WEBVTT

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There we go.

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And welcome you all to, it is 11-11, 2025.

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It's your Tuesday heart check-in, it's the one o'clock Eastern call.

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I'm Carla Johnson, I'm one of your coaches here at Last Year Single.

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I am a success story.

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I've been with Jackie since the very beginning in 2020 when she launched.

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And I am now, I've been married a little over two years.

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In fact, what's crazy about today, ladies, is this day,

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three years ago exactly, is when my husband reached out to me on my DMs, okay?

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And a week prior to that is when I had a conversation with Jackie,

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and I was like, all right, that's it.

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I'm throwing in the towel, I just, I'm done, all right?

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Now, I had been done for a hot minute and

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just was avoiding the conversation with Jackie.

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But she encouraged me, she talked me off the ledge,

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which she's done that many times.

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And she just, she spoke a great word and she allowed me to borrow her faith.

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And if you were on Supernatural Saturday Call This Saturday,

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you might have heard a little bit of that.

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The same word she released on Saturday is very similar to what she shared with me

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three years ago.

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So I want that to encourage you, get a hold of that, full circle.

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So just be encouraged with that.

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So yeah, three years ago today, my husband reached out to me.

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And so if you haven't listened to Supernatural Saturday, please do.

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I don't know about you all, but today, how's everybody feeling today?

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Throw it in the chat if you wanna unmute.

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I got some thumbs up, Sam's kind of shaking her head, okay.

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How's everybody feeling?

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I'll be honest, I'm exhausted, y'all.

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I have, I really feel that the similar,

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like that similar feeling of just distraction,

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exhaustion is wanting to creep in.

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And I sat with that a little bit today before jumping on this call.

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And I'm like, of course, this is the fourth quarter, all right.

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Those of you that listen to Supernatural Saturday know exactly what I'm talking

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about.

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We're, it's fourth quarter breakthrough, all right.

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Jackie released that word to me almost three years ago.

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And when she told me about it, I thought she was nuts.

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She told me I didn't have the year that I wanted, but

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I got the year that I needed.

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That it was 2022, I thought that was gonna be the year that I was gonna get married,

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y'all, cuz that's kind of what we spoke over our movement.

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2022 is the year of the bride, Genesis 2.22.

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When a man finds a wife, he finds favor with the Lord.

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No, that's, no wait, that's Proverbs 18.22.

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Genesis 2.22 is like, why, like it's right there.

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It was in my wedding vows, like it was.

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Hey, Gail, can you do me a favor and mute?

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Cuz I'm having a hard time hearing Carla.

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And I can do that now, too.

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Thank you, thank you, Gail.

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Sorry, I didn't even catch that.

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And I know how to do it now, too, cuz someone showed me how to do that last week.

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And now I know.

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Yeah, like I was saying, so Genesis 2.22 is like, when God creates Eve,

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and Adam is like, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, like this is my woman, you know?

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And so 2022 was supposed to be that year, and I claimed it.

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I was like, I'm getting married this year.

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Y'all, it was November.

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I had no potentials.

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I was exhausted.

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I was tired.

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I was distracted.

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I didn't feel like I was, you know, succeeding as a single mom.

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And the dating scene, I was like, I clearly don't know what I'm doing.

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And Jackie said, you know, you didn't get the year you wanted,

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but you got the year that you needed.

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And she told me, she goes, Carla, I, I think you're still going to be able to

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meet your spirit mate by the end of the year, y'all it's November.

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It was November 4th when I talked to her and it's November 11th today.

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So I'm sitting there thinking like, it's the holidays.

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What do you mean?

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I'm going to meet my spirit mate.

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This is the holiday season.

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I am a single mom.

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I'm exhausted.

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I'm tired.

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I'm failing.

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I'm discouraged.

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I'm given up.

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There's no way this is going to happen.

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She's like, no, borrow my faith, borrow my faith.

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Like, you know, and she, she inevitably released that fourth quarter breakthrough.

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Word.

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So when she shared that this weekend, I'm like, Oh my goodness.

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This is literally like three years to the date.

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And I'm like, Oh man, this is so good.

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Y'all.

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And so I'm sitting with that today.

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And I'm like, well, no wonder I'm feeling exhausted, drained and tired.

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This is because it's that end of the year.

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And that's that.

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We're about to have some breakthrough because that

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breakthrough can still happen.

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We all want to sit here and focus on what, Oh, you know what the year's done.

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Let's just go ahead and focus on what's going to happen next year.

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Y'all the year's not over yet.

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It's not over yet.

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And so I just want you, if you haven't listened to that supernatural

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Saturday, definitely do it, listen to it, be encouraged.

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Um, get your fourth quarter breakthrough, get your full circles.

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The siege is over.

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We're we're not done yet.

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Like the, there's still some great things that's going to happen.

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And if it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone.

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Okay.

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So again, like Jackie said, regardless, if this is about your

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spirit mate, if this is about a job, is this about your finances?

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Is this about your location?

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Is this about, you know, relationships with, you know, your children,

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your family, whatever it is, like there's still time to the, to this year.

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Okay.

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So, like I said, I, I've been feeling very exhausted and tired.

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So I really want to pray into that this, this, um, afternoon before we get started.

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And then I will take questions from you ladies.

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I know Gail is going to, um, she's going to share.

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So Gail, if you can go ahead and throw your avatar hand up, I

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am going to let you go to first.

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I've got Leah and then McKenzie and then anybody else that

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wants to dive in with a question.

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Please feel free to go ahead and put your avatar hand up.

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So I get an idea of how many I've got.

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Um, Kelly, I didn't, I did want to mention, I, I saw you make a post a few days ago.

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I am going to go back to it.

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Like I said, the end, like I have been so distracted and exhausted.

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And that's why I'm like, okay, we're going to pray into that today

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because something is supposed to happen.

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And I'm not going to let that, that exhaustion get to me.

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So Kelly, I see you and I am going to get to your post and

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anybody else has made a post.

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Um, I will get to that as well as Ebony as well.

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Okay.

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So, um, yeah, let's go ahead and pray.

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And then I got five hands up and we'll get started.

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Sound good.

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All right.

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Heavenly father.

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I just thank you.

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I thank you for the reminder that you are our rest, that we can come to you.

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Anytime that we are just feeling exhausted, defeated, that we can

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find in you and we get, you are our source.

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And so anytime that we are feeling that Lord, we know that, you know, it's,

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it's not what your desire is for us to operate in that we just need more of you.

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And so I appreciate, and I thank you for the opportunity for us to recognize

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when we're feeling and experiencing that so that we can get aligned and centered

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with you and sort of, so Lord, I just ask that you just take this time to get,

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um, with, with all of us today and just help us get back into alignment with

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where you want us, where you want us focused, rejuvenate us.

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fill us with your strength, give us supernatural energy Lord. We need you.

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Remind us that you are our source and that you've got good things for your

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daughters. So Lord I just I give this time to you. I ask that you know just

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speak to these women's hearts, open their hearts to any vulnerability, let them

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know that this is their safe place, that anything that they're experiencing

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whether it is a dating situation, whether they're not dating, whether it's a

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heartwork thing, whether it's something that's going on with their family,

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whether it's something that they just want to celebrate and they want to

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praise you for, that this is the space that they know they can come to and they

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can have that here in community. Lord I want you to wrap your arms around them. I

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want you to just embrace them. I want you to remind them that they have a

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community that is here to support them and love them and just pray for them

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that we're here for the good, the bad, the ugly, the excitement, the celebrations,

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the successes, the disappointments. We're here for it all and we couldn't do any

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of this without you God and so I just thank you. I thank you for all the gifts

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and the wisdoms that you bring to each and every one of us here today and in

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this community, not just with the leaders but every single member of this

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community has something to offer God and I just thank you for that blessing and

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so today I just ask that you just bless our time together and just be with us

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and yeah let's just let's let's leave here refreshed, rejuvenated, and feeling

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better than we came in. In Jesus name, amen.

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All right, got any more ladies on? Did anybody jump in? Okay I've got five names

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on. All right Gail, I'm gonna I'm gonna leave it to you. So Gail was telling me a

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little bit before I hit record and before a lot of you ladies were on, she

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is brand new to Phase 2. We're excited to have her here. Is there anybody else

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that is brand new to Phase 2? This is your first time to Phase 2 first week.

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Maybe this is your first live call. Hi. Jennifer, good to see you. You are

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brand new. We're so glad to have you here. Thank you. Just trying to figure it all

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out so I'm just here to listen. Yeah, you can listen. If you have questions put them

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in the chat. If you have a question throw your avatar hand up. Let me know.

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I'm here to answer any and all questions. Again, I will just repeat ladies, I'm here

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for all the questions. All the questions about the program. All the questions

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about you know what is Phase 2 like. All the questions about heart work. All the

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questions about I mean anything and everything. All right, I've been through

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it. Okay, I've been with the program for now five years. Okay, I came in as a

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married and I've been a coach now for last year single for two years now. So

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yeah, I've been through it. So and if I don't know something I know how to find

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the answer or I know who to go to to find the answer. So if I can't answer you

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I'll get the answer. I might need you to remind me that you had the question that

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I didn't answer and I'll encourage you to post it in the app. So for any of you

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ladies that are on here that haven't posted in the app I'm going to encourage

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you to make sure that you're in the app and using the app. Okay, if you're here

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you've probably have been in the app because it's probably the only way that

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you would know how to get here. So I know you know how to get there. If you don't

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know how to post I can go over those questions still. So yeah, any and all

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question like there is no question that is silly. I've probably asked those in my

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single when I was single in this this community. So we're just here to support

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you support you. We're here to be your biggest cheerleaders. I will also be your

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big sister. I will tell you the things that not just what you maybe want to

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hear. I'll sometimes tell you the things that maybe you don't want to hear but

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need to hear and I will say it with as like loving grace and no judgment

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whatsoever and a lot of times when I say it it's because

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I've been there. I'm not going to call something out that I probably haven't been called out myself.

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Okay, so just know like we're here to support you. We're here to lift you up. We're here to

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do whatever it is that we can to make you feel seen, loved, heard, known, supported,

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encouraged, all of it. Okay, all right. Gail, so she jumped on. She's now been in Facebook

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dating for about a week and she's like, okay, I got like 15 likes and now I've got 27 to 30

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conversations going and I am overwhelmed. This is like I'm working it like a job.

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And I imagine you're exhausted because I was there too. So Gail, we're going to, I'm going

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to let you just share any more, anything else that you feel like you want to share with me

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and I'm going to give you some feedback and we're going to, we're going to talk this through.

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I can give you some boundaries, like what's going to work for you, what doesn't work for you,

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what you're experiencing and we'll navigate this together. Okay. And I'm sure many women on this

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call or many women that are going to hear this in replay probably relate to it or at some point

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will relate to it. Okay. So what else, is there anything else that you want to share about that?

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Yeah, I, for these ladies, I went on to Facebook dating and for the first time last Wednesday and

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I started getting up to nine to 15 likes that I was weeding through. And there were some that

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were very obvious. And even after we matched, the first comment was obvious. But I have

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accumulated like 27 matches that I'm trying to sort out. And so there, the red, there's no red

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flags that I see yet, but it's exhausting and I don't know how to weed through them. And so my

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question is on this particular site, they don't have a, will you relocate preference? Because

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many of them are a couple hundred miles, 250 miles away. A lot of them, the Canada ones,

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I started just deleting. I'm not interested. I mean, but I could have asked them, would you

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come to the US? I'm just like, and I watched all, I went, I zipped through all of the videos on

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accelerator just because I felt like maybe I'm going to grab some ideas here. But I ended up

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getting so, I honestly got so much like they weren't reading. I did state I was a Christian

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in my profile. And I think that Renee was saying, maybe you shouldn't drop, but

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on Facebook, there's all kinds of stuff. So I did put, I was a Christian. And then I started

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sexual hits. Like I need you just horrible things. And so I ended up putting on my profile,

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like halfway through, um, like maybe Saturday or Sunday I put in parentheses,

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I do not believe in sex before marriage. I thought that's going to drive them away.

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And I, and, and honestly, it's almost like it's been a challenge. Now I'm getting at worse.

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Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, I think I don't, I mean, how many of you ladies can, um,

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relate to what Gail is experiencing?

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Yes. Okay. 100%. So Gail, just understand that what your experience is not abnormal.

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I wish I could tell you, um, there's a magical way to get rid of it. Unfortunately,

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there isn't, but there is a way to kind of weed it out. And also for us to kind of make sure that

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we're checking our heart and guarding our heart and recognizing if, if something is coming up and

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how we're responding to it, your bird is so cute. Um, if we're responding to it in a certain way,

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that we're going to make sure that we're healing our heart and guarding our heart

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and taking care of ourselves. Okay. So, um, few things, um, do you give yourself,

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you set yourself time limits when you're on the app?

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No. Okay. I'm going to encourage.

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you to start giving yourself time limits. That will help you to not feel overwhelmed.

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Like it's almost like what something that I have to do is I'm a planner and I'm a planner.

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There's really no way around it. I'm a planner but I can sometimes put too much on my plate.

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So sometimes what I have to do is I just have to go in my calendar and say,

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this is what I'm going to do at this time. And when it's this time and this time,

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this is what I'm doing. And after that time is done, I have to remove it. And I cannot look at

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it until the next time it's on my calendar. Otherwise, I will get so distracted and

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to keep going through it. So I can get lost for hours if I'm just sitting there scrolling.

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So if you have to set, ladies, if you have to set a timer or you have to tell a friend like,

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I need you to call me at five o'clock every Tuesday afternoon so that I stop

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scrolling and swiping, then that's what you do. Whatever works for you,

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figure out what is going to work for you to balance and manage your time.

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Okay. So for me, it would be like putting it on my calendar, setting a timer and being like,

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okay, I'm only giving myself one hour, three days a week. And that's when I'm swiping.

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And now one day I might say, okay, Monday, I'm swiping. Wednesday, I'm replying to messages.

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Friday is when I'm having conversation. So that will help tremendously. Two is if when,

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if you ladies are getting overloaded with so many likes and so many conversations,

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I want you to give yourself permission to stop, read through, spend a minute

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and ask the Lord, do I swipe? Do I not swipe? Do I like, do I not like,

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do I engage in conversation? Do I not engage in conversation?

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If you, if in your spirit, it's like, yeah, no, I don't, I don't like that. No,

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I don't know if I want that. It's okay to say no. If you are being bombarded. Okay. Now you ladies

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that are like, I'm not getting any likes, I'm not getting any dates, but you're literally swiping.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And you're not giving anybody a chance.

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Then I wouldn't be giving this advice. Okay. So I, again, when, when myself or Ebony or any of

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the coaches here at last year, signal signal single are giving feedback and wisdom and, um,

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advice know that we are coaching to a group and we're always going to be coaching with balance

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here. Okay. So, um, if you are someone that you're like, I literally have 50 conversations

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going on. Okay. We're going to tell you to take some of those off your plate.

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We don't want you feeling overwhelmed. All right. Now, if you're like,

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constantly, like no one's like me, well then, okay. You might, I'm, I'm exiting this guy,

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this guy, this guy, and you're literally just given no grace to guys. That's the other extreme.

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Okay. I'm going to ask you questions based on where you're at. So I'm going to figure out

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where on the scale are you, and we're going to coach you from there. Okay. So Gail's in the

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situation. She's got 30 conversations going. Now she's being inundated with men, having sexual,

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nasty comments. I like y'all. I like, I wish there was a way to weed those guys out. I really

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do. And I know how absolutely discouraging and annoying and frustrating and disgusting it is when

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men behave that way. And it's, it's not right. It's not okay. My best encouragement to all of

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you ladies is do not engage less than, which doesn't necessarily mean you have to tell them

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that you're blessing them and you block them.

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You X them, you block them from even seeing you.

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You don't even have to tell them you are blocking them.

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They crossed a boundary, you shut it down.

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And you don't even have to defend yourself,

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explain yourself, none of that.

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If men are crossing a sexual boundary

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and being completely inappropriate,

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you don't have to tolerate it.

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So if any of you ladies ever feel like,

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well, I'm supposed to be kind,

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and I'm supposed to be this,

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no, we're gonna have a conversation about that.

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So if any of you ladies ever feel that way,

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that's a hard thing, and we'll get to that.

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And we wanna figure out where that root is,

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and we wanna help you with that.

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Because that's, no, I don't tolerate

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that kind of stuff at all.

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And I don't ever want you ladies to feel like

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you have to subject yourself to something

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because it's not feminine.

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Does that make sense?

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Or, because I know that can sometimes be the stigma.

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So we can always have conversations about that.

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So no, if you're ever experiencing it,

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we're here to talk through that.

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So you were sharing about,

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you have Christian on your thing,

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and then, but you were saying

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that you were listening to Renee's,

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were you listening to the online dating video?

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Yeah, okay.

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So that, okay, one thing that I am gonna share,

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so Gail, you said that you just came into phase two,

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correct?

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I'm gonna, this is the first week.

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I'm gonna tell you to pump the brakes a little bit, okay?

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And here's why.

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We want you to do one video a week.

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So we have Love Story Accelerator,

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we have Dating 101, we have Divine Feminine,

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and then we have Online Dating.

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So you're already into that fourth week of video.

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You're in week one.

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You're cool if you just focus on Love Story Accelerator,

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the kickoff video.

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Focus on that one video, press into that one,

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what's the Lord speaking to you about that one,

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and let's start there.

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Okay, that doesn't mean that,

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if you wanna stay on the app, you can,

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and we can put into practice some of the things

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that I'm gonna talk to you about, okay?

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Like, we're gonna put timeframes

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on how often you're on the app, okay?

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We can talk about what you got on your profile,

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and that this goes for all of you ladies.

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If you are talking about, if you're on a profile

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and you don't know what to put on there,

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and you're like, I put this and I'm getting this,

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ladies, screenshot your profile, post it in the app.

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Myself and Ebony will read through it,

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we will give you feedback.

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If you wanna type everything that you think you're gonna,

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like, this is what I'm sharing in my profile,

349
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is there anything that I need to add?

350
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Is there anything that I need to remove?

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What's your take on this?

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00:28:27.740 --> 00:28:29.140
Like, if you were to read this,

353
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like, how would you perceive it?

354
00:28:31.300 --> 00:28:34.980
As a coach, like, what do you think I need to do?

355
00:28:35.220 --> 00:28:36.620
We will give you that feedback,

356
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and we can coach you from there.

357
00:28:41.020 --> 00:28:44.160
So again, understand that when you all are watching

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that training content, we are speaking to a whole group,

359
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and it's all about balance, okay?

360
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So yes, we're gonna express,

361
00:28:56.320 --> 00:28:59.420
you may not want to come out full throttle,

362
00:28:59.580 --> 00:29:02.960
like, I'm a lover of Jesus, Christian this,

363
00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:05.440
no sex before marriage, da-da-da.

