WEBVTT

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All right, welcome to Monday Heart Check-In.

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This is October 27th, 2025.

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So we're here just having a discussion tonight.

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Yeah, we're just going to have a roundtable, guys, tonight and kind of see what's going

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on.

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If you can come on camera, that's great.

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If you can't, I understand.

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No big deal.

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But Robert, since this is your first time, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself.

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I know you're kind of doing the, hi, how are you, a second ago, but just introduce

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yourself so we know who you are and where you're from, what you do.

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How'd you find the Last Year Single program?

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All right, so, yeah, I go by Bob, so I know it says Robert there, but Bob's okay.

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So I'm in New Jersey.

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I'm a little bit outside of Morristown, New Jersey, if you know where that is, about 40

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miles west of New York City, Manhattan.

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I came about last year single.

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So I was attending a session, I think it was back in March or April.

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You guys were up at the King of Kings Worship Center in New Jersey, Bridge.

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And so I was there.

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I know a woman named Angie Lee, who I think was actually down with you guys in Austin

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a lot of the days.

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Yeah, she was just here.

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Yeah, that's right.

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Yeah.

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So she kind of introduced me to it.

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And so I am a bit later in my life and been through a divorce and more recently in the

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last two years or so, a breakup from a relationship where I thought was going to go to marriage

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and ended up ending.

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So I'm trying to really, you know, get it back out there and, you know, try to get it

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right.

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You know, it's been a day that I don't know, you know, I know the introduction here said

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like for my first session, I was supposed to answer a question like, do you believe

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God is emotionally involved in your life?

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So some of what I was going to say is part of that introduction kind of flows into that

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question.

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So I don't know how you want to handle that, but I can keep going if you like or.

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No, absolutely.

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No, that's good.

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That's a good jumping off point because that's a great question.

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We talk a lot about what do you want?

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That's a big, huge theme that we talk about.

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But at the same time, knowing what's possible or believing what's possible, the realm of

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belief is, is everything.

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Because if you don't believe something is possible or is, um, uh, can happen or will

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happen or is happening, then it's really difficult to have that experience.

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So what's, what's the answer for your question?

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So I was raised Catholic, um, and, um, my father was, well, my mother was Catholic,

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Irish Catholic.

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My father was Baptist, but he had to agree to have us raised Catholic.

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So I was really, um, into my, my, up until I was in through college, I really was attending

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Catholic church.

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And, um, you know, it was, I always had a spiritual underpinning, but you know, it wasn't

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solid.

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And in that respect, uh, my father, who was a Baptist, read the book Bible a lot.

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And, um, so he died when I was 30 and at that point I read the Bible for the first time

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somewhere.

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I just wanted to understand why he read it.

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Right.

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So I went through it twice.

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Um, I, I didn't quite, I didn't at the time, I didn't get the concept of grace.

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So I kind of put it, I put it aside and I just basically said like, uh, I'm going to

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do my best God, but I just can't, I don't think I could be this perfect.

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I'm not going to be able to, you know, I'll probably never have an impure thought again

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in my life.

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I'm like, I just never got this good.

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So I kind of put it aside.

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Um, but it was always important to me.

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I always kept the Bible.

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I didn't go to church though.

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Uh, it wasn't really until I was in my fifties, mid fifties when I had a crisis point in my

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life with, um, my divorce.

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Um, it wasn't something I really expected or wanted, even though I knew the marriage

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was failing.

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Um, but still, you know, it was 20 years invested in this and it was three kids and, you know,

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families and everything else.

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I was like, this was not what I really wanted.

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And it hit me hard that this was going to happen at the same time where he was, um,

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also got laid off.

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This was back in 28, 2008, 2009, when the crisis was hitting the home out where it was

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hit.

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Um, both then between divorce and unemployment at that point, I was in a kind of a crisis

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situation when I really went back, decided I need to do, well, I should say preface that

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knowing my marriage was failing.

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I was also getting into reading the Bible to figure out what am I doing wrong?

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This marriage?

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Um, what can I do right to kind of resurrect this marriage?

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I remember sitting there one guy thinking, God, you resurrected dead.

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Maybe you can help resurrect this marriage because I can't figure out how to do this.

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Um, so I got very much back into the faith.

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Catholic church, I went to more of a kind of a design with more probably Pentecostal church,

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totally different for a guy who was raised Catholic. But it was really, it was a really

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good experience for me to be there. I think God put me there before I needed I knew I need to be

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there. So as I was going through all this, I was really starting to experience some very tangible

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experiences with God in my life. And things that people would say, like, that's weird,

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or that doesn't happen. And I said, I know it doesn't, but I've experienced it. And I know,

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real, and I can only attribute it to God. So that time, you know, it was always

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very, I guess it's tangible, it felt hit hard. But you know, my background's a little bit of,

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you know, you talk about childhood injuries, and, you know, I was a little bit neglected,

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abandoned, rejected type of thing. And these things, like, were underpinning my life throughout

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this. So God got me through all this. And that I met a woman a few years back, who I thought we

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had a very God centered Christian focused relationship, probably the healthiest one I've had

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in my life. And what it didn't, you know, it didn't, it didn't go to distance. So we ended up

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she ended up ending the relationship. It was difficult, again, and I started feeling myself

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falling. That's about two and a half years ago, I found myself falling back,

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becoming more discouraged feeling again, even though I had these tangible experiences with God.

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And, you know, I, I mean, I could speak to some of that stuff. But really,

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what ended up happening was I started feeling discouraged, feeling like, okay, God, you were

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there for me then, where are you now? I mean, this has been both my divorce, because my, you know,

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my becoming more Christian, in view of my wife at the time, was a problem. And it actually fed

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into a reason to want to get a divorce. So, you know, since then, it was God, I want to just I

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want to Christian woman, I want to, I'm a good father, I didn't obviously succeed in my marriage,

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I would like the opportunity to have a healthy Christian centered relationship. And I thought

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that was what God, you know, my prayer for a number of years. And I thought, when it came

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into my life, that was it. So now so when it comes back, circling back to the question,

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which is you believe God is emotionally invested in your life. There's lapses. Yeah, there's times

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I do. And then there's times like I question like, where are you? Like, why are you letting this happen?

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You know, and I prayed for this woman to come into my life. I thought you brought her into my life.

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And now she's gone. And I'm back. Again, it's a stage in my life, trying to figure out how do I

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go about still time to my life, that would be something God and honoring to her.

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Wow. So this relationship, most recent one, it's, do you still know the person? So it's

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completely off, is what you're saying at this point. Yeah, I've tried. I've gone back. She was

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a Christian, still continues to be a Christian, but you know, she has her own issues in life that

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affected her. No, and the damage that, you know, from men to her, I mean, I remember she told me

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once I was the healthiest relationship she ever had in her life. And, but I think, you know, when

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certain things happen in a relationship, when we started talking marriage,

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serious about what we had to do to come together, you know, housing, where are we going to live?

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Oh, now she was also, she'd been in the States for over 25 years, but she was raised in Korea.

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And so there were some cultural things that were starting to impact us as well. And at the

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decided she thought, in the end, be a burden on you and your man, you know, you're retiring.

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I'm not going to retire for another 10 years. And I think I'm going to be a burden on your life.

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I think it's better if you we ended this and you went down somebody who's better aligned with you.

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My problem with all of it was, you know, there wasn't a lot of negotiation, discussion and

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compromise going through, like, how do we make it work? You know, and it would be cold, like,

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no, don't come, don't contact me. So, you know, I've tried a couple of times, but it's been no,

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without success. Yeah. So you, I mean, you ran into some logistical type, just for lack of a

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word, type of deal breakers that just couldn't make the relationship go and some other factors.

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Okay. Yeah. That makes sense.

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And it's, you know, it's common and yeah, I'm sorry that, I'm sorry that you had

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such high hopes in that and that it didn't go anywhere, um, for whatever reason.

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Um, and that's the thing about, that's the thing about providence,

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God, where are you sort of thing.

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Is God emotionally involved?

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Um, I had a thought today and it was, it's kind of tangent to, to that idea.

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And, um, you know, we just found out actually tonight that some close

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friends of ours, young friends, um, are they're pregnant and

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this is their first baby.

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And so it's exciting news and we were rejoicing with them and happy with them.

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But, you know, that the news of a baby coming, expecting parents, you know,

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it's exciting because you're wondering what is, what, what gender is going to

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be the baby, uh, what, where are the baby's features going to be?

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What color eyes, um, does he have?

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What, what color hair is she going to have?

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What, what is she going to do in life?

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What is he going to, what is he going to be in life?

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You know, like you start wondering these things, you start sort of

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like going down the show, you don't, maybe not all at one time, but you

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wonder over time and you have this expectation that's built up and this

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excitement to build up, to anticipate what it's going to be like.

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And, um, one of the things that's interesting is this couple that, um,

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that is, is expecting the way they announced the baby is existence is

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they've made up graduation cards for, for the baby's high school graduation

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in the year, what the baby would be graduate, you know, expected to be

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graduating high school in 2044 and send out graduation invitations as a

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way to announce the baby's birth.

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And I thought it was really creative.

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I thought it was really interesting, but it goes hand in hand with what my

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thought was this morning, which was like, you know, there's a certain amount

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of expectation, anticipation for a new, a new child.

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And the same way God has that same expectation of us as His children to

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think that God doesn't operate that way.

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When we as human beings operate with that way with, with imperfect

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expectation, you know, with, with, uh, imperfect excitement within, you

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know, like we're, we're living in the fallen state and this imperfect world.

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But yet at the same time, there's a, there's an incredible amount of joy and

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wonder and in, in, in inquisitiveness and all that that goes with expecting a child.

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And then furthermore, you don't stop expecting once the child's born.

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There's lots of new ventures, lots of new, along the whole journey.

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So I was just wondering about this, this concept with God.

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It's like, even though we know God knows the end from the beginning, we

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know, He knows kind of like what we're going to do, because He lives

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outside of the spectrum of time.

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It, it, there's a fallacy that we as human beings, especially in religious

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architecture, that makes us feel like God's so in control or God could just

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do anything or like, well, if God's on my side, then, you know, like, where

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is He and where is He in this moment?

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You know, and why is that?

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Why didn't He give me everything that I needed in order to be successful

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now and all the time and every time, you know, and it goes along

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with that whole parenting thing.

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If you have children, then you know exactly what that's all about.

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Like you understand, it's like, I'm there for my kids, but I'm not

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there every second of every day.

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I am when they're babies, but when they're adults, you

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know, they're living their life.

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And I have the quality time.

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I check in with them.

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I'm in relationship with my kids.

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I know what's going on in their life.

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I'm involved with my kids' lives.

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Sometimes we're a little too involved, but that's okay.

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And two of my kids are married and my third child is engaged to be married.

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So they're starting their own family.

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And so there's a lot of the, a lot of the part of the journey that

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we've seen and we've helped our kids.

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But at the same time, there is a healthy sense of, you know, when your kids

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reach their twenties and they're getting into their adulthood and they're

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getting into their years of independence.

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They don't know longer live at home.

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And maybe they went through a college time where they're learning how to

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live on their own and so forth, depending on whatever the situation was.

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But at certain time, especially after they've left home and now they're making

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and forging their way in the world, it's important that.

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that we allow them to do that.

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And so the same thing happens with God with us.

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And so I guess, I don't know, I'm not trying to explain God.

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I'm just trying to draw, you know, like similarities between the way we live

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and how we view our children is the same way that God views us.

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He views us not with a, oh, I know what's going to happen.

220
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Like no big deal.

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No, he views us as children as, as what are they going to do?

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What, how are they going to navigate through this?

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I want to see them, you know, what he's in, he's anticipating what our effort or

224
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what our response is going to be, or what our posture is going to be.

225
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And yeah, it's sometimes because life is the way it is.

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It feels like there are long drawn out seasons of darkness and

227
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like, oh, like what's going on.

228
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But the truth is, is that he's, he's always there and he's always been there.

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And sometimes it's really the mature part of the journey is to, instead of just

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like, God, I thought you were supposed to answer all my problems.

