say fear, I like legit used to run

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from one side of the house to the other,

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afraid of the dark, just a lot of fear in my life.

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But tonight specifically,

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I'm going to talk about fear around men, fear regarding men.

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Anytime I would get around men,

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not my grandfather felt safe around him.

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I wasn't afraid around him,

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but like men that I didn't know

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or men that had certain personalities

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and carried themselves in certain ways.

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If the other thing I think of is even men

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that I thought were attractive, I would feel fear.

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And so there was just a lot of fear around men.

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And from there, the painful memory.

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Now, the way I like to describe painful memories

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is it's like, if you think of an umbrella,

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like an umbrella kind of like covers other things,

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it's an overarching idea.

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And so the painful memory for me was abused by men.

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Okay, so it's more of the general concept

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of what happened or what we've been through.

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But the trauma stories,

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that's where it's getting more specific.

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So underneath of abused by men,

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what were my trauma stories that were connected to that?

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And mine were, there were several.

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So I was sexually abused by my brothers.

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I was also sexually abused by my sister

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and she operated in masculine energy a lot.

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You also, even though she was a female,

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she acted like a man a lot in the way that she carried

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herself and how tough and mean she was.

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And not that all men are mean, but that was some of the things I used to believe, okay?

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Also, I wrote down emotional, mental, physical, spiritual abuse, financial abuse that I went

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through with my ex-husband.

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We called them was-bans in this community.

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And then there were two other stories that God brought to my mind when I put this content

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together a few years ago.

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And it was when I was younger, I went to this like home interiors party with my mom.

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My sister was with us.

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And all I remember, I don't remember a lot from that night, but I remember all of the

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kids were sent upstairs and I didn't know the people's like, I didn't know the people

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that we were with.

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And I just remember there was this boy there that tried to, at one point he like, I don't

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even know how it happened.

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And I just remember all the other kids were no longer in the room and he was trying to

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push this dresser in front of the door to like, keep me in the room with him.

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And my sister like, pushed the door down, y'all, thank God, praise the Lord for that.

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And then I remember us like running downstairs.

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I have no clue what happened after that.

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That's the only thing I can remember.

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And this is where it's important y'all, we don't, I don't need to dig for those answers.

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If God wanted me to know more about that situation, he would show it to me.

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So I just want y'all to even hear me say that.

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Sometimes I haven't even remembered to tell you all that, but I'm okay.

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Like you, in the past, I used to be like, like I would always want to know the rest

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of that story, right?

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You know, I wanted answers and, and I just have come to a place where if God wants to

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show me, he will show me.

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And if I need to know it, he'll let me know it.

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So the other, other one, very similar.

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When I was in high school, I was with a group of friends.

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We were teenagers at the time.

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And a girl that I used to hang out with, I actually thought she was like my best friend,

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which now hindsight, she was not a very good friend in a lot of ways.

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But in one of the things that she did, she had this like squishy ball thing.

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She put it down my shirt.

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She shoved me in this bathroom.

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And then the next thing I know, this boy that we went to high school with comes in and she

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had given him the task of getting the ball.

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And it was like this big game to them.

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Well, I didn't think it was a game.

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I freaked out y'all.

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That wasn't fun for me.

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And so I like was, I remember, and he was, he was laughing.

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He like, he thought it was like, he wasn't trying to be mean.

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I really don't think he was trying to harm me, you all.

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But like, I did not feel safe.

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And so I remember like panicking and like pulling on the bathroom door and she was holding

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it closed from the outside.

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It was just, it was just a mess.

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So why am I saying all that to you?

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I'm saying all of those things to you because each one had a similar thread.

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It all goes back to men abuse.

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I have to be afraid of men.

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But here is the next thing, okay?

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Which that leads into the lies.

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And I kind of already said that, I guess, but the lies believed are revealed at that

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point.

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All men are abusive.

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I need to be afraid of men.

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So I kind of got ahead of myself there.

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And then the God reveals truth.

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We don't stop there.

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So when I was in, just in church, you know, in learning, a lot of times the church does

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teach you to reveal, like have the lie revealed, but they don't always teach you to go all

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the way through the, to get the truth, to replace the lie.

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They will tell you to declare things and that is good, but we need healing in the place

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where those lies were taking root and connecting to those trauma wounds.

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And so I'm going to just tell you a couple of the truths that God revealed to me in my

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process in here.

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And I'm going to give you a couple of scriptures.

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So I'm big on, I like not only having a truth declaration, but I like to ask God to give

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me a scripture that partners with that truth declaration.

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That is something that I've done for years.

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I feel like it's super powerful because then that gives me the truth that, you know, just

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to declare out of myself.

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And then I like to pray scripture out loud.

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And so number one is you don't have to fear or be afraid.

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I don't have to fear or be afraid of anyone, including men.

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Isaiah 41 10 says, so do not fear for I am with you.

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Do not be dismayed for I am your God.

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I will strengthen you and help you.

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I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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I am recording, right?

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Can you all see it recording?

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OK, awesome.

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Um, Isaiah 41 13 says, for I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand

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and says to you, do not fear.

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I will help you.

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Another truth to replace the lie is I can trust God to protect me.

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Hold on one sec.

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And the scripture that I have with that one is Psalm 121, verse seven through eight.

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The Lord will keep you from all harm.

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He will watch over your life.

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The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

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And so one of the big things.

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I get some pushback on this, is that, well, if that's the case, then why did you get abused at

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all? Okay. Why did, you know, we're experiencing these things. Well, the reality is, is that

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God gives man free will. All of us, we all have free will to choose. God wants us all to choose

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the healthy thing, the right thing. I mean, you see that even playing out with Cain and Abel in

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the Bible. One of the first stories where God is like, you know, just really giving him a way out

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and he didn't take it. And there are a lot of people on the earth that don't, they don't walk

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in the healthy path. And what I do know is that even like that situation where that boy was trying

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to push that dresser in front of the door. I mean, my sister, I remember like she pushed that door

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down. And so I do believe that God used my sister that night. And I do, I do see so many other times

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throughout even the abuse and things that were happening where God was, was trying to help me out

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of that situation. People showing up at the house, like all different things. And so I want you all

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just to be praying. If you struggle to believe that God protects you or that he cares about

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protecting you, I want to encourage you to pray about, you know, what lies are causing you to

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partner with that. And then that God would show you the different times along your path that he,

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like you, there was evidence that you knew he was protecting you.

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One of the times, one of the ways I do this as well is there's a lot of times when we're driving

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and sometimes I will recognize like, oh my gosh, like this car was coming into like into me and

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they didn't even know I was there. And I'm not saying I always know God was there, but I just,

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I really am confident when there's certain things, like when we were moving down here to Florida,

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we had, you know, big U-Haul. Brian was driving that. I was falling behind and he kind of,

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there was a guy that was starting to get over and that he kind of went off on the edge. Well,

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I don't know if you guys have ever driven just even your car on the, you know, the bumpy part

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that's supposed to slow you down and wake you up so you don't go off the road. Yeah. Well,

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that's really helpful for the most part, unless sometimes you kind of get caught in that in the

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wrong way and it can really throw the car, the vehicle around, especially when you have a big

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vehicle. And that was kind of happening in the back of the, cause we were pulling my car behind

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the U-Haul and it kind of started back, not fishtailing going out of control, but you could

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tell like there was some stuff going on there. And I just started praying. And then like he was,

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he got right back on the road and everything was fine. And so I just, I just, I'm confident that

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there are so many times that we don't even realize that stuff. Right. And so as you're praying about

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Lord, help me to see the times that you were protecting me, that you were there for me,

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even times that, you know, maybe you already know them, but maybe there's some that you don't

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recognize. And then I just want to kind of go through a couple other things I was talking or

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when I was praying, I was praying about the soil of our hearts and how God, you know, really wants

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to create that good soil so that when seeds are planted, that they can take root and not get

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choked out by the cares of the world, by the lies that we believe. So if y'all didn't understand

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some of the context of that scripture, it goes so much deeper than that. But I just want you to

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understand that the cares of the world, those can be like the worries and the fears and all of the

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things. And then it's also the lies that are in there, just choking the life out of that,

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the seed that's being planted of truth. And so for some of you that you're like, man,

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like, I feel like I go back and forth, like I believe, but then I start to like a day later,

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I feel like I'm going backwards and struggling. Well, yeah, that's kind of that, that cycle of,

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you know, as you get more breakthrough, you might not feel that tussle back and forth so much.

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It might still be there at times, but the more truth you're getting in you and the more revelation

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you're getting, it should kind of push that darkness out more and more. And I'm not saying

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that y'all are, you know, full of bad things. I'm just saying we all have darkness, you know,

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that's in us. And so the light of the world, Jesus came to literally rid us of darkness. And

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He's the way that we can now enter into relationship with the Father and the Holy Spirit. And so He

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wants to bring the light and the truth into any area that feels dark to you, that feels, you know,

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you feel stuck. You don't know how to move forward. I'm telling you what, I saw some women get set

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free from some massive stuff on this retreat, just things that you wouldn't even, small conversations,

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times of prayer, like just, it's just an honest reminder of how much God is intentional to show up

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and really meet us right where we're at to get us what we need. So I want you all to do your best

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to always come with expectancy, not just to lives, but into the heart work as you're watching the

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videos, as you're reading, even when, or if you struggle when you sit down to read, this happens

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when I go to read my

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Bible sometimes, I just feel like the enemy tries to distract me with, Oh, I got to get

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this thing done. Or, Oh, oh my gosh, I forgot to do that last night. Or, you know, or maybe

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it's just, I'm tired and I'm starting to fall asleep while I'm reading. Yes, this stuff

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still happens to me. So I want you all to just really give yourselves a lot of grace.

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If that happens when you're reading the word, if it's when you're reading the heartwork,

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whatever it is, um, but just that you will. And I had a conversation with a couple, we

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had a couple of heartwork ladies in at the retreat. And that was one of the conversations

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I had with one of them. Uh, that was something she was struggling with. And I just want

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you to know that it happens and you're not alone. If you feel that as you're going through

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the heartwork, but just keep, you know, uh, moving one step forward. One of the things

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I did tell her, and I feel like this relates to the revealing for healing. So that's why

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I'm sharing it is yes. Sometimes distraction is just the enemy distracting us. He's kind

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of attacking our minds, but there are other times that distraction is actually like, um,

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a self preservation technique. Like we're afraid to go to the next step subconsciously.

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And so, because that fear is in there subconsciously of maybe we're in, we feel like, I'm not sure

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if I'm ready for the forgiveness step, or I'm not sure if I'm ready for phase two or

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whatever those fears are that are rising up that can cause distraction. The Lord can reveal

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what the root of that is. So that's the thing I want you all to be praying about. What's

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the root of my, like getting distracted where I'm not able to keep moving forward in the

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heartwork, where I'm struggling with, you know, Oh my gosh, something feels overwhelming.

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And so then I start to isolate and pull back again, instead of leaning in. That was another

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thing I talked to a lot of ladies about on the retreat, when we feel that fear and we

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want to run and isolate. No, that's the enemy's invitation to you. That's a technique that

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you've learned because of trauma, because of brokenness. God is all about family connection,

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closeness, intimacy, like into me. See, he wants to know you like he knows everything

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about you, but he wants you to tell him how you feel. He wants to hear what you're thinking.

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He wants to hear your voice. He loves to hear your voice. And so even with other people,

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God is saying, I want you to lean in. I want you to get vulnerable and share some of those

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things that you're terrified to share. Because when you share them, ladies, as soon as you

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bring those things out of darkness into the light, even if you don't understand this,

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I'm telling you, this is truth. It will bring breakthrough in you in ways that you can't

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comprehend right now. And so keep doing those things. Keep taking those steps. Super important.

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So I started talking about the soil of your heart. The heart is a womb. And so I want you

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to remember, as I was talking about a little bit last week, everything that gets planted

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into our hearts will be reproduced. So what are we currently allowing to be planted in our

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hearts? What lies have gotten in this week, ladies? I want you to think about this. You

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guys are revealing for healing cycle tonight. And if you don't know what your emotions are,

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which I'm going to have you guys activate here in a minute, I want you to think about

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what lies came in this week that you've been meditating on and thinking about, because

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that's what causes it to then get planted back down in your heart again. So what I want

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you to do in the chat for me is I want you to, and you're going to do this in your breakout,

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but I just want to see if some of you all can identify a negative emotion. So it could

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be, it could have been today. It could have been yesterday. It could have been in the

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past week. I want you to put in the chat for me a negative emotion that you experienced.

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Okay. Heaviness, sadness, fear, confusion, loneliness, depression, another fear I saw,

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a lack of confidence, doubt, resentment, overwhelmed, sadness, fear and anxiety. Okay.

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Awesome. Crankiness. Okay. That's anger. Hopeless. Maybe not be physically healed. Rejection.

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Incompetency. All right. You guys can keep those going. Deep sorrow. Okay. So we have

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two there that sound kind of similar. I'm going to go back and look at what Megan, the

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way she said that. Heaviness. I feel like those kind of go together, ladies. Those are

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similar emotions there. Jealousy, distrust, inferiority. All right. Uninvited. Glenna,

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you're always invited. You're always invited. All right. So you guys can keep putting those

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in there, but I want to touch on, as you're, as you're thinking,

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about these I want to go back because as soon as I read when Megan said heaviness

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I heard the Lord say that heaviness has been a family generational thing for

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you Megan I know I was gonna looking for you on the screen here and so it is real

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to you but the Lord wants you to know that's been passed down through

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generations that's not the reason it feels so heavy is that it's not just

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yours it's family line and so I want you to as this happens really work on not

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partnering with I can't do this I can't do this this is too much if you have any

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kind of thoughts like that anyone else that this is resonating with that we

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don't partner with those thoughts because we can feel these things but

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it's really important for us to do our best to not partner with that we can't

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because the reality is as Christ in us the hope of glory can enable us to do

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all things everything y'all I traveled I got three hours of sleep last night I

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traveled really early this morning I've slept on and off but I felt pretty tired

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before I got on and I just prayed like Lord these ladies need some good stuff

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they don't need me to get on here tired so I need you to give them what they

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need help me just to be a vessel and trust you and you know I literally since

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I started talking as soon as I went live I feel more energy right now that I

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have the entire day and so I want you all to understand like whatever it is

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that we need he will meet us right there and so there are other people I saw

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things to there but as soon as I saw that for Megan I heard that and so I

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needed to share that and again if if I say things to someone else in this group

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y'all when I'm coaching and you are resonating with that just like we say on

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the prayer calls you know you can receive that for yourself because God is

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probably highlighting to you that to you as I'm speaking to someone else and

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that can give you breakthrough as well you know what what one breakthrough

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person what break when one person gets breakthrough it can create breakthrough

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for everybody else it really can so maybe yours is something different but

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sometimes we don't understand why something feels so heavy there's a

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difference between sadness and despair and I feel like despair connects with

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that Megan okay and so part of the reason that that that gets so deep and

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heavy is there's a stronghold there strongholds are created by the repeated

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instances of something happening and then we without realizing it we

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subconsciously partner with a lie and that reinforces that stronghold within

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us and so we don't have to be afraid of that though because God is more than

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able to break down any stronghold so I want y'all to remember that as I'm

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telling her that telling you that but just in the days ahead that you guys

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these these emotions that you've identified I want you to be thinking

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about the revealing for healing cycle that I walk through so I'm gonna pull

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that back up so you can see it one more time we're not gonna do the whole thing

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right now but I just want you to kind of think about so you know that negative

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emotion now okay so what is the painful memories remember the overarching idea

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or concept and if you're not sure about that one I feel like the painful memory

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can be the one of the toughest ones for people so then just go right to the

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trauma story so this negative emotion what's the trauma story that connected

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to that and then what were the lies you heard as a result of it all right and

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we'll come back to this but I just wanted to kind of kind of reinforce that

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thought because it will help you when you go into their breakout rooms what if

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we don't have painful memories or trauma stories but there are negative emotions

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lies well so that's that's not possible you would have to have both lies that we

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believe and fear and all of that is absolutely because at some point we've

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had you know trauma it doesn't always have to be big massive trauma there there

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can be smaller scale trauma that people experience or negative situations wounds

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that they go through that cause those things but typically I've never seen

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someone have fear and not have trauma or a wound somewhere they go together and

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so let's see around relationships and sometimes pain around yeah yeah and I

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think more for you is it's that you need God to reveal the root of these things

436
00:29:28.200 --> 00:29:32.720
okay you need God to reveal what the trauma or the wounds are that you've

437
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:35.760
experienced and it's okay if you don't know that answer right now remember you

438
00:29:35.860 --> 00:29:39.480
don't have to dig we don't get out our shovels and heart work we allow the Lord

439
00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:44.840
to reveal for heal could a person numb out and not recall tell me more what you

440
00:29:44.840 --> 00:29:53.620
mean Lisa you can unmute yeah I was just referencing okay I'm not sure if I know

441
00:29:53.620 --> 00:29:59.360
how to pronounce your name you'll Zaveda how she was yeah how she was saying you

442
00:29:59.360 --> 00:29:59.740
know

443
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.960
What if you don't have painful memories or trauma stories, but there are negative emotions? So I was

444
00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:09.040
wondering, like, is it possible somebody could numb out from trauma and not make any connection

445
00:30:09.040 --> 00:30:15.320
there? Right? Yeah, sure. And the reality is, is sometimes God removes those memories from our

446
00:30:15.320 --> 00:30:20.300
brain, because we wouldn't be able to, we wouldn't be able to handle it. And so in the right season,

447
00:30:20.300 --> 00:30:26.660
he will reveal it if we need to know it. Okay. And so sometimes you might not know again, what

448
00:30:26.660 --> 00:30:32.980
the fear the excuse me, the wound or the trauma is, because you may not remember because God,

449
00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:39.920
your body will also physically like God created our bodies to like protect us, our brains will

450
00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:44.820
go into protective mode when there's something that's happening to us, or that we're experiencing

451
00:30:44.820 --> 00:30:52.260
that is too much for us to handle in that time. And so God has made us very resilient in that

452
00:30:52.460 --> 00:30:58.860
regard. And so yeah, typically, that is something that I encourage people to just pray about. And

453
00:30:58.860 --> 00:31:03.380
even if it doesn't come right away, it's totally fine. So don't feel any pressure to know those

454
00:31:03.380 --> 00:31:07.240
answers right away. I'm going to read something real quick from the heart workbook for you all

455
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:10.700
and then we're going to get ready. I'm going to explain a couple more things and then we're going

456
00:31:10.700 --> 00:31:17.000
to get ready to go in the breakouts. Alright, so this is from chapter. Let me see if I can find it

457
00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:21.580
five. I think I was in five last week too, but this is just a little part

458
00:31:23.840 --> 00:31:27.660
of chapter five. When God uses the word good.

