WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:09.840
It is February 16th, 2026, with all the gentlemen here, and tonight we're going to be talking

2
00:00:09.840 --> 00:00:16.680
about being ready for what's to come and handling the stuff, so your house is in order.

3
00:00:16.680 --> 00:00:19.760
That's kind of what Jackie talked on Supernatural Saturday.

4
00:00:19.760 --> 00:00:25.420
But I was just sharing how the heart work, I did it twice, just the first time I went

5
00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:29.360
through it and it was really good.

6
00:00:29.360 --> 00:00:33.340
But the second time I went through and I went at a deeper level, I kind of tilled a

7
00:00:33.340 --> 00:00:38.700
little deeper in it because I kind of skimmed over it the first time, and it changed my

8
00:00:38.700 --> 00:00:43.820
life because I had been in a relationship that I didn't realize was hanging me out.

9
00:00:43.820 --> 00:00:49.860
Even though it had been a while before, so this program actually set me free from a bondage

10
00:00:49.860 --> 00:00:53.220
to somebody who I couldn't get out of my head.

11
00:00:53.220 --> 00:00:58.260
For what it's worth, do the heart work and do it, and if you do it diligently, you will

12
00:00:58.260 --> 00:00:59.260
be free.

13
00:00:59.260 --> 00:01:00.260
Right?

14
00:01:00.260 --> 00:01:02.720
Jackie has compiled it really well.

15
00:01:02.720 --> 00:01:07.240
I've done a lot of different modalities and I really like how she brings it all together.

16
00:01:07.240 --> 00:01:10.200
So hey, gentlemen, how's it going?

17
00:01:10.200 --> 00:01:12.960
I mean, I know Kevin's a little under the weather.

18
00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:13.960
Any wins?

19
00:01:13.960 --> 00:01:14.960
Anything you want to share?

20
00:01:14.960 --> 00:01:18.560
Anything coming up that you're excited about?

21
00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:22.400
Well, I finished my week two.

22
00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:23.840
You finished your week two?

23
00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:24.840
Yes.

24
00:01:25.820 --> 00:01:26.820
It's been a while.

25
00:01:26.820 --> 00:01:31.140
So what is week two about?

26
00:01:31.140 --> 00:01:44.940
It's telling you about heart works and, you know, bringing to the surface your pain, your,

27
00:01:44.940 --> 00:01:54.820
you know, past traumas and stuff like that, revealing your healing cycle and the life

28
00:01:54.820 --> 00:01:58.200
we believe.

29
00:01:58.200 --> 00:02:01.760
That's the one where the lies become your identity, right?

30
00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:02.760
Is that the section?

31
00:02:02.760 --> 00:02:03.760
Right.

32
00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:04.760
Right.

33
00:02:04.760 --> 00:02:05.760
Yeah.

34
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:06.760
And that is so true.

35
00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:09.520
You know, I love that whatever is revealed usually is healed.

36
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.840
But like, there's so many things, you know, like your past won't determine your future

37
00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:18.740
if you do something about it, but it will if you don't.

38
00:02:18.740 --> 00:02:24.640
Because you've got things that are running in the background that a lot of people aren't

39
00:02:25.460 --> 00:02:26.460
even aware of.

40
00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:27.460
And it's good to go.

41
00:02:27.460 --> 00:02:32.020
That's where the heart work kind of brings those up, right?

42
00:02:32.020 --> 00:02:36.420
I'm having a problem trying to decide whether it's stuff that I've already dealt with, if

43
00:02:36.420 --> 00:02:41.140
I've actually dealt with it, or if I haven't dealt with it, because a lot of the stuff

44
00:02:41.140 --> 00:02:46.940
that are brought back to mind is, you know, stuff that I mean, like my divorce, I've been

45
00:02:46.940 --> 00:02:53.060
divorced for 20 years now, you know, but some of it I didn't deal with, you know, until

46
00:02:53.060 --> 00:02:54.600
three or four years ago.

47
00:02:54.600 --> 00:02:55.600
Yeah.

48
00:02:55.600 --> 00:03:02.860
You know, but, you know, I don't feel any animosity and stuff, but there's still probably

49
00:03:02.860 --> 00:03:10.200
the thing about abandonment or getting left, you know, you know, not playing the blame

50
00:03:10.200 --> 00:03:11.200
game.

51
00:03:11.200 --> 00:03:14.640
I used to blame her a lot.

52
00:03:14.640 --> 00:03:18.120
Now I blame myself a lot.

53
00:03:18.120 --> 00:03:21.960
And a pendulum swinging that way isn't super good either, right?

54
00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:31.260
You know, after really examining, you know, a lot of the stuff, you know, I'm soft spoken

55
00:03:31.260 --> 00:03:32.260
and stuff.

56
00:03:32.260 --> 00:03:35.380
She'd say we're fighting and I'd be like, about what she told me, I'd say, I didn't

57
00:03:35.380 --> 00:03:36.380
say nothing.

58
00:03:36.380 --> 00:03:38.340
Well, you know, I know what you're thinking.

59
00:03:38.340 --> 00:03:39.340
Yeah.

60
00:03:39.340 --> 00:03:40.340
Yeah.

61
00:03:40.340 --> 00:03:43.220
But I said, you know, I...

62
00:03:43.220 --> 00:03:44.220
But is that really true?

63
00:03:44.220 --> 00:03:48.820
Like, okay, so all right, you guys, like when somebody says something like that, I know

64
00:03:48.820 --> 00:03:49.820
what you're thinking.

65
00:03:50.480 --> 00:03:51.880
I mean, okay, let's...

66
00:03:51.880 --> 00:03:52.880
Do you really think...

67
00:03:52.880 --> 00:03:53.880
She was right.

68
00:03:53.880 --> 00:04:00.440
I mean, she was right about what I was thinking, but I wasn't going to fight about it.

69
00:04:00.440 --> 00:04:06.520
Even then, like having somebody, you know, context, like whatever I had, because I have

70
00:04:06.520 --> 00:04:07.520
people...

71
00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:10.120
My ex did that all the time, right?

72
00:04:10.120 --> 00:04:11.720
Or expect me to read her mind.

73
00:04:11.720 --> 00:04:16.760
That was the best one is like, you should know, you know, how could I know if you're

74
00:04:16.760 --> 00:04:18.200
not going to say anything?

75
00:04:18.220 --> 00:04:21.339
So I guess I just, mindsets, right?

76
00:04:21.339 --> 00:04:24.120
My expectation was I was supposed to...

77
00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:26.740
Her expectation, I was supposed to read her mind.

78
00:04:26.740 --> 00:04:30.380
There's no way that I could possibly read her mind.

79
00:04:30.380 --> 00:04:38.340
No man can really read a woman's mind, because they change so often from...

80
00:04:38.340 --> 00:04:45.380
I mean, guys do it too, but women, you know, this week, it might be this way, but next

81
00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:48.600
week, it's somewhere different, because they already moved on.

82
00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:51.720
And okay, and that's true, but what I'm trying...

83
00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:56.360
What I'm getting at is you need to challenge it, so they actually say what's on their mind,

84
00:04:56.360 --> 00:04:58.800
and they speak it, and because...

85
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:06.080
When it's ambiguous like that, then they can determine whether they said it or not.

86
00:05:06.080 --> 00:05:10.240
And the reality is most people don't want to say what's on their mind, right?

87
00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:14.360
And you can't really have a healthy relationship if somebody's not going to voice their needs

88
00:05:14.360 --> 00:05:18.680
and everything else, and you're not voicing your needs or where you're at.

89
00:05:18.680 --> 00:05:27.640
And a lot of times, so that's why I say, when somebody says, you know, you made me X, Y,

90
00:05:27.640 --> 00:05:29.640
Z, it doesn't matter.

91
00:05:29.640 --> 00:05:31.600
Is that really true?

92
00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:34.080
Like Andy, can I make you do anything?

93
00:05:34.080 --> 00:05:38.080
I mean, well, if I was going to make you do something, it definitely wouldn't be angry

94
00:05:38.080 --> 00:05:39.080
at me.

95
00:05:39.080 --> 00:05:40.480
It definitely wouldn't be mad at me.

96
00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:42.480
It'd be like, I'd make you love me.

97
00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:44.000
I'd make you want to be with me.

98
00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:46.640
You're like, dude, Mike's the greatest ever.

99
00:05:46.640 --> 00:05:53.320
It wouldn't be, sorry, I just pulled you, but you get the point, right?

100
00:05:53.320 --> 00:05:57.520
It's like, nobody's like, you made me, you made me angry.

101
00:05:57.960 --> 00:06:01.320
You chose to be angry, right?

102
00:06:01.320 --> 00:06:03.320
And does that make sense?

103
00:06:03.320 --> 00:06:04.800
Hey, Christopher, I see your hand up.

104
00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:05.800
What's going on?

105
00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:10.320
I was just going to say, there's this mentality of the whole, you know, if he wanted to, he

106
00:06:10.320 --> 00:06:17.480
would and the assuming that, oh, he's making these, it's these thought trains that aren't

107
00:06:17.480 --> 00:06:18.480
really ever explored.

108
00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:25.520
It never asked like, hey, I'm thinking this, is this reality or it's just in my own head.

109
00:06:25.520 --> 00:06:29.560
So I think that communication, we can't do the whole, she, she must be thinking this

110
00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:31.320
or he must be thinking this.

111
00:06:31.320 --> 00:06:34.680
It's both sides are guilty of it, I think.

112
00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:36.960
That's right.

113
00:06:36.960 --> 00:06:41.160
So like Jackie was talking about having the hard conversations this week or whatever,

114
00:06:41.160 --> 00:06:47.000
but some of these things, it's like challenging things that are unproductive, right?

115
00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:52.000
Like, you know, if you knew, I just cringed when you said that, Christopher, like everything

116
00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:55.360
in me is like, oh my gosh, it's, you know, I understand.

117
00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:56.360
It's a thing.