364
00:29:05.960 --> 00:29:09.420
Like, some people are gonna be like, whoa, okay?

365
00:29:13.740 --> 00:29:16.580
But there's a balance to it,

366
00:29:16.600 --> 00:29:18.860
because I also am one of those people that I'm like,

367
00:29:19.560 --> 00:29:22.160
but I'm not ashamed to let people know that I'm a Christian.

368
00:29:22.900 --> 00:29:27.160
So I'm gonna put on there, faith is important to me.

369
00:29:27.960 --> 00:29:29.340
Okay, I'm not gonna go in

370
00:29:29.340 --> 00:29:31.700
and start doing this missionary dating

371
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and start preaching to these men

372
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that I have no idea who they are.

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00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:40.660
That's not my place, okay?

374
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:43.580
I'm dating, I'm not, like, if God's calling me

375
00:29:43.580 --> 00:29:46.060
to the missions, he's not gonna be calling me

376
00:29:46.180 --> 00:29:49.160
to mission men in a dating app, okay?

377
00:29:49.780 --> 00:29:51.880
That's not what he's doing, okay?

378
00:29:52.600 --> 00:29:55.340
So I can just literally show up as like,

379
00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:57.120
look, I'm here to get to know people

380
00:29:57.880 --> 00:29:59.980
and show up as who I am.

381
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.980
I am, and get to know you better, all right?

382
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.720
I don't know who you are, you're a stranger,

383
00:30:07.040 --> 00:30:08.920
so I'm not gonna give you any more information

384
00:30:08.920 --> 00:30:09.540
than you need.

385
00:30:10.620 --> 00:30:12.380
I'm not gonna give you over information.

386
00:30:13.260 --> 00:30:14.900
I'm not gonna hold it against a guy

387
00:30:14.900 --> 00:30:16.500
if he's giving me too much information,

388
00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:18.020
but I am gonna draw boundaries,

389
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and I am going to redirect.

390
00:30:21.580 --> 00:30:22.820
I'm gonna learn how to do that.

391
00:30:23.180 --> 00:30:25.580
It's okay, ladies, if you don't know how to do that.

392
00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:27.020
We're here to coach you through that.

393
00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:29.700
It's okay to make mistakes.

394
00:30:30.900 --> 00:30:32.320
We're not all about hard rules.

395
00:30:32.580 --> 00:30:34.660
We're here about guardrails, okay?

396
00:30:34.660 --> 00:30:37.540
We're just here to coach you through all of it,

397
00:30:37.580 --> 00:30:40.780
because we understand you all are on your own journey.

398
00:30:41.380 --> 00:30:42.760
Some of you are gonna be over here,

399
00:30:42.940 --> 00:30:43.720
some of you are gonna be here,

400
00:30:43.880 --> 00:30:44.520
some of you are gonna be here,

401
00:30:44.580 --> 00:30:45.220
some of you are gonna be here,

402
00:30:45.280 --> 00:30:46.140
some of you are gonna be here,

403
00:30:46.520 --> 00:30:48.380
some of you may be all the way over here,

404
00:30:48.420 --> 00:30:49.820
or all the way over here.

405
00:30:50.380 --> 00:30:51.640
We totally get it,

406
00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:56.320
and we're gonna meet you where you are at, okay?

407
00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:01.600
So, if you notice, as soon as you put,

408
00:31:01.840 --> 00:31:03.260
I don't believe in sex before marriage,

409
00:31:03.340 --> 00:31:05.000
and now you're just getting all the men,

410
00:31:05.340 --> 00:31:07.640
just take it off, take it off.

411
00:31:08.360 --> 00:31:10.580
And again, if they say something to you

412
00:31:10.580 --> 00:31:13.280
that's inappropriate, don't engage in it,

413
00:31:13.400 --> 00:31:15.100
don't respond to them, block them.

414
00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:18.420
Bless them in your spirit, and block them.

415
00:31:19.460 --> 00:31:22.000
Check your spirit, check your heart,

416
00:31:22.120 --> 00:31:22.840
where is your heart?

417
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:28.120
What thoughts, feelings, emotions are surfacing in you,

418
00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:31.540
and is it an area that God's wanting to highlight to you

419
00:31:31.540 --> 00:31:32.060
to heal?

420
00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:38.280
Okay, I had, in the very beginning,

421
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:40.880
I would get really easily offended

422
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:43.780
at just some of the nasty behavior of men.

423
00:31:44.300 --> 00:31:45.720
I had to work through that,

424
00:31:46.320 --> 00:31:51.540
to the point that it was more of what the beliefs I had

425
00:31:51.540 --> 00:31:55.780
about myself, that when they would say that,

426
00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:59.320
it would make me think how I would think about myself.

427
00:32:00.320 --> 00:32:03.060
And so, I had to get to the root of that,

428
00:32:03.260 --> 00:32:06.180
and work on my identity in Christ.

429
00:32:07.560 --> 00:32:10.120
And once I got healing through that,

430
00:32:11.460 --> 00:32:15.740
when those things happened, they didn't face me anymore.

431
00:32:18.320 --> 00:32:20.560
I would just click and move on.

432
00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:23.300
And it wouldn't even bother me anymore.

433
00:32:25.100 --> 00:32:30.120
And that's when I was like, whoa, God is changing my heart.

434
00:32:31.420 --> 00:32:34.440
So, I want you ladies to feel encouraged with that,

435
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:37.000
and I also want you to know,

436
00:32:37.600 --> 00:32:40.160
it's okay if you're struggling with that too.

437
00:32:40.800 --> 00:32:42.420
We're here to help you.

438
00:32:43.780 --> 00:32:45.980
So, maybe take that off.

439
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:47.940
You can put that you're a Christian,

440
00:32:48.180 --> 00:32:50.040
you can put all of those things,

441
00:32:50.040 --> 00:32:52.140
and again, post your profile,

442
00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:54.540
we'll give you feedback on that.

443
00:32:55.800 --> 00:32:58.940
You get to also decide who you talk to and who you don't.

444
00:33:00.080 --> 00:33:01.980
You don't have to talk to every single person

445
00:33:01.980 --> 00:33:03.440
that strikes up a conversation with you.

446
00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:07.240
You can put parameters on things that you're willing.

447
00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:11.360
If they don't live within a certain radius,

448
00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:14.860
like so many miles,

449
00:33:15.660 --> 00:33:19.000
you don't have to engage.

450
00:33:21.260 --> 00:33:22.800
It's okay to be like,

451
00:33:22.800 --> 00:33:26.180
I don't think I'm ready to have conversations with that.

452
00:33:26.360 --> 00:33:28.940
Now, if you kind of get a check in your spirit,

453
00:33:29.680 --> 00:33:33.260
like, hmm, am I passing up on somebody, whatever,

454
00:33:33.400 --> 00:33:35.140
we're gonna either ask you,

455
00:33:35.620 --> 00:33:38.320
is that a scarcity mindset that we need to address,

456
00:33:38.700 --> 00:33:40.360
that you feel like you're gonna miss out

457
00:33:40.360 --> 00:33:41.180
on your spirit mate?

458
00:33:42.220 --> 00:33:44.100
Is it a guilt thing that you're feeling,

459
00:33:44.100 --> 00:33:46.460
like I'm not giving anybody any chances?

460
00:33:46.840 --> 00:33:49.600
Am I giving too many people too many chances?

461
00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:51.260
We're gonna get to the root

462
00:33:51.260 --> 00:33:53.220
of what it is that you're experiencing.

463
00:33:53.660 --> 00:33:55.520
Does that make sense?

464
00:33:56.180 --> 00:34:00.900
Yeah, I should say that my daughter met her husband online.

465
00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:06.780
We live in New York and her husband was from Louisiana

466
00:34:06.780 --> 00:34:07.980
and he relocated.

467
00:34:08.600 --> 00:34:11.580
And then when I went to a divorce care group,

468
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:14.040
the couple that were leading it,

469
00:34:14.500 --> 00:34:16.800
actually, that's how I found out about,

470
00:34:16.860 --> 00:34:18.159
oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.

471
00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:22.159
Anyways, the couple had been married by Jackie

472
00:34:22.860 --> 00:34:26.780
and she lives in New York and he lives in Texas.

473
00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:30.020
So I'm seeing actually the dating realm,

474
00:34:30.100 --> 00:34:34.880
I'm seeing two solid, wonderful Christian marriages

475
00:34:35.860 --> 00:34:38.560
from people far, far away.

476
00:34:38.780 --> 00:34:39.900
So that's my-

477
00:34:39.900 --> 00:34:39.900


478
00:34:41.139 --> 00:34:41.900
I live in Texas.

479
00:34:41.900 --> 00:34:43.260
No, I was living in Florida

480
00:34:43.260 --> 00:34:44.719
and I was one of the little girls who was like,

481
00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:45.940
I'm not relocating.

482
00:34:46.540 --> 00:34:48.219
She's gonna have to move here.

483
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:49.540
I live in paradise.

484
00:34:50.860 --> 00:34:54.719
God was like, okay, we'll see how that works for you.

485
00:34:54.980 --> 00:34:58.000
I stayed single for a minute, a couple of years.

486
00:34:58.700 --> 00:34:59.980
And finally I was like, all right.

487
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.020
Lord, you're going to have to just, whatever.

488
00:35:02.980 --> 00:35:07.300
God's like, okay, you're finally ready to let go of the pen.

489
00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:11.780
Now I can like, now do you want to see me?

490
00:35:11.780 --> 00:35:13.220
You want to, you want to meet your husband?

491
00:35:13.940 --> 00:35:15.760
And so, yes.

492
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:17.060
So the relocation can happen.

493
00:35:17.580 --> 00:35:22.760
So here's my advice with that, if you are willing to relocate or you're

494
00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:26.200
willing to date long distance and would like, are you willing to date

495
00:35:26.200 --> 00:35:28.080
long distance and have them relocate?

496
00:35:28.740 --> 00:35:30.440
Are you willing to relocate?

497
00:35:31.460 --> 00:35:32.000
Okay.

498
00:35:32.200 --> 00:35:35.240
So this is how you do this in your profile.

499
00:35:35.240 --> 00:35:37.560
You can say I'm open to long distance.

500
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:44.480
I am not unable to relocate, but I'm open to long distance.

501
00:35:44.560 --> 00:35:46.600
If someone is willing to relocate themselves.

502
00:35:47.780 --> 00:35:51.600
Can I ask you why you're not willing to relocate?

503
00:35:51.680 --> 00:35:55.660
Do you feel like that is a like non-negotiable from heaven?

504
00:35:55.660 --> 00:35:57.980
Like God has told you like, nope, you're here.

505
00:35:58.020 --> 00:35:59.120
You're staying here.

506
00:35:59.480 --> 00:36:00.900
You're not leaving.

507
00:36:01.520 --> 00:36:03.940
Or can this be something you hold loosely?

508
00:36:06.860 --> 00:36:13.020
Um, I have three of my four children within 15 minutes of me and I have 14

509
00:36:13.020 --> 00:36:21.560
grandchildren and I, I always have said family first, so it, to me, it's very,

510
00:36:21.820 --> 00:36:24.860
very hard to think of moving away from my close knit family.

511
00:36:24.860 --> 00:36:28.500
I guess maybe down, I'm not going to say never.

512
00:36:28.980 --> 00:36:29.020
Okay.

513
00:36:29.080 --> 00:36:29.660
Never say never.

514
00:36:31.800 --> 00:36:35.680
So, um, but it would be very hard for me to leave.

515
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:37.480
And I get that.

516
00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:39.900
Cause I was someone who was like, I'm not, I'm not relocating.

517
00:36:40.300 --> 00:36:43.400
It took me, that took me a minute.

518
00:36:43.540 --> 00:36:43.940
Okay.

519
00:36:44.060 --> 00:36:48.320
And I'm not saying that, you know, anybody that's saying like, no, I won't

520
00:36:48.880 --> 00:36:51.620
means that, Oh, once you release it, then your husband's going to come.

521
00:36:51.640 --> 00:36:53.820
Cause I'm not, that's not what I'm saying again.

522
00:36:53.820 --> 00:36:55.440
Like, don't read into that.

523
00:36:56.780 --> 00:37:01.080
Um, but I like that you're saying, okay, this is, this would be

524
00:37:01.080 --> 00:37:03.240
challenging for me and this is why.

525
00:37:05.260 --> 00:37:09.200
And it, it sounds like you have an open heart and an open mind that

526
00:37:09.200 --> 00:37:11.700
you're willing for God to work on you.

527
00:37:12.140 --> 00:37:14.980
God had to take two years to work on me with that.

528
00:37:16.300 --> 00:37:21.940
And Jackie and God and everyone in this community was very patient with me.

529
00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:25.640
And they understood it.

530
00:37:26.080 --> 00:37:29.660
And so, and like I said, and God was very patient with me and

531
00:37:29.660 --> 00:37:30.860
God's timing was really good.

532
00:37:31.460 --> 00:37:38.180
He knew, he knew what needed to happen and he revealed it very, very clear to me.

533
00:37:38.540 --> 00:37:40.260
Like that's how good he was.

534
00:37:41.500 --> 00:37:46.420
So, um, I would suggest saying, Hey, um, you know, I'm Gail.

535
00:37:46.600 --> 00:37:51.380
I have, you know, I have, you know, four wonderful children, 14

536
00:37:51.380 --> 00:37:53.480
grandchildren, they're dear to my heart.

537
00:37:53.820 --> 00:37:56.080
They all live, you know, very close to me.

538
00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:02.320
Um, I, I can't imagine not living, you know, far from them.

539
00:38:02.320 --> 00:38:08.520
I am open to, to long distance dating, but would prefer if someone would be

540
00:38:08.520 --> 00:38:13.260
willing to relocate as I'm not sure that would be something that would be

541
00:38:13.260 --> 00:38:19.160
something that I would be interested in, but would be willing to get to know

542
00:38:19.160 --> 00:38:24.060
someone I'd be willing to get to know the right person.

543
00:38:24.900 --> 00:38:29.660
If they happen to be long distance, you're being open to that.

544
00:38:30.460 --> 00:38:36.540
Now, when you put that in your profile, ladies, it doesn't always

545
00:38:36.540 --> 00:38:39.000
mean that these men read it.

546
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:40.980
Okay.

547
00:38:41.860 --> 00:38:45.900
And so they might just start striking up a conversation, but this is

548
00:38:45.900 --> 00:38:47.580
where that level one comes in.

549
00:38:47.580 --> 00:38:49.000
And that's from dating one-on-one.

550
00:38:49.100 --> 00:38:50.940
So if you have not gotten to that video, don't worry.

551
00:38:51.680 --> 00:38:54.840
You can get to that in week two, week three or four.

552
00:38:54.840 --> 00:39:00.740
If you need to kind of take your time and you're just getting to

553
00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:05.480
know them surface level questions, you read their profile, you see if

554
00:39:05.480 --> 00:39:10.300
there's any interesting that anything interesting about them that sparks your

555
00:39:11.520 --> 00:39:16.580
interest, is there something about their profile, what they said, what they've

556
00:39:16.720 --> 00:39:26.340
shared, what you see that you want to learn more about, then if you feel led

557
00:39:26.460 --> 00:39:28.680
to continue the conversation, do it.

558
00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:33.640
Understand that all men are great conversationalist.

559
00:39:34.580 --> 00:39:35.000
Okay.

560
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:39.260
Be willing to ask questions, be understanding that they might

561
00:39:39.260 --> 00:39:44.580
not ask a lot of questions, you know, be willing to have some of

562
00:39:44.580 --> 00:39:48.440
the uncomfortable back and forth and just let it flow.

563
00:39:48.720 --> 00:39:52.260
But know that if it's not flowing, you don't have to stay in it.

564
00:39:53.140 --> 00:39:57.340
You could be reciprocating that if they're not reciprocating.

565
00:39:57.520 --> 00:39:57.760
Okay.

566
00:39:57.760 --> 00:39:59.980
Well, you, if you got a couple other conversations.

567
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.140
on the side, you don't have to, right?

568
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:08.040
And then as you're getting a few exchanges,

569
00:40:09.340 --> 00:40:12.360
you can say, oh, I see you live in,

570
00:40:13.040 --> 00:40:14.740
I see you live in Texas.

571
00:40:16.960 --> 00:40:20.680
I've only been to, you know, San Antonio before

572
00:40:20.680 --> 00:40:23.660
and I went back there and this like, whereabouts in Texas?

573
00:40:24.120 --> 00:40:27.200
You know, I live here, have you ever been there before?

574
00:40:27.260 --> 00:40:28.500
Have you ever thought about coming?

575
00:40:28.500 --> 00:40:31.400
You can start striking up some conversation

576
00:40:31.400 --> 00:40:33.880
and then as you guys start talking about location,

577
00:40:35.020 --> 00:40:36.540
then you can share like,

578
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:40.000
then they know where you're at, you know where they're at

579
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:42.560
and then if there's an issue, they can share it

580
00:40:42.560 --> 00:40:46.240
or you can say, hey, I'm not sure if you saw my profile.

581
00:40:46.980 --> 00:40:50.100
I am open to long distance, but I do wanna make it clear

582
00:40:50.100 --> 00:40:54.700
that I'm not sure relocation is in my future

583
00:40:55.240 --> 00:40:57.200
unless it's with the right person

584
00:40:57.200 --> 00:40:59.760
and it would, God would really need to highlight

585
00:40:59.880 --> 00:41:04.760
that that's what his heart is for me.

586
00:41:06.360 --> 00:41:07.200
Does that help?

587
00:41:07.780 --> 00:41:10.060
I'm hoping this is helping not just Gail,

588
00:41:10.140 --> 00:41:12.540
I'm hoping this is helping all of you

589
00:41:12.800 --> 00:41:18.040
because I do know this is something that many, many, many

590
00:41:18.040 --> 00:41:22.520
ladies that jump into phase two, okay, good.

591
00:41:22.820 --> 00:41:25.720
Ashley is saying, ooh, that's helpful, good.

592
00:41:26.700 --> 00:41:30.340
I'm thankful because I know I'm taking a lot of time

593
00:41:30.340 --> 00:41:34.560
on this, but I like being able when we get questions

594
00:41:34.560 --> 00:41:36.840
like this ladies, I like, these to me

595
00:41:36.840 --> 00:41:39.800
are those teachable moments where myself

596
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:41.480
and Ebony get to coach from.

597
00:41:42.680 --> 00:41:44.300
Like we don't, we used to come in here

598
00:41:44.300 --> 00:41:47.520
with like things specifically we were gonna coach on.

599
00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:51.520
Now we kind of let Holy Spirit come in

600
00:41:52.440 --> 00:41:55.200
and drive it by y'all's questions

601
00:41:55.200 --> 00:41:58.340
because we wanna address what are you experiencing

602
00:41:58.340 --> 00:42:02.120
in this moment and so I love these moments

603
00:42:02.680 --> 00:42:06.820
to be able to have these teachable moments.

