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Welcome, welcome, welcome, ladies. It is May 12th. This is your live one o'clock Eastern

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session for phase two, Love Story Accelerator. I'm Carla Johnson. I almost said my maiden

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name for a second there. I am one of the coaches here at Last Year Single. If you do not know

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me and you're brand new here, welcome. So, so grateful to have you here with us. If you

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are new here, which I see just a couple ladies on with us right now, but if you are brand

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new to phase two, just go ahead and raise your avatar hand just so I can see. I see

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Megan and Peggy. You are here. I know my girl, Karen, Teresa, and Kelly. They're all girls

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I recognize. I've got Sarah here as well. So good to see you all. But yes, oh, there's

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Sarah. Yes, I remember Sarah. Yes, she's in her car. I love it. I love seeing your faces.

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So definitely come on camera. I know Karen came a moment ago and said she's still eating.

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So if you're eating, that's fine. I get it. Totally understandable. Megan, so, so glad

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to have you with us. So yeah, I'm one of the coaches here. Oh, hey girl. Love the hat.

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Love the hat. And then Peggy. Peggy's got a hat. Look at her. She's like out walking.

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She's getting some sun there. I love it. Fantastic. Awesome. So yeah, I'm one of your coaches

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here at Last Year Single. I've been with Jackie since basically the start five years ago,

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I was a student of hers, single myself. So been through all of it.

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Been through the roller coaster, the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows.

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So I can relate on so many levels. I did end up meeting my spirit mate. We've been

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married now under three years, about two and a half years. We are blending a family. And

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yes, so I have all the preparation that you will need for marriage. I got all that wisdom.

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So I know what it's like to be single and like, not know what to expect. And then now I am in it.

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And so I can help prepare you ladies. So I hope that is encouraging for you.

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But I was never married when I first joined Jackie. I did have, I was a single mama.

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So I did have a younger son when I came to find Jackie. He was, he was about five years old.

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He had just turned five. And so then, and now he's 10. Can't believe it. He's going to be 11

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here in a couple months. So I can relate on that level. Never been married, single mom.

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I got married at 40. So you ladies that maybe you're like, you feel like you're running out

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of time. Like, I definitely felt that, especially if you felt like, oh, I wanted to have more kids.

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Or, you know, even the whole blending family, being like, you know, in my 40,

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like going into my forties, but I know it all like, like the whole, wait, do I want kids?

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Do I not want kids? I want more kids, but I don't know if I can have more kids, all of that. So,

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and then just how God just really unfolded a love story that I wasn't expecting.

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And the process of that as well. And so you'll hear Jackie often say like,

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God's promises often come with a process and I've been through that. So I want that to be

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an encouragement because I know that the enemy oftentimes wants to kind of creep in and get us

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kind of sabotaging ourselves with our own, like, but I thought it was going to happen this way.

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And, and, you know, God is such a beautiful author and he's so intentional with his love stories.

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And after being in this community for five years and seeing so many love stories unfold,

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let me tell you, like, they are incredible. So that is just to give you a little bit of

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encouragement. I'm going to go ahead and just do a couple of housekeeping items, not long,

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and then pray us in and we'll get started. So yeah, if you are brand new, I definitely want

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you to definitely check out and get familiar with the tabs in the app,

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especially like the resource tab, the event tab, the content tab.

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of all of that, the replay,

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definitely get yourself familiar.

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And then this goes for all of you ladies,

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just to kind of, it's always good to refresh yourself

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with the last year single guidelines.

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And so I recognize that they're not in our phase two content

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but you should have access to them from phase one heartwork.

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Okay, and so that is under your content under heartwork

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and you'll find it under the welcome session.

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When you click on content

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and then it will be under Royal rules, okay?

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It is just really helpful to revisit that from time to time.

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Those guidelines are in place to kind of create,

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not kind of, it is there to create a safe space.

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This community is really, really special because of that.

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And it's, we're here to keep that space protected

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and safe because vulnerability does create connection.

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And that is so important in this process.

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And that connection really does support healing.

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And so our focus is heartwork and singleness

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and it's personal growth, it's faith, it's relationships.

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It's that healing and all of that stuff

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is going to prepare you for marriage

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and just help you step into that.

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And so it really is important for us

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to just keep that centered

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on what we really do cherish here in this community.

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It's why this community I believe is as successful as it is

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is because there is such an intentionality

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of keeping this space sacred.

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And it really does allow for you all to open up

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and feel like this is a space for you

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to be able to be vulnerable and share.

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And I will tell you, I mean,

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especially having been in this community for five years

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and witnessing several women who have struggled at times

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that coming out of hiding,

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really having a hard time getting vulnerable,

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whether it's because they've got some old past wounds

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from not feeling accepted and feeling rejected

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and in life at early ages and stages and in relationships

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and even with friendships, that was me.

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I struggled a lot with my identity,

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especially in relationships with women.

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And so having a community like this

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where it was safe for me to open up

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and to be vulnerable and to be real and to be accepted

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at just where I was at really did help my healing process.

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And it allowed me to kind of stretch myself.

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And so that is really, really important.

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And so I hope that, I wasn't even gonna share this today.

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So this is just Holy Spirit.

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If that is speaking to you in your heart,

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if you are someone that just really does struggle

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with being seen, you feel like you're,

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that just this need to maybe be in hiding,

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maybe not putting your camera on

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or speaking out and getting vulnerable,

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I just want to open that space for you.

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And I wanna share with you, you're not alone.

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And it is something that we value here.

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And so I want you to feel safe.

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I want you to feel heard.

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I want you to feel seen and understood.

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And so, yeah, like I said,

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that was not in my notes to even cover.

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So that must be Holy Spirit.

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So somebody that's speaking to somebody, all right.

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So I, so definitely been time of my life.

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So Holy Spirit on that, share with us,

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whatever's speaking with you.

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But yes, definitely get familiar in the app.

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It kind of goes along a little bit

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with kind of what we're gonna talk about today.

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And it really spoke, this topic spoke to me

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because of Jackie's Supernatural Saturday.

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She talked a lot about mother wounds and healing that.

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And so it just really brought up a lot about rejection.

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And wanting to be validated.

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So that is kind of the teaching for today.

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And so that probably ties in a little bit

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with that needing to be vulnerable.

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So I'll go ahead and pray for us and we'll get started on that so Heavenly

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Father I just thank you. I thank you for each and every one of the women here

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today. You know we invite you in this space today Lord. We invite your presence

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here. I thank you that you meet us exactly where we are and not where we

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think we should be but just right where we are. We don't have to strive. We don't

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have to perform. We just have to be in your presence. So I just invite you into

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this teaching and I ask that you gently quiet any noise of self-judgment or

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comparison any sort of emotional overwhelm that we might be experiencing

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especially anything from this past weekend that might be dredging up as you

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know holidays often sometimes can can bring up you know just those emotional

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wounds in us Lord but just meet us there. Comfort us in those spaces. Bring us

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peace Lord. Help us to become aware of what is truth.

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What is your truth and what is a feeling? There's a difference. There's a

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difference between what is a feeling and what is a truth. Lord teach us to pause

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before we attach identity to any emotion that we feel. Help us to recognize when

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our hearts are speaking from old wounds, old stories, old agreements, lies that

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we've you know attached to ourselves that just don't align with what you say

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about us. You know Lord I ask for your grace today. Remove any pressure. There's

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no striving here just awareness and openness Lord. Let the space be where

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your truth becomes more familiar than than assumptions and where your voice

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becomes clearer than anything in our own heads that creates any sort of inner

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confusion Lord. We're to just we give this time to you in Jesus name Amen.

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All right got some ladies joining us. I got a few on camera. If you're able to be

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with us on camera definitely want to see your beautiful faces. We got 15 of us on

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including myself. So yeah today I got in my notes here. I want to just do a brief

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teaching on this topic of divine rejection, pain, and identity

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mislabeling. Okay and so my goal is to be pretty brief with this. Hopefully

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let's see it's 12 14 now. My goal is going to be to be finished. Let's see

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let's give me 20 minutes, 20-25 minutes. How about that? Sound good? All right so

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I'm gonna move pretty quick. I know I can talk pretty fast so do your best to take

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notes. Okay but remember this is always in replay so you can always go back and

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watch it in replay if you need to kind of jot some more things down. So one of

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the most important things in this community is to learn that not everything

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you feel is who you are. I think last week I was talking to you ladies about

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how I'm a very emotional person. I'm a feeler. Okay and that's one thing even in

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in this community that helped me recognize my identity was something that

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I really needed to focus on. But it will help you prepare you for marriage because

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even in marriage I've recognized just how easy it is for my feelings to kind

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of take over. Sarah Shell, she knows. She's been married. She knows and she's

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a feeler with me. Okay and that's one thing like my husband is always he this

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is one thing that he's said and in the beginning it used to kind of rub me the

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wrong way. He used to tell me feelings are fleeting. They're not facts. Feelings

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aren't facts and I would just like to me it sounded very dismissive and y'all

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have had to do some work on that. But I now understand like his heart behind it

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and God's heart behind bringing me a man that was going to you know strut

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me in this area. Y'all it's a stretching, your marriages will

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stretch you and it's good thing. Okay. God's in it. God knows

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exactly what you need. All right. And so not everything you

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feel is who you are, and it's not always a fact. And so that

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is something that is something really catch hold of. I think

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it's a really, really good lesson to just take. If you

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could capture that now in that in this single season, I really

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truly believe that it will help you in that season of marriage

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when God has that for you, because he does ladies, get

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ready. He's got marriage for you. All right. So rejection,

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pain, emotional discomfort, discomfort, those are just

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experiences. They're not identity statements. Okay. Keep

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that in mind. All right. So when we know how to take those

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emotions and those feelings, and interpret them, we can turn

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those, like, into something that can guide us towards healing,

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instead of turning those moments into labels. It's about learning

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how to interpret those emotions and feelings instead of

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misinterpreting them and attaching a label to them. Okay.

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So divine rejection, it's not identity rejection at all. Like

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we often say like divine rejection is like God's

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protection. It's often just a redirection for your protection.

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So we don't just feel rejection, we become it in our language,

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unfortunately. Like, I'm sure everyone on here has some story,

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some moment where they can probably put in the chat, a time

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a time where you felt rejected. And it hurt. Y'all, I got

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handfuls of those stories. Right? One of mine that I know

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Jackie's even shared, you know, before, you know, was, I was a

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single mom. My son's dad left me seven months pregnant. We

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weren't married. You know, you want to talk about some

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rejection. Oh, you got your hormones going. You pregnant.

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All right. And then you're not married. And you're going to

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church. And then you go to church. And you're like, oh,

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that relationship that I thought was like God and so beautiful.

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And oh, look, I stepped out of alignment with God. And you

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know, now I'm falling to pieces. I mean, talk about feeling

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rejected from, you know, stepping into a church. Oh, my

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gosh. Y'all, I felt rejection from all sides. It really,

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really, like, I then began like, playing into that really had

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something to say about me. And it was really attaching to old

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beliefs, old patterns, old wounds that I picked up from

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childhood and old relationships that I had been in. And, you

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know, things from my past and in childhood and rejections with

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friends and high school. And well, y'all middle school just

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taught my daughter, she's got what is today we've got Tuesday,

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my kids have six more days left of school. And my daughter gets

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out of eighth grade, and she gets to be a freshman high

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school. And I'm like celebrating that I have three kids. And not

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a single one of them is in middle school. And I'm just

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like, Oh, praise the Lord. I was telling one of the the moms that

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my youngest is baseball. I'm like, I am just so excited. I

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don't have to like sit in middle school years with a kid next

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year. Because I don't watch you all but middle school. Oh, my

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goodness. Everybody I always talk to no, yes. No, but like,

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no one like, I feel like everybody has horror stories

225
00:19:46.120 --> 00:19:50.600
from middle school, especially as girls, I guess women. And so

226
00:19:50.840 --> 00:19:55.360
I am like, so excited that I don't have to do that. And so,

227
00:19:56.120 --> 00:19:59.680
you know, I have a lot of that from you know, my past, like the

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00:19:59.680 --> 00:19:59.960
middle

229
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.600
school, the high school years, the friendships, the relationships, all of that stuff.

230
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And so, you know, I get into this relationship that I thought was, was God.

231
00:20:10.360 --> 00:20:15.120
I thought God was bringing me this, you know, man that was family oriented, wanted,

232
00:20:15.160 --> 00:20:19.400
you know, wanted a family, you know, at the time he was attending church.

233
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Y'all, and then I stepped out of alignment and, you know, I didn't see, you know, I

234
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:34.960
was in my own wounds and my own stuff and got into this relationship.

235
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And then it just started like exploding.

236
00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:42.320
I was at, like, I was in my stuff.

237
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:49.760
Like I, it was, you know, I could go on and on, but I felt a lot of rejection.

238
00:20:50.840 --> 00:20:56.360
And then it kept me from wanting to even date at all that I was like, Nope, just

239
00:20:56.360 --> 00:20:57.760
going to focus on being a single mama.

