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Hi, Kate, how are you?

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Are you sorry my cupboards wide open.

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Good.

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I'm sorry I'm a little late. My husband needed me to rush down and and sign a few things, and that were due for our benefit so to rush down and then rush back so probably fine, you're good, you're good just taking a break from work.

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Oh, good. So you're able to work from home. Yeah.

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Good, good, good. Usually on Wednesdays we do.

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Well that's nice. Yeah, sorry my internet is kind of spotty here so if I talk over you, it's unintentional.

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That's fine.

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Yeah, that doesn't bother me.

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And I was about to ask you something.

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I remember it was anyway.

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So how are you doing.

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I'm good. I'm good. I went back to work Tuesday, after being off, and was feeling so rested, and then you come in and it was just like move like all the stuff in the thousands and hundreds of emails and saturation, but felt like, and then just, I just,

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I've been on back to back meetings all morning and then our team in Texas our bosses that we report to in Texas they're like, Hey, where's your next trip we want you on the road every other week and we want you this, you need to get 60 proposals out and all these things

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and I was like, like, no, no, not happening.

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Yeah.

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And so, this.

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Yeah, just been warning off a little bit of anxiety have just like going back to because I know how well my body responds when I'm rested, and it feels so good and I feel like I'm thriving in life, even when I'm working but I'm here.

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So, there's just kind of maybe an undertone of fear like going back to the, you know, full travel and, and what that's going to feel like and whether that it sometimes feels like it's going to take you two steps back, instead of the continued, you know,

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progress forward.

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What that reminds me of is, is Casey's you remember that Casey was talking about you know well I'm doing good now. But when my husband goes back to where, you know, in other words, if I go back into, you know, my old situation where I, you know, we always

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associate with all of our as like instigating our problems. In other words, that we're like well I have control if I'm outside of it but when I'm back in there I feel like control is taken away from me and then we can just kind of get really like worried.

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Right. So one of the things is to, and I'll try to get better at articulating this to help people but um, but the important thing is to choose you, not, can you get cut out and I missed.

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I think I missed what you said because it cut out maybe if I change locations. Hold on a second. Okay.

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Okay.

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Sometimes,

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works better.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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I heard that so that's good.

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Goodness.

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I have the door open.

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All the dust.

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Um, so anyway what I was going to say was, the important thing is to remember to choose to choose you to choose that as, as like your priority, your highest value you mean not not about the Lord but you know you're, you're, you know, if you're like kind

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you know the world, just as that is the highest value in this job is something you're choosing for you.

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And, which you know that but what I'm saying is, you have to go into it with that intention that this is me, choosing to live the life that I have decided on, you know, for this season, and then you don't feel as as victimized.

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or put in a position to defend yourself against things that could happen to you, be pressed

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upon you, be, you know, expected of you, required of you, you know, pressured on you or whatever.

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And then you can interact with the bosses, the demands, the, the requests, the whatever

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from a more healthy perspective, because you own you.

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And even though we don't realize, we may not have recognized that those are the people

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in the, in our workplaces that we admire the most, the people that value themselves and

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don't feel owned by their company, they don't feel owned by their, by their boss, they don't

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feel owned by their, by their job, that enables them, at least if they have a healthy perspective

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of it, it enables them to interact with their job in a healthy way.

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Because they don't feel victimized by it and, but still be able to, to treat their boss

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in their situations with respect, not with, because anybody who interacts with like their

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boss or whatever, you know, from like constant defensive mode, protecting themselves against

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their boss means that they feel, and it comes and they think they're coming across as confident,

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you know, I'm not going to put up with that.

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And I, and no, no, no, I'm not going to do that.

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And it means they feel like if they don't put up a good enough fight, that they're just

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going to be overcome, you know, so people like that aren't actually owning themselves.

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They're just trying to, you know, they're just making it, they're just going at their

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their, their, their defensive position from a different place than somebody who's just

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allowing themselves to be, you know, run over.

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So they're just handling the situation differently, but both of those people don't feel like they

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own themselves.

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But if you feel like you own yourself and that you're not, and you're not threatened

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by the potential of like losing and losing your job, because the Lord is taking care

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of you.

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Then you're like, okay, you know what?

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This is the job that the Lord, I believe the Lord has given to me that I'm choosing for

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me right now.

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Sure.

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I've got other dreams that, um, you know, for like later on in life, but you know, this

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is what I've chosen for me right now.

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And so therefore everything's in my hands.

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This is me and the Lord choosing to live life in this particular way right now.

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And then you don't feel threatened by the things that are coming against you.

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And the way that you interact with them is in a, from a respectful place, as opposed

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to people who act like they don't feel threatened and act like they're the big shot and act

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like, no, no, no, this place doesn't know me, but if they do it from like this very

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defensive place, it means that they feel threatened and it means it's not genuine and it's not

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real.

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So anyway, my, my, my point is a lot of people can feel like some of the questions that have

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been brought up.

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Yeah.

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But how is such and such not selfish?

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Somebody brought that up the other day.

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Oh, it was on a, it was on one of the private consultations.

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So it was like, didn't we have a discussion about this recently?

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Like maybe on a fireside chat, but it was on a, on a, uh, a, uh, one of my private,

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uh, transformation sessions, someone was asking, you know, yeah, but isn't such and such selfish,

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but that's the thing.

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If we choose that, we are who God says that we are.

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In other words, our opinion of ourselves is based on what God has said, not on what we

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wish were true or we're choosing ourselves over God or whatever, but no, what has God

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said?

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Then anything that we, it's, it's from a very healthy foundation and it's from the spirit

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of the Lord.

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And therefore, when we operate out of the spirit of the Lord, it's going to be in kindness.

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It's going to be in respect.

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It's going to be in love because it's out of his, it's out of his spirit because that's

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where we're choosing to abide in and choose to rest.

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So anyway, I know you didn't ask that question, but it was just something that I, I thought,

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you know, if, uh, if you have the questions that most people do, that would kind of be

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in the back of your mind of like, yeah, but how do you like choose yourself, but not come

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across as, as like selfish or not, um, not amenable to your boss's requests or whatever

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your boss's request, then don't threaten, you know, you and you can draw what the world

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would call as healthy boundaries of like, you know, that there's only so much time in

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the day.

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I know that you need me to do all this.

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I can't do all of this from a respectful way, as opposed to a, as to a, you know, a mean

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way, which I knew you wouldn't, but that that's the concern is people going from where it

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is that maybe a lot of how you've interacted has been, which is, you know, probably been

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very kind and very, you know, feeling like you couldn't speak up or whatever are, you

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know, people like you and me, our concern is that we're going to swing to this extreme.

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If we.

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choose that we are who God says that we are, but we're not because we're, we'll be based in the

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Lord and therefore we'll be operating out of his character. So we have the boundaries.

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But we, we, um, uphold the boundaries in the character of his goodness and the character

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of his love, which means that everyone is treated, you know, with respect, but we also

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treat ourselves with respect at the same time, you know, anyway, does all of that make sense?

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Yeah. Yeah. No, and I can see it where it was like, um, no, it's super helpful. Um, I think

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there's like, in the moment when a decision is made in front of you, that is going to impact

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your workload or that all of a sudden that feeling like you're drowning already, and you haven't even

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gotten started in that feeling of like, I'm always going to be behind. So it is a protection, a

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defense mechanism that you respond of like, no, don't do this because it's not going to be good.

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Or you'd feel like you have to kind of whine in the sense that you're just like, but this,

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and I can't travel every other week because of X, Y, and Z. And it's a different scenario because

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I live here and we have so many supporters that are local and all of these things trying to like,

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justify it. Um, but I think the key is like, how, when you feel that adrenaline response coming

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in the moment of like, I'm scared of what this decision is, how it's about to impact my life.

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How do you, whether that's in a friendship, a trigger and like a friendship or somebody says

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something in the moment and you feel that adrenaline response, like what do you practically

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do in that moment to create some space so you can act in a place of honor and kindness and not from

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a fearful, a fearful place? Um, well, one of the things is that, um, remember,

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okay. So this can get a little, can this can maybe sound surprising because it's very different

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than the way that we're taught that the relationship between employer and employee

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works. We're taught, um, I mean like literally verbatim, we are taught that, that the people

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that the employees are there to solve problems for the employers. And that's bogus. And I'm telling

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you that as a past business consultant and as a past person who like managed groups of people and

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whatever in very, very high profile, uh, projects where I actually had to do this. So this is like

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tried and true stuff that I've actually done. I, this isn't just theory of when this be nice

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that the world worked this way now. Um, and so, uh, and the thing is that it's actually the

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employers who are there, whose responsibility like leaders, managers, or whatever are in that place

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in order to solve problems for the employees. Because really what it is, is that employees

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are there. In other words, those underneath are there to be, um, well, let me, let me grammatically

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say this differently. The employers, the manager, the leader, whoever is there to provide a protection

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for the, for the people underneath them to be able to, to do what they do best. It's not to

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micromanage them. And it's not to, uh, it's not that the, even the leader knows how to do their

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job better than the employee, the employee, meaning like that, that he knows how to do the

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employee's job better than the employee. They're there to provide covering and protection and to

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provide for the needs of their employees. So, which all sounds great if you're in the leadership

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position, but what about if you're not in that position and your leader doesn't normally take

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on that responsibility to solve those problems. So I've been in both situations. I've been in the

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situation of the leader where I, where I had to learn to provide that for my people. And I had

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no one to show me that that's what you do. The Lord just had to show it to me. And then, and

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that's how I, how I treated my people. But then I'm also in the position of being underneath the

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people above me and they didn't see it the same way. So what I did is, um, is I would just,

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it was the way that I would word things. I would basically view things from a particular perspective,

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not from trying, like, in other words, believing that this was so not trying to convince them and

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basically just acting as if, well, this is normal. This is expected. This is the way that the world

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works. And I would basically just present issues to them where they would say, Hey, Ashley, I want

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you to do this, or I need you to do this. And I would, you know, be amenable and say, you know,

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what, um, uh, where, what's the words I've forgotten some, so much of my corporate language

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after, after a while, but, um, I would.

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It's not, I, you figure out how to, uh, this is the thing you show yourself to be willing.

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You don't just show it, you know, you're not trying to convince them.

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You make yourself before the Lord, willing to do what your boss is requesting of you,

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you know, and, but that doesn't mean that if your boss tells you to do something, that

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it's your responsibility to, how would you word that to, um, to, to make your boss's

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dream come true.

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You don't have to, it's not your responsibility to make, to figure it out and make it happen.

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Now yes, there's a measure of problem solving.

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Yes.

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The boss presents a problem and you as the employee, you try to figure it out.

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Okay.

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Well, what can we do?

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We're a team here.

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What can we do?

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How can I implement my skillset in order to help them?

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So yes, there's that.

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But what I mean is that you aren't there as your boss is lackey.

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If he just comes up with ideas and it doesn't matter how it affects you, you just have to

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make it happen.

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And therefore you're subject to the consequences.

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And here's the point you're said you're not subject to absorbing the consequences of what

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he wishes were to happen.

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You've got your own boundaries in place.

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I mean, so to speak that for instance, even HR is there in order to help you, um, in order

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to help you like, uh, uphold.

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And that are things like, what did you agree to when you signed a contract with that company?

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You know, what, what's the, what's the terms of the agreement you were providing your labor

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in exchange for services.

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You're not, there is a slave, there's an exchange going on.

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So you were there strictly to make money.

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I mean, yes, you're there for like other reasons, you know, spiritually and whatever, but I

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mean, like from, from like, if you're just looking at like business principles, you know,

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you were there because if you weren't there, if you didn't need to make money, would you

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be working there?

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Seriously?

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Wouldn't you probably be doing something else, right?

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So you're saying, Hey, look, I will give you my labor if you give me X amount of money.

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And then you agreed on an exchange of a certain amount of labor, not your life, a certain

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amount of labor in exchange that you found equal to the amount of money they were going

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to give you for that number of hours, that amount of labor, et cetera.

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So what have you agreed to?

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And I don't mean being really strict on it and whatever, and just like, no, I'm only

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doing this.

