WEBVTT

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Hey, how are you doing good. I was like, searching for the link I thought I had it like right

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in front of me and then I was like oh my god I had to find the email and I'm trying to

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get the AirPods connected. I'm also just looking at my hair now what is going on?

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Oh my goodness. It connects.

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I sometimes have trouble getting my AirPods to connection I can't figure out why.

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Okay now it is. I can hear you fine as long as you can hear me. Yeah yeah I can yeah. Perfect.

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So how are you? I'm good. I wanted to encourage you. I thought the offer that you made last night

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was incredible. Oh really? Oh good. Well thanks for the encouragement. We were, I know it's hard

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when you're on this side of giving the offer you're like it's hard to read but the girls in

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my group were talking about like oh I hope she's like offering an extension or something because

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I don't want it to end and so they were and so I think people were at the ready so it was really

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well done. Oh good good I'm glad. Yeah I realized that I realized well you know they need to they're

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wanting to continue so I thought well let's see if I can offer something and so anyway I just came

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up with that and I thought that that and tried to adjust it based off of the the holidays what

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people were likely to be able to do what I was willing to do right not willing to do you know

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for myself for the holidays and so anyway so I'm glad I'm glad to hear that you think that

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that it was a good offer. I thought I don't know I'm still trying to work out

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figuring out how to price things and not but I thought I thought well what am I willing to do

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for that price or what am I willing to to do and then how how much you know am I willing to charge

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for that so anyway. Yeah it was a great price and I thought I thought the the way that you

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pack and positioned it was it didn't feel like less like obviously it's a little bit less contact

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and accessibility but with the holidays it made a lot of sense yeah and it felt like that even the

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things even like the um the spirit blessing and stuff like felt like a very substantial like

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thing to add on to it yeah yeah good good I'm glad I I appreciate it thanks for the encouragement

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and um yeah I was so grateful I was telling Ed you know I said I'm gonna laugh about this with

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Lindsay the fact that when I first that um you know I'd never priced anything as high as this

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past one you know it's 9.95 and and how and I said we're gonna laugh she's gonna laugh about

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the fact that you know she's been pushing me to like you know to to charge a bit closer to

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what it's worth etc and kind of like get over my my um my mental and emotional and spiritual I don't

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know obstacles to it and I said so I finally did it when I originally I was only going to charge

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500 and then I now I charged 995 I said and at the end of it everyone is so pleased with what

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it is that they got for it that they're like can we please continue this is a really good

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encouragement for me so so very grateful that people were were pleased that they like it because

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I know that it's that it's worth um it's it's worth that because I mean my life has been changed

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and then I tried to provide that for other people but I don't know sometimes you just kind of

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want to make sure that other that um that what it is that you're trying to execute in other words

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offer and then help people actually shift into really is something that's um uh how would you

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how to put it um being valued and um that it really is working in other words that people

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really are receiving what I'm trying to help them transition into as opposed to I'm just doing a

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whole lot of talking and then they're all just like I don't know is if I didn't like field people

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appropriately and people were joining that just weren't ready and couldn't see the value and

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couldn't own it for themselves and so anyway I've just been telling him I said I'm just I'm just

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very encouraged and like I said I wasn't planning on offering anything at all and um but then people

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kept saying things and so I'm like well that's a good encouragement but I thought yeah but just

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because I offer them something to take advantage of doesn't mean that it's actually the thing that

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they want to take advantage of.

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something else in mind. So reading the room, and it felt

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like a very acceptable, like people were seemed excited, like

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their facial expressions. And yeah, yeah, it did seem like it.

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So I was grateful. And I've already had at least five people

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reach out to me and tell me that they want to and one of them

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already has and the others say that they're going to others say

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that they're going to do it. And then two or three others say

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that they're that they're thinking about it just based off

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of like, I don't know, timing, maybe price, I don't know. But

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what it did, it did. What I did decide, though, is for the lady

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that I just can't adjust the times for the lady. That's

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because, because I'm dealing with California to her, right?

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It's like 10 hours.

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There's six o'clock. So they're like, right. That's work. Yeah.

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Correct. They're like nine hours difference, I believe. And so

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because she is six hours difference from us. And that

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would make them nine hours difference from California. So

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the only option would be on is to do something on a weekend.

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Because you because Ed, you said that you can do something in the

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afternoon. And I don't want to take away people's weekends. I

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not even on a Sunday, because on a Sunday that I if I did it,

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like for four to five, our time makes it 10 to 11 her time, and

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then she's got to go to work the next morning. And then for for

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the people in California, what would that be? Was that to

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figure out that was like, one o'clock or two o'clock? Oh, I

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think that's one o'clock on a Sunday. I mean, some people

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aren't even out of church by then, right? Oh, you know, if

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the if the time like sometimes ours goes still very rare, but

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every now and then ours will go to one, just because we have

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prophetic ministry and stuff. So that can go over a while. And so

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regardless, I mean, people need to eat and especially people

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that have children, and I'm just like, No, no, if it's already

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going to be 10 to 11, her time, and then versus, you know,

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people in California, it's going to be right out of church, if

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that and I was like, No, no, I can't do that. So what I'm going

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to do is I'm just going to keep it at the same time. And then

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just tell her, you know, I'm really sorry that she couldn't

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join him. But at least she'll be able to be in the community,

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she'll be able to interact. And she'll be able to watch the

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replay, she'll be able to and then I told her that I would

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give her an extra couple of transformation sessions. So

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while everybody else would get one, she'd get three. Yeah, it

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was like that. I'm willing to do that. Yeah. But I didn't want to

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do too much of like a different, a different program for one

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offs too much, because then it's just, I don't know, I

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don't know why, but it just feels like too much for me. I

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don't know if it's because I'm like trying to, I think might be

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like the sheer number of balls in the air that it feels like.

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And not that it's like a whole lot of work. It's just like,

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it's just two more extra transformation sessions. But I

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think it's just, it just feels like I'm trying to do a lot of

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admin things. Yeah. So

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anything extra any, any, Bruce and I have talked about this

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often too, because we've deal with international. Yeah, we

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haven't done anything separate. But it's because any, any

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deviation is a lot of extra admin. It is. Yeah, it is.

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Yeah. So anyway, not to start talking about all of that.

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And Bruce was like, I because I wanted to just make sure with

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him like the time commitment. I'm, you know, learning. Yeah.

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And so he was like, I think it'd be great. So I'm definitely in.

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Oh, I'm shocked. I was expecting it to be a doe because it was

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like, I know that, you know, he's, he's been without her

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three nights a week for six weeks. And so I was like, I bet

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you that it's just a no go this time.

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It's a very interesting season that we're in. And I think, you

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know, because I'm also coming out of what has been a pretty

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sleepy season, like, you know, just out of out of postpartum

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kind of first year of Hannah's life. Like I, I took a I did, I

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just said no to a lot of things. And so I'm starting to say yes

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to things again. So I think that's just some of the, but

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we're, we, you know, we're, we're sitting on some prophetic

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words about, you know, pursuing healing and wholeness. And so

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we're saying yes to the right things. Like this isn't like a

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supper club. You know what I mean? Like,

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well, I say that, I mean, maybe you like Bible studies.

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Historically, I just have not gained anything from Bible

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studies. No, I avoid them like the plague.

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I know. I know. They need a reformation. They need a

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reformation.

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And I talk about the fact or me with some other, I don't

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remember who, whatever it is, it'll be with some man that I'll

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be saying something about, you know, like, they don't like,

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can you imagine on my word having to sit there with all

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those women or whatever? I said, I agree. I don't like to do it

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either. I said, my friend in my

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a friend of mine in Texas, she and I did it the same way. We're like, we have avoided women's

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Bible studies for years for just like, I don't know that whole, oh, that's what it was. Ed was

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talking about how there was a group here that meets and at first it was just all of the elders

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of the church. And so we've now, we're now invited, even though we're not elders, we're leaders. And

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so therefore we've been invited to it. So, but come to find out certain elders slash leaders

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VPs no longer go. And he was explaining to me that that happens. I mean, cause this is like,

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this is a prayer group. That's the meeting of the leadership of Morningstar for at least 10 years.

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And so now some leaders no longer go. And he explained to me that the reason was because

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the wives started coming. And so therefore it changed the dynamic of the group. It got a bit

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more chatty, got it. Well, not so chatty. Well, it was chatty, but it's chatty. It's in like

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prayer request, chatty, like, oh, we need to pray for my neighbor's grandson or we need to

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pray for it as opposed to, okay. We're leaders of Morningstar. We need to be praying for like,

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yeah. And, and, or, or each other. If it's so often, as you know, leaders that don't have

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other people to go to, you know, to like stand with each other and, you know, you're accountable

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to the Lord for some things that are going on in the church that you have to like address.

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And so that kind of thing. And so he said that a lot of people started,

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stopped going because maybe that's why I don't let go. Isn't that sad. So anyway,

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it's not sad. I've been there. I understand. I understand. Yeah. So anyway, but hopefully

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you've got some good Bible studies around you that are substantial and that you can go to. I just,

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I just have not. No, no. We are like, I'm, I'm like, I'm backwards right now. I'm just trying

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to get back to like a Sunday service. Just trying to, I'm just trying to get to a regular Sunday

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service that I can stomach. So yeah. Yeah. No, I'm, I'm, I'm actually with you on that. So which

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by the way, I don't go to all of them. Bill Johnson, you know, cause we do attend Bethel

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Reading online, but Bill Johnson mentioned Morningstar. So they had vision Sunday and they

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are doing their build and arise, arise and build campaign. And he was just sharing something about

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I'm going to probably like mess up the story, but generally speaking, he was talking about Rick

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Joyner having this powerful prophetic word about the facilities that are now Morningstar when the

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whole Jim Baker thing happened. And he was actually very honoring about Jim Baker too.

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And they they've had, they had had him there and stuff like that when he was like repentant and

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stuff. But yeah, he was saying that those, you know, that those facilities, like businesses

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had tried to take over, but they just failed because it was like meant to be used for like

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ministry. And I'm like, I turned to Bruce, I'm like, that's where Ashley lives.

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It's those buildings. I feel like I know what he's talking about. That's right. It is. And

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ours is the main original hotel that literally right next to the old water slide lake. And so

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it's a lake now that they've developed like houses around and it's not owned by,

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I don't know if it's owned by Morningstar or not. Maybe the lake is, I don't know.

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Anyway, you can still see the old like concrete. I don't know, like cylinder holders, you know,

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for like, for the posts at the water slide, you can still see those. It's so weird.

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It's so crazy because like, I, I mean, I probably, I think I'd heard Rick Joyner's name, like,

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you know, kind of through the, but I had never really, Morningstar had never been on my radar

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until you're like, you've moved there. And now I'm like, maybe it's just because I'm like aware

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of it, but like now I'm like, oh my gosh, like Morningstar, Morningstar, Morningstar. I'm like,

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maybe I just was like, not aware. Like I just wasn't paying attention or something.

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Well, part of it has gotten a little bit of a quote unquote revival because Chris Reed has

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now come in to take over. And so he's really so that the the church is now probably like doubled

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in size, you know, on like a Sunday morning because he's just really drawing crowds. And

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of course he's, he's becoming, he's my age. He's literally my age. He's like a few years,

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a few months younger than I am. And he's like, but he's got this very unique prophetic voice

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and he's, he's refreshing. He's very humble. He's very, so like I said, he's young, he's humble.

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He's he's refreshing and he, people are having him on all of these talk shows, like, like Sean Bowles

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and, and, and then he goes, and then Chris Reed goes to IHOP and he's really good friends with

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Stuart Greaves, who has now taken over for Mike Bickle for IHOP. And so all of that.

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So anyway, they're like really good buddies and, um, and that

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started last year because they were both being groomed for

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their current positions.

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And so anyway, they see things a lot of likes.

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So point is that it's, uh, that's drawn a lot of attention

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to Morningstar because there's this new prophetic voice whose

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prophecies on like literally global prophecies are coming

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true.

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Like he prophesied, uh, Liz trusts, uh, being, being, um,

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uh, becoming prime minister, but he didn't know who she was.

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He just prophesied about that.

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It did a dot.

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And then sure enough, it was, um, it, uh, she was, uh, became

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prime minister and of course did the kissing of the hands.

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It's like the last act, the last official act that queen

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Elizabeth did was before she passed.

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Anyway, so stuff like that.

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And he, he prophesied, uh, Nancy Pelosi's husband, um, getting

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into the scandal that he did, but he didn't know what it was.

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He just knew something really bad was going to happen to the

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Pelosi family.

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They needed to be, everyone needed to be praying for him,

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et cetera.

207
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So stuff like that.

208
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And I don't know a few other things, dream that he had that,

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uh, where an angel came to him and sit and told him that I say

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it's a dream, dream, visitation, vision, um, that John, the

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beloved is still alive in the caves of Turkey that went viral.

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Oh, wow.

213
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And so there are some people who obviously just said, oh,

214
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well, that's just ridiculous because it's not like John is

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still alive and I can't believe that he would actually go around

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saying that he is.

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And, and then there are other people like, oh my goodness, can

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you believe that that, that that's true?

219
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And there are others that are just like, well, I don't really

220
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know, but they're fascinated by the idea anyway.

221
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So that stuff like that has just gotten him very well known.

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And then of course, now he does the school of the prophets.

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And so sometimes now when he goes around and, and, um, and

224
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does like a podcast interviews or whatever, he'll try to

225
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promote the school of the prophets.

226
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So more people are hearing about morning star or looking it up

227
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and are coming to the school.

228
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So anyway, variety of reasons, um, new people, uh, new people

229
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and old people, meaning like people who used to be part of

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morning star a long time ago, they're all coming now.

231
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So, but, um, we just heard, uh, I don't remember if this was

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Chris who said this, or if there was Ed who said it said that

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there are multiple people that are expected to start coming

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and speaking.

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And I thought it was specifically at SOP.

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I could be wrong at school of the prophets.

237
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And one of them was mentioned as bill Johnson.

238
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Oh, yeah.

239
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And I thought that was fascinating because he's been here before,

240
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but not since I've been here.

241
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So I just didn't think that the relationship was.

242
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Close in recent years, but apparently they've been in contact

243
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with him and then several other big names that they said are

244
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going to start coming in.

245
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So I think that, that Chris, you know, with the baton being

246
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passed, um, just is getting, uh, it's adding a refreshment, um,

247
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maybe to people's interest.

248
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I don't know.

249
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I never heard of it.

250
00:18:02.500 --> 00:18:04.500
So, no, I mean, that's fascinating.

251
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It's just, it's very, very cool.

252
00:18:07.420 --> 00:18:10.540
Um, so you've lived in Turkey.

253
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Did you come across John?

254
00:18:12.500 --> 00:18:13.500
I did not.

255
00:18:13.700 --> 00:18:16.220
I wish I had, I've thought about that so many times.

256
00:18:16.780 --> 00:18:20.460
In fact, one of the people based one of the guys here, he's

257
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a student at the university.

258
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He's older.

259
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I mean, older, meaning like he's in his twenties as opposed to like 18,

260
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but he went to Turkey over the summer because of Chris Reed's

261
00:18:31.820 --> 00:18:33.620
prophecy, looking for John.

262
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He was just so big, hoping so badly he'd come across him.

263
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And I was like, well, I've been there.

264
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I've never met.

265
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I'm not familiar with having ever met John, but I really wish I could have.

266
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That would be really cool.

267
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Maybe one day.

268
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So what a fascinating time.

269
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What a fascinating time to live, be so connected and it is.

270
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It's interesting.

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Sean Bowles just released a word this week and I listened to it just

272
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because he had promoted it as like one of the most important words that.

273
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He felt like he had given a long time.

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So I was like, oh, I'm curious what this is all about, but he was

275
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talking about the season of the pivot and I'm sharing it with you just

276
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because I know that you and Ed are prayerfully considering like, yeah,

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what would it, what would the next, what would transition be?

278
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And so he talked about how people are going to be transitioning at

279
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rapid rates in this like year, next year, you're probably like, I

280
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mean, you're probably already ahead.

281
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You've experienced so many pivots in the last year, but he said, it's

282
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going to feel like people having conversations, like leaving the

283
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church that they thought that they would always minister at and selling

284
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the house they thought that would be their dream home and, you know, moving

285
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from the state they always thought would be home base, things like that.

286
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So I just thought it was really fascinating.

287
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And he said that the reason for it is, and it's definitely, it's

288
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definitely an act of obedience.

289
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Like it's something that the Lord will place on your heart, but it might not

290
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make, it might not, it would be maybe the thing you never considered or not

291
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the thing that you.

292
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thought you, the movie you thought you would make, but it's a repositioning for

293
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kind of like a great reset for, um, a harvest season and people need to be in

294
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certain places and moved.

295
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And so I thought that was, I thought it was fascinating just based on some of the

296
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things that even Bruce and I are perfectly considering right now.

297
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And yeah, yeah.

298
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Yeah.

299
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Well, cool.

300
00:20:20.080 --> 00:20:23.820
Well, I saw somebody else post that prophecy, but I didn't, it was, it was

301
00:20:23.820 --> 00:20:26.560
just, they posted the video and I didn't click on the video.

302
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So it was weird.

303
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:31.600
I mean, I just, I, nobody said it was positioned like a, it was prophetic

304
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warning because he was positioning it like you want to, you know, and I feel

305
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like, um, Sean, I've always felt like Sean is like a big brother, like type,

306
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but like, he's very, he's not aggressive, very powerful, not aggressive.

307
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So even a prophetic warning from him is, I would say, uh, easily digestible.

308
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Oh, okay.

309
00:20:51.760 --> 00:20:52.040
Got it.

310
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And he was just saying like, um, his warning was like, don't hesitate to obey.

311
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Like don't sleep on the don't sleep on it basically, because the timing is

312
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important and it's not something that you want to like miss out on.

313
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Yeah.

314
00:21:05.400 --> 00:21:08.120
So that was kind of the, the warning part of it.

315
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The gist of it.

316
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Yeah.

317
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Fascinating.

318
00:21:10.320 --> 00:21:10.480
Yeah.

319
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:10.840
Okay.

320
00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:12.280
Cause I was wondering what it was about.

321
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I didn't click on it.

322
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So I'm doing like, I wonder what that's all about.

323
00:21:16.440 --> 00:21:16.800
Yeah.

