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Hi everyone. Welcome. Hello. I almost said happy Monday because I'm so used to coaching on Monday night to all.

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All right, just making sure we're recording. Everything's good. Welcome. I know more people will be joining in tonight as we move forward, but I do want to go ahead and start right on time because I have a lot of stuff.

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I've been, I've been really excited about this session all day long. You all, as soon as I put the content together, I'm like, this is going to be good. So hope and pray that you receive it the same way that it came into my heart and spirit.

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And we're going to go ahead and pray and dive right in. Father, thank you so much for God, your amazing grace. God, that is just a safe place for us. God, I thank you for revealings, for healing that are going to happen tonight.

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God, I thank you that just what's been burning in my heart and spirit for the last few days. And even today, God, I pray that you would help me to convey it clearly that it would bring breakthrough, that it would bring revelation, that it would bring insight to all those that hear it.

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God, that you would connect more dots for people, just even myself. So many times there's things that we can't see. We don't know what's causing us to be stuck, but God, we know that you do.

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So we're asking you to bring things out of darkness into the light so that there can be healing, so that there can be restoration, so that yes, Lord, that there can be new perspectives that are received tonight.

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God, that there's shifts in the supernatural realm, even if we can't feel it, God, that things are shifting and they're moving, God, and it's happening in us.

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And so we thank you for this moment in time. We thank you, God, for how you've ordained this day in our lives to hear what your spirit is saying to us.

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We thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here. We thank you for the power of your presence, that the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead can give us revelation and courage and grace tonight to help us to move forward in Jesus' name. Amen.

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So tonight I titled this session as Reconnecting to Identity and Receiving Fresh Grace, because I just started thinking about as I was coaching the HeartWork group just yesterday, as I was working on the content for that, I cycle back through, you guys kind of probably know that by now, we kind of go back to the beginning and we start over with the new people.

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And as I was working on the identity message and the inner vows section, it just clicked that this was the right time to come back and bring this back to the VIP group, help us revisit some things, help us go deeper in some things.

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So I'm not actually going to go as far into the inner vows tonight as I thought I was going to. So I may do that session next month, because I do think there's a lot of us that we still are like, I don't even know if I have inner vows. I don't know. And so I just feel like that needs its own session.

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Because as I was putting some of the content together, today is 5-5-26, if you didn't know. And it kind of came to my spirit as I was working on the content because of how important grace is in our healing process.

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You still struggle. There's so much heart work in you and get set free. And you still struggle. There's this like inner shame dialogue that you probably battle with. Like why am I not past this by now something is wrong with me. And that kind of stuff starts to kind of reverberate in our souls and our spirits.

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That is us not having grace towards ourselves. That's us getting out of alignment regarding our identity in Christ. Knowing that, you know, he's always at work in us. We're his sons and his daughters. He loves us.

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Y'all, as much as we want to be free, I really want you to get this tonight. I feel this in the spirit. So this is why I'm going to linger here for a minute. The Father wants you free more than you even want to be free.

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I know that might be hard to comprehend because we want, I know how I feel when I don't feel free in an area. And I know how badly I want to be free. And I know in times in my life in the past when I didn't feel free or I felt like I was trying as hard as I knew how to do. And it just felt like I was still stuck in an area. Man, that can be frustrating, right?

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But God wants us to be free more than we even want to. And so if that's not what you believe about the heart of the Father, I really want to encourage you to spend some time talking to him about it. Guess what? He's a big God. He can handle the areas that you're mad at him. The areas that you don't even still trust him. The areas that you're just not sure if he is.

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who he says he is. Like he is big enough for all of that. He's big enough for us

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to come to him and give him all of those things. And so

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today on 5 5 26,

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I want to open with the scripture from Song of Songs. It's chapter 2 verse 10.

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This is in the Passion Translation and this is what it says.

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And gentlemen, when I read this scripture it applies to

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you as well. It has a very feminine language so I just don't want the guys

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to check out on this. But this is what it says.

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Arise my dearest, hurry my darling, come away with me. I have come as you

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have asked, to draw you to my heart and lead you

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out. For now is the time, my beautiful one. And I just thought that

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was such a timely opening scripture for tonight.

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I felt the Lord on it as I read it today. Like he's

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come as we've asked him to do. So no matter what we feel, remember we

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can't let our feelings be in the driver's seat. Some of this is we have to

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start partnering with the faith to believe what the word says.

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God is answering some of you even right now. He's saying you've been asking me.

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It has felt like I haven't come to you but I am coming.

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Because now is the time. You know we get stuck in

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in the like what isn't working, what isn't working, what isn't working.

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And the enemy wants us to stay there instead of what

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is going well.

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So 5-5, May 5th. Five represents grace in the Bible. So

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tonight as we're sitting in this moment, literally tonight is not only grace

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in and of itself but it's grace upon grace.

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And that's kind of like my underlying title underneath of that reconnecting to

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identity and receiving fresh grace. I want you all to understand there's

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going to be this extra layer of grace, an extra measure of grace, however you

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want to look at it. But I believe it's available to us tonight.

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I just don't think that it's a coincidence because when I originally

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built the calendar with Jackie for this month, I was supposed to

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do next Tuesday night. But some schedules changed

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and so I'm teaching tonight. And I just felt that you know sometimes

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you just hear this nudge from the Lord like this is meant to be.

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For this group of individuals that are here tonight, those that are going to

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watch the replay, you've been doing the heart work. God

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sees you. You've learned the heart work tools. You've been trying your best to

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apply them and live into them. Many of you experienced breakthroughs

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already. But some of you, you know as I put in

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the post for today, some of you if you're really honest with yourselves,

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you've felt yourself drifting back toward old familiar habits,

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old patterns of thinking, old patterns of behavior.

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And you're kind of like wondering how did I get back

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here. There's some of you that you're doing great.

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You're getting breakthrough. You're feeling that extra wind in your sails.

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And I want you to know that tonight's session is for

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both of those groups of people. And if you don't find yourself in either one of

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those groups, you're somewhere in between, it's for you

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too. So tonight isn't so much that I want to focus

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on, you know, because as soon as I say like some of y'all might maybe feel like

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you've been slipping back. Tonight isn't so much about like, hey

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what didn't you do that caused you to slip into that?

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Tonight is about you receiving the fresh grace that's available to you for your

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journey. And that your main job tonight is to

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receive. That's your main job tonight. And in the

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days ahead to practice receiving God's grace that empowers us. Do you know we

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can't do anything without his grace? Like we can't do

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anything apart from him. And so often we we enter, you know, even

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myself back in the day, I would try to date without even asking

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him for help. And even though we're in this community

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where we talk about asking God for help all the time,

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some of you all are even getting on the apps and you're not even praying before

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you get on. And I'm not saying that to shame you, but I want you all to start

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really incorporating God into every moment.

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He wants to help you, but he's never going to force his way in.

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Remember he stands at the door of our hearts and he knocks.

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John 1 16 says, from his fullness we all have we have all received grace

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upon grace. So I want you to get that too, from his

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fullness, not from his lack. He's not going to be like shorthanded in

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the amount of grace. He's like, oh you only, Amy, you just get a drip

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today and that's all I have available for you.

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No, he's like, from my fullness, like if it was God talking to us, he's

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like, I have all of this abundance, I have all of this plenty,

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and I want to give it to you.

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But we believe that there's only these little drips of stuff coming out.

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And I'm talking about grace, but the reality is, is this is true about the things that we have need of as well.

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And y'all, spirit mates fall into that.

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God created us for relationship, for partnership.

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You're here because you believe He's called you to have a spirit mate.

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And He wants you to know that He cares about that as well.

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So again, not grace once, but grace double, a double portion.

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And this is the reality. It's not grace if you performed well enough.

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It's not grace like if you had a perfect interaction on the dating app or you walked into the perfect job.

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Or, you know, like we were talking this morning as a staff for our church,

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and we were talking about the conversation of the reality of God accepts us at our worst.

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Like He loves us the same at our worst that He does when we're doing great.

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And here's the reality. When we find someone that is a great spirit mate for us, they do too.

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And that's what God has for all of you.

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So the drift that some of us have been feeling is real.

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And God's grace is available to cover the drift that you've been feeling.

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And so I want to talk a little bit about tonight, understanding why we default back.

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Because I think if some of y'all can understand why you have kind of a propensity, if you will,

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it's not your fault, but like when things happen, the pressures applied,

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it's like automatic right now where you drift back.

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And so here's a couple important things. Some of y'all might know this already,

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but I just feel like to kind of give some kind of reminders of why we do what we do.

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So I want you to understand, you know, I try to talk to you guys when I do this session

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a little bit about the brain, you know, every time I do it just to remind you

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that your subconscious mind is incredibly loyal.

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The tricky thing is, what is it loyal to?

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Sometimes it's not, sometimes our subconscious mind and our subconscious in our bodies,

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it's not loyal to our healing. It's loyal to our, you know, old things.

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The things that we learned long ago.

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The reality is, is our subconscious mind isn't even loyal to our declarations.

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That's truth. It's a retraining of what's internal on the inside of us.

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So over time, as we heal more and more and more, the internal dialogue,

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our subconscious will start to shift in what we believe and what we feel in our bodies.

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Not our feelings as far as emotion right now, but what your body is telling you.

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Okay? So sometimes, you know, we talk about how when triggers happen,

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we feel it in our bodies. That's what I'm talking about.

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So your subconscious mind is loyal to what is familiar.

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So I want you to think about growing up, what was familiar for you?

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What were some of your go-to thoughts about yourself, about your family,

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about other people that you dated, or, you know, even when you're younger.

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When, you know, boys were gross and girls, you know, were the ones that the boys picked on

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if they liked them, you know, back in those days.

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What was familiar then?

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Because those are the things that are still kind of dictating our stories for some of us today.

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So when the dating journey starts to get hard in our current time today,

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when we might get, you know, some of us would view it as passed over,

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when something ends before it really ever begins,

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when nothing seems to be moving, you're like,

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I'm on the apps, nothing's happening, nothing's happening.

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Y'all, I've been there, I understand.

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And so I'm bringing these up because these are real things that y'all are experiencing.

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But here's the reality.

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When these things happen, our subconscious doesn't reach for our identity in Christ, does it?

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Our subconscious reaches for what it knows.

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The grooves that were formed from thinking the same thing over and over and over

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for a large part of our lives.

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So those are the old lies that we talk about that were formed

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because of trauma and wounds that we went through.

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The old agreements that we made about ourselves long before we ever attended a heart work session.

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And this isn't, y'all, when I say this, this is not hopeless, okay?

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I want to be very clear about this.

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But I'm just trying to bring to the forefront the fact that

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changing the grooves in our brain and our subconscious takes time.

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It takes consistency. It takes intentionality.

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For all of us.

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from the top down. These are, even Jackie and I were talking about a lot of different

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things today and, you know, we were kind of hitting on some of this stuff as well. These

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are not character flaws in us. These are real neurological and spiritual battles happening

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at the same time. It's both and. So some of what we're experiencing is a supernatural

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spiritual battle. Because sometimes the enemy is just bombarding our minds and he's like

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hammering us. Because he doesn't want you to move forward. Some of you, the enemy is

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fighting you like crazy right now because you're making progress. You're moving forward

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and then you're wanting to give up because you're getting hit by the enemy. No! Keep

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going! Keep going! Some of you, it's like that, you know, back in the day that one picture

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that would go around where the guy was digging for the gold or the diamonds, I can't remember

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which one, and he's almost there and it shows him turning around and giving up. And it literally

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like he was almost there. That's where some of you are right now. We're in a war over

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our identity and a fight over our destiny. I believe God has destined every single one

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of you to walk into a supernatural relationship with your spirit mate. But we have to war

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for it. We have to fight for it. We have to be intentional about what are we thinking

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about and where is it leading us. Every battle that is being waged against your destiny right

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now, your future, this is more than just spirit mates. The spirit mate's the cherry on top,

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remember? But some of you all have purpose inside of you that God is trying to bring

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out to the forefront before you even meet your spirit mate. Can it come out after? Of

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course! But I'm just saying for some of you, God wants to help you get that kind of in

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place to better understand who you are and who he's called you to be and live into that.

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And then guess what's going to happen? Some of you, when you start living into that, you're

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going to look over and your spirit mate's going to be running. You're going to be like,

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Whoa, man, this feels, this feels natural. This feels like in sync. God's doing something

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here versus feeling like it has to be forced or you have to work it like a job. Like some

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of you have felt. The enemy doesn't need new material on any of us. Here's the reality.

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All he needs to do is to get us to go back to old material. So here's the thing about

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the grace tonight. This is why I want to pair this in. Grace is not just for the moment

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that you first got free. Grace is for the returning. It's for every time the enemy tries

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to convince us that we're not set free yet. That he tries to convince us that nothing

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is changing, that nothing is working. So God wants us to pull on that grace tonight and

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partner with it and receive it because heaven is open. I really believe that, that heaven

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is open tonight, that God is pouring out grace upon our hearts. He's pouring out fresh hope.

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And every time we come back, every time we recognize the drift has happened, but yet

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we turn towards truth again, that's grace working in us. That's not failure, you all.

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It's process. I can't tell you how many times I've talked with people that they're like,

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I don't know if like, literally, I think I should just give up. I don't know if I'm ever

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going to get married. I don't know if God really does have someone for me. And we just

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keep encouraging them. And we see some of these people stepping into relationships,

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some of them for the first time in a long time. Is it their spirit mate? I don't know.

