WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.600 --> 00:00:08.960 All right, welcome to men's heart check in. And this is what November 24 week of Thanksgiving. 2 00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:12.860 So, good to have you guys on here. 3 00:00:13.820 --> 00:00:27.000 How many of you were on supernatural Saturday a couple days ago, or listen to it and replay anybody. I did. I was David. 4 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:32.880 Who else. I was on. I was on to Dave right. 5 00:00:34.180 --> 00:00:41.620 Josh, were you there. No, no I was not. I was not but I walked by listen to it, you listen to replay. Okay. 6 00:00:42.180 --> 00:00:52.600 I kind of, I kind of want to pick up on that and talk a little bit tonight about, I'm not going to talk I want you guys to talk. So I want you to think of 7 00:00:54.660 --> 00:01:01.720 specifically of like the kazaza moment. 8 00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:11.420 So in the supernatural Saturday Jackie picks up on the, the story of the prodigal son. 9 00:01:11.900 --> 00:01:17.520 We all are familiar with this story, if you are not familiar with it I'd be shocked. 10 00:01:18.800 --> 00:01:36.560 So I'm just going to assume most of you guys have heard the story at least once, probably if not 100 times, you're somewhat familiar with the prodigal son who left home, who left, wanting the inheritance and took the inheritance. 11 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:49.960 Albeit, I think the understanding is, and is told in the story that the sun is prematurely taking the inheritance, as would a young man 12 00:01:52.360 --> 00:01:55.040 would if he's taking an inheritance at all. 13 00:01:55.940 --> 00:02:06.960 He's usually taking it prematurely and prematurely in the sense that he's not ready to steward the actual inheritance, as it is. 14 00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:13.960 And so he takes the inheritance, he demands the inheritance of his father's father gives it to him. 15 00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:23.480 And then he goes out and just lives life on to his own way in his own reason his own accord. 16 00:02:23.480 --> 00:02:38.220 He so much so is the party dude that he pretty much finances not only his life of indulgence, but probably everyone around him to the point where he expends it all. 17 00:02:38.220 --> 00:02:50.620 Who knows how long the time that took or what that process looked like. But we all can imagine what that might have been like so much so that he ends up in the hog pen, he ends up. 18 00:02:51.100 --> 00:03:00.340 And I don't know if you've ever visited a farm or ever did anybody have experience with like hog farming pig farming farm life at all. 19 00:03:00.640 --> 00:03:02.980 Yeah, it smells terrible. Yeah. 20 00:03:03.400 --> 00:03:04.980 It's a horrible job. 21 00:03:04.980 --> 00:03:14.900 Yeah, I can. I've smelled it. I've been around it. I don't have any long time experience with it. But I can imagine, you can say that again need anything. 22 00:03:14.900 --> 00:03:15.380 Yeah. 23 00:03:16.380 --> 00:03:35.180 So this is the understanding so he finds himself, and he comes to himself, he comes to his senses, if you will, in this environment, he's not even working to tend the hogs he's literally just in the hog pen with them. 24 00:03:35.180 --> 00:03:45.200 He's not even like I just I'm so low that I'm working at a farm no no he's not even working there he just like has nothing and finds himself living, you know, in this squalor. 25 00:03:46.140 --> 00:03:58.420 And he has this thought that I should just go back to my father and at the very least I could just be a servant in the house of my father. 26 00:03:58.420 --> 00:04:14.180 So he goes home with this thought that I could just at least be a servant in the house of my father, because it was understood that if you did what this young man did. 27 00:04:14.180 --> 00:04:30.540 It was understood you were never going to be accepted back into the family, you had betrayed the family you had squandered it, you had done everything wrong, and so much so that you had ruined any chances of any further inheritance or further 28 00:04:30.540 --> 00:04:47.680 inheritance of any involvement with the family or and even if you did show your face back in the community. There was a ritual that was performed in as Jewish custom would be when you came back to the house the household. 29 00:04:47.880 --> 00:04:51.020 There was a village associated with this household. 30 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:57.620 It was not as so there was a community is like be you and going back to your hometown. 31 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:07.100 the community would meet you at the edge of the property, at the edge, at the city limits, 32 00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:14.420 if you will. And they would take a clay pot and they would throw that pot at your feet on the 33 00:05:14.280 --> 00:05:22.160 ground. And the custom, the breaking of the pot symbolized the fact that what you have done 34 00:05:22.620 --> 00:05:29.280 was you have broken what cannot be put back together. And you have been kazazad, that's 35 00:05:29.280 --> 00:05:38.660 the Jewish term, kazazad or kazaza. And you have been notified by the community that you can never 36 00:05:38.660 --> 00:05:45.960 repay, you can never repair, you can never come back into as you were, once were, because of what 37 00:05:45.960 --> 00:05:52.720 you have done. And you have been ostracized and excommunicated and so forth, and you are not 38 00:05:52.930 --> 00:06:00.870 welcome here. So we all understand this part of the story, but you may not have realized this was the 39 00:06:00.870 --> 00:06:07.850 tradition of the Jews to do this to someone who had behaved in the way that this young man had 40 00:06:08.290 --> 00:06:13.610 behaved. And it was interesting because the story kind of leaves out that tradition, but you have 41 00:06:13.610 --> 00:06:20.530 to understand Jesus was talking to Jewish people and telling this parable. So every single one of 42 00:06:20.530 --> 00:06:27.750 them would have already known what the custom was in order to behave, in order to respond as a community 43 00:06:27.850 --> 00:06:33.150 to this young man and what should have happened to him according to custom. So you're following 44 00:06:33.150 --> 00:06:40.530 everything that's happening right here, right? So, but that's not what happened when this young man 45 00:06:40.550 --> 00:06:46.350 actually comes to himself because the scripture says he came home and it says that the father, 46 00:06:46.990 --> 00:06:55.750 seeing him afar off, seeing him from a distance, begins to run out to him to meet him. 47 00:06:57.690 --> 00:07:05.250 This kazazah situation brings new meaning to the understanding of why the father would run 48 00:07:05.250 --> 00:07:11.450 to the son. And if you were listening on Supernatural Saturday, you would have understood, 49 00:07:11.450 --> 00:07:17.910 and if you're not there, it's not a big deal. But it was interesting that the father, 50 00:07:18.630 --> 00:07:23.770 who was a father of the faith, he was a father of the household, he was a father, he was an elder 51 00:07:24.090 --> 00:07:34.790 in the town. He was a statesman of sort, he was wealthy. He himself would have never, 52 00:07:34.790 --> 00:07:43.190 a man of that age and of that status would have never found anybody like that running. 53 00:07:44.530 --> 00:07:51.550 He would not run, he would not deign himself to lift up his robe to run after and go after. He 54 00:07:51.550 --> 00:07:55.710 would be, people would run to him, people would come to him, people would seek permission from 55 00:07:55.710 --> 00:08:04.750 him, people would seek wealth from him, people would seek out the elders and the fathers of the 56 00:08:04.750 --> 00:08:12.850 town. He ran to meet his son. Why? He ran to meet his son so that he could stop, 57 00:08:14.450 --> 00:08:19.790 he could, before the townspeople could come together, because word travels fast, 58 00:08:21.590 --> 00:08:29.930 before he could kazazah his son, he declared what was going to happen to his son and it received him, 59 00:08:29.930 --> 00:08:38.950 therefore putting aside the situation of the shame. So he disallowed the shame 60 00:08:39.090 --> 00:08:43.630 because the father was present at the moment the son entered into the premises. 