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It's like, well, what would, what would that be like if you did that to your

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parents, like mom, dad, I thought you were supposed to answer all my problems.

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Like that would not make very much sense.

234
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I mean, it wouldn't, you know what I'm saying?

235
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It's kind of like it, it would be, it'd be like, what are you doing?

236
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Like, and then your parents would be like, you're a grown person.

237
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Like, what do you mean I'm supposed to solve all your problems?

238
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You know what I'm saying?

239
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So there's a certain release of that, but at the same time, good parents.

240
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It's like, I have a coffee cup that says you're never too old to need your dad

241
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to, to not need, or never too old to, yeah, you're never too old to need your dad.

242
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And it's just kind of a reminder.

243
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It's kind of like, if you have a good dad and if you don't have a good family,

244
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this is harder to connect, but good dads, if you can imagine, and good parents

245
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are there all of your life, you know?

246
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Unfortunately, sometimes those parents do pass on.

247
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If we get older, my, my dad is 85.

248
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He's probably going to not be around much longer.

249
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I mean, I hope he is, but 85 is pretty aging.

250
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And so I have, there's a shortened season there with that.

251
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So it's like, at some point my mom is 80, 81.

252
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Um, my bonus dad is 78.

253
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So they're not long for this world in a sense, in a very natural sense.

254
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So it's like, I have to deal with the fact that I'm not going to

255
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have them around maybe much longer.

256
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So I guess I'm just trying to draw that.

257
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I just, that was an interesting thought to me this morning because I was feeling

258
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like, wow, God doesn't leave us.

259
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He doesn't abandon us.

260
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He doesn't like, he's isn't just like not there.

261
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He's not an absentee father, but at the same time, he does want to

262
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anticipate like, what's going to happen?

263
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What are you going to do?

264
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Like, where are you, how, how are you going to navigate this?

265
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How are we going to like, and then when we call out to him, he's there for us.

266
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And he's like, okay, this happened.

267
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I got divorced.

268
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I too have the same testimony and I prayed the same prayer.

269
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I was like, Lord, I said, you know, I don't, I don't want to be single

270
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the rest of my life, but I have these kids and I have this career.

271
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I can't just like pick up and marry anybody.

272
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I mean, I really need to, um, have the right person in my life.

273
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And through his providence and a little bit of serendipity, you know, I not

274
00:18:57.040 --> 00:19:03.100
long after that, I met Jackie and we were neighbors and there's a story about all

275
00:19:03.100 --> 00:19:07.140
that, but yeah, there's definitely a story.

276
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And, but at the same time, you know, God's faithful.

277
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He really is.

278
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And so this is where the belief comes in.

279
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Um, when you believe that God is okay, scripture says earthly parents being

280
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good parents, how much more would your heavenly father provide?

281
00:19:31.380 --> 00:19:38.760
And so we have to believe, I, I, I'm convinced that it's good to believe

282
00:19:39.020 --> 00:19:46.020
that God is the best parent and the parent in such a way that you understand

283
00:19:46.700 --> 00:19:50.600
if you were a parent, how you would deal with your children

284
00:19:50.820 --> 00:19:52.760
as they're going through crises.

285
00:19:54.080 --> 00:19:57.300
Sometimes you're very involved in the crisis at the critical moments.

286
00:19:57.780 --> 00:19:59.940
And sometimes there are seasons where you're not as.

287
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.140
evolve and you understand your kids are going through a hard season, but it's

288
00:20:04.140 --> 00:20:08.000
something that they need to walk through is something that they're going to walk

289
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:08.280
through.

290
00:20:08.440 --> 00:20:12.840
And sometimes there isn't literally anything you can do, right?

291
00:20:12.840 --> 00:20:17.700
It's like, I would give you the money, but I don't have the money, or I do have

292
00:20:17.700 --> 00:20:21.820
the money and I would give you the money, but I don't think it's going to solve

293
00:20:21.820 --> 00:20:22.480
your problem.

294
00:20:23.100 --> 00:20:23.620
You know?

295
00:20:23.660 --> 00:20:26.640
And I can't, I can't go to the job interview for you.

296
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:31.740
I can't do the relationships that you have, that you need, or that are

297
00:20:31.740 --> 00:20:32.740
necessary in your life.

298
00:20:32.760 --> 00:20:38.800
I can't do those relationships for, for you, but I can be there in, in that, in

299
00:20:38.800 --> 00:20:40.880
the season with you, you know what I'm saying?

300
00:20:41.480 --> 00:20:47.520
So it's a, it's a hard truth, but it's also like a very profound, beautiful

301
00:20:47.500 --> 00:20:49.220
truth, you know?

302
00:20:50.040 --> 00:20:53.320
And so that's where, that's where faith comes in.

303
00:20:53.360 --> 00:20:54.700
That's where belief comes in.

304
00:20:54.700 --> 00:20:59.880
That's where setting your expectations in faith, believing that God is a

305
00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:01.680
rewarder of those that diligently seek him.

306
00:21:02.100 --> 00:21:06.560
It's not about putting the, in the hours or putting in the time, Oh, you

307
00:21:06.560 --> 00:21:09.740
haven't sought, you know, you haven't sought him enough.

308
00:21:10.420 --> 00:21:16.220
It's just a matter of like people who are like, okay, this is what I want.

309
00:21:16.260 --> 00:21:17.160
This is why the, okay.

310
00:21:18.220 --> 00:21:21.620
I hate, I don't hate it, but I just don't want people to be annoyed by it.

311
00:21:21.620 --> 00:21:23.200
But it's, it really is truthful.

312
00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:26.440
It's just like, this is why the question, what do you want is so important.

313
00:21:27.360 --> 00:21:30.040
Because if you can answer the question, what do you want?

314
00:21:30.600 --> 00:21:34.820
Then you can set your gaze and set your faith on it.

315
00:21:34.820 --> 00:21:35.300
Go Lord.

316
00:21:35.460 --> 00:21:35.800
Okay.

317
00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:39.240
This is what I really desire out of my love life.

318
00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:43.480
This is what I really want out of my, this next season or whatever it is.

319
00:21:43.740 --> 00:21:50.420
And I'm, I'm putting that desire before you and I'm asking you to show me the way.

320
00:21:50.600 --> 00:21:51.900
So I've set my plans.

321
00:21:52.460 --> 00:21:59.200
Now I'm expecting you to help me take the right steps and that's as well.

322
00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:01.320
That's six proper 69.

323
00:22:01.520 --> 00:22:02.080
Yeah.

324
00:22:02.080 --> 00:22:02.640
Yeah.

325
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:09.820
And so as we're, as we're progressing on this journey, that's the way it works to

326
00:22:09.820 --> 00:22:13.580
wonder, like, I mean, it's, it is human nature is like, Oh God, where are you?

327
00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:19.780
The Psalms of course, bears that out so much, you know, like David's like, Oh

328
00:22:20.560 --> 00:22:22.780
you've, you know, abandoned me.

329
00:22:22.860 --> 00:22:23.500
You've left me.

330
00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:24.700
I'll, you know, where are you?

331
00:22:24.840 --> 00:22:26.000
This is the, I'm in the darkest hour.

332
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:28.280
We all as humans, we all go through that.

333
00:22:28.340 --> 00:22:30.040
So that's a very human response.

334
00:22:30.040 --> 00:22:35.660
But at the same time, when you can come to yourself and coming into clarity, coming

335
00:22:35.660 --> 00:22:40.820
to sort of a right mind and go, you know, okay, what is it I really am after here?

336
00:22:40.860 --> 00:22:44.640
What does I really want to like see in this next season?

337
00:22:46.080 --> 00:22:49.300
And you may even feel like God is leading you into something.

338
00:22:49.300 --> 00:22:53.580
Like, I really feel God has for me a person or has for me a job

339
00:22:53.580 --> 00:22:59.520
opportunity or a career move or, you know, a location move because

340
00:22:59.520 --> 00:23:01.320
of whatever reasons, right?

341
00:23:01.480 --> 00:23:03.280
And you may be feeling led into that.

342
00:23:03.360 --> 00:23:06.420
So you just like, you know, I feel like there's a desire for that.

343
00:23:06.860 --> 00:23:13.680
And so Lord, I'm going to partner with you to set my expectations in faith to

344
00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:15.960
believe that you're going to show me the right steps to take.

345
00:23:17.120 --> 00:23:22.540
And that may not sound like an easy answer, but it is a really good answer.

346
00:23:23.320 --> 00:23:24.260
You know what I'm saying?

347
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:34.780
It is a very whole, complete and mature scriptural answer to kind of the where's

348
00:23:34.780 --> 00:23:40.020
God, you know, but, um, I mean, I hope that's encouraging and I just, I just

349
00:23:40.020 --> 00:23:42.800
think it's interesting that that's just a thought I had this morning.

350
00:23:42.800 --> 00:23:43.720
I was just driving the car.

351
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:47.900
I was talking to myself and I just thought about that sort of like analogy,

352
00:23:48.380 --> 00:23:52.200
like that God doesn't, God parents is like good parents parent their children

353
00:23:52.700 --> 00:23:58.060
with expectation and anticipation and excitement all along the journey.

354
00:23:58.060 --> 00:23:59.520
Like, what's he going to do next?

355
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:03.940
What's, what's, what's, what's, where's he going to end up now?

356
00:24:04.240 --> 00:24:07.460
You type thing, you know, how's it all going to end type thing.

357
00:24:08.080 --> 00:24:14.060
And God looks at us with that expectation, but at the same time, ready

358
00:24:14.060 --> 00:24:15.860
and willing and able to, to help.

359
00:24:16.620 --> 00:24:19.380
If we let him, we have that conversation.

360
00:24:19.860 --> 00:24:23.400
It is the, like there are points to your, you know, yes, I

361
00:24:23.400 --> 00:24:24.460
understood everything you said.

362
00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:27.640
And at our point in life, you'd say, you know, I like a little bit divine

363
00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:31.280
intervention right here, rather than let me walk through this.

364
00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:36.000
I mean, I've had the very tangible things when I was like, Lord, I

365
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.800
need a job, like really fast.

366
00:24:38.620 --> 00:24:39.080
And yeah.

367
00:24:39.780 --> 00:24:40.220
Okay.

368
00:24:40.280 --> 00:24:41.480
Here's your job.

369
00:24:41.540 --> 00:24:42.080
But yeah.

370
00:24:42.700 --> 00:24:44.020
How did that happen?

371
00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:44.720
Yeah.

372
00:24:45.400 --> 00:24:49.660
And then that was to me, that was divine intervention at the same time.

373
00:24:50.180 --> 00:24:54.140
While at the same time, why I had to go out network and put resumes out and call

374
00:24:54.140 --> 00:24:58.780
people and all that stuff, like the staff, but yes, I understand what you're saying.

375
00:24:58.800 --> 00:24:59.980
I don't always want to walk.

376
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:00.580
the steps.

377
00:25:01.840 --> 00:25:02.740
Yeah, of course.

378
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.160
That's the work, you know?

379
00:25:05.220 --> 00:25:07.180
And sometimes, you know, it's like, look,

380
00:25:07.180 --> 00:25:09.240
I should choose a salad, you know,

381
00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:10.920
because it's healthier or whatever.

382
00:25:11.520 --> 00:25:13.300
But right now, I just want ice cream.

383
00:25:13.840 --> 00:25:15.800
You know, it's just kind of like sometimes, you know,

384
00:25:16.020 --> 00:25:17.720
the ice cream supersedes, you know,

385
00:25:17.720 --> 00:25:19.520
the better choice that we want.

386
00:25:19.800 --> 00:25:22.740
But the question is, is if we choose ice cream too much,

387
00:25:22.740 --> 00:25:24.320
then we pay for it.

388
00:25:24.320 --> 00:25:25.460
So it's like, now what?

389
00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:26.940
So it's like, you know,

390
00:25:26.940 --> 00:25:29.940
I'm not trying to oversimplify things,

391
00:25:30.040 --> 00:25:31.300
but I'm trying to make it in such a way

392
00:25:31.300 --> 00:25:32.180
that it's kind of like, yeah,

393
00:25:32.180 --> 00:25:34.380
it's really kind of like that, you know?