459
00:31:30.420 --> 00:31:34.020
Yeah, I want to make sure I didn't want to start somewhere else. Yeah, when God uses the word good,

460
00:31:34.080 --> 00:31:39.040
He isn't talking about our human standard of good. He is referring to His standard of good.

461
00:31:40.160 --> 00:31:46.160
So maybe you do have a little something working out in your life, but is it God's version of good

462
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:52.760
yet? Probably not. And that's why we are here. We want more. Most of us have a tendency to live

463
00:31:52.760 --> 00:31:58.380
in crisis mode, only focusing on the areas that are a complete train wreck and not realizing

464
00:31:58.380 --> 00:32:05.360
there's an upgrade available in every area of our life. If we are willing to be shown what we cannot

465
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:13.900
see yet. The state of your life has everything to do with your experiences and your perception

466
00:32:13.900 --> 00:32:20.360
of those experiences. Do y'all understand that? So not just what we go through, but how we perceive

467
00:32:20.360 --> 00:32:26.160
them and then the lies that we hear and subconsciously partner with. These unhealed

468
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:31.500
wounds that are harboring fears, lies, and that's kind of an answer to what she was asking there as

469
00:32:31.500 --> 00:32:36.820
well. These unhealed wounds that are harboring fears, lies, and false narratives create havoc

470
00:32:36.820 --> 00:32:43.660
in that area of your life as they mature and manifest through emotions like shame, guilt,

471
00:32:44.540 --> 00:32:51.000
unworthiness, and fear. These are powerful emotions that can begin to lead to all types

472
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:56.260
of painful behaviors, which are the problems. So remember, we want to get to the root of the

473
00:32:56.260 --> 00:33:02.180
problem. This isn't about behavior modification, which is short term. This is about inner healing

474
00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:07.740
and long-term transformation that we would out of the overflow of understanding God's love for us

475
00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:12.800
and the healing that we would choose differently. All right, so when God uses that word good,

476
00:33:12.940 --> 00:33:17.980
just remember, his version of good is different than your version of good. Even regarding your

477
00:33:17.980 --> 00:33:22.120
spirit mate, people have fears all the time that God's going to make them be with someone that

478
00:33:22.120 --> 00:33:25.780
they're not, they don't even like, that they're not even attracted to. Y'all, that's not a good

479
00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:30.820
That's not a good father. That sounds like a torturer, doesn't it?

480
00:33:31.700 --> 00:33:38.060
God is not a torturer. He is a loving father. And so the areas where we have the most problems,

481
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:43.720
where we are stuck the most, those are signals to us that we have unhealed wounds in those areas.

482
00:33:43.860 --> 00:33:48.820
So if we're struggling, again, kind of back to her example there, if we're struggling with fear

483
00:33:49.080 --> 00:33:54.120
in certain areas, well, that is a signal saying, okay, there's an unhealed wound here.

484
00:33:54.120 --> 00:34:00.040
Whether we realize what it is or not. Proverbs 23 7, and this is from the amplified version,

485
00:34:00.180 --> 00:34:08.880
you all. It says, for as a person thinks in his heart, her heart, so is he. As a person thinks in

486
00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:14.260
his heart, so is he. So you don't have to put this into the chat, but I want you to pause and

487
00:34:14.260 --> 00:34:19.100
think about this as well. When you had those negative emotions, whenever they occurred,

488
00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:25.780
what were the thoughts that you had in your heart about yourself and your life?

489
00:34:28.500 --> 00:34:34.780
It's saying, for as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. So if we're, if we're thinking on

490
00:34:34.780 --> 00:34:38.540
negative things and we're ruminating on those negative things, y'all will guess what's going

491
00:34:38.540 --> 00:34:47.699
to manifest in our life. Those aspects, right? Jackie, you know, talks a lot about when we build

492
00:34:47.699 --> 00:34:54.320
walls, we attract thieves. And it's so true. It's so true. So if you're not sure how to let

493
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:59.920
your walls down, ask the Lord to help you. And I love, I love to remind you all.

494
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.380
that God doesn't typically bring in a wrecking ball.

495
00:35:05.320 --> 00:35:08.920
Again, that's fear-based. That's the wrong perception of God.

496
00:35:09.940 --> 00:35:17.640
From my experience, God helped me take the wall down, the walls. I had more than one brick by brick,

497
00:35:18.780 --> 00:35:25.680
you know, as I was ready. And he helped me understand that I was safe because he was with me.

498
00:35:26.730 --> 00:35:34.350
Okay. All right. Flies, lies, and counterfeit lives. Remember that the flies come in. We talked

499
00:35:34.350 --> 00:35:39.670
about that a couple weeks ago. And they plant their little larvae right in the core where they

500
00:35:39.670 --> 00:35:44.530
get a good old juicy wound to eat off of and thrive and lay more eggs and all the things.

501
00:35:44.750 --> 00:35:49.630
And that's how they reproduce, right? And then we start living into these counterfeit identities

502
00:35:49.630 --> 00:35:55.770
without even realizing that we are. We pick people that we should never pick. We know they're not

503
00:35:55.770 --> 00:36:00.810
good for us, but we go ahead and blow past red flags and we just keep on going. We convince

504
00:36:00.810 --> 00:36:05.250
ourselves that there may never come another person, so we better just date this person.

505
00:36:05.790 --> 00:36:11.750
No, y'all, that's not truth. And this isn't just even about romantic things. I will tell you guys,

506
00:36:12.510 --> 00:36:16.130
so many people in our community that struggle with, like myself included,

507
00:36:17.050 --> 00:36:23.650
with financial situations and dynamics, it goes back to the heart. It goes back to,

508
00:36:24.210 --> 00:36:29.790
you know, what we believe about money, orphan mentalities, limited belief systems. It goes

509
00:36:29.790 --> 00:36:34.690
back to brokenness and things that we experienced as, you know, kids growing up, things that we

510
00:36:34.690 --> 00:36:40.130
heard our parents saying. And so if you are someone that, you know, habitually struggles

511
00:36:40.790 --> 00:36:45.670
financially, I really want to encourage you to be praying into what's the root of that.

512
00:36:46.070 --> 00:36:49.750
You know, Lord, where do you want to heal? What do you want to heal in me so that that doesn't

513
00:36:49.750 --> 00:36:55.710
continue in my life in the days to come? That you are a lender and a lender and not a borrower.

514
00:36:56.610 --> 00:37:02.250
That is who, that's our, that is what God has called us to be in this kingdom or in his kingdom

515
00:37:02.250 --> 00:37:07.450
here on earth. You know what I'm saying? So like, I want you to not partner with, I'm just, I've

516
00:37:07.450 --> 00:37:11.370
always been in debt. I'm all, I've always had money problems. I can't ever get out of this hole.

517
00:37:11.490 --> 00:37:17.550
You might feel like that right now, but I promise you as you heal, if you choose differently

518
00:37:18.110 --> 00:37:22.130
and you start to do different things that God is leading you to do with your money,

519
00:37:22.610 --> 00:37:26.290
you will be able to shift the way that your life is.

520
00:37:26.870 --> 00:37:31.050
Little by little by little, ladies, as we get breakthrough, then we can get more revelation.

521
00:37:31.270 --> 00:37:35.370
Then that can give momentum to get the next breakthrough and then the next breakthrough.

522
00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:40.810
And so we just have to keep going and asking God for another upgrade and insight so that we can

523
00:37:40.810 --> 00:37:45.590
make different decisions. And then also reminding you all that sometimes we have these squatters in

524
00:37:45.590 --> 00:37:50.870
our hearts. If you weren't on in that session, again, I'm kind of circling back. We're starting

525
00:37:50.870 --> 00:37:57.330
to head back towards that content, but squatters are people that come in and take residence in a

526
00:37:57.330 --> 00:38:03.030
home that is not theirs. They, they, they think it's empty, but it, because nobody's currently

527
00:38:03.030 --> 00:38:08.050
living there. And in certain States, when it gets really cold, there's actually laws to protect

528
00:38:08.050 --> 00:38:12.430
these squatters and you can't remove them from your home. It's kind of crazy, but I want you

529
00:38:12.430 --> 00:38:16.510
to understand that there are squatters in your heart. There's, there's these lies that have come

530
00:38:16.510 --> 00:38:21.350
in your heart and they've taken up residence and they don't belong there. And guess who the only

531
00:38:21.350 --> 00:38:28.390
person is that can kick them out? You. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, understanding and

532
00:38:28.390 --> 00:38:32.530
getting revelation that, you know, Hey, this isn't truth. This doesn't belong in my heart.

533
00:38:32.590 --> 00:38:39.030
This is not aligned with God's destiny for me. God, God's called me to like, to, uh, into marriage

534
00:38:39.030 --> 00:38:43.150
and into family. Well, if he's calling you into marriage and family, you all, then why are we

535
00:38:43.170 --> 00:38:50.890
believing the lie that it's never going to happen for us? Well, that's an old tape. That's an old

536
00:38:50.890 --> 00:38:55.530
record that's still playing that we need to get to the root of why, why is that still in there?

537
00:38:55.630 --> 00:38:59.850
Why is that still something we're believing and partnering with? Um, and maybe yours is a

538
00:38:59.850 --> 00:39:04.270
different lie, but I'm just using that as an example. So remember these squatters are enemies

539
00:39:04.270 --> 00:39:09.910
to your breakthrough and your progress. So that's why we want to kick them out and we want to serve

540
00:39:09.910 --> 00:39:14.470
them in eviction notice. And we're going to do that a little bit more tonight. So your question,

541
00:39:14.510 --> 00:39:20.190
when you go into breakout is what is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your

542
00:39:20.470 --> 00:39:26.390
spirit tonight for revealing for healing. So some of you, you can use the emotion you put in the

543
00:39:26.390 --> 00:39:30.670
chat. You might not already know that that's what you want to talk about. Maybe for you, it's

544
00:39:30.670 --> 00:39:35.810
actually a memory that came up as I've been talking tonight. So you're going to go in there.

545
00:39:35.970 --> 00:39:39.850
What is the negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight for revealing

546
00:39:39.850 --> 00:39:44.410
for healing? Before we do that, I know that I didn't give you a heads up Annette, because I

547
00:39:44.410 --> 00:39:47.930
couldn't remember last night when you left, if you were going to be able to be on tonight. And so if

548
00:39:47.930 --> 00:39:52.630
you have anything that came to mind, no pressure if you don't, but anything that you feel led to

549
00:39:52.630 --> 00:39:56.830
on the revealing for healing, feel free to share.

550
00:39:59.030 --> 00:39:59.850
I also

551
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.960
struggled with fear around a lot of things. It fear really kept

552
00:40:07.960 --> 00:40:13.140
me prisoner in, in my own life. And when I would have the

553
00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:21.280
feelings, and and I would think back or think to events, really

554
00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:27.800
fear dominated my life. And it gave me a lot of opportunity to

555
00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:32.680
experience freedom, because when I prayed into it, and God would

556
00:40:32.820 --> 00:40:37.480
just reveal things to me. And I'm trying to come, I'm trying

557
00:40:37.480 --> 00:40:42.840
to have something even simple come to mind. Because I just

558
00:40:43.500 --> 00:40:48.100
anticipated the worst, like as an overall principle, if if

559
00:40:48.100 --> 00:40:51.520
something could happen, I anticipated that it was the

560
00:40:51.520 --> 00:40:57.260
worst case scenario that was going to happen. And God has

561
00:40:57.320 --> 00:41:02.720
really checked my heart, and my thought process and is really

562
00:41:02.720 --> 00:41:07.120
speaking to me in so many different avenues, even now,

563
00:41:07.540 --> 00:41:11.080
because I've had healing in my heartwork, but new things come

564
00:41:11.080 --> 00:41:15.220
up all the time, new layers, new things, it's like, I didn't even

565
00:41:15.240 --> 00:41:19.920
realize that and the Holy Spirit will reveal things to me of

566
00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:23.760
feelings that I've had, that I've continued to have, but I

567
00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:28.260
haven't identified. Like Bethany said, I've just trusted him to

568
00:41:28.260 --> 00:41:31.460
reveal the things to me in the time that it needs to be

569
00:41:31.640 --> 00:41:34.440
revealed. And sometimes I'm like, why didn't I get that

570
00:41:34.440 --> 00:41:38.880
sooner? But it's just been layer upon layer upon layer that

571
00:41:38.880 --> 00:41:43.880
really has shifted my mindset to I will when I'm brushing my

572
00:41:43.880 --> 00:41:47.860
teeth in the morning, speak scripture, well, maybe not while

573
00:41:47.860 --> 00:41:50.480
I'm blowing and brushing my teeth blowing, you know,

574
00:41:50.480 --> 00:41:55.800
toothpaste bubbles everywhere. But I will all think scripture

575
00:41:56.140 --> 00:42:01.280
over over me for the day. I have a lot of body image issues that

576
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:05.960
I have to overcome. And so I will still say to the I am

577
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:09.820
fearfully and wonderfully made. And if a negative thought comes

578
00:42:09.820 --> 00:42:13.260
to my mind about something with my appearance, God's brought

579
00:42:13.260 --> 00:42:16.460
that up to me to where I'll think about something that is

580
00:42:16.460 --> 00:42:20.880
true about me what God's Word says about me, so that I don't

581
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:28.540
continue to speak those negative things over me. And that that's

582
00:42:28.540 --> 00:42:32.760
been a those kind of things have been big for me. It's, I know

583
00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:37.080
that's not a specific example. But there's just many times

584
00:42:37.700 --> 00:42:44.220
where I am amazed at the transformation that happens when

585
00:42:44.220 --> 00:42:47.860
you just, you know, that your thoughts are going south, or

586
00:42:47.860 --> 00:42:51.340
that fear or something is coming up. And when you speak the truth

587
00:42:51.340 --> 00:42:56.960
of what God's Word says, it really brings a shift into just

588
00:42:57.180 --> 00:43:00.940
a lightheartedness and a peace that comes when you're standing

589
00:43:00.940 --> 00:43:01.920
in God's Word.

590
00:43:02.460 --> 00:43:05.760
So good, and it's okay that there wasn't a specific like

591
00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:08.580
honed in, because what you were saying was really, really good.

592
00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:12.300
I the reality is, is, you know, the enemy is gonna, he's gonna

593
00:43:12.300 --> 00:43:15.880
come against our minds, ladies, but we, the Word declares that,

594
00:43:16.900 --> 00:43:21.120
you know, through Christ Jesus, we can guard our hearts and our

595
00:43:21.120 --> 00:43:25.240
minds, you know, and that is truth. And so God can help us

596
00:43:25.240 --> 00:43:28.040
overcome all of that. Thank you so much for sharing that, Annette.

597
00:43:28.420 --> 00:43:31.980
Okay, so what negative emotion or memory is God bringing up for

598
00:43:31.980 --> 00:43:34.240
you for revealing for healing tonight? Let me get these

599
00:43:34.240 --> 00:43:41.940
breakout rooms ready. Eloise was with us last night. I see her on

600
00:43:41.940 --> 00:43:44.640
here now. Hi, you might have been on already. And I just

601
00:43:44.640 --> 00:43:45.860
didn't see you before now. But

602
00:43:45.860 --> 00:43:50.020
it took me almost half an hour to get on. I've just been

603
00:43:50.020 --> 00:43:54.920
standing in traffic, trying to get this computer to work. So

604
00:43:54.940 --> 00:43:59.460
praise the Lord that you're here. Yeah. All right. So good

605
00:43:59.460 --> 00:44:02.720
to see everybody. Last night. Just amazing.

606
00:44:04.120 --> 00:44:08.760
Let's do we'll do eight minutes. So each person have a couple

607
00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:11.500
rooms that there might be three people, but I might depending on

608
00:44:11.500 --> 00:44:14.940
where everyone lands, have to shift some people around.

609
00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:20.140
Remember, if you get into a room and nobody's talking, or maybe

610
00:44:20.140 --> 00:44:23.660
the person's just not there yet. Okay. Sometimes some people's

611
00:44:23.660 --> 00:44:27.240
internet lags. So give them a little bit of time. If I see

612
00:44:27.240 --> 00:44:29.660
people drop off and you're sitting there by yourself, don't

613
00:44:29.660 --> 00:44:32.200
panic. I'll move you around. I can see all that on the back

614
00:44:32.200 --> 00:44:34.720
end. Okay. And remember that you're not here to coach other

615
00:44:34.700 --> 00:44:37.880
people. Lady is really, really important. You are helpers in

616
00:44:37.880 --> 00:44:40.140
here. You guys are always wanting to help each other get

617
00:44:40.140 --> 00:44:43.620
breakthrough. All you need to do tonight is share your story,

618
00:44:44.260 --> 00:44:46.880
share your revealing for healing. And and all you need

619
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:49.340
to say if you're the person listening is thank you so much

620
00:44:49.460 --> 00:44:52.880
for trusting me with your story. And you guys can talk about Oh

621
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:55.420
my gosh, yeah, I relate to that. You can say that kind of stuff.

622
00:44:55.680 --> 00:44:59.320
But don't don't go into advising or trying to figure out their

623
00:44:59.320 --> 00:44:59.940
stuff for them.

624
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.420
Okay, that's my job, that's Annette's job.

625
00:45:02.660 --> 00:45:04.820
And so you guys just get to be here as sisters

626
00:45:04.820 --> 00:45:06.600
and cheer each other on, okay?

627
00:45:06.600 --> 00:45:07.220
Super important.

628
00:45:07.520 --> 00:45:09.340
All right, this is gonna pop up on your screen there.

629
00:45:09.420 --> 00:45:11.020
Go ahead and click to join those.

630
00:45:17.500 --> 00:45:19.880
And as soon as I get a lot of them situated,

631
00:45:20.100 --> 00:45:21.580
we will start to pray.

632
00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:39.360
All right.

633
00:45:43.180 --> 00:45:44.140
Hey, Bethany.

634
00:45:46.500 --> 00:45:48.660
You must be having the same issue again.

635
00:45:49.360 --> 00:45:51.060
Yeah, it's so crazy.

636
00:45:52.240 --> 00:45:54.420
I don't know how to solve it for you, unfortunately.

637
00:45:55.240 --> 00:45:57.140
I literally don't know how to help you

638
00:45:57.140 --> 00:45:57.920
with what's happening.

639
00:45:58.440 --> 00:46:02.700
I would really encourage you to look on Zoom,

640
00:46:03.160 --> 00:46:04.380
like in Troubleshoot,

641
00:46:04.520 --> 00:46:05.340
you need to make sure you have

642
00:46:05.340 --> 00:46:06.980
the most recent version of Zoom.

