WEBVTT

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Now we're recording, the prayer did not get recorded, but we are recording now.

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And so yes, we're just going to continue to pray that more ladies come on.

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I'm hoping that maybe there was just this overabundance of maybe there was a lot of

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my phase two girls celebrating the five-year anniversary in Austin.

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I got to meet so many of the ladies, and if I got to meet you, it was awesome to meet

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you.

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I know there was a couple ladies, I think, from phase two that I got to see.

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It was awesome.

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I probably do not look recognizable.

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I am embarrassed to admit this, I still have not showered since Saturday, y'all.

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Like my goal was like to shower as soon as I dropped my kids off today, and I didn't.

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I got so sidetracked, like my dad had a crisis, and I'm like, okay, well, these poor ladies

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are going to have to see me like not shower today, so apologies.

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But I drove home to Dallas-Fort Worth after the party, Sunday night, I didn't leave Austin

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till like after midnight, and so I literally got home at like 3.30 in the morning, and

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I had to drink coffee like before driving.

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And so like I literally could not go to bed until like five in the morning, and then like

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I had to go drive to my son's elementary school because I didn't have lunch packed for him

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because he stayed with one of his baseball coaches, and so I was like, okay, he's not

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with family, I'm not going to make them make a lunch.

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So I'm like, I'll just take him Chick-fil-A, and so I had to like get up and do that, and

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then I got sucked into, you know, making like 1000 copies for the teacher.

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So yeah, I never got to shower in yesterday, and then I crashed when I got home from baseball

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practice and youth group.

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So my apologies, anyway, so it was a really awesome, awesome celebration.

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So ladies, like, if you weren't able to be there, don't worry, because we were praying

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for all of you.

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I got to spend some time with the ladies that were there for the retreat, got to pray over

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a lot, a lot of the ladies at the retreat, and as well as at the party.

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You know, big things are happening in this community, girls, like, I want you to take

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hold of that, like, get ready.

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Like how many of you got to listen to Jackie's Supernatural Saturday?

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Okay, Saoirse, Leah, Mika, okay, Ashley, you did as well, perfect, Ashley, okay, Stephanie,

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I don't know if you're able to raise your hand or Myra, okay, definitely, okay, Ashley,

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okay, gotcha.

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I love it.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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Thank you, Saoirse.

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Like, I love that.

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I love that.

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I actually said the same thing to one of the baseball moms last night, because she had

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to have her kid wear, like, the smelly uniform for pictures.

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We had, like, our kids' pictures, baseball pictures last night, and they, like, they

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made them practice and then took pictures afterwards.

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I'm like, like, that's weird.

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Anyway, but I said, well, at least we can't smell them from their pictures, so I love

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that you said that.

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Yes, so, yes, you can't smell me, y'all, I just don't look as pretty, but it's fine.

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So, yes, so just listen to Supernatural Saturday.

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If you haven't, the siege is over, ladies.

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I'm telling you, like, it, like, things are about to move, so start taking hold of that.

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Y'all, I've been in this program for those ladies that, you know, maybe you're brand

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new to Phase 2.

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I'm Carla Johnson.

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I am one of your coaches here in Phase 2, so maybe you're watching the replay.

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I am a success story from this group, from this community.

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I came to Jackie literally five years ago, so this weekend was so special to me because

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that is, changed my life, literally.

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Five years ago changed my life, and ladies, this community will change your life, too.

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I believe that.

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So, open your hands up, be ready to receive that this community will change your life,

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okay?

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And not just right now in this moment, but when your spirit mate comes, ladies, it will

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continue to keep changing your life.

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Y'all, I've been married now a little over two years.

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This community is still changing my life.

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Things that I was prophetically, like, spoken over five years ago in this community, things

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that God was doing and showing me in this community five years ago.

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is coming full circle in my marriage and it's happening in my marriage now.

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Like Jackie says, it doesn't have to be easy,

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it just has to be worth it.

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Ladies, I'm telling you,

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my single season in this community,

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I mean, I started in 2020.

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I didn't meet my husband until I was over two years in,

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and then we were dating and engaged.

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I really was about three years into this community

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before I was officially married.

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I didn't get married until 2023.

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Yeah, I had some hard.

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Guess what? I'm having some hard in marriage too and blending a family.

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It's not easy, but it's worth it.

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This community, God will use,

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and I shared this with the ladies on the retreat.

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It really will impact your life and God is so intricately involved and woven into

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your love story so much so that he spares no detail in that love story.

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Right when you think, okay,

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my love story is written and you're married,

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he uses bits and pieces of that love story to weave into your marriage,

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in your kids' lives, and all that stuff.

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I mean, it is incredible.

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Like I said, it's not easy.

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Heartwork still happens.

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Any of you that are watching that are brand new,

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brand new to phase two,

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you just got out of heartwork,

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don't worry, heartwork doesn't stop.

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I'm one of your coaches.

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Me and Ebony, I'm definitely the coach that will definitely heartwork you still.

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If you're like, I miss heartwork, don't worry.

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Just know that Carla will heartwork you.

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Ebony does too. But I always tell Ebony,

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don't worry girl, sometimes they can get mad at me,

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because sometimes people don't like to be heartworked.

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I get it. Some people do, some people don't.

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Some people don't like to be heartworked through their dating scenarios.

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Don't worry. But just remember what Jackie says.

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Offense is usually a hard thing.

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If I offend you, it's just a hard thing.

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I'll take no offense if you're offended to me.

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Because just know it always comes from love,

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and it always is coming from a place of,

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I probably have been there too,

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and it's probably because I have probably done it.

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So I am right there with you.

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So just know that there's never any judgment ever.

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So yeah, if you're coming in from phase one,

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you're like, I miss heartwork, don't worry.

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Heartwork still happens here.

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Heartwork will happen in your relationships,

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and heartwork will happen in your marriages,

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and heartwork happens with your kids, and your parents,

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and every which ways, and your in-laws.

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Heartwork will happen with your in-laws too, ladies.

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Some of you ladies who've been married before will know that.

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Yeah, Saoirse, she's like, yes.

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Heartwork happens with your in-laws.

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Yes, it does.

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Okay, so yes, definitely.

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That's just, again, just take hold of it, ladies,

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and just really embrace it.

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Like I said, big things are happening.

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Even Jackie was sharing with us this weekend.

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Soon, soon, soon, soon.

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Also, just know we're not, like Jackie's in the works of,

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you know, when you find your spirit mate,

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we're not trying to leave you, okay?

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So we're working at doing like a spirit mate-like group too,

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so that when you're married for like newly married people,

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I mean, I'm definitely pushing that with her.

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Like she's usually sometimes having to take phone calls

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from me like, okay, Jackie, we have a situation, help me.

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So that is in the works too.

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So we're not like, we're with you.

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Like we're a community, we are a family, all right?

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So show up, know that we're here for you, okay?

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Come into the app, let us know what you're going through.

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What's God highlighting to you?

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What's your dating experience like?

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What are you struggling with?

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What are you having success with?

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What is working?

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What's not working?

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Where are you stuck?

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Where did you get unstuck?

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What content are you watching?

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What was an aha for you?

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What is like, no, I don't like that, that offended me.

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Y'all come and share with me and Ebony, what offended you?

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Well,

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Work through it, and don't think,

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and don't be afraid if something offends you.

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I will be the first to tell you there's a lot of things

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that Jackie said in the beginning that offended me.

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A lot.

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And I know that there's oftentimes things

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that I'm gonna tell you ladies,

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and some of y'all are gonna be offended with me,

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and that's fine, okay?

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I take no offense to it, okay?

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And it's okay for you to be like,

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I don't like that you said that to me.

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You will not hurt my feelings, okay?

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And I will not judge you for it.

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I will love you through it, and we will work it through.

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And I will be the first one to say, you know what?

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Wow, maybe I didn't get it right.

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And if I was wrong, I'll let you know that.

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Y'all, I'm human.

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I'm not Jesus, okay?

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So if I get something wrong,

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I wanna be able to make it right with y'all as well, okay?

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So don't ever hesitate to tell me,

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Carla, that didn't sit well with me.

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And we'll work it through, 100%, okay?

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So all that being said, do I have any,

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I don't think I have any newbies with me right now, do I?

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I think I recognize everybody.

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I got three hands up for questions.

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That's good.

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So, Jackie's word that she released,

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Siege is over, super powerful.

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So definitely check that out.

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Okay, Myra, you are one of those that miss the heart work.

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I got you, girl.

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I got you, all right?

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So any of your heart work stuff, come to me, all right?

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I'm gonna be there.

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If you're not dating right now,

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but you've got stuff surfacing that's heart work,

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come and ask the heart work questions.

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And for you ladies that are dating,

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that are like, oh, I like dating now.

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Don't worry, I'll pull some heart work

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out of that dating stuff for you.

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Don't worry.

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Some of you are like, oh, yay, I get to date the boys now.

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And then I'll be like, no, no, no, wait.

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I got a heart work thing for you.

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All right, so, okay.

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Yes, I got more questions, good, good, good.

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I don't really have a whole lot of housekeeping.

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I'm curious.

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Did Jackie go live on any of her social media

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while we were at the party?

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Did anybody see?

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I don't know.

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I thought she did.

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I just don't know.

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I don't know if anybody got to check it out or not.

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Okay, so some, okay.

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There was something Jackie said on the podcast

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that was really about how people on the apps

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are the dismissive and avoidance.

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Wow, yes.

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And that's where you are and where I'm looking.

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So what I do, oh, that's a really good question, Stephanie.

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That is such a good question.

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I'm needing heart work while I date.

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Yes.

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Girl, that's why we got you here, all right?

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100%, absolutely.

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So yeah, I didn't hear that podcast,

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but I've heard a little bit about it.

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And so I'm just gonna start that with you.

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Was that part of your question

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or do you still have another question, Stephanie?

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That wasn't part of my question,

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but when you mentioned that Jackie has said some stuff

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that you found offensive or like,

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I just chimed in with that comment

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because I had to rewatch it a couple of times

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to like, what is she really trying to say here?

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Like, let me see the silver lining in there.

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But I was like, then why push us to get on apps

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and to put ourselves out there if what you're saying

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is that there's nothing but dismissive

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and avoidance on there?

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Like that was, you know.

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I love it.

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Okay, so when I came in five years ago,

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you wanna know what she used to say?

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And I don't know if she said this on the podcast.

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I need to go back.

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Which podcast was it?

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It was like a, it was, I can't remember,

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but I think it's a man and a woman.

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And it was actually for like 50 plus like singles.

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Yes.

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But she came up, I follow her on social media.

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So it came up on her page and it was on her blog.

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So I went, cause I just caught that like little snippet.

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And I was like, no, I need to listen to the whole thing.

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I'm not over 50, but I need to listen to the whole thing

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because I wanna.

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know what she means? Okay, yes, you definitely need to hear what

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she probably because I know Jackie, yeah, you definitely

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want to hear the whole thing. And I'll, I'm gonna ask you in a

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minute, like, what did you pull from that? But before I ask you

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that, I have to tell you what she used to call it. The apps.

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When I first joined, she used to call it swimming with the sharks.

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I'm like, Jackie, I don't want to go swimming with sharks. Like

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absolutely not for me. Like, why? Why would I want to do

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that? So I get you like, when you say that, it's like, yeah,

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well, why you're like, why? Why do Ebony and Carla constantly

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push us to go on these dating apps? Because I get it. Like,

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you know, we don't enjoy these dating apps. I didn't. So I

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know when I'm sitting here, like, okay, ladies, let's get on

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the dating apps. And I'm like, trying to be as like, happy and

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cheerleading as I possibly can. And you're all like, you're, I

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know, I'm offending you.

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You're feeding me to the shark. So you're, you're, you're

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throwing me in there.

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Yeah, you're like, Carla, like, can I just put my foot up where

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the sun don't shine? Because? Yeah, Carla, it's so easy for

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you to say because you're married. I know y'all are

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thinking that I get it. Because I was thinking that, too. Like,

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yeah, Jack, you're married to David and David is wonderful.

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And you know, you met your husband next door. You didn't

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have to meet him on an app. So I get it. Like, I totally get it.

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So yeah, like, like, why are we doing this if the dismissive and

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avoidance are out there? So I'm curious after listening to her.

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What message did you really? Why do you think she was sharing

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that? Like, what was her overall message? Did you feel?

301
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Um, I really was just like, almost an offhand comment in the

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general thing that she was that she was talking about. And even

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though I went back and like, tried to listen to it again, like

304
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to try to I didn't really come to a real conclusion. Okay, the

305
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only thing that I settled with was, I know she doesn't mean

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that there are just dismissive and avoidance on there, but that

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they're, they are more likely on there, because it's easier to be

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dismissive and avoidant on an application. Right. But in the

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moment, my initial was like, then why are you telling me to

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go there? Because, you know, I felt a little bit also, because

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it's just, I am I am out there. I'm going out with, you know,

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I'm going out with friends, and I'm doing new things. And I'm

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finding hobbies, and I'm doing all the things. But the reality

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is that just socially where we are, and especially at least for

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my age group, it's like people don't talk to each other

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anymore. Like people are not, you know, I could go and be out

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somewhere nice. And a guy might think that, you know, I, he

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might be interested or attracted, but that doesn't mean

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he's gonna, it's just not the way it really works. We're all

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on these. Exactly. We're all on these now. I mean, like, I mean,

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I'm telling you, I mean, because you're in New York. Yeah. I

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mean, I'm sure everyone's like this. Walking everywhere on the

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subway. You're, you're surrounded by hundreds of

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people every day, but nobody's like really interacting. You're

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sitting in a coffee shop and everybody's this. Exactly. I

326
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mean, when I'm 42. So in my 20s, like, yeah, we, we had cell

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phones and stuff, but we didn't have, we didn't have these

328
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iPhones. Even early, early in my dating life, it wasn't like

329
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that. But now it is. So you go to a coffee shop and you were

330
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watching people, you were talking to people, you know, and

331
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so it is, it's this stepping out of your comfort zone. And so I

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do encourage you ladies, like when you are out, like you

333
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don't just have to communicate with people when you're on apps.

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When you go out, interrupt people when they're on their

335
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phones. Do it. I mean, I got to the point, like I used to be

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very, very shy, which this is interesting. While we were on

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retreat, Jackie was talking about like, who, who identifies

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and says they're shy? Is there anybody here that would say I'm

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shy? Anybody? Yeah. I know some people are not on camera. If you

340
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can get on camera, that'd be awesome. I know some people have

341
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their hand raised. So I don't know. I know you have a

342
00:19:41.330 --> 00:19:43.710
question. Okay, Meyer, you're saying you're shy. Okay, I'm

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gonna tell you all what Jackie said. Okay. You want to know

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what she said? Shy is a lie. Shy is a lie. God did not create us

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to be shy. He created us for community. He created us for

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relationship. Okay. Now will it take you some time to maybe warm up to people? Yeah. I mean,

347
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some of us are sitting there telling our whole life story to these strangers. We don't want that.

348
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Okay. But you do need to know, like, what do you, what do you hold and not share with people? Like

349
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you have to have boundaries. Okay. You don't want to share everything, but

350
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you don't have to be like, okay, I can't even just say hello to a person,

351
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say hello to people. And if they don't respond to you, that's them. So get into this mode. Like

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if you identify that I'm shy, once you just start repeating, I'm just, I'm just literally

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repeating what Jackie said, which I believe Holy spirit spoke through her.

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Shy is a lie. So if you are someone, if you're watching on replay that believes that they're

355
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shy, you're going to start saying, no, shy is a lie. I am not shy. You're going to start coming

356
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out of that. Okay. All right. I'm starting to go off on like tangents here. So I'm gonna try to

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get back into center here and kind of go back to, well, since I'm already on here, can I,

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can I share what I want to go back to this, like dismissive and avoidance that are on the apps.

359
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Okay. Cause again, yes, there are people on these apps that are like that. Okay. Ladies,

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it doesn't matter if it's a Christian dating site or a non-Christian dating site. Okay. Cause I see

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this often in lust or accelerator and phase two, everybody wants to know, I want to know

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which Christian app should I join ladies? It doesn't matter if it's a Christian app or

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non-Christian app. I'm going to tell you that right now. There's unhealthy on all of them.

364
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There's Christians and non-Christians on all of them. There are non-Christians on Christian apps

365
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and there's Christians on non-Christian apps. Okay. The biggest key and the biggest takeaway

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and the foundation of doing this successfully is heartwork.

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That's why Jackie talks about that on these podcasts, because what is needed the most

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in this dating world is heartwork. God wants us married, but he wants us healed in him truly.

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That's why we're already, I mean, we already are healed. He wants us to, he wants us to accept

370
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that. Like it's already done. Finished work of the cross is there, but how many of us ever

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actually truly live in that and accept that and take that on? We're all still sitting here

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in our counterfeit and these false identities and sitting here in our lives and our past

373
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traumas and living in these wounds. Okay. We're human. I still do that. I still have

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that. I have to do my healing comes in layers y'all. And so that's, that's why she brings that

375
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up because here's the thing. Yes, you're going to deal with some dismissive and avoidance,

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but the more you lean into this heartwork and you work on yourself and your healing,

377
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and you allow God to come highlight those areas that you need to work on, that he is trying to

378
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to you, you're going to be able to distinguish those dismissive and avoidance

379
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or those anxious attachers. You're going to recognize it and you're going to be able to

380
00:24:10.600 --> 00:24:20.380
work through that. Y'all, I was, when I took the attachment style quiz, the small one,

381
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the one that we get with in the resource thing, I, when I take it, it says I'm anxious attacher.

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Now, when I go to my therapist, she has like the clinical one. That one, when I took several,

383
00:24:40.540 --> 00:24:43.900
if you're going to talk at the beginning of the year, I was like fearful avoidant,

384
00:24:43.900 --> 00:24:55.020
which is like the combination of anxious and avoidant. Okay. So my husband is probably more

385
00:24:55.020 --> 00:24:59.980
on the secure side. So guess what? It doesn't mean you have to be

386
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.620
secure to be in a marriage because then that would have meant that I needed to be secure

387
00:25:05.620 --> 00:25:12.240
before my husband would have met and married me. Y'all, I'm a work in progress.

388
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And yes, my husband can show up very secure, but guess what I'm learning?

389
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He also has certain areas in his life where he won't admit it.

390
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Oh, if you knew I was telling y'all this, you'd probably like, what?

391
00:25:30.300 --> 00:25:34.940
But he knows what my job entails. So he's just, I'm like, sorry, babe, you're, you're along for

392
00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:40.600
the ride. Our marriage, our love story is part of, it's part of my job. It's part of our testimony.

393
00:25:40.780 --> 00:25:46.800
It's part of kingdom. So buckle up buttercup. Um, he's got avoidant tendencies, y'all.

394
00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:58.180
Okay. So I say that is because you are going to find some of those people on these apps,

395
00:25:58.180 --> 00:26:04.520
but it doesn't mean that your spirit mate's not going to have some of those flags.

396
00:26:06.200 --> 00:26:10.540
It's going to be how you respond to them and how they respond to you. And this is

397
00:26:10.540 --> 00:26:15.820
all a work in progress. Okay. Cause marriage is a work in progress. Y'all iron sharpens iron.

398
00:26:16.760 --> 00:26:22.980
I'm telling you marriage is God's maturity plan for mankind. You'll hear Jackie say that a lot.

399
00:26:23.420 --> 00:26:27.640
And I mean, I'm again, I'm no expert on marriage cause I'm only like two years in

400
00:26:28.180 --> 00:26:30.940
I will tell you just in my two years, I will tell you, she ain't lying.

401
00:26:32.300 --> 00:26:39.940
Marriage will mature you. So this is why this, this certain part of your life right now, this

402
00:26:41.280 --> 00:26:47.500
single like stage of your life and being in this community, it really is a preparation period.

403
00:26:47.700 --> 00:26:54.140
We are helping you all get ready for that marriage because it is coming. You're not here

404
00:26:54.140 --> 00:27:00.400
by circumstance. You're here by divine appointment and by purpose because God wants you married.

