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Hello, hello, I'm so excited to see all of you guys.

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I have a treat for you.

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I have several treats for you.

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But before we do any of that, let's go ahead and get the hi, how are you's out of the way.

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So good to see so many of you, so many OGs here tonight, people that I have come to know

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well and love.

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And if you're new, then you have the opportunity to become an OG as well.

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That's original gangster, for those of you that don't know what that means.

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You can become an original gangster.

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I saw the funniest thing.

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Let's start off with a little joke here.

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I saw the funniest meme, raise your hand if you're Gen X, if you're Gen X.

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So 45 to 60 years old, Gen X, let's see your hands, Gen X.

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We have a lot of millennials, we do have some baby boomers, that would be 60 and up.

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And then we have some Gen Xers.

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Gen Xer, Gen, okay.

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All right, go ahead and put your hands down.

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And then you guys know alpha generation is that younger generation.

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I think that alpha starts somewhere around, I actually don't know.

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I don't know how old they are, the ones, the alphas.

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But okay, so on the earth right now, we have alpha, sorry I have to set this joke up,

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but I want you to understand it.

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We have alpha, we have the Gen Zs, we have the millennials and Gen X,

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and then we still have the baby boomers, okay.

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And we might have a few of the greatest generations still alive.

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They'd be pretty old, but I know that there's one of my friends,

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grandma just turned 100 years old.

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So we definitely have some of those folks as well.

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But they're probably not on social media.

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They might be, but maybe not.

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So anyway, I saw this meme, and the meme was just really funny.

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And it just said, every generation gets raised by or has a blue dog to guide them.

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A blue dog, right?

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And then immediately it starts out with blues clues, and it was like,

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the millennials had blues clues.

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And then it's like, Gen Z has bluey, you know, this bluey dog.

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So then it goes, millennials had blues clues, and it shows a little thing,

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and then it goes to bluey, and it's like, Gen Z has bluey.

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And then it goes to this old Hanna-Barbera cartoon with this blue dog.

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And it's like, the baby boomers had, and it said this dog's name,

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and I have no idea who that dog is, way before my time.

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And then it said, and Gen X had, and then it showed Snoop Dogg

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with a blue T-shirt on, and he was singing, it was so funny.

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You got to be Gen X to love this joke, but as soon as I saw Snoop Dogg

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come on the screen, I was like, oh my gosh, this is hilarious.

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All right, so us Gen Xers had Snoop Dogg, Snoop Dogg, right?

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If you don't know, now you know.

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All right, all right, so a couple announcements.

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One of the surprises that we have tonight is we have our very own

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Renee Rizzo DeVore with us, newly married.

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And for those of you that don't know her, she is an OG student

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that became a coach, that became a success story,

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and now back to being a coach success story.

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And so we love her, for those of you that, all of you are in phase three.

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So you probably won't be seeing that much of Renee,

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because she's going to be going back into the trenches,

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back into phase two, where that love story accelerator lives,

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trying to help people to get off on the right foot,

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because you know that they need some help over there.

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But we are changing up the entire program for 2026.

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And so I really want you to get excited about the changes that are coming.

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There's going to be so much more coaching that happens here in the VIP community,

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because we want to get you moving forward.

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A lot of you are stagnating.

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You're not really making a lot of changes in your life.

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You need more support to make those changes.

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And so we have a whole list of things that we are going to get launched

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right off the bat in January of 2026,

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helping you to get unstuck wherever you're stuck, wherever you're stuck,

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not just in your love life, but wherever you're stuck.

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And so I kind of want to make this disclaimer right now.

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So just kidding, you will be seeing some of Renee,

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because you might just find our foot in your butt.

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Okay, we love you, but you might just find a foot in your butt.

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Because some of you need it.

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You need a kick in the pants.

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You need to start moving forward.

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You got kind of all sorts of things happening up here,

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but not a lot happening out here.

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And so we're going to take an assessment at the beginning of the year.

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All of you are going to take it to find out really what do you need?

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And not just what do you need, but what do you want?

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What do you want?

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2026 is your year.

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I'm going to tell you right now, it's your year.

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You can accomplish great things in 2026, and we're going to start out the year right.

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We're going to have my good friend, but renowned prophet, Bethany Hicks, join us at the beginning

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of the year for Times and Seasons.

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She just released a firebook called Times and Seasons.

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And I love Prophesy Your Year, and we do it every year, and we did it this year.

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We did it at Rosh Hashanah, so if you missed out on that, it was great.

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But it's more about not just learning how to hear God's voice, but also how to sort

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of read the signs of the year, of what's going on.

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But a lot of people read the signs, and they don't know what their part is to play in those

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signs.

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It's great if you did Prophesy Your Year, and God said, hey, in the month of May, you're

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going to see a red cardinal, and this is what it means.

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It means that I love you, and my eyes are on you.

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Well, that's all great, but how is that moving the needle in your life?

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I'm glad that God loves you.

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I'm glad you saw a red bird.

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By the way, they're everywhere.

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But the problem with that is, is that how is that going to get you from here to there?

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The sons of Issachar knew how to get from here to there, because they knew their times

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and seasons.

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You got to partner with the prophetic.

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Remember, I just did a Supernatural Saturday about this.

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You have to partner with the prophetic.

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You have to take action on the prophetic.

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That is how I've gotten to where I am in my life, because I don't just sit around.

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I take the prophetic as an activation and an invitation that God is telling me that

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I can have more and that I don't have to have less.

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I take imperfect action on that, and I want you to take imperfect action as well.

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We are going to start the year off right with Bethany Hicks on January 4th.

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You will see some registration links to sign up for that.

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That is going to be a times and seasons night, meaning that we are going to know what to

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do.

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First of all, we're going to know what season we're in.

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We're going to hear from God.

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What is 2026?

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What season are we in?

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And then we're going to know what to do and when to do it, and we're going to take action.

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And yeah, it may not work out from the very first moment that you take action, but you're

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going to continue to take action.

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And so once again, the disclaimer is 2026 is not going to be an idle year.

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I have a lot of friends that work in finance that work as economists, and they've been

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telling me that 2026 is going to be a really rough year, y'all, okay?

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But not for the children of the Lord.

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I believe that God wants to position us to be a light in 2026, and in order to do that,

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we've got to get in alignment with what he's doing corporately and also individually.

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And so we're going to do that.

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We're going to kick that off on January 4th, which is a Sunday.

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We still will be having prophetic night, the prophetic activation night that night for

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whoever doesn't come to the Bethany Hicks event, but we will be kicking off the year

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with that.

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It's going to be a lot like prophesy your year, but with a lot less what to do and when

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to do it and how to do it.

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We are going to do different things for every month of the year and different things like

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that, but it's going to be more about what's your times and seasons and what do you need

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to be doing in those different months to partner with God for your promise.

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And so it's going to be more like that.

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It's going to be very supernatural, a lot of prophetic activation.

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All right.

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So that's my first announcement.

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My second announcement is modern dating doesn't suck.

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Does it?

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Does it?

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I was going to put stinks, but that language isn't strong enough because it sucks.

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It really does.

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It sucks eggs.

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And a matchmaker's guide to finding love in a swipe left world.

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Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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Okay, so I have really been hoping and I'm going to, I'm about to activate you guys before

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I let Renee take over and love seat you guys and do some dating coaching because I have

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to run off because you know what I'm doing?

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I'm leaving early in the morning to go to Miami and officiate one of your weddings.

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That's right.

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I'm going to officiate one of your weddings tomorrow, Julia and Benjamin.

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I'm going down there to officiate that wedding.

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I don't do a lot of it, but I felt the Lord on it and I'll do what God tells me to do.

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And so I'm going, I'm going down there and I got to leave early.

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So Bethany, Renee is going to be, be my sidekick, be my trustee, ride or die tonight.

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And plus she's going to put a boot in your butt because that's what you need.

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And I can trust her to do that because you know I'm going to do it if I'm here and she's

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going to do it too.

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So it's going to be good.

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All right.

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So just full disclosure, I really, really, really want this one publisher to publish

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this book for me.

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And they said that they wanted to, and they were interested in talking to me about the

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book.

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Cause you know, you know, my other books, let me just get them all out.

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This book right here was published by Forefront and Simon & Schuster.

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It's a great book.

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It's really high quality publishing.

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Forefront, Simon & Schuster, great book, you know just so you know.

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And then La Labore, which is the Spanish version of heartwork, I self-published these using

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KDP.

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It's not bad quality.

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It's okay quality, but it's not my favorite quality of the stuff inside.

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The words are great that I wrote with Holy Spirit, but the quality of the book, you know,

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I don't, I don't love the quality of the book because you know, that's what you get when

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you self-publish with things like that.

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So I was really hoping that this was going to get an opportunity to be published with

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the publisher.

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And once again, y'all, you don't make any money when you do that.

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Okay.

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You can sell.

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I sold, I sell tens of thousands of copies of this.

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Do you know how much money I made?

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Like a hundred dollars.

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Okay.

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I'm telling you, you don't, but I love a quality book.

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I do love a quality book.

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And so I'm still holding out for that.

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I haven't shut the door on that, but I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to go ahead and

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publish 500 copies of this right now.

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500 copies of this.

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It's going to go on presale.

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You're going to get your hot little hands on a limited 500 copy edition.

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Okay.

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That's going to come out towards the end of January, but the presale is going to start

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right now.

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You guys are the first ones to hear about it before I release it to the public.

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It's up for you guys.

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Babe, what's the URL?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Post it in the chat.

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So David's going to post it.

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Right now, I just have my heart set on just 500 presale copies and you're going to get

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some bonuses with that as well.

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You're going to get some three bonuses with that and we're going to mail that book out

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to you.

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When you buy, 25 bucks, by the way, for the book, when you buy it, it's going to have

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another screen that's going to come up that is going to take you to another screen that's

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going to let you put your address in.

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So when we are ready, we will ship you the book.

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So give us four to six weeks for delivery, but 500 of you are going to get this book.

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And then I'm just making a little space for that publisher.

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And then if that publisher does not manifest because they told me they want to, they want

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to, they want to, and then it's hurry up and wait.

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I can't wait.

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This has got to get out.

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God said, get the book out, get the book out, come on, get the book out.

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So I can't wait on them any longer.

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And then I'll just, I'll really publish, I'll fully publish if that doesn't happen.

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So here I am to say this.

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How many of you heard me talk about a season of firsts?

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Okay.

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If you didn't, go back, not last Supernatural Saturday, but the Saturday before and listen

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to it.

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Season of firsts, my homeless brother got his first house.

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Something else has happened.

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You guys, I really want to release this over you so that you can manifest it.

237
00:12:43.280 --> 00:12:44.220
You guys, it's real.

238
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It is real.

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Who knows who Heidi Baker is?

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You guys know who she is?

241
00:12:52.060 --> 00:12:55.340
She is the missionary to Mozambique, Iris Global.

242
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She has, you know, so many people been raised from the dead and healed and they've, they've

243
00:13:01.100 --> 00:13:05.000
built schools over in Africa and all the different things.

244
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And she's incredible, incredible woman of God and very, very, very popular and very

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well known in the revival stream.

246
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Well, every time I've always wanted to be in a meeting where this woman was speaking

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because she's powerful and she's supernatural and she carries something that is just, you

248
00:13:21.960 --> 00:13:23.660
can't just get it from a gifting.

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You have to get it from experience in trusting the Lord.

250
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And it's just incredible.

251
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It's incredible.

252
00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:32.920
And my friends that have been in meetings where she's been speaking, they've been like,

253
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wow, it's just life changing.

254
00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:40.280
And I just wanted to be in a meeting with her and I never got to because every time

255
00:13:40.280 --> 00:13:45.480
I was somewhere where she was supposed to be, for whatever reason, she didn't make it.

256
00:13:46.600 --> 00:13:47.540
Her flight got delayed.

257
00:13:47.820 --> 00:13:48.500
She got sick.

258
00:13:48.820 --> 00:13:54.500
Something happened and she never came to where I was, where I was going to see her.

259
00:13:55.600 --> 00:14:01.000
So my friend had a Christmas party in Newport Beach that I was invited to and they're old

260
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business partners of ours and friends of ours.

261
00:14:03.280 --> 00:14:08.240
And we went to this just last weekend, David and I, down in the OC in Orange County.

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00:14:08.240 --> 00:14:12.960
And my friend said, oh, by the way, Heidi and Roland Baker are coming to this party.

263
00:14:13.880 --> 00:14:15.300
I was like, what?

264
00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:17.300
Oh yeah, they're friends of ours.

265
00:14:17.660 --> 00:14:20.720
When they're in America, they live right down the street, Newport Beach.

266
00:14:20.760 --> 00:14:21.980
I'm like, wait, what?

267
00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:23.440
What?

268
00:14:24.280 --> 00:14:24.760
What?

269
00:14:24.760 --> 00:14:26.220
Are you kidding me right now?

270
00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:31.460
And you guys, not only did they come, but she spoke to just our small little like group

271
00:14:31.460 --> 00:14:33.360
of 15, 20 people in the living room.

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00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:39.880
She spoke intimately to us for an hour, told stories, supernatural, amazing things.

273
00:14:40.400 --> 00:14:45.180
And then, and then, you know, the host, you know, the host of the party was like, hey,

274
00:14:45.180 --> 00:14:48.400
let's pray for Heidi and Roland and put your hands towards them.

275
00:14:48.560 --> 00:14:49.540
I did better than that.

276
00:14:49.820 --> 00:14:53.560
I fell on the ground because I'm sitting right in front of her and I put my hands on her

277
00:14:53.560 --> 00:14:55.800
feet and put my head there and I'm praying.

278
00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:58.140
I like, I have her by her ankles, y'all.

279
00:14:58.220 --> 00:14:59.180
I'm not letting her go.

280
00:14:59.380 --> 00:14:59.840
All right.

281
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:07.120
So, I'm praying for her, I'm praying for her, and then she reaches down and she puts her

282
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:09.580
hands on my head and now she's praying for me.

283
00:15:09.700 --> 00:15:14.340
And then her husband, who hasn't spoken the entire time, it's just her telling stories,

284
00:15:14.660 --> 00:15:18.480
he's, you know, they're both older and I think he's a little older than her, I'd say he's

285
00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:20.240
probably in his later 70s.

286
00:15:20.340 --> 00:15:22.820
He goes, well, I do have something to say.

287
00:15:22.900 --> 00:15:26.600
He gets up and he goes, well, I do have something to say, and then he just starts praying for

288
00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:26.840
everyone.

289
00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:28.340
And I'm like, huh?

290
00:15:28.340 --> 00:15:33.080
And then, and just, you guys, like I said, the beauty of the presence of God that these

291
00:15:33.080 --> 00:15:36.020
people carry because of their relationship with him.

292
00:15:36.220 --> 00:15:42.160
You guys, these people have ministered in Africa through genocides, through rebels taking

293
00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:48.940
over the area, through ISIS, through stonings, through churches being burnt to the ground,

294
00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:51.100
through all kinds of stuff.

295
00:15:51.100 --> 00:15:55.460
They've just been through all kinds of stuff, you know, with the trust of the Lord.

296
00:15:55.460 --> 00:15:57.860
And so, so rich was that environment.

297
00:15:57.960 --> 00:16:00.140
I just goosebumps right now just thinking about it.

298
00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:06.200
And she prayed for me and then, and then, you know, everyone was just kind of laid out

299
00:16:06.200 --> 00:16:11.880
just in the presence of the Lord, just praying and just really enjoying some just beautiful

300
00:16:11.960 --> 00:16:12.440
joy.

301
00:16:12.580 --> 00:16:14.500
They just released the joy of the Lord on us.

302
00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:19.500
And I got up to go to the bathroom and I saw that they were leaving and she's like, and

303
00:16:19.500 --> 00:16:22.200
then she gives me a big hug before she left.

304
00:16:22.280 --> 00:16:23.960
And why am I saying that?

305
00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.660
Because this is what the Lord said to me, and I'm going to release this over and you

306
00:16:26.660 --> 00:16:27.180
better listen.

307
00:16:27.520 --> 00:16:29.200
You better hear it.

308
00:16:29.280 --> 00:16:30.740
You better hear it and receive it.

309
00:16:31.460 --> 00:16:34.240
God said, you've been wanting this for a long time.

310
00:16:34.320 --> 00:16:35.740
He said, but it's never happened.

311
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:40.500
He said, but in this season of firsts, he said a lot of things that people have been

312
00:16:40.500 --> 00:16:44.600
wanting for a long time and they got so close, but then it never happened.

313
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:48.960
He said, not only is it going to happen, but it's going to be so much better than you ever

314
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:49.840
thought it could be.

315
00:16:50.980 --> 00:16:53.380
So much better than you ever thought it could be.

316
00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:57.860
Those times that I was supposed to see them before, they would have been on a stage.

317
00:16:58.020 --> 00:16:59.800
They would have been on a platform at a church.

318
00:17:00.400 --> 00:17:06.680
The chances of them even praying for me, you know, would have probably been slim to none.

319
00:17:08.740 --> 00:17:13.859
But in this scenario, not only am I with them, but I'm with them.

320
00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:15.359
They're sitting right in front of me.

321
00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:17.839
I'm touching her teeny tiny little feet.

322
00:17:18.420 --> 00:17:18.900
Okay.

323
00:17:18.900 --> 00:17:24.460
And she's praying for me and she's hugging me and they're speaking words over us of encouragement

324
00:17:24.460 --> 00:17:27.200
and the joy of the Lord and the presence of God.

325
00:17:27.760 --> 00:17:32.740
It was so much better than it ever could have been had it would have happened before.

326
00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:38.900
Renee sent me a text message today.

327
00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:42.680
She'll probably say something about this, but her Christmas cards have come in the mail

328
00:17:42.680 --> 00:17:44.180
and she's ready to mail them out.

329
00:17:44.780 --> 00:17:45.680
And guess what?

330
00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:49.900
This is her first Christmas card married and it's full of pictures of them and their wedding

331
00:17:49.900 --> 00:17:50.720
and all the things.

332
00:17:51.280 --> 00:17:55.020
I'm assuming she sends out Christmas cards in the past, maybe her and Faith, which is

333
00:17:55.080 --> 00:17:56.580
her very funny dog.

334
00:17:58.340 --> 00:18:01.060
But the bottom line is, is that it's a first.

335
00:18:01.740 --> 00:18:03.820
As soon as I saw it, I'm like, wow, this is a first.

336
00:18:05.180 --> 00:18:07.180
This is an amazing first for her.

337
00:18:07.300 --> 00:18:09.000
It's a supernatural first for her.

338
00:18:09.760 --> 00:18:10.720
And guess what?

339
00:18:11.380 --> 00:18:12.540
I, I've been with Renee.

340
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:13.480
I've been her coach.

341
00:18:13.540 --> 00:18:14.420
She's in this program.

342
00:18:14.420 --> 00:18:17.100
She's the success story of this supernatural program.

343
00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:20.300
And she dated a few frogs before she met Brian.

344
00:18:21.900 --> 00:18:26.620
She straight up in this program dated a few frogs that did not turn into princes.

345
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:33.380
And when I think that, you know, those, those near misses those, you know, those times when

346
00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:38.560
we thought something was maybe going to be what we've been waiting for, this thing we've

347
00:18:38.560 --> 00:18:40.580
been wanting, and then it doesn't turn out.

348
00:18:40.580 --> 00:18:45.480
But I was at their wedding and, whoa, is it worth the wait?

349
00:18:46.100 --> 00:18:48.040
And whoa, is it even better than expected?

350
00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:51.020
And this season of first is going to be just like that.

351
00:18:51.040 --> 00:18:51.760
Do you believe it?

