WEBVTT

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All right, gentlemen, men's heart check in December 1st, 2025.

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I can't believe it's December already.

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So good to see you guys here.

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And Abram was just giving us an update on him being out on medical leave and

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then catching up and watching in replay.

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So it's a good thing we're recording these when I remember and you guys remind me.

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So, um, man, sorry to hear that, Abram and all that, but, um, we're

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glad that you're feeling better.

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It's never, it's never fun to be in pain.

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So, um, I, we have Abram, John Kenton, Dave, Mike, David from PA.

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Um, what is going on guys?

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Um, share with me, uh, what is your biggest take Abram Abram?

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Let's start with you, man.

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You've been out for a minute.

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I know you've been recuperating.

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Um, but other than the recuperation part, what's, what's new with you?

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What's going on artwork wise, relationship wise, or just like wins,

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you know, like what are you working on?

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So I had all these plans until I broke my arm.

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Um, you know, it's crazy how, like you just take for granted, you know, just

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picking up a cup of coffee, right.

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But, um, so that was, that's cool to reset.

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I think, I think I needed it.

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Unfortunately, I have to learn the hard way.

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That's kind of my road.

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Some stubborn, um, but, uh, hard work.

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So I've been living with my mom for the last, wow.

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Since November 4th was the surgery.

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And then before surgery, I was, I, my arm was broken for two weeks.

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So I've been living with my mom for about almost a month and two weeks.

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And, um, and, uh, you guys know the story there.

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It's a little rough, but we've been getting along great.

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Um, just the first couple of weeks there, I was pretty rough.

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Cause I was just, you know, I was pretty jacked up.

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So my patience was short, but, um, oh, I see.

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Yeah.

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But we've been getting along great.

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The last couple of weeks is my arms like, kind of like back together here.

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I can move in stuff.

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And, uh, you know, we've been praying the rosary together, praying

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every day, um, a little bit, which is nice.

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Kind of reminds me of like growing up, which is cool.

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And then in the morning she'll put on, like, we'll put on like some, uh,

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Gregorian chant, like some Catholic chant.

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Um, on the TV.

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So it's kind of like, it's like a holy hour.

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It's pretty neat.

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And so we'll pray.

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We'll have like some very.

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I don't know if you guys have ever listened to like champ, but it's just very holy.

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Just like, I don't know.

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It feels good.

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It's very familiar to me.

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So that's kind of nice on the heartwork stuff there.

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Um, I've talked to a couple of women through some dating apps,

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but nothing really hardcore.

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There's just one chick I've been talking to that she lives in LA and we just

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been chatting like back and forth every day for, you know, a couple of weeks

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now and it's going well and just, you know, real light stuff, nothing, you know,

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no conservative militia, any of that stuff.

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Just keeping it light and, uh, that's good.

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Yeah, that's good.

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Yeah.

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And, um, yeah.

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Winds are just, you know, every day it's crazy about my arm break is that it's

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not really the bones, not the problem, your shoulder and your elbow joint locks

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up, like it frees up.

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So like, you know, it's all about like degrees of, so like every day I'm trying

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to get my hand closer to my shoulder.

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So every day it's baby winds, like one, 2%.

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Uh, I saw the therapist.

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Yeah.

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I mean, just go like this, just turn sideways and touch your own shoulder.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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That's amazing.

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All right.

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Let me try on my left.

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I cannot quite do it.

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Oh, okay.

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I see.

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Yeah.

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And, uh, I got about 30 more degrees, but you were, but you were like out here.

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Oh dude.

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It was like a 90 degree thing.

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Yeah.

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You couldn't even, Oh God.

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And then my shoulder is Jack.

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And this is my good shoulder.

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My right shoulder has been jacked, but so now I'm having to just, it's all about.

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So anyways, therapist said that he's never seen anybody like be this, this

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like mobile in like his 10 years.

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So that was kind of cool to hear.

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Yeah, that is.

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Anyways, I'm on.

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Yeah.

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So I think that's hard work.

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I think that's some wins is my, just my, I'm going to be on

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disability here for some months.

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So I think my wins are just every day getting a little bit better.

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Yeah.

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And that lady I'm talking to and my mom, we're getting along.

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Uh, it's good.

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It's interesting.

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I mean, obviously I don't, I don't ascribe to, you know, this injury as

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providential from God and.

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or to get you back with your mom.

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But of course, I do believe in God using situations

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to be like, oh, okay, this is an opportunity here

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to maybe restore some relationship, that kind of thing,

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do some hard work.

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So I think that's cool.

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And thank you for sharing.

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And yeah, those are all wins for sure.

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Absolutely.

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Yeah, I'll let you guys see the scar

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whenever there's more people coming on or whatever,

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but it's pretty gnarly.

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Yeah.

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Oh, there were surgery involved too, right?

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Oh yeah, oh yeah, major.

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My arm was detached.

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Ooh.

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Yeah, it was detached.

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So if you guys wanna reach out on social media,

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I got videos and stuff.

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Pretty cool, pretty cool.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Okay, okay.

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Yeah, and then I learned that Josh got engaged

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like a week or two, Redhead Josh.

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So that was awesome.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And like, he's just still so humble

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and he's still like questioning himself so much

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cause he just, you know.

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Yeah.

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One of those guys, but he's like got a lady.

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It's like amazing.

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So he, I don't know.

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I mean, I'm just happy for the guy,

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but I hope that he could like enjoy it

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and not be so hard on himself.

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Cause he's hard on himself.

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I get to see that and watch the videos.

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So I wish he could just, you know, like enjoy it, man.

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And good things are coming.

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Yeah, that's true.

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That's a good sort of analogy with Josh.

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And yeah, I pray the same thing with him.

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Like, yeah, just last week we got in some stuff

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and I was thinking to myself like, bro,

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it's not that big of deal.

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It's a big deal, but it's not that big a deal.

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But it is a big deal, but it's not that big.

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It's like that balance of kind of like,

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I don't want to not take things seriously,

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but at the same time, it's just like, it's how you,

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that kind of like, it's a deal,

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it's not a big deal type thing is kind of like

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helping you balance the scenario of like,

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I want to take this seriously.

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I want to take, you know, every little thing, even seriously,

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but at the same time,

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I want to treat it with an attitude of not so much heaviness

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as much as just working through like, okay,

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this is reality.

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This is life.

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This is normal.

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This is not just me.

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This is like every man, you know?

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And like, so where are we going to go with this?

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You know, I think that's kind of where,

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you know, things like sin, even though sin is real,

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sin is a real thing.

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It's a true thing.

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And you can call things sins, you know?

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But if you want to be like really honest

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and really pure about it,

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like pretty much everything's a sin, you know,

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in a sense of like, if it's not like full of righteousness

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and with right intention and so, you know, like,

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I'm not trying to say,

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I'm not trying to make theology out of this.

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I'm just trying to say that anything that isn't like

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in perfect alignment with, you know,

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with the way heaven does things,

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the righteous judge, God being good,

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he's good in the sense that he is purely good.

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Like for there's atonement, there is mercy, there's grace.

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But at the same time,

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there's also the perfection of like, this is the way.

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Anything outside the bounds of that is obviously

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what we would label if we're labeling things sin.

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But at the same time,

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when you have that consciousness of, is this a sin?

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Is this not a sin?

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Or I'm too much in the sin or whatever it is.

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It's like focusing on the sin doesn't help the problem.

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Focusing on the problem doesn't help you get set free.

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It doesn't help you have the revelation of like,

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what's the better way?

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It doesn't help you have the revelation of like,

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hey, I know this relationship screwed up,

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but let's not focus on the screwed up

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part of the relationship.

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Let's focus on what is the healthy direction

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that we need to take this relationship.

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It's the positivity of this.

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And it's not just positivity for being nice sake.

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It is heaven's way of like full love,

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full on grace, mercy, full of love

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that is pushing you towards the right thing.

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What's the next best thing?

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The next best thing is the right thing.

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Instead of dwelling on the past, dwelling on the wrong,

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dwelling on all of the incorrect things.

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Same thing's true with healing.

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Like if you're gonna heal your arm,

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if you're gonna dwell on the whole fact of your,

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why me?

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Yeah, it doesn't help.

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Yeah, why me?

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Why did this happen?

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How did it happen?

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How could I have, blah, blah, blah.

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That's not we're gonna heal your arm. So good point. Love that

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Awesome

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Anything else Abram?

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Kitten looks good with that

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With that goatee there, man

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Yes, one for one more day and then it's gone

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When I grow a goatee, I call it my Todd

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Because my name might be Todd when I have my goatee

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Whoa, you let your Todd's looking good. That's my joke

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Why why is it gonna be gone in one day Kenton?

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Because we're up north here in the mines were allowed to do it for the month of November, which we call it the Movember month

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Yeah, so mustaches and goatees after that December 1st

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They got to come off when we go back up north because if we get an emergency situation

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We're down good at that, but they're able to put an oxygen mask on us and hair. I'll allow that

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So it's a compliance safety thing, that's right. Oh, wow. Yeah real mass really work if you apply them correctly

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Yeah, sorry had to go there

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Yeah, that's fascinating, okay cool, yeah, no you do I will say that does look good on you I like that

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Well, this is one woman says makes you look older. Well, that's all I want to look like. Thank you very much

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I'll take it off

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Now there's there's a sense of like masculinity maturity like, you know, I don't know maybe that's what she meant who knows

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Well, they never know then then the other one said man, you're scary when you got it on

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Yeah, I get it

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Awesome I get Kenton. Um

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Kenton what's going on with you man?