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And now, you know, we're talking about flexibility, but I'm just talking about not allowing, not

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having, I'm talking about, you know, ignoring boundaries and doing way what going way over

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here and then calling that godly it's like, no, no being flexible here, you know, that's

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good, but doing this, you know, you know, that's not needed.

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So my so anyway, my point is that you, you remember that this is a, this is a, a business

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relationship with your boss or, or whoever.

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And so your boss has comes up with ideas about, Hey, I want you to do this and whatever.

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So within the bounds of what you've agreed to exchange, they're giving you a certain

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amount of money for a certain amount of effort, because they're not offering you more money

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in order in exchange for more labor.

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And if they do, that's a new negotiation.

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That is brand new.

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You did not sign up for that day one.

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That is brand new.

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So anyway, I'm just trying to remind you, I'm not, I'm not trying to, to make make bosses

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out to be the enemy.

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I'm trying to just remind you of what this situation, what reality actually is just remind

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you it's, it really is just that basic exchange.

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So based on the foundation of that basic exchange, your boss is like, okay, well then I want

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these types of things done.

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Does it fit within the boundaries of what you agreed to do the amount of labor and aspects

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of yourself that you offered to the company in exchange for the amount of money that they're

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going to give you?

225
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So so if the, you, if it's normally 40 hours and they're, and they're requiring, you'd

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always work 60 hours or there, or it was agreed in your contract that you would be traveling

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like X amount of time or whatever.

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Or say for instance, that it's not safe for instance, that it's a little more challenging

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with situation.

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And the fact that those things weren't specified, like how many times you would be traveling,

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they just said, travel would be part of your job.

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So what is your boss's request now requiring of you?

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And if it's requiring more of you than you can do, and that you agree and is worth it

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in exchange for the money that they're giving you, give that to your boss as their problem

235
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to solve.

236
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Right.

237
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Okay.

238
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So, but the way that you do that is it's, it's in the wording it's presenting it as,

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as let's see how, how would you word that?

240
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It's just, okay.

241
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.500
Hey, well, you know, I'm happy to, um, I, you know, absolutely would love to help.

242
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I want to be able to, um, you know, I understand the importance of

243
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going to such and such a place.

244
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In other words, you basically try to always respond to any requests that

245
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your boss makes with an affirmation of what they've said and an affirmation

246
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of what they've wanted, and basically you see the positive in what they're

247
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saying and you affirm it.

248
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And then, then, then the, you, you just kind of present the fact that you would

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like them to help you solve the problem that you are facing in trying to help

250
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them get it done, as opposed to it sounding like you don't want to help them.

251
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So, you know, you're very willing to help them, but there are these

252
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obstacles that you have in your, in your way that are posing a problem.

253
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So boss, can you help me figure these things out so we can, so I can get

254
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done what you want me to get done.

255
00:20:58.760 --> 00:21:04.080
Then they see that willingness, but they also see a healthy aspect of you, of

256
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you needing to, um, uh, a lot, I don't know, just, just be healthy.

257
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And, and I keep using the word boundaries.

258
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There's another word for it, but anyway, you know, wanting to

259
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keep healthier boundaries.

260
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And so when you present those things, it's kind of like, okay, well, you

261
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know, you know, you say the positive things and affirmation and whatever.

262
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And they say, well, you know, I'm finding that, that, um, I'm really, uh, I don't

263
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know, just, I don't know, you mentioned some, some issue that you're running

264
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into with the amount of travel or, or whatever, and, and maybe even in the

265
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bosses, bosses really, really, really, really, really like this, they don't

266
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like to be presented with problems.

267
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They like to be presented with solutions.

268
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So the thing is that you can present this issue that you're running into and

269
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then present a few options of solutions that you're okay with and that they can

270
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choose from, because that also shows willingness.

271
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So it was like, well, what if we did this instead?

272
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Or what if we did this or, or what if, you know, boss, you, you told me this,

273
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but you've also told me you wanted me to do these other things.

274
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So.

275
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Uh, you said that this was your highest priority.

276
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So is this now replaced it as the highest priority?

277
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And I need to put this on the shelf or we need to extend the deadline.

278
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And you, and now you want me to do this instead of my understanding that

279
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correctly, because there's not, I don't have enough hours, you know,

280
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available for all of this.

281
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So which one would you like me to do?

282
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And then would you like to just extend the deadline of the other one or, or

283
00:22:29.740 --> 00:22:31.020
what do you want me to do with this one?

284
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In other words, you're just showing that you're willing, but you're asking

285
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them to solve a problem for you.

286
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As opposed to you thinking, trying to, you know, you just hear what you have

287
00:22:39.620 --> 00:22:42.820
to do, and then you have to go and figure out how to make it happen.

288
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And, and, and normally what ends up happening is in that situation, we end

289
00:22:47.900 --> 00:22:51.780
up absorbing all of the consequences of the fact that you can't do everything.

290
00:22:52.340 --> 00:22:55.500
You know, so you present it to your boss to solve the problem

291
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that you can't do everything.

292
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So you have him define for you what his priorities are, you know, or whatever,

293
00:23:01.420 --> 00:23:03.620
but do you, does all of that make sense?

294
00:23:03.620 --> 00:23:06.660
It's been a while since I've articulated all this, does it all make sense?

295
00:23:06.660 --> 00:23:10.340
And how you're showing you're willing, but you're not taking on the

296
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responsibility to solve the problems.

297
00:23:12.420 --> 00:23:14.500
You contribute, it's a team effort.

298
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You suggest solutions.

299
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Again, part of that is showing willingness and bosses do not

300
00:23:20.020 --> 00:23:21.300
like to be complained to.

301
00:23:21.700 --> 00:23:23.460
And because that shows a lack of willingness.

302
00:23:23.660 --> 00:23:28.700
So you present problems followed by potential solutions that they could

303
00:23:28.700 --> 00:23:30.980
choose from, and then you leave it up to them.

304
00:23:31.540 --> 00:23:36.020
And so that is also by presenting solutions, there's, that's an aspect

305
00:23:36.020 --> 00:23:39.460
of owning your own, I don't know, owning your own life, owning your

306
00:23:39.460 --> 00:23:43.860
own job, because you're coming up with an idea of how things can, can work.

307
00:23:44.340 --> 00:23:47.540
And, um, and you're also in a way.

308
00:23:48.060 --> 00:23:51.860
You didn't just say, well, what would you like me to do?

309
00:23:51.860 --> 00:23:55.220
Like, as if, which you absolutely can, but just in certain situations,

310
00:23:55.220 --> 00:24:00.100
you're, you don't want to just leave it out for him to just decide whatever

311
00:24:00.100 --> 00:24:04.020
he wants, because you might really not like that it might solve the problem.

312
00:24:04.020 --> 00:24:06.740
And you really don't like the solution.

313
00:24:06.740 --> 00:24:07.620
It solves it.

314
00:24:07.740 --> 00:24:11.060
So you feel you can't say no, but you really don't like the solution.

315
00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:15.940
It kind of protects you a little bit for you to come up with the solutions.

316
00:24:16.300 --> 00:24:18.500
And it also it's psychological.

317
00:24:18.700 --> 00:24:22.660
It will limit their mind a little bit more just to those solutions.

318
00:24:22.700 --> 00:24:25.260
They might try to come up with a third one and whatever, and

319
00:24:25.260 --> 00:24:27.100
y'all can figure that out.

320
00:24:27.420 --> 00:24:30.220
But psychologically it's helpful.

321
00:24:30.860 --> 00:24:35.860
It it's, uh, because it's the power of suggestion, because when someone

322
00:24:35.860 --> 00:24:39.180
hears it, they're more likely to receive it.

323
00:24:39.700 --> 00:24:44.500
Um, and, uh, it's kind of like, um, I was, you know, that lawsuit

324
00:24:44.500 --> 00:24:48.220
that I went through one time, the, uh, I was in a deposition where

325
00:24:48.220 --> 00:24:50.060
the lawyer was going at me.

326
00:24:50.820 --> 00:24:53.100
And he accused me of something horrible.

327
00:24:53.180 --> 00:24:54.140
I'm just horrible.

328
00:24:54.620 --> 00:24:58.460
And my boss, uh, we left that we left the deposition and he was shocked.

329
00:24:58.460 --> 00:24:59.980
He said, Ashley, I can't believe he.

330
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.160
said such a thing and suggested such a thing.

331
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.360
And I said, it makes perfect sense to me.

332
00:25:05.360 --> 00:25:07.400
He knows I didn't do that thing.

333
00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:10.840
But all he has to do is plant that idea

334
00:25:10.840 --> 00:25:12.960
in the mind of the jury.

335
00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:16.280
And then that's all he was going for.

336
00:25:16.280 --> 00:25:18.600
He knew I hadn't done that.

337
00:25:18.600 --> 00:25:22.560
It was just that if he could get the jury to start doubting me

338
00:25:22.560 --> 00:25:25.680
and think, oh, maybe that could be a problem.

339
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:28.840
If the jury had never thought about it,

340
00:25:28.840 --> 00:25:32.080
then if they had been left to their own devices with it,

341
00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:33.600
it would have never occurred to them.

342
00:25:33.600 --> 00:25:35.640
So it's just the power of suggestion.

343
00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:37.840
So anyway, it really does help.

344
00:25:37.840 --> 00:25:41.160
Now, I'm not talking in any way about manipulating somebody

345
00:25:41.160 --> 00:25:41.720
else.

346
00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:44.560
We're talking about psychologically working

347
00:25:44.560 --> 00:25:47.200
with human psychology to help someone else.

348
00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:50.640
We're not talking about trying to make this go your way.

349
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:53.040
I'm just mentioning some of the benefits

350
00:25:53.040 --> 00:25:55.840
of why you present a solution.

351
00:25:55.840 --> 00:25:58.640
It shows your willingness.

352
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:03.320
And bosses like to be presented with solutions.

353
00:26:03.320 --> 00:26:07.960
It also allows you to contribute your skill set, which

354
00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:14.040
is to be able to offer something new to the company, ideas,

355
00:26:14.040 --> 00:26:16.040
problem solving, whatever.

356
00:26:16.040 --> 00:26:18.160
So it is an aspect of yourself.

357
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:19.800
It's like a creative aspect of yourself

358
00:26:19.800 --> 00:26:22.640
that solves problems that you offer up

359
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:24.720
that someone else can take advantage of that's

360
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:28.240
meant to benefit the company or the boss or whatever.

361
00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:30.680
Anyway, we talked a lot about this.

362
00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:32.560
Is any of that helpful?

363
00:26:32.560 --> 00:26:33.960
Yeah, for sure.

364
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:35.040
For sure.

365
00:26:35.040 --> 00:26:36.120
My boss is amazing.

366
00:26:36.120 --> 00:26:37.680
And I love her.

367
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:43.680
Her general default is not covering, of helping,

368
00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:49.120
that it's just not something that she does.

369
00:26:49.120 --> 00:26:51.920
Yeah, so naturally, it's been having to just be like,

370
00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:52.640
I'm drowning.

371
00:26:52.640 --> 00:26:54.000
I need you to do something.

372
00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:55.040
What are you going to do?

373
00:26:55.040 --> 00:26:56.640
And then oftentimes, her solution

374
00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:58.720
is not what I'm super excited about.

375
00:26:58.720 --> 00:27:02.280
So coming up with that is definitely helpful.

376
00:27:02.280 --> 00:27:03.720
I think, yeah.

377
00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:06.520
And a lot of times, bosses will pass on to the people

378
00:27:06.520 --> 00:27:08.920
underneath and the pressure that they're feeling that they

379
00:27:08.920 --> 00:27:12.120
don't feel able to say no.

380
00:27:12.120 --> 00:27:14.680
They're not strong enough to say no.

381
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:16.600
And my boss is the same way.

382
00:27:16.600 --> 00:27:18.640
She didn't feel strong enough to say no.

383
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:23.160
And she would basically throw herself,

384
00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:26.000
I don't know how to put this, but basically

385
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:28.600
throw me under the bus.

386
00:27:28.600 --> 00:27:29.600
She was a good boss.