118
00:06:56.360 --> 00:07:03.240
But, you know, as men, we need to kind of be like, hey, so that's like, like a tool.

119
00:07:03.240 --> 00:07:04.240
You made me angry.

120
00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.360
It'd be like, you know, if I could make, so that's why I shared it with, why I shared

121
00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:12.960
that and like, no, if I could make you something to adore me, it wouldn't be to hate me.

122
00:07:12.960 --> 00:07:13.960
Right?

123
00:07:13.960 --> 00:07:17.720
Like, so like, if I could make, if I'm making you do something, it's not making you mad

124
00:07:17.720 --> 00:07:18.720
at me.

125
00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:19.720
It's not.

126
00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:22.200
And so, and bringing back to choice.

127
00:07:22.200 --> 00:07:28.640
Like I actually had a situation or one of these kind of situations like two weeks ago.

128
00:07:28.640 --> 00:07:29.640
Oh yeah.

129
00:07:29.640 --> 00:07:30.640
Yeah.

130
00:07:30.640 --> 00:07:31.640
Sure.

131
00:07:31.640 --> 00:07:32.640
Yeah.

132
00:07:32.640 --> 00:07:33.640
Sure.

133
00:07:33.640 --> 00:07:34.640
Yeah.

134
00:07:34.640 --> 00:07:39.920
So the thing is that in the Philippines, there's a tradition that if you have, if you're like

135
00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:46.320
boyfriend, girlfriend, you don't just celebrate like anniversary milestones, but you celebrate

136
00:07:46.320 --> 00:07:49.520
monthly milestones.

137
00:07:49.520 --> 00:07:55.960
So like, so like she wanted to celebrate like one month of us officially being boyfriend,

138
00:07:55.960 --> 00:07:56.960
girlfriend.

139
00:07:56.960 --> 00:08:04.040
And she had told me about that when I was with her in the Philippines, but I forgot

140
00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:12.320
about it when I was, when I was here, you know, and I also, you know, part of it is

141
00:08:12.320 --> 00:08:17.920
I actually do have ADHD, so I don't remember things like maybe even more forgetful than

142
00:08:17.920 --> 00:08:19.840
the average guy.

143
00:08:19.840 --> 00:08:27.480
And, and she, she expected me to, to know like what was going on on February 6th.

144
00:08:27.480 --> 00:08:30.680
And I was like, it's just February 6th.

145
00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:31.920
It's not Valentine's Day.

146
00:08:31.920 --> 00:08:35.799
Like how could you expect me to remember this?

147
00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:42.240
Like she, and she was just, she was kind of just, you know, disappointed that I didn't

148
00:08:42.240 --> 00:08:44.920
remember it.

149
00:08:44.920 --> 00:08:47.760
And it took a while before she finally told me what it was.

150
00:08:47.760 --> 00:08:51.040
And I was like, oh, I remember now, but like, I'm sorry.

151
00:08:51.040 --> 00:08:53.720
Like there's no way I could have remembered that.

152
00:08:53.720 --> 00:09:00.560
It's just the way my mind works and, you know, she lightened up after a while, but it's just

153
00:09:00.560 --> 00:09:01.560
that kind of thing.

154
00:09:01.560 --> 00:09:08.640
It's like, you know, the, you know, she wants me to remember stuff like that.

155
00:09:09.640 --> 00:09:10.640
And that's part of growing.

156
00:09:10.640 --> 00:09:17.680
I mean, you guys like, that's part of growing.

157
00:09:17.680 --> 00:09:21.280
So if you find somebody who you're like in a serious relationship, right?

158
00:09:21.280 --> 00:09:24.560
Your job is to get a PhD, like headed towards marriage.

159
00:09:24.560 --> 00:09:28.160
Your job is to get a PhD in them and their job is to get a PhD in you.

160
00:09:28.160 --> 00:09:30.320
You guys both get a doctorate, right?

161
00:09:30.320 --> 00:09:34.720
And like, Andy, like, you know, not only are you dealing with standard, like men, like

162
00:09:34.720 --> 00:09:39.240
male, female differences, you're dealing with cultural differences too.

163
00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:44.880
And you know, and I say this to a lot of people, a lot of people are like, well, like Andy,

164
00:09:44.880 --> 00:09:48.840
like Andy is going to remember one day, like, and he's going to get it.

165
00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:49.840
And I hope you do.

166
00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:56.120
But like, but if you don't, then you have to accept that, that Andy, this is just part

167
00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:58.000
of who Andy is, right?

168
00:09:58.000 --> 00:09:59.800
And he's doing his best.

169
00:09:59.800 --> 00:10:00.080
And he just.

170
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.640
missed our one month anniversary. But you know, can you live with that or can you not live with

171
00:10:04.640 --> 00:10:10.240
that in a relationship? And if it was on the flip side where, you know, they didn't celebrate

172
00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:14.720
Valentine's Day and she didn't say anything, right? Our job's to lead. So this is a terrible

173
00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:24.400
example, right? Like, but people are like, well, you never want to get in a relationship or get

174
00:10:24.400 --> 00:10:30.480
serious in a relationship on potential. I guess that's what I'm saying, right? Little idiosyncrasies

175
00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:38.800
like, hey, we have a different culture and you don't know what it is. If you can work through

176
00:10:38.800 --> 00:10:43.920
that, that's great. But like, can you accept it? Can you not? Is that a deal breaker for you? And

177
00:10:43.920 --> 00:10:48.960
if so, then make the adjustments. If not, it's just part of growing and knowing each other. Does

178
00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:56.240
that make sense, Andy? Yeah. And I think that I'm really glad I'm with Jal right now because

179
00:10:56.240 --> 00:11:03.280
she actually can move past it where it's in the past, my past girlfriends, they just could not

180
00:11:03.280 --> 00:11:10.080
accept it. And they left me and I'm like, am I ever going to get married? It's like, I felt like

181
00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:16.720
in America, the women are way too picky, but it's like the other culture, it's like the

182
00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:22.800
Filipinos are known for being like super loyal. And I can definitely see that with Jal because

183
00:11:22.800 --> 00:11:29.760
it's like, she really was hurt by that, but she moved past it because she's devoted to me. She

184
00:11:29.760 --> 00:11:36.080
still loves me. She's going to give you grace. And then you're also going to set a monthly

185
00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:40.000
reminder in your phone for the sixth of every month. Yeah, well, there's no way I'm going to

186
00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:45.600
forget it now because of the turmoil. The turmoil is what helps me remember it. Oh, that's no,

187
00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:50.480
just set a reminder and then forget. But I think that's a good point. But I think you

188
00:11:50.480 --> 00:11:54.800
illustrate a good point, Andy. And I guess that's what I'm trying to say is like, you know, and

189
00:11:54.800 --> 00:12:00.320
okay, like in the Bible that said they were naked and unashamed, right? Basically that you're like,

190
00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:07.920
Andy, you're being yourself, right? With room to grow and she accepts you for who you are.

191
00:12:08.560 --> 00:12:12.400
Whereas others are like, you know, I can't move past this or I can't accept this.

192
00:12:12.960 --> 00:12:17.440
And obviously we want to be better, right? Like, I mean, like, but you guys are here. So that tells

193
00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:21.920
me that you, I mean, I don't have to tell you guys that you need to be better because you're here,

194
00:12:21.920 --> 00:12:26.480
because that's the whole point. You're here, right? So, but like relationships are about

195
00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:32.480
learning the other person. There's a gal that I've been seeing that drives me. I'm pretty good with

196
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:38.560
stuff like an adjusting, but she's very different. And so I find myself,

197
00:12:39.040 --> 00:12:43.200
I don't know if annoyed is the right word, but it's like, man, why can't it just be like

198
00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:48.960
everything else? But you know, like you just have to, each is case specific, I guess what I'm saying.

199
00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:52.880
Each relationship is case specific. You know, there's different hurts, there's different

200
00:12:52.880 --> 00:12:59.200
things, there's different cultures, there's different expectations. And how do we get on

201
00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:07.200
this money trail? But like, you know, like, but is that helpful for you guys? Like, I think you're

202
00:13:07.600 --> 00:13:11.520
all, you're all, you're all pretty brilliant guys. So I'm pretty sure you know that.

203
00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:20.000
Um, but it's this idea. The hard part for me is I try to keep myself at a standard

204
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:24.720
of I'm going to do everything right. I just have to make sure I do everything perfectly

205
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:29.200
and then it'll be fine. But that's, there's no way if we're looking for a lifelong mate,

206
00:13:29.760 --> 00:13:32.960
we're going to be able to keep that up for 50 years. That's just not going to happen.

207
00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:39.920
So, and even that, like, like you're talking to a perfectionist too, right? Like, you know,

208
00:13:40.640 --> 00:13:48.240
like, is that even possible? Right? Like, no, I mean, like, because I mean, and I have to say,

209
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:53.840
like, just just being fully core, I thought it was possible. Yeah. Right. But then somebody's

210
00:13:53.840 --> 00:14:01.280
like, Mike, do you really think that's reasonable? I'm like, it's feasible. It's not sustainable.

211
00:14:02.000 --> 00:14:10.400
And I think for me, um, well, I can tell you why I was a perfectionist is because I had a stepdad

212
00:14:10.400 --> 00:14:16.880
who was a narcissist and like he perfection is, you know, he gave the illustration of that. Um,

213
00:14:16.880 --> 00:14:20.960
if I was perfect, that could be loved. But the reality is, is you guys, you guys are all

214
00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:26.800
perfectly loved as you are. Right. And you don't need to do, you don't, you don't need, you don't

215
00:14:26.800 --> 00:14:33.600
need any ladies to, cause you're loved perfectly by the father and Jesus and all that. And coming

216
00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:38.240
to grips with that and that being your center, then somebody else, when you're not perfect, you

217
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:44.800
know, it doesn't, I mean, you stop striving. I don't know. I don't know how you, but I got

218
00:14:44.800 --> 00:14:50.960
exhausted striving and, um, on the treadmill of performance. Like if you're in a relationship and

219
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:54.400
you can't be yourself and Andy, that's one of the things I loved about yours. Like you're just

220
00:14:54.400 --> 00:14:59.920
being you. Right. And she's being her. And then there's, there's no upkeep. Like if you're

221
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.160
come into a relationship with this, like,

222
00:15:02.160 --> 00:15:03.900
I'm this person that's got it all together

223
00:15:03.900 --> 00:15:05.720
and you don't have it all together.