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For me. Yeah

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I'm still a stage three with the young lady that I've been seeing for the last two years as friendships, but

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Things could be could be better and she's good. She's agreed to go see some counseling because

254
00:11:59.240 --> 00:12:04.040
Her kids still one of her kids still doesn't like me. And of course with that in mind

255
00:12:04.040 --> 00:12:06.300
She is having problems with moving ahead

256
00:12:06.640 --> 00:12:09.840
So I says well tell you what I'll pay for a bunch of counseling for you

257
00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:15.040
You take them and then if you can't make a decision, but they're December we're done simple as that. Sorry

258
00:12:15.220 --> 00:12:20.700
Because there's been two years already. So I can't keep on waiting for from me because your daughter

259
00:12:21.520 --> 00:12:26.100
She's needs to deal with her daughter simply either kick her. Yeah, or simply

260
00:12:26.920 --> 00:12:33.880
Move on. So it was decision. I have to make so listen. Yeah, December is never a good month for me anyway

261
00:12:34.740 --> 00:12:40.480
Because it's simply family time and I'm lacking family have been for the last seven years

262
00:12:40.500 --> 00:12:43.060
So I try to avoid December if I can

263
00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:46.380
But this year I trying to do something different I'm gonna go to the States

264
00:12:46.380 --> 00:12:53.160
I'm gonna see if I can't find one of those little hallmark towns for a week and just stay there for a week. Ah

265
00:12:53.420 --> 00:12:55.620
Yeah, I hear that they're

266
00:12:56.420 --> 00:13:00.000
They're around. I'm not sure if I've been to one yet, but yeah

267
00:13:00.600 --> 00:13:06.660
But I eat up them in the States that they have them. The whole week is just geared for Christmas every night

268
00:13:06.660 --> 00:13:07.740
I've got a different activity

269
00:13:07.940 --> 00:13:12.300
You get involved with a community in so many words and if you like it enough you stay for the years

270
00:13:12.300 --> 00:13:13.440
They get to really know you

271
00:13:14.120 --> 00:13:16.600
Wow, okay, I get it. I

272
00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:20.120
Didn't know that there was that was that was a thing actually, so that's kind of cool

273
00:13:20.920 --> 00:13:22.560
It is good vacation spots

274
00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:25.920
Okay, good good. Anything else?

275
00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:29.360
Uh, I

276
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:34.940
Think that's because of the month I because I'll get a little I snapped at Catherine Catherine

277
00:13:35.100 --> 00:13:41.600
one one evening just because I had enough hearing about her daughter how if she doesn't like me and I had a

278
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:42.700
had to

279
00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:44.960
Apologize for that go back on it

280
00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:49.760
But then I recognized it was the month of December coming up and it's never a good month for me

281
00:13:49.760 --> 00:13:51.580
so I'm learning how to just

282
00:13:51.580 --> 00:13:58.500
Control that that whole element of sadness and lacking family during that period of time

283
00:13:58.980 --> 00:13:59.540
Yeah

284
00:14:00.180 --> 00:14:02.120
Yeah, no, it's it's never

285
00:14:02.860 --> 00:14:03.420
it's

286
00:14:04.000 --> 00:14:11.580
When circumstances like relation in the relationship like that are not in your control because you can't control how she feels about

287
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:18.660
Her her children and then the children have their strong opinions, which they're entitled to their opinions

288
00:14:18.660 --> 00:14:20.640
but at the same time like

289
00:14:21.460 --> 00:14:24.720
If it's a good thing, why wouldn't they want something good for their mom?

290
00:14:24.780 --> 00:14:31.600
you know, it's just it's difficult when adult children can you know sort of be in the way of a

291
00:14:32.360 --> 00:14:38.040
Relationship that maybe wants to happen, but then that's very difficult. And I'm sorry that that's happening

292
00:14:38.040 --> 00:14:42.560
Well, it's just a situation that I told her and I don't agree with my people says that when you

293
00:14:43.560 --> 00:14:49.140
Especially when you're older and second marriage. He says you're not only marrying the woman you're marrying your family

294
00:14:49.140 --> 00:14:53.140
I don't always agree with that. I says no their family's not gonna be in bed with us. I'm sorry

295
00:14:53.320 --> 00:14:56.240
No, not chance. So I'm not marrying your family

296
00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.980
I'm marrying you and from there if they want to be a part of our family the

297
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.920
When we're starting, I welcome them, but if they don't want to be apart,

298
00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:04.940
that's going to be their problem.

299
00:15:05.060 --> 00:15:05.520
Not mine.

300
00:15:05.860 --> 00:15:08.400
So I'm not, I don't go with that whole round that says you're

301
00:15:08.400 --> 00:15:09.280
married the whole family.

302
00:15:09.460 --> 00:15:10.440
There's not in this case.

303
00:15:11.100 --> 00:15:11.820
I'm not.

304
00:15:12.460 --> 00:15:12.460


305
00:15:13.500 --> 00:15:14.200
Yeah, no.

306
00:15:14.220 --> 00:15:17.440
I mean, in an, in an ideal sense, I mean, that sounds great.

307
00:15:17.540 --> 00:15:17.960
You're right.

308
00:15:18.260 --> 00:15:19.060
Like that sounds good.

309
00:15:19.060 --> 00:15:20.960
Oh, we're marrying the whole family and everybody's going to get

310
00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:24.200
along and everything, and I'm like, yeah, that sounds really good when it does.

311
00:15:24.740 --> 00:15:25.100
Yeah.

312
00:15:25.100 --> 00:15:29.400
But then when it doesn't, it's just like, you know, I mean, there's, it

313
00:15:29.400 --> 00:15:33.300
does go both ways because we've had, you know, at our blended family,

314
00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:34.780
we're blended family situation.

315
00:15:35.640 --> 00:15:43.120
Matter of fact, um, my wife, Jackie, y'all know, um, was texting with my

316
00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:47.560
ex-wife today, uh, regarding Christmas, just like, because we're going back

317
00:15:47.560 --> 00:15:51.000
home and there's some things, and sometimes she does like, Hey, are you

318
00:15:51.000 --> 00:15:52.920
doing like a Christmas Eve?

319
00:15:53.040 --> 00:15:53.940
My ex-wife does.

320
00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:55.480
So we go over there for Christmas Eve.

321
00:15:56.120 --> 00:15:59.780
Um, and so we have an amicable relationship, you know, and her

322
00:15:59.780 --> 00:16:03.820
husband's going through some, some hip problems, some like medical issues right

323
00:16:03.820 --> 00:16:07.500
now, and we're just like really praying for him, by the way, we do want to keep

324
00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:12.180
Chris and that's, his name is Chris with a K, uh, keep him in prayer.

325
00:16:12.660 --> 00:16:16.800
He's had hip surgery and he's having hip failure again.

326
00:16:16.800 --> 00:16:19.900
I think he, I'm not sure if it's in the other hip or if it's in the

327
00:16:19.900 --> 00:16:21.000
hip that he already had surgery.

328
00:16:21.060 --> 00:16:25.040
I'm not, can't really, not really sure about that, but he needs another surgery

329
00:16:25.040 --> 00:16:27.160
and can't get it until like three months from now.

330
00:16:27.700 --> 00:16:31.000
And so we're just really praying for him to have an open spot.

331
00:16:31.060 --> 00:16:33.500
That's something that would open up, that would change in his situation.

332
00:16:33.900 --> 00:16:37.360
And of course that he would be just, you know, healed and out of pain.

333
00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:42.700
But you know, my heart really goes out to him, but like I said, you know, it's

334
00:16:42.700 --> 00:16:47.480
taken us a moment to really build that relationship back to where it's like

335
00:16:47.420 --> 00:16:52.660
this, but at the same time, you know, we have a blended family and we all do.

336
00:16:53.820 --> 00:16:58.980
Um, love and support and love to be together and all that her kids, my kids,

337
00:16:59.140 --> 00:17:00.260
you know, that kind of thing.

338
00:17:00.820 --> 00:17:02.800
And, but we've worked hard to do that.

339
00:17:02.800 --> 00:17:05.579
And they were young when we, when we were able to do that.

340
00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:09.859
And with adult children, that may not necessarily always be the case.

341
00:17:10.460 --> 00:17:13.180
And you're right at this stage in your life.

342
00:17:13.180 --> 00:17:20.300
I mean, for that to be such a large issue is unfortunate, you know, and I feel you

343
00:17:20.300 --> 00:17:20.640
on that.

344
00:17:20.859 --> 00:17:24.119
I feel you on that because it shouldn't have to be, I guess, necessarily,

345
00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:26.000
especially at this stage.

346
00:17:27.099 --> 00:17:29.500
No, because she's not getting any younger either.

347
00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:32.420
And she was, her kids are going to be looking at from where she gets older.

348
00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:34.100
But I do have another question to ask you.

349
00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:36.620
Maybe all the guys could relate to this one.

350
00:17:38.500 --> 00:17:44.660
How much do you actually talk about a situation where like Catherine does

351
00:17:45.320 --> 00:17:47.060
something which is not cool.

352
00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:50.000
And, but it's like my ex-wife.

353
00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:53.700
How much can you actually say, Hey, my ex-wife used to do that.

354
00:17:53.780 --> 00:17:55.500
And that's a trigger point for me.

355
00:17:56.160 --> 00:18:02.320
I mean, I wouldn't bring it up every single time that that conversation

356
00:18:03.100 --> 00:18:09.160
happens or is happening because one of two things, first of all, is it worth

357
00:18:09.540 --> 00:18:15.240
mentioning for clarification at some point, maybe like the first time if it

358
00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:19.740
gets mentioned, if you have that much forethought to understand, Hey, oh, this

359
00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:20.980
is why this is triggering me.

360
00:18:21.540 --> 00:18:26.320
Sometimes if you have that conversation about, Hey, this thing bothers me.

361
00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:30.620
And you're not equating it with something that was from a previous relationship.

362
00:18:30.620 --> 00:18:34.300
And you didn't know that in the moment to say that, then that's one thing.

363
00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:41.120
But if you're aware of that in the moment to say that, obviously you're going to

364
00:18:41.120 --> 00:18:47.700
bring that up in a very, very tender way, very compassionate way, very like, you

365
00:18:47.700 --> 00:18:50.880
know, just, we're just talking this out sort of scenario, obviously you don't

366
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:55.980
want to be throwing that into a mixed of a heated emotional exchange.

367
00:18:56.100 --> 00:18:59.620
But at the same time, when you have the moment to have the real conversation,

368
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:05.660
mentioning that as a point of like, Hey, just so you know, I think this is what

369
00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:12.960
happens when, um, when this behavior occurs in our relationship, I might

370
00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:14.500
be being triggered in this way.

