WEBVTT

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I would love to see some more smiling faces if you can come on screen with me.

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So glad to have you joining us this evening.

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I'm Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the master hardware coaches here in the community.

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We have Annette Lewis, who is one of our peer coaches here with us as well.

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So glad to be here with you all tonight.

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If you are brand new, if you have never been on a live session before,

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we'd love for you to put that in the chat for us so we can welcome you and

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celebrate with you because you've taken a really amazing step to invest in your

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heartwork.

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For all of my ladies that have come back for more, welcome back.

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I'm so glad to see you all as well.

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We're excited to see what God's going to do tonight.

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Just one quick housekeeping from me,

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and then I'm going to pass it over to Annette for a couple and she's going to

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pray us in. And this is more of just a friendly reminder.

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It's just something I do every like month or so.

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And it's not so much that people were doing anything wrong.

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This is more of a,

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just keeping everybody's heart in the right place when you're here for the

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heartwork. So a lot of us are very good at serving.

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Women are known for nurturing and serving and giving.

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Also a lot of people come in, you've been in ministry, you've been coaching,

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you've been counseling, you know,

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some people are caregivers and I want it to be really,

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really central in all of you that while you are here,

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your only role is to receive. Okay.

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That's it.

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You don't have to help your other sisters in their time of need.

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You don't have to try to coach them.

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You don't have to try to help them figure out what's going on with them.

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You can celebrate with them. You can say, I'm going to, you know,

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I'm praying for you. I'm cheering you on as your sister,

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but the main goal for you is to receive as a daughter,

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to receive healing as a daughter and to make friends with your sisters.

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That's it.

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And so I just want to just remind you all to take all your helper hats off

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while you're here.

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And literally some of you might need to actually visualize doing that.

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Like, okay, I'm coming in the heartwork group to receive.

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I'm not going to put in my, like put on my helper hat. You know,

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I'm not going to put my helper hat on. I'm not going to put my.

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And so we want to make sure that we put the air mask on ourselves before

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we're trying to help anybody else.

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And for some of you, that has been kind of your Achilles heel.

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You've been really busy. Most of your life, helping everybody else.

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And even here during the heartwork,

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that is going to be one of the enemies distractions for you.

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He's going to try to get you to help.

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Not even just people here in the heartwork,

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but he'll try to get you to do that too.

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And he'll send you all of your friends that are needy.

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All of, you know, even if you have kids that have lots of needs,

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which kids do, but sometimes some of our kids have a lot more needs than

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others. Right.

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And so those things will all start to bubble up and you're going to have

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to come face to face with, okay, where do I balance?

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Where do I need to set boundaries?

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And what is important in this season is God led you here for healing.

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And so we want to really be on guard against the enemy's distractions.

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And if that resonates for you,

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that being a helper actually sometimes is a distraction and might even be

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something that, you know,

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makes you vulnerable to attacks of the enemy with people that are unhealthy

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as well, that are takers, just start praying into that. Okay.

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And maybe if you're not sure, maybe just ask the Lord,

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does that apply to me? And let's just see what he says. Okay.

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And then I'm going to pass that over to you and let you take it from here

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and pray us in after the other housekeeping items.

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Great. Thanks, Bethany. Hi, everyone.

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It's good to be back with you again this week after missing last week when I

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was up in Canada, missed being here, but was praying for you all.

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And a reminder about supernatural Saturday.

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If you didn't get a chance to listen this week,

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it was God invites us into choices and we do,

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we have choices every day and God doesn't run us down,

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but he invites us to come. And so I invite you to listen to the replay.

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I actually did not also have an opportunity to be there this Saturday.

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So I'm going to listen to the replay as well.

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I'm always blessed by it and know that you will be too.

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So join us live if you can,

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but try and make time to listen to that replay you'll be blessed.

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And then, um,

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second item on my list that I wanted to speak about tonight is we really want

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to invite all of you to come into the group and post.

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If you have questions about content, homework, um,

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or something that comes up for you during the week that we can, um, uh,

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dive in a little deeper with you about offer suggestions, offer prayer.

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That's what we're here for. And we want to support you in every way possible.

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So please, um,

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Take that opportunity to engage and also you never know which one of your sisters is struggling with something similar and it really can

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Encourage them also to be brave and post or they learn from what you're willing to share. So

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we look forward to

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Reading your posts each week and we'll see you this week in the group

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And now I'm gonna pray us in and then hand it back to Bethany

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Okay

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Heavenly thought father. Thank you for the privilege of being gathered together

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Tonight and thank you that where two or more are gathered you promise that you're there and you're here with us tonight

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You're here with each one of the ladies

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You have treasures for each one of them in

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Their heart that you want to unlock that you want to unveil that you want to uncover and that you want to heal

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I pray that you would give them eyes to see and ears to hear and be responsive to your Holy Spirit's leading and guiding as

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You seek to come alongside them shower them with your love

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And comfort them with your care as they are on this heart healing journey bless Bethany as she speaks tonight

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may the words that she speaks be your words and

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Thank you for using her to minister to each one tonight in your name. I pray. Amen

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Thanks, man. Yeah. Thank you. Um, I want to do something really quick

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I've just this has come up in my spirit a couple times

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And so I just want to always obey

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I want to encourage you all just to like hold your hands out and I just you know

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If you want to close your eyes close your eyes if you don't want to that's fine, too

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But I just want to get in a posture of receiving

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I just hear the Lord saying that some people just it's really tough for you to just pause and receive and so we want to

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Practice that tonight before we even go forward. And so Lord, we just thank you right now

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That we don't have to strive for answers

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God that your father that reveals things for healing in our perfect timing

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So Lord, we just we just thank you that you're here with us Jesus that you died for our freedom

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Holy spirit that you're here among us that you're you're giving insight that you're giving revelation and we receive it tonight

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We receive it with open hands open hearts

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Pray that you would remove any hindrance that would keep us from being able to receive the insight you have for us from heaven

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In Jesus name

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Amen

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And so for some of you, I want you to really start practicing that

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Even in the morning, you know, I ask you all in this in this heart work course

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We ask you to put up that permission slip after you fill it out and be praying that on a regular basis

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But for some of you, you know doing an activation where you actually are your hands are out

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Your heart like just pausing and like like in yourself knowing that you're opening your heart to receive

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It just can kind of change the whole dynamic between you and the lord

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And some of you might be afraid like okay

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What is god going to give me?

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Because some think you know, you believe lies that some of the things that god gave you in the past have harmed you

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Well, it hasn't been the lord that has brought you harm. That has been the enemy

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The enemy is the one who brings death and destruction and harm

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So if you believe that god brought something into your life

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And it harmed you the enemy has skewed your perception through the filters and the trauma that you've gone through

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And so for whoever that's for god loves you

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And he wants you to know that he is working in your life and he has good things for you

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And the story that he's rewriting that's a part of it for you

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He's rewriting the story and the dialogue that you're hearing

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And everything that it's being filtered through

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So that you can know that he he is a kind father as well. Not a harsh task master

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And so I just want to lean into that for all of you for myself as well as we move forward tonight

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We're talking about identity if you remember for those of you that were here last week

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Hopefully that you if you weren't here you caught the replay if you're brand new check that out

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It's under the replay tab

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And if you didn't have time to listen to that

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And the reason is is i'm kind of building on last week. You don't have to jump off

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You don't have to leave stay here with us

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but just know that

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Some of the things i'm going to say tonight you might want to go and allow god to fill in some dots for you

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That's all i'm saying. Okay, so we're building on last week a little bit last week

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We talked about the real you as in who did god originally create you to be

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Before trauma before wounds before any pain or punishment from the enemy entered our lives, right?

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and so

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this week we're talking about that more but from the perspective of

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you know

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What does god want you to know about your identity in him like?

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Not only the who is the real you but who is he trying to solidify you as and so we're gonna do a little

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bit of an activation very quickly here. I want, I'm going

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to ask you a question, like to fill in a blank, basically. And

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I don't want you to think about it a lot. I just want you to

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give me the first things that come and I don't want you to

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over Christianize this. What I mean by that is I, if you think

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great things, awesome. If that is the first thing you hear,

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that's amazing. But if you hear other things, please don't be

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afraid to put that in here because this is about you

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getting your breakthrough. And if you hold that back, you might

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miss out on something. Okay. Alright, so I want you to fill

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in the blank of this next statement with like the first

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two to three words that come to your mind. I am blank. I am

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blank. What comes to mind? Two to three words, put that in the

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chat for me. Whatever you hear. If it's good things, if it's

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not good things, whatever you heard first, put that in the

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chat for me. I'm always running, soft, a work in progress, child

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of God, beautiful, holy, righteous, a child of God,

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loving, a lot, and long winded. Sorry, I'm trying to keep up

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here. Quiet nature, tired, concerned, drained, blessed,

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redeemed, sad, lonely, beautiful, silly, funny, diamond

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in the rough, daughter of God, tired, overwhelmed, unseen,

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healed, loved, hilarious, short, fat, beautiful, unseen, precious,

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gifted of the Lord, strong, tired, directionless. They're

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going to keep coming and that's good. Keep putting them in there

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as you get them. Single, anxious at this time, I'm tired and

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willing, and then jewel. These are all really, really good, you

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all. And this is the thing. If you heard something negative, I

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want you to know that that's going to be a signal to you that

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that's an area that you need healing. Okay. And that's why it

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was important for you to put those in there. And that we

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don't try to filter things out to sound good, right? Because

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don't y'all sometimes feel like that's what we do in church and

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the Christian environments, because we think we know what

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the desired answer is. We think we have to say that. And it's

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really important in this heartwork process for you to be

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as real as you can be with the Lord and yourself. Okay. It's

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not so much for us. This is about you getting the healing

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that you need. Now, if you heard all good things, that's totally

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fine, too. And maybe your negative things will come with a

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different question or a different statement, because we

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all have them, you all. I've been coaching this for almost

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five years. And I can tell you, I still hear negative things all

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the time. And they come out of those broken places that still

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need healed. And we're gonna, y'all, we're gonna need healing

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until the day that Jesus comes back. So doesn't mean we're

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gonna be in the ICU that long, praise the Lord, we don't have

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to stay in the ICU. But the reality is, is that life

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presents things all the time. Some of those things are amazing

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and some of those things hurt us. And when things hurt us,

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lies tend to enter in that time. Okay. So as we keep moving

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forward, I want you to be thinking a lot tonight about

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your thoughts. What are you currently aligning with, that

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are not God's truths over you? And to you, remember, we want to

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partner with the things of heaven. Sometimes we don't even

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know where this stuff is coming from. And it comes so fast. Look

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at how fast and quickly some of those things came. Colby heard

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that she's always running. That's really, I mean, that is

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probably the first time anyone has said that. And that's so

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important. So we want to make sure with any of these things

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that we're looking at, okay, when is the first time in that

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situation, in that kind of statement, what I would do with

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that, if I heard that is I would go to the Lord and say,

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Lord, when was the first time I ran or felt led to run from a

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situation? And just allow him to start showing you when that

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first started for you. Because if that is something you're

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believing or even subconsciously partnering with, that when, you

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know, something gets hard, you run. Well, maybe that's

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something that was also passed down to you from from a family

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member and seeing how they handled situations. Sometimes it

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does begin with us. But a lot of times you all we are these are

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learned behaviors. These are learned mindsets and, and heart

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postures. Remember last week, I was talking about Adam and Eve,

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and when they had sinned. Well, remember, God encountered them

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in the garden, he went looking for them, y'all, he already knew

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where they were. But don't you think it's pretty cool that God

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was like, hey, why are you hiding basically? And Adam said,

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well, because I was naked and God's question back is, well,

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who told you that you were naked? That was from that

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Genesis three.

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the eight through 11. And so tonight, I want to talk about

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who or what are you currently getting your identity from? Are

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you getting your identity from what you've eaten, so to speak,

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like in that Eve in Adam ate of the fruit, and then their eyes

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were opened. But that in that regard, it wasn't a good thing.

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So some of us Yes, it's been the situations we've gone through

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in our lives. But some of us have also seen really bad

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things happen to other people, loved ones, friends. I told the

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story this afternoon, and some of you may have heard this part

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of my story before, but when I was in fourth grade, so about

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eight or nine years old, um, my oldest brother, my mom and my

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sister were hit by a drunk driver. And they did all

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survive. So I don't want anyone to feel super triggered by this.

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But I just want to tell a little bit of the story. Because as a

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fourth grader, that was a very traumatic thing for me and my

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family. My mom, thankfully did walk away with just some scrapes

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and cuts and things like that. But my oldest brother was in a

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coma for a long time, several, several weeks, my sister had to

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have brain surgery, very scary things for me as an eight or

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nine year olds. My brother did recover, he did come out of

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that. But he had to learn how to do everything over again, they

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sent him to a rehab in another city, like, I don't know, I

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think it was like an hour away from us. So my mom had to always

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leave and go there. And so I had to stay with aunts and friends

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and grandparents. And sometimes I went with them. And, you know,

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just all kinds of things. My sister, when she was in high

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school, a few years after that accident, started having

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seizures, it was a very traumatic thing. And then I also

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was like, one of the only people that could get her to come out

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of the seizures more quickly. And so there was a lot of things

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over not only that fourth grade year, when I was eight or nine,

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but as I got older, the weight and the responsibility of the

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things that were still happening in our family as like

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after-effects, if you will, you know, the earthquake, the

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initial one happens. And then sometimes there's additional

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ones that happen, the tremors, y'all, that's what that's what

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trauma is like sometimes, right? So I want you just to be

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thinking about not only your own direct trauma, but what are some

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other things that you have seen? I also I didn't even think of

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this this afternoon. But it's coming up in my spirit. Tonight,

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when I was in high school, I played softball. And I had this

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friend, she was so she was a Christian, you all and she was a

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very faithful Christian. And one of those people that planted

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seeds in my heart that you know, I still think about as as

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you can probably tell, I'm very fond of her. She was really fun,

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really fast, she had like just a great personality. And then one

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day she was in a car accident and died. And I remember even

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back then thinking like, I don't understand she was one of the

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good ones. Like it was very hard for me to comprehend that. And

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because I really liked her. And so again, these are things that

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we carry right until we deal with them. Losing that person at

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a young age, that was this light in my life was tough. And so

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what is what have we eaten? What have we taken in through trauma

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in the things that we've witnessed and experienced that

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we are now allowing that to inform our identity? Also, what

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have people said to you? You know, I want you to be thinking

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about what are the things that you now think today about

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yourself, because someone else said it to you. And these can be

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kind things as well as unkind things. But that you are aware of

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those things that are informing your identity. Then also, who

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does the enemy say that you are? What is the enemy even saying to

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you for all these years that he's still saying to you? And

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then as we were working on last week, and hopefully you're

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working on your silhouette still, I saw a couple come in

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way to go on those that did those. But who does God say you

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are, that we would become more and more rooted in our identity

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and who God says we are louder than any voice of the enemy, any

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voice of what other people have said to us any voice of trauma,

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or wounds or lies that we believed as a result of them. So

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you want to start looking at your root system. Okay, so the

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lies that we believe are, they basically are the roots that,

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you know, we're getting our nutrients from, if you will. And

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I'm going to talk about that here in just a moment. But we're

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gonna all typically have some healthy roots and unhealthy

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roots. And the unhealthy roots and healthy roots are going to

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feed right up into the fruit of the tree. So you want to look at

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the fruit of your life.

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It is also going to be how you identify the lies that you're believing.

