WEBVTT

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Another win! Okay. It's so small, you guys. The print is so small. Okay. What did I do

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for most of today? Before we get started, I just want to let you know that I have been

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hunting today. I've been hunting for a wasp nest all over my property. I've been looking

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for where these wasps are coming from. We have them every year, and they're the big

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red wasps. Have you guys seen them? They're called paper wasps. They're really, really

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large and very scary looking. Very scary. I was looking for their nest today, trying

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to figure out where in the world they are coming from. This is what I heard the Lord

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say as I was just running a comb through my hair before I came over here. He said, tell

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them that they've spent a lot of time looking for where the danger or the enemy is coming

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from. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Okay? Because God is going to reveal and

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heal. God is going to reveal and heal. Instead of us out hunting, like, why is this happening?

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Where is this coming from? You might even be hunting in your family tree. You might

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be in the courts of heaven trying to make sure that whatever's happening gets shut down.

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Take a beat, take a breath. God is going to reveal and heal. God is going to reveal and

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he is going to heal. Okay? So I wasted a good day today trying to do what? Trying to be

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hyper vigilant about safety, trying to figure out where the danger is coming from, trying

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to take it out myself. Although I did enlist David Dorman to be involved in this process.

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We had some scary moments today. Let me tell you what. Some very scary moments. It's like

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those wasps knew that we were talking about them. And one of them just randomly flew out

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of my stove. I'm like, is there a nest in my stove? Like, you know, the top thing that

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goes to the outside, the ventilation system. And David took it all apart. And sure enough,

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that wasp was there and we killed it, but there isn't any holes. There's no way. So

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that wasp was just hiding out in there. Heard us talking about it, decided to come out and

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say hi. But bottom line is I'm not going to spend tomorrow wasp hunting. I'm going to let the Lord

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show us where the problem is so that it can be taken care of. Okay? So reveal and heal.

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Everyone say that God's going to reveal and God's going to heal. I don't have to get a shovel out

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or have to dig around, try to figure out what's going on. I don't have to do that.

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I don't have to be hypervigilant about my safety. I don't have to be

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trying to fix my family lineage in line, trying to shut down wherever the devil's getting a

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foothold or stronghold. God will show you and then he will instruct you. You guys on page with me?

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Okay. All right. We're going to get started and have some fun. That was just a little prophetic

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tidbit. That was just a little, little tidbit for all of us. Okay. Sound good. All right. Let's see.

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There are 84 beautiful ladies on here. So I have some ideas of things we could talk about. Remember,

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this is our ladies only session. It happens every month because we don't need the guys

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lurking around when we're trying to talk about really private stuff. There's private stuff that

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we need to talk about. So that is what you want to save for this session. If you're wondering,

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like, what's the girl session for? It's to have fun. In my value ladder, fun is the top of my

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value ladder. We have to have fun. Okay. So we're going to have fun. We're going to laugh. We're

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going to goof off a little bit, but then save everything that you really don't want to ask in

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front of men or in a co-ed session or something that's not really serious about dating. Maybe

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it's just something that you want to ask about being a woman, about femininity, about sex,

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about hygiene, about weight loss, about a spiritual situation that you don't want to bring to the

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group when the men are around for whatever reason. The men have their own sessions every Monday.

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We have women only sessions one Tuesday a month. Okay. And so we're not going to spend this time.

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Now, if you have something that you wouldn't want to ask in a co-ed session that has to do

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with dating or relationships, then sure. But this is not a regular Ask Jackie. This is more

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of a collaboration of all of us ladies getting together and talking about lady things. Cool.

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The very first thing I would really love to ask you guys to get tonight kicked off,

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and I have been posting a lot about this over on my Instagram. If you don't follow me, you should,

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because I'm popping off over there all the time, getting in trouble, getting in trouble.

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You know, being a little too sarcastic,

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probably needing a little more Jesus.

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That's okay, I'm trying my best.

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But one thing that I wanna know,

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and I want you guys to just be really honest,

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there is no shame here, you don't have to hide,

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and we're not gonna judge you.

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We're not gonna judge you.

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Do you believe that your love story is predestined?

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Meaning God wrote it, he didn't write it with you,

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he wrote it, and now it's your job

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to try to figure out how to get into it

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because God has someone picked out for you already

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and it's a predestined thing.

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Please raise your hand if that's true of you.

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And it's okay, we love you still.

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We love you, if that's what you believe,

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then that's what you believe.

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Not a hand in the group, come on,

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except for just one hand.

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I'm like, not one hand.

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Oh, two, two hands.

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Could you explain what predestined means?

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Predestined means that God's gonna cause you

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to choose this person.

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He is going to cause you to choose this person.

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It's already been done.

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You don't have free will.

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God has a choice for you

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and he's gonna cause you to make it.

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Three people believe that.

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Now, maybe only two,

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now that I've explained it a little bit better.

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Thanks for explaining.

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Let's talk about this for a second

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because it's really important, you guys.

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Because here's the thing,

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if we believe any version of,

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I just wanna help you get out of your own way

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because I used to believe this kind of stuff too.

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Here's the thing,

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if we believe any version of,

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God is going to cause me to do it,

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even if we call that free will,

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like I still have to do it,

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but God's gonna cause me to do it,

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then it's not free will.

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God knows who's gonna be saved

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and who's not gonna be saved.

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People are like, well, God knows everything already.

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He already knows what choices you're gonna make.

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But you get to make the choices.

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You get to make the choices.

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Bottom line, you get to make the choices.

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Otherwise, what you're saying is

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God has predestined people for hell.

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Is that what you wanna say?

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That God chose the people that are gonna go to heaven

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and he chose the people that are gonna go to hell already.

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That's pretty bleak, isn't it?

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That's a bleak situation.

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Now, if you don't believe in hell,

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then we probably have a whole different conversation to have

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because I know a lot of people

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don't believe in hell anymore and that's fine.

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I don't talk about hell a lot

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because I don't need to talk about it.

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We need to give people heaven, not hell.

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Give them heaven!

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Because when you give them heaven,

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they don't really want to go to hell, so that's fair.

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I got the big water.

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I got the big water for tonight.

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Okay, I just wanted to talk about that

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because we have to take responsibility for our lives.

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We have to make choices,

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whether they're perfect choices or not.

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Well, they're never gonna be perfect choices.

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We have to.

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We have to start moving forward.

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And the only way we can do that is by making choices

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that we really don't know what the outcome

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of those choices are gonna be.

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But we're trusting that God is going to work things

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to our good, and this Supernatural Saturday

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is going to be about something really awesome.

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And I am gonna mention Romans 8, 28,

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God works all things to the good.

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And that's a perfect example.

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God doesn't will all things to your good.

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He works all things to your good.

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He doesn't will it to your good.

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For those of you that think that God's will

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trumps everything, well, you know, if it's God's will,

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God's will, God's will, God's will.

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No, God's will is that you be perfect in your love

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and your joy and your peace and your righteousness in Christ.

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All the details of like Mary, Brad and move to Wisconsin,

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that's not defined as God's will.

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That's defined as choices that we make

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and that we allow God to work to our good.

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The imperfect choices that we make

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with imperfect information.

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Because we never have all the details, do we?

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We never have all the pieces of the puzzle, do we?

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So we have to see through glass darkly, don't we?

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And is that what the Bible says that we'll do?

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We'll see through glass darkly?

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Have you ever looked into a car that had tinted windows?

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You can kind of see the people that are in there,

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but you can kind of not see, you can't see the details.

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You might see someone drinking something in a car

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with tinted windows,

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but you don't know what they're drinking, right?

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Do you guys see the picture of what I'm saying?

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We see through the glass darkly.

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Glass is dark.

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We can make out some things, we can't make out others.

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So you have to.

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in perfect action. You're never going to have all the pieces of the puzzle. You're never going to,

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for sure, for sure, for sure. No, no, no. That it's the right, right, right decision for those

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of you that are waiting for a lightning bolt before you say yes to whatever it is.

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And I really want to help you with that because God's will is that you live in joy and peace

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and in the righteousness of Christ. That's why the Lord's prayer says, let your will be done on

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earth as it is in heaven. In heaven, are you married to Brad and live in Wisconsin?

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Or Chad in Orlando? Whatever. No. It doesn't have to do with what job. In heaven, do you work at

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Dunler Mifflin, you know, paper company in the office? You know what? No, it doesn't have to

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do with that. You guys, all of our little details here on earth, we make to be such big details,

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but the bigger details is that you would show the world where it looks like to be a daughter of God

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by living in joy and peace and righteousness, regardless of what little detail decisions you

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make. Do you follow me? I know that takes all the magic out of it. Cause all of us want to

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be predestined. Even if we say we don't believe in it, we would prefer it

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because it would be much easier that way. All right. All right. Let's talk about girl stuff.

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That was kind of about girl stuff, sort of, because a lot of you are just waiting to be

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struck by a lightning bolt. And I hope that doesn't happen to you because it wouldn't be good.

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All right. Okay. Friends, girl talk commence. I heard you guys had to talk about nighties.

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The last time we did this and sleepwear, and we used to talk about something called GRFM.

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I'm sorry, GRFN, G R F N getting ready for naked. We used to talk about that back in the day when

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it was just women. And we had a lot of fun talking about that. You might say, what is GRFN?

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It's getting ready for naked. It's getting ready for the sex that we will be having in the future

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with our husbands and all of that and all of what that entails. As an over 50 year old woman,

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I will tell you, sex doesn't really get easier. It actually gets a little harder to navigate.

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And so, um, getting ready for naked is probably important. So if you have questions about that,

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whatever, anything you guys would talk about, you want to talk about fitness,

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you want to talk about makeup, you want to talk about anything, girl stuff, who wants to talk?

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I do. Hi. I didn't think I was going to talk about this, but I guess I'll go ahead and do it.

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I think you should. Um, I have had, um, two live dates

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and one zoom with a guy who lives, um, like an hour and a half from me. Uh-huh. Uh,

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I would call him mature marriage minded. And what's the other M masculine. Yeah. Um, I always

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joke when we pray on prayer nights, uh, prayer mornings, I'm like with money, we won't say no

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to money, the fourth M just kidding. Anyway. Um, I'm not against it.

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Um, so he told me that it's, it's probably a little early. It's been three and a half weeks,

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but it's probably a little early. We're talking about kids, but it just kind of came out. And

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he said, he's been afraid to have kids. He's 54 because he has people in his family who have

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disabilities, been born with disabilities, and he's been afraid to have kids. And like,

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in case they come out with some deformity, you know, um, I still have that ability. I don't

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know. I'm 51, but anyway, just wondering how to, cause I know you've said, and it's generally said,

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don't try to change a man's mind on what they want to have kids or not. You know? Um, I think

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he's open to adoption, but I guess the question is biologically, would it be improper to say,

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I'm trusting the Lord that if we had a baby, he would be normal. And if he's not, that's God's

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will. I don't know if that's silly. I mean, it's a little early to be talking about having a baby

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together. Um, the man's 54 has never had children. I think that kind of tells a lot.

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And here's the thing. And I've been talking about this on my Instagram. So Helen, I'm glad that

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you're bringing this up, but men have been told that they don't have an expiration on their

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fertility. And it's not true. Science is actually proving that men are the sperm,

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the sperm contribution to the conception is actually where a lot of the problems are coming

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from. Did you guys know that miscarriage? One of the, the, one of the, one of the factors of

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miscarriages is carried in sperm. Like it's like the sperm, it's the guy that's causing the

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miscarriage. Now we always thought it was our bodies. And I'm not saying that it's.

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ever our bodies, but a lot of the leading factors that cause the miscarriage has to

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do with DNA.

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00:15:06.840 --> 00:15:13.960
It has to do with the health of the conception, right, of the fetus, and that's where the

223
00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:14.960
miscarriage.

224
00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:16.880
We're just like, oh, I wasn't taking care of myself.

225
00:15:16.880 --> 00:15:19.720
I was stressed out at work that week.

226
00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:21.000
I had a glass of wine.

227
00:15:21.000 --> 00:15:22.000
I didn't know I was pregnant.

228
00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:23.000
Then I had a miscarriage.

229
00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:24.000
It must have been me.

230
00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:29.400
You guys, I had a miscarriage when I was young, and I probably shouldn't have been pregnant

231
00:15:29.400 --> 00:15:30.400
anyway.

232
00:15:30.400 --> 00:15:31.400
I was 18 years old.

233
00:15:31.400 --> 00:15:32.400
I was in a relationship.

234
00:15:32.400 --> 00:15:33.400
I lived with my boyfriend.

235
00:15:33.400 --> 00:15:39.520
I had lived with him since I was just a little over, just turned 17 years old, and my daughter

236
00:15:39.520 --> 00:15:41.380
Abigail did not make it to the earth.

237
00:15:41.380 --> 00:15:46.080
She went to heaven, and I always blamed myself because I didn't know this, and no one knew

238
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:51.560
this, but the majority of miscarriages are because of something that happened, something

239
00:15:51.560 --> 00:15:57.560
that the sperm was carrying, some kind of unhealth, and my baby daddy, who's also in

240
00:15:57.720 --> 00:16:02.720
heaven because of drug abuse, was an addict, and so that kind of makes sense, right, that

241
00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:07.000
his sperm wouldn't be healthy, but there's a lot of ways for sperm not to be healthy.

242
00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:11.160
Obesity is one of the ways, all kinds of different things of what they're doing and what they're

243
00:16:11.160 --> 00:16:14.960
eating and genetic things, genetic disorders.

244
00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:22.720
They go up five times after 40 for men, men, schizophrenia, mental health situations.

245
00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:25.560
Now, of course, we trust the Lord.

246
00:16:25.560 --> 00:16:34.080
We trust the Lord, but at the same time, we also have to look at why are we so focused

247
00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:43.760
on having to have our own biological children when our sister just told us adoption is an

248
00:16:43.760 --> 00:16:48.760
option and there's lots of kids that need to be adopted, right, and so especially after

249
00:16:48.760 --> 00:16:49.760
a certain age.

250
00:16:49.760 --> 00:16:52.600
So schizophrenia goes up five times.

251
00:16:52.640 --> 00:16:55.560
I think that autism, the rates of autism are much, much higher.

252
00:16:55.560 --> 00:16:57.440
We were always told that it's our fault.

253
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:00.360
The ladies are releasing a bad egg, and that's where autism comes from.

254
00:17:00.360 --> 00:17:05.119
We were told that, oh, old moms, if you get pregnant after 40, the chances of you having

255
00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:06.880
an autistic baby are really high.

256
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:11.880
Well, now we're realizing the reason why it's high is not because of your egg being damaged,

257
00:17:11.880 --> 00:17:17.280
but because you're probably having sex with a man who's over 40, if you're over 40, and

258
00:17:17.280 --> 00:17:20.760
their sperm DNA is where that's really coming from.

259
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:24.599
Wow.

260
00:17:24.599 --> 00:17:26.359
Who knew?

261
00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:29.720
And women's clocks are ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking, ticking, and we're always told to

262
00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:35.280
pay attention to the ticking of our own clocks, but men are just given permission to just

263
00:17:35.280 --> 00:17:37.960
ignore time.

264
00:17:37.960 --> 00:17:41.360
Mick Jagger had a bunch of babies when he was 75 years old.

265
00:17:41.360 --> 00:17:42.360
You can too.

266
00:17:42.360 --> 00:17:47.960
Well, just because you can still have an ejaculation doesn't mean that you should be having children,

267
00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:49.360
right?

268
00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:55.440
To answer your question, I think that you should just enjoy getting to know this person.

269
00:17:55.440 --> 00:18:01.280
If he's over 50 years old and he hasn't had a child yet, there's probably some other reasons

270
00:18:01.280 --> 00:18:06.480
why he hasn't had a child as far as getting into a serious relationship and having a child.

271
00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:12.000
Let's see if he has the mindset to be committed at that level, and then I think that you can

272
00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:15.680
trust, honestly, Helen, I feel like you can trust.

273
00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:17.760
It sounds like you really, really want to mother.

274
00:18:17.760 --> 00:18:24.240
It sounds like you can trust that part of your life to the Lord, honestly, because for

275
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:27.680
every mother's heart, I believe that there's a child.

276
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:33.000
For every father's heart, there's a child or more children, more than one, because God

277
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:36.440
knows there's a cause, right?

278
00:18:36.440 --> 00:18:47.640
And so raise your hand if you're over 45 and you're hoping to have a biological child.

279
00:18:47.640 --> 00:18:52.040
You're over 45 years old and you're hoping to have a biological child.

280
00:18:52.040 --> 00:18:55.360
And the reason why I'm using 45 is because that's when people start to think that it's

281
00:18:55.360 --> 00:18:58.600
really, really impossible, right?

282
00:18:58.600 --> 00:19:05.280
People give it to you at 40, 41, but you know, 45 and up, they'll say, oh, you're getting

283
00:19:05.280 --> 00:19:08.880
into dangerous territory now.

284
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:14.000
Raise your hand over 45, want to have a child.

285
00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:20.640
Yeah, Kim is making a valid point.

286
00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:30.040
She was only 22 when she got pregnant with her son who is 23 and he has autism.

287
00:19:30.040 --> 00:19:31.040
Makes it look really different.

288
00:19:31.040 --> 00:19:36.720
When we started hearing about the sperm and the DNA, the sperm is carrying because women

289
00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:42.040
used to get executed for not giving, you know, royalty, a male heir.

290
00:19:42.040 --> 00:19:47.360
And the science shows very clearly that men are responsible for the gender of a baby,

291
00:19:47.360 --> 00:19:50.360
not the egg, not the woman, right?

292
00:19:50.360 --> 00:19:55.400
We've been getting a bad rap for a long time, but we're not in here to hate on men, but

293
00:19:55.400 --> 00:19:58.000
we are in here to really call it what it is.

294
00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.000
All right.

295
00:19:59.000 --> 00:20:00.000
So we've got about 10 or so.

296
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.680
ladies, nine ladies who are hoping to have a biological child.

297
00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:09.520
Now raise your hand if you're, if you're over 35, just raise your hand.

298
00:20:09.520 --> 00:20:14.600
If you, if you raise your hand period, if you're hoping to adopt children, you're hoping

299
00:20:14.600 --> 00:20:15.600
to adopt children.

300
00:20:15.600 --> 00:20:16.600
Let's see those hands.

301
00:20:16.600 --> 00:20:19.560
It doesn't matter how old you are.

302
00:20:19.560 --> 00:20:20.560
You're open.

303
00:20:20.560 --> 00:20:21.560
You're hoping to adopt children.

304
00:20:21.560 --> 00:20:29.960
You would like to, you want to, you're hoping to get an opportunity to

305
00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:30.960
raise your child.

306
00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:31.960
Raise your hand.

307
00:20:31.960 --> 00:20:32.960
Okay.

308
00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:37.640
So there's about 21 of you, 22 of you guys.

309
00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:39.400
Okay.

310
00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:48.080
Now raise your hand if you are hoping to help your husband raise his children, be a blended

311
00:20:48.080 --> 00:20:49.080
mom.

312
00:20:49.080 --> 00:20:50.200
You're hoping to be a blended mom.

313
00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:55.040
You're hoping that your guy already has kids and you're hoping to be part of that parenting

314
00:20:56.040 --> 00:21:02.640
Oh, look at all these hands.

315
00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:03.640
I'm so proud of you guys.

316
00:21:03.640 --> 00:21:07.760
I feel like if I would have asked this a couple of years ago, I would have had crickets, but

317
00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:13.000
I feel like my work has been done here showing people that blended families can be completely

318
00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:14.000
rad.

319
00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:15.000
Right?

320
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:19.000
About 23, 24, 23 hands up.

321
00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:20.000
Okay.

322
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:21.000
Now raise your hand.

323
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:24.360
Everyone put your hands down.

324
00:21:24.840 --> 00:21:25.840
It's okay.

325
00:21:25.840 --> 00:21:28.360
And we're not going to judge you at all, but raise your hand.

326
00:21:28.360 --> 00:21:37.240
If you're hoping to have no children at all, at all, from anywhere, from anywhere, you

327
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:38.800
don't want to raise anybody else's children.

328
00:21:38.800 --> 00:21:39.800
You don't want to adopt children.

329
00:21:39.800 --> 00:21:41.900
You want to be a blended mom to children.

330
00:21:41.900 --> 00:21:44.680
If they have children, you hope that they're fully grown and that you don't need to be

331
00:21:44.680 --> 00:21:46.360
participating in that.

332
00:21:46.360 --> 00:21:48.680
You don't want to obviously have biological children.

333
00:21:48.680 --> 00:21:51.440
You just don't want any kids.

334
00:21:51.560 --> 00:21:55.240
You've kind of always made, you've been like that or you became like that as you got older

335
00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:59.480
and you're just like, Hey, it's not going to happen, you know, naturally or biologically

336
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:00.480
for me.

337
00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:01.480
So I've made peace with that.

338
00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:03.280
And I'm just, now I want to just be with my spouse.

339
00:22:03.280 --> 00:22:04.840
I just want to be with a partner.

340
00:22:04.840 --> 00:22:10.040
I want to build something else, but I'm not interested in raising kids.

341
00:22:10.040 --> 00:22:11.040
There's 10 of you.

342
00:22:11.040 --> 00:22:12.040
That's fine.

343
00:22:12.040 --> 00:22:13.040
That's fine.

344
00:22:13.040 --> 00:22:14.040
That is okay.

345
00:22:14.040 --> 00:22:15.040
All right.

346
00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:25.280
So now you guys kind of see who these ladies are, who each other are.

347
00:22:25.280 --> 00:22:26.820
Everybody wants something different.

348
00:22:26.820 --> 00:22:29.760
And I have to say that there's 104 of you.

349
00:22:29.760 --> 00:22:32.080
And there's a lot of you that didn't raise your hand for any of those.

350
00:22:32.080 --> 00:22:37.360
And those are the only three options.

351
00:22:37.360 --> 00:22:39.560
So I don't know what other option I could give you.

352
00:22:39.560 --> 00:22:44.160
Some of you are just like, I'm not going to raise my hand.

353
00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:48.000
That's all I got.

354
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:49.000
That's it.

355
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:50.000
I go, okay.

