WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.119
Hello! So I wanted to come on here while I was thinking about this and had a minute to

2
00:00:08.119 --> 00:00:16.379
share. But the last few days have been interesting, to say the least. I had a good transformation

3
00:00:16.379 --> 00:00:24.000
call with Ashley and just some of the things she encouraged me to do. But I was just driving

4
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:31.120
and I realized, I'm probably going to sound crazy. I may be like a heretic, I don't even

5
00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:39.120
know. But I feel like I'm always, or I've always kind of been like, I'm just trying

6
00:00:39.120 --> 00:00:46.240
to keep myself alive. I'm just trying to keep myself from God killing me. You know, by my

7
00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:53.920
actions and natural health and this and that and it's my responsibility and all this stuff.

8
00:00:53.920 --> 00:01:03.920
This is probably what's going to sound crazy. Just now I was like, He needs me here. And

9
00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:14.000
it feels strange to even say that, but it's like, He needs me here. Because I'm a point

10
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:21.200
of contact where God meets this earth and dwells and lives inside of me as, like, this

11
00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:30.000
is now the temple, you know, like, the Ark of the Covenant, like, that's me, that's you,

12
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:36.320
that's all of us. And I feel like I have just taken the mentality of like, I'm just trying

13
00:01:36.320 --> 00:01:40.880
to keep myself alive. And He just, you know, barely wants me to survive until the good

14
00:01:40.880 --> 00:01:47.920
bye and bye and, you know, all this stuff. And I'm just like, what if we could see it

15
00:01:48.000 --> 00:01:54.000
as this thing of like, He needs me here and not like this prideful, like, I'm so great,

16
00:01:54.000 --> 00:02:02.800
He needs me here. But like, saw it as like, He needs us here. Because like, if we're not here,

17
00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:08.240
then how is God brought to this earth? And I've heard Tommy Miller talk about this.

18
00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:17.520
But it just, it's like, it just hit me. Like, He needs me. He needs me here to influence my family

19
00:02:17.600 --> 00:02:24.000
and my child and my spouse and the relationships that I have, the person I see at the grocery

20
00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:30.240
store. It's like, actually, I says like, creation is waiting for the manifestation of the sons of

21
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:40.240
God. And it's like, it's like, I'm constantly just like, don't take me. I'm not ready. But

22
00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:46.960
I'm not living, you know, to the point where it's just like, coming to this realization of like,

23
00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:54.720
He needs me here. And it's not even on me. Like, maybe need isn't the right word, but it's like,

24
00:02:57.920 --> 00:03:02.720
I only get to have this relationship with Him here on this side of heaven, you know, like,

25
00:03:05.760 --> 00:03:11.760
and you know, He put me here, I'm the center of His universe, like,

26
00:03:12.720 --> 00:03:15.440
and all of these things. And it's like, it just hit me like,

27
00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:24.640
He needs me here. And I don't think that He just wants me barely making it my whole life.

28
00:03:26.640 --> 00:03:34.320
And just barely getting through and just in trauma and hurt, pain, all of these things.

29
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:45.440
My whole life, it's like, He needs me here to manifest like, who it is that He's put me here

30
00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:54.160
to be and not to just exist. And maybe I'll never do anything great. You know, maybe

31
00:03:54.480 --> 00:04:07.680
maybe I'll never be anyone like, famous or like, you know, I don't know. But that just

32
00:04:08.240 --> 00:04:13.760
like, He needs us here. Like, and it's not just this thing of like,

33
00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:20.560
if I do this wrong or that wrong, or don't do this right or that right,

34
00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:25.440
like He's going to take me from this earth, you know, like, that He actually was like,

35
00:04:25.440 --> 00:04:34.080
I want to stay here for this time in the world. Like, and I need her to manifest who she is.

36
00:04:35.520 --> 00:04:44.640
So that I can, you know, live through her in that way. So this all just happened. So obviously,

37
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:54.240
I'm still kind of like, processing what that means. But

38
00:04:58.080 --> 00:04:59.840
I also had a dream I told

39
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.080
Ashley this yesterday, but I'm a dream the other night and I

40
00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:08.120
Was like I dream a lot

41
00:05:10.320 --> 00:05:17.760
That's always pleasant and even in this dream I was having unpleasant dreams, but I remember this very small moment

42
00:05:18.440 --> 00:05:24.520
In this dream where I felt like the word was that he said to me all that matters to sleep

43
00:05:25.520 --> 00:05:32.480
Is your hobbies and your relationships, that's all that matters in life are those two things

44
00:05:34.440 --> 00:05:38.460
And I just it was just a very small thing and I just remember being like how can that be

45
00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:42.360
like all that matters is if I pursue hobbies and

46
00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:46.080
love the people in my life like

47
00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:51.080
So, I don't know if that resonates with anybody else

48
00:05:51.080 --> 00:05:53.080
But

49
00:05:53.880 --> 00:05:55.880
Here I am rolling room

50
00:05:57.200 --> 00:06:02.480
So hope you guys are having a good day and obviously I have more processing to do with all of this

51
00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:09.440
I feel like it was kind of a good realization to me to be like, oh, I'm not just here

52
00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:17.600
To be miserable and to smiley and to punish and to work out all these horrible things in me

53
00:06:17.600 --> 00:06:19.600
Like that's not why I'm here

54
00:06:20.200 --> 00:06:22.200
He needs me

55
00:06:27.200 --> 00:06:29.200
Love y'all