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If you have unhealthy fruit, and we're going to talk about what that means here in a minute

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a little bit more, that is going to be one of the ways you can say, okay, Lord, this

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is an area I know that you're wanting me to change something in my life.

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Remember we're not looking for behavior change.

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We're not looking for you to just be good and be on your good behavior for a short amount

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of time.

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Instead, we want you to internally be transformed from the inside out so that you experience

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freedom and lasting change.

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Where are you getting your nutrients from?

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What's in the soil of your heart?

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When we talk about soil tonight, I want you just to be thinking about I'm referencing

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your heart.

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What's in there?

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What is feeding your thoughts?

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What are feeding your actions and the things that you're doing?

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Luke 6 45 in the NLT says this, a good person produces good things from the treasury of

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a good heart and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

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What you say flows from what is in your heart.

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So I want you to kind of pause and think about in the last few days, a negative thing that

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you said, whether that was internally or even speaking it out that was negative about yourself.

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And then I want you to think about that, where that's flowing from in your heart and asking

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the Lord to reveal what still needs healed.

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That is causing that negativity, those negative thoughts to flow from your heart.

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Are your roots giving you life or are they causing death and decay?

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So how can we tell what's in our roots?

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We want to look at that fruit that I was referring to earlier.

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So I'm going to read to you just a couple of things from the heart workbook.

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The first part is in chapter five, I believe is what I was looking at earlier.

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Let me double check.

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Yeah.

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From the heart womb.

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So if you think about a womb, remember a woman is where a baby is not only started, but that's

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where it gets its nutrients from the umbilical cord from the mom.

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So if the mom is not nourishing herself, if she's not putting good things in her body,

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you all, well, that baby gets malnourished, right?

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And it's born.

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And it, a lot of times will be a failure to thrive label on that baby.

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So I want you to think about the seeds that are planted in your heart right now, that

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they represent a baby, if you will, not a physical baby, but something that is going

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to be birthed here in the physical realm, because what we're partnering with in the

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spiritual realm, everything in us is birthed out of us.

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So if we have seeds, if we have brokenness in here, eventually we're going to birth that

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out of us one way, shape, or form.

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And that's what the unhealthy fruits show up.

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If we have healthy stuff, if we're feeding ourselves with good nutrients, you all guess

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what?

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We're going to birth some good stuff out of there, aren't we?

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All right.

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So let's talk about this.

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Fruits are the emotional or physical manifestation and the subsequent actions.

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So not only again, the lies that we believe, but then how we act on those lies, the truth

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that we believe, and then how we act on the truth.

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Okay.

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But tonight we're talking about the unhealthy fruit to try to help you kind of figure that

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out.

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So those are the things that we are coming out of, again, what we believe in our heart.

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So some of the fruits might include sickness, self-pity, a victim mentality, despair, suicidal

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tendencies, disgust, judgment.

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Just on a side note, if you have a problem with judging other people, it's because you

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have a fragmented heart.

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A judgmental heart is a hurting heart.

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Some more fruits are obesity, perversion, addiction, sexual dysfunction.

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You all that includes not being able to control yourself in a relationship, okay?

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That also includes pornography.

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That also includes masturbation, hopelessness, hatred, self-hatred.

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Just so you know, all forms of hatred begin with self-hatred.

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You cannot hate someone else without first hating yourself.

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Some other fruits here that we need to look at, abrasiveness, short temper, irritability,

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jealousy, envy, competitiveness, comparing, gossiping, backstabbing, being unhappy, ungratefulness,

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selfishness, having a poverty mentality.

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If you are habitually negative, unfaithful, or have any form of dis, including disease,

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disconnection, discontent, and disappointment, you are suffering from a broken heart.

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Y'all, we could go on and on and on, right?

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But as you can see, a lot of times, often what we believe is the problem is just the

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fruit of what actually is the problem.

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Y'all, competitiveness, gossiping, I'm just going to pull out a few, negativity.

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sexual dysfunction, not being able to, like, really walk in the fruits of the spirit, including

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self-control, y'all, that's, the problem is underneath of that stuff. And that's what

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we always hear or trying to get you to get to the root of the matter. I'm going to go

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over a couple other things real quick. The next part is what you believe about yourself

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you become. So for example, you know, some of those things that were in the chat earlier,

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if you believed that, if you believe that you are long winded, you're going to become

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long winded. You all, if you believe that you are, um, always drained, always overwhelmed,

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then guess what's going to happen. We're going to produce that in our lives. I told the story

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this afternoon, um, when I was coaching someone, um, when we went through the mold situation here,

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y'all, I was so proud of our house. I'm telling you what I worked hard to get our house all

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situated new furniture here in Florida, all cute decorated and y'all mold is like chaos

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because we had to hustle and pack as much as we could, but then the rest,

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somebody else came into my house. People. I don't even know packing up my stuff.

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Praise the Lord. They did a good job because stuff didn't break. But you all,

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when we got back into our house, there's just, it's just dust everywhere. It's a mess.

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I didn't know where half of my stuff was is all in boxes, but I couldn't find things for a long

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time. And then I would walk by that room and I would just be like, Oh, I'm so overwhelmed. Gosh,

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I don't want to deal with that. It's so overwhelming. And I didn't even mean to

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do it, but literally it was overwhelming. And I was frustrated because it was a lot of work.

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The first time to get my house set up, let alone a year later, having to turn around and basically

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do it all over again. But guess what? The more that I walked by that room and said, man, that's

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overwhelming. The more overwhelmed I got, but the day that the Lord was like, Hey, you need to stop

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saying that. I'm like, I know, I know Lord, but it's so overwhelming. That's what I said to him.

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You all, can you relate to me at all? He said, I know, but let me help you.

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And you know what he showed me? He showed me that, um, I said this to you, I think on a

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different session, you know, how do we eat an elephant one bite at a time? So he said to me,

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instead of, instead of putting the pressure on yourself to just resolve that room and one week

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or one weekend, because we were, we came back in and like, y'all, I don't know if you know anything

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about church, but we, we moved back into our house. It wasn't even finished yet. So we still

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have construction going on. And when you hit September in a church, you're entering a very

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busy season. It's very, very busy and it gets busier all the way through the end of the year.

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And so, um, part of the overwhelm was that I felt like I had to get it resolved right away. And,

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and I just didn't have the capacity in me to do it. I just didn't. And so what I started doing,

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this is what God led me to do is I started with one box. Okay. I wrote on my to-do list,

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put away one box today. And I remember feeling so kind of ashamed and guilty for just only

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committing to one box. But I, I remember also when I put away that one box, I started like,

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Oh, well, that felt good. And then I just started upping it to two boxes.

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And so you all I'm gaining momentum and I'm starting to get my house back in order and it

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feels good. So why am I saying that to you? Why, how is that linked to identity? Well,

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what I just said to you is what we believe about ourselves, about our situations.

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That's what's going to manifest what we believe about ourselves. We become,

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so what are you partnering with right now in your heart, in your mind about yourself,

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about your identity, about your story? What is the tape that you're allowing to play in your mind

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that tonight the Lord is like, Hey, you need to push stop on that thing. Cause it is not serving

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you. And he wants to help you learn how to defeat the elephant one bite at a time. So to speak,

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for some of you, it is your love story. You don't see how it could happen,

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but guess what? You don't have to, because God knows how it

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can happen and he knows how to orchestrate it.

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You just get to partner with him one step at a time.

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In the heartwork journey, if you feel overwhelmed,

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cause I'm telling you, some of you, you are going to,

445
00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:13.580
it's going to happen.

446
00:30:13.980 --> 00:30:16.560
You're going to feel overwhelmed, but guess what?

447
00:30:16.660 --> 00:30:19.260
Just like me, you can just kind of, okay,

448
00:30:20.080 --> 00:30:22.500
I can't do the whole thing this week,

449
00:30:23.040 --> 00:30:27.760
but I can watch one video or I can read five pages

450
00:30:27.760 --> 00:30:31.400
in the book, commit to something versus just giving up

451
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:33.300
and giving into that, all right?

452
00:30:33.300 --> 00:30:35.180
So I want to keep going here.

453
00:30:36.340 --> 00:30:39.600
All right, so we want to talk a little bit about,

454
00:30:39.960 --> 00:30:42.080
Annette, I'm just going to do the one breakout tonight,

455
00:30:42.080 --> 00:30:44.300
just so you know, I'm going to go right into vows.

456
00:30:44.860 --> 00:30:48.000
I want to talk a little bit about vows that we believe

457
00:30:48.280 --> 00:30:51.880
and in particular, inner vows on the inside of us.

458
00:30:51.900 --> 00:30:54.040
There are determinations set in our mind and heart

459
00:30:54.040 --> 00:30:55.500
to protect us from pain.

460
00:30:55.500 --> 00:31:00.040
So when something bad happens and the lie presents itself,

461
00:31:01.060 --> 00:31:04.320
there is something that we subconsciously believe

462
00:31:04.920 --> 00:31:07.540
and partner with in that moment

463
00:31:07.540 --> 00:31:09.680
and that is what becomes that inner vow.

464
00:31:10.300 --> 00:31:11.360
Romans 12, two says this,

465
00:31:11.380 --> 00:31:12.960
do not conform to the pattern of this world,

466
00:31:13.040 --> 00:31:15.020
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

467
00:31:15.060 --> 00:31:17.300
Then you'll be able to test what God's will is,

468
00:31:17.300 --> 00:31:19.020
his good, perfect, pleasing will.

469
00:31:19.360 --> 00:31:20.400
I might've said that a little out of order,

470
00:31:20.520 --> 00:31:21.260
but it's all the same.

471
00:31:21.660 --> 00:31:23.800
So remember, again, the soil in our hearts

472
00:31:23.800 --> 00:31:26.620
is not only important, but it's vital,

473
00:31:27.580 --> 00:31:29.020
just like vital nutrients.

474
00:31:29.280 --> 00:31:33.280
If a mom or baby isn't getting the nutrients that they need,

475
00:31:33.360 --> 00:31:36.540
they will then hook them up to an IV or whatever

476
00:31:36.540 --> 00:31:38.220
and give them the nutrients that they need.

477
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.320
So some examples of inner vows.

478
00:31:42.500 --> 00:31:44.260
Let me go ahead and cover that real quick.

479
00:31:46.060 --> 00:31:47.720
Y'all, there's a couple of things in the book tonight.

480
00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:48.540
I know it can be a lot,

481
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:50.120
but I just want you to kind of absorb it

482
00:31:50.120 --> 00:31:51.000
the best that you can.

483
00:31:51.660 --> 00:31:53.080
Even though you won't be able to replace

484
00:31:53.080 --> 00:31:54.800
the actual events that happened in your life,

485
00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:58.020
you can replace the lies that you believed,

486
00:31:58.200 --> 00:32:00.800
and most importantly, the vows that you made

487
00:32:00.800 --> 00:32:02.540
as a result of the lies.

488
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:04.540
When you experience these hurts in your life,

489
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:05.880
they make us sad.

490
00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:09.860
And when we are sad, that's when anger shows up.

491
00:32:11.800 --> 00:32:13.460
Anger is always the defender.

492
00:32:14.200 --> 00:32:16.180
It always shows up when those wounded

493
00:32:16.300 --> 00:32:18.620
and vulnerable parts of our heart feel threatened.

494
00:32:19.280 --> 00:32:22.100
You wanna think of it as hurts bodyguard.

495
00:32:22.520 --> 00:32:24.660
When anger is around, we feel strong.

496
00:32:24.780 --> 00:32:26.740
And when we start to make inner vows,

497
00:32:27.060 --> 00:32:29.160
like nobody's ever gonna hurt me again.

498
00:32:29.580 --> 00:32:30.840
I don't care about anybody.

499
00:32:31.020 --> 00:32:32.280
I can't trust anybody.

500
00:32:32.440 --> 00:32:34.920
I will never turn out like my mother or father.

501
00:32:35.120 --> 00:32:36.580
I won't be made a fool anymore.

502
00:32:36.760 --> 00:32:38.240
Nobody is gonna tell me what to do.

503
00:32:38.420 --> 00:32:40.400
I can't tell anybody about this.

504
00:32:40.520 --> 00:32:44.420
I will be perfect from now on so nobody can reject me.

505
00:32:45.180 --> 00:32:46.980
We make a decision to harden our hearts

506
00:32:46.980 --> 00:32:48.540
and it makes sense in the moment.

507
00:32:49.360 --> 00:32:50.720
We think if we make these vows

508
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:52.340
and build these walls around our hearts,

509
00:32:52.360 --> 00:32:54.740
we can keep all of the bad things out.

510
00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:56.580
But guess what?

511
00:32:56.940 --> 00:32:58.440
When we do that, unfortunately,

512
00:32:58.540 --> 00:33:01.960
we're also keeping all the good things from coming in.

513
00:33:02.820 --> 00:33:05.300
And to stop surviving and start thriving,

514
00:33:05.500 --> 00:33:07.820
we have to let the good things in.

515
00:33:08.340 --> 00:33:12.500
And so another vow might be, I'll never date him

516
00:33:12.500 --> 00:33:14.920
or marry a Larry or a guy of a certain ethnicity

517
00:33:14.920 --> 00:33:16.760
or a guy with a certain job type.

518
00:33:17.580 --> 00:33:20.300
I'm never gonna let my guard down ever again.

519
00:33:20.760 --> 00:33:22.960
There's more and more and more of these, you all,

520
00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:25.000
but those are just a few to help you kind of start

521
00:33:25.060 --> 00:33:28.120
to hopefully resonate somewhere in that tonight.

522
00:33:28.380 --> 00:33:31.760
I also wanna talk about always or never statements.

523
00:33:34.240 --> 00:33:36.280
Think about the last week.

524
00:33:37.320 --> 00:33:39.300
Did you have any thoughts that,

525
00:33:39.840 --> 00:33:41.660
or did you say anything out of your mouth

526
00:33:41.660 --> 00:33:45.120
that included the words always or never?

527
00:33:45.520 --> 00:33:47.060
They always do that.

528
00:33:47.580 --> 00:33:49.780
I always get passed over.

529
00:33:50.840 --> 00:33:52.600
Men never come through for me.

530
00:33:53.840 --> 00:33:55.720
Men never pick me.

531
00:33:56.580 --> 00:33:57.820
Men never pick heavier women.

532
00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:01.820
Men never pick skinny, tall, short women,

533
00:34:01.940 --> 00:34:05.780
whatever it is that your opposite is most likely

534
00:34:05.780 --> 00:34:08.219
or what you struggle with is what you're gonna put in that.

535
00:34:08.219 --> 00:34:11.120
I'm never seen, I'm never noticed.

536
00:34:12.040 --> 00:34:13.340
We talked about this this afternoon

537
00:34:13.340 --> 00:34:14.679
and I think this is really important.

538
00:34:15.139 --> 00:34:18.440
Dating is hard, but really underneath the surface

539
00:34:18.440 --> 00:34:23.139
of even that is dating never works for me.

540
00:34:24.139 --> 00:34:26.679
Do you see how these things connect in there?

541
00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:27.960
Super important.

542
00:34:28.360 --> 00:34:31.679
When we say or partner with things like always or never,

543
00:34:32.380 --> 00:34:35.420
those are automatic signals that we have an inner vow

544
00:34:35.420 --> 00:34:36.679
at work within us,

545
00:34:37.540 --> 00:34:40.000
that there's an inner vow that we're partnering with

546
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:42.460
that we subconsciously didn't even know was in there.

