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It's good to see everybody.

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Does anyone have any questions that are a question they'd like to start us off with

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or to catch us up on how they've been doing the past several days since Sunday?

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Just kind of what's going on and just like kind of like a little journey share of maybe

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something you're struggling with or something really neat that the Lord that you noticed

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that the Lord manifested his character as in your life and you thought, oh my word,

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you know, that is God manifesting his goodness and I can finally recognize that or his love

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or protection or his provision because when we start to choose that that's who he is,

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we start to look for how he manifests those different aspects of his character as opposed

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to looking for different things to happen and then choosing as a result of those things

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to dictate to ourselves whether or not God's actually being good or whether God's actually

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is who he says that he is, but instead you would choose that he is that thing and then

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you begin to see evidence of it in ways that you aren't used to seeing it.

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You're not used to seeing like such and such is actually God being love or such and such

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as God being good and but if you choose first that that's his character, then you start

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recognizing certain not milestones but certain events or certain things that happen as actually

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God's goodness when you wouldn't have given him credit for it before you would have thought

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even sometimes that that would have been God being the opposite that that would have been

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proof that God wasn't being good or or loving or whatever so anyway, so does anyone have

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anything that they would like to start us off with? Hey Kate.

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I can always try to pull something out of a hat. I don't have anything at the moment.

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I have I have something yeah so I guess I feel like like I've been going been up and

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down things have been up and down for me yesterday was really really good and I just

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I felt like I've just really been able to enter God's rest and like give give up my need to

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control things need to see what the future looks like but I've I've been really struggling with

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my relationship with my husband and I don't know how to go about this. I feel like I'm

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extra critical towards him. I feel like I'm as the perfectionist that I am as I like to be

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have everything perfect that I always like to you know parents parent gently and as I call it

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gentle parenting versus how we used to parents like most of the world parents and as well as

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like in our faith that our faith community and getting going to find a church. I'm having a hard

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time like surrendering control of him leading our home in regards to the spiritual leadership of our

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home. I feel like I've kind of been the leader in that area and he's kind of come along beside

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beside me in that and I have all these things and it's I feel like it's all culminating into

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like this just frustration like I feel I'm like the frustrated one and he just wants me to be happy

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and I don't know what to do with it. With what? With which part? With with gosh all of it

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with the the frustration the criticalness I have towards him like he's not doing enough

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he doesn't want to grow as much as I do I'm having like those kind of thoughts. Yeah yeah

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um so many things okay I mean that not not as a problem that so many like different ways that you

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could view this and come at this it's my point so in other words it's easier and that I have so many

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things that came to mind I'm like oh yeah um uh oh man my goodness where to where to start

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uh the okay so I'll just jump in so one of the first things is that the more that he is is you

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choose him over your kids and you choose him over your household over how they grow up um over what

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is that happening you know with that over your um over your family life so to speak um and and

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that can be very very very very very very hard so I'm not negating that at all I'm fully

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So it's very, very hard, but it doesn't mean that we don't still, it's not still required.

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Anyway, as hard as that is to actually do by doing it by, by choosing him, he will, it will fix everything else.

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Because, because for one thing, you were wanting to him to, to stand, you would, I mean, I would imagine that you would prefer him to stand up in the spiritual leadership role, if he could handle it.

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So in other words, you've been doing it because it's not being done but if he could handle it, I'm assuming that you would rather can do it.

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That's what I figure most, most wives, whether, I don't know, there's just something in us that just knows that's how it's supposed to be.

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So anyway, he, they have to be, I mean, it goes for any human being, but just, just talking very specifically about husbands talking very specifically about, about men.

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They just really have to be, have to have the wife come and come and support them, support who it is that they are.

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And yes, the job that they're doing and the fact of how they like to be affirmed that they get so much affirmation off of what it is that they do and what it is the accomplished.

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So yes, that is important to affirm, et cetera, but that, that he is, is good enough for you as he is without having to accomplish, you know, so in other words, even if you would have him do something different than what it is that he chose to do.

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In other words, how it is that he chose to handle the situation you're choosing him instead and supporting him, you know, affirming him and whatever, even if you don't like the outcome, even if you thought it was mistaken.

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If you're like, look, I told you so, or if I had let myself, I would have told you so, or whatever, but instead choosing him over the outcome.

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And then he will learn that he real that you really are.

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The word force has a negative connotation so I don't want to use that you're giving him space to hold the responsibility because you're no longer holding it.

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You want to take up the responsibility because no one's taking it.

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And because it's like you're letting them so it's the same thing that we do with the Lord we stop controlling in order to give him the space to actually do it, which is what faith is because it's kind of like, okay, you know, I'm trying to protect myself and so we're

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working really hard I'm trying to protect myself but God you know I'd prefer you to come in and protect me instead God's like I can't, if you're doing it.

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So it's the same thing you know with them. If we're trying to control an outcome, like with the kids were with, you know, even church decision or, you know, whatever, then, then they won't, there won't be space for them to actually.

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Man, what are the words like to not to kind of to there won't be space for them to actually do it for them to kind of prove themselves to step into that, you know, or whatever.

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And yes, these are areas in which I have to trust my husband in as well, and that I'm actually actively walking out in certain areas of my life. And yeah, it's very hard.

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There's so many different people who in certain areas of our life you know live very differently. And, you know, I can no longer do and make decisions in the same way that I used to, you know, especially like for instance if I think oh well following the Lord

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you know I do it like this. And it's like, well I do it like this. Well, so what do we do. And so I've really had to just really learn with the Lord and I'm still learning, you know how to submit that to the Lord if I'm like yeah but if we do

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it this way we get this outcome, and he's like, you know, so you gotta understand I follow the Lord, you know, and the Lord has shown up in amazing ways this is how you follow him, you know, in this, in this way and so anyway, but what I've done is I have

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and I've told the Lord this is like God you know I believe that, you know, me and my relationship with you is ultra ultra importance to you. However, you have united me with my husband, and I am and call me to submit to him so Lord even though we discussed

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the he and I discussed things and whatever that ultimately what it is that I did is I chose him. So Lord I'm choosing him over that of how that over how he and his decisions and his perspective his approach is whatever the situation is, is calling for affects

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my life.

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Now I don't have the complication the emotional complication currently of adding children to the mix, so I'm fully aware that that is not something that I can speak to with experience, but I personally believe that it doesn't change the truth.

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That's for you, between you and the Lord, I have not walked into that with experience yet with children, but my point is that I do know that God wants us to always choose our husband, you know spouses over.

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the children, we're actually one with our children. We're not one with our,

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sorry, we're one with our spouses. We're not one with our children.

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Um, and then with our children, you know, we have them for 18 years in the house and they,

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and they grow up and they move on, but we're worth our husbands, like,

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you know, however long that we live. So anyway, the thing is that we have to continually choose

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them and by choosing them, then it's creating space for them to be able to make decisions.

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And they have, they typically then rise to that, to the rise to the occasion, maybe not always,

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and the, and just because they rise to the occasion. Okay. Let, let me, let me rephrase

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it a different way. They can, we'll create a bit. Well, when we're submitting ourselves to them,

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we're submitting ourselves to the protection that they choose to provide in the form that

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they choose to provide it in. We don't get to choose that. They get to choose that. Now. Yeah,

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we get, we talk about it, but what I mean is like, when you talk about like ultimate surrender to

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God, just like, you know, ultimate like a submission to, to our, our, our husbands,

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there's the, there's a thing where we are, what we're doing is we are submitting ourselves to

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their protection, just like we do with the Lord, to their provision, but in the way that they

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believe it should be offered us. Otherwise we're out from under them taking the reins and taking

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control or whatever. So this is the role and the authority that they were that they were given by

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God and equipped by God to stand in. And we're then, but the way that they believe that they

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actually can is if we come under and support them and allow them to show up, allow them to rise to

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that place. And have you gotten to governing creation relationships? Have you watched that

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one yet? Yeah, I just did today. Okay. So, you know, in there, I talk about like seeing them

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in the spirit and then they end up rising to that position. Yeah. Did I talk about that on there?

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Okay. Cause it's been a while since I've watched that one. So it's like, I think I talked about

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that one in that session, but anyway, if you, because if you interact with your spouse, the

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way that you actually seeing them in spirit, which means seeing them in their spirit, as opposed to

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their soul or their body that they're presenting themselves as, which could be them not trusting

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the Lord. It could be them taking like the protection and provision in their own hands,

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not, and not trusting the Lord to do that for their family. It could be, well, they think that,

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I don't know, it could be all kinds of things. Well, this is how I was raised. So this is how

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I'm going to raise my children. Oh my goodness. Don't you know that that's going to put them in

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therapy for 10 years? You know, I mean, we're not talking about abuse. We're talking about just like

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different ways of raising children. That kind of a thing. It's if, if we actually see them for who

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it is that they are, and then we interact with them like that, they typically over time will

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rise to that position. And it can be challenging, especially to navigate the journey until they get

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there. But, and even when they get there, you know, for one thing they have to, they have to

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have grace for us. And for the, for another, there's going to be new areas in which we're

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going to have to start seeing them in the spirit. And just like with the Lord, it's like a very

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continual journey. But the, the reason that I wanted to mention that is there is hope,

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and that's actually the way in which we can foundationally change and support some,

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basically encourage somebody else's change out of love without manipulating them because we're

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loving them into, into feeling safe enough to be who it is that God has declared them to be,

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because we're choosing to already see and interact with them like that.

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And then they begin to rise to that position because they're, that is what you are

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emotionally relying on them for. But if you're always protecting yourself from them in order

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to protect yourself from disappointment, protecting yourself from the outcome that

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could happen, which is what that whole thing of, I told you, so it comes from, you know,

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it's an attack on someone else showing that no, not only did you not trust them, but you're now

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choose that Brit you're now choosing to put them down in order to elevate yourself over them. And

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no one feels emotionally safe in a relationship like that. So it's just always choosing them

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instead of the outcome, even when the outcome actually that you feared would happen actually

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ends up happening. It's you choose them regardless of the outcome. And yes, I do live this out.

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So I'm not talking in theory and all like, Oh, you know, if I were in that situation,

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no, no, no, no. We all have that poor Ed has me to deal with. He all needs your prayers.

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But from my perspective and the way I see things, regardless of whether I'm right or wrong in this

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situation, I'm still having to V I'm still having to walk out and do what it is that I just walked

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that I would just walk

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through like what I was just walking through and explanation is, um, it's, I have to see

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him as the Lord sees them and, um, and interact with them like that.

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And I have, and, um, I know that he's, he's prayed a lot over me, both publicly meaning

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like to me, you know, not publicly, but in private, you know, with me, but he's also,

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I happen to know he privately has prayed over certain things about me to be changed.

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I don't mean changed like a, like he's manipulating and he's picked specific things.

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I mean that there are certain ways in which I am manifesting wounds and hurts.

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And he is like, Lord, will you come in and heal those things?

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And so I'm watching those things be healed as a result of his private prayers that he

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is currently having to bear some very, um, unfortunate, um, uh, I don't know, but results

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of, because I'm wounded in particular areas and then he has to bear the brunt of, of it.

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But then, um, um, and then I also am watching him change as a result of me supporting his

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re supporting him when he says yes.

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And when he says no, so, and, um, I've only been married five and a

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half months, I think something like that.

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And, um, which doesn't sound long, but it feels like a very long time.

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We're marrying when I'm 38 and he's 49.

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We, we were very established in our own way of doing things.

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And we also are generally very flexible people.

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Um, but we have particular ways in which we think it's right in order to follow

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the Lord or make particular decisions with the Lord in particular ways.