240
00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:01.200
Y'all, and then 2020 happened.

241
00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:09.920
I was like, and then I found Jackie's Facebook ad and I was like, uh, I like

242
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:11.160
what she's saying here.

243
00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:12.720
It resonates with me.

244
00:21:13.240 --> 00:21:18.200
Um, don't know about all of it, but there was something intriguing about it.

245
00:21:18.200 --> 00:21:23.000
And so I joined her, her community and, you know, got a lot of healing and

246
00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:24.160
very, very thankful for it.

247
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:33.640
So, um, but yeah, like we, we take this feeling of rejection and it becomes our

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language.

249
00:21:35.320 --> 00:21:42.200
So instead of, you know, of it saying I experienced a no, we come to this

250
00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:52.480
conclusion of I'm not chosen, I'm behind, I'm not enough, but what that actually

251
00:21:52.520 --> 00:21:59.200
is, that no is a divine rejection is actually protection, timing, and

252
00:21:59.200 --> 00:22:03.000
formation often is what it is.

253
00:22:05.080 --> 00:22:11.000
And so what it means practically is a delay is not your identity.

254
00:22:11.960 --> 00:22:18.120
A closed door is not your worth and a not yet is not a statement about you.

255
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:27.960
It's not proof of your unworthiness, a reflection of value or an identity label.

256
00:22:29.960 --> 00:22:30.480
Okay.

257
00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:34.440
Pain is not who you are.

258
00:22:36.040 --> 00:22:38.800
How many of you listen to supernatural Saturday?

259
00:22:41.320 --> 00:22:42.920
Two hands, a little avatar hands up.

260
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:45.600
I know I got Sarah shell and Sarah got, I know you got questions.

261
00:22:49.720 --> 00:22:50.120
Okay.

262
00:22:50.640 --> 00:22:51.560
Peggy Kelly.

263
00:22:51.560 --> 00:22:53.800
You guys got to listen to supernatural Saturday.

264
00:22:56.520 --> 00:22:57.320
Megan did too.

265
00:22:57.320 --> 00:22:58.040
That's good.

266
00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:58.720
Patty.

267
00:22:58.760 --> 00:22:59.400
Awesome.

268
00:23:01.960 --> 00:23:02.680
Yes.

269
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:04.160
Sarah shell.

270
00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:05.880
It triggered something in me too.

271
00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:14.440
Y'all like, I thought I did the healing with like my mom and some wounds for my

272
00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:19.440
mom and my, my parents really, you know, my mom, I knew I had wounds for my mom

273
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:23.160
and I have some rooms for my dad, but I, you know, I was in heartwork five years

274
00:23:23.160 --> 00:23:25.800
ago and that was where a lot of my heartwork started.

275
00:23:26.520 --> 00:23:32.480
I worked through a lot of my parental stuff and I, you know, I sit there and

276
00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:35.520
think, well, Oh, I've gone through that healing with them.

277
00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:44.000
I don't have that ache, that grief anymore, but there was something else

278
00:23:44.040 --> 00:23:51.280
that unfolded that surfaced in that session in that supernatural Saturday.

279
00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:54.560
I was like, Oh my goodness.

280
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.480
And then I even had a conversation with Bethany and I kind of joked with her

281
00:23:59.480 --> 00:24:04.000
cause you know, Bethany and I, you know, we, we were in heartwork together.

282
00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:07.160
She came in a little bit after me, just a couple months after me.

283
00:24:08.120 --> 00:24:14.680
And I always hear Bethany's voice cause she had to tell me this over and over

284
00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:16.640
again, and you'll hear me say it.

285
00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:21.320
I know y'all probably heard Bethany say it in phase one, but healing

286
00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:24.200
and forgiveness comes in layers.

287
00:24:26.320 --> 00:24:29.000
And so I'm listening to supernatural Saturday.

288
00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:30.840
I'm listening to Jackie and all this is coming.

289
00:24:30.840 --> 00:24:36.520
It's like rushing over and I'm like, healing and forgiveness comes in layers.

290
00:24:36.520 --> 00:24:38.240
I'm like, Oh yeah.

291
00:24:38.440 --> 00:24:40.040
Oh yeah.

292
00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:43.440
Ooh, I got some stuff to work through with the Holy spirit.

293
00:24:44.040 --> 00:24:47.240
Um, and so, yeah, like it was really good.

294
00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:50.640
So ladies, those of you that didn't raise your hands and didn't listen to it, please

295
00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:57.120
do, and I don't want it to, if, if the whole mother's mother's day stuff and

296
00:24:57.120 --> 00:25:00.040
some of that kind of triggers you.

297
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.700
I don't want that to make you resistant to go in and listen to it.

298
00:25:05.700 --> 00:25:09.200
I really do want you to just push through it.

299
00:25:09.600 --> 00:25:12.900
I mean, even if you have to just listen to a little bits and pieces and like

300
00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:17.500
pause it and sit with the Lord with it, get some tears out, whatever it is.

301
00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:19.400
It will be healing.

302
00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:20.400
I promise you.

303
00:25:20.900 --> 00:25:21.300
Okay.

304
00:25:21.300 --> 00:25:22.900
So, all right, let me jump back in.

305
00:25:22.900 --> 00:25:26.100
Cause I want to, I want to stay on, on, on a time here.

306
00:25:26.300 --> 00:25:28.200
Keep in mind, pain is just information.

307
00:25:28.200 --> 00:25:29.100
It's not your identity.

308
00:25:29.500 --> 00:25:29.700
Okay.

309
00:25:29.700 --> 00:25:31.100
You're going to hear me say this often.

310
00:25:31.100 --> 00:25:33.000
It's not, it has nothing to do with identity.

311
00:25:34.500 --> 00:25:39.800
But many of us are conditioned to turn our pain into identity.

312
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:42.500
Okay.

313
00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:46.600
So the, I feel rejected becomes, I am rejected.

314
00:25:46.700 --> 00:25:48.300
We turn it into, I am statements.

315
00:25:49.300 --> 00:25:51.600
I feel anxious, turns into, I'm unsafe.

316
00:25:52.700 --> 00:25:54.700
And I feel unsafe.

317
00:25:54.700 --> 00:25:58.500
And I feel unseen means I'm, I am unwanted.

318
00:25:59.800 --> 00:26:02.600
We turn the feelings into, I am statements.

319
00:26:05.100 --> 00:26:06.700
Y'all, I do that a lot.

320
00:26:06.700 --> 00:26:07.400
I happen.

321
00:26:07.400 --> 00:26:15.600
One of my struggles is I often feel like I am not seen or understood or worthy

322
00:26:15.600 --> 00:26:16.600
or valuable.

323
00:26:18.900 --> 00:26:22.600
That's one of those things in my identity that I have struggled with for

324
00:26:22.600 --> 00:26:23.700
years.

325
00:26:24.500 --> 00:26:26.200
And so that creeps in.

326
00:26:27.600 --> 00:26:31.700
And again, that supernatural Saturday coming and bringing it to the, like,

327
00:26:31.700 --> 00:26:38.400
oh, these are mother wounds and really learning where that, that, that is.

328
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:42.200
It, it opens it up for me to actually get that healing.

329
00:26:43.300 --> 00:26:44.900
It's just a signal.

330
00:26:46.500 --> 00:26:47.900
To something being revealed.

331
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:49.800
That's all pain is ladies.

332
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:51.500
It's just a signal.

333
00:26:52.500 --> 00:26:55.600
It's not an absolute statement.

334
00:26:55.700 --> 00:26:58.300
It's not a defining statement.

335
00:26:58.300 --> 00:27:04.800
It is just a sing, a signal, an invitation, a moment for God to rewrite

336
00:27:05.600 --> 00:27:06.700
an agreement.

337
00:27:09.100 --> 00:27:15.300
All right, somewhere in my past, I made an agreement with that.

338
00:27:15.800 --> 00:27:24.000
And then I utilized all these moments where I felt something to validate what

339
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.000
I came into agreement with.

340
00:27:28.600 --> 00:27:34.900
And so now it's an invitation for me to sit with Holy Spirit and invite Holy

341
00:27:35.500 --> 00:27:37.900
Spirit to show me.

342
00:27:38.900 --> 00:27:39.700
Okay.

343
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:44.200
Help me see where I.

344
00:27:45.300 --> 00:27:48.700
I was feeling something and attached my identity to it.

345
00:27:48.700 --> 00:27:53.900
Help me come out of alignment with that and replace it with your truth Lord

346
00:27:54.800 --> 00:27:55.200
ladies.

347
00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:59.600
You have to replace the lies you do.

348
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:01.000
Okay.

349
00:28:04.900 --> 00:28:08.900
Because you are not your emotional response.

350
00:28:10.100 --> 00:28:13.700
So I have to remind myself of that so often.

351
00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:21.100
This is a layer that I'm really getting into that deeper place with and so I

352
00:28:21.100 --> 00:28:25.400
really I really think this is this is helpful for a lot of you.

353
00:28:27.100 --> 00:28:29.600
It will it will unlock so much for you.

354
00:28:29.600 --> 00:28:30.500
I trust me.

355
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:35.400
So now we're going to talk about that attachment and that mother wound lens.

356
00:28:35.800 --> 00:28:42.400
So early relational wounds can train us to mislabel present experiences.

357
00:28:43.800 --> 00:28:47.600
So our current relationships will get filtered through old patterns.

358
00:28:48.900 --> 00:28:52.200
So the anxiety will become like I'm too much.

359
00:28:54.400 --> 00:28:59.300
Like I feel that often because I'm a feeler and get really really anxious.

360
00:29:00.300 --> 00:29:00.900
Okay.

361
00:29:02.700 --> 00:29:04.400
Occasionally, I'll shut down.

362
00:29:06.800 --> 00:29:08.600
Because it's like if I'm too much.

363
00:29:09.500 --> 00:29:12.800
Then I'm just gonna if I shut down then I'll avoid it.

364
00:29:14.900 --> 00:29:19.800
You know, I don't need anybody then I go into this independence.

365
00:29:21.500 --> 00:29:22.100
Okay.

366
00:29:24.100 --> 00:29:25.800
No, not me.

367
00:29:27.900 --> 00:29:28.800
Not at all.

368
00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:31.300
No, not at all.

369
00:29:32.600 --> 00:29:36.600
And then there's this push and pull becomes this is just how love is.

370
00:29:37.600 --> 00:29:38.700
This push pull.

371
00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:40.800
It's this it's this dance.

372
00:29:40.800 --> 00:29:42.600
This is game that that's what that is.

373
00:29:42.600 --> 00:29:46.000
And y'all that's not really what God intended that to be.

374
00:29:46.900 --> 00:29:50.700
And so what's actually happening is your nervous system is just remembering.

375
00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:54.800
Old past experiences.

376
00:29:55.500 --> 00:29:57.100
It's not just responding.

377
00:29:57.100 --> 00:29:59.000
It's for it's remembering old things.

378
00:29:59.300 --> 00:30:00.100
It's

379
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.240
So you're interpreting what's happening in the present

380
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:07.040
through a past experience.

381
00:30:07.040 --> 00:30:09.680
And so the healing is now like it's

382
00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:16.120
learning how to pause before assigning meaning to something

383
00:30:16.120 --> 00:30:20.120
and separate the now from what was going on then

384
00:30:20.120 --> 00:30:24.520
and letting God rewire your sense of safety

385
00:30:24.520 --> 00:30:27.600
and remind you that none of this is your identity.

386
00:30:27.600 --> 00:30:29.040
It's simply what's being healed.

387
00:30:35.520 --> 00:30:41.240
Did anybody do the Clarity Challenge?

388
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:42.760
I just posted mine today.

389
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:48.880
Sarah, did you do the Clarity Challenge?

390
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:50.000
You can unmute.

391
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:51.360
I did.

392
00:30:51.360 --> 00:30:55.720
I observed somebody this week, but I didn't actually

393
00:30:55.720 --> 00:30:57.080
take it and post it online.

394
00:30:57.080 --> 00:31:00.520
But I did observe.

395
00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:01.640
Stay with that, ladies.

396
00:31:01.640 --> 00:31:03.200
Go back to that Clarity Challenge

397
00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:09.160
because I think this kind of really does this kind of,

398
00:31:09.160 --> 00:31:12.880
what's the word I'm looking for, kind of overflows

399
00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:18.640
into this week, all right?

400
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:20.600
Like, I was really recognizing.

401
00:31:20.600 --> 00:31:22.080
I'm like, oh my goodness.

402
00:31:22.080 --> 00:31:25.680
I really, I was recognizing where

403
00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:27.200
and what kind of relationships do

404
00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:29.880
I feel a lot of anxiousness, a lot of pressure,

405
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:31.360
a lot of intensity.

406
00:31:31.360 --> 00:31:33.640
And oftentimes, it's in these spaces

407
00:31:33.640 --> 00:31:35.320
where I feel like I have to take charge.

