WEBVTT

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Okay.

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Hey girl.

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You doing, I can't see you yet. Are you there. Okay. Oh, hold on.

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I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

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I can't see you but yeah.

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Are you on your phone.

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Now I'm there.

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You're in a different location. Are you in your office for edit at the house. I'm just out in my son room.

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Oh, nice. It's pretty I like.

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Yeah.

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So, sorry about that.

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That's fine. I hope that your real estate deals are going okay.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yep, I think so it would be an agreement I do have an inspection at three o'clock that could be a little bit of a tough one because it's a VA loan, but to be an agreement that three o'clock.

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Yeah, I mean I don't have to be there that well.

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Okay.

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I'm going to have to text let me text really I'm sorry things got a little crazy today we had an office meeting went late blah blah blah. Let me text a relative real quick and then I should be free.

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Sure.

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Can you hold on real quick.

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Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to call her real quick. Okay, and see if she's going.

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I like your deck is that where you're at. Yes, yeah, I like it too it might be it's my favorite in the summer. Yeah, yeah.

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That's nice.

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Okay, hold on, let me just call Shelby real quick, or.

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Okay, I'll put it on mute a minute. Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay, I got that done. Praise the Lord. Good. Yeah, well, I am. I thought, well, if you're doing that I'll go get me some water.

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And then I had to move because I think that if I sat there. I get a sunburn.

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My next I'm like, okay, let me do the other side of the table.

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I think you got in a better spot and you got water. Yes, I did.

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With line.

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Exciting, I got me a little with lemon.

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Oh, there you go.

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Yeah, I had some lemon that I thought about getting.

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I was like, I have to cut it.

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Yeah.

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This, this is the,

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so I was in a hurry to get back to the table,

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but this is true lime.

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Have you ever heard of it?

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Oh no, but I'll have to check it out.

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Yeah, it's really great.

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It's made with real limes and,

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or, and they also have lemons as well,

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but, and they just kind of, it's crystallized.

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It's real lemon crystallized.

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And then, and they, and they make it big lemon, lemonade,

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sorry, lemon, lime, and orange.

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Anyway, so it's great because I like to just,

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you can just take them with you.

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Like you can take them on the airplane

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or you can take them to a restaurant or whatever.

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And then you've got, you've got lemon or lime

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and you don't have to carry around the real fruit anyway.

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I like it.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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I wish I could go outside, but I'd be in the sun

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and I would be, wouldn't be able to see.

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Cause it's, it's in the seventies here today in Missouri.

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Oh, it's so nice.

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Well, I think, I think it is here too now.

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It wasn't this morning, but it is now.

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So that's really nice.

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Ed, you know, I'm just so ready to be warm again.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I know we have a few days of cool.

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Yeah.

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We have a few days of cooler after that,

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but then I think spring's coming early.

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That's so.

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I really enjoy warmer weather.

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So, so, so many people say that they would rather

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be cold than hot because you can always add layers.

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And I'm like, well, not always, but that's what they say.

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So I'm like, okay, that's great.

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I said, I, they said, because in the heat, you know,

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you can only take off so many layers.

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But for me, I've just learned to adapt to so much

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to the heat and haven't learned to adapt very well

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to the cold.

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It's like, it gets down into your bones

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and then you feel you can't get it out.

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So I know that people like Wim Hof and whoever,

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they figured out how to do it, but I have not.

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So anyway, I'm like, I prefer the heat over the cold.

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But anyway, so how are you doing?

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Well, I have to slow down a minute here today

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after we had office meeting 30 miles from here.

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And other than that, and this inspection

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that I'm expecting good and expecting God to be good

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and expecting it to work out,

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because we really weren't taking government loans

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on this house, but we took one.

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So some of you just would rather not have that situation

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because there's more hoops to go through and stuff.

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So I'm still expecting good.

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I'm expecting it to work out.

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So yeah, so anyway, how am I doing?

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I'm just doing all right.

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I didn't really even have time to plan on what to talk to.

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So that's all right.

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I expect Holy Spirit.

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Usually, yeah.

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Usually stuff comes up while we talk and someone does it.

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That's usually, at least from my experience, best

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because it's just, like you said,

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just letting the spirit flow.

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And he even said, hey, if you get called before court

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for following me, he said, don't even plan

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on what you're saying.

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Just let be guided in the moment.

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So anyway, how's everything going with,

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like you were doing some other stuff during this time.

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Like, was it with Oaks Rising?

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Yeah.

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Some inner healing and stuff.

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So how has you been doing that?

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Why you've been doing the rest intensive?

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And I don't know if there's anything else you've been doing,

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but just overall, how have you been doing

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with like just healing and then your marriage with Ken

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or your approach to how it's all affecting you

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and just how are you doing?

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Right.

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Well, I think there's been some healing going on.

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You know, there's definitely, and the Oaks Rising,

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I think this was a good match because I started it.

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I started it several months ago

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and then we did kind of the core sessions.

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We finished up the core sessions

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right in the middle of this.

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So I think that went well.

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It was good because we were healing things,

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deep things too, you know, that needed done.

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So I think it was a good, it turned out to be a good match,

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a good mix.

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Perfect.

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Yeah.

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So I think that's, yeah.

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And I think that's good.

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And I think I've found myself like,

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even the last couple of days, you know,

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maybe starting to react a little bit, even to Ken.

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Sometimes, you know, he told me

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he was going to take off work today

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because he worked all weekend.

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He ended up working both days.

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And, but then he decided, I think I'm going to work.

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So there's those little,

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cause I thought we might do something,

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but then it was like, I quickly,

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and so I started to get a little.

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But, you know, well, I thought, you know, we were going to maybe at least get a walk in or something today.

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But then I quickly said, well, you know what, do you do you want to do dinner tonight?

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Because I had thought I had we planned on cooking some nice steaks yesterday.

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He ended up working all day and all evening.

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And I said, you still want to cook the steaks tonight? So I quickly just kind of shifted gears.

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And I used I use the terminology and I was like, OK, I'm choosing God is good for a second there.

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I was just kind of, you know, when things don't go well, I was just kind of out of out of sorts for a minute.

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And, you know, I thought you weren't going to work today. And and he said, well, I think I will.

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You know, I think I'm going to or whatever. And and so and I think I said something like, I don't know.

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I probably said something. So I said, well, it's always it's about you, isn't it, Ken?

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It's about all about you, isn't it? And but then I quickly just shifted gears.

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He went, you know, and I just so I used the technique and I just said, I'm choosing God is good.

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And and I got plenty to do anyway. And I may get a walk in, but it's going to have to be later.

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And and we still might get to do dinner tonight. So the tools help today again.

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Good. Yeah. And even last night, you know, because we were going to have dinner before the meeting and he he called and said,

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well, I'm going to stay and finish doing some work and taking videos for this for the new job.

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He got he got a new job. I don't think so.

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I don't think I did. He got a new job and he and he likes it.

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He got hired as a salesperson for a composting organic composting company that sells mulch and different things.

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It's where he's bought his mulch for a long time and they hired him to be sales and to travel around Missouri a little bit,

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which he kind of likes to do and pretty good, decent salary with commission.

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Yeah. And it took another part. He took another. I think my mailman's here.

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So my mailman is going to bring in some love here. OK, that's good.

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Yeah, he's a sweet guy. And so Andy, he took another part time job that he'd been talking about.

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So all of a sudden he went from a part time, 25 hours a week to a full time and a part time job.

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But but the part time he can do when he wants to. It's like, yeah, he can do when he wants to.

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Yeah. Special delivery. How are you today? Thank you so much.

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Appreciate you want to sit down anywhere. Thank you.

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Thank you. Put together for me if you want.

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OK, so you have a great rest of the day. Appreciate you. Uh huh.

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So anyway, he's just a sweetie. And I always tell I have a sign out there.

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Bring my stuff in my son room because I leave it open if I'm not here.

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So so he just comes right in. Oh, great. It's always a man.

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Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, you know, people you can trust.

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And anyway, so. So, yeah. So the other job he can do when he wants to.

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It's actually driving for a limo service for like weddings and stuff.

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OK, yeah. Yeah. And they have real nice vehicles. And so he chose to go ahead and take the job this weekend.

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And then his boss. So he did that Friday night and Saturday night.

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And then his boss asked him to work Sunday to do some marketing.

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This is funny. I have to tell you real quick to do some marketing for him in Columbia.

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They the compost company is called Bluebird, which I like the name.

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Yeah, it's all organic. And they sponsor a film festival called True False Film Festival, which I don't know if you ever heard of it.

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But Ken and his first wife used to be involved in True False, helped do advertising for them.

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And then they got they got kind of they're a little bit liberal and stuff.

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And Ken kind of wanted to get away from it. He felt led to get away from it.

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Well, then he got put back up. His boss has asked him to go up there yesterday.

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And he got interviewed by television. He was on TV.

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He was he was on TV last night just for a minute. And yeah.

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And then he went to the film festival and then he got to visit one of his good friends yesterday in between.

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And he went to the film festival and took pictures for their social media.

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So, I mean, he's just like, this is just really weird because I wanted to get away from this film festival.

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And here I am back here. But but you know what?

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I responded well when he said he he he thought he was just going to go up there for a few hours.

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So we were going to maybe get together yesterday. But I just responded well.

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I I was just like, OK. And, you know, I've got plenty to do anyway.

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And so so, yeah, I can see, you know, so even yesterday and then I started to respond not so well this morning, but I flipped it quickly.

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That's great. I'm so glad for you.

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And it is really all of this. And this is what I tell people because I even.