604
00:42:07.460 --> 00:42:09.540
So I am thankful, this is good.

605
00:42:09.900 --> 00:42:12.500
Okay, Michelle, Mika, I love it, wonderful.

606
00:42:13.040 --> 00:42:16.800
Okay, if we have any more questions about profile stuff,

607
00:42:17.580 --> 00:42:19.540
come next week, post in the app,

608
00:42:19.720 --> 00:42:23.960
we can dive in a little bit more on that as well, okay.

609
00:42:24.760 --> 00:42:28.240
I'm gonna get to Leah, Mackenzie, Mika and Megan.

610
00:42:29.100 --> 00:42:32.040
I see Sam has posted something good here.

611
00:42:33.260 --> 00:42:35.160
The Lord moved me here partly, I believe,

612
00:42:35.340 --> 00:42:37.560
to meet my husband, this is the verse God gave me

613
00:42:37.560 --> 00:42:40.200
when I was praying, fasting about moving here to Texas.

614
00:42:40.440 --> 00:42:45.180
She's a Texas girl, all right, we're both in the DFW area.

615
00:42:46.580 --> 00:42:49.480
So you're not born and raised here in Texas, are you?

616
00:42:49.480 --> 00:42:53.700
Neither am I, so we're transplants,

617
00:42:53.900 --> 00:42:55.680
I guess, is that what they call them, transplants?

618
00:42:56.120 --> 00:42:58.020
I was a transplant in Florida too,

619
00:42:58.300 --> 00:42:59.360
but then I lived there forever

620
00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:01.280
so I could just kind of claim Florida.

621
00:43:02.060 --> 00:43:04.300
I am the people where everyone is born

622
00:43:04.300 --> 00:43:07.700
and I have cut off all your enemies from before you

623
00:43:07.700 --> 00:43:09.700
and I will make you a great name

624
00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:11.680
like that of the great men of the earth.

625
00:43:12.240 --> 00:43:15.180
I will appoint a place for my people, Israel,

626
00:43:15.260 --> 00:43:17.920
and will plant them so that they may live

627
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:21.560
in a place of their own and not be disturbed.

628
00:43:22.040 --> 00:43:25.580
Again, 2 Samuel 7, 9 through 10.

629
00:43:26.120 --> 00:43:29.240
So I love that, just, yeah, be willing to be made willing.

630
00:43:30.360 --> 00:43:31.860
God's not gonna put you somewhere,

631
00:43:31.980 --> 00:43:34.980
he's not gonna plant you and help you with roots.

632
00:43:35.840 --> 00:43:36.800
He really won't.

633
00:43:37.380 --> 00:43:39.240
There might be stretching involved.

634
00:43:39.840 --> 00:43:41.740
I can share from my own experience.

635
00:43:41.820 --> 00:43:44.000
I was really resistant to moving

636
00:43:44.840 --> 00:43:48.500
and even after I moved and even in my season

637
00:43:48.500 --> 00:43:50.960
of being a newlywed and blending a family,

638
00:43:52.220 --> 00:43:57.320
being away from where I called home for many, many years

639
00:43:57.320 --> 00:43:58.520
has not been easy.

640
00:43:59.000 --> 00:44:01.880
But if y'all been in the program for a minute,

641
00:44:02.140 --> 00:44:06.420
y'all know what Jackie says, it doesn't have to be easy,

642
00:44:07.180 --> 00:44:09.300
it just has to be worth it.

643
00:44:09.640 --> 00:44:13.340
And it hasn't been easy, but I do believe it's worth it.

644
00:44:13.900 --> 00:44:16.140
There is a stretching and there's a growing

645
00:44:16.640 --> 00:44:18.840
and there are full circle moments

646
00:44:18.900 --> 00:44:21.300
that I even get to step into.

647
00:44:22.100 --> 00:44:25.880
Like God has been using that word over this community,

648
00:44:25.880 --> 00:44:28.780
even in my life and I'm not single anymore,

649
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:32.500
but that's how this community operates.

650
00:44:32.920 --> 00:44:35.180
You know, we're still in this together.

651
00:44:35.460 --> 00:44:39.900
Like we're about to kick off even a group for all of you

652
00:44:39.900 --> 00:44:41.100
that when y'all get married,

653
00:44:41.780 --> 00:44:43.180
y'all get to stay in this community

654
00:44:43.400 --> 00:44:47.600
and go through the engagement in the marriage process.

655
00:44:48.900 --> 00:44:50.340
We wanna be here to support you

656
00:44:50.340 --> 00:44:52.360
because as someone who's literally been in marriage

657
00:44:52.360 --> 00:44:56.400
for two years now, you're gonna go through some stuff.

658
00:44:57.880 --> 00:44:59.920
And we wanna be here.

659
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.200
for you. You're going to need a community to be there for you.

660
00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:14.160
And so it's important. And yeah, so thank you for sharing that

661
00:45:14.160 --> 00:45:19.160
scripture. I really appreciate it. Yeah, Rachel, it's above

662
00:45:19.160 --> 00:45:26.480
you got it girl. Okay, I think that's it. Okay, Leah, let's

663
00:45:26.480 --> 00:45:29.820
let's hear your update. I know you had some some of your own

664
00:45:29.820 --> 00:45:31.880
little personal assignments. I don't know if you want to update

665
00:45:31.880 --> 00:45:34.500
us with that. If you have a question, what's happening in

666
00:45:34.500 --> 00:45:35.180
your world, Leah?

667
00:45:36.820 --> 00:45:42.880
Okay, so last week, I did ask George that lives in Nevada for

668
00:45:43.940 --> 00:45:49.660
a video video call. And, and he was very open to that he was

669
00:45:49.660 --> 00:45:58.360
even thinking of asking me himself. And we've, we've

670
00:45:59.040 --> 00:46:03.480
but he's kind of in a transition period of his life where he just

671
00:46:03.940 --> 00:46:10.540
re just retired. And he moved to Nevada where he's never lived

672
00:46:10.540 --> 00:46:16.480
before. He just chose that place and is in the process of trying

673
00:46:16.480 --> 00:46:24.140
to buy a home and a fixer upper and wants to have chickens and

674
00:46:24.140 --> 00:46:27.220
all these things and very remote and off the grid.

675
00:46:27.220 --> 00:46:30.660
I remember you saying that he's kind of in like the middle of

676
00:46:30.700 --> 00:46:34.220
Yeah, and he doesn't know if he's gonna like it there. He's

677
00:46:34.460 --> 00:46:38.700
he's thinking that. I mean, he's he's coming up against a lot of

678
00:46:38.700 --> 00:46:42.820
roadblocks with the banks. And he's got the information they

679
00:46:42.820 --> 00:46:47.660
needed. But you know, a lot of the banks don't want to fund

680
00:46:48.040 --> 00:46:57.200
something that's that he wants to buy. So. So I'm not really. I

681
00:46:57.200 --> 00:46:59.700
I'm not into that still. And, you know, we have phone

682
00:46:59.780 --> 00:47:05.340
conversations, but I know he's not settled. And I'm not into

683
00:47:05.340 --> 00:47:11.800
what his lifestyle is. Yeah. But he's a really solid guy. And I

684
00:47:11.800 --> 00:47:12.100
could

685
00:47:12.100 --> 00:47:18.340
get it. It's a yes until it's a no. Like, you're having a

686
00:47:18.580 --> 00:47:23.860
conversation. You're out meeting other people. And right now,

687
00:47:23.860 --> 00:47:26.980
it's okay. You're getting to know other people. Now, if

688
00:47:26.980 --> 00:47:29.560
you're getting to know other people, and someone else is kind

689
00:47:30.120 --> 00:47:34.520
of rising to the top, like, you know, he's starting to rise a

690
00:47:34.520 --> 00:47:37.060
little bit more. And it's like, okay, this, this guy is like,

691
00:47:37.620 --> 00:47:39.860
you're then Yeah, you're gonna eventually probably be like,

692
00:47:40.020 --> 00:47:42.300
okay, this, this guy will probably eventually kind of

693
00:47:42.300 --> 00:47:46.580
trans transition out. But until then, yeah, you're just getting

694
00:47:46.580 --> 00:47:47.440
to know people.

695
00:47:47.940 --> 00:47:53.640
Yeah. And he's also said, Well, I don't know if I'm gonna like

696
00:47:53.640 --> 00:47:57.440
it, you know, by the time he, you know, lives there for a year

697
00:47:57.440 --> 00:48:04.000
or whatever, he's in this cabin, he's freezing to death. And he

698
00:48:04.100 --> 00:48:08.360
says, you know, I may change my mind, or even if you buy

699
00:48:08.360 --> 00:48:11.100
something, you know, it might last for two years, and he might

700
00:48:11.100 --> 00:48:17.580
fix it up and sell it and move on. Yeah. So it's just, you

701
00:48:17.580 --> 00:48:19.140
know, not something that

702
00:48:19.140 --> 00:48:22.040
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And you're and you're still

703
00:48:22.040 --> 00:48:24.760
talking to other people, you've got other people that you're,

704
00:48:24.760 --> 00:48:29.020
you know, chatting with, so don't let those slip, keep keep

705
00:48:29.020 --> 00:48:32.340
doing what you're doing. You know, don't put all your eggs

706
00:48:32.340 --> 00:48:36.580
in this basket. And and when other guys kind of start, like I

707
00:48:36.580 --> 00:48:39.900
said, rise into the occasion, don't feel like you have to put

708
00:48:39.900 --> 00:48:43.360
this guy as a priority, be honest and open with him. You

709
00:48:43.480 --> 00:48:47.200
know, y'all aren't exclusive, y'all aren't sharing deep,

710
00:48:47.440 --> 00:48:49.400
intimate details with each other, at least I hope you're

711
00:48:49.400 --> 00:48:54.360
not. Okay, I trust that you're not. And so yeah, you're just,

712
00:48:55.040 --> 00:48:58.920
you're having conversation. Now, I want you just to be cautious

713
00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:03.740
that you're checking your, your emotional connection, that

714
00:49:03.740 --> 00:49:06.800
you're not getting overly attached. If you're someone that

715
00:49:07.000 --> 00:49:10.020
gets easily attached to someone, I want you to make sure that

716
00:49:10.020 --> 00:49:15.020
you're checking yourself and making sure that you're keeping

717
00:49:15.020 --> 00:49:19.000
track of that you're you're checking in with your heart. And

718
00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:22.100
that you're you're sharing that with us here. So we can walk you

719
00:49:22.340 --> 00:49:27.640
through that. But yeah, just keep keep getting to know, keep

720
00:49:27.640 --> 00:49:31.320
doing what you're doing. I think that's, that's good. I'm glad he

721
00:49:31.320 --> 00:49:35.780
finally had a video call with you. That's important, ladies,

722
00:49:35.960 --> 00:49:40.000
like especially when people are long distance, you need to get

723
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.580
that video chat sooner rather than later. I mean, I'm not here

724
00:49:44.580 --> 00:49:47.900
to scare you ladies. But I'm also not going to lie to you and

725
00:49:47.900 --> 00:49:52.600
say that, you know, we there are men out there that are will

726
00:49:52.600 --> 00:49:57.140
scam. There's women out there that scam men. Believe it or

727
00:49:57.440 --> 00:49:59.840
not. It's not just women getting

728
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.500
taken advantage of by men.

729
00:50:02.620 --> 00:50:05.500
Men get taken advantage of by women as well.

730
00:50:06.500 --> 00:50:09.180
So yeah, just get those calls

731
00:50:09.180 --> 00:50:12.420
so that you actually see that they're a real person.

732
00:50:13.400 --> 00:50:16.860
If you are kind of getting a connection with someone

733
00:50:17.180 --> 00:50:20.400
and you wanna see if it's gonna go somewhere,

734
00:50:20.860 --> 00:50:24.900
like you do need to meet the person live in person

735
00:50:25.140 --> 00:50:27.100
within three to six weeks.

736
00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:29.820
But it sounds like Leah,

737
00:50:29.920 --> 00:50:31.940
if he's got things that he's tied up in,

738
00:50:32.520 --> 00:50:34.640
you're not fully like full throttle.

739
00:50:36.460 --> 00:50:38.800
You're still out getting to know people.

740
00:50:39.340 --> 00:50:42.560
Just like I said, make sure you're checking in with yourself

741
00:50:42.640 --> 00:50:46.680
check your emotional connection, check your heart.

742
00:50:46.940 --> 00:50:51.920
And if you start feeling like there's this tug, this pull,

743
00:50:52.240 --> 00:50:54.780
then we're gonna coach you through that.

744
00:50:55.740 --> 00:50:56.720
Sound good?

745
00:50:57.460 --> 00:50:59.700
Yeah, and so then the other guy, Ethan,

746
00:51:00.100 --> 00:51:04.040
that is local that I met through Meet My Age,

747
00:51:06.080 --> 00:51:08.500
and I just signed up for a three month membership

748
00:51:08.500 --> 00:51:10.920
and it's getting ready to expire sometime,

749
00:51:11.000 --> 00:51:14.320
but you can still chat and for free,

750
00:51:14.600 --> 00:51:16.680
but you can only do one message a day.

751
00:51:16.940 --> 00:51:17.340
Okay.

752
00:51:17.740 --> 00:51:22.700
And so I did ask him for coffee.

753
00:51:22.700 --> 00:51:26.220
I said, we've been talking for a couple months now,

754
00:51:26.480 --> 00:51:28.600
how about we go get a cup of coffee?

755
00:51:29.640 --> 00:51:33.920
And so then he said, oh, that would be lovely,

756
00:51:34.200 --> 00:51:37.800
but I'm kind of tied up with life right now.

757
00:51:40.100 --> 00:51:42.640
And he's always very chatty.

758
00:51:43.140 --> 00:51:49.600
And he says, but I would love to keep chatting on here.

759
00:51:49.600 --> 00:51:53.200
And so then I-

760
00:51:53.200 --> 00:51:54.780
So then-

761
00:51:54.780 --> 00:51:56.060
Okay, Leah, I'm gonna stop you for a minute.

762
00:51:56.360 --> 00:51:57.720
I'm gonna ask you a question.

763
00:51:59.700 --> 00:52:01.900
What are you here for?

764
00:52:03.380 --> 00:52:04.160
For marriage.

765
00:52:05.020 --> 00:52:07.840
Can you have a marriage with someone that's caught up

766
00:52:07.840 --> 00:52:11.020
in life and can't meet you for a cup of coffee?

767
00:52:11.720 --> 00:52:12.160
Right.

768
00:52:12.840 --> 00:52:17.120
And it has time to have conversation

769
00:52:17.120 --> 00:52:18.560
with you for several months,

770
00:52:19.520 --> 00:52:23.600
but locally cannot stop for 30 minutes out of his day

771
00:52:23.600 --> 00:52:25.340
to have a cup of coffee with you.

772
00:52:26.240 --> 00:52:27.640
Is that a marriage?

773
00:52:27.980 --> 00:52:29.280
Is that marriage material?

774
00:52:31.240 --> 00:52:31.540
No.

775
00:52:32.360 --> 00:52:33.140
And it's okay.

776
00:52:33.300 --> 00:52:35.660
That does not mean he's a bad guys, ladies.

777
00:52:36.820 --> 00:52:41.620
It just means she knows what she's worth.

778
00:52:42.620 --> 00:52:47.320
She knows what God's placed in her heart and desires.

779
00:52:48.000 --> 00:52:52.360
And she can say, thank you so much for being a pleasant guy.

780
00:52:52.980 --> 00:52:55.720
It's been lovely getting to know you.

781
00:52:56.860 --> 00:53:00.140
I'm here to build relationship

782
00:53:00.140 --> 00:53:02.280
and get to know someone in real life.

783
00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:05.000
I wish you the best of luck.

784
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:07.160
And that's it.

785
00:53:08.260 --> 00:53:10.800
She doesn't have to feel bad about it.

786
00:53:10.800 --> 00:53:13.660
And she doesn't have to feel rejected about it either.

787
00:53:17.740 --> 00:53:20.800
Does that resonate with any of you ladies?

788
00:53:21.800 --> 00:53:24.400
Leah, how does that make you feel right now?

789
00:53:25.300 --> 00:53:29.240
Yeah, I was trying to decide what to say

790
00:53:29.820 --> 00:53:31.860
because then he gave me a compliment

791
00:53:32.500 --> 00:53:35.420
after that you're a pretty woman.

792
00:53:39.260 --> 00:53:40.740
Because I-

793
00:53:40.740 --> 00:53:42.320
You are, like, of course he needs

794
00:53:42.320 --> 00:53:43.240
to give you that compliment.

795
00:53:44.020 --> 00:53:49.360
I think I said something about that my subscription,

796
00:53:50.060 --> 00:53:51.740
you know, when he said, let's keep it,

797
00:53:52.080 --> 00:53:53.160
you know, let's keep chatting.

798
00:53:53.460 --> 00:53:56.140
And he did come back and say,

799
00:53:56.720 --> 00:53:58.280
I would really like to at another time.

800
00:53:59.760 --> 00:54:00.940
But so who knows?

801
00:54:01.480 --> 00:54:03.740
Well, that's why I say, hey, you know what?

802
00:54:04.780 --> 00:54:05.760
Here's my email.

803
00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:08.840
Here's my Google voice number.

804
00:54:08.980 --> 00:54:10.760
And we haven't really been-

805
00:54:10.760 --> 00:54:13.200
In your mind, this is how you reach me.

806
00:54:13.840 --> 00:54:16.780
We haven't been chatting back and forth a lot.

807
00:54:16.980 --> 00:54:18.500
You know, I haven't been on there,

808
00:54:18.980 --> 00:54:21.680
but maybe once a week for several weeks

809
00:54:21.680 --> 00:54:24.900
because I was chatting more with George

810
00:54:25.220 --> 00:54:29.740
and I just wasn't seeing it going anywhere.

811
00:54:30.040 --> 00:54:33.760
But I did tell him that my subscription was ending.

812
00:54:33.980 --> 00:54:36.480
So I couldn't have like an open chat

813
00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:38.380
only like one message a day.

814
00:54:38.920 --> 00:54:42.000
Yeah, so kind of thinking, well, maybe he would rethink.

815
00:54:42.720 --> 00:54:44.060
And I mean, who knows?

816
00:54:44.120 --> 00:54:47.200
He could be going through something that I don't know.

817
00:54:47.860 --> 00:54:49.640
Exactly, but again, that's why I ask you,

818
00:54:49.820 --> 00:54:51.320
what are you here for?

819
00:54:51.320 --> 00:54:54.240
And that's not me, yeah.

820
00:54:54.460 --> 00:54:55.760
And you're here for marriage.

821
00:54:56.260 --> 00:54:58.820
And if that's not where he's at in his life, that's fine.

