WEBVTT

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There we go.

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Okay. We are recording.

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Awesome. So yes, I have Damaris,

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she's brand new and yes,

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Laura and I got to meet in Austin.

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It was such a wonderful,

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beautiful, amazing time in Austin.

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Ladies, if there's ever an opportunity for you all to get

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to like a last year single trip or some sort of retreat,

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or to get together with other women in this community,

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I cannot stress enough just how important

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and like life-changing it really is.

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I've been in this community since the very beginning

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in 2020 when Jackie, you know, took this leap of faith

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and posted an ad on Facebook in the middle of, you know,

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COVID and I, you know,

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I was a little bit resistant to it,

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but there was something supernatural

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and something so divine on her message.

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And, you know, God just prompted me and y'all,

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he's been working on me since.

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And, you know, obviously he's written my love story,

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but ladies, he will continue to write your love story.

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Continue, okay?

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So yes, for those of you ladies that don't know me,

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I am Carla Johnson.

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I am one of your coaches here at last year single.

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I have been in the community four or five years since 2020.

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I met my husband at the end of 2022,

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which again, that was pretty, pretty godly,

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pretty, pretty incredible community-based matchmaking

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from this community at its finest.

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So we'll definitely encourage you ladies

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to get connected with this community for that purpose

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and for that reason.

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And yeah, and so then we got married September 3rd of 2023,

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and we've been married now a little over two years

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and God is still using this community to work

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in my love story and to use heartwork in all the things.

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And so, like I said, things that I was able to share

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with the ladies on the retreat,

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it was really humbling and just a blessing for me

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to be able to experience being on the other side

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of my love story, if you will,

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and being able to witness those ladies experiencing

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a retreat that I got to experience.

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And, you know, it's just really, it was really powerful.

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And so I just encourage if there's ever an opportunity

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for you ladies to do so, please, please do it.

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God will make a way for you.

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If God puts it on your heart, do it.

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But yeah, it was very, it was a wonderful time.

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Like I said, I got to look at it from a different lens

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and see what God was doing

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and then know what God was going to continue to do

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for these women once they did meet their, you know,

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when they do meet their husbands,

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because God was working even on my heart that weekend

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and in my marriage and what God has been calling

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into my destiny DNA and things that he's been doing

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in my blended family and our lives.

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And so, and how he used that retreat

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to just highlight certain things.

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And so it's just absolutely incredible.

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So like I said, get connected in this community, ladies,

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if you haven't already, you won't regret it.

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It will be life-changing, you'll get breakthroughs

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and it is absolutely phenomenal.

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So, but yes, I see hands up.

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Okay, so I got Mika, Alexandra,

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because we talked on the app.

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I got Leah, she's going to give me an update.

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Lori, I definitely so glad you came on

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because I was just telling the ladies before you jumped on,

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I want to clear the air

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because I definitely apologize for how I miscommunicated.

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And I totally, totally wanna make sure that I correct that.

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I went back and read what I responded and was like,

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oh yeah, I guess it sounded like I thought

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that was a yellow flag when really that was a red flag.

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And I don't want any ladies to get confused

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by what I meant there.

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So I definitely am thankful that you're gonna

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share what happened so we can dig into that.

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I know Kim's probably got an update for us

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and then Stephanie, I want to unpack some more with you

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as to what happened with you.

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And then anybody else, if you have any questions

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about if you are dating right now

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and you have any dating questions

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and if you're not dating right now

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and you have any questions,

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heartwork things or you have concerns or fears or celebrations or just anything that's happening

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that God is highlighting to you like share it like this is what this time is for okay um

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this phase is a smaller phase for you ladies as you go from phase one and doing the heartwork

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as you kind of move and transition into dating but before you head into that phase three group

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which is a much larger community okay and so we understand how the transition can you know

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open up some more heart areas that need to be healed and how intimidating or um that heartwork

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can kind of be like oh wow I did not expect that to come up and so we just want to make this a

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place for you to be able to come and just get a little bit more of time and attention from myself

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and ebony some coaches here at last year single before um kind of going into the larger group

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where um it's a there's a lot more people where some of us that like how I was before can sometimes

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not always want to share everything with a whole big group of people that I still don't know very

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well um so when I came in the program it was more like this smaller size community like what phase

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two was like so if I were to join now and had gone into phase three and had as many I probably

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wouldn't have been as open so um ladies definitely spend time here don't rush through phase two

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um I hope you didn't rush through phase one if you did don't worry I'm one of your coaches that

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will heart work you too okay I'm one of the girls that will do that don't worry um because

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heart work you never graduate from all right you will continue to grow and heal and um

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pull layers out because God is constantly working on those those layers and healing and growing and

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upgrading you okay so um yes let's get started I'm going to quickly pray for us I got lots of

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hands today because I got lots of ladies on this is good good good good um Lori I see that you have

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to get off so yes um you can be quick and you got that appointment so yes let's definitely unpack

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that and then yes Stephanie um we can talk about phase three as well okay um and Ashley you're at

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a new workspace so you're not able to chat okay totally cool um you set up a profile on arc and

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had two matches that's awesome um I love it perfect so yes anything that we cover today

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Ashley I know if you can't unmute put your questions any of that stuff in the app ladies

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if we can't get to you always come to the app okay um so know that here on these Tuesday calls

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and the app always important work them both together just because you come to the zoom calls

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doesn't mean that you can't come on the app and just because you come to the app doesn't mean we

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don't want you trying to cut not come to the zoom calls we get scheduling conflicts sometimes happen

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but if there's a chance at least every couple weeks to come to a Tuesday call try try try to

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Tuesday calls super important okay me in the afternoons ebony in the evenings sometimes I do

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my best to try to get into at least one evening one at least once every month or two sometimes

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it's three I should be able to do that better because my son is now off of fall baseball so

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hopefully I can make a few evening ones um from time from time to time until he gets in his spring

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baseball um but if you can only make one watch the other one in replay if you can't make either

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watch both of them in replay okay um so I think that's about it for probably housekeeping stuff

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um okay you have to go as well okay you have to wait to update me okay and then you can I know

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you also Sam you posted a few things so I'm I think I caught up on some I might have missed one

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I know if ebony is replied I'm going through and seeing what ebony reply because sometimes

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I don't see those so I am making an effort to go through

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and make sure I read the ones that even Ebony replied to so that I stay up to date,

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because I know she even does the same thing when I reply to you all.

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She's always going into making sure that she's catching up as well.

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So, but yeah, definitely keep me posted and updated.

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I think I touched base with the one guy that you,

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you were like, he's not for me because he was older,

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but we want to do this community-based matchmaking ladies.

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So when you're out meeting guys or guys are connecting with you and you're like,

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okay, you're out of my age range, or I'm not, you might get to know him a little bit.

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And you're like, okay, you're not my person, but you're really nice.

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Introduce him to our community. Be looking out for your sisters.

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Okay. That was something that Jackie shared with us at the anniversary party.

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Okay. That happened to me and my love story.

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One of my sisters here in the community,

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she happened to see my husband's profile on some Facebook group.

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She screenshot all of his little photos and everything that he said in his profile thing

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and sent it to me. Like she messaged it to me.

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She's like, Hey, what do you think? Okay.

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And y'all, it was during a time and I was just like tore up from the floor up.

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I was like, this ain't happening for me. Like I'm done.

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I've been in this program for over two years. It's not happening.

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But she was just like, just check it out.

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I was like, you know what, anything's worth a shot, like whatever.

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But I wasn't super hopeful about it, but I was just like, whatever.

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I'll be willing to be made willing. Right.

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Okay. And then the rest is history.

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Okay. And that's obviously I could go in on the details, but we don't have time for that.

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So be looking out for your sisters though. Okay.

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That's what you make happen for others. God can make happen for you.

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So keep that in mind.

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This is new on health phase two calls work.

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Usually I will be a listener in the morning because I'm at work,

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but be more interactive in the afternoon. Totally fine.

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Totally fine. If you want to come in and listen to me,

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and then if you want to jump in on Ebony's calls in the afternoon,

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where you actually have the ability to talk and ask her questions,

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and she can give you feedback by all means do that.

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I actually encourage you ladies to listen or come to both.

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You can't come to both, at least listen to both.

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Because all these questions are going to be different based on who's coming.

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So keep that in mind. Awesome.

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Thank you, Laura. I so appreciate that.

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So yeah, Laura probably got to hear an earful of my story weekend.

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I got to share a little bit more.

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So with the ladies on the retreat.

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Okay. I think I covered everybody here.

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All right. So let me quickly pray.

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And then Lori, I will take you and then we'll just, we'll get the ball rolling.

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Okay. We'll be a short, brief and powerful as possible.

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And y'all that are on with me often know that that is difficult for me.

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So, all right, we'll do our best. Okay.

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For those of you that know, you know, all right.

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Father, I just thank you for this community of women in this phase, Lord.

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I just thank you for just their vulnerability.

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I thank you for just their open hearts, God.

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I thank you just for Jackie and David and this community.

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And just, you know, everyone that pours their wisdom, their heart,

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they're just, you know, they're just everything, their vulnerability, everything.

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And they just laid at your feet, God.

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I just, I thank you for that.

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You are on the move.

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You are totally in this and, you know, nothing is wasted, Lord.

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And I just thank you for that.

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I think, you know, in the highs and the lows that you are just in it all, all the time,

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you know, and that's just, it's your promise.

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It's, you're just with us.

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And so, Lord, I just, I'm asking that you just release this supernatural hope

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and that these women take hold of what you are speaking

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in their lives right now, in the spirit, in the prophetic God.

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Lord, allow them to embrace and absorb that word that the siege is over.

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All of the enemies attack, everything that was keeping things from

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coming in or going out, Lord, that is gone, Lord, that it is just gone.

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And that now they can start stepping into the inheritance that you gave them,

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not in their own doing, Lord, but because of what your son did on the cross for us, Lord.

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That we don't do it in our strength, but we do it in what Jesus did for us

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So Lord, I just thank you for that

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That we we don't have to strive

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That we don't have to live in these generational curses because the inheritance is

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Stronger and more powerful than the curses so Lord I ask that you just release

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this supernatural

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hope and faith and

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just

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encouragement

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Over each and every one of these ladies on the call today and that are listening and replay and just everyone in this community

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that Lord they start receiving your blessings your generational blessings your

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Inheritance Lord that they're gonna start stepping in to all that you already have for them

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Not because of what they've done

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But because of all of those that were in their family line that were a friend to you

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That have already prayed for them

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that Lord

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Let all of those mantles

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Be put on them to have them carry out

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Give them the grace and the favor to step into those callings Lord

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You have the victory you have it all Lord and I just thank you for that. So just be with us today, Lord

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I just ask that you come into the space that you speak through

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Myself and anybody else on this call and that we just hear your your truth your wisdom your knowledge your love your joy

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All of it in Jesus name. Amen

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All right

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All right, I think Ashley you said I did think of a question I figure it's mostly preference but how much younger than is

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Normal, the app automatically did ten years. Okay. So yes, we'll get to that

234
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But I do want to get to Laurie before she has to go because she's got I think probably like five or ten minutes

235
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All right, Laurie update us and then I want to clear the air about yellow and red flags

236
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Hey girl

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I gotta get my notes out eating a quick bite. Okay, so

238
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Just a quick I met a guy online and we really hit it off and but things went super fast and

239
00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:41.740
Definitely was love-bombing. Okay, even though you know, I did enjoy the space of like

240
00:17:42.620 --> 00:17:43.220
Um

241
00:17:44.420 --> 00:17:49.780
You know, I felt all the things before he gave me the compliments like I felt inside and

242
00:17:50.600 --> 00:17:54.340
so it wasn't like I felt like he took anything away

243
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from me like I

244
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felt beautiful when I showed up and I

245
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Was but I was beautiful before he told me

246
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and so I don't feel I don't feel like any of the things like that he said or the compliments were like

247
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um

248
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Yeah, anyway, yeah, um

249
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Yeah, it was fast. He you know, just throughout the conversation, you know, every time something came up. I'm like, oh no

250
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like

251
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like so

252
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obvious like, you know

253
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the invitation to Chicago

254
00:18:33.760 --> 00:18:36.060
After we'd had one date

255
00:18:36.700 --> 00:18:42.480
To go on a design trip with this client and I'm I was just like totally joking

256
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I'm like, well, what would you call me? And he's like, well girlfriend and I'm like, oh man

257
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I think that you know, the interesting thing is like I could sense that he was gonna invite me and

258
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Yeah, I just felt the Lord's covering on so much and I think you know

259
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Then you know the girlfriend and then he said sweetie and I kept on setting boundaries and the difference was it's like so I

260
00:19:08.260 --> 00:19:16.280
Feel like released to not try to figure out what it was. Yeah, I don't know if he's I

261
00:19:16.280 --> 00:19:19.680
Don't need to label him. I mean do I see patterns that feel

262
00:19:20.080 --> 00:19:22.580
scary and do I see

263
00:19:22.580 --> 00:19:31.060
Things that will not produce good fruit and do I feel like I'm having to protect my boundaries over and over again and like

264
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logistics on how would we get to know each other and like

265
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So like if you stayed with me, would you?

266
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Would you want me to get a guest bed? And I'm like, this is like all like so

267
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So like, you know, it's that thought of like being pursued and like, you know being chosen

268
00:19:51.260 --> 00:19:53.860
And I'm like but chosen by

269
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But also keeping this in the frame of mind that this feels like test number two

270
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.820
and so I feel like I'm also not taking it personally and so it was just kind of

271
00:20:05.820 --> 00:20:11.960
like playing pickleball do you want to come and stay at this like like at the

272
00:20:12.020 --> 00:20:18.480
Visceroy in Chicago this is like this high-end hotel and it's like no do you

273
00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:22.540
want to stay overnight no I'm a tennis player my son I've only played

274
00:20:22.540 --> 00:20:27.260
pickleball once and and so like I do with both hands and anyway it's just

275
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like batting it was just like these questions of like will you do this will

276
00:20:31.660 --> 00:20:40.280
you let your guard down here is this okay and it was like no no no and it

277
00:20:40.280 --> 00:20:45.860
like kept on and I'm like wow like I don't trust you to lead our relationship

278
00:20:45.860 --> 00:20:53.480
in a holy way and as much as you represent all these great like you're an

279
00:20:53.720 --> 00:20:58.500
architect and he's got award-winning designs and the dream of like having a

280
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format and like all these like shared dreams and like so great but this like

281
00:21:09.380 --> 00:21:19.880
this like soulish and and I'm like my husband he may have all those things he

282
00:21:20.040 --> 00:21:24.780
have some of those things but it's just like left me in this space it's like

283
00:21:25.540 --> 00:21:32.960
it's taken down the facade is what it's done and I gave myself eight hours and

284
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:40.400
just took some space after I posted and then I I actually went back in and said

285
00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:50.480
I'm like yellow flag and I'm like wow I I feel like you know I'm really feel like

286
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:55.780
I'm quite awake because I have accountability and to show up every week

287
00:21:55.780 --> 00:22:08.860
and like okay what's what's going on and this doesn't look like my kinsmen

288
00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:16.220
temptation after temptation after temptation yeah and it's like as I said no no no no

289
00:22:17.760 --> 00:22:23.540
and it's like this facade of like this image of a man feels like it's just been torn down

290
00:22:24.600 --> 00:22:31.240
and I had the I've been seeing Joshua one one and it was like 111 and you will cross over in

291
00:22:31.240 --> 00:22:39.280
days and I've crossed over and it didn't necessarily and you know my husband manifesting

292
00:22:39.500 --> 00:22:46.400
and now my prayers have changed from like Lord like I want some you know like all these things

293
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:51.980
that are beautiful in and of themselves and they're good things but now it's like Lord give

294
00:22:51.980 --> 00:23:00.080
me a man who's burning for you give me a man who desires your heart give me a man who's got a pure

295
00:23:00.080 --> 00:23:09.460
heart that's been purified in the fire give me that man yes so it's like so I did go back and

296
00:23:09.460 --> 00:23:15.760
offer up say hey I've been quiet thanks for the time and space process and I did I thought well

297
00:23:15.760 --> 00:23:23.520
I feel strong enough and also thinking okay if this is a yellow flag I feel strong and awake

298
00:23:23.520 --> 00:23:32.960
enough to offer up a conversation but he just messaged the next day and said I I don't feel I

299
00:23:33.700 --> 00:23:41.940
don't think I want to go do long distance again and so it was this big promise of all these this

300
00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:49.320
future and how we could figure it out and oh yeah and it was at that point that I thought the Lord

301
00:23:49.320 --> 00:23:57.760
told me that first round that first test was I felt like I had to fight and he told me not by

302
00:23:57.760 --> 00:24:08.860
my nor by power but by my spirit and what I did was came into a line and said no and the beautiful

303
00:24:08.860 --> 00:24:17.000
thing was as I didn't like have to karate chop it I didn't have to be like like Satan get away from

304
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:25.820
me this was like resting in the spirit and he fought for me and it dropped off and I literally

305
00:24:25.820 --> 00:24:35.240
crossed over and he it was his spirit and I don't want that and I mean I'm still processing through

306
00:24:35.240 --> 00:24:42.720
the fact that he told me he was single for three years and he's definitely just I saw a picture on

307
00:24:42.930 --> 00:24:47.590
Facebook and I know I'm not supposed to go on there but he's definitely only been single for a

308
00:24:47.590 --> 00:24:57.930
year but you know here's the thing like that whole thing is a lie the whole thing is a mirage it's not

309
00:24:58.190 --> 00:24:58.670
reality

310
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.000
And it's not truth.

