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Hello.

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Hi, how are you.

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Yeah, how are you

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good this morning I finally got a good night's pretty good night's sleep.

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Good. That's yeah. So how yes, going your sleep just overall, just like well, some better but then I had a conference again two weekends in a row.

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I got like a thing sticking straight up.

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Yeah, because I get home a little late. And, and then some things were going on and I just had two nights where I didn't sleep good at all.

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But, um, I'm sure something sorry.

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No, that's fine. I thought, Oh, are you sick. Is that a loss in bed.

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No.

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It's actually called Gabba Gabba pro.

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It's something my natural doctor recommended. It's all natural. Okay.

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Relaxing. Yeah. Oh, nice.

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I mean I don't feel much but, but it probably helps. Okay, you know, it's one of those things where you don't really notice it.

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Oh, okay. Yeah.

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But, well, what's going on. How are you doing I was so surprised to hear back from you so soon I was like what's happened. What's Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, um, I.

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Well someone else actually for the rest intensive did the same thing they reached out and they've got it one scheduled for tomorrow I'm going, my goodness Lord is there something in the air.

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So anyway, yeah. Well, you know it's okay several things have gone on one.

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The day we talked I think it was to two days ago.

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My goodness, I don't remember No, I think it was last week.

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I'm pretty sure I could be wrong but I think it was kind of, I'm, I'm getting I'm getting kind of mixed up but well I do know this, I know that it was before you were waiting on at something to close.

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And then I saw from a re listing that you did that it looks like it didn't close and then it had to go back on the market is that true.

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Um, well, no, that was, well, the one I yeah the one didn't close, but it didn't close, but anyway, I repost it so it's like she'd been praying about this and yeah, no, yeah, yeah.

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Anyway, that was about when we did it.

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happened or the day it happened or something.

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Okay, so we did talk. So two things I mean some things have still happened with me and with Ken, and how did we talk after Ken came over and acted so different, I think.

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I don't, I don't remember.

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I don't think he came over.

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It might have been the night we talked I don't remember now but anyway, he came over for dinner. And, yeah, that was after we talked because you told me about the upcoming dinner when we talk.

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Yeah.

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And you and when he when he came he acted, he just acted he just wasn't talking a whole lot and he acted kind of different and then he just came and rested on the couch and I was just, I was glad you, we talked about what we did because seeing him as capable and

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he went to leave and he didn't, you know, I mean, he just didn't act very affectionate, and, and, I mean usually we might kiss each other.

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Yeah, even if he's leaving.

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And then he just kissed me on the cheek.

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And then, then we hugged each other and he just kind of held on for a little bit so I was just kind of releasing that you're capable, you know, and love and and trying to release positive things but I could just tell him.

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And he went out the door and I said, you know, are you okay, and he said, Well, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing.

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And I said, Okay, and he said he said I love you and I said I love you.

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And then I talked to Dale Shannon because it really hit me kind of hard you know because it was just kind of like, all of a sudden, there's no affection he's acting different, and you know it's probably a good thing but yet it hit me hard you know because

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we've been spending quite a bit time together.

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Right before that we had been spending we've been having, you know, he'd stayed over here for almost a whole week. Oh, I mean, you know, I mean he would stay at his.

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You know, stay at his.

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that his, uh, his other, his house, I guess he calls it his house now.

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He would stay there sometimes, but yeah, he would stay over here.

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And yeah, he had stayed over quite a bit.

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We had done quite a bit.

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We, you know, so it was just kind of a big one 80.

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So it hit me hard that night.

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I did some writing.

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I did some crying.

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I did some blah, blah, blah.

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So I talked to Dale about it, but then I had a dream and it showed, I

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don't think I told you this, all these accusations coming against him.

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Oh, um, yeah.

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All these accusations coming against our marriage.

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Yeah.

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And, um, so anyway, so I had a Dale interpreted the dream and we prayed,

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but then this, and then he was at the, he was at that conference.

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He went to that conference that weekend and we talked after that.

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And it was kind of awkward.

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Well, then, um, there was another conference this weekend,

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Dwight, Dwight and Greg.

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So we had two weekends in a row.

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So, so Ken was there, which was a good thing.

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Cause you know, okay, here's what happened to, um, I asked one of the girls

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who, who's kind of put the conference together, I've known her a while, but

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we've never spent any one on one time.

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And I, we talked about it, but I said, she came in the whole, she stayed the

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whole week from the last conference.

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I said, do you want to have lunch this week?

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Yeah.

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So we, we had lunch Thursday, I think she came to my town anyway.

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And so we're catching up on things and she's married, but her husband's a truck

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driver so that he's only home like six nights a month.

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And I've met him.

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He's been to one or two conferences, but he doesn't come to a lot of them.

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And so she had some wisdom for me, but all of a sudden she said, do you mind

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me asking how things are going with Ken?

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And I said, no, not at all.

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And she said, I had a vision before I came of like four people

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and two of them were you and Ken.

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So I knew I was going to spend some time or she said, and I've always

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wanted to spend time with you.

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And it's never worked out.

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And I've always admired you.

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And she was just real.

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It's kind and sweet.

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And, um, she is kind and sweet and, uh, she got a lot of wisdom

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and she also counseled some people.

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So I told her a little bit about what's happened.

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And, um, no, I told her about, you know, all this stuff I'm going through

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and all the healing I'm going through.

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And then all that I saw him as a child and God was, you know,

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there was places wounded.

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And so we prayed together when we left, she prayed for me.

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And we also prayed God, you know, just poured that blood of

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Jesus over Ken and, and two, because that's what the God had

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showed me to do is just, I just imagine myself.

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I'm with Yeshua.

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We just pour his blood over me where I'm wounded and my

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bloodline and then over him too.

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And she just, she just really prayed, you know, that would

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heal him in his bloodline.

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And she's had God do some miraculous stuff, like in her.

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With her daughters and stuff.

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And he's in, and she's given, she's got strategy of how to pray for her

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husband and, and, uh, but anyway, so we, we had, uh, and she said,

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Karen, I have to tell you at the conference last weekend, he sat

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down to eat with me or eat by me.

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It was a group of people.

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She said, and, and I, you know, I, he was, I think I was at the next

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table cause I, and I was glad he was talking to her.

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Um, I was kind of thinking that, you know, cause she's just got

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Carrie's wisdom and she said at one point, she said, he sat down

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again near me and one point we got to talk two of us.

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And he said something like something that he still had a lot of wounds

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from his first, from his wife passing.

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And, and, uh, she said what she was led to tell him is, you

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know, follow your dreams, Ken.

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And she said, he started crying.

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And so long story short, I guess they talked a little more and

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she offered to counsel him.

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Um, so she told me that what we're saying, so I invited her and she

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told me that she offered to Ken and he called while she was in the

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bathroom while we were together.

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Oh, wow.

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So, you know, I'm glad he's reached out to somebody.

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Yeah.

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And she's not an official counselor, but she counsels people.

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I mean, she, I think she has some, I think she has some accreditation,

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but she, it hasn't been her business.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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So, so anyway, so I was really glad to hear that.

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Good.

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Yeah.

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And then he came to the meetings and it was pretty good.

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It was, it was, um, look, the meetings were awesome.

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Um, and Ken, I think got a lot from it, but you know, um, he even invite, well,

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one time Dwight invited me to sit with him to eat and we were all laughing

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and we were talking about you, we brought you up and, and, uh, so Ken

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and I don't know, six or six of us, it was like the younger people, um,

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we're all laughing and Ken tends, this is another thing he tends to hang out

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with young people, which is, I think some of it, yeah, I don't know what

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that all is about, but he doesn't have hardly any friends, his age, like one

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friend, but I mean, he, yeah.

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So there's something in him that, and there was a new guy there from India.

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neat guy and Ken then invited me afterwards they were going to an after party and Ken invited me

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he said hey we gotta come up to the A-frame and so he invited me so I went for about an hour because

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I didn't want to stay up too late but he's drawn to that young young guy and he's just talking to

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him the whole time that I was there and I had already connected with this guy too he's a really

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neat guy um and uh but he invited he you know he's the one that invited me over there and

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and uh and his daughter his daughter works at Cedar Creek now okay Ken's daughter got hired

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there and and she's in charge of uh of uh payroll and you doing different things and I'm the one

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that kind of I spoke a word to her in the fall and said I think you're going to get a job here

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and she said yeah I had a dream I got hired here so she had got already showed her she was going

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to apply for this lower job and I said no it's the other job and she ended up getting it so

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and she was also working sound with the girl that Michelle that's going to counsel Ken

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they were working sound together so anyway oh Michelle are we talking about Michelle Sparks

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oh yeah she knows you real well yes yeah I know a show because when you talk about a truck driver

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I'm like well that sounds like Michelle Sparks I'm like oh Ashley you know there's lots of people

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who have truck drivers for husbands it is I know Michelle really well you know she lives here in

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Dallas and so oh yeah we've gotten together I've gone to her house I know her girls yeah

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yeah she told me she told me she was kind of in a way mentored by you yeah I mean she yeah yeah

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yeah she put it somehow like yeah so she really respects you she is isn't she yes she's very

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special um oh my friend Shelly Lemon just texted I really miss you darlings oh that's sweet oh I

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know yeah you know Shelly yeah yeah she came to the same conference you know that the uh

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enter his rest conference and so she uh uh and her husband uh Kevin and their kids they all hung

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out for a while and so I got to know him a little bit but yeah go ahead yeah so anyway so so the

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conference was good I know I know uh in fact um um so yeah it went good and and everything

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went well but at the end I was just again uh just Dwight was talking about how he has helped a lot

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of people and I know do I don't do you know Dwight I don't know him well I know who I know him I've

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met him but I don't know him well or anything I just hang out with him a bit at Chris Black

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of Youth Conference oh yeah I mean he's been here we've had okay we've had Shabbat dinners with him

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and several other people here at my house a few times and he in fact he has a big vision and he

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released it at my house to all of us on a big screen and I got to so I was the first person

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that sewed into his vision and so where I call him another my other brother you know and I call

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Shelly's husband my brother too those two are my like my brother so so Dwight's like my brother and

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he kind of released his vision a long time ago one day with me and my roommate Sharon he said I

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hardly ever tell anybody this and he just told us all kinds of things so so we kind of have a

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connection right and he just he this was an unconference conference it was just supposed to

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be the Lord doing whatever he wanted to do but Dwight pulls things out of you he has you right

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down your visions your dreams your intentions your and he did this at the first one in December

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and then he did it again but this time I mean it was just amazing some of the

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the you know he's teaching us to release everything because we're bringing in everything

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it's not him it's we're doing it together and then Greg taught twice on Hebrew but his Hebrew

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went right in with whatever the Lord was doing and it was really amazing but what Dwight realized

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at the end there he said I think everybody here is called to create wealth for the kingdom

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and so and it was real small these these with with Dwight have been real small like 20 or less

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people are around there and and Dwight's just so real and and then you know he's he has this gift

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too like he'll he'll show somebody his camera because he feels led to show him and next thing

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they'll go buy one and that's now their business that's it turned into this huge business he just

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he just has this gift of so anyway so I I'm really feeling led to

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maybe Dwight or I don't know Dale might the one that's mentored me to really um

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do direct some more direct coaching some you know type of coaching life you know mentoring and so

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I felt real led to talk to Dwight and I said Dwight I said I I just feel led I I need to dive

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in deeper with some stuff and he said oh gosh and see he said some things that were kind of

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hard for me to hear so I've been digesting them since

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it's like saturday he said well karen yes he said he said it's time he said he said um oh gosh and i