822
00:54:58.920 --> 00:54:59.980
He's letting you know that.

823
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.420
that doesn't mean he's a bad guy,

824
00:55:01.640 --> 00:55:06.420
but it also doesn't mean that you have to put your needs

825
00:55:06.420 --> 00:55:10.980
and your desires underneath someone's,

826
00:55:13.140 --> 00:55:17.280
someone else's life and where they're at.

827
00:55:18.560 --> 00:55:22.800
You don't have to sacrifice what your heart desires

828
00:55:23.120 --> 00:55:27.420
for a man that is still a stranger to you.

829
00:55:28.540 --> 00:55:29.220
True.

830
00:55:30.380 --> 00:55:34.000
And so I want you to like press into that.

831
00:55:35.280 --> 00:55:38.660
Like you're here for, ladies, if you're here for marriage,

832
00:55:38.820 --> 00:55:43.860
like I don't want you ladies to feel like you have to

833
00:55:45.280 --> 00:55:49.880
put yourself and your wants and your desires on hold.

834
00:55:50.280 --> 00:55:53.520
Oh, ladies, I feel Holy Spirit on that.

835
00:55:54.360 --> 00:55:59.360
You don't have to put your desires on hold for anyone.

836
00:56:01.480 --> 00:56:04.660
So if you've been someone that you have in your past,

837
00:56:05.260 --> 00:56:08.240
you've not been able to put your desires

838
00:56:08.240 --> 00:56:11.460
before anybody else's, this is for you.

839
00:56:12.120 --> 00:56:14.140
You don't have to do that anymore.

840
00:56:16.300 --> 00:56:19.880
Your desires matter because God put those desires

841
00:56:19.880 --> 00:56:20.980
in your heart.

842
00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:24.300
Those are from your heavenly father.

843
00:56:24.500 --> 00:56:26.100
He put them there for a reason.

844
00:56:28.840 --> 00:56:32.780
You don't have to put yourself second.

845
00:56:35.740 --> 00:56:37.200
I don't know who that's for,

846
00:56:37.400 --> 00:56:39.180
whether it's somebody on this call

847
00:56:39.180 --> 00:56:40.360
or somebody that's in replay.

848
00:56:41.560 --> 00:56:43.720
I want you to take hold of that, ladies,

849
00:56:44.340 --> 00:56:45.400
whoever that's for.

850
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:50.380
Your desire is your desire,

851
00:56:50.640 --> 00:56:53.200
and God wants you to have your desires of your heart.

852
00:56:54.360 --> 00:56:55.820
That's why he brought you here, ladies.

853
00:56:57.140 --> 00:56:59.100
You're here by design, like divine appointment.

854
00:57:01.020 --> 00:57:03.280
You all are here by divine appointment.

855
00:57:03.700 --> 00:57:05.840
I got here by divine appointment.

856
00:57:06.460 --> 00:57:08.060
You all are here by divine appointment.

857
00:57:08.200 --> 00:57:12.260
I'm telling you there is a super natural anointing

858
00:57:12.260 --> 00:57:13.580
in this community.

859
00:57:14.120 --> 00:57:15.380
I've been here for five years.

860
00:57:16.020 --> 00:57:16.720
I've seen it.

861
00:57:16.860 --> 00:57:17.660
I've witnessed it.

862
00:57:20.280 --> 00:57:21.980
I've seen it.

863
00:57:23.220 --> 00:57:24.460
I've felt it.

864
00:57:27.600 --> 00:57:29.720
I can testify to it.

865
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:34.460
Y'all are here because you're supposed to be here.

866
00:57:37.320 --> 00:57:37.720
Okay?

867
00:57:39.720 --> 00:57:41.380
Leah, thank you so much for sharing.

868
00:57:41.900 --> 00:57:42.840
Continue to keep me updated.

869
00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:45.560
Like I said, I know I haven't been in the app

870
00:57:45.560 --> 00:57:48.300
for a couple of days, but I'm gonna be jumping in.

871
00:57:48.460 --> 00:57:51.020
So don't, ladies, keep sharing.

872
00:57:51.380 --> 00:57:53.380
Keep letting me know what's happening, okay?

873
00:57:53.380 --> 00:57:56.780
I'm always, I always am reading what's going on.

874
00:57:57.080 --> 00:57:59.920
Even when I don't, even when it's Ebony responds to you,

875
00:57:59.920 --> 00:58:03.100
I'm still going in and reading what you post,

876
00:58:03.980 --> 00:58:05.340
even if Ebony responded.

877
00:58:05.560 --> 00:58:08.960
I'm reading through every single one of your posts, okay?

878
00:58:09.600 --> 00:58:10.460
All right, Mackenzie.

879
00:58:10.460 --> 00:58:12.860
Mackenzie, Mika, and then Megan, okay?

880
00:58:13.820 --> 00:58:14.860
And then I do see, Michelle,

881
00:58:14.900 --> 00:58:17.480
you've got some questions as well.

882
00:58:18.580 --> 00:58:24.520
I think I saw somewhere about men, where we bring the men.

883
00:58:25.920 --> 00:58:28.580
You will just send them to JackieDorman.com.

884
00:58:29.640 --> 00:58:31.340
There is a button for men there.

885
00:58:31.860 --> 00:58:35.200
If you go in the resource tab on the app,

886
00:58:35.460 --> 00:58:37.580
you also have an affiliate link as well

887
00:58:38.340 --> 00:58:40.100
if you sign up for it.

888
00:58:40.100 --> 00:58:42.000
So if you send anybody this program,

889
00:58:42.200 --> 00:58:44.980
you can get paid for that, okay?

890
00:58:45.140 --> 00:58:46.960
So if you want to know more information,

891
00:58:47.140 --> 00:58:50.020
again, you can post in the app as well.

892
00:58:50.160 --> 00:58:51.200
We can answer it there,

893
00:58:51.360 --> 00:58:53.220
or you can look in the resource tab.

894
00:58:55.360 --> 00:58:57.380
So yeah, and I think, Gail, okay, perfect.

895
00:58:59.520 --> 00:59:01.160
Under last tab, yep, perfect.

896
00:59:01.200 --> 00:59:03.240
It sounds like you ladies are directing

897
00:59:03.240 --> 00:59:05.000
everywhere where they need to go.

898
00:59:06.520 --> 00:59:08.560
Video chats, I do Zoom calls.

899
00:59:09.320 --> 00:59:12.400
Or if you do Facebook dating, ladies,

900
00:59:14.060 --> 00:59:17.320
you can, Facebook Messenger, you can video call.

901
00:59:18.400 --> 00:59:19.740
So that's always an option.

902
00:59:20.140 --> 00:59:22.340
And you don't have to be friends with the person

903
00:59:22.340 --> 00:59:24.680
in order to video call them, just so you know.

904
00:59:25.060 --> 00:59:27.820
I don't encourage y'all to friend request

905
00:59:27.820 --> 00:59:30.220
or accept friend requests of people you don't know.

906
00:59:31.300 --> 00:59:33.280
Even if you've been chatting for like a week or two,

907
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:35.640
you don't know them, okay?

908
00:59:35.640 --> 00:59:37.080
They don't need to, they don't,

909
00:59:37.080 --> 00:59:39.140
especially if you're someone that you're like posting,

910
00:59:39.580 --> 00:59:41.020
like, where are you hanging out?

911
00:59:41.180 --> 00:59:42.480
Posting pictures of you and your friends

912
00:59:42.480 --> 00:59:43.860
or your kids and things like that.

913
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:45.860
Like, they don't need to know your business.

914
00:59:45.980 --> 00:59:46.980
They're strangers, okay?

915
00:59:47.140 --> 00:59:48.480
That's for your protection.

916
00:59:50.220 --> 00:59:52.020
Yeah, so-

917
00:59:52.020 --> 00:59:52.520
My high school prom photos.

918
00:59:53.100 --> 00:59:53.840
What's that?

919
00:59:54.360 --> 00:59:56.360
My high school prom photos are on there.

920
00:59:56.820 --> 00:59:59.980
Yeah, like, and I was a single mom, so.

921
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.620
I mean, and I had family all over.

922
01:00:01.860 --> 01:00:03.380
So I was posting pictures of my kids.

923
01:00:04.180 --> 01:00:12.380
So my, my profile is like on lock, like what's private is what's public is.

924
01:00:12.560 --> 01:00:13.400
I know it's public.

925
01:00:14.800 --> 01:00:16.140
What's not public.

926
01:00:16.160 --> 01:00:17.620
I know it's not public.

927
01:00:17.740 --> 01:00:21.720
Like I'm not posting all the pictures of my kids out there, my kid out there.

928
01:00:22.740 --> 01:00:29.260
And so I was very like, y'all don't need to know who my kid is, what sport he

929
01:00:29.260 --> 01:00:38.220
plays, where his tournament is, um, what school he goes to, what event we're at,

930
01:00:38.340 --> 01:00:45.640
what vacation we're on now, my close friends and my family, that's fine.

931
01:00:45.860 --> 01:00:47.780
I mean, and I filter it out too.

932
01:00:47.780 --> 01:00:51.140
Like I have filters, I have people in groups.

933
01:00:51.200 --> 01:00:54.820
So when you post things, you literally can post things.

934
01:00:55.020 --> 01:00:58.960
So only certain people in certain groups see that post.

935
01:00:59.780 --> 01:01:01.500
So I'm very picky about that.

936
01:01:01.660 --> 01:01:05.420
So I'm like, especially y'all for all y'all that have children.

937
01:01:08.120 --> 01:01:09.240
Um, yes.

938
01:01:09.960 --> 01:01:13.100
So Michelle, if you have more questions about that, let me know about

939
01:01:13.360 --> 01:01:15.100
giving out numbers and stuff like that.

940
01:01:15.100 --> 01:01:19.660
I I'm always safety first safety, safety first, and we can coach you

941
01:01:19.660 --> 01:01:22.320
and give you feedback on that.

942
01:01:24.100 --> 01:01:25.220
Um, yeah.

943
01:01:25.220 --> 01:01:31.000
And then like that, I, I personally don't like WhatsApp.

944
01:01:33.100 --> 01:01:39.920
I have found that to be more scammy just in my experience.

945
01:01:40.460 --> 01:01:42.520
And I mean, I'm not even talking about dating experience.

946
01:01:42.580 --> 01:01:48.060
Y'all like my kids go to a charter school and all the parents are in a WhatsApp.

947
01:01:48.980 --> 01:01:54.300
And so we literally have groups for every single like kindergarten

948
01:01:54.300 --> 01:01:59.720
through high school, we have parent groups for every single class,

949
01:02:00.040 --> 01:02:10.340
like every single graduating class this year, our entire school got hacked.

950
01:02:11.340 --> 01:02:17.160
And all these numbers started showing up in our groups where

951
01:02:17.160 --> 01:02:18.920
we were talking about our kids.

952
01:02:21.060 --> 01:02:24.440
And all these random, and we were a brand new school.

953
01:02:24.600 --> 01:02:25.580
Like they just opened a school.

954
01:02:25.600 --> 01:02:26.500
So we have a lot of new families.

955
01:02:26.660 --> 01:02:29.820
And so we didn't think anything of it, but then all of a sudden we're like

956
01:02:30.160 --> 01:02:32.680
200 brand new numbers in fourth grade.

957
01:02:33.040 --> 01:02:36.100
There's only 125 kids in fourth grade.

958
01:02:36.380 --> 01:02:42.160
Why, why are there 200 brand new numbers and numbers that we don't know who they

959
01:02:42.160 --> 01:02:44.100
are, they're not putting their names on them.

960
01:02:44.420 --> 01:02:47.040
And we're talking about our children.

961
01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:51.960
And it wasn't just our group.

962
01:02:52.360 --> 01:02:54.120
It was several of the grades.

963
01:02:55.540 --> 01:03:03.460
So I'm not, I don't particularly suggest WhatsApp for connecting with people.

964
01:03:03.740 --> 01:03:04.760
And here's the thing, ladies.

965
01:03:05.860 --> 01:03:10.980
If a guy is on your meeting, like you're talking to somebody on an app, why are

966
01:03:10.980 --> 01:03:12.940
you moving to another app to communicate?

967
01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:17.020
You can email.

968
01:03:17.540 --> 01:03:18.840
You can use a Google number.

969
01:03:18.940 --> 01:03:26.760
You can use zoom and we're having video calls and stuff like that fairly soon.

970
01:03:27.940 --> 01:03:30.480
And you're going to, you're God protected.

971
01:03:30.580 --> 01:03:31.360
You're God defended.

972
01:03:31.800 --> 01:03:33.660
So you're going to know.

973
01:03:34.500 --> 01:03:40.100
And if you don't know, and you're not sure we're, we're here to coach you.

974
01:03:40.440 --> 01:03:44.400
You let us know what like, Hey, Hey Carla.

975
01:03:44.560 --> 01:03:46.380
Like I've been talking to this person.

976
01:03:46.380 --> 01:03:48.260
This is how I'm feeling.

977
01:03:48.420 --> 01:03:49.620
I'm a little anxious about this.

978
01:03:49.640 --> 01:03:50.640
Can you help me with it?

979
01:03:50.680 --> 01:03:52.920
Well, yeah, of course I'm going to help you with it.

980
01:03:53.020 --> 01:03:53.420
Absolutely.

981
01:03:54.800 --> 01:03:56.760
Like, we'll walk you through it.

982
01:03:57.480 --> 01:03:57.480


983
01:03:59.840 --> 01:04:04.740
Well, I'll let, I'll, I will be, I'm I'll be your blind, like your blind spot.

984
01:04:05.300 --> 01:04:10.360
100% myself, Ebony, Jackie, Bethany, Renee, any of our coaches.

985
01:04:10.680 --> 01:04:11.120
Okay.

986
01:04:11.740 --> 01:04:14.060
If we see something, we're going to let you know.

987
01:04:14.140 --> 01:04:14.580
Okay.

988
01:04:15.100 --> 01:04:18.780
So, um, yeah, keep, keep that in mind.

989
01:04:19.860 --> 01:04:23.660
Like you ladies are never, I will never discourage you ladies.

990
01:04:24.380 --> 01:04:26.540
Like, I will never say that you post too much.

991
01:04:27.400 --> 01:04:33.660
I will never say that you come into that app and you post as many times with as

992
01:04:33.660 --> 01:04:38.320
many questions you come and ask as many questions on the chat.

993
01:04:38.400 --> 01:04:40.720
Now I can't answer all the questions on these video calls because

994
01:04:40.720 --> 01:04:42.020
we do have to limit the time.

995
01:04:42.620 --> 01:04:45.120
And those of you that have been with me a while now, I'm a talker.

996
01:04:45.360 --> 01:04:47.380
So you know that I always struggle with time.

997
01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:54.900
Um, and so, yeah, so, but we're here.

998
01:04:55.060 --> 01:04:55.760
All right.

999
01:04:56.100 --> 01:04:58.780
I will, I'll like, we're here to answer your questions.

1000
01:04:59.500 --> 01:04:59.980
Um,

1001
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.140
All right. Okay. So Mackenzie, Mika, Megan, Laurie, I see that you don't have updates.

1002
01:05:08.180 --> 01:05:13.560
Started working with a coach when I wanted to step with, okay, perfect. I love that.

1003
01:05:13.600 --> 01:05:19.220
Is that, are you talking about a one-on-one coach outside of last year's single or one-on-one

1004
01:05:19.220 --> 01:05:21.220
coach with last year's single? Outside.

1005
01:05:22.180 --> 01:05:26.760
Okay, cool. So this is particular for entrepreneurial stuff. That's amazing.

1006
01:05:26.760 --> 01:05:32.500
Yeah. You have to go after my creative dreams. God asked me that question, what do you want?

1007
01:05:32.940 --> 01:05:40.880
Back in 2018, then my revival group passed her at Bethel. She said it right away to me,

1008
01:05:40.880 --> 01:05:43.400
like right when I met her. And then Jackie said that again.

1009
01:05:44.060 --> 01:05:44.320
Yeah.

1010
01:05:44.320 --> 01:05:45.660
So it's time to answer that.

1011
01:05:45.680 --> 01:05:50.340
I'm going to be putting that over you for sure. Then I love that. I love that's the direction.

1012
01:05:50.340 --> 01:06:00.900
Like I said, you've had so much growth. It's been such a humbling and just a pleasure to

1013
01:06:02.620 --> 01:06:07.280
be on this journey with you. And so I'm really thankful that God is just sending

1014
01:06:07.280 --> 01:06:11.420
you in this direction. So we're all cheering you on.

1015
01:06:11.460 --> 01:06:11.460


1016
01:06:11.460 --> 01:06:15.460
I feel so humbled. Oh my goodness. I'm so thankful for you.

1017
01:06:15.820 --> 01:06:17.440
Oh, you're welcome. You're welcome.

1018
01:06:17.440 --> 01:06:22.540
I had a late workout, so I'm just through the showers. I have wet hair, but

1019
01:06:22.700 --> 01:06:23.960
otherwise I'll pop on.

1020
01:06:24.420 --> 01:06:25.400
Thank you for updating.

1021
01:06:26.520 --> 01:06:35.520
Yeah. I'm still keeping the... I'm still doing online kind of ebb and flow, but I'm keeping this...

1022
01:06:38.440 --> 01:06:43.220
I feel like this is really important for me to answer for myself. It's like creating a life

1023
01:06:43.220 --> 01:06:49.220
that regardless of what happens in this department, but I'm also not giving up on this because...

1024
01:06:50.120 --> 01:06:51.300
And that's right, ladies.

1025
01:06:51.420 --> 01:06:55.000
I feel like I'm right at the seize, like the seize is over moment.

1026
01:06:55.380 --> 01:07:02.200
Yes, ladies. And I want to encourage... Laurie, I'm so glad that you shared and Mackenzie and

1027
01:07:02.200 --> 01:07:04.800
Mika and Megan, I am going to get to you. I promise I will make the time for you.

1028
01:07:05.540 --> 01:07:10.500
So I don't want you to think that I'm ignoring you, but I do love what Laurie said here. And

1029
01:07:10.500 --> 01:07:13.620
I really feel something on this. And so I do want to address it.

1030
01:07:15.720 --> 01:07:18.940
Ladies, I know y'all are here because you have a desire to be married

1031
01:07:19.260 --> 01:07:26.560
and you're single, you're preparing for marriage, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't want to

1032
01:07:26.560 --> 01:07:30.400
bless you in other areas of your life. And he's not going to direct you to do other things in

1033
01:07:30.400 --> 01:07:38.980
other areas of your life. So if you feel pressed to do that, it's okay to move forward to that.

1034
01:07:39.600 --> 01:07:43.980
And it doesn't mean that this gets to take a back. It doesn't mean this is a backseat.