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have now you're you're not in a situation I'm just saying that I've talked to people like

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in very extreme situations like that are that are living in abusive controlling situations by a

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spouse and they and so it this even and this is what I tell them as well because they'll they'll

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you know ask me like how do I deal with this and so I'll tell them I said well the thing is you

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can't control someone else but you can free yourself and I don't mean free as in like like

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they leave and get out of the house and you're like they you know and they divorce all that I

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don't mean that I just mean you can like because it depends on the situation as to what as to what

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God wants that particular couple to do I just talked to them about the about the fact that

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they that it's important to free yourself from the control because you're being controlled

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internally and so anyway so that's what I was just saying for you is like you just feeling like

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okay no I'm gonna choose my I'm gonna choose my own freedom I'm gonna choose to be free as opposed

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to just being as opposed to my life or how I feel about myself being dictated by someone else's

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choices and how they're choosing to live life what is they're choosing to do not do whatever

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and just like oh my word now now my life is created simply because it's simply from what

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somebody else decides to do and therefore it forces me to respond and I don't want to respond

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I didn't want to be in the situation I have to make a choice instead you just kind of free

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oneself to realize because I was doing a transformation session right before yours

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not with someone in the in the group but like a past client who did a transformation session I

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was talking to them about the same thing about like hey remember to own yourself because you're

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it feels like everything's out of out of my control and I said you know you just choose

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that you really are as valuable as God says that you are and then just is wild that making such a

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simple choice it can be hard when we're not used to it but it is very simple may be challenging

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for us to actually just do but it is simple as in like it's not complex and you just choose that

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you really are as valuable as God says that you are and that kind of allows you to own yourself

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again and just like okay I actually have a free will I can determine and make decisions about my

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life and what it is that I want to do and what it is that I want to decide and how it is that

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I want to respond or and so that is freedom is owning oneself so yeah you still have the choice

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based off of okay well somebody else is going to do this and therefore well I was wanting this and

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now I know they're not giving me the option to choose that okay but I can still make a choice

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other choices and so in fact speaking of this I was telling her because she was asking me stuff

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about like well with her children how does she operate more from a place of rest because she

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was struggling with she wanted to teach them freedom at a young age that she's trying to

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learn as an adult like how do you feel like you're not being controlled how do you feel like you

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actually do own yourself and she's like how do I convey that to them and she was running into

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situations where like well they wanted to eat dessert at night and she didn't want them to have

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dessert and she's like well what do I do because I don't want to like control them to the point

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where then they start having eating issues because their mother always said no they can't eat you

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know or they can't eat ice cream you know or whatever she's like so how do I do that and

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and I said well honestly what you're doing is you're teaching them how to uh as an like as an

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adult to understand that the world is bigger than strictly the options that you're being given

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than strictly like this thing that you want to do or this thing that you don't want to do

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like the world is bigger and so you're teaching them at a young age to think bigger than simply

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what it is that they're focused on like I really didn't want to have to do this or I really want

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to do this and nothing's letting me do this and so for instance I was telling her you know

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like if the child wants to eat ice cream and you don't want them to eat ice cream it's like you

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don't have to give them an option of which dessert they eat you don't have to give it you can just

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say no I'm afraid we're not going to have ice cream tonight but you could you know you could

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have a bubble bath or you could you know um we could read a few uh extra chapters tonight I was

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thinking we could read a few extra chapters tonight because you're not driving them away

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from it you're just giving them a you're giving them a choice that they can make of how they can

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have fun if they can't have this thing so I said what you're doing is you're actually teaching them

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to think bigger than simply focusing on a specific specific thing that they want or don't want and

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just try to find fun in other choices that they have an option to make point is it's the same

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thing as an adult it's like we're like hey look you know kind of like a parent like like as if

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like a spouse is saying hey look my choice is this you're going that's really not the choice that I

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to be able to interact with, I wanted to do that. And now I'm

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being told no, you know, and, you know, because emotionally,

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that's how we feel. I'm not saying anything negative about

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Ken or about, you know, about making a decision, I'm saying

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how it affects us, because we're talking about free me, what do I

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do about me, you know, as opposed to simply living,

279
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feeling like I'm a victim to everybody else's decisions about

280
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how they want to live life. And I just have to like, cope, you

281
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know, and readjust. So how do you choose yourself in those

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moments? And one of the things you do is like what you said,

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okay, well, then I'm going to make a choice that I'm going to

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be excited about dinner tonight. And so okay, well, would you

285
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like steaks? Would you like that? And just like, right,

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planning another way of, you know, still making an

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intentional decision about how do I want to live life? Because

288
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even other people involved, these still don't always go our

289
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way. Like environment won't work a particular way. Finances don't

290
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allow us to do that, or God said no, or whatever. And so

291
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it's not always due to someone else. And we're always having to

292
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adjust. So still, how do we own ourselves in situations where we

293
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feel we're being told no, you know, without us feeling like

294
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we're being dictated to or a victim, how do we not take on

295
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victimhood? So it sounds like you've done amazing. That's

296
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really hard.

297
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Well, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And yesterday,

298
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I like, okay, you know, because when he went, like yesterday, I

299
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thought he was going to be back. I went on to, I went on

300
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and went to church with my spiritual mom that has a small

301
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church. And then I thought he'd be back. But yeah, I just kind

302
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of was like, Oh, well, I'll go for a walk. And I'll make my

303
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salads for the week. I've been making these little jar salads

304
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and wide mouth jars that my girlfriend taught me. Yes, put

305
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like spinach, spinach in each one and whatever you like. On

306
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top of that, and then you just we bought these pretty little

307
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lids on Amazon. And then they make a dressing. Yeah, it makes

308
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it fun. And then you have something ready to eat. And you

309
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can even she makes quinoa and brown rice and a rice cooker too

310
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and she can add a little that to it to give it a little protein.

311
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But yeah, so she taught me that. So I was like, Oh, I'll make I'll

312
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just make my salads. I'll go to the store and all and I hot tub

313
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by myself. And I'm like, okay, I'll hot tub. And, and then you

314
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know, so I just thought of, okay, I can just do what I want

315
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to do then. And I, and I didn't, I didn't re I Yeah,

316
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that's true. I didn't react at all. I didn't even react pretty

317
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much. Yeah, that's a win, isn't it? Oh, that is huge. That's

318
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huge. I responded instead is like, he was like, Oh, I'm going

319
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to stay up here. And he called and I'm like, okay. Yeah, I just

320
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said I said, Okay. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, that's wonderful. Yeah.

321
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That's really huge. So I'm glad I got to talk to you and see how

322
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that was pretty big, wasn't it? Oh, my word. Are you? Are you

323
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kidding? That's ginormous. I mean, we, we feel like those are

324
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just like little things, you know, sometimes moment like to

325
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the point where you're just like, well, I just really

326
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didn't, you know, you didn't really notice it too much at the

327
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time. But see, that's the point is for these things in a in a

328
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manner speaking to not be a big deal. In other words, it's your

329
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life. It's who you're transforming now to be as

330
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opposed to something you're always trying to remember to do.

331
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Right? It's like, we want to be the thing we want that right. We

332
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want to transform to the point where that's our natural

333
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response. It comes because that's who we naturally are. And

334
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we've now removed all of this trying.

335
00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:38.000
Right? Just trying. And yeah, yeah. And this morning, I didn't

336
00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:39.960
do quite as good, but I transitioned quickly.

337
00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:43.200
Yeah, exactly. See, we're also on a journey. I do the same

338
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thing, you know, and in fact, like I like I joke with y'all

339
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Ed's always having to tell me actually remember what you

340
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teach. Like, hey, buddy.

341
00:23:51.720 --> 00:24:00.600
Yeah. Hey, hey. Yeah. Right. Right. Hey, I know. Thanks for

342
00:24:00.600 --> 00:24:05.720
the reminder. I know. I'm still a work in progress. Yeah, we all

343
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are. So I guess actually, that's, that was a that was

344
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that's good. That was a victory and not just a victory, but like

345
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it was big. And that was just Yeah, it wasn't I just stayed at

346
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peace yesterday. I was just okay, I'm just gonna enjoy, you

347
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know, and I'm hot tub by myself and enjoy it. And I did. And a

348
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girlfriend came by I cleaned out a closet Friday, and I was given

349
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some shoes away that I'm not wearing. And she popped in and

350
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got them and I got to talk to her a little bit about what I'm

351
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doing and some healing and stuff. So yeah, so so yeah,

352
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thank you for the reminder. That was good that how how that

353
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just kind of played out. Yeah, and you know, and I don't know,

354
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I you know, like, like I said, I don't really know exactly I have

355
00:24:53.280 --> 00:24:56.640
no idea how things are going to go in the end with Ken. You

356
00:24:56.640 --> 00:25:00.080
know, because we've we're not really living together. Although

357
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.240
So this marriage counselor that we went to right after we got back together, recommended

358
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we live together.

359
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He's like, you know, you guys really probably need to work on things.

360
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So we did for a little while.

361
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And then the me, I was like, I mean, you talk, you talk about, um, hard to deal with sometimes

362
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:23.720
if things go wrong, I'm just like, just go ahead and go, just, just go.

363
00:25:23.720 --> 00:25:28.360
So, so this poor guy just, you, you know, cause he already had his, you know, his kid's

364
00:25:28.360 --> 00:25:30.400
house that he'd been living with for a while.

365
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:32.020
So I'm just, I just go ahead and go.

366
00:25:32.020 --> 00:25:39.760
So I am, I was not very, um, um, I was not exercising very good.

367
00:25:39.760 --> 00:25:41.240
What would you call it?

368
00:25:41.240 --> 00:25:42.480
I don't know what you call it.

369
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:47.120
Um, so what you're trying to say, but I don't know what that, what that word is.

370
00:25:47.120 --> 00:25:48.120
I don't either.

371
00:25:48.120 --> 00:25:49.120
Yes.

372
00:25:49.120 --> 00:25:50.600
As Jen said, one thing he said, you know what he said?

373
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I thought I was really flexible, but now I learned I'm, I'm learning to be really flexible

374
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because he is quick to forgive and he's quick to, I mean, sure there's wounds in there and

375
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:06.040
stuff that, you know, cause he'll bring them up once in a while, but he's, he's pretty

376
00:26:06.040 --> 00:26:11.400
quick to forgive and, and, um, always seems like we both still have this love for each

377
00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:18.060
other and, and, uh, um, so, you know, but I haven't seen his family a whole lot.