405
00:27:01.100 --> 00:27:08.180
And there is an anointing and a super natural breakthrough on this community. We have over

406
00:27:09.380 --> 00:27:16.220
1600 marriages and engagements and like matches. And then some, I think like we probably have way

407
00:27:16.220 --> 00:27:22.300
more than that. Okay. Because there's something super natural, there's a supernatural grace on

408
00:27:22.300 --> 00:27:31.780
this and we're entering five years, which is the number of grace. Okay. So it like, there is it,

409
00:27:31.780 --> 00:27:38.860
we're carrying that. Okay. So this is that preparation period. So yes, we're going to

410
00:27:38.860 --> 00:27:43.520
put you on those apps because some of you are going to find your husbands on apps.

411
00:27:44.460 --> 00:27:48.440
You're going to find them in the weirdest ways. And let me tell you in every one of these love

412
00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:55.840
stories. Okay. Obviously I have my own love story. I've seen many of my friends, they've

413
00:27:55.840 --> 00:27:59.920
stepped into their love story and their marriages. I got to, okay. Y'all I've worked with Renee. I

414
00:27:59.920 --> 00:28:06.880
don't know. Y'all I've seen many of the lives, right. Or not the lives, the coaching

415
00:28:07.420 --> 00:28:13.700
trainings, right. For phase two, Renee does a couple of them towards the end. She and I used

416
00:28:13.700 --> 00:28:18.300
to coach in the very beginning when I was starting to coach. Okay. So this is like two years ago when

417
00:28:18.300 --> 00:28:23.820
I started coaching, she was the other coach. Ebony didn't come in until later. I never met

418
00:28:23.820 --> 00:28:31.320
her in person. I finally got to meet her this weekend and she just got married like 12 days ago.

419
00:28:31.620 --> 00:28:36.500
No, 11 days ago, 10 days ago. I don't even remember literally like over like last, not this past week

420
00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:44.500
and the weekend before that. Okay. I've watched her go through a series of guys and she's,

421
00:28:44.500 --> 00:28:47.200
there was a couple that, you know, made it to send this with her,

422
00:28:47.940 --> 00:28:55.060
but they weren't her spirit mate. You know, she had the preparation period and

423
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like it didn't show up the way that she thought it was going to show up, but it showed up way better.

424
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:11.840
So I say that because it's not going to come in the package or the way that you think it's

425
00:29:11.840 --> 00:29:16.800
going to come. So yeah, I know we're like resistant to this. Like, I don't want to online date.

426
00:29:17.420 --> 00:29:24.320
I get it. Some of you, you're right. You're not going to meet your husband on online dating,

427
00:29:24.460 --> 00:29:31.080
but there's a reason that maybe you need to go online and maybe practice, or there's something

428
00:29:31.080 --> 00:29:38.100
that God wants to reveal to you. That's going to prepare you for when he does have your husband

429
00:29:39.620 --> 00:29:49.380
for you. I didn't meet my husband on a dating app, but I did meet him online.

430
00:29:50.040 --> 00:29:57.280
It was actually through this community. And that's another thing, ladies. I want you all to start,

431
00:29:58.220 --> 00:29:59.740
if you're going online,

432
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.080
Look out for your sisters.

433
00:30:04.260 --> 00:30:05.200
Look at it as like, okay,

434
00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:06.760
this guy, I'll go out with him,

435
00:30:06.900 --> 00:30:09.320
maybe he's not for me, but maybe I can scope him

436
00:30:09.320 --> 00:30:11.820
out for one of the other girls that I'm friends with in this community.

437
00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:17.580
You're like, okay, I don't think I'm interested in him,

438
00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:19.060
but maybe you'd be like,

439
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:20.140
I'm not interested in him,

440
00:30:20.180 --> 00:30:21.600
but he looks like a cool guy,

441
00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:22.800
I'll go get to know him,

442
00:30:23.720 --> 00:30:27.120
and maybe he'll be highlighted for one of my friends.

443
00:30:28.740 --> 00:30:32.020
Jackie released that over this weekend,

444
00:30:33.100 --> 00:30:34.120
community-based matchmaking.

445
00:30:34.900 --> 00:30:37.380
That was something that she really wanted to have

446
00:30:37.380 --> 00:30:39.620
take off in this community when we first started.

447
00:30:41.400 --> 00:30:43.000
That happened in my story.

448
00:30:43.320 --> 00:30:45.880
I'm one of the very few I feel like that's happened to.

449
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:48.680
It's happened to a handful of us, but not everybody.

450
00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:55.020
But one of my sisters in this community was looking out on

451
00:30:55.020 --> 00:30:57.440
a Facebook group,

452
00:30:58.280 --> 00:30:59.820
like a single's Facebook group,

453
00:31:00.420 --> 00:31:01.900
and she saw my husband's profile.

454
00:31:01.960 --> 00:31:03.040
She was already dating a guy.

455
00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:05.680
But she saw it, she screenshot all his stuff,

456
00:31:05.700 --> 00:31:06.700
and I was like, here, what do you think?

457
00:31:07.140 --> 00:31:10.840
Many of you have heard this, I feel like I've shared this the last several weeks.

458
00:31:11.500 --> 00:31:15.140
For whatever reason, I think God's just highlighting it for whatever reason,

459
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:17.040
because I was even sharing it this week with a lot of the ladies.

460
00:31:18.900 --> 00:31:23.960
It was different, but it was still in a supernatural way.

461
00:31:24.520 --> 00:31:32.600
And so it's all about being open to what God wants to do in your love story.

462
00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:36.700
So yes, there are going to be those dismissive avoidance,

463
00:31:38.220 --> 00:31:41.600
100%, but once you've worked through some heart work,

464
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:46.100
you're going to respond to those dismissive avoidance,

465
00:31:46.280 --> 00:31:50.220
anxious attachers way differently than you did before,

466
00:31:50.220 --> 00:31:54.420
because you're no longer operating in your counterfeit identity.

467
00:31:54.600 --> 00:31:57.740
You're going to be operating in your authentic God-given identity.

468
00:31:58.740 --> 00:32:00.180
And that's what we do here.

469
00:32:00.600 --> 00:32:02.380
That's why I want you ladies coming,

470
00:32:02.620 --> 00:32:07.300
share with me your dates and share with me what God is revealing to you.

471
00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:08.720
What are you offended by?

472
00:32:09.080 --> 00:32:10.200
Let's go there.

473
00:32:11.640 --> 00:32:14.420
You know, what's triggering that from the past?

474
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:18.880
Let's heal some of those areas so that as you continue to date,

475
00:32:18.880 --> 00:32:20.380
you're going to start approaching things differently.

476
00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:23.480
Y'all, I had to go through this program for two years.

477
00:32:23.560 --> 00:32:24.840
I'm stubborn, y'all.

478
00:32:26.060 --> 00:32:27.940
I'm stubborn and I'm a control freak.

479
00:32:29.140 --> 00:32:32.000
I had to admit that to Jackie this weekend and she looked at me and she's like,

480
00:32:32.080 --> 00:32:34.060
Carla, anybody that knows you, knows you're a control freak.

481
00:32:36.820 --> 00:32:39.420
Like Jackie, I'm like, thanks Jackie.

482
00:32:39.560 --> 00:32:40.840
Thanks for ripping the bandaid off.

483
00:32:40.860 --> 00:32:42.740
You know, I love you, Jackie.

484
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:48.820
And she knows I love her and I know she loves me.

485
00:32:49.520 --> 00:32:53.800
And, you know, obviously we've had five years together and she's had to like

486
00:32:53.800 --> 00:32:58.700
bend me several times and I'm sure I've probably like rubbed her the wrong way

487
00:32:58.700 --> 00:33:00.980
at times because I've been a brat or something.

488
00:33:01.840 --> 00:33:03.780
Let me tell you, like that happens.

489
00:33:04.180 --> 00:33:04.840
But yes.

490
00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:10.480
So, yeah, I know I've talked a lot here, but I think that was a really good

491
00:33:10.900 --> 00:33:16.980
question and for whatever reason, I really do think y'all need to probably

492
00:33:16.980 --> 00:33:19.140
hear that and whoever in replay probably needs to hear that.

493
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:22.860
I hope that releases something over all of you that are

494
00:33:22.860 --> 00:33:24.100
listening in replay as well.

495
00:33:25.180 --> 00:33:27.620
Um, so yeah, heartwork is key.

496
00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:32.800
And just again, release the pen and allow God to write it.

497
00:33:33.120 --> 00:33:40.640
I'm having to release the pen right now in what I thought my blended

498
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:45.200
family needed to look like, because I need to control that too.

499
00:33:46.120 --> 00:33:49.480
I got to help my, I got to help my, my children heal.

500
00:33:49.740 --> 00:33:53.860
You know, my, my, my bonus children, their mother passed away.

501
00:33:55.680 --> 00:33:57.860
There's a lot of hurt and trauma there.

502
00:33:59.640 --> 00:34:04.280
There's a lot of behaviors there that I'm thinking I got to come in here and fix.

503
00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:06.120
These are not healthy behaviors.

504
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:07.680
I got to come in here and I got to fix it.

505
00:34:08.900 --> 00:34:12.380
And y'all, I can't, I'm not Jesus.

506
00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:13.560
I'm not God.

507
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:20.940
Now, can God use me to play a role in their healing?

508
00:34:22.280 --> 00:34:22.900
Absolutely.

509
00:34:23.600 --> 00:34:26.820
That's why I believe God brought my husband and I together, not just for

510
00:34:26.820 --> 00:34:31.480
me and my husband and our healing, but for our kids and their kids.

511
00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:33.679
And then even our families.

512
00:34:36.760 --> 00:34:40.260
So let that be released over all of you.

513
00:34:40.560 --> 00:34:41.199
Okay.

514
00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:50.239
Being open and let that also encourage you that it is okay to be in the tough

515
00:34:51.600 --> 00:34:57.100
space, that you are here in this community to share it with us.

516
00:34:57.540 --> 00:34:59.980
And we are right here with you to walk.

517
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.280
I'll get through with you.

518
00:35:02.640 --> 00:35:03.440
Sound good.

519
00:35:04.980 --> 00:35:05.640
All right, Stephanie.

520
00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:09.780
Shoot me your question, and then I'm going to go backwards.

521
00:35:09.880 --> 00:35:12.120
I'm going to go Mika, Leah, Ashley, and Lori.

522
00:35:12.560 --> 00:35:14.380
Lori, I just love always saving you for last

523
00:35:14.380 --> 00:35:15.960
because yours is always just like,

524
00:35:16.160 --> 00:35:17.220
you always just were my spirit.

525
00:35:17.640 --> 00:35:19.940
But if you have to go and you can't wait till last,

526
00:35:20.940 --> 00:35:23.380
just let me know, and then I won't put you there, OK?

527
00:35:23.380 --> 00:35:26.500
I don't ever want you to say, OK, you can't stay on.

528
00:35:26.500 --> 00:35:30.740
OK, so Stephanie, Lori, Mika, Leah, Ashley, how about that?

529
00:35:31.560 --> 00:35:33.040
Oh wait, yeah, you have a date this afternoon.

530
00:35:33.140 --> 00:35:35.820
Yeah, we definitely need to get you going so you can start

531
00:35:35.820 --> 00:35:37.100
like glamming yourself up, girl.

532
00:35:38.080 --> 00:35:40.040
OK, Stephanie, your question.

533
00:35:40.200 --> 00:35:43.700
I just wanted to share that I got my seventh date.

534
00:35:45.240 --> 00:35:48.400
So yeah, I know if you've been keeping up with myself,

535
00:35:48.620 --> 00:35:50.460
I was feeling super discouraged.

536
00:35:50.660 --> 00:35:52.520
I was matching with a bunch of people

537
00:35:52.520 --> 00:35:53.920
who were kind of far away.

538
00:35:53.920 --> 00:35:58.120
And so I had a couple of three of those seven dates

539
00:35:58.120 --> 00:35:59.540
were video dates.

540
00:35:59.540 --> 00:36:02.940
But one of those led to in-person dates with a guy,

541
00:36:03.620 --> 00:36:06.340
which I went on three in-person dates with.

542
00:36:06.940 --> 00:36:08.460
And the last one was terrible.

543
00:36:08.680 --> 00:36:11.120
And that's where I, thank you, that's

544
00:36:11.120 --> 00:36:16.600
where I had the question about how many dates when you're not

545
00:36:16.600 --> 00:36:20.440
feeling very attracted, because I just kind of had a feeling.

546
00:36:20.500 --> 00:36:23.580
I will say that what I feel that the Lord taught me

547
00:36:23.580 --> 00:36:27.140
in that was to trust my gut.

548
00:36:27.420 --> 00:36:32.340
I feel that part of my heart work was in, I had a,

549
00:36:33.500 --> 00:36:36.120
I believe the lie that it was my fault that I've

550
00:36:36.120 --> 00:36:37.160
been single for so long.

551
00:36:37.740 --> 00:36:41.960
Like it's something that, you know,

552
00:36:41.960 --> 00:36:43.280
that is the lies that I've heard.

553
00:36:43.520 --> 00:36:44.920
Well, you're too picky, or you're too this,

554
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:46.660
or you haven't done that, or you haven't done.

555
00:36:47.460 --> 00:36:50.620
Like I was taking some of that accountability,

556
00:36:50.620 --> 00:36:53.700
but also like just feeling guilt about those things.

557
00:36:53.860 --> 00:36:58.020
And so it drove me to not really to question my instincts.

558
00:36:58.840 --> 00:36:59.020
Yeah.

559
00:36:59.140 --> 00:37:02.420
And so I think that even though the date went really well,

560
00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:04.900
and I felt really relaxed because I could be myself,

561
00:37:05.060 --> 00:37:07.480
there was something that I was like, I'm not sure.

562
00:37:07.600 --> 00:37:09.160
And then I went on two other dates.

563
00:37:09.180 --> 00:37:10.820
And by the third one, it was like, oh, no,

564
00:37:10.820 --> 00:37:12.500
it just fell apart, which the Lord did,

565
00:37:12.640 --> 00:37:15.960
which is great because it just, it needed to go.

566
00:37:16.360 --> 00:37:19.140
And then I was really just feeling like, man,

567
00:37:19.140 --> 00:37:19.860
I need a break.

568
00:37:19.860 --> 00:37:20.980
I'm emotionally spent.

569
00:37:21.240 --> 00:37:23.680
This requires a lot of energy, you know,

570
00:37:23.680 --> 00:37:26.500
to just get to know people and start conversation.

571
00:37:28.140 --> 00:37:29.760
And I had some prayer time.

572
00:37:29.800 --> 00:37:30.840
And I was just like, you know what?

573
00:37:30.980 --> 00:37:32.220
I'm going to give it one more round.

574
00:37:32.300 --> 00:37:34.660
Let's swipe a little longer, and let's see how that goes.

575
00:37:35.040 --> 00:37:36.020
And I did.

576
00:37:36.200 --> 00:37:38.960
So I matched with someone, and he was very quick

577
00:37:38.980 --> 00:37:40.400
to ask for a date right away.

578
00:37:40.540 --> 00:37:42.100
And so we did.

579
00:37:42.220 --> 00:37:44.800
We went on our first date on Sunday,

580
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:48.260
which was my seventh date, which I didn't think

581
00:37:48.260 --> 00:37:49.980
I was going to make by the end of October.

582
00:37:50.080 --> 00:37:50.780
I'm like, forget it.

583
00:37:50.780 --> 00:37:53.220
I'm not going to make this challenge.

584
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:56.700
It's not going to happen because this is not going well.

585
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:58.080
So that's a win.

586
00:37:58.120 --> 00:37:59.220
I have the seventh date.

587
00:37:59.380 --> 00:38:04.800
I also have a second date with this guy on Saturday.

588
00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:07.780
And funnily enough, we were talking,

589
00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:10.400
and when I asked him, like, where he went to church,

590
00:38:11.160 --> 00:38:16.880
turns out that we were both attending and serving

591
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:21.060
at a church when I came to Jesus.

592
00:38:21.720 --> 00:38:22.340
I don't know.

593
00:38:23.400 --> 00:38:26.000
It must have been maybe 12 or 13 years ago.

594
00:38:26.120 --> 00:38:28.900
We were in, like, the same, and we never crossed paths.

595
00:38:29.020 --> 00:38:29.680
Like, never.

596
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:30.700
No.

597
00:38:30.700 --> 00:38:33.720
So we have, like, people in common that we know.

598
00:38:35.080 --> 00:38:38.680
And yeah, so I guess it's the first time

599
00:38:38.680 --> 00:38:40.580
that I feel that it's really tangible

600
00:38:41.160 --> 00:38:43.380
because even though I met him online,

601
00:38:43.820 --> 00:38:46.120
it's like, you're a real person.

602
00:38:46.120 --> 00:38:49.180
Yeah, like, you're a real person.

603
00:38:49.580 --> 00:38:52.100
This feels like, you know, like, flesh and bone.

604
00:38:52.340 --> 00:38:54.820
Like, you're not just a random stranger.

605
00:38:54.880 --> 00:38:57.560
He's still a stranger, and I'm still getting to know him.

606
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:03.220
But he feels more tangible than I felt in the past.

607
00:39:04.020 --> 00:39:06.800
What platform did you find him on?

608
00:39:07.060 --> 00:39:08.400
Facebook dating, actually.

609
00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:10.460
So girls, I'm telling you right now.

610
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:12.160
It's been my favorite one, to be honest.

611
00:39:12.700 --> 00:39:12.980
I'm telling you.

612
00:39:13.220 --> 00:39:13.460
Facebook dating.

613
00:39:13.460 --> 00:39:15.560
I mean, you got to weed through a lot of stuff.

614
00:39:15.560 --> 00:39:18.080
You got to weed through a lot, but I'm telling you,

615
00:39:18.500 --> 00:39:21.080
there was, like, there's just, I just always, like,

616
00:39:21.500 --> 00:39:22.780
I did Facebook dating.

617
00:39:22.940 --> 00:39:24.600
Not that I found my husband on Facebook dating.

618
00:39:24.700 --> 00:39:25.580
Now, he was on Facebook.

619
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:27.660
He was in a Facebook singles Christian group.

620
00:39:28.300 --> 00:39:30.320
Now, I wasn't in the group.

621
00:39:30.620 --> 00:39:33.020
All, like, a handful of the girls from, you know,

622
00:39:33.020 --> 00:39:34.040
last year's single were.

623
00:39:34.740 --> 00:39:37.840
And, you know, but Facebook is, like, where it's at.

624
00:39:37.900 --> 00:39:38.440
I don't know.

625
00:39:38.900 --> 00:39:40.080
Bethany and Matt were just nice.

626
00:39:40.140 --> 00:39:42.760
Three out of the four guys that I've had dates with

627
00:39:42.760 --> 00:39:43.760
have been from Facebook dating.

628
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:45.020
Renee liked Facebook.

629
00:39:45.020 --> 00:39:47.960
I think in the online video,

630
00:39:48.120 --> 00:39:49.760
I think that's the one she was saying,

631
00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:51.520
like, that's the one she had the most success with.

632
00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:53.100
I'm telling you.

633
00:39:54.360 --> 00:39:54.640
Facebook is.

634
00:39:56.220 --> 00:39:57.080
So I would say.

635
00:39:57.080 --> 00:39:58.020
We're still gonna deal with these scammers.

636
00:39:58.320 --> 00:39:59.040
I mean, everywhere.

637
00:39:59.740 --> 00:39:59.920
Like.

638
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:00.800
Totally.

639
00:40:01.060 --> 00:40:02.040
Oh, Lori too.

640
00:40:02.160 --> 00:40:03.280
She met the guy on Facebook.

641
00:40:03.580 --> 00:40:03.980
Yeah.

642
00:40:03.980 --> 00:40:04.780
I'm telling you.

643
00:40:05.020 --> 00:40:09.060
So any of you ladies that are listening and replay are on right now that are always asking

644
00:40:09.440 --> 00:40:12.600
like what, what apps, what apps, what apps, and it's so easy.