1035
01:07:46.260 --> 01:07:53.120
Sometimes it's those promptings and those places when we get pushed into that direction and that

1036
01:07:53.120 --> 01:07:59.340
destiny DNA that we're called to is when all those puzzle pieces get put together.

1037
01:08:00.940 --> 01:08:07.820
And so Laurie, I think it's great that you feel directed. You have like, I hear the peace

1038
01:08:07.820 --> 01:08:14.460
and the joy and the love in your, in your heart. And so I think you're on the right, right move.

1039
01:08:14.580 --> 01:08:18.040
You're on the right direction. And I don't even think you have to even worry about like,

1040
01:08:18.040 --> 01:08:21.180
it doesn't mean that I'm putting the backseat to that. No, we know that.

1041
01:08:22.560 --> 01:08:29.520
Yeah. I think I'm saying that to myself because I will often do like one thing at a time.

1042
01:08:30.160 --> 01:08:37.840
And so that's still definitely there, but I'm keeping this really, I feel like this just needs

1043
01:08:37.840 --> 01:08:45.359
to be so central because I'm one of the gals that lost myself. What you were saying not very long

1044
01:08:45.359 --> 01:08:53.279
ago in the conversation, I'd lose myself. I would become kind of like a supporter of somebody else's

1045
01:08:53.979 --> 01:09:01.979
dreams. And I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. So it's just really cool as I've stepped out and

1046
01:09:01.979 --> 01:09:09.600
like partnered with this gal that she does a lot with vision, nervous system regulation.

1047
01:09:11.439 --> 01:09:16.080
Even like recognizing yesterday was really big. Like that thought that goes around,

1048
01:09:16.080 --> 01:09:21.540
around in my mind. That's like, I won't get to, I won't be able to figure this out. She's like,

1049
01:09:21.540 --> 01:09:28.700
that's an OCD looping, dysregulated thought doesn't make any sense. And that was such a

1050
01:09:28.700 --> 01:09:34.800
big breakthrough for me, but just really cool. Like the things that are coming,

1051
01:09:35.720 --> 01:09:41.460
the things that I'm seeing and it just feels, it just feels beautiful and I'm excited about it.

1052
01:09:42.120 --> 01:09:46.020
Yeah. And one thing I, one thing I want to share and then I'm going to go to McKinsey.

1053
01:09:46.859 --> 01:09:52.859
Yeah. Ladies, the desires of your heart is also linked with your spirit mate.

1054
01:09:53.979 --> 01:09:59.980
Yeah. Your spirit mate is your spirit mate till death do you part.

1055
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:10.100
So whatever God has in your destiny DNA is intricately woven into your spirit mate as

1056
01:10:10.100 --> 01:10:10.480
well.

1057
01:10:12.520 --> 01:10:14.940
So there is partnership there.

1058
01:10:14.960 --> 01:10:21.860
If y'all have been around for a minute or you've listened to replays before or heard

1059
01:10:21.860 --> 01:10:28.360
Jackie share this, one of our ladies that came to the retreat in Austin a few weeks

1060
01:10:28.360 --> 01:10:34.240
ago, she, she's been here, you know, in our group for a few years and she had these like

1061
01:10:34.420 --> 01:10:37.220
giant awesome earrings and they were two cans.

1062
01:10:37.980 --> 01:10:38.540
Okay.

1063
01:10:38.540 --> 01:10:49.600
So anybody that's been around knows that that was like our like spirit mate match because

1064
01:10:49.620 --> 01:10:56.820
Jackie released this word of a two can one can't, but two can like the bird, the two

1065
01:10:56.820 --> 01:11:04.000
can like, because that's like, that's God's design.

1066
01:11:04.460 --> 01:11:08.140
Like y'all like to like, yeah, marriages.

1067
01:11:08.680 --> 01:11:13.540
So just know like whatever God has for your life, not just marriage, like marriage is

1068
01:11:13.540 --> 01:11:15.820
not the only thing God has in your life.

1069
01:11:16.100 --> 01:11:16.720
Yeah.

1070
01:11:17.360 --> 01:11:17.980
Yeah.

1071
01:11:17.980 --> 01:11:24.620
I would just say that like, it's a really cool time to be doing this because it's like

1072
01:11:24.620 --> 01:11:31.440
unhealed heart and my dreams were more ego or like adaptive self.

1073
01:11:32.120 --> 01:11:34.960
And now it's like, what is my authentic heart want?

1074
01:11:35.320 --> 01:11:38.320
What like, even like, I don't even know what I want.

1075
01:11:38.820 --> 01:11:46.680
Like to discover that now, but like, it's like, yeah, doing it with a father and like,

1076
01:11:46.820 --> 01:11:48.400
what does my heart really want?

1077
01:11:48.400 --> 01:11:51.160
Like he knows, like, yeah.

1078
01:11:51.620 --> 01:11:53.000
Oh, I love it.

1079
01:11:53.680 --> 01:11:55.200
I love all the things that are unfolding.

1080
01:11:55.600 --> 01:11:56.080
It's great.

1081
01:11:56.220 --> 01:11:56.560
Yeah.

1082
01:11:56.640 --> 01:11:56.980
All right.

1083
01:11:57.040 --> 01:11:57.460
Mackenzie.

1084
01:11:58.080 --> 01:11:59.300
Lori, sorry to cut you off.

1085
01:11:59.320 --> 01:12:02.240
Mackenzie, you're up Mika and then Megan.

1086
01:12:02.980 --> 01:12:04.660
Kelly, it's so good to see you.

1087
01:12:06.540 --> 01:12:06.900
I see.

1088
01:12:07.240 --> 01:12:07.740
I saw you.

1089
01:12:07.900 --> 01:12:09.160
You're like, you love the two can analogy.

1090
01:12:09.260 --> 01:12:11.940
I'm like, I know one of my girls knows what I'm talking about.

1091
01:12:12.740 --> 01:12:13.240
All right.

1092
01:12:13.240 --> 01:12:14.800
Mackenzie, what's up?

1093
01:12:16.700 --> 01:12:22.980
Hey, so I have, it's been about six weeks since I've been in the, in the, in the, in

1094
01:12:22.980 --> 01:12:24.500
the second phase.

1095
01:12:25.560 --> 01:12:35.180
And I met a guy like four days in, so we've been talking for six weeks and we talked about

1096
01:12:35.180 --> 01:12:35.840
him before.

1097
01:12:36.800 --> 01:12:45.560
So I don't know how much to refresh, but long story short, it's felt very aligned and a

1098
01:12:45.560 --> 01:12:50.900
lot of prophetic words, just like converging, which has been really cool, but also terrifying

1099
01:12:50.900 --> 01:12:51.680
at the same time.

1100
01:12:54.360 --> 01:12:58.440
And so just kind of holding on for the ride.

1101
01:12:59.080 --> 01:13:08.340
I'm a single mom, three boys and three boys, three boys, they're 10, eight and five.

1102
01:13:09.160 --> 01:13:09.160


1103
01:13:09.340 --> 01:13:09.700
Yeah.

1104
01:13:10.360 --> 01:13:13.520
So navigating all of that, their dad, you're busy.

1105
01:13:15.720 --> 01:13:20.380
So anyway, I met this guy, it just happened.

1106
01:13:21.160 --> 01:13:25.660
Like my radius wasn't set more than 200 miles, but he lives in California.

1107
01:13:25.660 --> 01:13:26.640
I'm in Colorado.

1108
01:13:27.460 --> 01:13:32.840
So navigating that, I think he's willing to relocate, but we both have kind of like two

1109
01:13:32.840 --> 01:13:33.680
year commitments.

1110
01:13:33.680 --> 01:13:36.800
So it could end up being kind of long thing.

1111
01:13:38.020 --> 01:13:44.180
So with that in mind, so the boy's dad is very flaky.

1112
01:13:44.740 --> 01:13:50.720
He was supposed to fly out next week to see me, but then he's like, Oh, I can't watch

1113
01:13:50.720 --> 01:13:51.460
the boys that weekend.

1114
01:13:51.620 --> 01:13:53.300
He's going to see his girlfriend.

1115
01:13:53.480 --> 01:13:56.520
So of course it fell through.

1116
01:13:57.940 --> 01:14:04.100
But my sister lives in LA and his lived in Pasadena.

1117
01:14:05.920 --> 01:14:10.920
So I'm actually going to fly out to see my sister for Thanksgiving weekend because the

1118
01:14:10.920 --> 01:14:14.440
boys will be with their dad and he's going to follow through because his family's going

1119
01:14:14.440 --> 01:14:20.240
to be there and he'll like, actually, yeah, girl, I got you.

1120
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:25.700
So I know breaking the like, he should make the first move to come here, but I'm like,

1121
01:14:25.700 --> 01:14:27.880
it just, I put a piece about it.

1122
01:14:28.480 --> 01:14:34.220
When you're going to see family, you're going to see your sister and your son's going to

1123
01:14:34.220 --> 01:14:36.780
be with his dad's side of the family.

1124
01:14:37.580 --> 01:14:38.480
So yeah, you're good.

1125
01:14:38.860 --> 01:14:39.500
I like that.

1126
01:14:40.040 --> 01:14:40.040


1127
01:14:40.040 --> 01:14:40.420
Okay.

1128
01:14:40.420 --> 01:14:42.180
So I'll get to see my sister.

1129
01:14:42.480 --> 01:14:43.720
I'll stay with her.

1130
01:14:44.320 --> 01:14:45.060
She'll hold me accountable.

1131
01:14:45.740 --> 01:14:46.880
Well, that's what I'm saying.

1132
01:14:47.100 --> 01:14:52.120
And like, and what I like to ladies is like, when you're going to visit somebody or they're

1133
01:14:52.120 --> 01:14:57.160
coming to visit you, especially in that first meeting, you don't need to be spending every

1134
01:14:57.160 --> 01:14:59.800
moment, every waking moment with that person.

1135
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.540
still brand new. Yeah. And a sister a friend or someone or

1136
01:15:05.540 --> 01:15:09.280
something other like other things to do in that area to

1137
01:15:09.540 --> 01:15:14.080
preoccupy your time and fill your time up. So that it is like

1138
01:15:14.080 --> 01:15:18.200
you're only going out for like a date and you might be Oh, let's

1139
01:15:18.200 --> 01:15:20.740
meet for breakfast for a couple hours and then you go do

1140
01:15:20.740 --> 01:15:24.340
something and then Oh, how about we go hang out and do this in

1141
01:15:24.340 --> 01:15:28.260
the afternoon evening. And then I'm going and having dinner like

1142
01:15:28.260 --> 01:15:33.380
doing such and such with my sister like you're not spending

1143
01:15:34.200 --> 01:15:39.540
you know, four straight days with the complete stranger and

1144
01:15:39.540 --> 01:15:41.800
trying to get like that's a lot of pressure y'all.

1145
01:15:42.100 --> 01:15:45.220
That's and that's what I felt and he'll be with his mom and

1146
01:15:45.220 --> 01:15:49.160
his sister who he hasn't told about me yet. So he will have to

1147
01:15:49.240 --> 01:15:53.280
like navigate that so to also hold him accountable. And yeah,

1148
01:15:53.280 --> 01:15:57.240
so it just and he was a chef in LA for 10 years. So I'm like

1149
01:15:57.240 --> 01:16:02.640
he'll know all the best places to go. So I'm excited to so it

1150
01:16:02.640 --> 01:16:05.160
just all kind of fell into place praying that the airlines

1151
01:16:05.160 --> 01:16:07.260
figured themselves out so I can go but

1152
01:16:07.480 --> 01:16:11.200
which I think I think I think things are looking up.

1153
01:16:12.580 --> 01:16:16.380
My question, I guess I was hoping to get some guidance.

1154
01:16:17.640 --> 01:16:22.620
Just for like, I think I'm the anxious attachment style. So

1155
01:16:22.620 --> 01:16:25.780
God's been really working on my heart of like, that worry and

1156
01:16:25.780 --> 01:16:28.720
that anxiety. It's actually pride of like, this is how I

1157
01:16:28.720 --> 01:16:32.240
think things should go. And so then like, stressing about that

1158
01:16:32.300 --> 01:16:34.720
and just being aware of like, every time I get in the like,

1159
01:16:34.820 --> 01:16:38.020
oh, this is the time. He didn't text me for a whole half hour.

1160
01:16:38.020 --> 01:16:41.360
And now he's done with me, you know, and like, just coming back

1161
01:16:41.360 --> 01:16:45.880
to like, giving it to God. And it's been really fun. Like, the

1162
01:16:45.880 --> 01:16:49.300
six weeks has flown by. And it's been really fun to get to know

1163
01:16:49.300 --> 01:16:51.560
him. And like, there's just been so many points where I'm like,

1164
01:16:52.200 --> 01:16:55.440
it's a yes. So it's a no. And I keep waiting for some no's. But

1165
01:16:55.440 --> 01:16:59.900
it's like, anyway, but if you have any advice for like that

1166
01:17:00.240 --> 01:17:04.200
anxious, anxious attachment style, like preparing for

1167
01:17:04.200 --> 01:17:07.160
meeting him, like the two weeks ahead of time, like how do I

1168
01:17:07.160 --> 01:17:08.840
build in that time?

1169
01:17:09.380 --> 01:17:12.640
Okay, so my biggest, my biggest thing is about like those

1170
01:17:12.640 --> 01:17:15.720
anxious attachment thing is, again, it's always just kind of

1171
01:17:18.600 --> 01:17:22.220
being able to identify what is the root of the anxious thought

1172
01:17:22.220 --> 01:17:24.760
like, what is the core thought you are believing?

1173
01:17:29.220 --> 01:17:33.140
So what, what let's like, I mean, we can do this here for

1174
01:17:33.140 --> 01:17:35.040
like, we got a couple minutes here. And I'm going to go to

1175
01:17:35.040 --> 01:17:35.540
Mika and Megan.

1176
01:17:37.060 --> 01:17:40.460
What thought surfaces? Like, give me an example. What's the

1177
01:17:40.460 --> 01:17:42.780
first thing that comes up when you think like an anxious

1178
01:17:42.780 --> 01:17:45.420
thought that will come up? Like, what's, what's the thought? I

1179
01:17:45.420 --> 01:17:48.680
think you said, he hasn't texted me for a whole hour.

1180
01:17:51.660 --> 01:17:55.300
Okay. Why does, does that feel, feel familiar?

1181
01:17:58.380 --> 01:17:59.360
Yeah. Why?

1182
01:18:00.060 --> 01:18:01.660
When does it feel familiar?

1183
01:18:02.820 --> 01:18:05.620
Well, my previous marriage.

1184
01:18:06.140 --> 01:18:11.080
Okay, your marriage. Okay, good. All right. Yeah. All right. So

1185
01:18:11.080 --> 01:18:15.820
that comes up to the surface. Okay. This guy's not calling me

1186
01:18:15.820 --> 01:18:18.660
in an hour. I'm getting this anxious feeling. I'm not

1187
01:18:18.660 --> 01:18:21.500
understanding. It feels very similar to my marriage. What

1188
01:18:21.500 --> 01:18:22.400
happened in your marriage?

1189
01:18:23.560 --> 01:18:25.000
I just saw neglect.

1190
01:18:26.100 --> 01:18:26.100


1191
01:18:26.740 --> 01:18:28.480
Never liked me.

1192
01:18:30.220 --> 01:18:32.200
Did he, did he never call?

1193
01:18:34.580 --> 01:18:37.440
No, never called or texted. And so it's been really refreshing

1194
01:18:37.440 --> 01:18:41.580
because this guy is very proactive and follows through.

1195
01:18:41.580 --> 01:18:47.560
And I just have, it's been encouraging. But then I also

1196
01:18:47.560 --> 01:18:50.720
catch myself with the like, okay, maybe I'm too much. Maybe

1197
01:18:50.720 --> 01:18:52.700
I finally said the thing that like,

1198
01:18:53.300 --> 01:18:54.100
okay, there we go.

1199
01:18:54.340 --> 01:18:55.220
Part of me, you know,

1200
01:18:55.660 --> 01:18:58.580
do you see how just these questions right now and I want

1201
01:18:58.580 --> 01:19:03.520
you to just write down or record yourself and listen to what you

1202
01:19:03.520 --> 01:19:10.420
said. And you literally just said, maybe I'm too much. Okay,

1203
01:19:10.420 --> 01:19:13.900
ladies, do you see how that like, literally, I want you all

1204
01:19:15.780 --> 01:19:19.420
to listen to this. Okay. Cause I, I'll do this with all of you

1205
01:19:19.260 --> 01:19:25.260
ladies. And you ladies can do this even without being on the

1206
01:19:25.260 --> 01:19:29.220
chat. Like I want you ladies to start practicing this. Okay. So

1207
01:19:30.560 --> 01:19:34.540
I asked her, she, she's like, okay, he didn't call or text me.

1208
01:19:34.540 --> 01:19:37.780
I started feeling anxious. I'm like, okay, well, when did that

1209
01:19:37.780 --> 01:19:41.800
feel familiar? What, when, what feels, feels familiar about it?

1210
01:19:41.800 --> 01:19:43.980
And she immediately was like my marriage. I'm like, okay, well,

1211
01:19:44.060 --> 01:19:50.320
why? Well, I was neglected. He never liked me. I asked, well,

1212
01:19:50.320 --> 01:19:52.940
did he never call you? She said, no, he never called or text.

1213
01:19:53.020 --> 01:19:56.980
I'm going to ask this. Was he, and you don't have to answer me

1214
01:19:56.980 --> 01:19:58.880
if it's, you know, again,

1215
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.200
I'm a safe space, but if you don't feel comfortable, I don't ever want you ladies to feel forced

1216
01:20:05.160 --> 01:20:07.080
Did he call and text other women?

1217
01:20:09.740 --> 01:20:10.820
Yeah, yeah

1218
01:20:11.200 --> 01:20:17.340
He called and text other women. He didn't call and text her. So do you see how it parallels?

