WEBVTT

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I can hear you but I can't see you.

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Oh, sorry.

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Oh, there you are.

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Okay.

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Hey, is it yellow doesn't yellow.

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Yes, but it always does.

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The light bulb.

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Yeah, it looks like yellow, gray, green sometimes it's kind of interesting.

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Position of the camera.

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How are you.

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I'm good. How are you doing good.

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I'm good.

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Did you have anything you wanted to start us off with tonight, or like,

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how are you doing.

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How are things going.

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I don't remember if this is our last session or if it's like, no,

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it's our second to last session because you've got another one.

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Friday.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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So after our session,

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I decided to do like an in house garden.

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And I couldn't find it. And so I stayed up late doing that.

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And then.

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Doing what.

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Kind of fine.

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A fun thing to do.

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Place to travel.

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But everything's.

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Yeah.

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So I guess I decided to do like an in-house garden.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. Like, like an herb garden or like just in pots and stuff.

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That's neat.

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An apartment.

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Okay. Okay.

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And so you've got some access to some light.

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You know, for the herb garden stuff, you know,

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where you're going to put it.

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A little bit.

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I don't know.

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Do I need a lot of light?

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I don't know. It just depends on the herbs. I mean,

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I don't know if I need a lot of light.

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I don't know if I need a ton of light.

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I don't know if I need a ton of sunlight.

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And the other herbs I don't know.

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But yeah.

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Yeah.

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I'll figure it out later. So when I work, actually gave me some.

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So I can read it and try that way.

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Right.

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Well, I'm excited for you.

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Thank you.

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That's a fun thing to start with.

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Yeah.

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I am. I had a, I like.

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Plants, but,

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but I didn't know how to do it.

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And so I was like, okay, well, I'll do it.

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And so I came in and Ed and I got married.

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And it just never happened.

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Oh, yeah.

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I could do like the cold.

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The coal plants, like, you know, pansies and things like that.

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But I'm just like, no, I've just kind of got.

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Other things to do net right now. So in fact, what I did just now,

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I put a little, I say a little.

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A cabinet to go in the bathroom.

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And we're not going to put it over the toilet,

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but it's one of those that you put over it. You know, it's about.

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I don't know about two feet high and about a foot and a half wide.

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And it's got three shelves.

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And so it's got plenty of room in there.

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So it's bigger than a medicine cabinet.

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It's like stuff that you've like.

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You know,

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I've never been able to get a cabinet that's that big in my apartment.

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So just that little bitty thing I am so

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ridiculously excited about.

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Because right now we have some things in drawers that are sitting on

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the floor of the bathroom because it's just what he had.

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And I'm like, no, no go. We're going to get a little white.

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I've got that to like, start fixing stuff up.

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So that's my little project these days.

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Yeah.

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Well, thank you, Ben.

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My goodness, you.

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You put in your, since we talked to last,

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you put in your two weeks notice and got a tremendous raise.

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Exciting.

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What was your, what was your journey?

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Like going through all of that, getting to that, going through that.

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Well, before that, like I had just like,

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I was like, I don't know.

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I was like, I don't know.

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It's not fun, but you know, whatever.

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Right.

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And actually.

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Somebody had put in there two weeks.

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Like a week before.

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Yeah. And I was like, yeah, they got the right idea, but yeah, just.

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I guess I did kind of get sucked into some drama at work.

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Yeah.

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And then by when.

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or like, you know, it wasn't planned, like, them even like

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offering anything. Yeah. But, um, and then, yeah, like, I

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posted, um, I just, I was fine. Like, I was at peace with it.

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I'm like, the Lord's gonna take care of me. But then everybody

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else is like, well, what about this and all these worldly

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things? You need this, you know, it's not a wise decision. It's

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hard to like, get employed if you're unemployed. And I was

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like, okay, whatever. But eventually, it started getting

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to me. And I mean, it's only within a day's time, like, by

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the next day, like, by Friday. So two days later, they offered

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me, um, you know, big thing to stay.

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Wow, that's crazy. So how did you feel about the about the big

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thing? I mean,

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I just, I almost thought it was unbelievable. Like, there's no

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way. I was like, there's no way they would do that. So I and my

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boss even tried to go bigger. I'm like, what are you really

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trying to get me here or get me? That's, that's why I'm like,

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she, you know, she loves she loves people, but she is about

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business. So I don't know. So all these negative thoughts

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started coming to mind. Like, she said she was leaving. And

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then she said she's not and then she is. And I was like, she's

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playing with my emotions, or at least she was trying to. And

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then, you know, when I started to say I was leaving, then that

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started, that added to it, too. So a lot of drama.

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That's what it sounds like. My goodness. Anyway, well, well, I

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am so excited for you. And that, you know, that, that you got to

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Well, let me ask you, what did you feel like your journey was

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with the Lord light during that time? I know that you said that

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you found you had peace when you did it? Did you feel

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direction from the Lord? Or did you just build an opening to do

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it? Or, you know, what was that whole journey like?

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Well, I feel like when I kind of made that decision, and like the

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few days afterward, I wasn't really connecting with him. That

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makes sense. And then when I just said yes, because they gave

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me the offer. And then I was just like, Oh, my God. What did

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I? Why am I say? Yes. I mean, I know I'm saying yes. But I guess

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I, I am doing enough, or I guess I am validated. Yeah. Yeah.

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That sounds like you're very much wanted, which was Yes.

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exciting to have that affirmation. You know, yeah. You

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have your word, your value. And so that's great. Yeah, but I

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didn't really start to like, experience him or really seek

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him until after I made the decision. Like, yeah, I was

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just felt like a heavy, like, I felt it in my chest again, that

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anxiety. And, you know, I cried a little bit Friday. And then

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like, Saturday, I finally got all of the negative things out.

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I let my soul have it. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. And I didn't

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realize that's what it was. And now it was good to get it out. I

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told my friend, I was like, Yes, I got all of it out because we

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had an hour drive. And everybody else is going to be a positive

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thing, because I really just need to, you know, process it

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later. And I don't want to just, you know, put all this bad stuff

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on it. And then I was actually at Kim Wheeler's house, her and

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her husband had their own little living water. So they were just

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teaching and I was just trying to focus on my oneness. And I

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could feel him and I could feel like, yeah, you know, new, new

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word, new revelation, just just feeding my spirit. And then I

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was like, Lord, how do you? How do you want me to sleep? Because

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I've not been sleeping well. And he told me to go get my

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weighted blanket that's been in the closet. And I slept for 10

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hours. And it was very nice. That's great. Yeah, because ever

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since I think Tuesday night, when you gave me that

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assignment, I was like, I haven't slept. And then woke up

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and I asked him, I was like, What do you want me to do? And

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then I went and let him bring me out. That's, that's what I say,

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just like, get all the negative things out with him. And he put

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in the right things. And so that's wonderful. And that was

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Sunday. Mm hmm. That's great. Well, I noticed a huge, what is

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today's today? Monday. So yes, this was yesterday. I noticed a

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huge difference in you last night. Just huge.

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Cause I mean, you didn't even say anything.

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I was just watching.

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I'm like, oh my word.

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She's so different.

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It was like, you remember how I'd seen you as if you were just, you

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were restrained as if you were bound.

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I didn't see you in a straight jacket.

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It was that kind of an idea of like, you were just bound.

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It was like self-inflicted, you know, smallness and restriction.

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And so this was the opposite.

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This was, you had opened and you were, you were excited and you felt more freedom

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and you felt more secure.

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And anyway, so I was, I was absolutely thrilled where it sounded like that you

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were felt like you were last night, you know, from what you'd just been through

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and been able to see and experience the Lord, um, you know, just that he's got

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good things for you that he, you know, looks, um, he looks lovingly and kindly

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towards you and that there's not everything to hope for, um, you know,

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in the future with him and all that.

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So I'm very excited.

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Thank you.

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Yeah, I am too.

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I'm like, oh, and even when I'm talking to people, I can tell like

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when it's flowing out of me too.

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Yes.

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Isn't that amazing?

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Oh, I'm excited.

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Yeah.

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So, uh, was there anything that you wanted, um, you're thinking about

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wanting to go over tonight or, I don't know, ask or I don't know, kind of muse

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over or, um, I don't know why I never have questions.

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But then when anybody else asks questions, I was like, oh yeah, that'd be good.

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That's that's me too.

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That's my problem too.

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So I don't, yeah, I guess I just, I guess I want to know.

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So the next steps is really just continuing to like seek my desires and seek him.

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And I mean, I kind of read, I tried to hurry up and read your post, um, how

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you were encouraging me.

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Um, to just, um, be with him more, or I guess I don't mind if you like expand

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on, or just tell me what you posted.

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I didn't remember.

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So, okay.

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Nevermind.

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Because, well, no, I can look back.

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It's just that I don't remember off the top of my head.

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I'm assuming, um, let's see.

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Uh, let's see here.

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Maybe it was here.

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Um, was it, oh yeah.

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Okay.

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Just keep presenting yourself to him and allow him to show you that he

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is what you can't see that he is.

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Um, in other words, you can't always, you know, actually see it, you

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know, it's the evidence or whatever, but you allow him to show you what

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he is that you can't see that he is.

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Receive it as truth first, and then let him reveal himself to you.

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He will dismantle those lies and you'll be free because that's what you were

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saying that you were doing is that you were going to the Lord and then just

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letting your soul yap, you know, and bring up the, and then God began to,

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uh, God brought a teaching to you.

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So you felt peace.

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She's still on.

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Okay.

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Oh, I, I sat, I listened and sat with him and, and oh, did he render my heart?

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He told, I told him he was safe, even though I was being wrung out and I

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didn't stop it and I didn't run away.

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So that's what I was saying.

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That's great.

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Because you were choosing that.

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If he said that he was a safe place, you were, you were choosing to believe

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it and then act on it by staying there because it's safe.

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Well, then you'll stay there and you won't run away.

246
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So that's what you were doing.

247
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And you said you didn't stop it and run away and you just sat and let him tell

248
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me who I am to him.

249
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And I said it so I could hear it.

250
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That is great.

251
00:13:59.080 --> 00:14:02.520
And then I loved how you mentioned that he's so wonderful and lovely and kind to

252
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bring me to the truth, no matter how unpleasant that it feels.

253
00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:07.880
That was great.

254
00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:12.880
So, yeah, I was very, very excited for you because, so in other words, you were

255
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doing it, you were, you're taking those steps, you're allowing the Lord himself

256
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and, and presenting yourself to him.