645
00:40:12.600 --> 00:40:18.020
Cause it's like, if you already have a Facebook, all you do is kind of start that one and exactly,

646
00:40:18.140 --> 00:40:18.800
I'm telling you.

647
00:40:18.820 --> 00:40:19.820
I mean, and it's free.

648
00:40:20.560 --> 00:40:26.080
And if you're already scrolling on Facebook, I mean, I know, again, maybe that's, maybe

649
00:40:26.080 --> 00:40:27.920
that's just our age bracket.

650
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:32.500
Like, I don't feel like the younger 20 somethings maybe are always on Facebook.

651
00:40:32.740 --> 00:40:33.620
Maybe they're more Instagram.

652
00:40:34.060 --> 00:40:37.800
Y'all, I have an Instagram, but I'm never on it because I'm like the Facebook generation.

653
00:40:38.680 --> 00:40:40.960
Facebook came when I was like starting college.

654
00:40:41.560 --> 00:40:41.880
Okay.

655
00:40:41.940 --> 00:40:43.520
So like Facebook is my jam.

656
00:40:44.280 --> 00:40:49.200
Like I actually, my space was probably more my jam and then Facebook happened.

657
00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:49.640
Right.

658
00:40:52.160 --> 00:40:55.320
But like Facebook, I'm like, Hey, I'm all for it.

659
00:40:55.320 --> 00:40:57.020
I'm on Facebook more than I am on Instagram.

660
00:40:57.020 --> 00:41:03.740
So, um, but yeah, and I, it's, I also like, I mean, you have to weed through a lot, but

661
00:41:03.740 --> 00:41:06.680
because it's Facebook, I feel like there's so many people on there.

662
00:41:06.680 --> 00:41:13.480
So I have like lots of likes, you know, right now they have, like, wow, look how many people

663
00:41:14.560 --> 00:41:16.200
like profile ladies.

664
00:41:16.380 --> 00:41:16.780
It's free.

665
00:41:16.820 --> 00:41:21.280
So you're not really having to spend a lot of money if you're already on Facebook again,

666
00:41:21.340 --> 00:41:26.420
like you can literally just like say, okay, I'm only gonna spend 20 minutes on the Facebook

667
00:41:26.420 --> 00:41:27.140
dating part.

668
00:41:28.340 --> 00:41:31.080
You, and again, it's about creating your own boundaries with it.

669
00:41:31.420 --> 00:41:34.020
I mean, I was, you know, I was a single mom.

670
00:41:34.640 --> 00:41:36.780
I wasn't trying to pay for any of those apps.

671
00:41:37.600 --> 00:41:44.680
I was over it because I did them before, before I had my son and then I was a single mom and

672
00:41:44.680 --> 00:41:46.880
I'm like, I'm not trying to pay for this.

673
00:41:47.020 --> 00:41:48.840
I don't get child support.

674
00:41:49.920 --> 00:41:51.100
I'm not, I don't have money.

675
00:41:51.640 --> 00:41:53.080
Like I got to raise a kid.

676
00:41:53.580 --> 00:41:55.460
So I'm not trying to pay for this.

677
00:41:56.020 --> 00:42:01.080
Especially if like some of these guys aren't paying for these dates, like you always come

678
00:42:01.080 --> 00:42:01.800
prepared to pay.

679
00:42:02.140 --> 00:42:08.960
I mean, you do, you come to prepare for pay, but Jackie had to teach me to not offer to

680
00:42:09.080 --> 00:42:13.960
pay, let the guy offer, but not to always assume that he was and to not be offended

681
00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:14.820
if he didn't.

682
00:42:15.420 --> 00:42:16.600
That's another one.

683
00:42:17.960 --> 00:42:21.020
Like ladies get offended if they don't offer to pay and I'm like, well, I had to learn

684
00:42:21.020 --> 00:42:27.300
to not be offended by it, but I appreciated when they did offer like that was attractive

685
00:42:27.300 --> 00:42:28.000
to me.

686
00:42:28.340 --> 00:42:31.640
And my husband most certainly is that kind of man.

687
00:42:32.600 --> 00:42:38.880
Like he'll hear, you know, stories like that guy made that girl pay.

688
00:42:38.980 --> 00:42:40.200
She needs to drop them.

689
00:42:41.940 --> 00:42:44.100
I'm like, honey, stop.

690
00:42:44.560 --> 00:42:49.760
But just know sometimes you'll hear how these men are on these dates.

691
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:52.980
And let me tell you, like he gets angry for y'all.

692
00:42:54.280 --> 00:43:00.880
So when these men show up like that, he's like, no, men do not need to be treating women

693
00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:01.500
that way.

694
00:43:02.120 --> 00:43:06.820
So I will sometimes get the ear and I get the men's perspective too, because sometimes

695
00:43:06.820 --> 00:43:10.820
I will be like, is this really how men, and he'll be like, absolutely not.

696
00:43:11.260 --> 00:43:15.260
And so that should tell you that there are men out there that are not like that.

697
00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:16.160
Okay.

698
00:43:16.160 --> 00:43:17.500
Not all men are like that.

699
00:43:17.500 --> 00:43:22.340
Um, so yes, men not offering to pay will be a trigger.

700
00:43:22.540 --> 00:43:22.840
Absolutely.

701
00:43:23.100 --> 00:43:28.920
But I will tell you, like, part of that is as well is because there are a lot of women

702
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:35.500
out there that refuse to have a man take care of them because they have their stuff.

703
00:43:35.520 --> 00:43:41.820
And so men have been like beaten down for trying to be these providers.

704
00:43:41.860 --> 00:43:44.960
And naturally that's what God's created them to be.

705
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:50.300
Not always necessarily like a financial provider, but a spiritual provider, like an emotional

706
00:43:50.300 --> 00:43:50.780
provider.

707
00:43:50.860 --> 00:43:53.480
I mean, why do you think women are more emotional than men?

708
00:43:54.600 --> 00:44:00.760
Men are just stronger because, and not as emotional because women need men to lean on

709
00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:06.220
more for emotional support because y'all, us women, especially with all of our hormones,

710
00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:08.380
you know, never know when we're going to explode.

711
00:44:09.520 --> 00:44:13.140
Sometimes we need to lean on a man because he's not going to have the meltdown.

712
00:44:13.140 --> 00:44:14.740
I mean, that's how I am.

713
00:44:14.780 --> 00:44:16.080
Like sometimes I just have the meltdowns.

714
00:44:16.220 --> 00:44:19.740
I just need my husband to be like, honey, let me just go take care of this for you.

715
00:44:20.440 --> 00:44:28.160
So I mean, but when you have these strong women that are like constantly like up against

716
00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:34.260
these men that they can't be masculine, they are just afraid of offending a woman and being

717
00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:34.800
attacked.

718
00:44:35.560 --> 00:44:37.480
So they're afraid to offer.

719
00:44:38.820 --> 00:44:44.660
And then sometimes they're just broke and they're like little mama's boys and they just

720
00:44:44.660 --> 00:44:45.460
want a mama.

721
00:44:45.620 --> 00:44:48.960
Like then, yeah, we won't get those boys to the curb, like for sure.

722
00:44:49.120 --> 00:44:49.520
Okay.

723
00:44:49.780 --> 00:44:55.880
But I'm just saying like, we have to dig a little deeper.

724
00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:59.980
We got to get to know them and really ask the Lord to reveal things.

725
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.760
things to us, that will help us give a better understanding.

726
00:45:02.940 --> 00:45:06.040
Again, that all comes from heartwork and doing our stuff.

727
00:45:06.120 --> 00:45:07.900
And again, being centered on the Lord.

728
00:45:08.020 --> 00:45:09.300
And like, that's what I like what Stephanie said,

729
00:45:09.680 --> 00:45:12.320
like she sat with that one guy, like, okay,

730
00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:14.260
what do you want me to learn from this guy?

731
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:16.860
I went on three dates with this guy and then,

732
00:45:16.860 --> 00:45:20.040
and then God just kind of let it fall apart for her.

733
00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:22.380
And then she learned that, okay,

734
00:45:22.500 --> 00:45:25.440
I was struggling with this because I had to learn that

735
00:45:25.460 --> 00:45:26.920
it's not my fault.

736
00:45:28.560 --> 00:45:29.560
It's not my fault.

737
00:45:30.580 --> 00:45:31.840
I can trust my instincts.

738
00:45:33.620 --> 00:45:35.460
She didn't cut and run after the first, like,

739
00:45:35.460 --> 00:45:37.660
I'm not attracted to this guy, but she gave it three dates.

740
00:45:38.220 --> 00:45:40.620
And then when those three dates, God revealed to her,

741
00:45:40.780 --> 00:45:43.680
like, it's a lie that it's your fault.

742
00:45:45.620 --> 00:45:48.540
And I'm going to show you, this isn't your guy.

743
00:45:48.600 --> 00:45:50.160
And you can trust me with that.

744
00:45:51.200 --> 00:45:52.200
Same thing happened to me.

745
00:45:52.200 --> 00:45:53.400
I went on three dates with this guy,

746
00:45:53.460 --> 00:45:54.360
I had a fourth date with him,

747
00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:55.660
and there's something just wasn't right.

748
00:45:55.660 --> 00:45:59.740
He was super intentional, super, like,

749
00:45:59.740 --> 00:46:01.100
just a really nice guy,

750
00:46:01.420 --> 00:46:03.420
but there was something that just didn't fit.

751
00:46:03.900 --> 00:46:05.040
He was, he was attractive,

752
00:46:05.540 --> 00:46:09.460
but I was not attracted to him physically,

753
00:46:10.620 --> 00:46:12.180
but he was a physically attractive guy.

754
00:46:12.420 --> 00:46:14.500
And then just, there was something about him

755
00:46:14.500 --> 00:46:15.620
that I wasn't attracted to.

756
00:46:15.660 --> 00:46:18.060
And then my husband, I wasn't physically attracted to,

757
00:46:18.780 --> 00:46:21.500
but there was this like spiritual, emotional,

758
00:46:21.820 --> 00:46:24.900
like just this part about him, his heart,

759
00:46:24.900 --> 00:46:27.640
I just was like, oh my goodness,

760
00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:31.600
that just grew me to this physical attraction to my husband.

761
00:46:33.360 --> 00:46:35.940
But that intimacy grew over time.

762
00:46:37.260 --> 00:46:39.480
It wasn't like this, like, ooh,

763
00:46:39.760 --> 00:46:42.000
like can't keep my hands off of him kind of thing.

764
00:46:42.080 --> 00:46:44.400
Like, y'all, we don't want to have,

765
00:46:44.560 --> 00:46:46.040
I mean, yeah, we want that.

766
00:46:46.200 --> 00:46:47.680
Like, trust me, you want that in your husband

767
00:46:47.680 --> 00:46:49.600
and you'll get that, I promise.

768
00:46:50.260 --> 00:46:52.660
But we don't want that in those like first,

769
00:46:53.260 --> 00:46:55.380
like couple of dates, okay?

770
00:46:55.640 --> 00:46:56.720
You don't want that.

771
00:46:56.760 --> 00:46:58.520
Like, I want my hands all over you.

772
00:46:58.780 --> 00:47:00.660
Like, that's a red flag, ladies.

773
00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:02.780
If you're like getting all of that,

774
00:47:02.860 --> 00:47:05.880
like that's a warning sign for you, okay?

775
00:47:06.120 --> 00:47:09.180
And for them, if they're like, hey babe,

776
00:47:10.560 --> 00:47:12.360
like I need to be physical.

777
00:47:12.560 --> 00:47:14.940
I need this, that's how I show love.

778
00:47:14.980 --> 00:47:17.320
Like, I'm a physical touch person.

779
00:47:18.900 --> 00:47:19.780
No, no.

780
00:47:22.180 --> 00:47:25.300
Like, no, there's boundaries, okay?

781
00:47:25.740 --> 00:47:27.460
All right, I know I keep talking and talking,

782
00:47:27.600 --> 00:47:28.700
but I feel like these are all,

783
00:47:29.180 --> 00:47:31.240
hopefully these, I hope y'all are learning something.

784
00:47:31.720 --> 00:47:33.080
I hope this is speaking to you.

785
00:47:33.400 --> 00:47:34.960
And I will wait for all of you

786
00:47:34.960 --> 00:47:36.220
because I know y'all are waiting patiently.

787
00:47:36.540 --> 00:47:37.520
So Lori, I'm going to go to you

788
00:47:37.520 --> 00:47:39.200
because I know you got the date.

789
00:47:39.220 --> 00:47:41.420
And then I'm going to go Mika, Leah, and Ashley.

790
00:47:41.760 --> 00:47:46.260
And then if we have more, we'll see what we can fit in, okay?

791
00:47:46.260 --> 00:47:49.260
Lori, what's your update?

792
00:47:49.460 --> 00:47:50.940
You got a date this afternoon?

793
00:47:51.260 --> 00:47:52.320
We got some breakthrough.

794
00:47:52.620 --> 00:47:53.060
I love it.

795
00:47:53.100 --> 00:47:56.720
Okay, so before I, I'm going to preface this with,

796
00:47:57.760 --> 00:47:59.480
I'm not saying that he's the one.

797
00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:03.100
I'm just noticing things.

798
00:48:03.820 --> 00:48:06.920
And then also we'll say that like,

799
00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:09.360
as much as I want to like,

800
00:48:09.620 --> 00:48:12.080
as much as like when I hear like prophetic words,

801
00:48:12.120 --> 00:48:13.880
sometimes like the playful stuff,

802
00:48:14.400 --> 00:48:16.500
there's something in my heart that's like,

803
00:48:17.080 --> 00:48:18.300
oh brother, yeah, right.

804
00:48:18.860 --> 00:48:21.540
And that's like, so unbelief.

805
00:48:21.920 --> 00:48:26.200
Well, I just went to the bathroom at church

806
00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:28.520
and I found a dime.

807
00:48:30.820 --> 00:48:34.480
And I just like immediately thought of

808
00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:36.020
the turn on the dime prophecy.

809
00:48:36.560 --> 00:48:37.320
Yes.

810
00:48:38.340 --> 00:48:41.700
And so again, I'm, you know,

811
00:48:41.700 --> 00:48:43.840
it was like it awakened something in my heart

812
00:48:43.840 --> 00:48:44.960
that was like, it wasn't,

813
00:48:45.560 --> 00:48:48.240
I mean, I don't know if I see money often or not,

814
00:48:48.260 --> 00:48:50.380
like on the ground, but anyway.

815
00:48:51.120 --> 00:48:56.060
So then I went on Facebook dating.

816
00:48:56.440 --> 00:48:58.060
I have an account on there,

817
00:48:58.120 --> 00:49:00.900
but I honestly, I put it on taking a break most of the time

818
00:49:02.360 --> 00:49:04.020
because it's unedited.

819
00:49:05.020 --> 00:49:06.620
I don't, it's very unedited.

820
00:49:06.740 --> 00:49:08.460
I feel like the page sites are,

821
00:49:09.640 --> 00:49:11.620
my experience has been more edited.

822
00:49:11.920 --> 00:49:16.320
Anyway, met this guy, Jesse, met him last,

823
00:49:17.100 --> 00:49:21.440
like so we connected on Monday evening,

824
00:49:21.520 --> 00:49:22.500
like just matched.

825
00:49:23.460 --> 00:49:23.900
Yeah.

826
00:49:23.900 --> 00:49:27.000
And then we started, I think he sent me something

827
00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:29.320
and then I don't remember the exact thing,

828
00:49:29.360 --> 00:49:33.600
but we like messaged for a long time yesterday

829
00:49:33.600 --> 00:49:35.020
for like a couple hours.

830
00:49:35.620 --> 00:49:36.220
Okay.

831
00:49:36.220 --> 00:49:38.960
And he said, you know, just back and forth,

832
00:49:39.020 --> 00:49:43.040
I was cleaning and then,

833
00:49:43.160 --> 00:49:46.380
and I wouldn't normally like get back to somebody right away,

834
00:49:46.400 --> 00:49:50.840
but it just felt lighthearted and easy.

835
00:49:51.880 --> 00:49:54.300
And so it was fun.

836
00:49:55.060 --> 00:49:57.900
And then he's like, would you like my number

837
00:49:58.080 --> 00:49:59.940
so we can chat sometime?

838
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.800
So, he gave me his number and then he's like, I said, yeah, that sounds good, would love

839
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:08.900
to chat or a video call sometime.

840
00:50:09.120 --> 00:50:11.400
And he said, what are you doing tonight?

841
00:50:11.560 --> 00:50:15.360
So, we had a video chat last night.

842
00:50:15.500 --> 00:50:23.680
So, this is like the day after I got the dime, then match the next day, a video chat last

843
00:50:23.680 --> 00:50:27.480
night and he's like, I'm going to be up in your area tomorrow.

844
00:50:28.440 --> 00:50:32.160
He's like, would you like to meet for an early dinner?

845
00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:39.200
So, this is like, I need to drive an hour south of here because he's, yeah, actually

846
00:50:39.200 --> 00:50:45.880
suddenly the suddenly so, I mean, like to be fair, ladies, like all of a sudden, like

847
00:50:45.880 --> 00:50:49.420
after I've been waiting for like 15 years.

848
00:50:50.560 --> 00:50:56.980
Laurie, do you know that like that word was like over this movement when Jackie first

849
00:50:56.980 --> 00:50:57.800
started the movement?

850
00:50:58.520 --> 00:50:59.280
That's sudden.

851
00:50:59.940 --> 00:51:01.100
Suddenly, the accelerated.

852
00:51:01.600 --> 00:51:02.300
Yeah.

853
00:51:02.300 --> 00:51:07.240
So, yeah, I mean, we've talked just about like high level things, his faith is really

854
00:51:07.240 --> 00:51:08.080
important to him.

855
00:51:08.100 --> 00:51:12.060
He shared what church he's going to, but he's super humble.

856
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:18.280
I feel like just fun, lighthearted, laughs a lot.

857
00:51:19.480 --> 00:51:27.480
He's an architect, so he's, he's actually down in Indiana because he's, has a mom that's

858
00:51:28.160 --> 00:51:29.360
aging and.

859
00:51:29.900 --> 00:51:29.900


860
00:51:29.900 --> 00:51:30.720
I'm from Indiana.

861
00:51:30.880 --> 00:51:32.320
So, he's a good, he's a good guy.

862
00:51:32.780 --> 00:51:33.260
I mean, all people.

863
00:51:33.660 --> 00:51:34.260
Yeah.

864
00:51:34.260 --> 00:51:34.860
Yeah.

865
00:51:34.860 --> 00:51:39.700
But he's also lived in California for a little bit, so we have that in common.

866
00:51:40.140 --> 00:51:41.880
Sarah Sheldon, don't you?

867
00:51:43.060 --> 00:51:47.040
Indiana does have, does seem to have really grounded.

868
00:51:49.660 --> 00:51:49.660


869
00:51:49.860 --> 00:51:50.260
Christian.

870
00:51:50.580 --> 00:51:53.680
Sarah Sheldon, did you get, did you, did someone hurt you from Indiana?

871
00:51:56.040 --> 00:51:56.600
No.

872
00:51:56.660 --> 00:51:56.960
Okay.

873
00:51:57.460 --> 00:51:59.880
Cause I'm going to say, then they're not from Indiana.

874
00:52:00.020 --> 00:52:02.160
We're going to just dispose of them right now.

875
00:52:04.820 --> 00:52:09.120
I see her shaking her head like, yeah, no.

876
00:52:11.700 --> 00:52:12.180
Yeah.

877
00:52:12.820 --> 00:52:18.040
So, and I mean, it's just like, I mean, we talked to, you know, brushed on faith a little

878
00:52:18.040 --> 00:52:18.200
bit.

879
00:52:18.260 --> 00:52:21.980
I just wanted to know if it was a value for him and he says, oh, it's super important

880
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:23.280
to me.

881
00:52:25.640 --> 00:52:28.680
And but we just both love like design.