324
00:21:17.040 --> 00:21:17.280
Yeah.

325
00:21:17.320 --> 00:21:18.880
So anyway, how are you?

326
00:21:19.280 --> 00:21:20.000
I'm good.

327
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:20.440
I'm good.

328
00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:25.240
So I was thinking like, you know, all that we've been discussing and, um, you

329
00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:30.720
know, heading into our holiday week, um, being with family, I think I was asking

330
00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:34.680
the Lord for just some clarity on where I'm feeling like, cause there still is

331
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that, that, that feeling of being triggered, like kind of the hesitancy of

332
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:43.960
like not fully looking forward to being in the same house with everyone.

333
00:21:43.960 --> 00:21:44.960
I'm like, Hey, why is that?

334
00:21:44.960 --> 00:21:47.280
Is that just like hurt feelings from the past?

335
00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:48.840
Is that like unforgiveness?

336
00:21:49.320 --> 00:21:52.880
And I think some of it is around this, what we've been talking about, like, and

337
00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:59.000
I might not fully understand it, but the will aspect, because I feel like, and I'm

338
00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:03.280
not even, I don't feel like anyone made me do this, or I think it was something

339
00:22:03.280 --> 00:22:09.760
that I chose looking back, I just wasn't aware and it was to like, Kind of weaken

340
00:22:09.760 --> 00:22:14.880
my will in a sense, because Bruce is such a, there's such, there's such a strong

341
00:22:14.920 --> 00:22:20.360
willed family, like they're very persistent and they endure and there's

342
00:22:20.360 --> 00:22:23.760
like, and there's a lot of strength to that, but I think in that context with

343
00:22:23.760 --> 00:22:27.640
minor things, like, you know, I mentioned like my mother-in-law asked me 40 times

344
00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:30.720
about my sister-in-law's play, like those types of things, like the persistence and

345
00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:36.920
then not taking my first no as like a final no, I think that I have like over

346
00:22:36.920 --> 00:22:44.440
the years kind of weakened my will to kind of just constantly just submit or

347
00:22:44.440 --> 00:22:49.640
like withdrawal and so I think that's where some of the pain points are for me

348
00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:55.080
is I'm struggling to like show up fully and I think it has to do with like the

349
00:22:55.080 --> 00:23:00.040
will piece of who I am. I don't know if I'm even making sense.

350
00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:05.040
No, it definitely does because the, as soon as she started talking, the idea

351
00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:10.520
that, that, you know, just kind of impressed on me was this, the sense that

352
00:23:11.040 --> 00:23:17.200
you weren't looking forward to it because you, you're always having to be on your

353
00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:21.760
toes because you've approached it always as what am I now going to have to react

354
00:23:21.760 --> 00:23:25.560
to? What am I going to respond to? So in other words, you don't own your neck this

355
00:23:25.560 --> 00:23:30.360
next week. You just always have to be ready to handle whatever everybody else

356
00:23:30.360 --> 00:23:35.080
decides. In other words, in any conversation, somebody walks up to you or,

357
00:23:35.080 --> 00:23:38.800
or they're, they're not even near you, they're across the room and then you're

358
00:23:38.800 --> 00:23:43.360
geared towards what is now, what does God now expect of me? Do I need to handle

359
00:23:43.360 --> 00:23:47.400
that? Do I need to, do I need to pray for them? Do I have, it's just like, it's

360
00:23:47.400 --> 00:23:51.160
just everything is if your whole life is being directed by, especially like when

361
00:23:51.160 --> 00:23:56.320
you're around them, directed by what is required of you and you've got to make a

362
00:23:56.320 --> 00:24:00.280
split minute decision to be obedient, of how to be obedient. You've got to figure

363
00:24:00.280 --> 00:24:01.720
it out and you've got to do it.

364
00:24:02.040 --> 00:24:07.200
And this translates to, this is a, it's a great, like, cause it's happening now,

365
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:11.040
but I'm realizing this translates to everything. My business relationship, even

366
00:24:11.040 --> 00:24:13.720
with Bruce, like making decisions on like what we're going to do, how we're

367
00:24:13.720 --> 00:24:18.880
going to move forward. I find myself and he's, he's very good with me. Like, it's

368
00:24:18.880 --> 00:24:25.080
not like he's pushy or aggressive. He is quick action, early adopter. Like we are

369
00:24:25.080 --> 00:24:33.800
different in that way, just anyway. But I struggle to feel, to trust my decision

370
00:24:33.800 --> 00:24:40.160
making ability, my discernment, my, like, even just feeling like if he's feeling

371
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:43.960
like we should do something and I'm like, can we hold off? I struggle. Even if I

372
00:24:43.960 --> 00:24:47.800
feel like he'll receive it, that's the scary part because I'm like, what if I'm

373
00:24:47.840 --> 00:24:53.400
wrong? And so like, to your point, I'm constantly in this, like, almost like

374
00:24:53.400 --> 00:24:59.000
this hyper negotiation mode internally of when to like take action, when to not

375
00:24:59.000 --> 00:24:59.800
take action.

376
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.760
Oh, there's a lot of doubt that comes anyway, because is this even the right move? This family

377
00:25:05.760 --> 00:25:12.880
situation is kind of, I think what the Lord is using to like, like kind of the whole, show me

378
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:17.120
the whole picture of how that's manifesting in different areas. Yeah, no, that, yeah, that

379
00:25:17.120 --> 00:25:26.640
definitely makes sense. Yeah. Um, so, well, you know, what are your, uh, what are your thoughts?

380
00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:32.560
I mean, how did you kind of want to, I mean, are you, I'm wanting, maybe I want to kind of circle

381
00:25:32.560 --> 00:25:37.840
back to the, if you have any insight or anything you've walked through when it comes to that,

382
00:25:37.840 --> 00:25:43.120
you know, you talked about the maturing of the will. And I think I was really taken by that

383
00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:49.200
because I feel like that was, it was, it felt like a new concept, but it felt like it resonated,

384
00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:56.240
like something I needed to pursue. I feel like I don't even know I've so operated in this mode.

385
00:25:56.320 --> 00:26:02.080
And I was talking to, um, the woman I'm doing like the, uh, quantum healing is what it's called

386
00:26:02.080 --> 00:26:08.880
thing. And she had pointed out that sometimes we inherit faulty operating systems usually from

387
00:26:08.880 --> 00:26:14.400
parents. Yeah. And it's, and you know, what I love about her is like, it's not like this long

388
00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:18.960
process to rid it. It's just kind of like you recognize it and then you pray and release it

389
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:22.880
and kind of, you know, cause the Lord has this original operating system, but she has said one

390
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.400
of the things she felt like we had identified in our conversation was this faulty operating,

391
00:26:26.400 --> 00:26:33.040
this faulty operating system of fear. And it manifests itself in, you know, kind of the

392
00:26:33.040 --> 00:26:39.520
usual things you would think of like anxiety, you know, panic, but also like feelings of inadequacy.

393
00:26:39.520 --> 00:26:45.040
And she said failure of, I mean, um, fear of failure, but also fear of success.

394
00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:49.520
Yeah, absolutely. And I thought that was so interesting. Cause I was like, I feel like

395
00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:54.880
I definitely don't know if I've ever put that language to it, but that's like, it's feels

396
00:26:55.600 --> 00:27:01.360
that instability of constantly being like, I don't want to fail, but also the, I don't want to take

397
00:27:01.360 --> 00:27:05.600
on more responsibility. Cause I already feel so responsible. I don't want to take on more

398
00:27:05.600 --> 00:27:11.520
responsibility of success. And like, I kind of feel that way, like, so in the family dynamic or

399
00:27:11.520 --> 00:27:16.560
even in the business dynamic, that looks like I just want to withdraw because if I'm right,

400
00:27:16.560 --> 00:27:22.320
then I'm having to lead something like a lead, a decision, lead a plan being seen

401
00:27:23.040 --> 00:27:31.280
like out. And that feels like a lot of work. So I know that's a lot of, of things, but I'm

402
00:27:31.280 --> 00:27:36.160
wondering if like, it's that there's, there's like a, it's the operating system where I've

403
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:41.280
released this, this operating system of fear, which is really, I think has weakened my will.

404
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:46.400
I don't even know if I'm using the right terms, but yeah. Bring it like I'm, I'm bringing back my,

405
00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:52.240
I'm coming back into alignment and choosing powerfully my real operating system. And I

406
00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:57.840
think I have to like build this muscle of will. Yeah. That's how I kind of feel. Yeah. So it's

407
00:27:57.840 --> 00:28:01.600
basically reconnecting with yourself. Cause right now there's a disconnect. Exactly. See, there you

408
00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:09.040
go. That's all. Yeah. Just like, Hey, it's a, it's a disconnect. So it's the same, which is why,

409
00:28:09.040 --> 00:28:14.640
you know, you can have that fear of failure, but also that fear of success is because either both

410
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:18.400
that the fear of failure means, you know, obviously, you know, that, that self-doubt,

411
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:23.440
which the fear of success can be as well, but also the, that, that fear of success is,

412
00:28:23.440 --> 00:28:27.040
you know, you just have this with a, with a disconnect from yourself,

413
00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:32.880
you know, you just have this with a, with a disconnect from yourself with success requires

414
00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:39.360
something of you. And, and there's, there's kind of like lack of better phrase, there's attention

415
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:43.920
on you. And I don't even necessarily mean from people, but like what you said,

416
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:50.800
it's just kind of like this responsibility or whatever. And you and success is challenging.

417
00:28:50.800 --> 00:28:55.200
If you don't, aren't there to show up. Yeah. I know that that might sound weird, but in other

418
00:28:55.200 --> 00:29:01.360
words, not to just steward the success, but to actually just participate in it, it, it,

419
00:29:01.360 --> 00:29:06.880
it actually requires you. But if we've taught ourselves that we're the thing that could

420
00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:12.080
actually be that, that we're the thing to be avoided because we're the thing that could

421
00:29:12.080 --> 00:29:19.520
potentially destroy ourselves or other people, or, or we, or we're likely, or we're the thing

422
00:29:19.520 --> 00:29:26.160
that we're always having to fight. So if fight our decisions, our will, our wants, because they're

423
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:31.600
all bad. And so if we just simply disassociate ourselves from ourselves, then we stop having

424
00:29:31.600 --> 00:29:37.200
to fight so much kind of thing. So anyway, because, because we can find ourselves instead of

425
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:44.240
being a joy and something to kind of ride the ride, the power of, which sounds really weird,

426
00:29:44.240 --> 00:29:49.280
but almost like just like harness and just, just kind of enjoy the forward motion of it.

427
00:29:49.280 --> 00:29:52.640
That's what I'm trying to say. The forward motion of who it is that we are. I don't mean power,

428
00:29:52.640 --> 00:29:57.600
like we're this powerful being, but I just mean like the forward motion that God placed into us

429
00:29:59.040 --> 00:29:59.840
that.

430
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.240
And, and anyway, I don't remember exactly grammatically how I was

431
00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:08.840
phrasing that sentence, but the point is that, that, uh, we're.

432
00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:11.860
That we're not grabbing a hold of that.

433
00:30:12.180 --> 00:30:16.700
And, um, and therefore we just consider we're, we're avoiding

434
00:30:16.700 --> 00:30:18.740
ourselves instead of enjoying ourselves.

435
00:30:19.080 --> 00:30:23.880
We think that we're, we're fighting ourselves instead of using our energy to,

436
00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:28.980
I don't, um, well, the, the word that keeps coming to mind is, is enjoy us,

437
00:30:28.980 --> 00:30:35.320
but it's like grab, it's almost like, um, it's more than simply accepting

438
00:30:35.320 --> 00:30:39.700
ourselves, we actually have to kind of like grab a hold of ourselves kind of

439
00:30:39.700 --> 00:30:43.140
like, as if you're kind of grabbing the bull, the bull by the horns, kind of

440
00:30:43.140 --> 00:30:48.700
like, or grabbing life, you know, by the, by the reins or whatever is we

441
00:30:48.700 --> 00:30:49.980
have to do that with ourselves.

442
00:30:49.980 --> 00:30:54.140
We have to actually act offensively towards, towards ourselves.

443
00:30:54.180 --> 00:30:58.980
The fact that we grab it and, and we think of ourselves as this positive

444
00:30:58.980 --> 00:31:03.060
thing that almost like there's like this, as if there's like this force

445
00:31:03.060 --> 00:31:11.100
within us that, um, can be acknowledged and, um, not used, but experienced.

446
00:31:11.580 --> 00:31:12.080
Yeah.

447
00:31:12.140 --> 00:31:14.060
And that it can actually produce good things.

448
00:31:14.340 --> 00:31:16.740
So me, I made that transition.

449
00:31:16.780 --> 00:31:21.900
Um, I mean, I'm still working on it, but, um, I mean, like I went from, from.

450
00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:26.580
Doubting myself completely and not having a will, not

451
00:31:26.580 --> 00:31:28.060
having decisions, et cetera.

452
00:31:28.540 --> 00:31:30.980
I started doing that.

453
00:31:31.280 --> 00:31:35.220
I mean, uh, I made that really big decision in December, 2018.

454
00:31:35.220 --> 00:31:37.780
Remember where I told the Lord, I said, Lord, I'm not going to make, I'm

455
00:31:37.780 --> 00:31:39.340
not going to live life very differently.

456
00:31:39.620 --> 00:31:42.860
And prior to this, I've made my decisions based on what you told me.

457
00:31:42.860 --> 00:31:46.080
And if you didn't tell me to do anything, I wouldn't move until you

458
00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:47.900
told me to move forward or backwards.

459
00:31:47.900 --> 00:31:52.500
But now Lord, and then Lord, if you tell me to do anything, well, I would just

460
00:31:52.500 --> 00:31:57.400
look at what it is that I didn't want to do and then avoid what it is that I did

461
00:31:57.400 --> 00:31:57.900
want to do.

462
00:31:58.540 --> 00:32:04.580
And, um, so now Lord that opposite is simply, um, I'm now going to do

463
00:32:04.580 --> 00:32:05.980
whatever it is that I want to do.

464
00:32:06.420 --> 00:32:11.860
And so that's, that was weird for me because I had to turn off my phone.

465
00:32:13.300 --> 00:32:15.740
Um, there we go.

466
00:32:16.180 --> 00:32:23.120
Um, uh, it felt really, really strange because I, I always interacted with

467
00:32:23.120 --> 00:32:27.540
myself as if I was selfish and as if, you know, I was just, like I said,

468
00:32:27.540 --> 00:32:28.940
just, I was destructive.

469
00:32:28.940 --> 00:32:29.780
I was a problem.

470
00:32:29.780 --> 00:32:32.140
I was something that always had to be battled, something that

471
00:32:32.140 --> 00:32:32.900
always had to be fought.

472
00:32:32.940 --> 00:32:37.940
I required a lot of energy of myself because I was always having to stifle.

473
00:32:37.940 --> 00:32:42.860
I was always having to be, I was always having to be, to be very vigilant of

474
00:32:42.860 --> 00:32:46.180
what was coming up out of me or trying to come up out of me and make sure that I

475
00:32:46.180 --> 00:32:52.260
was, that I was on the ready to, to, um, be on the defense against it, against

476
00:32:52.260 --> 00:32:55.160
myself, it's just, it is, it's just very exhausting.

477
00:32:55.160 --> 00:33:00.220
So what I began to do is I began to trust that there were good things in me and I

478
00:33:00.220 --> 00:33:06.020
just began to, let's see if I can think of some examples, but I just began to act

479
00:33:06.020 --> 00:33:08.340
on them, act on things that I wanted to do.

480
00:33:08.740 --> 00:33:13.780
And like an exercise, like actually, like I just see that visualization of like,

481
00:33:13.780 --> 00:33:17.660
just try it, like lift the weight.

482
00:33:17.700 --> 00:33:18.140
Yeah.

483
00:33:18.340 --> 00:33:19.020
Yeah, correct.

484
00:33:19.060 --> 00:33:23.300
And, um, so one of the things that I, the very first thing that I did that was in

485
00:33:23.300 --> 00:33:28.420
line with that was I bought a $2,000 business course and that to me, it was a

486
00:33:28.420 --> 00:33:35.100
very, very, very big deal because for one thing I, I did have a job, but, um, I was.

487
00:33:35.980 --> 00:33:40.860
Um, that I, I was, how would you put it?

488
00:33:41.780 --> 00:33:47.660
The, the, the relationships were strained with the contract that I had, because

489
00:33:47.660 --> 00:33:51.300
that was the contract in which I was being bullied by one of the owners.

490
00:33:51.860 --> 00:33:56.700
And then, so I was the guy who looked like I was, I was the bad, I looked like

491
00:33:56.700 --> 00:33:59.540
I was the bad guy because of course that's how he presented it and et cetera.

492
00:33:59.540 --> 00:34:02.260
And so I was relegated to reports, et cetera.

493
00:34:02.540 --> 00:34:05.260
And the Lord told me, actually, this is my provision for you right now.

494
00:34:05.260 --> 00:34:08.420
So, but telling you what, it was very, very humbling because I was

495
00:34:08.420 --> 00:34:09.580
low man on the totem pole.

496
00:34:09.580 --> 00:34:13.100
It was, it was, it was actually pretty wild, but anyway.

497
00:34:13.139 --> 00:34:17.620
And, um, and that eventually I hurt my, my ankle, I twisted it.

498
00:34:17.620 --> 00:34:22.300
And so I had to, um, I had to, I don't even remember how I did it,

499
00:34:23.020 --> 00:34:24.980
but I think I did it at home.

500
00:34:25.380 --> 00:34:30.420
But anyway, the thing is that I, um, I was at home and all of that.

501
00:34:30.420 --> 00:34:34.500
So there was like this disconnective of the relationship, but still it was just

502
00:34:34.500 --> 00:34:37.820
kind of, and so I was working on stuff from home, but it was strained.

503
00:34:37.860 --> 00:34:39.900
There wasn't a whole lot that they gave me to do.

504
00:34:39.900 --> 00:34:42.580
I think I was probably on hourly by that point.

505
00:34:43.100 --> 00:34:47.699
Um, and so I was only getting money for whatever it is that I was getting

506
00:34:47.980 --> 00:34:50.420
hours for, and I didn't have any new clients coming in.