643
00:46:07.740 --> 00:46:10.360
If you don't, it's gonna cause problems for you.

644
00:46:10.900 --> 00:46:12.780
Okay, let me try to go figure that out.

645
00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:13.960
Okay.

646
00:46:24.460 --> 00:46:26.600
All right, Father, we just thank you so much

647
00:46:26.600 --> 00:46:28.420
for everything that you're doing.

648
00:46:28.940 --> 00:46:30.420
We thank you, God, for revealings,

649
00:46:30.660 --> 00:46:31.640
for healing that are happening.

650
00:46:31.980 --> 00:46:35.200
I pray that you would help Lisa be able to figure out

651
00:46:35.200 --> 00:46:37.160
this tech issue that keeps happening.

652
00:46:37.500 --> 00:46:38.720
God, that can be so frustrating.

653
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:41.340
I pray that you would just pour into her abundantly

654
00:46:41.340 --> 00:46:43.740
right now as she's looking into that.

655
00:46:44.080 --> 00:46:46.620
And even as just this has been happening for several weeks,

656
00:46:46.780 --> 00:46:48.680
God, I thank you that you would be with all the ladies

657
00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:51.080
in the breakout, those that are gonna watch this replay,

658
00:46:51.380 --> 00:46:55.840
that you would help them to be able to process

659
00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:58.240
all the things that you are showing them,

660
00:46:58.760 --> 00:47:00.520
God, the things that you're bringing to the surface,

661
00:47:00.720 --> 00:47:01.980
even things that they don't understand,

662
00:47:02.160 --> 00:47:06.600
God, I thank you that even as Elisa Veda

663
00:47:07.220 --> 00:47:09.880
was saying earlier that she's experiencing fear

664
00:47:09.880 --> 00:47:11.200
and things at times, Lord,

665
00:47:11.240 --> 00:47:15.060
I pray that you would reveal any wounds or trauma

666
00:47:15.060 --> 00:47:18.400
or anything from the past that created these lies

667
00:47:18.400 --> 00:47:20.020
and the fears to be there.

668
00:47:20.040 --> 00:47:25.220
God, I thank you that you're an amazing promise keeper

669
00:47:25.220 --> 00:47:27.320
that you lead us into all truth.

670
00:47:27.620 --> 00:47:28.200
Oh, Damaris, sorry.

671
00:47:28.280 --> 00:47:29.980
I thought that maybe you weren't going in.

672
00:47:30.420 --> 00:47:32.120
Let me move you.

673
00:47:34.060 --> 00:47:36.400
Could I also be put in a group too, Bethany?

674
00:47:37.220 --> 00:47:40.120
Yeah, Sarah, I don't see, oh, Damaris came back.

675
00:47:40.820 --> 00:47:41.480
Okay, cool.

676
00:47:46.560 --> 00:47:48.680
Damaris, I just sent that your way.

677
00:47:49.520 --> 00:47:51.180
Sarah, I don't see you.

678
00:47:51.200 --> 00:47:54.100
I don't know why I don't see you in the list here

679
00:47:54.100 --> 00:47:56.480
and it doesn't show a new joiner.

680
00:47:57.140 --> 00:47:57.640
Hold on one second.

681
00:47:57.780 --> 00:48:00.540
Let me just scroll and make sure I'm not missing anything.

682
00:48:00.820 --> 00:48:01.700
Oh, here you are.

683
00:48:01.820 --> 00:48:03.900
It just says that you never joined the room.

684
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:05.900
Send me a new one, okay.

685
00:48:06.340 --> 00:48:07.240
Okay, thank you.

686
00:48:07.580 --> 00:48:07.960
You're welcome.

687
00:48:09.040 --> 00:48:11.760
So Lord, we just thank you that you're continuing

688
00:48:12.540 --> 00:48:14.180
to weave in and out of conversations.

689
00:48:14.520 --> 00:48:16.380
Lord, I pray that you would bring things out of darkness

690
00:48:16.380 --> 00:48:17.900
into the light that are needed,

691
00:48:18.140 --> 00:48:20.480
that are necessary for them to get unstuck

692
00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:22.200
in areas where they might've felt stuck.

693
00:48:22.720 --> 00:48:25.340
We thank you, God, for connecting dots

694
00:48:25.340 --> 00:48:27.420
in the spirit realm, even right now,

695
00:48:27.520 --> 00:48:29.020
and in the days to come, God,

696
00:48:30.480 --> 00:48:32.920
that things that have happened to us,

697
00:48:33.160 --> 00:48:35.700
things that we've done, even choices we've made

698
00:48:35.700 --> 00:48:37.380
that have hindered things in us,

699
00:48:37.500 --> 00:48:39.980
that have brought brokenness or shame,

700
00:48:40.180 --> 00:48:41.480
any kind of guilt or condemnation

701
00:48:41.480 --> 00:48:43.000
that the enemy's putting on us.

702
00:48:43.020 --> 00:48:45.920
God, I thank you that you would just remove those off of us

703
00:48:45.940 --> 00:48:47.760
like weights just being removed.

704
00:48:48.800 --> 00:48:51.080
It makes me think of that right now,

705
00:48:51.080 --> 00:48:53.440
they're so popular as these weighted vests

706
00:48:53.440 --> 00:48:55.160
that these people are all wearing.

707
00:48:55.240 --> 00:48:57.060
And I actually bought one and I just haven't worn it yet,

708
00:48:57.400 --> 00:49:00.780
but it's just like shedding that when you're finished,

709
00:49:00.900 --> 00:49:01.920
you know, working out,

710
00:49:02.580 --> 00:49:04.820
that we would remove that stuff off of ourselves.

711
00:49:05.720 --> 00:49:09.780
And so I'm just asking God to help us to see in the spirit

712
00:49:09.780 --> 00:49:12.460
what he sees and to cling to what he's speaking.

713
00:49:12.740 --> 00:49:15.220
And it says in 1 Peter 5, 8,

714
00:49:15.660 --> 00:49:18.440
stay alert, watch out for your great enemy, the devil.

715
00:49:18.780 --> 00:49:20.740
He prowls around like a roaring lion,

716
00:49:20.740 --> 00:49:23.420
looking for someone to devour.

717
00:49:25.200 --> 00:49:27.140
And so Lord, we thank you that while he is,

718
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:29.100
you know, prowling around,

719
00:49:29.140 --> 00:49:32.980
looking for ways that he can devour us, excuse me,

720
00:49:33.160 --> 00:49:35.100
God, that you and your word declare

721
00:49:35.100 --> 00:49:37.240
that you raise up a standard against him, God,

722
00:49:37.460 --> 00:49:39.700
that you war on our behalf.

723
00:49:39.760 --> 00:49:42.180
And so Lord, we thank you that there in you,

724
00:49:42.220 --> 00:49:43.440
we can have peace and you,

725
00:49:43.580 --> 00:49:46.300
we can have confidence that we are secure in you.

726
00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:48.020
God, we thank you that you would help us

727
00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:50.000
to recognize that more and more.

728
00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:51.620
Ephesians 6, 12 says,

729
00:49:51.820 --> 00:49:54.160
for we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies,

730
00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:57.340
but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world,

731
00:49:57.880 --> 00:49:59.580
against mighty powers in this dark world

732
00:49:59.580 --> 00:49:59.980
and against.

733
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.560
evil spirits in the heavenly places. Again, God is light. Jesus is the light. He conquered all

734
00:50:06.560 --> 00:50:11.560
darkness. And so as we partner with him, as we, you know, plead the blood of Jesus Christ,

735
00:50:11.560 --> 00:50:17.320
we stand in that truth. And then God can enable us to overcome all of these, you know,

736
00:50:17.320 --> 00:50:26.840
evil things that were against us. Proverbs 18 verse 19, it is easier to conquer a strong city

737
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:32.540
than to win back a friend whom you've offended. Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible

738
00:50:32.760 --> 00:50:38.400
to win them back. And so, Lord, I thank you. Just even tonight, I just feel led to pray over

739
00:50:38.520 --> 00:50:43.600
friendships. And so I declare in Jesus' name that there would be healing in relationships,

740
00:50:43.780 --> 00:50:48.720
that there would be healing in friendships. God, where there's been brokenness, where there's been

741
00:50:48.840 --> 00:50:55.240
offense that has led to bitterness or resentment, unforgiveness, God, we just, we just thank you,

742
00:50:55.240 --> 00:50:59.240
Lord, for the balm of Gilead, that you would place that upon the wounds of our hearts,

743
00:50:59.820 --> 00:51:03.940
our souls, our spirits, God, that you would help us to forgive those who have harmed us,

744
00:51:04.060 --> 00:51:09.300
those who have ghosted us, those who have walked out on us, and it triggered abandonment in us.

745
00:51:09.320 --> 00:51:15.460
And I thank you, God, for speaking the truth in love to us. God, help us to see what we couldn't

746
00:51:15.560 --> 00:51:23.180
see even just an hour ago. I thank you, God, that, you know, sometimes people are removed because

747
00:51:23.180 --> 00:51:28.080
they're not healthy for us in the season that we're in. But Lord, I thank you that you would

748
00:51:28.080 --> 00:51:35.600
help us to understand, you know, is the person, have they been removed by you? Or is this something

749
00:51:35.600 --> 00:51:41.420
the enemy caused that that person partnered with or that division that came? And Lord, we just

750
00:51:41.420 --> 00:51:47.320
declare a spirit of reconciliation, a spirit of forgiveness, a spirit of healing to be evident in

751
00:51:47.320 --> 00:51:56.380
our lives in every area. Exodus 20 verse 6 says, I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations

752
00:51:56.380 --> 00:52:04.600
on those who love me and obey my commands. I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations

753
00:52:04.600 --> 00:52:09.060
on those who love me and obey my commands. So earlier, you know, I was talking to Megan about

754
00:52:09.140 --> 00:52:14.120
that heaviness and how I really believed God was showing me that that was a generational thing in

755
00:52:14.120 --> 00:52:20.280
her family. Here's the truth. God is saying that he lavishes unfailing love for a thousand generations.

756
00:52:20.640 --> 00:52:26.140
He's the one that comes in and he redeems our timeline. He walks all throughout our timeline

757
00:52:26.140 --> 00:52:31.940
and he can redeem anything, any generational thing that we're up against, any situation that we've

758
00:52:31.940 --> 00:52:37.820
endured. He can come in and heal all of those things and we can trust him to love us all the

759
00:52:37.820 --> 00:52:43.660
way through. Earlier, I was talking about, you know, how, you know, as we guard our hearts and

760
00:52:43.660 --> 00:52:47.600
minds through Christ Jesus that, you know, that freedom and that truth can come. Here's another

761
00:52:47.600 --> 00:52:53.260
scripture for you. Second Corinthians 10 5, we take captive every thought and make it obedient

762
00:52:53.260 --> 00:52:58.400
to Jesus Christ. So when those thoughts come that we're saying, okay, yeah, no, I'm not going to

763
00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:03.740
receive that in Jesus name. I'm going to take that captive. I'm going to cast that down and instead

764
00:53:03.740 --> 00:53:07.420
choose to believe what the word of God says. Well, if you don't know what the word of God says about

765
00:53:07.420 --> 00:53:13.300
the opposite of whatever that lie is, then literally you can go online and just like, if,

766
00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:17.360
you know, if you are battling fear, I'm just going to use that because we're talking about that a

767
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:23.560
little bit tonight. You can literally go online and type it on Google or whatever search engine

768
00:53:23.560 --> 00:53:29.600
you use, scriptures, excuse me, scriptures regarding fear and just see what all comes up.

769
00:53:29.600 --> 00:53:34.040
And then what scriptures are ministering to you, what scripture can help you cast that,

770
00:53:34.040 --> 00:53:38.260
you know, down and, and make it obedient to Christ that you don't have, you know, fear.

771
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:43.620
And so for mine, it was, um, let's see if I get this right. Second Timothy one seven.

772
00:53:44.160 --> 00:53:48.940
Is that right? Maybe for, I don't have a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love and of power and

773
00:53:48.940 --> 00:53:54.620
of a sound mind. I think it's second Timothy one seven. Um, and so I've partnered with that a lot

774
00:53:54.620 --> 00:53:57.940
and I would declare it, not just like I would declare it like that, but then I started saying,

775
00:53:58.020 --> 00:54:02.580
I, and at the time I was Bethany Stanko, I Bethany Stanko don't have a spirit of fear.

776
00:54:02.580 --> 00:54:06.140
I have a spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind. And I declared that

777
00:54:06.140 --> 00:54:10.820
even in the most intense attacks of fear that I was going through, I declared that truth.

778
00:54:11.020 --> 00:54:16.160
And I did it over and over and over again. Y'all, I still, I still face that fear. I still face some

779
00:54:16.160 --> 00:54:22.360
of those things, but over time, the more that I declared the truth, the less the enemy had a hold

780
00:54:22.360 --> 00:54:26.760
on me in those areas. And so I just want you to know, sometimes it takes repetition. Sometimes

781
00:54:26.760 --> 00:54:32.680
it takes time. You know, we're retraining our brains to think about truth instead of the lies.

782
00:54:33.180 --> 00:54:37.620
And so don't be hard on yourself. Just know that you will get there and it's going to be really

783
00:54:37.480 --> 00:54:42.140
great. Some hands are already up. That's awesome. I'm going to give you your activation for this

784
00:54:41.900 --> 00:54:49.340
week. And here's what it is. Create a post in the group this week on one of the following questions.

785
00:54:49.360 --> 00:54:53.040
And again, I'll post this in the group. So don't, you don't feel like you have to put it up or,

786
00:54:53.040 --> 00:54:58.120
you know, hurry and write this. Number one, what squatters are you evicting this week?

787
00:54:58.340 --> 00:54:59.880
You know, and I was talking about what.

788
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.680
eyes? What are the things that are taking up residence in your heart that don't belong there?

789
00:55:04.540 --> 00:55:10.380
Number two, who do you who do you pretend to be? And what mask do you need to remove? So we talked

790
00:55:10.380 --> 00:55:14.820
about that a little bit before, but I want you to be talking or thinking about that more. I am going

791
00:55:14.860 --> 00:55:18.860
to mention a couple of the squatters that I have recognized in people's lives over the years,

792
00:55:19.180 --> 00:55:25.640
including mine. And it is passivity, inactive, unreactive, inert. Are you someone that who

793
00:55:25.640 --> 00:55:32.000
really struggles with being really passive and even maybe passive aggressive? If that's you,

794
00:55:32.140 --> 00:55:36.680
that is not God's plan for you. That is called a squatter that's taking up residence in your heart.

795
00:55:38.780 --> 00:55:44.240
Inferiority, always thinking you're inferior to other people that you're not good enough. That's

796
00:55:44.240 --> 00:55:49.420
not truth. Cultural and family norms, like what are the things that you have learned through the

797
00:55:49.420 --> 00:55:54.960
culture that you were raised in or your family that are not aligning with the truth of God's

798
00:55:54.960 --> 00:56:01.720
poverty, mindset, lack, victimhood, religious mindsets. And if you're not sure if you have

799
00:56:01.720 --> 00:56:06.840
religious mindsets, you know, as you continue to share in here, I promise you before long,

800
00:56:06.860 --> 00:56:12.820
we're going to be able to help you spot those things. Scarcity, addictive behaviors, you know,

801
00:56:12.860 --> 00:56:17.520
wanting or needing something to medicate your pain, whether that's, you know, wine, whether that's

802
00:56:17.520 --> 00:56:27.240
um, um, sorry, I just needed to pause and just hear what the Lord is saying, whether that's, um,

803
00:56:27.360 --> 00:56:34.120
wine or some kind of actual medication or indulging in movies. Um, for some, it could be porn. It

804
00:56:34.120 --> 00:56:40.720
could be, you know, doing any kind of addictive behavior. Y'all hear what I'm saying? Anything

805
00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:46.720
that doesn't look like Jesus Christ, and you're doing it to numb yourself and to escape your

806
00:56:46.720 --> 00:56:51.880
current reality that you don't want, you don't want that in your heart. You want to, um, ask God

807
00:56:51.880 --> 00:56:57.080
to help you forgive yourself, be set free from that, and create space for the new things God

808
00:56:57.080 --> 00:57:03.140
has for you. And then the last one is bitterness. Y'all, the Bible talks a lot about don't let a

809
00:57:03.140 --> 00:57:09.500
bitter root take root. It's like bad. It quenches the flow of the Holy Spirit. So if you are someone

810
00:57:09.560 --> 00:57:13.520
that struggles with a lot of bitterness, there is hope for you. Okay. So don't get scared,

811
00:57:13.520 --> 00:57:18.800
but understand that, you know, underneath of that bitterness is sadness. It's hurt. There's

812
00:57:18.800 --> 00:57:23.480
all kinds of things under there, but God wants you to forgive the people that have harmed you.

813
00:57:24.060 --> 00:57:28.820
Forgive yourself. He wants you to let go of resentments and bitterness and unforgiveness

814
00:57:28.820 --> 00:57:34.780
and step into the river of life that is flowing, and it's flowing into your life if you'll let it.

815
00:57:35.400 --> 00:57:38.940
All right. Awesome. So Kalandra would love to hear what you have to say.

816
00:57:42.160 --> 00:57:47.520
Yes, ma'am. I love my group. We had two ladies in there, and we all just were able to encourage

817
00:57:47.520 --> 00:57:53.860
each other, and the first one was me having to give up a lot of church hurt, which was actually

818
00:57:53.860 --> 00:57:58.380
surprising for me because I love the Body of Christ. I've always been involved in church,

819
00:57:58.920 --> 00:58:03.660
but many years ago, I was involved in a mega church where the leader fell, and it was really

820
00:58:03.660 --> 00:58:08.180
hard. I dated his son. You know, I came from a broken home, so that family was so instrumental

821
00:58:08.180 --> 00:58:13.480
in my life, and they'd fallen from grace. I've since then seen them and loved them and believe

822
00:58:13.480 --> 00:58:18.300
in redemption, but it was a huge, huge fall. The church fell apart. It was an international scandal,

823
00:58:18.320 --> 00:58:24.380
all the things. I was in church this Sunday, and I just feel like through all this material about

824
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:31.300
hope and where hope has been lost or stagnant or things or squatters, there has been this

825
00:58:31.760 --> 00:58:35.380
guardedness. When I'm at church, I'm like, why am I always on my phone? I can't really sit still.