352
00:18:51.860 --> 00:18:52.960
Can you receive it?

353
00:18:53.260 --> 00:18:55.280
You guys, I'm not done.

354
00:18:56.820 --> 00:19:01.560
I've needed some, I've needed and wanted, okay, I haven't maybe needed, but I've more

355
00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:03.540
wanted some dental work.

356
00:19:03.760 --> 00:19:05.360
It's not covered by insurance.

357
00:19:05.460 --> 00:19:07.520
It's considered cosmetic in its nature.

358
00:19:07.520 --> 00:19:10.560
But I've wanted it for probably about 20 years.

359
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:11.720
I've really just wanted it.

360
00:19:11.720 --> 00:19:15.560
You ever have something about yourself that you just really see it and you just really

361
00:19:15.560 --> 00:19:16.260
want it fixed.

362
00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:18.340
And it doesn't matter if other people think it's vain.

363
00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:23.360
It doesn't matter if other people agree with you or not, because people will talk you out

364
00:19:23.360 --> 00:19:24.140
of what you want.

365
00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:28.500
They will tell you that you should settle and just be happy to be alive.

366
00:19:30.060 --> 00:19:34.980
And they will tell you that you're being ridiculous because you want something over and above

367
00:19:34.980 --> 00:19:36.680
the basics of life.

368
00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:45.380
But this desire has continued for 20 plus years, actually all the way to childhood.

369
00:19:45.660 --> 00:19:48.000
But I was able to get some of the things done.

370
00:19:48.360 --> 00:19:51.860
Like I got Invisalign a few years ago and it was pretty good.

371
00:19:52.420 --> 00:19:57.160
And it fixed part of this thing that bothers me so much that I'm not going to tell you

372
00:19:57.160 --> 00:19:59.920
about because none of your business and that's okay.

373
00:20:01.620 --> 00:20:08.300
But I can tell you that I could live without it and have a good life, but this is how sweet

374
00:20:08.300 --> 00:20:09.780
God is in this season of first.

375
00:20:09.900 --> 00:20:11.880
I just want to really release this over you.

376
00:20:12.440 --> 00:20:19.280
I have long, so I have considered, I have considered all kinds of, of different things,

377
00:20:19.940 --> 00:20:25.700
different people in order to do this thing that I want to do, that I've always wanted

378
00:20:25.700 --> 00:20:26.300
to do.

379
00:20:26.740 --> 00:20:30.500
And every time it just didn't really sit right and feel right in my heart.

380
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.820
I was just like, no, it's just not, it's not the right scenario.

381
00:20:33.860 --> 00:20:34.660
It's not the right thing.

382
00:20:34.700 --> 00:20:35.800
I'm just not going to do it.

383
00:20:36.900 --> 00:20:44.280
But there is this dentist that does exactly what I want and you know, in more of course,

384
00:20:44.500 --> 00:20:50.280
but he posts about, you know, people like me and on social media and I have watched

385
00:20:50.280 --> 00:20:57.800
and looked and seen for years, kind of just followed this, this guy for years.

386
00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:03.680
And when I tell you that I literally have just like, kind of just put that in the Lord's

387
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:07.420
hands, like, okay, it is frivolous and it's not that big of a deal and I just release

388
00:21:07.420 --> 00:21:08.080
it to you, God.

389
00:21:08.120 --> 00:21:10.140
And I'm not going to really worry about it anymore.

390
00:21:10.260 --> 00:21:13.240
It's not that I don't want it, but I don't need it.

391
00:21:13.380 --> 00:21:15.260
And I'm just going to move on with my life.

392
00:21:16.180 --> 00:21:16.620
Okay.

393
00:21:16.620 --> 00:21:25.640
In this season of first friends, I have the Heidi Baker first, I get home and I just feel,

394
00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:30.740
I feel an inkling in my heart that I should send an information, I could fill out a form

395
00:21:30.740 --> 00:21:34.940
on their website just for more information, right?

396
00:21:35.720 --> 00:21:40.160
You guys, this doctor, not necessarily for all of these things, but this doctor, this

397
00:21:40.760 --> 00:21:45.860
dentist is booked a year in advance, a year in advance because so many people want his

398
00:21:45.860 --> 00:21:47.300
expertise for different things.

399
00:21:48.520 --> 00:21:48.880
Okay.

400
00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:55.260
I get a call yesterday from their office, from the information form that I put in.

401
00:21:55.740 --> 00:21:59.720
And just like, it's like a discovery call, like, Hey, you know what, what services are

402
00:21:59.720 --> 00:22:00.260
you looking for?

403
00:22:00.320 --> 00:22:00.920
What do you want?

404
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:05.040
And I'm talking to like the office manager lady and I tell her what I want.

405
00:22:05.040 --> 00:22:10.140
And she goes, she goes, well, you know, the, the doctor, you could see a different dentist.

406
00:22:10.140 --> 00:22:13.800
And I was like, no, I really, if I ever, if I ever did anything, I would just want to

407
00:22:13.800 --> 00:22:14.500
be with this dentist.

408
00:22:14.500 --> 00:22:21.080
And she goes, well, the thing that you want, she said, you know, we have a cancellation

409
00:22:21.080 --> 00:22:22.000
for that.

410
00:22:24.140 --> 00:22:28.720
She's like, this girl made her appointment a year ago, but she got pregnant and we don't

411
00:22:28.720 --> 00:22:32.580
do any dental work on anyone in their first trimester of pregnancy.

412
00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:36.560
She said, so we happen to have a cancellation in January.

413
00:22:39.260 --> 00:22:40.900
And I said, what day?

414
00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:44.360
And she said, January 16th.

415
00:22:44.520 --> 00:22:45.660
Do you guys know what that is?

416
00:22:46.040 --> 00:22:46.780
That's my birthday.

417
00:22:47.780 --> 00:22:48.660
That's my birthday.

418
00:22:50.740 --> 00:22:52.400
That's my birthday.

419
00:22:55.220 --> 00:22:58.720
And you guys know I turned 50 last year and my birthday was kind of a bust.

420
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:02.900
So for those of you that were waiting for something to happen, you thought your change

421
00:23:02.900 --> 00:23:05.540
was going to come at 30 or 40 or 50 or 60.

422
00:23:05.620 --> 00:23:07.260
You thought that was going to be a magical number.

423
00:23:07.340 --> 00:23:08.540
This is what God said to me today.

424
00:23:08.660 --> 00:23:09.600
He said, Oh yeah.

425
00:23:09.600 --> 00:23:13.440
He said, I could have done this last year on your 50th birthday, but I want people to

426
00:23:13.440 --> 00:23:16.580
see that I can do anything I want anytime I want.

427
00:23:20.100 --> 00:23:21.980
Stop romanticizing a specific number.

428
00:23:23.260 --> 00:23:28.120
This is the time we are in the season of firsts.

429
00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:31.860
And so I booked the appointment and I'm going to do it.

430
00:23:33.020 --> 00:23:34.020
It's my birthday.

431
00:23:35.180 --> 00:23:36.100
It's my birthday.

432
00:23:36.240 --> 00:23:37.640
There's no way that that's a coincidence.

433
00:23:39.020 --> 00:23:40.760
There's absolutely no way.

434
00:23:42.020 --> 00:23:44.780
So very excited about that.

435
00:23:44.800 --> 00:23:49.220
And I want to release that over you guys because I literally have been thinking about that

436
00:23:49.220 --> 00:23:50.020
for 20 years.

437
00:23:51.140 --> 00:23:54.660
It's not an accident that all this stuff is coming together in one season.

438
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:55.920
My brother got a house.

439
00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:01.780
I got to see a hero of the faith that I've been wanting to see for a long time.

440
00:24:01.800 --> 00:24:05.960
I got to have intimate, intimate time with them.

441
00:24:07.400 --> 00:24:10.040
I'm going to get this dental thing fixed.

442
00:24:10.980 --> 00:24:12.040
Come on, you guys.

443
00:24:14.040 --> 00:24:15.040
What do you want?

444
00:24:19.280 --> 00:24:21.180
I'm going to do Supernatural Saturday on this.

445
00:24:21.260 --> 00:24:25.580
So it's going to be a lot longer than this, but what do you want?

446
00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:30.460
What do you need to try again?

447
00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:32.640
Because we're in a season of firsts.

448
00:24:33.840 --> 00:24:34.980
It's important stuff.

449
00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:35.580
All right.

450
00:24:35.580 --> 00:24:36.800
I love you guys so much.

451
00:24:36.940 --> 00:24:38.580
I'm going to let Renee take it from here.

452
00:24:38.940 --> 00:24:44.740
Father God has released over your sons and daughters the radical faith and hope that

453
00:24:44.740 --> 00:24:47.040
this is a season that's different.

454
00:24:47.420 --> 00:24:48.540
This time is different.

455
00:24:48.700 --> 00:24:49.700
It's not the same.

456
00:24:49.840 --> 00:24:50.860
It's not hype, Lord.

457
00:24:51.060 --> 00:24:53.400
You are manifesting your promises.

458
00:24:54.080 --> 00:24:55.160
You are doing it.

459
00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:56.180
It is happening.

460
00:24:56.300 --> 00:24:57.400
It's not our imagination.

461
00:24:57.620 --> 00:24:58.460
It's not coincidence.

462
00:24:58.880 --> 00:24:59.980
It is happening.

463
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:00.260
happening.

464
00:25:00.860 --> 00:25:02.260
And so, Lord, we thank you for it.

465
00:25:02.340 --> 00:25:04.940
We thank you for it, and we will not be left behind.

466
00:25:05.660 --> 00:25:07.100
We will not be on the sidelines.

467
00:25:07.740 --> 00:25:12.720
We will be right in the midst, in the middle of your blessings, in your manifestation,

468
00:25:13.080 --> 00:25:16.740
in this season of firsts, in this time where the siege is over.

469
00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:17.760
It's now.

470
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:20.440
It's not never, and it's not later.

471
00:25:20.660 --> 00:25:22.700
It's now, now, now, now.

472
00:25:22.820 --> 00:25:26.960
And I release over them the ministry of now, in Jesus' name, amen.

473
00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:28.220
I love y'all.

474
00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:29.000
Amen.

475
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:29.220
Amen.

476
00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:31.080
Oh my gosh, that's a good word for you guys.

477
00:25:31.700 --> 00:25:38.620
One of the things I said to Jackie when I texted her the Christmas card was, you know,

478
00:25:38.620 --> 00:25:42.360
I just said, thank you for holding space for hope with me.

479
00:25:42.380 --> 00:25:49.000
You know, because I can 100% tell you that I would have not still been online in January

480
00:25:49.000 --> 00:25:53.640
when I was matched up with Brian if it weren't for this program.

481
00:25:53.660 --> 00:25:57.880
Because somewhere weariness would have won, right?

482
00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:01.840
And I would have been like, oh, and I would have been, because I mean, I had been online.

483
00:26:02.120 --> 00:26:03.800
God, y'all, I'm so old.

484
00:26:03.820 --> 00:26:07.600
I've been online since before anybody else was online, like literally 30 years.

485
00:26:07.600 --> 00:26:12.680
Like when eHarmony first came out and you didn't see each other's photos for like 25

486
00:26:12.680 --> 00:26:18.640
weeks, and you learned all this stuff about them, and it was mostly Christians on it before

487
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:19.720
the swiping era.

488
00:26:20.760 --> 00:26:26.600
And so don't like pass by these, especially when you're listening to them in playback.

489
00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:33.420
Don't pass by this word of hope that she always infuses in you, because it is really the thing

490
00:26:33.500 --> 00:26:35.300
that will buoy you.

491
00:26:35.760 --> 00:26:39.500
Otherwise, you can grow weary in doing good, right?

492
00:26:39.500 --> 00:26:41.100
We can all grow weary in doing good.

493
00:26:41.900 --> 00:26:43.600
And so look, I'm going to show it to you, y'all.

494
00:26:43.660 --> 00:26:44.020
Look at this.

495
00:26:44.020 --> 00:26:45.340
This is the Christmas card.

496
00:26:45.520 --> 00:26:46.500
Look at how cute that is.

497
00:26:46.780 --> 00:26:47.940
Okay, so that's me and Brian.

498
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:49.220
Look at, there's the dog.

499
00:26:49.380 --> 00:26:54.380
This is like, so Faye's been relegated to barely a photo, and then that's Brian's children

500
00:26:54.380 --> 00:26:54.920
and grandchildren.

501
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:57.320
Here's what you guys, which she didn't even know.

502
00:26:57.700 --> 00:27:00.560
I've actually never sent out a Christmas card in my life.

503
00:27:00.620 --> 00:27:05.000
I always wanted to do, like in my head, I always wanted to do cute photos of me and

504
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:06.440
the dog, because my dog is really cute.

505
00:27:06.520 --> 00:27:09.540
And before Faye, it was Max, and before Max, it was Eli.

506
00:27:09.660 --> 00:27:14.280
So I've had really cute dogs, and we would have done really cute, but I just, I couldn't

507
00:27:14.280 --> 00:27:14.980
do it, you guys.

508
00:27:15.040 --> 00:27:15.720
I couldn't do it.

509
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:19.460
And I have on my door everybody else's Christmas card.

510
00:27:19.460 --> 00:27:25.980
And like when it came in the mail, I was like, and the first thing I did, the first person

511
00:27:25.980 --> 00:27:29.940
I texted was Jackie, and I was like, thank you for having enough hope and faith.

512
00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:34.480
And she's been dead on in her Instagram, if you don't follow her on Instagram, she's been

513
00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:39.880
hitting it hard, how as a Christian community, we celebrate whenever somebody asks for prayer

514
00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:45.740
to get a job, to get cured of cancer, to have a baby, but God forbid, we actually ask for

515
00:27:45.740 --> 00:27:48.960
prayer for a mate, or promote that we need a mate.

516
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:55.160
It's okay to network our resumes to get a job, but it's not okay to network ourselves

517
00:27:55.220 --> 00:27:56.880
to find a good date.

518
00:27:56.920 --> 00:28:02.080
And so I really, you know, and I, when I was running my nonprofit, you know, I probably

519
00:28:02.080 --> 00:28:05.160
worked with over 120 churches in Nashville.

520
00:28:05.760 --> 00:28:09.700
And I promise you, churches don't know how to handle singles over the age of 30.

521
00:28:09.760 --> 00:28:14.060
Like once young adult ministry taps out, they just don't know what to do with us until we're

522
00:28:14.060 --> 00:28:14.460
55.

523
00:28:14.900 --> 00:28:20.500
And they dump us with all like the wheelchair walkers, not that there's anything wrong with

524
00:28:20.500 --> 00:28:20.760
that.

525
00:28:20.760 --> 00:28:23.520
And they're just like, all right, we're just going to put you out to pasture over here.

526
00:28:23.760 --> 00:28:30.040
And so this is where I think every single person in the country needs to be while they

527
00:28:30.040 --> 00:28:32.800
are riding out their single days until they get married.

528
00:28:32.800 --> 00:28:38.280
And we're about to launch our married program as well, because we want to do that well too.

529
00:28:38.540 --> 00:28:41.520
And it's sad to say that the church just doesn't know what to do with us.

530
00:28:41.520 --> 00:28:43.800
And so really cling on to that stuff.

531
00:28:43.860 --> 00:28:48.420
If you're ever feeling low and your hope tank is really low, pull up a supernatural Saturday,

532
00:28:48.620 --> 00:28:50.240
listen, listen to these open things.

533
00:28:50.380 --> 00:28:52.440
That will be the thing that buoys you.

534
00:28:52.500 --> 00:28:56.480
I'm 57 years old, married for the first time doing my very first Christmas card.

535
00:28:56.900 --> 00:28:59.600
And so I can tell you it's that kind of hope.

536
00:28:59.800 --> 00:29:02.480
I borrowed her hope when my hope was too empty.

537
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:07.380
So I just want to say that to you to encourage you and you guys, I'm nobody special.

538
00:29:07.820 --> 00:29:10.840
So if God did it for me, he can do it for you.

539
00:29:10.840 --> 00:29:12.740
Like y'all are in this too.

540
00:29:12.960 --> 00:29:17.680
So like I'm not thinner, prettier, healthier, whatever, more deserving.

541
00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:20.220
Y'all are just as deserving as me.

542
00:29:20.380 --> 00:29:20.720
Okay.

543
00:29:21.180 --> 00:29:25.020
There were a few people that wanted to go into the love seat tonight.

544
00:29:25.160 --> 00:29:27.100
Jed Britt, are you here tonight?

545
00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:28.540
Jed, are you here?

546
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:30.420
Jed Britt, are you here?

547
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:33.240
Okay.

548
00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:35.680
I'm going to spotlight you.

549
00:29:37.100 --> 00:29:39.260
Let me try to find you.

550
00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:40.000
Okay.

551
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:45.820
I'm going to lower some hands.

552
00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:47.120
Let's see.

553
00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:47.880


554
00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:49.560
Is it Jed Casey, Maryland?

555
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:51.020
Is that you?

556
00:29:51.300 --> 00:29:52.260
Jed Casey.

557
00:29:52.460 --> 00:29:53.000
Casey Moe.

558
00:29:53.060 --> 00:29:53.240
Yeah.

559
00:29:53.420 --> 00:29:53.700
Casey Moe.

560
00:29:53.820 --> 00:29:54.020
Okay.

561
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:57.320
I am going to pin you.

562
00:29:57.360 --> 00:29:57.820
Okay.

563
00:29:57.820 --> 00:29:58.540
Let's see.

564
00:29:58.900 --> 00:29:59.980
Can everybody see me?

565
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.740
Hey, Jed, did I do that correctly?

566
00:30:04.100 --> 00:30:05.340
Hopefully, folks can see you.

567
00:30:05.340 --> 00:30:07.300
But I can see you, so that's the most important thing.

568
00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:09.960
So I'm going to try to summarize for everybody,

569
00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:11.920
because not everybody saw your post.

570
00:30:12.620 --> 00:30:15.020
She is currently in a level three

571
00:30:15.060 --> 00:30:17.160
exclusive and intentional dating relationship.

572
00:30:17.320 --> 00:30:19.000
They've been together for about two months.

573
00:30:19.160 --> 00:30:21.180
They have met in the wild, what we

574
00:30:21.180 --> 00:30:23.900
call not on a dating app, which I think is super funny.

575
00:30:24.340 --> 00:30:26.780
And he has a lot of physical features

576
00:30:27.380 --> 00:30:29.660
that are similar to your ex.

577
00:30:29.660 --> 00:30:31.480
And you probably thought, no way in heck

578
00:30:31.480 --> 00:30:34.800
I'm going to date a man that even remotely reminds me

579
00:30:34.800 --> 00:30:35.440
of my ex.

580
00:30:35.460 --> 00:30:36.440
So here we are.

581
00:30:36.880 --> 00:30:39.180
But part of your conversation is a little bit

582
00:30:39.180 --> 00:30:40.880
about how he walks out his faith,

583
00:30:40.940 --> 00:30:42.100
how you walk out your faith.

584
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:44.540
What would that look like in alignment together?

585
00:30:44.680 --> 00:30:46.540
So that's the skinny, but I'm going

586
00:30:46.540 --> 00:30:50.560
to let you kind of summarize where you're at

587
00:30:50.560 --> 00:30:52.740
and specifically how we can help you.

588
00:30:53.520 --> 00:30:55.660
Well, I'm happy it's you, because I

589
00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:59.800
feel like you had some weirdness along these lines.

590
00:31:00.040 --> 00:31:01.580
And I don't know.

591
00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:03.080
I don't have time to go and read through,

592
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:05.060
to watch all of the things that I tried to.