371
00:19:14.800 --> 00:19:17.000
So, so she's aware of that.

372
00:19:17.780 --> 00:19:23.340
Bringing that up every time you have that, because at some point, it's not

373
00:19:23.340 --> 00:19:25.300
about the past relationship anymore.

374
00:19:25.700 --> 00:19:27.400
It's about this relationship.

375
00:19:28.380 --> 00:19:32.860
So it's just like, you know, yeah, it may still be triggering for you, but the

376
00:19:32.860 --> 00:19:38.320
fact that you've mentioned and brought it up is helpful, um, for her understanding.

377
00:19:38.320 --> 00:19:42.900
But then once that point is made, probably don't make that the point, probably

378
00:19:43.700 --> 00:19:46.800
make the behavior itself the point.

379
00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:52.680
So it's kind of like, um, now that I mentioned that either in the last

380
00:19:52.840 --> 00:19:57.040
conversation or whatever, this is happening again, let's talk about us.

381
00:19:57.160 --> 00:19:59.980
Let's talk about, you know, when you do that or when.

382
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.820
This is said, or how this is said that, you know, that really affects me this way.

383
00:20:05.600 --> 00:20:09.740
Not mentioning the past, but just mention staying in the, staying

384
00:20:09.740 --> 00:20:12.420
in the present of like, yeah.

385
00:20:12.740 --> 00:20:13.080
Oh, good.

386
00:20:13.260 --> 00:20:14.020
That's a good point.

387
00:20:14.440 --> 00:20:14.620
Appreciate it.

388
00:20:14.680 --> 00:20:16.600
I don't want to keep up the time on that one thing.

389
00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:18.860
It makes sense.

390
00:20:18.980 --> 00:20:19.860
Thanks so much, Dave.

391
00:20:19.900 --> 00:20:20.120
Yeah.

392
00:20:20.120 --> 00:20:20.260
Yeah.

393
00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:20.920
Yeah.

394
00:20:21.240 --> 00:20:21.940
All right, guys.

395
00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:26.520
Um, I believe, um, just looking through here.

396
00:20:28.060 --> 00:20:28.500
Uh,

397
00:20:29.520 --> 00:20:32.760
Hey, Paul, how are you now?

398
00:20:33.180 --> 00:20:34.220
Paul, are you new?

399
00:20:34.560 --> 00:20:35.240
Uh, is this your first time?

400
00:20:40.900 --> 00:20:43.120
Hey, you're not, you're still muted there.

401
00:20:43.260 --> 00:20:45.980
If you can, uh, unmute

402
00:20:51.520 --> 00:20:52.780
while he's figuring that out.

403
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:56.540
We'll try to just let us know when you get unmuted there, Paul.

404
00:20:56.580 --> 00:20:57.580
We can, so we can hear you.

405
00:20:58.500 --> 00:20:59.440
You've got to figure it out.

406
00:21:00.800 --> 00:21:02.340
Um, good to see Hunter.

407
00:21:02.820 --> 00:21:05.040
Good to see on here.

408
00:21:05.280 --> 00:21:06.240
We did it.

409
00:21:06.360 --> 00:21:08.440
There's something to be thankful for Ohio Michigan.

410
00:21:09.260 --> 00:21:10.260
That is true.

411
00:21:10.340 --> 00:21:13.060
I've got my high, but state Buckeyes hat on right here.

412
00:21:13.580 --> 00:21:20.140
It finally happened after four years of, uh, not a good times with that.

413
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:20.700
So yes.

414
00:21:20.700 --> 00:21:22.060
Thank you for mentioning that.

415
00:21:22.060 --> 00:21:23.440
Paul, you're unmuted there.

416
00:21:24.040 --> 00:21:24.560
Yeah.

417
00:21:24.780 --> 00:21:25.260
Okay.

418
00:21:25.860 --> 00:21:27.480
Oh, this is your first time.

419
00:21:27.740 --> 00:21:28.260
Yeah.

420
00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:28.840
Yeah.

421
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.260
David Wright told me about, uh, of course we used to be, uh, housemates

422
00:21:34.340 --> 00:21:36.880
back in Kingston, Ontario, 10 years ago.

423
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:37.800
So here we are.

424
00:21:39.100 --> 00:21:39.500
Great.

425
00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:40.160


426
00:21:40.500 --> 00:21:40.920
Well, welcome.

427
00:21:41.460 --> 00:21:43.640
Um, you know, this is our men's heart check-in.

428
00:21:43.760 --> 00:21:44.960
We do this every week on Mondays.

429
00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:47.620
Um, we do a lot of round tables.

430
00:21:47.760 --> 00:21:50.440
Sometimes we get into some specific topics, um, but we're just

431
00:21:50.440 --> 00:21:51.620
kind of just doing a check-in.

432
00:21:52.660 --> 00:21:57.060
Um, you know, just seeing, and a lot of us guys have been on here for a long,

433
00:21:57.060 --> 00:21:59.180
long time, some are new and so that's okay.

434
00:21:59.320 --> 00:22:01.820
We always want to give an opportunity for you to introduce yourself.

435
00:22:01.940 --> 00:22:07.060
So if you'd like to introduce yourself, um, kind of like where you're from,

436
00:22:07.760 --> 00:22:11.960
what you do and how you found out about the program, other than just

437
00:22:11.960 --> 00:22:13.600
the fact David mentioned to you.

438
00:22:13.940 --> 00:22:16.460
But, uh, so let us know what's, what's going on with you.

439
00:22:18.300 --> 00:22:18.520
Yeah.

440
00:22:18.520 --> 00:22:24.500
So, uh, 39 from Montreal, uh, Quebec, Canada, Quebec province.

441
00:22:26.940 --> 00:22:30.720
Um, yeah, I, um, I'm a landscaper.

442
00:22:30.860 --> 00:22:34.980
I used to be a teacher, went to university or, uh, become a teacher

443
00:22:35.940 --> 00:22:41.400
and, uh, taught high school math, phys ed, elementary music, but I stopped

444
00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:46.540
five years ago because around at the same time I started teaching, I

445
00:22:46.540 --> 00:22:47.960
wasn't getting full-time contracts.

446
00:22:48.060 --> 00:22:50.120
And so I felt like God led me to entrepreneurship.

447
00:22:51.760 --> 00:22:55.680
So 10 years have been, uh, at my own hedge trimming company.

448
00:22:55.800 --> 00:23:01.860
So we have a small team, but love outdoors and now it's November

449
00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:03.320
changing winter tires.

450
00:23:03.540 --> 00:23:08.440
So we kind of go dormant for five months and, uh, David called me.

451
00:23:08.500 --> 00:23:11.020
He's like, Paul, he's like, I felt like God told me to, to

452
00:23:11.020 --> 00:23:12.820
call you to take this course.

453
00:23:12.820 --> 00:23:14.100
And I'm like, that's so funny, David.

454
00:23:14.100 --> 00:23:15.340
I'm like, I just ended my season.

455
00:23:15.400 --> 00:23:17.240
He's like, I know God told me to call you today.

456
00:23:17.800 --> 00:23:18.480
That's awesome.

457
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:20.400
Um, okay.

458
00:23:20.580 --> 00:23:21.060
Awesome.

459
00:23:21.380 --> 00:23:23.180
Uh, we're glad to have you here.

460
00:23:23.520 --> 00:23:25.740
Are you, I'm assuming you're single.

461
00:23:25.800 --> 00:23:27.160
Is that correct or no?

462
00:23:27.660 --> 00:23:27.880
Yeah.

463
00:23:29.280 --> 00:23:32.500
And that's typically kind of what this program is about anyway.

464
00:23:32.500 --> 00:23:37.800
So I just wanted to make sure we said that just, uh, just for that sake.

465
00:23:37.820 --> 00:23:45.000
So, um, are you looking to, I mean, what is your previous marital status?

466
00:23:45.140 --> 00:23:45.780
Have you been married?

467
00:23:45.940 --> 00:23:47.380
Have you, you've never been married?

468
00:23:47.380 --> 00:23:48.860
What, what's, uh, what's up with that?

469
00:23:49.820 --> 00:23:52.080
Yeah, never been, never been married.

470
00:23:53.380 --> 00:23:53.820
Okay.

471
00:23:54.340 --> 00:24:00.300
Um, I think, I mean, yeah, I'll probably be on here, uh, for definitely a little,

472
00:24:00.300 --> 00:24:01.700
a little, a little while we'll see.

473
00:24:01.820 --> 00:24:06.380
But, um, I think just to jump into it, you know, I think girls have

474
00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:07.600
always kind of shown interest to me.

475
00:24:07.600 --> 00:24:10.420
I've always liked girls, but there's just been something kind of like

476
00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:13.260
blocking in terms of like pursuing a relationship.

477
00:24:13.260 --> 00:24:18.820
And when I have, I've just found like myself trying to like the gas going on,

478
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:23.840
but I feel like a big e-brake going on at the same time and doesn't, it doesn't

479
00:24:23.860 --> 00:24:28.460
feel good wanting to think that's normally you, or do you think that's

480
00:24:28.460 --> 00:24:29.260
normally the other person?

481
00:24:32.340 --> 00:24:32.780
Um,

482
00:24:36.260 --> 00:24:37.000
I don't know.

483
00:24:37.040 --> 00:24:39.780
I don't, I don't want to say like, uh, it's always interesting.

484
00:24:39.840 --> 00:24:42.100
The girls that I've really liked have not shown interest.

485
00:24:42.620 --> 00:24:47.680
And then the girls who put interest into me, I haven't really been that into you.

486
00:24:48.280 --> 00:24:50.740
So, I mean, there's that for sure.

487
00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:54.140
And, uh, that's one aspect.

488
00:24:56.880 --> 00:24:59.800
Um, but I appreciate it.

489
00:24:59.800 --> 00:24:59.980
I appreciate.