311
00:25:05.600 --> 00:25:06.400
Yeah, and

312
00:25:08.080 --> 00:25:11.460
All right, I'm getting lots of things yeah, okay

313
00:25:12.080 --> 00:25:15.200
So first I do want to clear up. Okay. So yeah when you were like

314
00:25:16.120 --> 00:25:21.500
It's a yellow flag not a red and I'm like did I say it was just a yellow flag and I went back and I

315
00:25:21.500 --> 00:25:25.940
Read my stuff and I'm like I went back and read yours and then I went back in my mind

316
00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:32.640
I'm like, oh, I guess I did say that and I'm thinking why would I have said that and so I think what I was referring

317
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:34.580
to with the yellow flags is I

318
00:25:35.580 --> 00:25:40.300
Think when I read your and again because I had responded to this like about a week ago

319
00:25:40.300 --> 00:25:42.760
I think yeah, and I was going back and I'm like

320
00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:45.620
When I was responding to this, what was I thinking?

321
00:25:46.660 --> 00:25:49.900
when I was reading through what you had shared I

322
00:25:51.940 --> 00:25:54.740
Think I was responding to more of

323
00:25:55.940 --> 00:26:03.180
The guy kind of being more like this man being more of the exhilarated like kind of just sharing what what he wants and and he

324
00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:07.020
It was it felt more exhilarated

325
00:26:07.600 --> 00:26:10.380
Yeah, and what I was sensing is this

326
00:26:11.480 --> 00:26:17.720
More of this fear like oh, I'm being love-bombed. So I'm gonna put up a wall and so that I was like

327
00:26:17.720 --> 00:26:18.880
Well, hold on a second

328
00:26:19.620 --> 00:26:25.920
We don't want to just jump to conclusions. Okay, so that's what I was responding to at first

329
00:26:25.940 --> 00:26:30.720
But as you continue to keep writing I did I kept posting

330
00:26:31.280 --> 00:26:37.440
I'm like no like this guy is pushing physical boundaries and you started sharing more of that stuff

331
00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:44.460
I'm like, oh no, and then and then I think in my post in that same post I express I'm like, however

332
00:26:45.320 --> 00:26:47.740
This guy is sharing about a guest bedroom

333
00:26:48.600 --> 00:26:55.540
Like he's now exposing himself like those first little indicators where your thought Oh red flag

334
00:26:55.940 --> 00:26:58.780
I'm like, well, that wouldn't have been the red flag there

335
00:26:58.820 --> 00:27:05.920
the red flag comes when he's now starting to push the boundary of the physical stuff and saying Oh

336
00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:10.620
Guest bedroom. Oh come with me here. Oh, this is gonna be hard to not be physical

337
00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:20.060
No, he said like ladies. He said he didn't want let me be clear. I don't want to get involved physical physically early and

338
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:28.060
Early but what's his definition? Yeah. Yeah, and he asked me if I wanted to wait if I wanted to wait until marriage

339
00:27:28.060 --> 00:27:30.220
And he said he did but he said it would be hard

340
00:27:31.540 --> 00:27:32.180
so

341
00:27:33.560 --> 00:27:39.720
Yeah, everybody might have good intentions about waiting for marriage it's gonna make somebody who's convicted

342
00:27:40.460 --> 00:27:48.600
That you've been on one day is already telling you. Yeah. Oh, this is gonna be really hard. Oh

343
00:27:48.600 --> 00:27:53.400
We have this connection. Oh, I want you to come to Chicago with me. Oh, are we gonna get ladies?

344
00:27:54.940 --> 00:27:55.460
this

345
00:27:56.260 --> 00:27:58.200
Yeah, he might have all

346
00:27:59.220 --> 00:28:01.760
the intention of wanting to hold that

347
00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:05.900
But ladies if a man is telling you it's gonna be difficult

348
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:10.740
It's gonna be difficult. All right, you are

349
00:28:11.820 --> 00:28:15.740
It is I think it is gonna be I think it's gonna be

350
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:22.020
My word it is very difficult like once you meet and you're engaged to your husband

351
00:28:22.360 --> 00:28:25.540
Somebody you're gonna marry. Oh y'all it's difficult

352
00:28:26.280 --> 00:28:29.520
like you have to really

353
00:28:30.340 --> 00:28:36.580
Make sure you both are holding each other accountable. You need a man that is going to

354
00:28:37.940 --> 00:28:42.480
Make sure that he's gonna have the self-control as well

355
00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:45.940
Well, yeah comes out and says oh

356
00:28:45.940 --> 00:28:52.360
Yes, this is priority my protecting you and us. I will do that

357
00:28:52.360 --> 00:28:59.960
I am the patient ladies is going to be there and it's not just gonna come from the man. It's gonna come from y'all, too

358
00:29:00.560 --> 00:29:02.640
Ladies that have that

359
00:29:04.100 --> 00:29:05.720
Have experienced it before

360
00:29:06.600 --> 00:29:09.980
Okay, and there's no there's no shame ladies. I

361
00:29:09.980 --> 00:29:16.940
Am the I am the last person that would be throwing any shame towards anybody because if y'all know my story I

362
00:29:17.980 --> 00:29:20.380
Was a single mom and I was never married before

363
00:29:20.980 --> 00:29:24.480
So they ain't no shame being thrown from me. Okay

364
00:29:25.540 --> 00:29:31.540
If anything I can totally relate and I can totally relate to always being feeling shame because of it

365
00:29:32.120 --> 00:29:36.460
that was something God had to work in my heart and I had to forgive myself for and

366
00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:38.840
And

367
00:29:39.700 --> 00:29:42.680
Because I use that as a whole identity thing to that

368
00:29:42.680 --> 00:29:47.600
I didn't think guys wanted to date me and there were actually Christian guys that didn't date me because I

369
00:29:48.640 --> 00:29:50.180
Would never been married and I had a kid

370
00:29:50.660 --> 00:29:54.980
Christian men did not want to be with me because I had a kid and I'd never been married

371
00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:59.980
And you know I that was that was sometimes a tough pill to swallow made me

372
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.100
feel like I wasn't worthy, I was damaged goods, y'all.

373
00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:05.780
But that's not true.

374
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:08.120
That's what the enemy wanted me to believe.

375
00:30:08.820 --> 00:30:11.360
What I had to do is heal from that trauma

376
00:30:11.360 --> 00:30:13.100
that put me in that place,

377
00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:15.380
those lies that I believed about myself

378
00:30:15.380 --> 00:30:18.320
that got me making choices that I did.

379
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:20.620
And I had to break that off

380
00:30:20.620 --> 00:30:22.780
and start believing the truth that God said I was.

381
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:24.380
And he redeemed that for me.

382
00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:27.460
So there's never any shame there,

383
00:30:27.460 --> 00:30:28.400
but that's what I'm saying.

384
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:29.900
Lori, like, I don't,

385
00:30:30.020 --> 00:30:33.520
so that was where the whole yellow, red misconfusion came.

386
00:30:34.040 --> 00:30:35.660
So again, my apologies.

387
00:30:35.940 --> 00:30:38.060
I want to clear the air that, no,

388
00:30:38.180 --> 00:30:39.700
that guy was showing red flags.

389
00:30:41.120 --> 00:30:41.680
100%.

390
00:30:42.460 --> 00:30:45.480
At first it was like the yellow flag is like, oh.

391
00:30:45.700 --> 00:30:47.500
Oh, I kept adding to my,

392
00:30:47.580 --> 00:30:49.660
I think I posted like 10 times.

393
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:52.620
No, these are red flags.

394
00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:55.780
So I apologize for that confusion.

395
00:30:55.780 --> 00:30:58.100
A few more things, because I do know you have to go

396
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.720
and I have lots more ladies that want to share.

397
00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:07.300
I really strongly, again, I wrote a lot down,

398
00:31:07.320 --> 00:31:09.040
so I'm gonna try to quickly get through this.

399
00:31:09.660 --> 00:31:13.500
I think before when you were dating,

400
00:31:13.800 --> 00:31:19.500
I think your tendency was to get caught up

401
00:31:19.500 --> 00:31:21.400
in all of that very, very easily.

402
00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:22.040
Would you agree?

403
00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:23.760
I think some of those other,

404
00:31:23.760 --> 00:31:26.520
early on, several months ago when we were sharing

405
00:31:26.520 --> 00:31:27.820
about some of the guys you were dating,

406
00:31:28.620 --> 00:31:30.300
you got infatuated very quickly.

407
00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:31.520
Yes.

408
00:31:31.520 --> 00:31:33.320
You've had a lot of breakthroughs since then.

409
00:31:33.380 --> 00:31:33.860
Yes.

410
00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:36.120
For those of you that are new,

411
00:31:36.940 --> 00:31:40.560
Lori has really done a lot of hard work

412
00:31:40.660 --> 00:31:45.020
and she is really showing up and sharing her experiences

413
00:31:45.320 --> 00:31:46.980
and diving in with the Lord

414
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:50.360
and really allowing every one of these dating experiences

415
00:31:50.360 --> 00:31:55.360
that she's going through to really sit with the Lord with.

416
00:31:56.520 --> 00:31:59.600
And because of that, because of the dedication

417
00:31:59.600 --> 00:32:03.280
and the commitment that she is choosing for herself

418
00:32:03.280 --> 00:32:05.220
and the partnership and the alignment

419
00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:07.080
that she's choosing to do with the Lord,

420
00:32:07.740 --> 00:32:11.000
we are seeing incredible breakthrough for her.

421
00:32:11.660 --> 00:32:13.400
And so each and every one of you,

422
00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:16.040
that's right there for you too.

423
00:32:16.540 --> 00:32:20.040
It's the invitation is right there, okay?

424
00:32:20.040 --> 00:32:22.280
So don't think that it's just happening for Lori.

425
00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:26.840
That is literally over this entire community, okay?

426
00:32:27.960 --> 00:32:30.260
So before she'd get caught up in this

427
00:32:30.260 --> 00:32:32.360
and now she's starting to recognize

428
00:32:32.360 --> 00:32:33.900
and the healing is starting to show

429
00:32:33.900 --> 00:32:35.840
as she's interacting with these guys.

430
00:32:36.680 --> 00:32:38.680
God is allowing her to see the counterfeit.

431
00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:41.580
Like that's what I said.

432
00:32:41.620 --> 00:32:43.720
Like you're recognizing these flags

433
00:32:43.800 --> 00:32:45.580
and you're getting these checks

434
00:32:45.760 --> 00:32:48.380
because you're in line with the Holy Spirit now.

435
00:32:49.060 --> 00:32:51.160
You've gotten some healing under your belt.

436
00:32:52.280 --> 00:32:52.360
Yeah.

437
00:32:52.360 --> 00:32:54.040
And so you're able to see that.

438
00:32:54.280 --> 00:32:56.960
And the one thing that like I really felt

439
00:32:57.160 --> 00:32:59.140
when you were sharing this,

440
00:32:59.760 --> 00:33:02.340
and it reminds me of the story

441
00:33:02.340 --> 00:33:05.500
that my husband shared with me when we met

442
00:33:05.760 --> 00:33:07.680
and we decided to get married

443
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:11.760
is that what God shared with him

444
00:33:11.760 --> 00:33:15.260
is how the enemy will like to come in

445
00:33:15.260 --> 00:33:17.080
right before God wants to come in

446
00:33:17.080 --> 00:33:20.600
and give you what he's got for you.

447
00:33:20.740 --> 00:33:22.860
The enemy is gonna wanna come in

448
00:33:22.860 --> 00:33:28.860
and try to literally show you the exact same thing

449
00:33:28.860 --> 00:33:29.900
but it's a counterfeit.

450
00:33:30.480 --> 00:33:34.960
It's going to look like the promise that God has for you

451
00:33:34.960 --> 00:33:36.520
but it is a deception.

452
00:33:37.220 --> 00:33:37.600
Yeah.

453
00:33:37.600 --> 00:33:38.640
It is a counterfeit.

454
00:33:39.260 --> 00:33:39.920
It is a lie.

455
00:33:39.940 --> 00:33:42.320
Yeah, because it had all so many things.

456
00:33:42.540 --> 00:33:43.100
It shows.

457
00:33:43.100 --> 00:33:44.760
Now I'm swiping and I'm like,

458
00:33:44.860 --> 00:33:46.240
what do you think, Holy Spirit?

459
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:48.940
Like, help me to see, help me to see.

460
00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:52.080
So she's using, she's pouring into the Lord

461
00:33:52.080 --> 00:33:53.700
and she's coming to community.

462
00:33:54.560 --> 00:33:58.200
She's sitting with these things and with Holy Spirit.

463
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:01.300
She's bringing these situations with Holy Spirit

464
00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:03.880
and into the community and she's getting,

465
00:34:04.140 --> 00:34:05.120
okay, I want wisdom.

466
00:34:05.340 --> 00:34:06.480
I want discernment.

467
00:34:06.540 --> 00:34:07.220
Yeah.

468
00:34:08.280 --> 00:34:10.120
That's what's different now.

469
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:11.120
Yeah.

470
00:34:11.120 --> 00:34:13.820
She's utilizing the heart work tools.

471
00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:14.560
Yeah.

472
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:18.520
And she's getting revelation after revelation, y'all.

473
00:34:19.540 --> 00:34:20.920
Like God is showing up.

474
00:34:21.080 --> 00:34:23.760
And so I felt strongly about that.

475
00:34:24.020 --> 00:34:27.699
And so again, you're seeing the patterns.

476
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:30.659
So where is the, like, and here's the thing.

477
00:34:30.940 --> 00:34:34.280
These were all good questions that I think he was asking

478
00:34:34.420 --> 00:34:39.120
but like you said, they were happening too fast.

479
00:34:39.620 --> 00:34:39.860
Yeah.

480
00:34:39.860 --> 00:34:42.199
And things can be accelerated but again,

481
00:34:42.199 --> 00:34:44.679
if you have that and you're coming to community

482
00:34:44.679 --> 00:34:46.280
and you're like, no, some,

483
00:34:46.280 --> 00:34:48.719
like God is not giving me this peace.

484
00:34:49.300 --> 00:34:49.860
Yeah.

485
00:34:49.860 --> 00:34:51.480
And we're talking through it.

486
00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:53.540
Okay, you're working with coaches.

487
00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:55.520
We're getting to heart work stuff.

488
00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:56.179
Okay.

489
00:34:57.080 --> 00:34:59.440
And you even said like, okay.

490
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.600
This is test number two, right?

491
00:35:03.220 --> 00:35:05.060
I'm not taking it personally anymore.

492
00:35:05.740 --> 00:35:10.240
Yeah, it's like resist the devil and he will flee from you.

493
00:35:10.260 --> 00:35:12.120
Now, I'm not saying that guy was that,

494
00:35:12.320 --> 00:35:14.140
but there's a, it's a spirit.

495
00:35:14.460 --> 00:35:14.900
Yeah.

496
00:35:15.140 --> 00:35:16.700
And, and so.

497
00:35:16.900 --> 00:35:19.260
We're not, we're not dealing with flesh and blood y'all.

498
00:35:19.720 --> 00:35:22.540
And, and whether, you know, whatever, if, you know,

499
00:35:22.540 --> 00:35:24.860
we want to put labels, not on a person,

500
00:35:24.980 --> 00:35:29.800
but on a behavior pattern and, and just say, you know what,

501
00:35:31.380 --> 00:35:33.720
yeah, I'm trying to think what I was going to say.

502
00:35:34.060 --> 00:35:35.100
I have one more thing too.

503
00:35:35.180 --> 00:35:36.660
Cause you were talking about the first round,

504
00:35:36.780 --> 00:35:38.260
you felt like you had a fight and I'm sitting here,

505
00:35:38.340 --> 00:35:41.060
like literally a boxing match where you feel like

506
00:35:41.060 --> 00:35:42.100
you're having the one.

507
00:35:42.580 --> 00:35:43.400
Instant gratification.

508
00:35:43.740 --> 00:35:47.740
If denying instant gratification and the spirit falls off.

509
00:35:48.380 --> 00:35:48.840
Yeah.

510
00:35:49.720 --> 00:35:52.120
So it's all these things, you know,

511
00:35:52.120 --> 00:35:56.900
all this picture of this incredible fun.

512
00:35:56.900 --> 00:35:59.760
And all these things.

513
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:01.360
Cause your husband's going to carry that.

514
00:36:02.140 --> 00:36:03.480
Like that's what God has for you.

515
00:36:03.480 --> 00:36:05.760
And I'm like, but you deny the instant gratification.

516
00:36:05.940 --> 00:36:08.400
And I'm like, well, I thought we were getting married.

517
00:36:08.640 --> 00:36:09.080
Where'd you go?

518
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:12.720
And look, he disappeared.

519
00:36:13.220 --> 00:36:14.260
Cause he fled because he wasn't.

520
00:36:14.260 --> 00:36:14.760
What if it's a bully?

521
00:36:15.120 --> 00:36:16.740
He wasn't the real thing.

522
00:36:16.860 --> 00:36:17.600
He was a cuspid.

523
00:36:18.120 --> 00:36:19.020
It's a bully.

524
00:36:19.320 --> 00:36:20.480
And it's not that it's him.

525
00:36:20.480 --> 00:36:22.720
Again, he's, you can pray for him.

526
00:36:23.700 --> 00:36:25.240
He's probably a good man.

527
00:36:25.580 --> 00:36:26.100
Yes.

528
00:36:26.100 --> 00:36:29.400
He's just operating in his own wounds and his own trauma

529
00:36:29.980 --> 00:36:34.620
and he's under like, we all have those flags, right?

530
00:36:35.020 --> 00:36:35.620
Yeah.

531
00:36:35.620 --> 00:36:38.560
And it's not the person it's the behavior.

532
00:36:38.820 --> 00:36:40.480
It's the, the attraction.

533
00:36:40.760 --> 00:36:43.340
It's, it's the spiritual like attraction

534
00:36:43.340 --> 00:36:45.680
that sometimes we have like out of our brokenness,

535
00:36:45.680 --> 00:36:47.960
we kind of attract that same brokenness.

536
00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:49.880
And that's what we talk about with heartwork

537
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:53.140
is what you believe you become

538
00:36:53.140 --> 00:36:55.120
and what you become you attract.

