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Okay.

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All right.

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If I don't mute myself, it starts playing back at me, and let me just tag here.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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All right. Everyone else is here.

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Okay.

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So I'd love to hear before we go in, well, let me open in prayer.

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And

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I'd love to hear some shares about how God has been meeting me these past couple days.

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Just for a couple minutes I'd love like, I believe

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in my experience, and I have to become better about it myself.

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Every day, I plan to go live.

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Every day I don't. So, but when I do.

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I, I can hear what I'm processing it begins to form in my voice, and I'm developing an authority in the things that are that have been questions in me or things I'm not sure.

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It starts to be as soon as voice hits it. I mean, the word is so powerful. As soon as voice hits what I've been thinking what I've been pondering what God's been showing me or what what I'm experiencing or the questions that I have.

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Something starts happening in a message start forming and you begin to hear what's happening deep inside you.

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It brings clarity to the things that are going on inside you. And there's not one time that somebody, you know, won't feel won't hear like well I'm so glad I heard that every time you release your voice about what God's doing, you might not know about it.

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Sometimes you will sometimes he'll let you know, every single time, it's, it's also, it's to you but it's also through you for somebody else.

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Father, I want to thank you for that. I want to thank you for how I think of George Bush's 1000 points of light, and, and that that's what you're like, when we are interacting with you believing in you, thinking on you pondering meditating being still

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praying even talking about you, learning of you, God, and we go to express that something happens in us, something stirs in us our spirit begins to grow and jump like like john the baptist it's like, this is the best stuff.

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This is the best this is a meal. This is bread.

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This is wine, this is, this is, this is so sad.

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And, Lord, I thank you for that you've told us to put voice.

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You know, our faith speaks Paul says, and, and you say in your prayers whatsoever you're asking, so ever your, your saying declaring agreeing upon one with another, that you shall have.

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And, and so, Lord I ask that you would bring to life. Our speaking these words are sharing with one another our, our questions our experiences that all things would be bringing you glory.

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All things would be bringing you delight, as we are learning of you and discovering you in how you reveal yourself, one to another and in your word and, and in these encounters, and as we come together at your feet.

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Taking us wise virgins, filling us up with oil and and teaching us how not just to.

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to think about you, talk about you, even pray to ourselves in a way, but to know you, to

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experience you as you long to reveal yourself. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Okay. All right. So any shares past couple of days?

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I could share something what the Lord was teaching me today. I was snowshoeing and the

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snow was really deep. And I found that when I put my snowshoe in the, in the mark that

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had already been made in front of me, it was so much easier. And he was leading me in Canada.

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He says he wears snowshoes in Australia. When I was there, he was wearing sandals. And he

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even showed me that look behind, you're even making a deeper mark for the ones who come

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behind you. And then I was, I got into a bad negative thought about a situation and I fell

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into the snow bank, like off the track. Like that's not following Jesus. That's, that's

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not how you follow Jesus. And I got stuck and I had to phone my husband to pull me.

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It was so deep. I was stuck. And then I got back to the house and one of my devotions

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was how Jesus goes before us and on and on. And then it said the song was he leadeth me.

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And then my other devotion was he leads at the Psalm 23. He leads me by still waters.

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He leads me lead. And so it's like, yeah, don't, don't get off the track. Just go with

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let him go ahead and just follow. And if I once, yeah, just follow, follow him. I mean,

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make an easy track. It's easy when you follow what he wants.

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See that's so rich. That is so awesome. Oh my gosh. You should actually go live in sweet.

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I mean, taste and see freedom so that more people can hear that story. Oh, I could do that.

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Yeah. Because that's rocking me right now. Like the fact and the fact that had you not

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had someone to call, you know, call on me, right. If you had not had someone to call,

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what wait for spring? Like what, how, you know what I'm saying? And, and, oh gosh,

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what's the Solomon book? Ecclesiastes. Thank you, Lord. You know what it's like when one's alone

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and, and the entire difference when there's just two and a threefold court. Well, that's just,

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not easily broken. And, and how awesome that Brian wasn't off on some business trip or

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off at the store and could just come get his bride. You know, and Jesus is so like that.

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This is just so powerful. Thank you for sharing that Jill. That's genuinely the love of God.

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And, you know, that, that, that humility that just acknowledges, I, I don't understand. I

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don't even know where it's going to be safe or not, but these marks made already.

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You can tell they're successful. Those marks are successful. Nothing's happened to them.

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Oh my goodness. I love that. Okay. All right. I can share something too. I was running

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Facebook ads today and my subject is sensitive because, you know, I'm promoting God, you know,

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in public schools. And so sure enough, the ad was rejected, which is always my fear

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that Facebook, you know, I mean, they've harassed me for a while and I've had 12 incidents already.

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And so I'm like, Oh, and, you know, it was, it was a, it was, um,

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ad, steer towards mothers, you know, and it said it had a Bible

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verse on there. It says Jesus loves you. It's like, man of

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life, they shut that down, you know, so um, and I had some

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text. And so I was I was, yeah, frustrated. So I prayed about

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it. And and I said, Okay, fine. I'm gonna keep the graphic, but

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I will change some of my wording, I'll tone it down, you

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know. And, and, and then I placed the ad again, I just the

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new ad instead of messing with them, try they they told me I

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couldn't even ask for a review. And so then I did a new ad. And

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then then I said to my husband, you know, I need somebody to

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join me in prayer with so that God will give me supernatural

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favor. I just I really I need you to help me pray with us. And

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so he prayed. And when he prayed, and it was like, you

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know, maybe three minutes or so. He prayed, and God just told me,

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he said, God said, he just said it all, you really don't need to

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repeat, repeat any of it. You just need to say amen. And it's

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done. I'm like, well, fine with me. That's good. And that's what

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I did. And they haven't rejected the ad. In fact, it's in

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learning mode right now, which is great. So it just showed me

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the favor of God again, you know, it's just God did this

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God made it happen this time. And and, you know, let it sail

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through again. So it's, it's good to have God on your side.

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It's good to, I'm glad I didn't mess it up and pray into it

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more. Because, you know, I want my husband to feel good about

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this, too. And then God told me it's enough. So I'm usually the

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the one that's a little bit more compassionate, or more has a

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little more passion, put it that way. You know, but he did he he

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really, it was an amazing prayer. And so it was kind of

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cool that he got answered the prayer like that. And that it's

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it's working now. Yeah. Look at that, you know, blessed are the

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meek. Blessed are those that you know, just you just like, you

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just came down. You know, we're poor in spirit when we're like,

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Lord, what do you want me to do? Just kind of like a Jill story

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and your story going, you know, Lord, I can I can get all up in

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arms. I can ruffle my feathers, I can be all puffed up, I can.

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But now I'm the loser, right? I'm all upset. I'm all twisted

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inside and out. I'm losing peace, the person in Facebook,

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the automated, you know, whatever, blessed Facebook, and

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we need to just bless face, a lot of good has happened on

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Facebook. We've all met each other on Facebook, right? So

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bless Facebook, just, you know, and we can do that we have the

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power to bless Facebook and not get all, you know, twisted,

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they're just doing what they know to do. And so until they

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meet, until someone meets the love of God, like, we don't know

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him. So I love that. It's just like, husband, would you just

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pray? And the Lord's like, that's a prayer I can answer. I

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love it. Okay. Anyone else Jill, did you want to share?

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I'm good. Okay. I'm looking at time too. So I'm good.

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I'll look at the time. This is important. It's important when

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we share it's for it brings God glory. It brings community it

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brings like so if you don't have anything to share, that's okay.

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But it's okay. I appreciate that.

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I'll share at the end this time. Okay, cool. Excited jump last

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time. Okay. All right. So let me share my screen. And

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Oh, wait a second.

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So that I have to open up the slideshow. Sorry, guys.

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Okay, so I'll share my screen.

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Okay. I got to find out how I was able to have you all.

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Okay, anyway. All right.

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So here's just a, just again, just having a look at, you know, the different ways when we're sitting at Jesus's feet, we want to be connecting with that the reality of that posture.

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It's not just, we don't want this to be an ethereal, like, oh yeah, went into that sitting in Jesus's feet. Like, we really want to be postured in the pursuit of someone who like will just come, you know, like a holy storyteller at the library, you know,

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just the kids are just, or if you just tell a story at home, like the kids just like come, they just sit Indian style around you and they're so excited for the story.

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And so, the pursuit of him, the purity of being a feeling like I'm, I not only can but I'm desired there.

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I'm welcome, and I'm wanted as a child of God to just come and anticipate goodness at Jesus's feet, and have my heart and my mind, and my eyes and my ears wide open.