593
00:31:05.260 --> 00:31:10.780
But anyway, yeah, the stuff that he reminds of my ex-husband,

594
00:31:10.860 --> 00:31:12.340
that's kind of already been dealt with.

595
00:31:14.080 --> 00:31:15.540
But I mean, he's a believer.

596
00:31:15.660 --> 00:31:16.220
He loves the Lord.

597
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:19.660
It's just he doesn't have this kingdom mindset, kingdom

598
00:31:19.880 --> 00:31:20.320
perspective.

599
00:31:22.500 --> 00:31:23.780
And I get it.

600
00:31:24.860 --> 00:31:26.580
I'm in business for myself.

601
00:31:26.800 --> 00:31:27.720
I am prophetic.

602
00:31:27.840 --> 00:31:29.280
I'm all these things.

603
00:31:29.740 --> 00:31:33.300
And so it's not like I'm better than, but it's just different.

604
00:31:33.760 --> 00:31:38.560
And then how it's the only thing, the only thing.

605
00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:41.360
And so other than just more time.

606
00:31:42.100 --> 00:31:43.280
But I don't know.

607
00:31:43.480 --> 00:31:45.820
I just don't know why I'm having a hard time with this.

608
00:31:45.900 --> 00:31:48.040
I think part of it, too, is before I was kind

609
00:31:48.040 --> 00:31:52.240
of working through, what is a biblical spiritual leader?

610
00:31:52.380 --> 00:31:53.800
You're going to hear the husband is the head of the house,

611
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:54.420
blah, blah, blah.

612
00:31:55.140 --> 00:31:56.800
I mean, I'm responsible for my own self.

613
00:31:57.460 --> 00:31:58.520
But what does that look like?

614
00:31:58.520 --> 00:32:01.080
And so I was kind of in the process of just exploring.

615
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:02.760
I feel like there's something off there.

616
00:32:02.860 --> 00:32:03.980
I feel like maybe I don't fully.

617
00:32:05.480 --> 00:32:06.720
Something, I think, is off there.

618
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:07.600
And I can't tell you what it is.

619
00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:09.400
And so I was kind of in process internally with this.

620
00:32:09.660 --> 00:32:12.400
It wasn't a full on figure it out thing.

621
00:32:12.400 --> 00:32:13.360
But that's where I was.

622
00:32:13.480 --> 00:32:14.660
And then I meet him.

623
00:32:14.660 --> 00:32:19.440
And something about it keeps on saying, it's OK.

624
00:32:19.880 --> 00:32:23.960
And every single time, I feel like, calm your tits.

625
00:32:24.340 --> 00:32:25.340
Just chill out.

626
00:32:26.780 --> 00:32:29.420
And I'm like, I wonder about this.

627
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:30.440
Or this thing will happen.

628
00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:34.160
And then within 24 hours, 48 hours, he's bringing it.

629
00:32:34.740 --> 00:32:39.520
So I feel very at peace with it.

630
00:32:39.540 --> 00:32:41.860
But I'm just like, it's this piece of like,

631
00:32:42.080 --> 00:32:43.520
I like praying in tongues.

632
00:32:43.520 --> 00:32:46.140
Like, I don't even understand all of it.

633
00:32:46.240 --> 00:32:47.640
You know, I'm not like over here thinking, I know.

634
00:32:48.020 --> 00:32:49.560
But anyway, so he's just like, that's fine.

635
00:32:49.940 --> 00:32:52.080
Like, I pray for people to like, I mean,

636
00:32:52.080 --> 00:32:53.340
I pray for deliverance all the time for people.

637
00:32:53.380 --> 00:32:54.260
I don't like that ministry.

638
00:32:54.340 --> 00:32:56.560
But that's what ends up happening a lot of times.

639
00:32:56.680 --> 00:32:59.840
And so I just feel like I'm in this vein.

640
00:33:00.500 --> 00:33:01.460
And he isn't.

641
00:33:02.420 --> 00:33:04.900
And I don't feel like I need a spiritual leader.

642
00:33:04.940 --> 00:33:06.460
You know, I feel like I need a spiritual equal.

643
00:33:07.740 --> 00:33:10.600
So I will say, first, you got here two months in.

644
00:33:10.600 --> 00:33:14.600
So a lot of what you just need under your belt is time

645
00:33:15.100 --> 00:33:18.180
and letting that relationship kind of grow together

646
00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:23.440
and seeing how God's gonna have his gifts come out.

647
00:33:23.800 --> 00:33:26.120
So, you know, one of the, when I was on staff at a church,

648
00:33:26.280 --> 00:33:28.900
one of the classes I used to teach was a version

649
00:33:28.900 --> 00:33:31.660
of the spiritual gift assessment personality profile,

650
00:33:31.900 --> 00:33:32.120
blah, blah, blah.

651
00:33:32.120 --> 00:33:33.520
There's always a version of that.

652
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:38.760
And I'm of the mindset of the belief that there are about,

653
00:33:38.760 --> 00:33:40.320
you know, 20 something gifts,

654
00:33:40.420 --> 00:33:42.320
depending on which, you know, verses in scripture,

655
00:33:42.360 --> 00:33:45.000
you're gonna look at, all of them are valuable.

656
00:33:45.340 --> 00:33:48.100
I don't actually look at more prophetic gifts

657
00:33:48.100 --> 00:33:51.360
in a hierarchy above the other gifts.

658
00:33:52.280 --> 00:33:55.700
And so I would say that, and actually Brian and I

659
00:33:55.700 --> 00:33:57.200
just started attending a new church

660
00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:59.060
and we had to do our spiritual gift assessment.

661
00:33:59.300 --> 00:34:01.960
And, you know, like y'all, mine had pastor

662
00:34:02.260 --> 00:34:04.860
and leadership and teaching,

663
00:34:04.860 --> 00:34:07.460
and his gifts were really different than mine.

664
00:34:07.460 --> 00:34:11.960
And I've had to go like, okay, you go, you know,

665
00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:14.040
so if I really trust what scripture says

666
00:34:14.040 --> 00:34:16.820
about spiritual gifts, then I have to trust

667
00:34:16.820 --> 00:34:20.760
that how God's gonna use Brian in leadership in the church

668
00:34:20.760 --> 00:34:23.620
and even leading me is gonna look really different

669
00:34:23.620 --> 00:34:25.000
than how I manifest my gifts.

670
00:34:25.040 --> 00:34:26.820
And in fact, I don't need Brian's gifts

671
00:34:26.820 --> 00:34:28.400
to be exactly like mine.

672
00:34:28.440 --> 00:34:31.179
And one of the things I used to do when I used to hire people

673
00:34:31.179 --> 00:34:34.560
at my nonprofit was I would purposely hire people

674
00:34:34.560 --> 00:34:38.060
who had gifts and talents that we didn't have on the team.

675
00:34:38.080 --> 00:34:41.179
I don't need more me, like more me is too much.

676
00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:44.260
And so, you know, Jed, like God already knows

677
00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:45.639
what you have as gifts.

678
00:34:45.739 --> 00:34:48.020
And so he's probably gonna bring you somebody

679
00:34:48.060 --> 00:34:50.120
like here's your gifts and here's his gifts.

680
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:51.639
And there's gonna be some overlap.

681
00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:53.800
I think there's gonna be some genuine overlap,

682
00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:56.620
but I think the ones that he's got over here

683
00:34:56.620 --> 00:34:58.560
needs to kind of come out and flourish

684
00:34:58.760 --> 00:34:59.980
while yours are flourishing.

685
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.560
And I'm just going to be praying that the Lord starts to show you how you can help His

686
00:35:07.860 --> 00:35:11.200
shine, not that His look like yours.

687
00:35:11.540 --> 00:35:16.820
And so like, how can you hold space to buoy those up?

688
00:35:16.820 --> 00:35:22.760
Like another good example is, you know, I'm in seminary and I've been on staff at a church.

689
00:35:22.860 --> 00:35:28.640
And so Brian could argue that the depth and breadth of my faith knowledge is bigger and

690
00:35:28.640 --> 00:35:29.340
deeper than his.

691
00:35:29.340 --> 00:35:31.700
And I've been a believer longer than he has.

692
00:35:32.060 --> 00:35:38.180
However, his gifts manifest really differently and have provided incredible stability.

693
00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:40.100
Like one of his spiritual gifts is faith.

694
00:35:40.600 --> 00:35:47.500
And he has this calming faith that I don't, because even though I'm all great, I can be

695
00:35:47.500 --> 00:35:52.380
like an emotional rollercoaster and he's just like, and it's just so calming.

696
00:35:52.580 --> 00:35:57.640
And the other thing is when I first started going to church with him, you know, he's sitting

697
00:35:57.640 --> 00:36:00.680
in there, he's sitting over there, so you can totally hear me saying this, but I have

698
00:36:00.680 --> 00:36:01.560
said this to his face.

699
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:04.080
So he kind of grew up in a mainline denomination.

700
00:36:04.220 --> 00:36:08.640
And so I would call it the frozen chosen, you know, which I worked on staff at a Presbyterian

701
00:36:08.640 --> 00:36:08.840
church.

702
00:36:08.840 --> 00:36:13.200
So I say that with a lot of grace and, you know, we were going to church and like, he

703
00:36:13.200 --> 00:36:16.600
would just be standing there like this, not like this during the praise and worship.

704
00:36:16.600 --> 00:36:20.500
And I'm like, he surely can't be getting the same amount out of it that I am.

705
00:36:20.700 --> 00:36:24.120
But then I would start to really watch him and the guy would be like interior.

706
00:36:24.120 --> 00:36:24.800
Right.

707
00:36:25.140 --> 00:36:29.900
And, and so, and what I've learned is what he enjoys that.

708
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:35.420
So first, so I just, I kind of felt like when I saw your post in the Facebook page and I

709
00:36:35.420 --> 00:36:40.940
got a chance to speak to it tonight, I wanted you to, to, to free yourself from thinking

710
00:36:40.980 --> 00:36:47.300
his needs to look like yours and it is okay if his is even more quiet and it's not as

711
00:36:47.660 --> 00:36:49.920
the spark isn't as big as yours.

712
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:51.640
I'm okay with all of that.

713
00:36:51.640 --> 00:36:56.460
And then so, so know that he can lead you even without all of that.

714
00:36:56.460 --> 00:37:04.200
I think the biggest question is like the mindset of, or like the, that's my, I guess that's

715
00:37:04.200 --> 00:37:04.900
my biggest wonder.

716
00:37:04.960 --> 00:37:06.300
My biggest question is the mindset.

717
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:07.880
Like I'm okay that it doesn't look like me.

718
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:08.260
I'm okay.

719
00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:08.960
Like I'm a law.

720
00:37:08.980 --> 00:37:09.300
I'm okay.

721
00:37:09.640 --> 00:37:11.180
So what's the mindset then?

722
00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:12.460
What's that you're struggling with?

723
00:37:14.240 --> 00:37:20.920
Like, like I think like generational, I think, I think of in, in the spirit world, I think

724
00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:25.320
like generate, I just think I see it different and he's like, I look like, and he's like

725
00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:28.940
over there crying and worship, you know, like I'm, I didn't even know until, you know, cause

726
00:37:28.940 --> 00:37:30.820
I would've thought he just wasn't enjoying it, you know?

727
00:37:30.860 --> 00:37:35.180
So I mean I've had those, so it's, I don't, it doesn't need to like manifest the same

728
00:37:35.180 --> 00:37:36.420
way as I'm experienced like that.

729
00:37:36.420 --> 00:37:40.660
I'm fine with that, but I guess maybe because he hasn't had experience in the sort of churches

730
00:37:40.660 --> 00:37:48.500
I have, um, or he's not drawn to those sort of like, I mean, think about, I mean, think

731
00:37:48.500 --> 00:37:55.040
about even the 12 disciples, they had very different backgrounds, very different training.

732
00:37:55.260 --> 00:38:00.780
I mean, when you think about the fact that Peter became the leader, I mean, Peter was

733
00:38:00.780 --> 00:38:06.840
a stinking little fisherman and he went up against, um, a physician and he went up against

734
00:38:07.020 --> 00:38:10.300
somebody who was obviously the tax collector who was really good in math.

735
00:38:10.380 --> 00:38:11.200
I mean, do you know what I'm saying?

736
00:38:11.200 --> 00:38:18.480
It's like, so I, again, just because he came in after you in God's economy of time, if

737
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:22.020
God's not bound by time, I don't know why I'm supposed to say this, God is not bound

738
00:38:22.020 --> 00:38:22.620
by time.

739
00:38:23.320 --> 00:38:29.480
So let's not, let's not bind your potential spirit mate by time.

740
00:38:30.040 --> 00:38:35.460
God can do in a very short amount of time and his conversion and his exponential growth

741
00:38:35.460 --> 00:38:44.020
and you actually might be the fire that lights under him that he will just go, and so like

742
00:38:44.020 --> 00:38:50.480
you could be the very thing to spark, like, cause where Brian is today versus nine months

743
00:38:51.100 --> 00:38:53.540
ago is exponential.

744
00:38:53.540 --> 00:39:00.660
Like his, his ability to share and speak his faith has catapulted and it's because I didn't

745
00:39:00.660 --> 00:39:03.240
try to get him to catch up to me per se.

746
00:39:03.700 --> 00:39:05.800
And so your guy doesn't need to catch up to you.

747
00:39:06.340 --> 00:39:12.740
He just needs to explode and, and so maybe be thinking about for you, and I don't know

748
00:39:12.740 --> 00:39:13.240
what it is.

749
00:39:13.500 --> 00:39:14.880
Is it your own comparison?

750
00:39:15.380 --> 00:39:16.020
Is it your own?

751
00:39:16.200 --> 00:39:17.220
What are people going to think?

752
00:39:17.500 --> 00:39:22.420
And maybe that this is like stirring up in you something actually God wants to teach

753
00:39:23.080 --> 00:39:23.560
you.

754
00:39:24.260 --> 00:39:30.760
Well, I don't want to F up again, you know, like, I mean, you know, I got, yes, I feel

755
00:39:30.760 --> 00:39:31.140
you.

756
00:39:31.140 --> 00:39:38.340
I've got three littles, you know, like, you know, so just like I, yeah, oh my gosh, Renee,

757
00:39:38.340 --> 00:39:40.680
can I please just, can I just jump in?

758
00:39:40.680 --> 00:39:40.900
Okay.

759
00:39:40.900 --> 00:39:44.940
I'm packing you guys, but I'm listening because I never get to hear Renee coach and I just,

760
00:39:45.200 --> 00:39:46.700
I want to, I want to hear her too.

761
00:39:46.720 --> 00:39:47.060
Okay.

762
00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:47.620
Never.

763
00:39:47.720 --> 00:39:49.400
Renee, I don't think I ever have.

764
00:39:49.600 --> 00:39:50.540
Can you believe that?

765
00:39:51.140 --> 00:39:51.480
It's crazy.

766
00:39:52.060 --> 00:39:52.500
I know.

767
00:39:52.560 --> 00:39:53.060
What the heck?

768
00:39:53.140 --> 00:39:53.400
Okay.

769
00:39:53.560 --> 00:39:56.760
So I just want to say this is that Jed, that's your name, right?

770
00:39:56.760 --> 00:39:57.720
And I know who you are.

771
00:39:57.800 --> 00:39:59.880
I've seen your cute little Instagram.

772
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.620
posts where you're all like, you know, just little life of the party and all the things,

773
00:40:05.120 --> 00:40:07.160
you know, like your photo shoot thing.

774
00:40:07.320 --> 00:40:08.820
I think I commented on it.

775
00:40:08.840 --> 00:40:15.460
So here's what I want to say to you is that David is completely opposite of me spiritually.

776
00:40:16.340 --> 00:40:20.980
And even though he has a long heritage, you know, he's been saved since he was four years

777
00:40:20.980 --> 00:40:24.640
old, all the things, his spiritual gifts, like Renee was saying, very different than

778
00:40:24.640 --> 00:40:24.980
mine.

779
00:40:24.980 --> 00:40:30.160
And for a personality like yours, because I can sense that you're more like Renee and

780
00:40:30.160 --> 00:40:34.980
I than not like us, and you're more like us than not like us.

781
00:40:35.300 --> 00:40:39.940
The most beautiful gifts that you could have, the most complimentary gifts that you could

782
00:40:39.940 --> 00:40:45.060
have in a partner and a spirit mate would be stabilizing gifts, would be gifts that

783
00:40:45.060 --> 00:40:50.440
bring peace, like Renee was saying, that calm you down when you get a little too riled up

784
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:58.420
about things in your feeler, in your feeler gift that are just stable and solid and bring

785
00:40:58.420 --> 00:40:59.400
peace to you.

786
00:40:59.520 --> 00:41:02.220
And honestly, just let you fly high.

787
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:04.420
Like I always call it the string to your kite.

788
00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:07.260
You need the string to your kite.

789
00:41:07.700 --> 00:41:10.040
And so I understand what you're saying.

790
00:41:10.060 --> 00:41:11.600
I was a single mom when I met David.

791
00:41:11.660 --> 00:41:13.280
I know you guys have been married for 18 years.

792
00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:15.340
You guys forget that I was all of you.

793
00:41:15.580 --> 00:41:15.980
Okay.

794
00:41:15.980 --> 00:41:17.660
I used to be all of you too.

795
00:41:17.660 --> 00:41:18.200
All right.

796
00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:23.440
Divorce, single mom, don't want to mess up again, don't want to do all the things, but

797
00:41:23.440 --> 00:41:25.060
you have to be a fruit inspector.

798
00:41:26.180 --> 00:41:27.380
I watched David.

799
00:41:27.500 --> 00:41:28.300
He was my neighbor.

800
00:41:28.600 --> 00:41:29.200
I watched him.

801
00:41:29.400 --> 00:41:34.160
I watched what other people said about him because we ended up knowing some similar people

802
00:41:34.240 --> 00:41:36.140
and had some things in common.

803
00:41:36.700 --> 00:41:38.160
I watched him.

804
00:41:39.040 --> 00:41:42.520
And so that's the more important thing is you're getting to know this guy is that you

805
00:41:42.520 --> 00:41:43.760
watch him in different scenarios.

806
00:41:43.860 --> 00:41:44.980
You see how he reacts.

807
00:41:45.240 --> 00:41:47.120
You see how other people take him in.

808
00:41:47.120 --> 00:41:48.840
What do other people think about him?

809
00:41:49.200 --> 00:41:54.220
Not judgmental, you know, duties that want to just, you know, say everyone's not, you

810
00:41:54.220 --> 00:41:58.540
know, doesn't, isn't right or isn't good enough, but that's what you want to do in this season.

811
00:41:58.620 --> 00:42:02.580
You're only two months in, like Renee said, and this is the time to be a fruit inspector

812
00:42:02.580 --> 00:42:05.020
and just allow yourself to see the fruit.

813
00:42:05.400 --> 00:42:09.560
And how does this person make me feel when I'm in their presence?

814
00:42:09.680 --> 00:42:10.480
Do I feel stable?

815
00:42:10.580 --> 00:42:11.520
Do I feel peaceful?

816
00:42:11.520 --> 00:42:17.480
Do I feel, you know, are his gifts helping me to, um, to stabilize my gifts?

817
00:42:17.960 --> 00:42:18.220
Hmm.

818
00:42:18.760 --> 00:42:19.040
Hmm.

819
00:42:19.040 --> 00:42:19.840
That's good.

820
00:42:20.700 --> 00:42:22.340
I like the string in the kite thing.

821
00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:22.980
That's good.

822
00:42:23.700 --> 00:42:25.520
I feel that.

823
00:42:25.940 --> 00:42:29.840
And just enjoy this time, Jed, like you are in the early phase.