224
00:15:05.720 --> 00:15:07.600
Well, now you have to upkeep that versus,

225
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:10.440
hey, I'm a dude who's got his issues,

226
00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:12.280
but I'm also pretty amazing.

227
00:15:12.280 --> 00:15:14.680
And the true you.

228
00:15:16.040 --> 00:15:18.880
A lot of times, and I encourage you all,

229
00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:23.880
like, the most attractive you is the real you.

230
00:15:25.400 --> 00:15:28.640
Good, bad, indifferent, good, bad, and ugly, right?

231
00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:31.120
And if you're projecting a different you

232
00:15:31.120 --> 00:15:33.280
because you think that's what they're gonna want,

233
00:15:33.280 --> 00:15:36.660
then when they fall in love with that projection,

234
00:15:36.660 --> 00:15:38.560
you never get the love because it's not the real you.

235
00:15:38.560 --> 00:15:40.360
Does that make sense?

236
00:15:40.360 --> 00:15:41.800
Is that helpful for you guys?

237
00:15:44.020 --> 00:15:45.960
And really, like, in Genesis, it's like,

238
00:15:45.960 --> 00:15:47.800
they are naked and unashamed, really.

239
00:15:47.800 --> 00:15:50.960
Hey, everything, everything about them was known

240
00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:52.760
and they loved each other.

241
00:15:54.160 --> 00:15:55.000
Yeah.

242
00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:58.200
I think there's gotta be a separation of it's,

243
00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:01.520
I have trouble separating, like, what is just me?

244
00:16:01.520 --> 00:16:03.880
It's me, my personality, what I actually think

245
00:16:03.880 --> 00:16:06.720
is kind of fun about me or attractive about me.

246
00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:08.800
And then some of the things that the heart work,

247
00:16:08.800 --> 00:16:11.480
I think, really helps with is we've gotta chip this away.

248
00:16:11.480 --> 00:16:14.500
This is something you've got to heal in yourself

249
00:16:14.500 --> 00:16:17.080
so that you aren't, for instance, a rage monster.

250
00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:19.960
That's what I used to struggle with years and years ago.

251
00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:22.400
So, yeah, it's trying to chip off that things,

252
00:16:22.400 --> 00:16:24.200
the things like, hey, this is me,

253
00:16:24.200 --> 00:16:25.960
and can you give me grace and accept that,

254
00:16:25.960 --> 00:16:27.240
the warts and all?

255
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:29.880
Or is this, hey, you're pointing out some things

256
00:16:29.880 --> 00:16:33.640
that maybe I need to actually resolve in myself

257
00:16:33.640 --> 00:16:35.640
so that you're not having to deal with something

258
00:16:35.640 --> 00:16:38.480
that you don't have the responsibility to deal with.

259
00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:40.720
No, and I think that, yeah, it's like, hey,

260
00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:42.680
but even in that, like, it's,

261
00:16:44.280 --> 00:16:48.840
you see me for me and we're together.

262
00:16:48.840 --> 00:16:50.320
You're showing, you know,

263
00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:51.800
because relationships are mirrors.

264
00:16:51.800 --> 00:16:53.480
You guys all know that, right?

265
00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:56.520
Like, every relationship you're in

266
00:16:56.520 --> 00:16:59.040
is a mirror into who you are or whatever

267
00:16:59.040 --> 00:17:02.560
because the things that you do show,

268
00:17:02.560 --> 00:17:04.960
like kids, like when you have kids,

269
00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:06.160
you know, it's amazing.

270
00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:07.760
You start hearing things coming out of their mouth

271
00:17:07.760 --> 00:17:10.000
and you realize, oh, that doesn't sound,

272
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.839
that doesn't sound good at all coming out of that,

273
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:14.440
their mouth, and I know where they got it, right?

274
00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:15.440
You know, and so,

275
00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:20.720
so, yeah, I guess the whole thing

276
00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:22.680
Jackie was talking about on Saturday

277
00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:26.640
was getting the houses in order

278
00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:29.200
so that way when you come into,

279
00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:30.280
when you meet your spirit mate,

280
00:17:30.280 --> 00:17:32.560
you can hit the ground running, right?

281
00:17:32.560 --> 00:17:36.240
And it's funny because some of the stuff

282
00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:38.600
she was talking about, I'm already doing.

283
00:17:38.600 --> 00:17:40.720
And so, but does anybody have anything

284
00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:42.560
that's pressing that they want to chat about

285
00:17:42.560 --> 00:17:45.120
or any wins they want to share?

286
00:17:45.120 --> 00:17:48.760
Because we can definitely use some wins.

287
00:17:49.760 --> 00:17:52.200
Well, so what I was getting at first

288
00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:54.760
was I'm having problems trying to decide

289
00:17:54.760 --> 00:17:56.960
whether the, you know,

290
00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:58.400
because I finished the second course,

291
00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:01.880
whether I need to go back over it or not

292
00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:03.680
or if I should just pushing forward

293
00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:06.720
and see, because it's not that I don't feel

294
00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:09.360
some things changing and stuff

295
00:18:09.360 --> 00:18:11.520
and maybe a little bit of release,

296
00:18:11.520 --> 00:18:14.320
but, you know, because to me,

297
00:18:14.320 --> 00:18:16.760
a lot of the stuff that I,

298
00:18:16.800 --> 00:18:20.280
the stuff that I, that come up during that course

299
00:18:20.280 --> 00:18:21.840
is stuff that I already dealt with

300
00:18:21.840 --> 00:18:26.040
and that, you know, that, you know,

301
00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:28.880
me and God's fine with, but, you know,

302
00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:29.720
how do you find-

303
00:18:29.720 --> 00:18:31.520
So if that's true, okay.

304
00:18:31.520 --> 00:18:35.200
So I had a, I don't know if you've heard of EMDR,

305
00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:37.840
but like, if you can go to a memory

306
00:18:37.840 --> 00:18:40.160
and it's like reading yesterday's paper,

307
00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:41.840
like you're like, yeah, that kind of,

308
00:18:41.840 --> 00:18:43.320
that sucked, right?

309
00:18:43.320 --> 00:18:45.160
But it's not like you're in it

310
00:18:45.160 --> 00:18:47.400
or you're affected by it.

311
00:18:47.400 --> 00:18:49.400
I mean, there might be a little sadness,

312
00:18:49.400 --> 00:18:50.720
but if you can look at a memory

313
00:18:50.720 --> 00:18:54.120
and you can be in it and it's inert per se,

314
00:18:54.120 --> 00:18:56.800
it's not still jabbing you,

315
00:18:56.800 --> 00:18:58.560
then you've healed.

316
00:18:58.560 --> 00:18:59.800
And, you know, there's different layers.

317
00:18:59.800 --> 00:19:00.640
Like, you know, I mean,

318
00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:03.200
I've dealt with some things like father issues.

319
00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:04.920
I mean, it seems like there's a different layer

320
00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:06.840
that comes up every once in a while.

321
00:19:06.840 --> 00:19:09.080
So that's why it's good to go back through it

322
00:19:09.080 --> 00:19:11.960
and just see if there's anything still alive in that.

323
00:19:11.960 --> 00:19:14.160
So Kevin, like if you feel like you and the Lord

324
00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:15.160
and you're at peace with it,

325
00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:16.320
if there's a peace about it

326
00:19:16.320 --> 00:19:18.440
and it's just like looking at an old newspaper,

327
00:19:18.440 --> 00:19:19.520
an old magazine,

328
00:19:19.520 --> 00:19:21.560
and you don't really have any emotional attachment

329
00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:22.400
to it anymore,

330
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:23.560
then move to the next thing.

331
00:19:23.560 --> 00:19:24.520
Is that helpful?

332
00:19:25.520 --> 00:19:26.800
Yeah, yeah.

333
00:19:27.760 --> 00:19:31.120
Yeah, I just went back to a part two for me.

334
00:19:31.120 --> 00:19:33.480
Cause I remember having some similar thoughts

335
00:19:33.480 --> 00:19:34.360
of some of this stuff.

336
00:19:34.360 --> 00:19:36.720
Like, so I have this stuff touched.

337
00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:39.280
I think that's actually something that good wisdom has.

338
00:19:39.320 --> 00:19:40.880
It will touch back to things

339
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:43.760
that other wise people have said in your life

340
00:19:43.760 --> 00:19:46.280
and healing that you've gone through.

341
00:19:46.280 --> 00:19:47.840
And I did have some that,

342
00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:50.440
like, haven't I dealt with this?

343
00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:51.720
But I'm looking at some of this stuff

344
00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:56.720
and yeah, I had touched on it and I dealt with it.

345
00:19:58.160 --> 00:19:59.960
It doesn't seem like there's some.

346
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.780
some more digging to be done.

347
00:20:01.780 --> 00:20:05.460
And maybe some of the stuff I'll have to touch back on

348
00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:09.340
over and over again as I grow up and become more wise.

349
00:20:10.420 --> 00:20:14.820
So, you know, I would encourage you to dig back into it.

350
00:20:14.820 --> 00:20:16.340
And I think there is even a part that's like,

351
00:20:16.340 --> 00:20:19.140
hey, maybe go back and redo it

352
00:20:19.140 --> 00:20:22.460
if you're not feeling that it's done.

353
00:20:24.380 --> 00:20:25.220
Yeah.

354
00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:26.040
Right, right.

355
00:20:26.380 --> 00:20:29.540
It says that at the end of part two.

