WEBVTT

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Okay.

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Hey, Steph.

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We match today. We're both in the dark.

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Yeah.

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Get tonight, I think.

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Does mine look okay?

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Because mine updated and everything looks really weird on my end.

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Yeah.

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I mean, but you know, I can see like half of you. I mean,

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so you look fine.

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Yeah, I know.

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I even had lights on.

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Oh,

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You don't have power.

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No,

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everybody went to bed and just kind of turned the lights off and left

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me with the dogs.

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So.

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Do you have power?

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Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do. But I'm just.

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Okay.

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I'm going to try as I can get it tonight. Hey, Jonathan.

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How are you doing, buddy?

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Hi.

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You walked in the room and heard your voice and said, Hey, Ashley.

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Oh, yay.

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Hey, Jonathan.

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Dad. No, I've got a,

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I don't know if you're going to be able to see it. Let me see.

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Oh,

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I can see the fireplace going.

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Oh,

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Nice.

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So anyway.

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Yeah, but the, but the light is at the other end of the room,

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but at least you can see, y'all can see my face.

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So this will do for now. Hey, Alana.

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Hi.

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I said hi.

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And then I was muted.

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No worries.

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No worries.

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Okay.

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So I know that.

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We will have a call next.

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Next week, next Thursday,

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but we won't the week after that because week after that is the first

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night of conference.

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So.

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And the first session of the conference,

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which I think is going to start at seven central.

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I think that's right.

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I remember correctly.

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So anyway.

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Hi, everyone.

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I'm with some friends of mine that I grew up with in Turkey.

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And so that's very special. And, and my family,

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thankfully is all okay in Texas.

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My brother and sister-in-law, they, they lost their power.

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I don't know if they lost water or not, but they lost power.

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And then they went back, I think last night,

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and I hadn't heard that they needed to come back to my parents. So.

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And then Audra and Phillip, they didn't lose power. So.

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It's all good.

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And Amy, I can see that you have power and you've got water, I guess.

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Yes.

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We never lost power. So we've been really blessed.

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Water was, you know,

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some people lost water because they had their pipes first.

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And they had their pipes.

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And they had their pipes first.

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So thankfully we.

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And then Princeton.

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The whole city was shut off from water. They, the city shut it off.

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Because the treatment plant didn't have electricity.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So I think that was the only place where it was literally.

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They shut off.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I mean, it's a disaster because when your pipes first.

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You don't have electricity. First of all, I mean, it's just.

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Unbelievable.

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Just my friends and the things that I've been seeing posted on social

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media, what people have been going through my two daughters,

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two of them that live in the Dallas area, two or three of them.

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Well, all three of them lost power.

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And one of them was just for less than a day.

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And they had a gas stove.

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And they had a gas stove.

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Until today.

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Gas too.

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So they had a gas fireplace, but they have a huge house,

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so it's not going to eat the whole house.

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And they had a gas stove so they could cook.

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But yeah, still.

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Often on power, you know,

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More often on, so, but we haven't had, we've been even had a glitch.

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So.

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Yeah.

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I'm glad. Yeah.

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I know that a lot of people that I've talked to, thankfully,

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a lot of people that I know have had power and water.

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Then there there's the sprinkling of people that just,

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I'm personally connected with that.

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That have had to go without, but then there are some really.

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People going through.

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Yeah.

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What does anyone have anything to start us off with tonight?

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Yeah.

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Same here.

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I never got to ask my question from a couple weeks ago remember I was going to ask you

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and I never got to ask. Oh sorry go for it. Yeah so you know how some people say that yoga

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and karate and stuff like that is like demonic and it's idols and idol worship and false gods

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and all this and if you do it then you're in really bad trouble. So I don't believe that but

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I don't have a really good argument for it that so I just wanted to hear what you had to say about

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that. Oh well so I believe that they are that those things are how would I put it the people

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who came up with those or whatever I believe that they that they discovered things that

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God actually has created but not knowing God and not knowing where it originated from

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they they decided to they incorporated some some corrupted foundation within it and they're using

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that as its source is the source through which they're doing it because you know that source

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is a really big deal in the fact that we God calls us to rely on him as a source as opposed to

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something outside of him which would be you know the tree of life versus the tree of the knowledge

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of good and evil. Well it's the same thing with this it's just that this source being used could

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either be it could either be considered some kind of nature or it could be considered like as in

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mother nature or universe or something or it can actually be considered satan or some anyway

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something that mankind is wanting to grab a hold of and or think that it is like this source out

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there like kind of think like the star wars idea of the force some kind of the force out there

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um that they are using to that they're harnessing and trying to use through this this thing like

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yoga or or karate or whatever um and in order to give that they that they to which they are

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attributing meaning and power of what it is they're doing all the way back to this corrupted

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God or source or spirit or whatever and so I think that that's where the danger is um I don't

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think that there's anything wrong personally with yoga or with karate or or things like that but

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that um that certain people like certain teachers that are up there teaching yoga or that are

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teaching karate are in can be inviting certain demonic spirits to come in and um to have to have

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free reign to have authority they're authorizing those kinds of things to happen whether or not

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they know it I think that that kind of thing does happen um so so I do believe that they're that the

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people who talk about there being danger in it I believe that they're right however I don't believe

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that I personally believe that God is the one who originally created those things and they're

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just particularly grabbing a hold of certain principles that God created and because the

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because the church and because people that that are the sins of God and didn't know about it and

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didn't feel um didn't harm didn't find it first didn't claim it for the Lord um even if they

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didn't find it first but if they haven't claimed it for the Lord in in understanding what Paul said

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where everything is permissible but not everything is edifying if they didn't well then these other

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people have just just taken it and run with it and uh and they get to receive certain benefits

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from it but if it's all in an in an evil source then it's going to lead to nothing but death

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but it doesn't but but yeah so makes sense so that's what I personally believe

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like the secret people where they harness the power of the human mind and understand

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quantum physics and all that kind of stuff and they use it but they're crediting the universe

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the creation as the source rather than one yeah yeah anything outside of the source it could even

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now I mean any source outside of God himself like even source isn't using themselves you know man is

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the source which is why what I talk about uh you know when when we talk about things such as um uh

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How to put it that we are in Christ, and then in that position, we have a particular authority

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that we can speak in, we still have to make sure that we understand that we're doing it

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through Christ at all times, and through the blood of Christ at all times, because if,

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if we if we don't, we can just be thinking, oh, my goodness, you know, I God died for

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me a long time ago. And I therefore I can go off like the prodigal son, do whatever

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I want now. In other words, take my inheritance in leave, and try to operate apart from God.

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Well, even Christians can have can be in danger of doing that, doing that too. And then what

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they what certain people you know, who operate in yoga or what kind of other things this

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is it reiki, reiki or energy healing or, or karate, you know, martial arts, things

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like that. I do believe that the Lord is has certain principles that all of those people

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have grabbed ahold of, and added, come at them from a corrupted foundation and have

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twisted. And when the Lord began to teach me all of those things, he began to show me

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that he was in there. But what I couldn't figure out was how to extricate the true principles

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of God from the corrupted foundation from which I was hearing it. So I asked the Lord

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to to, to teach me and to bring me in contact with people who could explain to me where

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all of this stuff originated so that I'd feel safe, and safe. I'd understand in which way

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I could safely interact with principles that my God created, because I was only hearing

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about them through the approach of people who were doing it, believing it was believing

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that God man was his own God, that man was so powerful that anything that he decided

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to use to harness quantum physics for, or that he could come up with out of his own

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mind, you know, the whole idea of law of attraction, we're working with the universe

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or whatever. And I was only hearing about it from that perspective. And I didn't know

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how to how to separate it was just kind of like this wad of spaghetti. And so I had to,

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I had to ask the Lord to just kind of like, take me back to his truth in the from that

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truth, to build to build from there and to and to stop in into. And what I what he was

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able to do was because I realized that God was that God was in all those other new agey

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things that I'd heard about, it allowed me to understand and to to realize, okay, God

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is not as limited as I thought he was. So instead of starting to operate from this place,

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if I went back to the foundation, I could now you know, which was God, I could just

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progress from here, instead of looking at this and trying to extricate it, that's just

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entirely too complicated. I just went all the way back to the truth, and then would

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just just realize, okay, God is not as limited as I thought. So therefore, I need to allow

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the Lord to to reveal to me what he desires to reveal to me, as opposed to me, learning

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from this perspective, and then constantly putting limits on God of like, Oh, no, no,

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I know, that's not true. And I know God wouldn't go in that direction. I'd already seen that

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God was in areas that were had previously been unknown to me before. And it allowed

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me to be much more open to having him teach me from ground zero. That's what being exposed

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to that information did for me. But it's entirely too complicated to try to extricate it.

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And sometimes, sometimes not, but sometimes it is. Yeah, I agree. The Lord taught me to

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about to take things all the way back to the beginning. And it's so much easier to sort

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them out rather than, you know, reminded me because one time I asked the Lord about,

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you know, this law of attraction stuff. I started hearing it everywhere, you know,

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a few years back. And I was like, Okay, what's wrong with this Lord? You know,

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open mindedly? Is there something wrong with this? What's wrong with it? And that's exactly

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what he said to me. And I forgotten. He said, it's the wrong source. They're looking at.

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Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Now, another thing, you know, you can think about, you know, if you're looking

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at people, you know, looking for a biblical reference is and I've referred to this before

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in, in the video, my goodness, way back in April. I think it's Deuteronomy two, perhaps,

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where it talks about, you know, the, the Amorites, Moabites, and the Edomites were

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had been given land by the Lord, because they believed that they could take it.