408
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:39.600
And y'all, let me tell you.

409
00:31:39.600 --> 00:31:45.400
When you're a mom of three kids and they've got teenagers,

410
00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:47.880
busy, busy, busy, I feel like I always

411
00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:50.680
have to take charge with my kids and my household.

412
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:53.040
That's not a place where I really

413
00:31:53.040 --> 00:31:55.800
want to feel the pressure and intensity.

414
00:31:55.800 --> 00:31:58.240
And then when you feel that, guess what?

415
00:31:58.240 --> 00:32:03.440
Your house, we are the ones, like us females,

416
00:32:03.440 --> 00:32:12.600
the feminine really does define and set the tone for our home.

417
00:32:12.600 --> 00:32:15.880
And I'm like, whoa, I need to figure out

418
00:32:15.880 --> 00:32:17.080
where this comes from.

419
00:32:17.080 --> 00:32:21.040
And I was sitting, and again, Supernatural Saturday really

420
00:32:21.040 --> 00:32:24.160
did unlock a lot of this, that I went back

421
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:26.160
and I saw, oh my goodness, this really

422
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:30.000
is tied to some of those mom wounds

423
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:33.480
and even some of the wounds that I had for my dad as well.

424
00:32:33.480 --> 00:32:35.320
I mean, there's a combination there

425
00:32:35.320 --> 00:32:41.720
where I felt like I had to take on responsibilities

426
00:32:41.720 --> 00:32:45.440
because no one else did.

427
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:50.360
I was a kid, yet I had to be the one that

428
00:32:50.360 --> 00:32:52.400
was the mature, responsible one.

429
00:32:56.280 --> 00:33:03.160
I remember kind of not realizing it when I was younger,

430
00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:06.880
and I came to the awareness when I was 19 years old.

431
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:11.760
And so when I was younger, I had no clue.

432
00:33:11.760 --> 00:33:13.960
It felt just like, well, this is life.

433
00:33:13.960 --> 00:33:16.280
This is normal.

434
00:33:16.280 --> 00:33:24.600
My parents and my mom would use drugs in front of us.

435
00:33:24.600 --> 00:33:27.120
I'm not talking about hardcore drugs,

436
00:33:27.120 --> 00:33:31.160
but they would smoke pot in front of us.

437
00:33:31.160 --> 00:33:34.760
Talk about parents being checked out.

438
00:33:34.760 --> 00:33:39.440
I'd always wonder, why is it that my mom would smoke this?

439
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:43.800
She'd only smoke from this one little thing.

440
00:33:43.800 --> 00:33:47.080
My mom didn't like my dad smoking cigarettes,

441
00:33:47.080 --> 00:33:50.040
but then she participated in smoking with my dad

442
00:33:50.040 --> 00:33:51.680
through this one little thing.

443
00:33:51.680 --> 00:33:52.920
I was so little.

444
00:33:52.920 --> 00:33:55.280
I'd be in the backseat of the car,

445
00:33:55.280 --> 00:33:57.440
and my mom would be smoking.

446
00:33:57.440 --> 00:33:59.600
And I'm like, but this didn't make sense to me

447
00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:02.640
because she'd complain about my dad smoking cigarettes,

448
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:05.640
but for some reason, there'd be times that she'd be smoking.

449
00:34:09.520 --> 00:34:12.520
And at 19, I found the little thing of what it was.

450
00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:16.600
By 19, I knew what that was.

451
00:34:16.600 --> 00:34:22.000
And I'm like, oh, my word.

452
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:24.360
Now, she did it throughout my whole childhood,

453
00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:27.000
but I remember being really, really young,

454
00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:29.159
being in a car seat, in the backseat of a car

455
00:34:29.159 --> 00:34:30.080
with my older brother.

456
00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:36.360
I mean, I have a vivid memory of that.

457
00:34:36.360 --> 00:34:38.239
And I'm like, oh, my gosh.

458
00:34:39.040 --> 00:34:43.719
Like, that reality at 19 of like,

459
00:34:43.719 --> 00:34:49.280
my mom was getting high in the car

460
00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:50.679
with me and my brother in the backseat,

461
00:34:50.679 --> 00:34:53.760
and my dad was driving and doing that.

462
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:57.080
I'm like, well, no wonder I feel like I

463
00:34:57.080 --> 00:34:58.920
had to be the responsible one.

464
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:08.520
Oh my goodness, and so there's some healing that comes, so now I can understand why there

465
00:35:08.520 --> 00:35:13.680
is this intensity and pressure every time I feel like I have to take charge and be responsible

466
00:35:13.680 --> 00:35:19.280
because my body is reminding myself back when I was younger.

467
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:20.280
I was a kid.

468
00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:21.280
I didn't know better.

469
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:28.200
I didn't know how to handle those situations, so it's normal to probably be a child at like

470
00:35:28.200 --> 00:35:35.560
three, four years old and probably have needs that need to be met and not know how to get

471
00:35:35.560 --> 00:35:38.520
those needs met and being a little anxious about it.

472
00:35:38.520 --> 00:35:44.760
I had an older brother who was five years older than me, was probably trying to help,

473
00:35:44.760 --> 00:35:47.440
but he had a severe ADHD.

474
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:51.640
My older brother used to beat up on me.

475
00:35:51.640 --> 00:36:05.160
So imagine how I was taking that and now forming these belief systems and how that now transformed

476
00:36:05.160 --> 00:36:10.320
my relationships into adulthood, okay?

477
00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:17.880
And so those all came from those mom wounds, those parent wounds, and now I get to kind

478
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:26.920
of go sit with Holy Spirit and I get to invite him into this process and just be like, you

479
00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:29.560
know, be with me in this.

480
00:36:29.560 --> 00:36:38.000
Sit with me as that little three and four-year-old girl, and that's where I get to sit and take

481
00:36:38.000 --> 00:36:45.360
on that healing, and I get to, so when I'm in those moments of intensity and that feeling

482
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:54.960
wants to come back up again, when I can catch it, I get to sit there and remember, no, that's

483
00:36:54.960 --> 00:36:57.920
not who I am.

484
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:06.560
I get to have that invitation with Holy Spirit, and so I get to now have that core shift from

485
00:37:06.560 --> 00:37:12.480
an identity label to an emotional awareness now, and so that's what I want to help you

486
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:14.960
ladies uncover.

487
00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:24.560
So the maturity shift is simple and powerful.

488
00:37:24.560 --> 00:37:28.640
It just takes some vulnerability, okay?

489
00:37:28.640 --> 00:37:37.440
So instead of what does this say about me, you're going to ask, what am I feeling right

490
00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:40.240
now?

491
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:45.520
What story am I attaching it to?

492
00:37:45.520 --> 00:37:51.200
And is this truth or an interpretation?

493
00:37:51.200 --> 00:37:54.800
This is hard work, ladies.

494
00:37:54.800 --> 00:38:02.840
You will continue to do hard work your whole life, and as you're stepping into this phase

495
00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:08.560
and you're getting out and dating or you're even entertaining the idea or thought of dating,

496
00:38:08.640 --> 00:38:13.840
whatever feelings are surfacing, okay?

497
00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:20.720
Because I know some ladies, y'all, I didn't date for the first year, okay?

498
00:38:20.720 --> 00:38:25.360
So the whole like challenge to date, I was like, Jackie, you ain't doing that.

499
00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:28.240
What are you talking about?

500
00:38:28.240 --> 00:38:31.440
You know, and I, you know, I was, it was out of fear.

501
00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:37.120
A lot of it was out of fear, but a lot of it too was because God also knew I needed

502
00:38:37.120 --> 00:38:39.360
to really work on my identity.

503
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:44.800
He really wanted to come in and comfort me, and he also knew how stubborn I was.

504
00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:50.480
Y'all, I'm a controller, all right?

505
00:38:50.480 --> 00:38:54.160
Sarah Shell's laughing because she knows.

506
00:38:54.160 --> 00:38:55.680
I've admitted it, okay?

507
00:38:55.680 --> 00:38:57.440
Y'all can laugh, all right?

508
00:38:57.440 --> 00:38:59.920
I'm not going to hide it, okay?

509
00:38:59.920 --> 00:39:01.920
This is a safe space.

510
00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:08.000
I will safely and vulnerably share with you my walk, my testimony, all right?

511
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:11.920
I have nothing to hide from you ladies, all right?

512
00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:19.760
My walk, I share this because when people share things with me, it's helped my healing,

513
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:28.080
and so I will be transparent with you all because my heart is to hopefully give you

514
00:39:28.160 --> 00:39:32.160
encouragement to help you in your growth.

515
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:44.320
That's my heart because I know that's what I've needed, and so it's my, it's the least

516
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:51.120
I can do for what God has done for me and what he's, you know, who he's brought in my

517
00:39:51.120 --> 00:39:54.800
life, so that's my heart.

518
00:39:54.800 --> 00:39:59.920
But yeah, like, that was my story.

519
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.240
story, for sure. I would definitely, you know, attach a

520
00:40:07.240 --> 00:40:12.640
lot of that stuff. You know, I was stubborn and, you know,

521
00:40:12.640 --> 00:40:17.360
controlling and all these things. And so God was just

522
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:22.280
like, okay, I'm only a little time with this one. She got to

523
00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:25.920
really get some comfort here. I need her to understand who she

524
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:32.920
is in me and start breaking alignment with the lies that she

525
00:40:32.920 --> 00:40:38.960
picked up along the way. And so I was pretty resistant in that

526
00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:47.160
first year of being in this program. Okay, so just know I'm

527
00:40:47.160 --> 00:40:52.120
there. All right, I've been there. So wherever you're at,

528
00:40:52.120 --> 00:40:54.920
whether you're, you know, you just stepped in, and you're not

529
00:40:54.920 --> 00:40:58.560
quite yet dating yet, or you're, you know, you're some

530
00:40:58.600 --> 00:41:00.880
emotions and some feelings are surfacing, because you're

531
00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:04.400
thinking about it, you're scared to start a dating, there's some

532
00:41:04.400 --> 00:41:07.520
discouragement, you're dating, and then some of these guys are

533
00:41:07.520 --> 00:41:10.560
just like, giving you the heebie-jeebies wherever you're

534
00:41:10.560 --> 00:41:17.480
at. Take these feelings and these emotional responses, and

535
00:41:17.480 --> 00:41:22.480
allow them to be invitations. Okay. All right. I'm definitely

536
00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:26.160
coming up on time. I think I'm hitting at like, 30 minutes. So

537
00:41:26.160 --> 00:41:30.200
I went a little bit over. So I'm going to close out with this

538
00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:35.240
truth. Rejection is not your identity. Pain is not your

539
00:41:35.240 --> 00:41:41.280
identity. Discomfort is not your identity. They're experiences

540
00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:46.840
and not definitions. God is not speaking your worth through what

541
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:55.640
hurts you. He is forming you through what surfaces. You are

542
00:41:55.640 --> 00:42:04.400
not what you feel. But you are who he says you are. Okay. So

543
00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:09.840
I'm going to open the floor up to your questions. I do have an

544
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:15.680
activation for you ladies this week. I will probably

545
00:42:15.680 --> 00:42:23.480
hardstop us at 1.30. Well, it'll be 2.30 Eastern. I'm in

546
00:42:23.480 --> 00:42:29.360
central time. That's why I'm saying 1.30. And then, so

547
00:42:29.360 --> 00:42:37.360
actually, I'll hardstop us at 2.25. So do you want me to get

548
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:40.920
the activation first? Okay, let me do that. And then we'll open

549
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:43.640
it up. And then we'll still hardstop though. And then I'll

550
00:42:43.640 --> 00:42:46.640
post it in the app as well. I'll just literally I'll give

551
00:42:46.640 --> 00:42:51.400
you the whole thing. So if you haven't done the clarity

552
00:42:51.400 --> 00:42:53.840
challenge, I definitely encourage you to do that and

553
00:42:53.840 --> 00:43:00.760
post it. Again, sharing our wins, and what we reveal will

554
00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:05.040
help others as well. That's why this program and this community

555
00:43:05.040 --> 00:43:09.800
really does work. I mean, it's why I share my walk with y'all.

556
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:15.680
I share it because when people share with me, it helped me get

557
00:43:15.680 --> 00:43:21.360
breakthrough. And so I know if I got breakthrough, and if I can

558
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:24.880
share that with you all I want like I want to give that to you.

559
00:43:26.480 --> 00:43:30.880
Okay, so it's going to our activation this week, okay, is

560
00:43:30.920 --> 00:43:37.640
seeing yourself through God's eyes. Okay. And so I wanted to

561
00:43:37.640 --> 00:43:41.640
be I wanted to give you ladies, especially ladies that are very

562
00:43:41.640 --> 00:43:46.920
creative. The opportunity to be creative, however you want it.