356
00:20:30.580 --> 00:20:33.100
But like I was saying, you know,

357
00:20:33.100 --> 00:20:34.540
and I've been thinking about it

358
00:20:34.540 --> 00:20:35.660
because I think she brought it up

359
00:20:35.660 --> 00:20:37.280
in the middle of part two too.

360
00:20:39.020 --> 00:20:42.940
But where I'm at now is I think I'm gonna go in

361
00:20:42.940 --> 00:20:46.140
and do part three.

362
00:20:46.140 --> 00:20:48.540
And if stuff keeps on coming up,

363
00:20:48.540 --> 00:20:50.900
things that come up further in part three,

364
00:20:50.900 --> 00:20:54.180
if it keeps on coming up, you know, frequently,

365
00:20:54.520 --> 00:20:56.280
then that's probably something,

366
00:20:56.280 --> 00:20:57.480
that's probably God telling me

367
00:20:57.480 --> 00:20:59.280
that I really didn't deal with it and I need to,

368
00:20:59.280 --> 00:21:01.920
if it keeps, if those keep on, you know,

369
00:21:01.920 --> 00:21:06.060
knocking on my door is what my thoughts on it was.

370
00:21:09.140 --> 00:21:09.980
Yeah.

371
00:21:10.960 --> 00:21:12.640
Yeah, sorry.

372
00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:15.340
My internet, for some reason, was having some issues.

373
00:21:16.540 --> 00:21:17.520
Yeah.

374
00:21:17.520 --> 00:21:20.400
I mean, it never hurts to go back through stuff

375
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:22.500
and see if it's still alive.

376
00:21:22.520 --> 00:21:25.220
You know, I mean, and so,

377
00:21:26.680 --> 00:21:30.560
but one of the things Jackie was also talking about,

378
00:21:30.560 --> 00:21:32.160
and I've actually been struggling with this late,

379
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:34.880
not struggling, I cut out social media

380
00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:40.960
because it was just wearing me down, right?

381
00:21:41.120 --> 00:21:43.360
Like all the, like I have two friends

382
00:21:43.360 --> 00:21:45.560
warring over certain things and there's all this.

383
00:21:45.560 --> 00:21:49.160
And I was like, you know, it's just not,

384
00:21:49.160 --> 00:21:53.300
like adrenal fatigue is a literal thing, right?

385
00:21:53.300 --> 00:21:55.940
You know, and like Jackie was like,

386
00:21:55.940 --> 00:21:57.460
hey, if you're in relationships

387
00:21:57.460 --> 00:21:59.540
and you don't have a connection, like any

388
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:05.860
attraction, it could be just that you're in a,

389
00:22:05.860 --> 00:22:08.500
your system's worn down.

390
00:22:08.500 --> 00:22:11.640
So like, you know, like Andy, I know, you know,

391
00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:14.260
I know you've been working on cleaning up your,

392
00:22:14.260 --> 00:22:16.200
getting your house in order and like,

393
00:22:16.220 --> 00:22:19.140
and now you have a lady, you know, on the way, right?

394
00:22:19.140 --> 00:22:22.220
You know, like, and so like get, you know,

395
00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:24.660
Jackie's talking about getting the house in order

396
00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:25.740
and getting it ready.

397
00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:29.580
Actually my phone closed.

398
00:22:29.580 --> 00:22:31.180
So one of the, some of the things

399
00:22:33.820 --> 00:22:35.780
like she wanted to do is like write down

400
00:22:35.780 --> 00:22:37.120
three things you've been avoiding

401
00:22:37.120 --> 00:22:39.460
and schedule them this week.

402
00:22:39.460 --> 00:22:41.740
Clear the clutter, clear the clutter,

403
00:22:41.740 --> 00:22:45.660
delete all contacts, unsubscribe from emails,

404
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:48.000
create boundaries, no more unpaid overtime,

405
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:50.680
no more being everyone's babysitter.

406
00:22:50.680 --> 00:22:52.960
Dopamine reset, get off of the doom scrolling,

407
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:54.140
your brain is fried.

408
00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:00.120
Like, I don't know, is that how you guys,

409
00:23:00.120 --> 00:23:02.560
are you guys pretty good with your house or like,

410
00:23:02.560 --> 00:23:05.040
what are things that wear you down?

411
00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:06.680
It's not always the big things,

412
00:23:06.680 --> 00:23:08.600
it's could be the thousand little,

413
00:23:08.600 --> 00:23:10.360
the death of a thousand cuts.

414
00:23:13.760 --> 00:23:15.640
Do you guys feel like you're in a pretty good place

415
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:17.700
or do you feel like you need to do some house cleaning

416
00:23:17.700 --> 00:23:20.240
and get ready for what's to come?

417
00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:24.020
Well, one thing I'd like to say is that,

418
00:23:24.020 --> 00:23:25.580
so since I'm Catholic,

419
00:23:25.580 --> 00:23:28.300
I'll be entering a period of Lent in a couple of days.

420
00:23:28.300 --> 00:23:29.760
Ash Wednesday is on Wednesday.

421
00:23:29.760 --> 00:23:33.980
And so it's a perfect time to, you know,

422
00:23:33.980 --> 00:23:36.560
get my act together in some ways.

423
00:23:36.560 --> 00:23:39.840
Sometimes, you know, just taking a break

424
00:23:39.840 --> 00:23:41.940
from all the noise is a good thing.

425
00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:44.540
So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna,

426
00:23:44.540 --> 00:23:48.600
I'm gonna give up listening to like audio books

427
00:23:48.600 --> 00:23:53.240
and political news and start just listening

428
00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:57.760
to instrumental music, just kind of like set atmosphere.

429
00:23:57.760 --> 00:24:02.760
And it'll be more of a spiritual atmosphere.

430
00:24:03.800 --> 00:24:07.000
And I hope I can be more introspective.

431
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:10.340
And of course, one of the things I'm working on,

432
00:24:10.340 --> 00:24:12.240
I brought up before was that I struggle

433
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:14.940
with the masturbation and I'm trying to overcome that.

434
00:24:16.140 --> 00:24:20.620
It might be beneficial to be like more in a quiet

435
00:24:20.620 --> 00:24:22.540
where I'm not hearing like chatter and stuff.

436
00:24:22.540 --> 00:24:26.060
And I don't know if that contributes to it directly,

437
00:24:26.060 --> 00:24:28.700
but it could be a potential source.

438
00:24:29.660 --> 00:24:33.640
And all the media that we're intaking,

439
00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:35.660
whether we know it or realize it or not

440
00:24:35.660 --> 00:24:38.740
is creating tensions and other things too, right?

441
00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:39.780
You know what I mean?

442
00:24:39.800 --> 00:24:43.280
Yeah, we live in a world of noise, right?

443
00:24:43.280 --> 00:24:46.080
You know, even when we think it's quiet, it's still really,

444
00:24:46.080 --> 00:24:49.680
I mean, dude, like my email is always blowing up,

445
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:52.680
you know, like my social media was always blowing up.

446
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:56.240
And I have to say, I've been off of social media

447
00:24:56.240 --> 00:25:00.040
for two and a half weeks now, and I don't.

448
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:07.000
Dude, I feel so much better, like, I didn't realize how much of that little, like the

449
00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:11.560
little, it says that the little foxes spoil the vineyard, right?

450
00:25:11.560 --> 00:25:19.360
And I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but just the constant reels and this and that

451
00:25:19.360 --> 00:25:23.680
really were wearing me down.

452
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:29.000
So it sounds like Lent for you, Andy, is the, is a perfect time.

453
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:33.600
The real thing is, is, is scary.

454
00:25:33.600 --> 00:25:38.360
I think that's why fasting, fasting, I'm sorry.

455
00:25:38.360 --> 00:25:41.320
No, I was just, I was reflecting what you said.

456
00:25:41.320 --> 00:25:46.160
I, yesterday I got home from a great weekend with my aunt and my uncle, which is actually

457
00:25:46.160 --> 00:25:47.160
one of my wins.

458
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:52.880
I was actually talking with my aunt as we hiked in the Redwoods together.

459
00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:57.000
That's what I do with Valentine's Day is I took my aunt to the Redwoods.

460
00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:02.800
We were talking about actually some of the hard work and it was a really great conversation.

461
00:26:02.800 --> 00:26:09.040
But getting back from that and to my own house, I had some dead time between getting home

462
00:26:09.040 --> 00:26:10.920
and going to Bible study.

463
00:26:10.920 --> 00:26:14.800
And you know, I go upstairs, take a shower, get, I'm in the bed.

464
00:26:14.800 --> 00:26:15.800
I'm just scrolling.

465
00:26:15.800 --> 00:26:19.520
And I realized, I'm like, well, how, why am I scrolling right now?

466
00:26:19.520 --> 00:26:25.280
I walked downstairs, found myself on the couch scrolling and I'm like, what, what am I doing?

467
00:26:25.280 --> 00:26:30.320
I've killed like an hour here just between, because I had dead time.

468
00:26:30.320 --> 00:26:38.320
It was, it was scary how disconnected I was just because I was tired and off of my schedule.

469
00:26:38.320 --> 00:26:43.280
And it just gets you in this hole and it's like a gravitational pull almost.

470
00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:49.280
I apologize to all my internet's really not super awesome today.

471
00:26:56.280 --> 00:26:57.280
Yeah.

472
00:26:57.280 --> 00:27:02.920
So just at the end of the day, I think cutting that stuff off, anything where your brain

473
00:27:02.920 --> 00:27:13.280
goes on to that autopilot or you're not being intentional and it just causes things to disappear.

474
00:27:13.280 --> 00:27:15.560
I don't know what it's doing to me exactly.

475
00:27:15.560 --> 00:27:22.520
I have read a few studies, but I don't like it and it's going to have to stop.

476
00:27:22.520 --> 00:27:24.760
Imagine all the things we could get done with that.

477
00:27:24.760 --> 00:27:30.800
That hour I had, I think about what I could have done with it to get the house in order.

478
00:27:30.800 --> 00:27:39.640
Like Jackie says, and you know, I can't, can't, can't soak in shame at the end of the day,

479
00:27:39.640 --> 00:27:44.040
but I got to be aware of it at least that, that I wasted that potential.