824
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:35.440
So this is really the time you should be just having a blast with him getting to him.

825
00:42:35.460 --> 00:42:35.900
We are.

826
00:42:35.900 --> 00:42:40.500
It's just this thing in my head that I'm like, it's not stopping anything, but I'm just,

827
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:43.940
it's a weird, well, it's a weird thing to discuss like in my, you know, I don't have

828
00:42:43.940 --> 00:42:44.340
single front.

829
00:42:44.440 --> 00:42:45.760
I mean, I have some, but I don't know.

830
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:48.300
It's just, it's a, it's, it's hard to articulate.

831
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:52.820
And I felt like this would be the place to kind of, well, I'm glad because I think just

832
00:42:52.820 --> 00:42:57.640
based on what I read in the chats, I think a lot of what you were bringing up, a lot

833
00:42:57.640 --> 00:42:59.080
of people kind of experience.

834
00:42:59.300 --> 00:43:03.780
And I see that a lot when I look at the phase two women in the phase three, when I see people

835
00:43:03.780 --> 00:43:09.400
kind of talk about it, we kind of all fall in this, like we're describing what we want

836
00:43:09.400 --> 00:43:09.980
in somebody.

837
00:43:10.040 --> 00:43:12.380
And I'm like, oh my gosh, that guy looks like, sounds like Jesus.

838
00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:16.340
Like, I don't know how any guy's going to live up to the list that we ladies come up

839
00:43:16.340 --> 00:43:16.860
with sometimes.

840
00:43:16.980 --> 00:43:20.860
Like he's got to be high EQ, high IQ, high SQ.

841
00:43:21.120 --> 00:43:25.620
And he wants to help me get on the way and he wants me to do this and he's got to be

842
00:43:25.620 --> 00:43:26.240
five 11.

843
00:43:26.500 --> 00:43:32.400
And, and I'm like, well, dang it, like the poor guy, like can't be all that stuff.

844
00:43:33.200 --> 00:43:36.500
And so I love everything that Jackie said too.

845
00:43:36.500 --> 00:43:41.920
And I think, and you're beautiful and you're amazing and enjoy, and that's like the biggest

846
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:42.880
thing that I've learned.

847
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:48.740
And as Jackie talked about, like the almost maybe like, see how much peace you feel in

848
00:43:48.740 --> 00:43:55.880
this relationship and let the rest just kind of quiet or not, you know, you will know,

849
00:43:55.980 --> 00:44:00.500
like peace will come on you and pay, pray for that peace.

850
00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:06.180
And like, if you feel like it's weird that I have that, you know, that's what I, and

851
00:44:06.180 --> 00:44:10.160
so I'm just like, I, I, I just, I'm the peace freaking you out.

852
00:44:10.160 --> 00:44:16.120
Are you saying that you have the peace peace and I grow, I'm pleasantly surprised, consistently

853
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:17.060
pleasantly, you know?

854
00:44:17.060 --> 00:44:18.040
So it's like good.

855
00:44:18.200 --> 00:44:20.540
And I feel like I'm pacing myself really well.

856
00:44:20.540 --> 00:44:25.100
Like I, you know, I mean that man, you know, he, I feel like he'd marry me tomorrow is

857
00:44:25.100 --> 00:44:26.680
where he is, you know, I mean, he's holding it back.

858
00:44:26.800 --> 00:44:28.860
I can tell, you know, and I'm not there, you know?

859
00:44:29.300 --> 00:44:31.600
And so internally I'm not holding anything back.

860
00:44:31.600 --> 00:44:36.880
I just, I feel like it's a really good pace for me and I, um, I'm just, yeah, yeah.

861
00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:41.180
It's just, this is the only thing that I have a question mark on and I don't feel like I

862
00:44:41.180 --> 00:44:45.100
have my own, you know, it's just, it's just different, but it's not bad.

863
00:44:45.240 --> 00:44:45.620
It's just different.

864
00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:47.220
And Tim, Tim asked a good question.

865
00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:51.900
And that's the thing you want to be like, I think Jackie always says the fruit inspection

866
00:44:52.300 --> 00:44:53.180
really big.

867
00:44:53.380 --> 00:44:59.420
Like I watched Brian with other people and his character shown through like really, really,

868
00:44:59.420 --> 00:44:59.980
really big.

869
00:44:59.980 --> 00:44:59.980


870
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.040
And so to me, that stood out more than anything.

871
00:45:03.260 --> 00:45:05.020
And so pay attention to that.

872
00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:07.020
Pay attention to how he interacts with your friends,

873
00:45:07.020 --> 00:45:09.780
with your family, with the Walgreens person.

874
00:45:12.280 --> 00:45:14.720
That's what you're really looking for is his character,

875
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:17.400
because because one of the questions that Tim said was,

876
00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:20.320
are you worried that you have different values spiritually?

877
00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:24.760
And, you know, I would say your values are your values.

878
00:45:24.820 --> 00:45:26.480
And so just be paying attention to that.

879
00:45:26.480 --> 00:45:28.680
But again, you are two months in.

880
00:45:29.300 --> 00:45:30.260
Go at the right pace.

881
00:45:30.500 --> 00:45:33.060
Just enjoy yourself, get to know each other.

882
00:45:33.200 --> 00:45:35.000
And I can't say this enough.

883
00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:36.420
Spend time in community.

884
00:45:36.940 --> 00:45:40.700
I put, you know, Brian in front of every godly married

885
00:45:41.060 --> 00:45:44.620
couple that I could think of as much as possible.

886
00:45:44.620 --> 00:45:49.780
And I watched them with him because not that I didn't love my single friends,

887
00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:52.960
but I wanted healthy, godly marriages to speak into

888
00:45:53.080 --> 00:45:55.600
what they thought of his character and his person.

889
00:45:55.600 --> 00:45:58.000
And I also wanted him to feel like these are couples

890
00:45:58.000 --> 00:45:59.360
we're going to be hanging out with.

891
00:46:00.500 --> 00:46:02.500
So just be doing that, too.

892
00:46:02.500 --> 00:46:04.400
And the rest will come.

893
00:46:04.700 --> 00:46:07.180
And next month, if you have more questions, we can check in.

894
00:46:07.740 --> 00:46:09.800
But I'm loving your glasses. I'm loving your look.

895
00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:12.480
I think that he might be a calm and balm.

896
00:46:12.580 --> 00:46:15.680
And if he's not, you will learn something really amazing from this.

897
00:46:15.720 --> 00:46:19.460
I think that's the thing that we can take away from this program

898
00:46:19.460 --> 00:46:21.900
is if we are God defended and we're dating healthy,

899
00:46:22.980 --> 00:46:27.120
then even when the relationship's a no, we still learn and we still grow.

900
00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:29.020
And there's no effing it up.

901
00:46:29.120 --> 00:46:30.660
Like I know that you're worried about it.

902
00:46:30.660 --> 00:46:33.240
Like if he's your guy, you kind of can't.

903
00:46:33.580 --> 00:46:35.560
You know, you kind of can't.

904
00:46:36.600 --> 00:46:40.200
And God will find a way to calm your butt down just a little bit.

905
00:46:40.480 --> 00:46:44.760
And I'm excited to hear we are excited to hear as you progress along.

906
00:46:45.040 --> 00:46:47.260
All right, girl. Thank you.

907
00:46:47.660 --> 00:46:50.240
Jackie, I don't know if you can make me a host.

908
00:46:50.240 --> 00:46:53.560
I realize that's why I can't I can only pin people, but I can't

909
00:46:55.140 --> 00:46:57.720
make them. I can't do anything else.

910
00:46:58.080 --> 00:46:59.240
But all right.

911
00:46:59.240 --> 00:47:04.140
So the next person on the list, that was I will be able to take questions

912
00:47:04.140 --> 00:47:07.680
in a hot second, but we have to at least go through the people that

913
00:47:08.460 --> 00:47:09.680
pre kind of shared it.

914
00:47:09.780 --> 00:47:11.300
Stacey Cleland, are you here?

915
00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:12.760
Yes, I'm here.

916
00:47:13.520 --> 00:47:14.400
All righty, girl.

917
00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:15.980
I'm going to find you in just a hot second.

918
00:47:15.980 --> 00:47:20.660
And I'm trying to keep talking, so I'm on the screen.

919
00:47:21.520 --> 00:47:23.540
Hopefully that I'm mostly looking through the right.

920
00:47:23.960 --> 00:47:25.880
Oh, yeah, that does pump you up, doesn't it do that?

921
00:47:26.080 --> 00:47:28.480
Yeah, yeah, there you are.

922
00:47:28.480 --> 00:47:29.400
There you are. OK.

923
00:47:30.940 --> 00:47:33.120
OK, OK. OK, so Stacey

924
00:47:34.440 --> 00:47:37.940
is currently at level two, just dating in just a few weeks

925
00:47:37.940 --> 00:47:39.780
and they just had a third date

926
00:47:40.980 --> 00:47:43.440
and because of conflicting schedules,

927
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:47.540
there's been some distance between the dates, let's just say,

928
00:47:47.700 --> 00:47:52.280
because you guys have been matched a month and you've had three days,

929
00:47:52.380 --> 00:47:54.520
although three dates in a month is actually not that bad.

930
00:47:55.020 --> 00:47:58.120
So the first thing that jumped out to me when I read your summary

931
00:47:59.120 --> 00:48:02.420
is it says that you are texting a lot between the dates.

932
00:48:03.060 --> 00:48:08.200
Tell me how much face to face either on FaceTime or video or messenger

933
00:48:08.640 --> 00:48:11.980
or phone conversations are you having between the dates?

934
00:48:11.980 --> 00:48:15.380
Because I'm going to encourage you to minimize the texting.

935
00:48:15.560 --> 00:48:16.740
You know, this is my thing.

936
00:48:16.740 --> 00:48:19.380
You guys, we need to stop dating by text.

937
00:48:19.460 --> 00:48:21.780
I used to help people at Hope Clinic all the time.

938
00:48:21.860 --> 00:48:25.060
They would get pregnant and have babies and they could barely talk to each other

939
00:48:25.060 --> 00:48:28.680
in the same room because they texted the whole way through the relationship.

940
00:48:28.940 --> 00:48:31.520
So tell me how much conversation you're having.

941
00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:36.220
Well, and I think that's the hard part, too, is because like it is just all text.

942
00:48:38.220 --> 00:48:41.340
There was like one time when I tried to I was like,

943
00:48:41.340 --> 00:48:44.880
oh, you know, this is going to be such a long time since we can meet.

944
00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:46.840
You know, do you want to do like a video chat?

945
00:48:46.860 --> 00:48:48.940
And he was like, oh, I think I'm going to go to bed and

946
00:48:49.660 --> 00:48:50.680
walk the dog and go to bed.

947
00:48:52.320 --> 00:48:54.800
So he's like an hour away from me.

948
00:48:55.600 --> 00:48:58.940
He's an active duty army reservist.

949
00:48:59.660 --> 00:49:03.560
So I think his schedule just kind of plays a hot role in that.

950
00:49:03.560 --> 00:49:06.160
And he's not always around his phone either, too.

951
00:49:06.160 --> 00:49:08.120
So I think that makes it tricky. But.

952
00:49:09.420 --> 00:49:11.820
Yeah, if he's texting you, he's near his phone.

953
00:49:12.620 --> 00:49:14.560
Well, it's not like during the day

954
00:49:14.800 --> 00:49:18.480
because he's not able to have his phone a lot of the time when he's at work.

955
00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:25.580
So but like I think there's interest for sure.

956
00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:29.160
OK, so here's what I noticed, because here's what you admitted in your post

957
00:49:29.160 --> 00:49:31.980
was there's a little like when you guys were together,

958
00:49:32.020 --> 00:49:34.720
there was a little romance. Yes.

959
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:38.200
So the problem is and that's why Jackie talks about this a lot,

960
00:49:38.300 --> 00:49:42.660
that we really shouldn't bring the romance and into level three.

961
00:49:43.160 --> 00:49:47.740
Because you've been on three dates and in both of those last two dates,

962
00:49:47.800 --> 00:49:51.900
there's been physical romance, but he's not pursuing you

963
00:49:51.900 --> 00:49:54.420
with intention in between those dates.

964
00:49:54.500 --> 00:49:57.140
And so it's it's unequal.

965
00:49:57.140 --> 00:49:59.620
Like there are some it's not matching.

966
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.140
not congruent. And so it is okay for you to say, you know, like, Hey, once we start going

967
00:50:07.140 --> 00:50:12.540
out on a date, you know, in between those dates for us to continue the momentum, even

968
00:50:12.540 --> 00:50:17.300
if we can't see each other, my preference would be to FaceTime with you to talk to you

969
00:50:17.300 --> 00:50:22.080
on the phone so that we have real interaction. I feel like texting at this point would be

970
00:50:22.080 --> 00:50:25.040
for like, Hey, what time are you picking me up? You know, like what time are we getting

971
00:50:25.040 --> 00:50:32.000
there? It is that. Um, so if I were you, I would be reigning in the romance and not

972
00:50:32.180 --> 00:50:38.480
be forthcoming because it's not matching. Yeah. And so if you're feeling any confusion,

973
00:50:38.680 --> 00:50:45.140
it's cause it's not congruent. Yes. Yeah. And so that's my only concern is that because

974
00:50:45.140 --> 00:50:48.860
he doesn't have this next date, like you're kind of giving him a lot of passes. You're

975
00:50:48.860 --> 00:50:52.440
like, well, he's going to be out, it's the holidays and he might have surgery and he's

976
00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:59.340
worried about that. If a man is pursuing you, he's pursuing you. As Jackie says, my favorite

977
00:50:59.340 --> 00:51:04.400
quote of Jackie is if he's interested, he will cut off his arm and use it as an, or

978
00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:10.040
to row upstream to get to you. Yes. It's one of my favorite analogies she's ever given.

979
00:51:10.380 --> 00:51:17.200
And so, um, I don't, cause you said, is it too soon on date for to ask deeper questions

980
00:51:17.200 --> 00:51:21.200
to make sure we're in alignment? That's the problem. You're not having enough

981
00:51:21.840 --> 00:51:27.780
day to day conversations. Yeah. So if you want to in date for go to these deep,

982
00:51:28.040 --> 00:51:32.840
heavy conversations, you haven't, I don't know what your texting conversations are like.

983
00:51:32.840 --> 00:51:38.540
Hopefully they're not heavy because you're just texting. No. Yeah. Yeah. So they're pretty light.

984
00:51:38.860 --> 00:51:43.420
Yes. They're light. And you know, he makes an effort every day to say like, good morning.

985
00:51:43.420 --> 00:51:49.200
And you know, I hope you have a good day, that sort of thing. Um, and the texts definitely are

986
00:51:49.200 --> 00:51:55.480
or not, which, you know, to me that shows like he's interested in being intentional,

987
00:51:55.660 --> 00:52:01.880
but at the same time, I'm like, I just want to see you like, or talk to you. Um, so I think

988
00:52:01.880 --> 00:52:07.240
there's just kind of a lot of that there too, where it's like, no, take the lead on this bud.

989
00:52:07.580 --> 00:52:13.940
Right. But you, and how you, and one of the things that Jackie lets us do that I think is okay. It's

990
00:52:13.940 --> 00:52:19.940
ask for what you need. So I think it is okay for you to say like, Hey, I forget what you said his

991
00:52:19.940 --> 00:52:24.840
name was. I don't know if you did say what his name was. I said, M I don't know. Hey, that's

992
00:52:24.840 --> 00:52:30.100
fine. So, Hey, I'm just, so, you know, I'm dating with intention and purpose. And so I want to date

993
00:52:30.100 --> 00:52:34.860
people who have actually time today and get to know each other in real life, whether that's on

994
00:52:34.860 --> 00:52:40.720
a phone call, whether that's on a video or in person, you know, I'm really not, you know,

995
00:52:40.720 --> 00:52:44.980
I'm really not wanting to just text my way through getting to know somebody.

996
00:52:45.160 --> 00:52:51.060
If that's where you're at too. That's awesome. I'd love to keep getting to know you. Um,

997
00:52:51.260 --> 00:52:55.340
and, and kind of putting that intention out there, what you're looking for. And I would say

998
00:52:55.340 --> 00:53:03.220
not giving him so much of a pass on the holidays and surgery. Like, I don't know, for me after

999
00:53:03.220 --> 00:53:08.560
three dates and I've, I've actually been there. I've actually been, I dated somebody for two

1000
00:53:08.750 --> 00:53:13.870
months that in between the dates, he got in the habit of only texting me. And I spent way too many

1001
00:53:15.010 --> 00:53:20.810
moments like re like really reading between the lines between every text message, because there's

1002
00:53:20.810 --> 00:53:28.150
just, you're missing so much content. Um, so it's okay for you to say texting is just not enough

1003
00:53:28.150 --> 00:53:33.930
for me. Like it is okay. If you're not in that space right now, like, but just so you know,

1004
00:53:33.930 --> 00:53:38.250
like right now texting, is it enough? And then if you do guys have another date again,

1005
00:53:38.390 --> 00:53:43.230
I would really rain back holding his hand, letting him hug you and kiss you. Cause he's

1006
00:53:43.230 --> 00:53:49.270
really not earned that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you're too amazing, Stacey. I know.

1007
00:53:50.950 --> 00:53:57.090
Thank you. I appreciate that. Um, yeah, I, I agree that. And it went, you know, it went a

1008
00:53:57.090 --> 00:54:01.990
little too fast there and I get it. You know what, when you're feeling the chemistry and you're all

1009
00:54:01.990 --> 00:54:08.030
Lord, I get it. You're all, I'm not, I've been there. Um, I'm just going to encourage you to

1010
00:54:08.030 --> 00:54:13.650
start to be, to be less available by text too. That's the thing. Also be less available by text,

1011
00:54:13.850 --> 00:54:18.810
like, you know, like you can, like Brian would joke around and say, cause like my common answer

1012
00:54:18.810 --> 00:54:24.330
was that's a great question for a phone call. That's a great question for a video chat. Like

1013
00:54:24.330 --> 00:54:30.450
that's too clunky of a question for a text. So it's okay. Like in our effort, y'all, sometimes

1014
00:54:30.450 --> 00:54:34.570
we want to keep the relationship going. So we're going to keep mirroring the way they're

1015
00:54:34.570 --> 00:54:38.890
communicating with us. But if that's not the way you want to communicate and you need more,

1016
00:54:39.350 --> 00:54:45.790
it's okay for you to start to rein in responding by text, but also letting him know you're

1017
00:54:45.790 --> 00:54:50.190
interested, but here's how you would prefer to communicate. Yeah. Cause what I'm going to do

1018
00:54:50.190 --> 00:54:55.830
is play games with him and just, right. Well, and I kind of said that a little bit too, like

1019
00:54:55.830 --> 00:54:59.970
on the last day at all, I was like, no more of this, like waiting a week to ask me.

1020
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.820
out again. And he was like, well, you've asked me out too. And I'm like, well, I want you to take

1021
00:55:05.820 --> 00:55:13.520
the lead, you know, like, uh, so I think maybe just, can I reiterate that over text? Well,

1022
00:55:13.780 --> 00:55:18.280
well, you know what, since he threw the ball back in your court and he said, well, you can ask me

1023
00:55:18.280 --> 00:55:21.940
out, then why don't you ask him out? Like, if you've already been on three dates, then why

1024
00:55:21.940 --> 00:55:26.560
didn't you say great. Then like, these are the three dates in the next two weeks that work for

1025
00:55:26.560 --> 00:55:31.840
me. Do any of them work for you for us to go watch Christmas lights, go sing carols, go do

1026
00:55:31.900 --> 00:55:37.220
whatever. So since he threw it out to you and said, well, you can ask me too. You can just say,

1027
00:55:37.240 --> 00:55:42.580
well, you know what, here's some dates I've got open. Do those work for you? And then if he says

1028
00:55:42.680 --> 00:55:49.800
no to them and he doesn't offer a counteroffer, then how much does he really want to go out with

1029
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:57.300
him? Cause he might like you just not enough. Like you, like you want a guy to like you enough

1030
00:55:57.300 --> 00:56:01.540
that he actually wants to see you again. Right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

1031
00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:08.460
I didn't think we were allowed to do that after the first date. Well, you've already had three.