563
00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:50.280
So I've given you some ideas. But if you if you're creative,

564
00:43:50.280 --> 00:43:52.600
you're if you're creative mind, I want you to be able to take

565
00:43:52.600 --> 00:43:57.160
this wherever you want to. Okay. So this week, you're going to

566
00:43:57.200 --> 00:44:01.840
literally just practice seeing yourself the way God sees you

567
00:44:01.840 --> 00:44:06.640
and not the way that your emotions are describing you. You

568
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:11.920
know, because feelings are real, but they're not our identity. So

569
00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:15.360
instead of trying to figure yourself out, you're simply

570
00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:18.440
going to notice moments where your emotions are trying to

571
00:44:18.440 --> 00:44:22.920
speak louder than truth. So I want you to take notice of when

572
00:44:22.920 --> 00:44:25.760
you're when you're when you're like, Oh, I feel rejected, I

573
00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:29.960
feel unseen, I feel anxious. And I want you to gently remind

574
00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:35.360
yourself, this is a feeling this is not my identity. I want you

575
00:44:35.360 --> 00:44:39.120
to start recognizing and having the awareness of what you're

576
00:44:39.120 --> 00:44:43.920
feeling. And when you start recognizing those feelings, I

577
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:49.360
want you to stop yourself and remind yourself that it is just

578
00:44:49.360 --> 00:44:54.760
a feeling. It's not your identity. So now this is where

579
00:44:54.760 --> 00:44:59.520
the creative expression gets comes in. Okay, so you don't

580
00:44:59.520 --> 00:44:59.880
have to do

581
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.360
Everything on this list, you can choose one or you can come up with your own.

582
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:08.160
First option is a musical reflection.

583
00:45:08.160 --> 00:45:16.720
You can pick a song that reflects who you are becoming in God, not what you feel in

584
00:45:16.720 --> 00:45:17.720
the moment.

585
00:45:17.720 --> 00:45:18.720
Okay?

586
00:45:18.720 --> 00:45:24.720
You just post the song title and the artist and then like, you know, this reminds me that

587
00:45:24.720 --> 00:45:43.800
God sees me as whatever, bold, strong, powerful, cherished, royalty, okay?

588
00:45:43.800 --> 00:45:48.160
Second one, second option, okay, so a song, a song that just you really feel like this

589
00:45:48.160 --> 00:45:49.160
is my anthem.

590
00:45:49.160 --> 00:45:52.960
This is who I am, all right?

591
00:45:53.960 --> 00:45:58.520
So that way sometimes when you're in your feeling, you just go play that song.

592
00:45:58.520 --> 00:46:04.240
I'm a song person, like song, like music is my jam, okay?

593
00:46:04.240 --> 00:46:08.640
So that's why that's, that's why that's a first option.

594
00:46:08.640 --> 00:46:11.800
That's my create, my creative mind, okay?

595
00:46:11.800 --> 00:46:13.160
But I know that's not everybody's.

596
00:46:13.160 --> 00:46:18.520
So second option is a story reflection.

597
00:46:18.520 --> 00:46:25.400
So I want you to think of maybe a character from a book, a movie, Bible story, that, or

598
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:33.120
show, like TV show, and it reflects something beautiful, strong, or redeeming in you.

599
00:46:33.120 --> 00:46:39.240
Share with us that character, what you admire or relate to, and this shows me that God is

600
00:46:39.240 --> 00:46:44.760
growing me in whatever.

601
00:46:44.760 --> 00:46:53.560
I know with some people, God speaks, God speaks through movies in some people, and

602
00:46:53.560 --> 00:46:59.320
so that might, this might be a good one for you, okay?

603
00:46:59.320 --> 00:47:02.840
Third option, you can do a personal truth statement, okay?

604
00:47:02.840 --> 00:47:07.960
Maybe you're just very in touch with writing and words, and this is just gonna be, you're

605
00:47:07.960 --> 00:47:14.280
gonna write a simple identity statement that you feel God is forming in you right now.

606
00:47:14.280 --> 00:47:19.400
So some examples, God sees me as steady and not scattered.

607
00:47:19.400 --> 00:47:23.040
I'm becoming secure and not striving.

608
00:47:23.040 --> 00:47:26.960
I am loved without earning it.

609
00:47:26.960 --> 00:47:31.880
You can post your own version of however you want to do that, or like I said, you can create

610
00:47:31.880 --> 00:47:33.800
your own.

611
00:47:33.800 --> 00:47:39.920
So like a quote, a journal reflection, a verse, a voice note, in, like however you want to

612
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:40.920
get creative.

613
00:47:40.920 --> 00:47:52.440
Literally, I, whatever comes on your heart, do it, okay?

614
00:47:52.440 --> 00:47:56.000
So you're not being asked to perform this week, alright?

615
00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:58.440
You're just being invited to notice.

616
00:47:58.440 --> 00:48:05.040
Notice your feelings and notice, hey, these are my feelings, not my identity, this is

617
00:48:05.040 --> 00:48:07.860
my identity, okay?

618
00:48:07.860 --> 00:48:14.700
Notice when your emotions speak louder than the truth, and then just return to your identity

619
00:48:14.700 --> 00:48:20.020
that's steady, loved, and secured in Him, okay?

620
00:48:20.020 --> 00:48:21.020
How's that sound?

621
00:48:21.020 --> 00:48:22.020
Sound good?

622
00:48:22.020 --> 00:48:31.700
Okay, alright, let's take your questions, all the good things, all the updates, all

623
00:48:31.700 --> 00:48:32.700
the good stuff.

624
00:48:32.700 --> 00:48:33.700
Okay, good.

625
00:48:33.700 --> 00:48:38.860
Laura, I see your hand too, I'm going to take Sarah Shell, I think Sarah Muhlenberg,

626
00:48:38.860 --> 00:48:46.060
she's also had her hand up, so, because Laura, she has, I want to hear your update, but Sarah

627
00:48:46.060 --> 00:48:50.340
Shell, I think you had your hand up first, and then the other Sarah, and then we'll take

628
00:48:50.340 --> 00:48:55.940
Laura, and then anybody else, go ahead and pop your hands up, put some stuff in the chat.

629
00:48:55.940 --> 00:49:00.180
We've got Peggy, she just put her hand up, okay?

630
00:49:00.180 --> 00:49:10.060
We're going to hard stop at, it'll be 2.30, right, 1.30 my time, alright, Sarah Shell,

631
00:49:10.060 --> 00:49:11.060
how are you?

632
00:49:11.060 --> 00:49:15.620
I'm good, super quick, have you ever gotten a response back from the team, in regards

633
00:49:15.620 --> 00:49:24.420
to the question that I asked months ago, and I still have not gotten a, no, yeah, I'm,

634
00:49:24.420 --> 00:49:32.540
I was told that we were, they were supposed to be fixing our admin replies, and I keep

635
00:49:32.540 --> 00:49:45.340
checking in my settings, and it just, nothing is back, okay, so, my apologies, okay, sorry,

636
00:49:45.340 --> 00:49:49.660
but just keep posting, that's why I don't post, I mean, because all my other posts,

637
00:49:49.660 --> 00:49:53.700
they all disappeared, as you know, when the app got changed, so everything got, I don't

638
00:49:53.700 --> 00:49:54.700
like, you know.

639
00:49:54.700 --> 00:50:00.020
Yeah, definitely post, because I don't want that to discourage you from posting at all.

640
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.040
all to get feedback?

641
00:50:02.040 --> 00:50:07.040
Well, it's not just that, it's so cumbersome

642
00:50:07.080 --> 00:50:10.080
to try to then find what people have, you know,

643
00:50:10.080 --> 00:50:14.120
and it's like, I'm not a big social media person

644
00:50:14.120 --> 00:50:16.000
and anything that resonates like that,

645
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:20.520
like a Facebook, whatever, I just don't go with that.

646
00:50:20.520 --> 00:50:24.120
You know, it's like, if it takes me 20 minutes to find,

647
00:50:26.380 --> 00:50:27.220
why?

648
00:50:27.380 --> 00:50:32.380
So, now, and ladies that are on here and you can chime in,

649
00:50:33.260 --> 00:50:36.940
what I have noticed is when I post something,

650
00:50:36.940 --> 00:50:39.220
so if I'm the one that's posted something

651
00:50:40.700 --> 00:50:45.220
and someone comments on it, I do get the notifications now

652
00:50:46.420 --> 00:50:47.880
if I've posted it.

653
00:50:48.700 --> 00:50:53.360
Yeah, but what doesn't happen is if I respond to your post,

654
00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:56.860
you post somebody, or let's say Patty posts something

655
00:50:56.860 --> 00:50:59.460
and I post like an encouragement or whatever,

656
00:50:59.460 --> 00:51:02.700
or like a question to try to have a conversation,

657
00:51:02.700 --> 00:51:07.700
I never get a notification if she responds back.

658
00:51:07.740 --> 00:51:12.380
So, there's like difficult to get the conversation going.

659
00:51:14.520 --> 00:51:17.160
Now, a lot of ladies have been tagging myself

660
00:51:17.160 --> 00:51:20.980
and Ebony in post and I do get notifications

661
00:51:20.980 --> 00:51:22.040
when they tag me.

662
00:51:23.220 --> 00:51:26.420
So, I would encourage, start tagging people.

663
00:51:27.860 --> 00:51:32.780
So, can we practice tagging people when we're responding?

664
00:51:34.020 --> 00:51:35.140
Yeah, I mean, I've done that too.

665
00:51:35.140 --> 00:51:37.860
It's sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, you know?

666
00:51:37.860 --> 00:51:41.500
Let's just get in the habit of doing it

667
00:51:41.500 --> 00:51:44.060
and seeing this way, here's the thing,

668
00:51:44.060 --> 00:51:49.060
the way that we can help the developers of the app

669
00:51:49.860 --> 00:51:52.740
is if we are consistently doing something

670
00:51:52.740 --> 00:51:54.660
and we are noticing sometimes it works

671
00:51:54.660 --> 00:51:56.020
and sometimes it doesn't,

672
00:51:57.100 --> 00:52:00.660
then we get to turn in a ticket and say,

673
00:52:00.660 --> 00:52:04.900
hey, I've been doing this and it works sometimes

674
00:52:04.900 --> 00:52:06.260
and not all the time.

675
00:52:06.260 --> 00:52:08.900
Then they get to go into that system

676
00:52:08.900 --> 00:52:11.460
and they get to go look at why is it working sometimes

677
00:52:11.460 --> 00:52:14.140
and why is it not working all the time?

678
00:52:14.140 --> 00:52:18.660
And then that helps them track and figure out why

679
00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:25.340
and hopefully helps them get to the solution faster.

680
00:52:25.700 --> 00:52:26.820
Does that make sense?

681
00:52:26.820 --> 00:52:27.820
Yeah.

682
00:52:27.820 --> 00:52:31.820
Yeah, I know, because I've had to send lots of tickets in

683
00:52:32.900 --> 00:52:33.740
and I get it.

684
00:52:33.740 --> 00:52:35.900
It can be sometimes like, you know,

685
00:52:35.900 --> 00:52:40.900
but the more detailed that I can be in my tickets to them

686
00:52:44.180 --> 00:52:45.900
and the more consistent I can be

687
00:52:46.940 --> 00:52:48.980
and the more detailed I can be with them,

688
00:52:50.300 --> 00:52:53.460
it really, really does, then they can't avoid it.

689
00:52:55.500 --> 00:52:56.580
I'm being clear.

690
00:52:57.620 --> 00:53:01.300
And then the more of us that are sending

691
00:53:01.300 --> 00:53:04.780
those similar issues in,

692
00:53:04.780 --> 00:53:07.380
they're gonna see like, oh, this is a problem

693
00:53:07.380 --> 00:53:10.820
because a lot of people are struggling with this.

694
00:53:10.820 --> 00:53:12.540
Then it goes to the top of the line.

695
00:53:12.540 --> 00:53:15.260
So when we're not saying something

696
00:53:15.260 --> 00:53:17.060
and we're not doing something,

697
00:53:17.060 --> 00:53:21.500
that's why it doesn't get fixed in a timely manner

698
00:53:21.500 --> 00:53:23.980
because to them, they don't think it's a problem

699
00:53:24.020 --> 00:53:26.780
because none of us are saying anything.

700
00:53:26.780 --> 00:53:27.740
Does that make sense?

701
00:53:27.740 --> 00:53:28.580
Mm-hmm.

702
00:53:28.580 --> 00:53:30.060
This is why sometimes like, I know,

703
00:53:30.060 --> 00:53:35.060
like I'm one of those people that I don't like to complain

704
00:53:35.700 --> 00:53:39.300
or draw attention to something that's like not working

705
00:53:39.300 --> 00:53:40.940
because I have this,

706
00:53:40.940 --> 00:53:44.780
people think that I'm always negative or critical.

707
00:53:44.780 --> 00:53:46.100
Like this is just, again,

708
00:53:46.100 --> 00:53:49.220
a lie that the enemy has placed in me

709
00:53:50.260 --> 00:53:52.180
where I'm like, oh, don't say anything

710
00:53:52.180 --> 00:53:54.740
because then people are gonna label you as being critical

711
00:53:54.740 --> 00:53:56.700
and judgmental.