378
00:26:18.060 --> 00:26:23.120
That's another thing that's a little bit hard because, um, that's been a little hard because

379
00:26:23.120 --> 00:26:27.560
I, you know, we got back together and then he says, you know, they were wounded when

380
00:26:27.560 --> 00:26:32.120
we split up and, but it's, you know, it's like, well, you know, you know, I, you know,

381
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I hate that they were wounded.

382
00:26:33.360 --> 00:26:37.280
I mean, I turned around and still sold them a house after we had split up.

383
00:26:37.280 --> 00:26:42.000
And so I was still interacting with them and they were really kind and we got, you know,

384
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:43.120
they were renting my other house.

385
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They were renting my rental house.

386
00:26:45.960 --> 00:26:49.280
So, and then I found him a house to buy anyway.

387
00:26:49.280 --> 00:26:55.000
So, um, however, it's been a little hard, you know, it's been a little hard and his

388
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.200
other son moved to Kansas city with his wife and she's going to college there, but it's

389
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:05.300
been, you know, it's been a little hard cause I finally saw him on Thanksgiving and it ended

390
00:27:05.300 --> 00:27:06.880
up one of them was sick.

391
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:09.880
So we ended up, thank goodness we had cooked a bunch of stuff.

392
00:27:09.880 --> 00:27:13.080
So we ended up bringing like everything cause they were sick and really just taking care

393
00:27:13.080 --> 00:27:14.080
of their children.

394
00:27:14.080 --> 00:27:15.080
Couldn't even cook.

395
00:27:15.080 --> 00:27:19.000
So we had a really good visit, but then Ken and I had a big fight right before Christmas

396
00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:21.200
and I chose to not go to Christmas.

397
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So that was on me.

398
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:24.240
I'm sorry.

399
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:26.160
I know it's been hard for you.

400
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:27.680
It has.

401
00:27:27.680 --> 00:27:31.600
So I just still took them their gifts and some food I said I'd bring cause I wanted

402
00:27:31.600 --> 00:27:37.160
to honor that and, and, and Ken's son met me outside and gave me a big hug and gave

403
00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:38.160
me a little gift.

404
00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:43.240
And I mean, they've been kind, they've been kind and they're, um, but in his daughter

405
00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:48.280
and I are close, his daughter lives, she lives in Columbia, but we're close and she got a

406
00:27:48.560 --> 00:27:53.440
bunch of, yeah, she got a bunch of freedom after we met with some friends of mine and

407
00:27:53.440 --> 00:28:00.280
she flipped her whole life around and cause she was, she was in an alternative lifestyle

408
00:28:00.280 --> 00:28:05.040
and she has totally flipped around and we do some conferences together now.

409
00:28:05.040 --> 00:28:12.120
And, and so she's, yeah, she's seeking God and really, so, so she really, so her and

410
00:28:12.120 --> 00:28:13.120
I are close.

411
00:28:13.120 --> 00:28:16.320
She came and spent Christmas with me for two or three hours before she went with them.

412
00:28:16.320 --> 00:28:19.600
Cause she didn't want me spending it by myself.

413
00:28:19.600 --> 00:28:20.600
Was that special?

414
00:28:20.600 --> 00:28:21.600
Yes.

415
00:28:21.600 --> 00:28:26.080
I mean, I thought she'd just come by, but you know, she stayed like two hours or more.

416
00:28:26.080 --> 00:28:27.760
That's sweet.

417
00:28:27.760 --> 00:28:28.760
That's wonderful.

418
00:28:28.760 --> 00:28:34.880
I'm so glad that you've got such a good relationship with his kids with her.

419
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:35.880
So yeah.

420
00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:40.360
And then she, and she comes up to the same church I go to sometimes up here in Jeff city.

421
00:28:40.360 --> 00:28:41.360
Anyway.

422
00:28:41.360 --> 00:28:44.920
So, so there's that side, but then the other side where he says the children are hurt.

423
00:28:44.920 --> 00:28:49.960
So I'm just kind of praying into that, Ashley, cause of how, you know, cause I want to go

424
00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:50.960
see him.

425
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:52.880
I'm missing my grandkids.

426
00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:54.920
And I brought that up to Ken a couple of times.

427
00:28:54.920 --> 00:28:56.080
I'm like, I want to go see him.

428
00:28:56.080 --> 00:28:59.980
And I have a little gift that I ordered that came in late anyway for Christmas.

429
00:28:59.980 --> 00:29:06.960
So just that's something you can, if you have any advice or on that, and I'm trying to just

430
00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:11.320
kind of be patient, but also, you know, if there's something I need to make amends for,

431
00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:16.840
I've just been kind of asking the Lord, but I don't know exactly here lately.

432
00:29:16.840 --> 00:29:20.960
I'm thinking maybe I should just write and see what comes out to me.

433
00:29:20.960 --> 00:29:21.960
I mean, yeah.

434
00:29:21.960 --> 00:29:22.960
Right.

435
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:23.960
Yeah.

436
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:24.960
That's a great idea.

437
00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:28.440
And then, you know, and like what you talked about, you know, just writing and asking the

438
00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:31.880
Lord, you know, Hey Lord, you know, this is what I'm thinking.

439
00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:33.760
What do you think I should do or whatever?

440
00:29:33.760 --> 00:29:35.920
And then an answer.

441
00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:37.880
And then that's what I would do.

442
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:41.560
And then just generally, you know, you're just always wanting to honor, honor Ken and

443
00:29:41.560 --> 00:29:44.920
like, Hey, you know, Kay would be contacting him.

444
00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:49.400
It's all of that fine, you know, or like, and then I don't know, sometimes there's always

445
00:29:49.400 --> 00:29:54.320
like contacting that the mother, the woman, the daughter, you know, whoever it is, you

446
00:29:54.320 --> 00:29:58.320
know, and asking, Hey, you know, I have this present.

447
00:29:58.320 --> 00:29:59.840
I was wondering, you know,

448
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.000
Okay, if I would you like me to mail it or may I drop it by and

449
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:06.720
see them or I don't know. Right? Right. Did you did you ever

450
00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:11.640
ask him why they're hurt? Does he know why? Or something like

451
00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:14.360
he won't share that with you? Or he's like, no, that's between

452
00:30:14.360 --> 00:30:15.680
y'all and them? Or?

453
00:30:16.520 --> 00:30:19.360
Well, he just kind of, yeah, I'm not sure he says, you know,

454
00:30:19.360 --> 00:30:21.560
they were hurt in the process. And when he left, I was a

455
00:30:21.560 --> 00:30:25.440
little bit I was kind of angry. And that's the thing that kid

456
00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:27.760
hasn't. That's one thing though, actually, he has not really

457
00:30:27.760 --> 00:30:31.840
taken responsibility for his part. So that's the part I have

458
00:30:31.840 --> 00:30:34.360
a hard time. Maybe we could talk about that a minute too. Because

459
00:30:34.600 --> 00:30:37.720
when I asked, I asked him, I just said, I feel like we're

460
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:42.080
supposed to separate for a few days. Because we just weren't

461
00:30:42.520 --> 00:30:47.560
seem like we weren't communicating. Well, at all.

462
00:30:48.120 --> 00:30:52.680
And so and we had he had there was a marriage a little retreat

463
00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:55.240
coming up at the church I used to go to and about a month

464
00:30:55.240 --> 00:30:57.800
before I told him about it. And I said, Would you want to go?

465
00:30:57.800 --> 00:31:00.640
And he said, Yeah. And I said, Don't tell me you want to go if

466
00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.520
you don't want to go. I it's okay. But if you want to go,

467
00:31:03.800 --> 00:31:07.840
I'll pay for it. It's only $75. I said, So think about it. Just

468
00:31:07.840 --> 00:31:12.560
tell me if you so I paid for it. So the weekend we split up that

469
00:31:12.560 --> 00:31:16.800
marriage retreat was only a couple few days away. So I asked

470
00:31:16.800 --> 00:31:19.560
if we could just separate a few days. And I said, if you want to

471
00:31:19.560 --> 00:31:23.120
go to the marriage retreat, it's up to you. I'm still open. Just

472
00:31:23.120 --> 00:31:26.360
let me know by like, a day ahead of time, so I can plan

473
00:31:26.360 --> 00:31:30.840
accordingly. And Ken doesn't like to plan. He doesn't like to

474
00:31:30.840 --> 00:31:37.720
be in the past anyway, too. Well, you know, he and I said,

475
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:39.760
so just let me know what you want to do. Because I want to

476
00:31:39.760 --> 00:31:42.320
work on the marriage. You know, I still I just think we need to

477
00:31:42.320 --> 00:31:46.240
work on some communication, some things I'm feeling. I'm feeling

478
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:48.880
like I can't communicate well, and his daughter was here when I

479
00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:51.560
told him this. So she was she was even with him that night.

480
00:31:51.560 --> 00:31:57.720
And I was I was kind I offered I mean, I fed her a sandwich

481
00:31:57.720 --> 00:32:00.840
offered him something to eat. They'd been moving and I gave

482
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:05.440
you know, I get and he didn't even call me Ashley. He never

483
00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:09.920
called. Not only did he not call me about their marriage thing.

484
00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:16.600
He never called. Yeah. That was hurtful. And he's never owned

485
00:32:16.600 --> 00:32:23.680
that. So he saw the whole thing totally different than me. Yeah.

