WEBVTT

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Hey, y'all, how are y'all tonight?

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Can y'all hear me?

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Yeah.

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Great.

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Great.

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Oh, great.

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I didn't hear.

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Did y'all hear the little thing that say recording in progress that you see a pop up?

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Okay, I didn't hear it.

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It is so good to see all of y'all.

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I feel like I'm flying in with great speed.

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So I guess I'll attribute that to the Lord.

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I'm just going to open this up in prayer.

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Father God, we thank you for tonight.

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We thank you for kingdom wisdom and understanding.

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I thank you, God, that you know our hearts better than we know our own.

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So I pray now, Lord God, that for every question that's asked, Holy Spirit, that you would

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give us the root of the issue so that we may get things done and get them done well.

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In Jesus name, amen.

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How have we been this week, ladies?

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Been well?

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Yeah.

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Is there anyone that this is your first time on 8 p.m.?

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Paula, is this your first time?

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No.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Well, I'm sorry.

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Have you ever asked a question before?

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No.

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No.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Well, good.

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There's nobody.

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It's your first time.

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Welcome to all.

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So I'm going to see if we've got any housekeeping.

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You guys just remember that it's not mandatory that you're dating to come.

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I'm glad you're doing good, teacher.

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It's not mandatory that you date or that you get seven dates.

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And I just want y'all to remember that so you won't feel that pressure.

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It is good for you to date.

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It is good for you to grow, but it's not mandatory.

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So there shouldn't be a pressure on you to make something happen.

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Right?

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I believe there is an aggression about it.

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Laura, is this your first time on with us?

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It is.

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Hello.

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Thanks for welcoming me.

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I've been doing the program, but this is my first time joining a call.

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Yes.

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Thank you.

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Oh, well, welcome.

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We're so happy to have you.

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I'm Ebony.

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I'm your APM coach, and I live in Austin, Texas.

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Hey.

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Hey.

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Oh, no.

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Is there Rosanna's children in the background?

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I'm so sorry.

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I'm sorry.

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Sorry.

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It's okay.

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It's okay.

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We're children friendly.

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So, yeah.

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So that's a reminder.

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You guys, be sure to watch the video content, all the teachings that Jackie has available

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because they're really good, and they really help you grow.

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We say do about one per week.

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Remember, ladies, you can relax in this phase, too.

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You don't have to feel the burden to coach your fellow sisters.

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You can encourage them.

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You can come in.

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You can share your life stories.

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But try to take out your counselor hat, your coaching hat, and just let us do the coaching

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and counseling.

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You do the supporting and the sharing and the uplifting and letting them know that they

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have a friend in you, you know, letting them know that you relate to what they are going

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through.

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And let's see.

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Please don't be offended if a post seems to be skipped or feels that it's overlooked.

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It's not overlooked.

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It's not skipped.

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We all know that we've been having some bugs with the app, and so that causes for a lot

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of issues, a lot of, you know, and particularly if we say something and you reply, we just

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never see it.

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And sometimes we have to look into la-la land, to the la-las of land to find it.

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And so if you've ever responded to us and we didn't respond, you can make a post and

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say, hey, I responded to you on this post.

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Can you go check it out?

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It is totally acceptable.

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It's not rude.

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You can do it as soon as you post it if you want, literally.

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And so we want you to know that that really helps a lot.

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We don't want you to rush through this phase.

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Sometimes when you get in phase two, it feels like everything's slowed down.

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So if I just make it to phase three, I'll get to phase three where it's co-ed and then

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I'll get the pick from the cream of the crop.

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And so let me just hurry up and get past phase two so I can get in phase three so I can have

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everything laid out for me because I have been waiting on my Amazon package to come

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to the door.

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And I just know without a shadow of a doubt when I get to phase three, these men have

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been in the program just like me and they're going to be perfect and wonderful and they're

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going to let no good thing.

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And I'm going to go over there and give me one and it's going to be perfect, just like

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I imagined from the beginning.

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Ah, the answer.

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So it's not like that.

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It's not going to happen like that.

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And so you should enjoy your time of phase two, but the reason I really do encourage enjoying

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phase two is because this is a phase and you're going to keep growing. You never stop growing.

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Sometimes we get really discouraged and we're like, I thought I was done with the hard work.

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You're never done with the hard work. As long as you're a human being that was programmed by other

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human beings, that were cultivated by humans, we have a lot of growing to do. We have a lot

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of bending to do. We have a lot of compromising to do. And that's just the way it works because

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we live in the world with other human beings that came from a different background. And it doesn't

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even matter if you came from the same background. Communication is a part of life. It's a give,

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it's a take, it's a listen, it's an observer sort of thing. And so I just want to assure you that

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you're in really good hands in phase two and growth is very possible and it's possible for you.

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Dating is a wonderful way to grow because nothing taps at your heart. Like when somebody gets close

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and you think you like them, rejection comes up, the walls come up, past trauma comes up,

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all types of things come up. When you have to not be entitled, when you have to show grace,

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when you have to show mercy, when you have to go against things that could cause you to hurt

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yourself, everything happens. And that's why people don't prefer to date. So enjoy phase two.

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We're with you. We're standing with you. We want to grow with you and we want to see you expand.

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You guys don't forget that we have one-on-one coaching. You can go and we have a plethora of

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coaches that you can choose from. They're all amazing. And so you can always schedule a one-on-

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one coaching session if you have to dig through something that's more than we can handle.

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All right. So tonight you ladies were supposed to come camera ready. And so I see a beautiful red

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shirt. You know, I was a little late to the game, so I pulled some red lipstick and I was like,

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oh no, it is that day. And so when I got home, I went on my regular walk, but I forgot that I

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was looking probably a little ratchet and I was like, oh no, too close. And so some of you guys

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look wonderful. And so it's so good to see you looking so beautiful ladies. And so it's so good

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to see y'all just kind of flipping through now, going through everybody. Yikes, this is not my

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camera ready. It's a good thing you look good anyway. And so who wants to tell me something

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that they tried different with the camera ready this time? Anybody tried a new color,

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hairdo? Talk to me about it. You can just unmute and go for it.

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I did Velcro rollers this morning because I knew I had a long day, but it's fallen.

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Yeah. And I went for a walk too. So yeah, you have beautiful hair.

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Thank you. You're welcome. I want me some long hair, but I got to save up for it.

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Got to buy it. My hair is long straight now, but it's going to go,

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somebody else is going to say straight. All right. Thank you Rosanna for participating.

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You look beautiful as always. Okay, go. I'm going to say your name wrong and I don't want to,

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but it's K-A-N-Y-I-N. You look gorgeous. Thank you, Ebony. You can call me Connie.

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Say it again. Connie. You can call me Connie. That's my nickname. Connie. Connie. Okay.

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Makes it easier. But yeah, I actually recently went to Sephora.

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So yes, I did try out some new makeup today. Yeah. Yeah. You're glowing.

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Thank you. You're welcome. That sweater, is that like a reddish? It looks good on you.

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Yeah. It's a red kind of knit thing. Funny enough, I bought it for an ugly Christmas

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sweater party. I just went to Target and I picked whatever sweater I could find.

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And now it's become a favorite. Wow. I think you have such a beautiful

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complexion and the colors like that just pop out of your skin complexion. It's really beautiful.

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Thank you. It's the Fenty Foundation.

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Y'all know, I don't know anything about foundations and makeup. It's the strangest thing. I like it

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on people, but I just don't know how to do it. Even when I do do it, I be like, I'm going to

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sweat it out. I'm not going to put it on. Oh, Patty went to the store to ask for help with makeup.

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Okay. Tell us about that.

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experience?

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It was, you know,

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you know, it was it was good.

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They they helped me with,

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you know, eye shadow I already had

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because I had bought it from that

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store.

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And then they sold me

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some makeup.

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But, you know, I took notes

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on everything that they said and

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and I'm working on it.

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Let's put it that way.

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And you're working

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out. I think I want to go give me

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some makeup done.

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I wonder how it's going to look.

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You know, some people face be beat

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to the core and I don't know

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how to do it.

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And so it's just like I want to

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look like that. I tried to do a

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smokey eye one time.

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It didn't work out.

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So.

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But that's good, Patty,

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I'm excited for you.

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Karen, you look especially pretty

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tonight.

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It's just did you wake up like

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that?

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Me?

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Yeah, it's like you're glowing.

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No, I actually put eye makeup on

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this morning. I forgot about

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the whole camera ready thing.

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But

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yep, just took the hair down because

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I think it's better than up in

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a video.

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OK, all right.

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OK, well, anybody else want to

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share, ladies?

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Lauren, did you do something

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special?

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You're really pretty.

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No, it's hard to tell.

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All you ladies are so beautiful.

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So it's so are you.

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Thank you.

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It's just hard to tell.

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I don't know. Go for it, Laura.

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Sorry, I'm getting used to this.

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This is, I would say, a relaxed

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look for me.

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I didn't know that we were

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coming camera ready.

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So this is I'm in my sweatshirt.

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But I will say, because I have done

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a lot of online dating,

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this is my setup, this

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room. And I do have a

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light right here.

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Even though it's night here,

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there's light on my face.

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And then I actually even set this

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room up that my computer,

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there's a window right behind it.

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So in the day, it's natural light

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that comes on.

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So this this is my camera ready.

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If I do online dates, please.

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Yeah, but this is a casual

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look for me right now.

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OK, OK.

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Well, she said something

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that it is a big deal.

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Can't the lighting.

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It does matter a lot.

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Because like if I turn my light off

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now, can you tell

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how dark it gets?

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Anybody? Did you see the difference?

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Yeah. And so lighting

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can do you can put

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on makeup if you don't have really

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good lighting, it doesn't reflect

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the same. And so especially natural

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light just really helps

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when you're on the camera,

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00:12:55.080 --> 00:12:56.080
how you have it.

253
00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:57.000
And that's kind of what we're going

254
00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:58.480
to talk about a little bit tonight.

255
00:12:59.080 --> 00:13:00.360
So we'll have much more time for

256
00:13:00.360 --> 00:13:02.160
coaching as well, because this

257
00:13:02.160 --> 00:13:03.440
doesn't take as much time.

258
00:13:03.440 --> 00:13:05.440
But in the face of

259
00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:07.360
coming out of hiding, a lot of us

260
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:08.960
are going to set up video dates or

261
00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:10.400
you're going to do a lot of FaceTime

262
00:13:10.760 --> 00:13:12.320
if you do. I mean, you know, that's

263
00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:13.320
not a requirement.

264
00:13:13.640 --> 00:13:15.440
It's very possible if you do

265
00:13:15.440 --> 00:13:17.480
an online date that you're going

266
00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:19.720
to do some video calls,

267
00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:21.400
that you're going to do some FaceTime

268
00:13:21.680 --> 00:13:23.240
calls. Sometimes we want to see

269
00:13:23.240 --> 00:13:24.440
people before we meet them.

270
00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:25.440
That's not a requirement.

271
00:13:25.480 --> 00:13:26.960
I'm just saying a lot of this

272
00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:27.960
happens.

273
00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:30.080
And so your

274
00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:31.520
setup does matter.

275
00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:33.600
And.

276
00:13:35.520 --> 00:13:36.880
Some parts of me like to say, well,

277
00:13:36.880 --> 00:13:38.160
how will you look matters?

278
00:13:38.400 --> 00:13:40.120
I think there's something beautiful

279
00:13:40.120 --> 00:13:41.640
about a woman who naturally is

280
00:13:41.640 --> 00:13:43.520
beautiful. And so even though like

281
00:13:43.520 --> 00:13:44.920
Laura has a sweatshirt on, I

282
00:13:44.920 --> 00:13:46.360
couldn't tell it was a sweatshirt.

283
00:13:46.400 --> 00:13:47.680
She's comfortable, but she looks

284
00:13:47.680 --> 00:13:48.680
very pretty.

285
00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:50.520
Right. And so I think that there are

286
00:13:50.520 --> 00:13:51.920
two ways that you can go with it.

287
00:13:51.920 --> 00:13:53.520
And of course, you can be all dolled

288
00:13:53.520 --> 00:13:55.200
up because it is a video date and

289
00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:56.960
you are meeting someone and someone.

290
00:13:57.160 --> 00:13:59.080
And so I don't think anything is off

291
00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:00.840
limits as long as you're

292
00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:02.880
comfortable and you do look

293
00:14:02.880 --> 00:14:03.880
refreshed.

294
00:14:04.520 --> 00:14:06.440
And excited and you carry

295
00:14:06.440 --> 00:14:07.760
an excitement within you.

296
00:14:07.760 --> 00:14:08.960
And I know that you're going to be

297
00:14:08.960 --> 00:14:10.040
nervous. Right.

298
00:14:10.280 --> 00:14:11.680
And for some reason,

299
00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:13.760
I don't care who you are.

300
00:14:13.880 --> 00:14:15.880
You can see people over the camera

301
00:14:15.880 --> 00:14:17.480
forever. You know, if you ever worked

302
00:14:17.480 --> 00:14:18.720
in those Zoom meetings all the time

303
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:19.760
when you meet the person, you'd be

304
00:14:19.800 --> 00:14:21.280
like, that's you?

305
00:14:22.800 --> 00:14:25.120
I don't know what it is.

306
00:14:25.720 --> 00:14:28.120
And so like even as much as I

307
00:14:29.920 --> 00:14:32.200
meet with Bethany, right,

308
00:14:32.920 --> 00:14:35.240
it meet with individuals

309
00:14:35.240 --> 00:14:36.600
here within the L.Y.S.

310
00:14:36.600 --> 00:14:38.240
community, when I saw them, it was

311
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:40.160
like, oh, hey.

312
00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:41.640
And it's just like, oh, wow.

313
00:14:41.640 --> 00:14:42.880
You can't tell if a person's really

314
00:14:42.880 --> 00:14:44.360
short or if they're taller.

315
00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:46.760
Just so many different things.

316
00:14:46.760 --> 00:14:48.720
And so you want

317
00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:50.880
to, you want to do your best.

318
00:14:50.880 --> 00:14:52.240
And I believe that you're going to do

319
00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:53.560
your best because you guys are

320
00:14:53.560 --> 00:14:54.800
absolutely amazing.

321
00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:56.800
And you want a husband and you know

322
00:14:56.800 --> 00:14:58.320
that means see with their eyes.

323
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.700
They're more visual than us.

324
00:15:01.700 --> 00:15:03.660
And so you look good for yourself.

325
00:15:03.660 --> 00:15:05.620
As long as you're looking good for yourself,

326
00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:08.660
you've got to look good for everybody that meets you.

327
00:15:08.660 --> 00:15:12.900
And so that's just kind of how that goes.

328
00:15:12.900 --> 00:15:16.020
So we talked about camera.

329
00:15:16.020 --> 00:15:19.140
And you want to, ideally, you want the camera

330
00:15:19.140 --> 00:15:22.180
to be where the top part, at least where your shoulders are.

331
00:15:22.180 --> 00:15:24.340
Because most of the time, if you get about here,

332
00:15:24.340 --> 00:15:26.580
you can see how a person really looks, right?

333
00:15:26.580 --> 00:15:30.680
Or you can tell their body shape or how much even weight

334
00:15:30.680 --> 00:15:34.320
they're carrying, if the screen is as far as the shoulders.

335
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:36.040
Even when you do head shots, if you

336
00:15:36.040 --> 00:15:39.160
catch a certain top part of the body to about right up in here,

337
00:15:39.160 --> 00:15:43.640
you can really pretty much see the fullness of a person.

338
00:15:43.640 --> 00:15:46.280
So mostly, right?

339
00:15:46.280 --> 00:15:49.640
And so our camera positioning doesn't matter.

340
00:15:49.640 --> 00:15:51.720
What's in our background doesn't matter.

341
00:15:51.720 --> 00:15:53.640
I look back at one of our replays,

342
00:15:53.640 --> 00:15:56.520
and I was like, I did not know my background was

343
00:15:57.460 --> 00:15:59.820
going to look like that that day.

344
00:15:59.820 --> 00:16:03.300
Or I'll listen back to myself and say, I talk too fast.

345
00:16:03.300 --> 00:16:04.700
Or I didn't know I sound that way.

346
00:16:04.700 --> 00:16:07.500
But most of the background, I was like, oh, wow.

347
00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:08.820
I didn't know.

348
00:16:08.820 --> 00:16:10.820
It just felt very comfortable to me.

349
00:16:10.820 --> 00:16:13.420
And so our background doesn't matter.

350
00:16:13.420 --> 00:16:15.020
And so you want to be mindful of that.

351
00:16:15.020 --> 00:16:18.000
Have you ever seen somebody who makes a social media

352
00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:21.340
video in the bathroom or in the bedroom,

353
00:16:21.340 --> 00:16:22.460
and the bed is junky?

354
00:16:22.460 --> 00:16:26.060
You kind of be like, did you think through that?

355
00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:27.680
Why, people?

356
00:16:27.680 --> 00:16:29.880
Why did we do this?

357
00:16:29.880 --> 00:16:31.440
And it's not trying to judge, but it's

358
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:32.960
like glaring in your face.

359
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:34.600
And it's just like, wow.

360
00:16:34.600 --> 00:16:36.280
I think when you get used to the camera,

361
00:16:36.280 --> 00:16:38.680
you forget about everything else that is around you.

362
00:16:38.680 --> 00:16:41.320
And you get used to talking on the camera all the time.

363
00:16:41.320 --> 00:16:43.080
And so, oh, yeah, or on the dating app,

364
00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:44.600
some of the pictures that they take,

365
00:16:44.600 --> 00:16:46.160
you ladies be mindful of that, too.

366
00:16:46.160 --> 00:16:48.460
Some of the things that are happening in your background

367
00:16:48.460 --> 00:16:51.160
or around the table with you, it shows up.

368
00:16:51.160 --> 00:16:53.760
And you can look back at a picture and be like, whoa.

369
00:16:53.780 --> 00:16:55.820
I didn't know that was in the picture.

370
00:16:59.500 --> 00:17:01.860
And just to kind of, like I said,

371
00:17:01.860 --> 00:17:04.140
this talk was going to be kind of short,

372
00:17:04.140 --> 00:17:08.819
just wrapping this up about you guys.

373
00:17:08.819 --> 00:17:11.460
Oh, yeah, that's true, Rosanna.

374
00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:14.020
Online dating is just a tool.

375
00:17:14.020 --> 00:17:16.020
And sometimes we get really tired of it,

376
00:17:16.020 --> 00:17:18.260
and we'll think that I don't want to stop

377
00:17:18.260 --> 00:17:19.500
because I may miss somebody.

378
00:17:19.500 --> 00:17:20.400
I want to keep partnering.