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was going to write it all down i haven't written it out yet but he said it's i can remember what

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i need to tell you it's time he said the lord um and and you're right but he's you're ripe he said

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but the lord says you've you've been too strong you're strong and you you can do things you can

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do things and get things done and you don't even need the lord because you are just that you know

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if you want something done you just you know get you can and he said in your uh he said but

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you have power and you have authority he said and that authority's got to be harnessed and he said

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and you also um and we've talked i think about this too but need to trust the lord

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um more and come to him like a child because you know um he said and um

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he said yeah because he said um what else did he say he said um lord help me here

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rock help me remember he said um because you're you know you've just

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you you know basically you know you've done it with kind of without trusting the lord and

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without coming to him like a child and you're just so strong he said and people are intimidated by you

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um because you you know and so a little later we talked and i said why would you pray about maybe

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doing some classes with me because he's doing some mentoring now he's mentoring two people

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and i went to the pre-class where they offered it but it was through it was through these other

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people promoting him and if i do it i'd rather just pay him and do it with him yeah you know um

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so he's praying about it and i'm praying about it um but then he came to me and he said karen yeah

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you i see you know you're you're this real estate's just a job you're you're called to

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create wealth i see you speaking he said but you're like god's got to get you know um

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he said because this stuff if you know he just said okay it's dangerous this stuff could take

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you out if you're not you know if you're not ready and and uh i didn't tape what he said

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the second time but i wish i would because then he started elaborating on more stuff and you're

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you know like a stallion and and you know and he said the real karen this is what he said the real

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karen is just not it's just is ready to come i can't wait to come out yeah so anyway so i just

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wanted to see i just felt like i was supposed to share with you and see what advice you have me

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plus kens it's kens really on my heart yet it's been bothering me some too does you know i don't

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know where that's going to go um and then we're also doing this class together so we leave the

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conference and we both meet at this other class we know we're going to it's about we the people

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this other thing we're involved in that i think is going to go across the nation it's about us

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there's a there's really a way we can take our rights back that they left that's never been done

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that's starting to happen alaska already did it michigan did it their state by state 38 states are

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working on it right now i mean they're actually we're doing it at my spiritual mom's church is

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where we're meeting and she's a whole bunch of her small churches all on board and my good guru

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friend started it all and um wanted me to help head it up i'm like no i'll be like the whatever

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but you're later but so yeah yeah and i'll i'll help recruit people and stuff but but it's it's

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kind of anyway it's a another deal but it's um but anyway so ken and ken's like i'll see you at

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the meeting so i see him there then his daughter's car broke down and he had to go back and help her

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and um and uh she's just a sweetheart and you know and they've got to spend more time together

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which is good um but anyway it's just you know with ken it's just like and now this you know

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and i'm feeling kind of like hey lord who do you want who do you want to who do you want to meet

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and ken and and this is the other thing dwight said you need someone to give you know like

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give you direct things to do and like you know you need you need some real mentoring some you

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know some what i forget the words he used you know where you're the discipline you know where you're

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challenged to do certain things to help to help you and and i and i think dwight has that goal

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because he mentors he also mentors several young men he's been doing that since he came to missouri

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to missouri wow okay one guy came here from texas it was only 21 moved in the same house

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with him working for greg and linda and he's been mentoring bryson for three years and yeah

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Yeah. So he, he mentors. Yeah. So anyway, I just wanted your

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thoughts on all this and what advice you have and your wisdom

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and because it's been a hard place. I have to admit, it's

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still, I still feel like I've been in a hard place. And I was

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just like, came home yesterday from work and that, you know,

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that deal didn't go through. Okay. And I'm working on other

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real estate stuff, but I just came home from shopping and, you

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know, I just wanted to, I just started crying. And I was just,

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I just want to start crying a little bit now too. And so I

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don't know, I don't know what else happening, but I know, I

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guess I need to submit and surrender more to the Lord.

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So first question that comes to mind is how would you describe

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the hard place? Like what is making the place where you are?

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Meaning emotionally with the Lord, with your situation,

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whatever, what is creating, what's the root of the pressure?

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Like what is making it hard? And let's start there.

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Okay. Well, interestingly enough today, I've been reading Jesus

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calling. I don't know if you ever read it. That's pretty

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good. Today. It was on just, just go through your day

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thanking him and saying, I trust you. And I think, I think part

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of the root of it is, is if I really down deep haven't trusted

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God, Ashley, I don't think I've trusted him.

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Yeah. Yeah, which is understandable. I mean, you

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know, I don't know your background, but I would just

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imagine that based off of how you have responded, it gives

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me, you had something to respond to, that there was that in your

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life, there weren't things that you could, especially in a

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foundational way that you could rely on. And so we project that

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then onto the Lord, because we don't know what it's like to be

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able to rely on the Lord. I mean, to rely on anything, let

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alone Lord.

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You know, sneeze.

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Excuse me.

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Thank you. It took a while to come out.

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But anyway, and so it's, like I said, if you have just, if you

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had in living life experience that, hey, I can't rely on or

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count on other people to be there, or to support or to help

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or to help execute or to stand with or whatever. If there's,

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if there's an unpredictability and an unreliability, then we

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don't expect, we don't have the experience to be able to expect

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that of God either. Because all those other people I'm sure said

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that they would do and be all those things. And then they

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weren't. So here's God saying he'll do and be those things.

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But why on earth would you expect that that's true?

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Because, you know, there's no, there's no precedence that, that

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that is actually a truth you can count on. And so anyway, it's,

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it's very, it's very understandable based on, you

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know, what I would imagine your past experience would be. And

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again, that's strictly based off of what it is that I know of you

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now. It's like, okay, well, that had to come from somewhere, this

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strength that Dwight's talking about. And I had always noticed

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that about you, especially during the inner is rest

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conference. I had seen it the first time I'd seen it, you

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know, at Chris's conference, because I don't know that you

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and I had met, but I'd like seeing you in the room and

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whatever. And, and I'm, and I have, I was, you know, some

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people call it, you know, prophetic and all of that. So

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regardless of what someone calls it, if someone says, Oh, well,

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that's the gift of prophecy or whatever, regardless, the Lord

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shows me things, I see things, I noticed things about people, my

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husband notices about people when he's not even with them,

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he'll just hear someone's name, or he'll get it even won't even

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hear their name, he'll get it, people talk about someone else,

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and he'll start getting pictures, and he'll start

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understanding things about people, me, I usually have to be

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in connection with them. So when I was in connection with you, in

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other words, when I was in the same room with you, or I began

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to talk to you, or whatever, immediately, this, the the

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impression that I got, even before I talked to you, was a

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tremendous amount of self reliant strength. And I don't

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say that in condemnation at all. It's just, you know, again, that

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all comes from somewhere that all comes from some from

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wanting to rely on other people, and them not having been there.

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So instead

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Uh, and you could have made a different choice.

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You could have made the choice of like giving up, but instead you push through.

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And that's the choice you made in life.

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Okay.

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I am, I want this for me, or I feel this is right, or I feel this is good.

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And I want to pursue what's right.

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I want to pursue what's good.

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And part of that, right.

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And part of that good is protecting me is pushing through and

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doing something to give me something.

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And the, and the, all of those things are good.

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So none of those things about you are bad.

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They're all wonderful.

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But the thing is that it can only get us so far.

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And it means you don't get all of the benefit of being of experience,

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being of experiencing, being loved on and protected and provided for by God,

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where you don't have to do it yourself.

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And then not only do you get all of the benefits with him that you have

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received in providing it for yourself, you get more than what you're limited

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to be able to provide for yourself.

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And you get more of the Lord.

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You get to experience him.

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You get to experience the, his follow through on what it is.

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He promised that he's going to do and promise that he, but it

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is that he's going to be for you.

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So I can completely, you know, agree with Dwight on so much of what he said.

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The other stuff, it's not that I disagree with it's just that I'm like, oh, well,

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I'm sure he knows Karen more than I do.

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I'm sure he's hearing more about from the Lord than I am right now.

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So, but of the pieces, you know, that there, there are so many things that he

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said, I'm like, oh, that is spot on.

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That's exactly, that's exactly right.

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So anyway, and again, it's all good.

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None of it's bad.

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It's all good.

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Um, you know what it reminds me of?

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It's not the same thing, but it's the same principle reminds

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me of Dr.

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Oh, telling someone, um, you know, Dr.

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Oh, you're familiar with Dr.

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Okay.

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So Dr.

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Oh, was telling someone who'd been able to see in their spirit, their whole life.

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It's someone that other people look at too, that goes around and teaches and

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those persons well-known and whatever.

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And they've seen each other.

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They've seen the Lord and other in, in the spirit realm and their

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engagement with the Lord, interacting with the Lord in the spirit realm.

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They've seen all of those things in, um, uh, how would you put it?

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They've seen all of those things, you know, in the spirit.

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And what he told them was, uh, he told them.

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You are going to have to learn to live it.

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You're going to have to learn faith because he said the relationship that

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you have with God of trusting him and believing him has been reliant on what

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you've seen said most, most people don't see like you do in the spirit.

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He told them, he said, one of the things that you haven't exercised is the faith

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that's required to please God is believing in when you can't see and not

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counting on any kind of evidence, because again, they weren't seeing it in the

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physical realm, they were seeing it in the spiritual realm and because they were

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seeing it in spiritual realm, they weren't relying on faith.

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So it was just a very interesting way in which their unique relationship with

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the Lord was re was requiring them to stretch in a way that they just weren't

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normally being, they weren't normally being stretched in.

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They didn't need to rely on faith.

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And, but faith was needed in their relationship with the Lord.

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So it reminds me of what Dwight was telling you of like, you don't need God.

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In so many ways in your life, meaning like you can do it without him because

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you're so capable now, sure.

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We all have limits and you can't do everything without God.

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But my point, my point was making the same point that he is of like, what it is that

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you can, that you've been able to do is know how to harness all of the things that

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God has created, all of these principles by which we can operate, et cetera.

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And you've been able to learn these things that God created, the laws that he

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created by which things should operate and, and know how to harness them.

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And then not only did you learn how to harness them, you actually had the

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courage to step out and risk yourself and your life and your business on

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actually doing the thing, and then you got the benefits of it.

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So those are all fascinating ways of honoring the Lord, which by the way, I

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will remind you that receives great benefit from, um, uh, how would you put

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that of believing God in a particular way?

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It reminds me of how, how you've lived your life reminds me of Deuteronomy.

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I don't remember if it's Deuteronomy two or Deuteronomy four.

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I think it's in Deuteronomy two, where it talks.

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where Moses is talking to the second group, the children of Israel that are the second go-around

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to try to get into Canaan. And so right before they go into Canaan, he is reminding them, hey,

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look, 40 years ago, your forefathers had the same opportunity that you did, but they didn't trust

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God. They didn't believe God. They didn't have faith. They were too scared. They didn't do it.

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But he said, understand, even the non-believers, in other words, the people that are your family

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members, they were the descendants of Lot, and they were the descendants of Esau, the Moabites,

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the Ammonites, and the Edomites. He said all three people groups were not chosen by God,

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and yet they conquered their lands. God offered it to your forefathers, and like point blank

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offered it. It's never mentioned it in the Bible that the Lord offered these three people groups

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the land that they conquered, and they had to conquer. In other words, they had to fight

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the same people group, the same giants that the Israelites were too afraid of. These three people

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groups who were not the chosen of God, it is not recorded in scripture that God ever promised them

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the land, but they looked at those same giants, and they, the Anakites, I believe is what they

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were called, and they believed that they could conquer them, and that they could have the land.