61 00:08:45.470 --> 00:08:52.270 Such a powerful, powerful story. And why does Jesus tell the story in this way? 62 00:08:53.230 --> 00:09:00.970 He tells us because he says this is the way the kingdom is. This is what happens 63 00:09:01.490 --> 00:09:07.670 and we have all gone astray. We all being sons and daughters of God, but sons on this call, 64 00:09:08.490 --> 00:09:18.590 we all have squandered our life. We all have fallen short. We all have made up our own mind 65 00:09:18.590 --> 00:09:22.570 and decided that this was better. This was what we wanted to do. This was the way. 66 00:09:23.410 --> 00:09:29.210 And even if you haven't felt like, well, I haven't been irresponsible and I haven't been 67 00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:34.910 someone who has disobeyed and I didn't treat my parents wrong and I haven't, 68 00:09:35.450 --> 00:09:42.270 oh, we have all in the way of sinfulness and the way of living life to our own 69 00:09:43.270 --> 00:09:50.850 understanding, in our own way, have fallen short of this household of faith. 70 00:09:52.650 --> 00:09:59.790 And God, when we are in the moment of coming back to him, God runs 71 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:11.620 us. He is eager to move towards us and move towards us fast in order to remove 72 00:10:11.620 --> 00:10:22.720 any element of shame, any element of wrongdoing, and puts upon us a cloak, 73 00:10:24.100 --> 00:10:33.480 restores our status, receives us in, receives us in with a hug and an embrace 74 00:10:33.480 --> 00:10:41.520 and a kiss, and then also restores us as in our sonship. 75 00:10:45.040 --> 00:10:53.700 And like, it's mind boggling to think about the application of this in everyday life, 76 00:10:54.840 --> 00:11:02.560 in your life. Now what I want to explore tonight, I want to hear back from you guys is what 77 00:11:02.560 --> 00:11:09.080 are some of the areas, and let's just focus on one, let's focus on one situation or one 78 00:11:09.080 --> 00:11:20.380 thing that you have felt has been keeping you from the fullness of the sonship of God 79 00:11:20.380 --> 00:11:26.740 in your life. Is there an area in your life? Is there a situation? Is there a relationship? 80 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:37.720 Is there a circumstance where you have felt kazaza? Maybe you have even done it to yourself 81 00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:47.240 that you have said, I'm not worthy. I am not able to come into the fullness of what I think 82 00:11:48.560 --> 00:11:59.480 is supposed to be happening here. I feel like a lot of men, especially, live in the shadows 83 00:11:59.480 --> 00:12:11.080 of what could be, what maybe might be, what is possible, but just not for them. 84 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:22.460 Does that make sense? Where you feel like I see others, I see examples, I even see and entertain 85 00:12:22.460 --> 00:12:30.320 invitations and receive others telling me something that I want to hear, but I just 86 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:40.280 can't bring myself to receive it, believe it, accept it, and so forth. So what are some things, 87 00:12:40.820 --> 00:12:45.420 guys? What's maybe even one thing, maybe it's a situation, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a 88 00:12:45.710 --> 00:12:52.290 something happened one time, maybe it's a behavior, maybe it's something you feel like, 89 00:12:52.490 --> 00:12:55.550 oh, there's something wrong with me and I figured it out, this is what's wrong with me and I can't 90 00:12:55.550 --> 00:13:03.370 get beyond this, whatever it is. What is something tonight, guys, that you feel like is holding you 91 00:13:05.110 --> 00:13:13.010 back? I think for me, it's my messy house and just having a messy house, but also I have too much 92 00:13:13.010 --> 00:13:19.350 stuff. So I just like, I like acquiring things, whatever, but like- You feel like it's holding 93 00:13:19.350 --> 00:13:27.730 you back in what way, David? I think in the way of just like being free, like I want the Holy 94 00:13:27.730 --> 00:13:32.090 Spirit or the Lord just to come and be able to enter into my home and not feel like there's 95 00:13:32.090 --> 00:13:38.210 stuff everywhere, and so I made a business plan just to downsize and getting rid of everything. 96 00:13:39.010 --> 00:13:42.150 You think the Holy Spirit is offended by the stuff that's in your home? 97 00:13:43.430 --> 00:13:50.750 I think the mess, maybe I'm wrong, but like- I'm asking because I want to understand why you feel 98 00:13:50.750 --> 00:13:56.270 like, you feel like this is holding you back in a sense of like hosting the presence of the Lord, 99 00:13:56.270 --> 00:14:02.770 or do you feel this is holding you back because you're attached to these items and therefore 100 00:14:02.770 --> 00:14:07.490 your focus is on them and not what you think it should be? I'm just trying to 101 00:14:08.110 --> 00:14:13.010 pinpoint exactly what you're saying there. Yeah, those are all great questions. I think 102 00:14:13.010 --> 00:14:18.490 on the one hand, I think it's holding me back because what if the Lord even brought my spirit 103 00:14:18.490 --> 00:14:23.250 right to my front door? Would I be able to let her in and sit down and have a cup of tea? No, 104 00:14:24.030 --> 00:14:27.010 right? It's holding you back because it's not being ready. 105 00:14:27.810 --> 00:14:32.150 Yeah, and then also holding me back because it's, you're right, like I think for some of 106 00:14:32.150 --> 00:14:36.470 this stuff, it's definitely become an idol in my life. And I'm like, you know, it's like, 107 00:14:36.650 --> 00:14:42.370 what's God? Is God like this, the little, you know, Rolex watch in a box or is God, God, 108 00:14:43.050 --> 00:14:47.030 you know? And so, and I think to my relationships with people as well was holding me back. 109 00:14:47.430 --> 00:14:52.110 On Sunday, the Lord woke me up and said, I slept through all my alarms. And he said, 110 00:14:52.110 --> 00:14:56.010 you're going to this one church. And I did not want to go there because one time in a prayer 111 00:14:56.010 --> 00:14:59.210 meeting, the guy said, don't come back. And I didn't say anything in the prayer meeting. He 112 00:14:59.210 --> 00:14:59.970 said, you know, Holy Spirit. 113 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.060 He said, you're not welcome here. 114 00:15:01.500 --> 00:15:03.580 And the Lord said, you're going back to that church today. 115 00:15:03.900 --> 00:15:04.860 So I did. 116 00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:06.020 I went back. 117 00:15:06.220 --> 00:15:10.560 And then during the sermon, the Lord said, you have not been kazazod. 118 00:15:11.620 --> 00:15:13.960 I want you to tell the pastor what happened. 119 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:17.560 And I told him, and the pastor, and the Lord said to me, when you tell the pastor what 120 00:15:17.460 --> 00:15:19.460 happened, he's going to greet you with a hug. 121 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:21.120 And he's going to apologize. 122 00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:23.140 He's going to hand you his card and saying, I'm so sorry. 123 00:15:23.400 --> 00:15:24.300 Let me take you to lunch. 124 00:15:24.880 --> 00:15:29.220 And sure enough, you know, I was leaving and I told the pastor, that's exactly what happened. 125 00:15:29.220 --> 00:15:30.400 So, yeah. 126 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:32.120 127 00:15:32.760 --> 00:15:33.440 Um, okay. 128 00:15:33.680 --> 00:15:34.820 It's thanks for sharing, Dave. 129 00:15:34.940 --> 00:15:35.920 Um, who else? 130 00:15:36.640 --> 00:15:39.160 Well, I will get back to some of these things here as well. 131 00:15:39.160 --> 00:15:41.440 And I just want to kind of hear some more. 132 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:48.680 In what ways do you feel shame? 133 00:15:48.680 --> 00:16:00.620 Um, in what ways have you been ashamed to behave in the way that is the better way or 134 00:16:00.620 --> 00:16:01.980 the more appropriate way? 135 00:16:03.540 --> 00:16:05.660 In what ways have you shamed yourself? 136 00:16:05.820 --> 00:16:10.880 Because it's like, oh, anybody. 137 00:16:14.260 --> 00:16:15.740 Well, I'll speak. 138 00:16:15.820 --> 00:16:16.360 I'm not quite sure. 139 00:16:16.360 --> 00:16:23.980 I know the full answer here, my answer to this correctly or not, but like, um, so this 140 00:16:23.980 --> 00:16:28.200 is now my fifth meeting here, right? 141 00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:29.120 With the Heart Check-In. 142 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:39.940 Um, so I think in my own upbringing, I was always felt unworthy, kind of rejected by 143 00:16:39.940 --> 00:16:41.420 my family. 144 00:16:41.680 --> 00:16:48.400 But I also, when I was young, I had a big nose and it was a source of a lot of ridicule 145 00:16:48.460 --> 00:16:49.180 for me. 146 00:16:51.580 --> 00:16:57.660 Frankly, my parents, parents actually recognized at one point, they arranged me to get a nose 147 00:16:57.660 --> 00:16:59.420 job when I was like 17. 148 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:04.960 So but prominent enough to be a source of ridicule. 149 00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:10.940 Also, internally within my own family, since I felt a lot of rejection from my parents, 150 00:17:11.060 --> 00:17:13.680 like I've just never measured up to what they wanted. 