356
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.280
I guess there's another option that you already have children of your own and you just, you

357
00:22:54.280 --> 00:22:55.480
don't need any more.

358
00:22:55.480 --> 00:22:56.480
You already have them.

359
00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:01.800
You have them and you're fine with not having any more because your kids are getting older

360
00:23:01.800 --> 00:23:06.000
and they're already a handful and you just want someone who's going to help you focus

361
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:08.120
on your kids.

362
00:23:08.120 --> 00:23:10.120
And that's it.

363
00:23:10.120 --> 00:23:11.120
Nine.

364
00:23:11.120 --> 00:23:15.200
Now you guys know that I was only 32 years old when I married David.

365
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:19.240
We've been, we'll be married for 20 years.

366
00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:21.360
I could have had, I could have had a bunch of babies still.

367
00:23:21.360 --> 00:23:22.360
Right.

368
00:23:22.360 --> 00:23:23.360
And my daughter was six years old.

369
00:23:23.360 --> 00:23:27.400
So she was still pretty young when we were, she was five going on six and they were nine

370
00:23:27.400 --> 00:23:29.400
and 11 David's kids.

371
00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:30.960
And we definitely could have had other kids.

372
00:23:30.960 --> 00:23:36.000
And people ask us, why didn't you guys have like, cause we have his and mine, but we don't

373
00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:37.400
have ours.

374
00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:39.640
I consider all three of them hours.

375
00:23:39.640 --> 00:23:42.280
We've raised them together for the last 20 years.

376
00:23:42.280 --> 00:23:46.960
And I can honestly tell you, I know this might sound crazy, but it never crossed our minds

377
00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:50.020
to try to have children together.

378
00:23:50.020 --> 00:23:51.800
It didn't even cross our minds.

379
00:23:51.800 --> 00:23:55.880
We didn't have a discussion about it and say, yeah, we don't want to do that.

380
00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:57.880
We didn't even think about it.

381
00:23:57.880 --> 00:24:01.960
We had three kids, six, nine, and 11 and they needed attention and they need to be raised

382
00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:03.580
needs to be focused on.

383
00:24:03.580 --> 00:24:06.560
And there was all kinds of other things that we were doing in the mix as well.

384
00:24:06.560 --> 00:24:12.160
And we just didn't even think about it at all.

385
00:24:12.160 --> 00:24:17.400
And when we, when we actually thought about it and started kind of like, whoa, is when

386
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:27.440
I had a pregnancy scare and I say a scare because I was 47 years old and I had a chemical

387
00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:28.440
pregnancy.

388
00:24:28.440 --> 00:24:29.440
Have you guys heard of this?

389
00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:30.440
You guys know what this is?

390
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:40.840
pregnancy symptoms and the tests say positive, but you're not actually pregnant per se.

391
00:24:40.840 --> 00:24:43.520
Like there's not actually, you know, a fetus.

392
00:24:43.520 --> 00:24:44.960
And so that happened to me.

393
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:48.280
And you guys had happened at the same time that my daughter was pregnant with twins.

394
00:24:48.280 --> 00:24:49.280
So she was pregnant with twins.

395
00:24:49.280 --> 00:24:53.840
And right after she found out, I was like, man, if I didn't know any better, I'd say

396
00:24:53.840 --> 00:24:56.360
I'm pregnant too because of my symptoms.

397
00:24:56.360 --> 00:25:00.440
So I took a pregnancy test just as kind of a gag and it was positive.

398
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.080
And I was like, what, what's happening?

399
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:11.440
And when I tell you that your homeboy David almost had a coronary heart attack.

400
00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:14.640
He almost died and went straight to heaven.

401
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:15.640
I'm not kidding.

402
00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:20.400
And you know how people are like, oh, it's okay.

403
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:22.040
You know, they'll get used to the idea.

404
00:25:22.040 --> 00:25:23.040
They'll come around to it.

405
00:25:23.040 --> 00:25:24.040
I don't know.

406
00:25:24.040 --> 00:25:28.760
I don't know if he would have.

407
00:25:28.760 --> 00:25:32.320
I am thinking that I'm about to be in menopause and instead I'm going to be a mommy.

408
00:25:32.320 --> 00:25:33.640
I don't know about that.

409
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:37.680
Anyway, so that's the first time that we had a real true discussion about it.

410
00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:41.520
Not that we would have like had an abortion or terminated or anything like that.

411
00:25:41.520 --> 00:25:45.640
And I know that some of you are post abortive and you have had abortions and that is not

412
00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:47.520
any kind of shame thrown towards you.

413
00:25:47.520 --> 00:25:53.560
But we had the discussion after the pregnancy test, three of them came back positive because

414
00:25:53.560 --> 00:25:57.360
we had to ask ourselves, hey, why didn't we do this 20 years ago?

415
00:25:57.360 --> 00:25:58.760
Why is this now happening now?

416
00:25:58.760 --> 00:26:02.480
Because we were fully believed that we were pregnant, that we were going to have a baby.

417
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:04.880
And so, um, yeah, it's crazy.

418
00:26:04.880 --> 00:26:06.920
Jeannie said she's had a chemical pregnancy.

419
00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:10.480
You guys have never even heard of that before.

420
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:11.760
I've never even heard of that.

421
00:26:11.760 --> 00:26:12.760
Okay.

422
00:26:12.760 --> 00:26:13.760
Who else wants to talk about something fun?

423
00:26:13.760 --> 00:26:14.760
What do you got?

424
00:26:14.760 --> 00:26:17.400
Helen, thank you for your question.

425
00:26:17.400 --> 00:26:26.440
I believe God has a plan for your motherhood and it doesn't have to be talked about necessarily

426
00:26:26.440 --> 00:26:27.440
now.

427
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:28.440
Get to know this man.

428
00:26:28.440 --> 00:26:31.280
See if you even like him.

429
00:26:31.280 --> 00:26:32.280
Thank you so much.

430
00:26:32.280 --> 00:26:33.280
I have something.

431
00:26:33.280 --> 00:26:34.280
Yeah.

432
00:26:34.280 --> 00:26:36.680
I do too.

433
00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:39.880
Whoever went, I'm happy to go after them or I can go now.

434
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:40.880
Go ahead.

435
00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:41.880
Go ahead, Tammy.

436
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:42.880
Go ahead.

437
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:46.760
Well, I'm kind of feel like I've joined the club now cause I kind of, I matched with somebody

438
00:26:46.760 --> 00:26:51.640
on Facebook and he's in Georgetown actually, North of Austin.

439
00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:58.480
And he's real sweet, but I just don't know if, uh, he doesn't seem that intentional anymore.

440
00:26:58.480 --> 00:27:01.360
And maybe I'm just, my fears are coming up.

441
00:27:01.360 --> 00:27:04.440
My fears of, Oh, he's not that engaged with me.

442
00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:05.680
Oh, he's not that interested.

443
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:07.560
Oh, he's not pursuing me.

444
00:27:07.560 --> 00:27:12.760
This little trust issues and stuff like that's coming up, you know, and I think it's that

445
00:27:12.760 --> 00:27:13.760
more than anything.

446
00:27:13.760 --> 00:27:16.600
I had some concerns and some confusion at first.

447
00:27:16.600 --> 00:27:17.960
Why is he asking me that?

448
00:27:17.960 --> 00:27:19.880
Why is he asking me that?

449
00:27:20.120 --> 00:27:24.280
I even compared him to the guys at my church who are way too young for me or way too old

450
00:27:24.280 --> 00:27:27.800
or already married or not romantically interested for one reason or other.

451
00:27:27.800 --> 00:27:29.840
Okay, but Tammy, let me ask you this.

452
00:27:29.840 --> 00:27:32.080
Have you met him in person?

453
00:27:32.080 --> 00:27:33.080
Not yet.

454
00:27:33.080 --> 00:27:38.280
I've talked on the phone and we're trying to get a zoom, a zoom or video chat this week

455
00:27:38.280 --> 00:27:43.640
and I just thought to myself, well, you talked to him on the phone and how you guys live

456
00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:44.640
close together.

457
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:45.640
Is that what you're saying?

458
00:27:45.640 --> 00:27:46.640
No, no, no.

459
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:48.200
I'm, I'm three hours away.

460
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:49.840
Oh, you're three hours away.

461
00:27:49.840 --> 00:27:50.840
Okay.

462
00:27:50.840 --> 00:27:55.520
You talked to him on the phone, phone call, voice, phone call.

463
00:27:55.520 --> 00:27:56.520
Yes.

464
00:27:56.520 --> 00:27:57.520
Okay.

465
00:27:57.520 --> 00:27:58.520
That, that, how long was that phone call for?

466
00:27:58.520 --> 00:27:59.520
Oh, I don't know.

467
00:27:59.520 --> 00:28:06.480
Um, it wasn't like an hour or anything like that, but, um, we talked about cause he drives

468
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:07.480
for Uber.

469
00:28:07.480 --> 00:28:08.480
He's his own boss.

470
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:14.880
So this is in the evening and he didn't come see me that night even it was a Saturday that

471
00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:18.240
day and I'll come see me that night and meet me somewhere out here.

472
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:23.200
And I was like, I was kind of crazy, but so we were going to meet for dinner that night

473
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:27.520
and this was like three o'clock in the afternoon, three or four and he was going to drive here.

474
00:28:27.520 --> 00:28:31.000
He said it'd take about three hours and so I was going to wash my hair and a few minutes

475
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:35.560
later he texted me saying, um, he really couldn't do it.

476
00:28:35.560 --> 00:28:36.880
This is a busy weekend in Austin.

477
00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:38.320
He really had to work to pay some bills.

478
00:28:38.320 --> 00:28:42.120
And so I texted him a question mark and he texted me, well actually I think three hours

479
00:28:42.120 --> 00:28:43.120
is just too far away.

480
00:28:43.120 --> 00:28:44.120
I'm sorry.

481
00:28:44.360 --> 00:28:47.160
And I texted him back and I said, well, I told you three times on the phone, I asked

482
00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:48.160
you that.

483
00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:50.280
I said, why didn't you say that then?

484
00:28:50.280 --> 00:28:51.280
I wasn't mad.

485
00:28:51.280 --> 00:28:53.160
I was just confused.

486
00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:54.160
And he said, yeah, I know.

487
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:55.160
I'm sorry.

488
00:28:55.160 --> 00:28:56.160
I should have said that.

489
00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:59.120
And so, I mean, so what's your, what's your girl only question?

490
00:28:59.120 --> 00:29:01.960
Cause right now this is definitely not a Jackie question right now.

491
00:29:01.960 --> 00:29:08.440
I know, but I just, it's the stuff I went through since then mentally just thinking,

492
00:29:08.440 --> 00:29:13.240
well, I, I just, I don't know, is he pursuing me enough now?

493
00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:18.160
Cause it's been several days and sometimes I'll text him and say, hey, are you up yet?

494
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:21.600
Cause he works at night and so he sleeps till real late.

495
00:29:21.600 --> 00:29:25.120
And so I try to text him or something later in the afternoon to say, hey, are you up?

496
00:29:25.120 --> 00:29:27.120
Cause I don't want to wake him up.

497
00:29:27.120 --> 00:29:30.360
And, and sometimes he'll be available, sometimes not.

498
00:29:30.360 --> 00:29:33.520
And I just, I'm just impatient, I guess.

499
00:29:33.520 --> 00:29:34.520
Maybe it's just my trust.

500
00:29:34.520 --> 00:29:35.520
Okay.

501
00:29:35.520 --> 00:29:38.240
But you've just, you've just had one, you've just had one phone call.

502
00:29:38.240 --> 00:29:41.240
And a couple, a couple of phone calls.

503
00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:42.240
Okay.

504
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:48.120
And, and he, I mean, he told you, I mean, I know that it was too, it was too, it was

505
00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:53.440
too far for him to come on that day, but I feel like, I feel like he's telling you that

506
00:29:53.440 --> 00:29:54.440
it's too far.

507
00:29:54.440 --> 00:29:59.120
No, because I told him I have a cataract in the side, so I can't drive right now.

508
00:29:59.120 --> 00:30:00.000
Otherwise I could.

509
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.680
come and meet him halfway and I'm fixing to have my cataract surgery. In fact, I'm seeing the doctor

510
00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:08.080
Thursday morning and then I'm hopefully going to have it Tuesday. Well, what's the question,

511
00:30:08.080 --> 00:30:13.280
Tammy? Because I mean, I really can't, if you want me to kind of weigh in on whether or not

512
00:30:14.080 --> 00:30:18.800
he's motivated, doesn't seem like it to me. How long have you been talking for?

513
00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:27.760
Since, oh God, I can't remember. Not that long, maybe like less than a week, I think,

514
00:30:27.760 --> 00:30:34.320
but I'm going to ask him because I mentioned less than a week, less than a week. Okay. So you feel

515
00:30:34.320 --> 00:30:42.240
like you're having a little bit of anxiety right now? Yes. Cause it's like, Oh God, maybe it's not,

516
00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:48.080
it's too good for me. Maybe this, nobody really likes me. Maybe it's okay. Listen to be, to be,

517
00:30:48.080 --> 00:30:52.000
listen, this is the bigger thing. And this is, this is a good thing for us ladies to talk about

518
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:58.080
because ladies, so Tammy, thank you for asking. Cause ladies, you guys tend to deal with anxiety

519
00:30:58.080 --> 00:31:02.560
or anxious attachment more than men do. Okay. And I actually just did a post about it today on

520
00:31:02.560 --> 00:31:07.840
Instagram and it sounds like Tammy, doesn't it? In fact, let's just read it cause it's fun.

521
00:31:07.840 --> 00:31:13.120
All right. So let's read it. Cause Tammy's only been talking to old dude for a week and who knows?

522
00:31:13.120 --> 00:31:19.040
I mean, he literally can have a third nipple. I mean, he could be, you know, hair everywhere,

523
00:31:19.040 --> 00:31:24.800
but on his head. I mean, we don't know. We don't know right now. All right. So here's the post and

524
00:31:24.800 --> 00:31:30.240
it says Monday he's consistent and attentive and talking about future plans. Like in her case,

525
00:31:30.240 --> 00:31:36.640
coming to visit. And I think finally, this feels good. Anybody else? And then by Tuesday, he's

526
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:41.520
pulling back a little. I feel it immediately, right? Cause your nervous system's dysregulated.

527
00:31:41.520 --> 00:31:45.280
So immediately they're pulling back. They're making, giving you all the attention on Monday.

528
00:31:45.280 --> 00:31:48.800
And then Tuesday they're pulling back a little bit. And then you tell yourself, don't be crazy.

529
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:55.520
Don't be crazy. Don't scare them off. That's Tuesday. Wednesday. I reach out more because

530
00:31:55.520 --> 00:31:59.200
she said, Oh, she's trying to get ahold of him now. She's like, are you up? Are you awake? Remember

531
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:04.000
they've only known each other for a week and he's responding less. Tammy, this is the middle of my

532
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:09.920
object lesson. I reach out more. He responds less. This is just about anxious attachment.

533
00:32:10.560 --> 00:32:15.200
Tammy is not necessarily about you. I checked my phone more than I want to admit. Ladies,

534
00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:19.600
come on. Let's see your hands. If this is you Thursday, he says, he's just busy.

535
00:32:20.800 --> 00:32:28.240
I try to be understanding. I replay everything in my head. And I ask myself, am I being too much?

536
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:32.480
Am I not being enough? Right? Then Tammy just said, doesn't anyone going to love me?

537
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:36.560
Is anyone going to like me? Isn't anyone going to choose me? And then by Friday,

538
00:32:36.560 --> 00:32:40.240
he circles back around. Weekend's here. He circles back around like nothing happened.

539
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:47.440
And I feel relief. I feel a relief, but not peace. Saturday, we finally hang out. It's amazing. We're

540
00:32:47.440 --> 00:32:53.200
good again. I become even more attached. I tell myself, he's just not a good texter. Sunday,

541
00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:57.680
he's distant again. And I'm right back to where I started. I tell myself real relationships take

542
00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:06.240
work and nobody's perfect. Anyone see themselves in any variation of that? Right? Any variation

543
00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:10.320
of that? That means you're anxiously attaching. Tammy's only known about the sky. She only has

544
00:33:10.320 --> 00:33:16.320
known about his existence for a week of her entire life. How old are you, Tammy? I'm 58.

545
00:33:17.040 --> 00:33:22.320
You're 58. That means for 50 years, you have been an adult. And for the 50 adult years of

546
00:33:22.320 --> 00:33:26.160
your life, you have never known that this man existed until one week ago, babe.

547
00:33:28.320 --> 00:33:32.960
And so you got to dial it back and you got to deal with the anxiety that's behind it of what you

548
00:33:33.040 --> 00:33:37.280
were already talking about. Is anyone going to love me? Is anyone going to choose me? When is

549
00:33:37.280 --> 00:33:43.120
it going to happen for me? Well, yeah, I just, I just want to go ahead and drop the hankies

550
00:33:43.120 --> 00:33:48.480
until you do that FaceTime call. Honey, you dropped a lot of hankies. You've been texting

551
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:54.720
him to see if he's awake. He knows you're interested. He knows you're interested. My

552
00:33:54.720 --> 00:34:00.480
advice for you is to stop over-functioning and let him pursue. And if he doesn't, that's your

553
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:06.240
answer. He knows where you live. He knows that you're interested. If I was you, I would stop

554
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:13.520
trying to get to the next level, whatever it is that you think that is, and let, and let's see

555
00:34:13.520 --> 00:34:17.760
what he does. Because if he just drops off the face of the earth, then that's your answer.

556
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:23.280
And I know it's hard. Yes. You guys, I know it's hard, but nobody, ladies, none of you should want

557
00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:27.760
a man that you're going to have to drag kicking and screaming through this life. That's true.

558
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:32.080
Trying to get to do the things that you want him to do, the things that you need him to do,

559
00:34:32.080 --> 00:34:36.480
trying to get him to have the conversations that you want to have or need him to have.

560
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:51.360
No, no, no, no, no. Yes. Simone period. As Medea would say period. Okay. We do not want that.

561
00:34:52.000 --> 00:34:55.120
And you're an amazing woman. I can tell you're so articulate. Does anyone notice

562
00:34:55.120 --> 00:34:57.520
how articulate she is when Tammy's talking?

563
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.720
how articulate, how well-spoken she is. And I'm just going to tell you that if he wants to, he will.

564
00:35:09.200 --> 00:35:16.160
Absolutely. And for ladies, it's worse than the older men, okay? It's worse than the older men

565
00:35:16.160 --> 00:35:18.880
because a lot of them have been single for a really long time, like Helen's guy.

566
00:35:19.680 --> 00:35:23.680
And they're just kind of used to being single. They've already made it this far single. Maybe

567
00:35:23.680 --> 00:35:28.240
they've been divorced for a long time or they never got married. And unless they're really

568
00:35:28.240 --> 00:35:34.080
motivated at this age, we do not want it. We've got to wait for someone really motivated.

569
00:35:34.720 --> 00:35:39.440
And I'm talking to all you ladies that are 45 and up. Sometimes the younger ones are like this,

570
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.960
but a lot of times the younger ones are still looking to have a baby and that's driving them.

571
00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:50.400
They want to procreate. They want to sow their seed. They want to have children. They want to

572
00:35:50.400 --> 00:35:56.880
have an heir, you know, so they're a little bit more, they have testosterone still.

573
00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:04.560
They're trying, they're trying. And so the older guys, you know, we have to see something

574
00:36:04.560 --> 00:36:12.400
more from them because we're not looking for pen pals. We're not. And so if they're motivated,

575
00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:22.000
they're motivated. All right, Tammy, thanks for jumping in. You're beautiful and amazing

576
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:28.000
and incredible. And you need a man who wants to get to know you and is really motivated to get

577
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:36.000
to know you. And if this Uber, we'll call him Uber guy. If Uber guy is him, then he will be him.

578
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:41.520
I used to drive Uber. I just drive Uber 10 plus years ago. That's part of how I paid for my

579
00:36:41.520 --> 00:36:47.280
wedding. Just so you guys know. And I will tell you that you can turn that on anywhere. So he

580
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:51.760
could drive to, he could drive to where you live and he could take some runs. He could turn it on.

581
00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:55.920
He could take some runs, you know, he can go on a date with you and then take some runs. Maybe

582
00:36:55.920 --> 00:37:00.560
even takes a run home. Someone who wants to go to Austin from where you live. Bottom line is,

583
00:37:00.560 --> 00:37:10.320
is that where there is will, they will make a way. Okay. All right. Who else has a question?

584
00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:16.160
Hey Jackie, I have a super quick question. Girl question. Okay. Let's not forget about Gail is

585
00:37:16.160 --> 00:37:19.920
saying how far is too long for long distance. Let's put that there. Ladies. Let's talk about

586
00:37:19.920 --> 00:37:24.960
long distance dating. Ladies. If you have any lady questions about that, who should go first?

587
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:29.280
Who should move? Where? Who should do the things? Lady questions. Remember ladies, this is not an

588
00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:35.280
ask Jackie. This is girls night. Go ahead and ask. And then you went live like a while back

589
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:40.400
about your makeup and you mentioned makeup earlier, so I can't find it anymore. What,

590
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:44.800
what foundation do you use and your concealer? Cause you'd share that in the video and I didn't

591
00:37:44.800 --> 00:37:50.560
write it down and it's gone. You guys, I love this question and I switch out, you know, I've,

592
00:37:50.560 --> 00:37:57.760
I've been using house labs by lady Gaga, H a U S house, H a U S labs. It's a clean product.

593
00:37:57.760 --> 00:38:02.240
Now is it fully clean? Does it have any chemicals in it? I'm sure it does, but it's on the, it's on

594
00:38:02.240 --> 00:38:06.800
the cleaner side and Karanda your hand was up before. So we gotta, we gotta get to your question

595
00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:12.320
next. Um, but that's for a fuller face. Like you're going to go out on the town, like the lamb,

596
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:17.280
you have some, you know, acne scars you want to cover up, whatever. But if you want like a

597
00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:25.600
lighter situation, something that's light and nice. I also like, um, NARS N A R S.