539
00:36:55.120 --> 00:36:58.460
And so heartwork is key here.

540
00:36:58.460 --> 00:37:00.040
Cause once you get that healing,

541
00:37:00.220 --> 00:37:02.180
you're no longer going to be attracted to that.

542
00:37:02.260 --> 00:37:05.080
And so that's why Lori, you're starting to see this.

543
00:37:05.380 --> 00:37:05.940
Yeah.

544
00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:08.640
You're not like you've broken off that unhealthy stuff

545
00:37:08.640 --> 00:37:09.720
and you're like, I'm healing.

546
00:37:10.660 --> 00:37:13.280
I'm no longer, I'm seeing these patterns

547
00:37:13.320 --> 00:37:15.800
and they don't fit well anymore.

548
00:37:16.260 --> 00:37:17.580
They don't fit.

549
00:37:17.580 --> 00:37:18.960
I'm not attracted to this.

550
00:37:18.980 --> 00:37:21.000
Something doesn't, it feels off.

551
00:37:21.300 --> 00:37:24.560
Like I like this, but it's not comfortable.

552
00:37:24.560 --> 00:37:26.460
And so you're removing that.

553
00:37:26.660 --> 00:37:28.760
So you're sitting here with your boxing gloves on

554
00:37:28.760 --> 00:37:30.760
in the first round, cause you're doing the fight.

555
00:37:31.180 --> 00:37:33.620
But now you're like, I don't have,

556
00:37:34.200 --> 00:37:36.000
I can take my boxing gloves off.

557
00:37:36.420 --> 00:37:38.800
And then I see this image where you're no longer in this,

558
00:37:38.880 --> 00:37:41.420
you're no longer in this boxing ring anymore.

559
00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:42.240
Yeah.

560
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:45.680
More so you're on this spiritual battlefield

561
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:48.520
where you may have the armor on

562
00:37:48.520 --> 00:37:51.260
and all those arrows may be coming at you,

563
00:37:51.440 --> 00:37:54.040
but it doesn't mean that you're not protected

564
00:37:54.040 --> 00:37:56.320
because the God sees you.

565
00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:57.360


566
00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:59.800
And he's like, okay, you come here and take shelter.

567
00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:03.040
Doesn't mean that you're going to come off the battlefield.

568
00:38:03.400 --> 00:38:04.960
It means you need to take shelter.

569
00:38:05.140 --> 00:38:06.700
You need to get a drink of water.

570
00:38:06.860 --> 00:38:09.260
You need to refresh yourself.

571
00:38:09.320 --> 00:38:11.440
You need to come seek me right now.

572
00:38:11.780 --> 00:38:13.040
I'm going to restore you.

573
00:38:13.040 --> 00:38:15.620
I'm going to, you know, buffer out your armor.

574
00:38:15.700 --> 00:38:17.480
I'm going to sharpen your blades.

575
00:38:17.700 --> 00:38:19.760
I'm going to do all of these things for you.

576
00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:21.500
Now you're back on the battlefield

577
00:38:21.500 --> 00:38:24.740
because I'm sitting here and watching over you.

578
00:38:25.540 --> 00:38:25.560
Yeah.

579
00:38:26.060 --> 00:38:28.240
You're not in the boxing match by yourself anymore.

580
00:38:28.720 --> 00:38:29.020
Yeah.

581
00:38:29.140 --> 00:38:31.020
You're on the battlefield with other believers,

582
00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:32.800
with a God that's watching over you.

583
00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:33.160
Yeah.

584
00:38:33.160 --> 00:38:35.840
He brings it so we can overcome it.

585
00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:36.440
Yeah.

586
00:38:36.600 --> 00:38:39.520
Like literally get out that David Goliath moment

587
00:38:39.520 --> 00:38:42.560
where he brings that Goliath at us

588
00:38:42.560 --> 00:38:44.520
and he says, I've prepared you.

589
00:38:44.840 --> 00:38:44.980
Yeah.

590
00:38:45.980 --> 00:38:49.020
So you can do it like, ladies, I just, again,

591
00:38:49.020 --> 00:38:53.140
I want this to encourage each and every one of you,

592
00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:56.620
keep pushing through.

593
00:38:58.520 --> 00:38:59.260
Keep pushing through.

594
00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:00.680
This siege is over y'all.

595
00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:01.300
Yeah.

596
00:39:01.700 --> 00:39:03.140
You all can start stepping into this.

597
00:39:03.140 --> 00:39:03.960
The siege is over.

598
00:39:04.380 --> 00:39:05.480
The siege is over.

599
00:39:06.680 --> 00:39:09.540
And, you know, I look at this and I'm like,

600
00:39:09.620 --> 00:39:12.860
this does not look like my family legacy.

601
00:39:13.240 --> 00:39:16.340
I am a partner in my family legacy.

602
00:39:17.140 --> 00:39:20.680
And I believe that God is not only restoring me,

603
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:22.360
but he's restoring my family.

604
00:39:23.060 --> 00:39:26.640
And this is not, this does not look like that.

605
00:39:27.040 --> 00:39:27.640
Yeah.

606
00:39:27.640 --> 00:39:30.400
And so there's a lot at stake.

607
00:39:31.240 --> 00:39:31.800
Yeah.

608
00:39:31.820 --> 00:39:33.420
And so we can sit,

609
00:39:33.660 --> 00:39:35.880
we can sit and know that we don't have to do it

610
00:39:35.880 --> 00:39:36.820
in our own strength.

611
00:39:37.260 --> 00:39:37.920
He's got it.

612
00:39:38.140 --> 00:39:38.540
Yeah.

613
00:39:38.540 --> 00:39:40.320
Because the power of, you know,

614
00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:43.360
the generational blessings is way stronger

615
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:46.160
than any generational curse.

616
00:39:47.020 --> 00:39:47.160
Yeah.

617
00:39:47.580 --> 00:39:50.020
Those curses, those don't have any power

618
00:39:50.020 --> 00:39:54.520
compared to the power of what Jesus is able to do.

619
00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:57.500
Thank you so much for sharing that, Lori.

620
00:39:57.800 --> 00:39:58.420
Yeah.

621
00:39:58.520 --> 00:39:59.180
All right, Mika.

622
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.340
How are you, babe?

623
00:40:02.100 --> 00:40:03.180
Good, good.

624
00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:06.500
Very excited, excited.

625
00:40:07.160 --> 00:40:09.940
So the latest is, I saw that you applied to the guy

626
00:40:10.420 --> 00:40:12.640
that I had been asking about

627
00:40:12.640 --> 00:40:14.260
because he was bringing up physical stuff.

628
00:40:14.520 --> 00:40:16.500
So I actually decided, I didn't like how,

629
00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:18.000
I mean, everybody's different

630
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:19.840
and I know I can probably work through that,

631
00:40:19.860 --> 00:40:21.940
but I was just like, in this season of my life,

632
00:40:21.960 --> 00:40:24.220
I don't want to engage with someone

633
00:40:24.260 --> 00:40:26.240
who's prioritizing putting that at the forefront.

634
00:40:26.540 --> 00:40:28.500
I didn't really like how it made me feel

635
00:40:28.500 --> 00:40:30.920
in my body, in my mind, or in my spirit.

636
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:34.440
And so I gave it some thought and I was just like,

637
00:40:34.500 --> 00:40:36.260
I paused and I doubled back.

638
00:40:36.420 --> 00:40:41.060
I said, you know, I noticed how you were focusing in

639
00:40:41.060 --> 00:40:43.760
on physical first before we even have a phone conversation.

640
00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:46.400
And so I just, I'm not planning on being physical

641
00:40:46.400 --> 00:40:47.900
with anyone but my husband.

642
00:40:48.360 --> 00:40:50.300
I want to wish you the best.

643
00:40:50.460 --> 00:40:51.920
And I unmatched him.

644
00:40:52.380 --> 00:40:53.440
Best wishes on your search.

645
00:40:53.700 --> 00:40:54.140
Yeah.

646
00:40:54.700 --> 00:40:55.960
There you go.

647
00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:56.380
Yep.

648
00:40:56.380 --> 00:40:57.500
And you were kind.

649
00:40:57.500 --> 00:41:00.520
You weren't, you didn't, you didn't have to be,

650
00:41:01.020 --> 00:41:04.160
you didn't have to be defensive, but you were kind.

651
00:41:04.900 --> 00:41:07.880
You had peace about how you shared that

652
00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:09.280
and you can move forward.

653
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:10.260
Mm-hmm.

654
00:41:10.260 --> 00:41:13.820
And I, yeah, and I'll even own that that's also,

655
00:41:14.300 --> 00:41:18.460
that's also, I think that's also a peace for me

656
00:41:18.460 --> 00:41:20.780
that I know in my mind because of the journey

657
00:41:20.780 --> 00:41:21.780
that I've been through.

658
00:41:21.800 --> 00:41:24.580
I would constantly be wondering in the back of my mind

659
00:41:24.580 --> 00:41:26.360
with our interactions, like, is he thinking about,

660
00:41:26.360 --> 00:41:28.280
he wants to talk about physical now or physical now.

661
00:41:28.320 --> 00:41:30.080
I just don't want to start off like that.

662
00:41:30.140 --> 00:41:33.180
I know eventually it'll come up, but, you know,

663
00:41:33.180 --> 00:41:34.640
especially like just thinking about everything

664
00:41:34.640 --> 00:41:37.480
that we're doing here with heart work and everything.

665
00:41:37.620 --> 00:41:40.920
It's just like, I want to, I mean,

666
00:41:40.920 --> 00:41:42.840
I feel like even the minimum is someone

667
00:41:42.840 --> 00:41:44.560
who doesn't even believe in Jesus.

668
00:41:44.700 --> 00:41:46.200
You know, it's like tech, right?

669
00:41:46.200 --> 00:41:48.900
Like there's a certain kind of guy that's willing to do that

670
00:41:48.900 --> 00:41:49.940
and go there first.

671
00:41:49.980 --> 00:41:52.100
And then there's a certain classier guy

672
00:41:52.100 --> 00:41:53.560
that won't even touch that.

673
00:41:53.620 --> 00:41:54.120
Yeah.

674
00:41:54.120 --> 00:41:56.440
And that's, and I've been exposed to both.

675
00:41:56.840 --> 00:41:57.560
Thank you, Jesus.

676
00:41:57.860 --> 00:41:59.660
And that's not okay.

677
00:41:59.860 --> 00:42:01.400
And that's not for me.

678
00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:03.780
And yeah, top of the list.

679
00:42:03.780 --> 00:42:06.620
What I also recognize too is that when you start,

680
00:42:07.020 --> 00:42:08.880
and ladies, I'm gonna speak this to all of you.

681
00:42:09.040 --> 00:42:12.160
When you start speaking out of a healthy, healed,

682
00:42:13.120 --> 00:42:16.480
feminine, but firm heart, where you're like,

683
00:42:16.660 --> 00:42:19.700
hey, I've got this boundary, this is important to me.

684
00:42:19.940 --> 00:42:22.840
And you're talking to a masculine man.

685
00:42:24.540 --> 00:42:27.120
He's gonna respect that boundary.

686
00:42:27.940 --> 00:42:30.640
And so you'll see that, you know?

687
00:42:33.520 --> 00:42:36.160
Many of the women on here may have heard this before,

688
00:42:36.540 --> 00:42:38.540
because I've shared this time and time again.

689
00:42:38.760 --> 00:42:41.740
My husband on our first date asked to kiss me.

690
00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:43.680
Oh, okay.

691
00:42:44.100 --> 00:42:46.480
Not that I didn't want to kiss him, but I knew,

692
00:42:46.600 --> 00:42:47.580
I was like, no, I can't.

693
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:50.080
I made the commitment, I was not gonna kiss

694
00:42:50.080 --> 00:42:51.960
until I was in an explicit relationship.

695
00:42:52.680 --> 00:42:55.960
That was a boundary I knew, for me, I needed to have.

696
00:42:57.260 --> 00:42:59.120
Because if I'm kissing somebody,

697
00:42:59.740 --> 00:43:01.660
I'm not gonna see any of the flags, y'all.

698
00:43:01.900 --> 00:43:02.580
Because I like it.

699
00:43:04.620 --> 00:43:07.060
I made that mistake many times.

700
00:43:07.380 --> 00:43:08.520
And I was like, dang it.

701
00:43:08.680 --> 00:43:11.060
Every time I get myself into trouble,

702
00:43:11.160 --> 00:43:13.480
and then I get all in my feelings, and I'm like,

703
00:43:14.160 --> 00:43:15.680
I just gotta learn to say no.

704
00:43:16.100 --> 00:43:17.640
So I told him no.

705
00:43:20.340 --> 00:43:21.740
I told him no.

706
00:43:22.760 --> 00:43:26.260
And y'all, he was so respectful

707
00:43:27.560 --> 00:43:30.320
and didn't pressure me at all.

708
00:43:30.340 --> 00:43:34.860
And even then, when we did get exclusive,

709
00:43:37.560 --> 00:43:41.340
he asked me, when you're ready, will you just let me know?

710
00:43:42.340 --> 00:43:43.940
So good, that's awesome.

711
00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:46.760
I was like, well, dang.

712
00:43:48.220 --> 00:43:51.400
Like, that to me was just like,

713
00:43:51.400 --> 00:43:53.960
oh, now that's a masculine man, okay?

714
00:43:54.020 --> 00:43:57.900
So just because my husband asked me for the kiss

715
00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:00.160
in the beginning, wasn't like a,

716
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:01.500
oh, no, I'm not gonna do this.

717
00:44:01.540 --> 00:44:02.720
Like, I'm gonna ask them.

718
00:44:02.860 --> 00:44:05.720
It was, no, I'm gonna hold the boundary.

719
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:09.240
And let's see where he goes with it.

720
00:44:10.180 --> 00:44:12.800
And he respected it and never pushed me again.

721
00:44:13.560 --> 00:44:14.400
But that was before,

722
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:16.220
that was after you guys had a conversation.

723
00:44:16.660 --> 00:44:18.020
You guys got by text, right?

724
00:44:18.120 --> 00:44:20.460
This one, we haven't even had a phone conversation.

725
00:44:22.500 --> 00:44:22.540
Exactly.

726
00:44:23.120 --> 00:44:25.480
Now, if you do, again, and you can just say,

727
00:44:26.840 --> 00:44:28.440
hey, the next time,

728
00:44:28.760 --> 00:44:31.180
like, you recognized when he was having that conversation,

729
00:44:31.640 --> 00:44:33.460
and you're like, ah, I should have went back

730
00:44:33.460 --> 00:44:34.320
and said something.

731
00:44:34.880 --> 00:44:37.160
Now, in the future, if a guy does that again,

732
00:44:37.780 --> 00:44:41.280
as soon as you see that, you're gonna know the tools.

733
00:44:41.880 --> 00:44:43.420
I'm gonna address this,

734
00:44:43.520 --> 00:44:46.900
and I'm gonna address it politely, kindly, but firmly.

735
00:44:50.640 --> 00:44:52.100
Hey, I'm just someone

736
00:44:52.100 --> 00:44:53.740
that's just not gonna cross those lines,

737
00:44:53.900 --> 00:44:56.200
especially with someone that I'm still trying to get to know

738
00:44:56.200 --> 00:44:58.180
and I haven't even met you in person,

739
00:44:59.020 --> 00:44:59.980
nor do,

740
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.960
we even know each other.

741
00:45:01.980 --> 00:45:06.040
So I would prefer if we just didn't talk about those things.

742
00:45:06.820 --> 00:45:08.320
Would that be okay with you?

743
00:45:09.780 --> 00:45:10.980
That's a good point, yeah.

744
00:45:11.240 --> 00:45:12.920
And then, you know,

745
00:45:12.940 --> 00:45:14.660
see if he actually follows through with it.

746
00:45:14.680 --> 00:45:19.360
If he somehow tries to squeeze it in in a flirty way,

747
00:45:19.460 --> 00:45:20.640
or when he sees you,

748
00:45:20.820 --> 00:45:22.780
tries to go in to kiss you without asking you,

749
00:45:23.220 --> 00:45:24.780
ladies, these men need to be asking.

750
00:45:25.520 --> 00:45:26.200
I'm sorry.

751
00:45:26.860 --> 00:45:28.680
And maybe I'm just, again,

752
00:45:29.240 --> 00:45:32.860
maybe my husband just spoiled me with the asking permission.

753
00:45:33.940 --> 00:45:35.640
But when he did that, I'm like,

754
00:45:36.520 --> 00:45:38.520
well, why aren't more men asking?

755
00:45:39.100 --> 00:45:41.720
I mean, my husband asked me if he could hold my hand.

756
00:45:42.900 --> 00:45:44.220
And I'm like,

757
00:45:45.340 --> 00:45:47.500
some men will just grab your hand or give you a hug

758
00:45:47.500 --> 00:45:49.320
or just go in for it and not ask.

759
00:45:49.940 --> 00:45:53.020
And I'm like, I never thought about that until him.

760
00:45:54.000 --> 00:45:55.800
Like, what makes men think

761
00:45:55.800 --> 00:45:59.080
that they can just go in for it, right?

762
00:45:59.660 --> 00:46:04.120
So I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know what?

763
00:46:04.600 --> 00:46:06.980
Maybe some, these men need to be coached of,

764
00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:09.360
hey, ask these ladies permission.

765
00:46:09.460 --> 00:46:11.460
Now, I'm not saying we're gonna judge them.

766
00:46:11.600 --> 00:46:12.940
We're gonna give them grace, ladies,

767
00:46:13.380 --> 00:46:15.060
because they don't all have a Jackie.

768
00:46:15.560 --> 00:46:17.240
They don't all have coaches.

769
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:20.500
Okay, you meet one of them and they seem like a nice guy

770
00:46:20.500 --> 00:46:23.680
and they just need, they need a little grace.

771
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:27.000
They might not be for you, bring them to our community.

