WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.080
Hey everybody let me tag y'all to make sure oh there we go make sure that y'all

2
00:00:11.080 --> 00:00:18.120
know I'm on in case because I also remember that and it's sometimes

3
00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:23.240
difficult apparently for the lives to show up like I noticed hey Steph like I

4
00:00:23.240 --> 00:00:27.080
notice and sometimes I have to like refresh the page if a live is supposed

5
00:00:27.080 --> 00:00:32.159
to come on because otherwise you know I mean otherwise I miss the start of the

6
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:37.160
live because the Facebook isn't refreshing that quickly so um so I like

7
00:00:37.160 --> 00:00:40.800
to tag y'all to make sure that y'all can find it quickly and easily I hope y'all

8
00:00:40.800 --> 00:00:52.080
are doing good this is the last um save me from whatever I can do stuff

9
00:00:52.080 --> 00:00:57.200
I've never heard of such a thing that is so funny we used to play Texas

10
00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:06.000
Techopoly which is Monopoly that uses the University of Texas Tech that is in

11
00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:11.360
the from my hometown and then there were different places on campus and different

12
00:01:11.360 --> 00:01:16.560
places around around the city of Lubbock and so we that's what I grew up playing

13
00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:22.840
I did not grow up playing Monopoly as much as I grew up playing Texas

14
00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:29.320
Techopoly so I'm more familiar with that board even regular Monopoly board oh

15
00:01:29.320 --> 00:01:32.800
yeah and the little tokens that you would move were little bitty books

16
00:01:32.800 --> 00:01:38.240
little bitty wooden books this is like from the 80s you know it's old it's one

17
00:01:38.240 --> 00:01:42.680
of my parents went to went to college there but anyway so I don't know what a

18
00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:49.440
horseopoly is but I'm assuming it's the same general idea yes yeah that would

19
00:01:49.440 --> 00:01:56.360
have been a long game um but anyway so I have been really looking forward to

20
00:01:56.360 --> 00:02:06.040
tonight it is for the subject matter hey Carrie so it is the last one as I said

21
00:02:06.040 --> 00:02:12.080
yesterday for the for the April intensive but of course we're going to

22
00:02:12.080 --> 00:02:15.920
continue to have new material coming out all the time in the new one we're

23
00:02:15.920 --> 00:02:19.760
just closing this one out but the reason I'm talking about this one is I'm trying

24
00:02:19.760 --> 00:02:26.760
to do this subject in this group is I wanted to make sure that that I had

25
00:02:26.760 --> 00:02:32.920
covered that the big I wanted to finish out all of the topics for especially you

26
00:02:32.920 --> 00:02:37.640
know at the Intel and all of these business related topics that

27
00:02:37.640 --> 00:02:42.360
specifically you know for the April intensive and then just continue to

28
00:02:42.360 --> 00:02:47.800
build from here in the in the new group so all of this this type of stuff these

29
00:02:47.800 --> 00:02:51.840
are going to be in the in the teachings and then I'm going to come on live and

30
00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:55.800
anyway there's always new stuff for instance there's stuff that I have

31
00:02:55.800 --> 00:03:00.960
talked to to each of y'all about individually based off of your questions

32
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:08.120
that I haven't mentioned in the group so they're all unique I mean that's why

33
00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:12.120
y'all ask those questions is is sometimes yes it's how to apply

34
00:03:12.120 --> 00:03:16.520
something that I talked about in the live but a lot of times when you ask me

35
00:03:16.520 --> 00:03:23.000
to expound on something it ends up being you know obviously new information as

36
00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:27.160
opposed to just reiterating the same information in a different way there is

37
00:03:27.160 --> 00:03:32.120
some of that and then to help y'all be able to understand how to actually

38
00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:39.720
practically apply the the ideas that I talked about in in the lives but also

39
00:03:39.720 --> 00:03:44.320
there are questions that y'all ask that have nothing essentially whatsoever to

40
00:03:44.320 --> 00:03:49.760
do with the lives but you've taken the context of it which is good you've taken

41
00:03:49.760 --> 00:03:53.480
the context of it and tried to understand so how does this apply in a

42
00:03:53.480 --> 00:03:58.640
larger picture how does the fly in another area of life and so I realized

43
00:03:58.640 --> 00:04:02.640
that I've answered that y'all have asked very unique questions each of you in

44
00:04:02.640 --> 00:04:06.080
your private sessions and I realized well the rest of y'all have really

45
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:09.320
benefit from hearing some of this information because maybe it's a

46
00:04:09.320 --> 00:04:15.700
question that you never even thought to ask so I have it in mind to add all of

47
00:04:15.700 --> 00:04:21.720
those to to to go back through my private sessions with y'all and and pull

48
00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:28.680
out those things and actually do do either lives or pre-recorded teachings

49
00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:36.920
on them so that the rest of y'all could hear those same answers so because this

50
00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:40.800
stuff is stuff you know that a lot of this questions that y'all ask is stuff

51
00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:44.400
that I've talked to other clients about and went on one because I've had those

52
00:04:44.400 --> 00:04:49.920
clients you know for months and they there was just only so much that I could

53
00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:57.000
pack into a month intensive so I'm looking forward to having a community

54
00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:02.040
that's a bit more established that can that I can that we can just

55
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.760
grow on and you know and as opposed to just

56
00:05:03.760 --> 00:05:07.680
repeating the same information every month and then having I can just have

57
00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:11.680
all that pre-recorded and then I can continue to I can have

58
00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:16.400
the time to invest into into new stuff and in broadening

59
00:05:16.400 --> 00:05:20.160
our understanding you know increasing the measure

60
00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:24.560
of our understanding in this area and increasing the measure in which we can

61
00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:28.000
extend interest in various areas of our lives

62
00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:32.800
not just moving from business beyond into finances and beyond into

63
00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.760
relationships but actually just expanding it even

64
00:05:35.760 --> 00:05:38.800
within business because what it is that we're talking

65
00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:43.520
about is just the foundation of how to operate and rest in business

66
00:05:43.520 --> 00:05:45.600
there's there's so much more that we could talk

67
00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:48.160
about and the lord is continuing to expand

68
00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:52.960
my territory in it as well so I can vouch for the fact

69
00:05:52.960 --> 00:05:56.640
there's so much it is all good it's all more freedom

70
00:05:56.640 --> 00:06:02.240
greater understanding so transparent hi yes yes exactly I think it's exciting

71
00:06:02.240 --> 00:06:05.120
personally I enjoy watching the lord

72
00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:09.120
extending my boundaries and expanding them for instance he's currently doing

73
00:06:09.120 --> 00:06:15.200
that in the way that in the fact that I have been extremely busy today

74
00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:19.040
so by the way Amy when you jump on I promise

75
00:06:19.040 --> 00:06:22.560
I'm not ignoring you I will get to your message as soon as I can

76
00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:28.880
sometime tonight but I've had I've had visits with clients and

77
00:06:28.880 --> 00:06:32.960
and prospective clients today a new client jumped on

78
00:06:32.960 --> 00:06:36.880
yeah a new client jumped on board for the intensive today

79
00:06:36.880 --> 00:06:40.160
that I talked to the other day so she'll be in

80
00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:44.240
either tonight she'll join be joining the group either tonight or sometime

81
00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:49.200
tomorrow and anyway so just just a lot and then

82
00:06:49.200 --> 00:06:51.840
all kinds of other people reaching out to me and I'm trying to

83
00:06:51.840 --> 00:06:57.600
I have five five teachings pre-recorded that I'm

84
00:06:57.600 --> 00:07:01.680
now trying to upload but when I tried to upload them it

85
00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:06.480
Facebook's told me into the new group five of them that I've done it said that

86
00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:11.360
they're about like between 20 and 25 yeah about

87
00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:15.040
20 I think the smallest is shortest one is like 21 minutes or something like

88
00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:17.920
that all the way up to like around 30 minutes

89
00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:21.680
each a piece and so I decided to take the lives

90
00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:25.120
you know teachings which ended up being like an hour sometimes an hour and a

91
00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:27.360
half and I'm trying to actually make them

92
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:31.040
into more bite-sized chunks so anyway I have five done already

93
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:36.400
and that I had to I had to record last night in the middle of a storm

94
00:07:36.400 --> 00:07:40.720
which felled one of my neighbor's trees a huge tree

95
00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:45.040
just completely snapped thank goodness didn't

96
00:07:45.520 --> 00:07:50.800
didn't land on a house theirs or mine but anyway so I was recording all that

97
00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:53.600
in the middle of I was recording all that in the middle

98
00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:57.520
of the storm last night and I when I went to when I'm now

99
00:07:57.520 --> 00:08:01.920
trying to upload all of those teachings into the

100
00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:05.440
into the the program into the new unit with the social

101
00:08:05.440 --> 00:08:11.920
learning social learning format that we've created the lifestyle

102
00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:14.960
community in it's saying that the files are too

103
00:08:14.960 --> 00:08:19.120
large so what I'm having to do is I'm having to upload them into YouTube

104
00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:22.320
so apparently I'm going to have a YouTube channel which I I had a YouTube

105
00:08:22.320 --> 00:08:24.400
channel a long time ago but you know like

106
00:08:24.400 --> 00:08:27.680
sometime I don't know like 10 months ago or whatever

107
00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:32.480
but um or eight eight ten months ago but I haven't had one

108
00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:35.919
now that I've been talking about um how to operate

109
00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:40.799
from um offer how to work from rest and how to rest from work

110
00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:46.880
so I'm now I just about an hour ago I created a YouTube channel and now I'm

111
00:08:46.880 --> 00:08:50.240
I'm having to upload all of these videos so

112
00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:53.760
it's taking a while but um so that's what I'm doing

113
00:08:53.760 --> 00:08:58.560
anyway I'm very busy hey Holly so the Lord is teaching me

114
00:08:58.560 --> 00:09:04.000
you know again okay Ashley now now um you know how do you how do you shift

115
00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:07.200
you know in the middle of this type of a transition

116
00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:11.840
not not shift how to remember to always operate and rest even in this type of a

117
00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:14.560
transition where there's all kinds of things going on

118
00:09:14.560 --> 00:09:18.000
and I've noticed there's such a difference in me

119
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:24.400
now than there was when I used to operate in this type of pace and

120
00:09:24.400 --> 00:09:27.600
actually a lot faster than this type of pace I'm aware this pace is

121
00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:31.520
nothing compared to what I used to do

122
00:09:32.160 --> 00:09:35.760
yeah uh and and I'm noticing a difference

123
00:09:35.760 --> 00:09:38.960
in me when I operate in it I enjoy it it's fun

124
00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:43.200
because I'm not attached to the outcome it's all gonna be fun

125
00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:46.960
right it's just operating completely from from place to rest

126
00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:50.240
so anyway just thought I'd update y'all because I knew that y'all were going to

127
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:52.720
be seeing um all of the teachings come through now

128
00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:56.320
we're going to be wondering well um you know is there going to be new

129
00:09:56.320 --> 00:09:59.760
stuff so yes there will be and all of the

130
00:09:59.760 --> 00:10:02.800
teachings

131
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.840
that you've already heard. When I'm reteaching them, I'm just, you know,

132
00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:06.960
you always kind of teach them in a bit of a different way and you add new

133
00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:13.440
material in. So, to me, I'm watching it and I'm going, wow, those are like extremely

134
00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:18.000
new and extremely different from the original teachings. They teach the same

135
00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:21.780
thing, only I'm expounding on them and I'm revealing a lot of times more

136
00:10:21.780 --> 00:10:25.800
scripture and just giving different examples and whatever. So,

137
00:10:25.800 --> 00:10:30.440
hopefully people enjoy them and they'll be helpful. So, talking about spiritual

138
00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:35.240
leadership in business relationships. Like I've been saying, this is one of my

139
00:10:35.240 --> 00:10:43.720
favorites, actually. Probably because I've had to... it's just dear to my heart. I've

140
00:10:43.720 --> 00:10:49.800
had to live this thing out in very extreme situations, multiple extreme

141
00:10:49.800 --> 00:10:56.120
situations. Honestly, some of the most extreme situations that I have

142
00:10:56.120 --> 00:11:03.320
run into in business have revolved around the need to have to act in

143
00:11:03.320 --> 00:11:10.080
spiritual leadership in whatever situation that I found myself in.

144
00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:18.760
The Lord began to teach me this right out of college. I think fall of

145
00:11:18.760 --> 00:11:26.480
2006 through spring of 2007. He used the fact that I was a

146
00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:35.720
teacher to a little sixth grader to begin to teach me how to call

147
00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:46.000
someone out for who they truly were in the Lord and inspire them, not in

148
00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:50.760
the traditional way of inspiring them, but still inspire them and call them

149
00:11:50.760 --> 00:11:55.480
call them out for who they were in the Lord and call them up, call them to rise

150
00:11:55.480 --> 00:11:59.800
up according to my expectation. In other words, according to who it is that they

151
00:11:59.800 --> 00:12:04.160
were as opposed to pushing them up from the bottom saying, oh no, you're better

152
00:12:04.160 --> 00:12:08.000
than that and you can do this and I'm here to support you and all of that.