826
00:58:35.380 --> 00:58:39.040
It's hard for me to focus. It's hard for me to get into the sermons, and I go to a great church,

827
00:58:39.140 --> 00:58:43.400
y'all. I love them. They helped me through my divorce. I have nothing but good to say about

828
00:58:43.400 --> 00:58:47.300
the church. It's a healthy church, healthy leadership, but there is always me feeling

829
00:58:47.300 --> 00:58:54.460
like I'm on the outside looking in, and I'm not really connecting, and it was this squatter of

830
00:58:54.840 --> 00:58:58.740
guardedness, of defensiveness, of this doubt of saying, oh, well, they're going to let me

831
00:58:58.740 --> 00:59:04.260
down no matter what, so I have to protect myself. That was number one, and then two,

832
00:59:04.260 --> 00:59:08.340
the other ladies may chime in and relate on is, yes, I've been divorced, and I've dated the wrong

833
00:59:08.340 --> 00:59:14.620
guys, not living like we're married but not married, and so that squatter of having to make

834
00:59:14.620 --> 00:59:21.200
due, having to settle, having to, well, what's the point of being married? I just got to get by

835
00:59:21.200 --> 00:59:28.140
for the seat, this mindset of just, no, I want real covenant love, and so I am ready to

836
00:59:28.140 --> 00:59:34.100
go after these core, what is keeping me from not really connecting with people, from a healthy man,

837
00:59:34.100 --> 00:59:40.960
from church, my community, like this isolation, this squatter of isolation. I love this. I love

838
00:59:40.960 --> 00:59:46.300
that you're bringing this up, and that, yes, again, you know, God leads you guys here a lot

839
00:59:46.300 --> 00:59:52.520
of the time for your spirit mate, but he's doing so much more in all of you, and, you know, the

840
00:59:52.520 --> 00:59:58.900
revelations that you're getting, Calandra, are huge, and I am so glad that you recognize that

841
00:59:58.900 --> 00:59:59.980
even just constantly being

842
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.940
on your phone or being able to sit still, it was actually leading to something else that was under

843
01:00:04.940 --> 01:00:11.380
the surface there. And so I'm excited that you're recognizing it. I want to encourage you to ask the

844
01:00:11.400 --> 01:00:16.440
Lord to reveal, now you know when they fell and you know the whole thing there, but I want you

845
01:00:16.440 --> 01:00:21.560
to ask the Lord to reveal the first time you would experience any kind of church hurt. And maybe that

846
01:00:21.560 --> 01:00:26.260
was the first time, but I just want you to check and make sure, and make sure there's not additional

847
01:00:26.260 --> 01:00:32.880
layers underneath of that that also need healing. Because we can pick things up, you know, along the

848
01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:38.200
way all the time. If you guys kind of imagine carrying a bag on a walk, if you were just

849
01:00:38.200 --> 01:00:42.900
walking, you know, on a little mini hike, and along this road, they're like, you're walking on kind of

850
01:00:42.980 --> 01:00:49.580
like a stony road, if you will. And along that walk, every now and then you pick up a rock and

851
01:00:49.580 --> 01:00:53.880
you're like, oh, this is a cool rock. I'm going to put it in my bag. And then you walk a little

852
01:00:53.880 --> 01:00:58.600
further and you're like, oh, this is a cool rock. I'm going to put this in my bag. Now this is a little

853
01:00:58.600 --> 01:01:02.780
different. Like if we go through things, we're not necessarily like, oh, this is a cool rock. I'm going

854
01:01:02.780 --> 01:01:06.540
to put this in my bag. No, we're going through pain and there's something that's hurtful that's

855
01:01:06.540 --> 01:01:11.060
happening. But the reality is, is there's a rock that's getting put in your bag. That's what I'm

856
01:01:11.060 --> 01:01:18.780
trying to say. And so we can end up on further down on this journey and have all this weight

857
01:01:18.780 --> 01:01:26.100
in this bag that we're carrying and not even know it's there. That's, that's truth. Like you guys,

858
01:01:26.200 --> 01:01:30.220
sometimes we, and again, we're not always the one picking it up, but sometimes we are

859
01:01:30.420 --> 01:01:35.140
subconsciously when we're partnering with these lies, if you want to look at it that way. And so

860
01:01:35.140 --> 01:01:40.360
I love that she's recognizing this. God wants to heal you and set you free because you are an

861
01:01:40.360 --> 01:01:44.780
amazing church. It sounds really awesome, but he wants you to be able to fully connect and fully

862
01:01:44.780 --> 01:01:52.280
engage there, you know, and be really all in versus kind of there. But, you know, again, with those

863
01:01:52.280 --> 01:01:56.980
walls up where people may not actually be able to get to know the vulnerable aspects of you.

864
01:01:57.180 --> 01:02:03.100
And I look forward to hearing how that goes as you lean into that a little more. So great, Megan, go ahead.

865
01:02:05.800 --> 01:02:10.160
So I actually had something that kind of tied in with a couple of things this week.

866
01:02:11.160 --> 01:02:15.900
So this week I did get to go on like a walk with the Lord, which was amazing, and just like

867
01:02:15.900 --> 01:02:21.180
be outside, enjoy nature, and really received a lot of peace. But I really felt like the enemy

868
01:02:21.180 --> 01:02:28.800
attacked me a lot today with that like heaviness. And just so I applied for this one job and gotten

869
01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:36.240
through some interviews, but then they had asked some stipulations that were just wanting me to be

870
01:02:36.240 --> 01:02:42.860
in another state tomorrow. And I was like, that's kind of unreasonable. So just kind of processing

871
01:02:42.860 --> 01:02:47.220
if I should continue or not felt kind of heavy today, but it was just praying about it.

872
01:02:47.420 --> 01:02:55.040
And then I got a phone call from my brother today saying he just got a job offer and it was like

873
01:02:55.040 --> 01:03:00.200
everything he needed. It sounds amazing. It's like all these things. And he has been, I have been

874
01:03:00.200 --> 01:03:08.020
applying longer than he has. And so like I'm really happy for him, but there obviously were some lies

875
01:03:08.020 --> 01:03:12.620
that came in. But one thing I wanted to say was that they were quieter than what they have been

876
01:03:12.620 --> 01:03:19.880
in the past. So that was good. But it was just like, yet again, you're being left behind or

877
01:03:20.640 --> 01:03:25.180
you know, he's always getting to do things first, like stuff like that. Like he's married,

878
01:03:25.180 --> 01:03:32.260
has two kids. So those like, and I'm the oldest, so it's just that like, rooted lie in some ways.

879
01:03:34.040 --> 01:03:39.140
And it brought up a lot of like victimhood, which I'm like, that's something that needs to be

880
01:03:39.760 --> 01:03:46.940
evicted. And yeah, so I was just kind of tired of the victimhood and just trying to like,

881
01:03:48.240 --> 01:03:54.240
take ownership of those lies and deal with them. But yeah, so that's kind of like what

882
01:03:54.240 --> 01:03:57.860
just happened about three hours ago. So it's pretty fresh.

883
01:03:58.460 --> 01:04:04.540
Yeah. So on that, great job on owning it. Okay. And recognize that that's what those thoughts

884
01:04:04.540 --> 01:04:09.040
are rooted in. I want to encourage you to ask the Lord, when is the first time I viewed myself as a

885
01:04:09.080 --> 01:04:15.440
victim? Okay. Whether it was connected to your brother or someone else, just when is the first

886
01:04:15.440 --> 01:04:22.520
time Lord, like I postured as a victim. And let's see what he shows you on that. But I actually have

887
01:04:22.520 --> 01:04:29.220
an idea for you as well. Do you know, I don't know if you remember when I've kind of said to

888
01:04:29.220 --> 01:04:34.660
people to take just like an eight and a half by 11 sheet of paper and do like a mini vision board.

889
01:04:35.160 --> 01:04:41.560
I want you to do one regarding jobs, but not just like what kind of job you're looking for. I want

890
01:04:41.560 --> 01:04:48.680
you to ask God to give you a vision for even how you're going to posture yourself as you look for

891
01:04:48.680 --> 01:04:55.220
a job. Okay. So it might be words like, or phrases, you know, there might be phrases

892
01:04:55.220 --> 01:04:59.200
that you cut out pictures, but like what came to mind is I am successful.

893
01:05:00.860 --> 01:05:06.820
I attract a great job, you know, and you can even create some of them on a computer as you feel led

894
01:05:07.200 --> 01:05:11.320
and print those out or whatever, draw them on there, whatever you feel led to do. But I just,

895
01:05:12.020 --> 01:05:16.220
for whatever reason, I, you know, we've chatted about your job so many times, and I've not felt

896
01:05:16.220 --> 01:05:21.160
led to give this to you. But tonight, that's what's coming up. Because I think like hearing

897
01:05:21.160 --> 01:05:25.520
you talk about, you know, your brother getting a job and this comparison that's coming in

898
01:05:25.520 --> 01:05:30.480
to play here, even before you start talking about that, I felt like God was saying you

899
01:05:30.480 --> 01:05:36.140
needed to get a better glimpse of what he has for you. And the reality is, is that,

900
01:05:36.920 --> 01:05:43.260
you know, your brother, it may look like he's always getting things first, but they're,

901
01:05:43.580 --> 01:05:47.540
that's taken root somewhere too. So let's see where that lie, when's the first time you believe

902
01:05:47.540 --> 01:05:52.140
that lie. And let's, you know, see what the Lord might want to uncover there as well. So that's

903
01:05:52.140 --> 01:06:01.840
a lot, but I would do them, you know, pray about the root victim first, and you don't have to

904
01:06:01.840 --> 01:06:07.220
complete the vision board all just in this week. Like you can work on it over the next week or two,

905
01:06:07.280 --> 01:06:13.840
but I do think you working on that will help you. Again, it's about partnering with the truth

906
01:06:14.200 --> 01:06:22.120
regarding your, the job God has for you and the journey towards getting the job. So life-giving

907
01:06:22.120 --> 01:06:28.700
words, life-giving pictures, you know, things that it might be, even if like, let me say this

908
01:06:28.700 --> 01:06:34.140
too, even if you, there's a job that you would love to have, but in your mind, there's something

909
01:06:34.140 --> 01:06:38.480
that tells you, yeah, you you're probably not going to get that right now. I don't want you

910
01:06:38.480 --> 01:06:43.800
to hold back from putting something on that board. I want you to dream a little bit. I want you to

911
01:06:44.520 --> 01:06:48.440
really connect with your heart and what is it that you would love to be doing?

912
01:06:50.180 --> 01:06:57.420
And ladies, it's really important to understand something. If we are walking, and it's not her

913
01:06:57.420 --> 01:07:00.760
fault, there's been, you know, there's things that she's been through that have caused her

914
01:07:00.760 --> 01:07:06.020
to subconsciously partner with victim. But anytime we're walking in victim, you know,

915
01:07:06.040 --> 01:07:11.020
when we go on interviews or even when we're sending our resume out, whether we understand

916
01:07:11.020 --> 01:07:18.420
it or not, it's connected to those victim mindsets and postures, right? And so that shows

917
01:07:18.420 --> 01:07:26.180
up on the other side of things. And so it can actually hinder us from, you know, getting a job

918
01:07:26.220 --> 01:07:32.740
or, you know, our resume being highlighted to two people. And so I want you to partner to that,

919
01:07:32.900 --> 01:07:37.960
God, I believe that you're going to highlight me to the right employer. Okay, that just came up

920
01:07:37.620 --> 01:07:43.920
to. So we'll be praying for you. Yes, you're welcome. Thank you for sharing with us. Angie,

921
01:07:43.920 --> 01:07:56.080
go ahead. Sorry, um, I, I have been at this journey of trying to uncover lies and do inner

922
01:07:56.780 --> 01:08:06.400
healing for far over a decade. So I think there's this, I, so I have deep cycles of sorrow and

923
01:08:07.180 --> 01:08:14.640
just feeling stuck. And, um, there's a lot of layers, but I know it started when I was 12.

924
01:08:15.460 --> 01:08:21.939
And I just, I mean, there's so many memories, um, of just crying for hours and hours and hours,

925
01:08:21.939 --> 01:08:30.660
and it's, it's not normal. Um, and right now I'm in a season where I feel like I just don't

926
01:08:30.880 --> 01:08:35.740
know what God's doing with me. I believe he called me to move to a different area and I feel

927
01:08:36.620 --> 01:08:45.439
isolated and lonely in my job. I'm, um, I believe I'm serving well, and I have an important job

928
01:08:45.439 --> 01:08:55.500
in a certain sense, but it's unfulfilling and isolating. Um, and I just would love to step

929
01:08:55.500 --> 01:09:04.240
into more of who God created me to be without this cloak of heaviness and sadness creeping in

930
01:09:04.240 --> 01:09:13.700
and like this undertow. Hmm. Um, did your either, either one of your parents struggle with this too?

931
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:25.060
Um, no, I mean, there's a, there is mental illness in the family, but no, not exactly.

932
01:09:25.060 --> 01:09:30.620
My grandma did to some extent. Yeah. So it can skip a generation. You know that, right?

933
01:09:31.479 --> 01:09:40.300
Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you, like, I know the age and I know the circumstances around when

934
01:09:40.300 --> 01:09:50.840
it started. Okay. So, um, the first time that the deep cycle of sorrow was that when you were 12,

935
01:09:50.840 --> 01:09:57.980
12, when that first started, um, and you know what it was connected to? Well, there were a couple,

936
01:09:57.980 --> 01:09:59.500
a series of things.

937
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.040
So I know the couple things in place that happened, yeah.

938
01:10:04.520 --> 01:10:06.560
I don't know if you want me to share or not.

939
01:10:06.900 --> 01:10:08.180
If you're comfortable to, you can.

940
01:10:08.620 --> 01:10:09.040
Oh, yeah.

941
01:10:09.860 --> 01:10:15.720
So my mom had had six miscarriages, and then she got pregnant.

942
01:10:16.280 --> 01:10:23.560
Well, she had my first me, kind of, kind of, well, they were married, but it wasn't planned.

943
01:10:24.500 --> 01:10:26.700
Birth control didn't work properly.

944
01:10:26.700 --> 01:10:28.040
She got sick.

945
01:10:28.940 --> 01:10:32.540
So they had my brother, then six marriages, six miscarriages.

946
01:10:33.000 --> 01:10:40.260
Then my sister, then she was really nervous about being pregnant because she had lost them pretty far in three and four months.

947
01:10:40.620 --> 01:10:48.020
Then her dad, my grandpa got diagnosed with cancer and only had a few months to live.

948
01:10:49.020 --> 01:10:54.980
And then my grandmother, who was kind of abusive and stuff when my mom was growing up.

949
01:10:55.160 --> 01:11:03.260
My mom had to, she was the only one of five kids who carried the burden of helping with.

950
01:11:04.820 --> 01:11:10.040
So she had a newborn baby, and then I know that I got depressed.

951
01:11:10.200 --> 01:11:15.060
There was no, it was just like, there's no time to deal with that.

952
01:11:15.060 --> 01:11:22.260
Just keep going, be responsible, do the right thing, help the family, help your new sister, help your brother.

953
01:11:23.200 --> 01:11:24.640
Dad works all the time.

954
01:11:25.940 --> 01:11:27.940
Mom's just trying to keep above water.

955
01:11:28.800 --> 01:11:29.440
Grandpa's dying.

956
01:11:30.160 --> 01:11:31.980
So just a bunch of stuff there.

957
01:11:32.100 --> 01:11:34.720
So did you feel like you had to be a mom at 12?

958
01:11:34.840 --> 01:11:35.980
Is that what I hear you saying?

959
01:11:37.560 --> 01:11:40.540
Yeah, I mean, I already had a lot of responsibility.

960
01:11:40.540 --> 01:11:46.080
But I had to be kind of a little adult very early, but that just tipped the scale.

961
01:11:47.400 --> 01:11:54.980
So when's the first time that you can recall feeling like you were carrying adult responsibility as a child?

962
01:12:00.120 --> 01:12:14.800
I think I just always felt like I had to keep the peace because there was always stress and crisis from very early.

963
01:12:15.860 --> 01:12:16.300
Okay.

964
01:12:17.140 --> 01:12:24.300
So I know that you're saying you don't think that your mom had deep sorrow, but even hearing what you're talking about,

965
01:12:24.700 --> 01:12:27.400
I'm going to guess at some point she probably did.

966
01:12:28.140 --> 01:12:28.840
Yeah, I mean,

967
01:12:29.240 --> 01:12:30.180
She was good at hiding it.

968
01:12:30.680 --> 01:12:34.760
Yeah, her way of dealing with it was more through anger.

969
01:12:36.180 --> 01:12:36.640
Okay.

970
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:39.420
And see, this is a good, okay, so this is really good.

971
01:12:39.420 --> 01:12:48.900
Angie, I want you and everyone else to understand that sorrow does present itself differently in different people because of, you know,

972
01:12:48.900 --> 01:12:51.000
all the other things that they're bringing into the dynamic.

973
01:12:51.260 --> 01:12:59.800
And so you maybe cried for hours where your mom got angry, you know, or whatever was going on there.

974
01:13:00.320 --> 01:13:05.000
And so everybody has a different self-preservation technique, right?

975
01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:16.720
And so I do think that this, it just to me, just right from like, when you first started describing it, I mean, when someone says deep cycles of sorrow,

976
01:13:16.900 --> 01:13:23.160
yeah, I mean, we could have that as an individual, but typically when it goes real deep like that,

977
01:13:23.160 --> 01:13:29.000
and just this cyclical kind of situation that you feel like you've not really ever been able to get over it.

978
01:13:29.400 --> 01:13:31.860
It's like I was talking to Megan about earlier.

979
01:13:31.860 --> 01:13:37.460
There's another level of like, you're not just breaking this off of yourself.

980
01:13:37.760 --> 01:13:39.520
This is a generational thing.

981
01:13:39.980 --> 01:13:44.200
And that's why it can feel harder, if you will, to break it.

982
01:13:44.480 --> 01:13:48.960
But I know you said too, I've been on this journey for almost a decade.

983
01:13:49.340 --> 01:13:55.660
It sounds like there's this, also this posh, like inside, again, not that this is intentional,

984
01:13:55.660 --> 01:14:01.820
but your subconscious is kind of like, I, you know, God isn't really breaking me free.

985
01:14:02.040 --> 01:14:04.820
God's not really fulfilling his end of the bargain here.

986
01:14:05.040 --> 01:14:10.720
You know, and like, I mean, when I look back at my life, I mean, I'm 47.

987
01:14:11.660 --> 01:14:15.680
I've been on a healing journey since I was like 18.

988
01:14:16.640 --> 01:14:18.940
But I don't look at it in a negative way.

989
01:14:19.480 --> 01:14:22.280
Like, I'm just always like healed.

990
01:14:22.280 --> 01:14:24.820
Like, I feel like God is healing me all the time.

