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Hey there! Hey Ashley! There you are! I love your blouse! Oh thank you! Am I interrupting your lunch?

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No, you're fine. You're fine. Sure. No, I just like getting it out of my teeth. Sorry! No, that's totally fine.

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I want to eat before we talk. That's totally fine. You'll be my teacup choice this morning.

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Yes! I'm having my tea in my new favorite teacup. Oh that's awesome. Sorry, I'm like

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sweating. Oh my goodness, it's so hot here and I don't have the AC turned on

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and it's humid and being pregnant and everything so I'm extra sparkly today.

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Sparkly! I need to remember that. I like it better than glisten. You know how they say that women glisten.

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Oh, I've never heard that. I like sparkle better. I've never heard that one before.

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Oh yeah, with the lady that babysits him like once a week or so and so this morning I like

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just took the day off. It was so nice. I just had like four hours, five hours to myself.

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Yeah, and so then I went to go get him. He was out playing in their pool and was exhausted, fell asleep

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on the way home. So he's over in bed now. So it worked out perfect. I was like pretty sure

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it'll work out pretty good this afternoon. So I was glad to see you have a time open.

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Yeah, I don't probably sleep for a while, you know, with all that heat and the chlorine.

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Yeah, probably. He was out I think before noon and it's getting close to 90 here so it's like

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super, super warm. Yeah, I don't know where we are now but yeah we're already in the 90s

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and stuff like that. So it's probably like not even bad for you guys down there, right?

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Yeah, when you said it was hot up there I was like yeah but how hot is that?

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But you know everything's relative. All my work in the winter.

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I don't know how y'all do it. The wind, the wind is what gets me. Really? The wind in the

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winter. It's, I don't mind the cold as much as when it gets so terribly windy.

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Yes, I can't handle that. How cold does it get down there though during the winter? Like what

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are your average winters? Average is in the 40s for like cold, cold but it'll get down into the

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30s periodically. It'll get down into the, it'll get down into the, it's not very often but it'll

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periodically get down into the 20s. Maybe like once or twice in a winter and then it will get down

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into the teens like rarely but every now and then it'll get that cold especially in West Texas

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though but I'm here in East Texas in Dallas. So in West Texas where I grew up there, they don't

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have as much humidity as they do here in Dallas and so it can get very cold and so you get more

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snow up there on the panhandle than you do here. You know panhandle in Texas the part that sticks up.

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It's flat. There's not as many trees and so anyway it'll, it'll sometimes get down into

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the deep there. Yeah, yeah. It's not like it is up here. Our snow isn't like y'all's. You know we don't

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get feet. We're excited about like when we get two inches or four inches. This is so much fun.

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Oh wow. Well and even these winters are still mild compared to what we had in Montana. I'm like

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there, there is no winter back here because on Montana it was like so cold but then it didn't

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have, it wasn't a humid cold. It was like a dry cold. It was a different type of cold but then

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I mean the snow, it was just snow and snow and snow which I loved because I was like if it's

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going to be cold it may as well snow so. That's right. Yeah absolutely.

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I don't know how New York does it. You know how they just

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Just kind of, I mean, it was so many people if they just kind of like shut down that works.

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I know.

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Yeah, I know they have like this whole task force that's dedicated to nothing but snow.

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Wow, that's crazy. I guess you can have to in a big city like that, though.

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Yeah, well, no, I don't know that. I'm just, I'm just sure

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Well, yeah.

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Like

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Yeah.

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So,

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How are you doing.

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Oh, good. I'm doing really good. I mean, you probably thought by the silence that maybe wasn't doing that very good, but I've been doing really, really good.

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And

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I was thinking, I was like, in a way to explain how I felt this month. It's like, you know, when you when you hear a noise.

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And it's like a new noise. And so you're like, everyone else needs to be quiet. So you can hear. That's how I feel like I feel like for the first time, like

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I've actually been able to hear like, is that the Lord, like, is that God speaking, you know, like, I feel like I finally been experiencing him again. And I'm like, everybody else.

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Like, no, wait, someone's talking to me.

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Like,

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I and it's not like super like it's not like I'm trying to hone in and like, it's not like it's hard work to like hone in and hear this. It's like this new thing like this new experience. And I'm like, everyone needs to be quiet. So I can just listen for a while.

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But no, it's been so good. Oh my goodness. Even yesterday. Yesterday again yesterday morning I was out for my walk and I was just telling Laura said, you know, I'm just really ready to move.

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Like out of our house where we live now. And I'm ready for land because we live like kind of in the suburbs of town.

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I was like, I just really want to move. And I said, Lord, just give us the finances or the means or something. I said, a new client or a new project for Josh to work on whatever it is, however, the means are that you choose to move us with

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Just somehow give me some hope that we will be able to move soon. And then later that day, I had forgot about that. I was even that I had asked for that. And then later that afternoon, Josh like, oh yeah, I got a new client today that there's a his dad's company wants to jump on a monthly retainer like a monthly project which is like, oh my goodness, I just asked for that this morning.

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Oh my goodness. It's just, it's just absolutely I never knew anything like this existed. I mean, it's just been absolutely amazing.

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Yeah.

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Oh yeah, I am too.

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I don't know if I told you this before, but when we were first married, I was sure that I had married the wrong person. And it was like a major. It was a major form of conflict for me. I was sure that I married the wrong person. And I was sure that I was going to have a lot of problems.

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I was sure that I had married the wrong person. And it was like a major. It was a major form of conflict for me. I was sure that I married the wrong person.

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And I was sure that any conflict we had was because he wasn't, you know, the right one for me and all this stuff. And it haunted me for years. We're coming up on five years of marriage. And I would say the first two years, it was like extreme, like it would make me sick because I thought I had ruined my life.

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And now everything, every struggle or everything, every hardship that comes is now a result of the wrong decision that I made. And I started having these dreams that I was faced with the decision to marry Josh. And every time I was faced with it again, I chose someone else.

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And it was like repeatedly over the past three, four years, I would say. It wasn't the same exact dream, but it was the same type of dream. And it just kept haunting me because every time I would look at Josh, and then I would look at, you know, some other guy from our church, and I would always choose someone else. And I would always reject Josh. I was like, okay, well, this is just a sign now for sure that I married the wrong person, you know.

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And finally, it was, I think it was last week, it happened again, or two weeks ago. It happened again. I was like, okay, this is enough. I need to figure out what in the world is going on. I need to figure out if this is something that is still like lingering inside me because it's still something that I'm afraid of or that I believe. I remember you had said something very briefly that dreams are something that manifests out of what the soul believes.

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It, I, I

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Have those exact words. Yeah. Yeah.

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Happening in the spirit realm. Yeah.

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I remember you kind of touching on that. I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to go in once and see what's going on here. And

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And so I, I talked to Josh for it.

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I talked to Josh about it for a while and he, I mean, he, you know, bless his

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heart, he didn't really know what to say about it and he was like, you know,

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it's no big deal, like I know that you love me and I know, I know too, that

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I'm certain, you know, that I love him.

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And you know, we've been married for five years, we have kids together and

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you know, it's not like I don't love him, but I just could not shake this

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dream thing and I was like, okay, I'm going to figure out once and see what's

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going on and it just kept coming back to me, like this whole fear thing, fear

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that I made the wrong choice and the fear that, like the fear that I'll

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never be able to reconcile, that I made the wrong choice and I just finally

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told God, I said, I don't know where this is coming from or what in the

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world is going on, but I said, I would really appreciate it if it would stop.

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So whatever my soul is believing that is going on, just, it needs to stop.

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I said that I know that I married the right person and I know that I told

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God, I know that you wouldn't let me ruin my life with marrying the wrong

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person, said, I believe I married the wrong person and whatever it is that

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the soul is still believing, it can stop because you know, we, I know

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that I made the right choice.

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And would you believe last night I had another dream, the exact same scenario.

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I was ready to make a decision about who to marry and I turned around and I

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looked at somebody else and without even thinking, I chose Josh and we got, we

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were ready to get married and I was like, oh my goodness, in all of the years that

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I've been having these dreams, I have never once actually chosen him and I was

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like, oh my word, like not only like did the dream didn't stop, but then I was

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like a reconciliation dream for me.

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Like knowing that in the end I actually chose Josh.

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Yeah.

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It's like, oh my goodness.

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Like that brought so much, so much peace into my heart.

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I was like, I didn't expect to actually have a dream that would reconcile it.

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I figured maybe it would just go away.

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Yeah.

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I was like, oh my goodness.

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That was just, that made my whole entire year.

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I mean, it has been years.

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I like the same scenario over and over and over again.

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And I was like, okay, what is going on?

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But I realized like how much fear I was still holding on to, like from just being

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afraid that I made the wrong decision and that these dreams are from the Lord

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confirming that and all this stuff.

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And it was just so incredibly freeing.

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And then I couldn't believe like last night I had another dream and it was

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like the other way around, yes, something must have worked.

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I don't know what worked, but something did.

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So that was like super, super neat.

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I was like, I want to make sure and tell Ashley about that.

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Cause I just thought that was the coolest thing.

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That is, that's really, really huge.

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That's very huge in multiple ways.

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That's wonderful.

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I'm so excited for you because you're right.

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You know, we, we do dream.

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Um, when you, when you asked me about that, you know, had I said that it's

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like, oh wow, I didn't remember us talking about that.

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Uh, but yeah, so sometimes, you know, our dreams manifest what it is that we're

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believing in our soul and like this conflict that we're having.

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And then there are other times in which, um, it's our soul watching something

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in the spirit that God's either trying to communicate to us or that

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our spirit knows and our, and whatever.

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So, um, so anyway, it's really, it's really, really interesting, but that

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was, that's really exciting because you didn't have to do anything.

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You just released it.

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You just gave it up and you told yourself.

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And you, and you told, I don't want to say the universe, but

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I'm saying is you declared by the universe.

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I meant like creation, you know, not God, but I mean, like Christian,

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you like declared it.

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Hey, look, I'm, I'm saying what it is that I believe I'm

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not being driven by something.

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I'm saying, no, this is what I'm believing.

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This is what I'm standing on and saying is true.

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And I expect that it will manifest like that.

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I will expect, I expect that it will manifest according to that truth.

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And it did.

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And then you were praying to the Lord and you were asking, you know, you

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know, I'm standing on this truth and I'm asking that you come in and that

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you, um, that you show me that this thing has that you manifested, show

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me and affirm that I really am standing, that the truth that I'm standing

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on really is accurate, really is correct.

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Settle it down in me.

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Um, so that enabling it to actually, uh, uh, manifest, in other words, you're

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saying that it already is so, and you just want it to, to form an actuality

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in reality and where we know where we're not having to do anything.

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We're not having to, like you said, we're not having to reconcile,

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you know, something or whatever.

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Um, but that the Lord just showed you, yes, it's already done as opposed to.

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Just having it go away.

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You know, so it's so much more powerful that he actually had it and showed, um, I don't

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remember if you referred to it as reconciliation, but it showed, you know, tied up all of the

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loose ends.

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Yes.

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I'm declaring that this thing is done.

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That's wonderful.

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Based off of what you did, you said, this is how it is.

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And I am saying, I'm not being driven by something outside or something that I'm feeling or by

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some fear.

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And then I'm this victim, you know, you stood up, you're like, no, no, this is how it's

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going to be.

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And the Lord backed you up on it because you were standing in his character, Lord, I know

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you wouldn't have, I know you would have, I know you, whatever.

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And he's like, yes, you're right.

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That is who I am.

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I am according to how you've declared me to be.

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And therefore I will show up like that.

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That's amazing.

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Wonderful.

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Now you don't have to, but if ever, if you get a chance and get a few minutes, if you

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would like to post something, I, you know, in the group, I know that would be encouraging

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and you don't have to mention it was about the marriage or anything.

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It would just be like something like, Oh, something that you were afraid of, and then

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you were concerned that you've made a mistake many, many years ago, or I don't know, whatever.

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You don't have to.

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But every time I hear things like this, I'm like, you don't have to get into the specifics

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of it.

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Cause I understand it's a very private thing, but if there's some way that you can think

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of that's in your heart that you'd like to share that, if then that's great.

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If you don't feel that it's something to share, then don't know what you, you know, whatsoever.

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It just, just an idea for you to decide as to whether or not you want to share that you

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know, an aspect of it and share the principle of it, not because the specifics of it don't

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matter.

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It don't matter at all.

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In fact, so much, we can get stuck on the specifics and not understand there's a principle

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that's important, not how it actually works out in somebody else's life.

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Cause then sometimes they have a difficult time making the connection with their own

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life because they're not seeing the principles they're too caught in the details of it.

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Like, Oh, well that's not my situation.

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That's not the point.

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It's the principle.

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Just an idea that I like to mention to people because I always get excited about hearing

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these things and I know other people do as well, but so that's, that's wonderful.

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Did you tell Josh?

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I didn't get a chance to this morning.

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I was still like wrapping my mind around it and making breakfast and he left before I

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got a chance that like, I can't wait to tell him when he comes home.

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Cause I know that it'll be a huge deal for him too, because he knows the turmoil that

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I have been over it.

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Oh my word.

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And it is just, it's one of those things that just eats you up inside, you know, and then

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you have dreams to confirm what a horrible choice he made, you know, or that's how you

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feel.

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And it's just, it was just one of those things like, God totally didn't have to do that for

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me.

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You know, he totally didn't have to do it for me.

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And he did.

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And like even way more than I ever thought he would like, wow, this is just incredible.

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That's exciting.

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And then the client, you know, what you were praying for, I loved how you prayed.

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You were just like, Lord, how do you want to come through?

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As opposed to asking specifically, Lord, I'm asking for this, I'm asking for the client

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I'm at, or I'm asking for this, or I'm asking for this.

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It was, you're just like, Lord, I don't know how you want to do it.

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You can do this.

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You can do this.

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You can do this.

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You can do whatever.

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I don't know.

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I don't know.

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I think we have to approach the Lord because we are opening our, it's evidence that we're

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opening ourselves up to receive the manifestation of his character, as opposed to being focused

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on, no, Lord, I will only see that you love me if it works like this.

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Then what we don't realize is we're limiting him when the whole point of it isn't the result.

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It's not the physical thing.

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It's not the manifestation that's important.

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It's his character that's important.

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He's the one who chooses, the giver of love is the one who chooses how he wants to express

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the love because love says everything about the giver, not about the receiver.

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It's kind of like, I don't know about you.

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I've gotten to the point where it doesn't, okay, well, let me rephrase it.

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If I ask somebody what they want, I don't mind them telling me what they want, but I

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don't like someone telling me what they want me to give them if I haven't asked them for

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it.

