WEBVTT

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Okay.

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Okay.

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How are you today?

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I'm doing pretty good.

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How about yourself?

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Doing good.

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Is it a better day than yesterday?

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Yeah, it's a little bit.

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There'd be days like that, right?

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Oh, yeah, that's true.

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Yeah, it's a really nice spring weather.

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And it's incredibly windy and like 40 degrees.

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So it's just kind of one of those like gloomy stay inside days.

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So I like had to pull on my sweaters.

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So cold today.

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I know.

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So the past few days I've been very hot.

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So, and I'm sorry about the lighting. Let me fix that really quick.

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Probably just in the dark, actually, instead of that, let me just.

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Let me just turn.

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And then I'll just move to a different part of the table.

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And then I'll just move to a different part of the table so that the

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outside light is actually shining on me.

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Let me scoot over. Sorry.

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No, you're good.

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I was like, Oh my word. You can't even see me.

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Okay.

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So, yeah. So anyway, my central air has been out.

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Since before Christmas.

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And the, the.

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So I did not have. Whoa.

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Sorry. I've not had.

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I was, in fact, I was even out of my apartment for.

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Three.

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Three weeks.

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Three weeks.

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And then I got back in.

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Sorry.

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Getting all this.

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Usually a lot of times the other direction works better,

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but I guess this time of day, this one's going to work better.

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So.

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The warranty company won't.

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I don't know what the deal is.

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They're.

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It's been described to me as that they're dragging their feet.

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I don't know what the deal is.

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There's something going on, but.

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And that means that.

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I had to get some heaters. So I have some heaters now.

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And so I've been having, I've been using those, but now that the wet,

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but then whenever they get the weather gets hot.

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Well, the Hager's aren't going to help me. And so I.

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I bought a little fan to like stick.

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To my apartment.

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And it was over.

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It was 85 degrees in my apartment.

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Window open.

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And the fan going in.

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Oh, my goodness.

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I know. So I'm like in my apartment, I'll be sweating.

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And so anyway, when it, when the weather turned cool today,

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it was a little bit nice.

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85 In my apartment.

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And so.

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For Dawson.

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My little dog.

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We're kind of.

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I don't know.

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Not at the mercy of the weather, but we're just, we're very.

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Very in tune to the weather.

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Yeah.

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Well, it's good to see you.

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Oh, man.

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I just feel like, I don't know. I feel like my whole life is changing.

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And.

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I just, I feel like.

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I don't know, like the past couple of years have been so intense.

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And I feel like all of a sudden.

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I'm being awakened to something that I never knew.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry. I'm trying not to cry.

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But if I would have only known this years ago.

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When I went through.

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Hardest time.

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Or it would just give anything.

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The past couple of years.

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I don't know.

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I don't know.

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a psychotic ward, and going through all of that. And I have never been shaken so incredibly hard.

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It almost ruined me. I mean, Eric was six weeks old at the time when he got admitted to the

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hospital. And it has just been so intense trying to recover from that. And then realizing all of

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these truths and realizing who God and who Jesus actually is to me. It's like, how can I accept

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that and realize that, but still come to peace with all the pain that I've been through?

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You know what I mean? Like, how do you... I feel like this is still such a process of

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understanding everything in a way, but I feel like all the things that I've been through in my life,

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it's hard to see the big... it's just hard to make a sense of it all.

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Because I feel like the things that I went through, the things that our family has gone through,

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and then if you look in light of who God is, it's like, how does that line up? You know what I mean?

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How can that... is it simply because I wasn't abiding in him or that I didn't have the right

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or that I didn't have the right mentality that we went through that? Or was it just God's will

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that we went through that? And it's just, I guess I have so many questions, so many questions about

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everything in my life right now. And I feel like it's the right time to start to be okay

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with questioning it and to just kind of just let the light into the dark basement of my heart.

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That's how I feel. But it's just so, so overwhelming when it is just years and years and

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years of stagnant, like there was no life in what the light is being shed in now. There was no life

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in there before. And now it seems like there's so many boxes I have to dust off and sort through.

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And it's like, where do I even go? Does that even make sense?

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Oh, yeah.

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Very normal part of the process. The difference is so many people aren't willing to press in

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like you are. And that is something that's very precious to the Lord. You remember when Jacob

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wrestled with... in fact, this was something that God brought to... taught me last night after I

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got off the call. So I know, so it's kind of, it's very fresh, very new. It's like, oh, this is

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interesting. Jacob wrestled with God. And as a result, and he said, you know, I will not let you,

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he told the Lord, I will not let you go until you bless me. And what God ended up doing is not only

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did he bless Jacob, but he named an entire nation, his firstborn chosen son that he considered to be

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very precious because they called Israel his firstborn son. He named his son for the rest,

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you know, of forever, by the name Israel. And Israel means he wrestles with God. So he named

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his son off of, by the aspect of their relationship, that of all things that it could have

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highlighted is it highlighted the struggle that Israel, you know, Jacob, the nation, his people,

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whoever, would choose to have with God. In other words, it means a lot to the Lord. He considers it

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very important to him, very precious, that when we feel that we're hurt by him, because that's what

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Jacob felt. He'd been going through, I mean, think of how much that he'd gone through for 20 some odd

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years when he'd been working with Laban, not to mention, you know, how he'd been, how we kind of

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get the impression that maybe he'd grown up with Esau. And then, of course, he was the deceiver,

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and then he stole Esau's birthright. And I mean, what kind of animosity did there have to be

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between two brothers that he would steal his birthright, you know, with a bowl of soup,

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and then he would actually do it by deceiving his father. So we went through all of that,

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and then the whole 20 years, and working seven years for a wife he didn't intend to get, and

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then work another seven years for the wife he really didn't want. I mean, talk about thinking,

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God, where were you? Why on earth did you allow me to do all this? All this pain. So he wrestles

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with God, and so it was very precious to the Lord, which is surprising to me, but it's apparently

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very precious to the Lord that

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that when we feel hurt by him and we don't understand,

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that we don't abandon him, can you hear me okay?

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Oh, there we go.

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Okay, yeah, maybe it's Zoom,

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it'll just shut down.

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You know, it did it last night,

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it just would shut down and then reboot.

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I think it's just overloaded poor thing.

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I'm sure Zoom is doing what they can

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to like build new servers with all of the traffic

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that they're getting.

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So it's something I've just kind of learned too.

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Okay, well, it shut off again.

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Let's just be more patient.

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So anyway, I find it very interesting

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that it's important to God that we don't abandon him

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when we feel hurt by him, but that we press in

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even to the point of struggling with him

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because it means that we're determined to not let him go

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and their relationship with him is important enough to us

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that we want to work it out.

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There was a time where I was struggling with the Lord.

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I was going through a major PTSD,

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major clinical depression that got me down

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to suicide level, which is very hard for this personality

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that's always very happy.

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And it got me down to suicide level

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and I was very, very angry at God.

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And God told me, he said,

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Ashley, I understand that you're struggling

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and I understand that you're going through all of this

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and I have patience and I love for you in it.

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And I know you're angry at me and all of that.

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He said, we can work with that together.

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He worked through that together, but he said,

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whatever you do, he said, do not shut me out.

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He wasn't mean when he said it

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because I couldn't handle mean.

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I was very, very delicate and fragile at the time.

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And he just said, whatever you do, Ashley,

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don't shut me out.

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He said, if you need to struggle, even if it's with me,

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he said, that's fine, we'll partner together with it,

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but don't shut me out, don't abandon me.

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So I found it interesting that apparently

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that's an important enough element

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in our relationship with him

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that he defined a whole nation by that,

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not that characteristic, but by the aspect

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of how they chose to engage and interact with God.

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That when it got serious, when times got tough,

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when they felt not only hurt,

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but they felt hurt by him specifically,

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not hurt by somebody else out in the world,

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but like, God, where were you?

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And why did you do this?

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And why did you allow this?

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Or whatever the struggle is,

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that they were willing to know,

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I'm gonna grab ahold of you

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and I am not going to let you go

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until we get this thing worked out.

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It's apparently very important to God.

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So I say that as an encouragement

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that when you're going through this

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and you're working on this with the Lord,

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you're not, you don't feel condemned by yourself,

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to yourself, because understand

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that God doesn't condemn you for it.

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He actually is very pleased

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because while others have chosen to abandon him,

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you're not, you're pressing in and you're pursuing

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and you're determined, we're gonna work this out.

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I'm not gonna let you go.

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Dad, come on, until we get this worked out.

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So I just wanted to say that as an encouragement

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through all of this,

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because it's already hard enough to go through,

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but then when you add this self-condemnation

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of I shouldn't be doing this on top of it,

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it just pulls you down and it doesn't have any validity.

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It's not real, it's not the truth

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from either you or for the whole point

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that he just made a whole nation after it.

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So that every time someone would say the name Israel,

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Israel or another nation,

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they would constantly say,

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what would come out of their mouth

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is he who struggles with God,

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he who struggles with God.

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I find it just really interesting.

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So anyway, just encourage that he loves you

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that much more what you're going through

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is that important to him

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that you're still willing to engage with him on it.

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But yeah, as far as like all of the reconciliation,

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et cetera, yes.

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So I was very, I've been through this as well.

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And so the things that the Lord has shown me

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about what to do during this time

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is similar to what I explained yesterday

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when you asked your question,

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there's different ways to do it.

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And I've done both.

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So I'm gonna tell you what it is that I choose to do now

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because it's out of a place of rest.

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It's out of a place of understanding who it is that I am.

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And it's just to,

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you know, like we were talking about last night

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where we feel all this shame,

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we feel all this condemnation.

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It's the same thing for.

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Lord, where were you? I mean, I feel that the balances need to be reconciled. I feel

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entitled to demand restitution. You know, all of those things. We're having that struggle.

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How do we overcome that? The only person that we know that can heal us from it is the very

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person we're mad at because he's not healing it. As long as we allow it to happen in the

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first place, what we think of in our mind, in our heart, is he's the one who did this

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and he's not healing it. Then it's like this double whammy. And then sometimes even going

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through in this struggle where we're like, God, why aren't you doing this? And why didn't

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you do this? We then sometimes feel like he's not even talking to us, that he won't respond.

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So then it's a triple. It really bad. So the fastest way that I've learned to heal, because

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I've learned two different ways. I have learned by pressing into the point where it was, I pushed,

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and I tried to figure out, and I tried to learn, and I went to teachings, and I scoured the Bible

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for reasons to try to give my soul peace by understanding, at least. I mean, if I couldn't

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even get God to reconcile the fact or admit the fact that he'd done something to me, again,

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and the fact that this is how my mind thinks is in that spot is you've done this to me and it's

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wrong. Even though I know God does never do anything wrong. Like, well, then why do I feel

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that he does? Someone's got to pay for this because I didn't hurt myself. So somebody's got to pay.

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So I'm just saying that that honestly is what we think. And I wanted it to make sense because I

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thought that if things made sense, and if I could understand them in my soul, then I could heal.

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And what God, and so I did do that, but it only got me to a certain point and it took years and

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years and years and years and years. So what God then did to begin to heal me within weeks

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instead of years is if I did what I was talking about last night with it regarding like shame and

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condemnation, but it's the same principle that would apply here where I stopped thinking about

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all the negative and trying to call him to account for what he did. I stopped giving it

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time, effort, and energy. And I just focused on, he says that he's love. He says that he's light.

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He says that he's this, he says that he's that. And I just focused so much on it that I allow

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it to fill my world because I'm choosing to believe it's real because I don't feel that it's

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real. In fact, I feel the opposite, but I'm having to make a choice that God gave me dominion over

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creation, including my feelings. And I am choosing to have dominion. And so even though I don't feel

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it, I am going to choose that if he says it, I'm going to believe it. And I try to fill my life

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and with, and focus on all of the good that he's light, that he's love, he's abundance,

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that he says that he calls me into nothing but freedom, never into hurt, never into pain,

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but always into more freedom and always into more love and never into death and all of that.

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And I just focus on it. And I noticed that when I did that, it got so big and bright in my world

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that there wasn't any room for the other. And it, it, in my spirit, it made fun. Everything

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finally made sense as opposed to me trying in my soul for it to make sense. Once I finally

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understood in my spirit, it just felt like it made sense. My soul accepted it as enough of a reason,

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like it completely makes sense. So I didn't go backwards. I went from this direction,

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going from this direction works. What's most counselors teach. It's what most preachers

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preach, but it's, it's a long, hard path. That's all of that inner healing stuff, et cetera.

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So the reason I wanted to point out those two paths is you have a choice and they both work

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because I don't want it to sound like the things that I'm saying may mean that all of this other

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stuff that we learn about isn't true. No, it is absolutely true. In fact, you can read about it

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in the Bible that all these things work, but you also read about this other, and God says,

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you have the opportunity of which one do you want to choose? So I've chosen this one. I've

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walked the other one. It's just hard. It's long. It's arduous and it's working. It's.

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really painful. And sometimes it'll take an equal amount of time to heal that it took for you to go

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through the pain, but over here it doesn't. Over here, you know, the Israelites went through 40

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years of, you know, wandering around in the wilderness and Jesus redeemed it in 40 days.

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You know, everything happened really, really fast. So I just wanted to mention there's two

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different paths, so it didn't sound like I was saying all the other didn't exist. No,

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it absolutely does. I'm choosing this one. Everyone has the opportunity to choose.

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The other makes our soul feel good in the fact that we feel like we've got this right,

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but in the end, we're coming to the same conclusion. We always come to the fact that,

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oh, God really wasn't meaning to be mean. It was how I received it. And I received a lie

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thinking that actually wasn't happening and that actually wasn't the truth. So that's what I have

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done and it allowed me to heal years worth of stuff in weeks instead of taking years to heal

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from years, which is what I was doing before. And it even only got me to a certain point.

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But yeah, I mean, there's more I could say on that, but that's,

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but I mean, what are your, what are your thoughts so far?

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Yeah, no, I feel like that really helps me. I mean, I feel like that really resonates with me.

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My thing right now is that I don't even feel like I know where to begin with my relationship with

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God picking up where we left off. Because honestly, it has been years and years and

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years of silence. There's been times of like, wow, that is really God. There is still a lot

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of peace in certain directions. Like when Josh quit his full-time job and we had really good

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income to start being self-employed. Like I still have the ability to feel peace from God

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with certain decisions and even certain things that I've seen very clearly have been God.

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But then the day to day, like who God actually is, it just seems so vague to me. Like,

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how do I tap back into that? Do you know what I mean?

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Yeah, I know completely.

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And like when I, especially, especially with reading the Bible and praying or communicating

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with God that they're like, the communication part is just non-existent or else that's what

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it feels like.

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Communication to him or communication from him or both?

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I would say mostly to him, but I would say, I would say definitely feel it from him too. Yeah.

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Yeah. So one of the things to do in stepping into, how do I explain it? In shifting into

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working from a place, not just, how do I, sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to actually begin

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this. Based off of the understanding, our new, our understanding of how we're positioned in Christ

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and our identity in Christ. It's important that the only, to understand that the only way that

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we can receive that is to completely dismantle our old paradigm. The old paradigm.

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If you have the old paradigm and the new paradigm, the old way of understanding things,

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the old way of doing things, the old way of making decisions, the old way of communicating

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with God, the old way of learning who God is and growing in knowledge of him and all of that.

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If you, we take our understanding of how all of those systems work, but try to receive a new

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revelation of a new paradigm. And we try to like get them to reconcile. They will not ever reconcile.

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The only way that we can actually step into this is to take this one and completely get rid of it.

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Now, sometimes it's very scary for people and they can only, they feel that they only have

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a measure of faith to get rid of part of the paradigm at a time. So maybe they feel like they

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can only get rid of this one, but they need to keep these others in order to keep themselves

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balanced because otherwise it's just too much. So they get rid of this one to replace it with this

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one. You know, so that at least they'll do that, do it in parts and in bits and whatever,

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but there's no way for the two to exist at the same time. So they choose which aspects that they

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feel of the old paradigm that they feel that they can get rid of in order to kind of help their soul

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kind of teeter-totter is if we're like learning to walk kind of teeter-totter into a new understanding

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and God allows that and it's fine. We don't have to traverse a hundred miles in a second. It's just,

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it can take some time, but then there are certain times in our lives where we decide to make very

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dramatic choices and we take all of this and get rid of all of it.