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But the Israelites, who got a point blank promise from God that they could do this,

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didn't believe they could, and so they didn't, you know. But anyway, these people, it's not

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mentioned how to promise from God, and yet they thought that they could, and therefore they did.

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And it said God himself gave them the land, and he even didn't allow the Israelites to set foot

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on that land, and it's the Israelites who were the chosen. So it mentions this either in Deuteronomy

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2 or Deuteronomy 4, I think it's Deuteronomy 2. Anyway, point is, that's what your life reminds me

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of, reminds me of these people, the Edomites, the Ammonites, and the Moabites, who were,

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who did it on their own, but know that they still had more faith than the Israelites,

425
00:32:20.720 --> 00:32:26.960
because they believed they could. They believed that is, in a manner of speaking, they believed

426
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:32.480
that God had given them that. Now maybe they didn't call it God, maybe they didn't think that

427
00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:36.720
there was some great being and some great creator that they were relying on to enable them to

428
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:41.360
conquer this land, but they didn't see that they couldn't do it. They're like, why not?

429
00:32:41.680 --> 00:32:46.880
And so they did it, and they're the ones who got the benefit. So that's what your life reminds me

430
00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:50.960
of. I say your life, I'm not talking about your whole life, I'm just talking about like the aspect,

431
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:55.840
you know, that Dwight's talking about, about these things that you have such capability and strength

432
00:32:55.840 --> 00:33:03.120
of doing. Understand that, yes, we do need to rely on the Lord, but before we talk about that,

433
00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:10.480
and before we talk about the faith, you need to know, and you need to be affirmed in the fact

434
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:19.440
that you have had your own measure of faith, that God was good, you stepped out in it,

435
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:24.880
and you got to reap the benefits. More than people who got it, more than,

436
00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:32.640
how do you put it, now you did it in your own strength, but you still believed God,

437
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:40.160
and therefore, and stood up and put works to it, in other words, actions to what it is you believed,

438
00:33:40.720 --> 00:33:46.960
it's like, why can't I work for this? Why can't I try this? Whatever. So what God wants to offer

439
00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:52.880
you though, is an extension of that. So he's pleased. He's pleased that you believed him to

440
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:58.720
that degree. He's pleased that you believed that there was no reason why you couldn't,

441
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:06.560
and why that would be denied you. So what Dwight's talking about, and what I'm talking about,

442
00:34:06.560 --> 00:34:11.760
is not condemnation that you haven't done something, or that what you've done is bad.

443
00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:16.960
It's good. God is pleased that you believed him to that degree,

444
00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:25.600
but it's exhausting. And he said, I meant more freedom for you. I wanted to conquer the land

445
00:34:25.600 --> 00:34:31.840
for you, but you conquered it. You at least believe me to such a degree that you believed

446
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:36.960
you could do it. You didn't believe I would deny you. So, Hey, here we go. You may not have called

447
00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:42.159
it God. You may have just thought, Hey, I'm calling it an opportunity. So-and-so came to

448
00:34:42.159 --> 00:34:47.040
me and invited me to be part, invited me to get my real estate license. Thought it sounded like

449
00:34:47.040 --> 00:34:52.560
a good idea. I got excited. Why can't I do something that I want? And so you believed

450
00:34:52.560 --> 00:34:55.679
him to that degree, even though you may not have called it God, I have no idea.

451
00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:59.840
But the thing is that God is very pleased.

452
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.320
with, but he wants more for you. He's like, yeah, but you don't get, you're not living,

453
00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:12.240
not just not living in rest. He said, you don't get to have aspects of me. You got to have this

454
00:35:12.240 --> 00:35:18.160
aspect, you know, of benefits, you know, something that I offer, but it's like the prodigal son,

455
00:35:19.040 --> 00:35:24.400
the prodigal son was still given the inheritance, but it was now disconnected from the father.

456
00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:30.880
So all he got was something that could, that was basically ash because it just eventually,

457
00:35:31.680 --> 00:35:37.840
you come to the end of it and it dries up, but he still gave it. That's what you've been living on.

458
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:42.080
And you're coming and you're feeling this spiritual sense that it's come to an end.

459
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:47.440
That you're like, okay, I've used up all of the inheritance because I took it

460
00:35:48.240 --> 00:35:54.400
and tried to do it on my own. I took it from my father, left the estate and tried to use it,

461
00:35:54.400 --> 00:36:00.080
but understand your father still gave it to you. He, he loved you that much. He's like,

462
00:36:00.080 --> 00:36:05.600
Hey, you want it? I meant this for you. So I'll give it to you. I wish you wouldn't take it and

463
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:13.520
leave, but I'll give it to you. So understand you've been very much loved on by God,

464
00:36:13.600 --> 00:36:18.720
you know? And so what, what happens now, what happens now is the prodigal returns home.

465
00:36:18.720 --> 00:36:22.560
And I don't mean prodigal as in, you know, you're, you're bad. I'm just trying to draw

466
00:36:22.560 --> 00:36:28.000
a connection between you always have a good father. And he's just like, Hey, aren't you tired?

467
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:36.160
Aren't you tired? Sure. You got, you, you used the inheritance to get what it is you now have,

468
00:36:36.800 --> 00:36:44.640
but it ran out. So wouldn't you like it to continue? And wouldn't you like what continues

469
00:36:44.640 --> 00:36:52.400
to be, um, uh, uh, to, to have eternity in it, to have spirit in it, to have me in it.

470
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:58.480
And if you come back to the estate and you exist there and you exist in that rest,

471
00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:08.480
well, then you get to have a constant environment of, you know, being poured into by the father

472
00:37:08.480 --> 00:37:14.000
where it's not ever going to run out and it's going to be eternal and all of that good stuff.

473
00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:20.080
So what's being offered to you is by the Lord, I believe is what you're feeling right now in this,

474
00:37:20.080 --> 00:37:26.640
in this, this pressure bias in your spirit is the fact that he's like, wouldn't I'm inviting you

475
00:37:27.600 --> 00:37:34.240
to transition, but remember what you're transitioning from. You're not transitioning

476
00:37:34.240 --> 00:37:42.080
from you've been bad. And so now let's be good. You're transitioning from having been loved on

477
00:37:42.080 --> 00:37:47.280
by your father, where your father's been pleased with the fact that you believed into that degree,

478
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:54.320
but it's run out just because of the nature of the fact that it's disconnected from your father

479
00:37:54.320 --> 00:38:00.560
and his spirit, meaning like it's disconnected from the source from which everything comes.

480
00:38:00.560 --> 00:38:06.800
So because you used up everything that came from the father and you're just can, and that aspect

481
00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:10.560
of like working really hard on your own and whatever is disconnected from your father,

482
00:38:10.560 --> 00:38:15.680
there's no more source to pull from. So it's dried up. So it's like, okay, well, wouldn't

483
00:38:15.680 --> 00:38:22.480
you like to just to have not just have a continual stream of, of provision because

484
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:28.160
you're operating within an environment of provision, but also wouldn't you like peace and

485
00:38:28.160 --> 00:38:35.280
parcel of God? See, when you leave the estate with the inheritance, you don't have, you don't get

486
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:40.480
peace and parcel of God anymore, you know, whatever. So anyway, I just wanted to, to let you,

487
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:47.440
to affirm to you where it is that you are. You're not being chastised because you've been doing what

488
00:38:47.440 --> 00:38:52.800
you've been doing. God's just like, isn't that exhausting? I've loved you through that. I'm so

489
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:57.600
grateful that you believed me more than others, even other, other believers who are trying to do

490
00:38:57.600 --> 00:39:01.680
everything by faith, but they were still striving more than the other brother. You believe that I

491
00:39:01.680 --> 00:39:08.320
was good. See the, the prodigal in a manner of speaking, believed that the, that the father was

492
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:13.760
good more than the older brother did. Because even though the older brother stayed there,

493
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:18.640
he stayed as the servant, never took advantage of any of the inheritance. The prodigal son

494
00:39:18.640 --> 00:39:25.200
believed he had the right to the inheritance. So, and it was the thought, it was the prodigal son

495
00:39:25.200 --> 00:39:31.600
that the father loved on so much when he came back and he was like, okay, so you want to do,

496
00:39:31.600 --> 00:39:37.200
you want me to do with you? You want me to do this for you and you get to get the benefit of it. But

497
00:39:37.200 --> 00:39:44.000
the prodigal son is the one who continues to get to choose to receive from his father. All of the

498
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:47.680
things that his father's offering as opposed to the older son thing. Oh, I just have to work for

499
00:39:47.680 --> 00:39:52.560
it. So anyway, I just want to let you know. So all of this is always towards more love and freedom.

500
00:39:52.560 --> 00:39:58.080
It's not escaping from shame and condemnation. It's just more love and freedom, more of the

501
00:39:58.080 --> 00:39:59.840
father's gifts, more of the father's.

502
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.780
blessing, more of the father himself.

503
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:03.020
It's not just the father.

504
00:40:03.020 --> 00:40:05.900
I talk about the father a lot again, because people, a lot of

505
00:40:05.900 --> 00:40:07.940
times have issues with the image.

506
00:40:07.940 --> 00:40:08.340
That's right.

507
00:40:09.140 --> 00:40:09.460
Yeah.

508
00:40:09.460 --> 00:40:11.020
So let's talk about father.

509
00:40:11.500 --> 00:40:15.960
Um, so anyway, uh, so before we go on, I wanted to kind of like

510
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:18.260
establish that is where you are.

511
00:40:18.780 --> 00:40:20.180
You're in a good place.

512
00:40:20.300 --> 00:40:22.200
You're just moving from glory to glory.

513
00:40:23.620 --> 00:40:26.240
You're just moving from one measure of faith to the Lord

514
00:40:26.300 --> 00:40:27.780
and the Lord to a greater.

515
00:40:28.780 --> 00:40:31.380
And, um, and so that's the invitation.

516
00:40:31.380 --> 00:40:35.100
So the pressure's off the pressure's not, Oh my goodness.

517
00:40:35.100 --> 00:40:36.020
I've been so bad.

518
00:40:36.020 --> 00:40:37.280
I need to do all of this.

519
00:40:37.660 --> 00:40:43.620
The repentance is strictly led by impromptu by God's kindness and

520
00:40:43.620 --> 00:40:46.260
repentance isn't I've been doing bad.

521
00:40:46.260 --> 00:40:47.420
Now I need to do good.

522
00:40:47.460 --> 00:40:49.320
It's no, this was an old season.

523
00:40:49.320 --> 00:40:50.100
This is the new.

524
00:40:50.880 --> 00:40:55.080
It's simply the turning is turning into the new, because even when God is going

525
00:40:55.680 --> 00:40:59.340
is telling you the things that you're supposed to step into now, there's going

526
00:40:59.340 --> 00:41:02.680
to be a season later where God's going to tell you to leave this season and

527
00:41:02.680 --> 00:41:03.940
to move into a different one.

528
00:41:04.280 --> 00:41:08.520
And the word that is going to be used is repent, repent from the

529
00:41:08.520 --> 00:41:10.360
season that he called you into.

530
00:41:10.360 --> 00:41:14.600
That was obedience for you to step into and disobedience for you to not step into.

531
00:41:14.960 --> 00:41:18.320
Once you're there, he's eventually going to say, okay, now I need you to repent

532
00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:19.800
of this season and move into this one.

533
00:41:20.100 --> 00:41:22.500
Repent, not of disobedience because why?

534
00:41:22.500 --> 00:41:23.560
Because you obeyed him.

