WEBVTT 1 00:00:09.740 --> 00:00:17.360 just checking in here guys on what's going on with you heart work all things 2 00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:23.680 heart work related last year single related that kind of stuff so welcome 3 00:00:23.680 --> 00:00:31.160 those of you that are here tonight it's always usually pretty different every 4 00:00:31.160 --> 00:00:39.320 time we get together so it's kind of the way it goes so chef are you new to the 5 00:00:39.320 --> 00:00:44.480 program yeah it's been a few weeks now but these have been scarce or I've been 6 00:00:44.480 --> 00:00:49.560 traveling so this is a first that's awesome great welcome appreciate being 7 00:00:49.560 --> 00:00:52.880 here how'd you hear about last year single somebody else in the program 8 00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:59.840 oh okay somebody already in the program about you in and that's somebody that 9 00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:05.000 you know as a friend or someone that you're currently dating or dating dating 10 00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:11.120 awesome great welcome yeah that's we're good for you welcome then this is an 11 00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:18.440 opportunity to really just kind of like have all men on the call to kind of 12 00:01:18.440 --> 00:01:24.160 reflect on what's going on share I'll have you Jeff in just a few moments just 13 00:01:24.160 --> 00:01:27.800 kind of you know tell you tell us about yourself and sure what you do that kind 14 00:01:27.800 --> 00:01:34.080 of thing we always just kind of like to get to know the folks but just want to 15 00:01:34.080 --> 00:01:38.200 go around the room and just get some feedback from you guys what's going on 16 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:44.800 what's new what questions do you have I know we are in the midst of really 17 00:01:44.800 --> 00:01:54.560 retooling last year single all together two big updates that will be really 18 00:01:54.560 --> 00:02:01.040 affecting I think really more of our male audience is that we are taking the 19 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:06.920 last year single program co-ed we have had a version of last year single for 20 00:02:06.920 --> 00:02:10.840 men and resources that are in the app there that you know what you've signed 21 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:16.400 up for but we're taking it co-ed and there's going to be a completely different 22 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:23.600 approach to the functionality of last year single very much the same type of 23 00:02:23.600 --> 00:02:28.600 idea in terms of just hard work preparation for marriage best practices 24 00:02:28.600 --> 00:02:34.440 lot of discussion group coaching but at the same time Jackie's outlined sort of 25 00:02:34.440 --> 00:02:39.360 a 90 day blitz that really is going to be more of the core of the last year 26 00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:44.080 single program so you know many people that have been a part of the program 27 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:49.440 that maybe are brand new or relatively new within a couple months probably we 28 00:02:49.440 --> 00:02:57.000 will want to kind of revisit that 90 days some some people that have been in 29 00:02:57.000 --> 00:03:01.360 the program for quite some time might want to revisit that 90 day sort of run 30 00:03:01.360 --> 00:03:07.800 through in terms of the the approach to preparing for relationships so it's all 31 00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:17.200 good it'll be highly automated and with a new version of the app so that's really 32 00:03:17.200 --> 00:03:21.280 exciting and the fact that it's going to be integrated I think that would be 33 00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:26.920 really healthy for the community overall and then the other thing is 34 00:03:26.920 --> 00:03:33.160 something called a new thing called Jackie's list and Jackie's list came out 35 00:03:33.160 --> 00:03:41.760 of a concept that just made sense with regard to how men and women 36 00:03:41.760 --> 00:03:48.480 differently react to online community and so this will be a place Jackie's 37 00:03:48.480 --> 00:03:55.360 list will be a place for men to be spotlighted and for for women to have 38 00:03:55.360 --> 00:04:09.200 access to a sort of vetted group of men that are on Jackie's list and it's a 39 00:04:09.200 --> 00:04:15.920 way to kind of highlight men to women because men searching for women on an 40 00:04:15.920 --> 00:04:23.680 app is different than women searching for men on an app you know we can go into 41 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:28.240 long discussions about why that is and whether it's good or bad or fair or 42 00:04:28.240 --> 00:04:33.080 anything like that but it's just the nature as we've learned it's the nature 43 00:04:33.080 --> 00:04:40.440 of how men and women interact we do have proportionally fewer men involved in 44 00:04:40.440 --> 00:04:45.560 last year single than women that's just because again of the same nature of how 45 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:52.560 women and men commune interact you would be far more successful to take a group 46 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:58.560 of the same number of men out into the woods for a weekend bond over you know 47 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:01.920 a bonfire shooting thing 48 00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:11.120 asking them to come online and be vulnerable and talk about their feelings and all that 49 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:13.300 kind of stuff. 50 00:05:13.300 --> 00:05:17.960 Women, you just invite them to one Zoom meeting and they're just all in, you know, they don't 51 00:05:17.960 --> 00:05:23.080 have, they have no need to like warm up and get to know and open up and all that. 52 00:05:23.080 --> 00:05:24.520 They're just ready to go. 53 00:05:24.520 --> 00:05:29.960 And so just the mechanics of how we have run this community, we've learned a lot. 54 00:05:29.960 --> 00:05:32.440 In terms of like how men and women differ. 55 00:05:32.440 --> 00:05:37.480 So this is, I think, going to be a really great opportunity for a lot of guys to get 56 00:05:37.480 --> 00:05:39.080 really highlighted and spotlighted. 57 00:05:39.080 --> 00:05:44.440 Again, it kind of comes out of the spotlights we used to do single spotlights, but now it's 58 00:05:44.440 --> 00:05:47.520 a cultivated Jackie's list. 59 00:05:47.520 --> 00:05:53.900 And it will be a specific app and as part of our website that will be sort of an add-on 60 00:05:53.900 --> 00:05:55.360 if you will to last your single. 61 00:05:55.360 --> 00:06:02.040 So definitely it'd be a sort of a sizzle to wanting to definitely join last your single. 62 00:06:02.040 --> 00:06:05.720 And so since you're already in, and you're part of the program, you just get to be a 63 00:06:05.720 --> 00:06:09.520 part of that and I think it's going to be really good, especially for a lot of our existing 64 00:06:09.520 --> 00:06:10.520 members. 65 00:06:10.520 --> 00:06:13.920 So if you have questions about that, let me know, but just wanted to share those two 66 00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:16.160 things. 67 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:24.320 And then there's just a lot of, there'll be some more emphasis on one-on-one coaching 68 00:06:24.320 --> 00:06:25.600 coming down the road as well. 69 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:29.440 So that's part of the new era of last year's single, if you will. 70 00:06:29.440 --> 00:06:34.680 So we're taking, we've been ramping up the tech for a long time, takes a while when there's 71 00:06:34.680 --> 00:06:38.360 just one person or two persons kind of working on it. 72 00:06:38.360 --> 00:06:43.640 But with AI, there's a tremendous amount of ability now to be able to mechanize and 73 00:06:43.640 --> 00:06:48.280 automate and do things to where it just, you know, it makes more sense. 74 00:06:48.280 --> 00:06:51.600 So we're really happy about that. 75 00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:56.200 So we're taking the, I think, October to sort of like transition over and hopefully by 76 00:06:56.200 --> 00:06:59.680 November, we'll have everything kind of up and running. 