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Hi.

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Can you see me. No, I can hear you but not see you. Okay, let me see how do I.

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So are you on your. Oh yeah you're on your phone okay so hit the screen. Oh, there we go.

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There we go.

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And then you can pop up on the bottom and open the video.

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Okay, there we go. How are you.

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I'm much better today. Good.

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Is your car your escape place the place where you can get peace.

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Yes, it is.

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I've had more moms meet with me in the car.

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Unless everyone's out of the house, this is where I go. Yeah, there you go. Some people it's the bathroom some people it's a laundry room but for moms usually these days it's yes.

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Like because the kids never think about looking up there they're like if mom's not in the house. She's gone. Exactly.

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That's funny. That's great.

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So I'm glad to hear that you're doing better and it's a I never tell people this, but you know what it is that you're going through, meaning like.

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The part of the journey that you found yourself in is is expected that's what's normal. And here's why and it's because with the, what the rest intensive is all about.

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In other words, what this, this journey this program you know it's all about is to simply help people navigate themselves through this.

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And it's that we're, we have to cross that that difficulty is us coming up against that threshold, and all of this, and as facing all of the struggle and the resistance that has always kept us from crossing the threshold.

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And so the thing is that we actually have to finally understand how do we let go of that survival mode. How do we let go of that sense of trying to protect myself from actually dying.

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It's not like dying spiritually dying emotionally that's what it feels like it feels like our whole world and everything it is that we know that kind of like gives us a sense of like existence.

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It's all going to go away.

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That may sound strange but that's actually what's happening is it's our fear of dying in a variety of like facets of ourselves, like, and, and so God has placed so much of a sense of like survival mode in us that we will do whatever the heck we have to

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do to save a lot of say a lot to save ourselves from that. And the thing is that when we get to that place by saying yeah I want you to, to, to actually to sacrifice yourself which is that living sacrifice and fall into me in those areas, but we that

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survival mode of protecting ourselves from everything, including him kicks in. And he's the one thing in which we have to give all of that up for we're not supposed to give it up for anything but him which is why I gave us the survival mode emotionally and mentally

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and spiritually and whatever, but he's the one thing so it feels very foreign, because we've trained ourselves, because of how God created us to work. We've trained ourselves to operate like that.

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And we should in every area but that one. And so we don't know how to not do that anymore especially if we consider God to not be a safe place. So all of that is very normal, I came to that place.

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You know, everyone who goes through the rest intensive that goes through it. How would you put it to everyone.

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Everyone shifts in their life to the degree that they're willing to face that amount of resistance if they're only willing to face a particular amount of resistance.

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When they face it and they shifted to rest in that particular way, their life will only change to that degree, their sense they will only experience that degree of rest in the Lord and there's various people in the rest intensive that I could point out, have only

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shifted somewhat, but me knowing their background. They really haven't shifted very far.

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They've only shifted to the degree that they're able, but the people that have gone to the level of resistance that you were expecting and faced that much.

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The people that choose it, they are the ones whose lives change the most.

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This is the degree to which I change.

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This is the degree to which Carrie changed.

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These radical shifts that everybody else looks at us and going like, well, how come you experienced

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that?

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It's because I got to the point where you got.

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So I say that as an encouragement.

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It feels awful and it feels like everything's wrong, but that's actually where we're living

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in that degree of bondage.

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It's just that we're not used to letting ourselves get to the point where we experienced that

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much and then fall into the Lord.

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We either don't allow ourselves to ever get there or we allow ourselves to get there and

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then figure out some way, some coping mechanism.

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Some people go to drugs.

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Some people go to completely rejecting the Lord.

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Some people go to affairs.

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Some people go to all kinds of, some people go to suicide, some people go to all kinds

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of things in order to avoid it.

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And the Lord says, no, just release it all and fall into me.

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So anyway, I say that as an encouragement of as awful as it feels, you are allowing

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yourself to get to the point where literally everything can change and it can't change

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to the degree that you want it to for anybody.

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It can't change unless they get to your point, to your place.

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And I can tell you most of the people in the rest of the time, not everyone, most of the

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people haven't changed to the degree that you can because you got there.

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And if you, and if you fall completely through all those things into the Lord, you can be

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one of the people who radically changes the most.

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So that's why a lot of people, for a lot of people, the rest, how would I read that?

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Sometimes the people that are attracted to the rest and to hear about it and actually

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want to get in the program and do the, do the stuff and do the work are the people that

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are the most desperate.

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It's not that it doesn't work for everyone.

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It literally works for everyone, but it's sometimes only the people who are the most

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desperate that are actually willing to do what it, what it is that we all have to do.

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My sister is one of those cases as well.

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She's in the rest intensive Audra Holdsworth.

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And she did a testimony about this, about the fact, you know, she tried everything.

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She tried deliverance ministry.

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She tried, I mean, I could tell you stories of stuff that she'd gone through, but obviously

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they aren't going to because it's, you know, betraying confidence.

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But my point is I, I watched her walk through this stuff, through this hell on earth, through

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this torture, through quite honestly, demonic attacks and oppression and stuff like that.

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And she talks about some of that, I think, in her testimony.

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And anyway, and then like, and she tried all kinds of various coping mechanisms that the

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world would that the world just, I don't know, just kind of gave her as opportunities and

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ways of escape.

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And she said that she went through deliverance ministries, celebrate recovery, counseling

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sessions.

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She mentioned all kinds of things in her testimony.

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And she said, in other words, all this is public.

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And she said, she couldn't, she said nothing worked at such a root level until, until she,

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until she let go of everything and then fell into the Lord and just let go of all the resistance

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because everything else, including celebrate recovery, deliverance ministries, nothing

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else was going deep enough.

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And so she just had to abandon herself, you know, to it.

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So anyway, my, as hard as it is know that it's because it's working, it's kind of like

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a detox it's worse before it gets better.

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And it's because all of that stuff is, is there, whether or not we recognize it.

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And the horribleness is when we're finally starting to want to let it go, but it means

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that it actually comes to our acknowledgement.

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And then there's all the pain and there's all the, the struggle and all of the, whatever

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that we've tried to, that we tried to squelch.

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And it's only by letting it come up and out that it come up, that it can now go out.

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So like I said, like a detox, you know, actually has to start releasing into the bloodstream

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and makes you feel horrible in order to finally get flushed.

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But it means that it's working.

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So because it means that you, that poison is in you, including you spiritually or whatever,

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and you're already under that bondage, whether or not you recognize it and realize it and

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whether or not you're feeling the pain and whether or not you're noticing your life is

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being affected by that, by that poison and you're getting, you're living consequences

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of it.

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So to speak, it's affecting your relationships.

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It's affecting, you know, your emotions, it's affecting your perspective in life.

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Forgive my washer.

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um whether or not it's crying out for attention it'll stop in a second and uh and um we're we're

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in bondage to those things unless we allow the lord to bring it to our attention so that they

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can release so we can't have freedom by simply not knowing that we're dealing with something

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we're still in bondage to it whether if we don't even if we don't know that it's there

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um so anyway uh so i say all of that to say as awful and as painful as it is it's not because

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there's something wrong with you or that you're worse than other people or you're having a harder

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time than other people is that you're allowing you and the lord and his graciousness are allowing

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the the same garbage that we all deal with to finally come to the surface so you can be free

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of it when other people aren't their lives can look and feel and whatever nicer including even

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feel nicer but they're still having to live out the consequences of living in poison you know and

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it's it's affecting their lives even if you know they don't know that it is so god is enabling you

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to get to the point where you can be free so anyway i'm sorry that it's so painful it's um

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it's expected though as part of part of the process but uh you can you don't have to live

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with this and it's not that there's something wrong with you or that it's harder for you than

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everyone else and that you're not understanding as if you're behind or anything like that i

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promise you that's not that's not what's going on it's that you're articulating something that

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everyone else is going through you're just facing it harder and faster than they are and at a deeper

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level meaning you can transition further down and more into rest than they will unless they face it

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so anyway well that makes me i mean i've kind of i've kind of felt like that um

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i've kind of felt like that and i've always i've known there's i feel like the root of my cancer

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is a lot of just emotional maggot bondage that's just stirring inside of me and so it's like i had

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a therapy session on monday and that's when so much or tuesday so much came out that i didn't

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even know was there and i was like where is this coming from and um but it was also very freeing

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too and the same at the same time that's so i'm glad i'm glad yeah well is there anything in

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particular that um you would like to um uh that you would like to kind of like start talking about

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or anything you want me to address or anything you want me to explain or or whatever um i guess

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my like where are you right now yeah like where am i now and how do i continue like how do i

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continue moving in this way like i'm okay with it being hard i'm okay with it being painful

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um i mean right now i don't it doesn't feel like that things feel better today

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um like how do i move forward still like and just keep falling forward like you mentioned that you

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know just falling into the lord um and maybe that's a practice maybe that's just something that

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i you can't tell me how to do it i just have to experience it but following the lord yeah and just

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like you know you mentioned um survival and i feel like i've been survival mode for a long time

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and like i can't imagine life out of that but it sounds so glorious like that's what i want

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yeah um now yeah go ahead go ahead i'm done well all i was going to ask was clarification so you

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said that you've been in survival mode for so long uh like i'm assuming by so long you're talking

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about prior to the diagnosis like where is it coming from that what survival mode and what

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probably just from the last gosh eightish years ever since my second son was born

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things have just been hard just kids adding kids to the family and more children has just

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brought to the surface my my perfectionism and my um needing to feel like i have to do

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everything right and follow the rules even more it's like up to the auntie of my um

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of some of those qualities that aren't supporting me if that makes sense qualities that aren't

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supporting you oh you mean where you're not matching up to what you think you're supposed

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to do or the outcome you thought that you're you're being accountable to get yes okay okay yeah

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and uh and so what what can you tell

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Is that I'm going back to my memory, trying to remember what can you tell me about about your background?

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I mean, like were you raised in a Christian home? Was it legalism?

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Was it did you require it? Was there a lot of perfectionism required of you?

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Or did you feel that you had to in order to survive an abusive situation?

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Or where do you think this developed from?

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It might like grew up in it. I grew up in a Catholic home.

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And although I don't feel like my parents were legalistic, I feel like it's ingrained in me.

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Like I got it from somewhere. OK. And.

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I'm I feel like it wasn't until

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maybe college that I really like grabbed onto it,

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like the control of.

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Well, I played college volleyball, but I was like a second pick

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and not a first pick. And.

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When I went to school and started playing,

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I always felt like I was never good enough in college.

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And like my whole four years were hard. They were awful.

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I always felt like I was an awful volleyball player,

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even though I got a scholarship, you know, like doesn't make sense.

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And then my senior year of college, I got in really great shape.

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I wanted to show up in good shape.

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And I did. And my coach for the first time in four years

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acknowledged how good of shape I was in.

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And it was almost like I feel like I clung to that.