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And, and to be able to have the, the, the presence of mine to say, like David, you know, Lord, search me and know me.

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And I want to know, like, as much as I want to learn from you. I want to know is there anything in me that actually shuts down my ability to connect with you, my ability to learn from you, my ability to like you know this is why when we do a heart healing

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I will walk through a small portion of just that that one john one nine, you know, and, and if we confess our sins, he's righteous to forgive us our sins all he can give us is forgiveness and cleanse us from all unrighteousness because all he can give us is righteousness.

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And just having that presence of mind to say like, Lord, I don't need to defend myself, I don't need to protect myself. I don't need. Is there anything as I enter into this time to connect with you, Lord, is there anything you want to bring to the surface.

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That would hinder my connection with you.

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And just, you know, that's why a few times we take that moment, as we're heading into, into, and then into connection with him. And, and then just giving that to him fully freely.

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No shame involved, beating ourselves up, nothing. He is close to the broken hearted saves those who are crushed in spirit Lord I'm so sorry. And we'll see a little bit of that and Daniel today.

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And then to understand I come with a purpose. I, I come hungry.

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He's got the purpose.

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He has a purpose for me being there. I don't need to come with my own agenda my own purpose my own list my own. Your Heavenly Father knows what you need.

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We don't need to say well God knows I need this and God knows I need that and Lord you, you know like I just that is so standing out to me lately from, from, from, from Genesis.

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Hey, did God really say because you know God knows, I'm like, wow, that's the enemy's voice.

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But Jesus says your father knows therefore don't run after those things from him.

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Draw near her near to him. So as we sit at, at his feet we're positioned to surrender to submit to come under to learn of to be drawn into his purpose.

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I don't need to have a contest with that. So, that is.

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That is the purpose.

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This slide. Okay.

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So, just.

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Oh, you know what.

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Okay, let me just go up here for a minute.

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Give me a minute.

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Okay.

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so important headed into 5.6. I think we've been on here for two days, but I do want to pay

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incredible tribute to how God's brought us into his love through this verse. And just again,

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blessed, happy, blithesome, joyous, spiritually prosperous, with life, joy, and satisfaction

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in God's favor, like you were talking about Ingrid, and his salvation, like you were

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talking about Jill, regardless of my outward condition. When I focus on my outward condition,

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boom, I'm in a bank, help, I've fallen and I can't get up. You had to make that call today,

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right? Like I've fallen and I can't get up. That was you today. I don't know if you've ever heard

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that advertisement, but yes, you have. Okay. So, you know, are the meek, the mild, the patient.

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This has changed me the past few days. Like I went, I mean, I was about to grumble at my husband,

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probably half a dozen times. I mean, it wasn't that many. I just exaggerated, but I'm so aware

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of it now. Like, oh my gosh, that's so, that's like I'm expressing frustration. How prideful.

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I'm just, I just, that's not patient. It's not blessed. I'm not long suffering. I'm being

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demanding. That's disgusting because I'd rather inherit the earth than this moment that's making

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me so unhappy. And, and that, that, that was, you know, even mom just sharing your story, mom,

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just saying like, I know there's another way it's in my face, but I'm going to, there's another way

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and I'm going to find that other way. And of course, blessed, happy, fortunate. This is verse

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12 over here in prosperous and to be envied is he who waits expectantly and earnestly, who endures

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without wavering beyond the period of tribulation. And God brought us to that, to the depth of his

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love, being beginning with that characteristic, beginning with his meekness, his lowliness of heart

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to be patient with us, to be kind to us, not to smack us upside the head. Hilary, for goodness

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sake, how many times have we had this conversation? Like, oh my child, I got so much else to do.

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You know, like he's never met me that way. And yet how many times have I talked like that to my own family?

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Okay. Okay. Wait a second. Okay. And then, you know, just Paul begging us

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to make every effort to just really foster that spirit of unity. It's divisive. If I start

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accusing, if I start grumbling, if I'm entitled, if I'm impatient, there's no bond of unity. There's

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no making an effort to preserve the unity of the spirit in the binding power of shalom.

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There is one body alone. Okay. It's not me and all the people against me. It's not me

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and my husband who needs to get it right. Or my kids who just seem to always come when I'm

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in a session. Like, what are you doing? Opening my door? Like, no, it's we're all doing this thing

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together. And sometimes someone needs a scratch. Someone needs a bandage. Someone needs a hug. And

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we're just all in it together. We're all called to one hope. We all need each other. There's one

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Lord, one trust, one immersion, which is baptism, which is just complete saturation, so that there's

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no ability to separate the two. One God and Father of us all. Each one of us, however, has been given

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grace to be measured by Messiah's bounty. So not the lack of the world around me. Not my own lack.

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Not my, not my,

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not, not my, my judgment, not my

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my mistakes, but it's all about what he's done.

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It's not about what I've done.

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It's not about what someone else has done.

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It's not about who took.

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You know, if someone took something,

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well, that's just evidence I was given something

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and I can go stand in that which I was given.

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It's not about what's dead or destroyed.

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It's about, wow, if this is being destroyed,

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that means it was something that was built up.

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If this is being killed, that means it was made alive.

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And that's what I wanna come into agreement with.

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It's about God's bounty, not what's been taken.

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This is why it says, after he went up into the heights,

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he led captivity captive and he gave the gifts to men.

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So this is so amazingly beautiful a scripture

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to understand that like, we don't need to fight.

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We don't need to be provoked by the devil

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and fight one another and fight the evil and fight that.

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No, our, did God really say that you don't fight

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flesh and blood?

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I mean, go on, look what they did to you.

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Come on, you gotta fight.

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You gotta stand for yourself.

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You gotta, God knows that what they're saying is wrong.

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But what God's saying is actually right.

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It's what God's saying that's right.

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Just like that precious story, Jill.

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It's actually just what God, I don't need to go there.

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I just can stick right here.

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Say to the daughter of Zion,

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behold, your king is coming to you, humble.

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Your king, humble, mounted on a donkey, a colt.

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Would I feel foolish mounted on a donkey?

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Yet all the way down, he just kept going lower still

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so that there was no one beneath him

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that couldn't reach him.

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On a fall, a beast of burden.

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Isaiah 61, one, the spirit of God is upon me

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because the Lord has anointed me

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to bring good news to the poor.

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He sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

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to proclaim the liberty to the captives

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and the opening of prison doors to those who are bound.

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God serves, he just serves.

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He doesn't say to the poor, why are you poor?

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You know why you're poor?

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You're lazy, that's why you're poor.

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You're poor because you didn't make the right decisions.

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That's the law of sin and death, isn't it?

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Why are you brokenhearted?

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Can't you get over it?

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Like, didn't that happen in the past?

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Why are you captive?

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Why are you in prison?

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You know why?

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You didn't behave yourself.

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You didn't obey your parents.

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You didn't do your homework in school.

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Now you're a derelict, you made your bed sleeping it.

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Never, never the law of sin and death.

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The acceptable year of the Lord

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is to come and serve those who got trapped,

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who got stuck in the snowbank and can't get out, right?

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So it's just this meekness, the idea of meekness

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where the Lord is saying, learn of me.

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He's not saying learn about me, learn of me.

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This is who I am.

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This scripture is fulfilled today in your hearing, he said.

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With meekness, with humility, he comes to serve.

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At that time, Matthew 11, 25, at that time,

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Yeshua said, I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth,

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that you concealed these things from the sophisticated,

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the educated and revealed them to ordinary folks

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or as we know, to babes, right?

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Don't we, when we're full of pride,

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it's like, I am too good for this.

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Why do I have to endure this difficult situation?

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How long do I have to endure you?

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How long do I have to be in this situation

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with you small-minded people?

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We're talking about God. God could call me small-minded, petty, pathetic, like ignorant,

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unteachable, untrainable, uncultured. He could say that to me all day long and he'd be right.

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But he never does. He never does. Just like Mama was saying, like, he just sees him.

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He just sees who he is. My Father has handed over everything to me. Indeed, no one fully

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knows the Son except the Father, and no one fully knows the Father except the Son and those to whom

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the Son wishes to reveal him. That's why we were asking Jesus to bring us to the Father yesterday

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or two days ago, whichever. Come to me. Therefore, come to me, all of you who are struggling,

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trying to figure it out, trying to work it, make it work, trying to make it right.

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Those of you that are burdened, carrying the heavy weight of sins, of shame, of your hyper

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vigilance, and your perfectionism, of your humiliation, just come to me. I'll give you a

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rest. I never meant for you to carry those things. They're just too heavy for you. I didn't give you

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these people in your life so you could carry them. Take my yoke upon you. Come, let's yoke

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up together as one. You and I yoked together as one. This is Jesus. I am meek, gentle, humble,

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lowly in heart. There's no whip in my hand. There's no ruler in my hand. There's no measuring rod.