772
00:46:28.440 --> 00:46:30.500
Well, we'll help them out as best we can.

773
00:46:31.980 --> 00:46:35.540
All right, so, but yeah, I think you're just,

774
00:46:35.780 --> 00:46:37.980
again, these are all things that God's gonna highlight

775
00:46:37.980 --> 00:46:40.700
to you and help you grow and prepare in.

776
00:46:40.700 --> 00:46:42.580
And it's just gonna contribute

777
00:46:44.320 --> 00:46:46.820
to you meeting your spirit mate.

778
00:46:47.480 --> 00:46:48.880
Yeah, thank you, thank you.

779
00:46:49.160 --> 00:46:51.660
And so since then I've moved along, moved on.

780
00:46:53.680 --> 00:46:58.080
There's a gentleman that called last night

781
00:46:59.780 --> 00:47:02.380
and it's actually, it's through like a match,

782
00:47:02.440 --> 00:47:05.240
it was like a matchmaking company thing

783
00:47:05.420 --> 00:47:06.680
that I signed up for.

784
00:47:06.760 --> 00:47:09.280
I think maybe about, it's been about a year now.

785
00:47:09.660 --> 00:47:12.260
It's not, I don't get many outreaches,

786
00:47:12.700 --> 00:47:14.080
but it's been a while.

787
00:47:14.080 --> 00:47:16.300
I think it's been about four or five months since

788
00:47:16.300 --> 00:47:19.200
and they like background checked them and all of that.

789
00:47:19.860 --> 00:47:21.780
And the other ones haven't matched

790
00:47:21.780 --> 00:47:24.360
because they've been Christian, but not really.

791
00:47:24.540 --> 00:47:26.620
But this is the first one since this program.

792
00:47:26.780 --> 00:47:27.940
So I was actually really excited.

793
00:47:28.260 --> 00:47:30.680
So I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna like vomit on them

794
00:47:30.680 --> 00:47:32.800
and like try to extra spiritualize them

795
00:47:32.800 --> 00:47:34.560
and totally sabotage myself.

796
00:47:34.780 --> 00:47:36.260
So I'm like really excited about this.

797
00:47:36.360 --> 00:47:37.000
And I'm like-

798
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:38.580
Well, you just keep coming to community,

799
00:47:38.760 --> 00:47:40.040
you keep sharing here.

800
00:47:40.300 --> 00:47:42.900
Ladies, and I will tell you, that will help you.

801
00:47:43.500 --> 00:47:46.400
If you're like me and sometimes kind of do the overshare,

802
00:47:47.320 --> 00:47:50.520
coming to this community and oversharing with us here

803
00:47:50.520 --> 00:47:52.880
will help you not overshare with the men.

804
00:47:53.580 --> 00:47:53.840
What is that?

805
00:47:55.080 --> 00:47:56.900
That will help tremendously.

806
00:47:57.940 --> 00:47:59.540
So you ladies just keep coming,

807
00:48:00.100 --> 00:48:01.180
putting your posts in the app,

808
00:48:01.300 --> 00:48:03.300
keep coming and sharing on these calls

809
00:48:03.480 --> 00:48:06.440
and that will help you sort it out

810
00:48:06.440 --> 00:48:08.860
and get it kind of out of your head

811
00:48:08.860 --> 00:48:10.880
for us to all process together.

812
00:48:11.560 --> 00:48:12.080
Excellent.

813
00:48:12.600 --> 00:48:14.020
So my-

814
00:48:14.180 --> 00:48:15.460
Excellent, thank you.

815
00:48:15.620 --> 00:48:16.620
And my question is-

816
00:48:16.620 --> 00:48:17.640
My question is-

817
00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:21.940
Can everybody mute unless you're on?

818
00:48:24.080 --> 00:48:24.360
Hold on.

819
00:48:24.600 --> 00:48:26.140
I know there's a way that I can mute everybody.

820
00:48:27.620 --> 00:48:29.600
Hey, Damaris, can you mute yourself?

821
00:48:32.640 --> 00:48:36.080
I know there's a button for me to mute.

822
00:48:36.220 --> 00:48:37.400
I just can't find it.

823
00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:42.880
Yeah, but that, they really don't matter much.

824
00:48:43.940 --> 00:48:46.620
Hey, Damaris, if you hear us, can you mute yourself?

825
00:48:47.260 --> 00:48:52.000
Oh, because it's, yeah,

826
00:48:52.620 --> 00:48:55.280
that it has to be the IFSP date.

827
00:48:57.620 --> 00:48:58.180
Yeah.

828
00:48:59.800 --> 00:49:03.420
Does any of you ladies know how to mute?

829
00:49:03.760 --> 00:49:05.780
Have any of you are familiar with?

830
00:49:09.360 --> 00:49:10.740
Okay, I think she muted herself.

831
00:49:13.080 --> 00:49:15.040
I'm gonna, I need to figure this out.

832
00:49:15.600 --> 00:49:18.760
I go into the more thing and it doesn't say-

833
00:49:18.760 --> 00:49:20.820
I think if you go under the participants,

834
00:49:21.260 --> 00:49:23.300
there should be an option at the very top

835
00:49:23.300 --> 00:49:25.220
that allows you to mute everyone.

836
00:49:26.500 --> 00:49:27.720
Participants, okay.

837
00:49:29.280 --> 00:49:30.780
Let me see.

838
00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:35.120
Everyone, participants.

839
00:49:35.540 --> 00:49:38.240
Oh, I see, it says mute all, okay.

840
00:49:39.720 --> 00:49:42.020
Ask all to unmute, okay.

841
00:49:42.500 --> 00:49:44.300
Mute participants, okay.

842
00:49:44.860 --> 00:49:45.260
Thank you.

843
00:49:45.260 --> 00:49:46.160
Who was that, Nadine?

844
00:49:46.420 --> 00:49:47.420
Thank you so much.

845
00:49:48.220 --> 00:49:48.720
Sure thing.

846
00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:50.020
Awesome.

847
00:49:50.500 --> 00:49:51.840
I've never really had to do that,

848
00:49:52.040 --> 00:49:53.840
so that's good to know.

849
00:49:54.480 --> 00:49:55.460
Now I know.

850
00:49:56.340 --> 00:49:57.760
All right, sorry about that, ladies.

851
00:49:58.660 --> 00:49:59.060
All right.

852
00:49:59.500 --> 00:49:59.980
Okay.

853
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.540
Thank you so much, Mika. I appreciate you. So Mika and Lori, if you guys will put your hands down,

854
00:50:04.720 --> 00:50:08.560
I got, um, Alexandra, you're up next. I wanted to see if I can ask a question,

855
00:50:08.620 --> 00:50:12.720
though, a really quick question about the new guy. Is there a time for you to ask?

856
00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:17.460
Will you put it in the chat? And then if I can't get into the chat, well, then you put it on the

857
00:50:17.680 --> 00:50:23.640
app. Okay, we'll address it there. Got it. I still got a lot of these ladies, and we've got like 20

858
00:50:23.660 --> 00:50:28.120
minutes. So I have a feeling I'm going to try to output. I'll push us over a little bit. But

859
00:50:28.120 --> 00:50:36.220
I don't know if I can stay on super, super late. So, um, Alexandra. Okay, let's dive in because

860
00:50:36.220 --> 00:50:43.880
I think we have some things to unpack, correct? Yes. And Lori's was super, I resonate with her.

861
00:50:44.060 --> 00:50:49.420
Like, I've had a few people recently that I've been interested in that I've noticed are love

862
00:50:49.140 --> 00:50:56.300
bombing. And so I guess if you could help me pinpoint what's going on there, I did come out

863
00:50:56.300 --> 00:51:02.460
of like a pretty traumatic like house church environment. And it's been like a year and a

864
00:51:02.460 --> 00:51:08.240
half and I, you know, I've done healing work there, but I never use I don't know. Anyway,

865
00:51:08.240 --> 00:51:12.320
I do have some like past stuff that definitely like I really have a strong desire to feel loved

866
00:51:12.320 --> 00:51:17.700
and to be loved. So maybe, you know, some walls go down. I'm trying to trust my gut. So I did end

867
00:51:17.700 --> 00:51:23.600
up saying goodbye to that guy this morning, because we did a video call last night, he couldn't come

868
00:51:23.600 --> 00:51:31.020
in person. Some background on that is like, we met online in two different areas. So like,

869
00:51:31.140 --> 00:51:36.640
it was like this matchmaking Instagram profile. And he found me there. And we talked a little bit.

870
00:51:38.100 --> 00:51:44.100
And I just this is before the program, I kind of like quickly judged him and was like, I don't

871
00:51:44.100 --> 00:51:47.960
think we have a lot in common. Like, you know, I'm not interested, because he liked like 13 of

872
00:51:47.960 --> 00:51:55.160
photos or something. Which I forgot about, until he reminded me, but which is kind of a lot.

873
00:51:56.340 --> 00:52:01.040
Especially, usually, I'm like, that's kind of that's like coming on really strong. But

874
00:52:01.100 --> 00:52:05.380
so anyway, then I kind of like forgot about that. And then he was on Facebook dating. And,

875
00:52:06.900 --> 00:52:11.480
and he matched with me. And he was like, second chance. And I like thought it was kind of cute.

876
00:52:12.220 --> 00:52:16.120
And also, I was in a new headspace. And so I was like, sure. So we've been

877
00:52:16.120 --> 00:52:21.340
after heartwork then, right? Yes. Yeah. So I'm trying to give people like an opportunity. I

878
00:52:21.340 --> 00:52:29.320
didn't really remember why I had said no to him. So anyway, and he's very, like, he's very, like,

879
00:52:29.360 --> 00:52:34.120
present, and like, I guess, persistent. So like, I do appreciate that, like, on the apps, it's hard

880
00:52:34.120 --> 00:52:39.040
sometimes when like, people don't really respond, or they're really not offering much or asking much

881
00:52:39.040 --> 00:52:44.900
and like, this guy was present. I think that's also kind of getting me into these situations,

882
00:52:44.900 --> 00:52:50.220
maybe. Because there's actually interaction there. Like, yeah, if people are not interacting,

883
00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:53.220
you can't really do anything. But if there's someone's going to interact with you, it's like,

884
00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:58.020
okay, what, at least there's some interaction. Let me just test, test it out here. Let me just

885
00:52:58.020 --> 00:53:06.240
get some practice. Right? Yeah, yeah. Then I go, you must actually like like me. And so we've been

886
00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:10.740
talking for like three weeks, I had to tell him to kind of slow down at the start, he seemed to

887
00:53:10.860 --> 00:53:16.620
respect that. But then looking back now, it's like, I feel like he's kind of been pushing stuff

888
00:53:16.640 --> 00:53:22.780
anyway. Like, so last night on zoom, he ended up like bringing up marriage. This is like our third,

889
00:53:24.380 --> 00:53:31.920
like, either video or in person. And but we have a lot in common, but we were missing that

890
00:53:31.920 --> 00:53:34.840
connection. That's what I was talking about online. I was like, I don't feel like they're

891
00:53:34.840 --> 00:53:40.360
really jiving, like bouncing off of each other. Well, and I did have some discernment, I felt

892
00:53:40.360 --> 00:53:45.740
like where I was like, I feel like he's trying to push this. So he's not a citizen, which like,

893
00:53:45.740 --> 00:53:50.160
I was just trying to be open minded about and like, let the Holy Spirit like guide me in,

894
00:53:50.760 --> 00:53:59.980
in that. And, you know, I think he's Oh, sorry, I don't know what's happening. Oh, I got a call.

895
00:53:59.980 --> 00:54:08.200
Okay. Um, you're still there, though. You can see me. Okay. Um, so, uh, shoot.

896
00:54:12.180 --> 00:54:16.100
Um, I'm trying to think what I was just Oh, citizenship. So I'm trying to be open minded.

897
00:54:16.440 --> 00:54:22.660
And then, um, so I do feel like he's a very strong believer. And I we have a lot in common,

898
00:54:22.900 --> 00:54:27.980
like longevity wise of like goals and things like that. Not everything, but like he sees,

899
00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:33.260
like, we just have a lot in common. And so I was like, Okay, I want to give it like,

900
00:54:33.400 --> 00:54:37.620
that's why I've been given him an opportunity because kind of like, similar to what Laurie

901
00:54:37.620 --> 00:54:42.960
was experiencing. I was like, we've got like some similar heart values that are important to me.

902
00:54:43.420 --> 00:54:48.880
And that's where I feel frustrated. I feel like why would God which I don't think this like,

903
00:54:48.900 --> 00:54:53.080
I guess the natural part of me is like, why would God like bring this man who's like,

904
00:54:53.080 --> 00:54:59.920
but then, so he wasn't taking things slow. So I told him he was talking about marriage loss.

905
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.820
a few different times and then he also wanted to hang out like on Thanksgiving and I was like on

906
00:55:05.780 --> 00:55:11.300
Thanksgiving and so I told one of my close friends who's a strong believer she's in heart work and

907
00:55:11.300 --> 00:55:19.240
she was like have you all met in person yeah once and he wanted to come this week but we just did a

908
00:55:19.240 --> 00:55:24.920
video call instead okay okay so you've had two video calls and one in person yeah and he just

909
00:55:24.920 --> 00:55:32.300
he feels ahead of it and he feels I still feel like he's pushing but not obviously pushing

910
00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:38.180
and I'm like why why is he in such a like I just feel like

911
00:55:38.180 --> 00:55:46.740
he's rushing and I also told like sneaky yeah yeah where's he can I ask where he's from he's

912
00:55:46.800 --> 00:55:52.480
from Mexico but I can't think of the name of where it is he's been here for like five years

913
00:55:52.480 --> 00:55:59.100
on a work visa okay so he's a work visa okay um real quick

914
00:56:00.440 --> 00:56:05.320
and I I think the lord is providing his way in that like either way but I do think it's

915
00:56:05.320 --> 00:56:08.980
in the background my discernment kind of tells me I feel like it's driving

916
00:56:09.780 --> 00:56:16.400
him also with pushing our relationship quickly yeah again like I don't want you to ignore this

917
00:56:16.520 --> 00:56:21.440
like unsettling that you're getting because again this is very quick and the fact that you're like

918
00:56:21.440 --> 00:56:25.600
hey you're kind of talking like you're talking about marriage you're talking about Thanksgiving

919
00:56:25.600 --> 00:56:32.400
and you're kind of like you're you're not at peace with it so I want I don't want you to ignore that

920
00:56:34.240 --> 00:56:42.400
okay um you said that you're struggling because you guys have similar heart values and goals

921
00:56:45.140 --> 00:56:51.300
how did you discover that you both had this similar goals and the reason I'm asking this

922
00:56:51.300 --> 00:56:57.880
I want you to stop and really think about this okay and some of you ladies might even think and

923
00:56:57.880 --> 00:57:03.120
this is not to get you ladies suspicious okay so if you're someone that gets suspicious I don't

924
00:57:03.120 --> 00:57:08.480
want you to think too much into this okay I'm a little cautious on saying this because this is

925
00:57:08.480 --> 00:57:14.560
this is where coaching in a group can get a challenge because some of you ladies

926
00:57:15.060 --> 00:57:18.760
don't need to hear this but some of you ladies do okay

927
00:57:21.480 --> 00:57:27.040
I don't want you ladies getting if you ladies get often suspicious and you think everybody's

928
00:57:27.040 --> 00:57:33.340
out like every guy's gonna come and like get sneaky with you then then let's you you're you

929
00:57:33.340 --> 00:57:39.760
already got those alarms on you don't need need anymore but if you're someone that's like

930
00:57:41.120 --> 00:57:46.840
not always getting those alarms and you're kind of like oh I always find myself in these

931
00:57:46.840 --> 00:57:53.440
situations and I'm not I'm not getting a clear like vibe and I somehow fell into this trap again

932
00:57:53.440 --> 00:57:57.740
and you don't see it the those ladies I want you to listen to me okay

933
00:58:01.220 --> 00:58:07.580
how did y'all discover that y'all had similar goals and heart postures and the reason I asked

934
00:58:07.580 --> 00:58:13.780
this I want you to think back were you the one that was sharing your heart and your goals and

935
00:58:13.780 --> 00:58:20.200
then he's in agreement with you and then kind of also sharing and it is aligning or

936
00:58:21.760 --> 00:58:27.840
he's sharing about that and you're like oh my goodness yeah because if because here's the thing

937
00:58:27.840 --> 00:58:34.800
ladies some some people are just really and I'm not gonna say men because women women do this too

938
00:58:35.580 --> 00:58:43.960
it's yes it's mirroring they will mirror you that's what I feel like he's doing but okay

939
00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:50.900
but at the same time he does just like he would just randomly share something okay I felt like

940
00:58:50.900 --> 00:58:57.400
that it was legit um but also this is just for all you ladies I guess the ones like you said

941
00:58:57.400 --> 00:59:02.580
the disclaimer I don't want to freak people out who already freaked out but he told me he wasn't

942
00:59:02.580 --> 00:59:10.960
that into cats or dogs and then I looked back at his Facebook profile and like a couple days later

943
00:59:10.960 --> 00:59:15.780
and he put that in his interests cats and dogs and I was like he literally told me that he didn't

944
00:59:15.780 --> 00:59:23.280
like cats very much so I just felt like I guess for me that was just like this like like yeah

945
00:59:24.900 --> 00:59:30.500
I don't want you to not listen to your gut here yeah no I already I told him goodbye this morning

946
00:59:31.280 --> 00:59:37.860
because um I felt like I would not typically say this okay if you she I'm saying this for

947
00:59:37.860 --> 00:59:46.980
because she's coming to us okay just because you may have a similar situation does not mean this

948
00:59:46.980 --> 00:59:50.400
guy like the guy that you might be having this situation with and this guy are the same

949
00:59:51.060 --> 00:59:59.980
so you ladies still need to come to your coaches and talk it out with us okay doesn't mean that

950
01:00:01.080 --> 01:00:06.460
We'll get it right all the time, but you want us to know what's happening so that we can

951
01:00:06.460 --> 01:00:08.680
be your blind spot for you.

