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Okay.

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Hey Ashley.

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Hey.

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Hey, there you are.

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How are y'all.

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Good just got back from dancing some just making myself some tea. Nice. What are you having tonight.

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Well I have I'm having a good night tea. It's okay.

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Yeah. Oh, is it like p u k a p u k k a. Oh yes okay yeah we do have that it's a brand isn't it. Whoops. Yeah. Okay, yeah we do have that I haven't tried their nighttime is it good.

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Yeah, it's really good. It's like chamomile and it's just soothing.

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It's super rainy here today like super fall windy rain, and then go dance like Cuban salsa and you feel like you're in the Caribbean and then it's like, you're not.

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That's right. That's so much fun. So, I don't know if you if you know this my husband is half Cuban. So his.

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So, and he used to be a really good dancer he hasn't danced in a while but he was asked one time to be a dance instructor.

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I'm really hoping I can get it.

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Oh my gosh, it's so so it's like it's the, it's the street style dance that you dance.

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Oh, that's so much fun.

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Well I'm having stinging nettle tea. Are y'all familiar with stinging nettle tea. It's a, it's herbal and so, and it lowers your.

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It reduces your internal inflammation and so I have a friend of mine recommended it to me when I was having so much trouble with my skin. And one of the benefits of it is the fact that and that's why I'm drinking it right now is it's herbal.

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I don't have the caffeine. But anyway, so Priscilla I know that you have to speak in tea that you have to leave pretty soon for a tea party for Gwen, how fun that you're doing it for.

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I'm assuming it was your daughter, not someone else. Yeah.

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So I was at Gwen's birthday party I think two or was it three years ago. It was during COVID that's three years ago.

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Three. Yeah.

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Was it when were you here last year, you weren't here last year, were you. No, no, I was married last year and so I haven't traveled.

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So anyway, so I know that you have to go soon so I thought we'd start with you.

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So that you were able to, you know, just kind of like process through anything that you needed to.

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So before we get started and I start asking like some of my questions, do you have anything you wanted to update us about about how this, how it's been since we last connected on Thursday like how the weekend when or, you know, times with the Lord or journaling or breakthroughs or anything.

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Um, yeah, I feel like I feel like I have not been a model student when it comes to, I, but at the same time, I do make it practice of journaling like career journey.

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So I feel like maybe I'm doing it anyway just maybe not in the book.

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So I do process things with the Lord through writing them down.

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That's great. And yeah, there's been several things. One of them was the other night. When was that Friday night or Saturday night I forget I was thinking I was feeling, but

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just

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sleep.

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Anyway, and it was nighttime, and I can't remember which one of my kids needed me I don't remember if it was when or Monty.

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I remember being kind of like surprised at the fact that I didn't feel like overwhelmed with that. I felt like in it I felt like instead of looking at it as like okay I either.

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I either.

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Yes, I do. Yeah.

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Anyway, she, I remember not feeling like I had to choose between God, or my child but being like no like God is with me in this moment it's not like choosing to spend time with God versus choosing to spend time with my child, but instead like I'm living out of

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And he made me to be and part of that is meeting the kids needs at night, and so it wasn't enough, and or it was a win.

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So, you know what, I'm only going to be here for 20 minutes that's not very long at all.

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No.

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Sorry.

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Sorry, a lot of life is boring.

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So that was good. I feel like I started my period today so that's always unique.

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With like anxiety levels rising.

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So, yeah, in a way, like I was just thinking about this yesterday, I, I feel almost like I didn't work growing.

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I'm almost recognizing more places of breakthrough in my life that I have had, instead of feeling like I'm having breakthrough right now.

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Yeah. So, one of the things right now is not a good time to interrupt me, I may sit here and listen.

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It's another state.

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Yeah.

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So, but then last night, and I know we probably don't have like a lot of time to process all of this but I'm part of this group on Facebook, it's called every woman theologian it's just a place where a lot of to talk about.

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Yeah. And anyway, so this one lady hosted last night.

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Maybe it was yesterday I should just pull it up so that I can read it to you but basically she was struggling with not wanting to read the word, and especially as a woman.

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So she said I'm in need of some wisdom and encouragement or even just an understanding here my boyfriend is an extremely godly person loves scripture and talking about God.

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As for the sugar.

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I love God as well but really struggle to engage with his word as it hurts my feelings, particularly as a woman and I wrestled with feelings of shame before backing off a bit for my mental health sake.

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I know sometimes we have to choose to love things that we know are important but is it so bad to genuinely want to love the Word of God.

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All fake positive feelings just my boyfriend's sake and he doesn't want me to but it's slowly creating a wedge between us as we struggle to understand the other's perspective, I want what he has but it seems unattainable.

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No, I can't really love God without reading and delighting in scripture so I'm starting fresh no need to give me that advice just curious if anyone else has been through this.

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So I promise this is related to breakthrough I'm not just on the internet to you but there was this particular comment that just rubbed me so wrong.