535
00:41:24.120 --> 00:41:27.200
It's repentance is in like, Hey, I'm no longer doing this thing.

536
00:41:27.200 --> 00:41:28.360
I'm now doing this one.

537
00:41:28.560 --> 00:41:31.200
So let's turn from this one to this one.

538
00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:34.560
Repentance is simply a turning from one direction to another.

539
00:41:34.960 --> 00:41:38.720
So think of it more like you were moving from one phase and

540
00:41:38.760 --> 00:41:41.040
one season in the Lord to another.

541
00:41:41.840 --> 00:41:45.880
So anyway, so I just wanted to establish that as our foundation for move on.

542
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:48.600
So that's good.

543
00:41:48.600 --> 00:41:48.940
Yeah.

544
00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:52.040
And then another thing that's been kind of hard is that I did get an

545
00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:56.680
inheritance from my father and I, and I have some of it, but it felt, but I, I,

546
00:41:56.960 --> 00:42:01.400
I spent some in someone good, but it seems like some just kind of went

547
00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:07.600
away and that feels kind of, um, and I, yeah, scary.

548
00:42:08.120 --> 00:42:08.440
Yeah.

549
00:42:08.440 --> 00:42:09.280
And right.

550
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:14.840
And, um, and you know, was I disobedient and, and I ran for, I ran for office

551
00:42:14.840 --> 00:42:18.320
for a state representative five years ago.

552
00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:21.760
It's I spent a bunch of money on that, but I felt it was the father.

553
00:42:22.200 --> 00:42:26.640
And I mean, even when I went into real estate, it was like, I stayed at my job

554
00:42:26.640 --> 00:42:28.800
till the Lord released me to go into real estate.

555
00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:32.960
So I feel like I, you know, I, I felt like I was, and although, although

556
00:42:33.240 --> 00:42:37.520
there, I think it's been a mixture, but I felt like, you know, I mean, he, he

557
00:42:37.520 --> 00:42:41.480
even had me run a whole ministry for five years with his grace and brought

558
00:42:41.480 --> 00:42:46.520
me a, a mentor that was wise enough and strong enough to help me through that.

559
00:42:46.520 --> 00:42:50.360
I was like, so he's brought me through a lot of things that I know.

560
00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:51.840
I know.

561
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:54.760
I mean, there's a few things I know he told me, you know, he spoke

562
00:42:54.760 --> 00:43:01.560
one word to me 22 years ago, 2002, 21, whenever he just said restoration.

563
00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:06.920
And that's the, like the only word that's reverberated in me.

564
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:08.000
Yeah.

565
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:10.120
And then he told me to make a ring.

566
00:43:10.160 --> 00:43:12.840
The first time I read the Bible all the way through to make

567
00:43:12.840 --> 00:43:14.200
a ring, like the breastplate.

568
00:43:14.560 --> 00:43:14.960
Oh yeah.

569
00:43:15.600 --> 00:43:17.160
And Holy spirit wouldn't leave me alone.

570
00:43:17.400 --> 00:43:20.560
And I didn't even know, he, no Holy spirit talked to me till, till he told

571
00:43:20.560 --> 00:43:25.480
me to make this ring and dedicate my life to the Lord and that's when my life.

572
00:43:25.960 --> 00:43:29.720
So I, you know, so it's a little, it's just like, I feel like, and I know it's

573
00:43:29.720 --> 00:43:34.000
been a, probably a mixture that I've had that I've trusted him in some things,

574
00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:38.800
but I guess I had an ability and whatever, but like you said, there's no

575
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:43.840
condemnation, there's no condemnation in it and it's just, and the other

576
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:46.360
word Dwight said is God's cracking you up.

577
00:43:47.360 --> 00:43:47.840
No.

578
00:43:49.720 --> 00:43:50.040
He's crazy.

579
00:43:50.040 --> 00:43:50.760
No, he's cracking you.

580
00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:51.760
He's cracking you.

581
00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:53.920
Yeah.

582
00:43:54.560 --> 00:43:59.480
Which, which makes sense because you know, there's, there's so much strength

583
00:44:00.200 --> 00:44:05.000
in, in that, in that unity, meaning like not your unity with the Lord, but like

584
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:08.760
the unity, your unity with self, it's just like just one solid thing.

585
00:44:08.800 --> 00:44:17.520
So if he, if he breaks it, then it's it breaks the power of you being able to

586
00:44:17.520 --> 00:44:23.720
stand on your own and continue to rely on that and it ends up being able, you

587
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:29.000
are then in a position to be reintegrated with the Lord in a specific way, which

588
00:44:29.120 --> 00:44:33.440
then you will be stronger in that reintegration than you were before the

589
00:44:33.440 --> 00:44:38.640
breaking, but it is the breaking is hard, you know, but it allows everything

590
00:44:38.640 --> 00:44:42.120
to be reset, you know, as Chris Blackaby always talks about, allows

591
00:44:42.120 --> 00:44:45.600
everything to be reset correctly now.

592
00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:49.240
And it will now be stronger than it was before it broke, which is

593
00:44:49.240 --> 00:44:51.120
always really, really fascinating.

594
00:44:51.600 --> 00:44:57.120
But so anyway, and as far as like what you should do, like for like a, you

595
00:44:57.120 --> 00:44:59.880
know, pursuing either Dwight or Dale.

596
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.320
for more mentor mentorship. I think it was Dale that you said was the other person that you were

597
00:45:04.320 --> 00:45:12.560
considering. I don't remember. But so, you know, that's obviously I, I mean, I really have, I have

598
00:45:12.560 --> 00:45:22.080
no idea. But I, so I don't really have anything that I'm sensing from the Lord about, I mean,

599
00:45:22.080 --> 00:45:29.280
to know what it is that you should do. So I really don't know. But I did want you to know

600
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:35.600
you know, what it is that I was explaining about where it is that you are, and that this is just

601
00:45:35.600 --> 00:45:43.600
more, it's just a, you know, I can understand why you're feeling the all of this pressure

602
00:45:45.040 --> 00:45:49.920
in this particular, you know, time in your life. Because like what Dwight said, you know,

603
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:57.120
you know, God's cracking you. It's every he's, he's allowing the foundation to be shaken,

604
00:45:57.120 --> 00:46:04.960
so that that which is unshakable will be the only thing that remains. And, and going through

605
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:10.240
that process is hard. And we can always feel and so this is basically what I'm trying to encourage

606
00:46:10.240 --> 00:46:16.080
you in. When we're in those situations, and I've been in those situations even recently,

607
00:46:16.080 --> 00:46:20.960
and I had to remind I had to remember this. I'm so glad that the Lord reminded me of this

608
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:24.400
when I was going through that, because you can feel like everything's wrong.

609
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:30.560
Yeah, like, it's not supposed to feel this way. It's not supposed to feel unstable,

610
00:46:30.560 --> 00:46:34.880
especially a life with God, my goodness, you know, life with God is supposed to feel stable.

611
00:46:35.680 --> 00:46:45.520
Well, no, God himself is always stable. Our relationship with him, and that that security

612
00:46:45.520 --> 00:46:52.240
and being anchored in him that always creates a stability and a security. But it doesn't

613
00:46:52.800 --> 00:47:00.320
mean that our whole lives feel like the all the rest of the aspects of our life are always going

614
00:47:00.320 --> 00:47:07.840
to evidence stability in the way that we would term it. God always is. And that's another reason,

615
00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:12.480
you know, just case in point, and why we should have that faith in the Lord is because he's

616
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:18.720
unshakable, so that as the rest of our environment, whether that be emotional, mental, or

617
00:47:18.720 --> 00:47:24.480
physically the environment that we're in, not just nature, but like interactions with other people

618
00:47:24.480 --> 00:47:29.680
or what our job what's happening with our job right now, and whether or not deals are falling

619
00:47:29.680 --> 00:47:35.920
through or whatever, all of that is going to shift. Everything always has to shift in life

620
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:42.880
in order to in order to come into alignment with who it is that God says that it is and where God

621
00:47:42.880 --> 00:47:48.560
says that it's supposed to actually be right now, it has to move from where it is to where it needs

622
00:47:48.560 --> 00:47:57.360
to be. And that movement feels unstable. So, so it's just so think of what it is you're going

623
00:47:57.360 --> 00:48:03.760
through is what's supposed to happen. It means everything's working. It's kind of like having a

624
00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:08.560
baby, you know, there's all of the pain and all of the pressure and the expansion of the body,

625
00:48:08.560 --> 00:48:13.360
and then all kinds of things that are going on. And you're and you know, if if you didn't know

626
00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:18.160
that a baby's supposed to be coming out of this, you thinking something is majorly wrong people,

627
00:48:18.320 --> 00:48:22.080
you go to the doctor, doctor, you figure out what on earth is going on, it shouldn't be like this,

628
00:48:22.080 --> 00:48:25.280
I'm having lots of pressure, I'm having lots of pain, there's things that are constantly changing,

629
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:31.680
my body is doing things it shouldn't do. In fact, it only does these things normally,

630
00:48:31.680 --> 00:48:39.760
when you're dying. So, so, so we can think that it's all bad. But really, what's happening is

631
00:48:39.760 --> 00:48:45.840
your body is going through the process of birthing something. So it's what has to happen in order for

632
00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:51.920
the thing to birth. So there are certain things that are like the new season that you'll be going

633
00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:57.680
into there, it's it's a manner, it's a birthing. Now, it will birth as a baby, though it won't

634
00:48:57.680 --> 00:49:04.080
birth as an adult. So the thing that comes might be hard to recognize as anything that's like,

635
00:49:04.640 --> 00:49:12.800
very, I don't want to say very valuable, but very like, as, as healthy as not healthy,

636
00:49:12.800 --> 00:49:17.920
as mature as contributory to your life, as you would want it to be at first glance,

637
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:24.880
and your first exposure to it. But it really, it's also very innocent, that whatever it is,

638
00:49:24.880 --> 00:49:30.000
that'll be birthing the new season that you go into whatever comes out of you and your relationship

639
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:35.440
with the Lord, and what y'all start moving into, will be very precious and very innocent. And

640
00:49:35.440 --> 00:49:41.520
there's nothing wrong with its immaturity. The image in its immaturity, it's innocent.

641
00:49:42.640 --> 00:49:47.280
And it can be enjoyed strictly for that. And it's going to grow and it's going to be whatever.

642
00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:52.880
But anyway, my point is that in order for that to happen, everything in you and around you can't

643
00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:59.680
stay the way that it is, because it can't, not only can it not birth it, but it can't

644
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.040
It's your life is not only coming into order to be able to contain it, it's coming into

645
00:50:07.040 --> 00:50:14.160
order to be able to to be able to make space for it, to make space for it, to be able to

646
00:50:14.160 --> 00:50:21.720
handle the new thing, et cetera, because your current environment, situation, mental, emotional,

647
00:50:21.720 --> 00:50:25.080
spiritual, whatever, can't handle the new thing.

648
00:50:25.080 --> 00:50:31.520
It's could only handle what it is that your life has been, you know, during this current

649
00:50:31.520 --> 00:50:36.440
season that it could contain, it could hold, it could support, it could do it, it could

650
00:50:36.440 --> 00:50:41.680
provide what you and what it, what, you know, that particular birthing that you had done

651
00:50:41.680 --> 00:50:48.000
prior to that to bring you to this thing now, you know, it could, it could do what it could,

652
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:54.720
it could handle and provide for that, but it can't do that for the new baby.

653
00:50:54.720 --> 00:50:59.000
So anyway, what it is that you're, you're going through is part of the process.