77 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:04.440 So that's a little bit of a housekeeping there. 78 00:07:04.440 --> 00:07:09.400 Going around the room, who wants to kind of go first and you want to share anything going 79 00:07:09.400 --> 00:07:16.480 on guys, share, this is the opportunity to share some wins, to maybe ask a question about 80 00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:23.480 heart work, some of the curriculum, to ask about what's going on with your specific situation. 81 00:07:23.480 --> 00:07:26.400 Maybe even just, you know, maybe there's something that you just want to share that you're like, 82 00:07:26.400 --> 00:07:28.480 hey, that's what I'm going through. 83 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:31.600 And we can rally around, you know, for that for you. 84 00:07:31.600 --> 00:07:35.640 So I want to, I would like everybody to kind of just mention something. 85 00:07:35.640 --> 00:07:39.680 So who wants to start off here tonight? 86 00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:42.120 Anybody, anybody? 87 00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:46.880 If not, I'll just go ahead and call you out. 88 00:07:46.880 --> 00:07:47.880 Why don't we go ahead? 89 00:07:47.880 --> 00:07:48.880 Matthew Silverman. 90 00:07:48.880 --> 00:07:50.280 What do you, what do you got there? 91 00:07:50.280 --> 00:07:53.120 It's a beautiful day where you're at, brother. 92 00:07:53.120 --> 00:07:57.560 Um, pretty much the same. 93 00:07:57.560 --> 00:08:02.040 I guess one thing that's bothering that I, you know, I haven't figured out if I'm, 94 00:08:02.040 --> 00:08:04.080 I've been sticking around here a while. 95 00:08:04.080 --> 00:08:11.240 When I joined, I thought, you know, um, got it, I had had like a really rough patch most 96 00:08:11.240 --> 00:08:14.520 of my life and I thought everything was changing. 97 00:08:14.520 --> 00:08:19.120 I was dating like different women and somebody had told me about last year's single. 98 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:22.600 I'm trying to remember if that was actually what it was called at the time. 99 00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:24.120 And then I lost everything. 100 00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:25.080 I lost my job. 101 00:08:25.080 --> 00:08:30.760 I lost my church job after job and maybe I've overstayed my welcome. 102 00:08:30.760 --> 00:08:31.760 I don't know. 103 00:08:31.760 --> 00:08:37.440 Um, you know, as I go on to the coed, you know, I don't, I'm not in the financial situation 104 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:39.559 that women are looking for. 105 00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:44.039 I'm five to, I'm not the height that women are looking for. 106 00:08:44.039 --> 00:08:50.880 And, um, you know, and I'm struggling to try to, uh, get my life back to where it was. 107 00:08:50.880 --> 00:08:51.880 Yeah. 108 00:08:51.880 --> 00:08:55.400 No, I, you, you definitely have been through it for sure. 109 00:08:55.400 --> 00:08:58.640 Um, and there's a lot of people that have been through it. 110 00:08:58.640 --> 00:09:06.520 I mean, we can share, I get to share my testimony about that most difficult time in my life. 111 00:09:06.520 --> 00:09:10.360 And so that that's, that's completely understandable. 112 00:09:10.360 --> 00:09:17.400 Um, but at the same time, you know, there's, we tell the women a lot this too. 113 00:09:17.400 --> 00:09:22.880 It's just like, you know, they complain about like, Oh, there's no men and I'm like, well, 114 00:09:22.880 --> 00:09:23.880 we have, man, what are you talking about? 115 00:09:23.880 --> 00:09:24.880 There's no men. 116 00:09:24.880 --> 00:09:28.040 Like there's, there's, there is men. 117 00:09:28.040 --> 00:09:35.880 And first of all, the, the statistics of like men and women, it's not proportionally disparate 118 00:09:35.880 --> 00:09:41.480 in terms of the number of, of the genders, so to speak. 119 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:45.420 And you, you need, you just need one. 120 00:09:45.420 --> 00:09:52.360 And so the other thing is, is I know, I know there's a lot of preferences and others, a 121 00:09:52.360 --> 00:09:53.360 lot of things. 122 00:09:53.360 --> 00:09:56.720 That's one of the things I think that we're going to be going after a lot in this new era 123 00:09:56.720 --> 00:10:00.000 is trying to help people get clarity. 124 00:10:08.860 --> 00:10:15.600 better at finding the they're better at finding the matches rather than having 125 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:25.980 to go through a lot of individuals to to put that off and I wouldn't count 126 00:10:25.980 --> 00:10:29.300 yourself out Matthew you're not ever stayed you're welcome for sure I'll tell 127 00:10:29.300 --> 00:10:36.880 you that there's there's a lot of change a lot of shifting and there's 128 00:10:36.880 --> 00:10:42.360 breakthrough coming I know that sounds like it just kind of like a pipe dream 129 00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:49.440 but man you've been through so much that there is definitely something that's 130 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:53.520 going to break through on the horizon for you I know that for sure and there's 131 00:10:53.520 --> 00:10:57.800 been a few things that have kind of like reared their head I know you're you're 132 00:10:57.800 --> 00:11:03.920 driving a new car yeah I'm blessed with a new car it was a gift yeah but it was 133 00:11:03.920 --> 00:11:08.900 definitely a blessing but you know like what Jackie would talk about on a 134 00:11:08.900 --> 00:11:12.860 supernatural Saturday what's changed in a year and I feel like why I'm doing the 135 00:11:12.860 --> 00:11:18.300 same thing but when the new car yeah yeah so I get I mean it gets a little 136 00:11:18.300 --> 00:11:24.540 frustrating I'm still applying for jobs like crazy it's a difficult relationship 137 00:11:24.540 --> 00:11:31.940 with my two grown daughters should my oldest doesn't really allow me to see my 138 00:11:31.940 --> 00:11:37.620 granddaughter we go back and forth and when it when I'm available and she just 139 00:11:37.620 --> 00:11:44.100 keeps putting it off and putting it off and it just gets really frustrating my 140 00:11:44.100 --> 00:11:50.940 youngest daughter I'm helping her out by watching her dogs all of a sudden she 141 00:11:50.940 --> 00:11:55.340 was on good terms with me she actually came out a little more supportive than 142 00:11:55.340 --> 00:11:59.860 I expected about the new car which was a blessing but on the other hand maybe 143 00:11:59.860 --> 00:12:05.180 that's just because I'm watching her dog and staying at her place in LA are you 144 00:12:05.180 --> 00:12:09.780 originally from that area in California I am born and raised right here in the 145 00:12:09.780 --> 00:12:15.420 San Fernando Valley yeah there's millions of people out there 146 00:12:15.420 --> 00:12:21.940 I mean this is kind of a shortage of people for sure yeah no I mean they're 147 00:12:21.940 --> 00:12:29.900 definitely is and it's just a matter of you know where things are where things 148 00:12:29.900 --> 00:12:37.800 will go I'm still you know like I said I'm applying for jobs like crazy I'm 149 00:12:37.800 --> 00:12:42.060 reaching out to different attacks and everything because working the six seven 150 00:12:42.060 --> 00:12:49.020 jobs a week yeah I'm still not I'm still barely getting by and everything I'm in 151 00:12:49.020 --> 00:12:54.260 the car right now cuz I'm getting ready to pick up a catering order for a company 152 00:12:54.260 --> 00:12:59.460 and then I'm gonna go home and go through the different applications praise 153 00:12:59.460 --> 00:13:04.780 God I was contacted by a recruiter today so I need to go ahead and reply to that 154 00:13:04.780 --> 00:13:10.060 email I can't do it over the phones I need to go through everything to get the 155 00:13:10.060 --> 00:13:14.780 proper match and I have a different animation events coming up in the next 156 00:13:14.780 --> 00:13:20.780 couple of months yeah my son's this next weekend's gonna be at what is it called 157 00:13:20.780 --> 00:13:25.660 something it's like fashion it's not fashion con but something con that's the 158 00:13:25.660 --> 00:13:31.260 fashion centric sort of thing starts next weekend this coming weekend and 159 00:13:31.260 --> 00:13:36.860 Jackie and I are gonna be out in your area in the next several weeks so we 160 00:13:36.860 --> 00:13:40.220 definitely have