394
00:25:37.020 --> 00:25:39.760
But no, Robert, I appreciate you sharing.

395
00:25:39.940 --> 00:25:40.720
I really do.

396
00:25:41.380 --> 00:25:45.620
Bob, my dad's name is Robert and he goes by Bob as well.

397
00:25:46.340 --> 00:25:53.380
Matter of fact, he lives in a 55 plus apartment community

398
00:25:53.380 --> 00:25:54.620
and it's really social.

399
00:25:54.840 --> 00:25:56.680
It's not an old folks home at all.

400
00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:57.700
There's no medical or anything,

401
00:25:57.940 --> 00:25:59.900
but he's fit as a fiddle.

402
00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:01.320
He's got his mind really good.

403
00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:04.240
And he walks around there like big man on campus

404
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:05.880
and he's Bobby to everybody like,

405
00:26:06.040 --> 00:26:07.680
hey, I'm Bobby, you know, like, oh Lord.

406
00:26:07.840 --> 00:26:09.260
And I kind of roll my eyes

407
00:26:09.260 --> 00:26:10.860
and here's my dad coming along here

408
00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:13.340
trying to shuck and jive, you know,

409
00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:15.540
and just like be Mr. Social.

410
00:26:18.780 --> 00:26:20.200
So I'll have to remember that.

411
00:26:21.560 --> 00:26:22.440
Yeah, yeah.

412
00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:23.360
Okay.

413
00:26:23.360 --> 00:26:26.700
So guys, what else is going on today?

414
00:26:26.980 --> 00:26:28.380
We've got Thomas popped on here.

415
00:26:28.540 --> 00:26:30.140
Hey, Thomas, hadn't seen you for a minute.

416
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:32.100
Good to, I know you've been here

417
00:26:32.160 --> 00:26:34.560
because I've seen you on some other calls,

418
00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:35.780
but I haven't been here as much.

419
00:26:35.860 --> 00:26:37.480
We've got Tim on here.

420
00:26:37.740 --> 00:26:38.140
Hi, Tim.

421
00:26:39.260 --> 00:26:40.760
Matthew was on here before.

422
00:26:41.060 --> 00:26:42.060
See you on camera now.

423
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:43.920
John's on here.

424
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:45.380
Good to see you guys.

425
00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:47.580
What's going on with you guys?

426
00:26:47.640 --> 00:26:49.240
Anybody else got anything going on?

427
00:26:50.180 --> 00:26:53.160
You want to share questions?

428
00:26:53.460 --> 00:26:55.900
Let us know some of your victories.

429
00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:58.180
I've been learning good stuff,

430
00:26:58.280 --> 00:27:00.920
but it looks like Tim, you unmuted yourself.

431
00:27:01.280 --> 00:27:03.460
So would you like to go first?

432
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:04.680
No, go ahead.

433
00:27:04.840 --> 00:27:06.500
Yeah, I'm muting away there.

434
00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:08.240
I'm muted, let's see.

435
00:27:09.360 --> 00:27:10.320
Ha ha ha, that's funny.

436
00:27:11.540 --> 00:27:12.680
Okay, well, thanks.

437
00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:14.580
Yeah, yeah, I've been learning a lot.

438
00:27:14.900 --> 00:27:18.120
I just did my rescue SCUBA certification.

439
00:27:19.860 --> 00:27:21.420
Weekend before this last one,

440
00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:23.760
and that was really helpful.

441
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:24.860
In my dancing classes,

442
00:27:24.860 --> 00:27:28.220
they had talked about leadership as invitation.

443
00:27:29.940 --> 00:27:31.240
And so I had made that a rule.

444
00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:33.400
And then in this rescue class,

445
00:27:33.580 --> 00:27:36.500
they were talking about how you have to command people,

446
00:27:36.500 --> 00:27:38.480
like in times of crisis and emergency.

447
00:27:39.660 --> 00:27:43.160
So it was helpful both to understand

448
00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:45.960
that sometimes instead of creating rules,

449
00:27:45.980 --> 00:27:48.080
you need to have wisdom to decide

450
00:27:48.080 --> 00:27:49.640
which set of principles to apply.

451
00:27:50.380 --> 00:27:50.600
Yeah.

452
00:27:51.840 --> 00:27:58.100
And then also to understand

453
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:03.740
that leadership requires choices in the moment.

454
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:04.100
Yeah.

455
00:28:04.280 --> 00:28:05.840
So that's been good.

456
00:28:06.100 --> 00:28:08.140
I went to Akiyana's art conference.

457
00:28:08.180 --> 00:28:10.360
I was so sorry to miss the party in Austin.

458
00:28:11.260 --> 00:28:11.260


459
00:28:11.520 --> 00:28:12.160
Oh my gosh.

460
00:28:12.220 --> 00:28:12.740
How exciting.

461
00:28:13.080 --> 00:28:13.320
It was.

462
00:28:13.560 --> 00:28:15.480
I don't know if you guys saw any pictures

463
00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:16.300
or video or whatever.

464
00:28:16.300 --> 00:28:17.960
We'll post more.

465
00:28:18.080 --> 00:28:19.180
There's some on social out there,

466
00:28:19.320 --> 00:28:25.220
but it was the most overwhelming blessed experience

467
00:28:25.600 --> 00:28:30.800
of having more than a hundred of our community

468
00:28:30.800 --> 00:28:33.300
of last year's single in one place in Austin.

469
00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:36.600
And many of the people we had met before

470
00:28:36.600 --> 00:28:38.800
because of different retreats or different events

471
00:28:38.800 --> 00:28:42.520
or places that we went to and saw them at church.

472
00:28:42.740 --> 00:28:43.920
Like Bob mentioned,

473
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:45.640
we were at King of Kings earlier this year.

474
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:49.600
And so many of the people we had met,

475
00:28:49.700 --> 00:28:52.400
but there were so many others that we had not met at all.

476
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:56.940
But to see them all in one place was just so cool.

477
00:28:57.360 --> 00:28:59.580
And we celebrated, we had a great time.

478
00:28:59.700 --> 00:29:02.620
We had a party, we had cake, we had food, we had prayer.

479
00:29:03.740 --> 00:29:09.940
We had, we honored our staff and our team

480
00:29:10.580 --> 00:29:13.900
and some key people that are really helped

481
00:29:13.900 --> 00:29:17.880
to sort of like establish the last year single movement.

482
00:29:21.760 --> 00:29:23.940
Nope, it looks like we lost him.

483
00:29:24.360 --> 00:29:25.340
Oh, yeah.

484
00:29:25.340 --> 00:29:25.860
He'll come back.

485
00:29:26.820 --> 00:29:27.040
Yeah.

486
00:29:27.540 --> 00:29:28.680
He always does.

487
00:29:28.980 --> 00:29:29.300
Yeah.

488
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:33.220
And then someone had a supernatural dream

489
00:29:33.220 --> 00:29:36.540
about me going to Italy to St. Peter's Basilica.

490
00:29:36.540 --> 00:29:38.180
So I'm leaving tomorrow for there.

491
00:29:38.260 --> 00:29:39.000
So that'll be interesting.

492
00:29:39.940 --> 00:29:40.560
Wait, really?

493
00:29:41.560 --> 00:29:42.080
Tomorrow?

494
00:29:43.040 --> 00:29:43.420
Yep.

495
00:29:44.560 --> 00:29:46.280
They jumped on that one pretty quick.

496
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:50.580
No, no, they, this was in like July.

497
00:29:51.620 --> 00:29:53.900
Oh, the dream was like last night or something.

498
00:29:56.320 --> 00:29:59.280
No, so grateful for that and curious what's ahead.

499
00:30:00.680 --> 00:30:04.140
We'll see. We'll see.

500
00:30:04.320 --> 00:30:05.840
What's going on with you, Tim?

501
00:30:11.340 --> 00:30:14.720
Hey, guys. Yeah, great to see you,

502
00:30:14.860 --> 00:30:16.300
but bummer I missed last night too.

503
00:30:16.340 --> 00:30:18.460
I planned to go and then my flight got delayed

504
00:30:18.800 --> 00:30:21.600
and I had to work today,

505
00:30:21.780 --> 00:30:23.240
so I didn't plan much.

506
00:30:23.280 --> 00:30:24.160
I should have taken Monday off,

507
00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:26.040
but if they ever want to move to Saturday night,

508
00:30:26.040 --> 00:30:27.140
that would be awesome.

509
00:30:30.220 --> 00:30:31.420
But let's see.

510
00:30:31.460 --> 00:30:34.780
I was at a conference this weekend for the Jesus Film Ministry,

511
00:30:34.960 --> 00:30:36.620
if you've ever heard of it, Jesus Film Project,

512
00:30:37.840 --> 00:30:39.780
and just movie about the life of Christ

513
00:30:39.780 --> 00:30:41.680
and translated to more than 2,000 languages,

514
00:30:41.820 --> 00:30:42.720
but it was good.

515
00:30:44.080 --> 00:30:50.540
It was just a big reminder of eternal perspective,

516
00:30:52.140 --> 00:30:55.200
and there's a book called the BEMA,

517
00:30:56.280 --> 00:30:57.920
there's a BEMA seat in the Bible

518
00:30:57.920 --> 00:30:59.800
that talks about judgment of believers.

519
00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:04.080
But it was like an acting rendition of that.

520
00:31:04.080 --> 00:31:07.300
I'd never heard of it, but it was very convicting

521
00:31:08.040 --> 00:31:12.820
that this guy was 35 married kids and was just focused

522
00:31:14.620 --> 00:31:18.240
on making a partner as I think in a law firm or accounting firm,

523
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:21.860
something like that, and then rapture happens and he hadn't done,

524
00:31:21.940 --> 00:31:23.940
he was saved, so he was going to heaven,

525
00:31:23.940 --> 00:31:27.560
but just really hadn't done much to live for Christ.

526
00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:30.820
But then other people had,

527
00:31:31.040 --> 00:31:34.460
like even the housekeeper at the office,

528
00:31:34.560 --> 00:31:37.020
he always belittled and wasn't very nice too,

529
00:31:37.520 --> 00:31:38.940
but she'd always prayed a lot.

530
00:31:39.040 --> 00:31:43.680
So it was just a good reminder that 100 years from now or less,

531
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:49.360
that all the things that I worry about really won't matter anymore.

532
00:31:49.620 --> 00:31:51.440
I won't care about was I married,

533
00:31:51.620 --> 00:31:53.480
did I have kids, this and that.

534
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:56.140
Things that consume me right now,

535
00:31:57.200 --> 00:31:58.500
those things won't matter.

536
00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:01.400
So I was just trying to keep that perspective in mind.

537
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:07.280
So I've fallen to the lie of my life is only complete,

538
00:32:07.360 --> 00:32:10.900
I only fulfill my life purpose if I get married and have kids or get

539
00:32:11.300 --> 00:32:13.760
married and raise step-kids or something.

540
00:32:14.340 --> 00:32:16.660
I know that's just life in the pit of hell,

541
00:32:16.740 --> 00:32:19.120
but it's hard to believe that when we live in it.

542
00:32:19.120 --> 00:32:26.460
I was pretty much the only single person in a room of 380 people there,

543
00:32:26.580 --> 00:32:27.860
like older adults.

544
00:32:28.420 --> 00:32:29.120
So it was just kind of.

545
00:32:34.820 --> 00:32:36.780
Oops, you're breaking up a little.

546
00:32:41.380 --> 00:32:48.360
Tim, you said that you feel like the idea of purpose or things along those lines.

547
00:32:48.360 --> 00:32:52.920
Do you have some guiding principles that help you decide what's important and

548
00:32:52.920 --> 00:32:54.980
what's not important or like,

549
00:32:55.080 --> 00:32:55.960
because I know in first Corinthians,

550
00:32:56.080 --> 00:32:58.360
it says, let everyone live according to how they've been called.