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So they believe that they

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could conquer the same Anakites, the same giant group that the people of Israel

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didn't believe that they could, even though God told them that they could.

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And so these quote-unquote non-believers were held up as an example that they had believed

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that they could, and so therefore God gave it to them and wouldn't even let the Israelites

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take, claim their land from them, because God says, no, no, no, that's theirs.

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But he was, but Moses was saying, hey, look, you know, your forefathers didn't believe that

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they could take on, that they could take their land, even though God said that they could,

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but these non-believers believed it, and so the Lord has given it to them.

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Um, so I just say that as an example of, of the, of the fact that it doesn't make them,

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it doesn't mean that they believe that God would, was going to give it to them,

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but they believed that they could conquer the Anakites.

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Um, and, uh, Israelites were told by God, or Canaan, and they didn't conquer the Anakites,

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and they didn't, and didn't believe them. And it was the Israelites that were the chosen ones.

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So it's the same for us. It's like, hey, look, you're, you're my children. And,

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and I am the God who created all of these things. And I give you the promise that you can,

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that you can overcome, that you can step into you, that you can gain the benefits of,

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and all of the blessings of this thing. Um, and, uh, the non-believers are believing that

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they can do it, even though they're not even acknowledging me, but they believe that I can

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do this. So, man, I never saw that word. It's incredible. Yeah. It was very, very powerful.

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Yeah. This land that is available to us just because they believe they can.

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Yeah. I know. Isn't that wild? It doesn't say in the Bible that they believed that they believed

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God. It doesn't say that God says that he gave it to him. It says after they conquered the land,

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and it means after they believed that they could, and they conquered the land and they

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conquered the Anakites and whatever, then God gave it to them. And part of the whole God giving

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him, giving it to them could be the fact that he allowed him to overcome them. But the point is

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it doesn't ever reference the fact that it was God in whom they were believing to give them the land

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or that God had promised them that land, you know, it didn't, it doesn't ever reference that,

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but it does say that God was pleased that they knew that they could conquer. And they, and so

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therefore he allowed him to, so. Yeah. And that's the believers rejecting all of this stuff just

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because unbelievers discovered it first, you know, associate with what, you know, everyone

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calls new age and all that. And, and it's just like the enemy is so sly, isn't he? Yeah. Another,

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another example that we've talked about before is the centurion, you know, the centurion who was a,

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a, um, a Gentile, he believed that Jesus could do things that the Israelites didn't believe he could

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do. Um, that, Hey, all you have to do is just say the word and my servant will be healed. Jesus said,

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I haven't seen faith like this in all of Israel. And so he said, go, because according to what you

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believe, according to what you say, that that will come to pass. Um, uh, I'm paraphrasing there,

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but he was just, he was basically saying, you know, Jesus, I, I, I know what you can do.

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I know who you, I, he didn't say that he knew his son of God, but he was basically saying,

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I know your character. I know who you are and I know you can do this. And Jesus is like, Hey,

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you see, according to who it is that you believe that I truly am, because I am that thing you get

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to bear that you get to benefit from what it is that you agree with me about, uh, about who I am.

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Um, so, and even the non-believers can, can do that. So, you know,

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that's my own personal belief about karate and yoga.

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So I've been even in churches, you know, that don't feel right to me, you know, they either

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feel dead or they, they feel, they, they, there feels like some kind of an evil presence. Um,

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and these are people that, you know, think they, that love the Lord and, and all of that. So,

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I mean, you can find, um, uh, you can find corruption and, uh, belief in lies anywhere,

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whether it's in yoga, karate or in a church. So that's really good point. Yeah. Or on ourselves

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based on what it is that we believe. Yes. I mean, not like in ourselves, but I mean,

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it's like we even operate according to sources outside of the Lord sometimes

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and not, I'm not saying that we're like trying to come into agreement purposefully with Satan.

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this do. I'm just talking about the fact that we are choosing some source outside of the Lord.

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So it's not as it's, I don't believe it is something that we need to be very,

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not afraid of, very wary of, very, very careful. But it's not so, it's not like

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this thing that we can find in yoga is if we were to go in a yoga class is different

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than some of the things that we've already come into agreement with in our own lives

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and other places. So it, God is just wants us to understand it's all that serious. So

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right. It's outside of ourselves unless we take it as something else and allow it to control us.

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Yeah. And I don't, you know, a lot of the classes, like you said, are led by people that do attach

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a spiritual aspect to say yoga. And so, yeah, those, I don't, those are, I mean, yeah, those,

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I get that, that you can attach a spirit, spiritual significance to it. Yeah. We've

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been through a, a video of exercises that is called yoga. Yeah. You know, I, you know,

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like I said, I don't believe there's anything wrong with that, but I, I, I don't believe that

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part of what got my attention was the fact of like, wait a minute, if my God is the one who

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created a body, like a human body, why is putting it in a particular position evil?

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Unless that doesn't make any sense. My God's the one who made it possible for it to be in that

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position. So I knew that that wasn't it, that it had to be some, you know, like, like, like what

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it is that the person is believing and spiritually like inside calling on, you know, to help them or

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to, or I don't know, some kind of power that they're attributing to it. You know, it's, it's,

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it's in the, it's in the intention of the user. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Because

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it's our actions that got, that were justified never ever. It's all about intention. Yeah.

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Yeah. Evil. If, if we, and so you're talking about putting yourself in different positions,

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the body positions, you know, I'm sure you've heard people say this that are against yoga.

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Oh, well, those different positions are related to their different gods and all of that. And I'm

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like, well, I don't do that. I'm just putting my hands and feet on the floor and sticking my butt

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up in the air to get a good stretch. That's right. That's right. Well, I've heard people talk about

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things like, I don't know, not even, not even related to yoga, but about other things like

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certain architecture that, that was, that was set to, to symbolize certain things.

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And people don't realize that, oh my goodness, it's all over. All of that architecture that has

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all of these meanings is all over, you know, American, I know different capital buildings,

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or around the United States. And, and I just, and I just think, oh my goodness, people,

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aren't we taking this too far? I mean, not that that was that, that meaning wasn't attributed

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to certain shapes that they would put, but that they would put on, on buildings by that. I mean,

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like, I mean, like circled, I mean, things we don't even think about, I'm talking about like,

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like spheres or, or like triangles or whatever. And those are shapes. God created those shapes.

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And so for us to not use them, or to think that, oh, people using them for art in architecture,

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because certain, not, not certain buildings in Rome were, or they were on particular

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god and goddesses' temples in Rome. And they mean the X, Y, and Z. Well, we shouldn't use them now.

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Oh, that's silly. You know, are we going to allow someone kind of like the, the, the rainbow? Are we

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going to allow the rainbow to be taken from it? Absolutely not. You know, it's just like,

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there we go. I see that I missed a couple of, of chats from someone who even had an issue with

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salt lamps. Yes, actually, I've heard, I've heard of that issue, a lot of issues with, yeah, with

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the salt lamps. Yeah. And I don't remember what they were. I think it's based on the people who

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use them. A lot of times for people who are very, very, I don't want to say hippie, but because I

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use salt lamp, I gave, I gave Jonathan a salt lamp. I have a salt lamp. I gave Jonathan a salt lamp.

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But that the people that were doing it for a while, and that got it really popular.

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are people that are a little, little hippie, very, very organic, very recce healing energy

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healing. And because of all of this other stuff that they were involved with and the stuff that

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they were wanting the salt to help them with. I think that that is where people got to thinking

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that the salt itself was bad. It's like, Oh, anyway, you know, God just calls us to be very

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discerning. So, and to remember who we are. So, but yes, I've heard that with the salt lamps.

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I used to be one of those people that wondered if salt lamps were okay. And then I bought one

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and I gave it as a gift. And when I gave it as a gift at the time, Jonathan goes through phases,

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but at the end of the day, at that particular phase, wisdom was his favorite spirit,

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spirit of the Lord. And he had different, he had different and spirits of, of God that he,

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that he'll focus on it particular seasons. And at that time it was wisdom. Well, and some believe

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that the spirit of wisdom's color is orange and this salt lamp was orange. So I got it for him

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during that time. And I told him, I said, look, it's orange, just like wisdom. Cause he, at that

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time, he was talking to me a lot about, about wisdom, wisdom, wisdom. Anyway, and it was a

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light. I was like, Hey, the light, like, we're the light, Jonathan. And it's like, and it's salt

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with the salt and the earth. I thought it was greatly prophetic.

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It is greatly. It sits by his bed. I'll have to ask him tonight if he remembers who gave it to

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him. I'm sure he does. Although that was a busy day. Yes. It's a very busy day. Yeah. I remember

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that day. So does anyone have anything else? Another question? I don't even know what time it

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is. I went on and on about that question. It's nine 30 Eastern. I don't know what it is. Where

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are you? I'm in Louisiana. So it's central standard time. It's eight 30. Oh yeah. I just, I had to,

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I have to tap my phone sometimes a couple of times before it'll show me that the time.

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I'd left you a polo. I think three or four days ago, maybe. Did you get that one? I did. I did.

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I hadn't been able to respond to it yet. That's okay. I can't remember everything I asked on it,

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but, but yeah, if I could remember, I'd ask the questions now, but I can't remember.

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If I could remember, I'd ask the questions now, but I can't remember.