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it at the same time and I've done that too. I'm just like check the whole thing because I was just

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burnt out spiritually, emotionally, physically, whatever. So I made the decision at a certain

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point in my life, the whole thing's gone. I'm throwing the entire thing out. I have no idea

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what on earth is going on and I'm going to pursue this thing that I'm even worried might even be

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wrong. It might give me no foundation whatsoever. It might be or it might be contradictory to the

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Lord or whatever it is that I was fearful at the time but I was so desperate and I was like okay

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this is presenting itself to me as what I believe is a new revelation from the Lord because it

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sounds so wonderful. I would love life to actually work like that. I would love that to be true

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without God and he's presenting to or I'm being presented with the idea that it might be true,

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that he really does operate like that and he really is like that and this is who he is.

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So instead of doing it piecemeal, I was like the heck with that. I want to jump into this

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thing with both feet even risking my heart, whatever it was that felt

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difficult to make the leap. Risking it because I thought I might land on nothing.

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Then I have nothing to go back to because I burned it. I burned the bridge. So it just

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depends. It depends on where you are in your life at the time, the season as to whether or not you

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want to get rid of parts of it or just throw out the whole thing all at once and jump into this

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force. If you do that, it will happen faster. If you get rid of all of it at once, it'll happen

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faster. It also though will feel more, you'll feel more pressure because you'll feel the

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pressure of getting rid of all of them all at the same time, but you'd also move faster.

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So it's your choice depending on what you feel in your spirit like, I don't know,

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but where you are in your season. But just know that whatever it is, however it is that you've

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approached the Lord before and assumed this is how we communicate, this is how God communicates,

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this is who he is, this is who I am in relationship to him, this is whatever,

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know that in order to claim something very drastically different,

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it can't, that this thing has to go either one at a time or all at once. But regardless,

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it has to completely go in order to be able to accept this new thing that in your heart and in

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your spirit, you might be so concerned about this huge risk of what if it's not real or what if it

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doesn't work. I've burned my bridge over here. It's scary. That's faith. Faith is the substance

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of things hoped for. We're really hoping it's true. And it's the substance of it, meaning that

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we're actually going to act on it. It actually has weight to it as opposed to some ethereal vapor of

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wouldn't that be nice. We actually create substance out of that hope. And that's called faith,

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because it says that faith can't exist without works. In other words, if we really do believe it,

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it's going to manifest in our life, because we believe it's reality. And we always make decisions

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based off of the way we think that reality actually works. Whether it's conscious or

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subconscious, we always make decisions on our actions or thought, whatever, based off of what

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we believe is actually true. So anyway, my point is that we talk about where do you actually, where

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do you even start? I wanted to say all of that as preparation for you to understand, you know,

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okay, going into this, what it is going to mean so that you wouldn't feel that, oh, my goodness,

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I feel like I don't have my feet under me. Yeah. You have to get rid of this, because if you keep

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trying to get the two to reconcile, you're going to get frustrated. And then if you finally, if you

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know that, oh, no, I'm going to have to get rid of one of these in order to accept the counterpart

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over here. Well, then you can feel like, oh, my word, I'm going to burn my bridge. And what if

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this is even wrong? I just wanted to prepare you for the mental and spiritual decisions you're

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going to have to make so that when they come to you and you feel overwhelmed, or you think, oh,

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my goodness, this sounds scary. It sounds irresponsible. It sounds spiritually responsible,

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all kinds of things that you're prepared to know that, no, this is normal. This is the process.

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This is exactly the process. It's not, it's not odd. It's not, oh, well, some people go through

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it. And some people don't know this is the process so that you'd at least be prepared.

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It's going to be hard enough anyway. But at least, you know, it's coming.

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least you don't think that, I think that somehow something's off and this isn't

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the way it's supposed to be, not the way it's supposed to be.

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And then as far as like so what to do, the way that I appealed the fastest

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is I had to abandon myself to just allow God to, if I didn't know who He

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was, in fact I got really bad, really bad. I got to the point where 12

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years ago maybe, that I almost walked away from the Lord completely and I told

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Him, I didn't know if He was even real. And this is somebody who's been

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saved since they were four. I was baptized when I was nine. It's just all

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kinds of stuff and I was known as the perfect Christian girl among the parents

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and the children that knew me. It was a very, very oppressive reputation because

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I felt that I had to live up to it. So anyway, my point is that when I got to

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this point, this is like consider, I didn't think that it was possible for

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someone like me who had a close relationship to the Lord to get to this

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point, but I did. And I thought, well I don't even know if He even exists because

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I was so hurt. I was so hurt by Him and it took me years to get to the point

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where I thought, if I'm this hurt and things are this bad and He's not

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talking to me, maybe He's not even real. Maybe everything that I that has I

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lived up to this point was just fake or I thought I heard Him all kinds of stuff.

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I questioned everything. So I was at a very, very, very low point and I had to

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and I didn't even know if He was good or not. I thought, okay, well I finally made

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the decision. It was all in a ten minute amount of time. Fell on my knees and in

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the middle of that, I'm just trying to shorten the story for you because I

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don't mind telling it to you, but just try to shorten it for your sake. I

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finally made the decision, no, I apparently believe that God exists

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because I am so mad at Him that I'm refusing to let the anger go because I

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have to let it go if I don't believe He exists. I'm gonna have to drop it in

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order to pretend to live life however I want because God doesn't, you know. I had

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to let go of my anger and I refused. Even how much it felt like,

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oh, I wouldn't live feeling this weight anymore, looked so palatable to me, it was

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not worth me letting go with how mad I was. I was that mad at Him. And so I

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thought, apparently I believe He's real because I'm refusing to let my anger go for this. So, I then told the Lord, it's like, okay, Lord, I don't, I don't, if I feel like this, I don't, that means that I

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don't know if you're good or evil anymore. I used to. I now don't know. I really

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don't know. And so I told Him, I said, but even if you're evil, because I

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don't know who you are anymore, even if you're evil, if you exist, I can't not

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follow you. So, even if you are walking me in life to the point that you are trying

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to, that you are getting me to the point where I'm martyred for your name and I

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will have just pain and suffering after pain and suffering and other people get

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guess that I don't or whatever it is, I was the depressive state I was in and

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terrible mental and darkness I was in. If that is true, I mean, even if you tell me,

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even if that is the path that you have for me, if you exist, I can't not follow

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you. So, even if you're evil and even if that's what you intend for me, I'll choose

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it. That's what I'll do. And I'll just die as a martyr. And so, then He told me, He

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was very sweet about it. He said, you're right, Ashley, you don't know who I am.

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You don't know if I'm good or evil anymore. So, I'm going to completely

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dismantle everything that you know about me. I'm even going to rip out your

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foundation, because you don't even know who the cornerstone is anymore. You don't

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even know if Jesus is real. I mean, it's like, it's like, you know, nothing. He

438
00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:04.440
said, so I'm going to rip everything out. And we're going to start all over. He

439
00:34:04.440 --> 00:34:10.560
said, in this time, I'm going to reveal to you who I am, instead of you coming up

440
00:34:10.560 --> 00:34:14.400
with your own ideas and your own doctrines from reading the Bible and

441
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:19.239
listening to teachings and creating your this house, based off of what it is that

442
00:34:19.239 --> 00:34:25.199
you understood. So, He said, I need you to get with the being of who I am, and know

443
00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:32.199
me through that. So, and He did, He had to completely dismantle that. And the reason

444
00:34:32.199 --> 00:34:35.760
I say that is that was His answer to me. And what He ended up doing is He said,

445
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:39.000
there's two things I want you to, He said that I'm going to reveal to you about

446
00:34:39.040 --> 00:34:44.800
myself. I'm going to reveal my goodness. And then I'm going to reveal my love. So

447
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:50.040
it took him several years to reveal his goodness to me, because I was, I had, I

448
00:34:50.040 --> 00:34:53.480
was, again, you know, you were talking earlier about, you could choose to do it

449
00:34:53.480 --> 00:34:56.920
the hard way or the easy way. I was doing everything the hard way. So it took him

450
00:34:56.920 --> 00:34:59.920
years to teach me his goodness, because I felt I had to work for it.

451
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.000
Everything had to make sense to my soul.

452
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:06.000
It was the only paradigm in which I understood to spiritually mature.

453
00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.000
So it took him a long time.

454
00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:14.000
The love was taking a long time until finally I started,

455
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:17.000
I abandoned everything in my old paradigm

456
00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:20.000
because before I was just getting rid of parts of it in order to set parts.

457
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:22.000
I finally just thought I'm still too burnt out.

458
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:24.000
This is taking entirely too long.

459
00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:29.000
This has been over 12 years or 11 years or however long of it at the time.

460
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:32.000
Since I had fallen on my knees and gotten to that point with the Lord

461
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:36.000
and I'm still hurting, forget the entire thing.

462
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:38.000
Forget my entire paradigm.

463
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:41.000
Lord, who are you and what on earth is going on?

464
00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:46.000
And when I did that and I opened myself up to just allowing him to love me

465
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:49.000
and to go about my day and to know that he delights in me

466
00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:54.000
and I can make decisions and he was pleased

467
00:35:54.000 --> 00:35:56.000
and I didn't even have to hear his voice

468
00:35:56.000 --> 00:36:00.000
in order for me to have permission from him to make certain decisions

469
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:03.000
and that he would enjoy that which was something new for me

470
00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:08.000
because before I didn't even make a move unless I heard from the Lord

471
00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:13.000
and to just accept and believe because I wasn't even sure if it was true.

472
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:15.000
I chose to believe.

473
00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:20.000
I think that he delights in me enough that if I make my own decision without asking him,

474
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:22.000
I think he'll be happy.

475
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:25.000
And so I started doing things like that

476
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:33.000
and so I came to understand who he is and the fact that he loves me by observing.

477
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:37.000
By observing my spirit when I went about my day

478
00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:40.000
because I wasn't trying anymore to be a good Christian.

479
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:42.000
I wasn't trying anymore to obey him.

480
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:44.000
I wasn't trying anymore.

481
00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:47.000
I'm not saying that I was disobeying him but I'm saying I wasn't trying.

482
00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:49.000
Oh, yes, God, I'm so sorry.

483
00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:50.000
I've got to make sure.

484
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:51.000
I just gave it all up.

485
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:52.000
I'm like, forget it.

486
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:54.000
Forget what everybody else thinks about me.

487
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.000
If I start doing or saying things that normally I wouldn't have ever said

488
00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:02.000
because I'm finally trying to give myself freedom.

489
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:05.000
I started doing all that and finally when I just let go

490
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:08.000
and then I would just watch the Lord in my life.

491
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:12.000
Either he would do things or he would make me feel a particular way

492
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:15.000
or I could just rest and the fact that I wasn't worried anymore

493
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:17.000
about whether or not I was going to obey him.

494
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:23.000
I was just going to let his very being somehow come into my spirit's understanding

495
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:27.000
and my spirit's knowledge by osmosis somehow some way during the day.

496
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:30.000
And that's how I began to heal.

497
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:32.000
Fast.

498
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:34.000
I've always been taught the opposite.

499
00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:39.000
That in order to learn who God is, in order to know whether or not he loves me,

500
00:37:39.000 --> 00:37:44.000
I have to learn by having read the Bible and studied it to the nth degree,

501
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:46.000
looked up all the right words and songs,

502
00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:52.000
and obey him no matter what.

503
00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:54.000
And somehow he'd always still come through for me.

504
00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:57.000
That would prove his love for me and all of that.

505
00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:00.000
And that's the paradigm I had to get rid of.

506
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.000
And so and just accept his being.

507
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:09.000
So that helped me heal because I was no longer trying to reconcile

508
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:13.000
the two different systems, no longer trying to reconcile this old paradigm.

509
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:15.000
Well, maybe I should just read the Bible more.

510
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:17.000
Maybe I should spend more time in prayer.

511
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:20.000
Maybe I should spend whatever.

512
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:26.000
Also, someone revealed God's book to several years ago.

513
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:30.000
And they said and gave me the prophecy.

514
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:32.000
They said, actually, I was driving.

515
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:34.000
They told me my pastor told me this in front of the whole church.

516
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:36.000
He's standing up on the platform.

517
00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:40.000
Actually, you said, I very rarely get the Lord to tell me something about

518
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:41.000
somebody else.

519
00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:43.000
But he said, I was driving down the road the other day.

520
00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:45.000
And he said, Ashley, God told me something about you.

521
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:48.000
He said, I was like, the whole church is looking at me.

522
00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:53.000
He said, take the verse where it says you were fearfully and

523
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:54.000
wonderfully made.

524
00:38:54.000 --> 00:39:00.000
He said, God has told me that you don't like who you are,

525
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:02.000
that you're always concerned that you're,

526
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:05.000
that you're not enough and that you wish you were something else.

527
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:07.000
Because see, I thought I wasn't pleasing to God.

528
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:12.000
I thought my character, my personality weren't pleasing to God.

529
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:13.000
And so he said, God,

530
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:17.000
God told me to tell you that to switch you were fearfully and

531
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:20.000
wonderfully made to switch them and to say,

532
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:22.000
I am wonderfully and fearfully made.

533
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:23.000
He said,

534
00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:28.000
because God says that if you come to accept and

535
00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:33.000
observe and understand and receive how wonderful you are,

536
00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:34.000
in other words,

537
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:38.000
to start taking delight in yourself as you go about the day and you make

538
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:43.000
certain decisions and you do things that just feel like you, he said,

539
00:39:43.000 --> 00:39:44.000
it's from,

540
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:49.000
it's from fondly receiving how wonderful I made you that you will

541
00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:53.000
come to understand that I love you.

542
00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:56.000
And therefore you'll fear me not fear as in like, Oh my word, he's holy.

543
00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:00.000
But fear is in, you know, as in being able.

544
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:10.800
to receive his love and understand how wonderful he is because of how wonderful I understood

545
00:40:10.800 --> 00:40:19.360
he made me and he liked that. He liked how wonderful it made me. So that is how I have

546
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:25.920
begun to heal. I've not fully healed in that, but that's how I began to heal very quickly

547
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:31.840
and from a lot of the pain of what I've been through where I was trying so hard to reconcile

548
00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:38.880
the fact that God, why? Because in my old paradigm, I believed that God's love came

549
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:44.800
through spiritual maturity. So in order to earn God's love, I had to be spiritually mature

550
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:51.200
and that spiritual maturity came through pain. So in other words, if you shorten that,

551
00:40:51.200 --> 00:40:56.240
I believe that God's love came through pain. The only way that I could earn God's love,

552
00:40:56.240 --> 00:41:03.440
the only way that he says that he loves me, that he would love me is if I went through a lot of

553
00:41:03.440 --> 00:41:09.520
pain in order to be taught and be spiritually mature so that he would love me. Because the

554
00:41:09.520 --> 00:41:13.360
more spiritually mature I am, the more he's pleased with me and the more that he loves me

555
00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:19.360
and it was wrong. So anyway, I thought that that was the paradigm and I was mad. I had to get rid

556
00:41:19.360 --> 00:41:25.200
of that whole thing and just accept that, no, I'm fine the way I am. I don't have to obey him.

557
00:41:25.200 --> 00:41:29.200
I don't have to love him. It's not that I was trying to disobey him, understand, but I got

558
00:41:29.200 --> 00:41:35.120
rid of the feeling of obligation. I don't have to obey him. I don't have to love him. I don't even

559
00:41:35.120 --> 00:41:41.280
have to receive his love, but he says he's going to love me anyway. So I'm going to just watch him

560
00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:51.520
do it and I'm just going to observe it and he comes fast. He's so fast. So because remember,

561
00:41:51.520 --> 00:41:56.080
if he was willing to love us as much as he did while we were hating him and killing him,

562
00:41:56.720 --> 00:42:03.600
then he can handle us dropping that feeling of obligation where we're not even feeling

563
00:42:03.600 --> 00:42:09.760
obligated to receive his love. He'll still go above and beyond to love us because what he sees

564
00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:15.360
is we're struggling with him. We're not abandoning him. We're struggling with him in this.

