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I'm going to turn it over to Ashley.

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Hey, Ashley.

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I was so excited about our meeting.

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What are you doing?

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I'm good. How are you?

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I'm good.

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I was telling Chris the same thing when I met with her.

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I've been so excited for our meeting.

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The quieter ones I feel like I don't get to interact with as much.

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I know each person individually and I have a relationship with each

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individual person.

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So basically I miss my friends.

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I feel like I'm more vocal in the group than others.

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And so anyway, you're one of the observers.

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You sit back and listen.

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Process. That's what I do.

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Whenever I'm in groups, I, I I'm very quiet.

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You wouldn't think so.

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But I'm actually very quiet when I'm in groups of more than one person.

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I just sit and I just listened to everybody.

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How are you doing?

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I'm good. I'm trying not to freak out, but yeah.

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Yeah.

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About what what's coming up these days.

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My boss just told me yesterday that she,

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well,

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I just confirmed it today that she's taken another position somewhere

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else.

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15th. And I was like, you're supposed to mentor me.

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You're supposed to like.

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Yeah. So.

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Yeah.

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That's true.

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The other thing is, I mean, you never know. I don't know what her.

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What y'all's relationship is like, what her situation is like,

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but one of the silver linings is.

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It can help to like be.

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If like, she's up for.

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You know, helping you, you know, and mentoring you and stuff like that.

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Then it can help for her to not be in that position.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No, she's going to be out of the company. Yeah.

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So some of the,

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sometimes like something like that might even be beneficial because,

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because she's outside of the company,

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she might be a bit more.

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Free and feel a little more free to be able to mentor you in certain

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things or talk about certain things, not confidential things, obviously,

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but just, you know,

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she's going to be able to talk to you and talk to you and talk to you

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and talk to you and talk to you and talk to you and all that.

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And you were already, you know, you just got this new position.

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Was it two months ago?

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Now, is it a whole new company?

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No, it's same company.

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This whole time. Okay.

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Well, I'm sorry.

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Well, eight months now. So, yeah.

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Okay.

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Wow.

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I just appreciate it because you're just like, well,

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who is it going to be replaced by?

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What is what's my experience going to be like?

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And how's that going to change my day to day?

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Yes.

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An opportunity.

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To trust in the Lord and meaning like, just be like, okay.

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You know, right. Lord, well,

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I don't know what the, what life is going to look like.

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I don't know what the future is going to look like.

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And so I just appreciate that.

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And it's an opportunity to get to see.

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You and how it is that you choose to reveal yourself in,

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to my circumstance and into my situation. And so, but it,

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it can be.

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That it can be a bit challenging to make that decision.

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You may be challenging in that, in that situation.

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So I'm sorry that you're in a.

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You're in a bit of a.

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Of a transition.

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Yeah.

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Good.

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So just overall, just how are you doing?

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How's the process going of, of, of this journey?

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I remember the last thing that I heard you say was that you were

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talking about that.

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You know, you were wanting to.

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Be close to Lord, feel that intimacy, feel that presence,

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you know, et cetera.

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And so I was wondering if you could share a little bit of that with

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us.

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I mean,

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I think it's a lot harder to be close to God than choose yourself.

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And so I just know those little snippets.

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And so.

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Can you kind of like fill in for me and what can I help you with?

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Okay.

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Yeah. So I, the other night I couldn't sleep. So I was like, okay,

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You know, I got out of the bed and it doesn't feel like you're not breathing anymore when you kind of transition sometimes, or is that just me just trying to hold my breath and let's transition.

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well, I'm just going to go.

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What do you mean, when you, well, I guess, I guess just either feels presence or feel like I was like, am I falling in, and then I start moving like I'm going to fall.

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Isn't that amazing? Because it reveals to us our connection with between body, soul, and spirit, where if you're making a, if you're, if you're focused on something, your body's going to follow, you know, because your body starts believing and starts acting like whatever it is that you actually believe.

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So whatever it is that you, that you think you're doing, and then, because we're trying to get our soul, we're trying to get an anchor for our soul first for, to kind of like to, to start like sending our intention somewhere of like, okay, fall into the Lord, et cetera.

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But anyway, yeah, it's fascinating how our bodies will start responding.

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That's what mine did. In fact, I haven't made that post yet. I've been waiting for the right time for everyone to kind of like be in the right phase of the journey for me to post it.

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But there was, because otherwise it could just seem discouraging. And I mean it to come across as encouraging. And so I'm like, okay, I think that it's just because there's not enough safety that they feel that's built up.

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So they can't hear this other until they feel safe. And then this will come across as encouraging instead of like discouraging like, oh my word more work.

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But one of the things that is in that post is actually an old post from last year sometime where people were struggling with a part of their journey and, and I was just, and I was letting them know I was like, yeah, that feeling of death.

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That's normal. You know, and I, and I explained a story of, I told them a story of when that had happened to me and my body had started to react like it was going to die because my soul thought it was meaning my soul thought it felt like it was going to die.

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And so my body started responding to it, kind of like your whole idea that what you were talking about your body started falling when you were thinking about it.

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And so my body started acting like it was going to die, meaning like it wasn't really dying but my mind went there and my body started to panic and because it thought it was in danger, even though it really was it, you know, and it started responding

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like that and and all I did was I just I made the choice anyway.

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And God was asking me to let something go. This is even before he taught me about letting go.

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And all I knew is that he was telling me the thing I was holding on and holding on to and holding against him I had to stop that. That's all that I knew.

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And this is this is literally years before he taught me about letting go and shifting address. So I was just asking Lord I'm holding this before you what do I do with it and he said let it go stop holding it against me stop holding it is like a valuable

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part of your life that you are that you keep remembering, and then you keep holding against me that I've made your life so hard etc he said just let that thing go and I thought if I do I feel like I'm going to die.

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I feel like this is part of my survival, but as soon as in that. So anyway, my body started reacting like I was going to die and that it wasn't going to survive etc.

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And, but I fell anyway I was like okay God I choose you anyway regardless of the consequences, even if I physically die because that's what it felt like I'm doing it anyway and I'm just like, Lord, I, I, I let it go.

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I stopped holding this in my life.

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And as soon as I did everything in me went still, and everything shifted into rest it was I think the very first time I experienced that ever and I didn't even know what was going on.

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And later I had the, I gave me the words of like, you know, it's shifting into rest is shifting into that rest that I told you about in Hebrews four etc. At the time I didn't know all I knew was how my body was responding, etc.

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But, but anyway so you.

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So, your experience you're saying has been like trying to connect with the Lord and feeling like you can't connect with him right. Yeah.

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Yeah. So, so you said that you could the first time.

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Yes.

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So what happened the first time.

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Um, I imagine the Lord like coming into my apartment and then watched him, or, you know, him come sit down next to me and then just, yeah, it was just kind of immediate.

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Yeah, so they're there. For one thing that that was one of the things that I was going to suggest to people to do is, and that I listened to someone one time he used that as an exercise they said okay everyone closure.

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eyes and just ask Jesus to show you where he is in the room. So in other words, just imagine

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somewhere, you know, Jesus in the room somewhere, and then, and then just kind of see what he does

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or watch that he's actually inviting you to go with him somewhere. So take his hand and let him

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take you there or whatever. And that's how they kind of walked through their particular exercises,

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connecting with Jesus. So I would recommend that not even thinking about, okay, well,

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for Ashley, he came and he sat on the bed and whatever, for you, I would recommend just doing

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what I'm doing, just imagining him, just okay, just like, in other words, memorize your room,

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and then close your eyes, still picturing your room, and then just see Jesus somewhere. And who

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knows how, how he'll appear. I mean, he could appear in white shirt and blue jeans. He could

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appear in with, you know, his, his biblical robe and sash and, you know, or, or he could pick,

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you could picture him like, I don't know, like the guy on the chosen. I mean, who knows how

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he's going to show up to you. And then you just let him be himself and how he's revealed himself

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to you. And then just have an experience with them. Just allow yourself to, to, to,

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to not deny that and what you're imagining, not to deny it as reality and to just choose that

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that's reality. And so, and to choose that you have asked God, God says that he's with you all

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the time anyway. So you've asked him to give you a visual of it, and this is what you've got.

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So engage with what you've got. Okay. Lord, that's how you appeared me. That's how you

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reveal yourself to me. This is how you choose to come to me and show up like, okay, I'll engage

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with that. Now, now what, you know, and then you'll, you'll, you'll sometimes just look at him

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and there'll be something in you that'll change. It'll, you know, something I'll stir in your heart

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or he'll invite, or maybe he'll gesture to you and I'll hold out your, hold out his hand.

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And then you walk over to him, you know, and take his hand and then he takes you somewhere.

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He shows you something else. In other words, all of a sudden in your imagination, you start seeing,

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you start seeing a different scene, you know, we'll, we'll follow that. And just, just choose

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that you were in the presence of the Lord because you already are. So you're just trying to,

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in choosing that it's real and stopping denying it, then there's, it'll allow you to kind of,

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to engage with it and interact with it. And there'll be a way in which you'll sense

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the Lord more, but as opposed to trying to get a particular sense from him of like,

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oh, I want to feel loved or, okay, you know, this is, I thought this was a love exercise,

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you know, so here I am. And I'm just not, if we sometimes, if we decide what it is that we want

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to happen, it can, it can keep it from happening. So if that doesn't work, stop everything,

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stop the expectation, stop the requiring, even emotionally requiring an outcome. And then just,

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just go, just go to whatever agreement that you can make with something that God had said.