490
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.560
being transparent and uh so i mean so i kind of go deep kind of pretty quickly so i know you're

491
00:25:05.560 --> 00:25:11.720
new so i won't uh um i appreciate you saying that if you if you're wanting to go so we go

492
00:25:11.720 --> 00:25:15.880
a little bit deeper sometimes too on these calls and if you want to do that then you're certainly

493
00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:21.280
more than welcome to like press in a little deeper than that um so awesome well welcome

494
00:25:21.280 --> 00:25:26.640
thank you for um sharing and congratulations on your business entrepreneurship that's so cool i

495
00:25:26.840 --> 00:25:32.740
uh i'm an entrepreneur we're on we're jackie and i are both entrepreneurs and

496
00:25:33.460 --> 00:25:39.100
and several other guys on this call are entrepreneurs as well so really cool stuff

497
00:25:39.580 --> 00:25:41.160
so glad you're here

498
00:25:43.360 --> 00:25:50.220
okay who else got um it's got something to share um is that is that it paul

499
00:25:52.320 --> 00:26:00.200
yeah i think um oh i'll share i'll share this okay um it was anyways i'm working on a book

500
00:26:00.200 --> 00:26:05.400
it's it's been my testimony and i think the timing's interesting i guess one reason it's

501
00:26:05.400 --> 00:26:10.440
not just so much it's not so much that like david called me the timing's good but um about

502
00:26:10.900 --> 00:26:16.940
yeah 12 years ago god showed me like vividly and i don't get visions it was like prayer meeting

503
00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:22.440
like god showed me that i was wounded like massive wound like he showed me my leg absolutely

504
00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:27.320
wounded like as if my leg was like a a chicken leg and it's like that first bite like that's what

505
00:26:27.320 --> 00:26:32.920
my leg looked like the first bite oh wow yeah and i didn't feel it i didn't i never made a connection

506
00:26:33.300 --> 00:26:40.540
but god showed me like i had i was covering it with like pornography like band-aids and so um

507
00:26:41.100 --> 00:26:46.240
a big part of like my story was like my pornography went down like 90 percent at that

508
00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:51.840
time and pretty much stopped after like two years two three years after that and i was like 2013

509
00:26:52.460 --> 00:26:56.920
so i always thought i had a problem with pornography and then god showed me through

510
00:26:56.920 --> 00:27:02.360
the image without saying a word he's like it's actually pornography is not your problem

511
00:27:02.520 --> 00:27:08.900
he's like pornography is your really really poor solution to the woundedness like that's what like

512
00:27:08.900 --> 00:27:16.020
the band-aids because it's like even me even i was saying i'm like you need like a hundred

513
00:27:16.080 --> 00:27:22.820
band-aids to cover this wound and even then like band-aids don't even work like i was saying that

514
00:27:22.820 --> 00:27:28.680
just based off of what god was revealing but it's interesting what he said and i'll kind of end i'll

515
00:27:28.680 --> 00:27:35.120
taper with this you know god told me he's like let's have a look at this and so even though i

516
00:27:35.120 --> 00:27:39.940
know in the last like you know it's still a lot of like lust but pornography i can't even remember

517
00:27:39.940 --> 00:27:47.700
the last time i looked but i was always curious because i said god god never said oh now you're

518
00:27:47.960 --> 00:27:53.060
healed he said let's have a look at this and if i'm truthful like i don't i still don't know what

519
00:27:53.060 --> 00:27:58.500
that is and so just reading the first chapter of the book and it's like i think jackie's words were

520
00:27:58.500 --> 00:28:05.940
and so i'm like oh i'm like this is why i'm here like god really wants he doesn't want to say okay

521
00:28:05.940 --> 00:28:12.220
you're healed go off like i feel like god really wants to like the words let's have a look at this

522
00:28:12.220 --> 00:28:18.820
is like discussion talk it out and i'm like no just heal me like let's go yeah yeah yeah yeah

523
00:28:19.850 --> 00:28:29.650
that's super good um i i like to i like to hear that so i i i i uh i really glad that you said

524
00:28:29.650 --> 00:28:33.430
that in terms of like you're getting this understanding of process that's something

525
00:28:33.430 --> 00:28:40.670
that we don't get a lot of in our culture we don't get a lot of it in church in religion

526
00:28:40.670 --> 00:28:46.830
we don't get a lot of it just in the western culture because everything is microwave society

527
00:28:46.830 --> 00:28:53.070
everything has to be instance uh every process needs to be now we are not patient at all

528
00:28:54.550 --> 00:29:01.890
to just walk through the season walk through the process walk through the necessary rudiments to be

529
00:29:01.890 --> 00:29:08.730
able to have understanding because you know um you know you've heard probably heard the phrase

530
00:29:08.730 --> 00:29:12.630
before you know your problem's not really the problem you know type thing so that's kind of

531
00:29:12.630 --> 00:29:15.550
like what you're coming up against with this issue you're like yeah that's not really the

532
00:29:15.710 --> 00:29:19.690
problem like you may think it's the problem but it's not really the problem like the core of the

533
00:29:19.690 --> 00:29:25.530
issue is you know something that's very universal that's why you know what i was talking about

534
00:29:25.530 --> 00:29:31.150
earlier like the focus on sin for instance like sin isn't your problem it's the heart condition

535
00:29:31.150 --> 00:29:36.770
that leads you to the behavior that ends up being sin that is the issue and so if we can get to the

536
00:29:36.770 --> 00:29:43.690
heart of the problem the you know the the part of the human problem is the problem of the human

537
00:29:43.690 --> 00:29:48.550
heart my pastor used to say that the heart of the problem is the problem with the human heart

538
00:29:48.850 --> 00:29:55.450
that is the issue that is the core of the issue it's like we can get down to the heart issues

539
00:29:55.990 --> 00:29:59.970
then it's just like yeah it is it can't be seemingly quick

540
00:30:00.820 --> 00:30:12.260
Because you go through your process and then one day you realize like, oh my gosh, that's not an issue anymore, you know, then it almost seems like a suddenly, but it really wasn't. You were just willing to go through a process to get to that point.

541
00:30:13.560 --> 00:30:22.760
And God does amazing things were willing to you like that, but I love the fact that you're talking about. Let's have a discussion about you just say discussions that what you said.

542
00:30:23.660 --> 00:30:52.720
Yeah, like I knew it was it wasn't the words I was expecting is like, let's have a look at this. Like it was like, have a look at this.

543
00:30:53.540 --> 00:31:13.420
Circumstance, not just like your situation of like, you know, like me, like, oh, I'm really hurt. I need you, God, but in the most depraved environment and dark night of the soul that you are experiencing in the midst of the mess in the midst of the ick.

544
00:31:13.420 --> 00:31:17.020
And you can have an honest conversation with God.

545
00:31:18.260 --> 00:31:25.360
That's progress, because at that point, now you're not ignoring him in this wickedness, in this depravity.

546
00:31:26.100 --> 00:31:31.240
You're actually being sincere enough to have a conversation to go, okay, this is not really the issue.

547
00:31:32.140 --> 00:31:39.940
I really feel bad about myself, really feel bad about, you know, where I'm at, what, you know, what's going on around me in the moment.

548
00:31:41.180 --> 00:31:45.260
And now I'm willing to have a conversation about it, even in that moment.

549
00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:52.980
That is a powerful thing that can be a powerful step to the deliverance process.

550
00:31:53.520 --> 00:31:55.220
So anyway, I just think that's interesting.

551
00:31:55.640 --> 00:31:56.920
Thank you for sharing, Paul.

552
00:31:56.920 --> 00:31:57.860
I really appreciate that.

553
00:31:58.060 --> 00:31:58.960
Thank you for being transparent.

554
00:32:00.820 --> 00:32:02.680
Mike, you have your hand up, brother.

555
00:32:03.220 --> 00:32:03.940
Go ahead and share with us.

556
00:32:06.790 --> 00:32:10.490
Well, I mean, I just want to get to the root of the problem, right?

557
00:32:10.490 --> 00:32:12.370
Like you said, the problem isn't the problem.

558
00:32:12.510 --> 00:32:13.350
The root is the problem.

559
00:32:13.730 --> 00:32:15.710
The root is causing the problem of the problem.

560
00:32:16.070 --> 00:32:17.490
And people are like, I have an issue with porn.

561
00:32:17.550 --> 00:32:19.630
I'm like, you know, you don't have an issue with porn.

562
00:32:19.710 --> 00:32:21.450
You have another issue that's causing you to go to porn.

563
00:32:21.570 --> 00:32:23.770
So, I mean, I think that's such a good, so good.

564
00:32:24.550 --> 00:32:27.270
So I have a question.

565
00:32:27.470 --> 00:32:28.490
I suck at dating.

566
00:32:28.730 --> 00:32:29.530
I'm getting better.

567
00:32:29.530 --> 00:32:38.570
But there's a gal in my life that when we're together in community, there's a spark.

568
00:32:38.850 --> 00:32:39.310
There's chemistry.

569
00:32:39.670 --> 00:32:40.230
There's connection.

570
00:32:41.030 --> 00:32:44.450
But then I've been trying.

571
00:32:45.270 --> 00:32:48.730
So it's like one of us has been a month, right?

572
00:32:48.730 --> 00:32:50.450
Not a lot of reciprocation.

573
00:32:50.990 --> 00:32:52.510
And I'm like, I don't know.

574
00:32:53.430 --> 00:32:56.550
Should I just not worry about it and keep progressing forward?

575
00:32:56.550 --> 00:33:00.850
I'm like, I have all these ladies who are like, hey, let's go.

576
00:33:01.070 --> 00:33:03.650
And then I have this one that's like, you know, slow to move.

577
00:33:04.170 --> 00:33:04.610
Right?

578
00:33:04.750 --> 00:33:08.590
And so, like, but when we're together, I dig her.

579
00:33:09.850 --> 00:33:11.270
You know, I don't know how we fit.

580
00:33:11.490 --> 00:33:14.170
I mean, I don't know how we fit spiritually.

581
00:33:14.790 --> 00:33:17.930
I mean, she's in a prophetic group with me.

582
00:33:18.710 --> 00:33:25.530
But every gal that I've ever seen or interacted with, I could see how our gift mix is intertwined.