547
00:34:42.659 --> 00:34:45.320
And so I'm gonna turn it over to Annette.

548
00:34:45.420 --> 00:34:46.360
I would love for her to share

549
00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:48.360
what God put on her heart for tonight.

550
00:34:48.560 --> 00:34:49.739
And then we're gonna get ready

551
00:34:49.800 --> 00:34:51.699
for breakout sessions after that.

552
00:34:52.860 --> 00:34:53.659
Thanks, Bethany.

553
00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:54.679
Yeah.

554
00:34:54.840 --> 00:34:57.760
As I was praying tonight about what to share,

555
00:34:58.340 --> 00:34:59.980
a couple of things came to mind.

556
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.580
First of all, the words that we speak

557
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:06.280
or the others speak over us.

558
00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:09.300
I was in college clearly years ago

559
00:35:09.500 --> 00:35:12.200
and in the dorms one night, we were all bored.

560
00:35:12.740 --> 00:35:16.460
So we took turns doing everybody's makeup

561
00:35:16.520 --> 00:35:21.540
like in really crazy ways and big hair

562
00:35:21.540 --> 00:35:23.040
and all kinds of stuff.

563
00:35:23.180 --> 00:35:26.100
And one of my friends who has a good heart

564
00:35:26.620 --> 00:35:28.660
but she turned around and she said to me,

565
00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:34.020
you, you can really get the ugly going.

566
00:35:35.100 --> 00:35:37.440
And when she said that to me, my heart shattered

567
00:35:38.060 --> 00:35:40.680
and I didn't respond to what she said.

568
00:35:40.760 --> 00:35:42.260
Like everybody kind of laughed

569
00:35:42.260 --> 00:35:44.620
because the conversation was lighthearted.

570
00:35:45.940 --> 00:35:49.560
I carried that statement with me for years

571
00:35:49.940 --> 00:35:55.460
and it would come up just at pretty inconvenient times

572
00:35:55.460 --> 00:35:57.420
actually, when I would be trying to be confident

573
00:35:57.880 --> 00:36:01.160
then it would be like, remember, you can really be ugly

574
00:36:01.560 --> 00:36:03.540
in how you look.

575
00:36:04.300 --> 00:36:10.060
And I remember distinctly when God just spoke over me,

576
00:36:10.520 --> 00:36:11.920
you are my creation.

577
00:36:12.780 --> 00:36:16.880
Those words were not meant for you

578
00:36:17.160 --> 00:36:20.460
and they are not how I see you.

579
00:36:21.400 --> 00:36:24.500
And so then to make the shift mentally

580
00:36:24.500 --> 00:36:27.980
when that would come up, I recognized it

581
00:36:28.060 --> 00:36:30.720
and then I would speak the truth.

582
00:36:31.180 --> 00:36:34.140
Like I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

583
00:36:34.740 --> 00:36:36.860
I am a beautiful daughter of the King.

584
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:40.020
I would say those things over me

585
00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:44.240
so to combat the lies, to say the truth,

586
00:36:44.600 --> 00:36:47.400
to speak the truth, to speak God's truth over me

587
00:36:47.400 --> 00:36:49.020
rather than just passively

588
00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:52.280
let that thought ruminate inside of me.

589
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:56.060
So that was one thing that came to mind

590
00:36:56.180 --> 00:36:59.560
that God really did transform my heart

591
00:37:01.060 --> 00:37:03.340
and deliver me from believing that.

592
00:37:03.540 --> 00:37:05.520
But the other thing was in the heart work,

593
00:37:05.660 --> 00:37:08.260
what really came up for me was comparing.

594
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:11.340
I would often compare myself to people

595
00:37:12.900 --> 00:37:14.960
and it worked out great for me.

596
00:37:15.140 --> 00:37:17.320
I thought that I came out on top

597
00:37:17.380 --> 00:37:19.460
but when I didn't come out on top,

598
00:37:19.460 --> 00:37:21.400
the things that I would say to myself

599
00:37:21.960 --> 00:37:24.820
that you're never gonna be able to do this

600
00:37:24.820 --> 00:37:26.760
or you would never be able to do what they do

601
00:37:26.760 --> 00:37:27.920
or that may have worked for them

602
00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:30.360
but it certainly wouldn't have worked for you.

603
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:32.480
That was huge.

604
00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:35.040
There was so much freedom that came

605
00:37:35.500 --> 00:37:38.900
when I could celebrate others

606
00:37:39.380 --> 00:37:42.100
and what God had done for them

607
00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:44.700
rather than think, well, especially like,

608
00:37:44.980 --> 00:37:46.280
oh, it's never gonna happen for me.

609
00:37:46.580 --> 00:37:47.520
When I was in the heart work

610
00:37:47.520 --> 00:37:49.480
and people started getting engaged and married,

611
00:37:50.040 --> 00:37:53.380
you, at first it was kind of hard to be like,

612
00:37:54.060 --> 00:37:56.440
congratulations, so happy for you

613
00:37:56.440 --> 00:37:59.420
but my heart followed my actions.

614
00:38:00.020 --> 00:38:03.260
It wasn't that I waited until I really felt that way

615
00:38:03.260 --> 00:38:08.800
that I started before then acting on what I know

616
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:11.060
to be true of God's promises.

617
00:38:11.520 --> 00:38:13.320
And by acting on those,

618
00:38:14.660 --> 00:38:17.440
that is where the change started to happen,

619
00:38:17.440 --> 00:38:18.980
where I came out of alignment

620
00:38:19.080 --> 00:38:22.640
with comparing myself with other people, other women

621
00:38:22.640 --> 00:38:24.440
and I could celebrate them

622
00:38:24.440 --> 00:38:26.140
for the gifts that God had given them

623
00:38:26.140 --> 00:38:28.400
because I'm able to recognize the gifts

624
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:29.720
that he's given to me.

625
00:38:30.100 --> 00:38:34.260
And so that would be my prayer for all of you as well,

626
00:38:34.460 --> 00:38:37.160
that you let go of comparing

627
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:40.660
and walk in the freedom of who God created you to be

628
00:38:40.660 --> 00:38:43.800
because he's given you all gifts and talents

629
00:38:43.800 --> 00:38:46.760
and abilities that are unique to you.

630
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:50.820
Nobody else, and he needs you to utilize those

631
00:38:50.820 --> 00:38:53.160
and walk in them to fulfill the purposes

632
00:38:53.160 --> 00:38:55.280
and plans that he has for you.

633
00:38:56.580 --> 00:38:57.740
Thank you, Bethany.

634
00:38:58.060 --> 00:38:59.020
That was so good.

635
00:38:59.140 --> 00:39:00.780
Thank you so much for those reminders

636
00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:02.660
and just sharing y'all.

637
00:39:02.940 --> 00:39:06.760
This is where, when she shared what that person said to her

638
00:39:06.760 --> 00:39:09.660
and what she said, if you didn't notice,

639
00:39:09.820 --> 00:39:12.580
she said, they all kind of started chuckling.

640
00:39:13.660 --> 00:39:17.640
Sometimes people are saying things kind of joking.

641
00:39:17.980 --> 00:39:19.300
I'm just being sarcastic.

642
00:39:20.580 --> 00:39:24.320
Y'all, no, guess what?

643
00:39:24.600 --> 00:39:27.500
Sarcasm is often anger underlying

644
00:39:27.800 --> 00:39:30.420
and it comes out through sarcastic comments.

645
00:39:30.700 --> 00:39:33.460
So if a friend says something to you that is harmful,

646
00:39:33.480 --> 00:39:37.060
I want you to really start praying about kindly,

647
00:39:38.080 --> 00:39:41.580
not reacting, but as your heart heals

648
00:39:41.580 --> 00:39:43.360
that you would tell them like,

649
00:39:43.380 --> 00:39:46.980
hey, when you said this, I felt this way.

650
00:39:47.420 --> 00:39:49.160
Remember, it's us owning it.

651
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:50.660
They're not making us.

652
00:39:50.840 --> 00:39:52.040
I catch myself all the time.

653
00:39:52.420 --> 00:39:54.600
This person may, oh, no, they didn't make me.

654
00:39:54.860 --> 00:39:55.820
I felt this.

655
00:39:56.060 --> 00:39:57.000
Owning my feelings.

656
00:39:57.340 --> 00:39:59.460
So we own our feelings, but.

657
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.940
hey, it's okay for us to let a friend or someone know what they said or did hurt us,

658
00:40:07.200 --> 00:40:12.640
and let's just see what God wants to do with that, right? All right, so your breakout question is

659
00:40:12.840 --> 00:40:18.180
this. What inner vows do you need to come out of alignment with today, tonight? If you don't know

660
00:40:18.180 --> 00:40:23.940
what the inner vow is, remember you can share about an always or never statement, maybe something

661
00:40:23.940 --> 00:40:30.000
that you tend to say or think in that category, and then you can start to ask God to reveal to

662
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:35.360
you the inner vow from there. All right, I'm going to open these rooms for you, and then

663
00:40:35.700 --> 00:40:39.740
you'll go from there. Here you go. You guys have seven minutes.

664
00:40:40.740 --> 00:40:43.340
Short, brief, and powerful. Remember, click to join as quick as you can.

665
00:40:53.040 --> 00:40:57.200
All right, just watching to see if our ladies all get situated here.

666
00:41:01.520 --> 00:41:06.500
Okay, Kalandra, thank you for letting me know that I can move some of our other ladies around.

667
00:41:17.840 --> 00:41:22.080
Sorry, you all have several people sitting by themselves tonight.

668
00:41:22.700 --> 00:41:25.920
Father, thank you so much for helping us get people situated,

669
00:41:28.580 --> 00:41:34.480
Lord, that they would have great conversations. We thank you, Lord, for revealings, for healing that

670
00:41:34.480 --> 00:41:40.020
are even happening already tonight. God, we thank you that you see us. You know us better than we

671
00:41:40.020 --> 00:41:43.320
even know ourselves. God, you know how to bring the things to the surface that need to be brought

672
00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:50.960
to the surface. We thank you, Lord, for illuminating every area of our hearts and our

673
00:41:50.960 --> 00:41:57.320
minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls. God, that you are bringing those things out of

674
00:41:57.900 --> 00:42:08.920
darkness into the light. Yes, Lord, I thank you, God, for, yeah, I just heard the scripture,

675
00:42:09.120 --> 00:42:13.040
it just talks about not despising the day of small beginnings, and I'm not trying to take it

676
00:42:13.040 --> 00:42:17.440
out of context, but the reality is, is even in our heart work, you know, the Lord doesn't want

677
00:42:17.460 --> 00:42:23.640
us to despise the small breakthroughs, the small wins that we're experiencing, because all of those

678
00:42:23.640 --> 00:42:28.300
will start to add up and they'll start to create momentum as we go. And so just want to encourage

679
00:42:28.300 --> 00:42:33.480
you this week to pause and celebrate your growth. Even if you've only been here for a few days in

680
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:38.480
the heart work, celebrating your growth and how far you've come is going to be a really powerful

681
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:45.760
aspect for so many of you, especially if in your life you were not celebrated a lot.

682
00:42:46.820 --> 00:42:51.700
Maybe your parents didn't, that wasn't just one of their strengths, and God wants you to learn

683
00:42:51.700 --> 00:42:56.980
how to do that in your own life so that you can do that then in your love story and marriage together.

684
00:42:57.420 --> 00:43:04.920
And so often that's going to help us overcome the negativity. Yes, like hard things happen all

685
00:43:04.920 --> 00:43:09.840
the time, you all, but when it's not ignoring those things, but when we focus on the things

686
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:14.700
that are true and noble and lovely and of good report, the things that are above only and not

687
00:43:15.420 --> 00:43:20.380
beneath y'all, it shifts everything. So what are we going to partner with this week? Are we going

688
00:43:20.380 --> 00:43:25.280
to partner with, it's never, it's never going to work for me. I never have success in this area.

689
00:43:25.420 --> 00:43:30.100
You know, even the enemies keeps trying to, I've been trying to work on getting my health under

690
00:43:30.100 --> 00:43:35.840
again, and I can't tell you how many times the enemy is like, yep, see, it's not working. What

691
00:43:35.840 --> 00:43:41.280
you're doing is not working. And I've been like, yep, it's not working and partnering with him.

692
00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:47.080
And I have to really get that under control and really ask the Lord to help me in every aspect

693
00:43:47.080 --> 00:43:51.020
of that. And so we just want to partner with you, Lord, in everything that we're doing,

694
00:43:51.020 --> 00:43:57.680
that you would continue to just bring. Yes, Lord, that you would show the ladies the fruit

695
00:43:57.680 --> 00:44:02.660
in their lives that is not benefiting them Lord, where they have been going down pathways and,

696
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:07.600
and harmful directions that just got are not a part of your plan and purpose for them.

697
00:44:07.720 --> 00:44:11.280
And I thank you that you would take their feet off of those pathways of pain and put their feet

698
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:19.020
on the pathways that lead back to you. Isaiah 40 verse 31 says, but those who hope in the Lord

699
00:44:19.020 --> 00:44:24.500
will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.

700
00:44:24.500 --> 00:44:33.260
They will walk and not be faint. Proverbs 23, 23 in the passions, passion translation says this

701
00:44:33.380 --> 00:44:41.360
embrace the truth and hold it close. Don't let go of wisdom instruction and life giving understanding.

702
00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:48.700
Sometimes, uh, every Wednesday we do this prayer walk and, uh, I have this, I'm going to show it

703
00:44:48.700 --> 00:44:54.340
to you all. I have this orange Bible that I carry. It was a gift given to me and one of my leadership

704
00:44:54.340 --> 00:44:59.880
in one of the churches I served with. And I love this. I love all my Bibles, but

705
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.500
I love that I can hold this.

706
00:45:01.660 --> 00:45:04.000
It feels small enough and close.

707
00:45:04.420 --> 00:45:06.860
Anyways, the point of what I'm trying to say

708
00:45:06.860 --> 00:45:09.640
is that when I'm praying and walking,

709
00:45:10.080 --> 00:45:13.440
I've noticed myself, a lot of times I would just walk

710
00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:15.180
and I would hold it down or I would be,

711
00:45:15.620 --> 00:45:17.720
excuse me, looking at scriptures, you know,

712
00:45:17.720 --> 00:45:22.140
to try to declare, but several times recently,

713
00:45:22.140 --> 00:45:24.160
there's just, I've just felt this,

714
00:45:24.300 --> 00:45:27.300
like, and I'll walk and I'll just hold it close to me.

715
00:45:27.820 --> 00:45:31.200
And I just start to feel power in my heart from it.

716
00:45:31.280 --> 00:45:33.580
And so I want some of y'all to even consider

717
00:45:33.660 --> 00:45:37.300
and understand that the word of God is living, it's alive.

718
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:40.900
It's powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword.

719
00:45:41.180 --> 00:45:43.420
It cuts through the bone and marrow of things.

720
00:45:44.060 --> 00:45:47.940
And so often we underestimate the power of the word.

721
00:45:48.080 --> 00:45:50.520
And so God wants you to be reminded tonight,

722
00:45:50.540 --> 00:45:52.380
I didn't have a plan of saying this,

723
00:45:52.440 --> 00:45:53.900
it just literally came up in me

724
00:45:53.900 --> 00:45:55.000
as I read that last scripture,

725
00:45:55.680 --> 00:45:58.480
that sometimes, man, just sitting,

726
00:45:58.640 --> 00:46:02.260
just sitting and loving the word that God has given us.

