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It's very good to see everybody and as everyone sees we have Renata up at three in the morning from Norway.

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So,

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I'm not even sure if I have that commitment.

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It's wonderful. We're so excited to have you with us. Oh, thank you.

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All right.

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Hello everyone.

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I am at some friends house down in Atlanta, Georgia, which is very exciting. It means I get to see Lindsay tomorrow. It's been a while since I've seen her.

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And, and that we've gotten to visit I know I'm excited.

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So anyway, I'm in my friend's kitchen at the moment I was upstairs in my room that I'm staying in at my friend's house, but apparently the internet, I kept freezing so the internet wasn't great up there so the access so.

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So, my friend is watching and I guess it's football, it's some kind of a sport over there. And

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so you may hear that in the background, but

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anyway, I just started down here to see several friends, and for the day, and then I'm going to see Lindsay tomorrow morning for brunch, and then I'm headed out.

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So, headed back to Charlotte to be with my husband so very excited to see him. I know it's just been a few hours.

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That's what happens.

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Great.

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Well, okay so does anyone have something to start us off with.

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It's our first fireside chat for the rest lifestyle so the past few times that we've met you know they've been the rest groups.

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I've gotten to y'all all gotten to like visit and everything this first time like we're all like together for the whole hour, and which is, which I always really enjoy because I enjoy the rest groups.

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So I'm going to have to figure out something else to do because I can't be in all of the rooms at the same time so I don't get to be with all of my like favorite people, because I'm always only with half of them and the other half are in another room

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So I'm like, I'm gonna have to, I think my husband figured out how I could get to watch everybody that I would just like create separate.

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I won't explain it all to y'all but I'll be able to break everything out and be able to record everything. So I can at least get to be with everybody later.

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I can at least like watch everybody's later so I feel like I've missed so much, and I get to miss my friends when I can only can be in one group at a time.

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So, my favorites are the fireside chat, because I get to be with everybody at the same time.

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So does anyone have anything that they would like to start us off with any questions that have come up, or, or, I don't know anything that you'd like to kind of like start us off with by sharing like where it is that you are.

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You know with the Lord or anything like that.

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Oh, I'm good. Thank you, though. I appreciate it. I'll let you have all this. We had sushi. So, no, it is all yours. I'm just, I hope you don't mind I'm doing my meeting down here because the internet wasn't, I couldn't get proper internet for my

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zoom. Yeah. Oh yeah, it's great. So I hope that's okay.

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If you hear the parrot that Samson, so he might chime in periodically start talking. So anyway, does anyone have something to start us off with.

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You know me I could always try to pull something out of a hat but y'all are usually really good and you give me something.

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Yeah.

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This, I mean, this was one of the hardest weeks of my life, I would have to say.

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Monday.

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Well, you know I'm doing the radiation therapy and that's going really well. I've had 13, and I only have two left so that's been really well.

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Anyway, on Monday.

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You know, I think I told you about my job that I work for care management.

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And I work very closely with two nurses.

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Both of them got laid off this week.

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And our company merged with another one, and they kind of took over.

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And both of, I mean, like these two gals especially one of them, I'm really close to.

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And they called one of them who was on vacation at Disneyland, and let her know that she was laid off.

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And they.

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Yeah, it's like, and.

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But the one gal that I'm really close to, she's from China and she's here on a visa.

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And the company was sponsoring her, but now they let her go, so she may have to go

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back to China if she can't find another company to sponsor her.

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So it's just been a very emotional time.

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It would almost I think I'd almost feel better if I got laid off.

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I don't know if you understand that, but instead of my two friends, you know, it

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I could handle that better, I think.

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And I got a text from a friend on

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yesterday.

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And she was asking me she was actually a

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leader on a trip I took to France in April.

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And God had laid me on her heart and she was praying for me.

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And, you know, and then.

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You know, it was like.

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You know, I was turning to the Lord and then this morning it was like

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had kind of a breakthrough, you know, where.

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You know, when God shows up and you sense

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his presence and it changes everything.

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I had one of those things, and then

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this afternoon I got an email from somebody who wants to take part, you know,

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wants wants to take part of what my friend has been doing,

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which nobody can really replace her because of her knowledge and her technical, you know.

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And that just got, you know,

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when I saw that, oh, somebody is going to is going to be replacing her.

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And to some degree, the other person isn't a nurse.

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So, you know, but it just.

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And there's I mean, there's just a whole lot of people that are upset over this,

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that it just doesn't make sense to let the two people who guide the department go.

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You know, it just doesn't.

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So,

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you know, I'm going to be OK, but it's just been a very emotionally.

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And I think Rita and I are twins because

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Rita was going through some similar stuff this week.

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And

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yeah, it's just been difficult.

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But, you know, the Lord is there with you, with me.

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And that makes all the difference, really.

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But.

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Yeah, so I don't know any in situations like this,

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Ashley, do you have any words of wisdom, you know, because it.

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I really do think if if I got laid off, I could handle it better.

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You know, I've gone from angry to crying to angry, you know.

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Yes, yeah, well, for one thing, I commend you for

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for the depth of your feelings because it shows that you care

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and it shows, you know, that you have a love for those people.

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And so the thing is, though, that we have all of this love, we have this care.

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But where are we going to direct it?

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In other words, how are we going to steward what we've been entrusted with?

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We've been entrusted with an aspect of of somebody else's life, their souls.

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We've been able to have insight into it.

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We've been able to be interactive, interacting.

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We've had the privilege of being blessed

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by them, of being of pouring into them, of being invested in them, et cetera.

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But then these things happen to them and we feel, wait a minute.

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You know, this is a this is an injustice or I don't want to be without them or,

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you know, because there's probably like this myriad of things I will.

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I don't like how this is going to affect me.

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I don't feel that this was that they were treated fairly.

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You know, I want them to be treated better,

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you know, or I'm concerned about like what's going to happen to them, et cetera.

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And so I just wanted to first commend you for feeling the way that you do,

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because it's revealing the fact that you care so very deeply.

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And that's a very from a very pure heart.

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So then we just think about, OK, well, what do I how do I steward the feelings

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that I have and then how do I do that as a son of God, as opposed to out of like

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like, for instance, you think about, OK, well, what is it that I'm feeling?

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Well, I'm feeling unrest.

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And then one of the ways in which I'm

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feeling unrest is I'm feeling anger or I'm feeling fear or I'm feeling whatever.

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And there's

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and so we can put kind of different labels on it if it kind of helps you.

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And just remember that anything negative

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that you're feeling, you know, that's weighing you down,

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that's creating kind of like like an oppressiveness that can be released and let go.

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So.

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And, and you don't have to care.

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There's some aspect in which you're carrying a responsibility that, um, that you don't

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have to live under.

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And here's the important thing, and this is why it's so important is if you, again, remember

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what I said, I commend you for the feelings that you have, I commend you for how it is

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that you are responding to all this because there's gold there, but in order for that

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gold to be able to serve those people as a son of God, because you're in a position of

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power and authority in Christ, you have to let the other go.

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Because if you're expending all of your energy on all of the negative, you can't stand in

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your position as a son of God and benefit them.

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So your friends are not being treated.

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You know, I'm not making a judgment about the situation.

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I have no idea what's going on, but say for instance, that your friends are not being

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treated justly, that all kinds of bad things could happen.

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Like your friend could be sent back to China, et cetera.

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Well, what you can do is if you let go of all of the, of all of the fear, the anxiety,

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the distrust, the whatever, all of the negative things, then that leaves all of the good things

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that you are feeling, your love for them, your desire for their good and for their benefit

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and for the things that you want the Lord to, like the blessings, the reward, the new

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direction, the new life, whatever it is that you know that God could have for them and

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could be giving them.

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You can start calling those things into being from your position of power and authority

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in being in Christ, but only if you let the other things go, because the other things

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are right now taking precedent.

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So by letting them go, not only do you benefit you by shifting into rest, you can now benefit

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them.

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You can now take all of these things, all of it's a way in which you're able to now

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govern creation by governing creation through relationships, which we'll be talking more

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about.

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I don't know.

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And what are the next videos?

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Like one or two weeks from now.

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Um, and, uh, so, so I just wanted to mention that it's not just you saving yourself from

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the fact that you're feeling all these negative emotions, oh, actually I'm not in rest.

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You know, what should I do?

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Lord?

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You know that I'm not in rest.

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Well, I need to be in rest.

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And you're like, yeah, but there's all of these things that are good about the direction,

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um, about why it is that we're feeling the way that we are feeling that way, because

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we love these people.

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So how can you turn it towards benefiting them?

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You have to let go of all of those negative things that are created out of fearing that

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God doesn't, isn't going to be good in their lives.

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He's not going to do good things.

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He's not going to work things out for them.

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You know, therefore I need to be afraid.

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Therefore I need to kind of control the situation through my worry, through my anxiety, through

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my stress or my fear, through my unbelief or whatever will actually, you can, I don't

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want to say you can control it, but you can come into agreement with and call certain

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things into being that God desires for them.

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If you let, if you let all of those other negative things go, so not only do my whole

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point is you not only benefit by shifting into rest, you shift yourself into a position

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of agreeing with God, you are who you say, who God says that you are, and then are able

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to govern creation include in a way that benefits your friend's lives.

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Does that make sense?

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Yeah, it does.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So I just wanted to, yeah.

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Cause the reason I wanted to make sure to thoroughly explain it that way is because

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sometimes we can feel, well, wait a minute, isn't, doesn't one of the reasons why we might

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not want to like shift into rest as weird as that sounds, especially in situations in

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which we think that an unjust, an injustice has been done to someone else is we feel that

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it's like letting it go and we're like, yeah, but I care.

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What do I do with the fact that I care?

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And we want to, and we want to, and so we need to understand that there is something

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proactive and honoring that we can do a way that we can honor the fact that we care.

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We can honor the fact that the reason that we're feeling that way is I'm not talking

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about the fear.

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I'm not talking about anger.

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I'm not talking about those things.

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I'm talking about the love that we have for someone else is because we're like our father.

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So what does our father do with love?

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What does our father do when he loves us or when he loves, you know, our friends or whatever?

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So what does he do with that?

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How does he direct it?

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How does he use it?

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He uses it to benefit them.

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And so we want to be like our father.

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So how can we, so I just wanted to mention that there's a more of it that they're that

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shifting into rest.

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Isn't just a letting go of like, as if like, well, I just kind of have to let go of them.

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And then they just kind of go on there on their way that we feel like a connection and

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we feel that there's something that we want to do.

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And I just wanted to mention, there's something you can do that.

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You don't have to cut off the connection.

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You just by letting go of all of the negativity.

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letting go of the unbelief, letting go of the fear.

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It's not letting go of the other person.

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It's not no longer caring about them.

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It is appropriately stewarding the care, the love,

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and the connection that you have been entrusted by God with

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related to that other person.

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Is that helpful?

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Yeah, thank you.

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You're welcome, you're welcome.

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I'm so sorry it's been so hard,

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but you never know how the Lord will use that

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in their lives because think of how many,

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think of how our lives would have been blessed

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if things that we've all been through,

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in which we felt betrayed, in which we've lost jobs,

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or whatever our situation is,

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if someone had actually stood in a powerful position

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as a son of God and began declaring things.

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I mean, imagine what of a difference

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that would have made for us

227
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if someone would have actually stood up

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in the spirit as an adult

229
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and acted like an adult in this situation,

230
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as opposed to just everybody being afraid

231
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and everybody being feared

232
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and everybody expressing sympathy.

233
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What would have happened if someone would have stood for us

234
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in the gap before the Lord,

235
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in a position of the power and authority that they have

236
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being in Christ?

237
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It would have made a huge difference in our lives.

238
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Even if we didn't know that that was happening.

239
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I mean, just imagine in the spirit realm,

240
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the difference that we know that that would have made.

241
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And we can now be that for someone else.

242
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So yeah.

243
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So does anyone have anything else?

244
00:16:40.760 --> 00:16:42.520
It's so good to see everybody.

245
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Anyone have anything else?

246
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:47.720
I think you talked about,

247
00:16:48.640 --> 00:16:52.680
or we have talked about, you know, about letting go.

248
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If there's some things in your life

249
00:16:55.160 --> 00:16:58.440
or people in your life that you wanna let go,

250
00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:01.360
you need to like, let go or release them.

251
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:04.319
But then you're saying it,

252
00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:06.599
but then you're not really releasing it

253
00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:08.160
or not really letting go.

254
00:17:09.160 --> 00:17:11.359
And I think that's a really good point.

255
00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.560
You're not really releasing it or not really letting go.

256
00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:18.160
Do you know, have we talked about this

257
00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:20.599
or like how do you truly let go?

258
00:17:21.560 --> 00:17:24.480
So what you're letting go of is you're letting go

259
00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:27.560
of holding something of an unbelief

260
00:17:27.560 --> 00:17:29.320
that we're believing about the Lord.

261
00:17:29.320 --> 00:17:31.440
We're letting go of something that we're idolizing

262
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above God.

263
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Well, we want this relationship or we want this safety

264
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or they want the security or want this semblance

265
00:17:40.040 --> 00:17:42.360
of provision or whatever it is that we've grabbed a hold of.

266
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We want that more than God.

267
00:17:44.040 --> 00:17:45.600
That's what we let go of.