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I want to just give them something based on my heart and what it is that in my heart for

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them and how I want to express.

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that but I have someone in my life that's gotten a lot better but they used

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to they they receive they risk they receive love most strongly through gifts

250
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it's just something I don't understand because I just don't I mean I love gifts

251
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and they mean a lot to me but what means a lot to me is the thought that someone

252
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put into it the time that they put into I'm going to get it whatever it's not

253
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that it's not you know the gift but for them you know that so it's not my

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strongest love language I always translate that into my strongest love

255
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language which is words of affirmation and time so it's like oh my word the

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time that they spent or the words of affirmation what it is they're saying

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when they're giving me this thing you know that kind of thing um but this

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person just believed that if I didn't give them a gift that it that that

259
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whatever gift I gave them told them whether or not but based on the gift

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itself that told them whether or not I love them I mean I could give them a

261
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gift and they could see oh my word you don't love me and then I can give them a

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different gift and they'd say oh my word you love me and I'm like this is too

263
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much pressure it is stressful you know because they felt that if I didn't give

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them something that that they like that it meant I didn't know them mm-hmm now

265
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now one of the things with that person was that they didn't realize that they

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weren't showing me who they were and so therefore there's no way for me to know

267
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and so I got to the point where I just have to ask this person what it is that

268
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they want because I'm too concerned that I'm going to hurt them because

269
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they're gonna receive a gift that I gave because that I had put a lot of

270
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thought into and I thought oh I think they real I watched them really liking

271
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these things and they talked about this before and they're gonna realize that

272
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yes I always pay attention when they talk to me because I heard them when

273
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they said this and then they get it and then they're hurt because like I don't

274
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think it's not about you and how I feel about you and what I'm trying to do for

275
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you in other words me and so I have watched them I have stood there and

276
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watched them give a gift back to someone a few minutes after they had given they

277
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had received the gift and asked for a receipt because they said that this

278
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wasn't something that they usually like and they prefer to go back and get

279
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something else oh dear yes it well I just kind of stood

280
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there watching this poor person have to you know get the gift back and figure or

281
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no they kept get and figure out okay have I kept the receipts where I put it

282
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you know and they're trying to be really sweet up absolutely yeah yeah I'll get

283
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to the receipt and the poor thing was so hurt because they had put thought

284
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into the gift thinking I think they're really gonna like this and then the

285
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person is asking for their seat you know anyway so like oh my word they haven't

286
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understood this but the thing is that that gifts are all about the giver it's

287
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what the giver wants to express with themselves a person doesn't have to show

288
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love and a person does in person doesn't have to give love to someone else and a

289
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person doesn't have to get a gift so it's so nice when we just show

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ourselves the Lord hey Lord you want to love me and I want to present myself to

291
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you very intentionally and say I am open to receiving your love and however you

292
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want to manifest it he feels X he feels especially loved that way because we're

293
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not telling him how we want to be loved we're like no no it's you I want Lord

294
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how do you want to express who it is that you are and how I feel how you feel

295
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towards me so I like how you pray that makes so much sense so I never thought

296
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of it that way that makes a lot of sense so how that would how that works yeah

297
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never think about it being you know the gift being about the the lover not the

298
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receiver that makes a lot of sense yeah I was gonna say oh yeah when we're young

299
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in the Lord we don't kind of like children we don't understand that we see

300
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it in relationship to whether or not I like it you know whether I like the

301
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Legos that whether or not I like the crayons whether or not I like the

302
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whatever and as opposed to what it is that the person was thinking so the Lord

303
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does the same thing the spirit when we're young in this spirit and when we

304
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ask for specifics that is how we understand love

305
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So he shows himself in the way that,

306
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oh, are you there?

307
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Oh, there we go.

308
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He shows-

309
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Sorry, I got a phone call.

310
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Oh, no, that's fine.

311
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He shows himself in where it is that we're looking.

312
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So if we're looking at a particular direction,

313
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he's gonna put himself there,

314
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but eventually he wants us to get to the point

315
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where he can be over here, call us,

316
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and we can turn and find him.

317
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Even if it's in the unknown,

318
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even if it's in an area

319
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in which we've never seen him before,

320
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we've never watched him manifest,

321
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we've never seen his love,

322
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we've never seen that expression actually

323
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be an expression of love before.

324
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We always thought it was an expression of something else.

325
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And so, but that comes as we mature.

326
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But when we're young, we can ask for specifics

327
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and then, young in the faith,

328
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then we can ask for specifics

329
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because that's all we understand.

330
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And then the Lord will come through in those ways.

331
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But we ask for something and he gives us that.

332
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But as we mature, as we come to understand,

333
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no, he loves me and I don't have to focus on,

334
00:26:09.480 --> 00:26:12.480
it's not the thing itself that tells,

335
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:15.920
in my initial response,

336
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my relationship between me and the thing,

337
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regardless of the giver, me and the thing,

338
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that tells me whether or not God loves me.

339
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God just loves me.

340
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So I can take my eyes off of this thing

341
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and know that he loves me

342
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and it takes the object out of the equation.

343
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And it makes, and then God can begin to present himself

344
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in bigger and bigger ways

345
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and show his love in greater and greater measure

346
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because we're willing to see,

347
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we're willing to receive his love in unknown areas now.

348
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So we can show his love all over the place

349
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and move us into bigger and better things.

350
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Let's say, for instance,

351
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I'm sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to say this

352
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:05.600
without sounding confusing.

353
00:27:05.600 --> 00:27:09.080
I think I'm sounding confusing, so let me give an example.

354
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Say, for instance, if someone asks specifically for,

355
00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:17.660
I don't know, a,

356
00:27:19.560 --> 00:27:20.400
what was it?

357
00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:21.400
What's a good idea?

358
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:25.360
Asks for a,

359
00:27:27.360 --> 00:27:28.200
I don't know.

360
00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:31.720
Trying to think.

361
00:27:31.720 --> 00:27:33.720
Well, they just ask for something.

362
00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:38.640
Say, for instance, that someone asks for a new job

363
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:40.880
and, or no, not a new job.

364
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:43.040
They ask for a promotion.

365
00:27:43.040 --> 00:27:44.600
They ask for a promotion

366
00:27:44.600 --> 00:27:47.040
and they ask very specifically,

367
00:27:47.040 --> 00:27:48.480
God, I want a promotion.

368
00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:49.480
This is all I want.

369
00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:51.080
And they become very obsessed with it

370
00:27:51.760 --> 00:27:52.880
because we can get that way about things

371
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:55.080
because we think the promotion is gonna fix

372
00:27:55.080 --> 00:27:57.920
whatever it is that I don't like about my current situation.

373
00:27:57.920 --> 00:27:59.120
So I'm just focused on the promotion.

374
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Lord, give me a promotion.

375
00:28:00.600 --> 00:28:04.000
Well, if we focus so much on that

376
00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:06.160
and God keeps trying to prompt us that,

377
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:08.360
no, I have a new job for you.

378
00:28:08.360 --> 00:28:10.000
I want you to move to a new job.

379
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:11.880
You're gonna like this job better.

380
00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:13.640
It's gonna give me more money.

381
00:28:13.640 --> 00:28:15.440
You don't even know it's out there yet,

382
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:19.360
but I'm trying to guide you away

383
00:28:19.400 --> 00:28:21.240
from focusing on this promotion

384
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:23.640
so you can start seeing this other thing

385
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:26.920
that so-and-so approached you about

386
00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:28.880
as a really great opportunity

387
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:30.360
that I know is actually gonna meet

388
00:28:30.360 --> 00:28:32.720
the desires of your heart more.

389
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:34.280
But you're focused on the promotion

390
00:28:34.280 --> 00:28:35.800
and you're obsessed with it

391
00:28:35.800 --> 00:28:37.120
and you're going, God,

392
00:28:37.120 --> 00:28:38.560
why aren't you giving me the promotion?

393
00:28:38.560 --> 00:28:40.440
God's like, okay, fine.

394
00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:41.760
I'll give you the promotion.

395
00:28:41.760 --> 00:28:43.800
So what we did is we just limited God

396
00:28:43.800 --> 00:28:46.360
because he wanted to give us something better.

397
00:28:46.360 --> 00:28:47.960
But we told him,

398
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.520
we were basically telling him by our obsession

399
00:28:50.520 --> 00:28:53.280
and by our frustration at this distraction

400
00:28:53.280 --> 00:28:54.960
that kept coming into our life,

401
00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:56.280
begging for attention.

402
00:28:56.280 --> 00:28:58.680
Like, Lord, why,

403
00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:02.000
there's this thing that the devil

404
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:04.160
keeps trying to distract me by

405
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:05.880
and I'm trying to have faith

406
00:29:05.880 --> 00:29:07.920
that you're gonna give me this promotion.

407
00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:09.320
And God's like, no, no, no.

408
00:29:09.320 --> 00:29:10.680
I'm bigger than that.

409
00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:11.720
I'm better than that.

410
00:29:11.720 --> 00:29:12.840
I'm more loving than that.

411
00:29:12.840 --> 00:29:14.320
I wanna give you this,

412
00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:16.440
but this is the only way in which you believe

413
00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:18.480
that I can love you.

414
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:21.280
So therefore, I'm gonna manifest my love like that.

415
00:29:21.280 --> 00:29:23.080
And we get so excited and so happy

416
00:29:23.080 --> 00:29:26.000
and we don't realize that we just limited,

417
00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:27.520
we limited what God,

418
00:29:27.520 --> 00:29:31.040
we limited the amount in which God wanted to express

419
00:29:31.040 --> 00:29:33.440
how much he loves us.

420
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:35.920
So that's one of the ways in which we can limit ourselves

421
00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:38.440
is by asking to specifically,

422
00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:41.760
unless the Lord outputs something on our heart.

423
00:29:41.760 --> 00:29:43.320
And there's nothing wrong about asking

424
00:29:43.320 --> 00:29:44.880
for something specifically.

425
00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:48.120
It's the stranglehold we put on it

426
00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:50.680
and insisting that, Lord, this is the way.

427
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:51.520
That's the problem.

428
00:29:51.520 --> 00:29:53.680
There's nothing, I ask for specifics all the time,

429
00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:57.440
but I don't hold on to them.

430
00:29:57.440 --> 00:29:59.640
I just kind of keep my hands in a river

431
00:29:59.640 --> 00:30:00.640
and just let them go.

432
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.820
The water, you know, the water of the Lord and just kind of like the flow of life just kind of flow through my fingers, as opposed to trying to grasp something

433
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:13.900
I just, I just keep it open like Lord, this would be nice. I really like this. I really like that.

434
00:30:14.620 --> 00:30:22.740
And sometimes it's the only way that I understand how to express the deep desires of my heart that he understands are bigger than I do.

435
00:30:23.040 --> 00:30:40.860
The only way I can think of how to express the desire my heart is X and God's like, no, no, that the desire of your heart is like this big and you only say it like this, but I want to give you this because I know that that's really what it is that you want to make him into you. I like how you pray.

436
00:30:40.860 --> 00:31:02.060
That makes sense. And I've, I've, I've been experiencing kind of what you were saying towards the end about how you don't even know how big the desires of your heart are because we're kind of in the process of trying to figure out if we, if we want to move, like, you know, out of the suburbs and more into the county.

437
00:31:03.060 --> 00:31:14.540
And I, I told Josh recently, like, I did not realize how much I have not allowed myself to dream about things like that because I was so scared. I would never get them.

438
00:31:15.300 --> 00:31:25.140
And I told him, like, I all of a sudden feel like I can dream again. And I don't even like it's from a place so deep inside me that I forgot was even there.

439
00:31:25.540 --> 00:31:34.900
Like to live in place like on a place with land or with the meadow and trees, you know, and then just to actually let myself go there.

440
00:31:35.380 --> 00:31:50.460
I told him, like, it literally makes me cry because I it's been suppressed for so long. And I just thought it's interesting about how you said how a lot of times we don't even know the dreams that we have or the desires of our heart.

441
00:31:51.300 --> 00:32:04.300
Because it started with my garden. You remember the story about my garden in the backyard. And then from that burst into like this huge thing like, no, I'm actually ready to leave the suburbs and like get into

442
00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:16.140
land and have a place to really put our roots down and to have place for kids to run around and all that stuff. So it's just been really interesting how I feel. So all of a sudden, like,

443
00:32:16.620 --> 00:32:26.420
I have the ability to actually dream about something without being afraid that it's not going to happen.

444
00:32:27.340 --> 00:32:35.540
Because for so long, I had all these dreams and I was just waiting for God to squash them. And now it's like I have all these dreams and I'm just waiting for God to make them happen.

445
00:32:37.860 --> 00:32:47.540
It's just, it's a whole new life. I'm like, oh my goodness, I don't even know how it feels to dream anymore. But it's so exciting to think that, you know, it's only a matter of time until

446
00:32:48.540 --> 00:33:05.980
Until it happens or until we move or until however God moves us. I mean, at this point, I'm like, the way he gave us my garden. I'm like, who knows how it'll end up that we actually get moved, but I'm excited for what the next couple years hold for us because we can't, we can't get a loan or move

447
00:33:06.980 --> 00:33:22.580
Because we have been business owners for, we haven't been business owners for two years. So the bank, like, they can't give you mortgages or loans or whatever. So we're like stuck here for another half year or so. So we're kind of in the in between of

448
00:33:23.860 --> 00:33:35.420
Do we want to move? Where do we want to move? Where do we want to go? All that good stuff. Because we can't get a mortgage unless somebody would like co-sign or something. So it's been interesting trying to figure out all that stuff.

449
00:33:35.780 --> 00:33:48.660
Just, just a reminder. Can you see, is this, can you see this written the correct way for nurses? Okay, so just a reminder. So when you're talking about, oh, we can't because

450
00:33:49.100 --> 00:34:01.740
That's things that are operating in the soul and the body. This is how mortgages work. This is how loans work. We don't fit in that category X, Y, and Z. But if you're operating in spirit, anything can happen. So anyway, just FYI.

451
00:34:02.780 --> 00:34:03.540
So you don't

452
00:34:04.540 --> 00:34:19.460
Yeah, so you don't have to worry. So in other words, I'm just, I'm just giving you the opportunity. That is how serious our dreams are that and that's how they can work is because we are not subject to the laws. We're not subject to

453
00:34:19.540 --> 00:34:28.260
Either, what is it? Oh, sorry. Switch to this side. We're not subject to either. Can you see this or it's a glare?

454
00:34:28.780 --> 00:34:37.580
No. Okay. We're not subject to either physical laws, spiritual laws, or any other like laws that people create, which would probably fall under like

455
00:34:37.659 --> 00:34:48.020
Traditions of men, you know, these ideas that people come up with. Well, this is how this is how our mortgages work and this is how our loans work or whatever.