991
01:14:24.820 --> 01:14:30.220
And so I almost felt like it seemed like a burden to you.

992
01:14:30.540 --> 01:14:31.800
Do you feel that way?

993
01:14:32.040 --> 01:14:43.620
I just feel like I relentlessly tried to pursue healing and there's an exhaustion and a feeling of being left behind.

994
01:14:45.420 --> 01:14:47.560
Well, okay, so left behind how?

995
01:14:49.540 --> 01:14:58.860
Because it feels like normal people get to move forward in their lives and have emotional stability.

996
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.900
we just got to the root of something right there i don't know if you realize it you just said

997
01:15:03.900 --> 01:15:10.800
something really huge do you know what you just said it's okay if you don't i just want to see

998
01:15:10.800 --> 01:15:22.000
if you remember that my perception of what normal people normal people so that tells me right when

999
01:15:22.000 --> 01:15:27.160
you just said that that you don't think you're normal so you've believed a lie i really feel

1000
01:15:27.160 --> 01:15:32.540
holy spirit on this i think at the core that's part of the struggle for you is that you have

1001
01:15:32.540 --> 01:15:40.500
believed the lie that you are like not normal that there's something wrong with you and that isn't

1002
01:15:41.180 --> 01:15:46.300
truth the reality is is that we all struggle with things and we all struggle with them in different

1003
01:15:46.300 --> 01:15:54.640
ways and maybe you just weren't given the tools as a child that you needed to you know be able

1004
01:15:54.640 --> 01:16:01.920
to know how to thrive in this area you know like when when there's little babies babies can be

1005
01:16:01.920 --> 01:16:07.400
labeled if they're not thriving as failure to thrive and the reality is is this can start

1006
01:16:07.500 --> 01:16:11.520
to happen in our lives even when we're a little bit older and i think that's probably what was

1007
01:16:11.780 --> 01:16:17.280
happening is that you are able to thrive god can absolutely i was just talking about it i think when

1008
01:16:17.280 --> 01:16:22.160
you guys weren't in the breakouts and when you were coming back like god can go he goes all

1009
01:16:22.160 --> 01:16:28.660
our timeline and he can redeem and heal anything and so i don't want you i want you to really work

1010
01:16:28.660 --> 01:16:34.240
on not partnering with i'm left behind i'm not normal so we want to come out of agreement with

1011
01:16:34.240 --> 01:16:42.800
the lie i'm i'm not normal okay do you want me to say that all right go ahead what were

1012
01:16:42.800 --> 01:16:49.300
you gonna say do you want me to say that out loud or well i want you to say i angie am normal

1013
01:16:50.360 --> 01:17:19.220
i am normal i am angie am not left behind i am not i'm actually getting taken to the front of the

1014
01:17:21.320 --> 01:17:26.720
this is how it starts to happen ladies okay we might not fully believe it right now like even

1015
01:17:26.720 --> 01:17:31.060
as she's saying it she might not fully believe what what what i'm having her say but this is

1016
01:17:31.060 --> 01:17:37.120
where the shift will start to happen i remember when i was i don't know if i was already coaching

1017
01:17:37.120 --> 01:17:42.060
or if i was in boot camp but i had this vision literally there it was a dream and then i kind

1018
01:17:42.060 --> 01:17:49.840
of woke up as so it turned into a vision as i was like waking up and it was all these women in line

1019
01:17:50.760 --> 01:17:55.140
and they kept coming into the bathroom and they were kept cutting in front of me

1020
01:17:56.600 --> 01:18:02.880
and i just remember feeling so frustrated like why do these people keep cutting in front of me

1021
01:18:03.600 --> 01:18:09.320
and the lord told me that's what i actually believed in my heart that people were literally

1022
01:18:09.320 --> 01:18:14.180
taking things from me in my life they were cutting in front of me things that were meant for me were

1023
01:18:14.180 --> 01:18:20.320
getting taken and so um i started praying into that and then god gave me another vision that

1024
01:18:20.320 --> 01:18:26.680
connected to that and what i saw was i was at the front of the line and the reality is ladies

1025
01:18:26.720 --> 01:18:32.240
is we're all at the front of the line and that's what god started showing me like we view a line

1026
01:18:32.240 --> 01:18:36.400
as like there's one person and then everybody is behind the line just like we had a food line at

1027
01:18:36.400 --> 01:18:41.340
a party yeah sometimes the line feels really long and you're waiting for that thing that you want

1028
01:18:41.340 --> 01:18:46.920
and you get kind of frustrated because sometimes you have to wait well god's line is literally like

1029
01:18:46.920 --> 01:18:54.580
a horizontal line picture of that instead of a word one person and then everybody's behind that

1030
01:18:54.640 --> 01:19:04.060
person god's line is a horizontal line we're all first so if we can partner with that truth

1031
01:19:04.060 --> 01:19:08.980
i know it can be tough again because you're you're gonna have to shift your heart here because you've

1032
01:19:08.980 --> 01:19:13.600
been believing the lie that you're not normal and that you're getting left behind for a long time

1033
01:19:14.220 --> 01:19:19.880
which again i understand sounds like you've been through a lot but god wants you to know that he

1034
01:19:19.880 --> 01:19:24.920
did not want that for you he didn't want you to feel the weight of that responsibility as a kid

1035
01:19:24.920 --> 01:19:30.140
and he didn't want you to feel like you had to be the peacemaker all the time and and you know

1036
01:19:30.140 --> 01:19:36.540
calm your parents down or whoever it was and be their source you know and that's where i think

1037
01:19:36.540 --> 01:19:40.960
some of those shifts started happening is when we feel like we have to be the source for our parents

1038
01:19:40.960 --> 01:19:47.360
when god is the only source and we take that on and so i want you to kind of envision just taking

1039
01:19:47.360 --> 01:19:54.060
the backpack of your parents off of you tonight and even your grandfather and all the people that

1040
01:19:54.060 --> 01:19:59.700
whatever reason you felt led or had to because of the situation carry their load

1041
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.160
or make them be okay, that you can just say,

1042
01:20:04.200 --> 01:20:06.600
you know what, praise the Lord,

1043
01:20:06.680 --> 01:20:08.260
I get to lay that down tonight.

1044
01:20:09.940 --> 01:20:11.500
And for, you know, God will take care

1045
01:20:11.500 --> 01:20:12.480
of the generational stuff,

1046
01:20:12.480 --> 01:20:13.820
so I don't want you to worry about that,

1047
01:20:13.860 --> 01:20:14.740
but I want you to understand

1048
01:20:14.740 --> 01:20:16.420
that's why you feel it so much.

1049
01:20:17.760 --> 01:20:19.720
He's gonna come in and just start believing,

1050
01:20:19.900 --> 01:20:21.360
God, thank you so much for coming in

1051
01:20:21.360 --> 01:20:23.060
and redeeming my family timeline

1052
01:20:23.300 --> 01:20:25.500
and breaking me free from what's happened,

1053
01:20:25.600 --> 01:20:27.440
that you're gonna use me as a kinsman redeemer

1054
01:20:27.440 --> 01:20:28.600
to change things.

1055
01:20:29.300 --> 01:20:30.820
But God, it's your power in me,

1056
01:20:30.820 --> 01:20:32.340
I don't have to do anything alone.

1057
01:20:34.320 --> 01:20:34.720
You know?

1058
01:20:36.700 --> 01:20:39.300
And let's see, I think you even asking God

1059
01:20:39.300 --> 01:20:40.960
to give you a vision of what it looks like

1060
01:20:40.960 --> 01:20:42.300
for you to be at the front of the line

1061
01:20:42.300 --> 01:20:43.180
would be really good.

1062
01:20:43.460 --> 01:20:44.800
Not just what I said tonight,

1063
01:20:44.840 --> 01:20:46.660
but you just praying into that for yourself

1064
01:20:47.320 --> 01:20:49.200
and let's see what God shows you.

1065
01:20:49.400 --> 01:20:50.840
And as more things come up,

1066
01:20:50.860 --> 01:20:52.500
you can come into the group and post

1067
01:20:52.500 --> 01:20:55.060
and we can help you process out anything else

1068
01:20:55.060 --> 01:20:56.740
that's connected to this, that surfaces.

1069
01:20:58.600 --> 01:21:00.560
But any thoughts that you have

1070
01:21:00.560 --> 01:21:02.820
that tell you that you're not good enough,

1071
01:21:03.000 --> 01:21:03.840
that you're not normal,

1072
01:21:04.180 --> 01:21:07.320
that you're, again, left behind,

1073
01:21:08.080 --> 01:21:09.160
you know, anything like that,

1074
01:21:09.180 --> 01:21:12.080
that you just really try to take those captive

1075
01:21:12.080 --> 01:21:14.040
and not partner with those right now.

1076
01:21:14.100 --> 01:21:15.040
Well, at all, hopefully,

1077
01:21:15.220 --> 01:21:17.180
but just especially right now,

1078
01:21:17.180 --> 01:21:19.240
because we wanna help retrain your mind.

1079
01:21:19.360 --> 01:21:21.720
And so, you know,

1080
01:21:21.720 --> 01:21:23.920
sitting down and asking God to give you the opposite.

1081
01:21:24.200 --> 01:21:25.360
You know, I gave you a couple,

1082
01:21:25.640 --> 01:21:28.020
but where you really start to ask God

1083
01:21:28.020 --> 01:21:28.880
to give you the truth.

1084
01:21:28.960 --> 01:21:30.660
Remember the revealing for healing cycle,

1085
01:21:30.720 --> 01:21:32.600
we gotta find the truth to replace the lie.

1086
01:21:32.900 --> 01:21:35.560
But it needs to be truth that says something to you.

1087
01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:37.600
And so we write the declaration

1088
01:21:37.760 --> 01:21:39.320
and then we, you know, again,

1089
01:21:39.320 --> 01:21:41.600
you can use any search engine

1090
01:21:44.880 --> 01:21:47.640
and, you know, maybe scriptures about being chosen,

1091
01:21:49.140 --> 01:21:50.420
I think would be good,

1092
01:21:50.460 --> 01:21:52.520
or beloved, that you're his beloved.

1093
01:21:53.340 --> 01:21:53.620
Guess what?

1094
01:21:53.660 --> 01:21:54.660
When we're his beloved,

1095
01:21:54.840 --> 01:21:57.120
that means he's taking good care of us.

1096
01:21:57.120 --> 01:21:59.700
You know, and he's not withholding from us.

1097
01:21:59.740 --> 01:22:00.680
He's not a trickster.

1098
01:22:00.780 --> 01:22:02.360
He's not gonna dangle carrots and be like,

1099
01:22:02.420 --> 01:22:03.420
oh, nope, just kidding.

1100
01:22:03.800 --> 01:22:04.920
You don't get that.

1101
01:22:05.400 --> 01:22:06.820
I'm gonna give it to your sister instead.

1102
01:22:08.320 --> 01:22:08.620
Right?

1103
01:22:09.080 --> 01:22:12.160
And so looking up scriptures of that,

1104
01:22:12.220 --> 01:22:13.740
I think will be really helpful for you

1105
01:22:13.740 --> 01:22:14.700
and just read through them

1106
01:22:14.700 --> 01:22:16.440
and see what speaks to your heart.

1107
01:22:17.720 --> 01:22:18.220
Okay?

1108
01:22:20.000 --> 01:22:21.020
You got this.

1109
01:22:21.460 --> 01:22:22.480
It's one step at a time.

1110
01:22:22.840 --> 01:22:24.300
And I want you all to know

1111
01:22:24.300 --> 01:22:28.420
when there's deep things like that,

1112
01:22:29.000 --> 01:22:30.260
it might take a little longer,

1113
01:22:30.380 --> 01:22:31.580
but you are gonna get there.

1114
01:22:32.080 --> 01:22:32.080


1115
01:22:32.380 --> 01:22:33.100
I lost you on my screen.

1116
01:22:34.280 --> 01:22:36.940
And so just give yourself a lot of grace.

1117
01:22:38.240 --> 01:22:41.460
If you need to take a little longer in the heart work,

1118
01:22:41.600 --> 01:22:43.200
it is okay, Angie,

1119
01:22:43.320 --> 01:22:45.580
because I think it's gonna be really important for you

1120
01:22:45.580 --> 01:22:49.060
to get this part worked out before you move forward.

1121
01:22:49.080 --> 01:22:49.500
Okay?

1122
01:22:49.500 --> 01:22:52.800
Because this will show up in your dating relationships,

1123
01:22:52.800 --> 01:22:55.480
the way that you're viewing things right now, for sure.

1124
01:22:56.300 --> 01:22:56.300


1125
01:22:56.960 --> 01:22:57.600
All right.

1126
01:22:57.680 --> 01:22:57.960
Awesome.

1127
01:22:58.080 --> 01:22:59.940
Thank you for letting us hear that,

1128
01:23:00.320 --> 01:23:02.240
the part of your story and trusting us with that.

1129
01:23:03.060 --> 01:23:03.660
Yeah.

1130
01:23:04.360 --> 01:23:04.960
All right.

1131
01:23:05.020 --> 01:23:05.840
Tiffany, go ahead.

1132
01:23:06.780 --> 01:23:07.160
Okay.

1133
01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:10.060
So mine was fear.

1134
01:23:11.000 --> 01:23:14.980
And this one is actually towards myself

1135
01:23:15.100 --> 01:23:17.680
and not someone else.

1136
01:23:19.720 --> 01:23:21.840
I don't wanna beat a dead horse,

1137
01:23:21.840 --> 01:23:25.420
but it's that been married three times

1138
01:23:25.420 --> 01:23:28.700
and all three times having known

1139
01:23:28.880 --> 01:23:32.040
that I heard the Lord say, this is not the one.

1140
01:23:32.240 --> 01:23:34.640
But like I was sharing in the room with the girls,

1141
01:23:34.700 --> 01:23:37.000
like I was already so invested

1142
01:23:37.540 --> 01:23:40.720
and just the lies that I believed about,

1143
01:23:40.800 --> 01:23:42.440
this would be the only one

1144
01:23:42.440 --> 01:23:44.980
and what would people think and yada, yada, yada.

1145
01:23:45.440 --> 01:23:48.220
And it's like my second one,

1146
01:23:49.100 --> 01:23:53.280
I was actively seeking the Lord.

1147
01:23:53.540 --> 01:23:54.640
I was following the Lord.

1148
01:23:54.860 --> 01:23:57.600
I even had a conversation with him that said,

1149
01:23:57.960 --> 01:23:58.640
hey, you know what?

1150
01:23:58.760 --> 01:24:00.880
I did things really wrong the first time,

1151
01:24:00.960 --> 01:24:02.360
this time it's gotta be different.

1152
01:24:03.060 --> 01:24:06.020
If you're not a Christ follower, it's just not gonna work.

1153
01:24:06.100 --> 01:24:09.700
I really like you, but this is a non-negotiable for me.

1154
01:24:10.120 --> 01:24:15.580
And we had a lunch and he looked me in the eyes

1155
01:24:15.580 --> 01:24:18.140
and said, I'm an atheist.

1156
01:24:18.600 --> 01:24:22.900
And I was like, okay, well, it's been nice knowing you.

1157
01:24:23.020 --> 01:24:25.420
Basically, we broke up at that point,

1158
01:24:26.060 --> 01:24:28.980
went back to the office within two hours.

1159
01:24:29.180 --> 01:24:32.040
He was like, I won't keep you from going to church.

1160
01:24:32.180 --> 01:24:38.800
All the things that they'll say, and I took him back.

1161
01:24:39.980 --> 01:24:44.300
And so it's that fear of,

1162
01:24:51.500 --> 01:24:58.660
I thought, I thought I was sold out.

1163
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.260
You might've been sold out, but he wasn't sold out.

1164
01:25:02.540 --> 01:25:03.600
That's the difference.

1165
01:25:03.660 --> 01:25:04.300
Right.

1166
01:25:04.340 --> 01:25:06.260
I didn't stand on my beliefs.

1167
01:25:06.260 --> 01:25:15.440
Like I allowed myself to settle when I said that's, you know, and it's so it's

1168
01:25:15.440 --> 01:25:22.240
like, I've now followed the Lord for seven years and so it's, I think this is

1169
01:25:22.320 --> 01:25:29.060
the biggest piece that freaks me out because it's not, it's not someone else.

1170
01:25:29.060 --> 01:25:30.420
Like that was on me.

1171
01:25:30.420 --> 01:25:32.380
I made those choices.

1172
01:25:33.140 --> 01:25:38.400
But this time, remember this time you, if you choose to, you

1173
01:25:38.400 --> 01:25:39.760
know, you're telling us already.

1174
01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:43.320
So I'm going to know as one of the coaches in this community

1175
01:25:43.320 --> 01:25:44.740
that this is a struggle for you.

1176
01:25:44.920 --> 01:25:45.300
Okay.

1177
01:25:45.620 --> 01:25:50.960
And so when you move forward and you start to date, I might say to you, Hey,

1178
01:25:51.020 --> 01:25:59.040
how's it going with like listening to what God's showing you, you know what I'm

1179
01:25:59.040 --> 01:26:03.280
what are the things that you are concerned about, you know, and you know,

1180
01:26:03.280 --> 01:26:08.660
where we really help you stay accountable to not avoiding the red flags, right.

1181
01:26:08.740 --> 01:26:09.940
And ignoring them, like I was saying.

1182
01:26:10.720 --> 01:26:15.840
And so fear towards yourself, I think actually you need to forgive yourself.

1183
01:26:17.280 --> 01:26:21.100
Like, I do think that you battle with fear, but I think underneath it's

1184
01:26:21.100 --> 01:26:27.800
really that there's additional layers of forgiving yourself for basically

1185
01:26:27.800 --> 01:26:32.120
what I heard you saying is not listening to things that God was showing you.

1186
01:26:33.220 --> 01:26:37.580
You know, which that's what causes the self doubt in us, because we actually,

1187
01:26:38.280 --> 01:26:41.040
we didn't listen to ourselves and to God.

1188
01:26:41.200 --> 01:26:43.480
And that's where we get angry with ourselves.

1189
01:26:43.740 --> 01:26:45.780
We resent ourselves, you know?

1190
01:26:45.800 --> 01:26:49.180
And so forgiving yourself is going to be really key.

1191
01:26:49.220 --> 01:26:51.980
And I think that's going to set you free from the fear.

1192
01:26:52.060 --> 01:26:54.420
Am I saying it's, it's not, it's going to be easy.

1193
01:26:54.420 --> 01:26:58.900
No, I'm, but I am saying to you that if you stay in community, I think the

1194
01:26:58.900 --> 01:27:00.560
outcome can be way different this time.

1195
01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:06.540
It can be because you're, you have reinforcements helping you like, Hey,

1196
01:27:06.560 --> 01:27:08.260
remember those training wheels, Tiffany?