to make sure I know we missed you last time but we definitely 161 00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:42.940 have to make sure that we you know touch base with you have coffee or 162 00:13:42.940 --> 00:13:47.180 something so now we're gonna be in an area a couple times actually so we got 163 00:13:47.180 --> 00:13:52.700 to go out and back and out and back several times over the next 60 days or 164 00:13:52.700 --> 00:13:57.540 so so we'll definitely make sure we need to connect on that okay yeah that'll be 165 00:13:57.540 --> 00:14:02.780 good that'll be good to to connecting give you some encouragement who else on 166 00:14:02.780 --> 00:14:06.260 here Tim go ahead and kind of give us an update what's going on with you man 167 00:14:06.260 --> 00:14:15.860 um nothing in particular outside of working 50 or 60 hours a week still 168 00:14:15.860 --> 00:14:23.420 okay and yeah it's heavy at work meeting anybody meeting anybody new any that 169 00:14:23.420 --> 00:14:34.660 anybody different um no are you in a place for a a lane to where you would 170 00:14:34.660 --> 00:14:38.340 actually meet anybody different like 171 00:14:38.340 --> 00:14:46.180 based on where you're going not currently trying to for various reasons 172 00:14:46.180 --> 00:14:50.180 I understand that yeah I understand you've talked a lot about that before as 173 00:14:50.180 --> 00:14:54.900 well okay uh Blake are you on there saw you 174 00:14:54.900 --> 00:14:58.100 a little bit earlier he stood with us 175 00:14:58.100 --> 00:15:00.100 You 176 00:15:05.700 --> 00:15:11.500 Yeah, I'm still, I don't know, fairly new to the program. I want to say maybe a couple 177 00:15:11.500 --> 00:15:18.360 months ago I started. Yep. I don't know. As far as wins, I've been using, I guess, one 178 00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:25.120 of the dating coaches, Brian Cooper. Yeah, I was working with him. He suggested I buy 179 00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:31.560 earmony first. Okay. Just some statistics on that, but I've been tracking for myself. I've 180 00:15:31.560 --> 00:15:38.920 contacted, I'd say like over 200 matches on that. It ran out of matches like within the 181 00:15:38.920 --> 00:15:46.560 first week. I live in the Knoxville area within 150 miles. I calculated there's like 15 million 182 00:15:46.560 --> 00:15:51.400 people and it ran out of matches. So really this kind of a ghost town of an app. I don't 183 00:15:51.400 --> 00:15:57.220 know. Like if I was doing something wrong there, I have one date out of that whole thing. 184 00:15:57.220 --> 00:16:07.160 Only two people within my area like ever responded like within like 40 miles. So yeah, I only 185 00:16:07.160 --> 00:16:14.040 have like about a 9% rate where like after I click on a profile and like leave some kind 186 00:16:14.040 --> 00:16:18.320 of question like actually putting an attention like reading profiles and like responding 187 00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:24.460 with a question on the profile, only about 9% ever bothered to reply back, which is kind 188 00:16:24.460 --> 00:16:28.720 of disheartening, right? Well, I mean, you can't, yeah, I mean, it can be discouraging 189 00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:32.520 in terms of people just looking numbers like that and the apps are, you know, notoriously. 190 00:16:32.520 --> 00:16:37.840 But it's the truth. Like, I don't know if like this is just like how women like play 191 00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:43.200 with these apps like it's just like for attention or whatever, but it's like a very low, like 192 00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:49.800 even just response rate. But I don't know. Out of that, I have been texting, like I get 193 00:16:49.800 --> 00:16:53.160 there's like, and I don't know what to do about this, but texting like two different 194 00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:59.600 women. Okay, a few years younger than me, but like one of them lives like five hours 195 00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:05.319 away and another one lives about three hours away. Okay. But I don't know if that's like 196 00:17:05.319 --> 00:17:13.119 worth pursuing. I know, I know recently, you just had a call with Jackie. Within the 197 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:17.000 next last couple of weeks, is that correct? Did I miss that I make that mistake? 198 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:26.160 I don't think so. I've only talked to her on these meetings. Okay. All right. I thought 199 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:29.760 you, I thought it was you had had a call. Somebody else had a call with her just recently and 200 00:17:29.760 --> 00:17:36.400 I'm just trying to think of, I thought it was you. Um, yeah. So no, the apps man, yeah, 201 00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:43.600 they can be, um, describing any other app yet. So if there's, yeah, yeah, there's more 202 00:17:43.600 --> 00:17:48.840 different. Have you tried Bumble? I haven't tried that one yet. Have you tried Bumble? 203 00:17:48.840 --> 00:17:54.640 See what see what apps there you never know. Um, it's so funny because the reason that 204 00:17:54.640 --> 00:18:02.040 apps, um, or I'd say it this way, the reason that we don't like, oh, the apps are terrible, 205 00:18:02.040 --> 00:18:06.880 they're worthless, whatever, is because we still ask people all the times, like, Hey, 206 00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:10.760 how'd you meet? And people are like, yeah, I'm doing that online. And it's like, why, 207 00:18:10.760 --> 00:18:16.160 if people are still actually meeting online, um, with, with any kind of success, it's, 208 00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:21.600 it's not trying to like hold up the apps like, Oh, this is a great place. I'm just saying 209 00:18:21.600 --> 00:18:27.840 that since people actually still functionally do connect online, it still becomes sort of 210 00:18:27.840 --> 00:18:32.020 a valid thing. I don't know why. So we just end up talking about like, well, what does 211 00:18:32.020 --> 00:18:37.960 the best, you know, practices of, you know, trying to, you know, let yourself be known 212 00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:42.020 on apps and, you know, what are the best things that you can do in order to put your best foot 213 00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:47.840 forward on those? So it's definitely worth the try of putting your, all of your eggs 214 00:18:47.840 --> 00:18:54.640 in that basket. Obviously is very difficult. So I would try Bumble. See that's see if that 215 00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:59.300 works out for you. See if it's any different. See if there's any chance. Um, and then there's 216 00:18:59.300 --> 00:19:06.420 a couple more that can be tried as well. So, um, so try that. That's my advice at, at 217 00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:12.980 this point, um, Christopher DeLuca, are you there? Are you able to talk, man? 218 00:19:12.980 --> 00:19:14.660 DeLucia, but close enough. 219 00:19:14.660 --> 00:19:16.000 DeLucia. Sorry, buddy. 220 00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:23.400 Yeah, people get around all the time. How's it going? How are you doing? 221 00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:28.440 I'm okay. Uh, we just want to know what I've been going through those. 222 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:32.660 Kind of like what's new. Any wins, any, anything that's going on with you? 223 00:19:32.660 --> 00:19:38.400 I wouldn't say any wins, but, um, I've, let's see, I had my discovery call with Jackie 224 00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:43.880 about seven weeks ago. Yeah. Um, so I've just been kind of in a holding pattern to get 225 00:19:43.880 --> 00:19:49.440 spotlighted, but you kind of went over what's going on with revamping LYS and the, uh, 226 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:53.040 Jackie's listening, all the stuff. So that makes sense. Why there's been, oh, delaying 227 00:19:53.040 --> 00:19:59.040 that. So I'm just kind of holding on. Um, I, and then, uh, I was in the book club for 228 00:20:04.680 --> 00:20:12.480 But, yeah, it's just been a lot going on, but I don't know if there was that. 229 00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:16.520 Some interesting things I may or may not have learned through the entire process. 