257
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You're allowing him to reveal to you who he is.

258
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And there's a way in which you're presenting himself, presenting yourself

259
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to him, choosing that he is who he says that he is, and then just wanting, and

260
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then just presenting yourself to him in a way that he can like show up and he can

261
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reveal himself, but not in proof, but rather in to prove it to you, but rather

262
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after you've chosen to receive it, you've chosen to already to put yourself in a

263
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position, so to speak, where, where he, where you're relying on him to be who it

264
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is that he says that he is, in order for him to show up like that, because

265
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you're no longer trying to create it and provide it for yourself.

266
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So anyway, I thought that that was great.

267
00:15:06.800 --> 00:15:11.240
Um, so did you have any, so did that help clarify, or did you have any more

268
00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:16.040
questions about that or what, how that works or no, that helped it because

269
00:15:17.080 --> 00:15:21.360
you said, yeah, when you say a lot of issues and a lot of things, I was like,

270
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wait, which helps.

271
00:15:23.560 --> 00:15:24.120
Yeah.

272
00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:26.080
Yeah.

273
00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:26.600
That he is.

274
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He says that he is.

275
00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:27.840
Yeah.

276
00:15:29.040 --> 00:15:29.960
Yeah, exactly.

277
00:15:30.320 --> 00:15:35.760
So I was just, it was just commending you that you were having

278
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faith in it and then acting on it.

279
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He says that he's safe.

280
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So you're going to choose it and you're going to choose it to the

281
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point that you then act on it.

282
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Meaning that you put yourself in his presence because if he's safe, well,

283
00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:50.800
then you're going to put himself yourself there and then you will allow him to

284
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show up however he wants to, and then allow his presence, his love, his

285
00:15:56.160 --> 00:16:03.880
character, to, to change you, to transform you, to topple those lies, to

286
00:16:03.920 --> 00:16:07.000
reveal in stronger measure, the truth.

287
00:16:07.560 --> 00:16:09.120
And that's what will change everything.

288
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And that's what, that's so much of what it is that I did as well.

289
00:16:13.720 --> 00:16:20.680
That changed things is I was just making these very basic choices of what God was.

290
00:16:21.240 --> 00:16:22.760
They weren't complicated.

291
00:16:22.760 --> 00:16:24.840
They weren't all of, they weren't nuanced.

292
00:16:24.880 --> 00:16:27.000
Oh, well, he's this and this and this.

293
00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:28.320
It was just like the big things.

294
00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:29.440
He's safe.

295
00:16:29.480 --> 00:16:30.280
He's love.

296
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He's good.

297
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He's protector.

298
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He's provided those things.

299
00:16:33.400 --> 00:16:37.880
And I would just continue to go back to him as those things, thinking

300
00:16:38.160 --> 00:16:39.760
if he is that, what would I do?

301
00:16:40.160 --> 00:16:41.600
How would I interact with him?

302
00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:46.560
And then when I treated him, when I believed him to be that, and I interacted

303
00:16:46.560 --> 00:16:53.120
with him as if he was those things, then I began to change in all kinds of areas of my life.

304
00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:56.560
He began to show up and reveal himself more and more to be those things.

305
00:16:56.920 --> 00:16:59.960
And then began to kind of like flesh out what all those things mean.

306
00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.600
What does it mean if God's protector, what does it mean if God's provider?

307
00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:07.839
So he took his character and he began to manifest it in multiple areas of my life.

308
00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:11.560
He began to manifest that provision, that protection, that safety,

309
00:17:11.560 --> 00:17:13.359
that goodness, that love, whatever.

310
00:17:13.760 --> 00:17:16.280
And all I'm doing is I'm choosing the big things.

311
00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:22.000
And I'm presenting myself to him in faith that he is those things.

312
00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:27.760
And then just waiting to see, well, how does that, what does that look like when it shows up?

313
00:17:28.760 --> 00:17:35.520
Because I don't get to choose because again, I choose his character and that he is that thing.

314
00:17:35.600 --> 00:17:37.880
Not that he shows up in a specific way.

315
00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:43.600
Not that that character shows up like, oh, well then he'll do these things in my life.

316
00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:45.000
I get that up.

317
00:17:45.280 --> 00:17:51.720
I was just choosing what he was and then was watching to see how we was that thing into my life.

318
00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:54.280
Not was he going to do these things for me?

319
00:17:54.760 --> 00:17:55.160
Right.

320
00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:55.440
Right.

321
00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:59.280
And so that is what made, so in other words, it was very simple.

322
00:17:59.560 --> 00:18:04.760
I wasn't presenting specific things to him all the time of like, well, God, you know, how are you going to meet this?

323
00:18:05.040 --> 00:18:06.400
And we'll go, well, what about this one?

324
00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:07.720
Or what about this relationship?

325
00:18:07.720 --> 00:18:09.000
Or what about this situation?

326
00:18:09.000 --> 00:18:19.120
And it was, it wasn't a presenting the kingdom's principles and wanting to know, okay, God, what is your response to that?

327
00:18:19.280 --> 00:18:22.640
What's the kingdom response to all of these specific situations?

328
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.640
It was more just, I just approached him very broadly.

329
00:18:26.040 --> 00:18:30.160
And so that's what I was commending you for what it is that you were doing.

330
00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:31.040
That's what you were doing.

331
00:18:31.040 --> 00:18:35.080
You weren't presenting these, you weren't focused on these specific pain points.

332
00:18:35.840 --> 00:18:39.720
Like, okay, well, God, who are you compared to these pain points?

333
00:18:39.760 --> 00:18:41.480
What, how are you going to fix this pain point?

334
00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:43.120
What are you going to do about this pain point?

335
00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:45.040
You're just like, okay, forget the pain point.

336
00:18:45.520 --> 00:18:46.520
God, who are you?

337
00:18:46.800 --> 00:18:47.880
I'm going to act on that.

338
00:18:48.600 --> 00:18:55.640
And then to watch, to see what areas of your life that he wants to touch and be who he says that he is, that you're trusting in.

339
00:18:56.040 --> 00:18:58.680
How does he want to be that thing into those situations?

340
00:18:58.680 --> 00:18:59.560
And then what is it?

341
00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:01.920
How does it affect those situations?

342
00:19:01.920 --> 00:19:05.600
How does his character end up changing them or affecting them or whatever?

343
00:19:06.520 --> 00:19:12.120
But, um, so the reason I was commending you for that is it's very hard to do.

344
00:19:12.560 --> 00:19:24.320
It's hard to choose God, um, and faith in these big generalities of his character, that he's safe, that he's good, that he's loving, he's a protector.

345
00:19:24.600 --> 00:19:37.240
When we're, when we're tempted to think very detailedly and specific about specific pain points that, that as if God is only as good to us as how he can meet our specific demands.

346
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:42.360
And instead you were abandoning the demands and choosing him instead.

347
00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:44.200
And that will make all of the difference.

348
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:45.960
And that's very difficult to do.

349
00:19:46.640 --> 00:20:00.040
And so you were giving, you were sacrificing and giving up and releasing and letting go of the details and the specifics and releasing God of being accountable to you for how he.

350
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.040
handle them and instead just choosing him. So I was saying that was great.

351
00:20:05.040 --> 00:20:07.960
And if you keep doing that, that'll change everything.

352
00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:11.760
And then God will continue to expand his character to you,

353
00:20:11.760 --> 00:20:13.560
continue to reveal that to you.

354
00:20:13.800 --> 00:20:17.800
So you'll learn more about who he is and you'll step into more of who he is.

355
00:20:17.800 --> 00:20:21.080
And then he'll start manifesting that more of his character into your life.

356
00:20:21.080 --> 00:20:25.000
And then you see even more of them, you know? And, um, so yeah,

357
00:20:25.800 --> 00:20:28.320
it was a really, really big deal. What it is you were doing.

358
00:20:28.320 --> 00:20:33.320
No, no, I appreciate that. Cause that helped flush out

359
00:20:34.120 --> 00:20:37.640
the pain stuff too. Yeah. You know, that, that he brought up.

360
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:41.600
So just continuing to choose him and not even focus on

361
00:20:42.320 --> 00:20:46.680
those, those things coming up. Yeah. Yeah. Well it's, and you know,

362
00:20:46.680 --> 00:20:50.880
it's not that you can't present those pain points in those,

363
00:20:50.920 --> 00:20:52.000
in those things, Tim,

364
00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:56.640
it's that you don't ever want to throw them at him in the

365
00:20:56.640 --> 00:21:01.040
accusation that they are more important than he is. And then he is,

366
00:21:01.040 --> 00:21:06.200
and then you want him to address those. Like, like you require you emotionally,

367
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:07.840
your, your relationship with him,

368
00:21:07.840 --> 00:21:11.720
you were emotionally requiring him to answer you or to, to whatever.

369
00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:16.080
You can present them to him like a child, like, Lord, this hurts.

370
00:21:17.120 --> 00:21:20.440
And can you tell me anything about it? Can you give me any comfort?

371
00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:23.960
Can you give me any direction, that kind of thing? And so that's fine,

372
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:28.200
but we don't ever want to focus so much on the pain that we're focusing more on

373
00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:29.160
the pain than on God.

374
00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:34.080
And we're making the pain and it's resolution or it's solving

375
00:21:34.080 --> 00:21:38.920
of a problem as more important than just God and us learning how

376
00:21:38.920 --> 00:21:42.960
to be a, one of his sons, like, like, well,

377
00:21:42.960 --> 00:21:46.920
who is he and who does he say that I am? And how do I step into that?

378
00:21:46.920 --> 00:21:49.360
How do I mature in that? How do I live like that?

379
00:21:49.840 --> 00:21:53.080
We want that to always be more important than the other.

380
00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:55.120
And if we're always,

381
00:21:55.600 --> 00:21:58.920
if we're abandoning that to focus on all of these other things,

382
00:21:58.920 --> 00:21:59.680
all of the time,

383
00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:02.800
and always being presenting those things before the Lord is that that's the only

384
00:22:02.800 --> 00:22:06.200
thing that God is good for to us in our world,

385
00:22:07.280 --> 00:22:10.560
then that's the problem. And,

386
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.480
but if you can keep a healthy perspective on it,

387
00:22:15.280 --> 00:22:18.120
on the pain and not be choosing the pain over God, well, in it, yeah,

388
00:22:18.120 --> 00:22:21.520
you can present all those things to Lord, talk to him about it or whatever.