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And then I became probably

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obsessed with food and working out.

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And then I went into the health and wellness industry.

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And it was kind of like a that's where I got my worth.

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That's where I found I was good enough

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and I knew how to be successful by controlling certain things.

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Yeah. And I also had like I didn't have an abusive upbringing.

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My mom was sick most of my childhood.

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So I feel like I took care of myself a lot.

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And my dad was very.

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He he loved me, but if I didn't do things

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like if he was trying to teach me something,

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he would get frustrated really easily if I couldn't do it right away.

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And looking back, I know that he was quite frustrated

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because he didn't know how to teach me.

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But I took that as I'm not good enough.

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And so I think I've always been trying to earn his approval

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of being good enough.

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And that's why, you know, I've I've been successful at businesses

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and multiple things.

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It's like I've I've got my worth from that as well.

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Yeah. So. Yeah.

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And so that makes sense.

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You know, that that that sense of perfectionism or desire

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to perform or a need to perform would come from.

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But also from the and I don't have to know all these things.

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I just thought sometimes, you know, it's something I'll just jump out at me

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and I'll be like, ask them, ask them about their background.

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And so I'm like, OK, let's put them in my car.

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And but also what really jumped out at me

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was when you said that your mom was sick because and that's what I thought.

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I thought, I wonder if she came from a home

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where she had to take care of herself, where you're going through a

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a phase or a time of your life where you're supposed to be taken care of,

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not read on her responsibilities, but you're but where you're taught

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the responsibilities while you're being covered and while you get

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to receive the benefit of being taken care of,

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where the outcome wasn't always dependent on you.

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Because if we believe that if especially,

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you know, we've grown up in various circumstances, particularly

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if someone's the oldest or someone in it, if a parent greatly depends

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on the performance of a child, either to help take care of themselves,

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either to help take care of the parent or to take care of themselves

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because the parent is just emotionally or physically abandoned them.

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Or, you know, like I said, they have to

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relies on them to help take care of like other children.

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From that a child who's very impressionable

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because he's trying to understand life and understand his interaction with it.

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We can develop this idea that that what's expected of us

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is our performance, that other people's interactions with us

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are dependent on our performance.

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And and quite honestly, that our survival is dependent on it.

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I don't think I'm repeating myself there.

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But anyway, that our survival is dependent on it.

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And and so we can just develop this sense that our like I said,

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our survival is dependent on what it is that we do, what it is that we know,

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whether or not we're prepared and whether or not we're good at.

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applying what we've learned because we can learn something all we want, but if, um, are we good at

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actually applying it? And, um, so anyway, that's where a lot of where some stuff can come from,

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but, uh, as far as like how to actually, well, before I move on, do you have, did you have

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anything that you wanted to add or. Um, I don't just that, like the, the thing that came up for

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me Tuesday was actually that in regards to my mom and her being sick and how.

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I didn't realize that had such a big effect on me. Yeah. So especially as an adult, when we look

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back and we're like, well, you know, obviously we feel bad for a mom. We, we, my goodness, it's

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awful to be sick. I mean, poor thing. I mean, she, you know, she didn't want to be sick. She

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didn't ask for that. And we don't want to in any way blame somebody else, you know, for how,

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for a situation they didn't want to be in. That was very hard on them because of how it affected

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us. And so sometimes that's, that's, that's the only way that we understand how to approach a

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situation is if blame has to go somewhere and it just doesn't, it doesn't have to go on you.

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And it doesn't have to go on your mom. It, it, it just, it was what it was, but it doesn't make

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what happened to you. Right. We're appropriate or age appropriate, or what God intended as a

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very healthy way in which you could develop. So in an aspect of speaking, you developed a very

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unhealthy perspective of life because that's not the way God intended you to have to develop.

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He intended you to learn safety and security and being able to trust yourself with other people,

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you know, be able to know that you could deserve and you could expect to be provided for taking

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care of where you didn't have to do everything where the weight of your existence and everybody

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else around you doesn't depend on you. And he didn't intend for you to get the message

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that, and the understanding that you did, but because of your situation, it's very natural

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that you would develop what it is that you did. So my point is saying that you developed a very

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unhealthy perspective is to relieve you of any blame on yourself or, or your, or your mom

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for the situation that you just found yourself in that would just naturally develop into what

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it is that it did. And God never intended that because it, um, he intended you to be taking care

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of and the situation didn't do that. And so therefore it's not, it's not just, and like I

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said, it's not what he intended. Um, so, uh, so anyway, but, um, uh, as far as like how to begin

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to like over to overcome these things, especially if you believe, you know, especially how to shift

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out of a sense of survival mode is we believe that everything depends on us at the outcome

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that whether or not, I don't know, all the things get done today that we thought needed to get done.

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You know, the dishwasher gets unloaded, all of the kids get to where they need to get. Um,

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so that they have the education they need. They have the opportunity they need. You meet all of

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the commitments that you've made, um, you know, so that things don't start falling through the

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cracks because you missed one thing today, you know, because we basically weigh the whole future

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on, on our performance today. We can't miss anything. We can't get anything wrong because

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if we do, we are going, we're so powerful that we're going to affect and destroy all of this,

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or we're going to actually make it successful. And it really doesn't depend on us, but we have to do

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is we have the opportunity to choose to be responsible. Um, for all of the outcomes,

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today's outcomes and everyone, all the residual domino effect of them. We have the opportunity

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to choose to be responsible for them, which is what Adam and Eve chose. Adam and Eve chose,

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you know what, I'm going to choose the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. In other words,

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it was, it wasn't the good tree and it wasn't evil tree. It was the knowledge tree. It was the

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knowledge of good and evil that they decided to rely on instead of God, instead of, you know,

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we could call it the tree of life, but here's, what's fascinating in a manner of speaking,

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the choice was not between the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

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The choice this was between the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and.

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all the other trees. There were a myriad of trees to choose from. And God said, Eve said,

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God said, you can eat from any tree in the garden. The choice wasn't, you know, as black and white

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as like, oh, well, it's only the tree of life or, or dichotomous, as I think is what they call it,

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where, you know, where there's two choices, where it's just, you know, the tree of life or the tree

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of the knowledge of good and evil is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or all the other

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trees. But here's what's, well, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. So, so it was about the knowledge

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of good and evil. In other words, it was, it wasn't doing something bad. Oh, instead of doing

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something good, I want to do something bad. It was no, I believe God is holding out on me. And

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I want to be able to provide, I want to be able to know the difference between good and evil.

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Who wants to know the difference between good and evil, not evil people. They don't care

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people who want to do good. They want to know the difference. What is good? What is evil? So that I

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know in that I can pick it's relying on your own knowledge of a situation and, and like depending

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your life and the outcomes and the result of a formula on your effort, your exertion, your

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knowledge, your application, that is what they chose. In fact, and this is what I had almost

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gotten ahead to while ago is in Romans seven, it mentions that that the, that the law is holy.

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And that's what the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is. It's the law, the law is holy. So

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therefore the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was a holy tree. There's nothing wrong with

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that tree. The problem was God said, don't eat of it when we eat something. And you know this better

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than anyone, when you eat something, you know, because your background, your expertise, when you

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eat something, your body is using that thing as fuel. That is the thing from which you're sourced.

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That's what God said was wrong. In fact, God gave them a mandate to take care of the trees in the

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garden. So they were supposed to take care of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because

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God doesn't create bad things. It was a good thing wrong with the tree. God said, take care of it,

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love on it. If it's dying, give it nutrition, which it wasn't dying back then. But you know what I'm

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saying? It's like, you can't tend it. He said, but don't eat of it. In other words, don't use it

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as a source of energy. That's the, from which you're fueling you, any exertion that your body

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then puts out, you know, give you energy to do anything. He said, do not use that as your source.

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That was the problem. So, so don't use your own knowledge of what's right and wrong in order to

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live life and create an outcome. Instead, he said, just live by your relationship with me and by

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operating out of your being, because you were born of me, you're born of my spirit, you're born,

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and therefore you were carrying my spirit, carrying my DNA. You exude my character. My

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character is your character. Live out of that being. Therefore you don't have to know the

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difference between good and evil. Eve, until she ate it, she didn't know the difference between

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good and evil. She ate it in order to know. And it says that in the Bible, it says, she saw that it

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was, it was pleasing to the eye and that would, that it would teach her that, you know, from it,

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she could gain wisdom, you know, the difference. And, and because that's what Satan said, he said,

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he knows that when you eat it, you'll be like him and know the difference between the two.

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They didn't need to know the difference if they always did what's good, because they simply were

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reflecting the character of God. So that is the place from which they could get all of their

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outcomes was from the natural character of their being, which was always good. And the only source

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of that can be if you're completely unified with God, living from his character, from your being,

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from your identity of being unified with him. And then he creates the result. It's like a, you know,

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it talks about, um, the Gentiles being grafted into, uh, I remember it was grafted into the tree

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or grafted into the vine, but anyway, you know, talking about, you know, his mind where the

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branches and were grafted in as the Gentiles, because it's from just like the branches and

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the vine and just like, you know, a graft into a tree it's, it's, it's being given its nutrients

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and its source of energy from the original tree or from, you know, the branch from the vine,

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the branches.

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isn't creating its own.

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It's receiving it from something else.

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It just facilitates the movement of all of those nutrients

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through its branch, you know, from the vine,

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through its branch to create a fruit.

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But the branch isn't creating the fruit.

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It's the thing that the branch is grafted into

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that's flowing through it, that's creating the fruit.

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That's the choice that we're called to make.

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That's the choice that Adam and Eve were given to make.

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That's the choice that we're called to make every day.

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Are you gonna be responsible for the results?

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Are you gonna choose that it's your energy,

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your effort, your action, your knowledge, your wisdom,

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what it is you know, how it is you know to apply it,

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whether or not you did a good job applying it,

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whether or not you used your time wisely or whatever,

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or are you gonna release,

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and that determines whether or not

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you get a particular outcome.

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So if it's a good outcome,

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you must've done something right.

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And if it's a bad outcome,

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you must've done something wrong and messed up somewhere.

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It's just all on you.

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If it's good, it's all on you.

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And if it's bad, it's all on you.

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You know, it's very, it's very oppressive, very weighty.

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It's quite a burden.

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Do we, do you choose to live like that?

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Or do we choose instead, no God,

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I release the outcome to only be a result

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of whatever it is that you determine.

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What I do, Lord, is I, because I no longer, you know,

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because I'm giving it to you,

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I'm no longer carrying the burden, the weight,

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and the responsibility of determining the outcome

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by my action or by my inaction.

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So therefore it relieves my action

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and determining the result.

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So now I'm free in my,

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to operate in my action through the spirit.

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So in other words, we can still, we still go to work.

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You know, we still drop the kids off at school.

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We still do all of this stuff,

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but God's the one who actually creates the outcome.

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It's not our action that creates the outcome.