379
00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:21.220
I want to keep going.

380
00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:22.020
I want to keep partnering.

381
00:17:22.020 --> 00:17:23.099
I want to keep going.

382
00:17:23.099 --> 00:17:26.440
But online dating is just a tool.

383
00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:28.880
You don't have to online date forever.

384
00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:29.760
Take a break.

385
00:17:29.760 --> 00:17:33.840
You're not missing a spouse by not being on the dating app.

386
00:17:33.840 --> 00:17:36.120
I am telling you, as much as you would

387
00:17:36.120 --> 00:17:39.680
like to think that, God is just so much bigger.

388
00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:41.360
He is just so much bigger.

389
00:17:41.360 --> 00:17:43.720
You can meet a person.

390
00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:46.920
I know it sounds strange, even to my own mind.

391
00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:50.560
But getting you married is a light thing to the Lord.

392
00:17:50.580 --> 00:17:52.500
And so my mind would say, well, is it light?

393
00:17:52.500 --> 00:17:54.140
When we going to get it done?

394
00:17:54.140 --> 00:17:56.500
Well, he's just timing.

395
00:17:56.500 --> 00:17:58.500
He don't quite think like I do.

396
00:17:58.500 --> 00:17:59.860
But it's a light thing.

397
00:17:59.860 --> 00:18:03.700
And so please, do not stress yourselves out

398
00:18:03.700 --> 00:18:04.620
with online dating.

399
00:18:04.620 --> 00:18:06.460
When you need to take a break, take a break.

400
00:18:06.460 --> 00:18:08.380
I don't care if it's a month, it's two months.

401
00:18:08.380 --> 00:18:10.820
I don't care if you don't piggyback up.

402
00:18:10.820 --> 00:18:11.780
It's just what it is.

403
00:18:11.780 --> 00:18:13.100
It's not the only way.

404
00:18:13.100 --> 00:18:18.220
And when you show up, just show up as yourself.

405
00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:20.680
I've heard people say so many times

406
00:18:20.680 --> 00:18:23.880
that dating can be one of the biggest scams ever,

407
00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:25.960
because people send their representative,

408
00:18:25.960 --> 00:18:27.920
and they don't show up as themselves.

409
00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:30.960
But I want to encourage you to show up as yourself.

410
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:34.600
There's no better person for them to meet than you.

411
00:18:34.600 --> 00:18:36.880
And so with that being said, if we're

412
00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:38.400
going to show up as ourselves, we

413
00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:40.920
have to make sure that ourselves is

414
00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:45.760
our best version of ourselves, right?

415
00:18:45.760 --> 00:18:47.520
Because there's a version of us all,

416
00:18:47.540 --> 00:18:49.620
and then there's a better version of us all,

417
00:18:49.620 --> 00:18:52.020
and there's the best version of us all.

418
00:18:52.020 --> 00:18:55.740
Because we continue to evolve, and our entire lives,

419
00:18:55.740 --> 00:18:56.660
we're evolving.

420
00:18:56.660 --> 00:18:59.340
If you're not evolving, that means you're stagnant,

421
00:18:59.340 --> 00:19:00.780
and you're not willing to change,

422
00:19:00.780 --> 00:19:01.940
or you don't want to change.

423
00:19:01.940 --> 00:19:03.180
You've become stuck.

424
00:19:03.180 --> 00:19:05.860
And we want to get you unstuck.

425
00:19:05.860 --> 00:19:08.580
And so that's why we listen to Jackie on Saturdays,

426
00:19:08.580 --> 00:19:10.260
to get us unstuck.

427
00:19:10.260 --> 00:19:14.660
That's why we read books and materials,

428
00:19:14.660 --> 00:19:16.560
and we get in communities of people

429
00:19:16.580 --> 00:19:18.860
who are moving in a direction that we want to go,

430
00:19:18.860 --> 00:19:22.420
because that really does get you unstuck from where you are.

431
00:19:22.420 --> 00:19:24.980
When everybody around you is moving in the direction

432
00:19:24.980 --> 00:19:28.660
that you desire to go, it's easier to jump on the bandwagon

433
00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:30.380
and move with the flow.

434
00:19:30.380 --> 00:19:32.740
You know how a herd will stay together,

435
00:19:32.740 --> 00:19:35.040
and they'll all move in one direction together

436
00:19:35.040 --> 00:19:35.860
when one moves?

437
00:19:35.860 --> 00:19:36.740
All of them move.

438
00:19:36.740 --> 00:19:38.980
They usually don't break out and go out by themselves.

439
00:19:38.980 --> 00:19:42.020
Even cows, when they herd them, they all get in one group,

440
00:19:42.020 --> 00:19:43.740
and they just go in one direction.

441
00:19:43.740 --> 00:19:45.860
And that's what it's like when you're in community,

442
00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:48.840
especially around those who carry the heart that you have

443
00:19:48.840 --> 00:19:51.720
and want to go the direction that you also desire to go in.

444
00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:54.260
And so those are just a little thoughts on that.

445
00:19:55.720 --> 00:19:57.560
When we do discovery dating,

446
00:19:57.560 --> 00:19:59.960
I want to remind you that discovery dating.

447
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.000
is not husband deciding or deciding on my husband.

448
00:20:05.940 --> 00:20:07.920
This is a very challenging thing

449
00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:10.280
for us to get through our minds.

450
00:20:10.280 --> 00:20:12.160
One, because we don't want to,

451
00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:15.400
because we've told ourselves certain scenarios

452
00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:16.960
and certain stories.

453
00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:19.280
But dating for discovery in phase two

454
00:20:19.280 --> 00:20:21.600
is not about finding your spouse.

455
00:20:21.600 --> 00:20:24.620
We believe that God does the heavy lifting.

456
00:20:25.140 --> 00:20:30.140
We believe that this phase is designed for you

457
00:20:31.980 --> 00:20:36.880
to grow in your capacity for marriage.

458
00:20:38.740 --> 00:20:42.220
And that's why we are always ever encouraging you

459
00:20:42.220 --> 00:20:44.220
on all of the boundaries and the order

460
00:20:44.220 --> 00:20:47.860
into which to operate so that you can safeguard your heart

461
00:20:47.860 --> 00:20:51.180
as much as you can in this process.

462
00:20:51.180 --> 00:20:56.180
And that the journey can be a safe journey for you, right?

463
00:20:57.740 --> 00:21:01.140
So work with that as much as you can.

464
00:21:01.140 --> 00:21:03.040
And one thing that I would tell myself

465
00:21:03.040 --> 00:21:05.900
over and over and over again, until I get it down,

466
00:21:05.900 --> 00:21:09.320
and it takes a while, I will say, he's not your husband.

467
00:21:09.320 --> 00:21:11.700
It doesn't matter, he's not your husband.

468
00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:13.180
Yep, it doesn't matter, he's not your husband.

469
00:21:13.180 --> 00:21:15.860
Even when the boxes start shaking, he's not your husband.

470
00:21:15.860 --> 00:21:16.820
Why did I do that?

471
00:21:16.820 --> 00:21:19.180
Because there was a law working inside of me

472
00:21:19.180 --> 00:21:21.940
that I couldn't stop it every time I looked at a man.

473
00:21:21.940 --> 00:21:24.900
Or every time I saw a man, my thought would be,

474
00:21:24.900 --> 00:21:25.900
is he the one?

475
00:21:25.900 --> 00:21:26.740
He could be.

476
00:21:26.740 --> 00:21:27.660
Is he the one?

477
00:21:27.660 --> 00:21:28.500
He could be.

478
00:21:28.500 --> 00:21:30.020
And then every time it didn't work out,

479
00:21:30.020 --> 00:21:32.340
the letdown was so much harder.

480
00:21:33.720 --> 00:21:36.780
Because you don't realize how much you have riding on,

481
00:21:36.780 --> 00:21:38.760
is he the one?

482
00:21:38.760 --> 00:21:41.460
That is a heavy load that you don't know you're carrying

483
00:21:41.460 --> 00:21:44.260
and you're building up all of this hope and anticipation

484
00:21:44.260 --> 00:21:45.820
that God is doing it, God is doing it,

485
00:21:45.820 --> 00:21:47.260
and you're on a faith journey.

486
00:21:47.260 --> 00:21:49.820
So when you meet a man and you're on a faith journey,

487
00:21:49.820 --> 00:21:53.980
it is an innate thing to believe that that's the one.

488
00:21:56.060 --> 00:22:00.140
So what you have to do is when you're in this program

489
00:22:00.140 --> 00:22:03.580
and you're being guided and you're growing

490
00:22:03.580 --> 00:22:06.820
and you're expanding, you have to implement some things

491
00:22:06.820 --> 00:22:08.820
to tell you where you are.

492
00:22:08.820 --> 00:22:11.180
You got in a program that started with hard work,

493
00:22:11.180 --> 00:22:13.500
you moved into phase two, and in phase two,

494
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:15.260
you come to sharpen yourself,

495
00:22:15.260 --> 00:22:17.740
you come to be expanded and to grow.

496
00:22:17.740 --> 00:22:19.380
Hence the seven days challenge,

497
00:22:19.380 --> 00:22:21.020
not seven days to a husband,

498
00:22:21.020 --> 00:22:24.460
a seven day challenge to expand you, to help you grow,

499
00:22:24.460 --> 00:22:25.980
to help you see what you like,

500
00:22:25.980 --> 00:22:27.980
to help you learn how to show forgiveness

501
00:22:27.980 --> 00:22:29.460
and mercy and grace.

502
00:22:29.460 --> 00:22:32.860
Because if everything worked out good for you,

503
00:22:32.860 --> 00:22:34.980
you will be happily married by now, but you're not.

504
00:22:34.980 --> 00:22:36.660
So that means along this journey,

505
00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:38.780
some things has happened to all of us.

506
00:22:40.220 --> 00:22:43.340
We've been broken, we've been hurt, it's called life.

507
00:22:43.340 --> 00:22:45.980
So there are some things naturally gonna show up.

508
00:22:47.900 --> 00:22:49.740
Where would they go?

509
00:22:50.700 --> 00:22:52.300
But with inside of you,

510
00:22:53.380 --> 00:22:57.820
and so it is imperative that we don't carry that around

511
00:22:57.820 --> 00:23:01.100
because that sets us up for deep wounds

512
00:23:01.100 --> 00:23:03.740
that really hurt if you keep planning

513
00:23:03.740 --> 00:23:05.740
that everyone is the one.

514
00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:08.540
And I know that a lot of us have trouble with it

515
00:23:08.540 --> 00:23:11.140
because it took me a really long time

516
00:23:11.140 --> 00:23:14.740
to understand the beauty and the value of this relationship,

517
00:23:14.740 --> 00:23:16.340
I mean, of this program.

518
00:23:16.340 --> 00:23:18.980
And it took some growing and it took some things

519
00:23:18.980 --> 00:23:21.420
to kind of just wheel itself out of me, right?

520
00:23:21.420 --> 00:23:23.180
After I got tired of doing it my way

521
00:23:23.180 --> 00:23:24.940
and I was like, okay, all right.

522
00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:26.180
Oh, Jackie is right.

523
00:23:26.180 --> 00:23:27.980
Oh, okay, this is right.

524
00:23:27.980 --> 00:23:29.060
I see now.

525
00:23:30.100 --> 00:23:31.740
And that's okay too

526
00:23:31.740 --> 00:23:34.300
because you have a safe community to do that in.

527
00:23:34.300 --> 00:23:36.980
You have a safe community to get to the end of yourself.

528
00:23:36.980 --> 00:23:39.860
And as soon as you can get to the end of yourself,

529
00:23:39.860 --> 00:23:41.300
the better off you'll be.

530
00:23:43.340 --> 00:23:46.660
You know, if you ever run for a very long time,

531
00:23:46.660 --> 00:23:48.620
at some point you're going to get tired.

532
00:23:48.620 --> 00:23:50.820
And then when you get tired, the help can come.

533
00:23:50.820 --> 00:23:54.740
So that's not exactly what we're going to be talking

534
00:23:54.740 --> 00:23:57.900
about tonight, but I just wanted to say that to y'all.

535
00:23:57.900 --> 00:23:59.260
It's posted all the time.

536
00:23:59.260 --> 00:24:00.940
We're posting this all the time.

537
00:24:00.940 --> 00:24:03.300
And then there's this also, I want to address,

538
00:24:03.300 --> 00:24:06.380
I saw this post, a level of confusion that happens.

539
00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:07.420
So this is what happened.

540
00:24:07.420 --> 00:24:09.220
When you say, says a yes, tells us a no,

541
00:24:09.220 --> 00:24:10.180
but I don't know.

542
00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:12.620
And then he, I don't know.

543
00:24:12.620 --> 00:24:13.500
Should I accept this?

544
00:24:13.500 --> 00:24:14.340
Should I accept that?

545
00:24:14.340 --> 00:24:15.180
I don't know.

546
00:24:15.180 --> 00:24:16.020
It's a yes, tell us a no.

547
00:24:16.020 --> 00:24:17.140
But then I got to get back out there

548
00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:18.380
because they said, don't give up.

549
00:24:18.380 --> 00:24:20.420
And so it's so much coming at you at one time.

550
00:24:20.420 --> 00:24:21.260
You hear the supernatural,

551
00:24:21.260 --> 00:24:22.420
say it, I'm going to get back out there.

552
00:24:22.420 --> 00:24:23.700
Then you start and this happens.

553
00:24:23.700 --> 00:24:25.820
And then don't give up, keep going.

554
00:24:25.820 --> 00:24:26.900
It's a yes, tell us a no.

555
00:24:26.900 --> 00:24:29.140
But yeah, he really is not my type.

556
00:24:29.140 --> 00:24:30.260
Oh, don't worry about that.

557
00:24:30.260 --> 00:24:31.820
You don't know what God can be doing.

558
00:24:31.820 --> 00:24:33.140
It's a yes, tell us a no.

559
00:24:33.140 --> 00:24:36.180
And so it's like, it's all these messages coming at you.

560
00:24:36.180 --> 00:24:38.140
And if any of you guys experienced that,

561
00:24:38.140 --> 00:24:40.660
that was my experience also.

562
00:24:40.660 --> 00:24:43.340
And so you just kind of like kind of weave your way.

563
00:24:43.340 --> 00:24:45.540
Well, he said he really don't know Jesus,

564
00:24:45.540 --> 00:24:46.660
but I know it's a yes, tell us a no

565
00:24:46.660 --> 00:24:48.060
because you really don't know what God can do.

566
00:24:48.060 --> 00:24:49.300
But I really don't want to talk to somebody

567
00:24:49.300 --> 00:24:50.140
who really don't know Jesus,

568
00:24:50.140 --> 00:24:51.420
but I guess I just got to do it anyway

569
00:24:51.420 --> 00:24:52.420
because this is what I'm supposed to do.

570
00:24:52.420 --> 00:24:53.780
So you just go back in.

571
00:24:53.780 --> 00:24:57.860
It's tussling and I don't want you to carry that

572
00:24:57.860 --> 00:25:00.060
and go through this process by faith.

573
00:25:00.800 --> 00:25:03.920
Because it's a faith journey and a faith journey comes with its own load.

574
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:11.520
And so I want to simplify it for you. You're in phase two and in phase two,

575
00:25:11.520 --> 00:25:15.040
you come to expand yourself for your kingdom marriage.

576
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:23.120
And every man that you meet is not your husband, but if you do meet him, he is your husband,

577
00:25:23.120 --> 00:25:30.480
you will know about it. Trust me, you will get the memo that he is the one. And in the meantime,

578
00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:36.720
treat everyone like part of your journey. I want you to remember that you are not in partnership

579
00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:41.440
with the man that you meet. You're in partnership with heaven. And see, sometimes when we meet

580
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:45.920
somebody and they seem like they're the one, we switch sides and we think we're in partnership

581
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:53.920
with them. And it's what they said, and what they said, and what they said, and that they said,

582
00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:57.440
and I can't believe they did this, but you're not in partnership with them.

583
00:25:58.080 --> 00:26:05.840
You're in partnership with heaven. And it's what does the father say? What does wisdom say?

584
00:26:05.840 --> 00:26:12.080
What does order say? What does boundary say? That's your safe place. You don't know this

585
00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:19.040
man enough to trust him to be a safe place for you. I don't care how much you feel like you click.

586
00:26:19.040 --> 00:26:22.720
You didn't know a problem more than three or four days. It's just the truth of the matter,

587
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:28.160
but you've been walking with the father all of this time. And so let's not be thrown off guard.

588
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:34.000
Don't get thrown off track by that. It's so easy to do and it happens so quickly,

589
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:39.920
but I am telling you that wisdom is your safe guard. Boundaries keep you safe.

590
00:26:40.560 --> 00:26:48.880
And so, all right. And so do we have any questions about being camera ready,

591
00:26:51.200 --> 00:27:01.280
eye level, where the camera should be placed? If anyone needs a ring light, they have these really

592
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:08.720
cheap, all of them are less expensive, but this is just a little one that I clip on top of my

593
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.800
computer. And I've had another one and it came with this thing and also, and so a ring light

594
00:27:14.800 --> 00:27:20.880
would be really good. They even have them for your phone. I like to do a lot of FaceTime. And so I

595
00:27:20.880 --> 00:27:25.440
don't have a ring light on my phone though, but they have them for that. Oh, good. Pamela said

596
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:31.760
she got hers today. So we want to be eye level or slightly above. We want our arm. We want the

597
00:27:31.760 --> 00:27:37.840
camera to be, now this computer camera is not arm length away from me, but arm length away would be

598
00:27:37.840 --> 00:27:43.600
here. Now it does make a difference, right? Because you see more, I am away, but I'm closer

599
00:27:43.600 --> 00:27:49.840
because for some reason in my mind, I believe if I'm closer to the camera, I'm closer to y'all.

600
00:27:49.840 --> 00:27:56.800
It's not true, but it feels that way to me. And then you want to stabilize your phone. You don't

601
00:27:56.800 --> 00:28:01.280
want things shaking like this. You can tell when things are shaky, if you're hitting your leg

602
00:28:01.280 --> 00:28:17.440
against something. So yeah. Any questions, any thoughts? Does anybody want any feedback?

603
00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:25.760
No. Did we have a good time with the activations

604
00:28:26.560 --> 00:28:34.320
this past week? Who enjoyed the activation? Who got some deep healing? Yeah. Rosanna,

605
00:28:34.320 --> 00:28:41.840
does anybody want to share? Just go for it. You could just unmute and share your time.

606
00:28:41.840 --> 00:28:44.560
Oh, I'm sorry. Claudia had her hand up. I'll wait for her to go first.

607
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:49.040
Okay. Go for it. Hi, good afternoon, everybody.