486
00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:28.000
And he sometimes he jokes communicating. And then I take

487
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:31.560
it serious. And I didn't know he was even joking. And that's what

488
00:32:31.600 --> 00:32:37.680
really caused a big riff right before we that happened. And

489
00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:44.200
then I was just angry. I was just like, you know, I mean. So

490
00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:47.120
that's one things when we got back together, I said, Ken, I

491
00:32:47.120 --> 00:32:51.080
feel like I, my heart, I feel like I can't communicate with

492
00:32:51.080 --> 00:32:56.960
you. Because sometimes I try to and, and I just, I get this, you

493
00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:59.440
joke, and you don't you don't want to make commitments. And

494
00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:02.560
you, my heart just feels like I can't communicate. And that's

495
00:33:02.560 --> 00:33:06.120
one of our problems is I have to be able to communicate with you

496
00:33:06.120 --> 00:33:09.520
for together. And that's when he said, I want to do anything to

497
00:33:09.520 --> 00:33:12.880
work this out. I'll do anything. So I get that I'll do anything

498
00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:16.560
to work it out. And, and, and, you know, I heard he was

499
00:33:16.560 --> 00:33:19.160
devastated. But then I just got angry, because then I just felt

500
00:33:19.160 --> 00:33:21.800
like I was kind of which, you know, here's part of my, I felt

501
00:33:21.800 --> 00:33:27.320
like I'd been kind of used and, you know, and then I because I

502
00:33:27.320 --> 00:33:30.160
was angry and his family, although I was nice to them and

503
00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:32.880
kind of them, but they came over one day, his son came over, and

504
00:33:32.880 --> 00:33:39.080
I was just kind of angry in front of his son. Yeah. And I

505
00:33:39.080 --> 00:33:42.320
was just like, you know, I said, I'm so glad your sons treat

506
00:33:42.320 --> 00:33:47.200
their wives. I said, and I said, because you just seems

507
00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:49.600
like you didn't honor me. And you didn't. And I just think I

508
00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:53.240
said in front of you never even contacted me, Ken. And see, but

509
00:33:53.240 --> 00:33:58.000
he's probably never told them that he's never told them. His

510
00:33:58.000 --> 00:34:01.840
daughter knows, but, you know, he's never. So it's kind of

511
00:34:01.840 --> 00:34:04.560
like, that's the part that's been hurtful. It's like, well,

512
00:34:04.560 --> 00:34:09.920
Ken, you know, I would love to make amends to the family, if

513
00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:13.199
necessary, but I'd like you to maybe tell him how, how it went

514
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:17.880
down that I asked for a few day separation and asked you to

515
00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:20.960
call me and you never called me. Have you ever told them that?

516
00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:23.960
And he won't even really answer that.

517
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:31.199
Yeah. And so he's gone through some stuff. Right. That that

518
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:34.239
maybe, you know, because women usually can verbalize their

519
00:34:34.239 --> 00:34:37.280
emotions a bit better than guys. And so it sounds like there's

520
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:41.320
stuff that he's like, even though you suggested separating

521
00:34:41.320 --> 00:34:45.360
for a few days, he ended up taking more than that without

522
00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:48.679
talking to you about it, because all he knew to do was just to

523
00:34:48.679 --> 00:34:53.199
act on how he felt without knowing or being able to

524
00:34:53.199 --> 00:34:55.880
verbalize how he felt. So it sounded like there was just some

525
00:34:55.880 --> 00:34:59.920
stuff that hasn't he hasn't said that he's dealing with or

526
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:16.000
That maybe he doesn't even know for himself how to explain it maybe. So the point is like it sounds like there's more to it than actually that's ever been talked about on his side so meaning like what he's dealing with or what his hang ups, meaning like what

527
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.000
his hurts are or person, right.

528
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:28.000
And that's just what I would ask for the action right and right and yeah. And the other hard part is in when we got back together he agreed to.

529
00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:38.000
I mean he was, he agreed to talk to her mentor that he, he picked he picked he picked it it was actually Shannon Bates husband James Bates.

530
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:53.000
Yes, he covered son in law and talk to him and he agreed to maybe talk to this marriage counselor and do what they recommended and then, and I, and maybe us anyway but he only talked to James like twice and that fell off that fell off.

531
00:35:53.000 --> 00:36:06.000
So, and the marriage counselor recommended a couple things which we, but it like that Scott we've done some of it but that some of that fell off and then I just decided I can't control him.

532
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:17.000
And that's what I'm trying to work out of doing because then I realized I had been trying to control. So I'm trying to come out of the control, because then we just got into this kind of controlling Ahab Jezebel thing.

533
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:27.000
So I got freedom and did a bunch of freedom so I would get free from that so now I, I'm not doing that.

534
00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:32.000
Not participating because one day, he started arguing I just said I am not doing that.

535
00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:36.000
And that's another thing that happened but I said I'm not doing it.

536
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:40.000
You might you might as well leave because I am not participating in this arguing.

537
00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:45.000
And then he started to leave and I said, and I said now if you want to talk about it.

538
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:58.000
We can talk about it if you want if you want me to listen to you I'll listen to you and then maybe you can listen to me. So he did come back in, and I listened to him completely for like five minutes or I said we haven't said we can set a timer.

539
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:06.000
You know, this is what something else you know my spiritual mom taught me, and we've done it a couple of times you talk for two minutes and let me talk for two minutes.

540
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:12.000
And he still kind of has a hard time even though I totally listen is he's wanting to.

541
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.000
And I'm like no can I listen to you without saying a word.

542
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:19.000
That means I'm listening.

543
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:23.000
Now he has a really hard time not interrupting.

544
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:26.000
Even that day but he tried.

545
00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:32.000
And so, but it's one of those things where you've just got to wait till someone's ready to get help.

546
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:35.000
You can't make them get help so.

547
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:46.000
So we were living together but then it was just kind of went back to will get together when we can and, and so I really don't know what to do with all this Ashley in a way, except.

548
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:55.000
I feel like the Lord's telling me to still work on it you know still not let it go.

549
00:37:56.000 --> 00:38:05.000
And because the one thing I know to he's working all these things out of me, he's letting this. He's using it all together is working these things out of me that need work out.

550
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:07.000
Yeah.

551
00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:08.000
Yeah.

552
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:13.000
And getting you freedom and and healing and. Yeah.

553
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:15.000
Yeah, that's good.

554
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:29.000
I really don't know because it is kids kind of, I mean and I know I've been difficult for sure. But he's also kind of a, he doesn't like something happened the Lord showed me in a dream I think that he was really wounded when he was little so the Lord

555
00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:32.000
showed me some ways to pray for him.

556
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:34.000
But he doesn't like.

557
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:46.000
He doesn't even like being, you know, like, could you know you want to be home by six to have dinner he doesn't even like well you know it's kind of like all if he's in Columbia or something all.

558
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:58.000
Yeah, that might you know that might be okay but you almost have to say hey does something I finally figured out. You want to be home between five and six he got to give them a range almost it's kind of like he doesn't like being pinpointed he doesn't

559
00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:17.000
like answering to people he doesn't like he feel, you know, that's why this new job is the guy's kind of flexible and easy go on and so so far he likes it and that makes sense, because I could be wrong but everything you've been telling me sounds

560
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:31.000
someone that always that doubts themselves and and doesn't believe that they can actually execute or accomplish. So, they're always afraid that they're going to fall short.

561
00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:41.000
And so they don't people like that don't like to be pinned down don't like to have to commit, because they feel like it's just setting them up for failure.

562
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:45.000
They don't have a commitment, there's nothing to fail.

563
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:47.000
Boy.

564
00:39:47.000 --> 00:40:00.000
So they don't, they don't think very much of themselves that like very low self esteem and always struggling and then people like that are very defensive, because, but really while it is that they're defending it's not necessary is more

565
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.080
or of like their sense, in other words,

566
00:40:03.080 --> 00:40:06.280
their feeling of who they want to be,

567
00:40:06.280 --> 00:40:09.400
not so much, you know, I don't know,

568
00:40:09.400 --> 00:40:12.200
not so much the actual thing being talked about.

569
00:40:12.200 --> 00:40:15.680
They're just trying to get a semblance of security

570
00:40:15.680 --> 00:40:17.280
that they really are okay,

571
00:40:17.280 --> 00:40:19.400
and they're just trying to fight it.

572
00:40:19.400 --> 00:40:20.960
But they won't allow themselves

573
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:22.080
to be pinned down or committed,

574
00:40:22.080 --> 00:40:23.280
and they won't do it,

575
00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:25.080
they won't even do it for themselves.

576
00:40:25.080 --> 00:40:29.640
Like they won't even give themselves commitments.

577
00:40:29.640 --> 00:40:31.400
They like to be a lot more spontaneous.

578
00:40:31.400 --> 00:40:35.200
They don't like to have set schedules,

579
00:40:36.160 --> 00:40:39.120
because again, it always feels like something

580
00:40:39.120 --> 00:40:41.640
that they're just set up for failure for.

581
00:40:41.640 --> 00:40:42.600
That's it, that's it.

582
00:40:42.600 --> 00:40:44.000
He's very spontaneous.

583
00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:46.280
Dale, my mentor even gave us a test

584
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:47.720
like a year and a half ago or whatever,

585
00:40:47.720 --> 00:40:49.760
and he's totally spontaneous.

586
00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:52.920
And that's kind of his, but yeah.

587
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:54.840
So you say, and you know,

588
00:40:54.840 --> 00:40:58.360
but he acts like he has kind of, you know,

589
00:40:58.360 --> 00:40:59.200
I guess those people do,

590
00:40:59.200 --> 00:41:01.600
they sometimes act like they kind of act different

591
00:41:01.600 --> 00:41:03.360
because they don't act like they have low self-esteem.

592
00:41:03.360 --> 00:41:04.560
They act like they have.

593
00:41:04.560 --> 00:41:07.520
Yeah, they act very confident.

594
00:41:07.520 --> 00:41:08.800
Act confident, yeah.

595
00:41:08.800 --> 00:41:13.800
And the other thing is what a couple of my friends saw,

596
00:41:15.680 --> 00:41:18.840
a couple of times they started seeing a victim mentality,

597
00:41:20.720 --> 00:41:21.560
blaming.

598
00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:27.880
That everything happens to them

599
00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:29.760
because then if it happens to them,

600
00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:31.680
then they're not responsible.

601
00:41:31.680 --> 00:41:35.280
And then they can't use it to identify themselves

602
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:37.840
that they really aren't who they want to be

603
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:39.000
and wish they were.

604
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:42.160
And very sad thing is that it's all lies.

605
00:41:42.160 --> 00:41:44.960
They really are better than they ever even dreamed

606
00:41:44.960 --> 00:41:47.960
that they were, but they weren't,

607
00:41:47.960 --> 00:41:50.760
a lot of the times those people weren't affirmed

608
00:41:50.760 --> 00:41:52.920
to see that in themselves

609
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:54.760
and become secure enough in themselves

610
00:41:54.760 --> 00:41:56.000
without other people's affirmation.