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But the reality is, is there further than they were before? Some of those people would

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start to talk to people and then just constantly get triggered and not want to keep talking

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to those people at all. Anybody. Y'all. So when we can see progress, man, can we celebrate

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that some? Let's start celebrating our progress more. I think, and I'm not saying we don't

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pay attention to what's going on that's hard, but I genuinely feel like if we would celebrate

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our wins more, man, I think the enemy would be on the run. Right? Where praise is happening,

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the enemy cannot stay. Here's an activation for you. I want to get you activated and connecting

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with me in the chat and with each other. What is the thought or narrative that keeps coming

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back to you no matter how many times you think you've dealt with it? So what's the thread

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of thought or a phrase, something that you hear that happens when the hard times hit

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that narrative that keeps coming back, put those in the chat for me. I'm going to kind

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of share those as those come in. Brandon's having a breakthrough week. That's awesome.

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I don't fit anywhere. Okay. Kathleen said I don't fit anywhere. That's one.

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she's hearing. My picker is broke. Here we go again. I'm not worthy. Unworthiness. I will never

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be chosen. I'm just not enough. Relationships are hard. I'm not attractive enough to have a

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relationship. You're going to be alone. There must be something wrong with me that I've been single

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so long when my friends have gotten married. Nothing will ever change. I will be passed over.

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That's been in there a couple times tonight. This is never going to happen for me.

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I can't function as an adult with time or financial management. Nobody cares,

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including God. I don't mean enough to people. Not good enough. I never grew. Nothing changed.

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I am too much and have to lower my standards. It will never happen. I'm doing it wrong.

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No one will like me. Why continue to try? I am not consistent. I am hot or cold. I am fickle.

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Here we go. It works out for others, not for me. Things will never get better. I won't end up with

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the right person. It's going to keep going. I hope you keep putting them in there. I hope

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for those of you that added those in the chat, please make note of these things tonight for

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yourself too. We need to lean into this this week with the Lord. I'm going to give you some tools

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on what to do with it. We're not just bringing up the junk to leave it there. We're allowing

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the Lord to bring this stuff up for healing, for freedom. Here's the reality. As you guys know,

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we talk all the time for the Revealing for Healing cycle. We start to uncover not just

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the lies that we're hearing and that we believe, but what is the stuff that's all connected to

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them. So what's actually underneath this discouraging stuff that we're hearing?

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Remember, we want to get to the wound that's beneath the pattern.

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So some of these thoughts for some of you are also connected to patterns of behavior as well.

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I want you to kind of start thinking about that. You don't have to put it in the chat,

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but when you think these thoughts and you start partnering with it,

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do you have a negative behavior or habit that's attached to it? It can be different for everybody.

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And if so, I want you to jot that down on your paper as well because God wants to set you free.

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Remember, it's not about just behavior modification, okay? So it's not just like,

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oh, I recognize this behavior. I need to just stop. I need to be a good girl or a good boy.

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I need to just be better. Yeah, that's what we want, but what we want more than anything is

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internal heart change that then creates a behavior change that we can sustain by the grace of God,

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right? So discouragement in the dating journey, remember, it's rarely about the dating itself.

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I know it seems like it's just about the dating. It's just about that interaction. It's just about

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what that person said to you or did. But y'all, like even when I was in the relationship with my

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spiritual daughter's dad and I found out he was cheating on me and that all started to unravel,

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like, and it wasn't just one person. It was lots of ladies. And I just had this utter shame and

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embarrassment that entered when all that started kind of Pandora's box just flooding out of me.

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And I had what I would call probably a breakdown. I didn't know that's what was happening at that

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time. I remember just like pounding my hand on the ground and just like, God, why did you let

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this happen to me? And that felt real. And that's where I was at in that moment. But when I took

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time to really ask the Lord about that, the depth of what I felt that night, it was about what

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happened with him. But it went way back to my dad cheating on my mom and how deeply that hurt me.

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And here I was in this relationship where this person was supposed to be loving me,

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told me with his words he loved me, but like was doing all this horrible stuff that I didn't even

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know about. So remember, you know, we can have these experiences, but what is it linking to

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underneath the surface? When a man or woman says what, so like if you say kind of is what I'm

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getting to, if one of us says nothing ever works out for me, well, that's not really just about

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that relationship. It's not really just about that job. When is the first time you agreed with that

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statement? When is the first time you believed that lie that the enemy was feeding you

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and said, yeah, man, nothing ever works out for me. And you started agreeing with it and living that

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out. Maybe you're someone who says, I know you guys put a lot of stuff in the chat, so I think

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a lot of people did say this. I'm always overlooked. They pick somebody else. Here we go again.

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You know, everybody else gets a husband, but me, you know, those all kind of hang out together.

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Remember that's not about their dating profile or you guys didn't just match, this is a bigger story that's unfolding within you.

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You just haven't, like sometimes, I don't know if you guys are like me, I was just talking to Jackie.

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You know, sometimes we get bad news, y'all. Sometimes things don't go the way we want them to.

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And sometimes in the moment, life is happening so fast, it's really hard to deal with it in the moment.

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And sometimes we have to step away from our current environment and get away from it

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so that we can have time with God to unpack that thing and how we really feel about it.

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So some of you, I really want to encourage you to get out of your current environment.

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So maybe it's go on a weekend retreat where it's just like you go to a cabin and you just have time alone with God.

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Because for some of you, those are the kind of things you need to do to continue to move towards getting unstuck

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because you need to get away from the busyness of life and all of the distraction, all the things that are hindering you

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from really centering in and hearing what God is speaking to you.

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When we partner with, maybe I'm just meant to be alone.

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Or, I've heard people say it, it's just easier to be single.

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Y'all, we've had people get married in this community.

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You know, they prayed and prayed and prayed, and then they have their spirit mate.

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And then they say to us, maybe I should have just stayed single.

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It was actually easier.

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Well, praise the Lord, some of those people, we were able to coach them.

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They're doing better now.

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But even saying that, after you get into marriage, there's a bigger thing happening there.

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Y'all, life is hard.

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Relationships are going to be hard sometimes.

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But there's going to be so much good, too.

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If we have a propensity to focus on the negative, guess what?

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When we're single, it's going to happen when you're married, too.

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So let's deal with it now.

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Let's get to the root of it now so that when you get married, you can enjoy that.

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And when the tough days come, you guys can work through it together.

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So, if we have these wounds that say, maybe I'm better off being alone.

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Maybe it's easier being single.

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Again, these are wounds talking.

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These are lies with roots.

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Remember, we want to track the root system going all the way back before any man or woman ever had a chance to disappoint you.

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So tonight, here's your question.

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I'm going to keep giving you guys little questions along the way.

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I want to ask you to look underneath of the discouragement you've been feeling lately.

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And I want you to ask yourself, what does this remind me of?

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So, for example, I kind of gave you guys a big example from my own life when I went through that big disappointment.

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It reminded me of my dad betraying my mom.

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And that's a big example.

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You can do this with little stuff, too.

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Maybe you hear a certain dialogue regarding connecting.

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I never make any friends.

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I never have friends.

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Why can't I make any friends?

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You guys, we hear this all the time, too.

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The enemy is trying to isolate people.

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But you know what?

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I'm realizing this more and more and more.

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We can only be isolated if we choose to partner with isolation.

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It's true.

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And the enemy is trying to get people to stay in their homes more, be less connected to each other.

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We don't go out.

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And even when we do, you know, we walk into crowds of people.

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And what happens typically?

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A lot of people face insecurity, right?

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Happens all the time.

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So let's get to the root of all of these things.

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Again, take them one at a time.

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You don't have to face them all at once.

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But what do these things remind you of?

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When's the first time you walked into a room and you felt insecure?

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Did something happen?

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Did someone make fun of you?

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Did your parent say something to you mean before you even left the house about your outfit?

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You know, these are the things that really, like, we go into life and we're just carrying all this stuff with us still.

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But in the current moment, we have these big, intense reactions to our current situation.

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But again, that intense reaction is just saying, hey, there's a signal here.

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There's something else that needs dealt with underneath the surface.

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I have three more questions for you.

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And these are kind of longer.

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I'll put these up in the group so that you guys can grab them later.

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So you can just listen to them for now.

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And I'll try to do the post tonight before I go to bed so that you can have them quickly.

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Sorry, I just saw a comment come up.

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Question number one.

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Who told you first that you weren't enough?

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Or you weren't chosen?

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Or you weren't worth staying for?

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So who's the first person that ever communicated that to you, whether with their words or

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their actions or behavior?

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Who told you that you weren't enough, you weren't chosen, you weren't worth staying

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for?

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Number two.

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What did you decide about yourself because of what happened to you?

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Or what was never given to you?

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Some of you, your trauma isn't what someone did to you, it's what they withheld from you.

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My first marriage, my ex-husband withheld love from me on a regular basis.

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Withheld intimacy.

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It was very abusive.

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So it was not affirming, tore down all the time.

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And so some of you, you know, there's been situations like that, and you've done a lot

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of healing, but if you struggle to believe that men are good, or that women are kind

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or good, y'all, there's probably stuff still there from those old relationships that were

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hurtful.

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Number three.

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Where is that decision still running in your life right now?

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In how you show up, in how you pull back, maybe you self-sabotage, you get a little

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close to people and you start talking to them, but then all of a sudden you have all the

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reasons that surface of why you shouldn't move forward with that, and it's one person

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after another after another, you all, that's self-sabotage.

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Maybe some of you are settling, you're starting to get into situationships and guys are dropping

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little tiny breadcrumbs that they're really not wanting a relationship, but you just convince

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yourself that they do, and you keep going.

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We don't want to do that.

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Same thing for the guys.

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You don't want to be with a woman that isn't going to be kind to you and doesn't really

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want a healthy relationship.

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We don't have to settle.

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God has good things for us and he will help us walk into those things.

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Genesis three connection.

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I want to connect you guys back to the Adam and Eve story.

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I talk about this a lot in my coaching.

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You know, after Adam and Eve sinned, God didn't go into the garden and say, what did you do?

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He didn't come in with shame.

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What did he say to them?

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He said, who told you that you were naked?

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He was getting to their identity.

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And that's how God talks to us as well.

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So I want you to hear that tonight.

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So this is still his question to us.

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Who told you?

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And are you still listening to those people?

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Or are you listening to the heart of the father for you?

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What he has to say about you and your future.

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And again, here's where grace comes back in because notice what God did after he asked

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that question.

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You guys might want to go and read Genesis three tonight or in the morning.

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After he asked them, who told you you were naked?

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He didn't leave them there in their shame.

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You know what it says he did?

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It says he covered them.

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He made a way for them.

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He extended grace to people who had just made the worst decision of their lives.

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This is the God that we still serve today.

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The wounds underneath of your discouragement are not too deep for God.

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They're not too big for him.

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They're not too far past his grace to reach.

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He can go into every area of our heart and lives at any moment.

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And he is a God who redeems our timeline.

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So we want to reconnect to who God says we are as we kind of keep moving through the

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content tonight.

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I am going to open the heartwork seat here in a little bit.

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So just want you all to be kind of preparing your hearts for that.

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But God wants us to reconnect with who he says we are.

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What is the identity that he speaks over us?

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So this isn't just a declaration exercise tonight.

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You guys do know I believe in, you know, taking the word of God and declaring it over

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our lives.

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But I'm not just a name it claim it person.

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I really have grown a lot even in how I use declarations.

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I want to experience it in my heart first.

414
00:34:53.679 --> 00:34:57.480
Like I want that shift to start to get down in here deep.

415
00:34:57.480 --> 00:35:00.000
And then I am empowered by the grace of God.

416
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.760
and the spirit, not only just to say a thing, but I believe it.

417
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:05.940
I have, there's that connection happening.

418
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:10.740
And so for some of you, but back in the day, when I didn't understand how to do

419
00:35:10.740 --> 00:35:14.520
that, I started with what I, what I knew.

420
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:17.560
I declared it, even if I didn't feel it down here.

421
00:35:17.560 --> 00:35:20.600
So it's all, it's all beneficial.

422
00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:21.420
Okay.

423
00:35:22.040 --> 00:35:25.600
Declaring the truth of God out loud over yourself is never going to hurt you.

424
00:35:25.600 --> 00:35:27.880
You all, it's never going to hurt you.

425
00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:32.720
But for some of you, you kind of, I've heard even people saying it on prayer

426
00:35:32.720 --> 00:35:34.800
calls, I'm declaring this stuff.

427
00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:37.000
I'm declaring it, but nothing's changing.

428
00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:39.400
Well here, that's, that's part of the problem.

429
00:35:40.120 --> 00:35:41.680
Do y'all see the contradiction there?

430
00:35:42.600 --> 00:35:46.400
You're saying that you're saying the word of God out loud, but you're

431
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:47.800
partnering with that.

432
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:48.880
It's of no effect.

433
00:35:51.080 --> 00:35:51.920
Think about that.

434
00:35:53.000 --> 00:35:57.520
Every time we say I'm, I'm declaring the word of God and nothing is happening.

435
00:35:58.360 --> 00:36:02.120
We're actually saying that we don't believe that God's word is true because

436
00:36:02.120 --> 00:36:08.280
God says in his word that when the word of God goes out, guess what?

437
00:36:08.320 --> 00:36:11.880
It accomplishes the thing that it was sent forth to do.

438
00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:18.440
So whether we feel it or see it doesn't mean it's not working.

439
00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:23.240
So let's really watch what we're saying regarding what we're declaring over our

440
00:36:23.240 --> 00:36:25.880
lives regarding the word of God and its power.

441
00:36:26.200 --> 00:36:27.920
And again, none of this is to be shameful.

442
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:31.560
I just want you guys, I want you to, I want myself, I'm speaking to myself some

443
00:36:31.560 --> 00:36:37.080
too, because it's so easy sometimes to just be like, oh, this isn't working.

