WEBVTT

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Hi, I'm just about to walk inside.

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I just went up for a walk.

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So I'm just entering my front door in like 30 seconds.

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Now I'll just mute myself.

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Don't you do things like, um, like you do like cold, like water

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immersions and like apparently cold walks and cold.

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I do.

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Um, I usually do swim 365 days out of the year, but I've been

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sick, so I haven't done it the past week.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So just, yeah.

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Well, did you do any of the Wim Hof stuff?

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Um, I didn't get into that.

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Some of, uh, some of the guys that I swim with do that.

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And they're just like, they are obsessed and they love it.

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And, um, I don't know.

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It makes me dizzy.

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I'm just like, no.

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Yeah.

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I think I'm just going to go swim, you know, like that's fine.

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But that's incredible because I would imagine it would be so cool.

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Yeah.

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And that's the thing.

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So it's only about the breathing and I think that's why they do the Wim Hof

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thing is just to like, get ready to get in the water and not freak out

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and just continue to breathe.

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But I'm like, well, I think there's, I mean, yeah.

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Yeah.

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Well, I take, I take cold showers and people think I'm crazy.

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I mean, it's good to gain, to teach you, to gain control of yourself again,

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kind of like the, the, um, exercise I talk about in session for the kingship

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and releasing exercises about like where you're learning the whole point of it

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is to teach you, you know, to just focus, to teach you that you are, or remind us,

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you know, that we are, we govern our thoughts.

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We're not victim to our feelings or what happens to us or the thoughts that come

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at us, we can actually roll over them.

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We don't have to be threatened by them.

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But one of the ways that I began to practice that about the same time that I

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began to practice the, the exercise that I give everybody, you know, about the

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visual of like a blank screen, you know, or black blackness with like a dot that,

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you know, I think of as light and I think of as Jesus and all of that.

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Uh, in order for me to learn, to rule my thoughts, what I also began to do at the

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same time is take cold showers.

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And that really began to teach me how to, how to, uh, that I was,

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how to rule over my own body.

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Over the physical experience that was threatening to overwhelm me.

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And, uh, and I began to do it actually, because I heard it was so good to,

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um, fight inflammation, which you really have a lot of inflammation

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when you wake up in the morning.

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And, and you really want all that.

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You really want to prompt your body to drain it.

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And, uh, and so anyway, that's how I started.

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But when I did it, I was also hearing that it's really, it's a really good

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exercise to teach you to rule over.

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And I was learning this from non-Christians to rule over your own, you know, your

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own, um, physical experience so that, you know, that you're not victim to

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or subject to what happens to you.

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So anyway, um, uh, I just knew that most people think that I'm crazy because of

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that, but normally if I hear someone like swimming in sub zero, what, uh, you

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know, uh, a water or whatever, I'm, I naturally think, oh, they probably

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learned that from Wim Hof.

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Yeah, no, it is.

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It is a big thing.

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And everybody loves Wim Hof.

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And I think it's interesting learning this cause I was just re, um, I was out

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walking and I was listening to session five again.

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And, um, so, so that's interesting too, cause that's kind of like living, I

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don't know where that is living from, if that is like living from like the body

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where, cause I guess he's known for like being so long in cold water and the way

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he breathes and everything like deceased doesn't stick to his body, you know?

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It's kind of like, so, so I don't think it's from the spirit, you know?

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But it's like, yeah, similar to like the law of attraction and the fact that it's

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a non-Christian who's discovered a principle by which God intended all humans

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to be able to operate because he intended all humans to choose him as, as their

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father, but yeah.

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It's the non-believers that a lot of times have discovered,

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oh, God has given us this gift and this ability to,

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and this position in creation to plow over it,

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to have dominion.

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But it's sometimes the non-Christians

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who are trying to take advantage of it,

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but they're taking advantage of it

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from a man-centric, egocentric perspective.

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So in other words, it's the wrong source.

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It's the tree of knowledge of good and evil

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instead of the tree of life.

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So it's not so much, again,

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just like Jesus explained to the Pharisees,

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it's not the action that's the problem.

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It's the source from which the action comes.

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And if you have the right source,

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then there are certain actions you just flat out won't do.

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And then there are other actions that you can do,

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and you could be doing them in the spirit,

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or you could be doing them out of the spirit.

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And it takes the discernment of the Lord

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to know the difference from which the,

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and the source from which the action is coming,

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as opposed to just judging something by the action.

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It's not, it's the heart.

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And yes, there are certain actions

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that if you're doing it from the heart of God,

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you flat out won't do.

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So you can't judge simply by the action for everything.

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So anyway, yeah, no, you're absolutely right.

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So I was just curious

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if you've had done any of the Wim Hof stuff.

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So I haven't, I've heard him be interviewed,

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and I was like, oh, this is interesting,

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that he can do that,

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that he can actually put sub-zero water,

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and he can hold his body temperature.

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That's wild, you know?

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Because he's having diminished, you know,

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but he's not doing it from the right spirit, it seems like.

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I don't want to judge it.

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But yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I don't know.

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He's doing it from God.

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Yeah, and I have no idea.

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Yeah, yeah, I haven't gotten really into it.

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I've tried it, as I said, but I got really dizzy,

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and I'm like, well, it's just too much work.

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Like, I'm not going to do that.

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Yeah, I know, I had the same thing

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with some of that breath work.

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I'm like, this is just, this is a lot.

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Yeah, oh my God.

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I get dizzy too.

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Yeah.

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Well, I was just curious, so I'm like,

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I don't know many people who swim in sub-zero weather,

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you know, or sub-zero weather or sub-zero water.

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And I'm like, I bet you that she's, you know,

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well, at least I know that she's discovered

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the benefits of, you know, of, you know, the cold,

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you know, on the body,

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how it can actually be very healing,

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physical healing to the body.

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So anyway, have you ever been with her, Renata?

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I don't know, I had some years

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that I did the cold finish of the shower.

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Oh, yeah.

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And I did that for years.

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Like, I would end every shower with a cold shower.

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And I think that was really good.

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And then a couple of years ago, I kind of stopped.

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I don't know why, but I think it was good.

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Like just the end of the shower

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with just like really like pretty cold water.

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So now I'm just like, oh, I should start doing that again.

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That was probably pretty good for my body.

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I've noticed a huge, huge difference in my health

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by doing it, strictly because they say

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that inflammation is the root of so much disease

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is because if there's inflammation in the body,

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it's either holding a disease in

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and trying to so-called fight it with inflammation

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and it becomes chronic.

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That's the problem.

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There's nothing wrong with how God created the body

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to inflame in order to deal with the problem.

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It's when the body, you know, holds it as a chronic form

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and in any way.

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And so sometimes you have to begin to instruct the body.

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Okay, there's a time for it.

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Okay, that's great.

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Now let it go.

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And you have to kind of instruct it.

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Okay, don't hold on to it.

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And it has made a world of difference in my,

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not my weight, but in my, well, I'm sure my weight as well

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because obviously it'll hold on to water.

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I'm sorry, it's telling me my, I need to plug in my phone,

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but it'll hold water.

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And then you can have, you know,

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your scale is showing water weight.

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But for me, the biggest difference that I discovered

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is it would make my, I would go up at least one,

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if not two sizes.

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Well, maybe just one, but that's a lot.

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That's all, it takes a lot of water,

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especially for someone as tall as me to hold that,

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to hold so much water that it changes my clothing size,

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an entire size, you know?

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So I've noticed that I can gain weight

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without having as much,

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I can gain more weight now without going up a size

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than I used to, simply because I'm keeping

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my inflammation down, which I find fascinating.

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So anyway, that encourages me maybe

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to start doing that again.

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Now I'm like, I have to think about all the positive.

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physical benefits that you guys mentioned.

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Yeah, it is.

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So anyway, I have to talk about that.

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So how are y'all doing?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I'm good.

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Yeah.

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I'm doing good.

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I find I'm a bit frustrated.

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Well, I find that I'm frustrated

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and I can't pinpoint what it is.

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Yeah.

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So I think that's where I am.

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I mean, there's a lot of things going on

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on like so many different levels.

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So, but I think listening to the session five again today,

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it's like, I really want to live from that spirit realm.

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You know, like that's where I want to be in everything.

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So I have a new job and it's like so chaotic.

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And I don't know,

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the way God speaks to me,

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he won't let me know, like see the full picture

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cause I'll probably run ahead, you know, like so,

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but it doesn't.

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So he told me that the last job I had,

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that I would exit cause I had a temporary position

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and he said, you'll exit, you'll exit that job.

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You'll exit that company from that job.

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Okay.

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This is like a whole long story

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about like going to the States

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and I won't go into like all of that,

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but Renato knows, like in March last year,

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he told me when I was crying my endless tears

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going back from LA the nth time, you know,

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and just like, oh, I have to give up America, it's my dream.

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And then he's like, he told me,

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I'm not asking you to give up your dream,

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I'm asking you to surrender.

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And so I feel like last year,

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it's all been like on a journey,

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which Renato knows as well,

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of like trying to surrender, you know?

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And I think that's how she encouraged me

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to be a part of this because there's still something.

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So I feel like I'm supposed to be where I am right now,

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but I don't think it's for long.

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I feel like there's gonna be like a sudden shift,

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but I have no idea what it's about.

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And I don't know that there is,

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but I find myself being frustrated

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and trying to shift into rest and like, okay,

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well now I'm stressed

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cause it's all these things that I don't know.

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And then I'm like, how can I live from the spirit

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and get knowledge on how to solve these problems?

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And at the same time, just like trying to think,

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okay, God, you placed me here for this time.

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Like, how can I serve?

253
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How can I like, what are you asking?

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Like, why am I here?

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And at the same time being like,

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Jesus, please let me leave.

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I want to, like you were talking about,

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the purpose is not this and this and this,

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it's about being loved and like being in the union.

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And so, yeah.

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I think my frustration, which is at my core,

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which Renata knows is that I feel like

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I'm just not satisfied,

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which maybe I'd mentioned that before,

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but it's like, I just don't feel like

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I'm wherever I'm supposed to be, wherever that is.

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And I don't know how to like let that go.

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Because then I know,

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oh, I have to let that go to be able to,

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so I think I become like a pinball machine,

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where it's like, I have this,

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I used to have this expectation

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of what I thought my life would look like.

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And now it's kind of like, I've lost that.

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So I don't feel like I'm holding on

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to like this dream or something,

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but I still have this discontent,

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where I'm just like, ah, there has to be more to life.

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Like this is just not very exciting.

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So that's like a one part of it.

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And then with regards to like my dad passing,

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there's like probably a court case coming up with,

283
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it has to do with entrapment.

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And so there's like a lawsuit towards this one person.

285
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And so there too, I'm like,

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oh, how do I operate from the spirit in this?

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Because I've definitely been like

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mainly living body and soul.

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So I've been like, that's me.

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I mean, some part of it, I think like I tap into it

291
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and I like wanna like live,

292
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I'd like to think that I am,

293
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but I've definitely been a lot of like,

294
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oh, I'm breaking this and generational curses

295
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and blah, blah, blah.

296
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So, and as you say, it works, but it's a lot of work.

297
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So I think I've just like, at one point,

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I've just been like, you know what?

299
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I'm just gonna, I'm tired.

300
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I'm just like giving up.

301
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I'm done.

302
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Like I can't anymore.

303
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So, yeah.

304
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So I think I'm still where I'm like,

305
00:14:56.920 --> 00:15:00.120
oh, I'm done, but I just wanna have this exciting life.

306
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:04.480
I know God has for me and I don't know how to access it because it doesn't feel like the life

307
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I'm living right now, even though I'm super grateful for so many things. So yeah, I think

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that's summed up where, where I am. Yeah. Well, those are some really, like I said,

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you know, I think I've told you this before, you know, you, you are very insightful of what's

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going on. It's a dissatisfaction of, you know, you're just like, but, but then we,

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we condemn ourselves for being dissatisfied. You know, like what we talked about last time,

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oh my word, but God gives me so many great opportunities and so many gifts and I should

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be grateful. And so we're trying to talk ourselves out of it, but there's something in us that's

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dissatisfied and there's, and what I think is important for us to realize is, or distinguish

315
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is the difference between dissatisfied, because there's an aspect of dissatisfaction that's

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actually, that's actually Godly. That's actually the fact that there, that our spirit and who it

317
00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:16.720
is, that we are is more than what we're experiencing. And so that dissatisfaction

318
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kind of draws us and leads us into the more that we were created for the more that God put out

319
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there to be able to experience an environment in which to be able to engage in and whatever,

320
00:16:28.880 --> 00:16:37.520
and to create the dissatisfaction of just like, you know, there's a soulish dissatisfaction

321
00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:42.160
that we have to obviously be aware of, which is what we always try to be so conscious of.

322
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And we just label all dissatisfaction as being from the soul. Well, this is probably just wrong

323
00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:54.240
at me and this is just bad. Yeah, but why, but it's important for us to distinguish the difference

324
00:16:54.240 --> 00:17:00.240
in the dissatisfaction. So my point to you is, I believe that your dissatisfaction is actually

325
00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:06.000
indicative of the fact that you are meant for more. You're meant for more than what you're

326
00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:10.720
experiencing right now. You're meant for more than the environment in which you're in. There's

327
00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:18.480
aspects of yourself that are not being, that are not being allowed to be expressed

328
00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:26.480
in where you are, but it doesn't mean that you're not where God wants you to be. It just means that

329
00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:33.200
it's not a bad thing for you to be. It's not indicative as something bad or something negative

330
00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:38.480
or, or wrong or selfish or soulful within you, like a negative soulful. There's nothing wrong

331
00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:51.520
with our soul, but a negative, a negative soulful soul, soulish fear. And anyway, so it's,

332
00:17:52.320 --> 00:17:57.120
I think that what you're, you're experiencing, like I said, is that you really are, is this,

333
00:17:57.120 --> 00:18:04.960
this awareness and this, this connection somewhere out there with the fact that God intended you for

334
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:10.240
more, created you for more. It's almost like this space that's out there to be filled and

335
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:17.280
you're meant for that. And so anyway, I say all that as an encouragement to not get frustrated

336
00:18:17.280 --> 00:18:23.840
with yourself as if, oh, well, I should be satisfied and I'm not, and Lord, I'm so sorry.

337
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:30.400
But to view it in the proper context of, okay, if I am meant for more, but I'm here, why,

338
00:18:31.360 --> 00:18:38.720
why would God make the more and intend me for more and basically make the bigger or be able to

339
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:43.840
expand into more than what I'm being allowed to expand into? It's almost like you feel root bound.

340
00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:50.160
It's like, yeah, but I'm like, I'm like pushing against the boundaries here. And it's obviously

341
00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:56.640
because there are certain things in you that are to be developed, to be able to handle and hold

342
00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:00.880
that, which you're going to move into, because think of a Prince or whatever, and God uses this

343
00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:08.320
example in scripture. He says an heir, you know, or a Prince is intended to rule, but until he

344
00:19:08.320 --> 00:19:15.520
can, until he's mature enough, he has to be governed by, he has to be taught by tutors and

345
00:19:15.520 --> 00:19:22.560
governors. It doesn't mean that the tutors and governors have, have the, the, the right to rule

346
00:19:22.560 --> 00:19:28.480
the kingdom. The Prince does, but he can't do it yet. So, and the, and the thing isn't that he's

347
00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:35.360
childish. The thing is that he doesn't know, and he doesn't have the stability that is needed

348
00:19:35.360 --> 00:19:44.160
in order to catch and to hold and to protect and to cover that which he was intended to rule.

349
00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:49.440
Because with a rulership comes a tremendous amount of responsibility. So there are aspects of the,

350
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:55.200
of the creation that you were intended, you know, and of like a, like in the future, the way that

351
00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:59.760
it might express itself as a particular job that you'll have, a particular people that you'll be over

352
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.520
that you'll be in relationship with, whether in a church

353
00:20:03.520 --> 00:20:07.120
or personally or professionally, that there's

354
00:20:07.120 --> 00:20:12.160
a way in which you're intended to bring the kingdom of God in.

355
00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:15.880
And the hard part is, if you're intended to rule them,

356
00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:18.280
it means that they're messy.

357
00:20:18.280 --> 00:20:24.240
And that is really hard to rule and to cover and to guide

358
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:28.120
and to be a safe place for people who are so messy

359
00:20:28.120 --> 00:20:32.680
that they view and interact with you as the enemy.

360
00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:39.320
And how do you be the father, the mother, spiritually,

361
00:20:39.320 --> 00:20:43.400
for them while they are treating you like the enemy?

362
00:20:43.400 --> 00:20:49.400
It's to say, you have to be solid enough

363
00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:51.240
in who it is that you are in the Lord

364
00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:54.120
and very unthreatened by your environment,

365
00:20:54.120 --> 00:20:56.880
very unthreatened by people, in order

366
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:03.560
to be able to hold the space for creation, meaning

367
00:21:03.560 --> 00:21:08.280
including human souls, to be frustrated,

368
00:21:08.280 --> 00:21:10.840
because it says that they are subjected to frustration,

369
00:21:10.840 --> 00:21:15.520
to be frustrated, in order for you to also bring

370
00:21:15.520 --> 00:21:17.920
the healing to that frustration.

371
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:19.840
And so anyway, so that's the thing,

372
00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:25.200
is it's God strengthening you in Him

373
00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:27.160
to be able to handle all of that.

374
00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:30.600
And we know that, because we all talk about, well,

375
00:21:30.600 --> 00:21:32.680
God's just trying to teach me a lesson.

376
00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:34.160
But I think it's important that we

377
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:37.520
see that it's more than just how we viewed it in the past.