456
00:34:49.340 --> 00:35:00.060
And that is, but we're so used to thinking that way that now God does work within structure, but he, but anything of this spirit totally supersedes

457
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:12.360
structure. So just as an encouragement that our dreams are, how would you put that, that

458
00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:22.240
God can make anything happen that doesn't even make sense in the natural. People don't

459
00:35:22.240 --> 00:35:28.120
understand, wait a minute, I don't understand, how did you even get that loan? How did you

460
00:35:28.120 --> 00:35:33.640
do this? How did you do that? Okay. Did you see Renee's, you know, in the group, did you

461
00:35:33.640 --> 00:35:42.640
see her, her update, her, she did a video live maybe two, three weeks ago about their

462
00:35:42.640 --> 00:35:48.560
property taxes. Okay. So in their, their property tax, their property taxes were going to go

463
00:35:48.560 --> 00:35:53.960
up, but she said that they have hay on the, on the land and that, that gives them kind

464
00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:59.600
of like an agricultural makes it agricultural property as opposed to what would, that would

465
00:35:59.600 --> 00:36:04.360
be like residential property perhaps, which is obviously a lot more. And they, she said

466
00:36:04.360 --> 00:36:09.280
that they were going to owe $6,000 as opposed to, I don't remember how much it was, but

467
00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:15.760
I thought it was less than a thousand. It was like 300 or something ridiculous. And,

468
00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:20.400
and she said all of a sudden that they said that, that, that the law that they, they've

469
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:24.920
been doing that for years. And the person that they were talking to, and I don't remember

470
00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:30.840
who the person was, but it was somebody who had the right to make a decision said, Oh,

471
00:36:30.840 --> 00:36:35.480
well, you know, I'm sorry. I just need to let you know that you're getting out. Oh,

472
00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:38.680
$6,000. And they're like, well, why? And so they're going back and forth. So she said

473
00:36:38.680 --> 00:36:44.440
that while her husband was on the phone, she went to the Lord and I don't remember what

474
00:36:44.440 --> 00:36:48.440
she said, but basically the Lord, I don't know what you want to do, but thank you so

475
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:55.000
much for taking care of this situation for us. So basically she declared things according

476
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.920
to his character, you know, said, okay, this is how, this is how I believe that it is going

477
00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:06.000
to be. And I thank you for however it is that you decide to, to take care of this situation.

478
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:10.280
And then five minutes after her husband got off the phone, the person called him back

479
00:37:10.280 --> 00:37:16.360
and said, I don't know even why I'm calling you. And he said, I don't, I can't believe

480
00:37:16.360 --> 00:37:23.600
I'm going to do this, but I'm going to allow it to, I'm a lot going to allow you to continue

481
00:37:23.600 --> 00:37:28.360
to pay the small amount that you've been paying for your property taxes. They said, I don't

482
00:37:28.360 --> 00:37:35.080
even know why I'm on the phone with you. I mean, like it just totally superseded any

483
00:37:35.080 --> 00:37:42.400
kind of, you know, any kind of, uh, uh, what we would think of as, as, uh, you know, legal

484
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:48.480
obligation to pay that. Yes. Yeah. So I didn't understand all of the legalities. I don't,

485
00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:53.360
I don't, but whatever it was, the legalities were based off of, it sounded like the legalities

486
00:37:53.360 --> 00:37:58.960
were based off of what this person declared the land to be. And according to the way that

487
00:37:58.960 --> 00:38:03.960
they were reading the law, they were like, I don't think I can do it in any other way.

488
00:38:03.960 --> 00:38:09.280
But then they, for whatever reason, they had something that just told them, no, it needs

489
00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:14.640
to be the other. And so like, okay, fine. I mean, God can just overrule those kinds

490
00:38:14.640 --> 00:38:19.600
of things. And we read stories about like all of our demands were in prison because

491
00:38:19.600 --> 00:38:23.880
they had done something. And if I were, I don't remember, correct. I don't remember

492
00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:30.600
if they had actually broken the law or, or, uh, you know, by like preaching, but whatever

493
00:38:30.600 --> 00:38:36.040
it was, they had done something that the law thought you shouldn't be doing. So, and they

494
00:38:36.040 --> 00:38:41.800
were in jail. And so we all think, oh, well, yeah, they were in jail and it was unjustified.

495
00:38:41.800 --> 00:38:45.880
And therefore the angel came and he opened the door and whatever. Well, I don't know,

496
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:51.640
maybe according to law, it was justified, but according to the spirit, it wasn't the

497
00:38:51.640 --> 00:38:56.120
spirit always supersedes and they were preaching the gospel and they were doing whatever else

498
00:38:56.120 --> 00:39:00.760
they hadn't committed a sin. And therefore God was like, no, no, no, I'm going to let

499
00:39:00.760 --> 00:39:07.520
you out. So it, uh, uh, I just wanted to, to encourage you in that, that, that those

500
00:39:07.520 --> 00:39:12.720
are not restrictions for someone who's operating as a son of God. Now, I don't know if God's

501
00:39:12.720 --> 00:39:17.880
going to choose to operate within that structure, you know, of well, mortgages usually work

502
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:22.640
like this loans usually work like this, but even if he chooses to operate within that

503
00:39:22.640 --> 00:39:29.640
structure, you, he is not, he is not draining you within that structure. You are not in

504
00:39:29.640 --> 00:39:36.080
bondage and he is not submitting you in bondage to the structure. That's just simply the,

505
00:39:36.080 --> 00:39:42.560
the, the structure flew through which he's wanting y'all's journey to flow, but you're

506
00:39:42.560 --> 00:39:53.880
not in any way enslaved to, or, or restricted by, uh, by it. But believing that you're restricted

507
00:39:53.880 --> 00:39:59.320
by it is appealing to that court. And then you will be restricted by it. But if you know,

508
00:39:59.320 --> 00:40:00.040
you're not restricted.

509
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.400
by it and that God that might just be the means through which God wants to

510
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:09.520
flow well then then then that's fine then you're free in your spirit and then

511
00:40:09.520 --> 00:40:13.680
it appeals then you can appeal to the higher court and that's that's when

512
00:40:13.680 --> 00:40:17.120
sometimes God can even come in and say you know what that's not even the

513
00:40:17.120 --> 00:40:21.480
structure through which I want to flow your journey or he may but either way

514
00:40:21.480 --> 00:40:25.680
you're free as opposed to thinking yeah but this is the way that things are so I

515
00:40:25.680 --> 00:40:31.480
know that God can can give me something but he's gonna give it to me he's he's

516
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:37.640
forced to or he's going to force me to go through this that and the other well

517
00:40:37.640 --> 00:40:40.840
no there's no forcing there's no enslavement there's no restriction

518
00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:45.280
because you are above all of those things so you might just encouragement

519
00:40:45.280 --> 00:40:51.560
thank you for saying that because I was it was like it was kind of confusing for

520
00:40:51.560 --> 00:40:56.280
me because I've been thinking like I have these dreams for a reason like I

521
00:40:56.280 --> 00:41:01.120
know that God has given them to me but yet how are we still restricted like if

522
00:41:01.120 --> 00:41:05.240
the Lord would bring up the property for us I'm like how does it still work that

523
00:41:05.240 --> 00:41:09.840
we would be restricted then to stay but that makes so much sense so yeah thank

524
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:13.680
you for mentioning that that makes a lot of them you remember again we hear all

525
00:41:13.680 --> 00:41:18.880
these Bible stories and we think that's great but we're not we don't realize

526
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:23.680
that that's supposed that that's an indication of the fact that we're sons

527
00:41:23.680 --> 00:41:29.480
of God we just think oh well that was something wild and crazy and when Mary

528
00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:35.280
came when an angel came to Mary and said hey you're but you're 50 they they

529
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:39.760
assumed she was about like 15 years old based off of the customs at the time and

530
00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:45.800
they said you're gonna have a baby and she's like how can that be because I

531
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:51.320
mean we can see a mortgage and a loan coming through faster than we can see a

532
00:41:51.320 --> 00:41:57.640
woman having a baby you know I mean like you know there was no such thing as

533
00:41:57.640 --> 00:42:01.240
contraception back then

534
00:42:03.720 --> 00:42:09.680
does it sting is anything like that back then and I mean in God that wasn't like

535
00:42:09.680 --> 00:42:15.240
this wild and crazy thing that was just an anomaly that God threw in this monkey

536
00:42:15.240 --> 00:42:22.400
wrench that God threw into the world no that is him operating with a human who

537
00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:28.680
was who whose spirit is one with him and he they are just not operating in the

538
00:42:28.680 --> 00:42:33.000
Dominion but God's keeps showing trying to prove to us and give us evidence yeah

539
00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:37.960
but you can't you can't if you believe and so she did she said may it be into

540
00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:43.720
me as you have said I will believe that was that was oh my word tremendous faith

541
00:42:43.720 --> 00:42:48.680
that she had and we can see we can see you know that she had tremendous favor

542
00:42:48.680 --> 00:42:52.480
with the Lord and now when this angel came to her and said hey by the way I'm

543
00:42:52.480 --> 00:42:59.160
going to oh God is going to overrule any kind of physical laws and you're also

544
00:42:59.160 --> 00:43:03.680
it's going to be it's not even going to be in a way that other people are going

545
00:43:03.680 --> 00:43:11.640
to celebrate because it looks bad for a woman she'd be pregnant before she's

546
00:43:11.640 --> 00:43:16.880
married as opposed to something nice and happy like oh my word you got your

547
00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:20.720
your loan approved you get to move into a house that's nice you have to be like

548
00:43:20.720 --> 00:43:25.920
oh my word I don't know how that happened but it's nice she had to she

549
00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:30.320
had to not only accept the fact that God is telling her that something that

550
00:43:30.320 --> 00:43:36.120
doesn't make sense to her sense to her you know what actually happened but

551
00:43:36.120 --> 00:43:41.840
she's also saying may it be unto me as you have said meaning I know what that

552
00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:47.800
can do to my reputation he has a right to my husband or you know her husband

553
00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:53.000
they still call them husband but you know fiancee it had the right to divorce

554
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:56.120
her and I'm trying to remember you know separate and I thought there was

555
00:43:56.120 --> 00:44:00.560
something else means that she would never be able to be married again and I

556
00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:07.120
don't remember if there was some other thing that that that she that the you

557
00:44:07.120 --> 00:44:11.000
know that society had a right to do to her I don't know anyway I mean it was

558
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:17.320
serious and she still said okay if you say it I'll you know I may be into me as

559
00:44:17.320 --> 00:44:23.800
you've said I mean it really is wild and that's that's just God interacting with

560
00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:28.120
the Son of God not interacting and actually with the human who didn't

561
00:44:28.120 --> 00:44:35.440
realize she was a son of God yet but so point is that we read all of those

562
00:44:35.440 --> 00:44:38.920
scriptures and we don't realize no those are the situations that called us

563
00:44:38.920 --> 00:44:45.040
calling us to act in and believe him for today

564
00:44:45.040 --> 00:45:01.760
so anyway you're free exciting exciting just so you see how big we can dream

565
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.880
We can, we can dream so big and I'm like, okay, Lord, I didn't know how it's going to

566
00:45:03.880 --> 00:45:04.880
happen.

567
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:07.720
I didn't know what it's going to look like.

568
00:45:07.720 --> 00:45:11.200
I can tell you what it is that I would like my house to look like, but I'm not going to

569
00:45:11.200 --> 00:45:17.000
tell you what I'm demanding that it look like, you know, and be whatever, what do you, what

570
00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:19.960
do we want to do together?

571
00:45:19.960 --> 00:45:24.000
How do we want it to look, how do we want to, and then how do we want to journey towards

572
00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:25.000
it?

573
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:30.320
Is you and me flowing in relationship because the whole point is our relationship, not in

574
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:39.360
me progressing towards a goal, but anyway, there's that, that's good.

575
00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:45.640
So anything else that need to be caught up on or, uh, well, the only other thing that

576
00:45:45.640 --> 00:45:50.800
I wanted to talk about was business and I literally, when I stick my head in the sand,

577
00:45:51.120 --> 00:45:54.360
so I don't know who wants to save that for like our next time.

578
00:45:54.360 --> 00:46:03.120
I just, uh, the thought, the thought, the thought of my business literally makes me

579
00:46:03.120 --> 00:46:05.080
want to go in bed with a migraine.

580
00:46:05.080 --> 00:46:10.080
Like I don't know what is wrong.

581
00:46:10.080 --> 00:46:13.040
I don't know what's wrong with it.

582
00:46:13.040 --> 00:46:15.040
I just can't even go there.

583
00:46:15.040 --> 00:46:23.560
I just feel like when I think of my business, I think of a pond that's just gross and dead.

584
00:46:23.560 --> 00:46:28.080
That's the best way to describe it.

585
00:46:28.080 --> 00:46:29.740
And I do not know.

586
00:46:29.740 --> 00:46:36.760
I want it to be successful and I want it to, to make money, you know, and, and it is, it

587
00:46:36.760 --> 00:46:39.880
is making income for us.

588
00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:42.760
I just don't know what to do with it.

589
00:46:42.760 --> 00:46:45.600
I have no idea what to do with it or where to go with it.

590
00:46:45.600 --> 00:46:49.000
And I don't even want to go there, but I know I need to because I have clients.

591
00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:54.920
I mean, I have like people under me with Young Living and all that stuff.

592
00:46:54.920 --> 00:46:59.800
And it's just, I don't know what to do with it anymore.

593
00:46:59.800 --> 00:47:00.800
Yeah.

594
00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:01.800
Yeah.

595
00:47:01.800 --> 00:47:08.960
Well, um, uh, I recommend that what I, what I did is I went all the way back to the basics.

596
00:47:08.960 --> 00:47:12.360
Not like, okay, well, what should I be doing while I really don't want to know if there's

597
00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:14.840
a reason why you're feeling that way.

598
00:47:14.840 --> 00:47:17.240
And so there's a, there's a root somewhere.

599
00:47:17.240 --> 00:47:25.520
So you go, go back and just like, okay, you know, God is, do you want me to have a business?

600
00:47:25.520 --> 00:47:31.880
Is this something that you're, is, you know, when I get, when I quiet myself, is there

601
00:47:31.880 --> 00:47:35.440
something now, maybe not this business, cause again, you're not getting, you're not, you're

602
00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:36.920
not asking that question yet.

603
00:47:36.920 --> 00:47:40.440
You're just going back to, okay, Lord, what do you want me to do with my life?

604
00:47:40.440 --> 00:47:41.440
How do you want me to do it?

605
00:47:41.520 --> 00:47:45.840
How do you want you and I to express our relationship out into the world?