712
00:53:56.700 --> 00:54:00.220
And it's like, no, I'm trying to be helpful.

713
00:54:00.220 --> 00:54:01.620
I can do it in a kind way.

714
00:54:01.620 --> 00:54:05.300
It's how I present it.

715
00:54:05.300 --> 00:54:06.540
Mm-hmm, I get it.

716
00:54:06.540 --> 00:54:09.980
Worked with me through the years of,

717
00:54:09.980 --> 00:54:13.740
okay, you don't have to be critical.

718
00:54:13.740 --> 00:54:17.860
You can be helpful and this is how you can do it softly.

719
00:54:17.860 --> 00:54:22.060
So that's my advice.

720
00:54:22.900 --> 00:54:25.500
It bothers me because I used to be a programmer

721
00:54:25.500 --> 00:54:28.540
and I used to like literally program

722
00:54:28.540 --> 00:54:30.660
so that you couldn't break it.

723
00:54:30.660 --> 00:54:33.260
Then I would literally give it to people and say,

724
00:54:33.260 --> 00:54:34.900
break it in a beta test,

725
00:54:34.900 --> 00:54:37.900
like do everything you can to break this sucker.

726
00:54:37.900 --> 00:54:40.660
And I'm gonna figure out how not to.

727
00:54:40.660 --> 00:54:45.380
Versus, hey, let's put it upon all these people

728
00:54:45.380 --> 00:54:47.380
and then let them get frustrated.

729
00:54:47.380 --> 00:54:49.700
That's how Microsoft does things

730
00:54:49.700 --> 00:54:51.700
with all their updates, you know?

731
00:54:52.100 --> 00:54:53.100
I hated that.

732
00:54:53.100 --> 00:54:56.220
That's like low standard, not kingdom thinking.

733
00:54:56.220 --> 00:54:58.500
And I'm like, so it's one of those-

734
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.640
Oh, my girl, I get you.

735
00:55:03.640 --> 00:55:05.760
That's what it's like, OK, Lord, what

736
00:55:05.760 --> 00:55:09.120
is it that you're trying to teach me in this moment?

737
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:15.720
It's like, Lord, uproot this sucker, because I hate that.

738
00:55:15.720 --> 00:55:18.400
And then I just don't engage with it.

739
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:21.920
Well, I want to challenge you to engage with it a little bit.

740
00:55:21.920 --> 00:55:24.080
Well, I've got multiple groups that I'm a part of,

741
00:55:24.080 --> 00:55:28.960
so it's like, you know, when one of them doesn't work,

742
00:55:28.960 --> 00:55:31.440
it's like, bye, OK, let's go to this one.

743
00:55:36.720 --> 00:55:39.760
I'm not here to fix your problems.

744
00:55:39.760 --> 00:55:42.640
Yeah, and sometimes God is showing us that, too.

745
00:55:42.640 --> 00:55:47.040
I'm like, OK, how important is this, right?

746
00:55:47.040 --> 00:55:47.880
I got you.

747
00:55:47.880 --> 00:55:49.320
I got you.

748
00:55:49.320 --> 00:55:51.840
I was just looking for the list from my question from months

749
00:55:51.840 --> 00:55:53.680
ago, you know, to.

750
00:55:53.680 --> 00:55:55.280
Girl, I appreciate you.

751
00:55:55.280 --> 00:55:58.560
You're so patient, and you give us so much grace.

752
00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:00.240
I just keep moving on.

753
00:56:00.240 --> 00:56:01.560
I just keep, OK.

754
00:56:01.560 --> 00:56:03.440
I appreciate you.

755
00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:06.280
My God, if they won't answer it, where can I go get the answer?

756
00:56:09.520 --> 00:56:12.600
Oh, love you, love you, love you.

757
00:56:12.600 --> 00:56:14.400
OK, sorry.

758
00:56:14.400 --> 00:56:16.560
You're good, you're good.

759
00:56:16.560 --> 00:56:19.480
All right, Laura, I see Sarah, the other Sarah,

760
00:56:19.480 --> 00:56:20.720
I don't see your hand up anymore.

761
00:56:20.720 --> 00:56:22.560
Did you still have a question?

762
00:56:22.560 --> 00:56:25.040
I do, if I could ask you, if I could follow up

763
00:56:25.040 --> 00:56:26.440
with you from last week.

764
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:27.640
Yes, go for it.

765
00:56:28.640 --> 00:56:30.400
Laura, and then Peggy.

766
00:56:30.400 --> 00:56:32.320
OK.

767
00:56:32.320 --> 00:56:34.320
So I'm already feeling kind of emotional

768
00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:37.160
as I'm preparing to chat about it,

769
00:56:37.160 --> 00:56:40.440
because I think it is kind of like, I just feel like,

770
00:56:40.440 --> 00:56:42.000
when I was talking to you, I kind of

771
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:43.320
wanted to put the blame on my parents,

772
00:56:43.320 --> 00:56:44.880
but I think it was more on my dad.

773
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:47.800
But I think it's more of a people-pleasing thing

774
00:56:47.800 --> 00:56:49.320
that I struggle with.

775
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:51.480
And then I think it's also a laziness thing,

776
00:56:51.480 --> 00:56:54.080
where it's like, well, this guy likes me,

777
00:56:54.080 --> 00:56:57.680
and I'm just, you know, he's not healthy.

778
00:56:57.680 --> 00:57:00.520
He hasn't gone about it in a healthy way.

779
00:57:00.520 --> 00:57:02.920
Our communication has been pretty crappy.

780
00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:08.800
But I can default to him, and he likes me.

781
00:57:08.800 --> 00:57:10.400
I don't have to do much work.

782
00:57:10.400 --> 00:57:12.040
I kind of take him the lazy route.

783
00:57:12.040 --> 00:57:16.560
But I mean, he hasn't even asked me out on a date

784
00:57:16.560 --> 00:57:17.560
or anything like that.

785
00:57:17.560 --> 00:57:21.160
I mean, he hasn't even, we haven't defined anything.

786
00:57:21.160 --> 00:57:22.880
I was telling you, we barely talk.

787
00:57:22.920 --> 00:57:25.280
So I think I've been thinking about this week,

788
00:57:25.280 --> 00:57:27.720
and I think it's more of a people-pleasing thing

789
00:57:27.720 --> 00:57:32.520
that I struggle with, you know, trying to please, I guess,

790
00:57:32.520 --> 00:57:35.440
his brother, who is one of the lead pastors.

791
00:57:35.440 --> 00:57:37.400
His sister-in-law is also a lead pastor.

792
00:57:37.400 --> 00:57:40.920
Like, it's a whole, it's a small church and a family thing,

793
00:57:40.920 --> 00:57:43.680
you know, in a lot of ways.

794
00:57:43.680 --> 00:57:46.320
And so I think I want to please everybody.

795
00:57:46.320 --> 00:57:51.280
But, you know, so and that's another question,

796
00:57:51.280 --> 00:57:52.320
maybe for another day.

797
00:57:52.320 --> 00:57:54.680
But like, how do I just, I feel like I'm stuck

798
00:57:54.680 --> 00:57:56.960
in this people-pleasing place,

799
00:57:56.960 --> 00:57:58.760
and especially in a small church,

800
00:57:58.760 --> 00:58:00.880
and hearing you talk about identity.

801
00:58:00.880 --> 00:58:05.320
And it's like, I get into these, you know, like things,

802
00:58:05.320 --> 00:58:08.320
and it's like, I don't know how to be healthy.

803
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:11.720
Like, I'm finding that I struggle with identity,

804
00:58:11.720 --> 00:58:13.720
and being in a small church setting,

805
00:58:13.720 --> 00:58:18.720
I think really brings shortcomings to light.

806
00:58:19.280 --> 00:58:23.880
So I'm gonna save some of my small church question

807
00:58:23.880 --> 00:58:25.360
for you for another time.

808
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:28.880
But I just feel really bad about,

809
00:58:28.880 --> 00:58:31.280
I just don't even know how I got in this place.

810
00:58:31.280 --> 00:58:33.520
And it's just like, how did I get here?

811
00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:35.960
And it's like, I was reading about it.

812
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:38.960
You know, as I'm reading about all these like things,

813
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:41.120
you know, and then I just somehow like,

814
00:58:41.120 --> 00:58:42.880
shifted into this place where it's like,

815
00:58:42.880 --> 00:58:45.560
I like the negative attention, and I like,

816
00:58:45.560 --> 00:58:47.120
and I've been feeding off of it.

817
00:58:47.160 --> 00:58:50.360
And I got to a point where I tried to nip it in the bud,

818
00:58:50.360 --> 00:58:53.000
but then I like turned back to getting it.

819
00:58:53.000 --> 00:58:57.000
And I just hate that I like slowly shifted

820
00:58:57.000 --> 00:58:58.600
and gotten into this place.

821
00:58:58.600 --> 00:59:02.920
And I just, I guess I'm just like frustrated with myself.

822
00:59:02.920 --> 00:59:05.880
And then I just really don't even know

823
00:59:05.880 --> 00:59:07.280
how to find my way out of it.

824
00:59:07.280 --> 00:59:11.160
I'm a people pleaser, and the negative attention,

825
00:59:11.160 --> 00:59:12.880
and the not negative per se,

826
00:59:12.880 --> 00:59:15.120
but just unhealthy intention.

827
00:59:15.120 --> 00:59:18.000
You know, it's like, it's attention.

828
00:59:20.760 --> 00:59:23.360
There's so much that resonates here.

829
00:59:27.960 --> 00:59:29.760
There's, oh my gosh, there's so many things

830
00:59:29.760 --> 00:59:33.160
that like literally that's downloading to me right now.

831
00:59:33.160 --> 00:59:38.160
Yeah, and I don't, I mean, I guess I just want to like,

832
00:59:39.560 --> 00:59:42.160
not, and I don't know,

833
00:59:42.160 --> 00:59:44.600
do I need to stop going to that church type thing?

834
00:59:45.080 --> 00:59:47.600
Like, is it just such an unhealthy setting,

835
00:59:47.600 --> 00:59:50.120
but my mom loves it there and I take her.

836
00:59:50.120 --> 00:59:52.080
And I know that's honestly for you to answer,

837
00:59:52.080 --> 00:59:54.800
but it's like, I really do struggle with people pleasing.

838
00:59:54.800 --> 00:59:57.480
And I just, I see it on so many levels

839
00:59:57.480 --> 00:59:59.800
that it's like, I just feel so unhealthy.

840
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.480
I, and I just like, like, I want a relationship so bad, but

841
01:00:06.480 --> 01:00:10.160
that one would be so fake. And so like, there was a time where

842
01:00:10.160 --> 01:00:13.560
it could have been real, but we never, we stopped being real at

843
01:00:13.560 --> 01:00:16.480
some point. And it's all put on. It's all just a show. You know

844
01:00:16.480 --> 01:00:19.480
what I mean? And it's like, I just want something real. But I

845
01:00:19.480 --> 01:00:23.560
feel like I'm so it's just so, you know, and I don't know if

846
01:00:23.560 --> 01:00:28.440
it's redeemable or not. But my guess is not okay.

847
01:00:31.760 --> 01:00:35.680
I'm just gonna I'm just I want Holy Spirit to speak through me

848
01:00:35.680 --> 01:00:45.000
because I just I just feel this does like this. Giving you

849
01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:50.040
encouragement is really what I'm sensing right now. Like I want

850
01:00:50.360 --> 01:00:54.560
I really just believe that the Lord wants you to feel

851
01:00:54.560 --> 01:01:02.240
encouraged. Thank you. And so yes, it's redeemable. I want you

852
01:01:02.240 --> 01:01:05.440
to focus on the fact that you have some awareness right now.