882
00:52:28.920 --> 00:52:35.680
He's an architect and he's done some incredible projects like, and so just have the interest

883
00:52:35.680 --> 00:52:40.020
of talking, you know, just common interests of talking about design and liking the same

884
00:52:40.020 --> 00:52:40.860
type of design.

885
00:52:41.180 --> 00:52:47.260
And then he's, he's also loves to cook and he makes sourdoughed homemade and just like

886
00:52:47.260 --> 00:52:55.660
all these things that are like literally like, yeah, just so many, cause I love to talk about

887
00:52:55.660 --> 00:52:56.320
creative ideas.

888
00:52:56.780 --> 00:53:00.660
Have so much fun on this date and just enjoy it.

889
00:53:00.660 --> 00:53:05.200
Like enjoy the process and just like discover and like what you like about him.

890
00:53:05.540 --> 00:53:08.420
Like, you know, don't, you don't have to rush it again.

891
00:53:09.260 --> 00:53:12.560
It can be suddenly and accelerated, but it doesn't have to be rushed.

892
00:53:12.900 --> 00:53:13.420
Yeah.

893
00:53:13.420 --> 00:53:14.980
He said he's not in a rush.

894
00:53:15.380 --> 00:53:22.220
He's actually been married twice, once for 14 years and then another time for two years.

895
00:53:22.220 --> 00:53:26.900
And that was over three years ago, but she said that was a dumpster fire.

896
00:53:27.280 --> 00:53:27.800
Okay.

897
00:53:27.800 --> 00:53:30.020
So I'm going to ask that.

898
00:53:30.020 --> 00:53:31.300
I'm going to challenge you.

899
00:53:31.560 --> 00:53:34.480
Don't talk about that on the date.

900
00:53:35.360 --> 00:53:42.940
Yeah, it was, I didn't, I don't remember how that came up, but that's all he said about

901
00:53:42.940 --> 00:53:43.060
it.

902
00:53:43.120 --> 00:53:47.080
I never went into any conversation on it, which I would have stopped him if we would

903
00:53:47.080 --> 00:53:51.660
have say like, if you see him kind of doing that, come up with some ideas before you go

904
00:53:51.660 --> 00:53:53.060
on the day on how you're going to redirect.

905
00:53:53.060 --> 00:53:58.180
I always just say, Hey, I'd love to hear your story, but I'd really like to get to know

906
00:53:58.180 --> 00:53:58.960
who you are.

907
00:53:59.260 --> 00:54:01.880
Like, I'd get like to get to know who you are today.

908
00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:03.880
Yeah, that's good ladies.

909
00:54:04.060 --> 00:54:04.920
Take that advice.

910
00:54:05.380 --> 00:54:05.620
All right.

911
00:54:06.340 --> 00:54:06.520
Right.

912
00:54:06.700 --> 00:54:09.480
And I'd love to hear your story in time.

913
00:54:09.560 --> 00:54:11.400
The guys don't know.

914
00:54:11.940 --> 00:54:13.460
They don't know what they don't know.

915
00:54:13.540 --> 00:54:14.560
They don't have a Jackie.

916
00:54:15.240 --> 00:54:15.680
Yeah.

917
00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:18.880
They don't have a program like, well, there is a program for men.

918
00:54:19.080 --> 00:54:19.520
Okay.

919
00:54:19.840 --> 00:54:21.360
We have a men's program ladies.

920
00:54:22.120 --> 00:54:25.940
So all these guys that y'all go on dates with that are good guys that maybe not your guy,

921
00:54:26.380 --> 00:54:32.480
y'all Matt, bring them to our community, match them with your sisters, community-based matchmaking,

922
00:54:32.720 --> 00:54:33.760
bring them here.

923
00:54:33.860 --> 00:54:36.940
So yeah, just redirect.

924
00:54:37.860 --> 00:54:37.860


925
00:54:37.920 --> 00:54:39.720
So jot that down ladies.

926
00:54:39.760 --> 00:54:43.400
And I felt the Holy Spirit saying, get the dime out and look at the date.

927
00:54:43.400 --> 00:54:48.660
So I looked at the date on it and it was 2010, which is the year I went through my divorce.

928
00:54:49.340 --> 00:54:50.120
And you know what?

929
00:54:50.200 --> 00:54:52.160
When you told me about the dime, you want to know what I thought?

930
00:54:53.020 --> 00:54:53.340
Yeah.

931
00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:59.980
He's a 10, meaning your spirit mate, but then God is saying, well, no, but she's a 10 as

932
00:54:59.980 --> 00:54:59.980


933
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:10.260
well. Thank you for your 10. So I love that it was 2010. Oh,

934
00:55:10.500 --> 00:55:17.020
and you know, five plus five is 10. Grace. So you and your

935
00:55:17.020 --> 00:55:21.120
husband five, five, 10. Grace. I got goosebumps on that one.

936
00:55:21.380 --> 00:55:24.800
Holy. Thank you, Jesus. And he doesn't have any he doesn't have

937
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:31.180
any kids, which honestly, I like that. Yeah, it's always I've

938
00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:38.180
never. I mean, I think merging two families is definitely an

939
00:55:38.180 --> 00:55:43.560
art. I, I was under leadership with a couple like a date for

940
00:55:43.560 --> 00:55:46.780
dating, a dating thing when I was in Reading, and they merged

941
00:55:46.780 --> 00:55:54.780
and they did it. It was beautiful. Oh, yeah, y'all

942
00:55:55.620 --> 00:55:56.120
which is

943
00:55:57.360 --> 00:55:59.980
like older children, younger children, all that. So I mean,

944
00:56:00.060 --> 00:56:04.000
yeah, even blending in laws is not the easiest thing. I mean,

945
00:56:04.000 --> 00:56:07.900
it just really isn't like, blending up two people together.

946
00:56:07.900 --> 00:56:12.820
Like y'all were female and male, like, masculine feminine is hard

947
00:56:13.280 --> 00:56:19.120
to blend. Yeah. Like, blending is hard. Yeah. Oh, I don't feel

948
00:56:19.120 --> 00:56:23.140
like I've got like, I don't have a lot of winter clothes or a lot

949
00:56:23.140 --> 00:56:26.980
of like, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like a 24 hour date. I'm so

950
00:56:26.980 --> 00:56:29.760
thankful that I felt the Holy Spirit. I'm going to get my

951
00:56:29.800 --> 00:56:32.600
nails done. It was a couple of weeks ago, but they still look

952
00:56:32.600 --> 00:56:38.400
quite good. And I mean, other than one that came off a little

953
00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:43.240
bit because of the band aid, but, but I was just like, it

954
00:56:43.240 --> 00:56:47.660
just made me like it's still it still looks like 99%. There you

955
00:56:47.660 --> 00:56:52.400
go. Perfect. But yeah, just like, I'm like, man, I'm not

956
00:56:52.400 --> 00:57:02.580
like a, a dating clothes person. Like, I'm pretty simple. So

957
00:57:03.640 --> 00:57:10.360
like, wearing like, just go have fun. Yeah. And then update us in

958
00:57:10.360 --> 00:57:15.800
the app how it went. Yeah. Let us know how it went. Yeah. I

959
00:57:15.800 --> 00:57:18.660
bought summer dresses and I have one fall dress, but it's not

960
00:57:18.660 --> 00:57:23.840
very, it's not very fitted. Okay. So yeah, we'll go get

961
00:57:24.100 --> 00:57:30.200
ready. Yeah. Ready? Does it matter if it's fitted? No, no.

962
00:57:30.680 --> 00:57:33.860
Okay. How do you like, obviously you bought it because you liked

963
00:57:33.860 --> 00:57:37.200
it. You thought you look cute in it. Right? Yeah. So where do you

964
00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:41.400
think? Yeah, yeah. I have a couple couple things. But yeah,

965
00:57:41.400 --> 00:57:45.540
go try a few things on go like look in the mirror. See what's

966
00:57:45.600 --> 00:57:50.180
highlighted to you. All right. Take a take a picture and post

967
00:57:50.180 --> 00:57:56.360
it in the app. So we see what I'm so not the person that's

968
00:57:56.360 --> 00:58:00.280
like wearing high heels and Oh, you don't have to. You don't

969
00:58:00.280 --> 00:58:04.420
have to wear tennis shoes. Yes. You can wear what you want girl

970
00:58:04.420 --> 00:58:07.520
whatever you look and feel good in Okay, but I want I'm giving

971
00:58:07.520 --> 00:58:11.560
you homework as I want to see what you look like. Okay. So

972
00:58:11.560 --> 00:58:16.160
that's, that's, um, that's your homework because I need to do

973
00:58:16.160 --> 00:58:20.280
some more shopping too. And then I want an update on your day in

974
00:58:20.280 --> 00:58:24.000
the app. Okay. Okay. All these ladies are gonna be trying to

975
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:26.340
figure it out too. Like they're gonna want to know as well.

976
00:58:27.480 --> 00:58:31.720
Yeah. And you're gonna give them encouragement. And that's just

977
00:58:31.720 --> 00:58:34.520
gonna start it's gonna start something in our in our face.

978
00:58:34.740 --> 00:58:36.920
Ladies. That's what we used to do in my face all the time we

979
00:58:36.920 --> 00:58:39.900
used to I mean, y'all I would like post like three or four

980
00:58:39.900 --> 00:58:43.520
times a day. Yeah. I mean, we were a much smaller community

981
00:58:43.520 --> 00:58:47.020
then. But honestly, like our phase, like our phase two is

982
00:58:47.140 --> 00:58:51.180
like, the size of what the whole community was at the time that I

983
00:58:51.180 --> 00:58:55.800
was when I joined five years. Oh, wow. So yeah. And then that

984
00:58:55.800 --> 00:58:58.960
other guy rematch that I was talking to, like, I haven't

985
00:58:58.960 --> 00:59:04.300
messaged for a couple days. He was traveling and has his

986
00:59:04.320 --> 00:59:10.840
interview today and tomorrow. Yeah. Never felt this sort of

987
00:59:10.840 --> 00:59:14.280
connection, but just kept on. Yeah, you just keep it there.

988
00:59:14.280 --> 00:59:16.760
Remember, you're level two. We're just feeling things out.

989
00:59:17.680 --> 00:59:23.060
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, and this guy's name is Jesse and

990
00:59:23.100 --> 00:59:26.640
he's, he's handsome. He's definitely not drop dead

991
00:59:26.640 --> 00:59:30.240
gorgeous, but his spirit makes him that way. Girl, that was my

992
00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:36.080
husband. Yeah. I mean, I think my husband is like, very

993
00:59:36.080 --> 00:59:39.860
attractive. But yeah, at first, it was his spirit. It was his

994
00:59:39.860 --> 00:59:44.640
heart. It was like, yeah, character. And his personality.

995
00:59:45.180 --> 00:59:50.200
Exactly. He's like, so comfortable with himself. So

996
00:59:50.200 --> 00:59:54.700
just like, yeah, listen to that, ladies. Okay, not be physically

997
00:59:54.700 --> 00:59:59.860
attracted to them at first. Okay. But that is not all a

998
00:59:59.860 --> 00:59:59.980
really

999
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.420
relationship and a marriage and intimacy is built on.

1000
01:00:03.620 --> 01:00:05.380
It is not all physical attraction.

1001
01:00:05.400 --> 01:00:08.220
It's his expressions and his laugh

1002
01:00:09.320 --> 01:00:13.240
and just the way he sees life and yeah.

1003
01:00:14.720 --> 01:00:17.000
All right, girl, I'm forcing you off

1004
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:18.460
so that you can go get ready.

1005
01:00:18.480 --> 01:00:19.460
I do need to go get ready.

1006
01:00:19.500 --> 01:00:21.940
Yes, and I've got to take three more ladies here

1007
01:00:21.940 --> 01:00:24.500
and it's already 10 after and I-

1008
01:00:24.500 --> 01:00:24.540
Thank you.

1009
01:00:24.820 --> 01:00:27.680
I'm gonna go over, so y'all know I always go over

1010
01:00:27.680 --> 01:00:29.220
because I'm never short, brief and powerful

1011
01:00:29.220 --> 01:00:31.340
even though I asked you all to be.

1012
01:00:31.640 --> 01:00:32.960
I had to tell Jackie that this week

1013
01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:35.080
and I'm like, I'm never short, brief and powerful.

1014
01:00:35.180 --> 01:00:36.540
Like, I hope you don't mind that.

1015
01:00:37.040 --> 01:00:38.060
She knows me though.

1016
01:00:39.100 --> 01:00:39.900
So-

1017
01:00:39.900 --> 01:00:40.560
Lots of wisdom.

1018
01:00:41.900 --> 01:00:42.700
I try.

1019
01:00:43.680 --> 01:00:44.860
Yeah, thank you.

1020
01:00:45.420 --> 01:00:46.420
All right, Lori, have fun.

1021
01:00:46.840 --> 01:00:47.040
Post a pic.

1022
01:00:47.060 --> 01:00:48.160
Thank you, I will.

1023
01:00:48.680 --> 01:00:50.260
All right, Mika, you're up next, girl.

1024
01:00:51.160 --> 01:00:53.320
Okay, just to know why I have my video off

1025
01:00:53.320 --> 01:00:54.660
because I'm doing a little self-care

1026
01:00:54.660 --> 01:00:56.680
getting the eyebrows done, of course.

1027
01:00:56.720 --> 01:00:58.180
Yeah, girl, you got to keep it dainty.

1028
01:00:58.180 --> 01:01:01.660
Dainty, I'm all about feeling dainty in this season.

1029
01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:05.260
So good news is, good report is,

1030
01:01:05.300 --> 01:01:09.900
I went to an event through Singles Hub.

1031
01:01:10.340 --> 01:01:11.420
They have like, apparently,

1032
01:01:11.680 --> 01:01:12.820
some of you may have known about,

1033
01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:15.120
they have like all of these different little

1034
01:01:15.260 --> 01:01:18.640
Christian single get togethers, like all over.

1035
01:01:19.040 --> 01:01:21.780
And so, yeah, and I found them through Salt,

1036
01:01:22.220 --> 01:01:25.980
which is an online dating app that I was on

1037
01:01:25.980 --> 01:01:29.980
before I went through the heart healing, heart work stuff.

1038
01:01:30.500 --> 01:01:34.020
So I felt like, I really love how you guys

1039
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:37.280
are challenging us to just not go in,

1040
01:01:37.600 --> 01:01:39.460
like to just go in with the experience.

1041
01:01:39.700 --> 01:01:40.520
So I did that.

1042
01:01:40.560 --> 01:01:44.640
It was like, I'm just getting to know my brothers in Christ

1043
01:01:44.640 --> 01:01:45.900
and other sisters in Christ.

1044
01:01:45.920 --> 01:01:47.180
And I had a wonderful time.

1045
01:01:47.340 --> 01:01:50.280
We had breakfast in the morning at this diner.

1046
01:01:50.400 --> 01:01:52.800
And then the girl that was facilitating,

1047
01:01:52.800 --> 01:01:57.900
leaving the group, she actually, because she loves animals,

1048
01:01:58.060 --> 01:02:02.120
she actually had us go to a rescue animal shelter

1049
01:02:02.620 --> 01:02:05.080
that was basically a little farm that,

1050
01:02:05.100 --> 01:02:08.900
you know, we fed the cows and goats

1051
01:02:09.220 --> 01:02:11.840
and had a chance to just interact with each other.

1052
01:02:11.840 --> 01:02:13.460
And what I found for myself,

1053
01:02:13.480 --> 01:02:15.160
I was just kind of just interacting,

1054
01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:21.120
is that I can sometimes lean more toward being serious.

1055
01:02:21.120 --> 01:02:26.060
And I think a goal that I have for myself is to laugh more

1056
01:02:26.060 --> 01:02:29.660
and just be light, you know, not with the intention,

1057
01:02:29.900 --> 01:02:33.520
just with this idea of allowing my life to be full.

1058
01:02:33.820 --> 01:02:35.100
You know, I feel like I do have,

1059
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:36.480
I bring a lot to the table

1060
01:02:36.480 --> 01:02:38.440
and I feel like it doesn't always come out.

1061
01:02:39.720 --> 01:02:41.020
Even with my regular friends,

1062
01:02:41.020 --> 01:02:43.460
I feel like I'm kind of like, I've been like a burden bearer.

1063
01:02:43.460 --> 01:02:44.680
I am a burden bearer.

1064
01:02:44.680 --> 01:02:47.080
And I do also have the gift of counsel,

1065
01:02:47.080 --> 01:02:51.300
but sometimes a trade-off with that is,

1066
01:02:51.760 --> 01:02:55.400
is that you can kind of lean toward being heavy

1067
01:02:55.400 --> 01:02:57.520
and always looking to kind of rescue people.

1068
01:02:57.520 --> 01:02:59.140
Like sometimes our gifts can get overextended.

1069
01:02:59.680 --> 01:03:00.560
Yeah, and I'm definitely,

1070
01:03:00.760 --> 01:03:01.700
I didn't realize even what that was.

1071
01:03:01.740 --> 01:03:03.520
I'm the same way, like sometimes I feel like

1072
01:03:03.520 --> 01:03:05.000
I'm just sometimes too much for people.

1073
01:03:05.580 --> 01:03:07.760
Yeah, I've even had one of my good friends

1074
01:03:07.760 --> 01:03:09.800
of a long time to actually tell me,

1075
01:03:09.800 --> 01:03:11.920
she's like, Mika, sometimes it's just too much.

1076
01:03:12.060 --> 01:03:15.020
And initially it stung, but I'm glad she told me,

1077
01:03:15.020 --> 01:03:16.800
it was like, oh, okay.

1078
01:03:18.500 --> 01:03:22.900
And so I just want to, so I guess my question is,

1079
01:03:23.900 --> 01:03:26.900
I liked, I was listening to one of the replays about like,

1080
01:03:27.020 --> 01:03:30.720
just doing random things that are like,

1081
01:03:31.880 --> 01:03:34.380
maybe smiling at a child in a backseat

1082
01:03:34.420 --> 01:03:37.640
or things like that, like those types of activations,

1083
01:03:38.060 --> 01:03:39.760
just making eye contact with people.

1084
01:03:39.880 --> 01:03:41.720
But what are some ways that,

1085
01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:43.840
I think another part of the heart work,

1086
01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:45.140
I'm also one of those people I like,

1087
01:03:45.200 --> 01:03:48.180
I enjoy the heart work, so I want you to keep doing it.

1088
01:03:48.280 --> 01:03:49.320
So I miss the hard work.

1089
01:03:50.600 --> 01:03:54.600
I was raised to not trust people,

1090
01:03:54.880 --> 01:03:56.840
not really, only trust your immediate family

1091
01:03:57.300 --> 01:04:02.340
and don't really share, keep your stuff in your family,

1092
01:04:03.240 --> 01:04:06.460
Southern background, even though I was raised in New York,

1093
01:04:07.160 --> 01:04:08.780
my mom and my dad are both from the South.

1094
01:04:08.840 --> 01:04:11.220
So this idea of not trusting was constantly,

1095
01:04:11.220 --> 01:04:12.180
and I can even see it in,

1096
01:04:13.020 --> 01:04:14.320
I still didn't see it in my brother,

1097
01:04:14.420 --> 01:04:15.980
but I can especially see it in myself

1098
01:04:15.980 --> 01:04:18.000
after doing the hard work that like,

1099
01:04:18.360 --> 01:04:19.500
it's hard for me to trust.

1100
01:04:19.800 --> 01:04:22.140
And especially because I'm like a burner mirror

1101
01:04:22.140 --> 01:04:24.380
and you hear so much stuff and you're like,

1102
01:04:25.240 --> 01:04:27.200
even though I purposely, I've done a lot of work,

1103
01:04:27.340 --> 01:04:29.720
but in terms of not necessarily believing the negative,

1104
01:04:30.820 --> 01:04:33.940
but I guess I think like, what are some tips

1105
01:04:33.940 --> 01:04:36.100
or ways that you work through it

1106
01:04:36.340 --> 01:04:39.320
as someone who is constantly hearing people's stuff

1107
01:04:39.320 --> 01:04:42.240
and being present and caring for others

1108
01:04:42.520 --> 01:04:47.740
and being in that place of empathy to keep yourself light?