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The action is basically kind of like us providing a branch,

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if you will, it's us and our branch,

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providing a funnel, a structure through which

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we're allowing God's spirit to flow

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and determine what happens.

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Not that he's saying that it's the,

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I don't know how to just, how to describe it.

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Like if you picked the right action,

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well, then you'd get this result.

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Or if you pick the wrong action,

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you're gonna get a bad result.

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He's like, no, let my spirit determine the result.

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At mine, meaning God's.

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God's saying, God's saying,

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let my spirit determine the result.

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You just get to enjoy the process with me,

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but you have to abandon yourself to,

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and surrender yourself to me and release control

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of creating and determining the outcome.

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Because by simply taking on emotionally

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the responsibility that it relies on you,

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release the responsibility that it relies on you.

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Basically, it's like you're giving it up.

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Doesn't mean that you're not doing it.

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And it doesn't mean that you're not doing the action.

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It means that you are no longer holding your action

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and you responsible for what happens.

398
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But you're still doing the thing because now it's fun.

399
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Now the action's not pressure.

400
00:33:30.100 --> 00:33:34.900
Now the time management isn't stressful.

401
00:33:34.900 --> 00:33:38.660
Now the going to the doctor's visits or the exercising

402
00:33:38.660 --> 00:33:43.660
or the doing research and discovering new ways

403
00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:47.160
to cure cancer through natural,

404
00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:50.760
through natural things, natural processes

405
00:33:50.760 --> 00:33:53.240
and natural laws that God gave us.

406
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Now, all of that is more fun, if you will.

407
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In other words, it's more effortless.

408
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You get to enjoy learning something that God created

409
00:34:05.040 --> 00:34:07.280
and how you can get to decide with the Lord,

410
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which aspects that y'all believe

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that should partner in the process.

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But God's the one who will heal you.

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Not whether or not you found the right information

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or you didn't find the right information

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00:34:21.340 --> 00:34:24.940
or you, I don't know, exercised enough

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or you didn't exercise enough

417
00:34:26.400 --> 00:34:29.300
or you found the right doctors or you didn't or whatever.

418
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It's no, no, no, God's going to determine what,

419
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God is the one who is going to determine the result.

420
00:34:36.300 --> 00:34:38.639
It's God's spirit that's in his power

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00:34:38.639 --> 00:34:40.699
that's going to flow through.

422
00:34:40.719 --> 00:34:45.719
And so now your actions no longer bear that pressure

423
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and that responsibility of creating it.

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They're not creating the fuel.

425
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They're not creating the energy

426
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by which the outcome is determined.

427
00:34:59.680 --> 00:35:00.520
They just-

428
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is there a structure to facilitate the flow of the spirit?

429
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And so you ask the Lord, what aspect of creation,

430
00:35:07.400 --> 00:35:09.140
which laws that you have created,

431
00:35:09.140 --> 00:35:10.720
which naturopathic ways,

432
00:35:10.720 --> 00:35:13.180
or how many times I should exercise,

433
00:35:13.180 --> 00:35:16.440
or how long I should exercise, or which one should I do,

434
00:35:16.440 --> 00:35:19.280
or which foods I should eat or avoid or whatever,

435
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:23.120
which aspect, which laws by which you created things

436
00:35:23.120 --> 00:35:28.120
to work, do you want to partner with us as a structure

437
00:35:28.840 --> 00:35:31.760
while you are doing what it is that you want to do,

438
00:35:31.760 --> 00:35:35.200
while you are creating the outcome through your spirit

439
00:35:35.200 --> 00:35:37.200
that you desire.

440
00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:40.960
It's completely relieving the pressure

441
00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:42.940
off of what you're doing,

442
00:35:42.940 --> 00:35:45.160
but it doesn't mean you don't do it.

443
00:35:45.160 --> 00:35:48.840
But now that the pressure is off, now it's more fun.

444
00:35:48.840 --> 00:35:50.360
Now it's more easy.

445
00:35:50.360 --> 00:35:52.600
It's easier to hear God.

446
00:35:52.600 --> 00:35:54.280
It's, you can hear him more clearly

447
00:35:54.280 --> 00:35:56.520
because you're no longer being,

448
00:35:56.520 --> 00:35:59.400
you no longer have all of that internal noise

449
00:35:59.400 --> 00:36:04.240
that we develop from the pressure of having to get it right

450
00:36:05.520 --> 00:36:08.200
and having to suffer the potential consequences

451
00:36:08.200 --> 00:36:09.360
if we get it wrong.

452
00:36:10.560 --> 00:36:12.480
It's not on you anymore.

453
00:36:13.640 --> 00:36:17.320
So now you get to just enjoy the Lord,

454
00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:19.780
enjoy the development of your relationship with him.

455
00:36:19.780 --> 00:36:24.780
Enjoy him as you and he flow out of your spirit

456
00:36:25.780 --> 00:36:28.820
with the Lord and your relationship with him

457
00:36:28.820 --> 00:36:32.620
into the world while you exercise.

458
00:36:32.620 --> 00:36:34.180
Okay, Lord, we're going to go,

459
00:36:34.180 --> 00:36:35.300
we're going to go exercise today

460
00:36:35.300 --> 00:36:37.300
and we're going to do it this amount of time

461
00:36:37.300 --> 00:36:38.500
and let you and the Lord,

462
00:36:38.500 --> 00:36:41.580
you'd sense with the Lord about how long that should be

463
00:36:41.580 --> 00:36:44.980
and how much of that,

464
00:36:44.980 --> 00:36:47.940
how much energy you should exert

465
00:36:47.940 --> 00:36:50.780
or how often you should do it or what you should eat

466
00:36:50.780 --> 00:36:52.620
or et cetera.

467
00:36:52.620 --> 00:36:55.740
You determine that between you and the Lord.

468
00:36:55.740 --> 00:36:59.420
And so your responsibility is simply to focus on him.

469
00:36:59.420 --> 00:37:04.060
And so now it changes all of your actions

470
00:37:04.060 --> 00:37:08.020
from focusing on your action has,

471
00:37:08.020 --> 00:37:11.180
creates the result to instead being like

472
00:37:11.180 --> 00:37:13.540
your action is allowing you to,

473
00:37:13.540 --> 00:37:17.180
is giving you a way through which you and God

474
00:37:17.180 --> 00:37:19.620
are interacting and enjoying each other.

475
00:37:19.620 --> 00:37:22.740
You're putting all of your focus on him

476
00:37:23.660 --> 00:37:25.820
while he does stuff.

477
00:37:25.820 --> 00:37:27.140
Because think of it, all of it,

478
00:37:27.140 --> 00:37:28.980
think of it, all of your actions and whatever

479
00:37:28.980 --> 00:37:30.900
and your knowledge and whether or not

480
00:37:30.900 --> 00:37:33.300
you should pick this doctor or that doctor

481
00:37:33.300 --> 00:37:34.140
to help you or whatever,

482
00:37:34.140 --> 00:37:36.140
all of that, you're already asking God

483
00:37:36.140 --> 00:37:38.900
about which one you should do, right?

484
00:37:38.900 --> 00:37:43.900
So think about if you got to enjoy just asking God

485
00:37:44.100 --> 00:37:47.140
because that's what you and he are doing together,

486
00:37:47.140 --> 00:37:49.260
not God, what do you want me to do?

487
00:37:49.900 --> 00:37:52.220
And I better hear you in order to get it right.

488
00:37:52.220 --> 00:37:55.460
My goodness, that's coming at it from the perspective

489
00:37:55.460 --> 00:37:57.620
that you and God are separated

490
00:37:57.620 --> 00:38:00.940
and he's just this taskmaster instructing something to you

491
00:38:00.940 --> 00:38:03.860
and you better make sure to hear him right.

492
00:38:03.860 --> 00:38:06.020
And then let alone have the courage to do it,

493
00:38:06.020 --> 00:38:07.140
but I'm sure that you would.

494
00:38:07.140 --> 00:38:08.780
The majority of it is just like,

495
00:38:08.780 --> 00:38:10.780
we're just afraid that we're gonna,

496
00:38:10.780 --> 00:38:12.340
that we're just not gonna hear him.

497
00:38:12.340 --> 00:38:15.540
But that's approaching it from this expectation

498
00:38:15.540 --> 00:38:18.620
that I have a hard time hearing God

499
00:38:18.700 --> 00:38:22.540
or God and me aren't that close.

500
00:38:22.540 --> 00:38:24.340
God and I aren't that close.

501
00:38:24.340 --> 00:38:28.780
And an English major should never say God and me.

502
00:38:28.780 --> 00:38:30.980
God and I aren't that close.

503
00:38:33.460 --> 00:38:35.020
I just like horrified myself.

504
00:38:37.500 --> 00:38:40.060
So, but God and I aren't that close

505
00:38:40.060 --> 00:38:44.700
or having, whenever you approach God about a decision,

506
00:38:44.700 --> 00:38:46.540
you approach it from this perspective

507
00:38:46.580 --> 00:38:50.020
of all of the times in which you tried to hear from God,

508
00:38:50.020 --> 00:38:52.460
but didn't, and you so very badly hope

509
00:38:52.460 --> 00:38:55.140
that this isn't one of those situations again.

510
00:38:55.140 --> 00:38:56.820
We're approaching every,

511
00:38:56.820 --> 00:38:58.980
we have a tendency to approach everything

512
00:38:58.980 --> 00:39:03.980
from the foundation or the root

513
00:39:04.580 --> 00:39:09.580
that there's a problem between God and us

514
00:39:10.060 --> 00:39:14.740
and that we can't hear him or that there's whatever.

515
00:39:14.740 --> 00:39:16.940
And we, what instead what we need to do

516
00:39:16.940 --> 00:39:19.300
is we always need to approach it from this perspective,

517
00:39:19.300 --> 00:39:21.620
from this expectation, from this joy,

518
00:39:21.620 --> 00:39:26.620
from this perspective of a child who runs up to his dad

519
00:39:26.740 --> 00:39:28.140
while he's in the middle of something,

520
00:39:28.140 --> 00:39:29.300
juts up in his lap,

521
00:39:29.300 --> 00:39:31.340
knowing that he's always gonna be loved and accepted.

522
00:39:31.340 --> 00:39:33.060
And we have to approach it from that way

523
00:39:33.060 --> 00:39:34.420
because then God's like,

524
00:39:34.420 --> 00:39:36.660
now you're declaring and claiming me

525
00:39:36.660 --> 00:39:38.460
to be who I've told you that I am.

526
00:39:38.460 --> 00:39:40.380
So therefore that's how I will show up

527
00:39:41.260 --> 00:39:44.220
because that is who you're agreeing with me that I am.

528
00:39:44.260 --> 00:39:45.980
I've been telling you, I am that,

529
00:39:45.980 --> 00:39:48.100
but I can't show up for you like that

530
00:39:48.100 --> 00:39:50.540
until you claim me to be how I've told you

531
00:39:50.540 --> 00:39:51.420
that I'm going to be.