507
00:34:50.420 --> 00:34:54.540
So it was just kind of like a precarious situation, you know,

508
00:34:54.540 --> 00:34:55.980
from the worldly standpoint.

509
00:34:56.380 --> 00:34:59.940
And, um, all I knew is that I had lived life.

510
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.780
As far making decisions based on what I explained.

511
00:35:03.900 --> 00:35:07.560
And this is where I was and I'm like, okay, let's go big or go home.

512
00:35:07.820 --> 00:35:09.280
Let's take really big risk.

513
00:35:09.300 --> 00:35:11.100
Let's try to do something different.

514
00:35:11.100 --> 00:35:12.620
Let's try to create something different.

515
00:35:12.660 --> 00:35:18.260
And so I, I spent $2,000 when I was in a financially precarious situation.

516
00:35:18.260 --> 00:35:19.460
Like I said, I had the money.

517
00:35:20.040 --> 00:35:24.060
I, I must've had it in savings somewhere, but I only had so much.

518
00:35:24.100 --> 00:35:27.540
So the point was it really was a big risk because oh my goodness, surely

519
00:35:27.540 --> 00:35:29.020
I'm going to need it in the next few months.

520
00:35:29.380 --> 00:35:32.900
But I risked big on the front end and I did it and I did it without really asking

521
00:35:32.900 --> 00:35:38.100
God, I kind of did, but I just kind of like opened my spirit and like, okay, do

522
00:35:38.100 --> 00:35:39.920
I, do I at least not hear a no.

523
00:35:40.660 --> 00:35:44.580
And then I went forward with it because I was still too afraid to ask God directly.

524
00:35:44.580 --> 00:35:47.020
Cause I thought I always had this expectation.

525
00:35:47.380 --> 00:35:49.540
If I want anything, he's always going to say no.

526
00:35:50.180 --> 00:35:53.940
So anyway, I just kind of like opened my spirit and just like, okay, well, do I

527
00:35:53.940 --> 00:35:55.380
feel, do I feel freedom in it?

528
00:35:55.380 --> 00:35:56.180
I was like, well, I do.

529
00:35:56.180 --> 00:35:57.580
So I'm going to go ahead and do it.

530
00:35:58.100 --> 00:36:02.220
Um, but a good portion of it was me just deciding it's what I wanted and me

531
00:36:02.220 --> 00:36:06.820
finally pursuing something that I wanted, pursuing a dream, pursuing a possibility,

532
00:36:06.820 --> 00:36:13.300
pursuing, you know, just, uh, pursuing something that I just wanted for myself.

533
00:36:13.620 --> 00:36:18.140
And then I told them in the, that one of the first things in the course was

534
00:36:18.140 --> 00:36:22.260
they asked, you know, why are you doing this and pick a goal and to work

535
00:36:22.260 --> 00:36:25.260
towards that goal so that you could always remember, and of course

536
00:36:25.260 --> 00:36:26.580
this is a non-Christian course.

537
00:36:26.940 --> 00:36:29.700
So they were always just like, so what's this goal that you're going to work

538
00:36:29.700 --> 00:36:33.820
towards, like X dollar amount, or what do you want to do with your life or whatever?

539
00:36:34.220 --> 00:36:36.500
And I told the Lord, I remember where I was sitting.

540
00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:41.380
I told the Lord, Lord, just FYI, I'm going to be building this business based

541
00:36:41.380 --> 00:36:45.100
off of this course that just, which is teaching me how to move my business

542
00:36:45.100 --> 00:36:50.060
consulting online, and then I am going to do this to build my business up to move

543
00:36:50.060 --> 00:36:52.380
to London and I'm going to do it by May.

544
00:36:53.380 --> 00:36:53.900
That's the end.

545
00:36:53.900 --> 00:36:54.780
This is in January.

546
00:36:55.460 --> 00:36:58.740
And it's like right at the very beginning of January, I think about the course of

547
00:36:58.740 --> 00:37:01.340
like January 2nd or something, you know, it was very new.

548
00:37:01.380 --> 00:37:03.500
And so I told the Lord, you know, this is what I'm going to do.

549
00:37:03.500 --> 00:37:06.740
And so I basically just kind of like opened up and dreamed big.

550
00:37:07.380 --> 00:37:08.820
And then I made a decision.

551
00:37:09.340 --> 00:37:12.860
Now I'm not saying that I made a decision it with this heart in me

552
00:37:12.860 --> 00:37:14.900
of like rebellion against the Lord.

553
00:37:15.580 --> 00:37:21.340
It, but I, but there was an element in which I had to just really step out on

554
00:37:21.340 --> 00:37:28.620
finding what I wanted deep down within me and actually, actually stepping out on it.

555
00:37:29.100 --> 00:37:31.660
Um, so that's what I did, but understand everything I'm

556
00:37:31.660 --> 00:37:33.740
describing I did from a very hurt place.

557
00:37:34.100 --> 00:37:37.500
So what I recommend to people to do now is what I began to do.

558
00:37:37.820 --> 00:37:42.060
You know, as the Lord began to teach me to trust in him and to

559
00:37:42.060 --> 00:37:43.700
trust that he loved me, et cetera.

560
00:37:44.020 --> 00:37:48.860
Is then I would make decisions based off of the fact that, oh, well, first of all,

561
00:37:48.860 --> 00:37:53.060
let me explain that when I told the Lord that I would, um, that I was going to go

562
00:37:53.060 --> 00:37:56.340
to London and that's what I, or that's what I was going to work towards.

563
00:37:56.900 --> 00:38:02.460
I felt life come into me and, and I feel he was excited about it.

564
00:38:02.460 --> 00:38:03.580
He was pleased.

565
00:38:03.620 --> 00:38:07.020
And it wasn't necessarily that I was going to London that he was excited about.

566
00:38:07.460 --> 00:38:11.420
It was just the fact that I was dreaming of something that I wanted to do.

567
00:38:11.700 --> 00:38:16.140
And I was so excited and he was excited that I was excited about something, you

568
00:38:16.140 --> 00:38:21.300
know, and that was just new for me that I could, that God could be delighted by the

569
00:38:21.300 --> 00:38:26.420
fact that I was delighted by something that I could just enjoy something.

570
00:38:26.900 --> 00:38:31.540
And cause this, this wasn't, and this was very different approach for me because

571
00:38:31.540 --> 00:38:34.940
before I always thought, well, God's only pleased if you're doing his will.

572
00:38:35.300 --> 00:38:39.380
And his will is these things that he's got you to do that are always working

573
00:38:39.380 --> 00:38:44.180
very specifically towards executing on a particular agenda and getting to a

574
00:38:44.180 --> 00:38:45.900
particular spiritual destination.

575
00:38:45.900 --> 00:38:48.900
So something very important spiritually could be accomplished.

576
00:38:49.580 --> 00:38:56.620
And so if, if you're, if there's anything else that, that, um, that the only things

577
00:38:56.620 --> 00:39:00.260
that are worth it, and the only things that make him happy are anything along that

578
00:39:00.260 --> 00:39:06.180
thread, anything in addition is frivolous, you know, it's just, it's not important.

579
00:39:06.580 --> 00:39:12.620
Um, in fact, it, it just gets in the way it's, it's distracting you, you know, it's,

580
00:39:12.620 --> 00:39:17.020
it's you being like childish and weak and you just wanting all the cool things, et

581
00:39:17.020 --> 00:39:17.380
cetera.

582
00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:24.100
So I had to begin to, to, um, to just choose, especially once the Lord began to

583
00:39:24.460 --> 00:39:27.420
teach me, you know, that he really did love, really did love me.

584
00:39:27.420 --> 00:39:30.180
And then he really was who he said that he was.

585
00:39:30.180 --> 00:39:31.620
He would kept providing for me.

586
00:39:31.620 --> 00:39:33.500
He kept protecting me, et cetera.

587
00:39:33.980 --> 00:39:39.580
Then I had to learn how to make, how to act out on my desires because he loved me,

588
00:39:40.140 --> 00:39:44.540
you know, and just, and just, um, and, and that's why I tell people, you know, I

589
00:39:44.540 --> 00:39:48.740
recommend that it got, if God doesn't always tell you exactly what to do, my whole

590
00:39:48.740 --> 00:39:52.060
point in telling you all this is, this is how I, how I built up my will.

591
00:39:53.660 --> 00:39:56.980
I had to reaccess who I was.

592
00:39:57.220 --> 00:39:58.900
And part of that is what I wanted.

593
00:39:59.220 --> 00:39:59.980
Like, what do I.

594
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.000
want? And how do in other words, how do I feel? Am I mad because

595
00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:09.120
they talk to me like that? Do I like being in the situation? Or

596
00:40:09.120 --> 00:40:12.140
do I not like being in the situation? That was a bit more

597
00:40:12.140 --> 00:40:16.600
challenging for me to deal with. So instead, I chose because I

598
00:40:16.600 --> 00:40:20.840
always just thought I was in the wrong in any situation. If if

599
00:40:20.840 --> 00:40:23.800
somebody wasn't happy, anything that involves somebody else, I

600
00:40:23.800 --> 00:40:25.920
was just apparently I was in the wrong. That's how I thought of

601
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:29.720
it. So for me, the easier thing to do was something that

602
00:40:29.720 --> 00:40:32.520
didn't have anything to do with anybody else. And it was just

603
00:40:32.520 --> 00:40:36.120
something I could do for me, that was easier for me to kind

604
00:40:36.120 --> 00:40:39.440
of like get a touch point of reconnecting with myself again,

605
00:40:39.680 --> 00:40:46.160
because I was not dealing with any triggers, where I was more

606
00:40:46.160 --> 00:40:49.920
sensitive and triggered by situations that included other

607
00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:52.960
people. So I'm having to pick something that allows me to

608
00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:56.400
reconnect with myself, that didn't have me as triggered,

609
00:40:56.640 --> 00:40:59.640
already was hard enough, because I already thought I was bad, I

610
00:40:59.640 --> 00:41:03.800
already thought that anything that I wanted was, if I wanted

611
00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:06.800
something, it meant God was going to require it of me. And

612
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:09.160
it meant that he was going to sacrifice, I was going to be

613
00:41:09.160 --> 00:41:12.720
required to sacrifice it. So I just didn't want because if you

614
00:41:12.720 --> 00:41:15.200
don't want, well, then God won't take it away from you. And you

615
00:41:15.200 --> 00:41:17.760
won't be disappointed. So let's just not go through that

616
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:21.160
heartache. And let's just not want it. So anyway, that's why

617
00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:24.000
when I'm talking to you about like maturing your will, that's

618
00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:27.680
what I used. And that's why because the anything to do with

619
00:41:27.680 --> 00:41:30.480
people to triggering, so it's like, well, what else can I do

620
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:33.760
to like reconnect with myself. And so I chose what it is that I

621
00:41:33.760 --> 00:41:36.080
wanted to do. And so I would figure out, well, what do I want

622
00:41:36.080 --> 00:41:41.520
to spend my time on? What do I want to what do I want to read?

623
00:41:41.760 --> 00:41:46.280
One of the really big things for me was buying things. Is there a

624
00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:49.960
particular type of clothes, some clothes that I would just really

625
00:41:49.960 --> 00:41:53.960
like to buy, or I would be out shopping and seeing stuff. And I

626
00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:56.640
saw something that was completely impractical that I

627
00:41:56.640 --> 00:41:59.680
thought, you know, there's there's better ways to be

628
00:41:59.680 --> 00:42:05.120
spending my money. And, and I would I remember, I don't

629
00:42:05.120 --> 00:42:08.040
remember what it is that I bought, but I remember standing

630
00:42:08.040 --> 00:42:14.240
somewhere and intentionally choosing it in order to teach

631
00:42:14.240 --> 00:42:19.760
myself to want something and, and obtain for myself the thing

632
00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:22.200
that I wanted. In other words, to want something and follow

633
00:42:22.200 --> 00:42:23.080
through on the want.

634
00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:27.560
That is big for me. That was, I mean, from there's there was

635
00:42:27.560 --> 00:42:32.560
never a time in my life where that was celebrated or, or that

636
00:42:32.560 --> 00:42:35.960
hurts my heart. Well, I mean, it wasn't for me either. But yeah,

637
00:42:36.040 --> 00:42:39.600
I mean, to hear it from you. I know my parents loved me in that

638
00:42:39.600 --> 00:42:43.080
way. And they definitely like, blessed me in ways that they

639
00:42:43.080 --> 00:42:49.280
could, but they're very frugal. Yeah. And so I just I and so I

640
00:42:49.280 --> 00:42:54.320
I've carried that even through my marriage, like, like, just

641
00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:57.840
not ever feeling the permission. And Bruce is like, so generous

642
00:42:57.840 --> 00:43:01.600
with me, like, babe, buy it. And I like, yeah, I fit it

643
00:43:01.600 --> 00:43:05.560
physically brings me pain. Yeah. Yeah. Correct. Like, I'm trying

644
00:43:05.560 --> 00:43:07.680
to explain to him. I'm like, babe, it's not you. Like, I

645
00:43:07.680 --> 00:43:10.800
know. But it's like, it physically brings me pain to

646
00:43:10.800 --> 00:43:13.360
life. Yeah. Yeah. So that's huge.

647
00:43:13.520 --> 00:43:17.360
Yeah. So that those are some things that I did to help mature

648
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:20.400
my will to have reconnect me with something. So we can talk

649
00:43:20.400 --> 00:43:23.800
all day about, oh, like, acknowledging that there's

650
00:43:23.800 --> 00:43:26.440
nothing bad in you. And that God really does see you that way.

651
00:43:26.440 --> 00:43:29.520
But what are we going to do to act on that? That's, that's,

652
00:43:29.560 --> 00:43:33.880
that's helpful. So I had to grab things, I had to grab things and

653
00:43:33.880 --> 00:43:36.880
figure out how can I act on it. And so I'd be I'd be like at

654
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:39.400
Ross or at Marshall's, which might sound silly, but I would

655
00:43:39.400 --> 00:43:41.280
be at those places, because sometimes you can find some

656
00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:45.400
really cool finds. And, and so I would find something there. And

657
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:50.040
I think, okay, you know, I don't have much money. And, and

658
00:43:50.080 --> 00:43:53.280
I really don't need to be buying this, I don't need to be buying

659
00:43:53.280 --> 00:43:55.400
things, period. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be

660
00:43:55.400 --> 00:43:58.080
shopping, I should be at home working, or I should be doing

661
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:02.160
da da da da da. But to allow myself to not just do it,

662
00:44:02.160 --> 00:44:05.840
because, again, you know, just saying, Okay, if God says I can

663
00:44:05.840 --> 00:44:09.880
do it, I could just do it. That doesn't have my faith. And

664
00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:13.080
therefore, I'm not going to be like supported when I step out

665
00:44:13.080 --> 00:44:16.720
on the action. So it actually required me to fully enjoy the

666
00:44:16.720 --> 00:44:21.480
moment. I couldn't just do it. And just like, okay, I just need

667
00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:24.440
to buy it, I just need to make myself do it. That's not gonna,

668
00:44:24.640 --> 00:44:27.600
that's not gonna help. Because the whole point is me choosing

669
00:44:27.600 --> 00:44:31.600
first, that what God says about me is true. And then acting on

670
00:44:31.600 --> 00:44:34.600
it and enjoying the whole experience, as opposed to being

671
00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:38.920
nervous. And and thinking, Oh, my word, I hope this works. Or I

672
00:44:38.920 --> 00:44:41.080
hope I'm not going to suffer for this. I hope I'm not going to

673
00:44:41.080 --> 00:44:46.320
bear consequences, but fully and truly owning the decision.

674
00:44:46.800 --> 00:44:50.920
And that was something that I learned a lot from, from Chris

675
00:44:50.920 --> 00:44:55.400
Blackaby. The way that he refers to it as is he said, actually,

676
00:44:55.400 --> 00:44:59.160
you need to make a strong decision. Like a power. So that

677
00:44:59.200 --> 00:44:59.960
yeah, yes.

678
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.120
powerful choice. He said that that's how he would always describe it to me. He said,

679
00:45:05.120 --> 00:45:09.760
Ashley, if you're, if you're wondering, he said, you know, seek it out with the Lord as best you

680
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:14.800
can. He said, and then just whatever it is, whatever you do, make a strong decision. And

681
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:21.360
what he was saying was own your decision, be responsible to the Lord for the decision that

682
00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:25.600
you make as opposed to, okay, well, God, I'm going to do this because I think you're saying

683
00:45:25.600 --> 00:45:30.400
that I can do this. So, you know, you know, your head's on the chopping block for this,

684
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:36.080
you know, because I'm just doing it because I think you say to is what I, what I had to learn

685
00:45:36.080 --> 00:45:41.920
is I had to learn, no, we have to own our decisions before the Lord, Lord, I'm doing this

686
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:46.720
because I believe that you say that this is who I am. And this is the, and this is how it is that

687
00:45:46.720 --> 00:45:51.680
you want me to operate as a mature son. And I'm learning on, this is my practice, Lord.

688
00:45:52.560 --> 00:45:57.040
This isn't even me like doing anything big. This is just me being at the store,

689
00:45:57.040 --> 00:46:02.400
just buying something. This isn't talking about like building some business and making these

690
00:46:02.400 --> 00:46:06.880
really big decisions that are affecting people because Lord, that is something that I have to

691
00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:13.360
be more mature in my will in for me to be able to execute on as a mature son of yours. That's it

692
00:46:13.360 --> 00:46:20.160
acting on yours in my character. And right now I'm just trying to get, uh, trying to work with

693
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:27.040
and water the little seedling of a, of a will that I have. So this is me practicing and maturing

694
00:46:27.040 --> 00:46:33.600
that thing. So anyway, I had to learn though, that, that what made it important was not me doing it.

695
00:46:34.560 --> 00:46:40.960
It was, it was me coming into agreement with it, with the fact that God says that I'm good

696
00:46:40.960 --> 00:46:46.240
and then strongly as Chris would say, you know, making a strong decision. In other words,

697
00:46:46.240 --> 00:46:53.760
owning the experience, the moment, me taking it and feeling and choosing that I have a right.

698
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:58.560
In other words, I don't mean right. As in like, God's even necessarily okay with me buying that.