230 00:20:16.520 --> 00:20:20.440 So I have no, I don't really think I have any major wins to speak of. 231 00:20:20.440 --> 00:20:24.760 The only thing I'll maybe point to is that I had what I thought was the most brilliant 232 00:20:24.760 --> 00:20:33.000 idea in a long time when I just sat down and thought about why I'm so pathetic when it 233 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:37.000 comes to asking women out on a date, not that there's many around. 234 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:39.200 So I came up with what I thought was this great idea. 235 00:20:39.200 --> 00:20:44.920 I made these random encounter cards, had to have like a scannable QR code on it that 236 00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:48.320 pointed my website and basically asked the lady out for me. 237 00:20:48.320 --> 00:20:51.120 So I don't know, it was kind of a fun idea. 238 00:20:51.120 --> 00:20:56.800 I think someone in the book club thought it was a funny idea and I had a chance to test 239 00:20:56.800 --> 00:21:00.080 it out on somebody at church yesterday, which I don't think she was very impressed, which 240 00:21:00.080 --> 00:21:01.160 I didn't get a response. 241 00:21:01.160 --> 00:21:03.440 So at least I handed one out to somebody. 242 00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:05.560 So that's one of 30. 243 00:21:05.560 --> 00:21:10.080 So I'm imagining statistics are going to tell me out of the 30. 244 00:21:10.080 --> 00:21:11.080 I'd print it. 245 00:21:11.080 --> 00:21:14.280 I'll be lucky if I get one, but it's worth it. 246 00:21:14.280 --> 00:21:19.720 You know what's funny about that is that, you know, I don't think women would respond 247 00:21:19.720 --> 00:21:28.000 well to being invited or you know, like reached out to like with a QR code, but the reverse 248 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:32.160 actually might be true. 249 00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:37.480 Women reaching out to men with a QR code, because men would be like inclined to just 250 00:21:37.480 --> 00:21:42.720 like, hey, whatever, you know, this obviously this QR code, see if it's something, you know, 251 00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:46.280 and so it might, there might be something to that. 252 00:21:46.280 --> 00:21:51.880 It just might be something that you facilitate going the other direction, helping someone 253 00:21:51.880 --> 00:21:55.880 else out, helping another person. 254 00:21:55.880 --> 00:22:04.320 And then, you know, we're always encouraging action for others that then tends to have 255 00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:06.520 a reaction for ourselves. 256 00:22:06.520 --> 00:22:09.200 Like, you know, what would you make happen for others? 257 00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:10.920 We feel like God makes happen for you. 258 00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:13.280 So maybe some reciprocation for that. 259 00:22:13.280 --> 00:22:14.280 Who knows? 260 00:22:14.280 --> 00:22:16.160 That's a thought. 261 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:20.360 And if it's something that you're kind of a developer and that kind of thing, maybe there's 262 00:22:20.360 --> 00:22:21.360 something to it. 263 00:22:21.360 --> 00:22:26.240 It's an interesting idea and I love the fact that you're trying and I love the fact that 264 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:33.240 you're, you know, trying to get some deep thought, that's one thing that men struggle 265 00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:34.240 with I think. 266 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:39.320 It's like really, really getting into a to not deep thought like as in like, they're 267 00:22:39.320 --> 00:22:45.080 not deep, but as an introspective thinking and that's one of the things I think that 268 00:22:45.080 --> 00:22:48.960 men are challenged with, especially in the air relationships, just naturally we're, we're 269 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.600 fixers. 270 00:22:50.600 --> 00:22:51.600 We're, we're see a problem. 271 00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:52.600 We want to fix it. 272 00:22:52.600 --> 00:22:55.680 We want to get into details where we are detailed individuals. 273 00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:57.440 We are functional men. 274 00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:04.280 We're interested in things by nature, but we're not necessarily interested in people as much 275 00:23:04.280 --> 00:23:06.760 by nature as the feminine. 276 00:23:06.760 --> 00:23:15.840 So then that's where we're just like the innate part of us in terms of relating and just connection. 277 00:23:15.840 --> 00:23:20.760 Those are things that, you know, our gender we struggle with. 278 00:23:20.760 --> 00:23:23.000 So these are the, these are the things that we need to help with. 279 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:30.000 So the fact that you guys are even here showing up doing this or being as introspective as 280 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:31.000 possible. 281 00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:32.920 I mean, it's kudos. 282 00:23:32.920 --> 00:23:36.680 So, and that's kind of stuff we're going to be highlighting. 283 00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:41.520 I think that there's going to be an opportunity for men to be highlighted, not just like, 284 00:23:41.520 --> 00:23:42.820 Hey, look at this picture. 285 00:23:42.820 --> 00:23:46.040 This is this guy and he's super successful, whatever. 286 00:23:46.040 --> 00:23:47.040 It's an opportunity. 287 00:23:47.040 --> 00:23:51.440 I think to really highlight some of the guys in a way that will be unique and I think we'll 288 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:59.360 be able to let women see a little bit more what's going on there rather than just a profile. 289 00:23:59.360 --> 00:24:01.080 So we're excited about that. 290 00:24:01.080 --> 00:24:05.840 Jeff, give us an idea of like where you were like, where are you from? 291 00:24:05.840 --> 00:24:06.840 What do you do? 292 00:24:06.840 --> 00:24:07.840 Yeah. 293 00:24:07.840 --> 00:24:08.840 Sure. 294 00:24:08.840 --> 00:24:09.840 Nice to meet all of you. 295 00:24:09.840 --> 00:24:12.280 Thanks for for sharing your stories. 296 00:24:12.280 --> 00:24:16.560 Canadian who grew up in the Calgary area, but has lived in Palm Springs, California the 297 00:24:16.560 --> 00:24:18.560 last 14 years. 298 00:24:18.560 --> 00:24:19.560 Oh, cool. 299 00:24:19.560 --> 00:24:20.560 That's it. 300 00:24:20.560 --> 00:24:21.560 That's a difference. 301 00:24:21.560 --> 00:24:22.560 That is whiplash. 302 00:24:22.560 --> 00:24:23.560 Yeah. 303 00:24:23.560 --> 00:24:27.880 I traded hard hard winters for hard summers and hard summers are way easier to shovel. 304 00:24:27.880 --> 00:24:28.880 Yeah. 305 00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:29.880 Yeah. 306 00:24:29.880 --> 00:24:30.880 Sure. 307 00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:36.600 So when we lived in Canada, we would vacation in the desert and when you live in the desert, 308 00:24:36.600 --> 00:24:37.600 you go ski. 309 00:24:37.600 --> 00:24:42.760 So basically, we want whatever we don't have, which is not totally funny. 310 00:24:42.760 --> 00:24:46.200 It's kind of how we're wired as people and as men. 311 00:24:46.200 --> 00:24:47.200 Right. 312 00:24:47.200 --> 00:24:51.800 So there's a deeper truth in that, but I've lived here for 14 years divorced coming up 313 00:24:51.800 --> 00:24:57.520 on three years and I'll talk more about that in a minute. 314 00:24:57.520 --> 00:25:00.040 I consult, I have my own consulting company, do work. 315 00:25:01.800 --> 00:25:06.640 Adjunct teach in my margins and have three grown kids, 316 00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:09.520 22 to 27 of son-in-law. 317 00:25:09.520 --> 00:25:14.360 And began dating online in probably April. 318 00:25:14.360 --> 00:25:18.360 Finally hopped on apps for two plus years after marriage. 319 00:25:18.360 --> 00:25:20.680 I just decided to give it a break. 320 00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:25.680 And I think Jackie would call it soul work. 321 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:27.080 It was just a lot of deep work. 322 00:25:27.080 --> 00:25:31.720 I've come out of a very complex marriage, 32 years. 