853
01:01:06.920 --> 01:01:14.360
Okay, I want you to want you to pay attention to what you are

854
01:01:14.360 --> 01:01:25.000
believing about yourself. Okay? Is it positive or negative? Okay,

855
01:01:25.520 --> 01:01:30.920
because I'm hearing I'm hearing a lot of condemnation. I'm not

856
01:01:30.920 --> 01:01:35.600
hearing a lot of shame. And that's not from your Heavenly

857
01:01:35.600 --> 01:01:45.360
Father. You've got this awareness of, you know, where

858
01:01:45.360 --> 01:01:52.280
this is coming from, which is good. Okay, it's recognizing,

859
01:01:52.320 --> 01:01:57.840
okay, where did this first get planted? When did this seed get

860
01:01:57.840 --> 01:02:04.040
planted? And it's not just sit there and put blame. But it's

861
01:02:04.040 --> 01:02:09.240
also not there to sit there and say, it was okay for them. It

862
01:02:09.240 --> 01:02:13.960
that it was okay for, you know, if this is tied to your your

863
01:02:13.960 --> 01:02:18.960
parents, and your mother, your father, you know, it, it really

864
01:02:19.040 --> 01:02:27.880
is for us to recognize, oh, this is where it started. It's not

865
01:02:27.880 --> 01:02:34.240
saying it's okay, that it that they did that. But it's also

866
01:02:34.880 --> 01:02:40.320
helpful for us to recognize our part in it. Not that it's our

867
01:02:40.320 --> 01:02:45.600
faults. So don't hear that like, what happens to us is not our

868
01:02:45.600 --> 01:02:53.240
faults, how we respond to it, we can definitely shift out of how

869
01:02:53.240 --> 01:03:03.320
we carry it, then does become our responsibility. So it's

870
01:03:03.320 --> 01:03:08.960
recognizing, okay, this happened to me because of this. Now, this

871
01:03:08.960 --> 01:03:14.440
is how I've allowed it to shape my identity. But remember,

872
01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:18.200
that's not who got like, God doesn't, doesn't put

873
01:03:18.240 --> 01:03:24.960
condemnation on us and shame. So then it's going and replacing

874
01:03:25.400 --> 01:03:35.760
that lie with, what does he say about us? Who am I? And so I

875
01:03:35.760 --> 01:03:39.240
think you even recognizing, wow, I've got this, this thing where

876
01:03:39.240 --> 01:03:43.040
I just want to please everybody, like, Lord, Holy Spirit, show me,

877
01:03:43.520 --> 01:03:49.120
show me where that's from. What do you say about me, Lord? I can

878
01:03:49.120 --> 01:03:53.840
sit in this moment and I can say, I don't need to please

879
01:03:53.840 --> 01:03:58.760
anybody right now, because I'm already chosen by you. Lord, I

880
01:03:58.760 --> 01:04:04.840
get to come to you. You get to help me in the direction that I

881
01:04:04.840 --> 01:04:09.840
go. And you know, you ask the question, like, do I need to

882
01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:12.520
stop going to this church? And you know, and you're like, and

883
01:04:12.520 --> 01:04:17.880
you're right, I can't make that choice. Yeah, I can't. That's

884
01:04:17.880 --> 01:04:23.560
the choice that you get. You go to God. And you ask, Holy

885
01:04:23.560 --> 01:04:32.720
Spirit, what would you have me do? You want what's best for me.

886
01:04:34.840 --> 01:04:40.040
What would you have me do? And here's the thing, sometimes

887
01:04:40.080 --> 01:04:43.080
ladies, sometimes the Holy Spirit's gonna say, here, this

888
01:04:43.080 --> 01:04:46.880
is what I want you to do. And then there's times I don't know

889
01:04:46.880 --> 01:04:49.120
about y'all, but there's some times I've asked the Lord, and

890
01:04:49.120 --> 01:04:52.280
the Lord's like, well, honey, I've given you free will, you

891
01:04:52.280 --> 01:05:00.000
get to choose. And we like, and I'm like, and so, because here's

892
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:09.400
the thing no matter what you choose is not going to necessarily matter if you

893
01:05:09.400 --> 01:05:14.120
don't get to the root of the people-pleasing yeah don't work on

894
01:05:14.120 --> 01:05:21.360
healing from the people-pleasing yeah that's the invitation God is inviting

895
01:05:21.360 --> 01:05:28.600
you in yeah I definitely feel that it's it's it's it's finding out okay what

896
01:05:28.600 --> 01:05:38.240
label did I give myself what's my responsibility in this and again when I

897
01:05:38.240 --> 01:05:47.000
say that ladies I really want you to sit with that if when I say or anyone says

898
01:05:47.000 --> 01:06:00.240
what's your responsibility in that if there is a like hit of shame guilt

899
01:06:00.240 --> 01:06:07.360
condemnation I want you to start I want you to I want you to dig there not dig

900
01:06:07.360 --> 01:06:12.120
dig dig but I want you to spend time with Holy Spirit like I know that's not

901
01:06:12.120 --> 01:06:20.600
you God that's revealing something where does that come from where does

902
01:06:20.600 --> 01:06:26.120
that shame come from what's that remind you of where did you get where was the

903
01:06:26.120 --> 01:06:32.280
first time you felt that shame that condemnation that you you had to perform

904
01:06:32.280 --> 01:06:41.560
that you had to do something because it wasn't good enough for somebody get to

905
01:06:41.560 --> 01:06:50.040
that that's where you start breaking agreement and alignment with those lies

906
01:06:50.040 --> 01:06:55.160
and then you've come into alignment with what God says about you okay thank you

907
01:06:55.160 --> 01:07:00.480
okay things already coming to mind I appreciate it good awesome thank you for

908
01:07:00.480 --> 01:07:07.320
being vulnerable thank you like ladies I just I want you to I want that to

909
01:07:07.320 --> 01:07:11.680
incur it like Sarah coming and just being open and honest and vulnerable and

910
01:07:11.680 --> 01:07:24.840
real like there is nothing more powerful than honesty and vulnerability that

911
01:07:24.840 --> 01:07:32.080
connection that we have here is so important to our healing

912
01:07:32.400 --> 01:07:35.960
so important

913
01:07:36.640 --> 01:07:43.520
so thank you so so much Laura I want to hear about Wade I want to know how your

914
01:07:43.520 --> 01:07:50.480
date went and it went really well um yeah and I pushed through my fear and

915
01:07:50.480 --> 01:07:54.080
resistance and I brought up the conversation I'm like well I'm gonna

916
01:07:54.080 --> 01:07:58.880
order first because then I have to stay here and wait for my food and then have

917
01:07:58.880 --> 01:08:02.880
this conversation because then otherwise I'm like if the conversation

918
01:08:02.880 --> 01:08:10.680
doesn't go well I'm just gonna bail whatever so so that's what I did and

919
01:08:10.680 --> 01:08:18.120
yeah so I my heart was like even now just talking about my heart's like

920
01:08:18.120 --> 01:08:23.479
pounding like a mile a minute but um anyhow and yeah I just said that I

921
01:08:23.479 --> 01:08:29.160
needed to ask him something and he was like very receptive he's like oh yeah

922
01:08:29.160 --> 01:08:36.560
what do you need to ask me or whatever and so like I was like um I need to

923
01:08:36.560 --> 01:08:42.479
explain like my intentions in dating that like my intentions are to like move

924
01:08:42.479 --> 01:08:46.439
a relationship towards marriage and I'd like preface it with like I'm not

925
01:08:46.439 --> 01:08:50.040
understanding that you and I are necessarily intended to like marry each

926
01:08:50.040 --> 01:08:55.319
other but I just wanted to know like what your intentions are in dating as

927
01:08:55.319 --> 01:09:05.319
well and he was very like sweet and he like said that like yeah he his

928
01:09:05.319 --> 01:09:13.000
intentions on dating are also towards marriage and yeah that he he doesn't

929
01:09:13.000 --> 01:09:19.000
just date like haphazard and I think this is like his first time dating in

930
01:09:19.000 --> 01:09:21.800
like eight years since his divorce we both got divorced about the same time

931
01:09:21.800 --> 01:09:28.640
which I'm realizing so he said that okay this is the first time I've dated and

932
01:09:28.640 --> 01:09:34.800
since my divorce and he didn't in so many words but he said when his kids

933
01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:39.640
were younger after the divorce that he just wanted to focus time on being there

934
01:09:39.640 --> 01:09:46.920
for his kids and supporting them okay yeah his daughter turned 25 like a week

935
01:09:46.920 --> 01:09:52.399
ago or something and then his son is 21 so his daughter's like two years older

936
01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:58.480
than my daughter she's 23 and then my son will be 21 in September so um yeah

937
01:09:58.480 --> 01:10:01.800
like I

938
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.840
I was relieved to, to finally like have the courage and confidence to have that

939
01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:04.560
conversation.

940
01:10:05.080 --> 01:10:11.800
I still sometimes like wonder, even though like, I mean, cause we only like

941
01:10:11.800 --> 01:10:17.280
maybe date like once a week and we don't like really like, um, even though like

942
01:10:17.280 --> 01:10:24.480
he called me prior to like our date on Saturday to like, um, to like ask me

943
01:10:24.480 --> 01:10:25.560
like to dinner or whatever.

944
01:10:25.560 --> 01:10:27.800
And we, we have no problems like talking.

945
01:10:27.800 --> 01:10:32.200
We talked on the phone for like at least an hour, like, um, and then like at

946
01:10:32.200 --> 01:10:35.000
dinner, we were like the last ones to leave the restaurant, we were literally

947
01:10:35.000 --> 01:10:36.200
there for like three hours.

948
01:10:36.760 --> 01:10:43.160
Um, so we like definitely have like connection and are able to like talk

949
01:10:43.240 --> 01:10:44.400
freely and whatever.

950
01:10:44.840 --> 01:10:50.960
I just, um, still question if I'm attracted to him or whatever.

951
01:10:51.280 --> 01:10:55.120
And then my mind goes to like, am I just trying to like protect myself from

952
01:10:56.080 --> 01:10:56.800
getting hurt again?

953
01:10:56.800 --> 01:11:00.920
And so like my brain goes to like, oh, well this is kind of unsafe cause I

954
01:11:00.920 --> 01:11:03.480
hadn't dated in like 30 years, whatever.

955
01:11:04.000 --> 01:11:08.400
And so, um, and then my brain also goes to like, well, he's the first guy that I

956
01:11:09.160 --> 01:11:13.880
have dated since like dating the ex, like in the early nineties who I did marry

957
01:11:14.040 --> 01:11:14.480
whatever.

958
01:11:14.480 --> 01:11:19.480
And so then I'm like, oh, I really doubt that this is really like my person per

959
01:11:19.480 --> 01:11:20.640
se, whatever.

960
01:11:21.160 --> 01:11:22.640
Um, I mean, I, I don't know.

961
01:11:22.840 --> 01:11:25.800
I mean, I can't like read the future and whatever.

962
01:11:25.800 --> 01:11:30.480
And, um, but I am continuing to like follow, like it is a yes until it's a no.

963
01:11:30.960 --> 01:11:32.560
And he is like a very sweet man.

964
01:11:33.600 --> 01:11:34.000
Yeah.

965
01:11:34.040 --> 01:11:38.400
So what we were talking about last week and then even what, you know, we went

966
01:11:38.400 --> 01:11:42.280
through today, I think that's going to be really helpful just to kind of sit with

967
01:11:42.280 --> 01:11:47.240
some of those notes and really sit and process through that again, just reminding

968
01:11:47.240 --> 01:11:50.200
yourself, like these are just feelings.

969
01:11:51.160 --> 01:11:53.960
I don't have to decide anything right now.

970
01:11:55.480 --> 01:12:02.800
And so when those feelings are surfacing, it's learning, okay, what I'm feeling

971
01:12:02.800 --> 01:12:04.840
this, this is not my identity.

972
01:12:06.120 --> 01:12:08.640
Am I attaching it to my identity?

973
01:12:09.920 --> 01:12:12.080
And then is it surfacing?

974
01:12:12.120 --> 01:12:19.240
Are these emotions being tied to things from the past that I'm now sitting here

975
01:12:19.400 --> 01:12:24.160
trying to assign my feelings to it being fact?

976
01:12:24.680 --> 01:12:25.520
Does that make sense?

977
01:12:27.120 --> 01:12:27.800
Well, yeah.

978
01:12:27.800 --> 01:12:32.680
Cause like, I'm always like on like guard, just like a certain degree that like,

979
01:12:32.800 --> 01:12:35.000
I'm like, Oh, is he being like trustworthy?

980
01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:37.240
Is he being honest and upfront with me about things?

981
01:12:37.240 --> 01:12:41.760
And cause I found out like five, five years into my marriage that like the ex

982
01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:45.240
was addicted to porn and that was like a huge external marriage for like many years.

983
01:12:45.960 --> 01:12:52.360
And so, yeah, I'm not willing to like deal with that, like again, or like

984
01:12:52.640 --> 01:12:54.280
really like any kind of addiction.

985
01:12:54.280 --> 01:12:54.720
So,

986
01:12:55.240 --> 01:13:00.560
well, and that's why I think it's what it sounds like.

987
01:13:01.800 --> 01:13:03.040
This is moving.

988
01:13:03.080 --> 01:13:06.120
Like you said, you, you're only really dating once a week and you're like

989
01:13:06.160 --> 01:13:09.880
having maybe one phone call prior to the date, the connections there.

990
01:13:09.880 --> 01:13:11.320
You guys are talking a lot.

991
01:13:11.360 --> 01:13:16.480
There's something there, but you see how it's not, it's not rushed.

992
01:13:18.760 --> 01:13:19.160
Right.

993
01:13:19.520 --> 01:13:25.920
It's, it's being paced because now you get to sit here and you get to take in the

994
01:13:25.920 --> 01:13:29.080
information and you get to process through it.

995
01:13:29.080 --> 01:13:31.480
Like you don't have to make a decision quickly.