598
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:31.360
They have a illuminating foundation. I use that. That's actually what I have on right now. It's

599
00:38:31.360 --> 00:38:36.960
kind of like, just like my skin, you know? And then, um, I like the NARS it's in the pot

600
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:45.520
and it's like a solid. I like their concealer and I also use, um, what other concealer do I use?

601
00:38:45.520 --> 00:38:52.960
Oh, it's a S A I L E. It's another clean brand. I don't know how to say it. S A I L E. I use

602
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:59.200
their concealer as well. It's called say, there you go, honey. It's called say, say what you need

603
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:06.800
to say. And so that's what I use. Thanks for asking. And my favorite, and you guys, I can't

604
00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:10.400
tell you what my favorite lip color is because they've discontinued it and I've been buying it

605
00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:13.520
on the black market. And then if I tell you, you're going to go buy it on the black market

606
00:39:13.520 --> 00:39:17.920
and there isn't going to be any more. So I'm going to have to gatekeep that right now. I have

607
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:23.360
to gatekeep that. Can you play the two lip colors that I love the most? Both brands discontinued

608
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:29.680
that color. What in the conspiracy theory is going on? Anybody else ever have that happen

609
00:39:29.680 --> 00:39:33.200
to you? You just love something so much and then they just continue it. And you're like,

610
00:39:33.200 --> 00:39:39.120
what am I supposed to do with my life now? What am I supposed to do? Okay. All right.

611
00:39:39.120 --> 00:39:45.520
Karanda you're up. Hey friends. Howdy from Atlanta. Um, so Jackie, can we talk about

612
00:39:45.520 --> 00:39:51.280
mammograms and wait, wait, who is, who's asking the question right now? Me Karanda.

613
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:55.600
Oh, okay. Okay. You said howdy from Atlanta. Why did I think you said

614
00:39:57.040 --> 00:39:59.840
Hallie like Haley? And I was like, wait, I thought your name was Karanda.

615
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.000
Okay.

616
00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:02.000
Mammograms.

617
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:03.000
All right.

618
00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:08.040
This can be listen, this could get spicy because I know a lot of people are pro and against

619
00:40:08.040 --> 00:40:12.200
and all the things and I had a mom that passed away from metastatic breast cancer.

620
00:40:12.200 --> 00:40:19.120
And so all the things so yeah, so my Yeah, my question is, I feel like the experience

621
00:40:19.120 --> 00:40:21.400
I'm having is common.

622
00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:24.000
And so I'm managing anxiety here, right?

623
00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:29.280
Like I've had my second mammogram and now I've been called back in for like a six month

624
00:40:29.280 --> 00:40:30.280
follow up.

625
00:40:30.280 --> 00:40:32.360
So I had one and then I had to get another one.

626
00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:33.960
And now I'm on like a six month rotation.

627
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:37.920
I feel like that is given the increases in technology, right?

628
00:40:37.920 --> 00:40:41.120
That is a common experience.

629
00:40:41.120 --> 00:40:45.680
But yeah, just throwing it out to we ask you a question, can we ask you the six month six

630
00:40:45.680 --> 00:40:51.120
month like, okay, instead of a year now they have you on six months, but for what reason?

631
00:40:51.120 --> 00:40:56.600
Because the radiologist did see something that was not detectable, it was detectable

632
00:40:56.600 --> 00:40:57.600
in the mammogram.

633
00:40:57.600 --> 00:40:59.320
And so I came in for an ultrasound.

634
00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:03.400
And they said, Yeah, we're, we don't think this is anything, we're not sure, but we want

635
00:41:03.400 --> 00:41:04.400
to watch it.

636
00:41:04.400 --> 00:41:07.400
And so they're doing another mammogram and ultrasound.

637
00:41:07.400 --> 00:41:12.000
So they said to you, so they said to you, this is normal breast tissue, as far as we're

638
00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:13.000
concerned.

639
00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:19.080
You know, but later, yeah, yeah, come back six months later, and we'll check it again.

640
00:41:19.080 --> 00:41:20.080
Exactly.

641
00:41:20.080 --> 00:41:23.240
Yes, it is a very common in fact, that happened to me too.

642
00:41:23.240 --> 00:41:24.360
It is very, very common.

643
00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:28.800
And the thing is, is that really, because of liability, they kind of have to say that

644
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:31.440
now were you flagged?

645
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:33.720
Do we have your annual mammogram and got flagged?

646
00:41:33.720 --> 00:41:39.120
Or did like a Did you have a self exam from a doctor that got flagged at the annual?

647
00:41:39.120 --> 00:41:40.120
Okay.

648
00:41:40.120 --> 00:41:41.120
Yeah.

649
00:41:41.120 --> 00:41:45.000
And then the ultrasound was just like, no, it's fine.

650
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:46.360
But come back in six months.

651
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:48.680
And how many six months have you gone back?

652
00:41:48.680 --> 00:41:51.360
So my six months is actually next week.

653
00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:54.480
So this was like perfect timing to be like, this is normal.

654
00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:55.480
Yeah.

655
00:41:55.480 --> 00:41:56.480
Yeah.

656
00:41:56.480 --> 00:41:59.200
Well, here's, here's what you have to understand, they need to follow up.

657
00:41:59.200 --> 00:42:06.080
But at the same time, you know, breast cancer is, you know, it's a it's a situation where,

658
00:42:06.080 --> 00:42:09.840
you know, they're not gonna let six months go by if they think there's actually something

659
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:10.840
happening there.

660
00:42:10.840 --> 00:42:11.840
Right.

661
00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:13.840
And I'm saying, because that's way too long.

662
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:15.880
That's way too long to have just let go by.

663
00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:19.880
And so I understand, we'll pray over you before we get off of here.

664
00:42:19.880 --> 00:42:25.040
But how many of you have dealt with dense boob callbacks?

665
00:42:25.040 --> 00:42:28.840
Um, yeah, who doesn't have dense breast tissue?

666
00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:29.840
Sharice?

667
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:30.840
Exactly.

668
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:31.840
Who doesn't?

669
00:42:31.840 --> 00:42:32.840
I mean, what the heck?

670
00:42:32.840 --> 00:42:33.840
Who?

671
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:34.840
Who gets Oh, your boobs are just fat.

672
00:42:34.840 --> 00:42:35.840
There's no tissue in there.

673
00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:37.520
Who gets that letter front in the mail?

674
00:42:37.520 --> 00:42:39.360
Um, yeah.

675
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:43.360
And Sandra said, you know, they didn't suggest a diagnostic MRI.

676
00:42:43.360 --> 00:42:47.560
So if they if they really were concerned, they definitely would have done that.

677
00:42:47.560 --> 00:42:48.560
Right.

678
00:42:48.560 --> 00:42:49.560
And people get cysts.

679
00:42:50.240 --> 00:42:52.240
People have had fibroids and like cysts, right?

680
00:42:52.240 --> 00:42:54.280
And then fibroids even in the uterus.

681
00:42:54.280 --> 00:42:55.280
What does that mean?

682
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:57.040
What is I don't know what that means.

683
00:42:57.040 --> 00:42:59.320
When you say cysts, what does that mean?

684
00:42:59.320 --> 00:43:05.080
Cysts are they're non-cancerous growths or fluid filled sacs, you know, and, um, you

685
00:43:05.080 --> 00:43:08.880
know, hopefully ladies, hopefully all of all of you do breast self exams and you know your

686
00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:09.880
boobs as well.

687
00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:12.200
Does everyone know their boobs really well?

688
00:43:12.200 --> 00:43:14.280
Like I know my boobs really, really well.

689
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:16.400
And hopefully you do as well.

690
00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:20.440
And, um, and I definitely suggest, I know they're like, oh, well, you know, you can't

691
00:43:20.440 --> 00:43:21.840
feel anything until it's too late.

692
00:43:21.840 --> 00:43:23.880
Well, that's not necessarily true.

693
00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:26.680
And so, um, someone said I have side boobs.

694
00:43:26.680 --> 00:43:27.680
That's funny.

695
00:43:27.680 --> 00:43:28.920
Um, okay.

696
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:30.720
So everyone put your hands down.

697
00:43:30.720 --> 00:43:33.800
Let's put hands down cause we're going to help our sister out here.

698
00:43:33.800 --> 00:43:38.640
Everyone put your hands down.

699
00:43:38.640 --> 00:43:44.960
Raise your hand if you've been flagged ever for anything that has to do with breast tissue.

700
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:46.880
You've been flagged.

701
00:43:46.880 --> 00:43:50.320
Let's see all the people that this has happened to.

702
00:43:50.320 --> 00:44:01.680
We have 20, 21, 24, 25, 25, 28 of 109, 30, 31, you can count me.

703
00:44:01.680 --> 00:44:04.640
So that's 32, 33.

704
00:44:04.640 --> 00:44:10.400
So probably about 30% of us and some people just have their hands up in their window.

705
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:12.640
They're not actually putting their hand up here.

706
00:44:12.640 --> 00:44:16.720
So it's quite a bit of us, but we're definitely going to pray over you since you're going

707
00:44:16.720 --> 00:44:17.720
in.

708
00:44:17.720 --> 00:44:21.160
And, um, and I thought she was going to ask, do you think mammograms are good or bad?

709
00:44:21.160 --> 00:44:23.200
Cause a lot of people are like radiation.

710
00:44:23.200 --> 00:44:24.200
Don't do it.

711
00:44:24.200 --> 00:44:25.200
This and that.

712
00:44:25.200 --> 00:44:29.880
And I really don't want to get in that conversation because so many of us just think so differently

713
00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:31.720
about that stuff.

714
00:44:31.720 --> 00:44:37.280
And it's probably not a helpful conversation, but you are not alone.

715
00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:42.800
We are with you and we also believe that you are going to be completely healthy and

716
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:43.800
fine.

717
00:44:43.800 --> 00:44:44.800
Amen.

718
00:44:44.800 --> 00:44:45.800
I receive that.

719
00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:49.200
I'm on the six months thing as well.

720
00:44:49.200 --> 00:44:53.240
Six months mammogram, then another breast ultrasound, and then an MRI.

721
00:44:53.240 --> 00:44:54.640
So if you want, I live in Atlanta as well.

722
00:44:54.640 --> 00:44:56.240
If you want support, you want someone to go with you.

723
00:44:56.240 --> 00:44:57.240
I'm happy to do that.

724
00:44:57.240 --> 00:44:58.240
Proudly to pray with you there.

725
00:44:58.240 --> 00:45:00.000
And, um, I do that because.

726
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.680
the BRCA2, and that's just my rotation.

727
00:45:03.680 --> 00:45:05.440
They never find anything.

728
00:45:05.440 --> 00:45:06.280
Amazing.

729
00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:09.480
Well, I'm headed to Emory, so I will reach out to you.

730
00:45:09.480 --> 00:45:10.600
You have the gene too?

731
00:45:10.600 --> 00:45:11.640
Yes. Do you have that gene?

732
00:45:11.640 --> 00:45:13.120
Yes, I do. Do you have it?

733
00:45:13.120 --> 00:45:15.620
How many of you have gotten tested for that gene?

734
00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:21.480
That's the genetic predisposition gene.

735
00:45:21.480 --> 00:45:23.560
How many of you gotten tested for that?

736
00:45:23.560 --> 00:45:24.960
Now, I didn't get tested for it

737
00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:26.600
because you guys know my mom had breast cancer

738
00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:27.920
and she's the only person in our family

739
00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:29.160
that ever had breast cancer.

740
00:45:29.160 --> 00:45:32.220
And also they tested her.

741
00:45:32.220 --> 00:45:35.760
And the surgeon at Cleveland Clinic,

742
00:45:35.760 --> 00:45:38.520
which is a renowned hospital that did her surgery,

743
00:45:38.520 --> 00:45:41.160
told me that if she tests negative for it,

744
00:45:41.160 --> 00:45:44.520
there's no way that I could have it, or my daughter.

745
00:45:44.520 --> 00:45:47.200
And so she tested negative for it.

746
00:45:47.200 --> 00:45:52.200
She was not a, it was not a genetically driven situation.

747
00:45:53.400 --> 00:45:56.960
So yeah, you guys, I have friends.

748
00:45:56.960 --> 00:45:59.040
I have, I don't want to call them friends,

749
00:45:59.920 --> 00:46:03.840
necessarily, I have colleagues in my life,

750
00:46:03.840 --> 00:46:06.240
people that are related to my husband, actually,

751
00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:11.520
that got tested for that gene, had the gene,

752
00:46:11.520 --> 00:46:13.880
and then had an elective double mastectomy

753
00:46:13.880 --> 00:46:15.480
at like 33 years old.

754
00:46:16.920 --> 00:46:19.120
You know, actually, she didn't just have a mastectomy.

755
00:46:19.120 --> 00:46:22.880
She actually ended up having a full hysterectomy, elective.

756
00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:25.400
She didn't have any tumors or anything,

757
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:27.240
just full hysterectomy,

758
00:46:28.520 --> 00:46:31.480
waited until she had her last child that she wanted to have,

759
00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:33.480
and then, you know, married girl,

760
00:46:33.480 --> 00:46:37.880
and just had all of her woman parts taken out and taken off.

761
00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:39.160
I'm not judging her at all.

762
00:46:39.160 --> 00:46:40.920
I don't know what I would have done in that situation,

763
00:46:40.920 --> 00:46:43.600
but you know, I do know that being a woman is hard.

764
00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:45.280
That's what I'm doing, Jackie.

765
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:48.320
I'm trying to, quite in the spirit of transparency,

766
00:46:48.320 --> 00:46:49.400
I'm trying to get pregnant now.

767
00:46:49.400 --> 00:46:51.480
I had the surgery this morning.

768
00:46:51.480 --> 00:46:53.120
I'm going to do a double mastectomy,

769
00:46:53.120 --> 00:46:54.640
and they're not going to give me

770
00:46:54.680 --> 00:46:56.160
a full hysterectomy unless I want it,

771
00:46:56.160 --> 00:47:00.240
but I'm going to get my ovaries removed after trying.

772
00:47:00.240 --> 00:47:01.640
We're just going to do one try,

773
00:47:01.640 --> 00:47:03.160
and if it can happen, great.

774
00:47:03.160 --> 00:47:04.520
If it can't, then I'm going to move on,

775
00:47:04.520 --> 00:47:07.400
but that's what I'm going to do as well.

776
00:47:07.400 --> 00:47:08.560
Yeah, and did you get tested

777
00:47:08.560 --> 00:47:10.920
because your mom or grandma or someone?

778
00:47:10.920 --> 00:47:13.000
All of my grandmother, not my mother,

779
00:47:13.000 --> 00:47:16.720
but my grandmother and all my aunts on both sides

780
00:47:16.720 --> 00:47:20.560
either had a breast or colon, and they passed away.

781
00:47:20.960 --> 00:47:23.160
Wow, I'm so sorry.

782
00:47:23.160 --> 00:47:25.880
I know that's like, not all the people,

783
00:47:25.880 --> 00:47:30.880
but my mom, and it's really rough and horrible, so yeah.

784
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:36.160
Yeah, Tiffany, I just want to like reciprocate the offer

785
00:47:36.160 --> 00:47:37.240
since we're both in ATL.

786
00:47:37.240 --> 00:47:39.360
Like, if you need support, like, please,

787
00:47:39.360 --> 00:47:41.120
I'm going to ping you on Facebook.

788
00:47:41.120 --> 00:47:42.480
Yeah, let me know.

789
00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:46.120
I'm happy to be there also, and pray for you too.

790
00:47:46.120 --> 00:47:46.960
I appreciate that.

791
00:47:46.960 --> 00:47:48.360
Like I said, I had a surgery this morning,

792
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:49.240
I appreciate that.

793
00:47:49.240 --> 00:47:50.640
Like I said, I had a surgery this morning.

794
00:47:50.640 --> 00:47:52.280
I'm getting around pretty good.

795
00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:53.640
I had a cyst on my ovary,

796
00:47:53.640 --> 00:47:56.760
so they couldn't do anything until I removed the cyst.

797
00:47:56.760 --> 00:47:58.440
And she was like, I think I'm going to take the cyst

798
00:47:58.440 --> 00:48:01.480
and possibly half of your ovary because it's attached.

799
00:48:01.480 --> 00:48:03.360
And when I got done with the surgery, she said,

800
00:48:03.360 --> 00:48:06.200
hey, I don't know, Tiffany, that cyst was just right there.

801
00:48:06.200 --> 00:48:07.160
I said, what do you mean?

802
00:48:07.160 --> 00:48:08.680
She said, I didn't touch your ovaries.

803
00:48:08.680 --> 00:48:09.520
Your ovaries are perfect.

804
00:48:09.520 --> 00:48:10.960
Like, everything was working.

805
00:48:10.960 --> 00:48:11.920
Your hormones are perfect.

806
00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:14.800
Your egg quality looks really good.

807
00:48:14.800 --> 00:48:17.280
I just took the cyst and then left everything intact.

808
00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:18.880
So I was grateful for that.

809
00:48:18.880 --> 00:48:19.720
Praise God.

810
00:48:19.720 --> 00:48:20.560
Amen.

811
00:48:22.280 --> 00:48:23.120
Wow.

812
00:48:27.120 --> 00:48:28.840
I'm just reading through the comments, you guys.

813
00:48:28.840 --> 00:48:31.520
Yes, connect with each other.

814
00:48:31.520 --> 00:48:33.160
Yeah, Tiffany, we'll pray over you too.

815
00:48:33.160 --> 00:48:35.680
I had no idea that you were dealing with all that.

816
00:48:35.680 --> 00:48:38.720
See ladies, this is why we have these women only times.

817
00:48:38.720 --> 00:48:40.040
You know, we want to have fun on here,

818
00:48:40.040 --> 00:48:42.400
but sometimes we just got to get serious about,

819
00:48:43.520 --> 00:48:45.760
you know, things that women deal with.

820
00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:47.720
And not that, you know, not that, you know,

821
00:48:47.720 --> 00:48:49.760
cancer and other diseases are not things

822
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:51.000
that men deal with as well.

823
00:48:51.000 --> 00:48:54.960
But, you know, this is something that we definitely

824
00:48:56.360 --> 00:49:01.360
need to love on each other about.

825
00:49:01.760 --> 00:49:02.600
Okay.

826
00:49:03.520 --> 00:49:04.360
Hold on a second.

827
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:05.640
I lost the participants.

828
00:49:05.640 --> 00:49:06.800
I don't know what happened.

829
00:49:06.800 --> 00:49:07.640
There they are.

830
00:49:07.640 --> 00:49:08.480
Okay.

831
00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:09.680
All right.

832
00:49:09.680 --> 00:49:11.160
Karanda, thanks for sharing.

833
00:49:11.160 --> 00:49:12.120
I appreciate that.

834
00:49:12.120 --> 00:49:16.480
Thanks for being transparent about that.

835
00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:18.440
Guys, that's scary.

836
00:49:18.440 --> 00:49:19.920
I was like a week,

837
00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:22.760
I wasn't even a week out from my mom's funeral

838
00:49:22.760 --> 00:49:24.840
and I was due for my annual pap smear,

839
00:49:24.840 --> 00:49:27.360
which I had always gone to all my life

840
00:49:27.360 --> 00:49:30.200
and was, you know, always good.

841
00:49:30.200 --> 00:49:32.200
And of course they do the breast exam during that,

842
00:49:32.200 --> 00:49:33.880
you know, the manual breast exam.

843
00:49:33.880 --> 00:49:37.440
And I was, I had started getting mammograms at 38 years old

844
00:49:37.440 --> 00:49:38.960
just because I had health insurance

845
00:49:38.960 --> 00:49:41.600
and they started covering it at 38 years old.

846
00:49:42.080 --> 00:49:43.240
And I'm like, sure, why not?

847
00:49:43.240 --> 00:49:44.640
No one in my family had breast cancer,

848
00:49:44.640 --> 00:49:45.640
but I was like, sure, why not?

849
00:49:45.640 --> 00:49:48.120
I started doing manual breast exams

850
00:49:48.120 --> 00:49:49.520
since I was like 17 years old

851
00:49:49.520 --> 00:49:52.440
because I read about it in 17 magazine.

852
00:49:52.440 --> 00:49:54.880
And I was just like, oh, you know, let me do this.

853
00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:56.560
So anyway, long story short,

854
00:49:56.560 --> 00:49:58.520
I didn't have a doctor in Austin.

855
00:49:58.520 --> 00:50:00.160
I hadn't had a gynecologist yet.

856
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.280
but I'd only lived here for two years,

857
00:50:02.280 --> 00:50:04.880
but I'd been in Florida so much taking care of my mom

858
00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:06.680
that I'd never gotten to have one

859
00:50:06.680 --> 00:50:08.400
and it was time for my annual.

860
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:10.560
So I had a referral to a doctor

861
00:50:11.600 --> 00:50:14.200
and the referral was from my doctor in Ohio

862
00:50:14.200 --> 00:50:15.080
that was retiring.

863
00:50:15.080 --> 00:50:16.760
And so the referral is gonna be for someone

864
00:50:16.760 --> 00:50:18.320
who's retirement age as well,

865
00:50:18.320 --> 00:50:20.280
because he knew her from med school.

866
00:50:20.280 --> 00:50:23.440
So she was older and I went to her

867
00:50:23.440 --> 00:50:25.960
and she had terrible bedside manner.

868
00:50:25.960 --> 00:50:27.200
She was grouchy.

869
00:50:28.080 --> 00:50:31.400
She was pretty rough with the pelvic exam.

870
00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:33.040
And then I was explaining to her

871
00:50:33.040 --> 00:50:35.320
while she was doing that about my mother

872
00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:37.160
and she wasn't listening to me.

873
00:50:37.160 --> 00:50:38.320
I was trying to ask her

874
00:50:38.320 --> 00:50:40.600
if maybe I should start getting ultrasounds

875
00:50:40.600 --> 00:50:42.000
because I have dense breast tissue

876
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:44.080
instead of just mammogram, blah, blah, blah.

877
00:50:44.080 --> 00:50:45.480
She wasn't listening to me.

878
00:50:45.480 --> 00:50:47.560
She wasn't hearing what I was saying.

879
00:50:47.560 --> 00:50:51.000
And she started doing the manual exam

880
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:53.040
and she's like, oh, you have a mass.

