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Okay.

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Hello.

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Hello. How are you.

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Good. How are you.

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Hey, Chris.

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Chris or Christine which do you prefer. Chris. Yeah.

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How are you.

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Good. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

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I'm getting all set up here. Okay.

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I'm working on a course and I've, you know, really been getting into it it's about missions and evangelism, finding some really good resources to use.

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My mind is kind of filled with that right now.

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It's so exciting. She's been given a really neat opportunity. Okay, great. Yeah. Wonderful.

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Wonderful.

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So, I mean just honestly speaking I don't have an agenda.

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I'm here. I'm here for you.

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And, you know, as I've said, you know, each call.

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There are certain themes that seem like they're arising in some of the calls.

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But they're all unique and different and. And sometimes it's.

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I don't know the Lord gives me a download and it's very prophetic and stuff and other times it's, he doesn't and normally that's because there are things that are to be uncovered kind of in the call itself and so I don't have any agenda and I'll just tell you now like.

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Other than I saw your name on a sticky once, and I hear about her talking about just in general talk, you know, talking to you all are talking about.

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She'll mention people's names as if because she's interacting with you so much and she'll say like, Oh, Chris got a message from somebody today and I'll be like who's that, and they're like, Oh, that's so and so, you know, I really don't know anything about you.

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I don't know anything discussed.

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I don't know.

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Until like 10 minutes ago I didn't even know your name is that we're like we were meeting with Chris, and that's short for Christine. Right. And I'm like, Oh, okay, because I'm imagining a Chris, you know,

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male male friends. Yeah, my my boss is Chris. So, so with that kind of in mind I don't have anything I might get something as we go along but you know how are you doing what's what's going on with you.

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Is there anything to the Lord has been. It's been surfacing or that struggling with or something that that the Lord has been bringing up to you or anything.

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Well, I'll tell you first what I've been going through, and then maybe something I think God's been bringing up in August, I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time breast cancer.

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So I had surgery at the end of August, and then it's about almost two weeks ago now that I completed radiation therapy.

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And then I was in hormone therapy for five years, depending on how you know if I have side effects from that or not.

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So, that has been, you know, that's been quite a thing and then right now there's major upheaval at work.

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And two of the people that I work for, and two especially that I work with were laid off.

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And

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their last day is next Friday.

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So that that has been weighing heavy on me.

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One of one of the.

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Her name is Courtney, and she's from China, and her visa is affected by this.

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And I have been praying for her salvation, and just asked her if she would like to go with me to my Christmas Eve service but she already has plans with family, but

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that that's a major thing because the people I work with are going to be gone, and there's no replacement.

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And it's just, it's just really sad because, like, the other gal that I'm really close

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Do she said it was like we built something together as a family and it's like we're family because we built this.

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I don't know what you call it, application for care managers to use and we build it together.

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So, you know, we're we're really close. And, you know, so that's a something that's happening right now.

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Makes me feel teary just thinking about it. Yeah. And and then I have this major opportunity.

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I mean, I still can't believe it that through a friend, a pastor friend in India.

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I have spoken twice to a Bible school based in Bangalore, India.

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And then now I have a class I'm going to be teaching next month on missions and evangelism to 30 Sarah Lincoln students.

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Some are pastors and missionaries already. Some are in other countries as maids or whatever.

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And some are not allowed to go out out of the house. So and this is like a bachelor of theology level class.

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So I was a missionary in Japan for 17 years. Oh, wow. Yeah.

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A interesting mission field right there. Yes. It is not an easy place to everything I've ever heard.

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I mean, I've been to Japan on business once many years ago.

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Most expensive business trip, like the most expensive travel expense report I've ever put in my life.

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And that was back in the early 2000s. But and she came back to the States from Japan in 98 or 99.

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So it's 98. Yeah. Yeah. So there's been a lot of time that I've been back.

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But I've always but I've heard from anybody that it is a very dry, difficult place to to do mission work.

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It is. It's very considered a graveyard of missionaries.

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But, yeah, it was. I saw. A handful of people come to the Lord and it was supernatural.

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It wasn't like, you know, teaching them the Bible, convincing them to believe that I try that that does not work.

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But God just working and, you know, having me in the mix, you know, and it was, yeah, just some amazing things happened.

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Just to say one one of the women, her sister believed first.

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Then she had a vision of Jesus on her veranda as she she saw he was in a.

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Well, she described him as he's pictured in Revelation.

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I think it's chapter one. And she didn't even know Revelation chapter one.

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So it was, you know, long white hair robe, just some amazing things like that happened when it was like I stepped back,

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you know, the rest, the whole rest thing, step back and, you know, you get to the point where I can't do this.

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It has to be God. And and you learn that by experience, I guess.

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It's not like, OK, at the at the you know that God has to do do everything,

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but you don't know when your flesh is is working and when the spirit, you know, it's I think that comes by experience.

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So, yeah, and when I when I came back, I tried to find a place, you know, I didn't know what God was so clear.

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He was leading me back and I needed more healing for myself.

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And one of my and I spoke recently when to a friend who was in Japan at the time with me that counseled me to resign.

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And I asked her, why did I you know what her perspective on that time was?

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And she said, God has you on a journey. You know, it was time to leave.

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And one of what was going on was that I was really under criticism from the church.

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Well, not that the church as a whole, but a few people, because I wasn't bringing a lot of people into the church.

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And that's what they wanted me to do. Mine was.

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like ones and twos, you know, deepening, and God leading me to

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people who were ready, you know, to believe. And I even wrote my,

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you know, when they they were criticizing, and so I wrote my

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own tract with my testimony on it in my picture, and went door

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to door in the area. And, you know, through that, I met you

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probably never heard of this people group, but an I knew

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woman, kind of like the native Japanese in Hokkaido, and began

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Bible study with her, but I left actually before she believed,

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but we started studying the Bible together. And she was

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married to a Japanese man, and they couldn't let people know

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that she was I knew, or there would be great prejudice against

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her and her children. But anyway, there was, you know,

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just some good things that happened. But there was this

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criticism, and I find I found it very difficult to take, you

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know, the one guy, an elder at one of our church elder meetings

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said, you need to be a real missionary. And, you know, that

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kind of hit me at the core. It was really, I mean, and the Lord

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encouraged me through that time, but my way, I'm not an

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evangelist. And my way of, you know, was really just, and the

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pastor in that church understood, I worked with a

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Japanese pastor, and taught English and all that. And he

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understood, because he knew of another missionary, from years

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before, I guess that, you know, it wasn't like, you know, that

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that missionary to just built relationships and gradually, you

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know, shared the gospel with them. So, and before I came

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home, God gave me a month of an intense experience of his love.

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So that was like, prepared. I mean, I never experienced his

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love like that before. And it was like walking in heaven for a

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month. And, and then so that kind of, even though I was so

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sad to leave Japan, because I thought that was a lifelong

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career. And so coming back was, you know, it was difficult, the

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reverse culture shock and all that reentry. Yeah, yeah, that

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was difficult. And then, you know, I got into health care,

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like working for a medical group. And I taught three years

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at a Christian junior senior high school taught them Japanese,

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and church history and Bible. And, and then after that,

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worked at a women's shelter, and then got into health care again.

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And now I'm in a IT position, healthcare IT, at my present

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job. And I would, I would say, I mean, in God has, I mean, I've

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been with my, you know, here at the time when my mom died, my

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dad died, my stepdad died. So it was good to be back for those,

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you know, it's been good to be home. But it's kind of like if I

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was a nun, and, and then decided not to be a nun anymore, you

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know, how a nun would feel. So it's, you know, it was hard not,

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but I think I got my identity from being a missionary, you

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know. And so it's not like, and I think I needed to get away

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from that. And but now God has brought it back around as a

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teacher in a Bible school on missions, which is so exciting.

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It's like, he's, you know, given me a gift to do this. And, you

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know, also cross culturally, who would have thought teaching

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Sri Lanka Bible school students, you know, it's not anything I

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could have planned. Yeah. So yeah, so that's kind of what

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what's happened, you know, and, and the thing that

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Well, I have, it's kind of like, you know, you have a word for the year, and my word

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for this year was flourish.

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And then I'm thinking, you know, for next year, the word is engage.

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And I feel like, and, you know, because I'm, I'm renting a room.

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And it's me and my dog.

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And I'm going to a really large church.

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And I'm not in a small group, because I got into one and it was just not not a good thing.

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But I don't feel aside from the people at work really engaged.

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And I feel like I need to be engaged more with the Lord to, you know, like, I've felt

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an invitation from him to go deeper.

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And you know, that's been happening, you know, during the rest intensive.

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And I mean, even before, because, you know, I went through all of the videos before,

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and it's, it's not, I mean, it's a new way of putting it and, you know, clarifies things,

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but it's not new, because the whole thing of union with God and his love and relationship

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isn't new, but being in a group of women that have the same desire, I think, is what's

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really, really good.

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And, and hearing new, I mean, actually, you put it so clearly and clarify things and yeah,

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it's really, it's really good.

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So, but I feel like I need to be, what the Lord is showing me just being more engaged

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in prayer, worship, in relationships with people, which, yeah, I don't know how to describe

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it other than that, but yeah, just more, I mean, I would say that I'm, I'm really engaged

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with, like, say, Courtney, the gal from China, but it's more based on work.

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And we do talk about personal things and, you know, how we're feeling about things.

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And she knows I'm a Christian and that I pray for her and, you know, her boss actually

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is a Christian too.

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So, you know, she knows that we're praying for her, praying for a miracle, that she can

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stay in the country.

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But it's not, that isn't a relationship like sharing deeply on spiritual things, you know,

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on relationship with God, mutually encouraging sort of thing.

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Yeah.

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So that's kind of where I'm at.

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Well, as I've said, I think like one other time, you know, like this time is really for

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you and if what's needed, you know, as I've said to Ashley, at least one other time, you

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know, if what's needed is it to be more of a, like a freedom session, I'm saying that's

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totally fine.

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We don't have to, and I don't have, I've got some strange things kind of in my head that

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I'm going to ask a couple of questions and I, again, I have no agenda.

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I don't have any clear defined direction of like, or I'm not gathering any major area

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of wounding or anything right now that I feel like we need to address like any gaping wounds.

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I don't see anything, you know, you seem pretty solid and I don't want to use the word stable

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because that's not a very fun word, but you know, you, you, you know, you, you know, you

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know, I don't, I'm not picking up anything right this very second, but just a very strange

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question.

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I, I keep looking at this painting behind you and are you an artist?

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Have you ever done any painting?

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No.

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No, but I like, oh, the one right over here, my sister did and it is, I mean, it's, it's

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amazing.

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I mean, it has, she did it and I had it with me in Japan.

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And when I was.

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I was going through a really, really hard time

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in working in El Morte City at the tip of the main island.

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I mean, I came home on vacation and thought,

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I don't want to go back and work there.

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It was really awful.

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But then the Lord made it clear that I needed to go back.

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And I was on a train ride to one of the cities in the area.

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And it was like the Lord said to me, look up.

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And what I saw was exactly in that picture.

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Wow.

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Yeah, it was like the mountains and the sun.

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And I don't think I know there was a fence,

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but it looked just like that.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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And it was, I don't know, it was like God, at the time,

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that he, I mean, I knew he was with me and needed that.

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And out of that difficult place, it

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became the most fruitful time in my ministry in Japan.

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It was the sister that I met there

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who became a believer rather supernaturally

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that her sister down South saw the vision of Jesus.

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So there were, I think it was mainly the three,

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another woman too, who was an English student.

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Her mother had prayed for her for 20 years.

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And she said she wouldn't, she joined my English class

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and said she wouldn't become a Christian,

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but she heard the Bible.

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And God just drew her heart.

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But anyway, so that picture, I mean, it was just,

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I'm riding on the train, look up,

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and there is the exact image of what's in the picture.

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I don't know if I ever told my sister that story, actually.

213
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Yeah.

214
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Well, that's wonderful.

215
00:22:12.440 --> 00:22:14.800
Well, I really don't know what this means,

216
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because I don't know you at all.