268
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When we let go of like, when I was,

269
00:17:48.080 --> 00:17:51.280
so I don't mean that we have to let go of relationships.

270
00:17:51.280 --> 00:17:52.120
Yeah, sure.

271
00:17:52.120 --> 00:17:53.720
If God tells us to let go of a relationship

272
00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:56.320
and have it be idolized, well, then that's one thing.

273
00:17:56.320 --> 00:17:58.080
But when we're just talking about,

274
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generally speaking, when I'm talking, you know,

275
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when the rest intensive and, you know, rest lifestyle

276
00:18:02.760 --> 00:18:05.840
or whatever, when I'm talking about letting something go,

277
00:18:05.840 --> 00:18:09.560
I'm talking about letting go of an unbelief.

278
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:11.720
I'm talking about letting go of something

279
00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:12.880
that we're idolizing.

280
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I don't mean that it's that a person is out of our lives.

281
00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:19.440
I mean, sometimes, sure, that's how it manifests.

282
00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:21.680
Let go of something or someone in your life.

283
00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:22.840
How do you?

284
00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:26.800
Oh, how do you let it, how do you let go?

285
00:18:26.800 --> 00:18:29.680
Yeah, I think you mentioned something at some point,

286
00:18:29.680 --> 00:18:32.880
maybe during our coaching session or something like that.

287
00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:35.160
I couldn't really grab a hold of it

288
00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:36.520
because I'm like, in my life,

289
00:18:36.800 --> 00:18:39.600
I'm struggling to let go of a certain relationship

290
00:18:39.600 --> 00:18:42.120
or something that I feel like I need to let go of,

291
00:18:42.120 --> 00:18:46.240
but then I struggle to truly let it go.

292
00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:51.240
And then I was just wondering how to know

293
00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:56.800
how to let go, but I don't know what kind of answer,

294
00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:03.040
how do you truly let go of something?

295
00:19:04.040 --> 00:19:08.880
So I, you know, all of those rest, go ahead.

296
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:10.640
You were giving it up,

297
00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:13.320
then maybe you were taking it back right away,

298
00:19:13.320 --> 00:19:15.880
or you, yeah.

299
00:19:16.800 --> 00:19:21.560
Okay, so you remember the example that I gave

300
00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:26.560
of the balloon, you know,

301
00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:30.440
you think about like the three realms teaching

302
00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:32.000
and you think of like the red balloon

303
00:19:32.040 --> 00:19:33.440
floating on top of the water.

304
00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:35.800
And remember how I said that it would sink

305
00:19:35.800 --> 00:19:38.320
and it would think that it was the soul

306
00:19:38.320 --> 00:19:40.640
or it would believe its identity was in the body.

307
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:42.880
Remember how I would say that it would sink?

308
00:19:42.880 --> 00:19:45.600
It sinks because it's grabbing a hold of a weight

309
00:19:45.600 --> 00:19:48.680
outside of it that causes it to respond

310
00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:53.680
or experience a life in which it's sinking,

311
00:19:53.760 --> 00:19:56.200
which is very unlike a balloon to do,

312
00:19:56.200 --> 00:19:58.320
to experience something that's not like

313
00:19:58.320 --> 00:20:00.040
its usual experience.

314
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.840
In other words, a balloon floats, a balloon doesn't sink, but it's sinking.

315
00:20:03.840 --> 00:20:04.720
Why is it doing it?

316
00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:08.560
It's because it's starting to act very unnatural because it's grabbed ahold of

317
00:20:08.560 --> 00:20:13.040
something outside of itself, which is a weight or whatever, and so it starts to sink.

318
00:20:13.040 --> 00:20:17.680
When we as the balloon, Lou is the new man that naturally always believes our father,

319
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:22.880
that naturally always trusts our father, that naturally never idolizes anything over our

320
00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:26.400
father, that always wants our father more than we want anything else.

321
00:20:27.040 --> 00:20:32.640
When we start to want something else, or we start to have fear, or we start to believe

322
00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:36.480
God's not who he says that he is, that he's not protecting us, he's not going to provide

323
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:37.360
for us or whatever.

324
00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:42.880
It's like us being a balloon, grabbing a hold of a weight, this unbelief against God,

325
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:44.400
and it's weighing us down.

326
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:51.280
So when I'm referring to letting it go, I'm saying we're actively actually holding onto

327
00:20:51.280 --> 00:20:54.240
something that's actually not natural for us.

328
00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:59.440
What's natural for us is to not hold onto anything, but rolling onto something.

329
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:06.320
So what we're doing is we are just believe it's, um, we are holding onto something as

330
00:21:06.320 --> 00:21:09.920
if we believe that it is going to protect us.

331
00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:11.280
It's going to provide for us.

332
00:21:11.280 --> 00:21:13.120
It's going to make us feel better.

333
00:21:13.120 --> 00:21:15.280
Like say, for instance, a relationship.

334
00:21:15.280 --> 00:21:21.120
If I have this relationship in my life, and if, um, if I have it at a particular importance,

335
00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:24.640
let's say for instance, you and I haven't talked about your mother.

336
00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:28.560
I'm just mentioning your mother, just because it's, it's an easy thing for us to all relate

337
00:21:28.560 --> 00:21:34.800
to a mother, um, you know, and it's a family member that you don't, you know, essentially,

338
00:21:34.800 --> 00:21:39.120
you know, get rid of, you know, because you're connected via blood, even if you don't see

339
00:21:39.120 --> 00:21:44.000
them anymore, you know, you're connected via blood point is you, um, say for instance,

340
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:48.400
she's, uh, there's, you're too emotionally attached to your mother.

341
00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:50.480
There's something very, very unhealthy there.

342
00:21:50.480 --> 00:21:52.720
And God's like, Hey, you're idolizing your mother above me.

343
00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:57.360
He's not telling you to get your mother, get rid of your mother out of your life.

344
00:21:57.360 --> 00:22:00.720
He's just saying, Hey, look, you were too attached to her.

345
00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:04.880
Her opinion of you matters more than my opinion of you matters.

346
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:06.800
And I need you to let that go.

347
00:22:06.800 --> 00:22:10.800
He's not telling you to let your mother go and not have her be part of your life.

348
00:22:10.800 --> 00:22:14.240
So what he's telling you to let go of is why are you attached?

349
00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:17.760
So attached to your mother, your tech, you're being attached to her.

350
00:22:17.760 --> 00:22:21.120
And I'm totally making up this story, everybody, but she knows that, but I'm just verifying to

351
00:22:21.120 --> 00:22:27.120
all of y'all kids trying to pick up a story out of nowhere is, um, you're holding on to her

352
00:22:27.120 --> 00:22:33.600
onto a relationship because you're trying to, you feel afraid and you feel that that gives you

353
00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:36.320
safety or that she affirms you.

354
00:22:36.320 --> 00:22:39.600
If her mom thinks well of you, then you know that you're okay for yourself.

355
00:22:40.560 --> 00:22:43.520
God tells you that you're okay, but that doesn't make you feel okay.

356
00:22:43.520 --> 00:22:46.560
But if your mom tells you that you're okay, well, then that makes you feel okay.

357
00:22:46.560 --> 00:22:48.800
That's idolizing your mother's opinion above you.

358
00:22:48.800 --> 00:22:51.120
And God's like, I need you to let that go.

359
00:22:51.120 --> 00:22:55.120
I need you to let go of your emotional dependence on your mother.

360
00:22:55.120 --> 00:22:56.480
You're not believing me.

361
00:22:57.200 --> 00:23:02.720
You're, you're, you're choosing that, that, um, what I'm telling you about you isn't true.

362
00:23:03.360 --> 00:23:08.080
And you're trying to find that semblance of truth in something else.

363
00:23:08.080 --> 00:23:13.200
You're trying to find it in what your mother says about you or what your boss says about

364
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:17.600
you or, you know, for you as a teacher, what your students say about you or whatever.

365
00:23:17.600 --> 00:23:17.840
Right.

366
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:20.240
And like, we grab ahold of that.

367
00:23:20.240 --> 00:23:27.520
So it's the importance and, and the meaning that we're giving to that relationship that we need

368
00:23:27.520 --> 00:23:28.400
to let go of.

369
00:23:28.960 --> 00:23:34.800
It's not always that we have to let go of the relationship as if God's like, I want you to

370
00:23:34.800 --> 00:23:35.600
cast that out of your life.

371
00:23:35.600 --> 00:23:37.120
And I never want you to see your mom again.

372
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:39.040
It's not what he's saying.

373
00:23:39.040 --> 00:23:46.880
He just like that your dependence on her to, to, because you're not believing me,

374
00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:48.880
that's what I need you to let go of.

375
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:55.120
And I need you to grab ahold of me instead, as far as how to do it, that would be things

376
00:23:55.120 --> 00:23:59.680
like what I was talking about, like the rest shifting tools or the practical shifting tools.

377
00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:04.880
And like, what was that session seven, I believe of different things that you can do.

378
00:24:05.600 --> 00:24:11.040
And, and the reason why I get those tools is for the same reason that you're asking this

379
00:24:11.040 --> 00:24:12.720
question, we're all like, okay, Ashley, I get it.

380
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:13.600
We're supposed to let go.

381
00:24:13.600 --> 00:24:13.760
Yeah.

382
00:24:13.760 --> 00:24:15.520
But how do I let go?

383
00:24:15.520 --> 00:24:17.280
How do I know I'm holding onto it?

384
00:24:17.280 --> 00:24:19.040
I don't know what that feels like.

385
00:24:19.040 --> 00:24:24.320
And so if you walk yourself through those tools, it's like, it walks you your, your,

386
00:24:24.320 --> 00:24:30.320
it gives your soul an anchor of a way to understand how you're holding onto something

387
00:24:30.320 --> 00:24:31.520
and how to let go of it.

388
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:38.560
When you don't understand that concept, otherwise, like say for instance you know, I tell people,

389
00:24:38.560 --> 00:24:45.840
Hey if you feel if you feel you know, shame or condemnation, or if you, you know, tell yourself,

390
00:24:45.840 --> 00:24:51.760
okay, Lord, I'm going to choose to believe you that I am, have no reason to be shamed.

391
00:24:51.760 --> 00:24:55.040
And that you tell me that there is therefore now no condemnation.

392
00:24:55.760 --> 00:24:59.520
So I am going to let that shame and condemnation go.

393
00:24:59.520 --> 00:25:00.240
In other words,

394
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.440
I'm going to pretend that I'm holding onto it inside of me.

395
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:05.600
And now I'm going to choose.

396
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:08.200
It's almost like you imagine it and you're, or you feel it.

397
00:25:08.200 --> 00:25:09.440
You feel a lump in your throat.

398
00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:11.660
You feel a tightness in your chest.

399
00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:17.160
There's some time, usually some bodily manifestation that you're tight, that

400
00:25:17.160 --> 00:25:20.780
you're holding onto something that you've made yourself small, that you've, that

401
00:25:20.780 --> 00:25:24.520
you've restrained that you're, that you're, that you're feeling restrained or

402
00:25:24.520 --> 00:25:28.800
whatever, and you just tell yourself move in the opposite direction, you're feeling

403
00:25:28.800 --> 00:25:35.080
tight, loosen, you feel you're holding on to something like, like a, I guess if I

404
00:25:35.080 --> 00:25:40.200
was doing this, holding on to something, okay, Ashley, open your hand and let go.

405
00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:43.720
And it's almost like you kind of like imagine yourself walking through it and

406
00:25:43.720 --> 00:25:48.360
you will emotionally and physically feel an opening, feel a release, you'll feel

407
00:25:48.360 --> 00:25:54.160
lighter, and so you, if you walk yourself through those tools, it's a way to help

408
00:25:54.600 --> 00:26:00.520
kind of our soul, tell our soul how to do something that we have a very difficult

409
00:26:00.520 --> 00:26:05.440
time under, um, understanding otherwise, because otherwise let it go.

410
00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:09.120
Just sounds like some nice concept and theory out there that I can't connect

411
00:26:09.120 --> 00:26:09.360
with.

412
00:26:09.800 --> 00:26:11.440
That's why I use tools.

413
00:26:11.800 --> 00:26:13.400
Those tools are not magical.

414
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:19.200
So once you practice those tools enough, you will become familiar enough with how

415
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:23.160
to recognize that you're holding onto something that eventually all you'll have

416
00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:26.400
to do is just tell yourself, okay, let that thing go.

417
00:26:26.440 --> 00:26:28.240
And you will immediately let it go.

418
00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:32.840
And you didn't even use a tool because you became familiar enough inside of you

419
00:26:32.840 --> 00:26:37.200
of how to associate, um, of how to recognize that you're holding onto

420
00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:39.520
something and how to command yourself to let it go.

421
00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:44.680
Um, so you just become familiar with it, but until you become familiar with it, I

422
00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:51.320
recommend using those tools because those kind of like help you, um, help kind of

423
00:26:51.320 --> 00:26:57.520
like baby step is into something that we don't understand how to see in ourselves.