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And that that's has formed and, um, and, and just, uh, I don't know.

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It's just, it's just formed our relationship with him.

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And so to find that someone else has had a very different experience and

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now you're supposed to live life together and make those decisions

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together, it creates challenges.

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So anyway, we're both, um, praying for each other again, praying that God and

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who it is that he's created us to be will continue to manifest not praying that Lord.

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I don't like that.

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Will you make that thing change?

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Um, and another thing me personally, I, uh, I mean, personally, meaning

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like just talking about me and God.

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Um, there were things that I just naturally just didn't feel protected

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in whether emotionally or whether it was some like physical thing.

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I don't mean like, like physical abuse.

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I'm talking about like a, like a physical object or something that I, um, uh, and,

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and then, and in talking to Ed, his perspective on it was very different.

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Thought it needed to be handled very different.

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And, and I thought, you know, I was used to being able to make all

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these decisions on my own and I could just do it.

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I didn't have to conference with anybody else about it.

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And now when I conference it, I no longer get my way.

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This is very frustrating.

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Um, uh, and, and so what I did is I've just submitted my protection to the Lord

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and feeling like, okay, Lord, you know, this is the situation.

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I mean, not when I say protection, understand it's not that I'm not

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protected, but that is the part in me that is being threatened.

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There's something in me.

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That's telling me a lie saying that I'm not safe because I

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used to be able to do these things.

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If I didn't feel safe, I could do these things and I can make myself safe again.

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Or I could get this thing for myself.

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I could buy this thing for myself.

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This is how I could choose to use my money.

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And now I conference on that.

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And so now I can't get the thing and whatever.

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So, well, actually I'll just mention, um, a couple of things, um, a couple of,

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there were a couple of things that I wanted to buy and he, and it just says,

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Ashley, I don't think it's, you know, I don't think that we want to, um,

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that that would be a good idea.

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There were a variety of reasons.

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It's like, I don't think it would be good for this.

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I don't think it would be good for this.

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Um, I don't think it would be a good way to spend our money.

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I don't think we have any room in our place for something like that.

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You know, so that we started that conversation.

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Six, seven months ago, something like that.

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And, um, and so I just submitted to that and know that was not easy.

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And I did bring it up just a couple of times, you know, just like, well, you

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know, I really like this and here's why, and this is very important to me and I

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don't ask for much and I'm asking for this.

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So I'm that kind of let you know, it's very important to me and whatever.

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And, um, and so I told the Lord, Hey Lord, I'm used to being able to see

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the value in something and then being able to choose to spend my money on it

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and then get it and then benefit from it in my life.

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And in the measure Lord, I was actually interacting with an aspect of your

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character, a goodness and provision in my life from my father to me of

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these sweet, wonderful gifts.

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And now Lord I'm being told no.

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And I don't mean like he just said no, but I mean like, you know, he was just

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saying, Hey, look, actually, I don't think we need to get.

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And I was like, Lord, I don't want to do this.

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And so it's just like, well, Lord, you know, what's important to me.

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And, um, and you, and you know, whether or not, I don't remember how I prayed,

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you know, I don't remember, I don't want to say something I didn't, I didn't pray,

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but basically it was just like, Lord, you know, um, whether or not it something

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like whether or not you approve of us having that thing, or those things

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where there were a couple of things, you know, whether or not you approve that.

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And, um, uh, but Lord, I'm going to submit to whatever, to what he says,

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and I'm going to support him in it.

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I'm not going to nag him.

219
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I'm not going to tell him how well I think we should.

220
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And I argue with him.

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And in fact, the other night he was asking me, Ashley, so here's my logic.

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Why, why do you, I'm not saying that that's what we need to do,

223
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but here's my logic.

224
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So what's your logic?

225
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And I just, and I just rolled over in bed and I said, I don't have any, I just want it.

226
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That's my argument.

227
00:21:00.560 --> 00:21:02.600
I don't have anything to say.

228
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I know your sounds very logical.

229
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I completely agree.

230
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And mine makes sense too, but I can't think of how to articulate it.

231
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And all I can tell you is I want it.

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So that's the end.

233
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So it's like, okay.

234
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I mean, a man just doesn't know what to do with, with that.

235
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Right.

236
00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:29.840
So a few days ago, we ended up having an opportunity to have an amazing deal on

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these couple of things that I wanted, both of them, the brand that I wanted and

238
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everything.

239
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And like, I had wanted to put these on our wedding registry and he, and you know,

240
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he, he nixed it.

241
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So all of these months later, we now have this amazing deal, but remember his,

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I, his whole point wasn't just the deal.

243
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It was the fact, Ashley, we were already trying to call the stuff that we have.

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We don't have the space for these things.

245
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So when this deal came up, just, I think it was, you know, what it may have been

246
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last night.

247
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It was last night.

248
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That's when it was.

249
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So this is all very, very recent.

250
00:22:04.120 --> 00:22:06.360
So maybe the Lord knew we were, you know, the Lord knew we were going to have this

251
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conversation.

252
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Maybe he thought it would help.

253
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But and happened last night, not asking him.

254
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I said, Hey, sweetie, you know, these normally run for X, Y, and Z.

255
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This is what they're being offered for.

256
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You know, what do you think?

257
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And he said, you can get them.

258
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It's like, are you serious?

259
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Like, like both.

260
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And he's like, yeah, it's like, are you serious?

261
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This discussion from like six, seven months ago.

262
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And remember he had all this logic and all of this reason, but, but what I believe

263
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really happened is that I had just supported him and what he said.

264
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So if he said no, I honored it and I didn't nag him about it, but I did on the

265
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other half of the marriage.

266
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I'm the other half of the union.

267
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I'm the other half of the oneness.

268
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So I present my opinion.

269
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I present my reason because I'm trying to build a home.

270
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I'm trying to, you know, offer my contribution of things from my perspective.

271
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Sometimes the other perspective doesn't see it the way that we do and whatever.

272
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And, and so I can voice that, but when he's given me a way in which he's choosing

273
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the form in which he's choosing to provide, to provide for me and to protect me, I

274
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receive his form of provision and protection.

275
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I'm like, okay, I didn't like it, but I chose him over the thing.

276
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I chose him over being right.

277
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I'm not saying I was right.

278
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I'm just saying that chose him over the idea of like being right or anything.

279
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And, um, uh, in any way, I believe that in the long run, he just felt that I

280
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really honored him in that.

281
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And then of course I prayed and I said, God, you know, um, uh, you know, if you

282
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want to give us these things, Lord, you can.

283
00:23:46.520 --> 00:23:52.600
I did not, I don't think that I asked God because I don't ask God to give me

284
00:23:52.600 --> 00:23:59.080
something that Ed's not giving me and not allowing, but what I do do is I ask

285
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the Lord, you know, to provide for, and to protect me, to see me, to see the

286
00:24:05.240 --> 00:24:06.960
things that are important to me.

287
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:09.840
And that he, he believes that that is something that he is.

288
00:24:09.840 --> 00:24:12.160
My father desires to bring into my life.

289
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And I asked that he do that.

290
00:24:13.720 --> 00:24:18.920
But what I don't ever do is even between me and is between me and the Lord, I

291
00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:26.840
don't, I don't make Ed my enemy with God, meaning like me and God, you know,

292
00:24:26.840 --> 00:24:29.920
we're close, we're tight Lord, but then I've got this problem that

293
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:31.320
you and I typically talk about.

294
00:24:31.640 --> 00:24:35.240
I mean, yeah, we, you know, I do bring stuff that I struggle with, but I don't

295
00:24:35.240 --> 00:24:38.240
make Ed the enemy in my conversation with God.

296
00:24:38.800 --> 00:24:42.640
I have to, I have to love and support him, you know, because he's the other

297
00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:44.360
half of my union that I'm bringing to the Lord.

298
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:47.480
But anyway, that's how I've been navigating it so far.

299
00:24:47.760 --> 00:24:51.440
And anyway, and that was just something that happened last night and it was

300
00:24:51.440 --> 00:24:54.960
really, it was real cute and it was real sweet and he was just excited to just,

301
00:24:55.360 --> 00:24:57.040
you know, see me happy and whatever.

302
00:24:57.040 --> 00:24:59.080
And that's after multiple discussions.

303
00:24:59.080 --> 00:24:59.960
And I, again.

304
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.380
I had chosen that even though it was a good deal, I didn't nag him about it.

305
00:25:04.380 --> 00:25:05.860
I didn't get upset.

306
00:25:05.860 --> 00:25:11.200
And I just didn't like weed, you know, Weedle and beg and, you know, or, or do

307
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:11.800
anything.

308
00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:16.880
I just told him it was important to me and I'd like it if we could, but, um, no,

309
00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:18.100
you know, then that's fine.

310
00:25:18.800 --> 00:25:21.920
So anyway, he just, he changed his mind and it was very effortless.

311
00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:24.960
And I was like, wow, all I had to do was just kind of wait.

312
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:29.720
And I had to support him and choose him over the outcome anyway.

313
00:25:29.800 --> 00:25:34.520
And then God ended up providing for me in that way.

314
00:25:34.560 --> 00:25:40.760
And then using that to, um, uh, to give Ed and I an opportunity to, I don't

315
00:25:40.760 --> 00:25:45.880
know, it's just to interact and to change and to grow and anyway, yeah.

316
00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:46.920
Or is any of this helpful?

317
00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:49.600
Very, very, very, very helpful.

318
00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:50.320
So thank you.

319
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:53.120
Yeah, you're welcome.

320
00:25:53.560 --> 00:25:55.560
I think I know why I'm single.

321
00:25:55.960 --> 00:26:00.720
You can do whatever you want when you want to.

322
00:26:01.800 --> 00:26:02.320
Yeah.

323
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:03.480
That sounds tough.

324
00:26:05.520 --> 00:26:12.400
I suppose if I met somebody, you know, the right person, it would be different, but

325
00:26:13.280 --> 00:26:17.400
that, yeah, that takes a lot of grace.

326
00:26:18.440 --> 00:26:19.280
Yeah, it does.

327
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:21.320
Yeah.

328
00:26:21.360 --> 00:26:23.200
Um, so wait, I don't know.

329
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:26.360
You're just kind of like, I don't want to say you're trading it, but in a certain

330
00:26:26.360 --> 00:26:30.440
way, uh, yeah, that's really not a very accurate word, but it's the best way I

331
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:34.680
can think of to describe it as you're trading it for like a different type of

332
00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:36.040
investment in your life.

333
00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:39.880
Um, these other things used to invest in your life in particular ways, and now

334
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:45.000
you're just being affected by influenced by loved and protected and just, I don't

335
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:46.280
know, just a different form.

336
00:26:46.840 --> 00:26:50.760
And, um, and there's all kinds of benefits to being loved and, and

337
00:26:50.760 --> 00:26:51.840
protected in that form.

338
00:26:51.840 --> 00:26:56.680
But then it comes with the, with any benefit comes unique challenges to those

339
00:26:56.680 --> 00:26:57.240
benefits.

340
00:26:57.840 --> 00:27:04.440
So I'm learning how to navigate sometimes it's graceful and sometimes it's really

341
00:27:04.440 --> 00:27:04.960
not.

342
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:10.360
So does anyone have anything else?

343
00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:17.920
It's raining outside.

344
00:27:22.840 --> 00:27:24.320
No one has anything.

345
00:27:27.600 --> 00:27:28.800
No, I'm curious.