217
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But, and this is not a negative thing,

218
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but what I'm, I don't know how to look at,

219
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I can tell you what it is I physically see,

220
00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:28.880
like what I see in my mind, but what I'm taking from it,

221
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it looks like almost, if I weren't speaking to you

222
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and I was talking to somebody else, let's say,

223
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I would look like they're right

224
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and their left side of the brain are at war with each other.

225
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Like, not conflict, but like, which is driving the ship.

226
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And a lot of times when I see that,

227
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it's like sometimes someone has to be as big,

228
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has been in such an analytical place,

229
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left brain, logic, and that type of thing,

230
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that that is kind of dominated in a way

231
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that the right side, the creative side,

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hasn't had the expression, let's say, that is needed.

233
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So that sometimes I'll see someone

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that has a whole creative aspects of who they are

235
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and that aspect of them has not found voice or expression

236
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and that they've been had,

237
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they've had circumstances and situations in their life

238
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where it was required of them, let's say,

239
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or my mother used to say about me, I'll put it this way,

240
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is that, you know, I was a finance person

241
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and my mom's conviction was that the finance,

242
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the analytical part of me was a skill that I learned

243
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and I became good at, but it wasn't really who I was.

244
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And so I keep seeing this image

245
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and that's why I was drawn to that painting

246
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and I can just make out on the other side,

247
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the heart in another picture that I see on your wall.

248
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And I was seeing this, it looked like a brain

249
00:24:15.840 --> 00:24:18.560
and there was electricity on both sides

250
00:24:18.560 --> 00:24:20.560
that showed me activity

251
00:24:20.560 --> 00:24:24.720
and that there was this teeter-tottering going on.

252
00:24:25.600 --> 00:24:28.360
And my impression from that

253
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is that you've largely had to rely

254
00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:32.560
on a lot of the left brain,

255
00:24:32.560 --> 00:24:35.920
logical side centers of your brain.

256
00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:37.400
I could be totally wrong.

257
00:24:38.360 --> 00:24:40.120
I've told you, this is an impression.

258
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This is not associative work, okay?

259
00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:45.720
This is an impression that I have from what I'm looking at

260
00:24:47.600 --> 00:24:52.600
and that there is an emergence of an other aspect

261
00:24:53.480 --> 00:24:54.760
of who you are,

262
00:24:54.760 --> 00:24:58.400
this time related to the creative side of who you are.

263
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And there's the...

264
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.720
father is the creator God, and we're going to be co-creating with him, that is starting to come

265
00:25:05.760 --> 00:25:11.200
forth. And the image I saw, this is why I asked about you being an artist, aside from those

266
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:20.000
things, I saw you look like you were at, my mom and dad lived in, my family lives in Jacksonville,

267
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Florida, and around the corner from my mom is this shopping center kind of place, and they would do

268
00:25:25.600 --> 00:25:30.480
these kind of art festivals there. They would have these like little tents, and people would

269
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display their art, and you could kind of walk through with coffee and talk to the artist,

270
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and I saw you amongst these tents talking to people, amongst all of this artwork. And

271
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I was looking at it, trying to figure out if you would, if the artwork was yours or not,

272
00:25:51.120 --> 00:25:58.240
but it was like, you were able to, in this image that I'm seeing, you were able to like,

273
00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:04.400
kind of like cross-culturally have relationship and talk to these people,

274
00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:10.800
and engage them in a way that was non-threatening, that was not like beat them over the head,

275
00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:17.200
and that these opportunities were like, allowed you to be able to speak and meet

276
00:26:17.760 --> 00:26:23.040
and interact with people that normally would be hostile, or wouldn't be able to be able to

277
00:26:23.040 --> 00:26:28.880
be reached, or be able to have conversation, and that because of this, in the image that I was

278
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:37.520
seeing, this art as the door, allowed you to be able to meet and interact and share the love of

279
00:26:37.520 --> 00:26:42.960
God for this big, that leaves you to have lots of impact on people, and you seemed very at home

280
00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:49.200
there. That was the image that I saw, and I was like, and I'm watching all this as you're talking,

281
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:55.440
and I'm thinking like, I have no idea what all of this means, and that's why I started with,

282
00:26:55.440 --> 00:27:04.000
like, have you ever painted? I do have a sneaking suspicion that there are aspects,

283
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:09.920
and this is another theme that I've noticed lately, of who God is in you, and aspects of

284
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:15.280
how you're known in heaven, that I feel like God is going to start to spotlight, that's going to

285
00:27:15.280 --> 00:27:23.120
probably be a little stretchy for you, and some of that creativity may be expressed in a sense of like

286
00:27:25.520 --> 00:27:28.960
doing creative things, which may feel very foreign to you,

287
00:27:29.840 --> 00:27:35.600
or it could be the creative solution part, the innovation part, the place where there's,

288
00:27:35.600 --> 00:27:41.280
you know, like we can kind of, the spirit of wisdom comes in, or the spirit of counsel, and then there

289
00:27:41.280 --> 00:27:49.680
are innovative ways in doing things, but I feel like there is an expansion beyond

290
00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:54.480
areas of your life where you've been under constraint, that has caused you to function

291
00:27:54.480 --> 00:28:00.160
in certain ways, and become very good at it, by the way. You're very adept at some things, like you're,

292
00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:04.880
like there's a spirit of, almost like a spirit of excellence in some of the things that you've done,

293
00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:12.000
and you're a deep diver, it appears to me, that, you know, the whole thing, the aspects of being a king,

294
00:28:12.560 --> 00:28:17.680
you know, that it's a matter of a king to search a matter out, you really search a matter out,

295
00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:25.120
like when you search something out, you really, really, really, really search it out, and

296
00:28:25.600 --> 00:28:33.760
I just feel that there is a freedom of expression that like right-brained people seem to have.

297
00:28:34.560 --> 00:28:41.600
I'm not a right-brained person, okay, but I've known quite a bit of them, and they're a little

298
00:28:41.600 --> 00:28:47.120
bit of enigmatic to me, I don't understand, okay, but there's this freedom of expression that they

299
00:28:47.120 --> 00:28:53.600
seem to carry, they get, that allows them to kind of float, to express themselves, and interact with

300
00:28:54.080 --> 00:28:59.440
people in a way that I don't understand, and I feel that there is an expansion of you,

301
00:29:00.560 --> 00:29:05.200
and I have a feeling that as I'm staring at that heart in the back, that that encounter that you

302
00:29:05.200 --> 00:29:10.480
had with love of God, not only was it a more impactful in the past, but I feel like there's

303
00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:17.200
another circling round of an encounter coming with you, with a love of God, that isn't going to just,

304
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:23.040
it's not just for you, but it's going to be a transformative agent, and that really,

305
00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:29.120
not just the scripture, not just theology, are you going to be sharing with people,

306
00:29:29.840 --> 00:29:35.680
but it's going to be like you're giving them gifts that are going to contain that love,

307
00:29:35.680 --> 00:29:42.880
and the aspect of God that people need. I feel that that gift, I feel like that was a taste,

308
00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:48.160
a foretaste that you had of the encounter of the love of God, and that that thing didn't just

309
00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:53.520
change you back then, or wasn't there just to encourage you, I feel like there's an aspect of

310
00:29:53.520 --> 00:29:59.840
that part of who God is, that is in short supply, not just to be displayed,

311
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.000
but to be kind of like given, to be imparted.

312
00:30:05.600 --> 00:30:09.680
And I feel like there's almost like a matriculation

313
00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:12.720
of who God is in that aspect of love

314
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:17.720
that is getting ready to come back to you, so to speak,

315
00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:21.520
to be reenacted because I feel that

316
00:30:21.520 --> 00:30:24.760
one of the great strengths that you're gonna have

317
00:30:24.760 --> 00:30:27.400
is to be communicating and releasing

318
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:29.560
the love of God over people.

319
00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.760
And that I firmly believe,

320
00:30:35.280 --> 00:30:36.960
one thing I knew about you right away

321
00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:38.480
is that you're a teacher.

322
00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:41.800
I firmly believe that you are a teacher.

323
00:30:41.800 --> 00:30:46.000
I firmly believe that you are more than qualified

324
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:49.440
to teach at a PhD level,

325
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:51.480
to be teaching people about theology

326
00:30:51.480 --> 00:30:55.560
or to teach people about, you know,

327
00:30:55.960 --> 00:31:00.560
praying for people in Japanese, whatever.

328
00:31:00.560 --> 00:31:04.320
Like, I have no doubt that you're very accomplished

329
00:31:04.320 --> 00:31:06.440
in all of those things,

330
00:31:06.440 --> 00:31:10.680
but I feel that there's another aspect of what you carry

331
00:31:13.160 --> 00:31:17.120
melded with it, has great life on it.

332
00:31:17.120 --> 00:31:20.520
And I believe that is the place of the love of God.

333
00:31:21.520 --> 00:31:25.000
Hmm, I think you're spot on.

334
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:27.400
Because the problem becomes,

335
00:31:27.400 --> 00:31:31.480
how do you really express

336
00:31:31.480 --> 00:31:33.920
and give away the love of God

337
00:31:33.920 --> 00:31:36.400
other than just being loving yourself?

338
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:39.120
And I think that even the way that you have

339
00:31:40.480 --> 00:31:43.920
been a missionary in the sense of

340
00:31:45.840 --> 00:31:47.760
what you did and how you met people

341
00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:49.840
was that you were all about relationship.

342
00:31:51.040 --> 00:31:53.560
You weren't about conversion.

343
00:31:53.560 --> 00:31:56.080
You weren't about bringing numbers.

344
00:31:56.080 --> 00:31:57.960
And God is relational God.

345
00:31:57.960 --> 00:32:00.120
And some things just take time.

346
00:32:00.120 --> 00:32:02.280
And I believe what I see is that it's just kind of like

347
00:32:02.280 --> 00:32:04.200
that image I saw of you outside,

348
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:08.760
so naturally meeting with people in an art show

349
00:32:08.760 --> 00:32:10.640
is a picture of really kind of

350
00:32:10.640 --> 00:32:12.480
who you really are at the core.

351
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:15.800
Like, if I were to paint a picture of who you are,

352
00:32:15.800 --> 00:32:17.640
like the essence of who you are,

353
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:19.160
was that you're kind of like,

354
00:32:20.440 --> 00:32:22.960
I don't know, for lack of a better term,

355
00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:25.720
like a walking testimony, you know,

356
00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:28.400
and that you really care about people.

357
00:32:28.400 --> 00:32:31.280
And that's the thing that's most needed.

358
00:32:31.280 --> 00:32:36.280
And I feel that there's a riddle that you're given to solve.

359
00:32:36.600 --> 00:32:40.080
And that thing is, how do you meld the teaching

360
00:32:40.080 --> 00:32:43.960
of theology and scripture and the foundational things

361
00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:48.400
that are most needed and how do you impart to people

362
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:51.640
in a real, frank, honest way

363
00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:55.560
that they can receive the love of God himself?

364
00:32:55.560 --> 00:32:56.920
Not just to love him.

365
00:32:57.800 --> 00:33:00.160
I have no doubt in the world that you love him.

366
00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:03.280
But I think that he gave you that experience

367
00:33:03.280 --> 00:33:06.400
of that intensity of the love of God,

368
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:08.400
where you felt like you were on another planet

369
00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:11.240
or whatever for a while,

370
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:14.880
that that wasn't just a momentary thing.

371
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:16.600
I think it just shaped you and shifted you

372
00:33:16.600 --> 00:33:19.880
and I think you needed it, but I think that there's more.

373
00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:21.640
I think there's more to it.

374
00:33:21.640 --> 00:33:24.760
And I think that not just the concepts,

375
00:33:24.760 --> 00:33:27.840
but that there's an expression of who God is

376
00:33:27.840 --> 00:33:30.560
that he's wanting to awaken in you

377
00:33:30.560 --> 00:33:33.080
because it's needed in this time,

378
00:33:33.080 --> 00:33:35.000
an expression of who he is.

