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I'm going to go ahead and turn it over to Ashley.

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How are you?

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I'm good.

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How are you?

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Doing good.

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What are you up to these days?

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Besides working very long hours into the weekend.

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Yes.

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I don't think I want to do that anymore.

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Good for you.

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I've been there, done that.

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I don't think I want to do that anymore.

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I'm sorry.

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I understand the pressure to do that,

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whether it's from other people or just internally.

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I'm sorry.

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They added more to my plate.

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How can I have more?

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I don't understand.

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I'm sorry.

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Is your boss already left?

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I don't think so.

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I was like,

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you need to do what you need to do.

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She got her sister back on.

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I think she's wanting to stick it out a little longer.

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I just assumed the other position was a promotion.

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I don't know how to put it.

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It's just too much for one person.

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Everything they keep adding to me.

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I'm like,

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no.

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I don't remember.

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What do you do?

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Accounts payable.

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I'm supposed to be leading this team now.

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It's not organized.

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Today,

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the thing that set me off,

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or shoved me over the edge,

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I could feel myself getting anxious.

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She basically told me to leave.

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To leave the company?

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I don't know.

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She was like,

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you can go make more money somewhere else.

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Look how they're doing you.

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She said this off the cuff.

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Before she told me how much other people were making,

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I was like,

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I don't know.

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Then she's like,

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here you go.

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Here I got promoted as a lead.

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They did skip a step.

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I should have become a senior before I went to lead.

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I missed a whole paycheck in between.

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It's chaos.

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I'm sure they would give me more money there.

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It's chaos.

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I don't thrive on that.

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You said you started to get anxious,

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because you were concerned,

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because it sounded serious?

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I was like,

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I don't know.

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She's complaining.

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I'm like,

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Laura,

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why are you still staying?

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She wanted me to leave too.

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Everybody leaves.

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I'm like,

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I don't know.

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When they hand me something,

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I'm like,

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we'll see when that gets done.

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I'm happy for you that you've come up with another goal for yourself.

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I don't know when you're going to get it done.

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I'm sorry.

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I don't know when you're going to get it done.

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I'm like,

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I don't know when you're going to get it done.

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She's encouraging me.

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So I'm like feeling rejected or like, you know, she doesn't want

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My negative mind goes to,

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to be here. If she's here, I'm gonna be here. You know, yeah,

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yeah. And then I was like, maybe I failed. And she's like,

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doesn't want to mentor me anymore. And I'm not. Yeah.

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No, I don't know.

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A heart for you. And just I don't know. So, but anyway, I'm

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glad that you've got someone over you that you enjoy so much.

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That's a really big deal. Because I've had, because I'm

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all I'm trying to think of all the people that I've had over me

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were people that I ended up. But you know, that I liked, and I

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think so I had some people who were more challenging than

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others. But I think that I, I, you know, just made the best of

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it. And always found, always found something about them that

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I just really enjoyed, and connected with that. And before

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long, you know, we were, you know, good buds and, and

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whatever. So it really makes a huge difference. Yeah. Well, so

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how's the journey going overall? Like, I know that you've taken

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another mini rest intensive, and now here's like a bigger one. In

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other words, it's like, more immersive, I try to build more

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of a more of a community, stronger, you know, interaction

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and provide opportunities for more, for more, like mentoring

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and that kind of thing. And so in it all, I'm wanting to make

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sure that people are getting the, you know, what it is that

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they're looking for that they're getting the questions answered

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that they're looking for, I don't want them to feel like

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they have to do alone, because that's kind of the whole point

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of the rest intensive is, hey, you don't have to do it alone.

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So I like to check in with everybody and see how they're

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doing. So just how's, how's the the journey going? Do you have

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anything that you want to bring up to, you know, talk about or

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where you feel kind of like a hang up or a, you know,

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threshold, you can't seem to figure out across or just where

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are you?

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Um, yeah, I feel like, well, I don't know, if I'm really in

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rest, or if I'm just like, I mean, I do feel like excited. I

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mean, besides today, I really haven't been anxious or and

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I've been able to let go of work in like, just walk away.

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Yeah, yeah, that. Yeah. I mean, before I started rest,

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definitely, it was unusual, because I would be like, okay,

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I'm watching TV, let me just get another hour in an hour, get

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in. I was like, but there's still more work to be done. And

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then I wouldn't sleep because I'm like, well, if I can't

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sleep, let me go work. So I get up. Yeah, another couple hours

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in the middle of the night and start working. And I'm like,

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alright, and then I ended up breaking like this, you know, I

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guess the sleep got to me and yeah, and then just the

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expectations. And yeah, but I mean, so I do feel I've gained a

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lot this time around. But I'm like, am I am I going stagnant

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again? And that's how I feel. Like, did I fall off the horse

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already?

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There's no right or wrong. It's just where someone is. So what

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is it that maybe you are that you have been hoping for, and

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don't feel like you have yet that you haven't under either.

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I was gonna say that you don't have an understanding of and by

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that I don't just mean like, you could talk to me about it, you

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know, understanding I'm talking about like, you've you've owned

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it and you started to live like that. And you've, you know,

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decided that this is what you want to do, so to speak between

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you and the Lord, etc. And is there is there something that

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maybe is there something that you don't quite have, that you

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are wanting to have? How in other words, do you want your

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life to be different than it is right now?

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We're just going to talk through that.

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Yeah, I mean, I do feel like the Lord brought me to this place

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and to this, you know, new job. And like, I feel finally that

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I'm not struggling paycheck to paycheck. But I'm like, Lord,

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there's got to be more than this. I mean, this is what I was

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saying earlier. Like, I'm not struggling paycheck to paycheck.

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I'm like, Lord, there's got to be more than this. I mean, this

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is what I was saying in my old job to like, or my

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old type of work. There's got to be more than this. There's got to be something else that I can

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be doing besides this thing. And what do you mean something else you could be doing besides it? Like

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what do you mean doing? Like, like, are you talking about a hobby or a totally different job

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or a different, you feel different, you feel more hopeful when you wake up in the morning?

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Like what, what area are you talking about that you feel like, oh, surely there's more than this?

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Um, definitely a hobby or a different job. Yeah. And both of those, but I'm like, do I really need

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a job? Um, I'm trying to, well, that's how I got what to do. What I'm doing now is I was in my other

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job. Actually I was in multiple other jobs before this and I thought, this is it. No, this is,

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I was very good at all of those jobs. So it's not like I wasn't, I wasn't succeeding. It wasn't that

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I wasn't appreciated and you know, and that my work wasn't valued. Um, it was just that I was

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just like, you know, this is, it didn't satisfy, it didn't satisfy what it, um, uh, it didn't satisfy

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what I felt like I was made for. And like, there was more in me, almost like I just felt like there

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was more life in me that I wasn't living. Someone's calling me, which is so strange, but anyway,

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um, uh, but, and I just felt that there was more. And so I just kept presenting things before the

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Lord and kind of like started to dream a bit like, well, if I could do something else, what would I

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do? And eventually I left corporate in order to do a business consulting and then doing that,

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um, in person, you know, in brick and mortar, like walking into locations, I eventually ran into

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problems where I was, um, and, uh, ran into some business issues with the owners of the,

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of the contract that I had. And, um, and then I thought, okay, well, if I could make this better,

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in other words, you know, if I could live more like, oh, I want to live, what would that look

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like? And I thought, well, it would be to work from home. It would be to have be, um, you know,

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actually that was my first thing. I want to be able to work from home. Then once I started working

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from home all the time, and this is obviously pre COVID once I began to work from home all the time,

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um, it was like, I wanted more than what I was doing. And so I just began to kind of explore

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inside myself. Well, what would I want? What would that look like? And anyway, so I just kind

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of evolved, you know, my ideas just kind of evolved what I tried and, um, what I tried,

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you know, just kind of evolved. And eventually this is what I've ended up doing. And so this

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is actually what I wanted to do if I could do anything. And that is to mentor people spiritually

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online on my own time. So I'm literally doing exactly what I wanted to do. Now. It took me a

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while to kind of like get there, but part of the way, part of the reason why it took me a while to

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get there is yeah, there's timing. The Lord is in like, he's like, well, actually you need to be

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prepared to be able to do that. But also there's this, so, you know, I need to take you through

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preparation, but also there was this part of that preparation was actually, you know, who do you say

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that I am? Do you really believe that I'm that good, that you're that, that what it is that you

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want matters and that you are honest enough with yourself of what it is you want. And then you give

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that to me and you present that to me and you'll do whatever it is that I say to do. And you stop,

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you know, kicking and screaming about it. Every time I tell you, I want you to do something

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different than you want to do. So you submit yourself to me, but you also, but you also

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present your actual self. You can't submit yourself. If you don't, if you don't have something

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to submit, in other words, have something to give. So in other words, I had to want things.

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And so he's like, want things, they're not bad. I just want them to not be more important than me,

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but wanting something is good. It's honoring who it is that you are. And, and there's an aspect

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about wanting things. It's kind of like in the spiritually, you know, for us as, as adults,

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that is similar to how a child grows up physically, where they, they play, they just become curious

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and they try to discover different things in the world. And so they just kind of mess around with

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things.

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I wonder what happens if I do this, I wonder what happens if I do that.

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And that's one of the things that, that we do when we are trying to figure out.

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Our own desires.

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And we're kind of like looking inside of ourselves instead of looking out in the

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world, like a kid does, and, oh, okay, well, this is this deaf elephant.

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Well, what happens if I do this with it?

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What happens if I do that with it and they're playing, but they're out here,

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but our desires are that thing, but inside, and so we just kind of play around with

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them, what about, you know, if it looks like this and what about if it looked

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like that and, you know, does, does, would this make me happy or do I think this

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would be fun or, okay, well, what are the ramifications of making that decision?

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Like, in other words, would it mean that I would have other things in my life that

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I really don't want, and that wouldn't be worth me doing this other thing, or I

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don't know, you just kind of like play around with it, but be, but enjoy the

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playing around, enjoy the, enjoy the kind of the, the dreaming, the daydreaming of

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it, and that is part of a step in, in stepping out in faith, in the Lord to

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face yourself honestly, because you're not, in other words, to not be afraid of

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yourself and then to see what's in there.

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And then part of that, seeing what's in there is you trying to figure out what

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is it that you really want, because sometimes we come across something that

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we think we really want, and after we kind of explore it or really after a

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while, we realized, no, that's really not what I want, but what I actually liked

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about it is this particular piece, but I don't have to do this whole thing just

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to have this piece, I can do this other thing that's a lot more fun and have this

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piece.

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So anyway, that's part of what you do is you just kind of like play around.

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And I've actually been encouraging someone else in the group.