389
00:22:21.880 --> 00:22:22.920
Some people though,

390
00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:27.360
can't hold the balance and they're so hurt that they

391
00:22:27.360 --> 00:22:28.200
can't,

392
00:22:29.040 --> 00:22:33.480
they can't think about and hold the pain before God without accusing him

393
00:22:34.360 --> 00:22:37.800
and without choosing the pain is more and it's resolution.

394
00:22:37.800 --> 00:22:42.280
And God answering them about what happened and why

395
00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:44.280
and whatever they can't,

396
00:22:44.640 --> 00:22:49.160
they can't hold the pain before the Lord without choosing it over him.

397
00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:53.720
But if we're choosing him over the pain, and then we just present it, Lord,

398
00:22:53.720 --> 00:22:56.800
you know, could you address this or Lord, what do I do with this or whatever?

399
00:22:56.800 --> 00:23:00.320
Well, that's fine. He just, you know, even Jesus did that,

400
00:23:00.600 --> 00:23:04.080
but see Jesus never sinned. And so just like in the garden of Gethsemane,

401
00:23:04.080 --> 00:23:06.840
he told the Lord what it is that he wanted. He wanted to,

402
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:11.560
he wanted the cap cup to pass from him and he agonized and he struggled,

403
00:23:11.600 --> 00:23:14.360
but Jesus never sinned. So in other words,

404
00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:19.680
he never made the choice of the pain and the avoidance

405
00:23:19.760 --> 00:23:22.160
of it over God himself,

406
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:26.520
but he still talked to God about it and told him what it is that he wanted,

407
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:30.840
but he didn't use his pain and accusation against the Lord. Like, God,

408
00:23:30.840 --> 00:23:32.320
I want you to address this.

409
00:23:33.040 --> 00:23:36.840
I'm emotionally holding you accountable for addressing this and like telling me,

410
00:23:36.840 --> 00:23:40.440
you know, why you did this to me or why you're requiring this of me,

411
00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:41.960
or, you know, just whatever.

412
00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:46.960
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so it's very good learning to be like Jesus.

413
00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:53.600
So, um, what else, um,

414
00:23:53.600 --> 00:23:57.600
has there been anything else that you've been thinking about or anything that's

415
00:23:57.600 --> 00:24:02.600
been coming up with other people's questions or how's life like going,

416
00:24:04.040 --> 00:24:04.880
you know?

417
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:08.960
Well, I don't really have much else going on, but sometimes work.

418
00:24:09.160 --> 00:24:12.800
Well, I don't really have much else going on, but sometimes work. Yeah.

419
00:24:13.400 --> 00:24:17.040
Got one kid out of the house and he's good. And then the little one,

420
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.840
I think he's avoiding me, but they do it at that age, 13.

421
00:24:22.840 --> 00:24:26.960
So I always see 13 and then the older one, 18,

422
00:24:27.320 --> 00:24:28.960
18. It's in college.

423
00:24:31.080 --> 00:24:34.560
That's interesting. I didn't remember you had to, I thought you only had one.

424
00:24:35.280 --> 00:24:37.320
Mm. Okay. Um,

425
00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:42.440
I don't know if the one started staying with me around that time.

426
00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:46.160
Yeah. The other one that stays with his father. Yeah.

427
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:50.880
The older one stays with his father.

428
00:24:51.560 --> 00:24:54.560
No, the older one was staying with me. Oh.

429
00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:57.520
And then he moved out to college and the little,

430
00:24:57.560 --> 00:24:59.680
the little one staying with his father. Yeah.

431
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:00.360
Okay.

432
00:25:02.760 --> 00:25:05.440
So, and how, I don't remember the story.

433
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:07.200
How long have you been divorced?

434
00:25:08.920 --> 00:25:10.120
2011.

435
00:25:10.520 --> 00:25:10.920
Okay.

436
00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:11.240
Okay.

437
00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:12.160
So quite a long time.

438
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:12.720
Yeah.

439
00:25:13.120 --> 00:25:13.600
Oh, okay.

440
00:25:13.760 --> 00:25:14.040
Okay.

441
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:15.520
Yeah.

442
00:25:16.120 --> 00:25:18.560
Well, is the father in town to y'all?

443
00:25:18.560 --> 00:25:19.120
Oh yeah.

444
00:25:19.320 --> 00:25:19.560
Yeah.

445
00:25:19.760 --> 00:25:20.120
City.

446
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:20.920
Well, that's nice.

447
00:25:21.320 --> 00:25:21.560
Yeah.

448
00:25:21.560 --> 00:25:25.360
How does he need to get to see your, you know, seeing your kids and, and

449
00:25:25.360 --> 00:25:29.520
swapping and stuff like that is, um, it's closer, that's really.

450
00:25:30.760 --> 00:25:33.880
Um, it's much nicer than being in separate cities and stuff like

451
00:25:33.880 --> 00:25:35.560
that, having to travel then.

452
00:25:36.560 --> 00:25:36.840
Yeah.

453
00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:39.040
That's just hard to handle the children.

454
00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:42.400
So, yeah, I don't see how people do that, but yeah.

455
00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:51.400
So anyway, um, well, I think, I don't know.

456
00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:58.800
Um, uh, do you, uh, is there something, I don't really.

457
00:25:59.800 --> 00:26:04.040
I don't really get, I don't think I really have an imagination.

458
00:26:04.040 --> 00:26:08.120
I feel like, like, I can't see things except maybe in a dream.

459
00:26:08.560 --> 00:26:08.920
Okay.

460
00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:14.160
But other than that, I can't like the, like visual, visualize things.

461
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:18.760
I can think of it, but not actually like visualize it, if that makes sense.

462
00:26:19.320 --> 00:26:22.280
So when you close your eyes, you can't visualize something

463
00:26:22.280 --> 00:26:23.040
that you're thinking about.

464
00:26:23.040 --> 00:26:24.600
You can't visualize the story.

465
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:26.920
Oh, okay.

466
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:27.520
Fascinating.

467
00:26:27.520 --> 00:26:27.840
Okay.

468
00:26:28.520 --> 00:26:33.960
So what happens generally speaking is that everyone can do that.

469
00:26:34.480 --> 00:26:40.480
Um, and it's just that as they grow older, some people, some kids

470
00:26:40.600 --> 00:26:42.160
learn to start shutting it off.

471
00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:47.520
Because they somehow they just start, they don't either feel safe or they're,

472
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:50.880
or they're told that whenever they're playing and they're using their

473
00:26:50.880 --> 00:26:54.560
imagination or whatever that, well, that's just not real and it's whatever.

474
00:26:54.560 --> 00:26:56.600
And so they begin to kind of stifle things.

475
00:26:57.160 --> 00:26:59.400
Um, so, I mean, who knows?

476
00:26:59.400 --> 00:27:04.320
I mean, maybe that's what kind of happens somewhere along there, but, um, so one

477
00:27:04.320 --> 00:27:11.320
of the exercises that I have heard of, um, I've always had a really good

478
00:27:11.320 --> 00:27:15.000
imagination, so I didn't need this exercise, but this person that I was

479
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:18.840
learning from about like how to visualize Jesus, you know, on the screen

480
00:27:18.840 --> 00:27:24.200
of your imagination or whatever, he would work with people that didn't know how

481
00:27:24.200 --> 00:27:29.040
to visualize that were that their, their imaginations weren't as strong.

482
00:27:29.520 --> 00:27:32.720
And, um, for whatever reason, they were like, well, how do you do that?

483
00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:36.480
And so the way that he would do it is he would, he would tell them, okay,

484
00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:41.960
well get a real, just memorize your room, you know, just really memorize it,

485
00:27:41.960 --> 00:27:45.600
you know, take a look around at everything you said, and then close your

486
00:27:45.600 --> 00:27:47.880
eyes and then repicture that room.

487
00:27:48.760 --> 00:27:52.920
And then that will help begin to kind of like strengthen your ability to see

488
00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:54.520
things in your imagination.

489
00:27:54.880 --> 00:28:00.400
And then what he has people do is he said, and then you ask yourself, you ask Jesus,

490
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:02.640
Jesus, where are you in the room?

491
00:28:02.840 --> 00:28:04.480
And then just see where he appears.

492
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:05.720
Did he appear in the corner?

493
00:28:05.720 --> 00:28:07.440
Did he appear on the couch?

494
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:09.360
Did he appear standing on top of the table?

495
00:28:09.560 --> 00:28:10.680
Where did he appear?

496
00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:11.920
And then that'll begin.

497
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:13.360
And then you see what he does.

498
00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:20.600
You watch this, which is a jazz or, um, uh, or you put yourself in the room

499
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:22.840
and that he didn't say this, but I'm saying this, you know,

500
00:28:22.840 --> 00:28:25.800
if you don't want to be the observer and you want to actually see yourself,

501
00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:29.680
you can put yourself somewhere in the room and then watch yourself do something

502
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:32.080
like decide, okay, that's, I'm going to walk.

503
00:28:32.120 --> 00:28:34.720
I'm going to walk over to the couch and I'm going to sit down or I'm going to

504
00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:37.600
walk across the room and do dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, or I'm going to say

505
00:28:37.600 --> 00:28:41.400
something, you just kind of like, uh, you can kind of like practice like that.

506
00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:45.960
But the biggest thing is actually not even including, I don't want to say

507
00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:51.240
not including yourself, but not projecting onto the screen, but rather,

508
00:28:51.280 --> 00:28:57.320
uh, uh, the best thing is to just sit and observe to see what happens because

509
00:28:57.320 --> 00:29:00.040
then the Lord will actually reveal things to you that way.

510
00:29:00.040 --> 00:29:03.480
So just kind of like, you know, you get a picture, you know, you memorize

511
00:29:03.480 --> 00:29:06.320
your room and you close your eyes and then you repicture your room.

512
00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:08.880
And then you ask Jesus where he is in the room.

513
00:29:09.360 --> 00:29:10.960
And then you see what he does.

514
00:29:11.080 --> 00:29:15.040
Does he will, first of all, you recognize how he's dressed because he could appear

515
00:29:15.040 --> 00:29:19.840
in like a white shirt and blue jeans, or he could appear in his, um, you know,

516
00:29:19.840 --> 00:29:26.600
his single, single woven, uh, cloth, you know, robe, maybe with the sash or

517
00:29:26.600 --> 00:29:32.240
with a code or something, and, um, you know, like from the Bible, um, or he

518
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:33.600
could appear like some other way.

