WEBVTT

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Okay.

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Hello.

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Hi.

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How's it going tonight?

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I'm going.

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Meeting from in here. Yeah.

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All right.

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Yeah.

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A little bit of a.

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A little bit of a rough time, but.

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Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

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Yeah.

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Tonight is.

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Are we the only ones on so far?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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I'm good.

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I am. Hey, Diana.

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Oh, and you're standing.

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Let's see.

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Where is it? Here we go.

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Yeah. So.

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Ed and I just got in.

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I guess we just got into town a couple of hours ago and they saw a

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stop by Walmart to get some stuff.

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And so we were like, okay,

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we're going to get some stuff and we're going to get some food.

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And we're going to get prep for our apartment that we're moving out

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of.

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You know,

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I don't know in a couple of days.

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So, so anyway, we.

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We got home and was able to, you know, make the.

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Frozen pizza.

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Yep.

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And real quick.

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So we made sure that we've made it here in plenty of time to be able

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to move out of our apartment.

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And we're in back in South Carolina.

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Oh, okay.

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Yeah, because we, we, we packed our, our place,

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but we now have to like pack it into a moving van.

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And then move it to.

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So it's a little confusing to everybody.

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I know everybody keeps thinking we've already moved. I'm like, well,

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You know, we, we took a.

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Two and a half week hiatus in Florida to spend time with family and

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friends.

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And then we moved out of our apartment.

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And I was like, well,

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I guess I'll just have to move out of my apartment and move in with

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family. So.

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Because he had family that was coming through Florida to kind of do

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a little get together. So fitting me.

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All right.

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Okay.

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I hope everybody's good.

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I am going to.

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Oh,

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Let's see.

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Everyone on mute.

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There we go. Just so that it,

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it's easier to hear.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So does anyone have anything?

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How is everybody doing?

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Good.

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I had an event yesterday.

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I had, and I, I.

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It was a major.

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Thing.

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I went to my brother's cause it was his birthday.

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And I went to drop off a cake.

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And I was walking down this.

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Steep stairs.

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Must be like, maybe.

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This is a long staircase.

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Steep stairs.

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And there's not very much lighting.

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So my niece was walking in front of me. I was walking behind her.

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And I guess I must've missed a step.

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Okay.

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So I grabbed hold of the wall.

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And I fall forward.

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From the top to the bottom.

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So I grab the wall and I grab a frame.

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And it's a glass frame.

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So it.

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Falls.

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Cracks everywhere.

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Me and her bubble tumbling all the way to the bottom.

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Okay.

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It was very.

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And then.

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So I get up, right.

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And I get up and up laughing.

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And I'm like, oh my God.

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It's just not normal for me.

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You know, and my, my, my sister-in-law's.

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And she was like, oh my God, she's so traumatized.

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Cause she was at the top of the stairs and my brother.

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Are you okay?

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And I just couldn't stop laughing.

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Okay.

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So I get up.

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And my jeans are.

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Has a tear about this big.

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And in it.

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Is a piece of glass this big.

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It was a huge piece of glass.

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Real.

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It was like a pointed edge.

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So I take it out of my jeans.

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No.

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Cuts.

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No.

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It was miraculous. I took it out and I was like, oh my God.

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I mean, I take this.

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Okay, so I get up and this traumatic thing and I get up and this morning, all I have

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is my leg is like sore.

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Yeah.

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But I mean, that's how we were all amazed stuff amazing.

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And what was weird that I was not traumatized or something like that.

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Yeah, that would have happened to me.

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That was like a fear that I had way back when that I would fall down down the stairs.

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And I have stairs where I live, I have two flights of stairs, I go every day, every day.

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So it's not like I'm not used to, you know, but it was just and I was gonna keep the jeans

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because I said, nobody was gonna believe this.

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And I wanted to almost keep the piece of glass.

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Yeah.

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Nobody and I was telling my mom and she goes, and I was like, no scratches.

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And I was covered in glass.

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Yeah.

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Even when I was laying there, I was covered in glass.

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Just wonderful.

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I mean, protection.

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It's just amazing.

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I mean, wow, God is good.

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I think about it.

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It's just like, Lord, you know, what could have happened?

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Yeah, yeah, that's wonderful.

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And that before you even knew it, you were laughing.

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You were just, you know, I just gave you, you know, security and peace, even though

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you didn't know what to have security and peace in, you know, wonderful.

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Can I say something to that?

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Yeah.

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That's so cool, Diana.

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But I have to tell you, I listened to a ministry this morning.

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And I listened to once in a while, while I'm getting ready on Sunday, and it's glory

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of Zion in Texas.

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And a lady said a similar thing.

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She fell down some ladder, and she started laughing.

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And she fell hard and should have been hurt.

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And she wasn't hurt at all.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Oh, my gosh.

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It was just like, you know, wow.

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That is so great.

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So good.

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Yeah.

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That's so cool.

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Thanks for sharing.

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That's exciting.

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Thank you.

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It's neat.

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You know, it's, it's needed.

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It reminds us, you know, okay, you know, God can take care of anything, any moment.

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It's all good.

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It's all okay.

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You know, he really is.

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He says that he is.

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So that's wonderful.

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Very cool.

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Oh, what else has been going on?

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There you go.

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I like that.

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Limitless living.

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Love that.

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I love that phrasing.

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So have y'all been able to watch any of the, any of the, the two teachings that I uploaded

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recently, or maybe like the rest group from Tuesday, or I don't know, maybe a fireside

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chat that y'all missed.

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It's all that, all that good, all that self-explanatory, no questions about anything or anything that

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y'all have been running into about, I don't know, any challenges about the shifting of

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duress or how's it going with them with, you know, delighting in yourself.

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Are you able to grab a hold of what that actually about actually practically walking that out

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and, you know, I don't know.

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I don't know.

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Yeah, I'll just jump in.

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And I've been having a little bit of trouble just kind of delighting in myself, I guess.

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And, and, and then, you know, I was off the platform for a few days.

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I don't know exactly.

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Did you reset it or something?

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You said you were working on it the other day or something, because now I have to, every

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time I go in now, I have to also log in.

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And I didn't have, it used to be, I just, it kept me signed in on my phone.

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So I don't, I don't know what happened.

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But anyway, I'm on there now.

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Thank you.

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Thank you for having me.

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Yes.

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Sorry if there was trouble.

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Yeah.

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I don't know what happened.

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But anyway, so I haven't got to watch anything, but, but yeah, if you have any tips for me,

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I'm just been having been a little bit down.

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And I'm not sure why exactly.

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So, and I've got to sleep a little earlier that victory I had, but I've been waking up

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again a lot during the night for the last few nights.

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Yeah.

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So, so if you have any tips for me, I'll just listen.

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Right.

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Well, one of the things just going back, starting at the last thing and then going and going

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backward.

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And hey, Rita, by the way.

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Hey.

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um is that if you wake up it you know don't get frustrated or get onto yourself or get or feel

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I don't know um I know that it sounds like a really weird word to use and that we wouldn't

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naturally think of this that we are in this when we wake up but even like some aspect of shame

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or you know in other words frustration with oneself just you know why on earth am I doing

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this you know or why on earth is my body doing this I'm giving it everything that it needs in

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order to be able to not just fall asleep but to stay asleep etc and so it's important to not

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consider yourself as an enemy and to just kind of just be okay with the fact that you are that you

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that you woke up you will be able to go back to sleep faster because you won't be in a state of

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frustration and it's and then it gives us it gives you an opportunity to obey the lord in faith

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by again just just doing some similar stuff to what you did when you were trying to go to sleep

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is then okay I am perfectly loved everything's okay like there's nothing that you need to

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accomplish there's no problem that you need to be solving right then it's just kind of you just

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delight in kind of like delighting in the present delighting in who it is that you are

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and the fact that you're loved and the fact that you are unconditionally accepted and it will have

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to be a choice because it's not something that you're going to naturally feel or that you're

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going to naturally come to a logical conclusion of because everything's going to feel like the

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opposite for one thing that we've developed that habit and for another you know we've kind of been

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educated in that direction but remember that faith in the lord of faith and who he says that

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he is and who he says that we are actually is an intentional willful decision that that is true

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and an intentional decision that that is reality and so what you do is in those moments you choose

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that that is more important to you as weird as this sounds that is more important to you than

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getting to sleep because a lot of times we that's why we get frustrated is this again as hard as it

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sounds we're idolizing um the idolizing the sleep and what it is that we think that it'll get us

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because we're like well i don't want to be tired in the morning or i want to have good health or i

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want to have whatever and this is getting in the way and my body's the one that's doing it and

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therefore i need to whip it into shape and i just and it's not listening to me and there's all this