1219
01:20:17.960 --> 01:20:23.900
Why she's feeling anxious. She's not anxious because this guy is like the same person

1220
01:20:24.640 --> 01:20:27.840
She's anxious because her body's responding to an

1221
01:20:27.990 --> 01:20:30.890
An old pattern

1222
01:20:32.230 --> 01:20:35.970
an old area of something that hurt

1223
01:20:37.590 --> 01:20:39.570
Our body doesn't

1224
01:20:39.590 --> 01:20:46.250
Doesn't hold time like it doesn't recognize like past present future. It literally just

1225
01:20:47.290 --> 01:20:49.510
recognizes like the feeling

1226
01:20:50.690 --> 01:20:55.990
It doesn't associate it to what's happening does that make sense? I don't know if that's really making sense

1227
01:20:56.550 --> 01:21:02.350
Like it's the body is not the brain does that make I mean like it it like yeah, I don't know

1228
01:21:02.350 --> 01:21:06.550
I feel like if I'm gonna try to explain it more. I'm just gonna kiss everybody. So I'll just stop while I'm ahead

1229
01:21:08.250 --> 01:21:11.230
So you see how we get there and then

1230
01:21:12.250 --> 01:21:16.830
We understand her husband was texting other women. And so then she goes to this thought

1231
01:21:18.850 --> 01:21:20.270
Maybe I'm too much

1232
01:21:22.110 --> 01:21:24.990
Did your husband ever tell you you were too much

1233
01:21:26.390 --> 01:21:28.470
Mm-hmm. Yeah

1234
01:21:28.470 --> 01:21:35.770
Why did he say you were expected too much? And you know, okay. Was that true? No

1235
01:21:36.490 --> 01:21:38.350
Exactly. Yeah

1236
01:21:39.390 --> 01:21:43.650
So right there guess what ladies is that a truth or is that a lie

1237
01:21:44.770 --> 01:21:48.110
That's a lie. So is that coming from God or

1238
01:21:50.630 --> 01:21:53.910
That coming from the enemy enemy

1239
01:21:56.350 --> 01:21:57.390
Okay, yeah

1240
01:21:58.490 --> 01:22:04.330
He's always gonna try to sit here and sabotage or we're gonna sometimes want to sabotage it ourselves because we're afraid

1241
01:22:05.470 --> 01:22:12.630
We and I understand it y'all I I'm the lady that knows I mean I was left seven months pregnant y'all

1242
01:22:15.110 --> 01:22:20.430
My son's dad left me for someone else when I was seven months pregnant and didn't even tell me I

1243
01:22:20.610 --> 01:22:27.090
Didn't find out about the girl the other woman she was a girl because she's 12 years younger than me. I

1244
01:22:27.090 --> 01:22:32.910
Didn't find out about her until my son was six months old and I didn't even find out from his dad

1245
01:22:34.890 --> 01:22:35.690
His dad

1246
01:22:36.170 --> 01:22:42.810
Didn't actually fess up or communicate to me or I actually kind of brought it out of the bag when my my son was two

1247
01:22:42.810 --> 01:22:43.490
years old

1248
01:22:45.570 --> 01:22:47.650
So I get it

1249
01:22:47.650 --> 01:22:55.330
Okay, but I some five and he just confessed like this summer to actually being a relationship girl he left me for so

1250
01:22:55.930 --> 01:22:57.050
Yeah, exactly

1251
01:22:57.770 --> 01:23:05.290
Like but what I can say is I want this to encourage you like I've healed from that and it's okay

1252
01:23:05.970 --> 01:23:06.530
Yeah

1253
01:23:07.410 --> 01:23:09.130
it hurt and

1254
01:23:09.930 --> 01:23:11.490
I carried it and

1255
01:23:12.010 --> 01:23:16.810
God gave me a lot of breakthrough and a lot of healing and it was through recognizing it because then I'm like

1256
01:23:16.810 --> 01:23:19.830
It wasn't it's not that I'm too much

1257
01:23:21.770 --> 01:23:26.890
It was I didn't expect too much he wasn't making a good choice

1258
01:23:27.270 --> 01:23:31.630
This had nothing to do about me. This had everything to do about him

1259
01:23:33.310 --> 01:23:34.030
and

1260
01:23:34.070 --> 01:23:35.510
God honestly

1261
01:23:36.370 --> 01:23:40.910
Allow me to see this compassionate side

1262
01:23:41.930 --> 01:23:47.470
And I actually had this sense of compassion for my son's biological dad

1263
01:23:48.450 --> 01:23:51.930
Well, it's like wow, he's just been really hurt

1264
01:23:53.790 --> 01:23:59.450
And does it didn't mean that like I agreed with what he did or that

1265
01:24:00.650 --> 01:24:04.090
He doesn't still make the greatest choices

1266
01:24:04.090 --> 01:24:10.890
but I mean God literally was just like you don't have to hang on to that bitterness and that unforgiveness and

1267
01:24:10.910 --> 01:24:12.610
that anger anymore

1268
01:24:15.070 --> 01:24:19.710
And so when these anxious feelings start surfacing lady

1269
01:24:20.290 --> 01:24:23.350
Especially with someone that you just start dating

1270
01:24:23.930 --> 01:24:29.250
Or in you're in it. Let's say you let's say you go into a level three relationship

1271
01:24:29.430 --> 01:24:34.170
Let's say you go into engagement. Let's say you go into marriage a lot of times these thoughts

1272
01:24:34.810 --> 01:24:40.210
Nothing to do with the person that you're with it has a lot to do with past

1273
01:24:41.730 --> 01:24:42.850
trauma behavior

1274
01:24:43.850 --> 01:24:46.490
responses all that stuff from the past and

1275
01:24:48.510 --> 01:24:50.270
It's just an opportunity to heal

1276
01:24:54.530 --> 01:24:59.970
And so when those anxious things come up that's when you'd be like, wait a second why what is this anxious thought?

1277
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.220
Is this actually tied to the person that I'm with and what they're doing?

1278
01:25:04.900 --> 01:25:09.080
Do I have any reason to doubt that they're not calling and texting me?

1279
01:25:09.280 --> 01:25:12.620
Do I have any reason to feel like I'm too much?

1280
01:25:14.060 --> 01:25:18.720
God, you don't say that. You protect me. You care for me.

1281
01:25:20.720 --> 01:25:26.280
And ladies, I will tell you, if you are in a situation with someone that is not a good person

1282
01:25:26.840 --> 01:25:32.600
and God, God is God. I've seen God do some crazy things where

1283
01:25:33.820 --> 01:25:38.540
people thought they were in really good relationships and then out of the blue,

1284
01:25:40.120 --> 01:25:43.980
they found out and they like, it was a God thing.

1285
01:25:46.480 --> 01:25:52.800
And yeah, it can hurt and it can be like a shock at first, but I will tell you,

1286
01:25:52.800 --> 01:25:59.660
it was very, very supernatural that a lot of these men and women, I say men too,

1287
01:25:59.700 --> 01:26:05.000
because you know, men, men are not, you know, left out from this type of stuff either.

1288
01:26:07.560 --> 01:26:12.100
And God saved them. He was like, I'm going to expose this.

1289
01:26:12.740 --> 01:26:16.460
And yeah, it can be devastating at first, but

1290
01:26:18.860 --> 01:26:23.700
if it didn't get exposed the way it did, they could have been in it for way longer.

1291
01:26:25.680 --> 01:26:29.940
I count it as a blessing. My son's dad left me seven months pregnant.

1292
01:26:31.060 --> 01:26:38.240
I didn't feel that way at first. Y'all, I felt really abandoned, like super abandoned.

1293
01:26:39.480 --> 01:26:44.580
I was a new mom, didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know how to take care of myself.

1294
01:26:46.140 --> 01:26:55.400
But he did me a favor and he did my son a favor because I didn't have to stay in a toxic

1295
01:26:55.520 --> 01:27:00.980
relationship and my son didn't have to witness his mom and dad in a toxic environment.

1296
01:27:04.060 --> 01:27:14.560
And I thank God for that. I couldn't, in the moment, I'll be honest, there were times I was

1297
01:27:15.280 --> 01:27:17.780
how God used it as a blessing.

1298
01:27:20.480 --> 01:27:26.960
So just when those anxious thoughts come, ladies, I want you to sit and I want you to process those.

1299
01:27:28.200 --> 01:27:30.760
What's it rooted in? What lie are you believing?

1300
01:27:31.520 --> 01:27:37.900
And then ask God to replace the lie with the truth. So Mackenzie, you aren't too much.

1301
01:27:39.840 --> 01:27:50.020
You are just enough. You're the perfect amount. Thank you. You're welcome. And you've got

1302
01:27:50.620 --> 01:28:01.380
three blessings. I do. I do. They're awesome. Like even, even though you got blessings out of it,

1303
01:28:01.940 --> 01:28:08.940
that God didn't put it to waste. It's true. Like, remember that.

1304
01:28:10.440 --> 01:28:14.740
And he's here to restore. He's here to redeem all those broken areas.

1305
01:28:15.640 --> 01:28:18.340
So those anxious thoughts come and be like, no, God, you got me.

1306
01:28:21.100 --> 01:28:26.820
I don't have to be enough for anybody on this, on this earth, because I'm already enough for you.

1307
01:28:27.460 --> 01:28:35.780
And you have someone for me. That's I don't have to prove that I'm enough for,

1308
01:28:37.680 --> 01:28:41.400
you'll not have to prove that you are enough for your spirit mate.

1309
01:28:42.600 --> 01:28:45.060
He's going to cherish you as you are.

1310
01:28:49.060 --> 01:28:54.620
And ask the Lord to show that to you. Ladies, pray for that.

1311
01:28:56.200 --> 01:29:03.020
Pray for God to reveal those things to you. Lord, I just would love for you to show me

1312
01:29:04.020 --> 01:29:09.920
when my spirit mate is just cherishing me. What do you, how do you want me cherished?

1313
01:29:12.560 --> 01:29:19.480
The way you desire me to be cherished. I want you to show me that speak to me when,

1314
01:29:20.040 --> 01:29:23.200
when my spirit mate cherishes me in that way.

1315
01:29:25.080 --> 01:29:33.140
Lord, I want, I want to know you cherish me, show me how you cherish me and he'll begin to show you.

1316
01:29:37.280 --> 01:29:43.260
All right, Mika, I'm coming to you, girl. You've been so patient. Mika and Megan and Mackenzie,

1317
01:29:43.620 --> 01:29:51.800
thank you all for being so patient. Of course, of course. Thank you for sharing. And that was

1318
01:29:51.800 --> 01:29:59.760
really helpful for me. I pulled some nuggets out of that one too. So recently, so I have

1319
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.340
I still have my day scheduled for Thursday.

1320
01:30:04.120 --> 01:30:04.400
Okay.

1321
01:30:04.400 --> 01:30:06.820
You guys noticed that one.

1322
01:30:08.000 --> 01:30:14.420
I'm just going to front, front load the, the Friday so Friday there's a singles.

1323
01:30:15.940 --> 01:30:18.000
It's like a, it's very unusual.

1324
01:30:18.200 --> 01:30:30.660
So basically you waitlist yourself. If you don't know of a guy to bring, it's a Christian community, but if you don't know a guy to bring, and you can't register together you waitlist yourself and they actually, I didn't realize they were going to do this

1325
01:30:30.660 --> 01:30:43.160
but they actually will match you for you. They'll match you so now I'm apparently matched because I was way I waitlisted myself instead of asking a guy in the community because I was too chicken.

1326
01:30:43.160 --> 01:30:57.100
I'm gonna be honest, to come because you're supposed to invite a guy even if you're not interested like you guys beautifully do think about your community but I was chicken, like, so I didn't do it but we actually have a match for you.

1327
01:30:58.260 --> 01:31:12.020
Well, good news to draw the way you've been matched and I was like, can I undo that where I can, I have to come by myself but I didn't do it. I didn't check it out so I'm going to be meeting someone it's a blind date basically, but it's not I don't know

1328
01:31:12.020 --> 01:31:22.620
what they're going to do it's really weird. They have it like where it's going to be like 80 different couples but they're gonna have like a Christian comedian there they're going to have like all of these things it's in New York City Stephanie if you're

1329
01:31:22.620 --> 01:31:37.800
on Stephanie, get on that. It's called uncut on but if she hears in a replay makeup posted in our community is, I know, I know it's not I know that's like a rule and stuff but yeah okay but posted in the community, you know, like you're not

1330
01:31:38.800 --> 01:31:41.480
single, are you in single cities.

1331
01:31:42.460 --> 01:31:50.720
I'm not in Salem single cities, but I can, I can post it, I'll post it in our just because my dad died recently so I'm just giving Facebook a break.

1332
01:31:51.160 --> 01:31:57.640
Okay, what I can do is, but what I will, I can post it in our, our community, how about our community or all of our board.

1333
01:31:58.140 --> 01:32:11.500
Is that okay or no, that's still no or maybe I'll give it to you and you can post it if you feel. Go ahead and post it, and I will look through it if I have to edit it, I will, I may have to take it down or I'll respond to you, post it.

1334
01:32:11.860 --> 01:32:12.400
Sure. Okay.

1335
01:32:12.940 --> 01:32:13.760
Okay, go ahead.

1336
01:32:14.200 --> 01:32:14.640
Okay.

1337
01:32:15.160 --> 01:32:24.960
Oh, yeah, and they're anybody says anything I'm gonna be like I told her she could post it. Thank you, thank you, thank you and it's your justice house of prayer to house of prayer and so yeah like there.

1338
01:32:24.960 --> 01:32:34.600
I, yeah, you guys, I think you guys have the same DNA gene thing going on I don't know what. But, so I matched up with this guy, so I matched up with this guy that I've never met before.

1339
01:32:35.500 --> 01:32:38.760
And so now they're going to be all these different activities and everything.

1340
01:32:39.760 --> 01:32:52.540
And it gets a little bit better because I actually told someone I told them about it so they might be going, but I told them the waitlist themselves so they get matched so we're not matched, just so it wouldn't be weird.

1341
01:32:52.540 --> 01:33:09.180
But, so my question is, what are some things that I could do, I guess, or, like, do I treat that situation like a couple now because it's not a usual situation where we're like seeing each other first or.

1342
01:33:10.000 --> 01:33:25.640
Do you think I should push to have a video chat before Friday, even though that's not something that was like, what do you think or should I just embrace the, the experience of just having a blind date just to be have the fun story so there's like everybody that is going to be at this event are going to be single is what it sounds like.

1343
01:33:25.640 --> 01:33:30.320
Yeah, and the idea was so it wouldn't be more women than men which typically happens.

1344
01:33:31.020 --> 01:33:39.900
Well, and I think that honestly I think in the beginning, and a lot of places, I think, most of the time it's always more women than men.

1345
01:33:40.700 --> 01:33:50.780
So I think a lot of people are starting to pick up on that and they're finding creative ways to make sure that it's balanced, so I love that, that they're doing that that's incredible.

1346
01:33:53.100 --> 01:34:00.400
So, I mean, yeah, I mean, definitely go like open to just getting to know this person.

1347
01:34:00.960 --> 01:34:08.780
Yeah, it sounds like you're in a whole situation where everyone's single and just kind of getting to know people.

1348
01:34:09.040 --> 01:34:27.040
Right, so I don't want to. So do I stay with that person I'm obligated to like because I, I attached to people real quick, and I'm like, because I don't want anyone to feel like offended but if everybody's kind of like, it's not like people are like coming, everyone's

1349
01:34:27.100 --> 01:34:40.600
single everyone's been matched but they may not, they're like family match like you're saying. So, perfect like when you get that first introduction like when you're getting to know somebody like you can have the conversation about the event.

1350
01:34:41.800 --> 01:34:50.300
Be like, yeah, when I waitlisted myself that I was going to get matches is really cool like, have you experienced this before I've done this before.

1351
01:34:51.100 --> 01:34:54.240
I kind of don't know what to expect this is my first time.

1352
01:34:55.840 --> 01:34:59.800
Do I like, and if they're like yeah this is the first time I've had to be like.

1353
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:00.400
Okay.

1354
01:35:00.540 --> 01:35:06.340
Like you'll be able to pick up their vibe and see how they, you're a very personal person.

1355
01:35:06.760 --> 01:35:07.860
I mean, I get that.

1356
01:35:08.280 --> 01:35:08.480
Oh, thanks.

1357
01:35:09.700 --> 01:35:15.520
Like, I feel like you're very similar to me and like, you can go into a crowd and you

1358
01:35:15.520 --> 01:35:17.700
can just talk to anybody.

1359
01:35:18.000 --> 01:35:18.480
Yep.

1360
01:35:18.540 --> 01:35:19.040
That's me.

1361
01:35:19.180 --> 01:35:19.520
That's me.

1362
01:35:19.520 --> 01:35:19.900
Yeah.

1363
01:35:19.920 --> 01:35:20.300
Yeah.

1364
01:35:20.140 --> 01:35:28.300
So, and that's how I always am as well, especially when I would be on dates, like if I wasn't

1365
01:35:28.300 --> 01:35:32.220
having fun with my day, I was typically like engaging with, like I'd engage my date with

1366
01:35:32.220 --> 01:35:37.340
other people and like chat and talk and just like get a group of, I mean, that's just,

1367
01:35:37.540 --> 01:35:38.940
that's my personality.

1368
01:35:39.960 --> 01:35:41.260
That's a good idea.

1369
01:35:41.360 --> 01:35:42.280
That's a good idea.

1370
01:35:42.460 --> 01:35:43.240
I wouldn't have thought of that.

1371
01:35:43.900 --> 01:35:43.900


1372
01:35:45.220 --> 01:35:48.800
But my guess is you probably do read people pretty well.

1373
01:35:49.920 --> 01:35:56.140
You're probably intuitive and you can pick up on whether they're comfortable or not.

1374
01:35:56.140 --> 01:36:00.460
And if they're willing to engage, I mean, if they're like closed off, like whatever

1375
01:36:00.460 --> 01:36:05.420
and uncomfortable, I mean, you're going to see that you're going to be able to respond

1376
01:36:05.420 --> 01:36:06.020
to that.

1377
01:36:06.400 --> 01:36:08.980
You're going to have compassion and consideration for that.

1378
01:36:10.040 --> 01:36:13.200
But I don't think it's going to hold you back from just being who you are.

1379
01:36:13.660 --> 01:36:14.080
Thank you.

1380
01:36:14.380 --> 01:36:15.620
Thanks for saying that.

1381
01:36:15.720 --> 01:36:16.040
Yeah.

1382
01:36:16.040 --> 01:36:23.320
And it shouldn't, you know, I say, you know what, have a good time with it.

1383
01:36:23.580 --> 01:36:24.800
Get to know people.

1384
01:36:24.800 --> 01:36:26.880
Do you think I should call him first?

1385
01:36:27.320 --> 01:36:30.020
Because he put our numbers together.

1386
01:36:30.140 --> 01:36:37.040
He's like, okay, so just set up your, well, you get your ticket, set it up as a pair.

1387
01:36:38.920 --> 01:36:41.120
But we just did it today.

1388
01:36:41.120 --> 01:36:42.600
It literally just happened today.

1389
01:36:42.660 --> 01:36:48.140
So I'm like, I'm group matched on this guy's, on his phone numbers.

1390
01:36:48.140 --> 01:36:50.620
But do you think I should wait for him to call or should I just call?

1391
01:36:50.620 --> 01:36:54.820
I would wait for him until maybe like midday Friday.

1392
01:36:55.100 --> 01:36:59.760
If he hasn't reached out to you, then you can just like drop them a little, Hey, I'm

1393
01:36:59.760 --> 01:37:00.400
so-and-so.

1394
01:37:00.560 --> 01:37:04.420
I think you and I got Matt, like, I think I know you and I got matched tonight.