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There's no whipping stick. There's no report card. There's no lecture.

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You will find rest for your souls, for that spinning mind, that tormented will and desire,

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that disappointment that's so deep in your emotions. Come, come. My yoke is easy.

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My burden is light. You will find rest for your souls.

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So this idea of meekness, understanding, coming to know who God is as meek,

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and that just makes us all the more, I think, those who knew him, who had encounters with him,

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you know, Moses, Joshua, Isaiah, David, Daniel, you know, Paul, who was so puffed up,

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and Peter, and James, and just people that had these encounters, everything changed for them.

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These encounters with him, and in truth, to find that there are no,

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there are no hoops. There is no dog and pony show.

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There isn't, you know, there isn't some way you can fail, except if you just say no thanks. I'll

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go my own way. And so then you just so long for him, you so want his way. And so now, if somebody

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wants to read Matthew 5-6, this is what brings us to all the more like, how do I get close enough

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to actually experience and know this God who is meek and humble, the creator of all things,

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knower of all things? Does anyone want to read Matthew 5-6?

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I have it here.

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Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

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Yeah. Blessed, fortunate, you're fortunate when you're not puffed up, being all right.

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But you so long for what He says is the right thing to do.

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You're prospering.

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You're in a state of someone born again, enjoying favor and salvation,

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when you hunger and thirst for righteousness.

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For what's upright in God's eyes?

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What is right standing before you, crying out for that?

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For they shall be completely satisfied.

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You will be filled.

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I mean, I'm hungry a lot.

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I like trying to satisfy my hunger.

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I'm like, this is actually what I want.

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Right here.

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All right.

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Can you guys see this?

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Daniel 12.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Does somebody want to read that?

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It's seven, eight, and then 17 through 19, and then 23,

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because I can't fit a whole lot.

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But just look at his position for the hunger of righteousness.

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And before I just say that, here in Daniel 4, Nebuchadnezzar,

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Daniel was known for his hunger for righteousness.

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And Nebuchadnezzar, who was recognizing,

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he's telling this story about how he was at rest in his house,

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in his palace.

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And he's saying, you know,

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then I had this dream and no one else could make heads or tails of it.

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But at last Daniel came in before me.

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He has been named Belteshazzar after the name of my God.

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And he says, I know the spirit of the Holy God.

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But the spirit of the Holy God.

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Lives in him.

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And I.

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And I told the dream before him saying,

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Oh, Beltish is our chief of the magicians.

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Because I know the spirit of the Holy God is in you.

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And no secret mystery is a burden.

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Or a trouble for you.

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And.

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He says, well,

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it's a burden because I'm not a saint.

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But I know the spirit of the Holy God is in me.

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And I know the spirit of the Holy God is in me.

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And I know the spirit of the Holy God is in my heart.

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And I know the spirit of the Holy God is in this room.

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And I know the spirit of the Holy God is in the scene and the

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interpretation of it.

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And then he, he relays it to him.

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So he had this reputation.

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For, for, for being in touch with.

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A God that was holier than, than anyone else lived or witnessed.

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Okay. All right, go ahead.

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I'll read it.

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Oh Lord, to us belong confusion and shame of face.

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As at this day.

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To the men of Judah,

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to the inhabitants of Jerusalem and all Israel to those who are near

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and those who are far off.

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Through all the countries to which you have driven them because of the

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treacherous trespasses, which they have committed against you.

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Oh Lord, to us belong confusion and shame of face, to our Kings.

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Shame of face to our Kings, to our princes and to our fathers,

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to those who are far off.

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Oh Lord, to us belong confusion and shame of face.

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Oh Lord, to us belong confusion and shame of face.

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Listen to and heed the prayer of your servant,

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Daniel and his supplications.

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And for your own sake,

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cause your face to shine upon your sanctuary, which is desolate.

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Oh my God, incline your ear and here,

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open your eyes and look at our desolations and the city,

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which is called by your name.

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For we do not present our supplications before you for our own

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righteousness and justice, but for your great mercy.

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Oh Lord,

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to us belong confusion and shame of face.

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Oh Lord, to us belong confusion and shame of face.

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Listen to and heed and act.

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Do not delay for your own sake. Oh my God,

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because your city and your people are called by your name.

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At the beginning of your prayers, the word giving an answer.

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Oh, this was when Gabriel showed up. Sorry about that.

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I should have it in quotes. Go ahead.

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At the beginning of your prayers. Oh, Gabriel speaking.

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I think beginning of your prayers.

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Should I do it in voices at the beginning of your.

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At the beginning of your prayers, the word giving an answer went forth.

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And I've come to tell you for you are greatly beloved.

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Therefore consider the matter and understand the vision.

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Okay. So, you know, this is a long portion of scripture.

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Where Daniel who has been serving for decades.

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This pagan.

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You know, one pagan regime and, and monarch after another.

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And.

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And here he is. He's he's in the scriptures. He prays.

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Three times a day toward Jerusalem.

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He's in the scriptures. He's he studies constantly.

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He has this reputation among kings of empires, the most massive, the one who carries more power

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on earth than anyone on the face of the earth at the time, is honoring Daniel because of his stand

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of righteousness to this God that's holier than anybody can can imagine, because he's hungered

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and thirsted for that righteousness, and that Daniel is like, oh, he takes no righteousness

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of himself, even though he has been exalted by kings for his righteous stand in matters,

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and he takes none of it to himself. Righteousness belongs to you. To us belong

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all these things we deserve because we rebel in thought, we rebel in word, we rebel in deed,

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and you can just hear the anguish, and there, as I said, there are several verses this goes on,

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but then he cries out, listen, for your name's sake, for your righteousness' sake,

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that the city with your name, the temple with your name, might be restored so that your reputation,

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we cared nothing for your reputation, we cared about ourselves,

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but Lord, so that your reputation can be exalted, I cry, forgive us, do not delay,

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let your people be restored so that you may have what you deserve, that's hunger and thirst.

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And God starts this, you know, God gives him this, like, it goes on for chapters, these

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revelations of, you know, the end times with such specific detail that it shows up

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all those hundreds of years later in the writings of, well, Jesus quotes him,

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and then it shows up also in the revelation of John. Okay, so let's read these, Isaiah 55,

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one through three, we could just go ahead and just, you know, fire these off, and feel free

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to, like, if you feel like you're seeing something, feel free to just share, like, wow, okay.

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I'm everyone who thirsts, come to the waters, and he who has no money, come, buy and eat,

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come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which

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is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me and eat what

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is good and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear and come to me, hear that your

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soul may live, and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast sure love for

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David. It's all good news. It's just all good. If you're hungry and thirsty, I'm ready for you.

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I made you to hunger and thirst. Come, come, don't chase after that. Come, let me feed and fill you.

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Okay, go ahead.

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Again? Myself or someone else? Yeah, no, go ahead. Go ahead, Jill. That's fine.

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For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

426
00:43:49.040 --> 00:43:54.560
With good things! With good things, we're not going to be sent away. We're not going to be

427
00:43:54.560 --> 00:44:00.400
disappointed. We're not going to be told, well, I'm sorry, we ran out four people ago. Or, you

428
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:06.960
know what? I saw what you did yesterday. Here, have a crumb. You better be thankful for it. Never!

429
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:13.600
No! He fills, he fills. When we come to him and say, I'm hungry, when we don't come full,

430
00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:24.640
you know, full of ourselves, full of our complaints, right? Full of whatever. Like, just hungry, empty.

431
00:44:25.520 --> 00:44:28.240
Okay, all right. John 6, 48 through 58.

432
00:44:29.600 --> 00:44:36.880
I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the

433
00:44:36.880 --> 00:44:43.600
bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread

434
00:44:43.600 --> 00:44:50.560
that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread

435
00:44:51.120 --> 00:44:57.520
that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh. The Jews then disputed among themselves,

436
00:44:57.520 --> 00:44:59.920
saying, how can this man give us his flesh?

437
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:11.680
He gives us Himself. He gives us Himself. When people come to us

438
00:45:11.680 --> 00:45:15.320
because they need, we're like, oh, here, here, here, go take

439
00:45:15.320 --> 00:45:21.200
some of that and go, come on, I'm in a meeting. He gives

440
00:45:21.200 --> 00:45:30.600
Himself. For God so loved, He gave Himself. His best is Jesus.

441
00:45:31.120 --> 00:45:36.440
Okay, Mom, go ahead with Luke 153. He has filled the hungry

442
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:41.520
with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty.