727
00:46:02.740 --> 00:46:05.620
He has so much truth packed in here for us

728
00:46:05.620 --> 00:46:08.640
that we would cherish it, that we would hold it close.

729
00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:11.160
The Bible says that we should, you know,

730
00:46:11.160 --> 00:46:13.960
write the word of God on the tablets of our hearts,

731
00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:17.860
that we should meditate on them day and night.

732
00:46:18.860 --> 00:46:21.780
Oftentimes the enemy takes us into isolation.

733
00:46:21.780 --> 00:46:25.320
He tries to take us out at our weakest points.

734
00:46:26.040 --> 00:46:27.260
So for some of you,

735
00:46:27.340 --> 00:46:29.120
maybe that's been the season you've been in

736
00:46:29.120 --> 00:46:31.240
where you felt really weak and just like the enemy

737
00:46:31.240 --> 00:46:32.620
is just one thing after another.

738
00:46:32.820 --> 00:46:34.500
And I just want to remind you tonight

739
00:46:34.500 --> 00:46:36.120
that God says in his word

740
00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:38.580
that there's good things coming for you.

741
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:41.480
And God has a plan and a purpose to prosper you,

742
00:46:41.480 --> 00:46:44.380
to give you a hope and a future, not to harm you.

743
00:46:44.780 --> 00:46:47.940
And Genesis 50 verse 20, it says, you know,

744
00:46:47.940 --> 00:46:49.200
this is Joseph's story.

745
00:46:50.080 --> 00:46:52.600
God, you know, it was to save him,

746
00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:54.720
but also many people alive.

747
00:46:54.940 --> 00:46:57.260
Like God didn't just save Joseph

748
00:46:57.660 --> 00:47:00.200
when he brought him up out of the prison

749
00:47:00.200 --> 00:47:02.980
and redeemed his life and restored everything

750
00:47:02.980 --> 00:47:04.040
and brought restitution.

751
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:07.600
He also saved Joseph's whole family.

752
00:47:08.240 --> 00:47:11.660
I taught an advanced heart work last week,

753
00:47:12.080 --> 00:47:15.340
and it was all about the gift of forgiveness,

754
00:47:15.520 --> 00:47:17.640
giving the gift of forgiveness this season.

755
00:47:17.640 --> 00:47:19.920
And Jackie launched that last Sunday night.

756
00:47:20.040 --> 00:47:22.460
If you didn't listen to that Sunday night,

757
00:47:22.900 --> 00:47:24.820
Supernatural Sunday night, excuse me,

758
00:47:25.300 --> 00:47:26.260
definitely check that out.

759
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:29.120
But I'm reminded of that again tonight,

760
00:47:29.120 --> 00:47:30.400
that there are so many people,

761
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:33.440
like it might not seem like they deserve forgiveness,

762
00:47:33.640 --> 00:47:35.640
but it's not up to us to decide that.

763
00:47:36.120 --> 00:47:38.220
It's up to us to obey and choose to forgive.

764
00:47:38.440 --> 00:47:40.300
And as we choose to forgive,

765
00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:42.880
so many things are going to be ushered in for us

766
00:47:42.880 --> 00:47:45.880
that we can receive all that God has for us.

767
00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:48.920
So many times the unforgiveness that we're walking in,

768
00:47:49.060 --> 00:47:51.660
it's blocking the blessings from coming into our lives.

769
00:47:51.720 --> 00:47:55.520
Some of you, you're needing breakthrough and healing,

770
00:47:55.980 --> 00:47:58.340
and part of the problem, part of the obstruction

771
00:47:58.840 --> 00:48:00.120
is the unforgiveness.

772
00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:01.020
It's the bitterness.

773
00:48:01.320 --> 00:48:02.700
It's the resentment that we partner with.

774
00:48:02.920 --> 00:48:06.760
So super important for us to be in forgiving mode,

775
00:48:07.300 --> 00:48:09.200
always, always, always keeping short accounts

776
00:48:09.200 --> 00:48:10.180
before the Lord.

777
00:48:10.820 --> 00:48:11.680
Welcome back, everybody.

778
00:48:11.980 --> 00:48:13.800
The rooms are gonna close officially here

779
00:48:13.800 --> 00:48:14.520
in like two seconds.

780
00:48:14.520 --> 00:48:16.680
Here's everyone coming back.

781
00:48:17.040 --> 00:48:18.600
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

782
00:48:19.060 --> 00:48:21.300
Really quickly, your activations for this week.

783
00:48:21.380 --> 00:48:22.940
I have two for you.

784
00:48:23.880 --> 00:48:27.420
Number one, I just want you to track your thoughts, okay?

785
00:48:27.960 --> 00:48:29.980
I want you to pay attention to the things

786
00:48:29.980 --> 00:48:31.320
that you're thinking about.

787
00:48:32.340 --> 00:48:34.260
Are you thinking negative thoughts?

788
00:48:34.360 --> 00:48:35.500
If so, what are they?

789
00:48:36.060 --> 00:48:37.280
What do they sound like?

790
00:48:37.380 --> 00:48:38.400
Where are they leading you?

791
00:48:39.180 --> 00:48:42.140
What thoughts have you been catching and stopping quicker?

792
00:48:42.200 --> 00:48:43.500
I want you guys to celebrate.

793
00:48:44.220 --> 00:48:46.300
Some of you all, you're growing so much

794
00:48:46.380 --> 00:48:49.060
and you're just being really hard on yourself.

795
00:48:49.700 --> 00:48:51.360
So I want you to see where you've grown

796
00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:52.940
and where you've started catching thoughts

797
00:48:53.580 --> 00:48:55.780
where maybe even a few weeks ago,

798
00:48:55.800 --> 00:48:57.680
you'd be running all the way down the road

799
00:48:57.680 --> 00:49:00.740
with those thoughts, but now you're catching them quicker

800
00:49:01.240 --> 00:49:03.180
and you're casting those things down

801
00:49:03.180 --> 00:49:05.760
and you're actually starting to believe the truth

802
00:49:05.760 --> 00:49:06.640
quicker too.

803
00:49:07.340 --> 00:49:07.900
Celebrate that.

804
00:49:08.220 --> 00:49:09.500
Create a post in the group about it.

805
00:49:09.580 --> 00:49:11.040
Let us know, what are you noticing?

806
00:49:11.680 --> 00:49:14.460
Number two is our roots versus fruits drawing.

807
00:49:14.740 --> 00:49:16.640
Yes, you all, I'm gonna have you draw again.

808
00:49:16.860 --> 00:49:18.240
It's gonna be a lot of fun.

809
00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:21.640
And I think that you can really embrace this

810
00:49:21.640 --> 00:49:22.480
and get a lot out of it.

811
00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:25.920
But I'm gonna show you an example, several examples.

812
00:49:26.820 --> 00:49:28.540
Oh, do I not still have that up?

813
00:49:28.600 --> 00:49:29.780
Hold on one second, y'all.

814
00:49:30.120 --> 00:49:33.520
I thought I still had something up from this afternoon.

815
00:49:33.620 --> 00:49:35.100
I wonder if I accidentally closed it.

816
00:49:35.360 --> 00:49:37.200
Bear with me for one sec.

817
00:49:41.980 --> 00:49:43.320
Oh, now I'm stuck.

818
00:49:45.060 --> 00:49:46.300
Hold on, I gotta share and then stop.

819
00:49:46.540 --> 00:49:47.540
So sorry, y'all.

820
00:49:47.540 --> 00:49:50.260
I don't normally have technical difficulties like this.

821
00:49:51.720 --> 00:49:53.480
Let me just pull this up real quick.

822
00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:55.760
Here we go.

823
00:49:58.480 --> 00:49:58.960
All right.

824
00:49:59.500 --> 00:49:59.980
Now I've got it.

825
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.020
I can share that.

826
00:50:04.100 --> 00:50:12.800
Alright, so this is one example again super important do not compare yourself to other people and what they've done this is just to give you ideas.

827
00:50:13.040 --> 00:50:21.100
To get you started Okay, so this one she posted it in process, so I just want you all to understand she doesn't have any fruit on her tree right now.

828
00:50:21.420 --> 00:50:27.600
But she has all the different routes kind of starting to identify what those are here's the next one i'm going to go through this pretty quickly.

829
00:50:28.160 --> 00:50:36.540
And on her route, you can see it's a little hard to see it, but let's see if I get closer here, you guys can probably see it a little better now.

830
00:50:36.760 --> 00:50:43.100
And you can see some things that she listed there and then underneath of those she listed the lies so basically.

831
00:50:43.500 --> 00:50:56.520
The the roots are showing some of the unhealthy behaviors and things that the unhealthy actions that she was walking in and then she was identifying the lies that were connecting to those underneath okay.

832
00:50:57.600 --> 00:51:06.360
here's another one, this lady was is a teacher so for all my teachers you're going to love this you don't have to do it like this, but I just love to show it and.

833
00:51:07.200 --> 00:51:16.920
Also, because she wrote right at the top, I am worthy and then she said, I will find my husband, I deserve God's best so she's partnering with the truth.

834
00:51:16.920 --> 00:51:41.080
In hers also you'll see some overarching here perfectionism childhood abandonment childhood rejection and that led up into the adult perfectionism adult abandonment and then all the different lies and things that she was experiencing as a result of those all right next one sorry y'all that's probably really close all right my screen.

835
00:51:42.800 --> 00:52:04.240
Here we go that's a little better alright, so this one great, these are all awesome you're going to see the roots going right up into the fruit, the ones that have the leaves and a little bit of pink on them, those are her healthy roots that led up to healthy fruit the other ones without it, that was the way she depicted that this one's done on a computer, this is awesome to y'all, the point is doing it.

836
00:52:04.840 --> 00:52:15.020
The point is praying and really seeking the Lord about what are your unhealthy roots, what are the lies that are connected to them and then what are the fruits displayed in your life here's another one.

837
00:52:17.200 --> 00:52:24.400
here's another one now I love to show this one she's an artist so don't get intimidated okay but i'd love to show this because of the way.

838
00:52:24.400 --> 00:52:37.940
She depicted the unhealthy roots and fruit in the black kind of the darker area and then she displayed her healthy roots and fruit, which you see in the yellow and the gold or the orange colors and stuff there.

839
00:52:37.940 --> 00:52:45.700
And then she brought in the Holy Spirit you all and I love that again you don't have to do yours like that at all, but I just wanted to.

840
00:52:45.700 --> 00:52:54.880
To show you some other people in their process and your process whatever it's going to look like will be amazing and then we want you to post it in the group.

841
00:52:55.600 --> 00:53:02.520
Okay, we want you to come in and post it in the group alright, so I see yosh and Bambi already have their hands up that's awesome.

842
00:53:03.160 --> 00:53:12.700
And if you are willing to share the intervals that you're going to come out of alignment with tonight would love for you to go ahead and put your hand up as well we'll get through as many people as we can in the next.

843
00:53:12.700 --> 00:53:18.060
37 minutes y'all all right yosh go ahead would love to hear what you have to say.

844
00:53:19.100 --> 00:53:28.860
I have it's any so I think this was really important when you said that what are the inner vows because i've been experiencing a very recent one.

845
00:53:30.240 --> 00:53:38.720
So i've been getting really anxious and panicky this year, in fact, I was very sick during the first half of the year as well.

846
00:53:39.420 --> 00:53:52.400
So I remember my parents i'm the only child in the family, just to give a little bit of background my parents always kind of compared me when I was a kid when it comes to education certain other things.

847
00:53:52.760 --> 00:54:04.060
I knew that their intentions were good just to push me forward, but then again it's like it got me always striving always running for this race kind of never ending race right.

848
00:54:04.060 --> 00:54:14.520
And as an adult I start comparing myself to a lot of things, and even if someone says something negative I start comparing and you know go on a whole spiral.

849
00:54:15.400 --> 00:54:23.440
And so, in 2024 my mom got sick, so I work in Hong Kong and my parents live in Sri Lanka, so.

850
00:54:24.040 --> 00:54:39.240
I if something happens, I kind of need to come back take a plane and fly back to Sri Lanka, so my mom has already gone through stenting procedure and a bypass heart open heart surgery by then, and so she, this was the first kind of heart procedure.

851
00:54:40.120 --> 00:54:59.980
That she has to go through when I was away from the home country, so when I heard the news, I remember very well that I froze and I remember when I heard that that she said that she the doctor said that she has had a silent attack heart attack and she has to go through this stenting procedure for a different.

852
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.660
area of her heart. I remember in Hong Kong I froze and for about good 20 minutes I couldn't

853
00:55:06.660 --> 00:55:13.840
read and I had blurry vision. I believe that was the start of this anxiety and then I flew

854
00:55:13.840 --> 00:55:17.840
back to Sri Lanka and God was so gracious. He carried my mother and all of us through

855
00:55:17.880 --> 00:55:24.320
that procedure and she's quite well now with the grace of God, praise God. So I think after

856
00:55:24.320 --> 00:55:31.400
that incident, I get anxious, the smallest thing. I think it's just that me wanting to

857
00:55:32.140 --> 00:55:36.200
control everything. I think that is an inner lie. And the other one I was believing is

858
00:55:36.200 --> 00:55:41.560
if something happens, I'm alone. How am I going to handle it? Because my parents always

859
00:55:41.560 --> 00:55:45.860
say, sometimes they say, you need to get married. You're alone. You know that you're the only

860
00:55:45.860 --> 00:55:50.640
child. You need to get married. Why are you not being active? I mean, it's not that I'm

861
00:55:50.640 --> 00:55:57.640
not active. It's just, yes, I have gone through a very toxic relationship for years. And then,

862
00:55:57.640 --> 00:56:04.620
you know, I started healing and started hard work and all of that. So I think it's just

863
00:56:04.620 --> 00:56:09.920
that I need to come out. I believe I need to come out partnership with, okay, how am

864
00:56:09.920 --> 00:56:13.100
I going to do everything alone? I mean, truth is, yes.

865
00:56:13.560 --> 00:56:17.300
You do. And here's the thing, interestingly enough, the first thing that comes to mind

866
00:56:17.300 --> 00:56:22.080
and I wouldn't always coach everybody in the same way. So ladies understand that what

867
00:56:22.080 --> 00:56:27.500
I'm going to say to her may or may not apply to you. Okay. So just, you would need to pray

868
00:56:27.500 --> 00:56:36.480
about that. But what I feel led to say to you, Yash, first is that I heard this sermon

869
00:56:36.480 --> 00:56:41.420
a while back and the pastor was talking about when he went to a counseling session and the

870
00:56:41.640 --> 00:56:48.860
counselor said to him about this fear and anxiety he was having, what if the worst thing

871
00:56:48.860 --> 00:56:58.000
you could imagine came true? And he basically walked him through facing that. And then in

872
00:56:58.000 --> 00:57:02.720
facing that, it actually empowered him to know that no matter what, God was going to

873
00:57:02.720 --> 00:57:09.260
be with him and would help him know how to navigate it. And so when you said, I need

874
00:57:09.260 --> 00:57:16.280
to face this in your own way, you kind of said that I really want you to, I don't believe

875
00:57:16.280 --> 00:57:21.620
you're going to end up alone. Okay. I don't, but here's the thing. I think you allowing

876
00:57:21.820 --> 00:57:29.280
yourself to face what would really happen if I, if my mom or my dad wasn't here and

877
00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:35.480
I was technically alone, what would, what Lord, what would happen? Could I survive?