952
01:00:09.220 --> 01:00:09.780
Okay?

953
01:00:09.780 --> 01:00:14.500
I'm not saying that this always happens, but I'm getting a check in my spirit.

954
01:00:15.940 --> 01:00:17.060
Something's off.

955
01:00:17.920 --> 01:00:18.480
Okay?

956
01:00:18.480 --> 01:00:24.580
I'm not saying it will happen all the time, but for this one, I don't get a good feeling

957
01:00:24.580 --> 01:00:25.660
about this.

958
01:00:25.660 --> 01:00:34.800
I'm concerned because he's like, just by some of the things that you shared in your post,

959
01:00:36.280 --> 01:00:40.760
like I'm, we click, but I just feel like there's something not there.

960
01:00:41.640 --> 01:00:48.420
And like, he's pushing, he's, I put this boundary up, but then I'm not like, there's this, this

961
01:00:48.700 --> 01:00:55.120
uncertainty, you don't have confidence and that the enemy will want to do that to you.

962
01:00:55.120 --> 01:00:57.800
He's going to want to confuse you and give you this lack of confidence.

963
01:00:57.940 --> 01:01:06.520
And then you, you also shared something that is typically a concern of mine that many of

964
01:01:06.520 --> 01:01:10.480
the ladies in this community often do this.

965
01:01:10.900 --> 01:01:14.980
I don't want to waste this guy's time.

966
01:01:15.940 --> 01:01:17.060
I'm worried.

967
01:01:17.240 --> 01:01:18.640
I'm leading him on.

968
01:01:19.260 --> 01:01:21.980
I'm not sure how I feel about him.

969
01:01:22.880 --> 01:01:25.100
I want to continue to get to know him.

970
01:01:25.280 --> 01:01:31.360
There's something off that I don't quite know yet, but if I continue to go out with him,

971
01:01:31.360 --> 01:01:35.960
now you have this feeling like I'm obligated.

972
01:01:36.080 --> 01:01:38.440
It's this obligation that you feel.

973
01:01:39.360 --> 01:01:45.320
I don't, when you ladies have that feeling of obligation, that's a flag for me, for you.

974
01:01:46.080 --> 01:01:50.880
And that to me is like, we want to get, we want to get to the heart of why do you have

975
01:01:50.880 --> 01:01:51.120
this?

976
01:01:51.120 --> 01:01:52.640
Why do you have this feeling of obligation?

977
01:01:54.320 --> 01:01:54.520
Yeah.

978
01:01:54.520 --> 01:01:58.800
Cause he's, he wants to talk like every day, even after I told him to slow down, he's like,

979
01:01:58.820 --> 01:02:01.860
okay, well then can we, he's texting me like good morning and good night.

980
01:02:01.860 --> 01:02:02.700
Like every day.

981
01:02:02.760 --> 01:02:03.600
It's just a lot.

982
01:02:04.200 --> 01:02:04.500
Respecting that.

983
01:02:04.720 --> 01:02:06.800
He's being sneaky about it.

984
01:02:06.800 --> 01:02:07.100
Yeah.

985
01:02:07.100 --> 01:02:07.580
He is.

986
01:02:07.680 --> 01:02:09.940
He's saying, oh yeah, yeah, that's fine.

987
01:02:10.260 --> 01:02:17.120
But his actions are not showing that he's actually respecting your boundary.

988
01:02:17.660 --> 01:02:18.140
Yep.

989
01:02:18.140 --> 01:02:21.880
He's not secure enough to say, oh yeah, we don't have to talk.

990
01:02:23.280 --> 01:02:23.560
Yeah.

991
01:02:23.900 --> 01:02:26.120
And in some ways, that's an insecurity in him.

992
01:02:26.300 --> 01:02:31.100
So again, that makes me wonder, I mean, again, maybe he's trying to get you to marry him

993
01:02:31.100 --> 01:02:32.140
because he wants to stay in the car.

994
01:02:32.280 --> 01:02:33.240
Maybe he's not.

995
01:02:33.260 --> 01:02:33.620
Okay.

996
01:02:33.620 --> 01:02:34.880
Like we don't want to assume anything.

997
01:02:35.460 --> 01:02:41.060
We never want to assume things out of people, but we also don't want to not listen to our

998
01:02:42.180 --> 01:02:43.960
discerning checks in our spirit either.

999
01:02:44.040 --> 01:02:45.440
We don't want to ignore those things.

1000
01:02:46.360 --> 01:02:46.760
Okay.

1001
01:02:46.760 --> 01:02:51.040
I was thinking in my head, like, cause I'm trying to listen to those more often.

1002
01:02:51.060 --> 01:02:54.760
And then someone said, Bethany, maybe like once you've gone through the heartwork, you

1003
01:02:54.760 --> 01:02:57.560
can trust that more, that feeling.

1004
01:02:58.620 --> 01:03:01.000
So that's where I was going from.

1005
01:03:01.020 --> 01:03:04.440
And then a good Christian friend of mine who's done the heartwork was like, I don't feel

1006
01:03:04.440 --> 01:03:05.240
good about this.

1007
01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:06.300
And I was like, okay.

1008
01:03:06.640 --> 01:03:11.280
And that's why you come to community because we can sit here and be your blind spots and

1009
01:03:11.280 --> 01:03:15.880
we can even use our, our discerning spirit.

1010
01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:16.720
Yeah.

1011
01:03:17.680 --> 01:03:22.300
It kind of be like, Hey, because then God can use other people to kind of confirm things

1012
01:03:22.300 --> 01:03:23.180
for you.

1013
01:03:23.180 --> 01:03:27.520
So did I attract him because I'm not healed in some way?

1014
01:03:27.620 --> 01:03:28.460
Not necessarily.

1015
01:03:29.000 --> 01:03:34.200
I mean, now are you, is there some things that maybe God is highlighting for you to

1016
01:03:34.200 --> 01:03:34.780
heal possibly?

1017
01:03:35.140 --> 01:03:40.040
And so we will want to, you might want to go to the Lord with that.

1018
01:03:40.040 --> 01:03:42.780
I'm like, okay, Lord, like, where is this?

1019
01:03:42.980 --> 01:03:43.880
What's this rooted in?

1020
01:03:44.720 --> 01:03:46.440
Where was this uncertainty in me?

1021
01:03:46.900 --> 01:03:52.300
Why was I feeling like I was obligated to, if I'm investing time, then it means I have

1022
01:03:52.300 --> 01:03:53.920
to feel a certain way about this guy.

1023
01:03:54.500 --> 01:03:55.680
Where was that rooted in?

1024
01:03:56.560 --> 01:04:04.080
So those are things again, like it's important for you ladies to come here in community because

1025
01:04:04.180 --> 01:04:11.180
us coaches actually will be able to help you out to ask the certain questions that can

1026
01:04:11.180 --> 01:04:16.900
help uncover some of those heartwork areas about what is this rooted in?

1027
01:04:17.600 --> 01:04:21.340
And I know I'm going to, I'm going to probably jump to Stephanie next because Stephanie,

1028
01:04:21.620 --> 01:04:24.140
I want us to be able to unpack some of those things.

1029
01:04:24.140 --> 01:04:29.760
Cause I do think we have some heart stuff that can, can get enlightened as well.

1030
01:04:30.180 --> 01:04:33.680
If you're open for that, I don't want you to not do it if you're not open to it.

1031
01:04:33.680 --> 01:04:33.980
Okay.

1032
01:04:33.980 --> 01:04:38.700
Cause I know you probably still have, if you're not ready for, okay, you got the thumbs up.

1033
01:04:38.700 --> 01:04:39.060
Okay.

1034
01:04:39.060 --> 01:04:42.540
So, and then you ladies can kind of see how we can walk through that as well.

1035
01:04:43.240 --> 01:04:43.460
Okay.

1036
01:04:43.460 --> 01:04:45.940
For anybody that's kind of curious of what that looks like.

1037
01:04:47.180 --> 01:04:49.840
Um, he was such a man in ways.

1038
01:04:50.240 --> 01:04:51.380
So that was so frustrating.

1039
01:04:51.980 --> 01:04:52.380
Exactly.

1040
01:04:52.660 --> 01:04:53.640
And that, and that's what I'm saying.

1041
01:04:55.540 --> 01:04:58.240
We all have those yellow flags.

1042
01:04:58.820 --> 01:04:59.980
I'm a godly woman.

1043
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.260
but it doesn't mean that sometimes

1044
01:05:01.260 --> 01:05:03.040
I don't operate in my wounds.

1045
01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:06.560
I've been married two years,

1046
01:05:06.800 --> 01:05:08.960
and I literally have been like,

1047
01:05:09.460 --> 01:05:11.620
I show up sometimes in my wounds.

1048
01:05:12.360 --> 01:05:14.940
I am married to a man that had some trauma,

1049
01:05:15.160 --> 01:05:17.080
and his two older kids had some trauma.

1050
01:05:17.500 --> 01:05:19.840
They all operate in their wounds at time.

1051
01:05:21.240 --> 01:05:24.080
Doesn't mean that they're not godly,

1052
01:05:24.560 --> 01:05:26.740
connected, Holy Spirit-filled people.

1053
01:05:27.280 --> 01:05:29.880
It just means that there's just layers

1054
01:05:29.880 --> 01:05:35.940
that God is still trying to work through and help, heal.

1055
01:05:36.440 --> 01:05:39.220
Yeah, so I was kind of like him and God can take,

1056
01:05:39.260 --> 01:05:41.340
I don't need to help him with that

1057
01:05:41.340 --> 01:05:43.360
because I don't know him very well, so.

1058
01:05:43.380 --> 01:05:45.300
Yeah, you're still just getting to know somebody.

1059
01:05:45.480 --> 01:05:48.280
So ladies, you don't have to take on responsibilities, okay?

1060
01:05:48.720 --> 01:05:51.960
I mean, this is what discovering dating is about.

1061
01:05:52.180 --> 01:05:55.140
You don't have to take on these responsibilities

1062
01:05:55.140 --> 01:05:56.860
when you don't really know someone.

1063
01:05:57.000 --> 01:05:59.780
This is level one and level two dating.

1064
01:06:00.020 --> 01:06:02.280
So once, for those ladies that are brand new,

1065
01:06:02.440 --> 01:06:04.260
if you haven't watched the content yet,

1066
01:06:04.560 --> 01:06:06.700
that you'll have your love story kickoff,

1067
01:06:06.740 --> 01:06:09.180
and then Dating 101 is gonna go through

1068
01:06:09.220 --> 01:06:10.960
those levels of relationship.

1069
01:06:11.320 --> 01:06:13.680
So make sure you watch those

1070
01:06:13.800 --> 01:06:15.760
because that will kind of piece together.

1071
01:06:16.120 --> 01:06:17.700
So Mika, is she still on?

1072
01:06:19.240 --> 01:06:20.660
Mika's still on, I don't see her.

1073
01:06:20.860 --> 01:06:21.540
Yes, I'm on.

1074
01:06:21.740 --> 01:06:22.580
Oh, you are, okay.

1075
01:06:22.820 --> 01:06:24.520
I didn't see you on camera,

1076
01:06:24.520 --> 01:06:26.800
but once I saw that, I saw your picture.

1077
01:06:27.020 --> 01:06:28.880
So again, that how long does it take

1078
01:06:28.880 --> 01:06:32.260
for someone to go exclusive, that varies.

1079
01:06:34.360 --> 01:06:38.840
I personally would say it's smart,

1080
01:06:39.220 --> 01:06:41.760
and again, everyone's love story looks different.

1081
01:06:43.260 --> 01:06:47.460
You wanna be in that level two for a little while, okay?

1082
01:06:47.460 --> 01:06:50.640
You wanna have some, like you actually know this person,

1083
01:06:50.640 --> 01:06:54.580
and we want the men to lead that exclusive conversation.

1084
01:06:54.860 --> 01:06:56.840
Now, that doesn't mean that we don't have people

1085
01:06:56.840 --> 01:07:00.160
on our program that had accelerated love stories, okay?

1086
01:07:00.660 --> 01:07:01.600
That has happened.

1087
01:07:02.340 --> 01:07:04.180
I don't share this often with people.

1088
01:07:04.320 --> 01:07:07.560
My husband and I had accelerated love story, okay?

1089
01:07:08.100 --> 01:07:11.960
I don't, like I said, I don't typically let people know that

1090
01:07:11.960 --> 01:07:14.140
because then they, some people get in their head

1091
01:07:14.140 --> 01:07:16.300
and think, oh, this one's the one,

1092
01:07:16.340 --> 01:07:17.320
and then all this happens,

1093
01:07:17.380 --> 01:07:18.720
and then it's like a dumpster fire.

1094
01:07:20.640 --> 01:07:25.440
Like God was very much in every little piece.

1095
01:07:25.900 --> 01:07:27.660
Like I was trying to resist, and God's like,

1096
01:07:27.760 --> 01:07:30.160
no, this guy's it, this guy's it, this guy's it,

1097
01:07:30.160 --> 01:07:31.560
and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

1098
01:07:31.680 --> 01:07:34.260
and he's like, no, this guy's it, this guy's it, okay?

1099
01:07:34.420 --> 01:07:36.460
So God was showing up supernaturally

1100
01:07:37.140 --> 01:07:38.880
when I was trying to avoid it.

1101
01:07:40.460 --> 01:07:45.580
So I say you wanna at least have a handful of dates

1102
01:07:45.580 --> 01:07:50.400
under your belt, at least a month to two

1103
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:52.220
to maybe three months before you really,

1104
01:07:53.720 --> 01:07:56.440
you know, again, as long as you're coming in community

1105
01:07:56.440 --> 01:07:58.200
and you're talking with us,

1106
01:07:58.660 --> 01:08:02.580
we can help you distinguish that as well, okay?

1107
01:08:02.860 --> 01:08:04.980
Now, I think that's probably my best answer

1108
01:08:04.980 --> 01:08:06.260
because there's real, like, again,

1109
01:08:06.260 --> 01:08:08.520
we don't give y'all rules, we give you guardrails.

1110
01:08:09.560 --> 01:08:11.340
We really do, we just give you guardrails

1111
01:08:11.340 --> 01:08:12.980
because everyone's love story is different.

1112
01:08:12.980 --> 01:08:17.840
I mean, we have over 1,600 plus love stories

1113
01:08:18.840 --> 01:08:20.560
and everyone is different.

1114
01:08:20.680 --> 01:08:24.040
There's some similar ones, but everyone's different.

1115
01:08:24.680 --> 01:08:28.640
Okay, Alexandra, she's gotta go back to work.

1116
01:08:28.779 --> 01:08:31.100
Yeah, did we cover what you needed covered?

1117
01:08:31.380 --> 01:08:32.880
Thank you so much, you did.

1118
01:08:33.500 --> 01:08:34.640
I appreciate it, yeah.

1119
01:08:34.740 --> 01:08:36.080
Absolutely, okay.

1120
01:08:36.840 --> 01:08:38.859
Okay, Stephanie, I'm gonna go to you

1121
01:08:38.859 --> 01:08:42.000
because I definitely wanna make sure we have time to unpack.

1122
01:08:42.600 --> 01:08:45.899
So I'm gonna kind of fill the ladies in

1123
01:08:45.899 --> 01:08:48.740
and if I miss anything, just help me out.

1124
01:08:49.580 --> 01:08:53.300
So Stephanie had this guy, it was her seventh date,

1125
01:08:53.399 --> 01:08:54.899
she kind of got really excited about him

1126
01:08:55.640 --> 01:08:59.140
and they had two dates.

1127
01:08:59.580 --> 01:09:01.420
Well, they had set up a date for Saturday,

1128
01:09:01.520 --> 01:09:04.060
which was the second date, but then impromptu

1129
01:09:04.060 --> 01:09:06.260
ended up having a last minute date

1130
01:09:06.260 --> 01:09:07.859
before that Saturday date.

1131
01:09:08.439 --> 01:09:10.040
And so they had a good time

1132
01:09:10.800 --> 01:09:14.880
and then between then and that third date on Saturday,

1133
01:09:15.680 --> 01:09:17.680
she started feeling him pull back a little bit.

1134
01:09:18.640 --> 01:09:21.720
Now, she did let him kiss her, okay?

1135
01:09:21.720 --> 01:09:24.160
And again, no shame in the game, girl, okay?

1136
01:09:25.260 --> 01:09:29.340
And then the next day, was it the next day,

1137
01:09:29.399 --> 01:09:30.140
he kind of was like,

1138
01:09:30.359 --> 01:09:31.840
hey, I don't think I can give you what you want.

1139
01:09:32.600 --> 01:09:37.300
Yeah, the next day, he just really was like distant

1140
01:09:37.300 --> 01:09:40.300
and very off and I already felt it.

1141
01:09:40.560 --> 01:09:41.859
I felt like something was off.

1142
01:09:42.520 --> 01:09:43.920
Like you just kind of, like ladies,

1143
01:09:44.960 --> 01:09:48.520
us women can have intuitions, believe it or not, okay?

1144
01:09:48.520 --> 01:09:50.819
I don't want us to read too much into it again

1145
01:09:50.819 --> 01:09:53.859
because we don't wanna always be acting in our counterfeit,

1146
01:09:54.040 --> 01:09:55.480
all right, because that can happen.