532
00:39:51.420 --> 00:39:53.940
Then you get to benefit from me being it

533
00:39:53.940 --> 00:39:56.740
because it's, you've given me permission

534
00:39:56.740 --> 00:39:59.340
to be myself in your life.

535
00:39:59.340 --> 00:40:00.180
So anyway, so that.

536
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.600
very important to approach it from that perspective, to approach those decisions,

537
00:40:03.600 --> 00:40:10.000
those questions with him of like, Hey God, which doctor do we pick? Or, you know, this doctor said

538
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.800
this, is that right? Or should we get a second opinion? You know, and that's obviously for those

539
00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:17.920
things, you know, that you're questioning of like, well, I don't really know, you know,

540
00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:22.080
you know, how do we, how do we go through all of this? You're already asking God,

541
00:40:22.080 --> 00:40:27.920
ask God though now from this perspective of X in this expectation that this is you and God

542
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:33.360
living life together. Okay. God, this is you and me. You are living, having an earthly experience

543
00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:40.640
through me as a woman, my age. And then this is how you are now experiencing life. And I'm

544
00:40:40.640 --> 00:40:46.400
experiencing life in this physical form in your spirit and my spirit are connected in the, in

545
00:40:46.400 --> 00:40:54.640
the spirit realm. And we're simply projecting that into a different form. I think that I mentioned

546
00:40:54.640 --> 00:40:59.040
maybe that, uh, that what it is that we're doing here on earth is we're taking, you know,

547
00:40:59.040 --> 00:41:02.880
something that already exists in spirit, who it is that we are in spirit. And we're simply putting

548
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:09.200
it into a different form. So say for instance, like if, if, uh, like water is, can appear as

549
00:41:09.200 --> 00:41:14.800
vapor as liquid or as ice. And so if it's vapors think for instance, spirit and everything that

550
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:21.200
already exists in spirit in order to change its form, all we're doing is we just slow down the

551
00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:26.080
water mall. It slowed down the molecules so that they become more of a liquid form and slow them

552
00:41:26.080 --> 00:41:32.480
down even further where they're hardly moving. And that, that, that gives us the form of ice,

553
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:37.680
but we're not changing it from water to orange juice. We're simply taking that which already

554
00:41:37.680 --> 00:41:44.000
exists and we're simply portraying it or expressing it in a different form. That's what you and the

555
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:50.160
Lord are doing all day. Every day is taking who you already are in your relationship with him.

556
00:41:50.160 --> 00:41:56.640
What that looks like currently in the spirit and you were projecting it into a physical form,

557
00:41:56.640 --> 00:42:02.720
but you're not making up something new. You're simply taking who it is that you already are.

558
00:42:02.720 --> 00:42:07.680
And you're learning how to project that into, into a different form, taking it from,

559
00:42:07.680 --> 00:42:13.440
from water vapor and turning it into an ice cube or whatever. Jesus showed us that as an example,

560
00:42:13.440 --> 00:42:21.920
when it says that word was made flesh, the word was made flesh. God already existed.

561
00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:28.560
Jesus already existed as word. He just put himself into a physical form and he expressed the,

562
00:42:28.560 --> 00:42:35.360
he expressed God in a very literally into a different realm. He translated it from Greek

563
00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:40.240
into English. That's the same kind of a thing. You turning from water vapor to ice,

564
00:42:40.240 --> 00:42:44.960
turning from Greek to English, you're taking something that already existed and you're just

565
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:50.240
shifting the form in which expresses itself. That is what you're doing all day, every day,

566
00:42:50.960 --> 00:42:54.960
not accomplishing something. You're not going somewhere. You're not, there's not some

567
00:42:54.960 --> 00:43:02.000
destination that you're getting, that you're getting to your existence is all about existence.

568
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:06.960
Meaning like in the heavens, you know, in the fact that you exist, not your honor,

569
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:10.480
but that you exist because we're going to, we were going to exist even after we die.

570
00:43:11.280 --> 00:43:15.120
You know, the fact that you exist, the whole point is the development of your relationship.

571
00:43:15.120 --> 00:43:20.720
So the development of your relationship is going on in your spirit. The physical is simply

572
00:43:20.720 --> 00:43:27.600
expressing and putting into a visible form that which already exists. My point in, in like

573
00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:34.000
driving that home is you have got to come from the perspective that you're already victorious.

574
00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:39.360
You already are the thing. You're not trying to become it and trying to work really hard

575
00:43:39.920 --> 00:43:46.720
to turn into something or to become this. I don't know how to word that, but to become better

576
00:43:46.720 --> 00:43:52.720
or to become more of a Christian or something like that. You've already developed, you're already

577
00:43:52.720 --> 00:43:56.560
developing this relationship with God in which you're coming to just know each other better.

578
00:43:57.120 --> 00:44:00.800
And you're never going to get to the end of it. You're never going to arrive anywhere

579
00:44:01.520 --> 00:44:06.320
because God who's infinite, he's ever expanding. So you're never going to get to the end of them.

580
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:13.760
So there's no destination that he has in mind. He's like, let's just continue to relate. Let's

581
00:44:13.760 --> 00:44:19.520
just continue to you be affected by me and I be affected by you. And then you'd be affected by me.

582
00:44:19.520 --> 00:44:25.760
And then I'd be affected by you. And then we develop an intimacy, a closeness. We develop,

583
00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:33.120
we get to know each other better. We change. And as we change, we change in how we interact.

584
00:44:34.560 --> 00:44:41.360
And then how do we want to just put that on display so that other people can see God,

585
00:44:42.080 --> 00:44:48.000
so that other people can see what you and God look like together. That is the purpose of you

586
00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:52.880
creating a business. Of you picking the husband that you did, of you having the children that

587
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:58.560
you do, of you creating the home life that you have. It's putting on display who are you and

588
00:44:58.560 --> 00:44:59.840
God together and how are you.

589
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.400
How are you bringing something that's in the spirit and making it into a physical reality?

590
00:45:07.520 --> 00:45:14.880
So the pressure is off of this whole thing of like, I'm supposed to accomplish something.

591
00:45:14.880 --> 00:45:20.560
I'm supposed to figure something out. I'm supposed to get somewhere. The focus is the

592
00:45:20.560 --> 00:45:26.320
development of the relationship, release, and then enjoy the development of the relationship.

593
00:45:27.280 --> 00:45:35.680
How do you know I want to express ourselves today? How long should we exercise? What should we do?

594
00:45:36.720 --> 00:45:41.040
Lord, what foods do you and I want to eat? And I don't mean this is a burden, like you're

595
00:45:41.040 --> 00:45:45.600
constantly asking God these specific questions. I'm talking about a heart posture towards the

596
00:45:45.600 --> 00:45:50.640
Lord. Who are you and I together? What is it that we want to do? Where is it that we want to go?

597
00:45:50.720 --> 00:45:57.520
Um, what, uh, what aspect of create of, of creation of rules that you created of how

598
00:45:57.520 --> 00:46:03.520
Western medicine works or naturopathy works or, or, you know, which particular doctors that you've,

599
00:46:03.520 --> 00:46:07.040
that you've given background instruction in a heart and spirit for me.

600
00:46:08.240 --> 00:46:14.720
What's the pet, what do we want to be part of? What do, what aspects of all of that do we want

601
00:46:14.720 --> 00:46:20.080
to partner with us to be part of the journey of what this, this healing journey looks like

602
00:46:20.080 --> 00:46:25.120
in the physical form. So, because we know that in your spirit, you're perfectly healed.

603
00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:33.120
So, but there's this challenge and there's this attack in the physical. So how do you express

604
00:46:33.120 --> 00:46:41.520
who it is that you are in the spirit together? So that that has a, um, uh, has a stronger voice

605
00:46:41.520 --> 00:46:47.440
presentation and an expression than the attack that's coming against you. How do you and the

606
00:46:47.440 --> 00:46:55.280
Lord move, um, bring more of the spirit that you are in heaven into the earth. Uh, so anyway,

607
00:46:55.280 --> 00:47:03.600
I say all of that to say, to, to kind of paint this picture of how I can say, we're God calls

608
00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:09.360
us to relieve ourselves of everything that we are holding ourselves accountable for and believes that

609
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:14.480
he is holding us accountable for. He created us for the development of the relationship.

610
00:47:15.280 --> 00:47:20.400
So we got it. He put us on this earth to simply show it in physical form.

611
00:47:21.840 --> 00:47:26.000
And one of the things that we're doing, and I'll only mention this as a side note, not to like

612
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:33.920
kind of get us off track or, or add confusion or anything, but the, our create a creation

613
00:47:33.920 --> 00:47:37.600
is that, you know, according to Romans eight, you remember what I, we were talking about in Romans

614
00:47:37.600 --> 00:47:42.640
seven, that says the law is holy and dah, dah, dah. And, and, but when we interact with it,

615
00:47:42.640 --> 00:47:48.240
it brings forth death within us. But remember it says it, Paul makes it very clear. He said,

616
00:47:48.240 --> 00:47:55.040
it brings forth death within you, but the law itself is holy and does not cause something

617
00:47:55.040 --> 00:48:00.000
like it doesn't create sin or it doesn't create death or it doesn't create something like that.

618
00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:05.200
But it's saying it, there's something in us that dies when we interact with the law.

619
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:10.560
That's what he was saying is he said, it doesn't make the law bad. And the law didn't kill you.

620
00:48:10.560 --> 00:48:15.360
It's our, when something within us, when we interact with the law, it then dies. So that's

621
00:48:15.360 --> 00:48:19.440
why he could say the law is holy. But anyway, it moves on into Romans eight. And it says, of course,

622
00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:23.440
in Romans eight one, there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

623
00:48:23.440 --> 00:48:27.600
Because of course he was just talking about the law and sin and dah, dah, dah. So he's transitioning

624
00:48:27.600 --> 00:48:32.080
now. And now he, and I recommend that, that after we get off of this, or, you know, whenever you

625
00:48:32.080 --> 00:48:37.680
have a chance tonight to read this, to read, you can read Romans seven, if you want, but definitely

626
00:48:37.680 --> 00:48:42.400
100% read Romans eight. That's where all the, that's where all of the hope is and all the

627
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:48.080
explanation of what on earth are we doing here on this earth. And what it says that we're doing is,

628
00:48:48.080 --> 00:48:53.120
it says we're here to release creation from frustration because all of creation is groaning

629
00:48:53.120 --> 00:49:00.480
in anticipation of the manifestation of the sons of God. What that means is that all of creation is

630
00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:08.640
waiting until the sons of God put themselves on display. In other words, express who it is that

631
00:49:08.640 --> 00:49:15.520
they already are in the spirit, finally into physical form. Remember the word was made flesh.