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And she said, if you want to love the scripture you have to be willing to put God's truth over your feelings if God's Word makes you uncomfortable or upset that means you're wrong and you need to adjust your thinking to match God's Word which okay like I agree but so many ways to say it better.

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We all go through this process is a matter of growth and maturity it's often uncomfortable but if you refuse to let God's Word can it can change you, you will be unable to love the scriptures, as you should.

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So, and I was so mad right away when I read that comment and I was like, Oh, like if I would be hurting like this person that comment would be like, Oh, that's another reason why I don't want to love God.

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So instead of heatedly responding to that comment which I started to do and then stop.

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And I said, I can relate to a lot of this, I recently heard a podcast about women teaching theology, which we probably all heard about that made me so angry, my husband asked me innocently if I heard it yet and I immediately bristled.

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He insisted we talk about it and I angrily talk my way through that conversation which ended with me sobbing in my husband's lap that I'm scared God hates women.

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And I feel that the Lord has revealed to me in so many ways how the culture and the enemy has hated women but he has shown them so much favor and given them so much protection and honor.

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Knowing how women were looked at in the days Jesus walked the earth and seeing how he engaged with them as human beings image bearers and a functioning part of the body is so comforting to my heart.

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I also grew up with a lot of fundamentalist teaching that would have taught that a woman stays with her husband no matter what abuse unfaithfulness you name it for a long time, I'd also get so furious anytime I even sense that someone had an unjust marriage.

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I feel that at the root of that was the underlying belief that God doesn't love women and he doesn't protect the vulnerable, he has also helped me understand that all throughout scripture there is proof of him protecting the vulnerable and abused and instructing

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others to do the same. God not only loves women he made us in his image we are a vital piece of his creation and he loves us, and then with the love that cannot quite be fathomed.

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I would begin by praying and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to you which beliefs you've had about him that are not true. Just a second to me, and then seek counsel to understand those passages of scripture that hurt.

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I know it's not helpful when people say that you have to just swallow your bad feelings and repent and believe it or not, God actually wants to walk you through a process of true healing and restoration, not just following your feelings

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him to build a new faith that has gone into the depths of those questions and found him faithful.

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I think that takes more trust and faith and trust just trying to push through.

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Anyway, so, as I was writing.

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As I was writing that message, I was like, okay, yes, like this is, I, I, I was almost

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afraid of how confident I felt writing it, but then afterwards, I feel like I kind of

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started to take a nosedive of like, oh my word, like, what if I'm just one of those

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new age people that doesn't like, believe in the truth of scripture and like, that is

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our foundation.

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And, and I wrote in my journal today that I'm actually scared of how not scared I am.

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Like, I am scared that I'm, that I'm not being hard enough on myself anymore.

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But at the same time, I feel like my spirit knows that that's right.

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But my soul is like, well, what's going to protect me from being deceived if I'm not

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constantly being mean to myself?

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Correct.

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I mean, when I wait, you'll put them in a bowl from your tea party, can you do that?

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I remember those days of being a child.

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It's just like, oh my gosh, like, just waiting for Santa Claus or something.

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I know.

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Goodness.

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Anyway, sorry.

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So that's kind of where I feel like I'm in this place of like, feeling so excited with

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where my relationship is with the Lord.

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But I'm also like, kind of scared that I've created this, like, while we're on the topic

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of Santa Claus, like a Santa Claus of a God, like that I've just made him into what I want

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him to be.

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But he's not really that.

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So that's where I'm at.

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Yeah.

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Well, good.

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Well, thanks for, thanks for explaining all of that.

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It's very helpful.

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And, and yeah, it makes sense that you'd be afraid of not being afraid because the way

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that you were raised, and I don't mean to say anything about your parents.

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I'm talking about the church that you went to and the community that you were surrounded

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with.

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In other words, it was like this bubble of, well, this is what everybody believes.

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So therefore it must be true because there's a plethora, in other words, or there's a,

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there's a volume of consensus.

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And so we took that as, oh, this must be right.

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And all of that volume was a mutual agreement that fear was your protection and that you

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have to be afraid in order to be vigilant enough to defend yourself against Satan, because

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Satan is more powerful than God.

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His ability, remember what I was, why, you know, I yelled over to Ed at the last time

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that we all met together and I was like, Hey, what was that thing that someone told you

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one time?

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And he said that someone told him, you know, and this is when he was an adult.

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I think he was in his thirties, at least if not forties.

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And he was saying something.

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And then a friend of his that I've met, she's an older lady who's also ministered to me.

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She said, Ed, it sounds like you are more afraid as Satan's ability, or you believe

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more in Satan's ability to deceive you than God's ability to protect you and love you,

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guard you, preserve you.

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And what we've been taught is that Satan is out to get us.

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He's bigger and badder and more powerful than we are leaving us in a very vulnerable position.

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And God's like, Hey, I've given you everything that you need to defend yourself because I

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won't.

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And it's just not true.

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When we've given ourselves to him, we're actually in him.