519
00:29:33.840 --> 00:29:35.920
I mean, I don't know, maybe he appears in swim trunks.

520
00:29:36.120 --> 00:29:36.640
I don't know.

521
00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:38.560
The Lord can do whatever he wants.

522
00:29:38.760 --> 00:29:42.640
Point is you see that how he presents himself and then you just, and then you

523
00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:44.440
watch to see what it is that he does.

524
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:45.800
Does he walk over to you?

525
00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:48.080
Does he hold his hand out to you?

526
00:29:48.080 --> 00:29:51.200
Does he beckon you or does he just stand there and look at you?

527
00:29:51.360 --> 00:29:55.360
Or does he look at the couch or does he go sit on the couch or you, so you just

528
00:29:55.360 --> 00:29:57.840
kind of watch, watch to see what he does.

529
00:29:57.840 --> 00:29:59.920
And then that, that is one of the.

530
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.680
ways in which God interacts with us in a way that allows us to anchor, um, anchor

531
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:10.800
our understanding too, is we can see it, we can see it on our, in our imagination.

532
00:30:10.800 --> 00:30:17.760
So it, um, anyway, so that's what I would recommend doing as a practice is using

533
00:30:17.760 --> 00:30:21.680
your, and that was based off of that other man's exercise, just memorizing

534
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:25.420
your room, close your eyes, picturing it, and then asking Jesus where he is.

535
00:30:25.420 --> 00:30:30.020
And then just watching him, watching to see how he reveals himself to you.

536
00:30:30.460 --> 00:30:36.540
Because what I did is, um, when I was first doing this, and this is before I

537
00:30:36.540 --> 00:30:41.620
heard about that guy's exercises about like, just because my imagination was

538
00:30:41.620 --> 00:30:44.860
very prolific, I had just used my imagination for my whole life.

539
00:30:45.420 --> 00:30:49.260
I'd kind of like escaped into my imagination whenever I

540
00:30:49.260 --> 00:30:50.620
needed to escape real life.

541
00:30:50.620 --> 00:30:52.700
So I always kept it fresh and going.

542
00:30:53.420 --> 00:30:54.780
And I thought everybody did.

543
00:30:54.780 --> 00:30:58.220
I thought everybody, um, maybe daydreamed as much as I did.

544
00:30:58.900 --> 00:31:02.620
Um, and then I've come to find out that no people, not everyone does.

545
00:31:03.700 --> 00:31:10.380
The thing is that what I was doing before I heard that guy's exercises is, um, I

546
00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:14.780
had heard about closing your eyes and, uh, probably through, I was through Chris

547
00:31:14.780 --> 00:31:18.740
Blackaby, you know, closing his eyes and imagining he was in heaven, et cetera.

548
00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:20.420
And so I thought, okay, let's do that.

549
00:31:21.140 --> 00:31:26.460
So I closed my eyes, imagined, you know, and then looked for Jesus, found Jesus,

550
00:31:26.460 --> 00:31:28.860
and then would watch him to see what Jesus would do.

551
00:31:29.420 --> 00:31:35.260
And one of the, and one of the ways that Jesus taught me how to handle those

552
00:31:35.260 --> 00:31:39.780
situations is I would, I would see him.

553
00:31:40.140 --> 00:31:47.940
And if he all of the sudden shrunk, then I knew that what had happened was that

554
00:31:47.940 --> 00:31:54.420
was his response to me projecting onto what was happening instead of simply

555
00:31:54.420 --> 00:31:57.420
observing, it was like, I want him to do this.

556
00:31:58.020 --> 00:32:03.300
I'm in manipulating my imagination to see it play out in a specific way, or I'm

557
00:32:03.300 --> 00:32:06.220
trying to pull something emotional from it.

558
00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:08.500
Like I want to him to love me.

559
00:32:08.500 --> 00:32:09.780
I want to feel love.

560
00:32:09.780 --> 00:32:13.300
So I'm going to make him in my imagination, love on me.

561
00:32:14.180 --> 00:32:17.500
Whenever I would do stuff like that, he would shrink immediately.

562
00:32:18.380 --> 00:32:21.540
And what he was basically showing me is these, like, Ashley, you're not

563
00:32:21.540 --> 00:32:23.340
allowing me to be as big as I am.

564
00:32:23.340 --> 00:32:28.980
And I can only present myself to you in a limited form that you are, that you

565
00:32:28.980 --> 00:32:31.620
were projecting onto the screen, so to speak.

566
00:32:32.660 --> 00:32:33.620
So I thought, oh my word.

567
00:32:33.620 --> 00:32:34.260
So he did that.

568
00:32:34.740 --> 00:32:37.580
He did that more than once where he would shrink.

569
00:32:37.580 --> 00:32:39.220
And then I would reel and he would teach.

570
00:32:39.220 --> 00:32:45.020
That's how he would teach me the difference between how it felt when I

571
00:32:45.060 --> 00:32:48.140
was observing versus projecting.

572
00:32:49.460 --> 00:32:53.460
And because when he would do that, I would think when he would shrink or

573
00:32:53.460 --> 00:32:55.180
something, I think, okay, what did I do?

574
00:32:55.460 --> 00:32:56.540
How did I do that?

575
00:32:56.540 --> 00:33:01.300
How is that different than the other times where I've used my

576
00:33:01.300 --> 00:33:03.460
imagination and he was doing things?

577
00:33:03.500 --> 00:33:05.460
What was different this time that he shrank?

578
00:33:05.460 --> 00:33:07.860
And I would notice the difference in how I was feeling.

579
00:33:08.700 --> 00:33:10.740
And I noticed, okay, that was me.

580
00:33:10.780 --> 00:33:16.900
That happened after I projected onto what it is that I wanted to get out of the

581
00:33:16.900 --> 00:33:19.780
experience instead of simply observing it.

582
00:33:20.780 --> 00:33:24.820
So, um, anyway, that's how I began to figure out the difference between

583
00:33:24.820 --> 00:33:26.180
observing versus projecting.

584
00:33:26.180 --> 00:33:29.060
And then I could stop projecting and just would observe.

585
00:33:30.180 --> 00:33:33.260
So, and then God would begin to reveal things to me that way.

586
00:33:34.020 --> 00:33:37.540
He began to talk to me and show me things because I would

587
00:33:37.540 --> 00:33:39.580
just stand back and observe.

588
00:33:40.860 --> 00:33:41.340
So yeah.

589
00:33:43.140 --> 00:33:43.420
Anyway.

590
00:33:43.420 --> 00:33:44.780
So that's what I would recommend.

591
00:33:45.580 --> 00:33:49.700
That's what helped me learning to exercise my imagination.

592
00:33:50.220 --> 00:33:50.700
Yeah.

593
00:33:50.700 --> 00:33:57.540
And allowing him to, um, just allowing him to, uh, to use your

594
00:33:57.540 --> 00:34:01.820
imagination to communicate with you, to show you things.

595
00:34:01.860 --> 00:34:02.220
Yeah.

596
00:34:02.900 --> 00:34:03.180
Yeah.

597
00:34:03.860 --> 00:34:04.300
So yeah.

598
00:34:05.100 --> 00:34:05.340
Yeah.

599
00:34:05.380 --> 00:34:06.900
And the less that you.

600
00:34:08.900 --> 00:34:12.139
It's not that projecting onto your imagination is bad, but what you don't

601
00:34:12.139 --> 00:34:14.780
want to do is you don't want to project onto your imagination when

602
00:34:14.780 --> 00:34:16.219
God's trying to show you something.

603
00:34:16.659 --> 00:34:18.540
You're not trying to make something up.

604
00:34:19.540 --> 00:34:22.780
There's, there's a good, one of the things with our imagination

605
00:34:22.780 --> 00:34:24.060
is that we can be creative.

606
00:34:24.620 --> 00:34:25.900
It's like a sandbox.

607
00:34:25.940 --> 00:34:29.380
You can just play in it and just like make up all kinds of stories.

608
00:34:29.380 --> 00:34:33.500
And that's where, that's where, um, book writers see their stories

609
00:34:34.500 --> 00:34:36.100
was on their imagination, you know?

610
00:34:36.100 --> 00:34:38.060
And so they're seeing all this stuff and then they're like, well, what

611
00:34:38.060 --> 00:34:39.340
if we have a character do this?

612
00:34:39.340 --> 00:34:40.420
Well, what would that look like?

613
00:34:40.900 --> 00:34:43.060
And so they're seeing all of this in our imagination and

614
00:34:43.060 --> 00:34:44.139
they're manipulating us.

615
00:34:44.420 --> 00:34:44.940
Some of it.

616
00:34:45.820 --> 00:34:49.179
And there's nothing wrong with that, but we don't ever want to manipulate

617
00:34:49.179 --> 00:34:53.739
or project onto it when it's Christ, your God, you know, we always

618
00:34:53.739 --> 00:34:55.300
want to allow the Lord to do that.

619
00:34:55.300 --> 00:34:58.660
Or is it, or when God's trying to communicate something to us, it's

620
00:34:58.660 --> 00:35:00.100
just back and just observe.

621
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.720
serve and watch and don't like decide what it is that we want to get out of it and manipulate

622
00:35:06.720 --> 00:35:13.360
what we're seeing in order to have a specific experience. We don't want to do that. So yeah.

623
00:35:13.360 --> 00:35:22.960
But yeah, that was a really good question. And do a lot of people that you know, are

624
00:35:22.960 --> 00:35:28.320
they, are they always talking about using their imagination in the, like to see the

625
00:35:28.320 --> 00:35:33.440
Lord and, and that's what prompted you to think, Oh, well, how do I do that? Or why

626
00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:39.840
am I not doing that or something? Or? No, I just feel like he's still not showing up

627
00:35:40.720 --> 00:35:49.120
like for me to see him. I'm not saying, yeah. But no, I don't know anybody else. That's just

628
00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:55.680
like trying to have that face to face with him like that. Yeah. Well, how do you experience

629
00:35:55.680 --> 00:36:03.760
him? Like the other day you said, Oh, well, I was with him and he began to he began to remove

630
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:10.160
the lies and play some truths and stuff like that. How did you know he was there? How did you,

631
00:36:11.040 --> 00:36:13.440
how do you connect with, Oh, that's him?