424
00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:02.640
How do I notice and note that I'm, that I'm holding onto something, if you feel

425
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:08.080
heavy, if you've got negative feelings, if you feel tight inside, those are all

426
00:27:08.080 --> 00:27:13.680
indications that you are, um, that you're, uh, holding onto something that you need

427
00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:18.920
to let go, but anyway, back to just do full circle, what it is that we're holding

428
00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:24.840
onto is actually, we're holding onto something kind of like Eve, how she

429
00:27:24.840 --> 00:27:28.240
reached out and grabbed the apple, took it and ate it.

430
00:27:28.480 --> 00:27:30.160
She grabbed a hold of something.

431
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:30.920
That's what I'm saying.

432
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:31.800
We need to let go of.

433
00:27:31.800 --> 00:27:36.120
We grabbed a hold of something that we try to use to take care of something that

434
00:27:36.120 --> 00:27:38.280
God said he wanted to take care of for us.

435
00:27:38.840 --> 00:27:42.320
And we're like, no, I'm going to use this relationship to take care of this for me.

436
00:27:42.840 --> 00:27:45.440
I'm going to use money to take care of this for me.

437
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:51.520
I'm going to use my dependence on food or comfort or whatever

438
00:27:51.520 --> 00:27:52.960
to take care of this for me.

439
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:57.480
That's the thing we have to let go of anyway.

440
00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:01.080
Did it, um, any of that make sense or answer your question?

441
00:28:01.760 --> 00:28:02.480
Yes, it does.

442
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:07.920
I'm thinking that whether it's a person, I think for me, it's, it's a person,

443
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:13.400
it may be a couple of people, but also dreams, you know, they can be dreams

444
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:15.200
or even things that God spoke to you.

445
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:20.040
So that's kind of the dualistic feeling that you get because God spoke something

446
00:28:20.040 --> 00:28:24.000
to you or you're in, you're holding onto it and you feel like you should hold onto

447
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:30.760
it, but then it kind of makes you when it doesn't happen, then that, or if you

448
00:28:30.760 --> 00:28:36.400
have to wait for it for a long time, or so it's, I'm thinking that both when it

449
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:40.800
comes to people, but also when it comes to dreams or something that God spoke,

450
00:28:41.360 --> 00:28:46.240
how can you, I don't know if we're called to maybe hold things lightly, people that

451
00:28:46.240 --> 00:28:52.840
are in our lives and dreams, if that's what it meant and, and that we so soon in

452
00:28:52.840 --> 00:28:57.480
our flesh start, like you say, grabbing a hold of things, even good things, even

453
00:28:57.480 --> 00:28:58.680
things God spoke to us.

454
00:28:59.400 --> 00:28:59.880
Yes.

455
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:01.200
Yeah, exactly.

456
00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:05.200
For me, it's like, I don't, I feel like I'm letting things go and I'm saying it

457
00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:10.920
over and over, but then I don't know if I actually have let go.

458
00:29:11.760 --> 00:29:12.240
Yeah.

459
00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:16.520
So three things, first of all, I'm going to be talking about all of that in the very

460
00:29:16.520 --> 00:29:22.280
last session, which is session 13 about gold streams and promises, particularly

461
00:29:22.280 --> 00:29:25.120
promises that God has given us that we haven't seen fulfilled.

462
00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:26.520
What do we do with that?

463
00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:29.400
So, and then, so we'll be talking about that.

464
00:29:29.760 --> 00:29:35.480
Number two, um, what it is that we want to let go of is, is we want to stop holding

465
00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:36.600
God emotional.

466
00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:41.160
We need to stop emotionally holding God accountable to us for something.

467
00:29:41.520 --> 00:29:45.720
In other words, that are how we treat God and how we seek God and how we interact

468
00:29:45.720 --> 00:29:47.480
with God and how we feel about God.

469
00:29:48.040 --> 00:29:51.360
It needs to stop being dependent on what happens.

470
00:29:52.360 --> 00:29:59.000
It needs to be completely unaffected, like how we feel about God and how we feel

471
00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:00.000
about like our.

472
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.500
in him and whether or not we, we love him and whether or not we think he's good,

473
00:30:04.500 --> 00:30:08.680
whether or not we feel he's good, all of those things needs to be completely

474
00:30:08.680 --> 00:30:11.760
unaffected by whatever happens on earth.

475
00:30:12.280 --> 00:30:14.580
We need to stop holding God emotionally.

476
00:30:14.600 --> 00:30:15.060
Remember?

477
00:30:15.060 --> 00:30:16.640
Cause I said, you know, about how we feel.

478
00:30:16.980 --> 00:30:20.360
We need to stop emotionally being dependent in our

479
00:30:20.360 --> 00:30:23.360
relationship with God on what happens.

480
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:25.640
And so that's another thing.

481
00:30:25.740 --> 00:30:28.700
The third thing that I want to mention is about like promises.

482
00:30:29.880 --> 00:30:35.600
God wants what we're supposed to have faith in is the one who promised and

483
00:30:35.780 --> 00:30:38.720
who he is not in what he promised.

484
00:30:39.620 --> 00:30:42.020
So if God promised something, it'll happen.

485
00:30:43.220 --> 00:30:44.140
We can agree with that.

486
00:30:44.140 --> 00:30:46.200
And we're like, okay, God may it be into me.

487
00:30:47.020 --> 00:30:50.260
Um, in fact, I was visiting with a friend of mine tonight and,

488
00:30:50.320 --> 00:30:52.300
and I'd forgotten that he said this.

489
00:30:52.300 --> 00:30:53.840
He's actually been a mentor of mine.

490
00:30:54.300 --> 00:30:58.020
And he was telling me, um, that, uh, one of the things that he talks about

491
00:30:58.020 --> 00:31:01.660
is the fact that, um, he said, and he was reminding me again tonight.

492
00:31:01.660 --> 00:31:07.520
He said, Ashley, he said, um, that Mary was the perfect way.

493
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:10.780
Um, how did you put that?

494
00:31:11.040 --> 00:31:16.160
He said, uh, Mary handled what the promise that she was given by God.

495
00:31:16.660 --> 00:31:21.400
In other words, the seed she was given by God, literally the seed of Jesus

496
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:25.660
himself that was placed in her, excuse me, it was handled by God.

497
00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:29.020
Uh, she handled it in the best way that we possibly can.

498
00:31:29.020 --> 00:31:30.020
And we need to learn from her.

499
00:31:30.020 --> 00:31:35.800
He said, because she said, Lord, may what you said the end to me.

500
00:31:36.140 --> 00:31:39.400
So in other words, you're just coming into agreement with the word.

501
00:31:40.060 --> 00:31:43.600
You're simply coming to agreement and the word will produce the work.

502
00:31:43.620 --> 00:31:45.700
We don't have to do any work.

503
00:31:45.780 --> 00:31:46.920
The word will produce it.

504
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:50.320
All we have to do is to say, okay, God, if you say that that's what's going to

505
00:31:50.320 --> 00:31:53.800
happen, then I choose that that's what's going to happen.

506
00:31:53.800 --> 00:31:58.840
I come into complete agreement with it, but in the meantime, Lord, what it is.

507
00:31:58.840 --> 00:32:03.960
And I'm having faith in isn't the manifestation of the thing isn't watching

508
00:32:03.960 --> 00:32:06.680
and waiting and, um, for the thing to happen.

509
00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:07.880
And then I'll know that you meant it.

510
00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:08.440
No, no, no.

511
00:32:08.760 --> 00:32:13.420
It's who is the God who promised that that's what I have faith in.

512
00:32:14.280 --> 00:32:15.900
You know, who does he say that he is?

513
00:32:15.900 --> 00:32:19.080
Well, he's goodness and he's love and he's, you know, whatever.

514
00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:25.460
Who, because the promise is basically just is something is given to us because

515
00:32:25.460 --> 00:32:29.920
God is trying to express something about himself in terms that we understand.

516
00:32:30.680 --> 00:32:34.500
Because the promise is something that's like, oh, that we value that we, like

517
00:32:34.500 --> 00:32:37.900
all of these dreams that you have, that you're holding before him or these

518
00:32:37.900 --> 00:32:41.440
dreams that he's given you, and you're like, okay, God, you say that all

519
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:42.800
of these are really good things.

520
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:47.320
So what kind of a God does that make him?

521
00:32:47.600 --> 00:32:50.700
If he would give you dreams like that, if he would say that those

522
00:32:50.700 --> 00:32:53.760
things are going to happen, then all my word, it makes him a good God.

523
00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:56.000
It means that he really loves me.

524
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:57.640
It means that he's really that great.

525
00:32:57.680 --> 00:32:59.240
It means that he's really that grand.

526
00:32:59.540 --> 00:33:01.400
That's what God wants us to focus on.

527
00:33:01.800 --> 00:33:06.360
Not how wonderful this thing is and how much we want it, but rather what is that

528
00:33:06.360 --> 00:33:11.880
thing that God's expressed saying about him, the whole point is for us to always

529
00:33:11.920 --> 00:33:17.600
be thinking about what that was, that promise is saying about God, not about

530
00:33:17.600 --> 00:33:21.920
how badly we want the promise, because our problem in focusing on the promise

531
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:25.960
instead of the one who promised is that we can start using that gift of the

532
00:33:25.960 --> 00:33:28.520
promise against God and accusation.

533
00:33:28.760 --> 00:33:31.680
We can start taking this beautiful gift that he gave us and use

534
00:33:31.680 --> 00:33:33.040
it as a weapon against him.

535
00:33:33.520 --> 00:33:34.400
And we can't do that.

536
00:33:34.840 --> 00:33:37.880
So anyway, those three things I would say to that, is that helpful?

537
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:39.160
Yeah, that's really good.

538
00:33:39.160 --> 00:33:39.720
Thank you.

539
00:33:39.760 --> 00:33:40.240
Okay.

540
00:33:40.360 --> 00:33:41.040
You're welcome.

541
00:33:41.880 --> 00:33:47.320
Does anyone have anything else?

542
00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:48.360
All right.

543
00:33:48.360 --> 00:33:49.520
I'm looking at something over here.

544
00:33:56.080 --> 00:33:56.840
Yeah, Kate.

545
00:33:57.920 --> 00:33:58.440
Hi.

546
00:33:59.120 --> 00:34:04.200
Um, uh, things have actually been really good.

547
00:34:04.280 --> 00:34:10.000
Um, I think in just the last few days, I've just had this overwhelming feeling

548
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:16.080
of like discontentment that I'm just always waiting for something to happen.

549
00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:19.040
Like, and it could be along the same lines of what you're talking about

550
00:34:19.040 --> 00:34:34.880
with, um, process of the Lord, just like, just anticipation of something's going

551
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:38.480
to happen, like, or I'm wanting something different to happen other than just the

552
00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:42.880
mundane, and I don't know, I don't know what this, where discontentment comes

553
00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:46.360
from, or is it because the word's like, I'm not allowing the Lord just to

554
00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:51.239
satisfy just the needs of my heart and just like that he's enough every day.

555
00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:57.600
And so, and so sometimes I can not like shame or condemnation, but like, I can

556
00:34:57.600 --> 00:35:00.040
go into like, well, what's wrong with me that what I have.

557
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.400
is not enough or where I'm at in life is not enough. I don't know if you could just speak to

558
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:10.720
any of that. Yes. No, I completely understand. It's been in the same place and in that place

559
00:35:10.720 --> 00:35:15.600
in certain areas of my life. And what I've learned is that it's very important to receive what it is

560
00:35:15.600 --> 00:35:20.720
that we've been given from the Lord as a gift and be like, okay, Lord, I receive what you've

561
00:35:20.720 --> 00:35:26.320
given me as you being good to me. And so I appreciate it and I love it. And I thank you.

562
00:35:26.320 --> 00:35:31.520
We're so afraid that if we're, if we're grateful and content with what we have, that God's like,

563
00:35:31.520 --> 00:35:37.040
good, that's great. Now that you're happy, I'm going to go be give the squeaky wheel, the grease.

564
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:40.960
We've been taught that to get something out of God, we've got to be unhappy.

565
00:35:41.680 --> 00:35:47.120
In other words, we had to be squeaky and it's just not true. And so what God wants us to do

566
00:35:47.120 --> 00:35:51.120
is he's like, Hey, I want you to risk before I can give you something else. I need to know that

567
00:35:51.120 --> 00:35:57.840
I can trust you to receive what I've given you. So receive it. So anyway, so I've learned to just

568
00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:03.520
receive what it is he's given me as a good gift from a good father, expressing his love for me.

569
00:36:04.560 --> 00:36:10.800
Then in doing that, you're just, what you're doing is you're allowing yourself to enjoy the goodness

570
00:36:10.800 --> 00:36:17.680
of God because you're not, it's because the whole point isn't, isn't being just happy enough with

571
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:22.400
all of these material things or all of these experiences or whatever. It's not the thing.

572
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:26.320
What you're saying is, Oh my goodness, Lord, you're this good. I appreciate you being this

573
00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:31.600
good to me. Oh my goodness, Lord, this is such a gift. You're, you're basking in and enjoying

574
00:36:33.200 --> 00:36:39.600
the, what you're experiencing at the manifestation of his character, more than really you're actually

575
00:36:39.600 --> 00:36:45.840
enjoying the thing itself. Your whole focus is on just receiving what it is you've been receiving

576
00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:51.120
is actually being God's goodness. That's what you're enjoying. It's not the thing itself.