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And then we're more, we're in that position of more power and authority than Satan, because

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we're in Christ and all authority and power has been given to him and everything's been

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put under his feet, including Satan.

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So it makes complete sense how we've grown up that we would think.

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And I say that because I'm in that same category of fear was my protection.

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In fact, I don't know if you remember my sister Audra mentioning this and one of her testimonies

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that she said that she used to watch scary demonic things, like, I don't know, I don't

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know, you know, like popular television shows.

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And I won't mention them in case either of y'all watch it, but I mean, you know, just

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popular television shows that were, that have a lot of like horror elements in them, demonic

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supernatural elements in them, et cetera.

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And she said that she would do those as watch those as well as read stories about them because

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she felt that that was how she was supposed to protect herself, that she didn't know the

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bad things, then she wouldn't be able to protect herself against them as opposed to choosing

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that.

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No, if I'm in the Lord and then I'll know the counterfeit.

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If I know the truth so well, then I will recognize what isn't the truth, what's not matching

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it, which again, falls in the same line of what we're talking about.

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So what you're saying makes complete sense.

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But, you know, therefore, okay, well that makes complete sense, but you know, then what

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do we do?

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And the thing is that we just have to choose, yeah, but why is it that I have, or realize

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why is it that I've chosen this path?

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I've chosen it because I made not, not to sound confusing, but because I made a different

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choice.

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I chose that God actually was.

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saying something different than I thought he'd been saying my whole life.

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I thought that he was saying that he was wrathful, that he was mean, that he

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wasn't going to protect me, that I was less than because I was a woman, that

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women were so very different from men, meaning like we were different in value.

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There was, it wasn't just that we had different roles and different functions

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and that we felt different and we interacted with the world different.

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And we saw things differently.

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It's that at our very core of our being, we were so different that God had to make

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a choice between us and men and he didn't.

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And so, but it's, but so it's really hard when we have, we have based our

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security and those old beliefs and now we've changed our beliefs.

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So there went our security.

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And so what we have to put, we have to shift is our choice to be secure in the

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new thing that we believe that God is saying and it's faith and it's risky.

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And so therefore it's scary and it feels, and because it's so unfamiliar to us,

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it's not firm foundation yet.

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It still feels like it, it's kind of like pouring concrete and

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you're waiting for it to settle.

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But until it settles, it's a bit jiggly.

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And so you pour the concrete for the normal foundation.

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So you just have to continue to have faith in it, waiting for it to solidify.

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But you chose you, but then it requires consistency on our part of like, and

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almost, and it's the same thing where the Lord says, don't be double-minded.

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He's like, no, make a decision and then choose it as opposed

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to being able to be swayed back.

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And then it's like, it depends on who you're talking to or what situation

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you're in as to what it is that we're going to believe.

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And so that's why it has all those scripture verses is because what you're

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talking about is the normal experience of having to have faith in something.

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Meaning that you're going to have to shift what it is you choose is real.

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And you've got a reason why you believed all of this other, that

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you had a lot of affirmation.

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You're having to build affirmation here.

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You're having to see the evidence over time.

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And until then, you've got a lot more evidence on this side than on this one.

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So this one is just still so much more faith.

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So if you remember how faith works, faith is we choose it without believing it.

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You know, in other words, our feelings don't match up.

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Our logic doesn't match up.

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We don't see evidence of it.

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But when we choose something in faith that it's real, that is what

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eventually creates the evidence.

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We've been used to God treating us like children, which is what he does

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when he's teaching us about faith.

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He'll give us lots of evidence so that we'll build our trust in him.

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00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:42.840
Like, okay, well, I see lots of it, so it must be true, but he's just kind

202
00:17:42.840 --> 00:17:46.880
of like teaching us and guiding us on how to have, you know, about how to trust him.

203
00:17:47.360 --> 00:17:50.720
But he's like, yeah, but that's not faith because you had the evidence first.

204
00:17:51.080 --> 00:17:52.920
You were convinced by the evidence.

205
00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:54.560
I want you to make it instead.

206
00:17:54.560 --> 00:17:58.920
Faith is, I want you to make a choice because I said, and then when you do

207
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that, I'll begin to show up in your life like that, because our faith is basically

208
00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:05.640
us allowing God to show up like that.

209
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He says he'd like something, but unless we agree that he is that, he won't show

210
00:18:10.560 --> 00:18:13.080
up like that in our life or we won't see it.

211
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So us giving him, us having faith and choosing, okay, God, I'm choosing that.

212
00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:21.560
If you say that that's true about yourself, it really is true.

213
00:18:21.960 --> 00:18:25.560
That's giving him basically authority into our life, into our world, into

214
00:18:25.560 --> 00:18:28.760
our family by opening the gate and saying, okay, God, I'll let you be

215
00:18:28.760 --> 00:18:31.360
that in my world, in my kingdom.

216
00:18:31.640 --> 00:18:34.400
And then he starts acting like that.

217
00:18:34.400 --> 00:18:36.720
And then all of a sudden we see all kinds of evidence, but

218
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:38.360
we had to open the gate first.