443
00:45:41.960 --> 00:45:49.240
They're full. They're all set. I'm good. I'm good. Like, no,

444
00:45:49.240 --> 00:45:51.840
I'm all set. Don't need anything. You go ahead if you

445
00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:59.040
need. He's like, a physician can only heal those who are sick,

446
00:45:59.040 --> 00:46:02.680
and I can only give you sight if you're blind. But if you say

447
00:46:02.680 --> 00:46:10.080
you see, what can I give you? You'll receive nothing. So only

448
00:46:10.080 --> 00:46:14.680
if we're just so desperate, that we'll just let Him, we'll give

449
00:46:14.680 --> 00:46:18.760
Him everything that's in our hands. Everything that's in our

450
00:46:18.760 --> 00:46:21.920
mind. We'll empty our souls, so that He can give rest to our

451
00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:27.440
souls. And He can carry what's so heavy for us. We're yoked

452
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:32.000
together as one. It's not like we're opening a door and

453
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:37.560
throwing it outside and hoping something happens to it. Or we

454
00:46:37.560 --> 00:46:40.920
better go get it because who's going to? We're actually handing

455
00:46:40.920 --> 00:46:44.400
it to Him. He's yoked together with us. He's never left us. He

456
00:46:44.400 --> 00:46:46.920
takes care of it. He's reconciled everything. He knows

457
00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:56.440
what to do. It's not lost. It's just not ours. Okay, all right.

458
00:46:56.720 --> 00:46:59.120
Last column. Who wants that one?

459
00:47:00.520 --> 00:47:05.960
A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. Oh God,

460
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:14.360
you are my God. Earnestly I seek you. My soul thirsts for you. My

461
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:18.680
flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there

462
00:47:18.680 --> 00:47:23.120
is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

463
00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:25.720
beholding your power in glory.

464
00:47:26.400 --> 00:47:42.720
So this like, he's desperate. My soul thirsts. You know, when

465
00:47:42.720 --> 00:47:48.520
you're so thirsty for water, it's like a deer pants for the

466
00:47:48.520 --> 00:48:00.200
water, right? I've got to have you. I've got to have you. I've

467
00:48:00.200 --> 00:48:09.000
got to know you. I'm in the desert. I've got to find you.

468
00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:12.960
I've got to find the oasis, the flower. I've got to find the

469
00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:19.720
life here. And there's this desperation that pursues past

470
00:48:20.240 --> 00:48:26.480
all of the dryness, pursues past all of the hunger, knowing that

471
00:48:26.880 --> 00:48:29.560
he rewards those who diligently seek him.

472
00:48:29.560 --> 00:48:39.080
Okay, John 414. But whoever drinks the water that I will

473
00:48:39.080 --> 00:48:43.920
give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will

474
00:48:43.960 --> 00:48:48.880
give him will become become in him a spring of water, welling

475
00:48:48.880 --> 00:48:50.720
up to eternal life.

476
00:48:51.400 --> 00:48:57.560
Welling up to eternal life. So what I give you, man, not only

477
00:48:57.960 --> 00:49:00.080
is it going to quench your thirst, not only will you be

478
00:49:00.080 --> 00:49:08.240
satisfied right now, I've given you an eternal spring. And

479
00:49:08.240 --> 00:49:12.360
things just get better. And so they shall. And so that's what

480
00:49:12.360 --> 00:49:16.120
we begin like, okay, this is why we feed on the truth. And we

481
00:49:16.120 --> 00:49:22.120
feast on the truth. Like I'm, I'm desperate for this news. I'm

482
00:49:22.120 --> 00:49:25.920
desperate to replace the way that I think the way that I

483
00:49:25.920 --> 00:49:30.120
speak the way that I relate the, the perspective that I

484
00:49:30.120 --> 00:49:34.960
have with with his perspective. And not just in terms of a

485
00:49:34.960 --> 00:49:39.280
roadmap. This is so important. As Jill, you were sharing, God

486
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:43.200
didn't give you a roadmap or he didn't say, Jill, you know,

487
00:49:43.200 --> 00:49:50.840
follow the map. No, follow me. Follow me. This. I'm with you.

488
00:49:50.840 --> 00:49:57.080
Before you I'm behind you. I've gone ahead. I'm enough for you.

489
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:17.440
Lord, you are enough for us. And yet there are places in our lives where we feel dissatisfied,

490
00:50:17.440 --> 00:50:43.000
where we feel dry, disappointed. Lord, would you help us to give you those things that

491
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:56.840
cause us to labor and struggle and be heavy, heavy laden. Would you help us with your own

492
00:50:56.840 --> 00:51:04.320
hands, with your own power, release those things to you that you've already paid for

493
00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:17.560
on the cross that you say are yours and not ours, even every pain and every problem, that

494
00:51:17.560 --> 00:51:37.040
we would see that we're yoked together and that this is your part. Thank you, Lord, all

495
00:51:37.040 --> 00:52:00.080
the shame, all the pride, all the frustration, all the fear, all the doubt, all of the memories,

496
00:52:00.080 --> 00:52:17.120
even in our body. And I want to say body, body, this is for you too. This is for every part of

497
00:52:17.120 --> 00:52:33.360
our heart and our mind, our emotions, our guardian parts, our protective parts, our getter all done

498
00:52:33.360 --> 00:52:44.320
parts. This is for you too, body. All the places you've been carrying pain or weight or rejection,

499
00:52:44.320 --> 00:53:09.320
in all the systems and organs, in the muscles. Lord, everything you're revealing, everything. We

500
00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:18.960
just say thank you for revealing these things that you can see from today, from forever ago,

501
00:53:18.960 --> 00:53:30.440
just everything that you're wanting us to finally release into your hands. Lord, show us what it

502
00:53:30.440 --> 00:53:43.520
looks like to be yoked together with you, the one who was bruised for all the iniquity, the one who

503
00:53:43.520 --> 00:53:57.160
served to the uttermost, the one who took all the beatings, took all the stripes, took all the wounds,

504
00:53:57.160 --> 00:54:20.320
so that by your stripes, we could make this exchange where you purchased it all. Help us to

505
00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:39.400
see all that just being lifted, lifted, flowing to you, Lord. Lord, would you take the pain of those

506
00:54:39.400 --> 00:54:47.320
things and the shame of those things, the identification of us, the attachments in our hearts

507
00:54:47.360 --> 00:54:57.400
that have believed that that's us and it's for us. Would you also undo that? And would you, Lord,

508
00:54:57.400 --> 00:55:00.000
just silence all the

509
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:13.200
voices, silence all the voices that would try to harass us here, that would plague us,

510
00:55:13.200 --> 00:55:23.040
that would… Any voice that's not yours, that's not meek and lowly and inviting and

511
00:55:23.040 --> 00:55:36.320
comforting and filling, loving, we just say the Lord rebuke you. Thank you for your blood, Lord.

512
00:55:37.920 --> 00:55:43.360
All this is yours, even all our parts that need to be healed,

513
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:50.240
even all our family members that need to be healed.

514
00:55:53.680 --> 00:55:58.400
Everything, Lord, everything that's a burden,

515
00:55:59.920 --> 00:56:04.080
we're yoked together with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

516
00:56:07.680 --> 00:56:12.400
We're not alone. These things have come against you.

517
00:56:14.640 --> 00:56:19.200
We're your expression. We're your business.

518
00:56:19.200 --> 00:56:31.280
We just can face you and worship you. The enemy has to face you. We can be humble before you.

519
00:56:36.240 --> 00:56:42.800
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for all this flowing. Thank you, Lord.

520
00:56:42.800 --> 00:56:51.680
Thank you. We just want to say thank you for everything we get to give you.

521
00:56:52.560 --> 00:57:00.000
Thank you that that's not mine. Thank you that's not mine. Lord, thank you. Thank you that I get

522
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:05.360
to bring this to you. I get to entrust this to you. I don't know what it'll be like not worrying

523
00:57:05.360 --> 00:57:12.320
about that, not carrying that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

524
00:57:14.960 --> 00:57:22.320
Oh, thank you for showing me that too, Lord. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I can give you that too.

525
00:57:22.480 --> 00:57:33.680
Thank you. Lord, thank you. Thank you. Every fear, every pain, every worry, every regret,

526
00:57:34.880 --> 00:57:44.560
all abuse, all abandonment, just flowing, just flowing, just flowing to you. You've paid for it

527
00:57:44.560 --> 00:57:52.800
all. I don't need to hold on to it anymore. I don't need to believe it anymore. Thank you, Lord.