151 00:17:14.060 --> 00:17:14.940 And I was unworthy. 152 00:17:15.660 --> 00:17:23.560 So the shame, I guess, portion of this would be that sense of not being accepted, whether 153 00:17:23.560 --> 00:17:27.180 it was by my family, or the world around me. 154 00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:33.140 So when I go into kind of social situations, and it's good to have a cold tonight. 155 00:17:33.140 --> 00:17:36.260 So I'm a little bit, my voice is a little off. 156 00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:46.120 So if I go into, like social situations, I find that I'm uncomfortable, because I feel 157 00:17:46.120 --> 00:17:52.040 there's an attention on me that I don't want on me, you know, I feel like they're judging 158 00:17:52.040 --> 00:17:57.000 me, they're looking at me, and whether they're going to measure up physically, intellectually, 159 00:17:57.600 --> 00:17:59.160 you know, whichever way, right? 160 00:17:59.160 --> 00:18:04.440 So I carry that into situation, I think maybe carry that somewhat into relationship as well. 161 00:18:05.500 --> 00:18:11.040 And this is something that you still feel still affecting you even to this day, even 162 00:18:11.040 --> 00:18:15.420 though you've dealt with it, or you've dealt with a little bit, maybe gotten used to some 163 00:18:15.420 --> 00:18:17.000 of it, or not really. 164 00:18:17.320 --> 00:18:19.560 Yeah, I would say I've dealt with it a lot. 165 00:18:19.560 --> 00:18:22.860 Because in one hand, I mean, I was, it was extreme, right? 166 00:18:22.860 --> 00:18:23.420 I was very young. 167 00:18:23.820 --> 00:18:27.500 I mean, when I was, well, I should say, even in college years, I mean, I was terrified 168 00:18:27.500 --> 00:18:28.740 to stand in front of an audience. 169 00:18:29.020 --> 00:18:33.240 I could not, you know, in a corporate world, even I couldn't stand in front of an audience 170 00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:34.440 or early in my career. 171 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:38.020 I mean, I say drill with some of that, yes, I dealt with some of that. 172 00:18:38.120 --> 00:18:43.800 But sometimes I feel like some of this stuff, like, it hibernates for decades, right? 173 00:18:43.800 --> 00:18:46.080 And then it resurrects itself at some point. 174 00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:51.620 And it begins to manifest in different ways, you know, like when you were young, maybe 175 00:18:51.700 --> 00:18:57.180 it's, you know, the feature of the nose, and maybe as you got older, I don't know if this 176 00:18:57.180 --> 00:19:01.680 is true for your story, but just imagining how these things go sometimes, because maybe 177 00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:05.980 it's not so much that physical trait, but maybe it's something else, then it's just 178 00:19:05.980 --> 00:19:07.100 your general appearance. 179 00:19:07.280 --> 00:19:11.940 And then as you mature, but then you feel, it's like, okay, it's not a big deal. 180 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:12.880 It's not the nose. 181 00:19:13.160 --> 00:19:22.900 It's, you know, it's just my general appearance, general, attractive, it's, you know, am I 182 00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:26.840 handsome enough to stand in front of a crowd and lead them and whatever, you know, like, 183 00:19:26.840 --> 00:19:27.080 yeah. 184 00:19:29.520 --> 00:19:37.600 Um, I mean, I can, I can, I can sympathize with feeling sort of like misunderstood, rejected 185 00:19:37.600 --> 00:19:38.520 by my family. 186 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:46.020 I had a, you know, very loving mother, father, stepfather, and so forth, and very, it had 187 00:19:46.020 --> 00:19:47.100 all my needs met. 188 00:19:47.120 --> 00:19:52.100 But at the same time, I felt like I just always kind of felt lost. 189 00:19:52.100 --> 00:19:59.800 And I felt like, you know, I was behind, like I was misunderstood for who I was and what 190 00:19:59.800 --> 00:19:59.980 I could do. 191 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.200 do. And then I didn't feel like that was nurtured to the point 192 00:20:04.200 --> 00:20:07.480 where but there was a certain part of me that was my ability 193 00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:13.640 to do music and sing that was like a big thing that was like 194 00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:19.320 championed and and celebrated in my life in church, but that was 195 00:20:19.600 --> 00:20:25.120 it. There was like, I you know, nothing that if I wanted to be a 196 00:20:25.120 --> 00:20:28.160 singer for the rest of my life, that would have been fine. And I 197 00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:32.860 do love music. I love to sing. But at the same time, that isn't 198 00:20:32.860 --> 00:20:37.100 what I've become in my life. And there's much more about what I 199 00:20:37.100 --> 00:20:42.360 do and who I am and what I mean, to this life that I felt like 200 00:20:42.360 --> 00:20:49.120 I've had to like, really work to come into. It wasn't just taught 201 00:20:49.120 --> 00:20:52.400 to me. It wasn't shown to me. It wasn't like it wasn't like a 202 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.320 father came to me and said, you know, son, I see this in you and 203 00:20:55.320 --> 00:20:57.740 let me help you bring this out of you, you know, type thing. 204 00:20:57.740 --> 00:21:01.000 Let me show you how to be a businessman. Let me show you how 205 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:04.900 to build wealth. Let me show you how to, you know, to deal with 206 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:09.060 relationships. Let me show you how to lead in your community, 207 00:21:09.080 --> 00:21:15.820 whatever, you know. And I had two fathers. And I felt to a 208 00:21:16.500 --> 00:21:21.600 degree unfathered, in a way, as if I didn't have a father type 209 00:21:21.600 --> 00:21:26.540 thing. So I, so those are just that's just one dimension of my 210 00:21:26.540 --> 00:21:30.360 of my life. So I get what you're saying there, Bob. Thanks for 211 00:21:30.360 --> 00:21:35.260 sharing. Who else has something that, you know, what do you feel 212 00:21:35.540 --> 00:21:41.520 like as I want to say holding you back, but at the same time, 213 00:21:41.520 --> 00:21:48.800 what do you feel that there is this part of your life that is 214 00:21:49.180 --> 00:21:51.900 disqualified, maybe put it in those terms disqualifying you 215 00:21:51.900 --> 00:21:57.660 for what you should or could or want to have? Or want to? 216 00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:05.580 I would say the biggest thing that comes my way a lot is just 217 00:22:05.580 --> 00:22:11.500 the past, especially like my sexual history. And that tries 218 00:22:11.500 --> 00:22:18.380 to come in the way of it creates like this sense of shame, guilt 219 00:22:18.380 --> 00:22:27.260 or unworthiness. Also, me and Christine just got engaged last 220 00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:34.080 weekend. And thank you. And it's it's really exciting. We really 221 00:22:34.080 --> 00:22:40.280 believe the Lord is pushing for this marriage quickly, like in 222 00:22:40.280 --> 00:22:41.840 March, April timeframes, what we're thinking. 223 00:22:43.960 --> 00:22:47.840 Let me ask you this, Josh, when you say your sexual history, are 224 00:22:47.840 --> 00:22:53.300 you talking about sexual history with just in 225 00:22:53.300 --> 00:23:00.040 relationships? Or are you talking about just sexuality, 226 00:23:00.700 --> 00:23:07.200 your own behavior, your own situation? What is it? 227 00:23:08.840 --> 00:23:23.840 I've never I've never had sex with anybody. Yeah, I would say 228 00:23:23.840 --> 00:23:29.960 one aspect of death. One aspect of it definitely is maybe shame 229 00:23:30.060 --> 00:23:35.620 and sexuality itself. Like one thing and it's very interesting. 