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I'm trying to remember, I'm always very, hold all those things in confidence, but

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so I'm trying to remember if they said it, if they said it on a post, um, yet,

231
00:17:01.820 --> 00:17:07.940
and well, I can tell you this, that I talked to somebody like in the old rest

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intensive, like two years ago about this.

233
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And they were, in fact, they made a post about it.

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Like again, to, well, it may not have been two years ago that they made a post about

235
00:17:21.700 --> 00:17:25.300
it may have been like more like a year and a half ago, but anyway, the thing is

236
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that I was, uh, working, they were talking about the fact that, and they

237
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wouldn't mind me telling you this part.

238
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I know I'm well enough to know that they would, that they would freely

239
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give you this information.

240
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They, um, were struggling with the fact that they used to love what they did.

241
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And then, um, oh, well, I forgot.

242
00:17:43.140 --> 00:17:44.740
She's, she's already said who she is.

243
00:17:44.740 --> 00:17:47.780
So I can tell you, uh, it's Lori, Lori Jess.

244
00:17:47.820 --> 00:17:50.420
Remember she actually just recently did a live.

245
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I didn't know if you've been on, um, on the rest intensive today, but she posted

246
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a live today, Lori did, and, uh, about, um, about the fact that, you know, she

247
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was struggling this past weekend and really an unrest and, and, and a lot of

248
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anxiety, and then she walked her soul through healing and just kind of submitting

249
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itself to the spirit and it calmed right down.

250
00:18:14.020 --> 00:18:15.740
And she's like, oh my word, this is just amazing.

251
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And of course she knew how to do that because of course, you know, we've, um,

252
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I've walked her through all of that kind of thing before.

253
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And so she remembered.

254
00:18:23.580 --> 00:18:24.940
And so she's like, yep, that's right.

255
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That's what I need to do.

256
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I need to be, you know, controlled my own soul anyway.

257
00:18:28.220 --> 00:18:29.820
So that was what her live was today.

258
00:18:29.820 --> 00:18:33.540
So that's the lady anyway, year and a half ago, she made, she made a post

259
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about the fact that I had talked to her.

260
00:18:36.620 --> 00:18:41.380
She'd reached out because she, um, did photography and she's a very good

261
00:18:41.380 --> 00:18:45.460
photographer and she started doing it when she was young.

262
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I think she was even in high school.

263
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I don't even think she was 18 yet.

264
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Anyway, people recognized her talent and they started hiring her.

265
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Well, she did it just for fun.

266
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She just loved it.

267
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And then people started hiring her and she's like, oh my word, I can't believe

268
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that people are hiring me for something that I just love to do.

269
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This is great.

270
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You know, this way to live life.

271
00:19:04.500 --> 00:19:05.780
So anyway, she's doing stuff.

272
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And, and then over time, the demands of other, of, of the

273
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clients started getting to her.

274
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In other words, she wants to please people.

275
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You start to get so used to pleasing people by what you're do naturally that

276
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you start to focus on the fact that they're pleased.

277
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So if they're not pleased, you think, oh, well, what do I need to

278
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change in order to make them please?

279
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And so before long you transition over to, okay, what do I, what do my customers

280
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want, and then start dictating your actions based on what it is that you

281
00:19:40.180 --> 00:19:42.780
believe that, that will, will sell.

282
00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:46.740
Well, you believe how you believe that what you believe you can market.

283
00:19:47.260 --> 00:19:52.220
And she said that she noticed that the joy just went out of what she did.

284
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She didn't find it fun anymore.

285
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She found it a drudgery.

286
00:19:54.540 --> 00:19:56.300
She found that she was like dreading it.

287
00:19:56.660 --> 00:19:59.500
She's like, I used to love this what's going on.

288
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.160
And I said, and so we talked through it.

289
00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:05.360
And I told her, you know, what it is that you,

290
00:20:05.360 --> 00:20:07.240
that I just mentioned to you.

291
00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:09.360
And she's like, well, how do I get out of that?

292
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And I said, well, what I recommend is I said,

293
00:20:11.240 --> 00:20:12.840
you need to find you again.

294
00:20:12.840 --> 00:20:13.960
Oh, that's what the thing was.

295
00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:17.280
She was finding that she was, her creativity was stifled.

296
00:20:17.280 --> 00:20:20.040
She couldn't, she couldn't,

297
00:20:20.040 --> 00:20:23.360
she was struggling to come up with like creative things.

298
00:20:23.360 --> 00:20:26.840
And, and she's very creative and she was struggling.

299
00:20:26.840 --> 00:20:29.080
And so I said, cause she's wondering,

300
00:20:29.120 --> 00:20:30.400
what should I do to spark it?

301
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:34.520
I said, you need to forget about what other people want.

302
00:20:34.520 --> 00:20:37.680
And you just need to step out in faith

303
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:42.120
and in what the fact that the Lord created you

304
00:20:42.120 --> 00:20:44.520
good and valuable and significant,

305
00:20:44.520 --> 00:20:45.880
and that you have a contribution,

306
00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:49.640
that your spirit needs to express itself.

307
00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:54.160
It's true, very, very unique self into the earth

308
00:20:54.160 --> 00:20:58.240
because you are what God provided to the earth,

309
00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:00.240
to the family around you, et cetera.

310
00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:02.760
And so you were what it needs.

311
00:21:02.760 --> 00:21:06.360
So you have to give it what it needs, which is yourself.

312
00:21:06.360 --> 00:21:09.520
So you have to, you have to focus on, on that.

313
00:21:09.520 --> 00:21:11.760
And because that's what it is that they need,

314
00:21:11.760 --> 00:21:15.720
not what they think they need, but God got,

315
00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:18.640
they said that they presented their needs to the Lord.

316
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:20.640
And of course the Lord knows what it is that they need

317
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:21.840
because he created them.

318
00:21:21.840 --> 00:21:23.360
And so he gave them her.

319
00:21:23.360 --> 00:21:25.440
So it's like, so you just being you

320
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:26.600
is what it is that's needed.

321
00:21:26.600 --> 00:21:28.960
So find you again.

322
00:21:28.960 --> 00:21:31.080
And so she was wondering, well, how do I do that?

323
00:21:31.080 --> 00:21:32.920
And I said, well, this is what I recommend.

324
00:21:32.920 --> 00:21:36.000
Just do something fun for the heck of it.

325
00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:39.200
What sounds fun to do,

326
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:41.880
not what do you think will get you a lot of likes?

327
00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:43.720
You know, if you post on social media,

328
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:47.240
cause she wanted to do a YouTube video about something.

329
00:21:47.240 --> 00:21:50.640
And she, I said, so don't think about like,

330
00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:52.040
will somebody else like this?

331
00:21:52.040 --> 00:21:52.880
Will they enjoy it?

332
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:54.440
Would it be useful?

333
00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.320
You know, what is something

334
00:21:56.320 --> 00:21:59.120
that you want to show someone else

335
00:21:59.120 --> 00:22:01.680
and you want to enjoy

336
00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:05.880
and you would enjoy the actual process of doing the video?

337
00:22:05.880 --> 00:22:09.280
It is, you're simply recording yourself

338
00:22:09.280 --> 00:22:12.520
doing exactly what you want to do.

339
00:22:12.520 --> 00:22:14.000
And I don't remember what it was.

340
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:16.240
I don't remember if it was like making,

341
00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:17.880
it wasn't making bows,

342
00:22:17.880 --> 00:22:19.760
but it was some kind of a craft thing,

343
00:22:19.760 --> 00:22:22.360
some kind of a craft thing that she really enjoyed.

344
00:22:22.360 --> 00:22:23.920
And she just thought it would be fun.

345
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:27.400
So she got on there and she just, you know, interacted,

346
00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:30.840
you know, with YouTube and all of that

347
00:22:30.840 --> 00:22:32.440
and showed him how to do that.

348
00:22:32.440 --> 00:22:34.040
It went viral.

349
00:22:34.040 --> 00:22:35.040
Wow.

350
00:22:35.040 --> 00:22:35.880
Yeah.

351
00:22:35.880 --> 00:22:37.440
So she's just like,

352
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:39.040
Ashley, I don't know what to do.

353
00:22:40.840 --> 00:22:43.640
See, you just need to be yourself

354
00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:44.960
because here's the thing.

355
00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:47.080
It wasn't anything photography related.

356
00:22:47.080 --> 00:22:49.920
She doesn't sell what she was making.

357
00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:52.040
She just thought it would be fun.

358
00:22:52.040 --> 00:22:54.440
Just like, and so I said,

359
00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:57.240
do something that lets you enjoy you.

360
00:22:58.280 --> 00:22:59.880
So what would allow you,

361
00:22:59.880 --> 00:23:02.120
what would you do?

362
00:23:02.120 --> 00:23:04.640
Like what action, what activity?

363
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:05.920
That's the word I'm looking for.

364
00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:07.400
What activity would you do

365
00:23:07.400 --> 00:23:10.160
that allows you to step out in faith

366
00:23:11.080 --> 00:23:15.880
that what God says about you is true and enjoy that?

367
00:23:17.160 --> 00:23:18.360
And then by doing that,

368
00:23:18.360 --> 00:23:20.080
you'll start discovering things about yourself.

369
00:23:20.560 --> 00:23:24.000
You'll start reconnecting with that aspect of yourself

370
00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:26.200
that's very naturally creative,

371
00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:28.880
that isn't being dictated to by the needs of others.

372
00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:30.520
And so, like I said, it went viral.

373
00:23:30.520 --> 00:23:32.200
Now, I'm not saying that everybody who does it,

374
00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:33.200
you know, it's gonna go viral,

375
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:35.800
but what the Lord was wanting to do was show her,

376
00:23:35.800 --> 00:23:39.520
hey, look, you know, you have stepped out in faith

377
00:23:39.520 --> 00:23:40.840
and I want to affirm

378
00:23:40.840 --> 00:23:42.960
that you were heading in the right direction.

379
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:46.000
This is what I want you to do because you're good.

380
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.960
You know, I've created you

381
00:23:47.960 --> 00:23:50.680
to have this amazing contribution

382
00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:55.360
to come to express your creativity into the world.

383
00:23:55.360 --> 00:23:57.240
And I don't want you to be afraid of it

384
00:23:57.240 --> 00:23:58.440
because if you're afraid of it,

385
00:23:58.440 --> 00:24:00.080
then you're gonna stifle your creativity.

386
00:24:00.080 --> 00:24:03.320
So I want you to explore it, to enjoy it,

387
00:24:03.320 --> 00:24:06.320
to let it out and mess around with it and have fun.

388
00:24:06.320 --> 00:24:08.720
So anyway, so I was just telling this other lady

389
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:09.720
this the other day,

390
00:24:10.840 --> 00:24:13.600
and so she's looking in the rest intensive

391
00:24:13.600 --> 00:24:14.680
that is currently in there.