444
00:36:37.680 --> 00:36:41.200
I'm praying for my kids and I'm praying for salvation or I'm praying for their

445
00:36:41.200 --> 00:36:42.360
lives to turn around.

446
00:36:42.640 --> 00:36:45.840
That's one of the things for me lately, the enemy has been trying to convince me

447
00:36:46.120 --> 00:36:48.400
that my prayers are of no effect.

448
00:36:48.640 --> 00:36:49.400
What?

449
00:36:51.040 --> 00:36:54.960
Why would I even think for a second to agree with that?

450
00:36:56.520 --> 00:36:58.280
But we do it about our spirit mates too.

451
00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:01.960
We do it about, you know, our jobs or whatever it is we're, we have need of

452
00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:03.080
that we're praying for.

453
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:07.400
And that's where, you know, the Bible says not to be double-minded, right?

454
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:10.920
All right.

455
00:37:10.920 --> 00:37:14.880
So this isn't just a declaration exercise, but this is about a returning,

456
00:37:15.080 --> 00:37:16.600
returning to our identity.

457
00:37:17.120 --> 00:37:19.120
So don't let this become a performance.

458
00:37:19.120 --> 00:37:23.760
I'm not asking you guys again, this isn't about being on good behavior, saying

459
00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:28.800
something that sounds really good, but this is about you really meeting with God

460
00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:33.200
tonight, regarding what's going on in your heart and kind of settling that a

461
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:33.720
little bit.

462
00:37:36.480 --> 00:37:37.680
So what do you need tonight?

463
00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:43.040
I want you to think about it.

464
00:37:43.080 --> 00:37:44.720
What do you need from God tonight?

465
00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:46.200
I would love for you to put that in the chat.

466
00:37:48.760 --> 00:37:52.360
What's something you just, you really need him like, God, I need you to come

467
00:37:52.360 --> 00:37:53.720
through in this area for me.

468
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:57.080
Where do you need breakthrough?

469
00:37:59.640 --> 00:38:01.600
As those come to you, go ahead and put those in the chat.

470
00:38:04.040 --> 00:38:08.680
And as you do that, I want you to understand that tonight is about you coming home to

471
00:38:08.680 --> 00:38:14.800
yourself as well as about you reconnecting to God, but converging with your own self,

472
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:18.680
like who God originally created you to be.

473
00:38:20.600 --> 00:38:22.520
And he created us to be free.

474
00:38:23.200 --> 00:38:27.960
He created us to be connected to him and believe in who he says he is.

475
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:31.000
He created us ultimately for relationship.

476
00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:37.200
And so it's a coming home to ourselves, connecting with him.

477
00:38:37.520 --> 00:38:41.800
And there is a difference you all in knowing our identity in Christ in our heads.

478
00:38:42.160 --> 00:38:45.800
It's kind of like what I was talking about just a few minutes ago and living from it.

479
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:51.400
You know, like really knowing my identity in Christ in my heart has changed

480
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:52.280
everything.

481
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:57.280
I told the ladies on heartwork last night.

482
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:05.080
I still will never forget the day that the shift came in my heart when I really

483
00:39:05.080 --> 00:39:08.800
finally believed I was a bride and I had been married before.

484
00:39:11.040 --> 00:39:15.480
But after being divorced and walking through what I went through, I I wasn't really

485
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:20.760
sure. And I had to admit that to myself for some of you gentlemen, you need to really

486
00:39:20.760 --> 00:39:25.680
ask yourself, do I really believe that I am called to be a groom, that I am a groom

487
00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:28.760
and that I can walk into being a husband again?

488
00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:36.240
Because some of the men, you don't believe it, you think you have to be perfect before

489
00:39:36.240 --> 00:39:39.440
you can be in a relationship, and that just isn't true.

490
00:39:43.680 --> 00:39:48.560
So we can know every truth on the page of the Bible and still wake up every morning

491
00:39:48.560 --> 00:39:50.920
and make a decision out of our wounds.

492
00:39:54.440 --> 00:40:00.040
We can declare I'm chosen and then spend the whole day collecting evidence.

493
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.520
that were not chosen. Isn't that crazy? We all do it though. I do it too in different ways.

494
00:40:08.640 --> 00:40:13.600
So we're all in this together tonight. We're all taking a shift step forward. That's what I'm

495
00:40:13.600 --> 00:40:19.040
saying to you. I'm doing this with you all tonight. So instead of us just declaring truth,

496
00:40:19.040 --> 00:40:25.600
I want to invite you to receive the truth. There's a difference in the heart posture.

497
00:40:25.600 --> 00:40:32.560
Do you believe that the son who died for you, Jesus Christ, to set you free?

498
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:41.680
I love Jesus. Do you believe that he really set you free?

499
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:49.120
Do you believe that he really died so that you could walk into abundance in every area of your

500
00:40:49.120 --> 00:40:55.200
life? And that abundance comes out of the love relationship that you have with the father.

501
00:40:55.920 --> 00:40:57.920
Do you believe that he really set you free?

502
00:41:01.920 --> 00:41:04.960
Y'all, the abundance that I've experienced in my life the last few years,

503
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:12.400
100%, it is so much sweeter because of where I've been at in my relationship with the Lord.

504
00:41:16.160 --> 00:41:22.400
Receiving God's grace, receiving God's blessings requires surrender first.

505
00:41:22.720 --> 00:41:24.560
That's why I asked you to put it in the chat.

506
00:41:27.200 --> 00:41:30.400
It's not surrendering that as in, I'm never going to get this,

507
00:41:31.200 --> 00:41:34.640
but it's surrendering it in the posture of, God, I trust you,

508
00:41:36.720 --> 00:41:41.760
that you love me, and you're not a man that you would lie, and you're going to come through for

509
00:41:41.760 --> 00:41:51.280
me. So receiving is a grace posture. Remember, we can't earn grace. We can't perform our way

510
00:41:51.280 --> 00:41:57.200
into grace. We just have to open our hands and take what is already being extended to us.

511
00:41:58.560 --> 00:42:07.040
Remember John 1.16, grace upon grace. God isn't running out. God is not withholding from us.

512
00:42:07.600 --> 00:42:11.200
He's not waiting for us to get it all together first. Y'all, I remember

513
00:42:13.680 --> 00:42:17.840
some vivid things from my journey. I don't remember everything from my heart healing walk,

514
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:23.840
but I remember some very specific moments. I remember being in Lexington. I was in my bathroom

515
00:42:23.840 --> 00:42:28.800
and just having this whole conversation with God about why I wasn't ready. Because then when I

516
00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:32.480
started feeling like God gave me a dream, he told me my spirit mate was coming. Then y'all,

517
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:39.120
I started freaking out. Like, oh crap, I'm not really ready. God, I need to lose like 50 pounds.

518
00:42:39.120 --> 00:42:42.640
I didn't even know that I really needed to lose that, but that's how I felt in that moment. Like,

519
00:42:42.640 --> 00:42:49.760
wait a minute, I got to get some more stuff done. Then God just kind of started talking to me like,

520
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:56.400
yeah, that's great. Work out, get healthy, but like don't think you can't receive

521
00:42:57.600 --> 00:43:02.160
the person I'm sending you if you're not perfect. If you're not, you know, got everything tied up in

522
00:43:02.160 --> 00:43:08.000
a bow, everything perfect. Some of you, you know, ladies, guys are going to be working on their

523
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:13.520
finances. I'm not saying pick somebody that just is irresponsible, vice versa. Guys, same thing.

524
00:43:14.400 --> 00:43:19.280
Sometimes people go through some really hard crap and it takes a really long time to get out of that

525
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:23.920
crap, but if they're being responsible with it and they're working with financial counselors

526
00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:28.560
to work on that stuff, hey y'all, that's some good stuff. That shows some commitment.

527
00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:34.640
I don't know why I said that. Maybe that's for somebody because that was not

528
00:43:34.640 --> 00:43:41.040
anything about my heart work tonight, but those are real things I faced. I really felt like I had

529
00:43:41.040 --> 00:43:46.560
to have like perfection, but see perfectionism is something that has always been a struggle for me.

530
00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:51.920
So of course that would rear its head when I was in the dating process or beginning to date

531
00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:57.600
and the enemy would try to use that to convince me that I wasn't ready enough.

532
00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:01.600
The grace is already here, and so tonight it's about whether or not

533
00:44:02.560 --> 00:44:06.880
you can receive it. And for some of you, you're like, I'm trying to receive it.

534
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:10.000
I'm trying, but see that's the striving talking.

535
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:16.960
So I want you to kind of like, we're going to do this together. If you're not comfortable,

536
00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:20.000
you don't have to do it, but if you're comfortable enough to close your eyes,

537
00:44:21.680 --> 00:44:26.320
I'm going to ask you another question and then we're going to sit in silence for 60 seconds.

538
00:44:27.600 --> 00:44:39.280
Okay. Lord, what have I been believing about myself that isn't from you?

539
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:10.400
Okay, I want you all to write on your paper anything that you heard.

540
00:45:10.400 --> 00:45:12.920
If you don't have paper with you, you can put it in the chat if you're comfortable enough

541
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:14.520
to put it in the chat.

542
00:45:14.520 --> 00:45:16.480
What did you hear?

543
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:22.880
What surfaced for you to the question, Lord, what have I been believing about myself that

544
00:45:22.880 --> 00:45:31.960
isn't from you?

545
00:45:31.960 --> 00:45:39.320
This is where we get real with ourselves, right?

546
00:45:39.320 --> 00:45:46.040
You know, some of us will only let people get, you know, this close, like, we won't

547
00:45:46.040 --> 00:45:48.800
let them all the way in.

548
00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:56.520
And that is because you're really afraid to risk your heart with love.

549
00:45:56.520 --> 00:46:00.520
And so if you're someone that that's something you keep facing, like you, you let people

550
00:46:00.520 --> 00:46:04.280
get a certain far in and then you're like, Oh, no, not for me.

551
00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:05.520
And you kind of move on.

552
00:46:05.520 --> 00:46:08.600
And you just keep doing that same pattern over and over.

553
00:46:08.600 --> 00:46:12.280
Most likely you're afraid to love again.

554
00:46:12.280 --> 00:46:13.800
You're afraid of the risk.

555
00:46:14.320 --> 00:46:20.800
But God is a God who's able to walk with you through whatever it is you experience.

556
00:46:20.800 --> 00:46:27.880
And what if, what if you let that person in, that's a healthy person, and it actually goes

557
00:46:27.880 --> 00:46:31.880
great.

558
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:37.880
See that's the thing some again, we go back to like, sometimes we just focus on the negative

559
00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:40.160
and the fear, right?

560
00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:44.200
And the fear is what stops us but perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do

561
00:46:44.200 --> 00:46:45.200
with torment.

562
00:46:45.200 --> 00:46:51.880
I'm going to keep going.

563
00:46:51.880 --> 00:46:53.800
The heartwork isn't starting over.

564
00:46:53.800 --> 00:46:56.320
I want you guys to remember that.

565
00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:01.040
What what Jackie and I always want for everybody in this community, even if people come and

566
00:47:01.040 --> 00:47:05.320
then they their season changes and they move on, is that we will learn how to use these

567
00:47:05.320 --> 00:47:09.040
tools for our whole lives.

568
00:47:09.040 --> 00:47:12.120
Because it works, heartwork works.

569
00:47:12.120 --> 00:47:18.280
When I'm having something hard going on, you all I go back to these things.

570
00:47:18.280 --> 00:47:22.720
It's something that can help us be grounded and centered.

571
00:47:22.720 --> 00:47:26.640
So before we move into the heartwork seat tonight, I just want to touch on a few more

572
00:47:26.640 --> 00:47:28.560
things.

573
00:47:28.560 --> 00:47:32.520
The fact that you're here that you showed up tonight that you're catching the replay

574
00:47:32.520 --> 00:47:37.240
because I know some but some people are working tonight, or you had family things, no matter

575
00:47:37.240 --> 00:47:41.960
what, no matter how you're hearing this, that you would remember, it's really amazing that

576
00:47:41.960 --> 00:47:46.260
you're a part of this community that you're still here, you're still reaching forward,

577
00:47:46.260 --> 00:47:48.600
you guys are still trying.

578
00:47:48.600 --> 00:47:51.680
And that is not weakness.

579
00:47:51.680 --> 00:47:55.640
Now some of you, I do want to say I feel like the Lord's wanting me to bring some balance

580
00:47:55.640 --> 00:47:56.720
here.

581
00:47:56.720 --> 00:48:03.320
Some of you are hiding still, okay?

582
00:48:03.320 --> 00:48:05.960
And God is saying he wants you to come out of hiding.

583
00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:09.360
He wants you to get back in the game.

584
00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:17.480
And this isn't just with romantic relationships, some of you are even hiding from making friends.

585
00:48:17.480 --> 00:48:23.280
Because it feels easier to stay inside, so to speak.

586
00:48:23.280 --> 00:48:26.480
And God is calling you, he wants to bring some friends into your life, he wants to bring

587
00:48:26.480 --> 00:48:29.240
joy, he wants to bring new adventures.

588
00:48:29.240 --> 00:48:34.000
Some of you God is nudging you to travel, and you just keep coming up with all the reasons

589
00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:38.680
that you can't do it.

590
00:48:38.680 --> 00:48:45.240
So let's maybe start saying, okay, what's one step I can take towards taking that trip,

591
00:48:45.240 --> 00:48:49.640
and then do that thing.

592
00:48:49.640 --> 00:48:52.000
The enemy wants you to interpret the drift.