551
00:33:00.020 --> 00:33:02.360
Whoops. Do we lose you, Tim?

552
00:33:07.760 --> 00:33:09.840
Sorry. Can you hear me?

553
00:33:10.660 --> 00:33:10.940
Yeah.

554
00:33:12.700 --> 00:33:14.380
Is it breaking up?

555
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:16.220
It was a little bit.

556
00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:17.380
It seems a little less now.

557
00:33:17.380 --> 00:33:20.380
I'll stop my video.

558
00:33:20.600 --> 00:33:21.340
That tends to help.

559
00:33:21.980 --> 00:33:23.480
Did that help at all?

560
00:33:23.620 --> 00:33:24.680
Yeah, I'll go outside.

561
00:33:26.220 --> 00:33:27.960
Okay. Yeah. So yeah.

562
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:32.240
So do you have any tools or ideas that you've found that have been,

563
00:33:32.600 --> 00:33:35.080
because obviously our lives have meaning, they can have meaning.

564
00:33:36.600 --> 00:33:37.740
But I don't know.

565
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:39.000
Do you, I mean,

566
00:33:39.700 --> 00:33:45.380
is there anything that you've found that helps you decide what's kind of a lie or

567
00:33:45.380 --> 00:33:48.620
the truth or what's going to be meaningful in the long run?

568
00:33:49.760 --> 00:33:51.440
Yeah. Just really the scripture,

569
00:33:52.040 --> 00:33:56.180
some Christian books, a couple of Christian books.

570
00:33:56.180 --> 00:33:58.780
I've been to Christian counseling before.

571
00:34:00.260 --> 00:34:03.100
So I'd say that's really it.

572
00:34:06.500 --> 00:34:08.500
Am I still breaking up? I went outside.

573
00:34:08.540 --> 00:34:09.880
No, you're doing great now. Yeah.

574
00:34:09.620 --> 00:34:13.940
Okay. Yeah.

575
00:34:13.940 --> 00:34:16.620
So I don't know if anybody else struggles with that or it's just,

576
00:34:16.719 --> 00:34:18.480
I'm trying to break myself of that mindset.

577
00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:20.500
I'm very extroverted.

578
00:34:20.659 --> 00:34:24.719
So I think that's one of the challenges for me is I do enjoy,

579
00:34:25.120 --> 00:34:28.000
some people probably get tired of being around their spouse and everything.

580
00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:32.080
Maybe I would, but I don't really sense that.

581
00:34:32.139 --> 00:34:33.760
I've had a serious girlfriend.

582
00:34:33.960 --> 00:34:35.960
I didn't really sense that.

583
00:34:37.780 --> 00:34:41.159
So yeah, I have some regrets.

584
00:34:41.360 --> 00:34:43.100
I dated a girl for a long time.

585
00:34:43.100 --> 00:34:44.139
I didn't think she was interested.

586
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:45.060
So I broke it off.

587
00:34:45.420 --> 00:34:47.280
And then finally when I tried to get back together,

588
00:34:47.300 --> 00:34:48.580
then she wasn't interested.

589
00:34:48.659 --> 00:34:52.719
And so I was like, oh man, I think I could have married her.

590
00:34:54.159 --> 00:34:54.760
That's tough.

591
00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:59.200
So yeah, but just trying to keep eternal perspective.

592
00:34:59.240 --> 00:34:59.980
I think that's the big thing.

593
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.280
I'm, you know, God's always trying to teach me repeatedly.

594
00:35:07.820 --> 00:35:08.940
Guys, I'm back.

595
00:35:09.020 --> 00:35:09.840
I'm, I apologize.

596
00:35:10.100 --> 00:35:13.740
My phone died and I wasn't doing good battery management.

597
00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:15.940
So I took me that long to get back on.

598
00:35:16.460 --> 00:35:16.720
Welcome back.

599
00:35:17.600 --> 00:35:19.120
So I, I miss your share, Tim.

600
00:35:19.120 --> 00:35:25.640
I'm sorry about that, but hopefully it was, uh, sounds like it was a

601
00:35:25.640 --> 00:35:27.660
little bit of some, some bad news.

602
00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:29.540
Oh, yeah.

603
00:35:29.540 --> 00:35:32.140
I mean, just, yeah, just trying to learn.

604
00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:36.220
I was at a good conference, um, this weekend with Jesus film ministry.

605
00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:40.300
And it was just focused on, um, you know, eternal perspective.

606
00:35:40.360 --> 00:35:46.980
And I, I tend to get wrapped up in, um, in an unhealthy way, you know, about

607
00:35:46.980 --> 00:35:48.020
the idea of trying to get married.

608
00:35:48.140 --> 00:35:53.640
And I've just had a lot of not, not success with, with dating.

609
00:35:53.780 --> 00:35:57.140
And, um, sometimes it's not, I don't like the girl or the girl

610
00:35:57.140 --> 00:35:58.200
ends up like not liking me.

611
00:35:58.200 --> 00:36:02.240
And so I just, I just keep struggling with the idea of, okay, Lord, I, you

612
00:36:02.240 --> 00:36:06.120
know, I'm sure you're trying to teach me things, but you know, I just, I

613
00:36:06.120 --> 00:36:09.540
don't see his grace in my life in that area and it gets a little frustrating.

614
00:36:10.380 --> 00:36:12.700
So, um, have you been married before?

615
00:36:13.040 --> 00:36:16.340
I was married for a year, uh, back in 2012.

616
00:36:16.580 --> 00:36:16.980
Yeah.

617
00:36:16.980 --> 00:36:21.200
And it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, I mean, pardon my

618
00:36:21.200 --> 00:36:22.060
French, it was from hell.

619
00:36:22.100 --> 00:36:22.860
It was really bad.

620
00:36:23.420 --> 00:36:24.720
Thankfully she was a nonbeliever.

621
00:36:24.860 --> 00:36:25.640
She wanted to leave.

622
00:36:25.820 --> 00:36:27.460
So I, I let her leave.

623
00:36:28.200 --> 00:36:29.100
He's remarried.

624
00:36:29.720 --> 00:36:31.680
So, but yeah, that was, that was 11 years ago.

625
00:36:31.680 --> 00:36:34.140
And I went through divorce, uh, divorce care and, you know,

626
00:36:34.140 --> 00:36:36.600
counseling and things, but, um, yeah.

627
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:41.360
So you, you just, are you struggling or you're saying you're struggling to

628
00:36:42.460 --> 00:36:48.560
connect in the dating process, like with the right person, or do you think that,

629
00:36:51.940 --> 00:36:58.460
um, do you, do you find that there's a commonality with the type of person

630
00:36:59.160 --> 00:37:03.580
that you're going after or that connects with you, or is there no

631
00:37:03.740 --> 00:37:05.360
commonality at all in terms of like,

632
00:37:06.460 --> 00:37:07.900
yeah, I don't see a commonality.

633
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:10.900
Like the girl I dated for a lot and pursued for a long time.

634
00:37:10.900 --> 00:37:12.920
She was very extroverted, pretty ADD.

635
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:17.080
The girl that I dated for eight months after that, I thought

636
00:37:17.080 --> 00:37:17.800
was going to marriage.

637
00:37:17.800 --> 00:37:20.640
She was more introverted and, uh, I really liked that.

638
00:37:20.700 --> 00:37:21.620
She was very stable.

639
00:37:22.580 --> 00:37:25.600
Um, and, uh, so I think, you know, they're very, my friends would say

640
00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:30.100
they had very different personalities, so I wouldn't think it's one type of person.

641
00:37:31.080 --> 00:37:36.360
Um, so I don't think, I think my issue is I don't find a whole lot of girls out

642
00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:42.000
there that seem to be a good match.

643
00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:42.740
I don't know.

644
00:37:42.820 --> 00:37:43.280
Yeah.

645
00:37:43.280 --> 00:37:44.460
I'm not looking for Miss America.

646
00:37:44.660 --> 00:37:45.360
That's for sure.

647
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:49.820
A good match in what way or, or are they not marriage minded?

648
00:37:50.780 --> 00:37:53.960
Some aren't marriage minded, you know, the, the girl I dated for eight

649
00:37:53.960 --> 00:37:57.220
months, she ended up saying, I just don't actually three girls.

650
00:37:57.500 --> 00:38:02.140
Maybe it was just, they didn't like me, but, um, but just don't, I don't, they

651
00:38:02.140 --> 00:38:03.920
probably won't get remarried or married.

652
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:05.000
One of them hasn't been married.

653
00:38:05.820 --> 00:38:07.780
So, um, yeah.

654
00:38:07.780 --> 00:38:10.220
And some don't seem marriage minded.

655
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:13.320
Some, I don't know.

656
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:15.240
It just seems like it's hard to, I mean,

657
00:38:15.240 --> 00:38:16.680
I don't want to say all the good ones are taken.

658
00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:23.600
Cause I know there are a lot of great ones in, um, YLS, but, um, I just, I,

659
00:38:23.780 --> 00:38:27.380
there just aren't a lot of, like I was at a conference and I was, there was one

660
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:31.940
single girl there and I inquired about, you know, talk to her, talk, talk to

661
00:38:31.940 --> 00:38:35.400
someone who knows her and she has a serious boyfriend and they're kind of

662
00:38:35.400 --> 00:38:36.520
moving towards engagement, you know?

663
00:38:36.520 --> 00:38:41.420
So it's like, there's just a real paucity of women out there.

664
00:38:41.420 --> 00:38:48.080
And I know women say about men and the ones that are out there, you're not,

665
00:38:48.520 --> 00:38:51.400
not very, not very exciting.

666
00:38:51.460 --> 00:38:54.640
You know, not, and what I mean by that is not very like, I'll go to sports

667
00:38:54.640 --> 00:38:57.060
bar with a couple of buddies to watch a football game and the girls that are

668
00:38:57.060 --> 00:39:02.240
there, it's like, I would never, you know, I would not be interested in asking

669
00:39:02.240 --> 00:39:06.280
them out and at church, you know, there are, there are a lot of great 25, 30

670
00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:08.680
year olds, but you know, they're half my age.

671
00:39:08.680 --> 00:39:14.680
So, you know, um, so yeah, it's just a challenge and, you know, I guess God

672
00:39:14.680 --> 00:39:16.420
maybe wants me for single for a reason.

673
00:39:16.620 --> 00:39:21.060
And, um, I don't know what that is, but I think it's just to, you know,

674
00:39:21.120 --> 00:39:22.740
trust him better, trust him more.

675
00:39:24.140 --> 00:39:27.900
Um, you know, yeah.

676
00:39:28.040 --> 00:39:28.260
Yeah.

677
00:39:28.260 --> 00:39:35.500
I mean, the, the, the only thing that keeps on coming up to me is, um, that's

678
00:39:35.500 --> 00:39:38.540
why I was asking about the marriage minded thing is, is I'm not sure

679
00:39:38.540 --> 00:39:44.780
if that may be the common thread is that you might be meeting girls that

680
00:39:44.780 --> 00:39:49.340
aren't quite as marriage minded as maybe they think, or you think, or

681
00:39:49.340 --> 00:39:51.280
they maybe even want to be.

682
00:39:51.820 --> 00:39:56.780
And so it's kind of faltering before it really ever gets a chance to be something.

683
00:39:57.320 --> 00:39:59.980
But that could, that could be a commonality.

684
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.780
That's something to look for that look into, but yeah, I guess I'm surprised.

685
00:40:04.860 --> 00:40:05.260
I didn't know.

686
00:40:05.320 --> 00:40:10.080
I thought Christian girls wanted to get married, but I'm finding that a lot of

687
00:40:10.460 --> 00:40:15.160
them, they would say they do, but they don't, it's a, it's a complex thing.

688
00:40:15.160 --> 00:40:17.020
It's, it's hard to say Christian girls.

689
00:40:17.100 --> 00:40:22.400
Like that's, that's a broad, like, that's like, just say, just say women

690
00:40:22.720 --> 00:40:25.820
because, I mean, I mean, only cause I've dated just Christian girls, like

691
00:40:25.820 --> 00:40:29.360
pretty strong Christian girls, but yeah, I wouldn't know, I mean, maybe

692
00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:30.800
non-Christian girls are the same.