153
00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:13.360
That's actually a lot of work and people actually hear the opposite message from

154
00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:17.880
the message that we intend them to hear. We intend them to hear, hey you can be

155
00:12:17.880 --> 00:12:23.640
like this, but what they hear is I'm not good enough. So the Lord taught me that

156
00:12:23.640 --> 00:12:29.360
about 14 years ago and then he showed me how to incorporate that into business

157
00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:33.680
and into personal relationships as well. I went through a very extreme

158
00:12:33.680 --> 00:12:37.560
situation that we'll see if I even have the opportunity to talk about tonight

159
00:12:37.560 --> 00:12:46.800
on the live where I was being verbally abused by a peer in front of my

160
00:12:46.800 --> 00:12:53.720
subordinates all day every day for months and how the Lord had to show me

161
00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:57.160
how to handle that situation because I'd never been in a situation like that. I'd

162
00:12:57.160 --> 00:13:02.200
never been taught to like that. Even my siblings, you know siblings can be hard

163
00:13:02.200 --> 00:13:05.720
with each other, right? Even my siblings and I had never talked to each other

164
00:13:05.720 --> 00:13:09.400
like that. I did not know what to do in that type of situation. Here I was 30

165
00:13:09.400 --> 00:13:13.080
something years old having to interact with it and the Lord just had to teach

166
00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:19.840
me in the moment. I didn't have a mentor to explain to me, for me to be able to

167
00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:23.040
talk to and say hey this is the situation that I'm going through. I

168
00:13:23.040 --> 00:13:27.000
don't know what to do. Can you give me any advice? I really had to rely on the

169
00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:34.200
Spirit of the Lord. So he began to flesh out, expand my territory in which I

170
00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:38.880
could operate in according to the spiritual power and authority of the

171
00:13:38.880 --> 00:13:44.440
position that I held in Christ and be able to provide a spiritual leadership

172
00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:49.720
for the person who was abusing me. To hold space for someone who was abusing

173
00:13:49.720 --> 00:13:54.680
me and then obviously as an extension to hold space for my subordinates who were

174
00:13:54.680 --> 00:14:02.520
looking to me for leadership and into how to support them so that they could

175
00:14:02.680 --> 00:14:07.440
be who they could be with the project that they were working on

176
00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:11.080
needed to be. Then of course personal relationships as well. So I've done this

177
00:14:11.080 --> 00:14:15.000
with children not just that one child. I've done it with other that I taught.

178
00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:21.240
I've done it with other children and saw remarkable results where people who had

179
00:14:21.240 --> 00:14:25.800
known these children for years were just shocked at the results. Then the

180
00:14:25.800 --> 00:14:31.600
same thing with the situations that I found myself in in a corporate

181
00:14:31.640 --> 00:14:36.080
environment. So those are just the personal ways through which the Lord had

182
00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:43.160
me actually walk this thing out. That's probably why it's one of the

183
00:14:43.160 --> 00:14:47.600
most dear things to my heart because it was in operating in spiritual leadership

184
00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:53.040
whether it be with children or with personal situations or in business that

185
00:14:53.040 --> 00:15:01.680
the Lord showed me redemption of a situation that was

186
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:07.000
Nothing short of supernatural. I mean no one could believe it or could understand

187
00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:13.040
it, could understand that change and except those that were around me while

188
00:15:13.040 --> 00:15:18.480
it was happening and watching the transformation that knew that it was

189
00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:23.280
something in me that was causing the transformation. They didn't know it was

190
00:15:23.280 --> 00:15:26.940
the presence of God. They didn't know it was the Spirit of God that when people

191
00:15:26.940 --> 00:15:32.940
come into the presence of that it transforms the situation but they did

192
00:15:32.940 --> 00:15:37.660
they did watch it and they knew that it had to do with with how I was handling

193
00:15:37.660 --> 00:15:41.900
it and they've never seen anybody handle a situation like that before. I hadn't

194
00:15:41.900 --> 00:15:48.060
either. So I'm just going okay Lord I'm walking to work what do I do

195
00:15:48.060 --> 00:15:54.420
today? Somebody just like got right in my face and said that I have to respond in

196
00:15:54.420 --> 00:15:59.940
this moment. What do I do? So anyway this is very dear to my heart because I have

197
00:15:59.940 --> 00:16:08.040
seen the love of the Lord in a way that is so very precious and tender and so

198
00:16:08.040 --> 00:16:13.580
much more one of the most impactful ways that I've actually watched the love of

199
00:16:13.580 --> 00:16:20.340
God transform other people is through spiritual leadership. So I wanted to talk

200
00:16:20.340 --> 00:16:25.500
about the fact that first of all the foundation of all of this and that is to

201
00:16:25.500 --> 00:16:29.460
remember that we should always view whether we're talking about clients

202
00:16:29.460 --> 00:16:32.940
whether we're talking about our customers whether we're talking about our

203
00:16:32.940 --> 00:16:36.660
team members. So for those of you in the MLMs whether you're talking about your

204
00:16:36.660 --> 00:16:40.980
upline or your downline whichever you're talking about people who are buying your

205
00:16:40.980 --> 00:16:47.340
products or services you're you know for for Steph you know people that she

206
00:16:47.380 --> 00:16:52.340
interacts with related to her portfolio again whether they be customers or they

207
00:16:52.340 --> 00:16:59.420
be you know others that she's working with business partners or you know

208
00:16:59.420 --> 00:17:03.060
relationships with your spouses or your children or your parents or whatever

209
00:17:03.060 --> 00:17:07.579
regardless of the type of relationship you handle it the same way and that is

210
00:17:07.579 --> 00:17:12.099
that and it all starts with how we actually view the person. So just like we

211
00:17:12.099 --> 00:17:16.260
were talking about a couple of days ago in attracting clients the very first

212
00:17:16.260 --> 00:17:22.020
thing that we have to do is we just focus completely is is we don't work on

213
00:17:22.020 --> 00:17:28.940
trying to fix somebody else we be who we need to be we understand our identity in

214
00:17:28.940 --> 00:17:34.420
Christ and we we settle into that understanding and we solidify ourselves

215
00:17:34.420 --> 00:17:40.020
and anchor ourselves in and in acknowledging that and in believing that

216
00:17:40.020 --> 00:17:44.460
and it's from that position that we are then equipped and prepared to do

217
00:17:44.460 --> 00:17:49.460
whatever it is that needs to be done to give to the situation or the person in

218
00:17:49.460 --> 00:17:55.500
front of us literally whatever it is that they are needing if God has has

219
00:17:55.500 --> 00:18:01.580
has determined that his spirit through us in that moment will provide for that

220
00:18:01.580 --> 00:18:06.580
need for them. So there will be nothing nothing hindered so you don't have to

221
00:18:06.580 --> 00:18:10.620
walk away from any situation when you're in that when you're in that

222
00:18:10.620 --> 00:18:15.220
understanding when you're centered in that lack of a better phrase you don't

223
00:18:15.220 --> 00:18:20.220
never you would never have to walk away from a situation thinking oh well I

224
00:18:20.220 --> 00:18:23.420
don't think that I handled that correctly or I bet you I could have done

225
00:18:23.420 --> 00:18:27.380
more or I could have done something different or in any way feeling

226
00:18:27.380 --> 00:18:32.980
responsible for the outcome because all you do is you just simply present

227
00:18:32.980 --> 00:18:39.340
yourself just as you are just as the Lord made you and then and then creation

228
00:18:39.340 --> 00:18:43.620
including another human soul will choose how it is that they want to

229
00:18:43.620 --> 00:18:49.060
respond to that but it doesn't leave you responsible for their decision it

230
00:18:49.060 --> 00:18:53.500
doesn't leave you responsible for their reaction and for their response because

231
00:18:53.500 --> 00:19:02.220
you simply give who it is that you are. Christ for instance is the perfect

232
00:19:02.220 --> 00:19:06.820
example of this and I was talking to somebody about this today and that is

233
00:19:06.820 --> 00:19:17.020
the fact that he sorry I keep having some notifications he was always being

234
00:19:17.020 --> 00:19:22.300
pressured by some group or another to be something that he wasn't to be

235
00:19:22.300 --> 00:19:28.340
something different than he was. I mean we're talking about the Pharisees we're

236
00:19:28.340 --> 00:19:32.740
talking about political activists of the area who was very at the time who were

237
00:19:32.740 --> 00:19:39.420
very excited and thought that that Jesus was the Messiah and that he was

238
00:19:39.420 --> 00:19:49.380
going to come and and you know rise up an army rise up a movement and push out

239
00:19:49.380 --> 00:19:53.580
the Romans. I mean that's what they were always looking for the Messiah to do is

240
00:19:53.580 --> 00:19:58.540
to save them in that way. Very interestingly, total side note, that's

241
00:19:58.540 --> 00:20:01.700
what we tend to do.

242
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.240
with the Lord as well. We tend to think, oh my goodness, well when he comes back,

243
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:10.640
you know, then he's going to save us from all of this oppression.

244
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:14.080
Well, do we see the similarity between the way that the Jews were looking

245
00:20:14.080 --> 00:20:18.320
forward to the Messiah's return versus

246
00:20:18.320 --> 00:20:21.360
compared with how we are viewing the rapture?

247
00:20:21.360 --> 00:20:24.560
That God is going to save us from all of this?

248
00:20:24.560 --> 00:20:28.400
And Jesus just does the same thing now that he did to the Jews back then. He's

249
00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:33.760
like, that is not why I'm come. He said the point is not the out and

250
00:20:33.760 --> 00:20:39.600
he said your threat is not any outward oppression. He said it's

251
00:20:39.600 --> 00:20:43.920
an internal oppression that you need to be

252
00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:49.360
freed from. The outside is not a threat.

253
00:20:49.360 --> 00:20:52.560
It's the internal that's the threat. So that's just

254
00:20:52.560 --> 00:20:56.560
total side note there. But so anyway, whether it be the political activists of

255
00:20:56.560 --> 00:21:02.880
the time or his own disciples,

256
00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:06.720
they were always wanting him to be something

257
00:21:06.720 --> 00:21:10.480
different than he was. And they were disappointed. In fact, it

258
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:13.600
got to the point where sometimes Jesus would say something and he'd say,

259
00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:17.200
you know, he'd talk about something specific

260
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:21.040
and it says that some of the disciples, he said some people aren't going to be

261
00:21:21.040 --> 00:21:24.400
able to receive this. Sure enough, some of his disciples

262
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:27.360
couldn't receive it and it says that they left.

263
00:21:27.360 --> 00:21:31.440
I don't remember if it mentions how many of his disciples left at the

264
00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:35.520
time, but a lot of his disciples left him.

265
00:21:35.520 --> 00:21:39.360
People, even those who would follow him, his disciples,

266
00:21:39.360 --> 00:21:43.040
not people who were just kind of, you know, walking,

267
00:21:43.040 --> 00:21:47.200
just kind of like following him around and just listening to a sermon

268
00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:53.120
every now and then or a big fan of his. Disciples of his actually couldn't

269
00:21:53.120 --> 00:21:56.240
handle some of the things that he was saying and the bible says

270
00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.920
that after he said certain things, they left.

271
00:21:59.920 --> 00:22:04.880
Like many of them left. And yet Jesus continued to present

272
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:08.480
himself as he truly was, as the Lord made him, as the Lord

273
00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:13.120
intended him to be, as the Lord desired, okay Jesus, my spirit

274
00:22:13.120 --> 00:22:17.200
united with your spirit on the earth. This is what it is that the

275
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:22.000
earth needs. I have made you what it is that the earth needs. I have

276
00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:25.360
made you according to what it is that your

277
00:22:25.360 --> 00:22:31.280
clients need, your business needs, your spouse needs, your children need.

278
00:22:31.280 --> 00:22:34.800
So that's one of the reasons why self-care

279
00:22:34.800 --> 00:22:38.400
or things, anything related to self-care, whether you're talking about,

280
00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:41.600
and we're talking mostly about like mental, emotional, spiritual,

281
00:22:41.600 --> 00:22:45.200
that kind of thing, that self-care is extremely important. Physical

282
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:50.560
as well obviously, but it's because we can't fully give

283
00:22:50.560 --> 00:22:56.800
what others around us need unless we are giving them ourselves. And if

284
00:22:56.800 --> 00:23:01.840
we're sacrificing ourselves thinking that, well we don't have time

285
00:23:01.840 --> 00:23:05.680
for ourselves because we have to be something that somebody else needs,

286
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:11.600
that is being, that is being a slave to someone else and actually not

287
00:23:11.600 --> 00:23:14.800
giving that person what it is that they need. Because if

288
00:23:14.800 --> 00:23:18.480
they needed something different than who you were,

289
00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:21.920
then like who you were in your spirit, God would have given them someone else,

290
00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:25.280
but he gave them you. And so you have to make sure that

291
00:23:25.280 --> 00:23:30.320
you're always giving them you. You cannot sacrifice you. You cannot

292
00:23:30.320 --> 00:23:34.240
sacrifice that, lack of a better phrase, self-care.