346
00:27:28.800 --> 00:27:34.960
This is not a typical question, but I think that, um, maybe it'll still apply to

347
00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:40.120
other people, but so just regarding like the rest intensive and like the, the

348
00:27:40.120 --> 00:27:46.000
teachings and, you know, the shifting and the, and the, you know, changing along

349
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:51.120
the way and sort of the, the sequence of that or the ebb and flow, cause it's not

350
00:27:51.360 --> 00:28:02.040
really linear sometimes, but, um, I think like my puppy's kissing me, um, I, like,

351
00:28:02.040 --> 00:28:05.920
I think I felt like I got a little off track of what my, my like hope and

352
00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:08.400
expectation was for myself, which is a common thing.

353
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:13.720
Like I, I tend to have, you know, kind of perfectionistic high expectations,

354
00:28:13.720 --> 00:28:14.800
especially of myself.

355
00:28:14.840 --> 00:28:17.680
And when I have in my mind, this is what I want to do.

356
00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:20.760
And this is what I feel like the Lord's leading me to do and all of this.

357
00:28:21.560 --> 00:28:23.000
Life or circumstances happen.

358
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:24.800
You know, there's a little disappointment, but I understood

359
00:28:24.800 --> 00:28:26.040
that it was out of my control.

360
00:28:26.040 --> 00:28:27.400
I wasn't blaming myself.

361
00:28:27.400 --> 00:28:31.760
I was just like, man, I wanted to be in the Facebook group and

362
00:28:31.760 --> 00:28:33.560
totally engage with this community.

363
00:28:33.560 --> 00:28:38.120
I really, truly desired to do the journey shares and all these things and be like

364
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:43.400
all in, and I got off to a great start where finally in, in a way in life and

365
00:28:43.400 --> 00:28:47.520
with the rest intensive, I felt like I was there from the beginning and on track.

366
00:28:47.600 --> 00:28:51.600
And then with some things and all the fallout of what happened in November,

367
00:28:51.880 --> 00:28:56.960
October, November, like I'm behind and I let go of it, but now I feel like I

368
00:28:56.960 --> 00:29:00.880
don't quite know how to decide what's beneficial at the time.

369
00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:01.560
Does that make sense?

370
00:29:01.560 --> 00:29:03.080
Like there's so much awesome.

371
00:29:03.960 --> 00:29:05.280
Meet and teaching.

372
00:29:05.760 --> 00:29:08.400
And I think that's where my indecisiveness can kick in where I'm

373
00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:09.760
like, what do you want me to do, Lord?

374
00:29:09.760 --> 00:29:13.520
Like, do I listen to this teaching or do I pick up, go a little bit ahead

375
00:29:13.520 --> 00:29:14.920
to where everybody else is at?

376
00:29:15.320 --> 00:29:18.120
Um, or do I go backwards and try to go in order?

377
00:29:18.520 --> 00:29:21.640
Um, so it might sound silly, but I just, I guess I feel like, how do you discern

378
00:29:21.640 --> 00:29:27.480
with the Lord, like where you're at in your journey and what you need, like in

379
00:29:27.480 --> 00:29:33.440
terms of understanding or, um, community or, you know, whatever the shift is

380
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:35.360
specific to the rest intensive, I guess.

381
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:36.360
Um, yeah.

382
00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:38.600
How do you kind of know that or determine that?

383
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:41.480
Uh, choose you and the Lord.

384
00:29:42.360 --> 00:29:45.280
And then that the rest intensive is simply a structure.

385
00:29:45.280 --> 00:29:46.360
And this goes for everybody.

386
00:29:46.680 --> 00:29:51.240
The rest intensive is simply a structure that gives people the opportunity to, I

387
00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:55.400
don't, I don't, I don't know, to, to kind of like flow through like a, like a

388
00:29:55.400 --> 00:30:00.040
direction in which to head, but so just, so just choosing you and the Lord.

389
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.040
The fact that, in fact, that you just wake up, um, focused on who exactly he

390
00:30:06.040 --> 00:30:09.720
is, and I don't mean you have to like, think very specifically of all of this

391
00:30:09.720 --> 00:30:16.080
stuff is, um, uh, but just like generally, you know, who does he say that he is to

392
00:30:16.080 --> 00:30:19.880
the degree he says he is that, and then who does he say that you are and then

393
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:25.280
choose, choose some things at a very basic level, and I'm going somewhere

394
00:30:25.280 --> 00:30:29.240
with this, choose those things at a very basic level, like, okay, he's good.

395
00:30:29.560 --> 00:30:32.200
He, um, I'm, I am the new man.

396
00:30:32.840 --> 00:30:39.000
Um, he, he loves me unconditionally and me and my new man as the new creature.

397
00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:40.400
I always believe my father.

398
00:30:40.400 --> 00:30:41.640
I always love my father.

399
00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:46.920
I always feel an experience being loved on by my father.

400
00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:49.280
That is my state.

401
00:30:49.840 --> 00:30:51.280
That is my state of being.

402
00:30:51.520 --> 00:30:54.440
That is, it's who I am.

403
00:30:54.800 --> 00:30:57.560
It is the experience that I have.

404
00:30:58.440 --> 00:31:02.120
And then that will create clarity for one thing.

405
00:31:02.120 --> 00:31:04.160
It'll, it'll, it'll shift you into rest.

406
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:07.680
And the fact that you'll stop worrying about all of these things that we have

407
00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:13.840
taken to start to try to like do or improve in, in order to think, because

408
00:31:13.840 --> 00:31:18.160
we think we have to become something, or we think that God, uh, uh, God, we're

409
00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:22.560
trying to get God to be more pleased with us, even shifting into rest, you

410
00:31:22.560 --> 00:31:25.480
know, oh, that's, I finally found the thing that'll make God pleased with us.

411
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:26.200
No, no, no.

412
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:28.680
That means that you need to go all the way back to session one.

413
00:31:29.560 --> 00:31:32.040
You know, you know, he loves this unconditionally, you

414
00:31:32.040 --> 00:31:32.800
know, that kind of thing.

415
00:31:32.800 --> 00:31:36.880
So if you just choose some things at a very basic level, then.

416
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:43.120
In that space between you and the Lord in that existence where he is good.

417
00:31:43.280 --> 00:31:45.760
And so were you, he is perfect.

418
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:47.720
And in him, you were perfect.

419
00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:49.240
You've been made perfect.

420
00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:54.440
Then there, then all of the shackles, all the responsibility, meaning like

421
00:31:54.440 --> 00:31:57.680
the burden of responsibility, I didn't mean responsibility that

422
00:31:57.680 --> 00:31:58.720
like is all the good stuff.

423
00:31:59.120 --> 00:32:01.640
I mean, the responsibility, it's like the, the burden and the

424
00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:04.200
weight and the oppressiveness, all of that's gone.

425
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:09.360
So in that space where you and the Lord are great, you and the Lord are wonderful.

426
00:32:09.600 --> 00:32:12.960
You and the Lord, you know, you wake up every morning and God's

427
00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:13.960
just like, Oh, goody.

428
00:32:13.960 --> 00:32:15.400
She's up, you know?

429
00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:15.680
Okay.

430
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:16.800
So what are we going to do?

431
00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:19.440
I've just, she and I've been doing all kinds of things in her spirit, but

432
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:21.120
our consciousness doesn't know that.

433
00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:23.920
So, but Hey, this is her consciousness now.

434
00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:25.400
So that's what I get to interact with.

435
00:32:25.600 --> 00:32:26.520
What are we going to do?

436
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:31.120
If you view life kind of like with all of the restraints broken off,

437
00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:33.000
everything becomes clear.

438
00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:36.640
And then you will know, okay, what do you need to be focusing on?

439
00:32:37.040 --> 00:32:38.360
Where are you in the Lord right now?

440
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:39.160
You know?

441
00:32:39.160 --> 00:32:41.480
And so which teaching do you need to go to whatever?

442
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:49.720
Um, when we stop trying to figure it out and we choose who he is and who we are

443
00:32:49.720 --> 00:32:54.280
instead, all of a sudden, what it is that, how it is that we should live from that

444
00:32:54.280 --> 00:33:00.640
place becomes clear as opposed to us not realizing and recognizing and acknowledging

445
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:01.560
that we're in that place.

446
00:33:01.840 --> 00:33:06.200
And then we're trying to figure stuff out on our own in our flesh.

447
00:33:06.680 --> 00:33:10.560
But if you do it from the place of who it is that you are in spirit, who it is that

448
00:33:10.560 --> 00:33:13.280
you are as a new man, you and the Lord are always in union.

449
00:33:13.280 --> 00:33:15.040
You and the Lord are always connected.

450
00:33:15.320 --> 00:33:16.320
There's always flow.

451
00:33:16.320 --> 00:33:17.280
There's always connection.

452
00:33:17.280 --> 00:33:18.680
Now there's always relationship.

453
00:33:18.680 --> 00:33:24.080
There's always, um, uh, your will and your opinions being expressed and his will and

454
00:33:24.080 --> 00:33:27.960
his opinions are being expressed in your will and his will and his heart and your

455
00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:32.040
heart are co-mingling and you're developing relationship.

456
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:32.960
So.

457
00:33:33.280 --> 00:33:36.960
With, so that being the case, in other words, all of the restraints and

458
00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:41.800
limitations and boundaries broken off, you're just in this glorious, you know,

459
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:46.600
a state of being, I don't mean that you always feel this way, but if you choose

460
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.120
that, that is where it is that you actually exist.

461
00:33:49.840 --> 00:33:53.400
Now live from that place, make decisions from that place, you and the Lord

462
00:33:53.400 --> 00:33:56.880
together, you know, what is it that you want to do?

463
00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:58.600
Where are you moving right now?

464
00:33:58.600 --> 00:33:59.720
What do you feel from him?

465
00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:03.600
Where do you feel his heart as opposed to, okay, what is it that I need to do?

466
00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:05.760
You won't make those.

467
00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:07.560
You won't think like that.

468
00:34:07.600 --> 00:34:09.360
Your mind won't work like that.

469
00:34:09.600 --> 00:34:12.920
When you're in that place, it just naturally works very differently.

470
00:34:12.920 --> 00:34:18.760
It works from a state of you being, as opposed to you being disassociated

471
00:34:18.760 --> 00:34:23.880
from your state of being, then you feel you need to do, then it shifts into the

472
00:34:23.880 --> 00:34:29.560
doing because you're disconnected and disassociated from your being, meaning

473
00:34:29.560 --> 00:34:32.800
like just existing and just enjoying.

474
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:37.000
That the, the, the goodness, the limitlessness, the boundary listeners

475
00:34:37.480 --> 00:34:44.280
of God and, and his goodness and you and who he's created you to be anyway.

476
00:34:44.679 --> 00:34:49.000
So I know that that probably feels very vague and very ethereal, but that is

477
00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:51.600
the, that is the foundation of the answer.

478
00:34:52.040 --> 00:34:58.280
Then, um, as far as like specifically, um, uh, the, I mean, you know, if you're

479
00:34:58.280 --> 00:34:59.840
just, you know, which I know.

480
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.880
This is not your question, so I'm gonna,

481
00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:03.880
but you can sense wherever it is

482
00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:06.080
that the Lord wants you to go in that.

483
00:35:06.080 --> 00:35:09.560
What I would, well, nevermind, nevermind.

484
00:35:09.560 --> 00:35:11.440
I don't even wanna tell you what I would recommend.

485
00:35:11.440 --> 00:35:15.080
I would just suggest that you just do that

486
00:35:15.080 --> 00:35:15.900
between you and the Lord.