230 00:23:35.620 --> 00:23:39.760 I feel like almost like the Lord might be trying this may not. 231 00:23:39.820 --> 00:23:46.000 Well, I think what the Lord is trying to deprogram is the way 232 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:51.160 that I would try to suppress sexual feelings. Okay. And 233 00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:56.020 because that was like my fleshly way of trying to, you know, stay 234 00:23:55.860 --> 00:24:00.440 pure. Yeah. But really, what it would do is it would just 235 00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:04.520 exacerbate the issue. It wouldn't, because my eyes was on 236 00:24:04.520 --> 00:24:10.160 the thing and not on Jesus. There have been a couple of 237 00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:12.360 dreams I've actually had lately and I was telling a roommate 238 00:24:12.360 --> 00:24:17.320 about it, where I walked into this old college dormitory, a 239 00:24:17.320 --> 00:24:23.860 lot of tech and stuff around. There's this big dude that comes 240 00:24:23.860 --> 00:24:26.200 in and I'm holding a knife to him and I tell him to get out 241 00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:31.420 repeatedly and he won't get out. And almost like I feel 242 00:24:31.420 --> 00:24:35.100 threatened or like he shouldn't be here sort of thing. And then 243 00:24:35.120 --> 00:24:38.640 a couple of days later, I have a dream. I'm outside, like it's 244 00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:43.860 kind of dark tone dream, campfire that's gone out. You 245 00:24:43.860 --> 00:24:46.520 just ever had like a dark dream where it's just like, it's 246 00:24:46.520 --> 00:24:50.220 weird, like everything's dark. Right. And then I turn around 247 00:24:50.220 --> 00:24:53.420 all of a sudden I'm in my old bedroom. You ever had one of 248 00:24:53.420 --> 00:24:55.260 those dreams where you just turn around, you're in completely 249 00:24:55.260 --> 00:24:59.240 different space? Yeah. And there is this 250 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.680 Small mexican like gangster dude walks in through my bedroom door and is holding the same exact knife to me 251 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:12.360 And another dream where I run through that same bedroom door from his perspective 252 00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:14.520 And i'm running 253 00:25:15.060 --> 00:25:17.020 Towards the opposite end of the bedroom 254 00:25:17.500 --> 00:25:21.600 Uh, and I see me standing there. It's like i'm running towards myself 255 00:25:22.500 --> 00:25:26.360 And i'm screaming bloody murder at this other version of me 256 00:25:27.840 --> 00:25:28.440 And 257 00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:28.620 and 258 00:25:29.260 --> 00:25:33.960 Really? I think the dream interpretation is quite self-explanatory. My roommate was 259 00:25:34.500 --> 00:25:37.920 Helping me figure this out was he said well, it seems like 260 00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:39.720 This is regarding yourself 261 00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:43.400 Um, like there's something 262 00:25:44.560 --> 00:25:45.240 That 263 00:25:45.320 --> 00:25:47.540 either is in you 264 00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:51.200 Or that you think about yourself that you don't like 265 00:25:51.540 --> 00:25:56.080 Like yeah. Yeah, and that you are just like screaming at yourself 266 00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:02.020 Pulling a knife to yourself, which could mean you're verbally attacking yourself, you know, or just 267 00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:04.560 somehow you feel like um 268 00:26:05.620 --> 00:26:08.240 So do you have a is there a history of pornography? 269 00:26:09.280 --> 00:26:11.780 Is there history of like masturbation? 270 00:26:13.380 --> 00:26:14.500 history of 271 00:26:14.500 --> 00:26:17.040 You said you'd never had sex with anybody else 272 00:26:17.300 --> 00:26:20.560 So that i'm assuming that that's kind of like where this is all 273 00:26:21.800 --> 00:26:29.060 Been manifesting in trying to suppress any sexual desire over the course of your young life 274 00:26:30.600 --> 00:26:32.680 Is that accurate or no 275 00:26:36.820 --> 00:26:37.300 Um 276 00:26:39.420 --> 00:26:44.440 I mean because i'll just go on while you're thinking about that. Um, yeah, because the thing about it is is uh 277 00:26:45.960 --> 00:26:50.060 I mean in a young man's life. I mean, there's that's just that's just that's pretty 278 00:26:51.240 --> 00:26:51.920 average 279 00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:54.220 and normal for 280 00:26:54.560 --> 00:26:55.980 this day and age 281 00:26:56.280 --> 00:27:00.920 I'm, not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's normal and average in the sense that 282 00:27:01.620 --> 00:27:07.960 Every man is going to be awakened sexually at some point how you get awakened sexually is 283 00:27:09.580 --> 00:27:10.260 um 284 00:27:10.260 --> 00:27:11.260 different and varied 285 00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:17.000 Unfortunately, there's a lot of sexual awakenings that happen as a result of 286 00:27:17.620 --> 00:27:18.980 abusive situation 287 00:27:18.980 --> 00:27:25.680 Um, there could be you know, it could be young as a child at a sleepover 288 00:27:25.900 --> 00:27:28.460 Uh, it could be you know 289 00:27:28.460 --> 00:27:32.820 Being around the schoolmates. It could be around somebody, uh in the family 290 00:27:33.560 --> 00:27:34.320 um 291 00:27:34.340 --> 00:27:36.900 Very rarely anymore. Do you have? 292 00:27:38.420 --> 00:27:42.080 people men and women becoming sexually awakened and active 293 00:27:43.660 --> 00:27:44.420 uh 294 00:27:44.420 --> 00:27:45.000 appropriately 295 00:27:45.420 --> 00:27:47.680 So much so that when I say 296 00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:52.420 Being sexually active or awakened appropriately. We don't even know what that means 297 00:27:52.700 --> 00:27:55.040 Like we can't even define that like hey, you know 298 00:27:55.340 --> 00:28:01.360 What is the best way to be awakened sexually, you know, you know when you come into your adolescence? 299 00:28:02.580 --> 00:28:06.320 Yeah, we don't even know what that means. I mean, I don't even know that there's even a 300 00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:11.480 Clinician that can talk to you like okay. Well the best way to become sexually active 301 00:28:12.100 --> 00:28:14.400 Is you know and it's and then and then it's so in 302 00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:16.760 It's so insufficient 303 00:28:16.760 --> 00:28:23.540 With regard to especially in a religious context because like well, you just become sexually active the day you get married 304 00:28:23.860 --> 00:28:24.440 Okay 305 00:28:24.540 --> 00:28:30.920 I don't know what planet or what world you live in but that's not the reality of the age we live in 306 00:28:31.580 --> 00:28:34.760 Yeah, i'm not saying again. I'm not advocating for 307 00:28:35.640 --> 00:28:38.620 All kinds of sexual activity. I'm just trying to be right 308 00:28:39.620 --> 00:28:42.160 Okay, so here's the thing here's the thing 309 00:28:42.540 --> 00:28:43.420 you know 310 00:28:43.420 --> 00:28:50.620 Many people have asked this question. I was a youth pastor for years. I was a high school teacher for a number of years 311 00:28:51.180 --> 00:28:54.620 dealt with the student services director of college for 312 00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:56.820 um 313 00:28:56.820 --> 00:29:00.240 Four years. I mean I get it. I was a young person myself 314 00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:03.020 I was trying to navigate all kinds of 315 00:29:03.980 --> 00:29:08.880 Situations I was standing on a platform singing and ministering since I was 12 years old 316 00:29:09.320 --> 00:29:11.460 In church, so I was in this religious 317 00:29:12.060 --> 00:29:12.580 construct 318 00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:19.940 Coming into puberty and here I was trying to be mr. Good church boy, but at the same time 319 00:29:20.620 --> 00:29:22.960 Dealing with sexuality just like every other person 320 00:29:24.040 --> 00:29:28.400 So and you ask in like well, what is the right way? Well, I don't know what the right way is 321 00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:31.700 The right way is whatever your life 322 00:29:32.260 --> 00:29:33.440 however your life went 323 00:29:34.200 --> 00:29:35.240 and hopefully 324 00:29:36.220 --> 00:29:38.040 if there was a 325 00:29:39.120 --> 00:29:39.640 a 326 00:29:39.640 --> 00:29:42.720 a sort of negative abusive situation 327 00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:46.300 That was occurring with that sexual awakening 328 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:52.600 Then i'm i'm truly truly truly heartbroken. Sorry that that's the way it happened 329 00:29:53.260 --> 00:29:54.180 and 330 00:29:54.180 --> 00:29:59.980 And it's just really really difficult and it is a source of shame for a lot 331 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.880 lot of people, I would say probably most people. I don't want to put a percentage on it, but 332 00:30:06.180 --> 00:30:12.420 I'm sure there's just most people's sexual awakening, especially men. And then of course, 333 00:30:12.520 --> 00:30:19.700 this leads to like, well, what do I do now? You know, especially like, you know, in, if 334 00:30:19.700 --> 00:30:24.040 you don't have a religious context and you're coming into this, you just kind of do what 335 00:30:24.040 --> 00:30:27.320 