632
00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:22.880
Mm hmm. Well, I feel like

633
00:36:25.680 --> 00:36:29.600
I can put it this way, like drunk in your head or kind of like floaty in there,

634
00:36:29.600 --> 00:36:36.320
like very light. Yeah. So very light that way. You know, especially when I feel

635
00:36:37.120 --> 00:36:46.080
when I'm speaking, you know, truth to people or I guess his word that he wants to share with people.

636
00:36:47.040 --> 00:36:55.200
Um, but specifically when I'm crying, just crying. Yeah. Otherwise I don't really.

637
00:36:56.320 --> 00:37:03.360
So you sense the Lord a lot when you cry. Oh yeah. That is great. How do you sense them when you cry?

638
00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:13.280
Um, well just sometimes just when I'm worshiping him, just like waterfalls out. But when I'm like

639
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:18.160
getting rung out, I just feel it here. And he's just like digging in there and just trying to

640
00:37:18.160 --> 00:37:26.800
get it out. And I'm just like, yeah, that's so fascinating. Yeah. You sense them so deeply when

641
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:33.840
you cry. Um, it's possible just because you're having fewer inhibitions and that you are, um,

642
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:38.160
and your acts and you're more vulnerable and you're just allowing yourself to be open. And so

643
00:37:38.160 --> 00:37:45.280
you can feel his presence and feel his, his working around and you, um, because you're open, you're

644
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:50.880
more open and vulnerable in that state. You're making yourself so, and not everyone does that

645
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:56.800
because a lot of people, when they are crying, uh, when they're in a, in a position, when they're

646
00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:00.080
struggling to the point, you know, that they're, that they're crying about whatever it is you're

647
00:38:00.080 --> 00:38:05.600
crying about and they, um, sorry, I just got my hair done today. And so it's like really slick

648
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:14.400
and it's like falling down anyway. But what they do is they, um, uh, they shut down and they get

649
00:38:14.400 --> 00:38:20.000
tight and they, and they, and they put like an iron wall around their heart. And so it sounds

650
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:25.360
like you're doing the opposite, that you're more vulnerable and more open, um, when you're crying,

651
00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:31.920
which is great. Absolutely. Perfect. Because that's how that's because the Lord wants us to

652
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:39.040
come to him when we are struggling the most or the most vulnerable things like that. Uh, in fact,

653
00:38:39.040 --> 00:38:44.160
I remember him telling me one time he said, yeah, I was going through a time where I was very, very

654
00:38:44.160 --> 00:38:52.080
mad at him. And, um, I mean, so mad I was in so much pain. And he said, and this was probably

655
00:38:52.080 --> 00:39:01.120
like, I don't know, 10, 14 years ago. And I told him, I was like, Lord, um, uh, or no, no, no. God

656
00:39:01.120 --> 00:39:06.080
told me, he said, Ashley, I understand that you're mad at me. He said, and that's fine. He said, we

657
00:39:06.080 --> 00:39:10.560
can work through that. Yeah. This is just, just face you're going through. We can work through

658
00:39:10.560 --> 00:39:16.960
the fact that you're mad. Um, because for me, it wasn't just like a little, it wasn't a moment.

659
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:23.440
It was a season. I was in, I was just mad at the Lord for some things. And, um, and he said,

660
00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:28.400
Ashley, you know, you can be mad at me. He said, that's fine. He said, we'll work through that.

661
00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:33.280
He said, I won't abandon you in it. And because you, because he said, you're fighting me. You're

662
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:41.200
like wrestling with me. You're not turning your back on me and like getting mad at me.

663
00:39:42.240 --> 00:39:46.080
You know, while you're separated, he's like, you grabbed a hold of me. You're like,

664
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:53.040
kind of like David or not David, sorry, Jacob wrestling with the angel. He wrestled with God

665
00:39:53.040 --> 00:39:59.680
in one, you know, it's that kind of a thing. And, and so God's just like, that's good. He said that

666
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.760
can do. In fact, he called the name Israel, remember, which is the name that God gave Jacob,

667
00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:13.120
means he who wrestles with God, he who struggles with God. He literally named his people. He

668
00:40:13.120 --> 00:40:19.760
renamed Jacob. And then that renaming became the name of this whole, of his whole first born

669
00:40:19.760 --> 00:40:25.760
son, which he called Israel. That name of Israel means he who struggles with God.

670
00:40:26.640 --> 00:40:31.360
That's what God identified them as. That's what God called him. So that literally not only he,

671
00:40:31.360 --> 00:40:36.720
but every other person, whoever says the name Israel for the rest of eternity, every time it's

672
00:40:36.720 --> 00:40:42.880
written in the Bible, every time God calls out to Israel, every time one of us says it,

673
00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:47.200
we're literally repeating over and over and affirming and decreeing into the earth,

674
00:40:47.200 --> 00:40:52.960
he who wrestles with God or he who struggles with God. So God values that because we're not

675
00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:59.440
abandoning him. We haven't left him. We're struggling, but we're struggling with him.

676
00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:03.120
And so what he told me is he said, Ashley, I understand that you're struggling with me. He

677
00:41:03.120 --> 00:41:07.280
said, and we can work with that. It's like you and I will do this together. I will be with you

678
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:13.280
and I will not abandon you. He said, however, whatever you do, don't shut me out. He said,

679
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:20.640
when you're struggling and when you're mad, do not shut me out. And I, and as mad as I was with

680
00:41:20.720 --> 00:41:32.240
the Lord, I heard him and I was like, okay. And anyway, so I, so I just commend you for that.

681
00:41:32.240 --> 00:41:37.520
I think that that's wonderful because he does love that. It's very precious time to him is

682
00:41:37.520 --> 00:41:41.840
when we're struggling, but we struggle with them. You know, we're wrestling with them because

683
00:41:41.840 --> 00:41:45.360
we're bound and determined because it shows that we value the relationship.

684
00:41:45.840 --> 00:41:54.720
We're trying to work it out as opposed to just, um, not allowing it to develop any into anything

685
00:41:54.720 --> 00:42:02.560
intimate because we're simply like wanting to just be peacekeepers or we just was simply

686
00:42:02.560 --> 00:42:10.320
abandoned him like, no, even though there's conflict, even though there's differences

687
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:15.120
of opinion or whatever, we're wrestling it out. We're bound to determine to get it worked out.

688
00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:24.560
And so he really values that. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I, before I'd be like crying,

689
00:42:24.560 --> 00:42:28.640
I'd be like, okay, that's enough. And then I'll kind of avoid it for a while. So yeah,

690
00:42:28.640 --> 00:42:37.280
I can see what you mean by shutting him out. And yeah, that's really great. Yeah. So, um,

691
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:46.800
um, uh, so what are your quote unquote next steps? Where are you thinking of like, what are you,

692
00:42:48.160 --> 00:42:56.080
um, uh, where are you right now in your journey with the Lord and in, you know, in light of all

693
00:42:56.080 --> 00:43:02.560
of this stuff of like rest and having faith in him and whether or not you trust him and,

694
00:43:02.560 --> 00:43:06.320
you know, just kind of like, where are you right now in that journey? What are you

695
00:43:08.240 --> 00:43:15.920
Um, yeah, I wanted to receive the word that, uh, I am immortal. I'm limitless. I mean, as he is,

696
00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:22.560
so am I. So that's, that's a teaching I got. And I was like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. Where did you get

697
00:43:22.560 --> 00:43:30.800
that? That was from, uh, uh, Kim. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, did she speak a word of prophecy over you?

698
00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:35.600
Is that what she was saying? No, no, no. She was just teaching us like, this is what the Bible

699
00:43:35.600 --> 00:43:40.320
says, you know, and then she, you know, she's sharing what her and her husband are experiencing

700
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:48.080
and things like that. And so it's exciting. Huh? You'd every Sunday. No, no, no, no. They

701
00:43:48.080 --> 00:43:53.280
haven't, they hadn't done it over a year because they were building their house, but yeah, we had

702
00:43:53.280 --> 00:44:00.000
started it. Um, yeah. Yeah. I didn't realize y'all had been that long. I thought that y'all

703
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:07.040
been keeping up with it every week. I didn't know that it'd been a year. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

704
00:44:07.040 --> 00:44:11.520
He's helping once a month, but it, you know, holidays are coming. So it'd probably be like

705
00:44:11.520 --> 00:44:25.360
once a quarter, but yeah, it's okay. Yeah. Well, he goes, um, or how many, yeah, me, Kim and Tammy.

706
00:44:25.440 --> 00:44:32.160
Um, so Tammy's going to be reaching out soon if she hasn't already. Yeah, she has. Yeah. Um,

707
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:41.040
so, uh, all three of us were in a community group for, yeah, like over seven years now.

708
00:44:42.320 --> 00:44:50.320
Yeah. Maybe six, something like that. And, um, what about Mary? Is she in y'all's group anymore?

709
00:44:51.200 --> 00:44:57.520
She is, but she's not going to do the living water because she married, uh, a religious guy.

710
00:44:58.240 --> 00:44:59.680
Oh, I'm sorry.

711
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.400
You know, and so she had to choose, or she felt she had to choose.

712
00:45:05.760 --> 00:45:06.040
Yeah.

713
00:45:06.040 --> 00:45:10.120
She'll do the social side of the girl thing, but she won't do the

714
00:45:10.200 --> 00:45:12.280
church or the, you know, the gathering.

715
00:45:12.320 --> 00:45:12.680
Yeah.

716
00:45:14.680 --> 00:45:15.560
Sorry to hear that.

717
00:45:17.600 --> 00:45:24.840
And then, uh, we picked up another Kim and then, uh, Tammy sister,

718
00:45:25.520 --> 00:45:26.640
Tammy sister's brand new.

719
00:45:26.640 --> 00:45:30.240
The other Kim's been doing it with us for a while.

720
00:45:30.240 --> 00:45:30.520
Yeah.

721
00:45:30.520 --> 00:45:35.360
She, you know, she has similar, um, journey, you know, just spending time

722
00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:39.000
with the Lord and actually having a real relationship, so she's

723
00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:40.600
experienced a lot of same stuff.

724
00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:42.480
As, as who?

725
00:45:43.240 --> 00:45:48.400
As, um, I guess just us when we're trying to like encourage others to spend the

726
00:45:48.400 --> 00:45:52.400
time with the Lord and like how God's revealing, you know, he's so much more

727
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:55.960
than what we even know and yeah.

728
00:45:56.040 --> 00:45:56.440
Yeah.