387
00:27:29.600 --> 00:27:32.840
It's hard to describe, but she really was a very good boss.

388
00:27:32.840 --> 00:27:35.440
But there was a way in which, when she would get pressure,

389
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:37.760
she always liked everyone to think well of her.

390
00:27:37.760 --> 00:27:42.640
So she'd try to figure out how to always make

391
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:44.960
her to be in a good position.

392
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:49.120
And she would just act with me like, Ashley, I'm so sorry.

393
00:27:49.120 --> 00:27:51.160
I tried.

394
00:27:51.160 --> 00:27:52.360
I'm for you.

395
00:27:52.360 --> 00:27:53.080
I'm whatever.

396
00:27:53.080 --> 00:27:54.000
And I'm like, no, you're speaking

397
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:55.040
out of both sides of your mouth.

398
00:27:55.040 --> 00:27:57.680
I know that you're saying the same thing to your boss.

399
00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:01.800
So my point is that I was in that situation,

400
00:28:01.800 --> 00:28:03.600
and I was one of the few.

401
00:28:03.600 --> 00:28:07.720
And the whole department would watch

402
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:10.320
that this little peon of a person, in other words,

403
00:28:10.320 --> 00:28:13.760
the person that was on the lowest part of the totem

404
00:28:13.760 --> 00:28:16.760
pole, was getting results that was catching

405
00:28:16.760 --> 00:28:18.400
everybody's attention.

406
00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:20.680
And then I was also, because I was following the Lord

407
00:28:20.680 --> 00:28:23.440
and doing things in rest, like what does the Lord say?

408
00:28:23.480 --> 00:28:28.560
But to do, and then they were getting these wild results.

409
00:28:28.560 --> 00:28:32.680
But then I was also, I was one of the youngest people there.

410
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:38.760
And I was the one who was actually brave enough to say no.

411
00:28:38.760 --> 00:28:40.480
I didn't say no.

412
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:42.920
What I would do is what I was telling you about.

413
00:28:42.920 --> 00:28:43.600
You do this.

414
00:28:43.600 --> 00:28:46.920
And well, I'm afraid, so this is the problem.

415
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:50.320
So how would you like us to solve this?

416
00:28:50.320 --> 00:28:53.680
But in other words, I wouldn't just absorb it and say yes.

417
00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:56.680
I would stand my ground and say, no, no, no, Ashley,

418
00:28:56.680 --> 00:28:58.280
we really need to do this.

419
00:28:58.280 --> 00:28:59.880
I understand.

420
00:28:59.880 --> 00:29:01.000
And I'm really sorry.

421
00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:06.000
But there you can see there's just this, da, da, da.

422
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:07.080
I don't know.

423
00:29:07.080 --> 00:29:08.320
It would require this.

424
00:29:08.320 --> 00:29:09.280
It would require this.

425
00:29:09.280 --> 00:29:12.120
And I'm afraid that that's just not possible.

426
00:29:12.120 --> 00:29:15.520
But what I could do is what if I did this?

427
00:29:15.520 --> 00:29:17.120
What would this be helpful?

428
00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:18.920
Or would this be helpful?

429
00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:23.600
But they weren't used to someone standing their ground on the fact

430
00:29:23.600 --> 00:29:28.360
that they had the right as a human being to, I don't know,

431
00:29:28.360 --> 00:29:31.640
to treat themselves with value.

432
00:29:31.640 --> 00:29:33.320
And they respected it.

433
00:29:33.320 --> 00:29:37.320
But it's hard because you don't know what's going to happen.

434
00:29:37.320 --> 00:29:41.640
You don't know if that's going to change your reputation.

435
00:29:41.640 --> 00:29:43.320
You don't know, I mean, meaning like how it's

436
00:29:43.320 --> 00:29:44.640
going to change your reputation.

437
00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:47.160
You don't know, you know, would they actually finally fire you?

438
00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:48.840
You know, they would ever.

439
00:29:48.840 --> 00:29:56.920
But so anyway, but it's just that what I did is I just chose me and God

440
00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:59.560
in my as being the most important thing in life.

441
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:09.760
my job and just, and so anyway. Yeah, that's really cool. And just like when I feel the anxiety

442
00:30:09.760 --> 00:30:16.000
coming on, I'm like, okay, it's, it's like, why, why do I care so much? It's, it's just a job.

443
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:20.480
Like, why, why is it that I'm actually going to physically let it manifest in my body? Because

444
00:30:20.480 --> 00:30:28.320
I know the anxiety and the stress has been such a huge source for the health problems that I've

445
00:30:28.320 --> 00:30:32.960
experienced over the years. So I'm like, this has to be my utmost priority to not partner with

446
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:39.600
stress and anxiety. So whatever we need to do to, to in whatever, whether it's friendships or

447
00:30:39.600 --> 00:30:48.880
whatever, like to not, not experience that then. Yeah. That's just something I've just been like,

448
00:30:48.880 --> 00:30:53.600
I've just been in the process of getting off of some of my supplements, which the Lord is leading

449
00:30:53.600 --> 00:30:59.200
and it's been super great. And, um, but at the same time, ones that were like, you know,

450
00:30:59.200 --> 00:31:04.000
supposed to help my adrenals, which helps impact the stress things. So then when you take them

451
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:09.920
away, you're like, okay, my body feels feeling a little extra sensitive right now. And just

452
00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:14.800
having grace for myself in that moment of like, okay, you might just need to guard, guard your

453
00:31:14.800 --> 00:31:20.320
time a little bit more closely for this moment as your body's adjusting and sleeping a little

454
00:31:20.320 --> 00:31:26.320
more or whatever you need to do. So, um, and choosing myself that no, like my physical health

455
00:31:26.320 --> 00:31:33.920
and my, and that is more important than a job and a paycheck, like, but there's still a way to be in

456
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:41.760
it and not get emotionally. So connect, like held up in, they want me to do this, but I'm not doing

457
00:31:41.760 --> 00:31:47.200
this, but I can't, but I didn't like, I think it's the emotional stronghold that really takes over

458
00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:52.800
me. And it's the same for relationships to like, what do you think about me? Or what are the, and

459
00:31:52.800 --> 00:31:56.320
that was one of the questions that I'd written down for you today is like, there's a couple of

460
00:31:56.320 --> 00:31:59.760
people that I'm like, I'm good with, I can text them happy birthday. It's super great. They'll

461
00:31:59.760 --> 00:32:04.960
text me back, but I intentionally distanced myself from that relationship for a reason.

462
00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:13.200
Like, um, one, for instance, has a bunch of small children and their young family. And they're just

463
00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:16.960
incredible. And they were really, really close. We were such close friends, but I found that

464
00:32:17.520 --> 00:32:22.080
I wasn't serving them in their family. There was just no time to be in relationship where I found

465
00:32:22.080 --> 00:32:27.200
myself, like, if I'm not able to drop everything I'm doing and help watch the kids or run an errand

466
00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:31.600
for you, do all these things. And I felt myself. So then I just distanced. And then, then like,

467
00:32:31.600 --> 00:32:37.360
I realized the day I'm like, oh, I didn't get invited to the baby shower, the newest baby

468
00:32:37.360 --> 00:32:40.960
shower. I didn't get invited to this. And then they've withdrawn because I was wrong. And it

469
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:45.920
hurts. It hurts really bad, but I'm like, because it was such a close relationship. And again,

470
00:32:45.920 --> 00:32:51.040
there was no big falling out. There was no nothing. Um, or another person who was diving

471
00:32:51.040 --> 00:32:57.760
into the healing and she was diving into like the deliverance realm and everything became a

472
00:32:57.760 --> 00:33:01.440
deliverance issue. And whenever you're walking through something, you want to boldly declare

473
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:04.960
that this is the route that everyone needs to take to get their freedom and their healing and

474
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:08.560
their deliverance. And they're like, so every time you go to them and you're like, I could just,

475
00:33:08.560 --> 00:33:12.320
you know, use a prayer or whatever's happening in your life. And they're like, it's a deliverance

476
00:33:12.320 --> 00:33:18.000
issue. And so I'm suddenly I'm like, okay, this is actually hurting more than it's helping. And

477
00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:22.400
then I see them from a distance all the time or, and then you're like, oh, this hurts. And why am

478
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:29.520
I so emotionally? Like there's something with me. That's so emotionally caught up in, in

479
00:33:29.520 --> 00:33:37.520
relationships, in job, in everything that it's like this, um, this, this high sensitive

480
00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:44.480
emotional world, which has overtaken me and I'm stepping out of it. I believe that I'm, I'm, I'm,

481
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:48.320
I'm moving away from that. And it's because of the new belief systems that we've partnered with,

482
00:33:49.040 --> 00:33:54.160
but I'm seeing how that has been such a huge source of the stress and anxiety and physical

483
00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:58.880
ailments in my body. And I don't know what that is like this high emotion, like what,

484
00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:07.840
if you have any insight on, we use people, uh, and their interactions with us, whether it be at

485
00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:13.920
the job or it be, um, and, and the, and the results from it, like, well, the fruit from it

486
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:21.600
with a job or with, um, friends, you know, relationships as being the thing that we use to,

487
00:34:21.600 --> 00:34:27.840
as a, like, kind of like the measuring stick of how am I doing? And am I, am I, am I,

488
00:34:28.880 --> 00:34:36.719
am I valuable? Am I doing things right? Am I, um, uh, I don't know. Am I being progressive

489
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:43.360
in life? Am I, is this working? Um, it's God pleased, just whatever. And we use their,

490
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:49.280
how they view us and how they interact with this and whether or not they want to spend time with

491
00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:57.760
this as actually is the thing on which we base, how we feel about ourselves. Like, can I feel

492
00:34:57.760 --> 00:35:00.160
good about myself? Is that a.

493
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.360
Is that a reality?

494
00:35:01.360 --> 00:35:02.080
I really am.

495
00:35:02.080 --> 00:35:02.600
I good.

496
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:05.200
Well, how are things looking right now?

497
00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:09.160
You know, how is so-and-so interacting with me or, or whatever.

498
00:35:09.160 --> 00:35:12.840
And even though we're not conscious of that, we can see by how we

499
00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:18.240
emotionally react when it's not there or how good we feel when it does happen,

500
00:35:18.680 --> 00:35:24.040
that we show that we're actually dependent on it, our relationship with us tends to

501
00:35:24.040 --> 00:35:31.960
be, uh, can be, um, uh, can be dependent on, we can find ourselves dependent on

502
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:34.640
how are there other people's view of us?

503
00:35:35.520 --> 00:35:38.520
And, um, and so therefore it's just very, it's very emotional.

504
00:35:38.520 --> 00:35:40.440
So that's what I'm talking about.

505
00:35:40.440 --> 00:35:46.560
When I say that we need to choose, you need to choose you, meaning like not in

506
00:35:46.560 --> 00:35:52.560
a selfish way or anything like that, but you choose that you're each you of all

507
00:35:52.560 --> 00:35:55.440
of the people that are out there in the world, you know, how you could choose a

508
00:35:55.440 --> 00:35:59.080
husband, you could choose, um, you could choose, you know, your friends, you could

509
00:35:59.080 --> 00:36:04.000
choose church, you could choose a mentor you choose, and you choose the different

510
00:36:04.000 --> 00:36:05.840
things and people have value.

511
00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:14.520
Choose you as the, as the most important person in your life, make yourself

512
00:36:14.920 --> 00:36:17.120
the most important thing to you.

513
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:18.600
Why?

514
00:36:18.600 --> 00:36:21.680
Because God said you're that valuable.

515
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:25.960
So choose to value the same thing that he does.

516
00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:35.400
And, and regardless of it, if other people understand, see what we are, um, you know,

517
00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:38.880
we're taught in Sunday school, we're taught in, you know, just like regular

518
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:45.800
school to all way that our value is constantly and how, and how people

519
00:36:45.800 --> 00:36:52.480
interact with us and the types of kind, affirming, encouraging things people say

520
00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:56.720
about us, or the really, you know, debilitating or detrimental things people

521
00:36:56.720 --> 00:36:59.400
say about us are all dependent on what we do.