878
00:57:35.480 --> 00:57:42.000
How would I navigate life? And just where you really understand that God is going to

879
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:47.220
enable you no matter what. Now, I don't necessarily think by any means that that's, you know,

880
00:57:47.240 --> 00:57:53.240
God, just going to start like, number one, God doesn't take people right from the enemy,

881
00:57:53.400 --> 00:57:59.620
but just that we also keep that kind of stuff in line so many times that we are looking at things

882
00:58:00.180 --> 00:58:09.400
and the control really comes from fear, you know? And so most people would want,

883
00:58:09.540 --> 00:58:12.900
if they have a good relationship with their parents, especially are going to want to be

884
00:58:12.900 --> 00:58:17.860
there with their parents when something like that is happening. So I don't know that I would think

885
00:58:17.860 --> 00:58:24.140
that was you trying to control everything. I think that is fear functioning and fueling

886
00:58:24.140 --> 00:58:31.060
your anxiety is what I think. And so the not being able to breathe and blurred vision,

887
00:58:31.420 --> 00:58:38.460
definitely a panic attack, anxiety, you know? And so I would encourage you to ask the Lord,

888
00:58:39.180 --> 00:58:49.220
what were the lies I was hearing when I froze? Because you froze before the other physical

889
00:58:49.220 --> 00:58:57.380
things started happening. And if it is just the, and not that that's not enough, but if it is just

890
00:58:57.380 --> 00:59:04.420
the, I'm going to be alone and what will I do? And this pressure that's put on you to find someone,

891
00:59:04.420 --> 00:59:09.300
because if you're alone, you know, what's, what's the, like, what's being implied there

892
00:59:09.540 --> 00:59:15.900
that you won't be able to make it? You know what I'm saying? And so, again, it's not,

893
00:59:15.900 --> 00:59:19.980
I'm not encouraging you to do that so that you partner with that. I'm going to be alone,

894
00:59:19.980 --> 00:59:28.880
but I think that you need to really allow yourself to come out from underneath of what's been applied

895
00:59:29.680 --> 00:59:34.460
and implied as they've been putting that pressure. They're putting that pressure on you because they

896
00:59:34.460 --> 00:59:41.060
love you. They don't want you to be alone, but the reality is, is that you're never alone.

897
00:59:42.040 --> 00:59:47.200
Yeah. And I know, and I don't want that to sound cliche, like a lot of churches are like,

898
00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:52.520
oh, you should just be fine because you have the Lord. I'm not trying to say that,

899
00:59:52.600 --> 00:59:59.620
but what I am saying is that there is a high level of importance of us understanding that God is with us.

900
01:00:01.280 --> 01:00:04.240
And that we are, we are important.

901
01:00:05.800 --> 01:00:11.940
And as we heal and become that whole person, remember, we're partnering with hopefully

902
01:00:11.940 --> 01:00:13.300
another healed whole person.

903
01:00:13.400 --> 01:00:15.580
And then we can be a team running together.

904
01:00:16.020 --> 01:00:20.760
But I want to encourage you to go ahead and process that this week and just see what comes

905
01:00:20.760 --> 01:00:21.240
up.

906
01:00:21.460 --> 01:00:27.320
And and maybe even I'm hoping that it will empower you a little bit to feel freedom from

907
01:00:27.320 --> 01:00:32.440
the yoke that the enemy is trying to put on you through those implied statements that

908
01:00:32.540 --> 01:00:36.440
you aren't going to be able to make it if you're on your own.

909
01:00:37.100 --> 01:00:40.220
I mean, I think that's probably a big one.

910
01:00:40.380 --> 01:00:44.940
Yeah, just to add one more thing very quickly, because yesterday I went and did my routine

911
01:00:44.940 --> 01:00:45.460
checkup.

912
01:00:45.460 --> 01:00:47.740
And the doctor said the cholesterol was high.

913
01:00:48.200 --> 01:00:51.340
So my both my parents have high cholesterol.

914
01:00:51.620 --> 01:00:53.720
So my mom going on through heart procedures.

915
01:00:54.280 --> 01:01:00.300
So then he goes on, said, you know, down the line, about five, 10 years, you have to consider

916
01:01:01.040 --> 01:01:02.000
taking the tablets.

917
01:01:02.400 --> 01:01:07.100
And I said, I in my heart, I'm saying I'm coming out of agreement with that.

918
01:01:07.220 --> 01:01:13.600
I mean, I am going to take care of myself and then do my best to maintain it below borderline.

919
01:01:13.960 --> 01:01:16.600
So yeah, so it makes sense, makes sense.

920
01:01:16.660 --> 01:01:21.300
I mean, when I saw the reports, I immediately got anxious and then I wanted to go to the

921
01:01:21.300 --> 01:01:21.760
bathroom.

922
01:01:21.760 --> 01:01:24.660
Like, you know, I was having upset stomach and things like that.

923
01:01:24.900 --> 01:01:27.000
So it's something for me to pray about.

924
01:01:27.300 --> 01:01:27.680
It is.

925
01:01:28.180 --> 01:01:29.820
And ladies, you know, this is important.

926
01:01:29.820 --> 01:01:31.700
What she just said, we walk in wisdom.

927
01:01:32.280 --> 01:01:32.800
Okay.

928
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:38.280
But we can also pray that we do not walk in the same things that our parents have walked

929
01:01:38.280 --> 01:01:38.620
in.

930
01:01:38.620 --> 01:01:42.120
Now, y'all, that is a fine line sometimes navigating that.

931
01:01:42.700 --> 01:01:49.260
But I also think it's important for us to allow ourselves that, you know, that place

932
01:01:49.260 --> 01:01:53.760
and that grace to step into partnering with, you know, we're believing for healing, but

933
01:01:53.760 --> 01:01:54.880
we're walking in wisdom.

934
01:01:55.120 --> 01:01:58.120
And how does that kind of balance each other out in the process?

935
01:01:58.220 --> 01:01:58.580
All right.

936
01:01:59.000 --> 01:01:59.600
Super important.

937
01:01:59.800 --> 01:02:00.340
I love that.

938
01:02:00.580 --> 01:02:01.660
Thank you so much for sharing.

939
01:02:02.560 --> 01:02:04.320
Josh, I was praying for you.

940
01:02:05.120 --> 01:02:06.100
Bambi, go ahead.

941
01:02:10.880 --> 01:02:12.340
Can you hear me?

942
01:02:12.640 --> 01:02:13.100
Yeah.

943
01:02:13.100 --> 01:02:15.000
Just maybe talk just a little bit louder.

944
01:02:15.240 --> 01:02:15.940
Just a tiny bit.

945
01:02:18.400 --> 01:02:18.820
Okay.

946
01:02:18.840 --> 01:02:19.240
Is that better?

947
01:02:19.240 --> 01:02:19.720
Yeah.

948
01:02:19.720 --> 01:02:21.460
I'm just recovering from a cold.

949
01:02:21.760 --> 01:02:30.640
I sounded great last week, but what I am, um, yeah, last week I was greatly sounded,

950
01:02:30.860 --> 01:02:33.860
but this week you sound just fine to me.

951
01:02:33.860 --> 01:02:34.520
Yeah.

952
01:02:34.660 --> 01:02:35.220
Okay.

953
01:02:35.260 --> 01:02:37.120
So thanks for your patience.

954
01:02:37.280 --> 01:02:42.620
Um, I'm coming out of agreement of that.

955
01:02:42.620 --> 01:02:49.140
I'm not worth taking care of, especially because of my chronic illnesses that flare up under

956
01:02:49.140 --> 01:02:57.520
stress of taking care of my mom and, um, I deal the layer of her.

957
01:02:57.720 --> 01:03:02.420
It's interesting cause she won't allow me to help her take care of her yet.

958
01:03:02.440 --> 01:03:09.640
I have to be there to take care of her and, um, my, the rest of my siblings that are older

959
01:03:09.640 --> 01:03:15.820
than me that are on the mainland, they just don't really participate other than a call

960
01:03:15.820 --> 01:03:24.280
or a text sometimes, um, and sometimes a stipend for a few, a couple hundred dollars

961
01:03:24.280 --> 01:03:25.660
a month or something like that.

962
01:03:25.660 --> 01:03:34.880
But I take care of everything and, um, and what really sent triggered me was last, was

963
01:03:34.880 --> 01:03:35.620
it two weeks ago?

964
01:03:35.640 --> 01:03:35.880
Yeah.

965
01:03:35.880 --> 01:03:44.300
It was two Mondays ago and my, I called her sister, um, that what's interesting is my

966
01:03:44.300 --> 01:03:49.140
mom's always been very close to her siblings and my dad was very close to his siblings.

967
01:03:49.260 --> 01:03:53.780
But what's interesting is that it hasn't been that way with her own children.

968
01:03:54.860 --> 01:04:04.620
So, um, my aunt who doesn't reach out, never has been present in my life, proceeds to lecture

969
01:04:04.620 --> 01:04:14.280
me on how to leave a voicemail properly, all this stuff and saying that, um, what she thought

970
01:04:14.280 --> 01:04:19.880
that I, everything should be divided equally when it comes to the trust and the will.

971
01:04:19.960 --> 01:04:23.860
Cause I said, yeah, you're the executor and we're just trying to get this amended because

972
01:04:23.860 --> 01:04:24.820
this was years ago.

973
01:04:24.820 --> 01:04:30.880
Now her children are adults like me and you know, so do you have the master copy?

974
01:04:32.160 --> 01:04:37.700
Well, um, because I'm just trying to find the paper trail and she said, well, I'm going

975
01:04:37.700 --> 01:04:43.120
to take a trip to see my friend in Canada, but, um, I'll let you know at the end of January

976
01:04:43.120 --> 01:04:44.380
or something like that.

977
01:04:44.680 --> 01:04:45.340
And I said, okay.

978
01:04:45.540 --> 01:04:51.200
And I thought to myself, wow, your sister has dementia and you're not even, you have

979
01:04:51.200 --> 01:04:52.420
not visited her ever.

980
01:04:52.760 --> 01:04:56.340
And you guys were close and it just, it just baffled me.

981
01:04:56.540 --> 01:04:59.980
But I also understand why and from my aunt's perspective.

982
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:09.860
is that my mom is extremely spiritual, very, you know, people would say religious, although

983
01:05:09.860 --> 01:05:14.860
I know she's not, it's just a relationship with God, but just Jesus is almost every other

984
01:05:14.860 --> 01:05:22.540
word in her conversations. And my aunt Nora is agnostic, so they have a very, my mom,

985
01:05:22.580 --> 01:05:28.720
my aunt doesn't want to really talk to her at all, because it's hard for her, for my

986
01:05:29.880 --> 01:05:34.800
And so my aunt started just saying things and I just started, I just let my aunt have it. I said,

987
01:05:34.840 --> 01:05:41.520
I think you're the most narcissistic, entitled. I mean, you're 30 something years older than me,

988
01:05:41.520 --> 01:05:46.900
and it should come from the top down. And you've never taken interest in your nieces and nephews.

989
01:05:46.940 --> 01:05:51.900
And now you're proceeding to tell me how I need to take care of my, it was just, and she's like,

990
01:05:51.920 --> 01:05:56.320
well, you're my niece, you should reach out to me. And I'm like, are you? Yeah, but you're the

991
01:05:56.420 --> 01:06:05.960
example. And I, anyway, it was just, it, she was just really mean. And she was like this dragon

992
01:06:06.160 --> 01:06:10.120
lady. And she said, you know, I don't think you should get any compensation for anything. So you

993
01:06:10.120 --> 01:06:15.120
had to give up your life for three years. And she started calling me dramatic. Stop being so

994
01:06:15.120 --> 01:06:22.640
dramatic. I'm like, no, but you see, I came back because I was expendable to take care of my mom.

995
01:06:22.640 --> 01:06:27.780
And I let my siblings be free to do whatever they want, whether it was to pursue their careers,

996
01:06:28.580 --> 01:06:34.460
continue to raise their adult children, whatever. And my aunt's just like, okay, whatever. But she

997
01:06:34.460 --> 01:06:39.400
didn't give up your entire life. And so anyway, she's like, it just needs to be even, and you

998
01:06:39.400 --> 01:06:46.220
need to get a job. And I'm like, this is my job. And I thought she would be more understanding

999
01:06:46.220 --> 01:06:52.900
because she care gave for her mom, my grandmother, but she was married. And I said, you had someone

1000
01:06:52.900 --> 01:06:59.860
to help you. It wasn't just you. And I, and then, you know, then you took care of your husband,

1001
01:07:00.020 --> 01:07:04.580
but that's different. And it's hard. I'm going to jump in Bambi. I'm going to jump in. I'm not

1002
01:07:04.580 --> 01:07:12.100
trying to interrupt you, but I want to kind of get to the root regarding you. Okay. All right. So

1003
01:07:12.100 --> 01:07:16.980
and that's all helping me. Okay. It helps me understand. And I remember you talking about

1004
01:07:16.980 --> 01:07:22.460
your aunt and these things that they've said and kind of how your family, the choices that they've

1005
01:07:22.460 --> 01:07:28.980
made and how it's caused you to feel, which is exactly what I was just talking about is us really

1006
01:07:28.980 --> 01:07:37.640
like looking at, okay, people are making choices, but we have to own our feelings. Okay. So in that,

1007
01:07:37.640 --> 01:07:42.780
when you say that tonight you're coming out of alignment with you're not worth being taken care

1008
01:07:44.820 --> 01:07:50.740
of, what, tell me what led you to talk about your aunt regarding that? Not necessarily like

1009
01:07:50.740 --> 01:07:55.060
the whole thing, but just short, brief and powerful. How does that connect to your aunt?

1010
01:07:56.220 --> 01:08:00.160
Because that had to do with the trust in the will that if my mom died tomorrow,

1011
01:08:00.480 --> 01:08:07.080
I'd be maybe on the street. I mean, four of us in Hawaii, that's not a lot. Okay. So

1012
01:08:08.520 --> 01:08:15.160
right. Okay. So was there a time before this happened with your aunt?

1013
01:08:16.779 --> 01:08:23.359
Not, I know about the siblings also kind of siding, but way back when you were younger,

1014
01:08:23.540 --> 01:08:31.080
was there a time that you believed or felt like you weren't worth being taken care of?

1015
01:08:32.020 --> 01:08:39.740
Yes. Okay. Tell me about that time. Okay. Um, cause she was in my life sporadically. So

1016
01:08:39.800 --> 01:08:46.479
when I was your aunt, my aunt, okay. And my mom actually for a long time after my dad died when

1017
01:08:46.479 --> 01:08:54.939
I was 17. So, um, at first my aunt was there and her husband and my grandma. And then, uh,

1018
01:08:55.880 --> 01:09:02.880
uh, I was like 17, 18, something like that. And, uh, I was planning to go to college and I went

1019
01:09:02.880 --> 01:09:07.800
to go visit for a weekend in San Diego from orange County drove down there. And I was just treated

1020
01:09:07.800 --> 01:09:15.800
like a guest, not really like a niece. And, um, I just remember not knowing where to go, what to do

1021
01:09:16.040 --> 01:09:22.460
because my mom suddenly cut me off. Um, and that's because I don't blame her. I was 18. I was

1022
01:09:22.460 --> 01:09:26.439
dealing with grief and I really wasn't ready for college. And so I just wouldn't go to class.