378
00:21:37.520 --> 00:21:42.400
Well, God's teaching me a lesson, because how have we,

379
00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:45.640
what is our worldly experience of learning,

380
00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:51.600
of being taught a lesson by our teachers or by parents?

381
00:21:51.600 --> 00:21:57.480
It sometimes wasn't in a very pleasant experience.

382
00:21:57.480 --> 00:22:01.120
It was, sometimes it came with, depending

383
00:22:01.120 --> 00:22:03.640
on the house someone grew up in, it could come with the spanking,

384
00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:05.480
or it could come with time out, or it

385
00:22:05.480 --> 00:22:10.120
could come with removal of emotional relationship,

386
00:22:10.120 --> 00:22:13.480
or it could come with being, if you were in school,

387
00:22:13.480 --> 00:22:16.480
if it happens in school, it could be isolation

388
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:19.040
from the classroom, it could be sent to the principal

389
00:22:19.040 --> 00:22:20.040
in front of everybody.

390
00:22:20.080 --> 00:22:22.400
In other words, shame and embarrassment.

391
00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:24.280
So and that's what we think of when

392
00:22:24.280 --> 00:22:26.080
we think of learning a lesson.

393
00:22:26.080 --> 00:22:28.440
So that's what we have a tendency to think of,

394
00:22:28.440 --> 00:22:30.560
and we think of, well, God's teaching me a lesson.

395
00:22:30.560 --> 00:22:35.400
God intends me for more, but for right now, I'm learning lessons.

396
00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:41.520
And we have a very negative and separation

397
00:22:41.520 --> 00:22:43.920
between us and the one who's teaching us

398
00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:47.080
perspective of learning lessons.

399
00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:50.280
We learn, we're taught by the world

400
00:22:50.280 --> 00:22:53.480
that you have to learn lessons, that lessons

401
00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:55.640
mean you're in isolation.

402
00:22:55.640 --> 00:23:01.320
That you have to learn something and be tested while you're

403
00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:06.400
alone, and the master is just looking over you,

404
00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:09.400
correcting you, and getting on to you.

405
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:11.280
When you're not getting it right,

406
00:23:11.280 --> 00:23:14.000
simply telling you, you should know better,

407
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:16.920
I've taught you better, figure it out.

408
00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:19.840
What did I tell you last time?

409
00:23:19.840 --> 00:23:20.640
Try to remember.

410
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.240
And you're like, well, if I remembered,

411
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.120
I would have given that answer.

412
00:23:24.120 --> 00:23:26.080
So apparently, I don't remember, and you're not

413
00:23:26.080 --> 00:23:27.960
telling me the answer.

414
00:23:27.960 --> 00:23:30.680
Anyway, our point is we can project all that onto God.

415
00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:34.480
So that's what I find so important for us

416
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:37.360
to shift in our understanding of, OK, well,

417
00:23:37.360 --> 00:23:40.280
if I'm dissatisfied, but God has me here.

418
00:23:40.280 --> 00:23:43.600
So in other words, he needs me for more, but I'm here.

419
00:23:43.600 --> 00:23:45.600
It's important that we understand a different,

420
00:23:45.600 --> 00:23:47.320
have a different perspective of lessons

421
00:23:47.320 --> 00:23:51.240
so that we actually find freedom where we are as opposed to,

422
00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:53.200
well, right now, I'm just going through trial

423
00:23:53.200 --> 00:23:56.240
until one day I endure long enough where I

424
00:23:56.240 --> 00:23:58.280
can be relieved of the trials.

425
00:23:58.280 --> 00:24:01.120
And that's really not what we're doing right now.

426
00:24:01.120 --> 00:24:06.000
We have freedom now, but we don't see lessons as freedom.

427
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:09.320
Our experience of lessons is not in freedom,

428
00:24:09.320 --> 00:24:11.680
and God's like, no, no, no, in your lessons,

429
00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:13.040
you're still free.

430
00:24:13.040 --> 00:24:19.240
You're a prince who's learning, not a servant or not a student.

431
00:24:19.240 --> 00:24:20.640
Remember, he says, in those days,

432
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:23.240
you will no longer call, you will call me my husband.

433
00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:25.400
You will no longer call me my master,

434
00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:28.160
which is that relationship between a master and a student.

435
00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:31.080
So anyway, just wanted to encourage you in that,

436
00:24:31.080 --> 00:24:35.880
that where it is that you are is simply God always pointing out,

437
00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:39.840
OK, you didn't know until this pain point came up.

438
00:24:39.840 --> 00:24:42.280
You didn't know until you felt struggle

439
00:24:42.280 --> 00:24:44.800
that you are always, whether or not you feel it,

440
00:24:44.800 --> 00:24:47.440
you're always in a place of bondage.

441
00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:49.440
You're always enslaved to something now,

442
00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:51.520
and child, I meant you for more.

443
00:24:51.520 --> 00:24:55.600
You're in, you're not, you're not experiencing freedom.

444
00:24:55.600 --> 00:24:58.320
So, and this is highlighting an area in which you're not

445
00:24:58.320 --> 00:25:01.120
experiencing freedom, which.

446
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.720
you like to experience freedom? We're not gaining more and more

447
00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:08.600
of God, so to speak, because God's given us everything. But

448
00:25:08.600 --> 00:25:13.040
what we're doing is he's inviting us to, how did I say

449
00:25:13.040 --> 00:25:17.040
that, right? We're not receiving more and more of God is that

450
00:25:17.040 --> 00:25:24.040
it's that we're getting to by, by, by releasing into freedom

451
00:25:24.080 --> 00:25:26.960
and letting go of this thing that we're enslaved to that we

452
00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:29.520
didn't know we were enslaved to. You know, we're simply

453
00:25:29.520 --> 00:25:35.200
getting to experience more and more of freedom. But God still

454
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:39.080
talks to us whether or not we choose to shift into that

455
00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:42.240
whether or not we choose to let go. He still talks to us. He

456
00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:44.840
still loves us just as much. We're not gaining more of his

457
00:25:44.840 --> 00:25:48.160
love. You'll have just as much of his love if you choose to

458
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.920
stay here and to stay in the pain and to continue to make

459
00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:53.760
these decisions or you know, whatever they are. You continue

460
00:25:53.760 --> 00:25:57.760
to have God talk to you. You continue to have him just as

461
00:25:57.760 --> 00:26:01.320
much as he will here. You'll have him love you just as much

462
00:26:01.320 --> 00:26:04.520
here as he will here is if you make this is if you stay where

463
00:26:04.520 --> 00:26:07.040
you are in that particular area in which you're experiencing

464
00:26:07.040 --> 00:26:11.360
pain and struggle or you move on. That doesn't change. We're

465
00:26:11.360 --> 00:26:15.200
not getting more and more of God's pleasure. What we're

466
00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:18.360
getting is we're getting more and we get to experience more

467
00:26:18.360 --> 00:26:22.080
and more of it simply because we're stopping the resistance

468
00:26:22.080 --> 00:26:25.840
to it, but we're not gaining any more of it. So basically

469
00:26:25.840 --> 00:26:29.240
we're just giving ourselves access to more and more of it

470
00:26:29.560 --> 00:26:33.600
and a manner of speaking. God isn't giving us more and more

471
00:26:33.600 --> 00:26:38.160
access to it. We are claiming more and more access to it.

472
00:26:38.200 --> 00:26:42.120
He's already given us all access. And so he's like, do you

473
00:26:42.120 --> 00:26:45.160
want to grab do you want to take it or not? That's all we're

474
00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:50.360
gaining. So we're not doing this in order to get something more

475
00:26:50.360 --> 00:26:54.080
from God. You know, okay, Lord, you know, I know I'm supposed to

476
00:26:54.080 --> 00:26:57.240
learn a lesson so that you'll do something for me. That's not

477
00:26:57.240 --> 00:27:01.600
what it is. God's like, no, I've already given it all to you. But

478
00:27:01.760 --> 00:27:03.920
the fact that you're holding on to this means you're not you're

479
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:08.560
resisting, not accessing. So if you let go of it and choose to

480
00:27:08.560 --> 00:27:11.760
access it, now you've got it. So do you want it or not? But I'm

481
00:27:11.760 --> 00:27:15.000
still here regardless. You know, I still love you just as much if

482
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:17.760
you choose to stay where you are or you choose to leave. I will

483
00:27:17.760 --> 00:27:21.080
talk to you just as much here as I will here. The difference

484
00:27:21.080 --> 00:27:25.640
is, is totally the choice is totally up to you. Do you want

485
00:27:25.640 --> 00:27:29.000
to access it or not? But I'm still here regardless. It's

486
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:34.160
totally freeing. It's totally non obligatory. You know, so it's

487
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:39.400
a totally different perspective of, of being where it is that we

488
00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:42.840
are and not being somewhere where we eventually want to be.

489
00:27:43.600 --> 00:27:47.480
It we're here and it's not it's not an in a shaming or condemning

490
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:52.680
way. But we're here because this is all we can handle. This is

491
00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:57.200
where we're currently enslaved to. This is how much we just

492
00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:01.680
simply just don't know yet. And if Jesus wasn't above learning

493
00:28:01.760 --> 00:28:06.440
and growing, neither are we. So there's nothing shameful, or

494
00:28:06.440 --> 00:28:10.920
wrong, or quote unquote, I was gonna say immature. I mean, it

495
00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:13.760
is immaturity, but it's not immaturity in the negative sense

496
00:28:13.760 --> 00:28:15.760
that we always think of as immature. We always think, oh,

497
00:28:15.760 --> 00:28:19.280
it's a bad thing to be immature. Why? There's nothing wrong with

498
00:28:19.280 --> 00:28:22.800
being five. A five year old can be a five year old, we don't

499
00:28:22.800 --> 00:28:25.920
think that they're wrong for being five. And yet we still

500
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:28.920
call it immature. Why? Because we're compared, it's simply a

501
00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:32.520
relative term, we're just comparing it to 35. So compared

502
00:28:32.520 --> 00:28:36.240
to 35, five is immature, but five isn't expected to be a 35

503
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:40.840
year old. Five is expected to be a five year old, you know. So in

504
00:28:40.840 --> 00:28:44.000
that aspect, you know, we're just always just learning, you

505
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:47.680
know, more and more. And the whole point of learning is just

506
00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:51.920
simply, child, would you like to move into more love and freedom

507
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:54.880
than you're experiencing right now? Because I've given it all

508
00:28:54.880 --> 00:28:57.560
to you. Do you want to grab a hold of the axe? And do you want

509
00:28:57.560 --> 00:29:02.360
to grab a hold of it and access it? So anyway, I see, so I'm

510
00:29:02.360 --> 00:29:06.680
excited for you, because I see what it is that you described to

511
00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:09.400
me, not just in what's going on internally, the fact that you

512
00:29:09.400 --> 00:29:13.840
have so much insight, but also the positions that God has

513
00:29:13.840 --> 00:29:18.160
placed you in and what he's entrusted you with, as being a

514
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:22.280
sign of tremendous, the fact that he trusts you, and the fact

515
00:29:22.280 --> 00:29:28.840
that he's, and tremendous honor from him, and a very intentional

516
00:29:28.840 --> 00:29:33.720
selection of you. And so it's like you have everything going

517
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:38.720
for you. And his focus is not on what you'll accomplish and how

518
00:29:38.760 --> 00:29:42.200
it's going to help everybody else. His whole focus is you.

519
00:29:43.320 --> 00:29:46.800
It's like, so this isn't and this isn't, hey, you need to be

520
00:29:46.800 --> 00:29:50.080
better, you need to be older, you need to be more mature.

521
00:29:50.080 --> 00:29:53.400
You're just like, you know, I met you for more love and

522
00:29:53.400 --> 00:29:57.840
freedom. So would you like to move into it? It's, it's all for

523
00:29:57.840 --> 00:30:00.000
the good. It's all because

524
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.980
He's like, Hey, I want you to experience more love.

525
00:30:01.980 --> 00:30:03.980
I want you to experience more intimacy.

526
00:30:04.460 --> 00:30:06.960
All of this stuff that you and I are going to do together.

527
00:30:07.380 --> 00:30:11.540
That's just going to come from a results and natural flowing from

528
00:30:11.740 --> 00:30:12.900
yours and my relationship.

529
00:30:12.900 --> 00:30:17.660
But the point is you and my, you and me having fun and

530
00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:19.980
enjoying our relationship.

531
00:30:21.240 --> 00:30:25.700
The whole thing of what job that you have and how it impacts other people

532
00:30:25.940 --> 00:30:27.740
and what your life experiences.

533
00:30:27.980 --> 00:30:33.780
That's going to be a natural flowing that you don't have to work for from the fact

534
00:30:33.780 --> 00:30:37.660
that you and I relate the way that we, that, that we do basically child.

535
00:30:37.660 --> 00:30:42.540
I want to honor you with the greatest gift that I can give you access to the,

536
00:30:43.020 --> 00:30:48.940
um, the God and King and creator of the, and the sustainer of the universe.

537
00:30:49.780 --> 00:30:51.000
You get access to me.

538
00:30:51.020 --> 00:30:56.180
So my gift is more and more access to me, you know, but, but based off of how much

539
00:30:56.180 --> 00:31:00.460
you choose, you want to experience, but you have to let go of this.

540
00:31:00.620 --> 00:31:09.100
If you want to rule it, we can't rule something that we need or that we use to

541
00:31:09.140 --> 00:31:12.940
comfort us, um, because then we're empowering it.

542
00:31:12.980 --> 00:31:17.060
We're saying we need it because we're in lack in a particular area.

543
00:31:17.060 --> 00:31:19.980
We need comfort and this can give it to us.

544
00:31:20.220 --> 00:31:24.620
So it's what's what Esau did when he sold his birthright.

545
00:31:25.100 --> 00:31:29.300
That's what we're doing is we're selling our birthright to creation.

546
00:31:29.660 --> 00:31:32.060
We're selling our power, so to speak.

547
00:31:32.060 --> 00:31:35.700
And I don't mean power, like, like, you know, like we were talking about, like

548
00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:39.020
a lot of direction and all of that, where they're empowering self, I'm

549
00:31:39.020 --> 00:31:42.500
trying to empower the fact that if we're one with Christ, it's his power.

550
00:31:42.500 --> 00:31:43.700
It's the it's God's power.

551
00:31:43.700 --> 00:31:44.500
It's not our power.

552
00:31:45.060 --> 00:31:46.220
We're not wielding it.

553
00:31:46.300 --> 00:31:49.540
You know, it's just, you know, us being one with him, you know, how he chooses

554
00:31:49.540 --> 00:31:54.940
to operate out of us in spirit, you know, that, um, we're giving that up.

555
00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:59.180
We're selling our birthright as a son of God, as the son of the king of the

556
00:31:59.180 --> 00:32:03.500
universe, and we're trading it for a bowl of soup, we're trading

557
00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:05.100
it for something temporary.

558
00:32:05.180 --> 00:32:11.380
I want comforts I want, you know, in, and by assurance, by using formulas in

559
00:32:11.380 --> 00:32:18.580
order to ensure and to predict an outcome, you know, anyway, so talked a lot.

560
00:32:18.660 --> 00:32:21.100
But does that resonate?

561
00:32:21.100 --> 00:32:22.460
Does, is that helpful at all?

562
00:32:22.460 --> 00:32:23.700
Does that speak to anything?

563
00:32:24.420 --> 00:32:26.420
Oh, yeah, it's so helpful.

564
00:32:26.420 --> 00:32:27.780
And it resonates a lot.

565
00:32:27.820 --> 00:32:32.660
And I I'm like, yes, this is, but I still probably don't really know how.

566
00:32:34.060 --> 00:32:36.180
Like some things are very practical for me.

567
00:32:36.180 --> 00:32:40.220
Like I remember Diane Venora told me you can have nothing in common with Hollywood.

568
00:32:40.220 --> 00:32:45.100
If you would ever be called to be there, not say like, that was my, at least my

569
00:32:45.140 --> 00:32:46.220
dream before.

570
00:32:46.260 --> 00:32:48.580
And I was like, oh, I get that.

571
00:32:48.580 --> 00:32:52.260
It's a hard way to like, and now I'm like, oh, why would I ever want that?

572
00:32:52.260 --> 00:32:52.940
You know what I mean?

573
00:32:52.940 --> 00:32:57.740
So I'm like, oh, it's crazy to me how Renata and I were dreaming when we're

574
00:32:57.740 --> 00:33:00.740
18, you know, and then where I am now.

575
00:33:00.740 --> 00:33:03.020
And I was like, oh my gosh, why would I ever want that?

576
00:33:03.020 --> 00:33:03.860
It's horrible.

577
00:33:04.540 --> 00:33:11.340
Like, um, but, um, yeah, so I get it, but I still don't get it.

578
00:33:11.380 --> 00:33:15.900
I'm like, I know the gift is to like, have more access to God and be in that.

579
00:33:15.900 --> 00:33:16.940
And that's where I want to be.

580
00:33:16.940 --> 00:33:22.500
I'm like, oh, what I want now is just to be in that union, you know, to like

581
00:33:22.540 --> 00:33:26.820
where everything flows out and where we do things together and where it's just

582
00:33:26.820 --> 00:33:28.060
like kind of fun.

583
00:33:28.060 --> 00:33:33.620
And that's why I think I want to try to do what I said on my, on my share that I

584
00:33:33.620 --> 00:33:37.780
was like, oh, I want to wake up and like have that encounter.

585
00:33:37.780 --> 00:33:39.140
And then I want to go to bed to that.

586
00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:43.580
Cause I just want to like meet God there, but then I get frustrated

587
00:33:43.580 --> 00:33:45.300
because obviously it's not happening.

588
00:33:45.340 --> 00:33:49.020
So I'm like, oh, um, but I'm trying.