606
00:47:45.840 --> 00:47:49.360
Where do we expend our quote unquote energy?

607
00:47:49.360 --> 00:47:53.240
You know, um, you've given me, um, you've made me a wife, you've made me a mother.

608
00:47:53.240 --> 00:47:58.080
So I've got energy in those areas is another way and another model and another structure

609
00:47:58.080 --> 00:48:02.920
on the earth, um, that through which you want us to flow is one of those in the business

610
00:48:02.920 --> 00:48:03.920
model.

611
00:48:03.920 --> 00:48:10.800
Um, and then, um, and then understand that in the end, um, and, and, and be honest with

612
00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:17.520
yourself as opposed to thinking, um, as opposed to thinking that the business has to look

613
00:48:17.520 --> 00:48:19.640
a particular way.

614
00:48:19.640 --> 00:48:21.560
You're not even, you're not even there yet.

615
00:48:21.560 --> 00:48:23.920
You're just asking just business period.

616
00:48:23.920 --> 00:48:27.920
And then once you get that and you're like, okay, let's say for instance that God says

617
00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:31.920
that yes, I do want you to, cause if he says no, well then there you go.

618
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:37.880
But if he says yes, well then you think, okay, Lord, what, what kind of business, you know,

619
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:38.880
what is my heart?

620
00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:41.400
What is my heart drawn to?

621
00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:47.520
What is it when I sense your spirit and mine, what is it that we're doing?

622
00:48:47.520 --> 00:48:51.320
How does, how does life kind of flow out of me?

623
00:48:51.320 --> 00:48:52.760
What gets me passionate?

624
00:48:52.760 --> 00:48:54.480
What gets me excited?

625
00:48:54.480 --> 00:48:57.320
Um, is it helping women do this?

626
00:48:57.320 --> 00:49:00.680
Is it helping women with this kind of thing?

627
00:49:00.680 --> 00:49:05.880
Is it helping women to be free in this kind of area or is it, you know, men in this kind

628
00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:06.880
of area or whatever?

629
00:49:06.880 --> 00:49:13.280
Um, and then, and, and you just go on and you just keep asking yourself, you're asking

630
00:49:13.280 --> 00:49:19.160
the Lord questions and you just sense in the spirit, not just what his will is, not just

631
00:49:19.160 --> 00:49:26.920
your father's heart, but yours as well tied to the father's heart, not yours, uh, not

632
00:49:26.920 --> 00:49:27.920
yours down here.

633
00:49:28.320 --> 00:49:32.600
What is it that I want to do is if we believe that there's still this veil and we're trying

634
00:49:32.600 --> 00:49:36.600
to, and we're, and we're seeing ourselves in separation, but just no, no, no.

635
00:49:36.600 --> 00:49:37.840
This is we're spirit.

636
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:38.920
We're not soul.

637
00:49:38.920 --> 00:49:39.920
We are spirit.

638
00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:40.920
We have a soul.

639
00:49:40.920 --> 00:49:41.920
We're in a body.

640
00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:42.920
Yes.

641
00:49:42.920 --> 00:49:46.720
They're all one, but just like father, son, and Holy spirit, they operate as in a way

642
00:49:46.720 --> 00:49:51.760
as different as separate entities, but at the same time, they're all unified anyway,

643
00:49:51.760 --> 00:49:53.560
but we are spirit.

644
00:49:53.560 --> 00:49:56.080
So this is who we are.

645
00:49:56.080 --> 00:49:59.960
This is where our real desires, um, this is how.

646
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.860
but how would I put that?

647
00:50:01.860 --> 00:50:04.720
This is the desires that you're wanting to,

648
00:50:05.680 --> 00:50:10.180
that you're wanting to focus on is,

649
00:50:10.180 --> 00:50:14.520
okay, what is it that my spirit wants?

650
00:50:14.520 --> 00:50:18.880
And my spirit, and anything that your spirit wants up here

651
00:50:18.880 --> 00:50:23.880
is going to be perfect and beautiful

652
00:50:23.960 --> 00:50:28.260
because your soul has, your spirit has never sinned.

653
00:50:28.300 --> 00:50:30.180
So everything is fine up here

654
00:50:30.180 --> 00:50:34.180
and it's going to be separate and different than God,

655
00:50:34.180 --> 00:50:37.100
even though you're one with God and you're in God,

656
00:50:37.100 --> 00:50:38.580
you know, again, there's that whole thing,

657
00:50:38.580 --> 00:50:40.860
you're one, but you're separate and all of that.

658
00:50:40.860 --> 00:50:43.340
So there's God's spirit in your father's heart

659
00:50:43.340 --> 00:50:44.540
and your father's desires,

660
00:50:44.540 --> 00:50:47.320
and then there's your heart and your desires,

661
00:50:47.320 --> 00:50:48.900
even though normally when we're talking about the heart,

662
00:50:48.900 --> 00:50:49.740
we're talking about the soul.

663
00:50:49.740 --> 00:50:53.140
Anyway, I'm trying to just talk about this

664
00:50:53.140 --> 00:50:56.060
in a way that's very simple and not confusing.

665
00:50:56.060 --> 00:51:00.340
So I'm talking about getting to that part of yourself.

666
00:51:00.340 --> 00:51:02.780
You know, when you sense the father's heart

667
00:51:02.780 --> 00:51:05.700
and you sense yourself not in separation, isolation,

668
00:51:05.700 --> 00:51:07.580
and abandonment from him,

669
00:51:07.580 --> 00:51:10.420
oh my word, I'm scared of what God's going to ask me to do.

670
00:51:10.420 --> 00:51:12.660
So God, if you gave me my druthers,

671
00:51:12.660 --> 00:51:14.500
you know, I don't want to do these things

672
00:51:14.500 --> 00:51:16.160
and I want to do these other things.

673
00:51:16.160 --> 00:51:18.460
Well, that's feeling like I'm in a place of lack,

674
00:51:18.460 --> 00:51:20.900
that I'm scared of what God might ask me.

675
00:51:20.900 --> 00:51:24.020
So I'm not talking about going to that place of you

676
00:51:24.020 --> 00:51:26.500
where, you know, we believe that we're abandoned.

677
00:51:26.500 --> 00:51:28.740
I'm talking about, you know, okay,

678
00:51:28.740 --> 00:51:31.300
feeling that God is a safe place.

679
00:51:31.300 --> 00:51:33.140
I'm feeling the father's heart.

680
00:51:33.140 --> 00:51:36.140
Lord, if you're providing for me and you're taking,

681
00:51:36.140 --> 00:51:39.060
and you're protecting me and you're identifying me

682
00:51:39.060 --> 00:51:42.660
in that place where I feel safe and secure,

683
00:51:42.660 --> 00:51:44.340
what is it that I really want?

684
00:51:45.260 --> 00:51:47.480
If I don't have to provide for and protect myself,

685
00:51:47.480 --> 00:51:49.220
if there's nothing to fear,

686
00:51:49.220 --> 00:51:52.540
if there's no business that I can do that I won't like,

687
00:51:52.540 --> 00:51:57.540
that could attack me, that could hurt me or whatever,

688
00:51:58.820 --> 00:52:00.780
what is it that I want to do?

689
00:52:00.780 --> 00:52:03.700
Because I'm over all of those things.

690
00:52:03.700 --> 00:52:08.340
The thing is, though, that we have to do it from that place

691
00:52:08.340 --> 00:52:11.980
and not question it the way that we've been questioning it

692
00:52:11.980 --> 00:52:13.840
up to this point, because right now,

693
00:52:13.840 --> 00:52:15.740
some of your fear might be,

694
00:52:15.740 --> 00:52:17.860
and this is why you need to ask these questions

695
00:52:17.860 --> 00:52:19.900
because I don't know where that fear lies,

696
00:52:19.900 --> 00:52:22.860
but often, and this is how it was for me,

697
00:52:23.760 --> 00:52:27.700
sometimes that fear isn't that we don't wanna do the thing,

698
00:52:27.700 --> 00:52:30.300
it comes from the fact that the last time we did it,

699
00:52:30.300 --> 00:52:32.820
it hurt us, and we're like,

700
00:52:32.820 --> 00:52:36.500
and we associate our pain and our hurt with that thing.

701
00:52:36.500 --> 00:52:39.580
That thing is the enemy, and I want no part of that.

702
00:52:39.580 --> 00:52:42.040
So God, please don't ask me to do that again.

703
00:52:42.040 --> 00:52:43.820
Don't ask me to go back there.

704
00:52:43.820 --> 00:52:45.740
And so God will tell us, no, no, no,

705
00:52:45.740 --> 00:52:48.020
that was when you thought you were abandoned.

706
00:52:48.020 --> 00:52:50.260
That's when you thought that I was requiring

707
00:52:50.260 --> 00:52:53.220
something of you, and I was leaving you alone,

708
00:52:53.220 --> 00:52:58.220
demanding of you that you do a good job and get it done.

709
00:52:59.380 --> 00:53:02.500
And he said, well, no wonder you were hurt.

710
00:53:02.500 --> 00:53:07.140
He said, but now you understand that that's not the case,

711
00:53:07.140 --> 00:53:10.660
that I'm with you, and that I want our spirits

712
00:53:10.660 --> 00:53:13.100
to take a journey and flow together,

713
00:53:13.100 --> 00:53:16.300
not you deciding on your own how to execute it.

714
00:53:16.300 --> 00:53:17.980
He said, because no wonder you got hurt,

715
00:53:18.820 --> 00:53:20.140
because you weren't built to provide for

716
00:53:20.140 --> 00:53:21.340
and protect yourself.

717
00:53:21.340 --> 00:53:23.620
So obviously you got hurt.

718
00:53:23.620 --> 00:53:26.460
So it's like, we're not, he said, this time,

719
00:53:26.460 --> 00:53:28.420
we're not gonna do it that way.

720
00:53:28.420 --> 00:53:32.140
This time, what hurt you can't hurt you anymore,

721
00:53:32.140 --> 00:53:34.060
because you're coming at it from the devil,

722
00:53:34.060 --> 00:53:35.780
coming at it from your spirit,

723
00:53:35.780 --> 00:53:38.220
and you're coming at it in conjunction with me,

724
00:53:38.220 --> 00:53:40.340
and that has life and power

725
00:53:40.340 --> 00:53:43.300
that supersedes anything of this world.

726
00:53:43.300 --> 00:53:45.700
So that's what you're getting back to

727
00:53:45.700 --> 00:53:46.980
is you're trying to figure out, okay,

728
00:53:46.980 --> 00:53:48.540
well, how far back does this go?

729
00:53:48.540 --> 00:53:50.940
Does this go to the fact that I started a business

730
00:53:50.940 --> 00:53:53.220
based off the fact that I felt I had to provide for

731
00:53:53.220 --> 00:53:55.980
and protect myself, and I thought we needed money,

732
00:53:55.980 --> 00:53:57.380
and I thought this would be a good way

733
00:53:57.380 --> 00:53:58.860
to expend my energy,

734
00:53:58.860 --> 00:54:01.660
and so therefore I'm trying to do something,

735
00:54:01.660 --> 00:54:04.260
and God didn't even want me to start a business?

736
00:54:04.260 --> 00:54:06.700
Or is it that, no, I was following

737
00:54:06.700 --> 00:54:08.340
what the Lord wanted me to do,

738
00:54:08.340 --> 00:54:10.500
but I picked the wrong one?

739
00:54:10.500 --> 00:54:12.780
And not the wrong one, I don't wanna say the wrong one,

740
00:54:12.780 --> 00:54:15.340
but I picked one based off of, again,

741
00:54:15.380 --> 00:54:18.020
okay, I've gotta provide for and protect myself,

742
00:54:18.020 --> 00:54:20.180
and this seems like the best option.

743
00:54:20.180 --> 00:54:24.260
I was able to get the highest amount of commission this way,

744
00:54:24.260 --> 00:54:25.980
or it seemed the easiest,

745
00:54:25.980 --> 00:54:29.340
or it seemed the most logical, whatever.

746
00:54:29.340 --> 00:54:30.500
Well, in other words,

747
00:54:30.500 --> 00:54:33.620
why did you make the decisions that you made,

748
00:54:33.620 --> 00:54:37.740
and regardless of why you made the decisions that you made,

749
00:54:37.740 --> 00:54:39.180
is God in them?

750
00:54:39.180 --> 00:54:41.700
Because you could have even made them for the wrong decision

751
00:54:41.700 --> 00:54:43.180
for the wrong reasons,

752
00:54:43.220 --> 00:54:46.580
and God's still like, yeah, but I still used it,

753
00:54:46.580 --> 00:54:48.700
because it says that God uses everything

754
00:54:48.700 --> 00:54:50.500
for the good of those that love him.

755
00:54:51.580 --> 00:54:53.940
So it doesn't mean that,

756
00:54:53.940 --> 00:54:55.820
oh, well, just because she made a decision

757
00:54:55.820 --> 00:54:58.340
for the wrong reason means that God's not in it.

758
00:54:58.340 --> 00:55:00.380
I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that.

759
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:08.880
Okay, well, why did I make that decision? And is God still is God still in it? Or is it that no, he's not in it. And he wanted me to do something else.

760
00:55:09.440 --> 00:55:20.440
And I made this choice because I thought I was, I was afraid I suddenly took everything into my own hands. So in other words, at which point in the journey as you ask yourself these questions.

761
00:55:20.720 --> 00:55:27.200
Did you start taking things into your own hands thinking I have to provide for protect myself and create my own identity.

762
00:55:27.680 --> 00:55:36.480
And then you might have done everything you know, according to the spirit in the final, it gets to the point where actually knowing, okay, how do we reach customers?

763
00:55:36.920 --> 00:55:48.160
Do I want to do videos. Do I want to have a Facebook group. Do I want to, you know, how do I want to reach people with Young Living Oils? Am I using everybody else's strategies and tactics?

764
00:55:48.640 --> 00:56:02.240
And that's why it's felt uncomfortable. It's not fun. I it feels like this stagnant pond. It's just gross, because it doesn't have your spirit in it. It has somebody else's spirit in it.

765
00:56:02.600 --> 00:56:08.160
Because it that what worked for them, but they don't understand that it wasn't the strategy that works.

766
00:56:08.800 --> 00:56:15.880
This is a little complicated, but just trying to be simple here. It's not that it was the strategy that worked as if it's this formula that works for everybody.

767
00:56:16.080 --> 00:56:27.400
The reason that it worked for them is their spirit was in it. And that's why it worked. So when you apply your spirit, it doesn't work because it's your spirit. That's the life fuel. It's not the things you're doing.