487
00:35:15.900 --> 00:35:20.900
You're gonna feel more confident in it,

488
00:35:21.080 --> 00:35:25.240
more free in it if you don't even hear an opinion

489
00:35:26.200 --> 00:35:27.480
of what I think would help.

490
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:30.400
So anyway, is that helpful?

491
00:35:31.380 --> 00:35:32.920
Okay.

492
00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:34.120
That's super helpful.

493
00:35:34.120 --> 00:35:37.160
Yeah, so remember, wake up every morning

494
00:35:37.160 --> 00:35:38.960
like what we talked a few weeks ago.

495
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:41.260
I think you were, it was on a fireside chat

496
00:35:41.260 --> 00:35:45.000
or a rest group or something that don't,

497
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:47.320
you're no longer required when you wake up

498
00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:49.240
to pick up that backpack full of rocks.

499
00:35:50.120 --> 00:35:53.040
You just wake up and how do you wanna live offensively?

500
00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:55.800
Meaning like taking charge of your own life,

501
00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:57.600
choosing yourself, what do you wanna do?

502
00:35:57.600 --> 00:35:59.040
What do you wanna create from it?

503
00:35:59.040 --> 00:36:03.360
You get to be the creator, you're not the victim.

504
00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:05.600
You're not the victim of what life is throwing at you.

505
00:36:05.600 --> 00:36:09.000
Yes, you do need to, there will be ways

506
00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:13.840
in which you need to, ways in the opportunities

507
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:17.620
you're given of responding to certain things

508
00:36:17.620 --> 00:36:19.800
that come around and that come along,

509
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:21.480
the stuff with the lawsuit that you're dealing with

510
00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:23.720
and stuff with your ex-husband

511
00:36:24.440 --> 00:36:26.760
just stuff that comes up, stuff that,

512
00:36:26.760 --> 00:36:29.520
but it doesn't leave you in a bit,

513
00:36:29.520 --> 00:36:32.760
even in that situation, just because you're responding

514
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:35.920
doesn't mean that you are a victim

515
00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:40.920
and that this situation in which you have an opportunity

516
00:36:41.760 --> 00:36:44.260
to respond doesn't mean that you're being forced

517
00:36:44.260 --> 00:36:45.440
into a situation.

518
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:47.920
That's where we get this victim mentality.

519
00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:50.320
We think, oh my goodness, I'm now forced

520
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:52.680
to face something I don't wanna face.

521
00:36:52.720 --> 00:36:56.000
Instead view it like, okay, this is a situation,

522
00:36:56.000 --> 00:36:59.080
how do I want to move forward in my life?

523
00:36:59.080 --> 00:37:02.480
Positively, meaning like not positive as in like negative,

524
00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:05.180
but positive as in like moving forward,

525
00:37:05.180 --> 00:37:09.720
like forward progression, like as opposed to retraction

526
00:37:09.720 --> 00:37:14.480
or lack or fear or stagnation.

527
00:37:14.480 --> 00:37:18.080
Just like, where do I wanna, how do I wanna live?

528
00:37:18.080 --> 00:37:21.080
What do I want out of life?

529
00:37:22.080 --> 00:37:24.920
Well, I want joy and I want peace.

530
00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:29.120
And okay, so he's brought up a new little, a new snag.

531
00:37:29.120 --> 00:37:30.280
Okay, well, what do I wanna do?

532
00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:33.200
Well, I wanna work this out with my lawyer

533
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:38.200
as opposed to, oh my word, now I have to look what he did

534
00:37:38.200 --> 00:37:40.040
and now this is the situation that I'm in

535
00:37:40.040 --> 00:37:41.520
and now I have to call my lawyer.

536
00:37:41.520 --> 00:37:43.860
Now I have to do this and now I have to do that.

537
00:37:43.860 --> 00:37:45.520
If we do it from that perspective,

538
00:37:45.520 --> 00:37:46.940
then we believe that we're a victim

539
00:37:46.940 --> 00:37:49.620
and then everything feels hard.

540
00:37:49.660 --> 00:37:52.300
All of the tasks that are up there just feel,

541
00:37:52.300 --> 00:37:54.440
they feel a lot heavier than they really are

542
00:37:54.440 --> 00:37:56.940
because we're approaching them from the perspective of,

543
00:37:56.940 --> 00:38:01.100
I didn't want to do this and so-and-so was making me.

544
00:38:01.100 --> 00:38:02.620
You know, the fact that so-and-so did this,

545
00:38:02.620 --> 00:38:05.060
now they're making me do it, you know?

546
00:38:05.060 --> 00:38:06.080
And that's just not the case.

547
00:38:06.080 --> 00:38:08.620
You are in control of your life, they aren't.

548
00:38:08.620 --> 00:38:11.560
And their actions don't control you, you know, whatever.

549
00:38:11.560 --> 00:38:14.540
You get to choose, okay, this is the situation that I'm in.

550
00:38:14.540 --> 00:38:17.020
You're not being forced to make any decision.

551
00:38:17.020 --> 00:38:19.500
So since you're not being forced to make any decision,

552
00:38:20.340 --> 00:38:21.180
but you're in this situation,

553
00:38:21.180 --> 00:38:22.620
what decision do you want to make?

554
00:38:22.620 --> 00:38:25.400
How do you want to move your life forward?

555
00:38:25.400 --> 00:38:26.540
Do you want to move it forward

556
00:38:26.540 --> 00:38:29.680
with this decision in the situation or with this one?

557
00:38:29.680 --> 00:38:31.820
As opposed to, I have to make a decision

558
00:38:31.820 --> 00:38:32.940
and I don't want to do either,

559
00:38:32.940 --> 00:38:35.440
but I guess it's the lesser of two evils.

560
00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.200
That's not taking charge of you

561
00:38:37.200 --> 00:38:39.220
and you making a decision offensively,

562
00:38:39.220 --> 00:38:41.860
what do I want to do?

563
00:38:41.860 --> 00:38:43.460
I want to call my lawyer

564
00:38:43.460 --> 00:38:44.820
as opposed to I have to call my lawyer.

565
00:38:44.820 --> 00:38:46.220
No, no, no, this is what I want.

566
00:38:46.220 --> 00:38:48.980
This is the situation, this is the best scenario.

567
00:38:49.600 --> 00:38:50.700
Does that make sense?

568
00:38:51.900 --> 00:38:53.060
Yeah.

569
00:38:53.060 --> 00:38:53.900
Yeah, and that's good.

570
00:38:53.900 --> 00:38:57.100
Like it hits on some of what the Lord was revealing,

571
00:38:57.100 --> 00:38:59.200
you know, just even in the past week about

572
00:39:01.020 --> 00:39:03.280
when you've been in a situation where,

573
00:39:04.340 --> 00:39:05.180
I don't know, we could call it trauma

574
00:39:05.180 --> 00:39:07.820
or we could call it abuse or whatever it is.

575
00:39:07.820 --> 00:39:10.740
It is so easy to get into that mindset

576
00:39:10.740 --> 00:39:12.820
and then kind of like stay stuck there,

577
00:39:12.820 --> 00:39:15.420
especially when like, if it's like a recurring thing

578
00:39:16.140 --> 00:39:19.500
where you're like, oh my gosh, here we go again.

579
00:39:19.500 --> 00:39:21.340
You know, like, oh, I thought we were past this.

580
00:39:21.340 --> 00:39:23.460
Oh, this is going to re like trigger all this.

581
00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:26.260
Why, you know, now we have to spend thousands of dollars.

582
00:39:26.260 --> 00:39:27.300
We don't have now, you know,

583
00:39:27.300 --> 00:39:29.020
like all these kinds of things

584
00:39:30.020 --> 00:39:32.380
that you could say are true in a way,

585
00:39:32.380 --> 00:39:36.140
but the perspective does keep you in that victim place

586
00:39:36.140 --> 00:39:39.780
and makes you powerless or feel powerless when you're not.

587
00:39:39.780 --> 00:39:42.580
So that's really been one of the things

588
00:39:42.580 --> 00:39:44.540
that he's been revealing to me has been

589
00:39:44.540 --> 00:39:46.700
that recently that there's a victim mentality

590
00:39:46.700 --> 00:39:48.300
that he wants me to break out of

591
00:39:48.300 --> 00:39:50.860
because I'm not a victim anymore, you know?

592
00:39:50.860 --> 00:39:52.260
So yeah, yeah.

593
00:39:52.260 --> 00:39:53.540
Good timing on that.

594
00:39:53.540 --> 00:39:57.260
Really helpful for you to just explain like that stance,

595
00:39:57.260 --> 00:39:59.260
you know, the difference of how we come at it.

596
00:39:59.260 --> 00:40:00.460
And I've been using the.

597
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.400
terms like I get to, and trying to remember, you know, continually

598
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:06.640
kind of remember that instead of like, I have to do this, and I

599
00:40:06.640 --> 00:40:09.800
have to do that. And I have to, like, I get to do this, or I'm

600
00:40:09.800 --> 00:40:12.880
going to do, you know, just that simple, like changing that

601
00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:15.780
phrase is like a stepping stone toward being victorious and

602
00:40:15.780 --> 00:40:19.420
being like owning my decisions, owning my life and being

603
00:40:19.420 --> 00:40:23.160
powerful, and getting my power back, which is the best thing

604
00:40:23.160 --> 00:40:27.520
you can do, I think, as a victim, you know, or someone

605
00:40:27.520 --> 00:40:34.360
who's a survivor or whatever. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um, am I

606
00:40:34.360 --> 00:40:40.560
frozen? Yes. All of y'all are frozen to shoot. I wish there

607
00:40:40.560 --> 00:40:44.880
was a way because I can't even move my mouse. I was going to

608
00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:49.920
see if Oh, maybe I can now. I was gonna see No, I can't. If

609
00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:55.640
maybe it's my display. Oh, no. I'm afraid. I'm so concerned

610
00:40:55.640 --> 00:41:01.960
that if I get out of this, can y'all still hear me? No. Wow.

611
00:41:02.560 --> 00:41:03.400
Yes, we can.

612
00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:11.840
Okay, good. I don't know what is going on with my display. But it

613
00:41:11.840 --> 00:41:16.160
won't even let me move my mouse. So I can't make somebody else

614
00:41:16.160 --> 00:41:21.800
the host. Shoot. Let's see here. Let me try a few things. Okay,

615
00:41:21.800 --> 00:41:26.760
if, if I lose y'all, and it accidentally ends the meeting,

616
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:32.280
y'all stay on if you can, but if it ends the meeting, then just

617
00:41:32.520 --> 00:41:35.440
get back into it. Okay. So because like,

618
00:41:40.280 --> 00:41:41.640
now we lost audio.

619
00:41:43.080 --> 00:41:43.800
Hey, Chris.

620
00:41:52.800 --> 00:42:02.600
So interesting. It must be the rainstorm or something. Maybe

621
00:42:02.600 --> 00:42:05.720
she can join with her phone. Yeah.

622
00:42:10.560 --> 00:42:15.480
Casey, how are you feeling? I was on mute. I did say hi to you

623
00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:16.920
Rita, but I was on mute.

624
00:42:16.920 --> 00:42:25.400
Oh, so was I. I'm doing pretty good. I'm feeling much better

625
00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:30.000
getting regaining my energy. That's good. Oh, yeah.

626
00:42:36.840 --> 00:42:38.120
How are you feeling, Christine?

627
00:42:39.400 --> 00:42:44.960
I'm feeling pretty good. I finished my radiation therapy. I

628
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:52.080
mean, I had a talk to give to an Indian Bible college. So I got

629
00:42:52.080 --> 00:42:56.440
up at four o'clock this morning. Because the the Christmas

630
00:42:56.440 --> 00:43:02.960
program started at 515 am. But so I'm really tired today. But

631
00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:05.920
other than that, I'm yeah, doing pretty well.