608
00:28:49.120 --> 00:28:57.520
Good afternoon. Sorry, I'm still driving from work, so I'm sorry. That's why I was like,

609
00:28:57.520 --> 00:29:06.720
do your test. Well, you could say that basically since February 1st, I've actually

610
00:29:09.760 --> 00:29:18.560
kind of went up to phase three. I'm very excited. Yes. I've been sharing on Faith

611
00:29:18.560 --> 00:29:25.840
Fridays because it's just been growing. Wait, Claudia. I thought right now we were sharing

612
00:29:25.840 --> 00:29:33.360
about- Oh, shoot, shoot. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry. I don't know. I'm

613
00:29:33.360 --> 00:29:39.200
starting to have a little problem. It goes in and out, and so sometimes I'm so sorry.

614
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:46.480
No, Claudia, stop it, girl. This is our session. You're okay. But we're sharing about the

615
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:54.240
activation. Oh, yes. But no, those were wonderful. I think that it was great hearing from last week.

616
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:59.200
I was listening to it, and I actually had my hand up to share from-

617
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.360
when, when we were activating from last week and I didn't have a, we, I was one of the

618
00:30:05.360 --> 00:30:09.240
ones that, one of the ones that didn't have a chance to, to share.

619
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:10.240
So, but it's okay.

620
00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:16.960
So do you, do you want to share your, um, you want to share about the activation that

621
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:18.000
we had for this week?

622
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:20.960
Something the Holy Spirit revealed to you?

623
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:26.640
I just, I've just been feeling a lot of, uh, I've been feeling a lot of Holy Spirit lately.

624
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:27.640
I'm so grateful.

625
00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:36.040
Um, but, um, I don't, I mean, like I said, I, I, but I think that maybe, um, uh, maybe

626
00:30:36.040 --> 00:30:41.960
the other girls probably have more of a, yeah, I can share later on because right now I want

627
00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:44.120
to stay, I want us to stay on topic.

628
00:30:44.120 --> 00:30:45.120
It's, it's, it's fine.

629
00:30:45.120 --> 00:30:49.000
I'll, I'll, I'll have the girls share first.

630
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:50.000
Okay.

631
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:51.720
Well, keep, you can just keep your hand up.

632
00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:52.720
It's not a problem.

633
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:53.720
All right.

634
00:30:53.720 --> 00:30:59.880
So go, Rosanna, was it you go ahead and share what, what was revealed to you?

635
00:30:59.880 --> 00:31:03.760
I had, um, I saw a lot of similar passages with some of the women.

636
00:31:03.760 --> 00:31:09.520
Um, so I was struggling with, um, uh, my appearance and I don't know what my problem is.

637
00:31:09.520 --> 00:31:13.520
It's like, it's actually something very deep rooted in me that I'm still asking the Lord

638
00:31:13.520 --> 00:31:15.360
to help me with.

639
00:31:15.360 --> 00:31:21.200
And, um, so just, I feel like some of it is that I was like, okay, men can tell me I'm

640
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:23.280
beautiful on a screen, but that doesn't mean anything.

641
00:31:23.840 --> 00:31:24.840
I don't know who you are.

642
00:31:24.840 --> 00:31:25.840
You're behind something.

643
00:31:25.840 --> 00:31:27.280
And I just want to like be told to my face.

644
00:31:27.280 --> 00:31:30.480
And so I was like really struggling, like, father, my, my attractive, like, why don't

645
00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:32.160
people, why don't men come up to me?

646
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:34.040
Like, why don't they say anything?

647
00:31:34.040 --> 00:31:38.960
And um, I know some of it was, I've been told it's intimidation, but I'm like, I'm smiling,

648
00:31:38.960 --> 00:31:39.960
I'm happy.

649
00:31:39.960 --> 00:31:41.880
And, and I'm like, I don't get it.

650
00:31:41.880 --> 00:31:45.000
So I was sitting with the father and I'm like, Lord, what is going on?

651
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.520
Like what, why is this so deep rooted?

652
00:31:47.520 --> 00:31:53.480
And, um, I wrote down that I had to tell myself the truth was like, well, I'm not pretty

653
00:31:53.480 --> 00:31:54.920
enough or I'm not good enough.

654
00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:59.880
And the truth that I put on was one 39, someone 39, 14, like I'm fearfully and wonderfully

655
00:31:59.880 --> 00:32:00.880
made.

656
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:02.360
And, um, it's on my screen.

657
00:32:02.360 --> 00:32:06.360
I put it on my, my, my wall of my, uh, my wallpaper so I could look at it.

658
00:32:06.360 --> 00:32:09.280
I think Patty had the same verse and I think another woman put that on too.

659
00:32:09.280 --> 00:32:11.600
And it was really encouraging to see that.

660
00:32:11.600 --> 00:32:14.160
And so I kept on telling myself, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

661
00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:15.320
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

662
00:32:15.320 --> 00:32:19.680
And I was trying to read it in different versions just so I could see if like, uh,

663
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.800
just, you know, different words can uplift you in a different way.

664
00:32:22.800 --> 00:32:26.080
And I actually told the father, I was like, I would just want a man to tell me I'm beautiful

665
00:32:26.080 --> 00:32:27.080
to my face.

666
00:32:27.080 --> 00:32:28.080
Lord.

667
00:32:28.080 --> 00:32:31.720
Like, I just, I want to believe you because you're, it's so easy for me to see other women

668
00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:34.040
inside and out of how beautiful they really are.

669
00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:39.600
And once you get to know them, how even more exquisite they are as a person.

670
00:32:39.600 --> 00:32:43.680
And so I want, I was like, father, let me look at the way that you view me.

671
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:46.080
And so anyway, I had ended up having an appointment.

672
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:50.680
I had a telehealth appointment that day and, um, the nurse practitioner on there is a very

673
00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:51.680
good looking man.

674
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:58.560
So we were chatting and he was like, so I, um, I have sleep apnea, so I have the whole

675
00:32:58.560 --> 00:33:00.760
mask and everything, which is like cracks me up.

676
00:33:00.760 --> 00:33:05.120
But anyway, he, he's aware of it and I told him, I was like, I'm not sleeping a lot in

677
00:33:05.120 --> 00:33:06.120
this.

678
00:33:06.120 --> 00:33:07.120
Can I, can you tell me why?

679
00:33:07.120 --> 00:33:10.200
And I was just like, yeah, I'm, I'm kind of like doing dating apps.

680
00:33:10.200 --> 00:33:12.360
So this is like my only time because I'm a single mother.

681
00:33:12.360 --> 00:33:16.240
And so like, just so I kind of opened up and I was like, yeah, there's just a lot going

682
00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:17.240
through my head.

683
00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:18.240
Blah, blah, blah.

684
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:20.360
And he professionally said, he's like, well, you're, you're an attractive woman.

685
00:33:20.360 --> 00:33:23.480
Any man who gets with you is, is going to be very lucky.

686
00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:24.480
And I was like, huh?

687
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:29.760
Like, it was just almost like that, that, um, it was that morning I had asked the Lord

688
00:33:29.760 --> 00:33:32.200
for a man to tell me it was beautiful to my face.

689
00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:34.640
And he said I was attractive and he was cute.

690
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:38.880
I was trying to be a little flirtatious, I was like, calm it down, calm it down.

691
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:45.440
But anyway, um, the Lord keeps on showing me that and I had, I had two dates lined up

692
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:50.240
back to back, like, and they both had to reschedule with me and I was really bummed and I had

693
00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:54.760
to stop and being like, it's not you, it's not you.

694
00:33:54.760 --> 00:33:55.880
Things come up and all that stuff.

695
00:33:55.880 --> 00:33:58.600
So cause like we take it on, it was like, maybe they don't want to see me cause I've

696
00:33:58.600 --> 00:33:59.600
been stood up before.

697
00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:02.520
I've, I've had all that stuff happen and you take it personally.

698
00:34:02.520 --> 00:34:07.720
But then both of them rescheduled and deliberately said, Hey, what days can we be with you?

699
00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:08.719
Or like all that stuff.

700
00:34:09.560 --> 00:34:11.400
So it made me feel good, but I'm glad I went to the Lord.

701
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:15.679
I made other plans to go do something else, but he helped me like tweak my thoughts of

702
00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:19.520
like, remember who you are, remember that you're my daughter and I'm going to take care

703
00:34:19.520 --> 00:34:20.520
of you.

704
00:34:20.520 --> 00:34:22.120
And you guys keep on saying we're God defended.

705
00:34:22.120 --> 00:34:24.360
And so I'm trying to remind myself of that as well.

706
00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:25.920
Like what does God defended mean?

707
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:27.480
Father, show me.

708
00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:28.920
And so I keep on saying that.

709
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:32.040
So I think that was part of the activation of like, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made

710
00:34:32.040 --> 00:34:34.920
versus the lie of like, I'm not pretty enough.

711
00:34:34.920 --> 00:34:38.639
So it seems kind of shallow, I suppose, but I'm not going to, I'm not going to shrink

712
00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:43.080
on that because this is something I just struggle with, you know, so that's what I appreciated

713
00:34:43.080 --> 00:34:44.080
about the activation.

714
00:34:44.080 --> 00:34:45.080
Yeah.

715
00:34:45.080 --> 00:34:46.679
That was so good.

716
00:34:46.679 --> 00:34:50.840
And under believing we're pretty enough is actually, it's not shallow.

717
00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:52.239
It's something that we struggle with.

718
00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:58.160
Um, and a lot of times it's birthed from father's give identity.

719
00:34:58.160 --> 00:35:00.040
And, um, when father,

720
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.000
Others don't, and not to say your father didn't, Rosanna,

721
00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:04.320
I don't know.

722
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:07.240
But even when I was about 36, I had to ask my dad,

723
00:35:07.240 --> 00:35:08.680
was I beautiful?

724
00:35:08.680 --> 00:35:10.400
Because the little girl in me still

725
00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:15.240
needed to hear that she needed from my father

726
00:35:15.240 --> 00:35:16.760
that I was beautiful.

727
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:20.600
And so those are real roles that have to be played in our lives.

728
00:35:20.600 --> 00:35:23.600
And when we don't hear what we need to hear,

729
00:35:23.600 --> 00:35:26.920
very young in age, we struggle with, am I beautiful?

730
00:35:26.920 --> 00:35:30.360
And the thing about it is I'm going to tell you something.

731
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:32.360
They say beauty is truly within, and it

732
00:35:32.360 --> 00:35:35.360
is because people can tell you that you're

733
00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:37.000
beautiful all day long.

734
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:40.640
You will look in that mirror and still not see beauty

735
00:35:40.640 --> 00:35:42.560
because you're not looking.

736
00:35:42.560 --> 00:35:46.440
You don't look with the eyes that you think you look with.

737
00:35:46.440 --> 00:35:48.640
And it's an interesting thing about beauty

738
00:35:48.640 --> 00:35:51.240
because everybody can tell you how beautiful you are.

739
00:35:51.240 --> 00:35:52.600
They say, oh, you're so pretty.

740
00:35:52.600 --> 00:35:53.160
You're so pretty.

741
00:35:53.160 --> 00:35:53.600
You're so pretty.

742
00:35:53.600 --> 00:35:54.800
When you look in the mirror, you're

743
00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:55.840
going to find something.

744
00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:58.320
Sometimes we'll find something to pick apart

745
00:35:58.320 --> 00:35:59.840
about the way we've been designed

746
00:35:59.840 --> 00:36:01.040
and the way we've been made.

747
00:36:01.040 --> 00:36:03.800
And I don't meet many women that haven't done it.

748
00:36:03.800 --> 00:36:06.800
And I look at them, and I'm like, you're perfect.

749
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:08.920
And they'll be like, well, I need to lose 5 pounds.

750
00:36:08.920 --> 00:36:12.200
And I understand everybody.

751
00:36:12.200 --> 00:36:14.440
It's like there's a certain way in their own body.

752
00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:16.160
I have a friend.

753
00:36:16.160 --> 00:36:19.960
I'm telling you, she's probably a book 25 weight.

754
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:22.160
And she just kept saying, oh, I just

755
00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:23.560
need to get rid of these 5 pounds.

756
00:36:23.560 --> 00:36:27.720
I said, you say one more thing about that 5 pounds.

757
00:36:27.720 --> 00:36:30.120
Now, you want to trade bodies with me?

758
00:36:30.120 --> 00:36:31.960
She's like, what, Ebony?

759
00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:33.880
And I said, yes or no.

760
00:36:33.880 --> 00:36:34.880
Well, shut up.

761
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:37.600
Shut it up about these 5 pounds.

762
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:40.040
You are 120 pounds.

763
00:36:40.040 --> 00:36:41.040
Shut it up.

764
00:36:41.040 --> 00:36:42.440
Just shut it up.

765
00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:43.880
You wear size 1.

766
00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:45.040
Shut it up.

767
00:36:45.040 --> 00:36:47.320
What do you want?

768
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:51.400
But it's just like everybody has something

769
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:53.680
that we can find to keep being critical.

770
00:36:53.680 --> 00:36:55.840
And it does happen on the inside thing.

771
00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:59.440
And that's what I love so much about your journey, Rosanna,

772
00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:00.840
what the Lord did for you.

773
00:37:00.840 --> 00:37:03.160
You are not alone in that.

774
00:37:03.160 --> 00:37:07.360
I can attest that that has been my own journey, even

775
00:37:07.360 --> 00:37:11.480
in my health journey and losing weight.

776
00:37:11.480 --> 00:37:14.280
And when I look in the mirror, and though it's

777
00:37:14.280 --> 00:37:18.400
about health for me, and I could say, well, I have a ways to go.

778
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:21.200
But there is a, I like me now.

779
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:25.000
But I know that more weight loss helps my joints.

780
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.280
So those are those things.

781
00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:31.360
But I still see the 400-pound woman.

782
00:37:31.360 --> 00:37:33.000
She's not there.

783
00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:36.640
But I will tend to look through those lens.

784
00:37:36.640 --> 00:37:38.640
And it's like, that's not who you are.

785
00:37:38.640 --> 00:37:42.680
So I know so much about who we are shaped from inward thoughts

786
00:37:42.680 --> 00:37:45.400
and what we're listening to every day,

787
00:37:45.400 --> 00:37:47.000
the thoughts we have toward ourselves.

788
00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:48.480
So that's a beautiful journey.

789
00:37:48.960 --> 00:37:50.560
I've been on the same and stay on.

790
00:37:50.560 --> 00:37:55.560
So I know that Sarah, Sarah just posted something in the comment.

791
00:37:55.560 --> 00:37:59.560
Also, Sarah, I asked you to give me a private Spanish lesson,

792
00:37:59.560 --> 00:38:01.320
teach me how to teach Spanish.

793
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:07.320
Did you see my, I'm sorry, did you see my post to you?

794
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:08.200
I did.

795
00:38:08.200 --> 00:38:11.480
And I responded, I would love to.

796
00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:12.400
Really?

797
00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:14.200
So can I send you an email?

798
00:38:14.200 --> 00:38:15.560
Yeah.

799
00:38:15.560 --> 00:38:17.560
OK, I'll send you an email about that.

800
00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:20.680
OK, thank you.

801
00:38:20.680 --> 00:38:25.560
All right, who else wanted to share just a quick two-minute?

802
00:38:25.560 --> 00:38:27.480
Just a quick two-minute.

803
00:38:27.480 --> 00:38:29.440
Is that a poop background?

804
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:32.480
And then roll President Trump's response.

805
00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:35.680
Oh, OK.

806
00:38:35.680 --> 00:38:38.680
All right, I'm back.

807
00:38:38.680 --> 00:38:41.640
Who else wanted to share particular

808
00:38:41.640 --> 00:38:46.040
about the activation for like the next two minutes?

809
00:38:46.040 --> 00:38:47.520
Dee?

810
00:38:47.520 --> 00:38:48.040
Hello.

811
00:38:48.040 --> 00:38:49.160
So good to see you.

812
00:38:49.160 --> 00:38:49.680
Hello.

813
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:50.560
Good to see you.

814
00:38:50.560 --> 00:38:54.000
All right, so I just had a look at the activation.

815
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:56.200
You were talking about the one from two days ago.

816
00:38:56.200 --> 00:38:57.000
Yeah.

817
00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:59.280
I am so excited because I had no idea about it,

818
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:00.680
but I've been doing it anyway.

819
00:39:00.680 --> 00:39:02.760
So I actually wanted to share what's

820
00:39:02.760 --> 00:39:04.360
been happening in my life.

821
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:09.880
And literally, the suggestions of what I've been doing anyway.

822
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:14.680
I haven't been active in LOIS for a little while.

823
00:39:15.200 --> 00:39:20.440
So one of the things that's happened is I

824
00:39:20.440 --> 00:39:24.480
did an inner healing session.

825
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:26.600
And something broke off that I didn't know was there.

826
00:39:26.600 --> 00:39:28.720
It was something from my childhood.

827
00:39:28.720 --> 00:39:33.040
And it was a big integral part of just so much

828
00:39:33.040 --> 00:39:34.320
that's been going on in my life.

829
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:35.760
So it's massive.

830
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:37.040
And so I broke it off.

831
00:39:37.040 --> 00:39:37.960
I felt free.

832
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:41.960
It was like hallelujah, amazing, stomping on the enemy's head.

833
00:39:41.960 --> 00:39:44.800
I'm doing my dancing, and I'm just praising the Lord.

834
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:48.160
And then within that hour, I did some stretches,

835
00:39:48.160 --> 00:39:49.480
wanted to go for a run.

836
00:39:49.480 --> 00:39:51.760
And I tweaked something.

837
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:53.120
So I've been in pain ever since.

838
00:39:53.120 --> 00:39:54.880
I've had this back thing.

839
00:39:54.880 --> 00:39:56.560
But the thing is, I know it's connected.

840
00:39:56.560 --> 00:39:59.320
I felt like it was maybe like residual energy that

841
00:39:59.320 --> 00:40:01.400
wasn't quite shifting.

842
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.960
did from that, because it's been a lifelong load that I've been carrying that I broke off,

843
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:10.080
does that make sense? So I felt like it's an emotional thing. Anyway, in my introspection,

844
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:14.480
I've been going through all of these things, like, you know, I'm very conscious of these

845
00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:20.080
things anyway. So I'm reading this and I'm blown away just looking at what you've written, because

846
00:40:20.080 --> 00:40:24.640
it's all of that. I've made the decisions to, you know, declutter certain things, you know,

847
00:40:24.640 --> 00:40:31.280
I moved last year and I'm working through things and boundary, everything, everything is I look at

848
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:34.960
all the areas of my life. And so I'm just blown away. And I can tell you that in the past,

849
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:40.880
we even I've been in pain, I haven't, I didn't get to church, because I don't even think I can

850
00:40:40.880 --> 00:40:46.640
drive, you know, so it's not even like I can take a walk to ease, you know, to help relieve things.