589
00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:52.060
So, um, I maybe I have to stop trying.

590
00:33:52.100 --> 00:33:52.540
I don't know.

591
00:33:52.540 --> 00:33:55.020
It really makes a lot of sense what you're saying.

592
00:33:55.020 --> 00:33:59.940
And I, I get very impatient, so I just want everything to happen now.

593
00:34:01.220 --> 00:34:01.580
Yeah.

594
00:34:01.860 --> 00:34:02.260
Yeah.

595
00:34:02.980 --> 00:34:04.420
But it's very encouraging.

596
00:34:04.460 --> 00:34:04.780
Yeah.

597
00:34:05.180 --> 00:34:05.580
Good.

598
00:34:05.580 --> 00:34:12.820
And if it's any comfort, um, this is, uh, you're at a very normal place in, um,

599
00:34:12.860 --> 00:34:18.940
right now, uh, a lot of people are actually, um, experiencing frustration

600
00:34:19.020 --> 00:34:25.420
right now, it's very normal part of the process and the program and not, I'll

601
00:34:25.420 --> 00:34:31.699
tell you, it's very normal because there's, there's a, there's a, um, what's

602
00:34:31.699 --> 00:34:35.219
the word, not, not, I was looking for this word earlier today.

603
00:34:35.260 --> 00:34:38.260
I was talking to my husband about some stuff and we were, and I was like, what

604
00:34:38.260 --> 00:34:42.980
is that word it's, um, it's where things don't reconcile it's the, there's what

605
00:34:42.980 --> 00:34:46.340
I referred to it earlier was, um, when I was talking with my husband, it's just

606
00:34:46.340 --> 00:34:51.139
like this, this dissonance, you know, with this unalignment, you know, where

607
00:34:51.139 --> 00:34:55.540
you've got, you've got the old and then you have the new and things aren't,

608
00:34:55.580 --> 00:34:59.900
things aren't working because all we know is the old and our whole, our whole.

609
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.000
world, our whole paradigm, our whole understanding of God and

610
00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:07.440
of ourselves and of, of like how this whole Christianity things

611
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:12.120
works and in our life and my dreams and is all built off of

612
00:35:12.120 --> 00:35:16.800
this old structure, this old wineskin. And now there's a new

613
00:35:16.840 --> 00:35:20.160
revelation that can't hold that in the old wineskin can't hold

614
00:35:20.160 --> 00:35:23.160
the new revelation from the Lord. And so but we're like,

615
00:35:23.200 --> 00:35:27.240
yeah, but where's the new wineskin that can hold a new

616
00:35:27.240 --> 00:35:30.560
revelation? And and then to be able to switch from the old

617
00:35:30.560 --> 00:35:32.800
wineskin to the new one, you know, it's just it's just

618
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:37.560
challenging. So it's very, it's very normal part of the process

619
00:35:37.600 --> 00:35:43.240
of, of transitioning is always hard. There's the fact that

620
00:35:43.680 --> 00:35:47.440
everything underneath this that we'd always relied on to kind

621
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:51.880
of stabilize this is shifting, because what God wants to do is

622
00:35:51.880 --> 00:35:54.840
to shake that which is shakable within us so that nothing so

623
00:35:54.840 --> 00:35:58.760
that what remains is that which is unshakable. And so it's not

624
00:35:58.760 --> 00:36:01.320
that he's trying to take the things that are shakable and

625
00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:04.360
make them unshakable. Those things just can't hold it. He's

626
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:08.320
trying to remove them all together, and replace them with

627
00:36:08.320 --> 00:36:13.280
the things that are actually unshakable. And so anyway, so

628
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:18.280
just, you know, like, just as an encouragement, the frustration

629
00:36:18.360 --> 00:36:23.160
is a very normal part of the process. Now, I don't know, I've

630
00:36:23.160 --> 00:36:25.920
never had a child, but this is what I understand from having

631
00:36:25.960 --> 00:36:30.680
heard so much, you know, as we all as we women all have about

632
00:36:30.680 --> 00:36:33.880
what it's like to have a child. And you know why they talk about

633
00:36:33.880 --> 00:36:35.920
the importance of Lamaze breathing and everything,

634
00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:40.240
because the important thing is they say is to relax, because as

635
00:36:40.240 --> 00:36:45.200
much as your body is going through a stretching, and it's,

636
00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:48.560
it's act, your body knows what it's doing. And the more that

637
00:36:48.560 --> 00:36:52.400
you relax, and the more that you just let it do its thing, the

638
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:56.280
easier that it is on your body, and the easier it is on you. And

639
00:36:56.280 --> 00:37:00.400
because basically, when we when what we're doing is we don't

640
00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:04.080
relax as we're resisting, we're resisting what's normal, we're

641
00:37:04.080 --> 00:37:07.000
resisting the natural process. And we keep thinking because

642
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:10.880
there's pain, that there's something wrong. And really,

643
00:37:10.920 --> 00:37:14.120
it's, it sounds very counter. And that's why they have to

644
00:37:14.120 --> 00:37:19.240
teach people prior to them being in labor, how to do Lamaze

645
00:37:19.240 --> 00:37:23.960
breathing, because at the time of is not the time. You've got

646
00:37:23.960 --> 00:37:27.560
to practice it and be familiar with it. So when it's crucial to

647
00:37:27.560 --> 00:37:32.680
actually execute it, you're you already familiar enough with it

648
00:37:32.680 --> 00:37:35.880
that you can make an intentional choice, I'm going to go and go

649
00:37:35.880 --> 00:37:39.760
with this, as opposed to what everything seems to be,

650
00:37:40.160 --> 00:37:43.720
everything in me wants to respond in a totally different

651
00:37:43.720 --> 00:37:46.360
way. It's making a very intentional and choice,

652
00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:53.560
intentional, intentional choice to act very counter to what the

653
00:37:53.560 --> 00:37:56.720
experience naturally wants to bring up within us. So with

654
00:37:56.720 --> 00:38:00.120
frustration, and like shifting in some things with the Lord,

655
00:38:00.120 --> 00:38:02.920
especially when we're like, God, you know, I'm moving into an

656
00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:06.880
unknown, which again, is faith, right? Moving into this unknown,

657
00:38:07.040 --> 00:38:12.520
it's always unknown. And because even if God tells us what the

658
00:38:12.520 --> 00:38:18.760
thing is that we're moving to, there, the fact that, how would

659
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:24.320
I put that the fact that it's safe, and that we're going to be

660
00:38:24.320 --> 00:38:27.320
provided for there, and that everything that's going to work

661
00:38:27.320 --> 00:38:31.120
out is something that we're unsure of, is something that we

662
00:38:31.120 --> 00:38:35.440
can't see. And so it's still faith. Even if God tells us

663
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.360
point blank, hey, look, you're going to start this business,

664
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:39.840
you're going to do this, you're going to go here, whatever. Why

665
00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:42.560
do we still wonder, why do we say, why is it still hard to

666
00:38:42.560 --> 00:38:45.280
step out on it? Because so often we think, Oh, look, God, just to

667
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:50.040
tell me that no, no, even when we know, there's still an

668
00:38:50.040 --> 00:38:54.000
element of the spiritual and the emotional, that's unknown. And

669
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:57.240
that's apparently what really drives us. It's not the, hey, we

670
00:38:57.240 --> 00:39:00.480
have an actual definitive, you know, that we could like, that

671
00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:03.640
we can articulate is the fact emotionally and spiritually,

672
00:39:03.640 --> 00:39:05.800
we're just kind of like, Yeah, but can I can I trust it?

673
00:39:05.800 --> 00:39:12.480
Right? Anyway, so the thing is that when we're in this, in

674
00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:17.720
this place of frustration, the fastest way to shift into rest

675
00:39:17.720 --> 00:39:20.560
the fast, because you could use this with anything that we're

676
00:39:20.560 --> 00:39:22.480
trying to learn the Lord, but we're, you know, we're all

677
00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:25.480
learning about rest. So we're talking about that rest, faith

678
00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:30.640
in God, trying to understand this new perspective, like

679
00:39:30.640 --> 00:39:35.200
choosing this new perspective of who God really is. And I don't

680
00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:38.600
mean, because I said it, I mean, because based off of what

681
00:39:38.600 --> 00:39:41.960
you personally are experiencing and feeling in your spirit

682
00:39:41.960 --> 00:39:44.640
between you and God, that is what you cling to, not because

683
00:39:44.640 --> 00:39:48.120
somebody said something, because that won't hold up in, you know,

684
00:39:48.120 --> 00:39:51.200
in dire situations in which you're going through a lot of

685
00:39:51.200 --> 00:39:53.200
pain, or someone you know, is going through a lot of pain,

686
00:39:53.200 --> 00:39:56.240
remembering Ashley said, ain't gonna do a daggum thing for you.

687
00:39:56.280 --> 00:39:59.960
So, but between what you experience, you know, between

688
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.640
in the Lord, what you hear from him, you know, that is what's going to, uh, that's what you cling to.

689
00:40:06.640 --> 00:40:11.600
But anyway, so whenever we're moving into some aspect in which we're supposed to have faith,

690
00:40:11.600 --> 00:40:17.280
this unknown, we're moving towards this unknown. Uh, we can feel frustrated because we just don't

691
00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:21.040
understand. We don't understand this thing that we're leaving. We don't understand how to leave.

692
00:40:21.040 --> 00:40:25.680
We're not quite sure if God's telling us to leave and we're on other, we're supposed to go to,

693
00:40:25.680 --> 00:40:31.760
there's just all of this unknown. And we just get frustrated. We want something to be known,

694
00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:35.040
right? Because that's where we're good at. We're trying to find our stability and our

695
00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:39.840
sense of assuredness and security is I want to just know something, just, just that Lord,

696
00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:46.400
just give me some. And, um, and so the, the fastest way to go through it kind of like,

697
00:40:46.400 --> 00:40:54.080
well, Ma's breathing with it in childbirth is to just let the process just, just let go and

698
00:40:54.080 --> 00:41:00.960
stop resisting the process, stop resisting your, uh, because the frustration comes in the resistance.

699
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:09.120
So stop resisting, just allow it to allow it to be unknown. Allow, allow yourself this space

700
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:15.360
to be in a place where you can't figure it out, where you don't know, and you can't figure out

701
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:20.880
the answer. And you're just there. You're not leaving. You're not going. I mean, that's what

702
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:24.560
it can kind of feel like. I'm not leaving. I'm not going. I just, I'm just here, Lord. I'm in

703
00:41:24.560 --> 00:41:32.480
no man's land and I've got no direction. Right. So basically kind of like allow everything around you

704
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:41.520
to shift without you, without requiring of you to, to know how it's supposed to shift

705
00:41:42.160 --> 00:41:46.880
and to give every, to micromanage everything and tell it what, how it needs to shift.

706
00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:51.680
And to, in other words, to have the process figured out, to know where you're, what you're

707
00:41:51.680 --> 00:41:58.080
leaving or where you're going and how you're supposed to do it all. Just, just open yourself

708
00:41:58.080 --> 00:42:03.840
to allow God to, to shift and to move things, to tell your spirit, your soul, and your body to

709
00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:10.560
submit that to all come into alignment with your spirit and the spirit of God to move and to shift

710
00:42:10.560 --> 00:42:19.120
and to shift and then let them do it without you knowing how, without you emotionally trying to

711
00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:25.360
make it work without you physically trying to make it work without you mentally trying to figure it

712
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:31.200
out. What we're not, we're not used to that. We're used to being taught, especially in school.

713
00:42:31.840 --> 00:42:36.800
Hey, look, the only, or, or even in church, Hey, the only way to move forward is you learn more

714
00:42:37.600 --> 00:42:42.400
again, true knowledge. You learn more because that's your saving grace and that's what will fix

715
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:48.880
you. So if you're not moving or, or they'll say, you know, that you won't move unless you know,

716
00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:56.800
that's bogus. So God wants us to learn to operate very differently. And now, Hey, I want, allow me

717
00:42:56.800 --> 00:43:02.000
to move you without you knowing. In other words, without you knowing what to do and how to do it

718
00:43:02.720 --> 00:43:08.080
and what's supposed to be going on. And God's like, trust me to have set everything up your

719
00:43:08.080 --> 00:43:14.080
body, your soul, and your spirit to function without you consciously knowing how, you know,

720
00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:21.040
and just let it new case in point. I went, saw a vision, um, where, uh, I saw, I saw a body

721
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:27.440
and I saw a wound out here and it kind of looked like a heart, you know, like a, like a, like an

722
00:43:27.440 --> 00:43:30.640
actual literal heart. It didn't look like the, like the symbol heart. It looked like somebody's

723
00:43:30.640 --> 00:43:35.040
actual pumping cart that was out here, but I could tell that it was a, it was wounded.

724
00:43:35.040 --> 00:43:40.080
And so all of a sudden the body doubled and it was because, and I discovered this later,

725
00:43:40.080 --> 00:43:44.720
I couldn't understand the vision when I saw it. It wasn't until after I was looking and I asked

726
00:43:44.720 --> 00:43:49.760
God to walk me back through the vision that he explained it to me, to me that, and then I, you

727
00:43:49.760 --> 00:43:55.040
know, basically that I understood it. And, but that's where the, it doubled in the soul caught

728
00:43:55.120 --> 00:44:02.240
out of the body. And then it looked at the, uh, it looked the wound and, and, and held it and was

729
00:44:02.240 --> 00:44:08.000
thinking, you know, okay, well, it kind of looks broken. And in my world, if a China blade is

730
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:12.320
broken, this is the soul, by the way, of a China plate is broken. Well, then you, you glue it.

731
00:44:13.120 --> 00:44:19.520
So that's what it did. It kind of tried to apply glue and whatever. And then God was behind this,

732
00:44:19.520 --> 00:44:24.880
this soul. And he looked over the, the, that person's shoulder at me and he said, Hey, tell

733
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:30.480
the man that that won't work. What he's doing won't work. So I told the man, so even though

734
00:44:30.480 --> 00:44:34.000
God was behind his shoulder, I was the only one who could hear him. The man couldn't. So I had to,

735
00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:40.000
I had to constantly, you know, interpret to this, uh, to this soul. It's like, Hey, and again,

736
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.800
this is just a vision. It's like, Hey, you know, that won't work. And the guys, oh, okay. Well,

737
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:50.800
what else do I know? Um, duct tape, you know? And so he tried to use duct tape or something. I don't

738
00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:55.200
remember what else he did. He tried, but he tried a different method that you would use in the

739
00:44:55.200 --> 00:44:59.840
physical realm to fix something. And God's in God again, looked over his shoulder and he said, tell

740
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.380
him that won't work either.

741
00:45:01.820 --> 00:45:03.620
So I told him, I said, God says that won't work either.

742
00:45:03.660 --> 00:45:07.440
So, so it goes, okay, well then I guess I don't know how to do it.

743
00:45:07.540 --> 00:45:10.220
So it gets, it goes back into the body.

744
00:45:10.260 --> 00:45:13.080
So it's now, so body and soul are now together again, and I'm

745
00:45:13.080 --> 00:45:14.880
just seeing one man instead of two.

746
00:45:15.500 --> 00:45:17.820
In other words, instead of duplicated, it was just one.

747
00:45:17.820 --> 00:45:21.980
And then I saw that man come out from where God had been speaking.

748
00:45:21.980 --> 00:45:26.180
So in other words, it was that man's spirit coming out of heaven and it, and

749
00:45:26.180 --> 00:45:28.820
it came to the wound and it just held it.

750
00:45:30.380 --> 00:45:31.300
It didn't fix it.

751
00:45:31.700 --> 00:45:35.560
It just, I mean, meaning like it didn't try to tape it or glue it or do anything.

752
00:45:35.580 --> 00:45:38.460
It didn't even talk to it, just held it.

753
00:45:39.600 --> 00:45:45.540
And, and, but what I felt was that this, that this spirit knew it was a King.

754
00:45:45.660 --> 00:45:50.720
It knew that it was, um, that I don't know that it could, that it

755
00:45:50.720 --> 00:45:54.940
had Lordship over this soul, this, um, this wound.

756
00:45:55.240 --> 00:46:00.440
And so all it did is hell is it held the wound and the wound healed and

757
00:46:00.440 --> 00:46:06.480
immediately relaxed simply because the spirit presented itself simply

758
00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:10.360
because the spirit said, Hey, look, this is me, I'm your King.

759
00:46:10.680 --> 00:46:11.320
And I'm here.

760
00:46:11.620 --> 00:46:12.460
I protect you.

761
00:46:12.480 --> 00:46:13.280
I govern you.

762
00:46:13.400 --> 00:46:15.160
I, I, I cover you.

763
00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:17.000
You no longer have to do it for you.

764
00:46:18.280 --> 00:46:21.040
And the soul and the, and the, and the wound just relaxed.

765
00:46:21.260 --> 00:46:25.600
Meantime, the souls looking over and watching what the spirit's doing.

766
00:46:25.600 --> 00:46:28.860
And he says, Oh, so that's how you do it.

767
00:46:30.260 --> 00:46:36.100
So what I learned from the vision is that, is that our spirits know because

768
00:46:36.100 --> 00:46:37.500
they have access to the Lord.

769
00:46:37.500 --> 00:46:39.860
They have access to the spirit of wisdom, the spirit of understanding,

770
00:46:39.860 --> 00:46:42.980
spirit of knowledge, the different spirits of the seven spirits of God.

771
00:46:43.740 --> 00:46:47.800
And they know how to fix these things that we as in our souls.

772
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:48.980
We don't know how to fix.

773
00:46:49.440 --> 00:46:50.600
We know that we're hurting.

774
00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:52.200
We know that there's an issue.