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Like in other words, okay, well, what is God said? You know, God says he loves me. Okay. Well,

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I'm having a difficult time with that. Okay. So what else has he said? Well, he says that he's

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always with me. Okay. Well, I'll close my eyes. Okay. Lord, just show me where you are. And then

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immediate, you know, give it a second, you know, and who knows, he might show himself sitting on

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your coffee table, or he might show himself like sitting right beside you. You might sense him

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that he's appeared behind you. And then, so in your imagination, you turn around and look at him,

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you know, I mean, you never know where he's going to show up, but then you don't have an expectation

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of like, what kind of an experience that you'll have with them? Will you feel his love coming

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towards you? You know, will you act, um, which is what I had talked about. I'm like, oh, you know,

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just feel his love. Well, you know, if that doesn't work for people, I recommend that,

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that release that, and no, not even expect that kind of an outcome. And then just like, okay,

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we're just, what is the Lord going to do? I had someone one time in, um, in the rest intensive

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series, you know, that we're watching the enter his rest one. I had a lady that was sitting in

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there who told me the experience she had when I told them about, you know, hey, this is the,

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you know, just to engage with the Lord and whatever she said, actually, it was so neat.

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She's fascinating. And you could tell by the way she was talking, she'd never had this type of an

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experience with the Lord. She was so excited. She's like, he came across like a field towards

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me. I closed my eyes and there he was coming across the field towards me. And he reached his

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hand out and I took his hand and he took me somewhere or he's like, come with me. I want

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to show you something. And well, I hadn't walked her through anything.

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of that, you know, I highly doubt that she'd ever had an experience where any with a, with a teacher,

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whatever that told her that she could expect something like that from Jesus, who knows,

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maybe she did, but knowing her to the degree that I did, I highly doubt it. Highly doubt that she'd

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had that. And that was what that was because she simply presented herself to God and be like, okay,

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God, how do, how do you want to show up? I'm just here and I'm believing that you're here.

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So now how, because I am agreeing with you that you're here. How, how do you want to show up?

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I'll receive you however you want to show up. So you just show me how it is. And you just watch it

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play out in your imagination and you receive whatever it is that he gives. And then your

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relationship with him will grow as opposed to, okay, God, I want to receive this from you or

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whatever. Also, this is really fascinating. One time I, um, and I'm not saying that you're doing

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this. I'm just kind of like expounding on this, on this subject. Um, and you never know when

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sometimes so often I just try to like, take something that someone says, and then I dress,

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try to expound on it. And what feels like to me is like this, like side note or like this bunny

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trail and come to find out it was actually the spirit prompting me to, to tell a particular

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story. That's helpful that you might need to know that I had no idea you needed to know.

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Um, one thing that happened to me and I had not thought about this in so long is when I was, um,

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is that I would go through times, especially right in the beginning. I really wanted to be

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feel loved. I really wanted to feel loved by God, really wanted to feel loved by Jesus because that

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was at the foundational core, something I was struggling with. And by the way, this was months

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before I made that choice that I talked to y'all about, you know, what I refer to in that, that

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writeup that I did called the ultimate choice, whatever this is months before then I'm like,

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just trying to barely step out in. I was feeling a lot of rejection from the Lord.

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And I was like at ground zero, I had no idea of who he was. And I was stepping out in bold faith

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that, okay, he says he loves me. So let's, let's put it to the test. And so I, I was, I would go to

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Jesus and I would want to feel loved, but what would happen is I was learning to see him in my

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imagination. So I was practicing that and practicing, accepting it as reality instead

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of rejecting it and denying that that was real. So anyway, I would close my eyes. And I remember

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one time I went to him, it was one of the first times that I began to practice seeing him in my

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imagination and, and choosing that that was actually real choosing to agree with God that

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he was present and that he, he, he was coming to me and all that. And I saw Jesus and he came

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towards me. And in me, I thought, I didn't think this in English, but in me, I desired, I strongly

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desired. And it was like, I was reaching out and trying to pull something from him. I wanted to

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experience being loved by him. And immediately when I did that, Jesus, who was a full grown,

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you know, size man in my imagination shrunk and he got really, really small.

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What have I done to Jesus? I knew I hadn't done something literally to Jesus, but I thought,

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oh shoot, I wanted to engage with Jesus. And when I try to engage with Jesus and he's coming

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closer towards me, he got really, really tiny. That's not how I wanted to engage with him. I

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knew that it was a response to me. I thought, what have I done? And so what God, what Jesus

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revealed to me is he, he, he showed me, he said, Ashley, he said, you were projecting onto me,

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what you wanted from me. He said, stop projecting onto me, what you're trying to pull from me.

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He said, just let me be who I am and let me show up as I am. And I asked that you receive that.

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I'm like, okay. So as soon as I did, he shot up big again, but it terrified me for a second. In

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fact, it happened twice. There was another time where, um, I, I saw Jesus sitting next to God,

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the father, I closed my eyes, you know, in order to, to imagine it. Um, and, uh, in order to make

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it easier for myself, cause again, I was learning, I was practicing and there was a, uh, there was

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Jesus standing there and I walked over to Jesus and, and he, and he held me like a husband would

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hold a wife. He held me like that, held me really close, really tight. In other words, it was really

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like, like intimate. It wasn't like a friend. It was like, no, you belong to me. And so he was

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holding me like that. And I think I, I thought again, I want to be, I want to feel loved by God.

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I want to experience it. So there was a way in which I was trying to.

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all from the experience and make the experience something in particular.

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And as soon as I did, he shrunk and then, and I shrunk too,

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because he's holding me. So both of us shrunk. It was like, honey,

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I shrunk the kids or something. Both of us got really tiny, but God,

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the father's still his full height, but both of us are really tiny beside him.

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And I did the same thing. I backed off. I stopped hugging him in this, in the,

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it's kind of, kind of weird. It was like there,

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it was me outside of myself. So I was still hugging God.

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He was still holding me.

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But then there was this part of me that popped out as the observer and like,

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what have I done? And, and I thought, man,

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I had this beautiful experience. God was, God was giving me, you know,

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himself in here. I have, I've messed it up. And again,

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that was back when I was, it was so easy for me to fall into condemnation.

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I still struggle with it every day. You know, I live this thing, you know?

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So that's why I teach it is I still live it. But the thing is back then it was so

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easy, so much easier for me to fall back into.

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It was more of a default than it is now. And so boom,

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immediately I went there. I'm bad. I've done something. God, I'm sorry.

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What have I done? And it just feeling like a worm. And of course,

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I was also a little terrified as well. Cause I thought, see,

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this is God's response to me. I've messed up. And this is how he responds.

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I'm really bad, you know? So anyway, I thought, what have I done?

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And then, and then God showed me, Ashley, you have tried to make,

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you've tried to create an experience of your own,

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your own made up experience. Um, so in other words, it's made up.

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Instead of just receiving me,

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you're trying to make me be something that I'm not.

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I want you to, I want to just show you who I am.

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It's not that he wasn't loved, but he, I was like,

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I was trying to make him make myself feel loved instead of

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allowing him to love me, which was very different.

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And so, um,

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it was like I was trying to create the experience instead of just receiving

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what he wanted. So anyway, I was like, okay, Lord, I'll stop doing that.

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And so I stopped doing that. I thought, okay,

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I just received God Jesus for who he is. And boom, he shot right back up.

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And then I was still small. I'm like, man,

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well, at least I fixed Jesus.

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And I was so upset. I'm like, I've just messed up this huge experience.

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But what Jesus did is he reached down and he picked me up and he held me

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again. But this time I'm like the size of a child on him.

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But the way he held me was if I was full grown.

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And like he was in the beginning where I was like,

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like a husband holding a wife or whatever,

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and then he's holding me really tightly. So he's holding me in the same way.

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Only I look like a child with my eyes, you know,

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feet dangling off the ground and whatever.

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So we held me back in the same hug and by and,

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and jet. And, um,

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anyway what happened is because I was allowing him to just be who he wanted to

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be with me. I grew to full height again.

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And so the rest of me filled out and I'm like, okay,

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because I am, I am just simply experiencing what,

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how God decided to show up and I'm just choosing to receive him as he chose to

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present himself.

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And so that's me loving God is receiving who he wants to give me of himself in

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that moment instead of what it is that I wanted.

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So I'm not saying that you're doing that is just something that popped into my

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head as we were talking. I was like, Oh, that's right.

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I had that experience and I'm just in case that's helpful. Um,

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because the thing is that what it is that you're experiencing in,

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in, in like not in where you're probably hearing me and other people talk about,

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Oh yeah, I've had that experience here and going, well, why not me? You know,

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well what's wrong. There's nothing wrong with you.

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It's there's a way in which you have been approaching life that you thought was

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required, but it's, but it's actually making it,

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um, uh, your, your adding steps. It's not that hard.

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It's not as much as you think is expected of you to bring to the situation.

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You don't have to work hard and bring all that stuff to the situation. You,

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that's not expected of you. You no longer have to carry that burden. Oh my word.

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Now what I need to do now, what do I need to be now?

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How do I have to position myself spiritually or emotionally or whatever to make

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myself just right in order for something to happen? You know,

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that's how we've been taught by the world.

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And so often what is actually rewarded in the professional world that we've,

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that we, there's always something that's expected of us.

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And in order to get an outcome, we have to bring effort, exertion,

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knowledge,

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experience to the table in order to get an outcome. And God saying, no, you need to be

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yourself. You need to choose that you're enough. And you coming into simply agreement with

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me that you're already there. We'll let you experience the there. So anyway, so I just

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wanted to encourage you with that. It's whenever we find some that something isn't working,

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it means that it's easier than what we're making this making it out to be. So we have

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to learn how we're making it. I don't want to say how we're making it harder. But what

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I mean is like, what it is that we are doing that actually we're free to not have to even

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do like that thing. But we don't even have to do that. We don't even have to feel that

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way. We don't even have to, I don't know, just whatever. And so anyway, what are your

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thoughts? Is any of that making sense at all? Or?