768
00:56:27.920 --> 00:56:42.280
So you need to go, you need to express your spirit in whatever way it's supposed to manifest itself. And it's maybe not supposed to manifest itself in a Facebook group or an individual parties or in what does that make sense?

769
00:56:43.960 --> 00:56:44.600
Yeah, yeah.

770
00:56:45.280 --> 00:56:45.800
I feel like

771
00:56:47.160 --> 00:56:49.160
I feel like from the very get go. It was

772
00:56:50.160 --> 00:57:06.040
I had no idea what I was doing. Like, I feel like, well, it's it started most on Instagram, like my audience, I guess, or whatever, being on there. And that was because I was postpartum and depressed and needed something to do.

773
00:57:06.760 --> 00:57:10.120
And well, because we'll start something

774
00:57:12.320 --> 00:57:21.400
That obviously is really toxic right now. So no, I know. Like, I just started it because I was extremely depressed and lonely Josh was working on and I needed something to do.

775
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:34.240
And then before I knew it, like I had people that needed me and I didn't know what I got myself into. But I knew all along, like this whole multiple marketing thing. Like, I can't, I can't even like

776
00:57:34.400 --> 00:57:43.560
Oh, I hate multiple marketing structure. I just hate it because the only thing I knew all along that the only thing that's going to set it apart is me.

777
00:57:43.960 --> 00:57:51.280
And it puts so much pressure on me because I'm like, this is like this whole structure thing is so dumb because like you are the only

778
00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:58.000
Common you are the only denominator. How is that you are the you know what I'm trying to say that you are the

779
00:57:58.640 --> 00:58:09.520
Basically, here's the thing that sets yourself apart, especially in multi level marketing. So I was like, Okay, well, if I wasn't doing good, then it was my fault because I wasn't producing enough. I wasn't whatever and then

780
00:58:10.720 --> 00:58:15.920
Did really let myself like really let myself flow and let my spirit flow out of me.

781
00:58:16.320 --> 00:58:28.200
Then my business grew, but then someone attacked me really, really bad over that time and I still I still don't think I've recovered and I'm like, Okay, forget it, then I don't know what I'm gonna do.

782
00:58:29.440 --> 00:58:39.240
Yeah, so I don't know because I know that my business has to be flowing from who I am as a person or who I am in my spirit and I just feel like

783
00:58:40.360 --> 00:58:43.080
I don't know what that looks like probably because I haven't

784
00:58:43.320 --> 00:58:45.000
Been doing it long enough. I don't know.

785
00:58:46.160 --> 00:58:55.200
No, no, I completely understand. I have discovered things even for myself, while you know me.

786
00:58:55.840 --> 00:59:05.800
I've been discovering it and I've been I've been open and transparent in some of that telling y'all, you know, oh, look, okay, I tried this and it in it, quote unquote, didn't work or I did a

787
00:59:06.760 --> 00:59:16.840
In other words, it didn't it. I was operating out of my soul and not my spirit or I did a video and I was operating out of my soul and not my spirit, you know, things like that. I was learning

788
00:59:17.240 --> 00:59:34.040
As I went, I'm still learning. Oh my goodness, the things that happened yesterday that I hadn't been doing videos on my on my Facebook page, for instance, and my personal Facebook page and this guy reached out to me that

789
00:59:34.160 --> 00:59:44.720
I'm trying to remember if we've ever been really in contact before just this random guy on Facebook. He said he's a Christian. I he's not a preacher, but

790
00:59:45.280 --> 01:00:01.280
I don't know some kind of that he has it on his heart that he's always, you know, trying to pour the Word of God into other people and he just randomly reached out to me. Essentially, we've never had contact randomly reached out to me.

791
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
He said, Hey, Ashley, he said, I enjoyed your, he said, I've always enjoyed your Georgia

792
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:06.000
videos.

793
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:10.120
He said, you know, um, I can't just keep waiting for the next one.

794
01:00:10.120 --> 01:00:17.280
And he said, so get to work and they, and they said something like, LOL, you know, whatever.

795
01:00:17.280 --> 01:00:18.280
He's married with a kid.

796
01:00:18.280 --> 01:00:19.280
So it's all good.

797
01:00:19.280 --> 01:00:25.600
But the point is, it was just like this random stranger that, that just told me, and well,

798
01:00:25.600 --> 01:00:33.120
I just thought that they weren't, I didn't know that it was making that type of an impact

799
01:00:33.120 --> 01:00:37.080
on people where someone would remember them.

800
01:00:37.080 --> 01:00:41.560
And it's been a few months, it's probably been two or three months, if not longer since

801
01:00:41.560 --> 01:00:44.280
I've made a video to put it on my personal profile.

802
01:00:44.280 --> 01:00:48.520
And he just randomly reached out to this lady and tells her that they're missing.

803
01:00:48.520 --> 01:00:53.680
So I thought, well, we're, I haven't known what to do with my personal Facebook page.

804
01:00:53.760 --> 01:00:56.160
I haven't known, I've tried different things.

805
01:00:56.160 --> 01:01:04.240
In fact, you, if you look back over this past like year and a half, I am all over the board,

806
01:01:04.240 --> 01:01:10.000
all over the board, different messages, different offers, different, whatever.

807
01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.280
I'm trying to figure out, Lord, where, where is my spirit?

808
01:01:14.280 --> 01:01:15.280
Where are you?

809
01:01:15.280 --> 01:01:16.280
What, what are we doing?

810
01:01:16.280 --> 01:01:22.160
And I just felt lost in this sea and I just started, started trying things in even now

811
01:01:22.160 --> 01:01:29.560
when I have at least some, some semblance, I haven't under, it feels like more of an,

812
01:01:29.560 --> 01:01:33.840
of a concrete way to describe what it is that I'm doing and whatever.

813
01:01:33.840 --> 01:01:36.160
I'm still trying to figure it out.

814
01:01:36.160 --> 01:01:41.600
So when that guy told me that yesterday, I kept telling him, Lord, I thought that I wasn't

815
01:01:41.600 --> 01:01:45.080
going to be doing videos on my personal Facebook profile anymore.

816
01:01:45.080 --> 01:01:50.440
What are you, are, is there something, but my point is I began to explore in my spirit

817
01:01:50.440 --> 01:01:51.440
with the Lord.

818
01:01:51.720 --> 01:01:52.720
Okay.

819
01:01:52.720 --> 01:01:55.440
This man reached out to me and mentioned that that's where they're odd.

820
01:01:55.440 --> 01:01:56.440
It's very surprising.

821
01:01:56.440 --> 01:02:00.120
It's very out of the blue, Lord, I've been asking you and wondering what should I do

822
01:02:00.120 --> 01:02:03.240
with my personal profile, Facebook profile.

823
01:02:03.240 --> 01:02:08.040
And so I just kind of sensed in the spirit, okay, you know, what are some thoughts?

824
01:02:08.040 --> 01:02:09.040
What are some ideas?

825
01:02:09.040 --> 01:02:10.040
Not in my head.

826
01:02:10.040 --> 01:02:12.320
What are some thoughts and ideas in my spirit?

827
01:02:12.320 --> 01:02:14.600
Like where am I sensing the father's heart?

828
01:02:14.600 --> 01:02:18.640
Is there something I should, uh, that he's saying, Oh, actually I want you to start reaching

829
01:02:18.640 --> 01:02:19.640
people like this.

830
01:02:19.840 --> 01:02:22.120
I want you to express your spirit this way.

831
01:02:22.120 --> 01:02:23.920
I want you to express your spirit that way.

832
01:02:23.920 --> 01:02:25.320
Again, the results aren't up to me.

833
01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:29.840
They're up to the Lord, but in, in he and I journeying together in our relationship,

834
01:02:29.840 --> 01:02:31.200
how does he want me to do it?

835
01:02:31.200 --> 01:02:36.720
So he started giving me some ideas suddenly and I hadn't been able to come up with ideas

836
01:02:36.720 --> 01:02:40.960
for a week, if not a few months.

837
01:02:40.960 --> 01:02:43.200
And so, and that just happened like yesterday.

838
01:02:43.200 --> 01:02:50.640
So in other words, it's just like this journey where you're not supposed to know everything,

839
01:02:50.640 --> 01:02:55.560
you know, it's not all of these formulas and strategies that are down pat that someone

840
01:02:55.560 --> 01:03:00.040
else has figured out the secret sauce in the secret passageway.

841
01:03:00.040 --> 01:03:04.000
And if you can just grab ahold of that, then your path is clear.

842
01:03:04.000 --> 01:03:06.640
And it's just not true.

843
01:03:06.640 --> 01:03:14.840
For instance, young living talks like this because 90 some odd percent, 90, 95, 99% of

844
01:03:14.840 --> 01:03:16.360
the world talks like this.

845
01:03:16.360 --> 01:03:21.960
And that's that, Hey, we've set everything up so you don't have to, you don't have to

846
01:03:21.960 --> 01:03:22.960
do anything.

847
01:03:22.960 --> 01:03:23.960
You don't have to create anything.

848
01:03:23.960 --> 01:03:29.440
We have a set structure that you just step into and you take advantage of.

849
01:03:29.440 --> 01:03:30.440
They're not lying.

850
01:03:30.440 --> 01:03:31.760
It is true.

851
01:03:31.760 --> 01:03:40.320
But what actually makes it work though, is your spirit, not their structure, but people

852
01:03:40.320 --> 01:03:46.680
into it thinking it automatically works and I don't have to apply myself.

853
01:03:46.680 --> 01:03:51.560
So in other words, just understand when you're, when you're, uh, when you're thinking, I don't

854
01:03:51.560 --> 01:03:52.560
know what I'm doing.

855
01:03:52.560 --> 01:03:57.920
I haven't, I don't know what, you know, so often when I'm doing, I mean, I don't know

856
01:03:57.920 --> 01:03:58.920
what it looks like to y'all.

857
01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:03.040
If it looks like, Oh my word, Ashley's just got this cell thing set up and she just does

858
01:04:03.040 --> 01:04:04.040
this together.

859
01:04:04.040 --> 01:04:11.120
I'm just like, Oh, you do remember that I, within 15 minutes, I came up with the idea

860
01:04:11.120 --> 01:04:16.240
for the April intensive just as a highlight of kind of like, maybe I'll do a group.

861
01:04:16.240 --> 01:04:21.120
I don't know how, but I'll do a group and I made the offer.

862
01:04:21.120 --> 01:04:28.240
I publicly posted it within 15 minutes and then people were asking me on the call because

863
01:04:28.560 --> 01:04:29.560
they started being interested.

864
01:04:29.560 --> 01:04:30.560
They were asking me on the call.

865
01:04:30.560 --> 01:04:31.560
Okay.

866
01:04:31.560 --> 01:04:32.560
So what is it like?

867
01:04:32.560 --> 01:04:36.040
And in real time I was answering them, Oh, well we're going to have this, we're going

868
01:04:36.040 --> 01:04:37.040
to have that.

869
01:04:37.040 --> 01:04:44.680
I was making it up as I went and I'm telling you that there's probably out of all of the

870
01:04:44.680 --> 01:04:48.160
things in the April intensive, out of all of the things that are in the rest intensive

871
01:04:48.160 --> 01:04:57.120
now, there's probably only been maybe like two or three things from the original, from

872
01:04:57.120 --> 01:04:59.960
the way that I originally said that it was going to work.

873
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.560
one day, maybe one or two things that are actually different every other time when I

874
01:05:05.560 --> 01:05:12.200
operated by the spirit, including the order in which I, I, um, I did teachings.

875
01:05:12.200 --> 01:05:15.800
I thought that the teachings were going out of order because I was answering people's

876
01:05:15.800 --> 01:05:16.800
questions.

877
01:05:16.800 --> 01:05:22.580
And then I was coming back around to my original teaching that I was going to do an order.

878
01:05:22.580 --> 01:05:26.160
I have not changed that order.

879
01:05:26.160 --> 01:05:28.080
I love them.

880
01:05:28.080 --> 01:05:32.200
And that's because every time I try to change the order, God's like, no, actually, that's

881
01:05:32.200 --> 01:05:35.320
not the order in the way that people need to hear it.

882
01:05:35.320 --> 01:05:38.920
So if people were to look on the outside, they would be like, actually, that makes no

883
01:05:38.920 --> 01:05:39.920
sense.

884
01:05:39.920 --> 01:05:43.600
You know, because logically this should come before this, these should be grouped and these

885
01:05:43.600 --> 01:05:44.600
should be grouped.

886
01:05:44.600 --> 01:05:48.440
But whenever I try to do it, it messes it up.

887
01:05:48.440 --> 01:05:52.240
Whenever I think that I'm not good enough and that I haven't done a good job teaching

888
01:05:52.240 --> 01:05:55.080
case in point last night, I don't know if you've seen the live.

889
01:05:55.080 --> 01:05:56.080
I did the live last night.

890
01:05:56.080 --> 01:05:57.080
I got off.

891
01:05:57.080 --> 01:06:02.400
I was in the middle of the live and got off the live and I thought, Lord, I am so sorry.

892
01:06:02.400 --> 01:06:04.440
I don't think that it went well.

893
01:06:04.440 --> 01:06:07.720
I don't think that I did a good job.

894
01:06:07.720 --> 01:06:14.560
I almost, I had to force myself to rewatch it because it was like, it was making me heart

895
01:06:14.560 --> 01:06:20.440
sick and almost kind of like sick to my stomach thinking I messed it up and had gone live

896
01:06:20.440 --> 01:06:21.440
and everything.

897
01:06:21.440 --> 01:06:26.600
So I watched it again and I thought, and I prayed over it as like, Lord, I did, I, this

898
01:06:26.600 --> 01:06:27.600
is very interesting.

899
01:06:27.600 --> 01:06:31.960
I said, Lord, if there was something that I wasn't doing right.

900
01:06:31.960 --> 01:06:35.720
In other words, if I was just that way to word it, cause that's not how I told it to

901
01:06:35.720 --> 01:06:36.720
him.

902
01:06:36.720 --> 01:06:39.920
But it's like, Lord, if I was offering out of my soul and not, not operating out of my

903
01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:40.920
spirit.

904
01:06:40.920 --> 01:06:41.920
Cause remember, I'm still learning this.

905
01:06:41.920 --> 01:06:46.040
I'm still understanding how to operate my soul and my spirit and what it, and how to

906
01:06:46.040 --> 01:06:48.200
do it and how to recognize it and whatever.

907
01:06:48.200 --> 01:06:55.920
So I was doing, I prayed to the Lord while I was watching and I said, God, I said, and,

908
01:06:55.920 --> 01:07:00.760
and it wasn't just God I was talking to, I was talking as a son of God to basically the

909
01:07:00.760 --> 01:07:01.760
powers that be.