577
00:36:51.120 --> 00:36:55.920
It's not the experience. Sure. You can enjoy that too, but your whole point of it is you

578
00:36:55.920 --> 00:37:01.360
enjoying God and God's like, excellent. Then I'll give you more of me and I'll give you

579
00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:07.040
other expressions, et cetera. God doesn't stop and say, okay, well, thankfully you're content now.

580
00:37:07.040 --> 00:37:11.200
Okay. And now, and now, you know, you know, I'm not going to give you anything,

581
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:17.840
you know, and move and change anything until you're unhappy again. No, we don't have to worry

582
00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:23.760
about that. So now that we have all of that straight in that, in that situation, you can

583
00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:31.040
still anticipate. You can still always be looking forward because remember everything in the spirit

584
00:37:31.040 --> 00:37:35.280
is always moving. So things are never static. They're never the same. And that includes your

585
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:40.240
life. That includes how it's manifesting into your physical environment, physical, you know,

586
00:37:40.240 --> 00:37:44.880
situation that you're living out. So, so therefore it's okay. It's, it's wonderful

587
00:37:44.880 --> 00:37:49.440
to receive what it is that we have and where it is that we are as a beautiful, wonderful gift of

588
00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:54.560
God's goodness and his provision and his love and his safety and all of those things. But knowing

589
00:37:54.560 --> 00:37:59.280
that kind of like keeping your hands in the river, this is just what you're experiencing of God right

590
00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:04.720
now. So you're not holding on to it. And you're also not resigned to it. Like, well, I guess this

591
00:38:04.720 --> 00:38:10.400
is all that this is. No, no, no. Just be full of expectation. Okay, Lord, what's going to happen

592
00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:16.640
next? Or what do you and I together Lord want to move into next? What do, what I'd like to ask you

593
00:38:16.640 --> 00:38:21.920
for? What are some dreams of mine? Like Renata was talking about, what are some dreams of mine?

594
00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:30.960
And you can be expectant. You can anticipate without using expectation and anticipation

595
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:35.920
and accusation against God. And why hasn't it happened yet? You'd be content with what it is

596
00:38:35.920 --> 00:38:42.720
you, where with the goodness of God, that you are feeling like that you are allowing yourself to

597
00:38:42.720 --> 00:38:50.240
experience, um, and, uh, what he's manifested. And when you do that, you'll just feel open.

598
00:38:50.240 --> 00:38:59.600
In other words, you will, um, you'll feel everything will put that it's almost like everything. But if

599
00:38:59.600 --> 00:39:05.600
you just open yourself like that, to just live, to just live in an experience and receive what it

600
00:39:05.600 --> 00:39:12.480
is of God that you've been given, you're naturally in a posture of openness. So you'll feel anticipatory

601
00:39:13.120 --> 00:39:15.600
if that's a word that feels like it's a word. So we're going with it.

602
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:21.760
I was green English. You can break the rules if you know that. So I'm just kidding. So you just,

603
00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:27.760
you can feel, you can feel an anticipation. You can feel an excitement. You can feel a desire for

604
00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:33.360
more because God put that in you, because that's a characteristic of him. There's always more.

605
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:38.160
There's always stretching. There's always something else. There's always change. There's

606
00:39:38.160 --> 00:39:43.760
always something new that is in his character. So we placed it within creation. And so therefore you

607
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:51.360
having that kind of like always forward falling posture is Godly. That's a, so that's not an

608
00:39:51.440 --> 00:39:58.160
aspect of you need to squelch. You just never need to use the future or anticipation or excitement or

609
00:39:59.120 --> 00:39:59.840
expectation.

610
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.240
and in accusation against him.

611
00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:06.040
Is that helpful?

612
00:40:06.040 --> 00:40:09.480
Yeah, I think even before this class,

613
00:40:09.480 --> 00:40:11.040
for me anyway, there was a lot of emphasis

614
00:40:11.040 --> 00:40:14.680
on like, what's broken, we're coming from survival mode,

615
00:40:14.680 --> 00:40:15.960
we've got to fix all things.

616
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:19.000
And now that so much of that has been released,

617
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:21.800
then it's like, and that's great.

618
00:40:21.800 --> 00:40:24.040
But then like, there's nothing wrong

619
00:40:24.040 --> 00:40:25.640
and there's nothing broken, but then you're like,

620
00:40:25.640 --> 00:40:28.360
well, then what do we look to?

621
00:40:28.360 --> 00:40:31.200
And forward thinking, being excited about those things,

622
00:40:31.200 --> 00:40:34.200
but then a restlessness can come in of like,

623
00:40:34.200 --> 00:40:35.560
how come it's not happening now?

624
00:40:35.560 --> 00:40:37.360
Or how come we're not there now?

625
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:39.360
Where's the significance around me?

626
00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:40.960
And what are we doing then?

627
00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:43.840
So it was just this weird like looming thing of discontent

628
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:45.000
and I was like, what is this?

629
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:47.240
It was just kind of out of the blue.

630
00:40:47.240 --> 00:40:48.920
No, and you're right,

631
00:40:48.920 --> 00:40:51.000
that's actually a very normal part of the process.

632
00:40:51.000 --> 00:40:53.240
That's where people would be.

633
00:40:53.240 --> 00:40:57.400
And that's what the meaning that I created

634
00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:01.680
in the rest lifestyle is like when I created this program

635
00:41:01.680 --> 00:41:04.960
and what I did is, see used to the rest intensive

636
00:41:04.960 --> 00:41:07.400
used to be all 13 sessions.

637
00:41:07.400 --> 00:41:10.240
And what I decided to do because I had gotten feedback

638
00:41:10.240 --> 00:41:11.480
that it was just too much,

639
00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:12.760
that it's just like, oh, it's just too much.

640
00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:13.600
So what I thought is, okay,

641
00:41:13.600 --> 00:41:15.760
I'll divide it into just helping people

642
00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:19.440
under shift their paradigm to a new possibility,

643
00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:22.600
a new perspective, a new approach, a new life,

644
00:41:22.600 --> 00:41:26.280
a new, I didn't do just a freedom that they could step into.

645
00:41:26.280 --> 00:41:27.200
Okay, that's all great.

646
00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:29.240
But then what happens after that?

647
00:41:29.240 --> 00:41:30.400
Finally, everyone's like, okay,

648
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:32.760
life is not how I thought that it worked.

649
00:41:32.760 --> 00:41:35.080
So now how do I live?

650
00:41:35.080 --> 00:41:36.560
I know now how to shift into that.

651
00:41:36.560 --> 00:41:39.640
I now hear and see and receive and agree

652
00:41:39.640 --> 00:41:41.280
with where it is that I am,

653
00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:43.480
but I don't know how to live from here.

654
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:47.440
And it creates a, in your words, a discontent.

655
00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:49.880
There's a like, okay, but now what?

656
00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:53.120
You know, I feel that there's all this possibility,

657
00:41:53.120 --> 00:41:54.200
but towards what?

658
00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:57.160
And so that's what this is all about.

659
00:41:58.000 --> 00:42:02.600
That's what the sessions eight through 13 are all about,

660
00:42:02.600 --> 00:42:04.160
are the, now what?

661
00:42:04.160 --> 00:42:05.720
We're meant to govern.

662
00:42:05.720 --> 00:42:07.720
So, you know, we're meant to govern creation.

663
00:42:07.720 --> 00:42:09.520
So how do we step into that, et cetera?

664
00:42:09.520 --> 00:42:11.000
So this whole rest lifestyle,

665
00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:13.080
even though people can ask questions about, you know,

666
00:42:13.080 --> 00:42:15.720
well, how do you shift into rest and all of that,

667
00:42:15.720 --> 00:42:18.200
you know, in certain situations,

668
00:42:18.200 --> 00:42:20.360
the whole point of this is, yeah,

669
00:42:20.360 --> 00:42:24.360
but how do you, is to show people and give people an idea

670
00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:28.560
of what we can expect to grow into and live,

671
00:42:28.560 --> 00:42:30.560
like, okay, why are we here?

672
00:42:30.560 --> 00:42:32.960
We're here, I mean, in other words, why are we in rest?

673
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:34.400
Why are we one with him?

674
00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:36.120
From that place, what do we do?

675
00:42:36.120 --> 00:42:37.280
We govern.

676
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:39.920
So my whole point is to just kind of like,

677
00:42:39.920 --> 00:42:41.560
just kind of like set that up about like,

678
00:42:41.560 --> 00:42:43.800
that's where it is that we are.

679
00:42:43.800 --> 00:42:47.200
But, you know, it's like, again,

680
00:42:47.200 --> 00:42:49.840
we're, when we're seeking the Lord,

681
00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:52.000
when you're kind of like, okay, okay, Laura,

682
00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:54.160
I'm going to receive that you've given,

683
00:42:54.840 --> 00:42:55.960
I'm going to receive that you've given me

684
00:42:55.960 --> 00:42:58.040
where it is that I am and what it is that you've given me

685
00:42:58.040 --> 00:42:59.720
as being a good gift from a good father

686
00:42:59.720 --> 00:43:00.880
and you expressing your goodness.

687
00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:01.720
And I love that.

688
00:43:01.720 --> 00:43:03.520
And I received that, but remember how I said,

689
00:43:03.520 --> 00:43:05.880
you kind of have like this forward leaning posture now

690
00:43:05.880 --> 00:43:07.320
and kind of like, okay,

691
00:43:07.320 --> 00:43:09.280
I feel like there should be something new.

692
00:43:09.280 --> 00:43:11.720
I'm anticipating the next thing.

693
00:43:11.720 --> 00:43:14.160
Well, how do we like start moving

694
00:43:14.160 --> 00:43:16.440
so that we don't just sit there.

695
00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:19.120
We actually do move into the new thing.

696
00:43:19.120 --> 00:43:21.520
That is where we're asking God,

697
00:43:21.520 --> 00:43:23.360
where we're coming into agreement with God that,

698
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:27.560
okay, God, you've already given me everything,

699
00:43:27.560 --> 00:43:29.360
but what have you given me?

700
00:43:29.360 --> 00:43:30.960
What does it mean?

701
00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:32.000
And what's its purpose?

702
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:33.160
And how do I use it?

703
00:43:34.040 --> 00:43:35.800
The whole baby with the arms,

704
00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:39.880
the baby is born with all his arms and legs

705
00:43:39.880 --> 00:43:41.720
and brain and all of that.

706
00:43:41.720 --> 00:43:43.520
Sorry, that's Moses.

707
00:43:43.520 --> 00:43:44.600
He was barking.

708
00:43:45.720 --> 00:43:47.120
It's a very biblical hassle.

709
00:43:47.120 --> 00:43:50.440
We've got Samson the parrot and Moses the dog.

710
00:43:50.520 --> 00:43:53.800
But then we have Bella the pit bull.

711
00:43:53.800 --> 00:43:55.960
It started, well, yeah, she's a pit bull.

712
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:59.160
So I don't, she's the oddball out.

713
00:43:59.160 --> 00:44:02.640
But anyway, so if there is this,

714
00:44:02.640 --> 00:44:05.040
we come into agreement with the fact that,

715
00:44:05.040 --> 00:44:06.760
okay, God, you've already given me everything.

716
00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:07.880
Okay, Lord, that's wonderful.

717
00:44:07.880 --> 00:44:11.080
I'm coming to you, not declaring you to be a liar.

718
00:44:11.080 --> 00:44:14.080
I'm coming to you agreeing that you are who you say

719
00:44:14.080 --> 00:44:16.520
that you are, but who is that?

720
00:44:17.600 --> 00:44:19.400
And who am I?

721
00:44:19.400 --> 00:44:21.280
So, but we are already coming.

722
00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:22.800
The reason it makes all the difference

723
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:25.680
is we're saying by faith first,

724
00:44:25.680 --> 00:44:27.560
God, we're saying it's true.

725
00:44:27.560 --> 00:44:28.720
And we're saying, Lord,

726
00:44:28.720 --> 00:44:31.680
that we're going to receive it unconditionally.

727
00:44:31.680 --> 00:44:34.360
We're receiving it, Lord, before we know what it is.

728
00:44:34.360 --> 00:44:35.960
So that makes all the difference.

729
00:44:35.960 --> 00:44:38.560
That approach to God makes all the difference.

730
00:44:38.560 --> 00:44:40.160
And now we're just waiting for,

731
00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:42.360
but we're still in the same place that we were before

732
00:44:42.360 --> 00:44:43.680
from a certain perspective,

733
00:44:43.680 --> 00:44:45.240
like where we were calling God a liar.

734
00:44:45.240 --> 00:44:49.080
And the fact that we're like, okay, God, but what now?

735
00:44:49.760 --> 00:44:50.840
So we're still waiting on seeing,

736
00:44:50.840 --> 00:44:53.240
in other words, it's still an unknown,

737
00:44:53.240 --> 00:44:56.600
but this perspective is coming at it from it,

738
00:44:56.600 --> 00:44:58.880
coming and approaching God from the perspective

739
00:44:58.880 --> 00:45:00.200
that we believe him.

740
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.360
And now, Lord, reveal to us the unknown, as opposed to, Lord, we don't know, now show

741
00:45:06.360 --> 00:45:07.360
me what the unknown is.