729
00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:57.200
Yeah.

730
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:57.840
Okay.

731
00:45:57.880 --> 00:45:58.520
Great.

732
00:45:58.600 --> 00:45:59.120
Great.

733
00:45:59.320 --> 00:45:59.800
Yeah.

734
00:46:00.120 --> 00:46:08.080
Well, so, um, I don't know, is there, uh, um, I don't know.

735
00:46:08.080 --> 00:46:12.120
Is there anything else you can think of that, that, that you need or that

736
00:46:12.120 --> 00:46:17.600
you've been, um, questioning or do you feel like you're in a good place and

737
00:46:17.600 --> 00:46:21.120
that you've kind of got like lots of meat to chew between you and the Lord

738
00:46:21.120 --> 00:46:27.280
of like, um, like lots to kind of like pursue and press into him about, or,

739
00:46:27.720 --> 00:46:34.840
um, learn to have faith in and actually live it out or I mean,

740
00:46:34.920 --> 00:46:39.640
question, I mean, I feel like it's all, you said it's kind of like all the

741
00:46:39.640 --> 00:46:44.240
same stuff, but he just brings you to different levels or different

742
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:50.680
situations to you about choosing him and his goodness, regardless of

743
00:46:50.680 --> 00:46:53.400
the circumstance, that is really, that's really hard.

744
00:46:53.960 --> 00:46:54.440
Yes.

745
00:46:54.520 --> 00:46:55.520
It's very hard.

746
00:46:55.560 --> 00:47:00.280
It is very challenging because we're so used to looking at the situation

747
00:47:00.280 --> 00:47:06.640
to determine who God is, um, as a result.

748
00:47:07.600 --> 00:47:09.400
And so that's very challenging.

749
00:47:09.400 --> 00:47:16.800
The biggest, um, thresholds that we cross and choosing him very

750
00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:24.240
powerfully to be who he is, is when, is when is what we often think of as

751
00:47:24.240 --> 00:47:28.360
like often are like our darkest times or times, you know, the most struggle

752
00:47:28.640 --> 00:47:34.960
where there is no evidence that he is that thing, none, and we make the

753
00:47:34.960 --> 00:47:39.600
choice that he is not that we are willing to believe it, not that, okay.

754
00:47:39.600 --> 00:47:46.480
Well, you know, I hope, or maybe one, you know, uh, maybe, maybe if I choose

755
00:47:46.480 --> 00:47:48.800
him, well, then eventually he'll prove it to me.

756
00:47:49.160 --> 00:47:54.120
No, it's like, you just make the decision that that's what he is.

757
00:47:54.440 --> 00:47:59.640
And it feels like you're denying reality because you're literally in a situation

758
00:47:59.640 --> 00:48:04.320
that looks like it's proving that God is not that thing, like not just kind of

759
00:48:04.320 --> 00:48:06.000
like, well, I can't see that he is the thing.

760
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:09.600
No, it's like, not is what all of that looks like.

761
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:16.120
And, but in reality, and so, but what it is, you choose that if he says

762
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:22.120
that it really is reality over the reality of what it is that you're

763
00:48:22.120 --> 00:48:26.240
experiencing, you know, here on earth, what the, what the evidence is trying

764
00:48:26.240 --> 00:48:30.360
to say, that is the most powerful time to make the decision.

765
00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:38.160
And it's, and it's because it's the most difficult, it's not an easy times

766
00:48:38.200 --> 00:48:42.920
that are the most powerful in making the choice, even though it is still

767
00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:44.560
a powerful place to make a choice.

768
00:48:44.600 --> 00:48:46.520
It's not the most powerful.

769
00:48:46.520 --> 00:48:51.360
The most powerful is when it looks like God has been proven to be the opposite.

770
00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:55.280
And anyway, it's just fascinating.

771
00:48:55.280 --> 00:48:58.200
Again, you're proving you're, you're claiming that he is the thing.

772
00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:02.080
You're not claiming that it'll manifest in any specific way.

773
00:49:03.720 --> 00:49:04.800
So, but yeah.

774
00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:06.240
Yeah.

775
00:49:06.520 --> 00:49:11.440
That you're choosing that God is provider and that you are safe and

776
00:49:11.440 --> 00:49:15.560
that you are taken care of, even if he doesn't give you the

777
00:49:15.560 --> 00:49:17.400
money in time for the deadline.

778
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:24.760
That's the most powerful, um, times to make those, those choices.

779
00:49:24.800 --> 00:49:29.800
That's when, uh, that's when the kingdom of heaven overpowers

780
00:49:29.840 --> 00:49:31.000
the kingdom of this world.

781
00:49:31.520 --> 00:49:33.840
And, um, and it makes a difference.

782
00:49:33.880 --> 00:49:41.760
It's almost like it creates a, uh, like a tectonic plate shift in the spirit or

783
00:49:41.760 --> 00:49:49.000
in the, like the metaphysical realm in there, that type of decision to make

784
00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:50.400
that type of, you know, like choice.

785
00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:51.320
Yeah.

786
00:49:51.800 --> 00:49:52.240
So, yeah.

787
00:49:53.520 --> 00:49:56.720
So have you seen your angel or angels?

788
00:49:57.040 --> 00:49:58.800
I have not that I'm aware of.

789
00:49:58.800 --> 00:49:59.320
Wait a minute.

790
00:49:59.400 --> 00:49:59.760
Wait a minute.

791
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:09.180
I have, but I didn't, um, I saw it last year, but I didn't see it in any specific shape.

792
00:50:09.240 --> 00:50:15.120
I just basically saw that there was mass that was more highly concentrated and it

793
00:50:15.120 --> 00:50:18.640
was standing beside the side of my bed and it came up and over me.

794
00:50:18.920 --> 00:50:23.700
So it's as if I, you could see like mass everywhere, like in the air.

795
00:50:24.020 --> 00:50:30.540
And then it was more highly concentrated in this figure that didn't have a shape,

796
00:50:30.580 --> 00:50:34.700
but it was like this more concentrated area of the room that came up and over.

797
00:50:34.700 --> 00:50:38.780
And I immediately knew it was my angel because I had been telling, I had just

798
00:50:38.780 --> 00:50:42.740
always known since I'd been in that room, that that was where my angel

799
00:50:43.260 --> 00:50:45.500
always was when I was asleep.

800
00:50:45.540 --> 00:50:46.340
I just knew it.

801
00:50:46.700 --> 00:50:53.940
And, and, um, anyway, uh, I wish I knew how to describe the fact that I like, I

802
00:50:53.940 --> 00:50:58.420
just knew it, but it was just this sense that like, well, of course he's there.

803
00:50:58.420 --> 00:50:59.340
That makes sense.

804
00:51:00.420 --> 00:51:05.820
And, um, anyway, but I remember seeing him, in other words, seeing all of that

805
00:51:05.820 --> 00:51:09.580
mass more highly concentrated and realizing, oh my word, he really is there.

806
00:51:09.580 --> 00:51:10.940
And he's really huge.

807
00:51:11.420 --> 00:51:17.660
And I, I remember being so scared and thinking, okay, this is why it says in

808
00:51:17.660 --> 00:51:24.340
the Bible to not be afraid because you're afraid and then I, and so I told.

809
00:51:25.020 --> 00:51:26.980
I told the angel, I thought, Ashley, this is your time.

810
00:51:27.020 --> 00:51:27.820
This is your moment.

811
00:51:28.300 --> 00:51:29.660
You have to acknowledge him.

812
00:51:29.700 --> 00:51:31.500
You can't be afraid of your angel.

813
00:51:31.780 --> 00:51:33.540
You know, he wants to be acknowledged.

814
00:51:33.580 --> 00:51:37.100
So I just said, hi, it's nice to meet you.

815
00:51:37.140 --> 00:51:38.260
I don't know what I said.

816
00:51:39.140 --> 00:51:41.660
Like, I remember saying something like, hi.

817
00:51:41.660 --> 00:51:42.900
And then that's all I remember.

818
00:51:42.900 --> 00:51:45.780
I said some other stuff that, you know, thanks for

819
00:51:45.780 --> 00:51:47.500
protecting me or something.

820
00:51:47.500 --> 00:51:51.940
I wanted to acknowledge and honor what he was doing, but I was so scared.

821
00:51:53.220 --> 00:51:56.500
Like all of a sudden you realize, oh my word, it's all real.

822
00:51:56.940 --> 00:51:57.700
It's all real.

823
00:51:57.860 --> 00:51:58.780
But what about you?

824
00:51:58.780 --> 00:51:59.940
Have you seen anything?

825
00:52:00.100 --> 00:52:02.860
No, no, I just, yeah.

826
00:52:04.100 --> 00:52:04.420
Yeah.

827
00:52:05.420 --> 00:52:05.660
Yeah.

828
00:52:05.660 --> 00:52:09.140
Kim brings it up and then another friend that I've, I've met and she's,

829
00:52:09.940 --> 00:52:11.740
she's exploring that stuff too.

830
00:52:12.180 --> 00:52:12.740
Oh, okay.

831
00:52:12.740 --> 00:52:13.500
Well, that's cool.

832
00:52:13.940 --> 00:52:14.620
Yeah.

833
00:52:14.660 --> 00:52:16.860
Um, yeah.

834
00:52:18.420 --> 00:52:18.900
Anyway.

835
00:52:20.180 --> 00:52:22.140
Well, have you enjoyed the ladies in the group?

836
00:52:22.980 --> 00:52:23.900
Oh yes.

837
00:52:23.940 --> 00:52:24.580
Yeah.

838
00:52:24.660 --> 00:52:30.900
I wish I was brave to do videos, but I know we'd love to get to see them.

839
00:52:31.060 --> 00:52:31.460
Yeah.

840
00:52:31.500 --> 00:52:36.060
And, um, I'm going to have to figure out how to put your video on just so

841
00:52:36.060 --> 00:52:37.660
that you will have had a video on there.

842
00:52:43.060 --> 00:52:45.060
No, it's way past due.

843
00:52:46.140 --> 00:52:47.140
I know it is.

844
00:52:47.140 --> 00:52:48.180
I'm so sorry.

845
00:52:48.260 --> 00:52:49.540
It is past due.

846
00:52:49.580 --> 00:52:53.740
I it's, I think that what it was doing, it was downloading in the background

847
00:52:53.740 --> 00:52:55.540
and I kept thinking it won't download.

848
00:52:56.100 --> 00:52:58.020
And then it downloaded it twice.