693
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:35.720
I mean, well, the reality is, is that, you know, women are finding, you know,

694
00:40:36.040 --> 00:40:40.800
there's more and more reasons in the world we live in today for men and women.

695
00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:45.120
There are different reasons for men and different reasons for women, but

696
00:40:45.240 --> 00:40:49.320
nonetheless, there are more and more reasons overall in the culture that we

697
00:40:49.320 --> 00:40:55.060
live in for people to find reasons to not be married, like it's, it's, uh,

698
00:40:55.060 --> 00:41:00.500
it's, uh, it's, it's pretty rough in terms of the marriage thing because

699
00:41:01.280 --> 00:41:08.740
marriage and relationships looks hard and it doesn't look attractive.

700
00:41:09.040 --> 00:41:15.900
And the only, the, one of the things that's also a factor is there are too

701
00:41:15.900 --> 00:41:20.800
many things to occupy our time and our energy and our resources.

702
00:41:21.420 --> 00:41:24.380
You have too many alternatives to say, you know what?

703
00:41:24.700 --> 00:41:26.600
Maybe I, maybe I don't need to be married.

704
00:41:26.700 --> 00:41:32.740
Maybe I can just go have relationship with a bunch of people, get my

705
00:41:32.740 --> 00:41:38.520
relationship tank filled, whatever that is, and enjoy my life and make money

706
00:41:38.560 --> 00:41:41.340
and see the world and have friends.

707
00:41:41.720 --> 00:41:46.800
And the world is my oyster sort of thing, you know, or world is my misery

708
00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:50.440
sort of thing, whatever, whatever your choice of poison is, you know?

709
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:53.980
And the problem is, is that it's just, it's like that.

710
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:56.200
And so it's a strategy of the enemy.

711
00:41:56.360 --> 00:41:59.160
It's just, it's a sign of the times and the day that we live in, of course.

712
00:41:59.760 --> 00:42:00.260
Right.

713
00:42:00.260 --> 00:42:05.260
And that's a huge factor, but I really believe, and there's something

714
00:42:05.260 --> 00:42:07.460
that, that happened last night as well.

715
00:42:07.960 --> 00:42:09.160
That's really incredible.

716
00:42:09.640 --> 00:42:13.540
I met, I don't know, some of you may remember this guy, Tom, she might

717
00:42:13.540 --> 00:42:19.520
remember him, the guy named James Margulies, James Margulies, he was on

718
00:42:19.520 --> 00:42:23.640
calls, uh, this, these type of calls more than a year ago.

719
00:42:24.780 --> 00:42:30.980
And at one point he was talking about how he had connected the, the, the

720
00:42:31.660 --> 00:42:35.360
woman that he, uh, he was with.

721
00:42:35.640 --> 00:42:37.660
She was a part of last year single.

722
00:42:37.980 --> 00:42:39.580
She had become part of the program.

723
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:42.180
She told him about last year single.

724
00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:45.020
And so that's where, how he joined the men's side.

725
00:42:45.080 --> 00:42:47.400
And so he started coming on.

726
00:42:47.400 --> 00:42:51.160
Well, in the course of their sort of getting to know each other, something, I

727
00:42:51.160 --> 00:42:54.120
can't remember exactly what the details are, but something he said or did just

728
00:42:54.120 --> 00:42:55.980
kind of like left a bad taste in her mouth.

729
00:42:56.060 --> 00:42:58.080
And so she was just like, I don't know about this guy.

730
00:42:58.500 --> 00:43:01.860
And so she kind of like cooled off the relationship to the

731
00:43:01.860 --> 00:43:02.880
point where it wasn't anything.

732
00:43:03.740 --> 00:43:06.760
Well, he felt very affected by that.

733
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:09.000
He's like, no, he wasn't going to give up.

734
00:43:09.100 --> 00:43:12.860
He was just like, no, there's something to this, this, this, I like this girl.

735
00:43:12.860 --> 00:43:13.700
I like this woman.

736
00:43:13.700 --> 00:43:17.820
I feel bad that whatever I said or did upset her.

737
00:43:19.020 --> 00:43:24.200
And in the course of the call, just like this call, I said, I said, well,

738
00:43:24.860 --> 00:43:29.380
sometimes, you know, it's not about a text or not about a voicemail, whatever.

739
00:43:29.380 --> 00:43:33.720
And if you, if you have to, you may even need to write her a letter.

740
00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:39.800
And I don't know if you remember this, but I, as you're shaking your

741
00:43:39.800 --> 00:43:42.960
head, Tom, as you remember this, I told him that you may have to write a letter.

742
00:43:42.960 --> 00:43:44.280
So what did he do?

743
00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:50.200
He wrote a three page letter from his heart, from us, from his, from his mind

744
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:53.580
and to say, Hey, I'm sorry, whatever.

745
00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:58.120
And you know, this is not, you know, this is maybe there was a wrong impression

746
00:43:58.120 --> 00:44:02.960
or maybe there, you know, I came across wrong and I didn't mean that, but I'm

747
00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:04.840
sorry for making you feel the way you feel.

748
00:44:05.040 --> 00:44:09.280
I'd really like to have an opportunity to, um, he wrote this letter.

749
00:44:09.760 --> 00:44:10.220
Okay.

750
00:44:11.400 --> 00:44:16.220
And that letter got to her and it was stacked in a bunch of other mail and it

751
00:44:16.520 --> 00:44:20.960
got hidden in a stack of bills that were on her kitchen table or on her desk at

752
00:44:20.960 --> 00:44:24.340
her house or something for like a month for like the longest time.

753
00:44:24.620 --> 00:44:26.180
And he's like, Oh my gosh.

754
00:44:26.180 --> 00:44:28.840
Well, like, I don't know whatever happened to that.

755
00:44:29.700 --> 00:44:31.100
She finally found the letter.

756
00:44:31.540 --> 00:44:34.900
She read the letter, her heart was changed and she gave him another

757
00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:37.120
opportunity and now they're married.

758
00:44:37.180 --> 00:44:38.440
They got married last November.

759
00:44:38.980 --> 00:44:42.780
They are celebrating their first year anniversary next month in November.

760
00:44:43.260 --> 00:44:45.120
And they were there at the party last night.

761
00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:50.620
And he told me that story and I'm like, Oh my gosh, like James, his name sounded

762
00:44:51.080 --> 00:44:53.180
familiar and I didn't recognize his face.

763
00:44:53.180 --> 00:44:56.080
But then when he said the letter, I'm like, you're the guy that wrote the letter.

764
00:44:56.340 --> 00:44:57.600
Like, that's incredible.

765
00:44:58.600 --> 00:44:59.740
That's, it was amazing.

766
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.840
There were probably a dozen other stories of individuals that were there at the

767
00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:09.560
party last night, because there were not just single part of our community, but

768
00:45:09.560 --> 00:45:12.600
there were married couples that were success stories of last year, single

769
00:45:12.600 --> 00:45:13.800
there at the party last night.

770
00:45:14.160 --> 00:45:16.000
And it was absolutely incredible.

771
00:45:16.160 --> 00:45:20.840
And so I only say that to say that there's, there's so many levels of

772
00:45:21.520 --> 00:45:24.020
hope, um, to where things can be rekindled.

773
00:45:24.260 --> 00:45:28.560
Things are where maybe, maybe you look before, but now, you know, if

774
00:45:28.560 --> 00:45:29.600
you look again, it's different.

775
00:45:29.600 --> 00:45:37.100
There's so many levels of these stories and, and thinking about people and things.

776
00:45:37.200 --> 00:45:41.460
And there's, there's definitely a strategy of the enemy to, to,

777
00:45:41.880 --> 00:45:43.520
to make marriage unattractive.

778
00:45:43.640 --> 00:45:45.440
But I think there's a grace.

779
00:45:45.820 --> 00:45:48.400
And I think God is what God is doing in last year.

780
00:45:48.740 --> 00:45:56.640
Single is giving a grace to help us show, um, how great marriage can be.

781
00:45:56.660 --> 00:45:58.020
It's like, I hate to say it.

782
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:02.060
If politically this rubs you the wrong way, but make marriage

783
00:46:02.060 --> 00:46:03.280
great again, sort of thing.

784
00:46:03.860 --> 00:46:04.740
But I don't mean that.

785
00:46:04.740 --> 00:46:06.200
I don't mean that politically.

786
00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:12.360
I just mean it in the sense of like, you know, it's, it's a great phrase and it's

787
00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:18.040
true, there's like, there's, there's a way that God, I think is wanting to do.

788
00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:22.260
Um, again, in marriage, he's wanting to show his sons and daughters.

789
00:46:22.260 --> 00:46:26.640
And when Jackie accepted the call the first time to start this movement,

790
00:46:27.180 --> 00:46:29.720
that was the phrase that the Lord asked her, said, I want

791
00:46:29.720 --> 00:46:31.160
my sons and daughters married.

792
00:46:31.540 --> 00:46:34.160
Will you help me get them?

793
00:46:34.160 --> 00:46:37.620
Will you help me, you know, get them understanding this.

794
00:46:38.200 --> 00:46:40.300
And that was the original mandate.

795
00:46:40.460 --> 00:46:41.580
And she said, yes.

796
00:46:41.720 --> 00:46:48.520
And from that 1600 people that we can count and we've lost count since then

797
00:46:48.520 --> 00:46:50.520
1600 people have got engaged or married.

798
00:46:51.180 --> 00:46:55.040
You know, as, as a result of touching this program, not all of them met in this

799
00:46:55.040 --> 00:46:59.140
program are all, not all of them met because of the program, but they met

800
00:46:59.320 --> 00:47:04.400
in tangent or connected to, or one or the other, or both or whatever was in the

801
00:47:05.160 --> 00:47:09.120
program, um, connected with one of our events, whatever it was, and we can

802
00:47:09.220 --> 00:47:17.340
document that and so there's something, something on that and it may be bleak

803
00:47:17.340 --> 00:47:22.800
in the world, in our society for marriage, but not when God is involved

804
00:47:23.640 --> 00:47:26.780
and not when God has a hand in your life.

805
00:47:26.900 --> 00:47:29.320
So it's a matter of faith and trust to go.

806
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:29.760
Okay.

807
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:31.200
Okay.

808
00:47:31.200 --> 00:47:35.180
If it can happen for James, if it can happen for all the other success stories

809
00:47:35.180 --> 00:47:37.980
we have in our community, then it can happen for you.

810
00:47:38.040 --> 00:47:44.840
It can happen for me and it can happen at all ages, all walks of life, all

811
00:47:44.840 --> 00:47:51.960
backgrounds of life, all income and ratio levels and all of that, it really can

812
00:47:51.960 --> 00:47:57.460
happen and, um, so I just want, I say that to increase your faith tonight to,

813
00:47:58.020 --> 00:48:01.560
to give you hope that, um, it's possible.

814
00:48:01.580 --> 00:48:07.640
Not all hope is lost in this area and the God is really doing, um, something

815
00:48:07.640 --> 00:48:12.640
about matter of fact, something that James said at the party last night.

816
00:48:13.860 --> 00:48:18.160
Again, not trying to be politically motivated here at all.

817
00:48:18.160 --> 00:48:19.740
It just happens to be a fact.

818
00:48:20.580 --> 00:48:27.300
He said he was, uh, he was a big Charlie Kirk, um, watcher and he was paying

819
00:48:27.300 --> 00:48:28.720
attention to watch a lot of videos.

820
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:33.640
He said there was a video that he came across and Charlie Kirk was being

821
00:48:34.840 --> 00:48:41.700
interviewed and he was talking about marriage and family and the statement

822
00:48:41.700 --> 00:48:50.800
was Charlie, uh, reportedly said a lot of people that quote, a lot of people

823
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:55.820
have given up on the idea of marriage, but I know I've heard of a woman.

824
00:48:55.820 --> 00:49:00.640
Her name is Jackie Dorman and she wrote a book called last year or

825
00:49:00.660 --> 00:49:01.860
married in 12 months or less.