1395
01:37:04.640 --> 01:37:05.720
I'm really excited.

1396
01:37:06.040 --> 01:37:09.540
I'm looking forward to, do you know who the comedian is?

1397
01:37:11.980 --> 01:37:13.520
It just says Christian comedian.

1398
01:37:13.720 --> 01:37:16.460
I don't know who it just says Christian comedian.

1399
01:37:16.540 --> 01:37:18.680
It doesn't say who I do like comedy.

1400
01:37:18.680 --> 01:37:20.620
I like to, I need to laugh right now.

1401
01:37:21.820 --> 01:37:25.400
Like, I mean, you can just be like, I'm looking forward to it.

1402
01:37:25.800 --> 01:37:29.220
Like, you know, just have a little small talk if you can.

1403
01:37:29.940 --> 01:37:31.120
And then I see what you're saying.

1404
01:37:31.340 --> 01:37:32.240
Just about keep it.

1405
01:37:32.320 --> 01:37:33.140
That's so helpful.

1406
01:37:33.460 --> 01:37:39.180
Keep it focused on the event versus are we a match or are we not a match?

1407
01:37:39.400 --> 01:37:45.660
And if we're not a match, you go find somebody and I'll go find somebody just about the event.

1408
01:37:45.660 --> 01:37:47.020
It's about the experience.

1409
01:37:47.140 --> 01:37:48.340
It's about having fun.

1410
01:37:48.340 --> 01:37:51.300
It's about getting to know somebody new.

1411
01:37:51.540 --> 01:37:52.940
This is not about ladies.

1412
01:37:53.480 --> 01:37:59.320
When y'all meet people for the first time, it's not like, take the pressure off yourself.

1413
01:38:00.380 --> 01:38:03.840
Don't sit there and try to figure out, is this my person or not?

1414
01:38:05.740 --> 01:38:06.360
I make it.

1415
01:38:06.440 --> 01:38:08.060
You're like, I do that.

1416
01:38:08.120 --> 01:38:09.400
I do that.

1417
01:38:09.420 --> 01:38:10.080
I did that.

1418
01:38:10.580 --> 01:38:10.780
Yeah.

1419
01:38:10.780 --> 01:38:15.460
That actually is so few are spot on because that happened with the other date that's scheduled

1420
01:38:15.460 --> 01:38:17.760
for Thursday, but I said, we're like blind.

1421
01:38:17.760 --> 01:38:19.200
I don't know what he looked.

1422
01:38:19.240 --> 01:38:21.880
Well, I know what he looks like now because we accidentally send each other pictures,

1423
01:38:22.600 --> 01:38:23.820
but we've been actually talking.

1424
01:38:24.080 --> 01:38:30.640
Apparently he's going through his mom is in hospice care and my dad just passed away four

1425
01:38:30.640 --> 01:38:36.920
days ago and it was like at the same time we were matched, but we have so much in common

1426
01:38:36.920 --> 01:38:39.660
by text and even like a little phone chat.

1427
01:38:39.660 --> 01:38:40.540
It's actually kind of crazy.

1428
01:38:40.740 --> 01:38:42.140
We're even talking with him.

1429
01:38:42.380 --> 01:38:44.000
It's like really crazy.

1430
01:38:44.620 --> 01:38:45.100
Yeah.

1431
01:38:45.100 --> 01:38:49.360
And I was, and I asked him, I asked, yeah, I'm still talking with him, but I asked him,

1432
01:38:49.460 --> 01:38:54.580
I'm like, he was like, maybe we should tab being, maybe we should tab the whole dating

1433
01:38:54.580 --> 01:38:58.800
and just get to know each other as friends since we're both going through something that's

1434
01:38:59.220 --> 01:39:00.020
really strong.

1435
01:39:00.020 --> 01:39:01.560
Cause I was telling him what I've been learning here.

1436
01:39:01.560 --> 01:39:04.280
I was like, I'm learning something from the coaching that we're not supposed to share

1437
01:39:04.280 --> 01:39:06.420
too much as we're getting to know each other.

1438
01:39:06.420 --> 01:39:07.040
That's what I was going to say.

1439
01:39:07.120 --> 01:39:11.120
I'm like, if you're still talking to him, don't, don't trauma bond.

1440
01:39:11.240 --> 01:39:13.280
Don't attach to him with the loss.

1441
01:39:13.800 --> 01:39:14.440
Thank you.

1442
01:39:14.440 --> 01:39:14.920
Yeah.

1443
01:39:15.420 --> 01:39:16.020
Yeah.

1444
01:39:16.020 --> 01:39:17.680
I mean that, that can happen.

1445
01:39:17.780 --> 01:39:23.200
And again, there's nothing, it doesn't mean that you're not a healthy person.

1446
01:39:23.240 --> 01:39:28.180
Like I don't, I think it's just natural when you're going through a tough time or something

1447
01:39:28.180 --> 01:39:35.120
emotional, it's just natural to connect with people who are in that same season or experiencing

1448
01:39:35.120 --> 01:39:36.260
that same thing.

1449
01:39:38.160 --> 01:39:42.480
However, for the sake of like, when you're getting to know somebody and like dating a

1450
01:39:42.700 --> 01:39:47.220
brand new person, that's when sometimes it can get a little entangled.

1451
01:39:48.360 --> 01:39:48.640
Thank you.

1452
01:39:49.120 --> 01:39:49.420
That's helpful.

1453
01:39:49.920 --> 01:39:51.920
Just be caught, like, just be cautious.

1454
01:39:52.620 --> 01:39:57.020
You know, that's when, when you're going through those emotional milestones in your life and

1455
01:39:57.020 --> 01:39:59.000
things of that nature is happening.

1456
01:39:59.240 --> 01:39:59.980
It really.

1457
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.020
is important to connect with people that you're close with,

1458
01:40:04.500 --> 01:40:07.400
that you know, and that know you.

1459
01:40:09.340 --> 01:40:11.640
Those are the people that you have

1460
01:40:11.940 --> 01:40:13.320
that intimate relationship with.

1461
01:40:13.340 --> 01:40:14.660
You don't have intimate relationships

1462
01:40:14.720 --> 01:40:16.360
with people you don't know.

1463
01:40:17.120 --> 01:40:18.080
Thank you, yeah.

1464
01:40:18.260 --> 01:40:19.280
Yeah, so keep that in mind.

1465
01:40:19.380 --> 01:40:21.620
But yeah, go have, like go into it with the event.

1466
01:40:21.880 --> 01:40:24.340
Don't, ladies, don't go into it like,

1467
01:40:24.820 --> 01:40:26.580
is this my husband, is this not my husband?

1468
01:40:27.060 --> 01:40:29.340
You will stress yourself out.

1469
01:40:29.940 --> 01:40:33.840
I wish I had this program when I was in my 20s.

1470
01:40:34.580 --> 01:40:37.400
I didn't find Jackie until I was in my late 30s.

1471
01:40:38.060 --> 01:40:40.020
I'm like, dang, if someone would have told me

1472
01:40:40.020 --> 01:40:41.780
all of this stuff when I was 20,

1473
01:40:42.500 --> 01:40:44.380
I might not have had to go through

1474
01:40:44.380 --> 01:40:45.660
some of the stuff I went through.

1475
01:40:46.140 --> 01:40:48.740
Not that I regret any of it,

1476
01:40:48.920 --> 01:40:51.540
because again, God has used it all for good.

1477
01:40:53.560 --> 01:40:57.220
But man, like sometimes we make it harder on ourselves

1478
01:40:57.220 --> 01:40:58.120
than it needs to be.

1479
01:40:58.760 --> 01:40:59.880
We really do.

1480
01:41:00.900 --> 01:41:02.740
And God just knows what's best for us.

1481
01:41:03.000 --> 01:41:05.280
And we just are always resisting him.

1482
01:41:05.440 --> 01:41:06.080
Let's be real.

1483
01:41:08.020 --> 01:41:09.740
All right, Mika, thank you so much.

1484
01:41:10.220 --> 01:41:11.040
All right, Megan, thank you.

1485
01:41:11.240 --> 01:41:13.820
Megan, thank you for your patience.

1486
01:41:14.140 --> 01:41:15.180
Yeah, no worries, thank you.

1487
01:41:15.740 --> 01:41:18.260
You get my patience award for today.

1488
01:41:18.880 --> 01:41:21.780
And all my ladies, I see lots of people in the chat,

1489
01:41:22.040 --> 01:41:23.480
so like Michelle and Ashley,

1490
01:41:23.620 --> 01:41:26.060
ladies, put your stuff in the chat, in the app,

1491
01:41:26.060 --> 01:41:27.980
please, please, please, please.

1492
01:41:27.980 --> 01:41:29.920
So that I can get to you.

1493
01:41:30.520 --> 01:41:33.240
I know we're heading pretty late today.

1494
01:41:33.340 --> 01:41:35.640
So I wanna get right to Megan's question.

1495
01:41:35.880 --> 01:41:37.120
She's been patient enough.

1496
01:41:37.600 --> 01:41:39.220
And then I will release you ladies.

1497
01:41:39.360 --> 01:41:41.220
And if any of you ladies can't stay on,

1498
01:41:41.520 --> 01:41:43.000
please don't feel like you're forced to.

1499
01:41:43.700 --> 01:41:45.420
This is in replay, so you can always come back.

1500
01:41:46.200 --> 01:41:47.300
All right, Megan, what's your question?

1501
01:41:48.620 --> 01:41:49.840
Hi, so thanks.

1502
01:41:49.900 --> 01:41:51.320
This is my first live call.

1503
01:41:52.080 --> 01:41:52.920
So just a bit nervous.

1504
01:41:53.420 --> 01:41:54.880
But I first must say,

1505
01:41:54.880 --> 01:41:56.980
I just thank you so much for your answer to Mackenzie,

1506
01:41:57.140 --> 01:41:58.920
because that's really gone through a lot of,

1507
01:41:59.420 --> 01:42:01.280
I think, so there are two scenarios I want to go through.

1508
01:42:01.360 --> 01:42:03.980
And I think the first, your response to Mackenzie

1509
01:42:04.280 --> 01:42:06.240
probably has answered my first question.

1510
01:42:07.860 --> 01:42:10.160
So I'm maybe about the,

1511
01:42:10.520 --> 01:42:12.080
it's been about maybe four weeks or so.

1512
01:42:12.940 --> 01:42:14.580
It's been a bit slow for a few reasons.

1513
01:42:14.580 --> 01:42:17.040
I posted in the chat, yeah, that I'm based in Australia.

1514
01:42:17.060 --> 01:42:19.500
So we don't have Facebook dating over here.

1515
01:42:20.060 --> 01:42:22.660
So I've just been trying to see what platform

1516
01:42:22.660 --> 01:42:24.300
to go to online.

1517
01:42:24.300 --> 01:42:25.360
I'm getting there.

1518
01:42:25.640 --> 01:42:26.440
But in the meantime,

1519
01:42:26.460 --> 01:42:28.240
I've been trying to open up to offline,

1520
01:42:28.720 --> 01:42:31.280
which has been a little bit of a challenge

1521
01:42:31.280 --> 01:42:32.260
because it's not something,

1522
01:42:32.320 --> 01:42:33.340
I think I've done online before,

1523
01:42:33.360 --> 01:42:34.780
so I feel like I know that a bit more.

1524
01:42:35.620 --> 01:42:36.940
But with offline, there are a couple of things.

1525
01:42:37.320 --> 01:42:39.380
So one of the first things was,

1526
01:42:39.900 --> 01:42:42.320
around mid this year, when I was still in the HART,

1527
01:42:42.460 --> 01:42:42.980
the HART work course,

1528
01:42:43.240 --> 01:42:45.100
my sister introduced me to someone.

1529
01:42:46.380 --> 01:42:47.480
But because we're not,

1530
01:42:47.880 --> 01:42:51.280
we were, you kind of have a dating freeze in that thing.

1531
01:42:51.560 --> 01:42:52.960
I kind of went to the side

1532
01:42:52.960 --> 01:42:54.040
and maybe I was a little bit-

1533
01:42:54.040 --> 01:42:55.000
Like, no, can't date in HART work.

1534
01:42:55.700 --> 01:42:56.060
Exactly.

1535
01:42:56.760 --> 01:42:58.340
And so I think I was maybe a little bit,

1536
01:42:58.400 --> 01:42:59.740
I think I didn't know how to do it.

1537
01:42:59.760 --> 01:43:02.680
So I ended up being, showing maybe a lack of interest.

1538
01:43:02.820 --> 01:43:04.220
But now I'm thinking, okay,

1539
01:43:04.280 --> 01:43:07.880
I'd love to see if I can connect to that person again.

1540
01:43:08.720 --> 01:43:10.980
But it's more, what can I say?

1541
01:43:11.040 --> 01:43:13.720
It's just hard now to switch if I put it that way.

1542
01:43:13.880 --> 01:43:15.580
So it's kind of like, it's more,

1543
01:43:16.260 --> 01:43:17.700
so we're in touch once in a while

1544
01:43:17.700 --> 01:43:20.580
because he's just helping me out with some career stuff.

1545
01:43:20.580 --> 01:43:23.460
But I just, yeah, I just wondered,

1546
01:43:23.640 --> 01:43:25.900
so I think my question had been how to drop the hanky

1547
01:43:26.620 --> 01:43:28.720
because I'm not sure-

1548
01:43:28.720 --> 01:43:30.380
So you were introduced to this person by who?

1549
01:43:30.960 --> 01:43:31.960
By my sister.

1550
01:43:32.520 --> 01:43:32.980
Okay.

1551
01:43:32.980 --> 01:43:33.340
Yeah.

1552
01:43:33.340 --> 01:43:34.420
Can you tell your sister, be like,

1553
01:43:34.460 --> 01:43:35.840
does your sister know you're in this group?

1554
01:43:37.700 --> 01:43:38.620
No, not yet.

1555
01:43:38.680 --> 01:43:40.100
No, I haven't mentioned her.

1556
01:43:40.160 --> 01:43:41.820
Are you comfortable telling your sister

1557
01:43:41.960 --> 01:43:43.040
that you're in this group?

1558
01:43:43.460 --> 01:43:43.720
Yeah.

1559
01:43:43.720 --> 01:43:45.100
Okay, I would say, hey, sis.

1560
01:43:46.620 --> 01:43:49.460
So, you know, when you were introducing me to,

1561
01:43:49.980 --> 01:43:50.980
what's this guy's name?

1562
01:43:51.060 --> 01:43:52.580
If you want to give me his name.

1563
01:43:54.280 --> 01:43:54.860
He's-

1564
01:43:54.860 --> 01:43:55.420
Or you can just say K.

1565
01:43:55.420 --> 01:43:57.080
I'll just give you, it's just K.

1566
01:43:57.240 --> 01:43:57.900
I'll just call him K.

1567
01:43:58.500 --> 01:44:00.660
So yeah, sis, so you know,

1568
01:44:00.660 --> 01:44:01.940
when you were introducing me to K,

1569
01:44:02.520 --> 01:44:04.940
like I kind of was like in this,

1570
01:44:05.120 --> 01:44:05.860
well, I'm not kind of,

1571
01:44:05.900 --> 01:44:08.060
I was in this program and I was not allowed to be dating.

1572
01:44:08.200 --> 01:44:11.080
And so I was probably really standoffish to him,

1573
01:44:11.340 --> 01:44:14.380
but now I'm cleared to actually be dating

1574
01:44:14.600 --> 01:44:18.140
and I'm actually on this seven day challenge.

1575
01:44:18.940 --> 01:44:21.140
And so I really like,

1576
01:44:21.380 --> 01:44:23.500
we're in contact and he's helping me out,

1577
01:44:24.340 --> 01:44:29.680
but I would really like to have him take me on a date.

1578
01:44:29.740 --> 01:44:31.260
Does she know him?

1579
01:44:32.220 --> 01:44:33.640
Yes, yes, she does.

1580
01:44:34.140 --> 01:44:35.760
So the thing is we-

1581
01:44:35.760 --> 01:44:37.180
Yeah, girl, you gonna get your sister

1582
01:44:37.180 --> 01:44:41.560
to do some espionage work right now.

1583
01:44:41.940 --> 01:44:45.580
She gonna go see what she can find out for you.

1584
01:44:45.640 --> 01:44:47.140
She did tell me a bit actually.

1585
01:44:47.140 --> 01:44:49.620
So he's been recently divorced

1586
01:44:50.320 --> 01:44:53.840
and so, but I'm not sure what phase of healing,

1587
01:44:53.940 --> 01:44:55.380
if I'm gonna put it that way, he's at.

1588
01:44:55.620 --> 01:44:58.000
And you're not supposed to know, okay?

1589
01:44:58.060 --> 01:44:58.620
Oh, okay.

1590
01:44:58.680 --> 01:44:59.780
You're still level one.