699
00:46:58.560 --> 00:47:04.640
Cause sometimes I don't know, right. But I'm just like, but God, I need something. And I,

700
00:47:04.640 --> 00:47:12.800
I feel like I do anything that I like, and it's wrong. So I have to break that Lord. Somehow I

701
00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:18.640
have to break out of that thinking. It's like this ironclad thinking, and I do have to bust

702
00:47:18.640 --> 00:47:24.960
out of it. And the Lord is so gracious. He gives you, he gives you the, um, the chance to just

703
00:47:24.960 --> 00:47:32.080
kind of like break out of it in whatever way that you feel that you is appropriate for you to,

704
00:47:32.080 --> 00:47:36.080
you know, and you're just like, okay, God, I I've never done this before. I felt like anything that

705
00:47:36.080 --> 00:47:39.920
I do is wrong or anything that I would choose is wrong. But if you say that that's not true,

706
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:45.360
then Lord, I found something I really want. So I'm going to, this is part of it, honoring yourself,

707
00:47:45.360 --> 00:47:50.320
honoring what it is that you want and the fact that you want it and actually allowing yourself

708
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:57.120
to enjoy you wanting something as opposed to, as opposed to our default, which has been to fear

709
00:47:57.120 --> 00:48:02.400
what we want. In other words, fear that we're wanting something we've become afraid of that,

710
00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:08.880
that feeling that will rise up within us of desire or want or whatever. And we have to learn to enjoy

711
00:48:08.880 --> 00:48:15.440
it. And that's weird. So standing in the store, I'd have to learn to enjoy the excitement of the

712
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:22.080
fact that I have found something I wanted and I am going to let myself buy it as if it was this

713
00:48:22.080 --> 00:48:27.040
Christmas gift that I've always wanted to be able to have. And then someone was coming along

714
00:48:27.040 --> 00:48:32.720
and buying it for me. That is how I would do it. I was always choosing that God was buying it for me.

715
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:39.520
Like God is honoring. He's looking at the desire in my heart and he's honoring who it is that I am.

716
00:48:39.520 --> 00:48:43.920
And the fact that I want things for the reasons that I want them. In other words, I appreciate

717
00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:50.000
certain things that he's created in life. And I am. And so I would just, I would choose that that's

718
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.480
what I was doing and that's what was going on. And then I would honor that, that feeling of

719
00:48:54.480 --> 00:48:59.040
wanting me. And I would thoroughly enjoy the experience. I'm like, okay, I can't believe it.

720
00:48:59.040 --> 00:49:03.920
You know, the excitement that you feel whenever you have let yourself buy things and you feel

721
00:49:03.920 --> 00:49:07.680
like you have permission, whatever that excitement and that anticipation that, oh, this really is

722
00:49:07.680 --> 00:49:12.640
good. When you stop hindering yourself from thinking that it's. You stop hindering yourself

723
00:49:13.360 --> 00:49:18.400
and you stop thinking it's bad. It's that kind of a thing. It's like you fully immerse yourself in

724
00:49:18.400 --> 00:49:25.280
the experience and allow yourself to do it. And I, and, um, the word's not ignore that. I, I,

725
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:32.640
I do not come into agreement with any fear that creeps up that, but what if this is wrong?

726
00:49:32.640 --> 00:49:38.320
And am I going to have to bear a consequence? I'm choosing no Lord. The reason I'm buying this

727
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:44.080
thing is honestly not for the thing. I'm I, I do want the thing Lord, but the reason I'm buying

728
00:49:44.080 --> 00:49:48.240
this is because I'm choosing to come into agreement with the fact that I am who you say

729
00:49:48.240 --> 00:49:55.120
that I am. And therefore this is a way for me to act on it. And I believe that you would, that you

730
00:49:55.120 --> 00:49:59.840
in loving this want in me would like, uh, would like that.

731
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.000
And it's this desire that want to be fulfilled.

732
00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:05.000
This Lord is your goodness.

733
00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:06.000
This Lord, this is,

734
00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:09.000
this is you manifesting your goodness in my life.

735
00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:10.000
And that's what I would do.

736
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:13.000
And then, so the whole point is.

737
00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:15.000
Making a whole moment of it. In other words,

738
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:16.000
thoroughly enjoying the moment of it,

739
00:50:16.000 --> 00:50:19.000
thoroughly enjoying standing in line as opposed to rethinking and

740
00:50:19.000 --> 00:50:20.000
analyzing question.

741
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:23.000
Fully own the decision. You've already made it.

742
00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:35.000
And say, this is what I want to do.

743
00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:36.000
And fully own it,

744
00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:40.000
take responsibility for it and not responsibility is in like,

745
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:42.000
you're waiting for the gauntlet to come down,

746
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:45.000
but full responsibilities in like, no, I can make decisions.

747
00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:46.000
And these decisions are good.

748
00:50:46.000 --> 00:50:48.000
And then you buy it and whatever. And then you, then, you know,

749
00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:50.000
taking it home. You, again, you thoroughly own the decision.

750
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:52.000
So,

751
00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:53.000
and then you have, you know,

752
00:50:53.000 --> 00:50:55.000
you have to be fully aware of who you are,

753
00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.000
who God says you are, who God says you are.

754
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:00.000
Those are very powerful.

755
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:03.000
That those are powerful thresholds to cross that really,

756
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:05.000
honestly we'll start breaking things off.

757
00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:08.000
And that will help you get a bit more of a connection with who it is

758
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:09.000
that you are.

759
00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:11.000
But, you know, obviously will,

760
00:51:11.000 --> 00:51:13.000
before we go on to other stuff, like the.

761
00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:14.000
Other people.

762
00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:15.000
Does that all make sense?

763
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:21.000
Yeah.

764
00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:24.000
It's like, I totally get it that this is what I focus on,

765
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:26.000
but it's like, what does that practically look like? Yeah.

766
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.000
Yeah.

767
00:51:27.000 --> 00:51:28.000
Yeah. So that's really helpful.

768
00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:35.000
Also.

769
00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:37.000
I don't know if this will resonate with you at all.

770
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:40.000
I would imagine a way with how you've had to watch or eating or

771
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:41.000
whatever, but.

772
00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:43.000
You know, because of like, I don't remember what you said.

773
00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:45.000
I don't remember.

774
00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:52.000
I don't remember that I've had to watch.

775
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:53.000
Like a meal.

776
00:51:53.000 --> 00:51:55.000
One of the ways that I was step out on things is like,

777
00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:58.000
what is it that when I would go to a restaurant, what would I allow?

778
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:00.000
Myself to get more if I was making myself breakfast,

779
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:03.000
what do I want to eat?

780
00:52:03.000 --> 00:52:04.000
You know,

781
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:07.000
or do I want to take extra time and extra long time eating my

782
00:52:07.000 --> 00:52:09.000
breakfast this morning or whatever it was a little,

783
00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:10.000
it was things like that.

784
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:12.000
I would just practice doing it. And, but again,

785
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:14.000
the whole point isn't just acting on it.

786
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:18.000
It's thoroughly owning the decision and enjoying the acting on it.

787
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:20.000
As opposed to being afraid the whole time.

788
00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:21.000
Wondering, you know, if, if,

789
00:52:21.000 --> 00:52:24.000
if something bad's going to happen because you've done it,

790
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:26.000
because that's why we've been avoiding it this whole time.

791
00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:29.000
We think that it's something bad's going to happen if we follow

792
00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:30.000
through.

793
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.000
So this time we have to follow through with it.

794
00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:35.000
And not believe that something bad is going to happen,

795
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:38.000
that God's going to be upset or whatever, because again,

796
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:40.000
We're trying to do is we're trying to learn how to act more and more

797
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:42.000
according to his character.

798
00:52:42.000 --> 00:52:43.000
Right.

799
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:44.000
Not.

800
00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:48.000
Not to just live LaVita Loka and however we want to.

801
00:52:48.000 --> 00:52:52.000
We are wanting to know, Lord, how do I, how.

802
00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:55.000
Who are you and how do I live like your son?

803
00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:58.000
How do I live powerfully like your son?

804
00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:01.000
As a king on the earth, having dominion.

805
00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:02.000
By,

806
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:07.000
By being a loving king that sacrifices for his kingdom.

807
00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:09.000
That sacrifices for creation.

808
00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:13.000
So you have to know who you are and you have to show up.

809
00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:16.000
So you have to like reconnect with yourself so that you can actually be

810
00:53:16.000 --> 00:53:17.000
a strong enough game.

811
00:53:17.000 --> 00:53:19.000
To be able to sacrifice yourself.

812
00:53:19.000 --> 00:53:20.000
Meaning like, you know,

813
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:22.000
You know what I mean by sacrifice.

814
00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:26.000
So, but anyway, it, so that's,

815
00:53:26.000 --> 00:53:29.000
those are some things that I did trying to figure out what else also I

816
00:53:29.000 --> 00:53:32.000
told the Lord, I began to grow in things like, Lord,

817
00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:34.000
this is what I really want to do for business.

818
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:38.000
And I am telling you what I thought so hard again,

819
00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:39.000
this is before he taught me about rest.

820
00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:43.000
I thought so hard to make things work.

821
00:53:43.000 --> 00:53:48.000
And I worked for at least.

822
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:53.000
I literally worked for 11 months before I got my first.

823
00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:56.000
Like legitimate paycheck. I mean,

824
00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:59.000
I've gotten some in the summer for some like marketing that I did that I,

825
00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:01.000
and that was something I tried not just.

826
00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:03.000
Failed.

827
00:54:03.000 --> 00:54:07.000
But it wasn't until like December of the following year,

828
00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:12.000
December, 2019, that I got my first paycheck.

829
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:16.000
For something that I really wanted to do.

830
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:17.000
Because all of the other stuff,

831
00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:20.000
even the marketing stuff wasn't something that I wanted to do.

832
00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:22.000
Sorry, I'm moving the pillow down here.

833
00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:24.000
So I don't have to have it on my lap.

834
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:25.000
I don't have to have it on my lap.

835
00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:27.000
But all of the other stuff that I had to do.

836
00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:29.000
Was something that.

837
00:54:29.000 --> 00:54:39.000
The marketing wasn't something I wanted to do.

838
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:43.000
It was just to help kind of like give me money until I,

839
00:54:43.000 --> 00:54:46.000
while I could, while I work to make the other stuff work.

840
00:54:46.000 --> 00:54:47.000
Which was things like,

841
00:54:47.000 --> 00:54:50.000
I think it was like doing a life coaching or something like that.

842
00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:52.000
That's what I did in the beginning. And then.

843
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:54.000
I think it was, I think it was,

844
00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:57.000
I think it was like doing a life coach kind of a thing.

845
00:54:57.000 --> 00:55:00.000
And in December and so anyway, it took a long time,

846
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.560
I had all kinds of things and the Lord took care of me provided for me.

847
00:55:04.560 --> 00:55:08.400
I, I made some really big decisions of like, okay, I'm going to risk this.

848
00:55:08.400 --> 00:55:10.520
And I'm going to try this and I'm going to buy this course.

849
00:55:10.520 --> 00:55:12.800
And I'm going to do this and I'm going to throw myself into this.

850
00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:16.120
And I'm going to like, I just, I worked.

851
00:55:17.040 --> 00:55:21.680
I don't know, between 10 to 14 hours every day, you know, just

852
00:55:21.680 --> 00:55:23.840
trying to get things work to work.

853
00:55:23.880 --> 00:55:25.280
And it took like 12 months.

854
00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:26.760
I was emotionally exhausted.

855
00:55:26.760 --> 00:55:29.120
And during all of this time, of course, you know, the Lord is stretching

856
00:55:29.120 --> 00:55:32.120
you spiritually and learning things about my identity, et cetera.

857
00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:39.200
And so the thing is that my, my point in telling you that is I was just.

858
00:55:39.760 --> 00:55:43.080
During that time I was, I didn't know how to do it and rest.

859
00:55:43.520 --> 00:55:48.680
And for half of that time, I didn't know to do it because God loved me, but I just

860
00:55:48.680 --> 00:55:50.680
knew that the way that I was living wasn't working.

861
00:55:50.680 --> 00:55:55.880
And so I thought, okay, how can I actually act on what it is that I want to do?

862
00:55:56.120 --> 00:55:59.320
So I began to try to connect in a variety of ways.

863
00:55:59.360 --> 00:56:04.920
And so my point is that I, that I, that I don't believe that your journey

864
00:56:04.920 --> 00:56:07.920
is going to be like that because mine was from a desperate place of not

865
00:56:07.920 --> 00:56:09.720
believing that God loved me, et cetera.

866
00:56:10.080 --> 00:56:15.360
But the point, my, my point telling you all that is even when I was in that type

867
00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:18.680
of a situation where I didn't believe that God loved me, he still took care of me.

868
00:56:19.400 --> 00:56:26.240
I was, I was trying so very desperately to pursue where is he and, and is there

869
00:56:26.240 --> 00:56:29.240
something good in me and does he like me?

870
00:56:29.240 --> 00:56:33.040
And can I actually live life doing things that I want to do?

871
00:56:33.400 --> 00:56:38.920
And he lovingly protected me and safeguarded me during that time where I

872
00:56:38.920 --> 00:56:44.360
wasn't in agreement with the fact that he loved me and he still protected me.

873
00:56:44.360 --> 00:56:49.920
So it's that much of a precious thing to him to be, it's like a non-believer

874
00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:56.920
trying to claim something for themselves because simply because God is good.

875
00:56:57.200 --> 00:57:01.880
Even if they don't know to call it God, they just believe surely I can live like

876
00:57:01.880 --> 00:57:03.880
this and that's just how they frame it for themselves.

877
00:57:03.880 --> 00:57:05.680
Surely I can live.

878
00:57:05.680 --> 00:57:06.520
Well, I mean, why not?

879
00:57:06.520 --> 00:57:07.840
Why, why can't I live like that?

880
00:57:07.920 --> 00:57:10.360
I mean, nobody else is telling me I can't and there's no God.

881
00:57:10.360 --> 00:57:14.080
So therefore, you know, I can, I can do whatever it is that I want.

882
00:57:14.080 --> 00:57:17.040
And the heck with everybody else who says that I can't and

883
00:57:17.040 --> 00:57:19.520
God lets those people succeed.

884
00:57:19.800 --> 00:57:24.640
And he talked, Moses talked to the Israelites about that and said, Hey,

885
00:57:24.640 --> 00:57:29.320
look, the Moabites and the Amorites and the Edomites, they are not God's chosen.

886
00:57:29.560 --> 00:57:34.280
And yet they all conquered the same people that your forefathers felt that

887
00:57:34.280 --> 00:57:39.960
they couldn't conquer, even though God gave them an, a, an exact promise for it.

888
00:57:40.480 --> 00:57:43.720
And God gave them the land.

889
00:57:43.920 --> 00:57:46.920
So there was a way in which, even though they didn't know to call it God, they're

890
00:57:46.920 --> 00:57:49.120
like, well, why can't we, why can't we conquer them?

891
00:57:49.960 --> 00:57:55.040
So my point is that if God can do that for people who are non-believers or

892
00:57:55.040 --> 00:57:58.680
for people who aren't believing that he's good and that he loves them, it's

893
00:57:58.680 --> 00:58:03.800
much, it's much more blessed and protected.

894
00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:07.720
If he could protect me in that situation where I was, I don't want to say I was

895
00:58:07.720 --> 00:58:11.800
in rebellion against the Lord, but I kind of was, I was mad at him and I didn't

896
00:58:11.800 --> 00:58:12.520
feel he was safe.

897
00:58:12.520 --> 00:58:14.800
And so I felt a little isolated and abandoned alone.

898
00:58:15.120 --> 00:58:21.360
And if he could, if he could safeguard me while and protect me and provide me a

899
00:58:21.360 --> 00:58:25.600
safe environment to make mistakes when I was in that situation, how much more so.

900
00:58:26.120 --> 00:58:30.800
When you're trying to step out now, believing that he loves you and whatever

901
00:58:30.800 --> 00:58:34.560
now choosing that, okay, the reason I'm doing this is because he says he loves me.

902
00:58:34.840 --> 00:58:36.760
So Lord, will you teach me who I am?

903
00:58:36.840 --> 00:58:40.680
Because I have to know who I am in order to be that King.

904
00:58:41.320 --> 00:58:42.120
Who is that King?

905
00:58:43.040 --> 00:58:47.280
And what is she, what does she want and what aspects of, of her are in

906
00:58:47.280 --> 00:58:48.800
heaven that need to be brought to earth.

907
00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:50.480
I need to connect with that.

908
00:58:51.240 --> 00:58:54.440
And so anyway, he loves and honors that fact.

909
00:58:54.440 --> 00:58:57.480
And so we can just kind of like, just rely on that and choose that.

910
00:58:57.480 --> 00:58:59.800
Hey, this thing that I did or this thing that I bought or this

911
00:58:59.800 --> 00:59:01.400
decision that I made is a good thing.

912
00:59:01.880 --> 00:59:04.320
But yeah, I would do that even for business and God.

913
00:59:04.680 --> 00:59:05.520
God protected me.

914
00:59:05.560 --> 00:59:06.080
Oh my word.

915
00:59:06.080 --> 00:59:10.360
I had so many failings and it was so hard, but what it is that I learned

916
00:59:10.880 --> 00:59:16.320
through it was that was I learned who he was and that's really what it was all about.

917
00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:17.880
It wasn't about succeeding.

918
00:59:18.200 --> 00:59:19.880
It was about learning who he is.

919
00:59:20.160 --> 00:59:23.120
And, and so that I definitely, I definitely did.

920
00:59:23.560 --> 00:59:28.040
And then of course there's stuff like with relationships, you know, where

921
00:59:28.360 --> 00:59:33.840
you're, and the thing that I did is to help myself own myself.

922
00:59:33.840 --> 00:59:40.560
My decisions was, I stopped analyzing, you know, by analyzing replaying,

923
00:59:41.240 --> 00:59:44.840
you know and and then I stopped.

924
00:59:45.800 --> 00:59:51.240
I stopped believing that I was, I stopped emotionally requiring

925
00:59:51.520 --> 00:59:56.840
something of myself when I would go into a situation like to stop.

926
00:59:56.840 --> 01:00:00.080
To stop claiming emotional.

927
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.800
Responsibility for everyone else.

928
01:00:02.160 --> 01:00:05.180
So that is a decision that I would make before I would go into

929
01:00:05.180 --> 01:00:09.280
situations is before I would like go home for the holidays, or I would go.