1032
00:56:08.700 --> 00:56:19.780
You said, yes, but I didn't think that we were allowed to ask them out again after the, after

1033
00:56:19.780 --> 00:56:25.080
you want him to take the lead, but he actually threw the ball in your court, right? And said,

1034
00:56:25.180 --> 00:56:29.880
well, you can ask me out. So I actually would kind of test that a little bit and go like,

1035
00:56:30.140 --> 00:56:34.240
you know what? I don't normally like to ask the guy out, but since you threw in my court,

1036
00:56:34.720 --> 00:56:38.180
here's a couple options I have. Let me know if you'd be interested in either one of them.

1037
00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:43.520
Renee, I want to jump in. Okay, good. Cause I write an entire chapter, a couple chapters on

1038
00:56:43.520 --> 00:56:49.360
this in the new book, y'all modern dating sex. So I might be wrong. No, no, no, no. Listen,

1039
00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:54.280
no, that was the original, that was the original coaching. And you know, God's really been working

1040
00:56:54.280 --> 00:56:59.600
on my heart about the modern day that we live in. And you guys were not going to ever go back to the

1041
00:57:00.140 --> 00:57:03.220
fifties and we don't want to go back to the fifties because I just want to let you know,

1042
00:57:03.220 --> 00:57:07.120
you guys don't know what was really happening in the fifties. The fifties was just patriarchal

1043
00:57:07.640 --> 00:57:13.640
propaganda. It wasn't real. Okay. Housewives and pearls vacuuming. Okay. It wasn't real.

1044
00:57:13.640 --> 00:57:18.940
And so the history of modern dating is going to have you shook. When you read my book,

1045
00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:23.280
where does dating come from? All of you know, that's not mentioned in the Bible, right? We're

1046
00:57:23.280 --> 00:57:26.420
talking about courtship. We're almost talking about arranged marriage. If we're being fair,

1047
00:57:26.580 --> 00:57:31.440
the Bible mostly talks about arranged marriage. It doesn't talk even about courtship. There wasn't

1048
00:57:31.440 --> 00:57:36.580
really a lot of choice going on at all in the Bible days. Okay. And if the next person who

1049
00:57:36.580 --> 00:57:40.540
says something to me about Boaz, I want you to know there's a 40 year age difference between

1050
00:57:40.540 --> 00:57:46.520
Ruth and Boaz, 40 years. And unless you want to sign up for that, don't tell me anything more

1051
00:57:46.520 --> 00:57:52.080
about Boaz. Okay. And it was also a very obedience driven, transactional marriage.

1052
00:57:52.640 --> 00:57:58.440
Boaz was doing something for his kinsmen as a kinsman redeemer with a widow. It wasn't because

1053
00:57:58.440 --> 00:58:05.080
he was in love with Ruth, although she was young. So, hey, Boaz. All right. So bottom line is,

1054
00:58:05.080 --> 00:58:10.300
is that the modern rules, the rules that we have adopted as, oh, the guy should go first

1055
00:58:10.300 --> 00:58:14.620
and the guy should do this and the guy should pay for the date. You guys are going to really,

1056
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:18.660
you're going to be really surprised when you read my book about what I have to say about this.

1057
00:58:19.580 --> 00:58:24.380
Modern marriage is about reciprocation. And I believe that we have an opportunity for modern

1058
00:58:24.380 --> 00:58:30.800
marriage to be as much like what God expected or what God, you know, had in mind and created.

1059
00:58:31.000 --> 00:58:36.620
We have, we have so much potential to do that. It's West Coast swing friends. It's not a waltz.

1060
00:58:36.620 --> 00:58:39.680
We're not waiting for the man to drag us around the floor.

1061
00:58:40.500 --> 00:58:44.860
We're not waiting for him to make all of our decisions. We're, we're strong women. Most of

1062
00:58:44.860 --> 00:58:49.620
you have been single for a long time. Maybe even your whole lives. Guess what? You have some

1063
00:58:49.620 --> 00:58:54.060
opinions about some things. You got some thoughts in your head. You have a way that you do life.

1064
00:58:54.120 --> 00:58:57.420
If you think that some man's just going to swoop in and you're just going to do everything the

1065
00:58:57.420 --> 00:59:00.760
way he wants it to be done and you're going to be a little pissed, you know, passenger princess

1066
00:59:00.760 --> 00:59:05.860
submission. Oh, it's not going to happen. Okay. And that's not the way God meant it to be.

1067
00:59:06.300 --> 00:59:10.860
We are two equals that are very different. We're complimentary opposites and equals.

1068
00:59:11.820 --> 00:59:17.780
So to answer Stacy's question, if you see someone, if you see someone not having any effort,

1069
00:59:17.840 --> 00:59:24.120
then you don't reciprocate effort. Okay. If this guy truly has a busy job and he's not allowed to

1070
00:59:24.120 --> 00:59:30.740
have his phone because you know, he's, you know, he's in the military and they don't, they're not

1071
00:59:30.740 --> 00:59:37.420
to be married to a Marine and that was before phones, but yeah. And I just want to say that.

1072
00:59:38.400 --> 00:59:43.460
Yes, you can volley it. Stacy, you can use your instincts. You can volley it. If you think that

1073
00:59:43.460 --> 00:59:51.060
he is making an excuse to deflect, then be intelligent and just move on. Right. Just use

1074
00:59:51.060 --> 00:59:55.240
your intuition, be intelligent, spiritually intelligent, emotionally intelligent, and move on.

1075
00:59:55.720 --> 00:59:59.480
But if he's saying, Hey, I don't want to do all the heavy lifting here.

1076
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.700
I want to see that you have desire for this as well,

1077
01:00:03.960 --> 01:00:06.060
which I'm gonna tell you, 100% of men want.

1078
01:00:07.320 --> 01:00:11.640
100% of men do not want to feel like it is the 1950s

1079
01:00:11.640 --> 01:00:14.340
and they're the ones that are having to drag your butt

1080
01:00:14.340 --> 01:00:16.440
to the ice cream parlor, okay?

1081
01:00:16.620 --> 01:00:19.580
They want to see that you want them back.

1082
01:00:19.680 --> 01:00:20.840
They want to be wanted.

1083
01:00:21.060 --> 01:00:22.660
And so you're allowed to volley.

1084
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:26.320
You're allowed to say, okay, like Renee said,

1085
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:29.400
he said that I should ask him out sometime.

1086
01:00:29.400 --> 01:00:31.500
All right, Sadie Hawkins, let's go.

1087
01:00:31.840 --> 01:00:33.580
Go ahead and ask him out.

1088
01:00:33.760 --> 01:00:35.760
And like Renee said, if he's always too busy

1089
01:00:35.760 --> 01:00:38.540
to receive your invitation, see ya boy, bye.

1090
01:00:40.360 --> 01:00:41.360
Okay, that's great.

1091
01:00:41.400 --> 01:00:44.840
Cause like I, he like waited a week and then was like,

1092
01:00:44.920 --> 01:00:46.880
oh, what are you up to this weekend on Friday?

1093
01:00:47.520 --> 01:00:49.300
And I said what I was doing.

1094
01:00:49.400 --> 01:00:50.560
And then he said what he was doing.

1095
01:00:50.640 --> 01:00:52.160
And I was like, oh, it seems as if we both

1096
01:00:52.360 --> 01:00:53.460
have Sunday available.

1097
01:00:53.680 --> 01:00:58.480
So we did kind of go out and I kind of planned it.

1098
01:00:58.480 --> 01:01:00.120
It was my idea what we did,

1099
01:01:00.780 --> 01:01:03.100
but I think that is very helpful.

1100
01:01:03.260 --> 01:01:06.080
Cause it's like, I've tried to kind of take a step back

1101
01:01:06.080 --> 01:01:09.180
in the leading, cause I thought that was the coaching.

1102
01:01:09.540 --> 01:01:12.980
But I think, you know, I think maybe it's just more

1103
01:01:12.980 --> 01:01:15.300
like the planning, that's, it's not.

1104
01:01:15.780 --> 01:01:17.420
Listen, you guys, we want reciprocation.

1105
01:01:17.620 --> 01:01:18.720
We want both people.

1106
01:01:18.720 --> 01:01:21.400
You can't have minimal effort from the man or the woman.

1107
01:01:21.860 --> 01:01:24.160
We have to be sharing effort.

1108
01:01:24.480 --> 01:01:26.540
Can I tell you though, I've been married for 18 years

1109
01:01:26.540 --> 01:01:28.780
and I'm the social director of my husband and ours

1110
01:01:28.780 --> 01:01:29.640
on our lives.

1111
01:01:29.820 --> 01:01:32.940
And if in my life, if I didn't plan the things

1112
01:01:32.940 --> 01:01:35.080
and if I didn't tell him to put it on the calendar,

1113
01:01:35.180 --> 01:01:36.780
then he would be a hermit crab.

1114
01:01:37.140 --> 01:01:38.440
He would not be going anywhere.

1115
01:01:38.560 --> 01:01:39.520
He would not be doing anything.

1116
01:01:39.520 --> 01:01:42.200
And that is the majority of men, right?

1117
01:01:42.400 --> 01:01:45.220
The feminine is the more social aspect usually.

1118
01:01:45.380 --> 01:01:47.080
Now there are always exceptions to the rule,

1119
01:01:47.160 --> 01:01:50.080
but for the most part, you don't expect a man

1120
01:01:50.080 --> 01:01:52.260
to be the one that's going to plan all the romantic dates

1121
01:01:52.260 --> 01:01:52.920
after you're married.

1122
01:01:53.100 --> 01:01:54.920
You guys have to do this together.

1123
01:01:55.720 --> 01:01:58.120
Yeah, that sounds like what's happening here.

1124
01:01:58.540 --> 01:01:59.980
So I appreciate that.

1125
01:02:00.020 --> 01:02:02.700
Cause then it does sound like more that I can

1126
01:02:03.760 --> 01:02:06.880
kind of make that more obvious, you know,

1127
01:02:06.880 --> 01:02:09.800
say what I'm looking for and, you know,

1128
01:02:09.800 --> 01:02:11.600
if he's not into that, then I move on,

1129
01:02:12.500 --> 01:02:14.560
but, you know, kind of make that note.

1130
01:02:15.200 --> 01:02:18.080
My other question then was too, like, I know,

1131
01:02:18.380 --> 01:02:20.200
especially Renee, you were talking about like

1132
01:02:20.300 --> 01:02:23.460
bringing them into community and bringing them

1133
01:02:23.460 --> 01:02:24.620
around your friends and stuff.

1134
01:02:24.620 --> 01:02:26.780
Like, at what point do you do that?

1135
01:02:29.240 --> 01:02:33.000
When it was clear that Brian was interested in me,

1136
01:02:33.100 --> 01:02:36.020
when it was clear he was pursuing me and he wanted,

1137
01:02:36.160 --> 01:02:38.460
you know, like he wanted to make it exclusive,

1138
01:02:39.560 --> 01:02:42.040
that's when I started bringing people into it.

1139
01:02:42.100 --> 01:02:45.180
So for us, just because at the time when I first met him

1140
01:02:45.180 --> 01:02:47.420
in our vacation schedules, it was like a month.

1141
01:02:47.460 --> 01:02:51.580
Like it was probably four to five weeks in,

1142
01:02:52.200 --> 01:02:55.740
maybe six weeks in that once he started coming here

1143
01:02:55.940 --> 01:02:57.080
consistently every weekend,

1144
01:02:57.140 --> 01:02:59.820
cause he was out of town at the time I started having,

1145
01:03:00.300 --> 01:03:01.960
so if we were going to have two dates on a weekend,

1146
01:03:02.080 --> 01:03:04.120
one of those was always with somebody else.

1147
01:03:05.320 --> 01:03:09.220
And so that's when I, I wouldn't necessarily do it

1148
01:03:09.220 --> 01:03:13.820
when I don't even know if we're in, you know, so to speak.

1149
01:03:13.820 --> 01:03:16.360
So you want to make sure like, hey, I really like this.

1150
01:03:16.400 --> 01:03:18.540
I like this guy and I think he likes me too.

1151
01:03:18.540 --> 01:03:20.260
And I think he's pursuing me.

1152
01:03:20.260 --> 01:03:21.620
I don't know, that's just for me,

1153
01:03:21.660 --> 01:03:23.960
because I know my family kind of got tired of me

1154
01:03:23.960 --> 01:03:25.500
putting a lot of men in front of them.

1155
01:03:25.520 --> 01:03:27.560
They're like, okay, can you at least wait

1156
01:03:27.560 --> 01:03:29.600
till you're like past date number four?

1157
01:03:29.600 --> 01:03:30.960
Cause we're getting really confused.

1158
01:03:32.560 --> 01:03:33.800
And so that was like our,

1159
01:03:33.940 --> 01:03:36.360
kind of the joke was I would get past date number four.

1160
01:03:36.400 --> 01:03:38.140
And if I felt like I really liked a guy

1161
01:03:38.140 --> 01:03:39.400
and he really liked me,

1162
01:03:41.040 --> 01:03:44.500
then I would start putting them in front of somebody

1163
01:03:44.540 --> 01:03:47.020
and not be, and I wouldn't say like, okay, Brian,

1164
01:03:47.020 --> 01:03:49.340
I'm going to test you and put you in front of this couple.

1165
01:03:49.340 --> 01:03:51.380
It was more like, hey, you know what?

1166
01:03:51.900 --> 01:03:54.040
You know, I want to make sure that, you know,

1167
01:03:54.040 --> 01:03:55.060
like we have some,

1168
01:03:55.300 --> 01:03:57.040
like we can build some friendships with some folks.

1169
01:03:57.040 --> 01:03:59.220
And so, you know, do you mind, you know,

1170
01:03:59.300 --> 01:04:00.420
having dinner with other people?

1171
01:04:00.540 --> 01:04:02.480
And, you know, he was really open to it.

1172
01:04:02.700 --> 01:04:06.540
But like Jed said too, it's finding that right balance.

1173
01:04:06.540 --> 01:04:08.520
Like Jackie's saying it's a dance and I do,

1174
01:04:08.640 --> 01:04:09.880
like you want to match that energy.

1175
01:04:09.940 --> 01:04:11.660
You want to make sure that those guys and girls

1176
01:04:11.660 --> 01:04:13.520
know that we like them.

1177
01:04:13.940 --> 01:04:15.480
But kind of like what Jed said,

1178
01:04:15.540 --> 01:04:18.080
and I bet you Stacey would say the same thing about Clayton.

1179
01:04:18.080 --> 01:04:21.900
When a guy likes you or a girl likes you, you know.

1180
01:04:23.640 --> 01:04:24.340
And you know.

1181
01:04:25.040 --> 01:04:29.300
And once you feel the no, you're like, oh my gosh,

1182
01:04:29.320 --> 01:04:32.500
I wasted so much time in the past worried.

1183
01:04:32.680 --> 01:04:33.480
Did he like me?

1184
01:04:33.500 --> 01:04:34.300
Did he not like me?

1185
01:04:34.340 --> 01:04:34.980
Did she like me?

1186
01:04:35.060 --> 01:04:35.980
Did she not like me?

1187
01:04:36.560 --> 01:04:38.660
Most of the time, you'll know.

1188
01:04:39.340 --> 01:04:39.660
And you'll-

1189
01:04:39.660 --> 01:04:41.820
And that is a thousand percent true,

1190
01:04:42.820 --> 01:04:45.740
but you got to give them a chance to like you.

1191
01:04:45.780 --> 01:04:46.260
Yeah.

1192
01:04:46.260 --> 01:04:47.880
Because I'm just going to tell you right now,

1193
01:04:47.880 --> 01:04:51.300
the only two people that know quickly are,

1194
01:04:51.300 --> 01:04:52.240
or not know quickly,

1195
01:04:52.440 --> 01:04:54.040
but will show you that they like you quickly

1196
01:04:54.040 --> 01:04:56.420
are anxious attachers, which were, you know.

1197
01:04:56.680 --> 01:04:56.720
Yeah.

1198
01:04:57.220 --> 01:04:58.860
The anxious attachers are not bad people.

1199
01:04:59.080 --> 01:04:59.920
You could end up married.

1200
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:00.760
It's okay.

1201
01:05:00.900 --> 01:05:02.660
That's just the way that they attach at the beginning.

1202
01:05:03.180 --> 01:05:03.500
Yep.

1203
01:05:03.500 --> 01:05:03.820
Okay.

1204
01:05:03.820 --> 01:05:04.580
It's not love bomb.

1205
01:05:04.640 --> 01:05:05.680
They're not a narcissist.

1206
01:05:05.980 --> 01:05:09.220
People can be healthy and still have more of an anxious attachment.

1207
01:05:09.420 --> 01:05:10.780
You'll read about that in the book too.

1208
01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:12.680
And then secure attachers.

1209
01:05:13.020 --> 01:05:17.760
Secure attachers, they just kind of know what they want and they're not afraid to make a

1210
01:05:18.280 --> 01:05:18.920
decision and choices.

1211
01:05:19.440 --> 01:05:24.180
Choices come easier to these people and they also, you know, they're not perfect people

1212
01:05:24.180 --> 01:05:30.260
but they have a healthier time getting to know people because they're not afraid of

1213
01:05:30.260 --> 01:05:30.580
rejection.

1214
01:05:31.200 --> 01:05:31.960
They're able to share.

1215
01:05:32.200 --> 01:05:33.900
They're usually pretty emotionally mature.

1216
01:05:34.900 --> 01:05:39.860
And then avoidant attachers are the ones that, you know, these people, you know, once again,

1217
01:05:39.860 --> 01:05:41.100
you could end up married to them.

1218
01:05:41.240 --> 01:05:42.160
I'm an avoidant attacher.

1219
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:43.360
You could end up married to one of them.

1220
01:05:43.420 --> 01:05:44.780
They're not horrible evil people.

1221
01:05:45.540 --> 01:05:49.740
You have to understand this is layered and there's lots of nuances to attachment style.

1222
01:05:49.800 --> 01:05:51.580
It's not, it's a hybrid of things.

1223
01:05:51.580 --> 01:05:56.480
You know, because someone's attachment style is one of these three that I just mentioned

1224
01:05:56.480 --> 01:06:00.760
or a disordered attachment doesn't mean that they're not a good mate or they couldn't be

1225
01:06:00.760 --> 01:06:04.060
a good partner as long as they have other things going on.

1226
01:06:04.060 --> 01:06:08.320
Now, if you have an avoidant that's also a narcissist, that's also a disordered attacher

1227
01:06:08.320 --> 01:06:11.320
of love bomber, yeah, that's bad.

1228
01:06:11.360 --> 01:06:12.420
That's a bad combination.

1229
01:06:12.540 --> 01:06:13.640
That's three strikes you're out.

1230
01:06:15.220 --> 01:06:19.020
But at the beginning when you're first getting to know someone, especially long distance,

1231
01:06:19.020 --> 01:06:21.240
there's all kinds of things that can come into play.

1232
01:06:22.080 --> 01:06:25.580
So it's really important that you don't look for what you want to see.