583
00:33:25.530 --> 00:33:27.130
And this one I don't have.

584
00:33:27.350 --> 00:33:28.830
So anyways, I'm just open for ideas.

585
00:33:30.310 --> 00:33:32.230
I like my thing is like we're in community.

586
00:33:32.370 --> 00:33:37.850
Maybe I should just bail and let it go because I don't see and I'm not seeing what I want.

587
00:33:37.990 --> 00:33:42.690
Or is that me just being avoidant or should I just let it play out?

588
00:33:42.710 --> 00:33:43.430
Does that make sense?

589
00:33:43.810 --> 00:33:47.130
You know, should I continue to give us more time or should I just.

590
00:33:47.950 --> 00:33:47.950


591
00:33:48.570 --> 00:33:48.970
Yeah.

592
00:33:49.130 --> 00:33:50.550
No, it makes sense.

593
00:33:51.250 --> 00:33:51.650
Anybody.

594
00:33:53.350 --> 00:33:56.470
You know, I always have something to say about stuff, so I'm just trying to.

595
00:33:57.290 --> 00:33:59.910
I'm just trying to get the floor to you.

596
00:33:59.910 --> 00:34:03.190
Mike, when you say reciprocating, what do you mean?

597
00:34:04.210 --> 00:34:05.730
Like, can you have an example of a scenario?

598
00:34:05.950 --> 00:34:08.989
Well, I was like, I was like, I was like, hey, you know what?

599
00:34:09.230 --> 00:34:10.630
If you want to go do this, go do that.

600
00:34:10.710 --> 00:34:11.989
And then there's just been no.

601
00:34:14.150 --> 00:34:21.630
I mean, it's a little more complicated situation, but like there's been like I just have been invited into my life.

602
00:34:21.630 --> 00:34:23.310
But I haven't got the invitation back.

603
00:34:23.449 --> 00:34:26.370
But then when we're in community together, it's great.

604
00:34:26.570 --> 00:34:28.449
And I don't get the juxtaposition.

605
00:34:28.969 --> 00:34:31.949
It's like a it's a Jekyll Hyde thing.

606
00:34:32.830 --> 00:34:34.449
And this is probably a little.

607
00:34:35.330 --> 00:34:37.730
It's very different when I'm trying to.

608
00:34:38.150 --> 00:34:39.290
And maybe she doesn't feel.

609
00:34:39.449 --> 00:34:40.409
I mean, she should feel safe.

610
00:34:40.469 --> 00:34:41.530
We've known each other for two years.

611
00:34:41.550 --> 00:34:42.030
Right.

612
00:34:42.489 --> 00:34:47.610
But it's just different when we're in community than it is when I'm like texting.

613
00:34:48.130 --> 00:34:50.810
I was like, hey, I'd like to I'd like to have more of you in my life.

614
00:34:50.810 --> 00:34:52.770
She's like, you have my number.

615
00:34:53.030 --> 00:34:56.730
Right. And so then I got her number and I'm trying to connect with her and it just hasn't worked out.

616
00:34:57.030 --> 00:34:59.910
And she's a single mom and is going through stuff.

617
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.860
I want to be, so that's kind of the whole picture, you know, but she's only a single

618
00:35:07.860 --> 00:35:10.000
mom every other week, so.

619
00:35:11.100 --> 00:35:12.660
She knows you met romantically?

620
00:35:13.900 --> 00:35:20.140
Oh, I made it, I'm pretty clear, yeah, I was like, you know, I spelled it out.

621
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:22.320
I like being straightforward, right?

622
00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:27.520
And then she told me her Thursdays were available, but then crickets.

623
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:29.700
She's doing your hair.

624
00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:31.920
There you go.

625
00:35:32.220 --> 00:35:38.160
So a couple things, I mean, yeah, a couple things that would be helpful.

626
00:35:39.040 --> 00:35:45.400
I think, it feels like you're doing the right things, you know, you're being in proximity,

627
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:51.380
you know, so you know her on a level one because you know who she is, you know her name, she

628
00:35:51.380 --> 00:35:53.100
knows you, that's, you know.

629
00:35:54.020 --> 00:35:59.460
And then you pursued, and then it hasn't, for whatever, logistically worked out.

630
00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:06.860
I feel like maybe she feels, this could be her truth, I don't know, I don't know her,

631
00:36:07.180 --> 00:36:12.260
and I don't know your interaction with her, I don't know what that looks like in community.

632
00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:22.220
I feel like maybe she feels safe in the community aspect, but for whatever reason on the one-on-one

633
00:36:22.220 --> 00:36:28.220
aspect, she doesn't, she's not confident of what she wants out of that.

634
00:36:28.700 --> 00:36:34.940
And the helpful thing would be for her just to realize, hey, this guy is actually pursuing

635
00:36:35.460 --> 00:36:42.220
me, you know, it's okay, because it's, there's nothing wrong with a guy pursuing a woman

636
00:36:42.220 --> 00:36:46.380
like, hey, I just want to let you know, I'm just, you know, state my intentions or having

637
00:36:46.380 --> 00:36:50.480
done that over time, asked her out, whatever, and then give no reciprocation.

638
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:56.100
It would be actually pretty valuable and honorable for her to be able just to let you know one

639
00:36:56.100 --> 00:37:02.340
way or another, you know, yes, I'm interested, no, I'm not interested in that way, because

640
00:37:02.340 --> 00:37:09.420
if it's that obvious, she should reciprocate one way or the other, especially given the

641
00:37:09.420 --> 00:37:09.960
amount of time.

642
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:15.320
Like, if it was a day or two or a week, you know, something like that, and she's like

643
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:18.700
trying to consider, and there's no, that'd be one thing.

644
00:37:18.720 --> 00:37:24.480
But if it was multiple times, you've known her for two years, this has happened over

645
00:37:24.480 --> 00:37:29.180
a period of, you know, whatever time that you have let her know this, I mean, yeah,

646
00:37:29.180 --> 00:37:34.080
she should, by this point, at least have the decency to go, hey, you know, I appreciate

647
00:37:34.080 --> 00:37:38.160
your efforts and all that, I'm just really not interested in that way, and just let you

648
00:37:38.160 --> 00:37:43.760
know that, so that you don't continue on with this pursuit that may or may not go anywhere.

649
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:51.120
But at the same time, if she's open to it, it may just be for whatever reason, maybe

650
00:37:51.120 --> 00:37:54.560
just something you don't know in terms of just her comfort level.

651
00:37:54.860 --> 00:38:05.080
If she is open to it, and she would like that with you, and like to spend time, I'm not

652
00:38:05.080 --> 00:38:08.560
sure there's really anything more you can do about that either, because you don't want

653
00:38:08.560 --> 00:38:15.140
to press that issue, you don't want to feel like, hey, you know, try harder type thing,

654
00:38:15.220 --> 00:38:20.060
you know, that comes across as sort of not so great.

655
00:38:20.460 --> 00:38:24.860
But at the same time, you can say, hey, you know, I've been asking you out, or I've asked

656
00:38:24.860 --> 00:38:29.760
you out three times or whatever, there hasn't been any response, or it doesn't seem like

657
00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:30.460
you're interested.

658
00:38:30.900 --> 00:38:36.020
I just want to let you know, it's okay to tell me if you're not interested, you know,

659
00:38:36.020 --> 00:38:37.580
and then just leave it at that.

660
00:38:37.800 --> 00:38:40.120
And then maybe you'll get a solid answer.

661
00:38:40.320 --> 00:38:42.780
But it's one way or the other, it can't be...

662
00:38:43.580 --> 00:38:44.840
That's kind of what's my thing.

663
00:38:44.940 --> 00:38:49.080
I mean, she sits within a foot of me every time I sit down, right, you know, like, so

664
00:38:49.100 --> 00:38:49.980
she's like...

665
00:38:49.980 --> 00:38:50.640
And she comes to you.

666
00:38:51.140 --> 00:38:51.880
Yeah, right.

667
00:38:51.880 --> 00:38:57.100
And so it's just the whole thing is like, you know, I'm not, this is not my area of

668
00:38:57.160 --> 00:39:03.560
expertise, but like everything, when we're in community is like, we're just, we connect,

669
00:39:03.560 --> 00:39:08.260
we gel, we whatever, but then outside of it, it's not.

670
00:39:08.740 --> 00:39:12.380
So all right, no, I just was just running that, because part of me is just like, I just

671
00:39:12.380 --> 00:39:12.720
don't care.

672
00:39:12.720 --> 00:39:13.440
I don't care anymore.

673
00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:14.140
Right.

674
00:39:14.140 --> 00:39:15.160
But I do dig it.

675
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:16.160
Ignore her.

676
00:39:16.160 --> 00:39:20.080
Not ignore her, but what I'm saying, think about it.

677
00:39:20.080 --> 00:39:21.240
This is what I do too.

678
00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:27.400
Like, okay, if I text someone, or someone texts me and I'm not really interested, I'm

679
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:28.320
slow to respond.

680
00:39:29.340 --> 00:39:33.620
Because I'm not, I'm just like, oh, man, I feel obligated because they just text me.

681
00:39:34.780 --> 00:39:36.880
You know, I wish they wouldn't have text me, kind of.

682
00:39:37.860 --> 00:39:42.840
And so, I mean, if it's easy, I mean, you were saying you got other women who, you know,

683
00:39:43.020 --> 00:39:45.360
would be, you know, interested in you.

684
00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:47.440
But if it's like easy and you're like, no.

685
00:39:48.740 --> 00:39:53.260
So you kind of been, it sounds like you're kind of like, you got it laid out.

686
00:39:53.340 --> 00:39:54.900
Women don't want to hear it all laid out.

687
00:39:54.900 --> 00:39:59.980
They deal with like, how you make them feel and emotions and, and mystery.