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subconscious stuff that's going on that um that we want to that we want to get rid of so what we

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do is we instead of choosing that as our highest value and fixing this and identifying this as a

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problem that needs to be fixed if we choose the lord instead and we're like okay well you know

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just allow it to be whatever it is and i just love myself for you know and i love my body and it's all

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okay it's just operating out of fear that it feels that and it feels that it is having to

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succumb to whatever pressures that environmental pressures that it's feeling whatever hormonal

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imbalance that it ran into or whatever i don't know whatever like caused it to jerk awake to

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try to protect me or try to i don't know you know whatever sleep cycle it thinks that it's trying to

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follow you know and we just stop considering it the enemy and so we we start breaking down a lot

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of this subconscious resistance that we have and then we choose that god and the fact that he loves

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us and the fact that everything is okay um and the fact that he he provides for us and he he protects

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us we're safe um you know we're unconditionally loved we're unconditionally accepted in other

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words that our world is that he is ensuring that we're currently in the palm of his hand and

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everything is okay and he's going to work everything out even though we don't know how he's going to

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work it out we don't know when it's going to happen we don't know if that's necessarily the

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choice the path that we would choose in working that thing out but we just kind of give it give

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it to god so you just don't try to solve anything you don't try to fix anything and you don't get

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mad at yourself you don't get mad at your body and then and then you choose that that god is

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more important you just you give yourself a sense of like of um uh by choosing that god is all loving

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towards you and all accepting of you where it is that you are then you're kind of putting yourself

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it will begin to put yourself in a state of like non-resistance which which your body is more which

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then causes your body more likely to i'm sorry i'm trying to let tammy back in um uh to be more at

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be more at rest not just like mentally and emotionally and spiritually and all that but

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also physically and so um anyway does that does that help it sounds very weird and very counterintuitive

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i'm sure there's all kinds of practical things that you know

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can say and talk about, but, you know, those are like sleep clinics and stuff that, and technically

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I can even give you some of those, but, um, but that from a place of rest is how I would

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recommend dealing with it. That's what I have to do. And I wake up, you know, in the middle

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of the night. So is that helpful? It is. Thank you. You're welcome. Um, as far as some practical

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things, which, you know, I don't always speak to, but as far as some practical things, some

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of the things are kind of, um, I would recommend doing what I'm talking about first. Um, some of

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the things that, that people, uh, have, uh, that sleep clinics sometimes depending on sleep clinic,

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but they, they would, that they recommend is always making sure that you, uh, go don't go

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to bed until you're very, very sleepy so that your body doesn't associate bedtime with insomnia or

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sorry, not in bedtime, your bedroom with insomnia. And then you always, no matter when you go to bed,

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always, always, always, always, always, always force yourself to get up at the same time and

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don't allow yourself to take a nap and stuff like that gets your body back on a cycle of

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understanding. Okay. We sleep from this time to this time. And so those are some practical things,

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but it has nothing whatsoever to do with rest with at least relying on the Lord for it. So

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the first part there, don't go to bed until you're sleepy. Yes. Very, very sleepy. Like you're like,

286
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okay, I'm seriously ready to fall asleep. Yeah. Because, and then, and then also people say,

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sometimes I don't know if you'll want to necessarily do this again. I would recommend

288
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doing the, doing the stuff and rest first. Um, but you could do them. You could do them in tandem.

289
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Absolutely. But the other thing that is suggested is that when you wake up,

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unless you're ready to turn around and go right back to sleep, they recommend you leave the room

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and you do something that you want to do. You do something that makes you happy.

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You watch a show, which I don't know about that because it's stimulating, but, um, but, you know,

293
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you read a book or you draw or you paint or something so that again, your body does not

294
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associate insomnia with the bedroom. So, and so that it, Oh, it knows kind of like a child going

295
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through a bedtime routine, you know, how you get a child always ready for bed with a bedtime

296
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routine. So they always understand, okay, this is what we're about to do. So their body finally

297
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goes to sleep by the time you put them in bed. Um, so we do the same thing with ourselves that

298
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our body always associates that sleep with the bedroom anyway, but that has nothing whatsoever

299
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to do with rest, but there you go. And then you had asked another question, um, talking about,

300
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Oh, that you feel sad and you don't know, and you don't know why. Um, I, um, so I really,

301
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it's the same answer as what I gave you about sleep is that don't get upset at yourself for

302
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feeling sad and think, you know, I shouldn't feel sad. I should be feeling something else.

303
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Remember that rush shifting tool of like no judgment. So first of all, stop thinking it

304
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shouldn't be like this and it should be different. You know, I shouldn't feel sad. I should feel

305
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something else or whatever, and just stop judging it. Just like, okay, this is, this is what it is

306
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right now. You're not agreeing with it. You're not saying it's okay. You're not saying you want

307
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to stay here. You're not feeding it, but you're stopping the fighting of it. You're stopping

308
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judging it and saying, well, it shouldn't be like this. You know, you just kind of like, okay, well,

309
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this is just accept yourself being sad and just know that for whatever reason that you're just

310
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sad right now and allow your, your soul in a manner of speaking to have it say that it's

311
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that that aspect of you is important and needs to be heard. It doesn't mean that you're,

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that you're going to make a decision, you know, the, in the way that it wants you to make the

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decision, because again, you're the adults and you've decided you, you know, what it is that you

314
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need to do, but you still honor and acknowledge that part of yourself. And then you're, you're

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less likely to, to stay there. So that's one thing is just love and accept the fact. Okay. Well,

316
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you know, I mean, you don't love the fact that you're, that you are, you're sad. You just love

317
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that part of you. You just love the fact that, oh, well, I love myself anyway, but I'm just

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fine. Not love myself, despite love myself with like, even while I'm sad in this aspect of me,

319
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that is, has a tendency to be sad because of whatever it's triggered by or whatever.

320
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I love that part of me. Didn't mean that you agree with it. Does it mean that you want to

321
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still do it? It just means that you love that part of you that ends up sadly, sometimes being

322
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sad, but it doesn't make that aspect of you wrong or something to be rejected or something to not

323
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be loved because, or while it's sad, it has, it's completely irrelevant to whether or not you love

324
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that part of you. Right. And so you just love and accept yourself.

325
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Holy while you're sad.

326
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And again, that'll help you let go of the sadness faster.

327
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And then the other thing is, uh, to, to do just what I was talking

328
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about with the, with the sleep thing is to choose that God, that you

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were fully loved and fully accepted.

330
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And it is, again, I keep repeating it.

331
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It is a choice and then it's amazing how much sadness will lift just by the fact

332
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that we're secure and we're in a state of provision and protection because

333
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we are, you know, encompassed by and sustained by and abiding in that,

334
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which sustains everything in that, which supplies everything, whatever.

335
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So, and you don't have to know why you're sad, but sadness, just like

336
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anything else, you can go through the rush shifting tools and drop things

337
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like no shame and no condemnation and tell yourself to stop and then, you

338
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know, no judgment and, and then choose and go with your spirit finds peace

339
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or declare and go where your soul finds peace, you know, et cetera.

340
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So the rest of team tools are for any aspects of ourselves that just don't

341
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feel like they're in alignment with, um, uh, with the Lord meaning like,

342
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you know, it could be fear.

343
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It could be anger, could be sadness, could be frustration,

344
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could be confusion, could be whatever.

345
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And I mean, like a disturbed confusion.

346
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I don't mean like general confusion, like, okay, well, I'm

347
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trying to figure something out.

348
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I mean, like, you're really bothered by the fact that you're confused.

349
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Things feel chaotic, anything that feels negative or that internally feels

350
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heavy and you would be, you know, I don't, I don't know why I know this

351
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about you, but it's just kind of like this intuitive thing that I know from

352
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having pulled all kinds of things together about you over the years,

353
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past couple of years is I know that you're very familiar with this.

354
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You're very familiar with knowing, okay.

355
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You know, that aspect of you that would feel heavy during that time.

356
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So that thing right there, that is a sign of being in unrest versus

357
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that other aspect of you that you've come to recognize that, Oh, that's life

358
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in me, that right there, that spirit versus that that's flesh, you know?

359
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So that's, that's what I would recommend.

360
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There are very basic things that so often to people can feel irrelevant to the

361
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actual thing that we're trying to deal with.

362
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Like if someone's saying, Oh, I'm sad.

363
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Well, they're not like they're, they don't usually come to people and get

364
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the answer that, Oh, you're, you need to choose that God loves you.

365
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You need to choose it.

366
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You loves you unconditionally that there's nothing wrong with you, but

367
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he's not upset at you being sad.