593
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:55.520
Interpret the drift we were talking about as proof that this just doesn't work.

594
00:48:55.520 --> 00:48:57.760
The heart work that I've been doing, it just doesn't work.

595
00:48:57.760 --> 00:49:04.800
I'm too broken, I'm too far gone, I'm too stuck, and these are all lies.

596
00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:08.080
See that's the thing, that's even a lie that the enemy is getting some of you guys in a

597
00:49:08.080 --> 00:49:09.080
loop.

598
00:49:09.080 --> 00:49:12.080
He just has you looping around, that this just isn't working, I'm just too broken.

599
00:49:12.080 --> 00:49:18.520
I just, you know, some of you are like, I'm not even attractive, what?

600
00:49:18.520 --> 00:49:20.520
Where did that come from?

601
00:49:21.040 --> 00:49:23.720
Again, these are these inner dialogues.

602
00:49:23.720 --> 00:49:25.360
Somebody said that.

603
00:49:25.360 --> 00:49:28.560
Somebody said something to those of you that believe that kind of stuff.

604
00:49:28.560 --> 00:49:34.640
At some point, somebody made a comment about your looks, or you saw it somewhere, you compared

605
00:49:34.640 --> 00:49:39.160
yourself to someone on a TV or in a magazine, and the enemy lied to you, and you believed

606
00:49:39.160 --> 00:49:40.800
it, and you partnered with it.

607
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:44.760
It's not always what someone said, but a lot of the times it is.

608
00:49:44.760 --> 00:49:48.560
So where did that come from?

609
00:49:48.600 --> 00:49:53.520
You don't have to go back and redo everything, but remember it's kind of like a restarting.

610
00:49:53.520 --> 00:49:57.360
You know, it doesn't mean that nothing we did before didn't work, it means that you're

611
00:49:57.360 --> 00:49:59.360
just continuing to move forward.

612
00:49:59.360 --> 00:50:00.080
You don't have to start over.

613
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.840
back at square one. You don't have to shame yourself for the season you've been in. If you've

614
00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:08.000
been discouraged and you've been kind of hanging out there, you don't need to shame yourself about

615
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:16.560
that. Grace and God are not asking you to do that. God isn't even asking you to earn your way back.

616
00:50:17.520 --> 00:50:24.080
He's just saying, hey, I'm here with you and I'm walking with you. Grace meets you exactly where

617
00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:33.760
you are. You are enough. So let's just move forward from here. Limitations 322 through

618
00:50:33.760 --> 00:50:40.480
23 reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. They're not recycled. They're not

619
00:50:40.480 --> 00:50:44.320
rationed. So they're not like you only get a little bit. Remember I talked about that earlier.

620
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:53.200
It's new. That's grace upon grace in real time. So every single day he's extending fresh grace to us.

621
00:50:53.200 --> 00:50:58.800
So if you had a bad day yesterday or today, y'all tomorrow's new, it's a new day.

622
00:51:01.280 --> 00:51:06.800
And remember, I love, this is like one of my favorite things to talk about is we're not who

623
00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:12.800
we used to be. Like I'm not even who I was yesterday. Y'all I've been practicing Spanish

624
00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:19.920
for 124 days straight. I'm so excited about this. I can't wait to actually have full conversations

625
00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:23.360
with people. I'm still a ways off from that, but I know this is such a small thing, but you know

626
00:51:23.360 --> 00:51:29.840
what? I, I feel confidence coming in me because I'm learning this language of, I mean, I took it

627
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:35.920
in high school. I took it for multiple semesters in college. I always felt like God was asking me to

628
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:39.200
learn how to speak multiple languages. And then at one point I just quit.

629
00:51:40.960 --> 00:51:45.440
And then I tried to pick it up a couple, you know, gosh, back when I was living in Lexington.

630
00:51:45.440 --> 00:51:49.280
And then I forget what happened and I quit again, but this time y'all I'm sticking with it.

631
00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:56.640
We live in Fort Myers. There are tons of people that speak, you know, Spanish here and a lot of

632
00:51:56.640 --> 00:52:03.360
ethnic and y'all after I get this one down, I think, I think I'm going to start to learn, uh,

633
00:52:03.360 --> 00:52:07.520
try to learn Vietnamese because there's a lot of people here that speak those languages as well.

634
00:52:07.520 --> 00:52:15.520
Why am I saying that to you? Well, because you know what? 124 days ago, I was really rusty.

635
00:52:15.520 --> 00:52:20.960
I couldn't remember hardly anything in Spanish and now I've grown and I'm starting to understand

636
00:52:20.960 --> 00:52:26.960
a little bit. Sometimes they talk so fast. I'm like, whoa, slow down. But you know, here's the

637
00:52:26.960 --> 00:52:33.680
thing. There's other things I'm, I'm doing too. I started some new things like reading about like

638
00:52:33.680 --> 00:52:38.000
trauma informed stuff. I'm just trying to build on the skills that I've been gaining already.

639
00:52:38.960 --> 00:52:44.480
And when I do that, guess what? I can bring new information to us, right? So if I can do stuff

640
00:52:44.480 --> 00:52:52.400
to grow, you guys can do stuff too, but it's whether or not we choose to do it. And again,

641
00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:58.240
there's no shame if you choose not to, but I just want us to shift out of blaming God for everything.

642
00:53:01.120 --> 00:53:07.440
Let's enjoy our lives. Let's develop a new skill. What if I'm just saying, I'm just putting this out

643
00:53:07.440 --> 00:53:15.920
there. What if you meet someone because of the new skill you're developing who knows your spirit

644
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:22.560
mate? This is the thing. If God is nudging you to do something, let's not ignore that thing. Yeah.

645
00:53:22.560 --> 00:53:28.640
Fishing. If you love fishing or you want to try fishing, I would absolutely go do that thing.

646
00:53:29.520 --> 00:53:34.640
I love fishing by the way. Haven't done in a long time, but yeah, like these are awesome things.

647
00:53:35.200 --> 00:53:40.160
I hope this is stirring things up in you all that you want to go do. And why are we waiting?

648
00:53:43.040 --> 00:53:46.240
Let's take action. And that wasn't in my notes either, but that felt really good.

649
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:50.720
All right. So we are not who we used to be. We're not even who we were yesterday. That's

650
00:53:50.720 --> 00:53:55.920
where I was at. So returning is not failing. Returning remember is actually heartwork.

651
00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:00.240
We're returning. We're kind of recentering tonight. Like God, who do you say that I am?

652
00:54:01.120 --> 00:54:02.880
God, what do you have for me?

653
00:54:05.680 --> 00:54:11.200
God, I believe you have a spirit mate. Help me to stop saying negative things about the process I'm

654
00:54:11.200 --> 00:54:20.160
in and partner with your truth instead. A lifestyle of forgiveness, surrender and repentance means we

655
00:54:20.160 --> 00:54:28.480
will, we will need to come back. You all over and over and over again. It's not a, it's not this

656
00:54:28.880 --> 00:54:34.400
like, you know, this obstacle in our course all the time. It's, this is just a part of the process.

657
00:54:36.320 --> 00:54:43.440
So if a guy or a lady is mean to you all on the apps, I'm really sorry about that, but let's not

658
00:54:43.440 --> 00:54:49.360
get all bent out of shape about it. Y'all, I had a guy ask me if I wanted to see his wiener.

659
00:54:50.880 --> 00:54:54.320
Legit. I'm the one that Jackie talks about when she tells that story.

660
00:54:54.320 --> 00:54:59.920
And when I got mad, he tried to act like he didn't mean what he said and sent me a picture of a wiener.

661
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.440
dog and try to like make me feel dumb. Nope. Yes, I was really mad. I told Jackie about it. I had to

662
00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:12.240
call her. She helped me and she's just like, Bethany, we'll just lock him and move forward.

663
00:55:13.120 --> 00:55:20.480
I was like, oh, you're right. I don't know that guy anything. That guy blew up my phone all night

664
00:55:20.480 --> 00:55:25.440
when I was on an event because I just quit talking to him because I was just like, whatever, dude.

665
00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:32.320
And I got on an event for our community. Two hours later, got off and my phone just,

666
00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:37.680
I mean, I literally, it was nutso, you all. So I did. I blocked and just moved on.

667
00:55:37.680 --> 00:55:41.200
And there were some other things. That guy actually went to my church. You know,

668
00:55:41.200 --> 00:55:45.520
I went to a really big church and he sought me out there. It was really creepy,

669
00:55:45.520 --> 00:55:48.160
but you know what I did? I stood up for myself.

670
00:55:48.160 --> 00:55:56.080
And you know what? The enemy couldn't keep bothering me with that person anymore.

671
00:55:57.040 --> 00:56:01.840
And I was kind the whole time, even when he wasn't being kind. And that's what I want you all. It

672
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:06.400
doesn't mean we let people walk all over us, but I just, again, I guess I'm saying this because

673
00:56:06.400 --> 00:56:10.080
I feel like some of us get really stuck in, man, this person was really crappy.

674
00:56:10.960 --> 00:56:16.080
Well, we face that all over the place. There's a lot of broken people, but we can be a healthy

675
00:56:16.080 --> 00:56:21.760
person, can't we? And we can know that, Hey, you know what? That guy was just a stepping stone.

676
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:24.880
And you know, it's this funny story I can tell all the time now.

677
00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:30.480
But you know what? I encountered a lot of really great guys.

678
00:56:31.360 --> 00:56:36.080
I really did. Even guys that didn't know Jesus yet. There were some really nice guys.

679
00:56:37.840 --> 00:56:41.200
And that's what I chose to focus on more.

680
00:56:41.600 --> 00:56:44.240
So what is your mind? Where is it leading you?

681
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:48.320
You know, is it leading you down the road of negativity all the time?

682
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:55.120
Or are you partnering with positive things and life-giving things?

683
00:56:57.120 --> 00:57:01.520
So what is one thing? Some of you guys already started putting things in the chat,

684
00:57:01.520 --> 00:57:05.280
so it happened organically, which is awesome. But if you didn't yet,

685
00:57:05.280 --> 00:57:09.280
what is one thing you are choosing to receive fresh grace for tonight?

686
00:57:09.280 --> 00:57:13.600
So maybe it's romantic relationship. Maybe it's dating on the apps. Maybe it's,

687
00:57:13.600 --> 00:57:16.720
you know, a new skill that you want to learn. So if you haven't put it in the chat,

688
00:57:16.720 --> 00:57:22.080
go ahead and do that for me. And we're going to open up for the heartwork seat here.

689
00:57:22.080 --> 00:57:26.080
So if you want to get in the heartwork seat tonight, you can go ahead and raise your hand.

690
00:57:26.080 --> 00:57:33.040
I'll get through as many people as I can tonight, but we will do a hard stop at like 930, 940

691
00:57:33.840 --> 00:57:40.240
at the latest because I got to reserve some strength because I'm coaching Simbas tomorrow

692
00:57:40.240 --> 00:57:45.280
night and I coached last night, tonight and tomorrow. So I'm trying to pace myself really

693
00:57:45.280 --> 00:57:49.840
well here. All right. So I'm seeing some things, positive attitude, fresh grace to move forth.

694
00:57:51.200 --> 00:57:57.040
Fourth and may, yes, may the fourth be with you, Sarah. My husband will love that that was in here.

695
00:57:57.040 --> 00:58:04.960
He's a big Star Wars fan. Fresh grace for dating on the apps. I have had no success. Okay. So

696
00:58:04.960 --> 00:58:12.000
Allison, in Jesus name, before you get on, start declaring, God, thank you so much that you're

697
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:16.640
going to draw really healthy men to me and that you're going to help me know the right apps to be

698
00:58:16.640 --> 00:58:21.520
on the right connections to make. Just continue. And I know it might not always feel like it's

699
00:58:21.520 --> 00:58:26.320
working, but remember what I said, if we're declaring positive things, then we know that's

700
00:58:26.320 --> 00:58:30.400
at work and God will lead us to, you know, I'm already with my spirit mate, but that was what I

701
00:58:30.400 --> 00:58:35.440
prayed all the time. God, thank you for leading me to my spirit mate and leading my spirit mate to me.

702
00:58:35.440 --> 00:58:40.400
And I would just pray that before I would even get on the apps and lo and behold, I met Brian

703
00:58:40.400 --> 00:58:44.320
on an app. You guys, I said I was never going to get back on apps and God brought me Brian through

704
00:58:44.320 --> 00:58:49.920
an app. It works. Romantic relationships. I have grace upon grace, dating on the apps, meeting men

705
00:58:49.920 --> 00:58:54.320
in real life. Yeah. If you need to practice, awesome. Asking God for that. All right. A lot of

706
00:58:54.320 --> 00:58:58.640
really great things in here. Keep putting those up. I would like to earn an extra income doing

707
00:58:58.640 --> 00:59:04.080
something I love. Praying before, okay, so she's saying that. Yep. Fresh grace for my job and

708
00:59:04.080 --> 00:59:10.240
believing for my daughter's healing. All right. Awesome. These are so good, you all. I hope you're

709
00:59:10.240 --> 00:59:15.280
taking notes for yourself to put these into your journals so that you don't forget this night,

710
00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:19.520
because there's going to come a day where the enemy could even be tomorrow. You know, he comes

711
00:59:19.520 --> 00:59:26.080
quick. He tries to steal the seeds really fast. Because if it's not healthy soil for that seed to

712
00:59:26.080 --> 00:59:30.720
take root, to grow, well, then it's easier for him to snatch those up. So, you guys, make sure

713
00:59:30.720 --> 00:59:35.440
you jot this stuff down so you don't lose the breakthrough that you're hopefully feeling. I

714
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:43.360
think some of you are, because I see you guys in the chat. Allison, praise the Lord. God's changing

715
00:59:43.360 --> 00:59:50.800
your mind about some things. She said, I almost quit the program until tonight. See, God has our

716
00:59:50.800 --> 00:59:56.960
number. You know, he wants us to feel his presence. And I'm so glad that you came tonight. Y'all,

717
00:59:56.960 --> 00:59:59.920
we're cheering you on all the time. Even when I'm not on

718
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.480
lives. I'm praying for you all. I'm praying for people in this community that I don't even know.