654
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:04.400
What it means is that you've been having something grow in you for a long time, like a mother

655
00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:09.400
holding a baby for nine months, you have been nurturing something between you and the Lord

656
00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:14.040
and you haven't known what it is, meaning like you don't fully know what it'll look

657
00:51:14.040 --> 00:51:15.040
like.

658
00:51:15.040 --> 00:51:19.240
There might be certain elements of it that, you know, generally what it is.

659
00:51:19.240 --> 00:51:23.440
Like for instance, a mother knows that it's a baby, but she doesn't know, you know, at

660
00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:26.440
least until we had ultrasound, she didn't know if it was going to be a boy or girl.

661
00:51:26.440 --> 00:51:29.760
She had no idea what color hair it's going to have, what color eyes it's going to have,

662
00:51:29.760 --> 00:51:31.360
what its personality is.

663
00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:34.440
So it's the same thing with what it is that you're, that you're birthing.

664
00:51:34.440 --> 00:51:42.120
You don't fully know what it is, but don't let that, don't look at that, you know, and

665
00:51:42.120 --> 00:51:49.080
this unknown of what it is, determine whether or not what you're going through is meaningful.

666
00:51:49.080 --> 00:51:54.040
So what you're going through is because what is kind of come out on the other side is that

667
00:51:54.040 --> 00:52:01.840
valuable that you have to shift to be able to contain the new treasure and to be able

668
00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:06.080
to be, there's a word I keep looking for and I keep, I keep circling back to it cause I

669
00:52:06.080 --> 00:52:07.520
keep trying to find it.

670
00:52:07.520 --> 00:52:09.560
It's not be responsible with it.

671
00:52:09.560 --> 00:52:10.760
It's not stewarded.

672
00:52:10.760 --> 00:52:16.800
There's another word for it, but basically to be entrusted with it, you know, to it's,

673
00:52:16.800 --> 00:52:18.120
it's more than stewarded.

674
00:52:18.160 --> 00:52:21.400
It's like you're, you're being a parent to it.

675
00:52:21.400 --> 00:52:23.880
You are providing for with it.

676
00:52:23.880 --> 00:52:24.880
You're ruling it.

677
00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:28.400
You're, you're giving, you're being king to, you're giving it whatever it is, that kind

678
00:52:28.400 --> 00:52:29.440
of a thing.

679
00:52:29.440 --> 00:52:34.360
So those are some things that I am sensing, you know, for you.

680
00:52:34.360 --> 00:52:37.200
And I know it's not a definitive of like, should you, or shouldn't you, you know, have

681
00:52:37.200 --> 00:52:41.880
mentor mentorship or with other people, but I believe that it, but what I wanted to do

682
00:52:41.880 --> 00:52:46.640
was to assure you and kind of like help maybe define for you what it is that I'm seeing

683
00:52:46.640 --> 00:52:50.760
you, your relationship is with right now, where it is that you are.

684
00:52:50.760 --> 00:52:54.960
And then so that you then can use that as a starting point of your conversations with

685
00:52:54.960 --> 00:52:55.960
the Lord.

686
00:52:55.960 --> 00:52:59.040
Okay, Lord, you know, I've been thinking about, you know, mentoring and whatever, and I'm

687
00:52:59.040 --> 00:53:04.000
trying to discover a Lord, is that you that's telling me to do that?

688
00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:09.200
So, so anyway, part of the way that you can do that is, Hey Lord, you know, I have been

689
00:53:09.200 --> 00:53:16.380
I've been resisting this transition time.

690
00:53:16.380 --> 00:53:20.740
What you're going through right now, Karen is just transition is all it is that shift.

691
00:53:20.740 --> 00:53:23.780
It's taking all of these things that fit this particular way.

692
00:53:23.780 --> 00:53:26.260
Now they all have to shift into a different position.

693
00:53:26.260 --> 00:53:30.060
You have to gain more, you have to expand, you have to stretch, you have to do all this

694
00:53:30.060 --> 00:53:32.700
stuff in order to be ready for this.

695
00:53:32.700 --> 00:53:33.700
That's all you're doing.

696
00:53:33.700 --> 00:53:35.540
You're just going through transition.

697
00:53:35.540 --> 00:53:38.820
I don't believe that what you're going through is like any kind of light.

698
00:53:38.820 --> 00:53:43.460
Well, in fact, I mean, I know it's not, you're not going through any kind of like punishment

699
00:53:43.460 --> 00:53:50.100
from the Lord or, you know, like major correction, the correction to punishment.

700
00:53:50.100 --> 00:53:56.020
I do believe that there's correction is in like correcting our course be like, okay,

701
00:53:56.020 --> 00:53:57.060
you're heading in this direction.

702
00:53:57.060 --> 00:54:02.180
Let's correct the course, but it's not correction is in condemnate based in any kind of condemnation

703
00:54:02.180 --> 00:54:03.180
or whatever.

704
00:54:03.180 --> 00:54:04.980
Like what have you been doing or whatnot?

705
00:54:04.980 --> 00:54:06.900
It's all, it's all an invitation.

706
00:54:06.900 --> 00:54:13.260
So then the thing is, if you will start to, how do you get clarity from the Lord about

707
00:54:14.060 --> 00:54:19.540
next, does he want mentorship for you and who with the way that you can get that clarity

708
00:54:19.540 --> 00:54:24.380
as opposed to the confusion or the, whatever that may be your, that you could be struggling

709
00:54:24.380 --> 00:54:30.020
with is to stop fighting your current transition.

710
00:54:30.020 --> 00:54:33.300
In other words, internally to stop thinking, oh, this is bad.

711
00:54:33.300 --> 00:54:34.300
This is wrong.

712
00:54:34.300 --> 00:54:38.940
I need to get out of this or whatever is to do the same thing that a woman does in childbirth

713
00:54:38.940 --> 00:54:42.260
is you relax into it and you let the pain come.

714
00:54:42.260 --> 00:54:47.060
You let the pressure come, you let the whatever, but you don't fight it because the more that

715
00:54:47.060 --> 00:54:50.700
you resist it and think, oh, it shouldn't be like this.

716
00:54:50.700 --> 00:54:55.140
The harder, the pain will be the greater, the pressure, the more, the torment, the worst

717
00:54:55.140 --> 00:54:59.100
that the sleep, all of that kind of thing.

718
00:54:59.100 --> 00:55:00.100
So

719
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.520
So anyway, that's, that's what I would recommend.

720
00:55:00.100 --> 00:55:00.100


721
00:55:02.520 --> 00:55:07.400
You will move through the transition faster and you will more clearly hear the

722
00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:11.700
Lord, because if we're thinking the transition just means that there's bad,

723
00:55:11.720 --> 00:55:17.040
that we're in a bad place and we shouldn't be here, then we have a hard time hearing

724
00:55:17.040 --> 00:55:21.360
the Lord because we keep holding it against him and be like, God, I either, I

725
00:55:21.360 --> 00:55:23.340
am so sorry, we're apologizing for something.

726
00:55:23.340 --> 00:55:28.580
It's not telling us to apologize for, or we're getting upset at him for us being

727
00:55:28.580 --> 00:55:32.660
in this position or situation, God, why won't you move me out of this faster?

728
00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:34.760
Or God, what have I done?

729
00:55:34.760 --> 00:55:35.620
Why are you mad at me?

730
00:55:35.620 --> 00:55:41.620
I haven't done anything or whatever, or God, you know, I'm just, just make it stop.

731
00:55:42.320 --> 00:55:45.200
God's like, but you need it in order for me to answer the prayer that

732
00:55:45.200 --> 00:55:47.000
you asked of me or whatever.

733
00:55:47.020 --> 00:55:47.360
Right.

734
00:55:47.740 --> 00:55:51.120
Um, so anyway, the more that you release it, the more that you're like, okay,

735
00:55:51.180 --> 00:55:53.060
this is actually supposed to happen.

736
00:55:53.300 --> 00:55:55.100
I'm supposed to feel this pain.

737
00:55:55.580 --> 00:55:57.420
I'm supposed to this pressure.

738
00:55:57.780 --> 00:56:00.980
And so the more that you're just like, okay, just let it be painful.

739
00:56:01.500 --> 00:56:05.480
I know that that might sound weird, but what I mean is like, just allow the pain

740
00:56:05.480 --> 00:56:08.840
to kind of come through you kind of like a cloud, like I was talking about

741
00:56:08.840 --> 00:56:13.380
thoughts, allow the pain to just come and go and the pressure to come and go

742
00:56:13.580 --> 00:56:16.500
without focusing on it and trying to fix it.

743
00:56:16.860 --> 00:56:17.240
Okay.

744
00:56:17.300 --> 00:56:18.440
Oh my word, that's bad.

745
00:56:18.500 --> 00:56:19.700
What do I need to do to change?

746
00:56:19.700 --> 00:56:24.640
If it just allow it to be so basically use the third tool of the rest shifting

747
00:56:25.560 --> 00:56:31.240
is, um, is, you know, focusing on, uh, you know, not judging it.

748
00:56:31.560 --> 00:56:32.800
It shouldn't be this way.

749
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:34.080
It should be different.

750
00:56:34.900 --> 00:56:38.620
And, uh, and then you'll be able to more now that you'll, that will help you

751
00:56:38.620 --> 00:56:42.660
emotionally release the outcome, emotionally release what you're going

752
00:56:42.660 --> 00:56:45.680
through and not hold that against the Lord or against yourself.

753
00:56:46.360 --> 00:56:51.340
And then you'll be able to more clearly, more clearly hear the Lord because

754
00:56:51.340 --> 00:56:56.020
you've stopped resisting the process that he's taking you through to answer

755
00:56:56.020 --> 00:57:00.700
the prayers that you've been asking him for of more of himself of expanding

756
00:57:00.700 --> 00:57:04.660
you into the thing that you know, is, is in you that has to come out,

757
00:57:04.700 --> 00:57:05.740
you know, or whatever.

758
00:57:06.180 --> 00:57:10.860
So anyway, I know that we are three minutes to 11 and I, and I have time

759
00:57:10.860 --> 00:57:15.100
to answer, you know, a little bit, maybe about, about, um, Ken, but, um,

760
00:57:15.260 --> 00:57:18.380
you know, if you wanted that, but I didn't know if you needed to go to something.

761
00:57:18.980 --> 00:57:20.260
Yeah, no, I'm good.

762
00:57:20.300 --> 00:57:20.740
I'm good.

763
00:57:20.740 --> 00:57:22.580
I have something at 1130, so I'm good.

764
00:57:22.580 --> 00:57:27.380
But, um, uh, but yeah, and Ken and probably the same thing.

765
00:57:27.380 --> 00:57:32.500
I know one thing, you know, I feel, I felt like the Lord must be dealing with him.

766
00:57:32.540 --> 00:57:36.060
And then there's a girl that works for Linda and Greg also named.

767
00:57:36.700 --> 00:57:37.500
I forget her name.

768
00:57:38.020 --> 00:57:40.860
And I can't think of her name, but she, she said, you know, I didn't realize

769
00:57:40.860 --> 00:57:42.820
that Layla was Ken's daughter.

770
00:57:43.060 --> 00:57:47.460
We all, we all were at the A-frame and didn't pray together like a month ago.

771
00:57:47.900 --> 00:57:50.460
And so Ken doesn't even tell me he, that's the thing.

772
00:57:50.460 --> 00:57:51.460
He, he just doesn't.

773
00:57:52.100 --> 00:57:52.300
Yeah.

774
00:57:52.980 --> 00:57:53.340
Yeah.