293
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:37.920
Spending that time with the Lord, making sure that you're getting plenty of rest,

294
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:42.640
etc. That makes the best you, which makes you the most effective in

295
00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.680
the time, effort, energy, and decisions that you're

296
00:23:45.680 --> 00:23:50.240
able to invest in someone else. That you're able,

297
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:55.280
it enables you to see your children, your spouse, your parents,

298
00:23:55.280 --> 00:23:58.400
your business partners, your clients, your

299
00:23:58.400 --> 00:24:01.440
customers. It helps you be able to see them in the

300
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:07.360
spirit in the most truest sense. If you know who you are and if you are

301
00:24:07.360 --> 00:24:12.800
taking care of, because you being the fullest version of you,

302
00:24:12.800 --> 00:24:17.200
united with the Lord, constant communion and relationship with him

303
00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:24.080
is what they need. And Jesus knew that, which is why he refused to

304
00:24:24.080 --> 00:24:32.240
to be swayed by what everyone else thought that they needed from him,

305
00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:36.000
wanted him to change to be for them. You say, no,

306
00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:39.280
you don't understand. That's actually not what you need.

307
00:24:39.280 --> 00:24:44.560
Me being who God created me to be, God created me to be like that because

308
00:24:44.560 --> 00:24:50.400
that is who you need. And then God will, God will take care of

309
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:55.600
the consequences. God will take care of them. So we don't have to think that

310
00:24:55.600 --> 00:24:58.560
all of their, that their blood is on our hands.

311
00:24:58.560 --> 00:25:01.920
It's a very extreme expression.

312
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.880
We don't have to think that their reactions and that their responses to us

313
00:25:04.880 --> 00:25:11.040
is somehow our problem and that God is holding us accountable for it. God just

314
00:25:11.040 --> 00:25:16.680
wants us to rest in Him, to be who He designed us to be, to operate out of that

315
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:22.800
out of the love of the Father's heart and then and provide someone else the

316
00:25:22.800 --> 00:25:29.280
Spirit of God that gives them an opportunity to respond to it. Because if

317
00:25:29.280 --> 00:25:34.200
we're blocking that and we're and we're thinking and just choosing instead to

318
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:38.240
operate out of the soul and give them something instead of just allowing the

319
00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:43.440
Spirit to flow through us, we're not giving them life. We're giving them death.

320
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:48.360
If we're operating out of the soul and think, oh they need this, okay let me give

321
00:25:48.360 --> 00:25:51.560
them this. That's operating out of the soul and it's giving them nothing that

322
00:25:51.560 --> 00:25:55.840
will result in life. It'll only give them give them death but if we something that

323
00:25:55.840 --> 00:25:59.600
will result in death but you know something that will burn is wood, hay or

324
00:25:59.600 --> 00:26:04.320
stubble. But if we leave ourselves open and allow the Spirit to flow

325
00:26:04.320 --> 00:26:08.680
through us, even if they reject it, remember God says when they reject you

326
00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:14.160
remember they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting me. Why? It's His Spirit

327
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:18.520
that needs to be flowing out and through. Not to feel selfish about self-care.

328
00:26:18.520 --> 00:26:22.400
Think of it as a river. You need to find the balance in the center as you flow

329
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:26.200
along. Yes, too close to one bank or the other can be detrimental. One bank is

330
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:30.320
selfishness, the other is the opposite. Yes, and it's pouring from an empty cup. Yes,

331
00:26:30.320 --> 00:26:36.720
yes, exactly. It's very important because the way that the Lord created us is the

332
00:26:36.720 --> 00:26:43.280
is the very thing that He, the God of the universe, says that they need and we

333
00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:48.920
can't make a better judgment call about that than He can. We can't, our children

334
00:26:48.920 --> 00:26:56.320
can't, our parents can't, our business can't. Nothing can make a demand of us

335
00:26:56.320 --> 00:27:04.880
that is that calls and declares a judgment that is greater than what God

336
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:14.080
has declared is the truth. So now it's still recording. Hopefully y'all

337
00:27:14.080 --> 00:27:17.440
can hear me. When you let your spirit flow out of you and people criticize you

338
00:27:17.440 --> 00:27:26.040
in your opinions, I know, I know. So which is why we need to be

339
00:27:26.040 --> 00:27:32.080
very solid that our identity is in Christ. It sounds like a cliche, we've

340
00:27:32.080 --> 00:27:35.880
heard it our whole lives, but think about what we've learned about our identity

341
00:27:35.880 --> 00:27:39.880
and how much we're loved by the Lord. And if we ever struggle with this, we go back

342
00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:46.880
to that and we ask the Lord to be our support in that. I'm fully aware

343
00:27:46.880 --> 00:27:54.120
of what it is like to live out of rejection. Fully aware, which I will not

344
00:27:54.120 --> 00:27:57.760
go into at the moment, but it's actually very, very, very extreme. I've spent the

345
00:27:57.760 --> 00:28:03.160
majority of my life actually alone. The majority of it, not the minority, the

346
00:28:03.160 --> 00:28:10.080
majority. So I'm very well aware of that and it is extremely hard. It is extremely

347
00:28:10.080 --> 00:28:16.680
difficult and we can just remember also as well and by remember I don't

348
00:28:16.680 --> 00:28:25.920
mean logically, but we need to, we need to in those times, any time that we feel

349
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:30.240
that kind of resistance, that's what we need to release. It shouldn't be like

350
00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:36.560
this. They shouldn't be rejecting me. I, you know, I don't deserve this or maybe I

351
00:28:36.560 --> 00:28:40.280
do deserve this is what we're thinking. Maybe I do deserve that. All of that is

352
00:28:40.280 --> 00:28:44.040
resistance and we have got to release that. And then if we do, when we release

353
00:28:44.040 --> 00:28:47.680
that, it provides us with the opportunity to be able to receive the

354
00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:51.800
actual truth from the Lord so that we're no longer triggered. It's stuff like

355
00:28:51.800 --> 00:28:56.640
rejection that I have been healed from and I'm continuing to be healed in

356
00:28:56.640 --> 00:29:00.520
greater and greater measure that I'm actually not working to be healed from.

357
00:29:00.520 --> 00:29:06.360
I'm simply releasing it and therefore I'm becoming more and more of my true

358
00:29:06.360 --> 00:29:12.560
nature because I'm stopping hindering my nature. I'm actually resisting, I'm

359
00:29:12.600 --> 00:29:16.840
releasing all of the resistance and I have discovered that when I'm around

360
00:29:16.840 --> 00:29:21.200
those people, I'm not as triggered and I haven't been working on it. I haven't

361
00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:25.240
been going to counseling. I haven't been trying to counsel myself. I haven't been

362
00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:29.360
reading the Bible to try to remind myself about what God says this and God

363
00:29:29.360 --> 00:29:36.320
says this, God says this. I am releasing and I am filling my mind and my world up

364
00:29:36.320 --> 00:29:42.920
with the choice that God is, however big that I think his love

365
00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:48.320
is at the moment, I expand that. However much good that I believe that he is, I

366
00:29:48.320 --> 00:29:53.920
expand on that and that is how I'm healing from the trauma. You know where I

367
00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:58.240
am telling my soul, okay soul you are safe with this with the spirit man and

368
00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:01.640
it is okay.

369
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.060
and you don't need to do anything anymore. You don't have to know what the

370
00:30:03.060 --> 00:30:06.220
trauma is. You don't have to know what the rejection is. You don't know have to

371
00:30:06.220 --> 00:30:09.900
know how deep it is. You don't have to know why you're being triggered. Just

372
00:30:09.900 --> 00:30:15.600
release it and spirit man I give you permission to come in and in heal me. You

373
00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:19.620
got it? Great. I'm gonna go about my day because I'm going to believe that you're

374
00:30:19.620 --> 00:30:24.220
going to do that. I'm gonna believe that it is going on in my subconscious while

375
00:30:24.220 --> 00:30:28.860
my conscious is focused on other things.

376
00:30:29.540 --> 00:30:33.220
Yeah I'm sorry I was thinking about saying something else but I don't know.

377
00:30:33.220 --> 00:30:36.700
Okay so I'm just gonna say this hopefully it's not gonna get us too far

378
00:30:36.700 --> 00:30:40.660
off track but something that I was talking to somebody about today is

379
00:30:40.660 --> 00:30:50.060
remember that 95% of all of our decisions etc that drive our life 95% of

380
00:30:50.060 --> 00:30:56.500
that is subconscious and yet we tend to focus all of our 5% of consciousness on

381
00:30:56.500 --> 00:31:01.020
everything it is that we need to do and we're trying to problem-solve 100% of

382
00:31:01.020 --> 00:31:10.100
our life with 5% of our capacity. No wonder we're tired. So so apparently just

383
00:31:10.100 --> 00:31:14.820
again just like the physical is this type and shadow of the spiritual the

384
00:31:14.820 --> 00:31:22.900
majority of us healing the majority of us problem-solving and all of that is

385
00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:31.020
95% under the surface that we are not required of not required to be conscious

386
00:31:31.020 --> 00:31:38.940
of let alone you know expected to be conscious of in order for it to happen.

387
00:31:38.940 --> 00:31:44.180
95% so just let it go you don't have to think about it you don't have to figure

388
00:31:44.180 --> 00:31:47.380
it out you don't have to try to heal from it you don't have don't have to try

389
00:31:47.380 --> 00:31:55.940
to understand it and you can be healed. So saying it's so freeing yes I know so

390
00:31:55.940 --> 00:32:00.140
anyway if y'all want to talk more about it specifically you know in our one-on-ones

391
00:32:00.140 --> 00:32:03.780
we absolutely can and I just thought that I would throw that out there just

392
00:32:03.780 --> 00:32:08.620
really fast yes it is very hard but there are ways to there's way there are

393
00:32:08.620 --> 00:32:15.500
ways for us to be healed from it and I'm a testament to that fact and that

394
00:32:15.500 --> 00:32:20.740
the way that God began to one of the first ways that God began to reveal to

395
00:32:20.740 --> 00:32:32.380
me the ability to heal without having to think about it was through rejection was

396
00:32:32.380 --> 00:32:39.140
through someone that I had a an extremely deep wound one of the

397
00:32:39.140 --> 00:32:44.180
honestly probably the deepest wound that I've received from a human being ever

398
00:32:44.180 --> 00:32:49.500
and it wasn't no it wasn't like an event it was over a large amount of time the

399
00:32:49.500 --> 00:32:53.540
deepest wound that I believe that so far that I understand which I don't have to

400
00:32:53.540 --> 00:32:57.420
know all my traumas right from what I've been conscious that was my deepest wound

401
00:32:57.420 --> 00:33:03.540
and God has healed it God taught me this principle about releasing and

402
00:33:03.540 --> 00:33:09.300
everything and this was one of the first ways that he actually taught me in

403
00:33:09.300 --> 00:33:17.020
experientially that it works was through through rejection and this is somebody

404
00:33:17.020 --> 00:33:22.300
who even told me that my relationship with God was wrong I mean it was oh man

405
00:33:22.300 --> 00:33:29.340
it cut deep so anyway so I just wanted to give you hope but we can we can talk

406
00:33:29.340 --> 00:33:32.860
about all this more one-on-one can you touch on how to heal a rejection when

407
00:33:32.860 --> 00:33:38.820
it's in a constant context so the wound gets hit on an almost constant yeah been

408
00:33:38.820 --> 00:33:45.300
through that too so yes um okay so we are getting a little off-topic but I can

409
00:33:45.300 --> 00:33:52.180
touch on that so and for for the constant it's the same thing that it's

410
00:33:52.180 --> 00:33:59.500
if we if we are trying to solve all of it in with 5% of our capacity then it's

411
00:33:59.500 --> 00:34:05.220
gonna take entirely too long it's gonna be extremely hurtful it's gonna drum up

412
00:34:05.220 --> 00:34:12.580
all kinds of pain but if we allow if we just if we just release it and we and we

413
00:34:12.580 --> 00:34:18.460
every time we get triggered in the moment we just let go the expectation

414
00:34:18.460 --> 00:34:22.460
that it should be different we're not talking about giving into it just like

415
00:34:22.460 --> 00:34:26.659
accepting it like well you know I guess it's the way that it is and and I guess

416
00:34:26.659 --> 00:34:31.060
I just have to take it no we're not talking about that perspective please

417
00:34:31.060 --> 00:34:37.060
write a book my other client keeps telling me that and one of my one-on-one

418
00:34:37.060 --> 00:34:40.139
clients to get started talking to me about a book I'm like what book so

419
00:34:40.139 --> 00:34:48.340
apparently there's a book coming in um but okay so sorry where was I um oh but

420
00:34:48.340 --> 00:34:51.900
yeah so the trigger so when you're triggered the very first thing that we

421
00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:59.580
do is is is we have to we have to release that whatever it is that suddenly comes

422
00:34:59.580 --> 00:35:01.820
up

423
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.280
that creates that tightness. We've got to let that go.