392
00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:17.920
And so she's looking to see what it is that she could do

393
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:19.720
because she was expressing the same thing to me.

394
00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:21.200
She's like, you know,

395
00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:23.200
I just don't feel like I'm doing the things

396
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:24.040
that I want to do.

397
00:24:24.040 --> 00:24:25.360
I said, well, then do it.

398
00:24:25.360 --> 00:24:26.200
So what do you want to do?

399
00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:28.120
So I asked her and she kind of starts coming up

400
00:24:28.120 --> 00:24:30.440
with all of these reasons about why it's,

401
00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:32.000
she's been held back,

402
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:34.760
like why she hasn't done it thus far.

403
00:24:34.760 --> 00:24:37.840
And so I just told her, I said,

404
00:24:37.840 --> 00:24:41.600
I said, disregard all of those as valid reasons

405
00:24:41.600 --> 00:24:44.560
for you to not be able to enjoy you

406
00:24:45.360 --> 00:24:47.400
as if all of those are reasons

407
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:52.400
for why you aren't like good enough to spend time on,

408
00:24:53.080 --> 00:24:54.960
to just have fun and to do something.

409
00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:58.080
So anyway, it could be for you, it could be a hobby.

410
00:24:58.080 --> 00:24:59.800
It could be exploring.

411
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.920
exploring ideas for a job,

412
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:06.080
like something that maybe you just really enjoy doing.

413
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:08.840
Like, would you enjoy doing what it is that you do now?

414
00:25:08.840 --> 00:25:11.080
Only you'd like to work for a smaller, you know,

415
00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:12.400
private company,

416
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.360
or would you like to work for a bigger company?

417
00:25:14.360 --> 00:25:17.320
Me, I was always fascinated by the really big corporations.

418
00:25:17.320 --> 00:25:18.480
And that's what I wanted to do.

419
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:20.940
I wanted to work with very, really big ones,

420
00:25:20.940 --> 00:25:22.000
which was a lot of fun.

421
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:22.920
So I worked with the,

422
00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:26.060
I worked with small, medium, and corporate.

423
00:25:26.060 --> 00:25:29.080
And I enjoyed all of them for different reasons,

424
00:25:29.120 --> 00:25:31.960
but there is something in me that loves corporate.

425
00:25:31.960 --> 00:25:32.800
I don't know.

426
00:25:32.800 --> 00:25:36.200
I surprised myself, but,

427
00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:38.480
and so I just,

428
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:40.360
so that's what I would just recommend is

429
00:25:40.360 --> 00:25:43.060
you just kind of think it could be like exploring ideas

430
00:25:43.060 --> 00:25:47.360
about different jobs and not disqualifying them

431
00:25:47.360 --> 00:25:51.320
for why that won't work out or why, you know,

432
00:25:51.320 --> 00:25:53.120
oh, that's dreaming too big or whatever,

433
00:25:53.120 --> 00:25:54.160
because you're really,

434
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:57.700
the point of the exercise isn't to figure out,

435
00:25:57.700 --> 00:25:59.780
especially for the thing like the job.

436
00:25:59.780 --> 00:26:02.820
The whole point of the exercise at this point in the game

437
00:26:02.820 --> 00:26:07.860
is just for you to stop stifling your desire

438
00:26:07.860 --> 00:26:09.780
so that you can finally get right,

439
00:26:09.780 --> 00:26:14.180
get back in touch with what makes you really happy.

440
00:26:14.180 --> 00:26:15.020
And in other words,

441
00:26:15.020 --> 00:26:19.660
kind of like open this Pandora's box of possibility again.

442
00:26:19.660 --> 00:26:22.020
And so when the, when we open that,

443
00:26:22.020 --> 00:26:25.860
when we open up the opportunity for possibility in our lives,

444
00:26:25.900 --> 00:26:28.620
all of the sudden we start moving into,

445
00:26:28.620 --> 00:26:30.180
all of a sudden new things start happening.

446
00:26:30.180 --> 00:26:32.140
New opportunities start coming to us

447
00:26:32.140 --> 00:26:33.860
that we didn't ask for.

448
00:26:33.860 --> 00:26:38.220
And then sometimes it makes us brave

449
00:26:38.220 --> 00:26:41.900
and be courageous enough to step out and try something.

450
00:26:41.900 --> 00:26:43.780
Or finally, we can hear the Lord telling us

451
00:26:43.780 --> 00:26:45.180
to actually do something

452
00:26:45.180 --> 00:26:47.980
that we hadn't heard him tell us to do before,

453
00:26:47.980 --> 00:26:52.060
because we're opening up the realm of possibility, you know?

454
00:26:52.060 --> 00:26:53.780
And then as far as like hobbies,

455
00:26:53.780 --> 00:26:55.860
I would recommend stepping into those.

456
00:26:55.860 --> 00:26:57.460
Like find something,

457
00:26:57.460 --> 00:27:00.220
and you don't have to commit to like anything.

458
00:27:00.220 --> 00:27:02.820
You don't have to commit to doing anything for a month,

459
00:27:02.820 --> 00:27:04.420
have to buy a whole bunch of like,

460
00:27:04.420 --> 00:27:07.020
oh, well, I've just wanted to do horseback riding lessons.

461
00:27:07.020 --> 00:27:09.260
Well, you don't have to buy a whole month

462
00:27:09.260 --> 00:27:11.500
of horseback riding lessons, just one.

463
00:27:12.460 --> 00:27:14.860
And invest that in yourself.

464
00:27:14.860 --> 00:27:18.660
Like, because you're trying to spend time

465
00:27:18.660 --> 00:27:23.660
allowing the life within you to flare up

466
00:27:23.900 --> 00:27:27.420
and to be energized and to just be alive,

467
00:27:27.420 --> 00:27:30.380
to allow part of you to just come alive, you know,

468
00:27:30.380 --> 00:27:32.180
that spirit and to just start

469
00:27:32.180 --> 00:27:34.300
to become more familiar with it.

470
00:27:34.300 --> 00:27:37.340
So, and then it'll become easier to make decisions

471
00:27:37.340 --> 00:27:41.540
and it'll become easier and more clear

472
00:27:41.540 --> 00:27:43.340
to know certain things about yourself,

473
00:27:43.340 --> 00:27:45.460
what it is you desire, et cetera.

474
00:27:45.460 --> 00:27:49.020
And it'll also become clearer to hear God's voice

475
00:27:49.020 --> 00:27:54.020
because your mind and your perspective is more open

476
00:27:57.100 --> 00:27:59.780
as opposed to rigid.

477
00:27:59.780 --> 00:28:02.420
Like, well, and because when we get rigid

478
00:28:02.420 --> 00:28:04.260
as far as like our desires and whatever,

479
00:28:04.260 --> 00:28:07.380
we also become rigid as far as like the,

480
00:28:07.380 --> 00:28:10.780
our expectations of how God is likely to,

481
00:28:10.780 --> 00:28:12.940
how we're likely to be able to hear God

482
00:28:12.940 --> 00:28:14.500
or what he's likely to say.

483
00:28:14.500 --> 00:28:17.820
Everything just, our whole world just becomes small.

484
00:28:17.820 --> 00:28:20.580
And also that means that not very many opportunities

485
00:28:20.580 --> 00:28:22.060
come our way either,

486
00:28:22.060 --> 00:28:24.060
because we've just kind of like,

487
00:28:24.060 --> 00:28:25.620
the New Agers refer to it as,

488
00:28:25.620 --> 00:28:27.460
it's an actual real principle in the spirit,

489
00:28:27.460 --> 00:28:30.460
but the New Agers refer to, how do they refer to it?

490
00:28:31.340 --> 00:28:34.580
I don't know, they, I don't remember,

491
00:28:34.580 --> 00:28:36.740
but even they recognize this,

492
00:28:36.740 --> 00:28:41.740
that if you have decided that things are small,

493
00:28:42.780 --> 00:28:45.380
we're actually making a choice that it is,

494
00:28:45.380 --> 00:28:48.300
and creation is, we're telling creation, basically,

495
00:28:48.300 --> 00:28:51.900
you're only allowed to interact with me like this.

496
00:28:51.900 --> 00:28:53.740
But if we open ourselves up,

497
00:28:53.740 --> 00:28:57.540
then it's like telling creation, hey, I'm open to more,

498
00:28:57.540 --> 00:28:59.020
and then more opportunities

499
00:28:59.020 --> 00:29:01.420
start presenting themselves, et cetera,

500
00:29:01.420 --> 00:29:05.580
because we're giving that authority in our realm.

501
00:29:05.580 --> 00:29:08.180
And anyway, so, and then of course,

502
00:29:08.180 --> 00:29:09.780
the thing that the Lord can,

503
00:29:09.780 --> 00:29:12.740
and the spirit can start moving more freely.

504
00:29:12.740 --> 00:29:17.740
And yeah, anyway, so, so what are your thoughts?

505
00:29:17.860 --> 00:29:19.820
I mean, do you have anything that comes to mind

506
00:29:19.820 --> 00:29:21.660
of things that you could kind of like,

507
00:29:21.660 --> 00:29:23.500
explore or play with, or,

508
00:29:24.620 --> 00:29:27.820
and, you know, spend time daydreaming about,

509
00:29:27.820 --> 00:29:32.820
and just enjoying the fun of the curiosity,

510
00:29:33.020 --> 00:29:34.060
and the discovery,

511
00:29:34.060 --> 00:29:36.500
and then something maybe even that you could

512
00:29:36.500 --> 00:29:39.020
step out in and start trying,

513
00:29:39.020 --> 00:29:39.860
because-

514
00:29:39.860 --> 00:29:44.420
I've got a closet full of potential in there.

515
00:29:44.420 --> 00:29:47.580
Yeah, I know it, I know you do.

516
00:29:47.580 --> 00:29:49.580
And you know it too, that's exciting.

517
00:29:49.580 --> 00:29:51.220
I'm glad you know that, Julie.

518
00:29:52.540 --> 00:29:53.980
So, no, I love that.

519
00:29:53.980 --> 00:29:58.980
I, you know, I never choose me.

520
00:29:59.380 --> 00:30:00.220
I always choose.

521
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:08.480
is like all the exceptions or all the negatives, like what, you know, reasons not to. So no,

522
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:17.280
I like that. I need to explore myself and, you know, and allow God to show me my, my uniqueness.

523
00:30:17.280 --> 00:30:22.960
Yeah. Yeah. That's what opened me up more and more to finally be able to hear the Lord and

524
00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:28.240
be able to choose some at deeper levels is I chose me first. In other words, I chose

525
00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:33.840
what he said about me. I chose that I was valuable the way that he said that I was valuable.

526
00:30:33.840 --> 00:30:38.960
And I chose that before I even chose that he was as good as he said that he was.