379
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:38.400
And the greatest aspect of that is love

380
00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:40.400
because he is love.

381
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:43.800
And if everything isn't infused by his love,

382
00:33:43.800 --> 00:33:48.800
then it's just a religious fiddle-faddle.

383
00:33:50.680 --> 00:33:54.120
It's just that squeaky gate, the clanking gong.

384
00:33:54.120 --> 00:33:57.680
It's like there's so much of stuff

385
00:33:57.680 --> 00:34:02.480
that we're hearing these days that is all sounds right,

386
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:06.400
but it's empty and there's like a drought

387
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:09.040
in this place of what looks like there's a drought

388
00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:12.520
and that God is wanting to bring a flood.

389
00:34:12.520 --> 00:34:14.679
And I think you're part of whatever that flood is,

390
00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:17.360
but it involves the love of God, you know?

391
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:18.920
And it's so strange to me,

392
00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:20.800
I don't believe in coincidences,

393
00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:23.520
that I'm drawn to this picture,

394
00:34:23.520 --> 00:34:25.080
which looks like to your back, right?

395
00:34:25.080 --> 00:34:26.679
I don't know if it is, if the screen's back,

396
00:34:26.679 --> 00:34:29.440
but it's the one that you were pointed at

397
00:34:29.440 --> 00:34:32.159
that your sister did that was so important to you.

398
00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:34.080
I'm like, I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

399
00:34:34.080 --> 00:34:35.520
And then I look at the other painting

400
00:34:35.520 --> 00:34:36.800
and all I see is a heart.

401
00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:41.239
There's no doubt about it at all that God loves you.

402
00:34:41.239 --> 00:34:42.560
Yeah, yeah.

403
00:34:42.560 --> 00:34:44.440
There's no doubt.

404
00:34:44.440 --> 00:34:46.400
And I think that he did a lot of things

405
00:34:47.560 --> 00:34:51.000
because he loves you and because you needed the time.

406
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:56.000
But I believe that there's an aspect of who you are in God

407
00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:59.880
that's getting ready to shift and it's dying.

408
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.000
it's needed in great, it's very dire in this time.

409
00:35:05.560 --> 00:35:08.900
And that is an understanding and expression

410
00:35:08.900 --> 00:35:10.520
of the love of God.

411
00:35:10.520 --> 00:35:14.760
And it's him, it's you loving people,

412
00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:18.000
but there's an aspect of you coming to know

413
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:19.640
an aspect of the love of God

414
00:35:20.740 --> 00:35:22.360
that is foreign to most people.

415
00:35:23.320 --> 00:35:25.320
And that God is desperately wanting people

416
00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:26.640
to grab hold of it.

417
00:35:26.640 --> 00:35:29.200
And it's not just new believers.

418
00:35:29.200 --> 00:35:31.240
As a matter of fact, there are a whole lot of people

419
00:35:31.240 --> 00:35:35.760
in the church that really need to comprehend,

420
00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:39.640
to get, to taste, to see, to experience,

421
00:35:39.640 --> 00:35:42.720
taste and see that the Lord is good, the love of God.

422
00:35:44.080 --> 00:35:45.300
And I think this is,

423
00:35:47.520 --> 00:35:49.480
I think that's what I was seeing

424
00:35:49.480 --> 00:35:51.840
is that there's the left side,

425
00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:53.760
the logical side is the concept

426
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:57.040
and the right side, the creative side

427
00:35:57.040 --> 00:35:58.360
is kind of the expression.

428
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:03.480
I think that there's a meeting of these two things

429
00:36:03.480 --> 00:36:07.080
where you get, there's the concepts and the expression,

430
00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:10.040
not just how those things are expressed,

431
00:36:10.040 --> 00:36:12.320
but there's an aspect of who God is

432
00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:14.000
that's getting to be,

433
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:17.000
getting ready to be expressed through you.

434
00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:18.800
And I think it's gonna be really stretching

435
00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:21.800
and it may even be in modalities that you're not used to.

436
00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:26.800
So as, as, you know, Forrest Gump said,

437
00:36:27.640 --> 00:36:28.480
Forrest Gump said,

438
00:36:28.480 --> 00:36:31.160
well, that's all I gotta say about that.

439
00:36:31.160 --> 00:36:34.600
The other thing that I had,

440
00:36:34.600 --> 00:36:36.320
does any of that make any sense to you?

441
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:37.160
I feel like I just-

442
00:36:37.160 --> 00:36:38.840
Oh yeah, very much so.

443
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:43.760
I mean, because when God has me give messages

444
00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:48.760
or, you know, and even on preparing this course,

445
00:36:49.200 --> 00:36:52.040
I thought what, what would God, you know,

446
00:36:52.040 --> 00:36:55.240
if Jesus was going to teach this course,

447
00:36:55.240 --> 00:36:58.000
what would he do at the very beginning?

448
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:01.160
He'd sit them all down and pour out his love on them.

449
00:37:03.720 --> 00:37:06.440
He wouldn't tell them what to do.

450
00:37:06.440 --> 00:37:11.440
He would give them such a deep experience of his love.

451
00:37:11.720 --> 00:37:13.600
That's what he would do.

452
00:37:13.600 --> 00:37:16.840
Because we love, because he first loved us.

453
00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:21.240
And I'm, I'm going off the president

454
00:37:21.240 --> 00:37:24.120
of the Indian Bible college.

455
00:37:24.120 --> 00:37:29.120
I'm going over his notes, his syllabus and everything.

456
00:37:29.120 --> 00:37:34.120
And it's pretty much left side concept.

457
00:37:34.240 --> 00:37:35.400
Yep.

458
00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:36.640
All the things are right.

459
00:37:38.120 --> 00:37:39.680
All that he says is right.

460
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:45.960
But without the love and, you know,

461
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:47.280
it's like, that's the fuel.

462
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:49.840
That's the encounter with God.

463
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:51.480
That's the whole thing.

464
00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:52.680
Yep.

465
00:37:52.680 --> 00:37:56.560
I mean, and in the Bible, when God commissioned people,

466
00:37:56.560 --> 00:37:58.640
they got a vision of him first.

467
00:37:58.640 --> 00:38:02.200
They didn't, you know, like the disciples,

468
00:38:02.200 --> 00:38:04.120
they were with him.

469
00:38:04.120 --> 00:38:07.920
Isaiah, Ezekiel, they,

470
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:10.120
and even Moses saw the glory of God.

471
00:38:11.720 --> 00:38:16.720
So that, I mean, it's not, yeah.

472
00:38:18.360 --> 00:38:20.120
I mean, that's so right on.

473
00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:22.160
And I don't know.

474
00:38:22.160 --> 00:38:27.040
I mean, the creative side, I mean, I write and I write,

475
00:38:27.040 --> 00:38:31.240
I've written devotionals and I actually sent one

476
00:38:31.240 --> 00:38:33.960
that I'd written about glory of God seen

477
00:38:33.960 --> 00:38:37.600
in my mission experience in Japan.

478
00:38:37.600 --> 00:38:41.880
And the pastor really liked it.

479
00:38:41.880 --> 00:38:44.080
And I think that's when it started

480
00:38:44.080 --> 00:38:47.400
me getting these opportunities.

481
00:38:47.480 --> 00:38:52.480
And yeah, so I write,

482
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:57.800
I don't really think I can paint, you know,

483
00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:00.600
but I do like artistic expression.

484
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:03.760
Yeah.

485
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:06.760
Well, I mean, literally, I mean,

486
00:39:06.760 --> 00:39:08.760
I didn't really understand it.

487
00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:12.200
It could be really the conundrum you're in about,

488
00:39:13.200 --> 00:39:16.040
I know like Indian as an India,

489
00:39:16.040 --> 00:39:19.360
Indian people really value intellect.

490
00:39:21.080 --> 00:39:23.560
They really, really do.

491
00:39:23.560 --> 00:39:28.080
And they value degrees and they value having

492
00:39:28.080 --> 00:39:29.880
what master's degrees and doctorates.

493
00:39:29.880 --> 00:39:32.080
And they can be very learned people.

494
00:39:33.160 --> 00:39:35.360
And so I think the conundrum,

495
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:37.640
maybe even part of what I was seeing

496
00:39:37.640 --> 00:39:40.640
is the situation that you're in

497
00:39:40.680 --> 00:39:45.440
where you have this very left-brained, logical,

498
00:39:45.440 --> 00:39:47.960
nothing's wrong, everything's right.

499
00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:49.800
All the concepts are good,

500
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:54.680
but there's an aspect of the personage,

501
00:39:54.680 --> 00:39:57.360
the expression, if you want to lack a better term,

502
00:39:57.360 --> 00:39:58.360
that is missing.

503
00:39:58.360 --> 00:39:59.400
And you're trying to figure out,

504
00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:00.600
like these things are.

505
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.000
supposed to work together.

506
00:40:01.600 --> 00:40:05.120
You know, it's kind of like you have the word people and you have the spirit

507
00:40:05.120 --> 00:40:12.040
people and, and, and the word people, it's like the third part of the Trinity

508
00:40:12.040 --> 00:40:16.720
is the Bible and the spirit people are just kind of all experience-based, you

509
00:40:16.720 --> 00:40:20.880
know, encounters, they kind of get all over, but you need to have both.

510
00:40:22.460 --> 00:40:26.680
And it's like, how do you, cause I was like, there was a riddle.

511
00:40:26.720 --> 00:40:28.680
Like, I felt like you're trying to solve a riddle.

512
00:40:29.400 --> 00:40:33.480
And I think part of that riddle is this situation that you're in with, how do

513
00:40:33.480 --> 00:40:41.520
you, how do you, from Jesus's perspective, how do you impart and teach these people

514
00:40:42.240 --> 00:40:47.960
the full message, which includes him in what it is, not just the cop, not just

515
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:53.220
the concept, it's like infusing them with the blood, you know, infusing them

516
00:40:53.220 --> 00:40:59.900
with who he is, not as much that you're going to be a painter, but

517
00:40:59.900 --> 00:41:02.540
it's like, how do you do that?

518
00:41:02.540 --> 00:41:08.460
I do feel that there's an aspect of stretching coming into your life.

519
00:41:11.100 --> 00:41:15.580
I've heard, I kind of laugh when I say this, so please forgive me, but it's

520
00:41:15.580 --> 00:41:19.100
like the argument I have, I hear in my head and I've heard this before

521
00:41:19.300 --> 00:41:21.060
is like, I'm too old for this.

522
00:41:22.300 --> 00:41:22.820
Yes.

523
00:41:23.620 --> 00:41:24.900
I'm 72.

524
00:41:25.900 --> 00:41:30.500
Well, you don't look 72, but it's like, Lord, I'm too old for this.

525
00:41:30.860 --> 00:41:33.660
Why couldn't you have done this when I was this old?

526
00:41:34.020 --> 00:41:35.220
Yes, exactly.

527
00:41:35.340 --> 00:41:41.180
Like, I don't, I don't know if I have the capacity to change blah, blah,

528
00:41:41.180 --> 00:41:43.620
blah, or to be stretched in this way.

529
00:41:44.300 --> 00:41:46.900
You know, old people are not flexible, Lord.

530
00:41:46.900 --> 00:41:51.100
Let me tell you, you know, as I've argued with him and given him all the

531
00:41:51.100 --> 00:41:56.460
excuses in the world of why I can't do all kinds of things and, uh, but thank

532
00:41:56.460 --> 00:42:00.820
God he wins because I used to do that with why I can't have her, why I can't

533
00:42:00.820 --> 00:42:02.580
get married, well, now I am right.

534
00:42:02.580 --> 00:42:03.980
So the Lord won.

535
00:42:04.340 --> 00:42:06.060
He had it in him and you didn't know.

536
00:42:06.540 --> 00:42:09.540
Uh, you know, I was like, I'm living by faith.

537
00:42:09.540 --> 00:42:10.500
I have no money.

538
00:42:10.500 --> 00:42:14.460
I'm all the stuff, all the money I have is going to be traveling and blah,

539
00:42:14.460 --> 00:42:15.020
blah, blah.