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Yeah, yeah, it makes sense. Like I was trying to either recreate the experience or tell

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him where he's at. So yeah, I guess it frees it hit, you know, Jesus up more to allow me

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to seek him instead of here you are, you know, so inviting. Yeah, that's more, more

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less expectations on me if I just start a conversation with them first.

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Yeah, it's a, you know, and just like you said, just start in conversation choosing

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that he's actually just really there. I mean, like, making how to put that. But anyway,

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just making the decision, okay, you know what, I'm not going to resist or deny or feel

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that it's fake or question the fact that he's there. It's it's, I just choose that that's

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what it is that I that I believe, you know, and that he says that he's here. Okay, Jesus,

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you know, I'm going to be talking to this chair. I mean, if you need to do that, you

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know, as opposed to like, if like, for instance, you're struggling to see him, give

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yourself an anchor point. He's just because he says he's everywhere anyway. Yeah, it's

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like, okay, God, I'm going to give myself an anchor point because I know that that

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because when I'm trying to allow you to show up wherever you are, I can't even like say,

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for instance, that you do this, and it doesn't happen, which I highly doubt. But if

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you struggle, like, I can't see him, I can't see him in the room. Why is me like

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showing himself in the room or whatever, you you give yourself an anchor point to start

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with and just say, God, this is the degree to which I can go in, in choosing that you

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are who you say that you are, you say that you're here. Okay, then I'm choosing that

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you're here. And I'm giving myself an anchor point of I'm imagining Jesus sitting in that

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chair right now. And that is who I'm talking to. So God isn't worried about us limiting

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him to being in the chair, because he's like, well, actually, I was by the door. The

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thing what he's excited about is he's like, you're choosing to believe him, you're

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choosing to find him, you're choosing to have faith in him to the degree that you can.

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Like, okay, God, I don't I, for whatever reason, I'm not actually seeing you show up

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just kind of like anywhere. So I'm going to have to figure out what can I do? Okay, I'm

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going to I believe that you exist, I believe that you are present with me. And I'm going

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to give my soul an anchor of putting you there. And so I'm going to engage with it, you're

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really just kind of like helping yourself, helping your soul, which is trying to find

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an anchor, you're just giving it an anchor. And then you are using that to help to help

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give direction to your faith. But you're having fit but what it is that you're doing by

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doing that is you're agreeing with God, God, you say that you're present. So what would I

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do if I believed that? I would talk to you about these things, I would engage with you,

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you know, just whatever. Because what it is that you're doing in that situation is you're

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choosing him, you're choosing that he said that you're choosing that he meaning you're

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choosing himself, like God, you are important to me. And and what are some of the things

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that you've said use about yourself, you say that you're present, you say that you've

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never that you're always with me, you say that you're one with me, whatever. So grab

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a hold of whatever it is you can, and begin to engage with that, act on that faith. And

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the faith will build, because you'll be experiencing with God, his truth that he really is there,

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you'll start to actually your feelings will start to change. And it will seem more logical

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to you, when you had to start out without the logic without the feelings, because they

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weren't, you know, getting on board. When you actually begin to choose it of your own

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free will to come into agreement with

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God said, then it's putting the new it's, it's putting the new man in charge and your new man

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will change your, um, your logic and your, and your beliefs. In other words, your feelings,

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because your soul will begin to come more into alignment with what the, uh, with what the, uh,

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new man is saying is true. And your new in the, in your soul is what is that, uh, is what is

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telling you all of that doesn't sound logical, you know, or, you know, I don't think we believe

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that. And we don't feel like that. We feel like we're making it up and whatever. If you choose

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your spirit over what your soul is terrified of or what it doesn't believe, if you continually

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choose that over your spirit will eventually win and your soul will start to believe it.

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It, it, all of it's, it's, um, warring against the spirit will stop and it'll begin over time

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to over, over time. It could be within five minutes. It could be, it could be within 60

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seconds. It could be within a few days, you know, whatever, eventually though your soul,

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because you're continually choosing your spirit over your soul, your soul will change and it'll

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realize, huh, no, this seems more real than it did yesterday. So I'm coming to believe it. I'm

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coming to more logically think it's true. Um, you know, I did read a scripture the other day that

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seems to, to indicate that, you know, I'm not really sure, but you know, it'll start coming

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around. So, um, anyway, is that helpful at all? Yeah. Yeah. I do feel like the more engaged,

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the more I'm believing it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So is there anything, um, about that or anything

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about something else that you have like questions on or that you're running into like hurdles or

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or anything? No, it's just, I guess, creating that margin. Like I love the community this time

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and like, just, isn't it a lot more fun? It is. I know I tell everybody, everyone loves it. It's

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so much fun. Yeah. And I like your, your posts in between too. So just go ahead. I'm glad those

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are helpful. Yeah. Yeah. That's important for me to know because then I'll continue. I know that

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that's whatever people are finding helpful and encouraging is what I want to continue to

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implement. So that's good to hear. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know why I don't have questions.

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I just, um, well, that's fine. Well, like, um, how are you, um, uh, how are you feeling about

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the process and in going through the process? Like, are you, are you, um, uh, do you feel that

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you are, I don't know. Um, well, the word, the word just escaped me, but do you feel,

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do you feel frustrated? Do you feel like, Oh no, you know, I'm, I'm okay with,

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with how this is developing between me and the Lord. I can see how things are developing.

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Um, I mean, so how's all of that going? Cause everyone's at different phases. Some people in

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here are very, they're, they're good. They're like, okay, yeah, I'm seeing the progress,

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me and the Lord, we're just working through these things. And other people are just,

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as you can tell from their posts, they're very frustrated. They're at the part of their journey

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where they're just based on their background and their things with the Lord. They're just,

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I'm running there at the part of the journey where they're just think like, Oh, what if I'm the one

403
00:33:41.360 --> 00:33:48.160
person who doesn't get, I'm like, everybody gets it. Don't worry. Yeah. Yeah. I do have that kind

404
00:33:48.160 --> 00:33:55.600
of in the back of my head, you know, the, am I gonna, you know, fail again. And, and when you

405
00:33:55.600 --> 00:34:02.320
did that post about you releasing, and then you just have hopelessness. I was like, Oh, is that,

406
00:34:02.320 --> 00:34:07.920
I think that's where I was headed. Um, because you know, I did the rest and I felt changed and I felt,

407
00:34:09.040 --> 00:34:14.320
you know, a lot lighter. I didn't feel burdened at all. And, um, but then,

408
00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:19.199
And when was that in the mini one that you did or in this one?

409
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:24.239
No, no, no. The mini one from before. Yeah. And then I got to the point where I was like,

410
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:29.199
I'm crashing and burning. And I was like, what happened, Lord? I thought, you know,

411
00:34:29.199 --> 00:34:35.679
you gave me this job and I, I don't understand, but I do understand because I wasn't engaging

412
00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:42.560
him. Like I stopped engaging after, you know, I just got busy and not, you know, choosing him,

413
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:49.920
even though I was busy. Yeah. I don't think that'll, I mean, I don't want to say that it'll

414
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:54.239
never stop because I can't keep this up. I can't keep working these hours. And

415
00:34:55.120 --> 00:34:58.240
how many hours are you working out of curiosity? Um,

416
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.000
It's, it's easily 40 by the time I'm done with Thursday so Friday.

417
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:15.000
I was like I'm leaving early have my appointment so, but I feel like I need to get back on.

418
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:24.000
You know, and then the weekend comes and, you know, I guess last weekend.

419
00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:38.000
Yeah, last weekend I was like, starting to feel that anxiety like I got to do some, at least an hour or two but then it just, it just ruins my night I feel like getting on.

420
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:48.000
And then I was like no Lord I'm choosing that I don't have to and then, you know, it. I was so glad that it went away. Yeah.

421
00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:51.000
Good. Yeah, so.

422
00:35:51.000 --> 00:36:01.000
Yeah, easily 11 hours a day I guess so that's okay. Yeah, in there, then that don't want to do it again.

423
00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:06.000
I don't want to do it again and.

424
00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:14.000
Well, I hope you probably haven't gotten a chance to watch it. Have you gotten a chance to watch the video that I did today the lives that I did.

425
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:28.000
Okay, I was gonna say I only did it like a couple of hours ago or something. And but hopefully that will be helpful because what I tried to do was I was just sensing where everyone kind of was in the, in the process right now.

426
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:33.000
I wanted to encourage everyone to just.

427
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:51.000
And this is, you know, partly based on your, your post that you did the journey sharing where you were mentioning that you know when choosing yourself that just kind of like really affected you know kind of like, I think you said you know just really rendered

428
00:36:51.000 --> 00:37:10.000
you know, like, well, she's got the main one. And, and so hopefully this hopefully this will the one that I did will help, because I talked about the fact that when a year before I made that choice to fall to just like, okay, God, I finally let everything

429
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:35.000
go. And I choose you over my lifestyle, you know, and all that. Everything started when I finally abandoned trying to be good.

430
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:37.000
That I was good.

431
00:37:37.000 --> 00:37:55.000
In other words that I wasn't as bad as I thought that I was that I chose that the desires within me were from a good place. They were from a good heart that was excited about life that had dreams and things that I wanted to do.