527
00:30:40.560 --> 00:30:45.920
And as weird as that sounds, because really I'm in order to choose that you're choosing that God

528
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:53.280
is as good as he says that he is. But I couldn't, I couldn't grab a hold of that by itself. For me,

529
00:30:53.280 --> 00:31:00.000
it was a lot easier to grab a hold of an anchor point of like, okay, well, you know, he's,

530
00:31:01.040 --> 00:31:05.120
if he says that I'm good, we'll then, and that I have good things that come about of me.

531
00:31:05.120 --> 00:31:11.520
Well then let's explore things that helped me come alive. And maybe because I just felt very

532
00:31:11.520 --> 00:31:15.440
connected to it. And so it felt like I could kind of like grab it a little bit easier. I don't know,

533
00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:23.920
but I did that for a solid six months before, and just started exploring things and taking really,

534
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:29.360
making really big decisions and taking some risks, taking big risks, both in business and

535
00:31:29.360 --> 00:31:35.680
personally, et cetera, before God revealed the deeper stuff to me about like identity, et cetera.

536
00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:44.720
And, but so that was my gateway. So I've wanted to recommend that to people that are struggling

537
00:31:44.800 --> 00:31:49.920
of like, well, I'd like to get closer to God, or I'm really not sure if I'm in rest yet or whatever.

538
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:56.160
And they're just having their, their kind of where it is that they are based off of their

539
00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:03.120
background and their experience. They may not, they're just struggling to kind of hear and step

540
00:32:03.120 --> 00:32:10.560
into things yet. It can be because there just feels like this deficit in which they've ignored

541
00:32:10.560 --> 00:32:19.120
themselves for too long. And you, it's yourself that has to make the choice. And so if you don't,

542
00:32:19.120 --> 00:32:23.360
aren't connected enough with yourself, sometimes you're making a choice. Sometimes maybe that's

543
00:32:23.360 --> 00:32:30.000
the struggle of like, you know, of like, well, I don't know. I feel like I'm just kind of here and

544
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:35.600
I feel kind of stagnant. I don't feel like I'm just moving very fast or I'm not where I hope to

545
00:32:35.600 --> 00:32:41.600
be by now or whatever. Could be that there's just some time and attention that needs to be paid

546
00:32:43.520 --> 00:32:51.040
on, on honoring who it is that God made you to be. And that, and remember that what that is doing

547
00:32:51.040 --> 00:32:58.080
is, remember what I've said is that if you are struggling to come into agreement with God about

548
00:32:58.080 --> 00:33:03.680
something, come into agreement with him about something else. If you can't do that yet, that's

549
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:10.640
fine. You're just not there. Come into agreement with something like, and so for maybe you and maybe

550
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:16.960
other people, it was for me, the agreement that I could come into that I, that I find it was a

551
00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:21.200
huge risk. Oh my word. It was so huge. I thought I was risking my relationship with the Lord,

552
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:26.400
but I could choose it easier than I could choose that he was good, that he was provider,

553
00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:34.480
that he was protector. I could choose that I was, um, uh, that I had that maybe my desires were

554
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:39.440
good and that they weren't all bad, you know, and that God could let me, God could delight in them

555
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:47.360
and I could be allowed to pursue some of them and he enjoyed them, et cetera. And so I grabbed

556
00:33:47.360 --> 00:33:51.440
ahold of that. And like I said, for me, it was six months. Now I'm not saying it's going to

557
00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:57.120
be six months for someone else. My point is that I really, it wasn't just kind of something that I,

558
00:33:57.120 --> 00:34:04.400
it was like this little fly by night thing. No, I lived like that and continued for six months and

559
00:34:04.400 --> 00:34:09.679
continued to pursue thing after thing, after thing, after thing, after thing, you know,

560
00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:16.080
deeper levels. And we'd get up and would, and live like that all day and then go to sleep and then

561
00:34:16.080 --> 00:34:20.239
wake up the next morning and live like that all day. Okay. What is it that I want? What is it

562
00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:24.960
that I want to pursue? And I'm a, I'm a driven person. I always come up with new things that

563
00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:30.320
I want to do and things that I want to learn and things that I want to press into. And, um,

564
00:34:30.320 --> 00:34:34.800
anyway, so I would just, I would just do, uh, those things to anyway. So it took,

565
00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:38.719
so after six months for me, I don't think it'll take other people that long, but for me, it took

566
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:43.440
six months. Um, finally, the Lord started talking to me about identity and started talking to me

567
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:48.159
about other things because I was in such a deficit of having ignored myself too long.

568
00:34:48.560 --> 00:34:53.440
So maybe that would be helpful to you and give you a bit of a stepping stone because you're

569
00:34:53.440 --> 00:35:02.720
coming into agreement with God at the level, at, with, at some point in your life that you're not

570
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.440
something that, you know, with something that maybe you're struggling with coming

571
00:35:02.720 --> 00:35:07.600
going to be able to do that anymore. And I think that's really important. And I think that's

572
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:07.280
to agreement with him on something else.

573
00:35:07.640 --> 00:35:08.520
He's just excited.

574
00:35:08.520 --> 00:35:11.680
You're coming to agreement with him on something because you're believing

575
00:35:12.120 --> 00:35:15.520
as opposed to, well, you're not believing this, but you're believing this.

576
00:35:15.960 --> 00:35:17.200
And this is what he's excited about.

577
00:35:17.200 --> 00:35:18.400
He's like, okay, she chose me.

578
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:22.920
She chose me more and in a greater way than she did yesterday.

579
00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:24.720
She's choosing this.

580
00:35:25.040 --> 00:35:26.440
So she's believing me in this.

581
00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:29.640
So I feel loved because she's loving on me because she's believing me.

582
00:35:29.920 --> 00:35:30.720
So that kind of thing.

583
00:35:31.080 --> 00:35:32.560
So that's what I would recommend.

584
00:35:32.560 --> 00:35:34.360
And so this other lady is doing that as well.

585
00:35:34.360 --> 00:35:39.840
She's, um, uh, she's looking into it and pursuing it and been thinking about it.

586
00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:45.120
And, um, so I'm looking forward to hearing her update, but, um, anyway,

587
00:35:45.400 --> 00:35:49.640
so that's what, something that I would recommend is it gives you something

588
00:35:49.640 --> 00:35:54.680
to actually move forward on as opposed to, well, you know, I don't

589
00:35:54.680 --> 00:35:56.000
really know what's going on.

590
00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:57.240
Maybe I'm stagnant.

591
00:35:57.240 --> 00:35:57.960
Am I in rest?

592
00:35:57.960 --> 00:35:58.800
I'm not in rest.

593
00:35:59.160 --> 00:36:01.840
This will maybe give you something to kind of grab a hold of like,

594
00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:03.960
okay, this, I can understand.

595
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:06.120
Am I, am I getting excited?

596
00:36:06.160 --> 00:36:07.680
Am I feeling more life in me?

597
00:36:07.680 --> 00:36:09.480
Am I thinking about things that I enjoy?

598
00:36:09.480 --> 00:36:14.160
Am I actually thinking about and trying to make possible doing

599
00:36:14.160 --> 00:36:16.800
the things that I really enjoy?

600
00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:21.400
Am I like looking things up on Google and actually buying a ticket or, or

601
00:36:21.400 --> 00:36:26.440
buying the thing or, or going to like, it could be free, like, you know,

602
00:36:26.520 --> 00:36:30.280
committing to go to this book club and then putting it on my calendar and that,

603
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:33.520
yes, I'm going to, you know, do this and I'm just, I don't know, whatever.

604
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:37.600
So, um, or I'm going to do a YouTube video and you go on and you do the

605
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:42.160
YouTube video where you go learn something and whatever, but whatever it

606
00:36:42.160 --> 00:36:46.240
is, it will take risk of you, like putting yourself out there.

607
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:52.520
In other words, you actually trying something and, um, but know that the

608
00:36:52.520 --> 00:36:54.520
whole point isn't succeeding.

609
00:36:55.080 --> 00:36:59.200
Like in other words, getting it to accomplishing a particular thing.

610
00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:02.920
The whole point is you enjoying yourself that will, that will

611
00:37:02.920 --> 00:37:06.560
strengthen the spirit within you and make it more alive and

612
00:37:06.560 --> 00:37:08.240
make it more familiar to you.

613
00:37:08.600 --> 00:37:12.120
Um, and that will, and then it's something that you can, and it'll be

614
00:37:12.120 --> 00:37:14.120
stronger and you can start building on it.

615
00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:21.240
Um, and it'll yeah, because the spirit grows when it's, uh, when,

616
00:37:21.560 --> 00:37:25.920
when it's acknowledged, um, is where does that sound?

617
00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:29.560
It's like, it's, it's honored and it's paid attention to, and it gets.

618
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:35.240
It, it, um, we're, whenever we do that, we're giving it a bigger role in our lives.

619
00:37:35.560 --> 00:37:37.400
The soul is letting it in a bit more.

620
00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:41.120
So anyway, but so what are your thoughts?

621
00:37:41.600 --> 00:37:42.720
No, it sounds good.

622
00:37:42.720 --> 00:37:46.720
It does sound something I can move forward with instead of just

623
00:37:46.720 --> 00:37:49.920
sitting and waiting for him to show up.

624
00:37:50.400 --> 00:37:54.520
Um, yeah, I know he's there, but I'm like, it's supposed to be easy.

625
00:37:54.960 --> 00:37:55.760
I know.

626
00:37:55.760 --> 00:37:58.800
Well, this is something, like I said, that you can grab a hold

627
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:01.280
of and actually move forward with.

628
00:38:02.080 --> 00:38:07.040
It's something that you're coming into agreement with him about, you know, as

629
00:38:07.040 --> 00:38:10.920
opposed to getting frustrated or aggravated or annoyed or whatever that,

630
00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:15.240
well, you know, you're, you you're trying to come into agreement with him over

631
00:38:15.240 --> 00:38:19.520
here, but you know, nothing seems to be like changing, et cetera, or, you

632
00:38:19.520 --> 00:38:20.680
know, whatever it is you're thinking.

633
00:38:21.520 --> 00:38:25.040
You pick something else and it is, it's still coming into

634
00:38:25.040 --> 00:38:27.000
agreement with him about something.

635
00:38:27.000 --> 00:38:30.960
It's still believing him when he said X, Y, and Z.

636
00:38:31.440 --> 00:38:34.680
And then you're acting on it because faith without works is dead.

637
00:38:34.680 --> 00:38:37.840
So if you don't act on it, it's not really faith.

638
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:41.040
So that's why I was saying, so what is it that you can do?

639
00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:42.880
So do you like really love books?

640
00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:44.880
And so you joined a book club or you're like, oh, I've always

641
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:47.560
wanted to do horseback riding, but I've always been very nervous.

642
00:38:47.600 --> 00:38:49.920
Just one lesson, pick one lesson.