480
00:27:44.040 --> 00:27:45.040
Yeah.

481
00:27:45.040 --> 00:27:54.720
Sorry guys, I'm turning my video off cause it's having issues, but no, that's so good.

482
00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:56.400
Like, what can you do with that hour?

483
00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:57.400
You know what I mean?

484
00:27:57.400 --> 00:28:02.280
You can learn an instrument, you can work out, you can clean things, right?

485
00:28:02.280 --> 00:28:05.360
You can do a lot of different things with that.

486
00:28:05.360 --> 00:28:10.960
I could have put away my luggage instead of leaving it in the front room.

487
00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:17.600
Yeah, I agree.

488
00:28:17.600 --> 00:28:24.400
I think the thing that's hard with our cell phones is like what we use to get things done.

489
00:28:24.760 --> 00:28:28.000
Like what we're doing right now, I'm on my cell phone.

490
00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:33.800
So then you're being productive with it and then, and then like you're just conditioned

491
00:28:33.800 --> 00:28:38.080
to be on it, whether it's productive or not productive.

492
00:28:38.080 --> 00:28:42.560
So it just, it does take a lot of, it's good to realize that like you were saying, Chris,

493
00:28:42.560 --> 00:28:45.000
it's like, what am I doing with the last hour?

494
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:52.080
You know, like that's like the first step is like realizing like there's, there's an

495
00:28:52.080 --> 00:28:56.760
issue there, but it is, it's just a difficult problem in this world stuff.

496
00:28:56.760 --> 00:29:04.400
You know, and Andy, the other thing you brought up is the audio book slash podcast thing.

497
00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:12.640
I sometimes think I just need that noise just to, it's almost like audio alcohol just to

498
00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:17.400
keep the brain from thinking about anything else.

499
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:22.280
And if I'm not doing it intentionally, if I'm not actually doing something productive

500
00:29:22.280 --> 00:29:28.040
in my ears, then it's just keeping me from thinking about the serious things or maybe

501
00:29:28.040 --> 00:29:32.680
some of the healing that I'm doing or the trauma that's bringing back up and just, just,

502
00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:37.720
just numb it, just put it all on static instead of dealing with it is not a great way to go

503
00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:38.720
through life.

504
00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:39.720
Yeah.

505
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:45.680
And the only thing is that I actually have tried, you know, doing going to total silence

506
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:52.200
and that didn't work for me either because I ended up like, like actually literally not

507
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:54.960
doing anything around the house.

508
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:58.800
And cause it, my mind was like just distracting me.

509
00:29:58.800 --> 00:29:59.840
So I, I think.

510
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.360
Um, what I want to do is just do the instrumental music.

511
00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:04.680
It's just like background music.

512
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:09.320
It's enough to stimulate my brain, but it's not going to be like noise, like

513
00:30:09.760 --> 00:30:11.320
chattering and, you know,

514
00:30:12.360 --> 00:30:12.960
that's my point.

515
00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:14.160
You're being intentional with it.

516
00:30:14.280 --> 00:30:18.920
And for me, I, I mean, even today before this meeting, I had like 20 minutes to

517
00:30:18.920 --> 00:30:22.280
kill and I'm just playing some random YouTube video I've heard three times.

518
00:30:22.560 --> 00:30:23.360
I'm like, what am I doing?

519
00:30:23.360 --> 00:30:29.160
I could, this is just me trying to numb thinking about this meeting and some of

520
00:30:29.160 --> 00:30:31.600
the stuff that might come up cause I'm on the forgiveness chapter.

521
00:30:31.600 --> 00:30:33.560
So that's some fun stuff.

522
00:30:34.360 --> 00:30:34.680
That's it.

523
00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:37.200
That's an important, but rough one can be a rough one.

524
00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:40.360
But the cool thing is, is when you get to the other side, you're free and that's

525
00:30:40.360 --> 00:30:40.920
amazing.

526
00:30:41.720 --> 00:30:42.120
Right.

527
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:45.960
Um, so I hope that I reset some, I hope this works better.

528
00:30:46.080 --> 00:30:46.680
Are you guys hearing me?

529
00:30:46.680 --> 00:30:47.040
All right.

530
00:30:47.520 --> 00:30:52.880
Um, but like, that's, but you, I think you hit it, Chris, like Christopher,

531
00:30:55.440 --> 00:30:58.040
basically we numb each other, numb ourselves out.

532
00:31:00.120 --> 00:31:00.640
Right.

533
00:31:01.280 --> 00:31:09.640
Um, and so like if we're numbing yourself out, it's just, you know, we're not

534
00:31:09.640 --> 00:31:12.320
growing in other ways or doing the things you could, right?

535
00:31:16.600 --> 00:31:17.320
Oh, Jesus.

536
00:31:17.320 --> 00:31:17.560
Help.

537
00:31:18.040 --> 00:31:22.600
I'll make, I'll make one exception and that's when I'm working out cause I do

538
00:31:22.600 --> 00:31:23.360
need to be numb.

539
00:31:23.800 --> 00:31:25.440
So I get through the other end.

540
00:31:26.360 --> 00:31:29.400
No, that's, that's no, that's, that's, but that's a different thing.

541
00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:32.600
That's, that's a pushing through pain and, but you're doing something with it.

542
00:31:32.600 --> 00:31:32.840
Right.

543
00:31:32.840 --> 00:31:40.680
Um, well, and for, for me, um, I would numb so I didn't have to deal with life.

544
00:31:41.720 --> 00:31:44.880
And if you're doing that, then you're going backwards.

545
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:51.400
Like, you know, like, because you just never, you're never, you're never static.

546
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:53.320
You're either moving forward or you're moving backwards.

547
00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:58.600
And so, um, I'm, I'm proud of you guys.

548
00:31:58.800 --> 00:32:03.520
I mean like Andy and Chris, like this, like recognizing it's nine tenths of the

549
00:32:03.560 --> 00:32:10.280
nine tenths of, of growing, you know, um, gaming, I don't know about you gamers,

550
00:32:10.280 --> 00:32:16.640
but I was gaming a lot of hours and, um, I gave up gaming and realized I'm running

551
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:18.240
from a lot of things, right?

552
00:32:18.360 --> 00:32:23.360
So what, what other things you guys, you know, are helpful for cleaning house?

553
00:32:24.560 --> 00:32:30.880
Anybody like that, that help you get clarity and bandwidth and, um, get out of

554
00:32:30.920 --> 00:32:31.680
the rat race?

555
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:45.720
Well, I think, um, I think, um, I think, um, I think it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

556
00:32:45.840 --> 00:32:49.800
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's hard to get out of the rat race.

557
00:32:51.360 --> 00:32:55.800
Well, I generally live alone, so I, and I live in a small town, so it's not hard

558
00:32:55.800 --> 00:32:57.440
for me to get out of the rat race.

559
00:32:57.760 --> 00:33:01.120
Um, I've got to make myself go do stuff.

560
00:33:01.160 --> 00:33:03.840
Like go see my kids and my grandkids and stuff.

561
00:33:04.800 --> 00:33:09.640
Uh, this winter, however, I'm staying with one of my daughters instead of in my

562
00:33:10.400 --> 00:33:11.840
travel trailer for the winter.

563
00:33:11.840 --> 00:33:16.640
Just easier not to have to deal with, uh, untying everything when I got back from

564
00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:22.920
Hawaii and it cost me about the same thing to rent a room from her as it does for me

565
00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:24.120
to stay in my own place.

566
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:25.200
Maybe a little bit more.

567
00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:28.280
Cause I chip in more for groceries than I do when I buy it for myself.

568
00:33:28.280 --> 00:33:34.680
But, um, then I'm around my grand, some of my grandkids all the time, but it's,

569
00:33:34.760 --> 00:33:41.080
it's a lot noisier and it's a hard, hard for me to get away from the noise in a

570
00:33:41.080 --> 00:33:45.720
house because it's, cause it's a small town and there's not a lot of stuff to go

571
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:47.400
do, you know?

572
00:33:48.040 --> 00:33:52.520
So, but I, I do love that you're, um, doing the things that matter, like spending

573
00:33:52.520 --> 00:33:54.640
time with family, right.

574
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:59.360
You know, um, like that hour, the hour we spend scrolling, we could be chatting with

575
00:33:59.400 --> 00:34:04.640
a family member, checking in with a friend or developing a new friendship or a lot of

576
00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:08.239
different things that actually have massive value.

577
00:34:08.400 --> 00:34:08.840
Right.

578
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:10.560
Um, right, right.

579
00:34:11.520 --> 00:34:18.280
I just, and sometimes I know I forget that because I've had, you know, I got, uh, my

580
00:34:18.280 --> 00:34:22.920
kids were all still like 12 and stuff when I got divorced.

581
00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:29.560
Um, so that part of me spending time with my kids has been important to me.

582
00:34:29.560 --> 00:34:30.840
And that's, what's got me through.

583
00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:35.880
That's what got me through the divorce for 20 years, you know, um, and, and being

584
00:34:35.880 --> 00:34:39.800
single, uh, now all my kids are over 21.

585
00:34:40.600 --> 00:34:43.159
And, and, you know, I'm still single.

586
00:34:43.159 --> 00:34:46.600
So now, now it affects me a little bit different.

587
00:34:46.679 --> 00:34:50.239
You know, I still want to be around my kids all the time.

588
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:52.639
I mean, when I go to Hawaii, I'm around my kids.

589
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:54.320
Cause I got two of them that live there.

590
00:34:54.920 --> 00:34:59.600
And that's the only reason I go there is because they're there, even though, even

591
00:34:59.600 --> 00:35:00.000
though.

592
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.000
I spend most of my time when I'm there in the ocean boogie boarding.

593
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:10.000
Well, coming from Alaska, I think Hawaii would be a great thing.

594
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:12.000
I do a lot of boogie boarding too.