1197
01:27:08.620 --> 01:27:12.460
Like, let's keep those on, you know, remember this, you know, where we can

1198
01:27:12.460 --> 01:27:17.060
kind of help you versus like when you were, you know, I mean, I don't know if

1199
01:27:17.060 --> 01:27:21.020
you ever shared with anybody before, like, Hey, I'm, he's telling me he's an

1200
01:27:21.200 --> 01:27:26.860
atheist and, you know, but he's saying he'll, you know, come, let me go to church.

1201
01:27:26.900 --> 01:27:27.620
He won't hold me back.

1202
01:27:27.700 --> 01:27:28.580
What do you think about this?

1203
01:27:28.840 --> 01:27:31.920
I don't know if you ever told anybody that before that was a Christian, that was

1204
01:27:31.920 --> 01:27:35.260
a healthy person, but I know that you're telling us this.

1205
01:27:35.520 --> 01:27:39.020
And so your other sisters here in the sister squad, if they're also in the

1206
01:27:39.020 --> 01:27:45.340
community at that time can also say, Hey, Tiffany, yeah, no, this, I think you, I

1207
01:27:45.340 --> 01:27:47.480
think God has something better in a loving way.

1208
01:27:47.580 --> 01:27:49.120
We can say, Hey, yeah, no.

1209
01:27:49.120 --> 01:27:53.800
Remember when you said this and if you're willing to receive it, then

1210
01:27:53.800 --> 01:27:55.660
we, then we can be that help for you.

1211
01:27:56.200 --> 01:27:59.940
And that's what I found to be very true about this community.

1212
01:28:00.060 --> 01:28:03.580
I mean, I, I was afraid to make the same mistakes.

1213
01:28:03.680 --> 01:28:07.060
I wasn't married three times, but I definitely chose three different people

1214
01:28:07.060 --> 01:28:09.160
that were all very unhealthy right in a row.

1215
01:28:09.420 --> 01:28:11.480
And so of course I was scared.

1216
01:28:12.780 --> 01:28:14.520
I didn't want to make the same mistakes.

1217
01:28:14.520 --> 01:28:20.300
Uh, and I blew past red flags too, but God taught me how to own that stuff, how

1218
01:28:20.300 --> 01:28:23.960
to forgive myself and then this time around, not make the same mistakes.

1219
01:28:23.960 --> 01:28:28.020
So I think, I know he can do it for you too, but starts with forgiving.

1220
01:28:28.140 --> 01:28:29.400
I had to forgive myself.

1221
01:28:31.900 --> 01:28:35.940
Yeah, I have done a lot of forgiving, but it's not been in that.

1222
01:28:36.520 --> 01:28:37.380
So, yeah.

1223
01:28:37.380 --> 01:28:39.800
So you're saying you've done forgiveness stuff and not, you

1224
01:28:39.800 --> 01:28:41.280
haven't forgiven yourself yet.

1225
01:28:41.280 --> 01:28:46.280
Yeah, I've done some parts of myself, like when it came to things with my

1226
01:28:46.280 --> 01:28:50.820
kids and things they have to endure because of that, but not in the, not

1227
01:28:50.820 --> 01:28:53.860
trusting myself and not listening to the Lord for sure.

1228
01:28:54.120 --> 01:28:54.660
All right.

1229
01:28:54.660 --> 01:28:57.920
So then I would encourage you this week to do a forgiveness prayer sheet on that.

1230
01:28:58.200 --> 01:28:58.720
Okay.

1231
01:28:58.880 --> 01:29:01.180
And then let's see if that starts to help.

1232
01:29:01.380 --> 01:29:05.240
And, and remember you're retraining your brain at the same time.

1233
01:29:05.240 --> 01:29:10.460
So when the fear comes up, you have to tell the fear where to go.

1234
01:29:10.460 --> 01:29:12.300
Like, nope.

1235
01:29:12.480 --> 01:29:14.800
I'm going to trust that God is, I'm growing.

1236
01:29:15.500 --> 01:29:19.360
I'm healing that I'm going to listen to the Lord this time.

1237
01:29:19.360 --> 01:29:23.200
I'm going to listen to myself this time, you know, where you're just

1238
01:29:23.200 --> 01:29:24.700
reminding the devil of the truth.

1239
01:29:26.100 --> 01:29:26.640
Yeah.

1240
01:29:26.860 --> 01:29:27.400
Yeah.

1241
01:29:27.400 --> 01:29:28.180
Thank you for sharing that.

1242
01:29:29.400 --> 01:29:30.600
Glenna, go ahead.

1243
01:29:34.820 --> 01:29:35.120
Okay.

1244
01:29:35.120 --> 01:29:36.520
This is the first time I've shared.

1245
01:29:37.240 --> 01:29:44.620
Um, you know, for me, I've dealt with years of feeling rejected and I have

1246
01:29:44.620 --> 01:29:46.520
done some of the revealing for healing.

1247
01:29:47.600 --> 01:29:54.360
And I, you know, I've been listening to you about, you know, going back and

1248
01:29:54.360 --> 01:29:59.920
asking God, when did the first time I felt rejected or abandoned, and it goes back.

1249
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.560
When I was 12 years old, when my parents got divorced, my dad, I was the only child and

1250
01:30:06.560 --> 01:30:10.780
he was supposed to come and pick me up every other weekend on a Saturday.

1251
01:30:11.460 --> 01:30:18.320
And I would sit on the porch for hours and wait for him to show up and he very rarely

1252
01:30:18.320 --> 01:30:18.960
showed up.

1253
01:30:19.000 --> 01:30:24.740
And when he did, my mom would always be angry at him because he wasn't paying his child

1254
01:30:24.740 --> 01:30:27.020
support and throw rocks at the car.

1255
01:30:27.020 --> 01:30:37.000
And then he was always a dad that was not really like, it wasn't until I was 37 years

1256
01:30:37.000 --> 01:30:39.980
old that he ever told me for the first time that he loved me.

1257
01:30:41.000 --> 01:30:52.240
So my first marriage, I was married 29 years and he was the same way, really non-emotional.

1258
01:30:53.040 --> 01:30:58.340
And he would say funny things like, well, I told you I loved you, you know, when I married

1259
01:30:58.340 --> 01:31:04.540
you, if I change my mind, I'll let you know, you know, but I worked through the revealing

1260
01:31:04.860 --> 01:31:09.580
for healing, you know, and what God revealed to me was the lie that Satan says that I'm

1261
01:31:09.580 --> 01:31:10.300
not valuable.

1262
01:31:10.540 --> 01:31:11.740
I'm not chosen.

1263
01:31:11.740 --> 01:31:21.220
And from that, I asked God where, because you've said like, ask God where he was in

1264
01:31:21.220 --> 01:31:21.980
that situation.

1265
01:31:23.640 --> 01:31:30.300
And I shared this in the group that my mom had gone to church till I was 12 and when

1266
01:31:30.300 --> 01:31:32.520
she got divorced, she quit going.

1267
01:31:33.920 --> 01:31:39.600
But at that church was a lady that, she wasn't my grandma, but I called her Grandma Naylor.

1268
01:31:40.280 --> 01:31:42.880
And my mom was schizophrenic.

1269
01:31:44.060 --> 01:31:48.020
So when I was younger, this lady was a nurse.

1270
01:31:48.700 --> 01:31:55.100
So I spent, she kind of, like in the summertime, my dad didn't trust my mom to take care of

1271
01:31:55.100 --> 01:32:00.860
me when I was little because I had a brother that died before I was born and he always

1272
01:32:00.860 --> 01:32:04.380
blamed her for his death, even though it had nothing to do with it.

1273
01:32:04.380 --> 01:32:11.260
He had leukemia and they didn't diagnose him till just a few weeks before he passed away

1274
01:32:11.260 --> 01:32:12.800
and he was only 11 months old.

1275
01:32:14.920 --> 01:32:20.880
And so that's what God revealed to me, that this lady, she was not my grandma, but she

1276
01:32:21.120 --> 01:32:29.700
was so kind to me and she loved me and her husband, Grandpa Naylor, they would take me

1277
01:32:29.700 --> 01:32:30.260
for walks.

1278
01:32:30.420 --> 01:32:32.460
We'd pick apples off their trees.

1279
01:32:33.220 --> 01:32:40.180
She would make like apple pie with me and I just spent a lot of time and I was so crazy.

1280
01:32:41.060 --> 01:32:47.000
In 2004, I moved to an area in Massillon.

1281
01:32:49.660 --> 01:32:53.200
Anyhow, I always thought she lived in this town called Richfield.

1282
01:32:53.620 --> 01:32:59.280
Well, I moved right off a road called Richfield Drive and one day I was driving home and I

1283
01:32:59.280 --> 01:33:01.220
looked over and there was the house.

1284
01:33:01.220 --> 01:33:06.900
And I never noticed it in the summertime because the trees had leaves on it and this was in

1285
01:33:06.900 --> 01:33:10.500
the wintertime and I just stopped and pulled aside the road.

1286
01:33:10.680 --> 01:33:12.920
I said, that's Grandma Naylor's house.

1287
01:33:13.200 --> 01:33:14.100
That's where she lived.

1288
01:33:14.620 --> 01:33:17.280
And because I'm much older now, of course.

1289
01:33:18.600 --> 01:33:26.260
But anyhow, but I still have those bouts of feeling like yesterday I went to my son's

1290
01:33:26.260 --> 01:33:34.480
house and my daughter-in-law had some of her family there and she had made dinner and,

1291
01:33:35.160 --> 01:33:40.640
you know, I didn't hear her say, you're invited to stay with us.

1292
01:33:40.860 --> 01:33:44.780
So I asked my son, I said, oh, I better get going.

1293
01:33:45.020 --> 01:33:46.320
And he goes, OK, Mom.

1294
01:33:46.320 --> 01:33:48.540
And I said, well, should I stay for dinner?

1295
01:33:48.560 --> 01:33:50.440
He goes, I think so.

1296
01:33:50.440 --> 01:33:57.200
But so because he said he thought so, I felt like, OK, I don't want to impose on anybody.

1297
01:33:58.480 --> 01:34:02.680
And so finally I said something to my daughter-in-law and she goes, oh, no, I mentioned

1298
01:34:02.680 --> 01:34:04.220
that you must not have heard me.

1299
01:34:04.520 --> 01:34:06.120
You're welcome to stay.

1300
01:34:06.740 --> 01:34:11.180
So later that night when I got home, she sent me this whole long text of like, hey, we

1301
01:34:11.180 --> 01:34:13.380
never want you to feel like you're not welcome.

1302
01:34:13.600 --> 01:34:14.460
You're family.

1303
01:34:14.600 --> 01:34:17.080
We love you. You're always welcome here.

1304
01:34:17.080 --> 01:34:23.140
And as I was reading the text, I was just crying and crying.

1305
01:34:23.640 --> 01:34:30.320
And it's just like I want to get over the sense of abandonment and rejection.

1306
01:34:30.320 --> 01:34:32.660
And I've struggled with it all my life.

1307
01:34:33.400 --> 01:34:40.720
And you're right, Bethany, when you have that, you portray that.

1308
01:34:41.020 --> 01:34:43.180
You know, I have my own company.

1309
01:34:43.180 --> 01:34:48.600
There's areas I come across really strong, but then there's some arenas that I kind of

1310
01:34:48.600 --> 01:34:51.460
pull back and just sit in a room, don't say anything.

1311
01:34:51.960 --> 01:34:56.260
Mainly when it's I'm in construction, so it's all men most of the time.

1312
01:34:56.800 --> 01:34:59.060
And I've been doing it 25 years.

1313
01:34:59.500 --> 01:34:59.980
And.

1314
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.780
Um, I've had to overcome a lot of that insecurity, but I still have bouts of like, can I really

1315
01:35:06.780 --> 01:35:07.280
do this?

1316
01:35:07.280 --> 01:35:13.200
But I've been doing it for 25 years and it's by God's grace, he's given me the knowledge

1317
01:35:13.200 --> 01:35:18.000
and the experience and to do it, you know, cause I never went to college for it, but

1318
01:35:18.000 --> 01:35:19.200
anyhow, I'll stop talking.

1319
01:35:19.800 --> 01:35:20.700
No, this is great.

1320
01:35:20.740 --> 01:35:22.360
So I had no idea.

1321
01:35:22.440 --> 01:35:23.660
I just got to say this.

1322
01:35:23.660 --> 01:35:29.840
So not many people know where Richville drive is and I grew up in that area.

1323
01:35:30.020 --> 01:35:35.700
So I grew up, uh, right up the road from ritual park and I lived on stump Avenue.

1324
01:35:36.160 --> 01:35:36.580
Oh yeah.

1325
01:35:36.900 --> 01:35:37.240
Yeah.

1326
01:35:37.240 --> 01:35:38.580
I built a house on stump Avenue.

1327
01:35:38.920 --> 01:35:39.900
Oh my gosh.

1328
01:35:40.140 --> 01:35:40.480
Yeah.

1329
01:35:40.680 --> 01:35:44.980
So I probably wasn't, I don't know when you built your house, but that's where I grew

1330
01:35:44.980 --> 01:35:45.340
up.

1331
01:35:45.720 --> 01:35:50.000
Um, and like when you said Maslin, I thought, Oh, she knows kind of that.

1332
01:35:50.000 --> 01:35:51.200
And then you said ritual drive.

1333
01:35:51.280 --> 01:35:53.940
And I was like, nobody ever talks about ritual drive.

1334
01:35:54.680 --> 01:35:55.160
That's funny.

1335
01:35:55.500 --> 01:35:58.400
Just to say that that's not coaching you, but I just thought that would be fun to share

1336
01:35:58.400 --> 01:35:58.620
that.

1337
01:35:59.280 --> 01:36:00.320
That's cute.

1338
01:36:00.460 --> 01:36:01.340
Little area.

1339
01:36:01.640 --> 01:36:02.000
I love it.

1340
01:36:03.480 --> 01:36:05.880
But, um, man, just a couple things.

1341
01:36:07.000 --> 01:36:10.660
Um, I love that God revealed to you about grandma Naylor.

1342
01:36:10.800 --> 01:36:12.460
I think that's amazing.

1343
01:36:12.460 --> 01:36:17.400
And I just think that's a memory to hold on to as you keep walking through this.

1344
01:36:17.400 --> 01:36:22.900
I love that you used your voice and spoke up and just ask your daughter-in-law to clarify.

1345
01:36:23.000 --> 01:36:27.720
Like if you were, you know, if they were comfortable with you staying and then look at the healing

1346
01:36:27.720 --> 01:36:29.680
that came because you used your voice.

1347
01:36:29.680 --> 01:36:30.720
I mean, that's powerful.

1348
01:36:31.100 --> 01:36:36.220
I want you to like really pause because even tonight you're like, this is the first time

1349
01:36:36.220 --> 01:36:38.480
I'm sharing and you've been with us for a little while.

1350
01:36:38.660 --> 01:36:38.820
Right.

1351
01:36:38.920 --> 01:36:39.400
Yes.

1352
01:36:39.400 --> 01:36:40.880
And so this is good.

1353
01:36:40.920 --> 01:36:45.120
I feel like I want you to notice the progress that you're making even in this last week,

1354
01:36:45.120 --> 01:36:48.280
just these couple of things that you're, you know, last couple of weeks, whenever God

1355
01:36:48.280 --> 01:36:53.800
revealed grandma Naylor, um, that are happening so that you can celebrate the wins.

1356
01:36:53.800 --> 01:36:59.180
Remember ladies celebrating your wins is just as important as revealing for healing, pausing

1357
01:36:59.440 --> 01:37:05.800
and like giving yourself, I know people think this is so like silly, but I can't tell you

1358
01:37:05.800 --> 01:37:12.580
how many times women have like healed by pausing and actually hugging themselves.

1359
01:37:13.300 --> 01:37:17.680
Literally, you know, the old school, like, like just pausing and like hugging yourself

1360
01:37:17.680 --> 01:37:20.660
or like, God, you know, Bethany, you're doing a good job.

1361
01:37:21.300 --> 01:37:25.800
Like sometimes we all just need a, like Lisa, you're, you're doing a good job.

1362
01:37:26.760 --> 01:37:27.440
You know?

1363
01:37:27.880 --> 01:37:28.320
Yeah.

1364
01:37:28.340 --> 01:37:30.020
It's awesome to get that from other people.

1365
01:37:30.020 --> 01:37:35.180
But if we don't even think that about ourselves, we're going to crave it, crave it, crave it

1366
01:37:35.180 --> 01:37:36.100
from everybody else.

1367
01:37:36.100 --> 01:37:38.140
But we don't even believe it's like an empty hole.

1368
01:37:38.200 --> 01:37:40.560
It's like this pit that nobody else can fill.

1369
01:37:40.560 --> 01:37:44.400
Only God can fill, but we can also be a part of filling that.

1370
01:37:44.780 --> 01:37:48.340
So I want you to, you know, really see that that is growth in you.

1371
01:37:48.360 --> 01:37:49.480
And I love that.

1372
01:37:49.840 --> 01:37:54.420
I know that you mentioned several different things, but I keep feeling like the, your

1373
01:37:54.420 --> 01:37:57.200
brother passing away as being highlighted to me.

1374
01:37:59.860 --> 01:38:06.840
I think that you were born into trauma that already happened and a lot of loss and brokenness

1375
01:38:06.840 --> 01:38:07.640
because of that.

1376
01:38:07.640 --> 01:38:14.260
And so I want to encourage you to ask, you know, ask the Lord a little bit about that

1377
01:38:14.260 --> 01:38:14.740
this week.

1378
01:38:14.820 --> 01:38:19.500
Is there anything more that you want to reveal to me about my brother passing away?

1379
01:38:19.500 --> 01:38:22.920
Because you got really choked up when you were talking about that.

1380
01:38:23.400 --> 01:38:23.660
Yeah.

1381
01:38:23.660 --> 01:38:31.800
Well, I mean, the same lady, grandma Naylor, when I was born, she basically came over,

1382
01:38:31.800 --> 01:38:40.260
over and like I said, helped my mom when I was a baby up until I was like four, you know?

1383
01:38:41.500 --> 01:38:45.660
And I know my dad blamed my mom for him dying.

1384
01:38:46.380 --> 01:38:46.940
Yeah.

1385
01:38:46.940 --> 01:38:48.620
And did you hear that stuff a lot?

1386
01:38:52.560 --> 01:38:55.580
I mean, how do you know that your dad blamed your mom?