540
00:42:15.020 --> 00:42:16.740
And a woman doesn't want to do these things or whatever.

541
00:42:16.740 --> 00:42:17.900
I had all the excuses, right?

542
00:42:18.300 --> 00:42:20.660
So, but thank God that God knows what he's doing.

543
00:42:20.660 --> 00:42:24.820
But I feel like there is a stretchiness that God is going to make you supple

544
00:42:24.820 --> 00:42:26.900
again, and he's going to stretch you.

545
00:42:27.540 --> 00:42:32.700
And, and some of it is so that you can be used more readily by him.

546
00:42:32.700 --> 00:42:37.500
But some of it is also that you can experience and have that newness again,

547
00:42:38.260 --> 00:42:40.140
um, in your relationship with him.

548
00:42:40.540 --> 00:42:45.020
And he's like going to rekindle the first love fire, you know, that first love place.

549
00:42:45.700 --> 00:42:46.140
Yeah.

550
00:42:46.220 --> 00:42:54.060
And, and, you know, it's like when you meet someone, like all I can think of is

551
00:42:54.060 --> 00:42:59.580
like a science fiction movie and a robot says, what is love, you know?

552
00:42:59.940 --> 00:43:05.460
And then this person's like, well, how do you really express what that is?

553
00:43:05.540 --> 00:43:07.500
Like, that's really hard.

554
00:43:07.540 --> 00:43:11.340
Like how, how do you actually, to someone that has no concept about what love is,

555
00:43:11.340 --> 00:43:13.620
how do you actually put it into words into a way?

556
00:43:13.940 --> 00:43:17.700
And that's, and I feel like there is some things coming.

557
00:43:17.740 --> 00:43:22.380
Like, I believe that you, I almost hate saying this, but I really believe

558
00:43:22.700 --> 00:43:24.020
that you have encounters coming.

559
00:43:25.420 --> 00:43:31.380
Can I encounters coming that are going to create conundrums, you know, encounters

560
00:43:31.380 --> 00:43:35.540
coming, they're going to leave you searching God to find out what this

561
00:43:35.540 --> 00:43:41.580
actually means, but then there's the, how do you take this experience and find

562
00:43:41.580 --> 00:43:47.220
a way to express it to people that they can actually capture and catch like any

563
00:43:47.220 --> 00:43:51.580
missionary that's ever been on a mission trip, let's say you have this profound

564
00:43:51.580 --> 00:43:54.780
experience, nobody can take it with you.

565
00:43:55.300 --> 00:43:59.020
And then you go home and you try to explain to people what you just

566
00:43:59.020 --> 00:44:01.100
experienced and nobody gets it.

567
00:44:01.700 --> 00:44:02.740
Right, exactly.

568
00:44:02.860 --> 00:44:05.620
It's the most frustrating thing in the world.

569
00:44:05.700 --> 00:44:09.500
Like you're, it's like life changing thing that just happened.

570
00:44:09.500 --> 00:44:11.380
And they're like, oh, okay, cool.

571
00:44:11.380 --> 00:44:12.380
What was it like?

572
00:44:12.700 --> 00:44:15.300
You know, did you like, oh, you were in Japan.

573
00:44:15.300 --> 00:44:17.180
Did, do they have pickles there?

574
00:44:17.180 --> 00:44:19.540
Like what, like, did you have to eat raw fish?

575
00:44:19.580 --> 00:44:22.060
You know, it's kind of like you're missing the whole thing.

576
00:44:22.980 --> 00:44:26.260
And I feel like there's a, that the Lord is going to, there's going to be a grace

577
00:44:26.260 --> 00:44:33.140
on your life to reconcile the facts with the reality so that people can experience

578
00:44:33.140 --> 00:44:35.860
things, not just understand and know things.

579
00:44:36.700 --> 00:44:37.260
Hmm.

580
00:44:38.020 --> 00:44:44.260
The other thing, the other thing that I, I don't know what means is I kept seeing

581
00:44:44.260 --> 00:44:50.540
15 and normally if I see a number when I'm, when I'm looking at someone or

582
00:44:50.540 --> 00:44:55.420
thinking of someone that normally means not saying it's true here, you know, my,

583
00:44:55.460 --> 00:44:59.700
my friend, Chris would say like this, I feel like 15 is significant to you.

584
00:44:59.700 --> 00:45:00.060
Does that?

585
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.400
mean anything to you, but I kind of feel normally when I see a number when I'm looking at someone

586
00:45:08.400 --> 00:45:15.920
that normally means that something happened significant something happened significant

587
00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:23.240
either positive negative something formative happened when somebody was like at 15. Was

588
00:45:23.240 --> 00:45:36.440
there anything specific in your life going on around the age of 15? Let's see. What grade

589
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:44.960
in school would I have been in? Sophomore maybe? 9th or 10th. Yeah, 15, 16, sophomore,

590
00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:54.880
14, 15, and 9th grade. Yeah, I sophomore in high school. That's when we moved to California from

591
00:45:54.880 --> 00:46:10.800
Washington State. Started my sophomore year in California. And that that was I mean it was really

592
00:46:10.800 --> 00:46:19.920
lonely leaving all my friends and the church I knew. But I can't think of anything in particular

593
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:25.600
that happened. I mean maybe God will bring something up.

594
00:46:31.120 --> 00:46:36.480
Yeah, I can't think of anything specific that happened during that time. I just know it was

595
00:46:37.040 --> 00:46:44.400
adjusting to California was very was. I mean California is a new culture. Yeah, it's a

596
00:46:44.400 --> 00:46:51.840
different. It's almost like a different culture. Yeah, so I remember feeling quite lonely and

597
00:46:55.200 --> 00:47:01.120
at that time in Washington State all the neighborhood kids played together. All the

598
00:47:01.120 --> 00:47:05.600
family, everybody in the neighborhood, you know the parents knew each other and

599
00:47:06.160 --> 00:47:16.240
hung out together and so different in California. I mean I know my neighbors next to a few people on

600
00:47:16.240 --> 00:47:22.320
the street that I talk with, but that's unusual. Usually you don't even know your neighbors. Yeah.

601
00:47:23.600 --> 00:47:32.960
So yeah, I can't think of anything in particular. I'd have to

602
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:41.280
Yeah. Yeah. Well, it doesn't mean like I said I'm not I'm not putting it on you that sometimes I have

603
00:47:41.280 --> 00:47:44.960
to be careful because there's sometimes I like hey did anything happen around seven

604
00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:52.880
or whatever and then next thing you know they're convinced that they had some great trauma happened

605
00:47:52.880 --> 00:47:58.240
or something along those lines and that's that's not it. I'm saying normally it's 15, but what I've

606
00:47:59.200 --> 00:48:09.520
noticed in some of the calls that we've had is God addressing formative times where

607
00:48:12.560 --> 00:48:20.800
mindsets were formed. I'll put it that way and addressed and or that there was something in

608
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:28.080
that time period that he's wanting to go back and if for no other reason than he wants to reclaim it

609
00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:36.320
and I have one of the leaders here his name is Rick. He would say he loves history. He's been

610
00:48:36.320 --> 00:48:42.880
a history buff his whole life and it's history is really his story. It's the Lord's story

611
00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:49.200
and what I've seen with when he does sometimes with people is he'll go back and reclaim something

612
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:55.200
and that their history becomes his story or he inserts himself into something or he'll show

613
00:48:55.280 --> 00:49:00.560
like how you know this thing that you're dealing with now was formed all the way back here

614
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:10.000
and one thing I don't know exactly how to put this but I believe that

615
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:20.880
something that you value is relationship and community and there's and it also I could be

616
00:49:20.880 --> 00:49:32.000
wrong seems to be something that you've longed for but missed and that's another riddle like I

617
00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:38.320
see it's like it's something that is of high value you believe it's of high value to the Lord

618
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:41.920
you've tasted of it kind of like what you're talking about back in Washington

619
00:49:42.560 --> 00:49:48.640
but it seemed to have looted you somehow as a matter of fact I think that you've probably

620
00:49:48.640 --> 00:49:55.040
experienced a certain amount of rejection in the midst of what you've been doing yeah

621
00:49:56.240 --> 00:49:59.840
and this is something that I sensed back when you were talking earlier

622
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.160
before you ever talked about Washington, when you were talking about Japan, and I never really,

623
00:50:06.160 --> 00:50:11.280
you know, you and I've talked a lot, and this word had never come to me before the beginning of this

624
00:50:11.280 --> 00:50:15.040
discussion where you were talking about, you know, I believe that my identity was in Japan and

625
00:50:15.040 --> 00:50:20.000
everything. Well, you remember I was a missionary kid as well, and in talking to a lot of missionaries,

626
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.640
what I've noticed is sometimes it's people's, and I'm not saying this was your draw,

627
00:50:24.640 --> 00:50:29.280
but sometimes people's draw to the mission field is for this, and regardless of whether

628
00:50:29.280 --> 00:50:34.880
or not it is, they suffer for it when they come back, and that is that they finally feel a sense

629
00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:41.760
of belonging. They finally feel a sense of community in the missionary community because

630
00:50:42.800 --> 00:50:47.760
you have to be family. You have to get along, even if you're from different denominations,

631
00:50:47.760 --> 00:50:52.480
different cultures, different countries, all there for the same purpose. You've got to get

632
00:50:52.480 --> 00:50:57.760
along because there's nobody else. It makes you, it forces you to work things out, and it forces

633
00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:02.880
you to a certain level of intimacy with people, giving you a certain measure of belonging, so when

634
00:51:02.880 --> 00:51:08.480
you had talked about the fact of, you know, I always feel, you know, I think that I got a lot of my

635
00:51:08.480 --> 00:51:13.920
identity in being there. Some of what people struggle with when they leave the mission field

636
00:51:13.920 --> 00:51:19.920
is that this sense that they were a part of something, and there was a safety and a security

637
00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:26.080
in being accepted that they struggle to, in the rest of the world, now forces them to earn.

638
00:51:26.880 --> 00:51:31.840
So, anyway, that was just something that I, that I had sensed. It was fascinating how this,

639
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:35.680
how this discussion has progressed and these things that are coming out because that was

640
00:51:35.680 --> 00:51:39.920
something that I never thought of in our discussions, you know, all the things that you shared

641
00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:45.040
me about your past and everything, until this discussion. So, anyways, just a thought. Sorry to

642
00:51:45.040 --> 00:51:50.720
interrupt you. No, no, no. I just wanted to draw a connection to an important part of her life. Yeah, yeah,

643
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:57.040
yeah, that's really true. Yeah, no, I think that's, I think that's really valid, and that was the thing

644
00:51:57.040 --> 00:52:04.640
that struck me most about, you know, that time period when you moved, is like, there's no utopia,

645
00:52:04.640 --> 00:52:09.920
you know, you can't go back to when you were a kid because things are, there's a certain aura, light

646
00:52:09.920 --> 00:52:15.680
on your life when you were a child that makes things all seem great, you know, like Christmas, when

647
00:52:15.680 --> 00:52:21.040
you were a kid. Christmas is never the same, right? We know that Jesus wasn't born on Christmas

648
00:52:21.040 --> 00:52:27.600
day, okay, but it's time, it's Christmas, you know, we get it, but Christmas is never the same as when

649
00:52:27.600 --> 00:52:32.000
we were a kid, the older we get, and so we have to be careful when we look back, but I think there's

650
00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:40.160
an aspect of that community that is in the heart of God that he wants and is lacking, and in this,

651
00:52:40.240 --> 00:52:43.760
I don't want to get on a soapbox, but I, you know, I had a friend of mine

652
00:52:45.360 --> 00:52:51.120
preach the sermon about who has your back, and in the Roman, that's, that came from the day of the

653
00:52:51.120 --> 00:52:55.840
Roman soldiers, where they had to learn that you would fight back-to-back with someone, and then

654
00:52:55.840 --> 00:53:02.800
literally someone was, had your back, which is the most vulnerable part of you, of your armor, and all