368
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You know, that you can come to him and like what we've been talking about,

369
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you know, with some of the stuff, like for instance, that Tammy's been

370
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brought up, but that Tammy's brought up with some of the stuff that she's

371
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going through is we can, what to do with our negative emotions, you know?

372
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We, we experientially have, how would you explain that?

373
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We, we discover that God really is who he says that he is by experiencing it.

374
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So take the advantage of those opportunities of like, when you feel a

375
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particular way that you just don't like, and let's all be honest, none of us like

376
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being with ourselves when we're feeling mad or sad or whatever, there's something

377
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about it, just like, I just don't like being with me right now, but take

378
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that and be that with God.

379
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So you don't have to be alone in it.

380
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Just take it and just be with him instead of not wanting to be with him.

381
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Cause we're afraid he's going to correct it or to get onto us or to judge it or to

382
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punish us or to do where there's something that in the middle of all of our negative

383
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emotions, okay, now that's telling me I got to do something on top of it.

384
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And then we just don't have, we're just saying, I just don't have the energy or

385
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just allow yourself to be able to trust you and your emotions and feeling like

386
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that in God's presence.

387
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And trust God with that.

388
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And then see what his love, his unconditional love has been his

389
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unconditional, um, acceptance of you will make you feel as opposed to, well,

390
00:24:03.480 --> 00:24:04.640
how do I stop feeling sad?

391
00:24:04.680 --> 00:24:07.800
Well, why don't you, we take it before the Lord and see what being in his

392
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presence while we're sad, what it ends up, what ends up happening to us, let

393
00:24:13.160 --> 00:24:18.720
experiencing the being of God himself, you know, changes and affect us.

394
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You know, as opposed to us trying to apply some kind of psychology outside

395
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of God, which is what all the non-believers have at their disposal.

396
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And we have something else.

397
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So anyway, those are my thoughts.

398
00:24:31.480 --> 00:24:33.080
Well, does that make sense?

399
00:24:33.080 --> 00:24:33.960
Is that helpful?

400
00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:35.240
Yes.

401
00:24:35.280 --> 00:24:35.520
Yeah.

402
00:24:35.520 --> 00:24:36.600
I think that is helpful.

403
00:24:36.600 --> 00:24:37.120
Thank you.

404
00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:43.760
Sometimes I think I, well, I'm, I think I just try to be busy then.

405
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:45.200
Oh yeah.

406
00:24:45.520 --> 00:24:45.840
Yeah.

407
00:24:46.560 --> 00:24:46.840
Yeah.

408
00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:51.760
Um, one of the issues with that is it means that you, that we try to escape

409
00:24:51.760 --> 00:24:56.400
ourselves, we're like, I don't like this feeling, so I'm just going to ignore it,

410
00:24:56.920 --> 00:24:58.760
but then it doesn't get dealt with.

411
00:24:58.760 --> 00:25:00.040
And there's aspects of yourself.

412
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.240
selves that subconsciously will feel rejected and that you're not enough for you and that

413
00:25:07.040 --> 00:25:12.000
those are aspects of yourself that won't feel safe with you. And then you won't trust yourself

414
00:25:13.120 --> 00:25:16.080
because you're like, well, there's this part of me that just gets upset.

415
00:25:16.080 --> 00:25:20.000
There's this part of me that gets sad and I don't know how to control it, you know,

416
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:25.920
but it's hard to be the parent for yourself and to be the safe place for the rest of you to feel sad.

417
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:32.640
You know, so that's your spirit wanting to provide a safe place for your soul and body to navigate

418
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:38.480
the fear to navigate on my word, what's going to happen if we do trust the Lord and I don't know,

419
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:43.600
you know, and, um, and that's the thing that you're trying to overcome. You're trying to

420
00:25:43.600 --> 00:25:49.360
overcome all of the beliefs that you've had, that you're not okay. If you're sad, you're not okay.

421
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:56.320
If you're afraid or whatever. So, and then that's Amy. So those are just some ideas.

422
00:25:57.520 --> 00:26:07.440
So thank you, Ashley. You're welcome. Does anyone have anything else?

423
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:13.840
Am I going to have to submit questions every week and pretend that they're from one of you.

424
00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:24.400
I got some questions this week. I'm like planning. It made me laugh, but I have to do that all the

425
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:29.200
time. And it gets, you know, it's crack set, but I always make myself laugh. You know, I'll be the

426
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:35.040
only one that gets, you know, I'll be the only one that gets, you know, I'll be the only one that

427
00:26:35.040 --> 00:26:40.000
I always make myself laugh. You know, I'll be the only one laughing hysterically. I feel like

428
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:47.120
you made yourself laugh again. I'm like, I did. I did. He's not laughing. Sometimes he smiles

429
00:26:47.120 --> 00:26:51.520
sometimes whatever, but I'm over there hysterically laughing because I made myself laugh.

430
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:57.040
I told him, I said, I'm very wholesome. I'm very wholesome. You're very wholesome.

431
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:03.520
It's very innocent. So

432
00:27:12.800 --> 00:27:18.080
anything with like, I don't know if y'all have y'all been able to watch any of those extra ones

433
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:24.400
I've put up and trying to remember what they were. Oh, choosing yourself. And you know, and

434
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:31.440
Oh no, it wasn't choosing yourself. It was a, how to be enough for yourself. And then, uh,

435
00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:39.920
in the losing weight, those two things, those are hard for me. I really do. I don't know why

436
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:45.040
I'm very hard on myself. I found it very hard when you were saying those words that

437
00:27:45.600 --> 00:27:53.440
we are enough and just to accept yourself where you're at and, you know, just why is it so hard

438
00:27:53.440 --> 00:28:00.320
for us? Like, you know, why is it so hard to, like, I was just crying, just listening to your

439
00:28:00.320 --> 00:28:09.200
words. Cause it was just very hard to hear that Bible says that we know it, but I mean,

440
00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:15.840
there's always some form of insecurity somewhere, you know? So yeah.

441
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:21.920
Yeah. Yeah. And it's an, it's evidence of like, like I was mentioning earlier,

442
00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:32.160
you know, self-rejection of like, I'm this thing that always has to be, um, fought and I'm always

443
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:39.200
this thing that has to be, um, uh, that has to be kind of whipped into shape or, and here's a really

444
00:28:39.200 --> 00:28:50.800
big one, um, that has to be, um, restrained that I, in my natural state and very destructive to

445
00:28:50.800 --> 00:29:00.160
myself and other people, and I'm not, I'm not safe. Um, and, and, uh, so there's just, just me

446
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:05.520
in my natural state. I'm just not enough. I'm always too much. I, or I feel like I'm too much

447
00:29:05.520 --> 00:29:09.680
or feel I'm not enough, you know, and it depends on the day and the moment as to which one we're

448
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:17.440
feeling, but we feel both. And, um, so yeah, it just, it's just evidence of, uh, when you talked

449
00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:24.320
about the fact that, oh, they were hard to listen to it's evidence of, um, that resistance, you know,

450
00:29:24.320 --> 00:29:30.560
that I talk about, uh, the fact and, and understand that that resistance, and I'm just going to bring

451
00:29:30.560 --> 00:29:36.160
this full circle again from the rest, uh, retreat where I was talking about this, you know,

452
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:42.800
resistance is the thing that is, what it is that we're resisting as we're resisting that we're

453
00:29:42.800 --> 00:29:49.600
resisting the truth that God has spoken. We're resisting himself. We're resisting the gift that

454
00:29:49.600 --> 00:29:54.240
he gave us the gifts, you know, our inheritance that he gave us. And we're just like, yeah,

455
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:59.840
but it can't be, it can't be that good. I can't be that good. I can't be that. Okay.

456
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.440
I can't that be that enough and, and, um, it's just really hard for us to accept.

457
00:30:07.920 --> 00:30:09.760
And it was for me.

458
00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:15.420
And so what I had to do, and this is why I talk so much, uh, to people about

459
00:30:15.420 --> 00:30:19.900
faith and just really, really try to drive it home is because that's the

460
00:30:19.900 --> 00:30:21.940
only thing that finally worked for me.

461
00:30:22.380 --> 00:30:25.960
You know, all of this stuff that I talk about, these were not feelings

462
00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:29.600
that suddenly came over me and then God showed up in my room and there

463
00:30:29.600 --> 00:30:32.400
was like the blazing light and all my word now I know, and now I've got to

464
00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:37.760
tell everybody they were things that no matter what I, or God did, I wasn't

465
00:30:37.760 --> 00:30:45.400
convinced and I noticed that my life seemed to be, um, just not making

466
00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:48.560
progress and didn't seem to be a meaning.

467
00:30:48.560 --> 00:30:53.000
Like it didn't seem to be lining up with what the Bible said I should expect.