424
00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:06.560
That's the most important thing because for one thing we can't actually

425
00:35:06.560 --> 00:35:09.920
deal with the situation and with the person in

426
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:14.640
in a healthy way when we're not in a place of rest.

427
00:35:14.640 --> 00:35:18.480
So if we want to actually effectively deal with this situation

428
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:22.080
we have to first get rid of the other otherwise we don't have a healthy

429
00:35:22.080 --> 00:35:25.760
position to even be hopeful that we can

430
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:29.280
effectively deal with it because we're not in a healthy place to

431
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:33.040
make a a right decision. So we've got to let go of that first and

432
00:35:33.040 --> 00:35:36.800
because God says that you and how you feel is more important

433
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:39.360
than that interaction that you're having with that other

434
00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:44.320
person. That is more important to him. That is how important you are.

435
00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:47.920
He's like I don't want you to feel like that so we're gonna I want you

436
00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:51.600
and I give you permission to deal with that first so you just drop it.

437
00:35:51.600 --> 00:35:55.200
You just let go of whatever is that is that that angst and that

438
00:35:55.200 --> 00:35:57.680
and that and that hurt and that frustration. That's exactly what I'm

439
00:35:57.680 --> 00:36:00.400
learning. I don't want to be a martyr but I'm tired of requiring

440
00:36:00.400 --> 00:36:06.720
respect. Yeah oh my word how to commit that one

441
00:36:06.720 --> 00:36:10.240
because yes I've had to I had to do that one too.

442
00:36:10.240 --> 00:36:18.160
A man okay so I might have to think about

443
00:36:18.160 --> 00:36:22.400
that one because I've had to live it and and the Lord showed me how to do it

444
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:25.920
but I'm gonna have to think about how to articulate what I did.

445
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:31.280
Because I actually continually have to do that with

446
00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:36.480
with some people that I know and that's some of the greatest

447
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:41.520
rejection that I've received is a rejection where I'm not even being

448
00:36:41.520 --> 00:36:44.480
respected. It's not even a rejection of an opinion.

449
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:48.480
It's a rejection of a lack of respect and I'm not being treated with respect

450
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:54.000
and it's you know in my world in my

451
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:56.640
world I'm not comparing it to anybody else's but in my world it's very

452
00:36:56.640 --> 00:37:00.160
extreme and I have to deal with that as

453
00:37:00.160 --> 00:37:03.680
well so I'm going to so I'm going to have to get back to you on

454
00:37:03.680 --> 00:37:06.640
that because I cannot think at the moment

455
00:37:06.640 --> 00:37:11.840
about how to articulate how I navigate that and meaning

456
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:15.200
like how I shift, how I handle it, how I

457
00:37:15.200 --> 00:37:20.880
handle it internally so that I don't crumble and give in to the lie that is

458
00:37:20.960 --> 00:37:25.200
trying to attack me. The lie that wants to that's demanding

459
00:37:25.200 --> 00:37:30.160
attention. So I'll get back to you on that.

460
00:37:30.160 --> 00:37:34.560
Yeah and don't beat yourself up if others do turn to walk away when you

461
00:37:34.560 --> 00:37:38.320
stand up for yourself. True stuff. Yes, absolutely.

462
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:44.320
Okay, so back to the thing at hand. So I will get back to you on that.

463
00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:48.480
I'm just gonna have to ask the Lord to remind me

464
00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:52.000
how to put into words because I'm trying to think I've ever had to explain

465
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:55.520
it before. I've just had to work. Hey, Amy. I just

466
00:37:55.520 --> 00:37:59.600
had to do it a lot.

467
00:37:59.600 --> 00:38:03.200
Oh my word. That right there is probably one of the biggest

468
00:38:03.200 --> 00:38:06.720
struggles that I've had in my life. Is that right there? You worded it really

469
00:38:06.720 --> 00:38:10.480
well. Really well, Holly.

470
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:13.680
Feel free to use me as an example from Christmas.

471
00:38:13.680 --> 00:38:16.640
Oh, that's really sweet. I appreciate that. Okay.

472
00:38:16.640 --> 00:38:22.960
I'll remember. Let's see here. It's very sweet of you.

473
00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:27.760
What was I gonna say? Okay, so let me get back to what it is

474
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:30.800
that we were talking about. It's good to know that this is such a

475
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:33.520
hot topic because we can absolutely talk about that one.

476
00:38:33.520 --> 00:38:36.560
Just not something that even though that was one of the biggest issues in my

477
00:38:36.560 --> 00:38:39.840
life that I've had to deal with it never occurred to me that that would be

478
00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:43.440
a good subject to talk about. So I'm glad y'all brought it up.

479
00:38:43.440 --> 00:38:48.560
Let's see. Okay, so seeing people. I don't remember

480
00:38:48.560 --> 00:38:51.040
where it is that I left off exactly, but

481
00:38:51.040 --> 00:38:57.120
remember that we need to see people for who they are in Christ. Remember that

482
00:38:57.120 --> 00:39:00.560
the bride was reinserted back into Christ when we die,

483
00:39:00.560 --> 00:39:05.840
when he died on the cross. So after he died, the spear was inserted into Christ

484
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:10.720
and as a type in a shadow even though there was physical reasons

485
00:39:10.720 --> 00:39:14.240
why the soldier was doing that in order to prove to

486
00:39:14.240 --> 00:39:17.840
himself that physically there was physical evidence that Jesus was

487
00:39:17.840 --> 00:39:20.720
already dead because blood and water came out.

488
00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:23.920
Symbolically, the second Adam's side was opened

489
00:39:23.920 --> 00:39:28.880
and blood and water came out. Blood as a symbol of the fact that the

490
00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:32.720
bride was being purchased by the blood and then the water coming

491
00:39:32.720 --> 00:39:35.920
out as a symbol that the bride was being cleansed

492
00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:39.360
by the washing of the word because remember Jesus is the word.

493
00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:43.440
Washing of the word, washing of the water by the word.

494
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:49.280
Just as a husband is told in Ephesians that he is called to wash

495
00:39:49.280 --> 00:39:55.440
and cleanse his wife by the cleansing of the water of the word.

496
00:39:55.440 --> 00:39:59.200
Jesus is the one who did, who showed us that example when he

497
00:39:59.200 --> 00:40:01.920
when he died.

498
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.640
Anyway, that is when the bride was reinserted back into Christ and we

499
00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:10.260
became one with Christ. So, we're one with Christ and they are one with Christ. They

500
00:40:10.260 --> 00:40:14.740
just don't know it. So, whoever it is that we're interacting with, they don't know

501
00:40:14.740 --> 00:40:18.900
that they're already one with Christ. They think they're down here and so this

502
00:40:18.900 --> 00:40:23.020
is who they're going to present to you. They're going to present themselves in

503
00:40:23.020 --> 00:40:26.900
brokenness. They're going to present themselves in low self-esteem. They're

504
00:40:26.900 --> 00:40:31.980
going to present themselves in false humility that they think is humility and

505
00:40:31.980 --> 00:40:36.580
really it's low self-esteem. They're going to, like I said, sometimes present

506
00:40:36.580 --> 00:40:41.380
themselves in extreme brokenness and they're going to attack you. They're

507
00:40:41.380 --> 00:40:44.700
going to try to tear you down. They're going to scream and yell and

508
00:40:44.700 --> 00:40:48.900
and say that they're over you and that they're better than you and you know all

509
00:40:48.900 --> 00:40:54.340
of this respect that we're talking about and in rejection, etc. They're doing it

510
00:40:54.340 --> 00:41:00.900
from this place. So, we feel rejection if we put ourselves down here, if we operate

511
00:41:00.900 --> 00:41:04.140
out of the soul. That's what I'm talking about all about up here. We're one with

512
00:41:04.140 --> 00:41:09.500
Christ. We're in the Spirit versus believing that we're down here. So, in so

513
00:41:09.500 --> 00:41:13.360
many areas of our life, we're going to believe that we're up here. Yes, I've got

514
00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:17.900
this thing down and then we get a trigger and we all of a sudden realize,

515
00:41:17.900 --> 00:41:21.860
okay, in this area of my life, I apparently believe I'm down here. I'm

516
00:41:22.020 --> 00:41:28.580
believing some kind of a lie that tells me that I'm actually in that that my

517
00:41:28.580 --> 00:41:33.580
oneness with Christ is actually limited in this area and I'm actually like this.

518
00:41:33.580 --> 00:41:40.020
And so, that is when we can feel rejected because we're in this

519
00:41:40.020 --> 00:41:45.020
head-to-head battle because we're peers now. It's two broken people trying to

520
00:41:45.020 --> 00:41:49.580
interact. And so, this person's saying, no, you know, I'm over you and you're

521
00:41:49.580 --> 00:41:54.380
subservient to me and you're not as good as I am and you've got issues and

522
00:41:54.380 --> 00:41:58.340
you need to grow up and you need to be, you know, this, that, and the other. He

523
00:41:58.340 --> 00:42:05.700
answers, a fool is a fool. Don't lower yourself. That's right. And so, that is

524
00:42:05.700 --> 00:42:08.580
that's what we're talking about when we're talking about feeling rejected.

525
00:42:08.580 --> 00:42:11.820
We've dropped ourselves down here. We're starting to believe a lie because if you

526
00:42:11.820 --> 00:42:15.220
know that you're up here, then anybody who's down here, they can just

527
00:42:15.220 --> 00:42:19.340
scream and yell all they want. You're like, I don't mean anything. You know, it's like

528
00:42:19.340 --> 00:42:26.820
you know, like if a toddler, if you are, if you're trying to put a toddler to

529
00:42:26.820 --> 00:42:31.020
bed and a tolerant toddler tells you you're mean, but does that hurt your

530
00:42:31.020 --> 00:42:35.740
feelings? No. Now, do you want your child to tell you that? No. But do you actually

531
00:42:35.740 --> 00:42:41.340
think, oh my word, that might be true. I am putting my toddler to bed. I'm being

532
00:42:41.340 --> 00:42:46.700
mean. No, because you know that what you're doing is good for them. So,

533
00:42:46.700 --> 00:42:53.620
whatever they say, it's just like, it's not true. Now, I know that it that it kind

534
00:42:53.620 --> 00:42:56.780
of hurts. You're like, why would my child say something like that? You know, I don't

535
00:42:56.780 --> 00:43:03.420
want them to be that type of person, but we don't actually take it on as true

536
00:43:03.420 --> 00:43:07.580
about us. We know that it's not because we know who we are. We know our position,

537
00:43:07.580 --> 00:43:12.180
but when you come, you suddenly start talking to your mother or suddenly you

538
00:43:12.180 --> 00:43:15.420
start talking to your father or suddenly you start talking to your husband or

539
00:43:15.580 --> 00:43:18.860
suddenly you start talking to your business partner or your best friend or

540
00:43:18.860 --> 00:43:23.900
your arc in me or whatever and all of a sudden or that lady at church who's very

541
00:43:23.900 --> 00:43:31.860
nosy or who thinks that she's better than you at creating a

542
00:43:31.860 --> 00:43:36.180
committee in a Bible study. You know, whoever it is. You know, when we run into

543
00:43:36.180 --> 00:43:39.860
those people, all of a sudden we bring ourselves back down here. I'm like, oh, I

544
00:43:40.380 --> 00:43:45.300
don't really know that I'm like that. That's when we start feeling rejection.