1233
01:06:25.780 --> 01:06:27.400
You actually look for what's there.

1234
01:06:27.560 --> 01:06:31.480
And that's why the coaching is so important, you guys, because you might be looking for

1235
01:06:31.480 --> 01:06:35.700
what you want to see instead of what's really there because you'd think, oh, someone knows

1236
01:06:35.700 --> 01:06:38.120
whether they like me or not, not always.

1237
01:06:38.300 --> 01:06:42.760
You might be reading the signs all the way wrong because you want to believe that they

1238
01:06:42.760 --> 01:06:43.280
like you.

1239
01:06:43.940 --> 01:06:49.740
And or they might be rushing in because they think they like you and things are going way

1240
01:06:49.740 --> 01:06:52.560
too fast and you guys are headed for a massive crash.

1241
01:06:52.700 --> 01:06:58.340
And so please show up for coaching, especially in 2026, because these are the things that

1242
01:06:58.340 --> 01:07:01.120
the coaches are going to get more in-depth in.

1243
01:07:02.900 --> 01:07:03.880
Does that help?

1244
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:05.160
Do you feel good, Stace?

1245
01:07:05.640 --> 01:07:07.080
Yes, that helps for sure.

1246
01:07:07.240 --> 01:07:08.280
Thanks y'all so much.

1247
01:07:08.380 --> 01:07:08.920
You bet.

1248
01:07:09.140 --> 01:07:10.180
You bet.

1249
01:07:10.420 --> 01:07:11.500
David, right.

1250
01:07:11.500 --> 01:07:15.820
I think you said you had sent in a question to one of the coaches.

1251
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:18.300
So I don't have that in front of me.

1252
01:07:18.600 --> 01:07:24.680
I'm going to pin you and then you can go ahead and just tell us what's the status, what's

1253
01:07:24.680 --> 01:07:26.460
the story and we'll jump in.

1254
01:07:27.800 --> 01:07:28.240
Okay.

1255
01:07:28.240 --> 01:07:29.200
Are you ready for me?

1256
01:07:29.220 --> 01:07:29.500
Yep.

1257
01:07:30.140 --> 01:07:30.580
Yeah.

1258
01:07:30.580 --> 01:07:33.300
So I sent it into the admin and they said they got it.

1259
01:07:34.200 --> 01:07:37.000
So I sent it to Reagan, but that's okay.

1260
01:07:37.980 --> 01:07:38.660
It's okay.

1261
01:07:38.660 --> 01:07:39.240
It's in the system.

1262
01:07:39.760 --> 01:07:46.980
So I had a really, I had a breakdown last week and it was horrible.

1263
01:07:48.840 --> 01:07:53.100
And I think it was my fault, but I trusted the wrong person.

1264
01:07:53.940 --> 01:07:58.260
So I had been talking to someone who struggled with being fearful avoidant.

1265
01:07:58.680 --> 01:08:01.920
They're in this community and I've known this person for a while.

1266
01:08:02.200 --> 01:08:07.940
And so for about two months, you know, they wanted me to know like, okay, like why I swiped

1267
01:08:07.940 --> 01:08:10.380
with them in a dating site, why are you swiping me on a dating site?

1268
01:08:10.480 --> 01:08:11.520
And then they kind of blew me off.

1269
01:08:11.560 --> 01:08:15.920
And then we had a half hour reconnect chat on the phone.

1270
01:08:15.920 --> 01:08:19.380
And then this person just basically said, like, I've never felt this way about anybody.

1271
01:08:19.399 --> 01:08:20.680
I really, really like you.

1272
01:08:20.740 --> 01:08:23.359
And in my head, I'm like, oh, that's way too soon.

1273
01:08:23.399 --> 01:08:24.380
This is going to crash.

1274
01:08:25.420 --> 01:08:30.920
And so then I just was kind of like playing it cool, playing it just like just being level

1275
01:08:30.920 --> 01:08:34.979
playing field and just kind of was like, Hey, let's maybe just low pressure.

1276
01:08:35.340 --> 01:08:36.920
Let's go for a walk, you know?

1277
01:08:36.920 --> 01:08:40.960
And so I just text her and say, Hey, like, are you up for like a 10 minute phone call

1278
01:08:40.960 --> 01:08:42.500
where we can kind of talk about this?

1279
01:08:42.960 --> 01:08:46.000
And the girl said, Well, I'm only going to talk to you if it's about a date.

1280
01:08:46.779 --> 01:08:50.560
So if it's about you and I dating, and you want to discuss that, then yes, then if not,

1281
01:08:50.700 --> 01:08:51.520
no, I'm not interested.

1282
01:08:51.660 --> 01:08:52.580
And I said, Okay.

1283
01:08:53.540 --> 01:08:58.439
So we had a 15 minute and I'd had a terrible week, I had a client pass away while I was

1284
01:08:58.439 --> 01:08:58.920
on shift.

1285
01:08:58.920 --> 01:08:59.819
I'm a social worker.

1286
01:09:00.319 --> 01:09:02.279
I had had three funerals that week.

1287
01:09:02.720 --> 01:09:05.460
And I was actually leaving a funeral when I was talking to her.

1288
01:09:05.460 --> 01:09:06.300
And I let her know that.

1289
01:09:06.479 --> 01:09:08.120
And I said, Look, I did a margin check.

1290
01:09:08.260 --> 01:09:09.600
I have this much energy left.

1291
01:09:09.800 --> 01:09:15.100
I said, like, I and she was like, Well, I really want you to defend as to why you're

1292
01:09:15.740 --> 01:09:16.680
worthy of dating me.

1293
01:09:16.899 --> 01:09:18.340
Are you worthy of my time?

1294
01:09:18.920 --> 01:09:22.640
You know, I'm a woman in this program and like, Are you worthy of me?

1295
01:09:23.399 --> 01:09:26.880
And and I was like, Okay, well, I only have a little bit of energy to do that.

1296
01:09:27.899 --> 01:09:31.819
So are you going to and I said, Are you going to respect I said, I will do what you need

1297
01:09:31.819 --> 01:09:35.640
me to, but I need you to not text me a massive text.

1298
01:09:36.080 --> 01:09:40.399
That's gonna say, Hey, I don't like you, you're not good enough, because I get those texts

1299
01:09:40.399 --> 01:09:40.700
from her.

1300
01:09:40.700 --> 01:09:41.740
And I said, Look, I can't.

1301
01:09:42.080 --> 01:09:42.760
I can't do that.

1302
01:09:42.760 --> 01:09:43.279
This week.

1303
01:09:43.640 --> 01:09:45.540
I have zero margin for that.

1304
01:09:45.660 --> 01:09:48.340
And she said, I promise you, I will not send you that text.

1305
01:09:48.960 --> 01:09:53.359
So she extended the call from 15 minutes to an hour, I kept saying, Okay, now we're at

1306
01:09:53.359 --> 01:09:53.620
half hour.

1307
01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:55.280
She's like, No, no, we have to keep talking.

1308
01:09:55.300 --> 01:09:56.520
Now we're at 45 minutes.

1309
01:09:57.140 --> 01:09:58.600
Okay, now we're at an hour.

1310
01:09:58.600 --> 01:09:59.980
And I had to cut it off at an hour.

1311
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.980
And she just was like, you know, like you got to give me the time and the space for

1312
01:10:04.980 --> 01:10:05.160
this.

1313
01:10:05.200 --> 01:10:05.860
And I said, okay.

1314
01:10:06.220 --> 01:10:07.440
But it was a resource.

1315
01:10:07.820 --> 01:10:09.180
The whole purpose.

1316
01:10:09.320 --> 01:10:12.120
So let me ask you, David, why did you feel like you needed to keep doing this?

1317
01:10:12.520 --> 01:10:17.740
Like why didn't you feel like you needed to like honor your boundary that you, especially

1318
01:10:17.740 --> 01:10:20.980
that you had just come from a funeral or something and just to be able to say, Hey, you know

1319
01:10:20.980 --> 01:10:21.140
what?

1320
01:10:21.920 --> 01:10:23.860
I, I committed to like 15 minutes.

1321
01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:25.940
Like I already told you I didn't have the bandwidth.

1322
01:10:26.020 --> 01:10:28.100
I'm just curious what made you stay in the game.

1323
01:10:29.700 --> 01:10:32.260
Yeah, that's where we'll hit it.

1324
01:10:32.560 --> 01:10:35.020
So for me, it was, it was a, it was a resource.

1325
01:10:35.140 --> 01:10:37.120
It was like a worthiness filter, right?

1326
01:10:37.480 --> 01:10:39.060
Like Hey, I'm in the program.

1327
01:10:39.120 --> 01:10:39.960
I'm doing the work.

1328
01:10:40.060 --> 01:10:40.860
Look, I'm good enough.

1329
01:10:41.220 --> 01:10:44.460
You know, I wasn't good enough for you before, but look at me now.

1330
01:10:44.460 --> 01:10:45.320
I'm good enough.

1331
01:10:45.740 --> 01:10:48.940
So that's, that was on my, my fault for sure.

1332
01:10:49.040 --> 01:10:51.620
But what was happening was, is this is a resource at drain.

1333
01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:56.700
This is someone who not a bad person, but they saw me as a secure resource.

1334
01:10:56.700 --> 01:10:59.480
Like, okay, I need all of this right now.

1335
01:10:59.840 --> 01:11:02.220
And then in the end, my boundaries weren't respected.

1336
01:11:02.660 --> 01:11:09.120
And when she sent me a massive text saying, Hey, you know, like basically like, Hey, thanks

1337
01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:10.240
for doing all these things for me.

1338
01:11:10.260 --> 01:11:14.380
But really like, I want someone more than you, that you're not good enough.

1339
01:11:15.520 --> 01:11:18.980
I just said like, Hey, may the Lord bless you and keep you, may his face shine upon

1340
01:11:18.980 --> 01:11:19.240
you.

1341
01:11:19.320 --> 01:11:23.860
And she, but I, I, she said, you know, I know you asked me not to text you, but I'm going

1342
01:11:23.860 --> 01:11:24.680
to text you anyways.

1343
01:11:24.680 --> 01:11:25.540
Cause that's what I need.

1344
01:11:27.100 --> 01:11:28.660
And I was like, okay.

1345
01:11:29.660 --> 01:11:36.600
And so, and then I, I shut down, like I blessed her, but like I was waking up every night

1346
01:11:36.460 --> 01:11:40.020
screaming, fever, vomiting for a whole week.

1347
01:11:40.320 --> 01:11:48.160
Just like total, like it was like the levy broke and yeah, it was not good.

1348
01:11:48.820 --> 01:11:50.920
And I totally had a disassociated episode.

1349
01:11:51.340 --> 01:11:53.540
Like it was really not good.

1350
01:11:54.680 --> 01:11:57.640
And the only thing that kind of brought me back was just like speaking the word of Jesus

1351
01:11:57.640 --> 01:11:59.080
and knowing who I am in Christ.

1352
01:11:59.140 --> 01:12:03.440
And it's just saying, Hey, you know what, by my own words, I said to her, I said, look,

1353
01:12:04.000 --> 01:12:07.940
like I told her where the, where the switch was and I shouldn't have done that.

1354
01:12:07.960 --> 01:12:10.900
And the second thing is, is that, okay, Jesus, bring me back.

1355
01:12:10.940 --> 01:12:15.400
And so God brought me back to truth, but yeah, it wasn't good.

1356
01:12:16.400 --> 01:12:20.300
Well, David, I'm so sorry that you experienced that.

1357
01:12:21.600 --> 01:12:23.260
I'm sorry that your boundaries were busted.

1358
01:12:24.420 --> 01:12:31.360
And I hate that not only that you had to experience it, but that it triggered this thing, but

1359
01:12:31.360 --> 01:12:39.340
because it triggered this thing, this cascading impact on you, and because you didn't stand

1360
01:12:39.340 --> 01:12:43.080
firm in your boundary, like, I'm just curious.

1361
01:12:43.080 --> 01:12:46.760
I mean, this is like the heartwork person in me would go, like, when was the first time

1362
01:12:47.160 --> 01:12:52.600
that you tried to declare your boundaries and somebody busted past them and you didn't

1363
01:12:52.600 --> 01:12:53.920
hold them to them?

1364
01:12:57.280 --> 01:13:01.280
Because I know who you're talking, I mean, I'm assuming this is the person you had dated

1365
01:13:01.320 --> 01:13:03.300
previously that, you know, I know about.

1366
01:13:03.720 --> 01:13:04.300
Oh, you know.

1367
01:13:04.660 --> 01:13:05.120
Yeah.

1368
01:13:05.160 --> 01:13:12.320
And so I would just say, I mean, you always have the invitation, the option to say no.

1369
01:13:12.920 --> 01:13:18.160
Like, you guys, just because we're all in this program doesn't mean we owe anybody anything.

1370
01:13:18.280 --> 01:13:25.480
If you're not being kind, everybody has the opportunity to say, you know what, my answer's

1371
01:13:25.480 --> 01:13:30.340
no and I respectfully decline to keep this conversation going and I wish you nothing

1372
01:13:30.340 --> 01:13:31.540
but the best, period.

1373
01:13:31.620 --> 01:13:35.620
And if it means that you have to block her number afterwards and you block her number,

1374
01:13:35.620 --> 01:13:42.900
like, we don't have to hold space for someone else's unhealth, even if it's somebody that's

1375
01:13:42.900 --> 01:13:43.520
in the program.

1376
01:13:43.920 --> 01:13:45.100
That's not fair.

1377
01:13:45.460 --> 01:13:54.840
But for you, Dave, I've just gotten to know you so well and I'm just curious why you held

1378
01:13:54.840 --> 01:14:00.280
space for as long as you did, because I think there's an opportunity for your own healing,

1379
01:14:00.460 --> 01:14:04.800
like, which she did sucked, but I feel like there's a real opportunity for you to get

1380
01:14:04.800 --> 01:14:09.920
some breakthrough because you allowed her to kind of bust through a few times in a few

1381
01:14:09.920 --> 01:14:11.240
different ways your boundaries.

1382
01:14:12.440 --> 01:14:20.040
And it also, like, I'm wondering what really caused all of this stuff, because I hate that

1383
01:14:20.120 --> 01:14:20.760
you spiraled.

1384
01:14:21.020 --> 01:14:24.060
Like, that makes me so aggrieved for you that you spiraled.

1385
01:14:25.200 --> 01:14:29.980
And so that tells me something got triggered that God still wants healing for you.

1386
01:14:30.440 --> 01:14:30.980
Mm hmm.

1387
01:14:31.160 --> 01:14:35.300
So one, my mom asked me the same thing, almost word for word this morning.

1388
01:14:35.380 --> 01:14:40.180
She said, she said, you're smart, bub, like, you already know, you figured this whole thing

1389
01:14:40.180 --> 01:14:40.540
out.

1390
01:14:41.080 --> 01:14:44.500
But she's like, but why are you giving this person permission when you don't give anyone

1391
01:14:44.500 --> 01:14:45.160
else permission?

1392
01:14:45.760 --> 01:14:49.580
You know, like, you know who you are in Christ, you set your boundaries and yet you keep letting

1393
01:14:49.580 --> 01:14:51.100
this girl walk all over them.

1394
01:14:51.120 --> 01:14:51.880
Why is that?

1395
01:14:52.160 --> 01:14:55.520
And I think part of that is rooted and I was abused.

1396
01:14:55.520 --> 01:14:59.980
Like, I was in a relationship for seven years where the girl beat the shit out of me.

1397
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.040
out of me. Like, it was bad, like put bullets under my pillow, like bad, bad, bad. And sorry,

1398
01:15:07.100 --> 01:15:10.880
trigger warning. I'm not trying to trigger anybody. I apologize. So please give me some

1399
01:15:10.640 --> 01:15:16.360
grace. But, and her parents was always like, are you worthy enough for us? And it was just

1400
01:15:16.360 --> 01:15:21.080
a resource drain. It was they were trying to draw from my secure energy. But it was

1401
01:15:21.080 --> 01:15:26.920
always in the guise of, are you good enough? Are you good enough? Are you good enough for

1402
01:15:26.920 --> 01:15:32.080
me? And so I think, like, she was just kind of saying, like, hey, like, I'm in Jackie

1403
01:15:32.100 --> 01:15:38.700
Dorman's program. I'm a top class woman to get me, you got to prove. And you and I both

1404
01:15:38.780 --> 01:15:43.660
know that's bullshit. That's bullshit. But sorry, but you know what?

1405
01:15:43.840 --> 01:15:50.140
So what could be an answer you can have ready? For the next time anybody would remotely say

1406
01:15:50.140 --> 01:15:55.440
something like this to you? Like, what could be? What could be an answer you could have

1407
01:15:55.440 --> 01:16:00.020
in your back pocket? Like looking back now, what's the healthiest answer you can respond

1408
01:16:00.020 --> 01:16:00.360
with?

1409
01:16:01.300 --> 01:16:04.080
Yeah, sorry. I apologize for cursing, not trying to set anybody off.

1410
01:16:04.140 --> 01:16:04.560
No, no, no. You're good.

1411
01:16:05.140 --> 01:16:11.380
So I think for me, my answer is, and I'd already wrote this today, working with the Lord, is

1412
01:16:11.380 --> 01:16:16.660
that I know who I am in Christ. And he is always the one that calls me worthy. And I

1413
01:16:16.660 --> 01:16:20.700
don't have to prove myself to anybody. And if they are the right one, they're already

1414
01:16:20.700 --> 01:16:24.360
going to know who I am in Jesus, because I'm going to be leading, and I'm leading in who

1415
01:16:24.360 --> 01:16:30.800
I am and how God made me to be. Right? And so I don't, I should never have to prove who

1416
01:16:31.000 --> 01:16:37.400
I am. And that should never come at the cost of my own clarity and peace of mind and knowing

1417
01:16:37.400 --> 01:16:38.560
who I am in Jesus.

1418
01:16:38.800 --> 01:16:39.280
Yeah.

1419
01:16:39.280 --> 01:16:41.100
All right. Let me jump in here for a sec.

1420
01:16:41.240 --> 01:16:42.640
I'm so glad. Please do, Jackie.

1421
01:16:43.040 --> 01:16:47.500
Okay. So first of all, you guys, we have a lot of, whether someone invited you to the

1422
01:16:47.500 --> 01:16:52.280
program or you just met them here, we do have a lot of relationships, not a lot, but we

1423
01:16:52.480 --> 01:16:56.700
do have relationships in the program that don't work out. We do have a lot that work

1424
01:16:56.700 --> 01:17:01.680
out and they get married. That's great too. But so let's make sure that we know there's

1425
01:17:01.700 --> 01:17:04.020
two sides to every story. All right?

1426
01:17:04.080 --> 01:17:04.480
Absolutely.

1427
01:17:04.480 --> 01:17:08.080
We have no idea who this person is and it doesn't matter. We don't need to know. But

1428
01:17:08.080 --> 01:17:12.080
I'm just saying, you know, if anyone is figuring it out because they know both of you or they

1429
01:17:12.080 --> 01:17:15.900
just know whatever, we just want to make sure that we're being fair and saying, hey, there's

1430
01:17:15.900 --> 01:17:21.100
two sides to every story. Because like Renee said, we have to look and see if everything

1431
01:17:21.100 --> 01:17:24.640
that we share is a hundred percent accurate and we're not seeing it through a trauma filter.

1432
01:17:24.820 --> 01:17:29.400
We're not seeing it through a victim filter. If it's a hundred percent accurate, what we're

1433
01:17:29.400 --> 01:17:35.560
describing has happened in these broken relationships, then we have to ask ourselves, why, you know,

1434
01:17:35.560 --> 01:17:40.540
why did I choose this? Right? It's still about us choosing. It's not about victim shaming.