468
00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:58.040
So the only thing that I hadn't tried, cause I read the Bible from cover to

469
00:30:58.040 --> 00:31:02.720
cover to figure out what formula that I wasn't following that I'd somehow

470
00:31:02.720 --> 00:31:07.360
missed that I needed to, you know, plug in, in order to get particular results

471
00:31:07.360 --> 00:31:11.160
in order to get the inheritance that God said that I should be experiencing

472
00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:14.960
all this great stuff, that being a Christian should be fun, that being a

473
00:31:14.960 --> 00:31:19.680
Christian should be freeing and that I should be more free and have more fun

474
00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:24.880
and more joy and be more at rest and less afraid and less insecure than all

475
00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:27.680
the other non-believers, but they seem to be happier than me.

476
00:31:27.840 --> 00:31:29.480
I'm like, okay, this doesn't make any sense.

477
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.360
And a lot of other Christians who didn't seem to be pursuing God as

478
00:31:33.360 --> 00:31:36.000
hard as me were happier than me.

479
00:31:36.120 --> 00:31:38.200
I'm like, none of this makes sense.

480
00:31:38.800 --> 00:31:43.760
And so, but they were accepting things about God, at least some of them were,

481
00:31:43.760 --> 00:31:47.120
maybe not all of them, but you know, we're accepting things about God and

482
00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:51.600
what he said about them, whether or not subconsciously, at least subconsciously

483
00:31:51.600 --> 00:31:54.440
they were just like the non-believers often do.

484
00:31:55.280 --> 00:32:00.960
Um, and they were accepting things that God said to actually be true.

485
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:05.600
And I wasn't, and I kept thinking it, I kept making it too hard.

486
00:32:05.600 --> 00:32:10.640
So finally, the only thing that worked that finally, that finally just broke

487
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:14.080
everything where I finally crossed the threshold and all of a sudden my life

488
00:32:14.120 --> 00:32:18.760
became different was when I finally chose that it was actually all true.

489
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:21.520
And I didn't feel it.

490
00:32:21.560 --> 00:32:23.000
I didn't feel that I deserved it.

491
00:32:23.280 --> 00:32:25.320
I, I didn't feel that I was enough.

492
00:32:25.360 --> 00:32:30.400
I just, there there's no other phrasing that I can think of other than just

493
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:36.440
to say, I chose that it was true and it felt like I was making it up.

494
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:40.480
And that's what I always try to kind of make sure everybody understands.

495
00:32:40.520 --> 00:32:44.440
It really will feel like you are making it up out of your head.

496
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:49.400
And therefore, and we're not used to following anything that we make up out

497
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:53.280
of our head, at least since we were really young, because that was educated

498
00:32:53.280 --> 00:32:57.320
out of us and quite honestly, it was punished out of us as well.

499
00:32:58.040 --> 00:33:04.480
Don't make things up don't whatever, you know, and, and so it, it feels very

500
00:33:04.480 --> 00:33:13.680
counter to what we have been relying on as, um, as a safe or responsible way to

501
00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:20.000
live and, but none of the other stuff that everybody educated me on of like

502
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:21.960
the good way to live was working.

503
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:29.160
It, I knew that I could do it and get the world's success, but I wasn't

504
00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:31.640
getting the success that God promised.

505
00:33:31.960 --> 00:33:37.560
And I thought, well, if that's what I want, then, you know, what, how, how

506
00:33:37.560 --> 00:33:43.360
can I get that because I knew that this couldn't get that, um, so anyway,

507
00:33:43.360 --> 00:33:46.240
I just, I knew it could get me what the world wanted and I was like, well, I

508
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:51.720
don't want that because God's not in that, um, that's just pushing for fame

509
00:33:51.720 --> 00:33:58.600
and success and relationship and comfort and, and many by, I don't know, by

510
00:33:58.600 --> 00:34:04.080
myself, by working hard, by, I don't know, just following the, the, the, um,

511
00:34:04.120 --> 00:34:07.720
although the formula of the kingdom of the world, I thought that that doesn't

512
00:34:07.720 --> 00:34:11.639
give me peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, you know, didn't

513
00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:13.600
give me intimacy with God.

514
00:34:13.600 --> 00:34:16.000
And those are the things that I decided that I wanted.

515
00:34:16.639 --> 00:34:22.600
So, and, and experiencing God loving me, not just telling myself,

516
00:34:22.600 --> 00:34:24.120
but actually experiencing it.

517
00:34:24.120 --> 00:34:27.800
There was something in me that knew I was supposed to be able to experience it.

518
00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:31.480
I was, it wasn't supposed to be something I had to continue to convince myself

519
00:34:31.480 --> 00:34:37.960
of every day in the, in the face of, of, you know, contrary information and proof.

520
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:40.120
And I was like, something is wrong.

521
00:34:40.159 --> 00:34:45.280
And, um, and all, all I had in it, in my life, at least to me were people

522
00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:48.320
who were pushing this other, even the Christians and I'm like,

523
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:50.199
people, this is not going to work.

524
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:54.639
So finally, I just lay there in bed one day, in fact, in the very apartment

525
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:58.160
that my husband and I are about to move back into in Texas, I was laying

526
00:34:58.160 --> 00:35:00.040
in that, in that apartment in bed.

527
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.040
And I was like, well, what is the, is there anything I haven't tried?

528
00:35:04.200 --> 00:35:05.400
And of course it sounds nice.

529
00:35:05.400 --> 00:35:09.280
Now, at the time I was adding the depths of despair.

530
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:10.720
I was bitter.

531
00:35:11.240 --> 00:35:13.680
I was, I had no money.

532
00:35:14.080 --> 00:35:15.800
I was having a trust alert for food.

533
00:35:16.200 --> 00:35:19.720
And, um, I had, um, the most important relationships in the

534
00:35:19.720 --> 00:35:22.440
world to me were, were messed up.

535
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:27.560
And, um, uh, anyway, and then none of my businesses were working or

536
00:35:27.560 --> 00:35:30.240
had for the past several months.

537
00:35:30.920 --> 00:35:33.960
And, um, and no one knew how bad things were for me.

538
00:35:34.360 --> 00:35:38.040
And then I didn't even feel that God loved me and I never had.

539
00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:40.400
And so here I am, you know?

540
00:35:40.600 --> 00:35:44.040
So in the face of that, I thought, what have I not tried?

541
00:35:44.040 --> 00:35:46.000
And I thought there's nothing I haven't tried.

542
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:46.680
And I don't got that.

543
00:35:46.680 --> 00:35:47.720
There's nothing I haven't tried.

544
00:35:48.400 --> 00:35:52.480
I thought, well, I haven't just decided that it's true.

545
00:35:53.480 --> 00:35:57.520
I haven't decided yet that he loved me or that I really was enough.

546
00:35:57.560 --> 00:36:01.400
And that I really was as amazing as he said that I am.

547
00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:05.440
And that he really does think about me in the way that the Bible says and like

548
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:07.400
say song of Solomon or whatever.

549
00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:10.240
And I just finally had to make a decision.

550
00:36:11.120 --> 00:36:19.360
So, um, and I basically took ownership of, of my own faith.

551
00:36:20.200 --> 00:36:24.120
I took ownership of what I was going to believe instead of

552
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:26.560
waiting for it to descend upon me.

553
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:32.440
Um, and, and therefore it wasn't, that would make it not my

554
00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:37.520
responsibility in someone else's, but I had to finally take up responsibility

555
00:36:37.520 --> 00:36:39.360
and just like, okay, what am I going to believe?

556
00:36:40.120 --> 00:36:44.720
And that's when everything changed, but I had to make the determination.

557
00:36:44.720 --> 00:36:48.280
And yeah, it does feel risky because it feels like, well, what if I

558
00:36:48.280 --> 00:36:51.200
am living in complete deceit?

559
00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:55.600
And I don't even have somebody else to blame for it.

560
00:36:56.080 --> 00:36:57.360
I'm the one who decided it.

561
00:36:57.600 --> 00:37:01.720
I mean, like you're taking on full ownership and responsibility of making a choice.

562
00:37:02.640 --> 00:37:06.280
And that means that you're taking on responsibility for whatever happens as

563
00:37:06.280 --> 00:37:07.800
a result of having made that choice.

564
00:37:08.240 --> 00:37:11.920
What if I would discover by stepping out kind of like, as if you suddenly

565
00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:14.480
believe that, oh, or are told that there's no gravity.

566
00:37:14.800 --> 00:37:17.320
You know, and you like stay and they tell you to step off a roof.

567
00:37:17.680 --> 00:37:21.280
You're like, well, you know, if God tells you to step off a roof and you're like,

568
00:37:22.480 --> 00:37:25.040
you know, you know, I didn't know what you had been doing.