522
00:37:00.040 --> 00:37:04.160
So therefore we, and how people interact with us, you know, so sometimes we're

523
00:37:04.160 --> 00:37:07.480
told, you know, oh, well, I don't know why this friend doesn't like me and whatever.

524
00:37:07.520 --> 00:37:11.240
Well, sweetheart, you know, well, what is your interactions with them?

525
00:37:11.240 --> 00:37:13.080
Then, you know, like lately, what have you done?

526
00:37:13.120 --> 00:37:15.520
Well, we were on the playground and then I did this well.

527
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:17.720
You did this and that hurt their feelings.

528
00:37:17.720 --> 00:37:19.600
And they probably just don't want to be friends with you anymore.

529
00:37:19.600 --> 00:37:20.120
And they, whatever.

530
00:37:20.120 --> 00:37:22.760
And we're just, we begin to make all of these connections.

531
00:37:23.600 --> 00:37:25.080
I'm only okay.

532
00:37:25.560 --> 00:37:25.960
Right.

533
00:37:26.280 --> 00:37:27.280
Everybody else.

534
00:37:27.600 --> 00:37:28.720
Interacting with me.

535
00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:29.720
Yeah.

536
00:37:29.720 --> 00:37:31.640
And then I'm only okay with me.

537
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:33.280
I only like me.

538
00:37:33.640 --> 00:37:33.920
Right.

539
00:37:33.920 --> 00:37:34.800
That's what people do.

540
00:37:36.040 --> 00:37:36.600
Yes.

541
00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:37.200
Yeah.

542
00:37:37.560 --> 00:37:41.640
So we're always looking for affirmation from the fruit that we're seeing in

543
00:37:41.640 --> 00:37:45.560
relationships or the fruit that we're seeing in our accomplishments, um, fruit

544
00:37:45.560 --> 00:37:48.600
that we're seeing in our, in our jobs, like how much money am I getting?

545
00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:51.560
Or do people like me or are my projects successful?

546
00:37:51.560 --> 00:37:53.120
Or am I given the projects I want?

547
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:56.040
Am I considered in meetings when I'm not there or whatever?

548
00:37:56.240 --> 00:38:03.600
We're using all of these as subconscious standards to determine to ourself, whether

549
00:38:03.600 --> 00:38:07.440
or not we're okay with ourself when we're at home alone, well, how is

550
00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:09.520
everything else out there with me?

551
00:38:10.240 --> 00:38:15.360
That's why social media, um, has just really, um, uh, uh, been

552
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:18.040
such a, such an issue for people.

553
00:38:18.360 --> 00:38:24.800
Um, and, uh, because they're using it as subconscious affirmation of themselves.

554
00:38:25.040 --> 00:38:29.600
So they get addicted because they have to, they're dependent on it

555
00:38:29.600 --> 00:38:34.480
in order to be okay by themselves, you know, but, and they can be more

556
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:38.600
okay by themselves as long as they have their phone to be able to scroll through

557
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:42.120
and to be able to make a post and to see how people respond to the post.

558
00:38:43.520 --> 00:38:47.240
Or if they comment on somebody else's posts, whether or not they commented back,

559
00:38:47.640 --> 00:38:48.480
well, how did they comment?

560
00:38:48.480 --> 00:38:52.040
Did they just do a heart or did they take the time to write something out?

561
00:38:52.040 --> 00:38:53.640
You know, all kinds of things.

562
00:38:53.920 --> 00:38:56.760
So anyway, that's why I'm saying you have to choose you.

563
00:38:57.400 --> 00:39:02.920
And I had to go through that when all of, uh, you know, when I talk about the fact

564
00:39:02.920 --> 00:39:06.280
that I made that decision to choose the Lord over everything else, Lord, I choose

565
00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:08.120
you over my lifestyle and all of that.

566
00:39:08.440 --> 00:39:12.520
One of the things that I did, well, I say I did it then.

567
00:39:12.640 --> 00:39:14.040
I think I did it earlier than that.

568
00:39:14.040 --> 00:39:14.800
I think I did it.

569
00:39:14.840 --> 00:39:23.520
Um, uh, months earlier, um, I had begun to, uh, choose me over.

570
00:39:24.040 --> 00:39:25.480
How people responded to me.

571
00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:30.160
So I did what I wanted and I lived the way that seemed natural to me.

572
00:39:30.520 --> 00:39:32.000
That, that seemed fun.

573
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:33.880
That seemed like it had promised.

574
00:39:33.880 --> 00:39:38.600
That seemed like it had potential that felt like I was like moving towards like

575
00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:45.120
accomplishing some dream, even if other people were going to think it was stupid

576
00:39:45.120 --> 00:39:46.800
or other people weren't going to like it.

577
00:39:47.560 --> 00:39:52.600
And I chose me and to express me and to discover me.

578
00:39:53.240 --> 00:39:55.120
I chose to enjoy me.

579
00:39:55.120 --> 00:39:57.320
I chose me as the, as.

580
00:39:59.040 --> 00:39:59.880
Uh, what?

581
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.320
How would you phrase that?

582
00:40:01.320 --> 00:40:04.760
I was the friend I chose.

583
00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:06.320
I was the best friend I chose.

584
00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:07.760
If I could choose, you know, best friend

585
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:09.680
of meeting all of these people and whatever,

586
00:40:09.680 --> 00:40:11.240
what would I choose?

587
00:40:11.240 --> 00:40:13.600
I chose me as my best friend.

588
00:40:13.600 --> 00:40:14.960
I chose to like me.

589
00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:16.080
I chose to enjoy me.

590
00:40:16.080 --> 00:40:18.440
I chose to discover me.

591
00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:22.320
And anyway, that made all of the difference.

592
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:25.320
So I could enjoy me when no one else was around

593
00:40:25.320 --> 00:40:27.640
and I can enjoy me when other people didn't like me

594
00:40:27.640 --> 00:40:29.920
or didn't understand why I was doing something.

595
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:33.360
Because what it is that I'm doing now looks like,

596
00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:34.640
oh, well, it's working.

597
00:40:34.640 --> 00:40:37.360
And Ashley, you're known for, like, in other words,

598
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:39.560
people know how to categorize you.

599
00:40:39.560 --> 00:40:40.840
Ashley does the rest intensive.

600
00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:41.880
Ashley does this.

601
00:40:41.880 --> 00:40:45.040
That is not how it started out, let me tell you.

602
00:40:45.040 --> 00:40:48.920
And even when I did it and it was successful, you know,

603
00:40:48.920 --> 00:40:51.080
like I started it and whatever.

604
00:40:51.080 --> 00:40:52.560
And that was after I started

605
00:40:52.560 --> 00:40:54.320
and failed at lots of different things.

606
00:40:54.320 --> 00:40:55.760
And that was just embarrassing.

607
00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:57.640
And that was hard, but I just kept going

608
00:40:57.640 --> 00:41:00.800
because I thought I choose a life.

609
00:41:01.680 --> 00:41:03.640
You know, I choose to just move forward.

610
00:41:03.640 --> 00:41:07.320
I choose to try something and to fall down

611
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:09.240
and to try something else,

612
00:41:09.240 --> 00:41:10.600
as opposed to being dependent

613
00:41:10.600 --> 00:41:12.920
on what was existing elsewhere.

614
00:41:12.920 --> 00:41:16.320
And then just, and try to make it,

615
00:41:16.320 --> 00:41:19.920
that may seem to make other people happy, you know,

616
00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:21.240
but it didn't make me happy.

617
00:41:21.240 --> 00:41:22.520
So what makes me happy?

618
00:41:22.520 --> 00:41:24.560
Well, I would like to try,

619
00:41:24.560 --> 00:41:25.960
I'm watching all of these other people

620
00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:27.520
leave their corporate job

621
00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:30.040
and they are creating their own businesses

622
00:41:30.040 --> 00:41:32.960
out of their, out of what they find fun.

623
00:41:34.200 --> 00:41:35.520
I like that idea.

624
00:41:35.520 --> 00:41:37.880
Work for myself from home.

625
00:41:37.880 --> 00:41:40.280
Cause I thought if I could literally design anything

626
00:41:40.280 --> 00:41:41.240
I wanted, what would it be?

627
00:41:41.240 --> 00:41:43.800
I was like, I would work for myself.

628
00:41:43.800 --> 00:41:45.320
I would have my own company.

629
00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:47.960
I would work online so I could be flexible.

630
00:41:47.960 --> 00:41:51.040
I could, the hours were mine.

631
00:41:51.040 --> 00:41:53.200
I only did the types of things that I wanted to do.

632
00:41:53.200 --> 00:41:54.400
Only worked with the types of people

633
00:41:54.400 --> 00:41:55.720
that I want to work with.

634
00:41:55.720 --> 00:41:57.600
I mean, it sounds like a pipe dream,

635
00:41:57.600 --> 00:41:58.720
but that's what I wanted.

636
00:41:58.720 --> 00:42:00.560
And that's the, that's like the wishlist order

637
00:42:00.560 --> 00:42:02.040
that I put in.

638
00:42:02.040 --> 00:42:05.320
And so I thought, how can I make this work?

639
00:42:05.320 --> 00:42:06.400
You know, I did it with the Lord.

640
00:42:06.400 --> 00:42:08.120
So it's not like I was just doing it all on my own,

641
00:42:08.120 --> 00:42:12.720
but, and anyway, and it,

642
00:42:12.720 --> 00:42:15.560
so when you do that and we step out in that,

643
00:42:15.560 --> 00:42:19.720
you fall in your face and your,

644
00:42:19.720 --> 00:42:21.360
and it affects your reputation,

645
00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:23.680
it affects your reputation sometimes with your family

646
00:42:23.680 --> 00:42:25.200
or with your friends.

647
00:42:25.240 --> 00:42:28.480
And, but I just continue to choose me

648
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:30.560
over my family and friends.

649
00:42:30.560 --> 00:42:34.240
I chose me over relationship with my family

650
00:42:34.240 --> 00:42:35.800
and relationship with my friends.

651
00:42:35.800 --> 00:42:37.360
I chose myself to that degree

652
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:40.600
because God says that they need me

653
00:42:40.600 --> 00:42:43.760
and I can't give them me if I'm not giving me.

654
00:42:43.760 --> 00:42:46.760
So I have to choose me more than them

655
00:42:46.760 --> 00:42:49.200
in order to have me to give.

656
00:42:49.200 --> 00:42:50.040
Right.

657
00:42:50.040 --> 00:42:51.920
So, and I don't mean again,

658
00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:53.920
we're not talking selfishness or anything.

659
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:55.440
We're just talking about me living life

660
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:57.000
the way that I want to.

661
00:42:57.000 --> 00:43:00.600
We're not talking about me imposing that on anybody else,

662
00:43:00.600 --> 00:43:03.320
but the fact that, well, this is what I want to try.

663
00:43:03.320 --> 00:43:04.880
This is how I want to live.

664
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:08.000
And I'm not, and I'm not requiring other people

665
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:11.560
to like financially support me to do that

666
00:43:11.560 --> 00:43:13.200
and that they have to or anything like that.

667
00:43:13.200 --> 00:43:16.160
No, I'm going to do it between me and the Lord or whatever.

668
00:43:16.160 --> 00:43:19.480
And so I embarrassed myself for a long time,

669
00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:20.480
you know, but I just kept,

670
00:43:20.480 --> 00:43:22.360
but I wasn't that embarrassed because again,

671
00:43:22.360 --> 00:43:24.920
I had chosen me over my family,

672
00:43:24.920 --> 00:43:27.240
kind of like you choose your husband over your family,

673
00:43:27.240 --> 00:43:29.640
you know, and it feels really weird because you're like,

674
00:43:29.640 --> 00:43:31.480
well, I've known them so much longer,

675
00:43:32.440 --> 00:43:34.800
but if so, it feels like you're abandoning people

676
00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:36.600
and it feels like you're abandoning a way of life.

677
00:43:36.600 --> 00:43:38.640
It feels like you're whatever.

678
00:43:38.640 --> 00:43:41.400
Can you, can you see me, hear me?

679
00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:45.200
Yeah, I think you're back now.