930
01:00:10.020 --> 01:00:13.460
See him for like a Sunday dinner or something is I would choose.

931
01:00:13.460 --> 01:00:13.860
Okay.

932
01:00:14.300 --> 01:00:15.660
They don't belong to me.

933
01:00:15.940 --> 01:00:18.020
God doesn't hold me responsible for them.

934
01:00:18.640 --> 01:00:24.360
And he also knows that I'm in a time in which I'm trying to connect with me.

935
01:00:24.800 --> 01:00:29.460
And then I can't hear me if I'm always outwardly focused on how is everybody

936
01:00:29.460 --> 01:00:31.580
else and how are my interactions with everyone else?

937
01:00:32.120 --> 01:00:38.940
So he, um, so I just, again, I chose God and learning who it is that he was

938
01:00:38.940 --> 01:00:44.300
and who the, I am in relationship with him over how situations would turn out.

939
01:00:45.440 --> 01:00:48.220
Like if I'm going to like a Sunday dinner or whatever, I'm like, okay,

940
01:00:48.220 --> 01:00:50.240
no, I choose as my higher priority.

941
01:00:50.240 --> 01:00:54.820
And the thing that is most important to me of, of developing who it is that I

942
01:00:54.820 --> 01:00:58.020
am with the Lord and developing my understanding of who it is that I am

943
01:00:58.020 --> 01:01:06.600
with the Lord over, um, over protecting myself from, from, uh, over ensuring a

944
01:01:06.600 --> 01:01:12.960
particular outcome or protecting myself from, from what other people could think

945
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:21.000
about me or how something could fall out or what God even would, um, how would

946
01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:28.760
you pick that or, or that, or what God even would expect from me related to the

947
01:01:28.760 --> 01:01:29.480
situation.

948
01:01:30.680 --> 01:01:34.120
And, and I know that that sounds weird and it sounds like the opposite of what I

949
01:01:34.120 --> 01:01:38.520
was saying, but that's because what we think of when we're approaching our

950
01:01:38.520 --> 01:01:43.360
situations with other people is we we've done it from an incorrect foundation.

951
01:01:43.360 --> 01:01:46.160
We've done it from this perspective that we believe that God's holding us

952
01:01:46.160 --> 01:01:48.960
accountable for things that he's actually not holding us accountable for.

953
01:01:49.600 --> 01:01:53.600
So even though it sounds like we're saying, oh, I'm going to be, I'm going to

954
01:01:53.600 --> 01:01:56.880
choose, you know, to learn about God over being obedient.

955
01:01:57.360 --> 01:02:01.720
It's actually not because all we're trying to do is to break our, our old

956
01:02:01.760 --> 01:02:09.320
approach of honoring him and obeying him from this, from, um, our, our incorrect

957
01:02:09.320 --> 01:02:13.240
view that we are being held accountable for something that God says he doesn't

958
01:02:13.240 --> 01:02:14.400
hold us accountable for.

959
01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:16.840
And yet we don't understand how that's true.

960
01:02:17.240 --> 01:02:21.880
So in our minds, it feels basically like we're violating our own.

961
01:02:22.760 --> 01:02:26.840
Uh, self-made religion is what it feels like we're doing.

962
01:02:27.200 --> 01:02:27.400
Yeah.

963
01:02:27.400 --> 01:02:32.840
So, so yeah, so that's what I would do, even though it feels like that self-made

964
01:02:32.840 --> 01:02:35.080
religion is actually what God has told us to do.

965
01:02:35.800 --> 01:02:41.280
I would abandon that and choose this new thing that God was inviting me into that

966
01:02:41.280 --> 01:02:45.920
felt vague, even though this was specific and I could grab a hold of this better

967
01:02:45.920 --> 01:02:49.800
because I'd practiced this had rules, this had structure, this had expectations

968
01:02:49.800 --> 01:02:51.200
and I was doggone good at it.

969
01:02:52.120 --> 01:02:55.160
And so, but there's this whole vague thing that he's inviting me into.

970
01:02:55.160 --> 01:02:59.560
And I can't seem to move into that while I'm still holding onto this.

971
01:02:59.560 --> 01:03:03.480
I can't seem to make a balance to make an easy transition.

972
01:03:03.480 --> 01:03:06.000
So what I did is I just toast this and thought, well, let the

973
01:03:06.000 --> 01:03:07.240
chips fall that where they may.

974
01:03:07.600 --> 01:03:11.320
But by doing that, remember you're a son of God.

975
01:03:11.440 --> 01:03:15.240
So you're always going to, if you approach every situation like that,

976
01:03:15.560 --> 01:03:19.000
owning yourself and knowing who it is that you are, you're less likely to

977
01:03:19.000 --> 01:03:23.760
operate out of your soul, you know, and out of like being selfish and all of

978
01:03:23.760 --> 01:03:27.800
those things, but even if you do, it's okay, because remember you've chosen this

979
01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:33.400
over this, and so God will provide you a protective environment in order for

980
01:03:33.400 --> 01:03:38.240
things to, um, you do not have to bear the heavy consequences of maybe something

981
01:03:38.280 --> 01:03:39.320
that you've actually done.

982
01:03:39.400 --> 01:03:42.760
He'll like, he'll, he'll take care of things because he knows

983
01:03:42.760 --> 01:03:44.360
the reason why you're doing it.

984
01:03:44.360 --> 01:03:47.920
You're trying to choose something that you don't really know what that thing is.

985
01:03:48.400 --> 01:03:50.160
And this is the best way you know how to do it.

986
01:03:50.560 --> 01:03:55.040
And so even, so if like, like, like what we've been talking about, if people

987
01:03:55.040 --> 01:03:59.760
could learn some of this stuff in high school and they could be as messy as we

988
01:03:59.760 --> 01:04:04.800
know from the outside that they all look to be, and we all just allow them to be

989
01:04:05.560 --> 01:04:08.360
and just know, Hey, look, we've had that time too.

990
01:04:08.360 --> 01:04:10.520
It's just partly how you figure it all out.

991
01:04:10.720 --> 01:04:12.720
Why can't we do it now?

992
01:04:13.040 --> 01:04:17.640
Because in the spirit, that's what we, sometimes we have to do in order to kind

993
01:04:17.640 --> 01:04:22.520
of like figure things out and be able to move forward, um, and be able to leave

994
01:04:22.520 --> 01:04:27.520
behind the childish things and be able to move on into adulthood, but it feels

995
01:04:27.520 --> 01:04:30.840
risky because we're like on my word, I'm risking, I'm missing relationship.

996
01:04:31.680 --> 01:04:35.000
Risking relationships with, with other people, et cetera.

997
01:04:35.360 --> 01:04:40.200
But the other, you know, like what I was saying, it's, um, that's coming from

998
01:04:40.200 --> 01:04:44.840
this belief that we're naturally bad and that we're naturally going to make the

999
01:04:44.840 --> 01:04:48.160
wrong decision and that we're naturally going to be soulless and we're naturally

1000
01:04:48.160 --> 01:04:50.800
going to be selfish and we're naturally going to do it wrong.

1001
01:04:51.760 --> 01:04:56.640
And that's approaching it from this expectation that we are going to mess up

1002
01:04:56.920 --> 01:04:59.760
as opposed to approaching situations in.

1003
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.000
You know,

1004
01:05:01.000 --> 01:05:02.000
you don't have time to prepare for it.

1005
01:05:02.000 --> 01:05:03.000
So how are you going to act?

1006
01:05:03.000 --> 01:05:04.000
What are you, what are you going to do?

1007
01:05:04.000 --> 01:05:05.000
How are you going to respond?

1008
01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:07.000
And the more that you choose that you are,

1009
01:05:07.000 --> 01:05:10.000
who God says that you are and just do your best to operate from that

1010
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:11.000
place.

1011
01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:13.000
Then the Lord knows what it is that you're trying to do.

1012
01:05:13.000 --> 01:05:15.000
And then he, he helps you take, he helps.

1013
01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:17.000
Take care of the situation.

1014
01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:20.000
And then a lot of it is you just,

1015
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:24.000
is you really are bringing life into the situation more than you used to

1016
01:05:24.000 --> 01:05:26.000
because you're not bringing in rules and soul and.

1017
01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:28.000
Rules that we're supposed to follow, et cetera. You're bringing.

1018
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:30.000
You're bringing life. You're bringing genuineness.

1019
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:32.000
You're bringing sincerity. You're really, truly bringing who it is that

1020
01:05:32.000 --> 01:05:33.000
you are.

1021
01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:35.000
And then the more that you choose that you are,

1022
01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:37.000
who God says that you are and just do your best to operate from that

1023
01:05:37.000 --> 01:05:38.000
place.

1024
01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:40.000
Then the Lord knows what it is that you're trying to do.

1025
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:42.000
And then he, he helps you take, he helps.

1026
01:05:42.000 --> 01:05:43.000
Take care of the situation.

1027
01:05:43.000 --> 01:05:45.000
And, and then a lot of it is you just,

1028
01:05:46.000 --> 01:05:47.000
You know,

1029
01:05:47.000 --> 01:05:50.000
you're bringing life into the situation more than you used to because

1030
01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:53.000
you're not bringing in rules and soul and soul and soul and soul,

1031
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:55.000
but you're really, truly bringing who it is that you are.

1032
01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:57.000
And you're still in process of trying to figure out who that is.

1033
01:05:57.000 --> 01:06:00.000
But you can't know who that is if you keep hiding it.

1034
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:01.000
Not even allowing yourself to see it.

1035
01:06:01.000 --> 01:06:03.000
Alone, bring it to other people. So.

1036
01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:05.000
Anyway, I'm fully aware that it's.

1037
01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:08.000
That risky. I'm fully aware that it's that hard.

1038
01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:09.000
And I'm just telling you,

1039
01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:13.000
I did it and I keep having to do it at different times with different

1040
01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:14.000
people.

1041
01:06:14.000 --> 01:06:16.000
And sometimes I don't do it and then, but you know,

1042
01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:19.000
you just keep picking yourself up and trying again.

1043
01:06:19.000 --> 01:06:22.000
So anyway, I just want to let you know that these things, you know,

1044
01:06:22.000 --> 01:06:25.000
I don't mean any of them to sound like, Oh, you're just easy.

1045
01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:28.000
No, they have to do with people's relate with our relationships with

1046
01:06:28.000 --> 01:06:29.000
people.

1047
01:06:29.000 --> 01:06:31.000
They have to do with stuff that's a very emotionally deep within us.

1048
01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:33.000
And that being as it is.

1049
01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:35.000
I just made the decision that I did.

1050
01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:37.000
And I gained all of the freedom.

1051
01:06:37.000 --> 01:06:40.000
Because, you know, and I just, and I just, I don't know.

1052
01:06:41.000 --> 01:06:43.000
I'm grew in the Lord as a result.

1053
01:06:43.000 --> 01:06:45.000
And cause I chose him over my relationships.

1054
01:06:45.000 --> 01:06:47.000
And then over time, you know,

1055
01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:50.000
God has worked on my relationships as well and they've gained more

1056
01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:51.000
respect for me.

1057
01:06:51.000 --> 01:06:52.000
And I'm able to handle them.

1058
01:06:52.000 --> 01:06:55.000
Those people better, especially more toxic relationships.

1059
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:59.000
Because I now own myself between me and the Lord.

1060
01:06:59.000 --> 01:07:00.000
Yeah.

1061
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:01.000
Yeah.

1062
01:07:01.000 --> 01:07:02.000
But anyway, so.

1063
01:07:02.000 --> 01:07:03.000
That's super helpful.

1064
01:07:04.000 --> 01:07:08.000
That gives me a lot of like hope and then also things I can start

1065
01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:09.000
implementing.

1066
01:07:09.000 --> 01:07:11.000
That's going to kind of build that muscle.

1067
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:14.000
So, cause I, that's what I was feeling.

1068
01:07:14.000 --> 01:07:17.000
Like there's something about this.

1069
01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:19.000
There's like this strengthening that needs to take place.

1070
01:07:19.000 --> 01:07:22.000
And I wasn't quite sure how to like, how to do that. So that was great.

1071
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:24.000
That's exactly what I needed.

1072
01:07:24.000 --> 01:07:25.000
Yeah.

1073
01:07:26.000 --> 01:07:29.000
Yeah. So I'm glad. And I know.

1074
01:07:29.000 --> 01:07:31.000
I'm sorry, you'll be going into a situation where you feel like,

1075
01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:32.000
Oh my word.

1076
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:33.000
It's like,

1077
01:07:33.000 --> 01:07:35.000
Do I have to learn this like in the fire?

1078
01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:36.000
Could we.

1079
01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:42.000
Learned it before.

1080
01:07:42.000 --> 01:07:44.000
And so you just kind of do what it is that you can,

1081
01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:46.000
because like you're saying it's a muscle that needs to be

1082
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:48.000
strengthened. So don't expect everything of yourself.

1083
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:50.000
Meaning like don't require it all of yourself.

1084
01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:51.000
Right.

1085
01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:54.000
Sometimes it is just easier to just go with the flow.

1086
01:07:54.000 --> 01:07:56.000
Like you used to have and just do that then.

1087
01:07:56.000 --> 01:07:58.000
And then other times you'll be like, I know, no, you know,

1088
01:07:58.000 --> 01:08:00.000
today or in this particular situation.

1089
01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:03.000
I can do it a bit different. So strengthen the muscle by don't,

1090
01:08:03.000 --> 01:08:05.000
don't tear the muscle by.

1091
01:08:05.000 --> 01:08:07.000
Don't lift a hundred pound weight. Yeah, exactly.

1092
01:08:07.000 --> 01:08:08.000
Yeah.

1093
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:09.000
Yeah.

1094
01:08:09.000 --> 01:08:12.000
Because the whole point is you're not trying to hurt anybody.

1095
01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:13.000
You're not trying to be difficult.

1096
01:08:14.000 --> 01:08:16.000
You're trying to connect with who it is that you are.

1097
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:18.000
Because you're choosing God over your lifestyle.

1098
01:08:18.000 --> 01:08:20.000
You're choosing God over your relationships.

1099
01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:23.000
We can say that all that we want to, but when it comes down to brass

1100
01:08:23.000 --> 01:08:25.000
tacks, it means that we actually have to do it.

1101
01:08:25.000 --> 01:08:27.000
We have to live life differently than we're living it.

1102
01:08:27.000 --> 01:08:28.000
Right.

1103
01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:29.000
So.

1104
01:08:29.000 --> 01:08:31.000
That that's going to require different.

1105
01:08:32.000 --> 01:08:35.000
Results of our actions and different responses as well.

1106
01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:38.000
But anyway, so that's good. I mean, desire is huge.

1107
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:40.000
A huge part of this, because I think that's the thing.

1108
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:41.000
It's like, I don't even know what I want.

1109
01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:42.000
Yeah.

1110
01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:43.000
That's where you feel so.

1111
01:08:43.000 --> 01:08:45.000
Fuzzy.

1112
01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:47.000
Cause it's like, so I think as you were talking,

1113
01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:52.000
One of the things that felt clear to me was this isn't me sitting down

1114
01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:54.000
and like journaling. What do I want?

1115
01:08:54.000 --> 01:08:57.000
I think it's actually being in a situation where like the rubber meets

1116
01:08:57.000 --> 01:08:58.000
the road.

1117
01:08:58.000 --> 01:09:00.000
And like it coming to it coming.

1118
01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:02.000
It'd be like, hello, this is what you.

1119
01:09:02.000 --> 01:09:03.000
You know?

1120
01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:04.000
Correct.

1121
01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:07.000
I also thought of some other situations, like say for instance,

1122
01:09:07.000 --> 01:09:08.000
if y'all are with.

1123
01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:11.000
I don't know if you're like this, but with me, whenever there's,

1124
01:09:11.000 --> 01:09:13.000
I'm with a whole bunch of people, like, especially as a family or

1125
01:09:13.000 --> 01:09:15.000
whatever, I feel like I always have to be with them.

1126
01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:18.000
Yeah. So I make a decision to choose. No,

1127
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:19.000
I'm going to go take a walk.

1128
01:09:19.000 --> 01:09:20.000
Yeah.

1129
01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:21.000
And I want to take it right now.

1130
01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:22.000
Because I want to.

1131
01:09:22.000 --> 01:09:23.000
Right.

1132
01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:25.000
And I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.

1133
01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:27.000
Because that's going to give me something to do.

1134
01:09:27.000 --> 01:09:29.000
I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.

1135
01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:30.000
I'm going to go take a walk.

1136
01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:31.000
And I want to take it right now.

1137
01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:32.000
Because I want to.

1138
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:33.000
Right.

1139
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:35.000
And I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.

1140
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:36.000
I'm going to go take a walk.

1141
01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:38.000
And I'm not going to use the baby as an excuse.

1142
01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:41.000
Because that's going to give me something to disassociate from my.

1143
01:09:41.000 --> 01:09:42.000
Exactly.

1144
01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:48.000
From myself.

1145
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:50.000
I'm going to do it because I want you to somebody asked me,

1146
01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:52.000
well, I'll give them, that is the reason.

1147
01:09:52.000 --> 01:09:54.000
Or, and I'll just go do it on my own.

1148
01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:55.000
Whatever.

1149
01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:57.000
It's things like that. You're not trying to be difficult.

1150
01:09:58.000 --> 01:09:59.000
I'm going to go take a walk.

1151
01:09:59.000 --> 01:10:00.000
I'm going to go take a walk.

1152
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.080
times. Yeah. We don't get to have everything that we want, but you and I are old enough to know that

1153
01:10:06.080 --> 01:10:09.680
right. We don't have that problem. We have the opposite problem. Exactly.

1154
01:10:10.320 --> 01:10:12.640
I'm sorry. The guardrails are already in place.

1155
01:10:15.120 --> 01:10:19.120
So this is just kind of, so this is, you know, talking to somebody who's just kind of like,

1156
01:10:19.120 --> 01:10:25.600
okay, just pick something sometime that you know, would be powerful for you and just do the thing,

1157
01:10:26.240 --> 01:10:30.720
you know, and this do it. And the reason that you're doing it is you're doing it because you

1158
01:10:30.720 --> 01:10:36.080
want to not because it's practical. So in other words, sometimes what I would do is I was

1159
01:10:36.080 --> 01:10:41.840
intentionally picking things that I wanted to do that. I felt that I shouldn't like eating,

1160
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:47.520
I don't know, extra peanut butter eating second piece of cake or whatever is weird as that sounds.