775
00:46:52.220 --> 00:46:54.680
We know there's some settings we're supposed to learn, but

776
00:46:54.680 --> 00:46:55.580
we don't know how to do it.

777
00:46:56.180 --> 00:46:59.000
And we think we're the ones responsible to fix it.

778
00:46:59.320 --> 00:47:02.480
And we think that the only way we can fix it is to have to learn

779
00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:04.240
something we don't currently know.

780
00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:09.960
In other words, we're in lack and we need knowledge in order to be okay.

781
00:47:10.240 --> 00:47:14.200
And in order to heal, in order to whatever, and this person's spirit

782
00:47:14.380 --> 00:47:18.460
knew how to heal the wound simply by presenting itself.

783
00:47:19.660 --> 00:47:21.580
And then the, and then the wound was okay.

784
00:47:21.820 --> 00:47:25.460
And then the soul simply watched the spirit do it.

785
00:47:25.900 --> 00:47:27.540
He said, Oh, apparently that's how you do it.

786
00:47:27.540 --> 00:47:31.580
So the soul learned by watching its own spirit, um, heal the wound.

787
00:47:31.940 --> 00:47:37.020
Um, so in other words, we, we don't have to, we don't have to fix everything.

788
00:47:37.060 --> 00:47:40.580
We don't have to know how we don't have to, we don't, we're not dependent

789
00:47:40.580 --> 00:47:45.920
on knowledge and on consciously understanding what God's doing, how

790
00:47:45.920 --> 00:47:52.360
he's moving all of the pieces, our soul, our body, and our spirit know how to

791
00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:56.080
shift all of the pieces and function according to the way God intended them

792
00:47:56.080 --> 00:48:04.400
to healthily function without our, um, without our, uh, uh, soul having to

793
00:48:04.400 --> 00:48:09.680
consciously know, or a mind consciously know how, so anyway, just say that as

794
00:48:09.680 --> 00:48:13.980
an encouragement, you will ship it just like we're supposed to, you know,

795
00:48:13.980 --> 00:48:17.180
shift into rest and operate in our finances and relationships and everything

796
00:48:17.180 --> 00:48:22.940
in rest, we have to shift into rest with rest in other words, stop fighting

797
00:48:22.940 --> 00:48:28.260
it and let it happen, make ourselves available, just, and, and I promise

798
00:48:28.260 --> 00:48:34.420
you, that's how you shift is you, you allow you open yourself up to the

799
00:48:34.420 --> 00:48:38.140
Lord, because remember it's who you naturally are, you intentionally

800
00:48:38.140 --> 00:48:43.160
choose that you are who God says that you are, and then let who you naturally

801
00:48:43.160 --> 00:48:47.720
are start operating and you'll start functioning in ways that you've

802
00:48:47.720 --> 00:48:50.000
never learned how to function.

803
00:48:51.280 --> 00:48:54.520
You, you just start doing it and you start discovering it because

804
00:48:54.520 --> 00:48:55.760
you start actually doing it.

805
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:59.200
You start seeing it out, seeing it in your actions or in your decisions or

806
00:48:59.200 --> 00:49:01.060
whatever you think, well, that's interesting.

807
00:49:01.060 --> 00:49:02.620
I don't normally respond in that way.

808
00:49:02.840 --> 00:49:03.340
Why?

809
00:49:03.620 --> 00:49:04.480
Because you let go.

810
00:49:05.080 --> 00:49:07.400
So who it is that you naturally are starts coming out.

811
00:49:07.400 --> 00:49:13.020
So just FYI, the more that we stop requiring ourselves to figure it all

812
00:49:13.020 --> 00:49:16.420
out, I mean, like desperately, there's nothing wrong with like thinking about

813
00:49:16.420 --> 00:49:18.060
it and talking to the Lord about it.

814
00:49:18.080 --> 00:49:20.380
All of that's normal part of relationship.

815
00:49:20.860 --> 00:49:25.220
I'm talking about the desperateness and the frustration or the, or the

816
00:49:25.220 --> 00:49:30.300
condemnation of aggravation, those are indicative of feeling threatened

817
00:49:30.300 --> 00:49:32.320
and feeling like I'm responsible.

818
00:49:32.700 --> 00:49:36.780
I won't get it unless I, unless I do these things, you know,

819
00:49:37.320 --> 00:49:39.840
if you choose instead, no, that says it's already mine.

820
00:49:40.200 --> 00:49:42.200
God says it's who I naturally am.

821
00:49:42.640 --> 00:49:48.120
And to just rest in that in the end, expectantly watch it happen.

822
00:49:49.200 --> 00:49:52.320
Let God be as big as he claims to be.

823
00:49:53.040 --> 00:49:55.080
You know, anyway, is that helpful?

824
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.400
Mind-blowing. Amazing. Yes. I will go back and listen to this over and over.

825
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:10.080
And I'm glad it was helpful. Thank you. Yeah.

826
00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:16.800
Oh no, go ahead. No, sorry. I was just saying it keeps, it keeps spinning. So I'm like,

827
00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:20.480
oh, okay. Now I have to think like this and that. So it's great. Yeah. Thank you so much.

828
00:50:21.360 --> 00:50:27.600
Yeah. You're welcome. Hey, I promise I haven't forgotten who we just started, started going.

829
00:50:27.600 --> 00:50:32.320
And you know, me, once I get started, I'm like, oh, and oh, and I can say this. This

830
00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:37.600
will hopefully be helpful. That's good. It's okay. It's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting

831
00:50:37.600 --> 00:50:43.440
to hear. Like some of the things definitely hit me too. And some of the things, yeah. Yeah. It's a,

832
00:50:43.440 --> 00:50:51.440
it's really, really interesting to hear. And some of it reminds me of where I'm at and it's kind of

833
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:57.840
also answering a little bit of my things. I have some good things that are happening and some,

834
00:50:57.840 --> 00:51:05.840
and that I want to share. And then there are some challenges and maybe you already are answering

835
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:16.320
some of them, but I feel like in a way I am struggling with moving into rest in like in a

836
00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:20.960
different way than before, but in the same, so that's something that I'm going to share afterwards,

837
00:51:20.960 --> 00:51:27.680
but then at the same time, I am also, I have also started walking in rest and started to kind of

838
00:51:27.680 --> 00:51:39.440
more like create with God and do things with God. And just starting to really feel like I, what I

839
00:51:39.440 --> 00:51:48.000
want to do is to make, give him joy. And I want to create with him. And I want to be like, I want to

840
00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:52.880
be free from everything that's holding me down. And I realized a lot of it is fear of man in my

841
00:51:52.880 --> 00:52:00.720
life and I want to communicate out. So what I had, I had like this idea and thought I have so many

842
00:52:00.720 --> 00:52:05.520
things that's going on in my life and I feel God speak to me and I just want to do a Facebook live.

843
00:52:06.080 --> 00:52:11.440
And of course I felt like really, that was crazy. And I thought I'm not going to do it. And it's

844
00:52:11.440 --> 00:52:17.920
like, I don't know anyone that does it on my Facebook friends. So then I thought, and I had

845
00:52:17.920 --> 00:52:23.120
this idea that I just want to do it five times and I want to be break free from fear of men.

846
00:52:23.120 --> 00:52:28.640
And I want to create this with you, God. I just want to do this and I want to bring joy to your

847
00:52:28.640 --> 00:52:38.720
heart more than to see what happens. So I just embarked on that journey and it's been, so I've

848
00:52:38.720 --> 00:52:48.160
been doing that every Thursday and I've had, and it's just, it's just been very, very challenging

849
00:52:48.160 --> 00:52:57.360
and very, very good. And I have gotten a lot of views. One of the posts got a lot of comments and

850
00:52:58.640 --> 00:53:04.880
a lot of feedback and I don't know. So, but, but then it's kind of like, so one of them had

851
00:53:04.880 --> 00:53:13.200
500 views. The other one had maybe 250 and then the other one, 150. And, but then, and I can tell

852
00:53:13.760 --> 00:53:19.200
by the likes or the views that you can start measure whether or not it was good,

853
00:53:20.480 --> 00:53:27.120
but I've had more and more the sense of that. It doesn't really matter. Like the most important

854
00:53:27.120 --> 00:53:31.520
thing is that I'm actually creating something with God and I have something on my heart that

855
00:53:31.520 --> 00:53:37.520
I want to say. So even in the beginning, when it was a little bit slow before people started to

856
00:53:37.520 --> 00:53:44.480
look at it, I thought I made you happy. And it just brought a lot of joy to my heart. Like,

857
00:53:44.480 --> 00:53:48.720
I was kind of like, God, that made you happy, right? That I shared about my journey.

858
00:53:49.680 --> 00:53:54.800
And, and maybe no one's going to watch it or maybe they won't get anything out of it,

859
00:53:54.800 --> 00:54:01.200
but that still made you happy. And I could feel like really deep joy of creating with God.

860
00:54:01.520 --> 00:54:09.200
Even though it wouldn't mean anything to anyone else than him, you know, like, and, but of course

861
00:54:09.200 --> 00:54:13.440
it's like, and then the next moment you're like, Oh, I don't know what are people going to say?

862
00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:19.360
I'm so vulnerable. I share my heart. I share my wounds. I share my walk with God. I share.

863
00:54:19.360 --> 00:54:27.760
So then you're like, yeah. So it's, it's like, it's like both, but I want to continue doing that

864
00:54:28.560 --> 00:54:36.560
two more times. And I can feel like it's, it's really, really hard to do it.

865
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:44.880
But it's also very good. And after those two times, because that's what I had in my heart,

866
00:54:44.880 --> 00:54:50.080
I'm going to do this five, five times. I don't know what to do, but I think it is,

867
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:56.480
it is kind of coming back because I used to be to blog and write quite a lot. And then I kind of

868
00:54:56.480 --> 00:54:59.760
drew back. So it is a way to.

869
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.000
start using my gifts in communication through writing

870
00:55:05.640 --> 00:55:09.120
or through having things on my heart or my life story,

871
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:11.120
which is pretty intense.

872
00:55:13.480 --> 00:55:15.560
So that is something that's going on,

873
00:55:15.560 --> 00:55:19.240
which is I'm walking in and finding victory

874
00:55:19.240 --> 00:55:22.080
and a lot of challenges.

875
00:55:22.080 --> 00:55:24.640
And the other two things that I wanted to mention

876
00:55:24.640 --> 00:55:29.640
was probably the same thing a little bit like Annette,

877
00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:35.000
that I struggle a lot with work and moving in to rest.

878
00:55:39.720 --> 00:55:44.720
It's like another level, like, am I supposed to be here?

879
00:55:46.200 --> 00:55:47.920
What am I doing here?

880
00:55:47.920 --> 00:55:51.220
The students are rebelling.

881
00:55:51.220 --> 00:55:53.040
And then I'm realizing more and more

882
00:55:53.040 --> 00:55:55.800
that this is not an easy task.

883
00:55:55.800 --> 00:55:58.760
I'm seeing more that there is actually a lot of issues

884
00:55:58.760 --> 00:56:01.960
in the leadership, lots of my colleagues

885
00:56:01.960 --> 00:56:05.000
are going on sick leave, it's unhealthy environment.

886
00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:09.000
And also darkness, I sense more and more spiritual stuff.

887
00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:12.900
The more I'm there that as I open the door in the morning,

888
00:56:12.900 --> 00:56:16.640
I can feel like a spiritual darkness towards me.

889
00:56:16.640 --> 00:56:18.720
And I'm realizing that there's been a lot of,

890
00:56:18.720 --> 00:56:21.500
it's like an island where my dad grew up.

891
00:56:21.500 --> 00:56:23.400
So I realized that there's been a lot of battle

892
00:56:23.400 --> 00:56:26.440
in the island and it used to be Christian,

893
00:56:26.440 --> 00:56:27.920
a lot of people believers,

894
00:56:27.920 --> 00:56:30.640
and then things have switched and changed.

895
00:56:30.640 --> 00:56:34.440
And then there's a lot of people have been praying,

896
00:56:34.440 --> 00:56:36.440
but then I don't know what happened.

897
00:56:36.440 --> 00:56:38.280
So, but I'm realizing more and more

898
00:56:38.280 --> 00:56:41.200
that there's a lock to the backdrop here

899
00:56:41.200 --> 00:56:43.680
that I'm just starting to hear people telling me

900
00:56:43.680 --> 00:56:45.800
about what's going on in the island.

901
00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:50.800
So, and so I'm realizing that I'm the only Christian here.

902
00:56:53.080 --> 00:56:55.680
I haven't met, there's like 300 people.

903
00:56:55.680 --> 00:56:57.360
I haven't met one colleague

904
00:56:57.360 --> 00:57:00.600
or student that's a Christian and I wear a cross

905
00:57:00.600 --> 00:57:02.600
and I've been talking about God to the students

906
00:57:02.600 --> 00:57:04.040
and I'm kind of fishing all the time,

907
00:57:04.040 --> 00:57:08.440
trying to find Christians to connect with

908
00:57:08.440 --> 00:57:11.640
and not to be alone and to kind of, I don't know.

909
00:57:11.640 --> 00:57:15.440
So I'm realizing it's a bigger and bigger thing.

910
00:57:15.440 --> 00:57:18.800
And part of me wants to just out because it's too much

911
00:57:18.800 --> 00:57:21.560
and everyone around me is getting sick

912
00:57:21.560 --> 00:57:25.420
and I'm feeling it affecting my health physically

913
00:57:26.200 --> 00:57:27.460
and emotionally.

914
00:57:27.460 --> 00:57:31.020
And in another way, I felt God call me there

915
00:57:31.020 --> 00:57:36.020
and then he must trust me that he knew

916
00:57:36.020 --> 00:57:37.260
that it was gonna be a battle

917
00:57:37.260 --> 00:57:39.860
and also may be a spiritual battle.

918
00:57:39.860 --> 00:57:41.940
But it's my question I think is like

919
00:57:41.940 --> 00:57:43.580
when I'm realizing all these things

920
00:57:43.580 --> 00:57:46.380
and people around me are start failing me

921
00:57:46.380 --> 00:57:47.740
in a way that they're getting sick

922
00:57:47.740 --> 00:57:50.900
and then it affects me and the students.

923
00:57:50.900 --> 00:57:54.740
I like, I seem to win one battle and then another pops up.

924
00:57:55.060 --> 00:57:56.740
I have a student that's rebellious

925
00:57:56.740 --> 00:58:00.580
and then I've done some things

926
00:58:00.580 --> 00:58:02.180
and I've switched into rest

927
00:58:02.180 --> 00:58:04.900
and I've changed my behavior towards him

928
00:58:04.900 --> 00:58:07.620
and then he's totally changed.

929
00:58:07.620 --> 00:58:09.340
So I see victories like that.

930
00:58:09.340 --> 00:58:11.380
But then another one pop up

931
00:58:11.380 --> 00:58:14.220
and there's rebellion there from that student.

932
00:58:14.220 --> 00:58:18.740
So I see victories, but then, yeah.

933
00:58:20.260 --> 00:58:23.860
So then I kind of part of me wanna just give up

934
00:58:23.860 --> 00:58:26.060
and then now in February, March,

935
00:58:26.060 --> 00:58:27.380
I have to choose whether or not

936
00:58:27.380 --> 00:58:28.780
to stay another school year.

937
00:58:28.780 --> 00:58:31.220
So another year and a half.

938
00:58:31.220 --> 00:58:33.420
And in my flesh, I kind of wanna just quit

939
00:58:33.420 --> 00:58:35.420
because it's too dark and it's too hard

940
00:58:35.420 --> 00:58:37.220
and I can't see it improving.

941
00:58:37.220 --> 00:58:38.900
But in another way, I'm thinking

942
00:58:38.900 --> 00:58:40.620
that's exactly what rest is,

943
00:58:40.620 --> 00:58:43.820
that I can be in turmoil and people being on sick leave

944
00:58:43.820 --> 00:58:46.260
and bad leaders and all kinds of gossip

945
00:58:46.260 --> 00:58:47.980
and bad things going on.

946
00:58:47.980 --> 00:58:50.820
And I can still be at peace and rest

947
00:58:50.860 --> 00:58:54.020
and do whatever God has me there for,

948
00:58:54.020 --> 00:58:56.540
like for a time as this.

949
00:58:56.540 --> 00:58:58.100
Maybe he wants to do something.

950
00:58:58.100 --> 00:59:01.500
If something can change in that school,

951
00:59:01.500 --> 00:59:03.780
it will affect the whole island

952
00:59:03.780 --> 00:59:06.660
because it's lots of symptoms popping up

953
00:59:06.660 --> 00:59:08.300
of a lot of healthy things going on

954
00:59:08.300 --> 00:59:10.660
that I'm just starting to see.

955
00:59:10.660 --> 00:59:12.060
So I'm kind of in my mind,

956
00:59:12.060 --> 00:59:14.740
I know I can go through this in rest

957
00:59:14.740 --> 00:59:17.260
even though the situation doesn't change.

958
00:59:17.260 --> 00:59:21.500
But when it doesn't change, it feels very frustrating.

959
00:59:21.500 --> 00:59:24.940
And I wanna kind of quit.

960
00:59:24.940 --> 00:59:26.140
I wanna just give up.

961
00:59:27.740 --> 00:59:31.220
So, and the last thing I can just mention quickly

962
00:59:31.220 --> 00:59:33.580
and Annette is also going through these things.

963
00:59:33.580 --> 00:59:35.340
And yeah, you can just choose

964
00:59:35.340 --> 00:59:37.460
what you wanna comment on or not,

965
00:59:37.460 --> 00:59:40.460
is that I wanna kind of use these Tuesdays

966
00:59:40.460 --> 00:59:44.460
or ask for your feedback about weight,

967
00:59:44.500 --> 00:59:46.220
like losing weight.