996
01:13:33.840 --> 01:13:38.200
Which, yeah, I mean, cause this is like so different than like what

997
01:13:38.200 --> 01:13:39.720
happened between me and ex.

998
01:13:39.720 --> 01:13:45.080
And so like, sometimes I wonder, I'm like, is it going like way too slow or

999
01:13:45.080 --> 01:13:45.560
whatever?

1000
01:13:45.560 --> 01:13:45.960
And, um,

1001
01:13:45.960 --> 01:13:53.120
when those moments come up where you're like, where there's that fear of, I don't

1002
01:13:53.120 --> 01:13:54.000
know if I'm attracted.

1003
01:13:54.000 --> 01:13:55.760
I don't know if I'm, I'm safe yet.

1004
01:13:55.760 --> 01:14:00.680
All that remind yourself, like I get to, I get to take time here.

1005
01:14:02.680 --> 01:14:03.560
I'm okay.

1006
01:14:04.040 --> 01:14:08.000
God is, God is the one pacing this.

1007
01:14:10.440 --> 01:14:10.800
Right.

1008
01:14:11.160 --> 01:14:19.040
He's going to show me what I need to know when I need to know it and sit like,

1009
01:14:19.320 --> 01:14:32.800
what's, what, what's the feeling and emotion behind sitting with the not

1010
01:14:32.840 --> 01:14:40.160
knowing and putting your trust and faith in God to reveal to you what you need to

1011
01:14:40.160 --> 01:14:41.120
know when you need to know it.

1012
01:14:43.840 --> 01:14:47.600
I mean, to a certain degree, it's like, it's relief that I don't need to like,

1013
01:14:47.600 --> 01:14:49.240
cause I tend to be a planner.

1014
01:14:49.240 --> 01:14:53.600
Like when we go on vacation, I plan everything to like, like all the details

1015
01:14:53.600 --> 01:14:57.840
or book the flights and where we're staying and all that stuff, whatever.

1016
01:14:57.840 --> 01:14:59.000
I'm a big planner.

1017
01:14:59.760 --> 01:14:59.960
So.

1018
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.720
This is that moment of structure for you.

1019
01:15:02.720 --> 01:15:04.400
Yeah, to kind of leave things.

1020
01:15:04.400 --> 01:15:06.640
Because you can't plan for it because you don't really

1021
01:15:06.640 --> 01:15:08.160
know what this is yet.

1022
01:15:08.160 --> 01:15:08.960
And that's OK.

1023
01:15:08.960 --> 01:15:11.240
Yeah, I mean, I did take initiative a week ago.

1024
01:15:11.240 --> 01:15:15.960
And I think I, did I text him?

1025
01:15:15.960 --> 01:15:17.600
I can't remember.

1026
01:15:17.600 --> 01:15:20.840
But I was, because the other three dates or whatever,

1027
01:15:20.840 --> 01:15:23.400
he's the one that initiated things or whatever.

1028
01:15:23.400 --> 01:15:25.680
And I was the one that suggested what

1029
01:15:25.680 --> 01:15:29.440
we do on that third date and whatever.

1030
01:15:29.440 --> 01:15:31.960
And he was all for it, whatever.

1031
01:15:31.960 --> 01:15:33.880
And you know what, it sounds like, yeah,

1032
01:15:33.880 --> 01:15:41.320
if he was not dating when his kids were younger,

1033
01:15:41.320 --> 01:15:43.160
it's probably learning.

1034
01:15:43.160 --> 01:15:45.000
And he's probably having to kind of walk

1035
01:15:45.000 --> 01:15:46.280
through that process too.

1036
01:15:46.280 --> 01:15:50.200
And it's having that patience with him as well.

1037
01:15:50.200 --> 01:15:54.360
And as you two get to know each other and communicate,

1038
01:15:54.360 --> 01:15:58.640
trust in the fact that if whatever

1039
01:15:58.640 --> 01:16:02.800
God wants to reveal through this connection,

1040
01:16:02.800 --> 01:16:04.120
there is a growth there.

1041
01:16:04.120 --> 01:16:05.920
There's something that you're going to learn

1042
01:16:05.920 --> 01:16:06.920
and get to heal from.

1043
01:16:06.920 --> 01:16:09.000
And then he's probably going to heal from.

1044
01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:10.360
And God will expose that.

1045
01:16:10.360 --> 01:16:13.720
God will bring that to light in his timing.

1046
01:16:13.720 --> 01:16:16.880
And I want you to trust in that.

1047
01:16:16.880 --> 01:16:18.760
Yeah, and then I have another question.

1048
01:16:18.760 --> 01:16:20.560
It's like, we haven't held hands.

1049
01:16:20.560 --> 01:16:21.400
We haven't hugged.

1050
01:16:21.400 --> 01:16:22.240
We haven't kissed.

1051
01:16:22.240 --> 01:16:23.000
Nothing.

1052
01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:25.720
And no physical contact.

1053
01:16:25.720 --> 01:16:27.560
Do I need to say anything about that?

1054
01:16:27.560 --> 01:16:31.880
Because sometimes, I don't know if it seems awkward for him.

1055
01:16:31.880 --> 01:16:35.560
Or I don't know, but he hasn't said anything or whatever.

1056
01:16:35.560 --> 01:16:40.040
He hasn't tried to kiss me or hold my hand or anything.

1057
01:16:40.040 --> 01:16:42.080
That was your fourth date, right?

1058
01:16:42.080 --> 01:16:43.200
Yeah.

1059
01:16:43.200 --> 01:16:45.440
And this is over the course of a month, two months?

1060
01:16:48.240 --> 01:16:52.680
Yeah, we've had about a date a week for the past four weeks.

1061
01:16:52.680 --> 01:16:54.880
I was going to say, he might be, you know what?

1062
01:16:54.880 --> 01:16:55.960
This is reminding.

1063
01:16:55.960 --> 01:16:59.680
I don't know if you, because I know you were at the retreat.

1064
01:16:59.680 --> 01:17:05.960
I don't know if we talked about, not Bethany Cooper,

1065
01:17:05.960 --> 01:17:14.440
but there's another Bethany that was in our community

1066
01:17:14.440 --> 01:17:16.800
who was dating someone.

1067
01:17:16.800 --> 01:17:21.720
And he had gotten out of a relationship.

1068
01:17:21.720 --> 01:17:24.480
And he was kind of slow moving.

1069
01:17:27.240 --> 01:17:32.720
And we didn't know, OK, where did he stand?

1070
01:17:32.720 --> 01:17:37.880
And she's like, eh, I don't even know how I feel about him.

1071
01:17:37.880 --> 01:17:39.480
He's enjoyable.

1072
01:17:39.480 --> 01:17:40.280
We have fun.

1073
01:17:40.280 --> 01:17:42.160
We can connect.

1074
01:17:42.160 --> 01:17:45.400
He likes spending time with her.

1075
01:17:45.400 --> 01:17:50.120
But there was no, there weren't the sparks kind of thing

1076
01:17:50.120 --> 01:17:52.200
for either of them.

1077
01:17:52.200 --> 01:17:58.880
But there was just a friendship connection there,

1078
01:17:58.880 --> 01:18:01.360
like just a healing get to know you.

1079
01:18:01.360 --> 01:18:02.880
And that's kind of what it reminds me.

1080
01:18:02.880 --> 01:18:08.360
And I remember Jackie always just being like,

1081
01:18:08.360 --> 01:18:11.640
he needed time.

1082
01:18:11.640 --> 01:18:17.640
And I remember her sharing with Bethany.

1083
01:18:17.640 --> 01:18:19.920
Her name was Bethany Oliver.

1084
01:18:19.920 --> 01:18:21.440
And she's in our community still.

1085
01:18:21.440 --> 01:18:23.880
She's in phase three.

1086
01:18:23.880 --> 01:18:26.920
And she helps coach as well.

1087
01:18:26.920 --> 01:18:30.080
So when you move to phase three, you'll see her.

1088
01:18:30.080 --> 01:18:31.600
And she'll share her story.

1089
01:18:31.600 --> 01:18:32.320
She's wonderful.

1090
01:18:32.320 --> 01:18:33.040
She's amazing.

1091
01:18:36.080 --> 01:18:39.120
It was really important for her in that process

1092
01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:45.840
too to allow him to lead.

1093
01:18:45.840 --> 01:18:46.720
Because it was-

1094
01:18:46.720 --> 01:18:48.160
Yeah, that's what I'm like.

1095
01:18:49.040 --> 01:18:52.920
I guess he'll ask me about it eventually.

1096
01:18:52.920 --> 01:18:54.960
Yeah, I was going to say, right now,

1097
01:18:54.960 --> 01:18:58.560
with him only four days in a month,

1098
01:18:58.560 --> 01:19:02.240
I think you're good just to spend time getting

1099
01:19:02.240 --> 01:19:03.560
to know him and enjoy him.

1100
01:19:06.960 --> 01:19:13.160
And then if you feel led to, if someone asks you out,

1101
01:19:13.160 --> 01:19:17.120
you're welcome to go out and meet other people.

1102
01:19:17.120 --> 01:19:19.440
You're not tied to that right now.

1103
01:19:19.440 --> 01:19:20.400
You're not tied to-

1104
01:19:20.400 --> 01:19:22.680
Well, yeah, that's why I'm trying to expand

1105
01:19:22.680 --> 01:19:26.240
my pool of dating people or whatever.

1106
01:19:26.240 --> 01:19:29.280
Because right now, I just have been dating him.

1107
01:19:29.280 --> 01:19:34.440
And I looked yesterday, because I'm not on apps or whatever,

1108
01:19:34.440 --> 01:19:37.320
some meet-up groups that I might want to go to or something.

1109
01:19:37.320 --> 01:19:38.120
And I don't know.

1110
01:19:38.120 --> 01:19:39.240
Meet up there, have fun.

1111
01:19:39.240 --> 01:19:41.120
Go to meet-up groups.

1112
01:19:41.120 --> 01:19:42.880
Go enjoy life.

1113
01:19:45.520 --> 01:19:46.560
Right.

1114
01:19:46.960 --> 01:19:50.280
But I am getting texts from him and whatever.

1115
01:19:50.280 --> 01:19:52.600
And he's part of my Rotary Club.

1116
01:19:52.600 --> 01:19:56.320
And he had texted me yesterday morning

1117
01:19:56.320 --> 01:19:58.360
that he wasn't going to be able to come to our meeting

1118
01:19:58.360 --> 01:20:00.360
that we have on Mondays.

1119
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.600
me like have this work deadline or whatever. And I know I just

1120
01:20:03.600 --> 01:20:05.880
texted him like after the meeting that like, I'm missing

1121
01:20:05.880 --> 01:20:09.240
him or whatever. And he responded how he like missing me

1122
01:20:09.240 --> 01:20:12.960
too, and blah, blah, blah, and whatever. So it seems like,

1123
01:20:13.280 --> 01:20:17.720
I think it's gonna be that like, it's gonna it's, it's gonna just

1124
01:20:17.720 --> 01:20:21.760
be that kind of slow, like, he's, he's probably trying to

1125
01:20:21.760 --> 01:20:26.840
get comfortable as well. So I want you just to, and then also,

1126
01:20:27.400 --> 01:20:32.760
like I said, just sit in the discomfort of what are your

1127
01:20:32.760 --> 01:20:35.640
emotions? Like, what are your feelings? And are you tying them

1128
01:20:35.640 --> 01:20:43.320
to identity? Like, keep, keep focusing on your healing. And

1129
01:20:43.320 --> 01:20:49.200
then having fun. And just, yeah, letting him lead that. And then

1130
01:20:49.240 --> 01:20:51.680
we actually even mentioned because he likes to bike ride

1131
01:20:51.680 --> 01:20:56.600
and I do too. And this is when I always tell ladies like this is

1132
01:20:56.600 --> 01:20:59.240
important, like when you're getting to know people and all

1133
01:20:59.240 --> 01:21:03.920
that, like, this is when we want to continue to hear from you,

1134
01:21:03.920 --> 01:21:07.960
like keep posting up like, what conversations are what were you

1135
01:21:07.960 --> 01:21:11.840
guys like, what, what are y'all talking about how like, let us

1136
01:21:11.840 --> 01:21:16.160
know the details that will help tremendously and we can we can

1137
01:21:16.160 --> 01:21:18.920
help you through that process.

1138
01:21:19.920 --> 01:21:21.880
Yeah, so I'm like, I'm looking forward, we're supposed to go

1139
01:21:21.880 --> 01:21:24.320
like on a bike ride sometime, like in the near future or

1140
01:21:24.320 --> 01:21:25.520
something. So yeah,

1141
01:21:26.200 --> 01:21:28.800
I think this is good. I'm excited. I'm excited to see kind

1142
01:21:28.800 --> 01:21:31.200
of what unfolds.

1143
01:21:32.640 --> 01:21:35.840
Yeah, I mean, I'm glad that I finally like did start dating

1144
01:21:35.840 --> 01:21:40.480
because I was wondering like, if I ever would or whatever. So

1145
01:21:40.640 --> 01:21:41.800
but yeah, yeah.