643
00:38:50.240 --> 00:38:55.920
And for me, what I always would do is I would always pick it this, the soonest

644
00:38:56.160 --> 00:39:03.000
so that I would, I, it would, um, uh, put that, so as less, I wouldn't

645
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:04.800
allow myself to lose my nerve.

646
00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:06.720
I would make myself do it.

647
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:10.920
And, um, I would step, I would, it's almost like a step of, it

648
00:39:10.920 --> 00:39:12.560
would allow me to obey faster.

649
00:39:13.080 --> 00:39:14.320
Because I'm stepping into it.

650
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:18.000
In other words, I'm putting works to my faith as fast as possible

651
00:39:18.320 --> 00:39:20.320
as opposed to well, two weeks from now.

652
00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:23.920
No, it's like, no God, this is how serious I am.

653
00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:25.200
Here I go right now.

654
00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:29.160
And so, um, that's, those are the types of things that I would do.

655
00:39:29.160 --> 00:39:33.360
I, and even my husband has noticed that, that, that about me, that I

656
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:34.920
have a tendency towards doing that.

657
00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:37.880
And he calls it very, he's like, you're very spontaneous sometimes.

658
00:39:37.880 --> 00:39:43.360
I'm like, I have learned now part of that is just my personality, but what

659
00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:48.760
I was, but I had to learn that that was okay to step out into, but that was me.

660
00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:57.400
So I'm very good at acting out on my faith, um, very quickly because

661
00:39:57.400 --> 00:39:59.200
I've learned got to do it now.

662
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.840
not count, can't like get myself, give myself any time to like talk myself out of it. And

663
00:40:06.400 --> 00:40:12.480
it's like, no Lord, I'm serious. Here I go. Anyway, it's very, and it's very helpful.

664
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:21.120
And you actually move forward spiritually faster. So, but anyway, so maybe you've come up with some

665
00:40:21.120 --> 00:40:29.120
things that you could do or explore. I mean, I want to travel, but I always like,

666
00:40:29.120 --> 00:40:32.880
come with me, come with me. So maybe I might try it by myself.

667
00:40:32.880 --> 00:40:38.800
That's a great idea, but it's actually a really, really, really good idea. And I don't know,

668
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:44.000
it could be in whatever it is I would recommend doing something that would, a lot that would

669
00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:51.280
make you do it now is in like, okay, well, I'd like to do an overseas trip, but okay, well,

670
00:40:51.280 --> 00:40:56.720
that would take time. So you could do something that, okay, well, it only take a weekend

671
00:40:57.520 --> 00:41:01.120
and it's close enough that I can get there, but it's a place I've never been.

672
00:41:01.120 --> 00:41:05.680
And I get an Airbnb or I get a hotel room or I get a something. And then it lets you do it

673
00:41:05.680 --> 00:41:10.720
without it interfering with work. In other words, it gives you the experience and gives you something

674
00:41:10.720 --> 00:41:18.640
to actually do now, as opposed to talking yourself out of it by making it this big project. Anyway.

675
00:41:18.640 --> 00:41:22.640
So that's one thing that maybe you could do. I mean, you would know better than me about like

676
00:41:22.640 --> 00:41:29.840
what travel means and looks like and what, what, what that is me. I love traveling by myself.

677
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:34.640
I know that that might sound weird. I love traveling by myself. I'm not usually looking

678
00:41:34.640 --> 00:41:40.800
for people to please come with me. I have enjoyed traveling with other people before.

679
00:41:41.440 --> 00:41:46.640
And last year I traveled for six weeks with people. When I was overseas for three months,

680
00:41:46.640 --> 00:41:51.520
six of those weeks, I was with other people and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun,

681
00:41:51.520 --> 00:41:57.920
but I'm telling you what I think that I was happy. Oh, wow. Yeah. I could be wrong. I could

682
00:41:57.920 --> 00:42:05.200
be wrong. Maybe not. There were pros and cons to both, but anyway, I just, I love it because

683
00:42:05.200 --> 00:42:10.480
then I can kind of like, I was like on this faith journey with the Lord of like, and then whenever

684
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:15.600
I felt something between me and the Lord, I could act on it without being slowed down by other people

685
00:42:15.600 --> 00:42:22.080
who had to be on board too, or whatever. Anyway, I loved it. I love traveling by myself. And then

686
00:42:22.080 --> 00:42:28.320
of course I drove around all around the United States. I've done that twice, at least twice.

687
00:42:28.320 --> 00:42:34.080
I didn't run that. I don't know. Then it twice, I guess, in two big trips and once,

688
00:42:35.600 --> 00:42:44.960
yeah, once, I guess about a year apart, I suppose. Anyway. And just because I wanted to,

689
00:42:45.760 --> 00:42:51.040
you're saying that you wanted to travel. That's what I wanted to do. So I did it. Now I asked God

690
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:57.760
and it made sure that he was good with it. And I was like, I think that he's saying, yes, God,

691
00:42:57.760 --> 00:43:02.240
I think this is what you want. So I'm going to step out and start taking action in this area.

692
00:43:02.240 --> 00:43:10.880
I'm going to start in step one, and then, okay, well, Lord, how do I sense in my spirit that

693
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:16.320
you're responding to that? Do I still feel freedom? Okay. Well then the next step. Okay.

694
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:20.320
Am I still feeling freedom, Lord? Are we still doing this together? You know, because it was

695
00:43:20.320 --> 00:43:24.560
always, you know, me and God doing it together, not, okay, am I doing something in God? Are you,

696
00:43:25.120 --> 00:43:31.840
are you looking on me and approving? It was always, okay, what are God and I doing together?

697
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:38.720
Because he and I are living my life together. It's not me living my life. Me and God are living a

698
00:43:38.720 --> 00:43:46.080
life together. I no longer live, but Christ lives within me and we are together. And so it's like,

699
00:43:46.080 --> 00:43:50.320
okay, what are we going to do? Okay. Well, let's travel. Okay. Well, how would I do that? I was

700
00:43:50.320 --> 00:43:56.880
like, well, I happen to know a lot of people let's pick somebody and call him and say, Hey,

701
00:43:56.880 --> 00:44:02.640
I am on a road trip coming through your area. And I was wondering, could I stop by in state and, um,

702
00:44:02.640 --> 00:44:09.520
and visit with you? Yeah, Ashley. Absolutely. And so I was like, I just head out. Okay, here I go.

703
00:44:09.520 --> 00:44:17.360
And then, um, and then I, and then while I was making pro well, I was like packing or on the road

704
00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:24.400
there, or while I was there, I get the next place. I'm like, okay. I I'd like to go visit so-and-so

705
00:44:24.400 --> 00:44:29.200
and I'd ask them, Hey, you know, whatever. So that's what I did because partly what I was doing

706
00:44:29.200 --> 00:44:36.560
is I was ministering as I went. So I kind of used it as, Hey, you know, so-and-so can I come visit

707
00:44:36.560 --> 00:44:41.600
you? Because these were people who had wanted me to visit them and I was going to be ministering,

708
00:44:41.600 --> 00:44:46.400
you know, et cetera. So that's how I did it. And then sometimes I would stay in a hotel

709
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:53.120
or whatever, but, um, anyway, and then I just kind of, I did not have a plan. I had a general plan.

710
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:57.920
And, but that was because that was only after I contacted enough people

711
00:44:57.920 --> 00:44:59.840
that I got a general schedule.

712
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.680
Joel of when I was going to be where based on their schedules and Hey, we'd

713
00:45:03.680 --> 00:45:04.840
love to have you this week.

714
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:06.480
Oh, actually, we'd love to have you this week.

715
00:45:06.920 --> 00:45:10.200
So I did that, but anyway, so that's how I did the whole.

716
00:45:10.560 --> 00:45:11.640
I want to travel thing.

717
00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:17.040
So anyway, but that's, that's what I chose to do, but mine was a little

718
00:45:17.040 --> 00:45:20.600
different because I could work from the road, but my point is it

719
00:45:20.600 --> 00:45:22.920
wasn't this big, huge planned thing.

720
00:45:23.120 --> 00:45:25.000
It was just, here we go.

721
00:45:25.240 --> 00:45:26.760
And so I sold all my stuff.

722
00:45:27.120 --> 00:45:29.840
That was, that was one of the things I started selling my things.

723
00:45:30.280 --> 00:45:31.840
Okay, Lord, how is this scene?

724
00:45:31.880 --> 00:45:34.800
Well, the Lord had already told me to sell my things, but while I was doing

725
00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:36.280
it, I was still sensing with him.

726
00:45:36.600 --> 00:45:38.440
Okay, Lord, how does, how is this feeling?

727
00:45:38.720 --> 00:45:44.120
Are you still moving in this direction or do I feel a shut door and I now need

728
00:45:44.120 --> 00:45:47.880
to move in a different direction or has a new opportunity come up, you know?

729
00:45:48.200 --> 00:45:52.160
So when we quote unquote, like make a decision, we're really just, it

730
00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:53.920
really is just giving us a direction.

731
00:45:54.760 --> 00:45:58.080
Um, did I ever talk about that?

732
00:46:00.120 --> 00:46:02.320
No, I don't remember the direction part.

733
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:03.520
Okay.

734
00:46:03.800 --> 00:46:09.800
Oh, oh, let me get this piece of paper here.

735
00:46:10.480 --> 00:46:13.960
So it was something that I haven't actually taught on in a while.

736
00:46:14.080 --> 00:46:18.600
Um, and it was just, and it's just basically this idea here where, you

737
00:46:18.600 --> 00:46:26.000
know, say that you're here, you're here and then, and then you get this goal here.

738
00:46:26.240 --> 00:46:29.480
And the whole point of the goal is just to give you a direction.

739
00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:35.480
But the thing is that if we get really, really, um, stiff and we

740
00:46:35.480 --> 00:46:37.560
decide, no, this is what I want to do.

741
00:46:37.960 --> 00:46:43.480
And then we just head this direction, you know, come what may, then sometimes

742
00:46:43.480 --> 00:46:49.280
the winds of the Holy spirit opportunity or whatever, let me do this, start

743
00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:53.600
coming in and start kind of like bending us off the path and you know, like kind

744
00:46:53.600 --> 00:46:58.200
of, and then we so often feel that, Hey, things are getting in my way.

745
00:46:58.200 --> 00:46:59.720
So I'm just going to work harder.

746
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.200
Well, sometimes it's just the Lord, you know, because the whole point of

747
00:47:04.200 --> 00:47:07.080
the goal is simply to give us a direction.

748
00:47:07.080 --> 00:47:11.120
So I always recommend to people that when they get a goal that, that

749
00:47:11.280 --> 00:47:14.440
then start pointing themselves in that direction, start moving in that

750
00:47:14.440 --> 00:47:18.880
direction, and then to forget about the goal, and it doesn't mean

751
00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:20.520
you forget about it completely.