968
00:59:47.580 --> 00:59:50.820
I think like long story short,

969
00:59:52.580 --> 00:59:56.220
I put on 30 pounds and then I lost 20.

970
00:59:56.220 --> 01:00:00.180
And then I have had like a walk of doing a lot of.

971
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.120
work to lose it and to keep it. And then I come to a point where

972
01:00:05.080 --> 01:00:08.720
you kind of just, like you said, you've done so much by the tree

973
01:00:08.720 --> 01:00:13.480
of life, like the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But

974
01:00:13.480 --> 01:00:16.480
it's, and then you're sick of it. And you realize, I've done

975
01:00:16.480 --> 01:00:20.320
everything in the book, and I've gone up and down and wait. And

976
01:00:20.600 --> 01:00:22.880
I'm just sick of it. And I can't do it anymore. And I'm too

977
01:00:22.880 --> 01:00:26.320
tired. I actually am not inspired to do all these laws

978
01:00:26.320 --> 01:00:31.520
anymore. But the fact is that I am putting on weight. And how

979
01:00:31.520 --> 01:00:36.800
can you do this in rest when I can't go? I just don't believe

980
01:00:36.800 --> 01:00:39.400
in all the methods I've done the last 10 years, even though

981
01:00:39.400 --> 01:00:42.800
it made me go down in weight, it still also made me go up or you

982
01:00:42.800 --> 01:00:46.120
have to control everything in your life. And you're like, I

983
01:00:46.120 --> 01:00:50.560
can't live like that control food like that, or have to work

984
01:00:50.560 --> 01:00:54.560
out this much all the time. Like, it's impossible to live to

985
01:00:54.560 --> 01:01:00.200
be free. And for me, in in that little corner, operating from

986
01:01:00.200 --> 01:01:06.040
the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So try to Yeah, so

987
01:01:06.040 --> 01:01:10.000
those three things are have been like, yeah, yeah, Annette, like

988
01:01:10.040 --> 01:01:12.640
knows that I'm pretty structured. I like to have

989
01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:16.840
points. These are the things that are walking through right

990
01:01:16.840 --> 01:01:18.440
now. Yeah, yeah.

991
01:01:19.080 --> 01:01:23.560
Well, by the way, I have time. And so I'll just answer these

992
01:01:23.560 --> 01:01:25.880
questions. And then if y'all need to jump off, y'all just,

993
01:01:25.960 --> 01:01:30.200
you know, and y'all just let me know. And that I'm happy to stay

994
01:01:30.200 --> 01:01:33.160
on and make sure I answer these questions, though, or address,

995
01:01:33.160 --> 01:01:36.200
you know, these things that you brought up. So you'll have to

996
01:01:36.200 --> 01:01:38.440
remind me what they all are, because I'll get on a rabbit

997
01:01:38.440 --> 01:01:40.680
trail and a thought process. And then I'm like, Okay, so remind

998
01:01:40.680 --> 01:01:45.200
me of the second one. But first of all, start one place and

999
01:01:45.200 --> 01:01:47.920
then work backwards. So the whole losing weight thing, and

1000
01:01:48.040 --> 01:01:50.200
actually, you know what, let me not start there. Let me start in

1001
01:01:50.200 --> 01:01:53.800
the middle one, because it has to do with I thought of this

1002
01:01:53.800 --> 01:01:56.680
when you were talking about, you know, your job currently. And

1003
01:01:56.680 --> 01:01:58.960
then you bring when you brought up the weight, I was like, wait

1004
01:01:58.960 --> 01:02:04.560
a minute, this this ties, it's the same answer. So and I know

1005
01:02:04.560 --> 01:02:09.400
that. So understand that the reason in the so let me back up

1006
01:02:09.400 --> 01:02:11.640
just a minute and pull out of everything for a second. Just

1007
01:02:11.640 --> 01:02:14.160
remind everybody. So in the rest intensive, I do things a bit

1008
01:02:14.160 --> 01:02:20.520
differently. I actually give people the real solution. But

1009
01:02:20.720 --> 01:02:25.240
the difficult thing is it can feel completely it completely

1010
01:02:25.280 --> 01:02:28.200
unrelated to the questions that someone brings up. Yeah, but how

1011
01:02:28.200 --> 01:02:30.720
do I do it here? Or, you know, whatever. And I'm like, okay, I

1012
01:02:30.720 --> 01:02:34.040
know that seems unrelated, but I promise you that it will fix

1013
01:02:34.040 --> 01:02:36.560
this. And I know this from personal experience, and having

1014
01:02:36.560 --> 01:02:39.360
walked other people through it as well. This is the thing that

1015
01:02:39.360 --> 01:02:43.120
would fix all of these things. So just just hear me and know

1016
01:02:43.120 --> 01:02:47.520
that I promise I am addressing these things. But I'm very

1017
01:02:47.520 --> 01:02:51.160
aware, it can feel frustrating, really irrelevant, but I promise

1018
01:02:51.160 --> 01:02:57.320
you, it's the actual thing that is effective in fixing this for

1019
01:02:57.320 --> 01:03:00.160
good, not kind of like, oh, it'll just make it feel better

1020
01:03:00.160 --> 01:03:03.000
for a while. No, it'll fix it for good. Because that's what so

1021
01:03:03.000 --> 01:03:10.440
much other like sometimes what is a counseling or or mentoring

1022
01:03:10.440 --> 01:03:13.680
can do is it just kind of like make someone feel better for a

1023
01:03:13.680 --> 01:03:16.400
little bit, but it wasn't it won't help something long term.

1024
01:03:16.400 --> 01:03:20.880
So anyway, just FYI, I really go for Hey, how can we like truly

1025
01:03:20.960 --> 01:03:25.360
transform from flesh into spirit, not just kind of like

1026
01:03:25.360 --> 01:03:30.280
cope for a bit, you know, so. So anyway, as far as like, you

1027
01:03:30.280 --> 01:03:32.720
know, the whole job thing, what it is that you're struggling

1028
01:03:32.720 --> 01:03:38.080
with, you know, and and is that is in you talked about, there

1029
01:03:38.080 --> 01:03:40.840
were so many different things that I could, I could address

1030
01:03:40.840 --> 01:03:43.840
about what you were saying. But one of the things is, you were

1031
01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:47.240
saying, you know, you would walk in and you just feel the you

1032
01:03:47.240 --> 01:03:51.600
feel the spiritual weight, you feel the spiritual darkness, you

1033
01:03:51.600 --> 01:03:55.640
also talked about how people are getting sick, people are taking

1034
01:03:55.640 --> 01:03:59.240
sick days, because either just like mental sick days, or

1035
01:03:59.240 --> 01:04:01.760
they're taking physical sick days. Neither way, you're saying

1036
01:04:01.760 --> 01:04:05.560
that you're also feeling the effects of it as well. I've been

1037
01:04:05.560 --> 01:04:08.840
in spiritual, I've been in a work environment like that, that

1038
01:04:08.840 --> 01:04:13.640
affected me spiritually. And I and for me, I'm not saying that

1039
01:04:13.640 --> 01:04:16.720
this is the exactly how it's affecting you. But this is how

1040
01:04:16.720 --> 01:04:20.280
it affected me. It was like a brain fog. I would say you're

1041
01:04:20.280 --> 01:04:23.720
saying that you would like feel it is a brain fog as well. I

1042
01:04:23.720 --> 01:04:27.280
would literally walk in like a fog. I feel like I'm in the fog

1043
01:04:27.280 --> 01:04:31.920
the whole day at work. Yes, that is spiritual. That's a spiritual

1044
01:04:32.280 --> 01:04:37.960
fear, be from leadership. In other words, that leaders are

1045
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:42.360
either partnering with it, because that's how they have,

1046
01:04:42.400 --> 01:04:46.320
how would I put it, they're the ones who have the authority over

1047
01:04:46.320 --> 01:04:49.800
a place is leaders, what they allow in what they don't allow

1048
01:04:49.800 --> 01:04:52.800
in, you know, spiritually, and they're allowing things in that

1049
01:04:52.800 --> 01:04:55.080
they have no idea that they're allowing it, you know, they

1050
01:04:55.240 --> 01:04:58.280
don't do anything like that on purpose. Oh, I think my father

1051
01:04:58.280 --> 01:05:00.080
in law's home, he is, I think that that's a great

1052
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:08.800
store opening below me. Anyway, so they, and that can then it's, it's get the leaders are the ones

1053
01:05:08.800 --> 01:05:14.000
who are leaders in like spiritual sense, professional sense, personal over a home.

1054
01:05:14.640 --> 01:05:19.840
They're the ones who are, let me check my battery. Yeah. They're the ones who are providing

1055
01:05:20.640 --> 01:05:25.600
spiritual covering, covering in so many ways, but spiritual covering as well for everybody

1056
01:05:25.600 --> 01:05:30.960
underneath that system that the leaders of like, and for your instances, a school,

1057
01:05:30.960 --> 01:05:35.360
and this is not me in any way trying to, you know, declare any kind of judgment or whatever

1058
01:05:35.360 --> 01:05:39.680
over people. I'm just talking about a principle here, right? That these are the principles by

1059
01:05:39.680 --> 01:05:45.840
which things work. And so anyway, it can, it creates an atmosphere because that's what's

1060
01:05:45.840 --> 01:05:49.760
being allowed. It's what's being allowed in and what's being allowed to stay.

1061
01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:54.960
Usually because people have no idea that they're doing it. Even Christians have no idea that

1062
01:05:54.960 --> 01:06:00.160
we're talking like even really mature Christians who go around and teach everybody else can do

1063
01:06:00.160 --> 01:06:07.920
this and be allowing evil spirits and, and like spirits of deception or gossip and slander, or

1064
01:06:07.920 --> 01:06:13.280
I don't know, bullying or whatever to go on in a specific environment. And they really have no idea

1065
01:06:13.280 --> 01:06:18.400
and that they're the ones who are allowing it point is it can create one of the things that

1066
01:06:18.400 --> 01:06:27.120
can happen is it can literally create a brain fog. And so I would, I, it took me a while because

1067
01:06:27.120 --> 01:06:33.600
again, because the brain fog, when I was with certain people, why I thought, why, why can't

1068
01:06:34.160 --> 01:06:43.120
we understand one another? Why, why does black sound like white when they're talking? And I'm

1069
01:06:43.120 --> 01:06:46.640
just like, this is really, really weird. And I thought maybe it's just me. Maybe I just can't

1070
01:06:46.640 --> 01:06:50.400
get with the program. Maybe I'm not smart enough. Maybe they know more than you do or whatever.

1071
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:57.360
Finally, enough weird things started happening and enough negativity started happening that I

1072
01:06:57.360 --> 01:07:04.640
really began to wrestle it with the Lord. And so I had to, it wasn't until I noticed that when I was

1073
01:07:04.640 --> 01:07:10.400
home on weekends, it would clear up a little bit in the evenings, but usually it was the weekends

1074
01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:17.040
because I would have all a Friday afternoon, all the way through Monday morning, where I was

1075
01:07:17.040 --> 01:07:23.760
completely dissociated from that work environment that finally I would feel the fog lift and I could

1076
01:07:23.760 --> 01:07:29.200
see everything clearly until I walk in on Monday. And then I start questioning myself again.

1077
01:07:29.760 --> 01:07:34.800
And I'm like, why does everything seem so obviously clear on the weekend? But when I'm

1078
01:07:34.800 --> 01:07:41.920
actually going with everybody and I'm in someone's presence through the work day that I see everything

1079
01:07:41.920 --> 01:07:46.880
is totally, you know, I start questioning myself again. I start feeling crazy, right?

1080
01:07:48.640 --> 01:07:57.200
That's a spiritual brain fog. So anyway, point is that what I began to do is I really had to,

1081
01:07:57.200 --> 01:08:04.480
I mean, you have to intentionally work with the Lord on not succumbing to that very intentionally

1082
01:08:04.480 --> 01:08:09.760
because it's extremely powerful and you can absolutely do it because remember the kingdom

1083
01:08:09.760 --> 01:08:14.800
of God is not outside. Jesus said, the kingdom of God is within. If anyone tells you, look here and

1084
01:08:14.800 --> 01:08:18.479
there, there's the kingdom, they're wrong. He said, because the kingdom of heaven is within.

1085
01:08:18.479 --> 01:08:23.439
So you're bringing it with you and you have it within you. You're not, it's not something outside

1086
01:08:23.439 --> 01:08:28.960
of you that you're pulling on and trying to continue to have access to. So basically you're

1087
01:08:28.960 --> 01:08:35.680
just trying to build up your, and choose intentionally your identity enough with the Lord

1088
01:08:35.680 --> 01:08:44.319
that it pushes out and keeps at bay anything that would try to threaten you to deceive you

1089
01:08:44.319 --> 01:08:48.880
otherwise, that you're crazy and you start questioning you, start doubting you, et cetera.

1090
01:08:48.880 --> 01:08:56.960
So it takes a very intentional prayer. And, you know, and again, intentionally choosing that you

1091
01:08:56.960 --> 01:09:02.880
are who God says that you are to fight that kind of a thing. So just tell you that so that you can,

1092
01:09:02.880 --> 01:09:08.399
you know, intentionally do that in your times with the Lord and be very aware. But I am telling you

1093
01:09:08.399 --> 01:09:13.760
what, it can be so powerful that even though I would intentionally, I would pray. I would be

1094
01:09:13.760 --> 01:09:18.720
very intentionally, literally as the elevator doors were opening and I would be walking back

1095
01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:24.319
in, I'd be praying, okay, God, Lord, seriously, I'm going to keep my eyes on you all day. I'm

1096
01:09:24.319 --> 01:09:31.600
going to be very intentionally, you know, uh, spiritually, uh, focused on, on you and on who it

1097
01:09:31.600 --> 01:09:39.520
is that you say that I am. And, um, in order to keep all this stuff at bay. And I, I don't know

1098
01:09:39.520 --> 01:09:45.439
how to describe it. I was sometimes still succumb to it and not intentionally. It's just, it's that

1099
01:09:45.439 --> 01:09:52.640
powerful. So anyway, don't think you're crazy. It's it, it really is something outside and you

1100
01:09:52.640 --> 01:09:58.000
just choose between you and the Lord. Okay, Lord, I'm asking for, for your help in this. And, um,

1101
01:09:58.000 --> 01:09:59.840
and, uh, so with all of that.

1102
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.640
There's a lot of background to say that the same thing with this, as long as, as well as the losing

1103
01:10:04.640 --> 01:10:12.320
weight, what I would recommend to y'all is to really focus not, uh, you know, in this whole

1104
01:10:12.320 --> 01:10:20.240
shifting into rest process, stop thinking for just a bit about the shifting into rest part,

1105
01:10:20.800 --> 01:10:25.520
because with that phrase is going to come all kinds of things that you associate with it. Oh,

1106
01:10:25.520 --> 01:10:29.280
well, I'm trying to get peace or I'm trying to get clarity into making a particular decision.

1107
01:10:29.280 --> 01:10:32.880
I'm like, there's, there's a whole bunch of stuff that we can associate with the phrase

1108
01:10:32.880 --> 01:10:36.400
shifting into rest or something I need to do. I'm working too hard. How do I stop? You know,

1109
01:10:36.400 --> 01:10:41.760
how do I stop trying to what, what I would recommend that you focus on. And this is what I

1110
01:10:41.760 --> 01:10:48.560
did. This is from personal experience. This is what did it for me is this is how I learned about

1111
01:10:48.560 --> 01:10:56.240
shifting into rest is because I did this first. It didn't come after I had to choose God and that

1112
01:10:56.240 --> 01:11:04.800
he was my highest value. Not that he should be that wouldn't work because he should be my whole

1113
01:11:04.800 --> 01:11:10.000
life. You know, no, no, meaning like my whole life. I thought, Oh, it should be. And so I'm

1114
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:14.800
trying, I'm trying, I'm trying, trying, that wasn't working. I had to give up anything that

1115
01:11:14.800 --> 01:11:20.400
I wanted happening, including losing weight, including knowing the answer to a question,

1116
01:11:20.400 --> 01:11:25.760
knowing what decision I should make all kinds of things. I had to let it go and stop requiring

1117
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:32.160
in my, of my relationship with the Lord that I get this out of it. I had to stop putting any

1118
01:11:32.160 --> 01:11:35.120
obligations on my relationship with the Lord. Well, I'm going to get this out of it. I'm going

1119
01:11:35.120 --> 01:11:39.440
to get this out of it. Eventually, you know, the Lord will do this. Eventually I'll get to the end.

1120
01:11:39.440 --> 01:11:44.800
Eventually I'll, I'll learn how to endure. I'll learn how to shift. You give it all up and you

1121
01:11:44.800 --> 01:11:52.000
choose God. I choose you. Not what I get out of it from you. And then choose yourself.

1122
01:11:52.960 --> 01:12:04.880
Meaning like you enjoy you, you chew, you think you honor, enjoy, give time to give attention to

1123
01:12:04.880 --> 01:12:13.440
the things that bring you life and excitement and a thrill and laughter. And I know that that

1124
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:18.080
might sound weird, but what you're doing is, I mean, it can, can sound kind of like frivolous,

1125
01:12:18.080 --> 01:12:26.000
but what you're doing is you are actually teaching yourself to honor the, the value

1126
01:12:26.000 --> 01:12:31.760
that God placed on you and you're coming into agreement with it and you're acting on it.

1127
01:12:32.480 --> 01:12:37.280
So you're not just saying, Oh, I should know. You actually start stepping out on it.