632
00:49:15.520 --> 00:49:22.320
The sons of God are called to manifest just like Jesus did. And so it says that when they,

633
00:49:22.320 --> 00:49:26.480
when it does that, it's going to release creation from frustration. And Paul says,

634
00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:33.760
including our own bodies. And in fact, he says that it was for the redemption of our body.

635
00:49:34.320 --> 00:49:38.080
It doesn't even say for our soul. And he doesn't even say for our flesh. He says very specifically

636
00:49:38.080 --> 00:49:42.880
for our body flesh, meaning both soul and body. That's what the flesh is, is both soul and body.

637
00:49:43.920 --> 00:49:50.000
But it says that for the redemption of our bodies is the hope for which we were saved.

638
00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:57.360
Your body itself is coming under attack. It's subjected to frustration. There is,

639
00:49:58.000 --> 00:49:59.840
there's aspects in Jesus was.

640
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.560
Born into the same body that we are.

641
00:50:01.980 --> 00:50:07.080
It is, it's a flesh that is subject to corruption, subject to death, meaning

642
00:50:07.080 --> 00:50:12.000
that it is subject to attacks coming against it to try to destroy it,

643
00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:14.000
where it feels it's victimized.

644
00:50:14.700 --> 00:50:21.000
And God wants us to bring the message to the whole earth, including our own, our

645
00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:26.280
own soul and our own body that we are not our soul and our body, and that we're

646
00:50:26.280 --> 00:50:31.280
actually spirit, that we are in relationship with God, that we're one

647
00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:37.100
with God, and therefore we don't have to feel, we can be released from this

648
00:50:37.100 --> 00:50:40.960
sense of frustration, meaning like not a frustration as unlike I want, just

649
00:50:40.960 --> 00:50:46.440
frustrated, it's frustration is like this stifling, you know, this, um, this

650
00:50:46.440 --> 00:50:50.240
coming against this oppression where there, where it's in, where, uh, where

651
00:50:50.240 --> 00:50:53.120
creation is in bondage, that's what that frustration means.

652
00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:57.040
It's subjected, uh, not of its own free will into bondage.

653
00:50:57.600 --> 00:51:03.400
And, um, and we're called to put, when we show that no, we're not our bodies,

654
00:51:03.400 --> 00:51:05.720
we're not our soul, we're actually our spirit.

655
00:51:06.320 --> 00:51:09.160
I am a son of God, and I'm going to manifest myself.

656
00:51:09.220 --> 00:51:14.240
I'm going to put who God and I are on to display that changes everything.

657
00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:18.620
And it, and our souls and our bodies go through this journey where they begin

658
00:51:18.620 --> 00:51:23.420
to come into more of a, more of a realization that, oh, you mean that I

659
00:51:23.420 --> 00:51:29.400
don't have to sit, I'm not weaker than my attacks that are coming against me.

660
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:37.400
I don't have to succumb to the laws of nature, which currently are subjected to

661
00:51:37.400 --> 00:51:40.940
death and everything, you know, the law of entropy, everything's going, you

662
00:51:40.940 --> 00:51:43.040
know, towards, towards death, et cetera.

663
00:51:43.040 --> 00:51:47.240
That's the, that's the, the law of entropy didn't exist until the fall

664
00:51:47.920 --> 00:51:52.080
that everything is slowly going towards, um, towards slowing down and just

665
00:51:52.200 --> 00:51:56.160
destruction and breaking apart and whatever that, that didn't happen until

666
00:51:56.160 --> 00:52:00.480
the second law of second law of thermodynamics is what I was trying to

667
00:52:00.480 --> 00:52:03.480
say, didn't come into existence until the fall.

668
00:52:04.240 --> 00:52:07.640
Um, but anyway, and that's what Adam, you know, introduced and

669
00:52:07.640 --> 00:52:10.160
Jesus had victory over that.

670
00:52:10.160 --> 00:52:12.080
And he said, that's no longer the case.

671
00:52:12.120 --> 00:52:18.680
It no longer is subject to it, but it has to know that it's not, and

672
00:52:18.680 --> 00:52:20.760
it has to choose that it's not.

673
00:52:21.160 --> 00:52:26.280
And so it's this whole process that we go through and there's so much, especially

674
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:30.720
about physical healing that I know all this to be true and God says it in black

675
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:34.840
and white, it says, but the redemption of our bodies, the hope for which we were

676
00:52:34.840 --> 00:52:41.600
saved, and yet I even struggle sometimes with my, um, with my body believing me

677
00:52:41.600 --> 00:52:43.920
when I command it to get over a headache.

678
00:52:45.200 --> 00:52:47.480
Sometimes it obeys me and sometimes it doesn't.

679
00:52:47.480 --> 00:52:49.120
And then I have to go to Tylenol.

680
00:52:49.160 --> 00:52:53.280
So, I mean, I'm talking about a headache and I'm not talking about, you know, for,

681
00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:57.240
for me that I interact and that's not, it's not, you know, and I'm not even

682
00:52:57.240 --> 00:52:59.800
talking about cancer, you know, and trying to combat that.

683
00:53:00.160 --> 00:53:06.160
So when I'm talking about are not things that I fully have experienced.

684
00:53:06.200 --> 00:53:09.640
I'm telling you though, what the Bible has said, I do not have a personal

685
00:53:09.680 --> 00:53:18.360
experience of my body having to have, um, uh, you know, uh, having a diagnosis of

686
00:53:18.360 --> 00:53:23.600
cancer and then, and then me having to tell my body, no, that isn't true.

687
00:53:23.600 --> 00:53:27.920
And having it overcome and I do not, I'm not telling you all this by experience.

688
00:53:28.400 --> 00:53:32.520
I am telling you now I have talked to my body about other things, but other like

689
00:53:32.520 --> 00:53:34.600
physical things and it's, and it's healed.

690
00:53:35.080 --> 00:53:39.400
Um, but then there are, and then actually the Lord told me several years ago that,

691
00:53:39.400 --> 00:53:42.440
um, I was, I was on the verge of cancer.

692
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:45.160
And, um, that the doctors hadn't found it yet.

693
00:53:45.160 --> 00:53:49.160
And he needed me to go on this like healing journey in order to revert it.

694
00:53:49.560 --> 00:53:53.680
And so I'm telling you what I couldn't work fast enough, you know, terrified me.

695
00:53:54.080 --> 00:53:59.840
And, and so I believe that the Lord did revert it, but understand I didn't get a

696
00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:07.040
black and white diagnosis where I could be threatened with just with, um, something

697
00:54:07.560 --> 00:54:11.000
I don't know that, you know, I had to go to doctor's visits about and whatever.

698
00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:17.600
So I say all this to say that to be very real with you, what I'm expressing is what

699
00:54:17.600 --> 00:54:19.880
it is that I know and believe to be true.

700
00:54:20.160 --> 00:54:22.000
And here's where it is in scripture.

701
00:54:22.120 --> 00:54:27.720
This is what I, what it looks to me like it's saying and what I live by, but

702
00:54:27.720 --> 00:54:34.600
understand I am on a particular aspect of my journey where I have overcome to an

703
00:54:34.640 --> 00:54:41.840
extent that can, but compared to like other diagnoses, it's, it's like the, it

704
00:54:41.840 --> 00:54:43.800
feels like a very tiny extent.

705
00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:49.120
I have not overcome to that extent experientially that Jesus did.

706
00:54:50.160 --> 00:54:54.160
And so my point is that it's possible and that God calls

707
00:54:54.160 --> 00:54:55.440
each of us to our own journey.

708
00:54:55.440 --> 00:55:00.080
There are other aspects of my life that I have had to overcome, you know, physical.

709
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.280
diagnoses has not been one of them. There have been other things, but Jesus overcame his body.

710
00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:12.720
Remember that, I mean, you know, the corruption of his body so that it transformed into spirit.

711
00:55:13.440 --> 00:55:18.400
Remember that the body that he came back with when he was resurrected, that's a spiritual body.

712
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:22.800
That's why it wasn't subject to the laws of nature and it can move through walls and it

713
00:55:22.800 --> 00:55:29.280
could translate and whatever, but it was still a body and it functioned like a real body because

714
00:55:29.280 --> 00:55:34.960
he could eat and that's what he did. In fact, he used that as proof to the disciples. I'm real. I'm

715
00:55:34.960 --> 00:55:41.600
not a spirit. That's not a body. I will eat in front of you to prove it. Give me something to

716
00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:46.000
eat. And so he ate it in order to prove it to him. He also showed them the wounds in his hands and

717
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:54.320
the wound in his side to prove to them it's the same body that I died in. It's not even kind of

718
00:55:54.320 --> 00:55:58.880
like, oh, well, Hey, this is the, this is another human body that I have. And it kind of looks like

719
00:55:58.880 --> 00:56:04.080
the other one, but if this one's fully spirit and it's not the same thing, no, it's the same thing,

720
00:56:04.080 --> 00:56:08.400
but it was no longer subject to death. It was no longer subject to corruption.

721
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:17.440
So God proves that that is that that's possible because he actually lived it. He already did what

722
00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:22.080
he's inviting us to do. It doesn't mean that the journey is easy and that anyone, including myself

723
00:56:22.080 --> 00:56:26.960
understands how to do it. All I'm telling you is that this is what God said. And this is what he

724
00:56:26.960 --> 00:56:33.440
did. He said, follow me. And that's what he did. So we're supposed to follow him in that.

725
00:56:33.440 --> 00:56:39.360
So it's a journey of how to do that. So I'm just telling you the extent to which God says that all

726
00:56:39.360 --> 00:56:46.320
of this is true. It's extreme and there's no conditions on it. There's no. And he says,

727
00:56:46.320 --> 00:56:52.240
I want you to believe me this much, but again, the whole, so that's what it is that we're doing

728
00:56:52.240 --> 00:57:00.320
here on earth is we're overcoming the fact that, um, that our flesh thinks it's subject to

729
00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:08.000
corruption, but remember that that is not why we were created. We were not created to overcome

730
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:14.000
the flesh. Why? Because we were created as you know, in Adam, we were created perfect, you know,

731
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:19.680
before the fall, we were created perfect. He hadn't sent, there was no flesh to overcome.

732
00:57:19.680 --> 00:57:26.000
So apparently that wasn't the point we were created. Then though, after the fall, now there's

733
00:57:26.000 --> 00:57:31.200
this thing that we now have to deal with, but that's not why you were created. So there's not

734
00:57:31.200 --> 00:57:38.560
some like purpose that you, that God is holding against you and accountable for to, to do in order

735
00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:44.240
to fulfill your purpose of your existence, your pur- so you can relieve yourself of all that

736
00:57:44.240 --> 00:57:48.320
pressure. Your focus is supposed to be on the development of the relationship, but in the

737
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:54.960
development of the relationship, God says it has so much power that all of this will, will, um,

738
00:57:54.960 --> 00:57:59.680
will, that you'll free, um, you can free your soul and your body and the rest of creation from

739
00:57:59.680 --> 00:58:06.960
frustration as a domino effect of the fact that you are a son of God in relationship with me.