219
00:18:38.560 --> 00:18:40.600
So that's the process that you're in.

220
00:18:40.920 --> 00:18:46.720
And so it's, it's as hard as you're feeling that it is because that's what faith is.

221
00:18:46.760 --> 00:18:47.680
It's that risky.

222
00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:49.080
It's risking our whole self.

223
00:18:49.120 --> 00:18:50.440
It's risking our emotions.

224
00:18:50.440 --> 00:18:54.320
It's risking, you know, our relationships with other people because they all

225
00:18:54.320 --> 00:18:59.280
believe we're going astray, you know, or whatever, but in it's shifting our,

226
00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:04.920
our foundation of our faith from not only our history, our traditions, people we

227
00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:09.520
used to listen to and how well that they believe in and believe in and agree with

228
00:19:09.520 --> 00:19:16.120
it, um, verse it, um, and, or, and then also from, um, one of the things I was

229
00:19:16.760 --> 00:19:20.040
about the evidence that we look for, but anyway, we're shifting it from all of

230
00:19:20.040 --> 00:19:22.440
that to, yeah, but what has God said?

231
00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:27.600
Oh, that was what it was, what we have have labeled as Christianity.

232
00:19:28.280 --> 00:19:34.440
We have to, we have to remove our, we have to remove that as our state

233
00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:36.440
from being our standard anymore.

234
00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:40.000
Cause we're so used to, well, these things fit within what I've always

235
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:41.640
understood Christianity to be.

236
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.200
And so if it fits in there, well, then it's okay.

237
00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.280
And if it doesn't fit in there, then it's not okay.

238
00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:51.440
And instead we have to shift our standard to know what has God, what has God said?

239
00:19:51.440 --> 00:19:55.280
So it's almost like, that's why I said, okay, this sounds really scary, but just

240
00:19:55.280 --> 00:20:00.000
kind of like, bear with me a minute, you know, abandon Christianity and she's gone.

241
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.520
We're not really abandoning Christianity, but the thing is that Christianity, true Christianity

242
00:20:04.520 --> 00:20:10.280
comes out of who God is, not what we built up and put in that label.

243
00:20:10.280 --> 00:20:17.320
So anyway, so it feels as scary as it is, but just know that it's just continually making

244
00:20:17.320 --> 00:20:25.080
the choice because it feels, because your old feelings and your old foundation is so,

245
00:20:25.080 --> 00:20:26.080
is still there.

246
00:20:26.080 --> 00:20:28.520
So a tendency to rely on that.

247
00:20:28.520 --> 00:20:29.840
And that's why you feel afraid.

248
00:20:29.840 --> 00:20:32.600
So you just know, okay, well, I feel afraid.

249
00:20:32.600 --> 00:20:33.600
There's a reason for that.

250
00:20:33.600 --> 00:20:34.600
So what do I do?

251
00:20:34.600 --> 00:20:36.920
I've made a different choice now.

252
00:20:36.920 --> 00:20:39.560
So am I going to continue to make that choice?

253
00:20:39.560 --> 00:20:42.480
Or am I so afraid that I'm like, you know what?

254
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:44.560
It's not worth the risk.

255
00:20:44.560 --> 00:20:48.400
And therefore I'm going to, I'm going to go back to the old choice.

256
00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:51.000
So anyway, any, any thoughts?

257
00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:55.040
I know we're getting close to when you have to go, but yeah, yeah, no, I, I know.

258
00:20:55.040 --> 00:21:04.120
I feel like, how would you say, like, I remember, you know, I feel kind of like at the same

259
00:21:04.120 --> 00:21:08.880
place I was like, okay, tell her I'll be right now.

260
00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:09.880
Okay.

261
00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:10.880
Is her mom with her?

262
00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:13.880
Or is it just her?

263
00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:14.880
Okay.

264
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:20.240
Um, I remember when I realized that I was letting go of Montana and like, I can, it's

265
00:21:20.240 --> 00:21:24.240
almost like I could see it going and I was like, there was nothing I could do to stop

266
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:25.240
it.

267
00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:28.000
And yet I was like, Oh, you know, I've been really ready.

268
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:30.600
And that's kind of how I feel in this situation too.

269
00:21:30.600 --> 00:21:35.280
Like, I feel like I feel my old life and the old way I used to process things slipping

270
00:21:35.280 --> 00:21:41.800
away and I, and there's really nothing I can do to stop it anymore, but I'm glad.

271
00:21:41.800 --> 00:21:44.520
And at the same time, I'm like, I might need that.

272
00:21:44.520 --> 00:21:50.360
I know it is like, cause who am I, if I don't believe like that, because how I act and who

273
00:21:50.360 --> 00:21:57.000
everybody knows me to be and how I can come to depend on myself is determined by me believing

274
00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:58.000
that.

275
00:21:58.000 --> 00:22:01.520
So if me believing that is no longer there, who am I?