528
00:57:55.920 --> 00:57:58.080
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

529
00:58:01.040 --> 00:58:09.120
Thank you, Jesus. Lord, would you show us what it's like for you to receive all this?

530
00:58:09.120 --> 00:58:19.360
Would you show us what it looks like for you to receive all this from us?

531
00:59:09.120 --> 00:59:27.360
Lord, what do you want me to know?

532
00:59:39.120 --> 00:59:59.360
Hallelujah. Lord, what would you like?

533
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:20.000
For me, to have on my side of our being yoked together, what's my part?

534
01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:40.000
For me, to have on my side of our being yoked together, what's my part?

535
01:00:50.000 --> 01:01:10.000
For me, to have on my side of our being yoked together, what's my part?

536
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:38.440
Lord, what does rest look like?

537
01:01:38.440 --> 01:01:58.440
Can you give us rest in our souls?

538
01:02:08.440 --> 01:02:36.440
For me, to have on my side of our being yoked together, what's my part?

539
01:02:36.440 --> 01:02:51.440
Lord, is this a place I can stay always?

540
01:03:06.440 --> 01:03:26.440
I say yes. I say yes, Lord. I say amen. I say yes. I say yes.

541
01:03:27.440 --> 01:03:38.440
Be glorified. Thank you for the rest of accomplishing your righteousness for us.

542
01:03:38.440 --> 01:03:48.440
It is finished. You are worthy of it all. In Jesus' name, amen.

543
01:03:56.440 --> 01:04:24.440
How did he open prison doors for you? Open blind eyes for you? Relieve your burdens?

544
01:04:24.440 --> 01:04:35.440
Fill you with good.

545
01:04:35.440 --> 01:04:44.440
Well, I'll share the question. What does it look like for you to receive all of this?

546
01:04:44.440 --> 01:04:50.440
Well, first I, as we first started, he gave me the picture of a yoke.

547
01:04:50.440 --> 01:04:59.440
So I started drawing what a yoke looks like. And he said, you were not made.

548
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:10.800
to carry this burden alone, you weren't, I didn't make you to carry the burden, that's

549
01:05:10.800 --> 01:05:24.600
the enemy's work here. And I can, I carry it, for us to walk alongside of this, it's

550
01:05:24.600 --> 01:05:29.120
I can carry this. So then you ask the question, what does it look like for him to receive

551
01:05:29.120 --> 01:05:34.000
this? And he reminded me of a session we'd had before, I think it was with you, Hilary,

552
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:41.280
I'm trying to remember, but I had given him a backpack filled with these weights, this

553
01:05:41.280 --> 01:05:50.680
burden. And as soon as he took it from me, it, it changed into this little basket with

554
01:05:50.680 --> 01:05:56.560
just some notepaper in it. And like just little bitty slips of paper and just this little

555
01:05:56.560 --> 01:06:02.640
flimsy little basket. And he said, this is not because I'm diminishing the importance,

556
01:06:02.640 --> 01:06:08.120
but I want you to see what this weight is for me. This weight for you is this heavy

557
01:06:08.120 --> 01:06:13.920
backpack for me, it's this. So he reminded me of that. And then he said, it's kind of

558
01:06:13.920 --> 01:06:22.960
like Thor's hammer, Jill. I lift it with ease. And for you, like you, you toil to try to

559
01:06:22.960 --> 01:06:33.320
even get it off the ground. Now, I happen to like Marvel movies. So that spoke to me.

560
01:06:33.320 --> 01:06:44.680
Then you said, what's, what's my part? I asked him, what's my part? And he gave me this,

561
01:06:44.680 --> 01:06:53.840
this picture again of us. And this yoke together said, step with me daily, ready to step in

562
01:06:53.840 --> 01:07:04.760
the direction I lead. And just always be with me. It's, I'm not leaving. I, you don't leave.

563
01:07:04.760 --> 01:07:14.320
Just stay hitched, stay together. And then what does rest look like? A conversation over

564
01:07:14.320 --> 01:07:22.000
a feast, celebration of the day's progress, delighting in the embrace of his arms. Then

565
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:28.480
when he said, can I stay there? He said, yeah, we can feast on conversation as we till soil.

566
01:07:28.480 --> 01:07:37.680
We can enjoy delicious food as we plant seeds. And we can celebrate together what was planted

567
01:07:37.680 --> 01:07:47.800
in the harvest. So there was this rest can be as we work together. It's not, it wasn't

568
01:07:47.800 --> 01:08:01.000
a toil kind of work. It was a pleasure, a pleasure. And I like a good feast and celebration.

569
01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:06.640
I don't do enough celebrating. So I think he threw that in because that needs to be

570
01:08:06.640 --> 01:08:22.720
part of it. That's what, this, this, this whole, I mean, I came tonight, I almost didn't

571
01:08:22.720 --> 01:08:25.640
come tonight because I was at a really rough spot right before we started. And I'm like,

572
01:08:25.640 --> 01:08:31.240
I don't want to bring everybody down, but I know I need to be there. So I felt myself

573
01:08:31.240 --> 01:08:38.680
like holding back a bit. I could feel all the guardians like surround the camp, not

574
01:08:38.680 --> 01:08:48.520
wanting to break down. So even this time was very, with him was, he just was a little more

575
01:08:48.520 --> 01:08:54.560
matter of fact, he didn't necessarily dig or pry or try to storm the gates of my guardian.

576
01:08:54.560 --> 01:09:02.080
He just reminded me of the things that we've talked about before very gently and just said,

577
01:09:02.080 --> 01:09:17.840
just keep showing up with me. And, and I cried anyway. So I guess, I guess I love that. So

578
01:09:17.840 --> 01:09:26.240
love this interaction of yours with him. And he doesn't, he doesn't come for a fight.

579
01:09:27.760 --> 01:09:30.880
He doesn't come to prove anything, persuade.

580
01:09:33.439 --> 01:09:42.399
This invites in this, this summary for me that work is a pleasure. And celebration is a feast.

581
01:09:42.800 --> 01:09:52.000
So when I'm, when I'm about his business with him, I get to do all that I do with him and unto him

582
01:09:52.000 --> 01:09:58.320
knowing that he's going to make it fruitful because I'm doing it in awareness with him.

583
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.760
And that when I'm grateful, when I express gratitude for how he

584
01:10:03.760 --> 01:10:06.800
can bring his kingdom, how he can make this his opportunity,

585
01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:11.520
how he can work it all together for good. And I'm celebrating

586
01:10:11.520 --> 01:10:12.400
with him.

587
01:10:20.400 --> 01:10:24.200
That's awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that. That

588
01:10:24.200 --> 01:10:31.400
means a lot to me too. Oh, that's awesome. And that he is

589
01:10:31.400 --> 01:10:37.760
saying that, that all your work is fruitful. And doesn't that

590
01:10:37.760 --> 01:10:41.920
doesn't someone say that and everything he puts his hand to

591
01:10:42.240 --> 01:10:49.400
prospers. That man who delights himself in the Lord, who loves

592
01:10:49.400 --> 01:10:53.840
his word, feast on his word, just is rooted and grounded in

593
01:10:53.840 --> 01:11:01.840
him. All sorts of bad stuff happens. But he's just abiding.

594
01:11:02.520 --> 01:11:07.800
He's, he's rooted. He's, he's immovable. And everything he

595
01:11:07.800 --> 01:11:13.560
does prospers. That's what God does. God can do that. Ah,

596
01:11:13.920 --> 01:11:14.960
anyone else?