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Let me see. Oh, I remember one question and I thought that was the only question. So if you

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have more than that, I'll have to be reminded that the question that I remember is what happens

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or what, what were my thoughts on if somebody hears something from, from the Lord and they're

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like, Oh, let me think of, of, of an example, like, cause I've been in that situation before

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in a situation like this before where I thought that the Lord was saying that so-and-so was

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supposed to do something with me. And, but that other person said no, and they felt from the Lord,

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they weren't supposed to do it. And it was very confusing. And this is actually, I talk about this,

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even though y'all didn't realize this is what I was talking about. It's the same principle

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in the one called how to the purpose of goals in business or something like that.

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I don't remember. It's like session nine or 10. Cause in that specifically, I was talking about

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goals and the fact that we should have a goal that the whole point of the goal is to give us

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a direction, but that whether it's a dream or a vision that God's given us is, is that it's

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to give us a direction, but we're supposed to let go of the goal or the vision or the dream,

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because what we don't realize is, and I, and I just mentioned this maybe once, possibly twice

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in the, in the video. So it may have been missed, but the idea that we, we have a tendency to think,

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Oh, well, God is saying X and therefore it's going to look like X, Y, and Z or, or whatever.

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And we don't realize all of these assumptions that sometimes we put on what God is saying that

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we're like, Oh, well, it's so very obvious. And so very clear. This is what God's saying when we

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don't realize that actually he just said one thing and that we've made a whole lot of assumptions

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that we don't understand that we don't realize we're assuming. And, and so we think, well,

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actually God said this and really when it actually comes to pass God, what God said really did

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happen, but it looked very different from what it is that we had assumed. And so that's.

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what I've noticed when I've been in situations like what you were asking me about, you know,

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what if someone thinks one thing of that and someone else gets, you know, feel that they

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hear something from the Lord, especially about someone else, but then the other person hears a

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no, you know, or yes, or, you know, whatever. In other words, the opposite. So I've discovered

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that whenever I feel that the Lord is telling me something, especially when it involves someone

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else is to just take it very loosely and to just realize, okay, well, I, God is just,

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is just pushing me in that direction. So say for instance, that maybe if I wanted someone to be

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involved in something with me, then, and I thought that, that God was telling them, Hey, I want so

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and so to be involved with you. Well, the other person has free will and they get to choose.

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And the other person, you know, has a relationship, the Lord, and then they hear the Lord,

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but they think that the Lord wants them to do. So we really can't control how the other person

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responds. We can just know, okay, well, God's pushing me in this direction, but that direction

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might just have simply been to present the idea to the other person, or could be that the,

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that something we associate with the other person, that that spirit of that thing is to be involved

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in whatever it is that we're doing, but not so much that the other person themselves is going

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to come in and do X, Y, and Z. And we don't realize at the time that we've made all these

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assumptions because at the time we're just like, well, it's so obvious. This is obviously what God

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said, but when it actually all plays out, we realize, okay, well, what God did say did come

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to pass, but he was actually saying something very different than what all of the assumptions

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that I'd made. And that's when I realized we've made assumptions there. We do. We have no idea

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how many times that everything that we do in life, just not related to prayer. Like we're just like

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doing something in the kitchen or, or doing something with a friend. We, because of our,

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our experiences, we layer a lot of assumptions. We'll hear one thing. And then we have all of

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these associations that we make with that thing based on experience, you know, our past, our

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desires, whatever. And we, and we're so used to living like that. We don't realize it. So that

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is a huge lesson that I've had to learn with the Lord is, um, is to how to let go when he gives

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me something because I, to, to realize that just because he told me something doesn't mean I

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understand what he said. Um, and so therefore I also have to rely on him for the interpretation.

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And so I have to hold it very, very loosely, like, okay, he said this thing, but let's see how he's

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going to do it. Let's see what it's actually going to look like. Cause if he said it, you know,

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he says that, um, if you said X, Y, and Z is going to happen, then it will happen.

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Um, all we can be in control of though, is our, our, um, uh, uh, is, is our side of the interaction,

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but we don't know, um, uh, what the other person's going to do. God very rarely actually tells us

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something that someone else is, or is not going to how they are, are not going to interact with

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us and what it is they're going to choose to do for their lives and the decision they're going to

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choose to make. Sometimes he does, I'm not saying he doesn't, but some, uh, he doesn't do it as often

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as we think. So it's just something I've had to learn. So is that helpful? Yeah. So it's like

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our own assumptions can sometimes get in the way and we, we just think that it's supposed to be a

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certain way and we think we're hearing from God, but really it's not quite the way we think it

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should be in the way we think it should be. Right. Like it, God might've given us something,

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but it might be, we just might be interpreting it in our own way, but he might actually be saying

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something a little different and we've just picked it up like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like if we,

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if we're praying about something and then God brings somebody to mind, well, we, and then, um,

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uh, then what we can do is we can think, Oh, it must mean that because I can't see how it would

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mean anything else, but actually it can mean a whole lot of things that we just don't realize,

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but our God is a lot more limitless than we, than we give him credit for. And that we're in,

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in the world that we're used to interacting in, we're used to interacting in a lot of limitations.

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And so think about all of our lives. I mean, we, none of us would have ever been able to plan out

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any of any of our lives and what it is that we've lived through the amazing miracles that God's

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brought us through. I mean, you think of the story of, uh, uh, that Carrie has shared with us about,

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you know,

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the journey of the Lord's taken on, taking her on with her house. I mean, she couldn't have,

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when the Lord's given her a certain promises and whatever, she couldn't have predicted,

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Oh, this is, these are all the steps we're going to go through to get there. So, um, we just,

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we, uh, but at the time it feels like, I don't see how God could have meant anything other than X,

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when he said such and such, right. We really have to, I just have to let him, you know,

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carry the whole thing out. And, uh, I've had to have to live it out in a lot of areas and

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I'm having to live it out in certain areas right now to where God will say something.

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And I'm like, okay. So I don't really know what that means exactly. I could assume

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because I don't see how it can mean anything other than X, Y, and Z, but you know, I've learned

409
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:52.320
enough by now, Lord to know that you take, uh, that you take a very different type of a journey

410
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:58.800
than I would have, than I would be able to plan or expect. And that the end result is,

411
00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:04.080
you is, is usually colored different. And sometimes this is a totally different form

412
00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:10.880
than I would have ever expected or have ever even seen before. So anyway.

413
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:16.080
No, that makes sense. No, that, thank you for that. That totally makes sense. And I appreciate

414
00:36:16.080 --> 00:36:22.240
that. And the other thing I noticed that's coming up for me, well, there's a whole bunch of stuff

415
00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:29.040
but one thing is I realized like, and I'll be really vulnerable. I realized that I struggle

416
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:37.040
when I've been vulnerable with somebody or I've kind of put myself out there a little bit and

417
00:36:37.040 --> 00:36:43.440
I'm not getting anything back. So I'm pretty good about like being open and vulnerable, but

418
00:36:44.080 --> 00:36:50.400
if I share something and somebody doesn't respond a certain way, or they don't, I don't know,

419
00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:56.960
like, it's almost like I have this expectation that they're going to do these things because I

420
00:36:56.960 --> 00:37:01.680
was open and I was vulnerable and I'm like, okay, they're going to respond or they're going to do

421
00:37:01.680 --> 00:37:07.360
whatever. And then they don't, or they don't for a while or something. Right. And I noticed that

422
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:14.800
that's something that maybe I just noticed recently that I feel, and I don't really know.

423
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:19.120
I don't know. I don't know what I'm asking. I just noticed it. And I don't know really what

424
00:37:19.120 --> 00:37:25.120
to do about it. That's kind of like, what, what is that all about? Is it a control thing? Is it a,

425
00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:31.600
I just want to be like fed. So I get insecure because I've given over and I'm not getting back.

426
00:37:31.600 --> 00:37:37.680
Like, I don't know what it is. Well, yeah. I mean, it's, it's the very reason why we don't

427
00:37:37.680 --> 00:37:43.520
like being vulnerable is for this very reason is because we think that if we're vulnerable

428
00:37:43.520 --> 00:37:48.560
and we don't get a particular thing back in the way that we, that we wanted or that we expected

429
00:37:48.560 --> 00:37:55.760
or that we needed in order to that, then, then we feel that it's going to say something about us.

430
00:37:56.320 --> 00:38:04.160
And, and we're taking those things. So it's all based on the meaning that we've attributed to

431
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:12.320
the response that they give us or whether or not they're responding or how long it's taken

432
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:19.040
to respond. We've, we've again, assumptions that we're making and beliefs that and meaning that

433
00:38:19.040 --> 00:38:26.080
we've attached to, to the, you know, what, what's happening or not happening. Oh, well, if they're

434
00:38:26.080 --> 00:38:30.960
not getting back, well, then it means this, or if they are getting back, well, then it means this.