851
00:40:46.640 --> 00:40:50.240
So I've got a lot of people praying for me at the moment. But the point is, I just want to say that

852
00:40:50.240 --> 00:40:58.960
I am so I'm feeling so good, because I'm free of that, that yoke. But also, to report in a sense,

853
00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:05.440
is a testimony that this is working, it works anyway, and it's working. So I've got a mastermind

854
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:10.560
happening tomorrow, masterclass, a live masterclass. And it's something that I think you're aware of.

855
00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:15.760
But it's something that the enemy for me has literally been trying to hold me back from doing

856
00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:21.200
for five years. And I take responsibility as well, you know, my own mental blocks, whatever

857
00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:26.800
thing that life's been like thing for me. And I'm just reporting that it's happening tomorrow.

858
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:31.520
It's massive, because it's going to set so many people free, you know, just with the legalities

859
00:41:31.520 --> 00:41:36.000
and all of that. And because I'm targeting faith based, you know, entrepreneurs and all that. But

860
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:41.520
the point is, I just want to report testify that I didn't even know about this activation. I didn't

861
00:41:41.520 --> 00:41:46.800
get to listen to the supernatural. I didn't know, but I've been doing it. I felt it in my spirit to

862
00:41:46.800 --> 00:41:52.000
do it anyway. So it's a beautiful thing. Because, you know, this community even is a new thing for

863
00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:56.000
me getting used to community and like minded. So the fact that we've been on the same page,

864
00:41:56.000 --> 00:42:01.360
but I didn't even know it. And I've been feeling like I've got to catch up on the recent calls last

865
00:42:01.360 --> 00:42:06.000
week. And I think there were any maybe I don't know. But I usually catch up if I don't attend.

866
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:09.920
And I felt like I couldn't find any. And I'm like, okay, I'm just going to jump in on Tuesday.

867
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:18.800
And we're all aligned. It's beautiful. So yeah, way to go. Yeah, way to go. Thank you for dropping

868
00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:26.400
in. Dee is in phase three, but she stops by to see us from time. Can't do without you. Oh, my gosh.

869
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:32.640
Oh, my gosh. But also, I don't know if this is for now or later. So stop me if you need to.

870
00:42:33.520 --> 00:42:37.120
But, you know, I've had this dating thing that I'm just not going to do for a while. I wanted

871
00:42:37.120 --> 00:42:42.400
to focus on work. The thing that broke off helped as well. So even since the back thing,

872
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:46.800
something lifted, because I'm now ready to get back on the apps again. So I've had a ladies,

873
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:51.760
if you don't know, I had a little break around the kind of just past Thanksgiving season until

874
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:58.400
recent weeks. So I'm telling you, that is a heavy boulder that's gone. So I jumped in today into FB.

875
00:42:58.400 --> 00:43:02.960
And I have a question. Tell me if it's not appropriate. But it's more about I don't know

876
00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:07.520
if you've heard of Facebook Light, anyone, the app. I've downloaded Facebook Light because I've

877
00:43:07.520 --> 00:43:12.160
got the main Facebook, but I need that for my main profile, which is where my business things

878
00:43:12.160 --> 00:43:17.280
are linked. And so I found accidentally Facebook Light and it allows you to have a second Facebook

879
00:43:17.280 --> 00:43:23.120
profile. And that's what I use to do my dating on. But it's light. So some of the some of the

880
00:43:23.120 --> 00:43:27.280
things available aren't fully available on Facebook dating. So I'm just I don't know,

881
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:31.120
I just kind of maybe wanted to brainstorm about what I can do because I don't think I'm getting

882
00:43:31.120 --> 00:43:35.760
the full benefit. I'm getting enough where I'm seeing who likes me, whatever, but I can't change

883
00:43:35.760 --> 00:43:40.880
my bio. The reason I'm using that is because when I switch between profiles on the main app,

884
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:45.760
it sometimes locks me out and I can't get back in again. So I decided to find another way and

885
00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:50.480
I found this way. Anyway, I don't know if that's taking away from the current focus, but.

886
00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:53.200
Yeah, that's what's happening.

887
00:43:53.440 --> 00:43:54.800
So what's the question?

888
00:43:55.760 --> 00:44:00.560
So the question is exactly. It's not quite a question. It's more like a this is what's

889
00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:07.120
happening and I feel like now I'm back again. I'm ready to date online. I'm not having.

890
00:44:09.680 --> 00:44:13.920
Just what your thoughts are on how to get around this app thing on Facebook dating.

891
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:19.360
Ark is not happening. I've stopped my profile. I've ended my subscription, so I'll run out next

892
00:44:19.440 --> 00:44:25.280
month on that. I'm still on there, but I'm going to give that a pause for a while. But the point

893
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:29.440
is, it's more of a statement. And just to see if you had any thoughts about that, about Facebook.

894
00:44:29.440 --> 00:44:38.480
Right side. I don't know. What's the what can you do about the app per se? I will have to

895
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:44.080
brainstorm some more about that. But one thing I do want to say for you, because of where you are

896
00:44:45.040 --> 00:44:54.160
in your dating journey, I do want you to be be a little bit more narrower in your search.

897
00:44:54.160 --> 00:44:57.440
So you want to start looking for more spirit deep.

898
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.880
and much more alignment. You've been in this for a while now, much longer time. And so

899
00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:14.600
you do want to be, I want to encourage you to start narrowing things down a bit. If that

900
00:45:14.600 --> 00:45:15.600
makes any sense.

901
00:45:15.600 --> 00:45:21.960
You mean as in what I'm looking for or just like the apps I'm using or?

902
00:45:21.960 --> 00:45:26.600
Start fine tuning the men that you accept to keep company with. And I'm not saying that

903
00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:33.920
you weren't doing that, but I am saying you have been at this for a great number of months.

904
00:45:33.920 --> 00:45:39.480
You've been in this process. And so that will be my encouragement to you when it comes to

905
00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:45.360
you and dating that you start fine tuning your search and by that fine tuning, there's,

906
00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:53.840
it's gonna eliminate a lot and that's okay. Because you can only marry one person. And

907
00:45:53.840 --> 00:46:02.320
so if you can't get the Facebook dating app back to whatever you need to date, I want

908
00:46:02.320 --> 00:46:12.400
to somehow, if you can try to, you know, do more things where you out and about where

909
00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:18.680
you can meet people or go to events, if you can, I know your schedule is pretty busy.

910
00:46:18.680 --> 00:46:25.240
I think that will be really good for you because I would like to see you date people

911
00:46:25.240 --> 00:46:32.680
that are more local, even though I know that can be a challenge as well.

912
00:46:32.680 --> 00:46:39.880
But yeah, those are my thoughts about you dating and just to remind you of that.

913
00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:44.720
Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah. Especially with the app, because one of the

914
00:46:44.720 --> 00:46:48.320
things is it won't allow me to see all of the person's profile because it's a light

915
00:46:48.320 --> 00:46:53.120
app. And so I'll get a notice that like some of the, you know, some of the things don't

916
00:46:53.120 --> 00:46:57.680
match what you're looking for. And I don't, I can't always see whether they're smokers

917
00:46:57.680 --> 00:47:02.960
or whatever, for instance, I can see things, basic things. So anyway, and then I'll find

918
00:47:02.960 --> 00:47:06.360
out too late, you know, because it's not obvious because of the app.

919
00:47:06.360 --> 00:47:09.760
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's the light. Okay.

920
00:47:09.760 --> 00:47:12.640
It's the light. Yeah. And so I don't know how to get around it. Because if I switch

921
00:47:12.640 --> 00:47:16.440
to my normal, the normal Facebook app, I might get blocked out of getting back into

922
00:47:16.440 --> 00:47:22.040
my other account. And it's been two years and I'm in, I'm in full flow with what I'm

923
00:47:22.040 --> 00:47:25.040
doing with my business. So I kind of don't want to risk it again.

924
00:47:25.040 --> 00:47:30.640
You can't create a new page, then you won't have any local friends. And so you won't be

925
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:37.560
able to. And so yeah, let's just, maybe the app is not going to be app friendly for you

926
00:47:37.560 --> 00:47:40.640
this go round. Okay, I'll just try and maybe find another

927
00:47:40.640 --> 00:47:46.160
one. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. I really appreciate your time. Thank

928
00:47:46.160 --> 00:47:54.520
you so much. Of course, you're welcome, Dee. Yes, good to see you also, always. I don't

929
00:47:54.520 --> 00:48:00.880
know if Claudia came back on, but I think that you were next. It was Deidre or Connie.

930
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:05.920
It was you Connie, go ahead. I saw you. Yeah, I think so. So yeah, I'll be really quick.

931
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:14.200
So also similar to me, I was already kind of doing the activation when I saw it after

932
00:48:14.200 --> 00:48:20.720
I heard it on Supernatural Saturday, which I also had to watch the replay afterwards

933
00:48:20.720 --> 00:48:25.600
because I was traveling for work last week. So that was kind of cool to find out that

934
00:48:25.600 --> 00:48:30.680
hey, I was already kind of doing this stuff. So the activation that I'd started and I posted

935
00:48:30.680 --> 00:48:37.120
one of them where I was, there's a particular, I guess, I don't know, testing or whatever

936
00:48:37.120 --> 00:48:42.320
that one of my colleagues had encouraged me to do. She was like, Oh, when I was your age,

937
00:48:42.320 --> 00:48:45.600
you know, I got all this stuff done and all this testing and she said, you should you

938
00:48:45.600 --> 00:48:53.240
should definitely do it now. And so I finally did several months later. And then also something

939
00:48:53.240 --> 00:48:59.960
that I think Jackie had said, on the call that I heard on the Supernatural Saturday

940
00:48:59.960 --> 00:49:03.480
is something that I already started doing this year at the beginning of this year. And

941
00:49:03.480 --> 00:49:08.320
so one of my best friends and I, we don't live in the same place anymore. But we meet

942
00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:15.000
every right now we're doing it every month, where we have a little call. And we talk about

943
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:20.880
like our goals, like what are what are we trying to get done this year? And yeah, basically,

944
00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:26.200
yeah, basically just like a goal check in. And we've had one so far this year, we're

945
00:49:26.200 --> 00:49:31.320
gonna have another one this Sunday coming up. And so that was also something I think

946
00:49:31.320 --> 00:49:37.040
Jackie had mentioned, like, tracking something, getting accountability. And then, yeah, so

947
00:49:37.040 --> 00:49:44.920
I guess that's it for me for that. So yay. Wow, that's so good. Thanks for the update.

948
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:54.960
Yeah, awesome. Um, Deidre, give me one and also latest is Deidre on mute. I put that

949
00:49:55.000 --> 00:50:00.000
I saw a little back and forth about what was the, the activation I post.

950
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.160
If you ladies saw it, it's like super long.

951
00:50:03.160 --> 00:50:05.840
It looks long, but that's the activation.

952
00:50:05.840 --> 00:50:07.640
If you all saw it.

953
00:50:07.640 --> 00:50:10.880
And then one other thing before you start teaching.

954
00:50:12.760 --> 00:50:14.560
Theta, is that how you say your name?

955
00:50:14.560 --> 00:50:16.160
T-H-E-D-A.

956
00:50:18.160 --> 00:50:19.360
Or is it Theta?

957
00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:21.000
It's Theta, yeah.

958
00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:21.840
Hey, Theta.

959
00:50:23.800 --> 00:50:25.240
Hello.

960
00:50:25.240 --> 00:50:27.000
How are you?

961
00:50:27.000 --> 00:50:29.040
I'm good, I'm hiding out in here.

962
00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:32.040
It's so good to see you.

963
00:50:32.040 --> 00:50:35.120
I've been thinking about you.

964
00:50:35.120 --> 00:50:36.640
Really?

965
00:50:36.640 --> 00:50:37.480
Yeah.

966
00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:41.400
So anyway, yeah, I was wondering,

967
00:50:42.360 --> 00:50:44.400
you looking like, why is she doing this?

968
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:45.840
I know.

969
00:50:45.840 --> 00:50:48.320
Well, I know that, you know, the last time we talked,

970
00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:50.880
how long have you been in phase two?

971
00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:54.800
Just started, so I was not camera ready, as you can tell.

972
00:50:55.240 --> 00:50:57.840
So I was ducking in the bushes.

973
00:50:57.840 --> 00:50:59.800
Until I called you out like that.

974
00:50:59.800 --> 00:51:02.160
And then you made me turn my camera on.

975
00:51:02.160 --> 00:51:05.200
No, I just started this week, so.

976
00:51:05.200 --> 00:51:06.040
Okay.

977
00:51:06.040 --> 00:51:08.000
Yeah, so I didn't, I wasn't ready.

978
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:10.560
I didn't have the, I didn't, I wasn't prepared, so.

979
00:51:10.560 --> 00:51:11.400
It's okay.

980
00:51:11.400 --> 00:51:14.800
No, no, well, I just saw you on there.

981
00:51:14.800 --> 00:51:16.960
I didn't want to take a chance with you getting a wave.

982
00:51:16.960 --> 00:51:19.480
And I was like, wait a minute, is that her?

983
00:51:19.480 --> 00:51:22.560
Because I wondered if you decided to jump on camera.

984
00:51:22.560 --> 00:51:25.400
I wondered if you decided to jump on board.

985
00:51:25.400 --> 00:51:27.560
And so, welcome to phase two.

986
00:51:27.560 --> 00:51:28.880
So good to see you.

987
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:30.160
Thank you.

988
00:51:30.160 --> 00:51:31.040
You're welcome.

989
00:51:31.040 --> 00:51:32.200
Okay, Deidre, go ahead.

990
00:51:32.200 --> 00:51:34.440
Sorry about that, Deidre.

991
00:51:34.440 --> 00:51:35.600
That's okay.

992
00:51:37.240 --> 00:51:39.000
First of all, if you don't mind,

993
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:41.680
is my lighting okay, or do I need to go brighter?

994
00:51:42.760 --> 00:51:45.560
I would like to see you go.

995
00:51:45.560 --> 00:51:46.720
Go ahead, go for it.

996
00:51:47.600 --> 00:51:48.440
Not that one.

997
00:51:49.640 --> 00:51:51.040
I think I like the one bit.

998
00:51:51.880 --> 00:51:54.600
Y'all chime in too, please, ladies.

999
00:51:59.320 --> 00:52:00.360
What do y'all think?

1000
00:52:00.360 --> 00:52:02.360
Are y'all looking at her change the light?

1001
00:52:03.800 --> 00:52:04.640
Because.

1002
00:52:04.640 --> 00:52:06.360
Like close enough, or?

1003
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:09.160
You look close enough.

1004
00:52:09.160 --> 00:52:10.920
Anybody have any thoughts about it?

1005
00:52:12.240 --> 00:52:14.440
I like that natural one right there.

1006
00:52:14.440 --> 00:52:15.280
This one.

1007
00:52:17.120 --> 00:52:17.960
This is warm.

1008
00:52:17.960 --> 00:52:18.800
Y'all like the natural one?

1009
00:52:18.800 --> 00:52:19.840
That's so warm.

1010
00:52:20.840 --> 00:52:22.240
Yeah, the natural one.

1011
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:25.600
No.

1012
00:52:25.600 --> 00:52:27.560
Wave if you vote for the warm.

1013
00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:30.960
Sarah, say what you're gonna say.

1014
00:52:30.960 --> 00:52:31.800
Go, somebody say something.

1015
00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:33.560
That's the warm one.

1016
00:52:33.560 --> 00:52:37.360
No, it's like not that one, not the next one,

1017
00:52:37.360 --> 00:52:38.200
but the next one.

1018
00:52:38.200 --> 00:52:39.080
The third?

1019
00:52:39.080 --> 00:52:40.240
Not that one.

1020
00:52:40.240 --> 00:52:41.720
I like that one.

1021
00:52:41.720 --> 00:52:42.640
That one?

1022
00:52:42.640 --> 00:52:43.480
That one.

1023
00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:44.880
There's no names on it.

1024
00:52:44.880 --> 00:52:46.200
I don't know how to tell.

1025
00:52:46.200 --> 00:52:47.600
Okay, so the third one.

1026
00:52:48.520 --> 00:52:52.040
Number three, okay, number three it is, DJ.

1027
00:52:52.040 --> 00:52:52.880
Thank you.

1028
00:52:53.800 --> 00:52:55.720
You have beautiful hair.

1029
00:52:55.720 --> 00:52:56.560
My word.

1030
00:52:56.560 --> 00:52:58.320
Oh, thank you.

1031
00:52:58.320 --> 00:52:59.800
I'm like, I wasn't ready.

1032
00:52:59.800 --> 00:53:02.240
I didn't know we were supposed to, so anyway.

1033
00:53:02.240 --> 00:53:03.880
So I appreciate that.

1034
00:53:03.880 --> 00:53:06.160
Am I far enough away?

1035
00:53:06.160 --> 00:53:08.560
And what does my background look like to everybody?

1036
00:53:08.560 --> 00:53:09.840
Your background looks cute.

1037
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:11.800
It looks like a bookshelf of some source,

1038
00:53:11.800 --> 00:53:14.440
a nice little table with something cute sitting on it.

1039
00:53:14.440 --> 00:53:16.920
Look like it be some potpourri things on the inside.

1040
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:18.200
I like your background.

1041
00:53:18.200 --> 00:53:21.000
Then my office stuff kind of goes that direction,

1042
00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:24.080
but that's okay, that side?

1043
00:53:24.080 --> 00:53:25.840
Yeah, I like your background.

1044
00:53:25.840 --> 00:53:27.800
Anybody else likes the background?

1045
00:53:27.800 --> 00:53:28.640
Wave at us.

1046
00:53:30.680 --> 00:53:32.760
I think it's a nice background.

1047
00:53:32.760 --> 00:53:33.840
Okay, thank you.

1048
00:53:33.840 --> 00:53:35.320
Okay, that helps.

1049
00:53:35.320 --> 00:53:36.160
All right, so-

1050
00:53:36.160 --> 00:53:38.360
I'm gonna ask you this, Deidre.

1051
00:53:38.360 --> 00:53:41.200
I think a light from, I don't know, you ladies,

1052
00:53:41.200 --> 00:53:42.480
you can help out with this.

1053
00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:44.560
It seems like maybe if it was another,

1054
00:53:44.560 --> 00:53:47.120
if it was more light behind you,

1055
00:53:47.120 --> 00:53:49.160
I would like to see more light.