597
01:11:19.400 --> 01:11:31.400
Um, when I I, I gave, I gave the Lord, my ministry, because

598
01:11:31.400 --> 01:11:35.960
that's always on my heart. And that's, you know, it's never

599
01:11:35.960 --> 01:11:41.760
going exactly the way I want it to go. And it's a lot of

600
01:11:41.760 --> 01:11:44.760
pressure, you know, I'm getting older, and I want to get stuff

601
01:11:44.760 --> 01:11:51.360
done. And who knows how many years I have left. And, you

602
01:11:51.360 --> 01:11:54.000
know, I'm not at a stage in a life where I could say, I could

603
01:11:54.000 --> 01:12:02.000
still dream a whole lot. And so, you know, I either get stuff

604
01:12:02.120 --> 01:12:08.760
done now, or I won't get it done. And so I feel pressure

605
01:12:08.760 --> 01:12:20.440
sometimes. And so the Lord told me to just give him, give him

606
01:12:20.440 --> 01:12:24.720
all that things. And he told me that I'm not really responsible

607
01:12:24.720 --> 01:12:32.200
for the results. As long as I listen to him and take step by

608
01:12:32.200 --> 01:12:38.600
step. And just do what he says. That's really all I am

609
01:12:38.600 --> 01:12:45.760
responsible for. And if there are no results, then that's not

610
01:12:45.760 --> 01:12:53.280
my fault. That's, that's on him. That's kind of freeing for me a

611
01:12:53.280 --> 01:13:01.920
little bit, you know. And so, yeah, it feels good. And, and

612
01:13:01.960 --> 01:13:08.240
that, that he will just show me step by step. And all I need to

613
01:13:08.240 --> 01:13:12.320
do is, because I am my workday. I work from morning until night,

614
01:13:12.320 --> 01:13:16.680
you know, I'm, I'm not done after this, you know, I keep

615
01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:25.800
working. I just work. And that's what I do. And, and so I know,

616
01:13:25.840 --> 01:13:30.720
if I, if I don't feel responsible for results, I'll

617
01:13:30.720 --> 01:13:34.720
still work. Because also, you know, it's like what you said,

618
01:13:34.720 --> 01:13:42.040
Hillary. You know, it's a feast for me. I am. I, I now finally

619
01:13:42.040 --> 01:13:48.320
am at the point where I enjoy it. There were there were years

620
01:13:48.320 --> 01:13:54.160
where I had to force myself. But as of maybe a year ago, not

621
01:13:54.160 --> 01:13:57.760
quite a year ago, I realized that every hour I give to the

622
01:13:57.760 --> 01:14:04.840
Lord is a gift. You know, it's something I can do for him. And

623
01:14:04.840 --> 01:14:09.200
now that I look at it that way, I feel I like to do it now

624
01:14:09.200 --> 01:14:16.880
actually, finally. So but I am all at the same time very glad

625
01:14:16.880 --> 01:14:21.760
to give the responsibility and the pressure back to him, which

626
01:14:21.760 --> 01:14:25.480
I have done tonight, and hopefully it stays there. Yes,

627
01:14:25.520 --> 01:14:29.000
it's a matter of let him show me that that was, um, that was

628
01:14:29.000 --> 01:14:32.360
kind of where I got stuck to is like, how do I stay here? And

629
01:14:32.360 --> 01:14:35.920
that's where things got muddied. And I'm like, how do I get

630
01:14:35.920 --> 01:14:40.880
outside that that that neat rest? And he was like, what say

631
01:14:40.880 --> 01:14:46.080
you? I'm like, amen. I say yes, yes, I can stay here. I can live

632
01:14:46.080 --> 01:14:51.040
here. This. This is the truth. You are the truth. And you know,

633
01:14:51.040 --> 01:14:57.960
Ingrid, when I was feeling like, like, oh, gosh, I missed it. I

634
01:14:57.960 --> 01:15:00.160
missed, you know, my opportunity.

635
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.840
need to be productive. I missed it. And he said, Hillary, what

636
01:15:04.840 --> 01:15:10.240
do you what are you gonna do with with Joshua and Caleb? What

637
01:15:10.240 --> 01:15:14.480
are you gonna do with with Moses? What about Abraham? What

638
01:15:14.480 --> 01:15:17.280
are you what are you gonna do with Abraham? Now, if you've

639
01:15:17.280 --> 01:15:22.760
missed it? What are you gonna do with Noah, Hillary? Like 500

640
01:15:22.760 --> 01:15:28.320
years old, you know? What are you gonna do with him? And then

641
01:15:28.320 --> 01:15:34.520
that, that time where I was headed to my friend's birthday

642
01:15:34.520 --> 01:15:38.600
party, I was, I said, Lord, what do you want me to get Kim? And

643
01:15:38.600 --> 01:15:43.600
he said, I want you to paint a sunset. And so he had me paint

644
01:15:43.600 --> 01:15:47.520
a sunset. I loved it. I didn't want to give it away. It was

645
01:15:47.520 --> 01:15:54.040
all peach and purple over the water was beautiful. And so I

646
01:15:54.040 --> 01:15:57.480
brought it to her. She was all dressed in purple. I was all

647
01:15:57.480 --> 01:16:08.440
dressed in purple. We're at her birthday party. And and so I, I

648
01:16:08.440 --> 01:16:12.920
pull it out. And she said purple, my favorite color. I

649
01:16:12.920 --> 01:16:16.320
said, Well, the Lord told me to paint this for you. And she

650
01:16:16.320 --> 01:16:18.600
said, Oh, it's lovely. Thank you. And I said, Well, let me

651
01:16:18.600 --> 01:16:23.680
tell you what he said. He said, because I asked him, what do you

652
01:16:23.680 --> 01:16:26.600
want me to tell? What do you want me to tell her? Lord? Was

653
01:16:26.600 --> 01:16:33.320
this mean? So I said, I said, the Lord said, tell Kimberly,

654
01:16:34.000 --> 01:16:38.360
that I can paint whatever I want on the canvas of the sky. I can

655
01:16:38.360 --> 01:16:43.760
paint whatever I want on the canvas of your life. And she was

656
01:16:43.760 --> 01:16:51.520
just like, I said, What is he saying to you? And she said, I

657
01:16:51.520 --> 01:16:56.600
was wondering if it was too late for me, if I'd missed it.

658
01:16:58.120 --> 01:17:02.320
So, Ingrid, I just think you're just getting started. That's

659
01:17:02.320 --> 01:17:06.520
what I think. I think we're headed into our finest seasons.

660
01:17:06.800 --> 01:17:11.560
We've had root systems all these years and all these and, and,

661
01:17:12.000 --> 01:17:16.320
you know, like, Mom, how old was Grandma Moses like 90 or

662
01:17:16.320 --> 01:17:20.200
something like? Oh, you're muted on your muted mama.

663
01:17:22.000 --> 01:17:27.280
He, I believe was my age. She was 79 or 80. I mean, I'm at 80.

664
01:17:27.280 --> 01:17:33.800
Now, I remember thinking, last year, oh, I could still, I can

665
01:17:33.800 --> 01:17:34.640
still paint.

666
01:17:35.640 --> 01:17:39.600
You could do whatever. That's the thing. I think that we're

667
01:17:39.600 --> 01:17:43.480
finally coming into that strike, or even just today, where he

668
01:17:43.480 --> 01:17:48.160
brought us into this place where it's like, could I relieve you

669
01:17:49.080 --> 01:17:53.400
of all that? Like, I have to tell you guys something. This

670
01:17:53.400 --> 01:18:00.280
scripture brought me to my knees after six months of like

671
01:18:00.280 --> 01:18:03.920
fighting and contending and researching and interviewing

672
01:18:03.920 --> 01:18:08.800
people and, and struggling over the word. It was this scripture

673
01:18:10.280 --> 01:18:14.760
that brought me to my knees in my bedroom. When I realized this

674
01:18:14.760 --> 01:18:19.720
is no ogre God King, smacking me upside the head, telling me

675
01:18:19.720 --> 01:18:25.840
I've missed it. I don't even know how to love him. And this

676
01:18:25.840 --> 01:18:29.800
is a tenderness I've never encountered in my life. And I,

677
01:18:30.040 --> 01:18:33.520
I just fell to my knees and said, You are Lord, I don't even

678
01:18:33.520 --> 01:18:38.320
know what it meant. But it was this scripture. And lately, he's

679
01:18:38.320 --> 01:18:42.080
been bringing this to my mind, even as we consider it today,

680
01:18:42.080 --> 01:18:48.160
reminding me like, if I brought you to me in this verse, did you

681
01:18:48.160 --> 01:18:53.240
think that I might have thought it was important for you? I'm

682
01:18:53.240 --> 01:18:57.400
still trying to figure this one out. And he's like,

683
01:18:59.640 --> 01:19:02.440
what, what's the verse Hillary? What's the verse?

684
01:19:02.720 --> 01:19:09.560
Matthew 28, through 30. Come to me, all you who are who labor

685
01:19:09.560 --> 01:19:16.680
and are heavy laden. And I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon

686
01:19:16.680 --> 01:19:22.800
you and learn of me for I am meek and lowly of heart. And you

687
01:19:22.800 --> 01:19:28.520
will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy. And my

688
01:19:28.520 --> 01:19:37.680
burden is light. And I'm still I'm, I'm, I'm still having my

689
01:19:37.680 --> 01:19:44.800
eyes peeled open on this one. And so what he said to me, what

690
01:19:44.800 --> 01:19:48.640
he said to me one time, the same thing he said to you, he said, I

691
01:19:48.640 --> 01:19:51.120
didn't make you to carry your family, they're too heavy for

692
01:19:51.120 --> 01:19:55.800
you. Put them down. I was all hunched over murmuring, like, I

693
01:19:55.800 --> 01:20:00.000
had this like open vision kind of thing. And, and I was

694
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.680
just, you know, pacing back and forth on the shore. And he said,

695
01:20:05.680 --> 01:20:09.240
put them down and come out into the deep. That's where you need

696
01:20:09.240 --> 01:20:11.080
to be. That's where they need you to be.