545
00:43:45.300 --> 00:43:51.460
So, we have got to solidify ourselves in our identity in Christ. That's nothing

546
00:43:51.460 --> 00:43:55.300
that anybody else can do for us. Quite honestly, we can't talk ourselves up

547
00:43:55.300 --> 00:43:59.940
there, by the way. Now, we can give ourselves a bit of leverage. The thing

548
00:43:59.940 --> 00:44:03.260
that I have found to be the most beneficial when I'm about to walk into a

549
00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:07.780
situation, maybe I'm about to see someone that I'm struggling in a

550
00:44:07.780 --> 00:44:14.060
relationship with and I walk in there or I'm about to, I don't know, have a call

551
00:44:14.060 --> 00:44:19.380
with somebody. It could be business related, could be personal, whatever and

552
00:44:19.380 --> 00:44:22.300
there's something about me that's struggling. Let's say, for instance, I'm

553
00:44:22.300 --> 00:44:29.060
nervous. If I'm nervous, it means that I think I'm down here because somebody who

554
00:44:29.060 --> 00:44:34.140
is up here isn't nervous. That's not my nature. I think that I'm something that

555
00:44:34.140 --> 00:44:38.260
I'm not. I've forgotten that I'm the new man and I think I'm the old man and I'm

556
00:44:38.260 --> 00:44:42.820
nervous. So, I have to remind myself of who I am. So, what I do is the very first

557
00:44:42.820 --> 00:44:46.780
thing, when did we talk about this? I think we talked about it in the second

558
00:44:46.780 --> 00:44:53.900
live, the second teaching where I gave you that declaration that I

559
00:44:53.900 --> 00:44:57.860
declare where I say, you know, Christ, I believe. I walk my soul through this. The

560
00:44:57.860 --> 00:45:02.300
whole point of it is to walk my soul through this and remind

561
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.720
my soul who I am and so I literally, I personally say it out loud but I live

562
00:45:04.720 --> 00:45:08.000
alone. You could say it in your own head but I

563
00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:11.840
find it helpful to actually say it you know to help my soul kind of shift

564
00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:15.040
and I say Christ I believe that I was taken out of you

565
00:45:15.040 --> 00:45:18.160
and I believe I've been reinserted back into you and

566
00:45:18.160 --> 00:45:23.920
I abide in you as you abide in me and we abide in the father as the father

567
00:45:23.920 --> 00:45:27.840
abides in us and therefore I am always about my father's business

568
00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:32.640
and sometimes I have to repeat that a few times and I'm not

569
00:45:32.640 --> 00:45:36.960
the way that I'm saying it is I'm saying I'm declaring it like a judge would

570
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:39.840
declare it. I'm saying this is what is true

571
00:45:39.840 --> 00:45:46.000
Christ I believe this and I believe this and I believe this and I believe this

572
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:49.520
we're not asking ourselves we're not asking the lord to help me believe

573
00:45:49.520 --> 00:45:51.840
something and I'm not telling myself you should

574
00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:55.280
believe this you should believe this you should believe this

575
00:45:55.280 --> 00:46:00.240
no I'm declaring it to be so and it helps my soul shift faster and to remind

576
00:46:00.240 --> 00:46:03.600
myself of who I am and I bring myself from this position to

577
00:46:03.600 --> 00:46:09.760
this position a lot faster. I mean like I said the most I probably

578
00:46:09.760 --> 00:46:14.720
have ever had to repeat it is like three maybe four times I don't even think

579
00:46:14.720 --> 00:46:20.560
I've ever repeated it four times maybe only three times and I'm out there

580
00:46:20.560 --> 00:46:24.000
and I take the call I interact with the person whatever my

581
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:27.120
whatever it is that I'm about to do I'm about to this is

582
00:46:27.120 --> 00:46:32.160
this was you know what I even do it every now and then

583
00:46:32.160 --> 00:46:35.760
you know when I jump on when I jump on a teaching

584
00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:38.880
every now and then I'll realize wait a minute

585
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:44.320
I'm feeling a little I don't think that I'm remembering who I am in Christ

586
00:46:44.320 --> 00:46:48.560
and so I'll repeat it I think I did that

587
00:46:48.560 --> 00:46:52.560
yesterday or the day before or something and I did that I thought

588
00:46:52.560 --> 00:46:56.240
to remind myself of who I am so that I can give you

589
00:46:56.240 --> 00:47:02.240
who it is that I am who my spirit is not who I'm afraid that I am but who I

590
00:47:02.240 --> 00:47:05.520
actually am so in order to give you who it is that I am

591
00:47:05.520 --> 00:47:10.320
I have to remember so I do I walk myself through that and I declare that to

592
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:17.040
to the Lord and I shift in my soul so anyway that's what we need to do

593
00:47:17.040 --> 00:47:21.120
I find that exercise personally very helpful I was never explained that

594
00:47:21.120 --> 00:47:24.400
I just personally found that very helpful I mean

595
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:27.920
I've never been it's never been explained to me that's just something

596
00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:31.280
that I noticed helped me and so perhaps it'll help you and if it

597
00:47:31.280 --> 00:47:34.560
doesn't you know find something else you know that that really helps you kind of

598
00:47:34.560 --> 00:47:38.400
leverage leverage your soul and kind of push you

599
00:47:38.400 --> 00:47:41.760
up into that place and remind you of who you are so that you claim it

600
00:47:41.760 --> 00:47:48.960
not that you believe it that you you you actually shift anyway so

601
00:47:48.960 --> 00:47:53.920
if so you understand that whenever you're providing spiritual leadership

602
00:47:53.920 --> 00:48:00.320
to a friend to a child to a parent to whatever in other words someone is

603
00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:06.320
presenting themselves to you is from a broken place

604
00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:10.400
that is a situation in which you're called to be a spiritual leader

605
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:14.640
even if it is for five minutes say you're with a friend

606
00:48:14.640 --> 00:48:18.080
and they're presenting some brokenness to you and I don't mean like anger or

607
00:48:18.080 --> 00:48:20.800
something like that but they're you're on the couch and y'all are talking and

608
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:23.440
they're presenting some they're presenting the fact they

609
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:28.320
believe that they're that they're broken that is an opportunity for you to be in

610
00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:32.800
this position and to speak to and to speak to them

611
00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:38.480
and and as as a spiritual leader providing a bit of covering if you will

612
00:48:38.480 --> 00:48:42.720
that provides them a safe place in order to receive grace

613
00:48:42.720 --> 00:48:47.520
to receive who it is that they truly are and rise to this position

614
00:48:47.520 --> 00:48:50.720
and then that might it might only take five minutes and then you might be

615
00:48:50.720 --> 00:48:54.720
talking about another subject and then in that other subject you're

616
00:48:54.720 --> 00:48:57.680
the one who's struggling with some something you're and you're talking

617
00:48:57.680 --> 00:49:00.800
about x y and z and you don't recognize that you're

618
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:04.480
talking out of your soul but your friend sees that and they're

619
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:07.120
like but that's not who you are you're this

620
00:49:07.120 --> 00:49:12.320
and so they talk to they talk to this person here they talk to the you up here

621
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:15.440
and so eventually you're oh that's right that is my name

622
00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:19.200
isn't it you recognize your name and you forget that you shift your

623
00:49:19.200 --> 00:49:24.400
consciousness from here to here because this is who this person is

624
00:49:24.400 --> 00:49:29.360
talking to if you're talking to this person

625
00:49:29.360 --> 00:49:34.160
they can't they can't hear how to be different you have got to address

626
00:49:34.160 --> 00:49:38.160
this person whether you're talking to a client whether you're talking to people

627
00:49:38.160 --> 00:49:41.920
underneath you that you're managing and i under i don't know that any of y'all

628
00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:44.560
on here actually are managing people i'm not sure

629
00:49:44.560 --> 00:49:48.720
but i used to manage a lot of people and this is how i had to do it

630
00:49:48.720 --> 00:49:52.160
i always had to talk to this person it didn't matter who was

631
00:49:52.160 --> 00:49:55.360
who was presenting themselves to me and how they were doing it

632
00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:58.560
i always talked to this person and i taught and i

633
00:49:58.560 --> 00:50:01.920
and i called

634
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.920
this name out. And so they always loved coming to me about things because they always loved

635
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:11.760
remembering, well that's right this is who I am because this is who Ashley sees. I think I'm this

636
00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:15.920
but Ashley always sees this and so by the time they're talking and finish talking to me when

637
00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:23.120
they walk away they leave like this. And then it enabled them to do their jobs better and handle

638
00:50:23.120 --> 00:50:28.320
their projects better. It enabled them to be in a position from which they were able to make better

639
00:50:28.320 --> 00:50:37.920
decisions, be much more creative, etc. Because all of their energy was now free from thinking

640
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:44.480
about and protecting their brokenness and their sense of vulnerability. And they were now able

641
00:50:44.480 --> 00:50:51.360
to spend that in being creative because they had removed and released all of the hindrances

642
00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:58.800
by rising to this position. So that is what we're called to do and it doesn't matter if they are

643
00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:04.480
if they and their brokenness are throwing anger and animosity, disrespect,

644
00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:13.680
my goodness what other things, abuse. You know it doesn't matter what it is that they're trying to

645
00:51:13.680 --> 00:51:20.960
that they're trying to throw. If you talk to this person, not this one, if you see who they are in

646
00:51:20.960 --> 00:51:28.000
Christ, if you remember no matter how awful and ugly their brokenness is that they're throwing

647
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:33.360
at you, if you in the spirit remember who it is that they are, you know what they're one with

648
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:41.520
Christ and they don't remember it. But I know that I'm one with Christ. So if okay so say for instance

649
00:51:41.520 --> 00:51:46.480
if you're both down here and you're getting hurt and you're not up here, you can't talk to this

650
00:51:46.480 --> 00:51:53.440
person because you're down here. The only way you can talk to this person and so that they can

651
00:51:53.440 --> 00:51:58.640
rise, in other words that you can be what it is that they need, is if you're up here. So that's

652
00:51:58.640 --> 00:52:03.520
why it's important to prepare ourselves first. It's important that we need to be, it's important

653
00:52:03.520 --> 00:52:09.280
for us to be who it is that we need to be in order to be able to have the, in order to be

654
00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:14.320
able to have what other people need in order to get where they need to go. You have to deal with

655
00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:21.360
yourself first. You have to put on your own oxygen mask first before you can be available to help

656
00:52:21.360 --> 00:52:28.560
someone else. Remember that one, you know from when we fly in an airplane. That's why you, it's

657
00:52:28.560 --> 00:52:34.640
even with the oxygen mask, you know where someone's life is in jeopardy, you have

658
00:52:34.640 --> 00:52:40.560
the parent and the adult has got to take care of themselves first before they can hope to be what

659
00:52:40.560 --> 00:52:48.000
the child needs. The child needs them. The child doesn't need themselves. The child needs you,

660
00:52:48.880 --> 00:52:56.400
so to speak. Needs you to be you. That's what the child needs and then so when

661
00:52:56.400 --> 00:53:03.360
parents are driven by their child's demands, the child is not in a situation in which he even

662
00:53:03.360 --> 00:53:09.040
understands what he needs. God knew what he needed so he gave him you. So you have to be you in order

663
00:53:09.120 --> 00:53:15.120
and that will naturally, effortlessly provide the child with what it is that they need. It's when

664
00:53:15.120 --> 00:53:22.560
you're denying the child yourself because you're so focused on providing

665
00:53:22.560 --> 00:53:30.160
according to the child's, you know, demands that you, you know, directly then according to the way

666
00:53:30.160 --> 00:53:34.400
that they say that they need it and they say that they want it, etc. That the child actually doesn't

667
00:53:34.400 --> 00:53:39.760
get what it is that they truly need. It might satisfy them in the short run, kind of like

668
00:53:39.760 --> 00:53:45.920
the way that we eat. We eat sugar in order to satisfy something in our hearts or

669
00:53:45.920 --> 00:53:51.440
we give in to some kind of an addiction, whether it be food or something else, TV, Netflix, whatever,

670
00:53:52.000 --> 00:53:58.240
but in the long, that's actually not what it is that we need, but we think that because

671
00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:06.240
it suppresses and it stifles and it minimizes the feeling of the need for a while.

672
00:54:06.240 --> 00:54:11.120
In other words, it kind of suffocates it for a while. We think that it's gone, but it's not.

673
00:54:11.120 --> 00:54:19.760
So anyway, so in other words, the point is that we are who other people need, whether we're

674
00:54:19.760 --> 00:54:23.920
talking about children or you're talking about team members or you're talking about an upline,

675
00:54:23.920 --> 00:54:35.120
downline, clients, vendors, business partners, spouses, parents, whoever, they need you to be

676
00:54:35.120 --> 00:54:40.720
who you are. They don't know it though, but remember what Jesus did and lied at that situation

677
00:54:40.720 --> 00:54:46.880
and then remember that whenever they rejected him, that Jesus says that they're not rejecting

678
00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:52.080
us, they're rejecting him in us and so there's no reason for us to take it personally.

679
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:57.440
Which sounds nice to hear and we all know the words, but we need to actually

680
00:54:58.080 --> 00:54:59.920
walk it out. So I'll try to do, I'll try to

681
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.480
do teaching about how to actually practically walk that out when we're

682
00:55:05.480 --> 00:55:12.280
when we're struggling with rejection and versus a position of martyrdom or

683
00:55:12.280 --> 00:55:16.560
being a doormat. I lived the majority of my life as a martyr and a doormat.

684
00:55:16.560 --> 00:55:22.400
Very extreme. I had almost I almost didn't I actually didn't even know what

685
00:55:22.400 --> 00:55:28.800
I wanted you know because I stopped dreaming and because dreams I felt were

686
00:55:28.800 --> 00:55:34.400
a threat to me so I stopped dreaming and so God had to teach me how to dream

687
00:55:34.400 --> 00:55:43.640
again. Okay so anyway that is how we need to view people. Now what do you do so

688
00:55:43.640 --> 00:55:51.120
let's think let's think let's take all of this a bit further. Yes you call this

689
00:55:51.120 --> 00:56:01.000
person's name out up here you do that however what one of the things that I

690
00:56:01.000 --> 00:56:08.520
was very was just very surprising to me I don't I don't know I don't know if

691
00:56:08.520 --> 00:56:12.600
this is gonna be surprising to you I was just very surprised when I discovered

692
00:56:12.600 --> 00:56:20.080
that this is how it works. When I became a when I happened to be a leader of a

693
00:56:20.080 --> 00:56:26.480
of a large group of people in a corporate environment I began to

694
00:56:26.480 --> 00:56:33.640
discover leadership in a very in a brand new way. It expanded my understanding of

695
00:56:33.640 --> 00:56:41.200
it tremendously and I began to realize that the perp that what a leader is

696
00:56:41.200 --> 00:56:46.800
meant to be is not to actually get anything accomplished. That is not the

697
00:56:46.800 --> 00:56:54.360
responsibility of a manager. The purpose of a manager is is not to make sure that

698
00:56:54.360 --> 00:57:01.080
a project gets done. He should not be responsible for that. What he is

699
00:57:01.080 --> 00:57:06.160
responsible for is and I'm just gonna use the manager as an example in other

700
00:57:06.160 --> 00:57:11.520
words you know a leader he's responsible for is to providing an environment in

701
00:57:11.880 --> 00:57:17.520
which the people underneath them underneath them feel safe and have what

702
00:57:17.520 --> 00:57:22.520
it is that they need in order to do what they need to do and function in the

703
00:57:22.520 --> 00:57:28.200
capacity in which they were intended to function. That is the purpose of a leader.