1023
01:09:27.660 --> 01:09:32.960
So yeah, I know. So I went back to college later, but I dropped out early at first cause I wasn't

1024
01:09:32.880 --> 01:09:38.880
ready. Um, but I know where to go. And so I remember just knocking on her door and her,

1025
01:09:39.540 --> 01:09:44.359
my uncle answering her late husband. And he said, yes, can I help you? And I said,

1026
01:09:44.380 --> 01:09:50.479
I don't know what to do or to go. I've got my Hawaiian jury that I inherited from my dad died.

1027
01:09:50.479 --> 01:09:55.200
I can pawn it. I can do something. And he's just like, we can't help you. You're on your own.

1028
01:09:56.300 --> 01:09:58.640
I was like 18. And I had no doubt.

1029
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.360
Then you're saying, am I out because she knew what was going on?

1030
01:10:03.720 --> 01:10:08.620
Yeah. Um, so when you were talking about this first, let me just say,

1031
01:10:08.620 --> 01:10:12.080
I'm sorry that you went through that. I think number one, two,

1032
01:10:12.080 --> 01:10:15.200
I'm sorry to hear that your dad passed away when you were 17.

1033
01:10:15.700 --> 01:10:19.040
That must've been really hard. Yeah.

1034
01:10:19.380 --> 01:10:22.840
And to struggle after that and to,

1035
01:10:23.440 --> 01:10:26.620
it's like I became a surrender. Oh, send, you know, Cinderella,

1036
01:10:26.620 --> 01:10:31.500
how she was kind of like her dad's favorite. That's how it was.

1037
01:10:31.560 --> 01:10:32.560
So when he died,

1038
01:10:33.640 --> 01:10:37.500
some of this where I'm taking you is this,

1039
01:10:38.740 --> 01:10:41.920
when you were talking about the situation with your aunt,

1040
01:10:41.920 --> 01:10:44.440
you said I was treated like a guest and not a niece.

1041
01:10:44.440 --> 01:10:47.020
And I can understand that. Okay. That statement.

1042
01:10:47.540 --> 01:10:49.560
And that might have been very true.

1043
01:10:49.640 --> 01:10:53.140
But what God said to me in my spirit was expectations.

1044
01:10:53.900 --> 01:10:58.940
And I think part of the struggle for you is the expectations you have of other

1045
01:10:58.940 --> 01:10:59.500
people.

1046
01:11:01.000 --> 01:11:02.960
And I understand why you have them,

1047
01:11:03.040 --> 01:11:04.600
because I'm sure that would be really,

1048
01:11:04.920 --> 01:11:07.600
really hard to go through the things that you're going through.

1049
01:11:07.880 --> 01:11:12.940
But I want you to be asking the Lord in the next week to

1050
01:11:12.940 --> 01:11:15.900
help you discern between your,

1051
01:11:17.220 --> 01:11:20.700
like God's expectations on people and

1052
01:11:20.700 --> 01:11:23.660
potentially unrealistic expectations.

1053
01:11:23.900 --> 01:11:28.540
You're putting on people because one of the things that I feel like is

1054
01:11:28.540 --> 01:11:30.580
happening. And again, when I say this,

1055
01:11:30.680 --> 01:11:33.400
know that I'm saying it out of love for you.

1056
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:38.060
And I want to see you move out of this place that you've been in because it is

1057
01:11:38.060 --> 01:11:40.360
hard. You're going through some really tough stuff,

1058
01:11:40.480 --> 01:11:43.780
but what I want to look out for is your heart in the process.

1059
01:11:44.260 --> 01:11:48.700
And I feel like what's happening is the enemy is baiting you with judgment.

1060
01:11:49.660 --> 01:11:53.160
Like he's baiting you. And he wants you to judge these people.

1061
01:11:53.400 --> 01:11:57.740
He wants you to be like angry with them and harsh towards

1062
01:11:57.740 --> 01:12:02.460
them. And you're, and you're basically judgment of their

1063
01:12:02.460 --> 01:12:07.140
lack of whatever it is that they're doing. Okay. And, and again,

1064
01:12:07.340 --> 01:12:12.260
I understand why I'm having been in the

1065
01:12:12.260 --> 01:12:15.140
flip side role. I sometimes tell this story.

1066
01:12:15.140 --> 01:12:17.520
So when I was in college,

1067
01:12:18.440 --> 01:12:23.080
I left college and for about a year and a half helped take care of my

1068
01:12:23.080 --> 01:12:27.080
mom. When she had her aneurysm, I was at the nursing home taking care of her.

1069
01:12:27.140 --> 01:12:27.880
I was doing all the things,

1070
01:12:28.000 --> 01:12:31.260
but then there came a day and a time where I felt like God was like,

1071
01:12:31.260 --> 01:12:32.760
it's time for you to move.

1072
01:12:33.480 --> 01:12:37.320
I knew that I was not going to survive there if I stayed.

1073
01:12:38.480 --> 01:12:39.440
And, um,

1074
01:12:39.460 --> 01:12:44.240
and so I left and my other siblings were

1075
01:12:44.240 --> 01:12:49.100
there to take care of my mom. Now I would go back and visit,

1076
01:12:49.180 --> 01:12:50.500
you know, and things like that.

1077
01:12:50.500 --> 01:12:54.100
It wasn't like I just didn't give it like a rip and I never cared or I didn't

1078
01:12:54.100 --> 01:12:58.080
never take care of her. But I will tell you that my,

1079
01:12:58.760 --> 01:13:00.260
my brother, my one brother,

1080
01:13:00.920 --> 01:13:05.240
especially judges me all the time and has judged me for

1081
01:13:05.520 --> 01:13:08.940
years because I chose to move away.

1082
01:13:08.940 --> 01:13:12.880
Okay. We all make choices. Guess what?

1083
01:13:13.300 --> 01:13:16.700
He chose to stay. Nobody asked him to,

1084
01:13:17.220 --> 01:13:21.660
we could have hired caregivers for my mom. So I'm not,

1085
01:13:22.000 --> 01:13:25.760
they told me that they were going to pay me as a caregiver and everything.

1086
01:13:25.840 --> 01:13:26.680
They tricked me.

1087
01:13:26.980 --> 01:13:29.240
I understand. I'm not trying to trigger you.

1088
01:13:29.480 --> 01:13:32.460
And they were angry and harsh with me. They were swearing at me.

1089
01:13:32.460 --> 01:13:35.780
Yeah. None of that is no idea what I've been through. Yeah.

1090
01:13:35.780 --> 01:13:38.780
And I'm not saying, I'm not saying any of that is okay.

1091
01:13:39.240 --> 01:13:44.180
But what I'm saying is it's my role to care for your heart in the

1092
01:13:44.180 --> 01:13:44.720
process.

1093
01:13:44.920 --> 01:13:49.960
And so I'm just trying to help you get to the place where you

1094
01:13:49.960 --> 01:13:52.680
can release these people in your heart.

1095
01:13:54.600 --> 01:13:56.980
Yeah. But in order to release them in my heart,

1096
01:13:56.980 --> 01:14:00.620
I have to know what I'm going to do with my life. And I gave up my life.

1097
01:14:00.680 --> 01:14:05.580
I was set and I gave everything up, came back here and that's fine.

1098
01:14:05.580 --> 01:14:07.080
But it's just, um,

1099
01:14:07.080 --> 01:14:11.880
I was lied to betrayed by Satan through my siblings and my aunt swearing

1100
01:14:12.000 --> 01:14:15.640
harsh, everything. And every caregiving experience is different. I'm sorry,

1101
01:14:15.680 --> 01:14:19.760
but yours was different. Everyone has a different story.

1102
01:14:20.280 --> 01:14:22.700
It is 100%. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

1103
01:14:23.220 --> 01:14:26.060
So I'm trying to help you to also see though,

1104
01:14:26.460 --> 01:14:30.000
and I know it's uncomfortable and I'm not trying to upset you. Okay.

1105
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:34.280
I'm really not. That was fine. We all choose though.

1106
01:14:35.080 --> 01:14:37.860
I know that you're saying they tricked you. Okay.

1107
01:14:37.880 --> 01:14:41.840
But just like my spiritual daughter's dad,

1108
01:14:43.120 --> 01:14:47.660
there were things he absolutely did do that tricked me. He deceived me.

1109
01:14:47.720 --> 01:14:53.440
He was not an honest man and he was having side relationships and all kinds of

1110
01:14:53.440 --> 01:14:53.760
things.

1111
01:14:54.120 --> 01:14:59.980
But there were things that God was showing me about him that I lied to him.

1112
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.180
blew past those flags and I chose, I chose to date him.

1113
01:15:07.420 --> 01:15:08.920
And that's where ladies, it is hard.

1114
01:15:09.000 --> 01:15:10.100
I know this is a tension.

1115
01:15:10.360 --> 01:15:13.260
So I hope that, you know, I'm genuinely here.

1116
01:15:13.300 --> 01:15:15.000
I'm trying to help everybody see

1117
01:15:15.000 --> 01:15:17.860
that these tension things, they are hard.

1118
01:15:18.520 --> 01:15:20.860
They are hard when we are in these places

1119
01:15:20.860 --> 01:15:22.940
where someone has mistreated us.

1120
01:15:23.140 --> 01:15:27.240
It's not fair and it is painful.

1121
01:15:27.800 --> 01:15:31.200
And I am not minimizing anything that you are going through.

1122
01:15:31.640 --> 01:15:36.760
But what I am saying is that when you give yourself

1123
01:15:37.200 --> 01:15:41.580
permission to say, you know what, I did choose.

1124
01:15:41.780 --> 01:15:44.640
Even if they tricked you, you chose.

1125
01:15:44.820 --> 01:15:47.600
That takes ownership back, that empowers you.

1126
01:15:47.980 --> 01:15:49.780
And then that can help you start

1127
01:15:49.780 --> 01:15:51.940
to make a path forward for yourself.

1128
01:15:52.060 --> 01:15:55.000
And then really just releasing them of the expectations

1129
01:15:55.000 --> 01:15:58.280
so that you can heal and forgive them.

1130
01:15:58.980 --> 01:16:01.440
So expectation of not having a family, basically,

1131
01:16:01.720 --> 01:16:04.100
because that's, that's what they-

1132
01:16:04.100 --> 01:16:05.340
Maybe God wants to give you a new family.

1133
01:16:06.300 --> 01:16:08.600
Maybe he wants to bring healthy people around you.

1134
01:16:08.600 --> 01:16:11.680
And I know that's not easy, but God says

1135
01:16:11.680 --> 01:16:16.060
that he will place the solitary in family in Psalm 68, 6.

1136
01:16:16.160 --> 01:16:17.460
He says that.

1137
01:16:17.660 --> 01:16:18.580
And you know what?

1138
01:16:18.680 --> 01:16:22.100
Sometimes our biological families are not healthy for us.

1139
01:16:22.800 --> 01:16:24.780
And so God wants to give us something

1140
01:16:24.780 --> 01:16:28.420
that will be safe and healthy so we can flourish

1141
01:16:28.720 --> 01:16:31.420
and grow and thrive, you know?

1142
01:16:31.460 --> 01:16:33.560
And so I do believe that God wants to give you

1143
01:16:33.560 --> 01:16:35.020
some new things in the future.

1144
01:16:35.020 --> 01:16:39.360
And I think that he wants to show you how it really can be.

1145
01:16:39.360 --> 01:16:42.280
Because that isn't, I don't believe for a second

1146
01:16:42.280 --> 01:16:44.260
that that is what God intended for you,

1147
01:16:44.440 --> 01:16:47.060
for your siblings and family to mistreat you.

1148
01:16:47.060 --> 01:16:49.680
But I want you to just, you know,

1149
01:16:49.680 --> 01:16:54.080
in your own ability to see what should I own

1150
01:16:54.080 --> 01:16:55.360
in that process?

1151
01:16:55.400 --> 01:16:58.240
I'm not saying all of it, but what part is your part?

1152
01:16:58.320 --> 01:17:01.300
Because we all play a part in every story, okay?

1153
01:17:01.300 --> 01:17:03.220
There's a lot of people in every story.

1154
01:17:03.320 --> 01:17:06.860
So we have to know what was our part that we have to own.

1155
01:17:07.340 --> 01:17:10.700
And then where can I move forward, Lord, in this?

1156
01:17:11.100 --> 01:17:14.280
Like, how do I need to shift so that I can start

1157
01:17:14.920 --> 01:17:17.180
to move forward and find freedom?

1158
01:17:17.740 --> 01:17:20.140
And part of that is forgiving people

1159
01:17:20.200 --> 01:17:22.060
and releasing them of the expectations,

1160
01:17:22.540 --> 01:17:23.240
releasing them of judgment.

1161
01:17:23.240 --> 01:17:27.280
But also, dare I say that you start making

1162
01:17:27.280 --> 01:17:28.620
some plans for yourself?

1163
01:17:29.800 --> 01:17:31.540
And I don't know what that looks like,

1164
01:17:31.620 --> 01:17:33.320
but I'm just gonna plant that seed

1165
01:17:33.320 --> 01:17:35.020
and I'll let you pray about that

1166
01:17:35.020 --> 01:17:37.040
and see where the Lord might lead you in that

1167
01:17:37.120 --> 01:17:39.500
in the next few weeks here.

1168
01:17:39.620 --> 01:17:42.280
I think there's good things in store for you.

1169
01:17:43.560 --> 01:17:47.120
And man, if God could open prison gates,

1170
01:17:47.120 --> 01:17:50.040
because he did,

1171
01:17:52.100 --> 01:17:54.200
I believe he can open the prison gates

1172
01:17:54.200 --> 01:17:57.160
that you feel bound by as well, so to speak.

1173
01:17:57.160 --> 01:17:57.660
Okay?

1174
01:17:58.020 --> 01:17:58.800
I'm glad you said that.

1175
01:17:58.820 --> 01:18:00.160
Yeah, that's how it feels.

1176
01:18:00.260 --> 01:18:01.420
Yeah, I'm sure.

1177
01:18:01.720 --> 01:18:03.540
I'm sure that feels like that.

1178
01:18:03.740 --> 01:18:06.800
I genuinely, even though my situation has been different,

1179
01:18:06.840 --> 01:18:09.420
I do want you to know that I, like I said,

1180
01:18:09.440 --> 01:18:11.660
I was there caring for her every day.

1181
01:18:11.660 --> 01:18:13.940
And I did, I gave up school.

1182
01:18:13.960 --> 01:18:16.700
And you wanna know, I was bitter at my family

1183
01:18:16.700 --> 01:18:18.460
for giving up, I left college,

1184
01:18:18.620 --> 01:18:20.740
I gave up part of my young life.

1185
01:18:21.280 --> 01:18:22.500
I was angry.

1186
01:18:23.400 --> 01:18:25.300
So there were things that I felt

1187
01:18:25.300 --> 01:18:26.740
that I was resonating with you on,

1188
01:18:26.740 --> 01:18:28.860
and that's really what I was trying to get at.

1189
01:18:28.980 --> 01:18:30.920
But I had to forgive them for that,

1190
01:18:31.040 --> 01:18:32.240
because I still chose.

1191
01:18:33.120 --> 01:18:34.560
I still chose to leave college.

1192
01:18:35.940 --> 01:18:35.940


1193
01:18:36.760 --> 01:18:36.760


1194
01:18:37.140 --> 01:18:39.540
Praying for you, believing for good things for you.

1195
01:18:39.660 --> 01:18:42.260
I appreciate you letting me kind of

1196
01:18:42.260 --> 01:18:43.720
wrestle with you in that.