632
00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:11.640
That's good. Yeah, well, yeah.

633
00:43:12.200 --> 00:43:17.320
Yeah, yeah, I think so. You know, after giving a talk, I

634
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:20.120
always think, oh, I should have said this, you know, I go back

635
00:43:20.120 --> 00:43:24.960
over it. Ashley's talked about that going back over, you know,

636
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:30.600
things that we we have. Yeah, I did that. I mean, I think it

637
00:43:30.840 --> 00:43:35.800
went well, because two people repeated back what I had said.

638
00:43:36.800 --> 00:43:42.360
So it was, and, and it's interesting, I use things that I

639
00:43:42.360 --> 00:43:48.440
had learned here. And a question Lindsay had asked. I mean, that

640
00:43:48.440 --> 00:43:54.280
like the talk was on about God with us. And we always talk

641
00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:58.320
about, you know, how that affects me, Jesus being with me.

642
00:43:58.840 --> 00:44:02.640
And so I asked, asked myself, and then the question, what does

643
00:44:03.040 --> 00:44:07.480
Christmas, what does God with us mean to God? Like, how does he

644
00:44:07.480 --> 00:44:13.800
feel about being with us? And so that's what I, I talked about.

645
00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:18.720
And, I mean, it's kind of a question I want to keep thinking

646
00:44:18.720 --> 00:44:24.520
about. And, you know, just the fact that he delights in us. And

647
00:44:24.560 --> 00:44:28.800
just before we started now, I, you know, because I was still

648
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:35.120
feeling Oh, I wonder if that was good. And, but I, the verse, I

649
00:44:35.120 --> 00:44:38.240
don't even know what day it is. But you know, I was talking

650
00:44:38.240 --> 00:44:43.440
about God delighting in us. And I opened Caleb, and it says, you

651
00:44:43.440 --> 00:44:48.400
know, it's Psalm, what is it 3723, the Lord directs the steps

652
00:44:48.440 --> 00:44:54.040
of the godly, he delights in every detail of their lives. And

653
00:44:54.040 --> 00:44:59.800
it just kind of kind of a bit of a confirmation. You know,

654
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.480
you were talking about the right thing, you know, that his delight and how.

655
00:45:06.680 --> 00:45:09.200
But I did it.

656
00:45:09.400 --> 00:45:14.040
You know, the last time I spoke with them,

657
00:45:14.240 --> 00:45:17.760
I had everything written out, and I don't usually do that.

658
00:45:17.760 --> 00:45:19.640
I had a coach and she had a certain way

659
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:24.880
for me to do it, and I had it all written out this time.

660
00:45:25.760 --> 00:45:29.000
I had Bible verses and things,

661
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:32.280
but I didn't have it all laid out.

662
00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:35.360
And so I don't know.

663
00:45:35.560 --> 00:45:40.760
I mean, from three people, I got good feedback, but

664
00:45:42.720 --> 00:45:47.200
the pastor who asked me to do it and.

665
00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:50.360
But.

666
00:45:50.680 --> 00:45:56.720
You know, I think I like to do it more freely, you know, like talking to them

667
00:45:56.880 --> 00:46:01.640
and then feel more the freedom of the Holy Spirit to, you know,

668
00:46:01.840 --> 00:46:04.120
but I think it could have been a bit.

669
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:07.440
You know, I had it organized, but.

670
00:46:07.640 --> 00:46:12.160
I just spoke more to them, I guess, you know.

671
00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:14.520
Sorry to take this off track, Ashley.

672
00:46:14.720 --> 00:46:17.920
No, no, I'm so glad you all continue.

673
00:46:18.120 --> 00:46:21.040
Well, I had to restart my computer.

674
00:46:21.240 --> 00:46:21.960
So that's great.

675
00:46:22.160 --> 00:46:25.080
So you're talking about the first teaching you did.

676
00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:28.800
Yeah, I I spoke at their Christmas program.

677
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:31.920
It is coin coin.

678
00:46:32.120 --> 00:46:33.800
I can't say that word when any.

679
00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:35.320
Yeah.

680
00:46:38.240 --> 00:46:40.800
Pay to training,

681
00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:47.320
a leadership training institute, and it's based in India, but there's people like

682
00:46:47.520 --> 00:46:55.040
in a Sam and Dubai and England, you know, and, you know, it's pastor.

683
00:46:55.240 --> 00:46:59.680
There's missionaries, students, the faculty.

684
00:46:59.880 --> 00:47:01.760
You know, it was great.

685
00:47:01.960 --> 00:47:05.520
I mean, I just can't believe the opportunity that God has given me.

686
00:47:05.720 --> 00:47:07.080
That's all.

687
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:11.360
And I just I I mean, they had

688
00:47:11.560 --> 00:47:14.880
singing and dancing and

689
00:47:15.080 --> 00:47:17.640
a couple of skits that were recorded.

690
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:21.280
And they're just a wonderful group of people.

691
00:47:21.480 --> 00:47:23.000
You know, the.

692
00:47:23.160 --> 00:47:26.200
The pastor I've gotten to know and yeah,

693
00:47:26.400 --> 00:47:30.440
it's just amazing how God links you up with people.

694
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:32.280
Yeah, yeah.

695
00:47:32.480 --> 00:47:36.520
Well, I'm excited for you that you had that opportunity and you thought

696
00:47:36.720 --> 00:47:40.240
I don't remember four weeks total or six weeks total,

697
00:47:40.440 --> 00:47:42.600
something like that to be able to talk to him.

698
00:47:42.800 --> 00:47:43.960
So that's good.

699
00:47:44.160 --> 00:47:47.480
You'll be able to build manner of speaking almost like a like a relationship with

700
00:47:47.680 --> 00:47:50.960
them, you know, a rapport with them, like, oh, it's Chris.

701
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:52.760
And she talked about this last time.

702
00:47:52.960 --> 00:47:55.400
And so, you know, they'll be able to like track with you.

703
00:47:55.600 --> 00:47:57.200
And so that's great.

704
00:47:57.400 --> 00:48:00.720
Now, the next I mean, the when I do the four weeks,

705
00:48:00.920 --> 00:48:03.440
that is with a different Bible school.

706
00:48:03.640 --> 00:48:07.720
Oh, OK, the Bible school in Sri Lanka.

707
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:09.600
But it's connected with these people.

708
00:48:09.800 --> 00:48:13.360
But I won't see all those same people, which.

709
00:48:13.560 --> 00:48:18.760
Yeah. And it'll be translation also because they

710
00:48:18.880 --> 00:48:20.520
I can't remember the name of their language.

711
00:48:20.720 --> 00:48:22.520
Single laser. I can't remember.

712
00:48:22.720 --> 00:48:25.120
But so I'll have a translator.

713
00:48:25.320 --> 00:48:27.600
OK, great interpreter.

714
00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:29.440
I mean, whatever you call it.

715
00:48:29.640 --> 00:48:31.160
Yeah. Yeah.

716
00:48:31.360 --> 00:48:32.560
No, no worries. Yeah.

717
00:48:32.760 --> 00:48:33.680
Well, that's great.

718
00:48:33.880 --> 00:48:35.840
Well, and

719
00:48:36.040 --> 00:48:38.560
yeah, it's hard to do it with the translator, isn't it?

720
00:48:38.760 --> 00:48:41.160
You know, it's like only half the time.

721
00:48:41.360 --> 00:48:42.640
Yeah.

722
00:48:42.840 --> 00:48:44.960
Yeah. It's like I know you don't really think about that.

723
00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:46.200
You're like, oh, I have an hour and a half.

724
00:48:46.200 --> 00:48:48.040
And you're like, no, I've got 45 minutes.

725
00:48:48.240 --> 00:48:49.680
Yeah, exactly.

726
00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:51.240
Yeah. So it's a little challenging.

727
00:48:51.440 --> 00:48:54.800
And then for me, it's challenging because the way that I teach,

728
00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:57.880
I teach very similarly to what you were talking about, where it's just like this

729
00:48:58.080 --> 00:49:02.560
free flow, free flow style.

730
00:49:02.760 --> 00:49:06.960
And that means, though, that I have to keep track of what I just said,

731
00:49:07.160 --> 00:49:09.120
what I'm saying and what I'm about to say.

732
00:49:09.320 --> 00:49:15.560
And you can't do a translation because in between every every sentence,

733
00:49:15.560 --> 00:49:19.880
if you're lucky or sometimes every phrase, you've got a translator.

734
00:49:20.080 --> 00:49:22.920
In fact, my translator wanted me to

735
00:49:23.120 --> 00:49:26.240
wanted me to speak in phrases.

736
00:49:26.440 --> 00:49:28.480
And I was like, I can't do

737
00:49:28.680 --> 00:49:33.760
this to do is going to be hard enough to do with it, with the Senate.

738
00:49:33.960 --> 00:49:35.320
So we got a flow.

739
00:49:35.520 --> 00:49:40.320
I just tried to keep everything very short and sustained so she could like

740
00:49:40.520 --> 00:49:45.120
translate without having to she could translate a thought without having

741
00:49:45.160 --> 00:49:50.400
to like and, you know, without it being too long where she forgot what it is that I

742
00:49:50.600 --> 00:49:55.160
said so and so anyway, we but because I thought, well, doing it the way that she

743
00:49:55.360 --> 00:50:00.080
asked, I'm like others, I just can't do that because and even as it was.

744
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.680
as I struggled kind of, if I wasn't careful,

745
00:50:02.680 --> 00:50:04.680
forgetting my thought, you know,

746
00:50:04.680 --> 00:50:05.800
while she was translating.

747
00:50:05.800 --> 00:50:07.760
I'm trying to keep it in my head, you know,

748
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:09.040
and then sometimes, you know,

749
00:50:09.040 --> 00:50:10.760
I'd lose the flow a little bit.

750
00:50:10.760 --> 00:50:12.200
So anyway, I have to stop and think,

751
00:50:12.200 --> 00:50:13.160
okay, what did I just say?

752
00:50:13.160 --> 00:50:14.000
Where am I?

753
00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:14.820
What am I talking about?

754
00:50:14.820 --> 00:50:17.080
But anyway, but I'm very excited for you.

755
00:50:17.080 --> 00:50:20.280
Yeah, I'm thinking I need to meet with the person

756
00:50:20.280 --> 00:50:21.680
that's going to be translating

757
00:50:21.680 --> 00:50:26.680
just to see what style, you know, how she wants to do it.

758
00:50:26.680 --> 00:50:29.080
And if I can free talk some.

759
00:50:30.120 --> 00:50:30.960
You know?

760
00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:32.240
Oh yeah, yeah.

761
00:50:32.240 --> 00:50:34.880
Yeah, which would be very kind and very thoughtful of you.

762
00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:38.420
That's what, my translator contacted me

763
00:50:38.420 --> 00:50:39.760
because I'd never met them before.

764
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:42.520
And they said, hey, I don't even go to this church,

765
00:50:42.520 --> 00:50:45.080
but I'm a friend of somebody who goes to the church.

766
00:50:45.080 --> 00:50:48.480
And they knew that I am, I don't remember if she's Canadian.

767
00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:49.800
No, she was American.

768
00:50:49.800 --> 00:50:52.960
And she said, and so I was in Italy.

769
00:50:52.960 --> 00:50:57.440
And so she said that I've been asked to translate for you.

770
00:50:57.440 --> 00:51:01.040
She said, so I have, I've watched one of your videos

771
00:51:01.040 --> 00:51:04.200
about what it is you're going to be talking about.