1161
01:10:47.520 --> 01:10:56.160
And I had to always associate it with wanting something and doing it because I had made a

1162
01:10:56.160 --> 01:11:01.840
decision that I wanted it and that I was going to honor and give myself what I wanted. I had

1163
01:11:01.840 --> 01:11:08.560
to intentionally kind of like make that the moment as opposed to, oh, I just want it. And I'm just

1164
01:11:08.560 --> 01:11:13.840
gonna let myself have it. Well, no, that's very unhealthy. That's not connecting with oneself.

1165
01:11:13.840 --> 01:11:18.720
In fact, again, that's another, that's another method of disassociating with oneself is you have

1166
01:11:18.720 --> 01:11:22.960
to own your decision. Like, no, I'm not going to just like give in because I just can't help

1167
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:27.920
myself. And I just, you know, I've got just no discipline that that's, that's a disassociation

1168
01:11:27.920 --> 01:11:32.000
of oneself has to own the decision. No, this is what I want to do. And I'm making an intentional

1169
01:11:32.000 --> 01:11:37.200
decision that I am going to have the other piece of cake. Why? Because I could say no,

1170
01:11:37.200 --> 01:11:42.160
and I'm intentionally choosing. No, I want it. And I want to give myself something that I want.

1171
01:11:42.160 --> 01:11:49.520
I want to follow through on it and thoroughly enjoy the experience of owning life of, of doing

1172
01:11:49.520 --> 01:11:59.200
something. Oh, I didn't know progressive or, um, substantial and making a choice and moving,

1173
01:11:59.840 --> 01:12:06.240
making a very, a very, um, there's a word that I think feels like it keeps eluding me,

1174
01:12:06.240 --> 01:12:12.080
but a very weighty decision that will move things forward and meaning like.

1175
01:12:13.200 --> 01:12:17.280
My sense of will or whatever, you know, so I'm going to do the cake, or I'm going to

1176
01:12:17.280 --> 01:12:21.760
give myself a bit of reprieve from all of the people. And I'm going to go for a walk,

1177
01:12:21.760 --> 01:12:27.280
or I'm going to go take a nap that can really feel like a, like you're, uh, uh, I didn't know about

1178
01:12:27.280 --> 01:12:32.480
for you, but for me, that can really feel, um, uh, I can really feel guilt-ridden about that

1179
01:12:32.480 --> 01:12:37.760
is while everybody's talking, you know, for me to go up and, or just decide, I'm going to go

1180
01:12:37.760 --> 01:12:44.000
take a nap for an hour or two, just because, you know, and not give any reason like, oh,

1181
01:12:44.000 --> 01:12:48.960
I didn't sleep very good last night or whatever, anything that would like placate or make everybody

1182
01:12:48.960 --> 01:12:54.800
feel better about it. But just kind of like, you know, I, I feel like going to take a nap right

1183
01:12:54.800 --> 01:13:00.720
now. So I will sleep well later and I'll be back in two hours or whatever. So those are just like

1184
01:13:00.720 --> 01:13:05.760
powerful ways to kind of like own yourself and come into it. And like I said, come into agreement

1185
01:13:05.760 --> 01:13:12.000
that with the Lord, that, that you are, you're, you are being with a will that needs to learn

1186
01:13:12.000 --> 01:13:15.840
how to exert it. And so what you're doing is you're learning how to connect with it. You're

1187
01:13:15.840 --> 01:13:21.920
learning what it is you want, how to connect with it, and then how to, um, and then how to act on

1188
01:13:21.920 --> 01:13:29.680
it, how to be powerful enough in making a decision that you actually act on something. Um, and because

1189
01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:34.560
God's going to need that, it's going to need that in other areas. And so you're trying to,

1190
01:13:34.560 --> 01:13:42.720
you're learning how to do it in the palatable areas. That's really good. That's really,

1191
01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:47.600
I'm just, you got my, you got my wheels turning. So that's awesome. Like, that's what I needed. I

1192
01:13:47.600 --> 01:13:52.480
felt, I felt, I was just like, there was like this, I was kind of like stuck like, okay, I,

1193
01:13:52.480 --> 01:13:57.600
I know what I need to do. I don't know how to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And the Lord's working with

1194
01:13:57.600 --> 01:14:04.720
me on that to help people, um, to, to help give help, um, explain things from like, with like

1195
01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:08.720
practical examples of like, okay, this is what it looks like, because I have a tendency to be

1196
01:14:08.720 --> 01:14:13.680
able to see things in theory, but then struggle sometimes to show people, oh, this is what it

1197
01:14:13.680 --> 01:14:18.400
looks like practically. So a lot of times what the Lord will do is just have me use

1198
01:14:19.760 --> 01:14:23.440
personal examples of like, well, actually, how did you do that? I'm like, well, this is what I did.

1199
01:14:23.600 --> 01:14:30.240
So I just kind of had to try, I just like, well, I don't know, maybe this will work. And so I would

1200
01:14:30.240 --> 01:14:37.280
try it for myself and it would work anyway. So that's really awesome. Well, I'm, I mean, I'm,

1201
01:14:38.240 --> 01:14:46.800
I'm excited to report back. Yes, me too. I mean, me too. I'm excited to hear. So I hope it goes

1202
01:14:46.800 --> 01:14:51.840
good. And I'll be, I know, I know you'll be with family too. I'll be covering you in prayer and

1203
01:14:51.840 --> 01:14:59.760
thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I am, am excited and expectant. It'd be the first time.

1204
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.040
you know, since the, since the wedding. And so, um, it'll be, it'll be exciting because

1205
01:15:05.040 --> 01:15:12.720
then we will have had like another, another connection after that. Um, so that the wedding

1206
01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:18.320
won't be the last one. Y'all will have another one, you know, to be like another record,

1207
01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:22.560
like another, it's really good, you know, another whatever. So it'll be, it'll be really good.

1208
01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:29.280
So, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so are we, do we have in one more meeting tomorrow? Is that what

1209
01:15:30.000 --> 01:15:36.240
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Thursday night. Yeah. Okay. It's our last one. Perfect. Well,

1210
01:15:36.240 --> 01:15:40.800
I say it's our last one, but then it looks like we might just do, by the way, let me ask,

1211
01:15:40.800 --> 01:15:46.960
is it easier to just do, uh, I've been asking some people, is it easier to just do Thursday,

1212
01:15:46.960 --> 01:15:51.760
Sunday night, instead of changing it to Monday night, just simply because I don't know, it is

1213
01:15:51.760 --> 01:15:57.600
so, I don't know. Is it just, it's what everybody's had in their mind for six weeks. And so they've

1214
01:15:57.600 --> 01:16:00.880
already kind of like baked it into their schedule. You know, I just thought maybe

1215
01:16:00.880 --> 01:16:06.320
people would prefer a weekend night to not have anything on weekend nights. And so it'd be easier

1216
01:16:06.320 --> 01:16:11.200
to do it on like a Monday, but, um, I'm hearing for at least from some people that they would

1217
01:16:11.200 --> 01:16:16.160
prefer Sundays. Yeah. I don't even have a preference. Like it doesn't bother me to keep

1218
01:16:16.160 --> 01:16:20.720
it on a Sunday. Yeah. Okay. So it doesn't feel like a weekend night, you know? And I have like,

1219
01:16:20.720 --> 01:16:26.560
yeah. I mean, for me, like in my season of life right now, like there's not a huge differentiation

1220
01:16:26.560 --> 01:16:31.280
of weekdays and weekends. So that's why for me, for just a personal thing, I don't really

1221
01:16:32.080 --> 01:16:39.840
have a, like a strong opinion about it. Okay. Yeah. Me, me as well. Um, I'm just, I'm used to

1222
01:16:39.840 --> 01:16:45.760
historically thinking of like always preserving Saturdays and Sundays course the past few years,

1223
01:16:45.760 --> 01:16:53.920
though, like you, my week and weekends have been very, very fluid, but, um, uh, but anyway, I just,

1224
01:16:53.920 --> 01:16:59.920
because I was doing it Saturdays and, um, I mean, sorry, Sundays that I thought, well, maybe just

1225
01:16:59.920 --> 01:17:04.560
keeping it the same would just be easier. So I just wanted to check and make sure with everyone.

1226
01:17:04.560 --> 01:17:08.960
So I'm thinking maybe keeping it Sunday night strictly for the fact that that's what we've been

1227
01:17:08.960 --> 01:17:15.360
doing. And so if people don't have to remember, um, and change, they just keep, they just take

1228
01:17:15.360 --> 01:17:20.000
out Tuesdays, but they've got the other two that just stayed the same. Um, and then one of the

1229
01:17:20.000 --> 01:17:24.880
things that I would like to know that going forward is, well, if I do this going forward,

1230
01:17:24.880 --> 01:17:30.000
should I not do it on Sunday nights anymore? And will Monday nights be easier for most people?

1231
01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:35.120
That's what I just, so I was wondering if I should test it this time, but I find with Sundays,

1232
01:17:35.120 --> 01:17:40.160
so you need to, but anyway, that sounds like everybody else maybe is okay with Sunday.

1233
01:17:40.160 --> 01:17:45.440
Yeah. If everyone's good with it, I mean, okay. Makes sense to maybe keep it, but I, if you want

1234
01:17:45.440 --> 01:17:52.800
to try something new, it's also a safe group to try it. So really it's just, what do you want,

1235
01:17:52.800 --> 01:17:59.760
Ashley? I know. And I've thought about that and, and I thought, well, I really want to do it on

1236
01:17:59.760 --> 01:18:04.480
Mondays on Monday nights, but the feedback that I'm getting from people, not to mention the fact

1237
01:18:04.480 --> 01:18:09.680
that I thought I would, I'm somebody who loves consistency. Um, and I just thought, well, if we

1238
01:18:09.680 --> 01:18:14.400
just keep it on Sundays, it's, it's something that everybody's already, um, already in the

1239
01:18:14.400 --> 01:18:19.760
habit of for six weeks. So I thought maybe it would just be easiest for people to just keep,

1240
01:18:19.760 --> 01:18:27.280
um, habit. Um, um, I would do, I would do what you want because you're leading it.

1241
01:18:28.160 --> 01:18:34.880
So it's always what works, works the best for you. Yeah. Like same, same conversation with timing

1242
01:18:34.880 --> 01:18:41.120
and stuff too. It's like, do what works well for you. Yeah. And I think people will, I mean,

1243
01:18:41.120 --> 01:18:45.120
unless you've got like a majority of people who are like, I just can't make it on Mondays. Yeah.

1244
01:18:45.120 --> 01:18:51.200
Yeah. Correct. Yeah. So the reason I've avoided Mondays in the past is because it's the first

1245
01:18:51.200 --> 01:18:56.960
day back to school and a lot of, for a lot of people who have children, it's a really crazy

1246
01:18:58.000 --> 01:19:04.080
day because they're, they're out of, out of practice and schedule for, for two days.

1247
01:19:04.080 --> 01:19:06.800
And then all of a sudden they get back to Monday and they, they at least.

1248
01:19:07.760 --> 01:19:12.240
Parents have told me before, not parents in my group, but just like friends with one or whatever,

1249
01:19:12.240 --> 01:19:15.840
just, I've just historically noticed that everyone's trying to get back into the flow

1250
01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:20.080
on Mondays again. And all my money's at homework again, and they haven't had it for two days. And

1251
01:19:20.080 --> 01:19:26.880
so, um, anyway, so I don't have that reference point. I thought maybe Mondays would be challenging

1252
01:19:26.880 --> 01:19:31.600
for people, but, um, but I also didn't want to take away Sunday nights from people when I was

1253
01:19:31.600 --> 01:19:37.280
growing up Sunday nights for family nights. So, and then they eventually switched to Friday nights,

1254
01:19:37.280 --> 01:19:44.080
but, um, we always held our Fridays, Friday nights, Saturdays, and Sundays is very sacred.

1255
01:19:44.800 --> 01:19:49.600
And so I'm just in that habit. And, um, but otherwise, you know, my season of life right

1256
01:19:49.600 --> 01:19:55.440
now, Sunday nights are just fine, but, um, I just, I think partly I'm wanting to also

1257
01:19:55.440 --> 01:19:59.600
find, um, find little things that work so I can finally just keep it.

1258
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.960
stop having to make decisions.

1259
01:20:01.960 --> 01:20:04.260
So I thought, well, if I, you know,

1260
01:20:04.260 --> 01:20:06.180
am I going to have to make a decision about Monday later?

1261
01:20:06.180 --> 01:20:07.720
I'd rather just make it now.

1262
01:20:07.720 --> 01:20:08.640
Let me just make it.

1263
01:20:08.640 --> 01:20:10.280
Oh yeah, I wouldn't worry about that.

1264
01:20:10.280 --> 01:20:12.680
I feel like with these things,

1265
01:20:12.680 --> 01:20:17.680
they're like timing, dates, like that's ever changing.

1266
01:20:18.520 --> 01:20:20.480
Okay, okay, well that's helpful.

1267
01:20:20.480 --> 01:20:21.640
With each program,

1268
01:20:21.640 --> 01:20:23.840
cause your seasons of life will change.

1269
01:20:23.840 --> 01:20:24.880
Yeah, this is true.

1270
01:20:24.880 --> 01:20:27.080
Yeah, and so I wouldn't,

1271
01:20:27.080 --> 01:20:28.840
you're not locked into anything.

1272
01:20:28.880 --> 01:20:32.680
Like we've done Kingdom Messengers so many different ways,

1273
01:20:33.800 --> 01:20:37.600
timing wise, date wise, that I wouldn't even,

1274
01:20:37.600 --> 01:20:39.200
I wouldn't worry about that.

1275
01:20:39.200 --> 01:20:40.520
Okay, that's helpful.

1276
01:20:40.520 --> 01:20:41.360
Yeah.

1277
01:20:41.360 --> 01:20:42.880
Okay, well good.

1278
01:20:42.880 --> 01:20:45.440
Well, it was good to get to visit with you tonight.

1279
01:20:45.440 --> 01:20:47.200
Is there anything that I,

1280
01:20:47.200 --> 01:20:49.200
oh yeah, and sometime you owe me a Marco Polo

1281
01:20:49.200 --> 01:20:52.840
to tell me about like where, what you said that the-

1282
01:20:52.840 --> 01:20:54.280
Oh yeah, the preferred word.

1283
01:20:54.280 --> 01:20:56.200
Yeah, I think that you said that you were ready.

1284
01:20:56.200 --> 01:20:57.280
Now, if you're not ready, that's fine.

1285
01:20:57.480 --> 01:20:59.240
I am ready, yeah.

1286
01:20:59.240 --> 01:21:02.000
Yeah, it's, I mean, in summary,

1287
01:21:02.000 --> 01:21:05.080
it has to do with Tribe because we were about to like-

1288
01:21:05.080 --> 01:21:05.960
Really?

1289
01:21:05.960 --> 01:21:07.560
Well, the way we've built Tribe

1290
01:21:07.560 --> 01:21:09.600
has been like slow and steady.

1291
01:21:09.600 --> 01:21:11.040
We don't want to take on investors.

1292
01:21:11.040 --> 01:21:13.520
We just kind of have built as we could

1293
01:21:13.520 --> 01:21:16.200
and utilize clients, like as clients come in,

1294
01:21:16.200 --> 01:21:18.880
be able to like fund new features and things like that,

1295
01:21:18.880 --> 01:21:21.160
which is a very different way of funding

1296
01:21:21.160 --> 01:21:22.320
any type of software project.

1297
01:21:22.320 --> 01:21:24.240
Typically tech startups are like,

1298
01:21:24.240 --> 01:21:26.280
just raise a bunch of capital

1299
01:21:26.320 --> 01:21:27.960
and then kind of, you know,

1300
01:21:28.880 --> 01:21:30.200
blow the money and build this.

1301
01:21:30.200 --> 01:21:31.040
Yes, exactly, yeah.

1302
01:21:31.040 --> 01:21:32.600
But we, you know,

1303
01:21:32.600 --> 01:21:34.960
and Bruce has been a part of teams like that in the past.

1304
01:21:34.960 --> 01:21:36.760
It's not, there's nothing wrong with that,

1305
01:21:36.760 --> 01:21:39.600
but it's, he's like, I just feel like there's a better way.

1306
01:21:39.600 --> 01:21:41.160
And so, especially when you don't,

1307
01:21:41.160 --> 01:21:42.840
you're not interested in taking on investors,

1308
01:21:42.840 --> 01:21:43.760
which we weren't.

1309
01:21:43.760 --> 01:21:48.760
And so, because that just is its own admin thing situation.

1310
01:21:49.560 --> 01:21:51.600
And we felt like the Lord had given us some words

1311
01:21:51.600 --> 01:21:56.200
about like being intentional about like,

1312
01:21:57.120 --> 01:21:58.640
building our thing and not necessarily

1313
01:21:58.640 --> 01:21:59.920
building somebody else's thing,

1314
01:21:59.920 --> 01:22:01.800
which can easily happen when you take on investors

1315
01:22:01.800 --> 01:22:04.920
because you start a new application and things like that.

1316
01:22:04.920 --> 01:22:08.400
And so when, around that time that I was giving that word,

1317
01:22:08.400 --> 01:22:11.080
Bruce and I had had a conversation about, you know,

1318
01:22:11.080 --> 01:22:13.600
cause we just weren't taking on any,

1319
01:22:13.600 --> 01:22:15.040
there weren't more clients coming in.

1320
01:22:15.040 --> 01:22:17.120
So we could easily service the clients we have,

1321
01:22:17.120 --> 01:22:19.720
but as far as like building it and marketing it

1322
01:22:19.720 --> 01:22:20.560
and going big,

1323
01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:24.000
like it just didn't seem like it was financially appropriate

1324
01:22:24.000 --> 01:22:24.840
for us at the time.

1325
01:22:24.840 --> 01:22:26.640
We had already kind of stretched ourselves then

1326
01:22:26.640 --> 01:22:28.480
when it came to investing our own dollars

1327
01:22:28.480 --> 01:22:30.080
and getting things built.