everybody else does, what your friends do, whatever, like, Hey, you know, like, I'm just 336 00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:30.180 going out with chicks. You know, I'm just trying to like hook up and doing this, that 337 00:30:30.180 --> 00:30:36.320 party scene school, like college, whatever it is. But then if you're in a religious context, 338 00:30:36.760 --> 00:30:42.200 then there's a, there's another layer that comes over top of it that tries to tell you, 339 00:30:42.220 --> 00:30:45.580 suppress it. Don't do it. It's forbidden, dah, dah, dah, dah, blah, blah, blah. And 340 00:30:45.580 --> 00:30:52.400 then it just, what makes you want to do it more? The forbiddenness of it. At least if 341 00:30:52.400 --> 00:30:55.480 you're just a young person and you're just not in church and you're in the world and 342 00:30:55.480 --> 00:31:00.520 you're just doing whatever, like feels good. I don't know. I don't know if there's necessary 343 00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:04.640 because I didn't have that experience, but maybe there's the sense of like, well, at 344 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:09.160 least you don't have the religiosity to it. But at the same time, it's still as destructive, 345 00:31:09.220 --> 00:31:13.180 still as damaging because the principles are universal. So I don't sound like I'm getting 346 00:31:13.180 --> 00:31:23.380 to any like conclusions here other than to say that what you've experienced is real. 347 00:31:23.380 --> 00:31:30.020 It is normal. It is life. It is, it is your truth because it's your, it is your experience. 348 00:31:31.620 --> 00:31:41.480 What you want to do about it is surrender it of course, to the cross. You, there's no, 349 00:31:42.460 --> 00:31:51.020 in no way can any man and sexuality is just a really, really, really good example of this. 350 00:31:52.120 --> 00:31:56.980 And this can be applied to every situation. It can be applied to money, it can be applied 351 00:31:56.980 --> 00:32:03.000 to relationships and be applied to profession. It can be applied to everything. And that is to say 352 00:32:03.780 --> 00:32:11.460 that if you, if you feel shame around something, shame, isn't ever going to get you to do whatever 353 00:32:11.460 --> 00:32:19.920 it is, right? If I shame you about mismanaging your money, then all you're going to do is feel 354 00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:25.180 bad about having money and dealing with money. And you're going to feel shameful about taking 355 00:32:25.180 --> 00:32:28.960 money or getting money. Or now what do I do if I have money, what am I going to do with it? 356 00:32:29.760 --> 00:32:37.460 If I, but if I teach you, or if I don't, if I can't teach you, but I can encourage you to get 357 00:32:37.460 --> 00:32:42.940 training on how to manage money and do money well, and set a budget and do the responsible 358 00:32:42.940 --> 00:32:47.800 and right things with money. And here's how powerful money can be in the hands of a righteous 359 00:32:47.800 --> 00:32:52.240 man. Now I'm training you and teaching you something. And I'm taking the element of shame 360 00:32:52.240 --> 00:33:00.200 out, adding value to you. So the same thing happens with the sexuality. If I can say, Hey, 361 00:33:00.360 --> 00:33:04.420 what happened to you and your sexuality and your sexual history in terms of whether it's 362 00:33:04.420 --> 00:33:09.760 pornography or masturbation, or whether it's, you know having a hundred different relationships with 363 00:33:09.760 --> 00:33:14.680 a hundred different people in one night stands or, or whatever it is, or there was some sort of abuse 364 00:33:14.680 --> 00:33:20.960 or something that, that awakened your sexuality or was ongoing situation. We can deal with that 365 00:33:20.960 --> 00:33:26.780 and we can heal from that. But at the same time, you also want to surrender it because the first, 366 00:33:27.340 --> 00:33:33.080 first and foremost, um, what happened to you was your thing, but it wasn't you. Wasn't your fault. 367 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:43.080 We live, especially with sexuality. We live in literally a culture that is 368 00:33:43.080 --> 00:33:51.020 sexually abusive all day long. It's just on front street. Ridiculous. 369 00:33:52.460 --> 00:33:57.980 Not the least of which is everything that's on the internet is available to you at just 370 00:33:57.980 --> 00:34:06.580 your fingertips. And so what I'm saying is, is that instead of trying to like white knuckle it 371 00:34:06.580 --> 00:34:13.060 through life and all the areas that we want to get right, this, again, this could happen. This 372 00:34:13.060 --> 00:34:19.540 could happen. Maybe sexuality isn't, you've got, you've got maturity in that area and you're like, 373 00:34:19.540 --> 00:34:25.460 okay, I, I, you know, I'm not promiscuous sexually. I'm, I don't have an issue with 374 00:34:26.940 --> 00:34:31.820 pornography. I don't have, you know, like that's not an issue. That's, that's a limiting behavior 375 00:34:31.820 --> 00:34:40.900 for me, but my health is. And so what do I do about that? You can feel shameful and go eat 376 00:34:41.139 --> 00:34:48.580 and then after you eat donuts, feel shame again and never get healthy. Or you could learn not 377 00:34:48.580 --> 00:34:55.120 only how to get healthy, you could also learn the value of like why health is important. 378 00:34:55.340 --> 00:34:59.980 And you could educate yourself to say, my goodness, my health is. 379 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.280 not only just like me living my best life now, 380 00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:08.180 but like it helps me so that when I'm 70, 75, 80 years old, 381 00:35:08.540 --> 00:35:13.660 I can actually enjoy my life and not have to be, you know, 382 00:35:13.780 --> 00:35:18.300 hold up in some old folks home, just wasting away, 383 00:35:18.640 --> 00:35:20.940 still alive, but can't enjoy my life 384 00:35:20.980 --> 00:35:23.680 because I destroyed my body with my health. 385 00:35:26.500 --> 00:35:28.580 You all feel where I'm coming from? 386 00:35:28.580 --> 00:35:31.580 Like when this whole thing, like it's not about the shame. 387 00:35:31.580 --> 00:35:34.040 If you are going to, this is why the story 388 00:35:34.040 --> 00:35:35.740 of the prodigal son is so important 389 00:35:35.940 --> 00:35:41.620 because it's not only the point of receiving the son 390 00:35:41.620 --> 00:35:44.280 who came back into community and restoring his fullness, 391 00:35:45.080 --> 00:35:47.660 but it's about the same thing happening over 392 00:35:47.660 --> 00:35:48.960 and over and over again. 393 00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.660 God's consistent posture to you is the heart of the father 394 00:35:55.200 --> 00:35:58.040 to teach and train you and to raise you up 395 00:35:58.040 --> 00:36:00.440 and to restore continually your sonship. 396 00:36:02.220 --> 00:36:04.860 So the reason we're identifying the areas 397 00:36:04.860 --> 00:36:08.760 that are holding us back is because we want to, 398 00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:14.000 we want to expose the things that are, 399 00:36:15.640 --> 00:36:19.360 that are holding us back, that we don't talk about, 400 00:36:19.420 --> 00:36:22.600 or that we're afraid to mention, or we're keeping secret, 401 00:36:22.640 --> 00:36:25.980 or we're keeping hidden because we're afraid 402 00:36:25.980 --> 00:36:28.260 of what other people might think about it. 403 00:36:28.500 --> 00:36:31.100 We're afraid or we're ashamed to say, 404 00:36:31.120 --> 00:36:32.840 this is who I really am. 405 00:36:33.220 --> 00:36:35.640 This is what's happened to me and this is how I operate. 406 00:36:37.520 --> 00:36:41.980 And that keeps us bound in that area 407 00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:45.160 rather than shedding light on it, 408 00:36:45.860 --> 00:36:49.200 exposing it and realizing that that is the thing 409 00:36:49.200 --> 00:36:50.840 that doesn't have power over me. 410 00:36:51.300 --> 00:36:54.640 My willingness to keep accepting that 411 00:36:54.640 --> 00:36:56.640 is the thing that has power over me 412 00:36:56.640 --> 00:37:01.340 because the father is literally running from his house 413 00:37:01.340 --> 00:37:02.860 to the edge of the property, 414 00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:07.380 making sure that I don't have to have shame 415 00:37:07.380 --> 00:37:10.460 in regard to this, that I can be fully restored 416 00:37:11.620 --> 00:37:13.420 time and time and time again, 417 00:37:15.180 --> 00:37:17.460 because Jesus paid the ultimate price. 