704
00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:34.240
That is the purpose of leadership is you provide an umbrella in other words of

705
00:57:34.240 --> 00:57:41.240
protection for everyone else to be able to function underneath you and and have

706
00:57:41.240 --> 00:57:46.160
space to do so. To have protection from anything on the outside that wants to

707
00:57:46.160 --> 00:57:53.960
come in and try to try to damage it and and also make sure that whatever it is

708
00:57:53.960 --> 00:57:58.840
that they need you make sure that there's nothing hindering them and being

709
00:57:58.840 --> 00:58:09.240
able to get it. That is the purpose of a leader. So what is an example? Let me let

710
00:58:09.240 --> 00:58:13.560
me use there's a variety of ways that we can talk about this but let me talk

711
00:58:13.560 --> 00:58:21.480
about it from perspective of a couple people on here who are in MLMs and

712
00:58:21.480 --> 00:58:26.240
because they have down lines and so just like managers they have people

713
00:58:26.240 --> 00:58:30.240
underneath them that have their own businesses just like they have their own

714
00:58:30.240 --> 00:58:36.720
business they have their own business and yet they are also a leader to them.

715
00:58:36.800 --> 00:58:43.240
So what do you do if you can't tell them what to do and because they have their

716
00:58:43.240 --> 00:58:47.440
they're all autonomous so to speak they all have their own business and yet

717
00:58:47.440 --> 00:58:50.760
you're supposed to be you're supposed to be a team you're supposed to be a

718
00:58:50.760 --> 00:58:55.140
support system. In that support system what is the purpose of a leader? The

719
00:58:55.140 --> 00:59:00.480
purpose of a leader again is to provide an environment that is safe for those

720
00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:04.320
people to operate and function in the capacity in which they were intended to

721
00:59:04.320 --> 00:59:14.200
function which is determined by God. Not by you but by God. God and allow them to

722
00:59:14.200 --> 00:59:17.960
operate with God according to their spirit build their business in the way

723
00:59:17.960 --> 00:59:23.880
that they were that God and them want to build it etc and to provide into in

724
00:59:23.880 --> 00:59:29.280
other words to provide them a space in which they can learn to that they can be

725
00:59:29.280 --> 00:59:34.000
empowered they can feel empowered they have an environment in which they can

726
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:39.160
learn they can begin to try ideas they can begin to function while they're

727
00:59:39.160 --> 00:59:46.280
being given support of who it is that they are. Not support in what they do

728
00:59:46.280 --> 00:59:50.840
like their actions but support because of course you can do that as well but

729
00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:55.720
the point is that's that's not that's not the focus the point is they need to

730
00:59:55.720 --> 01:00:00.320
receive support for who it is that they are.

731
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.060
know that you see who they are and you're calling that person out. And if

732
01:00:06.060 --> 01:00:10.740
you do that, they will naturally rise up and operate according to the spirit that

733
01:00:10.740 --> 01:00:14.460
God gave them. And when they operate according to the spirit in which God gave them,

734
01:00:14.460 --> 01:00:18.980
what they are doing whenever they start coming up with great ideas, when they

735
01:00:18.980 --> 01:00:22.660
start implementing all of those ideas, they implement, when they implement them

736
01:00:22.660 --> 01:00:28.020
out of the spirit, they implement life. They're creating businesses that

737
01:00:28.020 --> 01:00:33.160
actually have life flowing through them that end up, their ideas succeed,

738
01:00:33.160 --> 01:00:37.020
their businesses flourish, they attract the clients that they're meant to

739
01:00:37.020 --> 01:00:43.720
attract, etc. Because they are being seen and recognized by the leader for who

740
01:00:43.720 --> 01:00:48.840
they are. That is the purpose and the function of a leader. It's not to get the

741
01:00:48.840 --> 01:00:55.280
business and the money and the profit to get to a certain standard of measure. It

742
01:00:55.280 --> 01:01:02.080
is to empower the individuals to be whatever it is that God has created them

743
01:01:02.080 --> 01:01:08.720
to be. That is the most powerful function of a leader. It's to support the people

744
01:01:08.720 --> 01:01:14.040
for who they are, not to make them into something different or to fix their

745
01:01:14.040 --> 01:01:24.720
strategies or whatever. Issues and mistakes, all of that will naturally iron

746
01:01:24.760 --> 01:01:31.920
themselves out if people feel empowered and believed in. That they have value and

747
01:01:31.920 --> 01:01:37.640
a contribution and they need to be provided an environment in which they

748
01:01:37.640 --> 01:01:42.480
can feel supported in that. The same thing with parents and children. That is

749
01:01:42.480 --> 01:01:47.840
the exact same thing. That a parent is a leader who is providing an

750
01:01:47.840 --> 01:01:53.440
environment in which the children in that environment have a safe

751
01:01:53.440 --> 01:01:58.800
place in which to grow and function. It's to put that umbrella and that

752
01:01:58.800 --> 01:02:03.080
leadership protects anything that comes in that wants to come in from the

753
01:02:03.080 --> 01:02:09.480
outside to touch this or to taint this. It also provides make sure that

754
01:02:09.480 --> 01:02:14.680
anything that the children need is provided in order to function the way

755
01:02:14.680 --> 01:02:19.120
they were intended to function by God, by the spirit that God created

756
01:02:19.120 --> 01:02:25.480
those children to be and to act in. That they have whatever it is that they need.

757
01:02:25.480 --> 01:02:31.000
The purpose of a leader is to provide an environment in order for people to

758
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:38.520
operate and function according to the spirit that they were

759
01:02:38.520 --> 01:02:47.160
created in and created to function in by God.

760
01:02:47.160 --> 01:02:51.720
That's the purpose of a leader. It's not to accomplish something. It's not to

761
01:02:51.720 --> 01:02:57.400
help somebody else accomplish something. It's to encourage, empower, and

762
01:02:57.400 --> 01:03:03.080
support them. Now along with that you can actually do things. You can actually

763
01:03:03.080 --> 01:03:08.200
actively help them accomplish X, Y, and Z but it's supporting them and their

764
01:03:08.200 --> 01:03:12.760
decisions even if you don't agree with it. Because you're supporting

765
01:03:13.080 --> 01:03:17.880
them. Let me give you an example because I know some of you

766
01:03:17.880 --> 01:03:22.600
might be thinking, that sounds very scary. Oh my word, what might they do?

767
01:03:22.600 --> 01:03:28.600
One of the things again is for a leader to provide a safe

768
01:03:28.600 --> 01:03:34.600
environment. I'm sorry, I think it thinks I'm talking to it.

769
01:03:35.000 --> 01:03:40.600
No, okay, I don't know. Hopefully nothing's on in my computer.

770
01:03:40.600 --> 01:03:47.240
It sounded like Cortana. I thought I was talking to her. Anyway, a

771
01:03:47.240 --> 01:03:51.520
leader provides a safe environment and it also provides a safe

772
01:03:51.520 --> 01:03:55.840
environment in order for people to be able to make mistakes. When I'm talking

773
01:03:55.840 --> 01:03:59.680
about safe, that's one of the things I'm talking about. It's not just safety from

774
01:03:59.680 --> 01:04:07.320
anything from the outside. It is safe to be able to try. Safe, it's allowing

775
01:04:07.400 --> 01:04:10.360
people to,

776
01:04:11.400 --> 01:04:15.960
there we go, sorry, turn off the computer. I'm hoping nothing's listening to me.

777
01:04:15.960 --> 01:04:20.440
Provide them a safe environment in which to make mistakes

778
01:04:20.440 --> 01:04:26.200
before they get outside of the umbrella of your protection.

779
01:04:26.200 --> 01:04:34.840
It's not to enforce measures that,

780
01:04:34.840 --> 01:04:40.840
well, how would you put it? It's not to stifle

781
01:04:40.840 --> 01:04:48.520
the possibility of mistakes. Now, yes, anything that can

782
01:04:48.520 --> 01:04:52.200
lead to extreme destruction, yes, absolutely. I

783
01:04:52.200 --> 01:04:54.040
mean, that's part of the safe

784
01:04:54.040 --> 01:04:56.920
environment in which you're providing for someone else, but you're also

785
01:04:56.920 --> 01:05:01.880
providing them a safe environment in which to make mistakes.

786
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.600
and bear consequences that but in a safe place as opposed to bearing the type of

787
01:05:07.600 --> 01:05:12.880
consequences that would happen if they had operated like that outside of your

788
01:05:12.880 --> 01:05:20.340
in of your safe environment. Okay and so let me give you an example of how I had

789
01:05:20.340 --> 01:05:26.200
to do this as a leader. So I had a I was I was managing a project of a team of

790
01:05:26.200 --> 01:05:35.860
about 45 people and they it was what was referred to as an agile project in

791
01:05:35.860 --> 01:05:39.880
other words it wasn't a traditional well they are throwing out all of these

792
01:05:39.880 --> 01:05:43.400
business terms it wasn't a traditional waterfall project it was this is an agile

793
01:05:43.400 --> 01:05:50.320
as an agile project and so meaning that everyone's opinion mattered. It did not

794
01:05:50.480 --> 01:05:56.800
matter how high or low on the totem pole and the hierarchy of the project that a

795
01:05:56.800 --> 01:06:06.160
person was. Every single person had some measure of an of a voice. It was very

796
01:06:06.160 --> 01:06:11.240
very fascinating. The Lord taught me a lot through that process through

797
01:06:11.240 --> 01:06:16.720
operating in a very large project in that way and so if everyone has a voice

798
01:06:16.720 --> 01:06:22.600
and you're the manager you've got to really facilitate that. See why do

799
01:06:22.600 --> 01:06:27.000
managers like to micromanage? Because they like control so that they can be

800
01:06:27.000 --> 01:06:30.640
determined they can be assured that everything is going to work out in a

801
01:06:30.640 --> 01:06:35.200
particular way. Same thing with our children. If we do this then we can be

802
01:06:35.200 --> 01:06:39.080
assured that it's going we think that we can have control over the fact that we

803
01:06:39.080 --> 01:06:43.360
will get a particular result that they will operate in a particular way that it

804
01:06:43.360 --> 01:06:51.760
will result in X. So when I had to operate in the agile project in an agile

805
01:06:51.760 --> 01:06:57.000
environment it began to teach me how to empower other people to make decisions

806
01:06:57.000 --> 01:07:01.840
and how a leader provides a safe environment in order for them to make

807
01:07:01.840 --> 01:07:07.480
mistakes. So here's here was my role and here's what I would do and here's how

808
01:07:07.480 --> 01:07:14.800
actually I gained the the respect and of the team. So when I first started on

809
01:07:14.800 --> 01:07:19.680
the team I was lowest man on the totem pole literally. I was a business analyst

810
01:07:19.680 --> 01:07:25.880
on the project and everybody else is above me. Business analyst on the project

811
01:07:25.880 --> 01:07:33.840
and in fact I was a long story but I I did not know what on earth I was doing

812
01:07:33.840 --> 01:07:37.560
and I've been I've been a turnaround consultant for goodness sakes let alone

813
01:07:37.560 --> 01:07:41.640
a business analyst. I've been a business analyst as well but this was like on a

814
01:07:41.640 --> 01:07:44.800
totally different level. I'd never quite done it exactly the way that they were

815
01:07:44.800 --> 01:07:50.440
doing it. I and I did not know what was going on. I was literally raked over the

816
01:07:50.440 --> 01:07:54.920
coals publicly as as Ashley you have no idea what you're doing and you are

817
01:07:54.920 --> 01:08:00.480
damaging this project. You are destroying other people's work etc etc. I'm going

818
01:08:00.560 --> 01:08:08.640
what? It's just horrible. So I went up my my boss promoted me from lowest on the

819
01:08:08.640 --> 01:08:18.040
totem pole to her position. So I am now leading the team of 45 people. So I'm

820
01:08:18.040 --> 01:08:22.920
like oh my goodness. So you can see that especially if I was raked over the coals

821
01:08:22.920 --> 01:08:26.800
as the lowest man in the totem pole by the time I got up here she just like

822
01:08:27.120 --> 01:08:31.200
put me up there because she knew from my experience and she saw the way she saw

823
01:08:31.200 --> 01:08:34.800
with my work ethic and the way that I made decisions she trusted me to be in

824
01:08:34.800 --> 01:08:41.640
that position. So but I didn't I didn't have everyone else's respect so I'm now

825
01:08:41.640 --> 01:08:49.720
in that position without my subordinates respect. 45 people for someone and so

826
01:08:49.720 --> 01:08:56.120
okay okay Lauren I need some help here. Long story about what all went on but one

827
01:08:56.120 --> 01:09:00.560
of the thing one of the ways that I because this went oh my word very long

828
01:09:00.560 --> 01:09:05.160
project so but there's a lot to tell about this story but let me just reduce

829
01:09:05.160 --> 01:09:09.760
it to this much. One of the things that I had to learn and that I had to I had to

830
01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:14.840
learn how to handle is how to gain their respect because I didn't know how to do

831
01:09:14.840 --> 01:09:19.080
it. I was very kind. I was always extremely helpful. I was always very

832
01:09:19.120 --> 01:09:27.840
supportive but I was I was abused. My kindness was abused. I was working up

833
01:09:27.840 --> 01:09:34.640
till like 12 30 at night up there and then would drive an hour home and then

834
01:09:34.640 --> 01:09:41.359
be back at 7 you know the next day and anyway it was very very interesting and

835
01:09:41.359 --> 01:09:46.080
and they would leave all their work for me. They would constantly they treated me

836
01:09:46.080 --> 01:09:51.600
kind of like a secretary. They'd give everything to me and yet I'm I'm the

837
01:09:51.600 --> 01:09:55.800
manager of the project so I thought okay Lord I don't understand how to gain

838
01:09:55.800 --> 01:10:01.960
their respect so the Lord began to teach me how to do that.