849
00:52:58.980 --> 00:53:02.420
Anyway, I'll have to, maybe I can find it or something.

850
00:53:02.420 --> 00:53:02.860
We'll see.

851
00:53:04.060 --> 00:53:08.380
Um, I'm glad that you're enjoying the ladies and there really are very great.

852
00:53:08.380 --> 00:53:13.140
And I'm always grateful for all of the groups, all of the people that, that

853
00:53:13.140 --> 00:53:19.060
come in the groups and that, uh, that I've, you know, the rest intensive

854
00:53:19.060 --> 00:53:21.540
that I've done, and I'm always really.

855
00:53:22.060 --> 00:53:25.700
Grateful that the Lord allows such special people to be involved because

856
00:53:25.700 --> 00:53:30.900
it's a really, I try to keep it as a very safe space and place for people.

857
00:53:30.900 --> 00:53:37.860
And I want, I want, um, people who are kind to others who are very loving, very

858
00:53:37.860 --> 00:53:40.100
generous and warm with their hearts.

859
00:53:40.100 --> 00:53:44.140
And, and, um, so I've been very grateful.

860
00:53:44.980 --> 00:53:46.540
I've been very grateful for that.

861
00:53:46.700 --> 00:53:51.260
Um, that they are, it's something that I've always asked the Lord for.

862
00:53:52.220 --> 00:53:54.180
So, excuse me.

863
00:53:54.740 --> 00:54:02.620
Um, so, um, I guess there's actually like 29 people on the Facebook,

864
00:54:02.620 --> 00:54:04.300
but they're all old members too.

865
00:54:05.020 --> 00:54:05.300
Yeah.

866
00:54:05.340 --> 00:54:06.780
They're the lifetime members too.

867
00:54:07.260 --> 00:54:12.500
So, uh, and then, so some of them aren't very active and then I think some of them.

868
00:54:12.820 --> 00:54:13.180
Yeah.

869
00:54:13.180 --> 00:54:15.460
So some of them are not very active.

870
00:54:16.020 --> 00:54:18.060
They're all at different levels of engagement.

871
00:54:18.740 --> 00:54:19.180
Hmm.

872
00:54:20.140 --> 00:54:24.420
So we can continue to just kind of like do it.

873
00:54:25.580 --> 00:54:30.780
Uh, no, the, uh, so y'all will, uh, not the Facebook group that was just,

874
00:54:30.820 --> 00:54:36.220
that's just for the six weeks, but the, um, the page itself, the, the rest

875
00:54:36.220 --> 00:54:41.860
intensive members page on enter his dot rest, that is where all of the teachings

876
00:54:41.940 --> 00:54:46.860
are in all of the fireside chats and the rest groups, that's where all of that is

877
00:54:46.860 --> 00:54:53.100
housed and that, um, y'all have lifetime access to is that page, but not the, not

878
00:54:53.100 --> 00:54:57.020
the Facebook, the community group, just, that's just for the six weeks that

879
00:54:57.020 --> 00:54:59.500
community and the other stuff is for the.

880
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.680
is for the lifetime.

881
00:55:02.680 --> 00:55:07.720
Wait, but the six weeks, you said there's 29 people on there.

882
00:55:07.720 --> 00:55:09.640
So those are lifetime members.

883
00:55:09.640 --> 00:55:11.880
Like in other words, what I did is

884
00:55:11.880 --> 00:55:16.440
I opened up the old group that had that when I started that

885
00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:19.200
two and a half years ago, the way that I did it

886
00:55:19.200 --> 00:55:22.720
was I allowed them to be in that group for forever.

887
00:55:22.720 --> 00:55:25.160
So it's kind of like y'all's page of the Rest Intensive

888
00:55:25.160 --> 00:55:25.720
Members page.

889
00:55:25.720 --> 00:55:28.120
And I said, hey, y'all have lifetime access to that page.

890
00:55:28.120 --> 00:55:30.240
When I first opened that Facebook group,

891
00:55:30.240 --> 00:55:35.000
I gave those people that joined that Rest Intensive lifetime

892
00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:36.600
access to that page.

893
00:55:36.600 --> 00:55:38.360
That was their lifetime access.

894
00:55:38.360 --> 00:55:40.120
This new page is y'all's.

895
00:55:40.120 --> 00:55:46.320
And so anyway, but I hadn't reopened that old Facebook

896
00:55:46.320 --> 00:55:48.640
page, I mean, that old Facebook group.

897
00:55:48.640 --> 00:55:51.240
I'd always just, I mean, for like new people,

898
00:55:51.240 --> 00:55:53.720
I'd always just recreated a brand new one.

899
00:55:53.720 --> 00:55:56.160
And so this time instead, for the six weeks

900
00:55:56.160 --> 00:55:58.440
that I would open something up, I

901
00:55:58.440 --> 00:56:02.120
opened up that group, that community for people

902
00:56:02.120 --> 00:56:04.640
to be part of that community for the six weeks

903
00:56:04.640 --> 00:56:07.080
instead of starting a brand new one from scratch

904
00:56:07.080 --> 00:56:10.200
to allow them to interact with some of the old lifetime

905
00:56:10.200 --> 00:56:12.040
members and allow the lifetime members

906
00:56:12.040 --> 00:56:15.960
to interact with like a new group and whatever

907
00:56:15.960 --> 00:56:18.000
instead of creating a separate one.

908
00:56:18.000 --> 00:56:20.640
I just opened, instead of creating a separate one

909
00:56:20.640 --> 00:56:23.160
for six weeks and then closing it,

910
00:56:23.200 --> 00:56:26.920
I just gave access to the Facebook community

911
00:56:26.920 --> 00:56:28.760
group for six weeks.

912
00:56:28.760 --> 00:56:29.960
Oh, OK.

913
00:56:29.960 --> 00:56:31.920
So I'm not a lifetime member.

914
00:56:31.920 --> 00:56:34.680
I just have lifetime access to that.

915
00:56:34.680 --> 00:56:35.880
Yeah, to that page.

916
00:56:35.880 --> 00:56:38.640
For that other, like I said, was when I started,

917
00:56:38.640 --> 00:56:42.000
it would be like a year and a half from now,

918
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:45.040
me giving people six weeks of access

919
00:56:45.040 --> 00:56:48.440
to y'all's Rest Intensive members page

920
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:52.200
that y'all, because of when y'all joined,

921
00:56:52.200 --> 00:56:54.280
you have lifetime access to.

922
00:56:54.280 --> 00:56:57.920
But like future people in two years from now that I say,

923
00:56:57.920 --> 00:57:01.560
hey, y'all can come into this page for six weeks,

924
00:57:01.560 --> 00:57:04.240
but y'all had lifetime access to.

925
00:57:04.240 --> 00:57:08.360
It's just like the rest intensive different every time

926
00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:09.560
what it is that I do.

927
00:57:09.560 --> 00:57:13.760
And like for instance, this Rest Intensive,

928
00:57:13.760 --> 00:57:18.640
we're meeting more often than the original group did.

929
00:57:18.640 --> 00:57:21.560
So we're meeting three times a week

930
00:57:21.560 --> 00:57:23.920
and the original group, two and a half years ago,

931
00:57:23.920 --> 00:57:25.800
we didn't meet three times a week.

932
00:57:25.800 --> 00:57:29.520
Well, we did, I think at first, I would do like teachings,

933
00:57:29.520 --> 00:57:30.480
but they were lives.

934
00:57:30.480 --> 00:57:31.880
They weren't communities.

935
00:57:31.880 --> 00:57:35.040
They weren't where we all got on Zoom or whatever.

936
00:57:35.040 --> 00:57:36.520
Those were once a week.

937
00:57:36.520 --> 00:57:38.520
And then I would just pop on on lives,

938
00:57:38.520 --> 00:57:40.680
like I do here on this one.

939
00:57:40.680 --> 00:57:44.520
I would pop in on lives and they can pop on and watch me.

940
00:57:44.520 --> 00:57:46.200
And then like comment and interact.

941
00:57:46.240 --> 00:57:51.240
But so this time though, I did more like community events

942
00:57:55.360 --> 00:57:57.920
because I found that people seem to really like it.

943
00:57:59.200 --> 00:58:02.040
So how do I get to be a lifetime member?

944
00:58:02.040 --> 00:58:04.520
I guess I didn't, yeah.

945
00:58:04.520 --> 00:58:07.040
Well, I don't have anything that I'm doing right now

946
00:58:07.040 --> 00:58:09.960
with that group because I haven't done any lifetime members

947
00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:12.560
for like a year and a half or anything.

948
00:58:12.560 --> 00:58:15.160
So that's just really kind of like an old,

949
00:58:15.200 --> 00:58:16.840
I don't wanna say it's an old group,

950
00:58:16.840 --> 00:58:20.200
but that group really hasn't had much activity

951
00:58:21.320 --> 00:58:24.360
in a long time because even though the ladies can do it,

952
00:58:24.360 --> 00:58:25.560
they haven't been active.

953
00:58:25.560 --> 00:58:29.040
So I haven't opened that up for any lifetime membership

954
00:58:29.040 --> 00:58:31.400
or anybody to be part of for like,

955
00:58:31.400 --> 00:58:34.200
for, I don't know, for a year and a half, like anybody.

956
00:58:34.200 --> 00:58:37.800
But I wanted to open it up for the six weeks

957
00:58:37.800 --> 00:58:39.680
for it to kind of like house our community

958
00:58:39.680 --> 00:58:41.520
instead of like I said, to do a new one.

959
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:43.760
Because I thought there's so much of the cool stuff

960
00:58:43.760 --> 00:58:46.040
in the old one, people can see like,

961
00:58:46.040 --> 00:58:48.080
be encouraged by like old testimonies,

962
00:58:48.080 --> 00:58:51.920
their interactions with old members, et cetera.

963
00:58:51.920 --> 00:58:54.440
So yeah, so I'm not really have a program

964
00:58:54.440 --> 00:58:59.440
or anything for that Facebook group anymore.

965
00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:01.080
It's just housing.

966
00:59:02.840 --> 00:59:06.440
It provided a way for us to all interact as a community

967
00:59:06.440 --> 00:59:10.600
because we can't interact on that website page, you know?

968
00:59:10.600 --> 00:59:13.360
So we can do it on like Zoom and stuff like that.

969
00:59:13.960 --> 00:59:15.120
So anyway, so that's what that was for.