418 00:37:19.380 --> 00:37:21.360 And you say, yeah, but I've done, 419 00:37:21.600 --> 00:37:23.260 but this has been happening so long, 420 00:37:23.260 --> 00:37:25.880 it's been me doing all these things, 421 00:37:26.440 --> 00:37:28.720 or I just keep, I can't ever get it right, 422 00:37:28.900 --> 00:37:30.340 or it just keeps screwing up, 423 00:37:30.460 --> 00:37:34.200 or this is my third relationship that I've messed up, 424 00:37:34.260 --> 00:37:36.040 or I can't even get into a relationship 425 00:37:36.260 --> 00:37:38.220 because of all the list of things 426 00:37:38.220 --> 00:37:40.380 that I feel like that are disqualifying. 427 00:37:45.320 --> 00:37:47.440 And those things need to be exposed. 428 00:37:48.900 --> 00:37:52.120 They don't need to be talked about in a way like, 429 00:37:52.120 --> 00:37:53.600 oh, this is what happened, 430 00:37:53.620 --> 00:37:56.300 and this happened to me, and rehearse it. 431 00:37:56.960 --> 00:38:00.780 It needs to be said and said aloud 432 00:38:00.940 --> 00:38:04.800 so that it can be exposed for the fraud 433 00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:09.500 and for the, for the, 434 00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:17.560 for the limiting that it is. 435 00:38:18.340 --> 00:38:22.700 You see, the son, when he was prodigal, 436 00:38:22.780 --> 00:38:24.120 I mean, when he was away 437 00:38:24.120 --> 00:38:26.260 and he was spending all of his inheritance, 438 00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:32.080 wasn't actually behaving in who he really was. 439 00:38:32.980 --> 00:38:33.740 Who was he? 440 00:38:34.680 --> 00:38:36.320 He really was the son. 441 00:38:37.120 --> 00:38:39.340 He was the actual son. 442 00:38:39.460 --> 00:38:41.080 He wasn't just a fake son. 443 00:38:41.940 --> 00:38:44.540 He wasn't some guy who was a part of the household 444 00:38:44.540 --> 00:38:47.220 that took the money and ran. 445 00:38:47.960 --> 00:38:49.500 He actually was the son. 446 00:38:50.260 --> 00:38:51.880 He actually was the person 447 00:38:51.880 --> 00:38:55.120 that was supposed to receive the inheritance. 448 00:38:58.100 --> 00:39:01.600 And so when he was acting not like the son, 449 00:39:02.900 --> 00:39:04.700 he was limiting his life. 450 00:39:04.940 --> 00:39:06.380 He was debilitating. 451 00:39:07.420 --> 00:39:12.000 He was resisting who he really was. 452 00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:14.860 But when he came to himself and came home, 453 00:39:15.400 --> 00:39:19.560 he was hoping to have some semblance of reception 454 00:39:19.560 --> 00:39:20.380 to the point where like, 455 00:39:20.460 --> 00:39:24.180 well, maybe I could just be a servant in my father's house. 456 00:39:24.520 --> 00:39:26.920 At least the servants could eat. 457 00:39:27.280 --> 00:39:30.440 At least the servants would have something to wear. 458 00:39:30.780 --> 00:39:34.480 At least the servants would have meaning and purpose. 459 00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:40.580 But instead, he comes home and he gets given restoration. 460 00:39:41.180 --> 00:39:41.960 No shame. 461 00:39:42.560 --> 00:39:43.960 The heart of the father sees him 462 00:39:45.500 --> 00:39:49.160 and says, you are still my son. 463 00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:56.740 You are the righteous offspring inheritor 464 00:39:57.680 --> 00:39:59.440 of all that is. 465 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.500 All that what I have 466 00:40:04.100 --> 00:40:06.460 So that is you 467 00:40:07.500 --> 00:40:11.920 Jesus Christ went to the cross to be able to give that back to you 468 00:40:14.660 --> 00:40:16.380 And you're like, okay 469 00:40:19.080 --> 00:40:24.600 I'm not so sure and the question is it's like why why aren't you sure? 470 00:40:27.860 --> 00:40:28.480 You 471 00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:28.680 Anybody 472 00:40:35.600 --> 00:40:37.720 Anybody want to respond to that 473 00:40:39.480 --> 00:40:40.620 Did you say it again 474 00:40:41.040 --> 00:40:49.420 Well, I was just saying that you know, if sons if God has restored your sonship as he did through Christ 475 00:40:51.180 --> 00:40:56.820 Why don't why aren't we behaving acting like the sons that we are 476 00:40:57.940 --> 00:41:02.580 Why are not we why aren't we not thriving in the ways? 477 00:41:03.040 --> 00:41:04.940 That we could thrive as 478 00:41:05.820 --> 00:41:06.500 sons of God 479 00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:10.100 What is continuing to hold us back? 480 00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:13.980 that's the really the question that needs to be answered and 481 00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:19.860 And like Bob it's like Bob, you know is is your look still holding you back 482 00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:27.400 You know, that's I mean I'm kind of asking this rhetorically but that's kind of like if you're identifying these things 483 00:41:28.020 --> 00:41:30.500 Joshua is your sexuality still holding you back? 484 00:41:30.660 --> 00:41:33.680 Dave is your house being a mess still holding you back? 485 00:41:33.840 --> 00:41:39.180 I mean, is that the real thing or is there something else like the question to begs for you know 486 00:41:39.180 --> 00:41:43.080 Do you sort of get to the bottom of like what's really happening here? 487 00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:46.060 So I know that 488 00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:47.680 You can be exposed 489 00:41:48.920 --> 00:41:54.040 So I was watching one of the videos again. I'm on this week five to last session of the 490 00:41:54.320 --> 00:41:58.920 Part right is one of the things Jackie was talking about was, you know 491 00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:05.040 The the guy who believed but asked me for help my disbelief or my unbelief, right? 492 00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:09.620 So yes, I believe but help me me with my unbelief. Yes 493 00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:11.080 that 494 00:42:11.600 --> 00:42:14.960 Here I think which is we're still human, right? 495 00:42:15.040 --> 00:42:21.740 Yeah, and there is as much as we believe we are this inheritance. We have this inheritance. We have this right 496 00:42:21.740 --> 00:42:28.320 We're free and we can be this strong. I think there still is an element of unbelief that 497 00:42:29.660 --> 00:42:36.640 We respond to the world around us still right and let that still influence influence us 498 00:42:37.390 --> 00:42:43.330 Negatively in spite of the people believe we we're not fully owning the belief that we have 499 00:42:43.570 --> 00:42:47.710 Yeah, exactly. And that's the truth. And that's that's the thing because to me 500 00:42:49.050 --> 00:42:50.710 That becomes the prayer 501 00:42:51.690 --> 00:42:57.310 So that so like when you like, okay, so like what is it? I'm 502 00:42:57.310 --> 00:42:59.190 supposed to believe it's true about me and 503 00:43:00.430 --> 00:43:03.110 Usually it's helpful if you just pick one area 504 00:43:03.850 --> 00:43:11.550 Let's just take for instance, this is take I don't have the money that I want to have in order to live 505 00:43:12.010 --> 00:43:16.510 The life I want to live and now I don't mean selfishly. I just mean 506 00:43:17.950 --> 00:43:23.010 If you had the money that you wanted to live in a way that you felt good about yourself 507 00:43:23.270 --> 00:43:29.170 Confident about yourself be able to move forward in whatever way you wanted to move forward with you know 508 00:43:29.170 --> 00:43:31.330 What money how much money would that be? 509 00:43:31.790 --> 00:43:38.490 and if that is not what you are operating with then your problem in that regard that's 510 00:43:39.690 --> 00:43:41.290 specificity is I 511 00:43:42.170 --> 00:43:49.150 I don't make enough money or I don't have enough money to do what I feel like I want to do to 512 00:43:49.150 --> 00:43:55.310 Accomplish something in my life to mean something in my life. So then the prayer becomes 513 00:43:55.530 --> 00:43:56.670 Okay, Lord 514 00:43:57.430 --> 00:44:02.290 What am I missing like help my unbelief 515 00:44:03.130 --> 00:44:05.870 Begin to show me 516 00:44:06.790 --> 00:44:11.630 Strategies that I can use to build wealth begin to show me 517 00:44:13.270 --> 00:44:15.130 The the perfect 518 00:44:15.850 --> 00:44:22.370 Intersection between my skill set and the job that would pay me what I want to make 519 00:44:23.090 --> 00:44:25.710 Show me Lord help my unbelief 520 00:44:26.030 --> 00:44:34.470 Show me and introduce me to the people that can open doors for me. See that becomes part of the prayer 521 00:44:34.950 --> 00:44:40.730 Connected to the thing that you're putting that you want to believe for that. You want to believe to change in your life 522 00:44:42.590 --> 00:44:45.190 Introduce me to the love of my life Lord 523 00:44:47.570 --> 00:44:48.030 You 524 00:44:48.030 --> 00:44:54.190 Know and then if you don't feel like that if you okay, here's here's a little bit of complexity. I get it 525 00:44:54.190 --> 00:44:59.390 I know it's difficult if you don't feel like you're ready to meet the love of your life 526 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.780 Then you take one step back and go, okay, Lord, what is it going to take for me to step 527 00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:13.960 into the confidence that I need that when I meet the love of my life, I'll be ready. 