719
01:00:05.200 --> 01:00:09.840
There's people on the men's side that I've never met, but God's doing some great stuff,

720
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:14.960
and he's not finished yet. What he did for me, he'll do for you. All right, Abby,

721
01:00:14.960 --> 01:00:16.320
I would love to hear what you have to say.

722
01:00:23.120 --> 01:00:29.600
Thanks for the information. I feel encouraged. I think I'm struggling with two things today. One is

723
01:00:29.600 --> 01:00:37.680
my job situation. Because I was doing one job, I feel like God is leading me to

724
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:47.520
grow in another area in my life now, like another career area. But when the first job people,

725
01:00:47.520 --> 01:00:57.600
they gather together, I'm not included. I still feel like, am I doing the wrong thing now? Am I

726
01:00:57.600 --> 01:01:03.440
going the right direction? And a similar, like, there was like, someone want to introduce me a

727
01:01:03.440 --> 01:01:09.760
guy. I talked, even from the first time, you know, I look at his picture, I kind of already know this

728
01:01:09.760 --> 01:01:17.760
is not the right voice. But then I still, you know, talk to him. We text a little bit, and we

729
01:01:17.760 --> 01:01:23.920
talked on phone. And today, I just had a video call, kind of confirmed, you know, I can even

730
01:01:23.920 --> 01:01:29.680
list the bullet points, like, spiritually, I don't think we align. He doesn't even read the

731
01:01:29.680 --> 01:01:34.080
Bible himself. He's like, I don't, I don't understand Bible. When I read it, I have to

732
01:01:34.080 --> 01:01:40.560
have someone with me. And I want to ask, like, do you feel God is leading you to make big life

733
01:01:40.560 --> 01:01:46.800
decisions? He's like, Oh, I don't know how to answer this kind of question. I make decision

734
01:01:46.800 --> 01:01:53.440
when I have peace. So and also, the topics he talks about, I'm not interested. He's kind of

735
01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:59.680
nerdy, he keeps talking about his stuff. And then I kind of like lost, like, I don't know what he's

736
01:01:59.680 --> 01:02:05.600
talking about. And he's not curious about me, he keeps talking about himself. So I don't think

737
01:02:05.600 --> 01:02:11.440
anything matched. But I just told him, I don't think we would be a good match. Again, you know,

738
01:02:11.440 --> 01:02:18.160
the similar stuff. Yeah. So let me ask you a question. You started with people gathered

739
01:02:18.160 --> 01:02:22.240
together. And sometimes you don't feel included. I think you were saying that's at work. And then

740
01:02:22.240 --> 01:02:28.160
you started talking about this guy. So what is your question regarding heartwork tonight?

741
01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:38.720
Oh, my question, it will be like, it seems sometimes I'm very clear about my choice.

742
01:02:39.200 --> 01:02:48.000
But when I don't see a good one, like a guy, I will question my choice I already made,

743
01:02:48.560 --> 01:02:56.640
or when I'm triggered, like, I do have the problem, not feeling being included. And then I

744
01:02:56.640 --> 01:03:04.240
would just go back to that kind of like, Oh, am I making the wrong choice? Like, even for the first

745
01:03:04.240 --> 01:03:11.840
job, I'm not excited about the direction they're going or they're doing now. You know, I'm more

746
01:03:11.840 --> 01:03:16.800
excited about the second job what I'm doing now. And I think God is showing me clearly,

747
01:03:17.600 --> 01:03:23.920
he's adding and blessing what I'm doing for the second job. But I still can go back and forth

748
01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:29.520
like the guy, I think the similar situation, you know, at that moment, I'm like, No, I don't think

749
01:03:29.520 --> 01:03:36.960
you're the right person. But then when I think it's a fear of lacking, make me like, Oh, maybe I

750
01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:41.680
should tell him more how to communicate with me better. Or maybe he can grow spiritually, maybe

751
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:47.040
he will change, you know, so Abby, um, let's hone in on something here. So you're saying something

752
01:03:47.040 --> 01:03:54.000
similar in both of these situations. You're saying that you doubt your own decisions. And yes, one of

753
01:03:54.000 --> 01:04:01.840
the things I would really recommend doing is starting to write out on paper and pros and cons

754
01:04:01.840 --> 01:04:08.880
for job for men, but including God in that process, you know, where you start to really see your own

755
01:04:08.880 --> 01:04:14.960
thoughts and writing out why you feel the way you feel. The reality is this, everyone, I'm going to

756
01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:21.120
say this to everyone, is that we can all second guess every single decision we make all the time

757
01:04:21.120 --> 01:04:27.680
every day. But if we do that, then we're really never ever going to be content anywhere, are we?

758
01:04:27.680 --> 01:04:33.680
But we have to get to the root of why do we second guess ourselves all the time? Well, a lot of people

759
01:04:33.680 --> 01:04:42.480
that do that. They had like, even my spiritual daughters, I'm the oldest of the two, really

760
01:04:42.480 --> 01:04:48.240
struggles with this even more than Olivia. And part of that is because every decision she tried

761
01:04:48.240 --> 01:04:54.000
to make, I'm not kidding, y'all literally multiple decisions she tried to make, her dad would always

762
01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:58.480
shoot that stuff down regarding what she wanted to go to school and do, the kind of jobs she wanted

763
01:04:58.480 --> 01:04:59.600
to have. And so it,

764
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.660
it caused her to question her own decisions.

765
01:05:03.660 --> 01:05:06.240
And now as a young adult lady,

766
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:09.160
she struggles to make decisions on her own.

767
01:05:09.160 --> 01:05:12.340
And so Abby, I would really recommend kind of looking at

768
01:05:12.340 --> 01:05:15.880
kind of as I was talking about tonight, the root system.

769
01:05:15.880 --> 01:05:20.040
So where are we still struggling back in the core

770
01:05:20.040 --> 01:05:24.080
of who you are regarding like decisions back in the day

771
01:05:24.080 --> 01:05:27.920
because the decisions now, yes, that is what's happening.

772
01:05:27.920 --> 01:05:30.980
But I think that's just a symptom of what needs healing

773
01:05:30.980 --> 01:05:32.240
still underneath the surface.

774
01:05:32.240 --> 01:05:36.080
Like where you initially have all these wavering,

775
01:05:36.080 --> 01:05:38.640
questioning, people causing you to doubt.

776
01:05:38.640 --> 01:05:42.680
But then also here's the thing.

777
01:05:42.680 --> 01:05:45.800
We also need to get to this place of not being so afraid

778
01:05:45.800 --> 01:05:49.040
to just make a decision and walk in it for a little while.

779
01:05:50.920 --> 01:05:54.560
Because the reality is if it's not the right job for you,

780
01:05:54.560 --> 01:05:57.120
Abby, where you're at now,

781
01:05:57.120 --> 01:05:59.400
then God will redirect you at some point,

782
01:05:59.400 --> 01:06:02.040
but maybe just giving yourself permission

783
01:06:02.040 --> 01:06:05.200
to just enjoy where you are

784
01:06:05.200 --> 01:06:07.080
instead of just like constantly like,

785
01:06:07.080 --> 01:06:08.600
maybe I should just be back over there.

786
01:06:08.600 --> 01:06:10.800
Because the same thing, this is like,

787
01:06:10.800 --> 01:06:12.320
we sometimes get in relationships

788
01:06:12.320 --> 01:06:15.000
and then we think the grass is greener on the other side.

789
01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:15.840
Right?

790
01:06:17.280 --> 01:06:18.120
Okay.

791
01:06:18.120 --> 01:06:19.080
So like you have to,

792
01:06:19.080 --> 01:06:20.600
it's really gonna be important for you

793
01:06:20.600 --> 01:06:22.620
to get to the root of this with the Lord.

794
01:06:22.620 --> 01:06:25.060
It doesn't mean you have to have everything figured out.

795
01:06:25.060 --> 01:06:26.400
I'm not saying that,

796
01:06:26.400 --> 01:06:28.460
but I think you're gonna wanna get to the root of this

797
01:06:28.460 --> 01:06:31.340
a little more so that you can be happier

798
01:06:31.340 --> 01:06:34.020
in some of these kinds of relationships and things.

799
01:06:34.020 --> 01:06:38.040
And so, yeah, start by making the list.

800
01:06:38.040 --> 01:06:39.540
I think that's gonna be really important for you.

801
01:06:39.540 --> 01:06:41.880
And the reason I say that for anybody else that's wondering,

802
01:06:41.880 --> 01:06:43.460
why is she like, make lists?

803
01:06:43.460 --> 01:06:46.620
Because for me, I questioned my decisions a lot

804
01:06:46.620 --> 01:06:49.300
back when I was dating too.

805
01:06:49.300 --> 01:06:52.700
And so what God led me to do was make a poster board.

806
01:06:52.700 --> 01:06:54.860
I've talked about this on sessions before.

807
01:06:54.860 --> 01:06:56.700
And I literally like wrote out

808
01:06:56.700 --> 01:06:58.760
the different guys I was talking to

809
01:06:58.760 --> 01:07:00.460
and good things about them,

810
01:07:00.460 --> 01:07:02.540
things that I was not sure about,

811
01:07:02.540 --> 01:07:04.380
you know, different hobbies they had.

812
01:07:04.380 --> 01:07:07.220
And I just like looked at it on paper.

813
01:07:07.220 --> 01:07:09.940
And as I did that, I was like, oh, this is,

814
01:07:09.940 --> 01:07:11.940
and I wrote down like how I felt

815
01:07:11.940 --> 01:07:13.460
when I went on a date with them

816
01:07:13.460 --> 01:07:15.540
or when I interacted with them on the app.

817
01:07:15.540 --> 01:07:18.780
And I just started paying attention to myself.

818
01:07:19.940 --> 01:07:21.740
And what I was thinking and feeling

819
01:07:21.740 --> 01:07:24.260
when I was having those interactions with them.

820
01:07:24.260 --> 01:07:26.260
And because I took the time to do that,

821
01:07:26.260 --> 01:07:30.780
what I did is I centered in my own feelings and thoughts

822
01:07:30.780 --> 01:07:33.500
and allowed myself to discern

823
01:07:33.500 --> 01:07:36.940
was what I was interpreting correct

824
01:07:36.940 --> 01:07:40.380
about that person, about the situation.

825
01:07:40.380 --> 01:07:42.340
And so it's just gonna take time,

826
01:07:42.340 --> 01:07:44.940
but that's where I would encourage you to start, Abby, okay?

827
01:07:44.940 --> 01:07:45.840
Yeah, that's great.

828
01:07:45.840 --> 01:07:47.900
Can I say something else or someone?

829
01:07:47.900 --> 01:07:49.340
I'm gonna actually go to Kalandra

830
01:07:49.340 --> 01:07:51.060
just so that I have time for a couple-

831
01:07:51.060 --> 01:07:52.820
Okay, yeah, I can wait.

832
01:07:52.820 --> 01:07:53.700
Yeah, all right.

833
01:07:53.700 --> 01:07:54.780
Thank you.

834
01:07:54.780 --> 01:07:55.820
Kalandra, go ahead.

835
01:07:57.620 --> 01:08:00.860
What is the difference between being in hiding

836
01:08:00.860 --> 01:08:04.900
or being in a season where you're content being single

837
01:08:04.900 --> 01:08:08.900
and actually just have no desire to date at a present time?

838
01:08:08.900 --> 01:08:11.040
Cause I'm like, I'm doing really well.

839
01:08:11.040 --> 01:08:12.660
I love my job.

840
01:08:12.660 --> 01:08:13.820
Physically, I'm doing well.

841
01:08:13.820 --> 01:08:15.140
Mentally, I'm like,

842
01:08:15.140 --> 01:08:18.380
I'm actually feel like I'm in the healthiest place to date

843
01:08:18.380 --> 01:08:20.819
and I've just lost interest.

844
01:08:20.819 --> 01:08:24.500
Well, I think key, the first question is,

845
01:08:26.140 --> 01:08:29.939
if God has led you into a time of just being single

846
01:08:29.939 --> 01:08:32.160
to better figure out who you are

847
01:08:32.160 --> 01:08:34.420
and what you really want in the future,

848
01:08:34.420 --> 01:08:35.819
that's not a bad thing.

849
01:08:35.819 --> 01:08:39.100
I remember being in the community and in the beginning,

850
01:08:39.100 --> 01:08:42.060
Jackie was like encouraging us to date really early on

851
01:08:42.060 --> 01:08:43.899
and it wasn't that I was rebelling.

852
01:08:43.899 --> 01:08:47.979
I knew that like, even before I came in this community,

853
01:08:47.979 --> 01:08:50.260
I felt led to not date for a year.

854
01:08:51.200 --> 01:08:55.300
And then it ended up like I came into this community

855
01:08:55.300 --> 01:08:59.100
and it turned into like, I'm okay like this right now.

856
01:08:59.100 --> 01:09:02.420
And so I ended up waiting about two years to date.

857
01:09:02.420 --> 01:09:05.020
And that was, I felt really good about that for myself.