569
00:37:25.040 --> 00:37:25.920
Wasn't working.

570
00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:26.440
Right.

571
00:37:26.720 --> 00:37:30.920
But you're willing to take that risk because it hasn't been working.

572
00:37:30.920 --> 00:37:32.480
And that's how I see it too.

573
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:35.360
You know, everything that I've tried hasn't worked.

574
00:37:35.840 --> 00:37:38.920
And so, yeah, God has to honor that part.

575
00:37:40.920 --> 00:37:41.320
Yeah.

576
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:45.720
Yeah, because the honors, the fact that you, that you're actually not stepping

577
00:37:45.720 --> 00:37:50.120
out on something that you wish were true, but you're stepping out on something that

578
00:37:50.120 --> 00:37:55.080
he said, and you were believing it in the only way that you can figure out how,

579
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:59.240
because think about it, you've, you've already been trying to believe this, but

580
00:37:59.240 --> 00:38:06.320
everything that you tried to, to step out on or believe about it, wasn't working.

581
00:38:06.640 --> 00:38:08.960
So you now have to try this new one.

582
00:38:09.640 --> 00:38:13.360
But yours, it's still what he said that you're stepping out on.

583
00:38:13.680 --> 00:38:16.360
And that is amazing how God will honor that.

584
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:21.360
Even when sometimes, and that's not the case with this, but with other things in

585
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:25.680
which it's actually not true that, and you're stepping out on something that's

586
00:38:25.680 --> 00:38:31.040
actually not him, if you are actually choosing it not to protect yourself, but

587
00:38:31.040 --> 00:38:36.120
simply because you think that's him, there is a way in which he will add, he

588
00:38:36.120 --> 00:38:39.760
will give you a protection in stepping out in that thing.

589
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:41.200
That's actually not him.

590
00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:46.760
And he'll educate you that it's not him because the B simply because he honors

591
00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:50.040
the fact that you're choosing it because you thought that was him.

592
00:38:50.280 --> 00:38:52.120
Cause you thought that that was his character.

593
00:38:52.120 --> 00:38:53.760
You thought that that's where he was.

594
00:38:54.760 --> 00:38:57.960
And, uh, and so he'll, he'll show you that, well, you know, that's

595
00:38:57.960 --> 00:38:59.600
actually not what I look like.

596
00:38:59.600 --> 00:39:03.880
And that's not what I would do, but, um, so I'll he'll, and then you'll

597
00:39:03.880 --> 00:39:05.600
gently guide you to the other thing.

598
00:39:05.880 --> 00:39:10.080
But the, and so there are sometimes even certain consequences of making that

599
00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:12.600
choice that we end up experiencing it.

600
00:39:12.680 --> 00:39:17.960
However, in my experience, what God has always done is he's always given

601
00:39:17.960 --> 00:39:20.720
me protection to make those mistakes.

602
00:39:21.040 --> 00:39:25.200
So kind of like, uh, kind of like what we do with children, where children, a

603
00:39:25.200 --> 00:39:28.600
child does not have to bear the full consequences of the choices that they

604
00:39:28.600 --> 00:39:33.440
make while they're in their parents' home, because they, I mean, and this is

605
00:39:33.480 --> 00:39:34.960
the example that I always give to this.

606
00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:38.960
If, if a child, you know, falls out of a tree, you know, and breaks his arm.

607
00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:42.880
Well, that's a really cheap lesson of what it's like.

608
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:46.000
If you're trying to like push the boundaries, because why, if you break

609
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:49.320
your arm, well, then your parents are the ones who take you to the doctor.

610
00:39:49.320 --> 00:39:53.040
Your parents are the ones who, you know, who listened to the doctor and figure

611
00:39:53.040 --> 00:39:55.920
out what you're supposed to do, and then go and get the medicine and figure out

612
00:39:55.920 --> 00:39:59.920
the insurance and pay for all of the bills and sure the kid has some.

613
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.200
inconvenience, you know, they don't get to play, you know,

614
00:40:03.240 --> 00:40:05.600
don't get to play baseball for the next few weeks, and they

615
00:40:05.600 --> 00:40:07.600
have to keep their arm out of the shower, you know, while

616
00:40:07.600 --> 00:40:09.320
they're taking a shower, and they have to do all this

617
00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:13.400
inconvenience stuff. But instead, there's a measure of

618
00:40:13.400 --> 00:40:16.200
the consequences that they have to bear, but it is nothing

619
00:40:16.200 --> 00:40:18.960
compared to the full consequences of their actions,

620
00:40:19.120 --> 00:40:21.520
their parents are carrying a huge load of it, God does the

621
00:40:21.520 --> 00:40:25.480
same thing for us. So even when we do things, while we're

622
00:40:25.480 --> 00:40:29.640
learning, God will God provides a protected environment to make

623
00:40:29.640 --> 00:40:34.760
mistakes. Total side notes, throwing this in for free, and

624
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:38.520
that, that that's what leaders are supposed to do. When people

625
00:40:38.520 --> 00:40:41.080
are leading in a company, and you're a manager of a group of

626
00:40:41.080 --> 00:40:44.760
people, or you're a manager of like, you know, your children

627
00:40:44.760 --> 00:40:48.640
or your bed, I don't know, the classroom or whatever. But I

628
00:40:48.640 --> 00:40:51.840
particularly experienced this in work. That's what a leader is a

629
00:40:51.840 --> 00:40:55.040
leader doesn't get to make all the micromanaging decisions and

630
00:40:55.040 --> 00:40:58.600
tell everybody what to do. The manager provides a safe

631
00:40:58.600 --> 00:41:00.680
environment for the people underneath them to make

632
00:41:00.680 --> 00:41:04.720
mistakes. And the leader is the one who bears the consequences.

633
00:41:05.560 --> 00:41:08.800
But that's perfect. So moving on. But anyway, was that helpful?

634
00:41:10.120 --> 00:41:13.280
Okay, good, good. But that's why it fun. We find it hard. And

635
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:17.240
it's not going to be natural. We won't see evidence that we're

636
00:41:17.240 --> 00:41:19.720
enough. You know, because there's a reason why we believe

637
00:41:19.720 --> 00:41:22.440
what we do. We don't believe what we do just, I don't know,

638
00:41:22.440 --> 00:41:25.800
just because we feel like it. There's reasons. It's because

639
00:41:25.800 --> 00:41:29.120
there's been all this proof. And there's been no proof or not

640
00:41:29.120 --> 00:41:32.280
enough proof of what God said, in our in our minds and our

641
00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:37.200
experience, and we don't feel it. So, you know, and so God

642
00:41:37.200 --> 00:41:40.840
says, Yeah, exactly. That's not faith. Faith is where neither of

643
00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:43.320
those exist. And I tell you to Jesus anyway, because I think

644
00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:47.120
so. So but even though you feel like it'll make you're making it

645
00:41:47.120 --> 00:41:51.680
up. You're always choosing what God has said first, not what you

646
00:41:51.680 --> 00:41:55.560
wish were true. You know, so that's very different than say

647
00:41:55.560 --> 00:41:58.200
that like a law of attraction or whatever that decides to make

648
00:41:58.200 --> 00:42:02.440
up what they want to be reality. And then they push forth, but

649
00:42:02.440 --> 00:42:06.400
they're the originator. And so when you have faith, you're not

650
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:09.240
the originator. It's something that God said first, you're

651
00:42:09.240 --> 00:42:14.200
responding to word. And that's what your faith is. They might

652
00:42:14.200 --> 00:42:17.760
fail. That's fine. That's hard. And thanks for bringing that up.

653
00:42:17.760 --> 00:42:18.440
I'm glad you did.