611
00:41:56.000 --> 00:41:57.480
They were always just torn down.

612
00:41:58.040 --> 00:41:59.240
They never could meet.

613
00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:02.520
So they couldn't ever get kind of like a grasp,

614
00:42:02.520 --> 00:42:05.200
a sense or a sure footing underneath them

615
00:42:05.200 --> 00:42:06.920
that they really were valuable

616
00:42:06.920 --> 00:42:11.880
other than simply people's very sporadic response to them.

617
00:42:11.880 --> 00:42:16.000
Because sometimes people like that had no,

618
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:19.480
it didn't have a safe childhood as in like emotionally safe.

619
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:23.600
They could never depend on how someone was gonna react

620
00:42:23.600 --> 00:42:26.720
or interact with their actions.

621
00:42:26.720 --> 00:42:28.360
Because it's like, okay,

622
00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:30.720
because so often those people would get in trouble

623
00:42:30.720 --> 00:42:32.480
and they didn't know why.

624
00:42:32.480 --> 00:42:34.680
They're like, what did I do?

625
00:42:34.680 --> 00:42:35.720
And you know.

626
00:42:35.720 --> 00:42:37.760
I think his mom was pretty.

627
00:42:37.760 --> 00:42:39.800
Very unpredictable childhood.

628
00:42:39.800 --> 00:42:41.400
I think his mom was.

629
00:42:41.400 --> 00:42:42.240
Yeah.

630
00:42:42.240 --> 00:42:43.080
Yeah.

631
00:42:43.080 --> 00:42:44.680
And then, yeah.

632
00:42:44.680 --> 00:42:47.760
So anyway, the reason that I pinpoint all of those things

633
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:50.120
is like knowing those things always helps us

634
00:42:50.120 --> 00:42:51.200
kind of get a sense of,

635
00:42:51.200 --> 00:42:54.480
oh, they're protecting themselves against me

636
00:42:54.520 --> 00:42:58.440
because they think that I don't think well enough of them

637
00:42:58.440 --> 00:43:01.160
or they just don't think well enough of themselves.

638
00:43:01.160 --> 00:43:03.600
And so one of the things is to always like,

639
00:43:04.520 --> 00:43:09.320
always kind of is always think of the,

640
00:43:09.320 --> 00:43:12.640
is always interact with who it is that God says

641
00:43:12.640 --> 00:43:15.080
that they are and begin to see them like that.

642
00:43:15.080 --> 00:43:17.800
In other words, you have to see yourself like that first,

643
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:21.840
shift up into your spirit and then see them in their spirit

644
00:43:21.880 --> 00:43:25.200
and then talk to and interact with that person

645
00:43:25.200 --> 00:43:28.520
because then it's affirming that they really are that thing

646
00:43:28.520 --> 00:43:31.520
that they'd always hoped and wished that they were.

647
00:43:31.520 --> 00:43:33.760
Then they begin to rise to that occasion.

648
00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:36.480
It begins to fill in that gap of feeling like

649
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:38.520
they weren't ever, they're not enough

650
00:43:38.520 --> 00:43:42.680
or they're not trusted or they're always failing or whatever

651
00:43:42.680 --> 00:43:44.400
because if they feel like there's anything

652
00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:48.280
that is being told them that they need to correct

653
00:43:48.280 --> 00:43:51.160
or you're trying to be pinned down or something like that,

654
00:43:51.400 --> 00:43:56.400
then they take it as feeling not trapped

655
00:43:59.160 --> 00:44:03.760
but that they feel like they would be intentionally

656
00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:07.840
putting themselves in a position to get punished.

657
00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:10.560
Put intentionally putting themselves in a position

658
00:44:10.560 --> 00:44:13.400
where someone else can now judge them

659
00:44:13.400 --> 00:44:15.440
because of how they respond to it.

660
00:44:15.440 --> 00:44:18.160
Meaning like, oh, well, they didn't get there on time

661
00:44:18.160 --> 00:44:21.080
or that or, and then they don't want to live afraid

662
00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:23.960
that they're not gonna make it on time or just whatever.

663
00:44:23.960 --> 00:44:27.760
So it's all just, it's all dysfunction from woundings.

664
00:44:27.760 --> 00:44:29.560
But so I've learned that for me,

665
00:44:29.560 --> 00:44:32.480
what is if ever I like speak to,

666
00:44:33.360 --> 00:44:35.520
if I always interact with them,

667
00:44:35.520 --> 00:44:38.880
seeing them who, for who it is that God says that they are

668
00:44:38.880 --> 00:44:40.920
in their fact that they're perfect,

669
00:44:40.920 --> 00:44:42.400
the fact that they're strong,

670
00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:44.360
that they're fully masculine, they're fully, you know,

671
00:44:44.360 --> 00:44:45.880
whatever, you know, if you're talking to a guy,

672
00:44:45.880 --> 00:44:49.720
cause I've had that interaction with that guy

673
00:44:50.240 --> 00:44:51.920
that I gave a testimony about, you know,

674
00:44:51.920 --> 00:44:56.040
for that guy at work, bit of a bully.

675
00:44:56.040 --> 00:44:56.880
Yeah, yeah, right.

676
00:44:56.880 --> 00:44:59.200
And so that's how I interacted with him as well.

677
00:44:59.200 --> 00:45:00.040
And I'm telling.

678
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.800
what everything turned full, uh, turned completely upside down.

679
00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:04.240
Right.

680
00:45:04.240 --> 00:45:07.000
I completely changed the situation because I spoke to who it,

681
00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:08.100
and he wasn't even a Christian.

682
00:45:08.100 --> 00:45:13.840
He was, I don't know if he's Hindu or what he'd like 120 gods or something.

683
00:45:13.840 --> 00:45:16.800
I mean, it's just wild, you know, cause he's from India anyway.

684
00:45:16.980 --> 00:45:21.140
So, and I would just speak to that and I'm telling you, he just, it's like he

685
00:45:21.140 --> 00:45:26.540
would, he could see that I saw him and he felt valued for who it is that he was.

686
00:45:26.540 --> 00:45:29.960
And so that helped calm him down where he didn't have to feel like

687
00:45:29.960 --> 00:45:31.680
he had to defend himself with me.

688
00:45:31.680 --> 00:45:38.080
He saw that I valued him for who it is that he truly was, not for how he

689
00:45:38.120 --> 00:45:41.880
could out smart or out best me or whatever.

690
00:45:42.120 --> 00:45:42.400
Anyway.

691
00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:46.840
So that's just one example, but, um, and the only way to do that is

692
00:45:46.840 --> 00:45:48.460
to actually truly believe it.

693
00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:53.200
And then because that's how you see them, not because you're trying to can, not

694
00:45:53.200 --> 00:45:58.540
because you have an agenda to get them to feel like they are what you wish

695
00:45:58.540 --> 00:45:59.860
that they knew about themselves.

696
00:45:59.860 --> 00:46:00.520
That won't work.

697
00:46:00.900 --> 00:46:05.220
You have to be the one whose mind has changed about who they are and

698
00:46:05.220 --> 00:46:06.740
then interact with that person.

699
00:46:07.100 --> 00:46:10.820
And then they will change themselves as opposed to, oh, I wish that

700
00:46:10.820 --> 00:46:12.340
they knew this about themselves.

701
00:46:12.340 --> 00:46:16.340
What can I do to get them to realize that that's not who they are?

702
00:46:16.600 --> 00:46:17.780
We can't have an agenda.

703
00:46:17.780 --> 00:46:18.460
It won't work.

704
00:46:18.740 --> 00:46:21.260
They smell at them, you know, smell it a million miles away.

705
00:46:21.260 --> 00:46:23.640
They smell the disingenuineness of it.

706
00:46:23.640 --> 00:46:25.320
They smell the insincerity of it.

707
00:46:25.320 --> 00:46:29.680
They smell that we're trying to convince ourselves while we're talking to them.

708
00:46:30.560 --> 00:46:31.240
And that just didn't work.

709
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:35.160
So anyway, that's a shockingly powerful.

710
00:46:36.280 --> 00:46:36.880
Okay.

711
00:46:37.320 --> 00:46:37.820
Yeah.

712
00:46:37.960 --> 00:46:42.920
The change and how you see them and who they are to you.

713
00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:44.120
So speak.

714
00:46:44.200 --> 00:46:44.700
Okay.

715
00:46:45.120 --> 00:46:48.560
Well, um, that's good.

716
00:46:48.560 --> 00:46:49.160
Change yourself.

717
00:46:49.160 --> 00:46:49.960
How you see them.

718
00:46:50.220 --> 00:46:57.100
Yeah, because I mean, I really, I mean, you know, I hope I'm right, but I feel

719
00:46:57.100 --> 00:47:05.380
like the Lord had put us together for a reason and, um, and, um, you know,

720
00:47:05.380 --> 00:47:07.900
has, has a reason for us to be together.

721
00:47:07.900 --> 00:47:13.020
And I mean, and I remember I used to even, I had this book because, um,

722
00:47:13.860 --> 00:47:14.620
what was it called?

723
00:47:14.620 --> 00:47:16.620
It was about, I forget.

724
00:47:16.960 --> 00:47:22.040
Well, when I found out like the pilgrims that came over to the U S they stopped

725
00:47:22.080 --> 00:47:25.680
and they were in Holland where my ancestors are from, and there's a town

726
00:47:25.680 --> 00:47:30.120
with my last name, and I just found out like four years ago or three years ago

727
00:47:30.240 --> 00:47:31.620
that they stopped in that town.

728
00:47:31.620 --> 00:47:33.480
And I got to go visit that town with my dad.

729
00:47:33.480 --> 00:47:38.200
I got to go to Holland and they, the pilgrim stayed in the town of Leiden

730
00:47:38.360 --> 00:47:41.640
lighted and got prepared to come to the U S.

731
00:47:42.380 --> 00:47:47.540
And then I found out some of my ancestors that had money started that town of

732
00:47:47.540 --> 00:47:49.540
Leiden started the university of Leiden.