910
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:06.480
In other words, there's a lot of beings that are outside of just God and angels and all

911
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:07.480
of that.

912
01:07:07.480 --> 01:07:11.560
And I was, and I was talking, I was like, okay, I'm a son of God and I'm saying that

913
01:07:11.560 --> 01:07:19.760
I want the, the, the, um, I want the video to, and this is something I've already recorded.

914
01:07:19.760 --> 01:07:21.160
I'm not in the middle of it.

915
01:07:21.160 --> 01:07:22.680
It's something I've already recorded.

916
01:07:22.680 --> 01:07:29.560
And I told him, I want you to fix it in real time, whatever it is that I messed up on.

917
01:07:29.560 --> 01:07:37.640
However, it is that, uh, the way that I explained it was probably confusing, um, it probably

918
01:07:37.640 --> 01:07:41.560
that the ideas probably didn't come across to people and whatever.

919
01:07:41.560 --> 01:07:49.080
And I'm, and I'm, I'm telling you, I want you to, I want you to fix it and smooth it

920
01:07:49.080 --> 01:07:50.080
in real time.

921
01:07:50.080 --> 01:07:53.000
And by real time, I meant the fact that I'm watching it right now.

922
01:07:53.000 --> 01:07:57.560
I've already, it's in the past, remember it's already recorded and I'm telling you, I watched

923
01:07:57.560 --> 01:07:58.560
the whole thing.

924
01:07:58.560 --> 01:08:03.360
I was like, oh my word, that looked exactly the way I should have, I should have taught

925
01:08:03.360 --> 01:08:04.360
it.

926
01:08:04.360 --> 01:08:08.400
And I was in the middle of it and afterwards I'm like constantly second guessing myself

927
01:08:08.400 --> 01:08:10.840
thinking, I don't know that I'm doing this right.

928
01:08:10.840 --> 01:08:14.880
So anyway, that, that's just another point that I'm trying to make.

929
01:08:14.880 --> 01:08:19.479
Uh, I mean, it's another example of the point that I'm trying to make it when you're in

930
01:08:19.479 --> 01:08:24.240
the middle of it, you don't even feel like you know what you're doing.

931
01:08:24.240 --> 01:08:30.439
And so just understand that this is, it's just all part of the journey.

932
01:08:30.439 --> 01:08:35.279
And, uh, so don't be concerned that, well, I don't know how my business should look.

933
01:08:35.279 --> 01:08:37.720
I don't know what it is I'm supposed to do.

934
01:08:37.720 --> 01:08:42.200
Just start sensing things in the spirit and then trying them and just like, okay, let's

935
01:08:42.200 --> 01:08:43.680
try this and let's try that.

936
01:08:43.680 --> 01:08:51.600
I will tell you that, um, I don't know the majority of things that I, I don't know about

937
01:08:51.600 --> 01:08:52.600
the majority.

938
01:08:52.600 --> 01:08:54.920
How did, how would I describe this?

939
01:08:54.920 --> 01:09:00.800
A lot of the things that I have changed, well, yeah, in fact, yeah.

940
01:09:00.800 --> 01:09:05.640
Anything that I've added new, the majority of it, you know, in order to enhance the program,

941
01:09:05.640 --> 01:09:12.080
the majority of that has benefited, but anything that I doubted about how I had done it and

942
01:09:12.080 --> 01:09:19.720
I tried to redo it, bond, I thought, and here was my problem.

943
01:09:19.720 --> 01:09:21.200
I doubted myself.

944
01:09:21.200 --> 01:09:27.880
I doubted the fact that what I had to offer in my contribution was good enough.

945
01:09:27.880 --> 01:09:32.840
And I thought I need to work harder to do better.

946
01:09:32.840 --> 01:09:40.000
We can see hindsight 2020 how bad that, but when we're in the middle of it, we think,

947
01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:47.520
yeah, you know, surely I go, I was just flying by the seat of my pants and now I need to,

948
01:09:47.520 --> 01:09:51.760
and I know better than that, you know, I'm 36 years old, have been in a corporate environment.

949
01:09:51.760 --> 01:09:56.880
I know how to plan and I know how to prepare and I need to do better.

950
01:09:56.880 --> 01:09:58.640
And it messed up.

951
01:09:58.640 --> 01:09:59.640
It messed up point.

952
01:09:59.640 --> 01:09:59.640


953
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:11.480
Go back to an old community and I had to take all the previous teachings that I did and just, I almost threw them out completely. And then I heard a few people tell me, you know, how beneficial that they were

954
01:10:12.120 --> 01:10:14.640
Because I brought up new points that I hadn't brought out.

955
01:10:15.800 --> 01:10:25.720
So I added. I was like, fine, I'll keep them as additional teachings for people to watch it. They want to go more in depth, but the core teachings. The one I would just do live at 10 o'clock at night.

956
01:10:26.720 --> 01:10:37.440
This is this type of thing where I thought that I'd messed up and that I need to do it better next time. I know. I don't know how many like I would say nine out of

957
01:10:38.480 --> 01:10:44.560
I'm trying to get numbers to give you an idea, but basically it has all worked.

958
01:10:44.560 --> 01:10:54.960
All of it has been perfectly fine. And it's the fact that I thought that it wasn't fine that and I tried to fix it, but it keeps messing it up. So I'm continuing to learn

959
01:10:55.680 --> 01:11:05.600
How to operate out of my spirit instead of my soul and what it feels like in the minute. So I can learn how to shift and and learning how to

960
01:11:05.600 --> 01:11:14.240
Anyway, just learning how to how to flow in business and and understand that I don't have that being in a place where

961
01:11:15.360 --> 01:11:32.160
Your biz where things are going right in your business doesn't mean that things have to feel rock solid underneath you as in you're trusting something outside of the Lord. It's the Lord that needs to feel

962
01:11:32.320 --> 01:11:51.200
That you need to feel safe and secure with not that you have this foundation outside of the Lord on which you're standing makes you feel okay well I'm safe. That's trusting in something outside of God and I don't know if that makes sense, the way that I worded it. But it just so don't be worried that you're like, I just don't know how to

963
01:11:51.520 --> 01:12:03.120
You know, I don't know how to do the business. I don't, I don't know what it needs to look like. Unless God gives you a vision, you can pray and asking for one, but unless God just gives you a vision of what it's supposed to look like

964
01:12:03.600 --> 01:12:18.080
You might just want you to just the whole point of it is to journey with it. It's not that your business is supposed to look a particular way. That's not the point. That's not God's point. God's point is, hey, let's take a journey together.

965
01:12:18.560 --> 01:12:27.600
God's point is, hey, let's take a journey together. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this and it's a mindset shift.

966
01:12:28.200 --> 01:12:38.240
Because right what we tend to think of is know the whole point is it has to look good. The whole point is that it has to look smooth. The whole point is that it has to

967
01:12:38.560 --> 01:12:45.840
Manifest an X, Y, and Z way and I'm supposed to make a profit and that I look to everybody else myself like have it all together.

968
01:12:46.160 --> 01:12:59.960
That is not the point of any of it. The point of it is you and the Father journeying together in various ways in your life in your business is one of the ways in which you're turning together that the whole point is the traveling. It's not that it's not the

969
01:13:00.960 --> 01:13:11.960
It's not a result that you're going for, like, okay, well, I should have a Facebook group that looks like this and then operate like this and everybody likes that. That's not

970
01:13:13.960 --> 01:13:19.280
It's making the decisions within is that is that helpful or was it just

971
01:13:19.480 --> 01:13:20.520
No, that's helpful.

972
01:13:22.080 --> 01:13:25.600
Yeah, I just still yeah I just don't know. I mean,

973
01:13:25.600 --> 01:13:30.080
Yeah, I just feel like we live in in such a society that

974
01:13:31.920 --> 01:13:36.880
It's kind of just expected for all these moms, you know, to be these boss babes and these

975
01:13:38.640 --> 01:13:47.360
All that stuff. And I am so not like I am so not a hustle lady. I all but I still

976
01:13:48.360 --> 01:13:51.960
I don't know. I just my whole business journey is just

977
01:13:51.960 --> 01:14:03.680
One confusing loop after another. And I feel like it started out as it basically like if I could sum it up is why I started it was to prove to myself that I could

978
01:14:04.160 --> 01:14:15.000
And that was pretty much the only reason, but it's proven to actually provide finances for us and to provide, you know, lots of free things because all my stuff gets paid for.

979
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:21.240
And well, I'm just like, well, I could really push this and make a lot of money and then we could move soon, you know, and I'm like,

980
01:14:25.000 --> 01:14:39.320
It's just, it's very stressful. You can probably tell just by how I'm talking about it. It's very stressful. Yeah. And I'm like, adding another baby. I'm just like, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I wanted to somehow

981
01:14:39.480 --> 01:14:45.240
Have peace about it before adding another baby, but yeah, I don't know.

982
01:14:46.120 --> 01:14:47.800
You know how to get the answers you're looking for.

983
01:14:49.480 --> 01:14:51.400
And I have no idea. Please tell me.

984
01:14:53.240 --> 01:14:56.600
Is is to real release all of that.

985
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.320
that stress and that anxiety. So again, we always come back to this. It's released the

986
01:15:05.320 --> 01:15:09.800
fact that I shouldn't be feeling like this. I should know the answer. I should know what

987
01:15:09.800 --> 01:15:15.680
it is that, um, whether or not I should do a business. I should know what it is, um,

988
01:15:15.680 --> 01:15:20.160
you know, how it's supposed to look. I should know at least the next step. I shouldn't have

989
01:15:20.160 --> 01:15:25.480
an idea. I should be able to be creative enough to let the juices flow. I should be more motivated.

990
01:15:25.480 --> 01:15:31.960
I should be more trusting. I should be more, just let go of any of the shits. Um, I should

991
01:15:31.960 --> 01:15:39.120
be resting in God. I should let go of all of the shits. So just, just let go, just,

992
01:15:39.120 --> 01:15:44.840
just release. And then, and then all of a sudden things, things will start coming. You'll

993
01:15:44.840 --> 01:15:49.720
start, uh, you'll start getting the answers about whether or not, and you'll start being

994
01:15:49.720 --> 01:15:53.440
able to feel the father's heart. You'll start being able to feel your own heart and what

995
01:15:53.440 --> 01:15:59.680
it is that, that each of you desires and what the two of you desire together. Um, and

996
01:15:59.680 --> 01:16:04.680
what it is that he wants, what it is that, uh, uh, et cetera. And then, and then more

997
01:16:04.680 --> 01:16:10.200
and more things will come to light, but they can't come to light when we're, when we're,

998
01:16:10.200 --> 01:16:16.120
when we're stressed and we're, because we're creating our own, we're creating our own enemy.

999
01:16:16.120 --> 01:16:23.160
We are creating the very thing that is prohibiting the answers that we're seeking to come to

1000
01:16:23.880 --> 01:16:29.560
us. We can't hear them. It's not that God hasn't given them to us and has enabled us

1001
01:16:29.560 --> 01:16:34.440
to be able to see them and hear them because we're flowing in his spirit. So he's not hiding

1002
01:16:34.440 --> 01:16:39.280
them. He's not hiding them for us and playing with it. He's not hiding them from us and

1003
01:16:39.280 --> 01:16:44.720
saying, okay, I want you to come play hide and seek. No, he's just, just, just let go.

1004
01:16:44.720 --> 01:16:48.720
He said, because you're already in me. I want to reveal all of myself to you. The only thing

1005
01:16:48.800 --> 01:16:54.320
standing between you and me is the resistance that that is that you're building up. So if

1006
01:16:54.320 --> 01:16:59.440
you let the resistance go, you'll be able to see everything. So just let everything go.

1007
01:17:00.320 --> 01:17:04.640
Just like, Oh, just let go of the resistance. Don't try to believe something different than

1008
01:17:04.640 --> 01:17:09.280
you're believing. Just let go of the resistance that you should believe be believing something

1009
01:17:09.280 --> 01:17:16.640
different. Yeah, that makes sense. That sounds good to me. I'll gladly let it go.

1010
01:17:17.600 --> 01:17:29.200
Oh man. Oh, business and me just don't jive. We never have, but it's fun every now and then

1011
01:17:29.200 --> 01:17:33.120
it's a lot of fun. And then every now and then it's super stressful and I want to rip all my

1012
01:17:33.120 --> 01:17:41.360
hair out and then it's just a vicious cycle, but yeah. Yeah. We get stressed when we believe that

1013
01:17:41.360 --> 01:17:45.920
there's obligations, when we believe that there's some way in which we're not measuring.

1014
01:17:46.640 --> 01:17:49.520
There's some way that we should have done something different or we should have known

1015
01:17:50.560 --> 01:17:58.320
something and it didn't work out and we could have avoided it. And you know, we tell it that's

1016
01:17:58.320 --> 01:18:02.240
when all of a sudden things get stressful or someone who said something or someone who did

1017
01:18:02.240 --> 01:18:06.800
something. And also now I'm in this situation that I didn't want to be in. Well, I mean,

1018
01:18:06.800 --> 01:18:12.720
the wind and the waves don't matter as if they can't affect us. It doesn't matter what it is

1019
01:18:12.720 --> 01:18:19.360
that they do. If it can't affect us anyway. Again, I know I keep bringing this up. Jesus

1020
01:18:19.360 --> 01:18:26.560
left in the boat and the wind and the waves are buffeting the boat. It said that water came up.

1021
01:18:26.560 --> 01:18:32.720
I don't remember which gospel it pointed this out in. It said the waves came up over the boat

1022
01:18:33.360 --> 01:18:38.720
and water came into the boat. It was splashing on Jesus while he was sleeping.

1023
01:18:39.520 --> 01:18:49.840
And Jesus didn't feel a need to fix anything. It didn't matter what it was doing. His environment

1024
01:18:49.840 --> 01:18:58.640
did not determine his safety. So it doesn't matter what people do or say or how they attack

1025
01:18:58.640 --> 01:19:05.680
or whatever. What matters is what it is that what makes it matter is if we determine that it will

1026
01:19:06.560 --> 01:19:16.880
affect us. If we give meaning to it in our life, it means that we're receiving a lie about ourselves.

1027
01:19:16.880 --> 01:19:22.960
And when we receive a lie, that builds up resistance. It's creating that resistance.

1028
01:19:22.960 --> 01:19:28.880
And so we have to not receive those lies. We have to leave ourselves to be open to the Lord.