528 00:45:15.980 --> 00:45:16.760 Make sense? 529 00:45:17.620 --> 00:45:19.720 And that sounds overly simple, guys. 530 00:45:19.960 --> 00:45:24.420 And it sounds over to like, oh, I'm not really sure that's about, that's kind of what I'm 531 00:45:24.420 --> 00:45:25.160 trying to say to you. 532 00:45:25.160 --> 00:45:27.780 It is actually really that simple. 533 00:45:28.560 --> 00:45:35.760 It's not actually easy sometimes to get there, but we don't need easy. 534 00:45:36.200 --> 00:45:36.720 We need what? 535 00:45:36.860 --> 00:45:37.940 We need it worth it. 536 00:45:37.940 --> 00:45:44.560 Like it's worth doing the effort to bring yourself into that level of confidence. 537 00:45:47.020 --> 00:45:53.400 Maybe it's, you know, sometimes it could be just as simple as getting a new outfit, getting 538 00:45:53.400 --> 00:45:56.960 a new pair of shoes because it's like, I feel good in these shoes. 539 00:45:57.560 --> 00:45:58.860 I feel good in this outfit. 540 00:45:59.740 --> 00:46:04.920 I feel good in, you know, driving this car. 541 00:46:05.820 --> 00:46:08.280 I feel good in doing whatever. 542 00:46:09.700 --> 00:46:13.900 I feel confident when I do this or when I go here or when I'm with these people. 543 00:46:14.620 --> 00:46:17.300 Sometimes it's the people you're fellowshipping with. 544 00:46:17.700 --> 00:46:20.900 It's like, oh, I wish I could be with these other people because they're just so much 545 00:46:20.900 --> 00:46:24.560 more fun and they're exciting and they're, they think differently than I do. 546 00:46:24.560 --> 00:46:28.760 Okay, well then like make that your new friend group. 547 00:46:29.860 --> 00:46:30.300 You know what I'm saying? 548 00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:36.580 There's so many different ways that you can bring about change in your world that leads 549 00:46:36.580 --> 00:46:40.580 you to the better self that you want to be. 550 00:46:40.940 --> 00:46:42.480 Like traveling abroad? 551 00:46:43.060 --> 00:46:43.620 Yeah. 552 00:46:43.700 --> 00:46:44.300 I travel. 553 00:46:44.600 --> 00:46:45.920 I feel good when I travel. 554 00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:46.780 I love to travel. 555 00:46:46.980 --> 00:46:47.820 I want to go to places. 556 00:46:47.820 --> 00:46:49.380 I spent two weeks in the Mediterranean. 557 00:46:50.200 --> 00:46:50.760 Absolutely. 558 00:46:51.520 --> 00:46:52.320 A thousand percent. 559 00:46:54.180 --> 00:46:55.760 A thousand percent. 560 00:46:56.160 --> 00:47:00.780 And how did you feel having been there and done that? 561 00:47:00.940 --> 00:47:05.280 On one sense, I bet you felt like, hey, I did it. 562 00:47:05.380 --> 00:47:06.360 I accomplished it. 563 00:47:06.360 --> 00:47:06.900 I feel like I accomplished it. 564 00:47:06.900 --> 00:47:11.060 I feel like while I wrestled and I, I feel like I accomplished, I won a state championship, 565 00:47:11.400 --> 00:47:12.900 won a championship or something. 566 00:47:13.340 --> 00:47:13.540 Exactly. 567 00:47:13.680 --> 00:47:15.160 It felt like my parents are so proud. 568 00:47:15.220 --> 00:47:19.560 My mom will always bring up and brag about how good of a son I am. 569 00:47:19.560 --> 00:47:25.460 And she even talked, she got jealous and envious of the fact that I can go abroad and I can 570 00:47:25.460 --> 00:47:27.140 come up with money that quick. 571 00:47:27.780 --> 00:47:28.260 Amazing. 572 00:47:28.580 --> 00:47:35.640 You just proved to yourself that you set your mind to accomplish a goal and you did it. 573 00:47:35.960 --> 00:47:38.460 And you can, nobody can take it away from you. 574 00:47:38.900 --> 00:47:42.120 Somebody can say, hey Hunter, you know, have you ever traveled abroad? 575 00:47:42.140 --> 00:47:44.400 And you're like, yeah, I have actually, let me tell you all about it. 576 00:47:44.660 --> 00:47:46.940 And you can tell them about your experience. 577 00:47:47.020 --> 00:47:48.480 It's not my first one too. 578 00:47:48.480 --> 00:47:49.400 I understand. 579 00:47:49.760 --> 00:47:52.100 And then there's the singles cruise I'm coming in January. 580 00:47:52.240 --> 00:47:53.540 I want to go big. 581 00:47:53.780 --> 00:47:54.260 Awesome. 582 00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:56.100 It's better than sitting on a plane. 583 00:47:56.480 --> 00:48:01.260 That's a perfect example of something that you went after because it's like, hey, this 584 00:48:01.260 --> 00:48:02.400 made a difference in my life. 585 00:48:02.640 --> 00:48:03.860 I went somewhere. 586 00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:04.780 I did something. 587 00:48:05.020 --> 00:48:06.220 I accomplished this. 588 00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:12.100 You know, if I could get, here's something I'm dealing with right now and you guys know 589 00:48:12.100 --> 00:48:17.420 I've been talking about this for a long time and that is like, like I'm not a huge person. 590 00:48:17.420 --> 00:48:22.180 I'm not a big person, but I'm over 200 pounds and I shouldn't be. 591 00:48:22.560 --> 00:48:26.360 I'm 212 and I should be like 185. 592 00:48:26.920 --> 00:48:33.120 But if I could ever get to the point where I break 200 in my weight, which I have not 593 00:48:33.120 --> 00:48:39.360 done in probably well over 20, 25 years, I would be ecstatic. 594 00:48:40.540 --> 00:48:42.720 And you're like, David, why don't you do that? 595 00:48:43.080 --> 00:48:45.780 Why don't you like, what's, what's keeping you from doing this? 596 00:48:45.780 --> 00:48:50.380 And I'm like, because it's me, I don't want to put in the work. 597 00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:54.140 I don't want to put down the fork long enough to do it. 598 00:48:54.340 --> 00:48:56.300 And I'm confessing this to you. 599 00:48:56.920 --> 00:49:02.260 I'm telling you this, I'm, I'm real revealing this to you. 600 00:49:03.260 --> 00:49:05.740 And you're like, but you're just saying all these things. 601 00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:06.500 It's so easy. 602 00:49:06.520 --> 00:49:08.660 Like, yeah, it is pretty simple. 603 00:49:09.340 --> 00:49:11.840 I know what to do in order to lose the weight. 604 00:49:12.680 --> 00:49:19.600 I know what to do in order to, but I am somewhere in my psychology. 605 00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:24.580 I'm unwilling to do it. 606 00:49:27.340 --> 00:49:29.560 I'm confessing that to you. 607 00:49:29.700 --> 00:49:35.560 But at the same time, I'm constantly trying to fight that battle. 608 00:49:35.640 --> 00:49:39.200 Not just like, not just like ignoring it. 609 00:49:39.220 --> 00:49:40.120 It's like, okay, well, whatever. 610 00:49:40.160 --> 00:49:41.080 This is just going to be me. 611 00:49:41.080 --> 00:49:42.620 I haven't given up on it yet. 612 00:49:44.520 --> 00:49:48.280 I haven't, I still get up every day going, you know what? 613 00:49:48.800 --> 00:49:51.460 I'm going to try to not do this one thing. 614 00:49:51.520 --> 00:49:52.880 I'm going to say no to this. 615 00:49:53.520 --> 00:49:55.240 I'm going to fast in the morning. 616 00:49:55.760 --> 00:49:58.660 I'm going to like, I do different things. 617 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.200 And some days, I'm really good at it and some days I'm not, but I have this. 618 00:50:07.300 --> 00:50:11.000 The sense that one day I'm going to get this right. 619 00:50:12.500 --> 00:50:16.780 I'm going to change this dimension of my life because I just don't want to be. 620 00:50:17.780 --> 00:50:28.360 Um, I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I fit in certain clothes, I don't like, I don't feel confident in certain ways, because of this. 621 00:50:31.340 --> 00:50:39.560 My wife doesn't shame me. But I also know that she's unhappy with the treatment of my own self. 622 00:50:40.060 --> 00:50:45.900 And you say, Oh, what shouldn't that make you feel like you would want to do that for her. 623 00:50:46.900 --> 00:50:50.460 Well, I've tried. I've tried to do it for her but I can't do it for her. 624 00:50:51.660 --> 00:50:52.740 I have to do it for myself. 625 00:50:53.940 --> 00:50:55.620 Who's going to say amen to that. 626 00:50:57.140 --> 00:50:58.880 I have to do for my I have to do it for myself. 627 00:51:00.120 --> 00:51:01.800 I can't do it for anybody else. 628 00:51:02.580 --> 00:51:03.500 I can't do it for myself. 629 00:51:06.080 --> 00:51:13.400 Anyway, so, um, I just want you guys to really focus on the part that's kind of like holding you back in this. 630 00:51:13.400 --> 00:51:23.360 And, and, and understand, like in the story that you have, like, if you've caused yourself. 