680
00:43:45.200 --> 00:43:46.040
Okay.

681
00:43:46.040 --> 00:43:48.080
So anyway, it feels like you're abandoning people.

682
00:43:48.080 --> 00:43:49.120
It feels wrong.

683
00:43:49.120 --> 00:43:51.200
And, but you do, you just choose,

684
00:43:51.200 --> 00:43:54.960
you just choose yourself and honor God in that way

685
00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:59.040
that you were, you were your first mission field.

686
00:43:59.040 --> 00:44:01.480
You were the first aspect of creation

687
00:44:01.480 --> 00:44:03.400
that God entrusted you with.

688
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:06.480
So think of it that way,

689
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:11.240
is that you were who God has most entrusted you with.

690
00:44:11.240 --> 00:44:12.520
Even above your husband,

691
00:44:12.520 --> 00:44:14.160
when you have a husband above your kids,

692
00:44:14.160 --> 00:44:17.160
God entrusted you with you first.

693
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:22.440
And so, so treat that with, with, you know,

694
00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:25.280
with love, with kindness, with respect, you know,

695
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:30.200
and, but anyway, and then eventually, you know,

696
00:44:30.200 --> 00:44:32.560
I would just expressed more and more of who it is

697
00:44:32.560 --> 00:44:35.520
that I was and gave more and more of who it is that I was.

698
00:44:35.520 --> 00:44:38.600
And when I gave out who I was,

699
00:44:38.600 --> 00:44:41.160
what I ended up giving out was something that

700
00:44:41.160 --> 00:44:43.960
you put a name on it and it's called the rest intensive.

701
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:47.920
So one of my, one of my gifts and strengths and desires

702
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:51.280
was to go through the mess with people.

703
00:44:51.280 --> 00:44:53.200
Another, and I learned that when I was in business,

704
00:44:53.200 --> 00:44:55.920
that I was somebody who was willing to go walk

705
00:44:55.920 --> 00:44:58.120
with people through change.

706
00:44:58.120 --> 00:45:00.080
A lot of people, in fact, most people.

707
00:45:00.400 --> 00:45:04.720
don't like that. They all say it, but they abandon people, you know, midstream or whatever,

708
00:45:04.720 --> 00:45:09.280
because it gets messy. Sometimes they are in the line of fire. They're the ones helping and they're

709
00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:14.640
in the line of fire, you know, and I'm just, God has just given it to me to walk people through,

710
00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:20.800
through messes. Now, one of the things that I learned is he's given it to me to, to walk people

711
00:45:20.800 --> 00:45:27.920
who are here, walk through their mess to here, not from here to here and not from here to here.

712
00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:33.520
They have to be here, but if they're here, God has given me the grace to walk them through

713
00:45:33.520 --> 00:45:42.320
all of the emotional trauma and healing to get to here. And, and so I wanted to offer that,

714
00:45:42.320 --> 00:45:46.880
but I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know what that would look like or whatever. So and,

715
00:45:46.880 --> 00:45:51.200
but then I just thought, well, what is it that I like to talk about? I love to talk about the Bible,

716
00:45:51.200 --> 00:45:55.280
love talk about God, love to help people, you know, in their relationship with God and I love

717
00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:59.680
business. And so I saw, well, how do I combine that? I was like, well, Christian business center.

718
00:45:59.680 --> 00:46:04.320
So I started doing that. And then when I started, but, and then when I started talking about

719
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:08.880
business, people started asking me, well, actually, how do I do that in life? How do I do that with my

720
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:16.080
at home? And so then it evolved, but anyway so the reason I, I, you know, just wanted to kind

721
00:46:16.080 --> 00:46:20.960
of paint a picture of all of that is it started because I just gave me. And one of the things

722
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:28.480
that I've had to do with this past rest intensive and the one that I'm going into is I'm having to

723
00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:38.160
change how I do the rest intensive based on who I am now. So I still, I can't change into something

724
00:46:38.160 --> 00:46:43.680
outside of me that, well, this is how it works. And this is what people expect. And this is what

725
00:46:43.680 --> 00:46:51.360
I've done before. Cause then I'm trying to maintain an inanimate, you know, thing. It's not,

726
00:46:51.360 --> 00:46:56.240
it's not me. And what I need is I need to be giving them me because that's, what's been effective.

727
00:46:56.240 --> 00:47:03.840
It's bringing the spirit of who God and I are in him in heaven, into the earth. And then when I do

728
00:47:03.840 --> 00:47:12.240
that, well, then then that's when things change because it's allowing God to touch people. So

729
00:47:12.240 --> 00:47:16.560
that means that over the past three years or two and a half or however long it's been,

730
00:47:16.560 --> 00:47:22.800
I've changed. So therefore that means that if I'm giving myself out, what the rest intensive

731
00:47:22.800 --> 00:47:27.600
looks like, if the rest intensive is simply Ashley pouring out who Ashley is into the earth,

732
00:47:27.600 --> 00:47:32.320
and then whoever is attracted to that, you know, and helped by that can, can join it. Well,

733
00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:36.320
then it means that if Ashley's changed, well, then it means what the rest intensive looks like

734
00:47:36.320 --> 00:47:43.280
changes. So my point is that, how do we get to all of that? It's you choose you, you have to

735
00:47:43.280 --> 00:47:48.640
remember that you are who God has entrusted you with. So what is it when you are, when you choose

736
00:47:48.640 --> 00:47:55.360
you and you value you without, and not looking at any other standards other than who does God say

737
00:47:55.360 --> 00:48:03.600
that you are? And then, and then discover more of who it is that you are like, what do you like

738
00:48:03.600 --> 00:48:07.600
to do? And how do you like to do it? And how do you like to spend your time from the time

739
00:48:07.600 --> 00:48:11.840
that you get up? How long do you like to spend getting ready? Do you enjoy putting on your makeup?

740
00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:15.760
Do you not enjoy that time? And it's just this bothersome thing that you'd like, try to get

741
00:48:15.760 --> 00:48:19.920
through as fast as possible, but what you really enjoy is the shower. And then what you really

742
00:48:19.920 --> 00:48:26.160
enjoy is like the whole little ritual and routine of doing your tea in the morning or your coffee

743
00:48:26.160 --> 00:48:31.920
or your, or your, you know, or your, I don't know your new breakfast. And that's what you enjoy.

744
00:48:32.880 --> 00:48:41.280
You start coming into connection with you, these silly little things that we think are childish

745
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:44.400
that were like, Oh my goodness, I'm an adult. I'm so much past that. That's what you learn when

746
00:48:44.400 --> 00:48:50.240
you're five. No, it's just that five-year-olds have a greater connection with themselves.

747
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:56.000
And we've lost it. We've been told to ignore ourselves and just start choosing the outside

748
00:48:56.000 --> 00:49:02.800
world, to choose things outside of us, to choose systems, principles, politics, laws, you know,

749
00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:08.160
you know, physics, you know, things out there and to figure out how we can harness them to get what

750
00:49:08.160 --> 00:49:13.360
we want out of life. And we're losing the connection with ourselves. So those little

751
00:49:13.360 --> 00:49:18.160
things aren't childish, those little things and, and, and focusing on the little things,

752
00:49:18.160 --> 00:49:22.960
focusing on how you feel, focusing on what textures you'd like, just, just the little

753
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:31.360
things in life are ways that you honor who God's made you to be by becoming sensitive to how you

754
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:36.320
feel and interact with things and, or what it is that you want to do, or, you know, just kind of

755
00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:45.840
whatever, and then just allow. And, um, and those little steps, um, are interestingly, very powerful

756
00:49:45.840 --> 00:49:51.920
in helping you practice choosing yourself because it's giving, it's taking you through a discovery

757
00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:57.280
process of learning who you are again. And then it actually, when you discover who you are,

758
00:49:57.280 --> 00:49:59.840
there's something about it that really, that you.

759
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.920
You really like you, you really enjoy you.

760
00:50:03.920 --> 00:50:06.480
So you're entrusted with you and that will,

761
00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:08.800
and you will become your best friend.

762
00:50:08.800 --> 00:50:10.080
So, and I'm sure you already are,

763
00:50:10.080 --> 00:50:12.160
but my point is to more of a degree,

764
00:50:12.160 --> 00:50:15.000
like to whatever degree that you're not choosing you

765
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:16.400
because you're always choosing

766
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:18.000
what other people think about you

767
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:21.320
in order to tell yourself to yourself that you're okay,

768
00:50:21.320 --> 00:50:23.800
that you feel okay, or that you like you.

769
00:50:23.800 --> 00:50:26.480
So how do you start extricating yourself from that?

770
00:50:26.480 --> 00:50:28.680
How do you start breaking those connections?

771
00:50:29.680 --> 00:50:34.640
Anyway, and so, and also another, just clarification,

772
00:50:34.640 --> 00:50:38.240
choosing you is choosing your value and your significance

773
00:50:38.240 --> 00:50:41.200
in you as an entity and a spirit.

774
00:50:41.200 --> 00:50:43.680
It's not choosing self-protection.

775
00:50:44.640 --> 00:50:48.760
Like, oh, well, I'm in a situation I don't like myself.

776
00:50:48.760 --> 00:50:50.760
No, that's God's job.

777
00:50:50.760 --> 00:50:53.960
But one of the ways that you can partner with that

778
00:50:54.080 --> 00:50:56.800
is remembering who,

779
00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:00.920
that is remembering who does God say that you are?

780
00:51:00.920 --> 00:51:03.240
And then you choose to value that.

781
00:51:03.240 --> 00:51:04.560
And then now that you value that,

782
00:51:04.560 --> 00:51:06.920
now that you're rested in the fact that God's protecting,

783
00:51:06.920 --> 00:51:09.200
God's providing for me, I already have everything.

784
00:51:09.200 --> 00:51:10.040
I'm not in lack.

785
00:51:10.040 --> 00:51:11.080
I can't be threatened.

786
00:51:11.080 --> 00:51:15.200
Okay, so now from this position, what do I wanna do?

787
00:51:15.200 --> 00:51:16.640
Do I still wanna go take a bath?

788
00:51:16.640 --> 00:51:18.960
Do I still wanna remove myself from that relationship?

789
00:51:18.960 --> 00:51:21.600
Do I still want to watch Netflix?

790
00:51:21.600 --> 00:51:24.560
Do I still want to whatever?

791
00:51:24.560 --> 00:51:26.880
And if you do, then that's great

792
00:51:26.880 --> 00:51:29.360
because you're now doing it from a healthy place,

793
00:51:29.360 --> 00:51:31.960
not from a self-preservation place

794
00:51:31.960 --> 00:51:33.760
because that doesn't have God in it.

795
00:51:34.680 --> 00:51:37.560
So they can both look the same,

796
00:51:37.560 --> 00:51:39.880
can both be sitting on a couch watching Netflix,

797
00:51:39.880 --> 00:51:41.480
but one is doing it in self-protection

798
00:51:41.480 --> 00:51:44.160
because believing they're abandoned and not good enough.

799
00:51:44.160 --> 00:51:46.640
And the other is doing it because they're valued.

800
00:51:49.160 --> 00:51:51.080
Wow, that's so good.

801
00:51:51.120 --> 00:51:53.800
Yeah, I was wondering if you had any teachings

802
00:51:53.800 --> 00:51:57.680
or recordings that you'd done on just like identity.

803
00:51:57.680 --> 00:51:59.600
We hear the church so much talk about

804
00:51:59.600 --> 00:52:01.520
like your identity in Christ and your identity in Christ,

805
00:52:01.520 --> 00:52:03.080
and we can quote the verses

806
00:52:03.080 --> 00:52:04.680
like I'm fearfully wonderfully made

807
00:52:04.680 --> 00:52:09.680
and the Lord knit me together in my mother's womb.

808
00:52:09.680 --> 00:52:12.040
But when we start questioning those things

809
00:52:12.040 --> 00:52:14.240
about like, who am I in Christ?

810
00:52:14.240 --> 00:52:16.440
Like, what does that actually mean?