565
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:19.200
That's part of this whole idea of like, I'm just going to drop my obligation. We're not abandoning

566
00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:25.600
him. It's still a willingness to struggle with him and he delights in that. And so he's like, okay,

567
00:42:25.600 --> 00:42:29.440
all right, now that you've dropped everything and you understand you're not even obligated to

568
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:34.080
receive my love because I gave you free will to choose to receive it or not, I'm going to pour

569
00:42:34.080 --> 00:42:39.360
out my love on you and you are naturally because of how I made you, you're naturally going to

570
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:44.320
receive that love and it's going to grow that same degree of love in you to which you believe

571
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:49.040
that I'm loving you. It's going to grow that love in you to the same degree that you're going to

572
00:42:49.040 --> 00:42:54.080
want to work back out on me. So we don't have to worry that it's something you have to drum up.

573
00:42:55.120 --> 00:43:00.880
And that's how I did it. I healed by letting go.

574
00:43:01.520 --> 00:43:06.240
All right. Well, that makes so much sense because I've like, since we left the conservative church,

575
00:43:06.240 --> 00:43:14.160
it was just like my, my world flew apart. And I've seen these, these different sides of when

576
00:43:14.160 --> 00:43:19.920
people leave church or people leave Mennonite church or they're finally free. Either they like

577
00:43:19.920 --> 00:43:26.320
eventually go back or they stay in the form that they were in, or they go on this completely crazy

578
00:43:26.880 --> 00:43:32.480
crazy. Like I have to learn as much about God as I possibly can. I have to listen to all the

579
00:43:32.480 --> 00:43:38.400
podcasts and like do all of the things because my view of God was so warped and now I can finally,

580
00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:44.080
you know, I just have to learn and learn and learn. And something about that still didn't feel

581
00:43:44.080 --> 00:43:49.920
right to me. One of my good friends, I mean like all she does is just read and podcast and she

582
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:55.440
doesn't have peace in her heart at all. And she really admits it. And so then it leaves me stuck

583
00:43:55.440 --> 00:44:00.960
to where I'm like, okay, well, everything I've been taught is not going to help me out of this

584
00:44:01.520 --> 00:44:08.720
and everything that I see them doing isn't working. So where do I go? Yeah. And how do I

585
00:44:08.720 --> 00:44:13.680
navigate a new relationship with Lord without falling off the deep end, becoming new age

586
00:44:13.680 --> 00:44:22.320
and adopting all these crazy new ideas, but still just basically become free. You know what I mean?

587
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:30.000
Just break into the freedom of who God actually is. And I don't know, just not forcing God's hand

588
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:36.480
to move or to show me his love through the actions that I'm doing, like reading the Bible, praying,

589
00:44:36.480 --> 00:44:43.120
doing all these right things, you know, in a way, whoops, my battery is dying. In a way,

590
00:44:43.120 --> 00:44:53.280
I can see now that that is a form of me forcing his hand to manipulate him, to act upon my actions

591
00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:57.680
that I have been doing so faithfully and so good to him. Sorry, I need to plug my phone.

592
00:44:57.680 --> 00:44:59.840
Really insightful. That's exactly.

593
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.320
All of that work is a form of manipulation.

594
00:45:04.320 --> 00:45:05.200
We're working for it.

595
00:45:05.200 --> 00:45:08.200
And God's like, we're not working for it.

596
00:45:08.200 --> 00:45:11.480
You can give it to me, but don't work for it.

597
00:45:11.480 --> 00:45:12.880
No, that helps a lot.

598
00:45:12.880 --> 00:45:15.680
But that definitely helps a lot to know how to navigate.

599
00:45:15.680 --> 00:45:19.240
Because I felt frozen for so long because we were,

600
00:45:19.240 --> 00:45:24.880
I mean, I have seen the destruction of moving

601
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:28.720
into this weird freedom of like, I

602
00:45:28.720 --> 00:45:31.440
guess it's just almost a new age thing where they all

603
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:33.880
of a sudden get so Holy Spirit crazed

604
00:45:33.880 --> 00:45:35.960
that they're free to do whatever they want.

605
00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:38.840
And I'm like, that's not what I want.

606
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:41.240
And then there's the other side where it's just

607
00:45:41.240 --> 00:45:45.200
there's no balance of actually finding

608
00:45:45.200 --> 00:45:49.920
the reason why you left the church to find freedom.

609
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:53.320
There just doesn't seem to be that balance

610
00:45:53.320 --> 00:45:54.720
or that actual truth.

611
00:45:54.720 --> 00:45:56.920
Like, this is how you break out of it.

612
00:45:56.920 --> 00:46:00.120
This is how you find freedom without losing your mind

613
00:46:00.120 --> 00:46:01.280
on either end of the spectrum.

614
00:46:04.720 --> 00:46:08.440
Because God isn't ever anything to be afraid of.

615
00:46:08.440 --> 00:46:13.760
So if we abandon ourselves to His being, that's fine.

616
00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:15.560
You know, He won't be safe.

617
00:46:15.560 --> 00:46:17.920
He won't lead us down a dark path.

618
00:46:17.920 --> 00:46:21.440
And also, there's another thing that's

619
00:46:21.440 --> 00:46:24.520
really important for us to know on this journey.

620
00:46:24.520 --> 00:46:27.440
And it kind of touches on what we were talking on last night.

621
00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:31.240
You know, when Holly was talking about the fact of so

622
00:46:31.240 --> 00:46:34.800
concerned about, you know, am I going to?

623
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:35.880
Was she saying that?

624
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:37.480
Or was that me?

625
00:46:37.480 --> 00:46:38.080
It was Holly.

626
00:46:38.080 --> 00:46:38.960
I think it was Holly.

627
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:44.280
Was it Holly talking about where we're also,

628
00:46:44.280 --> 00:46:46.840
I know that she was talking about the possibility

629
00:46:46.840 --> 00:46:48.120
of missing out.

630
00:46:48.120 --> 00:46:49.720
But I thought that somewhere in there

631
00:46:49.720 --> 00:46:51.680
she mentioned, like maybe in a statement

632
00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:54.080
before she actually asked a question,

633
00:46:54.080 --> 00:46:59.840
that we talk about the fact that we get concerned

634
00:46:59.840 --> 00:47:05.120
that we're going to mess up, or make a mistake, or miss God.

635
00:47:05.120 --> 00:47:07.640
He's guiding us in a particular direction.

636
00:47:07.640 --> 00:47:10.440
And we're like, OK, I think this is what I'm supposed to do.

637
00:47:10.440 --> 00:47:11.160
But I'm not sure.

638
00:47:11.160 --> 00:47:12.160
But what if it's wrong?

639
00:47:12.160 --> 00:47:13.160
What if it's wrong?

640
00:47:13.160 --> 00:47:16.360
And the thing is that if we desire,

641
00:47:16.360 --> 00:47:19.920
that God desires us more than we desire Him,

642
00:47:19.920 --> 00:47:24.880
He is more excited about us dropping all sense and belief

643
00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:28.640
of obligation to Him or of anything.

644
00:47:28.640 --> 00:47:31.440
He is more excited about us stepping into sonship

645
00:47:31.440 --> 00:47:32.760
than we are.

646
00:47:32.760 --> 00:47:36.240
And He's more committed to our progress.

647
00:47:36.240 --> 00:47:43.240
In other words, to our journey to be closer to Him.

648
00:47:43.240 --> 00:47:46.320
He is more excited about it than we are.

649
00:47:46.320 --> 00:47:48.000
And He is more determined than we are

650
00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:49.360
that it will come to fulfillment.

651
00:47:49.360 --> 00:47:51.280
And in fact, He's promised and He's

652
00:47:51.280 --> 00:47:54.160
committed that if that's what we desire,

653
00:47:54.160 --> 00:48:02.280
He promises on His own self, I think that's in Hebrews,

654
00:48:02.280 --> 00:48:07.520
promises on Him, He made an oath to Him on His own self

655
00:48:07.520 --> 00:48:11.280
that He would fulfill that and that we would do it.

656
00:48:11.280 --> 00:48:13.320
If that's what we choose to desire,

657
00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:18.240
He promises on oath to Him on Himself

658
00:48:18.240 --> 00:48:22.360
that He will allow it to happen.

659
00:48:22.360 --> 00:48:24.880
So my point is that we don't have

660
00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:27.600
to be worried that, oh, I'm going to be making mistakes.

661
00:48:27.600 --> 00:48:31.560
What if I step out and in my old paradigm, oh, my word,

662
00:48:31.560 --> 00:48:33.080
that would have been a sin.

663
00:48:33.080 --> 00:48:37.080
And that's part of the whole letting go,

664
00:48:37.080 --> 00:48:41.480
is to watch God and to observe our lover.

665
00:48:41.480 --> 00:48:44.440
Love us, because remember, love is all about the giver, not

666
00:48:44.440 --> 00:48:47.640
the receiver, that His nature is so loving

667
00:48:47.640 --> 00:48:50.800
that even when we do something that in our old paradigm

668
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:52.200
would be a mistake.

669
00:48:52.200 --> 00:48:53.800
Maybe even in the new paradigm, it's

670
00:48:53.800 --> 00:48:56.920
not like the best route to take.

671
00:48:56.920 --> 00:49:00.760
But regardless of that, even if it's not the best route

672
00:49:00.760 --> 00:49:06.400
to take, it doesn't matter, to watch that in the new paradigm,

673
00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:08.240
we can do things that we would have

674
00:49:08.240 --> 00:49:11.120
used to determine as mistakes, and it does not

675
00:49:11.120 --> 00:49:14.480
change how He interacts with us, even to the point

676
00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:16.800
where if we don't do anything, if we don't do things

677
00:49:16.840 --> 00:49:18.960
perfectly right, because we're like toddling

678
00:49:18.960 --> 00:49:21.200
and we're trying to learn, He'll still

679
00:49:21.200 --> 00:49:23.160
allow something to happen.

680
00:49:23.160 --> 00:49:26.120
He'll still give us good gifts, when in the old paradigm,

681
00:49:26.120 --> 00:49:29.440
He would give us that if we had done X, Y, or Z,

682
00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:33.680
because in the old paradigm, we had to work for it.

683
00:49:33.680 --> 00:49:34.720
We had to earn it.

684
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:36.920
And if you do X, you'll be blessed.

685
00:49:36.920 --> 00:49:39.360
And if you do Y, you'll be cursed.

686
00:49:39.360 --> 00:49:42.320
There's no such thing as that in the new paradigm, which

687
00:49:42.320 --> 00:49:44.120
is not something that I've talked about yet.

688
00:49:44.120 --> 00:49:45.720
But that's very, very Old Testament,

689
00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:47.080
that if you do X, you'll be blessed.

690
00:49:47.080 --> 00:49:48.520
And if you do X, you'll be cursed.

691
00:49:48.520 --> 00:49:51.880
There's no such thing as that anymore under the new covenant

692
00:49:51.880 --> 00:49:55.040
if we choose to operate according to the new covenant.

693
00:49:55.040 --> 00:49:57.480
By the way, just a little nugget for something

694
00:49:57.480 --> 00:49:58.680
we'll talk about later on.

695
00:49:58.680 --> 00:50:00.680
But the reason.

696
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.600
That whole blessing curse thing, it does still exist if we choose to operate in it.

697
00:50:04.600 --> 00:50:08.080
That's why we have seen it in our lives previous to this point.

698
00:50:08.080 --> 00:50:11.240
And that's why other people see it in their own lives.

699
00:50:11.240 --> 00:50:15.720
Because if we choose to operate according to that system, God said, well, fine, if you

700
00:50:15.720 --> 00:50:19.240
want to choose that covenant, if you want to choose to live under that covenant, if

701
00:50:19.240 --> 00:50:22.680
you do those things, if you believe that you do those things, you'll be blessed, I'll bless

702
00:50:22.680 --> 00:50:23.680
you.

703
00:50:23.680 --> 00:50:24.680
If you do those things and you believe that you'll be cursed, fine.

704
00:50:24.680 --> 00:50:25.680
He's like, why?

705
00:50:25.680 --> 00:50:26.680
Why do you want to do that?

706
00:50:26.680 --> 00:50:32.840
That was an old covenant, you don't have to operate like it anymore, you can operate like

707
00:50:32.840 --> 00:50:33.840
this if you want to.

708
00:50:33.840 --> 00:50:39.160
So in other words, we have a lot more power and authority to dictate how the Lord interacts

709
00:50:39.160 --> 00:50:40.720
with us than we thought.

710
00:50:40.720 --> 00:50:46.360
Again, I just want to point out that there's two systems working at the same time.

711
00:50:46.360 --> 00:50:52.440
Prior though to the New Testament, we weren't allowed to step into this one, but now that

712
00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:57.240
Christ died, we now have the option to step into this one, that's what's new about the

713
00:50:57.240 --> 00:50:58.240
new covenant.

714
00:50:58.240 --> 00:51:01.960
It's not that the old one isn't in operation, we still have a choice to choose the knowledge

715
00:51:01.960 --> 00:51:06.760
of the tree of good and evil if we want to, both trees are still in existence in the garden.

716
00:51:06.760 --> 00:51:11.800
But now we have the opportunity to come to the tree of life when we couldn't before.

717
00:51:11.800 --> 00:51:15.800
So my point is that, yes, sometimes even if you feel like, oh, my goodness, you know,

718
00:51:15.800 --> 00:51:20.920
I'm so afraid, what if in the new thing, I'm like, let myself go so much in order to observe

719
00:51:20.920 --> 00:51:23.600
God's love, that I start making mistakes.

720
00:51:23.600 --> 00:51:27.920
I start saying mean things, and I've never said mean things.

721
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:33.640
Or what if I start, I don't know, being, feeling like I made a very selfish decision.

722
00:51:33.640 --> 00:51:37.320
Oh, my goodness, I must have let myself go too much.

723
00:51:37.320 --> 00:51:39.680
No, that's part of it.

724
00:51:39.680 --> 00:51:47.760
Watch yourself do things, trying to live in greater abandon to his love and observe how

725
00:51:47.760 --> 00:51:50.320
he continues to love you.

726
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:55.440
And what will change our character, so that we don't do selfish things, so that we don't

727
00:51:55.440 --> 00:52:02.480
say mean things and all that, what will change our character is his love, as opposed to trying

728
00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:04.920
to change our character, which is what we did over here.

729
00:52:04.920 --> 00:52:08.640
It's a list of do's and don'ts, a list of good and evil.

730
00:52:08.640 --> 00:52:13.320
And we were choosing, I need to do these things by my sure willpower, I need to not do these

731
00:52:13.320 --> 00:52:15.760
things by my own sure willpower.

732
00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:22.640
Under the new system, we'll naturally do those things, the more that we understand that we're

733
00:52:22.640 --> 00:52:24.000
loved by God.

734
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:28.760
But in the beginning, you're two or three years old.

735
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:35.000
So you don't know what his love looks like, and God, and so you'll grow in that character.

736
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:40.800
And so in the new system, you might feel that you look uglier for a while, that you're acting,

737
00:52:40.800 --> 00:52:41.800
not like physically ugly.

738
00:52:41.800 --> 00:52:45.640
I talk about a lot of things we do or say, you know, kind of like training wheels, training

739
00:52:45.640 --> 00:52:46.640
wheels on a bike.

740
00:52:46.640 --> 00:52:51.440
The old system, we had all these training wheels, and I was like, okay, it looks to

741
00:52:51.440 --> 00:52:53.120
the world like you're riding a bike.

742
00:52:53.120 --> 00:52:55.360
It looks to the world like you're functioning.

743
00:52:55.360 --> 00:52:58.240
But now I'm telling you take the training wheels off.

744
00:52:58.240 --> 00:53:02.320
So now you're going to have greater freedom than you had riding a bike with training wheels.

745
00:53:02.320 --> 00:53:04.640
What's the problem with making the transition?

746
00:53:04.640 --> 00:53:06.720
You were really good at this one.