697
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:13.320
Love to have heard that.

698
01:20:15.440 --> 01:20:20.960
It's still working. Yeah. But it's so good. He's right here

699
01:20:20.960 --> 01:20:21.600
saying,

700
01:20:22.320 --> 01:20:27.360
No, I mean, when I was 20 or 30 something and lying on the

701
01:20:27.360 --> 01:20:31.160
kitchen floor saying, How did I think I could do this? Okay, I

702
01:20:31.160 --> 01:20:32.120
think I was.

703
01:20:33.240 --> 01:20:40.400
Yeah, well, we find out we can't. Right. But, but when we

704
01:20:40.400 --> 01:20:43.800
come to that place, Mama, I mean, look what he's done. When

705
01:20:43.800 --> 01:20:50.160
because you came to that place. He could meet you there. It

706
01:20:50.160 --> 01:20:54.280
wasn't you, you know, as if you felt like,

707
01:20:54.400 --> 01:20:56.200
and that was before Ian was born.

708
01:20:58.480 --> 01:21:03.280
If you like, oh, I got this down. I mean, I actually felt

709
01:21:03.280 --> 01:21:06.080
like that. I felt like that with Jeremiah. He was just so

710
01:21:06.520 --> 01:21:10.960
outwardly, you know, brilliant as a toddler and just knew all

711
01:21:10.960 --> 01:21:14.800
these things. I'm like, I'm really good at this. And then

712
01:21:14.800 --> 01:21:19.880
Caleb came. Like, it doesn't mean that he's not brilliant.

713
01:21:19.920 --> 01:21:24.960
Oh, no, it's just he's so different. And so challenging.

714
01:21:25.840 --> 01:21:29.680
Well, talking about that little boy. He's up in the trees.

715
01:21:30.280 --> 01:21:35.200
Yes. And I'm just trying to like, teach him numbers and

716
01:21:35.360 --> 01:21:38.160
teach him history and teach him and he's like,

717
01:21:39.720 --> 01:21:43.320
like, oh, I mean, you know, where's Caleb? Where's Caleb?

718
01:21:43.520 --> 01:21:48.000
Where's Caleb? So anyway, yeah, he's climbing on houses. He's

719
01:21:48.000 --> 01:21:52.760
climbing. Like he's building, he's carving things. People in

720
01:21:52.760 --> 01:21:55.240
the neighborhood are like, you can never come in my car, my

721
01:21:55.240 --> 01:21:58.920
yard again. You you're because he was thinking he could hunt

722
01:21:58.920 --> 01:21:59.840
the birds that were

723
01:22:09.160 --> 01:22:10.280
Give me that mountain.

724
01:22:11.280 --> 01:22:16.320
swords he made and he's got like armored belts and like cowboy

725
01:22:16.320 --> 01:22:20.120
boots and hopefully some pants on like a cape because

726
01:22:20.120 --> 01:22:20.960
everywhere he went

727
01:22:25.200 --> 01:22:30.080
I'm like, okay, this has nothing to do with me. This is like, not

728
01:22:30.080 --> 01:22:30.840
at all.

729
01:22:36.720 --> 01:22:41.040
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness.

730
01:22:43.320 --> 01:22:44.560
That was last year, right?

731
01:22:47.320 --> 01:22:48.640
Oh,

732
01:22:49.560 --> 01:22:55.760
miracle. He's 17. And no, now he's like, he is God. God told

733
01:22:55.760 --> 01:23:00.000
me when he was in my womb. Caleb Timothy monies is a joy and a

734
01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:04.720
treasure and a lover to be loved. And I needed that.

735
01:23:05.040 --> 01:23:06.080
Because I would be like,

736
01:23:06.800 --> 01:23:12.160
Oh, my gosh, the things I'd be like, the kids would be asleep.

737
01:23:12.160 --> 01:23:15.160
All right, I'm going to go down and do laundry. And I would hear

738
01:23:15.160 --> 01:23:20.720
furniture being drug across the floor. Because he's building it

739
01:23:22.120 --> 01:23:24.080
to go find something easy.

740
01:23:24.080 --> 01:23:29.800
And he really is such a treasure is so autosomy such a lover.

741
01:23:31.000 --> 01:23:35.120
We found Jacob on the roof at two and a half. He would add a

742
01:23:35.120 --> 01:23:38.520
way to climb and scale. And I could tire you.

743
01:23:50.600 --> 01:23:51.480
And then,

744
01:23:51.840 --> 01:23:54.960
without a way to climb and scale, and I couldn't find him

745
01:23:54.960 --> 01:23:58.040
and he's just walking along along the roof. I'm like, Oh, my

746
01:23:58.040 --> 01:24:02.400
gosh, I've got my hands full. Like I, you, you and I have a

747
01:24:02.400 --> 01:24:03.720
lot to unpack with our

748
01:24:05.160 --> 01:24:11.200
early on. I had to actually do this where I was like, I cannot

749
01:24:11.200 --> 01:24:16.160
be responsible for this one's life and safety. Like he's in

750
01:24:16.160 --> 01:24:24.440
your hands gone. I had to like I would have been like, early on.

751
01:24:24.480 --> 01:24:25.560
Go ahead, Jill.

752
01:24:26.960 --> 01:24:31.440
Oh, I was just gonna say, that was like me when I was three. My

753
01:24:31.440 --> 01:24:34.200
aunt came over and said to my mom, you know, Jill's on the

754
01:24:34.200 --> 01:24:36.600
carport. Oh, she's always up there.

755
01:24:36.600 --> 01:24:48.280
I love it. See, it's just like, we're supposed to be all these

756
01:24:48.280 --> 01:24:54.080
different glorious expressions of, you know, of fun and

757
01:24:55.080 --> 01:24:59.440
I know adventurous out there with a snowshoes in the in the

758
01:24:59.440 --> 01:25:00.040
wilderness.

759
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:00.840
Yes.

760
01:25:02.720 --> 01:25:05.240
I just went parachuting in Australia.

761
01:25:07.120 --> 01:25:08.760
Oh, you love that.

762
01:25:08.760 --> 01:25:11.280
Don't you, you land and then you're like,

763
01:25:12.440 --> 01:25:14.520
if I had a lot of money, I'd do it again.

764
01:25:14.520 --> 01:25:15.960
I know, exactly.

765
01:25:18.360 --> 01:25:22.040
Did you do it with a co-pilot or by yourself?

766
01:25:22.040 --> 01:25:23.400
Co-pilot. By yourself?

767
01:25:23.400 --> 01:25:24.240
With a co-pilot?

768
01:25:24.240 --> 01:25:26.560
If you're attached to someone.

769
01:25:26.560 --> 01:25:29.520
Yeah, I went up to the Alps to try and do that

770
01:25:29.520 --> 01:25:31.120
and then while I was ready,

771
01:25:31.120 --> 01:25:33.240
they already gave me the whole gear and everything.

772
01:25:33.240 --> 01:25:35.560
And then the gondola was shut down already

773
01:25:35.560 --> 01:25:38.320
because it was like four o'clock or five o'clock.

774
01:25:38.320 --> 01:25:40.440
So I missed it, but I would love to do that.

775
01:25:40.440 --> 01:25:42.000
Was it fun?

776
01:25:42.000 --> 01:25:43.760
It's so awesome.

777
01:25:45.440 --> 01:25:46.800
Oh my gosh.

778
01:25:48.200 --> 01:25:50.480
My daughter did it.

779
01:25:50.480 --> 01:25:51.840
And after she came back, I said,

780
01:25:51.840 --> 01:25:53.920
I'm doing it now too and it was too late.

781
01:25:55.680 --> 01:25:57.040
Oh, it was the same day.

782
01:25:58.040 --> 01:26:01.480
When she, well, when she survived, I said,

783
01:26:01.480 --> 01:26:03.640
okay, I think I will survive too.

784
01:26:05.160 --> 01:26:07.560
Well, my mother-in-law found out

785
01:26:07.560 --> 01:26:08.920
that my husband bought us tickets.

786
01:26:08.920 --> 01:26:11.800
So she was sending us all these videos

787
01:26:11.800 --> 01:26:15.240
of like people that die apparently.

788
01:26:15.240 --> 01:26:18.200
So I'm like, okay, we can't tell her.

789
01:26:18.200 --> 01:26:22.160
So we called my mom and said, mom, can you come over?