858
01:09:05.020 --> 01:09:07.220
And so I think the way that I would say

859
01:09:07.220 --> 01:09:09.100
is what's the difference is like,

860
01:09:09.100 --> 01:09:11.340
if God is nudging you to take a break,

861
01:09:11.340 --> 01:09:15.300
because for me, I don't know what your situation was,

862
01:09:15.300 --> 01:09:18.620
but I dated one person after another, after another,

863
01:09:18.620 --> 01:09:20.260
and I was married for a long period,

864
01:09:20.260 --> 01:09:22.399
but then when that fell apart,

865
01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:25.740
I kind of went back into dating unhealthy people.

866
01:09:25.740 --> 01:09:28.380
And so I just like really prayed into it.

867
01:09:28.380 --> 01:09:32.600
I was like, man, I need to just kind of take some time

868
01:09:32.600 --> 01:09:34.859
to figure out who I am

869
01:09:36.060 --> 01:09:40.500
and what is causing me to attract unhealthy people.

870
01:09:41.500 --> 01:09:43.540
And un-become those things

871
01:09:43.540 --> 01:09:46.939
so that I can attract somebody healthy in the days ahead.

872
01:09:46.939 --> 01:09:49.920
And so I needed to kind of recalibrate.

873
01:09:51.939 --> 01:09:55.300
Hiding is somebody who literally feels God

874
01:09:55.300 --> 01:10:00.300
calling them to date and they're resisting, they're staying.

875
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.000
staying single because they believe it's easier to be single, okay?

876
01:10:05.000 --> 01:10:10.000
Or they believe God has them in the waiting room waiting for Boaz, waiting for Boaz.

877
01:10:10.000 --> 01:10:12.000
Those are the differences.

878
01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:16.000
If you feel led to take a break for right now and you're learning kind of like,

879
01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:20.000
oh, I'm kind of enjoying learning about myself, experiencing this.

880
01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:25.000
I really enjoyed going on trips by myself for the first time when I was single.

881
01:10:25.000 --> 01:10:28.000
I had never done that before, you know?

882
01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:35.000
And so those were important experiences for me to have that I believe prepared me to receive Brian.

883
01:10:35.000 --> 01:10:40.000
So I don't know if that gives you enough clarity, but I feel like the distinction is,

884
01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:44.000
are you avoiding dating and that's why you're staying single?

885
01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:50.000
Or is God leading you to that place so that you can kind of recalibrate, figure out who you are,

886
01:10:50.000 --> 01:10:53.000
kind of just get into a place where you're really at peace with yourself

887
01:10:53.000 --> 01:10:58.000
so that you can be at peace in a relationship?

888
01:10:58.000 --> 01:11:00.000
Yeah, and that might be different for everybody else.

889
01:11:00.000 --> 01:11:02.000
Different people hide in different ways.

890
01:11:02.000 --> 01:11:08.000
Some people, you know, go from one relationship to another to another to another to hide, you know?

891
01:11:08.000 --> 01:11:13.000
So when we do coaching sessions like this, I really want everybody to kind of, you know,

892
01:11:13.000 --> 01:11:19.000
hear things through the lens of how is God saying this applies to you?

893
01:11:19.000 --> 01:11:23.000
And sometimes, you know, some of the things that I might say to Kalandra,

894
01:11:23.000 --> 01:11:28.000
or I'm just going to make this up, Yamina, or whoever, might not be for you.

895
01:11:28.000 --> 01:11:33.000
That's where we have to have the Holy Spirit to be our guide and lead us into truth, right?

896
01:11:33.000 --> 01:11:39.000
And so, I mean, I know your story, Kalandra, just from coaching you for, you know, a little while and stuff.

897
01:11:39.000 --> 01:11:46.000
And I think it's a good thing for you to take some time and really just enjoy.

898
01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:51.000
I know that, I think if I remember correctly, you're taking care of your mom and stuff too, right?

899
01:11:51.000 --> 01:11:57.000
Yes, I work full time with animals. I take care of 60 animals, all the things.

900
01:11:57.000 --> 01:12:05.000
But at some point, I believe God will nudge you to reopen your heart to dating.

901
01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:12.000
And in that moment, if you resist it and partner with, it's just easier to be single,

902
01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:16.000
then that's where you're going to kind of know, okay, that's hiding then. Does that make sense?

903
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:17.000
Yes, thank you.

904
01:12:17.000 --> 01:12:21.000
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. Crystal, how about you?

905
01:12:21.000 --> 01:12:24.000
Well, can you hear me?

906
01:12:24.000 --> 01:12:25.000
Yes.

907
01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:29.000
Okay, so I came in a year and a half ago, of course, obviously looking for the spirit mate.

908
01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:35.000
I feel like I'm a thousand miles from nowhere, especially since I started the fostering.

909
01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:40.000
I feel kind of a little bit lost myself when I took the newborn twins,

910
01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:46.000
because there's not even a moment in the day sometimes where you can even get,

911
01:12:46.000 --> 01:12:54.000
having one baby is one thing, but having two newborn 36-week-old babies with medical challenges is a whole nother story by yourself.

912
01:12:54.000 --> 01:13:00.000
And then there's a thousand rules with fostering, who can watch them, where they can go,

913
01:13:00.000 --> 01:13:04.000
all the things that you don't know really when you get into it,

914
01:13:04.000 --> 01:13:07.000
and you put all the work into it and the effort into it and everything else.

915
01:13:08.000 --> 01:13:12.000
Anyhow, I was just in Europe on a trip that I had planned before the twins came.

916
01:13:12.000 --> 01:13:18.000
But anyways, since the beginning of the year, I've just been fighting health challenge after health challenge after health challenge.

917
01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:23.000
And when I was on the cruise in Europe, one of my friends that was there, she's like,

918
01:13:23.000 --> 01:13:26.000
Crystal, it's just because you're stuck. You're not moving forward.

919
01:13:26.000 --> 01:13:31.000
So I don't know. I just, I got to get out of it. Like, I got to get out of this.

920
01:13:31.000 --> 01:13:34.000
I got to figure out what's going on with this.

921
01:13:34.000 --> 01:13:40.000
And that's my pattern. Like when I was young, I mean, I don't know necessarily unless the Holy Spirit would show me,

922
01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:44.000
but even before I was like, I'm going to say just a couple of months.

923
01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:47.000
I mean, I was back in the hospital with croup and this and that.

924
01:13:47.000 --> 01:13:52.000
Like that was the pattern I knew was sickness like for 24 years.

925
01:13:53.000 --> 01:13:58.000
And I mean, you know, God's healed me of all those things and God uses me with other people,

926
01:13:58.000 --> 01:14:03.000
but it's a constant, you know, like I really watch my language now.

927
01:14:03.000 --> 01:14:08.000
I don't say I have or have this. I just say, you know, I have challenges that I'm, you know, fighting off or whatever,

928
01:14:08.000 --> 01:14:10.000
but like it's been, some of them have been serious.

929
01:14:10.000 --> 01:14:13.000
I mean, I was in the hospital and stuff like that.

930
01:14:13.000 --> 01:14:18.000
So, you know, I've got to, I've got to figure out if it's something emotionally that I got trapped in here because this,

931
01:14:18.000 --> 01:14:21.000
this is just nonsense. Like I can't, I can't go on like this.

932
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:23.000
Here's my question though. Okay.

933
01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:31.000
So why does your friend think you're stuck because you're getting sick? Is that what you're saying?

934
01:14:31.000 --> 01:14:35.000
Yeah. She's like the challenges that you're, you know, you're fighting off in your health.

935
01:14:35.000 --> 01:14:38.000
She was like, I think she's like, I think they're emotionally because you're,

936
01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:42.000
you're afraid to move forward, you know, knee, hip, whatever, you know.

937
01:14:42.000 --> 01:14:45.000
What's really interesting is I think you are moving forward.

938
01:14:46.000 --> 01:14:47.000
Okay.

939
01:14:48.000 --> 01:14:52.000
I mean, you're literally stepping into part of your dream.

940
01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:56.000
Like, you know, yes, the spirit mate hasn't come yet,

941
01:14:56.000 --> 01:15:00.000
but you're like fostering and you're taking care of these kids.

942
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.680
kids and you're experiencing all this new stuff, you know, here's the reality, kids come with germs.

943
01:15:07.120 --> 01:15:13.440
They come with lots of germs and so I don't know that I would partner with that you're stuck.

944
01:15:14.160 --> 01:15:20.000
I honestly think maybe your immune system might be weak because it's a lot of stress to take care

945
01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:24.800
of a bunch of kids too and send them on back to their parents and I mean it could be a lot

946
01:15:24.800 --> 01:15:31.520
of things, right? And so I just I don't feel like maybe it's the negative pattern that I go back to

947
01:15:31.520 --> 01:15:36.880
feeling that I'm not getting anywhere. That's what I think is more what would cause you to be stuck

948
01:15:36.880 --> 01:15:42.800
if anything, Crystal, because and again I think this is a great example everyone. Here she is,

949
01:15:42.800 --> 01:15:48.800
she's moving forward from now I don't see you in your everyday life but just from some of the

950
01:15:48.800 --> 01:15:52.480
things that I know that you encountered, things that you were afraid of, things that you thought

951
01:15:52.480 --> 01:15:56.160
you were never going to have and here you are you're walking some of those things out

952
01:15:57.440 --> 01:15:59.600
but believing that you're not moving forward.

953
01:16:02.080 --> 01:16:06.800
This goes back to what I was saying earlier, you guys, the enemy wants us to be double-minded. He

954
01:16:06.800 --> 01:16:11.440
wants us to constantly be like, oh nothing's working, nothing's working, but like we're

955
01:16:11.440 --> 01:16:16.320
literally walking out some of the things like at the time he's saying this stuff to us.

956
01:16:16.960 --> 01:16:23.520
And so I would encourage you, Crystal, to go back to like in the heart work when I talk a lot about

957
01:16:23.520 --> 01:16:29.360
catching the thought, you know, we want to catch our thoughts quickly and cast those things down

958
01:16:29.360 --> 01:16:36.000
and make them obedient to Jesus Christ and the truth of his word and so I would look at all the

959
01:16:36.000 --> 01:16:41.120
things that are going well. So before you go to bed tonight or tomorrow, again your hands are full

960
01:16:41.120 --> 01:16:45.280
there, you got a lot going on, even if you don't have time to write them down with a pen,

961
01:16:45.280 --> 01:16:50.080
just like transcribe it into your phone or something, but like I want you to just list

962
01:16:50.080 --> 01:16:58.000
three things that have happened good in the last week, okay, and I want you to do that at least

963
01:16:58.000 --> 01:17:01.920
once a week. You don't have to do it every day, but at least once a week where you're just like,

964
01:17:01.920 --> 01:17:06.720
okay, these are three good things that happened this week, you know, whether it was a step you

965
01:17:06.720 --> 01:17:11.360
took forward, whether it was something you experienced that was good with the babies

966
01:17:11.440 --> 01:17:17.680
that you're taking care of, or whatever, but something positive, because I think, again,

967
01:17:17.680 --> 01:17:23.040
as I was talking about earlier, the more that we partner with the positive that's working,

968
01:17:24.160 --> 01:17:27.680
and again, it's not ignoring the things that we still want to happen,

969
01:17:28.560 --> 01:17:33.840
or that we are like, when I have felt sick, man, it's hard to be positive. I don't know

970
01:17:33.840 --> 01:17:40.560
about you guys, but that's some of the hardest times for me to be positive, but even in that

971
01:17:40.880 --> 01:17:45.440
like, I've had days I go to church on Sunday, I haven't felt great, but y'all, I still worship.

972
01:17:45.440 --> 01:17:52.880
It's not always easy, but when we partner with the worship, with the good things, again, I think that

973
01:17:52.880 --> 01:17:58.640
it creates this momentum a little bit in us to like, oh yeah, like even though I might not feel

974
01:17:58.640 --> 01:18:02.480
well, these are the good things you're doing, God.

975
01:18:02.800 --> 01:18:06.800
Yeah, I guess, and too, I feel like, you know, I want to date, and I want to do the things,

976
01:18:06.800 --> 01:18:13.760
you know, example yesterday, listening to Jackie's, you know, whatever, the spotlight that she did,

977
01:18:13.760 --> 01:18:18.240
right, and it's like, you know, I put myself in a position where, you know, I'm financially

978
01:18:18.240 --> 01:18:22.000
independent, I can travel, I can move, I don't, you know, I don't have a whatever, I'm healthy,

979
01:18:22.000 --> 01:18:27.040
I'm this, but it's like, I put myself in a position that I can't, because I can't do anything,

980
01:18:27.120 --> 01:18:31.680
but it's like, I put myself in a position that I can't, because I can't do anything.

981
01:18:33.360 --> 01:18:41.360
Right now, or until God brings you a person that can walk with you in that, you know,

982
01:18:41.360 --> 01:18:48.080
and we don't know how God's going to orchestrate that. You all, so many, God is like, so creative

983
01:18:48.080 --> 01:18:54.480
and great. You might know a friend right now that might tomorrow think like, oh my gosh,

984
01:18:55.200 --> 01:19:03.200
this guy, man, he would be great for Crystal. I'm just saying, I'm not saying it's like a genie

985
01:19:03.200 --> 01:19:07.760
in a bottle, you all, it's not always that easy, but I am saying that it is possible.

986
01:19:09.120 --> 01:19:16.800
And so maybe the thing is, is that you're in this moment of enjoying something that you've wanted,

987
01:19:17.600 --> 01:19:24.640
and the enemy is trying to do everything he can to get you to not enjoy it by convincing you that

988
01:19:24.640 --> 01:19:29.840
because you have these babies now, you've like ruined your chances of finding a spirit mate.