747
00:53:06.720 --> 00:53:09.640
You were really good at riding the bike with training wheels.

748
00:53:09.640 --> 00:53:13.640
You take the training wheels off, often at the beginning, it looks like you can't even

749
00:53:13.640 --> 00:53:14.640
ride a bike.

750
00:53:14.640 --> 00:53:18.000
You're like, I'm, I'm doing, I'm falling off the bike.

751
00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:20.680
I haven't fallen off the bike in years.

752
00:53:20.680 --> 00:53:23.880
I've had trouble for how long?

753
00:53:23.880 --> 00:53:26.360
Why on earth am I doing it?

754
00:53:26.360 --> 00:53:30.760
Your life or your, your decisions, you look uglier.

755
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:36.760
Your character looks uglier on the outside because you're learning.

756
00:53:36.760 --> 00:53:41.840
It's part of the process of transitioning and God created the process.

757
00:53:41.840 --> 00:53:52.320
We have to stop vilifying a process in thinking that, that the process of transition, because

758
00:53:52.320 --> 00:53:57.240
we're not perfect here and immediately perfect here when we change, that the in between is

759
00:53:57.240 --> 00:53:58.240
sin.

760
00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:04.600
We need to stop vilifying something that God created, process that God created for a toddler

761
00:54:04.600 --> 00:54:08.840
to toddle around and get off balance and fall.

762
00:54:08.840 --> 00:54:13.800
We need to stop thinking that when we do that, trying to transition into something new with

763
00:54:13.800 --> 00:54:16.280
the Lord, that that's a sin.

764
00:54:16.280 --> 00:54:18.680
We don't think it's a sin for a toddler to do that.

765
00:54:18.680 --> 00:54:19.680
Why on earth?

766
00:54:19.680 --> 00:54:20.680
And God created that process.

767
00:54:20.680 --> 00:54:24.920
And he did that as a type and shadow to show, Hey, by the way, in the spirit, when you're

768
00:54:24.920 --> 00:54:30.000
transitioning and you're learning something new, you're going to look worse for a while

769
00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:35.240
than you did in the old system because you're now learning how to do it in a different way.

770
00:54:35.240 --> 00:54:39.960
If God created the process to look like that, we have got to under, we have got to stop

771
00:54:39.960 --> 00:54:43.960
condemning ourselves by thinking it's, it must be bad.

772
00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:44.960
It's not bad.

773
00:54:44.960 --> 00:54:49.440
If God's the one who created it to work like that, it's okay.

774
00:54:49.440 --> 00:54:53.760
So I just wanted to say that because otherwise, you know, if you move into that, you know,

775
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:57.760
when you move into this, you could like me and so many others, I was even talking to

776
00:54:57.760 --> 00:55:00.040
somebody the other day that was so discouraged with themselves.

777
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.360
self. And they came, it was one of my clients and they were just like, Ashley, I messed up again.

778
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:11.200
I knew better. And I knew all of this and I was operating a lot, you know, in the new system.

779
00:55:11.200 --> 00:55:16.400
And then, and I was doing so well for so long. And then all of a sudden I made this decision

780
00:55:16.400 --> 00:55:21.760
over here. And they're like, I was so embarrassed. I'm so disappointed in myself. And I had to remind

781
00:55:21.760 --> 00:55:27.840
them, you know, if you're learning to ride the bike again, or you're learning to walk,

782
00:55:27.840 --> 00:55:34.800
you're gonna toddle and you're gonna fall over. It's part of the process. And I had warned them

783
00:55:34.800 --> 00:55:39.280
about it ahead of time because I didn't want them to not be on a call with me going through this

784
00:55:39.280 --> 00:55:44.000
and get discouraged and start piling on this self-condemnation again. So I just want to

785
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:50.480
prepare you for it as well. When it comes, it's going to feel ugly and it's going to feel like

786
00:55:50.480 --> 00:55:54.880
that's embarrassing. I can't believe that came out of me. It's part of the process.

787
00:55:54.880 --> 00:56:03.760
So it's just like, go watch God love you like that. When you were never able to receive his love,

788
00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:07.760
when you did those things, you were never able to hear or feel or receive his love over here.

789
00:56:08.560 --> 00:56:13.920
So now in this system, you'll do those things and you'll now see that he loves you and it never

790
00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:18.480
changes. And that he still gives you blessings that you think, yeah, but I don't deserve that.

791
00:56:18.480 --> 00:56:24.400
Because I did, I didn't, I did something bad. We have a hard time getting rid of that word bad.

792
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:28.960
I've done something bad. Why would you give me something good? If I did something bad,

793
00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:32.960
Lord, that, that really, really bothers me. My whole world feels upside down right now. How

794
00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:37.440
on earth can that be true? That's part of how we feel overwhelming and loved by him.

795
00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:42.560
And it's stuff like that. That's going to heal the fact that we're trying to require restitution

796
00:56:42.560 --> 00:56:48.000
of him because like you did this to me, you did that to me, whatever it's making part of that

797
00:56:48.000 --> 00:56:54.560
is making mistakes, making mistakes over here and watching his love. Absolutely overwhelming

798
00:56:55.600 --> 00:57:01.120
that all of this, that is what starts healing us and starts taking care of all of this. And

799
00:57:01.120 --> 00:57:05.440
we're not even paying attention to it, but I just wanted to mention all of those things are

800
00:57:05.440 --> 00:57:09.920
natural part of the process. It don't self-condemn or to be discouraged or disappointed in yourself.

801
00:57:09.920 --> 00:57:16.560
When it happens, I do it. I probably did. I think I did some things yesterday too. Like,

802
00:57:16.560 --> 00:57:21.520
oh man, that's disappointing. And I, but I, I, I noticed that heaviness settling in. I was like,

803
00:57:21.520 --> 00:57:26.160
that's not a God. That's my old paradigm of self-condemnation. I've got to deal with that

804
00:57:26.160 --> 00:57:31.040
first before I even deal with whether or not what I did wasn't was a wise action or not.

805
00:57:31.040 --> 00:57:34.320
I have to deal with the self-condemnation first. That's more important to the Lord.

806
00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:38.640
And then once I deal with that, then I can deal with the action, deal with my reputation, deal

807
00:57:38.640 --> 00:57:43.600
with saying sorry to somebody or whatever the issue may be. It's this I have to deal with first

808
00:57:43.600 --> 00:57:47.520
because this is more important to the Lord. So I just want to prepare.

809
00:57:59.040 --> 00:58:07.680
So it is, yeah, I think that we are, um, that your time is good until, I mean, it's good.

810
00:58:07.680 --> 00:58:12.640
We can talk however long you want. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I am fine on time,

811
00:58:12.640 --> 00:58:17.440
you know, for when you are. And, um, so anyway, did you have any questions about what it is that

812
00:58:17.440 --> 00:58:24.400
I said, or did you have another question? I don't know if this might feel like a lot to you. I mean,

813
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:29.680
like in other words, if I've just kind of like overloaded you, um, I just, I just know that

814
00:58:29.680 --> 00:58:34.960
these are the things that I wish someone had told me. And I didn't, I didn't, um,

815
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:39.840
know them for so long. Finally, I had someone to start speaking. Uh, and, and it was Cindy

816
00:58:39.840 --> 00:58:44.480
Anderson teaching for a while that began to kind of give me something on the outside, not just

817
00:58:44.480 --> 00:58:51.280
from my spirit. Um, but, uh, I'm just saying the things that I thought that I know that mean the

818
00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:59.280
most to me in this transition period. I want to not self-condemn. No, it makes a lot of sense.

819
00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:04.880
I feel like, yeah. I mean, how can you feel when you feel like your whole world being clipped

820
00:59:04.880 --> 00:59:11.760
upside down, but I feel like it's just in small matters and in small amounts that I can process

821
00:59:11.760 --> 00:59:20.400
and take all this in and let, let the small amounts of the new truths transform the old parts

822
00:59:20.400 --> 00:59:25.520
and just letting the process take place. And no, I feel like everything you've said has brought a

823
00:59:25.520 --> 00:59:33.120
lot of clarity to, to me and it's, yeah, it helps a lot make sense of everything that's going on.

824
00:59:35.120 --> 00:59:41.440
I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm sorry for what you've been through. I do know, um, we are the outside

825
00:59:42.160 --> 00:59:49.360
of what we go through all looks different. We all have different experiences. Um, but internally,

826
00:59:49.360 --> 00:59:54.400
but because God will use different outside expressions to do the exact same spiritual

827
00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:59.760
work in all of us. So we've all been in the same place, but it's just.

828
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.800
which triggers that happened on the outside

829
01:00:04.800 --> 01:00:06.600
that makes it look different.

830
01:00:06.600 --> 01:00:09.440
But because the world doesn't know that,

831
01:00:09.440 --> 01:00:13.720
they keep thinking that there is this hierarchy of sins

832
01:00:13.720 --> 01:00:18.240
or traumas or whatever, and it's just not true.

833
01:00:19.180 --> 01:00:24.180
Different triggers are used for us based off of,

834
01:00:25.720 --> 01:00:29.000
you know, based off of our own personality

835
01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:31.480
and what it is in our own background

836
01:00:31.480 --> 01:00:33.520
and what it is that's going to pull up

837
01:00:33.520 --> 01:00:37.680
and expose something in us that needs to be gotten rid of.

838
01:00:37.680 --> 01:00:40.640
It's why certain things bother some people and not others.

839
01:00:40.640 --> 01:00:42.760
Well, then those aren't gonna be trigger issues

840
01:00:42.760 --> 01:00:44.760
for those people, but they are gonna be.

841
01:00:45.880 --> 01:00:49.640
So it always brings us into more credo

842
01:00:49.640 --> 01:00:52.940
and pulls us into a place that we feared.

843
01:00:53.940 --> 01:00:58.940
He only does that to prove himself,

844
01:00:59.900 --> 01:01:01.900
to prove that he's gonna appear there

845
01:01:01.900 --> 01:01:04.620
and to prove that there was nothing to fear.

846
01:01:04.620 --> 01:01:07.900
He doesn't take us there to learn something.

847
01:01:07.900 --> 01:01:11.100
He takes us there to prove himself.

848
01:01:11.100 --> 01:01:12.700
It's like, I'm gonna show you that,

849
01:01:12.700 --> 01:01:14.900
I'm gonna take you to the place of your worst fear

850
01:01:14.900 --> 01:01:17.380
and gonna show you that there was nothing to fear

851
01:01:17.380 --> 01:01:21.140
because everything that I told you is actually true,

852
01:01:21.140 --> 01:01:24.900
as opposed to believing it, but not experiencing it.

853
01:01:24.900 --> 01:01:27.500
And we could either, we could do, you know, two things.

854
01:01:27.500 --> 01:01:29.340
We could think, oh, well, I'm really afraid of that.

855
01:01:29.340 --> 01:01:30.340
I hope that never happens.

856
01:01:30.340 --> 01:01:32.660
Or we could all think, oh, I have such faith.

857
01:01:32.660 --> 01:01:35.500
Even if it were to happen, I'd be fine.

858
01:01:35.500 --> 01:01:38.380
Either way, God's like, okay, well, let's go there

859
01:01:38.380 --> 01:01:41.180
so I can prove to you while you're in there

860
01:01:41.180 --> 01:01:42.860
that it's no longer theory.

861
01:01:42.860 --> 01:01:46.740
It's actually something that settles in your spirit

862
01:01:46.740 --> 01:01:51.260
as eternal knowledge that you're here,

863
01:01:51.260 --> 01:01:53.340
you're in like your worst nightmare,

864
01:01:54.380 --> 01:01:57.460
and the thing that you feared actually wasn't true.

865
01:01:59.100 --> 01:01:59.940
He's proving it.

866
01:01:59.940 --> 01:02:02.660
And what he's doing is he's proving himself.

867
01:02:02.660 --> 01:02:05.580
He's proving he's like, see, Ashley, we're here.

868
01:02:05.580 --> 01:02:06.860
Now, this is what you were afraid of.

869
01:02:06.860 --> 01:02:08.220
It was your worst nightmare.

870
01:02:08.220 --> 01:02:09.820
And look, it's fine.

871
01:02:09.820 --> 01:02:12.820
I'm like, wow, I really am free.

872
01:02:13.740 --> 01:02:15.260
He really is that loving.

873
01:02:15.260 --> 01:02:17.100
He really is everywhere.

874
01:02:17.100 --> 01:02:19.700
They're really, I'm sitting here in my worst nightmare,

875
01:02:19.700 --> 01:02:21.740
and it really is nothing to be afraid of.

876
01:02:22.700 --> 01:02:25.180
But until I was there, on the outside,

877
01:02:25.180 --> 01:02:26.300
I was always afraid of it.

878
01:02:26.300 --> 01:02:28.900
I'm like, oh, yeah, but oh, that,

879
01:02:28.900 --> 01:02:31.100
you know, I really don't want you to take me there, Lord.

880
01:02:31.100 --> 01:02:33.820
I really don't want that to happen in my life.

881
01:02:33.820 --> 01:02:34.940
And then when God puts us there,

882
01:02:34.940 --> 01:02:36.420
it's like, see, there wasn't anything to fear.

883
01:02:36.420 --> 01:02:39.700
I'm like, oh, and then it gives you faith

884
01:02:39.700 --> 01:02:42.140
for other things that we haven't walked into yet.

885
01:02:43.140 --> 01:02:47.180
Anyway, it's always, it's a different way to see testing,

886
01:02:47.180 --> 01:02:50.460
to understand that testing is not,

887
01:02:50.460 --> 01:02:53.700
and like God with Abraham, for Isaac,

888
01:02:53.700 --> 01:02:56.700
God wasn't trying to teach Abraham something.

889
01:02:56.700 --> 01:03:00.020
God already knew what decision that Abraham was gonna make.

890
01:03:00.020 --> 01:03:03.780
What he needed to do was he needed to teach.

891
01:03:03.780 --> 01:03:08.580
He needed Abraham to see who God was in that moment

892
01:03:08.580 --> 01:03:12.380
so that Abraham could be freed from the fear

893
01:03:12.380 --> 01:03:15.420
because it was not theoretical anymore

894
01:03:15.420 --> 01:03:17.140
that God would come through.

895
01:03:18.180 --> 01:03:21.260
Abraham was there and God came through.

896
01:03:21.260 --> 01:03:22.820
So he experienced it.

897
01:03:22.820 --> 01:03:24.900
God actually walked it out.

898
01:03:24.900 --> 01:03:26.260
So that's what testing is.

899
01:03:26.260 --> 01:03:29.100
He's not testing us to see if we're gonna,

900
01:03:29.100 --> 01:03:30.580
and I don't even know how I got on the subject,

901
01:03:30.580 --> 01:03:33.860
but God isn't testing us to see,

902
01:03:33.860 --> 01:03:36.340
well, are you gonna make the right decision?

903
01:03:36.340 --> 01:03:38.220
I have taught you up to this point.

904
01:03:38.860 --> 01:03:40.300
So let's give you a test

905
01:03:40.300 --> 01:03:42.020
and let's see if you make the right decision.

906
01:03:42.020 --> 01:03:44.420
See if you're gonna get the right door.

907
01:03:44.420 --> 01:03:45.620
And that's not what he does.

908
01:03:45.620 --> 01:03:47.060
He does it to prove himself.

909
01:03:48.540 --> 01:03:50.460
He's like, I want you to see.

910
01:03:50.460 --> 01:03:52.020
Everything I've been telling you is true

911
01:03:52.020 --> 01:03:53.980
and I want you to watch it.

912
01:03:53.980 --> 01:03:55.300
We took it as the opposite.

913
01:03:55.300 --> 01:03:58.020
We thought that he was using it

914
01:03:58.020 --> 01:04:02.620
to prove ourselves to him that we are.

915
01:04:03.980 --> 01:04:07.620
And it's not, he's like, let me take you there so that,

916
01:04:08.020 --> 01:04:10.380
and I want you to receive it as me proving myself to you.

917
01:04:10.380 --> 01:04:12.020
I want you, I wanna take you there

918
01:04:12.020 --> 01:04:14.860
and I want you to watch me come through.