790
01:26:22.160 --> 01:26:25.920
We have to run out to the Cape for some stuff.

791
01:26:25.920 --> 01:26:26.760
And she said, okay.

792
01:26:26.760 --> 01:26:29.280
So she came over to watch Jeremiah and Caleb.

793
01:26:29.280 --> 01:26:32.080
She walks in the door and doesn't, isn't Caleb like,

794
01:26:32.080 --> 01:26:34.800
Meemaw, Meemaw, did mama tell you

795
01:26:34.800 --> 01:26:37.800
that mommy and daddy are going to jump out of a plane?

796
01:26:37.800 --> 01:26:39.800
Did they tell you that's what they're going to do, Meemaw?

797
01:26:39.800 --> 01:26:41.520
Did they tell you that's why you're here?

798
01:26:41.520 --> 01:26:46.520
I was just like, oh, my mother, just total composure.

799
01:26:48.200 --> 01:26:49.440
I was jealous.

800
01:26:49.440 --> 01:26:51.240
Ingrid, she scared me like you.

801
01:26:51.240 --> 01:26:54.760
Like, you know, just total composure and just like,

802
01:26:54.760 --> 01:26:56.960
well, we are just going to claim all of that

803
01:26:56.960 --> 01:26:58.120
for the kingdom.

804
01:27:00.080 --> 01:27:05.080
And so anyway, when we landed and we jumped in the car,

805
01:27:05.240 --> 01:27:06.960
I let her know we're on the ground.

806
01:27:06.960 --> 01:27:08.880
She's like, okay.

807
01:27:08.880 --> 01:27:11.480
I was hoping that I wasn't the one to have to say,

808
01:27:11.480 --> 01:27:14.480
okay, kids, let's go scrape your parents off the pavement.

809
01:27:18.600 --> 01:27:20.960
That's gotta be scary off the plane.

810
01:27:20.960 --> 01:27:22.200
Over there, the way they do it,

811
01:27:22.200 --> 01:27:25.920
you just run kind of, yeah.

812
01:27:27.000 --> 01:27:28.080
Well, you first take off.

813
01:27:28.080 --> 01:27:29.840
You don't just run off the cliff.

814
01:27:31.120 --> 01:27:32.200
You first take off.

815
01:27:32.200 --> 01:27:36.760
And once you're taking off, then you're off the cliff.

816
01:27:36.760 --> 01:27:39.880
So I think that's easier than jumping out of the plane.

817
01:27:39.880 --> 01:27:44.280
Well, you're 10,000 feet up and you're just falling,

818
01:27:44.280 --> 01:27:46.880
but you don't feel like you're free falling.

819
01:27:46.880 --> 01:27:49.400
It just is like, I mean, it was probably a lot warmer

820
01:27:49.400 --> 01:27:51.400
where Jill was, but I was like,

821
01:27:51.400 --> 01:27:53.240
oh, my ears are so cold.

822
01:27:55.400 --> 01:27:56.360
My ears are cold.

823
01:27:56.360 --> 01:27:58.640
I'm like, I can't wait till this part is over

824
01:27:58.640 --> 01:28:00.200
because my ears are cold.

825
01:28:00.200 --> 01:28:02.600
It was kind of cold because you're up high.

826
01:28:02.600 --> 01:28:05.800
Even, you know, you're up where it is cold.

827
01:28:05.800 --> 01:28:06.640
Yeah.

828
01:28:09.360 --> 01:28:10.280
Yeah.

829
01:28:10.280 --> 01:28:11.720
And you're just like falling,

830
01:28:11.720 --> 01:28:13.480
but you don't feel like you're,

831
01:28:13.480 --> 01:28:16.440
you're just free falling at who knows

832
01:28:16.440 --> 01:28:18.640
how many miles per hour.

833
01:28:18.640 --> 01:28:21.600
And then, then when the parachute goes out,

834
01:28:21.600 --> 01:28:24.480
you could just stay there all day

835
01:28:25.880 --> 01:28:29.960
and look at the ocean and look like, oh my God.

836
01:28:29.960 --> 01:28:30.800
Yeah.

837
01:28:32.160 --> 01:28:33.000
Wow.

838
01:28:33.000 --> 01:28:34.320
That's running off the cliff.

839
01:28:34.320 --> 01:28:36.240
I can't even imagine.

840
01:28:36.240 --> 01:28:37.080
Wow.

841
01:28:37.080 --> 01:28:39.800
Well, it's just down the hill and once,

842
01:28:39.800 --> 01:28:41.320
and it has to take off first.

843
01:28:41.320 --> 01:28:44.120
And if it doesn't take off, they'll stop, you know?

844
01:28:45.400 --> 01:28:46.880
Wow.

845
01:28:46.880 --> 01:28:49.720
So I was just going to quickly share that.

846
01:28:50.720 --> 01:28:51.560
Okay.

847
01:28:51.560 --> 01:28:55.640
So just all these things, just going to the Lord.

848
01:28:55.640 --> 01:28:59.120
And then I said, what does it look like for you?

849
01:28:59.120 --> 01:29:02.880
And he showed me all that stuff on him

850
01:29:02.880 --> 01:29:05.440
and he had a crown of thorns

851
01:29:05.440 --> 01:29:09.800
and he was all like bloated and weighted.

852
01:29:09.800 --> 01:29:11.920
He was the one all weighted and bloated

853
01:29:11.920 --> 01:29:14.200
and pressed down and like all sorts.

854
01:29:14.200 --> 01:29:18.360
And he took it all victoriously to the cross.

855
01:29:18.360 --> 01:29:22.240
And he said, it looks like what I knew

856
01:29:22.240 --> 01:29:24.960
I needed to accomplish for you.

857
01:29:24.960 --> 01:29:26.280
It is finished.

858
01:29:27.240 --> 01:29:31.680
So I can't remember the next question,

859
01:29:31.680 --> 01:29:36.560
but the answer was all righteousness is accomplished.

860
01:29:37.560 --> 01:29:39.800
And so I said, what's my part?

861
01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:43.480
And he said, enjoy me, learn of me.

862
01:29:43.480 --> 01:29:48.480
As a child, grow never weary in doing well.

863
01:29:50.240 --> 01:29:54.840
It's so exciting for me when we get to do well.

864
01:29:54.840 --> 01:29:58.600
Learn my excitement for you.

865
01:29:58.600 --> 01:29:59.920
And then.

866
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.000
you can love being excited for me like Daniel learned. And so

867
01:30:07.000 --> 01:30:10.760
then I said, what does rest look like? And I heard that song.

868
01:30:11.280 --> 01:30:19.480
Fly me to the moon and let me swing upon the stars. Let me

869
01:30:19.480 --> 01:30:28.840
see what life is like on Jupiter and Mars. In other words, hold

870
01:30:28.840 --> 01:30:36.200
my hand. It's just like, you know, and he said, we could we

871
01:30:36.200 --> 01:30:40.200
could go there. We can be on a hammock and on a tropical beach.

872
01:30:40.480 --> 01:30:45.880
So much nicer than a couple of well. Well, never the first

873
01:30:47.160 --> 01:30:53.880
night. I wasn't watching on Facebook. And everyone's very

874
01:30:53.880 --> 01:31:00.680
quiet and doing that remove everything or give me anything

875
01:31:00.680 --> 01:31:08.640
that will stop me from what you want me to know. Somebody I

876
01:31:08.640 --> 01:31:12.000
think it's Burt Bacharach song was playing present devil was

877
01:31:12.000 --> 01:31:30.280
playing. So far away. No way. No way. Just I mean, mom, every

878
01:31:30.280 --> 01:31:33.200
one of those things. Let it just like

879
01:31:36.000 --> 01:31:37.440
was funny, actually.

880
01:31:37.440 --> 01:31:53.480
Wow. Well, you guys are awesome. Thank you so very, very much.

881
01:31:53.480 --> 01:31:59.040
Thank you for sharing. And Jill, did I stop you from sharing

882
01:31:59.040 --> 01:32:03.000
anything or mom? Did I stop you guys? No. All set. Okay. All

883
01:32:03.000 --> 01:32:08.720
right. Yeah, good. Yeah. Hey, Hillary. Can Is there any way

884
01:32:08.720 --> 01:32:12.120
that you can stop the recording? I just I wanted to clarify this

885
01:32:12.120 --> 01:32:16.360
thing about the app that we talked about earlier. Because I

886
01:32:16.360 --> 01:32:18.880
need to make a decision. Okay.

887
01:32:21.760 --> 01:32:26.240
There isn't a rush on that. Let me let me cancel everything.

888
01:32:26.240 --> 01:32:33.080
All right. Praise God. Stop recording and