1435
01:17:40.680 --> 01:17:45.420
Okay. We can be victimized for sure, but we don't want to be victimized over and over

1436
01:17:45.420 --> 01:17:50.360
again. And in order to help that, prevent that, we have to own our side of the street.

1437
01:17:50.960 --> 01:17:54.600
We have to own our side of the street and we have to dig in. And I love your answer,

1438
01:17:54.840 --> 01:17:58.200
David. You know, you got to be whole in Christ and we do have to be whole in Christ. But

1439
01:17:58.200 --> 01:18:05.480
here's the thing. None of you have seen Jesus. All right. Except one place through other

1440
01:18:05.460 --> 01:18:10.200
people. None of you have seen Jesus. I mean, he might appear to you in a dream or vision

1441
01:18:10.200 --> 01:18:15.480
or something, but we need Jesus with skin on it. And that's why relationships so important.

1442
01:18:15.520 --> 01:18:19.880
And that's why I've been hitting hard. Like Renee said, on my Instagram, I've been hitting

1443
01:18:19.880 --> 01:18:25.700
hard this idea that God is enough for us, that Christ is enough for us. God himself

1444
01:18:25.700 --> 01:18:32.340
said no to that. He's the one that said we need to exist in like community, just like

1445
01:18:32.340 --> 01:18:37.120
he exists, father, son, and Holy spirit in light community. We need to exist in light

1446
01:18:37.120 --> 01:18:41.740
community. Why? Because this is how we're matured. So David, the only way that you're

1447
01:18:41.740 --> 01:18:47.580
ever going to really be whole in Christ is to be healed in family. And I really want

1448
01:18:47.580 --> 01:18:50.900
to just encourage you. That's one of our mottos here, whole in Christ, complete in

1449
01:18:50.900 --> 01:18:55.980
marriage, healed in family. I want to encourage you to show up here, keep showing up here,

1450
01:18:55.980 --> 01:19:02.600
but also in proximity, in community where you can, like I did with Heidi, I put my little

1451
01:19:02.600 --> 01:19:09.500
head, my hands on her little feet. You know, I want you to really prioritize in 2026, really

1452
01:19:09.700 --> 01:19:15.280
good in-person community that can call you up and call you out, continue to tell you

1453
01:19:15.280 --> 01:19:22.100
who you are in Christ, continue to accept you, continue to refine you. Iron sharpens

1454
01:19:22.100 --> 01:19:26.920
iron, continue to do those things because that is going to be what helps you walk out

1455
01:19:26.920 --> 01:19:29.780
your hard work so that this doesn't happen again.

1456
01:19:31.320 --> 01:19:40.800
Yeah, for sure. And I 100% agree with you. I think, yeah, that like we're not our, like

1457
01:19:40.800 --> 01:19:44.860
our wiring doesn't, doesn't not mean we don't love Jesus. It doesn't mean we're not stride

1458
01:19:44.860 --> 01:19:49.200
like, doesn't mean we're not like walking with the Lord, right? It's just wiring. And

1459
01:19:49.200 --> 01:19:53.500
so I think as the Lord corrects us and teaches us, you're right. I mean, I'm not perfect

1460
01:19:53.500 --> 01:19:57.420
either, not at all. And I've never, I've never claimed to be, but, but what I know is, is

1461
01:19:57.420 --> 01:19:58.800
I know who I am in Jesus.

1462
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.220
It's very difficult for us to walk with Jesus without walking with others.

1463
01:20:03.380 --> 01:20:05.720
Even Paul said, follow me as I follow Christ.

1464
01:20:06.340 --> 01:20:10.840
I think that we have to, I think that this is one of the missing components to the revival

1465
01:20:10.840 --> 01:20:11.880
stream preaching.

1466
01:20:12.960 --> 01:20:17.020
Different denominations get it differently, but this whole charismatic non-denominational

1467
01:20:17.160 --> 01:20:22.540
movement tries to make people feel like they should be whole in Christ on their own without,

1468
01:20:22.680 --> 01:20:28.640
you know, Christ being shown to them and their wholeness coming from human relationship.

1469
01:20:29.160 --> 01:20:32.080
Please friends, that is the model of the Bible.

1470
01:20:32.860 --> 01:20:34.000
It is the model of the Bible.

1471
01:20:34.320 --> 01:20:36.380
You will not get to wholeness in Christ on your own.

1472
01:20:36.720 --> 01:20:38.320
You're not going to just get zapped from heaven.

1473
01:20:38.700 --> 01:20:40.180
I don't care how long you pray.

1474
01:20:40.520 --> 01:20:41.640
I don't care if you sign up the carpet.

1475
01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:45.160
I don't care if you're in 24 seven prayer movements where all you're doing is praying

1476
01:20:45.280 --> 01:20:46.240
and worshiping.

1477
01:20:46.280 --> 01:20:53.980
You're going to get spiritually dysmorphia.

1478
01:20:54.040 --> 01:20:56.800
You're going to get spiritual dysmorphia and stuff like that.

1479
01:20:56.800 --> 01:21:00.820
If you do not have the human component in it as well.

1480
01:21:01.160 --> 01:21:03.980
So I just wanted to tell you all of that.

1481
01:21:05.560 --> 01:21:06.460
That was good.

1482
01:21:06.740 --> 01:21:07.980
That was good stuff.

1483
01:21:08.940 --> 01:21:09.820
We're here with you, David.

1484
01:21:10.220 --> 01:21:11.080
You got this buddy.

1485
01:21:11.840 --> 01:21:12.500
Thanks, Risa.

1486
01:21:14.080 --> 01:21:14.320
You bet.

1487
01:21:14.920 --> 01:21:16.020
Denise, you have your hand raised.

1488
01:21:16.160 --> 01:21:20.720
Did you actually have a love seat question for us or is it raised from something before?

1489
01:21:22.660 --> 01:21:25.320
No, I had one, but I think Hunter was before me.

1490
01:21:27.440 --> 01:21:30.160
Hunter, do you have a dating question for us?

1491
01:21:32.620 --> 01:21:33.520
You're muted though.

1492
01:21:33.580 --> 01:21:33.860
Yeah.

1493
01:21:33.860 --> 01:21:38.620
It was about my trip and how I was interacting with women in my age that went on the trip

1494
01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:39.600
with me.

1495
01:21:40.060 --> 01:21:41.240
Is there a question?

1496
01:21:41.900 --> 01:21:42.380
Yes.

1497
01:21:42.460 --> 01:21:43.040
Go ahead.

1498
01:21:43.140 --> 01:21:45.700
I was going to talk about how I went and how I interacted.

1499
01:21:45.840 --> 01:21:47.480
I want to see how did I do.

1500
01:21:48.040 --> 01:21:48.520
Okay.

1501
01:21:48.520 --> 01:21:49.240
Tell me a little bit.

1502
01:21:49.960 --> 01:21:53.400
Well, it's been months since I came back from the trip in the Mediterranean.

1503
01:21:54.060 --> 01:21:57.980
I was in a travel group from our church.

1504
01:21:58.380 --> 01:22:02.240
I saw there were women who were in my age group who aren't married.

1505
01:22:02.700 --> 01:22:07.220
Well, I don't see them married on the outside, but I've taken into consideration what I should

1506
01:22:07.220 --> 01:22:07.460
do.

1507
01:22:07.540 --> 01:22:11.280
I decided to try and hone my social skills and what I learned from the heart work here

1508
01:22:11.280 --> 01:22:12.520
and interact with them.

1509
01:22:12.600 --> 01:22:13.560
Where do I start?

1510
01:22:13.940 --> 01:22:16.960
I saw some ladies in the meeting and then I met the church to drive.

1511
01:22:17.920 --> 01:22:22.060
We met the church to drive and decided to talk and interact at a level one relationship

1512
01:22:22.060 --> 01:22:22.700
to the airport.

1513
01:22:22.700 --> 01:22:27.360
There I saw they were actually Christian women, the legit ones, not the fake ones looking

1514
01:22:27.360 --> 01:22:27.940
for a man.

1515
01:22:28.460 --> 01:22:31.640
Throughout the trip, I just saw what I wanted and what I would not do.

1516
01:22:32.000 --> 01:22:33.580
Think about how can I interact.

1517
01:22:34.040 --> 01:22:38.700
Think about in the past what people like or what you did like with people.

1518
01:22:39.020 --> 01:22:43.040
Try to apply that.

1519
01:22:44.040 --> 01:22:48.740
Throughout the trip, I thought about what I did not do is to be possessive.

1520
01:22:48.740 --> 01:22:53.840
When we went on tours, even in Maricos, they would go on their own and talk and then I

1521
01:22:53.840 --> 01:22:57.580
would not follow because I'm thinking, why am I wasting my time trying to pursue and

1522
01:22:58.440 --> 01:23:03.640
be possessive and make sure they aren't seeing someone trying to be intrusive question, not

1523
01:23:03.640 --> 01:23:05.820
even giving a sign that I'm hitting on them.

1524
01:23:06.380 --> 01:23:10.580
One of them I cussed and she got turned off.

1525
01:23:11.520 --> 01:23:13.200
But I don't beat myself up.

1526
01:23:13.380 --> 01:23:15.980
So think about it and say it was an honest mistake and move on.

1527
01:23:16.480 --> 01:23:22.160
At the hotel, I sat across from one who is cute and good looking but also a woman of

1528
01:23:22.160 --> 01:23:22.280
God.

1529
01:23:22.680 --> 01:23:28.620
I gave out the best version of myself.

1530
01:23:28.920 --> 01:23:32.840
She liked the fact that I refused to be defined by my special needs circumstance.

1531
01:23:33.180 --> 01:23:39.460
She saw it as attractive and respected me for it as a positive direction to find it

1532
01:23:39.460 --> 01:23:40.040
very fulfilling.

1533
01:23:40.280 --> 01:23:41.920
So I made a level two relationship.

1534
01:23:41.920 --> 01:23:45.700
But after the date, when we sat together and she went out to have a girl talk with her

1535
01:23:45.620 --> 01:23:48.720
girls, they became clear this may not go into level three relationship.

1536
01:23:49.080 --> 01:23:54.380
Later we boarded a cruise and when we got and then one I got to walk to her room, walked

1537
01:23:54.380 --> 01:23:56.720
her over to her room, like a guy would.

1538
01:23:57.180 --> 01:23:59.940
And then the other one woke me up just in time so we could go off to Ephesus.

1539
01:24:00.160 --> 01:24:04.020
When we got to Rhodes exploring the ruins of the fortress, the leader of our group and

1540
01:24:04.020 --> 01:24:09.000
her husband Esther, Esther and her husband John, they came to me and said, Hunter, that

1541
01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:12.040
was a great job, how you're handling, behaving well with them.

1542
01:24:12.040 --> 01:24:16.260
I was like, yeah, if they were going to be in a relationship, I would see signs by now.

1543
01:24:16.320 --> 01:24:20.180
But if they were in a relationship, seeing someone they would talk about unless they're

1544
01:24:20.180 --> 01:24:21.400
doing something in their girl talk.

1545
01:24:21.720 --> 01:24:27.120
But it looks like they're not, they just want to go out and meet and go around a lot.

1546
01:24:27.540 --> 01:24:29.700
Something that I think I should start doing more.

1547
01:24:31.420 --> 01:24:33.060
And then we got to Rhodes.

1548
01:24:33.700 --> 01:24:36.620
So as her husband came, he said, appreciate how well you behave.

1549
01:24:36.620 --> 01:24:39.540
I'm asking, not looking or trailing them to make it happen.

1550
01:24:39.600 --> 01:24:41.600
Instead I'm asking, why do I want to pursue them?

1551
01:24:41.600 --> 01:24:43.060
They aren't pursuing me either way.

1552
01:24:43.540 --> 01:24:46.860
She did say, Hunter, you don't want to be in a relationship for the sake, Esther did

1553
01:24:46.860 --> 01:24:49.600
tell me, you don't need to be in a relationship for the sake of it.

1554
01:24:49.840 --> 01:24:54.860
Plus there are women, if they are the woman of my life or spirit, a.k.a. spirit mate,

1555
01:24:54.940 --> 01:24:56.760
I'd see different behavior towards them.

1556
01:24:57.360 --> 01:24:59.360
Next up we went to Malta.

1557
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:08.480
Malta and half those sisters in Christ left to go back to the states and the rest of us stayed and we went on a trip to Malta.

1558
01:25:08.740 --> 01:25:16.920
One of them I made a remark saying, you made some kind of compliment to her, but she took it as a remark and got offended.

1559
01:25:17.640 --> 01:25:25.820
And I was like, well, some people make remarks to me, look at that, but I guess women are not like men who will take it more personally than me.

1560
01:25:25.820 --> 01:25:28.860
Next up, I met this widow who's 60.

1561
01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:32.380
Okay, well, for the sake of time, Hunter, this is great.

1562
01:25:32.420 --> 01:25:34.560
And I love that you're writing down your thoughts.

1563
01:25:34.680 --> 01:25:35.200
This is great.

1564
01:25:35.260 --> 01:25:38.000
This is a huge, this huge upgrade.

1565
01:25:38.460 --> 01:25:48.880
But why don't you just ask us about any of, it sounds like you were interacting really well, that you were being very self-aware about whether there was interest or not interest.

1566
01:25:49.220 --> 01:25:53.300
You were sharing things with people and showing people who you are.

1567
01:25:53.320 --> 01:25:55.040
I think that's all really wonderful.

1568
01:25:55.040 --> 01:26:02.380
Is there any, is there anyone on this trip that you thought it could escalate into a level two relationship?

1569
01:26:02.620 --> 01:26:05.040
Is there any question you want to ask us about a potential relationship?

1570
01:26:06.400 --> 01:26:09.440
Yeah, level three is the widow is coming to.

1571
01:26:09.880 --> 01:26:14.660
All right, let's go ahead and skip to that because we have six minutes left and there's one more person who needs to go.

1572
01:26:14.660 --> 01:26:15.240
All right.

1573
01:26:15.400 --> 01:26:16.380
All right, that's all.

1574
01:26:16.400 --> 01:26:18.380
We'll start with the men's group later.

1575
01:26:18.640 --> 01:26:19.340
Hard work.

1576
01:26:19.640 --> 01:26:21.000
Well, just tell us about the widow.

1577
01:26:21.080 --> 01:26:21.580
What happened?

1578
01:26:21.580 --> 01:26:27.340
Well, she was 60 and she really liked interacting and connected well with me.

1579
01:26:28.520 --> 01:26:29.860
We looked good for it.

1580
01:26:29.940 --> 01:26:31.140
She was walking with me.

1581
01:26:31.400 --> 01:26:34.820
We did some things with like, we sat on the bus together.

1582
01:26:35.140 --> 01:26:40.100
She got, we got to share, we got to find common grounds like matches and our upbringings.

1583
01:26:40.160 --> 01:26:42.420
We even got to, she sat with me.

1584
01:26:42.560 --> 01:26:48.040
We got to sit together at the restaurants, at the local restaurants, and she even paid for it when I insisted too.

1585
01:26:48.040 --> 01:26:53.440
And then she even talked about her ex-husband, I mean, her husband who was a devotee.

1586
01:26:53.500 --> 01:26:56.700
She had it about her husband who passed away from COVID.

1587
01:26:57.040 --> 01:26:58.540
Okay, so she's 60?

1588
01:26:59.040 --> 01:26:59.440
Yeah.

1589
01:26:59.700 --> 01:27:01.900
And how, can you remind us how old you are?

1590
01:27:02.420 --> 01:27:02.900
37.

1591
01:27:03.060 --> 01:27:17.760
But the thing is, I got a taste of, that was, that was the most intimate connection I've had because these are tastes of, I think these are tastes of, whatever happened with, these are ingredients I think I need if I'm to enter a level three relationship.

1592
01:27:17.760 --> 01:27:19.520
Yeah, no, absolutely.

1593
01:27:19.940 --> 01:27:20.380
Got a taste of it.

1594
01:27:20.380 --> 01:27:24.860
Do you feel like she was, do you feel like she was just like, you know, developing a friendship with you?

1595
01:27:24.880 --> 01:27:27.840
Or did you get the feeling that she was romantically interested in you?

1596
01:27:28.140 --> 01:27:30.600
More like a friendship pattern, but I think.

1597
01:27:31.240 --> 01:27:31.240


1598
01:27:31.240 --> 01:27:37.060
But, but at the same time, I didn't, as far as like, why are you doing, I asked her a question, why are you sticking around me?

1599
01:27:37.060 --> 01:27:39.800
Like, like, like a camp follower kind of person.

1600
01:27:40.020 --> 01:27:43.140
And she said, oh, I just, not good to be alone.

1601
01:27:43.140 --> 01:27:45.340
It's like, it's like, don't like being alone.

1602
01:27:45.460 --> 01:27:48.160
It's okay to be next, be with someone on the trip too.

1603
01:27:48.400 --> 01:27:49.300
Yeah, that's awesome.

1604
01:27:49.620 --> 01:27:52.000
So I figured, no, let's just get some experience.

1605
01:27:52.740 --> 01:27:54.160
Well, Hunter, you're doing great.

1606
01:27:54.160 --> 01:27:55.700
And you've come such a long way.

1607
01:27:55.740 --> 01:27:57.260
And I just want to praise you for that.

1608
01:27:57.740 --> 01:28:06.160
And, you know, I believe that 2026 is going to be a beautiful year of you meeting someone who sees how much effort and work that you've put in.

1609
01:28:06.340 --> 01:28:07.140
You haven't given up.

1610
01:28:07.280 --> 01:28:09.280
Guys, Hunter's been in our group for about two years.

1611
01:28:09.860 --> 01:28:11.100
He has not given up.

1612
01:28:11.100 --> 01:28:13.640
He's continued to work on himself, continue to grow.

1613
01:28:13.880 --> 01:28:16.320
And I just know that he's going to meet his spirit mate soon.

1614
01:28:16.380 --> 01:28:17.680
And I'm excited for him.

1615
01:28:17.680 --> 01:28:17.680


1616
01:28:18.120 --> 01:28:20.640
And hopefully these are new skills when I go on a cruise in January.

1617
01:28:21.480 --> 01:28:21.920
Yes.

1618
01:28:22.520 --> 01:28:25.060
Yes, he will be on the cruise in January and that'll be great.

1619
01:28:25.160 --> 01:28:25.440
Okay.

1620
01:28:25.580 --> 01:28:27.200
We had one last person, Renee.

1621
01:28:27.560 --> 01:28:29.900
So let's go ahead and wrap her up.

1622
01:28:30.220 --> 01:28:32.300
All right, Denise, you are it.

1623
01:28:33.800 --> 01:28:35.040
Can you guys hear me?

1624
01:28:35.400 --> 01:28:35.840
Yes.

1625
01:28:36.260 --> 01:28:36.660
Awesome.

1626
01:28:36.660 --> 01:28:42.120
So I started the program in January and I dated one guy like four times.

1627
01:28:42.700 --> 01:28:46.800
But I realized in the beginning of the program I was dealing with the poverty mindset.

1628
01:28:47.060 --> 01:28:49.280
So I had like a breakthrough with poverty.

1629
01:28:49.640 --> 01:28:56.020
And so then we're talking about all the lists and what's on your list and what's the spiritual list and their preferred list.

1630
01:28:56.080 --> 01:29:00.100
And so I was like, Lord, like, help me like deduce what my list should be.

1631
01:29:00.700 --> 01:29:04.620
And so obviously we all want a wealthy man.

1632
01:29:04.620 --> 01:29:06.540
Like I'm not going to sugarcoat that.