595
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:18.000
Oh, I laugh when I see people in coats over there because I'm running around in shorts and a t-shirt and it's winter over there.

596
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:20.000
And the water is just great.

597
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:25.000
I mean, it's like a warm bath most of the time, you know.

598
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:33.000
Even when it's raining and I'm out there boogie boarding and the beaches, everybody just flees off the beaches and I'm out there by myself going, huh?

599
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:35.000
You know?

600
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:41.000
Well, I'm a Californian so I can't really, I'm kind of like one of those people.

601
00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:49.000
So like, you guys, what in your life, I mean, just gut, right now as I'm asking this question, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

602
00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:52.000
Something that you've been avoiding.

603
00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:58.000
Like, what in your life, what are you avoiding right now?

604
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:03.000
And if you have nothing, great.

605
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:11.000
But when we avoid things, they're always running in our background.

606
00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:16.000
And it's way better just to slay that dragon than let it eat us alive.

607
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:17.000
Does that make sense?

608
00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:19.000
Like, because it's always wearing you out.

609
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:28.000
I mean, the whole point of this whole thing is, let's stop the things that are wearing us out because our spirit mates are coming and we want to be ready.

610
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:31.000
And if they were to come tomorrow, are you ready to go forward?

611
00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:33.000
Right?

612
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:36.000
You know, I don't know, Jackie.

613
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:39.000
So one of the things, I want to have a fun marriage.

614
00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:42.000
You guys can choose to do whatever you like, but I want to be active.

615
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:43.000
I want to be able to dance.

616
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:45.000
I want to be able to do that stuff.

617
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:47.000
So I've been getting in shape so I can.

618
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:50.000
I had some major injuries that I've been rehabbing.

619
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.000
So I can go dancing, do whatever.

620
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:57.000
Like, if you want to do that, and that's a vision, head for that vision.

621
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:03.000
And then when she comes, you'll be ready and able to do it versus having to get ready, you know, post.

622
00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:14.000
So like, I mean, like looking forward, you know, getting your house in order, getting your physical house in order, getting your mental house, financial house.

623
00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:18.000
Like, hey, maybe, like relationships are expensive.

624
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:27.000
I don't, I don't, you know, like, you know, like, they, like, are, are you, can you set aside finances now?

625
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:29.000
I tell everybody they should have a ring fund.

626
00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:31.000
If you want to get married, you should have a ring fund.

627
00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:34.000
Even if you're putting away, squirreling away, whatever you can.

628
00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:39.000
So that way, when you find the one that you want to put the ring on, you have the money to buy it.

629
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:41.000
And you don't go into debt to do it.

630
00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:45.000
I mean, simple, simple things that add up, right?

631
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:53.000
You know, Jackie was talking about, she had a gal's group called ready for being ready for naked or something like that.

632
00:37:53.000 --> 00:38:01.000
I don't, I don't remember what it was saying, but like they were getting their bodies ready for the wedding night and being ready for that.

633
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:05.000
Like, what are you, how are you taking care of your physical things?

634
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:07.000
Are you grooming? Are you doing that?

635
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:10.000
Do you need to grow? What area do you need to grow it?

636
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:15.000
Like, you know, Jackie's like, chest hair is good, back hair is bad, you know, like, okay.

637
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:21.000
It's like, you know, but like, like, is your house a mess?

638
00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:27.000
Where somebody, what in your, what in your life?

639
00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:32.000
If you brought somebody into your life, what in it would you not want to show them?

640
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:33.000
Is it your car?

641
00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:35.000
Dude, my car is a freaking train wreck right now.

642
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:40.000
I will just say, I do not want anybody in my car because I don't even want to be in my car.

643
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.000
So one of my things is like, oh, I need to clean out my car.

644
00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:46.000
So when I have somebody, I'm not ashamed.

645
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:53.000
Like, hey dude, like really, I'm not a slob, but I just am super busy choosing to be super busy.

646
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:55.000
Right.

647
00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:58.000
You got something to say, Jess, Jesse?

648
00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:01.000
Oh, I'm just listening.

649
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:09.000
But no, I'm here at my desk right now and it's just a cluttered mess in my car.

650
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:16.000
Like you were saying, my truck looks similar and yeah, I just have a hard time.

651
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:22.000
One thing I have been doing that has been a newer habit is like making my bed every morning,

652
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:24.000
which sounds super simple.

653
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:30.000
But even if it's not made perfectly, like, I mean, it's being made almost every morning.

654
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:32.000
So that's a step.

655
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:34.000
That's a step in the right direction for me.

656
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:43.000
But I mean, yeah, I, you know, I used to share my room with my late wife and, you know,

657
00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:45.000
she would keep after things or whatever.

658
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:51.000
And so now if, you know, my dirty laundry ends up like on the bathroom floor, you know,

659
00:39:51.000 --> 00:40:00.000
and I have thought about how, yeah, like what you're just talking about with just getting ready.

660
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.000
and that sort of thing is

661
00:40:03.120 --> 00:40:06.560
Something I've been thinking about it's coming to my mind recently. It's like, you know, I should probably

662
00:40:07.160 --> 00:40:09.160
Just do a better job like maintaining

663
00:40:09.480 --> 00:40:11.480
You know a neat room

664
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:15.360
Yeah and car

665
00:40:16.520 --> 00:40:20.920
Most things have such a a an inertia

666
00:40:22.080 --> 00:40:24.080
doing them and

667
00:40:24.600 --> 00:40:29.660
Getting in the habit has its own inertia, but the longer you don't do them

668
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:34.120
That has its own inertia and I was it's just so funny

669
00:40:34.120 --> 00:40:38.640
Jesse you said that because I was thinking about that exact same thing. It's like if my wife was still alive

670
00:40:39.280 --> 00:40:42.720
she would be absolutely eviscerating me for this right now like

671
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:51.320
This bathroom floor with all these clothes is ridiculous. Why do I keep stepping over it? But I do. Yeah. Yeah

672
00:40:52.840 --> 00:40:59.540
Well, and it's not condemnation it's just hey, you know what I let the slack out now it's time to bring it back up

673
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:03.040
Or if I never knew how to do it now, it's time to learn

674
00:41:03.640 --> 00:41:09.840
Right, you know and like you say Jesse like making your bed every morning. It's it's a win

675
00:41:10.840 --> 00:41:16.760
Mm-hmm, right like you start with little wins, you know, yeah. Yeah, I did the dishes last night

676
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:23.480
You know and all of that for me. It's like Oh Valentine's Day. I knew it was gonna be a rough day for me

677
00:41:24.400 --> 00:41:27.240
there's a lot of stuff that's happened on Valentine's Day, but um, I

678
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:32.000
Did my best I went out to the gym and I did all the best things to love myself well

679
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:37.360
Like part of part of you know, I'm me not cleaning my car is not loving myself

680
00:41:37.360 --> 00:41:42.840
well, you know and so part of loving myself well as I need to clean my car, so I'm not ashamed because

681
00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:48.200
You know cleaning doing my laundry doing all this stuff that

682
00:41:50.080 --> 00:41:52.640
Isn't my favorite but it's part of

683
00:41:53.640 --> 00:41:58.080
Loving myself well and and having a place where somebody else would want to come alongside

684
00:41:59.200 --> 00:42:04.000
Because women don't want to be your maid right? Like just I'm just telling you like, you know

685
00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:09.440
I mean, they were there to help me, but they don't want to be a slave, right? And so

686
00:42:11.800 --> 00:42:18.120
There's a there's an order when you have things in order you make your bed the clothes are where they need to go

687
00:42:18.120 --> 00:42:20.120
There's not stuff on the floor

688
00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:22.160
When you come to a house that's orderly

689
00:42:22.840 --> 00:42:27.320
that has a good effect on your own psyche and then when you add a

690
00:42:27.720 --> 00:42:32.600
Another person to it your spirit mate for instance, and they come to a house that's in order

691
00:42:32.720 --> 00:42:38.360
That makes that's the way we can very easily make them feel safe that an orderly house is a safe home

692
00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:41.000
for them to nest

693
00:42:41.120 --> 00:42:45.520
well, and you're gonna feel better because you're not living in a

694
00:42:47.440 --> 00:42:49.160
Junk heap

695
00:42:49.160 --> 00:42:54.000
Right and like in the junk heap that's gonna affect you in a bad way where you're not fully yourself

696
00:42:54.000 --> 00:43:01.720
You're not your best self because you're being drugged down because you're not living in the best place. I don't know. It's funny

697
00:43:02.680 --> 00:43:05.800
Like you said order like I don't know

698
00:43:05.800 --> 00:43:10.560
There's such a piece when everything everything's in this but everything has a place and everything's in its place

699
00:43:10.560 --> 00:43:16.620
I have such a piece and so much more energy because I'm not being drugged down by everything, right?

700
00:43:17.620 --> 00:43:19.620
So like

701
00:43:20.060 --> 00:43:25.940
What's a step like what's a baby step? Maybe it's weight making your bed, right? Maybe it's I

702
00:43:26.980 --> 00:43:33.980
don't know doing your dishes, you know or get putting things in the hamper and then doing your didn't do it your

703
00:43:35.620 --> 00:43:36.700
Wash

704
00:43:36.700 --> 00:43:38.060
but

705
00:43:38.060 --> 00:43:41.180
You know, one of the things I actually had this week was a

706
00:43:41.860 --> 00:43:45.100
Conversation with a good friend a hard conversation with a good friend

707
00:43:45.340 --> 00:43:51.140
there had been some stuff building between us for a long time and that was to the point where I

708
00:43:51.500 --> 00:43:53.500
Was ready to exit

709
00:43:53.500 --> 00:43:59.660
And I didn't realize in hindsight, right? I didn't realize how much it was wearing on me, you know

710
00:43:59.860 --> 00:44:06.420
But then once we actually had the conversation and both repented of some stuff and apologized

711
00:44:06.820 --> 00:44:10.580
Now it's great and I have all that bandwidth back, but I didn't realize

712
00:44:11.820 --> 00:44:16.540
It had been sucking me down or like pulling me down because this is a good friend that I love a lot

713
00:44:16.540 --> 00:44:22.380
and I think a lot of times we don't have those hard conversations or bring up the things because

714
00:44:23.260 --> 00:44:25.380
I don't I'm not a bit huge fan of conflict

715
00:44:25.380 --> 00:44:30.860
I don't know many people are but avoiding the conflict is actually making it worse

716
00:44:31.180 --> 00:44:35.900
And that's one of the things we said I apologize for it's like hey, I should have brought this up a long time ago

717
00:44:36.420 --> 00:44:37.620
And that's on me

718
00:44:37.620 --> 00:44:41.500
Right, and now it's great and I have that amendment but like what about you guys?