276
00:22:01.520 --> 00:22:02.520
What am I going to act like?

277
00:22:02.520 --> 00:22:04.240
How are people going to respond to me?

278
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:06.600
What is it that I truly am like, what do I believe?

279
00:22:06.600 --> 00:22:09.720
You know, do I actually like the things that I thought that I liked?

280
00:22:09.720 --> 00:22:10.720
Yeah.

281
00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:13.720
And yeah, it's, it's the very foundation is being shaken.

282
00:22:13.720 --> 00:22:16.600
And then so the fear of the unknown is just looming.

283
00:22:16.600 --> 00:22:17.600
Yeah.

284
00:22:17.600 --> 00:22:18.600
Yeah.

285
00:22:18.600 --> 00:22:19.600
That makes sense.

286
00:22:19.840 --> 00:22:22.840
I feel like I, I, I feel like I'm at a good place.

287
00:22:22.840 --> 00:22:23.840
Hey, Laurel.

288
00:22:23.840 --> 00:22:24.840
Oh, thank you.

289
00:22:24.840 --> 00:22:25.840
It's a little note.

290
00:22:25.840 --> 00:22:26.840
There we go.

291
00:22:26.840 --> 00:22:27.840
Okay.

292
00:22:27.840 --> 00:22:28.840
Yeah.

293
00:22:28.840 --> 00:22:36.840
I should probably go, but maybe I'll put more in the WhatsApp group later.

294
00:22:36.840 --> 00:22:37.840
Yeah.

295
00:22:37.840 --> 00:22:38.840
Please do.

296
00:22:38.840 --> 00:22:41.840
And then I'll keep talking and then the recording will be up tonight.

297
00:22:41.840 --> 00:22:42.840
Oh, great.

298
00:22:42.840 --> 00:22:43.840
Okay.

299
00:22:43.840 --> 00:22:44.840
All right.

300
00:22:44.840 --> 00:22:45.840
Okay.

301
00:22:45.840 --> 00:22:46.840
See you guys.

302
00:22:46.840 --> 00:22:47.840
Thank you for sharing.

303
00:22:47.840 --> 00:22:48.840
Have fun at the tea party.

304
00:22:49.080 --> 00:22:50.080
Have fun at the Ashley.

305
00:22:50.080 --> 00:22:51.080
Yeah.

306
00:22:51.080 --> 00:22:52.080
Happy birthday.

307
00:22:52.080 --> 00:22:53.080
Happy birthday, Gwen.

308
00:22:53.080 --> 00:22:54.080
So cute.

309
00:22:54.080 --> 00:22:55.080
I know.

310
00:22:55.080 --> 00:22:56.080
She's awful.

311
00:22:56.080 --> 00:22:57.080
So how are you?

312
00:22:57.080 --> 00:22:58.080
It's been, it's been a whirlwind.

313
00:22:58.080 --> 00:22:59.080
I feel like while we're whirlwind whirlwind.

314
00:22:59.080 --> 00:23:00.080
Yeah.

315
00:23:00.080 --> 00:23:01.080
I'm like, oh, that sounds excellent to be like, where you're kind of like sitting.

316
00:23:01.080 --> 00:23:02.080
Yeah.

317
00:23:02.080 --> 00:23:03.080
Yeah.

318
00:23:03.080 --> 00:23:04.080
Yeah.

319
00:23:04.080 --> 00:23:05.080
Yeah.

320
00:23:05.080 --> 00:23:06.080
Yeah.

321
00:23:06.080 --> 00:23:07.080
Yeah.

322
00:23:07.080 --> 00:23:08.080
Yeah.

323
00:23:08.080 --> 00:23:09.080
Yeah.

324
00:23:09.080 --> 00:23:10.080
Yeah.

325
00:23:10.080 --> 00:23:11.080
Yeah.

326
00:23:11.080 --> 00:23:12.080
Yeah.

327
00:23:12.080 --> 00:23:13.080
Yeah.

328
00:23:13.080 --> 00:23:14.080
Yeah.

329
00:23:14.080 --> 00:23:15.080
Yeah.

330
00:23:15.080 --> 00:23:16.080
Yeah.

331
00:23:16.080 --> 00:23:17.080
Yeah.

332
00:23:17.080 --> 00:23:18.080
Yeah.

333
00:23:18.080 --> 00:23:19.080
Yeah.

334
00:23:19.080 --> 00:23:20.080
Yeah.

335
00:23:20.080 --> 00:23:21.080
Yeah.

336
00:23:21.080 --> 00:23:22.080
Yeah.

337
00:23:22.080 --> 00:23:23.080
So, um, you're kind of like slipping away.

338
00:23:23.080 --> 00:23:27.080
Um, it's been an eventful, uh, we met on Thursday.

339
00:23:27.080 --> 00:23:28.080
Yeah.

340
00:23:28.080 --> 00:23:29.080
And then, um,

341
00:23:29.080 --> 00:23:31.080
First at night for you,

342
00:23:31.080 --> 00:23:35.080
Friday was, yeah, that was like, um, Russia Shawna.