733
00:47:49.740 --> 00:47:50.140
Yeah.

734
00:47:50.460 --> 00:47:54.660
And so when I found out that pilgrims were there and then Ken was, he's Spanish

735
00:47:54.660 --> 00:47:57.060
and he really knows a lot of his history.

736
00:47:57.460 --> 00:48:01.740
And so I had this book about the Spanish and, and the pilgrims.

737
00:48:01.740 --> 00:48:05.060
And anyway, so I used to just speak this really powerful thing over him.

738
00:48:05.700 --> 00:48:10.180
I'm kind of joking, but in a way, but I really wasn't joking because I saw in

739
00:48:10.200 --> 00:48:15.880
him something that I didn't, you know, I saw him as, I don't know this, I'd have

740
00:48:15.880 --> 00:48:22.360
to think about now what I'd say, but, um, but, but yeah, it's kind of like, like

741
00:48:22.360 --> 00:48:25.480
you said, you have to see them, but then, then I think I switched to more of, to

742
00:48:25.480 --> 00:48:27.440
a trying to make it, trying to make it work.

743
00:48:27.720 --> 00:48:32.040
But the truth is, you know, and then, but then Ken, there's something about him

744
00:48:32.040 --> 00:48:33.600
too, that he's always looking up.

745
00:48:33.920 --> 00:48:37.200
He's got a hunger for net for natural knowledge.

746
00:48:37.200 --> 00:48:40.660
I mean, he, uh, he always wanted, he always wants to know what's going on

747
00:48:40.660 --> 00:48:43.340
everywhere in the world and he's, and he's really smart.

748
00:48:43.860 --> 00:48:48.900
Um, and he knows a lot about a lot of things, but it's like his hunger.

749
00:48:48.900 --> 00:48:52.980
And I know the Lord had him switching like, like away from that film festival.

750
00:48:52.980 --> 00:48:55.340
It's just the morals and stuff of it anymore.

751
00:48:55.340 --> 00:48:59.740
And he put his kids in like private schools after nine 11 and he, there's

752
00:48:59.740 --> 00:49:02.580
something deep, there's a deep well in him, but it's kind of like, he's not,

753
00:49:03.040 --> 00:49:08.480
you know, and, and we pray together and, uh, but he is, you know, he, and he

754
00:49:08.480 --> 00:49:11.440
let me pray for him when we got back together to kind of get baptized in the

755
00:49:11.440 --> 00:49:15.400
spirit and he was genuine about it, but he didn't, and I feel like he got, he

756
00:49:15.400 --> 00:49:18.800
really gets, he's, he's filled, but he didn't start speaking in tongues or

757
00:49:18.800 --> 00:49:20.200
anything, you know, did I lose you?

758
00:49:21.240 --> 00:49:21.920
I'm sorry.

759
00:49:22.920 --> 00:49:28.120
No, I was trying to hit the volume and I accidentally hit the video button.

760
00:49:28.120 --> 00:49:29.400
I was like, Oh no, did I lose there?

761
00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:30.120
No, I'm here.

762
00:49:30.160 --> 00:49:31.240
I'm just trying to hit the volume.

763
00:49:31.780 --> 00:49:33.260
Yeah, it's almost, yeah.

764
00:49:33.260 --> 00:49:36.460
You know, he was real genuine there when we got back together and wanting to do

765
00:49:36.460 --> 00:49:40.480
things, but then it just kind of seems like it goes back to same old, you know?

766
00:49:40.900 --> 00:49:43.060
Um, so I've just had to kind of wade through all this.

767
00:49:43.060 --> 00:49:45.500
Meanwhile, though, I'm getting healing and that's the good part.

768
00:49:45.500 --> 00:49:47.700
It's just knowing how to navigate this.

769
00:49:47.700 --> 00:49:49.420
And it's like, Lord, did I really hear you?

770
00:49:49.420 --> 00:49:51.940
Or do I really hear you that I'm really supposed to work on this?

771
00:49:51.940 --> 00:49:57.340
Cause you know, um, you know, and it's, it's just, it is kind of hard because

772
00:49:57.340 --> 00:50:00.060
now you put some more things to it that I hadn't seen.

773
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:11.000
You know, and then he has that close, close relationship with his children, because he it's kind of his culture and he had moved them back in with him when his wife got sick with cancer.

774
00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:24.000
And plus he brought them all here from New Mexico where he was from years back so I mean they're pretty, they're pretty intertwined you know I mean like, so, and I know that you know and I've had to.

775
00:50:24.000 --> 00:50:41.000
I've had to. And I love them, you know, or. Yeah. So anyway, just any any more suggestions you have about navigating this, and that, you know how he's feeling all of this like okay well I don't know a few different things.

776
00:50:42.000 --> 00:51:00.000
I was talking to someone else about this again on is about because they were asking about relationships with, like, family and stuff like that, and I was recommending I say what you want to what, because this goes with anyone any just relationships

777
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:08.000
with people but the reason I mentioned that it was family is because obviously that's just ultra emotional, you know, can I say, can I say one thing.

778
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:24.000
Yeah, even and even my and I and I shouldn't go back to this but my naturopathic doctor she goes oh gosh Karen when I told her about kids she goes, he is Spanish and he's got Native American and he's got so you know Sephardic Jew and she said,

779
00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:32.000
all of those heritages I think all three are so intertwined with family sometimes to an unrighteousness.

780
00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:36.000
And so, so anyway so so there's just.

781
00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:49.000
Yeah, so it just feels like sometimes actually a lot to overcome all my stuff and all this stuff and it's kind of like, you know, and it's like we just kind of feel like we're in, it feels to me like we're kind of two different worlds because I'm always, you know, I'm

782
00:51:49.000 --> 00:52:04.000
always listening to, you know, just, you know, and he doesn't mind listening to stuff I listened to and and and Dale Shannon I do you know some ascension, some ascension groups and and and I'm getting healing and I'm always, he doesn't but he doesn't really

783
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:17.000
he doesn't really get into it like he did for a while and then he doesn't now. So that's the other thing but, and he started going back to a church that he used to go to when I met him which is a pretty good church, but then sometimes he.

784
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:25.000
It's, it's kind of early and it's all the way in Columbia, and sometimes one morning, he was here and he got up and he just left.

785
00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:30.000
I thought we were going together, and I go where'd you go and he goes well, you weren't ready.

786
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:35.000
I mean he does these things I'm like, I was five minutes away from being ready in the bathroom.

787
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:40.000
Well go just jump in the car and come on up, and I'm like, he just does some.

788
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:47.000
So I'm just trying to figure out does he just need to be going to church by himself for a while maybe, maybe he needs that. So I'm trying so anyway.

789
00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:48.000
Now you go ahead.

790
00:52:48.000 --> 00:53:08.000
So, you know, it's just again that whole lack of like not needing or needing no pressure, and then needing you, you know, his need for you to be his choice, like, as opposed to an obligation, and by an obligation meaning emotion I'm talking about an emotional

791
00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:25.000
obligation like okay what does that have to do whatever. And that's just something that he has to do because it can be someone, it can be his response to life, thinking that he always emotionally obligated to things as opposed to making it his potential choice.

792
00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:40.000
And that's just something he has to work through. But, you know, on his side, but the thing is that this is just with people in general, but obviously people usually talk about it with husbands and wives on the wife side, and specifically is, and this is what I was

793
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:50.000
recommending to this to this lady said hey you know what if you're trying to develop your relationship with your family members or heal it or whatever.

794
00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:59.000
What you want to do is you want to make sure to enjoy you enjoy your life in, you know, own yourself decide what do I want to do what sounds fun to me.

795
00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:13.000
And then invite people to join you in it. Just have kind of like this, this openness where people are welcome, and people are welcome to join you doing it and to offer, you know, and invite them to do it intentionally or whatever and if they don't look

796
00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:24.000
and then go off and because that especially, you know, specifically talking between men and women is very attractive, where one's just doing her thing.

797
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:41.000
And then the guys like, well, you know, I want to be with her and you know just like she looks like she's having fun, as opposed to a woman who's like, Okay, what can we do together and he's always do something together and that well then that feels that feels stifling.

798
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:57.000
I'm not saying that you're doing that. I'm just saying that that's the extreme version, but with someone who's wounded in that area that even normal interaction can feel stifling, because they're hypersensitive to it and they've been wounded by it so.

799
00:54:57.000 --> 00:55:00.000
So anyway, so my point is that it's just, I don't know.

800
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:09.240
No, but it sounds like all of this is like from not all of this, but like so much of it's like the intensity of it of his responses is just based off of his own.

801
00:55:09.680 --> 00:55:17.000
Just experience, and so the slightest little reminder can set off, you know we all do we all have our own issues with.

802
00:55:17.600 --> 00:55:27.040
You know, in areas where we struggle with that, so what I recommend I recommended that for her for her family and I would you know that she said that there was a major turnaround.

803
00:55:27.480 --> 00:55:34.440
With multiple family members, because she just chose to oh well, I can tell you who it is because she mentioned it on a on a.

804
00:55:35.960 --> 00:55:44.920
On a on her journey share it was we're not remember I don't know if you got to hear her most recent one where she said that she left the fan she you know left visiting her family.

805
00:55:45.360 --> 00:55:54.960
And she said she said, oh my word she said this was my relationship with my with my niece, and this is what I did I just chose to enjoy myself, I decided, I wanted to make a cake.

806
00:55:55.400 --> 00:56:02.480
And so, instead of me thinking like Oh, what can I do with my what can I do with my niece what will be fun for her okay.

807
00:56:02.880 --> 00:56:11.480
You know hey do you want to do a cake and all she doesn't want to do a cake with me or whatever she said, instead, I thought, what do I want to do, I want to make a cake.

808
00:56:12.200 --> 00:56:16.600
And i'll invite her to do it with me video whether or not she does it I still we're going to make a cake, because I want to make it.

809
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:24.840
that's what I want to do to enjoy me enjoy life to whatever and then it ended up that her niece that she'd been wanting to do stuff with wanted to do with her.

810
00:56:25.200 --> 00:56:32.320
Probably because spiritually she just felt like a lack of pressure, you know she says, so we ended up having fun and then this 18 year old.