655
00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:09.440
those types of things, and he had these statistics about, and this is 10 years ago at least,

656
00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:13.600
that the statistics even then, that in an age when we're most connected,

657
00:53:15.120 --> 00:53:20.720
loneliness is at a highest point, that in this place where we're supposed to be connected,

658
00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:27.200
which technologically we are, people are, loneliness was at the highest rate, that the

659
00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:33.040
antidepressants and things were the highest rate, and so that there's a lacking of legitimate

660
00:53:33.120 --> 00:53:39.520
relationship and community that's missing, and if you notice the amount of

661
00:53:40.560 --> 00:53:45.600
ailments and illnesses and things that came during COVID, when nobody could be connected,

662
00:53:46.160 --> 00:53:53.600
and we couldn't be near one another even, I feel like there is a real lack of that

663
00:53:53.600 --> 00:53:57.440
in society in general, and I'm not prophesying to you that you're,

664
00:53:58.400 --> 00:54:05.520
that you're an answer to that, but what I believe is that that cry in your heart is really a cry in

665
00:54:05.520 --> 00:54:13.360
the Lord's heart, that for authentic real community, and I'm sorry, I don't want to

666
00:54:13.360 --> 00:54:18.640
offend anyone at all, but I've said for some time that I feel like the megachurch, the time of the

667
00:54:18.640 --> 00:54:26.320
megachurch is done. You can't have, you can sit in there, you could go every week,

668
00:54:27.280 --> 00:54:32.480
and never have an authentic relationship with anyone. There's no real community. Doesn't mean

669
00:54:32.480 --> 00:54:38.240
you can't, right? You go to a big, not anything, I'm a part of a large church here, okay, so I'm

670
00:54:38.240 --> 00:54:43.520
not picking on your church, but the point is you can go to this large church, you can get into one

671
00:54:43.520 --> 00:54:50.400
of the small groups, but it still doesn't, it still doesn't scratch the itch. There's no real

672
00:54:51.280 --> 00:54:56.080
intimate, real relationship, no community kind of a thing that exists, and I feel like this is

673
00:54:56.080 --> 00:54:58.640
something that's really powerfully on God's heart.

674
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.480
that he wants a community and a friend of mine used to say

675
00:55:03.480 --> 00:55:06.240
tearfully, one thing he knows more than anything, that God

676
00:55:06.240 --> 00:55:07.120
wants a family.

677
00:55:09.680 --> 00:55:14.640
That God wants a family. And I feel that there's this, you

678
00:55:14.640 --> 00:55:17.400
know, I feel like there's a aspect of this that God's

679
00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:20.640
wanting to heal in you, but an aspect of which this is really

680
00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:24.100
on the heart of the Lord. Now, I feel like there was one other

681
00:55:24.100 --> 00:55:30.300
thing that I had that now has escaped my my memory.

682
00:55:31.900 --> 00:55:36.580
Well, well, it's just gonna just in just kind of like maybe

683
00:55:36.580 --> 00:55:39.660
draw some connections for you, Chris, and things that I know

684
00:55:39.660 --> 00:55:43.380
about her, or actually things like the fact that how

685
00:55:43.380 --> 00:55:46.860
important it is that where it is that she's been, you know,

686
00:55:46.860 --> 00:55:49.220
you're you, I don't remember, you've been there about like

687
00:55:49.220 --> 00:55:52.300
five years, something like that in your room. And she's renting

688
00:55:52.300 --> 00:55:55.300
this room from this family. And one of the struggles is not

689
00:55:55.340 --> 00:56:00.020
feeling like she's been received by the family. And I listened to

690
00:56:00.020 --> 00:56:02.500
her. And I'm thinking, Lord, what's the connection? What's

691
00:56:02.500 --> 00:56:04.860
the word for that? And I think it's what we've been talking

692
00:56:04.860 --> 00:56:08.780
about. The other thing is, and I had been pulling this out more

693
00:56:08.780 --> 00:56:13.300
recently, because of the things that when what happened, that

694
00:56:13.300 --> 00:56:15.940
everybody got fired, all of these people that you were

695
00:56:15.940 --> 00:56:20.820
close to, and it devastated you so much. I mean, you came on

696
00:56:20.820 --> 00:56:26.660
there, more in more raw emotion about that than you were about

697
00:56:26.700 --> 00:56:29.220
like the diagnosis of cancer and the treatment that you've been

698
00:56:29.220 --> 00:56:33.020
through. And I'm not saying that. But I'm saying that with

699
00:56:33.060 --> 00:56:36.900
us, you know, whenever you would come on with us, we didn't have

700
00:56:36.900 --> 00:56:40.580
that raw emotion when you would talk about that. But we did with

701
00:56:40.580 --> 00:56:44.940
this with this, with all of this firing, and I was realizing

702
00:56:44.940 --> 00:56:49.140
there were there was that was the your community, and and your

703
00:56:49.140 --> 00:56:53.460
sense of like family. And now it was being it was being

704
00:56:53.460 --> 00:56:56.100
threatened. And it was being taken from you, you know,

705
00:56:56.100 --> 00:56:58.900
outside of control. And it was like traumatic, because there's

706
00:56:58.900 --> 00:57:02.340
like 10 of them all at once. It's not like one. And so

707
00:57:02.340 --> 00:57:04.660
anyway, I think that there's all of these very fascinating,

708
00:57:04.660 --> 00:57:08.340
interesting points that I'm just kind of, you know, help to kind

709
00:57:08.340 --> 00:57:11.260
of affirm the fact that this is an important thing to you. And

710
00:57:11.260 --> 00:57:15.740
like what Ed said, there's more to be taken from this than

711
00:57:15.740 --> 00:57:20.540
simply, oh, by the way, are you good on time? I am. Okay, I

712
00:57:20.540 --> 00:57:24.180
would want to know. I'm fine. Yeah. But to make sure. Yeah,

713
00:57:24.180 --> 00:57:28.580
thank you. But that there's more than just like, just healing.

714
00:57:28.660 --> 00:57:31.740
And that I believe that the Lord wants to address, wanted to

715
00:57:31.740 --> 00:57:34.180
mention that I believe that like Ed pointed out, there's a

716
00:57:34.180 --> 00:57:37.900
redemptive aspect in the fact that I believe that the way that

717
00:57:37.900 --> 00:57:40.620
the that the Lord has, the reason the Lord is kind of like

718
00:57:40.620 --> 00:57:43.020
made this a highlight, so to speak in your life, I don't mean

719
00:57:43.020 --> 00:57:45.500
that he's caused these things to happen, but that he's

720
00:57:45.500 --> 00:57:48.660
highlighting this for you right now, is because this is what

721
00:57:48.660 --> 00:57:52.700
you're meant to bring exactly, which is what he was saying. And

722
00:57:52.700 --> 00:57:56.620
it's fascinating how that happens, how the the areas of

723
00:57:56.620 --> 00:58:00.780
our deepest woundings and our deepest longings are expressions

724
00:58:01.060 --> 00:58:05.020
of in a way of what it is that the Lord is feeling, you know,

725
00:58:05.020 --> 00:58:08.260
like he was talking about, you know, the Lord's heart, and then

726
00:58:08.260 --> 00:58:14.060
we actually feel that and we actually experience, there's an

727
00:58:14.060 --> 00:58:17.460
experience that we have on earth that reflects that, that

728
00:58:17.460 --> 00:58:21.020
lack, and that, you know, in other words, that lack of it

729
00:58:21.020 --> 00:58:23.700
being what the Lord intended, and the fact that the Lord

730
00:58:23.700 --> 00:58:27.940
desires for and longs for that to for that to come, and that

731
00:58:27.940 --> 00:58:31.340
you were the answer. You were what God, you know, you were

732
00:58:31.340 --> 00:58:36.540
what God wants to bring that aspect of him into the earth

733
00:58:36.540 --> 00:58:39.940
through that, that creating belonging, creating community,

734
00:58:39.940 --> 00:58:42.420
creating relationships, building bridges, building

735
00:58:42.420 --> 00:58:46.260
connections. So anyway, as a redemptive aspect, more than

736
00:58:46.260 --> 00:58:47.060
just simply healing.

737
00:58:47.100 --> 00:58:51.540
I agree 100%. And I'm thinking of speaking of being stretched

738
00:58:51.540 --> 00:58:55.780
and what she's saying is that there's this wonderful man I

739
00:58:55.780 --> 00:59:00.620
knew, or still knowing, but I met him years ago now. And I

740
00:59:00.620 --> 00:59:03.340
heard him talking about anointing. And he said, you

741
00:59:03.340 --> 00:59:06.100
know, he stopped for a second, he says, you know, most people

742
00:59:06.100 --> 00:59:10.540
think of anointing is this is kind of like magical God pixie

743
00:59:10.580 --> 00:59:14.980
dust that is sprinkled on people. And it's like magic. And

744
00:59:14.980 --> 00:59:18.500
he said, the word anointing really has nothing to do with

745
00:59:18.500 --> 00:59:21.740
that, though that can happen. He goes, it really just means

746
00:59:21.740 --> 00:59:25.820
alignment to purpose. You know, like this pillar, as he

747
00:59:25.820 --> 00:59:30.260
pointed, is anointed to hold up this to hold up the ceiling.

748
00:59:31.140 --> 00:59:33.780
And thank God it's doing it's aligned and doing its job,

749
00:59:33.820 --> 00:59:37.220
right? Otherwise, we'd be in trouble. And he said that,

750
00:59:37.700 --> 00:59:42.060
really, having an anointing or being anointed, in a way is to

751
00:59:42.060 --> 00:59:46.860
be aligned to purpose. And so in a meeting, you know, there's an

752
00:59:46.860 --> 00:59:49.820
anointing for something, if you can align to God's purpose, for

753
00:59:49.820 --> 00:59:54.060
instance, in a meeting, then once that's aligned, boom, that

754
00:59:54.060 --> 00:59:56.740
anointing for that thing to happen, if it's healing, if

755
00:59:56.740 --> 01:00:00.060
it's whatever it is, right, then he makes it more personal.

756
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.000
And he says, the thing about anointing is that most people assume that they're anointed to do what they're really good at.

757
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:11.000
Oftentimes, that's actually not true.

758
01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:16.000
Oftentimes, your greatest anointing lies in your greatest challenge.

759
01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:22.000
So with this in mind, I firmly believe that one of the great anointings of your life

760
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:24.000
is community.

761
01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:30.000
To establish and give roots to a place of community.

762
01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:36.000
And you can't have true community without love, for instance.

763
01:00:36.000 --> 01:00:50.000
And I think that if I'm not, I don't want to say mark my words, but if there's anything to what I'm saying, I think one of the profound testimonies you're going to start to see from your classes, from your students, is that there is a level of community

764
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:54.000
that exists in there that doesn't exist anywhere else.

765
01:00:54.000 --> 01:01:01.000
And I think a hallmark that is going to rest upon what you do going forward is going to be community itself.

766
01:01:01.000 --> 01:01:09.000
And I'm not saying that you're going to create a commune, where everybody's going to come and live and sing Kumbaya, or whatever.

767
01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:20.000
You know, everybody shaves their heads or wears saffron robes or whatever. You know, I'm saying that I believe that a testimony of this anointing of your life, because there's a cry of yours.

768
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:33.000
And I think that even though it's eluded you that you hold keys to community, and for community to be to be established. I think God is going to release it and that you already have those things.

769
01:01:33.000 --> 01:01:36.000
And the last thing that I want to say.

770
01:01:36.000 --> 01:01:46.000
And along with some of this as an adjunct is, I was talking to a friend of mine, one of my best friends or was when he was here.

771
01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:48.000
I live.

772
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:50.000
I went out of ministry.

773
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:52.000
I work here.

774
01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:55.000
We live here.

775
01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:58.000
We are the churches here.

776
01:01:58.000 --> 01:02:08.000
A lot of relationships are here the people that I minister to are here. We're in it. Right. And we don't have to leave except to go to the grocery store and that's usually me.

777
01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:18.000
And so weeks but I can literally go weeks I realized I didn't know I went out to go somewhere once and realized I didn't know where my car was.