343
00:23:35.080 --> 00:23:40.080
So I had like a Russia Shawna party with, uh, with, uh, one of my friends.

344
00:23:40.080 --> 00:23:44.080
So we normally just like celebrate and we do all these things just like prophetic acts.

345
00:23:44.080 --> 00:23:46.080
And, you know, like, Oh,

346
00:23:46.080 --> 00:23:49.080
I feel like we're, you know, supposed to do something with open doors.

347
00:23:49.080 --> 00:23:52.080
And so it was a, and we're like, we have no idea what we're supposed to do.

348
00:23:52.080 --> 00:23:56.080
And then it was just fun because she had like all these doors in her apartment.

349
00:23:56.080 --> 00:24:00.080
And then both of us was like, I'm like,

350
00:24:00.080 --> 00:24:02.080
I feel like I need to like open doors for you.

351
00:24:02.080 --> 00:24:03.080
Like,

352
00:24:03.080 --> 00:24:05.080
cause I feel like the next season God is going to be opening doors.

353
00:24:05.080 --> 00:24:08.080
And, uh,

354
00:24:08.080 --> 00:24:11.080
we were both thinking about the same doors for each other without saying,

355
00:24:11.080 --> 00:24:14.080
so we're like, okay, well this must be God, but yeah.

356
00:24:14.080 --> 00:24:18.080
So it was a really, I feel like it's been, um,

357
00:24:18.080 --> 00:24:21.080
I feel like I'm probably where I,

358
00:24:21.080 --> 00:24:26.080
where I've usually been and like how I process things, which is, uh,

359
00:24:26.080 --> 00:24:30.080
it was funny cause as I was walking up to her place on Sunday,

360
00:24:30.080 --> 00:24:33.080
that's when I listened to the teaching and then it's like,

361
00:24:33.080 --> 00:24:37.080
go away from everything that you've ever like, you know,

362
00:24:37.080 --> 00:24:41.080
how you're usually doing things or, you know, the religion and like,

363
00:24:41.080 --> 00:24:44.080
and I'm like, oh man, am I going to do this?

364
00:24:44.080 --> 00:24:46.080
Um,

365
00:24:46.080 --> 00:24:52.080
it's just walking away from relying on that to determine things about what we

366
00:24:52.080 --> 00:24:53.080
believe about God,

367
00:24:53.080 --> 00:24:58.080
simply because some of those things might be in the way of and keeping us

368
00:24:58.080 --> 00:24:59.080
where we are instead of getting the breakthrough.

369
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.000
doesn't mean they're bad. A friend of mine describes it as

370
00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:05.480
hey, everyone, we're going to I'm going to take all these

371
00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:08.240
things out of your basket. But it doesn't mean they're all

372
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:12.880
going to go away. We're going to put some of them back. Just at

373
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:14.360
the beginning. Let's take them all out.

374
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:20.040
Yeah. So I was like, Oh, that's interesting. But yeah, it was.

375
00:25:20.880 --> 00:25:26.240
So it was really, it was like a good Friday. We were because

376
00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:28.520
then I hadn't listened to the teaching yet and stuff like

377
00:25:28.520 --> 00:25:33.440
that. But it was a good Friday. We were following David Hertzog,

378
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:35.920
I guess his name is from Arizona. They were doing

379
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:39.640
something. Um, so we were listening to some of that. And

380
00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:42.280
we're like, Okay, well, this is interesting. So it was a lot of

381
00:25:42.280 --> 00:25:45.920
just like, I feel like there's a lot of interesting prophetic

382
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:50.200
words. And we were listening back to like, back on our

383
00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:53.720
prophetic words, like just some of them like, I felt like I

384
00:25:53.720 --> 00:25:59.520
wanted to just like, listen back. Because part of me just

385
00:25:59.520 --> 00:26:02.320
feels like and I think we've covered that to like, start

386
00:26:02.320 --> 00:26:06.080
dreaming again, start like believing like, what is it that

387
00:26:06.800 --> 00:26:10.680
that I want to be doing or you know, like that I was even

388
00:26:10.680 --> 00:26:14.400
thinking that driving back from dancing today because I'm like,

389
00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:20.560
Oh, I'm discontent, you know, and I'm like, Oh, well, God,

390
00:26:20.600 --> 00:26:24.240
that's what I actually need your help with, because it doesn't

391
00:26:24.240 --> 00:26:27.680
matter if I move or if I move jobs, or if I do all of these

392
00:26:27.680 --> 00:26:31.400
things, but there's something in me that's discontent. And I

393
00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:36.840
don't know why. And that's what needs to shift. And so I feel

394
00:26:36.840 --> 00:26:39.720
like I'm getting revelation. So I feel like there's movement. So

395
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:42.280
that's good. I feel like I'm getting more revelations, but

396
00:26:42.280 --> 00:26:48.520
it's like, maybe not going as fast. You know, like, it's not

397
00:26:48.520 --> 00:26:53.640
bad. It's just there are some things that you know, are coming

398
00:26:53.640 --> 00:27:03.080
up. So on. So we did that on Friday. And on Saturday, I was

399
00:27:03.080 --> 00:27:06.040
just out running errands. And all of a sudden, I started like,

400
00:27:06.520 --> 00:27:10.320
people were calling me and then I was getting text messages like,

401
00:27:10.320 --> 00:27:13.880
How are you feeling? How are you doing? Like, this must be so

402
00:27:13.880 --> 00:27:18.680
hard. And so this whole court thing had hit the newspapers.