435
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:35.360
And it doesn't necessarily mean any of those things because there's a lot of factors that

436
00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:40.800
are involved. And especially when you're, when you're talking about relationships with other

437
00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:47.680
people, that things just, I've discovered, oh my word, oh my word, repeatedly over and over and

438
00:38:47.680 --> 00:38:55.760
over again, things don't mean the things that, that I have thought that they've meant in the

439
00:38:55.760 --> 00:39:02.240
past. I have, and I'm just going to, I'm going to be, you know, vulnerable here. I've had people

440
00:39:02.240 --> 00:39:12.960
that I've reached out to that I, and, and they have not responded either in the way that I wanted

441
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:19.840
them to, or as quickly as I wanted them to, or I don't know, whatever. And I thought, oh my good,

442
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:24.800
I started attributing all of these meanings to that. Oh, well, I just did not very important

443
00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:30.160
to them. Or they just, because if I was important to them, they would respond faster or they would

444
00:39:30.160 --> 00:39:33.760
have responded, or when they did respond, they would have responded in this way. And they didn't

445
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:39.520
respond that way or they responded to my, I don't know, whatever. And, and then come to, and come to

446
00:39:39.520 --> 00:39:46.160
find out I was someone that they actually very highly valued in their life. And they proved it

447
00:39:46.160 --> 00:39:53.360
by other things that they did, but their communic, but communication was not a big, strong point

448
00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:59.840
with them. Or, and it wasn't very, that's not how they communicated.

449
00:40:00.240 --> 00:40:09.760
care or whatever. And so I have attributed, it's like a love language, I've attributed certain

450
00:40:09.760 --> 00:40:16.240
things to certain things that I, certain actions that I do, and so therefore I expect that other

451
00:40:16.240 --> 00:40:22.960
people, me not being able to hear what other people think, I just watch their actions and then

452
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:29.680
assume that certain actions that they do mean the things that it would mean if I did those actions,

453
00:40:29.680 --> 00:40:38.160
and it's just not true. They have different meanings associated with them. So it is,

454
00:40:38.160 --> 00:40:43.120
it's all based on, we all try to interpret everybody else based on how it is we would act

455
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:49.440
and what we would mean if we were doing that and we can't burden, here's a really big thing,

456
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:57.440
we cannot burden other people. How do I do this? There's a friend that I've talked to about this

457
00:40:57.600 --> 00:41:03.920
and where I told them, I said, oh yeah, that's how I worded it. I said, I'm not going to,

458
00:41:03.920 --> 00:41:08.880
I was going through a relationship issue with a friend of mine and I told them, I said, I just

459
00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:14.880
want you to know that I promise and I commit to you that I'm not going to hold you emotionally

460
00:41:14.880 --> 00:41:24.080
responsible for what certain, for certain things that they were doing in their interactions with

461
00:41:24.080 --> 00:41:30.960
me. And by that, what I meant was that I was not going to hold them, that my, I wasn't going to

462
00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:38.000
hold them responsible in my own emotions for acting or interacting with me in a particular way

463
00:41:39.040 --> 00:41:46.720
because as if, because then I was attributing certain meanings to them that they did not mean.

464
00:41:47.600 --> 00:41:51.760
So I was trying to hold them, that I was trying to honor my relationship with them and the fact

465
00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:56.160
that I wanted them to communicate with me and not just, it wasn't just verbal or written,

466
00:41:56.160 --> 00:42:00.800
it was just kind of like the way that they interacted with me. For them to interact with

467
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:06.000
me according to who it is that they were and I told them I'm receiving you for who it is that you

468
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:12.640
are. And I, but I had to have an open conversation with them to ask, you know, ask them some questions

469
00:42:12.640 --> 00:42:16.080
about some things in order to understand what they were communicating and how they were doing it. And

470
00:42:16.080 --> 00:42:21.520
I just told them, Hey, look, you know what? I would do it a different way, but I, but I choose

471
00:42:21.520 --> 00:42:27.040
you as my friend and I choose to receive you for who it is that you are. And you get to communicate

472
00:42:27.040 --> 00:42:31.120
with me again, interaction. It wasn't like written or verbal or something. It was just, you know,

473
00:42:31.120 --> 00:42:38.800
interaction. You get to interact with me in the way that you desire to. And I will not hold you

474
00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:46.240
emotionally responsible for meaning something else than what I know you are trying to mean when

475
00:42:46.240 --> 00:42:56.160
you do that thing. I won't hold your, I won't, I won't force you to force you in to trying to

476
00:42:56.160 --> 00:43:02.240
learn my language in order to interact with me. I give you permission to be who you are and I

477
00:43:02.240 --> 00:43:07.520
will choose to receive. And I, and I told them I, this is that I commit to you that I will receive

478
00:43:07.520 --> 00:43:13.280
whatever it is that you give me in the way that you mean it, as opposed to forcing my meaning on

479
00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:20.080
your actions. But anyway, so I just thought of that just now. And when you were asking that

480
00:43:20.080 --> 00:43:24.080
question, that's something that I did in my relationship, but that was, that was, that was a

481
00:43:24.080 --> 00:43:29.520
very serious relationship. And I was, and I'm very close with that person. And so therefore it was

482
00:43:29.520 --> 00:43:34.320
one of those questions at one of those times that I had a very open, frank conversation with them,

483
00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:38.640
but I don't, with most people I know, I don't even do that with most of my family members,

484
00:43:38.640 --> 00:43:44.320
you know, but I have had to learn. I've had to learn who people are and just let them be who it

485
00:43:44.320 --> 00:43:50.240
is that they are and just take whatever it is that they give me, as opposed to constantly trying to

486
00:43:50.240 --> 00:43:58.080
figure them, figure them out and, and assume that they're meaning something. Because it's guesswork.

487
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:04.880
It is trying to learn a language without a dictionary and, and without asking them what

488
00:44:04.880 --> 00:44:10.720
it is that they're meaning. And it's just, so, but that's, that was, that's just my personal choice.

489
00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:14.560
But yeah, it does all come back to the fact that we're attributing our own

490
00:44:15.680 --> 00:44:24.640
meanings and causing someone else emotionally to be burdened on, of our interpretation based

491
00:44:24.640 --> 00:44:28.240
on our interpretation, which I know I did not grammatically say that correctly, but hopefully.

492
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:35.120
And I think, I think that's the big thing for me is like, I don't feel like I'm important.

493
00:44:35.120 --> 00:44:44.160
Like I sent, I sent a really vulnerable message to my music director with a song because she's

494
00:44:44.160 --> 00:44:49.040
been coaching me a little bit with my singing. Right. And I have another vocal instructor,

495
00:44:49.040 --> 00:44:52.880
but she gives me feedback as far as the sound that we want at our church.

496
00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:58.640
And I sent her a song like last Monday.

497
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.360
Finally, this Tuesday, I messaged her again, and she knows how much I want feedback, and she's

498
00:45:07.360 --> 00:45:11.920
super willing to give it to me, and she's the music director, right? So Tuesday, I text her,

499
00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:15.280
and I'm like, hey, are you still open to giving me feedback? I haven't heard from you.

500
00:45:16.160 --> 00:45:21.440
And she said, yeah, I read your message, and I got distracted, and other things came in,

501
00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:26.800
and I forgot. And I'm like, OK, so on one hand, I get that. But on the other hand, I'm like,

502
00:45:26.800 --> 00:45:33.600
it's been over a week. And then she said, I'm going to get to it ASAP. Well, now it's been,

503
00:45:33.600 --> 00:45:39.040
now it's Thursday night. So it's like, she's still not getting to it. And it's, this is a

504
00:45:39.040 --> 00:45:45.120
really important topic, because there's been a lot of history between her and I around this

505
00:45:45.120 --> 00:45:51.040
particular topic. And we came to a really strong agreement, yet she doesn't seem committed. She's

506
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:57.520
a week and a half, two weeks before she's responding to a song that's four to five

507
00:45:57.520 --> 00:46:02.960
minutes long that she could listen to. And it's like, I'm definitely making it mean I'm not

508
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:09.200
important. She doesn't care to actually put the effort in to do this. She's got other priorities.

509
00:46:09.200 --> 00:46:15.760
And all of that might be true, but it kind of makes me feel like, first of all, unimportant,

510
00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:21.120
and second of all, like, and there's a history with why am I a part of this team in other ways,

511
00:46:21.120 --> 00:46:26.960
like there's a bit of stuff there without going into it. And I love being a part of that team.

512
00:46:26.960 --> 00:46:33.440
But there's other stuff going on that makes me wonder. And the fact that she's not responding

513
00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:38.880
and trying to help where she said she wanted to, and she was like, all in. And now I feel like

514
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:44.720
she's not. And I don't want to bug her. I don't want to text her again about it. But and this

515
00:46:44.720 --> 00:46:49.280
is not just an isolated incident. Like I have this pattern. And I've had this pattern for a

516
00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:53.760
long time with if somebody doesn't respond, I feel like they don't care. I feel like I'm not

517
00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:59.200
important to them. And that's my default. And I know that's not necessarily the truth. But I don't

518
00:46:59.200 --> 00:47:04.640
know what to do when I'm in these situations where it's almost like it's a it's not a nice word to

519
00:47:04.640 --> 00:47:08.240
use, but it's almost like expected that they're going to get back to you. Because it's like,

520
00:47:08.240 --> 00:47:12.560
if my husband didn't text me back for like, you know, three days, and he was on vacation,

521
00:47:12.560 --> 00:47:18.480
it's kind of like, I expect that he's going to get back to me. So if he doesn't, I definitely

522
00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:23.600
make it mean those things. So what do we do? If we've talked to a person about it, if they've

523
00:47:23.600 --> 00:47:29.920
told us their side of the story, but they're still not responding, and it's like hurting us, you know?