323 00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:32.480 Wow. 324 00:25:32.480 --> 00:25:35.360 And I'll maybe keep that story short today. 325 00:25:35.360 --> 00:25:37.360 But there was a lot of hard work to do. 326 00:25:37.360 --> 00:25:42.400 And to a point where I'm actually glad for a divorce 327 00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:46.280 and what God did in me through bringing me to my knees. 328 00:25:46.280 --> 00:25:47.480 Like, I wish it on no one. 329 00:25:47.480 --> 00:25:51.560 But oh gosh, it took some things to get my attention. 330 00:25:51.560 --> 00:25:52.960 And he's just such a good father. 331 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:55.240 So it began dating in the spring. 332 00:25:55.240 --> 00:25:57.040 I was kind of like, I think I'm ready. 333 00:25:57.040 --> 00:26:00.800 And just wanted to kind of learn how to talk to women 334 00:26:00.800 --> 00:26:01.920 again, honestly. 335 00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:05.320 As so many guys in my life post divorce, great guys. 336 00:26:05.320 --> 00:26:07.960 But thought I would just give it a try and end up meeting. 337 00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:10.840 Meeting somebody who I've been seeing now since me. 338 00:26:10.840 --> 00:26:12.200 And it's been going to be a long time. 339 00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:13.760 Do you did meet her online? 340 00:26:13.760 --> 00:26:15.640 I did meet her online through-- 341 00:26:15.640 --> 00:26:17.560 I think it was ARC. 342 00:26:17.560 --> 00:26:18.600 ARC, OK. 343 00:26:18.600 --> 00:26:20.800 OK, that's another one. 344 00:26:20.800 --> 00:26:23.440 Blake, do you can try ARC? 345 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:25.440 ARK. 346 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:29.760 Where is she in relation to you, geography? 347 00:26:29.760 --> 00:26:31.160 Oklahoma. 348 00:26:31.160 --> 00:26:32.120 Oh, wow. 349 00:26:32.120 --> 00:26:35.040 Yeah, so it's been a lot of work. 350 00:26:35.040 --> 00:26:36.920 But we've had three face faces. 351 00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:39.120 We'll have our fourth next week. 352 00:26:39.120 --> 00:26:41.480 And I try online face to face. 353 00:26:41.480 --> 00:26:42.560 Not in person? 354 00:26:42.560 --> 00:26:43.960 No, no, we've met in person. 355 00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:45.320 Oh, OK, wow. 356 00:26:45.320 --> 00:26:47.920 Yeah, no, it's been an amazing click. 357 00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:50.160 So there's something there. 358 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:51.640 OK, OK. 359 00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:52.920 And what's her name? 360 00:26:52.920 --> 00:26:54.040 Shana. 361 00:26:54.040 --> 00:26:55.080 Shana, OK. 362 00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:57.480 I don't know if I know Shana yet. 363 00:26:57.480 --> 00:26:58.480 Awesome. 364 00:26:58.480 --> 00:27:00.280 That's great, Jeff. 365 00:27:00.280 --> 00:27:02.720 Shana's actually on the ladies' admin team, 366 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.720 so you might know her. 367 00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:05.240 OK. 368 00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:06.760 First, your single? 369 00:27:06.760 --> 00:27:09.160 OK, awesome. 370 00:27:09.160 --> 00:27:09.800 Awesome. 371 00:27:09.800 --> 00:27:15.960 Well, I really appreciate you being here and showing up. 372 00:27:15.960 --> 00:27:19.520 Are you diving into the hardware curriculum at all? 373 00:27:19.520 --> 00:27:23.160 Yeah, I pretty much finished up to the third. 374 00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:25.720 But scheduling has not allowed me to be doing any of this. 375 00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:27.400 So I've just been doing it solo. 376 00:27:27.400 --> 00:27:30.800 Some of it overlaps with some things I've done in counseling. 377 00:27:30.800 --> 00:27:32.640 But it's been really-- 378 00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:33.960 it's been good, good reminders. 379 00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:35.800 OK, OK. 380 00:27:35.800 --> 00:27:38.080 Awesome, awesome. 381 00:27:38.080 --> 00:27:38.760 OK, great. 382 00:27:38.760 --> 00:27:40.000 Well, thanks for being here, Jeff. 383 00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.520 Thanks for introducing yourself and letting us know who you are. 384 00:27:44.520 --> 00:27:47.280 All right, guys. 385 00:27:47.280 --> 00:27:52.840 Anything that I can answer or encourage you with. 386 00:27:52.840 --> 00:27:56.280 Anybody have any questions off the top of their head 387 00:27:56.280 --> 00:28:03.120 that we can get into at this moment? 388 00:28:03.120 --> 00:28:06.840 I'm going to leave the floor open before we close. 389 00:28:06.840 --> 00:28:15.120 Any questions? 390 00:28:15.120 --> 00:28:18.440 As far as revamping and everything, 391 00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:21.000 something that I've been talking and mentioning to Jackie 392 00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:24.440 about ever since I joined is 8 o'clock Eastern 393 00:28:24.440 --> 00:28:29.120 and 5 o'clock here is a really tough time. 394 00:28:29.120 --> 00:28:31.960 I know that there was talk about early on. 395 00:28:31.960 --> 00:28:35.600 We're going to try to maybe switch it up back and forth. 396 00:28:35.600 --> 00:28:40.080 So as new things are getting revamped, maybe try 397 00:28:40.080 --> 00:28:42.360 to find a way that's a little more convenient here 398 00:28:42.360 --> 00:28:43.800 on the West Coast. 399 00:28:43.800 --> 00:28:46.200 Yeah, no, you're right about that. 400 00:28:46.200 --> 00:28:55.040 The other thing is I've never taken the time to truly look 401 00:28:55.040 --> 00:28:58.880 at our audience and see how many people are East West, 402 00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:00.080 that kind of thing. 403 00:29:00.080 --> 00:29:03.240 I know that we have people all over the country. 404 00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:06.320 But I've never really calculated our hotspots 405 00:29:06.320 --> 00:29:11.800 and kind of seeing how that time change or those time 406 00:29:11.800 --> 00:29:14.160 differences would affect meetings. 407 00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:17.200 We always kind of just dealt with it. 408 00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:20.800 But that's a good point you bring up. 409 00:29:20.800 --> 00:29:24.200 Like I said, with a lot of the automation 410 00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:26.640 that we can do now, maybe there's 411 00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:29.920 something we can come up with that will serve the time 412 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:31.560 differences a lot better. 413 00:29:31.560 --> 00:29:33.200 So thanks for mentioning that. 414 00:29:33.200 --> 00:29:37.640 Anybody else? 415 00:29:37.640 --> 00:29:42.760 Can I ask you a question, David? 416 00:29:42.760 --> 00:29:46.000 Yeah, I know you probably didn't go through the program 417 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:49.200 before you got married. 418 00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:51.920 But the revealing to healing, it's 419 00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:55.520 kind of just a significant way that section has been recent. 420 00:29:55.520 --> 00:29:57.160 It's been on my mind. 421 00:29:57.160 --> 00:30:01.120 Can you give an example of one thing God maybe did in you? 422 00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:09.760 Yeah, I think in general, 423 00:30:09.760 --> 00:30:16.040 you know, my story, I don't know if you know our story yet. 424 00:30:16.040 --> 00:30:20.500 I mean, we tell it all the time in the community and it gets around a lot, but 425 00:30:20.500 --> 00:30:28.080 you know, Jackie and I were are also both divorced. 426 00:30:29.320 --> 00:30:37.720 We were, I describe it like we were on the tail end of of our vocational ministry experiences. 