811
00:52:16.440 --> 00:52:18.080
Or when I start looking in the mirror

812
00:52:18.080 --> 00:52:20.720
and questioning my physical makeup,

813
00:52:21.400 --> 00:52:23.200
and I'm like, oh, I actually,

814
00:52:23.200 --> 00:52:24.760
I'm struggling to believe that I'm beautiful

815
00:52:24.760 --> 00:52:26.560
or I'm not beautiful enough,

816
00:52:28.200 --> 00:52:30.000
or I'm not this enough or I'm not that enough.

817
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.800
Like, where do we, I mean, there's sporadic scriptures.

818
00:52:32.800 --> 00:52:34.240
You can Google identity scriptures,

819
00:52:34.240 --> 00:52:37.720
but where do we actually get that identity

820
00:52:37.720 --> 00:52:40.400
of like who I am in him

821
00:52:40.400 --> 00:52:44.080
and that he created me perfectly and made no mistakes?

822
00:52:45.440 --> 00:52:49.000
I actually did it a bit different.

823
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:50.600
And sorry, I am paying attention.

824
00:52:51.480 --> 00:52:53.600
I'm looking through my teachings to see

825
00:52:53.600 --> 00:52:55.840
if there is anything that I,

826
00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:58.160
where I just talk a bit more about identity.

827
00:52:58.160 --> 00:52:59.600
I mean, there's, where is it?

828
00:53:01.160 --> 00:53:05.120
I don't, I mean, I do some of that.

829
00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:09.000
Like I have one caught in Create Space,

830
00:53:09.000 --> 00:53:11.000
Change Your Life 2022.

831
00:53:11.000 --> 00:53:13.240
The session one is talking about your identity

832
00:53:13.240 --> 00:53:14.520
and role as a king.

833
00:53:15.480 --> 00:53:17.080
So I have that.

834
00:53:18.080 --> 00:53:20.720
And then I had one for, what was it?

835
00:53:20.720 --> 00:53:24.080
The very, yeah, I was gonna say the very first one

836
00:53:24.080 --> 00:53:27.520
of session one of Amish Country,

837
00:53:27.520 --> 00:53:28.840
talk about rest and identity.

838
00:53:28.840 --> 00:53:33.320
But some of those are just me rephrasing,

839
00:53:33.320 --> 00:53:36.760
or just the same teachings that you've already heard.

840
00:53:36.760 --> 00:53:40.240
I'm just reteaching them or whatever.

841
00:53:40.240 --> 00:53:41.840
And this time I talked about the fact that,

842
00:53:41.840 --> 00:53:43.840
hey, by the way, when I'm talking about

843
00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:48.080
these subjects in this series over here,

844
00:53:48.080 --> 00:53:50.320
I named these things.

845
00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:52.520
I labeled it with these labels.

846
00:53:52.520 --> 00:53:53.640
But in this other one,

847
00:53:53.640 --> 00:53:55.360
now I'm calling it rest and identity,

848
00:53:55.360 --> 00:53:56.680
because that's also what we're talking about.

849
00:53:56.680 --> 00:53:58.720
And I just kind of like labeled them different.

850
00:53:58.720 --> 00:54:01.000
And, but as far as like anything new,

851
00:54:02.720 --> 00:54:04.160
I can't, I mean, new,

852
00:54:04.160 --> 00:54:06.040
meaning like anything that isn't already

853
00:54:06.040 --> 00:54:10.320
in my core teachings, I can't find anything.

854
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:13.440
So the way that I did it,

855
00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:16.280
so I just wanted to check on that really quick.

856
00:54:16.280 --> 00:54:18.840
The way that I did it was,

857
00:54:18.840 --> 00:54:23.840
I just, I chose God not knowing who he was.

858
00:54:24.720 --> 00:54:28.120
I knew generally that he said he's love and he's goodness.

859
00:54:28.120 --> 00:54:29.080
Okay.

860
00:54:29.080 --> 00:54:31.440
You know, he's holy, he's omniscient, he's omnipresent.

861
00:54:31.440 --> 00:54:32.480
But here's the thing,

862
00:54:32.480 --> 00:54:35.360
they're words to me, I didn't understand what they meant.

863
00:54:37.240 --> 00:54:41.120
And now I could act like I understood what they meant

864
00:54:41.120 --> 00:54:42.800
when I would teach, like,

865
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:44.200
I don't know if I were to have taught

866
00:54:44.200 --> 00:54:46.800
like five-year-old or 10-year-old Sunday school,

867
00:54:46.800 --> 00:54:50.320
but really, truly, in a life-changing way,

868
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:52.240
I did not know what they meant,

869
00:54:52.240 --> 00:54:54.360
but I had to just choose that it was real

870
00:54:54.360 --> 00:54:55.640
without understanding it,

871
00:54:55.640 --> 00:54:57.880
because understanding it means,

872
00:54:57.880 --> 00:54:59.800
if I don't choose it,

873
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.560
I understand it, it means that I'm putting a condition on it.

874
00:55:03.200 --> 00:55:04.640
I have to understand.

875
00:55:04.640 --> 00:55:07.040
I have to agree before I'll accept it.

876
00:55:07.040 --> 00:55:10.000
And God wants to be accepted unconditionally.

877
00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:13.760
So what I did is I chose it, chose that it was true.

878
00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:16.480
And yes, I'm getting to our identity part, but it starts with,

879
00:55:16.480 --> 00:55:22.400
with God because he's the foundation on which we based our, our, our, um, uh, our,

880
00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:28.480
our introduction, so to speak to who it is that we are.

881
00:55:28.480 --> 00:55:32.320
So anyway, so with him, I just chose, okay, God, you say that your love now,

882
00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:33.360
show me what that is.

883
00:55:33.360 --> 00:55:34.000
I choose that.

884
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:34.560
It's true.

885
00:55:34.560 --> 00:55:35.680
I choose to receive it.

886
00:55:36.800 --> 00:55:40.800
And I choose that anything that happens, Lord is your loving.

887
00:55:40.800 --> 00:55:42.880
It's you expressing yourself in love and goodness.

888
00:55:42.880 --> 00:55:46.880
The things that you, that happened in my life, are you expressing your loving your

889
00:55:46.880 --> 00:55:52.160
goodness, but now Lord, please show me what that actually means.

890
00:55:53.120 --> 00:55:56.960
I no longer get to, to dictate or do that.

891
00:55:56.960 --> 00:56:02.720
If such and such happens that you're not being loving to me anymore, or you're not

892
00:56:02.720 --> 00:56:03.280
being good.

893
00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:05.680
I no longer get to determine that.

894
00:56:05.680 --> 00:56:10.480
I no longer, I, I, and I did that in a way, like I told the Lord, or would I choose

895
00:56:10.480 --> 00:56:10.640
that?

896
00:56:10.640 --> 00:56:11.760
I will no longer do that.

897
00:56:12.480 --> 00:56:13.200
I choose that.

898
00:56:13.920 --> 00:56:18.000
You are loved regardless of the circumstances, situations in which I'm finding myself.

899
00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:27.680
And then I would just look expectantly at life brand new, trying to figure it out by

900
00:56:27.680 --> 00:56:28.960
trying to see God.

901
00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:30.720
So things would happen.

902
00:56:30.720 --> 00:56:31.840
A bill would come in.

903
00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:32.720
Okay.

904
00:56:32.720 --> 00:56:34.080
Well, okay.

905
00:56:34.080 --> 00:56:37.360
Is God still love and goodness in this situation?

906
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:38.480
Yes, he is.

907
00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:49.280
You know is, and is he you know, you know, who is he to me right now?

908
00:56:49.280 --> 00:56:50.240
Well, he's still loving.

909
00:56:50.240 --> 00:56:52.800
He's still going to still understand, but he's love.

910
00:56:53.520 --> 00:56:54.960
And so I'm choosing that anyway.

911
00:56:54.960 --> 00:56:56.480
So I would do that kind of thing.

912
00:56:56.480 --> 00:57:01.280
And then along at the same time, I would choose who he said about me.

913
00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:06.080
I would choose that he was fully, that he fully loved and accepted me regardless of

914
00:57:06.080 --> 00:57:07.280
what I was doing.

915
00:57:07.280 --> 00:57:12.960
I think I described this maybe in one of the teachings or something where I said where

916
00:57:12.960 --> 00:57:22.000
I, where I kind of walked y'all through when I was, when I, how I was lying in bed one

917
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:26.240
morning and I hadn't started work and I was just feeling condemned because I hadn't started

918
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:26.720
to work yet.

919
00:57:26.720 --> 00:57:28.800
And, and I was working for myself.

920
00:57:28.800 --> 00:57:30.560
In other words, I was trying to start a business.

921
00:57:31.360 --> 00:57:36.240
And so that was my work every day was simply trying to figure out how on earth to make

922
00:57:36.240 --> 00:57:37.040
this thing work.

923
00:57:37.680 --> 00:57:40.320
And it wasn't like I had clients or anything.

924
00:57:40.320 --> 00:57:42.000
I was just trying to figure out how to make things work.

925
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:47.120
So and I would do it like, I don't know, sometimes between 10 to 14 hours a day.

926
00:57:47.120 --> 00:57:47.840
It was ridiculous.

927
00:57:49.360 --> 00:57:55.760
And I was lying in bed one morning and I, and I was just feeling condemned for not working

928
00:57:55.760 --> 00:58:00.800
yet, but I was also feeling frustrated and defeated and like, Lord, what, what's the

929
00:58:00.800 --> 00:58:01.280
point?

930
00:58:01.280 --> 00:58:05.040
You know, it's I'm today's just going to be the same day as every other day past that

931
00:58:05.600 --> 00:58:06.960
every other day prior to that.

932
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:10.720
In fact, that I wake up and I try to figure it all out.

933
00:58:10.720 --> 00:58:15.040
I go to bed without getting much progress and no clients.

934
00:58:15.600 --> 00:58:20.640
And then I, you know, I wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

935
00:58:20.640 --> 00:58:25.040
And Lord, I just don't, I I'm trying to delay and procrastinate the beginning of that dad

936
00:58:25.040 --> 00:58:26.560
gun thing as long as possible.

937
00:58:26.560 --> 00:58:30.240
That's why I'm laying here, you know, and then I thought, okay, actually, what's your

938
00:58:30.240 --> 00:58:30.720
issue?

939
00:58:30.720 --> 00:58:32.240
And I thought, I don't believe God loves me.

940
00:58:33.200 --> 00:58:34.240
I just don't.

941
00:58:34.240 --> 00:58:36.000
So I don't believe I'm okay.

942
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:37.280
I don't believe I'm enough.

943
00:58:37.280 --> 00:58:39.200
I don't believe, you know, I'm whatever.

944
00:58:39.200 --> 00:58:42.480
So I thought, okay, well, I've struggled with that my whole life.

945
00:58:43.120 --> 00:58:48.240
So this is, and this life is the result that I've gotten from believing that.

946
00:58:48.240 --> 00:58:50.640
So if I want a different life, I've got to believe something different.

947
00:58:50.640 --> 00:58:55.440
So I'm like, okay, the only thing I have, I have tried to believe that God loved me

948
00:58:55.440 --> 00:58:57.280
and that hasn't worked in all these years.

949
00:58:57.280 --> 00:58:59.120
So now I'm just going to choose that it's true.

950
00:59:00.080 --> 00:59:02.720
And that's how I began to learn how to choose things with intentionality.

951
00:59:02.720 --> 00:59:07.440
So I got up and I said, okay, I choose that God loves me unconditionally right now.

952
00:59:07.440 --> 00:59:08.880
I mean, he really does.

953
00:59:08.880 --> 00:59:10.720
I choose that it is a reality.

954
00:59:10.720 --> 00:59:14.880
And so it was, and that there's nothing that I have to do that.

955
00:59:14.880 --> 00:59:19.040
I can be who I am and do what it is that I, whatever the heck I want to do right now.

956
00:59:19.040 --> 00:59:22.240
And he loves me and he accepts me and he's not condemning me.

957
00:59:22.240 --> 00:59:22.880
Why?

958
00:59:22.880 --> 00:59:24.080
Because that's what he said.