1029
01:19:29.600 --> 01:19:37.600
And then it leaves us completely free internally and unaffected by life around us. Remember,

1030
01:19:37.600 --> 01:19:46.800
Jesus didn't come to politically save people from the oppression of Rome. That was an outside

1031
01:19:46.800 --> 01:19:55.520
environmental situation that they all had to deal with, including Jesus. Because if Jesus was

1032
01:19:55.520 --> 01:19:59.840
walking along the road, you know, all over Israel, you know that

1033
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.200
it came upon Roman soldiers who were, you know,

1034
01:20:03.200 --> 01:20:05.520
who were wanting to,

1035
01:20:05.520 --> 01:20:09.080
who were always trying to intimidate the Jews

1036
01:20:09.080 --> 01:20:12.280
and like roadblocks and this, that, and the other.

1037
01:20:12.280 --> 01:20:15.200
Well, you know, Jesus was in Israel during this time.

1038
01:20:15.200 --> 01:20:18.960
He experienced the outward wind and waves

1039
01:20:18.960 --> 01:20:23.200
and environment of an oppressive political system.

1040
01:20:23.200 --> 01:20:26.840
You know, people are trying to do things and say things

1041
01:20:26.880 --> 01:20:30.440
and treat him particular ways, including the disciples.

1042
01:20:30.440 --> 01:20:33.000
And Jesus is just like, well, I'm free inside,

1043
01:20:33.000 --> 01:20:35.800
so it doesn't matter what you do.

1044
01:20:35.800 --> 01:20:37.800
And then when the Jews even wanted,

1045
01:20:37.800 --> 01:20:40.880
in Nazareth, wanted to throw him over the cliff,

1046
01:20:40.880 --> 01:20:43.640
Jesus was like, yeah, but you can't.

1047
01:20:43.640 --> 01:20:46.200
You can't if I don't allow you to.

1048
01:20:46.200 --> 01:20:48.400
I mean, Jesus wasn't operating as a God.

1049
01:20:48.400 --> 01:20:49.840
He was operating as man.

1050
01:20:49.840 --> 01:20:54.280
So it's because he gave up his divinity,

1051
01:20:54.280 --> 01:20:56.280
being able to operate out of his divinity.

1052
01:20:56.680 --> 01:20:58.640
He was still God, but he gave up operating out of it

1053
01:20:58.640 --> 01:21:01.840
because he did it so that we could understand

1054
01:21:01.840 --> 01:21:06.840
how we could act and how we could operate in the earth.

1055
01:21:07.800 --> 01:21:11.160
And if he operated as God, well, then how would we expect,

1056
01:21:11.160 --> 01:21:12.800
you know, to be able to use that as,

1057
01:21:12.800 --> 01:21:14.520
to have that as an example?

1058
01:21:15.840 --> 01:21:18.640
So he was just like, hey, y'all can do whatever,

1059
01:21:18.640 --> 01:21:21.080
but I'm free inside.

1060
01:21:21.080 --> 01:21:24.160
And so anyway, I'm just saying all of these things,

1061
01:21:24.160 --> 01:21:26.000
you know, for you to think about and take forward.

1062
01:21:26.720 --> 01:21:29.600
You know, that whatever it is that hurt you before

1063
01:21:29.600 --> 01:21:32.160
is no longer holds a threat.

1064
01:21:32.160 --> 01:21:34.040
It doesn't mean it won't happen.

1065
01:21:34.040 --> 01:21:35.600
It means it's no longer a threat

1066
01:21:35.600 --> 01:21:37.160
and it can't hurt you anymore.

1067
01:21:38.400 --> 01:21:41.240
So anyway, and the Lord is continuing to prove that to me

1068
01:21:41.240 --> 01:21:44.000
in my own business, because I had,

1069
01:21:46.000 --> 01:21:49.400
I had, I mean, almost the word business made me sick

1070
01:21:49.400 --> 01:21:50.480
because I've been through so much.

1071
01:21:50.480 --> 01:21:52.120
I've been through a lawsuit.

1072
01:21:52.120 --> 01:21:54.440
It was terribly unjustified lawsuit.

1073
01:21:55.440 --> 01:21:57.160
Oh, my words, horrible.

1074
01:21:57.160 --> 01:21:59.560
I mean, it was like something that you'd see in a movie.

1075
01:21:59.560 --> 01:22:03.000
It was so bad, it was so bad.

1076
01:22:03.960 --> 01:22:07.200
And I went to court, it was awful.

1077
01:22:07.200 --> 01:22:10.520
And thankfully, you know, the Lord saved us from it

1078
01:22:10.520 --> 01:22:11.360
and it was all fine.

1079
01:22:11.360 --> 01:22:14.040
But I mean, we've already been through that.

1080
01:22:14.040 --> 01:22:16.640
I've been through, oh my goodness, all kinds of things.

1081
01:22:16.640 --> 01:22:20.320
And in corporate America and in mom and pop shops

1082
01:22:20.400 --> 01:22:25.320
and had, was treated terribly by a client

1083
01:22:25.320 --> 01:22:29.640
who saw women as nothing but a,

1084
01:22:29.640 --> 01:22:33.600
like some kind of like, what would you call it?

1085
01:22:33.600 --> 01:22:36.000
Like sexual property.

1086
01:22:36.000 --> 01:22:38.120
And he did it publicly in front of other people.

1087
01:22:38.120 --> 01:22:39.640
I mean, I was never touched.

1088
01:22:39.640 --> 01:22:40.840
I mean, it wasn't that, but it was like,

1089
01:22:40.840 --> 01:22:42.440
ooh, it's the interaction.

1090
01:22:42.440 --> 01:22:44.120
It was so bad that my boss told me, he said,

1091
01:22:44.120 --> 01:22:47.560
Ashley, don't ever go to that client's office alone

1092
01:22:47.560 --> 01:22:48.520
without me.

1093
01:22:48.520 --> 01:22:49.880
Thank goodness.

1094
01:22:50.440 --> 01:22:51.280
Yeah, it was just very, very extreme.

1095
01:22:51.280 --> 01:22:53.760
So I just, and it didn't matter

1096
01:22:53.760 --> 01:22:57.680
even if my boss was present, this guy would,

1097
01:22:57.680 --> 01:23:00.080
it didn't matter how many people were in the room,

1098
01:23:00.080 --> 01:23:01.880
this guy would just do terrible things.

1099
01:23:01.880 --> 01:23:06.440
So I've just been all kinds of things,

1100
01:23:06.440 --> 01:23:07.880
all kinds of situations.

1101
01:23:07.880 --> 01:23:10.000
So I just like, Lord, I want nothing whatsoever

1102
01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:10.840
to do with business.

1103
01:23:10.840 --> 01:23:12.760
And God is just, he's like, no, Ashley,

1104
01:23:12.760 --> 01:23:14.800
what used to hurt you can't hurt you anymore

1105
01:23:14.800 --> 01:23:16.680
because you're free inside.

1106
01:23:16.680 --> 01:23:18.200
And back then you weren't free.

1107
01:23:18.240 --> 01:23:19.480
You didn't, you were free,

1108
01:23:19.480 --> 01:23:21.200
but you didn't know you were free.

1109
01:23:22.200 --> 01:23:25.240
The veil was already torn, but you just didn't recognize it.

1110
01:23:25.240 --> 01:23:27.600
He said, now you recognize it

1111
01:23:27.600 --> 01:23:29.880
and you're choosing to operate out of your spirit.

1112
01:23:29.880 --> 01:23:33.360
So it doesn't mean that things won't happen.

1113
01:23:33.360 --> 01:23:36.120
It means that they can't hurt you anymore.

1114
01:23:36.120 --> 01:23:38.560
They can't affect you because they can't hurt you

1115
01:23:38.560 --> 01:23:40.520
if you don't receive them.

1116
01:23:40.520 --> 01:23:42.520
You don't receive those lies, lies.

1117
01:23:42.520 --> 01:23:46.520
So, and then now if we receive those lies accidentally,

1118
01:23:46.520 --> 01:23:51.520
that habit, we can, we can immediately shift out of them.

1119
01:23:51.760 --> 01:23:53.440
So even if we were to receive it,

1120
01:23:53.440 --> 01:23:55.040
so it's not like, oh, my word, I received it again.

1121
01:23:55.040 --> 01:23:56.760
Now I gotta go through the whole school process.

1122
01:23:56.760 --> 01:23:58.600
No, you simply can't stop it.

1123
01:24:00.600 --> 01:24:02.320
So anyway, just all this encouragement.

1124
01:24:02.320 --> 01:24:04.360
I know it's a journey, but just wanted to mention,

1125
01:24:04.360 --> 01:24:07.520
you know, hope and encouragement of places you can go.

1126
01:24:09.720 --> 01:24:10.880
That's good.

1127
01:24:10.880 --> 01:24:15.080
Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I feel like, I mean,

1128
01:24:15.080 --> 01:24:18.080
I know that once I just really sit and give it up

1129
01:24:18.080 --> 01:24:20.120
to the Lord, then I know he'll come through for me.

1130
01:24:20.120 --> 01:24:24.280
So I'm sure I'll have something new to talk to you

1131
01:24:24.280 --> 01:24:26.680
about next week or whenever we talk again

1132
01:24:26.680 --> 01:24:28.640
about how the Lord came through for my business

1133
01:24:28.640 --> 01:24:30.320
and everything is well.

1134
01:24:31.400 --> 01:24:34.240
Yeah, yeah, and it's all about you anyway,

1135
01:24:34.240 --> 01:24:36.080
not about the business.

1136
01:24:36.080 --> 01:24:38.120
That's what matters to him.

1137
01:24:38.120 --> 01:24:42.120
So, and he just wants you to manifest your spirit

1138
01:24:42.120 --> 01:24:44.120
because he knows that how much he,

1139
01:24:44.120 --> 01:24:48.600
how amazing and full that your spirit is

1140
01:24:48.600 --> 01:24:52.800
that others need what it is that you have.

1141
01:24:52.800 --> 01:24:54.960
What you're discovering with the Lord

1142
01:24:54.960 --> 01:24:58.280
is how he wants that spirit expressed

1143
01:24:58.280 --> 01:25:00.160
to be able to reach other people.

1144
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:01.600
Is it through a business?

1145
01:25:01.600 --> 01:25:04.280
And if so, which business is it through?

1146
01:25:04.280 --> 01:25:05.640
And once you know that,

1147
01:25:05.640 --> 01:25:08.640
well then how does the Lord want you to,

1148
01:25:08.640 --> 01:25:11.480
in which ways does he want you,

1149
01:25:11.480 --> 01:25:15.040
does he want to facilitate the flow of your spirit

1150
01:25:15.040 --> 01:25:18.160
through that business to touch other people?

1151
01:25:18.160 --> 01:25:20.160
But he's still responsible for the results.

1152
01:25:20.160 --> 01:25:24.920
He's not holding you responsible for how people respond

1153
01:25:24.920 --> 01:25:27.880
and whether or not people even receive you.

1154
01:25:27.880 --> 01:25:30.360
But it's all about you and him, your relationship,

1155
01:25:30.360 --> 01:25:31.440
not about the business.

1156
01:25:31.440 --> 01:25:32.320
So you don't have to worry.

1157
01:25:32.320 --> 01:25:34.820
It's not like this thing that God's like holding over you,

1158
01:25:34.820 --> 01:25:37.320
like you better get this right.

1159
01:25:37.320 --> 01:25:39.240
That's not what it's about at all.

1160
01:25:42.920 --> 01:25:46.800
That's encouraging to hear because it has just been,

1161
01:25:46.800 --> 01:25:48.440
it has been exhausting.

1162
01:25:48.440 --> 01:25:49.360
You mean my business?

1163
01:25:49.360 --> 01:25:50.360
Oh my word.

1164
01:25:53.040 --> 01:25:56.160
So all you have to do is just let it go now and it'll come.

1165
01:25:57.160 --> 01:25:58.280
Sounds good to me.

1166
01:25:58.280 --> 01:26:03.280
That's really, whatever you're trying, stop.

1167
01:26:03.760 --> 01:26:05.720
Just keep telling yourself, just stop.

1168
01:26:05.720 --> 01:26:06.560
Just let it go.

1169
01:26:11.120 --> 01:26:14.560
So is there anything else you wanted to cover before we go?

1170
01:26:14.560 --> 01:26:16.520
I don't think so.

1171
01:26:16.520 --> 01:26:18.160
I can't think of anything else.

1172
01:26:20.080 --> 01:26:21.800
Boy, I'm glad you said you wanted to talk

1173
01:26:21.800 --> 01:26:23.280
because I love visiting with you.

1174
01:26:23.280 --> 01:26:25.480
Yeah, it was high time, thank goodness.

1175
01:26:25.640 --> 01:26:27.160
It is high time to talk to you again.

1176
01:26:27.160 --> 01:26:28.800
I was like, I don't know what we're gonna talk about,

1177
01:26:28.800 --> 01:26:32.560
but we'll just hop on and talk.

1178
01:26:32.560 --> 01:26:34.160
Yes, I'm glad.

1179
01:26:34.160 --> 01:26:37.800
Now, by the way, you said that you're on Marco Polo.

1180
01:26:37.800 --> 01:26:39.520
What's your, how can I find you?

1181
01:26:39.520 --> 01:26:41.600
Is it your email address or your phone number?

1182
01:26:41.600 --> 01:26:42.440
Is it my email?

1183
01:26:42.440 --> 01:26:43.280
I don't even know.

1184
01:26:43.280 --> 01:26:45.120
Is that how I usually find people?

1185
01:26:45.120 --> 01:26:46.400
Well, you can do it one of two.

1186
01:26:46.400 --> 01:26:48.880
You can do it your phone number or your email

1187
01:26:48.880 --> 01:26:51.600
or you do both on Marco Polo.

1188
01:26:51.600 --> 01:26:54.080
I have both, so I'm wondering what you have.

1189
01:26:54.080 --> 01:26:57.160
Okay, I think that mine is my cell phone number

1190
01:26:57.160 --> 01:27:02.160
and that one is 717-201-2400.

1191
01:27:04.720 --> 01:27:08.400
Is 717, is that Montana or Pennsylvania?

1192
01:27:08.400 --> 01:27:09.680
That's Pennsylvania.

1193
01:27:09.680 --> 01:27:12.240
Okay, what is Montana?

1194
01:27:12.240 --> 01:27:14.640
Montana is 406.

1195
01:27:14.640 --> 01:27:15.720
436?

1196
01:27:15.720 --> 01:27:17.200
406.

1197
01:27:17.200 --> 01:27:18.480
406, okay.

1198
01:27:18.480 --> 01:27:19.320
Yeah.

1199
01:27:19.320 --> 01:27:20.280
Sounds familiar, okay.

1200
01:27:21.320 --> 01:27:23.360
Yeah, ours in the DFQ,

1201
01:27:23.360 --> 01:27:25.400
we have a lot here in DFW,

1202
01:27:25.400 --> 01:27:27.240
but one of them is 817.