403
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:22.760
And I didn't know. Yeah. So but it was just an online paper,

404
00:27:22.760 --> 00:27:26.320
like in our local news. And it was like, it was without our

405
00:27:26.320 --> 00:27:29.600
names, but like, people would figure out anyways, you know, so

406
00:27:29.600 --> 00:27:32.800
I was just like, Oh, my gosh. And I was like, Well, this is

407
00:27:32.800 --> 00:27:36.200
interesting. Because the night before we'd been listening to

408
00:27:36.200 --> 00:27:42.560
Sean bolts have been doing like a prayer of favor. One time I

409
00:27:42.560 --> 00:27:45.360
was in LA and I'd recorded it. So we're listening to it. And

410
00:27:45.360 --> 00:27:48.960
then it was like, if you have what it takes to contain it on

411
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:53.720
a on a public level, like, let them happen. Like something

412
00:27:53.720 --> 00:27:56.080
like this. And the next day, it's like, oh, you're in the

413
00:27:56.080 --> 00:28:00.920
paper. Like, I'm like, well, so I was really glad that I had

414
00:28:00.920 --> 00:28:04.400
made the decision the night before where I was like, Well,

415
00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:06.920
God, you know what, I don't have to be afraid of whatever is

416
00:28:06.920 --> 00:28:09.920
happening. Because you're like, I choose that you're my

417
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:13.400
protector, you know? And so when this happened, it was like,

418
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:18.600
but I still see my body will physically respond to it. Like

419
00:28:18.600 --> 00:28:23.520
my, it's like my, but I'm super at peace. And I'm like, I'm so

420
00:28:23.520 --> 00:28:26.360
at peace. So I'm like, freakishly at peace with

421
00:28:26.360 --> 00:28:30.000
everything. Yeah. But then at the same time, it's still like,

422
00:28:30.280 --> 00:28:32.760
what I've been saying before, like, I can still feel like my

423
00:28:32.760 --> 00:28:36.560
body is physically like wrestling with it. And I don't

424
00:28:36.560 --> 00:28:39.760
know if I'm causing that because I, I'm having a hard

425
00:28:39.760 --> 00:28:43.200
time letting go. You know what I mean? Like, I just can't seem to

426
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:50.040
figure out like, why? Why I'm do like, why it's like that. And so

427
00:28:50.040 --> 00:28:55.200
since the last time I was I was writing down also, you know,

428
00:28:56.840 --> 00:29:00.560
just like what I'm struggling with, and what I'm wanting, and

429
00:29:00.560 --> 00:29:04.160
like all of these things. And so I feel like I was writing, I was

430
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:06.640
struggling, then we did all these things that was really

431
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:11.120
felt really, you know, significant. And then this thing

432
00:29:11.120 --> 00:29:15.080
hit on Saturday. And I'm like, Oh, it's like another level of

433
00:29:15.080 --> 00:29:19.000
just getting to choose that. No, okay. I still choose that

434
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:24.360
you're protecting and you're just and it's like, and

435
00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:31.560
that's great. Yeah. And so I'm so sorry, you're in a really

436
00:29:31.560 --> 00:29:33.960
powerful situation to make those decisions.

437
00:29:34.280 --> 00:29:38.440
Yeah, so it's like, so it feels like it feels significant, you

438
00:29:38.440 --> 00:29:42.200
know, like, and then, and then I was listening to to the teaching

439
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:45.680
and I was like, Oh, yeah, that's what it is. Like, I have to

440
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:48.200
choose like, I don't have to feel it. I don't have to do

441
00:29:48.200 --> 00:29:51.480
these things. And, and I don't have to be religious about it.

442
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:54.960
Because, you know, like I said, I've been I've been struggling

443
00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:59.040
to like feel at home in my, in my former church before, you

444
00:29:59.040 --> 00:30:00.040
know, so I'm doing like

445
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.400
a lot of online services and I'm like going to like gospel church and all of these and there's

446
00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:10.480
been like some I guess people are like oh are you walking away from your faith and I'm like

447
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:19.040
on the contrary like I am very much not doing that you know and um it's not that I don't like I I

448
00:30:19.040 --> 00:30:24.800
definitely see the value but it's about um yeah finding my place and so I felt freedom and that

449
00:30:24.800 --> 00:30:34.080
too where it's like oh well if I if I choose to believe that God is good and he's love and he's