775
00:57:53.740 --> 00:57:55.340
Um, it hasn't in the past.

776
00:57:55.340 --> 00:57:57.900
So, um, she said, I had a word for him.

777
00:57:57.900 --> 00:57:59.620
She said, we all had a word for each other.

778
00:57:59.620 --> 00:58:01.380
It was Dwight and Layla.

779
00:58:01.380 --> 00:58:04.540
And she said, I remember telling Ken that he's, he's called

780
00:58:04.540 --> 00:58:05.820
to be an Oracle on this earth.

781
00:58:07.740 --> 00:58:10.580
And, um, yeah, yeah.

782
00:58:10.580 --> 00:58:15.020
So, um, and she said, and I said, you know, and I've just, I can't briefly

783
00:58:15.020 --> 00:58:16.700
told her, you know, what was going on real brief.

784
00:58:16.700 --> 00:58:20.700
We were praying, we were just kind of, and I, I said, you know, and the Lord's,

785
00:58:20.820 --> 00:58:24.460
you know, it's been hard to just let it go, but that's what I'm.

786
00:58:24.780 --> 00:58:27.460
And she said, well, just imagine what happened when you really do.

787
00:58:29.940 --> 00:58:30.900
If it's that hard.

788
00:58:31.580 --> 00:58:33.100
Yeah, exactly.

789
00:58:33.300 --> 00:58:33.900
Exactly.

790
00:58:33.900 --> 00:58:35.540
So how do you look forward to.

791
00:58:36.340 --> 00:58:36.860
Yeah.

792
00:58:36.940 --> 00:58:37.860
So, yeah.

793
00:58:37.860 --> 00:58:43.340
So that's, so that's the other thing is, you know, and then, and

794
00:58:43.340 --> 00:58:46.100
then I've been seeing him, you know, he's at the conference all weekend,

795
00:58:46.300 --> 00:58:49.420
you know, and then he's at this meeting, you know, and, and, you know, I did, I,

796
00:58:49.420 --> 00:58:52.820
what I did do is I talked to Dale and she said, why don't you just tell him, text

797
00:58:52.820 --> 00:58:55.620
him something and tell him you'll give him the space he needs.

798
00:58:56.020 --> 00:58:59.300
So that's what I did a few days after dinner, two or three days later, I just

799
00:58:59.300 --> 00:59:00.140
said, Hey, how you doing?

800
00:59:00.140 --> 00:59:01.100
Hope you're having a good day.

801
00:59:01.300 --> 00:59:04.900
I just want you to know I'm, I'm giving you the space you need.

802
00:59:05.580 --> 00:59:07.740
And, um, I love you.

803
00:59:07.740 --> 00:59:08.980
I think that's all I said.

804
00:59:11.020 --> 00:59:14.580
So I said, you know, and let me know if you want to talk sometime

805
00:59:14.980 --> 00:59:16.340
or go, go eat or something.

806
00:59:17.100 --> 00:59:17.420
Yeah.

807
00:59:19.780 --> 00:59:20.820
So I did do that.

808
00:59:21.580 --> 00:59:22.100
Great.

809
00:59:23.940 --> 00:59:27.420
Um, so I kind of intentionally, you know, let him know, Dale said it might

810
00:59:27.420 --> 00:59:28.660
be good if you just tell him that.

811
00:59:29.540 --> 00:59:31.500
So, but it's still not been real easy.

812
00:59:31.500 --> 00:59:33.100
Cause I, you know, I miss him.

813
00:59:33.740 --> 00:59:34.260
Yeah.

814
00:59:34.660 --> 00:59:35.140
You know?

815
00:59:35.900 --> 00:59:40.540
Um, and that's the other part of maybe she's in that same thing.

816
00:59:40.540 --> 00:59:47.820
Try to let that, you know, not, not that I try to ignore it, but just, um, let it

817
00:59:47.820 --> 00:59:54.980
come and go and, you know, um, yeah, because the more that we, the more that

818
00:59:54.980 --> 00:59:59.980
we let go of our, of our hands on it and trying to fix it again, so.

819
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.240
Similar to that, what we were just talking about, about the rush shifting tool of like

820
01:00:03.240 --> 01:00:10.240
not judging, like the more that we stop trying to make it something that it's not right now.

821
01:00:10.240 --> 01:00:13.480
In other words, we're like, well, it is this way and it should be this.

822
01:00:13.480 --> 01:00:15.520
And so we're trying to change it.

823
01:00:15.520 --> 01:00:22.880
And even emotionally, just, just, uh, focusing on it to the point of like, it shouldn't be

824
01:00:22.880 --> 01:00:23.880
like this.

825
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:24.880
It should be different.

826
01:00:24.880 --> 01:00:30.760
And that is even creating a resistance for it to be able to change because what we're

827
01:00:30.760 --> 01:00:38.040
doing is we're actually, we're actually injecting into the situation, rigidity, meaning there's

828
01:00:38.040 --> 01:00:41.840
no movement for it to change except for it to stay the way that it is.

829
01:00:41.840 --> 01:00:46.840
As weird as that sounds, you know, because we were all told, you know, according to like

830
01:00:46.840 --> 01:00:51.280
the kingdom of this world, you know, in education or whatever, that in order to get breakthrough,

831
01:00:51.280 --> 01:00:54.640
you have to push really, really, really hard and you've got to like focus.

832
01:00:55.400 --> 01:00:58.040
And in a manner of speaking, that is true, but you can't do it from the perspective of

833
01:00:58.040 --> 01:00:59.200
rigidity.

834
01:00:59.200 --> 01:01:03.640
You have to do it from the perspective of letting go and allowing movement and pressing

835
01:01:03.640 --> 01:01:07.280
in and providing for it, what it needs.

836
01:01:07.280 --> 01:01:13.120
That'll create the breakthrough, not this, not this doubling down on it.

837
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:18.480
That will eat that creates such rigidity that in order for it to actually change, it will,

838
01:01:18.480 --> 01:01:21.320
it has to break first.

839
01:01:21.320 --> 01:01:26.480
That's one of the reasons why we break is because we're too rigid for God to mold us.

840
01:01:26.480 --> 01:01:29.240
I was like, okay, well then we have to break.

841
01:01:29.240 --> 01:01:33.880
It's like, so stop being so rigid, stop being so, you know, whatever.

842
01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:41.160
So there is that, but was there, is there something that you can help me on to guide

843
01:01:41.160 --> 01:01:47.680
me as far as like what you, what you're struggling with specifically about kin?

844
01:01:47.680 --> 01:01:52.200
I mean, cause there's all kinds of things I know, but like in general, what is like

845
01:01:52.200 --> 01:01:58.320
weighing the most on you of like, okay, this aspect of the situation that I'm in with kin

846
01:01:58.320 --> 01:02:01.720
is the hardest for me to be dealing with right now.

847
01:02:01.720 --> 01:02:06.520
Is it the fact that you're just like, I don't know, I'm just like, well, I don't want it

848
01:02:06.520 --> 01:02:13.240
to be like this or, or how can, you know, what does God want me to do in order to fix

849
01:02:13.240 --> 01:02:14.240
it?

850
01:02:14.240 --> 01:02:19.120
How to, you know, well, what if God won't let it work out?

851
01:02:19.120 --> 01:02:22.560
I mean like what aspect of it, right.

852
01:02:22.560 --> 01:02:25.740
And I will tell you, I wanted to interject real quick before I say that Michelle was

853
01:02:25.740 --> 01:02:30.320
good to say, Karen, you know, I think what the Lord is telling me to tell you is to just

854
01:02:30.320 --> 01:02:35.840
try to let go of all expectations of how it might work, how it might look and how it might,

855
01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:40.000
how, you know, how he might work it out and how, cause I think that's, you know, that's

856
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:42.840
what I had been trying to, you know, figure out.

857
01:02:42.840 --> 01:02:46.640
And, and the other thing is, you know, even if I think about it, it's like, how would

858
01:02:46.640 --> 01:02:48.760
he ever put this back together?

859
01:02:48.760 --> 01:02:54.320
Because I know, because I remember Ken, yeah, that may be one of the harder things that

860
01:02:54.320 --> 01:02:58.400
may be part of what's hard is like, how will he ever, how would he ever do it?

861
01:02:58.400 --> 01:03:02.160
Because, you know, Ken talked to where he talked to himself and he didn't even like

862
01:03:02.160 --> 01:03:06.360
this house, although lately he's been okay here, but then, you know, then one day he'll

863
01:03:06.360 --> 01:03:11.120
be like, I like nature, you know, I like nature because he had 10 acres.

864
01:03:11.120 --> 01:03:12.520
I look out here and I don't see nature.

865
01:03:13.200 --> 01:03:16.560
Well, I have a little bit of nature, you know, but it's just like, so it's like, there's

866
01:03:16.560 --> 01:03:24.120
just so many things that goes, you know, we could layer it down, but it's like, yeah,

867
01:03:24.120 --> 01:03:29.160
just kind of maybe really letting go is probably one of the hardest parts.

868
01:03:29.160 --> 01:03:37.760
And also knowing God's gonna work it out for his good and for my good either way, you know,

869
01:03:37.760 --> 01:03:39.680
it's just still kind of that.

870
01:03:39.680 --> 01:03:40.680
Correct.

871
01:03:40.680 --> 01:03:41.680
Yeah.

872
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:43.680
I said, correct.

873
01:03:43.680 --> 01:03:44.680
Yeah.

874
01:03:44.680 --> 01:03:55.480
And letting, and really letting it go, you know, to, you know, cause when I see him sometimes,

875
01:03:55.480 --> 01:04:02.080
you know, it's, I mean, I was so glad he was at the conference and he was, you know, but

876
01:04:02.080 --> 01:04:05.560
then I see it and kind of makes me want to be around him and makes me, you know, makes

877
01:04:05.640 --> 01:04:10.920
me want to go to dinner with him or, you know, you know, he thanked me for having him over

878
01:04:10.920 --> 01:04:11.920
for dinner.

879
01:04:11.920 --> 01:04:12.920
Was that a week ago?

880
01:04:12.920 --> 01:04:15.760
We could go today, maybe, or was it, I don't even know.

881
01:04:15.760 --> 01:04:23.040
We go today or two weeks, but, but yeah, just, it kind of makes me want to see him and correct.

882
01:04:23.040 --> 01:04:29.720
But even if I'm not around him, you know it's just, you know, so it's, I don't know, I guess

883
01:04:29.720 --> 01:04:32.160
just really letting, letting God have it.

884
01:04:32.160 --> 01:04:33.160
Yeah.

885
01:04:33.760 --> 01:04:34.760
It is.

886
01:04:34.760 --> 01:04:35.760
Right.

887
01:04:35.760 --> 01:04:41.680
That is always the hardest part is that surrender, um, the, basically I was actually thinking

888
01:04:41.680 --> 01:04:42.680
about this.

889
01:04:42.680 --> 01:04:53.320
I think it was yesterday, um, about, um, about just how else to articulate what it is that

890
01:04:53.320 --> 01:04:58.640
we're doing when we're surrendering, like what's the real choice that we're making.

891
01:04:58.640 --> 01:04:59.960
And one of the things.

892
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.780
How can I phrase it for people in a way that helps them grasp?

893
01:05:03.840 --> 01:05:06.320
Oh, that's what it is that I'm having to do.

894
01:05:06.800 --> 01:05:10.520
And I don't know how much that this will help, but I'm hoping it'll help at least

895
01:05:10.520 --> 01:05:12.720
get you a little bit further down the road.