1203
01:27:27.240 --> 01:27:30.360
There's 817, that's more,

1204
01:27:30.360 --> 01:27:31.680
I think that's more Fort Worth.

1205
01:27:31.680 --> 01:27:34.840
And then there's 214, that's Dallas.

1206
01:27:34.840 --> 01:27:35.680
And there's lots of others.

1207
01:27:35.680 --> 01:27:38.480
There's 913, that's East Texas.

1208
01:27:38.480 --> 01:27:40.080
There's a lot in that area.

1209
01:27:40.080 --> 01:27:40.920
Wow.

1210
01:27:40.920 --> 01:27:42.240
Because you know it's Texas, right?

1211
01:27:42.240 --> 01:27:43.080
Yeah.

1212
01:27:43.080 --> 01:27:43.920
Yeah.

1213
01:27:43.920 --> 01:27:45.240
Like Montana.

1214
01:27:45.240 --> 01:27:46.200
Yeah.

1215
01:27:46.200 --> 01:27:47.800
Yeah, exactly.

1216
01:27:47.800 --> 01:27:50.560
Yeah, lots of, probably more people in Texas.

1217
01:27:50.560 --> 01:27:51.400
Yeah.

1218
01:27:51.400 --> 01:27:52.240
True.

1219
01:27:52.240 --> 01:27:54.040
How many people are in Montana, do you know?

1220
01:27:54.040 --> 01:27:55.520
I have no idea.

1221
01:27:55.520 --> 01:27:56.360
Not very many.

1222
01:27:56.360 --> 01:27:57.200
Yeah, it's not.

1223
01:27:57.200 --> 01:27:58.040
Well, I know.

1224
01:27:58.040 --> 01:27:58.880
Yeah, I was gonna say,

1225
01:27:58.880 --> 01:28:01.720
I was gonna say that they have lots of land and all that.

1226
01:28:01.720 --> 01:28:03.280
Yeah.

1227
01:28:03.280 --> 01:28:04.120
Yeah.

1228
01:28:04.120 --> 01:28:05.360
Well, it's good to see what you do.

1229
01:28:05.360 --> 01:28:07.240
Yeah, same to you.

1230
01:28:07.240 --> 01:28:08.320
One more thing I was wondering,

1231
01:28:08.320 --> 01:28:12.120
do you and Priscilla live in the same town?

1232
01:28:12.120 --> 01:28:15.080
No, we live in different towns,

1233
01:28:15.080 --> 01:28:17.160
but just like 15 minutes apart.

1234
01:28:17.160 --> 01:28:19.560
Oh, okay, so you do.

1235
01:28:19.560 --> 01:28:20.400
Okay.

1236
01:28:20.400 --> 01:28:22.160
Yeah, we live like in the same county.

1237
01:28:23.040 --> 01:28:23.880
Yeah.

1238
01:28:23.880 --> 01:28:25.920
We're like at least 20 minutes south of me.

1239
01:28:25.920 --> 01:28:26.840
Okay.

1240
01:28:26.840 --> 01:28:28.000
Well, that's not far.

1241
01:28:28.000 --> 01:28:29.680
I mean, that's really close.

1242
01:28:29.680 --> 01:28:30.520
Yeah.

1243
01:28:30.520 --> 01:28:31.360
Yeah.

1244
01:28:31.360 --> 01:28:33.480
I mean, I travel, my parents and I

1245
01:28:33.480 --> 01:28:34.800
live in the same metroplex,

1246
01:28:34.800 --> 01:28:37.560
and it takes me an hour to get to their house.

1247
01:28:37.560 --> 01:28:38.400
Wow.

1248
01:28:38.400 --> 01:28:40.480
And that's not even getting across the metroplex.

1249
01:28:40.480 --> 01:28:43.680
To get across the metroplex, for me,

1250
01:28:43.680 --> 01:28:46.040
is like an hour and a half drive.

1251
01:28:46.040 --> 01:28:51.040
This is on highways that go between 70 and 75 miles an hour.

1252
01:28:51.040 --> 01:28:51.960
Wow.

1253
01:28:52.760 --> 01:28:53.600
It's huge.

1254
01:28:53.600 --> 01:28:54.440
It's really huge.

1255
01:28:54.440 --> 01:28:55.280
Crazy.

1256
01:28:55.280 --> 01:28:57.120
I think that DFW is like the size of Rhode Island.

1257
01:28:57.120 --> 01:28:58.920
I think it's just huge.

1258
01:28:58.920 --> 01:28:59.760
Wow.

1259
01:28:59.760 --> 01:29:00.600
It's just huge.

1260
01:29:00.600 --> 01:29:01.560
Wow.

1261
01:29:01.560 --> 01:29:03.200
But yeah, I was asking that,

1262
01:29:03.200 --> 01:29:04.040
and then I was wondering,

1263
01:29:04.040 --> 01:29:06.480
how did y'all end up in the same place

1264
01:29:06.480 --> 01:29:07.880
if you were from Montana?

1265
01:29:08.800 --> 01:29:12.040
I got married and moved back here,

1266
01:29:13.280 --> 01:29:15.280
and my brother lived back here.

1267
01:29:15.280 --> 01:29:17.720
See, we had, in 2011,

1268
01:29:17.720 --> 01:29:19.600
it was just my brother and my sister were married.

1269
01:29:19.600 --> 01:29:20.760
My brother lived in Lancaster,

1270
01:29:20.760 --> 01:29:22.520
and then my sister lived like two and a half hours

1271
01:29:22.520 --> 01:29:23.800
north of here.

1272
01:29:23.800 --> 01:29:26.440
But then us three girls moved out with mom and dad.

1273
01:29:26.440 --> 01:29:27.760
Then Loretta got married.

1274
01:29:27.760 --> 01:29:30.840
My sister that's older than Priscilla yet,

1275
01:29:30.840 --> 01:29:33.000
she got married and moved back here.

1276
01:29:33.000 --> 01:29:35.560
And then Priscilla married and stayed out there,

1277
01:29:35.560 --> 01:29:37.280
and then I got married and moved back here.

1278
01:29:37.280 --> 01:29:39.480
So it was just Arnold and Priscilla

1279
01:29:39.480 --> 01:29:41.680
and my mom and dad out there.

1280
01:29:41.680 --> 01:29:46.480
And then dad was so bad with depression and suicidal

1281
01:29:46.480 --> 01:29:49.440
that after his attempt at suicide,

1282
01:29:49.480 --> 01:29:52.680
they actually ended up moving back that fall.

1283
01:29:52.680 --> 01:29:54.000
Cause he was, I mean,

1284
01:29:54.000 --> 01:29:56.160
it wasn't safe for them to be by themselves.

1285
01:29:56.160 --> 01:29:57.200
And like Arnold and Priscilla

1286
01:29:57.200 --> 01:29:58.600
had to be around all the time,

1287
01:29:58.600 --> 01:30:00.200
and they were just like wired.

1288
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.720
even out there. So I'm not even sure exactly why or what made Arnold and Priscilla move back, but

1289
01:30:06.720 --> 01:30:12.240
they've just packed up and left with mom and dad and moved them back. And then they have been here

1290
01:30:12.240 --> 01:30:16.320
ever since. So I don't know if they'll stay or if they'll move back to Montana. It wouldn't surprise

1291
01:30:16.320 --> 01:30:21.120
me if they would end up back in Montana yet, because Arnold's family's still all out there.

1292
01:30:22.080 --> 01:30:30.560
But they moved out in 2006. So it's been four years now that they moved back. So it's really

1293
01:30:31.440 --> 01:30:36.560
this has been since they moved back. It's like the first time that we've all been together since

1294
01:30:36.560 --> 01:30:42.320
my brother got married in 2008. So it's been a lot of fun all being together,

1295
01:30:43.360 --> 01:30:48.880
because I had lived back here for a couple years before my mom and dad moved back. So we were kind

1296
01:30:48.880 --> 01:30:54.800
of all a little bit spread across the globe. But now we are all within two and a half hours of each

1297
01:30:54.800 --> 01:31:03.760
other. So my brother and my sisters, my parents live here in Lancaster. And then I have one

1298
01:31:03.760 --> 01:31:09.680
sister that lives up like two hours north of here, two and a half hours. So yeah, we are all

1299
01:31:09.680 --> 01:31:15.520
we can all get together now for family gatherings and all the fun. Nice. Yeah.

1300
01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:20.800
And so you're in Lancaster. So I didn't know. So were you near Cheryl? Do you know her?

1301
01:31:20.800 --> 01:31:28.560
We are about 20 or 25 minutes from Cheryl. Yeah. And how did you join Young Living with her?

1302
01:31:29.440 --> 01:31:37.440
I met her at a coffee shop and got the colon cleanse. I didn't even know Young Living

1303
01:31:37.440 --> 01:31:41.920
was like, I had no idea what Young Living was. I didn't know that they sold oils.

1304
01:31:42.640 --> 01:31:47.280
I didn't know that they were like multilevel marketing. I just signed up and I didn't even

1305
01:31:47.280 --> 01:31:50.960
know what I was doing. All of a sudden I realized what happened. And I was like, Oh,

1306
01:31:52.080 --> 01:31:58.480
I guess this is a multilevel marketing company. Like I had no idea. I was so ignorant to what

1307
01:31:58.480 --> 01:32:04.080
I was doing. But I wanted the colon cleanse. And so I ended up with just the basic kit,

1308
01:32:04.080 --> 01:32:08.160
the colon cleanse and stuff. Because I kept seeing her posts on Facebook. And I was like,

1309
01:32:08.160 --> 01:32:12.880
look, I have no idea. I don't understand all this signup stuff. And I was like,

1310
01:32:12.880 --> 01:32:16.000
how about we just meet at the coffee shop and then you can help walk me through it. So

1311
01:32:16.720 --> 01:32:22.320
that is how that worked out. And we met down in Strasburg just a couple minutes from her house.

1312
01:32:24.560 --> 01:32:30.800
Because we had years and years and years ago, her sister Becky lives in Richfield,

1313
01:32:30.800 --> 01:32:35.680
which was only about half an hour from where we lived in Mifflintown before we moved to Montana.

1314
01:32:36.320 --> 01:32:46.240
And so she taught me piano for a year and a half. Yeah. And we randomly just got to know her.

1315
01:32:46.960 --> 01:32:53.920
And then we went skiing together with her and Cheryl and Jamie. I think that was it. Me and

1316
01:32:53.920 --> 01:32:59.280
Priscilla. And then we've got friends on Facebook and just like stayed friends on Facebook. I never

1317
01:32:59.280 --> 01:33:02.880
even was in contact with her at all until I kept seeing these posts about this colon cleanse. And

1318
01:33:02.880 --> 01:33:08.080
I was like, super sick at the time. I was like, Hey, I'm going to give it a try. So that's how we

1319
01:33:08.080 --> 01:33:18.000
got reconnected. Hey, well, I was an RA with Becky at PCC. So I knew Cheryl first because she was the

1320
01:33:18.000 --> 01:33:24.640
first person I met, you know, at a class, but then I became an RA a year and a half later

1321
01:33:25.760 --> 01:33:30.880
with her, with her sister Becky. So I know, but Becky, I think as a year older than I am,

1322
01:33:31.520 --> 01:33:38.160
I think, or I don't think she's a year older than I am anyway. So, okay. So I was wondering

1323
01:33:38.160 --> 01:33:42.400
making the connection. So, and then if y'all were, y'all were close together.

1324
01:33:45.360 --> 01:33:49.120
When, sometime when I get up there, the reason I was wondering, I was like, okay, so we do this

1325
01:33:49.120 --> 01:33:56.400
all together so I can know, I can't, how many people I can like, you know, visit at one time.

1326
01:33:56.400 --> 01:34:01.520
Have you been up East recently, or do you make trips up here every so often or?

1327
01:34:02.240 --> 01:34:09.360
No, the last time I was up there, I believe was when my roommate at Laturno, who's from

1328
01:34:09.360 --> 01:34:15.360
Pennsylvania, got married in Pennsylvania. And I don't even remember where it was. It wasn't

1329
01:34:15.360 --> 01:34:21.280
that far from Pittsburgh, but it was, you know, it, but it was, and it was, oh my word, it was

1330
01:34:21.280 --> 01:34:26.080
just, it was gorgeous area, not Pittsburgh, but like outside Pittsburgh. I don't remember why we

1331
01:34:26.080 --> 01:34:32.000
drove through Pittsburgh, maybe for the airport. But anyway, the, I don't know if she was like 30

1332
01:34:32.000 --> 01:34:37.520
minutes, an hour from Pittsburgh. And it was just, it was just gorgeous. Never been to, been up there

1333
01:34:37.520 --> 01:34:43.680
before. And that was in the summer of 2006. So that's the last time I was at East and I hadn't

1334
01:34:43.680 --> 01:34:49.840
realized that. Yeah. Oh, well, that would be great. That would be so much fun to be able to actually

1335
01:34:49.840 --> 01:34:55.440
meet you in person. I saw you and Amy at the rodeo and I was like, oh, I'm just a little jealous that

1336
01:34:55.440 --> 01:34:59.280
she'd like to see you and like actually be with you and.

1337
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.200
It's so much fun to actually meet you in person.

1338
01:35:02.920 --> 01:35:11.240
Yes, well, I'm down to determine that it will happen. So I'm just checking around me to see where people are because I'd like to go meet, you know, some of the clients.

1339
01:35:12.320 --> 01:35:17.680
That I've never gotten to meet and then I have all kinds of friends and family that are scattered all over the United States and I go meet them.

1340
01:35:17.880 --> 01:35:18.280
Yeah.

1341
01:35:19.000 --> 01:35:19.440
Anyway,

1342
01:35:20.120 --> 01:35:20.520
Anyway,

1343
01:35:21.240 --> 01:35:22.720
I won't hold you any longer.

1344
01:35:24.160 --> 01:35:27.120
Just ask the questions that need to ask you. So

1345
01:35:28.040 --> 01:35:31.400
Well, it was great talking to you again. I'm going to go hop in the shower.

1346
01:35:33.240 --> 01:35:36.280
The afternoon relaxing. I feel like I'm about ready to fall asleep.

1347
01:35:38.360 --> 01:35:39.720
Well, I hope that you have a

1348
01:35:40.200 --> 01:35:43.560
Have a good shower and good nap. If you're able to get one in

1349
01:35:43.840 --> 01:35:48.160
Yeah, thanks. Thank you. I hope so, too. Okay, well, it was great talking to you again.

1350
01:35:48.680 --> 01:35:49.280
Good afternoon.

1351
01:35:49.760 --> 01:35:51.080
Thank you to buy