654
00:42:18.440 --> 00:42:26.320
Yeah. So someone wrote and then Oh, good. So you haven't gotten

655
00:42:26.320 --> 00:42:28.960
to listen to this. So yeah, just if they're helpful, they're

656
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:57.120
helpful. I think Annette said that she had something but I

657
00:42:57.120 --> 00:43:00.800
don't think that if she verbalized it in her journey

658
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:04.480
share forgot she said she was going to bring it up during our

659
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:21.360
rest group. So how has this the how has the rest intensive been

660
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:28.720
for y'all as far as like, are y'all actually experiencing you

661
00:43:28.720 --> 00:43:34.200
know, this actually what rest means what your life can look

662
00:43:34.200 --> 00:43:37.400
like, you know, by shifting into rest in various areas and

663
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:39.680
various degrees, because remember, this is a lifestyle,

664
00:43:39.680 --> 00:43:41.880
it's not a one and done thing like, Oh, we're just trying to

665
00:43:41.880 --> 00:43:44.040
get to rest. Finally, we do it. And then everything's like

666
00:43:44.040 --> 00:43:47.360
hanky dory. But this is this is something that we live every day

667
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:51.760
because this is what Jesus led for 33 years. He and he

668
00:43:51.760 --> 00:43:54.600
continually chose the rest. In other words, he continually

669
00:43:54.600 --> 00:43:58.880
chose to trust his father. And that is how he overcame and

670
00:43:58.880 --> 00:44:02.360
that's how when he was a when he died and rose again, his body

671
00:44:02.360 --> 00:44:07.120
was now transfigured into spirit and from the flesh into the

672
00:44:07.120 --> 00:44:10.440
spirit. And so now that spirit, that spirit body that can still

673
00:44:10.440 --> 00:44:12.840
eat, they can still walk through walls, you know, or that could

674
00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:15.120
still eat whatever can now walk through walls. And so it could

675
00:44:15.120 --> 00:44:19.800
choose when it wanted to obey the laws of the physical laws

676
00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:25.120
and when it didn't. And so that body is what exists today, it

677
00:44:25.120 --> 00:44:28.160
ascended, you know, which again, it's not something that a

678
00:44:28.160 --> 00:44:31.360
fleshly body could do, but it is something that a spiritual body

679
00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:35.280
can do. And so that's what we're doing is this is the lifestyle

680
00:44:35.320 --> 00:44:39.520
of overcoming of actually taking the victory that God won,

681
00:44:39.520 --> 00:44:41.200
because remember, there's nothing that we're having to

682
00:44:41.200 --> 00:44:46.520
win. We're simply applying the victory that he already had.

683
00:44:47.040 --> 00:44:51.520
We're choosing to believe it in various areas in various

684
00:44:51.520 --> 00:44:55.800
degrees until until the the rest of creation, including our own

685
00:44:55.800 --> 00:44:59.600
soul and body comes into full agreement and then reflects the

686
00:44:59.600 --> 00:45:00.000
spirit.

687
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.800
and then transforms because remember any part of our flesh that comes into agreement with God

688
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:10.400
transforms into spirit and spirit can never die. So we're continually overcoming that.

689
00:45:11.360 --> 00:45:17.280
So that's what we're doing. So this is just, this is a lifestyle, you know, and it does get,

690
00:45:17.920 --> 00:45:22.960
and there's certain way in which it does get easier. Just FYI, just as an encouragement

691
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:27.200
to everyone, it does get easier because what you're doing is you're, you and the Lord are

692
00:45:27.200 --> 00:45:36.800
building up an experience, a repertoire, a portfolio of faithfulness, where he's faithful,

693
00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:43.680
where you will come to new degrees and new areas in which he's going to call you to have faith in

694
00:45:43.680 --> 00:45:50.000
him about something. And it'll be new. Do you go, oh my word, I've never had to have faith in him

695
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:56.320
in this area, or I have in this area, but just not to this degree. But what you'll remember is

696
00:45:56.320 --> 00:46:04.240
what is our history together? Our history is that he has always proven himself on the other side.

697
00:46:04.240 --> 00:46:11.520
Always. Now it's always different than I could have imagined. And in many cases, it's something

698
00:46:11.520 --> 00:46:17.120
that I can't ever imagine, but he always shows that some way, you know, so there's a way in

699
00:46:17.120 --> 00:46:20.400
which you'll just learn to trust. Well, I don't know what it's going to be like, but he's going

700
00:46:20.400 --> 00:46:24.880
to be there. I'm always going to see something about him. He's always going to show up. He's

701
00:46:24.880 --> 00:46:29.440
always going to carry the day. He's always going to catch me. So he's going to whatever. So in that

702
00:46:29.440 --> 00:46:37.200
aspect, it gets easier. In another aspect, it continues to stay just as hard. And I know that

703
00:46:37.200 --> 00:46:43.440
that sounds really weird, but here's why. It's always still a risk. There's a reason why we're

704
00:46:43.440 --> 00:46:49.120
not choosing it. It's because it's an unknown and it's a risk. It's we have to let go of this,

705
00:46:49.120 --> 00:46:55.920
and we've been relying on this. And now we can't hold onto this while choosing this too. It's not,

706
00:46:55.920 --> 00:47:01.680
okay, well, I'm going to keep one foot here just in case this doesn't work out. That's not possible.

707
00:47:01.680 --> 00:47:07.120
You have to completely let go of this, burn the bridges, so to speak, where you've got no

708
00:47:07.760 --> 00:47:13.440
opportunity to catch yourself. You're completely relying on God and God alone to catch you.

709
00:47:14.080 --> 00:47:19.840
There's no plan B, none. That's the thing with faith. If there's a plan B,

710
00:47:20.800 --> 00:47:26.080
if there's a plan B and what it is that you're doing, it's not actually faith. So you might as

711
00:47:26.080 --> 00:47:32.640
well just not even worry about trying. If you've got yourself a plan B, okay, well, God doesn't

712
00:47:32.640 --> 00:47:42.160
come through that, then it's not faith. There can be no plan B. So in that aspect, it's always just

713
00:47:42.160 --> 00:47:50.000
is hard. But there are certain areas of our, because we're just still having to trust God

714
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:55.760
really is that good. Think of the Israelites. The Israelites, we watched this and we all judged it

715
00:47:56.640 --> 00:48:02.080
of them going through the wilderness and like, oh my word, three days ago, God did this amazing

716
00:48:02.080 --> 00:48:06.480
miracle because they were complaining and they thought they were going to die. And then they

717
00:48:06.480 --> 00:48:11.280
saw this amazing thing. If I just had one of the miracles in my life, well, I would believe God for

718
00:48:11.280 --> 00:48:15.680
forever. And they've only believed God for three days and now they don't believe him anymore. And

719
00:48:15.680 --> 00:48:20.800
then now they're complaining again. We all judge it, but that's what we do. That's what we do with

720
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:26.160
her is it's like every time something happens, it's like every time we would come into a new

721
00:48:26.160 --> 00:48:30.400
situation, especially a very difficult one, if it just requires a little bit of faith,

722
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:36.240
it's easier. But if it's something that is very important to us and that we're really,

723
00:48:36.240 --> 00:48:40.640
really holding on to, or we thought God gave us, or we've got a whole doctrine built around

724
00:48:40.640 --> 00:48:45.120
or whatever, and God's not telling us to have faith in something and to let this go,

725
00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:51.200
you know, in those situations, it is the weirdest thing. It's like, God's never come through for me

726
00:48:51.200 --> 00:48:57.120
before. I don't know what he expects me now. You know, it's like, we've got amnesia.

727
00:48:57.840 --> 00:49:02.240
You know, I've experienced the same thing. I've been in those situations thinking,

728
00:49:03.040 --> 00:49:09.840
this is crazy. I know I saw God do amazing things, even just yesterday. And right now they're just

729
00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:16.560
not good enough to help me have faith in this new situation. I will lay there thinking, this is

730
00:49:16.560 --> 00:49:21.840
weird. This is just like the Israelites. You know, I'm like talking myself through all this and I'm

731
00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:30.400
still not making the choice. And I'm like, I know full well what I'm doing. Logic and psychologically

732
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:36.160
walking yourself through it won't fix it. It will not help you actually do it. You will not logically

733
00:49:36.160 --> 00:49:40.880
walk yourself to a conclusion other than the fact of something like, well, I've tried everything else

734
00:49:40.880 --> 00:49:46.480
and it didn't work. So how badly do I want that? You know, other than that, you know, it's there

735
00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:53.280
because logic doesn't work when there's no evidence to back it up, you know, and that's what faith is.

736
00:49:53.280 --> 00:49:59.840
Faith is, you know, is the evidence of things not seen. So.

737
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.120
Oh, you know, there's, in other words, no evidence.

738
00:50:03.520 --> 00:50:06.400
So anyway, don't know how it got off on all of that, but there you go.

739
00:50:08.240 --> 00:50:13.040
So, yeah, did you have a question, Rita?

740
00:50:14.160 --> 00:50:15.720
Yes, finally.

741
00:50:15.720 --> 00:50:19.440
I was going to say Tammy got excited because she had a party over there.

742
00:50:20.320 --> 00:50:23.400
I'm like, I know, I'm like, I already get all the answers

743
00:50:23.400 --> 00:50:25.760
when everybody says something, I'm like, OK, I need to do that.

744
00:50:26.160 --> 00:50:29.760
But I really feel I guess I am

745
00:50:30.120 --> 00:50:34.920
been avoiding because I'm like, I don't want to cry anymore.

746
00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:39.160
I mean, I know, like, God is safe, but I don't want to.