1197
01:18:43.980 --> 01:18:45.880
I hope that your heart is still okay.

1198
01:18:45.880 --> 01:18:46.940
Are you good?

1199
01:18:47.360 --> 01:18:48.380
Okay, I just wanna make sure.

1200
01:18:48.400 --> 01:18:49.180
Yes, thank you, Bethany.

1201
01:18:49.220 --> 01:18:49.960
You're welcome.

1202
01:18:50.160 --> 01:18:51.200
I love you guys.

1203
01:18:51.260 --> 01:18:52.940
I really always just want the best.

1204
01:18:53.620 --> 01:18:56.440
And I know that sometimes we can get offended too,

1205
01:18:56.460 --> 01:18:57.840
cause it can be tough.

1206
01:18:58.100 --> 01:19:01.600
So I just wanna make a check in with you before I move on.

1207
01:19:01.780 --> 01:19:02.400
All right.

1208
01:19:02.800 --> 01:19:05.800
Kelly, let's hear what you have to say.

1209
01:19:10.200 --> 01:19:15.080
I'm really struggling with rejection and control and anger.

1210
01:19:15.880 --> 01:19:20.160
My husband passed away May 12th of 22.

1211
01:19:20.340 --> 01:19:22.460
He was a volunteer firefighter

1212
01:19:22.460 --> 01:19:24.560
and he was in the line of duty.

1213
01:19:25.520 --> 01:19:32.040
And a green bin came on top of him

1214
01:19:32.040 --> 01:19:35.180
and it took about four hours before they found him.

1215
01:19:36.180 --> 01:19:40.480
And I really feel like I'm in a really small community.

1216
01:19:40.860 --> 01:19:45.800
There's only about 200 people that live in the community.

1217
01:19:46.480 --> 01:19:51.420
And I just, he was the first person that really,

1218
01:19:51.800 --> 01:19:53.780
I had a really tough childhood

1219
01:19:53.800 --> 01:19:58.360
and I didn't come to the Lord until I was 18.

1220
01:19:58.560 --> 01:19:59.980
And he was the first person.

1221
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.000
and that showed me unconditional love. And I just really believe that God brought us together. And

1222
01:20:06.720 --> 01:20:14.380
he just loved me through some really difficult times. And I just feel really rejected by

1223
01:20:14.380 --> 01:20:23.560
the community and just the people that I thought were going to be here for, you know, our, you know,

1224
01:20:23.560 --> 01:20:33.020
um, close friends, they've kind of disappeared. And I'm just people that I thought

1225
01:20:34.680 --> 01:20:41.560
were gonna be here for me aren't and it's just tough. And, and I had to

1226
01:20:43.420 --> 01:20:48.760
probably a year and a half ago, I had to sever ties with my

1227
01:20:50.600 --> 01:21:00.080
um, parents because they had been so abusive. I had to take a, like, for my own, you know,

1228
01:21:00.120 --> 01:21:06.700
Ryan wasn't there to protect me anymore. And I had to just say, you know, I, I can't do this

1229
01:21:06.740 --> 01:21:16.660
at this time. So, but so I'm really rejection is really tough. And, and I really thought that

1230
01:21:16.660 --> 01:21:25.300
had put another man in my life and that ended up being a huge rejection too. So it's just like

1231
01:21:26.060 --> 01:21:33.280
rejection, rejection, rejection. Well, first I just want to say, even though your husband is

1232
01:21:33.280 --> 01:21:42.300
not here, I'm so grateful for his service and the way that he, yeah, I have family, uh, friends,

1233
01:21:42.300 --> 01:21:49.060
dear friends that I consider family. Her son is a firefighter and I, in some small way,

1234
01:21:49.080 --> 01:21:55.040
understand the risk that they take every day and then how that impacts their families. And so I

1235
01:21:55.040 --> 01:22:01.840
just want to say, I'm so sorry for your loss and, um, you know, just how you're feeling in the

1236
01:22:01.840 --> 01:22:06.620
aftermath, kind of like what I was talking about earlier, those additional ripple effects of the

1237
01:22:06.620 --> 01:22:15.480
earthquake, so to speak the big event. And so my question for you, um, and not that, I mean,

1238
01:22:15.480 --> 01:22:20.800
like you need to do it right now, but do you have little kids that there would be a reason that you

1239
01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:29.160
couldn't move? No, they're, they're adults. Okay. Have you ever considered moving and starting

1240
01:22:29.160 --> 01:22:34.620
fresh somewhere? I have, but it's like, I've asked God, like, where do you want me?

1241
01:22:35.400 --> 01:22:44.600
Where do you want me to go? And I haven't gotten like any. Yeah. So what about Supernatural

1242
01:22:44.600 --> 01:22:50.980
Saturday? Did you hear it yet? If not, okay. Do you know how Jackie said we have choices?

1243
01:22:52.520 --> 01:22:58.580
So what if you just made a choice? What if you dreamed a little bit and you just decided like,

1244
01:22:58.820 --> 01:23:04.240
I've always thought about living in this place and I might go give it a try, you know,

1245
01:23:04.240 --> 01:23:08.460
and maybe it's not taking all your things with you right now. Maybe it's putting things in storage

1246
01:23:08.460 --> 01:23:13.560
and just going and on, or, you know, even before you get there, going on trips to a couple places.

1247
01:23:13.640 --> 01:23:17.480
This is one of the things that actually just came to my mind that Jackie has even said before,

1248
01:23:17.940 --> 01:23:21.800
before we even decide to move somewhere, sometimes we're waiting for God to tell us

1249
01:23:21.800 --> 01:23:28.720
exactly where to go, but maybe it's more about you going on some adventures that you've wanted

1250
01:23:28.720 --> 01:23:34.700
to go on and you go and test out an area, so to speak, you know, you go and decide,

1251
01:23:34.960 --> 01:23:41.440
do I even like it here? Is this somewhere I could see myself living? And, and maybe there's some

1252
01:23:41.440 --> 01:23:46.460
sisters in the community that you could stay with to keep your costs low. I mean, there's just,

1253
01:23:46.820 --> 01:23:54.440
there are options that I think sometimes we feel stuck because we are, we want, and it's not a bad

1254
01:23:54.440 --> 01:24:00.000
thing. We want God to tell us exactly where to go, when to go there, how much money we should

1255
01:24:00.000 --> 01:24:06.140
take with us on the journey, like all the things. And sometimes it's like Abraham, he's like,

1256
01:24:06.400 --> 01:24:13.380
you go on and go, and then I'll tell you as you go where you're going to go. But I do think,

1257
01:24:13.420 --> 01:24:17.720
I just get the sense that God wants you to have some options. I think he wants you to,

1258
01:24:18.460 --> 01:24:26.000
to feel the freedom of choosing and to know that you can make good choices and that God is teaching

1259
01:24:26.000 --> 01:24:30.860
you how to, like even setting those boundaries with your parents. I'm sure that was really hard,

1260
01:24:31.140 --> 01:24:37.860
but it sounds like that was what was healthy for you in this season. And so what is, what are,

1261
01:24:38.240 --> 01:24:42.440
what are some places you've always wanted to go visit? Or you've gone on a trip there and you were

1262
01:24:42.440 --> 01:24:46.600
wow, this place is amazing. Does anything come to mind for you?

1263
01:24:48.140 --> 01:24:55.700
You know, I tried Arizona last year and that, that door closed this year. It seemed like,

1264
01:24:55.800 --> 01:24:59.980
it seems like, you know, God's closed quite a few doors and it's like,

1265
01:25:01.020 --> 01:25:04.860
I, but maybe there's new ones he's wanting to open.

1266
01:25:05.020 --> 01:25:05.900
So, okay.

1267
01:25:06.020 --> 01:25:08.740
So Arizona, wasn't a good, that wasn't a good experience.

1268
01:25:08.760 --> 01:25:13.760
I remember you talked about that with a friend, so it could have even been years ago on a

1269
01:25:13.760 --> 01:25:16.000
trip that maybe, what was your husband's name?

1270
01:25:16.500 --> 01:25:16.980
Ryan.

1271
01:25:17.960 --> 01:25:17.960


1272
01:25:18.140 --> 01:25:18.580
Yeah.

1273
01:25:18.580 --> 01:25:21.420
It was a trip that you went on with him and you guys loved it.

1274
01:25:21.420 --> 01:25:22.380
You know, I don't know.

1275
01:25:22.380 --> 01:25:28.200
I'm just, I want you to think about something that you had a good experience with or somewhere

1276
01:25:28.200 --> 01:25:31.660
that you've not been, but you want to go try it.

1277
01:25:32.380 --> 01:25:33.100
I love water.

1278
01:25:33.280 --> 01:25:36.940
So it would be someplace where there'd be water.

1279
01:25:37.560 --> 01:25:37.880
Okay.

1280
01:25:38.500 --> 01:25:45.760
So this week I want you to start looking into some places and just letting yourself dream

1281
01:25:45.760 --> 01:25:46.540
a little bit.

1282
01:25:46.640 --> 01:25:51.600
It doesn't mean you have to hurry and go somewhere, but like, okay, so you love water.

1283
01:25:52.080 --> 01:25:55.000
What States have a lot of water and are warm?

1284
01:25:55.220 --> 01:25:57.120
Well I know one, Florida.

1285
01:25:58.000 --> 01:26:01.500
It's really warm down here right now when it's really cold other places.

1286
01:26:01.880 --> 01:26:02.560
So it's really great.

1287
01:26:03.080 --> 01:26:05.140
Minnesota is really cold right now.

1288
01:26:05.140 --> 01:26:05.340
Yeah.

1289
01:26:05.340 --> 01:26:05.760
Yeah.

1290
01:26:05.760 --> 01:26:07.580
I don't want to go there.

1291
01:26:08.040 --> 01:26:09.220
That's where I am.

1292
01:26:09.580 --> 01:26:13.500
Again, like, and I'm not trying to make light of the heaviness and the things that you're

1293
01:26:13.500 --> 01:26:21.640
going through, but genuinely ladies, sometimes it is simple things, but because we're, you

1294
01:26:21.640 --> 01:26:26.520
know, kind of like I said earlier with the room, I was getting stuck in overwhelm and

1295
01:26:26.520 --> 01:26:30.220
that was kind of paralyzing me a little bit.

1296
01:26:31.220 --> 01:26:34.160
And then it creates the anxiety and then the other things.

1297
01:26:35.140 --> 01:26:37.620
But if we just say, okay, what's one thing I can do?

1298
01:26:38.160 --> 01:26:44.280
One thing you can do is to look up places that maybe you just want to go on a little

1299
01:26:45.280 --> 01:26:51.260
trip, you know, before long before you plan to move, going on a trip, okay.

1300
01:26:51.260 --> 01:26:52.940
The Arizona thing didn't work, but okay.

1301
01:26:52.940 --> 01:26:59.100
Let's focus somewhere else where someone new or someone, you know, maybe I can tell you,

1302
01:26:59.240 --> 01:27:02.500
we have several people in our community that live in Florida.

1303
01:27:02.620 --> 01:27:05.020
So we have a lot of people down this way.

1304
01:27:05.300 --> 01:27:09.740
So planting that seed, not that you have to come to Florida by any means, but I'm just

1305
01:27:09.740 --> 01:27:17.340
saying like we do have people all throughout, you know, the lower region of the U S that

1306
01:27:17.340 --> 01:27:17.840
is warm.

1307
01:27:18.840 --> 01:27:22.800
And so that's my honest coaching for you tonight is to consider.

1308
01:27:23.100 --> 01:27:27.100
And again, I don't know if God's going to have you move, but you're saying you're in

1309
01:27:27.100 --> 01:27:31.140
a really small community and you're feeling rejected there.

1310
01:27:31.140 --> 01:27:33.800
You have a lot of hard memories there.

1311
01:27:34.800 --> 01:27:40.180
So maybe it's a time and a season for a new leaf to be turned over here.

1312
01:27:41.220 --> 01:27:43.860
And just to pray into that again, I'm not telling you should do it.

1313
01:27:43.860 --> 01:27:47.780
I'm just saying, pray into it, start dreaming a little bit about it.

1314
01:27:48.340 --> 01:27:50.900
And yeah, Chrissy's in Florida here too.

1315
01:27:52.600 --> 01:27:57.720
Pray about it and let yourself just start to think on some good things because it sounds

1316
01:27:57.720 --> 01:28:00.460
like you have a lot of things draining you right now.

1317
01:28:00.700 --> 01:28:05.000
And so let's see what we can start to have fill you up to kind of offset that a little

1318
01:28:05.000 --> 01:28:05.360
bit.

1319
01:28:06.180 --> 01:28:06.720
Okay.

1320
01:28:06.720 --> 01:28:07.560
Thanks so much.

1321
01:28:07.820 --> 01:28:08.360
You're welcome.

1322
01:28:08.900 --> 01:28:09.420
You're welcome.

1323
01:28:09.980 --> 01:28:14.800
And, and ladies, sometimes I, I just feel led to not push too much on the wounds because

1324
01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:17.660
I can tell she's got, she's really raw.

1325
01:28:17.900 --> 01:28:18.340
Okay.

1326
01:28:18.540 --> 01:28:26.020
And so she needs some time to recalibrate as she's already processing a lot of loss

1327
01:28:26.020 --> 01:28:27.100
and a lot of things.

1328
01:28:27.180 --> 01:28:33.100
And so her focusing, just like I started out tonight, when you all focus on the wins, it

1329
01:28:33.100 --> 01:28:34.780
can help you so much.

1330
01:28:34.900 --> 01:28:38.360
So in this regard, she needs to focus on some good things this week.

1331
01:28:38.360 --> 01:28:44.100
And that will help her start to feel like there is a way out.

1332
01:28:45.160 --> 01:28:46.060
There is a way out.

1333
01:28:46.660 --> 01:28:47.000
All right.

1334
01:28:47.520 --> 01:28:50.640
Thank you for sharing that, Kelly, Anita, go ahead.

1335
01:28:53.120 --> 01:28:53.500
Thank you.

1336
01:28:54.580 --> 01:29:04.300
I think right now I'm struggling with different versions of feeling unchosen, unseen, or just

1337
01:29:04.300 --> 01:29:05.280
passed up altogether.

1338
01:29:05.920 --> 01:29:10.920
I initially thought it was just in dating, which I was doing before the heartwork.

1339
01:29:11.820 --> 01:29:16.980
I found it around November and then I stopped dating after that.

1340
01:29:17.160 --> 01:29:21.220
And I was just being set up by friends because I didn't want to do online.

1341
01:29:21.400 --> 01:29:27.120
I don't have a social media presence either, which I initially thought it was because I

1342
01:29:27.240 --> 01:29:31.640
was beyond, I guess, the entire world, but it's really not.

1343
01:29:31.640 --> 01:29:39.380
I think it's rooted in shame or just different comparisons that I don't want to deal with.

1344
01:29:41.400 --> 01:29:45.260
And then I'm finding even with activations, I'm like, I don't want to post it.

1345
01:29:45.280 --> 01:29:46.160
What if no one comments?

1346
01:29:46.700 --> 01:29:48.180
What if no one sees it?

1347
01:29:49.180 --> 01:29:51.940
And it's just struggling with that still, I think.

1348
01:29:55.420 --> 01:29:57.260
So let me ask you a question.

1349
01:29:57.260 --> 01:29:59.860
On the past up altogether.