427 00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:45.320 We would both been in ministry and working at churches, pretty significant size churches 428 00:30:45.320 --> 00:30:54.360 back in our hometown and her church fell apart because the pastor embezzled a bunch of money 429 00:30:54.360 --> 00:31:02.120 and it ended up getting found out and went to prison. And so the church fell apart and everybody's, 430 00:31:02.120 --> 00:31:07.080 you know, life unraveled because they were so connected and it was kind of a, 431 00:31:07.080 --> 00:31:14.200 come a smaller church, but it varied impacting church in the area, but it was very difficult. 432 00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:24.200 And prior to meeting Jackie, my wife, I was youth pastoring at a very large church at the 433 00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:30.120 time. I had been at that church for 20 plus years. I had taught Bible college and 434 00:31:30.120 --> 00:31:37.080 led worship and did a bunch of things in the church. At the time, I was a youth pastor and 435 00:31:37.080 --> 00:31:43.160 she was the lower school principal and she just started deconstructing. And she's like, you know, 436 00:31:43.160 --> 00:31:50.680 I don't really think I love you and I know that I've ever loved you. And, and I, you know, 437 00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:55.880 there was just too, it was just too much. And it was a lot of immersion in the environment 438 00:31:55.880 --> 00:32:03.560 of the ministry that we were, that we were a part of at the time. And I realized that 439 00:32:03.560 --> 00:32:15.640 well after the fact that too much of a good thing or something that is supposedly really good, 440 00:32:15.640 --> 00:32:20.440 we were kind of living the American dream. We had bought a big house expected to live there 441 00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:28.120 for the rest of our lives. We had grown up doing church, that kind of thing. So it's like we were 442 00:32:28.120 --> 00:32:36.520 kind of coming up to the pinnacle of, you know, success and what we knew or we thought of in our 443 00:32:36.520 --> 00:32:44.040 paradigm, very small paradigm as this is it. And then it all unraveled surprisingly. 444 00:32:45.560 --> 00:32:50.920 And there's been a lot of healing through that over the years. I mean, my ex-wife has been 445 00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:56.680 remarried. You know, we spend time together with them because we have grandchildren together, 446 00:32:56.680 --> 00:33:01.720 we have kids together, of course, but it's not awkward. There's been a lot of reconciliation in 447 00:33:01.720 --> 00:33:07.160 terms of just like getting along and being friends and that kind of thing, not so much with Jackie's 448 00:33:07.160 --> 00:33:18.840 husband. So there's a lot of healing there, but a lot of the revealing for me was in spite of 449 00:33:18.840 --> 00:33:25.480 what I look like on paper, I look like kind of a good guy on paper. My wife looked like the bad 450 00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:31.080 guy because she was the one that kind of like lost her mind and just walked away from everything 451 00:33:31.080 --> 00:33:38.360 that we all knew and then broke the family up. And so I could easily blame her. Everyone could 452 00:33:38.360 --> 00:33:44.680 blame her. Everyone, you know, the kids could blame her and all that kind of stuff. But I failed. 453 00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:53.480 I failed my marriage doing what I thought was the right and great and wonderful and the most 454 00:33:53.480 --> 00:33:59.800 blessed thing. And I'm not saying that ministry is that great. What I'm saying is is I just thought 455 00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:08.040 I was doing all the right things and I still failed. And to me, it wasn't like, you know, 456 00:34:08.040 --> 00:34:15.560 there was a bunch of arguing. It was really bad for a long time. There was so much, you know, 457 00:34:15.560 --> 00:34:21.080 unresolved herd and anger that, you know, it just finally came to divorce. That wasn't really my 458 00:34:21.080 --> 00:34:27.480 story. And that's the most surprising thing about it. Yet at the same time, I realized that 459 00:34:28.360 --> 00:34:37.560 I was not attentive to my marriage and my family. I was not engaged. I was not 460 00:34:37.560 --> 00:34:45.960 relationally involved. I wasn't giving my wife and my kids what they needed in order to I was 461 00:34:45.960 --> 00:34:57.080 prioritizing my agenda over relationship. And I think that that's probably was a 462 00:34:57.080 --> 00:34:59.960 tremendous healing, but unfortunately. 463 00:35:02.080 --> 00:35:06.520 And a lot of what we teach now in last year's single 464 00:35:06.520 --> 00:35:15.720 comes from a season of us doing our heart work, 465 00:35:15.720 --> 00:35:21.040 Jackie primarily doing a lot of heart work from her, 466 00:35:21.040 --> 00:35:24.280 even her own childhood, her own rearing, 467 00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:26.800 where there was a lot of trauma, there was a lot of damage, 468 00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:31.280 there was a lot of craziness. 469 00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:37.200 And there was a tremendous story behind all of it. 470 00:35:37.200 --> 00:35:42.440 But she lived out the heart work process. 471 00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:45.920 And then the Lord just revealed to her that, hey, 472 00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:48.640 this is a structure, this is a protocol, 473 00:35:48.640 --> 00:35:53.400 this is a multi-step process that is able to be repeated 474 00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:57.000 and taught to a lot of people and they'll get a lot of breakthrough. 475 00:35:57.000 --> 00:36:00.080 And when she started teaching heart work at first, 476 00:36:00.080 --> 00:36:01.800 it was just heart work. 477 00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:05.120 And some of the results coming out of that work 478 00:36:05.120 --> 00:36:08.600 where people started to find their mate, 479 00:36:08.600 --> 00:36:11.200 they started to get married, they started to get in relationships. 480 00:36:11.200 --> 00:36:17.120 It was a result, it was a precipitation of doing heart work. 481 00:36:17.120 --> 00:36:22.160 And that's how the brand or the teaching last year's single 482 00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:25.480 came to be, was out of that. 483 00:36:25.480 --> 00:36:30.320 And so the reason that revealing it for healing is so strong 484 00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:36.280 is because you want to be healthy, 485 00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:39.080 even though my first marriage didn't work out. 486 00:36:39.080 --> 00:36:42.640 And even though it wasn't a lot of things 487 00:36:42.640 --> 00:36:46.960 that I could point to and blame because I really needed 488 00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:51.960 to look back at myself and I could see my failures now. 489 00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:56.280 And it's affected my children, it's affected my life. 490 00:36:56.280 --> 00:37:01.960 I can't be in a second marriage and have it go the same way. 491 00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:04.440 So I had to learn through the process of what 492 00:37:04.440 --> 00:37:07.720 we've been teaching for now the last six, seven years, eight 493 00:37:07.720 --> 00:37:12.440 years, and lived it out and walked it out for 10 or 12 years 494 00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:13.840 prior to that because now we're married. 495 00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:18.680 We now are going to celebrate 20 years next year, Jackie and I. 496 00:37:18.680 --> 00:37:25.800 And what's been revealed in our past failures 497 00:37:25.800 --> 00:37:32.920 and the healing from that is the strength that which now makes 498 00:37:32.920 --> 00:37:35.360 our marriage incredibly great. 499 00:37:35.360 --> 00:37:36.640 Does that mean our marriage is perfect? 500 00:37:36.640 --> 00:37:39.600 No, not in the least. 