959
00:59:24.720 --> 00:59:29.680
So if that's what he said, then I'm going to basically require him to carry out his

960
00:59:29.680 --> 00:59:32.400
word by acting like it, by me acting like it.

961
00:59:32.720 --> 00:59:37.040
So I get up and I made my bed and I took however long I wanted to take in the shower

962
00:59:37.040 --> 00:59:42.160
and in, in making and putting on my makeup and then eventually making breakfast and then

963
00:59:42.160 --> 00:59:46.160
taking it all and making my tea and then going out on the balcony and sitting in there for

964
00:59:46.160 --> 00:59:48.400
however long I wanted still not working.

965
00:59:49.280 --> 00:59:52.320
You know, which probably, you know, to you probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but

966
00:59:52.320 --> 00:59:59.200
in the moment that was very scary for me because I had such a high sense of responsibility.

967
00:59:59.200 --> 00:59:59.760
Like.

968
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.040
Ashley, you're being lazy, Ashley.

969
01:00:02.040 --> 01:00:05.080
You could be caught, which I couldn't be caught.

970
01:00:05.080 --> 01:00:07.680
I mean, I wasn't worrying for anybody, but I'm like, I can be caught.

971
01:00:08.120 --> 01:00:10.680
God get really mad at me or whatever, you know?

972
01:00:10.680 --> 01:00:14.680
And I chose, no, he says that, that I'm worth that.

973
01:00:15.240 --> 01:00:18.680
So as I did each thing that day, as I was, as I was in the shower, as I was

974
01:00:18.680 --> 01:00:23.960
putting on my makeup, as I was doing, doing, um, as I was doing, uh, uh, making

975
01:00:23.960 --> 01:00:27.000
breakfast, I chose God is loving me right now.

976
01:00:27.040 --> 01:00:29.280
I mean, I thought that intentionally God is loving me.

977
01:00:29.280 --> 01:00:33.360
He's enjoying me doing these things that he created to be part of

978
01:00:33.360 --> 01:00:35.320
life, the part of life experience.

979
01:00:36.360 --> 01:00:41.680
And, uh, so, um, anyway, that is weird as that sounds.

980
01:00:41.720 --> 01:00:43.320
That is what changed me.

981
01:00:43.400 --> 01:00:46.760
And that is what helps me connect with my identity is my

982
01:00:46.760 --> 01:00:48.520
identity is not a personality.

983
01:00:48.520 --> 01:00:49.240
It's not a kid.

984
01:00:49.240 --> 01:00:52.160
It's not certain character, a combination of characteristics.

985
01:00:52.760 --> 01:00:54.800
It's in my union with him.

986
01:00:55.520 --> 01:01:00.240
So it's very basic and it's very hard for me to understand, but I just needed

987
01:01:00.240 --> 01:01:05.080
to connect with me at a, at the very root level, at the very root level of

988
01:01:05.080 --> 01:01:07.200
my spirit, connecting to God's spirit.

989
01:01:07.960 --> 01:01:10.040
Not who is he made me be?

990
01:01:10.080 --> 01:01:12.000
Well, I'm, he says I'm righteous.

991
01:01:12.040 --> 01:01:15.920
And he says, I miss them, says I'm that I do have some of those things.

992
01:01:15.920 --> 01:01:20.600
Like he says that, that he loves me or he does, you know, he says that I have

993
01:01:20.640 --> 01:01:23.040
never sinned, so therefore I'm perfect.

994
01:01:23.200 --> 01:01:26.480
There were certain basics that I chose.

995
01:01:27.280 --> 01:01:31.800
And then it, those basics are so life transforming and so powerful.

996
01:01:31.800 --> 01:01:33.400
I just anchored myself in those.

997
01:01:34.000 --> 01:01:34.920
I didn't.

998
01:01:35.440 --> 01:01:39.400
And then the fact that he, he protect that he's protector, not that I'm

999
01:01:39.400 --> 01:01:44.280
protected, that he's protector, that he's provider and there, and I'm in it.

1000
01:01:44.600 --> 01:01:46.200
So therefore I have the protection.

1001
01:01:46.200 --> 01:01:46.920
I have the provision.

1002
01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:47.720
I have the whatever.

1003
01:01:48.160 --> 01:01:53.360
Um, so I just, uh, that is what I based my identity and not in things like I'm

1004
01:01:53.360 --> 01:01:59.560
trying to figure out, um, who I am and what I like, cause those things are,

1005
01:01:59.560 --> 01:02:03.960
aren't our identity, those are just aspects of, okay, whoever it is that I

1006
01:02:03.960 --> 01:02:06.440
am, my identity, how do I express that?

1007
01:02:06.440 --> 01:02:08.360
I express it by liking these things.

1008
01:02:08.360 --> 01:02:10.800
I express it by being fascinated by these textures.

1009
01:02:10.800 --> 01:02:15.680
I be, I express it by liking these particular foods or my body responding

1010
01:02:15.680 --> 01:02:20.200
to these types of things in particular ways, that's, that's not our identity.

1011
01:02:20.240 --> 01:02:21.320
That's not who we are.

1012
01:02:21.360 --> 01:02:24.000
That's just getting to know how we choose to express ourselves.

1013
01:02:24.480 --> 01:02:28.040
So I just had to choose myself at that very basic root level.

1014
01:02:28.320 --> 01:02:32.920
And then, and then just chose, okay, that is how valuable I am.

1015
01:02:33.120 --> 01:02:33.920
How would I live?

1016
01:02:34.400 --> 01:02:37.240
Well, I, I pay attention to what I appreciate.

1017
01:02:38.040 --> 01:02:40.680
You know, I try to discover what it is that I appreciate.

1018
01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:45.080
I'd spend time with me because I choose me as my best friend.

1019
01:02:45.080 --> 01:02:47.400
I choose that I'm the thing that God has most entrusted

1020
01:02:47.400 --> 01:02:48.280
me with that kind of thing.

1021
01:02:48.280 --> 01:02:50.440
So that is what I kind of.

1022
01:02:51.400 --> 01:02:53.840
At how I did the development process.

1023
01:02:53.840 --> 01:02:59.680
I chose God and chose me and then tried to discover how, tried to

1024
01:02:59.680 --> 01:03:03.200
spend time because I valued me then.

1025
01:03:03.560 --> 01:03:06.880
So it's kind of, and the reason I put them in that order is everything's

1026
01:03:06.880 --> 01:03:10.720
dependent on everything else because God's this, because I choose he's this.

1027
01:03:11.040 --> 01:03:14.000
Then I choose that I must have an identity.

1028
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:17.840
And I, and I choose that, you know, the valuable identity.

1029
01:03:18.080 --> 01:03:21.160
And then because of that, well, my goodness, if I'm that valuable,

1030
01:03:21.160 --> 01:03:22.320
I want to know that person.

1031
01:03:23.040 --> 01:03:25.280
I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to invest in that person.

1032
01:03:25.280 --> 01:03:28.480
I'm invest my time, my, my interest, my whatever in that person.

1033
01:03:28.800 --> 01:03:29.520
And I do that.

1034
01:03:30.200 --> 01:03:38.240
Um, so, um, anyway, I, that is how I did it and it happened rather fast.

1035
01:03:38.280 --> 01:03:40.440
Now, yes, there's the development process to it.

1036
01:03:40.440 --> 01:03:44.000
And the fact that you just learn, learn more and more about yourself.

1037
01:03:44.040 --> 01:03:44.440
Yes.

1038
01:03:44.480 --> 01:03:50.200
But it really, um, the power is in the choosing.

1039
01:03:50.760 --> 01:03:57.000
And so if you really get serious and you make a very solid decision

1040
01:03:57.200 --> 01:04:01.920
for each one of those things, it breaks something at a very root level,

1041
01:04:01.960 --> 01:04:05.400
you know, break breaks, you know, any chains or oppression at a very root

1042
01:04:05.400 --> 01:04:10.920
level and things can happen and, and, and completely turn on their

1043
01:04:10.920 --> 01:04:14.920
head very, very fast, very fast.

1044
01:04:15.160 --> 01:04:17.680
I mean, you think about how much you've changed, how much you changed in the

1045
01:04:17.680 --> 01:04:22.240
first six weeks and how much you changed in the second six weeks, we're talking

1046
01:04:22.240 --> 01:04:26.560
about like their aspects of this, because you know how to have a foundation of

1047
01:04:26.560 --> 01:04:31.520
like choosing, choosing things more and more, you know, this choosing, these

1048
01:04:31.520 --> 01:04:35.760
other choosing things that I'm talking about can cause things to happen even

1049
01:04:35.960 --> 01:04:42.280
faster because they're the very root reasons why, uh, root things

1050
01:04:42.280 --> 01:04:43.440
that have to be addressed.

1051
01:04:44.040 --> 01:04:47.640
So if you change the root things, then, oh my word, your entire life

1052
01:04:47.640 --> 01:04:49.600
that's built off of that changes.

1053
01:04:49.920 --> 01:04:51.440
Everything should start shifting.

1054
01:04:53.040 --> 01:04:56.040
I know it's not flashy, but it's what works.

1055
01:04:56.480 --> 01:04:56.840
Yeah.

1056
01:04:56.840 --> 01:04:59.960
I mean, works where it changed, it literally.

1057
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.240
transforms you. Um, so anyway, I know we're, I know we're a bit over time and that you,

1058
01:05:06.240 --> 01:05:12.440
you're in the middle of a work day. So I wanted to honor that on your time too. Yeah. I could

1059
01:05:12.440 --> 01:05:18.160
go on and on for days, just picking your brain. You have so much wisdom. Um, I'm glad that

1060
01:05:18.160 --> 01:05:22.920
you've enjoyed the programs and that it's been helpful and that you found, you found

1061
01:05:22.920 --> 01:05:30.000
some exciting, um, you know, uh, healing and everything internal and, and, um, you

1062
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:34.780
know, in your body. So that's, yes, still walking some of it out, but definitely leaps

1063
01:05:34.780 --> 01:05:44.080
and bounds, um, further ahead than, than where I was. So, so grateful. Um, I, Oh, the, I

1064
01:05:44.080 --> 01:05:50.320
think there was two, there was one teaching you were going to, when, when you were, uh,

1065
01:05:50.320 --> 01:05:54.720
when you get your thing back up and running on accusation of something that you had taught

1066
01:05:54.720 --> 01:06:02.600
before about how to respond in times of accusation or something alive that you did. Do you remember

1067
01:06:02.600 --> 01:06:09.680
that? I don't, I already did it. And do you remember it was called? Um, it wasn't an hour

1068
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:15.080
session. It sounded like you did it in another class and that you were going to upload it.

1069
01:06:15.080 --> 01:06:25.320
Like when somebody makes accusations towards you, how you respond to those. Oh, yes. Um,

1070
01:06:25.320 --> 01:06:30.080
I will try to do that. I think I was talking about when I had that with a specific friend,

1071
01:06:30.080 --> 01:06:35.120
right. A client. And then I said, I was trying to go back to hear my response. Yes. I forgot

1072
01:06:35.120 --> 01:06:40.200
about that because Facebook wouldn't was taking a long time to upload it. So I was going to

1073
01:06:40.200 --> 01:06:44.400
give it time, see if it finally uploaded. And so we'll see if maybe it has, so I'm not

1074
01:06:44.720 --> 01:06:53.640
sure. Okay. So that, and then group anymore. So if it, if it could go into the portal,

1075
01:06:53.640 --> 01:07:00.720
that'd be amazing. I would love to hear that. Yeah. I need to try to, Oh, good. It pulled

1076
01:07:00.720 --> 01:07:07.000
up. I think. Yeah. Yeah. I got him. All right. So I'll, I'll have to go through, listen to

1077
01:07:07.000 --> 01:07:11.840
and make sure there's not any like private information, anybody's name mentioned or something.

1078
01:07:11.840 --> 01:07:17.680
So, but yeah, I will try to do that. And, uh, you said there was something else. Oh,

1079
01:07:17.680 --> 01:07:24.480
the other one. Um, the, the fireside chat that I missed that you answered my question.