839
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.560
So here's one of the ways that I did it. I provided them a support system in which I protected them

840
01:10:08.560 --> 01:10:15.600
from people on the outside, including my own boss, that wanted them to do things,

841
01:10:15.600 --> 01:10:20.640
I don't know, differently. And they had to operate a particular way. And so what I did is I put

842
01:10:20.640 --> 01:10:27.760
myself in the gap between them and leadership of that, that included my boss, it included the VP,

843
01:10:28.560 --> 01:10:35.520
it included everybody. And this was at FedEx, by the way. And so I put myself in the gap,

844
01:10:36.160 --> 01:10:41.760
and I told everybody above me, if they did it, if they presented anything to me and said,

845
01:10:41.760 --> 01:10:46.640
hey, Ashley, we want you to do, we want you to tell the team to do something different.

846
01:10:46.640 --> 01:10:53.360
We want you to do, you know, we want you to change or whatever. If it was actually damaging

847
01:10:53.360 --> 01:11:00.320
and destructive to the team and the way that they operated, I told them no. Even my own boss.

848
01:11:00.320 --> 01:11:05.280
I know I didn't use that word, no. There's a diplomatic way to operate in corporate America.

849
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:12.800
But I told them no. I didn't say that word, but what I did explain was no.

850
01:11:13.840 --> 01:11:21.520
And my team watched me do that. They watched the fact that I was willing to stand in the gap

851
01:11:21.520 --> 01:11:28.560
and risk my own reputation, risk being fired, whatever, in order to protect them while

852
01:11:29.520 --> 01:11:34.720
they were not respecting me, while I was being verbally abused all day every day. And that

853
01:11:34.720 --> 01:11:41.360
is no exaggeration. You can ask anybody who worked with me. It was pretty bad. In fact,

854
01:11:41.360 --> 01:11:48.000
I think it's a really fun story of redemption. But anyway, it was very extreme. And so that was

855
01:11:48.000 --> 01:11:52.800
one of the things that gained their respect, but I had to do more. One of the other things that I

856
01:11:52.800 --> 01:11:58.320
did is, and this is why I was telling you the story, is everyone is very, it was a very democratic

857
01:11:58.320 --> 01:12:04.480
system. Everybody came up with their own ideas. So, but I had the last say. I had veto privilege

858
01:12:04.480 --> 01:12:08.800
of any ideas that they came up with, but I wanted my people to feel empowered.

859
01:12:09.920 --> 01:12:15.120
I wanted them to come up with really good ideas. I wanted the creative juices to flow because we

860
01:12:15.120 --> 01:12:19.600
were better together than we were separate. They could come up with better ideas than I could,

861
01:12:19.600 --> 01:12:24.960
and I needed, and I actually was responsible for giving them direction over things I had no idea

862
01:12:24.960 --> 01:12:30.080
what they were talking about. I mean, these are guys who were building servers, you know, building

863
01:12:30.080 --> 01:12:36.960
like cloud systems. And I'm like, I don't know what 50% of those words mean. You know, they had

864
01:12:36.960 --> 01:12:41.280
to teach me all of that so I could actually give them instruction. And so I thought, you know what,

865
01:12:41.280 --> 01:12:46.400
these people are very smart. They want to do a good job. See, that's the thing that we need to

866
01:12:46.400 --> 01:12:50.480
understand about everybody that we encounter, including children. And I keep mentioning this

867
01:12:50.480 --> 01:12:54.560
because I know y'all all have children, and also children are young, and sometimes we kind of put

868
01:12:54.560 --> 01:12:58.960
them in a different category. No, no, it doesn't matter if they're two years old or, you know, or

869
01:12:59.920 --> 01:13:06.960
whatever. Or, you know, you know, teenagers or adults or whatever. Every, you know, it,

870
01:13:07.520 --> 01:13:16.400
they're all, we're all human souls, right? And everyone needs to feel, everyone needs to feel

871
01:13:16.400 --> 01:13:21.680
empowered. Everyone needs to feel like supported, that they make good, that they make good decisions.

872
01:13:22.640 --> 01:13:28.960
So what I did is I realized, okay, everyone has, everyone has a contribution, and I need them to

873
01:13:29.520 --> 01:13:35.520
know that they have a contribution. I need them to not, they, everybody wants,

874
01:13:36.000 --> 01:13:40.560
even children, everybody wants to do the right thing. Everybody wants to,

875
01:13:42.960 --> 01:13:50.480
everyone wants to contribute and have, have a significant contribution. Everybody wants to

876
01:13:50.480 --> 01:13:56.880
come up with a good idea. People want to do well in their jobs. They want to make a difference.

877
01:13:56.880 --> 01:14:03.120
It's more important to them than time off or money. To know that you're making a difference

878
01:14:03.120 --> 01:14:08.000
in people's lives. I have yet to talk to a single person that money was their most important object

879
01:14:08.000 --> 01:14:16.000
when it came right down to it. Or time off. It was always the fact that it was always,

880
01:14:16.000 --> 01:14:22.640
it always went back to significance in some way. And they would take less pay and fewer,

881
01:14:23.920 --> 01:14:30.560
few hours, fewer hours time off. And they would work longer and harder and happier if they felt

882
01:14:30.560 --> 01:14:35.120
that they had significance. If they felt that their decisions and their, their ideas and their

883
01:14:35.120 --> 01:14:43.600
contributions were being valued. So I knew I had to foster that. No, no, everybody does. Oh my word,

884
01:14:43.600 --> 01:14:53.040
it's the basic aspect of humanity. And it's the search for significance. So if, so the way that

885
01:14:53.040 --> 01:14:59.840
you can win people over and give them what it is that they need is you can empower.

886
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.080
their their understanding that they actually are significant that they make

887
01:15:04.080 --> 01:15:07.280
good decisions so I knew I had to foster that and I thought Lord how do I do this

888
01:15:07.280 --> 01:15:17.360
because if they mess up I'm their leader what am I gonna do you know my upline

889
01:15:17.360 --> 01:15:25.200
it's gonna come to me and what do I do do I do I prevent the mistake from

890
01:15:25.200 --> 01:15:29.960
happening by always vetoing something that I fear or again this is FedEx

891
01:15:29.960 --> 01:15:34.600
corporation this is big-time this isn't some little company or it's just a

892
01:15:34.600 --> 01:15:40.280
deal and my project was being reported which very very very few projects are I

893
01:15:40.280 --> 01:15:45.480
mean you have to be a huge project a huge project to be presented to Fred

894
01:15:45.480 --> 01:15:52.440
Smith who is the founder of FedEx who is who founded a company that is now almost

895
01:15:52.440 --> 01:15:57.120
half a million people you have to be big-time our project with only 45

896
01:15:57.120 --> 01:16:02.120
people out of half a million only 45 people was being reported to Fred Smith

897
01:16:02.120 --> 01:16:06.200
I'm thinking Lord what do I do in this situation what if my people make a

898
01:16:06.200 --> 01:16:10.760
mistake what if they mess up they were messing up a project with FedEx you know

899
01:16:10.760 --> 01:16:14.720
people are gonna come and people are gonna think it was my idea Lord Lord what

900
01:16:14.720 --> 01:16:17.160
do I do what how do I handle this situation and yet make them feel

901
01:16:17.160 --> 01:16:23.000
empowered and the Lord said I'll give them a safe environment in which to in

902
01:16:23.000 --> 01:16:31.440
which they know that it is safe to make mistakes like okay so that's what I did

903
01:16:31.440 --> 01:16:35.240
and here's how I provided the environment I'd have them prove to me

904
01:16:35.240 --> 01:16:39.000
that their idea was good you know by logic they didn't have to necessarily

905
01:16:39.000 --> 01:16:42.320
prove it by going back and doing numbers and then I would watch them I knew these

906
01:16:42.320 --> 01:16:47.680
people very well very well I mean we worked very tight together in fact we

907
01:16:47.680 --> 01:16:51.440
still kind of feel like family it's really interesting and so I would I would

908
01:16:51.440 --> 01:16:55.760
just sit in one conversation with them a lot of times okay what do you think

909
01:16:55.760 --> 01:16:58.840
about this and I would just drill them on their idea because I'm thinking I

910
01:16:58.840 --> 01:17:03.040
don't know about all of this and then I would I would I would just kind of

911
01:17:03.040 --> 01:17:09.400
figure out okay they're risking their reputation in my eyes by saying that

912
01:17:09.400 --> 01:17:13.720
they believe that this idea contrary to mine is a good one and so I tell them

913
01:17:13.720 --> 01:17:16.800
you really believe that this will work they said yes we do and I said okay

914
01:17:16.800 --> 01:17:22.400
that's what we'll do and I don't even believe that that'll work but I wanted

915
01:17:22.400 --> 01:17:27.560
to empower him so I said okay then that's what we'll do sometimes a lot of

916
01:17:27.560 --> 01:17:30.760
in fact the majority of the time it worked but here's the thing what about

917
01:17:30.760 --> 01:17:36.440
when it didn't work when it didn't work I took the heat and I never told my

918
01:17:36.440 --> 01:17:42.120
upline or you know my you know my people above me my leadership I didn't

919
01:17:42.120 --> 01:17:47.440
tell them whose idea it was and that it was their ideas and not and there it was

920
01:17:47.440 --> 01:17:53.480
their idea and not mine I took full responsibility for it full they never

921
01:17:53.480 --> 01:17:58.320
knew that it was the team's idea they never knew that someone else came with

922
01:17:58.320 --> 01:18:01.600
it came up with it and that I didn't agree with it they didn't know that I

923
01:18:01.600 --> 01:18:06.760
didn't agree with it and I took the heat for it that gained their respect

924
01:18:06.760 --> 01:18:12.800
because they saw that I supported them more than the project and I supported

925
01:18:12.800 --> 01:18:18.200
them more than myself that I sacrificed myself for them and God showed me

926
01:18:18.200 --> 01:18:22.320
through things like that through having to listen to the Spirit in those moments

927
01:18:22.320 --> 01:18:28.880
oh my word this is how you be a leader you provide a space for people to be

928
01:18:28.880 --> 01:18:34.480
messy you're not providing a space in which every in which you're trying to

929
01:18:34.480 --> 01:18:38.080
control it and making sure that everything works just this just a

930
01:18:38.080 --> 01:18:45.200
particular way you're providing space for people to be messy no one's trying

931
01:18:45.200 --> 01:18:50.160
to be messy no one's trying to be destructive everyone's trying to do it

932
01:18:50.160 --> 01:18:54.400
the right way we just all disagree on how it should be done but they need to

933
01:18:54.400 --> 01:19:00.800
be supported for who it is that they are not whether regardless of whether

934
01:19:00.800 --> 01:19:05.320
you think that theirs is a good decision or not they need to be supported as

935
01:19:05.320 --> 01:19:11.400
themselves and now again we're not talking about anything that's extremely

936
01:19:11.400 --> 01:19:15.080
destructive like if the child wants to go play it with a knife and we're not

937
01:19:15.080 --> 01:19:19.520
we're not talking about that so I'm again you know you can understand how to

938
01:19:19.520 --> 01:19:22.720
apply all of these things in your various areas of life you take it for