501 00:37:39.600 --> 00:37:43.440 We still bicker and argue and we get on each other's nerves 502 00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:47.360 and we don't always do the right things and we mess up 503 00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:50.680 and we screw up big time and all that. 504 00:37:50.680 --> 00:37:59.080 But there's just a greater grace to come towards reconciliation 505 00:37:59.080 --> 00:38:04.680 first and prioritize that first over everything, 506 00:38:04.680 --> 00:38:08.480 over our business, over the rest of our lives, 507 00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:13.280 over the rest of our family, over anything, any other priority 508 00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:15.800 that even sounds good. 509 00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:18.520 There's a lot of things that we could spend our time doing 510 00:38:18.520 --> 00:38:24.160 that sounds good that's like, oh, we feed the poor 511 00:38:24.160 --> 00:38:27.600 and we do really great humanitarian things 512 00:38:27.600 --> 00:38:29.080 and we're doing really good work. 513 00:38:29.080 --> 00:38:34.040 And I'm a really good at over here doing some sort of job, 514 00:38:34.040 --> 00:38:36.680 making money or whatever. 515 00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:39.160 And you could herald those things, 516 00:38:39.160 --> 00:38:41.520 but the things that really matter 517 00:38:41.520 --> 00:38:45.400 are the connections that we have. 518 00:38:45.400 --> 00:38:51.160 And prioritizing those relationships over our agenda. 519 00:38:51.160 --> 00:38:52.520 I don't know if that answered your question. 520 00:38:52.520 --> 00:39:01.080 But it was a little simplified, but a lot of it was pride, David. 521 00:39:01.080 --> 00:39:02.720 What is pride in-- 522 00:39:02.720 --> 00:39:05.760 It's just a lot of pride in a life and accomplishments. 523 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.680 And I'll raise my hand to that when I get it. 524 00:39:08.680 --> 00:39:09.240 Yeah, yeah. 525 00:39:09.240 --> 00:39:10.640 Thank you for sharing that. 526 00:39:10.640 --> 00:39:12.240 Yeah, yeah. 527 00:39:12.240 --> 00:39:12.740 Yeah. 528 00:39:15.200 --> 00:39:18.360 Blake, you got your hand raised. 529 00:39:18.360 --> 00:39:22.720 Yeah, I mean, can I make a little counterpoint to that? 530 00:39:22.720 --> 00:39:25.720 Because in my marriage, it always 531 00:39:25.720 --> 00:39:29.080 felt like I was trying everything to keep it together. 532 00:39:29.080 --> 00:39:32.840 And I had all the time in the world to give to my ex. 533 00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:40.160 So it wasn't that I was denying my attention. 534 00:39:40.160 --> 00:39:44.600 But sometimes it is like the other person, though. 535 00:39:44.600 --> 00:39:49.040 And I feel like if you beat yourself up after a divorce, 536 00:39:49.040 --> 00:39:52.400 trying to figure out, oh, what could have I done differently, 537 00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.160 it still could have fallen apart. 538 00:39:54.160 --> 00:39:57.520 And there could have been nothing 539 00:39:57.520 --> 00:40:00.960 you could have changed to make things right. 540 00:40:05.600 --> 00:40:07.800 No, I understand what you're saying. 541 00:40:07.800 --> 00:40:11.960 There are times where it's not every time. 542 00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:20.600 I think everybody that's having marital problems, I think there's always a chance to work on 543 00:40:20.600 --> 00:40:26.440 it at some point and to bring reconciliation, it's always a chance. 544 00:40:26.440 --> 00:40:35.440 But sometimes that chance gets overwhelmed with other circumstances and will and personality, 545 00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:40.400 and unfortunately sometimes in divorce, it does become a rescue mission. 546 00:40:40.400 --> 00:40:41.640 And we talk about that. 547 00:40:41.640 --> 00:40:45.800 You know, Jackie's marriage, she feels like that was kind of like what her situation 548 00:40:45.800 --> 00:40:46.800 was. 549 00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:52.040 Like, even though the pastor went to prison, it's such a stalking statement. 550 00:40:52.040 --> 00:40:54.560 The pastor went to prison. 551 00:40:54.560 --> 00:40:57.920 That wasn't the thing that broke the marriage. 552 00:40:57.920 --> 00:41:03.080 It was just the impetus that gave a lot of people to go, "You know what? 553 00:41:03.080 --> 00:41:05.560 This isn't working out." 554 00:41:05.560 --> 00:41:12.640 And again, it wasn't really the reason why Jackie got divorced. 555 00:41:12.640 --> 00:41:21.480 It just was the circumstances that surrounded the revealing of like, "Hey, this is not good, 556 00:41:21.480 --> 00:41:26.320 it hasn't been good, and it's actually probably time for this to be over." 557 00:41:26.320 --> 00:41:29.160 And that's probably what happened to your situation. 558 00:41:29.160 --> 00:41:35.400 And was it you or your wife that basically asked for the divorce? 559 00:41:35.400 --> 00:41:37.880 Oh, she had been asking for it. 560 00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:40.840 I had no interest in the divorce. 561 00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:44.680 She had been asking for it for some time. 562 00:41:44.680 --> 00:41:47.880 Yeah, for about a year. 563 00:41:47.880 --> 00:41:51.080 There are some other traumatic things that happened before that. 564 00:41:51.080 --> 00:41:52.080 Right, right. 565 00:41:52.080 --> 00:41:53.080 Of course. 566 00:41:53.080 --> 00:41:54.080 And we're out of our control. 567 00:41:54.080 --> 00:41:55.080 Of course. 568 00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:56.080 Of course. 569 00:41:56.080 --> 00:42:04.760 But at some point, just for whatever reason, yeah, I don't... 570 00:42:04.760 --> 00:42:05.760 What does she do? 571 00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:07.240 Do you know her today? 572 00:42:07.240 --> 00:42:10.280 No, we don't have any contact anymore. 573 00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:14.560 Do you have any idea of what she is doing with her life? 574 00:42:14.560 --> 00:42:18.000 If you don't have it, okay. 575 00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:19.000 Yeah. 576 00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:24.960 And she got an apartment somewhere and that's all I know. 577 00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:25.960 Okay. 578 00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:26.960 Yeah. 579 00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:36.200 And again, it's like, you know, not that she would analyze it from like, "Hey, how's that 580 00:42:36.200 --> 00:42:40.200 person doing whether that was good or bad?" 581 00:42:40.200 --> 00:42:46.080 But it sounds like that she just couldn't come to the point where she could reconcile 582 00:42:46.080 --> 00:42:50.480 what it is that she needed to do in order to make it work. 583 00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:52.040 And that's unfortunate. 584 00:42:52.040 --> 00:42:55.120 And that hurt you, you know. 585 00:42:55.120 --> 00:42:57.880 That was against you. 586 00:42:57.880 --> 00:43:00.760 And that's really sad and I'm sorry for that. 587 00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:03.160 I'm sorry that happened to you. 588 00:43:03.160 --> 00:43:07.080 And it sounds like it was, you know, like I said, you know, it was heard that asked 589 00:43:07.080 --> 00:43:12.800 for it, you know. 590 00:43:12.800 --> 00:43:17.320 And that sounds like you tried everything you could do, you know? 591 00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:18.320 Yeah. 592 00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:22.320 I mean, we went to a couple of counseling at the church. 593 00:43:22.320 --> 00:43:24.760 I did individual therapy. 594 00:43:24.760 --> 00:43:32.200 I read several books, I, you know, did way more access service for, you know. 595 00:43:32.200 --> 00:43:33.800 Sometimes it's like that. 596 00:43:33.800 --> 00:43:34.800 Yeah. 597 00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:36.680 Sometimes it is like that. 598 00:43:36.680 --> 00:43:43.720 And some people have so much trauma that they cannot accept anything, you know, less than 599 00:43:43.720 --> 00:43:45.920 just, you know, it's not good enough. 600 00:43:45.920 --> 00:43:46.920 And that's really sad. 601 00:43:46.920 --> 00:43:48.080 I'm sorry. 602 00:43:48.080 --> 00:43:49.080 Yeah. 603 00:43:49.080 --> 00:43:51.360 And that's a lot of people feel that way. 604 00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:58.320 A lot of people, you know, and some people live that life and are continued to be married 605 00:43:58.320 --> 00:44:04.000 and just continue to be miserable and don't ever come to the point where there's like, 606 00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:06.960 you know, this is why are we doing this? 607 00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:12.880 You know, like why continue doing this to the point where it's just so damaging? 