811
00:56:32.880 --> 00:56:36.880
nephew of hers that she mentioned she's been trying to connect with him she's been telling us.

812
00:56:37.240 --> 00:56:43.320
And she was able to he suddenly brought her in you know to his to his room is that hey you know you want to see the thing i'm working on.

813
00:56:43.600 --> 00:56:53.080
And she said, before I know it, we start having a two hour conversation when I first was with him when I first arrived he didn't want to talk to me at all about anything.

814
00:56:53.920 --> 00:57:02.480
And he was just like completely closed off, let alone about any you know about any subject and he just didn't want to interact with me at all, and now he's inviting me.

815
00:57:02.920 --> 00:57:08.880
To know you know certain aspects of what's important to him in, including why he didn't why he doesn't believe in God anymore.

816
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:13.000
And why it's not following the Lord and whatever and that he would entrust his heart with her.

817
00:57:13.520 --> 00:57:18.720
And, and so that's just two examples so but I told her, I said, you know just I recommend.

818
00:57:19.120 --> 00:57:31.120
You know just remember own your own self own your own value, you know you're important so enjoy you that's how we act in faith God says that we are that what would we do, how would we live well i'd enjoy me.

819
00:57:31.560 --> 00:57:39.880
You know, but you're still wanting that connection so that you choose you first and from you, you now, now that you own you, you now have you to offer.

820
00:57:40.520 --> 00:57:48.360
hey would you like to do this with me, would you, you know so i'm going to do it as opposed to all of this pressure, whatever as hard as that is for a husband and wife.

821
00:57:49.200 --> 00:57:59.320
Because you want it to you want to have you feel like it's going to actually create a disconnect like they're going to say no, I don't want to do that with you like we have it we're husband wife are supposed to like.

822
00:57:59.880 --> 00:58:04.120
have connection and whatever what you're doing is you're laying a foundation.

823
00:58:04.840 --> 00:58:14.120
There is no pressure, so that now he can choose to join to help you build the connection, instead of it being on your shoulders to work.

824
00:58:14.400 --> 00:58:23.600
To always trying to provide the connection what you do is you provide a connection opportunity and that he as the man can take the initiative.

825
00:58:24.200 --> 00:58:30.400
and join if he wants to so anyway if that'll if you think that that might help and as an idea.

826
00:58:32.320 --> 00:58:35.760
that's yeah that's good that's good yeah.

827
00:58:36.800 --> 00:58:37.280
yeah but.

828
00:58:37.520 --> 00:58:43.960
So whether you can see how to step out in faith with something that God said he said that you are who he says that you are.

829
00:58:44.560 --> 00:58:54.440
And that you stand and then you stand in that and enjoy that and you delight in that and you live that and then no pressure you invite your your husband to be part of that.

830
00:58:54.920 --> 00:58:59.160
And at the beginning, it will be tested you're like no, no, I don't want to do that it's like okay.

831
00:58:59.920 --> 00:59:07.840
You know, because he needs to know, and so you just you just keep doing it, why, because you're choosing your life with God you're not choosing an outcome.

832
00:59:08.400 --> 00:59:19.120
And a oh i'm hoping this will get Ken to do this, we can't approach people with an agenda or it will not work, they smell it a mile away because it's disingenuous.

833
00:59:19.560 --> 00:59:29.120
it's not coming from the heart it's coming from an agenda we've created something that we've we've determined that we're trying to control an outcome.

834
00:59:30.120 --> 00:59:35.200
And that outcome is another person and nobody wants to be an outcome, no one wants to be a project.

835
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:45.200
So anyway, it's a way that you can start acting on faith and another huge thing and i'll mention this and then we'll go is that the.

836
00:59:45.720 --> 00:59:52.000
Is the most powerful thing you can do, and I know you already know this and just reminding us that you can pray.

837
00:59:52.000 --> 00:59:59.840
To pray for someone I know that Ken's not your enemy, but it even works for enemies like, in other words, people that you're having an emotional.

838
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.120
difficulty with, if you pray over them, very seriously, pray, praying blessings

839
01:00:06.120 --> 01:00:10.960
over them, not like conceptually like, oh yeah, Lord, please bless them or

840
01:00:10.960 --> 01:00:12.760
whatever, no, no, very seriously.

841
01:00:13.160 --> 01:00:16.720
You know, putting your, your heart and your intention into asking the Lord

842
01:00:16.720 --> 01:00:22.680
to bless these particular areas, not fix them, not God, please reveal, you

843
01:00:22.680 --> 01:00:26.000
know, to him, you know, his part in this or anything like that.

844
01:00:26.240 --> 01:00:29.760
So when I pray to the Lord about my husband, I don't pray that

845
01:00:29.760 --> 01:00:32.840
God will tell him anything specific.

846
01:00:33.320 --> 01:00:36.040
I pray that Lord, would you, would you reveal truth to him?

847
01:00:36.040 --> 01:00:37.360
Lord, would you heal him?

848
01:00:37.360 --> 01:00:38.600
Lord, would you, whatever?

849
01:00:38.600 --> 01:00:42.560
I don't, if he and I disagree on something, I don't ask the Lord to

850
01:00:42.560 --> 01:00:47.840
show him that what I believe about following the Lord is the right way.

851
01:00:48.080 --> 01:00:50.400
And then what he believes about following the Lord is the wrong way.

852
01:00:50.720 --> 01:00:51.760
I don't, I don't do that.

853
01:00:51.800 --> 01:00:53.400
I don't, I don't put.

854
01:00:54.280 --> 01:00:56.440
Uh, how would you, how would you put that?

855
01:00:56.440 --> 01:01:04.920
Um, uh, I don't, and is it, is it that I don't put God between me and my

856
01:01:04.920 --> 01:01:06.240
husband or something like that?

857
01:01:06.240 --> 01:01:12.560
I can't think of what it is, but anyway, I don't use my, um, I don't, uh, I don't.

858
01:01:14.080 --> 01:01:14.520
I don't know.

859
01:01:14.520 --> 01:01:17.560
It's almost the phrasing right now, but you know, so I don't do that.

860
01:01:17.560 --> 01:01:18.840
I don't manipulate that way.

861
01:01:21.240 --> 01:01:21.520
Right.

862
01:01:21.640 --> 01:01:27.120
So anyway, is it okay to say, you know, show him truth and just show him truth.

863
01:01:27.160 --> 01:01:30.560
You know, is that okay to say just Lord, show him your truth.

864
01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:34.400
You know, even if it's, if it's not what it is that I thought was true, Lord,

865
01:01:35.640 --> 01:01:38.880
because here's where you're, here's the point in the approach that you're

866
01:01:38.880 --> 01:01:44.920
praying from is Lord bless him regardless of his connection with me.

867
01:01:45.440 --> 01:01:45.840
Right.

868
01:01:46.040 --> 01:01:52.120
You're praying for him without praying with the intention of desire of, of an

869
01:01:52.160 --> 01:01:57.000
outcome with you and for how that's going to benefit you.

870
01:01:57.320 --> 01:01:58.080
It's complete.

871
01:01:58.160 --> 01:02:03.200
It's in a way, just connecting yourself as getting to benefit from.

872
01:02:04.320 --> 01:02:09.000
The outcome of what God will do in his life as a result of how much

873
01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:10.640
you're calling out blessing on him.

874
01:02:11.040 --> 01:02:14.600
So it's that kind of, you disconnect yourself from benefiting from his

875
01:02:14.600 --> 01:02:15.960
blessing that you're calling down.

876
01:02:16.800 --> 01:02:17.400
Is that kind of thing?

877
01:02:17.400 --> 01:02:21.160
That's how I pray to the Lord about, about my husband and stuff like that.

878
01:02:21.160 --> 01:02:25.040
And so that keeps me from spiritually or emotionally manipulating things.

879
01:02:25.200 --> 01:02:25.480
Right.

880
01:02:26.440 --> 01:02:30.120
Just simply because I disagree with him about something or whatever.

881
01:02:30.120 --> 01:02:31.760
And, you know, we all pray to Lord about that.

882
01:02:31.760 --> 01:02:37.240
Well, Lord, you know, I'm hurt and Lord, what about, and I don't, I don't want to,

883
01:02:37.520 --> 01:02:43.880
um, I don't want to pray any kind of like a white witchcraft prayer.

884
01:02:44.400 --> 01:02:44.640
Yeah.

885
01:02:44.680 --> 01:02:48.440
Where it's like, oh, I'm praying and I'm using the word God, but

886
01:02:48.440 --> 01:02:50.400
I'm trying to manipulation.

887
01:02:50.960 --> 01:02:51.160
Right.

888
01:02:51.160 --> 01:02:51.440
You know?

889
01:02:51.800 --> 01:03:01.320
So, um, uh, so anyway, I, that, that will change your heart even of things that.

890
01:03:01.880 --> 01:03:05.600
And he won't be as hurt by him.

891
01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:07.960
If you actually pray for him.

892
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:11.560
I mean, that's what heals our relationships and our hearts towards

893
01:03:11.560 --> 01:03:13.240
our enemies and allows us to love them.

894
01:03:13.240 --> 01:03:14.200
I'm not saying tend to your enemy.

895
01:03:14.200 --> 01:03:17.000
I'm saying like, even in the extreme version, what God talks about in the

896
01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:20.680
Bible about pray for your enemies, you know, I mean, that's what changes our

897
01:03:20.680 --> 01:03:24.800
hearts towards them is by praying for them, by praying for them and being

898
01:03:24.800 --> 01:03:26.800
very sincere, not praying conceptually.

899
01:03:26.800 --> 01:03:27.280
Like I know.

900
01:03:28.360 --> 01:03:32.240
No, very sincerely, whatever it is that you can pray, sincerely pray that.

901
01:03:32.240 --> 01:03:35.280
And then the longer that you pray, the more sincere you'll be.

902
01:03:35.760 --> 01:03:39.800
And the more, um, and the more that you, the more of the specific.