919
01:04:14.860 --> 01:04:17.420
I want you to observe who I am.

920
01:04:17.420 --> 01:04:19.500
That's how we know that we're loved.

921
01:04:19.500 --> 01:04:20.500
We observe it.

922
01:04:24.780 --> 01:04:26.140
Yeah.

923
01:04:26.140 --> 01:04:26.980
That's good.

924
01:04:30.860 --> 01:04:33.020
Don't know how I got off on that, there you go.

925
01:04:33.020 --> 01:04:33.860
No, it was really good.

926
01:04:33.860 --> 01:04:35.820
I was just thinking if I would have known,

927
01:04:36.020 --> 01:04:38.500
if I would have had that mindset going into

928
01:04:38.500 --> 01:04:39.340
the past couple of years,

929
01:04:39.340 --> 01:04:42.140
it would have been drastically different.

930
01:04:42.140 --> 01:04:42.980
I know.

931
01:04:42.980 --> 01:04:43.900
Drastically different.

932
01:04:43.900 --> 01:04:45.420
I know, me too.

933
01:04:45.420 --> 01:04:50.420
I always thought God was trying to bring me into more pain

934
01:04:50.540 --> 01:04:51.700
so that I'd have greater,

935
01:04:51.700 --> 01:04:53.940
so I'd prove myself in greater spiritual maturity

936
01:04:53.940 --> 01:04:55.260
so that he'd love me.

937
01:04:55.260 --> 01:04:57.660
And God's like, no, no, no, it's opposite.

938
01:04:57.660 --> 01:04:58.980
We thought it was going this direction,

939
01:04:58.980 --> 01:05:00.300
it's going this direction.

940
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.480
I approve of to you, why on earth are you continuing to try to prove yourself to me?

941
01:05:04.480 --> 01:05:08.080
He was like, I don't need it. I already know everything. I'm God. See, that's another thing

942
01:05:08.080 --> 01:05:13.440
that always frustrated me. If he always knew, why on earth was I proving anything? He already

943
01:05:13.440 --> 01:05:18.720
knew how I was going to act. Why was he doing it? He's like, because I'm the one who needed to learn.

944
01:05:19.760 --> 01:05:23.120
Therefore, he's taking me to it so that I, you know, he already knows it.

945
01:05:24.080 --> 01:05:28.160
If it was going, he already knows it. I don't need to prove myself to him because he knows the answer

946
01:05:28.160 --> 01:05:34.080
that he needed himself to me so that I would know the answer. It's the other direction.

947
01:05:34.080 --> 01:05:40.560
And it's free, you know, with your father or with everything else. And, you know,

948
01:05:40.560 --> 01:05:44.480
and everything that you, that you went through, you know, with the Lord, God's wanting to prove

949
01:05:44.480 --> 01:05:49.760
himself to you. He's like, you see the situation? Isn't this your worst nightmare? Where am I in it?

950
01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:56.640
You know, how am I, how am I presenting myself? How am I there? When, if you hadn't been able to

951
01:05:56.640 --> 01:06:02.320
anticipate this, wouldn't you have feared this like nothing else? So God's like, let me put you

952
01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:07.120
there to prove to you who I am. I don't need you to prove yourself to me. I don't need you to like,

953
01:06:07.120 --> 01:06:12.800
oh, God told me to be strong. God told me to do this. God told me to do that. We're naturally

954
01:06:12.800 --> 01:06:18.320
going to be strong, relying on the Lord. If we understand what it is he's saying and what he's

955
01:06:18.320 --> 01:06:23.120
trying to prove of himself in the moment, just watching it, we're going to be filled with love.

956
01:06:23.120 --> 01:06:27.360
We're going to become more like him because we feel loved by him. So we're going to respond back

957
01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:33.680
in love. And we're naturally going to, what's naturally going to come out of this, of us is all

958
01:06:33.680 --> 01:06:38.720
of those fruits of the spirit, love, joy, patience, all those things that in this system we kept

959
01:06:38.720 --> 01:06:44.800
working for. I'm trying to, trying to become more patient. I'm trying to become, you know,

960
01:06:44.800 --> 01:06:49.280
I'm going through all these exercises to teach myself patience and going through all of these

961
01:06:49.360 --> 01:06:53.520
tests in order to teach myself endurance, or God is taking me through them, whichever.

962
01:06:53.520 --> 01:06:58.960
And it's not, God's like, no, no, no. Observe how much I love you. And the more that you are filled

963
01:06:58.960 --> 01:07:03.120
with my love and the more that you are filled with understanding that you are one with me and

964
01:07:03.120 --> 01:07:10.000
that you have my very nature and essence within you, you will naturally bear the fruit of love,

965
01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:15.280
joy, peace, patience. Over here, we were trying to work to actually create the result. Over here,

966
01:07:15.840 --> 01:07:20.960
no, it'll naturally happen. That's why it's called fruit. A tree doesn't have to work for fruit.

967
01:07:21.520 --> 01:07:26.960
It naturally comes by it just absorbing the nutrients it's supposed to. And then everything

968
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:33.440
naturally happened. It's not striving to create fruit. It's naturally going to because it's an

969
01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:40.720
apple tree. That's what it is. It's nature. So our very nature, if we, if we submit ourselves

970
01:07:40.720 --> 01:07:46.320
to the Lord, subject ourselves to his love, and allow it to fill ourselves up, this is all the

971
01:07:46.320 --> 01:07:50.560
nutrients, it's naturally going to be a fruit, as opposed to being over here and trying to,

972
01:07:50.560 --> 01:07:55.360
trying to like back engineer it. Okay, there's an apple tree. I wonder how I can get an apple.

973
01:07:55.360 --> 01:07:59.040
Okay, so how did it do it? And then we're, and then we're having to try to create all this

974
01:07:59.040 --> 01:08:07.440
system that's exhausting. It worked. He wants to do that. The fruits of this, it's supposed to

975
01:08:07.440 --> 01:08:15.280
naturally result. We don't have to think, okay, I'm in this, I'm in this test. So I'm supposed

976
01:08:15.280 --> 01:08:22.160
to prove my strength. I'm supposed to prove I've learned that I can be strong. That's not what's

977
01:08:22.160 --> 01:08:28.640
going on. If we commit ourselves to our love, his love, his love strengthens us. Without work,

978
01:08:28.640 --> 01:08:34.319
we're going to be strong. Without trying, we are going to be strong. Without trying, we're going

979
01:08:34.319 --> 01:08:39.520
to be patient. Without trying, we're going to be, we're going to endure. Because his love in us

980
01:08:39.520 --> 01:08:45.760
transforms us without us understanding what's going on. God showed me this several,

981
01:08:48.160 --> 01:08:56.080
but three months ago, maybe, that the soul doesn't know how to heal itself. It can work and try and

982
01:08:56.080 --> 01:09:02.160
learn in this system. But this over here, the soul doesn't have to learn how to heal itself.

983
01:09:02.160 --> 01:09:08.560
All it has to do is sit back, watch the spirit do it. And then the soul is watching the spirit

984
01:09:09.359 --> 01:09:14.160
heal the soul. And then the soul knows what's going on. Like, oh, apparently that's how it's

985
01:09:14.160 --> 01:09:18.960
done. The soul didn't have to do anything. The soul didn't know how to do it. It didn't know

986
01:09:18.960 --> 01:09:22.960
what was going on. It didn't know how to heal it. It didn't know what needed to be healed or

987
01:09:22.960 --> 01:09:29.120
how to heal it. It didn't understand anything. And it was frustrated and it was confused.

988
01:09:29.120 --> 01:09:36.880
All it knew was, is it was in pain. So if the soul submits itself to the Lord, and just allows

989
01:09:36.880 --> 01:09:43.600
the spirit to come in while the spirit is healing it, all the soul is doing is watching it happen

990
01:09:43.600 --> 01:09:50.640
in their life and realizing, oh, I'm getting healed. I'm not even working for it. The soul

991
01:09:50.640 --> 01:09:55.520
isn't. I'm just watching the spirit to it. Apparently that's how it's done. Apparently

992
01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:58.720
that's what I needed. Apparently that's what needed healing in my life.

993
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.400
didn't have to know prior to it happening.

994
01:10:03.400 --> 01:10:05.840
It just gains the understanding later.

995
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:12.200
So operating the spirit allows a greater power

996
01:10:12.200 --> 01:10:17.960
to come into our life and to take over.

997
01:10:17.960 --> 01:10:22.000
So that's why this is rest.

998
01:10:22.000 --> 01:10:27.560
Rest, this work, striving for rest.

999
01:10:27.560 --> 01:10:28.640
Having to strive for it.

1000
01:10:28.640 --> 01:10:31.360
We work, in other words, we've got activity.

1001
01:10:31.360 --> 01:10:33.760
But we're not working.

1002
01:10:33.760 --> 01:10:35.960
We just rest in our work.

1003
01:10:35.960 --> 01:10:39.320
So that's why all of it, that's why I always talk about rest.

1004
01:10:39.320 --> 01:10:42.480
This entire thing is always just sitting in rest.

1005
01:10:42.480 --> 01:10:47.240
All of these things just happen as we submit and we receive.

1006
01:10:47.240 --> 01:10:48.440
That makes so much sense.

1007
01:10:51.480 --> 01:10:57.880
Yeah, well, one thing, I guess as far as business

1008
01:10:57.880 --> 01:11:02.360
changing gears here, I feel like my business is

1009
01:11:02.360 --> 01:11:07.040
a little monster baby that I created out

1010
01:11:07.040 --> 01:11:09.760
of all of my malfunction.

1011
01:11:09.760 --> 01:11:12.800
That's hilarious.

1012
01:11:12.800 --> 01:11:16.040
But I feel like we're in a very unhealthy relationship.

1013
01:11:16.040 --> 01:11:18.800
I haven't been doing much at all this month,

1014
01:11:18.800 --> 01:11:20.400
just because of everything that I've

1015
01:11:20.400 --> 01:11:23.320
been working through personally, spiritually and stuff.

1016
01:11:23.320 --> 01:11:26.200
There has been not much going on at all.

1017
01:11:26.840 --> 01:11:28.640
Last month was kind of the same way,

1018
01:11:28.640 --> 01:11:31.880
because I could feel it coming.

1019
01:11:31.880 --> 01:11:35.160
I was like, oh no, something's coming.

1020
01:11:35.160 --> 01:11:38.280
But last month, it was still a really good month for me.

1021
01:11:38.280 --> 01:11:41.240
But this month, it's just like there's nothing there right now.

1022
01:11:41.240 --> 01:11:46.520
And I feel like the fish out of water, in a sense,

1023
01:11:46.520 --> 01:11:50.000
in the group, because I am not a business lady at all.

1024
01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:52.760
I don't understand how I get paid.

1025
01:11:52.760 --> 01:11:55.400
I don't understand anything.

1026
01:11:55.400 --> 01:11:57.800
I just get a check, and that's great.

1027
01:11:57.800 --> 01:12:03.280
I do not understand anything as far as money, numbers, nothing.

1028
01:12:03.280 --> 01:12:06.360
And where was I going with that?

1029
01:12:06.360 --> 01:12:09.240
Oh, I forget where I was going with that.

1030
01:12:09.240 --> 01:12:13.440
But I feel like my business has been

1031
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:16.000
an expression of all the malfunctions in my life,

1032
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:20.240
that that's where I turn to.

1033
01:12:20.240 --> 01:12:21.000
I don't know.

1034
01:12:21.000 --> 01:12:22.600
Does that even make sense?

1035
01:12:22.600 --> 01:12:24.080
No, that's exactly right.

1036
01:12:24.080 --> 01:12:26.840
That's the thing.

1037
01:12:26.840 --> 01:12:29.440
My heart is the things that we've

1038
01:12:29.440 --> 01:12:33.360
been talking about all up to this point in the conversation.

1039
01:12:33.360 --> 01:12:37.040
The reason that I say business is because most people are not

1040
01:12:37.040 --> 01:12:39.040
in the place or don't understand that they're

1041
01:12:39.040 --> 01:12:40.920
in the place where you understand

1042
01:12:40.920 --> 01:12:42.920
that you are spiritually.

1043
01:12:42.920 --> 01:12:44.960
Business is an extension of our life.

1044
01:12:44.960 --> 01:12:47.240
So when people are having a problem in business,

1045
01:12:47.240 --> 01:12:49.200
the problem is them.

1046
01:12:49.200 --> 01:12:51.400
Not that they're a problem, but it's

1047
01:12:51.400 --> 01:12:53.960
that all of the issues, all of the struggles,

1048
01:12:53.960 --> 01:12:56.200
all of the things that they doubt about themselves,

1049
01:12:56.200 --> 01:12:58.400
it expresses itself into the business.

1050
01:12:58.400 --> 01:13:02.840
So if the business is unhealthy, it's just a created thing.

1051
01:13:02.840 --> 01:13:05.960
So where on earth did it get its life source from?

1052
01:13:05.960 --> 01:13:09.840
It's its life source that's the problem.

1053
01:13:09.840 --> 01:13:11.520
The reason that I tell people, hey,

1054
01:13:11.520 --> 01:13:14.360
I work with business people, I do that for two reasons.

1055
01:13:14.360 --> 01:13:17.000
One, because they take ownership of their lives a lot easier

1056
01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:19.480
than people who aren't interested in the business.

1057
01:13:19.520 --> 01:13:22.120
And so people need to understand and stand

1058
01:13:22.120 --> 01:13:24.720
and stepping into this shifting in the spirit.

1059
01:13:24.720 --> 01:13:27.520
They need to understand I can't fix them.

1060
01:13:27.520 --> 01:13:29.600
Because the longest time my message was different

1061
01:13:29.600 --> 01:13:31.840
and people kept coming to me that wanted me to fix them.

1062
01:13:31.840 --> 01:13:36.040
I'm like, no, no, I need to try to be able to understand

1063
01:13:36.040 --> 01:13:36.880
I can't fix them.

1064
01:13:36.880 --> 01:13:38.560
They have to take ownership of wanting to do this

1065
01:13:38.560 --> 01:13:39.840
for themselves.

1066
01:13:39.840 --> 01:13:41.920
Business people are more likely to do that

1067
01:13:41.920 --> 01:13:44.240
because people that like to take ownership of things

1068
01:13:44.240 --> 01:13:46.240
for themselves, because they have a dream,

1069
01:13:46.240 --> 01:13:48.520
they tend to gravitate towards business.

1070
01:13:48.520 --> 01:13:50.040
So that's one of the reasons.

1071
01:13:50.040 --> 01:13:52.720
God has also just put it on my heart

1072
01:13:52.720 --> 01:13:54.680
and he's just guided me to it.

1073
01:13:54.680 --> 01:13:57.560
I tried to escape for a long time

1074
01:13:57.560 --> 01:13:59.480
because I was burned out on business.

1075
01:13:59.480 --> 01:14:02.760
And so anyway, that's another reason that I do it

1076
01:14:02.760 --> 01:14:04.120
is because the Lord just put it on my heart

1077
01:14:04.120 --> 01:14:06.480
and it's just like, actually, this is what I've given you.

1078
01:14:06.480 --> 01:14:08.160
I've taught you things.

1079
01:14:08.160 --> 01:14:10.720
So it can't hurt you anymore.

1080
01:14:10.720 --> 01:14:12.440
What hurts you in the past can hurt you

1081
01:14:12.440 --> 01:14:13.720
if you go into business.

1082
01:14:13.720 --> 01:14:17.840
And then the third thing is that I want people to understand

1083
01:14:17.840 --> 01:14:19.920
how to operate from a place of rest.

1084
01:14:19.920 --> 01:14:22.720
But the reason I talk about business in my message

1085
01:14:22.720 --> 01:14:25.280
and I'm always talking about work, et cetera,

1086
01:14:25.280 --> 01:14:29.360
is because that's what people think

1087
01:14:29.360 --> 01:14:31.120
they're having a problem with.

1088
01:14:31.120 --> 01:14:33.760
So if they're looking over here and I'm saying,

1089
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:35.160
no, your problem is over here,

1090
01:14:35.160 --> 01:14:37.960
this is what you need to get your answer to this.