881
00:50:53.040 --> 00:50:55.600
You gotta go straight to diagnostic mammogram.

882
00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:57.760
And I was like, what, wait, what?

883
00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:00.520
Like it happened so fast and it was so scary.

884
00:51:00.520 --> 00:51:02.600
And like I said, she was not friendly.

885
00:51:02.600 --> 00:51:04.280
She was being very aggressive.

886
00:51:04.280 --> 00:51:06.720
And I was like, what?

887
00:51:06.720 --> 00:51:07.760
No, I don't have a mass.

888
00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:09.560
I was like, that's just what my boob feels like.

889
00:51:09.560 --> 00:51:11.200
Oh, well, I'm marking it down.

890
00:51:11.200 --> 00:51:13.960
If you refuse it, then that's on you, blah, blah, blah.

891
00:51:13.960 --> 00:51:16.600
So I leave, I'm like shook up.

892
00:51:16.600 --> 00:51:18.080
My mom just died a week ago.

893
00:51:18.080 --> 00:51:19.840
I don't really know what to do.

894
00:51:19.840 --> 00:51:21.760
And so my husband's in the waiting room

895
00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:25.040
and I was like, hey, I didn't have any health insurance.

896
00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:27.120
I have to pay out of pocket for this.

897
00:51:27.120 --> 00:51:30.200
And so I call the diagnostic mammogram place

898
00:51:30.200 --> 00:51:31.880
and they just happen to have a cancellation

899
00:51:31.880 --> 00:51:33.000
and an opening right there.

900
00:51:33.000 --> 00:51:34.360
That was the Lord.

901
00:51:34.360 --> 00:51:36.360
He didn't want me to have to wait weeks

902
00:51:36.360 --> 00:51:39.040
and deal with this mentally, emotionally.

903
00:51:39.040 --> 00:51:42.000
So I go in, they put me in the mammogram machine

904
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:44.080
and they do a mammogram.

905
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:47.400
And then I go into ultrasound, they do the ultrasound

906
00:51:47.400 --> 00:51:48.560
and I just don't know what to think.

907
00:51:48.560 --> 00:51:50.200
I'm just like, Jesus, take the wheel.

908
00:51:50.200 --> 00:51:51.960
I have no idea what's going on.

909
00:51:51.960 --> 00:51:54.120
And then they send me back to mammogram again

910
00:51:54.120 --> 00:51:56.320
to get more scans, back to ultrasound.

911
00:51:56.320 --> 00:51:58.840
I think I went to mammogram two or three times

912
00:51:58.840 --> 00:52:01.000
because they couldn't find what this doctor

913
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:04.120
was talking about because there was nothing there.

914
00:52:04.120 --> 00:52:06.400
I mean, it was breast tissue.

915
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:07.480
It was my breast tissue

916
00:52:07.480 --> 00:52:09.360
because that's what my breast tissue looks like.

917
00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:11.760
And so then they go to radiology and then they come out

918
00:52:11.760 --> 00:52:14.520
and they say to me, Karanda, they say,

919
00:52:14.520 --> 00:52:17.480
we've really tried because this doctor was really specific.

920
00:52:17.480 --> 00:52:21.760
She said two o'clock, two inch mass, all this thing.

921
00:52:21.760 --> 00:52:23.840
She gave really specific instructions.

922
00:52:24.520 --> 00:52:26.720
And so they have to do their due diligence,

923
00:52:26.720 --> 00:52:28.000
but they weren't able to see anything

924
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:32.520
but what looked like in their opinion, normal breast tissue.

925
00:52:32.520 --> 00:52:36.680
And so they're like, it looks like normal breast tissue.

926
00:52:36.680 --> 00:52:38.720
You can come back in six months and we'll check it again.

927
00:52:38.720 --> 00:52:41.080
I'm like, I ain't coming back here.

928
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:45.960
I will not, I will see you never, you know?

929
00:52:46.840 --> 00:52:49.760
Horrible experience, y'all.

930
00:52:49.760 --> 00:52:52.800
And a lot of you have horror stories like that too.

931
00:52:53.960 --> 00:52:57.720
And it's just like, mm, mm, mm.

932
00:52:57.720 --> 00:53:00.760
So I have a great doctor here in Austin now

933
00:53:00.760 --> 00:53:03.480
who I haven't been back, true to my word.

934
00:53:03.480 --> 00:53:06.560
So that was over five years ago, six years ago almost.

935
00:53:06.560 --> 00:53:09.000
It actually was over six years ago

936
00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:11.160
and I haven't had a mammogram since then either, why?

937
00:53:11.160 --> 00:53:12.280
Because I got traumatized.

938
00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:14.280
How many of you got traumatized by something

939
00:53:14.280 --> 00:53:15.800
and now you haven't gone back

940
00:53:15.800 --> 00:53:17.800
and gotten any testing or anything done

941
00:53:17.800 --> 00:53:20.760
and maybe it's crossed your mind, should I do that?

942
00:53:20.760 --> 00:53:21.800
Do I need to do that?

943
00:53:21.800 --> 00:53:23.200
What do I need to do?

944
00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:25.040
Well, I have a great doctor here in Austin now

945
00:53:25.040 --> 00:53:29.120
who Texas actually recognizes ultrasounds

946
00:53:29.120 --> 00:53:31.600
as the preventative measures,

947
00:53:31.600 --> 00:53:34.280
as preventative measures that insurance pays for.

948
00:53:34.280 --> 00:53:37.400
And so I can actually go straight to ultrasound now

949
00:53:37.400 --> 00:53:38.600
instead of having mammograms.

950
00:53:38.600 --> 00:53:39.440
And guess what?

951
00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:40.800
Ultrasounds don't have radiation.

952
00:53:40.800 --> 00:53:43.400
And if they see anything, you know, interesting on those,

953
00:53:43.400 --> 00:53:45.280
then I guess they would send you to mammogram.

954
00:53:45.280 --> 00:53:47.200
But look at all the people's hands.

955
00:53:47.200 --> 00:53:48.960
It doesn't even have to be about your breasts.

956
00:53:48.960 --> 00:53:52.760
Raise your hands if you have had some sort of medical,

957
00:53:54.120 --> 00:53:55.640
I don't even wanna call it malpractice,

958
00:53:55.640 --> 00:53:57.800
but you have had a situation that has caused you

959
00:53:57.800 --> 00:54:02.800
to now not want or trust any people in that industry.

960
00:54:12.680 --> 00:54:13.520
Keep raising your hand.

961
00:54:13.520 --> 00:54:15.960
We wanna see all the people that have been traumatized

962
00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:17.520
by some kind of medical thing.

963
00:54:17.520 --> 00:54:18.720
And maybe it didn't even happen to you.

964
00:54:19.480 --> 00:54:20.920
It might've happened to your mom or your dad.

965
00:54:20.920 --> 00:54:22.240
And then you were there for it.

966
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:23.880
And you were just like, oh,

967
00:54:23.880 --> 00:54:25.960
and now it's made you like not wanna go to the dentist.

968
00:54:25.960 --> 00:54:27.440
It's made you not wanna go to the doctor.

969
00:54:27.440 --> 00:54:29.680
It made you not wanna go to whatever

970
00:54:29.680 --> 00:54:34.680
because of that thing that you witnessed.

971
00:54:34.920 --> 00:54:37.160
You guys, my mom was out of surgery

972
00:54:37.160 --> 00:54:39.600
because she had bone cancer and, you know, breast to bone.

973
00:54:39.600 --> 00:54:41.520
And she got out of surgery, had pins.

974
00:54:41.520 --> 00:54:43.320
She was getting a pin in her leg.

975
00:54:43.320 --> 00:54:45.320
She was getting her broken leg fixed.

976
00:54:45.320 --> 00:54:47.200
And the nurse wouldn't listen to my mom.

977
00:54:47.200 --> 00:54:50.240
In the ICU, my mom said, my bones are really brittle.

978
00:54:50.240 --> 00:54:51.960
I have hot spots in my bones.

979
00:54:51.960 --> 00:54:54.320
You know, you can't pull me up by my arms.

980
00:54:54.320 --> 00:54:58.560
But she pulled her up anyway, broke my mom's arm in the ICU.

981
00:54:58.560 --> 00:55:00.360
And my mom had to go straight back.

982
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.420
back into surgery for another eight, nine, 10 hour surgery to get a rod put in her arm

983
00:55:05.420 --> 00:55:10.140
because this nurse was tired, didn't like her job, wasn't going to listen to what my

984
00:55:10.140 --> 00:55:11.140
mom was saying.

985
00:55:11.140 --> 00:55:18.580
And of course, I happened to be out of the room getting something when that happened.

986
00:55:18.580 --> 00:55:21.500
And then of course, that makes you feel bad because if I was there, I would have been

987
00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:25.460
like, you better stay in back lady and stop touching my mom.

988
00:55:25.460 --> 00:55:31.700
But just so you guys know, there was about 41 of you out of 108 that had their hand up

989
00:55:31.700 --> 00:55:32.700
for that.

990
00:55:32.700 --> 00:55:33.700
Almost half.

991
00:55:33.700 --> 00:55:34.700
All right.

992
00:55:34.700 --> 00:55:35.780
Put your hands down.

993
00:55:35.780 --> 00:55:36.780
So I want to pray over you.

994
00:55:36.780 --> 00:55:40.020
Father God is pray for all your daughters right now that have been traumatized by health

995
00:55:40.020 --> 00:55:45.460
situations that have been traumatized by false positive reports.

996
00:55:45.460 --> 00:55:47.820
And then they were put through craziness because of it.

997
00:55:47.820 --> 00:55:52.320
They were traumatized by doctors or nurses or medical professionals who had lost the

998
00:55:52.320 --> 00:55:53.600
passion for the career.

999
00:55:53.600 --> 00:55:57.000
Maybe never had it in the first place and treated them poorly, treated someone they

1000
00:55:57.000 --> 00:55:58.000
loved poorly.

1001
00:55:58.000 --> 00:56:02.520
I pray God that you would put people in their life that have answers for all of our health

1002
00:56:02.520 --> 00:56:03.960
situations.

1003
00:56:03.960 --> 00:56:07.320
People that have answers for anything and everything that we need to keep ourselves

1004
00:56:07.320 --> 00:56:08.680
healthy Lord.

1005
00:56:08.680 --> 00:56:10.920
You see what we need and you know how to get it to us.

1006
00:56:10.920 --> 00:56:15.360
So I'm just declaring over each and every one of those people that there are medical

1007
00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:20.760
people, functional medical people, MDs if that's what they prefer, dentists, nurses,

1008
00:56:20.760 --> 00:56:26.520
practitioners, a nutritionist, whatever it is that they need father, that you have those

1009
00:56:26.520 --> 00:56:32.760
people for them and that you are connecting them to those people in Jesus name.

1010
00:56:32.760 --> 00:56:33.760
Amen.

1011
00:56:33.760 --> 00:56:42.200
I also just want to declare over all of you that none of you, none of you will be drugged

1012
00:56:42.200 --> 00:56:49.880
down a road, a scary road of, you know, just, uh, hypotheticals about your health and be,

1013
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:54.720
you know, some Guinea pig, um, in the medical industry, you know, with big pharma.

1014
00:56:54.720 --> 00:56:56.800
And so we just declare that in Jesus name.

1015
00:56:56.800 --> 00:56:57.800
Amen.

1016
00:56:57.800 --> 00:56:58.800
All right, go ahead.

1017
00:56:58.800 --> 00:56:59.800
Yeah.

1018
00:56:59.800 --> 00:57:03.320
Um, just on that note, I just feel like being part of this community, I have to share that

1019
00:57:03.320 --> 00:57:08.120
I'm, I'm a, I work for Dr. Pete Sulak, so he does holistic cancer healing.

1020
00:57:08.120 --> 00:57:10.280
And so there's a metabolic approach.

1021
00:57:10.280 --> 00:57:15.400
Um, and we've just seen incredible, incredible results with, you know, breast cancer, all

1022
00:57:15.400 --> 00:57:16.760
different types of cancer.

1023
00:57:16.760 --> 00:57:19.040
And so he has a free protocol.

1024
00:57:19.040 --> 00:57:22.560
So I don't know if there's anyone in the group that's dealing with anything with that.

1025
00:57:22.560 --> 00:57:28.120
I know the girls who shared, there is a doctor in Atlanta, Georgia named Jez Agoli, and he's

1026
00:57:28.120 --> 00:57:31.880
an amazing metabolic doctor if you want to look them up online as well.

1027
00:57:31.880 --> 00:57:36.320
So just in regards to health, if there's anyone that ever needs any support in that area,

1028
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:38.640
um, you, you can message me on the group.

1029
00:57:38.640 --> 00:57:40.440
I'm in phase three, it's just Kate Whitney.

1030
00:57:40.440 --> 00:57:43.480
So I just feel like being a part of this group, this whole conversation, I talk to cancer

1031
00:57:43.480 --> 00:57:46.480
clients daily and we just see so many amazing testimonies.

1032
00:57:46.480 --> 00:57:47.720
So your body is designed to heal.

1033
00:57:47.720 --> 00:57:51.640
So I just wanted to share that if you guys need any support too.

1034
00:57:51.640 --> 00:57:56.880
And then there's that as well, your body's designed to heal, amen, your body's designed

1035
00:57:56.880 --> 00:57:57.880
to heal.

1036
00:57:57.880 --> 00:57:58.880
All right.

1037
00:57:58.880 --> 00:58:03.840
Um, Becky, can I ask some of you, some of you've already been down this road and you're

1038
00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:08.640
survivors of some kind of disease, you're survivors of autoimmune diseases of cancers,

1039
00:58:08.640 --> 00:58:12.360
you're survivors of metabolic diseases that are other diseases.

1040
00:58:12.360 --> 00:58:18.320
You guys are amazing, wonderful, incredible women that have the hand of God on your lives.

1041
00:58:18.320 --> 00:58:23.160
And God has plan a plan for every area of your life, including your health.

1042
00:58:23.160 --> 00:58:24.160
Go ahead.

1043
00:58:24.160 --> 00:58:25.160
Okay.

1044
00:58:25.160 --> 00:58:26.160
So I have to get glasses.

1045
00:58:26.160 --> 00:58:32.920
Um, and I've never worn glasses and I don't want them to look crazy because every, sometimes

1046
00:58:32.920 --> 00:58:37.520
we don't, sometimes people don't look great in glasses and I want to make sure I look

1047
00:58:37.520 --> 00:58:39.200
great in glasses.

1048
00:58:39.200 --> 00:58:44.080
Is there like a website or something or do you just try on a bunch for your face?

1049
00:58:44.080 --> 00:58:48.200
I personally would just go to Warby Parker and try on tons of glasses if I were you.

1050
00:58:48.200 --> 00:58:50.160
I mean, they're very, very helpful there.

1051
00:58:50.160 --> 00:58:52.080
They're very stylish people that work there.

1052
00:58:52.080 --> 00:58:54.880
Um, all of my glasses always come from Warby.

1053
00:58:54.880 --> 00:58:59.640
Um, and then you can find something like if you see something that you like there, cause

1054
00:58:59.640 --> 00:59:02.600
you know, they are pretty cheap frames and you want something like Chanel, you want some

1055
00:59:02.600 --> 00:59:06.560
Gucci, you want some whatever frames and you go to lens crafters and you maybe pick out

1056
00:59:06.560 --> 00:59:10.440
a frame that's like the same shape and style of the ones that you tried on there.

1057
00:59:10.440 --> 00:59:14.040
Also lens crafters is another option as well, especially if you have eye insurance cause

1058
00:59:14.040 --> 00:59:19.440
you can get some really nice glasses at lens crafters for the only place I don't buy glasses

1059
00:59:19.440 --> 00:59:24.320
cause I buy them at both those places, lens crafters and Warby is the doctor's office

1060
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:27.160
because they mark those up, up, up, up, up.

1061
00:59:27.160 --> 00:59:31.720
So, um, but yeah, if I were you, I just go on and you know, Warby and a lot of places

1062
00:59:31.720 --> 00:59:36.280
like that actually have where you can pick out frames online if you're really busy and

1063
00:59:36.280 --> 00:59:39.080
you don't have time to get in and then they'll mail them to you.

1064
00:59:39.080 --> 00:59:43.240
You can try them on, see if you like any of them and, and ship them back.

1065
00:59:43.240 --> 00:59:44.640
They let you do that as well.

1066
00:59:44.640 --> 00:59:46.400
Obviously there's no prescription in them.

1067
00:59:46.400 --> 00:59:48.600
They're just frames, but they do that as well.

1068
00:59:48.600 --> 00:59:54.480
How do you keep makeup and like dents and stuff off your face?

1069
00:59:54.480 --> 00:59:55.480
Does makeup get on your glasses?

1070
00:59:55.480 --> 00:59:57.000
Do you have like dents or anything?

1071
00:59:57.000 --> 00:59:58.000
Yeah.

1072
00:59:58.000 --> 00:59:59.520
I mean, you know, you just use powder, honey.

1073
00:59:59.520 --> 01:00:00.040
You just pop your.

1074
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.200
use powder, powder your nose, use powder. I mean, I don't take my glasses off when I'm out because

1075
01:00:05.200 --> 01:00:12.560
I can't see. So that really helps. Um, but, uh, but yeah, you know, just bake, bake, you just bake

1076
01:00:12.560 --> 01:00:19.680
it. And, um, are you needing to wear glasses to read? Yes. Yep. So you're going to be taking those

1077
01:00:19.680 --> 01:00:24.480
on and off and on and off and on and off. There's a lot of cute reading glasses. There's this one

1078
01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:31.600
brand that I get, I get ads for it all the time. It's like stylish reading glasses for,

1079
01:00:31.600 --> 01:00:36.880
you know, metropolitan women who don't want to look like they have readers on just Google that

1080
01:00:36.880 --> 01:00:40.800
just Google like stylish readers for women who don't want to look like they have readers on.

1081
01:00:40.800 --> 01:00:48.400
And I think that that brand will pop up papers, papers, papers. Cool. That could be another one.

1082
01:00:48.400 --> 01:00:52.480
I'm pretty sure that's not the one that I'm thinking of, but I'm sure there's tons of them.

1083
01:00:52.480 --> 01:01:02.720
So check them all out. All right. You guys, readers are a real thing. We get to an age,

1084
01:01:02.720 --> 01:01:06.240
you know, I had an eye doctor say that pretty much for your 40th birthday,

1085
01:01:06.240 --> 01:01:11.520
they hand you a prescription for readers because like, that's when you start needing readers.

1086
01:01:11.520 --> 01:01:17.840
And I'm happy to say, and do not get jealous of me, but I will never need readers because even

1087
01:01:17.840 --> 01:01:22.320
though I'm 51, because I have a type of nearsightedness that makes me be able to see

1088
01:01:22.960 --> 01:01:32.320
up close and read very easily. So don't hate me because you ain't me. All right. Now, seriously

1089
01:01:32.320 --> 01:01:38.240
though, I'm not good, but, but your bro, your boy, David, this is how he's reading things.

1090
01:01:41.520 --> 01:01:45.520
But my really true problem is, is that I can't read up close with my glasses on because they're

1091
01:01:45.520 --> 01:01:52.080
for distance. So I take them off all the time so that I can just read and then I lose them.

1092
01:01:52.080 --> 01:01:56.640
So if you want to pity me for something, pity me that I never know where my glasses are,

1093
01:01:56.640 --> 01:02:00.720
because I can see up close without them. And so I lose them all the time.

1094
01:02:01.360 --> 01:02:05.280
All right. Who else wants to say something fun? I have a question.

1095
01:02:06.080 --> 01:02:11.760
About Nicole, is any, is anybody having this issue with mature here, air,

1096
01:02:13.440 --> 01:02:20.800
mature hair? OMG. I am going out of my mind. Okay. Like hair loss. Like, tell us. No, it's,

1097
01:02:20.800 --> 01:02:30.240
it feels like horse hair. It's all of a sudden, no matter what shampoo I use, it's, it's course,

1098
01:02:30.240 --> 01:02:37.680
it's, it's course. It's horrible. Yeah. Mature hair that's turning course. Is it gray hair?

1099
01:02:39.120 --> 01:02:46.560
No. So I am gray at the top, but this was like, this is my long hair, like not my roots, my lens.

1100
01:02:47.600 --> 01:02:52.960
And, but the light. Okay. So, so hormones, right. Is what we're probably thinking is happening

1101
01:02:52.960 --> 01:02:56.960
because it's not the hair that's growing out of your head. We understand if that's getting course,

1102
01:02:56.960 --> 01:03:00.720
but you're saying the hair that's been, you know, this hair has been around for years.

1103
01:03:00.720 --> 01:03:08.240
Right. And all of a sudden I've had, I literally, it's about a month. I've had a good portion

1104
01:03:08.800 --> 01:03:15.680
cut off and it still feels course. Interesting. Anybody else, anyone else? I mean, because

1105
01:03:15.680 --> 01:03:20.480
remember this is old hair. This is old hair that she's talking about. That's all of a sudden course

1106
01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:24.080
and dry. So you haven't made any changes. You didn't move. You don't have different water.

1107
01:03:25.040 --> 01:03:31.040
No, you're not using different products. The only thing I did switch to, and I noticed that

1108
01:03:31.040 --> 01:03:36.320
it's a little softer. I don't know if any of you use the bar soaps, the bar shampoos.

1109
01:03:37.920 --> 01:03:46.960
On your hair? Yeah, there are bars. There's a couple of companies out. And it's they're,

1110
01:03:46.960 --> 01:03:53.200
they look like bars of soap, but they're for shampoo that makes it, I think it has coconut

1111
01:03:53.760 --> 01:03:59.360
water in it, rice water and like whatever. Do you ever do any masks on your hair? Like any kind of

1112
01:03:59.360 --> 01:04:04.400
masks? You might want to try doing one of those. You might want to try to go in the salon and just

1113
01:04:04.400 --> 01:04:10.800
have them do a mask on your hair. You can also buy those at places like Sally's and different places

1114
01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:17.200
like that. There's also a product by Red King called So Soft. It's it's just a shampoo and

1115
01:04:17.200 --> 01:04:23.760
conditioner, but it's either called very soft or so soft. And it it does make your hair really soft.