688
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.200
And everything else when you lay it on the table and even like if you some girl said oh, I really like you

689
00:40:05.200 --> 00:40:09.020
I went you're just like yeah, okay, you know and there's no

690
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:12.380
So just kind of maybe don't

691
00:40:13.180 --> 00:40:17.960
If she comes sits by you go maybe get up and do some other stuff moves and just life

692
00:40:18.880 --> 00:40:24.340
You know and it's her choice. Maybe she's afraid that to get in a relationship or something

693
00:40:24.340 --> 00:40:28.900
But if you really want to be with someone you make time and you respond quickly

694
00:40:28.900 --> 00:40:30.660
You know, yeah

695
00:40:31.600 --> 00:40:32.080
Yeah

696
00:40:32.120 --> 00:40:39.140
There's always the movie script like John's talking about like you can be like the brooding like, you know quiet

697
00:40:39.260 --> 00:40:42.860
Like, you know just over in the corner cool guy. That's just like, you know, like

698
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:49.700
Seemingly unavailable, you know, that's just so attractive to like, you know, I mean you could try a little bit of that

699
00:40:49.800 --> 00:40:52.340
You know, I don't know if that will work

700
00:40:53.780 --> 00:40:58.680
Most of women's attractions in their head and the story that they create true. Yeah, you know what I mean?

701
00:40:58.720 --> 00:41:00.760
And they just drive off that otherwise

702
00:41:01.260 --> 00:41:05.900
If it's easy and stuff, there's no they don't have any story that they're making

703
00:41:06.980 --> 00:41:09.660
Yeah, so cool. Thanks. Yes. Yeah, I

704
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:12.420
Think you've got to use the word date

705
00:41:12.420 --> 00:41:15.360
Like just say like like make sure when you're talking to her say like hey

706
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:19.960
Do you want to go on a date and just like like make it simple like nothing crazy like oh, let's go for a walk

707
00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:26.420
But I find if you use the word date because you're so friendly. She might just think oh Mike is so friendly

708
00:41:26.840 --> 00:41:34.420
Right now trust me. There's there is no there there can be no can I don't leave room for confusion because I that's that's kind

709
00:41:34.420 --> 00:41:39.700
Of a douchebag kind of thing to do. I don't know like, you know, sorry, whatever

710
00:41:40.200 --> 00:41:45.700
But like I just I know I have a lot of ladies who guys string them along and that's not something I will do

711
00:41:45.700 --> 00:41:51.380
Right, right like in situationships, it just drives me crazy and so I will not be that dude

712
00:41:51.380 --> 00:41:55.480
Hey, wait, those ladies are probably obsessed over those guys too. And that's all they think about

713
00:41:58.520 --> 00:42:04.440
Broken and you know, and so and like but they're also like I don't really really want those kind of ladies either

714
00:42:05.680 --> 00:42:09.780
I want somebody with their crap together. Who is it? Like smoke swaying by

715
00:42:10.500 --> 00:42:14.460
But I do I do hear what you're saying John about the whole intrigue and all that stuff

716
00:42:14.460 --> 00:42:17.180
But it is kind of hard when you don't want to pee in your own pool

717
00:42:18.900 --> 00:42:22.780
Right, you know like you know, like I mean like because you've been friends for a while

718
00:42:23.100 --> 00:42:27.660
This is a small group a really tight a really tight small group, right? And so

719
00:42:29.080 --> 00:42:31.300
Yeah, thanks for your insight. Yeah

720
00:42:31.900 --> 00:42:38.320
Thoughts to is that it's tight. And so she doesn't wanna I I don't wanna I don't want to throw another like direction in this

721
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:42.460
But anyway, I just thought it's out there. Do you is there is there a wing person involved?

722
00:42:43.680 --> 00:42:49.720
Trying to get involved, but I'm like, I just I figure she should be reciprocating without me having to enlist a wing person

723
00:42:49.720 --> 00:42:52.540
Well, absolutely thousand percent. I just thought I'm just

724
00:42:53.780 --> 00:42:59.680
So there's somebody trying to be my wing woman, right and I'm like, I don't know if I want that

725
00:42:59.860 --> 00:43:06.080
Not the introduction part but sort of just like the friggin like what's her? What's her deal part Intel Intel?

726
00:43:07.780 --> 00:43:12.300
well, basically like so so my friends are doing it but they do events and

727
00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:16.500
and she's like well, I need your help Wednesday so you can and and

728
00:43:17.540 --> 00:43:21.400
She's gonna be there and I'm like I could give us a crap right now

729
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:27.900
I was like Thursday was the day we were supposed to hang out and now you're putting her to work

730
00:43:27.960 --> 00:43:32.960
I'm like, okay. She's like, well, I'm setting you up and I'm like, yeah, I didn't want to be set up

731
00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:36.340
But anyways, so I'm a little kind of perturbed about the yeah

732
00:43:37.880 --> 00:43:38.640
the winginess

733
00:43:39.180 --> 00:43:39.540
Yeah

734
00:43:40.720 --> 00:43:45.320
Yeah, now the response back to the wing person. This is like hey, that's kind of cool

735
00:43:45.320 --> 00:43:51.560
She's gonna be there. But I mean if you know this person that well, and they're you're they're your real friend

736
00:43:51.560 --> 00:43:54.020
I mean one of my best friends. Yeah, bro

737
00:43:54.920 --> 00:43:58.260
Like I asked her out on Thursday now you put into works like serious

738
00:43:58.260 --> 00:44:02.140
I mean, I just want to go on a date, but if she didn't seem like she wants to so I don't know

739
00:44:02.140 --> 00:44:03.380
What's going on with that?

740
00:44:04.060 --> 00:44:04.420
so

741
00:44:05.080 --> 00:44:06.200
you know usually

742
00:44:07.140 --> 00:44:13.860
That other person would be kind of like, oh, well, maybe I'll try to find out maybe you know, whatever you never know

743
00:44:13.940 --> 00:44:17.040
Yeah. Yeah, so, uh, I'll just I think I'm gonna let it ride

744
00:44:17.880 --> 00:44:19.920
Yeah, cuz I just was gonna blow it up

745
00:44:20.860 --> 00:44:25.540
Not blow it up as far as like or let it go. It's probably a better word, you know

746
00:44:25.620 --> 00:44:31.020
So anyways, thanks you guys and I just I'm like, you know, this isn't this isn't what I was looking for

747
00:44:31.020 --> 00:44:32.700
But I don't want to be impatient

748
00:44:32.700 --> 00:44:40.700
Yeah, yeah, you know, so thanks that's that's good stuff, um, I don't know who's next I think well on my screen

749
00:44:40.700 --> 00:44:43.780
It's Dave and then hunter and then David Henshaw. So Dave, right?

750
00:44:45.180 --> 00:44:48.220
Go ahead. All right. Sounds good. Can you hear me? Yeah

751
00:44:49.060 --> 00:44:56.260
Yeah, so I I had my phone call with Phoebe on last week and it went incredibly well

752
00:44:56.320 --> 00:44:59.640
like I was just kind of I was just focusing on you know, just kind of like

753
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.520
Like no agenda just kind of being focused, you know and like

754
00:45:04.640 --> 00:45:10.740
But yeah, she basically talked for the entire time and she just said I actually really like you. I really care about you

755
00:45:10.780 --> 00:45:11.520
I've missed you

756
00:45:11.520 --> 00:45:16.600
She said I've just gone through a horrible ordeal and I was really afraid and I didn't want to hurt you

757
00:45:16.660 --> 00:45:21.440
but I want you to know that I really really care about you. I've never felt this way about anybody before and

758
00:45:23.320 --> 00:45:26.120
Yeah, and then at the end the way it kind of ended was she's like

759
00:45:26.120 --> 00:45:29.360
Oh like is there anything else you want to ask me and I said no, you know

760
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:34.220
Like I I said, I have no secret agenda here and she said really and I said, yeah

761
00:45:34.220 --> 00:45:40.700
She said Dave that means so much to me and she said just watching you grow has meant the world to me

762
00:45:40.700 --> 00:45:43.880
She says you bring so much humor and light to this community

763
00:45:43.880 --> 00:45:48.760
And she's like you've been just been such a blessing and she's like honestly, it's been amazing watching you grow

764
00:45:50.500 --> 00:45:52.580
Wow, that's huge man. That's awesome

765
00:45:53.240 --> 00:45:58.120
Yeah, I I didn't see that one coming David. So you feel good about that?

766
00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:04.160
In the sense of like, okay what you were worried about before. I mean, it's pretty strong

767
00:46:04.900 --> 00:46:10.600
What we what you're worried about before is not so much because it's a smarter understanding here coming in

768
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:18.540
Yeah, I think with Phoebe it's always the push and pull right so she'll like write me a letter saying I care about you so

769
00:46:18.540 --> 00:46:23.940
Much and then she'll be like actually I don't care about you at all. Right? So there's always that dynamic with her

770
00:46:24.440 --> 00:46:26.520
and so this time my plan is to just

771
00:46:27.580 --> 00:46:32.660
After this I was just gonna text her and be like hey like do you have like 15 minutes maybe midweek to just

772
00:46:32.900 --> 00:46:37.760
Talk and then during that talk. I was gonna say like hey like on the 18th or the 17th

773
00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:39.280
Do you want to meet because she lives two hours away?