772
00:51:04.200 --> 00:51:07.160
And this is, but I'm not used to translating.

773
00:51:07.160 --> 00:51:08.760
She's like, I'm married to an Italian.

774
00:51:08.760 --> 00:51:10.240
I've been here 30 years,

775
00:51:10.240 --> 00:51:13.480
but you know, translating is a different animal.

776
00:51:13.480 --> 00:51:15.440
So she's like, I just, you know,

777
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:17.880
so here's what'll help me and we'll help you.

778
00:51:17.880 --> 00:51:19.760
And anyway, so we've got a little thing down,

779
00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:20.920
but I'm very excited.

780
00:51:20.920 --> 00:51:24.000
You'll have to keep us updated on how it goes.

781
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:25.160
Yeah, yeah.

782
00:51:25.200 --> 00:51:26.520
I'm excited.

783
00:51:26.520 --> 00:51:30.000
Well, did someone else have a question before,

784
00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:35.000
as our last, probably our last question before we end?

785
00:51:35.640 --> 00:51:37.480
Anyone have anything else?

786
00:51:42.520 --> 00:51:44.520
No, no.

787
00:51:49.520 --> 00:51:50.880
Right.

788
00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:52.360
Okay, I'll go.

789
00:51:52.360 --> 00:51:54.280
If Kate's not going to go, hey.

790
00:51:56.160 --> 00:52:00.520
Okay, everyone just relies on Kate to ask the good questions.

791
00:52:00.520 --> 00:52:03.120
I think that's why everyone comes to the Fireside Chat.

792
00:52:03.120 --> 00:52:05.720
What is, good thing is Kate going to ask

793
00:52:05.720 --> 00:52:08.360
that will be what I need this next week.

794
00:52:08.360 --> 00:52:10.560
You know, I've been sitting on a question,

795
00:52:10.560 --> 00:52:12.560
but I'm like, I didn't know if it pertained to everyone.

796
00:52:12.560 --> 00:52:14.840
So I was like, I'm just going to let everyone keep going.

797
00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:16.880
I'm just like, yeah.

798
00:52:16.880 --> 00:52:18.320
I want to hear what you have, Rita.

799
00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:20.800
Let's, let's, let's find out.

800
00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:23.280
I feel like it's the same thing.

801
00:52:24.280 --> 00:52:26.280
So you can answer quickly, Ashley.

802
00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:31.400
So I've been having trouble sleeping

803
00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:34.400
and I try to tell the Lord like, okay,

804
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:36.040
I don't need to depend on sleep.

805
00:52:36.040 --> 00:52:38.960
I'm spirit, I don't need it.

806
00:52:38.960 --> 00:52:41.200
But I almost feel desperate for it,

807
00:52:41.200 --> 00:52:44.520
especially after like the second or third day.

808
00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:49.320
And then, you know, I try not to let it affect my day.

809
00:52:49.320 --> 00:52:52.920
And, you know, work is stressful right now.

810
00:52:53.360 --> 00:52:55.840
But I'm not as stressed.

811
00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:58.800
I know that's definitely a, you know, a blessing,

812
00:52:59.800 --> 00:53:02.520
but yeah, the sleep escapes me.

813
00:53:02.520 --> 00:53:03.640
I try to breathe.

814
00:53:03.640 --> 00:53:07.000
I try to not judge anything.

815
00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:08.000
So I don't know.

816
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:08.880
Yeah.

817
00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:10.720
Well, sometimes it's because emotionally

818
00:53:10.720 --> 00:53:12.360
we're in fight or flight mode.

819
00:53:12.360 --> 00:53:17.360
Even if physically you can't, you wouldn't think that,

820
00:53:17.440 --> 00:53:19.360
oh, I'm, I'm, I don't know.

821
00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:20.840
I don't know.

822
00:53:20.840 --> 00:53:21.840
My heart is beating fast.

823
00:53:21.840 --> 00:53:23.400
Am I, you know, I'm breathing fast.

824
00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:26.400
Even if you can't sense that emotionally,

825
00:53:26.400 --> 00:53:27.520
you can be in fight or flight.

826
00:53:27.520 --> 00:53:29.120
You think something's required of you.

827
00:53:29.120 --> 00:53:30.400
You have to be ready.

828
00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:33.160
You're going to have to like some for kind of similar

829
00:53:33.160 --> 00:53:37.320
to that, well, I don't know, a bunch of things.

830
00:53:37.320 --> 00:53:39.440
For one thing, you know, you've been going,

831
00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:42.240
so much is required of you and you feel the weight

832
00:53:42.240 --> 00:53:46.760
of always having to be ready for the unexpected

833
00:53:46.760 --> 00:53:49.960
all day long so that you don't feel

834
00:53:49.960 --> 00:53:53.640
that you are safe enough, like emotionally, psychologically,

835
00:53:53.640 --> 00:53:54.960
you know, with everything that's going on, you know,

836
00:53:54.960 --> 00:53:59.120
if you, if, if you, to, to disconnect

837
00:53:59.120 --> 00:54:02.080
because something might be required of you,

838
00:54:02.080 --> 00:54:02.920
you need to be ready.

839
00:54:02.920 --> 00:54:04.200
It's a, it's a, it's a habit.

840
00:54:04.200 --> 00:54:07.120
It's a habit in a way of like a habit of like,

841
00:54:08.080 --> 00:54:10.160
of your like psychosis.

842
00:54:10.160 --> 00:54:14.800
And, and then, so there, there's that.

843
00:54:14.800 --> 00:54:17.160
And there was something else I was going to say.

844
00:54:17.160 --> 00:54:22.120
Oh, similar to when we're about to travel,

845
00:54:22.120 --> 00:54:24.000
you know, the next morning, say for instance,

846
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:27.640
or we have a very important presentation the next morning,

847
00:54:27.640 --> 00:54:32.640
especially if we have to get up at an unusually early hour

848
00:54:33.120 --> 00:54:35.920
for us, we, people have a tendency

849
00:54:35.920 --> 00:54:37.120
to have a hard time sleeping.

850
00:54:37.120 --> 00:54:37.960
Why?

851
00:54:37.960 --> 00:54:39.680
Because they're thinking, yeah, but I've got to get up.

852
00:54:39.680 --> 00:54:41.560
And oh my goodness, what if I don't get, you know,

853
00:54:41.560 --> 00:54:43.960
or hear my alarm and all this anxiety.

854
00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:46.360
My point is all of those things are foundation,

855
00:54:46.440 --> 00:54:48.000
are founded in the fact that we think

856
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:50.320
that something's expected of us.

857
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:52.640
And we're, and we're at the ready, all my words,

858
00:54:52.640 --> 00:54:53.640
something's expected.

859
00:54:53.640 --> 00:54:58.640
And, and so what I would recommend is, is on your,

860
00:54:59.240 --> 00:55:00.480
well, a couple of things.

861
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:11.000
For one to develop a nightly routine of likes and favorite things that you like to do or doing or incorporating some favorite things into the night routine.

862
00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:14.000
So say for instance, you've got to, you've got to do the stuff that we all do before bed.

863
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:16.000
Like, I don't know if you take a shower before bed.

864
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:21.000
I do, you know, some people take it in the morning. Technically, actually I take it both times.

865
00:55:21.000 --> 00:55:26.000
I take a warm shower at night. When I get up, I take a cold shower.

866
00:55:26.000 --> 00:55:28.000
That's beside the point. I'm very unusual.

867
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:38.000
So, but generally, you know, whatever it is that you do, you go to, you go to, you take a shower, you get, you get cozy, you brush your teeth, you, I don't know, get a drink of water.

868
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:41.000
You take your vitamins, you do, I don't know, whatever it is you do.

869
00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:46.000
There's certain things that you have to do. And sometimes you just, people just don't think that they're fun.

870
00:55:46.000 --> 00:56:00.000
So what I do is I make those things fun by turning on really slow music that I like, like my favorite type of slow music, whether it be slow jazz or it be slow worship or it be slow, I don't know, soaking music.

871
00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:15.000
And then, and then sometimes before I have to like start doing, and so my point is that if I had that on, then while I'm doing the other things, I'm hearing it and it's slowing me down and it's helping me to enjoy at the moment of what it is that I'm doing.

872
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:25.000
As opposed to trying to, to trying to, to double the, what's that word? It's not accomplishment.

873
00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:34.000
Double the, what you get out of a specific moment, like, okay, I'm brushing my teeth. This is very boring. What else can I do? I can problem solve.

874
00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:38.000
Don't try to problem solve while you're brushing your teeth. Don't try to problem solve while you're in the shower.

875
00:56:38.000 --> 00:56:47.000
Don't try to problem solve while you're going through the nightly retreat. Don't try to get double out of whatever it is you're doing. Enjoy the moment for what it is.

876
00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:56.000
Like learn to just kind of like not require anything else out of the moment other than what you're doing. You're brushing your teeth, but you're being entertained.

877
00:56:56.000 --> 00:57:02.000
So you don't have to be bored, you know, being entertained because you've got this nice music on and so it's filling the house and slowing everything down.

878
00:57:02.000 --> 00:57:16.000
And so, and don't, and use the music as kind of like a beat. I don't mean physically, I don't mean like literally you have to walk to the same cadence, but just generally to create a, to create a tone to slow you down.

879
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:21.000
You know, if the soaking music is slow, you're going to typically brush your teeth slower.

880
00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:28.000
You're going to typically take a longer shower, that kind of thing, because you're trying to flow a bit, you're trying to match the atmosphere a bit.

881
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:40.000
And so things like that will help. But then even before you do all of that, or maybe after if you kind of want to get that out of the way, then afterwards do fun things that you really enjoy.

882
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:53.000
Not anything stimulating, but fun things. In other words, get your body and your mind and your emotions. Look, always looking forward to going to bed because that's when you get to do your favorite things.

883
00:57:53.000 --> 00:58:06.000
You get to read a book for an hour, if you want, or, you know, five minutes, you know, I don't know how long or long you want to do it, but read a book or, and not a nonfiction book where you have to think, not a Christian book where you're trying to like,

884
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:13.000
you know, you know, learn something else about the Lord. Just a nonfiction, I mean, sorry, a fiction book.

885
00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:21.000
Just or, and I'm just giving you ideas. I'm just telling you like kind of ideas of like kind of how to think so you can make your own decision about the type of things you like to do.

886
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:35.000
You can watch television, if it doesn't stimulate you and some people it just stimulates. I know some people that actually they have to watch television or YouTube or whatever, in order to start slowing them down.

887
00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:43.000
Um, but some bit scientists say actually that stimulates you and that's not good to go to do before you go to bed, you're not likely to sleep as well.

888
00:58:43.000 --> 00:58:51.000
So to each their own point is just do, I don't do something fun. Sometimes you can eat some of your favorite stuff before you go to bed.

889
00:58:51.000 --> 00:59:00.000
Not too much because then you won't sleep well. But if you do have yourself a little bit and you do a little treat, you know, or you do a little, you do a little nightly tea routine.

890
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:14.000
If you just love tea, you, um, I don't know, just, just things like that. Don't use it to try to accomplish something and get one squeeze one more accomplishment into the day of like, oh, I'm trying to read, get through this book I'm trying to learn.

891
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:27.000
So that you, you create your bedtime routine as one of your, you literally create it as, as what you would want your favorite time of day to look like.

892
00:59:27.000 --> 00:59:34.000
And you give yourself that. And I don't know if it's 30 minutes and if that's long enough or if you need an hour.