1128
01:12:37.280 --> 01:12:42.080
Meaning like you're going to be, it means that you're now going to be giving time to things

1129
01:12:42.080 --> 01:12:47.280
that you used to think were frivolous because, well, you know what? I shouldn't be doing that.

1130
01:12:47.280 --> 01:12:52.880
I need to be doing this other step with my time. You need to start honoring this more and more

1131
01:12:52.880 --> 01:12:57.440
because you're trying to prove to yourself, you're, you're, you're choosing that, that you

1132
01:12:57.440 --> 01:13:03.200
are as valuable as God says that you are and that he enjoys you and that he delights in you. And

1133
01:13:04.080 --> 01:13:09.360
an indication of that is the life that you fill within you when you do particular things,

1134
01:13:09.360 --> 01:13:14.640
or when you spend time with particular people or you watch particular things or you whatever, right?

1135
01:13:14.640 --> 01:13:22.560
It's honor those things by spending time on them and actually act. And so don't just intentionally

1136
01:13:22.560 --> 01:13:26.480
choose it. Remember if you intentionally choose it, you'll act on it. And so that's what I mean

1137
01:13:26.480 --> 01:13:32.640
by proving it to yourself and acting on it. Remember without choosing it, in other words,

1138
01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:37.600
without having faith in it, won't, won't get anywhere because the only thing that will support

1139
01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:43.200
your action is if you actually had the faith first. So, but the thing is, if it really is faith

1140
01:13:43.200 --> 01:13:46.480
and it will be followed by action, cause just thinking that we should believe something, but

1141
01:13:46.480 --> 01:13:50.640
not actually acting on it really means we don't actually believe it. So it's that kind of a thing.

1142
01:13:50.640 --> 01:14:00.560
It's that, it's that two-sided coin. And so honor. So, so just can just choose. Don't, don't,

1143
01:14:01.280 --> 01:14:07.520
how do I put this? Let's start out like this instead of focusing so much on letting go

1144
01:14:07.520 --> 01:14:15.120
of stuff, just focus on choosing God instead of thinking, okay, well, how, you know, because

1145
01:14:15.120 --> 01:14:20.800
sometimes if we focus too much on the letting go, it's like focusing on the negative. And when,

1146
01:14:20.800 --> 01:14:25.760
when we start focusing on what it is that we want to escape from, we talked about this in the fireside

1147
01:14:25.760 --> 01:14:31.680
chat on, on Sunday, I don't know if y'all watch the recording, but we talked about this there

1148
01:14:31.680 --> 01:14:37.040
that if you focus that the more that you focus on the negative and what you want to escape from

1149
01:14:37.120 --> 01:14:42.240
the harder it is to escape because whatever you focus on, you feed. So instead of working so much

1150
01:14:42.240 --> 01:14:47.760
on, okay, what about, what am I holding on in life, holding on about my life, you know, and

1151
01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:51.600
wanting from God that I need to let go of, you know, instead of doing so much of that, that is

1152
01:14:51.600 --> 01:14:58.880
important, but instead of focusing on that, instead, choose, make God more and more valuable to you.

1153
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.700
Use that and be drawn to the positive.

1154
01:15:02.700 --> 01:15:07.400
And by doing that, you'll naturally let go instead of having to intentionally

1155
01:15:07.400 --> 01:15:09.820
so much focus on the letting go part.

1156
01:15:10.380 --> 01:15:13.700
So do that make God bigger and more valuable to you.

1157
01:15:13.700 --> 01:15:19.220
And I mean, all day, every day, just, um, let me give you an example.

1158
01:15:19.260 --> 01:15:22.980
Uh, like as soon as you wake up in the morning, First thing, you know,

1159
01:15:23.140 --> 01:15:26.140
Oh my word, God is, God is so good.

1160
01:15:26.160 --> 01:15:26.900
I choose that.

1161
01:15:26.900 --> 01:15:27.420
He's good.

1162
01:15:27.500 --> 01:15:28.260
I choose that.

1163
01:15:29.020 --> 01:15:29.500
Okay.

1164
01:15:29.780 --> 01:15:31.140
Get up, take a shower.

1165
01:15:31.380 --> 01:15:32.060
I'm going to do this.

1166
01:15:32.060 --> 01:15:32.340
Why?

1167
01:15:32.380 --> 01:15:33.100
Because I'm loved.

1168
01:15:34.140 --> 01:15:37.080
So there's, there's no obstacle to me doing this.

1169
01:15:37.080 --> 01:15:38.740
There's nothing frustrating about it.

1170
01:15:38.740 --> 01:15:40.260
There's no obligation to it.

1171
01:15:40.700 --> 01:15:41.380
I'm loved.

1172
01:15:41.460 --> 01:15:42.340
I'm not threatened.

1173
01:15:42.380 --> 01:15:42.880
I'm okay.

1174
01:15:43.660 --> 01:15:45.620
It's make it simple.

1175
01:15:45.820 --> 01:15:46.940
Don't think about all of the reasons.

1176
01:15:46.940 --> 01:15:47.260
Yeah.

1177
01:15:47.260 --> 01:15:53.700
But, and what about, and just, just make your world and each moment very simple.

1178
01:15:53.700 --> 01:15:54.420
I mean, we're adults.

1179
01:15:54.420 --> 01:15:55.300
We all know what to do.

1180
01:15:55.300 --> 01:15:58.140
We've got a routine of like, okay, well, you get up and you get ready and

1181
01:15:58.140 --> 01:16:00.740
you take a shower and you make yourself presentable, and then you go and you do

1182
01:16:00.740 --> 01:16:01.620
your job, right?

1183
01:16:01.620 --> 01:16:07.140
You go to go to work, just go through the routine of being responsible, but

1184
01:16:07.180 --> 01:16:09.020
choose it now from a different source.

1185
01:16:09.260 --> 01:16:11.220
Choose to operate from a different source.

1186
01:16:11.220 --> 01:16:13.980
Choose to operate from a different motivation, a different reason, a

1187
01:16:13.980 --> 01:16:17.740
different paradigm, a different reality, a different value system.

1188
01:16:18.500 --> 01:16:19.140
God is good.

1189
01:16:19.700 --> 01:16:23.500
And God loves me and he delights in me just because I'm me and because I'm doing

1190
01:16:23.500 --> 01:16:27.660
this and he loves the fact that I'm engaging with and appreciating an aspect

1191
01:16:27.660 --> 01:16:30.980
of creation that he created, I'm taking a shower and I'm going through all of the

1192
01:16:30.980 --> 01:16:35.140
physics that it takes that are engaged with me, taking a shower, the water

1193
01:16:35.140 --> 01:16:36.260
falling, the way that it does.

1194
01:16:36.260 --> 01:16:38.940
I mean, I'm not saying you have to think specifically through all of

1195
01:16:38.940 --> 01:16:40.100
this, but it's what I did.

1196
01:16:40.820 --> 01:16:48.820
No, because I had to connect an ethereal concept of God to reality and the water

1197
01:16:48.820 --> 01:16:54.940
falling and the water falling through physical laws and processes gave me an

1198
01:16:54.940 --> 01:16:56.460
anchor by which I could understand.

1199
01:16:56.900 --> 01:16:59.380
God created that and therefore God delights in that.

1200
01:16:59.380 --> 01:17:03.660
And so if I delight in it, I'm delighting in and appreciating that

1201
01:17:03.660 --> 01:17:05.900
God expressed himself in this way.

1202
01:17:06.340 --> 01:17:09.300
It, it gave me an anchor point to connect with them.

1203
01:17:09.540 --> 01:17:10.700
So anyway, that's what I did.

1204
01:17:10.700 --> 01:17:13.820
And I was like, Oh, God appreciates and delights in the fact that I'm

1205
01:17:13.820 --> 01:17:15.300
delighting in something he created.

1206
01:17:15.660 --> 01:17:17.620
So I would just kind of continually do it.

1207
01:17:17.620 --> 01:17:18.820
I was very simple in it.

1208
01:17:19.660 --> 01:17:24.020
Choose God that he's, that he loves me and that I'm fine.

1209
01:17:24.820 --> 01:17:28.060
And that he talks to me and that he's looking on me, delighted in me.

1210
01:17:28.100 --> 01:17:32.260
I didn't muddy the waters by wondering what sins I had recently committed.

1211
01:17:32.260 --> 01:17:35.020
If there's anything I needed to be repenting for, if there's anything bad

1212
01:17:35.020 --> 01:17:39.420
I'm thinking about unintentionally, or that I'm what I'm about to go to.

1213
01:17:39.420 --> 01:17:40.820
What does God want me to do?

1214
01:17:40.820 --> 01:17:42.820
And what decisions does he want me to make?

1215
01:17:42.820 --> 01:17:43.980
And how do I need to be obedient?

1216
01:17:44.380 --> 01:17:48.220
I didn't muddy the waters with all that because I was struggling with

1217
01:17:48.220 --> 01:17:53.180
thinking all of those things and obeying God to believe him I'd abandoned

1218
01:17:53.180 --> 01:17:56.740
believing God in order to try to do all of this stuff.

1219
01:17:57.260 --> 01:17:58.260
So it was like, okay, Lord.

1220
01:17:58.260 --> 01:18:00.860
And I told him, Lord, Lord, this Lord, I can't do both.

1221
01:18:01.260 --> 01:18:04.300
I know you intended me to put you both, but right now I can't do both.

1222
01:18:04.740 --> 01:18:08.860
So in order to use, you didn't say that I have to obey you in order to please

1223
01:18:08.860 --> 01:18:13.860
you, but you did say I had to have faith in order to please you, that

1224
01:18:13.860 --> 01:18:16.140
it is without faith, it's impossible to please God.

1225
01:18:16.140 --> 01:18:19.700
So Lord, just to do this, I'm going to abandon this for a minute.

1226
01:18:20.020 --> 01:18:21.460
And I'm just going to focus on this.

1227
01:18:21.500 --> 01:18:22.780
It didn't mean I didn't obey him.

1228
01:18:23.140 --> 01:18:24.540
Remember that's my natural state.

1229
01:18:24.540 --> 01:18:27.540
It's my heart, but I couldn't focus on it anymore.

1230
01:18:27.660 --> 01:18:30.900
I couldn't worry to make sure that I was always keeping the balls in the air.

1231
01:18:31.300 --> 01:18:34.540
It's like, okay, I'll just, and I asked God, God, would you keep the

1232
01:18:34.540 --> 01:18:39.020
balls in the air while I'm trying to obey you by having faith in you?

1233
01:18:39.660 --> 01:18:42.300
Because I can't focus on both at once.

1234
01:18:43.180 --> 01:18:48.340
So anyway, um, and once you focus on this one, you'll be able to handle both, but

1235
01:18:48.380 --> 01:18:49.780
I couldn't handle this one.

1236
01:18:49.780 --> 01:18:52.940
If I was focused on this one first, I had to focus on this first.

1237
01:18:52.940 --> 01:18:55.940
And then God gave me the capacity, but anyway, so choose that.

1238
01:18:56.260 --> 01:18:57.860
And I would also choose delighting in me.

1239
01:18:58.100 --> 01:19:01.980
If he delights in me, why not me and delight in me and choose.

1240
01:19:02.580 --> 01:19:05.340
You remember you were the thing that God first entrusted you with

1241
01:19:05.620 --> 01:19:06.940
and God most entrust you with.

1242
01:19:06.940 --> 01:19:12.460
Even when you get married, even when you have children, God, you are still the

1243
01:19:12.460 --> 01:19:14.860
thing that God most entrusts you with.

1244
01:19:15.860 --> 01:19:19.980
Um, and, uh, it doesn't mean that obviously, you know, you don't sacrifice

1245
01:19:19.980 --> 01:19:23.180
yourself or your children and your husband and whatever, that's not what that means.

1246
01:19:23.180 --> 01:19:25.980
Remember, you can only do that.

1247
01:19:26.020 --> 01:19:27.420
If you have you to give.

1248
01:19:27.940 --> 01:19:28.860
It's what Jesus did.

1249
01:19:28.860 --> 01:19:31.380
Jesus is more valuable than we are.

1250
01:19:31.420 --> 01:19:31.900
Right.

1251
01:19:32.220 --> 01:19:33.940
And yet he sacrificed himself for us.

1252
01:19:34.020 --> 01:19:34.540
Right.

1253
01:19:34.860 --> 01:19:39.260
But the only way he could sacrifice himself is if he owns himself to sacrifice.

1254
01:19:39.380 --> 01:19:40.420
So it's the same thing for us.

1255
01:19:40.540 --> 01:19:42.180
So value yourself.

1256
01:19:42.660 --> 01:19:47.780
So value, God value, you choose that he delights in you and live like that all

1257
01:19:47.780 --> 01:19:49.060
day, every day and what you're doing.

1258
01:19:49.820 --> 01:19:53.380
And then you delight, you partner with him by you delighting in you.

1259
01:19:53.780 --> 01:19:59.940
And that can, that is a big risk because we're, we can see all of the negative.

1260
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.280
And we're so afraid of the negative that we think is there that we won't even allow ourselves

1261
01:20:05.280 --> 01:20:06.280
to look at.

1262
01:20:06.280 --> 01:20:07.280
Right.

1263
01:20:07.280 --> 01:20:11.080
You know, so that's why it's a risk.

1264
01:20:11.080 --> 01:20:12.080
That's where you feel vulnerable.

1265
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:16.200
That's why we don't want to do it is we're too afraid of what we'll find.

1266
01:20:16.200 --> 01:20:21.640
And we're too afraid of what things will go under and that'll make God mad at us.

1267
01:20:21.640 --> 01:20:26.000
Because we're not doing this trust that trust that God is bigger than being mad at you because

1268
01:20:26.000 --> 01:20:29.540
of something that you do or don't do.

1269
01:20:29.540 --> 01:20:33.620
Because babies don't do anything and they're just delighted, right?

1270
01:20:33.620 --> 01:20:35.620
And they know it, right?

1271
01:20:35.620 --> 01:20:37.740
We can be that with the Lord.

1272
01:20:37.740 --> 01:20:40.140
The Lord is the one who created it to be like that.

1273
01:20:40.140 --> 01:20:43.980
So we have to take him at his word and we have to choose and we have to act on it.

1274
01:20:43.980 --> 01:20:50.500
And I know that that again, that that might sound completely unrelatable to this, but

1275
01:20:50.500 --> 01:20:55.100
and also like, well, God requires me to make certain decisions and I want to know, you

1276
01:20:55.100 --> 01:20:59.460
know, I want him to clarify what he, you know, uh, what decisions he wants to me to

1277
01:20:59.460 --> 01:21:00.460
make here.

1278
01:21:00.460 --> 01:21:07.580
And I, you'll get that by choosing this, because by choosing this, you, you clear out all of

1279
01:21:07.580 --> 01:21:11.460
the white noise that is being created by, oh my word, I got to make a decision.

1280
01:21:11.460 --> 01:21:15.580
The desperateness and the striving and the sweat is creating a whole bunch of white noise.

1281
01:21:15.580 --> 01:21:17.780
That's drowning out God's voice.

1282
01:21:17.780 --> 01:21:22.180
So if you abandon it and you choose God, seek you first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness

1283
01:21:22.180 --> 01:21:24.740
and all these things will be added into you.

1284
01:21:25.380 --> 01:21:27.300
So where's, where is it?

1285
01:21:27.300 --> 01:21:30.980
Um, Renata, would you look up a verse for me really quick?

1286
01:21:30.980 --> 01:21:36.900
Uh, Hebrews 11, six, I believe, I believe that's it.

1287
01:21:36.900 --> 01:21:44.740
Um, because that is a verse that talks about the fact that if we choose God, then everything

1288
01:21:44.740 --> 01:21:48.420
else, then, then that's how we're called to, to please him.

1289
01:21:49.780 --> 01:21:51.300
I hope I'm remembering it right.

1290
01:21:51.300 --> 01:21:52.340
I think it's 11, six.

1291
01:21:55.220 --> 01:21:58.020
I'd look it up myself, but my phone is being used as a camera.

1292
01:21:58.820 --> 01:22:00.340
Hebrews 11, six.

1293
01:22:00.340 --> 01:22:00.840
Yes.

1294
01:22:04.180 --> 01:22:06.660
Without faith, it's impossible to please God.

1295
01:22:07.540 --> 01:22:13.220
For the one I'm translating from the Norwegian for the one that was before God must believe

1296
01:22:13.220 --> 01:22:20.020
that he is, and that he is the one that seeks him or like will reward one that seeks him.

1297
01:22:20.020 --> 01:22:20.660
Yes.

1298
01:22:20.660 --> 01:22:26.740
Reward the one that seeks him, not the principles of God, not how everything works, not what

1299
01:22:26.740 --> 01:22:27.940
we're supposed to do.

1300
01:22:27.940 --> 01:22:35.380
He who seeks him that he will reward those that seek God, not what they can get out of

1301
01:22:35.380 --> 01:22:41.220
him, not how he works, not to how, not how to obey him, not what he requires him.

1302
01:22:41.940 --> 01:22:48.180
His being his essence, you know, who is God, his character, you know, and, and, and that

1303
01:22:48.180 --> 01:22:49.140
kind of thing.

1304
01:22:49.700 --> 01:22:52.500
So anyway, that's what I would recommend.

1305
01:22:52.500 --> 01:22:54.340
That is what changed everything for me.

1306
01:22:54.340 --> 01:23:00.020
That's how God began to teach me about how to operate in rest is operating from rest

1307
01:23:00.020 --> 01:23:04.820
is operating from my assuredness and my security and being unified with him.

1308
01:23:06.100 --> 01:23:12.180
Having chosen him and because, and in the process of choosing him, I had to abandon

1309
01:23:12.180 --> 01:23:15.700
everything else, but the process wasn't abandoning everything else.