432
00:37:55.000 --> 00:38:10.000
So the very first dream that I ever had before the Lord that I that I presented to the Lord after I made that decision. The first dream that I had was I told the Lord and I remember exactly where I was sitting when I told him this.

433
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:13.000
I said, and I said God.

434
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:34.000
I'm just letting you know that my that the dream that I am now working towards right now is to move to London and live in London for a while. And, and I just didn't feel like I could dream, or even dream, something like that, present it to the Lord, and

435
00:38:34.000 --> 00:39:02.000
most of all, I didn't feel like I could begin working towards it. In other words, preparing but taking steps towards it.

436
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:07.000
I mean, my life wasn't a mess but I felt like I was in torment.

437
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:16.000
And so I decided to, I decided to, to change. And as soon as I did as soon as I told the Lord that.

438
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:29.000
And this was since I told the Lord that Lord, that's a dream and I'm actually working towards it. I plan I'm telling you I'm just informing you Lord, I plan to do it.

439
00:39:29.000 --> 00:39:34.000
And, and I wasn't mean about it I was just telling him yes but what I'm going to do.

440
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:38.000
I'm telling you what he got so excited.

441
00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:49.000
My, the spirit in me just rose up and just like came to life. And I remember sitting there in my rocking chair thinking, that's where you were.

442
00:39:49.000 --> 00:40:00.000
You were in my dreams. You were in the things that I wanted. You're in, you were in me just being me without being spiritual, where I'm just like.

443
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.880
got some, got excited about some aspect of how I could live life, or I get excited watching how

444
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:10.640
other people live life and how they have a particular type of experience. And I pick

445
00:40:10.640 --> 00:40:17.360
which types of experiences sound really exciting. You mean that you're in that, you mean that, that,

446
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:23.840
that I can find you by going inside of me and seeing all of the good and beautiful, exciting

447
00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:28.720
things that bring me joy. That's where you were. You were in all the things that brought me joy.

448
00:40:29.600 --> 00:40:36.640
I was shocked. I was like, you mean that I have been in pursuit of you. I've been avoiding you.

449
00:40:36.640 --> 00:40:42.720
I've been stifling you trying to find you thinking that surely you weren't that good.

450
00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:49.200
So if I was feeling that amount of like goodness and excitement and, you know, and joy and

451
00:40:49.200 --> 00:40:54.560
exhilaration, that, that apparently wasn't you because you're in all the hard things.

452
00:40:55.440 --> 00:41:04.480
So anyway, that was dramatic for me. And, and then all of a sudden I began to explore all kinds

453
00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:10.640
of things. Now I, and God gave me a safe place in which to do it, in which to explore, because I'm

454
00:41:10.640 --> 00:41:17.520
a baby. I'm just learning how to make decisions. So he gave me a safe, he provided a spiritual

455
00:41:17.520 --> 00:41:26.640
environment for me to safely be exposed to things and to try things, just trying to discover who am

456
00:41:26.640 --> 00:41:35.120
I and who is God and what does God approve of? So I got curious and I, and I decided, and I,

457
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:42.160
and because not being curious my whole life hadn't served me well, hadn't got me anywhere

458
00:41:42.160 --> 00:41:46.240
with the Lord. So I'm like, okay, let's try the other, let's try being curious then.

459
00:41:46.240 --> 00:41:53.120
Let's try, in other words, you have to, the only way that a child, they say, or how do I explain

460
00:41:53.120 --> 00:41:59.280
this? They did a test on children that were like really, really young and they took different,

461
00:41:59.280 --> 00:42:03.760
they took them, children from different environments, children that were from a very

462
00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:09.280
safe, healthy home environments with parents, people, and then children that were like orphans.

463
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:15.200
And we're talking like little ones. We're talking like, I don't, like maybe toddlers, maybe younger

464
00:42:15.200 --> 00:42:20.000
than toddlers. I mean, they were really little and they would put a toy that they'd never seen

465
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:26.480
in front of them and it, and they would, and they would observe him and they would notice that with

466
00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:32.720
the, that there would be other people in the room when, when they would, like other adults who were

467
00:42:32.720 --> 00:42:38.800
doing the testing or whatever, and they would watch the child and to see how the child responded. And

468
00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:44.880
they, the, the children that felt safe, in other words, the children that had grown up in a healthy

469
00:42:45.120 --> 00:42:53.040
environment, like we would with the Lord is what God would desire and want, how we would feel in

470
00:42:53.600 --> 00:43:01.440
being raised by the Lord. We should be curious. And the children that grew up in a feeling safe

471
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:08.160
in their home environment, ignored the parents and all of the people around them. And they were

472
00:43:08.160 --> 00:43:14.160
fascinated by this new toy because they could expand because their energy wasn't being expended

473
00:43:14.160 --> 00:43:22.880
in, am I safe? And, and how are, and, and how are all of these people interacting and interacting

474
00:43:22.880 --> 00:43:29.440
with me and what's going to happen? And I need to be ready. They, they felt completely safe that

475
00:43:29.440 --> 00:43:34.960
never crossed their mind. And so the, so they had all of the energy to expend on exploring a new

476
00:43:34.960 --> 00:43:39.760
toy. Oh my word, that's so much fun. And all this curiosity and all this discovery, and let's see

477
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:44.240
if it does this and let's see what happens when we do this. And, you know, and then eventually,

478
00:43:44.240 --> 00:43:48.720
you know, all kinds of things can happen with those toys. I mean, it falls on the ground, you know,

479
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:54.560
you know, it's your, in your, in other words, there's some consequences to your action, but

480
00:43:54.560 --> 00:43:58.960
what does the parent do when the, when the toy falls on the ground, the parent picks it up for

481
00:43:58.960 --> 00:44:09.120
the 77th time, you know, picks it back up because the child it, so the parent is bearing the weight

482
00:44:09.120 --> 00:44:14.080
of the consequences of the kid's actions, because the kid is just trying to figure out the world.

483
00:44:14.080 --> 00:44:20.640
Well, what happens when I do that, you know, et cetera, you know, um, and we'll, what happens if

484
00:44:20.640 --> 00:44:24.720
I do it like this? Oh, well, it doesn't roll anymore. Okay. Well, so if I do it like this,

485
00:44:24.720 --> 00:44:30.240
Oh, finally it rolls, you know, and you're just messing with it. And it's only the children that

486
00:44:30.240 --> 00:44:35.840
feel safe. That can be curious. Then they watch the kid, the kids who were orphans, the little

487
00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:40.560
kids. Oh, it was just heartbreaking. They, they wouldn't play with the toy. They wouldn't touch

488
00:44:40.560 --> 00:44:46.560
it. They wouldn't look at it because they're too busy watching. And they didn't look terrified.

489
00:44:46.560 --> 00:44:50.880
They did look anxious though. You know, just kind of like little stressed, like,

490
00:44:52.240 --> 00:44:57.120
well, what are you all doing? What's going to happen? And I mean, these are little kids,

491
00:44:57.120 --> 00:44:59.840
little, but they had been taught by experience.

492
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.720
and by abuse and by separation.

493
00:45:02.720 --> 00:45:05.800
Even sometimes it wasn't abuse, it was just separation

494
00:45:05.800 --> 00:45:07.840
and feeling alone and isolated

495
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:11.400
to be very aware of their surroundings

496
00:45:11.400 --> 00:45:13.200
because they weren't sitting so that

497
00:45:13.200 --> 00:45:15.000
that didn't leave them safe enough

498
00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:16.800
to be able to explore their world.

499
00:45:16.800 --> 00:45:19.880
So they weren't as healthy like socially

500
00:45:19.880 --> 00:45:24.880
and like being able to learn, et cetera

501
00:45:25.920 --> 00:45:27.720
because too much of their energy

502
00:45:27.720 --> 00:45:29.840
was spent on self-protection.

503
00:45:29.840 --> 00:45:32.240
So it's the same way between us and the Lord

504
00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:37.240
is when we aren't exploring and being curious

505
00:45:37.560 --> 00:45:42.560
and discovering and just dadgum trying something new

506
00:45:42.560 --> 00:45:44.840
or even like trying to allow ourselves

507
00:45:44.840 --> 00:45:48.080
to feel something new or to dream,

508
00:45:48.080 --> 00:45:50.360
it means we don't feel safe.

509
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:54.120
It means we're constantly looking at God,

510
00:45:54.120 --> 00:45:56.720
at our circumstances because God's not protecting us

511
00:45:56.720 --> 00:45:59.200
from our circumstances, it's what we think.

512
00:45:59.200 --> 00:46:01.560
And God himself isn't safe.

513
00:46:01.560 --> 00:46:04.840
We never know what the next thing is he's going to do to us

514
00:46:04.840 --> 00:46:06.040
or how he's going to respond

515
00:46:06.040 --> 00:46:07.320
or what he's going to require of us

516
00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:08.400
or when he's going to be mad

517
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:10.120
or how he's going to stop talking to us.

518
00:46:10.120 --> 00:46:12.200
And our fear of that separation

519
00:46:12.200 --> 00:46:13.560
of that lack of communication,

520
00:46:13.560 --> 00:46:17.360
that lack of interaction takes all of our energy.

521
00:46:17.360 --> 00:46:19.320
And so we're always working towards

522
00:46:19.320 --> 00:46:21.680
either trying to get a connection

523
00:46:21.680 --> 00:46:25.080
or trying to maintain it when we find it.

524
00:46:25.080 --> 00:46:27.080
So there's no energy left

525
00:46:27.200 --> 00:46:30.360
and there's no focus to be able to explore

526
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:31.960
and to be excited,

527
00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:36.880
but growth happens when people are curious.