939
01:19:22.720 --> 01:19:27.640
the Lord and and and ask him I'm talking about things from a very high

940
01:19:27.640 --> 01:19:33.440
level very broad brushstrokes and I just used this the my particular business

941
01:19:33.440 --> 01:19:42.640
situation as an example but anyway if the leader provides a space for other

942
01:19:42.640 --> 01:19:49.760
people to safely feel supported and discover who it is that they are and a

943
01:19:49.760 --> 01:19:56.920
lot in and I can guarantee you that everybody who comes to you everybody has

944
01:19:56.920 --> 01:20:01.520
not grown up in a home

945
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.920
or in some kind of an environment where they felt fully supported to be able to

946
01:20:05.920 --> 01:20:11.240
make mistakes. In other words, to try something because they thought it was

947
01:20:11.240 --> 01:20:16.280
right and for it to be okay if they were wrong and that they were still protected

948
01:20:16.280 --> 01:20:22.440
in the middle of that situation. It doesn't mean that they don't

949
01:20:22.440 --> 01:20:26.920
bear the consequences. They can still bear the consequences, but you're there

950
01:20:26.920 --> 01:20:32.040
before the consequences and you're there with them during the consequences that

951
01:20:32.040 --> 01:20:38.560
they're having to bear. It's not keeping consequences from them. That's not what I

952
01:20:38.560 --> 01:20:43.480
mean when I talk about or when I'm talking about providing a safe

953
01:20:43.480 --> 01:20:48.960
environment for them to make mistakes, but it's allowing the

954
01:20:48.960 --> 01:20:57.640
consequences to not be as destructive in their lives as it would be and for

955
01:20:57.640 --> 01:21:03.800
them to be in isolation and abandonment as they would be if they were outside

956
01:21:03.800 --> 01:21:09.120
your environment. You have the opportunity to create that type of

957
01:21:09.120 --> 01:21:14.920
environment for someone where it is safe for them to be. It's safe for

958
01:21:14.920 --> 01:21:21.480
them to make mistakes. It's safe for them to show their true self and to

959
01:21:21.480 --> 01:21:28.160
be vulnerable and to be genuine. It's providing a safe environment for

960
01:21:28.160 --> 01:21:35.480
someone to finally open up and be real and voice their opinion and be seen and

961
01:21:35.480 --> 01:21:40.800
be heard and not be judged. It doesn't mean they have to agree with it, but to not be

962
01:21:40.800 --> 01:21:45.040
judged for it and to know that they're supported for who they are regardless

963
01:21:45.040 --> 01:21:49.360
of whether or not you agree with it. That if that's what they want to do and if

964
01:21:49.360 --> 01:21:52.840
that's what they think is going to be good for their business or good

965
01:21:52.840 --> 01:21:57.720
for their life or whatever, that you support them and who they are. Everyone's

966
01:21:57.720 --> 01:22:03.600
trying to do the right thing. We all just disagree on what we think that

967
01:22:03.600 --> 01:22:08.040
the right thing is for ourselves or for other people. We need to give people

968
01:22:08.160 --> 01:22:15.040
the space to, I always just think of it as the space to be messy, to play. Children

969
01:22:15.040 --> 01:22:21.800
play. When you watch children, they play and they do the strangest things.

970
01:22:21.800 --> 01:22:26.840
You're thinking, yeah, but that's not how you play with that.

971
01:22:26.840 --> 01:22:30.840
An elephant, they're playing with like a stuffed elephant or something

972
01:22:30.840 --> 01:22:34.720
like that and they're putting doll clothes on it. No, no, no, you don't do

973
01:22:34.720 --> 01:22:40.160
that. You don't do that. You know, animals don't wear clothes. No, they're

974
01:22:40.160 --> 01:22:47.120
exploring their world. They're trying. So it's that kind of a thing. If it works

975
01:22:47.120 --> 01:22:50.440
like that for children, why do we think that it doesn't work like that is an

976
01:22:50.440 --> 01:22:54.960
adult? In other areas, you're just trying. In business, you're trying different

977
01:22:54.960 --> 01:23:00.160
ideas. Have grace for yourself. God provides a safe environment for you in

978
01:23:00.160 --> 01:23:07.520
order to have a playground, in order to enjoy the journey and just

979
01:23:07.520 --> 01:23:11.960
play on the playground. He provides that safe environment for you. So even if you

980
01:23:11.960 --> 01:23:14.800
don't have someone who's providing an environment for you the way that I'm

981
01:23:14.800 --> 01:23:18.840
describing for you, you'd have an environment for them. God provides that

982
01:23:18.840 --> 01:23:25.960
for you. He never leaves us in a place of abandonment and lack. Just

983
01:23:26.240 --> 01:23:31.160
like God will do for us, we're intended to do for others. The fact that we

984
01:23:31.160 --> 01:23:36.440
also help them by doing what we can, especially if you've got like

985
01:23:36.440 --> 01:23:41.360
children or something like that where you have a bit of a bit of control,

986
01:23:41.360 --> 01:23:47.840
prevent anything from happening that would be too destructive. God does the

987
01:23:47.840 --> 01:23:52.400
same thing for us. He provides us with an ability to play in the playground, but if

988
01:23:52.440 --> 01:23:58.840
we start testing the boundaries too much, he's like, uh-uh.

989
01:23:58.840 --> 01:24:03.080
He doesn't really come down hard on us, but he does

990
01:24:03.080 --> 01:24:09.040
just what he has to do to knock us into, oh yeah, I shouldn't do that.

991
01:24:09.040 --> 01:24:14.680
We do the same thing, obviously, for our children. If a child

992
01:24:14.680 --> 01:24:19.440
is about to stick their finger in the light socket, we don't just

993
01:24:19.440 --> 01:24:22.480
talk to him very gently and say, please don't do that. You know what, that's

994
01:24:22.480 --> 01:24:26.800
really not a good idea. What do you do? You go snatch him away, you know, just

995
01:24:26.800 --> 01:24:30.960
really fast. You do what you have to do when something is going to be too

996
01:24:30.960 --> 01:24:36.400
destructive, but you're trying to save them. But we don't control every

997
01:24:36.400 --> 01:24:40.360
aspect of what it is that they're doing, just like God doesn't control. He allows

998
01:24:40.360 --> 01:24:45.320
us to play and to mess with stuff and explore our world. We're supposed

999
01:24:45.320 --> 01:24:49.120
to govern it anyway. We're supposed to govern it. How on earth can we expect to

1000
01:24:49.120 --> 01:24:52.720
govern it if we don't explore it and we don't understand it and we don't

1001
01:24:52.720 --> 01:24:57.680
understand all of its inner workings? It's ours. We own it. We get to play with it.

1002
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.940
Anyway, let me see if there is something else that I didn't explain. So, yeah, so

1003
01:25:07.940 --> 01:25:12.240
in being able to hold space for other people, even if they're even and

1004
01:25:12.240 --> 01:25:23.240
especially if they're struggling with their brokenness, it is, yeah, there's

1005
01:25:23.240 --> 01:25:26.700
more that I could say about all of that, but in holding space for them, remember

1006
01:25:26.700 --> 01:25:34.580
that it requires that there's, it's going to be messy as they shift and as they

1007
01:25:34.580 --> 01:25:42.100
transition in things. So, we can have approval for our children when they're

1008
01:25:42.100 --> 01:25:45.660
young and we can provide them with this, if we can understand how to provide a

1009
01:25:45.660 --> 01:25:48.500
safe environment. I'm talking about, you know, transition. It doesn't have to be

1010
01:25:48.500 --> 01:25:53.440
children, but children's easier for us to talk about in this, in this instance. Say,

1011
01:25:53.440 --> 01:25:56.500
for instance, you know, we can give, we can give understanding and approval for

1012
01:25:56.500 --> 01:26:00.040
our children to be messy in their play and in their decision-making and then

1013
01:26:00.040 --> 01:26:02.640
they're trying and they're kind of exploring things, they're trying to figure

1014
01:26:02.640 --> 01:26:05.640
things out. No one's trying to do anything to hurt themselves, you know,

1015
01:26:05.640 --> 01:26:09.520
whatever. We can do that, but then we have a very difficult time as they get older,

1016
01:26:09.520 --> 01:26:15.200
getting, as they get older, understanding how to provide approval in a new way.

1017
01:26:15.200 --> 01:26:22.680
Providing, how do you now provide approval and a space for them to be

1018
01:26:22.680 --> 01:26:28.340
messy as a teenager? Not the same kind of messy that was okay when they were a

1019
01:26:28.340 --> 01:26:35.260
child, but still a teenager version of messy that's not too destructive, but how

1020
01:26:35.260 --> 01:26:39.700
do you provide approval there? And then, how do you provide approval for those

1021
01:26:39.700 --> 01:26:44.380
same, for those same children? And again, I'm just using children as an example,

1022
01:26:44.380 --> 01:26:47.220
but it's the same if you're working with anybody else and they're working through

1023
01:26:47.240 --> 01:26:53.760
a transition in which they're learning how to operate differently. That, how do

1024
01:26:53.760 --> 01:27:00.720
you now provide approval to adult children? Everything is going to go

1025
01:27:00.720 --> 01:27:04.600
through, you know, there's, it's a different type of approval and yet it's

1026
01:27:04.600 --> 01:27:12.440
still approval. How do you provide approval or how do you provide space for

1027
01:27:12.460 --> 01:27:18.860
people to be messy? Not that they're trying to be messy, but in exploring

1028
01:27:18.860 --> 01:27:22.580
their world, trying to do the thing, to the right thing, expand their boundaries,

1029
01:27:22.580 --> 01:27:27.460
learning the world, exploring the world, learning about it so that they can

1030
01:27:27.460 --> 01:27:33.060
eventually govern it. How do you now do that for them now that they are adults?

1031
01:27:33.060 --> 01:27:40.700
Every phase is different and yet every phase requires holding space for them to

1032
01:27:40.720 --> 01:27:46.400
be messy while still offering them support and approval. It just now looks

1033
01:27:46.400 --> 01:27:52.280
different and for us as the leaders, that type of transition is, is, is a bit

1034
01:27:52.280 --> 01:27:57.000
challenging, but that's what we're called to do. Same thing for customers, same

1035
01:27:57.000 --> 01:28:01.000
thing as the customers go through phases or as your team members go through

1036
01:28:01.000 --> 01:28:05.520
phases and go through transitions of maturing in their, in their art or in

1037
01:28:05.520 --> 01:28:11.580
their industry or whatever. It's whole, it's learning to, learning to mature the

1038
01:28:11.580 --> 01:28:18.340
space that you hold for them and to allow them to become and develop into

1039
01:28:18.340 --> 01:28:23.140
the person that God intends them to be and the journey doesn't always look

1040
01:28:23.140 --> 01:28:29.820
pretty. It's not always, doesn't always have no mistakes in it. It's always gonna

1041
01:28:29.820 --> 01:28:36.560
have mistakes, but you hold, hold space for them and, and provide the

1042
01:28:36.560 --> 01:28:41.700
opportunity for them to do it because other people provide emotional space for

1043
01:28:41.700 --> 01:28:46.500
them if needed and which really emotional and spiritual space for them

1044
01:28:46.500 --> 01:28:49.820
to do it because you're seeing them for who it is that they truly are, not for

1045
01:28:49.820 --> 01:28:52.140
the brokenness that they're in which they're presenting themselves and

1046
01:28:52.140 --> 01:28:56.700
they're trying new things and whatever. Hold space for them and give them an

1047
01:28:56.700 --> 01:29:02.420
environment in order for them to be emotionally safe from abandonment as

1048
01:29:02.420 --> 01:29:07.620
they learn more about the world that God created that them to govern and more

1049
01:29:07.620 --> 01:29:11.700
about themselves as they're exploring themselves, as they're trying to

1050
01:29:11.700 --> 01:29:18.060
understand themselves just as God provides the same space for us. So I know

1051
01:29:18.060 --> 01:29:22.220
it was a bit of a longer one. I had no idea what time it is. I think it's 1015.

1052
01:29:22.220 --> 01:29:29.740
So I started it... I'll say it's 1015. Wow! I think it's been gone. Maybe I've been

1053
01:29:29.740 --> 01:29:33.220
talking for about two hours, 15 minutes. My goodness, it's a bit of a longer one. You

1054
01:29:33.220 --> 01:29:37.100
could tell I'm very passionate about this subject. So I hope this was

1055
01:29:37.100 --> 01:29:45.860
helpful and, and I enjoyed that this was our, that of all topics, this is the

1056
01:29:45.860 --> 01:29:48.620
one that we would end on. I guess that's why it was two hours because I'm like, oh

1057
01:29:48.620 --> 01:29:52.180
my word, there's so much to pack into this last one, but we'll continue to

1058
01:29:52.180 --> 01:29:56.660
talk about some new subjects as we go along. Always love being with y'all and

1059
01:29:56.660 --> 01:30:01.940
always reach out if y'all have any questions. I'll look forward to...

1060
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.800
more private sessions with y'all and I hope y'all have a good night. Bye!