1310
01:23:15.700 --> 01:23:20.500
The process was having chosen him in having chosen him, everything else fell away.

1311
01:23:21.220 --> 01:23:25.860
So again, the whole point, even though I talk about the letting go, I talk about that because

1312
01:23:25.860 --> 01:23:28.260
people, people are grabbing a hold of this.

1313
01:23:28.260 --> 01:23:29.540
So this is what they see.

1314
01:23:29.540 --> 01:23:31.380
This, this makes more sense to them.

1315
01:23:32.500 --> 01:23:41.940
If one can choose God, you know, um, that, and without focusing on this, you will, huh?

1316
01:23:41.940 --> 01:23:44.340
I'm sorry.

1317
01:23:44.340 --> 01:23:46.580
I'm just getting some tablets that I'm yeah.

1318
01:23:47.140 --> 01:23:47.620
Oh, okay.

1319
01:23:48.020 --> 01:23:50.500
Um, that you, then you will choose them.

1320
01:23:50.500 --> 01:23:55.540
So anyway, uh, that's what I would recommend, um, because that will help clarify questions

1321
01:23:55.540 --> 01:24:00.580
about a job, like whether or not you should stay there because it shouldn't be about,

1322
01:24:00.580 --> 01:24:07.220
um, it shouldn't, uh, it will be easier to know what you should do if you're not focused

1323
01:24:07.220 --> 01:24:16.100
on, um, well, you know, I could see how God would have me here because I can still operate

1324
01:24:16.100 --> 01:24:20.260
in rest and therefore, you know, it's all okay and whatever.

1325
01:24:20.260 --> 01:24:22.020
Well, well, yes, absolutely.

1326
01:24:22.020 --> 01:24:27.060
And that is wonderful, but, but does God want you to be there?

1327
01:24:27.060 --> 01:24:34.100
Or like what you said, is it, am I seeing that God actually, that all of this, um, uh,

1328
01:24:34.100 --> 01:24:36.420
you know, that I am experiencing so much weight.

1329
01:24:37.380 --> 01:24:42.900
Are they, is this basically like one of those towns that, um, that the disciples went to

1330
01:24:43.700 --> 01:24:45.620
where they wouldn't receive them?

1331
01:24:46.660 --> 01:24:49.220
And so the disciples went and offered it.

1332
01:24:49.860 --> 01:24:50.980
And what did Jesus say?

1333
01:24:50.980 --> 01:24:54.900
He said, if they don't receive you will then leave and shake the dust of the town off of

1334
01:24:54.900 --> 01:24:55.300
your feet.

1335
01:24:56.100 --> 01:24:59.860
Is this one of those where God is like, Hey, you tried.

1336
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.000
You offered your piece, it wasn't accepted.

1337
01:25:03.000 --> 01:25:05.000
So take it back with you.

1338
01:25:05.000 --> 01:25:13.000
Or is it that, hey, no, I want you, I want to, I want to reach this, this people.

1339
01:25:13.000 --> 01:25:14.000
And I want you to do it.

1340
01:25:14.000 --> 01:25:22.000
And I don't want you to take the, the obstacles as, and the resistance as any kind of a threat.

1341
01:25:22.000 --> 01:25:23.000
Which is it?

1342
01:25:23.000 --> 01:25:25.000
We can, we can see both.

1343
01:25:25.000 --> 01:25:26.000
Right.

1344
01:25:26.000 --> 01:25:27.000
But God's not a formula.

1345
01:25:27.000 --> 01:25:29.000
What does God want you to do?

1346
01:25:29.000 --> 01:25:33.000
So it's easier to actually hear what he wants us to do.

1347
01:25:33.000 --> 01:25:42.000
If we, if we release God, if we, if we, if we release the answer.

1348
01:25:42.000 --> 01:25:47.000
So in other words, okay, God, you could have me stay or you could have me leave.

1349
01:25:47.000 --> 01:25:50.000
I am open to either not.

1350
01:25:50.000 --> 01:25:51.000
Okay, God.

1351
01:25:51.000 --> 01:25:52.000
Yeah, Lord.

1352
01:25:52.000 --> 01:25:53.000
I'm willing.

1353
01:25:53.000 --> 01:25:57.000
I really don't want to, but Lord, if you want me to, I'll do it.

1354
01:25:58.000 --> 01:26:00.000
It's still create confusion because you're still no release.

1355
01:26:00.000 --> 01:26:01.000
There's still a resistance.

1356
01:26:01.000 --> 01:26:06.000
Like I'll do it more, but I don't want to, we actually have to release into it.

1357
01:26:06.000 --> 01:26:07.000
And like, okay, God.

1358
01:26:07.000 --> 01:26:09.000
I really will do whatever.

1359
01:26:09.000 --> 01:26:13.000
I no longer emotionally hold it against you.

1360
01:26:13.000 --> 01:26:15.000
Whichever one.

1361
01:26:15.000 --> 01:26:16.000
That you pick.

1362
01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:17.000
Then.

1363
01:26:17.000 --> 01:26:20.000
Then it's a lot easier to hear from God.

1364
01:26:21.000 --> 01:26:26.000
And anyway, and yeah, it's, it's a lot easier to hear from God.

1365
01:26:26.000 --> 01:26:30.000
It's a lot easier to hear, you know, the direction of what it is.

1366
01:26:30.000 --> 01:26:34.000
He really wants you to do because the, what the, the, the.

1367
01:26:34.000 --> 01:26:38.000
The waters aren't being muddied by your.

1368
01:26:38.000 --> 01:26:43.000
By your desperation or.

1369
01:26:43.000 --> 01:26:48.000
Or, or whatever, that it be a particular thing.

1370
01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:50.000
And there's nothing wrong with presenting to the Lord.

1371
01:26:50.000 --> 01:27:00.000
What it is you want.

1372
01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:02.000
But what's going to muddy the waters.

1373
01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:05.000
And what is a problem is if we can, if we hold that before the Lord,

1374
01:27:05.000 --> 01:27:07.000
like Lord, I really, really want you to do this.

1375
01:27:07.000 --> 01:27:09.000
And if you don't, well, then I'm really going to be hurt.

1376
01:27:09.000 --> 01:27:11.000
And it's going to cut. I don't want it to, I know I shouldn't,

1377
01:27:11.000 --> 01:27:12.000
but it really will damage Lord,

1378
01:27:12.000 --> 01:27:14.000
how I see you and whether or not I'm going to feel loved.

1379
01:27:14.000 --> 01:27:15.000
And then I'm going to feel scared.

1380
01:27:15.000 --> 01:27:16.000
And then I'm going to do that.

1381
01:27:17.000 --> 01:27:21.000
And it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,

1382
01:27:21.000 --> 01:27:23.000
it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a,

1383
01:27:23.000 --> 01:27:24.000
it's a, it's a, it's a.

1384
01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:25.000
If it be your will.

1385
01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:28.000
I asked that this cut past for me, but your will not mind be done.

1386
01:27:28.000 --> 01:27:30.000
And it showed that he struggled. Right. But what did he do?

1387
01:27:30.000 --> 01:27:31.000
It says he never sinned. Therefore.

1388
01:27:31.000 --> 01:27:33.000
He always released it to the Lord.

1389
01:27:33.000 --> 01:27:35.000
Okay, Lord, what, you know, I, I, I.

1390
01:27:35.000 --> 01:27:38.000
I even emotionally allow myself or to be.

1391
01:27:38.000 --> 01:27:39.000
To be a.

1392
01:27:40.000 --> 01:27:41.000
Right.

1393
01:27:41.000 --> 01:27:48.000
And was, was, I was, I was trying to let go.

1394
01:27:48.000 --> 01:27:51.000
To emotionally release myself to whatever it is that you that you to

1395
01:27:51.000 --> 01:27:52.000
tell me that you want me to do.

1396
01:27:52.000 --> 01:27:55.000
And it's a lot easier to hear the Lord if we emotionally release it.

1397
01:27:55.000 --> 01:27:56.000
And remember what I've said.

1398
01:27:56.000 --> 01:27:58.000
What I've said before, I don't remember if I said it in this program yet,

1399
01:27:58.000 --> 01:27:59.000
but.

1400
01:27:59.000 --> 01:28:00.000
Oh, I think I did.

1401
01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:02.000
I think I did in one of the teachings and then Ron,

1402
01:28:02.000 --> 01:28:04.000
you've heard me say this multiple times.

1403
01:28:04.000 --> 01:28:06.000
That it's easier to hear our spirit.

1404
01:28:06.000 --> 01:28:08.000
If we, if our soul.

1405
01:28:08.000 --> 01:28:15.000
If we allow our soul to say what it is that we really want.

1406
01:28:15.000 --> 01:28:17.000
And what it is that we're really struggling with is presented,

1407
01:28:17.000 --> 01:28:19.000
not just to ourselves and we're honest with it, but also to the Lord.

1408
01:28:19.000 --> 01:28:21.000
This is what I think.

1409
01:28:21.000 --> 01:28:28.000
We allow our soul and what we really think to have it say.

1410
01:28:28.000 --> 01:28:32.000
Then it's a lot easier to hear our spirit because our soul has felt

1411
01:28:32.000 --> 01:28:34.000
like it was acknowledged and had a voice.

1412
01:28:34.000 --> 01:28:37.000
It's important to honor every aspect of ourselves and, you know,

1413
01:28:37.000 --> 01:28:38.000
what we've been through.

1414
01:28:38.000 --> 01:28:39.000
And what we've been through.

1415
01:28:39.000 --> 01:28:40.000
And what we've learned.

1416
01:28:40.000 --> 01:28:45.000
And, but our soul.

1417
01:28:45.000 --> 01:28:47.000
So often is not in alignment with our spirit.

1418
01:28:47.000 --> 01:28:48.000
And so let it have it say.

1419
01:28:48.000 --> 01:28:59.000
While it's learning.

1420
01:28:59.000 --> 01:29:00.000
And then,

1421
01:29:00.000 --> 01:29:03.000
and then hear the spirit and then the soul is eventually going to have

1422
01:29:03.000 --> 01:29:04.000
to make a decision.

1423
01:29:04.000 --> 01:29:06.000
Does it want to go with what it wants to do and what it vocal and,

1424
01:29:06.000 --> 01:29:09.000
and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and.

1425
01:29:09.000 --> 01:29:10.000
And so let it have it say.

1426
01:29:10.000 --> 01:29:12.000
It's not going to make the decision.

1427
01:29:12.000 --> 01:29:14.000
But let it have it say first.

1428
01:29:14.000 --> 01:29:16.000
The poor things, the one that's going to have to choose.

1429
01:29:16.000 --> 01:29:18.000
And I'm going to have to live with its decision.

1430
01:29:18.000 --> 01:29:19.000
So it really needs to be.

1431
01:29:19.000 --> 01:29:21.000
Felt safe enough.

1432
01:29:21.000 --> 01:29:25.000
To make the decision.

1433
01:29:25.000 --> 01:29:27.000
That it's honored that it's acknowledged that it's remembered that

1434
01:29:27.000 --> 01:29:29.000
it's decision is being made in light.

1435
01:29:29.000 --> 01:29:31.000
Of what it vocalized.

1436
01:29:32.000 --> 01:29:34.000
And then the last thing I wanted to say about the whole, this help,

1437
01:29:34.000 --> 01:29:35.000
this to this.

1438
01:29:35.000 --> 01:29:37.000
It's the same thing.

1439
01:29:37.000 --> 01:29:38.000
About losing weight.

1440
01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:41.000
When you're choosing.

1441
01:29:41.000 --> 01:29:42.000
Your value.

1442
01:29:42.000 --> 01:29:44.000
You're choosing to honor you.

1443
01:29:44.000 --> 01:29:50.000
You're you're building up the.

1444
01:29:50.000 --> 01:29:52.000
You, if you want to express it like this, it's muscle.

1445
01:29:52.000 --> 01:29:54.000
That's a value in yourself.

1446
01:29:54.000 --> 01:29:56.000
Then you will love every part of you.

1447
01:29:56.000 --> 01:29:59.000
You'll delight in every part of you.

1448
01:29:59.000 --> 01:30:00.000
And you.

1449
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.360
will love and accept yourself exactly as you are without requiring it to change

1450
01:30:05.920 --> 01:30:07.840
and then stop making it change.

1451
01:30:09.120 --> 01:30:12.560
Um, and I do mean stop requiring anything of it.

1452
01:30:12.560 --> 01:30:21.120
If you can't exercise without, um, requiring it, uh, without, uh, holding

1453
01:30:21.120 --> 01:30:24.400
it over your body's head without seeing your body as an enemy, if you can't

1454
01:30:24.400 --> 01:30:29.040
diet and I mean like an extreme diet or whatever, uh, without holding it over

1455
01:30:29.040 --> 01:30:33.760
your, um, your body that, Hey, it needs to, it needs to respond to this.

1456
01:30:33.760 --> 01:30:36.400
It needs to lose weight because you're choosing this over choosing

1457
01:30:36.400 --> 01:30:37.520
what you really want to do.

1458
01:30:37.520 --> 01:30:43.360
And does it, uh, you know, well then, um, if you, if you are, um, if you

1459
01:30:43.360 --> 01:30:46.000
can't do that, then stop doing it.

1460
01:30:46.000 --> 01:30:48.000
Stop exercising, stop dieting.

1461
01:30:48.560 --> 01:30:52.240
I know that sounds drastic, but what you're doing is you were intent.

1462
01:30:52.240 --> 01:30:53.520
You're only doing that.

1463
01:30:54.320 --> 01:31:03.440
Trying to break, uh, your, um, uh, your, your habits of viewing your body and

1464
01:31:03.440 --> 01:31:08.480
interacting with your body conditionally, you're breaking off the conditions.

1465
01:31:09.200 --> 01:31:11.280
You stop putting conditions on it.

1466
01:31:12.080 --> 01:31:16.720
Like, okay, if I can't appropriately view my body and interact with my body,

1467
01:31:17.920 --> 01:31:21.840
doing these things without holding it over my body's head as conditions, then

1468
01:31:21.840 --> 01:31:26.400
I'm going to completely, I'm going to completely stop doing it because all

1469
01:31:26.400 --> 01:31:31.360
you're doing is you're trying to remove your association of those

1470
01:31:31.360 --> 01:31:33.200
things as being conditions.

1471
01:31:34.240 --> 01:31:36.080
You're just breaking a paradigm.

1472
01:31:36.080 --> 01:31:38.720
We're simply sorry for the barking dog.

1473
01:31:38.720 --> 01:31:40.400
You're just shifting paradigm.

1474
01:31:40.960 --> 01:31:45.680
You're not, not going to diet again or not exercise.

1475
01:31:45.680 --> 01:31:53.040
You're trying to, uh, again, act on your faith that, okay, if this is true, then I'm

1476
01:31:53.040 --> 01:31:57.680
going to prove to you body that I do love you and will fully accept you without

1477
01:31:57.680 --> 01:31:58.960
requiring of you to change.

1478
01:31:59.680 --> 01:32:03.920
And I hear that I'm, I'm even removing the conditions and in removing the

1479
01:32:03.920 --> 01:32:07.280
conditions, I now accept you fully as you are.

1480
01:32:07.280 --> 01:32:11.120
And you don't have to ever for the rest of my life, be any different.

1481
01:32:11.920 --> 01:32:20.640
You can't tell your body that without actually, um, uh, without like, um, I don't

1482
01:32:20.640 --> 01:32:24.240
know, emotionally, emotionally following up with it.

1483
01:32:24.240 --> 01:32:29.200
I mean, like you have to actually, truly believe it, choose it.

1484
01:32:30.160 --> 01:32:33.760
And then therefore feel it because your feelings will always follow what you

1485
01:32:33.760 --> 01:32:34.400
really believe.

1486
01:32:35.040 --> 01:32:39.120
So if you still struggle in your feelings, well, then it means that you're, that

1487
01:32:39.120 --> 01:32:42.160
your beliefs actually haven't, um, haven't changed.

1488
01:32:42.720 --> 01:32:48.240
Um, so, uh, anyway, so the, and then, then after you finally fully accept your

1489
01:32:48.240 --> 01:32:52.400
body, as it is not only will your body start dropping weight, probably without

1490
01:32:52.400 --> 01:32:53.200
you even doing anything.

1491
01:32:54.000 --> 01:32:56.960
Meaning like without you even knowing that you're doing anything because you'll

1492
01:32:56.960 --> 01:32:58.720
naturally start making different food choices.

1493
01:32:58.720 --> 01:32:58.960
Why?

1494
01:32:58.960 --> 01:33:01.360
Because you love you, you no longer hate you.

1495
01:33:01.360 --> 01:33:05.520
And you no longer, uh, you're no longer scared of you.

1496
01:33:05.600 --> 01:33:09.280
You're no longer scared of what, how your body's going to respond to a cookie.

1497
01:33:10.160 --> 01:33:12.320
You no longer have fear.

1498
01:33:12.320 --> 01:33:15.920
You're no longer the enemy that you have to constantly fight from the time you

1499
01:33:15.920 --> 01:33:19.200
get up to the time you go to bed, whether your body or your soul or whatever,

1500
01:33:19.200 --> 01:33:20.400
you're no longer a threat.

1501
01:33:20.400 --> 01:33:24.320
So if you're no longer a threat and you govern you, what do you want?

1502
01:33:25.280 --> 01:33:27.840
And so I found I had the biggest sweet tooth.

1503
01:33:27.840 --> 01:33:31.680
I mean, it's terrifying how much sugar that I used to be able to eat.

1504
01:33:31.680 --> 01:33:32.080
Truly.

1505
01:33:32.640 --> 01:33:34.080
It's beyond terrifying.