778
01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:21.000
I had to think about who I'd loaned it to last.

779
01:02:21.000 --> 01:02:27.000
Was I the last one to drive it. And I realized I hadn't left the building in two weeks.

780
01:02:27.000 --> 01:02:28.000
Right.

781
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:33.000
And there are good things about it. And there are not good things about it.

782
01:02:33.000 --> 01:02:45.000
But one thing is, is true is that you when you live in those places you live in a bubble we call the bubble in a way, and you're kind of suspended reality you're not, you're not.

783
01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:48.000
You're kind of in your own little ecosystem.

784
01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:58.000
I find out about what's going on in the world because somebody tells me I don't have like a regular television less I go searching for the news I don't, I don't find out what's really going on.

785
01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:11.000
But there's a certain level of fear let's call it that, of people of leaving in a way because you're, you have such an insular, and there's a certain level of community.

786
01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:19.000
And you're all living in this kind of world like, you know, even missionaries like it can be very hard.

787
01:03:19.000 --> 01:03:31.000
And there's an aspect of fellowship in it that you miss and you don't want to leave, even if it's dysfunctional and there's dysfunction here, right, in a way, but this is where I'm heading and I was talking to my friend Nathan about it.

788
01:03:31.000 --> 01:03:41.000
And he left here. During coven to go start another school in New Zealand. And because of coven in so many other things.

789
01:03:41.000 --> 01:03:44.000
He was delayed six months to be able to leave.

790
01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:48.000
He then gets stuck in Australia, where he's his home is at.

791
01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:57.000
He then just gets over to New Zealand, everything's been on hold. Nothing's moving forward. There's this huge amount of delay.

792
01:03:57.000 --> 01:04:00.000
It's been a year and a half process.

793
01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:09.000
And he doesn't know when it's all going to come play out and he made this very interesting statement to me about him realizing that he was burned out.

794
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:13.000
The extent of the burnout that he was in.

795
01:04:13.000 --> 01:04:23.000
And then he said that the things some of the things he felt like God was doing in his life. And then he made this really interesting statement.

796
01:04:23.000 --> 01:04:32.000
And then I'm going to address you in a second. And he said, you know, it's really interesting and when you're in a season like this.

797
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:35.000
And you've been in the bubble so long.

798
01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:37.000
And you're working for God.

799
01:04:37.000 --> 01:04:44.000
And I don't want to say he didn't say professional Christian but in a way you're professional Christian like your job is to serve the Lord.

800
01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:51.000
And you're doing all these things, there's an aspect of your relationship that's God, that's included as part of your job.

801
01:04:51.000 --> 01:04:58.000
You wake up every day. You have to read scripture. You have to research, you have to do the things to prepare to be able to teach.

802
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:00.000
So if you're not doing these things.

803
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.840
then you're not gonna be able to do your job.

804
01:05:02.840 --> 01:05:05.560
He said, but when that is removed,

805
01:05:08.280 --> 01:05:10.560
then you have to ask some questions

806
01:05:10.560 --> 01:05:13.280
about your relationship with God,

807
01:05:13.280 --> 01:05:16.240
because now the need that you have to do these things

808
01:05:16.240 --> 01:05:19.400
every day in order to do your job,

809
01:05:19.400 --> 01:05:21.840
and you're left with just a relationship of God,

810
01:05:23.160 --> 01:05:24.280
what do you really care about?

811
01:05:24.280 --> 01:05:25.320
And what are you really gonna do?

812
01:05:25.360 --> 01:05:30.000
Now, this guy has been, his dad has been a pastor

813
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:34.280
and a missionary, Nathan grew up in the church,

814
01:05:34.280 --> 01:05:37.800
he's run youth, he's 52 years old,

815
01:05:37.800 --> 01:05:39.800
and he's been in some form of ministry

816
01:05:39.800 --> 01:05:41.200
basically his whole life,

817
01:05:41.200 --> 01:05:43.560
and now he's in this suspended state

818
01:05:43.560 --> 01:05:48.560
and he's having to go and like, man, so now what?

819
01:05:48.560 --> 01:05:53.560
And what I feel like I'm hearing

820
01:05:54.200 --> 01:05:55.960
is that you passed that test,

821
01:05:58.280 --> 01:06:01.520
that when you had that place where you were serving God,

822
01:06:01.520 --> 01:06:05.000
living in the bubble, and there is like a simplicity in life

823
01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:08.640
and I'm in this place, I'm newly married,

824
01:06:08.640 --> 01:06:09.880
I'm asking a lot of questions

825
01:06:09.880 --> 01:06:12.160
about how am I gonna provide for my family?

826
01:06:12.160 --> 01:06:13.880
What am I gonna do?

827
01:06:13.880 --> 01:06:16.920
I've been, I've surrendered my corporate life

828
01:06:16.920 --> 01:06:19.160
so far back there, and I'm asking myself,

829
01:06:19.160 --> 01:06:20.160
what am I gonna do?

830
01:06:20.160 --> 01:06:21.800
How am I gonna do this?

831
01:06:21.800 --> 01:06:23.400
There's a simplicity in life

832
01:06:23.400 --> 01:06:25.720
when you're in that place of serving God.

833
01:06:25.720 --> 01:06:29.120
But when that place, that's the tunnel vision,

834
01:06:29.120 --> 01:06:32.080
that's all you have is removed,

835
01:06:33.440 --> 01:06:35.440
things become a little more complicated.

836
01:06:36.720 --> 01:06:38.720
And I believe what I'm seeing or feeling

837
01:06:38.720 --> 01:06:42.160
or sensing from the Lord is that you passed that test.

838
01:06:43.160 --> 01:06:47.200
You came out of that place where your life was so simple.

839
01:06:47.200 --> 01:06:49.520
All you did was pursue him.

840
01:06:49.520 --> 01:06:51.480
All you were was a missionary.

841
01:06:51.480 --> 01:06:53.120
He came out of that place.

842
01:06:53.120 --> 01:06:55.160
You entered back into the world

843
01:06:55.160 --> 01:06:57.440
and you did not relent in your pursuit of him.

844
01:06:59.000 --> 01:07:00.160
For his sake.

845
01:07:00.160 --> 01:07:02.120
For his sake alone.

846
01:07:02.120 --> 01:07:04.520
Not because you had to prepare something,

847
01:07:04.520 --> 01:07:06.960
not just to be able to serve him,

848
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:09.040
but purely out of relationship,

849
01:07:09.040 --> 01:07:11.000
and it's like you chose him.

850
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:12.080
Yeah, yeah.

851
01:07:12.840 --> 01:07:15.000
You didn't just choose the profession.

852
01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:16.920
You didn't choose the career.

853
01:07:16.920 --> 01:07:18.040
You chose him.

854
01:07:19.480 --> 01:07:20.840
And I feel like that,

855
01:07:20.840 --> 01:07:23.520
it's like there's a season that you're coming out of

856
01:07:23.520 --> 01:07:25.520
and you're entering into a new season

857
01:07:25.520 --> 01:07:27.280
and it's got gold all over it.

858
01:07:27.280 --> 01:07:30.480
And part of it is you really did choose him.

859
01:07:30.480 --> 01:07:34.320
You made the right choices when you really didn't have to.

860
01:07:34.320 --> 01:07:35.520
You've touched the Lord's heart

861
01:07:35.520 --> 01:07:37.480
in more ways than you can imagine.

862
01:07:37.480 --> 01:07:40.640
And I feel like he doesn't owe you a thing,

863
01:07:41.600 --> 01:07:45.320
but it's like you passed some tests

864
01:07:45.320 --> 01:07:50.320
that many people far more anointed probably have failed.

865
01:07:50.560 --> 01:07:52.080
But I just want to tell you,

866
01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:55.000
I feel the Lord's pleasure over your life.

867
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:57.360
And I feel like there's gold coming

868
01:07:57.360 --> 01:07:59.240
into this next season for you.

869
01:07:59.240 --> 01:08:01.600
And you're going to see the release in places

870
01:08:01.600 --> 01:08:04.200
in ways that you never would have imagined.

871
01:08:04.200 --> 01:08:06.080
And I feel like there's an aspect of he's saying,

872
01:08:06.080 --> 01:08:07.880
job well done.

873
01:08:07.880 --> 01:08:09.640
He's very proud of you.

874
01:08:09.640 --> 01:08:13.040
Of course he loves you, but there's a newness.

875
01:08:13.040 --> 01:08:15.280
There's something new getting ready to open in your life

876
01:08:15.280 --> 01:08:18.800
that wouldn't have happened if you'd stayed in Japan.

877
01:08:18.800 --> 01:08:20.399
Yeah, yeah.

878
01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:23.720
Yeah, thank you so much.

879
01:08:23.720 --> 01:08:27.120
This has been so encouraging and enlightening.

880
01:08:27.120 --> 01:08:28.200
Oh boy.

881
01:08:29.880 --> 01:08:32.560
I get a recording of this, right?

882
01:08:32.560 --> 01:08:33.479
Yeah, yeah.

883
01:08:33.479 --> 01:08:37.359
I put it in your page with all of your transformations.

884
01:08:37.359 --> 01:08:38.200
I'll put it there.

885
01:08:38.200 --> 01:08:41.399
I'm having a technical issues right now, uploading things.

886
01:08:41.399 --> 01:08:45.560
So I have the software company helping me with it,

887
01:08:45.560 --> 01:08:48.680
but whenever it works its little kinks out,

888
01:08:48.680 --> 01:08:51.000
yes, that's where it will be, yeah.

889
01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:53.279
Yeah, this has been so spot on,

890
01:08:53.279 --> 01:08:55.439
the whole thing of community.

891
01:08:55.439 --> 01:08:57.439
I don't know if you know of Larry Crabb.

892
01:08:58.600 --> 01:08:59.960
No, I don't.

893
01:08:59.960 --> 01:09:04.439
He was kind of my mentor through his books

894
01:09:04.439 --> 01:09:08.080
and he wrote about community and the church

895
01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:10.640
and it's a whole thing of,

896
01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:12.840
well, I don't find that in the church.

897
01:09:14.479 --> 01:09:17.120
It's really been a longing of my heart.

898
01:09:18.160 --> 01:09:22.240
And even in good churches that preach the word,

899
01:09:23.240 --> 01:09:27.160
I just have not found that community.

900
01:09:28.080 --> 01:09:31.600
And I would say maybe that was the thing with Japan

901
01:09:31.600 --> 01:09:36.600
was we were an international organization.

902
01:09:37.560 --> 01:09:42.560
So, I worked with people from all sorts of countries

903
01:09:44.520 --> 01:09:48.600
and there was strong community,

904
01:09:48.600 --> 01:09:51.439
even though sometimes we didn't get along,

905
01:09:51.439 --> 01:09:56.440
there was still a deep sense of community.

906
01:09:56.440 --> 01:09:58.000
And I think I,

907
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.000
I think I longed for that.

908
01:10:02.000 --> 01:10:05.000
Maybe that was one of the reasons I went to Japan.

909
01:10:05.000 --> 01:10:06.000
I don't know.

910
01:10:06.000 --> 01:10:18.000
But, I mean, I think I also went because of guilt or not feeling I measured up.

911
01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:21.000
And I had, I mean, I believe God called me.

912
01:10:21.000 --> 01:10:28.000
But on the other hand, there were motives that were, you know, not the best.

913
01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:31.000
I had, it's always a mixture of motives, I think.

914
01:10:31.000 --> 01:10:34.000
But I think it's common.

915
01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:35.000
Yeah.

916
01:10:35.000 --> 01:10:39.000
I think there was some reason that they can't make it here.

917
01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:41.000
So I'll try to do it there.

918
01:10:41.000 --> 01:10:43.000
I'll try to please the Lord there.

919
01:10:43.000 --> 01:10:44.000
Yeah.

920
01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:45.000
Yeah.

921
01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:54.000
And, and just the whole thing of, I was partly, I think it was, I was atoning for sin and shame, guilt and shame.