524
00:47:31.680 --> 00:47:37.920
Yeah, yeah, you actually mentioned a very, very important word, and that is expectation. So I had

525
00:47:37.920 --> 00:47:43.200
to learn this as well. It was very, very hard. And in fact, I remember when I was first introduced

526
00:47:43.200 --> 00:47:50.160
to it, I was in college. And I was going through a very, very hurt situation. And my mom mentioned

527
00:47:50.160 --> 00:47:55.520
something like, well, Ashley, you know, you are I remember talking to her on the phone. And I think

528
00:47:55.520 --> 00:47:59.360
I was probably crying. I don't know. I was just like, I just don't feel important. And she said,

529
00:47:59.360 --> 00:48:04.400
well, actually, you can't hold other people to your expectations. And I was just like,

530
00:48:04.400 --> 00:48:12.080
that makes no sense. Because I'm like, isn't this part of human interaction is having expectations.

531
00:48:12.080 --> 00:48:18.560
But over time, I have worked on it. In other words, I've processed through it. And I've

532
00:48:18.560 --> 00:48:24.960
especially processed through it, interestingly, in with communication with other people.

533
00:48:25.680 --> 00:48:30.080
We're all do the same thing. I'll text people, you know, and they won't it'll take a while to

534
00:48:30.080 --> 00:48:41.200
get back to me. And I'm just like, I'm just not important or whatever. But I, and what,

535
00:48:42.080 --> 00:48:48.240
what I did in order to heal, because I noticed this is I had to,

536
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:57.280
um, okay, I'm trying to try to think of the words to use for it, because it was a very

537
00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:07.280
interesting transition that I made. I began to, and I mentioned this just while ago,

538
00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:14.960
I began to just receive them for who it is that for receive whatever aspect of themselves that

539
00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:22.320
they chose to give me. And yes, I've been through, I've been through, I've used this in relationships

540
00:49:22.320 --> 00:49:27.760
that were extremely important to me, not a little bit. No, we're talking very, very extreme.

541
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:35.680
Like, and like I was, I don't remember if I would cry, like, because they weren't getting

542
00:49:35.680 --> 00:49:39.360
back to me or nothing or something. I don't remember bidding, but we're talking extremely

543
00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:45.280
important. So I'm not, I'm not blowing off this question, like, yeah, this is a little thing.

544
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:51.440
No, I'm very aware of how big it is, you know, emotionally. And, and so the Lord took me through

545
00:49:51.440 --> 00:49:56.240
this time where I chose, okay. And I'm just going to use text message, for example, because that's

546
00:49:56.240 --> 00:49:59.920
one of the ways that the Lord was teaching me. It was like a text message.

547
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.800
or Facebook messages, whatever they were. And I would just send off a Facebook message

548
00:50:04.800 --> 00:50:10.280
and I would just be like, okay, what I'm doing in my interaction with him is I am choosing

549
00:50:10.280 --> 00:50:15.160
again, all everything from a place of rest. That's what we always talk about is that I

550
00:50:15.160 --> 00:50:20.680
am who God says that I am. He is who he says that he is. And that's, what's important.

551
00:50:20.680 --> 00:50:27.680
That's my anchor. That is what I, um, I get all of my affirmation from that is my identity.

552
00:50:27.680 --> 00:50:33.080
Everything else is just me interacting, um, is just me and the Lord, just dancing through

553
00:50:33.080 --> 00:50:37.240
life, interacting with their people, but I don't need them and rely on them because I'm

554
00:50:37.240 --> 00:50:43.080
not threatened if they're not there. And if they don't give me what it is that I want

555
00:50:43.080 --> 00:50:48.160
because they can't give it to me, even if they were to act the way that they, that I

556
00:50:48.160 --> 00:50:56.240
desire them to. So therefore I'm my relationships and my choice of interacting in my relationships,

557
00:50:56.240 --> 00:51:04.520
my choices of who I, who I relate to as well as how I, how I relate to them. That is that

558
00:51:04.520 --> 00:51:12.320
I'm free. Now I'm free in my relationships, um, because I no longer am held to obligation

559
00:51:12.320 --> 00:51:19.960
and I no longer hold them emotionally in my mind, obligated to anything. It's just free.

560
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:25.080
So therefore I freely give, and then I choose to just freely receive whatever they give

561
00:51:25.080 --> 00:51:32.680
to me. And that means that what's going to happen is involuntary, uh, uh, subconsciously,

562
00:51:32.680 --> 00:51:37.360
it will sometimes consciously, but a lot of times subconsciously we'll end up adjusting

563
00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:44.240
how it is that we interact with them because is if, if it's not even if we're, if we're

564
00:51:44.240 --> 00:51:50.240
being more vulnerable or if we're giving more and, and, and, uh, and, uh, communicating

565
00:51:50.240 --> 00:51:54.720
with them more than they're communicating with us, for instance, and I'm just using

566
00:51:55.360 --> 00:52:00.400
as an example, or that we communicate with them more often than they do with us, whatever.

567
00:52:01.040 --> 00:52:10.400
Then, um, uh, then we just, we end up because we don't need them now because we're choosing

568
00:52:10.400 --> 00:52:13.760
to get our identity in the Lord and our affirmation, all of that. Then we're just like,

569
00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:20.240
okay, well, I'll, I'll either continue to freely give to them without expecting them to return

570
00:52:20.240 --> 00:52:24.480
because everything that we give to someone else needs to be without expectation of a return.

571
00:52:24.720 --> 00:52:30.160
Which is really hard to do, by the way, I'm fully aware of that. And, uh, we just really

572
00:52:30.160 --> 00:52:35.200
give it like, Hey, I am freely giving, because when we're communicating to someone, especially

573
00:52:35.200 --> 00:52:40.000
vulnerably, where there's an aspect of our heart that we're giving them, I'm sharing this with you.

574
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:46.320
And it's, it's very priceless. And I'm hoping that you will treat it as priceless. And if

575
00:52:46.320 --> 00:52:53.040
they don't treat it in the way that we desire it to be treated. And, um, and it's not like

576
00:52:53.040 --> 00:52:59.680
a one-off thing that eventually we're not going to want to share ourselves with that much with

577
00:52:59.680 --> 00:53:05.920
that person. And so we'll start, we'll start pulling, uh, we'll not pulling it back, but

578
00:53:05.920 --> 00:53:11.920
we'll stop. I'm sharing that vulnerably with them because simply they just don't value it

579
00:53:11.920 --> 00:53:18.800
in the same way that we do. So we're not, it's not, um, it it's not an, uh, what's the word?

580
00:53:18.800 --> 00:53:24.800
I thought of the word, but it escaped me just now. It's, um, it's like sharing in, okay. Say

581
00:53:24.800 --> 00:53:29.680
for instance, it's like two people looking at a flower and you, and you, and you stopping by the

582
00:53:29.680 --> 00:53:34.080
road and looking at this flower and you sharing the experience with someone. That's what it's

583
00:53:34.080 --> 00:53:39.280
like when we're vulnerably giving our hearts to someone or sharing an aspect of the Lord,

584
00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:44.720
something that he created. And we're wanting other people to delight in it as much as we do.

585
00:53:45.360 --> 00:53:50.080
And if it's not being delighted in, in, in equal measure, we're going to realize, okay,

586
00:53:50.080 --> 00:53:54.960
that person doesn't value the same kinds of things that I do. And we're going to just end up

587
00:53:54.960 --> 00:53:58.720
stopping and sharing that much with them, or we can start sharing it with someone else.

588
00:54:00.480 --> 00:54:04.480
Other people are not obligated to be our friends. They're not obligated to interact with us.

589
00:54:04.480 --> 00:54:09.440
They're not obligated to be nice to us. Nobody's obligated to do anything. And so therefore we,

590
00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:14.480
I just chose into my relationships to receive whatever it is that someone else wants to give me

591
00:54:15.040 --> 00:54:21.520
of themselves and to receive it as then giving of themselves, their job in them interacting with me

592
00:54:21.520 --> 00:54:27.280
is not telling me how much I mean to them and how important I am. No, they're giving of themselves to

593
00:54:27.280 --> 00:54:31.600
me. So I'm like, okay, I will receive that. Whatever you choose to give me, I will receive

594
00:54:31.600 --> 00:54:36.560
that for what it is. And therefore I then choose how I want to then respond to that,

595
00:54:36.560 --> 00:54:42.800
to that kind of interaction. What do I want to give in return? And I can choose to or not choose

596
00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:48.800
to whatever. But it's, it's just choosing to receive what someone wants to give us of them.

597
00:54:48.800 --> 00:54:54.080
And then us then choosing what aspect of ourselves that we would like to share with someone to see

598
00:54:54.080 --> 00:54:59.920
if they rejoice in value and well, yeah, rejoicing in value. It's, it's,

599
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.320
to the same extent that we do.

600
00:55:02.320 --> 00:55:04.880
But it's important to release other people

601
00:55:04.880 --> 00:55:07.480
from the obligation and expectation

602
00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:10.760
that we have put onto the thing

603
00:55:10.760 --> 00:55:13.680
that, well, you're obligated to respond like this,

604
00:55:13.680 --> 00:55:16.280
or I expect you to respond like this.

605
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:18.040
Even if we don't say it,

606
00:55:18.040 --> 00:55:20.240
if we think it in our minds, that's the problem.

607
00:55:20.240 --> 00:55:22.800
And then why do we think they're obligated?

608
00:55:22.800 --> 00:55:25.600
Why do we expect it?

609
00:55:25.600 --> 00:55:28.840
Because we're pulling from them,

610
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:33.120
needing them because we're using them.

611
00:55:33.120 --> 00:55:35.040
And people can feel it.