631 00:51:25.060 --> 00:51:40.840 Then, uncaused yourself and realize that the Father has run out to you, and has relieved you and released you from the shame of your predicament, and has welcomed you back into full sonship. 632 00:51:41.840 --> 00:51:46.180 Is continually inviting you to take the trip. 633 00:51:48.160 --> 00:52:01.720 You know, do, do the work to step into the relationship to stop the behavior that is continuing to hold you back 634 00:52:03.440 --> 00:52:06.500 and receive it and say yes. 635 00:52:07.520 --> 00:52:09.900 That's that's, I want that. 636 00:52:10.300 --> 00:52:18.940 I receive and I'm gonna step into it and begin getting the wins that you want even if it's just one little thing. 637 00:52:20.040 --> 00:52:29.040 There's some days where I'm like I did my list today, and I had a list of eight things and I did them all. And I'm so happy I'm so satisfied I did my work today. 638 00:52:30.160 --> 00:52:32.900 Sometimes it's just a little win like that. 639 00:52:33.520 --> 00:52:38.840 Other days it's like man I accomplished this thing I've been working on for six months, and it's finally done. 640 00:52:40.960 --> 00:52:48.900 You know, Josh the fact that you're engaged the fact that the fact that you're like in a relationship to that to that level. That's awesome. 641 00:52:50.800 --> 00:52:58.380 I think he's on right now I think he checked that he was having a battery issue, Josh pickle. 642 00:52:59.140 --> 00:52:59.140 643 00:53:00.120 --> 00:53:01.280 My computer. 644 00:53:01.740 --> 00:53:02.500 Oh, okay. 645 00:53:05.560 --> 00:53:06.720 All right. 646 00:53:07.520 --> 00:53:11.840 Okay, guys, we're over on time, and I got a. 647 00:53:11.840 --> 00:53:16.860 My wife's calling me already she's like, we don't where you going where yet. 648 00:53:17.740 --> 00:53:20.500 So, I asked you a quick question though David. Go ahead. 649 00:53:21.720 --> 00:53:33.140 So, you know, this is my fifth week here now and doing this and I suppose I think each week go through one of the questions at the end of, like, the part of that session didn't get a chance today, but now they've done it like, I'm not sure what is my next step 650 00:53:33.140 --> 00:53:36.780 having done the five and done the reading and the books and stuff. 651 00:53:37.540 --> 00:53:44.960 Well, I mean, the reason we have this heart checking call all the time is for that kind of resource for men. 652 00:53:45.900 --> 00:53:50.360 There are co ed events that we have in the community I don't know if you've ever showed up to any of those. 653 00:53:51.500 --> 00:53:52.120 Those are available. 654 00:53:53.060 --> 00:53:56.800 As far as the coursing is concerned, you've completed the course. 655 00:53:56.800 --> 00:54:05.440 But the other thing what I would encourage you to do is I would encourage you to revisit portions of the course, as it relates to the things you're working on. 656 00:54:05.440 --> 00:54:25.860 So I would keep, I would keep doing the heart work, and not necessarily the course like over and over and over again, but the heart work protocol, the, the, you know, the surrendering the heart, revealing the truth that's, that's, that's the putting 657 00:54:25.860 --> 00:54:42.800 the light on the things that need to be exposed, and then allowing Holy Spirit to help you process that releasing forgiveness where there needs to be forgiveness, and then stepping into the real you those are pretty much the basic tenants of heart work. 658 00:54:43.540 --> 00:54:49.600 That process is meant to be something that is repeated very consistently in your life. 659 00:54:50.600 --> 00:54:55.020 And sometimes, I mean, there's, I mean I still do heart work to this day. 660 00:54:55.860 --> 00:54:58.800 And there are things that sometimes need to be processed through. 661 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.160 takes a couple days, sometimes it takes five minutes, 662 00:55:04.620 --> 00:55:07.100 but I use the tool as a protocol 663 00:55:07.100 --> 00:55:08.520 to be able to process things. 664 00:55:08.600 --> 00:55:10.780 So whenever there's a memory, this is how we do it. 665 00:55:11.660 --> 00:55:14.360 We don't encourage people to go looking 666 00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:16.740 for these troubled areas. 667 00:55:16.960 --> 00:55:19.100 We don't encourage people to go digging 668 00:55:19.100 --> 00:55:20.960 to try to find stuff. 669 00:55:21.780 --> 00:55:24.220 We just say that, hey, if there's a memory, 670 00:55:24.680 --> 00:55:26.440 if there's a situation, 671 00:55:27.040 --> 00:55:29.400 if there's something that happens 672 00:55:29.400 --> 00:55:31.800 that brings up a pain point, 673 00:55:32.380 --> 00:55:34.540 that brings up a memory or brings up an idea 674 00:55:34.540 --> 00:55:38.020 where there's a pain and trauma associated with it, 675 00:55:38.020 --> 00:55:40.800 whether it's fear or whether it's shame 676 00:55:40.800 --> 00:55:44.340 or whether it's guilt or whether it's disappointment, 677 00:55:44.900 --> 00:55:46.960 that is just an indicator 678 00:55:47.940 --> 00:55:50.340 that there's a hard work to do there. 679 00:55:50.780 --> 00:55:53.360 And you may just take five minutes to do it. 680 00:55:55.460 --> 00:55:57.380 You may just take a few minutes. 681 00:55:57.380 --> 00:55:59.420 You may sit with it for a day or so 682 00:55:59.420 --> 00:56:01.320 because you're like, oh, this is a serious situation 683 00:56:01.320 --> 00:56:03.180 and I'm trying to do some hard work over it. 684 00:56:03.720 --> 00:56:05.680 And it may take a moment. 685 00:56:05.780 --> 00:56:07.820 And then you just allow God to really process 686 00:56:08.060 --> 00:56:12.060 and just really heal you again and again and again 687 00:56:12.520 --> 00:56:15.760 to the point where eventually 688 00:56:17.340 --> 00:56:20.960 those traumatic things don't have as much hold 689 00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:24.860 or any hold at all over you, limiting you in that area. 690 00:56:24.860 --> 00:56:28.920 And there's true freedom that could be had from that. 691 00:56:28.920 --> 00:56:29.960 Make sense? 692 00:56:33.420 --> 00:56:33.660 Yeah. 693 00:56:35.660 --> 00:56:37.820 And then the other encouraging thing is after, 694 00:56:39.080 --> 00:56:41.060 we are always wanting people 695 00:56:41.060 --> 00:56:43.600 to go do their initial hard work. 696 00:56:43.600 --> 00:56:47.280 But at that point, if it's about you 697 00:56:47.280 --> 00:56:49.020 trying to find a relationship, 698 00:56:50.360 --> 00:56:52.420 then now we're encouraging you to like, 699 00:56:52.420 --> 00:56:54.540 hey, if that's your goal, 700 00:56:54.720 --> 00:56:56.320 if that's what you like, I wanna be in relationship, 701 00:56:56.440 --> 00:56:59.280 I wanna find somebody, I wanna find my spirit mate, 702 00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:02.060 then that's your process now. 703 00:57:03.400 --> 00:57:07.640 Because it's like, okay, now I'm ready to find, 704 00:57:07.860 --> 00:57:10.260 go on a date, I'm ready to meet somebody, 705 00:57:10.380 --> 00:57:13.760 I'm ready to talk, I'm ready to like try a date 706 00:57:13.760 --> 00:57:17.760 here and there and see what happens. 707 00:57:18.740 --> 00:57:20.080 And we have lots of support. 708 00:57:20.080 --> 00:57:24.100 Like we have love seats and we have love stories 709 00:57:24.100 --> 00:57:25.920 and there's different co-ed things that we do 710 00:57:25.920 --> 00:57:27.460 to help process through that. 711 00:57:28.340 --> 00:57:31.540 Even be spotlighted in the community for men especially. 712 00:57:34.680 --> 00:57:36.020 So that's what it's about. 713 00:57:36.580 --> 00:57:37.820 Okay, thank you. 714 00:57:38.460 --> 00:57:40.820 All right, God bless guys, have a great week. 715 00:57:41.800 --> 00:57:42.680 Enjoy your Thanksgiving, 716 00:57:42.920 --> 00:57:44.980 whatever you're gonna be doing this week for Thanksgiving. 717 00:57:45.820 --> 00:57:51.280 Hopefully you all have some celebrating to do in that way. 718 00:57:52.260 --> 00:57:56.040 And I bless you in that and I just pray 719 00:57:56.040 --> 00:58:00.980 that you'll just have a healthy, peaceful, enjoyable 720 00:58:01.020 --> 00:58:04.600 time of gratitude and Thanksgiving with family and friends 721 00:58:06.180 --> 00:58:08.020 and wherever you're going to be. 722 00:58:08.100 --> 00:58:10.420 And I just bless that in Jesus name, Lord. 723 00:58:11.080 --> 00:58:13.520 Let these men feel your love and your compassion 724 00:58:13.520 --> 00:58:15.500 towards them and let them feel the strength 725 00:58:15.820 --> 00:58:18.400 that is the joy of the Lord towards them 726 00:58:18.600 --> 00:58:22.020 in everything they do and everywhere they go 727 00:58:22.140 --> 00:58:25.020 in Jesus name, amen and amen. 728 00:58:26.500 --> 00:58:27.160 God bless you guys. 729 00:58:27.660 --> 00:58:28.260 Thank you.