752
00:47:20.680 --> 00:47:24.000
It just means that emotionally you start to let go of it.

753
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:26.640
And it's like, okay, this is the direction that I'm heading.

754
00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:30.920
This is still kind of sort of the goal, the plan, whatever,

755
00:47:31.120 --> 00:47:32.400
but it may not end up there.

756
00:47:32.920 --> 00:47:34.920
It may end up looking different when I get there.

757
00:47:35.120 --> 00:47:39.080
You know, I may end up, you know, just kind of like moving around.

758
00:47:39.480 --> 00:47:42.560
We do this cause I'm right-handed, you know, moving around this way,

759
00:47:42.560 --> 00:47:43.240
moving around that way.

760
00:47:43.240 --> 00:47:45.520
And then I might start doing this, start doing this, and then

761
00:47:45.520 --> 00:47:46.960
I can end up way over here.

762
00:47:47.640 --> 00:47:52.360
And then, and I didn't even know when I headed out that this was even a

763
00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:57.600
possibility, but now that I'm here, I love this so much more than this.

764
00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:03.080
But see, I didn't know that, but I, I got here because I allowed this to

765
00:48:03.080 --> 00:48:05.800
do this here to just send me in a particular direction.

766
00:48:06.560 --> 00:48:09.440
And then I just stayed, I just stayed flexible with the Lord, constantly

767
00:48:09.440 --> 00:48:12.400
asking him, okay, Lord, you know, how, how's your spirit feeling?

768
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:14.160
Is it still feeling free Lord?

769
00:48:14.520 --> 00:48:17.720
In other words, do I feel still an opening from you to continue in this

770
00:48:17.720 --> 00:48:21.440
direction, or do I feel like the winds have changed a bit now we're going to

771
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:24.040
be doing, we're now going to be turning to the right a little bit.

772
00:48:24.040 --> 00:48:27.280
Now we're going to be turning to the left a little bit while you're walking.

773
00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:29.880
You're, you're, you're moving in that particular direction.

774
00:48:29.880 --> 00:48:33.360
You've already taken steps and you're still taking more steps, but how did

775
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:35.280
the steps going to start end up changing?

776
00:48:35.280 --> 00:48:41.160
So this is what I always recommend to people to do and their lives are, and

777
00:48:41.160 --> 00:48:45.000
all of our lives are just so much richer that way they're more fun.

778
00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:46.360
I am telling you.

779
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:52.120
I would have not that the way that I, the plate where it is that I've ended up my

780
00:48:52.120 --> 00:48:57.840
place, the way that my life looks like right now, who I'm married to, um, where

781
00:48:57.840 --> 00:49:02.920
we live, um, I don't know just what my life looks like is simply because I got

782
00:49:02.920 --> 00:49:07.360
a particular direction because something sounded fun and I just had it off.

783
00:49:08.080 --> 00:49:11.880
And then I just would ask the Lord, you know, okay, Lord, how's, because

784
00:49:11.880 --> 00:49:13.160
I'm doing life with you, Lord.

785
00:49:13.760 --> 00:49:16.120
How's this, you know, are we still good?

786
00:49:16.160 --> 00:49:17.440
Is it still this direction?

787
00:49:17.440 --> 00:49:19.480
And then I would just change and alter course.

788
00:49:19.520 --> 00:49:21.320
And then I just learned sometimes.

789
00:49:21.320 --> 00:49:21.920
Okay.

790
00:49:22.120 --> 00:49:27.280
Like for instance, I was overseas and, um, and everything was drying up and all

791
00:49:27.280 --> 00:49:31.120
of a sudden, you know, I wasn't, the money wasn't coming in to send me to new,

792
00:49:31.200 --> 00:49:34.040
to new cities and I was like, well, Lord, but you had been doing that.

793
00:49:34.040 --> 00:49:34.920
And it stopped.

794
00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:36.120
Why is it stopped?

795
00:49:36.480 --> 00:49:38.320
And I went home feeling like a failure.

796
00:49:39.080 --> 00:49:41.840
I thought, Lord, am I, am I not believing you?

797
00:49:41.840 --> 00:49:43.520
Is there something I don't understand?

798
00:49:43.520 --> 00:49:44.600
I cried.

799
00:49:45.600 --> 00:49:47.040
I knew God hadn't left me.

800
00:49:47.040 --> 00:49:49.840
It was that I felt like I'd broken something.

801
00:49:50.600 --> 00:49:53.560
It's broken something in my relationship with him and I didn't mean

802
00:49:53.560 --> 00:49:55.040
to, and I didn't know how to fix it.

803
00:49:55.520 --> 00:49:59.200
And anyway, so what ended up happening is I came home and I thought, okay,

804
00:49:59.200 --> 00:50:00.160
this is the new direction.

805
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.240
direction that I'm in. I, where am I going? Where am I going now? I thought I was going

806
00:50:05.240 --> 00:50:08.680
to go overseas a lot longer, but now I'm back here. Okay. So I'm back here now. What am

807
00:50:08.680 --> 00:50:13.120
I going to do? I'm going to pick up the rest intensive again, and I'm going to start teaching

808
00:50:13.120 --> 00:50:17.720
again. Like, cause I had done, I had, I'd like spent like a three months, three, four

809
00:50:17.720 --> 00:50:23.080
month hiatus. And, um, and so, and then I thought, you know, I'm going to start traveling

810
00:50:23.080 --> 00:50:30.640
again. So I, um, I headed out and started, you know, connecting with people. Hey, can

811
00:50:30.640 --> 00:50:35.640
I come, you know, visit you? And, oh yeah, we'd love to visit you. Okay. Well, how's

812
00:50:35.640 --> 00:50:39.880
next week? You know, it's such a Thursday. Yeah, there's, it's great. Okay. Well, I can't

813
00:50:39.880 --> 00:50:46.120
wait to see you and anyway. And so I just had it off before I knew it. I ended up here

814
00:50:46.120 --> 00:50:54.160
last year. Um, and on my, on my circle, um, through the unit, through, uh, through the

815
00:50:54.160 --> 00:50:58.760
straight up the middle of the United States and then over across the top and down, I was

816
00:50:58.760 --> 00:51:04.760
coming down and was going to go full circle back to make sure that I was home by, I don't

817
00:51:04.760 --> 00:51:08.880
remember if I was getting, if I was aiming for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but anyway,

818
00:51:08.880 --> 00:51:13.320
so I was coming back this way. I've come here. I, you know, I get to like a South Carolina,

819
00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:17.960
which is where I am now. And then made up with my friend because, you know, Ed, you

820
00:51:17.960 --> 00:51:21.640
know, because it's just like, well, I'm here, Ed, and we need to, we haven't visited in

821
00:51:21.640 --> 00:51:25.440
a while and we need to visit in person. So you come see me and I'm staying at our mutual

822
00:51:25.440 --> 00:51:31.120
friend's house and we, we connected. And then while I was there, I thought, ah, Ed, I'll

823
00:51:31.120 --> 00:51:35.800
go see, I'll go down to Morningstar because it's a hotel and I have another conference

824
00:51:35.800 --> 00:51:42.160
to go to in Jacksonville, but I've got some days in between. So I'll just come visit you.

825
00:51:42.160 --> 00:51:45.680
And he's like, well, you know, that's fine. I don't know how many, you know, how much

826
00:51:45.680 --> 00:51:49.120
free time I'm going to have. Cause I'm really busy putting on this bowl of profits. I said,

827
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:54.360
oh, don't worry. I'm very self sufficient. I can just entertain myself. I just kind of

828
00:51:54.360 --> 00:51:58.360
need a place to crash for a while. So I'll just get one of the hotel rooms. So I came

829
00:51:58.360 --> 00:52:05.440
and before we knew it, we started dating. I'm like, not expecting this. And under, and

830
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:13.440
my whole point in telling you that is that was, uh, let's see, July I was in Naples.

831
00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:23.240
Yeah, no April, May, June, maybe it's June. Oh man. What was it? Is it June or July? I

832
00:52:23.240 --> 00:52:27.480
think maybe it was June, the end of June. I w I don't know why it seems like it was

833
00:52:27.480 --> 00:52:34.240
July though, but the end of June, I was in Naples, Italy crying because I had to come.

834
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:39.360
I don't, I didn't know what I had broken, but I felt that I'd broken something in my

835
00:52:39.360 --> 00:52:44.120
faith or something. And I had to come home and meaning back to the States and felt like

836
00:52:44.120 --> 00:52:50.240
I came back with my tail between my legs. Well, that was the end of July. And by September,

837
00:52:50.240 --> 00:52:56.080
October, wait, no, that was the end of June. So July, August, September, October, by the

838
00:52:56.080 --> 00:53:01.440
end of October, I had traveled around the United States again, finally started, finally

839
00:53:01.520 --> 00:53:07.200
met up with, um, with, uh, some people from the rest intensive. I had never gotten to meet.

840
00:53:07.200 --> 00:53:11.840
So in started making like really good friends. I stayed three weeks in Pennsylvania with a

841
00:53:11.840 --> 00:53:18.640
group of them. And then, um, and came down reconnected with Ed and before I, in four

842
00:53:18.640 --> 00:53:24.400
months after I had been in that hotel room in Naples, uh, my strength, my faith was rebuilt

843
00:53:24.400 --> 00:53:28.080
because I had been on the road yet again, even though I was in the United States, I was on the

844
00:53:28.080 --> 00:53:32.720
road again, still living by faith where the Lord was having to provide for me every step of the

845
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:38.160
way. I had amazing opportunities and amazing things happen before I knew it at the end of

846
00:53:38.160 --> 00:53:43.680
August, at the end of October, I'm dating for the first time. And then of course he and I ended up

847
00:53:43.680 --> 00:53:50.560
getting engaged in, in April and getting married in June. So I had no idea when I was in that hotel

848
00:53:50.560 --> 00:53:57.200
room that literally less than a year later, in other words, 50 weeks later, I would be married.

849
00:53:58.080 --> 00:54:04.640
God had to bring me back for that. I was planning on being gone for, through at least Christmas

850
00:54:04.640 --> 00:54:09.520
overseas. And here it was the end of June. And I felt like I'd already failed.

851
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:14.720
And God's just like, no, actually you've got, you've got things that you need to do. And then,

852
00:54:15.520 --> 00:54:20.080
you know, I've got, you know, I want you to, I've got plans for you to get married. I know what

853
00:54:20.080 --> 00:54:25.280
you're going to do, but I didn't know that. So anyway, I, my, my point is that even when

854
00:54:25.280 --> 00:54:30.480
things seem to like blow us off course, and we think, look, this proves that something's bad.