612
00:55:35.040 --> 00:55:39.320
Even if other people can't articulate it,

613
00:55:39.320 --> 00:55:40.600
people can feel it.

614
00:55:40.600 --> 00:55:43.640
And usually, have you noticed that usually

615
00:55:43.640 --> 00:55:47.080
if your friendship is chased,

616
00:55:47.080 --> 00:55:49.480
I mean, like really, really, really chased,

617
00:55:49.480 --> 00:55:51.800
even if you wanted it at first,

618
00:55:51.800 --> 00:55:53.960
you suddenly don't want it,

619
00:55:53.960 --> 00:55:56.000
people can feel, huh?

620
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:57.560
What's chased?

621
00:55:57.560 --> 00:55:59.640
No, if you're being chased.

622
00:55:59.640 --> 00:56:01.880
Oh, if you're being chased, okay.

623
00:56:01.880 --> 00:56:05.440
Yeah, if you're, yeah, not the other chased.

624
00:56:05.440 --> 00:56:08.040
But if you're being chased,

625
00:56:08.040 --> 00:56:09.640
then some of that is nice.

626
00:56:09.640 --> 00:56:12.320
But if you're being chased to a certain point

627
00:56:12.320 --> 00:56:13.160
where, in other words,

628
00:56:13.160 --> 00:56:17.800
you haven't had time to respond to them chasing you,

629
00:56:17.800 --> 00:56:20.200
if you've had time to respond to them chasing you,

630
00:56:20.200 --> 00:56:22.680
a lot of times people like the fact

631
00:56:22.680 --> 00:56:24.880
that they're being chased and they respond favorably.

632
00:56:24.880 --> 00:56:26.640
But if it's not equal,

633
00:56:26.680 --> 00:56:30.240
if they're chasing faster than you've had time to respond,

634
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:32.520
people usually get very scared.

635
00:56:32.520 --> 00:56:35.160
I've had, and, or when I say scared,

636
00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:38.160
I don't mean necessarily horribly fearful.

637
00:56:38.160 --> 00:56:39.400
I just mean like they,

638
00:56:39.400 --> 00:56:41.640
it all of a sudden becomes very undesirable.

639
00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:44.440
I've had friendships like that come up

640
00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:45.880
within the past few months.

641
00:56:46.720 --> 00:56:48.800
The where I'm just like, I don't know.

642
00:56:48.800 --> 00:56:52.160
I was thinking about mine the other day

643
00:56:52.160 --> 00:56:53.640
and I thought, you know, it is so interesting

644
00:56:53.640 --> 00:56:55.440
that I'm now friends with so-and-so.

645
00:56:56.400 --> 00:57:00.520
Yeah, and I thought, and I, and for a while there,

646
00:57:00.520 --> 00:57:01.920
I wanted to be friends with them

647
00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:03.240
until they started chasing me

648
00:57:03.240 --> 00:57:05.240
and then I didn't want to be friends with them.

649
00:57:05.240 --> 00:57:08.320
But then, so I pulled back a bit

650
00:57:08.320 --> 00:57:10.200
and then it slowed everything down.

651
00:57:10.200 --> 00:57:11.680
And when it slowed everything down

652
00:57:11.680 --> 00:57:15.200
and the two of us got to be more of a cadence,

653
00:57:15.200 --> 00:57:17.280
then I enjoyed it.

654
00:57:17.280 --> 00:57:18.640
And so it was really interesting.

655
00:57:18.640 --> 00:57:23.040
It was this interesting friendship that I now have

656
00:57:23.040 --> 00:57:26.040
that is really sweet and real precious

657
00:57:26.040 --> 00:57:27.600
and I very much enjoy it.

658
00:57:27.600 --> 00:57:29.200
I was just thinking about it the other day.

659
00:57:29.200 --> 00:57:30.560
I thought, you know,

660
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:33.120
that friendship's been something very interesting.

661
00:57:34.240 --> 00:57:37.760
But it was someone that I met in another state

662
00:57:37.760 --> 00:57:40.800
and anyways, it was very, very fun.

663
00:57:40.800 --> 00:57:43.080
But point is that, yeah,

664
00:57:43.080 --> 00:57:45.880
you mentioned a very important word, expectation,

665
00:57:45.880 --> 00:57:47.200
that we should have that expectation.

666
00:57:47.200 --> 00:57:50.240
And again, we're using other people

667
00:57:50.240 --> 00:57:52.520
to get us to feel something

668
00:57:52.520 --> 00:57:54.520
or believe something about ourselves,

669
00:57:54.520 --> 00:57:56.040
yet affirm it in some way.

670
00:57:56.040 --> 00:57:58.440
It's not that we don't enjoy the person, we do,

671
00:57:58.440 --> 00:58:02.680
but we expect that whatever them interacting with us

672
00:58:02.680 --> 00:58:03.520
in a particular way,

673
00:58:03.520 --> 00:58:05.080
we're gonna take on that meaning,

674
00:58:05.080 --> 00:58:07.160
it to mean something about us.

675
00:58:07.160 --> 00:58:09.040
And if they don't do that,

676
00:58:09.040 --> 00:58:11.240
well then we're taking on a negative meaning

677
00:58:11.240 --> 00:58:13.240
and other people can't,

678
00:58:13.240 --> 00:58:15.600
our relationships with other people

679
00:58:15.600 --> 00:58:17.280
are an enslavement to us

680
00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:22.280
if we use them as opposed to a freedom,

681
00:58:23.640 --> 00:58:28.640
if we're using them to affirm us in a way that,

682
00:58:29.680 --> 00:58:32.720
and identify us in a way that only God is supposed to.

683
00:58:32.720 --> 00:58:36.680
It's actually a very enslaving relationship

684
00:58:36.680 --> 00:58:40.800
as opposed to a freeing one without obligations.

685
00:58:40.800 --> 00:58:42.560
Well, and like, I totally hear that

686
00:58:42.560 --> 00:58:43.880
and it makes so much sense.

687
00:58:43.880 --> 00:58:45.960
I think just like as you're talking,

688
00:58:45.960 --> 00:58:47.360
I'm thinking, what about the people

689
00:58:47.360 --> 00:58:50.080
that you really want in your life

690
00:58:50.080 --> 00:58:52.600
or you're already tied to like your husband

691
00:58:52.600 --> 00:58:54.840
or like for me, like my music director

692
00:58:54.840 --> 00:58:57.440
who basically is the go-between

693
00:58:57.440 --> 00:58:59.840
for me to be singing there, right?

694
00:58:59.840 --> 00:59:01.200
As part of the church, right?

695
00:59:01.200 --> 00:59:05.200
If she doesn't accept my singing,

696
00:59:05.200 --> 00:59:07.840
then I don't get put on, right?

697
00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:09.840
So I feel like in that, I'm like,

698
00:59:09.840 --> 00:59:13.240
I really want her positive approval

699
00:59:13.240 --> 00:59:14.960
and I really want,

700
00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:16.920
like I really kind of have these expectations

701
00:59:16.920 --> 00:59:19.000
on my husband, like, you know,

702
00:59:19.000 --> 00:59:22.480
there's two-way street or certain friendships,

703
00:59:22.480 --> 00:59:25.280
you know, certain friendships, definitely.

704
00:59:25.280 --> 00:59:27.000
But I know what you're saying,

705
00:59:27.000 --> 00:59:29.720
I guess it totally makes sense and I love it.

706
00:59:29.720 --> 00:59:33.720
I'm just thinking like, what about when you are so,

707
00:59:33.720 --> 00:59:35.600
you desire something so much

708
00:59:35.600 --> 00:59:38.160
and you're desiring it more than God

709
00:59:38.160 --> 00:59:39.560
and you want that feedback

710
00:59:39.560 --> 00:59:41.680
or you want that person to respond and they're not

711
00:59:41.680 --> 00:59:43.640
and you're just like kind of going crazy a little bit

712
00:59:43.640 --> 00:59:45.760
because you really want them to.

713
00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:48.200
And they're just not like, regardless of what it is,

714
00:59:48.200 --> 00:59:52.280
it could be, you know, it could be intimacy,

715
00:59:52.280 --> 00:59:55.080
it could be conversation, it could be anything.

716
00:59:55.080 --> 00:59:57.640
Like, what do you do when they're just not responding

717
00:59:57.640 --> 01:00:00.640
and there's someone that is actually really important to you.

718
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:09.840
you? Well, the nuts and bolts of it is that it's the same answer. It's just harder to do in those

719
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:17.120
situations. It's the same answer. It's kind of like, you know, rest in the fact that, you know,

720
01:00:17.120 --> 01:00:21.680
I think it was, well, somebody mentioned in a, in a comment the other day, they said, Ashley,

721
01:00:21.680 --> 01:00:26.800
it's amazing. You always give the exact same answer, no matter what question we come up with.

722
01:00:26.800 --> 01:00:32.720
I'm like, I know it's the same answer, but that's why I have a coaching intensive because

723
01:00:33.760 --> 01:00:38.880
I tell people is that I can explain all of this. I can explain rest and everything that person

724
01:00:38.880 --> 01:00:43.520
needs to know about how to operate in rest and shift into rest in any area of their life.