740
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:12.880
So develop that relationship, that son of God connection, that union. That's why in the

741
00:58:12.880 --> 00:58:17.760
rest intensive, the very first thing I talk about is union and love, because if we do not get those

742
00:58:17.760 --> 00:58:24.320
two things, we can't shift into rest because that is the place of rest. The fact that if we're loved

743
00:58:24.320 --> 00:58:29.600
by God, it means that we, and if we choose that we are, then we'll feel safe enough to fall into

744
00:58:29.600 --> 00:58:36.160
him. And it's in him that is the place of union. And that place of union is rest. So that's where

745
00:58:36.160 --> 00:58:41.520
everything always goes back to. Um, and that's the place from which everything else gets its

746
00:58:41.520 --> 00:58:49.760
domino effect is from choosing that we are 100% unconditionally unified with God because of his

747
00:58:49.760 --> 00:58:54.800
love anyway. So that's why we focus on it. And then, but that's just where we start. Then I

748
00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:59.840
show people, okay, like, and you walk everyone through, okay, because that's there where,

749
00:58:59.840 --> 00:59:06.560
you know, where do we go from there, but the other stuff won't help and we can't get it.

750
00:59:06.560 --> 00:59:11.360
And we, that none of it will help us shift into rest. If we can't get the other two things,

751
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:15.920
because the other two things are the place of rest. The union of thought is the place of rest

752
00:59:15.920 --> 00:59:21.840
and an amount of place that we it's because we're unified with him that we experience, um, that,

753
00:59:21.840 --> 00:59:27.760
that kind of like that bond with him, that thing that bonds us to him is his love, you know? So

754
00:59:27.760 --> 00:59:32.240
anyway, it's the root of all of that. In fact, um, the next, uh, teaching session that we do

755
00:59:32.240 --> 00:59:36.400
is going to be about the two trees. It's going to be about the tree of life, the knowledge of good

756
00:59:36.400 --> 00:59:42.400
and evil, but, um, but anyway, um, so I know I talked a lot, but a lot of times what I do is

757
00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:48.560
I'll just get started. And then I just go and I talk a lot in order to paint a big overall picture

758
00:59:49.520 --> 00:59:56.000
to create a context for sometimes some of the other things that I say, because it's such a

759
00:59:56.000 --> 00:59:59.760
drastically different way of approaching life.

760
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
we can't reconcile it to the old perspective.

761
01:00:05.380 --> 01:00:07.220
We can't take pieces of the old perspective

762
01:00:07.220 --> 01:00:11.700
and pieces of the new and somehow get into to work together.

763
01:00:11.700 --> 01:00:13.260
It's in a manner of speaking,

764
01:00:13.260 --> 01:00:16.540
completely rejecting the old perspective

765
01:00:16.540 --> 01:00:19.540
and without being able to get it to reconcile

766
01:00:19.540 --> 01:00:21.220
because we can't get it to reconcile

767
01:00:21.220 --> 01:00:24.220
and choosing what did God actually say.

768
01:00:24.220 --> 01:00:25.860
And so sometimes they have to paint

769
01:00:25.860 --> 01:00:28.380
like a very big overall picture of like, okay,

770
01:00:28.380 --> 01:00:30.420
here's kind of like the foundation

771
01:00:30.420 --> 01:00:32.600
of everything that's going on.

772
01:00:32.600 --> 01:00:35.960
But anyway, what are your thoughts?

773
01:00:37.840 --> 01:00:40.820
No, I think it, I have a couple of questions.

774
01:00:40.820 --> 01:00:42.300
I know it's three o'clock though.

775
01:00:42.300 --> 01:00:44.620
So I don't know if I should ask them tonight.

776
01:00:44.620 --> 01:00:48.380
Yeah, I'm fine for another 15, 20 minutes if you are.

777
01:00:48.380 --> 01:00:53.020
Okay, so much of that is what I feel like

778
01:00:53.020 --> 01:00:55.120
God has been showing me the last eight years.

779
01:00:55.120 --> 01:00:57.760
And so it's just like, this is just confirmation

780
01:00:58.280 --> 01:00:59.560
and like deeper knowledge.

781
01:00:59.560 --> 01:01:00.400
Yeah.

782
01:01:01.560 --> 01:01:05.200
And so the one question I do have is like,

783
01:01:06.920 --> 01:01:08.120
my spirit is healed.

784
01:01:10.280 --> 01:01:14.840
And the question is, does,

785
01:01:14.840 --> 01:01:18.320
and I think I haven't got a confirmation in my soul

786
01:01:20.640 --> 01:01:25.240
to believe this, that does God want me, my flesh healed?

787
01:01:25.240 --> 01:01:27.400
Like, I wonder if he does want me healed

788
01:01:28.040 --> 01:01:31.560
or his will for some greater purpose is that I'm sick

789
01:01:31.560 --> 01:01:33.520
and that brings others to Christ.

790
01:01:33.520 --> 01:01:34.880
You know, like a lot of people,

791
01:01:34.880 --> 01:01:38.200
because a lot of people's experience,

792
01:01:38.200 --> 01:01:40.080
don't experience healing, they believe,

793
01:01:40.080 --> 01:01:41.680
oh, it wasn't his will.

794
01:01:41.680 --> 01:01:43.840
Yeah, yeah, correct.

795
01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:46.080
The problem with that is that, you know,

796
01:01:46.080 --> 01:01:48.360
that kind of thinking is that everybody else

797
01:01:48.360 --> 01:01:50.340
is more important to God than me.

798
01:01:52.280 --> 01:01:54.240
You know, it's just not true.

799
01:01:54.240 --> 01:01:55.080
Yeah.

800
01:01:55.080 --> 01:01:58.560
But here's the other thing, the thing about that.

801
01:01:58.560 --> 01:02:00.320
And I know that this is really, really hard.

802
01:02:00.320 --> 01:02:01.920
I actually had a transformation session

803
01:02:01.920 --> 01:02:04.280
with somebody else last night that was,

804
01:02:04.280 --> 01:02:07.960
went really, really deep into things.

805
01:02:07.960 --> 01:02:10.400
And so I'll tell you the same thing,

806
01:02:10.400 --> 01:02:13.200
but in your own, in the way that you need to hear it,

807
01:02:13.200 --> 01:02:16.600
that I told them, the things, so this is a,

808
01:02:17.560 --> 01:02:19.720
like I say, the things that I say

809
01:02:19.720 --> 01:02:22.040
may not always feel like feel good,

810
01:02:22.040 --> 01:02:23.760
but they're the things that get the result.

811
01:02:23.760 --> 01:02:26.120
This is really, truly what God is asking of us.

812
01:02:26.120 --> 01:02:31.200
And here's the thing, that we,

813
01:02:31.200 --> 01:02:32.760
ultimately what God wants is,

814
01:02:32.760 --> 01:02:36.120
he wants us to choose him above everything.

815
01:02:36.120 --> 01:02:37.520
And we understand that in theory,

816
01:02:37.520 --> 01:02:41.120
but that means that we have to choose him

817
01:02:41.120 --> 01:02:45.960
over our life looking any different than it currently does,

818
01:02:45.960 --> 01:02:50.480
or that our lifestyle is any particular way,

819
01:02:50.480 --> 01:02:55.480
meaning that we have to choose God over our healing.

820
01:02:57.080 --> 01:03:00.200
And the reason, and it doesn't mean that we won't be healed.

821
01:03:00.200 --> 01:03:02.080
That's not the thing.

822
01:03:02.080 --> 01:03:05.480
The problem is what we, if we,

823
01:03:05.480 --> 01:03:08.720
if we don't choose God over our healing,

824
01:03:08.720 --> 01:03:11.880
it means that we are prioritizing our healing

825
01:03:11.880 --> 01:03:14.800
over him in our life.

826
01:03:14.800 --> 01:03:17.720
So what we, all we have to do

827
01:03:17.720 --> 01:03:20.360
is we have to shift the priority.

828
01:03:21.240 --> 01:03:23.000
Not that the other is not important to us.

829
01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:25.400
And the only way that we can do that

830
01:03:25.400 --> 01:03:28.440
is to let this go and give it to the Lord

831
01:03:28.440 --> 01:03:33.440
in such a way where we release God of the obligation

832
01:03:36.480 --> 01:03:41.480
and of being accountable to us for healing us.

833
01:03:42.480 --> 01:03:45.360
Doesn't mean that we don't still want him to heal us.

834
01:03:45.360 --> 01:03:47.120
No, we don't ask him and that he won't.

835
01:03:47.120 --> 01:03:48.920
It doesn't mean any of those things.

836
01:03:48.960 --> 01:03:52.160
It means that we stop taking this thing

837
01:03:52.160 --> 01:03:56.280
and holding it before him in accusation

838
01:03:56.280 --> 01:03:58.280
of why is he doing this?

839
01:03:58.280 --> 01:04:01.080
Why is it taking so long?

840
01:04:01.080 --> 01:04:02.680
You know, why isn't it done yet?

841
01:04:03.560 --> 01:04:07.080
And we, and it's the accusation that's in there

842
01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:11.280
that is creating resistance.

843
01:04:11.280 --> 01:04:14.720
And there's another word I'm looking for,

844
01:04:14.720 --> 01:04:18.360
but anyway, that's creating resistance between us and God.

845
01:04:18.920 --> 01:04:21.880
And it's his spirit that needs to heal.

846
01:04:21.880 --> 01:04:26.040
So we have to stop resisting that spirit from flowing.

847
01:04:26.040 --> 01:04:28.800
So we have to stop the accusation.

848
01:04:28.800 --> 01:04:31.880
Remember that's what Satan's called, the accuser.

849
01:04:33.080 --> 01:04:35.320
And so that's what we're called to not do.

850
01:04:35.320 --> 01:04:39.200
And so we have to be very drastic in everything.

851
01:04:39.200 --> 01:04:40.720
And I'm telling you that, no,

852
01:04:40.720 --> 01:04:42.520
I didn't have a healing thing that I was,

853
01:04:42.520 --> 01:04:44.800
that I was presenting to the Lord,

854
01:04:44.840 --> 01:04:49.480
but I literally had everything gone and my,

855
01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:50.720
and so this is my own experience.

856
01:04:50.720 --> 01:04:51.600
I'm not comparing them.

857
01:04:51.600 --> 01:04:56.400
I'm telling you, I hit what felt like to me, rock bottom.

858
01:04:56.400 --> 01:05:00.040
And that was that I had all of my businesses.

859
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.440
were on the rocks and on the rocks, all of my businesses were not successful.

860
01:05:03.840 --> 01:05:08.560
And I had been trying for, I don't know, 10 months by then, something like that.