742
00:45:07.360 --> 00:45:09.480
And God's like, oh, no, no, no, no, that's not how it works.

743
00:45:09.480 --> 00:45:13.400
I need you to agree with me first and to choose it.

744
00:45:13.400 --> 00:45:19.120
We're still in a manner, in a way of speaking, in the place of the unknown, but it makes

745
00:45:19.120 --> 00:45:23.960
all the difference in the world coming from the place of agreement because now God's like,

746
00:45:23.960 --> 00:45:27.200
because you've agreed with me first, I'll reveal to you the unknown.

747
00:45:27.200 --> 00:45:32.520
I couldn't reveal to you the unknown because you called me a liar, but the fact that you

748
00:45:32.520 --> 00:45:38.000
are calling me, the fact that you are agreeing with me and the fact that you were having

749
00:45:38.000 --> 00:45:44.080
faith in me first, before you know what the unknown is going to be, now I can entrust

750
00:45:44.080 --> 00:45:48.640
you with revealing to you the answer to the unknown.

751
00:45:48.640 --> 00:45:50.240
So anyway, that's how we step into that.

752
00:45:50.240 --> 00:45:52.280
It's like, okay, God, what have you given me?

753
00:45:52.280 --> 00:45:53.840
You say you've given it to me and I agree.

754
00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:55.680
Okay, I already have it.

755
00:45:55.680 --> 00:45:57.920
I'm not waiting on you to transact it to me.

756
00:45:57.920 --> 00:45:58.920
I'm not in lack.

757
00:45:58.920 --> 00:45:59.920
I'm in abundance.

758
00:45:59.920 --> 00:46:00.920
Okay.

759
00:46:00.920 --> 00:46:01.920
What do I have?

760
00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:02.920
I have it.

761
00:46:02.920 --> 00:46:07.080
I agree, but what is it?

762
00:46:07.080 --> 00:46:09.400
So in the end, he's going to reveal more.

763
00:46:09.400 --> 00:46:14.360
And so that's that, that's that anticipation that you have, and that's a really good thing.

764
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:20.600
And so that, that aspect of like still feeling that there is an unknown, that is a hallmark

765
00:46:20.600 --> 00:46:24.800
honestly of our relationship with God and quite honestly will be for eternity because

766
00:46:24.920 --> 00:46:27.320
God values mystery.

767
00:46:27.320 --> 00:46:29.120
The mystery of God won't go away.

768
00:46:29.120 --> 00:46:32.680
So we can just all relieve ourselves of that.

769
00:46:32.680 --> 00:46:37.800
He'll just reveal more and more and more, but there's always an aspect of mystery in

770
00:46:37.800 --> 00:46:42.440
God and it's not him hiding himself from us because we're unworthy.

771
00:46:42.440 --> 00:46:49.520
It's him showing value, it's him putting value on it and him not valuing is in like withholding

772
00:46:49.520 --> 00:46:54.760
it from us because it's so valuable, but he calls it a good thing for us to, he said,

773
00:46:55.720 --> 00:46:56.720
what does he say?

774
00:46:56.720 --> 00:47:00.800
He said, it is the honor of Kings to uncover a thing or something like that.

775
00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:04.720
In other words, to seek the treasure and to actually uncover it.

776
00:47:04.720 --> 00:47:05.960
And so he values it.

777
00:47:05.960 --> 00:47:09.400
So we have to learn to value it as opposed to what the world has always taught us of

778
00:47:09.400 --> 00:47:11.120
like mystery is a bad thing.

779
00:47:11.120 --> 00:47:12.840
Darkness is the bad thing.

780
00:47:12.840 --> 00:47:17.400
You know if, if God doesn't, if God doesn't show it to you and if you don't know, well

781
00:47:17.400 --> 00:47:21.120
then you must not be favored and God must be mad at you.

782
00:47:21.120 --> 00:47:24.440
And God says, no, mystery is the good thing.

783
00:47:25.120 --> 00:47:31.160
So anyway, so this whole aspect of unknown, we have been taught to feel unsafe in and

784
00:47:31.160 --> 00:47:39.200
what we have to do instead is have to have to receive, we feel unsafe and we're taught

785
00:47:39.200 --> 00:47:44.440
that it's not valuable and God's just like, no, no, no, trust it and believe and value

786
00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:49.680
it before you see it, value it before I reveal it to you and then I can entrust you with

787
00:47:49.680 --> 00:47:50.680
the revelation.

788
00:47:50.680 --> 00:47:52.680
Does that make sense?

789
00:47:52.920 --> 00:47:53.920
Anyway.

790
00:47:53.920 --> 00:47:54.920
Yeah.

791
00:47:54.920 --> 00:47:55.920
Good.

792
00:47:55.920 --> 00:48:00.920
So does, I don't even know what time it is.

793
00:48:00.920 --> 00:48:01.920
Okay.

794
00:48:01.920 --> 00:48:09.840
I don't know if we have time for more questions, but I do start somewhere, although so, so

795
00:48:09.840 --> 00:48:13.960
much of what you were saying about anticipation, I feel like it's like, that's a word that's

796
00:48:13.960 --> 00:48:17.480
involved in this question, but in a different way, but there's probably like 40 questions

797
00:48:17.480 --> 00:48:18.480
in one here.

798
00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:21.000
So I know it's loaded for the end of the night.

799
00:48:21.320 --> 00:48:26.160
However, maybe we can just start somewhere and see, because God always uses you and,

800
00:48:26.160 --> 00:48:28.680
you know, breaks the ice at least.

801
00:48:28.680 --> 00:48:34.960
And so I feel like what I'm doing is I'm like, I'm in, I'm in a place where I'm anticipating

802
00:48:34.960 --> 00:48:40.040
like in a relationship with God, wanting to know him, wanting to obey him, wanting to

803
00:48:40.040 --> 00:48:44.440
seek him, wanting to like do what he told me to do, even just very personally, the words

804
00:48:44.440 --> 00:48:49.680
that he's given me over the season of my life, but I'm doing it from a place of, or through

805
00:48:49.680 --> 00:48:56.040
a lens of like pain and trauma that is so like impacting the way that I'm viewing how

806
00:48:56.040 --> 00:48:57.200
he's going to do this thing.

807
00:48:57.200 --> 00:49:03.040
So essentially he's told me and like cleared my entire, you know, schedule, my entire life

808
00:49:03.040 --> 00:49:09.000
had me stop my business, my ministry, my job, no, my husband's switching his job so we can

809
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:13.240
afford to live on one income, kind of like setting the stage for this season.

810
00:49:13.240 --> 00:49:18.300
That's so climactic in a way it's like, I know that I've been living in a way that can't

811
00:49:18.300 --> 00:49:19.380
be sustained.

812
00:49:19.380 --> 00:49:24.620
And that is physically manifesting, you know, health issues and where I feel a level of

813
00:49:24.620 --> 00:49:30.580
anxiety and fear and things like that over the past trauma that I can't keep living with

814
00:49:30.580 --> 00:49:33.020
all these things that are affecting me in so many ways.

815
00:49:33.020 --> 00:49:38.980
But I also, I don't want to put this like anticipation on what this has to look like

816
00:49:38.980 --> 00:49:41.540
as if, okay, it's gotta be intense.

817
00:49:41.540 --> 00:49:42.540
It's gotta be heavy.

818
00:49:42.540 --> 00:49:47.020
Like we've got to hit this, this pain and healing stuff hard and God wants me to grieve

819
00:49:47.020 --> 00:49:48.140
and he told me to grieve.

820
00:49:48.180 --> 00:49:50.620
So it has to look painful and it's going to be really hard.

821
00:49:50.620 --> 00:49:55.060
It's like, I don't want to anticipate it the way I am to be so hard all the time.

822
00:49:55.060 --> 00:49:59.580
And I feel like I'm bracing when I don't want to be bracing because I'm viewing it through.

823
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.000
pain isn't like wanted. I don't want pain. Right. And pain's not a great sign because it means

824
00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:10.560
there's stuff that really needs healed. And that's kind of embarrassing in a way or shameful.

825
00:50:10.560 --> 00:50:14.480
And so there's like this toxic shame underneath it. That's has me every day wondering, okay,

826
00:50:14.480 --> 00:50:19.200
how do I do this with you? God, here I am. Like, here's my schedule completely cleared,

827
00:50:19.200 --> 00:50:26.000
but it feels so painful and heavy all the time that it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like

828
00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:30.720
how you want me, like, where's the joy? Where's the laughter? Where's the playfulness? Like,

829
00:50:30.720 --> 00:50:36.080
how do we do this to where there's balance and not just heavy pain all the time?

830
00:50:38.320 --> 00:50:43.200
Excellent question. Okay. So remember that if we're supposed to do everything in rest,

831
00:50:43.200 --> 00:50:48.480
that includes healing. So the healing is not for you to do. It's not your next project that God's

832
00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:54.800
given you that you have to accomplish. So, um, so that is what makes it so hard. I mean, yes,

833
00:50:55.120 --> 00:50:59.600
there's, there's the whole thing of like grieving that if that's painful, I'm, I'm, I'm not negating

834
00:50:59.600 --> 00:51:03.040
that. Yeah. There is pain that comes up, et cetera. But what I'm talking about is I'm talking

835
00:51:03.040 --> 00:51:07.280
about this other thing that you're talking about. You're talking about like this, Lord,

836
00:51:07.280 --> 00:51:10.800
just this whole process. I understand the pain that's going to come up that I have to deal with,

837
00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:15.360
that I have to heal from that. But Lord, there's this whole thing about like the actual process

838
00:51:15.360 --> 00:51:21.680
itself that just feels heavy. It feels like there's this struggle to struggle. So to speak,

839
00:51:21.680 --> 00:51:27.680
there's just this, this heaviness in the, in, in the, in the healing. And, um, so that lets us

840
00:51:27.680 --> 00:51:32.080
know that we're actually holding on to that. We're actually taking,

841
00:51:34.080 --> 00:51:36.080
how do I put that without like making it sound,

842
00:51:38.160 --> 00:51:46.240
sound different. Um, we are taking on the responsibility, if you will, the burden,

843
00:51:46.240 --> 00:51:53.200
the weight and the responsibility of the healing of accomplishing the healing of whatever. So God

844
00:51:53.200 --> 00:52:00.640
will do that. He just wants us to make ourselves available and not resistant because God, because

845
00:52:00.640 --> 00:52:05.440
like what we were talking about earlier, God sends the word out and the word will just,

846
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:09.760
will do its work. So if he says that you're healed, if he says that he brings healing by

847
00:52:09.760 --> 00:52:14.720
his stripes, et cetera, then he will do all of that work. And he's actually already set up your

848
00:52:14.720 --> 00:52:19.280
body and your soul and your spirit to know how to do it themselves without you even consciously

849
00:52:19.280 --> 00:52:25.360
being part without you consciously having to walk them through it or know how to do it or

850
00:52:25.360 --> 00:52:33.280
micromanage them or whatever. But what you have to do is to not be in resistance. And so anyway,

851
00:52:33.280 --> 00:52:37.520
so the thing is like, say for instance, you've got this whole schedule cleared. So your project

852
00:52:38.080 --> 00:52:42.640
is not to try to heal yourself is not to try to, okay, what's the next thing that I can focus on

853
00:52:42.640 --> 00:52:46.800
and look at and whatever. Sure. There might be times where God says, Hey, I want you to sit down

854
00:52:46.800 --> 00:52:51.840
and journal things. Or maybe for instance, I don't know if you are, but let's say for, I'm just

855
00:52:51.840 --> 00:52:57.840
making some notes. Let's say that you're going to a therapist then. I'm so sorry. This is important.

856
00:52:59.920 --> 00:53:06.080
Um, uh, sorry, this is my, um, my nephew, uh, my one-year-old nephew and they just,

857
00:53:06.080 --> 00:53:09.280
they took him to the ER. I just have to make sure he's okay.

858
00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:21.600
Take your time. Yeah. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Well, no. Okay. Oh my God. All right. Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

859
00:53:21.600 --> 00:53:25.600
Like I said, he's that one year old and they just took him to the emergency room because they've all

860
00:53:25.600 --> 00:53:30.160
been very sick and he kind of like he's one year old. So you're trying to figure out what's going

861
00:53:30.160 --> 00:53:34.960
on. I think that he just became non-responsive and he it's like he blacked out or whatever.

862
00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:37.920
And they didn't know what was wrong. The pediatrician said, take him to the emergency

863
00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:44.320
room. And so they're telling us what's going on. So, um, anyway, um, I've already, I've already

864
00:53:44.320 --> 00:53:49.840
spent time praying over him. I was getting the update. Um, so sorry for the interruption. Um,

865
00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:55.600
okay. So I think this is where I left off. So you make yourself available, et cetera.