1109
01:04:48.380 --> 01:04:50.060
I know this idea of giving it to Jesus,

1110
01:04:50.380 --> 01:04:53.180
laying at his feet, you know, like all that stuff.

1111
01:04:53.460 --> 01:04:55.580
I mean, yeah, we can say that to our blur in our face

1112
01:04:55.580 --> 01:04:58.660
and it's, but it's so much, it's not as easy as we,

1113
01:04:59.320 --> 01:04:59.980
as it's easier said than done.

1114
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.060
said than done. Like, right? Yeah. This is a really good question. Um, a lot of things

1115
01:05:06.060 --> 01:05:12.020
are coming up, um, while you're talking. So if I go off topic, just bear with me here.

1116
01:05:12.040 --> 01:05:19.400
Okay. Um, cause again, I'm just with ladies. And for those of you that are maybe in, in

1117
01:05:19.400 --> 01:05:23.400
ladies, probably we're going to be watching this and replay when y'all are coming on these

1118
01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:28.860
lines, I take notes because I'm listening to y'all. And sometimes I want to make sure

1119
01:05:28.860 --> 01:05:32.500
like when I'm hearing from Holy spirit, I'm keeping notes so that I'm still listening

1120
01:05:32.500 --> 01:05:37.260
to y'all. Um, so don't ever think that I'm not like paying attention, that I'm distracted.

1121
01:05:37.320 --> 01:05:42.260
I'm, I'm literally just writing things down that you all are saying that. And then also

1122
01:05:42.260 --> 01:05:48.380
what Holy spirit is speaking to me. So with that being said, um, so that is a good question.

1123
01:05:48.520 --> 01:05:57.620
Like what are some ways that I basically like, how do I balance that part of that gift of

1124
01:05:57.620 --> 01:06:02.760
when you are, when you do have those giftings and you do hear, and you kind of bear some

1125
01:06:02.760 --> 01:06:07.540
of people's burdens and you, you hear all of these stories and, and how, like, are you

1126
01:06:07.540 --> 01:06:12.040
asking like, how do you not allow that to kind of get you to a point where you're not

1127
01:06:12.040 --> 01:06:17.320
draining yourself, but you can actually go out and enjoy life where you don't have to

1128
01:06:17.320 --> 01:06:22.880
be as serious? Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking because people are experiencing a wall

1129
01:06:22.880 --> 01:06:27.440
because I think I'm kind of, I think sometimes they're experienced, I'm not giving them enough

1130
01:06:27.880 --> 01:06:32.380
line, I guess. And one of the replays, one of you guys were talking about, you know,

1131
01:06:32.420 --> 01:06:37.400
even if it's not a good experience, give them, let people be who they are, you know? Yeah.

1132
01:06:37.980 --> 01:06:42.700
Ebony, I think always talks about that, just allowing people to be who they are. She's

1133
01:06:42.700 --> 01:06:48.260
so good. Like, she's so good. I love listening to her replays cause she's so good. Um,

1134
01:06:48.280 --> 01:06:53.320
yeah, like, but that's the correct, yes. You summed it up perfectly. Yeah. So, and then

1135
01:06:53.320 --> 01:06:59.080
would you, would you say that you, do you like, do you, would you say you're a feeler?

1136
01:06:59.760 --> 01:07:07.240
I am. Wow. How'd you know? Yes. Because I'm the same way. Yes. I can relate to.

1137
01:07:08.440 --> 01:07:13.940
And again, like I think I, and I operate, I think sometimes in that same way where

1138
01:07:16.240 --> 01:07:23.300
I'm serious because I'm, I'm feeling a lot from other people. So I'm always showing up as this

1139
01:07:23.320 --> 01:07:34.520
person with empathy and like wanting to help people that yes, like not being fun or like my,

1140
01:07:35.220 --> 01:07:40.040
my husband always jokes with me. Like he, I always call him a weirdo because he is a weirdo

1141
01:07:41.260 --> 01:07:45.260
and he's always joking and laughing. And I'm like, can you just be serious?

1142
01:07:46.280 --> 01:07:51.620
But he's like the fun outgoing, like not as serious. And I am, and he's always like,

1143
01:07:51.620 --> 01:07:56.220
you need to loosen up. Like God knew you needed someone in your life to loosen you up,

1144
01:07:56.440 --> 01:08:01.580
but it's because I am like, I feel things. And so I am always doing that. So it's like,

1145
01:08:01.580 --> 01:08:05.860
we kind of counterbalance each other. So I do understand what you're saying. And so,

1146
01:08:06.320 --> 01:08:12.800
yeah. I think the fact that you recognize that is one, the first step

1147
01:08:14.380 --> 01:08:23.140
when God gives you the ability to, to have the awareness that will help you tremendously.

1148
01:08:24.040 --> 01:08:29.640
And so just again, seeking the Lord is just like, Lord, when I am operating too much in my gift,

1149
01:08:30.700 --> 01:08:39.060
asking him to reveal that in ways that you will, where he will get your attention.

1150
01:08:40.240 --> 01:08:49.260
And so, and then like you said, you are making an intention to laugh more.

1151
01:08:51.380 --> 01:08:55.020
So hold yourself accountable to that.

1152
01:08:55.080 --> 01:08:59.420
What are some ways that you are going to be intentional with laughing more?

1153
01:08:59.700 --> 01:09:06.160
What are some activities? And again, in your prayer time, what are some things

1154
01:09:06.660 --> 01:09:10.880
lighthearted that you've always wanted to do that God has just placed in your heart to do?

1155
01:09:13.740 --> 01:09:17.080
I like to roll down a hill of snow.

1156
01:09:18.120 --> 01:09:21.500
I couldn't hear that. I think I heard something about snow. It kind of cut out a little bit.

1157
01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:28.319
I would like to roll down a hill of snow. It was so fun when I was a kid.

1158
01:09:28.520 --> 01:09:29.319
Where do you live?

1159
01:09:29.319 --> 01:09:31.460
Yeah. But

1160
01:09:31.460 --> 01:09:31.939
Where do you live?

1161
01:09:32.120 --> 01:09:33.479
I live in New Jersey.

1162
01:09:33.880 --> 01:09:34.760
New Jersey. Okay.

1163
01:09:34.760 --> 01:09:36.520
Princeton Junction, New Jersey.

1164
01:09:39.600 --> 01:09:43.260
Okay. Are you part of the Jersey single city group?

1165
01:09:47.420 --> 01:09:51.700
I am not yet. I don't think I am yet.

1166
01:09:52.279 --> 01:09:55.100
Okay. I want you to go on the resource page because there was a lot of girls from Jersey

1167
01:09:55.100 --> 01:09:58.420
that I met at the five-year party and they are a lot of fun.

1168
01:09:59.500 --> 01:09:59.900
Okay.

1169
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.720
I want you connecting with those girls.

1170
01:10:03.940 --> 01:10:04.780
Jersey and New York.

1171
01:10:05.180 --> 01:10:06.720
I think Stephanie,

1172
01:10:07.480 --> 01:10:10.540
are you in the New York single city?

1173
01:10:13.960 --> 01:10:15.780
I know she took her camera off,

1174
01:10:16.640 --> 01:10:19.160
but Stephanie NYC and then Stephanie Davis.

1175
01:10:19.760 --> 01:10:21.500
Ladies, I want you to get in those single cities.

1176
01:10:21.640 --> 01:10:23.600
They're on Facebook, but in

1177
01:10:23.600 --> 01:10:26.360
the resource tab of our app, you will have access.

1178
01:10:27.300 --> 01:10:28.500
You just got to click on it.

1179
01:10:28.500 --> 01:10:30.760
I think I did join.

1180
01:10:31.620 --> 01:10:33.100
Okay. Yeah, definitely check that out.

1181
01:10:33.200 --> 01:10:34.960
I only know because there was a lot of Jersey girls,

1182
01:10:35.880 --> 01:10:39.600
handful of them at the retreat and at the party.

1183
01:10:40.960 --> 01:10:45.300
I do want to get in the-

1184
01:10:48.400 --> 01:10:48.720
Yeah.

1185
01:10:48.720 --> 01:10:48.720


1186
01:10:51.800 --> 01:10:53.780
So get with some of those girls

1187
01:10:53.780 --> 01:10:55.680
because I will tell you are going to have a good time with them.

1188
01:10:55.780 --> 01:10:57.060
I had a good time with them at the party.

1189
01:10:59.340 --> 01:11:02.360
So I like that you're being intentional with that.

1190
01:11:02.720 --> 01:11:05.040
Laugh more, doing more things like that.

1191
01:11:05.200 --> 01:11:09.300
Again, just the fact that God is making you aware of like,

1192
01:11:09.300 --> 01:11:13.740
hey, I'm overextending this gift of mine.

1193
01:11:14.460 --> 01:11:15.680
That's going to be huge.

1194
01:11:16.240 --> 01:11:17.740
Again, just seeking him saying,

1195
01:11:18.220 --> 01:11:21.900
Lord, I need you to literally almost slap me in

1196
01:11:21.900 --> 01:11:25.640
the face so that I recognize when I'm doing it.

1197
01:11:27.260 --> 01:11:29.580
Give you that awareness when you're doing it.

1198
01:11:29.600 --> 01:11:32.180
Then that will help because that's what I have to do.

1199
01:11:33.340 --> 01:11:34.540
I really have to do that.

1200
01:11:35.380 --> 01:11:37.640
But so hopefully that answers your question.

1201
01:11:38.300 --> 01:11:40.900
But some things that were coming up to me,

1202
01:11:41.760 --> 01:11:43.080
the Holy Spirit, and I'm just asking you,

1203
01:11:43.160 --> 01:11:45.120
these are, again, you don't have to have the answers to these.

1204
01:11:45.680 --> 01:11:49.160
These are just things I feel like God is wanting me to share with you.

1205
01:11:52.320 --> 01:11:52.760
Okay.

1206
01:11:53.720 --> 01:11:57.520
Your Southern background is like all of this stuff

1207
01:11:58.100 --> 01:12:01.020
that you're talking about this burden barrier and all that kind of stuff.

1208
01:12:02.660 --> 01:12:05.860
Have you taken a look at your generational background?

1209
01:12:09.660 --> 01:12:11.140
Yes, I have.

1210
01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:18.960
Okay. Is there any unhealed trauma from maybe not you,

1211
01:12:19.040 --> 01:12:21.600
but maybe in your generational background that

1212
01:12:21.600 --> 01:12:25.260
maybe God is going to highlight to you or has

1213
01:12:25.260 --> 01:12:30.560
highlighted to you that he wants you to heal from or to break off?

1214
01:12:32.520 --> 01:12:34.660
I'm going to pray. I can pray into that.

1215
01:12:34.980 --> 01:12:36.100
Thank you. That's a huge question.

1216
01:12:36.640 --> 01:12:40.360
Yeah. I don't know that literally the word generational came up,

1217
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:45.680
and so that's the only thing that's speaking to me about that.

1218
01:12:46.320 --> 01:12:47.280
So pray into that.

1219
01:12:48.480 --> 01:12:49.880
What does your name mean?

1220
01:12:50.920 --> 01:12:53.740
It means gentleness, kindness,

1221
01:12:53.920 --> 01:12:56.220
and I respond to who God says I am.

1222
01:12:56.720 --> 01:12:59.740
Yes. Okay. I had a feeling because obviously,

1223
01:12:59.760 --> 01:13:03.240
I see the word meek, and you were like,

1224
01:13:03.320 --> 01:13:07.540
I'm serious, and you're not as fun, right?

1225
01:13:07.540 --> 01:13:10.460
But I'm sitting here thinking that's not who she is.

1226
01:13:11.760 --> 01:13:15.960
You're sitting here and identifying with this part of you that's not you.

1227
01:13:17.800 --> 01:13:19.220
That's a good point too,

1228
01:13:19.240 --> 01:13:22.000
because I have other friends that say the opposite of that one friend,

1229
01:13:22.180 --> 01:13:27.000
but I guess it just echoes in my head with regards to not being in a relationship.

1230
01:13:27.560 --> 01:13:29.860
I feel like I'm good at making friends,

1231
01:13:30.420 --> 01:13:32.460
and I'm definitely a people person,

1232
01:13:34.100 --> 01:13:35.920
but I think just recently.

1233
01:13:36.620 --> 01:13:38.420
Because you've maybe overextended this gift,

1234
01:13:40.380 --> 01:13:43.520
that you're operating now in this counterfeit part.

1235
01:13:44.520 --> 01:13:48.480
I relate to this because I've been this way as well.

1236
01:13:49.140 --> 01:13:51.200
I've had such a strong gift of discernment,

1237
01:13:51.480 --> 01:13:55.000
and empathy, and feeling since I was really young,

1238
01:13:55.480 --> 01:13:57.380
and I wasn't a believer.

1239
01:13:57.800 --> 01:14:02.180
I mean, I didn't come up in a background like my family was not big believers,

1240
01:14:02.580 --> 01:14:06.120
but I always had this strong gift of discernment,

1241
01:14:07.320 --> 01:14:10.200
and just empathy, and feeling for people.

1242
01:14:11.840 --> 01:14:16.320
The enemy knew that, and saw that,

1243
01:14:16.880 --> 01:14:21.940
and even though I didn't have a family that I grew up with that was close to the Lord,

1244
01:14:24.080 --> 01:14:25.400
he knew my path.

1245
01:14:26.200 --> 01:14:28.260
He knew what God was going to do in my life.

1246
01:14:29.860 --> 01:14:32.260
He created these lies about me,

1247
01:14:32.780 --> 01:14:35.280
that I believed that being too much,

1248
01:14:35.340 --> 01:14:37.240
or not enough, not being worth enough,

1249
01:14:37.240 --> 01:14:40.220
and that this gift got overextended,

1250
01:14:41.400 --> 01:14:45.460
and then made me to start believe this lie that then I stopped using that gift.

1251
01:14:48.360 --> 01:14:55.940
And so, I can't help but wonder if this belief that you're so serious,

1252
01:14:57.560 --> 01:14:59.980
and that maybe it's causing you to believe that you're not worthy of this gift,

1253
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.100
causing you to feel like you're not something because of this is really actually a lie that

1254
01:15:07.100 --> 01:15:09.920
the enemy is wanting you to believe because you do have this gift.

1255
01:15:10.220 --> 01:15:16.320
He's just trying to get you so distracted from it to help, like not wanting you to operate

1256
01:15:16.320 --> 01:15:22.180
in it and to take you away from actually what your true identity is, which he, you do have

1257
01:15:22.180 --> 01:15:28.020
that gifting, but now he's wanting you to focus on that and that's who you are, but

1258
01:15:28.020 --> 01:15:36.740
it's actually not who you are, it's a gift, but you are kind, you are gentle, you aren't

1259
01:15:36.860 --> 01:15:37.420
serious.

1260
01:15:37.520 --> 01:15:39.480
Like, do you have a serious side to you?

1261
01:15:40.020 --> 01:15:45.740
Well, yeah, we all can have a serious side to us, but who, who are you?

1262
01:15:46.620 --> 01:15:48.280
Who did God create you to be?

1263
01:15:50.180 --> 01:15:51.220
That's really good.

1264
01:15:52.320 --> 01:15:56.540
So that's what God is kind of wanting me to share with you.

1265
01:15:56.540 --> 01:15:59.160
So y'all see, like, ladies, this is hard work stuff.

1266
01:15:59.160 --> 01:16:01.360
Like this is not even dating stuff.

1267
01:16:04.140 --> 01:16:08.020
So don't be afraid to come with any of these kinds of questions.

1268
01:16:08.280 --> 01:16:13.320
So any of you that are even watching the replay, put these kinds of questions in our app, like

1269
01:16:14.460 --> 01:16:18.260
that's how Holy Spirit will come in and work in this community.

1270
01:16:18.260 --> 01:16:24.820
And these are all bits and pieces that brought us into this preparation period for our husbands.

1271
01:16:27.120 --> 01:16:30.480
So Mika, I hope that speaks to you.

1272
01:16:30.640 --> 01:16:31.840
I hope that blesses you.

1273
01:16:33.440 --> 01:16:34.960
Chew on it a little bit.

1274
01:16:36.040 --> 01:16:36.860
All right.

1275
01:16:36.900 --> 01:16:37.640
I will.

1276
01:16:37.880 --> 01:16:38.680
It was very helpful.

1277
01:16:39.020 --> 01:16:39.440
Okay.

1278
01:16:39.440 --> 01:16:39.900
Thanks Carla.

1279
01:16:40.080 --> 01:16:41.420
You are so welcome.

1280
01:16:41.620 --> 01:16:42.180
All right.

1281
01:16:42.180 --> 01:16:42.860
Keep us updated.

1282
01:16:43.140 --> 01:16:43.640
All right.

1283
01:16:43.640 --> 01:16:46.820
If you got more to share after, you know, you spend some time with that, please, by

1284
01:16:47.060 --> 01:16:48.800
all means, let us know.

1285
01:16:49.740 --> 01:16:49.740


1286
01:16:52.400 --> 01:16:53.180
All right.

1287
01:16:55.720 --> 01:16:56.240
Okay.

1288
01:16:56.260 --> 01:16:59.060
Ashley, I'm going to, you've got 30.

1289
01:16:59.580 --> 01:16:59.580


1290
01:16:59.580 --> 01:17:01.380
I just have a few minutes left.

1291
01:17:01.720 --> 01:17:01.900
Okay.

1292
01:17:01.900 --> 01:17:03.500
Leah, can you stick around after Ashley?

1293
01:17:03.960 --> 01:17:04.380
Okay.

1294
01:17:04.380 --> 01:17:04.840
Perfect.

1295
01:17:05.140 --> 01:17:05.360
Awesome.

1296
01:17:05.420 --> 01:17:05.940
Thanks Leah.

1297
01:17:06.120 --> 01:17:07.040
I appreciate it.

1298
01:17:07.060 --> 01:17:12.040
I appreciate you ladies for like working with me and my not being short, brief and powerful.

1299
01:17:13.340 --> 01:17:15.600
I mean, maybe I'm powerful.

1300
01:17:15.600 --> 01:17:19.660
I hope, but maybe not short and brief.

1301
01:17:22.120 --> 01:17:22.760
All right.

1302
01:17:22.800 --> 01:17:23.640
What's your question, Ashley?

1303
01:17:24.860 --> 01:17:31.380
So first I did reply when you asked something on my post from like five days ago.

1304
01:17:31.580 --> 01:17:32.900
It was really long though.

1305
01:17:33.460 --> 01:17:33.700
Okay.

1306
01:17:33.740 --> 01:17:34.320
Yeah.

1307
01:17:34.320 --> 01:17:35.480
I might have.

1308
01:17:35.960 --> 01:17:37.540
Did I reply over the weekend?

1309
01:17:38.360 --> 01:17:40.780
You didn't reply over the weekend.

1310
01:17:40.980 --> 01:17:42.940
I don't think.

1311
01:17:43.620 --> 01:17:48.160
I know like there was some and I was trying to get to him, but I, yeah, being in Austin,

1312
01:17:48.220 --> 01:17:49.400
I was like jumping back and forth.

1313
01:17:49.920 --> 01:17:50.100
So yeah.

1314
01:17:51.100 --> 01:17:51.540
Okay.

1315
01:17:52.420 --> 01:17:56.220
But in, so the, I love that you named him Mr. Swing Dancer.

1316
01:17:56.420 --> 01:17:57.300
I was like, that was great.

1317
01:17:58.040 --> 01:17:58.180
Okay.

1318
01:17:58.180 --> 01:17:59.040
That helps me.

1319
01:17:59.160 --> 01:18:00.880
That helps me remember y'all.

1320
01:18:01.300 --> 01:18:01.520
Mr. Swing Dancer.

1321
01:18:01.880 --> 01:18:01.920
Okay.

1322
01:18:03.820 --> 01:18:09.600
But in that, in that long, I, sorry, I was, I would write something and then I'd be like,

1323
01:18:09.640 --> 01:18:10.280
oh, there's more.