970
00:59:15.120 --> 00:59:18.320
So I don't really have anything that I'm doing right now

971
00:59:18.320 --> 00:59:23.320
for any lifetime membership thing, so.

972
00:59:23.640 --> 00:59:26.200
Well, I guess I just need someone,

973
00:59:26.200 --> 00:59:28.880
one of the leaders to create a Facebook for our group

974
00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:31.400
so we can stay connected.

975
00:59:31.400 --> 00:59:33.600
I know, isn't that fun?

976
00:59:33.600 --> 00:59:38.600
And the, what do I want to call it?

977
00:59:39.160 --> 00:59:41.560
The every group that I've created,

978
00:59:41.600 --> 00:59:43.040
well, I say every group.

979
00:59:46.200 --> 00:59:47.760
Every group that I've created

980
00:59:47.760 --> 00:59:51.000
has enjoyed the community aspect of it.

981
00:59:51.000 --> 00:59:52.760
They love it.

982
00:59:52.760 --> 00:59:55.800
In fact, it's one of the parts that they love the most.

983
00:59:55.800 --> 00:59:59.120
And so that's why it was really challenging

984
00:59:59.120 --> 00:59:59.960
for the internet.

985
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.640
national person that I have to not have a community group is

986
01:00:03.640 --> 01:00:06.400
because it's such an important part, and then they just don't

987
01:00:06.400 --> 01:00:13.080
get to have that. And so anyway, every time that the six weeks or

988
01:00:13.080 --> 01:00:17.160
the four weeks or the sometimes it's only like a two week when

989
01:00:17.160 --> 01:00:20.340
depending on how big the rest of how long the rest of the many

990
01:00:20.340 --> 01:00:25.120
rest intensives were that I would do. And they would, no

991
01:00:25.120 --> 01:00:28.040
matter how long they were, people liked the community

992
01:00:28.040 --> 01:00:32.800
aspect of it so much that they would want to stay connected.

993
01:00:33.000 --> 01:00:38.920
But no one ever did anything. They they all wanted it. But no

994
01:00:38.920 --> 01:00:41.120
one would take the initiative to do it. And so

995
01:00:43.160 --> 01:00:43.760
well,

996
01:00:44.240 --> 01:00:48.280
then I told him I said, Yeah, you can do that if you want. And

997
01:00:48.720 --> 01:00:51.360
so anyway, but no one's ever done it. And I've had a lot I've

998
01:00:51.360 --> 01:00:54.800
had several rest intensive, like many rest intensive groups and

999
01:00:54.800 --> 01:00:57.800
communities and stuff like that. None of them have ever

1000
01:00:57.800 --> 01:01:00.680
kept them up, but they've all wanted to, you know, to some

1001
01:01:00.680 --> 01:01:04.040
degree or another, it depends, I suppose on each group as to how

1002
01:01:04.040 --> 01:01:08.600
badly they wanted it. But what I'm looking to do right now is

1003
01:01:08.600 --> 01:01:15.320
I'm looking to do a, an advanced thing of the current rest. But

1004
01:01:15.360 --> 01:01:20.000
the current of the inner his rest series, I'm looking to do a

1005
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:23.600
rest intensive of the last half of the series, which is of like

1006
01:01:23.600 --> 01:01:27.080
living in rest and like specific areas, how to operate

1007
01:01:27.080 --> 01:01:31.360
from how to operate in the spirit, how to heal the body and

1008
01:01:31.360 --> 01:01:36.200
the soul through the spirit, how to govern creation and

1009
01:01:36.200 --> 01:01:39.280
relationships, govern creation and business, power of

1010
01:01:39.280 --> 01:01:45.040
intention and goals, dreams, and promises. And so I'm looking to

1011
01:01:45.040 --> 01:01:52.480
do that. And I'm just trying to figure out some specifics to be

1012
01:01:52.480 --> 01:01:56.160
able to tell everyone about when I would be offering that to

1013
01:01:56.160 --> 01:01:59.480
see if anybody would be interested in doing and doing

1014
01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:00.280
that. So anyway,

1015
01:02:00.960 --> 01:02:03.480
yeah, definitely. And I think Tammy would definitely want to

1016
01:02:03.480 --> 01:02:05.160
do that. So she needs to get caught up.

1017
01:02:05.480 --> 01:02:09.520
Yeah, I know. I know. She and I were just talking. I said,

1018
01:02:09.520 --> 01:02:14.640
Well, I said, she said, Well, I said, Well, I'll be doing

1019
01:02:14.640 --> 01:02:19.280
something, doing the new one, though. And like starting like

1020
01:02:19.280 --> 01:02:21.720
the one that we've just finished, I'll be doing I'm

1021
01:02:21.720 --> 01:02:25.320
looking to do another one in January, is what I told her. And

1022
01:02:25.320 --> 01:02:28.640
the reason for that is that people are just all so busy

1023
01:02:28.640 --> 01:02:31.120
during the holidays, no one wants to commit to anything

1024
01:02:31.120 --> 01:02:36.440
during the holidays. So that's why I at least people with like

1025
01:02:36.440 --> 01:02:40.200
large families and children and stuff like that. And so I've

1026
01:02:40.200 --> 01:02:42.800
just noticed that the holidays isn't a good time for me to

1027
01:02:42.800 --> 01:02:45.880
start something the closest thing I can do is to do like a

1028
01:02:45.880 --> 01:02:48.920
week at the beginning of December, or to do like a

1029
01:02:48.920 --> 01:02:52.480
Saturday and do like a few hours on a Saturday in

1030
01:02:52.480 --> 01:02:57.000
December, that I can do and people will sign up for as long

1031
01:02:57.000 --> 01:03:00.600
as I do it early enough. But otherwise, people are all too

1032
01:03:00.600 --> 01:03:03.840
busy with stuff during December. So I thought for something as

1033
01:03:03.840 --> 01:03:10.000
intense as the rest intensive. I I told her that I would be

1034
01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:13.840
looking I'm looking at January and that's simply based off of

1035
01:03:15.440 --> 01:03:17.840
that's based off of the fact that I don't think people are

1036
01:03:17.840 --> 01:03:22.200
gonna want to do anything until January. And in January, a lot

1037
01:03:22.200 --> 01:03:26.240
of times people focus on self improvement anyway. That's when

1038
01:03:26.240 --> 01:03:29.400
they sign up for gyms, it's when they want to heal from old

1039
01:03:29.400 --> 01:03:31.680
wounds, because they just been through Christmas with their

1040
01:03:31.680 --> 01:03:35.480
families or, you know, whatever the thing is that things are

1041
01:03:35.480 --> 01:03:37.960
just kind of like highlighted to them are brought to their

1042
01:03:37.960 --> 01:03:40.960
attention. And they're ready to start dealing with things. I

1043
01:03:40.960 --> 01:03:43.600
think I don't know for sure. But I think that people are more

1044
01:03:43.600 --> 01:03:47.120
likely to sign up with counselors and, and just just

1045
01:03:47.120 --> 01:03:50.960
stuff. And so they're looking to actually start making some

1046
01:03:50.960 --> 01:03:54.360
progress in certain areas in their life. And so I figured

1047
01:03:55.880 --> 01:04:00.400
that January would be a time when people are wanting

1048
01:04:00.400 --> 01:04:05.120
something. So that's like the one that we're doing right now.

1049
01:04:06.600 --> 01:04:12.360
And so doing doing that, but the whole doing the something like

1050
01:04:12.360 --> 01:04:19.400
the rest intensive advanced would be that would be different

1051
01:04:19.400 --> 01:04:24.880
that would be separate from the January thing. And so I'm just

1052
01:04:24.880 --> 01:04:29.400
trying to think about like when to offer that and, and if people

1053
01:04:29.400 --> 01:04:35.640
will be interested and stuff. So I'm looking at some specifics

1054
01:04:35.640 --> 01:04:39.240
and some details on that. So maybe I'll mention something to

1055
01:04:39.240 --> 01:04:42.840
everybody soon about what I might have a possibility.

1056
01:04:44.120 --> 01:04:49.320
Okay. Oh, I have one last question is, I hadn't seen a

1057
01:04:49.320 --> 01:04:52.120
calendar for time with your husband.

1058
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:59.120
Yes. Yeah, I haven't either. I'm about it. So he's been so busy.

1059
01:04:59.120 --> 01:05:00.000
He just finished

1060
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.340
his SOP, which is a basically he puts on a conference every month, and he just finished

1061
01:05:06.340 --> 01:05:11.700
putting it on for this month. And so in fact, he didn't even go to work today because part

1062
01:05:11.700 --> 01:05:16.940
of his conference goes through a Saturday. And so he was busy on Saturday. And so he

1063
01:05:16.940 --> 01:05:22.420
got to take off today. And so one of the things that he told me that he wanted to do was to

1064
01:05:22.420 --> 01:05:29.500
look at his to determine times to be able to give everybody that they can sign up for

1065
01:05:29.500 --> 01:05:34.980
a time with him. Yeah, okay. Yes. Yeah. I was like, I hope I didn't miss it. If I came

1066
01:05:34.980 --> 01:05:42.380
on late. I know one time I can't. I couldn't find the feed. But okay. Oh, no, no, no, no.

1067
01:05:42.380 --> 01:05:48.340
No, it was you had signed up by October the first. Oh, okay. In fact, I think there's

1068
01:05:48.340 --> 01:05:54.100
only maybe one or two that didn't sign up by October 1. Everyone else did. And so most

1069
01:05:54.100 --> 01:05:58.620
people have that ministry time with them. So that's good. Yes. Speaking of that, I need

1070
01:05:58.740 --> 01:06:02.180
to get the final count and make sure that he knows how many time slots that he needs.

1071
01:06:02.180 --> 01:06:07.260
But anyway, so everyone's going to love that time with him. He's, he's really special to

1072
01:06:07.260 --> 01:06:11.340
spend that time with and he just sees a person for who it is that they are and he just has

1073
01:06:11.340 --> 01:06:16.500
a father's heart for people. So I don't know, it's just a gift God's given him. So anyway,

1074
01:06:16.500 --> 01:06:22.220
yeah, that's awesome. Well, thank you so much. You're welcome. It was good to get to see

1075
01:06:22.220 --> 01:06:26.700
you and visit with you. And I'm so glad that you're doing good. Yes, thank you. All right.

1076
01:06:26.700 --> 01:06:31.500
Well, I hope you have a good night. You too. Good night. Bye.