826
00:49:01.940 --> 00:49:03.780
You should check out her last year single program.

827
00:49:04.940 --> 00:49:09.520
And then we checked up on it and we found out because we researched it and

828
00:49:09.520 --> 00:49:13.580
we found out that that was an actual quote that he had said at some point in

829
00:49:13.620 --> 00:49:17.900
an interview and we're, I'm looking for, I'm looking for the video evidence of

830
00:49:17.900 --> 00:49:23.740
it as well, because I want to get that video of it, not to try to like hang

831
00:49:23.740 --> 00:49:30.420
out, like catch a coattails, but it's significant for someone like, again,

832
00:49:30.580 --> 00:49:35.100
regards to politics, you have to, you have to know that a guy like Charlie

833
00:49:36.100 --> 00:49:44.280
who was part of his thing was to contend for family, contend for marriage,

834
00:49:44.720 --> 00:49:51.020
contend for children, contend for like, you know, things we believe in as, as

835
00:49:51.020 --> 00:49:55.180
Christian believers, he had those values, he espoused those values and he was

836
00:49:55.180 --> 00:49:59.380
always championing those values in his, in his talks.

837
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.140
And I think it's significant that someone like him would mention our movement.

838
00:50:06.040 --> 00:50:12.480
And so, again, for what it's worth, I think God is trying to do something in marriage.

839
00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:19.520
And even last night's event was just another, like, it wasn't a feather in the cap as much

840
00:50:19.520 --> 00:50:30.920
as it was just like, wow, a heavy sort of like, sort of a mandate, a resolve to say that I want

841
00:50:31.920 --> 00:50:36.300
my sons and daughters married. And I'm going to make a way, if they're willing,

842
00:50:36.900 --> 00:50:43.460
if my sons and my daughters, those who are followers of Jesus and have a righteousness

843
00:50:43.460 --> 00:50:49.480
that they're after in their life, and they want it, they can have it.

844
00:50:50.380 --> 00:50:55.020
And so, you know, we were releasing that last night in the spirit. I'm releasing it right now

845
00:50:55.020 --> 00:51:01.180
as I'm talking about on this call to tell you that, you know, God wants you married. Like,

846
00:51:01.200 --> 00:51:04.180
we even say that phrase, like, God wants you married even more than you want to be married.

847
00:51:04.540 --> 00:51:10.180
And that's the way to say that's like, you know, like, God's so into this, this institution of a

848
00:51:10.340 --> 00:51:14.360
man and a woman establishing legacy and establishing offspring and establishing,

849
00:51:14.860 --> 00:51:23.560
you know, a family unit. It's so important to the work of righteousness that he is all in

850
00:51:24.020 --> 00:51:31.260
and he's all in for you. And sometimes, you know, we get in our own way. You know, we let our flesh

851
00:51:31.260 --> 00:51:40.320
get in the way. We're like, oh, that person's not cute enough. That person's not pretty enough. I

852
00:51:40.320 --> 00:51:47.020
mean, there are levels of attraction that go way beyond just appearances, you know? And men,

853
00:51:47.420 --> 00:51:51.740
that's somewhat of a hang up can be sometimes like, oh, I want a supermodel. I mean, okay,

854
00:51:51.740 --> 00:51:54.420
I don't want a supermodel, but I just want somebody who just kind of looks like a supermodel.

855
00:51:54.540 --> 00:52:00.460
I'm like, all right, seriously, bro. It's like, that's cool, but that's not all that marriage is

856
00:52:00.460 --> 00:52:06.800
about. You know what I'm saying? There is more depth to that. So if that's a stumbling block,

857
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:11.120
then it's like, you know, allow the Lord, do some hard work around that and allow the Lord

858
00:52:11.120 --> 00:52:17.320
to get you beyond that. But at the same time, don't limit yourself. See, that could be a

859
00:52:17.320 --> 00:52:22.760
limitation in and of itself, like just on looks alone. Like why would you swipe left and swipe,

860
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:26.320
you know, against somebody because just their looks, like you don't even know them.

861
00:52:26.940 --> 00:52:32.360
There's so many people, like it was, we were having some of the women talk about it last

862
00:52:32.360 --> 00:52:39.300
night. They're like, man, it's really interesting to see somebody online, meet them and kind of

863
00:52:39.860 --> 00:52:43.900
like get to know them, but you're not really sure. Women are doing the same thing, by the way,

864
00:52:43.900 --> 00:52:49.340
as far as like the appearance, you know, because men like really represent them really poorly in

865
00:52:49.340 --> 00:52:54.940
their pictures because men don't know how to take pictures. It's terrible. And so women are like

866
00:52:54.940 --> 00:52:59.760
suspect over like, who's this guy, you know, like, but then it's like when they meet you in person

867
00:52:59.760 --> 00:53:06.240
and they feel your vibe, like, oh, okay. Like I like this person's energy. I like this vibe. Like

868
00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:09.240
they're more attractive in real life. They're more attractive in person.

869
00:53:09.420 --> 00:53:16.400
So you have to give it enough chance to get to the point where you're like, I need more

870
00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:21.320
information to see if this person's even viable. I need, I need more information to see this person

871
00:53:21.320 --> 00:53:28.160
is even, um, there's even more to talk to. So I know that's a hard process. I know it's

872
00:53:28.860 --> 00:53:34.760
really uncomfortable in a lot of ways, but it's necessary to get to the good thing.

873
00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:40.500
It's necessary to get to the reward of the fulfillment of the relationship of what God has

874
00:53:40.500 --> 00:53:48.900
for you. So, um, I'm saying all this with as much encouragement as I can. I'm not trying to beat up.

875
00:53:48.900 --> 00:53:55.260
I'm not trying to like put down. I'm just trying to say that, yeah, there's some work. And if you

876
00:53:55.260 --> 00:54:03.720
want to be in relationship and a marriage, godly relationship, I will say this in all faith

877
00:54:04.060 --> 00:54:11.820
that you can have it. God is ready and willing and able to honor that for you.

878
00:54:12.200 --> 00:54:18.240
Just partner with him to do the hard work, to do the inner work, put your best foot forward,

879
00:54:18.240 --> 00:54:25.760
try your best and let God do his miraculous work. Amen.

880
00:54:26.460 --> 00:54:31.280
Yeah. I appreciate that. That's such great encouragement to me, but I think to all of us.

881
00:54:31.560 --> 00:54:35.080
And yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah. No, I'm yeah. No, I, whenever, whenever I do this,

882
00:54:35.100 --> 00:54:40.560
I'm always talking to everybody. Yeah. I just want to say one, one, just 10 seconds.

883
00:54:40.600 --> 00:54:44.620
Just want to say thank you to you and Jackie, because, um, most, you know, naturally most

884
00:54:44.620 --> 00:54:48.840
marrieds want to do ministry with other marrieds or kids or this or that. And so,

885
00:54:49.200 --> 00:54:53.620
you know, singles can be difficult. So I really appreciate how God's put singles on your heart

886
00:54:53.620 --> 00:54:57.840
and that you dedicate yourselves. It means a lot. So thank you.

887
00:54:57.880 --> 00:54:59.980
Well, I appreciate that. Thank you for saying that. Yeah.

888
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.640
It's again, it was just last night was a culmination of just a lot of that in our

889
00:55:05.820 --> 00:55:10.960
face and it was just a huge blessing to be able to see that, that so many lives

890
00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:12.220
have been touched and changed.

891
00:55:12.540 --> 00:55:15.620
And, you know, even a lot of the ladies and a lot of people that were there

892
00:55:15.620 --> 00:55:20.520
last night, you know, met through this group and they live in different cities

893
00:55:20.520 --> 00:55:23.680
and they meet up and they like, are meeting each other for the first time

894
00:55:23.680 --> 00:55:27.000
in person, some of them, and they're finally meeting and they're like, they're

895
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:29.600
getting good community and friendship.

896
00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:34.400
And like, it's just, it's amazing, you know, aside from finding

897
00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:35.700
their spirit mate type thing.

898
00:55:35.720 --> 00:55:40.860
And we did announce last night, we did announce a new program

899
00:55:41.800 --> 00:55:43.140
that we're calling spirit mate.

900
00:55:43.840 --> 00:55:50.320
And it is a resource for couples and a research, a resource for newly married

901
00:55:50.840 --> 00:55:53.000
and even longtime married individuals.

902
00:55:53.000 --> 00:55:59.420
So we now are starting a program called spirit mates where there'd be coursing,

903
00:55:59.640 --> 00:56:03.180
there'll be coaching, there'll be resources and events, just like we have

904
00:56:03.180 --> 00:56:04.980
for last year single, but for married people.

905
00:56:05.740 --> 00:56:09.880
And we want to do that as a resource because we have what we call SIMBAS,

906
00:56:10.280 --> 00:56:11.920
which is save your marriage before it starts.

907
00:56:11.980 --> 00:56:16.080
And so it is a class that, that individuals who are wanting to get married or think

908
00:56:16.080 --> 00:56:20.340
they want to get married or engaged, they can take that through with us and through

909
00:56:20.900 --> 00:56:25.180
last year's single program and they can get, they can get that help, but it's

910
00:56:25.180 --> 00:56:30.920
just a, it's just one class, but the spirit mates program is now going to be

911
00:56:30.920 --> 00:56:34.720
a resource for those that are engaged.

912
00:56:34.720 --> 00:56:36.780
We'll allow engaged people to be involved.

913
00:56:37.180 --> 00:56:42.660
People who are getting married, just got married, newlyweds, and possibly

914
00:56:42.660 --> 00:56:47.380
even individuals that have been married for a long time, and we've gathered

915
00:56:47.380 --> 00:56:52.620
some, some really good coaches, some married couples, some other married

916
00:56:53.540 --> 00:56:59.980
couples that have long history of marriage and good coaches that are

917
00:56:59.980 --> 00:57:02.060
going to be speaking into that.

918
00:57:02.320 --> 00:57:06.660
There's four, there's four couples actually that will be speaking into

919
00:57:06.660 --> 00:57:09.760
that, including me and Jackie that will be helping couples.

920
00:57:10.180 --> 00:57:16.480
So that's to say that when you all come into that level of relationship,

921
00:57:16.920 --> 00:57:22.020
you can continue on with resources that we'll have within this community to be

922
00:57:22.020 --> 00:57:27.520
able to help you navigate through the marriage relationship as well.

923
00:57:28.780 --> 00:57:29.120
David, right.

924
00:57:29.140 --> 00:57:30.360
You've had your hand up for a long time, bro.

925
00:57:30.360 --> 00:57:30.740
I'm sorry.

926
00:57:30.900 --> 00:57:31.600
Go ahead, bro.

927
00:57:32.480 --> 00:57:33.580
Yeah, that's okay.

928
00:57:34.420 --> 00:57:37.800
Can I just take like, I know we're right at time, so I don't want to

929
00:57:37.800 --> 00:57:41.480
take too much time for people, but yeah, I had a hard weekend.

930
00:57:42.620 --> 00:57:46.740
It's been a while since you and I've talked, but I'm like in an

931
00:57:46.740 --> 00:57:48.220
early level three relationship.

932
00:57:49.680 --> 00:57:54.580
So it's been about 10 weeks and yeah, I decided to cancel my weekend meeting

933
00:57:54.580 --> 00:57:57.000
with the girl that I was seeing.

934
00:57:57.780 --> 00:58:03.220
There was, yeah, there was a lot of like not respecting my boundaries and really,

935
00:58:03.960 --> 00:58:10.060
as the guys know, like really pushing for old information and very jealous

936
00:58:10.060 --> 00:58:11.960
about a girl who referred me to the program.

937
00:58:12.760 --> 00:58:16.600
So this girl was constantly asking about this girl, asking about this girl.

938
00:58:16.680 --> 00:58:20.640
And I said, look, like, as we keep focusing on that, like if you're going

939
00:58:20.640 --> 00:58:23.540
to pull me back to the past that I can't stay in the present, like I need

940
00:58:23.540 --> 00:58:25.620
to put all my energy into the future.