608 00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:18.120 And like I said, at that point, that's when divorce seems to be more like a rescue mission 609 00:44:18.120 --> 00:44:25.240 than and probably was as much for you as maybe even than what she thinks it is for her because 610 00:44:25.240 --> 00:44:29.040 she was the one asking for it. 611 00:44:29.040 --> 00:44:36.400 I know it doesn't feel right, but I'm sure you're at some point, do you feel at all relieved 612 00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:42.940 to not have to perform in such a way where it's never good enough? 613 00:44:42.940 --> 00:44:47.040 I mean, I guess, but it's just, I don't even think about it anymore. 614 00:44:47.040 --> 00:44:48.040 Yeah. 615 00:44:48.040 --> 00:44:49.040 Yeah. 616 00:44:49.040 --> 00:44:51.680 Totally, just emotionally disconnected from what happened. 617 00:44:51.680 --> 00:44:55.120 It was about a year ago at this point. 618 00:44:55.120 --> 00:44:56.120 Yeah. 619 00:44:56.120 --> 00:44:57.120 Yeah. 620 00:44:57.120 --> 00:45:00.000 I mean, that's can be draining, trying to try constantly. 621 00:45:03.360 --> 00:45:06.000 I mean, that's not a relationship, you know, 622 00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:12.520 a relationship is reciprocal, meaning that it goes back and forth, you know, 623 00:45:12.520 --> 00:45:17.560 there's a sharing of like not only just the responsibilities, but there's the 624 00:45:17.560 --> 00:45:23.080 sharing of, you know, what it is that we're here to do for each other, you know, 625 00:45:23.080 --> 00:45:27.080 and every marriage, even the best ones get imbalanced, you know, 626 00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:32.600 I could chalk up all the things that I do for Jackie and we could make a 627 00:45:32.600 --> 00:45:36.320 list of those things and I'm sure they would be imbalanced one way or another, 628 00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:42.800 you know, but we make, we, we make up for it in different ways. 629 00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:48.240 Maybe it's not doing a thing, but maybe there's just more that brings the table. 630 00:45:48.240 --> 00:45:52.160 And even if we stacked up everything, we're like, okay, well, 631 00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:55.600 you bring the table and then what I bring the table, you know, is it balanced? 632 00:45:55.600 --> 00:46:00.600 It's probably not balanced and it probably never will be balanced, 633 00:46:00.600 --> 00:46:05.720 but it's in relationship that you work that out, you know, 634 00:46:05.720 --> 00:46:09.080 it doesn't ever have to be balanced. 635 00:46:09.080 --> 00:46:10.520 That's not really the point. 636 00:46:10.520 --> 00:46:12.120 The point is to have a relationship. 637 00:46:12.120 --> 00:46:18.560 The point is to have respect and, and value and honor and communication and, 638 00:46:18.560 --> 00:46:24.840 you know, enjoy it rather than being troubled and enslaved to it. 639 00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:31.080 You know, so man, I'm sorry that that happened to you. 640 00:46:31.080 --> 00:46:36.160 I really am, but I feel like you said you're, you're moving on. 641 00:46:36.160 --> 00:46:39.120 I think there's opportunity for you for sure. 642 00:46:39.120 --> 00:46:43.600 There's a brand new horizon for you, you know, and that's the way you should look 643 00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:48.120 at it. Like, look, there's an opportunity to meet somebody great out there. 644 00:46:48.120 --> 00:46:52.960 You know, and maybe it just takes a few mechanics to get to it. 645 00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:59.200 But I'm sure that if you don't quit, I know for sure that you're going to find 646 00:46:59.200 --> 00:47:01.400 somebody that you're going to be able to connect with. 647 00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:04.600 I have that strong faith. 648 00:47:04.600 --> 00:47:06.800 We have that happen all the time. 649 00:47:06.800 --> 00:47:07.880 I mean, that's the thing. 650 00:47:07.880 --> 00:47:13.040 If it never happened in last year's single, it would be hard to say that, 651 00:47:13.040 --> 00:47:18.520 that there's hope, you know, but since there's people finding people all the 652 00:47:18.520 --> 00:47:22.400 time every week, we have people finding each other. 653 00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:24.120 And guess what? 654 00:47:24.120 --> 00:47:26.120 It's a man and a woman. 655 00:47:26.120 --> 00:47:29.720 It's not a bunch of women finding women. 656 00:47:29.720 --> 00:47:31.400 I can tell you that. 657 00:47:31.400 --> 00:47:34.000 And I'm not trying to be perverse. 658 00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:38.360 What I'm saying is, is that each one of those situations is a man and a woman 659 00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:45.680 who have found each other somehow, you know, and some of the stories make it sound 660 00:47:45.680 --> 00:47:47.800 like, Oh, yeah, well, that was easy, whatever. 661 00:47:47.800 --> 00:47:52.960 But I don't think it's always like that. 662 00:47:52.960 --> 00:47:59.920 You know, so I have a lot of hope for you, Blake. 663 00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:05.160 Thank you. 664 00:48:05.160 --> 00:48:05.960 I appreciate that. 665 00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:06.600 Yeah. 666 00:48:06.600 --> 00:48:06.960 Yeah. 667 00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:09.800 Any other questions, guys? 668 00:48:09.800 --> 00:48:19.840 Okay, I'm going to close out here. 669 00:48:19.840 --> 00:48:21.440 So at 752. 670 00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:27.000 So if you have anything that you need questions answered as far as like to 671 00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:31.640 specific season, obviously you can always reach out to us at admin@jackadorma.com. 672 00:48:31.640 --> 00:48:33.760 But let me just pray out. 673 00:48:33.760 --> 00:48:34.440 Probably got it. 674 00:48:34.440 --> 00:48:39.440 Thank you right now, Lord, for Christopher and Matthew, Tim, Jeff and Blake. 675 00:48:39.440 --> 00:48:40.720 Can I just bless them? 676 00:48:40.720 --> 00:48:44.840 I speak life over them, speak health, wealth, and prosperity over them. 677 00:48:44.840 --> 00:48:48.640 I speak healing over them, healing in their minds, healing in their hearts. 678 00:48:48.640 --> 00:48:51.760 Lord, I just thank you right now that you're good. 679 00:48:51.760 --> 00:48:54.960 I contend for your goodness. 680 00:48:54.960 --> 00:49:01.840 You're faithful, you're just, you're good, your heart is towards us. 681 00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:07.800 You see us, you know us, Father God, you have chosen to reveal yourself to us. 682 00:49:08.040 --> 00:49:15.200 And we just ask right now, Lord, that we would have a greater, um, a greater 683 00:49:15.200 --> 00:49:20.280 knowledge of you, a greater understanding of you and how you're working in our life, 684 00:49:20.280 --> 00:49:24.400 not just how you work and how your kingdom works, but how you are actually 685 00:49:24.400 --> 00:49:32.240 considering us and considering us in our situation and how you care enough to 686 00:49:32.240 --> 00:49:33.000 work in our lives. 687 00:49:33.000 --> 00:49:33.960 Show us that. 688 00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:39.840 We ask right now, Lord, that you would reveal to us and we invite you in Holy 689 00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:46.040 Spirit to illuminate all the things that are coming together on our behalf, Lord, 690 00:49:46.040 --> 00:49:52.480 so that we can step into the, the greater value and the greater identity of who 691 00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:54.040 we really are in you. 692 00:49:54.040 --> 00:49:56.160 In Jesus name, we pray. 693 00:49:56.160 --> 00:49:56.720 Amen. 694 00:49:56.720 --> 00:49:57.600 Amen. 695 00:49:57.600 --> 00:50:07.600 [BLANK_AUDIO] 696 00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:16.320 See you later. Thanks for coming, Jeff. Good to see you. Thank you.