1091
01:14:37.960 --> 01:14:40.800
They can't see or hear me because I'm over here.

1092
01:14:40.800 --> 01:14:43.440
So I have to put myself where they are

1093
01:14:43.440 --> 01:14:46.200
so that they can finally hear,

1094
01:14:46.200 --> 01:14:47.760
oh, you're talking to me.

1095
01:14:48.600 --> 01:14:49.920
Because they're using the words of business or whatever.

1096
01:14:49.920 --> 01:14:51.920
So I have to start talking like that.

1097
01:14:51.920 --> 01:14:54.600
But then when they become my client,

1098
01:14:54.600 --> 01:14:57.280
they were like, okay, so let's work on your business.

1099
01:14:57.280 --> 01:14:58.640
We're starting from here.

1100
01:14:58.640 --> 01:14:59.840
And all of the sudden.

1101
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.240
and they kind of realize, Oh, my word. So this is what's wrong with my business. Like, yeah,

1102
01:15:06.240 --> 01:15:10.800
but I guess at the beginning, I had to tell you this so that you'd understand because it's all

1103
01:15:11.600 --> 01:15:15.360
the only language that they have, right? People don't know what you know,

1104
01:15:15.360 --> 01:15:20.480
most people do not understand have not made that connection. So say that as an encouragement.

1105
01:15:22.800 --> 01:15:28.240
It can tell you really listen to spirit because things like that only come because that the

1106
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:35.600
spirit has revealed the father to them. And, and so you've come to understand that your business,

1107
01:15:35.600 --> 01:15:40.480
that, that the unhealthy aspects of whatever it is you're struggling with are evidencing

1108
01:15:40.480 --> 01:15:45.120
themselves in their, in your business. That that's why I got burned out on business.

1109
01:15:46.080 --> 01:15:51.520
The problem was me and the issues I was struggling with. And one of the areas that

1110
01:15:51.520 --> 01:15:55.760
evidenced itself in was business because I didn't, I wasn't married and I didn't have children.

1111
01:15:55.760 --> 01:16:02.080
So all of my effort, energy, focus, and time, it went into a career. So if that's where I'm

1112
01:16:02.080 --> 01:16:06.480
putting all of my effort, energy, and time, that's where all of my problems are going to express

1113
01:16:06.480 --> 01:16:12.880
themselves. And before I knew that I would burn out on business, I was like, business is awful.

1114
01:16:12.880 --> 01:16:19.200
No, the problem wasn't business. It was me. So anyway, so no, you're absolutely right.

1115
01:16:19.200 --> 01:16:25.600
Yeah, that makes sense. And I keep thinking like, man, this is my type

1116
01:16:25.600 --> 01:16:30.640
of business coaching. Like, this is so like, I could sit and talk about what we've been talking

1117
01:16:30.640 --> 01:16:34.160
about for hours, but then like sitting and talking about like actual business is like,

1118
01:16:34.960 --> 01:16:39.760
puts me to sleep. That's why I'm like, is it okay if I just forget about my business

1119
01:16:40.400 --> 01:16:46.720
for now? Like, is that irresponsible of me to just not even go there? You know what I mean? Like,

1120
01:16:47.440 --> 01:16:56.640
uh-huh. I feel like I can't go there right now. Yeah. Well, then that, you know, that's fine.

1121
01:16:56.640 --> 01:17:02.240
It depends on what it is, not as to whether or not it's right. I mean, that's perfectly fine.

1122
01:17:02.240 --> 01:17:06.000
I mean, there's no, you don't have to worry that, oh, well, is there a right or wrong in this

1123
01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:14.320
situation? I'm saying that if, you know, it's interesting for you to think, okay, why do not

1124
01:17:15.120 --> 01:17:19.840
want to, well, I mean, I suppose it really doesn't matter that you have to necessarily understand. I

1125
01:17:19.840 --> 01:17:25.760
just like to understand these things, but it didn't matter as to what is for your sake thinking,

1126
01:17:25.760 --> 01:17:30.640
why do I not want to do it? Do I not want to do it because I'm burnt out or do I not want to do it

1127
01:17:30.640 --> 01:17:34.400
because I just don't have the energy to do it because I'm focusing on these other, but here's

1128
01:17:34.400 --> 01:17:39.520
the thing you buy and you are working on your business by focusing on the other. You can't do

1129
01:17:39.520 --> 01:17:46.320
anything healthy in your business until this is taken care of. So you don't have to worry about it.

1130
01:17:46.320 --> 01:17:52.960
It's not going to go anywhere. It's going to be fine. And I just highly recommend that you

1131
01:17:52.960 --> 01:17:59.520
don't villainize it like I did. You're going to have to overcome whatever it is that you vilify

1132
01:17:59.520 --> 01:18:03.600
about it. You're going to have to overcome that image if you create, start creating that image.

1133
01:18:03.600 --> 01:18:09.840
So I highly recommend that you, that, that you don't do that because that's what I did.

1134
01:18:09.840 --> 01:18:16.720
And I, I, oh my word, I just rebelled against the Lord for so long because I couldn't handle

1135
01:18:16.720 --> 01:18:23.120
business. I, the word made me mad. It was, it was that bad. People talk about starting a business

1136
01:18:23.120 --> 01:18:30.080
and I'm like, why would you want to do that? The other night, she's like, oh, I'm just like this

1137
01:18:30.080 --> 01:18:34.000
wild serial entrepreneur. And in my mind, I'm going, why?

1138
01:18:37.520 --> 01:18:43.680
And it's funny that I have been a turnaround business consultant for so long teaching people

1139
01:18:43.680 --> 01:18:50.000
how to do it. That is what I have done for a living. And I now still do it. And yet I'm like,

1140
01:18:50.000 --> 01:18:56.960
why would you want to start a business? I do not have the desire to be an entrepreneur.

1141
01:18:57.040 --> 01:19:01.840
That does not fascinate me. But the reason why I do this and the reason why I do like business,

1142
01:19:01.840 --> 01:19:08.320
there's this draw that the Lord has created in me towards it. Because in the spirit, I see what it

1143
01:19:08.320 --> 01:19:14.960
can be. But what, what burned part of what burned me out is that when I got there, that when I got

1144
01:19:14.960 --> 01:19:22.640
into it, that is not what it looked like. And I thought, this is ugly. This is awful. But the

1145
01:19:22.640 --> 01:19:29.360
Lord still draws me to it. And what he's shown me is, Ashley, I want to reveal to you and to

1146
01:19:29.360 --> 01:19:35.920
others that the way I created business to work is actually should operate totally differently.

1147
01:19:36.640 --> 01:19:40.960
So no wonder I was frustrated with this. And that's what I keep hearing when people say that

1148
01:19:40.960 --> 01:19:45.440
they have this desire to be an entrepreneur. Because all I can think of is this system.

1149
01:19:45.440 --> 01:19:50.640
But what fascinates me about business is I know what it can be. In fact, I don't fully know what

1150
01:19:50.640 --> 01:19:55.920
it can be. But it's like my spirit knows something that my soul can't quite see yet. It's like

1151
01:19:55.920 --> 01:20:00.000
seeing this big fog. And I'm like, okay, there's something there. And I know that

1152
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.880
And the more and more that God,

1153
01:20:02.880 --> 01:20:05.040
God will bring more and more substance out of it,

1154
01:20:05.040 --> 01:20:08.000
where I'll actually start to see eventual pictures

1155
01:20:08.000 --> 01:20:10.000
of what it could be.

1156
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:14.240
So now, understand that you're not abandoning your business.

1157
01:20:14.240 --> 01:20:16.840
By focusing on this, you're focusing on the health

1158
01:20:16.840 --> 01:20:19.680
of the life source that the business is coming out of.

1159
01:20:19.680 --> 01:20:22.760
And right now, it sounds like you feel like there's,

1160
01:20:22.760 --> 01:20:27.760
that you don't have to give what it needs.

1161
01:20:28.480 --> 01:20:31.760
Right, to make it unhealthy, yeah.

1162
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:32.600
Yeah.

1163
01:20:32.600 --> 01:20:35.680
Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying I wanna put away with it,

1164
01:20:35.680 --> 01:20:37.040
like forever.

1165
01:20:37.040 --> 01:20:38.360
I just feel like,

1166
01:20:40.840 --> 01:20:43.240
I feel like that is the least of my worries right now.

1167
01:20:43.240 --> 01:20:46.320
Cause I feel like I can't, I can't do both

1168
01:20:46.320 --> 01:20:49.440
because with my business, I take it very seriously.

1169
01:20:49.440 --> 01:20:51.120
Like it's all or nothing.

1170
01:20:51.120 --> 01:20:53.520
And I can't just kind of be there

1171
01:20:53.520 --> 01:20:55.320
because of the type of person that I am.

1172
01:20:55.320 --> 01:20:58.720
I have to feel connected to my audience, to my group.

1173
01:20:58.720 --> 01:21:01.600
I do a lot on Instagram and blogging and stuff.

1174
01:21:01.600 --> 01:21:03.200
And I have to feel that connection

1175
01:21:03.200 --> 01:21:05.880
or else it's just, there's nothing there.

1176
01:21:05.880 --> 01:21:07.920
And my audience can feel that.

1177
01:21:07.920 --> 01:21:09.360
I declare they can.

1178
01:21:09.360 --> 01:21:11.160
And so I'm like, if I am on there

1179
01:21:11.160 --> 01:21:14.760
and trying to make everything all happy and whatever,

1180
01:21:14.760 --> 01:21:17.600
like it's gonna hurt me more than anything

1181
01:21:17.600 --> 01:21:20.120
cause they know that something's going on.

1182
01:21:20.120 --> 01:21:21.680
I mean, it always happens.

1183
01:21:21.720 --> 01:21:26.600
Like when I am not, when I don't feel that inspiration

1184
01:21:26.600 --> 01:21:31.320
and I don't feel that life, it just, it goes so horrible.

1185
01:21:31.320 --> 01:21:33.920
And I'm like, I don't even, I can't even right now

1186
01:21:33.920 --> 01:21:37.120
try and create things when there's like,

1187
01:21:37.120 --> 01:21:40.240
everything is like literally being sucked out of me.

1188
01:21:40.240 --> 01:21:41.080
Yes.

1189
01:21:41.080 --> 01:21:41.920
Yeah.

1190
01:21:41.920 --> 01:21:44.200
Cause your business needs your spirit

1191
01:21:44.200 --> 01:21:49.200
and you don't know in some ways who your spirit is

1192
01:21:49.840 --> 01:21:53.400
and you don't know how to let it effortlessly flow.

1193
01:21:53.400 --> 01:21:56.480
So you don't even have what it is that your business.

1194
01:21:56.480 --> 01:21:57.320
Right.

1195
01:21:57.320 --> 01:21:59.120
I don't know what I need to give it.

1196
01:21:59.120 --> 01:21:59.960
Yeah.

1197
01:21:59.960 --> 01:22:02.520
And once you discover your spirit

1198
01:22:02.520 --> 01:22:06.240
and the way that God effortlessly flows out of you,

1199
01:22:06.240 --> 01:22:08.520
your business becomes effortless.

1200
01:22:09.800 --> 01:22:13.040
Then you, then you rest, you know, you're resting from work

1201
01:22:13.040 --> 01:22:14.240
which is what we're learning to do now.

1202
01:22:14.240 --> 01:22:17.040
We're resting from work so that we can work from rest.

1203
01:22:17.880 --> 01:22:21.360
It's when everything comes effortlessly out of your spirit.

1204
01:22:21.360 --> 01:22:22.880
That is what your business is.

1205
01:22:22.880 --> 01:22:26.280
Your business is the way that your spirit flows

1206
01:22:26.280 --> 01:22:30.040
into the earth, manifesting heaven into earth

1207
01:22:30.040 --> 01:22:33.840
and impacting the world in a particular way.

1208
01:22:33.840 --> 01:22:37.640
So when our spirits flow, manifesting heaven into earth,

1209
01:22:37.640 --> 01:22:39.040
it can do it in different ways.

1210
01:22:39.040 --> 01:22:40.360
It can do it in finances.

1211
01:22:40.360 --> 01:22:41.600
It can do it in relationships.

1212
01:22:41.600 --> 01:22:43.000
It can do it in business.

1213
01:22:43.000 --> 01:22:44.560
And so when it comes through business,

1214
01:22:45.160 --> 01:22:46.800
business, interestingly,

1215
01:22:46.800 --> 01:22:48.880
and this is something that I need to tell the group,

1216
01:22:48.880 --> 01:22:51.960
is business is not about money.

1217
01:22:51.960 --> 01:22:54.840
Business is about the movement of money.

1218
01:22:54.840 --> 01:22:58.800
And it's all about money moving from one place to another.

1219
01:22:58.800 --> 01:23:00.440
That is the purpose of business,

1220
01:23:00.440 --> 01:23:05.440
is to create flow of currency in some form.

1221
01:23:06.080 --> 01:23:07.760
And it doesn't even have to be money,

1222
01:23:07.760 --> 01:23:09.840
but it needs to be an exchange of good

1223
01:23:09.840 --> 01:23:11.520
and services between people.

1224
01:23:11.520 --> 01:23:13.960
That's the point of the business model

1225
01:23:13.960 --> 01:23:18.600
is to create flow in that particular area of life,

1226
01:23:19.480 --> 01:23:21.560
goods and services, currency, whatever.

1227
01:23:21.560 --> 01:23:25.920
And so, but flow, in other words,

1228
01:23:25.920 --> 01:23:29.520
any part of creation needs some aspect

1229
01:23:29.520 --> 01:23:32.920
of the spirit of God, which you have flowing through you,

1230
01:23:32.920 --> 01:23:35.000
in order to give it the power

1231
01:23:35.000 --> 01:23:36.880
that it needs to actually move.

1232
01:23:37.960 --> 01:23:40.640
And if you can't give it the power that it needs

1233
01:23:40.640 --> 01:23:43.840
to make the money flow, or the goods or services,

1234
01:23:44.680 --> 01:23:47.240
well, then there's, the business isn't doing anything.

1235
01:23:47.240 --> 01:23:49.520
And it's just dead and it's all of,

1236
01:23:49.520 --> 01:23:52.200
and you're trying to drum up this non-life source

1237
01:23:52.200 --> 01:23:54.880
out of your own sheer willpower,

1238
01:23:54.880 --> 01:23:56.920
get it to move just a little bit.

1239
01:23:56.920 --> 01:23:59.840
And that's exhausting, there's no point in it.

1240
01:23:59.840 --> 01:24:02.360
Your business brings life into the world,

1241
01:24:02.360 --> 01:24:05.880
if you're giving it life, which comes through the spirit

1242
01:24:05.880 --> 01:24:07.920
that's flowing through you from God.

1243
01:24:07.920 --> 01:24:09.320
So you're out, right.

1244
01:24:09.320 --> 01:24:11.520
Just don't, yeah, so don't think

1245
01:24:11.520 --> 01:24:15.200
that you are abandoning your business by focusing on this.

1246
01:24:15.200 --> 01:24:20.040
No, you are at the actual root of the problem.

1247
01:24:20.040 --> 01:24:22.400
In other words, you are actually at the root

1248
01:24:22.400 --> 01:24:24.240
of what it is your business needs.

1249
01:24:25.360 --> 01:24:28.360
So it is working on business, and it's focusing,

1250
01:24:28.360 --> 01:24:30.560
in a way, it's focusing completely on it.

1251
01:24:31.600 --> 01:24:33.200
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.

1252
01:24:33.200 --> 01:24:34.240
Yeah.

1253
01:24:34.240 --> 01:24:36.400
Yeah, I'm just wondering how in the world

1254
01:24:36.400 --> 01:24:39.960
do you talk to clients that aren't Christians?

1255
01:24:39.960 --> 01:24:42.840
Do you have a lot of clients that are different faiths?

1256
01:24:43.960 --> 01:24:46.240
I don't have a lot, I'm trying to think.

1257
01:24:47.320 --> 01:24:49.760
Currently, no, I don't have a lot.