747
00:50:41.120 --> 00:50:43.080
I guess keep walking into that.

748
00:50:46.320 --> 00:50:48.480
Into what?

749
00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:51.680
Like feeling.

750
00:50:56.040 --> 00:50:58.200
I guess I'm feeling that he's not safe.

751
00:50:58.520 --> 00:51:01.200
No, like I don't want to cry anymore.

752
00:51:01.200 --> 00:51:03.280
Yeah, I just don't want to.

753
00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:06.120
Yeah. Well, part of it is

754
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:10.920
that we we get comfortable, even even when we're talking

755
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:14.560
about something like rest, you know, it's similar to what

756
00:51:14.560 --> 00:51:19.000
we've been living our life this whole time, which is up to this point,

757
00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:23.360
which is, you know, I want more of God.

758
00:51:23.360 --> 00:51:28.720
And I but I don't want to do what is actually going to require of me.

759
00:51:28.720 --> 00:51:32.600
So therefore, I'll just be content with what I've gained this far

760
00:51:32.960 --> 00:51:37.080
because it's comfortable, because it won't require the stretching.

761
00:51:37.080 --> 00:51:38.840
It won't require the crying.

762
00:51:38.840 --> 00:51:44.480
It won't require the the actually having to to trust God

763
00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:47.160
in a risky, unknown way again.

764
00:51:48.320 --> 00:51:50.240
And so, no, that's very normal.

765
00:51:51.160 --> 00:51:51.880
That's it.

766
00:51:51.880 --> 00:51:56.480
So the thing is, we just we just have to choose what is it that we really want.

767
00:51:56.480 --> 00:52:01.080
And so remember, again, you're not gaining anything more of God.

768
00:52:01.240 --> 00:52:03.520
You already have it now.

769
00:52:03.520 --> 00:52:06.680
God's just like, hey, look, you can stay right where you are.

770
00:52:07.120 --> 00:52:08.240
You know what it is.

771
00:52:08.240 --> 00:52:10.560
And and I will love you just the same.

772
00:52:10.560 --> 00:52:12.320
I'll talk to you just the same.

773
00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:14.000
You know, everything's great.

774
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:17.360
You know, you have everything of me, but you don't.

775
00:52:17.680 --> 00:52:23.560
But you're you're limited in what you get to experience in your soul and your body.

776
00:52:23.560 --> 00:52:25.720
You're getting to experience all these things in your spirit,

777
00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:28.800
but you're limited in what you're getting to experience in your soul

778
00:52:28.800 --> 00:52:32.960
and your body based off of what you're you're receiving of me

779
00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:34.240
and no longer resist.

780
00:52:34.240 --> 00:52:35.600
And so you get that.

781
00:52:35.600 --> 00:52:38.920
But anything that you're still resisting, you don't get to experience.

782
00:52:39.240 --> 00:52:41.320
So you still have it

783
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:44.720
and you're getting to experience it in your spirit.

784
00:52:44.720 --> 00:52:47.760
But if you want to experience more of it,

785
00:52:48.040 --> 00:52:54.240
then you have to do the hard thing of like facing it or trusting God

786
00:52:54.240 --> 00:52:57.400
and trusting, you know, like going to when I say trust God.

787
00:52:57.400 --> 00:53:01.120
I'm talking about like going to that place where and you remember us

788
00:53:01.120 --> 00:53:04.440
talking about this, like especially back in October where you go.

789
00:53:04.440 --> 00:53:07.840
And I mentioned it again in the rest and the rest retreat

790
00:53:08.720 --> 00:53:12.080
where you come to kind of like this edge with the Lord.

791
00:53:12.080 --> 00:53:16.000
And you're like, OK, now, if I go anymore, I'm definitely

792
00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:18.320
don't believe that I'm safe.

793
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:22.440
And then we have to intentionally fall into that place of unsafety.

794
00:53:22.440 --> 00:53:27.960
It's almost like we come to the edge of a cliff or come to the edge of a fire

795
00:53:28.160 --> 00:53:30.760
and we intentionally throw ourselves in.

796
00:53:31.080 --> 00:53:33.040
It's that counter.

797
00:53:34.200 --> 00:53:37.480
Is that contradictory to our tendency

798
00:53:37.480 --> 00:53:39.960
to do whatever we have to do to survive?

799
00:53:39.960 --> 00:53:41.000
It's that hard.

800
00:53:41.000 --> 00:53:44.360
But it's the one area that God wants us to cast ourselves in.

801
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:47.840
Is anything is on anything that he says

802
00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:50.520
gave us that survival mode for a reason

803
00:53:51.160 --> 00:53:55.280
so that we would protect ourselves against anything that's not him.

804
00:53:55.640 --> 00:53:59.480
But he said he wants us to cast ourselves on him

805
00:53:59.480 --> 00:54:01.640
because he'll actually be there.

806
00:54:01.640 --> 00:54:02.840
We're so used to.

807
00:54:02.840 --> 00:54:06.680
We're so scared of not casting ourselves into that place

808
00:54:06.680 --> 00:54:10.120
because we're used to nothing being there.

809
00:54:10.520 --> 00:54:12.560
But God said, I'm the exception.

810
00:54:12.880 --> 00:54:16.200
I'm there and all of our experience

811
00:54:16.200 --> 00:54:19.400
proves in every other area of life, that's not God.

812
00:54:19.640 --> 00:54:22.040
Every other area has proved that it's not true.

813
00:54:22.920 --> 00:54:25.000
But God is actually true.

814
00:54:25.240 --> 00:54:29.600
Meaning like like we followers, if we if we fallen into or,

815
00:54:29.680 --> 00:54:32.920
you know, any other area and we rest ourselves in any other area in life,

816
00:54:33.320 --> 00:54:37.720
you know, we found out that it actually that we actually couldn't count on it.

817
00:54:38.200 --> 00:54:40.000
And God's like, yeah, but I'm different.

818
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:43.000
And so it's very understandable that you don't want to do that

819
00:54:43.000 --> 00:54:47.800
because your experience is that that's not safe, that you won't be caught,

820
00:54:48.480 --> 00:54:50.680
that you that you won't be upheld.

821
00:54:51.440 --> 00:54:53.720
But God is saying, I'm different.

822
00:54:53.880 --> 00:54:57.520
And so you so experience that I'm actually different.

823
00:54:58.080 --> 00:54:59.520
I'll tell you that.

824
00:54:59.520 --> 00:54:59.840
But you.

825
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.820
actually have to trust me and experience the experience that before you'll

826
00:55:04.820 --> 00:55:10.940
actually see the evidence that it's true, you're falling into it and

827
00:55:10.940 --> 00:55:15.000
experiencing it means like you're, it means that you're accepting God's word.

828
00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:16.260
You're receiving God's word.

829
00:55:16.260 --> 00:55:20.760
And it's you receiving God's word that creates the evidence.

830
00:55:21.260 --> 00:55:23.700
In other words, you'll actually start seeing it in your life.

831
00:55:23.700 --> 00:55:27.020
We'll start experiencing in your life that what God said actually is true,

832
00:55:27.020 --> 00:55:31.280
but you don't get that until you've chosen it first without seeing it and

833
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:32.380
you risk everything.

834
00:55:32.540 --> 00:55:34.860
So that's totally up to you.

835
00:55:35.660 --> 00:55:40.540
You know, what do you want to receive more of the Lord?

836
00:55:41.020 --> 00:55:45.940
And, um, and then because that's what it is you're receiving, but you're not

837
00:55:45.940 --> 00:55:50.700
receiving more of him, you're receiving more experience of him.

838
00:55:50.900 --> 00:55:53.840
You're finally getting to experience what you wish, what it is you already

839
00:55:53.840 --> 00:55:56.760
have, you're getting to learn what it is you already have.

840
00:55:56.760 --> 00:55:58.300
And then you get to experience it.

841
00:55:58.600 --> 00:56:01.920
You get to be taught by the Lord, how to use it, how your life gets

842
00:56:01.920 --> 00:56:03.640
changed as a result of it.

843
00:56:03.960 --> 00:56:07.080
So that's what you're gaining is the experience.

844
00:56:07.360 --> 00:56:13.080
So I find that freeing because I'm not work because that, that takes

845
00:56:13.080 --> 00:56:14.400
the work out of everything.

846
00:56:14.680 --> 00:56:17.640
I'm not working for it to earn or gain more.

847
00:56:17.640 --> 00:56:18.440
I already have it.

848
00:56:19.080 --> 00:56:26.200
All that I'm doing is I'm choosing to shift out of, of, um, my agreement that

849
00:56:26.200 --> 00:56:32.720
I'm enslaved to and choose more love and freedom, but it's, it's risky.