774
00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:42.600
do you want to meet halfway for a one-hour walk and then

775
00:46:43.260 --> 00:46:46.340
After that, my plan was kind of be maybe just text her three times a week

776
00:46:47.020 --> 00:46:50.720
Like half-hour video call, but just keep it slow not overwhelm her

777
00:46:53.300 --> 00:46:59.200
Okay, but you didn't have anything to say about that because she talked all the time

778
00:46:59.420 --> 00:47:05.780
Which maybe yeah, it's just her getting that off of her mind off of her heart and being able to let you know that

779
00:47:05.780 --> 00:47:10.880
And you were appreciative of that and you didn't push any other agenda, which is pretty honorable. That's pretty powerful

780
00:47:12.360 --> 00:47:12.800
Yeah

781
00:47:13.600 --> 00:47:17.000
So in that case like my wife says this to me all the time

782
00:47:17.000 --> 00:47:19.360
She goes you are

783
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:26.800
Prioritizing your agenda over relationship. And so in that case you prioritize relationship over agenda and

784
00:47:28.660 --> 00:47:37.180
That is a healthy thing especially for women, you know for them to hear to like basically she surprises like oh my gosh

785
00:47:37.180 --> 00:47:41.260
You don't have anything like no and so that did speak volumes of her

786
00:47:41.260 --> 00:47:45.520
Maybe that will really open that up to something more

787
00:47:46.080 --> 00:47:54.020
For you, yeah, baby steps, that's powerful. That's good. Yeah, I love that. That's maturity. That's growth. That's awesome

788
00:47:55.200 --> 00:48:00.360
Thanks for sharing Dave. Um, go ahead. I don't know somehow hunter and David switch places

789
00:48:00.360 --> 00:48:02.760
But I said go ahead hunter and then we'll go to David

790
00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:07.280
Well, I want to talk about more about the trip

791
00:48:07.600 --> 00:48:12.820
About my trip abroad because I was as I saw David I was honing my social skills

792
00:48:12.820 --> 00:48:19.140
So I met some so when we were abroad I went I met there are five young adults including me

793
00:48:19.140 --> 00:48:25.980
There was one girl at church. There's two and three and then there was there were two other women that were

794
00:48:26.200 --> 00:48:32.160
from that were from a day that came and joined our group and then one of them was

795
00:48:32.220 --> 00:48:39.580
Alicia the others Alicia and the others amber who met us up from JFK and we all and we all flew abroad

796
00:48:39.580 --> 00:48:44.040
And of course, I tried to say okay hunter be the best version of yourself

797
00:48:44.180 --> 00:48:49.580
Think about how you want to be treated and it went good and we matched to be in a level one

798
00:48:49.640 --> 00:48:55.180
one or two of them I went I managed to be in a nice level to level one relationship and

799
00:48:55.360 --> 00:48:58.660
Over time as the year went by we end up being level two

800
00:48:58.660 --> 00:49:03.700
With some of them and then there was one girl who's going through stuff that has a heart

801
00:49:03.700 --> 00:49:08.860
She went alone and she's the only one who's alone is not with the group. She doesn't go to our church

802
00:49:08.860 --> 00:49:13.780
She's from South Jersey. And then there was one who is in who is it from?

803
00:49:14.520 --> 00:49:19.040
Pennsylvania on the border at the Maryland, Pennsylvania border this one girl was

804
00:49:19.380 --> 00:49:24.960
Alicia when we met she goes, alright, so you're not gonna go look you're not gonna make happen

805
00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:28.560
You're just gonna go try to build some intimacy. That's something you can't get in pornography

806
00:49:28.560 --> 00:49:32.660
You want to you want to do some intimacy because that's what everybody wants

807
00:49:32.660 --> 00:49:38.020
So if that's what you if that's what they want, then that's what you want strive for that

808
00:49:38.020 --> 00:49:40.740
And then so I built a level two relationship

809
00:49:41.220 --> 00:49:42.080
with that

810
00:49:42.680 --> 00:49:46.660
After that and then I did with all those it's like it's okay if I ask for instance, okay

811
00:49:46.660 --> 00:49:47.720
So now it's like okay

812
00:49:47.840 --> 00:49:53.940
and then we try to eat and then we talk about the trip and about each other even on our way to the airport and

813
00:49:54.560 --> 00:49:59.980
Then there was one girl who has conditions. She has hard time sleeping and I was like, well look at your condition and

814
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.020
And I made a compliment, even though it was not harm,

815
00:50:02.100 --> 00:50:04.000
she takes it really, she got really offended.

816
00:50:04.340 --> 00:50:07.560
And then I just behaved naturally like I do,

817
00:50:07.720 --> 00:50:09.740
not like try to, not walk,

818
00:50:09.740 --> 00:50:11.880
look like I'm walking on eggshells.

819
00:50:11.880 --> 00:50:15.940
But then she, and then all of a sudden came to this.

820
00:50:16.220 --> 00:50:16.880
All of a sudden I told him,

821
00:50:16.900 --> 00:50:19.540
I'm just a guy who wants a break from my independence.

822
00:50:19.540 --> 00:50:21.640
Cause Alicia told me that she was,

823
00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:25.720
she really has seen people with disabilities,

824
00:50:25.940 --> 00:50:28.580
but she really loved that part of me.

825
00:50:28.580 --> 00:50:31.840
She really respected the fact that I don't let my decision

826
00:50:31.840 --> 00:50:33.300
or special needs define me.

827
00:50:33.320 --> 00:50:35.500
I just break away and work like everyone.

828
00:50:36.360 --> 00:50:39.160
And then, and then one time we were on our way to Ephesus

829
00:50:39.160 --> 00:50:41.440
and I had to get up and she knocked on my door and say,

830
00:50:41.560 --> 00:50:42.020
come on, get up.

831
00:50:42.040 --> 00:50:43.860
I was like, all right, oh, I'm not dressed all the way.

832
00:50:43.960 --> 00:50:44.500
Come on.

833
00:50:44.640 --> 00:50:46.800
And then finally I got on the bus just in time.

834
00:50:47.040 --> 00:50:49.560
And I finally got my book bag and she goes,

835
00:50:49.860 --> 00:50:52.740
I was like, you are one sister in Christ pounded girl.

836
00:50:53.480 --> 00:50:56.760
So, but then she and the other girls will walk by,

837
00:50:56.760 --> 00:50:59.320
but I didn't trail along because I'm thinking,

838
00:50:59.380 --> 00:51:00.800
you know, if we were going to level,

839
00:51:01.200 --> 00:51:03.720
even if I'm in a level two relationship or so with them,

840
00:51:03.840 --> 00:51:05.600
if we're going to be on level three,

841
00:51:05.820 --> 00:51:09.000
I should be going with them, not the other way around.

842
00:51:09.140 --> 00:51:10.100
It should come naturally.

843
00:51:10.580 --> 00:51:13.640
And then, so we were on roads and then she goes,

844
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:17.100
and then Esther and John were leading from our church.

845
00:51:17.100 --> 00:51:18.500
And she goes, Hunter,

846
00:51:18.560 --> 00:51:21.360
you're being a very good at behaving around women,

847
00:51:21.620 --> 00:51:24.200
around these girls, because you don't try to,

848
00:51:24.200 --> 00:51:27.060
you don't keep following them and try to tattle on,

849
00:51:27.220 --> 00:51:27.820
make it happen.

850
00:51:28.260 --> 00:51:29.460
I was like, yeah, I know.

851
00:51:29.460 --> 00:51:32.100
I'm thinking if we were in level three or dating

852
00:51:32.100 --> 00:51:33.280
or she were into me,

853
00:51:33.280 --> 00:51:35.580
we would see different behaviors from that,

854
00:51:35.580 --> 00:51:37.120
but we're not seeing that.

855
00:51:37.540 --> 00:51:38.640
And so on.

856
00:51:38.740 --> 00:51:39.080
Next up.

857
00:51:39.420 --> 00:51:41.440
I love, I mean, I love the growth.

858
00:51:41.520 --> 00:51:42.380
I love the maturity.

859
00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:44.540
I think it's going to pay off well for you.

860
00:51:44.640 --> 00:51:45.100
I really do.

861
00:51:45.460 --> 00:51:48.240
And then there was one thing when one goes like,

862
00:51:48.240 --> 00:51:49.440
oh, I like your neck.

863
00:51:49.480 --> 00:51:51.420
And then she goes, don't want to hear again.

864
00:51:51.420 --> 00:51:51.800
Really?

865
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:53.940
I was like, oh, I got chastised for it.

866
00:51:53.940 --> 00:51:55.220
I was like, no, Hunter,

867
00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:56.660
you got to be careful with all these things.

868
00:51:56.700 --> 00:51:59.780
Cause I said some things that naturally were a turnoff,

869
00:51:59.840 --> 00:52:01.140
even if it was not intentional,

870
00:52:01.260 --> 00:52:03.380
instead of beating myself up over it,

871
00:52:03.620 --> 00:52:04.740
just making it look bad.

872
00:52:04.800 --> 00:52:07.300
I just say, shake it off and try to keep turning.

873
00:52:07.300 --> 00:52:09.140
They're going to get turned off and I'm not aware of it,

874
00:52:09.160 --> 00:52:10.240
but just keep it to a minimal

875
00:52:10.600 --> 00:52:12.080
and hopefully they'll grow in you.

876
00:52:12.420 --> 00:52:13.980
And then I apologized to,

877
00:52:14.120 --> 00:52:15.460
I ended up apologizing to her.

878
00:52:15.800 --> 00:52:17.540
And then there was one girl at the end

879
00:52:17.540 --> 00:52:19.980
who is the Maryland and Pennsylvania girl

880
00:52:19.980 --> 00:52:22.820
who stood next to me during the rest of the Malta trip.

881
00:52:22.820 --> 00:52:26.800
Even when we were on the bay and we shared and we connected

882
00:52:26.900 --> 00:52:30.480
and we shared and we talked, we found common ground.

883
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:34.080
And then she was in postal service.

884
00:52:34.160 --> 00:52:35.380
I was an Amazon guy.

885
00:52:35.540 --> 00:52:37.020
And then she told me about,

886
00:52:37.220 --> 00:52:39.000
she showed me her pictures and I showed her mine

887
00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:40.200
and told us where we're from.

888
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:43.680
And there was intimacy, there was connection.

889
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:45.260
I was just getting a taste of ingredients

890
00:52:45.260 --> 00:52:46.880
I need for a level three relationship.

891
00:52:47.160 --> 00:52:48.840
It may not be a level three

892
00:52:48.840 --> 00:52:51.080
and we maybe have a significant age gap.

893
00:52:51.160 --> 00:52:51.920
She may be a grandma,

894
00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:55.340
but at least I got a taste of what I need in a level three.

895
00:52:56.080 --> 00:52:56.820
Nice, nice.

896
00:52:57.080 --> 00:52:58.040
I like it.

897
00:52:58.040 --> 00:52:58.820
I like it.

898
00:52:58.860 --> 00:53:00.040
Thanks for sharing that, man.