896
01:05:13.040 --> 01:05:16.280
You know how I've always talked about the fact that, you know, that ultimate

897
01:05:16.280 --> 01:05:21.600
choice of light, you know, you choose God over your lifestyle and, you know, you

898
01:05:21.600 --> 01:05:29.360
choose that, that you want him to be who he is and to be who he is when he's with

899
01:05:29.360 --> 01:05:35.240
you, to be who he is and manifest that into your life, to be who he is, meaning

900
01:05:35.240 --> 01:05:42.280
his character, and then to create your life from that character, same thing with

901
01:05:42.280 --> 01:05:54.960
your relationship with Ken or whatever aspect, however we would describe or, or,

902
01:05:54.960 --> 01:06:02.920
um, or identify it as, you know, well, is it Ken or is it the marriage or is it

903
01:06:02.920 --> 01:06:04.880
like, how would God like categorize this thing?

904
01:06:04.880 --> 01:06:09.920
Is it like having, um, uh, a partner, one that I in person that I'm on with, you

905
01:06:09.920 --> 01:06:15.520
know, whatever, God, you look on this thing, whatever it is that you call that

906
01:06:15.560 --> 01:06:22.280
Lord, I ask that that thing, whether it be my marriage or, you know, Ken and I is

907
01:06:22.280 --> 01:06:23.520
one or whatever you want to call it.

908
01:06:24.200 --> 01:06:29.880
I ask that your character create that thing in my life.

909
01:06:30.600 --> 01:06:35.120
Um, yeah, create that thing in my life and make it look like what it's supposed

910
01:06:35.120 --> 01:06:42.840
to be, including if that means that that place in my life is not marriage

911
01:06:43.240 --> 01:06:45.520
or it's not marriage to Ken.

912
01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:52.280
And again, all that I'm talking about is the, is the posture of surrender.

913
01:06:52.680 --> 01:06:57.600
I am not saying that when we surrender something, God means, yeah, by the way,

914
01:06:57.600 --> 01:07:01.400
you know, it's not marriage or it's not Ken, or it's, I'm not saying anything

915
01:07:01.400 --> 01:07:05.800
like that I'm talking about when we talk about surrender, we have to

916
01:07:05.800 --> 01:07:07.800
disconnect from the outcome.

917
01:07:08.160 --> 01:07:10.040
Does it mean this?

918
01:07:10.040 --> 01:07:11.400
Does it mean I will have the marriage?

919
01:07:11.400 --> 01:07:12.600
Does it mean I won't have the marriage?

920
01:07:12.600 --> 01:07:14.720
Does it mean I will have the marriage, but it won't be with Ken?

921
01:07:14.720 --> 01:07:17.000
Does it mean that does it mean that God will say no?

922
01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:21.800
Does it mean it's what I'm trying to do here is simply walk you verbally

923
01:07:21.800 --> 01:07:28.600
through how to articulate this outcome that we're holding before the Lord.

924
01:07:28.600 --> 01:07:33.680
So we can identify, oh, this is the outcome that I'm using against God in

925
01:07:33.680 --> 01:07:38.200
accusation, or that I'm can't seem to let go of this is the thing I'm holding

926
01:07:38.200 --> 01:07:40.040
onto, I'm holding onto this thing called this.

927
01:07:40.720 --> 01:07:45.360
So you ask that God's that this thing, this part of your life that's meant for

928
01:07:45.360 --> 01:07:50.000
marriage or whatever, that that part be created by his character.

929
01:07:50.840 --> 01:08:00.120
Instead of it being what you being all of the, the descriptions that you've given

930
01:08:00.120 --> 01:08:04.240
it, well, Lord it's marriage and it's marriage to Ken and it's marriage right

931
01:08:04.240 --> 01:08:09.920
now, and it's, we've, we kind of take this place in us that God meant for,

932
01:08:10.200 --> 01:08:11.400
you know, you knew it was someone else.

933
01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:14.760
And then we put all these parameters on it, which is what Michelle

934
01:08:14.760 --> 01:08:17.200
was referring to by expectations.

935
01:08:17.800 --> 01:08:22.399
We've decided we've created a picture and a vision and a determination.

936
01:08:22.399 --> 01:08:23.880
Lord, this is, this is it.

937
01:08:24.640 --> 01:08:28.439
And so what we have to do in order to surrender in order to allow God to like

938
01:08:28.439 --> 01:08:34.200
start doing the miraculous in both us and them and ourselves, I mean, meaning

939
01:08:34.200 --> 01:08:39.560
like the two of you together is to just ask, okay, God, you know, could you

940
01:08:39.560 --> 01:08:46.359
recreate this picture, re put it together, do whatever it want, recreate

941
01:08:46.359 --> 01:08:52.479
this picture based off of your character, not in your character, actually

942
01:08:52.479 --> 01:08:59.520
creating what this looks like, as opposed to you simply answering my

943
01:08:59.520 --> 01:09:01.560
requests of what I've told you.

944
01:09:01.600 --> 01:09:06.520
I want as if like, well, I want it to be yellow and I want it to be red.

945
01:09:06.720 --> 01:09:08.520
And then I want it to be outlined in purple.

946
01:09:08.560 --> 01:09:11.640
And I like, I'm giving you some specifications, you know?

947
01:09:12.359 --> 01:09:13.160
So that's what we do.

948
01:09:13.160 --> 01:09:19.479
Another way to word it is, is Lord, I choose you over.

949
01:09:20.279 --> 01:09:22.200
I choose you instead of me.

950
01:09:23.160 --> 01:09:24.840
I choose you instead of Ken.

951
01:09:25.200 --> 01:09:27.000
I choose you instead of marriage.

952
01:09:27.640 --> 01:09:29.359
I choose you instead of it happening.

953
01:09:29.359 --> 01:09:34.600
Now it's that you're actually always choosing God over.

954
01:09:34.600 --> 01:09:40.359
And instead of making a choice for all of these things that you define.

955
01:09:40.840 --> 01:09:43.720
So I don't mean that this is easy.

956
01:09:43.960 --> 01:09:49.880
And I just mean that, uh, it's, it's a way to start your conversations

957
01:09:49.880 --> 01:09:54.600
with the Lord, where he can work in your heart and shift things that

958
01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:56.720
will be pre that you will feel pressure.

959
01:09:56.960 --> 01:09:59.880
You will feel pain, but it's a transition.

960
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.840
go from where you have the fact that you've been holding on to finally you let go the pressure

961
01:10:07.840 --> 01:10:15.280
in the, in the, in the pain that that will happen of every as everything in you that has to shift

962
01:10:15.280 --> 01:10:23.280
in order to be able to come into alignment with letting go, allow that time to be what it is.

963
01:10:24.160 --> 01:10:29.680
Understand that the pressure and the pain that's going to come with, with changing your will

964
01:10:30.800 --> 01:10:37.600
towards surrender, and just release yourself to the process that it's going to feel painful

965
01:10:37.600 --> 01:10:43.280
and pressure it pressurized and just take the, just allow the pain to move through you

966
01:10:43.280 --> 01:10:48.800
and the pressure to move through you. Don't think that it's here. It's not, it doesn't hasn't landed

967
01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:55.520
in the house or on you to stay. It is something that is flowing and moving and move through it.

968
01:10:56.400 --> 01:11:00.720
It's like your thoughts. Think of them as clouds. Think of the pain and the pressure as clouds and

969
01:11:00.720 --> 01:11:06.960
understand this is what is needed in order for God to answer my prayer. This is God answering

970
01:11:06.960 --> 01:11:11.200
my prayer right now. He's not even waiting until tomorrow. It's already painful. It's

971
01:11:11.200 --> 01:11:16.320
already pressurized. I'm allowing God to change me until I can finally let it go.

972
01:11:16.880 --> 01:11:24.080
So I say that to say, to release, not no pun intended, but to release the pressure from you

973
01:11:24.080 --> 01:11:30.000
that you have to do it now. Understand you may not be able to, but you may be able to tomorrow.

974
01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:35.760
You may be able to in five minutes, you may be able to do it next week. But so I just wanted to

975
01:11:35.760 --> 01:11:41.200
set expectations that there might be this process and don't be scared of the process while you're in

976
01:11:41.200 --> 01:11:45.360
it. Don't think, oh my word, something's wrong. I still can't give it over to the Lord. I'm still

977
01:11:45.360 --> 01:11:51.040
struggling. It's still hurts. I still have all these accusations that I'm trying that I'm asking

978
01:11:51.040 --> 01:11:58.160
God to like be with me in my negative emotions while I'm mad at him. And God's like, that's fine.

979
01:11:58.160 --> 01:12:03.200
You can be mad at me. You can be afraid. You can have accusations, but don't turn your back for me.

980
01:12:03.760 --> 01:12:12.000
Wrestle with me like Jacob asked me to address your anger. Now I may not address your anger,

981
01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:22.000
but wrestle with me through this stuff. Face me in it and allow me to answer your anger,

982
01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:28.640
your fear, your accusations. I may not give you an answer that sounds logical to you, but spiritually,

983
01:12:28.640 --> 01:12:35.440
I will change your heart so that you don't need an answer from me because you've experienced enough

984
01:12:35.440 --> 01:12:43.760
of me that your experience of me overcame your anger. It overcame your fear, even though I never

985
01:12:43.760 --> 01:12:49.200
addressed it, even though I never gave you an answer to the question, but your experience with

986
01:12:49.200 --> 01:12:55.520
me overcame all those negative emotions. So anyway, that's what I just wanted to kind of prepare you

987
01:12:55.520 --> 01:13:01.040
because I knew that me just saying what I'm saying, all of that sounds great, but it can sound

988
01:13:01.040 --> 01:13:06.480
like this huge leap from where it is that you are to where it is that God wants you to do. He wants

989
01:13:06.480 --> 01:13:10.720
you to surrender. And you're like, Hey, look, I've been trying Lord. So just a lot. So you'll go

990
01:13:10.720 --> 01:13:15.760
through this process and it could be short. It could be longer and don't be afraid of the process.

991
01:13:15.760 --> 01:13:20.080
Understand that is God answering your question. Cause you've asked God, would you move me into a

992
01:13:20.080 --> 01:13:26.560
posture where I can surrender? So God's like, okay, let's start moving. And so just, just allow

993
01:13:26.560 --> 01:13:31.360
the pain and the pressure to move through you like a cloud and not resist it and think it's

994
01:13:31.360 --> 01:13:36.320
wrong. And it shouldn't be like this. No, it's everything in you that is shifting to come into

995
01:13:36.320 --> 01:13:46.080
alignment so that you can finally surrender. Does that make sense? Yes. Well, and I even remember,

996
01:13:48.320 --> 01:13:54.960
um, I don't know, a couple of months ago, I guess just crying one night, just, just crying out. I

997
01:13:54.960 --> 01:13:58.880
think I might've told you that Ken was here even, and he tried to come in and console me because he

998
01:13:58.880 --> 01:14:04.640
was in the living room when I was in the bedroom and I was just crying and just like, it was God

999
01:14:04.640 --> 01:14:11.360
and me. And I was just talking to him from my heart, just take away the idols, take away everything

1000
01:14:11.360 --> 01:14:18.160
that needs taken away, bring things to order. And that's the night that I just really cried out to

1001
01:14:18.160 --> 01:14:22.720
him and Ken came in and was trying, and I couldn't even look, I couldn't even really look at him.