989
01:19:31.120 --> 01:19:37.360
That isn't true. It might make it a little more tricky right now, you know, in some ways,

990
01:19:37.360 --> 01:19:41.360
but again, I don't think it's that you're not moving forward. I think this is stuff that

991
01:19:42.160 --> 01:19:48.880
needed to happen for you to grow in confidence in a lot of different ways, to know that God would

992
01:19:48.880 --> 01:19:53.600
fulfill promises that you've been asking him for. You know, it might not always come the way we

993
01:19:53.600 --> 01:19:58.160
want it to, ladies and gentlemen, but God is working and he's leading us one step at a time.

994
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:08.400
I never said I would go on a dating app. Again, I went on a dating app and I met Brian. So look at

995
01:20:08.400 --> 01:20:13.680
what's going well. Okay. And let's see how that helps you move forward just even in your own

996
01:20:13.680 --> 01:20:19.200
internal self and how you're thinking. And then as you're thinking, hopefully more positively

997
01:20:19.200 --> 01:20:25.280
over these next few weeks, maybe that will help create some external changes as well regarding

998
01:20:25.520 --> 01:20:30.640
I need to get back into the community as well because I mean like, you know, they just overtook

999
01:20:30.640 --> 01:20:35.520
my life. And so, I mean, you know, it can be like 16 hours of feeding with a pair of twins. Like

1000
01:20:35.520 --> 01:20:39.520
you just, you have no idea until you have twins. So it's like, it's just an, you know, you're just

1001
01:20:39.520 --> 01:20:45.440
like, oh my goodness. Yeah. And maybe part of this, remember the guys might not know this,

1002
01:20:45.440 --> 01:20:50.720
but part of what we do in the heart work too, is we encourage the ladies to practice receiving.

1003
01:20:50.800 --> 01:20:57.520
And part of that is we encourage them to ask people for help. Crystal, this is your season

1004
01:20:57.520 --> 01:21:02.400
to ask some people for help. I need help. I guess. You know what? You might have some friends that

1005
01:21:02.400 --> 01:21:08.560
would be really blessed to come and help you walk part of this dream of your life out. You might

1006
01:21:08.560 --> 01:21:14.560
just be surprised. So practice asking people to come and help you even though it was something

1007
01:21:14.560 --> 01:21:19.440
you wanted. It's okay. There's things that I want to, I wanted to be in full-time ministry,

1008
01:21:19.440 --> 01:21:25.840
running this race with my husband. It's awesome. But man, some days it's hard and we need help.

1009
01:21:25.840 --> 01:21:31.040
The harvest is plentiful. So I just want to encourage you, ask for help, focus on some

1010
01:21:31.040 --> 01:21:35.920
good things and let's see where that leads you. Okay. All right. Thank you. You're welcome. Great,

1011
01:21:35.920 --> 01:21:44.800
great stuff. Hunter. Hi. Hey. How's it going? Oh good. It's just, I've been trying to, it's just

1012
01:21:44.800 --> 01:21:49.840
trying to balance away from my old approach to my new approach that I think would be the great way.

1013
01:21:50.480 --> 01:21:55.200
All right. So I'm not on the apps. I did meet some women in church, but it originally started,

1014
01:21:55.200 --> 01:22:01.120
you know, I went to Greece and multi-met them. And I, well, I was still a Romanian level one

1015
01:22:01.120 --> 01:22:06.560
relationship with them. Of course I got to know one. One's a local, the other is a mom who's in

1016
01:22:06.560 --> 01:22:12.480
her forties. And basically she, one, so what happens is they were, they were nice and they

1017
01:22:12.880 --> 01:22:17.280
encouraged me to sit with them. It's like, okay. And then they, but we, but we didn't get in,

1018
01:22:17.280 --> 01:22:23.360
try to connect where we try to lead to level two, like on all the tours. One time I, I slept,

1019
01:22:23.360 --> 01:22:28.400
I overslept and she knocked on my door to wake me up. And when we got to go to Turkey, I finally

1020
01:22:28.400 --> 01:22:34.560
got my price, a pound of her. And then finally when, and I met them again in church and I was

1021
01:22:34.560 --> 01:22:38.880
thinking, I want to be next to them. And they're like, sure. I got to chat with them and I was

1022
01:22:38.880 --> 01:22:43.680
like, it's okay. But I said, sure. And we sat and chat and then we got to know them. And then

1023
01:22:43.680 --> 01:22:49.360
finally, and then I was like, that's great. I'm not, I'm just doing that next step. I try to

1024
01:22:49.360 --> 01:22:55.760
sit there next step. I'm, I'm behind them in the row. And then I go in once one tried to come in

1025
01:22:55.760 --> 01:22:59.760
and encourage me to sit next to you. I was like, okay. And then, and then I went to a men's

1026
01:22:59.760 --> 01:23:04.160
conference and I was the one that interacted the most with most with her one with her.

1027
01:23:04.800 --> 01:23:09.200
And then the other one, I wasn't here. And then I finally, she even tried to sit next to me and we

1028
01:23:09.200 --> 01:23:16.160
walked out together in church. And I was thinking, well, it's like, this is an approach versus one

1029
01:23:16.160 --> 01:23:21.520
way to approach it rather than try to be the one who instigates it and try to manipulate and make

1030
01:23:21.520 --> 01:23:26.720
it happen. How about I try to make an approach and try to be aware of what they're thinking.

1031
01:23:26.720 --> 01:23:31.520
And I think there might be, they like me. I, the good news is I like, that's a good way to start

1032
01:23:31.520 --> 01:23:37.120
to lead to a level two relationship. Cause I might think of asking him to hang out. I don't

1033
01:23:37.120 --> 01:23:42.880
think that I think it's their kind nature because one of them is such a good godly woman. And because

1034
01:23:42.880 --> 01:23:47.920
my biggest fear, a lot of us men is they're trying to manipulate, try to make happen chicken now.

1035
01:23:47.920 --> 01:23:51.920
And we won't, don't want some control. I don't see those traits in her at all. She looks like

1036
01:23:51.920 --> 01:23:58.000
a godly woman when, and fears the Lord. And she doesn't seem to be that bad at it then. And then

1037
01:23:58.000 --> 01:24:03.600
of course, the thing is it's my approach is the thing is I'm not going to, I don't think it's

1038
01:24:03.600 --> 01:24:08.400
really any, it has to do more than being kind nature and welcoming rather than building connection

1039
01:24:08.400 --> 01:24:13.200
and chemistry. But what you're doing is really good because you're giving yourself time to get

1040
01:24:13.200 --> 01:24:18.000
to know them Hunter. And I think that you're seeing some really good qualities in them.

1041
01:24:18.560 --> 01:24:25.120
I don't think it would hurt to say to maybe try it with one right now, maybe not both. Let's see

1042
01:24:25.120 --> 01:24:30.000
what happens if you just say to one of the ladies that you've really enjoyed getting to know

1043
01:24:31.760 --> 01:24:36.080
that you've enjoyed getting to know her and want to know if she would like to go to dinner.

1044
01:24:36.080 --> 01:24:40.320
And then here's the thing. The thing is I'm not going to come try and make it happen and make

1045
01:24:40.320 --> 01:24:44.320
it like an island, push it like under pressure. You don't have to push it. If she doesn't want

1046
01:24:44.320 --> 01:24:49.680
to go to dinner, then you can just say, okay, I would just like to get to know you at church then.

1047
01:24:49.680 --> 01:24:54.160
You know, but then the other problem is I don't want, but at the same time, I'm not going to be

1048
01:24:54.160 --> 01:24:59.840
make singles comfortable and be isolation. I want to build a legit relationship rather than be.

1049
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.920
incentivized by what's in it for me, like sleep or whatever, or the benefits of it rather

1050
01:25:05.920 --> 01:25:06.920
than being incentivized.

1051
01:25:06.920 --> 01:25:10.520
But going to dinner, Hunter, going to dinner isn't any of those things.

1052
01:25:10.520 --> 01:25:15.660
It's just asking the person that you're enjoying getting to know if they would like to go to

1053
01:25:15.660 --> 01:25:16.660
dinner.

1054
01:25:16.660 --> 01:25:20.400
If they say no, then you're going to know that that's probably not an open door right

1055
01:25:20.400 --> 01:25:21.400
now.

1056
01:25:21.400 --> 01:25:23.760
So you're doing a lot of really good things.

1057
01:25:23.760 --> 01:25:27.840
I feel like even hearing you talk in the past, like you were just kind of focused on what

1058
01:25:27.840 --> 01:25:33.520
wasn't happening, and now you're like, okay, I'm enjoying getting to know these ladies.

1059
01:25:33.520 --> 01:25:36.200
They look, you know, they're acting really nice.

1060
01:25:36.200 --> 01:25:38.240
They asked if I wanted to sit by them.

1061
01:25:38.240 --> 01:25:42.440
And you even said just a few moments ago, it might just be their kind nature.

1062
01:25:42.440 --> 01:25:43.680
I'm not sure.

1063
01:25:43.680 --> 01:25:45.260
Those are not things you said before.

1064
01:25:45.260 --> 01:25:48.880
So I feel like I hear a lot of growth in you.

1065
01:25:48.880 --> 01:25:51.320
I also really like your haircut.

1066
01:25:51.320 --> 01:25:53.000
I don't know if this is a new thing.

1067
01:25:53.000 --> 01:25:54.920
It looks really good on you.

1068
01:25:54.920 --> 01:25:55.920
I know.

1069
01:25:55.920 --> 01:25:59.520
So I think just, you know, keep being patient.

1070
01:25:59.520 --> 01:26:03.920
But being patient doesn't mean you can't ask someone to dinner to see if they're interested.

1071
01:26:03.920 --> 01:26:05.600
Yes, I have to be patient.

1072
01:26:05.600 --> 01:26:08.400
Like in jiu jitsu, it's all about trying to get better.

1073
01:26:08.400 --> 01:26:09.400
And that's the thing I try.

1074
01:26:09.400 --> 01:26:13.560
They even tell them about my personal life too, but even one of them to ask, but the

1075
01:26:13.560 --> 01:26:15.120
only thing is I add details to it.

1076
01:26:15.120 --> 01:26:18.680
I didn't need to when they didn't want to know.

1077
01:26:18.680 --> 01:26:23.200
And no, it's just I know I've turned one off on the trip because she's an animal lover.

1078
01:26:23.200 --> 01:26:28.640
I cursed and she went, give me those eyeball logs and I scared in and she got mad.

1079
01:26:28.640 --> 01:26:30.360
I was like, well, she didn't.

1080
01:26:30.360 --> 01:26:31.360
She let go.

1081
01:26:31.360 --> 01:26:32.920
I'm thinking, OK, this is an honest mistake.

1082
01:26:32.920 --> 01:26:33.920
Just move on.

1083
01:26:33.920 --> 01:26:34.920
Don't beat yourself up.

1084
01:26:34.920 --> 01:26:35.920
It is.

1085
01:26:35.920 --> 01:26:36.920
And you know what?

1086
01:26:36.920 --> 01:26:38.840
This is the thing.

1087
01:26:38.840 --> 01:26:47.000
You know, sometimes people I have a lady at church that I've been kind of coaching and

1088
01:26:47.000 --> 01:26:53.360
teaching on how to minister to people that are newer to church because we have another

1089
01:26:53.360 --> 01:26:58.480
young lady that's coming and she didn't grow up in church and you all, she will drop F

1090
01:26:58.480 --> 01:27:00.840
bombs in the church parking lot.

1091
01:27:00.840 --> 01:27:06.440
OK, but sometimes people that are have been in church for a long time, you know, we're

1092
01:27:06.440 --> 01:27:08.700
not used to that maybe because we don't swear.

1093
01:27:08.700 --> 01:27:12.440
And so when people do that, then people are like, oh, how dare they?

1094
01:27:12.440 --> 01:27:16.480
You know, well, we got to remember some people, even if you go to church, some people, it

1095
01:27:16.960 --> 01:27:17.960
just slips out.

1096
01:27:17.960 --> 01:27:19.560
And so, Hunter, don't be hard on yourself.

1097
01:27:19.560 --> 01:27:21.120
I think you've grown a ton.

1098
01:27:21.120 --> 01:27:24.280
I've really enjoyed hearing what you've shared tonight.

1099
01:27:24.280 --> 01:27:26.620
And we just are so glad that you're in this community.

1100
01:27:26.620 --> 01:27:27.620
So many of us.

1101
01:27:27.620 --> 01:27:32.160
How many of you all have seen Hunter grow a lot in the last few years?

1102
01:27:32.160 --> 01:27:33.160
Wave at Hunter.

1103
01:27:33.160 --> 01:27:39.240
It's been it's I'm not the kind who gives not the kind of guy who gives up.

1104
01:27:39.240 --> 01:27:40.240
I know you don't.

1105
01:27:40.240 --> 01:27:41.240
And it's awesome.

1106
01:27:41.240 --> 01:27:44.400
I'm so glad that you shared tonight.

1107
01:27:44.400 --> 01:27:45.960
We really appreciate you.

1108
01:27:45.960 --> 01:27:49.480
I want to see if there's anyone else that won.

1109
01:27:49.480 --> 01:27:53.200
Oh, Renee, I saw your thing in the chat, Renee.

1110
01:27:53.200 --> 01:28:01.880
If you want to unmute, you can ask your question.

1111
01:28:01.880 --> 01:28:07.960
I don't know if Renee is still here or not.

1112
01:28:07.960 --> 01:28:11.040
She was saying she didn't know how to raise her hand.