528
00:46:36.880 --> 00:46:38.920
Growth happens not just in the brain,

529
00:46:38.920 --> 00:46:42.360
but actually in our life experience

530
00:46:42.360 --> 00:46:45.160
when we are curious about something

531
00:46:45.160 --> 00:46:48.800
and we actually step out and try the new thing to see,

532
00:46:48.800 --> 00:46:50.600
well, what happens when I do this?

533
00:46:52.120 --> 00:46:56.960
And so anyway, I have discovered that my life,

534
00:46:57.840 --> 00:47:00.600
when I chose to believe that God was so good,

535
00:47:00.600 --> 00:47:04.840
that I was safe with him being curious.

536
00:47:04.840 --> 00:47:06.200
In other words, that God was so good

537
00:47:06.200 --> 00:47:08.800
that he would provide a protective and safe environment

538
00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:10.880
in order for me to be curious to discover

539
00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:12.720
what did God create in the world?

540
00:47:12.720 --> 00:47:15.400
What experiences are out there to have?

541
00:47:15.400 --> 00:47:17.520
What could I choose to do?

542
00:47:17.520 --> 00:47:19.880
Me and God together, what could I choose to do?

543
00:47:19.880 --> 00:47:21.720
And if I couldn't hear God's voice

544
00:47:21.720 --> 00:47:23.840
because I was struggling back then to hear his voice,

545
00:47:23.840 --> 00:47:26.000
particularly about anything good,

546
00:47:26.040 --> 00:47:28.160
I felt that I could hear his voice about all the bad things,

547
00:47:28.160 --> 00:47:30.400
but come to find out a lot of that was just,

548
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:32.320
I don't know, Satan or me or something.

549
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:35.560
But anyway, I couldn't hear his voice about good things.

550
00:47:35.560 --> 00:47:38.040
So I had to choose that his voice

551
00:47:38.040 --> 00:47:41.240
was actually the good things that I wanted to do

552
00:47:41.240 --> 00:47:42.760
that brought me excitement,

553
00:47:42.760 --> 00:47:45.520
that brought me joy, that felt good.

554
00:47:45.520 --> 00:47:46.800
Not the things that,

555
00:47:46.800 --> 00:47:50.080
not the evil things that I wanted to do to protect myself.

556
00:47:50.080 --> 00:47:51.480
And that made me feel good.

557
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:53.000
I'm not talking about that kind of feel good.

558
00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:55.240
I'm talking about that stuff that brings you life,

559
00:47:55.320 --> 00:47:58.040
that makes you feel like the world's just open

560
00:47:58.040 --> 00:47:59.160
and that the world's big

561
00:47:59.160 --> 00:48:01.800
and that God actually does love you and all of that.

562
00:48:01.800 --> 00:48:03.600
When I stepped into those things,

563
00:48:03.600 --> 00:48:06.840
I actually put myself and risked myself

564
00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:08.800
by putting myself out there and saying,

565
00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:10.760
okay, God, I believe you're this good,

566
00:48:10.760 --> 00:48:12.160
so I'm gonna do this.

567
00:48:13.080 --> 00:48:14.840
And God would prove, yeah,

568
00:48:14.840 --> 00:48:16.920
I actually delight in you being that way.

569
00:48:16.920 --> 00:48:18.400
I delight in you doing that.

570
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:19.720
I delight in whatever.

571
00:48:19.720 --> 00:48:22.640
So he proved to me by my experience

572
00:48:22.640 --> 00:48:25.440
that he really was as good as he said that he was.

573
00:48:25.440 --> 00:48:28.400
But he can tell me he's good all he wants,

574
00:48:28.400 --> 00:48:30.720
but unless I step out and experience it,

575
00:48:30.720 --> 00:48:32.920
I'm not actually believing it.

576
00:48:32.920 --> 00:48:36.000
I have to actually act on it.

577
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:38.400
Like, okay, I'm here, God, you say it.

578
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:40.080
So I'm gonna put my money where my mouth is.

579
00:48:40.080 --> 00:48:41.400
I'm gonna put my own skin in the game.

580
00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:42.880
I'm gonna risk it.

581
00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:44.400
And here I am.

582
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:46.120
You know, I choose to believe,

583
00:48:46.120 --> 00:48:49.480
I believe God truly, not because I want to.

584
00:48:49.480 --> 00:48:50.640
I truly believe God.

585
00:48:50.640 --> 00:48:53.200
I'm choosing that you were this good.

586
00:48:53.200 --> 00:48:54.240
I'm a little scared

587
00:48:54.240 --> 00:48:57.400
because it doesn't seem like that that's true by experience

588
00:48:57.400 --> 00:49:00.240
because I felt like I've been slapped before, et cetera.

589
00:49:00.240 --> 00:49:03.000
But this gets me excited.

590
00:49:03.000 --> 00:49:05.560
And I think that you're telling me

591
00:49:05.560 --> 00:49:07.400
that you were in all of those things

592
00:49:07.400 --> 00:49:08.280
that bring me excitement.

593
00:49:08.280 --> 00:49:09.120
So here I am,

594
00:49:09.120 --> 00:49:12.080
and I'm actually making the exciting thing

595
00:49:12.080 --> 00:49:13.640
happen in my life.

596
00:49:13.640 --> 00:49:16.720
So, and then you see how God responds to you

597
00:49:16.720 --> 00:49:19.520
because the whole point isn't you living life different.

598
00:49:19.520 --> 00:49:24.360
The whole point is what you are experiencing

599
00:49:24.360 --> 00:49:26.560
about God himself.

600
00:49:26.560 --> 00:49:29.720
How will you stepping out and doing these things

601
00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:31.120
and choosing these dreams

602
00:49:31.120 --> 00:49:35.240
and choosing to believe that life is big

603
00:49:35.240 --> 00:49:38.280
and that the things within you that you want to do are good

604
00:49:38.280 --> 00:49:40.800
and that he delights in you when you're doing them.

605
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:43.600
Then that is, if you're choosing them

606
00:49:43.600 --> 00:49:48.600
because your higher value is not to live life how you want,

607
00:49:48.920 --> 00:49:50.600
but rather you're choosing that,

608
00:49:50.600 --> 00:49:54.920
no God, I'm choosing this because I believe you are so good

609
00:49:54.920 --> 00:49:57.680
that you like when I feel this way.

610
00:49:57.680 --> 00:49:59.880
You like this thing that makes me feel.

611
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.440
really good. That makes me feel light up inside and I'm going to step out in it.

612
00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:06.280
And I choose that you, that, that, that you're, um,

613
00:50:06.320 --> 00:50:10.200
that that's an expression of what it is that you delight in. Um, and,

614
00:50:10.240 --> 00:50:14.320
and that is what made me feel safe with God. And I did that.

615
00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:17.840
And I'm not saying that this is going to take you that long, because remember,

616
00:50:18.840 --> 00:50:22.480
I didn't have anybody to teach me these things.

617
00:50:22.800 --> 00:50:27.160
And so therefore I just kind of had to, I had to figure it out. I was like,

618
00:50:27.360 --> 00:50:29.520
you know, what's going on. So for me, it took,

619
00:50:30.760 --> 00:50:35.400
uh, I don't know. I did this for about 10 months before I made that quote,

620
00:50:35.400 --> 00:50:37.200
unquote, like ultimate choice and whatever.

621
00:50:37.480 --> 00:50:40.480
But remember that the point at which I made that ultimate choice,

622
00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:45.480
I was so many challenging things had happened.

623
00:50:45.480 --> 00:50:49.560
I'd had so much victory. Oh my word. I was on cloud nine. I thought, Oh my word,

624
00:50:49.560 --> 00:50:52.000
I'm having so much fun in life. This is so great.

625
00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:57.200
But then some things started happening and, um, like, uh, and, uh,

626
00:50:58.080 --> 00:51:02.480
uh, and then I began to challenge beliefs that I had

627
00:51:02.880 --> 00:51:07.920
about how much God wanted to take care of me. I was like, well, you know,

628
00:51:07.920 --> 00:51:09.320
I don't think he wants to take care of me that much.

629
00:51:09.320 --> 00:51:12.680
I also don't think he's safe that much. And so God's like, okay,

630
00:51:12.680 --> 00:51:14.240
then now we're going to deal with that.

631
00:51:14.560 --> 00:51:19.200
But the thing that got me to that place was the 10 months of,

632
00:51:19.520 --> 00:51:23.320
of stepping out and what it is that I wanted and choosing that if I couldn't

633
00:51:23.320 --> 00:51:27.720
hear God's good God's direction to do something exciting and good,

634
00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:29.720
I couldn't hear like good, nice, fun,

635
00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:32.840
beautiful life giving instructions from him.

636
00:51:33.080 --> 00:51:36.680
I was just kind of like shut off. I couldn't hear it. And I'm like, okay, well,

637
00:51:36.680 --> 00:51:39.240
if I'm trying to hear God, where else might he show up?

638
00:51:40.240 --> 00:51:44.240
And then he says that I am good. And that, um, uh,

639
00:51:44.280 --> 00:51:48.640
and so that he created me as a beautiful thing with beautiful desires.

640
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:52.680
And so I'm going to act on those and choose that those are his words,

641
00:51:52.680 --> 00:51:56.200
that those are his direction, that that's his like, I don't know,

642
00:51:56.200 --> 00:52:00.200
instruction or invitation or whatever. And, um,

643
00:52:00.240 --> 00:52:03.680
so I chose all of those exciting things like, Oh my word, God,

644
00:52:03.920 --> 00:52:06.440
you created something like that as a possibility.