899
00:53:00.200 --> 00:53:02.000
I'm gonna go straight to David Henshaw

900
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:03.920
because it's right after eight o'clock.

901
00:53:04.040 --> 00:53:05.800
So I just wanna make sure we're good on time.

902
00:53:05.940 --> 00:53:06.940
Go ahead, David Henshaw.

903
00:53:08.820 --> 00:53:10.640
Hey, I just wanted to say a quick update.

904
00:53:11.100 --> 00:53:13.800
Like I think it was two supernatural Saturdays ago

905
00:53:14.220 --> 00:53:19.140
about the kazaza and realizing the kazaza myself

906
00:53:19.140 --> 00:53:22.380
with the very extreme things that's gone down

907
00:53:22.380 --> 00:53:24.800
in the last two to three years of my life.

908
00:53:26.420 --> 00:53:29.240
And recognizing that if I'm still holding up walls

909
00:53:29.380 --> 00:53:34.280
over here, it's gonna put a wall between me and God as well.

910
00:53:34.500 --> 00:53:35.980
It doesn't, I can't be selective

911
00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:38.140
and think it's just one box over here,

912
00:53:38.260 --> 00:53:40.580
one box over there, one wall over here,

913
00:53:40.640 --> 00:53:41.340
one wall over there.

914
00:53:41.340 --> 00:53:43.660
And then I can still connect with God.

915
00:53:43.700 --> 00:53:45.340
It doesn't work like that.

916
00:53:45.860 --> 00:53:48.780
So that's like been a real huge breakthrough today.

917
00:53:49.720 --> 00:53:50.620
It's powerful.

918
00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:52.800
With the last 24 hours.

919
00:53:53.600 --> 00:53:57.300
So I feel more connected and then just dealing

920
00:53:57.300 --> 00:54:00.280
with things that are more, I guess, embedded.

921
00:54:01.340 --> 00:54:03.700
What was mentioned earlier really helps a lot

922
00:54:06.220 --> 00:54:11.840
with what seems to be a problem is probably the bad solution

923
00:54:11.840 --> 00:54:13.260
and not really the problem.

924
00:54:13.380 --> 00:54:14.920
It's a deeper heart issue.

925
00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:18.220
Like what was mentioned earlier tonight

926
00:54:18.220 --> 00:54:19.700
about porn and that.

927
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:25.160
I think it's really interesting that one of the things

928
00:54:25.160 --> 00:54:29.500
that helps us as men is our ability to compartmentalize.

929
00:54:31.740 --> 00:54:36.820
We have the ability to not, for instance,

930
00:54:36.940 --> 00:54:41.240
if there's a physical task or emergency situation,

931
00:54:41.440 --> 00:54:43.940
for instance, we have the ability to just put emotions

932
00:54:43.940 --> 00:54:46.160
aside and just do the task at hand.

933
00:54:46.820 --> 00:54:49.820
That's a really powerful male characteristic.

934
00:54:52.060 --> 00:54:52.920
It's what we're good at.

935
00:54:53.280 --> 00:54:57.960
But at the same time, that same behavior also helps

936
00:54:57.960 --> 00:54:59.980
us separate like.

937
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.160
you're talking about the experience versus like the relationship with God. And that's kind of like

938
00:55:05.160 --> 00:55:12.020
where we're like, we fool ourselves into thinking that this and this are two different things,

939
00:55:12.180 --> 00:55:16.860
and it's not. It's like all together, like the revelation you're having, like, you know,

940
00:55:16.980 --> 00:55:22.940
why am I putting this in a category over here? And then, you know, having this development

941
00:55:22.940 --> 00:55:29.560
situation with God or whatever, having the conversation in the moment or having the

942
00:55:29.560 --> 00:55:35.500
conversation through the process, having the conversation in the season, because the reality

943
00:55:35.500 --> 00:55:41.040
is that what's happened to you is no different than what's happened to many, many, many other

944
00:55:41.040 --> 00:55:47.020
men. You know, whether it's just complete devastation, complete failure, complete like

945
00:55:47.920 --> 00:55:55.360
just like, you know, lost it all. I mean, type of thing. I mean, there's millions and millions of

946
00:55:55.360 --> 00:56:01.600
men have gone through that same process. It's not the fact that you went, it's not the fact that

947
00:56:01.600 --> 00:56:06.940
it happened to you. It's the fact that you're going through it. It's the fact that there's

948
00:56:06.940 --> 00:56:12.560
more to be had. This isn't the end. This is just part of the process, part of the journey.

949
00:56:13.120 --> 00:56:19.200
And so, like, if you can have that conversation with God in the journey, even in the worst of

950
00:56:20.540 --> 00:56:27.600
circumstances, then, like, that's growth and that's process, that's healing, that is like

951
00:56:28.740 --> 00:56:34.100
help, rather than just completely being without any help. Make sense?

952
00:56:35.700 --> 00:56:37.320
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

953
00:56:37.420 --> 00:56:41.980
I love that you're having that revelation. You're like, you know what? Because at some point,

954
00:56:41.980 --> 00:56:46.140
I think this is kind of like what happens with men sometimes. They're just like, I'm just tired of

955
00:56:46.940 --> 00:56:52.160
dealing with this alone, or I'm just tired with dealing this period. I'm just going to stop doing

956
00:56:52.160 --> 00:56:59.220
this. I'm just going to go the way that I know that's the right way to go. I'm going to go,

957
00:56:59.560 --> 00:57:03.580
I'm just going to have the conversation. I'm just going to like rip the Band-Aid off. I mean,

958
00:57:03.580 --> 00:57:10.960
why am I protecting myself so much in my pain and misery and suffering? And instead, just have the

959
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:18.920
conversation, just have it out. You know, this is the Bruce Almighty moment. You know, Bruce

960
00:57:18.920 --> 00:57:24.720
Almighty, the movie, where he's like, smite me, almighty smiter. And God's like, okay, now we're

961
00:57:24.720 --> 00:57:29.640
having a conversation. You know, he's thinking it like this ultimate rebellion, like, I don't care

962
00:57:29.640 --> 00:57:36.320
anymore, you know, whatever. You know, I'm just pissed at everything. And God's like, okay, now

963
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:41.920
we're having a conversation. Now we can do something. I can deal with that. This is why

964
00:57:41.920 --> 00:57:50.040
the scripture talk about when you're cold, I can deal with it. When you're hot, I can deal with

965
00:57:50.040 --> 00:57:56.460
that. But God's like, I can't deal with lukewarm. I can't deal with the middle. I can't deal with

966
00:57:56.460 --> 00:58:03.480
like inactivity. I can't deal with just like you just like coasting through, you know, I can deal

967
00:58:03.480 --> 00:58:09.360
with you like on the extremes, because I can bring you back to center. And so I think that's

968
00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:15.300
kind of what you're talking about. You know, and that's exciting. Yeah, powerful revelation.

969
00:58:15.980 --> 00:58:21.620
It's it's connection is finally coming back online after being, you know, I mean, I struggled with,

970
00:58:21.880 --> 00:58:27.380
I mean, I joined this community like a little bit over a year ago, a year and maybe a few weeks. But

971
00:58:27.380 --> 00:58:31.200
I mean, I really struggled at times, not that I plan anything out,

972
00:58:32.100 --> 00:58:37.640
out, but was just kind of suicidal. I kind of lost the will to live as kind of like, you know,

973
00:58:38.100 --> 00:58:43.320
I did everything I could the best I do how in a relationship. And because of my blind spot,

974
00:58:43.320 --> 00:58:52.300
I got totally I got totally rocked, you know, in a bad way. So but the other thing I'm recognizing

975
00:58:52.300 --> 00:58:59.940
is recognizing that things that were offensive or overwhelming, or would almost get to the level of

976
00:58:59.940 --> 00:59:08.100
causing like a psychotic break, because it was just so traumatic that that I felt like I was

977
00:59:08.100 --> 00:59:15.640
digging into that today with the any any situation or past relationships that you know, might not be

978
00:59:15.640 --> 00:59:20.260
healthy for me to still be in right now, but like realizing that I threw out the baby with the bath

979
00:59:20.260 --> 00:59:28.360
water. So I just repented, I go God, everything that was involved in this that was good. You know,

980
00:59:29.040 --> 00:59:33.180
you know, I'm not gonna keep rejecting that, but all the stuff that was not healthy,

981
00:59:33.520 --> 00:59:38.440
that's can still stay out with the bath water, you know, but like what I did is because it was

982
00:59:38.440 --> 00:59:44.220
this such a hard break and a survival instinct is just like, you know, burning bridges, throwing

983
00:59:44.220 --> 00:59:49.580
out the baby with the bath water, whatever reason you want to use. So yeah, so yeah, that's

984
00:59:50.360 --> 00:59:54.020
Thanks for sharing, Dave. That's I really appreciate that.

985
00:59:56.160 --> 00:59:59.980
And I really just let's fan the flames of that.

986
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.220
revelation, let's fan the flames of you, like allowing that light switch to be turned back on

987
01:00:06.200 --> 01:00:12.100
and finding that purpose and finding that drive for you. That's going to be your best effort.

988
01:00:12.220 --> 01:00:18.880
It's just like, okay, I can't make this happen. I can't make anything, you know, but I can allow,

989
01:00:19.060 --> 01:00:23.000
you can allow God, you can allow other people, you can allow situations, you can allow

990
01:00:23.000 --> 01:00:31.420
the good stuff, you know, and that's where our strength lies in the allowing of whatever's

991
01:00:31.420 --> 01:00:36.140
going to like push us in the right direction. Yeah, it's surrendering with them and not

992
01:00:36.140 --> 01:00:42.260
surrounding out of an independent spirit. So yeah, I'll end with that because I don't want

993
01:00:42.260 --> 01:00:47.240
to go over time. That's so good. So good. I appreciate it. Hey guys, God bless you. Have

994
01:00:47.240 --> 01:00:56.900
a great week. I'll talk to you next time and good to see you guys. Enjoy the holidays as well,

995
01:00:57.080 --> 01:00:59.700
as much as you can. Thanks, David. Talk to you soon.