1056
00:53:49.160 --> 00:53:51.440
I don't know what it is, but it seems,

1057
00:53:51.440 --> 00:53:53.440
it could be that your bookshelf is dark

1058
00:53:53.440 --> 00:53:54.720
and your hair is dark.

1059
00:53:56.800 --> 00:53:59.080
Yeah, we need to pump it up.

1060
00:53:59.080 --> 00:54:00.040
Yeah, wait.

1061
00:54:00.040 --> 00:54:02.360
I've got the light right on the picture, but-

1062
00:54:02.360 --> 00:54:04.560
Oh, your camera's falling, don't worry.

1063
00:54:04.560 --> 00:54:06.640
Oh, that's so much better.

1064
00:54:06.640 --> 00:54:09.200
Okay, so I need the fan light on.

1065
00:54:09.200 --> 00:54:10.880
Yes, that's better.

1066
00:54:11.880 --> 00:54:15.440
Should I keep the other light off or have them both on?

1067
00:54:15.440 --> 00:54:16.520
Both of them.

1068
00:54:16.520 --> 00:54:17.360
Both of them.

1069
00:54:17.360 --> 00:54:18.200
Okay.

1070
00:54:18.200 --> 00:54:19.040
Both of them.

1071
00:54:19.040 --> 00:54:19.880
Both of them.

1072
00:54:19.880 --> 00:54:21.600
All right, I remember that.

1073
00:54:21.600 --> 00:54:24.000
And if for me with you,

1074
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:26.360
you can try out different colors to see.

1075
00:54:26.360 --> 00:54:27.520
I know you're not camera ready,

1076
00:54:27.520 --> 00:54:30.000
but I'm just giving some feedback

1077
00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:32.560
because your hair is so beautiful and dark.

1078
00:54:32.560 --> 00:54:33.520
I would like to see you,

1079
00:54:33.520 --> 00:54:35.760
have you ever did a coral color before?

1080
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:37.840
How does coral look against your skin?

1081
00:54:38.840 --> 00:54:42.800
I have, I can do that.

1082
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:46.400
I don't have any, but I can look.

1083
00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:49.480
That's funny, because I did the chat GBT once

1084
00:54:49.480 --> 00:54:53.080
and that was one of the colors in my wardrobe,

1085
00:54:53.080 --> 00:54:57.240
but it did a lot of darker colors though.

1086
00:54:57.240 --> 00:55:00.080
It did, well, like tan with a lot of-

1087
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.400
jackets because my stomach it had a lot of jacket stuff and

1088
00:55:05.320 --> 00:55:11.560
but not pastel colors, more of the deeper like wine green, you

1089
00:55:11.560 --> 00:55:20.040
know, like the olive green tans, more natural tones. So what is

1090
00:55:20.040 --> 00:55:21.360
in there too. So

1091
00:55:22.640 --> 00:55:23.880
I'll go look for coral.

1092
00:55:24.600 --> 00:55:27.120
Okay, that'll be fun. You're welcome.

1093
00:55:27.120 --> 00:55:30.840
Yeah. Okay, well, yeah, go for it.

1094
00:55:31.320 --> 00:55:34.640
Well, my activation, I realized I didn't actually finish the

1095
00:55:34.640 --> 00:55:39.200
activation, but it kind of goes off of my post kit is, is it

1096
00:55:39.200 --> 00:55:43.600
okay to go from activation and go into an issue with what

1097
00:55:43.600 --> 00:55:45.880
happened? Or are we not ready for?

1098
00:55:45.960 --> 00:55:48.640
Oh, no, where this is coaching? Go? No, go ahead.

1099
00:55:49.200 --> 00:55:55.120
Okay. So, um, the thing that I kept procrastinating on was

1100
00:55:55.120 --> 00:55:58.360
doing the dating online sex session, I skipped it went to

1101
00:55:58.360 --> 00:56:02.320
boundaries and get everything around it. But I'm like, Oh, I

1102
00:56:02.320 --> 00:56:04.840
just don't want to do and I think one time, somebody was

1103
00:56:04.840 --> 00:56:07.440
talking about, you know, why, you know, a lot of people are

1104
00:56:07.440 --> 00:56:11.480
saying exhausted. That's what I just was so exhausted. And this

1105
00:56:11.480 --> 00:56:15.440
dating sounded so exhausting. And, but last week, I just had

1106
00:56:15.440 --> 00:56:19.920
this, this hunkering as a desire, whatever, just to get on

1107
00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:24.400
there on the art because I saw it advertised. And then Jackie

1108
00:56:24.400 --> 00:56:27.200
advertised it with the on the thing and I'd already gotten on

1109
00:56:27.200 --> 00:56:30.600
I'm like, Oh, okay, so we're all doing this online, you know,

1110
00:56:31.280 --> 00:56:35.680
blind date thing. And so I'm like, Well, that sounds easy.

1111
00:56:35.680 --> 00:56:42.720
Five minutes. We're good. So I ended up finding one guy or

1112
00:56:42.720 --> 00:56:49.760
matching with this one guy, who is 70. I'm 61. And I'm like,

1113
00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:58.480
Lord. So we started talking and but then and we got along good.

1114
00:56:58.480 --> 00:57:04.000
It was we had some stuff in common. But then the last time

1115
00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:07.160
he didn't respond, like for a day, and I just left alone,

1116
00:57:07.160 --> 00:57:10.760
which is fine. Well, then when we got on to the speed dating,

1117
00:57:11.480 --> 00:57:15.240
and we were matched up, I'm like, Hello, again.

1118
00:57:18.160 --> 00:57:22.560
And so I'm still thinking the age is a huge deal, you know, but

1119
00:57:22.560 --> 00:57:27.520
he he's studying some stuff about kingdom business kingdom

1120
00:57:27.520 --> 00:57:29.920
minded stuff. And I'm like, Well, I'm, you know, that's all

1121
00:57:29.920 --> 00:57:33.960
about me. And so, so we started chatting. And I even said, Hey,

1122
00:57:33.960 --> 00:57:37.280
you know, if you want to go back, go go go, you know, since

1123
00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:39.360
we've already been chatting, we can catch up later if you want

1124
00:57:39.360 --> 00:57:43.640
to go. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. It's up to you

1125
00:57:43.640 --> 00:57:49.000
either way. Like, so anyway, we ended up talking. And I told

1126
00:57:49.000 --> 00:57:53.400
him, you know, it got into what we do for a living. And his is

1127
00:57:53.400 --> 00:57:57.160
on he's, he has a really great landscaping business that he

1128
00:57:57.160 --> 00:58:01.800
absolutely loves. Like does high end design and stuff. He's got

1129
00:58:01.800 --> 00:58:11.480
one in Dallas, Texas, and one in Ohio. And so so anyway, he

1130
00:58:11.480 --> 00:58:13.560
asked me and I was like, Well, I just started this bookkeeping

1131
00:58:13.560 --> 00:58:17.400
business. And I'm telling him about that. And he's like, Oh,

1132
00:58:17.440 --> 00:58:20.600
tell me about that. So basically, I got a lead for a

1133
00:58:20.600 --> 00:58:28.240
client for keeping. But then, because he taught he asked, you

1134
00:58:28.240 --> 00:58:30.840
know, because he's not willing to move. And then he brought up

1135
00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:34.880
something about he doesn't want to do long distance dating.

1136
00:58:34.880 --> 00:58:37.800
He's about reggae off his app, because everybody's so far away.

1137
00:58:37.800 --> 00:58:42.280
And he spent all this money on another relationship, I guess.

1138
00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:46.200
And I'm thinking, I'm staying away from this, you know, but

1139
00:58:46.200 --> 00:58:50.920
I'm feeling safe, because he's, I'm far away. And he said he

1140
00:58:50.920 --> 00:58:55.480
wants to spend the money. So we're good. I can pursue client

1141
00:58:55.520 --> 00:58:58.320
that tends to and and I was excited because he would be my

1142
00:58:58.320 --> 00:59:03.000
first client. He, he's a Christian, he seems like, you

1143
00:59:03.000 --> 00:59:07.840
know, this will be nice, I can learn and God gave me this

1144
00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:10.360
business. He brought me to it. And I got involved with kingdom

1145
00:59:10.360 --> 00:59:13.600
seekers. And you know, just lots of great things have been

1146
00:59:13.600 --> 00:59:20.720
happening. And so then we keep going, we're kind of, you know,

1147
00:59:20.720 --> 00:59:23.920
doing our lives and go back and forth. And it's like, he's like,

1148
00:59:23.920 --> 00:59:25.960
what about a meet, you know, we're gonna have a meeting this

1149
00:59:25.960 --> 00:59:33.040
this coming week, this Thursday is what we scheduled. And I

1150
00:59:33.040 --> 00:59:36.760
don't know, it came up with somehow, I don't remember what

1151
00:59:36.760 --> 00:59:38.640
he said, but basically, he's still interested in a

1152
00:59:38.640 --> 00:59:43.760
relationship. And I'm like, hold on, wait a minute. Because I'm

1153
00:59:43.760 --> 00:59:49.920
like, okay. And this is where the problem is, for me, I'm like,

1154
00:59:49.960 --> 00:59:56.280
those are two totally different entities, or whatever. I'm like,

1155
00:59:56.320 --> 00:59:59.760
all right, all about this. Yes, first client.

1156
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.080
I need to learn this material I'm learning and just, you know, getting kind of psyched

1157
01:00:05.280 --> 01:00:10.360
up because there is some growing I've got to do in my confidence level.

1158
01:00:10.560 --> 01:00:12.280
And so.

1159
01:00:12.480 --> 01:00:16.080
And then he's throwing the relationship part out and I'm like, oh, my gosh,

1160
01:00:16.280 --> 01:00:20.680
I can't that'll totally I'm trying to save all my energy for the business part.

1161
01:00:20.880 --> 01:00:27.160
And so I kind of drew this line today, long text.

1162
01:00:27.400 --> 01:00:29.800
And I think I was very respectful and

1163
01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:34.760
honorable, but I basically separated the two.

1164
01:00:34.960 --> 01:00:37.440
I wanted to make sure that he knew it was separated.

1165
01:00:37.640 --> 01:00:42.440
And, you know, I want him to clarify, does this bookkeeping that you're wanting me

1166
01:00:42.640 --> 01:00:49.320
to do because he's serious about having me look at it and we'll see what happens.

1167
01:00:49.520 --> 01:00:51.640
Is it connected to a relationship?

1168
01:00:51.840 --> 01:00:53.280
And.

1169
01:00:53.440 --> 01:01:02.360
I think I just over shared what I have to stop doing all my dating stuff and.

1170
01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:07.160
So he just today, right before he actually

1171
01:01:07.360 --> 01:01:12.000
responded to what to another thing, because we've been kind of going back

1172
01:01:12.200 --> 01:01:16.120
and forth, he couldn't give me a good example, but.

1173
01:01:16.320 --> 01:01:18.840
If I can read it real fast and I can it

1174
01:01:18.840 --> 01:01:22.600
tells you, then I can.

1175
01:01:22.800 --> 01:01:26.080
Get to the point that.

1176
01:01:26.280 --> 01:01:31.360
Where I'm struggling, he said, Deidre, I will have time tomorrow to chat.

1177
01:01:31.560 --> 01:01:33.040
Frankly, I'm kind of confused.

1178
01:01:33.240 --> 01:01:37.480
I don't know what you're apologizing for or why you may think that I'm even

1179
01:01:37.680 --> 01:01:41.520
offended, I'm very mentally, emotionally, spiritually mature.

1180
01:01:41.720 --> 01:01:43.120
I don't get offended.

1181
01:01:43.320 --> 01:01:47.360
But so, you know, up front, I can also be quite direct in my speech.

1182
01:01:47.520 --> 01:01:50.360
So if you're easily offended, then just know up front,

1183
01:01:50.560 --> 01:01:54.800
because with me, it's either black or white on or off, right or wrong.

1184
01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.280
I won't dance on eggshells and I sure don't want or expect someone else to.

1185
01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:04.000
If we can't openly speak truth, then we don't need to be speaking at all.

1186
01:02:04.200 --> 01:02:07.360
That was the last thing he said.

1187
01:02:07.560 --> 01:02:09.120
And.

1188
01:02:09.680 --> 01:02:14.680
I don't know what your thoughts are on that, but I'm not used to being with a

1189
01:02:14.680 --> 01:02:17.320
mature man that I'm used to.

1190
01:02:17.520 --> 01:02:23.680
Having to read eggshells and, you know, like he's talking about.

1191
01:02:23.880 --> 01:02:26.560
Is he being too direct or is that normal?

1192
01:02:26.760 --> 01:02:30.480
And I'm just not used to it, I guess I'm unsure of how.

1193
01:02:30.680 --> 01:02:34.720
I know I got issues still to work on and I'm like.

1194
01:02:34.920 --> 01:02:41.560
I'm even confused as to what to how to even where to go, I can't hear you.

1195
01:02:41.800 --> 01:02:44.480
I know, I was like, oh, crap,

1196
01:02:44.680 --> 01:02:47.440
Deidre, what did you say to him?

1197
01:02:48.480 --> 01:02:51.880
Before I can't measure what he said, I know,

1198
01:02:52.080 --> 01:02:57.760
I know, I was like, sure, what she said, but in that is what you say

1199
01:02:57.960 --> 01:03:01.320
in order for me to turn it along, that's the only reason why I didn't go there.

1200
01:03:01.520 --> 01:03:03.280
But let me see.

1201
01:03:04.240 --> 01:03:06.480
How long is it?

1202
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:11.120
Really, I got to go to the right one.

1203
01:03:11.360 --> 01:03:13.280
OK, let's read it super fast and we'll

1204
01:03:13.280 --> 01:03:16.160
wrap it up in a minute and I'll give you feedback on it.

1205
01:03:16.360 --> 01:03:17.640
OK, I'm so embarrassed.

1206
01:03:17.840 --> 01:03:19.080
OK.

1207
01:03:19.280 --> 01:03:22.120
Well, if you feel embarrassed, you're my sisters.

1208
01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:25.920
No, no, Deidre, if it's going to make you feel like you have

1209
01:03:25.920 --> 01:03:28.160
a vulnerability to hang over after you share, don't do it.

1210
01:03:28.360 --> 01:03:29.960
I can give you feedback.

1211
01:03:30.160 --> 01:03:31.200
I don't want you to do that.

1212
01:03:31.400 --> 01:03:33.520
If you if you don't don't do that.

1213
01:03:33.720 --> 01:03:39.680
So listen, what he said to you was he said to you, I'm a man.

1214
01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:41.480
I can hold my own.

1215
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:44.440
I don't need you say whatever you're going to say to me.

1216
01:03:44.640 --> 01:03:45.680
And that's it.

1217
01:03:45.880 --> 01:03:48.360
OK, that's what he just said to you.

1218
01:03:48.560 --> 01:03:51.040
He says he he is a grown man.

1219
01:03:51.240 --> 01:03:53.040
He is mature in every way.

1220
01:03:53.240 --> 01:03:55.080
He says that he is straightforward.

1221
01:03:55.160 --> 01:03:56.920
He's encouraging you to be that way.

1222
01:03:57.120 --> 01:04:00.920
So everything you put on your text about, I'm sorry if you thought this and all

1223
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:06.040
this apologizing that you're doing, he's saying, what are you even apologizing for?

1224
01:04:06.240 --> 01:04:07.920
So that's what he's saying to you.

1225
01:04:07.920 --> 01:04:12.720
It was a very straightforward text.

1226
01:04:12.920 --> 01:04:15.880
And that's good, right?

1227
01:04:16.080 --> 01:04:21.360
I mean, I mean, he's he speak the same way you expressed yourself, he expressed

1228
01:04:21.560 --> 01:04:22.800
himself.

1229
01:04:24.280 --> 01:04:26.000
This is what happened.

1230
01:04:26.200 --> 01:04:33.520
And so, you know, going forward, if what I would encourage you to do is look back

1231
01:04:33.520 --> 01:04:38.880
over your text that you sent him and be real with yourself every time he's like,

1232
01:04:39.080 --> 01:04:41.840
well, I'm so sorry and I'm so this, you know,

1233
01:04:42.040 --> 01:04:46.360
there's a lot of love that you add when you're talking.

1234
01:04:46.560 --> 01:04:50.000
It's best if I encourage you to stop.

1235
01:04:50.200 --> 01:04:52.560
Stop apologizing when no apologies are needed.

1236
01:04:52.560 --> 01:04:56.160
That's a behavior that we can learn and we can keep saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

1237
01:04:56.360 --> 01:04:58.680
I'm sorry, it's what you're sorry about.

1238
01:04:58.880 --> 01:05:00.080
Well, you know, if I did.

1239
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.200
anything, anything like what, you know, like, so that's like, that's, that's what he's saying.

1240
01:05:05.200 --> 01:05:08.960
And it's like this back, if you say, I'm so sorry. And I said, for what you like, well,

1241
01:05:08.960 --> 01:05:14.000
what? And I'm like, well, what like that back to you thing? Like, uh, that's what I'm saying. So

1242
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:19.840
all of this extra fluff and all this extra apologies, let's not do that. Um, and also

1243
01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:23.520
one thing about when you're communicating with the man, they don't read all these big,

1244
01:05:23.520 --> 01:05:28.480
long text messages. They don't process like this. So be straight to the point,

1245
01:05:28.480 --> 01:05:34.080
whatever you're going to say, say like, you want to say to him, Hey, this is what you want to say

1246
01:05:34.080 --> 01:05:38.240
to him. I don't know if you said it, you told me you didn't want to be in a relationship because

1247
01:05:38.240 --> 01:05:42.960
you don't want to do long distance. And you also added some other things. I know that you probably

1248
01:05:42.960 --> 01:05:48.640
remember. So please let's not confuse business in a relationship. I'm only open for business

1249
01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:55.760
at this point, because I already understand how you feel. And I did do a pretty good job of that,

1250
01:05:55.760 --> 01:06:01.680
but I probably needed to cut that short. And I didn't do, I know what you're talking about,

1251
01:06:01.680 --> 01:06:07.840
because I have done that. And what I apologize for is he took it something a certain way. And I

1252
01:06:07.840 --> 01:06:13.600
probably earlier in a different text, when we were just chatting the other night that, because I was,

1253
01:06:13.600 --> 01:06:18.160
I said, I am willing to move. Well, it's on my thing that I can, I'm willing to move,

1254
01:06:18.800 --> 01:06:23.760
but we had chatted about, I was going to help my friend move up to Ohio. It just happened to be his

1255
01:06:23.760 --> 01:06:37.440
state. And so I was clarifying the business in personal. And so let me just read one more that

1256
01:06:37.440 --> 01:06:42.080
he said. He said, thank you for keeping me up to date or informed. But if I remember correctly,

1257
01:06:42.080 --> 01:06:46.720
you are also willing to relocate and even considering moving to Columbiana. That's not

1258
01:06:46.720 --> 01:06:53.440
where it was. But Columbus, I'm pretty open minded. I just won't make the same mistakes I did

1259
01:06:53.520 --> 01:06:59.680
before North squander, the large sums of money that I did previously, all of that went into a

1260
01:06:59.680 --> 01:07:06.080
six figure category. And that was not wisdom on my behalf. So here I am, he's basically saying,

1261
01:07:06.720 --> 01:07:14.320
because I was saying what you just said, I did say that, like, you're, this is what you said.