893
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:50.000
But the part of the reason for all of that is it focuses the value again on you, not the end that you being you is enough as opposed as, as opposed to where I think that your, your body and emotions in mind currently are, which is, what does everybody

894
00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:59.000
else need? What does my boss need? What does my job need? What does my project need? What does God need? What's being expected? What do I need to be ready for?

895
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.680
on you, so your body feels safe enough to start relaxing your mind, feel safe

896
01:00:03.680 --> 01:00:05.340
enough to start to let go.

897
01:00:05.900 --> 01:00:11.960
That's the whole point of making it pleasant is to create a safe atmosphere

898
01:00:11.960 --> 01:00:17.640
for your, for, um, for your body to not feel like, and your mind to feel like

899
01:00:17.640 --> 01:00:22.920
something's expected of it and something's needed and whatever is, especially at

900
01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:26.360
night, choose you, what do you want?

901
01:00:26.640 --> 01:00:28.000
What feels good?

902
01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:31.000
You know, that kind of thing.

903
01:00:31.720 --> 01:00:34.600
So, yeah, I used to do a lot more of that.

904
01:00:34.600 --> 01:00:36.560
I still do it to an extent.

905
01:00:36.560 --> 01:00:42.960
In fact, there's, it's so, it's kind of so ingrained in me that if I, that I got

906
01:00:42.960 --> 01:00:48.880
to the point where I didn't let myself go to bed unless I had done something.

907
01:00:48.880 --> 01:00:51.860
I really, really liked, like, I mean, I like, I really liked it.

908
01:00:51.960 --> 01:00:53.200
I kind of like, Oh yeah, sure.

909
01:00:53.240 --> 01:00:53.560
No, no, no.

910
01:00:53.560 --> 01:00:54.360
I like really liked it.

911
01:00:54.360 --> 01:00:57.480
Like, Ooh, read that book or watch that, watch that one more

912
01:00:57.480 --> 01:00:59.360
episode or I don't know, whatever.

913
01:00:59.880 --> 01:01:05.600
And, um, so I find myself if I'm going to bed and I haven't done something

914
01:01:05.600 --> 01:01:11.960
immediately before bed that I really like, and I forced myself to go to bed.

915
01:01:11.960 --> 01:01:13.760
I don't go to bed as easily.

916
01:01:13.760 --> 01:01:19.400
I don't sleep as you know, um, I don't, I don't know how to describe that, but,

917
01:01:19.400 --> 01:01:26.040
um, it's, uh, I don't, sorry that the words of words are escaping me.

918
01:01:26.480 --> 01:01:28.680
Um, but, uh, I noticed it.

919
01:01:28.960 --> 01:01:31.240
I noticed that I'm dreading going to bed.

920
01:01:31.240 --> 01:01:34.320
I'm resisting going to bed because there's almost like an aspect of

921
01:01:34.320 --> 01:01:35.680
myself that I haven't honored.

922
01:01:35.680 --> 01:01:40.160
I haven't enjoyed me and you need to be enjoying you when you go to bed.

923
01:01:40.920 --> 01:01:42.080
You nothing else.

924
01:01:42.160 --> 01:01:45.600
I mean, obviously God, but you and God together where he

925
01:01:45.600 --> 01:01:46.880
didn't require anything of you.

926
01:01:47.240 --> 01:01:47.800
You're enough.

927
01:01:48.160 --> 01:01:49.200
You're resting with him.

928
01:01:49.320 --> 01:01:51.640
You're not trying to have a new revelation of how to shift into rest.

929
01:01:51.880 --> 01:01:55.880
You just, you just be, you just, you just, you have faith and you shift

930
01:01:55.880 --> 01:01:57.600
into rest by simply choosing that.

931
01:01:58.360 --> 01:02:02.080
This moment with God is enough and he doesn't need anything.

932
01:02:02.120 --> 01:02:04.680
He likes you as you are that kind of a thing.

933
01:02:04.680 --> 01:02:09.280
And that'll start, I think, um, helping to, uh, slow you down to, um, slow

934
01:02:09.280 --> 01:02:12.800
your body and your mind down and your emotions to let you sleep a bit better.

935
01:02:13.360 --> 01:02:14.960
Does that all make sense?

936
01:02:15.960 --> 01:02:16.760
Yeah, definitely.

937
01:02:16.760 --> 01:02:22.440
Cause I don't feel like I do anything for myself right now.

938
01:02:22.440 --> 01:02:27.920
So yeah, just kind of collapse at home and then I feel tired and I

939
01:02:27.920 --> 01:02:29.840
fall asleep before I get in bed.

940
01:02:29.840 --> 01:02:32.280
But as soon as I get to bed, I'm just like wired.

941
01:02:32.320 --> 01:02:32.880
I don't know.

942
01:02:33.240 --> 01:02:38.520
It's weird, but I think if I did something that I enjoyed me, really.

943
01:02:38.560 --> 01:02:40.280
Yeah, no, it makes sense to.

944
01:02:40.400 --> 01:02:46.960
And the last thing you also said is don't expect any, find a new way to shift.

945
01:02:47.640 --> 01:02:48.560
Don't do that either.

946
01:02:48.600 --> 01:02:50.320
So, yeah, yeah.

947
01:02:50.320 --> 01:02:55.040
Shift into rest by choosing to believe something about God, which is something

948
01:02:55.040 --> 01:03:00.520
easy, um, like enjoying yourself, choosing that you're just enough as opposed to,

949
01:03:00.520 --> 01:03:02.280
oh, okay, I need to stretch into belief.

950
01:03:02.360 --> 01:03:06.960
You know, these good that you sort of know that you're fine, that you and he are fine.

951
01:03:06.960 --> 01:03:09.400
You know, if anything else needs to be dealt with between you and the Lord,

952
01:03:09.840 --> 01:03:13.680
there's tomorrow, but right now you're enough with the Lord.

953
01:03:14.400 --> 01:03:16.680
So thank you.

954
01:03:16.680 --> 01:03:17.400
I appreciate that.

955
01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:18.600
Yeah, you're welcome.

956
01:03:18.640 --> 01:03:25.240
Um, another very interesting observation and I'd never articulated this to myself.

957
01:03:25.440 --> 01:03:29.800
I noticed it, but I'd never quite articulated even to me what I was noticing.

958
01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:34.400
So you are one of the most important people in my life.

959
01:03:35.400 --> 01:03:40.680
So you are wired for that and you're not giving yourself that.

960
01:03:40.680 --> 01:03:43.360
And I know that because that's why you do cozy things.

961
01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:48.440
The odd, the things that all of the rest of us are noticing, you know, you've got

962
01:03:48.440 --> 01:03:51.480
the rope and you have your team, you've got the blanket and you're always in,

963
01:03:51.480 --> 01:03:55.560
you're always creating that environment for yourself physically, but you

964
01:03:55.560 --> 01:03:57.680
won't let yourself go into it.

965
01:03:57.920 --> 01:04:01.640
So you keep, so just FYI, you're wired for it.

966
01:04:02.160 --> 01:04:03.320
You're leaning towards it.

967
01:04:03.320 --> 01:04:05.680
You're wanting it and God wants you to have that.

968
01:04:05.680 --> 01:04:09.480
So just FYI, go let yourself have it.

969
01:04:10.240 --> 01:04:11.120
Does that make sense?

970
01:04:11.880 --> 01:04:12.320
Yes.

971
01:04:12.400 --> 01:04:12.760
Yes.

972
01:04:13.560 --> 01:04:14.600
You're wired for it.

973
01:04:14.600 --> 01:04:15.640
You're already doing it.

974
01:04:15.640 --> 01:04:20.840
You're trying to give it to yourself without allowing yourself to, um, to

975
01:04:20.840 --> 01:04:25.720
risk, um, what has to be risked in order to give it to yourself.

976
01:04:25.720 --> 01:04:31.040
So if you give yourself all of these physical cozy things, but you don't allow

977
01:04:31.080 --> 01:04:33.480
yourself emotionally to let go.

978
01:04:34.040 --> 01:04:39.160
So you're keeping yourself in a highly vigilant state just so you'll be ready,

979
01:04:39.640 --> 01:04:44.200
but you really do want that time for yourself and that time to enjoy yourself

980
01:04:44.200 --> 01:04:46.520
and that time to, you know, slow down.

981
01:04:46.920 --> 01:04:53.600
So anyway, and I know, and I know that because I know someone else very

982
01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:56.000
close to me, not my husband, but somebody else in my family.

983
01:04:56.000 --> 01:04:57.160
He's very much like that.

984
01:04:57.920 --> 01:04:58.680
Very much like that.

985
01:04:58.680 --> 01:05:00.000
And, um,

986
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.920
It's taken them a long time to learn, to enjoy themselves.

987
01:05:04.280 --> 01:05:07.960
And the more that they've learned to enjoy themselves, the less they have to do all

988
01:05:07.960 --> 01:05:13.120
of the external cozy things that take, that ended up taking up so much of their time

989
01:05:13.120 --> 01:05:18.920
and never, and never rejuvenated or arrested them because they're getting all of the things

990
01:05:18.920 --> 01:05:21.760
that they're needing, that they were trying to use as physical things to create.

991
01:05:21.760 --> 01:05:22.880
They're getting them elsewhere.

992
01:05:23.720 --> 01:05:27.520
So anyway, but yeah, it's, I just was familiar with it.

993
01:05:28.200 --> 01:05:30.160
So anyway, hopefully that's helpful.

994
01:05:30.880 --> 01:05:31.040
Yeah.

995
01:05:31.080 --> 01:05:31.400
Yes.

996
01:05:31.440 --> 01:05:31.920
Thank you.

997
01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:32.200
Yeah.

998
01:05:33.360 --> 01:05:39.880
So if anyone needs to go, you are welcome to, but me personally, I am extremely

999
01:05:39.880 --> 01:05:44.160
curious as to what Kate's question was.

1000
01:05:49.640 --> 01:05:51.440
It's actually not really a question.

1001
01:05:51.440 --> 01:05:51.880
I don't know.

1002
01:05:51.880 --> 01:05:54.600
I don't know what the, I couldn't formulate an actual question.

1003
01:05:54.600 --> 01:06:04.720
I, I have been battling crazy anxiety for days and, um, just been like, what is at

1004
01:06:04.720 --> 01:06:06.520
the root of all of this?

1005
01:06:06.560 --> 01:06:07.600
Like fear.

1006
01:06:07.640 --> 01:06:10.520
And I just keep seeing fear of man.

1007
01:06:10.560 --> 01:06:16.120
Like I've, the Lord has healed me from so many, there's like levels of fear of man.

1008
01:06:16.720 --> 01:06:18.640
It's like, not just like a one and done thing.

1009
01:06:19.680 --> 01:06:21.760
And, um, oh, did we lose you?

1010
01:06:22.680 --> 01:06:23.400
Oh, no, you're back.

1011
01:06:23.440 --> 01:06:23.680
Okay.

1012
01:06:24.440 --> 01:06:24.880
Am I back?

1013
01:06:24.920 --> 01:06:25.280
Oh, dear.

1014
01:06:27.480 --> 01:06:32.720
And so I'm like, I know sometimes when certain situations come up in your life,

1015
01:06:33.600 --> 01:06:38.160
it exposes different levels of fear that you may still be hidden.

1016
01:06:38.160 --> 01:06:39.000
And you're like, oh, I'm good.

1017
01:06:39.000 --> 01:06:39.840
I was just moving along.

1018
01:06:39.840 --> 01:06:41.120
Like, like I was really good.