922
01:10:54.000 --> 01:11:07.000
That was a big, a big thing for me, because I, I didn't realize that the blood took care of everything, you know, no condemnation.

923
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:09.000
And that's been a journey.

924
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:26.000
And, I mean, there's all these different motives of why you go but then you're there. You love the people. And that community I mean I had community with the Japanese people to, as well as, you know, fellow missionaries.

925
01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:36.000
And, yeah, that was really, I can imagine in your situation. If God calls you out of there, and like your friend that's in New Zealand.

926
01:11:36.000 --> 01:11:40.000
Yeah, it's, that's really.

927
01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:47.000
Yeah. And I guess that's what God wants for us to is that community.

928
01:11:47.000 --> 01:11:52.000
Yeah, there's a something I learned when I came here. There was.

929
01:11:52.000 --> 01:12:00.000
I went to do a to go to the ministry school, you know, and, and there was one thing I know I didn't want to do.

930
01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:03.000
And there was this thing called special forces.

931
01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:16.000
And I all I knew is that I didn't know anything about this ministry. I knew that God wanted me to go once I ended up going but I when I looked on the website, there was this thing where I saw all these young people, you know, the guys were running around

932
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:23.000
without shirts on they're doing push ups on the beach, they're doing all this kind of stuff and I was like, one thing I know for sure I don't know anything else.

933
01:12:23.000 --> 01:12:39.000
I know I do not want to do that thing, because I am not a young person. I have no desire to do that. I have a, I have a Buddha though I'm not Baptist, you know, I mean Buddha that I'm not a Buddhist, you know, I had a belly and I'm like, I'm not.

934
01:12:39.000 --> 01:12:41.000
I'm not doing that.

935
01:12:41.000 --> 01:12:54.000
And then when I got here, and we had to sign up for electives the next day the Lord woke me up in the morning reminded me some prayer times I instantly started crying, which is a universal sign for men that if you nobody hits you you're not in pain nobody died,

936
01:12:54.000 --> 01:13:05.000
and you start crying spontaneously that's a sign that God's talking to you. Right. And I, I knew immediately that he wanted me to do this thing and there's a picture of me on the wall right over there.

937
01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:23.000
From the time I did it, and you get up, you're doing PTS in the morning twice a week. I cried for days. I argued with God, and you're backpacking and doing all this stuff and it culminates not 72 mile hike in three days, and I'm twice as old as everybody,

938
01:13:23.000 --> 01:13:26.000
blah blah blah blah blah blah.

939
01:13:27.000 --> 01:13:35.000
I used to jokingly call it like fellowship or community on crack, because you suffer.

940
01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:37.000
Right, you suffer together.

941
01:13:37.000 --> 01:13:54.000
You, and there's an accelerated and you're living on top of each other you're sleeping intense, you're, you're, if you're snoring everybody knows, you know, there's, you know, you're not showering for three days so you get to know each other in ways that you normally

942
01:13:54.000 --> 01:14:00.000
wouldn't accelerate it it's kind of like when you go on a mission trip, you get to know people in a way that you normally wouldn't.

943
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:07.000
And one thing that we found is that the other aspects of the school the people would get jealous.

944
01:14:07.000 --> 01:14:21.000
They were like why don't we have that community, we want that community, why don't we have it, we want to have that. And I realized that there was an element of suffering together, you're in the trenches together together every day that that they will bond you

945
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:23.000
together.

946
01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:26.000
Unlike, maybe like what success would.

947
01:14:26.000 --> 01:14:44.000
There's an element of doing life together that bonds you in a way to that place there's a level of that suffering, for lack of a better term that really does do something to you, you know, and

948
01:14:45.000 --> 01:14:59.000
you know you just, you're there's a fellowship that you have together that you can ever kind of take away, you know, and even in corporate life, when we did extreme projects and you're working all the time, you, you kind of just have a common bond

949
01:14:59.000 --> 01:15:00.000
that you would normally never have.

950
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.760
have as a result of it.

951
01:15:02.280 --> 01:15:05.800
And, uh, I think there was a second point, but I may have milled them together.

952
01:15:05.800 --> 01:15:11.240
But the last thing was that, you know, it also reminds me of, they say we have

953
01:15:11.240 --> 01:15:14.920
many teachers, but few fathers, right?

954
01:15:15.480 --> 01:15:20.520
You can't, that's another aspect that the Lord has said that we have lots of

955
01:15:20.520 --> 01:15:24.020
teachers, so you can get up and tell the word you can do all these things, but

956
01:15:24.020 --> 01:15:28.400
you have many teachers, but you have few fathers, you know, mothers and fathers

957
01:15:28.420 --> 01:15:29.720
that don't want anything from you.

958
01:15:30.460 --> 01:15:33.100
They just love you, that you're there to be in the walk with you.

959
01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:38.700
And the other thing, this is my, what's my second one is that I, I'm not going to

960
01:15:38.700 --> 01:15:44.620
name names of the ministry that I was a part of, but they talk a lot about

961
01:15:44.620 --> 01:15:49.680
community and then how important the community is and that God has talked

962
01:15:49.680 --> 01:15:55.460
to them about koinonia, you know, not Ecclesia, I've got koinonia.

963
01:15:55.500 --> 01:15:56.860
They, they talk about it.

964
01:15:57.340 --> 01:15:57.780
Right.

965
01:15:58.200 --> 01:16:02.560
But one time I was walking along and the Lord said, you know, and you can't have

966
01:16:02.600 --> 01:16:05.600
community if you're not willing to be in community.

967
01:16:08.320 --> 01:16:11.840
And so it's one thing for the leadership to talk about the importance of community

968
01:16:12.240 --> 01:16:15.360
and you keep trying to establish and build community, but if you're not

969
01:16:15.360 --> 01:16:19.400
willing yourself to engage in being community, it's never going to happen.

970
01:16:21.120 --> 01:16:21.920
Not going to happen.

971
01:16:22.860 --> 01:16:29.660
So I think that this thing with community in, in you, I think it is, it is massively

972
01:16:29.660 --> 01:16:36.740
important, including the fact that you have that, I believe that you have that

973
01:16:36.740 --> 01:16:44.820
ability to also step in the role of being a father unisex term, father, father person,

974
01:16:45.620 --> 01:16:49.540
you know, and that you've been through enough stuff in life, you know, enough

975
01:16:49.800 --> 01:16:54.440
of really who God is and really about what his love is and really what has been

976
01:16:54.440 --> 01:17:00.440
a tone for, and really has been this place where you can father people, father,

977
01:17:00.440 --> 01:17:05.740
mother, you know, people, which is a massively important thing in establishing

978
01:17:05.740 --> 01:17:08.080
community or as God would call it family.

979
01:17:08.720 --> 01:17:12.080
And what I was hearing was that you're not going to find community.

980
01:17:12.680 --> 01:17:13.920
You're going to create it.

981
01:17:14.520 --> 01:17:17.040
So, and when you create it, you're going to find it.

982
01:17:17.300 --> 01:17:18.660
So, you know, how we want it.

983
01:17:18.660 --> 01:17:22.020
And so we keep wanting it to be an existing thing that we get

984
01:17:22.020 --> 01:17:24.100
to have, that we get to step into.

985
01:17:24.780 --> 01:17:29.300
But what I was hearing is that you're going to create the thing

986
01:17:29.660 --> 01:17:31.140
that you're going to then receive.

987
01:17:31.140 --> 01:17:34.540
You're going to create the thing that, that you then get to step into that

988
01:17:34.540 --> 01:17:41.460
you can then get to find, and that, and that you really have it within you to do

989
01:17:41.480 --> 01:17:41.680
that.

990
01:17:41.680 --> 01:17:48.000
In other words, you are, think of the right phrase, you're a force to be reckoned

991
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:52.720
with, you've got weight, you have significance, you have contribution, you

992
01:17:52.720 --> 01:17:56.960
have something to bring, you have something to offer, you have something

993
01:17:56.960 --> 01:17:59.720
so substantial that it can create.

994
01:18:00.320 --> 01:18:05.080
It can, it can be something that other people can step into.

995
01:18:05.520 --> 01:18:08.360
It can provide what other people are looking for.

996
01:18:09.100 --> 01:18:13.700
And then that'll be a community that you end up finding yourself in because

997
01:18:13.700 --> 01:18:18.140
you are the one who initiated and you don't have to be afraid that, oh, well,

998
01:18:18.140 --> 01:18:21.140
what if, what if I don't have what others want?

999
01:18:21.140 --> 01:18:25.300
What if I don't have what would attract people to a community, but they're

1000
01:18:25.300 --> 01:18:31.180
longing for you actually do you have with their heart is crying out for, but

1001
01:18:31.180 --> 01:18:33.860
someone has to be brave enough to offer.

1002
01:18:34.640 --> 01:18:40.440
Someone has to have the faith that they are who God says that they are and be

1003
01:18:40.440 --> 01:18:45.520
that out loud and actually just, just kind of show up as themselves, not try

1004
01:18:45.520 --> 01:18:49.280
to create something, you know, out of all of this work and all this effort and

1005
01:18:49.280 --> 01:18:53.560
trying to like look at other ideas and how to actually do something, but

1006
01:18:53.560 --> 01:18:58.400
actually someone who's brave enough to be vulnerable, to show up as themselves.

1007
01:18:59.020 --> 01:19:03.340
And then offering themselves to others is what is, what is

1008
01:19:03.340 --> 01:19:05.060
attractive about community.

1009
01:19:05.960 --> 01:19:10.600
It's it's where it's where we get to where we're being offered something of

1010
01:19:10.600 --> 01:19:15.900
someone else and we're being offered the opportunity by them to bring ourselves.

1011
01:19:16.020 --> 01:19:18.800
That's what it actually builds community.

1012
01:19:18.800 --> 01:19:20.700
That's what the attractive thing is.

1013
01:19:20.920 --> 01:19:23.940
So anyway, that's just what I was seeing is that you'll, you'll create

1014
01:19:23.940 --> 01:19:25.940
the thing that you will then find.

1015
01:19:26.700 --> 01:19:28.020
You'll get to benefit from it.

1016
01:19:28.640 --> 01:19:32.460
Stop trying to, you know, so like the Lord told me once stop looking for it and

1017
01:19:32.460 --> 01:19:34.480
become it is what he told me once in my life.

1018
01:19:34.480 --> 01:19:38.660
And I don't want to, I can keep throwing these things in.

1019
01:19:38.660 --> 01:19:40.060
So at some point I'm going to have to stop.

1020
01:19:40.060 --> 01:19:43.700
But the other thing I would add is I have the suspicion.

1021
01:19:44.440 --> 01:19:51.140
I don't know you, I don't know your history, but I, I think maybe if I called

1022
01:19:51.140 --> 01:19:55.100
you a forerunner, you would probably go like, I don't know, right?

1023
01:19:55.100 --> 01:19:59.960
I have a sneaking suspicion that the Lord is going to take you on a trip down memory.

1024
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.920
Lane and show you all the places of where you were a forerunner.

1025
01:20:05.480 --> 01:20:11.000
Like maybe even a person that you were like just a little bit, you know, ahead

1026
01:20:11.000 --> 01:20:15.360
of time that there were things that he was doing and wanting, and you were

1027
01:20:15.360 --> 01:20:17.160
trying to do that didn't seem to work.

1028
01:20:17.160 --> 01:20:18.760
But the timing just wasn't right.

1029
01:20:19.080 --> 01:20:20.040
You were ahead.

1030
01:20:20.040 --> 01:20:26.680
You're as they, people have called me, you are a plowman, you know, and I have

1031
01:20:26.680 --> 01:20:31.760
a feeling that you have a pyre, you have a, a pioneering spirit and that you're

1032
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:39.720
getting ready to enter into a pioneering or a forerunning season, but the timing

1033
01:20:39.720 --> 01:20:44.800
is, is right, and you're reaping a harvest from a lot of things that you've begun

1034
01:20:44.800 --> 01:20:48.280
in your life that you felt like failed and it wasn't failure.