855
00:54:31.680 --> 00:54:38.720
Well, come to find out God's like, no, you need to come back. You thought that it, that success

856
00:54:38.720 --> 00:54:45.040
and making your goal and doing something right in your relationship with me was to keep going,

857
00:54:45.040 --> 00:54:49.920
you know, to, to stay overseas longer. And no, that's not what it looked like. I wanted you to

858
00:54:49.920 --> 00:54:55.440
come back. And I wanted you to host rest intensives, you know, and teachings and,

859
00:54:55.440 --> 00:54:59.760
and consultations and all kinds of stuff for the next several months. And then.

860
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.240
eventually start dating your friend, you know, and so I

861
00:55:04.240 --> 00:55:08.640
didn't know. Anyway, back about like failure. So the thing is

862
00:55:08.640 --> 00:55:11.440
the things that sometimes like blow us off course in like,

863
00:55:11.760 --> 00:55:15.760
where it feels like we'll have a goal. And then we get we get

864
00:55:15.760 --> 00:55:20.680
kind of hit sideways. They're not always. They're not always

865
00:55:20.720 --> 00:55:23.760
they don't always feel positive. They don't always feel like, oh,

866
00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:26.240
this is an even better opportunity. That's blowing me

867
00:55:26.240 --> 00:55:29.240
off course. Sometimes it feels like we're blown off course by

868
00:55:29.240 --> 00:55:32.200
something horribly negative. That makes us feel like we

869
00:55:32.200 --> 00:55:35.320
failed. And God, you know, is just doing stuff in the

870
00:55:35.320 --> 00:55:41.240
background. So. So anyway, I've just give wanted to give you

871
00:55:41.240 --> 00:55:46.760
that idea in case it's helpful about just the whole point. The

872
00:55:46.760 --> 00:55:51.400
whole point of all of this is the journey anyway. It's not the

873
00:55:51.400 --> 00:55:54.640
goals. It's not getting somewhere. The whole point is

874
00:55:54.640 --> 00:55:58.320
just is the traveling is it traveling meaning like the

875
00:55:58.320 --> 00:56:02.440
journeying, the enjoying of it, the enjoying of yourself, the

876
00:56:02.440 --> 00:56:05.880
enjoying of you and the Lord. That's the whole point. And

877
00:56:06.680 --> 00:56:10.200
anyway, and so if also if we get focused on the destination and

878
00:56:10.200 --> 00:56:14.680
on the goal, not only do we miss it, when God tries to tell us to

879
00:56:14.680 --> 00:56:17.480
start moving in a different direction, but it means that we

880
00:56:17.480 --> 00:56:20.720
also aren't enjoying the journey of enjoying God, or enjoying

881
00:56:20.720 --> 00:56:25.520
ourselves. So because we're focused too much on as we're

882
00:56:25.520 --> 00:56:28.600
making a thing and a destination more important than

883
00:56:28.600 --> 00:56:34.720
us. And the enjoying of us. So anyway, is that what are your

884
00:56:34.720 --> 00:56:35.360
thoughts?

885
00:56:36.280 --> 00:56:41.360
No, I needed that. I really appreciate that the visual and

886
00:56:41.360 --> 00:56:45.360
then yeah, just because you're getting blown off the path is

887
00:56:45.360 --> 00:56:49.360
not even if it's a negative feeling. It's not negative, you

888
00:56:49.360 --> 00:56:50.240
know? Yeah.

889
00:56:50.960 --> 00:56:55.360
Mm hmm. Because God always got something bigger and better and

890
00:56:55.360 --> 00:56:59.480
more exciting. And everything always leads to more love and

891
00:56:59.480 --> 00:57:02.760
freedom, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment. But I so

892
00:57:02.760 --> 00:57:06.920
I just wanted to tell you that, that to just encourage you, that

893
00:57:06.920 --> 00:57:13.920
thing that, that your life is that free. Just not only do you

894
00:57:13.920 --> 00:57:17.840
not have to stay here, but you can dream about something else,

895
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:21.200
start heading in a particular direction and just be asking the

896
00:57:21.200 --> 00:57:24.280
Lord throughout that time. Okay, Lord, so how is this? Do you and

897
00:57:24.280 --> 00:57:26.440
I still want to be doing this? Do we still want to be moving in

898
00:57:26.440 --> 00:57:28.920
this direction? Because now we're on step three towards it.

899
00:57:29.320 --> 00:57:33.000
And then you just kind of like follow it. And just just enjoy

900
00:57:33.000 --> 00:57:38.080
it. And you'll discover so much about yourself along the way. And

901
00:57:38.080 --> 00:57:41.920
so much about your desires and so much about the Lord and how

902
00:57:41.920 --> 00:57:46.480
good he is and how much fun he has with with you exploring what

903
00:57:46.480 --> 00:57:49.800
it is that you want, trying to think about what it is you want.

904
00:57:51.160 --> 00:57:59.600
Anyway, so life becomes so much more fun when you just when you

905
00:57:59.600 --> 00:58:02.640
don't know what's going to happen. And you're just living

906
00:58:02.680 --> 00:58:08.800
life every morning, waking up, just having fun just living it.

907
00:58:10.440 --> 00:58:16.080
That I've thoroughly enjoyed. I have loved it. And that's where

908
00:58:16.080 --> 00:58:19.520
all of these wild opportunities have come from. I mean, now I

909
00:58:19.520 --> 00:58:26.560
work at a at a at work, I live at a ministry that is known by

910
00:58:26.560 --> 00:58:29.960
some people, but but it's kind of like considered to be the

911
00:58:29.960 --> 00:58:35.440
Bethel of the East Coast. And then now Rick Joyner is the head

912
00:58:35.440 --> 00:58:38.880
of it. And so Rick Joyner is the one who wrote the fame, a lot of

913
00:58:38.880 --> 00:58:41.880
those famous books, I think he's read written like 50 books or

914
00:58:41.880 --> 00:58:44.240
something like that. But one of them is the final quest and the

915
00:58:44.240 --> 00:58:50.400
harvesting is one of the foremost known, like prophets of

916
00:58:50.400 --> 00:58:53.920
today, and that kind of thing. Well, I didn't, I didn't really

917
00:58:53.920 --> 00:58:58.680
know about him other than as the author of this book. And anyway,

918
00:58:58.680 --> 00:59:04.400
so I mean, I'm now here with, with all of these people. And,

919
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:08.080
and I'm just like, this is such a wild opportunity to be in a

920
00:59:08.080 --> 00:59:15.480
community like this, of such strong prophetic voices and, and

921
00:59:15.480 --> 00:59:19.520
then to get to meet such neat people and just be exposed to

922
00:59:19.520 --> 00:59:24.320
different I some interesting ideas and different theology and

923
00:59:24.320 --> 00:59:30.000
whatever. And anyway, I didn't, I didn't ask for it. It just, I

924
00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:32.720
just like was just following the Lord. This sounds like fun, Lord,

925
00:59:32.720 --> 00:59:35.280
this sounds like fun. Can I follow this? And he'll be like,

926
00:59:35.280 --> 00:59:39.880
yeah, and I'm like, and, and somehow I just kind of ended up

927
00:59:39.880 --> 00:59:43.600
here. And right here is just a, it's just a path to something

928
00:59:43.600 --> 00:59:46.880
else. So I'll be going from here to something else and just have

929
00:59:46.880 --> 00:59:50.080
another really neat opportunity. But it was only when I finally

930
00:59:50.080 --> 00:59:57.200
let go. And I finally, I finally began to enjoy that there might

931
00:59:57.200 --> 00:59:59.800
be some fun things in me that could be

932
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.880
paid attention to and noticed and enjoyed and, and like followed up on, like actually acted on some

933
01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:16.240
of the things that made me happy. And, um, anyway, it's, it's made my life big and I'm shocked at how

934
01:00:16.240 --> 01:00:22.080
small that it used to be. And that used to feel, and I just had my little bitty group of friends,

935
01:00:22.080 --> 01:00:28.800
which trust me was not many. I just could like count them on. Like I literally only had maybe

936
01:00:28.800 --> 01:00:34.480
two or three friends in all of DFW. I mean, it just, and, and everybody else I really wasn't

937
01:00:34.480 --> 01:00:40.240
keeping up with. So I really just had like two or three friends and then I have my family and

938
01:00:40.240 --> 01:00:46.560
that's just not a healthy place to be when you're in your mid thirties. It's just not. And, uh,

939
01:00:46.560 --> 01:00:55.280
anyway, so I just, um, uh, I went from that to now, you know, traveling all of a sudden,

940
01:00:55.280 --> 01:00:59.440
you know, started, uh, two years later, I was traveling the world by myself.

941
01:01:00.400 --> 01:01:05.840
So I just went from there to there now, not every night, but I'm trying to think

942
01:01:07.200 --> 01:01:12.400
was that, I didn't know. I was going to say, well, it's two years. I was wondering if you

943
01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:18.240
could even say that was one year, but I don't know, two, one, two years, but anyway, so I just

944
01:01:18.240 --> 01:01:24.960
wanted to give you, um, all explain all of that to you is hopefully for you to, to, um, uh, take

945
01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:32.800
a hold of as, um, in an exciting way that things are, um, that, that life is possible to be lived

946
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:41.280
so much more free and fun and not so did I get it right? Am I getting it right? Am I doing it right?

947
01:01:41.280 --> 01:01:46.960
Am I hearing it right? You know, there's more, there's more grace. There's more freedom. There's

948
01:01:46.960 --> 01:01:52.960
more fun. There's more flow. There's more movement. Um, it's not a static. It's not as

949
01:01:52.960 --> 01:01:58.720
cumbersome. It's not as heavy. It's not so much, there's not as much quote unquote, right. And

950
01:01:58.720 --> 01:02:05.120
wrong. Sometimes it's just like, well, that's not right or wrong. It's just, it's just, I don't

951
01:02:05.120 --> 01:02:12.960
know. It's just an action. And so which one does God want you to do, you know? So, um, but anyway,

952
01:02:12.960 --> 01:02:20.240
so did you have any thoughts or questions or anything? No, I'm, I'm, I'm happy. I'm happy

953
01:02:20.240 --> 01:02:26.000
with my, I'm happy with my homework. Okay. Good. Good. Well, I'm glad because it was supposed to

954
01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:32.880
be very happy and, and all about freedom and everything that we all want to hear that we're

955
01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:38.720
enough and like, Hey, what is it that you want to do? Go think about that and then try to make it

956
01:02:38.720 --> 01:02:46.480
happen. Yes. So anyway, yeah. Well, thank you so much, Ashley. I appreciate it. You're welcome.