866
00:53:55.600 --> 00:54:00.320
And so sure there's say for instance, you are going to see a therapist right now, um, during

867
00:54:00.320 --> 00:54:04.880
this time. Well then if your therapist gave you homework, like, Hey, by the way, you need to

868
00:54:04.880 --> 00:54:09.760
journal like five minutes every day and you need to be walking through, you know, your feelings or

869
00:54:09.760 --> 00:54:17.280
whatever. Sure. Do that, do that project. And, um, you can do stuff like that, but that's not all you

870
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:25.840
have to do. God wants you to choose who it is that you actually are, which is the spirit, which is

871
00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:31.760
whole, which is joyful, which is peace. So those are things you can actually act on. Now you don't

872
00:54:31.760 --> 00:54:38.480
have to only act on trying to fix your soul and your body. You need to stand in who it is that you

873
00:54:38.480 --> 00:54:46.800
are and you have permission and an invitation by God to be that now. So, um, and I'm not saying

874
00:54:46.800 --> 00:54:50.400
anything that you don't feel like you can do and that you're struggling with because you haven't

875
00:54:50.400 --> 00:54:56.880
healed in that area yet. I'm just talking about if you want to have fun, go have fun, do it for

876
00:54:56.880 --> 00:54:59.840
five minutes, do it for half a day, do it for a whole day.

877
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.000
Whatever.

878
00:55:01.000 --> 00:55:06.520
It doesn't all have to, your life does not have to now be a project in which you're healing

879
00:55:06.520 --> 00:55:12.240
in which you are trying to figure it out in which you are, whatever you will heal faster.

880
00:55:12.240 --> 00:55:17.040
The more that you just kind of choose that you are who God says that you are, let God

881
00:55:17.040 --> 00:55:22.840
bring up the hard stuff, but God bring up what needs to be dealt with and all of the

882
00:55:22.840 --> 00:55:29.600
unbelief and all of the pain and all of the fear, let him bring those things up when he

883
00:55:29.600 --> 00:55:30.600
wants to.

884
00:55:30.600 --> 00:55:35.560
Again, I'm not negating the fact that you might have certain times of day that you choose

885
00:55:35.560 --> 00:55:40.000
between you and the Lord or your therapist or whatever, to set aside and like do a project

886
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:42.080
that'll help you kind of like process through stuff.

887
00:55:42.080 --> 00:55:43.080
Sure.

888
00:55:43.080 --> 00:55:44.080
I'm not negating that.

889
00:55:44.080 --> 00:55:46.000
I'm just saying it can be more than that.

890
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:51.120
I'm assuming that you're talking about viewing your whole life from the time that you were

891
00:55:51.120 --> 00:55:53.960
there your whole day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, it's like this

892
00:55:53.960 --> 00:56:03.880
project of like, I, my focus time right now in this time of my life is to focus on healing.

893
00:56:03.880 --> 00:56:07.840
And God's like, no, did you ever think about the fact that I wanted to just for you to

894
00:56:07.840 --> 00:56:14.680
just focus on making yourself available for me to heal you to set aside this time, very

895
00:56:14.680 --> 00:56:21.040
purposefully I'm presenting yourself to me and I'm just letting you know I'm going to

896
00:56:21.040 --> 00:56:26.800
use this time in which to heal you as opposed to him giving you a project that he wanted

897
00:56:26.800 --> 00:56:28.760
you to do.

898
00:56:28.760 --> 00:56:32.600
It's just more like, Hey, I'm notifying you that this is a season.

899
00:56:32.600 --> 00:56:33.600
This is a season.

900
00:56:33.600 --> 00:56:36.660
And I'm just telling you ahead of time, this is healing.

901
00:56:36.660 --> 00:56:37.720
This is rest.

902
00:56:37.720 --> 00:56:38.720
This is whatever.

903
00:56:38.720 --> 00:56:44.880
Um, but as opposed to like him giving you a task or something that he's looking at you

904
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:48.640
as a task master over your shoulder, wanting you to accomplish something.

905
00:56:48.640 --> 00:56:51.520
And you're like, I want to be a good student.

906
00:56:51.520 --> 00:56:52.520
I want to use this.

907
00:56:52.520 --> 00:56:54.480
I want to steward this time.

908
00:56:54.480 --> 00:56:56.200
And I don't mean this in a condemning way.

909
00:56:56.200 --> 00:56:59.360
I'm, I'm wanting to say this in a way of freedom.

910
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:06.480
I said that, I think that you are, um, uh, you know, that you're just that you were actually

911
00:57:06.480 --> 00:57:08.920
getting in the way of your own healing.

912
00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:10.600
And I say that for freedom.

913
00:57:10.600 --> 00:57:12.240
That is not for condemnation at all.

914
00:57:12.240 --> 00:57:14.280
I think you've, you've been with me two years.

915
00:57:14.280 --> 00:57:15.520
You understand how I talk.

916
00:57:15.520 --> 00:57:21.520
I am saying that you don't, your life doesn't have to be this hard.

917
00:57:21.520 --> 00:57:25.360
Your healing process does not have to feel this heavy.

918
00:57:25.360 --> 00:57:31.040
You don't have to carry that responsibility of feeling this heavy.

919
00:57:31.040 --> 00:57:32.040
Does that make sense?

920
00:57:32.040 --> 00:57:39.800
How I'm trying to say it is that as bad as it feels it, your, um, you actually are not

921
00:57:39.800 --> 00:57:45.360
being required by God to feel that heavy and to carry.

922
00:57:46.200 --> 00:57:50.440
It's not, it's not a backpack of rocks that God is requiring you to pick up every day

923
00:57:50.440 --> 00:57:51.960
that you wake up.

924
00:57:51.960 --> 00:57:53.760
That's what I'm trying to say.

925
00:57:53.760 --> 00:57:57.640
That's why I'm saying you're not condemned for having carried the backpack.

926
00:57:57.640 --> 00:58:01.960
It's free because you can let the backpack down.

927
00:58:01.960 --> 00:58:03.640
You can take it off.

928
00:58:03.640 --> 00:58:05.400
That's all I'm trying to say.

929
00:58:05.400 --> 00:58:09.520
So, um, I think that, and that's why I'm saying, I think you're getting in, in your own way.

930
00:58:09.520 --> 00:58:13.120
I'm not saying that, you know, to get onto, I'm saying that as in like, Hey, what you're

931
00:58:13.120 --> 00:58:16.160
doing as hard as that is kept what, guess what?

932
00:58:16.160 --> 00:58:17.320
You don't have to do it anymore.

933
00:58:17.320 --> 00:58:19.440
You have permission to stop.

934
00:58:19.440 --> 00:58:22.920
You know, you're not being made to do it because the only reason you're doing it is you feel

935
00:58:22.920 --> 00:58:27.440
like you're being made to, you feel like you have to, you feel like this is what's required.

936
00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:30.360
You feel like the teacher said so.

937
00:58:30.360 --> 00:58:34.960
And so God wants to say, Hey, no, no, you know what?

938
00:58:34.960 --> 00:58:39.000
You can do that if you want to, I'll still be with you, but I gave you permission to

939
00:58:39.000 --> 00:58:40.000
put it down.

940
00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:42.640
If you want, you don't have to.

941
00:58:43.160 --> 00:58:50.240
And my whole point is that by doing that, I think you'll heal faster.

942
00:58:50.240 --> 00:58:57.400
So all the hardness is actually what's making the, you feeling it so heavy and you feeling

943
00:58:57.400 --> 00:59:00.000
it so hard is actually what's making it harder.

944
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:05.200
So if you stop feeling it so hard, it'll stop being so hard and that's how you can give

945
00:59:05.200 --> 00:59:06.200
it to yourself.

946
00:59:06.200 --> 00:59:07.200
Does that make sense?

947
00:59:07.200 --> 00:59:08.200
No, it totally makes sense.

948
00:59:09.200 --> 00:59:15.120
It feels right because I'm going, man, with everything that I'm learning about rest and

949
00:59:15.120 --> 00:59:19.840
about who God really is and who I am, but then this, this feeling that I'm living with

950
00:59:19.840 --> 00:59:26.480
every day that it doesn't add up and the heaviness and the lack of clarity on how to go about

951
00:59:26.480 --> 00:59:27.480
the healing.

952
00:59:27.480 --> 00:59:28.480
It doesn't add up.

953
00:59:28.480 --> 00:59:33.520
And I know that in the middle of that was a season of like trials that threatened to

954
00:59:33.520 --> 00:59:37.400
trigger every deepest trauma and pain.

955
00:59:37.400 --> 00:59:42.680
And so it was almost like, because I was surviving through that, I came back to this with this

956
00:59:42.680 --> 00:59:49.040
heaviness to what he told me because I was in that lens of like, everything's painful

957
00:59:49.040 --> 00:59:51.120
and just bracing myself for that.

958
00:59:51.120 --> 00:59:54.440
But I didn't want to, but I did anyway.

959
00:59:54.440 --> 00:59:59.600
Just thinking this, this is the only way I know how to get through.

960
00:59:59.600 --> 00:59:59.960
And then.

961
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.060
And then when it came back to kind of normalcy in a way of like,

962
01:00:03.060 --> 01:00:05.860
I'm not in the crisis, I'm not in the emergency.

963
01:00:06.460 --> 01:00:10.340
Then it's like, Hey, then why am I still feeling this crappy?

964
01:00:11.200 --> 01:00:11.700
Yeah.

965
01:00:11.780 --> 01:00:17.400
Um, people live, uh, Oh, I wish I could remember how it's phrased that, um, uh,

966
01:00:17.460 --> 01:00:24.940
people with that, uh, can develop basically like that chronic stress or that chronic

967
01:00:24.940 --> 01:00:28.740
anxiety, they, they don't know they've lived so long with it.

968
01:00:28.740 --> 01:00:31.240
They don't know how to live life without it.

969
01:00:31.740 --> 01:00:34.920
Um, and, uh, Oh, there's something else I was going to say.

970
01:00:35.360 --> 01:00:39.260
Um, when you were talking about, um, all of that, I wish I could remember what it

971
01:00:39.260 --> 01:00:44.900
was, cause it was something encouraging, but I don't remember, but, um, Oh, shoot.

972
01:00:44.940 --> 01:00:45.600
What was it?

973
01:00:46.460 --> 01:00:49.820
Uh, Oh, well, you were saying, you know, that you, it's almost like you're

974
01:00:49.820 --> 01:00:53.700
waiting, always waiting for the other shoe to, for other shoe to drop.

975
01:00:54.180 --> 01:00:55.700
Um, Oh, that's what it was.

976
01:00:55.720 --> 01:00:56.600
That's what I was going to say.

977
01:00:56.600 --> 01:01:01.280
You were saying that you're bracing yourself and remember that it's usually

978
01:01:01.280 --> 01:01:05.720
the drunk people that survived their car crash on the joint people cause a car

979
01:01:05.720 --> 01:01:06.000
crash.

980
01:01:06.000 --> 01:01:07.700
It's usually the drunk people that survive.

981
01:01:07.700 --> 01:01:08.040
Why?

982
01:01:08.040 --> 01:01:13.240
Cause they didn't brace because when brace everything becomes rigid and

983
01:01:13.240 --> 01:01:15.620
you are more likely to get hurt.

984
01:01:16.160 --> 01:01:18.860
People die more by being rigid.

985
01:01:18.860 --> 01:01:22.040
And you think that you're trying to protect yourself, but actually, um,

986
01:01:22.080 --> 01:01:27.200
they, they say that generally speaking, because drunk people are more, are not,

987
01:01:27.280 --> 01:01:30.680
are more vulnerable and they're not bracing themselves and their inhibitions

988
01:01:30.680 --> 01:01:33.200
are down, their inhibitions are down.

989
01:01:33.520 --> 01:01:37.200
Then they have, um, then they have a tendency to survive because

990
01:01:37.200 --> 01:01:38.080
you're not bracing.

991
01:01:38.300 --> 01:01:39.520
In other words, they're flexible.

992
01:01:39.520 --> 01:01:42.680
So just remember that God will protect you.

993
01:01:42.920 --> 01:01:47.320
We're so used to going into situations, thinking that we have to be hyper

994
01:01:47.320 --> 01:01:52.800
vigilant because if we're not, we're not, we're not, um, what's the word?

995
01:01:53.200 --> 01:01:56.400
Um, we're not going to, we're going to be defenseless and

996
01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:57.600
therefore we're going to be hurt.

997
01:01:57.640 --> 01:02:01.520
But that's depending on ourselves to protect ourselves instead

998
01:02:01.520 --> 01:02:03.320
of trusting in God to do it.

999
01:02:03.680 --> 01:02:08.640
Case in point, God said that if you go before a, um, uh, that he said, you

1000
01:02:08.640 --> 01:02:12.720
know, if you were called before they had Sanhedrin or the high court or whatever

1001
01:02:12.720 --> 01:02:14.880
you said, he said, do not prepare.

1002
01:02:15.760 --> 01:02:18.200
You said the Holy spirit will reveal what you need to say and we'll

1003
01:02:18.200 --> 01:02:22.760
fill your mouth, you know, when it's needed, that is going into a situation,

1004
01:02:22.760 --> 01:02:28.320
full blown vulnerability of like, I'm not prepared because in God said very

1005
01:02:28.320 --> 01:02:33.720
specifically do not prepare and rely on me, rely on me as your source.

1006
01:02:33.720 --> 01:02:40.240
So he was saying, don't depend on yourself in order to, um, for, uh, to

1007
01:02:40.240 --> 01:02:45.360
constantly try to, I don't know, just be vigilant and like watch out for, um,

1008
01:02:45.400 --> 01:02:47.880
expecting and see that's the problem.

1009
01:02:47.920 --> 01:02:49.880
Expecting a demon under every rock.