1019
01:06:41.120 --> 01:06:45.360
And then all of a sudden the situation came up and it exposed all the, all this

1020
01:06:45.360 --> 01:06:49.640
fear and like fear about how the situation is going to play out fear about what people

1021
01:06:49.640 --> 01:06:55.720
think fear about, and then I had like literally debilitating anxiety that I was

1022
01:06:55.720 --> 01:06:57.520
like, I think I'm going to throw up.

1023
01:06:57.520 --> 01:06:58.360
I'm so anxious.

1024
01:06:58.360 --> 01:07:01.240
And I don't even, I like couldn't get it under control.

1025
01:07:01.280 --> 01:07:02.920
I know it was so wild.

1026
01:07:02.960 --> 01:07:03.880
It's been wild.

1027
01:07:03.880 --> 01:07:06.960
And I don't, and it's not anything bad that's happened.

1028
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:08.520
It's not like a bad situation.

1029
01:07:08.520 --> 01:07:13.960
It was an exciting situation, but it's so much anxiety that it's like, oh my gosh,

1030
01:07:13.960 --> 01:07:15.720
what do I, what do I do with this?

1031
01:07:15.720 --> 01:07:18.560
And where do I even start to go after this?

1032
01:07:19.080 --> 01:07:22.680
Like Rita, so like I wasn't sleeping, I didn't sleep for days.

1033
01:07:23.200 --> 01:07:27.000
And so I was like doing all the, like the tea, taking a shower before bed, like

1034
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:32.360
trying all this external, everything I could think of to, to work it out and like,

1035
01:07:32.520 --> 01:07:37.480
like work and I'm exhausted, but I'm exhausted in my mind, not in anywhere else.

1036
01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:43.800
So that's a lot of vomit for seven, for as late as it is when you're trying to close

1037
01:07:43.800 --> 01:07:48.080
off the call and there's really no, you know, just make it stop.

1038
01:07:50.600 --> 01:07:52.440
No, that's funny.

1039
01:07:52.880 --> 01:07:53.920
Just make it stop.

1040
01:07:53.920 --> 01:07:55.600
Somebody, somebody be bright.

1041
01:07:55.680 --> 01:07:56.320
That's hilarious.

1042
01:07:56.640 --> 01:07:58.360
No, no, no, no.

1043
01:07:58.360 --> 01:07:59.200
I completely understand.

1044
01:07:59.200 --> 01:08:03.720
I thought that you actually articulated that very well and very concisely, especially

1045
01:08:03.720 --> 01:08:07.960
considering how long you've been struggling with it, that it was a very short amount

1046
01:08:07.960 --> 01:08:09.480
of time to, to get all of that in.

1047
01:08:09.920 --> 01:08:12.600
Um, uh, okay.

1048
01:08:12.600 --> 01:08:16.080
So I, I thought of some different things, um, similar to what I was talking about,

1049
01:08:16.120 --> 01:08:22.240
um, you know, with Rita is, uh, that I, you know, just recommend that you choose

1050
01:08:22.240 --> 01:08:24.120
you as in like, enjoy you.

1051
01:08:24.359 --> 01:08:30.680
And also the, the, um, uh, you remember, so kind of think of the anxiety similar.

1052
01:08:31.160 --> 01:08:31.399
Okay.

1053
01:08:31.399 --> 01:08:37.040
A couple of things with the anxiety, um, that remember that the second tool that I

1054
01:08:37.040 --> 01:08:40.520
mentioned is, you know, to just tell your soul and your body to just stop.

1055
01:08:41.120 --> 01:08:45.600
And just that you, in other words, that's especially good for situations in which

1056
01:08:45.600 --> 01:08:49.160
you don't know why you're anxious and you don't know why you're stressed and you

1057
01:08:49.160 --> 01:08:50.720
do, you don't have to have an anchor.

1058
01:08:50.720 --> 01:08:51.439
You don't have a pinpoint.

1059
01:08:51.960 --> 01:08:56.760
And so you just want to, you just tell it, you know, you shift into you, to who it

1060
01:08:56.760 --> 01:09:00.880
is that you are as the new man, and then just telling your soul and your body from

1061
01:09:00.880 --> 01:09:08.600
that good kind King who's protective, who provides for it, who is, you know, who

1062
01:09:08.600 --> 01:09:10.800
is in the one who's all sustaining and.

1063
01:09:11.479 --> 01:09:12.520
And all supporting.

1064
01:09:12.720 --> 01:09:17.200
And so you are being in that one, you are now providing that for

1065
01:09:17.200 --> 01:09:18.479
that, your soul and your body.

1066
01:09:18.800 --> 01:09:24.880
And so you just tell it, you know, from that position that, Hey, you know, I, I

1067
01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:30.840
know that you're in a hypervigilant state because you were trying to protect me.

1068
01:09:31.319 --> 01:09:37.000
And I appreciate that, you know, so if you're kind towards your, but your soul

1069
01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:43.439
and your body, while it's anxious, in other words, loving it and accepting it

1070
01:09:43.439 --> 01:09:49.760
for what it is, while it is that thing without emotionally requiring it to

1071
01:09:49.760 --> 01:09:56.520
change without requiring you to it, to stop being anxious without, you know,

1072
01:09:56.520 --> 01:09:59.840
just like what I talk about, like with losing weight, without requiring it to

1073
01:09:59.840 --> 01:10:00.040
leave.

1074
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.480
um, to stop being, um, anxious, uh, or anything and to, that you just love and

1075
01:10:06.480 --> 01:10:08.120
accept it exactly the way it is.

1076
01:10:08.120 --> 01:10:11.440
And you want to keep it meaning like not keep the anxiety, but keep the

1077
01:10:11.440 --> 01:10:13.040
soul and keep that body and you love it.

1078
01:10:13.040 --> 01:10:15.780
And you think it's valuable and you treasure it and you, and you think

1079
01:10:15.780 --> 01:10:17.340
it's significant and all of that.

1080
01:10:18.140 --> 01:10:24.160
Um, then, uh, then it will, then from that position, you can tell it, um, you

1081
01:10:24.160 --> 01:10:25.800
know, Hey, look, whatever it is.

1082
01:10:26.460 --> 01:10:29.180
I'm now, whatever it is that's triggering you.

1083
01:10:29.240 --> 01:10:32.780
I'm now here to protect you and you no longer have to exert all

1084
01:10:32.780 --> 01:10:33.900
of your energy doing this.

1085
01:10:33.900 --> 01:10:34.700
You can let it go.

1086
01:10:35.580 --> 01:10:38.040
And so whatever it is you're doing, whatever it is, that's keeping you

1087
01:10:38.040 --> 01:10:43.140
anxious, whatever it is that's making you stressed, stop and just let it go.

1088
01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:48.180
You know, you tell, you tell your soul and your body that, and then even if it

1089
01:10:48.180 --> 01:10:50.240
doesn't, you love it and accept it.

1090
01:10:50.240 --> 01:10:55.840
Anyway, instead of fighting yourself and thinking, I shouldn't be like this.

1091
01:10:55.840 --> 01:10:56.760
I should be different.

1092
01:10:57.760 --> 01:11:00.540
Remember, which is the second tool, which is the no judgment or sorry.

1093
01:11:00.540 --> 01:11:03.000
The third tool, which is the no judgment, the one right after stop.

1094
01:11:03.040 --> 01:11:04.400
It's like, it shouldn't be like this.

1095
01:11:04.400 --> 01:11:05.180
It should be different.

1096
01:11:05.740 --> 01:11:06.000
Nope.

1097
01:11:06.360 --> 01:11:09.300
Just allow it to be what it is.

1098
01:11:09.600 --> 01:11:14.800
And then, um, and because we actually are creating the resistance to

1099
01:11:14.800 --> 01:11:17.020
letting the thing go by fighting it.

1100
01:11:18.060 --> 01:11:19.940
We're actually creating more resistance.

1101
01:11:20.160 --> 01:11:25.440
So just allow it to be, allow it to exist, but don't honor it.

1102
01:11:25.700 --> 01:11:27.500
Don't, I mean, you can honor your soul and your body, but you

1103
01:11:27.500 --> 01:11:30.900
don't honor the anxiety, you know, just like, Oh, just whatever.

1104
01:11:31.300 --> 01:11:33.500
You know, just allow your soul and your body.

1105
01:11:33.500 --> 01:11:34.660
That's the state it wants to be in.

1106
01:11:34.720 --> 01:11:35.060
Okay.

1107
01:11:35.780 --> 01:11:38.980
But you know what, while you're doing that, I'm going to go do, I'm going to go be me.

1108
01:11:39.400 --> 01:11:40.380
I can go do something else.

1109
01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:44.700
As weird as it sounds, you just kind of let it be all right.

1110
01:11:44.700 --> 01:11:47.920
And you don't ever want to disassociate from yourself, disassociate from your

1111
01:11:47.920 --> 01:11:50.960
soul or your body, because you're like, I really don't like the environment,

1112
01:11:50.960 --> 01:11:53.980
the ugly negative environment that it's creating for the three of us.

1113
01:11:54.940 --> 01:11:56.280
We don't want to disassociate.

1114
01:11:56.580 --> 01:12:00.520
So, but we choose that we are spirit as opposed to solar body.

1115
01:12:00.520 --> 01:12:02.960
That's victim and that's scared.

1116
01:12:02.960 --> 01:12:05.240
And that's whatever, and choose that you're different instead.

1117
01:12:05.640 --> 01:12:10.360
Anyway, those are some ideas of how to interact with it without actually

1118
01:12:10.360 --> 01:12:11.800
knowing what is, is triggering you.

1119
01:12:12.040 --> 01:12:13.360
Like I said, you could do the stop.

1120
01:12:13.400 --> 01:12:17.140
You can do the no judgment, but those are things to do like in moments.

1121
01:12:17.540 --> 01:12:23.040
But as far as like the ongoing thing, choose to love and receive and accept

1122
01:12:23.040 --> 01:12:28.820
yourself as you are, meaning those parts of you as you are without emotionally

1123
01:12:28.820 --> 01:12:33.900
requiring you to change or ever get out of this, and that will make it feel

1124
01:12:33.900 --> 01:12:39.940
safe enough to finally let go because it's thinking that it's threatened.

1125
01:12:40.200 --> 01:12:45.780
So if you act and choose that you're not threatened, it'll eventually realize,

1126
01:12:46.220 --> 01:12:48.180
Oh, I guess we really aren't threatened.

1127
01:12:48.660 --> 01:12:49.580
And then it'll stop.

1128
01:12:50.080 --> 01:12:54.120
So anyway, okay, we're good.

1129
01:12:55.720 --> 01:12:56.480
All right.

1130
01:12:56.520 --> 01:13:05.120
Well, I will, um, let everyone go and, um, I will see everyone on Sunday.

1131
01:13:05.200 --> 01:13:09.560
And so, um, don't forget y'all's, uh, journey shares to update the rest of us

1132
01:13:09.600 --> 01:13:14.000
on like any struggles or any, um, any victories, you know, that you've been

1133
01:13:14.000 --> 01:13:16.800
having, you know, between you and the Lord, you know, um, I don't know.

1134
01:13:16.800 --> 01:13:17.880
It could be like, Oh my goodness.

1135
01:13:17.880 --> 01:13:21.180
Things are just lighter these days, or I saw him manifest in this

1136
01:13:21.180 --> 01:13:22.380
particular way or whatever.

1137
01:13:22.380 --> 01:13:26.940
So love to get to hear from everyone and I will talk to y'all later.

1138
01:13:27.980 --> 01:13:28.500
Bye.

1139
01:13:29.620 --> 01:13:30.180
Bye.