725
01:00:43.520 --> 01:00:48.880
I can say the entire thing in three sentences, but the, why do I have a coaching program with

726
01:00:48.880 --> 01:00:55.840
50 plus hours of teaching? Because we don't understand how to, we struggle with actually

727
01:00:55.840 --> 01:01:02.080
how to apply it. And so, so people ask me different questions that sound totally different

728
01:01:02.080 --> 01:01:06.800
from one day to the next, but it's the same answer. And then, but I just explain it in such

729
01:01:06.800 --> 01:01:12.800
a way that they can finally see how it actually applies to this specific situation. When they

730
01:01:12.800 --> 01:01:16.080
thought, oh, well, surely it's going to be a different answer this time for my completely

731
01:01:16.080 --> 01:01:20.960
different question yesterday. And it's like, no, it's the same answer. It's just, you know,

732
01:01:20.960 --> 01:01:24.960
we're not, we're not making the connection. So it's the same thing here. It's the same answer.

733
01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:32.960
It's just, it's just harder. And in the fact that God is, and so we're going to go back to an oldie,

734
01:01:32.960 --> 01:01:41.040
but a goodie. God is responsible for the results, including, you know, the fact that, Hey, well,

735
01:01:41.040 --> 01:01:49.680
I'm married to him, Lord, or, you know, in, or Lord, the only way to, for me to be on the worship

736
01:01:49.680 --> 01:01:55.920
team is through this music teacher. God's responsible for results. And we keep trying

737
01:01:55.920 --> 01:02:02.640
to, and we keep thinking I send things out of my control. So I have to control another person

738
01:02:02.640 --> 01:02:08.480
or control how they respond to me in order to get the result. It's the same, same answer.

739
01:02:08.480 --> 01:02:14.560
It's just comes in a bit of a different form. And we don't realize how this thing plays out

740
01:02:14.640 --> 01:02:22.880
in every area. It's shocking levels, but it's always the same thing is I want a particular

741
01:02:22.880 --> 01:02:28.080
result because I believe that that result is going to do something for me. It's going to mean

742
01:02:28.080 --> 01:02:35.440
it means something, whatever. And I can't let go the control. And because if I do, then it won't

743
01:02:35.440 --> 01:02:40.160
happen. And, and so then we pick between the tree of the knowledge of good and evil versus

744
01:02:40.160 --> 01:02:44.800
tree of the knowledge of good and evil versus the tree of life. Same old story.

745
01:02:46.240 --> 01:02:50.080
What are the, then what are the three sentences that you would say, like,

746
01:02:50.080 --> 01:02:53.680
would encapsulate this, that you just keep kind of repeating in different ways?

747
01:02:54.960 --> 01:03:02.240
Um, well, I'd have to, I'd have to think about him, but, uh, but, but basically the idea is, um,

748
01:03:02.240 --> 01:03:10.800
that, that in that, um, I wouldn't say it exactly like this, but this is the general idea.

749
01:03:10.800 --> 01:03:14.400
Cause I haven't ever, I haven't ever had to say it. I don't think in reasons. Well,

750
01:03:14.400 --> 01:03:21.040
no, I think I have, I think I have anyway. So, but basically the fact that, that rest is, um,

751
01:03:21.600 --> 01:03:31.280
is, um, that rest, you know, was an actual place in which we're choosing that God is, um,

752
01:03:31.360 --> 01:03:39.920
is our source by, and he creates all of our results and, um, uh, that he wants to hold

753
01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:48.720
himself responsible for all of other results in our lives. And we in, in, in the, our process of

754
01:03:48.720 --> 01:03:55.520
doing that, you know, that place of rest is actually us just choosing to be sustained by

755
01:03:55.520 --> 01:04:03.360
his character. So therefore, any question that we have in this group always goes back to that

756
01:04:03.360 --> 01:04:10.480
thing. The fact that God desires us to choose, to be sustained by his character. And he's going to

757
01:04:10.480 --> 01:04:14.880
create our, he wants to be responsible for the results after that. And the sustained by his

758
01:04:14.880 --> 01:04:19.680
character, that what that means is that whenever we're coming up against something difficult,

759
01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:24.080
we're choosing that God is who he says that he is. He's as good as the,

760
01:04:24.080 --> 01:04:27.760
the is who he says that he is to the degree that he says that he is that.

761
01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:35.520
And, um, not, and when there's a lot less to remember, I find when I'm in very difficult

762
01:04:35.520 --> 01:04:42.240
situations, I don't have to sit there and psychologically analyze. Okay. So why am I

763
01:04:42.240 --> 01:04:48.960
hurt? And what, what, uh, why am I responding this way and what triggered me? It's very,

764
01:04:48.960 --> 01:04:55.440
very easy. I know that in some way I have accusation against God and, uh, either that

765
01:04:55.440 --> 01:04:59.840
he's not loving or that he's not as loving as he says that he is, or that.

766
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.040
he's not good or he's not as good as he says he is or whatever. And that I just have to choose him,

767
01:05:05.920 --> 01:05:12.080
not the man, not how he manifests, not his results, not his gifts, not his promises,

768
01:05:12.800 --> 01:05:18.960
not what he does, but who he is. And then just like these other people, you know, that we've

769
01:05:18.960 --> 01:05:23.360
been talking about, you know, holding it, having expectations that just like those that we've

770
01:05:23.360 --> 01:05:28.800
been talking about those other people to allow God to be who he is and to manifest his character.

771
01:05:29.760 --> 01:05:34.560
That's truly loving. Someone is fully accepting them to the point, whether it be God or your

772
01:05:34.560 --> 01:05:39.360
husband or your music teacher or someone else or yourself fully expected. That's a really

773
01:05:39.360 --> 01:05:44.480
big one. Actually, there we go. I just dropped that one. That was very important for all of us

774
01:05:44.480 --> 01:05:50.720
that ourselves too, that we need to allow, um, the, these people, and we'll just talk specifically

775
01:05:50.720 --> 01:05:56.880
about God, allow him to be who he is and to just receive him like that, as opposed to dictating,

776
01:05:56.880 --> 01:06:05.520
okay, God, you're only loving if you do these things or if, or if this particular thing that

777
01:06:05.520 --> 01:06:14.720
I want works out in this way. And we think that we've created these standards of judgment

778
01:06:15.760 --> 01:06:23.120
from God himself. And God's like, no, that's the law. And while the law is holy.

779
01:06:23.760 --> 01:06:30.560
And while I did create the law, I'm calling you to operate, you know, out of my character

780
01:06:30.560 --> 01:06:38.960
and out of my character, everything that we do is always good, but it doesn't always look like

781
01:06:39.760 --> 01:06:44.480
everything that you see from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, where it's where

782
01:06:44.480 --> 01:06:48.960
that, um, according to this tree, you'd see certain things you say, oh, well, this is definitely good.

783
01:06:48.960 --> 01:06:53.760
And this is definitely evil. Well, you in, um, in the tree of life, because it's a totally

784
01:06:53.760 --> 01:07:01.440
different source. Um, we, we have to look at, um, we have to look at the inside. We have to look at,

785
01:07:01.440 --> 01:07:06.400
at the spirit of it. That gives it life in the, in that, and, and, uh, the character,

786
01:07:06.400 --> 01:07:11.200
not the manifestation of the character and our judgment of it. It's not that the man,

787
01:07:11.200 --> 01:07:16.320
it's not that God would ever manifest anything wrong or evil. It's, it's what we have to be

788
01:07:16.320 --> 01:07:24.160
careful of is what we, how we judge manifestations. That's the problem. Um, God is always going to

789
01:07:24.160 --> 01:07:31.760
manifest everything good. Um, but the reason why we can't hold him to why we have to choose the

790
01:07:31.760 --> 01:07:37.760
giver and not the gift is not that the gift is going to be bad. It's that we usually have

791
01:07:37.760 --> 01:07:44.560
preconceived ideas about, about, um, uh, the look of the gift and whether or not, and then we judge

792
01:07:44.560 --> 01:07:51.360
God according to the standard that we're holding that gift to, um, but Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego,

793
01:07:51.360 --> 01:07:59.920
you know, Abednego said that, um, you know, even if he doesn't save us from the fire, we're still

794
01:08:00.640 --> 01:08:06.000
not going to bow the knee to the golden image, meaning that they were going to choose that God

795
01:08:06.000 --> 01:08:12.800
was still loving and good. They were going to still choose his character, not whether his

796
01:08:12.800 --> 01:08:18.399
character of love and goodness decided to manifest itself as saving them from the fire or allowing

797
01:08:18.399 --> 01:08:24.880
them to burn up. They're like, that doesn't determine whether or not God's good or loving.

798
01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:30.399
And it's really easy for us to talk about a Bible story like that, where we're all just talking here

799
01:08:30.399 --> 01:08:36.160
on zoom, but it's very serious. Um, the things that we go through, my goodness, Shadrach, Meshach and

800
01:08:36.160 --> 01:08:41.520
Abednego could talk about that really. It could talk, it could say that when they were about to

801
01:08:41.520 --> 01:08:48.479
be thrown in the fiery furnace, we can say that about, you know, our husband or, you know, our

802
01:08:48.479 --> 01:08:59.520
finances or our business or our children or whatever. Yeah. And it's interesting because

803
01:08:59.520 --> 01:09:04.160
the way we relate to God in that way is probably similar to the way we relate to people, right?

804
01:09:04.240 --> 01:09:07.439
Because the way we do one thing is the way we do everything to some degree.

805
01:09:08.479 --> 01:09:15.920
It is. So if we're not trusting God fully, we're probably not trusting people fully. If we don't

806
01:09:15.920 --> 01:09:23.760
see God as, as good, we might have more fear around people too, right? And yeah, correct.