861
01:05:08.920 --> 01:05:12.880
Um, all of my relationships that were most important to me, um, including

862
01:05:12.880 --> 01:05:14.400
with my parents were on the rocks.

863
01:05:14.960 --> 01:05:18.920
And then, um, my, uh, and then I had, uh, had no money.

864
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:23.840
I was literally having to trust God for food and no one knew.

865
01:05:24.320 --> 01:05:31.240
So it's like, I had nothing and I felt like, I didn't know how I could, I

866
01:05:31.240 --> 01:05:35.480
mean, how I could, I don't know, there, there was no future.

867
01:05:35.520 --> 01:05:36.560
That's what I'm trying to say.

868
01:05:37.320 --> 01:05:40.520
There wasn't anything of the current to hold on to.

869
01:05:40.560 --> 01:05:42.440
And there definitely wasn't any future.

870
01:05:43.120 --> 01:05:48.480
So I told the Lord, I said, Lord, I choose you over my lifestyle.

871
01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:50.600
My life, my life can look like this.

872
01:05:50.600 --> 01:05:53.520
If you want for the rest of my life, I have no idea how it gets

873
01:05:53.520 --> 01:05:56.680
right like this for the rest of my life, but you know, especially without

874
01:05:56.680 --> 01:06:03.280
food or, you know, whatever that I choose you over, over a lifestyle.

875
01:06:04.600 --> 01:06:10.000
I just ask that you be who you are into my life, no matter what

876
01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:11.480
that makes my life look like.

877
01:06:12.200 --> 01:06:15.320
And when, and I, and I told the Lord, I said, Lord, I know, I know that that

878
01:06:15.320 --> 01:06:19.680
means that, that, that, what that looked like in Jesus's life, that you were

879
01:06:19.680 --> 01:06:23.040
your goodness and you were your love to the nth degree in his life.

880
01:06:23.920 --> 01:06:25.280
And I saw what happened to him.

881
01:06:25.840 --> 01:06:29.280
Not only, you know, this, the, the, the struggle that he had in his ministry,

882
01:06:29.280 --> 01:06:33.240
I'm not always being accepted and being rejected and da da da da, but also

883
01:06:33.240 --> 01:06:36.880
including by like family and friends and people who knew him, but also the end of

884
01:06:36.880 --> 01:06:38.840
his life, I saw Lord, how that turned out.

885
01:06:39.600 --> 01:06:46.040
And, but, um, so anyway, I was like, but God, I ask that you be who you are.

886
01:06:46.040 --> 01:06:47.480
And I don't know who that is.

887
01:06:47.520 --> 01:06:53.000
I asked you that you be who it is that you are, and then that you manifest

888
01:06:53.000 --> 01:06:57.920
that physically into my life, meaning that my life can look like however you

889
01:06:57.920 --> 01:07:03.280
want, as long as it's a manifestation of your goodness and your love.

890
01:07:03.320 --> 01:07:05.960
And I saw what that looked like into Jesus's life.

891
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:07.400
That's all that.

892
01:07:07.400 --> 01:07:08.400
That's what I asked God.

893
01:07:08.400 --> 01:07:12.520
So in other words, I just, in my own way, I'm not comparing our

894
01:07:12.520 --> 01:07:14.800
circumstances, situations, and experiences.

895
01:07:15.160 --> 01:07:19.760
I'm saying at that spiritual level where I had to get down to a root of how much

896
01:07:19.760 --> 01:07:22.720
of myself am I willing to let go of?

897
01:07:23.080 --> 01:07:27.920
I let go of as much as I had to hold on to, you know, at that time, as much as I

898
01:07:27.920 --> 01:07:31.760
had, and I just let go of all of it.

899
01:07:31.880 --> 01:07:34.880
And I just said, God, I choose you over me.

900
01:07:36.080 --> 01:07:39.000
And I'm telling you what, literally not figuratively, literally that was the,

901
01:07:39.120 --> 01:07:43.600
that's the focal point on which everything else pivots is that question.

902
01:07:43.920 --> 01:07:47.160
Is that ultimate faith in the Lord?

903
01:07:47.160 --> 01:07:48.680
God, I choose you.

904
01:07:48.680 --> 01:07:50.800
And I don't even know who that is.

905
01:07:51.800 --> 01:07:57.480
And that's, that is the ultimate ask of God in our faith that we choose who he

906
01:07:57.480 --> 01:08:03.120
is before we know who that is, because so often we'll choose, okay, well, I can

907
01:08:03.120 --> 01:08:06.080
choose God's good because that's a, that's a nice thing.

908
01:08:06.440 --> 01:08:09.160
I can choose that God's righteous because you know, that's a nice thing.

909
01:08:09.360 --> 01:08:12.800
We like those anchors, but what about choosing that?

910
01:08:12.800 --> 01:08:14.480
Well, we will receive God.

911
01:08:14.480 --> 01:08:17.880
Like say for instance, he's coming towards us, you know, actually choosing

912
01:08:17.880 --> 01:08:23.279
God, I choose with myself, giving up everything, no longer requiring anything

913
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:27.439
of you, I choose to fully receive whatever it is that's coming at me and

914
01:08:27.439 --> 01:08:29.240
coming into me and how it affects me.

915
01:08:30.080 --> 01:08:33.600
And I don't even know what that is yet, but I'll receive it.

916
01:08:34.359 --> 01:08:37.600
I mean, I can receive, you know, you've told me some things, Lord, your goodness,

917
01:08:37.600 --> 01:08:39.120
et cetera, but I'll receive it.

918
01:08:39.160 --> 01:08:43.120
Even if that comes in as comfort or if that comes in as pain or if that comes

919
01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:48.279
in, cause I don't know how it's going to do it's that ultimate giving in.

920
01:08:48.760 --> 01:08:49.800
All of that sounds good.

921
01:08:49.800 --> 01:08:54.200
As we're sitting here talking, it is dadgum hard because we're literally

922
01:08:54.200 --> 01:08:58.720
giving up every we're literally giving up everything that we have fought so

923
01:08:58.720 --> 01:09:01.439
hard to hold on to in survival mode.

924
01:09:02.520 --> 01:09:05.960
Everything we're talking to spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically,

925
01:09:05.960 --> 01:09:09.319
whatever the ultimate in its degree, everything about our life, what feels

926
01:09:09.319 --> 01:09:13.439
like our existence, and we literally give it all up in order to choose him.

927
01:09:14.479 --> 01:09:18.920
We're not choosing to trust God with our circumstances or trust God in this.

928
01:09:18.920 --> 01:09:25.080
We are literally giving it all up, like exposing it to whatever could happen.

929
01:09:25.560 --> 01:09:27.520
And we, and we don't even know what it is.

930
01:09:27.520 --> 01:09:28.200
We're choosing it.

931
01:09:28.240 --> 01:09:29.840
We know we're choosing God, but who is he?

932
01:09:30.439 --> 01:09:30.760
Yeah.

933
01:09:30.840 --> 01:09:31.080
Yeah.

934
01:09:31.080 --> 01:09:31.960
We have vague ideas.

935
01:09:31.960 --> 01:09:32.479
Oh yeah.

936
01:09:32.479 --> 01:09:33.319
He says he's good.

937
01:09:33.319 --> 01:09:35.760
He says, yeah, but what does that really mean?

938
01:09:36.040 --> 01:09:37.680
And what does that really look like?

939
01:09:37.720 --> 01:09:40.720
And then what will that make my life look like?

940
01:09:40.720 --> 01:09:42.200
What will I then have to deal with?

941
01:09:42.200 --> 01:09:44.200
What consequences is that going to bring?

942
01:09:44.800 --> 01:09:47.479
We choose that over this.

943
01:09:47.920 --> 01:09:51.080
And literally that is the thing on which everything else will shift.

944
01:09:51.600 --> 01:09:56.680
So, and someone was asking me the other day, so actually what about like decisions?

945
01:09:56.680 --> 01:09:59.920
Like now I have to go and I have to make decisions about things and, you know.

946
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.640
So you're telling me all of this and I need to love the Lord, you know,

947
01:10:02.680 --> 01:10:05.400
believe that he loves me and be unified, you know, and all of that.

948
01:10:05.400 --> 01:10:06.120
So I get that.

949
01:10:06.120 --> 01:10:10.720
But while, you know, I think there were there, they didn't word it like this,

950
01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:14.400
but I think they were kind of thinking, okay, well, I'm working on that right now.

951
01:10:14.760 --> 01:10:17.680
Well, how do I deal with this stuff that's coming at me?

952
01:10:18.160 --> 01:10:20.200
And right now it's all of these decisions.

953
01:10:20.400 --> 01:10:21.240
What do I do with that?

954
01:10:21.920 --> 01:10:26.760
And I just told them, I said, you have to choose that you were more important

955
01:10:26.760 --> 01:10:29.120
to God than what you decide to do.

956
01:10:29.960 --> 01:10:32.560
You are more important than your decisions, either.

957
01:10:32.560 --> 01:10:35.160
You're more important to him than getting it right.

958
01:10:36.800 --> 01:10:39.280
You're more important to him than whether or not you believe them.

959
01:10:40.280 --> 01:10:43.680
You're more important to him right now than whether or not you have faith and

960
01:10:43.680 --> 01:10:49.640
you're more important to him than whether or not you choose him because he chose

961
01:10:49.640 --> 01:10:56.440
you and loved you and provided for you to be able to, you know, be unified with

962
01:10:57.080 --> 01:11:02.200
when not only were you not choosing him, you were rejecting him to such a point

963
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:04.600
that your rejection killed him.

964
01:11:06.280 --> 01:11:07.960
He chose you to that degree.

965
01:11:08.280 --> 01:11:14.280
So you are more important than anything that you choose, than anything that you

966
01:11:14.280 --> 01:11:19.440
decide, than anything that you do, than any action that you end up, you know,

967
01:11:20.240 --> 01:11:25.160
you know, acting on anything, you know, that you say, and whether or not you are

968
01:11:25.160 --> 01:11:28.480
more important, you yourself are more important to him than whether or not you

969
01:11:28.480 --> 01:11:32.760
believe him and whether or not you have faith and you're more important to him

970
01:11:32.760 --> 01:11:33.920
than whether or not you choose him.

971
01:11:35.840 --> 01:11:38.120
And you have to release yourself into that.

972
01:11:39.520 --> 01:11:43.760
You you've got nothing to give him, not even getting to choose him.

973
01:11:46.520 --> 01:11:53.000
And in that place of nothing, you were chosen and you currently are and you're

974
01:11:53.000 --> 01:11:55.360
safe and you can't be moved from it.

975
01:11:56.280 --> 01:11:57.000
Adam could.

976
01:11:57.800 --> 01:11:58.440
And so he did.

977
01:11:58.440 --> 01:12:01.440
And so God's like, okay, God, well, that can't ever happen again.