1387
01:38:56.660 --> 01:39:02.420
Well, when I was four, I was swinging on a swing and I jumped off of it and I hit my

1388
01:39:02.980 --> 01:39:09.420
shoulder and I broke my collarbone and he came home and they were fighting in another

1389
01:39:09.440 --> 01:39:16.060
room and I heard something about, you know, about, he was really mad that I got hurt and

1390
01:39:16.060 --> 01:39:20.300
he didn't want anything to happen to me like my brother.

1391
01:39:21.080 --> 01:39:22.360
And you did hear something.

1392
01:39:22.620 --> 01:39:22.960
Yeah.

1393
01:39:22.960 --> 01:39:27.680
So, and he actually broke her arm, you know?

1394
01:39:28.280 --> 01:39:29.960
That's a pretty serious thing.

1395
01:39:30.280 --> 01:39:35.820
You know, Glenna, you're four years old hearing this, your mom's arm gets broken in this process.

1396
01:39:35.860 --> 01:39:37.700
That's a pretty big trauma.

1397
01:39:38.680 --> 01:39:41.300
It's all surrounding your brother's passing too.

1398
01:39:41.900 --> 01:39:47.840
And so that feels like a revealing for healing right there for like hearing you talk about

1399
01:39:47.840 --> 01:39:49.440
it, but there might be more.

1400
01:39:50.440 --> 01:39:58.720
And so I feel like you're going to need to forgive your dad for blaming your mom for

1401
01:39:58.720 --> 01:39:59.800
your brother's death.

1402
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.280
and for breaking your mom's arm and anything else that gets revealed surrounding that situation.

1403
01:40:07.280 --> 01:40:11.900
Yeah, I did write, um, you know, one of the forgiveness letters about forgiving my dad

1404
01:40:11.780 --> 01:40:19.020
for, um, you know, cause after they got divorced, I only see, saw him like five times in 15

1405
01:40:19.020 --> 01:40:19.420
years.

1406
01:40:19.580 --> 01:40:20.180
Yeah.

1407
01:40:20.180 --> 01:40:22.240
So it wasn't because I didn't want to see him.

1408
01:40:22.240 --> 01:40:24.620
I always invited him to stuff.

1409
01:40:24.760 --> 01:40:29.260
Did you specifically forgive him for blaming your mom for your brother's death?

1410
01:40:29.260 --> 01:40:30.020
No, I didn't.

1411
01:40:30.560 --> 01:40:30.560


1412
01:40:30.560 --> 01:40:30.940
I just.

1413
01:40:31.380 --> 01:40:31.680
So, yeah.

1414
01:40:31.820 --> 01:40:34.640
And so I'm clarifying that so that everybody understands.

1415
01:40:35.060 --> 01:40:39.200
So when we do forgiveness prayer sheets, um, even if in this case, like she's already done

1416
01:40:39.200 --> 01:40:41.580
one for her dad, but it's about something else.

1417
01:40:41.840 --> 01:40:45.300
We want to be specific in what we're forgiving people for.

1418
01:40:45.560 --> 01:40:49.440
And so this is a new layer regarding dad that's being revealed.

1419
01:40:49.460 --> 01:40:55.440
That's also connected to her brother passing away, um, and mom's arm getting broken.

1420
01:40:55.600 --> 01:40:57.480
That's another layer within that.

1421
01:40:57.480 --> 01:41:02.180
Um, and so forgiving your dad for those two specific things.

1422
01:41:02.460 --> 01:41:06.180
And then if anything else comes up, I just encourage you just to keep, you know, even

1423
01:41:06.180 --> 01:41:10.960
if it's your mom, you know, that you all would keep doing the forgiveness prayer sheets because

1424
01:41:10.960 --> 01:41:16.820
God is going to reveal additional things to you and it's good to cleanse your heart from

1425
01:41:16.820 --> 01:41:19.800
in your mind and your, you know, your soul and spirit from those things.

1426
01:41:20.080 --> 01:41:23.240
And so I would, I would encourage you to start there, Glenna, and just pray.

1427
01:41:23.240 --> 01:41:28.560
Like I said, around your brother, you know, passing away because here's the, the other

1428
01:41:28.620 --> 01:41:29.140
reality.

1429
01:41:30.640 --> 01:41:32.940
Um, he passed away before you were born, correct?

1430
01:41:33.520 --> 01:41:33.700
Okay.

1431
01:41:33.700 --> 01:41:35.100
I wanted to make sure I heard you correctly.

1432
01:41:36.560 --> 01:41:43.140
So that's a huge weight on you, like, and it's nobody's fault, but like just the sadness

1433
01:41:43.140 --> 01:41:47.480
and the grief and all, it sounds like, you know, dad's blaming mom and there's just all

1434
01:41:47.480 --> 01:41:51.400
this pain and you were born into that pain, you know?

1435
01:41:51.920 --> 01:41:55.880
And, and I think part of the abandonment is connected to that.

1436
01:41:55.880 --> 01:41:56.380
Okay.

1437
01:41:56.380 --> 01:42:05.240
And I, um, my mom had both of us C-section and he was born on August the 10th and I was

1438
01:42:05.240 --> 01:42:10.420
supposed to be born on the same day and my mom had the doctor change the day to the night

1439
01:42:10.640 --> 01:42:14.940
because she didn't want us to have the same birthday.

1440
01:42:15.700 --> 01:42:17.980
Yeah, I can understand that.

1441
01:42:17.980 --> 01:42:18.460
Yeah.

1442
01:42:18.460 --> 01:42:19.600
I can understand that.

1443
01:42:19.880 --> 01:42:20.480
Yeah.

1444
01:42:21.120 --> 01:42:23.360
Well, thank you for sharing your story with us.

1445
01:42:23.500 --> 01:42:28.060
I think God wants to heal quite a bit more here and we'll see what else he reveals.

1446
01:42:28.400 --> 01:42:28.660
All right.

1447
01:42:29.040 --> 01:42:35.340
Thank you for coaching me and I'm, um, I've just learned so much from this program and,

1448
01:42:35.480 --> 01:42:41.540
you know, I've gone to other counseling over the years and Christian counselors, but this

1449
01:42:41.680 --> 01:42:48.100
has, I feel like an onion and God is just taking his time, taking layer after layer

1450
01:42:48.100 --> 01:42:49.500
in helping me.

1451
01:42:49.720 --> 01:42:54.080
And like, you know, like you said, I asked my daughter-in-law that that was, took a lot

1452
01:42:54.080 --> 01:43:02.160
of courage because I didn't want to be rejected, you know, but, um, and you know, God showed

1453
01:43:02.160 --> 01:43:08.780
me that I do have my son and my daughter-in-law that love me and care about me, you know?

1454
01:43:09.260 --> 01:43:13.580
And I want you to practice saying, I, Glenna, am accepted.

1455
01:43:14.280 --> 01:43:14.800
Okay.

1456
01:43:15.740 --> 01:43:16.260
Yeah.

1457
01:43:16.260 --> 01:43:20.700
So ladies, if you battle rejection, let's partner with, I am accepted.

1458
01:43:21.020 --> 01:43:25.920
We're going to come out of agreement alignment with I'm rejected by people I'm accepted.

1459
01:43:27.060 --> 01:43:27.060


1460
01:43:27.260 --> 01:43:29.600
And yes, onions absolutely have layers.

1461
01:43:30.180 --> 01:43:34.340
And I, I used to long time ago before I came into this community, I used to talk about

1462
01:43:34.340 --> 01:43:37.180
onions and layers regarding forgiveness all the time.

1463
01:43:37.260 --> 01:43:40.120
I haven't, I haven't used that analogy in a long time.

1464
01:43:40.740 --> 01:43:42.860
And so that's kind of fun that that came up tonight.

1465
01:43:43.440 --> 01:43:44.640
Thank you so much for sharing.

1466
01:43:45.220 --> 01:43:45.900
You're welcome.

1467
01:43:46.100 --> 01:43:48.040
I'm probably only going to be able to take one more.

1468
01:43:48.240 --> 01:43:49.040
So I'm going to do Eloise.

1469
01:43:49.280 --> 01:43:49.520
Y'all.

1470
01:43:49.720 --> 01:43:50.220
I'm so sorry.

1471
01:43:50.400 --> 01:43:56.760
I know people have had their hand raised, but I'm feeling myself starting to feel a

1472
01:43:56.760 --> 01:43:57.100
little empty.

1473
01:43:57.400 --> 01:44:00.680
And so I want to make sure I I'm giving you all out of the overflow.

1474
01:44:00.880 --> 01:44:01.240
Okay.

1475
01:44:01.520 --> 01:44:06.460
And so please come into the group and share what you were going to say so that I can respond

1476
01:44:06.460 --> 01:44:07.480
to you there, please.

1477
01:44:08.080 --> 01:44:11.320
And then for those of you, just so I don't forget to tell you all this, if you posted

1478
01:44:11.320 --> 01:44:14.940
in the last few days and you haven't got a response yet, you will start getting a response

1479
01:44:14.940 --> 01:44:15.720
in the next day.

1480
01:44:15.920 --> 01:44:19.380
I have a lot of catch up to do in the group after being at the retreat.

1481
01:44:19.740 --> 01:44:25.340
My whole team was there, some were serving, some were, so we apologize.

1482
01:44:25.660 --> 01:44:26.540
We love you.

1483
01:44:26.600 --> 01:44:30.300
And I want you to know that you, we will respond to you as soon as possible in the next day

1484
01:44:30.300 --> 01:44:30.620
or so.

1485
01:44:30.620 --> 01:44:30.960
Okay.

1486
01:44:31.240 --> 01:44:31.640
All right.

1487
01:44:32.060 --> 01:44:33.160
Eloise, go ahead.

1488
01:44:33.980 --> 01:44:34.380
Okay.

1489
01:44:34.700 --> 01:44:37.880
So this is my first time to do this.

1490
01:44:37.880 --> 01:44:38.420
All right.

1491
01:44:38.420 --> 01:44:43.280
And I never connected the dots to jump on and do this.

1492
01:44:43.440 --> 01:44:45.900
So this is big for me anyway.

1493
01:44:46.280 --> 01:44:55.900
And so so the first thing that came to mind was about when my, when I was like junior

1494
01:44:55.900 --> 01:44:59.980
high, I think my mother just died of the blues.

1495
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.900
said, I hope you never get married.

1496
01:45:03.420 --> 01:45:07.200
And so you don't have to go through the hurt and pain I've gone through.

1497
01:45:07.840 --> 01:45:14.040
And I didn't know what she was talking about because she and that age group,

1498
01:45:14.180 --> 01:45:16.380
you know, just kept everything hidden.

1499
01:45:16.940 --> 01:45:18.980
At least they did in my family.

1500
01:45:19.100 --> 01:45:24.680
And so I didn't know exactly what she meant, but the way that I saw her

1501
01:45:24.680 --> 01:45:30.720
respond to my dad, who they loved each other and he was like mad about her in a

1502
01:45:30.720 --> 01:45:35.720
good way, you know, just loved her so much and stuff, but I never saw her

1503
01:45:37.200 --> 01:45:41.860
initiate a hug, holding hands, kissing him or anything.

1504
01:45:42.140 --> 01:45:44.640
She responded, but she never initiated.

1505
01:45:45.000 --> 01:45:48.800
So I thought, you know, I only had one set of parents.

1506
01:45:48.800 --> 01:45:54.480
And so I just thought, well, that's the way that couples do.

1507
01:45:54.680 --> 01:45:57.800
The man initiates and the woman responds kind of stuff.

1508
01:45:58.120 --> 01:46:06.480
And so, um, so anyway, and my brother was the, he was two and a half years younger

1509
01:46:06.480 --> 01:46:12.540
and he was the one that was supposed to be the savior in the family and he was

1510
01:46:12.540 --> 01:46:15.820
going to become a big lawyer and all this good stuff.

1511
01:46:15.820 --> 01:46:20.980
And I was just unseen, unnoticed by not just my parents, but all

1512
01:46:20.980 --> 01:46:22.520
my aunts and uncles and stuff.

1513
01:46:23.020 --> 01:46:28.340
And so I remember, um, my cousin Diane, who's six months older than

1514
01:46:28.340 --> 01:46:30.260
me, and we were really close.

1515
01:46:30.500 --> 01:46:37.360
And, and my aunt and my grandmother, um, they had a dress shop and

1516
01:46:37.360 --> 01:46:38.880
part of it was a bridal shop.

1517
01:46:38.900 --> 01:46:45.000
And so they had a spring, um, fashion show and they invited all these people.

1518
01:46:45.000 --> 01:46:50.160
And so she asked me, my aunt asked me if I would pass out the

1519
01:46:50.160 --> 01:46:52.760
little flyers about the style show.

1520
01:46:52.880 --> 01:46:57.240
And so here I am passing out the little flyers, everybody

1521
01:46:57.240 --> 01:47:01.800
sits down and everything, you know, and all of a sudden it's the grand finale

1522
01:47:01.800 --> 01:47:09.460
and they do a, you know, a bride song, you know, uh, music kind of stuff.

1523
01:47:09.500 --> 01:47:14.480
And the bride comes out the grand finale of the whole style show.

1524
01:47:14.480 --> 01:47:16.240
And it's my cousin Diane.

1525
01:47:16.680 --> 01:47:22.720
So here's my cousin who is the big, you know, spotlight on her.

1526
01:47:22.720 --> 01:47:27.500
And I'm just standing in the background, passing out flyers.

1527
01:47:27.540 --> 01:47:31.840
And that's the kind of the way my family treated me.

1528
01:47:31.880 --> 01:47:38.960
You know, they never, um, I was just kind of forgotten in, in the, you

1529
01:47:38.960 --> 01:47:40.660
know, the sidelines kind of stuff.

1530
01:47:41.300 --> 01:47:48.140
And so, um, so that's carried through my whole life with my aunts and

1531
01:47:48.140 --> 01:47:53.780
uncles and my cousins and my first cousin, uh, Nancy, uh, her dad

1532
01:47:53.780 --> 01:47:55.300
and my dad were twin brothers.

1533
01:47:56.280 --> 01:48:04.340
And so she said to me years ago, uh, she said, I hope at some point

1534
01:48:04.340 --> 01:48:07.900
you can have your own, um, uh, duplex.

1535
01:48:07.900 --> 01:48:14.360
That was her big vision for me, not having a family or relationship or

1536
01:48:14.220 --> 01:48:21.640
anything, just, you know, a little duplex kind of deal.

1537
01:48:21.960 --> 01:48:29.300
And so, um, so, um, God has so much more for me than that.

1538
01:48:29.300 --> 01:48:31.080
And they've never seen that.

1539
01:48:31.080 --> 01:48:38.860
Um, they've never, you know, um, built me up and encouraged me and, you know,

1540
01:48:38.900 --> 01:48:41.780
tried to introduce me to anybody or anything like that.

1541
01:48:42.600 --> 01:48:48.520
And so, um, I, I felt second class kind of, kind of thing.

1542
01:48:48.580 --> 01:48:54.760
And there was always a spirit of poverty and lack in our family, in my part of the

1543
01:48:54.760 --> 01:48:57.540
family anyway, with my parents and stuff.

1544
01:48:57.540 --> 01:49:05.180
And so, um, so, but the thing that, you know, after I thought of that, when I,

1545
01:49:05.380 --> 01:49:11.140
uh, talked to, I forgot her name, the gal that I talked to tonight on the just

1546
01:49:11.140 --> 01:49:19.500
one-on-one is somebody tonight talked about, um, the job God has for them

1547
01:49:19.500 --> 01:49:24.280
and that sort of thing, and I've been out of a full-time job for, uh, over

1548
01:49:24.280 --> 01:49:29.840
three years and, uh, I've been interviewing and doing all the zoom calls,

1549
01:49:30.060 --> 01:49:34.540
you know, how to do your resume and LinkedIn and network and all that stuff.

1550
01:49:34.540 --> 01:49:38.880
And I keep trying the same thing I've been in writing and editing my whole

1551
01:49:39.060 --> 01:49:44.680
career for missiles to make up is my little elevator speech and, um,

1552
01:49:45.600 --> 01:49:47.080
Northrop Grumman to Mary Kay.

1553
01:49:47.180 --> 01:49:51.440
And so I keep looking for the same jobs that I'm like, Lord, I know

1554
01:49:51.440 --> 01:49:55.200
you have something else for me, but I don't know how to get there.

1555
01:49:55.220 --> 01:49:59.940
You know, I get hired and it lasts a month and I get.

1556
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.240
hired again. And, you know, it's a contract to perm kind of

1557
01:50:04.340 --> 01:50:10.780
situation several times. And, you know, so it, it falls apart.

1558
01:50:10.780 --> 01:50:17.860
And I was talking to a guy that he said, you know, I'm, I'm

1559
01:50:17.860 --> 01:50:21.000
tired of doing what I've done. He's in his 50s. I'm tired of

1560
01:50:21.000 --> 01:50:23.960
doing what I've been doing. And I want to do something where I'm

1561
01:50:23.960 --> 01:50:27.480
making a difference. So he went back and got an MBA just

1562
01:50:27.480 --> 01:50:33.900
graduated and stuff. And so, and so I'm like, Lord, I just

1563
01:50:34.920 --> 01:50:40.120
don't get it. I want to be where you want me to be. But I'm, I'm

1564
01:50:40.120 --> 01:50:48.760
stuck somehow. And I don't you know, I'm just, and I'm not

1565
01:50:48.880 --> 01:50:52.520
physically able to do like bridge jobs where you're on

1566
01:50:52.520 --> 01:50:58.280
your feet a lot. Yeah. And, and so I'm just looking for a bridge

1567
01:50:58.280 --> 01:51:01.040
job just to bring some money in because Social Security

1568
01:51:01.400 --> 01:51:07.920
definitely is not enough. And stuff. So anyway. So I loved

1569
01:51:07.920 --> 01:51:13.080
what you said about highlight me to the right employer and job.

1570
01:51:13.600 --> 01:51:19.660
Yeah. And because I've never met a stranger, I meet Pete eat,

1571
01:51:19.660 --> 01:51:26.100
meet people easily. I connect with people. And I just don't

1572
01:51:26.100 --> 01:51:30.600
know where I'm stuck on all that. So well, in part of this,

1573
01:51:30.980 --> 01:51:34.560
remember, ladies, you know, when we're stuck on the inside, it's

1574
01:51:34.560 --> 01:51:39.160
going to cause us to be stuck on the outside. Yeah. So while it

1575
01:51:39.160 --> 01:51:41.740
looks like she's, you know, only stuck on the outside, the

1576
01:51:41.740 --> 01:51:43.640
reality is just like the financial thing I was talking

1577
01:51:43.640 --> 01:51:49.500
about earlier. We are all typically stuck on the inside

1578
01:51:49.500 --> 01:51:52.200
in some way that's affecting the finances. Same thing here.