850
00:56:33.120 --> 00:56:34.760
You know, that's why it doesn't feel good.

851
00:56:34.760 --> 00:56:35.880
And that's why it's scary.

852
00:56:36.160 --> 00:56:39.640
But what I gained is always, always, always without exception, without

853
00:56:39.640 --> 00:56:45.120
exception, 100% guaranteed, always more love and freedom, but yeah, going

854
00:56:45.120 --> 00:56:46.880
through that veil is very hard.

855
00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:52.320
So, um, so anyway, just, just, I would just recommend walk your walk through

856
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:58.120
that with God and determine what you want, because if you stay where you

857
00:56:58.120 --> 00:57:00.440
are, just as you are, that's fine.

858
00:57:01.400 --> 00:57:02.920
Because God says you still have him.

859
00:57:03.040 --> 00:57:08.560
You're not going to gain anymore, but is there something of him that you

860
00:57:08.560 --> 00:57:13.440
want to get to experience some way in which you want your life to be impacted?

861
00:57:13.960 --> 00:57:18.440
There's something in your spirit that, you know, in your soul that yearns for

862
00:57:18.440 --> 00:57:25.000
something that you know is there and that you decide that you want bad enough in

863
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.440
order to do what you have to do, which is all good things, it's risking it on someone

864
00:57:29.440 --> 00:57:31.920
who promises that he's, he always comes through.

865
00:57:32.640 --> 00:57:35.600
Do you, do you want to do that or not?

866
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:38.120
It's really up to you, but.

867
00:57:38.880 --> 00:57:44.760
Under, but you'll, what'll help you is if you feel free to not make that decision

868
00:57:46.440 --> 00:57:49.600
for you to stay where you are, you're completely free and you're completely

869
00:57:49.600 --> 00:57:54.680
loved and completely, you're completely fine to stay where you are, you know, you

870
00:57:54.680 --> 00:58:01.560
have God, so you just decide, is there, do you want to experience more of what you

871
00:58:01.560 --> 00:58:07.400
already have so that it becomes more of your life, um, you know, and whatever.

872
00:58:07.400 --> 00:58:09.360
And that's, that's each of our choice.

873
00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:12.160
We're not talking about, we're not talking about Christianity here.

874
00:58:12.160 --> 00:58:15.160
We're not talking about whether or not you're a son of God, we're talking about

875
00:58:15.160 --> 00:58:20.200
what your life is like as a son of God on earth, you know?

876
00:58:21.040 --> 00:58:23.240
Um, and so that's what that is.

877
00:58:23.640 --> 00:58:27.240
Not in choosing, but we're not choosing between, do you want to become a Christian?

878
00:58:28.760 --> 00:58:29.320
You're already there.

879
00:58:29.320 --> 00:58:30.080
You already got it.

880
00:58:30.520 --> 00:58:31.680
So, but do you want more?

881
00:58:32.160 --> 00:58:34.000
So there's no pressure.

882
00:58:34.920 --> 00:58:42.920
It just, it's, it's, it's all, it's all a, an exciting choice that

883
00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:45.240
you are given of what do you want?

884
00:58:46.240 --> 00:58:52.040
Do you want more, but there's no pressure to no pressure, even from God.

885
00:58:52.440 --> 00:58:57.200
There's just a yearning and desire from him that you're feeling the pull of.

886
00:58:58.840 --> 00:59:02.840
But there's no pressure because you can't get any more from him.

887
00:59:02.840 --> 00:59:06.520
And then you've already given you, you know, so anyway, is that helpful?

888
00:59:08.560 --> 00:59:08.840
Okay.

889
00:59:09.920 --> 00:59:10.200
Okay.

890
00:59:10.200 --> 00:59:10.440
Good.

891
00:59:10.760 --> 00:59:11.000
Yeah.

892
00:59:12.360 --> 00:59:16.480
Cause it's important when we're in those situations again, that we feel scared

893
00:59:16.520 --> 00:59:21.320
about to remember, um, that.

894
00:59:22.080 --> 00:59:27.080
It turned to just remember that there's nothing to, to fear that God's not

895
00:59:27.080 --> 00:59:31.200
looking over us going, Hey, look, you're bad or why won't you, or this is not

896
00:59:31.840 --> 00:59:34.120
it just, there really isn't.

897
00:59:35.160 --> 00:59:39.000
We're we're not, God isn't shaming us out of where we are.

898
00:59:40.360 --> 00:59:41.760
He's just draws us.

899
00:59:41.760 --> 00:59:44.400
He's like, Hey, I've already given you everything.

900
00:59:45.320 --> 00:59:48.360
And I wouldn't do that if I thought you were bad, you know?

901
00:59:48.440 --> 00:59:50.520
So I'm definitely not going to shame you for being the

902
00:59:50.520 --> 00:59:52.400
perfection that I've created you to be.

903
00:59:52.680 --> 00:59:58.200
So all that there is left is to draw you to experience more of it.

904
00:59:58.520 --> 00:59:59.880
So it's all supposed.

905
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.360
be a draw. And we're not supposed to receive that draw as pressure. We're supposed to receive

906
01:00:05.360 --> 01:00:12.640
that draw in a response of, yes, I want that. So it's a, it's a, it's a pull that we get to

907
01:00:12.640 --> 01:00:19.760
choose to respond to, but it's not a push from behind that we're having to resist. So, yeah.

908
01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:24.240
So anyway, there's, there's no, there's no pressure. And often we find that it is easier.

909
01:00:25.200 --> 01:00:31.120
Often we find what it is we truly want and what is, and what we want bad enough

910
01:00:32.560 --> 01:00:36.880
and what our greatest value is when the pressure is finally off.

911
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:44.400
So one of the things that we naturally do is we resist that, which we want, if we feel there's

912
01:00:44.400 --> 01:00:49.680
pressure involved, you know, like think about, for instance, like if, if your parents or a

913
01:00:49.680 --> 01:00:55.920
Sunday school teacher or a, I don't know, and a regular academic teacher was pushing you towards

914
01:00:55.920 --> 01:01:00.880
something when you wanted it, but then you started getting all the pressure. There's parts of you

915
01:01:00.880 --> 01:01:06.400
that suddenly didn't want it anymore. And think about that's why so often people don't do what

916
01:01:06.400 --> 01:01:10.240
they love to do as a hobby. They don't want to do it as a business because they think that the

917
01:01:10.240 --> 01:01:16.160
joy will be taken out of it. Why? Because now pressure's added. So a lot of times people that

918
01:01:16.160 --> 01:01:22.640
paint don't want to paint on commission. Don't want to, some of them don't even want to sell it.

919
01:01:22.640 --> 01:01:26.960
You know, it, it just depends. Or say for instance, like they love playing the piano, but they don't

920
01:01:26.960 --> 01:01:32.080
want to do it in public. Why? Because they feel that there's pressure. You know, sometimes a lot

921
01:01:32.080 --> 01:01:36.320
of football players do that. A lot of football players, if they're not careful, can stop loving

922
01:01:36.320 --> 01:01:42.800
the game because now that they have added pressure of being in the NFL with all these millions and

923
01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:47.440
all these people watching and they got to keep up this lifestyle that they now have gotten their

924
01:01:47.440 --> 01:01:53.520
wives or their kids are accustomed to all of the sudden, you know, they can, it can kill the joy

925
01:01:53.520 --> 01:01:57.600
and the same thing with the Lord. You know, if we think that there's pressure, we're going to

926
01:01:57.600 --> 01:02:02.560
naturally resist that, which we want. So we have to understand this is your choice. God's not making

927
01:02:02.560 --> 01:02:10.480
us do anything. It's just that it's that good. And do we really want something that good?

928
01:02:11.440 --> 01:02:16.640
Or do we just think that it's not that good? And we'd rather keep what we have, you know,

929
01:02:17.680 --> 01:02:28.640
totally up to each one of us. So anyway, all right. So, okay, well, it is time. So I will let everyone

930
01:02:28.640 --> 01:02:35.280
go. I'm looking forward to seeing y'all's journey shares this week. If y'all haven't jumped on and

931
01:02:35.280 --> 01:02:41.840
see Renata and Annette, that's a really good. And I just got to watch them right before this.

932
01:02:41.840 --> 01:02:49.200
So I need to go in and, and do a comment on them. So, but anyway, it's good to see y'all and I will

933
01:02:49.200 --> 01:03:03.280
see y'all Tuesday night. Bye. Thanks. I'm choosing God is good. Yes. Great. I hope you sleep well.

934
01:03:03.440 --> 01:03:10.720
Thank you. And he loves me unconditionally. Yes. No matter what you need to remember that too.

935
01:03:11.440 --> 01:03:13.440
Thank you. Bye.