1350
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.120
When is the first time, and if you don't know tonight, it's okay, but when is the first

1351
01:30:05.120 --> 01:30:07.500
time you remember feeling that way?

1352
01:30:10.700 --> 01:30:13.460
I've thought about it during the heart work.

1353
01:30:14.740 --> 01:30:25.860
I think being a little girl, I was in a big, or I'm from a big family, so we struggled

1354
01:30:25.860 --> 01:30:29.900
a lot, and it was always just really hard.

1355
01:30:30.780 --> 01:30:31.940
Tell me what that's like.

1356
01:30:33.000 --> 01:30:33.800
What do you mean by that?

1357
01:30:39.240 --> 01:30:48.860
Just, you know, struggling to be seen, to feel important to my parents.

1358
01:30:50.880 --> 01:30:53.240
Tell me about your parents.

1359
01:30:53.500 --> 01:30:54.580
Did they work a lot?

1360
01:30:55.580 --> 01:31:05.300
They both worked outside the home, and then when they were home, did they struggle with

1361
01:31:05.300 --> 01:31:08.480
being emotionally present with you all?

1362
01:31:08.480 --> 01:31:09.000
Oh yeah.

1363
01:31:10.560 --> 01:31:14.520
So we'll say emotionally unavailable.

1364
01:31:15.440 --> 01:31:16.280
Okay.

1365
01:31:17.320 --> 01:31:20.720
Was there any kind of abuse or mistreatment as well?

1366
01:31:21.800 --> 01:31:21.800


1367
01:31:21.800 --> 01:31:22.220
Both?

1368
01:31:23.900 --> 01:31:23.900


1369
01:31:23.900 --> 01:31:25.120
From both parents as well?

1370
01:31:25.740 --> 01:31:26.160
No.

1371
01:31:28.700 --> 01:31:30.380
From siblings.

1372
01:31:31.000 --> 01:31:31.540
Okay.

1373
01:31:32.360 --> 01:31:37.940
So were you protected when, well, let me ask you this.

1374
01:31:37.940 --> 01:31:40.240
Did you tell your parents that that happened?

1375
01:31:40.940 --> 01:31:41.780
Okay.

1376
01:31:41.780 --> 01:31:45.040
And thank you for letting me ask you these questions.

1377
01:31:45.300 --> 01:31:50.160
If you ever feel like you're not ready to go to the next question, it's okay to say

1378
01:31:50.160 --> 01:31:50.400
that.

1379
01:31:50.640 --> 01:31:51.960
Just want you to know you have full permission.

1380
01:31:53.580 --> 01:31:57.500
When you told your parents, how was that handled?

1381
01:32:03.060 --> 01:32:05.100
I think I got in trouble.

1382
01:32:07.300 --> 01:32:09.060
So you got in trouble?

1383
01:32:09.060 --> 01:32:14.420
What did they say that made you think you were in trouble or say or do?

1384
01:32:15.520 --> 01:32:23.740
I think my dad, I don't remember verbatim what he said, but just like I'm going to ruin

1385
01:32:23.740 --> 01:32:31.380
the whole family and they're not going to, that I should stop being in certain rooms

1386
01:32:31.900 --> 01:32:34.360
and stop being around him.

1387
01:32:36.020 --> 01:32:39.240
And yeah, just blaming me.

1388
01:32:40.400 --> 01:32:41.260
That's pretty big.

1389
01:32:41.480 --> 01:32:42.320
I'm so sorry.

1390
01:32:43.240 --> 01:32:44.740
That wasn't your responsibility.

1391
01:32:45.160 --> 01:32:47.860
That was your parents' responsibility to keep you safe.

1392
01:32:48.540 --> 01:32:49.180
Yeah.

1393
01:32:49.360 --> 01:32:50.000
Yeah.

1394
01:32:50.980 --> 01:32:58.520
So because there was the comment about, you know, stop being in certain rooms, stop being

1395
01:32:58.520 --> 01:32:59.620
around him.

1396
01:32:59.620 --> 01:33:02.760
Well, what do you do when the whole family's together and he's there then?

1397
01:33:03.340 --> 01:33:05.340
You're going to fade into the background.

1398
01:33:05.840 --> 01:33:06.900
That's what's going to happen.

1399
01:33:07.700 --> 01:33:12.000
And so because of those statements, I believe that that's kind of probably what you started

1400
01:33:12.000 --> 01:33:15.200
partnering with because you didn't know what else to do.

1401
01:33:15.780 --> 01:33:21.520
And so feeling passed up altogether, I mean, you were passed up even in that situation

1402
01:33:21.520 --> 01:33:22.300
right there.

1403
01:33:23.640 --> 01:33:26.040
You know, your dad, you're in no judgment.

1404
01:33:26.300 --> 01:33:30.000
I want you to know I genuinely am not judging your dad or your mom.

1405
01:33:30.000 --> 01:33:33.240
I also like my mom did not.

1406
01:33:33.740 --> 01:33:38.320
My mom did not handle it well when I told it actually was really bad.

1407
01:33:38.340 --> 01:33:41.120
And it's unfortunately very common.

1408
01:33:42.560 --> 01:33:43.800
Parents don't know what to do.

1409
01:33:43.800 --> 01:33:47.780
It doesn't excuse it because they can seek help for it as well.

1410
01:33:48.680 --> 01:33:51.180
But I just want you to know I'm not judging them.

1411
01:33:52.100 --> 01:34:01.760
But instead of them taking care of you, they passed you over and it sounds like protected

1412
01:34:01.760 --> 01:34:02.120
him.

1413
01:34:02.380 --> 01:34:05.340
So is that how you felt in the situation?

1414
01:34:06.440 --> 01:34:12.120
Yeah, I think because he's the oldest, he's a he's a male, you know, and it kept going

1415
01:34:12.120 --> 01:34:13.500
on for years after that.

1416
01:34:13.860 --> 01:34:17.120
And so I just let it happen to OK.

1417
01:34:18.360 --> 01:34:23.440
And then he was still happening, you know, OK.

1418
01:34:24.920 --> 01:34:25.260
Yeah.

1419
01:34:26.320 --> 01:34:32.740
And when he got good, sorry, oh, no, I was going to say when he got I remember wanting

1420
01:34:32.740 --> 01:34:38.900
to run away in high school because he got married and had kids and I it was so twisted

1421
01:34:38.900 --> 01:34:44.300
in my head, you know, I was like, why wasn't I married to him, you know, and my parents

1422
01:34:44.300 --> 01:34:46.120
were like, see, you're always a problem.

1423
01:34:46.880 --> 01:34:49.900
You know, he moved on and he's happy and you're not.

1424
01:34:50.060 --> 01:34:52.880
You're depressed all the time and you're the weird one.

1425
01:34:54.340 --> 01:34:56.820
OK, yeah, none of that is true, Anita.

1426
01:34:57.980 --> 01:34:59.740
OK, none of that is true.

1427
01:35:00.720 --> 01:35:06.220
and that is just vile stuff from the pit of hell that the enemy was speaking through your parents

1428
01:35:06.220 --> 01:35:12.560
and i'm just declaring that over you tonight and i hope that you will start to hear the truth of

1429
01:35:12.560 --> 01:35:19.800
heaven over you more and more in the days to come um you know here's the reality that was a very

1430
01:35:19.860 --> 01:35:28.500
confusing situation for a young lady it doesn't matter you know how old you were um it sounds

1431
01:35:28.500 --> 01:35:32.680
like he was at some point at the age of accountability so he totally knew what he was

1432
01:35:32.680 --> 01:35:41.440
doing right yeah um okay so tell me about how are you navigating this now like are you still

1433
01:35:41.440 --> 01:35:48.880
are your parents still alive yeah okay yeah and do you still have big family get-togethers and

1434
01:35:49.000 --> 01:35:57.060
gatherings they do i actually um i've actually always been the one that leaves the house so i

1435
01:35:57.060 --> 01:36:06.280
i'm the only so being super impoverished 11 kids um i got i knew i had to get a full ride to go to

1436
01:36:06.280 --> 01:36:13.860
college so i did and i i left with trash bags and just never went back um and they're they're in

1437
01:36:13.860 --> 01:36:23.600
texas and i'm in virginia i'm the only one here you know what that took a lot of courage for you

1438
01:36:23.600 --> 01:36:31.880
to do all that and it sounds to me even though i'm sure it feels very hard um to have it like

1439
01:36:31.880 --> 01:36:37.900
having to have gone through everything that you did you are you are going to be a kinsman redeemer

1440
01:36:37.900 --> 01:36:42.300
in your family i have no doubt about it and that doesn't mean that they're going to automatically

1441
01:36:42.300 --> 01:36:49.440
stop being how they are but god is using you to change a generational family thing here and i

1442
01:36:49.620 --> 01:36:55.880
that he is led you out of there and he's separated you so that you can get healthy and you can get

1443
01:36:56.360 --> 01:37:03.660
strong and that you can start to build a healthy family around yourself and so it doesn't mean that

1444
01:37:03.660 --> 01:37:07.780
you won't ever go to back to visit or any of those things i'm just saying like i think it's a good

1445
01:37:07.780 --> 01:37:13.340
thing that you're kind of separate right now so that you can heal and and see what god wants to

1446
01:37:13.340 --> 01:37:21.000
do here so my my thing for you this week have you what week are you on in the heart work

1447
01:37:21.800 --> 01:37:30.960
i'm starting four okay perfect timing y'all that don't know week four is forgiveness

1448
01:37:32.240 --> 01:37:35.980
it's forgiveness week and obviously we do forgiveness all throughout the heart work

1449
01:37:36.460 --> 01:37:42.500
but even if you've already forgiven your brother and your parents both of your parents for this

1450
01:37:42.500 --> 01:37:48.900
before i want to encourage you to write fresh sheets for them okay and as you do i want you to

1451
01:37:48.900 --> 01:37:54.000
do a separate sheet for all three of them so mom will have her own sheet dad will have his own

1452
01:37:54.140 --> 01:38:00.860
sheet brother will have his own sheet each person um probably on some level has different aspects

1453
01:38:00.860 --> 01:38:06.000
so even your mom probably said different things than your dad or you know things that were harmful

1454
01:38:06.160 --> 01:38:11.860
and you want to write those things out okay so it might feel a little painful while you're doing it

1455
01:38:11.860 --> 01:38:17.640
but just know you're not gonna you don't have to stay there you're moving through um and so you're

1456
01:38:17.640 --> 01:38:24.700
forgiving like even how you said like how they said you were weird or whatever they said that

1457
01:38:24.700 --> 01:38:32.280
was harmful and mean instead of being supportive and protective um i want you to step into forgiving

1458
01:38:32.280 --> 01:38:38.880
them for that and then let's see where god leads you from there as you start to move forward through

1459
01:38:38.880 --> 01:38:46.420
this because the the truth is is you actually aren't passed over but we need you to heal a

1460
01:38:46.420 --> 01:38:54.280
little bit more from this situation and this whole dynamic so that you can start to believe that god

1461
01:38:54.280 --> 01:38:59.880
like he's never passed you over anita and i believe 100 that's why he led you out of there

1462
01:38:59.880 --> 01:39:08.000
how do you mind if i ask how how old you are i'm 35 ah you don't look at at all that's a good thing

1463
01:39:08.000 --> 01:39:13.980
you don't so how long have you been in virginia kind of away from them just like right into

1464
01:39:14.440 --> 01:39:24.760
college no i went to college in the same state as them okay um in 2018 and then um i got followed a

1465
01:39:24.760 --> 01:39:37.500
man here who you know what it ended up horrible um and we have a son together so i have to be in

1466
01:39:38.220 --> 01:39:46.740
so i have a three year three and a half year old um who i share with him okay since 2020 i've been

1467
01:39:46.740 --> 01:39:54.200
in virginia all right so you get to create this new family with your son the way that things can

1468
01:39:54.200 --> 01:39:59.940
be and so um as you're processing the forgiveness i want you to also

1469
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.760
thank God for your son. And that you, no matter what you go through that, you can respond

1470
01:40:07.760 --> 01:40:15.180
differently than your parents did. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let us know how that goes. Okay.

1471
01:40:15.180 --> 01:40:19.460
Come into the group and tell us how the forgiveness process goes. And if you have any questions,

1472
01:40:19.460 --> 01:40:23.560
if there's any other memories that kind of bubble to the surface as you're doing this,

1473
01:40:23.560 --> 01:40:28.980
let us know that too. Okay. So we can help you, um, if needed, unpack that a little bit

1474
01:40:28.800 --> 01:40:34.660
more. Um, y'all, this has been a really good night, Anita. Thank you for trusting us. Everyone

1475
01:40:34.660 --> 01:40:40.240
that shared your stories. Thank you. I never, ever take it lightly. Um, and it's really

1476
01:40:40.240 --> 01:40:45.060
important for y'all to know that we're praying for you. Um, I see that Catherine raised her

1477
01:40:45.060 --> 01:40:48.900
hand a little bit ago. I do need to close this down for tonight. Cause I actually do

1478
01:40:48.900 --> 01:40:54.200
have another, whether y'all I'm have another meeting after this. So I have to close this

1479
01:40:54.200 --> 01:40:59.020
up tonight. Um, but know that we're praying for you. We're, we're believing for more and

1480
01:40:59.020 --> 01:41:02.220
more breakthrough. I'm going to go ahead and pray and close this out. Father. Thank you

1481
01:41:02.440 --> 01:41:08.440
so much. God, thank you for being with us in the tough moments. God, even during a coaching

1482
01:41:08.480 --> 01:41:14.480
call God in our alone time, I thank you that you see every situation represented by every

1483
01:41:14.480 --> 01:41:19.480
woman here. Ones that were not spoken out ones that were God, I thank you that you,

1484
01:41:19.380 --> 01:41:24.800
um, you've never left us. You've never forsaken us. God, I thank you that your eyes are on

1485
01:41:24.620 --> 01:41:31.020
us. I thank you that you would turn your face towards us. God, and that the importance of

1486
01:41:31.880 --> 01:41:37.440
that would help us to understand that you are loving, that you are kind, that you are

1487
01:41:37.440 --> 01:41:42.800
not the way that other people have been towards us. We thank you God for restitution and all

1488
01:41:42.800 --> 01:41:49.720
of these situations. God, we ask you to help us to, uh, take ownership if or where we need

1489
01:41:49.720 --> 01:41:54.820
to God, we ask you to help us to forgive those who have harmed us and continue to harm us

1490
01:41:54.820 --> 01:41:59.720
for some of us. God, we thank you that you would just continue to help us to put on the

1491
01:41:59.720 --> 01:42:06.160
armor of God every day to stay hidden under your presence, Lord, and in under the shadow

1492
01:42:06.160 --> 01:42:11.620
of your wings, God, that we would trust that you are our defender, that you are ever present

1493
01:42:11.620 --> 01:42:19.140
help in time of trouble. God, we thank you for, yes, Lord, sending Jesus as our peace,

1494
01:42:19.600 --> 01:42:23.920
God, that he is the light of the world. So illuminate everything within us where there's

1495
01:42:23.920 --> 01:42:29.700
darkness bring light, where there's a depression, bring hope and joy and freedom. And Lord,

1496
01:42:29.700 --> 01:42:35.380
we just thank you for more and more of that in the days to come in Jesus name. Amen. God

1497
01:42:35.380 --> 01:42:40.040
bless you all. I hope you have a great night. Everyone will be seeing you in the group.

1498
01:42:40.040 --> 01:42:43.280
See you soon. Bye bye. Thank you.