1591
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:06.040
supposed to know and it's okay all right because again you're not looking at him like is this my

1592
01:45:06.040 --> 01:45:13.600
spirit mate is this my husband you're just getting to know him all right level one easy breezy so

1593
01:45:13.600 --> 01:45:22.760
yeah i mean does your sister know if he's open to dating or where he like um i don't know i'll

1594
01:45:22.760 --> 01:45:27.080
have to check with her on that one yeah hey look i i'm interested in this guy i was really

1595
01:45:27.080 --> 01:45:34.080
standoffish to him um but i do think i want to get to know him and go out on a date i

1596
01:45:34.580 --> 01:45:39.240
wanted i wanted to let him know that i'm interested but now i'm i'm a little bit shy

1597
01:45:39.860 --> 01:45:47.680
yeah so what do i do sis help me give me some info see what you can dig up like is he interested

1598
01:45:47.680 --> 01:45:55.500
or not yeah she could even go say hey like how are things going with my sis like she was really

1599
01:45:55.500 --> 01:46:02.840
like enjoying your company or like really appreciates you and um i'm i'm like have you

1600
01:46:02.840 --> 01:46:10.280
asked her out on a date yet she could be a is she an older sister uh no she's a couple years

1601
01:46:10.280 --> 01:46:16.600
younger but that that's so hard though she wouldn't be able to say all that um and um and

1602
01:46:16.600 --> 01:46:21.080
but they're in a different city so that makes it a little bit tricky but still it's it's it's not

1603
01:46:21.080 --> 01:46:25.700
far from here anyway no it is a bit far but anyway yeah well i want you and your sister to

1604
01:46:25.700 --> 01:46:32.420
get creative i want y'all to like get creative ladies we're we're the creative creatures here

1605
01:46:32.880 --> 01:46:43.880
we are all right we know how to get crafty with uh with dropping the hanky so you you you know

1606
01:46:43.880 --> 01:46:49.500
this guy a little bit you guys have been chatting you weren't dating you were kind of standoffish

1607
01:46:49.500 --> 01:46:57.020
because you knew you weren't allowed to date um and so is there any flirting happening

1608
01:46:58.260 --> 01:47:02.740
uh no that's the thing because because i that's probably going to tie into my next question is i

1609
01:47:02.740 --> 01:47:09.640
find myself blocking flirting which is so annoying so why do you think you're blocking flirting i

1610
01:47:09.640 --> 01:47:16.820
don't know i think it's more um i i think maybe it's a transitioning out again or maybe of that

1611
01:47:16.820 --> 01:47:21.300
work thing so i was in a relationship last year which didn't really work out and i really wanted

1612
01:47:21.580 --> 01:47:27.340
to pray and and see what it is that went wrong so that i don't repeat it and that's how you know in

1613
01:47:27.340 --> 01:47:30.720
fact indeed i believe this is also a divine appointment coming across last year single

1614
01:47:31.180 --> 01:47:36.800
and so um and yeah and so now that i've worked through that i i kind of um i guess maybe i find

1615
01:47:36.800 --> 01:47:41.500
that as a way of protecting my heart but probably not doing it in the right way um yeah and so it's

1616
01:47:41.500 --> 01:47:49.220
learning how to start to get out there again um yeah and yeah so megan this is i'm gonna can i

1617
01:47:49.220 --> 01:47:56.220
give you something that i i often activate you ladies in i'll activate often the ladies here

1618
01:47:56.220 --> 01:48:01.120
in phase two when you're just out and about just make eye contact and smile with guys

1619
01:48:01.780 --> 01:48:09.460
guys i mean just make eye contact and smile that's it okay get comfortable there

1620
01:48:10.180 --> 01:48:19.160
hmm that will kind of help loosen that up okay any anybody okay old young whatever just

1621
01:48:19.160 --> 01:48:25.620
make eye contact it doesn't even have to be men like just be engaging be present

1622
01:48:25.620 --> 01:48:34.780
be making like smile with your eyes make contact be just be present

1623
01:48:35.900 --> 01:48:42.700
and be open be inviting when you start smiling and making eye contact with people you'll you

1624
01:48:42.700 --> 01:48:48.620
will see how how people will receive you so well and they will be very open and drawn to you

1625
01:48:49.200 --> 01:48:55.180
and it will feel so natural like ladies all of you practice that

1626
01:48:57.920 --> 01:49:03.560
okay and let me know how that feels let me know what happens this week with that

1627
01:49:04.520 --> 01:49:09.400
and then we can kind of dive into what this flirting could look like now do you see this guy

1628
01:49:11.620 --> 01:49:19.140
on occasion are you just messaging calling what what's that look like uh just messaging and it's

1629
01:49:19.140 --> 01:49:26.220
just it's very occasional at the moment so not that not that frequent so yeah does he live close

1630
01:49:26.220 --> 01:49:33.820
to you no because he lives in the same town as my sister so um yeah so but it's are you

1631
01:49:33.960 --> 01:49:42.060
like how far away is that uh it's about an hour flight so to speak yeah yeah so i mean in

1632
01:49:42.060 --> 01:49:49.220
australia that's pretty close so yeah oh for sure um are you going to be visiting her anytime soon

1633
01:49:51.140 --> 01:49:58.320
um there'll be not at the moment uh but there's always i can always create a reason to go or to

1634
01:49:58.320 --> 01:49:59.980
come there well that's what i was gonna say like

1635
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.680
Yeah, I was thinking of, uh, my sister and I were talking and I think I might be

1636
01:50:05.680 --> 01:50:07.180
heading out there in a couple of weeks.

1637
01:50:09.180 --> 01:50:10.880
Um, are you available?

1638
01:50:11.400 --> 01:50:13.760
I would love to meet you for coffee.

1639
01:50:14.900 --> 01:50:16.600
Would you be interested in that?

1640
01:50:18.540 --> 01:50:19.020
Okay.

1641
01:50:19.200 --> 01:50:20.320
Just throw it out there.

1642
01:50:22.840 --> 01:50:24.160
Get to know a little more.

1643
01:50:24.360 --> 01:50:24.840
Yeah.

1644
01:50:25.580 --> 01:50:26.060
Yeah.

1645
01:50:26.080 --> 01:50:26.560
Okay.

1646
01:50:26.780 --> 01:50:27.980
See how that goes.

1647
01:50:28.920 --> 01:50:29.400
Cool.

1648
01:50:29.400 --> 01:50:31.260
You're not going to be able to do a whole lot of flirting

1649
01:50:31.260 --> 01:50:32.320
if you're just messaging.

1650
01:50:33.680 --> 01:50:33.680


1651
01:50:35.060 --> 01:50:39.620
So, yeah, I say, go see your sister.

1652
01:50:39.720 --> 01:50:40.720
Cause here's the thing.

1653
01:50:42.180 --> 01:50:46.300
If things don't work out with Kay, then you still good.

1654
01:50:46.300 --> 01:50:47.540
Get to see your sister.

1655
01:50:48.420 --> 01:50:48.900
Yes.

1656
01:50:48.920 --> 01:50:49.400
Yeah.

1657
01:50:49.400 --> 01:50:50.920
It's not a waste of a trip.

1658
01:50:52.020 --> 01:50:52.020


1659
01:50:52.280 --> 01:50:52.760
Yeah.

1660
01:50:52.760 --> 01:50:58.840
And so you can just say, Hey, like, you know, I, I was thinking about seeing my

1661
01:50:58.980 --> 01:50:59.800
sister in a couple of weeks.

1662
01:51:00.200 --> 01:51:03.180
Are you free anytime in the next week or two?

1663
01:51:05.520 --> 01:51:06.260
Love to hang out.

1664
01:51:06.440 --> 01:51:06.500
Love.

1665
01:51:06.660 --> 01:51:09.620
I mean, is there things to do in her area?

1666
01:51:12.340 --> 01:51:13.240
Uh, yeah.

1667
01:51:13.340 --> 01:51:13.680
Yeah.

1668
01:51:13.680 --> 01:51:17.060
I think that even just visiting high is good enough reason.

1669
01:51:18.200 --> 01:51:20.720
That you'd be interested in going and seeing if he'd be interested

1670
01:51:20.720 --> 01:51:22.400
in checking it out with you.

1671
01:51:22.520 --> 01:51:23.000
Oh yeah.

1672
01:51:23.540 --> 01:51:24.020
Yeah.

1673
01:51:24.440 --> 01:51:24.900
Yeah.

1674
01:51:25.040 --> 01:51:25.700
No, absolutely.

1675
01:51:25.700 --> 01:51:29.200
And they run, they, they're part of a hiking group, which I love to do.

1676
01:51:29.400 --> 01:51:33.340
So even just joining that group, I was going to say, if you're going to go

1677
01:51:33.340 --> 01:51:39.060
visit your sister, say, Hey, um, find out when y'all are hiking, find out when

1678
01:51:39.060 --> 01:51:45.620
he's hiking and invite, like, let's get him to come and just like, Oh, I

1679
01:51:45.620 --> 01:51:47.300
didn't know you were going to be here.

1680
01:51:51.620 --> 01:51:52.100
Yeah.

1681
01:51:52.940 --> 01:51:53.420
Yeah.

1682
01:51:53.420 --> 01:51:56.740
No, that's so, and then, yeah, come back and update us.

1683
01:51:56.880 --> 01:51:59.420
Let us know, let us know what happens, but yeah.

1684
01:52:00.580 --> 01:52:07.480
So go out, smile at people, smile, make eye contact, strike up conversation.

1685
01:52:08.420 --> 01:52:10.340
You know, is it cold there?

1686
01:52:10.340 --> 01:52:11.600
It's warm there, isn't it?

1687
01:52:11.640 --> 01:52:12.620
It's getting warmer.

1688
01:52:13.020 --> 01:52:13.020


1689
01:52:13.040 --> 01:52:15.040
So it's pretty opposite of us, right?

1690
01:52:15.180 --> 01:52:15.660
Yeah.

1691
01:52:15.660 --> 01:52:16.040
Yeah.

1692
01:52:16.060 --> 01:52:18.180
So y'all are about to have like the good weather.

1693
01:52:18.620 --> 01:52:19.100
Yeah.

1694
01:52:19.100 --> 01:52:22.480
We're about to have some summer holidays, so it's really going to be, um,

1695
01:52:22.480 --> 01:52:26.880
so now it's like, get out about the walking, like people walk their dogs,

1696
01:52:27.100 --> 01:52:30.700
all that stuff, go have, you know, do all the outside activities.

1697
01:52:31.300 --> 01:52:31.740
Yeah.

1698
01:52:31.820 --> 01:52:32.260
Yeah.

1699
01:52:32.260 --> 01:52:33.960
So that would be, that would be fun.

1700
01:52:33.980 --> 01:52:34.260
Yeah.

1701
01:52:34.260 --> 01:52:36.400
And just another quick, a quick one as well.

1702
01:52:36.920 --> 01:52:41.520
Um, so then also at church, um, there's another, um, so this is a

1703
01:52:41.520 --> 01:52:43.980
slightly different scenario, but also to do with flirting, I guess.

1704
01:52:44.720 --> 01:52:47.960
Um, so there's a really cute guy who I'd noticed, and I noticed he also noticed

1705
01:52:48.300 --> 01:52:52.280
me and last Sunday I got the opportunity to, I don't know, we just happened to be

1706
01:52:52.280 --> 01:52:56.860
in the same coffee line and we just got to speak and then he got to the point of,

1707
01:52:57.280 --> 01:52:59.340
um, I realized, I said, realized that, you know what, he's actually

1708
01:52:59.340 --> 01:53:00.560
about to ask me for my number.

1709
01:53:00.720 --> 01:53:03.100
And I know that would ordinarily should make me very

1710
01:53:03.100 --> 01:53:04.820
excited, stay in the conversation.

1711
01:53:05.300 --> 01:53:11.140
But I freaked out and I found myself saying, oh, I'll see you very soon.

1712
01:53:11.260 --> 01:53:14.200
And then he's, cause it's a, it's a multi-generational church.

1713
01:53:14.220 --> 01:53:17.860
His dad happened to come around that time when I could see he was really

1714
01:53:17.860 --> 01:53:20.900
getting to, you know, really getting into invested in the conversation.

1715
01:53:20.900 --> 01:53:25.100
And then I, I just freaked out and I just left and, um, and I felt, I

1716
01:53:25.280 --> 01:53:28.980
just kicked myself mentally about why did I check myself out of that?

1717
01:53:29.000 --> 01:53:33.120
But again, I don't know if that's just a reaction of, of having, you know,

1718
01:53:33.120 --> 01:53:37.060
like I said, this may be over protectiveness of my heart or, or

1719
01:53:37.060 --> 01:53:39.760
trying to come back into, yeah, into this space.

1720
01:53:39.780 --> 01:53:40.480
Anyway, I don't know.

1721
01:53:40.480 --> 01:53:41.280
I just freaked out.

1722
01:53:41.360 --> 01:53:44.340
So the good news is I'll get to see him again, obviously.

1723
01:53:44.540 --> 01:53:45.140
Cause it goes,

1724
01:53:46.880 --> 01:53:48.440
I do like that.

1725
01:53:48.440 --> 01:53:50.260
So, um, so I'm wondering if you're thinking to yourself like, okay,

1726
01:53:50.840 --> 01:53:52.800
like, why am I freaking out?

1727
01:53:53.080 --> 01:53:56.340
So let's do what, what you, we did with Mackenzie.

1728
01:53:57.800 --> 01:53:58.240
Yeah.

1729
01:53:58.520 --> 01:53:59.600
What's the thought?

1730
01:53:59.640 --> 01:54:00.900
Like, what are you freaking out?

1731
01:54:00.940 --> 01:54:02.820
Like what's, what's the freak out thought?

1732
01:54:05.620 --> 01:54:10.100
Um, so, so I guess my presumption as I mentioned, maybe it was just that he

1733
01:54:10.100 --> 01:54:11.800
was going to ask for my number.

1734
01:54:13.140 --> 01:54:15.460
Um, and, and that would have been a good thing.

1735
01:54:15.460 --> 01:54:20.780
So I don't even know why scared you about, did you feel scared that he was

1736
01:54:20.780 --> 01:54:22.160
going to ask you about your number?

1737
01:54:22.420 --> 01:54:23.520
Yes, I did.

1738
01:54:23.640 --> 01:54:24.100
Okay.

1739
01:54:24.100 --> 01:54:27.760
What scares you about somebody asking for your number?

1740
01:54:30.820 --> 01:54:32.460
Um, yeah, I don't know.

1741
01:54:32.620 --> 01:54:35.100
I can't, I can't think of anything.

1742
01:54:35.940 --> 01:54:40.220
What is that same feeling of being scared about somebody asking your number?

1743
01:54:40.560 --> 01:54:42.540
When have you felt that way before?

1744
01:54:50.240 --> 01:54:52.300
Oh, yeah, I'm not sure.

1745
01:54:52.440 --> 01:54:59.060
And I think specific comes to mind that, um, yeah, I don't know.

1746
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:03.960
time with that. And again, like when these questions when I ask

1747
01:55:03.880 --> 01:55:08.240
questions, sometimes you might not have something come up right

1748
01:55:08.240 --> 01:55:12.680
away. And that's okay. And that just might mean you just need to

1749
01:55:12.680 --> 01:55:16.780
sit with a little more and think about like, Okay, what is that

1750
01:55:16.720 --> 01:55:22.700
feeling? What? What am I scared about? What about asking for my

1751
01:55:22.700 --> 01:55:27.140
number would be scary? Why would it feel like this? What would

1752
01:55:27.140 --> 01:55:30.720
that feeling of being scared about something like that? What?

1753
01:55:31.800 --> 01:55:37.160
What would that be similar to? You know, you can ask yourself,

1754
01:55:37.160 --> 01:55:44.800
Am I scared that he's gonna ask and he's gonna call me and I'm

1755
01:55:44.800 --> 01:55:49.260
not gonna like him? Or I'm gonna feel obligated to like him? Am I

1756
01:55:49.260 --> 01:55:52.220
gonna feel like he asked me and I'm not sure I feel about him.

1757
01:55:52.220 --> 01:55:56.400
And then I'm gonna feel like I have to put all this energy to

1758
01:55:56.400 --> 01:56:01.580
somebody that I don't know how I have to feel. Things like, or

1759
01:56:01.580 --> 01:56:07.240
am I afraid to like him? And then he finds out that he

1760
01:56:07.240 --> 01:56:14.680
doesn't really like me and then I get hurt. Yeah. Like start

1761
01:56:14.680 --> 01:56:18.880
asking like, what about him asking for my number would make

1762
01:56:18.880 --> 01:56:23.520
me really scared? What am I worried about something that

1763
01:56:23.520 --> 01:56:25.320
will happen afterwards?

1764
01:56:26.080 --> 01:56:30.360
Yeah, I think I think I've got something brief. I think it's

1765
01:56:30.420 --> 01:56:34.840
disappointment. Okay. And it's fearing to lose something good.

1766
01:56:35.140 --> 01:56:37.780
Like, not lose something good. But maybe once because you know,

1767
01:56:37.820 --> 01:56:42.980
once you start to, like, if get the number go out, it's

1768
01:56:42.980 --> 01:56:47.160
disappointing. I think it's more like, Oh, then I can't. Then it

1769
01:56:47.160 --> 01:56:51.260
becomes awkward. Put it that way. So I think I may be

1770
01:56:51.260 --> 01:56:54.680
thinking of the negative side as opposed to Yeah, so you're

1771
01:56:54.680 --> 01:56:56.620
like, Okay, I'm gonna lose something good or it's gonna

1772
01:56:56.620 --> 01:57:00.060
feel awkward. Okay, so I got a couple things that I'm

1773
01:57:00.060 --> 01:57:05.320
wondering, I kind of feel like it's I'm split two ways. One is

1774
01:57:07.500 --> 01:57:10.620
did you ever feel like you had something good and then it

1775
01:57:10.700 --> 01:57:20.660
slipped away? Or where something was good? It got

1776
01:57:20.680 --> 01:57:29.500
awkward and then somebody left or like, is there something that

1777
01:57:29.500 --> 01:57:32.760
happened very similar to either of those scenarios or something

1778
01:57:32.760 --> 01:57:35.240
that could be tied to kind of what you were just describing

1779
01:57:35.240 --> 01:57:35.720
there?

1780
01:57:36.500 --> 01:57:39.360
Yeah, I think the second part, the second part, they

1781
01:57:39.360 --> 01:57:44.640
seemed good. And then it got awkward. I mean, we managed to

1782
01:57:44.640 --> 01:57:47.260
resolve it in the end. But yeah, there was there was a situation

1783
01:57:47.260 --> 01:57:48.220
like that. Yes.

1784
01:57:48.340 --> 01:57:53.040
Okay, so yeah, I would start, you know, start processing that

1785
01:57:53.660 --> 01:57:57.860
situation a little bit and figure out what is the what's

1786
01:57:57.860 --> 01:58:08.560
the core belief that's that that fear is rooted in. So what the

1787
01:58:08.560 --> 01:58:12.840
fear is rooted in what core belief based on that situation?

1788
01:58:15.280 --> 01:58:21.920
And most likely is it's going to be a lie. Yeah. Okay. And then

1789
01:58:21.920 --> 01:58:25.600
it's going to be like, let's call that lie out. And let's

1790
01:58:25.600 --> 01:58:31.980
replace it with what is the truth? Is that really true? No,

1791
01:58:31.980 --> 01:58:36.780
it probably isn't because it's a lie. Yeah. And we want to know

1792
01:58:36.780 --> 01:58:41.140
Okay, God, but what is true? What is true about me? What is

1793
01:58:41.140 --> 01:58:43.700
true about that situation? What was true about that person? What

1794
01:58:43.700 --> 01:58:49.200
was true about that situation? Yeah. And this isn't the same. I

1795
01:58:49.200 --> 01:58:51.100
don't need to be afraid if someone's going to ask me the

1796
01:58:51.100 --> 01:58:54.640
number and not my number. Because these aren't the same

1797
01:58:55.100 --> 01:59:00.460
situations. And even if it were, I was believing a lie back then

1798
01:59:00.460 --> 01:59:04.140
and I'm not believing the lie anymore. Good. Because I'm

1799
01:59:04.220 --> 01:59:08.400
holding on to God's truth. And this is what it is. Does that

1800
01:59:08.500 --> 01:59:12.540
help? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. Yeah. All right,

1801
01:59:12.580 --> 01:59:15.600
ladies. Thank you so much for your patience. Thanks for your

1802
01:59:15.600 --> 01:59:19.980
time and for like sticking it out with me. Like you said, if

1803
01:59:19.980 --> 01:59:25.160
you did not get to share, keep me posted in the app. And I will

1804
01:59:25.220 --> 01:59:29.760
see you all next week. Okay, ladies. Talk to you later.