903
01:03:40.360 --> 01:03:44.360
Types of powerful spiritual blessings should be praying over them and that

904
01:03:44.360 --> 01:03:46.320
will transform you and it will transform them.

905
01:03:47.840 --> 01:03:48.480
That's good.

906
01:03:48.600 --> 01:03:52.240
And then the family with the family, you think just keep praying for them too.

907
01:03:52.320 --> 01:03:55.560
And, and then maybe ask the Lord, ask the Lord what to do.

908
01:03:56.040 --> 01:03:56.560
Yes.

909
01:03:56.600 --> 01:03:57.080
Yeah.

910
01:03:57.280 --> 01:03:58.320
Yeah, absolutely.

911
01:03:58.360 --> 01:03:58.560
Yeah.

912
01:03:58.560 --> 01:03:59.280
The same thing.

913
01:03:59.320 --> 01:04:03.760
Um, and I mean, yeah, yeah.

914
01:04:04.520 --> 01:04:04.800
Okay.

915
01:04:04.840 --> 01:04:05.360
Exactly.

916
01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:06.440
Okay.

917
01:04:07.280 --> 01:04:07.880
I'm sorry.

918
01:04:08.280 --> 01:04:13.720
You're going through a lot of pain and a lot of hurt and, um, but you've, uh, I

919
01:04:13.720 --> 01:04:19.280
don't know, you've just made leaps and bounds and, and it looks like to me and

920
01:04:19.600 --> 01:04:24.760
in healing and transforming, um, you know, over the past several weeks, I'm

921
01:04:24.760 --> 01:04:26.880
so excited for you that you have that.

922
01:04:27.320 --> 01:04:29.760
And I'm telling you what, you're such a blessing in the group.

923
01:04:29.800 --> 01:04:33.040
Thank you so much for just who it is that you are and how much you always

924
01:04:33.040 --> 01:04:37.400
love on everyone and that you have shared the tips that have helped you

925
01:04:37.400 --> 01:04:40.880
because I've noticed, you know, we've, as I've called out, you know, in the

926
01:04:40.880 --> 01:04:43.400
group that they've helped other people as well.

927
01:04:43.800 --> 01:04:46.920
And, uh, in fact, I'm planning on doing, like I told you, I'm

928
01:04:46.920 --> 01:04:48.840
planning on doing the journal thing.

929
01:04:48.880 --> 01:04:54.520
And, um, and part of what I'm planning to include in that is the part that you

930
01:04:54.520 --> 01:04:59.200
said was so helpful for you that someone had, had told you about like, Oh, if

931
01:04:59.200 --> 01:04:59.960
you're struggling to hear.

932
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.120
the Lord, it's easier, you can start hearing it more clearly

933
01:05:03.120 --> 01:05:05.880
to start writing it down. I was like, that is a great idea. And

934
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:08.520
then you said that it helps you. And then Tammy said she started

935
01:05:08.520 --> 01:05:10.960
doing it on your recommendation, started helping her. So I'm

936
01:05:10.960 --> 01:05:13.840
like, this sounds like a real positive thing, a positive

937
01:05:13.840 --> 01:05:18.080
exercise to include. So thank you. You're helping so many

938
01:05:18.080 --> 01:05:18.800
people.

939
01:05:19.120 --> 01:05:22.040
Thank you. Well, that Yeah, someone told me Yeah, that I

940
01:05:22.040 --> 01:05:24.760
should teach on there or something. But it was just I

941
01:05:24.760 --> 01:05:27.000
imparted to lots of people wherever I go, because it helped

942
01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:30.880
me so much. That's great. Yeah, it changed my life. Really?

943
01:05:30.920 --> 01:05:35.720
Yeah, that's good. 30 minute teaching. I remember the name. I

944
01:05:35.720 --> 01:05:40.040
remember. Yeah, yeah. Very cool. Well, what was what was her

945
01:05:40.040 --> 01:05:43.400
name? Maybe I can find the teaching. It was TBN. Linda

946
01:05:43.400 --> 01:05:50.320
Makovitz. 25 years ago. Okay. Yeah, maybe we can find it. All

947
01:05:50.320 --> 01:05:55.240
right. I just simplified. Yeah, yeah, there you go. I simplify

948
01:05:55.240 --> 01:06:00.040
and pass it along. And yeah. Okay, well, thank you. I taught

949
01:06:00.040 --> 01:06:03.200
some leaders that two months in that when I was doing celebrate

950
01:06:03.200 --> 01:06:06.880
recovery. And, and yeah, it seems to be helpful. And, you

951
01:06:06.880 --> 01:06:09.560
know, I'm like one of those I got to pass on what I get, you

952
01:06:09.560 --> 01:06:15.880
know, yeah. I've got to flow. You know, like a river. That's

953
01:06:15.880 --> 01:06:17.240
right. That'd be rare.

954
01:06:19.240 --> 01:06:22.760
It's good to get to visit with you, Karen and catch up, get to

955
01:06:22.760 --> 01:06:26.360
hear all the updates and celebrate all of your

956
01:06:26.360 --> 01:06:29.240
transformation. Thank you. There's two conferences this

957
01:06:29.240 --> 01:06:31.480
weekend and next weekend at Cedar Creek. So I'm going to get

958
01:06:31.480 --> 01:06:34.520
to go spend two weekends with Cedar Creek. And probably Ken

959
01:06:34.520 --> 01:06:38.480
won't come and that's fine. And he's invited to a little you

960
01:06:38.480 --> 01:06:40.160
know, if he wants to come for a meeting or something, but you

961
01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:44.200
know what, I'm just going to go have fun. Great. By the way,

962
01:06:44.200 --> 01:06:47.760
you're going to go see some friends of Ed's and mine. Etienne

963
01:06:47.760 --> 01:06:54.640
Bloom. Okay. Yeah. He officiated our wedding. Oh,

964
01:06:54.640 --> 01:06:59.760
you're kidding me. Oh, how cool is that? Yeah. Okay. And yeah,

965
01:06:59.800 --> 01:07:02.560
oh my gosh, that's so probably be your favorite. He's great.

966
01:07:03.120 --> 01:07:06.960
Okay, I'm excited. Hey, okay. And then we get another meeting

967
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:12.400
next week. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So how's your schedule for that?

968
01:07:12.440 --> 01:07:15.280
Because I might be traveling. I'm not really sure that we

969
01:07:15.280 --> 01:07:18.680
might be traveling to see Etienne in Charlotte, but we're

970
01:07:18.680 --> 01:07:24.680
not sure. Anyway. You can't come out here. We thought about

971
01:07:24.680 --> 01:07:28.280
that. But I have a I have a conference this weekend in

972
01:07:28.280 --> 01:07:32.160
Dallas. Yeah, it was actually gifted to me by one of the rest

973
01:07:32.160 --> 01:07:34.880
intensive members. They had an extra ticket to this conference

974
01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:37.360
and they saw that I was in Dallas. So they gifted it to me

975
01:07:37.360 --> 01:07:41.960
in that kind. That is. So I was like, well, I need to honor it

976
01:07:42.040 --> 01:07:45.600
be in town. Yeah. So I'm very excited. I've been wanting to do

977
01:07:45.600 --> 01:07:49.560
it. But yeah. Very cool. Okay. Kate, can you send me this

978
01:07:49.560 --> 01:07:54.200
recording? Yeah. So what's going to happen is I'm going to upload

979
01:07:54.200 --> 01:07:57.040
it to the platform. And just like the rest intensive is a

980
01:07:57.040 --> 01:08:00.160
group, there's going to be another group that's going to

981
01:08:00.160 --> 01:08:04.080
just be your name, and you're the only one that'll see it. And

982
01:08:04.080 --> 01:08:07.480
that's where I am uploading everybody's transformation

983
01:08:07.480 --> 01:08:10.760
sessions is I'm creating their own groups like just with their

984
01:08:10.760 --> 01:08:13.800
name. And that's where all their transformation sessions

985
01:08:13.800 --> 01:08:16.399
are. They're private. You're the only one who has access to

986
01:08:16.399 --> 01:08:19.680
them. Where will I find it under? It's on the platform. So

987
01:08:19.680 --> 01:08:25.479
if you go to members.is.rest. Yeah. And then you in the before

988
01:08:25.479 --> 01:08:28.359
you you know how you go to a specific place and then you see

989
01:08:28.359 --> 01:08:32.520
to click on rest intensive. Instead of rest intensive next

990
01:08:32.520 --> 01:08:36.479
to it. It'll say Karen Layton's. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. And you

991
01:08:36.479 --> 01:08:40.920
click to open. So it's almost like a group. Okay, called

992
01:08:40.920 --> 01:08:43.880
Karen Layton. That's where all of your transformation sessions

993
01:08:43.880 --> 01:08:46.359
are going. Okay. Well, that Yeah, if you can get it on the

994
01:08:46.359 --> 01:08:48.439
sooner you get it on the better. I'm going to listen to this one

995
01:08:48.439 --> 01:08:52.240
again. Oh, good. Yes. Well, I finally got an internet right

996
01:08:52.240 --> 01:08:57.080
before you right before our meeting. I got my hot spot. I'm

997
01:08:57.080 --> 01:09:02.200
so grateful. Hopefully I'm right after this call was when I was

998
01:09:02.200 --> 01:09:07.359
going to finally test to see if I can upload. So anyway, so so

999
01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:13.040
maybe it'll be on pretty soon. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You think

1000
01:09:13.040 --> 01:09:15.000
about you might shoot me a little message and say I got it

1001
01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:18.160
uploaded because I guess I said very well. This is going to be

1002
01:09:18.160 --> 01:09:21.439
helpful to me. I'm so glad. Yeah, yeah. And I will. I'll

1003
01:09:21.439 --> 01:09:23.960
definitely let you know when it's up. I'll try to get up

1004
01:09:23.960 --> 01:09:28.680
here as soon as I can. You're a blessing. So are you Karen been

1005
01:09:28.680 --> 01:09:30.880
a delight to have in the group. Thank you so much for

1006
01:09:30.880 --> 01:09:35.680
everything. Thank you. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow.

1007
01:09:35.720 --> 01:09:36.960
Okay. Bye bye.