1147
01:09:56.600 --> 01:09:59.600
But when you recognize those things,

1148
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.400
definitely be coming to us in community. And we can help you

1149
01:10:06.400 --> 01:10:12.680
with a lot of that stuff. Okay, so she kind of felt it. And he's

1150
01:10:12.680 --> 01:10:19.000
just like, all right, not feeling it. So my so what I just

1151
01:10:19.000 --> 01:10:20.960
shared with her before we got on this call, like 30 minutes

1152
01:10:20.960 --> 01:10:25.700
before we got on this call, I'm like, I get it. This, this kind

1153
01:10:25.700 --> 01:10:30.380
of stuff doesn't feel good. And I was in this program, single

1154
01:10:30.380 --> 01:10:36.220
for several years, handfuls of dates, and would feel this many

1155
01:10:36.220 --> 01:10:39.420
times, I'd get excited about something, thinking something

1156
01:10:39.420 --> 01:10:43.880
went well. And then all of a sudden, it was like, they just

1157
01:10:43.980 --> 01:10:49.420
acted differently and bowed out. And then it's easy to want to

1158
01:10:49.420 --> 01:10:53.740
internalize that and think what happened and you want clarity,

1159
01:10:53.740 --> 01:10:58.200
you want closure, you want, you want to know the whys. Okay, so

1160
01:10:58.420 --> 01:11:03.960
just understand that's normal. Like, I totally get that. And so

1161
01:11:03.960 --> 01:11:10.160
we can unpack that here on the call. But what I want to make

1162
01:11:10.160 --> 01:11:16.020
sure that we also do is, I want to make sure that we don't stay

1163
01:11:16.020 --> 01:11:20.500
stuck there in those emotions and those negative thinking, we

1164
01:11:20.500 --> 01:11:24.100
really want to make sure that we're unpacking and doing some

1165
01:11:24.100 --> 01:11:27.620
of that hard work and really processing through what we've

1166
01:11:27.600 --> 01:11:31.860
experienced, and really leaning into what God is trying to do in

1167
01:11:31.860 --> 01:11:37.800
our heart. And that we are focusing on ourselves and not so

1168
01:11:37.800 --> 01:11:41.720
much on the guys and how they responded. Does that make sense?

1169
01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:47.580
Yeah. So that's what I'm here to help you as Stephanie, we may

1170
01:11:47.580 --> 01:11:51.900
never know what's going on with that guy. Personally, I think

1171
01:11:51.900 --> 01:11:57.520
this was a him issue. Whatever reason, I don't like again, we

1172
01:11:57.520 --> 01:12:00.480
don't know his story. We don't know what's going on in his

1173
01:12:00.480 --> 01:12:04.260
head. We don't know what we don't know. We don't know what

1174
01:12:04.260 --> 01:12:07.860
he hasn't shared with you. Right? You never know that you

1175
01:12:07.860 --> 01:12:10.340
guys have only been on three dates, you still don't know him

1176
01:12:10.340 --> 01:12:16.560
well enough to really analyze what happened. And even if you

1177
01:12:16.560 --> 01:12:19.700
do go and have a conversation with him, you still don't know

1178
01:12:19.700 --> 01:12:22.660
well enough to know that he's even disclosing everything to

1179
01:12:22.160 --> 01:12:29.600
you. Right? But what we're here in this community, and coaching

1180
01:12:29.600 --> 01:12:37.500
you on is your heart. What emotions, feelings, thoughts,

1181
01:12:38.240 --> 01:12:41.880
beliefs are coming up in you? And what does God want you to

1182
01:12:42.040 --> 01:12:47.260
know? And what does he want you to heal? So that's my, my focus

1183
01:12:47.260 --> 01:12:52.320
is there. As your coach, that's where my focus is going to be.

1184
01:12:52.840 --> 01:12:57.620
So what thoughts, emotions, feelings are surfacing in you?

1185
01:12:58.720 --> 01:13:01.560
That's making you feel this like heavyweight.

1186
01:13:04.060 --> 01:13:09.420
I guess one thing is that on the one hand, I feel like with each

1187
01:13:09.420 --> 01:13:12.980
new experience, it's like the Lord is showing me that he's

1188
01:13:12.980 --> 01:13:16.660
giving me some discernment and that I can, you know, trust my

1189
01:13:16.660 --> 01:13:19.380
gut in terms of like, when I feel like something is off, like

1190
01:13:19.380 --> 01:13:23.160
the guy before this, I wasn't, I was pushing myself because I was

1191
01:13:23.160 --> 01:13:26.960
trying to be open minded. And I was trying to, but I didn't feel

1192
01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:29.340
the attraction, I felt like there was something off there.

1193
01:13:29.560 --> 01:13:34.640
And honestly, even with this guy, I was trying, I am getting

1194
01:13:34.680 --> 01:13:39.000
overwhelmed by like, is this am I going by the rules? Is this

1195
01:13:39.000 --> 01:13:41.900
what I'm supposed to do? Is this right? Is this not? And so

1196
01:13:42.140 --> 01:13:46.400
I'm like, in my head a lot about it. And so I was, I was really

1197
01:13:46.400 --> 01:13:49.960
challenged this time with this, like letting things flow with

1198
01:13:49.960 --> 01:13:53.120
just like letting the good things be good things without

1199
01:13:53.160 --> 01:13:56.680
overthinking them to death, without, you know, trying to

1200
01:13:56.680 --> 01:14:01.680
pump the brakes too fast. And the thing is that I feel like,

1201
01:14:02.400 --> 01:14:07.560
because of that, I, I let myself kind of get emotionally invested

1202
01:14:07.560 --> 01:14:11.380
or like excited. So I guess just what I'm feeling is that

1203
01:14:11.380 --> 01:14:15.700
I'm afraid to be excited, because I'm afraid to get my my

1204
01:14:15.700 --> 01:14:20.560
hopes up. And even though I do feel like there's a sense of

1205
01:14:20.620 --> 01:14:24.800
like, I can tell when something's off, and that anxiety

1206
01:14:24.800 --> 01:14:28.080
starts, and I really feel that the Lord has been teaching me in

1207
01:14:28.080 --> 01:14:34.960
this season, that that he is where peace and calm are, and

1208
01:14:34.960 --> 01:14:40.600
where anxiety is, it's not from the Lord. And so I, I have

1209
01:14:41.380 --> 01:14:45.280
determined in my heart that my spirit mate is not going to

1210
01:14:46.240 --> 01:14:50.540
give me anxiety in that way, right? There might, you know,

1211
01:14:51.160 --> 01:14:54.120
maybe a little uncertainty at the beginning, because you don't

1212
01:14:54.120 --> 01:14:56.940
know somebody, but it's not going to feel like, like, I was

1213
01:14:56.940 --> 01:14:59.980
sick, y'all. I've been sick, like I can't eat, you know.

1214
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.020
because it just I have and it's not it's not about the guy I'm not obsessing over him I don't know

1215
01:15:07.020 --> 01:15:14.260
him that well it's not about him it's about it's it's the whole experience and the whole process

1216
01:15:14.260 --> 01:15:23.980
of like I want to be I want to be vulnerable and I want to be hopeful and I want to be joyful but

1217
01:15:23.980 --> 01:15:34.300
I'm also struggling with the fear that when I do that then I have to also like in my head I'm ready

1218
01:15:34.520 --> 01:15:39.720
for rationally I'm like okay there's a possibility of disappointment here like and it's gonna be okay

1219
01:15:40.480 --> 01:15:46.040
because that guy just wasn't your spirit mate and and you know the lord is fighting for you

1220
01:15:46.040 --> 01:15:49.820
and he's just gonna get him out of the way really quickly because he's not the one for you

1221
01:15:49.820 --> 01:15:51.820
but then there's also that very

1222
01:15:54.840 --> 01:16:02.420
human part of me that's like nah girl that's not gonna feel good like you don't know don't

1223
01:16:02.420 --> 01:16:06.460
take that risk that's you're you're gonna have to deal with the disappointment and like

1224
01:16:07.100 --> 01:16:12.220
this is not this exact situation but it's happened before where I'm like oh I got excited and then

1225
01:16:12.220 --> 01:16:18.180
I take a day or two and the more it happens the more I'm able to recover more quickly

1226
01:16:19.500 --> 01:16:28.320
but it's still like dang okay all right I think I think I'm kind of getting some direction here

1227
01:16:28.320 --> 01:16:33.100
where we can take this with heartwork okay so you said this has happened before I'm guessing

1228
01:16:33.100 --> 01:16:39.800
are you kind of talking about past relationships no just in in in my journey of like being single

1229
01:16:39.800 --> 01:16:46.640
and like dating I'm gonna take this we're gonna I have a feeling there's a bigger layer here

1230
01:16:48.180 --> 01:16:55.280
this has nothing to do about being single so I want you to spend some time in a minute okay and

1231
01:16:55.280 --> 01:17:00.280
so this might take some vulnerability on your part if you know if you want to be open with us

1232
01:17:00.280 --> 01:17:06.100
or not totally totally up to you if you need time to process before that's fine too

1233
01:17:08.700 --> 01:17:11.740
what is the earliest memory that you have

1234
01:17:12.920 --> 01:17:20.660
of feeling like when you were joyful or excited that you were left down and disappointed in your

1235
01:17:20.660 --> 01:17:29.980
life like I'm thinking childhood was there a time in your childhood yeah listen my myself with my

1236
01:17:29.980 --> 01:17:36.560
parents is not great my I'm rebuilding I'm trying but my relationship with my dad is very fraught

1237
01:17:36.560 --> 01:17:41.720
very nuanced there's a lot of trauma there and my parents were teenagers when I was a kid so

1238
01:17:41.720 --> 01:17:47.220
I know I know I have I've been working on healing the abandonment stuff and I've been working on

1239
01:17:47.220 --> 01:17:56.040
healing the rejection stuff and the forgiveness stuff it's it's an ongoing I know that it comes

1240
01:17:56.040 --> 01:18:02.580
from there and then my two significant romantic relationships in my adulthood you know I've also

1241
01:18:02.880 --> 01:18:10.960
been you know be with betrayal and and just being abandoned and and you know so it just yes I

1242
01:18:10.960 --> 01:18:16.100
recognize that this brings that up because it's almost like it's not so much about him but it's

1243
01:18:16.380 --> 01:18:25.760
about like what happened you know like what did I do and I know that's bad okay

1244
01:18:28.320 --> 01:18:29.280
just feel it

1245
01:18:31.940 --> 01:18:33.360
this is the space

1246
01:18:40.960 --> 01:18:46.200
I've been working on coming out of agreement that my extended singleness has been my fault

1247
01:18:46.200 --> 01:18:52.580
that there's something that I'm doing I know that there's a cultural belief that you get to be a

1248
01:18:52.580 --> 01:18:56.080
certain age and you've never been married and you've never had children and it's like

1249
01:18:56.860 --> 01:19:04.380
why isn't somebody choosing you like you have to look at what's wrong with you and I'm taking

1250
01:19:04.380 --> 01:19:10.900
accountability for the things that I feel I feel that fear has kept me from you know being

1251
01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:19.340
putting myself out there but it's also like there have been times where like in my spirit

1252
01:19:19.340 --> 01:19:25.260
God has been like no like I've been saving you for me or like I've been protecting you I've been

1253
01:19:25.260 --> 01:19:31.740
keeping you safe and I'm trying to find that sweet spot between both of those things where

1254
01:19:31.740 --> 01:19:36.860
I'm taking accountability and where I'm also trusting that it's just God's timing and how he's

1255
01:19:36.860 --> 01:19:37.460
working

1256
01:19:40.140 --> 01:19:46.920
let me ask you this you're holding on to this unbelief that again you're trying to let go of

1257
01:19:46.920 --> 01:19:52.920
this like it's my fault that I'm single but let's go back to the abandonment and the rejection

1258
01:19:53.780 --> 01:19:57.220
with your parents that were teens and your father

1259
01:20:00.620 --> 01:20:06.840
Did your parents abandon and reject you, and is there some abandonment with your dad, and

1260
01:20:06.840 --> 01:20:08.100
did you feel like it was your fault?

1261
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:19.480
Yeah, my dad is not a healthy person, and he was very vocal very much about like, you

1262
01:20:21.560 --> 01:20:28.260
know, I just always felt like I know that one of my things that I worked in hard work

1263
01:20:28.260 --> 01:20:31.720
is the fact that I felt like I had to earn people's approval.

1264
01:20:33.260 --> 01:20:39.400
And you know, it turned into becoming an adult who was a perfectionist and couldn't handle

1265
01:20:39.400 --> 01:20:45.380
criticism and was very sensitive about everything because I felt like I was doing everything

1266
01:20:45.380 --> 01:20:48.060
that I could to earn people's love.

1267
01:20:48.940 --> 01:20:49.580
Yeah.

1268
01:20:52.340 --> 01:20:53.800
You don't have to earn love.

1269
01:20:54.660 --> 01:20:59.140
I know, like you told me that, like when you told me that in the first, like I didn't have

1270
01:20:59.140 --> 01:21:05.020
to earn, like God wasn't going to make me earn my spirit mate, you know, and so that

1271
01:21:05.020 --> 01:21:06.560
has helped me in a lot of ways.

1272
01:21:06.900 --> 01:21:20.440
And again, I've been trying to do it correctly, and I think, I know there's a part of me that

1273
01:21:20.440 --> 01:21:26.400
I know that it wasn't something that I did, but then I wonder if because I was vulnerable

1274
01:21:26.400 --> 01:21:32.460
or because I, you know, let him know that I liked him, like maybe I shouldn't have.

1275
01:21:33.400 --> 01:21:41.120
Maybe I, I don't know, maybe I encouraged something that I shouldn't have.

1276
01:21:42.900 --> 01:21:48.720
And I think it is, again, it's, you're working on the forgiveness stuff, and that's been

1277
01:21:48.720 --> 01:21:49.140
hard.

1278
01:21:49.580 --> 01:21:54.680
Is the hard forgiveness stuff, like you trying to forgive your, your parents?

1279
01:21:57.400 --> 01:22:03.460
I mean, that's an ongoing thing, right, because I think one of the comments that I made once

1280
01:22:03.460 --> 01:22:06.600
that I was like, I feel like, why do I have to keep rehashing this?

1281
01:22:06.900 --> 01:22:08.760
Like, why do I have to keep coming back to this?

1282
01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:13.320
And you challenged me to think of why do you feel like you have to keep bringing it up?

1283
01:22:14.000 --> 01:22:14.480
Okay.

1284
01:22:15.320 --> 01:22:19.560
What if it's not forgiving your parents?

1285
01:22:21.980 --> 01:22:26.840
What if it's having to forgive this idea that it was yourself?

1286
01:22:29.140 --> 01:22:35.480
Have you, and I think one of the most challenging things and what I've even had to experience

1287
01:22:35.480 --> 01:22:40.100
and sometimes I have to deal with, and I think there's probably a lot of you that are on

1288
01:22:40.100 --> 01:22:42.300
this call will probably relate to this as well.

1289
01:22:43.220 --> 01:22:47.620
It's one thing to forgive people in our life that have hurt us.

1290
01:22:50.020 --> 01:22:53.840
It's, I've almost in my 42 years, I've almost learned that.

1291
01:22:54.040 --> 01:22:59.660
And like, it's, it feels a lot easier as we get older to almost at times, forgive people

1292
01:23:00.460 --> 01:23:02.980
that have hurt us because we can kind of separate it.

1293
01:23:03.720 --> 01:23:06.720
It's a lot harder when we have to forgive ourselves.

1294
01:23:07.940 --> 01:23:08.420
Yeah.

1295
01:23:08.560 --> 01:23:13.940
And I guess that's why it feels that each time it's like a failure and it's like, but

1296
01:23:13.940 --> 01:23:18.120
I think, but I don't want you, but what I want to make sure that I'm sharing with you

1297
01:23:18.120 --> 01:23:25.980
and I want you to hear this clearly is it's not that you have to forgive yourself that

1298
01:23:25.980 --> 01:23:27.160
you did anything wrong.

1299
01:23:27.300 --> 01:23:31.680
It's the fact that you feel like you've done something wrong and you've been punishing

1300
01:23:32.260 --> 01:23:34.680
yourself for feeling like you've done something wrong.

1301
01:23:35.420 --> 01:23:37.940
You've been putting it out on you.

1302
01:23:39.400 --> 01:23:43.860
You've been holding yourself of trying to do this all on your own.

1303
01:23:45.000 --> 01:23:48.940
I have to do it correctly, like I'm trying to do it correctly.

1304
01:23:50.860 --> 01:23:53.720
I, I, I.

1305
01:23:56.320 --> 01:23:58.100
Stephanie, you don't have to do it.

1306
01:24:02.380 --> 01:24:16.640
I want you to picture laying at his feet, spend some time journaling all these things

1307
01:24:16.640 --> 01:24:28.960
that you've built up in your head, these lies that the enemy has fed you that it was

1308
01:24:28.900 --> 01:24:31.460
you, you didn't do this right.

1309
01:24:31.620 --> 01:24:33.020
You aren't doing it correctly.

1310
01:24:33.880 --> 01:24:35.440
You, you didn't earn the approval.

1311
01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:37.260
You didn't do this to get the love.

1312
01:24:37.720 --> 01:24:43.160
It's your fault because that those are all from the pit of hell.

1313
01:24:48.460 --> 01:24:54.820
If you're operating and trying to do things for you and yourself, that's it.

1314
01:24:56.420 --> 01:24:57.660
We can't.

1315
01:24:58.680 --> 01:24:59.980
That's where the struggle is.

1316
01:25:03.860 --> 01:25:11.100
I just feel like in so many years where I, you know, all I did was work, I didn't make

1317
01:25:11.100 --> 01:25:14.500
an effort, I didn't put myself out there, I didn't try.

1318
01:25:15.520 --> 01:25:25.240
And then I got to, you know, being almost 40 years old and I feel like I was just waiting

1319
01:25:25.240 --> 01:25:25.740
on God.

1320
01:25:25.740 --> 01:25:31.400
And I was just letting him figure it out and I didn't do anything about it.

1321
01:25:31.460 --> 01:25:38.220
Well, but you were also, but remember you, you had this fear that was holding you back.

1322
01:25:39.440 --> 01:25:45.140
Like you told me, you couldn't get excited, you couldn't have joy because fear was robbing

1323
01:25:45.140 --> 01:25:46.220
you of that.