645
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:09.520
I think that that's really cool. And I think you made a really good,

646
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:12.960
that you, uh, created a really good thing there.

647
00:52:13.400 --> 00:52:17.200
And so I fully appreciate it. And so I'm going to experience it.

648
00:52:17.640 --> 00:52:22.120
I mean, experience the cool thing that X that you designed,

649
00:52:22.440 --> 00:52:23.920
because you thought it was a good idea.

650
00:52:24.360 --> 00:52:27.760
So I'm going to show my appreciation for it and get involved in that thing.

651
00:52:27.800 --> 00:52:32.320
Like I wanted to move to London, which I ended up not because God, um,

652
00:52:32.360 --> 00:52:33.200
actually,

653
00:52:33.320 --> 00:52:37.520
I feel like the life that I've lived since then has been better than if I had

654
00:52:37.520 --> 00:52:40.840
moved to London. I began to travel all over the United States,

655
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:44.720
including multiple countries, um, in, um, uh,

656
00:52:45.160 --> 00:52:49.800
last year around the world. And I look back on it. Oh my word.

657
00:52:50.080 --> 00:52:54.800
So much more fun than living in London at the time.

658
00:52:54.800 --> 00:52:57.400
That was the height of my dream. I want to be able to live in London,

659
00:52:57.760 --> 00:53:01.080
but that's, that was the limit of what it is that I felt I could experience.

660
00:53:01.080 --> 00:53:02.800
That was the most, which I could dream.

661
00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:07.400
And it felt like a huge dream that I was like throwing at God and saying, Hey,

662
00:53:07.400 --> 00:53:10.320
by the way, this is what I'm going to do. And I'm not asking for permission.

663
00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:13.760
I'm just telling you, you know, that, Hey, this is, this is what I think,

664
00:53:13.760 --> 00:53:16.600
you know, you, you put in me, that's good. Um,

665
00:53:17.200 --> 00:53:19.320
so I really recommend doing that.

666
00:53:19.600 --> 00:53:22.560
And I don't think it's going to take you 10 minutes or anything. I'm just,

667
00:53:22.640 --> 00:53:24.960
it took me 10 minutes. Cause I didn't know where I was going.

668
00:53:25.480 --> 00:53:28.800
All I knew was what wasn't working. So I was just trying something new.

669
00:53:29.240 --> 00:53:30.120
And so it took,

670
00:53:30.120 --> 00:53:33.920
and God took me on this long journey of figuring out where on earth I was going.

671
00:53:33.920 --> 00:53:38.440
And finally, you know, a year later, he said, by the way, it's rest, by the way,

672
00:53:38.440 --> 00:53:41.200
that's what this all means. And this is,

673
00:53:41.240 --> 00:53:45.960
this is what you've been doing and this is how you've been shifting into rest.

674
00:53:46.360 --> 00:53:49.320
But you didn't know it. So this is how you've been doing it.

675
00:53:49.320 --> 00:53:52.440
Now that I'm giving you the words for what you've lived and what you've been

676
00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:55.960
doing now, go show other people how they can live like that.

677
00:53:56.520 --> 00:54:00.680
So a lot of what I'm teaching people of like how to, how to, um,

678
00:54:00.720 --> 00:54:03.560
shift into rest is what I, um,

679
00:54:03.600 --> 00:54:08.360
that learned and experienced during that time where I was just so open and

680
00:54:08.720 --> 00:54:10.440
before I even made that ultimate choice,

681
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:11.880
it was just like,

682
00:54:11.880 --> 00:54:16.840
I'm choosing to believe that God is so good that he

683
00:54:16.840 --> 00:54:21.840
made me good, you know, and that the things I want are good. And, uh, I w I,

684
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:25.680
even did it to such an extent that I thought, okay, you know, if before,

685
00:54:25.680 --> 00:54:28.240
maybe I wouldn't allow myself to watch Netflix,

686
00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:30.960
but I just felt like watching a movie right now.

687
00:54:31.520 --> 00:54:35.360
And before maybe I would have thought it was lazy to do it at such and such a

688
00:54:35.360 --> 00:54:37.560
time or whatever. And I just,

689
00:54:37.720 --> 00:54:41.480
and what I would do in order to, to prove to my,

690
00:54:41.520 --> 00:54:45.480
in order to step out in faith, that God is who he says that he is,

691
00:54:45.480 --> 00:54:48.320
that it has got good, that he is that good. I'm like, okay,

692
00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:49.520
this is what I want to do.

693
00:54:50.360 --> 00:54:55.320
And so I am going to do it and experientially put myself

694
00:54:55.400 --> 00:54:59.960
in the place to prove to myself how God responds to me.

695
00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:03.440
when I act on what I want.

696
00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:06.540
And that's a bit of an extreme example,

697
00:55:06.540 --> 00:55:08.840
but it's not an extreme example,

698
00:55:08.840 --> 00:55:10.160
but what I mean is like,

699
00:55:10.160 --> 00:55:12.200
it's like something daily that we could think of

700
00:55:12.200 --> 00:55:13.960
as like lazy or whatever.

701
00:55:13.960 --> 00:55:18.440
But I thought I had to be very radical with myself

702
00:55:18.440 --> 00:55:19.480
and the choices that I made,

703
00:55:19.480 --> 00:55:24.480
because my unbelief was so entrenched in me

704
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:28.880
that I had to do some very drastic things

705
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:33.880
in order to break my belief of God from that mindset.

706
00:55:36.080 --> 00:55:37.960
And so anyway.

707
00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:40.360
So was it, I mean, when you say the Netflix things,

708
00:55:40.360 --> 00:55:42.800
is it basically like,

709
00:55:42.800 --> 00:55:45.560
so in your mind that would be a negative thing,

710
00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:47.340
but you're like, well, God's that good.

711
00:55:47.340 --> 00:55:49.360
I should be able to experience him in that too.

712
00:55:49.360 --> 00:55:51.840
Is that what you're trying to say?

713
00:55:51.840 --> 00:55:55.880
It means that I can do it.

714
00:55:55.880 --> 00:56:00.360
And while I'm doing it, God, isn't thinking badly about me.

715
00:56:00.360 --> 00:56:04.520
He's delighting in the fact that I am delighting

716
00:56:04.520 --> 00:56:08.160
in something in an experience that he created.

717
00:56:08.160 --> 00:56:10.720
Because God is the one who created the possibility

718
00:56:10.720 --> 00:56:13.480
of something like Netflix or the experience of the fact

719
00:56:13.480 --> 00:56:16.840
that I could sit in my living room

720
00:56:16.840 --> 00:56:21.520
and watch entertainment that's on a flat screen.

721
00:56:21.520 --> 00:56:22.760
And I find that fun.

722
00:56:22.760 --> 00:56:24.080
I find that enjoyable.

723
00:56:24.080 --> 00:56:26.640
And so I desire to give myself that experience tonight

724
00:56:26.640 --> 00:56:28.320
and make myself popcorn and da, da, da,

725
00:56:28.320 --> 00:56:32.240
as opposed to reading, spending time with God,

726
00:56:32.240 --> 00:56:33.080
do all of these things.

727
00:56:33.080 --> 00:56:34.360
This is what I want to do.

728
00:56:34.360 --> 00:56:37.000
So I am doing this not to let myself

729
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:38.840
do something I want to do.

730
00:56:38.840 --> 00:56:40.880
I am doing this to prove to myself,

731
00:56:40.880 --> 00:56:42.840
to choose something I want to do

732
00:56:42.840 --> 00:56:47.840
and choosing that me doing this is that God is delighting

733
00:56:49.640 --> 00:56:53.320
in me basically to prove to myself

734
00:56:53.360 --> 00:56:54.880
that I'm doing something that God had said.

735
00:56:54.880 --> 00:56:56.800
God said, Ashley, I'm that good.

736
00:56:56.800 --> 00:56:58.560
Ashley, I love you.

737
00:56:58.560 --> 00:57:02.600
And I enjoy the fact that you find this thing

738
00:57:02.600 --> 00:57:04.720
that I could, this experience that I created

739
00:57:04.720 --> 00:57:06.000
as a possibility.

740
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:08.520
I enjoy the fact that you appreciate it.

741
00:57:08.520 --> 00:57:11.200
And I'm appreciating the fact that you're enjoying it.

742
00:57:12.040 --> 00:57:16.720
Basically I use those experiences to prove to myself

743
00:57:16.720 --> 00:57:19.680
that by putting my, by thinking, okay,

744
00:57:19.680 --> 00:57:22.200
if God, if I really do believe that God is,

745
00:57:22.200 --> 00:57:26.400
if God is as good as he says that he is, how would I act?

746
00:57:26.400 --> 00:57:29.720
And so I began to put myself in those situations.

747
00:57:29.720 --> 00:57:34.720
And so anyway, in order to, like I said,

748
00:57:35.200 --> 00:57:40.200
put myself in a situation where I experienced the fact

749
00:57:41.960 --> 00:57:44.880
that he was delighting in me while I was doing it

750
00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:46.840
as opposed to thinking badly about me.

751
00:57:46.840 --> 00:57:49.360
So I couldn't think badly about me.

752
00:57:49.400 --> 00:57:52.920
I had to love and accept me while I was there

753
00:57:52.920 --> 00:57:55.920
and then just enjoy the fact that he was enjoying me

754
00:57:57.160 --> 00:57:58.520
doing the thing,

755
00:57:58.520 --> 00:58:01.040
that he was enjoying the fact that I was enjoying it.

756
00:58:01.040 --> 00:58:03.040
That's why I would do those things.