1328
01:22:30.080 --> 01:22:32.560
And so we just had this conversation of like,

1329
01:22:32.560 --> 01:22:36.400
we're gonna like take a step back from tribe

1330
01:22:36.400 --> 01:22:39.160
and just put all of our efforts into Kingdom Messengers

1331
01:22:39.160 --> 01:22:41.840
cause that's actually at least generating revenue.

1332
01:22:41.840 --> 01:22:44.280
And like a day later,

1333
01:22:44.280 --> 01:22:45.560
and I don't remember the whole timeline,

1334
01:22:45.560 --> 01:22:47.640
but kind of a day later, I was like,

1335
01:22:47.640 --> 01:22:49.320
I remember just standing at my bathroom sink

1336
01:22:49.320 --> 01:22:50.840
and the Lord was like,

1337
01:22:50.840 --> 01:22:53.720
Kingdom Messengers is not a billion dollar idea.

1338
01:22:53.760 --> 01:22:55.920
And I was like, yeah, I know that.

1339
01:22:57.480 --> 01:23:00.000
I'm not trying to make it a billion dollar idea, Lord,

1340
01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:01.280
like duh.

1341
01:23:01.280 --> 01:23:02.120
And he just said, again,

1342
01:23:02.120 --> 01:23:03.760
he didn't even like respond to what I said.

1343
01:23:03.760 --> 01:23:04.600
He just said,

1344
01:23:04.600 --> 01:23:07.440
Kingdom Messengers is not a billion dollar idea.

1345
01:23:07.440 --> 01:23:11.920
And I just took a second and he was like,

1346
01:23:11.920 --> 01:23:13.240
but tribe is.

1347
01:23:14.520 --> 01:23:16.160
And, you know,

1348
01:23:16.160 --> 01:23:18.520
Bruce has had prophetic words over his life,

1349
01:23:18.520 --> 01:23:20.960
like since he was young about generating wealth

1350
01:23:20.960 --> 01:23:23.520
for kingdom initiatives and like having personal wealth

1351
01:23:24.360 --> 01:23:25.200
and all that stuff.

1352
01:23:25.200 --> 01:23:26.960
And I've attached myself to that, you know,

1353
01:23:26.960 --> 01:23:28.840
as someone with him

1354
01:23:28.840 --> 01:23:30.520
and definitely like take it on for myself.

1355
01:23:30.520 --> 01:23:31.920
It's definitely been a barrier for me,

1356
01:23:31.920 --> 01:23:34.720
just even some things we mentioned on earlier call,

1357
01:23:34.720 --> 01:23:37.160
but just to own that identity of like, Lord, okay,

1358
01:23:37.160 --> 01:23:39.240
we're gonna do something

1359
01:23:39.240 --> 01:23:42.040
that's like a billion dollar something.

1360
01:23:42.040 --> 01:23:46.880
And I think the Lord wanted my yes in that.

1361
01:23:46.880 --> 01:23:48.440
And so I told Bruce the next day,

1362
01:23:48.440 --> 01:23:49.400
like I didn't even tell him that night,

1363
01:23:49.400 --> 01:23:50.240
cause I was like,

1364
01:23:50.240 --> 01:23:51.600
I just need to like sit with that for a second.

1365
01:23:51.600 --> 01:23:53.360
I said, you know, I had this conversation with the Lord,

1366
01:23:54.200 --> 01:23:55.040
I told him what it was.

1367
01:23:55.040 --> 01:23:56.280
And I was like, I don't know what that looks like.

1368
01:23:56.280 --> 01:23:57.280
I know we've made this conversation.

1369
01:23:57.280 --> 01:23:58.880
I know we've made this decision about tribe.

1370
01:23:58.880 --> 01:23:59.720
I mean, he had already,

1371
01:23:59.720 --> 01:24:02.160
he had had a meeting with our developers

1372
01:24:02.160 --> 01:24:03.520
just to let them know,

1373
01:24:03.520 --> 01:24:04.800
cause everyone's a contractor.

1374
01:24:04.800 --> 01:24:06.360
So it's not like salaries were cut,

1375
01:24:06.360 --> 01:24:09.200
but he wanted to give them a trajectory of like,

1376
01:24:09.200 --> 01:24:10.880
this is what to expect over the next couple of months

1377
01:24:10.880 --> 01:24:12.080
so that they weren't blindsided.

1378
01:24:12.080 --> 01:24:15.400
Like he had that conversation, very well organized.

1379
01:24:15.400 --> 01:24:20.400
And anyway, longer story made a little bit short.

1380
01:24:20.680 --> 01:24:22.240
Pedro had reached out to him.

1381
01:24:22.280 --> 01:24:24.240
Now this is kind of like almost comical

1382
01:24:24.240 --> 01:24:27.640
because we've been talking to Pedro for like two years

1383
01:24:27.640 --> 01:24:31.280
about like just conversations kind of off and on

1384
01:24:31.280 --> 01:24:33.520
about software, like things that he would, you know,

1385
01:24:33.520 --> 01:24:34.800
cause he's been stuck with like, you know,

1386
01:24:34.800 --> 01:24:37.680
all the things that people deal with,

1387
01:24:37.680 --> 01:24:40.560
like Facebook shuts down things or like things change.

1388
01:24:40.560 --> 01:24:43.200
And so he reached out to Bruce and like,

1389
01:24:43.200 --> 01:24:44.040
do you know anything?

1390
01:24:44.040 --> 01:24:45.600
So he had given him some initial things

1391
01:24:45.600 --> 01:24:47.360
like you could try Mighty Networks or, you know,

1392
01:24:47.360 --> 01:24:49.040
just kind of, you know, what could you,

1393
01:24:49.040 --> 01:24:50.800
so this has been a conversation we're having two years

1394
01:24:50.800 --> 01:24:54.000
and it kind of always came down to this like moment of like,

1395
01:24:54.000 --> 01:24:55.720
hey, we should maybe do something.

1396
01:24:55.720 --> 01:24:57.680
Like we should utilize you, but it never,

1397
01:24:57.680 --> 01:25:00.200
and Pedro's just, he's not a tech guy.

1398
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.880
I, so it's a big thing to kind of cross.

1399
01:25:03.260 --> 01:25:08.280
So even up till, I think it was December of last year.

1400
01:25:08.300 --> 01:25:11.880
Like, I mean, Bruce probably spent a month with having all these like

1401
01:25:11.880 --> 01:25:15.240
conversations with this team, like kind of consulting, but also they wanted to

1402
01:25:15.240 --> 01:25:21.560
see could tribe work for what they're doing, like, and so just multiple hours,

1403
01:25:21.560 --> 01:25:24.380
like basically free consulting of like all kinds of different things.

1404
01:25:24.380 --> 01:25:27.040
And it kind of got to the final decision with Pedro and they're just

1405
01:25:27.040 --> 01:25:28.300
like, weren't ready to pull the trigger.

1406
01:25:28.820 --> 01:25:32.200
So there was even a bit of frustration with that of like, okay, I just feel

1407
01:25:32.200 --> 01:25:36.720
like this has taken too much of us, like not upset with Pedro or anything, but

1408
01:25:36.720 --> 01:25:41.340
just like, you know, kind of get, you've been there, you're building a business

1409
01:25:41.340 --> 01:25:44.540
and you're like, you just need the one signature or you just, that's right.

1410
01:25:44.560 --> 01:25:45.320
That's right.

1411
01:25:45.340 --> 01:25:45.840
Yeah.

1412
01:25:46.000 --> 01:25:49.480
And so, um, anyway, it was just fascinating that like, it was kind of

1413
01:25:49.480 --> 01:25:53.000
like, okay, here we go again with Pedro, but like, it just felt a little bit.

1414
01:25:53.260 --> 01:25:53.880
Like different.

1415
01:25:53.880 --> 01:25:55.560
And then cause Pedro's a busy guy.

1416
01:25:55.560 --> 01:25:59.580
So he's even hard to, you know, get on a five minute call sometimes.

1417
01:25:59.740 --> 01:26:04.840
And he's, he spent an entire, like, I mean, this was probably, I'm again,

1418
01:26:04.840 --> 01:26:08.100
I'd probably get the timeline wrong, but like maybe a week or two from like Ed's

1419
01:26:08.100 --> 01:26:11.460
thing of like telling us like, you're gonna, there's going to be things that

1420
01:26:11.460 --> 01:26:15.520
you're going to get kind of a new way of leading something that's kind of like

1421
01:26:15.520 --> 01:26:19.440
what I walked away with and there was more to it, but kind of a new way of

1422
01:26:19.440 --> 01:26:28.040
leading and, um, so Pedro spent and Bruce spent like a weekend, like often

1423
01:26:28.040 --> 01:26:32.760
on like long phone calls of like, basically Pedro was like, um, you know,

1424
01:26:32.760 --> 01:26:34.380
would you consider like doing a partnership?

1425
01:26:34.380 --> 01:26:37.840
Cause he was like, as a, as a business person, like I want to invest in, I

1426
01:26:37.840 --> 01:26:41.960
want to eventually like invest in a SAS product, like that'd be a part of my

1427
01:26:42.000 --> 01:26:42.780
portfolio.

1428
01:26:43.360 --> 01:26:45.360
I don't know how much of this is confidential, but I'm just sure.

1429
01:26:46.720 --> 01:26:47.880
No, it's not going to go anywhere.

1430
01:26:47.880 --> 01:26:48.380
Don't worry.

1431
01:26:48.660 --> 01:26:52.700
And so, um, I mean, I don't think it's like something he wouldn't talk about

1432
01:26:52.700 --> 01:26:56.380
on stage, but just that they had, that they had these specific conversations

1433
01:26:56.380 --> 01:27:01.660
and, um, he, so they were even talking about like, what does it look like to,

1434
01:27:01.740 --> 01:27:04.860
it wouldn't be an investor partnership, but it'd be a part, it would be an

1435
01:27:04.860 --> 01:27:08.940
actual partnership because Pedro would take on all of the marketing side, which

1436
01:27:08.940 --> 01:27:12.700
is like not the stuff that we really wanted and even all the marketing, like

1437
01:27:12.700 --> 01:27:15.440
dollars of like ads and everything.

1438
01:27:15.440 --> 01:27:17.180
And then Bruce would obviously be like the tech side.

1439
01:27:17.180 --> 01:27:22.900
So it didn't come down to that clear cut of a partnership, but it came down to, I

1440
01:27:22.900 --> 01:27:28.540
think what was really cool was the way it happened was super honoring because they

1441
01:27:28.540 --> 01:27:30.700
were very honest with each other.

1442
01:27:30.700 --> 01:27:36.540
Like no, like anything held back, but they were able to like work out a lot of

1443
01:27:36.540 --> 01:27:42.740
kinks, like for each other, like Pedro was stuck in certain areas and like we were

1444
01:27:42.740 --> 01:27:45.340
stuck in certain areas and there was like able to be like this.

1445
01:27:46.100 --> 01:27:46.460
Yeah.

1446
01:27:46.500 --> 01:27:50.940
And so, um, but it came down to us building his like hundred X app, which

1447
01:27:50.940 --> 01:27:53.740
they've launched in the fall and they're building it.

1448
01:27:53.740 --> 01:27:58.700
And so it's, it's been a really good movement forward, but it basically, we

1449
01:27:58.700 --> 01:28:02.020
picked up tribe again, all that to say, I gave you a lot of detail, but we've

1450
01:28:02.020 --> 01:28:06.460
picked up tribe again, like, I mean, this was, it was kind of, I mean, it was

1451
01:28:06.460 --> 01:28:11.180
like, not even like a month apart, like weeks and days apart of us making a

1452
01:28:11.180 --> 01:28:14.540
decision, having the conversation with our developers and then the Lord just

1453
01:28:14.540 --> 01:28:15.980
quickly turning that around.

1454
01:28:16.700 --> 01:28:21.340
And I think for me, what was helpful about having Ed's word was it made

1455
01:28:21.380 --> 01:28:23.460
the uptake for me a lot quicker.

1456
01:28:23.980 --> 01:28:24.500
Okay.

1457
01:28:24.900 --> 01:28:28.100
From my conversations that I was having with the Lord to like, actually

1458
01:28:28.100 --> 01:28:32.380
like, not take notice, but like take action on them.

1459
01:28:32.380 --> 01:28:32.740
Yeah.

1460
01:28:32.780 --> 01:28:34.660
This isn't just like a fleeting thought.

1461
01:28:35.300 --> 01:28:41.500
And it's not something that we need to like, wait on like what I was like, Bruce,

1462
01:28:41.500 --> 01:28:45.780
I think like we might've made a wrong decision and you know, I think there's

1463
01:28:45.780 --> 01:28:49.540
something that made us, it made us available for even those conversations.

1464
01:28:49.540 --> 01:28:51.700
Cause before I think we would have been like, okay, like we've had this

1465
01:28:51.700 --> 01:28:55.220
conversation with Pedro before, like he just needs like whatever, but like it

1466
01:28:55.220 --> 01:28:57.260
made us take some things more seriously.

1467
01:28:57.420 --> 01:28:57.940
Yes.

1468
01:28:57.940 --> 01:29:02.900
Like, Hey, let's like, let's like make sure that we, we like give her,

1469
01:29:02.940 --> 01:29:04.780
gives our time to this and stuff.

1470
01:29:04.780 --> 01:29:06.420
So yeah.

1471
01:29:06.620 --> 01:29:07.460
Oh, that's great.

1472
01:29:08.180 --> 01:29:12.380
We're, we continue to pick that up and there's been some real movement and,

1473
01:29:12.620 --> 01:29:15.820
you know, obviously Pedro, because he's invested in building the app for a

1474
01:29:15.820 --> 01:29:19.340
hundred X there's even been, there's like, it's kind of hard to explain

1475
01:29:19.340 --> 01:29:23.340
cause it's kind of years in the making, but some of the things that we were

1476
01:29:23.340 --> 01:29:27.820
talking about doing Bruce and I like building Pedro is building for his

1477
01:29:27.820 --> 01:29:35.700
community, but it's, it's like a perfect situation for us because it's actually

1478
01:29:35.700 --> 01:29:37.740
a better situation than what it would have been if we had just done it on

1479
01:29:37.740 --> 01:29:38.980
our own, if that makes sense.

1480
01:29:39.700 --> 01:29:40.740
Like what on your end?

1481
01:29:40.940 --> 01:29:46.380
Like the way the marketing, well, not just marketing, but this, the week

1482
01:29:46.420 --> 01:29:50.700
it kind of had this, we have this idea of tribe, not just being like enterprise

1483
01:29:50.700 --> 01:29:53.980
level, like building it for like larger organizations, but we were going to

1484
01:29:53.980 --> 01:29:55.660
build kind of our own network.

1485
01:29:56.140 --> 01:29:59.380
Um, cause we had this desire to bring like.

1486
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.740
Kingdom content partners on a platform where they could come and like own their

1487
01:30:06.740 --> 01:30:09.120
data, all the stuff that we kind of shared with Kingdom Messenger.

1488
01:30:09.120 --> 01:30:11.680
Kingdom Messenger was kind of our, is, you know, we've given it to

1489
01:30:11.680 --> 01:30:13.220
them as kind of like a beta.

1490
01:30:13.560 --> 01:30:16.700
I mean, they're using it, but it wasn't, you know, thinking about thousands of

1491
01:30:16.700 --> 01:30:22.700
people, like on a network where it was like Kingdom focused, not like watered down.

1492
01:30:23.780 --> 01:30:27.340
Long story short, Pedro wants to build that for people who are obviously

1493
01:30:27.340 --> 01:30:30.940
Kingdom entrepreneurs who are people who are like coaches and businesses that

1494
01:30:30.940 --> 01:30:33.740
want to have their own, but they would build it off of his, like, what's going

1495
01:30:33.740 --> 01:30:36.440
to, what he's calling wisdomly, like his platform.

1496
01:30:37.040 --> 01:30:39.760
So people who are wanting to run challenge, but like they don't want to do

1497
01:30:39.760 --> 01:30:42.260
on Facebook, they can do it through his licensing.

1498
01:30:42.820 --> 01:30:47.300
So it's kind of what we wanted to build, but he, but it's actually like

1499
01:30:47.300 --> 01:30:48.740
there's, he has the volume.

1500
01:30:49.260 --> 01:30:50.580
Oh yeah, exactly.

1501
01:30:50.580 --> 01:30:53.140
He's in front of a hundred thousand people already.

1502
01:30:53.700 --> 01:30:59.300
So like, what would have taken us maybe years to market and build he's doing it.

1503
01:31:00.460 --> 01:31:00.940
Quickly.

1504
01:31:00.980 --> 01:31:01.780
So, yeah.

1505
01:31:02.260 --> 01:31:03.940
Now y'all would still get to own it though.

1506
01:31:03.940 --> 01:31:04.380
Right.

1507
01:31:04.420 --> 01:31:07.780
I mean, this partnership wouldn't be, he hasn't bought the source code.

1508
01:31:07.820 --> 01:31:11.780
Like he, he, because it doesn't really benefit him right now.

1509
01:31:11.780 --> 01:31:18.740
Like basically he, because the way it works is kind of like, um, a client will

1510
01:31:18.740 --> 01:31:22.500
buy, like there are, we all have some clients that have their own source code,

1511
01:31:22.500 --> 01:31:24.460
their own thing, like their enterprise level.

1512
01:31:24.540 --> 01:31:25.200
Absolutely.

1513
01:31:25.200 --> 01:31:30.260
They have their copy, have to kind of pay if they want things changed or updated.

1514
01:31:31.260 --> 01:31:37.380
Um, but the way that Pedro is building with us is he has like purchased his app.

1515
01:31:37.380 --> 01:31:40.740
So he's funding features that we get to keep right now.

1516
01:31:41.420 --> 01:31:44.940
That's because, um, of the, because of the, he's gets discounted

1517
01:31:44.940 --> 01:31:46.260
pricing basically to do that.

1518
01:31:46.700 --> 01:31:50.380
He could have any point by source code, but then he would have to go like

1519
01:31:50.380 --> 01:31:52.860
find his own developers and he doesn't want to do that.

1520
01:31:53.060 --> 01:31:53.460
Yeah.

1521
01:31:53.500 --> 01:31:54.660
He wants to work with us.

1522
01:31:54.740 --> 01:31:55.500
So yeah.

1523
01:31:55.900 --> 01:31:56.260
Yeah.