1258
01:24:49.760 --> 01:24:51.800
Most of them are Christians, though.

1259
01:24:51.800 --> 01:24:53.600
It makes it easier.

1260
01:24:53.600 --> 01:24:54.680
It makes it a lot easier.

1261
01:24:54.680 --> 01:24:57.280
And they're attracted to my message.

1262
01:24:57.280 --> 01:25:00.040
But I do have some people that I've worked with.

1263
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:08.000
Um, and, uh, and, and so, like I said, one of them is a Muslim, another, I have another

1264
01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:09.000
one who's a Mormon.

1265
01:25:09.000 --> 01:25:16.400
And so the Mormon though, I can actually talk to him about all of these things, but he's,

1266
01:25:16.400 --> 01:25:19.160
he's still, there are certain things that he believes that I don't.

1267
01:25:19.160 --> 01:25:22.880
So that really doesn't come into play that the Muslim though is very interesting to talk

1268
01:25:22.880 --> 01:25:23.880
to.

1269
01:25:23.880 --> 01:25:29.880
But remember that we're all children of God, even though we're not all sons of God.

1270
01:25:29.880 --> 01:25:33.200
You know, and the fact that we're not all, we don't all believe that Jesus Christ died

1271
01:25:33.200 --> 01:25:34.200
and all of that.

1272
01:25:34.200 --> 01:25:37.400
We were all born from God, God created all of us.

1273
01:25:37.400 --> 01:25:40.000
So we all have that in common.

1274
01:25:40.000 --> 01:25:42.200
He loves all of us all the same.

1275
01:25:42.200 --> 01:25:49.440
Um, so I can talk from the perspective that even if, even if I had an atheist who didn't

1276
01:25:49.440 --> 01:25:54.320
believe in God, I can talk to people and this is how we have relationships with anybody,

1277
01:25:54.320 --> 01:25:55.520
whether or not they're clients.

1278
01:25:55.520 --> 01:26:02.480
We talk to people who, according to who we see in the spirit that they actually are,

1279
01:26:02.480 --> 01:26:06.920
they may see themselves down here as something different and they might present themselves

1280
01:26:06.920 --> 01:26:07.920
to me like this.

1281
01:26:07.920 --> 01:26:13.320
If I talk to them like this, their spirit over time begins to recognize that this is

1282
01:26:13.320 --> 01:26:14.560
who they are.

1283
01:26:14.560 --> 01:26:20.880
It's almost like they tell me that their name is Jane and I keep calling them Sally.

1284
01:26:20.880 --> 01:26:26.960
And, um, and so eventually they realize, you know, I'd forgotten my name actually is

1285
01:26:26.960 --> 01:26:27.960
Sally.

1286
01:26:27.960 --> 01:26:28.960
That sounds right.

1287
01:26:28.960 --> 01:26:29.960
I don't know how I knew that.

1288
01:26:29.960 --> 01:26:34.240
So it's almost like you awaken something in them that they didn't realize was there.

1289
01:26:34.240 --> 01:26:35.240
Yes.

1290
01:26:35.240 --> 01:26:36.240
Yes.

1291
01:26:36.240 --> 01:26:38.840
So I love them to God.

1292
01:26:38.840 --> 01:26:40.080
I don't have to fix them.

1293
01:26:40.080 --> 01:26:41.880
I don't have to convince them.

1294
01:26:41.880 --> 01:26:42.880
That's that old paradigm.

1295
01:26:42.880 --> 01:26:46.560
That's an old system where we had to commit somebody and we had to preach and we had to

1296
01:26:46.560 --> 01:26:52.560
evangelize, but like shoving things down your throat, Jesus, when he came into it,

1297
01:26:52.560 --> 01:26:53.560
he just loved.

1298
01:26:53.560 --> 01:26:54.560
Yes.

1299
01:26:54.560 --> 01:26:57.360
He talked in any spoken, whatever, but he didn't condemn when he do it.

1300
01:26:57.360 --> 01:27:00.920
And when he did it back to the adulterous, you didn't even realize it.

1301
01:27:00.920 --> 01:27:06.360
He didn't even reveal who he was, that she was brought to him by all the Jews, not maybe

1302
01:27:06.360 --> 01:27:07.360
particularly the Pharisees.

1303
01:27:07.360 --> 01:27:13.640
I don't remember brought to him and, uh, and, and first he's like, look, we even caught

1304
01:27:13.640 --> 01:27:14.640
her in the act.

1305
01:27:15.240 --> 01:27:20.440
So Jesus said, okay, well, you know, what, whoever he gets down there and writes in the

1306
01:27:20.440 --> 01:27:23.720
dirt and he says, well, whichever one of you, you know, that has not sinned, you get to

1307
01:27:23.720 --> 01:27:24.720
cast the first stone.

1308
01:27:24.720 --> 01:27:27.120
They all eventually walked away.

1309
01:27:27.120 --> 01:27:28.440
And so the adulterous is sitting there.

1310
01:27:28.440 --> 01:27:32.400
So he looks up and he asked her, well, where are all your accusers?

1311
01:27:32.400 --> 01:27:37.000
In other words, the people who are condemning you, you found out what it is that you did.

1312
01:27:37.000 --> 01:27:39.160
You've declared over your identity.

1313
01:27:39.160 --> 01:27:41.000
They declared that this is who you are.

1314
01:27:41.000 --> 01:27:44.920
They made a declaration that they determined this is your identity and they're speaking

1315
01:27:44.920 --> 01:27:45.920
that.

1316
01:27:45.920 --> 01:27:46.920
And he said, where are they?

1317
01:27:46.920 --> 01:27:47.920
She said, well, they're not here.

1318
01:27:47.920 --> 01:27:48.920
And he said, I don't condemn you either.

1319
01:27:48.920 --> 01:27:53.360
I go and send no more.

1320
01:27:53.360 --> 01:27:56.640
He didn't ask her to repent.

1321
01:27:56.640 --> 01:27:59.120
He didn't ask her to feel sorry or not repent.

1322
01:27:59.120 --> 01:28:02.800
He did ask her to repent because repent just means to not do it anymore.

1323
01:28:02.800 --> 01:28:05.920
What I meant was he didn't ask for her remorse.

1324
01:28:05.920 --> 01:28:07.840
He didn't ask her to feel sorry.

1325
01:28:07.840 --> 01:28:10.680
He didn't tell her, by the way, I'm the son of God.

1326
01:28:11.360 --> 01:28:13.800
He didn't tell her, by the way, this is, this is the kingdom of God and I need to reveal

1327
01:28:13.800 --> 01:28:14.800
it to you.

1328
01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:16.640
He's the son of God.

1329
01:28:16.640 --> 01:28:21.720
He could, that was his moment to reveal to somebody, hey look, for, because wouldn't

1330
01:28:21.720 --> 01:28:25.880
we think, oh my goodness, Lord, but if you let her go without telling her, isn't your

1331
01:28:25.880 --> 01:28:28.520
blood, isn't her blood on your hand?

1332
01:28:28.520 --> 01:28:31.200
We just think, oh my word, we have to fix people.

1333
01:28:31.200 --> 01:28:32.200
We have to reveal it.

1334
01:28:32.200 --> 01:28:33.200
We have to say it.

1335
01:28:33.200 --> 01:28:36.640
We have to say the name Jesus so that they'll hear him and does it.

1336
01:28:36.640 --> 01:28:45.000
And God's like, no, my spirit will draw, I draw people to me by my spirit.

1337
01:28:45.000 --> 01:28:47.160
We don't have to make it happen.

1338
01:28:47.160 --> 01:28:52.400
Even the son of God, when he was on the earth, he didn't even tell her who he was, let alone

1339
01:28:52.400 --> 01:28:55.440
the fact that, by the way, you need to know that there's this thing called the kingdom

1340
01:28:55.440 --> 01:28:56.440
of God.

1341
01:28:56.440 --> 01:28:57.440
Do you believe in God?

1342
01:28:57.440 --> 01:29:00.920
And he didn't ask any of that.

1343
01:29:00.920 --> 01:29:03.040
All I just, he didn't even ask her to feel sorry.

1344
01:29:03.360 --> 01:29:09.080
He didn't ask her to be remorseful and like put on sackcloth and ashes.

1345
01:29:09.080 --> 01:29:12.360
He just said, don't do it anymore.

1346
01:29:12.360 --> 01:29:13.360
And that was enough.

1347
01:29:13.360 --> 01:29:19.200
And if the son of God, if that is all that he decided was enough to say, why on earth

1348
01:29:19.200 --> 01:29:24.120
do we think that we are called to carry a different burden?

1349
01:29:24.120 --> 01:29:26.680
That's exhausting.

1350
01:29:26.680 --> 01:29:33.160
So when I talk to my Muslim friend, she keeps calling him Allah.

1351
01:29:33.160 --> 01:29:39.880
I keep calling him God and we have a conversation.

1352
01:29:39.880 --> 01:29:40.880
I don't bring up Jesus.

1353
01:29:40.880 --> 01:29:47.200
We talk about God and we talk about how loving he is and how he means this and how he means

1354
01:29:47.200 --> 01:29:48.200
this.

1355
01:29:48.200 --> 01:29:49.200
And she says, oh, you know what?

1356
01:29:49.200 --> 01:29:54.640
God, you know, God doesn't intend for women to be like, uh, to, to be oppressed.

1357
01:29:54.640 --> 01:29:58.320
God did not intend women to be like this and God, you know, God loves them just as

1358
01:29:58.320 --> 01:30:00.000
much as he loves men and whatever.

1359
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.440
She's covered in everything.

1360
01:30:02.440 --> 01:30:05.720
And she's like, in fact, I can tell you all this

1361
01:30:05.720 --> 01:30:07.960
because she's mentioned on Facebook,

1362
01:30:07.960 --> 01:30:11.280
on my Facebook wall, who she is, that I helped her.

1363
01:30:11.280 --> 01:30:15.520
And that she's been, in fact, she has a,

1364
01:30:15.520 --> 01:30:18.480
not a ministry, but she has a consulting business

1365
01:30:18.480 --> 01:30:21.200
where she helps women, Muslim women

1366
01:30:21.200 --> 01:30:23.560
who are in abusive situations,

1367
01:30:23.560 --> 01:30:25.840
understand who it is that they are,

1368
01:30:25.840 --> 01:30:28.760
and then to get out of those abusive situations.

1369
01:30:28.760 --> 01:30:30.800
Like I said, she's covered.

1370
01:30:30.800 --> 01:30:34.000
She wears these, you know, long dresses.

1371
01:30:34.000 --> 01:30:37.440
It's not like she's like some new trendy Muslim.

1372
01:30:37.440 --> 01:30:40.120
No, she's very orthodox.

1373
01:30:40.120 --> 01:30:42.680
But she believed God has a hold of her spirit

1374
01:30:42.680 --> 01:30:43.520
and a hold of her heart

1375
01:30:43.520 --> 01:30:46.080
where he's revealed to her, I am love.

1376
01:30:47.120 --> 01:30:49.800
So in his timing, he can reveal to her

1377
01:30:49.800 --> 01:30:51.920
that the way that she can connect with him

1378
01:30:51.920 --> 01:30:55.320
and become one with him is through Jesus.

1379
01:30:56.320 --> 01:31:01.320
But in the meantime, I enjoy her as my sister

1380
01:31:03.360 --> 01:31:06.000
of someone who was created by God.

1381
01:31:07.920 --> 01:31:10.640
My sister, and I acknowledge that,

1382
01:31:10.640 --> 01:31:14.360
and I call her out in her spirit response to it.

1383
01:31:14.360 --> 01:31:17.440
She has told me, Ashley, I've talked to so many people,

1384
01:31:17.440 --> 01:31:18.440
so many business people.

1385
01:31:18.440 --> 01:31:19.280
In fact, I don't know,

1386
01:31:19.280 --> 01:31:21.080
but maybe she's talked to other Christians too.

1387
01:31:21.080 --> 01:31:23.320
And she said, of all people,

1388
01:31:23.360 --> 01:31:25.760
she said, you're the one that I want to talk to.

1389
01:31:25.760 --> 01:31:26.600
Wow.

1390
01:31:28.000 --> 01:31:28.840
I accept her.

1391
01:31:28.840 --> 01:31:30.360
I'm like, you're fine the way you are.

1392
01:31:30.360 --> 01:31:33.720
I understand you have one religion and I believe another.

1393
01:31:33.720 --> 01:31:35.640
And I said, isn't it fun?

1394
01:31:35.640 --> 01:31:37.160
I said, don't you and I have fun

1395
01:31:37.160 --> 01:31:39.400
just understanding that we believe totally differently.

1396
01:31:39.400 --> 01:31:40.520
I mean, not totally differently,

1397
01:31:40.520 --> 01:31:42.480
but that we have different religions,

1398
01:31:42.480 --> 01:31:44.240
but that we can really love and enjoy each other.

1399
01:31:44.240 --> 01:31:45.880
And she said, I love it.

1400
01:31:45.880 --> 01:31:46.720
Wow.

1401
01:31:47.640 --> 01:31:48.480
That's awesome.

1402
01:31:48.480 --> 01:31:49.720
Yeah.

1403
01:31:49.720 --> 01:31:51.880
She's the Lord's, I'm not,

1404
01:31:51.920 --> 01:31:54.480
he doesn't hold me responsible for her.

1405
01:31:54.480 --> 01:31:57.120
And anyway, so that's how I do it.

1406
01:31:57.120 --> 01:32:00.880
I just talk from the perspective of the truths of God,

1407
01:32:00.880 --> 01:32:04.640
not having to bring the whole Jesus in line with Christ.

1408
01:32:04.640 --> 01:32:08.640
And I talk about what it is that she knows she,

1409
01:32:08.640 --> 01:32:10.480
which is universal love.

1410
01:32:10.480 --> 01:32:11.920
Love is the universal language.

1411
01:32:11.920 --> 01:32:14.320
Talk about love, talk about God's love for us,

1412
01:32:14.320 --> 01:32:17.240
how other people, there's value in other people.

1413
01:32:17.240 --> 01:32:19.520
We talk about those kinds of things.

1414
01:32:19.880 --> 01:32:24.120
All of those are principles of the same God that we serve,

1415
01:32:24.120 --> 01:32:25.520
speaking life into her.

1416
01:32:26.800 --> 01:32:27.640
That's really fascinating.

1417
01:32:27.640 --> 01:32:31.400
So you call her out basically from who God says she is

1418
01:32:31.400 --> 01:32:33.320
and call her spirit out.

1419
01:32:33.320 --> 01:32:34.640
That's really interesting.

1420
01:32:34.640 --> 01:32:35.560
Yes.

1421
01:32:35.560 --> 01:32:36.400
Yeah.

1422
01:32:36.400 --> 01:32:38.680
In fact, that's what we'll be talking about later.

1423
01:32:38.680 --> 01:32:43.320
Like much more specifically when we start talking about

1424
01:32:43.320 --> 01:32:46.520
how to interact with clients and customers

1425
01:32:46.520 --> 01:32:47.600
and all of that.

1426
01:32:47.600 --> 01:32:49.960
And of course we can apply it in every of our life,

1427
01:32:49.960 --> 01:32:51.640
talking to spouses, talking to children,

1428
01:32:51.640 --> 01:32:53.200
talking to parents, whatever.

1429
01:32:53.200 --> 01:32:56.320
But because it's a group talking about business,

1430
01:32:56.320 --> 01:32:59.320
we can talk very specifically about how to talk like that

1431
01:33:03.680 --> 01:33:07.760
to clients, to customers, potential customers,

1432
01:33:07.760 --> 01:33:11.200
whoever, team members, like say for instance,

1433
01:33:11.200 --> 01:33:12.920
your upline or your downline,

1434
01:33:13.840 --> 01:33:18.600
and then how people respond to that,

1435
01:33:18.600 --> 01:33:21.440
how they respond to that type of leadership

1436
01:33:21.440 --> 01:33:24.160
of talking to them here

1437
01:33:24.160 --> 01:33:26.280
when they're presenting themselves to you

1438
01:33:26.280 --> 01:33:27.560
like they're down here.