757
00:58:03.040 --> 00:58:06.240
It wasn't like, oh, I'm gonna, if God's good,

758
00:58:06.240 --> 00:58:09.840
if God's this good, he'll let me get away with this.

759
00:58:09.840 --> 00:58:11.360
That's not the exercise.

760
00:58:11.360 --> 00:58:15.160
It was, no, I am choosing to do something I want

761
00:58:15.160 --> 00:58:20.080
because I am putting myself in a situation, Lord,

762
00:58:20.080 --> 00:58:24.760
where I will experience the fact that you are,

763
00:58:24.760 --> 00:58:27.480
that you delight in me no matter what I'm doing.

764
00:58:28.840 --> 00:58:31.120
So I'll put myself in a situation where normally

765
00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:33.360
I'd feel bad about what I was doing.

766
00:58:33.360 --> 00:58:34.800
Yeah, I get it.

767
00:58:34.800 --> 00:58:36.440
Yeah, it's that kind of a thing.

768
00:58:38.440 --> 00:58:42.000
So, but yeah, hopefully that live that I did

769
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:45.080
will be a couple of hours ago will be helpful.

770
00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:48.720
But anyway, but it's along those lines.

771
00:58:48.720 --> 00:58:53.400
So before we go, did you have any other questions or?

772
00:58:53.400 --> 00:58:57.680
No, no, I love that I need to start exploring

773
00:58:57.680 --> 00:59:00.560
and be curious and not just sit on the couch

774
00:59:00.560 --> 00:59:01.760
waiting for an experience.

775
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:05.800
So yeah, no, I needed all of this.

776
00:59:05.800 --> 00:59:07.360
I appreciate it, yeah.

777
00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:08.200
Good.

778
00:59:09.200 --> 00:59:14.200
I have, I've been feeling that whenever I see you,

779
00:59:15.080 --> 00:59:16.800
this is always what I think.

780
00:59:16.800 --> 00:59:21.080
I feel, and it's took me a while to figure out what it was.

781
00:59:22.520 --> 00:59:25.080
What I picture is that you are,

782
00:59:25.080 --> 00:59:27.200
as if you're in a straight jacket.

783
00:59:27.200 --> 00:59:29.640
That's how I always see you when I see you.

784
00:59:29.640 --> 00:59:31.160
But here's why.

785
00:59:31.160 --> 00:59:34.200
It's because you're restraining you.

786
00:59:34.200 --> 00:59:37.120
It's not because, so in other words,

787
00:59:37.120 --> 00:59:42.120
you have permission by God to do the things

788
00:59:42.800 --> 00:59:43.640
that you want to do,

789
00:59:43.960 --> 00:59:45.880
to love what it is that you want to love,

790
00:59:45.880 --> 00:59:48.880
to love what's coming out of you, to be.

791
00:59:48.880 --> 00:59:51.920
And so I don't say that to discourage you.

792
00:59:51.920 --> 00:59:55.960
I say that to encourage that the restrictions

793
00:59:55.960 --> 00:59:57.640
that you're putting on yourself,

794
00:59:57.640 --> 00:59:59.640
you no longer have to put on yourself.

795
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.720
now can live unrestrained and, but that can feel very unsafe because restrain.

796
01:00:08.720 --> 01:00:14.540
If you grew up like me, restrain is your safety and restrain is where you were

797
01:00:14.540 --> 01:00:19.400
called what I thought in my mind that I was called by God and other people.

798
01:00:19.660 --> 01:00:20.160
Good.

799
01:00:21.100 --> 01:00:29.620
If I restrained, I got, I felt safe, but so it can feel very unsafe to be

800
01:00:29.620 --> 01:00:33.880
exposed, come very unsafe to no longer be this small.

801
01:00:34.720 --> 01:00:38.340
So anyway, I just say that as an encouragement of it.

802
01:00:38.340 --> 01:00:43.580
So when you said, when you wrote that post of, um, you know, I finding it

803
01:00:43.580 --> 01:00:48.440
harder to choose myself than to choose God, I'm like, exactly, I was like,

804
01:00:48.440 --> 01:00:53.460
that's exactly what I've been picturing is like this, this self restraining.

805
01:00:53.840 --> 01:00:59.040
And, um, anyway, so I, so that's why I've just been feeling so

806
01:00:59.040 --> 01:00:59.880
very strongly.

807
01:00:59.900 --> 01:01:00.400
Okay.

808
01:01:00.680 --> 01:01:02.940
She doesn't need to, it's not God.

809
01:01:02.940 --> 01:01:04.300
She's needing to choose right now.

810
01:01:04.560 --> 01:01:09.620
She's needing to choose that, that, um, that she is good.

811
01:01:10.180 --> 01:01:14.280
She's needing to see and love and fully accept herself, allow

812
01:01:14.280 --> 01:01:16.140
herself to experience herself.

813
01:01:16.580 --> 01:01:21.280
Stop avoiding herself, stop avoiding, you know, what it is that she's feeling

814
01:01:21.280 --> 01:01:22.980
or that she shouldn't feel that way.

815
01:01:22.980 --> 01:01:28.500
Or I don't care if it's anger, I don't care if it's fear.

816
01:01:28.720 --> 01:01:33.900
I don't care like fully, fully accept your.

817
01:01:34.400 --> 01:01:38.760
Whatever feelings come up, whatever beliefs come up, because

818
01:01:38.760 --> 01:01:40.920
you're not your feelings.

819
01:01:41.200 --> 01:01:43.040
You're not your beliefs.

820
01:01:43.600 --> 01:01:45.420
So your feelings are telling you what it is.

821
01:01:45.420 --> 01:01:47.640
You believe you aren't even your beliefs.

822
01:01:48.080 --> 01:01:50.760
So you cannot believe God, or you could believe God.

823
01:01:50.900 --> 01:01:52.320
That is not who you are.

824
01:01:52.440 --> 01:01:56.460
That's just what you're believing because who you are is your spirit and your

825
01:01:56.460 --> 01:01:58.800
spirit always believes your father and all of that stuff.

826
01:01:59.160 --> 01:02:02.220
So in other words, you're already there.

827
01:02:02.280 --> 01:02:07.560
There's no, there's no potential destruction that you need to

828
01:02:07.560 --> 01:02:09.320
be restraining yourself from.

829
01:02:10.240 --> 01:02:19.200
Like you can't, you're, you are, um, you are a vessel and a spirit that is meant

830
01:02:19.200 --> 01:02:25.320
to bring powerfully, bring love and healing and joy.

831
01:02:26.260 --> 01:02:30.300
You're not something that you need to be protected from and that you

832
01:02:30.300 --> 01:02:31.920
need to protect other people from.

833
01:02:33.180 --> 01:02:40.060
So you just, so I just encourage and invite you to open and it can feel scary.

834
01:02:40.820 --> 01:02:46.260
I feel very, very scary, but choose yourself, choose yourself first.

835
01:02:46.260 --> 01:02:51.220
And by that, I mean, accept yourself fully and completely, regardless of

836
01:02:51.580 --> 01:02:55.060
anything negative that comes up, anything ugly, anything you don't like.

837
01:02:55.580 --> 01:02:57.140
You know, anything that you're afraid.

838
01:02:57.140 --> 01:03:02.300
God's not going to like God is big enough to handle the tantrums.

839
01:03:02.380 --> 01:03:09.220
He's big enough to handle the, whatever he needs you to accept you fully with

840
01:03:09.220 --> 01:03:13.460
the tantrums, with the fear, with the negative emotions and all of that.

841
01:03:13.660 --> 01:03:14.740
He's not afraid of it.

842
01:03:15.980 --> 01:03:19.700
He, regardless of whether you're expressing it, it's in there anyway.

843
01:03:19.700 --> 01:03:22.700
And he's just like, he's just like, you're fine.

844
01:03:22.780 --> 01:03:23.740
You're fine with me.

845
01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:28.800
So let it all out, face who it is that you are, and then, and then love

846
01:03:28.800 --> 01:03:31.360
yourself completely, because it's only when you love yourself

847
01:03:31.360 --> 01:03:32.800
completely, that it'll go away.

848
01:03:33.760 --> 01:03:34.880
The fear will go away.

849
01:03:34.880 --> 01:03:38.160
The anger, all those things that you quote, that you quote, unquote, you

850
01:03:38.160 --> 01:03:41.600
know, don't like about yourself, even though remember, we just talked, said

851
01:03:41.600 --> 01:03:44.840
the fact that it's not you, but that's how we talk is, oh, I don't like this

852
01:03:44.840 --> 01:03:49.680
about myself, about your soul or about your body, they will, they're staying

853
01:03:49.680 --> 01:03:53.240
there because they think that they're needed in order to protect you.

854
01:03:54.640 --> 01:04:01.200
So if you fully, because they feel like your spirit is, and this is what I

855
01:04:01.200 --> 01:04:06.560
explained in the video, you're, they feel that, that your spirit is something

856
01:04:06.560 --> 01:04:11.480
that it's afraid of that, um, uh, that it needs to be afraid of because it

857
01:04:11.480 --> 01:04:13.560
feels it doesn't feel safe with your spirit.

858
01:04:14.280 --> 01:04:18.800
So what your spirit, what I invited people to do in the, in the, um, in the

859
01:04:18.800 --> 01:04:26.240
live is that to present your spirit to your soul and your body and allow your

860
01:04:26.240 --> 01:04:32.060
soul and your body to just be who it is that they are, because the spirit is

861
01:04:32.060 --> 01:04:36.320
telling the soul and body, Hey, look, just like God is for me, I'm going to

862
01:04:36.320 --> 01:04:38.460
provide for I'm your provider.