1035
01:20:48.520 --> 01:20:52.800
It just wasn't a, it was a not yet, but I feel like you're, you're entering

1036
01:20:52.800 --> 01:20:56.680
into a time and a season where things are going to start to come.

1037
01:20:56.680 --> 01:20:58.720
And it's like the fertile soil has really.

1038
01:20:59.200 --> 01:21:00.520
It's like fertile soil.

1039
01:21:00.680 --> 01:21:04.160
And I feel like that you're going to be entering into a forerunning season.

1040
01:21:04.680 --> 01:21:05.360
Oh, the Lord.

1041
01:21:05.360 --> 01:21:10.480
And he's going to, you can argue with him, but he's going to show you how all of this

1042
01:21:10.480 --> 01:21:14.160
has been instilled and been a part of your DNA through your whole life.

1043
01:21:14.520 --> 01:21:16.880
It just wasn't not recognized.

1044
01:21:19.600 --> 01:21:21.280
Yeah, I can see that.

1045
01:21:23.240 --> 01:21:28.680
You're willing as a single woman to go to foreign country, Japan, not an easy place

1046
01:21:28.680 --> 01:21:33.320
for anyone, especially a woman, you know, and, um, especially back then.

1047
01:21:33.640 --> 01:21:37.360
And then what it is that I personally known that you've done with your job,

1048
01:21:38.120 --> 01:21:42.760
you know, uh, cause she didn't know anything about it and she was offered

1049
01:21:42.760 --> 01:21:44.480
this job and she took this job.

1050
01:21:44.600 --> 01:21:48.520
And even to the point of, of, of a certain point to a certain point in the

1051
01:21:48.520 --> 01:21:53.720
rest intensive, she was still expressing how she felt, um, how she, how she was

1052
01:21:53.720 --> 01:21:56.480
always kind of fearing her inadequacy to be able to function.

1053
01:21:56.480 --> 01:21:57.200
She's always worried.

1054
01:21:57.360 --> 01:21:58.320
Am I doing it enough?

1055
01:21:58.320 --> 01:21:59.800
Am I looking or something?

1056
01:21:59.840 --> 01:22:01.160
She would be presented with a project.

1057
01:22:01.360 --> 01:22:02.520
Can I learn this fast enough?

1058
01:22:02.520 --> 01:22:06.200
Can I keep up or are they, or are they going to fire me or whatever?

1059
01:22:06.200 --> 01:22:07.640
Am I not going to be adequate?

1060
01:22:08.200 --> 01:22:10.840
And at her age, she took on that kind of a challenge.

1061
01:22:11.080 --> 01:22:12.200
I don't know it.

1062
01:22:12.440 --> 01:22:13.600
I've got to perform this job.

1063
01:22:13.600 --> 01:22:14.680
And she continued at it.

1064
01:22:14.680 --> 01:22:19.680
And it's to the point where I have not heard her talk about her questioning her,

1065
01:22:19.680 --> 01:22:24.640
her adequacy for the past several weeks, because I believe that she's built that

1066
01:22:24.640 --> 01:22:28.240
confidence because she's seen how the Lord moves in her and the fact that no,

1067
01:22:28.240 --> 01:22:30.040
the Lord equips her and the Lord empowers her.

1068
01:22:30.040 --> 01:22:36.440
So you, you, you are, my point is just to affirm what he was saying that I've even

1069
01:22:36.440 --> 01:22:40.960
seen, you know, in my short time of knowing you, that you push forward in that

1070
01:22:40.960 --> 01:22:46.040
pioneering spirit, that you're willing to put yourself in places that, that just,

1071
01:22:46.200 --> 01:22:48.440
that intimidate and frighten other people.

1072
01:22:49.280 --> 01:22:49.720
Yeah.

1073
01:22:49.760 --> 01:22:51.760
And I would, another word is replication.

1074
01:22:52.280 --> 01:22:56.280
I see there's a replication that there's Lord, there's like blueprints and stuff

1075
01:22:56.280 --> 01:22:59.480
that you have, but God's going to give you where there's going to be replicate.

1076
01:22:59.520 --> 01:23:03.600
You can say it's loaves and fishes, but that he wants to replicate things.

1077
01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:07.720
You know, he wants things to, to be multiplied and that there's something

1078
01:23:07.760 --> 01:23:11.720
that you carry something he's going to release to you and through you that he

1079
01:23:11.720 --> 01:23:16.400
wants to populate the earth with go forth and fruit be fruitful and multiply.

1080
01:23:16.880 --> 01:23:20.360
And I feel like there's a multiplication that's going to come, but it's going to

1081
01:23:20.360 --> 01:23:22.920
come out of this place and it's going to come out of the deep place of

1082
01:23:22.920 --> 01:23:24.240
intimacy with you and the Lord.

1083
01:23:25.800 --> 01:23:30.080
I might, I need to be quiet or I'll just keep right on just blabbity blab.

1084
01:23:30.120 --> 01:23:31.400
So I'm going to pray for you.

1085
01:23:31.680 --> 01:23:32.200
Okay.

1086
01:23:32.960 --> 01:23:35.680
So father, I, I just lift Chris to you.

1087
01:23:36.680 --> 01:23:42.640
Lord, I lift this beautiful life, my beautiful sister to you for all that

1088
01:23:42.640 --> 01:23:48.880
she's done, the pioneering, the, the going to far off places, to the adapting

1089
01:23:48.880 --> 01:23:52.960
and the fact the Lord to honor the choices that she's made to continue to

1090
01:23:52.960 --> 01:23:58.320
choose you, um, when she could have been swept away by so many other things.

1091
01:23:59.120 --> 01:24:03.440
Lord, I pray today that if there's anything that we've said that wasn't from

1092
01:24:03.560 --> 01:24:10.600
you, that it was out of, uh, sympathy or it was out of a soulish compassion or,

1093
01:24:10.920 --> 01:24:15.560
or mercy Lord, that you would just cut those things free from her that

1094
01:24:15.560 --> 01:24:16.760
she wouldn't even remember.

1095
01:24:17.360 --> 01:24:20.360
But anything that we've said, Lord, that was from you, that you would

1096
01:24:20.360 --> 01:24:24.120
witness to it, that you would confirm it, that you would uphold it.

1097
01:24:24.600 --> 01:24:29.840
Lord, I pray today that you would heal, um, so that she can move into a place

1098
01:24:29.840 --> 01:24:35.080
of holy and fully, uh, into this next season without reservation.

1099
01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:41.120
I asked Lord that you would heal any of the, well, the sheep bites that

1100
01:24:41.120 --> 01:24:42.520
she's received along the way.

1101
01:24:43.040 --> 01:24:44.560
The Lord, any of the betrayal.

1102
01:24:45.440 --> 01:24:49.680
Lord, I see that she's been stabbed in the back by people above her and below

1103
01:24:49.680 --> 01:24:52.840
her on the left and the right and the back of her, that means that these

1104
01:24:52.840 --> 01:24:54.080
were people that were close to her.

1105
01:24:54.720 --> 01:24:57.160
Lord, I pray that you would bring healing to her Lord.

1106
01:24:57.160 --> 01:25:00.040
I pray God that all of the rejection that she.

1107
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.880
experienced, Lord, that could really make her heart callous to wanting to really be vulnerable

1108
01:25:06.880 --> 01:25:11.280
and step out into a place of community and really make herself vulnerable in that place.

1109
01:25:11.280 --> 01:25:17.360
I pray, Lord, also that you would revisit her, that there would be, I pray for the encounters

1110
01:25:17.360 --> 01:25:21.440
over her life. I pray that there'd be great anticipation every night that she'd go to bed,

1111
01:25:21.440 --> 01:25:27.360
Lord, that she can encounter an experience and that you will take her, I believe, almost even

1112
01:25:27.360 --> 01:25:33.600
physically, like whether in the flesh or in the spirit, I do not know, Lord, that those experiences

1113
01:25:33.600 --> 01:25:39.360
to be with her, that you would take her to places well in advance, that, Lord, that you would show

1114
01:25:39.360 --> 01:25:44.880
her things that she's never experienced or known or even imagined were possible, Lord, that your

1115
01:25:44.880 --> 01:25:52.640
love to come and encounter her in a way that is so captivating, so, you know, transcendental, Lord,

1116
01:25:52.640 --> 01:25:59.040
that it would be so almost like shaking, Lord, that there is no going back. It's like they say

1117
01:25:59.040 --> 01:26:04.480
that there's first degree changes turning apples into sliced apples and then there's the place of

1118
01:26:04.480 --> 01:26:10.320
turning apples into applesauce. There's no going back, that there be experiences in you, Lord, that

1119
01:26:10.320 --> 01:26:16.720
there is no going back to an old way of being, that you would help her, Lord, to move boldly

1120
01:26:16.720 --> 01:26:21.920
into this new season. I pray, Lord, for the heart of God to infuse everything that she does, Lord,

1121
01:26:21.920 --> 01:26:28.160
that there be revelation, sure, that there be unparalleled revelation, but, Lord, you would

1122
01:26:28.160 --> 01:26:32.800
infuse, that you would engorge the things that she's putting her hands to, Lord, that you would

1123
01:26:32.800 --> 01:26:41.280
witness, that just like the Israelites, that all the nations knew, that whether a cloud by day and

1124
01:26:41.280 --> 01:26:46.960
a pillar fire by night, Lord, by the way that you warred on their behalf, that everybody knew one

1125
01:26:46.960 --> 01:26:53.440
thing, that the Lord, your God, their God, was with them, that, Lord, that there be a place where

1126
01:26:53.440 --> 01:26:59.760
people see the favor of God upon her and they're drawn to her to find out what this thing is, that

1127
01:26:59.760 --> 01:27:05.600
there be more opportunities, Lord, for her to be able to engage people in a personal relational way

1128
01:27:05.600 --> 01:27:11.440
and that the love of God to get on them, in them, and create a hunger for them, and I pray, God,

1129
01:27:11.440 --> 01:27:19.120
that you revisit this place for her, that the fiery first love place to be restored to her, God,

1130
01:27:19.120 --> 01:27:23.920
and that, Lord, she would be more on fire today than she has ever been in her entire life,

1131
01:27:23.920 --> 01:27:30.400
and then she would say, Lord, why in the world did you not do this to me when I was 20 or 30 years old?

1132
01:27:30.400 --> 01:27:34.960
And he's like, because you would have run and set the place on fire, that, Lord, that there be a

1133
01:27:34.960 --> 01:27:42.560
place today that she be lifted before you, even by faith, your throne, and that your mysteries that

1134
01:27:42.560 --> 01:27:48.160
have been hidden through all these times, that have been waiting to be unlocked, to be revealed to her,

1135
01:27:48.160 --> 01:27:55.120
for her, and through her, Lord, and I pray that you would bring great healing into her life, Lord,

1136
01:27:55.120 --> 01:28:00.000
that you would sever the things that are not life-giving from her and that you would make room

1137
01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:05.360
for all that you want to bring into her life. We bless you, Lord, and we bless her in Jesus' holy name.

1138
01:28:06.640 --> 01:28:15.040
Amen. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you. Yeah, I can't say thank you enough.

1139
01:28:16.720 --> 01:28:23.200
Most welcome. It's our pleasure. Yeah, so glad you're part of the group. Me too.

1140
01:28:23.920 --> 01:28:28.720
Well, I will see you tomorrow then. That's right, yeah. I look forward to any reports.

1141
01:28:29.280 --> 01:28:34.400
Yeah, that hopefully there's fruit from all this stuff, and that I don't like flowery language. I

1142
01:28:34.400 --> 01:28:43.040
want fruit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he is very good at the flowery language, but he's always after the

1143
01:28:43.040 --> 01:28:49.360
fruit, but he's good at giving the flowery language. Yeah. All right. Well, good to see you, Chris. I

1144
01:28:49.360 --> 01:28:54.080
hope that everything goes really well in preparing your course. Yeah, thank you.

1145
01:28:54.080 --> 01:28:59.440
Bye. God bless you. Love you. Bye. God bless you. Bye.