1439
01:33:28.480 --> 01:33:31.840
And it's an effortless way of leading other people

1440
01:33:31.840 --> 01:33:34.560
because you don't have to work to pull them up.

1441
01:33:34.560 --> 01:33:36.320
You just talk to them up here.

1442
01:33:36.320 --> 01:33:39.200
They will naturally start to hear themselves

1443
01:33:39.200 --> 01:33:41.000
because all it is is they're remembering

1444
01:33:41.040 --> 01:33:42.720
who it is that they are.

1445
01:33:43.840 --> 01:33:45.200
And they've just never had anybody

1446
01:33:45.200 --> 01:33:46.840
call them by their real name.

1447
01:33:46.840 --> 01:33:48.880
But over time, God prompts their spirit

1448
01:33:48.880 --> 01:33:50.280
and like, that is my name.

1449
01:33:50.280 --> 01:33:53.280
I didn't remember that that was my name.

1450
01:33:53.280 --> 01:33:55.200
I didn't even know what to call myself.

1451
01:33:55.200 --> 01:33:57.920
I just knew that this where I am now

1452
01:33:57.920 --> 01:33:59.040
just couldn't be all that there was.

1453
01:33:59.040 --> 01:34:01.320
And I was so disappointed this is all I could ever find.

1454
01:34:01.320 --> 01:34:02.920
Finally, the first person in their life

1455
01:34:02.920 --> 01:34:05.200
is telling them, is always talking to them up here

1456
01:34:05.200 --> 01:34:07.080
and refusing to talk to them down here,

1457
01:34:07.080 --> 01:34:07.920
always talking to them.

1458
01:34:07.920 --> 01:34:09.160
They will rise up there

1459
01:34:09.160 --> 01:34:11.200
because you're agreeing with God

1460
01:34:11.200 --> 01:34:15.040
that this is who they are in their spirit already.

1461
01:34:15.040 --> 01:34:17.120
And so God's already declared it.

1462
01:34:17.120 --> 01:34:18.920
And then they'll rise according to what's already,

1463
01:34:18.920 --> 01:34:21.000
God's already declared that they're up here.

1464
01:34:21.000 --> 01:34:22.880
So we're repeating God's words back to them

1465
01:34:22.880 --> 01:34:24.680
and we're speaking it into the earth,

1466
01:34:24.680 --> 01:34:27.720
which again is manifesting heaven into earth.

1467
01:34:27.720 --> 01:34:31.400
And it's, they're gonna respond to it.

1468
01:34:31.400 --> 01:34:36.080
And it's, so it makes leadership less effortless.

1469
01:34:36.120 --> 01:34:41.120
I mean, less effortless, less striving to like bolster,

1470
01:34:41.440 --> 01:34:42.600
support our people.

1471
01:34:42.600 --> 01:34:43.520
That's awesome.

1472
01:34:43.520 --> 01:34:44.360
Right.

1473
01:34:45.440 --> 01:34:46.280
Yeah.

1474
01:34:46.280 --> 01:34:47.960
It's a lot easier.

1475
01:34:47.960 --> 01:34:48.800
Wow.

1476
01:34:48.800 --> 01:34:50.360
That makes everything make sense.

1477
01:34:53.240 --> 01:34:55.600
Everything can rest.

1478
01:34:55.600 --> 01:34:56.440
Yeah.

1479
01:34:56.440 --> 01:34:57.920
That's crazy though.

1480
01:34:57.920 --> 01:34:58.760
It's amazing though.

1481
01:34:58.760 --> 01:35:00.080
Like when you start thinking about

1482
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.160
The old, like the system that I was functioning for

1483
01:35:03.160 --> 01:35:06.600
or functioning in, it's so me-centric.

1484
01:35:06.600 --> 01:35:07.440
Yes.

1485
01:35:07.440 --> 01:35:10.560
Or so centric on my actions

1486
01:35:10.560 --> 01:35:13.200
and everything revolves around what I do

1487
01:35:13.200 --> 01:35:15.800
that's gonna tip the scale in the wrong way, you know?

1488
01:35:15.800 --> 01:35:20.800
But then when you can actually focus on God

1489
01:35:21.640 --> 01:35:23.080
and just kind of forget about yourself,

1490
01:35:23.080 --> 01:35:25.800
everything seems to kind of make sense.

1491
01:35:25.800 --> 01:35:28.360
Yes, everything operates

1492
01:35:28.360 --> 01:35:31.480
because we're seated in the heavenly places in Christ,

1493
01:35:31.480 --> 01:35:33.240
meaning that there's nothing left.

1494
01:35:34.960 --> 01:35:36.400
Yeah.

1495
01:35:36.400 --> 01:35:38.160
If everything's from a place of rest

1496
01:35:38.160 --> 01:35:41.320
and God will naturally produce

1497
01:35:41.320 --> 01:35:43.680
everything we thought we were abandoned

1498
01:35:43.680 --> 01:35:46.040
to try to produce on our own.

1499
01:35:46.040 --> 01:35:47.760
God's like, no, I produce it.

1500
01:35:48.760 --> 01:35:50.520
I provide the increase

1501
01:35:50.520 --> 01:35:53.520
and then I raise you into maturity of how to govern it.

1502
01:35:54.960 --> 01:35:58.320
Anyway, you know, remember the prodigal son's father?

1503
01:35:58.440 --> 01:36:00.120
The one who owned everything.

1504
01:36:00.120 --> 01:36:01.400
The older son, he told him,

1505
01:36:01.400 --> 01:36:04.840
look, all that I have has always been yours.

1506
01:36:04.840 --> 01:36:06.400
You know, have it whenever you want.

1507
01:36:06.400 --> 01:36:08.000
I'm providing you the increase.

1508
01:36:08.000 --> 01:36:09.280
You don't have to work for it.

1509
01:36:09.280 --> 01:36:11.960
You just are my son, so you get to benefit from it.

1510
01:36:12.960 --> 01:36:16.160
And he said, and I thought we were co-laboring together.

1511
01:36:16.160 --> 01:36:20.000
He said, but apparently you thought you were working for it.

1512
01:36:22.440 --> 01:36:24.520
After you'd worked for it,

1513
01:36:24.520 --> 01:36:26.640
you wouldn't give yourself a go.

1514
01:36:26.640 --> 01:36:28.520
You wouldn't take a row.

1515
01:36:28.520 --> 01:36:31.720
You just, you know, you just kept working.

1516
01:36:31.720 --> 01:36:34.480
And so anyway, God provides the increase

1517
01:36:34.480 --> 01:36:37.760
and then he teaches us how to govern it.

1518
01:36:37.760 --> 01:36:40.080
And governing it isn't from strife.

1519
01:36:40.080 --> 01:36:43.000
It's governing it as in the way that he does.

1520
01:36:43.000 --> 01:36:43.840
He rules the world.

1521
01:36:43.840 --> 01:36:46.160
He reigns as a king and he's teaching us

1522
01:36:46.160 --> 01:36:49.200
we're the kings that he's king of.

1523
01:36:49.200 --> 01:36:50.920
He's just got a rule.

1524
01:36:50.920 --> 01:36:53.440
It's not striving.

1525
01:36:53.480 --> 01:36:55.360
So, it's awesome.

1526
01:36:55.360 --> 01:36:57.760
We are not out of what we do.

1527
01:37:01.080 --> 01:37:01.920
It's really good.

1528
01:37:07.120 --> 01:37:08.120
Well, I think, I mean,

1529
01:37:08.120 --> 01:37:10.920
I don't think I have any more questions.

1530
01:37:10.920 --> 01:37:12.400
I mean, I feel like I've,

1531
01:37:14.160 --> 01:37:17.800
I feel like I'm up to the brim of what I can take in.

1532
01:37:17.800 --> 01:37:18.840
You know, you eat too much

1533
01:37:18.840 --> 01:37:19.880
and you're like, I've got to stop.

1534
01:37:19.880 --> 01:37:20.720
I'm full.

1535
01:37:21.720 --> 01:37:22.560
I do.

1536
01:37:22.560 --> 01:37:24.080
I've got to let this digest.

1537
01:37:25.720 --> 01:37:26.680
It was so good.

1538
01:37:26.680 --> 01:37:27.760
Yeah, and,

1539
01:37:33.000 --> 01:37:34.000
yeah, anyway.

1540
01:37:34.000 --> 01:37:35.320
Yeah, I'm good.

1541
01:37:35.320 --> 01:37:37.200
I was thinking, do I have anything else?

1542
01:37:37.200 --> 01:37:38.120
No?

1543
01:37:38.120 --> 01:37:39.800
No, if you have anything else, I mean, feel free.

1544
01:37:39.800 --> 01:37:42.720
I could just talk about this for hours and hours.

1545
01:37:44.120 --> 01:37:47.000
I was just thinking, if you would like,

1546
01:37:47.000 --> 01:37:48.440
I don't know if you know,

1547
01:37:48.480 --> 01:37:52.200
but I record all of my client sessions for myself.

1548
01:37:52.200 --> 01:37:53.120
I do.

1549
01:37:53.120 --> 01:37:55.840
And I've only done this to one other client,

1550
01:37:55.840 --> 01:37:58.160
but I think that I'd like to offer it to this as well.

1551
01:37:58.160 --> 01:38:00.000
And so I was trying to make a split minute decision.

1552
01:38:00.000 --> 01:38:01.360
I'm like, do I want to do that?

1553
01:38:01.360 --> 01:38:03.680
And that is to offer this as well,

1554
01:38:03.680 --> 01:38:08.040
because for me, I find it helpful if I re-watch things,

1555
01:38:08.960 --> 01:38:10.720
because kind of like, you know,

1556
01:38:10.720 --> 01:38:12.840
posting all those lives on Facebook,

1557
01:38:12.840 --> 01:38:15.800
people have the opportunity to go back and re-watch them.

1558
01:38:15.840 --> 01:38:17.840
So if you would like,

1559
01:38:17.840 --> 01:38:19.280
and it also frees people up

1560
01:38:19.280 --> 01:38:21.080
to not constantly have to take notes,

1561
01:38:21.080 --> 01:38:23.200
so that they can actually get more out of the sessions,

1562
01:38:23.200 --> 01:38:25.720
because there's just life interaction.

1563
01:38:25.720 --> 01:38:26.640
So if you would like,

1564
01:38:26.640 --> 01:38:30.160
I can actually give you our recordings

1565
01:38:30.160 --> 01:38:32.520
that we make of our private sessions.

1566
01:38:32.520 --> 01:38:34.880
Would that be beneficial or useful?

1567
01:38:34.880 --> 01:38:36.600
Yeah, I would love that.

1568
01:38:36.600 --> 01:38:39.960
Yeah, I feel like that would definitely help.

1569
01:38:39.960 --> 01:38:40.800
Oh, good.

1570
01:38:40.800 --> 01:38:42.160
Because I know like, when you're live,

1571
01:38:42.160 --> 01:38:44.720
you can only hear certain things.

1572
01:38:44.720 --> 01:38:47.000
You can only take in so much.

1573
01:38:47.000 --> 01:38:48.880
And I feel like that would be very beneficial

1574
01:38:48.880 --> 01:38:50.040
for me to be able to go back

1575
01:38:50.040 --> 01:38:52.600
and see what else I get out of it.

1576
01:38:52.600 --> 01:38:53.440
Good, yeah.

1577
01:38:53.440 --> 01:38:54.680
Especially if you go through a time

1578
01:38:54.680 --> 01:38:55.800
where you get discouraged

1579
01:38:55.800 --> 01:38:57.360
and you're trying to remember.

1580
01:38:57.360 --> 01:38:58.200
You can also say,

1581
01:38:58.200 --> 01:39:00.240
could you tell me a few days like this?

1582
01:39:00.240 --> 01:39:03.520
Why don't you tell me a few days like this?

1583
01:39:03.520 --> 01:39:05.480
And again, also for me, I'll watch something,

1584
01:39:05.480 --> 01:39:08.280
and sometimes I think, oh, I understand it.

1585
01:39:08.280 --> 01:39:11.200
And then I give myself a few weeks or a few months,

1586
01:39:11.200 --> 01:39:12.120
and I re-watch it,

1587
01:39:12.120 --> 01:39:14.360
and all of a sudden new things come to the surface.

1588
01:39:15.040 --> 01:39:17.320
It's like reading a Bible, layer upon layer.

1589
01:39:17.320 --> 01:39:19.160
It's like, okay, so once I got a foundation,

1590
01:39:19.160 --> 01:39:20.920
then I re-watched the same thing,

1591
01:39:20.920 --> 01:39:23.280
and all of a sudden more comes to understanding.

1592
01:39:23.280 --> 01:39:25.520
Like, oh my word, I didn't realize.

1593
01:39:25.520 --> 01:39:26.920
I thought that I maxed it out.

1594
01:39:26.920 --> 01:39:28.600
I thought that I understood everything

1595
01:39:28.600 --> 01:39:29.720
and everything's good.

1596
01:39:29.720 --> 01:39:32.520
But as you actually make what you understood

1597
01:39:32.520 --> 01:39:34.200
reality in your life,

1598
01:39:34.200 --> 01:39:35.400
then if you add in,

1599
01:39:35.400 --> 01:39:39.880
then if you re-watch it through a new paradigm,

1600
01:39:41.000 --> 01:39:42.520
you understand more.

1601
01:39:42.560 --> 01:39:46.440
And now you've got more than that to like give back.

1602
01:39:46.440 --> 01:39:48.000
Do you have a Dropbox?

1603
01:39:48.000 --> 01:39:49.280
Because what I can do is I can put the,

1604
01:39:49.280 --> 01:39:51.560
or Google Drive.

1605
01:39:51.560 --> 01:39:54.560
I have, let me ask Josh.

1606
01:39:55.480 --> 01:39:58.560
Do I have Google Drive or Dropbox?

1607
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.000
Okay, I have Google Drive.

1608
01:40:03.000 --> 01:40:15.000
Yeah, put it on Google Drive and if what you will do is if you'll let me know when you have, when you've moved it over to your, your drive because it you know it'll appear in the shared folder.

1609
01:40:15.000 --> 01:40:20.000
Yeah, I'll have to ask you.

1610
01:40:20.000 --> 01:40:29.000
You, it's not it's not downloading it but in other words, will allow me to remove it, that would be beneficial for me.

1611
01:40:29.000 --> 01:40:34.000
Once you transfer the file over I give you access to the file then transfer it over to your own.

1612
01:40:34.000 --> 01:40:46.000
Because I only have so much room on my drive right are pretty large. So, a lot of space to remove it so that my next client I can, you know, the next person right.

1613
01:40:46.000 --> 01:40:50.000
They can do it.

1614
01:40:50.000 --> 01:40:53.000
Am I my drive because we're not in that room.

1615
01:40:53.000 --> 01:40:58.000
So do you want me to let you know then or will you be able to see when it's over on my drive.

1616
01:40:58.000 --> 01:41:02.000
No, I won't be able to see. Okay, I'll let you know.

1617
01:41:02.000 --> 01:41:07.000
I don't remember. Google tells me that someone has saved it or forwarded it.

1618
01:41:07.000 --> 01:41:10.000
I don't remember, but just in case.

1619
01:41:10.000 --> 01:41:14.000
If you want to just tell me.

1620
01:41:14.000 --> 01:41:17.000
Okay.

1621
01:41:18.000 --> 01:41:32.000
My email is v i l m i t 96 at gmail.com.

1622
01:41:33.000 --> 01:41:38.000
Okay, thank you so much for this. It was so good.

1623
01:41:38.000 --> 01:41:41.000
With you too.

1624
01:41:41.000 --> 01:41:43.000
We'll talk to you later, Ashley.

1625
01:41:43.000 --> 01:41:46.000
Bye.

1626
01:41:46.000 --> 01:41:49.000
Bye.

1627
01:41:49.000 --> 01:41:52.000
Bye.

1628
01:41:52.000 --> 01:41:55.000
Bye.

1629
01:41:55.000 --> 01:41:58.000
Bye.

1630
01:41:58.000 --> 01:42:01.000
Bye.

1631
01:42:01.000 --> 01:42:04.000
Bye.