1506
01:33:34.080 --> 01:33:38.800
I mean, it's like, I was never bulimic, but it's kind of like what bulimics could

1507
01:33:38.800 --> 01:33:41.120
be capable, what could can do only.

1508
01:33:41.120 --> 01:33:46.000
I wouldn't throw up or anything, but I could eat a shocking amount of sugar.

1509
01:33:46.000 --> 01:33:50.800
I had that much of a, of a sweet tooth until I started to love myself until I

1510
01:33:50.800 --> 01:33:51.680
started to love my body.

1511
01:33:51.680 --> 01:33:54.960
And still I started to feel, uh, choose that I was safe with God and started

1512
01:33:54.960 --> 01:33:59.120
trying to create my own safety elsewhere in food or emotionally or whatever.

1513
01:33:59.680 --> 01:34:05.920
And then I naturally stopped wanting sugar because it, and it's not that I

1514
01:34:05.920 --> 01:34:07.040
thought sugar was bad.

1515
01:34:07.040 --> 01:34:09.360
It's like, I don't like how that makes me feel.

1516
01:34:10.320 --> 01:34:11.680
I don't like how this makes me feel.

1517
01:34:11.680 --> 01:34:14.560
I like how broccoli makes me feel, or I like how whatever makes me feel.

1518
01:34:14.560 --> 01:34:17.680
And then whenever I wanted a cookie, cause trust me, I'd still like to be, I

1519
01:34:17.680 --> 01:34:22.080
did one because I was no longer threatened by cookies.

1520
01:34:22.800 --> 01:34:24.640
It's no longer threatened by sweet.

1521
01:34:24.640 --> 01:34:27.920
So if you're no longer threatened, you find that you really don't want it.

1522
01:34:28.480 --> 01:34:30.000
And then sometimes you do.

1523
01:34:30.000 --> 01:34:32.800
And then every now and then you do want it and you let yourself eat it.

1524
01:34:33.760 --> 01:34:37.120
And, and your body's like, okay, now we can draw a drop weight because your

1525
01:34:37.120 --> 01:34:41.600
body really isn't responding to its environment as much as it's really

1526
01:34:41.600 --> 01:34:42.800
responding to your mind.

1527
01:34:44.320 --> 01:34:47.440
And, um, and whether or not it thinks that it's safe with you.

1528
01:34:48.480 --> 01:34:52.560
And then that's determining how it interacts with cookies or how it

1529
01:34:52.560 --> 01:34:55.760
interacts with water or how it interacts with sleep.

1530
01:34:55.760 --> 01:34:59.760
It's based off of how it feels.

1531
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.420
Whether or not feel safe with you as to whether or not, as to how it determines

1532
01:35:05.420 --> 01:35:06.960
how it's going to interact with this.

1533
01:35:07.260 --> 01:35:11.480
So now I can eat, um, I can eat sweets and they not bother me.

1534
01:35:11.620 --> 01:35:12.520
They not affect me.

1535
01:35:13.300 --> 01:35:14.280
I mean, sometimes they do.

1536
01:35:14.280 --> 01:35:18.760
If I start, if I start going down that path again of like using it, start eating,

1537
01:35:18.820 --> 01:35:23.660
uh, you know, start being afraid and eating my feelings and doing all of that.

1538
01:35:23.880 --> 01:35:27.060
But again, the problem shifted to my soul, not my body.

1539
01:35:27.420 --> 01:35:30.540
And then my body all of a sudden gets scared of me again, you know?

1540
01:35:31.120 --> 01:35:36.500
Um, so, but the way to do that is to value you, because if you don't value

1541
01:35:36.500 --> 01:35:40.820
you, there's no basis on which for the body or you to feel safe with you.

1542
01:35:41.660 --> 01:35:43.860
So you have to be something great.

1543
01:35:44.180 --> 01:35:46.000
You have to be as great as God says that you are.

1544
01:35:46.000 --> 01:35:48.240
You have to enjoy you as much as God enjoys you.

1545
01:35:48.240 --> 01:35:50.440
You have to delight in you as much as God delights in you.

1546
01:35:50.820 --> 01:35:54.700
It's the only thing that's going to actually have any substance and any

1547
01:35:55.300 --> 01:36:00.260
where, where the body is going to take your kingship seriously is you

1548
01:36:00.260 --> 01:36:01.900
actually have to be a real King.

1549
01:36:02.400 --> 01:36:05.760
Meaning like you have to see that that's who you are and you have to value

1550
01:36:05.760 --> 01:36:09.300
yourself as that, and you have to delight and enjoy that.

1551
01:36:09.860 --> 01:36:12.060
I honestly enjoy myself more than anybody else.

1552
01:36:12.940 --> 01:36:15.540
Meaning like I enjoy me more than I enjoy anybody else.

1553
01:36:16.360 --> 01:36:17.860
And it's because I'm here.

1554
01:36:17.860 --> 01:36:20.700
God, I see aspects of myself.

1555
01:36:21.220 --> 01:36:26.020
I see, I see aspects of God in myself that I don't see in other people.

1556
01:36:26.260 --> 01:36:28.380
And I think I love that aspect of it.

1557
01:36:28.420 --> 01:36:29.460
It's amazing.

1558
01:36:29.460 --> 01:36:30.180
It's so much fun.

1559
01:36:30.180 --> 01:36:32.260
And Oh my goodness, I get to be with it 24, seven.

1560
01:36:32.300 --> 01:36:32.980
Isn't that great?

1561
01:36:33.420 --> 01:36:35.220
Aren't I just like the most lucky person ever?

1562
01:36:36.140 --> 01:36:40.460
That's how it feels because you, you, you, you discover more about God.

1563
01:36:40.460 --> 01:36:43.340
The more that you discover about yourself on my word, he created this and on my

1564
01:36:43.340 --> 01:36:47.340
word, he delights in this and Oh my goodness, isn't this fun, you know?

1565
01:36:48.060 --> 01:36:51.020
You know but I had, I had to choose that and trust me.

1566
01:36:51.020 --> 01:36:55.100
I was, you know, very, very, very, very, very, very, very insecure.

1567
01:36:55.460 --> 01:36:58.380
Thought I was a doormat thought God's purpose.

1568
01:36:58.420 --> 01:37:02.300
My God's purpose for me in life was to be the doormat for everybody else.

1569
01:37:02.740 --> 01:37:11.100
And that they had to, that my responsibility was to God was to help

1570
01:37:11.100 --> 01:37:14.340
everybody else accomplish what they wanted in their life, whether they

1571
01:37:14.340 --> 01:37:16.900
wanted more comfort, they wanted to be able to do things and we wanted to be

1572
01:37:16.900 --> 01:37:20.180
able to accomplish things that I was supposed to make those things happen for

1573
01:37:20.180 --> 01:37:20.460
them.

1574
01:37:20.500 --> 01:37:23.660
I know that might sound crazy, but I thought that that was my existence.

1575
01:37:23.660 --> 01:37:24.740
I thought that was my purpose.

1576
01:37:24.740 --> 01:37:28.340
And I thought that ever since I was a very, very little girl somehow got

1577
01:37:29.020 --> 01:37:32.780
messed, confused interpretation of instructions.

1578
01:37:33.940 --> 01:37:36.940
So anyway, is that helpful?

1579
01:37:37.860 --> 01:37:39.460
Yeah, that's very helpful.

1580
01:37:39.540 --> 01:37:45.380
Uh, I, I feel like, Oh my gosh, it's a big, I have a big job though.

1581
01:37:45.380 --> 01:37:49.340
Or I know that it's the journey and everything, but it's, it's really

1582
01:37:49.340 --> 01:37:50.140
encouraging.

1583
01:37:50.180 --> 01:37:53.780
And at the same time, I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is far away.

1584
01:37:54.580 --> 01:37:58.460
Well, just think of it as very, the reason I pointed out, you know, choose

1585
01:37:58.460 --> 01:38:01.460
God and choose yourself is make it very simple like that.

1586
01:38:01.780 --> 01:38:06.700
Choose the good things, choose love, choose freedom, choose, um, you know,

1587
01:38:06.700 --> 01:38:11.340
when God choose, um, choose, uh, the things that you delight in, choose all

1588
01:38:11.340 --> 01:38:14.180
that go through the routine that you know, to go through, well, you know, got

1589
01:38:14.180 --> 01:38:18.100
a job and got to accomplish all this, but in the middle of all that, always

1590
01:38:18.100 --> 01:38:19.980
choose love, always choose freedom.

1591
01:38:20.180 --> 01:38:23.460
Always choose, um, you know, God delights me, always choose to delight

1592
01:38:23.460 --> 01:38:28.180
in you, enjoy, enjoy yourself, enjoy the thing, enjoy actually doing the

1593
01:38:28.180 --> 01:38:31.100
things that you enjoy doing, let yourself do them.

1594
01:38:31.780 --> 01:38:37.900
And so make life simple in that aspect, as opposed to trying to obey him,

1595
01:38:37.940 --> 01:38:41.860
trying to shift into rest, trying to not work, trying, meaning like trying

1596
01:38:41.860 --> 01:38:46.180
to not strive, trying to not sweat, trying to not do this stuff, trying to

1597
01:38:46.180 --> 01:38:50.660
stop trying, just focus on, on the good things yet.

1598
01:38:50.660 --> 01:38:53.980
And I promise you, you will shift so much faster because that's

1599
01:38:53.980 --> 01:38:56.380
the root of the problem anyway.

1600
01:39:01.380 --> 01:39:01.900
Very helpful.

1601
01:39:02.540 --> 01:39:02.940
All right.

1602
01:39:02.940 --> 01:39:03.660
Well, good.

1603
01:39:04.460 --> 01:39:04.900
All right.

1604
01:39:04.900 --> 01:39:06.420
Well, I will let y'all go.

1605
01:39:06.420 --> 01:39:08.340
It's good to get to visit with y'all.

1606
01:39:09.620 --> 01:39:09.900
Yeah.

1607
01:39:09.900 --> 01:39:11.260
Thank you so much.

1608
01:39:11.260 --> 01:39:12.020
Wow.

1609
01:39:14.780 --> 01:39:17.260
I'm gonna have to listen to this all over again.

1610
01:39:17.260 --> 01:39:18.260
Cause it was so good.

1611
01:39:20.060 --> 01:39:21.340
We all do, including me.

1612
01:39:23.820 --> 01:39:25.980
Just remember the simple stuff.

1613
01:39:26.020 --> 01:39:30.220
If, if all of that, just find all of this stuff, all of those teachings

1614
01:39:30.220 --> 01:39:34.140
that I did, you know, the first seven sessions is being like a, you know,

1615
01:39:34.140 --> 01:39:38.540
just for a bit, just, you know, just sit there, you know, if you want to

1616
01:39:38.540 --> 01:39:41.380
listen to more of them, you know, or listen to them again, you know, just

1617
01:39:41.380 --> 01:39:45.620
absorb them and whatever, but again, remember, let your spirit and soul

1618
01:39:45.620 --> 01:39:49.700
and body naturally shift without you trying to make it happen just like

1619
01:39:49.700 --> 01:39:54.220
you're, you're, you're 95% of, of our decisions anyway, come from our

1620
01:39:54.220 --> 01:39:57.340
subconscious and I believe it's reflective of what's happening in the

1621
01:39:57.340 --> 01:39:59.940
spirit anyway, you know, meaning like spiritual aspects.

1622
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.080
We can't see and just know that everything's going to change very naturally.

1623
01:40:04.080 --> 01:40:08.480
And so while God is changing them while he's shifting them, what you

1624
01:40:08.480 --> 01:40:12.400
intentionally focus on is not all of that stuff and trying to shift your

1625
01:40:12.400 --> 01:40:16.040
paradigm because God's going to shift your paradigm very naturally, you know,

1626
01:40:16.040 --> 01:40:20.640
as things adjust, because it'll happen as you choose him.

1627
01:40:21.320 --> 01:40:25.280
And then you choose to obey him and believe in him, not obey him.

1628
01:40:25.400 --> 01:40:28.000
I mean, well, it is obeying him, but let me choose a different word.

1629
01:40:28.520 --> 01:40:30.160
That will resonate a little differently.

1630
01:40:30.680 --> 01:40:37.320
We choose him and you, um, and you believe him, believe what he said about

1631
01:40:37.320 --> 01:40:39.360
you, that you really are that valuable.

1632
01:40:39.720 --> 01:40:45.320
And then act on that faith, act on that choice, act on that decision, act on that

1633
01:40:45.320 --> 01:40:52.080
intention, that God really is that what God said really is true by enjoying yourself.

1634
01:40:52.160 --> 01:40:56.600
That's the action that you follow the faith with enjoy yourself, put your money

1635
01:40:56.600 --> 01:41:00.840
where your mouth is by doing the stuff, doing the things that bring that light,

1636
01:41:01.200 --> 01:41:06.800
that, that life, that enjoyment, thoroughly enjoy the moment, you know, and whatever.

1637
01:41:07.040 --> 01:41:12.320
So just make all of it very simple, um, for a bit and don't worry about like

1638
01:41:12.320 --> 01:41:16.440
trying and, and I know it'll, it can well, I didn't know how it feels like to y'all.

1639
01:41:16.440 --> 01:41:20.880
If I were on y'all side, I would think that because I'm such a doer and I'm

1640
01:41:20.880 --> 01:41:22.080
like, yeah, but what do I do?

1641
01:41:22.080 --> 01:41:23.520
Give me something to grab ahold of.

1642
01:41:23.840 --> 01:41:28.520
I would think, yeah, but I'm afraid that if I focus only on that for a week, that

1643
01:41:28.520 --> 01:41:35.960
I will, um, I'll be a week behind in the rest of intensive, I promise you that is

1644
01:41:35.960 --> 01:41:42.480
not the case, you will, you will move faster through it by getting that right.

1645
01:41:43.680 --> 01:41:48.480
People that focus on the, all of the to-dos and the da da da, it takes

1646
01:41:48.480 --> 01:41:50.240
them longer, much longer.

1647
01:41:50.280 --> 01:41:53.760
I've done this for, I know that three years really isn't a very long time, but

1648
01:41:53.760 --> 01:41:57.760
trust me, I have gone through this with dozens and dozens of people that I'm

1649
01:41:57.760 --> 01:42:03.680
telling you that the people that, that focus on the big picture first, they're

1650
01:42:03.680 --> 01:42:08.640
the ones who ship the fastest, the most effectively in multiple areas of their

1651
01:42:08.640 --> 01:42:13.440
life, literally their world gets turned upside down because they change so much.

1652
01:42:13.720 --> 01:42:17.040
And they are, and they continually tell me, they even continue to reach out to

1653
01:42:17.040 --> 01:42:19.800
me to this day and will tell me over and over and over again for the past few

1654
01:42:19.840 --> 01:42:23.240
years, actually, I did not know life with God could be this good.

1655
01:42:23.720 --> 01:42:29.840
The people that choose this over focusing on all of this, they're the, they're those

1656
01:42:29.840 --> 01:42:37.080
people, these people, their, their road feels like they're plotting a bit harder

1657
01:42:37.160 --> 01:42:42.880
and longer, um, but everybody who comes in the Renston intensive has a tendency

1658
01:42:42.880 --> 01:42:46.240
to do this, that's why they're attracted to it, to the rest intensive, because I

1659
01:42:46.680 --> 01:42:50.160
about leading this lifestyle, like focus on what do I need to do?

1660
01:42:50.160 --> 01:42:54.440
What do I need to let go of how to, you know, I'm overanalyzing everything, tell

1661
01:42:54.440 --> 01:42:57.680
me what to do and tell me what to apply and tell me what formula to obey.

1662
01:42:57.680 --> 01:42:59.920
You know, we have a tendency to do this.

1663
01:43:00.280 --> 01:43:03.920
What I do with the rest intensive is invite us all, including me, because I'm

1664
01:43:03.920 --> 01:43:07.040
the, like the, like Paul says, you know, I'm the worst center of all of you.

1665
01:43:07.720 --> 01:43:10.560
I'm the worst at this and everybody, I had to choose.

1666
01:43:10.600 --> 01:43:12.840
I had to choose this and I invite everybody else.

1667
01:43:12.880 --> 01:43:15.600
Hey, everybody, there's actually a totally different way to live.

1668
01:43:16.240 --> 01:43:19.560
You know, instead of doing this, so we can't even shift into rest by using the

1669
01:43:19.560 --> 01:43:24.400
old method of do of overanalyzing that won't work anymore.

1670
01:43:24.560 --> 01:43:27.360
So anyway, I'll let y'all go.

1671
01:43:29.400 --> 01:43:30.640
Thank you so much.

1672
01:43:30.720 --> 01:43:37.120
It was just remember God is more good than we even know.

1673
01:43:37.560 --> 01:43:40.480
And we continue to get to discover that every single day.

1674
01:43:40.480 --> 01:43:45.520
That's his invitation to you is not to do better and to mature more, but I bet

1675
01:43:45.520 --> 01:43:50.160
every morning we wake up and his invitation is, I want you to know how much more good

1676
01:43:50.160 --> 01:43:51.680
I am than you believe yesterday.

1677
01:43:51.680 --> 01:43:56.200
When I, before you lay down to go to sleep, that's the limitation every day.

1678
01:43:59.240 --> 01:43:59.600
All right.

1679
01:43:59.600 --> 01:44:01.600
Well, I will see y'all later.

1680
01:44:02.080 --> 01:44:02.960
Have a good evening.

1681
01:44:02.960 --> 01:44:04.280
Have a great, yeah.

1682
01:44:04.640 --> 01:44:05.400
Have a great day.

1683
01:44:06.040 --> 01:44:06.520
Bye.

1684
01:44:07.720 --> 01:44:08.200
Bye.