719
00:44:41.500 --> 00:44:46.900
Is there any relationships or you've been afraid to have that conversation, but it's always on your mind

720
00:44:47.260 --> 00:44:50.780
That is taking your that is taking up your mental real estate

721
00:44:51.420 --> 00:44:53.780
And you need to have that combo good, you know

722
00:44:54.380 --> 00:44:56.380
I

723
00:44:56.460 --> 00:45:00.020
Mean and if that's one if that's one of your guys's action, I would love

724
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.880
For all of you guys to have one thing one thing that you walk away to that you're gonna do this week

725
00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:07.920
Like I said, if it's making your bed if it's like hey

726
00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:15.560
I need to have a conversation with my friend because we've been distant and it's or they're doing things that are driving me crazy and

727
00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:20.360
We need to have we need to have a talk or

728
00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:28.120
I need to draw boundaries with my an aging parent because I need to have a life too and

729
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:32.720
Find a way a sustainable way to do things

730
00:45:34.520 --> 00:45:39.680
You know, I need to get my finances in order and stop putting things on credit cards or I need to go

731
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:42.960
to the store and get things to make

732
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:46.240
My bean I need to get

733
00:45:46.240 --> 00:45:49.560
tortillas and bean in refried beans to make bean burritos

734
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:57.080
Because I'm eating out nine times a week and it's killing me financially, right or I need to get you know, or whatever like

735
00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:00.400
like is it fun, you know, so

736
00:46:01.480 --> 00:46:06.080
Let's just take I mean if you guys would just take a second and what is the area in your life?

737
00:46:06.080 --> 00:46:10.400
That needs the most order. Yeah, I mean, you don't have to share but I like take an assessment

738
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:15.280
It's like is it finances? Is it relationships? Is it your your house?

739
00:46:16.960 --> 00:46:22.280
And just look at that and what's something that you can do a

740
00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:25.880
Baby step you can do to improve it

741
00:46:28.120 --> 00:46:30.120
You

742
00:46:37.240 --> 00:46:42.720
Do you want us to talk about that if you want to I mean because I mean hey, I'm up for good ideas

743
00:46:44.840 --> 00:46:46.840
You know, I

744
00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:53.080
Think one thing I need to do is kind of define like what season I'm in right now

745
00:46:53.960 --> 00:46:55.960
I've kind of

746
00:46:58.680 --> 00:47:06.120
Kind of feel like I'm in a season where I'm not like I shouldn't be or don't really want to be actively pursuing

747
00:47:07.240 --> 00:47:09.240
like a

748
00:47:09.400 --> 00:47:11.360
committed like a

749
00:47:11.360 --> 00:47:13.360
exclusive like dating relationship

750
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:21.920
But at the same time I have I haven't like I've been on and off of this one dating dating app and

751
00:47:22.680 --> 00:47:30.120
Like I get messages and sometimes I'm I'm the one on there like looking, you know for people or whatever and

752
00:47:31.040 --> 00:47:35.440
Sending messages and you know, I've made a couple connections recently and

753
00:47:36.240 --> 00:47:39.360
like I went out on a date like three weeks ago and

754
00:47:40.960 --> 00:47:46.720
You know, I we both had talked about prior to that date that we weren't like really looking for like a

755
00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:50.720
We weren't really looking to date date, you know, but we were

756
00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:54.240
we had connected like six months previously and

757
00:47:56.000 --> 00:48:00.800
Reconnected prior to Christmas and anyhow, I think I just I need to

758
00:48:02.200 --> 00:48:07.200
figure out like what I'm what I'm doing right now in this season because I feel like I'm being a little bit of

759
00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:10.080
Wishy-washy, and that's created some stress

760
00:48:10.600 --> 00:48:12.600
Just how I relate to this girl

761
00:48:14.280 --> 00:48:16.280
Like I don't want

762
00:48:16.360 --> 00:48:23.060
Yeah, just that's like I had some anxiety of this over the weekend about this connection

763
00:48:23.720 --> 00:48:28.480
because like I was on I felt uneasy about like how I was handling it and

764
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:31.360
Like how like where it was headed

765
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:34.920
So

766
00:48:35.240 --> 00:48:40.820
Maybe I need to have a I don't know. Yeah. No, that's to figure out what I'm kind of what I'm doing

767
00:48:41.820 --> 00:48:46.820
Like what's the what's my plan? What is like, you know, like what is what is my intent?

768
00:48:46.820 --> 00:48:51.900
What do I want to do and I see you realize you're in this place where you're vacillating

769
00:48:52.380 --> 00:48:55.420
You know and like and it's it's affecting you

770
00:48:56.060 --> 00:49:02.220
You know like what, you know pick a direction and one way to go and determine it and then you can have the peace because you

771
00:49:02.220 --> 00:49:03.180
Know where you're going

772
00:49:03.180 --> 00:49:07.780
but yeah, yeah, and I I wonder if it's not like

773
00:49:08.780 --> 00:49:12.060
Like this girl for example, she's great in so many ways

774
00:49:13.100 --> 00:49:20.820
she's not like there's some things that you know, like she's a little taller than I would prefer, you know, and

775
00:49:21.900 --> 00:49:28.860
Maybe like maybe not as mature spiritually as I'm looking for but she definitely has like a pure heart for the Lord

776
00:49:30.100 --> 00:49:36.420
But then there's some things I really love about like I really appreciate about her that like would be like above and beyond what I was

777
00:49:36.460 --> 00:49:37.620
looking for

778
00:49:37.620 --> 00:49:39.620
all I have to say is like

779
00:49:40.060 --> 00:49:44.420
I'm asking myself is am I where I'm at just because I haven't found the right person

780
00:49:45.180 --> 00:49:52.340
You know if she was everything I was looking for I probably wouldn't be on the fence or I probably wouldn't be

781
00:49:53.020 --> 00:49:59.980
Kicking back and not moving forward, you know, so maybe that's maybe that's why I don't know or the question

782
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.140
is, are you ready?

783
00:50:02.140 --> 00:50:05.520
Because what you just shared with me, right?

784
00:50:05.520 --> 00:50:07.800
I was like, that sounds like a great girl.

785
00:50:07.800 --> 00:50:09.760
Like, yeah, okay, there's things,

786
00:50:09.760 --> 00:50:13.560
there's never gonna be somebody that matches up 100%,

787
00:50:13.560 --> 00:50:15.080
but like, you know, like, you know,

788
00:50:15.080 --> 00:50:17.720
and, but like, are you ready?

789
00:50:17.720 --> 00:50:18.960
Is it, because-

790
00:50:18.960 --> 00:50:21.120
Sure, yeah, I know, that's, yeah, that's a question.

791
00:50:21.120 --> 00:50:22.760
And I think that's, I think that's what you were,

792
00:50:22.760 --> 00:50:24.960
you were iterating, like, what do I want?

793
00:50:24.960 --> 00:50:28.280
And like, you know, and sounds like she's an amazing gal,

794
00:50:28.280 --> 00:50:29.160
and you know that.

795
00:50:30.160 --> 00:50:32.800
But you don't, you're not sure what you wanna do in that,

796
00:50:32.800 --> 00:50:34.480
which makes sense, right?

797
00:50:36.360 --> 00:50:41.360
And so yeah, Lord Jesus, help Jesse to see

798
00:50:41.520 --> 00:50:43.440
and make good choices and figure out

799
00:50:43.440 --> 00:50:45.560
which way he wants to do, help him to discern

800
00:50:45.560 --> 00:50:46.960
through all the emotions and everything,

801
00:50:46.960 --> 00:50:49.280
would you just guide him, amen.

802
00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:52.080
So that's so good, Jesse, like, yeah, thanks for being,

803
00:50:52.080 --> 00:50:54.440
thanks for sharing, that's huge.

804
00:50:54.440 --> 00:50:55.880
Hi there.

805
00:50:55.880 --> 00:50:58.640
Hey, Mr. Hunter, we're talking about,

806
00:51:00.440 --> 00:51:02.280
getting our houses in order,

807
00:51:02.280 --> 00:51:06.120
in order to be ready for whoever the,

808
00:51:06.120 --> 00:51:08.000
whenever we meet our spirit mate, and-

809
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:09.320
Okay.

810
00:51:09.320 --> 00:51:10.160
Yeah.

811
00:51:10.160 --> 00:51:13.360
I did make progress, and I just learned,

812
00:51:13.360 --> 00:51:16.320
when I went to the Bahamas, I went to travel,

813
00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:18.360
and word got to Jackie, did she tell you

814
00:51:18.360 --> 00:51:20.760
that I found a woman who was interested in me,

815
00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:22.680
but she was a long distance.

816
00:51:22.680 --> 00:51:25.720
So I said, I contact saying, all right, I'm interested,

817
00:51:25.720 --> 00:51:27.480
we try to connect, and she tried,

818
00:51:27.520 --> 00:51:29.360
and we had Zoom meetings, two Zoom meetings,

819
00:51:29.360 --> 00:51:33.600
one 45, one 50, and then she decided not to pursue it.

820
00:51:33.600 --> 00:51:35.760
We had a solid level two relationship,

821
00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:38.240
but I saw some crack, unfortunately,

822
00:51:38.240 --> 00:51:41.640
I saw some cracks that she didn't seem to be romantic,

823
00:51:41.640 --> 00:51:44.200
we never got romantic to be considered level,

824
00:51:44.200 --> 00:51:46.120
on the road to level three at all.