1080
01:07:24.480 --> 01:07:33.360
Um, I'm like, Oh, wait, they're on the thing. Yes. Just as of last night, because the issue

1081
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:39.360
finally got resolved last night. So I'm still working on the blessing your spirit. So those

1082
01:07:39.360 --> 01:07:45.200
aren't all up, but there are new ones up. I think there's like five or six new ones up.

1083
01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:53.280
Um, but, uh, there's yeah, something like that. And then, um, and then I'll continue to upload

1084
01:07:53.280 --> 01:07:58.640
the others and like groups and then, um, but then all the fireside chats and all of the rest groups

1085
01:07:58.640 --> 01:08:04.640
are up as of like, probably like two this morning or something like that. Yes. I finally got it

1086
01:08:04.640 --> 01:08:09.920
worked out. Okay. 12, 15, 12, 22. Perfect. Okay. I'm excited to go back and listen to that one

1087
01:08:09.920 --> 01:08:15.360
that I missed. Yes. It's on 1222. That's the one I think. I think you're right. Yeah. I was right

1088
01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:22.160
before Christmas. Yes. Yeah. Great. That's exciting. We'll be podcast gym material today.

1089
01:08:23.840 --> 01:08:29.120
Good. And, uh, one of the thing you had mentioned that you had a couple of friends that might be

1090
01:08:29.120 --> 01:08:33.920
reaching out to me. So I was excited about that. Um, and I'll look forward to meeting them if they

1091
01:08:33.920 --> 01:08:39.359
choose to join. Um, and what I'm, what, one of the things that I'm working on right now,

1092
01:08:39.359 --> 01:08:43.840
and I'm working on updating the page, part of it is updated, but not the rest of it.

1093
01:08:43.840 --> 01:08:50.880
And that's the fact that, um, I'm offering some, some, um, uh, incentives to join early where I'm

1094
01:08:50.880 --> 01:08:55.600
offering what I'm calling like the headstart, which enables, because I had someone tell me

1095
01:08:55.600 --> 01:08:58.800
the other day, well, actually, it's great that you're doing it in the end of January, but

1096
01:08:59.359 --> 01:09:02.880
I want to start something now, you know, I don't want to have to wait a month.

1097
01:09:02.880 --> 01:09:10.319
And so what I did is I, um, I, I have, I have my original course that I would give them all

1098
01:09:10.319 --> 01:09:15.920
access to, you know, whoever joins by, I think I have, I don't know, January something. Anyway,

1099
01:09:15.920 --> 01:09:20.800
I don't know. I think it's like sometime next week. And then if people join by then, well,

1100
01:09:20.800 --> 01:09:25.200
then they can get access to that course and they can start going through it for the next couple of

1101
01:09:25.200 --> 01:09:31.600
weeks. And then, um, anyway, so, um, I'm doing that, you know, to give people a way to go ahead

1102
01:09:31.600 --> 01:09:36.319
and just jump in and start early. And because I have so many people that are, are reaching out

1103
01:09:36.319 --> 01:09:43.200
to me right now, and they're finding a month, very, a very long way away. So I wanted to give

1104
01:09:43.200 --> 01:09:48.319
them something they could just jump into now while that basically so that they can strike while the

1105
01:09:48.319 --> 01:09:54.480
iron is hot with their interest. Um, so anyway, that's just a benefit for, for people who are

1106
01:09:54.480 --> 01:09:59.840
wanting to go ahead and join early. So basically they'll start, they'll start listening.

1107
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.700
thing to the sessions, like not, not those sessions, the original sessions.

1108
01:10:04.700 --> 01:10:05.960
So that's another benefit.

1109
01:10:06.120 --> 01:10:08.360
They basically got it for one.

1110
01:10:09.000 --> 01:10:12.240
They get my original session, which I sometimes call the kitchen series

1111
01:10:12.240 --> 01:10:13.720
because I just did it in my kitchen.

1112
01:10:13.960 --> 01:10:17.840
But those are the ones that I did in April of 2020, that started everything.

1113
01:10:18.240 --> 01:10:23.280
And those ones that my alumni go back and watch like my lifetime members that

1114
01:10:23.280 --> 01:10:27.440
were in that or those original groups, they go back and they, they tell me

1115
01:10:27.440 --> 01:10:32.680
that they watch those more than the new ones I did that we watched, you

1116
01:10:32.680 --> 01:10:34.280
know, the inner his rest series.

1117
01:10:34.840 --> 01:10:38.120
That one wasn't done for a whole year after I first started.

1118
01:10:38.160 --> 01:10:41.240
And they tell me that even though they have access to both, they

1119
01:10:41.240 --> 01:10:42.760
always go back to the kitchen series.

1120
01:10:43.400 --> 01:10:44.320
And I was like, really?

1121
01:10:44.320 --> 01:10:46.040
I said, well, was it better?

1122
01:10:46.040 --> 01:10:48.520
Like, in other words, was it more articulate?

1123
01:10:48.520 --> 01:10:49.700
Did it like resonate more?

1124
01:10:49.700 --> 01:10:53.880
They're like, I really don't know if it resonated more or if it's just that, I

1125
01:10:53.880 --> 01:10:56.760
mean, like if I like it better or if it's just the fact that it's more

1126
01:10:56.760 --> 01:11:02.400
accessible because they said the both courses are good and, but in their own

1127
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:04.960
way, they're, they say they're very different, which is true.

1128
01:11:04.960 --> 01:11:05.800
They're very different.

1129
01:11:06.320 --> 01:11:10.560
And I talk about some of the same things, but a year later, obviously

1130
01:11:10.560 --> 01:11:12.080
I have much more to talk about.

1131
01:11:12.440 --> 01:11:15.840
Um, so anyway, they would be able to have access to the original

1132
01:11:16.080 --> 01:11:17.560
kitchen series and start that.

1133
01:11:17.960 --> 01:11:18.920
So, yeah.

1134
01:11:20.240 --> 01:11:21.440
Okay, cool.

1135
01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:23.160
Um, great.

1136
01:11:23.160 --> 01:11:23.440
Yeah.

1137
01:11:23.440 --> 01:11:24.800
I hope specifically Allegra.

1138
01:11:24.800 --> 01:11:25.840
She's amazing.

1139
01:11:25.840 --> 01:11:26.720
She's in Georgia.

1140
01:11:27.200 --> 01:11:29.880
Um, and yeah, she's a friend.

1141
01:11:29.880 --> 01:11:35.360
She's a part of our, our project or building project here, but she, um,

1142
01:11:35.440 --> 01:11:36.920
could really, really benefit from it.

1143
01:11:36.920 --> 01:11:39.480
And so I'm hoping that I'll remind them though, that they can sign up early and

1144
01:11:39.480 --> 01:11:41.000
have access to the teachings to dive in.

1145
01:11:41.040 --> 01:11:43.000
So they'll get that and this got it.

1146
01:11:43.520 --> 01:11:43.880
Yes.

1147
01:11:43.920 --> 01:11:46.680
And, uh, and that'll all be on their page that they already have

1148
01:11:46.680 --> 01:11:48.280
access to I'm updating that link.

1149
01:11:48.600 --> 01:11:51.280
And then, um, your other friend, what time zone is she in?

1150
01:11:51.880 --> 01:11:53.200
Oh, she's in Australia.

1151
01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:56.680
Oh, I don't know if she'll join.

1152
01:11:56.760 --> 01:11:59.360
Um, yeah, she's in Victoria, Australia.

1153
01:12:00.200 --> 01:12:03.840
Um, she was actually a client, a health client of mine years ago.

1154
01:12:03.840 --> 01:12:06.600
So I had, I had launched a health consulting business, wanting to work for

1155
01:12:06.600 --> 01:12:08.760
myself, wanting to do all the things.

1156
01:12:08.760 --> 01:12:09.080
Right.

1157
01:12:09.560 --> 01:12:15.080
Um, and, um, she made a ton of progress, like physically weight wise.

1158
01:12:16.520 --> 01:12:20.760
Yeah, stuff like that, but she's still walking through like emotional things.

1159
01:12:21.520 --> 01:12:27.360
And is that how, what, how far away is, is Victoria like times and wise?

1160
01:12:29.720 --> 01:12:33.480
It's an odd time for sure, but we always used to sync up meetings.

1161
01:12:33.560 --> 01:12:36.800
Well, I, I feel like we used to meet at.

1162
01:12:39.040 --> 01:12:43.200
It was like 10 AM her time and it was like 5 PM our time or something.

1163
01:12:44.120 --> 01:12:44.600
Okay.

1164
01:12:44.920 --> 01:12:46.200
So 6 PM.

1165
01:12:46.200 --> 01:12:48.280
So yeah, that would be like midday for her.

1166
01:12:49.080 --> 01:12:49.480
Okay.

1167
01:12:49.560 --> 01:12:49.920
All right.

1168
01:12:50.120 --> 01:12:51.480
Either of them reached out to you yet.

1169
01:12:51.760 --> 01:12:54.000
Have they messaged you or no, no, not yet.

1170
01:12:54.240 --> 01:12:54.680
Yeah.

1171
01:12:55.120 --> 01:12:57.720
Um, there was something else to say.

1172
01:12:58.240 --> 01:12:58.640
Anyway.

1173
01:12:59.040 --> 01:13:00.840
Um, and, uh, yep.

1174
01:13:00.840 --> 01:13:02.280
So that all sounds good.

1175
01:13:02.320 --> 01:13:05.280
And, um, I guess that's it.

1176
01:13:05.320 --> 01:13:08.200
I don't know why I thought there was something else, but I'm glad that we're

1177
01:13:08.200 --> 01:13:11.960
talking in that you can, uh, you've got access to the, uh, fireside chat

1178
01:13:13.160 --> 01:13:14.400
because it was just up last night.

1179
01:13:14.760 --> 01:13:15.240
So yeah.

1180
01:13:15.720 --> 01:13:16.040
Cool.

1181
01:13:16.160 --> 01:13:18.920
And if you screen your accusation video and it's appropriate with

1182
01:13:19.760 --> 01:13:22.160
to view, well, it's not a video.

1183
01:13:22.440 --> 01:13:25.360
There was just, it was just how I responded in audio.

1184
01:13:25.360 --> 01:13:29.680
There were like a little, these little audio clips and so yeah, I would be

1185
01:13:29.680 --> 01:13:31.280
sending them these little audio clips.

1186
01:13:31.280 --> 01:13:31.520
Yeah.

1187
01:13:31.800 --> 01:13:32.280
Oh, got it.

1188
01:13:32.280 --> 01:13:34.560
Just very raw, very, I don't know.

1189
01:13:34.560 --> 01:13:36.840
She was just hurt and I was responding.

1190
01:13:37.760 --> 01:13:38.160
Love it.

1191
01:13:38.600 --> 01:13:39.320
That's all right.

1192
01:13:39.600 --> 01:13:40.120
Thank you.

1193
01:13:40.120 --> 01:13:40.400
Okay.

1194
01:13:40.400 --> 01:13:41.960
I'll keep you updated as things unfold.

1195
01:13:42.920 --> 01:13:43.400
Yes.

1196
01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:46.800
This next month of, um, if one of them sign in or what my travel

1197
01:13:46.800 --> 01:13:50.400
schedule is, if I can commit, I'm just a little concerned about the, um, if

1198
01:13:50.400 --> 01:13:54.280
I'm coming in and being able to meet three times a week in the midst of all

1199
01:13:54.280 --> 01:13:57.600
these things, and I don't want to like have to do it, but I really want to be

1200
01:13:57.600 --> 01:14:02.360
there, but all this stuff, so whatever you'd like to do, it's just there.

1201
01:14:02.360 --> 01:14:05.160
If someone wants it in their particular journey.

1202
01:14:05.200 --> 01:14:06.920
So we'd love to have you.

1203
01:14:06.920 --> 01:14:08.880
I always look in the, in the group.

1204
01:14:10.040 --> 01:14:10.880
So grateful.

1205
01:14:10.920 --> 01:14:12.680
Well, I'm sure I'll be in touch at some point.

1206
01:14:14.640 --> 01:14:15.080
See you.

1207
01:14:15.080 --> 01:14:15.600
Bye.