1146
01:21:42.880 --> 01:21:45.160
But yeah, thank you. I don't feel like you need to be the

1147
01:21:45.160 --> 01:21:50.280
one to kind of like, like, just just sit back and enjoy it. Sit

1148
01:21:50.280 --> 01:21:53.520
back and just let things kind of unfold and just sit in that

1149
01:21:53.560 --> 01:21:57.400
process. And like, like, like you said, like, you're typically

1150
01:21:57.400 --> 01:22:01.160
the planner, I want you to sit on the you don't have to plan

1151
01:22:01.160 --> 01:22:05.000
everything. Right? Yeah, I feel uncomfortable. And I say that

1152
01:22:05.000 --> 01:22:08.360
because I'm a planner. So sometimes that is so hard for

1153
01:22:08.360 --> 01:22:10.080
me. I'm like,

1154
01:22:10.120 --> 01:22:13.080
well, yeah, cuz even like the last day, like for Saturday

1155
01:22:13.080 --> 01:22:16.440
evening, like he was asking me like, what I like to eat. And

1156
01:22:16.440 --> 01:22:20.400
like, I we had talked about like Mexican and we ended up going

1157
01:22:20.400 --> 01:22:23.520
to a Mexican restaurant. But I just he was he was looking for

1158
01:22:23.520 --> 01:22:26.880
like input from me. But I was like, Oh, like, well, you you

1159
01:22:26.880 --> 01:22:29.200
figure it out and let me know or whatever. And so like, I was

1160
01:22:29.640 --> 01:22:34.240
letting him like, take the lead in that figure it out. And yeah,

1161
01:22:34.240 --> 01:22:36.360
and then like, he came back to me with like a restaurant that I

1162
01:22:36.360 --> 01:22:38.200
really like. So I was like, Yeah, that sounds great.

1163
01:22:38.880 --> 01:22:43.600
Take me to your favorite place. I want to get to know you more.

1164
01:22:44.320 --> 01:22:49.600
Right? It's my favorite. What's your favorite? I want to learn

1165
01:22:49.600 --> 01:22:54.240
about you. Right? Yeah. reciprocation. And then you can

1166
01:22:54.240 --> 01:22:57.560
let them know, like, I appreciate how intentional you

1167
01:22:57.560 --> 01:23:04.120
are about, you know, wanting to, you know, learn what's, what's

1168
01:23:04.120 --> 01:23:07.920
my favorite and and take me out to my favorite places. And you

1169
01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:10.720
can tell them like, these are some of my favorite places.

1170
01:23:10.720 --> 01:23:15.400
These are things that I like. And then also mentioned them.

1171
01:23:15.800 --> 01:23:20.080
But I also would love to know what you like, and would be

1172
01:23:20.080 --> 01:23:22.560
open to going to some of your favorite places, too.

1173
01:23:23.280 --> 01:23:25.800
Yeah, because he did like initially mentioned like, a

1174
01:23:25.800 --> 01:23:30.320
seafood place. And I was like, I mean, I was like, somewhat open

1175
01:23:30.320 --> 01:23:32.520
to it. I don't really eat seafood. But usually most

1176
01:23:32.520 --> 01:23:35.520
seafood restaurants have like some other option for people

1177
01:23:35.520 --> 01:23:39.360
that don't or whatever. But yeah, he did end up like choosing

1178
01:23:39.360 --> 01:23:41.600
like the Mexican restaurant. And so I was like, Okay, whatever.

1179
01:23:41.600 --> 01:23:42.280
So yeah.

1180
01:23:42.720 --> 01:23:45.000
There you go. And then that's what I'm saying. You say, you

1181
01:23:45.000 --> 01:23:47.600
know what, we can always try a place that is one of your

1182
01:23:47.600 --> 01:23:50.880
favorites. Like, right? Yeah. Like, you know, like, that's

1183
01:23:50.880 --> 01:23:55.240
what I'm saying. Like, get like, I say, yeah, just let him kind

1184
01:23:55.240 --> 01:23:59.160
of take the lead. I think it's going well right now. I think

1185
01:23:59.160 --> 01:24:04.520
it's at a great pacing. I think it's helping you kind of get

1186
01:24:04.520 --> 01:24:09.280
comfortable and open it up to that the idea of dating and I

1187
01:24:09.280 --> 01:24:10.520
think it's gonna be good for you.

1188
01:24:11.520 --> 01:24:13.520
Well, yeah, and he's so supportive. Because like, I had

1189
01:24:13.520 --> 01:24:16.880
this issue with my car, I took it to the shop last week, and

1190
01:24:16.880 --> 01:24:20.000
then it like needs like my mechanic on this oil leak. And

1191
01:24:20.240 --> 01:24:22.680
so he even offered to like, loan me one of his cars because like

1192
01:24:22.680 --> 01:24:24.760
he bikes to work like most of the time and whatever. And I'm

1193
01:24:24.760 --> 01:24:28.160
like, that's okay, or whatever. And then like, I had an issue

1194
01:24:28.160 --> 01:24:30.520
with like, one of my cats yesterday, like I had to take

1195
01:24:30.520 --> 01:24:33.920
him to the vet. And he's like, Oh, because I'm going out of

1196
01:24:33.920 --> 01:24:37.680
town on Friday with my son for the weekend. And he's like, Oh,

1197
01:24:37.680 --> 01:24:40.120
I could take care of your cat if you need me to or whatever.

1198
01:24:40.120 --> 01:24:42.960
And so he's like, I don't care. But I told him that I did

1199
01:24:42.960 --> 01:24:44.840
appreciate the offer and whatever. So

1200
01:24:45.400 --> 01:24:48.320
all right, well, I'm gonna go I want to hard stop here soon. So

1201
01:24:48.320 --> 01:24:52.280
I but I want to give Peggy, he's our last hand raised. And then I

1202
01:24:52.280 --> 01:24:56.440
also see Beverly, Beverly, I responded to you in the app. So

1203
01:24:56.440 --> 01:24:58.480
definitely check that out. It's good to see you.

1204
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.200
You have my faith girl. It's all yours. All right, Peggy. Yeah,

1205
01:25:07.200 --> 01:25:10.240
I want to make time for you. So what you got for me today?

1206
01:25:11.680 --> 01:25:18.960
Boy, um, you had so many good comments earlier. And I really

1207
01:25:18.960 --> 01:25:29.000
related to you talking about feeling hidden. And I had and I

1208
01:25:29.000 --> 01:25:33.120
kind of want you to give me again, when you said I am

1209
01:25:33.120 --> 01:25:37.640
anxious, what does that represent? I am anxious. What

1210
01:25:37.800 --> 01:25:41.240
have finished that? What is because that really hit me when

1211
01:25:41.240 --> 01:25:42.000
you said it.

1212
01:25:42.160 --> 01:25:45.880
Okay, so like when when we're feeling anxious, and kind of how

1213
01:25:45.880 --> 01:25:51.160
we're, we tie it to a, our identity instead of a feeling.

1214
01:25:51.320 --> 01:25:54.560
Okay. Um, is that what you mean?

1215
01:25:54.960 --> 01:25:58.920
I think so. I think so. There was just a word that you said,

1216
01:25:59.240 --> 01:26:02.880
that that that it represented. And I thought, boy, I've got to

1217
01:26:02.880 --> 01:26:03.920
follow up on that.

1218
01:26:04.200 --> 01:26:06.880
Yeah, let me let me kind of go through my notes is to kind of

1219
01:26:06.880 --> 01:26:10.560
help me rejog my memory, too. Because I feel like I talked

1220
01:26:10.560 --> 01:26:16.880
about it a couple times. Um, like, if I'm anxious, and I

1221
01:26:16.920 --> 01:26:22.800
like, I feel anxious, therefore, I'm unsafe. Or I don't know if

1222
01:26:22.800 --> 01:26:23.520
it was that.

1223
01:26:23.560 --> 01:26:27.520
Yeah, I'm not sure. Oh, listen, I'll just watch the replay. And

1224
01:26:27.920 --> 01:26:30.560
like, anxiety becomes like, I'm too much.

1225
01:26:31.960 --> 01:26:35.680
No, it wasn't that one. And then we sometimes shut down the push

1226
01:26:35.680 --> 01:26:36.720
and pull.

1227
01:26:44.200 --> 01:26:47.240
Yeah, it was something different. But that that's, I

1228
01:26:47.240 --> 01:26:50.520
mean, I have some notes. But again, like, I will often go

1229
01:26:50.520 --> 01:26:54.160
off my notes. Like I won't. Yeah, like, I just outline them

1230
01:26:54.160 --> 01:26:56.960
like I have an outline. And that's then I just kind of allow

1231
01:26:56.960 --> 01:26:58.680
the Holy Spirit just to whatever.

1232
01:26:58.880 --> 01:27:02.320
Yes, exactly. Well, that's what replays are good for.

1233
01:27:02.360 --> 01:27:04.880
Yep. That's why I love replays, too. Because sometimes I'm like,

1234
01:27:05.120 --> 01:27:08.880
you know, I have to go back. I mean, like, wow, I said

1235
01:27:08.880 --> 01:27:12.280
something that really resonated with me that I like, obviously,

1236
01:27:12.320 --> 01:27:16.560
it didn't come from me. Right? It's something that I needed to

1237
01:27:16.560 --> 01:27:20.720
hear from Holy Spirit. And I'm like, I need to go back and

1238
01:27:20.720 --> 01:27:26.320
listen to what was said, because that wasn't me. It was,

1239
01:27:26.680 --> 01:27:31.760
it was Holy Spirit needed. And it like, a lot of times what I

1240
01:27:31.760 --> 01:27:35.040
coach is some things that I need to hear. And I know Jackie says

1241
01:27:35.040 --> 01:27:37.000
the same things when she does Supernatural Saturday. She's

1242
01:27:37.000 --> 01:27:39.880
like, I'm not just saying this for y'all. Like, I have to

1243
01:27:39.880 --> 01:27:40.920
listen to myself.

1244
01:27:42.200 --> 01:27:48.320
Yes. Yeah. And she Yeah, exactly. Yep. Yeah. So it's

1245
01:27:48.920 --> 01:27:51.280
a replay. Now I'm gonna go watch the replay because I want to

1246
01:27:51.280 --> 01:27:56.240
know. That's all right. It must have been because if I can't

1247
01:27:56.240 --> 01:28:04.280
remember it, it had it had to be. Okay. Good. Yeah. All right,

1248
01:28:04.280 --> 01:28:10.040
ladies. It was such a pleasure as always. I will. I will go

1249
01:28:10.040 --> 01:28:15.600
ahead and post the activation in the group here once I get off so

1250
01:28:15.600 --> 01:28:21.840
that y'all have that. And then I look forward to seeing all

1251
01:28:21.840 --> 01:28:24.600
those again, if you haven't done the clarity challenge from last

1252
01:28:24.600 --> 01:28:30.000
week, definitely don't forget to do it. Like if you feel like to

1253
01:28:30.000 --> 01:28:35.200
do it, do it. I actually had a one on one session. And it was

1254
01:28:35.200 --> 01:28:39.360
really powerful that I was like, Oh, that's gonna be helpful for

1255
01:28:39.360 --> 01:28:42.760
someone else that's not even in phase two. She's she moved over

1256
01:28:42.760 --> 01:28:48.600
to phase three. And it's helping her as well. And so I

1257
01:28:48.600 --> 01:28:51.360
definitely think there's some some breakthrough that can

1258
01:28:51.360 --> 01:28:54.800
happen through that. And same thing with the one for this

1259
01:28:54.800 --> 01:28:59.280
week as well. But get creative, have fun with it. Start

1260
01:28:59.280 --> 01:29:05.560
recognizing what what you're feeling and how it's how you how

1261
01:29:05.560 --> 01:29:11.680
you're allowing those feelings to you know, form attachment to

1262
01:29:11.680 --> 01:29:16.520
your identity. Because that's not what emotions are for.

1263
01:29:17.000 --> 01:29:21.400
They're invitations for us to, you know, they're a signal,

1264
01:29:21.480 --> 01:29:25.480
they're an indication for something for us to grow and

1265
01:29:25.480 --> 01:29:30.400
learn and heal. But they are not. They are not deciding

1266
01:29:30.400 --> 01:29:33.480
factors of who we are. Our feelings are not our identity.

1267
01:29:33.800 --> 01:29:41.200
Our pain is not our identity. Okay. Keep that in mind. I hope

1268
01:29:41.200 --> 01:29:49.280
I didn't miss anything in the chat. I will quickly look over

1269
01:29:49.280 --> 01:29:55.200
that and see what's in there. But for now, ladies, have a

1270
01:29:55.200 --> 01:30:00.040
great rest of your day and I will see you all next week.

1271
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.240
week. And yeah, don't be a stranger in the in the app. All

1272
01:30:04.240 --> 01:30:04.640
right.