1116
01:04:24.560 --> 01:04:28.960
If you have thicker hair, you probably going to need something that has some thicker oils in it

1117
01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:34.080
in order to moisturize. But it just sounds like your hair is losing moisture for some reason.

1118
01:04:34.080 --> 01:04:39.280
And so you're going to have to put the moisture back in. And so drink a lot of water. And I've

1119
01:04:39.280 --> 01:04:45.520
been like my for you. That's all that's popping up is mature hair. I'm like, like, what is this?

1120
01:04:45.600 --> 01:04:52.160
I've never heard it in all my life. Well, you clicked on something. And and people are people

1121
01:04:52.160 --> 01:04:56.160
are giving you the advice of vitamins and supplements. I can heal your hair from the

1122
01:04:56.160 --> 01:04:59.840
inside out. People are saying try soaking it try sleeping in a silk cap.

1123
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.960
All Soft by Redken is the product that I'm talking about,

1124
01:05:03.960 --> 01:05:05.840
professional treatment of K18.

1125
01:05:05.840 --> 01:05:08.840
And I know you can get K18 at Ulta,

1126
01:05:08.840 --> 01:05:10.720
you can get it at Sephora.

1127
01:05:12.200 --> 01:05:14.320
I do, I use K18 products.

1128
01:05:16.600 --> 01:05:17.440
Yeah.

1129
01:05:17.440 --> 01:05:20.380
If you guys have a favorite mask that makes your hair soft,

1130
01:05:20.380 --> 01:05:23.040
put it in the chat so that Nicole can see it.

1131
01:05:23.040 --> 01:05:25.800
This is, this is exactly women helping women.

1132
01:05:25.800 --> 01:05:26.620
Let's go.

1133
01:05:26.620 --> 01:05:27.460
Thank you ladies.

1134
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:35.000
I had a question.

1135
01:05:38.300 --> 01:05:42.060
So my question is about confidence

1136
01:05:42.060 --> 01:05:44.140
when it comes to our bodies.

1137
01:05:44.140 --> 01:05:47.140
I've lost about 80 pounds.

1138
01:05:47.140 --> 01:05:49.560
I have a goal of losing about 50 to 60 more.

1139
01:05:50.620 --> 01:05:52.780
And I feel like my body-

1140
01:05:52.780 --> 01:05:55.260
First of all, congratulations.

1141
01:05:55.260 --> 01:05:56.300
That's amazing.

1142
01:05:56.300 --> 01:05:58.560
Everyone's giving you an applause.

1143
01:05:58.560 --> 01:06:00.080
But I mean, in true transparency,

1144
01:06:00.080 --> 01:06:03.520
I had a gastric sleeve surgery a couple of years ago.

1145
01:06:04.360 --> 01:06:06.600
For me, it was a great decision,

1146
01:06:06.600 --> 01:06:09.140
but I'm struggling a lot because when I,

1147
01:06:09.140 --> 01:06:09.980
I went through kind of,

1148
01:06:09.980 --> 01:06:10.840
I grew up in the church,

1149
01:06:10.840 --> 01:06:12.800
went through kind of rebellious period.

1150
01:06:12.800 --> 01:06:15.300
And when I was in my thirties,

1151
01:06:15.300 --> 01:06:16.880
I was one of those girls I know you talked about before

1152
01:06:16.880 --> 01:06:18.280
that kind of got bitter.

1153
01:06:18.280 --> 01:06:21.400
Like here I am in my thirties, still single, whatever.

1154
01:06:21.400 --> 01:06:24.440
I've obeyed all the rules and thank God,

1155
01:06:24.440 --> 01:06:26.060
by the grace of God, it was short-lived.

1156
01:06:26.060 --> 01:06:27.980
But the guys that were interested in me were interested

1157
01:06:27.980 --> 01:06:31.020
because I had very large breasts, which I still do.

1158
01:06:31.020 --> 01:06:32.500
But I kind of feel like my body's turned

1159
01:06:32.500 --> 01:06:34.540
into a melted ice cream cone.

1160
01:06:34.540 --> 01:06:39.100
And I know that eventually I'll have skin removal surgery,

1161
01:06:40.140 --> 01:06:41.540
but I keep thinking in my mind,

1162
01:06:41.540 --> 01:06:43.820
like I need to have that before I get married.

1163
01:06:45.100 --> 01:06:47.300
And I'm still probably at least,

1164
01:06:47.300 --> 01:06:49.380
six, seven months out with the rate that I'm losing weight

1165
01:06:49.380 --> 01:06:51.500
that before I can get that done.

1166
01:06:51.500 --> 01:06:53.300
So how, and my friends will say this,

1167
01:06:53.300 --> 01:06:54.760
even when I was younger, they would always say like,

1168
01:06:54.760 --> 01:06:56.740
I keep waiting for like this magic moment,

1169
01:06:56.740 --> 01:06:59.700
like a perfection to really put myself out there.

1170
01:06:59.700 --> 01:07:01.500
And how do I let go of that?

1171
01:07:01.500 --> 01:07:02.740
Like, do you have any advice?

1172
01:07:02.740 --> 01:07:05.500
First of all, the person that's gonna be in love with you

1173
01:07:05.500 --> 01:07:08.940
is gonna be in love with you, right?

1174
01:07:08.940 --> 01:07:11.460
And the person that's gonna be in love with you

1175
01:07:11.460 --> 01:07:13.940
is gonna be in love with the fact that you are trying

1176
01:07:13.940 --> 01:07:16.220
to become the best version of yourself,

1177
01:07:16.220 --> 01:07:20.660
that you're working on yourself, that you're in process.

1178
01:07:20.660 --> 01:07:22.860
And so, because you're a believer

1179
01:07:22.860 --> 01:07:24.340
and you don't believe in premarital sex,

1180
01:07:24.340 --> 01:07:26.780
this person's not gonna be seeing your body before marriage

1181
01:07:26.780 --> 01:07:29.100
as far as, you know, naked.

1182
01:07:29.100 --> 01:07:32.260
And I think that, you know, letting someone know

1183
01:07:32.260 --> 01:07:34.780
as you're getting to know them and you're attracted to them

1184
01:07:34.780 --> 01:07:37.460
and they're attracted to you, that, you know,

1185
01:07:37.460 --> 01:07:39.580
it's part of your story, that you've lost 80 pounds,

1186
01:07:39.580 --> 01:07:40.540
that you're losing more.

1187
01:07:40.540 --> 01:07:41.940
I'm sure they're gonna be really impressed

1188
01:07:41.940 --> 01:07:43.260
and just amazed at that.

1189
01:07:43.260 --> 01:07:45.020
We've had men in our program

1190
01:07:45.020 --> 01:07:47.660
that have lost huge amounts of weight like that.

1191
01:07:47.660 --> 01:07:51.380
And it's a real thing for people who have lost

1192
01:07:51.380 --> 01:07:54.500
a lot of weight to have to have skin removal surgery.

1193
01:07:54.500 --> 01:07:56.580
And, you know, the person that you meet

1194
01:07:56.580 --> 01:07:58.420
is gonna be very supportive of that,

1195
01:07:58.420 --> 01:08:00.380
very excited for you even.

1196
01:08:00.380 --> 01:08:02.620
And so you need to keep that in mind.

1197
01:08:02.620 --> 01:08:05.100
And you also might think about,

1198
01:08:05.100 --> 01:08:07.700
you guys, this is like a community situation, right?

1199
01:08:07.700 --> 01:08:10.500
So you might also might think about really dating someone

1200
01:08:10.500 --> 01:08:12.980
who's also experienced that as well

1201
01:08:12.980 --> 01:08:15.940
and kind of can empathize or understands that.

1202
01:08:15.940 --> 01:08:17.340
Because I know that a lot of people

1203
01:08:17.340 --> 01:08:19.899
that have lost a lot of weight are like in communities

1204
01:08:19.899 --> 01:08:22.420
of people that are supporting each other through this stuff.

1205
01:08:22.420 --> 01:08:24.060
And that may be a place where, you know,

1206
01:08:24.060 --> 01:08:25.819
you meet your future spouse.

1207
01:08:25.819 --> 01:08:29.620
So even meeting someone that actually really understands

1208
01:08:29.620 --> 01:08:31.340
the process that you've been in,

1209
01:08:31.340 --> 01:08:33.620
I think would be really cool too.

1210
01:08:33.620 --> 01:08:36.420
Yeah, for sure.

1211
01:08:36.420 --> 01:08:37.260
Thank you.

1212
01:08:37.260 --> 01:08:39.020
We have a really hot guy

1213
01:08:39.020 --> 01:08:41.819
that wanted me to match make him really good looking,

1214
01:08:41.819 --> 01:08:42.859
you know, really buff.

1215
01:08:42.859 --> 01:08:46.899
And I was amazed to find out that he'd lost like 150 pounds.

1216
01:08:46.899 --> 01:08:49.140
And he of course had already had

1217
01:08:49.140 --> 01:08:50.300
the skin removal surgery,

1218
01:08:50.300 --> 01:08:53.620
but you know, he had had to go through that entire process.

1219
01:08:53.620 --> 01:08:57.060
And then on the other side, he was, I mean,

1220
01:08:58.300 --> 01:09:00.540
you never would have known that about him,

1221
01:09:00.540 --> 01:09:04.100
but he shares that story proudly.

1222
01:09:05.020 --> 01:09:07.180
And I don't want to make lie of what,

1223
01:09:07.180 --> 01:09:09.140
you know, the women are talking about like mammograms earlier

1224
01:09:09.140 --> 01:09:11.700
and I'll be praying for the ladies who,

1225
01:09:11.700 --> 01:09:15.100
you know, are going through that issue.

1226
01:09:15.100 --> 01:09:17.580
But like my mammograms are like the easiest thing

1227
01:09:17.580 --> 01:09:18.580
in the world.

1228
01:09:18.580 --> 01:09:21.380
Like my breasts are just so floppy that I'm just like,

1229
01:09:21.380 --> 01:09:23.260
yeah, you know, flop it on the machine.

1230
01:09:23.260 --> 01:09:24.859
I'm good to go.

1231
01:09:24.859 --> 01:09:26.300
You're just saying that there's fat.

1232
01:09:26.300 --> 01:09:27.939
You don't have hardly any tissue.

1233
01:09:27.939 --> 01:09:29.540
No, I have a, I still, and I think that's great.

1234
01:09:29.540 --> 01:09:34.540
So at my highest weight, I was a 42 G cup.

1235
01:09:35.060 --> 01:09:35.899
Well,

1236
01:09:35.899 --> 01:09:38.420
I'm a 42, I'm sorry.

1237
01:09:38.420 --> 01:09:41.340
No, I'm a 38 triple D right now.

1238
01:09:42.260 --> 01:09:44.340
So, I mean, they're still very voluminous.

1239
01:09:44.380 --> 01:09:49.060
They're just not, you know, they're not as.

1240
01:09:49.060 --> 01:09:50.140
They're not dense.

1241
01:09:50.140 --> 01:09:51.580
Yeah, they're not very dense.

1242
01:09:51.580 --> 01:09:52.420
Yeah.

1243
01:09:52.420 --> 01:09:54.540
And even my mom, I have a wonderful mom,

1244
01:09:54.540 --> 01:09:56.100
but we went bra shopping one day

1245
01:09:56.100 --> 01:09:59.140
and it was so interesting because she's like, you know,

1246
01:09:59.140 --> 01:10:00.340
I don't realize how much.

1247
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.160
but you've lost until, you know, she's seen me without a shirt on and she's like, I'll

1248
01:10:03.160 --> 01:10:07.240
pay for your, your, um, your breast lift, which is really nice.

1249
01:10:07.240 --> 01:10:08.240
At the same time.

1250
01:10:08.240 --> 01:10:12.400
I was like, if my mom actually made a comment about my boots, like they're bad, you know,

1251
01:10:12.400 --> 01:10:17.260
and I guess again, it was just, um, back when I was heavy, that was the only thing guys

1252
01:10:17.260 --> 01:10:20.240
were attracted to or my big boobs.

1253
01:10:20.240 --> 01:10:21.240
Good news.

1254
01:10:21.240 --> 01:10:22.240
Good news.

1255
01:10:22.240 --> 01:10:23.840
You don't want to track that kind of man anyway.

1256
01:10:23.840 --> 01:10:24.840
I know.

1257
01:10:24.840 --> 01:10:25.840
I agree.

1258
01:10:25.840 --> 01:10:29.240
And just so you know, you don't have to go through weight loss to have saggy boobs.

1259
01:10:29.240 --> 01:10:31.360
It's called gravity, baby.

1260
01:10:31.360 --> 01:10:35.800
And you know, I mean, most of the ladies in here would raise their hands and say, yeah,

1261
01:10:35.800 --> 01:10:40.160
my boobs aren't looking like they used to look when I was younger.

1262
01:10:40.160 --> 01:10:47.280
Um, you know, trying to roll them up and stick them in the bra, you know, or got me them.

1263
01:10:47.280 --> 01:10:48.280
Yeah.

1264
01:10:48.280 --> 01:10:50.800
Try to figure out, try to figure out how to do that.

1265
01:10:50.800 --> 01:10:53.280
I call it pancake batter in a sock.

1266
01:10:53.280 --> 01:10:55.440
And sometimes that's just the way it is.

1267
01:10:55.440 --> 01:11:00.780
And look, if you guys are not afraid of surgery and you're okay with an elective surgery for

1268
01:11:00.780 --> 01:11:04.920
something cosmetic and it's important to you to get a breast lift or whatever, then I say

1269
01:11:04.920 --> 01:11:05.920
go for it.

1270
01:11:05.920 --> 01:11:10.000
You know, I'm not opposed to people doing something that really, really makes them feel

1271
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:11.000
good about themselves.

1272
01:11:11.000 --> 01:11:12.920
Um, I'm not opposed to that.

1273
01:11:12.920 --> 01:11:14.520
I would never judge that.

1274
01:11:14.520 --> 01:11:17.960
So for those of you that have been thinking about, we had a lady who really needed to

1275
01:11:17.960 --> 01:11:19.560
get her bladder lifted.

1276
01:11:19.560 --> 01:11:20.880
Some people get their breasts lifted.

1277
01:11:20.880 --> 01:11:22.400
This lady needed to get her bladder lifted.

1278
01:11:22.400 --> 01:11:28.920
She had had, you know, several big children, like, you know, um, large, large babies and

1279
01:11:28.920 --> 01:11:31.840
her bladder had dropped in her forties.

1280
01:11:31.840 --> 01:11:36.120
It had dropped and she needed to get it like with mesh or something like pulled back up

1281
01:11:36.120 --> 01:11:40.720
and put back in place, pelvic floor dysfunction kind of stuff.

1282
01:11:40.720 --> 01:11:46.160
And we had a talk like this, a group like women's kind of talk.

1283
01:11:46.160 --> 01:11:49.720
And God just really spoke to her and said, Hey, it's time to do that.

1284
01:11:49.720 --> 01:11:51.160
It's time to go do that.

1285
01:11:51.160 --> 01:11:52.880
Stop putting that off.

1286
01:11:52.880 --> 01:11:54.220
You need to go do that.

1287
01:11:54.220 --> 01:11:58.440
And she did it and she was so much happier.

1288
01:11:58.440 --> 01:12:00.760
And then if I'm not mistaken, she got married.

1289
01:12:00.760 --> 01:12:07.840
So, so listen, ladies, let's talk about that for a second.

1290
01:12:07.840 --> 01:12:12.920
How many of you are in the late stages of perimenopause or menopause and you know that

1291
01:12:12.920 --> 01:12:17.920
because you're starting to have vaginal dryness, you're starting to have, you know, maybe a

1292
01:12:17.920 --> 01:12:20.040
little bit, feel a little hot.

1293
01:12:20.040 --> 01:12:24.840
Sometimes maybe having some dry skin or you're, you feel like your skin is aging fast.

1294
01:12:24.840 --> 01:12:26.640
Our sister who said her hair is getting dry.

1295
01:12:26.640 --> 01:12:28.640
That could be very much hormonal.

1296
01:12:28.640 --> 01:12:33.520
Raise your hand if you're in, you know, mid to late perimenopause or you've already crossed

1297
01:12:33.520 --> 01:12:34.520
over to menopause.

1298
01:12:34.520 --> 01:12:37.160
You no longer have periods.

1299
01:12:37.160 --> 01:12:42.320
Maybe you have your regular period still, but you know, you're just, things are not

1300
01:12:42.320 --> 01:12:44.340
the way they used to be hormonally.

1301
01:12:44.340 --> 01:12:49.660
You can feel that your hormones are changing yada, yada, shish, boom, bada.

1302
01:12:49.660 --> 01:12:54.420
You guys know, I don't have to list off all the things you guys know what I'm talking

1303
01:12:54.420 --> 01:12:55.420
about.

1304
01:12:55.420 --> 01:12:56.420
Keep the hands coming up.

1305
01:12:56.420 --> 01:12:57.420
Come on.

1306
01:12:57.420 --> 01:12:58.420
Keep the hands coming up.

1307
01:12:58.420 --> 01:13:00.860
And raise your hands.

1308
01:13:00.860 --> 01:13:01.860
Okay.

1309
01:13:01.860 --> 01:13:07.300
Only 30, 41, 42, 43, 44.

1310
01:13:07.300 --> 01:13:12.420
So about half-ish of the ladies in here are in perimenopause kind of towards the end of

1311
01:13:12.420 --> 01:13:15.100
it or they're in menopause.

1312
01:13:15.100 --> 01:13:26.300
All right, ladies, get yourself some vaginal estrad, estriol, estriol, it's a form, there's

1313
01:13:26.300 --> 01:13:28.300
three different forms of estrogen.

1314
01:13:28.300 --> 01:13:29.300
Okay.

1315
01:13:29.300 --> 01:13:32.900
Estriol is the form of estrogen that they would give you in a face cream to put on your

1316
01:13:32.900 --> 01:13:33.900
face.

1317
01:13:33.900 --> 01:13:36.260
I highly recommend this you friends.

1318
01:13:36.260 --> 01:13:39.180
Now you might be scared like, Oh, I don't want to get estrogen dominant.

1319
01:13:39.180 --> 01:13:40.860
I want to put too much estrogen in my system.

1320
01:13:40.860 --> 01:13:46.220
First of all, it's not systemic topical estrogen because the molecule is too big to break the

1321
01:13:46.220 --> 01:13:47.620
blood brain barrier.

1322
01:13:47.620 --> 01:13:50.660
It is only going to treat what it's touching.

1323
01:13:50.660 --> 01:13:51.660
Okay.

1324
01:13:51.660 --> 01:13:55.220
So get yourself some alloy, the company alloy.

1325
01:13:55.220 --> 01:13:59.700
I might even have a code because they gave me a code to share with people for a discount.

1326
01:13:59.700 --> 01:14:06.700
I use that M4 estriol face cream, huge difference in the plumpness of your skin, your skin.

1327
01:14:06.700 --> 01:14:15.140
So hydrated starts to fill in little wrinkles because remember we're aging because our hormones

1328
01:14:15.140 --> 01:14:16.140
and sun damage.

1329
01:14:16.140 --> 01:14:17.140
So stay out of the sun.

1330
01:14:17.140 --> 01:14:21.540
Put on some, put on a hat, put on some sunscreen, but also they have that estriol higher.

1331
01:14:21.540 --> 01:14:22.540
Okay.

1332
01:14:22.540 --> 01:14:24.420
I'm just going to tell you something.

1333
01:14:24.420 --> 01:14:30.900
I ran out of that face cream so I took the vaginal estriol and I put it on my face.

1334
01:14:30.900 --> 01:14:39.740
My husband is over there and goes, what?

1335
01:14:39.740 --> 01:14:45.820
I took the Vajayjay cream and I put it on my face because it's just a little stronger

1336
01:14:45.820 --> 01:14:49.060
than the face one and it's made out of the same thing as I figured, you know, what could

1337
01:14:49.060 --> 01:14:50.060
it hurt?

1338
01:14:50.060 --> 01:14:51.060
Um, it didn't hurt anything.

1339
01:14:51.060 --> 01:14:52.060
Let me tell you what.

1340
01:14:52.060 --> 01:14:53.060
All right.

1341
01:14:53.060 --> 01:14:55.540
Anyway, when people are like, Jackie, you look so young.

1342
01:14:55.540 --> 01:14:58.540
Well this might be the reason why I'm using the Vajayjay cream on my face.

1343
01:14:58.540 --> 01:14:59.540
All right.

1344
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.640
up inside of your vagina. And what it does, once again, it doesn't get in your bloodstream. It

1345
01:15:04.640 --> 01:15:09.600
doesn't a little 11 doesn't live in the whole lump in this case, it's going to get in there.

1346
01:15:09.600 --> 01:15:13.840
And what it's going to do is it's going to start to rejuvenate the tissues. The tissues in your

1347
01:15:13.840 --> 01:15:21.280
vagina are very, very sensitive. They're very, they have lots of little estrogen receptors. Okay.

1348
01:15:21.840 --> 01:15:28.080
And what happens as our hormones start to decline is the vaginal tissue gets thin

1349
01:15:29.040 --> 01:15:36.320
and dry. Okay. So even using like some lube when you're having sex in the future, imagine yourself

1350
01:15:36.320 --> 01:15:43.840
having sex in the future. Um, that isn't going to be enough. Okay. Because it's thin. The skin

1351
01:15:43.840 --> 01:15:48.320
is thin in there now, and you don't obviously want to tear or have anything like that happen.

1352
01:15:48.320 --> 01:15:54.720
So it's not expensive friends. Get yourself some vaginal estrogen. A little bit goes a long way.

1353
01:15:54.720 --> 01:15:58.640
It's like a pea size amount that you put in there. I do want to warn you about some things

1354
01:15:58.640 --> 01:16:02.800
that they didn't tell me when you first start using it. And if you're having bladder issues,

1355
01:16:02.800 --> 01:16:06.800
it's going to clear that up. If you're having incontinence, why is it going to have incontinence?