1010
01:02:50.480 --> 01:02:56.840
It's because even the new agers know this when we, when we, when we anticipate

1011
01:02:56.840 --> 01:03:01.600
something, because human beings, the human soul has such, uh, how would I put

1012
01:03:01.600 --> 01:03:05.480
that creation has been, has been created to respond to a human soul.

1013
01:03:06.000 --> 01:03:10.200
And so when a human soul sends out intention that it expects negativity,

1014
01:03:10.360 --> 01:03:11.800
it attracts the negativity.

1015
01:03:12.440 --> 01:03:14.240
It's, and that's not a new age concept.

1016
01:03:14.240 --> 01:03:17.840
It's just that the new agers happen to understand that it actually is a truth.

1017
01:03:18.560 --> 01:03:21.400
So it's the same thing in the spirits, but spirit always talks about, Hey, I

1018
01:03:21.400 --> 01:03:22.680
was thinking about the good things.

1019
01:03:22.680 --> 01:03:24.360
So we think about positive things, et cetera.

1020
01:03:24.720 --> 01:03:28.000
So the thing is, if we're always anticipating something bad and we're

1021
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:32.280
always trying, we're trying, we're using that to try to prepare ourselves so

1022
01:03:32.280 --> 01:03:34.800
that we'll be safer when, and if it happens.

1023
01:03:35.200 --> 01:03:39.480
And then some people can take it into a very twisted way, like, um, a very

1024
01:03:39.480 --> 01:03:43.640
close family member of mine that I asked one time, why are you so worried all the

1025
01:03:43.640 --> 01:03:43.840
time?

1026
01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:44.600
Why do you worry?

1027
01:03:45.160 --> 01:03:49.400
Um, you use it kind of like a shield and they said, well, my mother told me one

1028
01:03:49.400 --> 01:03:54.160
time, um, many, many years ago, this was like this, uh, this, you know, person

1029
01:03:54.160 --> 01:03:55.400
that's like decades old.

1030
01:03:55.920 --> 01:04:01.840
And they said, well, my mother told me, um, once that, uh, that if you worry,

1031
01:04:02.200 --> 01:04:10.520
it won't happen if you, so they developed this sense of self-protection by worrying

1032
01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:11.960
that was their shield.

1033
01:04:12.160 --> 01:04:16.200
So anyway, you can get really corrupt and twisted and, and, um, do it that way.

1034
01:04:16.200 --> 01:04:20.760
But, um, um, so anyway, is, is all of this kind of like helpful?

1035
01:04:22.040 --> 01:04:22.280
Yeah.

1036
01:04:22.280 --> 01:04:25.840
And the Lord reminded me of like the birth process and just how, I mean, when I had

1037
01:04:25.840 --> 01:04:30.240
my home birth, which was opposite my first birth in the hospital, it was all about

1038
01:04:30.240 --> 01:04:34.520
not, I mean, I was just expanding and imagining my cervix expanding like a

1039
01:04:34.520 --> 01:04:34.920
flower.

1040
01:04:34.920 --> 01:04:38.360
Like there was like, if I resisted, it was going to hurt so much worse.

1041
01:04:39.200 --> 01:04:40.040
So, yeah.

1042
01:04:40.080 --> 01:04:42.840
And what you focus on expands too.

1043
01:04:42.840 --> 01:04:44.600
And so it makes total sense.

1044
01:04:45.040 --> 01:04:46.160
Yeah, exactly.

1045
01:04:46.480 --> 01:04:50.560
Um, let's see, I keep thinking of things when you're talking and then, and then

1046
01:04:50.560 --> 01:04:55.280
they, I, they escaped me, um, after, uh, when it's, um, when there's silence,

1047
01:04:55.280 --> 01:04:56.760
but anyway, so good.

1048
01:04:56.800 --> 01:04:57.760
Oh, that's what I was going to say.

1049
01:04:57.800 --> 01:04:58.080
Okay.

1050
01:04:58.080 --> 01:05:00.360
So to kind of like summarize.

1051
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.520
or give you something that you can do, I recommend instead of thinking, instead of, this is it,

1052
01:05:05.520 --> 01:05:13.600
instead of identifying this time of your life, this season, or whatever, as he is, like this,

1053
01:05:14.320 --> 01:05:22.400
back that you're going to be going through this, this struggle, and this suffering in order to

1054
01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:28.880
heal. Think of it more as like you are being freed. This is a time of rest. But remember,

1055
01:05:28.880 --> 01:05:33.760
you are being freed. God is going to free you, is freeing you during this time. The shackles are

1056
01:05:33.760 --> 01:05:37.120
coming off. In other words, you're just going to become lighter. So you can just be aware of it.

1057
01:05:37.120 --> 01:05:42.240
Okay, apparently I'm going to become lighter. This is a time of rest for me. But as far as

1058
01:05:42.240 --> 01:05:46.240
like getting up, and I actually, and so you're just aware of that. Okay, this is what God has

1059
01:05:46.240 --> 01:05:50.720
said about this season. But what I would recommend, and this helped, this changed everything for me,

1060
01:05:50.720 --> 01:05:55.920
is when I got up every day, not seeing it as a project, it was something that I had to do really

1061
01:05:55.920 --> 01:06:02.480
good at. But actually rather, okay, you know, just getting up out of bed and choosing, okay,

1062
01:06:03.440 --> 01:06:10.880
who does God say that I am? And just in just viewing life from this perspective of positivity,

1063
01:06:10.880 --> 01:06:17.760
of hopefulness, of my word, I'm in, I'm in Christ, I'm in a position of power and authority.

1064
01:06:17.760 --> 01:06:23.360
I am a king. I'm all of these great, you know, all of these great meaning like freeing,

1065
01:06:23.840 --> 01:06:29.680
love-filled, Christ-filled things, all my word, how do I want to live life today?

1066
01:06:30.320 --> 01:06:36.560
It's all from this very positive perspective of what do I want to do? In other words, what kind

1067
01:06:36.560 --> 01:06:41.520
of a life do I want to create? I'm not saying, well, I want to become a singer, and I want to do

1068
01:06:41.520 --> 01:06:46.320
this, and I want to have this, and I make these things happen. I don't mean that. I mean, you as

1069
01:06:46.320 --> 01:06:51.040
a son of God, how, what kind of a life do you want to create? I'm going to create one of joy.

1070
01:06:51.120 --> 01:06:56.640
I'm going to create one in which I am allowing the love that is in me to come up and bubble up

1071
01:06:56.640 --> 01:07:03.920
out of me into my interactions with other people, into other things that I do, other, I don't know,

1072
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:08.960
interactions that I have with other things in my life, loving working in my business, or loving

1073
01:07:08.960 --> 01:07:14.400
working in my ministry, or enjoying learning something new, or in other words, instead of

1074
01:07:14.400 --> 01:07:20.320
responding, reacting, and being a victim to whatever happens to come at me today, instead

1075
01:07:20.320 --> 01:07:26.640
choosing, no, no, okay, this is the day I get to live. I am me, and I'm actually making positive,

1076
01:07:26.640 --> 01:07:33.680
forward motion, progressive decisions between me and God about what we're going to do. Think of it

1077
01:07:33.680 --> 01:07:39.520
from this very positive perspective of every morning you wake up, and you discover more

1078
01:07:39.520 --> 01:07:44.880
clearly how to live God's truth, as opposed to, oh my goodness, today I've got to go through a lot

1079
01:07:44.880 --> 01:07:50.560
of struggle in order to face all of my pain, and face all the lies that I believed about God, and

1080
01:07:50.560 --> 01:07:57.040
then change into belief, and on my right, God says that, you know, what it is that he's put in your

1081
01:07:57.040 --> 01:08:01.920
soul, and your body, and your spirit automatically knows how to do that, and he's going to take you

1082
01:08:01.920 --> 01:08:06.000
on the own journey, on your own journey. If he brings stuff up where stuff is like triggered,

1083
01:08:06.000 --> 01:08:11.280
and prompted, and wants you to face it, face it, release it all to God in that moment, you know,

1084
01:08:11.280 --> 01:08:16.640
and you know how to do all of that, but that's not a project for you to pick up as a backpack

1085
01:08:16.640 --> 01:08:24.560
of rocks every day. Instead, you get up, and you live, oh my word, who am I? Who does he say that I am?

1086
01:08:24.560 --> 01:08:29.840
And then you go make breakfast like that, and you go take a shower like that. You go take a

1087
01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:37.840
shower as that person. You make breakfast as that person. You decide to phone a friend as that person.

1088
01:08:37.840 --> 01:08:41.359
You, I don't know, go to the grocery store as that person. You clean the house as that person.

1089
01:08:41.359 --> 01:08:45.600
You do whatever the heck you want to do. You sit on the couch and whatnot, not to watch Netflix as

1090
01:08:45.600 --> 01:08:50.880
that person. Whatever the heck you want to do, you know. I think, believe that God is good.

1091
01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:57.600
Wake up every day choosing, my God is good. If God is that good, what do I want to do today,

1092
01:08:57.600 --> 01:09:04.240
and who am I, and live life from that positively. Does that help? Yeah, that helps so much. Thank you

1093
01:09:04.240 --> 01:09:12.960
so much. Do you have a question Renata? I couldn't tell if you're removing your hands. Oh yeah, I was

1094
01:09:12.960 --> 01:09:18.800
actually, this is really good. I was just thinking that you said something about to not know how to

1095
01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:27.040
live without stress. I think that was interesting. Oh, that some people, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because it's

1096
01:09:27.040 --> 01:09:34.319
been, I don't know if they just, because I feel like sometimes I don't know how to live without

1097
01:09:34.319 --> 01:09:40.319
stress, because there's been, and I've burnt out several times, and I don't know how to,

1098
01:09:41.200 --> 01:09:46.560
that's kind of safety in a way, that you're stressed, and it's just kind of who you are,

1099
01:09:46.560 --> 01:09:51.120
and you're always busy, always stressed, and almost kind of like a state, and you don't know

1100
01:09:51.120 --> 01:09:56.880
how to live without it, and you just mentioned it, so I thought if you could elaborate on it,

1101
01:09:56.880 --> 01:09:59.840
or I don't know, because obviously I don't want to.

1102
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.240
I think I'm realizing right now that I want out of this and I'm actually living in stress

1103
01:10:05.240 --> 01:10:11.640
and I wasn't fully aware of it because I'm so used to it, to it for many years and, and

1104
01:10:11.640 --> 01:10:12.640
what do I, yeah.

1105
01:10:12.640 --> 01:10:13.640
Yeah.

1106
01:10:13.640 --> 01:10:19.640
Well, one of the things is that it's important to not identify ourselves as that and to as

1107
01:10:19.640 --> 01:10:24.520
someone who is high stressed or as always feeling that way is always feeling heavy,

1108
01:10:24.520 --> 01:10:29.560
always feeling pulled, always feeling restrained, always feeling, you know, whatever.

1109
01:10:29.560 --> 01:10:32.800
And that's another thing that came to mind.

1110
01:10:32.800 --> 01:10:34.560
So we don't definitely don't want to identify it.

1111
01:10:34.560 --> 01:10:35.560
And here's the other thing.

1112
01:10:35.560 --> 01:10:36.560
We don't want to value it.

1113
01:10:36.560 --> 01:10:42.700
So a lot of times we value it because we think that it's stress that not only protects us.

1114
01:10:42.700 --> 01:10:47.360
So there's that, but there's also this thing of like stress is what high performers have.

1115
01:10:47.360 --> 01:10:52.640
But if I want to get anywhere, if I want anything positive, yeah, if I went, yeah, busy people

1116
01:10:52.640 --> 01:10:56.760
are important people and busy people get stuff done and busy people actually get what

1117
01:10:56.760 --> 01:10:57.760
they want.

1118
01:10:57.760 --> 01:10:58.760
It's bogus, you know?

1119
01:10:58.760 --> 01:11:01.160
I mean, well, I mean, I say it's bogus.

1120
01:11:01.160 --> 01:11:04.880
I mean, it, it isn't, it's bogus in the kingdom.

1121
01:11:04.880 --> 01:11:08.720
You can get that to work in the, in the world, but that's, that's sweat.

1122
01:11:08.720 --> 01:11:09.720
It's a lot of hard work.

1123
01:11:09.720 --> 01:11:11.080
If y'all want to live like that, that's fine.

1124
01:11:11.080 --> 01:11:15.280
I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to live.

1125
01:11:15.280 --> 01:11:21.440
I want a higher, higher quality of life than getting what I want because I stressfully

1126
01:11:21.440 --> 01:11:23.080
worked for it through sweat.

1127
01:11:23.080 --> 01:11:24.080
I have tried that.

1128
01:11:24.080 --> 01:11:28.080
And I'm telling you what, I was not satisfied when I got what I wanted, it just, it just

1129
01:11:28.080 --> 01:11:29.080
didn't satisfy.

1130
01:11:29.080 --> 01:11:30.080
I didn't have the word.

1131
01:11:30.080 --> 01:11:32.320
So I gave it all up to live from a place of rest.

1132
01:11:32.320 --> 01:11:37.280
And then all of a sudden my, my life opened up more and I became even more quote unquote

1133
01:11:37.280 --> 01:11:38.280
successful.