1262
01:07:14.320 --> 01:07:21.840
So, you know, I'm just sticking to business, basically. And so he was clarifying, saying,

1263
01:07:21.840 --> 01:07:26.400
well, I'm just not going to do that. And besides, you said you were coming this way.

1264
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:33.440
So that's why I apologize. Well, that's not quite what I like. Yeah. Like he took that. I was

1265
01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:41.680
moving there. I was looking. And then, so when I apologized, what I was apologizing for, I probably

1266
01:07:41.680 --> 01:07:46.400
shouldn't have told him all that I should have said, I'm well, I'm excited to move. I don't know

1267
01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:54.000
where I'm going to move. You know, so I, so it wasn't this, oh, I'm such a loser. And I just,

1268
01:07:54.000 --> 01:08:00.960
it wasn't that kind. It was a true apology that was, I probably said something I shouldn't have

1269
01:08:00.960 --> 01:08:06.320
said. And that's not what I meant, but this is, you know, so we're trying to clarify boundaries.

1270
01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:09.680
I understand. And how long have y'all been getting to know each other?

1271
01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:20.960
Well, it's just, we talked one time before Sunday night and then this was Sunday night. And then

1272
01:08:20.960 --> 01:08:28.560
today. Yeah. Yeah. That's quite a bit. So my encouragement would be to, because I'm in the

1273
01:08:28.560 --> 01:08:32.560
business mode now. I totally went over the business. So I'm like, okay, I'm getting this,

1274
01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:37.840
I'm getting a proposal written up. So I'm so business, right. And yeah.

1275
01:08:39.680 --> 01:08:45.279
I would just say moving forward. And you already said that you believe that you share too much too

1276
01:08:45.279 --> 01:08:50.399
soon. I will just slow that down, but something happens when we're older, especially with men

1277
01:08:50.399 --> 01:08:54.880
and they just kind of share anything, even when they're younger, but no matter how much they share,

1278
01:08:54.880 --> 01:08:58.240
you just keep yourself composed so that you won't have to have these type of

1279
01:08:58.240 --> 01:09:03.040
drawn out conversations. I will say this Deidre, just from interacting with you,

1280
01:09:03.040 --> 01:09:08.640
I believe that you have a very pure heart and I want you to hear what I'm saying to you.

1281
01:09:08.640 --> 01:09:14.399
Don't put pressure on yourself to show up in some other kind of way. Whatever needs to be fine

1282
01:09:14.399 --> 01:09:20.560
tuning you is going to come over time, but I can see your heart. I believe that you're very sweet,

1283
01:09:20.560 --> 01:09:25.520
that you're very kind and that you're very honorable. I don't want you to carry any guilt,

1284
01:09:25.520 --> 01:09:30.160
any shame about, I messed it up. I should have did it different. I'm telling you that's not worth

1285
01:09:30.160 --> 01:09:34.240
your time. It's not going to sharpen you. And it's not going to grow you. And it's not going

1286
01:09:34.240 --> 01:09:38.240
to make you powerful. It's only going to tear you down and cause you to have self doubt about

1287
01:09:38.319 --> 01:09:43.680
your ability to get things done. You can totally get things done. And this is just the way it is.

1288
01:09:43.680 --> 01:09:48.720
And this is how you start fine tuning your interactions with men by conversations like

1289
01:09:48.720 --> 01:09:53.520
this. And you're like, Oh, I can scale this back. Oh, I can scale this back. And that's all this

1290
01:09:53.520 --> 01:09:59.680
is. That's why it's dating for discovery. Yep.

1291
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.760
What should I say to him? Because he's looking for marriage. He's waited 14 years and he's

1292
01:10:05.760 --> 01:10:10.560
working on himself, you said, all this time. It doesn't matter. This is what you're going

1293
01:10:10.560 --> 01:10:15.600
to say back to him. All that doesn't matter. None of that matters right now. You don't know him.

1294
01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:21.040
That's the only thing that matters. All you know is what he said. And so to respond to his text,

1295
01:10:21.040 --> 01:10:25.840
what you're going to say, okay, thank you so much for sharing. This is very insightful.

1296
01:10:25.840 --> 01:10:32.000
That's it. That's the end of it. That's easy. It's very easy.

1297
01:10:33.280 --> 01:10:38.000
Yeah. Thanks so much for sharing. It's very insightful. I know more about you than I knew

1298
01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:45.600
before. Right. And so then everything goes after that. It's just going to be you taking it,

1299
01:10:45.600 --> 01:10:48.880
taking it slow. If you've already decided that you're going to do business,

1300
01:10:48.880 --> 01:10:57.840
then you're going to do business. So just keep, if just keep not pounding, but sticking with the

1301
01:10:57.840 --> 01:11:03.920
business aspect of letting, I mean, he obviously needs to lead that part of like, whether he wants

1302
01:11:03.920 --> 01:11:09.120
to or not. But yeah, I mean, if he speaks about dating again, just say, Hey, I thought we had

1303
01:11:09.120 --> 01:11:13.760
kind of dealt with this, but we've agreed to not date and we're just going to do business.

1304
01:11:13.840 --> 01:11:21.360
And then that's it. Okay. Well, yeah, that's why the problem is he's not really agreeing. I don't

1305
01:11:21.360 --> 01:11:37.280
think you can just stop talking to him. Forget the client, the business part. Yeah. He's not

1306
01:11:37.280 --> 01:11:43.920
the first thing. He won't be the last. He's just one person. If you're you, it's the more,

1307
01:11:43.920 --> 01:11:49.680
the concern is more about you, Deidre than about somebody for business. If you feel like a guy,

1308
01:11:50.320 --> 01:11:53.920
whether you feel like God brought him or not, they're going to be people that come along in

1309
01:11:53.920 --> 01:11:58.080
your business. That's going to come to help train you in business. That's going to do things to help

1310
01:11:58.080 --> 01:12:03.920
you grow and catch your blind side. And this same person could be in the way of flow of business.

1311
01:12:03.920 --> 01:12:08.240
Everything flows through you to help sharpen, you shape you to help you grow.

1312
01:12:09.040 --> 01:12:12.800
And when you have a client, something you need to learn early on, that's confused about whether

1313
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:16.480
they want to do business or relationship, you find that you need to walk away from that.

1314
01:12:17.040 --> 01:12:25.840
That's not good business. Right. And so you have to do good business. And this is a decision you

1315
01:12:25.840 --> 01:12:33.120
have to make in that way. And would that even be considered unethical? I mean,

1316
01:12:34.480 --> 01:12:38.240
I think you don't want to start mixing love and money like that. I don't think that's healthy.

1317
01:12:40.640 --> 01:12:45.760
You're not losing. You're growing. You had to learn this at some point. Some,

1318
01:12:45.760 --> 01:12:48.080
some other guys going to come along. You're just growing.

1319
01:12:48.080 --> 01:12:56.320
So you can learn a little, you can learn lessons with low stakes and you can learn

1320
01:12:56.320 --> 01:13:07.920
lessons with high stakes. I take the low stakes. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay,

1321
01:13:07.920 --> 01:13:14.160
ladies. I have about five names and we got about 17 minutes, but we can do it. Maybe. Are you still

1322
01:13:14.160 --> 01:13:29.760
on? Yes, ma'am. Hey. Hi. Oh, I was going to share before when we were talking about the activation,

1323
01:13:29.760 --> 01:13:36.720
but I'm fine. Like other ladies can share their dating experiences. Okay. All right. Sounds good.

1324
01:13:36.720 --> 01:13:44.160
Thank you. You're welcome, Joanne. If this is not the correct order, you ladies can say something.

1325
01:13:46.160 --> 01:13:51.440
Um, I think it is. Yeah, I think, I think that's how I wrote it down, but you never,

1326
01:13:51.440 --> 01:13:55.520
I never know. Um, I'll try to make it really quick. So I started talking to somebody

1327
01:13:56.160 --> 01:14:03.680
about a week ago and, um, I'm starting to feel like not, it's not healthy. Like I,

1328
01:14:03.680 --> 01:14:09.120
I would join that VIP, whatever, two weeks ago. And Jackie coached me saying,

1329
01:14:09.840 --> 01:14:14.800
like, I have this pattern attracting and getting attracted to like love bombing. And, um,

1330
01:14:15.840 --> 01:14:25.840
I saw you on the big screen. Did you? Oh my God. Oh my goodness. And I was like, gosh,

1331
01:14:25.840 --> 01:14:29.360
all these people remember what I told them. And I don't even know these people.

1332
01:14:30.080 --> 01:14:34.720
Anyways. So she gave me some really good advice about doing everything opposite, right? You heard

1333
01:14:34.720 --> 01:14:40.880
it. And so I've been trying to apply it. And so this gentleman, he has a, he's, he has amazing

1334
01:14:40.880 --> 01:14:45.440
heart for the Lord, but he's a lot younger. He's 33. I'm 46. He doesn't care about my age.

1335
01:14:46.400 --> 01:14:52.320
Um, and I think he was moving kind of fast cause he wanted to already send me like,

1336
01:14:52.320 --> 01:14:59.760
like a care care, like some things. And he's in Canada. And so, um, like he's,

1337
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.840
He wanted to almost talk to me every day.

1338
01:15:01.840 --> 01:15:07.440
And then I noticed there was a pattern of him talking.

1339
01:15:07.440 --> 01:15:09.240
It's more one-sided conversation.

1340
01:15:09.240 --> 01:15:11.560
And when I would bring up stuff, he wouldn't address it.

1341
01:15:11.560 --> 01:15:15.800
And he would send me all these video clips and voice memos.

1342
01:15:15.800 --> 01:15:17.360
And I'm like, hmm, I don't really

1343
01:15:17.360 --> 01:15:20.040
want to engage with someone where they're talking

1344
01:15:20.040 --> 01:15:21.720
about themselves so much.

1345
01:15:21.720 --> 01:15:22.600
That's number one.

1346
01:15:22.600 --> 01:15:26.160
And he is a very sensitive guy, which is fine.

1347
01:15:26.160 --> 01:15:28.240
But we both are very sensitive.

1348
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:30.680
So I don't know if that's just feels like he's

1349
01:15:30.680 --> 01:15:34.320
not very emotionally stable.

1350
01:15:34.320 --> 01:15:37.800
And then financially, because he wanted to come visit me,

1351
01:15:37.800 --> 01:15:39.720
he already was like, I want to come visit you.

1352
01:15:39.720 --> 01:15:40.880
I'm like, OK, that's cool.

1353
01:15:40.880 --> 01:15:44.760
But then he was saying a couple months because

1354
01:15:44.760 --> 01:15:47.880
of his budget and his work, which I understand the work

1355
01:15:47.880 --> 01:15:49.480
thing, but I'm like, budget?

1356
01:15:49.480 --> 01:15:52.920
It's really only a few hundred dollars to fly out here.

1357
01:15:52.920 --> 01:15:55.040
So we had this whole miscommunication

1358
01:15:55.040 --> 01:15:58.640
because apparently he looked up where I lived.

1359
01:15:58.640 --> 01:16:00.000
I told him where I lived.

1360
01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:01.760
And he's been where I lived.

1361
01:16:01.760 --> 01:16:05.160
And AI had told him, like Mountain View, like, oh,

1362
01:16:05.160 --> 01:16:08.480
how much is it to fly to go to Mountain View?

1363
01:16:08.480 --> 01:16:11.280
It showed up $8,000 to $10,000.

1364
01:16:11.280 --> 01:16:17.480
So he was planning to spend $8,000 to $10,000

1365
01:16:17.480 --> 01:16:22.760
to come fly to see me, which is amazing.

1366
01:16:22.800 --> 01:16:25.960
But then it's like, that's a hell of a lot of money.

1367
01:16:25.960 --> 01:16:31.480
And why would you even think that it's $8,000 to $10,000?

1368
01:16:31.480 --> 01:16:33.840
Like, that's odd to me.

1369
01:16:33.840 --> 01:16:35.880
He's even been here.

1370
01:16:35.880 --> 01:16:38.560
And I showed him, no, it's not $8,000 to $10,000.

1371
01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:39.560
It's only a few hundred.

1372
01:16:39.560 --> 01:16:41.680
And so it's like, oh, in that case, I can afford it

1373
01:16:41.680 --> 01:16:45.120
and all that stuff because I've dated a guy completely broke

1374
01:16:45.120 --> 01:16:47.360
that was 14 years younger than me.

1375
01:16:47.360 --> 01:16:49.880
I was 38 and he was 24.

1376
01:16:49.880 --> 01:16:52.200
So I told him, this is why I'm asking you.

1377
01:16:52.600 --> 01:16:56.560
It's not because I need to know how much you make or whatever.

1378
01:16:56.560 --> 01:16:59.840
I just want to make sure you have the means to be able

1379
01:16:59.840 --> 01:17:02.840
to apply because I'm 46.

1380
01:17:02.840 --> 01:17:05.480
I want to get married and settle down and have kids.

1381
01:17:05.480 --> 01:17:08.080
I'm not looking for a boy kind of thing.

1382
01:17:08.080 --> 01:17:09.520
I said it in the nicest way.

1383
01:17:09.520 --> 01:17:12.400
So I guess I kind of made a decision.

1384
01:17:12.400 --> 01:17:15.640
I think this is not working for me.

1385
01:17:15.640 --> 01:17:17.080
But I wanted to check in.

1386
01:17:17.080 --> 01:17:19.160
I do have a gift of discernment.

1387
01:17:19.160 --> 01:17:22.840
And when I talk to my friends, they're like, Joanne,

1388
01:17:22.840 --> 01:17:24.560
you know from God.

1389
01:17:24.560 --> 01:17:26.240
And you know, you're wise.

1390
01:17:26.240 --> 01:17:29.720
You should just say it instead of dragging it out.

1391
01:17:29.720 --> 01:17:31.560
And I think that's a pattern I've had, too,

1392
01:17:31.560 --> 01:17:35.320
where it's like, I tend to drag it out because I feel like, oh,

1393
01:17:35.320 --> 01:17:36.000
but he's good.

1394
01:17:36.000 --> 01:17:37.320
But he has these great qualities.

1395
01:17:37.320 --> 01:17:38.400
And he's so accommodating.

1396
01:17:38.400 --> 01:17:39.840
He's willing to.

1397
01:17:39.840 --> 01:17:41.360
Because I even brought up, it just

1398
01:17:41.360 --> 01:17:43.760
feels imbalanced in our conversation.

1399
01:17:43.760 --> 01:17:47.800
And he was so willing to accommodate and change.

1400
01:17:47.800 --> 01:17:50.040
But then I'm like, I didn't want to say these things.

1401
01:17:50.040 --> 01:17:52.560
Because I don't want a guy to change for me.

1402
01:17:52.560 --> 01:17:55.920
I want to see them for who they are, right?

1403
01:17:55.920 --> 01:17:56.720
Yes.

1404
01:17:56.720 --> 01:17:59.440
So this is the conversation you have.

1405
01:17:59.440 --> 01:18:01.840
Hey, it's been really great getting to know you.

1406
01:18:01.840 --> 01:18:04.000
As I've told you, I'm marriage-minded.

1407
01:18:04.000 --> 01:18:06.040
I date with intentionality.

1408
01:18:06.040 --> 01:18:10.440
And from my observation, we are not aligned.

1409
01:18:10.440 --> 01:18:13.440
You don't align well for where I'm headed

1410
01:18:13.440 --> 01:18:17.320
or what I have in mind for partnership in the future.

1411
01:18:18.200 --> 01:18:20.520
Do you think that's right on?

1412
01:18:20.520 --> 01:18:26.200
I'm not being overly picky or overly, I just,

1413
01:18:26.200 --> 01:18:29.080
because usually the Lord tells me within a week

1414
01:18:29.080 --> 01:18:30.680
if it's not really the right person.

1415
01:18:30.680 --> 01:18:33.040
I just feel like something's not aligned.

1416
01:18:33.040 --> 01:18:35.040
And it's kind of getting confirmed.

1417
01:18:35.040 --> 01:18:36.680
Sometimes I don't even have evidence.

1418
01:18:36.680 --> 01:18:39.760
But the more I speculate, it gets more complicated.

1419
01:18:39.760 --> 01:18:43.360
And it gets more unnecessary conversations.

1420
01:18:43.360 --> 01:18:47.240
And so I just want to make sure I'm in the right track.

1421
01:18:48.160 --> 01:18:51.880
I'm not just cutting guys off or, you know.

1422
01:18:51.880 --> 01:18:55.600
Well, do you want a 33-year-old man?

1423
01:18:55.600 --> 01:18:57.240
OK.

1424
01:18:57.240 --> 01:19:00.040
I don't look at age, but I look at maturity.

1425
01:19:00.040 --> 01:19:02.000
And I don't think he's, like, that mature.

1426
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:03.680
But you said he wasn't mature.

1427
01:19:03.680 --> 01:19:06.440
I don't think he's mature enough for me.

1428
01:19:06.440 --> 01:19:07.720
OK, that's your answer.

1429
01:19:07.720 --> 01:19:11.840
He's not mature for you.

1430
01:19:11.840 --> 01:19:14.080
You guys don't align.

1431
01:19:14.680 --> 01:19:16.480
I tried to tell him that yesterday.

1432
01:19:16.480 --> 01:19:19.560
But then he was still like, no, I think we, you know.

1433
01:19:19.560 --> 01:19:20.080
Joanne.

1434
01:19:20.080 --> 01:19:20.600
Yes.

1435
01:19:20.600 --> 01:19:24.400
Listen, nobody can tell you about you.

1436
01:19:24.400 --> 01:19:25.920
You're not on a journey with him.

1437
01:19:25.920 --> 01:19:28.120
You're on a journey with the Father.

1438
01:19:28.120 --> 01:19:30.800
You made a decision for your own life.

1439
01:19:30.800 --> 01:19:32.400
You say that you are aligned.

1440
01:19:32.400 --> 01:19:34.320
You don't need his approval.

1441
01:19:34.320 --> 01:19:36.600
You don't need his agreement.