1324
01:18:10.480 --> 01:18:11.020
So there's a lot.

1325
01:18:11.240 --> 01:18:12.020
And it was really long.

1326
01:18:12.020 --> 01:18:12.180
Good.

1327
01:18:12.300 --> 01:18:13.440
No, I like detail.

1328
01:18:13.560 --> 01:18:14.360
That's totally fine.

1329
01:18:14.480 --> 01:18:14.920
I love it.

1330
01:18:16.080 --> 01:18:20.740
Were you on Ebony's call and did she get updates on that?

1331
01:18:22.400 --> 01:18:29.040
No, I talked, I did mention Ebony's call and that's why you'd asked about Mr. Swing

1332
01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:29.320
Dancer.

1333
01:18:29.400 --> 01:18:31.220
Cause I didn't really say anything about him.

1334
01:18:31.340 --> 01:18:36.320
I sent a letter to my sister and I cried or from my sister and I was crying on the call.

1335
01:18:36.680 --> 01:18:36.800
That's great.

1336
01:18:37.140 --> 01:18:37.160
Okay.

1337
01:18:37.160 --> 01:18:37.620
Gotcha.

1338
01:18:38.320 --> 01:18:38.960
See, that's what I'm saying.

1339
01:18:38.960 --> 01:18:43.540
Like sometimes I'm like, if I can't get to the replay and I'm like, wait, I didn't hear

1340
01:18:43.540 --> 01:18:44.080
the details.

1341
01:18:44.220 --> 01:18:47.760
So that's why sometimes like, and Ebony will do that when y'all come on and share details

1342
01:18:47.760 --> 01:18:48.360
with me.

1343
01:18:48.740 --> 01:18:51.520
But if she's the one replying, she might not know the full story.

1344
01:18:51.840 --> 01:18:52.480
So we, we do.

1345
01:18:52.760 --> 01:18:57.980
She and I do try to keep in touch and like fill each other in, but we sometimes miss

1346
01:18:57.980 --> 01:18:58.540
each other.

1347
01:18:58.780 --> 01:18:59.660
So that's.

1348
01:19:00.080 --> 01:19:00.780
Totally fine.

1349
01:19:01.120 --> 01:19:01.360
Okay.

1350
01:19:01.360 --> 01:19:08.300
So I did update, like kind of like give background stuff with Mr. Swing Dancer, but he's, I think

1351
01:19:08.300 --> 01:19:13.140
even when I gave, when I told you that information, like I was already like, yeah, no, that's

1352
01:19:13.140 --> 01:19:14.620
not, that can't go anywhere.

1353
01:19:14.760 --> 01:19:15.380
So I knew that.

1354
01:19:15.380 --> 01:19:22.460
And then I think I inadvertently managed to get him to just walk himself out.

1355
01:19:24.380 --> 01:19:33.120
I'd asked him some questions the other night and his, his lack of maturity just came out

1356
01:19:33.120 --> 01:19:35.520
where he just felt like I was.

1357
01:19:36.760 --> 01:19:38.080
He didn't say it this way.

1358
01:19:38.080 --> 01:19:42.360
I just, I'm feeling like I know him more than he realizes in some ways.

1359
01:19:42.500 --> 01:19:51.100
And he just felt like I was pushing his, his leadership or challenging his leadership and

1360
01:19:51.100 --> 01:19:51.320
authority.

1361
01:19:51.320 --> 01:19:52.440
I'm like, dude, we're not even dating.

1362
01:19:52.540 --> 01:19:53.840
Like I already told you, we're not dating.

1363
01:19:54.280 --> 01:19:55.000
This isn't going anywhere.

1364
01:19:55.160 --> 01:19:55.800
We just dance.

1365
01:19:57.100 --> 01:19:59.520
So, and he didn't want to talk about it that night.

1366
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.200
And he hasn't texted.

1367
01:20:01.400 --> 01:20:04.500
What question did you ask him and what did he say?

1368
01:20:04.580 --> 01:20:05.740
And then what was your interpretation?

1369
01:20:07.880 --> 01:20:13.240
So he had posted something on Facebook about he just

1370
01:20:13.240 --> 01:20:15.740
wants a woman that's his piece.

1371
01:20:16.580 --> 01:20:18.320
He wants his, wait, what?

1372
01:20:18.660 --> 01:20:22.120
A woman that's like his piece and doesn't bring war,

1373
01:20:22.240 --> 01:20:23.840
like the nagging and the.

1374
01:20:24.220 --> 01:20:24.760
OK.

1375
01:20:24.760 --> 01:20:28.480
He wants his woman to basically be peace, P-E-A-C-E.

1376
01:20:29.680 --> 01:20:31.140
Yes, yes, not war.

1377
01:20:32.180 --> 01:20:34.460
And so I was just asking him like, yeah,

1378
01:20:35.880 --> 01:20:38.360
tell me more about what that looks like.

1379
01:20:38.840 --> 01:20:40.040
OK, I love that question.

1380
01:20:40.200 --> 01:20:41.220
Ladies, did you hear that?

1381
01:20:42.860 --> 01:20:46.540
He said something that's, y'all saw my response on that.

1382
01:20:46.660 --> 01:20:47.120
I don't know.

1383
01:20:47.740 --> 01:20:50.180
I didn't type it that way, but that is what,

1384
01:20:50.420 --> 01:20:52.380
but we've had this conversation before.

1385
01:20:53.180 --> 01:20:55.760
Yeah, I mean, saying something like that on your Facebook,

1386
01:20:55.860 --> 01:20:58.120
I mean, that's a little odd to me.

1387
01:20:58.120 --> 01:21:02.100
But I love how you're like, tell me more about that.

1388
01:21:02.420 --> 01:21:05.640
So see, like even when she said that and what he said,

1389
01:21:06.840 --> 01:21:08.700
I had a little judgment.

1390
01:21:10.200 --> 01:21:12.160
So we all do it, ladies.

1391
01:21:12.500 --> 01:21:14.080
We all do it.

1392
01:21:15.140 --> 01:21:15.540
And so.

1393
01:21:15.960 --> 01:21:18.520
So I just was like, what does that look like when

1394
01:21:18.520 --> 01:21:19.500
there's a disagreement?

1395
01:21:19.560 --> 01:21:23.600
Or like, what does it look like, like your part?

1396
01:21:23.640 --> 01:21:25.740
Like what does leading well look like to you?

1397
01:21:25.740 --> 01:21:26.880
What are you doing to prepare?

1398
01:21:26.880 --> 01:21:30.020
And, you know, just questions like that.

1399
01:21:30.020 --> 01:21:30.840
I love that.

1400
01:21:31.140 --> 01:21:31.720
So like, what's that?

1401
01:21:32.040 --> 01:21:32.480
He did not.

1402
01:21:33.000 --> 01:21:33.820
Gave him anxiety.

1403
01:21:35.220 --> 01:21:36.420
It gave him an anxiety.

1404
01:21:36.680 --> 01:21:37.300
It gave him anxiety.

1405
01:21:37.720 --> 01:21:38.620
Yeah, he told me that.

1406
01:21:38.680 --> 01:21:40.640
Yeah, he actually did use that.

1407
01:21:41.940 --> 01:21:43.380
It gave him anxiety.

1408
01:21:43.600 --> 01:21:44.580
Oh, my God.

1409
01:21:44.980 --> 01:21:45.780
It gave him anxiety.

1410
01:21:46.520 --> 01:21:48.160
So and he didn't want to.

1411
01:21:48.160 --> 01:21:51.080
I so I I made a point to try and get away so I could call.

1412
01:21:51.080 --> 01:21:52.260
And he didn't he didn't want to call.

1413
01:21:52.300 --> 01:21:53.060
He was like, I'm tired.

1414
01:21:53.100 --> 01:21:53.780
I just want to relax.

1415
01:21:53.840 --> 01:21:54.340
I was like, whatever.

1416
01:21:54.900 --> 01:21:57.300
And I didn't really expect to call or a text.

1417
01:21:58.320 --> 01:22:01.100
So I'm guessing I won't get any calls or texts.

1418
01:22:01.240 --> 01:22:04.260
And I'll see him on the 14th and we'll see what happens then.

1419
01:22:04.280 --> 01:22:05.500
Because that's there you go.

1420
01:22:05.740 --> 01:22:06.780
But see, I love that.

1421
01:22:06.900 --> 01:22:09.880
You're like, hey, what does this look like before you like

1422
01:22:09.880 --> 01:22:11.160
passed any sort of judgment?

1423
01:22:12.560 --> 01:22:16.000
You gave him an opportunity to explain it and be more clear

1424
01:22:16.000 --> 01:22:16.900
with what he meant.

1425
01:22:17.300 --> 01:22:20.100
And then you gave him like you gave him a question.

1426
01:22:20.380 --> 01:22:23.100
So what does it look like for a man to lead?

1427
01:22:24.880 --> 01:22:28.000
Yeah, well, what's like what is your version of that look like?

1428
01:22:28.180 --> 01:22:29.480
What's that look like to you?

1429
01:22:29.480 --> 01:22:30.960
Because you're going to leave.

1430
01:22:31.380 --> 01:22:33.660
What how do you think you would show up?

1431
01:22:34.260 --> 01:22:35.700
Yeah, I love that question.

1432
01:22:35.920 --> 01:22:37.480
Ladies like that is a good question.

1433
01:22:37.720 --> 01:22:40.160
I wouldn't necessarily ask that on a first date, OK?

1434
01:22:40.620 --> 01:22:43.880
But if you are on like a third date and you're kind of like,

1435
01:22:43.880 --> 01:22:46.340
you know, second, third date, you're kind of feeling it out.

1436
01:22:46.560 --> 01:22:48.220
And it kind of gets to that question.

1437
01:22:48.260 --> 01:22:49.740
You guys are kind of talking about,

1438
01:22:50.680 --> 01:22:53.780
you know, relationships and what you're looking for.

1439
01:22:54.740 --> 01:22:58.460
Don't be afraid to ask a guy like, you know, I'm looking for a masculine man

1440
01:22:58.460 --> 01:23:04.860
that leads well, like what does a man leading in a relationship look like to you?

1441
01:23:05.780 --> 01:23:09.140
Because then he's going to literally tell you how he's going to show up

1442
01:23:09.140 --> 01:23:13.740
as a man in a like in a role in that way.

1443
01:23:13.980 --> 01:23:19.000
And the lack of, you know, not responding also tells me how he shows up.

1444
01:23:19.000 --> 01:23:21.280
Exactly. And that's what I'm saying.

1445
01:23:21.300 --> 01:23:22.340
These are good questions.

1446
01:23:22.740 --> 01:23:26.280
Their responses will give you so much information.

1447
01:23:27.580 --> 01:23:28.580
What are they?

1448
01:23:28.800 --> 01:23:31.700
Are they mature, masculine and marriage minded ladies?

1449
01:23:32.560 --> 01:23:35.180
And again, you're not going to like you're not going to always be able

1450
01:23:35.180 --> 01:23:37.160
to discover that in a first date.

1451
01:23:37.880 --> 01:23:42.720
Like it might take a series of dates of getting to know these guys,

1452
01:23:42.860 --> 01:23:46.180
especially guys that are really interested or really wanting

1453
01:23:47.660 --> 01:23:49.440
a girl to like them.

1454
01:23:50.480 --> 01:23:52.400
They're going to show up as their best self.

1455
01:23:53.540 --> 01:23:56.820
I mean, I would hope most guys are trying to show up as their best self.

1456
01:23:57.580 --> 01:23:59.060
Not that they all do.

1457
01:23:59.580 --> 01:24:02.200
I mean, we all we've all been I mean, I would like I'm imagining

1458
01:24:02.200 --> 01:24:05.840
we've all been on dates like that, that you're like, man,

1459
01:24:05.940 --> 01:24:08.240
this is your best self on a first date.

1460
01:24:08.980 --> 01:24:11.420
I don't think I want to go on another date with you.

1461
01:24:12.560 --> 01:24:13.880
This is as good as it gets.

1462
01:24:13.880 --> 01:24:17.500
I don't know what I want to see on what to look like on the 10th date.

1463
01:24:17.560 --> 01:24:18.620
Like, no, thank you.

1464
01:24:19.200 --> 01:24:22.420
But like we want to believe that that's like they're probably showing up

1465
01:24:22.420 --> 01:24:23.140
as their best self.

1466
01:24:23.560 --> 01:24:27.880
So again, like that's why it's important to have like two or three dates

1467
01:24:27.880 --> 01:24:28.520
with somebody.

1468
01:24:29.560 --> 01:24:31.560
To allow that to come out.

1469
01:24:34.000 --> 01:24:35.940
So, yeah, super important.

1470
01:24:36.100 --> 01:24:37.820
I like that you did that.

1471
01:24:38.080 --> 01:24:38.680
Thank y'all.

1472
01:24:38.800 --> 01:24:40.620
Y'all just learn something from Ashley.

1473
01:24:40.620 --> 01:24:41.540
Take that.

1474
01:24:42.640 --> 01:24:42.640


1475
01:24:43.420 --> 01:24:47.680
So in in the my long response there, I do have actually a question.

1476
01:24:48.160 --> 01:24:51.960
With that, if you can, you know, when you get a chance to read all

1477
01:24:51.960 --> 01:24:52.720
that, look at that.

1478
01:24:52.900 --> 01:24:54.980
What can you tell me what day it was from?

1479
01:24:55.280 --> 01:24:57.140
It just says five days ago.

1480
01:24:57.300 --> 01:24:58.240
OK, five days ago.

1481
01:24:59.280 --> 01:24:59.800
And.

1482
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.500
And then one more question.

1483
01:25:02.700 --> 01:25:03.060
I'm sorry.

1484
01:25:03.820 --> 01:25:03.960
That's OK.

1485
01:25:04.580 --> 01:25:08.460
When you replied to me, did you reply under my comment

1486
01:25:08.460 --> 01:25:11.420
or did you reply to your post?

1487
01:25:12.040 --> 01:25:13.480
I replied under your comment.

1488
01:25:13.800 --> 01:25:14.920
Does it not show up that way?

1489
01:25:15.500 --> 01:25:17.500
That's why I haven't seen it.

1490
01:25:17.780 --> 01:25:18.380
So OK.

1491
01:25:19.300 --> 01:25:19.300


1492
01:25:19.520 --> 01:25:20.800
Reply as my own post again?

1493
01:25:21.100 --> 01:25:21.620
Yes.

1494
01:25:21.720 --> 01:25:22.480
I won't see.

1495
01:25:22.540 --> 01:25:24.880
If you reply under my comment on your post,

1496
01:25:24.920 --> 01:25:26.140
it will not notify me.

1497
01:25:26.500 --> 01:25:26.840
OK.

1498
01:25:27.040 --> 01:25:27.420
Good to know.

1499
01:25:27.420 --> 01:25:28.000
I didn't.

1500
01:25:28.000 --> 01:25:29.960
And that goes for all of you ladies.

1501
01:25:30.120 --> 01:25:30.600
OK.

1502
01:25:30.700 --> 01:25:35.760
Just always, if myself or Ebony is ever replying to your post,

1503
01:25:36.800 --> 01:25:38.980
don't click reply to our comment.

1504
01:25:39.440 --> 01:25:40.760
Just reply to your own post.

1505
01:25:41.220 --> 01:25:41.520
Got it.

1506
01:25:41.600 --> 01:25:42.620
Because we have like.

1507
01:25:42.880 --> 01:25:42.900
So helpful.

1508
01:25:43.300 --> 01:25:44.560
Because we have like admin.

1509
01:25:44.720 --> 01:25:46.340
I'm like, did you guys see it?

1510
01:25:46.740 --> 01:25:47.600
Yeah, I know sometimes.

1511
01:25:47.700 --> 01:25:48.120
And that's what I'm saying.

1512
01:25:48.180 --> 01:25:49.780
That's why I'm like, if we ever miss it

1513
01:25:49.780 --> 01:25:51.860
and you're like waiting on a reply for us,

1514
01:25:51.940 --> 01:25:55.620
just shoot us another post because then we should see that

1515
01:25:55.620 --> 01:25:59.240
and then we can go search or get more details about that.

1516
01:25:59.240 --> 01:26:01.040
Because I do think now that I think about it,

1517
01:26:01.040 --> 01:26:02.520
I think you did say something about it

1518
01:26:02.520 --> 01:26:04.900
and I just didn't get to go search it.

1519
01:26:05.640 --> 01:26:06.060
Yes.

1520
01:26:06.060 --> 01:26:07.440
Because I was in Austin this weekend.

1521
01:26:07.960 --> 01:26:08.380
Yes.

1522
01:26:08.380 --> 01:26:10.780
And I was like, so I'm glad you brought that back up

1523
01:26:10.780 --> 01:26:12.200
because that's what happened then.

1524
01:26:12.580 --> 01:26:14.420
You would have replied to my comment

1525
01:26:14.420 --> 01:26:15.720
and that's why it never showed up.

1526
01:26:15.800 --> 01:26:16.220
OK.

1527
01:26:16.560 --> 01:26:17.140
So now I know.

1528
01:26:17.160 --> 01:26:18.120
And I knew you were in Austin, so I

1529
01:26:18.120 --> 01:26:20.320
knew it was possible that it was going to take longer.

1530
01:26:20.520 --> 01:26:21.420
So not a big deal.

1531
01:26:21.720 --> 01:26:22.600
Thank you for that.

1532
01:26:22.700 --> 01:26:24.060
Thank you for that grace and patience.

1533
01:26:24.060 --> 01:26:27.020
I really appreciate it.

1534
01:26:27.720 --> 01:26:29.520
So nothing that I posted about yet.

1535
01:26:29.600 --> 01:26:32.920
So I will say, first off, I did have a win

1536
01:26:32.920 --> 01:26:35.080
that I almost posted last night and then I just didn't.

1537
01:26:36.260 --> 01:26:37.960
So I want you to go and post it.

1538
01:26:38.060 --> 01:26:39.460
You can share it now, but I still

1539
01:26:39.460 --> 01:26:40.600
want you to go post it because there's

1540
01:26:40.600 --> 01:26:43.360
some women that are not going to watch the replay that are

1541
01:26:43.360 --> 01:26:44.360
going to go and see your post.

1542
01:26:44.960 --> 01:26:46.820
So ladies, I do want you posting.

1543
01:26:47.840 --> 01:26:50.740
My very first boyfriend, like literally

1544
01:26:50.820 --> 01:26:52.620
my very first boyfriend.

1545
01:26:53.420 --> 01:26:55.260
He had texted me earlier this year

1546
01:26:55.260 --> 01:26:59.820
and then I found out that he was like, hey, is this your number?

1547
01:26:59.860 --> 01:27:01.600
I'm like, dude, do you know how much work you had

1548
01:27:01.600 --> 01:27:02.580
to do to get my phone number?

1549
01:27:02.960 --> 01:27:03.580
That's crazy.

1550
01:27:03.900 --> 01:27:05.260
That was already a little weird.

1551
01:27:05.540 --> 01:27:08.280
Then I found out that his marriage is not good

1552
01:27:08.280 --> 01:27:10.060
and I was like, no, not texting anymore.

1553
01:27:10.860 --> 01:27:12.680
And so then last night, he texted

1554
01:27:13.320 --> 01:27:17.000
and he was like, as I was moving into my new place,

1555
01:27:17.060 --> 01:27:20.800
I was looking through old photos and he sent a picture of me

1556
01:27:20.800 --> 01:27:22.380
that he still had.

1557
01:27:23.380 --> 01:27:26.020
I was like, we were 14.

1558
01:27:29.320 --> 01:27:29.800
Weird.

1559
01:27:30.840 --> 01:27:33.080
You're like, dude, maybe that's why your marriage is not

1560
01:27:33.520 --> 01:27:34.340
doing well.

1561
01:27:34.680 --> 01:27:36.340
You got pictures of your old girlfriend.

1562
01:27:37.160 --> 01:27:37.520
Yes.