1356
01:16:06.800 --> 01:16:11.360
It's because it's going to strengthen everything in there. All of the, all the tissues are going

1357
01:16:11.360 --> 01:16:15.680
to be strengthened. The reason why you're leaking when you laugh is because the stuff in there

1358
01:16:15.680 --> 01:16:21.200
is weak. Okay. So it strengthens them. It strengthens the tissues in there. Of course,

1359
01:16:21.200 --> 01:16:25.920
you might need to do some pelvic floor kind of exercises, some Kegels, but be careful with

1360
01:16:25.920 --> 01:16:34.160
Kegels, especially if you have, um, tailbone pain. If you have, uh, sciatica, you think it's

1361
01:16:34.160 --> 01:16:39.200
sciatica. Some of you have interstitial cystitis, which is irritable bladder. I would love to see

1362
01:16:39.200 --> 01:16:43.280
how many people have that. Put your hands down. Um, this will help with all of that.

1363
01:16:44.160 --> 01:16:47.840
This will help with irritable bladder syndrome. You have to go all the time. You only a little

1364
01:16:47.840 --> 01:16:53.520
bit of pee comes out. This will happen. This will help with that. All of that is hormonally caused.

1365
01:16:54.240 --> 01:17:00.320
Okay. And you put a little pea size amount. You put it like a week or two week or two every day

1366
01:17:00.320 --> 01:17:05.280
and then maintenance. And then just maybe once or twice a week. Um, but I will tell you, this is

1367
01:17:05.280 --> 01:17:08.640
what you're going to feel when you first start doing that. You're going to feel kind of engorged

1368
01:17:08.640 --> 01:17:14.000
in your vagina in the way that it just feels like there's something in there. Like you have a tampon

1369
01:17:14.000 --> 01:17:18.960
in there or something. It's just going to feel weird and full and that's uncomfortable, but that

1370
01:17:18.960 --> 01:17:26.240
uncomfortable feeling literally only lasts a couple hours after you put, you know, put the cream in

1371
01:17:26.240 --> 01:17:32.000
there and then it just goes away. But as soon as it happens and it's happening, I was like,

1372
01:17:32.000 --> 01:17:36.800
I was asking the internet, why do I feel this way? What's happening? So I just want to let you know

1373
01:17:36.800 --> 01:17:40.320
that that is something that some people feel. All right.

1374
01:17:42.720 --> 01:17:46.640
And you can put it on your face if you want. Cause I do.

1375
01:17:50.080 --> 01:17:52.800
So if my face looks like a vagina now, you know why?

1376
01:17:57.120 --> 01:18:02.960
But seriously. Uh, okay. All right. Anyone else have any other questions? We have nine minutes.

1377
01:18:03.280 --> 01:18:11.920
Okay. I have a question. You got, um, you mentioned vaginal, the vaginal estrogen.

1378
01:18:12.800 --> 01:18:22.400
Uh, so would you take that on top of HRT or instead? It has nothing to do with it. Okay.

1379
01:18:22.400 --> 01:18:26.640
Okay. Cause it's not systemic. So it's only going to work on the tissues in the vagina. It's not

1380
01:18:26.640 --> 01:18:31.680
going to get into your bloodstream and cause your overall estrogen level to go up. Now when you do

1381
01:18:31.680 --> 01:18:37.120
HRT, cause I have a patch on right now, ladies show you my patch and show you my patch. Find it

1382
01:18:37.120 --> 01:18:44.560
here. All right. Where are right here? Um, let's see if I can hop up. Can I see it? Nope. It's

1383
01:18:44.560 --> 01:18:49.120
right there. It's on my belly. It's on my fat belly. Okay. So I have a patch there and I change

1384
01:18:49.120 --> 01:18:55.680
it twice a week. It's estrogen and it's estrogen. It's not estrogen. It's not estriol, estriol.

1385
01:18:55.680 --> 01:19:02.200
It's not estriol. Okay. It's estrogen. It's a, it's a different form of estrogen. Um, and, um,

1386
01:19:03.920 --> 01:19:09.280
it has a name and I'm trying to think of what it is right now, but anyway, I'm on 0.75 of that.

1387
01:19:09.280 --> 01:19:14.080
And then I take 200 milligrams of progesterone at night orally. Now some women can't take it

1388
01:19:14.080 --> 01:19:18.640
orally because of the metabolites that happen. Meaning that when you take something orally,

1389
01:19:18.640 --> 01:19:23.440
your liver has to break it down. And some people's livers make the metabolites

1390
01:19:24.400 --> 01:19:27.840
of the progesterone and it gives them weird side effects. And that's,

1391
01:19:27.840 --> 01:19:32.080
that's a very small percentage of women. But if you're one of those women, you can take

1392
01:19:32.080 --> 01:19:38.160
vaginal progesterone. You can put a suppository of progesterone into your vagina. It gets to the

1393
01:19:38.160 --> 01:19:44.720
uterus. It protects the uterus. It does its job, but you are not feeling the metabolite effect

1394
01:19:44.720 --> 01:19:49.520
of oral progesterone. I don't have any problem with oral progesterone. So I take it. I take

1395
01:19:49.600 --> 01:19:54.880
that at nighttime. I take some magnesium at nighttime. My symptoms in menopause were hot

1396
01:19:54.880 --> 01:19:59.840
flashes, aching joints. I had such creaky joints y'all.

1397
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.560
I felt like I was a hundred, a hundred thousand years old.

1398
01:20:03.560 --> 01:20:04.400
Okay.

1399
01:20:04.400 --> 01:20:06.240
When I went into menopause at 50 years old

1400
01:20:06.240 --> 01:20:08.240
and I was having dry skin,

1401
01:20:08.240 --> 01:20:11.040
I noticed that I was like aging faster than normal.

1402
01:20:11.040 --> 01:20:12.760
Like my skin was getting wrinklier,

1403
01:20:12.760 --> 01:20:14.420
like just out of nowhere.

1404
01:20:15.480 --> 01:20:19.760
I was having vaginal dryness.

1405
01:20:19.760 --> 01:20:22.840
I was having low libido.

1406
01:20:22.840 --> 01:20:23.840
Let's see what else?

1407
01:20:25.160 --> 01:20:27.720
Hot flashes, heart palpitations.

1408
01:20:27.720 --> 01:20:29.720
So having heart palpitations,

1409
01:20:32.400 --> 01:20:35.600
weight gain, especially in the belly, in the middle.

1410
01:20:35.600 --> 01:20:38.140
So those are all the things you guys that I had.

1411
01:20:38.140 --> 01:20:40.120
I had some crazy symptoms

1412
01:20:40.120 --> 01:20:43.400
and I went on 0.5 of the estrogen patch

1413
01:20:43.400 --> 01:20:45.240
and 100 milligrams of progesterone

1414
01:20:45.240 --> 01:20:47.240
and that worked for about a year.

1415
01:20:47.240 --> 01:20:48.440
And then I noticed that I was getting

1416
01:20:48.440 --> 01:20:50.420
increasing heart palpitations.

1417
01:20:50.420 --> 01:20:52.280
And so they had to take me up higher

1418
01:20:52.280 --> 01:20:54.960
and I was waking up like every other hour

1419
01:20:54.960 --> 01:20:56.520
or something at nighttime.

1420
01:20:56.520 --> 01:20:59.240
So you guys, please don't be afraid of HRT.

1421
01:20:59.240 --> 01:21:00.480
They've done studies.

1422
01:21:00.480 --> 01:21:04.440
The FDA was just forced to tell everyone that it was safe.

1423
01:21:06.400 --> 01:21:10.000
But even before that, there were so many studies,

1424
01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:14.120
so many studies showing that not only is this safe,

1425
01:21:14.120 --> 01:21:16.040
but it actually protects your heart

1426
01:21:16.040 --> 01:21:18.240
and your bone health and your brain health.

1427
01:21:18.240 --> 01:21:19.640
And it's very good for you.

1428
01:21:19.640 --> 01:21:22.480
And I have read the books, Why Estrogen Matters.

1429
01:21:22.480 --> 01:21:24.120
I have read The New Menopause.

1430
01:21:24.120 --> 01:21:29.120
I have read, there's another book on menopause,

1431
01:21:29.520 --> 01:21:31.360
all the leading experts and doctors.

1432
01:21:31.360 --> 01:21:33.360
I've listened to the podcasts

1433
01:21:33.360 --> 01:21:38.360
and I really think that if you need to look into it,

1434
01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:41.780
please let this be your signal to do that.

1435
01:21:42.600 --> 01:21:44.560
I just wanna add, then I had put it in the chat

1436
01:21:44.560 --> 01:21:48.720
that after listening to the session you had done on that,

1437
01:21:48.720 --> 01:21:51.200
it's when I started looking into it,

1438
01:21:51.200 --> 01:21:53.240
I had refused to before

1439
01:21:53.240 --> 01:21:57.160
and it's made a world of difference for me,

1440
01:21:57.160 --> 01:21:58.160
a world of difference.

1441
01:21:58.160 --> 01:21:59.000
So thank you.

1442
01:21:59.000 --> 01:22:00.600
Oh, I'm so glad.

1443
01:22:00.600 --> 01:22:04.120
You guys, I held off on it because my mom passed away,

1444
01:22:04.120 --> 01:22:06.040
not of genetic breast cancer,

1445
01:22:06.040 --> 01:22:08.440
but of hormonally driven breast cancer.

1446
01:22:08.440 --> 01:22:10.960
And so the book, Why Estrogen Matters

1447
01:22:10.960 --> 01:22:12.720
was really important for me to read.

1448
01:22:12.720 --> 01:22:15.280
The doctors that wrote that book, they're research doctors.

1449
01:22:15.280 --> 01:22:18.720
And one of them, his wife had had breast cancer herself.

1450
01:22:18.720 --> 01:22:22.600
And so just really showing that it really isn't related,

1451
01:22:22.600 --> 01:22:24.280
it doesn't have anything to do with it.

1452
01:22:24.280 --> 01:22:26.800
And it was just really powerful.

1453
01:22:26.800 --> 01:22:29.240
Guys, I do wanna tell you a big,

1454
01:22:29.240 --> 01:22:31.800
since we have been talking about breast cancer,

1455
01:22:31.800 --> 01:22:32.920
I do wanna talk to you

1456
01:22:32.920 --> 01:22:34.840
about what that Cleveland Clinic physician,

1457
01:22:34.840 --> 01:22:37.860
that's one of the most renowned hospitals in the country,

1458
01:22:37.860 --> 01:22:39.560
maybe the world, what they said,

1459
01:22:39.560 --> 01:22:41.280
the Cleveland Clinic, that that surgeon,

1460
01:22:41.280 --> 01:22:43.600
that's all she does is these types of surgery.

1461
01:22:43.600 --> 01:22:45.560
She deals with these types of patients.

1462
01:22:45.560 --> 01:22:48.000
When I asked her if I needed to have that testing,

1463
01:22:48.000 --> 01:22:48.840
she said, no.

1464
01:22:48.840 --> 01:22:51.520
And I said, okay, well, how can I protect my daughter

1465
01:22:51.520 --> 01:22:55.200
and myself going forward with this type of situation

1466
01:22:55.200 --> 01:22:56.800
that my mom is dealing with?

1467
01:22:56.800 --> 01:22:58.680
And she said, the number one,

1468
01:22:59.700 --> 01:23:04.700
the number one risk factor of breast cancer is alcohol.

1469
01:23:06.500 --> 01:23:10.160
Ladies, that glass of wine every day at night to unwind,

1470
01:23:10.160 --> 01:23:12.800
it is not harmless, it is very damaging.

1471
01:23:12.800 --> 01:23:15.100
So I really wanna encourage you to give it up.

1472
01:23:16.100 --> 01:23:19.500
They do not tell us how damaging alcohol is.

1473
01:23:19.500 --> 01:23:20.580
And they make us feel like

1474
01:23:20.580 --> 01:23:22.140
it's actually protecting us somehow.

1475
01:23:22.140 --> 01:23:23.540
Oh, a glass of wine is good for you.

1476
01:23:23.540 --> 01:23:24.840
It is not good for you.

1477
01:23:25.940 --> 01:23:28.820
Now, if you wanna drink one every once in a while, okay,

1478
01:23:28.820 --> 01:23:30.800
but there are people that actually drink alcohol

1479
01:23:30.800 --> 01:23:31.840
every single day.

1480
01:23:32.940 --> 01:23:36.460
And I'm telling you what that doctor said to me,

1481
01:23:36.460 --> 01:23:38.580
and she obviously is not, you know,

1482
01:23:38.580 --> 01:23:41.140
trying to get people to stop drinking alcohol.

1483
01:23:42.140 --> 01:23:45.580
She is just telling the truth.

1484
01:23:45.580 --> 01:23:48.180
And there has been some, there's been some science,

1485
01:23:48.180 --> 01:23:50.420
there's been some people talking about it.

1486
01:23:52.100 --> 01:23:54.900
But, you know, obviously alcohol is a billion,

1487
01:23:54.900 --> 01:23:56.700
multi-billion dollar industry.

1488
01:23:58.420 --> 01:24:00.060
You know how long it took them to tell everyone

1489
01:24:00.060 --> 01:24:01.440
that cigarettes were bad?

1490
01:24:01.440 --> 01:24:04.140
Because it's a multi-billion dollar industry.

1491
01:24:04.140 --> 01:24:07.500
So it's the American way, drinking is the American way.

1492
01:24:07.500 --> 01:24:10.660
So please protect yourself if you are going to imbibe,

1493
01:24:11.180 --> 01:24:12.380
if you are going to drink alcohol,

1494
01:24:12.380 --> 01:24:14.020
please think about only drinking it

1495
01:24:14.020 --> 01:24:15.920
very, very, very seldomly.

1496
01:24:20.860 --> 01:24:23.860
My mom was unfortunately married to a functional alcoholic

1497
01:24:23.860 --> 01:24:24.700
when she passed away,

1498
01:24:24.700 --> 01:24:26.820
and she had been married to him for over 30 years.

1499
01:24:26.820 --> 01:24:28.860
So their entire lives surrounded alcohol.

1500
01:24:28.860 --> 01:24:31.220
And even though my mom didn't wanna be a big drinker,

1501
01:24:31.220 --> 01:24:32.720
if she was gonna hang out with her husband

1502
01:24:32.720 --> 01:24:34.140
or go do anything with him,

1503
01:24:34.140 --> 01:24:37.980
there was always gonna be alcohol involved, always.

1504
01:24:40.820 --> 01:24:43.260
And her closest friend in the world, a woman,

1505
01:24:43.260 --> 01:24:45.580
also was a functional alcoholic.

1506
01:24:45.580 --> 01:24:47.340
So my mom was just surrounded by alcoholics.

1507
01:24:47.340 --> 01:24:48.780
Her father was an alcoholic.

1508
01:24:48.780 --> 01:24:50.880
And even though she wasn't an alcoholic,

1509
01:24:50.880 --> 01:24:54.240
you know, when you're around good time alcoholics,

1510
01:24:54.240 --> 01:24:55.580
people that like to have fun,

1511
01:24:55.580 --> 01:24:57.740
and it always involves having drinks,

1512
01:24:57.740 --> 01:24:59.260
we're going to the beach, we're going to the golf course,

1513
01:24:59.260 --> 01:25:01.060
we're doing this, we're doing that.

1514
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.360
Matt, you know, we're going out to dinner, we're having a drink. Hey, why aren't you drinking?

1515
01:25:03.360 --> 01:25:07.440
You're not going to have a drink? What's wrong with you have a drink, you know, and I feel like

1516
01:25:07.440 --> 01:25:14.480
I feel like that is part of what happened there, honestly, and it's very, it's very, it's very hard.

1517
01:25:15.520 --> 01:25:21.520
It's very hard for a lot of people to turn down a drink, when their friend group are social

1518
01:25:21.520 --> 01:25:27.200
drinkers, or, you know, they live in a home with someone who wants to have wine or beer with dinner

1519
01:25:27.200 --> 01:25:31.600
after work, when you get home, just please be careful. And honestly, if you're going into

1520
01:25:31.600 --> 01:25:36.080
menopause, it's the worst thing for you, it's going to disrupt your sleep, it's going to cause

1521
01:25:36.080 --> 01:25:43.440
you to it's a it's a factor in osteoporosis as well, because it leaches, you know, minerals from

1522
01:25:43.440 --> 01:25:49.520
your bones, it just isn't good for you. Okay. I'm not going to become the anti alcohol person,

1523
01:25:49.520 --> 01:25:57.040
but I'm just going to let you know it's not. Okay. Got maybe time for one more one more comment or

1524
01:25:57.040 --> 01:26:05.760
question. Who's got something? I can keep that in mind, you guys keep that in mind when you're

1525
01:26:05.760 --> 01:26:11.040
dating people, if they have a lifestyle of, you know, social drinking, and like, that's what they

1526
01:26:11.040 --> 01:26:17.920
need to have a good time. Think about that. All right, keep going. Okay, Jackie, are you watching

1527
01:26:17.920 --> 01:26:23.840
that show age of attraction? I binged it because I've been on a lot of podcasts and the news and

1528
01:26:23.840 --> 01:26:29.360
stuff lately. So they asked me to comment on this stuff. In fact, I'm going to make a I'm going to

1529
01:26:29.360 --> 01:26:34.240
make some media tonight probably before I go to bed about the Bachelorette season that got canceled.

1530
01:26:34.960 --> 01:26:38.640
But yes, I did binge age of attraction. For those of you that don't know what it is.

1531
01:26:38.640 --> 01:26:43.840
It's an experiment. They put all these people like together in a like a social setting. And

1532
01:26:43.840 --> 01:26:47.280
they're supposed to pick someone to partner with. But they the only thing they're not

1533
01:26:47.280 --> 01:26:49.520
allowed to know about this person is how old they are.

1534
01:26:52.800 --> 01:26:57.520
So I binged it, because girlfriend's talking about it. I never watched those shows. But

1535
01:26:58.560 --> 01:27:03.920
did you see the scene with the girl and the guy and she was wanting to wait till marriage?

1536
01:27:03.920 --> 01:27:10.320
And absolutely. Because he was like, Well, what are we doing in the bedroom with our mouth if

1537
01:27:10.320 --> 01:27:15.280
we're not having sex? And it just really got me thinking I'm waiting for marriage. But I used to

1538
01:27:15.280 --> 01:27:19.760
have a lot of body issues. And so one of the ways I proved that I was like likable was I would hook

1539
01:27:19.760 --> 01:27:24.800
up with guys in other ways. Well, so I've been doing it different the last few years, of course.

1540
01:27:24.800 --> 01:27:30.720
And so I guess my question is, I get anxious because I do I am in a level three relationship.

1541
01:27:30.720 --> 01:27:36.960
He has been married before has kid all that. He's never waited before. It's a totally new concept

1542
01:27:36.960 --> 01:27:44.160
to him, but he respects my conviction. And so we're kind of in that same argument, I want to be

1543
01:27:44.160 --> 01:27:51.360
a little snugglier. And he's like, Well, but you're I don't get it. He's like, I thought you

1544
01:27:51.360 --> 01:27:58.480
were abstinent. Yeah, they were me of that guy on the show. Well, okay, so let's we got to fill

1545
01:27:58.480 --> 01:28:05.040
everybody else in. Okay. So this girl picks this man. And yes, he was aging. Well, but I guess I

1546
01:28:05.040 --> 01:28:10.640
guess that he was every bit of 60. I was given a thing. Yeah, absolutely. And so they get to reveal

1547
01:28:10.640 --> 01:28:14.000
their ages to each other kind of after they choose and they don't have to stay with the

1548
01:28:14.000 --> 01:28:18.320
person they like kind of make a promise, like a promise ring situation after they know each

1549
01:28:18.320 --> 01:28:26.640
other's ages. And he was 60, like 6260 6162, maybe 60. I don't remember. And she was 27. Y'all.

1550
01:28:26.640 --> 01:28:33.760
It's a 33 year age difference. Yeah. And she made it very clear before he promised ringed her

1551
01:28:34.320 --> 01:28:39.440
that she was and here's the thing. It's one thing if you're just abstinent and celibate,

1552
01:28:39.440 --> 01:28:46.080
but she used the God card. She said, I believe like, I promise God that I'm not going to I'm

1553
01:28:46.080 --> 01:28:51.120
going to, I'm going to change and I'm going to do things differently. And I'm not going to

1554
01:28:51.120 --> 01:28:56.000
have sex until I'm married. Is that okay with you? And he was like, all right. It's like,

1555
01:28:56.000 --> 01:29:00.240
I've never done that before. But yeah, you know, you're worth it kind of thing, whatever.

1556
01:29:00.240 --> 01:29:06.080
Now, when they go into their life together, like they start like being a couple outside of this,

1557
01:29:06.080 --> 01:29:11.360
you know, smaller space, just kind of like love is blind, except they've always seen each other.

1558
01:29:13.440 --> 01:29:18.160
The cameras are rolling, you can't see them. They're in their bedroom at this apartment that

1559
01:29:18.160 --> 01:29:23.920
they're sharing. But you hear him saying to her, you know, like, she's upset because he's obviously

1560
01:29:23.920 --> 01:29:29.360
taking it a little too far, as far as like, you know, like trying to take it to the next level

1561
01:29:29.360 --> 01:29:33.760
to probably intercourse. And she's like, I told you that I don't want to do that. And he said,

1562
01:29:33.760 --> 01:29:39.440
well, I'm confused. Because, you know, he's like, what do you call, you know, what do you call what

1563
01:29:39.440 --> 01:29:44.640
we just did? And she was like, oral sex. And he's like, well, that's sex. Like you're saying God,

1564
01:29:45.520 --> 01:29:49.600
but you're having sex. So you should have just said, I don't want to have intercourse until

1565
01:29:49.600 --> 01:29:53.680
I'm married. And he's absolutely right. Because please don't don't play the celibacy card. If

1566
01:29:53.680 --> 01:29:57.200
you're going to be a technical virgin, so to speak, you're you're willing to do anything

1567
01:29:57.200 --> 01:29:59.920
and everything except intercourse, because that's

1568
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.880
just splitting hairs. That's just a legalistic mindset, like

1569
01:30:02.880 --> 01:30:05.640
trying to get around it, right? You're just trying to get a

1570
01:30:05.640 --> 01:30:08.400
loophole somewhere. And then he said something I don't care. I

1571
01:30:08.400 --> 01:30:10.120
don't know if you caught this, Dinah, but I thought this was

1572
01:30:10.120 --> 01:30:13.440
really, really powerful. And I was completely on his side. He

1573
01:30:13.440 --> 01:30:16.720
said, he said, he said, you don't want to have sex. He said,

1574
01:30:16.720 --> 01:30:20.360
then stop getting on top of me and grinding on me until you

1575
01:30:20.360 --> 01:30:21.480
have an orgasm.