1442
01:19:36.600 --> 01:19:39.880
You're not measuring who he is against you for him.

1443
01:19:39.880 --> 01:19:41.120
You're comfortable with him.

1444
01:19:41.120 --> 01:19:42.280
You're comfortable with him.

1445
01:19:42.400 --> 01:19:46.240
But what are you doing with him that's against you for him?

1446
01:19:46.240 --> 01:19:48.520
Your conversation is I.

1447
01:19:48.520 --> 01:19:49.440
I.

1448
01:19:49.440 --> 01:19:51.600
I.

1449
01:19:51.600 --> 01:19:54.800
I've enjoyed getting to know you.

1450
01:19:54.800 --> 01:19:58.240
I've decided that we're not aligned for where I'm heading.

1451
01:19:58.240 --> 01:19:59.600
What do you mean?

1452
01:19:59.600 --> 01:20:01.600
There are things that are important to me.

1453
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.680
and this is not in alignment.

1454
01:20:01.600 --> 01:20:03.320
There are values that I have.

1455
01:20:01.680 --> 01:20:02.520
Well, what are they?

1456
01:20:02.520 --> 01:20:04.160
I don't want to discuss them

1457
01:20:04.160 --> 01:20:05.840
because that calls a comparison

1458
01:20:05.840 --> 01:20:08.280
and that will cause you to say what you can do.

1459
01:20:08.280 --> 01:20:10.400
And I don't want to know what you can do.

1460
01:20:10.400 --> 01:20:12.640
This doesn't work for me.

1461
01:20:12.640 --> 01:20:13.880
And once you say that,

1462
01:20:13.880 --> 01:20:16.040
if a person can't honor what you're saying,

1463
01:20:16.040 --> 01:20:20.560
that tells you that something's happening anyway, okay?

1464
01:20:20.560 --> 01:20:22.280
And so that's the thing,

1465
01:20:22.280 --> 01:20:26.240
is these I statements in dealing with it.

1466
01:20:26.240 --> 01:20:27.360
This is what it is.

1467
01:20:31.000 --> 01:20:34.120
The back and forth, the tug that you have,

1468
01:20:34.120 --> 01:20:36.200
you have to be mindful that it's not tied up

1469
01:20:36.200 --> 01:20:38.200
in thinking you're gonna miss something.

1470
01:20:39.800 --> 01:20:41.400
You're not gonna miss anything.

1471
01:20:44.680 --> 01:20:46.640
And that's just, that's how it goes.

1472
01:20:47.680 --> 01:20:49.960
Yeah, that's what I was addressing too.

1473
01:20:49.960 --> 01:20:52.000
But based on what I shared,

1474
01:20:52.000 --> 01:20:53.880
do you feel like there's kind of like,

1475
01:20:53.880 --> 01:20:56.120
not just misalignment, but sort of like,

1476
01:20:57.000 --> 01:20:59.040
man, isn't that good signs?

1477
01:20:59.040 --> 01:21:01.040
And he was like bombarding me with messages

1478
01:21:01.040 --> 01:21:03.520
and messages and voice messages and stuff.

1479
01:21:03.520 --> 01:21:04.360
It was like,

1480
01:21:07.120 --> 01:21:09.560
and then he wrote me a card that was like,

1481
01:21:09.560 --> 01:21:12.120
forever friends and always towards you.

1482
01:21:12.120 --> 01:21:13.760
And he spelled my name wrong.

1483
01:21:13.760 --> 01:21:16.760
But I mean, it was just feeling like,

1484
01:21:16.760 --> 01:21:19.760
this is a lot within like a few days.

1485
01:21:19.760 --> 01:21:22.440
Am I discerning correctly that this is-

1486
01:21:22.440 --> 01:21:24.760
Joanne, it doesn't take a discerning spirit

1487
01:21:24.760 --> 01:21:27.120
to understand that there's too much in two days.

1488
01:21:27.120 --> 01:21:30.160
There's wisdom, there's boundaries.

1489
01:21:30.160 --> 01:21:32.120
And so sometimes we get so caught up

1490
01:21:32.120 --> 01:21:33.760
and I want you to be mindful of that

1491
01:21:33.760 --> 01:21:35.320
about what God is saying.

1492
01:21:35.320 --> 01:21:38.120
Does God have to speak when somebody is doing all of that

1493
01:21:38.120 --> 01:21:39.640
and you don't know them?

1494
01:21:39.640 --> 01:21:41.240
Before God should say something,

1495
01:21:41.240 --> 01:21:42.600
wisdom should talk to you.

1496
01:21:44.800 --> 01:21:46.280
Before God say something,

1497
01:21:46.280 --> 01:21:47.680
boundaries should talk to you.

1498
01:21:47.680 --> 01:21:52.560
Actually principles speak to us before this hearing God.

1499
01:21:52.560 --> 01:21:55.880
If God, if you're talking to somebody for two days

1500
01:21:55.880 --> 01:21:58.240
and you're operating outside of boundaries

1501
01:21:58.240 --> 01:22:00.760
and principles and wisdom,

1502
01:22:02.760 --> 01:22:05.440
God has to talk to you when you,

1503
01:22:05.440 --> 01:22:09.120
we have to adhere to principles and boundaries and wisdom.

1504
01:22:09.120 --> 01:22:11.360
A lot of times the odd that you're feeling

1505
01:22:11.360 --> 01:22:13.160
is actually wisdom talking to you,

1506
01:22:13.160 --> 01:22:14.640
trying to get your attention.

1507
01:22:16.320 --> 01:22:18.520
A lot of the stuff we feel happen

1508
01:22:18.520 --> 01:22:20.480
is people crossing boundaries.

1509
01:22:20.480 --> 01:22:24.920
That uneasiness that you feel is boundaries being crossed.

1510
01:22:24.920 --> 01:22:28.080
It's not even God, it's not even discernment.

1511
01:22:28.080 --> 01:22:29.680
It's a boundary being crossed.

1512
01:22:29.680 --> 01:22:34.360
It's wisdom saying, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, right?

1513
01:22:34.360 --> 01:22:37.680
The knower in you knows that these things are inappropriate.

1514
01:22:37.680 --> 01:22:39.520
And so deal with things.

1515
01:22:39.520 --> 01:22:41.120
My encouragement to you, Joanne,

1516
01:22:41.120 --> 01:22:43.000
because you've been on this journey for a while

1517
01:22:43.000 --> 01:22:45.240
and you're trying to make a change on what you're trying,

1518
01:22:45.240 --> 01:22:47.400
deal with things and deal with them quickly

1519
01:22:47.400 --> 01:22:48.440
and don't look back.

1520
01:22:49.760 --> 01:22:51.120
And don't feel bad, right?

1521
01:22:51.120 --> 01:22:53.560
That's the other thing is like not having a fear in man,

1522
01:22:53.560 --> 01:22:55.160
like making him feel bad.

1523
01:22:55.160 --> 01:22:56.800
And he was planning to come out

1524
01:22:56.800 --> 01:22:58.120
and he's going to send me this carrot.

1525
01:22:58.120 --> 01:23:00.320
Now I'm like, no, don't.

1526
01:23:00.320 --> 01:23:02.680
It just feels bad.

1527
01:23:02.680 --> 01:23:06.080
Well, it is challenging to tell somebody y'all don't align.

1528
01:23:06.080 --> 01:23:07.720
I had to do that here recently.

1529
01:23:08.680 --> 01:23:10.480
And it is hard.

1530
01:23:10.480 --> 01:23:14.160
It does not feel, it don't feel easy.

1531
01:23:14.160 --> 01:23:16.760
Well, if he was gonna willing to come out and see me

1532
01:23:16.760 --> 01:23:19.880
and then send me a message and write me a card

1533
01:23:19.880 --> 01:23:22.720
and it's just like, I feel bad.

1534
01:23:22.800 --> 01:23:24.200
What do you feel bad about?

1535
01:23:24.200 --> 01:23:27.880
He want, that's not even wisdom on his part, Joanne.

1536
01:23:27.880 --> 01:23:29.840
He haven't known you for two days.

1537
01:23:29.840 --> 01:23:30.680
What do you feel bad about?

1538
01:23:30.680 --> 01:23:31.760
It's been like a week,

1539
01:23:31.760 --> 01:23:33.200
but it was like three or four days

1540
01:23:33.200 --> 01:23:36.240
when it was a bombardment of messages, yeah.

1541
01:23:36.240 --> 01:23:37.600
Okay, so you're dealing,

1542
01:23:37.600 --> 01:23:38.880
you're operating with a person

1543
01:23:38.880 --> 01:23:40.600
who doesn't have a dating coach,

1544
01:23:40.600 --> 01:23:42.240
who's not operating in wisdom

1545
01:23:42.240 --> 01:23:44.400
and they don't know how to date within boundaries.

1546
01:23:44.400 --> 01:23:46.480
Actually, this person does.

1547
01:23:46.480 --> 01:23:48.200
No, they don't, Joanne.

1548
01:23:48.200 --> 01:23:50.480
If somebody bombards you in a week,

1549
01:23:50.480 --> 01:23:53.280
well, you think that's supernatural, huh?

1550
01:23:53.280 --> 01:23:55.080
No, it's not supernatural.

1551
01:23:55.080 --> 01:23:56.880
Okay, he doesn't have wisdom.

1552
01:23:56.880 --> 01:23:58.040
Don't tell me that he does

1553
01:23:58.040 --> 01:24:00.120
when he's operating outside of wisdom.

1554
01:24:00.120 --> 01:24:01.920
He's operating outside of boundaries.

1555
01:24:01.920 --> 01:24:03.440
He doesn't even know you.

1556
01:24:03.440 --> 01:24:05.240
He knows nothing about you,

1557
01:24:05.240 --> 01:24:08.000
but yet he would invest in you into this great of deal

1558
01:24:08.000 --> 01:24:09.640
and put himself at risk.

1559
01:24:10.960 --> 01:24:12.320
He doesn't know you.

1560
01:24:12.320 --> 01:24:14.000
I know.

1561
01:24:14.000 --> 01:24:16.560
Exactly, so he does not have wisdom.

1562
01:24:17.560 --> 01:24:20.120
No matter how much he hears from God.

1563
01:24:23.560 --> 01:24:24.560
No, I have magic.

1564
01:24:24.560 --> 01:24:26.360
Joanne.

1565
01:24:26.360 --> 01:24:28.120
This person's really prophetic though.

1566
01:24:28.120 --> 01:24:29.640
He's really prophetic.

1567
01:24:29.640 --> 01:24:31.480
Well, right off into the sunset,

1568
01:24:31.480 --> 01:24:32.880
we had prophetic self.

1569
01:24:32.880 --> 01:24:34.280
No, I'm done with that.

1570
01:24:34.280 --> 01:24:36.360
I used to do that and it was bad.

1571
01:24:36.360 --> 01:24:38.000
It was so toxic for my dating life,

1572
01:24:38.000 --> 01:24:38.840
that's why I don't.

1573
01:24:38.840 --> 01:24:41.280
Joanne, we don't marry people in the spirit.

1574
01:24:41.280 --> 01:24:43.520
We marry people in the natural.

1575
01:24:43.520 --> 01:24:46.160
That's the thing where you have spirit in natural.

1576
01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:50.640
Practicality is what is required for marriage.

1577
01:24:50.640 --> 01:24:52.880
Practicality.

1578
01:24:52.880 --> 01:24:55.800
You don't marry up in the spirit realm.

1579
01:24:55.800 --> 01:24:59.240
You marry people who need communication skills,

1580
01:24:59.240 --> 01:25:00.080
who need wisdom.

1581
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.760
who need capacity, who need forgiveness,

1582
01:25:02.760 --> 01:25:04.800
who need grace, who need mercy.

1583
01:25:04.800 --> 01:25:07.080
They need to be able to operate in these things.

1584
01:25:07.080 --> 01:25:08.840
I don't care how much you hear from the Lord,

1585
01:25:08.840 --> 01:25:11.080
the Lord can't do that for you.

1586
01:25:11.080 --> 01:25:13.600
These are the fruits of the spirit,

1587
01:25:13.600 --> 01:25:16.080
self-discipline, control.

1588
01:25:17.200 --> 01:25:20.940
Those are fruits of the spirit, it's called character.

1589
01:25:22.240 --> 01:25:25.240
So it doesn't matter about you hearing from God.

1590
01:25:26.120 --> 01:25:29.840
You can find a righteous person

1591
01:25:29.840 --> 01:25:31.460
who don't prophetically anything,

1592
01:25:31.460 --> 01:25:32.800
but they're committed to righteousness

1593
01:25:32.800 --> 01:25:33.960
and they move when God says,

1594
01:25:33.960 --> 01:25:35.920
the Bible says that the steps of a good man

1595
01:25:35.920 --> 01:25:39.040
are ordered by the Lord, not the steps of a prophetic man.

1596
01:25:39.040 --> 01:25:41.520
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord

1597
01:25:41.520 --> 01:25:43.440
and he delighted in his way.

1598
01:25:45.280 --> 01:25:47.120
And I just really want to encourage you,

1599
01:25:47.120 --> 01:25:49.280
a lot of times with prophecy and spiritual stuff,

1600
01:25:49.280 --> 01:25:50.300
we get really tied up.

1601
01:25:50.300 --> 01:25:52.560
There's a lot of spiritual manipulation happening.

1602
01:25:52.560 --> 01:25:57.560
None of these things, it's just wisdom.

1603
01:25:58.040 --> 01:26:01.760
There's no such thing as prophecy outside of wisdom.

1604
01:26:01.760 --> 01:26:03.720
They partner, they're a couple.

1605
01:26:06.280 --> 01:26:08.200
And you have to hold fast to that,

1606
01:26:08.200 --> 01:26:10.680
especially when you're operating a lot of prophecy.

1607
01:26:10.680 --> 01:26:12.720
Prophecy and wisdom walk together

1608
01:26:12.720 --> 01:26:14.880
and if they don't agree, you have an issue.

1609
01:26:17.360 --> 01:26:18.760
You know, the Bible says,

1610
01:26:18.760 --> 01:26:21.620
God says, I honor my word above my own.

1611
01:26:23.240 --> 01:26:25.280
He says to the grass within the flower faded,

1612
01:26:25.280 --> 01:26:27.660
but the word of God will endure forever.

1613
01:26:27.660 --> 01:26:31.640
The word of God, the logos word of God, there's wisdom.

1614
01:26:31.640 --> 01:26:34.560
He said, don't build a house unless you count up the cost.

1615
01:26:34.560 --> 01:26:37.260
He said, don't even follow me unless you count up the cost,

1616
01:26:37.260 --> 01:26:38.960
not unless you get a prophecy.

1617
01:26:40.600 --> 01:26:43.640
You count up the cost before you do anything.

1618
01:26:43.640 --> 01:26:45.440
And so wisdom is the thing

1619
01:26:45.440 --> 01:26:47.740
and all you're getting, get an understanding.

1620
01:26:50.560 --> 01:26:51.720
Are you following me?

1621
01:26:51.720 --> 01:26:52.800
I am following.

1622
01:26:52.800 --> 01:26:56.240
I totally agree and this is confirmation.

1623
01:26:56.240 --> 01:26:58.560
I have one last question, so you gotta go.

1624
01:26:58.560 --> 01:26:59.880
Do you think I should say,

1625
01:26:59.880 --> 01:27:01.880
cause we have mutual friends.

1626
01:27:01.880 --> 01:27:05.120
No, I think I just told you what you should do.

1627
01:27:05.120 --> 01:27:07.240
As in like, should I say, and we are friends,

1628
01:27:07.240 --> 01:27:10.040
don't worry, I'm still your sister in Christ,

1629
01:27:10.040 --> 01:27:11.720
or just say, no, I don't think we're aligned,

1630
01:27:11.720 --> 01:27:13.560
just leave it at that.

1631
01:27:13.560 --> 01:27:16.480
Do you want, can he sharpen you to help you grow?

1632
01:27:16.480 --> 01:27:19.680
I don't know him well enough to really know much.

1633
01:27:19.680 --> 01:27:21.120
That's my point, Joanne.

1634
01:27:21.560 --> 01:27:23.360
When you come talk to me, ask me if it's Jesus.

1635
01:27:23.360 --> 01:27:25.200
No, this ain't no prophecy.

1636
01:27:25.200 --> 01:27:29.400
So when you respond back and say, should I be his friend?

1637
01:27:29.400 --> 01:27:31.380
And then you say to me,

1638
01:27:31.380 --> 01:27:34.280
well, I don't even know him well enough to be his friend.

1639
01:27:34.280 --> 01:27:35.600
That's my point.

1640
01:27:35.600 --> 01:27:39.320
Okay, okay, it's just cause I know

1641
01:27:39.320 --> 01:27:41.680
I'm gonna have to see this person, right?

1642
01:27:41.680 --> 01:27:46.360
So I don't wanna have bad juju or like bad vibes.

1643
01:27:46.360 --> 01:27:48.440
Look, I know, I'm sorry you guys,

1644
01:27:48.440 --> 01:27:49.280
you have your hands up.

1645
01:27:49.280 --> 01:27:50.240
Y'all gonna have to vote for me

1646
01:27:50.280 --> 01:27:51.240
because we have to disconnect.

1647
01:27:51.240 --> 01:27:53.220
But I wanna say this to you, Joanne.

1648
01:27:54.200 --> 01:27:57.720
Being, clarity is kindness.

1649
01:27:57.720 --> 01:28:01.080
I think we underestimate vulnerability.

1650
01:28:01.080 --> 01:28:03.040
You get on the phone with your brother in Christ

1651
01:28:03.040 --> 01:28:04.740
and say, let me have a conversation with you

1652
01:28:04.740 --> 01:28:06.440
as a sister in Christ.

1653
01:28:06.440 --> 01:28:08.980
That's respectful, that's honorable.

1654
01:28:10.080 --> 01:28:12.880
And you say to him, we're not aligned

1655
01:28:12.880 --> 01:28:17.280
according to what I am, according to what I want right now.

1656
01:28:18.240 --> 01:28:20.400
And say, I don't wanna get into explaining

1657
01:28:20.400 --> 01:28:21.240
everything to you.

1658
01:28:21.240 --> 01:28:22.960
This is the decision that I've made,

1659
01:28:22.960 --> 01:28:24.600
but I'm having this conversation with you

1660
01:28:24.600 --> 01:28:29.600
because I honor you, right?

1661
01:28:29.600 --> 01:28:31.960
So what comes from the heart goes to the heart.

1662
01:28:34.240 --> 01:28:35.880
Yeah, okay.

1663
01:28:37.280 --> 01:28:38.440
Thank you.

1664
01:28:38.440 --> 01:28:40.640
You're welcome.