825
00:51:46.120 --> 00:51:48.200
I would, I just think about,

826
00:51:48.200 --> 00:51:50.640
what I need to do is not be,

827
00:51:50.640 --> 00:51:52.800
I got a little distraught because I was thinking,

828
00:51:52.800 --> 00:51:55.920
yay, you get to be family, extended family,

829
00:51:55.920 --> 00:51:57.320
and the good parts about marriage

830
00:51:57.320 --> 00:51:58.800
and people's lives coming together,

831
00:51:58.800 --> 00:52:01.200
you see in-laws, I get to be an in-law,

832
00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:03.120
she was black and it was interracial.

833
00:52:03.120 --> 00:52:06.280
So I figured that was why, that wasn't a heartbreak,

834
00:52:06.280 --> 00:52:07.760
that was kind of trading off.

835
00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:12.560
Hey, Mr. Hunter, how many dates, like, okay.

836
00:52:12.560 --> 00:52:17.120
So, after two dates, you should be like,

837
00:52:17.120 --> 00:52:18.420
do I like this person?

838
00:52:19.380 --> 00:52:21.200
Do I wanna have another date, not,

839
00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:25.000
we're gonna be family and stuff, so that,

840
00:52:26.400 --> 00:52:30.400
like, I have a tendency to do, like, project things too.

841
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:34.200
So like, two dates, it should be chill,

842
00:52:34.200 --> 00:52:35.520
getting to know each other.

843
00:52:35.520 --> 00:52:38.080
First date should be kind of like little, like,

844
00:52:39.120 --> 00:52:40.920
so it sounds like you're really,

845
00:52:40.920 --> 00:52:43.160
I know you're really growing and that's great,

846
00:52:43.160 --> 00:52:46.000
I'm sorry that that experience wasn't what you wanted,

847
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:48.920
but I've seen you grow a massive amount,

848
00:52:48.920 --> 00:52:53.440
but go slow, right?

849
00:52:53.440 --> 00:52:55.720
I just, it was never in a commit,

850
00:52:55.720 --> 00:52:58.160
we were never in committed level three relationship,

851
00:52:58.160 --> 00:52:59.520
I went slow.

852
00:52:59.520 --> 00:53:02.840
But you had two dates, is that what I, am I right?

853
00:53:02.840 --> 00:53:05.720
Well, we had video chats, but we never got in romantic.

854
00:53:05.720 --> 00:53:08.040
Are we like video, you had two video chats?

855
00:53:08.040 --> 00:53:09.020
Yes.

856
00:53:09.020 --> 00:53:14.020
That's not time to build, like, even a low-level friendship

857
00:53:14.400 --> 00:53:16.880
versus, like, a romantic relationship.

858
00:53:16.880 --> 00:53:19.880
So just, expectations are huge.

859
00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:23.160
So like, two dates is, you're just starting

860
00:53:23.840 --> 00:53:26.480
to feel each other out, or two video chats, sorry.

861
00:53:26.480 --> 00:53:28.120
I mean, like, I'm using the word date,

862
00:53:28.120 --> 00:53:31.280
but like, two interactions doesn't make.

863
00:53:32.640 --> 00:53:33.680
A level three.

864
00:53:33.680 --> 00:53:36.400
Yeah, no, you shouldn't be, like, yeah,

865
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:39.080
it wouldn't even be a level two, barely.

866
00:53:40.040 --> 00:53:43.200
So, but I'm glad you're growing,

867
00:53:43.200 --> 00:53:44.840
you're getting opportunities.

868
00:53:44.840 --> 00:53:45.680
I know.

869
00:53:45.680 --> 00:53:48.140
So you guys, we got a couple minutes left.

870
00:53:48.140 --> 00:53:49.960
I hope this was helpful.

871
00:53:49.960 --> 00:53:51.960
Like, just identify something in your life

872
00:53:52.680 --> 00:53:55.400
that's dogging you, and deal with it,

873
00:53:55.400 --> 00:53:56.920
and so that way you're ready.

874
00:53:56.920 --> 00:54:00.200
Be content, grow in the Lord, and try to invest,

875
00:54:00.200 --> 00:54:02.520
if you like a woman, try to invest in loving her

876
00:54:02.520 --> 00:54:06.320
versus seeking to be loved by her, is one.

877
00:54:06.320 --> 00:54:10.440
Yeah, but Hunter, start out with,

878
00:54:10.440 --> 00:54:13.320
let's just be friends and get to know each other.

879
00:54:13.320 --> 00:54:15.760
Because great relationships start off of friendships,

880
00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:20.760
not off of, yeah, you don't start out like,

881
00:54:22.560 --> 00:54:24.360
like a house on fire.

882
00:54:24.360 --> 00:54:27.240
Those relationships don't usually work very well.

883
00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:29.920
So usually the ones that work well

884
00:54:29.920 --> 00:54:31.880
is where you really gel with each other,

885
00:54:31.880 --> 00:54:33.840
and you dig each other, right?

886
00:54:33.840 --> 00:54:37.040
Not, so anyways.

887
00:54:37.040 --> 00:54:42.040
But you guys, thank you all for showing up.

888
00:54:43.040 --> 00:54:44.960
You know, get your house ready,

889
00:54:44.960 --> 00:54:47.360
get your house ready for your spouse, right?

890
00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:51.160
Like, you know, or get, or find out where you're at,

891
00:54:51.160 --> 00:54:53.280
whether you're ready for that.

892
00:54:53.280 --> 00:54:54.720
I mean, I think that's also another thing,

893
00:54:54.720 --> 00:54:58.280
is like, am I ready for somebody to come into my life?

894
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.620
You know, get off the doom scrolling and the things that are killing your time, or you're

895
00:55:05.620 --> 00:55:14.320
running with, and build something productive versus, like that hour, like you said, Christopher,

896
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:16.920
I could have done a lot with that hour.

897
00:55:16.920 --> 00:55:19.440
Time is a precious resource.

898
00:55:19.440 --> 00:55:25.240
What can you do to build to be the best you, to be ready for the relationship, or to just

899
00:55:25.240 --> 00:55:29.320
improve yourself, right?

900
00:55:29.320 --> 00:55:37.820
It's so easy to get, to just survive and to just kind of roll with the flow, right?

901
00:55:37.820 --> 00:55:44.720
You know, but it's time to like put your foot down and actually do something, and that way,

902
00:55:44.720 --> 00:55:49.680
this time next year, you're gonna be a completely different person in a different place, right?

903
00:55:49.680 --> 00:55:53.320
If you stay the same, nothing will change, right?

904
00:55:53.320 --> 00:55:58.680
I hope that, you know, I hope that, I know this is not the most exciting thing, but like

905
00:55:58.680 --> 00:56:03.560
you do little things like make your bed every morning, it builds, like, and you just keep

906
00:56:03.560 --> 00:56:05.320
building off of that.

907
00:56:05.320 --> 00:56:10.200
Next thing you know, you're gonna be rolling down the hill doing tons of stuff that really

908
00:56:10.200 --> 00:56:12.840
changes your life.

909
00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:14.520
Like exercising and jiu-jitsu.

910
00:56:14.520 --> 00:56:22.120
Yeah, no, I mean, I try to go to the gym, like, up until this week, I've been averaging

911
00:56:22.120 --> 00:56:30.200
like six times a week, but just because I have a vision that I want to have a dynamic

912
00:56:30.200 --> 00:56:34.080
relationship with my spirit mate, and I want to be able to dance, I want to go to do things,

913
00:56:34.080 --> 00:56:38.360
I want to go scuba diving, I want to do all that stuff, and I need to be in shape so I

914
00:56:38.360 --> 00:56:40.120
can, right?

915
00:56:40.120 --> 00:56:48.080
And I also want to be around to, I want a lot of, a great relationship for a long time,

916
00:56:48.080 --> 00:56:49.080
and I don't want health issues.

917
00:56:49.080 --> 00:56:56.440
I mean, obviously, you can't mitigate everything, but man, if you're, if you have a good diet

918
00:56:56.440 --> 00:57:01.600
and you're exercising, you're gonna be healthier more often than not, right?

919
00:57:01.600 --> 00:57:05.760
So love y'all, appreciate y'all, can I pray us out?

920
00:57:05.760 --> 00:57:10.240
And then we'll, so Lord Jesus, would you just help us to see the things in our life that

921
00:57:10.240 --> 00:57:16.160
are hamstringing us, that are hindering us, would you help us see the spots that we need

922
00:57:16.160 --> 00:57:19.040
to handle so we're ready for our spirit mate?

923
00:57:19.040 --> 00:57:22.200
Would you be doing the same in their lives?

924
00:57:22.200 --> 00:57:30.320
Would you give us a vision for what's to come and help us to walk that out, Lord, but most

925
00:57:30.320 --> 00:57:36.680
of all, would we just feel your love, and would you be sustaining us with that love,

926
00:57:36.680 --> 00:57:44.360
and that way, in the waiting, we're not striving for things that are not of you.

927
00:57:44.560 --> 00:57:48.320
I pray you protect each one of these men, their minds, their spirit, their emotions.

928
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:54.800
Would you encourage them and yeah, just guide them as in every step, be a lamp to their

929
00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:59.920
feet, a lamp to their feet and a light to their path, and Lord, we're just excited for

930
00:57:59.920 --> 00:58:02.920
all that you're gonna do, in Jesus' name, amen.

931
00:58:02.920 --> 00:58:03.920
Amen.

932
00:58:03.920 --> 00:58:06.400
Hey, have a blessed week, y'all.

933
00:58:06.400 --> 00:58:07.560
I'm grateful for you.

934
00:58:07.560 --> 00:58:08.560
Take care.

935
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:09.560
You too.

936
00:58:09.560 --> 00:58:10.560
Thank you.

937
00:58:10.560 --> 00:58:10.560