1113
01:28:11.040 --> 01:28:12.280
That's the Renee I'm talking to.

1114
01:28:12.280 --> 01:28:15.640
She didn't know how to raise her hand digitally, but she's on her phone.

1115
01:28:16.320 --> 01:28:20.320
So, Renee, if you are still here and you want to ask your question, you can.

1116
01:28:20.320 --> 01:28:30.320
All right.

1117
01:28:30.320 --> 01:28:33.320
Maybe she's not sure how to work her phone, which is OK.

1118
01:28:33.320 --> 01:28:40.520
So, Renee, if you can hear me, if you will put your question in our community group,

1119
01:28:40.520 --> 01:28:45.600
myself or one of the coaches, peer coaches will respond to you there.

1120
01:28:46.560 --> 01:28:49.800
I can probably take one more person.

1121
01:28:49.800 --> 01:28:54.680
Is there anyone else before I close tonight out?

1122
01:28:54.680 --> 01:28:56.360
I'll go.

1123
01:28:56.360 --> 01:28:59.960
It's not really a question.

1124
01:28:59.960 --> 01:29:05.400
It's just a hard work thing that has happened for me where I've had two gentlemen that I

1125
01:29:05.400 --> 01:29:13.120
was intentional about getting to know, and I had a dream about one of them the night,

1126
01:29:13.120 --> 01:29:16.480
like a week before I was supposed to meet them, and it just gave me ickiness inside.

1127
01:29:16.480 --> 01:29:21.680
I asked to Deacon and he's like, yeah, just tell him you don't have peace about it and

1128
01:29:21.680 --> 01:29:23.560
bless him and block him and move on.

1129
01:29:23.560 --> 01:29:27.320
And he kind of laughed it off, but I felt so much peace when I did it.

1130
01:29:27.320 --> 01:29:32.040
The next guy I went on a date with just a few days ago, which was a great date.

1131
01:29:32.040 --> 01:29:37.000
He was super kind and intentional and paid and held my hand and prayed.

1132
01:29:37.000 --> 01:29:40.480
But there was several things that he had said to me on the phone that I just really wasn't

1133
01:29:40.480 --> 01:29:41.560
feeling good about it.

1134
01:29:41.560 --> 01:29:43.840
And when I saw him, I didn't have attraction to him.

1135
01:29:43.840 --> 01:29:46.400
And then those other things rose up in my spirit.

1136
01:29:46.400 --> 01:29:48.080
And I said the same thing.

1137
01:29:48.080 --> 01:29:53.120
I told my brother and his wife about the things that he had said, and it didn't set right in

1138
01:29:53.120 --> 01:29:54.120
my spirit at all.

1139
01:29:54.120 --> 01:29:56.580
My brother was like, no, no, no.

1140
01:29:56.580 --> 01:30:00.000
And so I just felt so much peace, even though I was so excited to meet him.

1141
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.360
And it didn't work out.

1142
01:30:02.360 --> 01:30:06.840
I didn't have that much of a discouragement because I feel like I've grown so much in

1143
01:30:06.840 --> 01:30:08.400
my spirit.

1144
01:30:08.400 --> 01:30:10.280
And he was shocked again, too.

1145
01:30:10.280 --> 01:30:12.200
And I'm like, I got to bless him and block him again.

1146
01:30:12.200 --> 01:30:17.400
I got to block him on everywhere so that I don't get any conversation from him.

1147
01:30:17.400 --> 01:30:18.800
And that felt so good.

1148
01:30:18.800 --> 01:30:22.720
There was a tiny bit of discouragement getting back on the app because I had been focusing

1149
01:30:22.720 --> 01:30:27.280
on him a little bit more, just for like two weeks or so, but not really.

1150
01:30:27.280 --> 01:30:30.040
I know that God has an amazing person for me.

1151
01:30:30.040 --> 01:30:34.160
And so I liked what you said earlier, too, about being intentional and saying a prayer.

1152
01:30:34.160 --> 01:30:35.160
I've been intentional.

1153
01:30:35.160 --> 01:30:36.600
Like, God, should I talk to this guy?

1154
01:30:36.600 --> 01:30:38.240
God, should I say yes to this guy?

1155
01:30:38.240 --> 01:30:40.600
God, should I X this guy?

1156
01:30:40.600 --> 01:30:46.960
And so I do say that, but I haven't said a prayer like you had mentioned.

1157
01:30:46.960 --> 01:30:50.200
I forget exactly what you said, but it was good.

1158
01:30:50.200 --> 01:30:54.680
It was good to say that God lead me to the right person and keep the people that I'm

1159
01:30:54.680 --> 01:30:57.320
not supposed to be with away from me and things like that.

1160
01:30:57.320 --> 01:31:02.440
So I second guessed myself if I really have gone through the heart work, even though it's

1161
01:31:02.440 --> 01:31:04.360
been so long.

1162
01:31:04.360 --> 01:31:08.840
I know that through the years since I've been in this program, it's exponentially, exponentially

1163
01:31:08.840 --> 01:31:10.720
changed my life.

1164
01:31:10.720 --> 01:31:13.200
And I'm so grateful for this program.

1165
01:31:13.200 --> 01:31:14.600
It's really changed my life.

1166
01:31:14.600 --> 01:31:19.680
And I'm not in this desperate, anxious state like I was in the very beginning several years

1167
01:31:19.680 --> 01:31:20.680
ago.

1168
01:31:20.680 --> 01:31:25.680
So if anyone else is feeling like they're in that stage, I just want to encourage you

1169
01:31:25.680 --> 01:31:29.520
to keep moving, keep going forward, just keep doing what you're doing.

1170
01:31:29.520 --> 01:31:32.160
Take a few minutes with the Lord, however long you have.

1171
01:31:32.160 --> 01:31:37.880
Be diligent, be faithful, be consistent and ask the Lord what he wants you to do for everything.

1172
01:31:37.880 --> 01:31:39.720
And it'll help so much.

1173
01:31:39.720 --> 01:31:42.520
And I'm just so grateful for you, Bethany, and this program and all the leaders.

1174
01:31:42.520 --> 01:31:43.520
So thank you so much.

1175
01:31:43.520 --> 01:31:44.520
Thank you.

1176
01:31:44.520 --> 01:31:46.280
Yes, that was so great.

1177
01:31:46.280 --> 01:31:52.360
And Victoria, I would second that even as you're talking and hearing how you navigated

1178
01:31:52.360 --> 01:31:56.960
those situations with those two guys, I can tell the difference in just how you're talking

1179
01:31:56.960 --> 01:31:57.960
about it.

1180
01:31:57.960 --> 01:31:59.480
I don't hear anxiousness in your voice.

1181
01:31:59.480 --> 01:32:02.880
I hear calm, which is a huge win.

1182
01:32:02.880 --> 01:32:07.360
So be sure to give yourself a hug.

1183
01:32:07.360 --> 01:32:09.880
I teach these little kids at church a lot now.

1184
01:32:09.880 --> 01:32:13.420
So I think about this stuff and I'm going to say this and y'all are going to be like,

1185
01:32:13.420 --> 01:32:15.200
this is kind of silly.

1186
01:32:15.200 --> 01:32:19.240
But I think for those of you that will take me up on this, guys included, guys will probably

1187
01:32:19.240 --> 01:32:20.240
check out on this.

1188
01:32:20.240 --> 01:32:22.480
But if you'll do it, I think it'll help you too.

1189
01:32:22.480 --> 01:32:23.480
All right.

1190
01:32:23.480 --> 01:32:26.680
So after I pray and we close out tonight, what I really want to encourage you all to

1191
01:32:26.680 --> 01:32:36.000
do is just for like 60 seconds, you can set a timer to literally hug yourself and tell

1192
01:32:36.000 --> 01:32:38.120
yourself that you're proud of yourself.

1193
01:32:38.120 --> 01:32:39.840
I'm serious.

1194
01:32:39.840 --> 01:32:43.640
Say some good things over yourself before you just move on from this moment that we've

1195
01:32:43.640 --> 01:32:45.960
had in time tonight together.

1196
01:32:45.960 --> 01:32:49.360
I really think so many of you, these are truths that you needed to hear.

1197
01:32:49.360 --> 01:32:53.080
You needed to be reminded of God's love and what he has for you.

1198
01:32:53.080 --> 01:32:57.160
Like I said, I think we'll go into inner vows a little more in our next session.

1199
01:32:57.160 --> 01:33:00.440
So be praying as we prepare for that as well.

1200
01:33:00.440 --> 01:33:02.720
Let me pray for y'all next week.

1201
01:33:02.720 --> 01:33:06.260
So I don't forget, you guys will have love seats, Ask Jackie love seats on the docket

1202
01:33:06.260 --> 01:33:07.920
next Tuesday night.

1203
01:33:07.920 --> 01:33:09.200
Our schedules are a little different.

1204
01:33:09.200 --> 01:33:12.140
We used to do kind of alternating Tuesday, Thursday, Tuesday, Thursday.

1205
01:33:12.140 --> 01:33:17.980
We might get back to that, but just our team right now, um, for the month of May, it's

1206
01:33:17.980 --> 01:33:19.980
like Tuesday night, Tuesday night, Tuesday night.

1207
01:33:19.980 --> 01:33:20.980
And then there's going to be a Thursday.

1208
01:33:20.980 --> 01:33:23.780
So you guys just make sure you pay attention to your event calendars.

1209
01:33:23.780 --> 01:33:24.780
Okay.

1210
01:33:24.780 --> 01:33:25.780
All right.

1211
01:33:25.780 --> 01:33:26.780
Father, thank you so much for this night.

1212
01:33:26.780 --> 01:33:29.900
God, we thank you for the truth of everything that went forth.

1213
01:33:29.900 --> 01:33:35.380
God, I pray that you would take these truths deeper into every man and woman.

1214
01:33:35.380 --> 01:33:38.980
God, that it would continue to set them free for days to come.

1215
01:33:38.980 --> 01:33:40.940
That dots would continue to get connected.

1216
01:33:41.340 --> 01:33:43.940
God, that they would continue to grow in confidence in you.

1217
01:33:43.940 --> 01:33:48.180
God, not just in head knowledge, but in heart knowledge, that where their subconscious takes

1218
01:33:48.180 --> 01:33:53.260
them back into negative places, God, or they get stuck in old patterns, Lord, we thank

1219
01:33:53.260 --> 01:33:57.760
you that you'll just come in and supernaturally start to create new grooves and help them

1220
01:33:57.760 --> 01:34:04.660
to intentionally, um, have the courage and the tenacity and the focus to, um, yeah, Lord,

1221
01:34:04.660 --> 01:34:09.420
just reprogram their minds by the power of your spirit, but also by the words that they

1222
01:34:09.420 --> 01:34:12.100
declare the thoughts that they think.

1223
01:34:12.100 --> 01:34:16.740
So Lord, I pray that you would help us to, um, take every thought captive and make it

1224
01:34:16.740 --> 01:34:22.540
obedient to Jesus Christ, that you would enable us to each one, um, partner with you in guarding

1225
01:34:22.540 --> 01:34:26.340
our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus, that we would remember that we have to take

1226
01:34:26.340 --> 01:34:31.540
an active role of protecting what comes into our hearts and our minds and, and Lord help

1227
01:34:31.540 --> 01:34:36.380
us to meta meditate on things that are true and noble and lovely and of good report things

1228
01:34:36.380 --> 01:34:38.860
that are above only and not beneath God.

1229
01:34:38.860 --> 01:34:43.700
I thank you that this next season, this next few months, God, that they're going to bring,

1230
01:34:43.700 --> 01:34:47.460
um, rapid increase of blessings and sudden leaves.

1231
01:34:47.460 --> 01:34:52.140
God, we thank you for doors of opportunity opening where people haven't seen opportunity.

1232
01:34:52.140 --> 01:34:57.660
We thank you for jobs happening and manifestations of financial blessings, spirit, make connections.

1233
01:34:57.660 --> 01:34:59.900
God, we know that you're bringing so.

1234
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.240
so many babies into our community in different ways.

1235
01:35:02.240 --> 01:35:04.200
We have Crystal on tonight, fostering.

1236
01:35:04.200 --> 01:35:05.920
We have a lot of married couples

1237
01:35:05.920 --> 01:35:06.880
that have been getting pregnant,

1238
01:35:06.880 --> 01:35:07.960
some of them having babies.

1239
01:35:07.960 --> 01:35:09.040
God, we just say thank you.

1240
01:35:09.040 --> 01:35:12.000
We thank you for everything that we've had already happened,

1241
01:35:12.000 --> 01:35:14.920
but God, we thank you for additional marriages to come,

1242
01:35:14.920 --> 01:35:17.880
engagements to come, relationships happening,

1243
01:35:17.880 --> 01:35:20.120
and connections that people are just like,

1244
01:35:20.120 --> 01:35:22.360
man, I didn't know it could be this good.

1245
01:35:22.360 --> 01:35:23.280
So God, I thank you.

1246
01:35:23.280 --> 01:35:24.920
I thank you for all of those things,

1247
01:35:24.920 --> 01:35:27.240
and we believe them and we receive them.

1248
01:35:27.240 --> 01:35:29.740
In Jesus' name, amen.

1249
01:35:29.780 --> 01:35:30.780
God bless you all.

1250
01:35:30.780 --> 01:35:32.780
I hope you have a great night, everyone.

1251
01:35:32.780 --> 01:35:33.980
See you again soon.

1252
01:35:33.980 --> 01:35:34.820
Bye-bye.

1253
01:35:34.820 --> 01:35:35.640
God bless.

1254
01:35:35.640 --> 01:35:36.480
Thank you, Bethany.