1633
01:29:06.760 --> 01:29:10.420
But I'm like, Lord, that's not that's a preferred, not a mandatory.

1634
01:29:11.580 --> 01:29:14.040
And so that the guy dated fell through.

1635
01:29:14.100 --> 01:29:17.100
And now I'm dating this other guy and he's like from out of state.

1636
01:29:17.120 --> 01:29:18.100
So I live in Los Angeles.

1637
01:29:18.260 --> 01:29:20.200
So the men here are from Los Angeles.

1638
01:29:20.200 --> 01:29:21.920
And that's all I'll say about that.

1639
01:29:22.580 --> 01:29:24.340
But he's from like Texas.

1640
01:29:24.360 --> 01:29:29.920
And so he doesn't have a car and he's in this situation again where the finances aren't beautiful.

1641
01:29:29.920 --> 01:29:33.060
And I was listening to one of the things that Jackie was saying.

1642
01:29:33.160 --> 01:29:38.300
And she's like, some of you ladies are settling for jesters when you need a king or believing for a king.

1643
01:29:38.400 --> 01:29:43.680
So my question is, like, how do I know should I be believing for the king?

1644
01:29:44.100 --> 01:29:49.500
Am I being too like overly sticky on like I want the king and I'm for the jester?

1645
01:29:49.760 --> 01:29:57.260
Or are there things like I could know and like would lead me to know what I should be believing for in that specific area of like finances?

1646
01:29:57.260 --> 01:29:59.260
Of only finances.

1647
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.400
Because I think that when Jackie, when she talks about a jester versus a king, I think

1648
01:30:04.400 --> 01:30:09.400
she's talking about the full package, his character, his faith, his mindset, and all

1649
01:30:09.400 --> 01:30:09.760
of it.

1650
01:30:09.760 --> 01:30:15.860
Because when you made the comment, we all want a wealthy man, and then you made a comment

1651
01:30:15.860 --> 01:30:20.840
about LA men, I just want to make sure you're not generalizing populations.

1652
01:30:21.100 --> 01:30:25.500
Like I heard you make two comments in under two minutes that made me go, I don't want

1653
01:30:25.500 --> 01:30:30.760
you to stereotype that men at a certain income level are not going to be jesters.

1654
01:30:30.880 --> 01:30:35.460
Because you can have an asshole who makes a ton of money, and you can have a really

1655
01:30:35.460 --> 01:30:38.300
good guy who makes a decent paycheck.

1656
01:30:38.480 --> 01:30:44.080
And so you're looking for a man of quality and character, and they're moving forward

1657
01:30:44.080 --> 01:30:46.240
in all of the areas of their life.

1658
01:30:46.240 --> 01:30:47.460
That's what you're looking for.

1659
01:30:47.480 --> 01:30:51.020
Is he willing to grow in his financial stability?

1660
01:30:51.260 --> 01:30:52.920
Is he willing to grow in his spiritual walk?

1661
01:30:52.920 --> 01:30:57.240
Is he willing to grow in his career or his covenant with you?

1662
01:30:57.400 --> 01:30:59.200
So that's what you're looking for.

1663
01:30:59.220 --> 01:31:02.200
You're looking for somebody who's kind of pursuing that.

1664
01:31:03.200 --> 01:31:06.160
And different people are going to have different financial stories.

1665
01:31:06.440 --> 01:31:08.520
And so you don't want...

1666
01:31:08.520 --> 01:31:10.320
So I don't know this guy that doesn't have a car.

1667
01:31:10.400 --> 01:31:17.360
I don't know if he's not a man of character, if he's not a kingly man, that attitude will

1668
01:31:17.360 --> 01:31:19.240
show up in all of the areas of his life.

1669
01:31:19.260 --> 01:31:20.080
Do you know what I'm saying?

1670
01:31:20.080 --> 01:31:23.760
It's going to be in how he treats you on a date.

1671
01:31:23.940 --> 01:31:27.520
It's going to be in how he talks about his job, but if he's like, well, my job's kind

1672
01:31:27.520 --> 01:31:27.900
of okay.

1673
01:31:28.700 --> 01:31:31.240
And, well, I really don't want to learn anything new.

1674
01:31:31.460 --> 01:31:33.280
And I really don't feel like going to the gym.

1675
01:31:33.440 --> 01:31:34.280
Do you know what I'm saying?

1676
01:31:34.360 --> 01:31:40.440
If he's got a lazy mindset and a not wanting to move forward growth mindset, it's going

1677
01:31:40.440 --> 01:31:43.320
to show up in all of the ways that he's dating you.

1678
01:31:43.360 --> 01:31:49.280
I think that's how it's going to help you see, am I dating a king or am I dating a man

1679
01:31:49.280 --> 01:31:50.160
of caliber?

1680
01:31:50.200 --> 01:31:52.020
And you guys, that's true for all of us, right?

1681
01:31:53.420 --> 01:31:55.860
We've all seen somebody who is really high.

1682
01:31:56.360 --> 01:31:57.760
They could be the CEO.

1683
01:31:58.100 --> 01:32:00.020
They could be a high income.

1684
01:32:00.160 --> 01:32:01.800
They can have a really big degree.

1685
01:32:02.300 --> 01:32:03.440
They could be really hot.

1686
01:32:04.060 --> 01:32:07.880
They could have something on their pedigree that makes them look amazing.

1687
01:32:08.420 --> 01:32:13.640
But again, going back to being a fruit inspector, look at the way they are in life and the way

1688
01:32:13.640 --> 01:32:15.620
they treat you, the way they treat other people.

1689
01:32:15.900 --> 01:32:18.160
Do other people respect them and admire them?

1690
01:32:19.040 --> 01:32:21.280
That's how you find your kings and queens.

1691
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:22.500
And it's not...

1692
01:32:22.500 --> 01:32:23.440
That makes a lot of sense.

1693
01:32:23.820 --> 01:32:24.160
Does that?

1694
01:32:24.300 --> 01:32:24.780
Okay, good.

1695
01:32:24.860 --> 01:32:25.940
Yeah, that helps a lot.

1696
01:32:26.140 --> 01:32:26.320
Thank you.

1697
01:32:26.580 --> 01:32:27.540
And be open.

1698
01:32:28.020 --> 01:32:32.860
I mean, I'm just going to say this, y'all, we don't have enough people going into the

1699
01:32:32.860 --> 01:32:33.880
trades right now.

1700
01:32:34.120 --> 01:32:37.180
And both of my brothers are blue collar workers.

1701
01:32:37.380 --> 01:32:39.780
Their wives stayed home, did not have to work.

1702
01:32:39.940 --> 01:32:41.060
They got to raise the kids.

1703
01:32:41.480 --> 01:32:43.660
They have put all of their kids through college.

1704
01:32:43.780 --> 01:32:45.340
They have married three daughters.

1705
01:32:45.340 --> 01:32:49.780
And so let us not discount blue collar workers.

1706
01:32:50.080 --> 01:32:55.980
Let us not discount men or women in careers that we think aren't top of the line.

1707
01:32:58.680 --> 01:33:02.340
And I don't know why I felt like I needed to say that because somebody is going to be

1708
01:33:02.340 --> 01:33:05.720
asking somebody out and they're going to find out that they're an electrician or a plumber

1709
01:33:05.720 --> 01:33:07.720
and you're going to be ready to turn her in.

1710
01:33:07.720 --> 01:33:10.520
Like you guys, there is a gorgeous, godly man.

1711
01:33:10.520 --> 01:33:11.620
His name is Emmanuel.

1712
01:33:11.980 --> 01:33:13.580
He's in his mid 40s.

1713
01:33:13.580 --> 01:33:18.020
He works at this manufacturing plant that I have to do chaplain visits.

1714
01:33:18.480 --> 01:33:23.540
And I remember thinking in the back of my head, he works out, loves the Lord, but like

1715
01:33:23.540 --> 01:33:28.420
how many women wouldn't want to date him because he's like a factory worker, working crazy

1716
01:33:28.420 --> 01:33:29.140
shift hours.

1717
01:33:29.320 --> 01:33:29.980
Like, do you know what I'm saying?

1718
01:33:30.060 --> 01:33:35.460
So I want to make sure that we hold space without judgment on that.

1719
01:33:35.540 --> 01:33:35.920
I don't know.

1720
01:33:36.000 --> 01:33:38.100
I hope that helps kind of what you're saying.

1721
01:33:38.380 --> 01:33:42.220
Well, what triggers me is like, I'm like a big personality person, right?

1722
01:33:42.220 --> 01:33:48.120
So if we click personality wise, I don't care what you do, but I find myself because I don't

1723
01:33:48.120 --> 01:33:51.960
know why, but I find myself with men that have great personality, are good looking,

1724
01:33:52.080 --> 01:33:53.960
but I'm always lifting them up financially.

1725
01:33:54.460 --> 01:33:55.260
And I'm tired.

1726
01:33:55.460 --> 01:33:56.020
You know what I mean?

1727
01:33:56.020 --> 01:33:57.260
We don't want you doing that girl.

1728
01:33:57.540 --> 01:33:58.560
We don't want you doing that.

1729
01:33:58.560 --> 01:33:58.960
Right.

1730
01:33:58.960 --> 01:34:00.280
So it's like, where's that love?

1731
01:34:00.300 --> 01:34:04.740
I guess I have to learn it for myself, but where's that level to where I just want you

1732
01:34:04.740 --> 01:34:05.960
to pull your own weight.

1733
01:34:05.960 --> 01:34:06.620
You know what I mean?

1734
01:34:06.680 --> 01:34:07.160
That's all.

1735
01:34:08.380 --> 01:34:09.320
That's okay girl.

1736
01:34:09.380 --> 01:34:10.540
Denise, that is okay.

1737
01:34:10.540 --> 01:34:13.520
So he doesn't have to be wealthy to pull his own weight.

1738
01:34:14.180 --> 01:34:16.560
He just has to be stable to pull his weight.

1739
01:34:17.580 --> 01:34:18.160
And it is okay.

1740
01:34:18.160 --> 01:34:23.080
We're not asking you to financially take care of another person.

1741
01:34:23.760 --> 01:34:23.860
Oh no.

1742
01:34:23.940 --> 01:34:26.380
And I didn't, I didn't interpret that that way.

1743
01:34:26.380 --> 01:34:30.700
I'm just like, what are signs to like, what, what level, not level should I be looking

1744
01:34:30.700 --> 01:34:34.500
for, but what should I be looking for that are like good or bad in that area?

1745
01:34:34.500 --> 01:34:37.080
Because I'm obviously sensitive to that area.

1746
01:34:37.240 --> 01:34:37.720
Yeah.

1747
01:34:37.920 --> 01:34:39.360
Clearly for you.

1748
01:34:39.360 --> 01:34:40.080
For sure.

1749
01:34:40.080 --> 01:34:40.220
For sure.

1750
01:34:40.280 --> 01:34:41.560
And that's a hot button somewhere.

1751
01:34:41.720 --> 01:34:43.560
And I, girl, I get it.

1752
01:34:43.980 --> 01:34:46.860
So just be paying attention to how a man treats you.

1753
01:34:47.020 --> 01:34:54.140
Just be being paying attention to, um, seeing if he honors you and he asks you on a date.

1754
01:34:54.140 --> 01:34:58.580
Now he may not be able to ask, take you on a Michelin date, but you know, he might have

1755
01:34:58.580 --> 01:34:59.340
heard about that.

1756
01:34:59.360 --> 01:34:59.980
Like he might take you on a date.

1757
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:01.300
I just want his time.

1758
01:35:01.420 --> 01:35:02.680
And give you a really good appetizer.

1759
01:35:02.820 --> 01:35:03.220
I don't know.

1760
01:35:04.160 --> 01:35:04.200
Yeah.

1761
01:35:04.360 --> 01:35:09.880
But just lay it before the Lord and just trust, and just trust that.

1762
01:35:10.660 --> 01:35:15.880
Maybe that is back to that poverty mentality, like, okay, only guys of this, I can only

1763
01:35:16.060 --> 01:35:17.640
attract the deadbeat guy.

1764
01:35:18.220 --> 01:35:18.780
And maybe the Lord-

1765
01:35:18.780 --> 01:35:19.980
Well, that's the thing they say, right?

1766
01:35:19.980 --> 01:35:22.680
They say, you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.

1767
01:35:22.760 --> 01:35:25.360
And part of my question is, am I still struggling with this?

1768
01:35:25.360 --> 01:35:26.780
Like, do I need more healing?

1769
01:35:27.300 --> 01:35:28.140
That's what I could feel.

1770
01:35:28.180 --> 01:35:33.340
Like, I could feel your energy kind of around, this is about me.

1771
01:35:34.460 --> 01:35:36.420
And so, take a look at that.

1772
01:35:36.540 --> 01:35:40.720
I mean, take a look at, do I deserve good?

1773
01:35:40.860 --> 01:35:41.980
Do I deserve amazing?

1774
01:35:42.380 --> 01:35:43.200
Do I deserve to be treated well?

1775
01:35:43.200 --> 01:35:44.940
And you deserve all of that, Denise.

1776
01:35:45.580 --> 01:35:50.520
Put a Post-it up on your mirror that says, you know, I'm a daughter of the king.

1777
01:35:50.620 --> 01:35:54.000
I deserve to be treated with respect and with kindness and with love.

1778
01:35:54.520 --> 01:35:56.260
Like, keep telling yourself that.

1779
01:35:56.500 --> 01:35:59.860
Make sure your profile, you know, showcases that.

1780
01:36:00.160 --> 01:36:03.320
Make sure the questions that you answer showcase that.

1781
01:36:04.580 --> 01:36:07.980
Speak into it, even on the days that you don't believe it.

1782
01:36:08.040 --> 01:36:10.400
Like, just constantly speak truth out loud.

1783
01:36:10.500 --> 01:36:15.420
And you guys, I think Jackie said this too, but the enemy can throw, he can whisper crap

1784
01:36:15.420 --> 01:36:17.260
in our ear, but he can't read our mind.

1785
01:36:17.260 --> 01:36:21.200
So, sometimes when we rebuke the enemy, we rebuke him in our head, but he can't hear

1786
01:36:21.200 --> 01:36:21.440
you.

1787
01:36:21.440 --> 01:36:22.640
So, you have to rebuke him out loud.

1788
01:36:22.640 --> 01:36:26.200
So, you want to declare, there is something about declaring things out loud.

1789
01:36:26.420 --> 01:36:31.540
So, anytime you feel like you are not worthy of a good man to treat you well, then just

1790
01:36:31.540 --> 01:36:34.700
tell that lie and tell the enemy to go back to hell where he belongs.

1791
01:36:34.820 --> 01:36:35.460
You get to do them.

1792
01:36:35.520 --> 01:36:39.760
You can tell them to go to hell, but start affirming and reminding yourself that you

1793
01:36:39.760 --> 01:36:42.500
are worthy, loved, and valued, and you deserve good things.

1794
01:36:42.840 --> 01:36:46.700
You deserve to eat off the banquet table and not the crumbs that fall to the ground.

1795
01:36:47.900 --> 01:36:48.300
Absolutely.

1796
01:36:48.400 --> 01:36:50.760
I believe, and I've been confessing that, and I believe that.

1797
01:36:50.760 --> 01:36:55.480
I just don't want to lose a good man, like you were saying, the blue collar worker, by

1798
01:36:55.480 --> 01:36:59.780
having too high of a standard, because I'm trying to overcompensate for-

1799
01:36:59.780 --> 01:36:59.780


1800
01:36:59.780 --> 01:37:00.960
So, just pay attention to that.

1801
01:37:00.980 --> 01:37:02.200
So, you're aware of it.

1802
01:37:02.760 --> 01:37:03.820
So, pay attention to that.

1803
01:37:03.900 --> 01:37:07.040
So, look for the fruit in how he treats you in all ways.

1804
01:37:07.480 --> 01:37:11.520
That's how you'll make sure that you're not going to turn off a good guy or turn away.

1805
01:37:11.600 --> 01:37:11.800
Okay.

1806
01:37:11.800 --> 01:37:12.800
That helps a lot.

1807
01:37:13.320 --> 01:37:13.780
Yeah.

1808
01:37:13.780 --> 01:37:14.840
So good, y'all.

1809
01:37:15.140 --> 01:37:15.780
Well- Thank you.

1810
01:37:15.820 --> 01:37:20.200
Not that I was stressed at all about having Jackie eavesdrop on my coaching tonight, but

1811
01:37:20.200 --> 01:37:21.020
that was awesome.

1812
01:37:22.240 --> 01:37:22.960
That's okay.

1813
01:37:22.980 --> 01:37:23.840
It's all good.

1814
01:37:24.840 --> 01:37:25.980
Actually, I love it.

1815
01:37:26.060 --> 01:37:26.920
I love it.

1816
01:37:26.960 --> 01:37:30.940
Because I thought she had some really good stuff to say, so I'm glad that she was peanut

1817
01:37:31.000 --> 01:37:32.540
gallering in there, too.

1818
01:37:32.540 --> 01:37:32.540


1819
01:37:32.600 --> 01:37:33.660
I was not eavesdropping.

1820
01:37:33.840 --> 01:37:35.200
I was enjoying myself.

1821
01:37:36.660 --> 01:37:38.140
That was totally good.

1822
01:37:38.380 --> 01:37:38.620
It's totally good.

1823
01:37:38.620 --> 01:37:40.020
I'm almost fully packed.

1824
01:37:40.240 --> 01:37:41.920
Thank you so much for tuning in.

1825
01:37:41.920 --> 01:37:42.740
I love it.

1826
01:37:43.000 --> 01:37:49.260
Friends, I just want to remind you, there's only 500 of these pre-sale copies, and especially

1827
01:37:49.260 --> 01:37:52.660
for this first edition, and a lot of you have already grabbed one.

1828
01:37:52.840 --> 01:37:54.280
So there's less than 500.

1829
01:37:55.460 --> 01:38:00.140
And so just want to let you know, the link is there, and I'm pretty sure it's just live

1830
01:38:00.140 --> 01:38:03.500
on my website somewhere on a book page, but yes.

1831
01:38:05.320 --> 01:38:05.520
Yes.

1832
01:38:05.620 --> 01:38:06.000
So good.

1833
01:38:06.600 --> 01:38:08.720
Thank you for this beautiful wedding tomorrow.

1834
01:38:08.800 --> 01:38:10.220
It's a blended family wedding.

1835
01:38:10.540 --> 01:38:10.780
My favorite.

1836
01:38:13.140 --> 01:38:14.440
You know what?

1837
01:38:15.260 --> 01:38:17.080
I've said it before, I'll say it again.

1838
01:38:17.800 --> 01:38:22.560
When your neighbor, when your neighbor gets success in anything, not just in this area,

1839
01:38:23.180 --> 01:38:25.740
get excited because that means God's in the neighborhood.

1840
01:38:27.660 --> 01:38:27.920
Amen?

1841
01:38:28.780 --> 01:38:29.300
Amen.

1842
01:38:30.320 --> 01:38:30.320


1843
01:38:31.420 --> 01:38:32.720
Great job, everybody, tonight.

1844
01:38:32.880 --> 01:38:33.960
I hope you got some good nuggets.

1845
01:38:34.220 --> 01:38:38.680
Go listen to the beginning part of this again, too, because Jackie spoke some really good

1846
01:38:38.680 --> 01:38:41.340
word over everybody, and we will see you again very soon.

1847
01:38:43.060 --> 01:38:43.860
Thanks, Renee.

1848
01:38:44.420 --> 01:38:45.820
Precious abundance.

1849
01:38:48.660 --> 01:38:51.460
Thank you.