1576
01:30:22.080 --> 01:30:24.440
That's where I began to feel convicted that I want my

1577
01:30:24.440 --> 01:30:27.680
boyfriend to be snugglier. And he's like, I thought you said,

1578
01:30:28.680 --> 01:30:29.680
I didn't even like that.

1579
01:30:29.680 --> 01:30:33.040
She was looking, this girl was straddled on top of him like a

1580
01:30:33.040 --> 01:30:36.840
horse. She was riding that man with her clothes on trying to

1581
01:30:36.840 --> 01:30:42.440
get off. And, and she did. And, you know, and then expecting him

1582
01:30:42.440 --> 01:30:47.800
not to want to have penetration and intercourse. Let's get real.

1583
01:30:47.960 --> 01:30:52.680
Okay. So, Dinah, you're very transparent right now. So when

1584
01:30:52.680 --> 01:30:55.560
you say cuddling, what are you talking about? Because when I

1585
01:30:55.680 --> 01:30:59.920
think cuddling, I don't think I don't think grinding. So talk

1586
01:30:59.920 --> 01:31:00.720
more about that.

1587
01:31:01.000 --> 01:31:03.840
I'm glad my boyfriend's not in this community. But like, when

1588
01:31:03.840 --> 01:31:06.920
we're kissing and making out, I'm kind of like surprised he

1589
01:31:06.920 --> 01:31:11.000
doesn't get a hard on I'm kind of like, surprised he's not more,

1590
01:31:11.080 --> 01:31:16.560
you know, assertive. And I guess my bigger question is trying to

1591
01:31:16.560 --> 01:31:19.720
do this the right way. You know, in this relationship, whereas I

1592
01:31:19.720 --> 01:31:24.720
used to be the everything but girl, I will admit it. Um, how

1593
01:31:24.760 --> 01:31:27.840
how do we know if we are a match with that kind of sexual

1594
01:31:27.840 --> 01:31:31.480
chemistry, and we're going to have like a similar drive? You

1595
01:31:31.480 --> 01:31:31.760
know,

1596
01:31:31.800 --> 01:31:35.320
hey, so you're saying that you're making out and he, as

1597
01:31:35.320 --> 01:31:37.840
far as you know, is not getting an erection of any kind?

1598
01:31:39.040 --> 01:31:42.160
I mean, we don't make out very hardcore, but no.

1599
01:31:42.840 --> 01:31:50.320
Okay. Well, how old is he? 45? Okay, well, yeah, it might take

1600
01:31:50.320 --> 01:31:53.320
a little bit more at 45. You guys, you have to remember men

1601
01:31:53.320 --> 01:31:58.080
sexually peak at like 27 years old. All right. And if you're

1602
01:31:58.080 --> 01:32:00.080
hanging out at nighttime, that's another thing. I don't know if

1603
01:32:00.080 --> 01:32:01.840
you guys know this, but you need to know this about men, let me

1604
01:32:01.840 --> 01:32:05.280
give you a little health lesson about men. testosterone is

1605
01:32:05.280 --> 01:32:08.800
highest in the morning for everyone. But for men that

1606
01:32:08.800 --> 01:32:12.040
matters, because we have a monthly cycle, they have a daily

1607
01:32:12.040 --> 01:32:15.160
cycle. Their testosterone is high in the morning, it's

1608
01:32:15.160 --> 01:32:18.160
peaked. That's why we call it morning wood. For those of you

1609
01:32:18.160 --> 01:32:20.320
that are offended. I'm sorry. That's why men have hard ons in

1610
01:32:20.320 --> 01:32:25.440
the morning, morning erections. And then it slowly declines

1611
01:32:25.440 --> 01:32:28.440
depending on how old they are, it might not have been very high

1612
01:32:28.440 --> 01:32:31.320
in the first place in the morning, but it declines over

1613
01:32:31.320 --> 01:32:34.280
the course of the day. And then it's at its lowest at nighttime

1614
01:32:34.280 --> 01:32:38.800
before they go to sleep. So a lot of times sexual activity

1615
01:32:38.800 --> 01:32:42.080
happens at nighttime, right. And so this is probably part of the

1616
01:32:42.080 --> 01:32:47.240
reason why men, you know, can't perform as well if they're not

1617
01:32:47.240 --> 01:32:51.360
young. So I keep this in your back pocket for when you are

1618
01:32:51.360 --> 01:32:54.520
married, you might want to have a little afternoon delight. You

1619
01:32:54.520 --> 01:32:57.480
might want to have a little afternoon sex, you know, maybe

1620
01:32:57.480 --> 01:32:59.800
even morning sex, a lot of people really aren't into it,

1621
01:32:59.800 --> 01:33:01.880
especially women in the morning, but you might want to take

1622
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:05.640
advantage of that, especially over 50. Because in the evening,

1623
01:33:05.640 --> 01:33:08.840
we can't promise anything, we're not going to promise anything

1624
01:33:08.880 --> 01:33:13.560
after a certain age, okay. It may happen, it may not happen,

1625
01:33:13.560 --> 01:33:18.080
you know, it may be good, it may not be good. And so, so he's 45

1626
01:33:18.080 --> 01:33:21.680
years old, he definitely is way past his peak. And it's just

1627
01:33:21.680 --> 01:33:25.000
possible that you guys are not doing enough of anything to get

1628
01:33:25.000 --> 01:33:26.840
him to that level of arousal.

1629
01:33:27.400 --> 01:33:30.120
And what would you suggest? Like, should we keep it extra,

1630
01:33:30.120 --> 01:33:34.120
extra, extra PG kissing and holding hands only? Like, is

1631
01:33:34.120 --> 01:33:35.920
that your recommendation?

1632
01:33:36.600 --> 01:33:40.600
I mean, you guys how I mean, for everyone, there's a different

1633
01:33:40.600 --> 01:33:44.000
slippery slope. I really do believe in waiting till

1634
01:33:44.000 --> 01:33:48.120
marriage to have really anything that causes orgasm. And the

1635
01:33:48.120 --> 01:33:51.040
reason why is because we could get technical, like, oh, we're

1636
01:33:51.040 --> 01:33:53.280
not having sex, we're just rubbing on each other with our

1637
01:33:53.280 --> 01:33:57.000
clothes fully on until we have orgasm because it's fun. But at

1638
01:33:57.000 --> 01:34:01.000
the same time, anytime we are orgasming together, that level

1639
01:34:01.000 --> 01:34:04.880
of intimacy causes us to have some filters that get put on

1640
01:34:04.880 --> 01:34:08.480
about whether or not this person's right for us. And so

1641
01:34:08.480 --> 01:34:11.360
that's the biggest thing for me. I feel like that is why God

1642
01:34:11.360 --> 01:34:15.320
kept this level of intimacy for marriage, because I think it

1643
01:34:15.320 --> 01:34:18.960
does cause especially in our cursed state. So after the fall

1644
01:34:18.960 --> 01:34:22.440
after Eden, I think it really does cause us to overlook

1645
01:34:22.440 --> 01:34:27.440
things. It causes us to justify things. It also causes us to

1646
01:34:27.440 --> 01:34:30.720
maybe stay longer in situations that we don't belong in. And so

1647
01:34:30.720 --> 01:34:34.800
I really want to encourage you to not be causing any orgasms

1648
01:34:34.800 --> 01:34:39.680
with any part of your body at all in either one of you until

1649
01:34:39.720 --> 01:34:42.480
you guys have a covenant created.

1650
01:34:43.360 --> 01:34:46.960
And I do that if he needs to get testosterone or whatever, he

1651
01:34:46.960 --> 01:34:50.320
will do that. I trust that he will make sure that how long

1652
01:34:50.320 --> 01:34:53.640
have you How long have you been dating? Did you say? Level three

1653
01:34:53.640 --> 01:34:54.360
for one year?

1654
01:34:55.560 --> 01:35:00.080
What? Yeah. Level three for one year. Oh, this is your on

1655
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:01.480
an off again guy, right?

1656
01:35:01.480 --> 01:35:02.980
We broke up one time.

1657
01:35:02.980 --> 01:35:07.200
Okay, all right, so what's the hold up?

1658
01:35:07.200 --> 01:35:08.700
Where are we going?

1659
01:35:08.700 --> 01:35:12.160
That's, we just started couples counseling last week

1660
01:35:12.160 --> 01:35:15.000
to get to the bottom of some stuff, so.

1661
01:35:15.000 --> 01:35:17.240
Okay, and I'm gonna get the show on the road.

1662
01:35:17.240 --> 01:35:18.480
I know, and I'm coaching with Renee,

1663
01:35:18.480 --> 01:35:21.120
so I'm work, trust me, I agree.

1664
01:35:21.120 --> 01:35:23.560
Okay, all right, we gotta get the show on the road

1665
01:35:23.560 --> 01:35:27.960
because, you know, holy and horny is a real thing, y'all.

1666
01:35:28.040 --> 01:35:31.040
And we gotta get moving forward.

1667
01:35:31.040 --> 01:35:31.880
We do.

1668
01:35:31.880 --> 01:35:33.240
Well, and my question is, like, when you,

1669
01:35:33.240 --> 01:35:35.400
it's a secular thing to say, but, you know,

1670
01:35:35.400 --> 01:35:38.120
like, oh, test the car and all that silly stuff people say,

1671
01:35:38.120 --> 01:35:41.400
but, like, we don't need to be worried about any of that?

1672
01:35:41.400 --> 01:35:44.000
I mean, you could possibly be married to someone who,

1673
01:35:44.000 --> 01:35:46.500
you could possibly, look, look, friends,

1674
01:35:48.080 --> 01:35:49.080
this is important.

1675
01:35:50.040 --> 01:35:53.400
We've had 1,600 plus success stories now.

1676
01:35:53.400 --> 01:35:55.560
There's impotence in those success stories.

1677
01:35:55.560 --> 01:35:57.840
There are people that don't have matching sex drives

1678
01:35:58.680 --> 01:35:59.520
or libidos.

1679
01:35:59.520 --> 01:36:01.200
There are people that are not sexually satisfied.

1680
01:36:01.200 --> 01:36:03.000
Please know that that can happen.

1681
01:36:04.200 --> 01:36:07.920
And what is going to be the biggest game changer

1682
01:36:07.920 --> 01:36:12.920
or the biggest depictor or predictor, I should say,

1683
01:36:13.360 --> 01:36:17.600
of marital harmony is whether or not you guys feel like

1684
01:36:17.600 --> 01:36:21.840
you can really talk about that, really talk about that,

1685
01:36:21.840 --> 01:36:24.800
talk about what can we do if, you know,

1686
01:36:24.800 --> 01:36:27.720
one of us isn't satisfied in our sex lives,

1687
01:36:28.560 --> 01:36:29.840
if one of us really can't perform,

1688
01:36:29.840 --> 01:36:33.080
or it's not as good as we thought it would be,

1689
01:36:33.080 --> 01:36:35.560
like, you know, maybe they can't last very long,

1690
01:36:35.560 --> 01:36:37.840
or they just can't get a hard enough erection

1691
01:36:37.840 --> 01:36:40.320
to even make it worth your while.

1692
01:36:40.320 --> 01:36:41.800
You know, there's all kinds of different things

1693
01:36:41.800 --> 01:36:42.840
that can happen.

1694
01:36:42.840 --> 01:36:43.800
You got to get creative,

1695
01:36:43.800 --> 01:36:45.400
especially if we're not making babies,

1696
01:36:45.400 --> 01:36:48.080
we can get very creative with sexual satisfaction,

1697
01:36:48.080 --> 01:36:50.160
but you're probably going to have to get over your prudeness

1698
01:36:50.160 --> 01:36:52.240
because it's probably going to, you know,

1699
01:36:52.240 --> 01:36:53.520
and if you're offended by this,

1700
01:36:53.520 --> 01:36:54.740
then let's go ahead and go there.

1701
01:36:54.740 --> 01:36:56.440
This is why it's a girls only meeting,

1702
01:36:56.440 --> 01:36:59.320
but it's probably going to require you to get creative

1703
01:36:59.320 --> 01:37:00.920
with your fingers, with your mouth,

1704
01:37:00.920 --> 01:37:03.080
with all kinds of different parts of your body

1705
01:37:03.080 --> 01:37:06.320
that maybe you didn't think were going to be employed

1706
01:37:06.320 --> 01:37:09.920
in the marital covenants.

1707
01:37:09.920 --> 01:37:14.120
And so, once again, you know,

1708
01:37:14.120 --> 01:37:17.960
sex is about intimacy, emotional and physical,

1709
01:37:17.960 --> 01:37:19.360
you know, the orgasm's the bonus.

1710
01:37:19.360 --> 01:37:21.160
Most people want to have one,

1711
01:37:21.160 --> 01:37:23.160
and they want to have it with their partner,

1712
01:37:23.160 --> 01:37:24.920
and they want to give it to their partner.

1713
01:37:24.920 --> 01:37:28.600
Most people want to give their partner that pleasure.

1714
01:37:28.600 --> 01:37:31.020
And so you'll have to get creative possibly

1715
01:37:31.020 --> 01:37:32.940
in order to make that happen

1716
01:37:32.940 --> 01:37:35.120
if we're having some sexual dysfunction.

1717
01:37:36.840 --> 01:37:38.400
And I just mean impotence.

1718
01:37:38.400 --> 01:37:41.280
I mean, mainly that, you know,

1719
01:37:41.280 --> 01:37:44.520
I know young couples that weren't able to have intercourse

1720
01:37:44.520 --> 01:37:46.240
really for years,

1721
01:37:46.240 --> 01:37:50.100
because it was just really uncomfortable for the woman.

1722
01:37:50.100 --> 01:37:51.780
She was a virgin when they got married

1723
01:37:51.780 --> 01:37:53.060
and just still doesn't feel good

1724
01:37:53.060 --> 01:37:55.540
to have anything up in there, all right?

1725
01:37:55.540 --> 01:37:57.780
These are people that struggle to even put tampons in.

1726
01:37:57.780 --> 01:38:00.300
Maybe they have a narrower vaginal canal.

1727
01:38:00.300 --> 01:38:01.180
It just doesn't feel good.

1728
01:38:01.180 --> 01:38:02.740
They might have a mental block to it.

1729
01:38:02.740 --> 01:38:04.620
Start praying if you feel like you could possibly

1730
01:38:04.620 --> 01:38:05.900
have a mental block to it,

1731
01:38:05.900 --> 01:38:08.580
because you've just been a virgin for so long,

1732
01:38:08.580 --> 01:38:12.660
and, you know, you can start to overthink it, right?

1733
01:38:12.660 --> 01:38:16.540
And then your body tenses up and kind of shuts down.

1734
01:38:16.540 --> 01:38:18.020
And, you know,

1735
01:38:18.020 --> 01:38:20.300
because we're told all kinds of stuff about it,

1736
01:38:20.300 --> 01:38:23.420
all kinds of stuff about what to expect.

1737
01:38:23.420 --> 01:38:25.620
And so please, please start to,

1738
01:38:25.620 --> 01:38:27.860
please know that God cares about this area of your life,

1739
01:38:27.860 --> 01:38:29.940
and you can pray about this area of your life,

1740
01:38:29.940 --> 01:38:32.140
and you can prepare for this area of your life.

1741
01:38:32.140 --> 01:38:32.980
And a lot of people ask me,

1742
01:38:32.980 --> 01:38:34.380
what about masturbation, Jackie?

1743
01:38:34.380 --> 01:38:35.260
And what about, you know,

1744
01:38:35.260 --> 01:38:38.220
sticking things inside of myself to get myself stretched out

1745
01:38:38.220 --> 01:38:39.800
and ready for this and all that?

1746
01:38:39.800 --> 01:38:41.860
Look, you do you, okay?

1747
01:38:42.900 --> 01:38:45.340
I'm not gonna tell you whether that's wrong or right,

1748
01:38:45.340 --> 01:38:48.060
because I will get emails.

1749
01:38:48.060 --> 01:38:51.820
No matter what I say, I will get emails, all right?

1750
01:38:51.820 --> 01:38:53.060
And so I'm just gonna tell you,

1751
01:38:53.060 --> 01:38:55.860
you know, go with your own conscience.

1752
01:38:55.860 --> 01:39:00.700
I do believe that sexual fantasy is the slippery slope

1753
01:39:00.700 --> 01:39:03.260
where we get ourselves messed up.

1754
01:39:03.260 --> 01:39:07.380
I don't think the action of, you know,

1755
01:39:07.380 --> 01:39:10.380
manual stimulation is where we get ourselves messed up.

1756
01:39:10.380 --> 01:39:13.060
I think it's what we're thinking about

1757
01:39:13.060 --> 01:39:15.180
when we get ourselves involved in that.

1758
01:39:15.180 --> 01:39:16.820
And you're like, well, what are we thinking about, Jackie?

1759
01:39:16.820 --> 01:39:19.860
I don't know, are you reading those spicy mom porn books?

1760
01:39:19.860 --> 01:39:23.560
You know, I just wanna let you know, Bridgerton is porn.

1761
01:39:23.560 --> 01:39:26.260
You're not looking at it for the costumes, my friend.

1762
01:39:26.260 --> 01:39:27.780
Bless you, okay?

1763
01:39:27.780 --> 01:39:29.260
But I've seen a few episodes,

1764
01:39:29.260 --> 01:39:32.060
because people are like, Jackie, watch Bridgerton.

1765
01:39:32.060 --> 01:39:36.180
And so I watched a few episodes, and I'm like, dear Jesus,

1766
01:39:36.180 --> 01:39:39.140
this is just Game of Thrones, but in a different era.

1767
01:39:40.140 --> 01:39:41.980
Because I also tried to watch Game of Thrones,

1768
01:39:41.980 --> 01:39:44.100
because it was so hip and happening back in the day,

1769
01:39:44.100 --> 01:39:46.820
and everyone's like, you must see Game of Thrones.

1770
01:39:46.820 --> 01:39:49.220
And so I watched it, and the first episode,

1771
01:39:49.220 --> 01:39:50.660
people are doing a doggie style,

1772
01:39:50.660 --> 01:39:53.580
and they're brother and sister!

1773
01:39:53.580 --> 01:39:58.580
And I was like, dear God, my Christian friends,

1774
01:39:58.580 --> 01:40:00.180
my pastor friends, told me.

1775
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.440
to watch this show. You guys. And so if you ask me what can we possibly be fantasizing Jackie

1776
01:40:07.440 --> 01:40:12.160
about when we're masturbating? Well, depends on what you've been watching. Depends on what you've

1777
01:40:12.160 --> 01:40:16.720
been reading. You ask yourself that. I can't ask you that. You got to ask yourself that.

1778
01:40:16.720 --> 01:40:22.080
Okay. So once again, I can't even call it soft porn. I guess it's soft porn simply because we

1779
01:40:22.080 --> 01:40:32.240
can't see closeups of genitals, but friends, it is straight up erotic erotic eroticism at the

1780
01:40:32.240 --> 01:40:38.240
least important at the most. So please be careful with that. Um, if you feel like you have a very

1781
01:40:38.240 --> 01:40:43.920
small vagina and you want to get that, if you want to ask your doctor about that, like maybe you have

1782
01:40:43.920 --> 01:40:48.560
trouble inserting a tampon and you really want to find out about that. I want you to find out about

1783
01:40:48.560 --> 01:40:55.840
that. Find out what you can do in order to get ready for naked because sex is amazing.

1784
01:40:55.840 --> 01:40:59.920
When you're with someone that you love, no matter what kind of experiences you've had in the past.

1785
01:40:59.920 --> 01:41:04.400
And I believe that you're going to have an amazing intimate life with your future spouse,

1786
01:41:04.400 --> 01:41:10.080
but you still need to prepare for it. Okay. Jackie, I'm on LO right now. They

1787
01:41:10.080 --> 01:41:14.400
recommended that the Estreol cream and the oh, amazing cream. Have you ever tried the

1788
01:41:14.400 --> 01:41:21.920
oh, amazing cream? I've heard of it. Okay. Cause okay. Again, full transparency. I have

1789
01:41:21.920 --> 01:41:26.400
never had an orgasm in my life. Now I have, I stopped having sex very young, but I've never

1790
01:41:26.400 --> 01:41:35.360
had one. So I, I don't know. I just kind of get the cream. That makes me sad. And me too,

1791
01:41:36.240 --> 01:41:40.960
but I'm also not married. So I'm hoping. I have heard about that. Okay. So they said,

1792
01:41:40.960 --> 01:41:45.600
get on the cream and that's going to cause the blood to rush you guys. Just so you know,

1793
01:41:47.920 --> 01:41:52.160
men have erections ladies, because the blood rushes. I'm going to tell you all the things

1794
01:41:52.160 --> 01:41:57.280
that your sister and your mom didn't tell you. The blood rushes to their penises. This is probably

1795
01:41:57.280 --> 01:42:01.040
why when men are aroused, they're not thinking with their brains. Cause there's no blood there.

1796
01:42:01.040 --> 01:42:06.160
There's no blood in their brain. All the blood is now in their other brain, right? In their penis.