1563
01:27:37.660 --> 01:27:40.140
I was like, that was a long time ago.

1564
01:27:40.380 --> 01:27:42.120
Sounds like things aren't going well with your wife.

1565
01:27:42.400 --> 01:27:43.060
Sorry to hear that.

1566
01:27:43.160 --> 01:27:45.420
I pray you'll find the healing you need in this season.

1567
01:27:45.860 --> 01:27:47.700
And he just didn't text back.

1568
01:27:47.760 --> 01:27:48.760
So I was like, thank goodness.

1569
01:27:49.400 --> 01:27:51.480
So it's a win that you're kind of like, OK,

1570
01:27:51.660 --> 01:27:53.920
I'm recognizing these are unhealthy behaviors

1571
01:27:56.440 --> 01:27:59.540
and you can bless and move along.

1572
01:28:00.220 --> 01:28:00.220


1573
01:28:00.220 --> 01:28:03.760
And I just the response was so easy for me,

1574
01:28:03.760 --> 01:28:07.700
which is a new thing for me for it to just be easy.

1575
01:28:07.980 --> 01:28:09.600
Yeah, because you've gotten some healing.

1576
01:28:10.160 --> 01:28:10.580
Yeah.

1577
01:28:10.700 --> 01:28:12.860
That's what's that's what heart work will do.

1578
01:28:13.000 --> 01:28:14.800
And you'll start responding that way.

1579
01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:16.360
So yes, this is a huge win.

1580
01:28:16.360 --> 01:28:17.840
Go share that in the wins.

1581
01:28:17.840 --> 01:28:22.520
OK, for your sisters like that will give everybody

1582
01:28:22.520 --> 01:28:23.440
so much encouragement.

1583
01:28:23.960 --> 01:28:27.780
Like, ladies, do not be afraid to post.

1584
01:28:27.980 --> 01:28:29.360
OK, I don't care how long it is.

1585
01:28:29.360 --> 01:28:31.420
If you've got to type a novel, y'all,

1586
01:28:31.480 --> 01:28:33.360
I'm used to reading y'all's novels.

1587
01:28:33.540 --> 01:28:34.420
I typed a bunch.

1588
01:28:35.820 --> 01:28:39.780
You know, it might take me a minute to reply to you again.

1589
01:28:40.080 --> 01:28:41.800
That's you know, we'll we'll get to you.

1590
01:28:41.800 --> 01:28:42.520
I promise you will.

1591
01:28:43.080 --> 01:28:43.240
We will.

1592
01:28:44.400 --> 01:28:46.980
But again, I'm the girl that's not short,

1593
01:28:46.980 --> 01:28:47.420
brief and powerful.

1594
01:28:47.420 --> 01:28:49.540
I'm just really long winded and powerful.

1595
01:28:50.340 --> 01:28:53.560
So you won't I will understand you.

1596
01:28:53.860 --> 01:28:56.400
You can you can post the long things if you need to.

1597
01:28:56.680 --> 01:28:56.780
Perfect.

1598
01:28:56.880 --> 01:28:57.420
Thank you.

1599
01:28:57.420 --> 01:29:00.280
So then my one my one question that I've had,

1600
01:29:00.300 --> 01:29:03.500
I was kind of I've kind of been twirling around in my mind.

1601
01:29:06.780 --> 01:29:11.060
So I have told quite a number of people, not not everyone.

1602
01:29:11.140 --> 01:29:13.880
I'm definitely not posting it about our challenge.

1603
01:29:15.080 --> 01:29:17.960
And nobody's gotten back to me, which is fine.

1604
01:29:18.200 --> 01:29:20.960
I really am totally fine with that right now.

1605
01:29:21.360 --> 01:29:27.420
But before I started this, there was I went I my very first date

1606
01:29:28.540 --> 01:29:32.780
was like and like literally the first date I've ever gone

1607
01:29:32.780 --> 01:29:36.360
since I since, you know, being married and divorced.

1608
01:29:37.200 --> 01:29:37.960
Let's see.

1609
01:29:37.960 --> 01:29:39.840
What was I thinking to name him for you?

1610
01:29:40.920 --> 01:29:41.820
I love it.

1611
01:29:41.820 --> 01:29:44.920
He's he's a he's a professional ballroom teacher.

1612
01:29:46.680 --> 01:29:48.380
So I don't know who's asking the answer.

1613
01:29:49.820 --> 01:29:52.000
He he's a professional ballroom teacher.

1614
01:29:52.520 --> 01:29:54.020
Can we call him Fred Astaire?

1615
01:29:55.980 --> 01:29:56.200
Yeah.

1616
01:29:58.820 --> 01:29:59.980
Yes, that's.

1617
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:00.620
That's great.

1618
01:30:00.860 --> 01:30:01.160
OK.

1619
01:30:01.260 --> 01:30:03.640
Fred or just Fred, whatever you want to go.

1620
01:30:03.740 --> 01:30:04.200
All right.

1621
01:30:04.640 --> 01:30:09.060
So he had already told me, like, I know he's divorced.

1622
01:30:10.560 --> 01:30:12.680
I know he's a little nervous and shy.

1623
01:30:13.320 --> 01:30:15.340
So we had a good day.

1624
01:30:15.620 --> 01:30:20.240
I was an absolute wreck as far as, like, emotions.

1625
01:30:20.780 --> 01:30:22.080
Like, so nervous.

1626
01:30:22.200 --> 01:30:23.440
But we just went to a play.

1627
01:30:23.500 --> 01:30:24.460
So it was really easy.

1628
01:30:24.880 --> 01:30:27.320
So we didn't have to do too much talking.

1629
01:30:27.840 --> 01:30:28.360
Yeah.

1630
01:30:28.920 --> 01:30:33.040
See, you know, as we, you know, we walked to the cars

1631
01:30:33.100 --> 01:30:35.700
together and said, you know, he'd like to do it again.

1632
01:30:35.740 --> 01:30:39.220
And, you know, I kind of, like, texted back a little bit,

1633
01:30:39.220 --> 01:30:40.800
like, hey, had a great time or whatever.

1634
01:30:42.820 --> 01:30:45.020
And this was, like, months ago.

1635
01:30:46.060 --> 01:30:48.180
And I didn't really hear back from him.

1636
01:30:48.200 --> 01:30:51.740
But then I go to where we dance, right, where we met.

1637
01:30:51.740 --> 01:30:52.160
We met dancing.

1638
01:30:52.280 --> 01:30:53.160
I see him again.

1639
01:30:53.760 --> 01:30:57.740
So the last time I saw him and we danced.

1640
01:31:01.660 --> 01:31:02.460
Hold on.

1641
01:31:02.780 --> 01:31:03.620
I can't hear you all of a sudden.

1642
01:31:03.860 --> 01:31:04.740
You went out.

1643
01:31:09.440 --> 01:31:10.040
Oh.

1644
01:31:11.380 --> 01:31:12.020
Oh, no.

1645
01:31:12.720 --> 01:31:13.560
I can't hear you.

1646
01:31:15.880 --> 01:31:17.060
Can you hear me now?

1647
01:31:17.340 --> 01:31:18.160
Yes, I can.

1648
01:31:18.420 --> 01:31:18.980
OK, perfect.

1649
01:31:18.980 --> 01:31:19.320
Sorry.

1650
01:31:19.360 --> 01:31:22.020
I was playing with my headphone box.

1651
01:31:22.020 --> 01:31:22.620
OK.

1652
01:31:27.260 --> 01:31:31.680
So the last time that I saw him, I just kind of asked

1653
01:31:31.680 --> 01:31:35.060
some questions and he didn't ask me out again, which was fine.

1654
01:31:35.920 --> 01:31:39.320
But I kind of wondered, like, well, maybe I should wonder,

1655
01:31:40.140 --> 01:31:43.520
because I wasn't, since I wasn't in this yet, you know,

1656
01:31:43.520 --> 01:31:47.840
he was like, I'm not, like, super attracted to him,

1657
01:31:47.840 --> 01:31:49.840
like, but we didn't really talk a whole lot.

1658
01:31:49.840 --> 01:31:53.660
Like, I'm not opposed to talking to him more, but not attracted.

1659
01:31:54.100 --> 01:31:55.060
Like, I don't know.

1660
01:31:55.160 --> 01:31:57.960
So I was like, should I, like, say something to him?

1661
01:31:58.660 --> 01:31:58.660


1662
01:32:00.720 --> 01:32:04.500
Well, if he again, what we will coach you, ladies, in phase

1663
01:32:04.500 --> 01:32:09.220
in this phase is after the first date, we really like

1664
01:32:09.220 --> 01:32:13.000
we we tell you, ladies, drop the hanky to get the first date,

1665
01:32:13.000 --> 01:32:15.740
because sometimes guys just mean like they need to have a clue.

1666
01:32:16.160 --> 01:32:18.180
Right. I don't mean that in a mean way.

1667
01:32:18.180 --> 01:32:23.360
But sometimes guys just want to feel secure that they have a shot like

1668
01:32:23.980 --> 01:32:28.140
that, they're going to actually get a yes if they ask you.

1669
01:32:28.280 --> 01:32:32.940
OK, so that's why oftentimes, ladies, you have to, like,

1670
01:32:32.940 --> 01:32:34.340
encourage them to ask you on a date

1671
01:32:34.900 --> 01:32:37.660
because they want to know that you're actually going to say yes.

1672
01:32:38.480 --> 01:32:41.160
So on a first like before the first date, we are going to say,

1673
01:32:41.280 --> 01:32:43.180
hey, let's drop the hanky. OK.

1674
01:32:43.900 --> 01:32:45.240
For a second date,

1675
01:32:46.080 --> 01:32:49.400
we're going to oftentimes express

1676
01:32:49.400 --> 01:32:53.460
that you ladies wait for them to offer a second date.

1677
01:32:54.500 --> 01:32:57.960
But we want you to make sure that after the first date,

1678
01:32:58.380 --> 01:33:01.620
if you enjoyed the date and you would want to go on a second date,

1679
01:33:01.800 --> 01:33:05.920
you're going to make sure that they are aware that you enjoyed yourself

1680
01:33:05.920 --> 01:33:07.580
and you'd be open to it.

1681
01:33:07.740 --> 01:33:09.080
They're not my names.

1682
01:33:09.520 --> 01:33:11.440
I think I did.

1683
01:33:11.440 --> 01:33:12.640
I'm not a mind reader, babe.

1684
01:33:12.680 --> 01:33:14.060
And I'm like, but you should be.

1685
01:33:14.740 --> 01:33:15.900
We're married. We're one.

1686
01:33:16.140 --> 01:33:17.620
Which means you should read my mind.

1687
01:33:17.620 --> 01:33:20.700
We had more texts afterwards. OK.

1688
01:33:21.240 --> 01:33:23.920
But then he never asked again. Let's do that again.

1689
01:33:25.580 --> 01:33:28.600
So, again, did you say, hey, that was like, thank you so much.

1690
01:33:28.640 --> 01:33:29.980
I had a really good time. Let's do that again.

1691
01:33:31.400 --> 01:33:34.060
I don't know. It was I was looking back.

1692
01:33:34.100 --> 01:33:36.140
I'm like, no, this was in July. I knew it was a while ago.

1693
01:33:39.700 --> 01:33:41.540
Kevin. Well, here's the thing.

1694
01:33:41.540 --> 01:33:45.180
What the when you were sharing that with me, my thought was this.

1695
01:33:46.020 --> 01:33:48.000
I don't think it is.

1696
01:33:48.040 --> 01:33:51.060
I'm getting the vibe that you're kind of like you don't really.

1697
01:33:52.120 --> 01:33:54.260
Yeah, that's kind of us.

1698
01:33:54.280 --> 01:33:57.860
Yeah, my my gut was telling me.

1699
01:33:59.240 --> 01:34:02.080
Reach out to him and introduce him to this community,

1700
01:34:02.540 --> 01:34:08.880
because maybe he isn't for you, but maybe that like instinct to me.

1701
01:34:08.880 --> 01:34:10.620
Yeah, I should reach out to him.

1702
01:34:10.620 --> 01:34:12.700
Maybe it's because he's for one of your sisters here in the community.

1703
01:34:13.440 --> 01:34:16.120
OK. Yeah, I was definitely thinking about telling him last.

1704
01:34:16.260 --> 01:34:17.460
Next time I see him.

1705
01:34:17.700 --> 01:34:19.520
Yeah. And just tell him about Jackie's community.

1706
01:34:19.800 --> 01:34:21.680
The men's program is called 1822.

1707
01:34:22.220 --> 01:34:23.020
Proverbs 1822.

1708
01:34:24.020 --> 01:34:26.660
And because you said he was he was a nice guy, right?

1709
01:34:27.240 --> 01:34:28.940
Yeah. Yeah. Like a nice guy, probably.

1710
01:34:29.440 --> 01:34:32.960
So just say, hey, like, you know, I really appreciate us going out.

1711
01:34:32.960 --> 01:34:34.420
Like we had I had a nice time with you.

1712
01:34:34.420 --> 01:34:37.500
I don't I don't think we're probably romantically like

1713
01:34:38.540 --> 01:34:40.140
obviously like connected.

1714
01:34:40.380 --> 01:34:44.520
But I'm part of this community, the single community.

1715
01:34:45.700 --> 01:34:48.480
And there are a lot of really great single women.

1716
01:34:48.820 --> 01:34:50.940
And we have a men's program.

1717
01:34:52.100 --> 01:34:56.580
And I thought maybe, you know, we need a lot of really good men.

1718
01:34:56.620 --> 01:34:59.980
And I thought of you and thought you were you like you're.

1719
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:07.600
enjoyable person and I thought maybe if you're interested there maybe is a girl in our community

1720
01:35:07.780 --> 01:35:15.760
that you'd be interested in. Here's some information look it up JackieDorman.com

1721
01:35:16.520 --> 01:35:23.580
and then if you if he's or if you go into the resources resource tab and you sign up for the

1722
01:35:23.580 --> 01:35:28.280
affiliate link I think that's still in the resource tab you can set up an affiliate link for yourself

1723
01:35:28.840 --> 01:35:34.880
and then you can share your link and if they sign up then you get um you'll get money deposited to

1724
01:35:35.120 --> 01:35:40.580
you. Oh I like that idea. Like it's a referral thing. I think it's like 75 dollars or something

1725
01:35:40.580 --> 01:35:45.740
like if they sign up for the program then you get like 75. Oh yeah I didn't know what it was

1726
01:35:45.740 --> 01:35:50.720
the link's still in there. Yeah so definitely definitely do that and then be like here like

1727
01:35:50.720 --> 01:35:55.880
use this link it's you know and then they'll click on that I mean and he can still look up

1728
01:35:55.880 --> 01:36:00.820
JackieDorman.com but if he signs up going just straight to JackieDorman.com and signs up from

1729
01:36:00.820 --> 01:36:07.560
hers and not from your link you won't get that referral. Gotcha. Does that make sense? Yep.

1730
01:36:08.060 --> 01:36:13.100
Okay. All right thank you I have to run I have to pack up all the things and get to the next

1731
01:36:13.320 --> 01:36:17.060
next other building to the new building. Hey all right keep keep us posted okay.

1732
01:36:17.460 --> 01:36:22.960
All right thanks so much Karla. Bye guys thanks again Leah. Hey Leah how's everything going?

1733
01:36:24.980 --> 01:36:36.040
Well um. Any new new info from the dates? Um the one that I met on the ark um that we've been

1734
01:36:36.040 --> 01:36:45.400
chatting for I guess maybe two weeks now. Okay. Um he just we haven't done a video I haven't asked

1735
01:36:47.140 --> 01:36:55.700
um I don't know I and I should I mean he's kind of in a weird transition place because he just

1736
01:36:56.060 --> 01:37:04.480
moved. That's right. He's renting a cabin and he's not um he's he's waiting to buy this house

1737
01:37:04.480 --> 01:37:09.640
once the government shutdown's over so. Yeah we gotta ladies let's be praying into that

1738
01:37:09.640 --> 01:37:18.120
this government shutdown like we gotta be praying into that. Sorry keep going. So I bet things are

1739
01:37:18.120 --> 01:37:26.180
flowing really well I know he we've talked about our faith and he didn't really seem to know much

1740
01:37:26.180 --> 01:37:39.620
about mine I didn't I never even heard of his and so his is Seventh-day Baptist. Okay. Which I've

1741
01:37:39.620 --> 01:37:48.900
they observe the Sabbath but it's kind of like the Baptist faith. Okay. And so he said he liked

1742
01:37:48.900 --> 01:37:56.340
what he saw of mine except that we didn't observe the Sabbath the Ten Commandments is what he said

1743
01:37:56.340 --> 01:38:05.220
which which I think he was referring to the Sabbath. Okay. So um but and he you know he's

1744
01:38:05.960 --> 01:38:10.980
been asking me a lot of questions like what what are your favorite flowers and you know things

1745
01:38:11.180 --> 01:38:16.620
like that you know he and he he does come up with these interesting questions of the blue

1746
01:38:16.620 --> 01:38:23.980
oh will you pass that that that one or um you know just kind of makes funny comments and he's

1747
01:38:23.980 --> 01:38:29.320
yeah he's pretty funny and he's the one that's been a widow for 10 years and I've been widowed

1748
01:38:29.320 --> 01:38:37.860
for 10. Yep. So but he lives like he this house is like in the middle of nowhere. Yeah.

1749
01:38:38.940 --> 01:38:47.140
So I don't know um and I do live in a remote location where you can only fly or boat in and

1750
01:38:47.140 --> 01:38:55.680
out so I'm kind of used to remote but you know every place I go is like you know just a few

1751
01:38:56.400 --> 01:39:01.980
Yeah. Okay. That's what I thought. So like I can go to the grocery store and it's like

1752
01:39:01.980 --> 01:39:10.020
five miles away where his grocery store is 70 miles so and and I think as you get older

1753
01:39:10.080 --> 01:39:14.920
you know although he says it's growing because they're opening some mines there

1754
01:39:16.060 --> 01:39:24.840
but um so that's going um there's this man that's at church his name is Greg and

1755
01:39:25.700 --> 01:39:33.280
I don't know his marital background but he worked in the same building that I did I retired three

1756
01:39:33.280 --> 01:39:40.820
years ago but the last two years I was working from home due to COVID and I came back on my

1757
01:39:40.820 --> 01:39:47.260
last day to retire and I remember seeing him and I saw him before but I didn't really know him and

1758
01:39:47.260 --> 01:39:54.640
he'd only worked there for I think three years. Yeah. And he moved away and he just moved back

1759
01:39:54.640 --> 01:39:59.980
and he I met him at church um um and

1760
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.640
And so I don't, I don't know a whole lot about him. I did kind

1761
01:40:06.640 --> 01:40:15.780
of look up his Facebook. Yeah, saw a few things. But so so he

1762
01:40:15.780 --> 01:40:20.100
usually sits in front of me, but the Sunday, somebody was sitting

1763
01:40:20.100 --> 01:40:23.640
where he was normally sitting. So we ended up next to each

1764
01:40:23.640 --> 01:40:30.280
other on the same pew. And he's kind of quiet. And I am. But

1765
01:40:30.280 --> 01:40:33.820
once you get to talking to him, he talks, you know, okay, good.

1766
01:40:35.060 --> 01:40:43.880
And so it was funny, because Monday morning, I woke, I got on

1767
01:40:43.880 --> 01:40:47.480
Facebook Monday morning, and up popped, you know, that they had

1768
01:40:47.480 --> 01:40:51.180
the Facebook friends. Yeah, it was like a friend you might

1769
01:40:51.180 --> 01:40:55.640
know. Well, it was a huge picture of him. And, and I'm

1770
01:40:55.640 --> 01:41:00.740
like, Oh, funny. So I clicked on it. And he was so he was looking

1771
01:41:00.740 --> 01:41:04.700
for friends. And he wrote that he had just moved back to

1772
01:41:04.880 --> 01:41:09.220
Alaska. And so you're on the Facebook dating, and it popped

1773
01:41:09.220 --> 01:41:13.720
up with him. Well, it's, it's dating. And well, they have two

1774
01:41:13.720 --> 01:41:17.220
separate categories, one's for friends, and one's for dating.