1134
01:11:38.280 --> 01:11:43.440
And the fact like I felt successful, I felt like I'm a son, I'm a king.

1135
01:11:43.440 --> 01:11:50.120
I don't mean that the world thinks of me as successful because trust me, they don't.

1136
01:11:50.120 --> 01:11:55.120
I mean, you know, you know how it is, you know, Jesus says that a prophet is respected

1137
01:11:55.120 --> 01:11:57.520
everywhere except in his own hometown, you know?

1138
01:11:57.520 --> 01:12:03.000
So a lot of people who know me, they just don't, they may not think they like me, but

1139
01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:07.880
they don't know what to think of what it is that I do, because I don't feel successful.

1140
01:12:07.880 --> 01:12:13.040
Ashley, you've got no house you had, you know, do you have no, whatever, all of these milestones

1141
01:12:13.040 --> 01:12:15.320
that they think you should hit by my age.

1142
01:12:15.320 --> 01:12:19.860
And then for a while I had never dated and I wasn't married, you know, and all kinds

1143
01:12:20.600 --> 01:12:21.600
of things.

1144
01:12:21.600 --> 01:12:22.600
So there were, I didn't tick all of their boxes.

1145
01:12:22.600 --> 01:12:27.180
So I don't, I don't look successful to other people, but for me, I feel like, Oh my word,

1146
01:12:27.180 --> 01:12:28.180
I'm finally satisfied.

1147
01:12:28.180 --> 01:12:29.180
Oh my word.

1148
01:12:29.180 --> 01:12:30.180
This is what it is.

1149
01:12:30.180 --> 01:12:35.700
I chose the quality of life over that other quality, that other lower, what I felt was

1150
01:12:35.700 --> 01:12:40.380
lower quality of life where I was just stressed in order to, and then I just worked for specific

1151
01:12:40.380 --> 01:12:41.380
stuff.

1152
01:12:41.380 --> 01:12:46.500
So anyway, it's not that it doesn't work, but you have to work a lot harder for it.

1153
01:12:46.500 --> 01:12:50.020
And, and it all, it all turns to ash in the end.

1154
01:12:50.020 --> 01:12:54.500
Anyway, it all burns as wood, hay and stubble, and it doesn't carry over into eternity.

1155
01:12:54.500 --> 01:13:01.000
The other carries over into eternity because it transforms the old earth into the new earth.

1156
01:13:01.000 --> 01:13:05.420
And it transforms flesh into spirit, and it actually changes creation.

1157
01:13:05.420 --> 01:13:10.740
It's B, it's ruling as a King, it's ruling as a son, it's, it's stepping into freedom

1158
01:13:10.740 --> 01:13:12.860
and then freeing everything else.

1159
01:13:12.860 --> 01:13:16.940
You know, it's that, and it's stepping into freedom because someone else died for you.

1160
01:13:16.940 --> 01:13:20.740
And now it's you dying for the rest of creation that it might step into, that it might step

1161
01:13:20.740 --> 01:13:21.740
into freedom.

1162
01:13:21.740 --> 01:13:27.620
But anyway, but yeah, some people just live with that hyperstate of vigilance, of stress,

1163
01:13:27.620 --> 01:13:33.740
of anxiety, and it can just, it can just become, I don't know, just, it can just become chronic

1164
01:13:33.740 --> 01:13:38.060
and people can not only identify with it, you know, and think that it's so valuable

1165
01:13:38.060 --> 01:13:40.940
that they don't want to give it up because they feel that they're losing who it is that

1166
01:13:40.940 --> 01:13:41.940
they are.

1167
01:13:42.020 --> 01:13:43.220
It's weird as that sounds.

1168
01:13:43.220 --> 01:13:48.100
I know people who identify so much with being a victim that when they have blatantly been

1169
01:13:48.100 --> 01:13:53.140
given the opportunity, oh, I'll just mention who, well, I won't mention who it was, but

1170
01:13:53.140 --> 01:13:57.140
my sister who's in the rest intensive, she's not in this one, but she's like in the big

1171
01:13:57.140 --> 01:13:59.660
Facebook group, Audra Holsworth.

1172
01:13:59.660 --> 01:14:03.820
She was visiting with somebody that she and I know that she and this other person used

1173
01:14:03.820 --> 01:14:06.980
to commiserate with and be like, oh my word, life is so hard.

1174
01:14:06.980 --> 01:14:08.980
They would go, they were depressed together.

1175
01:14:08.980 --> 01:14:12.740
And by that, I literally mean that they were both going through depression on major medication

1176
01:14:12.740 --> 01:14:18.980
for years, like at least a decade, if not two, I mean, like, anyway, like one, maybe

1177
01:14:18.980 --> 01:14:21.060
a decade, decade and a half, something like that.

1178
01:14:21.060 --> 01:14:24.060
Anyway, they were going through all of this stuff and oh my word, they call each other

1179
01:14:24.060 --> 01:14:28.020
all the time and commiserate about how awful they felt and isn't this awful that life is

1180
01:14:28.020 --> 01:14:29.020
like this.

1181
01:14:29.020 --> 01:14:32.460
And this is what's happening with kids and this is what happening with, I don't know,

1182
01:14:32.460 --> 01:14:35.380
my husband, this is what happening with whatever.

1183
01:14:35.380 --> 01:14:42.460
And they would just, they would feed each other's horrible and affirm each other's

1184
01:14:42.460 --> 01:14:43.700
victim state.

1185
01:14:43.700 --> 01:14:49.580
Well, my sister, the Lord finally like worked on her heart through, I don't know, just revealing

1186
01:14:49.580 --> 01:14:50.580
things to her.

1187
01:14:50.580 --> 01:14:56.800
And the fact that I was, she was watching me change and then she would, she would feel

1188
01:14:56.800 --> 01:14:58.660
my love for her.

1189
01:14:58.660 --> 01:15:00.020
And like, I just had loved and accepted.

1190
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.080
where it is that she was, but my life was looking more free, but I was accepting and loving her

1191
01:15:04.080 --> 01:15:08.000
where she was. And I wasn't requiring her to change. In fact, I didn't tell her what it

1192
01:15:08.000 --> 01:15:11.920
is that I thought or give her any advice unless she asked for it. And that caught her attention

1193
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:18.560
that I was happy and I was changing and she was unhappy, but I never preached to her or anything.

1194
01:15:18.560 --> 01:15:23.120
So she finally thought, okay, I'm going to hear Ashley, what this whole rest intensive is about

1195
01:15:23.120 --> 01:15:27.040
and what it is you teach other people. Cause I don't understand how you could let grow up in

1196
01:15:27.040 --> 01:15:31.840
the same household that I do and that I did and know something different. So she didn't think it

1197
01:15:31.840 --> 01:15:36.960
would work anyway. So she joined the rest intensive, her life totally changed. And she's like,

1198
01:15:36.960 --> 01:15:40.880
all my word. I didn't know. It's like, all of a sudden the Bible opened up to her God.

1199
01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:47.360
She said the Trinity showed up with her in the shower. She says she prayed to the Lord in a new

1200
01:15:47.360 --> 01:15:50.640
way for the first time. And she said, God, the father, God, the son of God, the Holy spirit all

1201
01:15:50.640 --> 01:15:55.200
showed up. And she's like, and she says, she, the way she relates it is she says,

1202
01:15:56.080 --> 01:16:02.880
hi, she just kind of like told everybody. Oh, hi. Anyway. So it just changed her life. She began

1203
01:16:02.880 --> 01:16:08.320
living in all of this freaking mix. She then went though. My point in telling you the story is it

1204
01:16:08.320 --> 01:16:13.440
changed her so much. She then went and told our friend, she said, oh my word, I have, you know,

1205
01:16:13.440 --> 01:16:19.440
things are changing. You know, you, I didn't realize that, you know, life could be like this.

1206
01:16:20.240 --> 01:16:24.320
I've read the Bible my whole life, but I'd never understood that this other, that this is what it

1207
01:16:24.320 --> 01:16:29.360
meant. And now I see it in the Bible and she's, and she told our, my friend, she said, will you

1208
01:16:29.360 --> 01:16:34.240
please come into the rest intensive with me? And she just used that because I was the only person

1209
01:16:34.240 --> 01:16:39.680
that she knew that was talking like this now, but you know, and she just knew I had a program where

1210
01:16:39.680 --> 01:16:43.840
I like taught it and where she could be in a community with other people who were doing it too.

1211
01:16:44.480 --> 01:16:48.080
So it's not like I'm the only one who teaches this or anything, but I'm somebody that they

1212
01:16:48.080 --> 01:16:51.520
both knew. So she's like, Ashley, she said, you know, someone said, you've got to join this

1213
01:16:51.520 --> 01:16:57.600
program. She said, do it with me. And here's the reason that she gave, she said, she said,

1214
01:16:57.600 --> 01:17:02.720
because so-and-so and I'll call her Jane, her name is not Jane, but she said, she said, Jane,

1215
01:17:02.720 --> 01:17:09.280
she said, I'm changing. She said, I am no longer where you currently are. And I don't want to leave

1216
01:17:09.280 --> 01:17:17.840
you there alone because she had, she and my, and our friend had been, had kept each other company

1217
01:17:17.920 --> 01:17:23.200
in the pit and she had found a way out and she was living in freedom. And she turned back on

1218
01:17:23.200 --> 01:17:28.960
her friend. She said, I don't want to leave you alone. Will you please, will you please hear

1219
01:17:28.960 --> 01:17:33.360
Ashley out? And will you please, you know, hear this message of the gospel, et cetera. She was a

1220
01:17:33.360 --> 01:17:37.760
Christian and everything, but she's like, will you please hear this new thing? And my friend said,

1221
01:17:37.760 --> 01:17:45.920
no. And the reason is, and I know my friend very well for decades, because she identified as a

1222
01:17:45.920 --> 01:17:52.400
victim. That was how she valued herself. She did not think that she had any value outside of being

1223
01:17:52.960 --> 01:18:02.720
attacked and oppressed and for life being hard. She, she identified herself in that to the point

1224
01:18:02.720 --> 01:18:09.360
where she felt like she would lose who she was and she would lose her significance and value

1225
01:18:09.360 --> 01:18:15.760
in other people's eyes. And and I don't know, maybe to herself and she wouldn't know who she

1226
01:18:15.760 --> 01:18:23.360
was if she wasn't a victim anymore. And so she said, no. So, so anyway, it's fine. And she's

1227
01:18:23.360 --> 01:18:27.840
just one example. So I know people that can identify as a victim that can identify in high

1228
01:18:27.840 --> 01:18:32.480
stress and this, that high stress is a totally different, you know, like scenario than like the

1229
01:18:32.480 --> 01:18:37.440
victim, but in high stress, or you can identify in these things so much where it becomes so

1230
01:18:37.440 --> 01:18:44.240
important to you and so entrenched in how you see yourself that in order to choose God, you

1231
01:18:44.240 --> 01:18:51.040
feel like you're completely lose your sense of being. And so anyway, it's very similar to Jesus

1232
01:18:51.040 --> 01:18:55.920
talking about a wealthy people and talking about how hard it was for wealthy people to enter the

1233
01:18:55.920 --> 01:19:01.920
kingdom. It's not impossible. It's just that there is so much that they have identified with that

1234
01:19:01.920 --> 01:19:07.200
they now have to let go of. And he says that is very hard to do once you're that entrenched.

1235
01:19:08.080 --> 01:19:16.560
So anyway, so is that helpful? Yes. Thank you. You're welcome. Well, it's good to get to visit

1236
01:19:16.560 --> 01:19:24.960
with everybody. I think, yeah, it's 1022. So go to bed, but it's good to see everyone. If y'all

1237
01:19:24.960 --> 01:19:30.160
have any questions, just feel free to put them in the chat. I, I realized today that I thought that

1238
01:19:30.160 --> 01:19:37.520
I had responded to people and put in who had put in a journey shares this week. And I was looking

1239
01:19:37.520 --> 01:19:42.720
through them, I think last night before I made my trip here. And I thought, and I couldn't find my

1240
01:19:42.720 --> 01:19:46.880
comments because I always make sure I like literally try to answer every single post that

1241
01:19:46.880 --> 01:19:52.240
it gets posted in that group. And I was like, I can't find my responses. Did I have dreamed this

1242
01:19:52.240 --> 01:19:58.480
up? So I apologize. I didn't realize that I hadn't answered you people though, because I listened and

1243
01:19:58.480 --> 01:20:00.000
watched and read all of them.

1244
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:10.000
So I will go and comment on them and answer any questions that are in there, but it's good to see everyone and I'm going to open up another.

1245
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:22.000
The next teaching and hope y'all are enjoying the blessing your spirit that Ed is doing for y'all in the in the mornings and have good and yeah and I will talk to y'all on Sunday.

1246
01:20:22.000 --> 01:20:27.000
See y'all on Sunday for the rest of it. We're so excited. She joined us for nada. I hope you get some good sleep.

1247
01:20:27.000 --> 01:20:31.000
So good to see you guys. Finally, to get to see your faces.

1248
01:20:31.000 --> 01:20:34.000
You guys a little bit. Yeah.

1249
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:37.000
All right, well, I'll see y'all later. Bye.

1250
01:20:37.000 --> 01:20:42.000
Bye.