957
01:02:46.480 --> 01:02:50.480
And, um, I don't like to put any pressure on people or anything, so I'm not going to tell

958
01:02:50.480 --> 01:02:56.240
you like, okay, now pick something by, by Thursday, but what else is Monday? Like pick something by

959
01:02:56.240 --> 01:03:02.640
Thursday and let me know. But just, just kind of put that in the back of your mind of kind of like,

960
01:03:02.720 --> 01:03:09.840
okay, you decide when that time is and you, um, and I, and I would love to get to hear

961
01:03:09.840 --> 01:03:14.240
like something that you've decided to do and that you actually just went out and just

962
01:03:14.240 --> 01:03:19.760
made yourself do it. And so, and, um, if that's, if that's helpful or not, because I would just,

963
01:03:19.760 --> 01:03:24.000
like I said, I don't want to put pressure on people. Um, I always want people to feel safe,

964
01:03:24.640 --> 01:03:30.160
but I also kind of want to give them something that if they, that, um, I don't know that might

965
01:03:30.160 --> 01:03:36.720
kind of help them, um, feel like, um, almost like that they have permission to actually now

966
01:03:36.720 --> 01:03:41.440
go do the thing as opposed to, oh, it's a possibility out there. No, it's like,

967
01:03:41.440 --> 01:03:48.160
I want them to feel, grab a hold of, of my excitement for them as permission to then go

968
01:03:48.160 --> 01:03:53.760
do it. And then I personally would love to hear about it, but yeah, no, no, it's encouraging. Um,

969
01:03:54.480 --> 01:04:01.040
yes, I will plan something short shortly. Yeah. I'm excited. In fact, speaking of that,

970
01:04:01.040 --> 01:04:04.160
I need to check in on that other friend too, with the rest intensive and check.

971
01:04:04.880 --> 01:04:11.520
What have you decided? Yeah. Are there any other people in Texas? Like, and then we kind of like,

972
01:04:11.520 --> 01:04:19.440
I totally forgot where everybody is. Um, when we did a little thing, like anybody else in Texas?

973
01:04:19.440 --> 01:04:25.040
Well, yeah, there are, um, but there's not any that are like in the current active group. There

974
01:04:25.040 --> 01:04:33.920
are in the lifetime members group though, there are two people. I have actually connected Kim

975
01:04:33.920 --> 01:04:41.920
Wheeler with a couple that has, um, that has done one of my past rest intensives before.

976
01:04:41.920 --> 01:04:45.840
Oh yeah. She mentioned that. Yeah. So I've connected them and there's another,

977
01:04:45.840 --> 01:04:49.920
and I actually connected her with another couple, another lady as well. She and her husband,

978
01:04:49.920 --> 01:04:54.480
but I don't think that they and Kim have gotten together, but she's part of the lifetime members

979
01:04:54.480 --> 01:04:59.760
group. Her name is Renee Davidson. So she's in the group. If you go to go look for also.

980
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.400
Amy Davis, uh, not a Davis, Amy Hayes.

981
01:05:03.760 --> 01:05:05.000
She's in DFW.

982
01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:07.840
She is an Allen, I believe.

983
01:05:08.160 --> 01:05:08.480
Okay.

984
01:05:08.480 --> 01:05:10.520
So it's pretty far from probably where you are.

985
01:05:10.520 --> 01:05:10.960
Where are you?

986
01:05:12.080 --> 01:05:13.120
I'm in Bedford.

987
01:05:13.120 --> 01:05:15.640
I'm right between, um, Dallas and Fort Worth.

988
01:05:16.040 --> 01:05:16.360
Okay.

989
01:05:16.360 --> 01:05:17.880
So yeah, it's an hour.

990
01:05:17.880 --> 01:05:20.520
I used to live in ULIS off of one 21 in Glade.

991
01:05:20.880 --> 01:05:21.840
Yeah, right there.

992
01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:23.080
Yeah, just right there.

993
01:05:23.080 --> 01:05:26.480
You know, where all of those shopping malls are now that I'm like, oh, this

994
01:05:26.480 --> 01:05:28.360
would have been so nice when I was here.

995
01:05:28.360 --> 01:05:32.320
It was not that built up when I was there, but, um, I was there maybe.

996
01:05:32.920 --> 01:05:34.360
I left there 10 years ago.

997
01:05:34.400 --> 01:05:38.360
So it's built up a lot since I was there, but it was, it

998
01:05:38.360 --> 01:05:39.840
was such a special apartment.

999
01:05:40.160 --> 01:05:42.280
I was there with my dog, but anyway.

1000
01:05:42.320 --> 01:05:48.760
Um, but, uh, so Amy lives in Allen and Renee Davidson lives in

1001
01:05:48.760 --> 01:05:52.920
prosper, um, you know, just way out there.

1002
01:05:53.520 --> 01:06:00.800
Yeah, it's like North, um, like in between Denton and Allen.

1003
01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:04.680
So it's like way up there anyway.

1004
01:06:04.680 --> 01:06:07.720
So she's in prosper and I'm trying to think of someone else.

1005
01:06:07.720 --> 01:06:12.760
My sister is in the rest intensive Audra Holsworth and she's in Arlington.

1006
01:06:14.160 --> 01:06:18.600
And yeah, and that's all that I can think of at the moment.

1007
01:06:18.600 --> 01:06:20.560
But, um, I think you'd like my sister.

1008
01:06:21.120 --> 01:06:23.120
She, she is very different from me.

1009
01:06:25.120 --> 01:06:28.080
You just go on the, on the group and just look her up and you'll be

1010
01:06:28.080 --> 01:06:29.320
like, that is your sister.

1011
01:06:29.320 --> 01:06:30.960
Like, yes, that is my sister.

1012
01:06:31.720 --> 01:06:34.840
Um, yeah, she's, she's the one with all the tattoos.

1013
01:06:36.640 --> 01:06:37.960
That's just not me.

1014
01:06:38.360 --> 01:06:42.080
She's the, all the fantasy novels and all that is just, that's just not me.

1015
01:06:42.720 --> 01:06:46.280
Um, but, uh, anyway, so all of those people are in TFW.

1016
01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:51.960
Anyway, there's a lot of people in the community, you know, like, um, I don't

1017
01:06:51.960 --> 01:06:58.320
know, people who are really trying to learn and stretch more into what God

1018
01:06:58.320 --> 01:07:02.040
has for us, the sense of God in our identity, a sense of God, there's a lot

1019
01:07:02.040 --> 01:07:05.920
of this, a lot in DFW and that's a lot.

1020
01:07:05.920 --> 01:07:06.200
Yeah.

1021
01:07:06.240 --> 01:07:08.360
Not all in the rest intensive, but yeah, there's a lot.

1022
01:07:08.360 --> 01:07:12.240
And some of them are like, you know, what they refer to as mystics and like

1023
01:07:12.240 --> 01:07:16.240
follow certain people, certain like teachers, you know, and they're

1024
01:07:16.680 --> 01:07:18.040
different pockets of groups.

1025
01:07:18.600 --> 01:07:22.840
And, um, so a lot of those teachers end up coming to DFW because there's so many

1026
01:07:22.840 --> 01:07:24.640
people, there's so many groups of people.

1027
01:07:24.800 --> 01:07:26.040
So, oh, okay.

1028
01:07:26.360 --> 01:07:29.600
But yeah, but, um, the people that I mentioned are the people in the rest

1029
01:07:29.600 --> 01:07:31.800
intensive, so, okay.

1030
01:07:32.680 --> 01:07:33.760
No, no, no, no, no.

1031
01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:37.480
I meant like in our current one, so not in the current one.

1032
01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:38.000
No.

1033
01:07:38.080 --> 01:07:42.800
Um, I'm trying to remember where is everybody.

1034
01:07:42.800 --> 01:07:51.160
I mean, obviously it's just, it's Georgia and Texas and Illinois, California.

1035
01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:52.760
Yeah, that's right.

1036
01:07:52.760 --> 01:07:54.960
There's California, Montana.

1037
01:07:55.600 --> 01:07:56.440
Oh yeah.

1038
01:07:56.440 --> 01:07:57.240
So everybody, yeah.

1039
01:07:57.240 --> 01:07:58.440
Casey's in Montana.

1040
01:07:59.280 --> 01:08:02.920
I'm trying to remember where I'm missing somebody.

1041
01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:06.760
Sicily is in Kansas.

1042
01:08:07.120 --> 01:08:08.240
Sicily's in Kansas.

1043
01:08:08.560 --> 01:08:12.080
So anyway, but yeah, everybody's kind of, I hadn't thought about that.

1044
01:08:12.160 --> 01:08:14.120
I think everybody's a different state.

1045
01:08:14.600 --> 01:08:15.320
Yeah, they are.

1046
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:16.120
Oh, wait a minute.

1047
01:08:16.120 --> 01:08:21.479
Except Kate, Kate and Christine are both in California.

1048
01:08:21.760 --> 01:08:26.840
Kate is in Redding, you know, in near Bethel and then Chris, I

1049
01:08:26.840 --> 01:08:28.080
don't remember where Chris is.

1050
01:08:29.319 --> 01:08:31.600
I don't remember why I can't remember where Chris is, but anyway,

1051
01:08:31.800 --> 01:08:34.279
maybe near the San Francisco.

1052
01:08:34.399 --> 01:08:36.080
I don't remember San something Bay.

1053
01:08:36.080 --> 01:08:37.160
She was just talking about it.

1054
01:08:37.600 --> 01:08:38.800
But anyway, yeah.

1055
01:08:39.359 --> 01:08:43.120
Well, it was good to get to visit with you and I hope that you were

1056
01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:45.640
encouraged and, and I'm excited.

1057
01:08:45.640 --> 01:08:50.080
I think that it will, um, greatly, you know, this is what helps me with

1058
01:08:50.080 --> 01:08:55.720
my breakthrough was to, uh, was to do stuff like this, like, what do I want to do?

1059
01:08:55.720 --> 01:08:57.600
And then I would try to start doing those things.

1060
01:08:57.880 --> 01:09:02.080
I would check with the Lord, make sure I wasn't hearing a no, you know, and,

1061
01:09:02.560 --> 01:09:05.200
and, uh, but I wasn't hearing the Lord very well back then.

1062
01:09:05.279 --> 01:09:06.840
So, and I was kind of mad at him.

1063
01:09:06.880 --> 01:09:10.800
And then I would just move forward, but, um, it's always best if you hear a,

1064
01:09:10.840 --> 01:09:17.279
hear a yes and your freedom and here we go, but anyway, so, all right, well,

1065
01:09:17.279 --> 01:09:17.960
I'll let you go.

1066
01:09:17.960 --> 01:09:19.120
It's good to see you, Rita.

1067
01:09:19.600 --> 01:09:20.279
You too, Ashley.

1068
01:09:20.279 --> 01:09:21.120
Thank you so much.

1069
01:09:21.120 --> 01:09:21.439
All right.

1070
01:09:21.439 --> 01:09:22.000
Bye.