1002
01:14:25.440 --> 01:14:30.240
Yeah. Cause it was just, I was having an encounter with the look with father. Really. It felt like

1003
01:14:30.240 --> 01:14:36.960
father even. That's great. Yeah. Good. That's wonderful. You know how to do this. You know,

1004
01:14:36.960 --> 01:14:43.840
how to meet your father. All you have to do is the, the, the, the threshold that you uniquely

1005
01:14:43.840 --> 01:14:51.280
will run into with your father, based on y'all's experience together, you'll run into a particular,

1006
01:14:51.280 --> 01:14:56.400
you'll run to an edge, you'll run to a border and that you run into a border and trying and

1007
01:14:56.400 --> 01:14:59.840
getting and walking closer to him and moving more deeply into.

1008
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.120
them, you will run into a border and then you're going to have to

1009
01:15:03.120 --> 01:15:04.960
fall into that place of unsafety.

1010
01:15:05.760 --> 01:15:08.360
So, you know, we all have to do that.

1011
01:15:08.360 --> 01:15:10.200
We all have, we all have those points.

1012
01:15:10.200 --> 01:15:14.400
And sometimes it depends on, on our relationship with the Lord and where it

1013
01:15:14.400 --> 01:15:18.320
is that we are with him in certain areas, in certain areas, our borders way back

1014
01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:23.640
here, and then in other areas, we we've stretched and our borders up here, you

1015
01:15:23.640 --> 01:15:27.960
know, that we believe God to this degree, you know, or we believe God to this

1016
01:15:27.960 --> 01:15:32.720
degree or whatever, but eventually we do get, but, but we always have some

1017
01:15:32.720 --> 01:15:37.040
border to which we don't believe him past, to which we're afraid of him, to

1018
01:15:37.040 --> 01:15:42.360
which we're like, not sure if we can entrust him with our emotions or whatever.

1019
01:15:42.360 --> 01:15:45.840
So, or our situation or our marriage or whatever.

1020
01:15:46.320 --> 01:15:51.720
Um, so anyway, just, just ask him to take you through this process, but I wanted

1021
01:15:51.720 --> 01:15:55.880
to kind of give you some guidelines of like, okay, this is where you're going.

1022
01:15:56.280 --> 01:15:57.880
This is what you'd ask of the Lord.

1023
01:15:58.040 --> 01:16:00.040
And this is what the process will look like.

1024
01:16:00.040 --> 01:16:02.120
And this is how to interact with the process.

1025
01:16:02.120 --> 01:16:04.000
So that goes faster.

1026
01:16:04.280 --> 01:16:06.400
There's less resistance, that kind of thing.

1027
01:16:07.560 --> 01:16:11.800
So yeah, I think so.

1028
01:16:11.800 --> 01:16:12.160
Yeah.

1029
01:16:12.680 --> 01:16:16.080
I know you still have to do it, but I wanted to give you some, some

1030
01:16:16.080 --> 01:16:21.280
assurance of like, okay, this is what's going on, but we all still have to do it.

1031
01:16:21.720 --> 01:16:24.680
Um, so, but anyway, but yeah.

1032
01:16:24.840 --> 01:16:25.200
Yeah.

1033
01:16:25.320 --> 01:16:29.640
Well, I felt like you had some wisdom to, to give.

1034
01:16:30.440 --> 01:16:31.840
Well, I'm glad it was helpful.

1035
01:16:32.120 --> 01:16:36.840
So I'm going to, in this, um, when this finishes, um, uh, hopefully,

1036
01:16:36.880 --> 01:16:38.640
hopefully I'll be able to do it today.

1037
01:16:38.960 --> 01:16:41.800
Um, you know, this will be uploaded with all your other transformation

1038
01:16:41.800 --> 01:16:43.440
sessions, you can watch it.

1039
01:16:44.000 --> 01:16:46.760
So I think this'll be a, yeah, this'll be a helpful one.

1040
01:16:46.760 --> 01:16:47.120
Yeah.

1041
01:16:47.520 --> 01:16:51.120
And I don't know if this is connected, but many years ago when I was new, even

1042
01:16:51.120 --> 01:16:56.400
in the church, one of my friends, she, one day she's, she just said, you are

1043
01:16:56.400 --> 01:17:02.000
going to, you are birthing many things and yeah, yeah.

1044
01:17:02.880 --> 01:17:05.840
You have a lot to in you that needs to come out.

1045
01:17:05.920 --> 01:17:06.480
That's great.

1046
01:17:07.040 --> 01:17:09.880
She also said your birth, that you're birthing many ministries.

1047
01:17:10.640 --> 01:17:11.280
Very cool.

1048
01:17:11.880 --> 01:17:12.320
Very cool.

1049
01:17:12.320 --> 01:17:17.680
And, and then someone else in another, who was it?

1050
01:17:17.960 --> 01:17:22.480
Said you're so God's got to forget to put, put something in you.

1051
01:17:22.480 --> 01:17:27.200
That's, that's going to go up to those that are seemingly over you.

1052
01:17:28.760 --> 01:17:30.000
Okay, great.

1053
01:17:30.720 --> 01:17:32.880
So that's always, I've tried.

1054
01:17:33.080 --> 01:17:33.320
Yeah.

1055
01:17:33.320 --> 01:17:36.560
I've tried to remain in a humble place with that because that's

1056
01:17:36.760 --> 01:17:41.880
kind of carrying something that, um, and then the one other thing they said, there

1057
01:17:41.880 --> 01:17:45.880
was a sound or something going to come to me that was going to be used.

1058
01:17:45.920 --> 01:17:50.200
I was going to come through, through me or through, it was going to be released

1059
01:17:50.360 --> 01:17:55.280
in this area, like here, and I wondered if that wasn't all that was brought here

1060
01:17:55.280 --> 01:18:00.320
through all the people that, you know, through Cedar Creek, because I'm like,

1061
01:18:00.720 --> 01:18:03.360
I'm the only person in my town that's really goes up there.

1062
01:18:03.400 --> 01:18:03.880
Yeah.

1063
01:18:04.680 --> 01:18:05.080
Yeah.

1064
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:08.360
Um, yeah, I don't know.

1065
01:18:08.440 --> 01:18:12.560
But like Dwight said, we, we have to remain in that humility.

1066
01:18:13.360 --> 01:18:13.760
Yeah.

1067
01:18:13.760 --> 01:18:18.160
Um, that's exciting.

1068
01:18:18.800 --> 01:18:19.200
Good.

1069
01:18:19.880 --> 01:18:20.920
Thank you.

1070
01:18:20.960 --> 01:18:22.280
This has been helpful.

1071
01:18:22.560 --> 01:18:23.640
I'm so glad.

1072
01:18:23.800 --> 01:18:24.800
I'm so glad.

1073
01:18:25.400 --> 01:18:30.720
And, um, and so I, um, you know, just, well, if I may, may I just pray over you

1074
01:18:30.720 --> 01:18:31.360
before we leave?

1075
01:18:31.360 --> 01:18:31.920
Yes.

1076
01:18:31.960 --> 01:18:33.000
Yes, absolutely.

1077
01:18:34.080 --> 01:18:36.400
Laura to pray that, um, you would be with Karen.

1078
01:18:36.400 --> 01:18:41.040
Thank you so much for, um, the, the heart of humility that you have placed in her,

1079
01:18:41.480 --> 01:18:46.040
um, for how she has, um, for how she's chosen to follow you for how she's chosen

1080
01:18:46.040 --> 01:18:50.560
to see you that you see that she's been able Lord when others haven't Lord to see

1081
01:18:50.560 --> 01:18:56.320
you as tremendously good, that she had the faith to step out and believe that you

1082
01:18:56.320 --> 01:19:01.840
were good and believe that she could step out and, and, um, uh, and receive her

1083
01:19:01.840 --> 01:19:02.560
inheritance.

1084
01:19:02.920 --> 01:19:07.800
And so we pray that you would give her more rest that you in you, that you would

1085
01:19:07.800 --> 01:19:13.640
give her more peace that you would, um, show her Lord how to surrender and let go

1086
01:19:13.640 --> 01:19:16.040
of things so that now you can carry the load.

1087
01:19:16.320 --> 01:19:22.280
You can carry the burden, the way, the responsibility, the outcome that she

1088
01:19:22.440 --> 01:19:27.680
enjoys more and more, the, uh, the opportunity to just ride with you.

1089
01:19:28.480 --> 01:19:30.120
Thank you for everything that you poured into her.

1090
01:19:30.120 --> 01:19:31.640
Thank you, Lord, for how she's blessed.

1091
01:19:31.640 --> 01:19:35.200
Ken for how she's blessed the old ways for how she's blessed the people.

1092
01:19:35.240 --> 01:19:40.640
Dwight Dale, the people that are at Cedar Creek for how she's blessed me for how

1093
01:19:40.640 --> 01:19:42.840
she blessed the ladies in the rest intensive.

1094
01:19:43.240 --> 01:19:47.960
Thank you for everything in her spirit, Lord, that she gives out, um, her, her

1095
01:19:47.960 --> 01:19:54.760
joy, her hopefulness, her optimism, her, her, um, uh, her solid view Lord of who

1096
01:19:54.760 --> 01:20:00.000
it is that you are, uh, and pray that you would, um, just do in her.

1097
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.320
what is needed in order to allow all of these things within her to come out all of these

1098
01:20:06.320 --> 01:20:12.560
wonderful things that you've put in her to birth to express to change creation and pray that she

1099
01:20:13.680 --> 01:20:21.200
and Lord I stand into an agreement with her that you would that you would position her

1100
01:20:21.760 --> 01:20:29.120
to be able to and walk her through emotionally and entrust with you Lord and safety to be able

1101
01:20:29.120 --> 01:20:40.560
to let go of of Ken and the marriage so that she can have it so that she could enjoy it so that

1102
01:20:40.560 --> 01:20:48.240
she can have what you've gifted and that so that the burden of like keeping it all together when

1103
01:20:48.240 --> 01:20:53.680
you know if if it be your will Lord which I don't know but I would hope and believe that it would

1104
01:20:53.680 --> 01:21:00.320
be Lord for them to for them to stay together Lord that when they do that that she wouldn't

1105
01:21:00.320 --> 01:21:06.480
carry because because she sustained something Lord by how it how it and how it's birthed and so that

1106
01:21:06.480 --> 01:21:13.680
she would release it to you and that everything would come together regardless of and and without

1107
01:21:13.680 --> 01:21:18.720
her doing anything so that she would know that she can rely for the rest of her life on it being

1108
01:21:18.720 --> 01:21:24.960
sustained by your goodness and not by anything that she has to do or she has to make sure she

1109
01:21:24.960 --> 01:21:30.240
keeps correct pray that you would just release her that you would release the heavy burden off of her

1110
01:21:30.240 --> 01:21:37.040
and then give her rest and I release Lord in in your spirit um thank you Lord for what it is that

1111
01:21:37.040 --> 01:21:44.240
you have done in me and I um and uh Lord from that place the Lord of being one with you and being in

1112
01:21:44.240 --> 01:21:50.480
your spirit Lord um and being united with your spirit um from my spirit Lord I release um from

1113
01:21:50.480 --> 01:21:57.440
heaven and from that union Lord rest Lord into Karen's life that she would expand into her spirit

1114
01:21:58.080 --> 01:22:05.200
um and that she may experience more of that rest from you into her life in Jesus's name amen

1115
01:22:06.400 --> 01:22:14.160
all right thank you Ashley you're welcome always good to see your joy your smile I appreciate it

1116
01:22:14.160 --> 01:22:22.400
it lightens my day thank you you too all right you have a real good day okay all right I will

1117
01:22:22.400 --> 01:22:31.200
I'm gonna get a massage later nice very jealous I'll talk to you later bye bye