1324
01:25:47.160 --> 01:25:48.840
And that's not your fault.

1325
01:25:52.300 --> 01:25:53.460
That's what trauma does.

1326
01:25:54.840 --> 01:25:55.900
That's what it does.

1327
01:25:55.960 --> 01:25:56.920
That's what the enemy does.

1328
01:25:57.280 --> 01:26:04.540
He uses these traumatic things and he lies to us about that and has us operating in this

1329
01:26:04.540 --> 01:26:08.140
fear so that we don't step into our full potential.

1330
01:26:08.980 --> 01:26:15.760
He's keeping us from unlocking God's divine purpose in our life.

1331
01:26:15.760 --> 01:26:24.160
And now that you're sitting here in this moment, especially in this moment where you're on

1332
01:26:24.160 --> 01:26:32.140
the brink and you're on that tipping point of unlocking, he's going to want to come.

1333
01:26:33.180 --> 01:26:35.180
But remember that siege is over, Stephanie.

1334
01:26:37.160 --> 01:26:37.800
It's over.

1335
01:26:41.140 --> 01:26:43.460
He does not have the power.

1336
01:26:46.980 --> 01:26:48.820
Don't need to carry that.

1337
01:26:49.820 --> 01:26:51.340
You laid that at his feet.

1338
01:26:52.760 --> 01:26:54.060
You give that to him.

1339
01:26:55.500 --> 01:27:00.940
You can't beat yourself up because you didn't know what you didn't know.

1340
01:27:02.920 --> 01:27:04.080
You didn't.

1341
01:27:12.720 --> 01:27:15.240
And it's okay to forgive yourself for that.

1342
01:27:16.900 --> 01:27:19.540
And God is here to redeem that.

1343
01:27:22.940 --> 01:27:26.480
And he even said, as soon as I said that, Kim said, he's a redeemer.

1344
01:27:26.480 --> 01:27:29.880
So I know that he is speaking.

1345
01:27:30.700 --> 01:27:34.100
Because if I'm saying it and someone was typing at that very moment, he wants you to know

1346
01:27:34.100 --> 01:27:36.160
he is going to redeem this story for you.

1347
01:27:37.580 --> 01:27:40.000
I fully, fully believe that.

1348
01:27:41.180 --> 01:27:41.500
Thank you.

1349
01:27:42.020 --> 01:27:44.180
You're 40 years old?

1350
01:27:44.980 --> 01:27:46.000
I'm 37.

1351
01:27:46.940 --> 01:27:47.120
Okay.

1352
01:27:47.220 --> 01:27:47.560
Oh, girl.

1353
01:27:48.060 --> 01:27:49.320
Girl, I got married.

1354
01:27:49.420 --> 01:27:51.000
I got engaged at 40 years old.

1355
01:27:51.540 --> 01:27:51.920
Okay.

1356
01:27:51.920 --> 01:27:52.720
Okay.

1357
01:27:52.720 --> 01:27:58.140
So, okay, I was never married until I was 40 years old.

1358
01:27:58.380 --> 01:27:58.720
Okay.

1359
01:28:00.400 --> 01:28:01.500
And I had a son.

1360
01:28:02.620 --> 01:28:03.680
I did.

1361
01:28:03.760 --> 01:28:08.880
But I will tell you, that is even been a big struggle.

1362
01:28:09.400 --> 01:28:09.700
Okay.

1363
01:28:09.700 --> 01:28:13.100
Now God, again, use that hardship in my life.

1364
01:28:14.080 --> 01:28:20.500
And that trauma that I experienced that led me there, he blessed me with an amazing son.

1365
01:28:22.300 --> 01:28:26.740
But to sit here and tell you that it's been easy, it hasn't.

1366
01:28:27.280 --> 01:28:27.940
It's been a road.

1367
01:28:28.640 --> 01:28:28.640


1368
01:28:30.360 --> 01:28:31.460
It's been a road.

1369
01:28:31.880 --> 01:28:36.220
And even blending a family with all of those things, it's a road.

1370
01:28:36.640 --> 01:28:37.980
But God is good.

1371
01:28:39.000 --> 01:28:43.600
And God works everything out for good.

1372
01:28:43.900 --> 01:28:52.320
Anything that the enemy means to use against us, God doesn't allow.

1373
01:28:52.680 --> 01:28:56.760
He will come and restore it and redeem it and reconcile it all.

1374
01:28:56.760 --> 01:29:08.040
And you are operating in this space of fear because trauma happened to you.

1375
01:29:10.440 --> 01:29:17.240
You can't beat yourself up for something that you just didn't know that you were just doing what you thought you knew best.

1376
01:29:18.680 --> 01:29:20.160
Work, right?

1377
01:29:20.580 --> 01:29:20.600
Grind.

1378
01:29:20.600 --> 01:29:27.940
Do what you could to make you feel like, okay, I'm going to make something of myself.

1379
01:29:28.200 --> 01:29:29.940
This is how I do it.

1380
01:29:30.160 --> 01:29:30.440
Right?

1381
01:29:31.080 --> 01:29:31.480
Yeah.

1382
01:29:31.960 --> 01:29:33.180
I did the same thing.

1383
01:29:35.100 --> 01:29:36.620
I'm going to just make up for it.

1384
01:29:36.620 --> 01:29:37.980
I'm going to go out and be the best person.

1385
01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:38.660
I'm going to do this.

1386
01:29:38.720 --> 01:29:39.420
I'm going to do that.

1387
01:29:39.600 --> 01:29:42.500
I'm not going to fuss with this because God's just going to bring me a husband.

1388
01:29:44.960 --> 01:29:46.380
And then I joined this community.

1389
01:29:46.900 --> 01:29:52.360
And Jackie's like, you got to put feet on your prayers.

1390
01:29:52.680 --> 01:29:55.400
And I was like, I mean, I can't tell you.

1391
01:29:55.760 --> 01:29:57.880
I mean, and I think I shared this a couple weeks ago.

1392
01:29:57.880 --> 01:29:59.900
I can't tell you how many times Jackie offended me.

1393
01:30:01.420 --> 01:30:10.920
She did, and I love her, and she knows I love her, and you know, we joke about it, but you

1394
01:30:10.920 --> 01:30:17.020
didn't know what you didn't know, and it's okay, and God's going to come and restore

1395
01:30:17.020 --> 01:30:26.100
that for you, and he's got a beautiful love story written, and your testimony of what

1396
01:30:26.100 --> 01:30:35.940
he does in your love story is going to bring hope and encouragement for so many others.

1397
01:30:38.500 --> 01:30:44.000
I mean, we can't have a revival of marriages and a tidal wave of marriages if we don't

1398
01:30:44.000 --> 01:30:51.180
have people in kingdom getting married and sharing their testimony, and Stephanie, you

1399
01:30:51.180 --> 01:30:53.060
will share your testimony of your love story.

1400
01:30:53.620 --> 01:31:00.160
Every single one of you on this call and in this community, I want you to take hold of

1401
01:31:00.160 --> 01:31:00.560
that.

1402
01:31:01.600 --> 01:31:09.760
You are here because your love story matters, and it is a testimony to be shared that is

1403
01:31:09.760 --> 01:31:13.180
going to bring the revival and tidal wave of kingdom marriages.

1404
01:31:16.220 --> 01:31:20.340
Don't let the enemy lie to you.

1405
01:31:21.000 --> 01:31:21.740
The siege is over.

1406
01:31:23.500 --> 01:31:25.320
He doesn't get that anymore.

1407
01:31:29.100 --> 01:31:31.120
We are going to come out of agreement with that.

1408
01:31:31.800 --> 01:31:33.820
There is an anointing on this movement.

1409
01:31:34.240 --> 01:31:36.020
We just celebrated five years.

1410
01:31:36.460 --> 01:31:41.800
There is favor and grace on this community, and we've got so much more ahead of us, and

1411
01:31:41.800 --> 01:31:44.480
we are going to make things move.

1412
01:31:47.860 --> 01:31:49.020
Y'all, we just getting started.

1413
01:31:52.260 --> 01:31:55.060
We are just getting started.

1414
01:31:58.860 --> 01:32:04.920
So all of that discouragement that the enemy has been trying to bring you or hold you in,

1415
01:32:05.060 --> 01:32:07.560
he's been surrounding you with, no, we're letting that go.

1416
01:32:07.560 --> 01:32:08.560
No more.

1417
01:32:11.980 --> 01:32:14.200
All right, Laura was there down in Austin.

1418
01:32:15.840 --> 01:32:21.920
It was powerful, y'all, very, very powerful.

1419
01:32:23.760 --> 01:32:29.900
God is on this, and he is doing something, okay?

1420
01:32:31.560 --> 01:32:36.080
And usually when he's about to do something, it's, you know, the enemy wants to kind of

1421
01:32:36.080 --> 01:32:40.480
come in and start, you know, feeding us these lies and getting us, you know, confused and

1422
01:32:40.480 --> 01:32:42.600
getting us discouraged and all that kind of stuff.

1423
01:32:42.640 --> 01:32:43.580
No, we're not.

1424
01:32:43.720 --> 01:32:44.820
We're not doing that.

1425
01:32:44.920 --> 01:32:50.360
We're taking our inheritance because he's already promised that, and that's what we're

1426
01:32:50.360 --> 01:32:52.020
holding on to.

1427
01:32:55.100 --> 01:33:00.580
So Stephanie, he's got a love story for you.

1428
01:33:01.340 --> 01:33:06.480
There is reconciliation and redemption in your love story.

1429
01:33:07.520 --> 01:33:13.620
It's time to release the forgiveness over yourself because it wasn't your fault.

1430
01:33:15.020 --> 01:33:16.240
It wasn't your fault.

1431
01:33:18.240 --> 01:33:18.660
Thank you.

1432
01:33:20.180 --> 01:33:21.740
Thank you for letting me come on today.

1433
01:33:21.980 --> 01:33:22.420
Thank you.

1434
01:33:22.540 --> 01:33:22.960
Absolutely.

1435
01:33:23.680 --> 01:33:26.600
So ladies, again, this is what dating will do.

1436
01:33:26.600 --> 01:33:29.540
It will pull the heart things out, okay?

1437
01:33:31.060 --> 01:33:33.600
The heart work will come out.

1438
01:33:34.940 --> 01:33:38.360
You ladies will experience the datings, the ups and the downs.

1439
01:33:38.660 --> 01:33:41.760
I can't, I mean, I would love to tell you and I would love to sugarcoat it and say,

1440
01:33:41.880 --> 01:33:45.580
oh no, the dating is wonderful and, you know, you're going to meet all these wonderful men

1441
01:33:45.720 --> 01:33:47.300
and yeah, you will.

1442
01:33:47.540 --> 01:33:48.340
You will meet some.

1443
01:33:49.460 --> 01:33:50.960
It's not always going to be that way.

1444
01:33:53.260 --> 01:33:57.740
I mean, I'm not going to lie to you ladies, like just know I'm your sister.

1445
01:33:57.880 --> 01:33:58.960
That's not going to lie to you.

1446
01:33:59.040 --> 01:33:59.400
Okay.

1447
01:33:59.700 --> 01:34:03.520
I'm going to, I'm going to tell you the real, the raw, the, the, the real, uh, what is it?

1448
01:34:03.760 --> 01:34:05.060
The good, the bad, the ugly.

1449
01:34:05.240 --> 01:34:05.600
Okay.

1450
01:34:05.600 --> 01:34:06.960
I'm going to be your sister.

1451
01:34:07.840 --> 01:34:09.220
Like that's going to tell it to you.

1452
01:34:09.600 --> 01:34:09.860
Okay.

1453
01:34:09.860 --> 01:34:10.840
Cause I went through it.

1454
01:34:11.560 --> 01:34:12.280
I did.

1455
01:34:12.960 --> 01:34:15.200
I've been, I've been, Stephanie, I've been where you've been.

1456
01:34:15.200 --> 01:34:20.820
I have, I've been where y'all have been in those moments.

1457
01:34:21.720 --> 01:34:22.020
Okay.

1458
01:34:22.860 --> 01:34:27.020
So just know, I relate to you.

1459
01:34:27.300 --> 01:34:27.840
I get you.

1460
01:34:28.120 --> 01:34:31.200
And there is goodness on the other side.

1461
01:34:32.640 --> 01:34:33.260
All right.

1462
01:34:36.760 --> 01:34:42.140
But you're going to go through some of this stuff, but it's just to refine you.

1463
01:34:42.940 --> 01:34:45.500
And it's just to give you those layers of healing.

1464
01:34:46.840 --> 01:34:54.040
And it's going to be part of your love story and it's, it's going to be beautiful.

1465
01:34:54.200 --> 01:34:55.160
It really will.

1466
01:34:58.100 --> 01:34:59.980
So this is what I mean.

1467
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.120
When these dating situations happen, we're just uncovering other layers of heart work

1468
01:35:06.120 --> 01:35:07.400
that need to be released.

1469
01:35:08.540 --> 01:35:09.060
Okay?

1470
01:35:09.060 --> 01:35:15.540
Don't be afraid of it, and I know it can be scary, especially when we're coming here.

1471
01:35:15.800 --> 01:35:19.340
We might not know each other very well, but if you come here long enough, we're going

1472
01:35:19.340 --> 01:35:21.360
to get really close, okay?

1473
01:35:23.660 --> 01:35:28.000
I'll be one of the first ones to tell you, you all get to know me, all right?

1474
01:35:28.000 --> 01:35:31.140
I'm not typically one that will hold back, you know?

1475
01:35:31.520 --> 01:35:35.580
I'll let you guys get to know who I am in hopes that you all feel comfortable coming

1476
01:35:35.580 --> 01:35:37.060
to me, okay?

1477
01:35:37.140 --> 01:35:43.080
You can ask me anything, all right, because that's important.

1478
01:35:43.340 --> 01:35:50.700
We're a community here, and we got your back, and you all are going to have some amazing

1479
01:35:50.700 --> 01:35:57.600
marriages and some amazing testimony, and I mean, the revival of marriages is on us.

1480
01:35:57.600 --> 01:35:58.920
I'm just letting you know.

1481
01:36:00.680 --> 01:36:01.920
Like get ready.

1482
01:36:03.200 --> 01:36:12.040
Like five years ago, I thought things were powerful, like, y'all, like, it's going to

1483
01:36:12.040 --> 01:36:12.620
be awesome.

1484
01:36:13.080 --> 01:36:19.780
Like I thought it was awesome five years ago, oh, like, it's, the tidal wave hasn't even

1485
01:36:19.780 --> 01:36:20.020
come.

1486
01:36:20.100 --> 01:36:23.380
It's just been like a little, like, little short coming in.

1487
01:36:23.500 --> 01:36:25.760
We just, 1600 is nothing, okay?

1488
01:36:26.280 --> 01:36:33.660
We got way more coming, all right, so, all right, I'm going to get off my preaching box

1489
01:36:33.660 --> 01:36:34.440
right there.

1490
01:36:35.100 --> 01:36:39.600
I'm sorry that we're not getting to everybody, but Lori, I am going to, I want to get your

1491
01:36:39.600 --> 01:36:44.500
question because you're brand new, and then Leah, Kim, and Alicia, if you all can go in

1492
01:36:44.500 --> 01:36:47.900
the app, can you update us there, especially Leah?

1493
01:36:47.900 --> 01:36:52.020
I want to hear about your video call and what's going on with there, and if you've gotten

1494
01:36:52.020 --> 01:36:56.620
any live dates with those guys, Kim, I want to hear about your guy.

1495
01:36:57.360 --> 01:36:59.320
Give me a thumbs up if things are still going good.

1496
01:37:01.260 --> 01:37:06.640
Okay, good, you had me worried for a second, I'm like, oh, my gosh, okay, good, and then

1497
01:37:07.360 --> 01:37:10.980
Alicia, I haven't seen you in a while, so I definitely want an update from you as well,

1498
01:37:11.680 --> 01:37:14.100
so get in the app, okay?

1499
01:37:15.340 --> 01:37:17.420
Laura, welcome to phase two.

1500
01:37:17.700 --> 01:37:19.340
I saw you on camera in a moment ago.

1501
01:37:19.340 --> 01:37:21.380
It's good to see your face on video.

1502
01:37:22.720 --> 01:37:24.480
She disappeared on me.

1503
01:37:26.140 --> 01:37:26.600
Where'd you go?

1504
01:37:26.700 --> 01:37:27.820
There she is.

1505
01:37:28.660 --> 01:37:30.340
So good to see you.

1506
01:37:31.400 --> 01:37:36.060
I see, it's so nice that I recognize, like, now I get to recognize ladies that I've met.

1507
01:37:36.700 --> 01:37:37.560
So wonderful.

1508
01:37:38.480 --> 01:37:40.060
Do you have something short, brief, and powerful?

1509
01:37:43.740 --> 01:37:44.240
Yes.

1510
01:37:46.040 --> 01:37:54.600
I normally attend Ebony's session, but I will also post in there, because I have something

1511
01:37:54.600 --> 01:38:01.360
else going on this evening, but anyhow, yeah, so I had said in our group last week, because

1512
01:38:01.360 --> 01:38:08.600
I'm not on apps, and the evening before going to Austin, so, like, that Wednesday evening,

1513
01:38:08.600 --> 01:38:13.180
I was, like, texting some friends that we used to go to church with, and I just happened

1514
01:38:13.840 --> 01:38:18.240
to think, I'm like, oh, I'm going to ask them if they happen to know of anyone that they

1515
01:38:18.240 --> 01:38:23.340
would recommend that I meet, and so, like, the husband, he, like, initially, he said

1516
01:38:23.340 --> 01:38:27.440
that he didn't think he did, but then he, like, texted me back, like, shortly after

1517
01:38:27.440 --> 01:38:30.080
that, and he's like, oh, yeah, there's a guy named David.