941
00:58:26.560 --> 00:58:30.100
Um, and, uh, yeah, she's getting triggered.

942
00:58:30.240 --> 00:58:31.640
She's getting triggered a little bit.

943
00:58:32.060 --> 00:58:32.420
Right.

944
00:58:32.420 --> 00:58:35.040
And she just kind of said like, oh, you don't understand my anointing and

945
00:58:35.040 --> 00:58:37.540
you're new in the program and I've been here since day one.

946
00:58:38.460 --> 00:58:41.840
And so, and, uh, she's also 10 years older than me.

947
00:58:43.160 --> 00:58:45.440
So we had a, we had a long talk.

948
00:58:45.660 --> 00:58:51.180
And so I just said, look like, you know, like this relationship.

949
00:58:51.220 --> 00:58:54.360
So the person that she was obsessed with was someone who I used to date,

950
00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:57.440
who is a lovely person, wasn't interested in me named Phoebe.

951
00:58:57.500 --> 00:58:59.600
And I said, it can't be you, me and Phoebe.

952
00:58:59.700 --> 00:59:01.180
It needs to be just David and Evelyn.

953
00:59:01.420 --> 00:59:04.160
And so we had a talk, we had a long conversation.

954
00:59:04.380 --> 00:59:05.980
She apologized and she said, you know what?

955
00:59:06.420 --> 00:59:09.780
I was, she said I was kind of arrogant and I kind of felt like I'd arrived.

956
00:59:10.120 --> 00:59:13.540
And I realized that like, I need to work on some of these things.

957
00:59:14.380 --> 00:59:18.260
She kind of said, like, I understand if you want to take a step back and

958
00:59:18.260 --> 00:59:19.760
kind of just go to level two again.

959
00:59:20.820 --> 00:59:24.620
Um, but she, she said that she's actually on Wednesday is going to be

960
00:59:24.620 --> 00:59:29.860
meeting with a coach, um, or somebody through a prayer call that's apparently

961
00:59:29.860 --> 00:59:34.360
very difficult to pray like, and so, um, and so she's going to be praying with

962
00:59:34.360 --> 00:59:37.440
that and she said, like, I realized that like, I want to work on some of this stuff.

963
00:59:37.840 --> 00:59:38.720
So, yeah.

964
00:59:39.600 --> 00:59:44.220
So right now you canceled, you canceled the plans you had with her just for the

965
00:59:44.500 --> 00:59:50.980
weekend, but, um, are you in your heart and your mind, or even in her heart and

966
00:59:50.980 --> 00:59:56.700
her mind, are you kind of like, did you just, did you backed off the relationship

967
00:59:56.780 --> 00:59:59.760
or you're just going, you're just kind of pausing it for right now?

968
01:00:03.620 --> 01:00:05.660
I think we're still talking to each other.

969
01:00:05.760 --> 01:00:08.160
I think for me, I've backed off holding hands.

970
01:00:08.900 --> 01:00:13.640
I think that's the only intimacy we have is holding hands, but I think for me, that would

971
01:00:13.640 --> 01:00:14.780
be too much right now.

972
01:00:16.380 --> 01:00:17.880
But I would say we're probably still in life.

973
01:00:17.880 --> 01:00:17.900
And it's hard.

974
01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:22.180
I mean, because once you go anything physical, it's hard to really draw that back.

975
01:00:22.360 --> 01:00:23.460
So that's challenging.

976
01:00:23.460 --> 01:00:29.960
But at the same time, yeah, I mean, to give some space, give some air to breathe.

977
01:00:30.780 --> 01:00:35.080
Because it sounded like she was having some triggering things happen to her.

978
01:00:35.560 --> 01:00:41.840
And if she's aware of that, and she apologized about that, and wants to do some more work

979
01:00:41.840 --> 01:00:42.880
around that, that's cool.

980
01:00:43.740 --> 01:00:49.160
And at the same time, yeah, if you came, whether you were intending to or not, if you came

981
01:00:49.160 --> 01:00:53.940
across a little arrogant to her, that can be just because I feel like you're confident

982
01:00:53.940 --> 01:00:58.840
in a lot of the healing that you've gotten in recent months and the work you're doing.

983
01:00:59.360 --> 01:01:03.880
And that's just a matter of just you just being a little bit more sensitive to kind

984
01:01:04.220 --> 01:01:10.720
of like tied to her emotions in that moment, try to make, oh, okay, I hear you, basically.

985
01:01:11.280 --> 01:01:13.680
Like I don't want to come across as arrogant or whatever.

986
01:01:13.980 --> 01:01:16.820
So just kind of like kind of soften that a little bit.

987
01:01:16.820 --> 01:01:29.320
But yeah, I mean, I wish you, you know, well in that pause, but it's okay.

988
01:01:29.320 --> 01:01:31.880
It could be just a bump in the road, you know?

989
01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:32.280
Yeah.

990
01:01:32.500 --> 01:01:38.120
It could be just sort of a temporary thing, like a little yellow flag, and then that's it.

991
01:01:38.120 --> 01:01:40.020
Yeah, I think for me, this was a red flag.

992
01:01:41.260 --> 01:01:42.860
It was a big one.

993
01:01:42.860 --> 01:01:46.080
And yeah, but we've talked about it.

994
01:01:46.380 --> 01:01:50.160
And I mean, it can be a red flag for now, and then it can turn.

995
01:01:50.660 --> 01:01:52.720
But yeah, maybe with some time.

996
01:01:53.320 --> 01:01:53.900
Hi, guys.

997
01:01:56.280 --> 01:01:58.480
And she is the woman of the hour.

998
01:01:58.740 --> 01:01:59.200
Party last night.

999
01:01:59.220 --> 01:02:00.460
Oh, yeah, we talked all about it.

1000
01:02:00.460 --> 01:02:03.160
Do you tell him how many amazing women were there?

1001
01:02:03.220 --> 01:02:03.780
A lot.

1002
01:02:04.040 --> 01:02:05.820
There was a lot of beautiful women there.

1003
01:02:05.980 --> 01:02:07.320
That's the only thing I didn't mention.

1004
01:02:07.580 --> 01:02:08.400
But yeah, there was.

1005
01:02:09.280 --> 01:02:12.740
I mean, don't mean to make you feel bad, but you should have been like literally

1006
01:02:12.740 --> 01:02:18.460
a hundred beautiful women from all over the country in Canada.

1007
01:02:18.940 --> 01:02:19.620
And so.

1008
01:02:19.840 --> 01:02:21.480
People flew down, eh?

1009
01:02:22.140 --> 01:02:23.140
Oh, my gosh.

1010
01:02:23.280 --> 01:02:24.300
Oh, yeah, eh.

1011
01:02:24.300 --> 01:02:26.060
There was probably 15.

1012
01:02:26.100 --> 01:02:27.440
I didn't realize I did it.

1013
01:02:27.740 --> 01:02:32.220
There's probably 15 to 20 different states that were represented and outside

1014
01:02:32.220 --> 01:02:36.880
the United States and Canada that were represented at that party last night.

1015
01:02:36.960 --> 01:02:37.640
It was incredible.

1016
01:02:38.240 --> 01:02:42.040
So, guys, we got to do something because there's way too much matchmaking that

1017
01:02:42.040 --> 01:02:43.460
needs to happen right now.

1018
01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:44.420
Oh, question.

1019
01:02:45.020 --> 01:02:47.560
Any chance that that could be on a Saturday night in the future?

1020
01:02:47.600 --> 01:02:51.400
I had to work today, so I couldn't go, but.

1021
01:02:51.680 --> 01:02:53.540
No, I mean, well, do you live here?

1022
01:02:53.540 --> 01:02:54.860
Are you in Austin, Tim?

1023
01:02:55.000 --> 01:02:55.960
I'm in Dallas.

1024
01:02:56.060 --> 01:02:59.940
I'm not that far, but I just I knew I'd get home like at two, three in the morning.

1025
01:03:00.420 --> 01:03:00.820
Yeah, yeah.

1026
01:03:01.000 --> 01:03:03.840
Most people were staying over and I hear you had to work.

1027
01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:08.740
Well, the good news is that we made some announcements for our next five years.

1028
01:03:08.740 --> 01:03:11.200
We're really going to focus on community based matchmaking.

1029
01:03:12.360 --> 01:03:14.980
You know, that's really what we want to focus on.

1030
01:03:15.060 --> 01:03:18.760
We feel like that's one area where we've been mildly successful.

1031
01:03:19.680 --> 01:03:23.120
I mean, we have sixteen hundred success stories, but, you know, only a fraction

1032
01:03:23.120 --> 01:03:27.220
of them are actually from within the community and we want to see more

1033
01:03:27.220 --> 01:03:28.340
from within the community.

1034
01:03:28.500 --> 01:03:31.280
And so there isn't a reason why we can't be doing that.

1035
01:03:31.360 --> 01:03:33.340
And so that is what we want to focus on.

1036
01:03:33.480 --> 01:03:35.620
One of the main things we want to focus on going forward.

1037
01:03:35.620 --> 01:03:40.320
I think, yeah, having some more in-person stuff is going to be helpful.

1038
01:03:40.460 --> 01:03:45.600
And my voice is almost gone because we were we were we were going hard

1039
01:03:45.600 --> 01:03:46.880
to like two o'clock in the morning.

1040
01:03:47.140 --> 01:03:47.680
So it was crazy.

1041
01:03:47.780 --> 01:03:49.540
OK, it was so fun, you guys.

1042
01:03:49.680 --> 01:03:50.320
You would have had so much.

1043
01:03:50.600 --> 01:03:51.300
I believe it.

1044
01:03:51.300 --> 01:03:52.220
So I wish I were there.

1045
01:03:52.540 --> 01:03:53.020
It sounds amazing.

1046
01:03:53.700 --> 01:03:56.160
So, yeah, we had to make we actually had to make the announcement.

1047
01:03:57.420 --> 01:03:59.540
Y'all don't got to go home.

1048
01:03:59.540 --> 01:04:00.400
You don't got to go home.

1049
01:04:00.440 --> 01:04:01.260
You can't stay here.

1050
01:04:01.820 --> 01:04:03.040
So we've got to close.

1051
01:04:03.780 --> 01:04:07.420
So I actually forgot a part of my testimony, David,

1052
01:04:07.980 --> 01:04:09.480
if that's OK, just to share briefly.

1053
01:04:10.280 --> 01:04:13.360
So what the Lord said is he says, you're going to know this for me

1054
01:04:13.360 --> 01:04:14.380
because I'm going to give you gold.

1055
01:04:14.720 --> 01:04:16.200
I'm going to give you a box of gold.

1056
01:04:16.280 --> 01:04:19.380
And I thought like and I was thinking maybe it'll be metaphorically.

1057
01:04:19.480 --> 01:04:21.960
But today I like buying and selling.

1058
01:04:22.060 --> 01:04:24.840
So I bought a storage locker and I found a whole box

1059
01:04:25.040 --> 01:04:27.760
filled with like 24 karat gold rings.

1060
01:04:27.760 --> 01:04:31.440
And like, oh, yeah, like literally like at least like

1061
01:04:32.260 --> 01:04:37.080
probably like I would say, like, I don't know, like maybe 15 necklaces

1062
01:04:37.080 --> 01:04:41.620
that are 24 karat gold, probably 30 rings that are 30 karat gold

1063
01:04:41.620 --> 01:04:45.680
with appraisals in this box and a storage locker that I paid for 100 bucks.

1064
01:04:46.760 --> 01:04:47.580
So that's incredible.

1065
01:04:48.280 --> 01:04:50.560
He's like, you're going to know it's for me, because on Monday,

1066
01:04:50.560 --> 01:04:51.340
I'm going to give you gold.

1067
01:04:51.340 --> 01:04:54.520
And I thought, oh, like I just thought he meant like, oh, men's ministry,

1068
01:04:54.620 --> 01:04:55.880
like it's going to be great.

1069
01:04:55.940 --> 01:04:59.920
But it was like actual a whole box, a whole storage.