807
01:09:25.040 --> 01:09:31.359
So if we don't look to God for our identity and validation from him,

808
01:09:31.920 --> 01:09:38.960
we're kind of looking to other people for it, right? Like we're not. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

809
01:09:39.520 --> 01:09:45.200
Anyway, I know we're over time and, uh, your answer was good. It gives me some things to

810
01:09:45.200 --> 01:09:48.720
think about. I think I'm just trying to figure out like what that would look like is really

811
01:09:48.720 --> 01:09:54.400
dropping the expectations. Is it literally just like shifting into rest with that situation and

812
01:09:54.400 --> 01:09:59.920
just surrendering to it? Uh, yeah, you're talking about it.

813
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.160
talking about the communication and all of that.

814
01:10:02.200 --> 01:10:04.480
Yeah, like when you say, you know, you have to let go of the

815
01:10:04.480 --> 01:10:08.520
expectations and just kind of like, believe that God is good

816
01:10:08.520 --> 01:10:13.480
believe that God's gonna work it all out all of that. Is it when

817
01:10:13.480 --> 01:10:16.800
you when you actually drop the expectations? Does that look

818
01:10:16.800 --> 01:10:21.000
like shifting into rest and surrender and just being at

819
01:10:21.000 --> 01:10:24.200
peace? Is that what it looks like not holding them

820
01:10:24.200 --> 01:10:27.600
accountable is just being at peace and shifting into rest?

821
01:10:28.360 --> 01:10:34.720
Yeah, it all goes back to Yeah, putting on our own oxygen mask

822
01:10:34.720 --> 01:10:38.480
first between us and the Lord. And then everything else is

823
01:10:38.480 --> 01:10:41.160
going to flow from there. So once we get our identity from

824
01:10:41.160 --> 01:10:45.560
him, which can be like, we can shift into that in a moment, and

825
01:10:45.560 --> 01:10:48.920
then operate from that place, then and then, and then if ever

826
01:10:48.920 --> 01:10:50.920
we're triggered, and we shift out of it, well, then we just

827
01:10:50.920 --> 01:10:54.080
choose it and sit back in. Because we're always there,

828
01:10:54.080 --> 01:10:57.040
we're just choosing to come into alignment with it. That's what

829
01:10:57.040 --> 01:10:59.480
I'm talking about, about shifting. It's not like we pop

830
01:10:59.480 --> 01:11:03.800
in and out of it. But we're coming into alignment agreement

831
01:11:03.800 --> 01:11:07.160
with it, or we start disagreeing with it. Yeah, nope, got to come

832
01:11:07.160 --> 01:11:11.360
back into agreement with it. And so once we once we do that, then

833
01:11:11.360 --> 01:11:14.440
it's going to naturally do all of these things that we've

834
01:11:14.440 --> 01:11:17.120
talked about, we're going to naturally release someone else

835
01:11:17.120 --> 01:11:21.200
from being obligated emotionally, release them from

836
01:11:21.520 --> 01:11:28.520
from, from obligation. And, and so yeah, and releasing those

837
01:11:28.520 --> 01:11:35.520
expectations. So in that is, is all of that letting go, is

838
01:11:35.520 --> 01:11:38.920
choose is shifting interest, every time you let go, we're

839
01:11:38.920 --> 01:11:43.000
shifting more and more interest, letting those expectations go

840
01:11:43.000 --> 01:11:46.080
letting those obligations go, it's a lot harder, though, if

841
01:11:46.080 --> 01:11:49.960
you don't put on your own oxygen mask first, if you try to do the

842
01:11:49.960 --> 01:11:58.080
things before you get your identity in the Lord. And so I

843
01:11:58.080 --> 01:12:00.720
recommend, you know, shifting your identity or that's what I

844
01:12:00.720 --> 01:12:04.840
do, I shift into my identity of the Lord first. And then from

845
01:12:04.840 --> 01:12:08.160
that place, release people from from what I've been doing, which

846
01:12:08.160 --> 01:12:10.360
is releasing from the emotionally and release them

847
01:12:10.360 --> 01:12:13.160
from obligation, emotionally releasing for them from

848
01:12:13.160 --> 01:12:16.920
expectation. Yeah, it's a lot easier that way. The other way

849
01:12:16.920 --> 01:12:21.560
is just kind of is using the little bit of using the tree of

850
01:12:21.560 --> 01:12:25.120
the knowledge of good and evil, not exactly, but kind of, and

851
01:12:25.120 --> 01:12:28.640
the fact that we're working for it, as opposed to it coming out

852
01:12:28.640 --> 01:12:29.960
of who it is that we are.

853
01:12:30.840 --> 01:12:35.800
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. How often would you say you're actually in

854
01:12:35.800 --> 01:12:38.400
rest? Like when you're awake, would you say like 90% of the

855
01:12:38.400 --> 01:12:41.880
time 70%? Like, are you in it a lot? Or do you find that you

856
01:12:41.880 --> 01:12:44.160
come out of it? And you're like, Oh, my goodness, I'm not in

857
01:12:44.160 --> 01:12:46.120
rest. And then you shift back in?

858
01:12:47.760 --> 01:12:55.640
It's a, well, it's not necessarily shifted in. The

859
01:12:55.640 --> 01:12:58.960
whole idea of shifting into rest is surrendering more and more

860
01:12:58.960 --> 01:13:08.600
aspects of myself, my beliefs. And, you know, to the Lord, and

861
01:13:08.600 --> 01:13:11.800
coming into alignment and agreement with who he is, and

862
01:13:11.800 --> 01:13:15.960
who he says he is. So and then into what, to what degree I come

863
01:13:15.960 --> 01:13:19.560
into alignment and agreement, I'm in rest in that particular

864
01:13:19.560 --> 01:13:23.200
area and to that particular level. So it's not like, oh, I'm

865
01:13:23.200 --> 01:13:27.480
just shifted into rest today. Or now I'm not shifted into rest or

866
01:13:27.480 --> 01:13:31.480
I'm shifted into rest for, you know, in all of the areas of my

867
01:13:31.480 --> 01:13:36.080
life, you know, in this moment, and then I'm shifted out. It's

868
01:13:36.080 --> 01:13:39.520
not it's there's different, it's different areas of my life that

869
01:13:39.520 --> 01:13:43.600
I'm shifted more and more into coming into agreement and

870
01:13:43.600 --> 01:13:47.160
alignment with what it is that God says is actually true in

871
01:13:47.160 --> 01:13:51.640
that area of my life. And to that degree, I'm able to receive

872
01:13:51.640 --> 01:13:55.080
the benefits of rest from the Lord. So it's not like, oh,

873
01:13:55.080 --> 01:13:58.280
well, I'm at rest 90% of the time or whatever. I can tell you

874
01:13:58.280 --> 01:14:02.480
that I was visiting with a friend of mine, maybe two weeks

875
01:14:02.480 --> 01:14:06.520
ago. And he said that he's noticed a huge difference in me

876
01:14:06.560 --> 01:14:12.000
just in these past, I think, two months. And that's just within

877
01:14:12.040 --> 01:14:16.480
two months. You know, that's not and that's not to mention, you

878
01:14:16.480 --> 01:14:20.000
know, the past year, the past year and a half. Because I'm

879
01:14:20.000 --> 01:14:26.880
just continually moving into new areas and into deeper levels in

880
01:14:26.880 --> 01:14:27.880
old areas.

881
01:14:28.160 --> 01:14:32.920
Yes, that's exactly Yeah. Yeah. That's what I think happening,

882
01:14:32.920 --> 01:14:36.360
right? Like, because I was more at rest with my business, I felt

883
01:14:36.360 --> 01:14:39.440
like that was good. And now it's like, I'm accessing these deeper

884
01:14:39.480 --> 01:14:44.800
levels of old patterns. And it's, you know, now that I'm

885
01:14:44.800 --> 01:14:48.280
aware of them, it's like wanting to shift into that place of rest

886
01:14:48.320 --> 01:14:52.080
in those situations, which is hard. Like, I mean, it's not

887
01:14:52.080 --> 01:14:56.360
hard, but it's hard to let go of programming that you've had for

888
01:14:56.360 --> 01:14:59.880
so long, because you've believed it for so long. Yeah.

889
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.480
It's like really surrendering that to God.

890
01:15:02.480 --> 01:15:02.820
Right.

891
01:15:02.820 --> 01:15:04.980
And yeah, yeah.

892
01:15:05.960 --> 01:15:06.240
Believe.

893
01:15:06.240 --> 01:15:06.600
Yeah.

894
01:15:08.040 --> 01:15:08.280
Yeah.

895
01:15:09.400 --> 01:15:09.960
Good.

896
01:15:10.800 --> 01:15:14.000
Well, it was good to get, just talk to everybody tonight.

897
01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:15.600
I'm glad y'all came on.

898
01:15:15.760 --> 01:15:19.760
It's good to see y'all and I will see y'all next week.

899
01:15:20.100 --> 01:15:24.120
And then the week after that, we won't have a call.

900
01:15:24.440 --> 01:15:28.960
So anyway, because it will, we're doing the conference.

901
01:15:28.960 --> 01:15:32.200
So anyway, so hope y'all have a good night.

902
01:15:32.640 --> 01:15:33.120
Okay.

903
01:15:33.120 --> 01:15:33.760
Have a good night.

904
01:15:33.760 --> 01:15:34.400
Have fun.

905
01:15:35.080 --> 01:15:35.760
Bye.