1518
01:38:30.200 --> 01:38:31.280
He's also in his 50s.

1519
01:38:31.280 --> 01:38:39.700
I turned 57, October 26, and he's never been married, and so I was, like, well, I'm going

1520
01:38:39.700 --> 01:38:43.900
to go to their church on Sunday, like, and I told my friend, because he called me, like,

1521
01:38:43.900 --> 01:38:48.500
last Wednesday evening or whatever, and he's, like, he wanted to, like, kind of, like, figure

1522
01:38:48.500 --> 01:38:52.000
out, like, how it was all going to go, and I'm, like, well, you're not going to introduce

1523
01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:56.020
me and say, like, oh, yeah, Laura's dating and all this stuff, and she's interested in

1524
01:38:56.020 --> 01:38:56.700
meeting you and blah, blah, blah.

1525
01:38:56.740 --> 01:39:00.700
I'm, like, no, we're just going to meet, and it's just going to be super casual and whatever,

1526
01:39:00.700 --> 01:39:09.040
and so anyhow, and so I get to church, and my friend wasn't there yet, but he showed

1527
01:39:09.040 --> 01:39:14.860
up shortly after I was there, so I did meet this David, and I was actually sitting in

1528
01:39:14.860 --> 01:39:20.800
the row, like, right in front of him, and his mom goes to church there, too, and, like,

1529
01:39:21.380 --> 01:39:22.100
I don't know.

1530
01:39:22.160 --> 01:39:25.600
I started to smell, like, this odor or whatever.

1531
01:39:26.160 --> 01:39:30.820
It's just, like, a body odor, like, that he doesn't bathe frequently enough or whatever,

1532
01:39:30.880 --> 01:39:37.000
and I was, like, that's, like, a super turn-off, like, well, maybe that's part of the reason

1533
01:39:37.000 --> 01:39:37.940
why he's never been married.

1534
01:39:38.380 --> 01:39:39.240
I see, Kim.

1535
01:39:39.420 --> 01:39:39.700
Hold on.

1536
01:39:39.700 --> 01:39:39.700


1537
01:39:39.700 --> 01:39:41.420
I mean, I did meet him, and he's a nice man.

1538
01:39:41.480 --> 01:39:44.980
He teaches, like, the young kids' classes at their church or whatever, and I'm, like,

1539
01:39:45.400 --> 01:39:52.060
but I'm, like, no, and then, so I also saw, like, my friend's daughter, and she's married

1540
01:39:52.060 --> 01:39:56.420
and has two kids, and she was, like, I've known her since she was really small, and

1541
01:39:56.420 --> 01:39:59.980
now, like, her kids are, like, I don't know, like, toddlers or whatever.

1542
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.020
her. And so but she was very sweet. She knew me when I was

1543
01:40:03.020 --> 01:40:06.740
married. She knows the ex and whatever. And, and, like, I

1544
01:40:06.740 --> 01:40:09.980
hadn't seen her probably like in 20 years. And she's like, Oh,

1545
01:40:09.980 --> 01:40:13.260
my gosh, Laura, you look so amazing and whatever. And so

1546
01:40:13.260 --> 01:40:16.200
like, I appreciate like, just her, like, building me up or

1547
01:40:16.000 --> 01:40:18.540
whatever. And then as I was leaving church, I'm like,

1548
01:40:18.780 --> 01:40:21.480
because it takes me like an hour to drive to where this church is.

1549
01:40:21.660 --> 01:40:23.960
And so like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and I coming out of

1550
01:40:23.960 --> 01:40:28.000
the bathroom, and David was like, by the bathroom, was

1551
01:40:28.000 --> 01:40:31.660
coming out. And he's like, Oh, it's nice meeting you or

1552
01:40:31.660 --> 01:40:33.840
whatever. But then I was like, super confused. Because I'm

1553
01:40:33.840 --> 01:40:36.340
like, this dude goes to this church, and he was about ready

1554
01:40:36.340 --> 01:40:41.320
to go into the ladies bathroom. Is he just super confused?

1555
01:40:41.320 --> 01:40:43.280
Because I like walked by and like,

1556
01:40:45.140 --> 01:40:48.540
do you think it was just like, do you think your friend like

1557
01:40:48.840 --> 01:40:51.320
told him? And then he was maybe awkward?

1558
01:40:53.080 --> 01:40:57.960
No, I don't think so. I think maybe he was just, I don't

1559
01:40:57.960 --> 01:41:00.780
know, kind of flustered that I don't like, like came out of

1560
01:41:00.780 --> 01:41:03.780
the ladies bathroom. And then he like, I really have no idea.

1561
01:41:03.880 --> 01:41:08.160
But it was just super, like, weird. I was like, dude, and I

1562
01:41:08.160 --> 01:41:10.320
didn't say anything to him about it, like going to like, or

1563
01:41:10.320 --> 01:41:12.600
almost going to ladies bathroom. I'm like, he'll figure it out.

1564
01:41:13.740 --> 01:41:15.300
Oh, my word. That's funny.

1565
01:41:16.460 --> 01:41:19.920
I was like, um, no, that's obviously not going to be like

1566
01:41:19.920 --> 01:41:24.960
something that'll like, become anything for me. I just I just

1567
01:41:25.640 --> 01:41:28.660
don't know why I prefer like her like,

1568
01:41:29.500 --> 01:41:34.700
and Kim laughed because we had a couple weeks ago. She had a

1569
01:41:34.700 --> 01:41:37.500
question of the guy that she's been dating. And she was

1570
01:41:37.500 --> 01:41:42.200
nervous that he just he had this smell. And she's like, I don't

1571
01:41:42.200 --> 01:41:46.980
know how to address this. But it was just a fluke. It was just a

1572
01:41:46.980 --> 01:41:52.200
one off. And he just probably needed extra deodorant that day.

1573
01:41:52.200 --> 01:41:56.840
And so but that's what I just thought it reminded me of that

1574
01:41:56.840 --> 01:42:01.460
when she said that and she had to she was laughing. So um, but

1575
01:42:01.460 --> 01:42:06.100
yeah, like, we don't we don't want Well, yeah, cuz like, I'm

1576
01:42:06.100 --> 01:42:09.000
anticipating like them asking me like what I thought about him.

1577
01:42:09.240 --> 01:42:14.360
And I might say like, or I might even ask them like if they've

1578
01:42:14.360 --> 01:42:17.600
ever noticed that because maybe it was just me. I have no idea

1579
01:42:17.600 --> 01:42:20.900
or whatever. But um, I mean, I wasn't sitting even close to

1580
01:42:21.460 --> 01:42:23.480
sitting like in the road, like right in front of him. So it

1581
01:42:23.480 --> 01:42:26.100
wasn't like we were sitting right next to each other. When I

1582
01:42:26.180 --> 01:42:28.020
noticed this odor or whatever.

1583
01:42:30.740 --> 01:42:31.900
Talks that day.

1584
01:42:34.380 --> 01:42:37.840
I don't know. But yeah, I mean, if it's something that like, is

1585
01:42:37.840 --> 01:42:41.780
like an ongoing thing, I was gonna say like, kind of like, to

1586
01:42:41.780 --> 01:42:45.680
my friend, the husband, like, maybe you might want to comment

1587
01:42:45.680 --> 01:42:46.860
about that.

1588
01:42:49.340 --> 01:42:52.460
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so sometimes, yeah, we do have to

1589
01:42:52.460 --> 01:42:55.360
get grace. But hey, I love the fact you know, God is moving.

1590
01:42:55.720 --> 01:43:00.140
You're you're getting some introductions there. It's always

1591
01:42:59.940 --> 01:43:05.520
good. Like get put it into practice. Start flexing that,

1592
01:43:06.040 --> 01:43:11.480
you know, dating muscle. And yeah. Because

1593
01:43:11.480 --> 01:43:15.320
Oh, and then Saturday evening, I'm also going to it's like a

1594
01:43:15.320 --> 01:43:18.300
lot luck with this, like meetup group that I'm a part of. So

1595
01:43:18.340 --> 01:43:19.600
we'll see what happens there.

1596
01:43:19.880 --> 01:43:23.480
And ladies, I like that, too. So Laura is not on dating apps

1597
01:43:23.480 --> 01:43:26.020
right now. But she is putting herself out there. So I know

1598
01:43:26.020 --> 01:43:30.220
some of us don't love the apps. Totally get it. I didn't love

1599
01:43:30.220 --> 01:43:34.260
them either. Which if you're if you really are like, okay, no, I

1600
01:43:34.260 --> 01:43:38.160
really just am not ready to do the apps. We're not gonna force

1601
01:43:38.160 --> 01:43:41.260
you to do them. Okay, now we might push you a little bit to

1602
01:43:41.260 --> 01:43:46.160
kind of figure out why you don't want to, and just take

1603
01:43:46.160 --> 01:43:48.940
that to the Lord. But if you're not, we're not gonna force you

1604
01:43:48.940 --> 01:43:51.840
to do it. But if you're not going to do it, we're also going

1605
01:43:51.840 --> 01:43:55.060
to want to know what are you doing to put yourself out there?

1606
01:43:55.200 --> 01:43:57.780
Are you doing meetup groups? Are you letting people know? Hey,

1607
01:43:58.140 --> 01:44:01.960
set me up? Are you going and having just like conversations

1608
01:44:01.960 --> 01:44:04.820
with people at the grocery store? And ladies, you can have

1609
01:44:05.420 --> 01:44:10.900
conversations with women, like on walks, have conversations

1610
01:44:10.900 --> 01:44:16.420
with them. Make a friend. That woman might have a brother of

1611
01:44:16.420 --> 01:44:19.740
our local Chamber of Commerce and part of our local Rotary

1612
01:44:19.640 --> 01:44:27.240
club. And and also, so I went to a mixer that was like with like

1613
01:44:27.240 --> 01:44:30.520
three other like, Chambers of Commerce on Thursday evening.

1614
01:44:31.140 --> 01:44:35.880
And and I ran into this guy that I met a month ago. And when he

1615
01:44:35.900 --> 01:44:38.760
first like, approached me on Thursday evening, like I had

1616
01:44:38.760 --> 01:44:40.500
like totally forgotten about having this conversation with

1617
01:44:40.500 --> 01:44:44.620
him. But um, I mean, he's he's a very attractive man. And I

1618
01:44:44.620 --> 01:44:46.700
don't know if he's single or whatever. But we had like an

1619
01:44:46.700 --> 01:44:52.360
awesome conversation. And, and then also, there is a single man

1620
01:44:52.360 --> 01:44:56.400
in my Rotary club. His name is Wade. And he's very nice. He

1621
01:44:56.400 --> 01:44:59.260
always like talks to me. I'm like our secretary. So I like

1622
01:44:59.280 --> 01:44:59.980
check people

1623
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:01.580
into our meetings that we have on Mondays.

1624
01:45:01.980 --> 01:45:04.260
And yeah, every time he sees me at our meetings.

1625
01:45:05.160 --> 01:45:06.160
Get to know him a little better.

1626
01:45:06.960 --> 01:45:07.140
Right.

1627
01:45:07.360 --> 01:45:09.520
Drop a hanky if you feel like it.

1628
01:45:10.220 --> 01:45:11.700
You know, and then if he isn't for you,

1629
01:45:12.740 --> 01:45:14.300
you got your sisters here.

1630
01:45:14.520 --> 01:45:16.200
I mean, you were there, you heard Jackie.

1631
01:45:17.060 --> 01:45:17.660
Community-based matchmaking.

1632
01:45:19.020 --> 01:45:23.900
Like, I'm telling you, like, let's get ahold of that one.

1633
01:45:24.760 --> 01:45:27.360
Because I totally, like, we all

1634
01:45:27.360 --> 01:45:29.140
will be looking out for each other.

1635
01:45:29.280 --> 01:45:30.060
All right.

1636
01:45:30.120 --> 01:45:32.620
And don't think that I don't got my eyes out

1637
01:45:32.620 --> 01:45:34.180
for you ladies, too.

1638
01:45:34.440 --> 01:45:37.520
So for any of you who want to come to DFW area.

1639
01:45:39.520 --> 01:45:39.560
Hello.

1640
01:45:39.920 --> 01:45:40.400
Go put them out.

1641
01:45:40.520 --> 01:45:42.040
Yep, Sam, I got you, girl.

1642
01:45:42.200 --> 01:45:43.020
And I'm your age.

1643
01:45:43.020 --> 01:45:43.420
I got you.

1644
01:45:43.420 --> 01:45:44.580
We're the same age, practically.

1645
01:45:45.300 --> 01:45:47.720
Yes, so I'm looking out, all right.

1646
01:45:48.120 --> 01:45:50.200
And hey, if you want to relocate,

1647
01:45:51.300 --> 01:45:53.720
I'll take you around DFW, all right.

1648
01:45:53.720 --> 01:45:55.360
I'm still learning the area myself.

1649
01:45:56.180 --> 01:45:57.980
We got a lot of great girls here.

1650
01:45:59.520 --> 01:46:02.620
Or, you know, maybe I can find a guy in the DFW area

1651
01:46:02.620 --> 01:46:03.940
that's open to relocating.

1652
01:46:04.060 --> 01:46:04.680
Who knows?

1653
01:46:05.240 --> 01:46:05.780
Who knows?

1654
01:46:06.280 --> 01:46:09.260
So let's be praying about that as well.

1655
01:46:09.740 --> 01:46:11.860
But ladies, thank you for your time today.

1656
01:46:12.240 --> 01:46:13.880
I apologize I couldn't get to everybody.

1657
01:46:14.920 --> 01:46:15.880
Appreciate your patience.

1658
01:46:16.240 --> 01:46:19.900
I really hope you got something today

1659
01:46:19.900 --> 01:46:21.940
that Holy Spirit spoke to you.

1660
01:46:21.940 --> 01:46:26.300
That, you know, you feel refreshed, rejuvenated,

1661
01:46:28.140 --> 01:46:30.960
ready to tackle this dating thing.

1662
01:46:31.820 --> 01:46:34.100
And we don't actually, we're not even gonna tackle it.

1663
01:46:34.140 --> 01:46:35.540
You don't even have to work at it.

1664
01:46:35.540 --> 01:46:36.940
There's no fighting, right?

1665
01:46:37.500 --> 01:46:41.900
We're just gonna sit in the inheritance of it, all right.

1666
01:46:41.900 --> 01:46:43.860
But I definitely want updates from lots of you.

1667
01:46:44.220 --> 01:46:45.160
Okay, Liz, I see your hand.

1668
01:46:45.240 --> 01:46:46.980
So I want an update from you as well in the app.

1669
01:46:46.980 --> 01:46:51.520
So I've got Leah, Liz, Kim, Alicia.

1670
01:46:52.760 --> 01:46:53.540
I got Kim Bailey.

1671
01:46:53.820 --> 01:46:55.180
I don't think you were on last week.

1672
01:46:55.220 --> 01:46:56.900
So I want an update from you as well.

1673
01:46:57.300 --> 01:46:59.580
Nadine, thanks for helping me out with the muting.

1674
01:47:00.160 --> 01:47:02.860
I don't know if I've seen anything posted from you.

1675
01:47:03.280 --> 01:47:04.360
So if you could come in

1676
01:47:04.360 --> 01:47:05.640
and let us know what's going on with you.

1677
01:47:06.780 --> 01:47:08.880
Kelly, I haven't heard from you in a while too.

1678
01:47:08.940 --> 01:47:10.340
I've seen you the last couple of times.

1679
01:47:10.700 --> 01:47:12.080
Would love an update on you.

1680
01:47:12.560 --> 01:47:16.060
Ashley, I think I have something sitting in the queue

1681
01:47:16.060 --> 01:47:19.520
to check on with you as well.

1682
01:47:20.700 --> 01:47:24.120
I believe, I think I saw it earlier today

1683
01:47:24.120 --> 01:47:25.560
and I hadn't gotten to it.

1684
01:47:26.060 --> 01:47:29.320
And yes, Liz, we are definitely praying.

1685
01:47:29.580 --> 01:47:31.000
So definitely put that up.

1686
01:47:31.240 --> 01:47:34.100
If you could be more specific of like details, prayers

1687
01:47:34.100 --> 01:47:35.840
of what you need, we got you.

1688
01:47:36.320 --> 01:47:37.240
We got you covered.

1689
01:47:38.160 --> 01:47:41.980
And if you can't give us details, we know God knows.

1690
01:47:42.780 --> 01:47:44.600
So we got you.

1691
01:47:44.600 --> 01:47:45.880
All right, ladies.

1692
01:47:46.520 --> 01:47:48.080
Thank you so much.

1693
01:47:48.400 --> 01:47:50.100
I will see you all next week.

1694
01:47:50.220 --> 01:47:52.220
If I can jump on tonight's call, I will try.

1695
01:47:52.580 --> 01:47:53.440
Cannot make any promises,

1696
01:47:54.080 --> 01:47:55.860
but Ebony is definitely gonna be there.

1697
01:47:56.020 --> 01:47:59.100
She's a riot y'all that have been able to meet her.

1698
01:47:59.640 --> 01:48:00.620
She is the best.

1699
01:48:01.180 --> 01:48:04.000
Yes, the age question, throw that up in the app

1700
01:48:04.000 --> 01:48:05.840
if I didn't get to it,

1701
01:48:06.460 --> 01:48:10.760
or you have the age question I might've answered on here.

1702
01:48:11.120 --> 01:48:13.300
Put it in the app so I see it again.

1703
01:48:14.200 --> 01:48:14.640
Cool.

1704
01:48:15.560 --> 01:48:16.720
Thank you so much, Ashley.

1705
01:48:17.500 --> 01:48:18.120
Appreciate you ladies.

1706
01:48:18.320 --> 01:48:20.000
Have a great rest of your day.

1707
01:48:20.860 --> 01:48:21.840
Thank you, Carla.

1708
01:48:22.420 --> 01:48:23.680
Have a great rest of your week, ladies.