863
01:04:38.460 --> 01:04:39.480
I'm your protector.

864
01:04:39.720 --> 01:04:40.540
I keep you safe.

865
01:04:40.540 --> 01:04:43.940
I keep you secure all this work that you're doing to protect yourself.

866
01:04:44.260 --> 01:04:47.100
You don't, you weren't meant to have to do all of that.

867
01:04:47.160 --> 01:04:48.660
You were meant to do other things.

868
01:04:48.860 --> 01:04:53.820
You were meant to be free to explore and to simply enjoy who it is that you are.

869
01:04:54.260 --> 01:04:57.820
You weren't meant to have to provide for and protect yourself.

870
01:04:58.340 --> 01:05:00.020
So I will do that for you.

871
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.640
if you'll be safe with me. Well, what the soul and the body are going to do is it's going to push

872
01:05:04.640 --> 01:05:08.240
those. It's going to test those boundaries. It's like, Oh, you say that. How? Yeah. Well,

873
01:05:08.240 --> 01:05:11.680
what about this? And what about this in me? And what about this in me? And all those things are

874
01:05:11.680 --> 01:05:15.840
going to start coming out because like a kid, it's going to start testing the boundaries.

875
01:05:15.840 --> 01:05:19.120
It's like, Oh, I know that that's not true. And I'm going to prove it. I'm going to show

876
01:05:19.120 --> 01:05:22.560
you this about me and I can show you this about me and all that's going to come up.

877
01:05:23.200 --> 01:05:28.640
And it wants to prove to it and your soul, your spirit needs to prove to your soul and your body

878
01:05:28.640 --> 01:05:34.720
that it is undeterred and unthreatened by what comes out of your soul and your body.

879
01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:41.280
I was like, that's fine. It's like, I still love you. I still protect you. I fully accept you.

880
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:48.640
Never changing. I fully accept you the way that you are. And I do not require you to change.

881
01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:54.960
That's extremely bodily important for your spirit, which is perfect. And who you are

882
01:05:54.960 --> 01:06:02.160
to fully accept all of yourself, but the negative emotions and the unbelief against God and the,

883
01:06:02.160 --> 01:06:06.320
anything else that's in there, all of the trauma, all the wins, whatever, to fully accept who you

884
01:06:06.320 --> 01:06:14.000
are not record and to fully love and to receive yourself without ever requiring yourself to

885
01:06:14.000 --> 01:06:20.800
change. And it's really wild because that is what your soul and your body will need in order to have

886
01:06:20.800 --> 01:06:27.280
in order to prove to themselves. Okay. So you mean it. So I've thrown everything,

887
01:06:27.840 --> 01:06:35.440
including the kitchen sink at you and you're undeterred. You weren't your identity. Your

888
01:06:35.440 --> 01:06:40.240
sense of identity wasn't threatened by all of these negative things that you saw.

889
01:06:41.120 --> 01:06:47.360
You didn't shift into thinking, Oh my word, I really am bad. I I'm, I'm my soul. I am all

890
01:06:47.360 --> 01:06:53.840
these feelings. I am all these unbeliefs. You didn't. And the soul's like, Oh, so I guess that

891
01:06:53.840 --> 01:06:59.760
if I'm throwing everything at you and I couldn't scare you, you must be more powerful than me.

892
01:07:01.680 --> 01:07:07.440
Therefore you really can provide for and protect me. And you provided me a safe place to be an

893
01:07:07.440 --> 01:07:12.080
absolute mess and didn't require me to be any different. You didn't slap me. You didn't judge

894
01:07:12.080 --> 01:07:16.240
me. You didn't tell me I shouldn't be like this and I should be different. And that's very important

895
01:07:16.240 --> 01:07:23.360
to not require of ourselves that we be any different than what we are for that way. That

896
01:07:23.360 --> 01:07:29.520
is the only way that it will finally feel safe enough. That's providing it a safe environment

897
01:07:30.080 --> 01:07:35.920
to accept it fully and never require it to change that it will finally feel safe enough to let it

898
01:07:35.920 --> 01:07:41.920
go, to let go of the fear, to let go of, you know, the, the anger, to let go of the wounds, to let

899
01:07:41.920 --> 01:07:49.680
go of whatever it has to be accepted with them and all of their ugliness in order for it to know

900
01:07:49.680 --> 01:07:56.480
that it's safe enough to let them go. But if it's not safe with our spirit, with all of its

901
01:07:56.480 --> 01:08:00.400
negativeness, you know, with all of the soul and the body and all of its negativeness that our

902
01:08:00.400 --> 01:08:04.320
soul and our body depth feel rejected. And they're like, well, that I'm really not going to leave

903
01:08:04.320 --> 01:08:09.520
them because I'm keeping all of these for myself protection. And if I'm not safe from you or safe

904
01:08:09.520 --> 01:08:14.320
with you, with all these things, I definitely don't trust you without them because there are,

905
01:08:14.320 --> 01:08:19.279
there are shield. So we have to prove that it really is safe enough for them to come out of

906
01:08:19.279 --> 01:08:25.200
hiding for them to finally let all of those things go. So that's what I would recommend for you

907
01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:33.920
is that the life that you are giving yourself to yourself, you know, the experience that you're

908
01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:38.479
giving yourself on my word, I've got to be small. I've got to, I can't do this and I need to make

909
01:08:38.479 --> 01:08:43.920
sure to do this. And, you know, and why can't I have this and I'm in lack and whatever is actually

910
01:08:43.920 --> 01:08:53.840
not what God has given you. And it's not who it is that you are. And you are, you're everything

911
01:08:53.840 --> 01:09:01.680
that you've wanted to be. And you're more than, you know, that you are. So anyway, is that helpful

912
01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:07.439
at all? Yeah, definitely. I'm learning how to accept myself because I was like, how do I do

913
01:09:07.439 --> 01:09:15.359
that? Do I just say affirmations? But I, yeah, no, I understand better now. Yeah. Okay. And then

914
01:09:15.359 --> 01:09:20.640
hopefully, hopefully the live will help, but, and then I would just ask the Lord, Lord, you know,

915
01:09:20.640 --> 01:09:28.000
help, help me to shift into that. I'm also going to be posting, and I mentioned this in the live

916
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:34.720
and, but it was on my computer, so I need to find it, that I'm going to be posting something that

917
01:09:34.720 --> 01:09:41.120
you can, of how to talk to your spirit, soul, and body. So it can begin to transition

918
01:09:41.920 --> 01:09:45.760
while you're subconscious. I mean, it's subconsciously while you're, while you're

919
01:09:45.760 --> 01:09:54.160
asleep or whatever. And because it can begin to shift without you, just by giving it instruction

920
01:09:54.160 --> 01:09:58.560
without you having to micromanage it and know what it is you're believing and it'll begin to shift.

921
01:09:58.560 --> 01:09:59.840
So it kind of gives you.

922
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.840
bit of an anchor point of how to begin to, to interact with the different, your, the different

923
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:09.920
dimensions of who you are, you know, spirit, soul, and body. So hopefully that'll be helpful as well.

924
01:10:09.920 --> 01:10:13.920
So, which I need to do right after this class, I need to go find that and post it.

925
01:10:14.480 --> 01:10:21.840
That sounds exciting. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, well, um, it was good to get to visit with you

926
01:10:21.840 --> 01:10:26.560
and you be sure to let me know if you have any, if you have any questions, I'm absolutely insistent

927
01:10:26.560 --> 01:10:30.880
that nobody gets left behind. You know, I want to always check in with everyone, make sure that

928
01:10:30.880 --> 01:10:36.080
they have what it is that they need. So, um, you know, if you're, if you're struggling with

929
01:10:36.080 --> 01:10:39.920
something, if you're wondering, okay, how do I, how do I make progress? Or you're just feeling

930
01:10:39.920 --> 01:10:45.360
discouraged or whatever. Um, I, you know, a lot of that just needs to be processed between you

931
01:10:45.360 --> 01:10:50.320
and the Lord, because being convinced by me, isn't going to fix anything, but at the same time,

932
01:10:50.320 --> 01:10:58.240
you're not alone. So I want people to, um, to feel. Um, that they can, and, uh, to feel that

933
01:10:58.240 --> 01:11:03.520
they can reach out when they're struggling, because that's what the rest intensive is about.

934
01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:09.440
It's about me helping people live it, not helping them learn about it and not helping them learn

935
01:11:09.440 --> 01:11:16.400
about how to shift and arrest, but actually help them live the thing. So, um, so anyway,

936
01:11:16.480 --> 01:11:21.760
so you just let me know. Okay. Good to visit with you, Rita. You too, Ashley.

937
01:11:21.760 --> 01:11:28.960
By the way, this recording will be on your page. So if you scroll all the way to the bottom of

938
01:11:28.960 --> 01:11:34.400
rest intensive members, um, I have to wait for this to download and all of that. I have to wait

939
01:11:34.400 --> 01:11:39.840
for this to download. My computer is telling me it's about to shut down. Uh, but, uh, when I do,

940
01:11:39.840 --> 01:11:46.160
I'll get it uploaded in just FYI, when you click on your, so probably by this, by this evening,

941
01:11:46.160 --> 01:11:51.680
if you go down to the bottom of the rest intensive members page on enter as rest.com,

942
01:11:51.680 --> 01:11:58.320
enter his dot rest, then click on your name and it'll take you to a page that where I'll be

943
01:11:58.320 --> 01:12:04.000
housing all of your, um, transformation session recordings. So this is, this is, it'll be

944
01:12:04.000 --> 01:12:11.920
accessible. So, all right. Well, good to visit with you. Thank you. Bye night.