1579
01:51:53.020 --> 01:51:56.060
And I'm not saying she's doing something wrong, that's causing

1580
01:51:56.060 --> 01:52:00.160
her not to get a job. She's trying clearly. But the reality

1581
01:52:00.160 --> 01:52:03.600
is, is I do think and you know, we talked about this last night,

1582
01:52:04.060 --> 01:52:06.720
even in just the last few weeks, you're making more progress

1583
01:52:06.720 --> 01:52:10.820
forward, which is amazing and exciting. And so I think the

1584
01:52:10.820 --> 01:52:14.780
more that you're talking live tonight, these are these are

1585
01:52:14.780 --> 01:52:17.860
really great steps. And it's going to cause you to get

1586
01:52:17.860 --> 01:52:21.480
unstuck on the inside, which is going to impact things on the

1587
01:52:21.740 --> 01:52:25.080
outside. And I'm not saying it's always going to just be this

1588
01:52:25.080 --> 01:52:28.640
immediate, like get a job. But I actually think that I want to

1589
01:52:28.640 --> 01:52:32.060
encourage you to partner with that you have grace and ease in

1590
01:52:32.060 --> 01:52:38.400
this new season. To get a great grace and ease. Oh, grace and

1591
01:52:38.400 --> 01:52:44.140
ease in this new season to get a job. Yeah, just over. You know,

1592
01:52:44.660 --> 01:52:48.620
what Jackie's releasing the kink in the in the hose is unleashed

1593
01:52:48.660 --> 01:52:51.400
and that things are going to start to flow that have felt

1594
01:52:51.400 --> 01:52:54.580
like obstacles. I even feel like you're remembering more Eloise.

1595
01:52:54.920 --> 01:52:57.760
Yeah, like there's been a clarity, you know, I know

1596
01:52:57.760 --> 01:53:00.780
you've been overcoming the, you know, the after effects of all

1597
01:53:00.780 --> 01:53:05.160
the COVID and things and I know that's been hard for you. But I

1598
01:53:05.160 --> 01:53:08.360
believe that there's, I'm just gonna tell you what I'm seeing

1599
01:53:08.140 --> 01:53:11.980
like, like, you know, Sleeping Beauty is about to get her kiss

1600
01:53:11.980 --> 01:53:15.700
from heaven and she's about to wake up. And you've always been

1601
01:53:15.700 --> 01:53:19.500
awake. But I know that you felt kind of like under this haze.

1602
01:53:20.100 --> 01:53:23.800
And I've noticed a difference in you and the last month you're

1603
01:53:23.800 --> 01:53:28.120
you are remembering more you are like, look at even though it

1604
01:53:28.120 --> 01:53:30.700
took you a little bit to get online tonight, you still pressed

1605
01:53:30.700 --> 01:53:34.540
through you got online now you're talking, which you've not

1606
01:53:34.540 --> 01:53:38.060
done. You've not done yet, which is totally okay. I want all of

1607
01:53:38.060 --> 01:53:41.660
you to know it is okay if you don't. But here's the thing. I

1608
01:53:41.660 --> 01:53:45.720
absolutely am a firm believer. Do you want to know the people I

1609
01:53:45.720 --> 01:53:48.500
typically remember when like last night, we had all these

1610
01:53:48.500 --> 01:53:50.940
people come to this party, you want to know the people I

1611
01:53:50.940 --> 01:53:55.000
typically remember, the people that talk during a live session

1612
01:53:55.000 --> 01:53:58.340
or posted in the group and shared about their life in the

1613
01:53:58.340 --> 01:54:01.680
journey. And it's not that I don't mean to not know the other

1614
01:54:01.680 --> 01:54:05.060
people. But it's just, you know, it's like, you know, I Eloise,

1615
01:54:05.840 --> 01:54:09.340
even though she hasn't gotten spoken on here, she's prayed a

1616
01:54:09.520 --> 01:54:13.120
lot on the prayer calls. You know, and she's been in here

1617
01:54:13.120 --> 01:54:16.080
and she's engaged and I've seen her face, she turns her camera

1618
01:54:16.020 --> 01:54:19.280
on. You know, these are things that help us as a team remember

1619
01:54:19.280 --> 01:54:22.400
and know you all. So anyways, I just want you to celebrate the

1620
01:54:22.400 --> 01:54:23.760
successes that you're having.

1621
01:54:25.160 --> 01:54:30.500
And can I say one more thing? Yeah. Weeks ago, you gave a

1622
01:54:30.500 --> 01:54:34.160
prophetic word about somebody is going to travel, there's

1623
01:54:34.160 --> 01:54:38.520
something about travel. It was a positive, quick little thing. I

1624
01:54:38.520 --> 01:54:42.460
don't even know if you remember saying it, but that was for me,

1625
01:54:42.460 --> 01:54:50.040
because I started an adventure with a travel kind of a thing.

1626
01:54:50.120 --> 01:54:57.300
It's not being a travel agent. But it's an amazing deal. And I

1627
01:54:57.300 --> 01:54:59.800
really felt the Lord telling me to do that. And when you

1628
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:03.060
And whatever it was, I just got caught the word travel.

1629
01:55:03.260 --> 01:55:07.380
I don't remember what else, but it was a positive thing.

1630
01:55:07.380 --> 01:55:10.480
And I was like, that just doesn't come out.

1631
01:55:10.700 --> 01:55:12.500
And I mean, it does come out a little bit.

1632
01:55:12.540 --> 01:55:14.540
I mean, the Lord prompted you to say that.

1633
01:55:14.720 --> 01:55:16.040
And I knew it was for me.

1634
01:55:17.760 --> 01:55:18.620
Well, so interesting.

1635
01:55:18.920 --> 01:55:22.420
You wouldn't know this Eloise, but when I was going through the boot camp,

1636
01:55:22.680 --> 01:55:23.680
that's what we used to call it.

1637
01:55:25.380 --> 01:55:29.980
Um, God started talking to me about traveling and I, I,

1638
01:55:30.000 --> 01:55:34.300
um, hadn't traveled more because the other people I was with just weren't into

1639
01:55:34.300 --> 01:55:37.080
that really. And, uh,

1640
01:55:37.400 --> 01:55:41.460
and then he used a woman that I hadn't chatted with for a while to confirm it.

1641
01:55:41.460 --> 01:55:43.240
She sent me something and she said, I don't,

1642
01:55:43.460 --> 01:55:45.340
I don't know if this means anything to you, but God,

1643
01:55:45.480 --> 01:55:49.520
I just keep seeing an airplane for you. And that can represent,

1644
01:55:49.520 --> 01:55:54.060
it can represent ministry too. But I knew what God was saying through that.

1645
01:55:54.080 --> 01:55:57.560
And so I do believe that you're hearing God accurately for your life.

1646
01:55:57.560 --> 01:56:02.820
I think that you taking the steps to travel as God leads you to is it's going to

1647
01:56:02.820 --> 01:56:06.620
usher in some other things. I think that, um, you know,

1648
01:56:06.620 --> 01:56:09.420
sometimes we got to shake the dust off ladies, you know,

1649
01:56:09.420 --> 01:56:13.560
we kind of get into space in a place when life is hard and it's like, again,

1650
01:56:13.560 --> 01:56:14.200
I think you're,

1651
01:56:14.440 --> 01:56:18.440
I think you're entering a season of grace and ease and that things are going to

1652
01:56:18.440 --> 01:56:21.280
shift and that the things that have like held you back,

1653
01:56:21.660 --> 01:56:24.020
I just think that stuff is about to change.

1654
01:56:24.020 --> 01:56:27.040
Now that's not necessarily the inner healing stuff that you were talking about

1655
01:56:27.040 --> 01:56:29.200
earlier, but I hope that, you know,

1656
01:56:29.280 --> 01:56:32.260
that when your mom said to you when you were in junior high,

1657
01:56:32.520 --> 01:56:37.080
I hope you never get married that probably that being spoken over

1658
01:56:38.300 --> 01:56:42.060
you. Um, I would just encourage you to come out of alignment with that. Okay.

1659
01:56:42.060 --> 01:56:46.400
So even if you didn't mean to take that in and partner with that,

1660
01:56:46.820 --> 01:56:50.120
uh, as a, as a junior high age person,

1661
01:56:50.580 --> 01:56:55.340
it's going to be really hard for people to not subconsciously take that in and

1662
01:56:55.340 --> 01:57:00.120
vow to not ever have a marriage like my mom's, you know,

1663
01:57:00.160 --> 01:57:03.000
or whatever it is that we think, you know,

1664
01:57:03.460 --> 01:57:08.500
and so just make sure you pray into that. Sorry, all that was just shaking. Um,

1665
01:57:08.500 --> 01:57:12.240
and let's just see where else you might have subconsciously partnered with

1666
01:57:12.240 --> 01:57:15.060
things. Cause if your mom was saying things like that,

1667
01:57:16.020 --> 01:57:19.760
maybe she said some other things that maybe you just don't even remember yet,

1668
01:57:19.820 --> 01:57:23.260
you know, that also fed into, um,

1669
01:57:23.260 --> 01:57:26.800
maybe you even sidelining yourself. And I know that you were saying, um,

1670
01:57:26.800 --> 01:57:30.540
I was in the background, I was forgotten. I felt second class,

1671
01:57:31.460 --> 01:57:33.300
but, but here's the reality.

1672
01:57:35.760 --> 01:57:38.900
We choose to be in that place.

1673
01:57:41.440 --> 01:57:42.540
People. Yes.

1674
01:57:42.540 --> 01:57:46.920
They can say things and do things that cause us to feel in that place,

1675
01:57:47.660 --> 01:57:50.520
but we don't have to be there.

1676
01:57:50.520 --> 01:57:54.780
Just someone else puts us in that place in the background. Um,

1677
01:57:54.780 --> 01:57:57.300
and so tonight, if you didn't know, going,

1678
01:57:57.780 --> 01:58:00.040
going live and talking you're coming to the forefront.

1679
01:58:00.420 --> 01:58:04.180
This is an example of saying, Hey, no, I have something to say.

1680
01:58:04.600 --> 01:58:07.960
I have something to say. I'm not in the background. Right.

1681
01:58:08.180 --> 01:58:12.700
So you're partnering with the opposite of that, which is awesome. Yeah.

1682
01:58:12.700 --> 01:58:15.980
So just keep partnering with that. Like, you know, God wants you,

1683
01:58:16.140 --> 01:58:20.180
God sees you and he's saying, Hey, keep, keep partnering with, you know,

1684
01:58:20.520 --> 01:58:23.940
I'm not forgotten. I'm not in the background. I'm coming.

1685
01:58:24.220 --> 01:58:27.760
I'm coming to the front of the line. I said that to somebody here, you know,

1686
01:58:27.760 --> 01:58:29.320
where, where God is bringing you there,

1687
01:58:29.420 --> 01:58:31.240
but you're partnering with him in that process.

1688
01:58:31.860 --> 01:58:33.300
Well, two years ago,

1689
01:58:33.300 --> 01:58:38.000
I went through a spiritual encounter kind of weekend kind of deal.

1690
01:58:38.700 --> 01:58:42.880
And, um, and so one of the things, the guy that led it, uh,

1691
01:58:42.940 --> 01:58:47.780
said, so, you know, what are your dreams for your future or whatever?

1692
01:58:48.380 --> 01:58:53.560
And he asked practically everybody in the class, how old they were. And he,

1693
01:58:53.560 --> 01:58:57.500
and he said, how old are you? And I said, do I have to tell you?

1694
01:58:58.160 --> 01:59:01.960
And he said, yes. And I said, okay,

1695
01:59:02.640 --> 01:59:03.680
I'm 74.

1696
01:59:04.260 --> 01:59:08.660
And it's like everybody in the room just hit the back of the wall.

1697
01:59:08.920 --> 01:59:12.340
Like it just Florida that I was that age and stuff.

1698
01:59:12.780 --> 01:59:15.560
And so a lot of the people in this little group,

1699
01:59:15.560 --> 01:59:19.560
everybody was in a little group and there were four of us and the other three

1700
01:59:19.560 --> 01:59:21.020
said they wanted to be married.

1701
01:59:21.800 --> 01:59:25.840
And so we were about to be through with our little part of the deal.

1702
01:59:25.980 --> 01:59:29.120
And I said, I want to be married too.

1703
01:59:29.580 --> 01:59:33.520
I don't care how old I am. I still want to be married. I,

1704
01:59:33.740 --> 01:59:37.040
I just believe the Lord has somebody for me.

1705
01:59:37.320 --> 01:59:41.220
And so I just spoke that out, you know,

1706
01:59:41.220 --> 01:59:42.400
kind of deal.

1707
01:59:42.560 --> 01:59:47.420
And it's like I'm not giving up my dream for my own family,

1708
01:59:48.200 --> 01:59:49.900
my own mate,

1709
01:59:50.140 --> 01:59:54.700
my own special life that I've always

1710
01:59:54.700 --> 01:59:55.380
dreamed of.

1711
01:59:55.740 --> 01:59:59.980
And you shouldn't know. And I saw that Glenn is saying she's 60.

1712
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:05.060
nine, you know, ladies, um, you know, the rest of your years could be the best of your

1713
02:00:05.060 --> 02:00:11.200
years. Truly. You know, like just let's embrace what God is doing. Let's embrace what God is,

1714
02:00:11.200 --> 02:00:15.760
is leading us into the new that he has for us. We're not going to partner with fear. We're going

1715
02:00:15.760 --> 02:00:22.240
to partner with faith. And remember that if we have moments of unbelief, Lord, I believe help

1716
02:00:22.240 --> 02:00:26.860
my unbelief is the prayer that you can pray. And I saw some people say, and let's travel together.

1717
02:00:26.860 --> 02:00:32.960
Yeah. Hey ladies, there's some sisters traveling all over the place with each other. They're

1718
02:00:32.960 --> 02:00:37.560
meeting each other. Um, we're doing things in the community that are giving you all opportunities to

1719
02:00:37.560 --> 02:00:41.080
do that too. There's a cruise in January. I think, I don't know if we're past the deadline

1720
02:00:41.080 --> 02:00:46.520
on that, but there'll be more opportunities. So, um, Eloise, I think this is great. I want

1721
02:00:46.520 --> 02:00:50.280
you to pray into a couple of those things, but let's partner with grace and ease in this new

1722
02:00:50.280 --> 02:00:56.460
season. Okay. Okay. Got it. Um, yeah, just keep, keep doing the next best step that God is showing

1723
02:00:56.460 --> 02:01:01.780
you to do in the heartwork and, and you're, you're on your way. It's so exciting ladies. Um, I hope

1724
02:01:01.780 --> 02:01:08.280
that you, you know, take a lot of this in tonight and the things that have been planted that you

1725
02:01:08.300 --> 02:01:15.320
will continue to trust that God is writing your love story. He's writing, you know, the, the steps

1726
02:01:15.320 --> 02:01:19.980
for you to walk into the fullness of who he originally created you to be. And I wanted to

1727
02:01:19.980 --> 02:01:24.480
say, Gail, did I see, did I see some little messages in the one o'clock saying you're moving

1728
02:01:24.480 --> 02:01:35.960
to phase two? Did I see that? Yeah, that's a tomorrow thing. All right. I just wanted to

1729
02:01:35.960 --> 02:01:41.180
cheer you on. I almost forgot cause I was thinking of it all night and it's okay that you're still,

1730
02:01:41.320 --> 02:01:47.040
that you came tonight, but I just wanted to say that I'm cheering you on and, uh, you know,

1731
02:01:47.040 --> 02:01:51.740
praying for you, anyone else as well. I just happened to see that in the chat from the,

1732
02:01:51.740 --> 02:01:57.840
one o'clock session. Um, I was looking at that while y'all were on, I was in the car traveling

1733
02:01:57.840 --> 02:02:03.020
back still at that time, but I'm praying for you, excited for you to take that step way to go.

1734
02:02:04.080 --> 02:02:08.940
Yeah. And I think Damaris and Lovett both said that they needed to move on too.

1735
02:02:09.940 --> 02:02:12.700
All right. I'm looking for company here.

1736
02:02:13.640 --> 02:02:18.860
And Hey, you know, there's, there's more continued hard work as you guys move forward. Okay. So

1737
02:02:18.860 --> 02:02:23.540
you're going to have that in other areas of the program. Uh, so don't feel like you're not going

1738
02:02:23.540 --> 02:02:28.840
to have an opportunity to have additional layers of healing. The other coaches, you know, we train

1739
02:02:29.120 --> 02:02:33.440
them, uh, if they don't know the answer, y'all just so you, just so you know, if they don't know

1740
02:02:33.440 --> 02:02:38.180
the answer, they come into a chat with me and they ask me what I think. And if I feel like God

1741
02:02:38.180 --> 02:02:42.600
tells me something, I give it to them and then they'll come in and respond to y'all. But we have

1742
02:02:42.600 --> 02:02:47.420
an amazing team all throughout the program. You guys are going to just really love these ladies.

1743
02:02:47.420 --> 02:02:53.040
And so, um, just wanted to bless you, Gail, and I didn't know about Lovett and Damaris. So that's

1744
02:02:53.080 --> 02:02:57.780
awesome. Cheering you ladies on as well. Let me pray for us, father. Thank you so much for this

1745
02:02:57.780 --> 02:03:04.140
night. Thank you for the blessings, God of just the reminder of the overflow, the abundance that

1746
02:03:04.140 --> 02:03:09.320
you have for us, that you're a good father who has all good things to give us. We thank you for

1747
02:03:09.320 --> 02:03:15.160
helping the level of hope and expectancy to rise up within us that you would heal us from the pain

1748
02:03:15.160 --> 02:03:19.740
of the past, set us free in areas where we don't even know we need it. And we know, Lord, that your

1749
02:03:19.940 --> 02:03:25.440
spirit, Lord, is what sets us free. And so we thank you, Holy Spirit, for working and moving, that you're

1750
02:03:25.440 --> 02:03:30.000
our comforter, you're our counselor, you're our guide, you're our ever-present help in times of

1751
02:03:30.000 --> 02:03:33.900
trouble as well as times of victory. So help us to recognize, Holy Spirit, when you're working in our

1752
02:03:34.040 --> 02:03:39.120
lives. And we just thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice, for your blood that was shed, for the

1753
02:03:39.120 --> 02:03:43.280
forgiveness of our sins, for our freedom. And help us to remember tonight and in the days ahead that

1754
02:03:43.280 --> 02:03:50.240
we fight from freedom, not for it, in Jesus' name. Amen. God bless you all. Have a great night, everyone.

1755
02:03:50.320 --> 02:03:52.120
I'll see you in the group. Bye-bye.