1524
01:31:56.380 --> 01:31:58.180
So it benefits us both.

1525
01:31:58.300 --> 01:31:58.740
Yeah.

1526
01:31:58.780 --> 01:31:59.540
Which is great.

1527
01:31:59.780 --> 01:32:00.020
Yeah.

1528
01:32:00.060 --> 01:32:04.580
Speaking of all of that, Bruce had told me, I had asked him, I don't remember how

1529
01:32:04.580 --> 01:32:10.260
long ago on the, on the tribe demo months ago, I'd asked him, I said, you know,

1530
01:32:10.260 --> 01:32:15.180
I've been wanting to get all of my group off of Facebook, but I said, I don't have

1531
01:32:15.180 --> 01:32:19.780
a, but I said, it has a lot of stuff in it that I want to keep, I want to keep

1532
01:32:20.140 --> 01:32:21.740
people's testimonies and their posts.

1533
01:32:21.740 --> 01:32:23.220
I said, it's just very powerful.

1534
01:32:23.220 --> 01:32:24.620
I mean, I've already saved.

1535
01:32:24.980 --> 01:32:28.100
It's taken a long time and it's taken a lot of work, but I've already saved all of

1536
01:32:28.100 --> 01:32:32.660
my content from Facebook that I put on Facebook on, um, not for my personal

1537
01:32:32.660 --> 01:32:36.340
profile, but I have for my group, everything that I've posted, like all of

1538
01:32:36.340 --> 01:32:41.140
the written stuff, all of the, um, like I literally scrolled two and a half years

1539
01:32:41.140 --> 01:32:43.860
back and went through and saved everything.

1540
01:32:43.860 --> 01:32:45.140
I finally finished it the other day.

1541
01:32:45.580 --> 01:32:47.460
But, and so now it's just keeping it up.

1542
01:32:47.500 --> 01:32:49.980
But what I haven't done is everybody else's posts.

1543
01:32:50.180 --> 01:32:54.380
And some of those are extremely important ever because it's the, it's

1544
01:32:54.380 --> 01:32:56.420
the documentation of their journeys.

1545
01:32:56.940 --> 01:33:02.980
It's people expressing in their own words, what happens as you shift while

1546
01:33:02.980 --> 01:33:04.980
you're in the middle of it, you know, so it's amazing.

1547
01:33:04.980 --> 01:33:08.300
And so, and people love listening to each other's testimonies and stuff.

1548
01:33:08.300 --> 01:33:12.820
And so sometimes even my comments on there are many teachings and that's

1549
01:33:12.820 --> 01:33:16.060
something I haven't gone back there and done because sometimes in my comments,

1550
01:33:16.060 --> 01:33:17.340
I'll word things in a particular way.

1551
01:33:17.340 --> 01:33:20.820
I'm thinking that is a really good, concise way to explain that.

1552
01:33:20.820 --> 01:33:23.060
I need to say that, but I don't anyway.

1553
01:33:23.420 --> 01:33:26.580
So the thing is that I told Bruce all this months ago, I said, I want to

1554
01:33:26.580 --> 01:33:32.740
literally take copy the entire group and move it somewhere I said, but

1555
01:33:32.740 --> 01:33:36.340
I've never heard of that I've, I've Googled it, I've Googled being able to

1556
01:33:36.340 --> 01:33:42.060
scrape and no other place, no place that I've heard of actually scrapes it.

1557
01:33:42.300 --> 01:33:46.820
It'll scrape the data, but it won't literally take everything that I need

1558
01:33:47.140 --> 01:33:48.980
and be able to import it somewhere else.

1559
01:33:48.980 --> 01:33:52.940
And he said, well, he said, we actually developed it for Pedro.

1560
01:33:53.020 --> 01:33:54.700
I was like, no, are you serious?

1561
01:33:55.060 --> 01:33:55.740
He said, yes.

1562
01:33:55.740 --> 01:33:59.940
And I said, and I said, well, and I don't remember how it, where did it, but as

1563
01:33:59.940 --> 01:34:02.500
it like, was it, did you own it or did he own it?

1564
01:34:02.500 --> 01:34:03.900
And he said, well, they paid for it.

1565
01:34:03.900 --> 01:34:05.380
He said, so you could contact them.

1566
01:34:05.380 --> 01:34:06.900
And so he gave me the information.

1567
01:34:06.900 --> 01:34:10.540
And so I told Pete, I told Bruce the other day on it, on a tech call.

1568
01:34:10.540 --> 01:34:17.420
I said, I've never had the courage and asked them for something that they paid

1569
01:34:17.420 --> 01:34:20.020
for, I was like, I just, I just can't do it.

1570
01:34:20.500 --> 01:34:23.900
Um, and you said, well, actually they now have a link up that

1571
01:34:23.900 --> 01:34:25.260
allows you to do it yourself.

1572
01:34:25.300 --> 01:34:26.660
They they're making it available.

1573
01:34:26.700 --> 01:34:27.820
I was like, are you serious?

1574
01:34:27.820 --> 01:34:28.460
And he said, yeah.

1575
01:34:28.460 --> 01:34:30.780
And he said, in fact, they're starting next month.

1576
01:34:31.060 --> 01:34:35.100
And I don't remember if that's this month or December, it's probably November,

1577
01:34:35.380 --> 01:34:39.900
but whatever it was, he said next month, they are starting, they are opening up

1578
01:34:39.900 --> 01:34:42.820
the link though, for like 35, $30 a month.

1579
01:34:42.860 --> 01:34:43.980
And I thought, well, that's doable.

1580
01:34:43.980 --> 01:34:47.020
He said, I said, because I really would like to pay them for that.

1581
01:34:47.020 --> 01:34:51.540
He said, cause if you do the link now, before they charge for it, he said, then

1582
01:34:51.540 --> 01:34:52.660
you don't have to be charged for it.

1583
01:34:52.660 --> 01:34:56.180
I said, well, I really want to honor the fact that they've already bought it.

1584
01:34:56.180 --> 01:34:59.380
And even though, yeah, the link is open, I'd like to pay him for it.

1585
01:34:59.380 --> 01:34:59.980
And he said, well, you could.

1586
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.000
do it now and then pay them for it when they start charging.

1587
01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:05.400
It's like, well, that's true.

1588
01:35:05.400 --> 01:35:08.520
But I still need to get the link from him.

1589
01:35:08.520 --> 01:35:11.640
And so I need to, what is the help desk hotline?

1590
01:35:11.640 --> 01:35:13.120
I mean, y'all's help desk?

1591
01:35:13.120 --> 01:35:17.200
Yeah, it's help at kmwsupport.com.

1592
01:35:17.200 --> 01:35:19.240
OK, kmwsupport.com.

1593
01:35:19.240 --> 01:35:22.200
Like, Kena Messenger Workshop is what kmwsupport.com.

1594
01:35:22.200 --> 01:35:23.080
OK.

1595
01:35:23.080 --> 01:35:24.600
OK, kmwsupport.com.

1596
01:35:24.600 --> 01:35:26.800
All right, so I'm going to have to message him on that

1597
01:35:26.800 --> 01:35:29.640
and ask him, hey, can you send me that link?

1598
01:35:29.680 --> 01:35:33.040
And then I need to ask him how I can import it, though,

1599
01:35:33.040 --> 01:35:35.320
and to try, because getting it all is one thing.

1600
01:35:35.320 --> 01:35:36.360
How do you import it?

1601
01:35:36.360 --> 01:35:37.280
Oh, yeah, yeah.

1602
01:35:37.280 --> 01:35:41.120
You know, so, yeah, I don't even know.

1603
01:35:41.120 --> 01:35:42.280
What did Pedro do with it?

1604
01:35:42.280 --> 01:35:45.040
When he exported his, what did he do with it?

1605
01:35:45.040 --> 01:35:48.040
I think he's just keeping it right now.

1606
01:35:48.040 --> 01:35:49.400
He just wanted the backup.

1607
01:35:49.400 --> 01:35:51.600
I mean, I'm sure he'll do something with it.

1608
01:35:51.600 --> 01:35:53.480
But he's probably scraping things

1609
01:35:53.480 --> 01:35:56.880
from marketing material, like comments and testimonies.

1610
01:35:56.880 --> 01:35:59.440
But that's probably how he's utilizing it the most.

1611
01:35:59.440 --> 01:36:01.520
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1612
01:36:01.520 --> 01:36:04.320
He has archived groups on Facebook.

1613
01:36:04.320 --> 01:36:07.240
But I mean, that could change.

1614
01:36:07.240 --> 01:36:09.320
Maybe he's going to, maybe he'll import stuff in

1615
01:36:09.320 --> 01:36:11.200
as he builds out his app more.

1616
01:36:11.200 --> 01:36:14.040
But that's what he's keeping it for right now.

1617
01:36:14.040 --> 01:36:15.960
And that's something I'd have to ask Bruce about,

1618
01:36:15.960 --> 01:36:19.560
is because that importing requires mapping,

1619
01:36:19.560 --> 01:36:21.680
like literally individually mapping

1620
01:36:21.680 --> 01:36:25.040
the fields between, OK, this is the Facebook export,

1621
01:36:25.040 --> 01:36:30.040
and what is tribes' comparative field.

1622
01:36:30.480 --> 01:36:33.040
And then it has to be mapped and then imported.

1623
01:36:33.040 --> 01:36:38.040
And so I don't know if Bruce has built that out,

1624
01:36:38.680 --> 01:36:43.680
an import capability to build out to a group.

1625
01:36:44.640 --> 01:36:47.080
Anyway, so like upload all of the videos,

1626
01:36:47.080 --> 01:36:50.000
upload the posts, show who liked it,

1627
01:36:50.000 --> 01:36:51.240
especially if I went in and say,

1628
01:36:51.240 --> 01:36:54.640
I'd be like, hey, I'll start all those accounts.

1629
01:36:55.280 --> 01:36:57.480
And then you'll have accounts to associate people with.

1630
01:36:57.480 --> 01:37:00.280
And then all of the comments can be associated

1631
01:37:00.280 --> 01:37:01.400
with those people and whatever.

1632
01:37:01.400 --> 01:37:04.120
So I'd have to talk to him about it, see if it's possible.

1633
01:37:04.120 --> 01:37:06.760
But it's just like this treasure trove there

1634
01:37:06.760 --> 01:37:10.320
of like stuff people experienced in like,

1635
01:37:10.320 --> 01:37:13.640
I don't know, it's very, is very deep and very important.

1636
01:37:13.640 --> 01:37:15.920
So anyway, I wanted to see if it was possible,

1637
01:37:15.920 --> 01:37:17.400
because if he doesn't,

1638
01:37:17.400 --> 01:37:19.600
I'm literally had started going through,

1639
01:37:19.600 --> 01:37:20.640
I did this about a year ago,

1640
01:37:20.640 --> 01:37:24.080
started going through and getting screenshots of stuff

1641
01:37:24.160 --> 01:37:25.760
just to at least have that.

1642
01:37:25.760 --> 01:37:26.920
We need to have it.

1643
01:37:26.920 --> 01:37:30.200
Yeah, so, but anyway, I don't, I haven't finished it,

1644
01:37:30.200 --> 01:37:32.960
but I need to ask him though about that whole link thing

1645
01:37:32.960 --> 01:37:34.800
and then see if there's a way to import.

1646
01:37:34.800 --> 01:37:36.000
Yeah, I actually don't know about that,

1647
01:37:36.000 --> 01:37:38.160
if there's an import feature yet, but.

1648
01:37:38.160 --> 01:37:40.680
Yeah, I don't think there's a feature,

1649
01:37:40.680 --> 01:37:44.080
but I was wondering if he had something on the backend,

1650
01:37:44.080 --> 01:37:46.120
if I sent it to him, if he could do it,

1651
01:37:46.120 --> 01:37:49.160
but he still has to have developed some way

1652
01:37:49.160 --> 01:37:51.080
to map to all those fields.

1653
01:37:51.080 --> 01:37:53.120
And then it would require some work on my part

1654
01:37:53.120 --> 01:37:57.360
to actually have accounts for all of those people

1655
01:37:57.360 --> 01:38:01.480
who made X comment for those comments to be associated to.

1656
01:38:01.480 --> 01:38:04.920
I have to have had their corresponding accounts in there.

1657
01:38:04.920 --> 01:38:07.920
So anyway, so that's all,

1658
01:38:07.920 --> 01:38:11.880
this is stuff that I used to do with them as a consultant

1659
01:38:11.880 --> 01:38:14.720
is to work on like switching people

1660
01:38:14.720 --> 01:38:16.000
from one software to another

1661
01:38:16.000 --> 01:38:18.240
and having to do all of that exporting and importing

1662
01:38:18.240 --> 01:38:19.360
and field mapping and all of that.

1663
01:38:19.360 --> 01:38:22.320
So anyway, it can be a lot of work.

1664
01:38:22.320 --> 01:38:25.760
So I'll just have to ask about what the capabilities are

1665
01:38:25.760 --> 01:38:28.080
and there just may not be any capabilities right now.

1666
01:38:28.080 --> 01:38:30.960
So anyway, but was there anything else

1667
01:38:30.960 --> 01:38:32.480
that you wanted to go over?

1668
01:38:32.480 --> 01:38:33.920
Oh, that was super helpful.

1669
01:38:33.920 --> 01:38:37.760
I feel like a lot of clarity.

1670
01:38:37.760 --> 01:38:39.920
Good, and I realized I didn't comment.

1671
01:38:39.920 --> 01:38:44.920
I am so excited that y'all can continue to develop Drive.

1672
01:38:45.480 --> 01:38:49.440
I think it's, I have told Morningstar about it.

1673
01:38:49.440 --> 01:38:50.920
I told the School of the Prophets about it

1674
01:38:50.920 --> 01:38:52.320
and they're looking at it.

1675
01:38:52.320 --> 01:38:54.720
And I've shown them some stuff

1676
01:38:54.720 --> 01:38:57.320
and I've given them like the demo thing

1677
01:38:57.320 --> 01:38:58.240
for them to look at.

1678
01:38:58.240 --> 01:38:59.640
And so they're looking at,

1679
01:38:59.640 --> 01:39:02.840
and they talk to me about it periodically.

1680
01:39:02.840 --> 01:39:04.440
And so they're thinking about

1681
01:39:04.440 --> 01:39:06.320
possibly reaching out to y'all at some point.

1682
01:39:06.320 --> 01:39:08.600
They just have so many things they're in the middle of,

1683
01:39:08.600 --> 01:39:10.720
but point is it's definitely on their radar.

1684
01:39:10.720 --> 01:39:12.680
Whatever their choice is gonna be, I don't know.

1685
01:39:12.680 --> 01:39:15.480
All I know is that they're all still talking about it.

1686
01:39:16.000 --> 01:39:21.000
And so anyway, but I'm excited that y'all are building it

1687
01:39:21.960 --> 01:39:26.120
now because it's so valuable that it just, I don't know,

1688
01:39:26.120 --> 01:39:28.440
it just, I think that it just, I've been,

1689
01:39:28.440 --> 01:39:30.640
I've just thought that it was just important

1690
01:39:30.640 --> 01:39:34.720
to keep up and keep going and to give people more,

1691
01:39:35.680 --> 01:39:38.920
for more people to discover and to be aware of.

1692
01:39:38.920 --> 01:39:40.640
So I'm excited for that.

1693
01:39:40.640 --> 01:39:41.480
Yeah, yeah.

1694
01:39:41.480 --> 01:39:43.320
So good.

1695
01:39:43.320 --> 01:39:44.920
Yeah, so.

1696
01:39:44.960 --> 01:39:45.800
All right.

1697
01:39:45.800 --> 01:39:47.440
Well, I know I'll see you tomorrow,

1698
01:39:47.440 --> 01:39:51.560
but I hope that you have a good week, this coming week.

1699
01:39:51.560 --> 01:39:52.520
Yeah, you too.

1700
01:39:52.520 --> 01:39:55.200
Maybe I'll live text you while it's happening.

1701
01:39:55.200 --> 01:39:56.400
Yeah, absolutely.

1702
01:39:56.400 --> 01:39:58.120
And you'll be in Hilton Head, won't you?

1703
01:39:58.120 --> 01:39:58.960
Yes.

1704
01:39:58.960 --> 01:40:00.120
That's not that far from.

1705
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:07.000
I don't remember how far it is. I've never been, but everyone always talks about Hilton Head and like it's like this resort area and it's amazing.

1706
01:40:07.360 --> 01:40:22.920
It's really pretty. If you're a beach person, it's a great little place to, I feel like it's not super over commercialized like some beaches, but they've kind of kept the integrity of like the look and feel. And so, yeah, we enjoy it.

1707
01:40:22.920 --> 01:40:40.320
That's nice. Yeah, the joiners have a place there. Rick and Julie Joiner have a place. And I'm always seeing, you know, people from Morningstar are always going and like renting hotel rooms and whatever at Hilton Head to be able to get away. And I've never been. I need to ask Ed to take me.

1708
01:40:40.720 --> 01:40:46.200
Another place that Bruce and I personally love, which is not too far away from Hilton Head, is Kiowa Island.

1709
01:40:46.720 --> 01:40:48.960
It's so much more remote.

1710
01:40:49.400 --> 01:40:49.880
Oh, okay.

1711
01:40:49.880 --> 01:41:03.840
It's much more quiet. And Bruce and I went, so like the year that I like lost my job and everything like fell apart, we actually took a week before Thanksgiving and went just the two of us. Like I completely like disconnected, but it was beautiful.

1712
01:41:03.840 --> 01:41:15.280
And so around, I mean, it might be busy, crazy during summer, but during the fall, still mild weather, like for like walks and stuff on the beach, but it was so quiet.

1713
01:41:16.240 --> 01:41:26.080
So I really like if you're looking like Hilton Head's a little bit more, there's like more things to do, more activities. But if you're looking for like just a really relaxing like beach place, Kiowa Island is really pretty.

1714
01:41:26.240 --> 01:41:30.280
Okay, good to know. All right. Thank you. Check it out.

1715
01:41:30.960 --> 01:41:34.480
Yeah. All right. Well, keep me updated.

1716
01:41:34.680 --> 01:41:36.320
I will talk soon.

1717
01:41:36.400 --> 01:41:37.000
Bye.

1718
01:41:37.040 --> 01:41:37.560
Bye.