1775
01:41:17.220 --> 01:41:21.500
But the ones that a lot of people that are in the friends,

1776
01:41:22.300 --> 01:41:26.220
some of it looks like they're looking for a date. So it's kind

1777
01:41:26.220 --> 01:41:30.420
of confusing. But there are women, you know, that you can

1778
01:41:30.620 --> 01:41:33.360
match it, you know, friends, you know, like, if you just move

1779
01:41:33.360 --> 01:41:36.980
somewhere, and you're looking for some friends. So basically,

1780
01:41:37.560 --> 01:41:41.740
and I can think of a lot of people want to make friends. And

1781
01:41:41.740 --> 01:41:44.340
if it leads to something more, you know,

1782
01:41:44.340 --> 01:41:47.860
yeah, they're like, open, just Yeah, I mean, they're open for

1783
01:41:47.860 --> 01:41:51.620
any, like, just friendship. And then if it happens to be a male,

1784
01:41:51.640 --> 01:41:56.400
and that grows into something else, and right, right. Okay, so

1785
01:41:56.400 --> 01:41:59.860
it wasn't, it wasn't the dating one, it was the friend one. And

1786
01:41:59.860 --> 01:42:08.660
so I clicked the smiley face. And so, so then I didn't, I

1787
01:42:08.660 --> 01:42:12.300
didn't get on Facebook till last night. And I didn't. And he

1788
01:42:12.300 --> 01:42:15.160
didn't, because usually, I think they have to match with

1789
01:42:15.500 --> 01:42:21.680
you, before you can have a, like an interaction. Okay. So he

1790
01:42:21.520 --> 01:42:25.420
didn't. I didn't see the activity, but I haven't looked

1791
01:42:25.420 --> 01:42:31.080
this morning yet. And he posted it yesterday morning. Okay, I

1792
01:42:31.080 --> 01:42:32.440
just be a morning person.

1793
01:42:33.520 --> 01:42:37.460
Or he just might not even be on his Facebook often. Like

1794
01:42:37.460 --> 01:42:41.240
sometimes people just not. Here's the thing. When you see

1795
01:42:41.240 --> 01:42:44.120
him on Sunday, if he hasn't responded by then be like, Hey,

1796
01:42:46.440 --> 01:42:50.560
I saw you on that Facebook friend thing. I sent you a

1797
01:42:50.560 --> 01:42:55.220
smile. Did you happen to see me? I'm gonna ask you to be bold,

1798
01:42:55.020 --> 01:43:01.380
Leah. Leah, I'm actually be bold girl. We're good. Yeah. What

1799
01:43:01.380 --> 01:43:04.460
what's the hesitation? Because I think there's something like,

1800
01:43:05.340 --> 01:43:08.940
do you think like, what, what's the, what's the hold up? What's

1801
01:43:08.940 --> 01:43:10.100
what's the belief?

1802
01:43:11.580 --> 01:43:19.640
I guess I I'm used to men making the first move. Okay. Now, I

1803
01:43:19.640 --> 01:43:23.560
might would say to him, would you like to have coffee

1804
01:43:23.740 --> 01:43:29.660
sometime? That feels more comfortable. And I am three

1805
01:43:29.660 --> 01:43:32.720
years older than him. And who knows, he might be looking for

1806
01:43:32.720 --> 01:43:37.780
someone. I mean, this was just friends. So I'm not expecting

1807
01:43:37.780 --> 01:43:47.040
anything other than friends. Okay. Um, and so I don't know,

1808
01:43:47.680 --> 01:43:51.540
I used to be making the first move, right? So is that what

1809
01:43:51.540 --> 01:43:54.720
you're also do you think that's why you're also waiting for not

1810
01:43:54.720 --> 01:43:56.780
doing the video calls with the guys as well?

1811
01:43:57.540 --> 01:44:02.400
I don't really mind. I mean, I don't really mind asking this

1812
01:44:02.400 --> 01:44:08.040
one guy for a video call. And he seems, you know, like a

1813
01:44:08.040 --> 01:44:14.180
really solid person. And, and, and I know, there's another guy

1814
01:44:14.180 --> 01:44:20.780
that I was chatting with on meet my age, guys, and I, I kind of

1815
01:44:20.780 --> 01:44:25.240
just got bored with it. Because, I mean, there's one guy that he

1816
01:44:25.240 --> 01:44:30.340
seems really nice. And he's very encouraging and very upbeat

1817
01:44:30.340 --> 01:44:33.860
personality. And he did say in the beginning, I'd like to get

1818
01:44:33.860 --> 01:44:38.020
to, to know you better, you know, through our conversations.

1819
01:44:38.580 --> 01:44:43.800
And, um, and I and he does live locally. Okay. It does say he's

1820
01:44:43.800 --> 01:44:47.020
a Christian. I don't know. But

1821
01:44:48.420 --> 01:44:49.980
so this is more recent.

1822
01:44:50.660 --> 01:44:54.480
Yeah, it's been it's been kind of ongoing for a couple months.

1823
01:44:55.640 --> 01:44:59.920
But I kind of just been dropping off that site, maybe

1824
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.800
maybe once a week I'll get on or we were chatting like okay because he's local I

1825
01:45:05.800 --> 01:45:16.860
want you to drop that hanky too yeah I know I need to okay okay how long do you

1826
01:45:16.860 --> 01:45:24.400
need to drop it I'll try to do it today you know I mean and you don't have to do

1827
01:45:24.400 --> 01:45:30.740
today I mean can this week next Tuesday when we come on the call you're gonna

1828
01:45:32.000 --> 01:45:41.920
have let's see we've got Greg at church you're gonna ask him to coffee okay is

1829
01:45:41.920 --> 01:45:44.520
that you said that when you feel more comfortable asking him to coffee right

1830
01:45:45.020 --> 01:45:50.340
right okay so Greg you're gonna ask the coffee this other guy on meet my age

1831
01:45:50.340 --> 01:45:57.980
you're gonna drop the hanky to do you feel like you'd rather me well yeah I

1832
01:45:57.980 --> 01:46:02.660
think I would like to see let's meet him in person because he's local yeah so

1833
01:46:02.660 --> 01:46:05.980
you're gonna have you're gonna set up two dates so two in-person days they

1834
01:46:05.980 --> 01:46:09.300
don't have to be in the week okay like if they can't meet this week that's fine

1835
01:46:09.440 --> 01:46:13.860
but you're gonna drop that hanky say hey let's go do something Greg you're gonna

1836
01:46:13.860 --> 01:46:19.400
ask for coffee this guy from meet my age you're gonna ask him like hey we've

1837
01:46:19.400 --> 01:46:24.880
been on here for several months you're local why don't we go hang out and do

1838
01:46:24.880 --> 01:46:29.860
this or this yeah that's a good way either of those things yeah I like that

1839
01:46:29.860 --> 01:46:35.760
the way that okay so you're giving him two options and he gets to decide okay

1840
01:46:35.800 --> 01:46:39.180
that's a hanky drop because here's the thing he's got to pick it up they don't

1841
01:46:39.180 --> 01:46:45.320
pick it up then you don't have to fuss with it okay but you've at least put

1842
01:46:45.320 --> 01:46:51.240
you've initiated okay same thing with Greg hey I really enjoyed your company

1843
01:46:51.240 --> 01:46:56.400
when you sat next to me why don't we get to know each other like why don't why

1844
01:46:56.400 --> 01:47:03.200
don't we go grab coffee and have a conversation do you have time this week

1845
01:47:03.540 --> 01:47:07.180
do you have any availability this week I'm available this day in this day

1846
01:47:07.180 --> 01:47:14.280
either of those days work for you if not which day works okay so you're gonna do

1847
01:47:14.280 --> 01:47:20.320
that and we got to get you a video call with this Nevada guy I I need to know

1848
01:47:20.320 --> 01:47:26.760
that this guy is is actually not a scammer okay because I'm getting

1849
01:47:27.160 --> 01:47:31.720
concerned that this guy possibly could be a scammer not trying to freak you

1850
01:47:32.740 --> 01:47:37.400
out why search up thank you oh I want to make sure she said something about nap

1851
01:47:37.400 --> 01:47:42.220
suggestions so I definitely did write that down um but yeah Leah I'm just I'm

1852
01:47:42.220 --> 01:47:47.180
not trying to freak you out but I just don't want you to get to the point where

1853
01:47:47.180 --> 01:47:52.400
you're investing this time with this person because you're talking good

1854
01:47:52.400 --> 01:47:57.680
things about him like you know now I mean I don't think I necessarily love

1855
01:47:57.680 --> 01:48:02.600
the fact that he's like oh you guys don't observe this and that and all that

1856
01:48:02.600 --> 01:48:07.700
kind of stuff like oh he said he was okay with yeah I get that but we want to

1857
01:48:07.700 --> 01:48:13.600
equally yoke y'all we're all like on the same page you know again like at the

1858
01:48:13.600 --> 01:48:17.280
end of the day do y'all believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and he's

1859
01:48:17.280 --> 01:48:25.560
our Savior like like that's got like that's got to be like for sure um but um

1860
01:48:26.280 --> 01:48:32.160
I just don't want me again if he's I don't want him tiptoeing around oh well

1861
01:48:32.160 --> 01:48:36.520
I just moved I don't have internet I don't do this and that I just don't want

1862
01:48:36.520 --> 01:48:42.480
this to lead into like excuses and then he like is developing like you're oh

1863
01:48:42.480 --> 01:48:48.460
what's your favorite flower and all this and all of a sudden it's like he's like

1864
01:48:48.460 --> 01:48:54.100
gonna try to hook you and the next thing you know like they're trying to scam you

1865
01:48:55.260 --> 01:49:00.900
okay that is the only reason why I'm like let's get this video call because

1866
01:49:00.900 --> 01:49:08.980
he is not who he says he is he's gonna he's gonna dodge that video call every

1867
01:49:08.980 --> 01:49:15.240
single time and if you ask for a video call and he keeps dodging it and you're

1868
01:49:15.240 --> 01:49:19.420
like okay like I mean like I need this before we continue to move forward with

1869
01:49:19.420 --> 01:49:25.260
talking like I mean like we need to have this and if we can't have like I mean if

1870
01:49:25.260 --> 01:49:30.500
he keeps dodging it like then you're gonna have to set a firm boundary and if

1871
01:49:30.500 --> 01:49:36.740
he's dodging it then it's you gotta you gotta block them I just don't want you

1872
01:49:36.740 --> 01:49:44.080
carrying this on to to the point where you're gonna get invested in it and it's

1873
01:49:44.080 --> 01:49:54.960
gonna like wreak havoc so make sense yeah so I want that like to per Greg and

1874
01:49:54.960 --> 01:49:59.980
meet my age guy we're gonna get some we're gonna drop those hankies and then

1875
01:50:01.000 --> 01:50:03.240
You're going to drop the hanky for this video date.

1876
01:50:03.400 --> 01:50:09.460
And if this guy by Tuesday, if he has not agreed to a video date and at least given

1877
01:50:09.460 --> 01:50:16.480
you a day for a video date, then are we good saying goodbye to him?

1878
01:50:17.200 --> 01:50:17.760
Okay.

1879
01:50:18.060 --> 01:50:20.140
So that's my homework for you.

1880
01:50:21.040 --> 01:50:24.260
So next Tuesday, I want to see you.

1881
01:50:24.260 --> 01:50:32.400
And I have, I did get asked out by the 77 year old man at church again last week.

1882
01:50:32.600 --> 01:50:37.560
And then, well, and then he came up after he, and he was sitting behind me and he knew

1883
01:50:37.560 --> 01:50:41.240
that I was sitting by the, the younger guy close to my age.

1884
01:50:42.240 --> 01:50:46.520
And as soon as he walked out, he snagged me again.

1885
01:50:46.760 --> 01:50:46.940
Okay.

1886
01:50:46.940 --> 01:50:47.580
You're okay.

1887
01:50:47.580 --> 01:50:48.260
You're in Alaska.

1888
01:50:49.720 --> 01:50:50.240
Oh man.

1889
01:50:51.520 --> 01:50:52.720
I, okay.

1890
01:50:52.720 --> 01:50:56.740
One of the women that I met this weekend in Austin, and she's from Fort Worth, which is

1891
01:50:56.740 --> 01:50:57.400
close to me.

1892
01:50:58.640 --> 01:51:13.360
She is like 79 I think, and I know that Alaska and Texas are very far, but if he asked you

1893
01:51:13.360 --> 01:51:17.300
on a date or asked to go out, I mean, maybe he's not like asking him, he's just wanting

1894
01:51:17.360 --> 01:51:18.440
like friendships, right?

1895
01:51:18.440 --> 01:51:19.600
Like this guy's lonely.

1896
01:51:19.660 --> 01:51:26.740
Well, he did, he's, he asked me on a dinner date last year and it was last minute.

1897
01:51:26.740 --> 01:51:27.720
He won tickets.

1898
01:51:28.480 --> 01:51:38.080
And then he asked me, or last weekend he pulled me aside and said, he saw me on some dating

1899
01:51:38.080 --> 01:51:43.520
site and I don't know what it was and he sent me a heart and he wanted to make sure that

1900
01:51:43.520 --> 01:51:46.800
I didn't feel like he was stalking me is what he said.

1901
01:51:46.800 --> 01:51:52.380
He said, but if you're interested, he's probably being so sweet.

1902
01:51:52.980 --> 01:52:00.660
And then at the end, at the end he kind of said, but if, you know, if you want to go

1903
01:52:00.660 --> 01:52:09.440
to coffee, even as friends, you know, and so then I was busy and I, cause I kept trying

1904
01:52:09.440 --> 01:52:11.340
to decide whether I was going to or not.

1905
01:52:13.000 --> 01:52:18.520
And he's a very super social guy and he's always surrounded by lots of people doing

1906
01:52:18.520 --> 01:52:18.800
things.

1907
01:52:19.040 --> 01:52:20.780
He posts stuff on Facebook all the time.

1908
01:52:22.620 --> 01:52:33.660
And then he also asked me yesterday or Sunday, he, he asked me if I wanted to go to his care

1909
01:52:33.660 --> 01:52:35.460
group that evening with him.

1910
01:52:36.520 --> 01:52:40.560
He was bringing shrimp and so they must've been having a dinner.

1911
01:52:41.160 --> 01:52:44.120
And I'm, and I, I wasn't interested.

1912
01:52:44.740 --> 01:52:46.320
I said, not tonight.

1913
01:52:47.020 --> 01:52:50.260
He might be thinking another time, but.

1914
01:52:50.560 --> 01:52:50.840
Okay.

1915
01:52:50.840 --> 01:52:55.960
Leah, I don't, I don't think he's for you, but I think he's being highlighted to you

1916
01:52:55.960 --> 01:52:58.720
because I think you're supposed to introduce him to this community.

1917
01:52:59.300 --> 01:52:59.860
Okay.

1918
01:52:59.920 --> 01:53:03.180
Cause I think he might be a great guy.

1919
01:53:03.400 --> 01:53:03.960
Yeah.

1920
01:53:03.960 --> 01:53:08.700
I think, I think that's the only reason, like, again, y'all are in Alaska, like, yeah.

1921
01:53:08.700 --> 01:53:10.240
And there's no women at our church.

1922
01:53:10.240 --> 01:53:10.800
That's what I'm saying.

1923
01:53:10.860 --> 01:53:16.640
I think, I think he's being highlighted to you because it's possible that his person

1924
01:53:16.640 --> 01:53:17.700
is in here.

1925
01:53:18.420 --> 01:53:22.580
Y'all like, we have a lot of women that are in, I mean, I'm telling you this woman that

1926
01:53:22.580 --> 01:53:27.780
I met, he was just like, I'm older, it's not here for me, whatever.

1927
01:53:28.200 --> 01:53:30.160
I'm surrounded by all the younger girls here.

1928
01:53:30.200 --> 01:53:36.780
And I'm like, oh man, I'm like, no, we have like a lot of our success stories are not

1929
01:53:36.780 --> 01:53:38.860
from like the little 20 and 30 year old girls.

1930
01:53:39.920 --> 01:53:41.680
I'm like, it, we are the older ones.

1931
01:53:41.720 --> 01:53:44.580
I'm like, I didn't get engaged until I was 40 and I'd never been married before.

1932
01:53:44.640 --> 01:53:45.340
I mean, look at Renee.

1933
01:53:45.600 --> 01:53:49.380
She's, I don't even know how old Renee is actually, but she's never been married and

1934
01:53:49.380 --> 01:53:50.140
she just got married.

1935
01:53:51.160 --> 01:53:55.540
Like it's, it's not all the 20 and 30 somethings y'all.

1936
01:53:55.580 --> 01:53:56.460
It's not.

1937
01:53:57.860 --> 01:54:01.520
And so I think you're supposed to introduce him to this community.

1938
01:54:04.640 --> 01:54:14.460
Because I, I'm like, I kid you not that what, like, I, I thought to myself, oh, 77, okay.

1939
01:54:14.460 --> 01:54:14.820
Okay.

1940
01:54:14.820 --> 01:54:15.520
I'm like, okay.

1941
01:54:15.520 --> 01:54:16.220
You see it.

1942
01:54:16.220 --> 01:54:17.420
He definitely is older than you.

1943
01:54:17.480 --> 01:54:23.420
I'm like, but then I remembered, I met a woman this weekend in our community that is in her

1944
01:54:23.420 --> 01:54:24.160
late seventies.

1945
01:54:25.300 --> 01:54:27.260
I'm like, so they're out there.

1946
01:54:28.260 --> 01:54:37.180
And Jackie made such a point this week and at the party to really talk to everyone in

1947
01:54:37.180 --> 01:54:43.540
our community about be on the lookout for your single brothers and sisters.

1948
01:54:45.540 --> 01:54:49.420
That was something that God wanted her to do five years ago.

1949
01:54:51.900 --> 01:54:57.340
And she, like one thing that she's always said in this community, and you might've heard

1950
01:54:57.340 --> 01:54:59.980
her say this ladies, what you make happen.

1951
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:06.580
What you help make happen for others, God will make happen for you."

1952
01:55:06.580 --> 01:55:10.060
And she challenged the people at the party this weekend,

1953
01:55:13.340 --> 01:55:17.060
pray for other people's spirit mates.

1954
01:55:17.940 --> 01:55:20.720
Be looking out for each other's spirit mates.

1955
01:55:22.540 --> 01:55:29.260
So I think maybe, just maybe, his spirit mate is in here.

1956
01:55:30.540 --> 01:55:34.060
And you're gonna help make that happen, and then God's gonna make it happen for you.

1957
01:55:35.960 --> 01:55:37.400
So you got a lot of homework, Leah.

1958
01:55:38.860 --> 01:55:39.680
Are you ready?

1959
01:55:42.340 --> 01:55:43.000
All right.

1960
01:55:43.080 --> 01:55:45.480
Well, I'm gonna be checking up with you next Tuesday, okay?

1961
01:55:45.560 --> 01:55:48.260
And then post, ladies post, okay?

1962
01:55:48.420 --> 01:55:49.540
Thanks for sticking out with me.

1963
01:55:49.540 --> 01:55:50.820
I know it was extra long.

1964
01:55:51.560 --> 01:55:53.640
Thank you to all those that are watching and replay as well.

1965
01:55:53.840 --> 01:55:57.360
I hope that you all are blessed this week.

1966
01:55:59.440 --> 01:56:02.920
And I so appreciate each and every one of you.

1967
01:56:04.680 --> 01:56:08.340
Yes, so I will see you all next week, and I will see you in the app.

1968
01:56:08.820 --> 01:56:09.500
Post, post, post.

1969
01:56:10.100 --> 01:56:10.480
Bye, Mika.

1970
01:56:10.960 --> 01:56:13.380
Bye, Carol Jean, Liz, and Stephanie.

1971
01:56:13.860 --> 01:56:15.100
All right, have a great day, ladies.