1070
01:05:01.280 --> 01:05:04.820
I don't know about you, I would be taking that as a sign.

1071
01:05:04.980 --> 01:05:08.140
I would definitely be taking that as a credit act.

1072
01:05:08.620 --> 01:05:11.140
Yeah, gold is $4,000 an ounce, so.

1073
01:05:11.220 --> 01:05:11.480
Yeah.

1074
01:05:11.880 --> 01:05:16.480
So thank you, Laura, because I was pretty nervous to cancel my plans with her, but God's

1075
01:05:16.480 --> 01:05:19.780
like, hey, when you, you're going to get gold and you're going to know this is for me.

1076
01:05:20.060 --> 01:05:23.240
So I literally found that box and I was like, okay.

1077
01:05:23.920 --> 01:05:24.360
Okay.

1078
01:05:24.360 --> 01:05:28.840
So it may not be over yet, but yeah, just kind of progress on that journey.

1079
01:05:28.840 --> 01:05:30.940
Do your heart work, let her do her heart work.

1080
01:05:31.200 --> 01:05:33.480
And maybe there's some more to be had with that.

1081
01:05:34.760 --> 01:05:40.040
So one of the things that I think going forward is, is that we, we really can't, um, obviously

1082
01:05:40.140 --> 01:05:46.360
nobody's perfect, but we want to be entertaining connection with people who are also doing

1083
01:05:46.360 --> 01:05:46.820
the work.

1084
01:05:47.660 --> 01:05:48.100
Yeah.

1085
01:05:48.100 --> 01:05:50.260
So that's really going to be important going forward.

1086
01:05:50.340 --> 01:05:51.600
They don't have to be perfect.

1087
01:05:51.740 --> 01:05:57.180
They don't have to, they can still be in process, but they have to be really intentionally doing

1088
01:05:57.180 --> 01:05:57.680
the work.

1089
01:05:58.260 --> 01:06:02.780
You know, whether it's heart work within this program or some other type of work, um,

1090
01:06:02.780 --> 01:06:08.200
that's Christ-based, that's biblically based, that they truly want to see, um, the restoration

1091
01:06:08.320 --> 01:06:11.340
of marriage and family in their own line and their own life.

1092
01:06:11.360 --> 01:06:12.900
We're not here to play games.

1093
01:06:13.020 --> 01:06:16.620
We're here to become the people that we need to be, to be able to partner.

1094
01:06:16.800 --> 01:06:18.180
Did you tell them about Charlie Kirk?

1095
01:06:18.620 --> 01:06:18.940
Yeah.

1096
01:06:19.260 --> 01:06:20.000
That's crazy.

1097
01:06:20.120 --> 01:06:20.560
Y'all.

1098
01:06:21.240 --> 01:06:25.060
I mean, I would have never found that out, but God wanted me to know.

1099
01:06:25.060 --> 01:06:25.340
Yeah.

1100
01:06:25.340 --> 01:06:26.360
I've seen that video.

1101
01:06:27.000 --> 01:06:29.520
It's a, I'll try to find it for you, David.

1102
01:06:29.520 --> 01:06:30.080
I've seen it.

1103
01:06:30.120 --> 01:06:30.580
It's an interview.

1104
01:06:30.840 --> 01:06:33.840
That's how I first, that's how I first heard about Jackie.

1105
01:06:34.640 --> 01:06:34.840
Stop.

1106
01:06:35.840 --> 01:06:36.240
Yeah.

1107
01:06:36.460 --> 01:06:36.740
Yeah.

1108
01:06:36.740 --> 01:06:37.860
That's how I heard about it.

1109
01:06:37.860 --> 01:06:38.120
Phoebe.

1110
01:06:38.940 --> 01:06:39.520
Phoebe recommended me.

1111
01:06:39.660 --> 01:06:40.420
That's how I got in it.

1112
01:06:40.780 --> 01:06:43.500
But yeah, I first heard about it through, through a Charlie Kirk interview.

1113
01:06:43.460 --> 01:06:46.140
I'll, I'll, I'll find it and I'll send it to you.

1114
01:06:46.200 --> 01:06:46.540
Oh yeah.

1115
01:06:46.540 --> 01:06:47.960
We've been praying that we could find it.

1116
01:06:48.040 --> 01:06:49.100
It'd be great to find it.

1117
01:06:49.520 --> 01:06:54.460
I know that my, I know that my PR team last year mentioned me going on, um, a turning

1118
01:06:54.460 --> 01:06:55.920
point USA podcast.

1119
01:06:56.120 --> 01:06:57.940
I didn't, I have to be honest with you guys.

1120
01:06:58.020 --> 01:06:59.000
I didn't know what that was.

1121
01:06:59.880 --> 01:07:08.660
So, uh, I know what it is now, but, um, yeah, I feel like obviously, you know, Charlie was,

1122
01:07:09.040 --> 01:07:10.340
you know, whatever you want to call it.

1123
01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:10.820
He was murdered.

1124
01:07:10.980 --> 01:07:11.600
He was assassinated.

1125
01:07:11.900 --> 01:07:12.300
He was martyred.

1126
01:07:12.500 --> 01:07:13.320
Whatever you prefer.

1127
01:07:13.320 --> 01:07:17.320
I don't want to get in an argument about any of those, um, any of those things.

1128
01:07:17.320 --> 01:07:23.360
But I do want to say that, um, regardless of what you think about that, there's definitely

1129
01:07:23.360 --> 01:07:30.420
some big shoes to fill, uh, as far as what they were up to and doing in the area of making

1130
01:07:30.420 --> 01:07:33.660
marriage great again, you know, in the minds of youth.

1131
01:07:33.900 --> 01:07:38.360
And so we really want to pick that mantle up and, you know, and we want to, we want

1132
01:07:38.360 --> 01:07:43.960
to pick it up for you guys, for Gen X, um, for, for the, for the, for the, um, baby boomers.

1133
01:07:44.860 --> 01:07:48.500
I, we even had someone from the greatest generation get married.

1134
01:07:49.360 --> 01:07:49.840
Yeah.

1135
01:07:50.360 --> 01:07:52.400
They're like, they would be 86 now.

1136
01:07:52.620 --> 01:07:55.920
They were 81 when they got married in our program.

1137
01:07:56.820 --> 01:07:59.500
Um, but we're all about, we're all about the lineage and legacy.

1138
01:08:00.100 --> 01:08:03.000
So I would say one more thing.

1139
01:08:03.600 --> 01:08:08.180
And that is we have got to be making some matches.

1140
01:08:08.860 --> 01:08:09.460
Okay.

1141
01:08:09.460 --> 01:08:15.080
There's way too many gorgeous, beautiful inside and outside women in this program.

1142
01:08:15.800 --> 01:08:16.580
And there's you guys.

1143
01:08:16.640 --> 01:08:18.460
And we've got to do that.

1144
01:08:18.520 --> 01:08:19.479
We gotta do that.

1145
01:08:19.479 --> 01:08:23.779
If you want, you know, if you want a seal of approval that a woman is doing the work

1146
01:08:23.779 --> 01:08:28.840
that she's just as beautiful on the inside as the outside, then you need to pick from

1147
01:08:29.660 --> 01:08:30.700
this community.

1148
01:08:30.859 --> 01:08:35.279
I would instantly just along the lines of what Jackie's saying in terms of somebody

1149
01:08:35.279 --> 01:08:39.700
else else's doing the work, really challenge you to make that your prayer right now.

1150
01:08:40.300 --> 01:08:48.460
Like okay, Lord, show me the one that's doing the work, you know, and make sure that you're

1151
01:08:48.460 --> 01:08:52.220
doing the work as well, because that's where the connection is going to be.

1152
01:08:52.760 --> 01:08:58.200
And just, just kind of shift your focus into instead of focusing on like, well, you know,

1153
01:08:58.200 --> 01:09:00.319
what does she do or what is she into?

1154
01:09:00.380 --> 01:09:04.479
Or what does she, you know, like where's she from all like, like all the characters, like

1155
01:09:04.479 --> 01:09:05.700
forget that for a moment.

1156
01:09:05.960 --> 01:09:09.580
Just trust the Lord is going to bring you the one that's doing the work.

1157
01:09:09.859 --> 01:09:13.439
There's maybe a little bit of juice on that because I feel like for like when she said

1158
01:09:13.439 --> 01:09:14.399
that, I felt like there was something.

1159
01:09:14.399 --> 01:09:19.040
So maybe just change your prayer a little bit and make that your prayer this week and,

1160
01:09:19.279 --> 01:09:20.439
and see what the Lord does.

1161
01:09:20.580 --> 01:09:21.560
See, see what comes.

1162
01:09:21.800 --> 01:09:30.920
I mean, like there is so much spiritual, supernatural serendipity in this movement, like things

1163
01:09:30.920 --> 01:09:32.600
that are just counterintuitive.

1164
01:09:33.020 --> 01:09:36.319
You wouldn't think they would be, but they just do all the time.

1165
01:09:36.359 --> 01:09:40.760
Now when I get a, I want to give a shout out to my girl, Christine, not last week as you

1166
01:09:40.760 --> 01:09:44.899
guys had Mike last week, but the week before David and Christine were doing integrative

1167
01:09:44.899 --> 01:09:48.080
attachment theory with you guys introducing that subject.

1168
01:09:48.660 --> 01:09:49.100
She's single.

1169
01:09:49.439 --> 01:09:50.840
She's one of my students.

1170
01:09:51.520 --> 01:09:52.540
She's been one of my students.

1171
01:09:52.640 --> 01:09:53.420
She's incredible.

1172
01:09:53.819 --> 01:09:55.140
You guys saw she's incredible.

1173
01:09:55.380 --> 01:09:55.940
She's beautiful.

1174
01:09:56.420 --> 01:09:59.840
She's obviously done the work and, um, and she's very.

1175
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.080
feminine and very soft, kindhearted, loves Jesus.

1176
01:10:03.240 --> 01:10:05.700
She lives in Florida currently

1177
01:10:06.380 --> 01:10:08.140
and just want to give her a shout out.

1178
01:10:08.440 --> 01:10:08.560
Good.

1179
01:10:09.400 --> 01:10:10.860
Is she in YLS or no?

1180
01:10:10.940 --> 01:10:11.200
What?

1181
01:10:11.660 --> 01:10:13.520
Is she in YLS or no?

1182
01:10:14.080 --> 01:10:14.740
She is.

1183
01:10:14.820 --> 01:10:16.220
I mean, she's in our extended community.

1184
01:10:16.360 --> 01:10:17.720
She's one of our one-on-one coaches,

1185
01:10:17.980 --> 01:10:19.080
but she was a student.

1186
01:10:19.360 --> 01:10:20.060
Now she's a one-on-one coach.

1187
01:10:20.180 --> 01:10:21.680
Two Mondays ago, she did a session with us

1188
01:10:21.680 --> 01:10:23.820
on some integrated attachment theory.

1189
01:10:23.860 --> 01:10:24.880
I remember her.

1190
01:10:24.880 --> 01:10:25.420
Catch that session.

1191
01:10:25.540 --> 01:10:26.500
Yeah, catch that session.

1192
01:10:26.520 --> 01:10:27.160
He's amazing.

1193
01:10:27.180 --> 01:10:28.340
And the replays, it should be there.

1194
01:10:28.800 --> 01:10:29.240
All right, guys,

1195
01:10:29.240 --> 01:10:34.640
have a great week and be prayerful.

1196
01:10:34.880 --> 01:10:37.020
And we'll see you next time on Heart Check-In.

1197
01:10:37.100 --> 01:10:38.440
Wait, we have something else this week.

1198
01:10:38.660 --> 01:10:39.380
Look on your calendar.

1199
01:10:39.720 --> 01:10:41.820
We have a special session for co-ed.

1200
01:10:42.300 --> 01:10:43.220
So we'll see you there.

1201
01:10:43.740 --> 01:10:44.180
Bye.

1202
01:10:44.500 --> 01:10:44.860
Bye.

1203
01:10:45.260 --> 01:10:45.720
All right, guys.