1797
01:42:06.160 --> 01:42:10.080
And so that's what causes the erection. And so if men have circulatory problems,

1798
01:42:10.160 --> 01:42:14.720
if they have diabetes, if they have other issues, you know, physical issues, that's probably going

1799
01:42:14.720 --> 01:42:20.000
to impair that area. Um, once again, hormones play a big part of this, but same with women

1800
01:42:20.000 --> 01:42:25.840
for women, you know, the, there's going to be an added direction of blood to basically our

1801
01:42:25.840 --> 01:42:30.080
erection, which is our clitoris. And the clitoris is going to be very, very sensitive. That's that

1802
01:42:30.080 --> 01:42:34.960
little tiny knob at the front of your vagina. It's going to be very sensitive. It's going to be very,

1803
01:42:34.960 --> 01:42:40.720
you know, willing to be aroused or willing to be stimulated. And, but a lot of times people

1804
01:42:40.720 --> 01:42:46.560
don't realize this. If your partner is not physically compatible to your, so case in point,

1805
01:42:46.560 --> 01:42:52.160
what Dinah was saying, if your physiologies are not compatible, like say, you know, he's not well

1806
01:42:52.160 --> 01:42:57.440
endowed, say that his penis is smaller than the average penis, or maybe it's not as wide as the

1807
01:42:57.440 --> 01:43:02.640
average penis then, or maybe you're, you have a short vaginal canal. Like there's all different

1808
01:43:02.640 --> 01:43:09.760
things that can happen to make it really not that compatible as far as that, you know, friction

1809
01:43:09.760 --> 01:43:15.840
rubbing against your clitoris and causing you to have, you know, an orgasm. And so that could be

1810
01:43:15.840 --> 01:43:20.960
part of what happens. And I heard a lot of women do not have, do not have orgasms. And I think

1811
01:43:20.960 --> 01:43:25.600
this is ridiculous. You know why? Cause there's lots of ways to have an orgasm and you should

1812
01:43:25.600 --> 01:43:30.320
be comfortable enough with your partner, with your husband that you just gave your life to

1813
01:43:30.320 --> 01:43:36.560
got, you know, you just, you just promise and covenanted in a covenant, you know, covenanted

1814
01:43:36.560 --> 01:43:41.840
to, to forsake all others for this person and all the things till death do you part.

1815
01:43:41.840 --> 01:43:48.320
And you can't tell this person what feels good. Let's get over our prudeness. There's different

1816
01:43:48.320 --> 01:43:55.520
positions that can get over physiology, not being good. With every word that comes out of our

1817
01:43:55.520 --> 01:44:02.960
mouths, my mouth, we're losing more people. All right. I don't care. This is girls. All right.

1818
01:44:02.960 --> 01:44:07.520
There's different positions. If you were raised to believe that the only position you can be

1819
01:44:07.520 --> 01:44:11.840
is flat on your back with him on top of you, but also known as the missionary position for some

1820
01:44:11.840 --> 01:44:17.920
reason, um, then glory to God. But there's lots of other positions that you can get into

1821
01:44:18.640 --> 01:44:23.600
that might work better for your physiology. And that's what you get to explore together.

1822
01:44:23.600 --> 01:44:27.120
That's what you get to. That's what you get to explore together after you get married,

1823
01:44:27.120 --> 01:44:31.040
what feels good, but you have to be willing to talk about that. Hey, that doesn't feel good.

1824
01:44:31.040 --> 01:44:37.040
Hey, I don't like that. You can even be in positions like this might be what our sister

1825
01:44:37.040 --> 01:44:41.920
Tiffany needs to do where he's behind you. Maybe you're on your side and you are manually

1826
01:44:41.920 --> 01:44:48.240
stimulating yourself, you know, while having intercourse in order to reach eventually reach

1827
01:44:48.240 --> 01:44:52.400
orgasm. There's all kinds of different things. So, you know, none of them are against the law.

1828
01:44:53.120 --> 01:44:57.360
None of them are against God's law. None of it. I promise you God's not like,

1829
01:44:57.360 --> 01:44:59.760
Oh, they're out of the missionary position.

1830
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:01.040
Straight to jail.

1831
01:45:01.040 --> 01:45:03.960
That is not how it works, okay?

1832
01:45:05.520 --> 01:45:07.560
You got to discuss this stuff with each other

1833
01:45:07.560 --> 01:45:10.320
and find out what each other are comfortable with

1834
01:45:10.320 --> 01:45:12.920
because we don't want to bring shame

1835
01:45:12.920 --> 01:45:15.520
into our intimate life.

1836
01:45:15.520 --> 01:45:17.200
Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable,

1837
01:45:17.200 --> 01:45:18.280
say they want to try something

1838
01:45:18.280 --> 01:45:19.360
that makes you feel uncomfortable,

1839
01:45:19.360 --> 01:45:20.400
it makes you feel ashamed,

1840
01:45:20.400 --> 01:45:22.440
or it makes you feel dirty or gross.

1841
01:45:22.440 --> 01:45:23.520
It's a no.

1842
01:45:23.520 --> 01:45:25.680
And they should be okay with that.

1843
01:45:26.760 --> 01:45:29.400
And this is where porn really comes into play, friends.

1844
01:45:29.400 --> 01:45:31.160
A lot of times, especially men

1845
01:45:31.160 --> 01:45:33.280
that have had some kind of porn abuse,

1846
01:45:33.280 --> 01:45:37.760
will bring those ideas into marriage

1847
01:45:37.760 --> 01:45:40.880
and want to try things that, in my opinion,

1848
01:45:40.880 --> 01:45:44.440
should never be tried, like anal sex, okay?

1849
01:45:44.440 --> 01:45:45.560
That's a big one.

1850
01:45:45.560 --> 01:45:48.840
And so I'm just going to tell you from my heart to yours,

1851
01:45:48.840 --> 01:45:53.360
I do not believe that that is part of intimacy.

1852
01:45:53.360 --> 01:45:54.240
I don't.

1853
01:45:54.240 --> 01:45:56.320
I don't believe that these are parts of our body

1854
01:45:56.320 --> 01:45:58.000
that were meant to be used this way.

1855
01:45:58.000 --> 01:45:59.760
And I feel like it's going to cause physical,

1856
01:45:59.760 --> 01:46:04.360
mental, emotional, and possibly even spiritual

1857
01:46:04.360 --> 01:46:06.360
soul damage to you.

1858
01:46:06.360 --> 01:46:08.400
And so just because someone wants to try it

1859
01:46:08.400 --> 01:46:09.560
because they saw it somewhere

1860
01:46:09.560 --> 01:46:11.360
and they think it'll be exciting or fun

1861
01:46:11.360 --> 01:46:12.760
doesn't mean that you have to.

1862
01:46:12.760 --> 01:46:14.360
And you're going to know whether or not,

1863
01:46:14.360 --> 01:46:16.240
hopefully, you will be comfortable.

1864
01:46:16.240 --> 01:46:18.280
So Dinah has been in this relationship

1865
01:46:18.280 --> 01:46:20.200
for over a year at level three,

1866
01:46:20.200 --> 01:46:22.320
which is marriage-minded courtship.

1867
01:46:22.320 --> 01:46:26.400
And so pretty much between there and in getting engaged,

1868
01:46:26.920 --> 01:46:29.160
you should be able to start talking about sex

1869
01:46:29.160 --> 01:46:31.320
with this person that you're going to marry.

1870
01:46:32.800 --> 01:46:34.360
And we do that in Simbis, just so you know.

1871
01:46:34.360 --> 01:46:36.400
We have a whole section on sex,

1872
01:46:36.400 --> 01:46:39.040
a whole section on hot topics around sex.

1873
01:46:39.040 --> 01:46:41.040
We encourage people to talk about

1874
01:46:41.040 --> 01:46:44.400
how much they are excited about having sex with each other

1875
01:46:44.400 --> 01:46:47.120
and how many times they're expecting to do it,

1876
01:46:47.120 --> 01:46:49.600
have sex, have intercourse a week with each other.

1877
01:46:49.600 --> 01:46:51.320
That's all part of Simbis.

1878
01:46:51.320 --> 01:46:52.760
It's in the algorithm, actually.

1879
01:46:52.760 --> 01:46:54.600
We didn't even create it that way.

1880
01:46:54.640 --> 01:46:57.720
And then asking maybe also like,

1881
01:46:59.080 --> 01:47:01.920
what their past sexual history is.

1882
01:47:01.920 --> 01:47:02.840
You should already know

1883
01:47:02.840 --> 01:47:04.760
what their history with pornography is.

1884
01:47:04.760 --> 01:47:07.040
You should find that out pretty early in the relationship

1885
01:47:07.040 --> 01:47:08.120
so you know what you're dealing with.

1886
01:47:08.120 --> 01:47:11.200
Most people have seen porn of some sort, especially men.

1887
01:47:11.200 --> 01:47:12.560
And so you want to find that out

1888
01:47:12.560 --> 01:47:14.080
pretty early in the relationship

1889
01:47:14.080 --> 01:47:16.000
because you don't want to get into a situation

1890
01:47:16.000 --> 01:47:18.440
where you're in a sexual relationship,

1891
01:47:18.440 --> 01:47:22.480
married to someone who begins to exhibit deviant behavior

1892
01:47:22.480 --> 01:47:23.560
because we don't want that.

1893
01:47:23.560 --> 01:47:25.280
And I feel like if you ask the right questions,

1894
01:47:25.280 --> 01:47:27.480
you're going to know that way ahead of time.

1895
01:47:27.480 --> 01:47:29.120
And then you can make a decision

1896
01:47:29.120 --> 01:47:32.320
to not move forward with that person.

1897
01:47:32.320 --> 01:47:36.360
Now, don't be asking them on the second date, okay?

1898
01:47:36.360 --> 01:47:37.760
Don't be asking them on the second date.

1899
01:47:37.760 --> 01:47:39.520
Don't be asking them about their body count

1900
01:47:39.520 --> 01:47:40.880
when you first meet them.

1901
01:47:40.880 --> 01:47:44.200
We have to wait, ladies, until we are in a situation

1902
01:47:44.200 --> 01:47:47.920
where this relationship is getting romantically involved.

1903
01:47:47.920 --> 01:47:49.720
And that's where we can lightly bring these up.

1904
01:47:49.720 --> 01:47:51.120
And we can talk about what that looks like

1905
01:47:51.120 --> 01:47:56.120
to bring up some of these more intrinsic, deeper things.

1906
01:47:56.480 --> 01:47:57.720
Okay?

1907
01:47:57.720 --> 01:47:58.880
All right.

1908
01:47:58.880 --> 01:48:00.760
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

1909
01:48:00.760 --> 01:48:03.240
Jackie, would it be okay if I share a resource

1910
01:48:03.240 --> 01:48:05.600
related to just what we've been talking about?

1911
01:48:08.720 --> 01:48:10.440
I can send it to you directly.

1912
01:48:10.440 --> 01:48:12.560
I'm part of Institute for Sexual Wholeness,

1913
01:48:12.560 --> 01:48:13.680
which is the only Christian-

1914
01:48:13.680 --> 01:48:14.880
Why don't you just DM me?

1915
01:48:14.880 --> 01:48:15.720
Why don't you DM me first? I'll send it to you

1916
01:48:15.720 --> 01:48:17.600
and you can see if that would be helpful

1917
01:48:17.600 --> 01:48:19.920
to share with other people as a resource.

1918
01:48:19.920 --> 01:48:20.920
I'll send it to you.

1919
01:48:23.560 --> 01:48:24.400
All right.

1920
01:48:28.480 --> 01:48:30.520
Okay. Are you gonna send it to me right now?

1921
01:48:32.200 --> 01:48:34.400
Or you could just email it to us and, you know,

1922
01:48:34.400 --> 01:48:36.960
we can, we can talk about it.

1923
01:48:37.840 --> 01:48:38.680
We can talk about it.

1924
01:48:38.680 --> 01:48:41.400
Yeah, I'm gonna, should I just send it to your messenger

1925
01:48:41.400 --> 01:48:42.760
and just send it right now?

1926
01:48:45.080 --> 01:48:46.360
Sure. Okay.

1927
01:48:46.360 --> 01:48:47.880
Was this conversation sure?

1928
01:48:47.880 --> 01:48:50.520
Is this conversation helpful for anybody?

1929
01:48:50.520 --> 01:48:52.640
Raise your hand if you found it helpful.

1930
01:48:52.640 --> 01:48:54.120
It may have been a little TMI,

1931
01:48:54.120 --> 01:48:56.840
but it also needs to be talked about.

1932
01:48:58.000 --> 01:49:00.520
I feel like, you guys, I feel like the main themes

1933
01:49:00.520 --> 01:49:02.800
that Holy Spirit was trying to get across to us tonight

1934
01:49:02.800 --> 01:49:05.040
as a group were, you know,

1935
01:49:05.040 --> 01:49:07.440
we don't have to be afraid of the things

1936
01:49:07.440 --> 01:49:08.600
that are lurking in the dark

1937
01:49:08.600 --> 01:49:11.200
when it comes to our female health.

1938
01:49:11.200 --> 01:49:12.480
You know, all these things,

1939
01:49:12.480 --> 01:49:16.200
these diseases that try to attack our reproductive systems,

1940
01:49:16.200 --> 01:49:17.280
you know, cause that's what we're talking about.

1941
01:49:17.680 --> 01:49:18.520
We're talking about breast cancer.

1942
01:49:18.520 --> 01:49:20.480
We're talking about uterus stuff.

1943
01:49:20.480 --> 01:49:22.120
We're talking about female cancers,

1944
01:49:22.120 --> 01:49:23.760
female metabolic diseases.

1945
01:49:23.760 --> 01:49:25.040
We're talking about that.

1946
01:49:25.040 --> 01:49:28.120
In Jesus name, we declare that the curse is broken

1947
01:49:28.120 --> 01:49:30.640
and everything that's come against our womanhood

1948
01:49:30.640 --> 01:49:32.800
and everything that's come against our motherhood,

1949
01:49:32.800 --> 01:49:34.920
that we just declare that that stuff is broke off

1950
01:49:34.920 --> 01:49:36.800
in Jesus name and that we are free from that.

1951
01:49:36.800 --> 01:49:39.960
Right now, Father, we pray for your daughter, Karanda, Lord.

1952
01:49:39.960 --> 01:49:42.400
We pray, Lord, that she has a clean bill of health,

1953
01:49:42.400 --> 01:49:44.880
Lord, and there will be no more scare tactics, God.

1954
01:49:44.880 --> 01:49:47.560
There will be nothing else left to linger

1955
01:49:47.560 --> 01:49:49.920
and nothing else left to say, Father.

1956
01:49:49.920 --> 01:49:52.160
It'll be open and shut case, done,

1957
01:49:52.160 --> 01:49:53.680
and she can move forward with her life,

1958
01:49:53.680 --> 01:49:56.560
not waiting for six months or nine months or a year

1959
01:49:56.560 --> 01:49:57.720
or whatever it is.

1960
01:49:57.720 --> 01:49:59.520
We thank you for your daughter, Tiffany, God,

1961
01:49:59.520 --> 01:50:00.520
that you have her.

1962
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:02.560
covered, and that you have always had her covered, Lord.

1963
01:50:02.560 --> 01:50:06.120
And you continue, God, to just take care of her and help her.

1964
01:50:06.120 --> 01:50:07.720
And for all of these women and everyone

1965
01:50:07.720 --> 01:50:09.520
who's ever had anyone in their family that's

1966
01:50:09.520 --> 01:50:10.760
dealt with something, whether there's

1967
01:50:10.760 --> 01:50:12.720
a mom or sister or a woman in their family,

1968
01:50:12.720 --> 01:50:14.160
we are not those women.

1969
01:50:14.160 --> 01:50:16.240
Father, we have not lived the same lives as those women.

1970
01:50:16.240 --> 01:50:18.520
We've not made the same choices as those women.

1971
01:50:18.520 --> 01:50:21.120
We might share some cells or some DNA,

1972
01:50:21.120 --> 01:50:23.720
but we are part of the lineage and blood of Christ Jesus.

1973
01:50:23.720 --> 01:50:25.520
And Father, we thank you for that.

1974
01:50:25.520 --> 01:50:27.840
We are not going to continue to live our lives in fear,

1975
01:50:27.840 --> 01:50:32.160
but we are going to make sound and wise, informed decisions

1976
01:50:32.160 --> 01:50:33.800
as Holy Spirit leads us, leads us

1977
01:50:33.800 --> 01:50:37.840
to people that have the things that we need for our lives,

1978
01:50:37.840 --> 01:50:41.720
for our specific bodies, and for our DNA, and for our journeys.

1979
01:50:41.720 --> 01:50:43.520
And so, Lord, you know what we need,

1980
01:50:43.520 --> 01:50:45.120
and you know how to get it to us.

1981
01:50:45.120 --> 01:50:48.120
And so, Lord, we thank you for that in advance.

1982
01:50:48.120 --> 01:50:50.240
Lord, we thank you, God, that sex is a gift

1983
01:50:50.240 --> 01:50:51.160
that you've given us.

1984
01:50:51.160 --> 01:50:53.080
Intimacy is a gift that you've given us,

1985
01:50:53.080 --> 01:50:54.880
including physical intimacy.

1986
01:50:54.880 --> 01:50:56.800
And we pray, God, that we will get the healing

1987
01:50:56.800 --> 01:50:59.200
that we need to enjoy it, that we'll get the information

1988
01:50:59.200 --> 01:51:01.360
that we need to enjoy it, that any of us

1989
01:51:01.360 --> 01:51:04.240
that have religious ideas, any of us that have fear,

1990
01:51:04.240 --> 01:51:06.880
any of us that have shame, that we're releasing this right now

1991
01:51:06.880 --> 01:51:07.840
in Jesus' name.

1992
01:51:07.840 --> 01:51:10.240
There's healing for those of you that have had abortions.

1993
01:51:10.240 --> 01:51:11.280
I just really feel that.

1994
01:51:11.280 --> 01:51:14.400
I just release healing over you in Jesus' name.

1995
01:51:14.400 --> 01:51:16.720
Father, God wants you to know that you are loved,

1996
01:51:16.720 --> 01:51:18.320
that you are seen, that you are known,

1997
01:51:18.320 --> 01:51:20.120
and so are your unborn children.

1998
01:51:20.120 --> 01:51:21.040
They're in heaven.

1999
01:51:21.040 --> 01:51:24.360
They're going to be part of your eternity.

2000
01:51:24.360 --> 01:51:25.720
No one's mad at you.

2001
01:51:25.760 --> 01:51:27.720
No one hates you.

2002
01:51:27.720 --> 01:51:30.400
You're not condemned for the rest of your life.

2003
01:51:30.400 --> 01:51:32.720
Those of you that feel like you might never have a baby

2004
01:51:32.720 --> 01:51:34.560
because of sexual mistakes that you've made,

2005
01:51:34.560 --> 01:51:37.960
or maybe abortions and different things that you've had,

2006
01:51:37.960 --> 01:51:39.960
and you feel like you don't deserve to have

2007
01:51:39.960 --> 01:51:43.160
this area of intimacy in your life be good,

2008
01:51:43.160 --> 01:51:46.600
or you don't feel like you're going to have healthy children

2009
01:51:46.600 --> 01:51:49.600
or good things happen to you because you just feel

2010
01:51:49.600 --> 01:51:52.080
like you deserve bad things because of these decisions

2011
01:51:52.080 --> 01:51:54.800
that you've made, and it's just not true.

2012
01:51:54.800 --> 01:51:57.000
Shame off of you in Jesus' name.

2013
01:51:57.000 --> 01:52:00.160
We declare that you have a blank slate,

2014
01:52:00.160 --> 01:52:02.120
that your sins have gone on before you

2015
01:52:02.120 --> 01:52:05.080
to the throne of Jesus, and they are under the blood,

2016
01:52:05.080 --> 01:52:08.000
and that you are free to love yourself,

2017
01:52:08.000 --> 01:52:09.240
and you're free to love others.

2018
01:52:09.240 --> 01:52:12.400
You're free to just, God loves your womanhood,

2019
01:52:12.400 --> 01:52:16.440
and you are free to just live the rest of this life

2020
01:52:16.440 --> 01:52:19.800
with the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

2021
01:52:19.800 --> 01:52:22.720
because God wants to remove your sin from you

2022
01:52:22.720 --> 01:52:24.680
as far as the east is from the west,

2023
01:52:25.560 --> 01:52:27.800
and he did that at the finished cross of Calvary.

2024
01:52:27.800 --> 01:52:30.520
He removed that curse, and anything that you've done

2025
01:52:30.520 --> 01:52:33.560
because of that curse, but you have to accept it.

2026
01:52:33.560 --> 01:52:37.280
You have to accept that it is removed from you,

2027
01:52:37.280 --> 01:52:41.080
and that you are vindicated, and that you are pure,

2028
01:52:41.080 --> 01:52:43.560
and that you are allowed to walk in righteousness,

2029
01:52:43.560 --> 01:52:46.000
the righteousness of Christ for the rest of your life,

2030
01:52:46.000 --> 01:52:47.840
and so, Lord, we thank you for that.

2031
01:52:47.840 --> 01:52:49.600
Bad things are not coming for us.

2032
01:52:49.600 --> 01:52:51.600
Good things are coming for us,

2033
01:52:51.600 --> 01:52:54.280
and we seal it all in in Jesus' name, amen.

2034
01:52:55.680 --> 01:52:57.680
All right, friends.

2035
01:52:57.680 --> 01:52:59.240
All right, let me look at this real quick

2036
01:52:59.240 --> 01:53:02.760
and see if this is, let me see.

2037
01:53:10.960 --> 01:53:12.200
I'll look through this, Elizabeth,

2038
01:53:12.200 --> 01:53:14.280
and thanks for sharing it, and if it's, you know,

2039
01:53:14.280 --> 01:53:15.920
if it's something that I think we can share in the group,

2040
01:53:15.920 --> 01:53:18.680
not that it was bad or good, but if it is something,

2041
01:53:18.680 --> 01:53:21.280
you know, I'll share some links.

2042
01:53:21.280 --> 01:53:22.200
I need to share some links

2043
01:53:22.200 --> 01:53:24.400
for some different creams and stuff anyway,

2044
01:53:25.120 --> 01:53:26.920
and you guys, you have access to each other in phase three,

2045
01:53:26.920 --> 01:53:30.800
so please, share with each other, okay?

2046
01:53:30.800 --> 01:53:32.280
That's what Girls' Night's all about.

2047
01:53:32.280 --> 01:53:33.760
Let's carry it on to the group.

2048
01:53:33.760 --> 01:53:34.600
Love you guys.

2049
01:53:34.600 --> 01:53:35.440
See you soon.

2050
01:53:35.440 --> 01:53:36.280
Bye, everyone.