WEBVTT

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Hi you guys. I just wanted to come on here and do my journey share for the

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week. Last week together I just experienced something very very

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troublesome today. Very hard things today. Two things. First one is that I

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wanted to share with you. The first one was that a friend that I'm leading to

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Christ speaking to about God and talking to regularly wrote me in a text

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and said in my opinion I felt like she was accusing me saying that oh you judge

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me you're saying these things and I she said you I feel you've wronged me and

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this and this is what you're saying about me and things that I don't feel

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like I have said and that she was judging me for the way that I've been

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in our relationship and I'm sure that I have done wrong things on this way and

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maybe she's right it's about some of them but I feel like all the time I've

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been open with her and tried to share Christ with love and wisdom and that

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I've always been asking her how she feels along the way and said that I

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definitely have blind spots I don't want to hurt you and I've taken responsibility

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for the things that I see that I have done wrong so this came kind of like

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felt like an attack in some of the things that she said I don't really

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recognize or agree with this part of who I am oh so that rattled me and then

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now I just met a friend a good friend in town and she said that she was hurt by

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me and very hurt by me about something that I said and did but she doesn't

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really want to talk about it and she doesn't want to go through it really and

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I said well we can talk about it we can work it out um I really want to make

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things right and I'm sorry if I hurt you and I'm sure we can talk through these

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things we just need a few a few talks and then she doesn't want to and then I

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tried again are you sure you don't want to talk about it and I was like I don't

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even know what I did wrong and then she now you're overstepping my boundaries I

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tried to set a boundaries and you're pushing me and and she says I'm so

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shaken and I feel really really bad and I didn't really understand what what

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happened and I all I could do was like I'm so sorry did not mean to hurt you I

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didn't know that I was overstepping your boundaries I'm sorry if you don't

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want to talk about it we don't have to and she says well the damage is already

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done and Norm and then so suddenly I see like a good friend she says now I'm

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gonna pull away from you and she said that and I don't yeah and I thought okay

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so you think the friendship is over and I'm not gonna have the chance to to make

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right to you if I've hurt you so both these two things happen today and I feel

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really I feel a bit rattled and I feel definitely like the like my soul is

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being under attack and at the same time I also I feel also somehow protected and

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in rest it's weird as if I'm having this shield of protection around me and no

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deep deep inside of me I have a feeling like maybe it's not about me maybe it's

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something that they have to walk through in their own lives or I don't

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think that I actually have done something wrong that it's not fixable to

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them so and I kind of normally I would go into heavy shame and condemnation if

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something like this happened and blame myself and try to figure out and

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definitely overanalyze the situation and try to confess to every sin and

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everything and now I kind of part of me is feeling rest like and I hear the

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whisper of the Lord just saying I love you you're beautiful to me you don't

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have to defend yourself

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you are protected, your soul is protected, your body is protected, you can rest in

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me, I will tell you if there's something that you've wronged someone with and

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then that you need to talk to them about and you don't have to analyze, you don't

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have to fix this problem, you don't even have to go into all the details of what

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you said and what I said and oh maybe I should have done this or maybe I should

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have done that, you can just let it go and rest and because I'm taking care of

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it and I'm protecting you and you're safe, your soul is safe, your body is safe

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even though you feel a bit shaken up and rattled, you're safe. So I immediately

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thought oh this is oh I need the rest group and I want to tell you because it

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is hard and I feel my soul is shaken and at the same time I feel the goodness of

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God and him affirming me even though I don't even know what is what or how to

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feel or how to respond to this or what's gonna happen to these two friendships, I

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have no idea. So I just thank you for being there, thank you that I can come

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and share and you guys understand. So it feels like it's hard and at the same

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time it's like a victory and yes I just want to share that with you. Thanks so

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much again for being there and that I could share my heart with you. Talk to

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you later!