1665
01:28:40.640 --> 01:28:41.480
Gail.

1666
01:28:43.440 --> 01:28:44.720
Yes, hi.

1667
01:28:44.720 --> 01:28:45.880
Quick, quick question.

1668
01:28:45.880 --> 01:28:50.760
I talked to Karla regarding, I'm on phase two

1669
01:28:50.760 --> 01:28:53.440
or stage two in a relationship with,

1670
01:28:54.600 --> 01:28:57.200
now actually I'm on stage two with two guys, okay?

1671
01:28:57.200 --> 01:28:59.040
That's a whole nother story.

1672
01:28:59.040 --> 01:29:00.880
But my specific question is,

1673
01:29:00.880 --> 01:29:04.120
Karla told me that I needed to find,

1674
01:29:04.120 --> 01:29:05.940
the one guy lives close

1675
01:29:05.940 --> 01:29:08.440
and we have a lot of common mutual friends.

1676
01:29:08.440 --> 01:29:10.640
The other guy's about an hour and a half away.

1677
01:29:10.640 --> 01:29:13.200
And she suggested I get to know the other guy

1678
01:29:13.200 --> 01:29:14.800
in his community.

1679
01:29:14.800 --> 01:29:18.640
Well, there's no red flags with either one,

1680
01:29:18.640 --> 01:29:20.480
not a red, they're the,

1681
01:29:20.480 --> 01:29:23.720
both display a lot of respect and fruits of the spirit.

1682
01:29:23.720 --> 01:29:26.080
But the yellow flag I have on,

1683
01:29:26.080 --> 01:29:27.880
I guess it's yellow, maybe it's a red,

1684
01:29:27.880 --> 01:29:29.920
on the guy that lives away

1685
01:29:29.920 --> 01:29:32.100
is he doesn't go to church regularly.

1686
01:29:34.880 --> 01:29:37.720
But he says he's fully willing to go to my church

1687
01:29:37.720 --> 01:29:39.560
or support me, blah, blah.

1688
01:29:39.560 --> 01:29:42.760
And so, but Karla told me,

1689
01:29:42.760 --> 01:29:44.080
can go to his community.

1690
01:29:44.080 --> 01:29:45.560
You've gotta get,

1691
01:29:45.560 --> 01:29:49.920
you have to get familiar with his community that he's in.

1692
01:29:49.920 --> 01:29:51.880
Well, he doesn't have a church.

1693
01:29:51.880 --> 01:29:55.720
He, his, he doesn't talk to his one son.

1694
01:29:55.720 --> 01:29:57.080
They're not in good terms.

1695
01:29:57.080 --> 01:29:58.720
And I asked him, can you,

1696
01:29:58.720 --> 01:30:00.520
cause he wants to take me out again.

1697
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.440
Thursday. Um, he, we went Tuesday and I said,

1698
01:30:03.600 --> 01:30:08.080
can we do something with your relatives, friends or something?

1699
01:30:08.400 --> 01:30:12.240
And he said, well, in the summer I have a lot of friends around my camp,

1700
01:30:12.280 --> 01:30:16.760
but I really don't have too many friends that are close by. And,

1701
01:30:17.520 --> 01:30:21.080
and, and then his only family is his son who doesn't talk to him.

1702
01:30:21.080 --> 01:30:22.440
So I'm kind of perplexed.

1703
01:30:22.440 --> 01:30:24.880
He doesn't have a church family cause he doesn't go to church regularly.

1704
01:30:25.320 --> 01:30:28.800
I mean, where do you fit in that? I mean,

1705
01:30:28.800 --> 01:30:31.280
I agree. I, I, I see what you're saying.

1706
01:30:32.800 --> 01:30:35.000
Well, I just see him in community. I mean, I've been,

1707
01:30:35.280 --> 01:30:36.800
I've gone out on dates with him.

1708
01:30:36.800 --> 01:30:41.800
He's come here and I see him interacting with the cashiers and the people,

1709
01:30:41.880 --> 01:30:43.520
which is, he's very friendly, but

1710
01:30:48.360 --> 01:30:50.640
if you're going to continue getting to know him,

1711
01:30:50.960 --> 01:30:55.360
then I guess y'all are going to have to go around your community more. Okay.

1712
01:30:55.360 --> 01:30:57.440
Did you say he didn't have family at all?

1713
01:30:58.200 --> 01:31:02.040
He has a son that doesn't speak to him and his parents are dead.

1714
01:31:02.720 --> 01:31:06.240
He doesn't have any living relatives. Uh, he said he,

1715
01:31:06.240 --> 01:31:09.560
he has a camp that's closer to me about an hour away.

1716
01:31:09.840 --> 01:31:14.080
And he says in the summertime he has a lot of cookouts and stuff with his

1717
01:31:14.120 --> 01:31:17.080
neighbors and he watches their house and that, you know,

1718
01:31:17.080 --> 01:31:19.840
but it's a seasonal camp. So

1719
01:31:20.840 --> 01:31:22.760
right now there's nobody.

1720
01:31:24.040 --> 01:31:26.960
And how long have you been knowing him? About a month.

1721
01:31:29.360 --> 01:31:31.000
You like him, huh? Well,

1722
01:31:32.880 --> 01:31:37.080
I do like him. I, I, I, I've, I had, uh,

1723
01:31:37.640 --> 01:31:42.640
11, I hate to say it. I had 11 men I was chatting with. I got disgusted.

1724
01:31:42.640 --> 01:31:46.240
I narrowed it down to four, stop the dating apps.

1725
01:31:46.240 --> 01:31:51.240
And then I eliminated two of the four and I'm down to the two that I,

1726
01:31:52.480 --> 01:31:56.720
that had no red flags at all. The yellow flags are very,

1727
01:31:56.880 --> 01:31:59.320
I think superficial. Um,

1728
01:31:59.800 --> 01:32:04.920
and I'm confused because I like them just about the same. Okay. Let me, um,

1729
01:32:04.960 --> 01:32:07.240
the other guy has been six weeks and he,

1730
01:32:07.280 --> 01:32:11.920
and both of them would have expressed a very big desire. They have not, they're,

1731
01:32:11.960 --> 01:32:16.040
they're exclusive. They're not dating anyone else. They're not asking me to,

1732
01:32:16.040 --> 01:32:19.280
they both know I'm seeing somebody else, but they would really,

1733
01:32:19.600 --> 01:32:21.480
they really want me longterm. So

1734
01:32:22.480 --> 01:32:23.560
they want you to get up.

1735
01:32:26.360 --> 01:32:29.360
Let me, uh, let me, let me talk to,

1736
01:32:29.400 --> 01:32:31.320
I know Carla already told you to do that.

1737
01:32:31.360 --> 01:32:35.240
Let me talk with the coaches and get a little more feet. Um,

1738
01:32:35.680 --> 01:32:37.240
it's something that I want to say, but I want to,

1739
01:32:37.280 --> 01:32:40.560
I want to get some more feedback on that because that is an important piece.

1740
01:32:40.600 --> 01:32:41.640
Very, very important.

1741
01:32:42.160 --> 01:32:43.000
Okay.

1742
01:32:43.520 --> 01:32:47.040
And he didn't have community nor does he make community.

1743
01:32:47.080 --> 01:32:49.360
And so with this coming right for me,

1744
01:32:50.040 --> 01:32:52.680
he said his whole, you know, he kind of like it

1745
01:32:54.040 --> 01:32:56.600
incubates himself, you know, um,

1746
01:32:58.240 --> 01:33:00.920
in the winter, but in the summer, spring, summer, and fall,

1747
01:33:00.920 --> 01:33:03.720
he stays at his camp and that's where all his, and,

1748
01:33:03.760 --> 01:33:07.080
but they come from all different areas of the state, you know,

1749
01:33:07.080 --> 01:33:11.400
cause it's their seasonal camps. These people own on a Lake. And so they,

1750
01:33:11.880 --> 01:33:15.320
that's his community, but nobody really knows him.

1751
01:33:17.080 --> 01:33:19.800
Not, there's nobody that can really take, right. Yeah.

1752
01:33:19.800 --> 01:33:23.040
Let me get some feedback on that. And I'll, um, I'll, I'll,

1753
01:33:23.080 --> 01:33:27.280
I'll follow up with you. Okay. Can you make a post for me?

1754
01:33:27.280 --> 01:33:31.920
So I can just say, Hey, thanks for coaching or something like that.

1755
01:33:32.280 --> 01:33:36.680
Okay. Yeah. All right. And for all of you ladies that are new, um,

1756
01:33:36.720 --> 01:33:40.800
I just want you to know that it's, don't think I was being harsh on, um,

1757
01:33:41.160 --> 01:33:43.520
it's just a case. It seems like, uh,

1758
01:33:43.920 --> 01:33:48.760
hey pretty that I was a harsh on joy. I was not harsh on Joanne.

1759
01:33:48.840 --> 01:33:52.880
Joanne we've been, we chat a lot. So,

1760
01:33:53.760 --> 01:33:57.760
so I hope, please don't think that I will banter back and forth with you like

1761
01:33:57.760 --> 01:34:02.760
that. Uh, I just realized I needed to say that we've been rocking a long time.

1762
01:34:03.440 --> 01:34:07.120
So I just want y'all to know that we have a really good rapport with each other.

1763
01:34:07.520 --> 01:34:10.080
So I wasn't hard on her or anything like that.

1764
01:34:10.080 --> 01:34:12.960
I hope you can sense the relationship that was there.

1765
01:34:13.240 --> 01:34:17.560
So if anybody was offended, please don't be.

1766
01:34:19.400 --> 01:34:21.920
So, okay. Um,

1767
01:34:24.560 --> 01:34:27.680
I don't go over the name so many times. Lou Anna.

1768
01:34:31.960 --> 01:34:36.320
Lou Annie. Sorry if I said it wrong. Hey, it's been a while.

1769
01:34:37.160 --> 01:34:39.200
I know. Yeah. Uh,

1770
01:34:40.520 --> 01:34:45.040
so I don't even know where to start cause, um,

1771
01:34:46.160 --> 01:34:51.160
I did the apps for maybe a week and a half and it did not go well.

1772
01:34:53.760 --> 01:34:58.760
I gained almost 10 pounds after that cause it really

1773
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:08.000
really damaged how I feel about myself and how this did not go right.

1774
01:35:10.160 --> 01:35:16.960
The only feedback I got was from like, a robot. Like, it literally was, you know,

1775
01:35:16.960 --> 01:35:28.640
like those chatbots that people create to, to scam an app. Yep. Yeah. I went to

1776
01:35:28.640 --> 01:35:36.640
Miami for his home. Like I live in Tulsa, but Miami for the past year and everyone was like,

1777
01:35:38.400 --> 01:35:44.240
so scared of how much weight I gained. Oh no. Yeah.

1778
01:35:44.240 --> 01:35:59.120
Well, it'll come out though. It's just 10 pounds. No, I said 10, 10, 10. Well,

1779
01:36:03.760 --> 01:36:09.040
well, you know, I learned one thing about weight. It's sure as it comes, it'll go,

1780
01:36:09.040 --> 01:36:15.040
but yeah, I'm with you. I bet that's hard. We need to,

1781
01:36:17.680 --> 01:36:22.560
would you be, would you be opposed to booking a one-on-one session? That's not,

1782
01:36:24.560 --> 01:36:32.080
that's a lot from the interaction. Have you, have you,

1783
01:36:32.800 --> 01:36:37.600
have you asked the Lord about what happened? Like what, what happened when they, you know,

1784
01:36:37.600 --> 01:36:46.320
what, what's happening? I have, I have been asking. I think I got some answers this week.

1785
01:36:52.320 --> 01:37:00.480
I mean, maybe there's some spiritual things that I need to pray over and

1786
01:37:02.240 --> 01:37:17.280
fast. But also I don't know, just very, very low self-esteem is like something I've struggled all

1787
01:37:17.280 --> 01:37:27.840
my life with and self-worth. Yeah. Well, we want to deal with it. I want to help you with it.

1788
01:37:28.800 --> 01:37:34.160
Um, and the reason why I want to help you, Hey, girl, will you mute your, um,

1789
01:37:34.160 --> 01:37:36.000
your thing? Cause you type.

1790
01:37:39.600 --> 01:37:47.280
I've been divorced for four years now and I've never had a date. And I have friends in Miami

1791
01:37:47.280 --> 01:37:53.600
that just divorced and they already like living with a guy and they're already, you know, they've

1792
01:37:53.600 --> 01:38:04.080
moved on and I'm just, well, I wouldn't use them as a measuring. I definitely wouldn't use

1793
01:38:04.080 --> 01:38:10.240
them as a measuring because for one, that's not a good way to measure yourself. That's

1794
01:38:10.240 --> 01:38:19.120
not a measurement to have. Please don't use it to measure yourself. Okay. If you would do anything

1795
01:38:19.120 --> 01:38:26.480
that I know that you're safe, if you would just dump that out, that is a very toxic measurement.

1796
01:38:27.680 --> 01:38:35.120
You are not them. You don't even the comparison of what they have, or it's just not a good

1797
01:38:35.120 --> 01:38:41.520
measuring system. Other people is not a good measuring system. Okay. And so there's a,

1798
01:38:41.520 --> 01:38:46.480
what we would need to get to the bottom of is whatever lie you're believing when this stuff

1799
01:38:46.480 --> 01:38:52.480
happened on the dating app, what lie was that? Where did it come from? Replace it with truth.

1800
01:38:52.480 --> 01:38:56.720
That's how that's going to have to work. And they're going to have to keep working that truth

1801
01:38:56.720 --> 01:39:02.480
until the new person emerges. And it's nowhere around it. You know what I'm saying?

1802
01:39:03.280 --> 01:39:08.160
Is it muddy, dirty work? Yeah. But you look up in six months, you'll be a different one.

1803
01:39:09.120 --> 01:39:13.600
You look up in a year and you'll be a different woman. And it's better to be a different woman

1804
01:39:13.600 --> 01:39:17.680
in six months in a year than it is to stay the same woman for the next 20 years.

1805
01:39:18.320 --> 01:39:23.760
Because as long as you're served, as long as you deal with self-esteem and worth

1806
01:39:23.760 --> 01:39:28.000
and value, you'll always be prey for men who won't value you.

1807
01:39:30.640 --> 01:39:34.640
And that's not the position that you have to live in. And you've not been called to this space.

1808
01:39:37.600 --> 01:39:42.320
And so I know that there are a lot of things that we can unpack and we don't have time to

1809
01:39:42.320 --> 01:39:50.240
unpack that over the call. But if you would just do a little research or post for me

1810
01:39:51.600 --> 01:39:56.320
the lies, if you haven't done it, journal the lies that came up when you weren't

1811
01:39:56.320 --> 01:39:59.760
received well from your opinion on online dating.

1812
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.120
And we need to just track that down

1813
01:40:02.120 --> 01:40:03.440
to get to the root of what's happening.

1814
01:40:03.440 --> 01:40:05.120
It wasn't just the online dating.

1815
01:40:05.120 --> 01:40:07.180
Like I did some dating once

1816
01:40:07.180 --> 01:40:12.180
and the only guy I said yes to didn't show up to the date.

1817
01:40:15.400 --> 01:40:20.240
A friend recently like prepared this whole like dinner

1818
01:40:20.240 --> 01:40:23.480
for everyone so I could meet this person.

1819
01:40:23.480 --> 01:40:28.480
She really wanted me to meet for the past month and a half

1820
01:40:28.560 --> 01:40:31.880
and nothing came out of it because the person never,

1821
01:40:31.880 --> 01:40:35.240
you know, asked for my number, never followed through.

1822
01:40:38.040 --> 01:40:41.960
So it was a compilation of things, a compiling of things.

1823
01:40:41.960 --> 01:40:44.680
And I hear your heart in that matter

1824
01:40:44.680 --> 01:40:47.400
but we still need to figure out what you're believing

1825
01:40:48.340 --> 01:40:49.180
and deal with it.

1826
01:40:49.180 --> 01:40:50.800
It's not a lost cause.

1827
01:40:50.800 --> 01:40:52.680
It's actually pointing to what's happening

1828
01:40:52.680 --> 01:40:54.320
that the Lord wants to deal with.

1829
01:40:56.080 --> 01:40:57.680
Cause you're gonna have to get rid of it

1830
01:40:57.680 --> 01:41:01.640
because it's keeping you in bondage, right?

1831
01:41:01.640 --> 01:41:05.560
And so if you would write them, just jot it down,

1832
01:41:05.560 --> 01:41:07.960
journal the root lies and post them for me

1833
01:41:07.960 --> 01:41:11.040
and let's try to walk through them through the app,

1834
01:41:11.040 --> 01:41:13.000
you know, posting with each other

1835
01:41:13.000 --> 01:41:15.660
and then let's see how far we can get.

1836
01:41:15.660 --> 01:41:18.200
And you can always do a one-on-one coaching session

1837
01:41:18.200 --> 01:41:20.240
which I think will be really good for you.

1838
01:41:20.240 --> 01:41:22.820
But I understand if that's not possible.

1839
01:41:22.820 --> 01:41:24.680
I wanna help you the best way I can.

1840
01:41:24.720 --> 01:41:27.840
So if you would just post what lies you're believing

1841
01:41:27.840 --> 01:41:30.960
and let us just finger comb our way through them

1842
01:41:31.900 --> 01:41:33.600
and get you to a place of freedom.

1843
01:41:36.160 --> 01:41:37.200
Okay, thank you.

1844
01:41:37.200 --> 01:41:39.480
I really wanna help you with that.

1845
01:41:39.480 --> 01:41:41.240
Thank you so much.

1846
01:41:41.240 --> 01:41:42.080
You're welcome.

1847
01:41:43.120 --> 01:41:45.560
Okay, ladies, I hope that you have a good night.

1848
01:41:45.560 --> 01:41:48.680
My other two ladies, if you will post, we are over our time

1849
01:41:48.680 --> 01:41:49.920
but I thank you all for hanging in.

1850
01:41:49.920 --> 01:41:51.320
Pretty!

1851
01:41:51.320 --> 01:41:52.160
It's okay.

1852
01:41:52.160 --> 01:41:53.000
It's okay.

1853
01:41:53.840 --> 01:41:55.400
You know, I don't wanna leave y'all.

1854
01:41:55.400 --> 01:41:56.840
I'd be so happy to see you ladies

1855
01:41:56.840 --> 01:42:00.840
but if you will post for me, that would be really great.

1856
01:42:02.320 --> 01:42:04.800
All right, ladies, have a good night.

1857
01:42:04.800 --> 01:42:06.200
Good night.

1858
01:42:06.200 --> 01:42:07.040
Good night.