978
01:12:02.320 --> 01:12:08.680
So when Jesus dies on the cross and they're reunified with me, black Adam was it's in

979
01:12:08.680 --> 01:12:12.760
such a way that even if they make the same decisions again, that Adam did, they

980
01:12:12.760 --> 01:12:14.520
still can't, they can't be separated from me.

981
01:12:14.520 --> 01:12:18.600
Adam could, but they can't now because I've made provision for that.

982
01:12:19.000 --> 01:12:20.520
So nothing can change.

983
01:12:21.120 --> 01:12:23.520
And so now you're just, now you're free.

984
01:12:24.680 --> 01:12:26.520
You're free to choose them or not choose them.

985
01:12:26.520 --> 01:12:28.320
You're free to have faith or not have faith.

986
01:12:28.600 --> 01:12:30.760
You can't, you can't change it.

987
01:12:31.720 --> 01:12:35.280
So, um, you know, you're, you're, you're unified with him.

988
01:12:35.520 --> 01:12:37.280
You know, he loves you unconditionally.

989
01:12:37.680 --> 01:12:43.160
And so all of the pressure of our actions, even of our interaction with and

990
01:12:43.160 --> 01:12:46.320
response to God, the pressure's off.

991
01:12:47.280 --> 01:12:52.880
And what we find is once the pressure's off our natural cells, which is going to

992
01:12:52.880 --> 01:12:57.760
come up in like session four or five or something like that, our natural cells

993
01:12:58.160 --> 01:13:02.480
starts coming to the surface because your default is the new man.

994
01:13:03.080 --> 01:13:06.240
Your default is perfection.

995
01:13:06.320 --> 01:13:11.400
Your default is that you, as the new man, you always love your father because

996
01:13:11.400 --> 01:13:12.360
you're one with him.

997
01:13:12.600 --> 01:13:15.800
That new man is in your spirit and your spirit's one with Christ.

998
01:13:16.120 --> 01:13:17.600
You can't have anything corrupt within him.

999
01:13:17.600 --> 01:13:20.640
So therefore your spirit's not corrupt and you're perfect.

1000
01:13:20.680 --> 01:13:24.960
It says in James that he, who was for he, who was born of God, it

1001
01:13:24.960 --> 01:13:26.440
is impossible for him to sin.

1002
01:13:27.920 --> 01:13:29.600
So your spirit can't sin.

1003
01:13:29.600 --> 01:13:29.840
Sure.

1004
01:13:29.840 --> 01:13:32.000
Your flesh can, your soul can be an unbelief.

1005
01:13:32.000 --> 01:13:34.240
Your body can be an unbelief, but not your spirit.

1006
01:13:34.880 --> 01:13:36.960
And your spirit is the one that's unified with God.

1007
01:13:36.960 --> 01:13:38.720
That can't ever be separated from God.

1008
01:13:38.760 --> 01:13:39.880
That's never sinned.

1009
01:13:39.880 --> 01:13:40.960
It's never known sin.

1010
01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:42.760
It has no, no grid for it.

1011
01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:46.040
So that's the place that you can rest in.

1012
01:13:46.440 --> 01:13:50.640
And that's the place that, that you get to operate naturally out of.

1013
01:13:50.640 --> 01:13:55.680
It's your natural self that you will find yourself being when you stop doing the

1014
01:13:55.680 --> 01:13:59.720
things that aren't natural to you, which is resistance against God, which is not

1015
01:13:59.720 --> 01:14:00.920
believing him, which is whatever.

1016
01:14:00.920 --> 01:14:04.280
As soon as you let those things that aren't natural for you, that you picked

1017
01:14:04.280 --> 01:14:09.680
up, you had to pick them up in order to do them, by the way, that's not natural to

1018
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:09.920
you.

1019
01:14:10.240 --> 01:14:12.400
Sin is not natural for a son of God.

1020
01:14:12.680 --> 01:14:16.160
He has to pick up something that's very unlike him.

1021
01:14:16.600 --> 01:14:22.120
And he had to actually do it in order for it to happen because it's not his natural

1022
01:14:22.120 --> 01:14:22.640
state.

1023
01:14:23.040 --> 01:14:28.760
It's very hard for someone or for a being or for an animal or for a whatever to do

1024
01:14:28.760 --> 01:14:29.160
anything.

1025
01:14:29.160 --> 01:14:30.000
That's not natural.

1026
01:14:31.160 --> 01:14:31.680
So.

1027
01:14:32.120 --> 01:14:33.720
Sin isn't natural for you.

1028
01:14:33.960 --> 01:14:36.200
It's not a natural part of you that you have to fight.

1029
01:14:36.320 --> 01:14:37.040
That's bogus.

1030
01:14:37.440 --> 01:14:38.360
It's not natural for you.

1031
01:14:38.880 --> 01:14:42.520
So you're under no obligation to keep it, to keep it going.

1032
01:14:43.000 --> 01:14:43.880
Just let the thing go.

1033
01:14:44.200 --> 01:14:44.640
It's not natural.

1034
01:14:44.640 --> 01:14:47.920
So anyway, my point is the more that you let all these things go, the more the

1035
01:14:47.920 --> 01:14:51.480
naturalness of who it is that you are just starts coming out.

1036
01:14:51.480 --> 01:14:52.880
You start acting like a son of God.

1037
01:14:52.920 --> 01:14:58.240
You start believing him because you're, you simply stopped not believing him.

1038
01:14:59.320 --> 01:14:59.720
You didn't.

1039
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.000
learn to believe him. You stopped not believing him because that's what was unnatural.

1040
01:15:06.800 --> 01:15:12.800
So anyway, um, but so that's why I was saying, God's not, no, God's not worried.

1041
01:15:12.800 --> 01:15:18.320
If you don't feel that obligation to love him or, or sorry, you stop feeling obligated to love him

1042
01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:23.200
and you stop trying to love him and you stop trying to have faith and you stop trying, you

1043
01:15:23.200 --> 01:15:27.760
stop putting exertion into it. He's not worried that you won't do it because your default state

1044
01:15:27.760 --> 01:15:37.280
is to do it. It's the trying that's not natural, naturalness. And you'll naturally be it. You

1045
01:15:37.280 --> 01:15:42.880
naturally love the Lord. You naturally have faith. You naturally can hear him. It's the belief that

1046
01:15:42.880 --> 01:15:49.440
you aren't those things that makes life so hard, right? Your soul believes that that's who it is

1047
01:15:49.440 --> 01:15:54.000
that you are, or your body believes that's who it is that you are. And you have to choose

1048
01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:59.280
willfully intentionally. Nope. That's not true. You ha it's almost like a part of you that you

1049
01:15:59.280 --> 01:16:03.760
have to come out of disagreement, come out of agreement with, and you have to choose to come

1050
01:16:03.760 --> 01:16:08.800
into agreement with a different part of you as weird as that. You have to choose that. No,

1051
01:16:08.800 --> 01:16:15.920
you're actually spirit. You're not what your soul is deciding. Your soul is deciding whether or not

1052
01:16:15.920 --> 01:16:22.240
it's going to agree with your spirit, but who, but that is your, that place in which you're making a

1053
01:16:22.240 --> 01:16:28.480
decision is not who you are. I know that sounds very weird. You're not the aspect of you. That's

1054
01:16:28.480 --> 01:16:34.480
making the decision spirit. That's already made its decision that already lives a particular way.

1055
01:16:34.480 --> 01:16:40.000
We've we've come under deception that our aspect of ourselves is that gateway. That's trying to

1056
01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:46.000
determine whether our soul and our body is going to be in union with an agreement with our identity.

1057
01:16:47.040 --> 01:16:51.440
And we can't identify with the gateway. We have to identify with the thing that's already made the

1058
01:16:51.440 --> 01:16:59.600
decision. So that's okay. Okay. It does. Yes, it does. Okay. Oh, I have a lot to chew on. Holy

1059
01:16:59.600 --> 01:17:04.960
moly. Well, you'll have this recording. I always like people to know, Hey, look, you know, you

1060
01:17:04.960 --> 01:17:10.240
don't have to be memorizing everything I say. You just need to absorb it. You need to just allow

1061
01:17:10.240 --> 01:17:15.360
your spirit and your soul and your body to listen, ask the Lord about it. You know, you don't have to

1062
01:17:15.360 --> 01:17:18.880
believe anything I say. I just tell you people what it is that I believe in what it is. I live

1063
01:17:18.880 --> 01:17:24.480
and they talk about it. So, because living vicariously through my beliefs and my faith

1064
01:17:24.480 --> 01:17:30.720
isn't going to help anybody. It has to be you and your Lord have to own it together. So so anyway,

1065
01:17:30.720 --> 01:17:37.120
that I just try to get to invite it. People try to think their way into it. They won't get it.

1066
01:17:37.120 --> 01:17:43.200
They have to just be it. They have to just stop thinking about it and just start being who it is

1067
01:17:43.200 --> 01:17:47.200
that they are. That is going to shift everything into rest. I was just talking to somebody else

1068
01:17:47.200 --> 01:17:52.160
about it who couldn't get it for the life of them. Oh, in fact, it was Alana. She posted in

1069
01:17:52.160 --> 01:17:56.480
there recently. She said, I trust she posted in the rest intensive to tell everybody, you know,

1070
01:17:56.480 --> 01:18:02.400
on her, on her video, you know, that, you know, I tried to think it and it didn't work. I finally

1071
01:18:02.400 --> 01:18:07.680
just had to stop trying to figure it out and stop trying to understand, stop trying to reckon,

1072
01:18:07.680 --> 01:18:12.960
trying to figure out how it all reconciled. I just had to receive, did God say that or not?

1073
01:18:13.520 --> 01:18:19.920
And if he did just let it be. And then all of a sudden it happened. And I, and I understood

1074
01:18:19.920 --> 01:18:24.240
because like that, the things of the spirit can only be understood by the spirit. I just had to

1075
01:18:24.240 --> 01:18:30.960
let it go. And then I got it. Yeah. So anyway, but you'll, but we'll have this recording in your,

1076
01:18:30.960 --> 01:18:39.120
in your page on rest intensive members under my website, because yeah, because after November,

1077
01:18:39.120 --> 01:18:43.920
you know, when y'all are no longer in the Facebook group, you still have lifetime access

1078
01:18:43.920 --> 01:18:47.360
to all that other stuff, including these transformation sessions. So all that's

1079
01:18:47.360 --> 01:18:50.800
recorded and it's going to be in your page. You know, when you're logged into my website,

1080
01:18:50.800 --> 01:18:57.120
you can go to that page and that's where you can always access this. Okay. Okay. Great. All right.

1081
01:18:57.120 --> 01:19:01.120
Well, thanks so much, Ashley. You're welcome. I hope you have a good day. It was good to

1082
01:19:02.320 --> 01:19:07.680
you too. I'll see you tonight. Okay. Bye.