450
00:30:34.080 --> 00:30:39.920
protecting me in this and he's also providing then I'm like then that's what I choose I choose

451
00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:44.800
that he will provide you know like he will protect me in this case but he will provide

452
00:30:44.800 --> 00:30:50.960
me with what I need like he will provide me with like the community that I need like the church

453
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:56.640
that I need like he's done it before like he's gonna lead me to those things when the time is

454
00:30:56.640 --> 00:31:02.960
right and you know he's giving me what I need right now because I'm definitely like feeling

455
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:09.680
that that like um old wine skin you know like where's like oh I can't I can't go back because

456
00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:14.320
it's like it's too small of a jacket like I can't fit in it anymore you know and it's like

457
00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:19.920
even a lot of those relationships is like beautiful people you know but it's like we

458
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:26.880
don't have anything in common anymore you know like it's just like um yeah and I don't want to

459
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:32.160
go back to fit into that you know I just because I want to keep growing and I'm not saying they're

460
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:40.800
not growing but we're just growing differently you know um probably um but yeah so so I think

461
00:31:40.800 --> 00:31:46.960
it's really good to like have those like oh the five minutes to just choose like what am I gonna

462
00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:58.480
do now okay I'm gonna choose this and um yeah um but but it's probably like um you know when

463
00:31:58.480 --> 00:32:02.400
sometimes you surrender something is like oh I give this and then five minutes later it's like

464
00:32:02.400 --> 00:32:08.480
and I yeah you take it back and then oh no that's right I'm gonna give it all but I'll take it back

465
00:32:08.480 --> 00:32:14.640
so I think I'm in that wrestling thing but I'm moving you know I'm slowly moving and starting

466
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:20.480
to get like oh okay no I get I have like I get to choose I don't have to but it's like

467
00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:27.920
I get to choose and I get to lean into what is it that I like and then at the same time I can sit and

468
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:34.320
see that oh wow but there are chaotic things around me you know and that's why I'm procrastinating or

469
00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:39.200
you know like the things where I'm still like protecting myself and my body or I'm thinking

470
00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:45.360
these things and so I still I haven't fully gotten that yet but I'm I'm I think I'm I'm

471
00:32:45.360 --> 00:32:51.280
wrestling so I'm just like I'm yeah moving forward which is great and that's what labor

472
00:32:51.280 --> 00:32:56.960
is you know the body doesn't move from from I don't know whatever it is x centimeters I

473
00:32:56.960 --> 00:33:02.000
don't know how many start out at to 10 it doesn't just like boom it's like it's like well there's

474
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:07.120
movement you know there's there's yeah and so yeah and so there and there's this back and forth

475
00:33:07.120 --> 00:33:10.800
there's even like even the wrestling I would imagine with a woman where she's just because

476
00:33:10.800 --> 00:33:14.880
I haven't gone through labor yet but I'd imagine just from having watched it and seen it and just

477
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:20.480
known enough about humanity that yeah it's like well that's you're doing really good for a while

478
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:25.840
okay I'm doing really good I'm tired I don't know so many things get stuck can we like put

479
00:33:25.840 --> 00:33:30.960
it on pause so I can regain strength and we'll try again you know it's like you can't do that

480
00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:37.360
but um but it's that it's so it's like you do better at sometimes than others why because you're

481
00:33:37.360 --> 00:33:43.040
you're stretching and part of the stretching is stretching in like strength and endurance and

482
00:33:43.040 --> 00:33:47.360
you're you're just creating room and creating capacity in a variety of ways including you know

483
00:33:47.360 --> 00:33:53.280
your strength or whatever and there's it it's a process of like letting go and a process of

484
00:33:53.280 --> 00:33:59.840
choosing because there's it's not like just one like you flip it switch it is in theory and in

485
00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:06.400
concept in the fact that it's that simple but the process that we go through doesn't usually

486
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:13.120
um is doesn't usually approach it simplistically because we've got however many decades you know

487
00:34:13.120 --> 00:34:18.719
and you're under years in my belt that we believed something different we'd approached it from

488
00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:24.880
something from a different way or what's also really hard just to throw this in there is if

489
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:31.679
god is telling us to leave a season that he's the one that invited us into in the first place and it

490
00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:36.000
took us a while to get that breakthrough and now we're like okay i got it you know i've got it now

491
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:40.560
i contended for this ground and i've got it now and then you know a few years later god's like okay

492
00:34:40.560 --> 00:34:44.159
now we're gonna leave that you're like well wait a minute lord you're the one who told me i should

493
00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:49.360
that this is the good thing that this is the new thing he's like yes but we're gonna grow further

494
00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:53.760
now so it means you need to leave this and we can't do this anymore or we can't do it this way

495
00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:59.440
anymore and that it's hard to leave because you're like yeah but god satan didn't tell me to do this

496
00:34:59.440 --> 00:34:59.840
you did

497
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.000
Yeah.

498
00:35:01.000 --> 00:35:04.640
As weird as that is, even that can be hard.

499
00:35:04.640 --> 00:35:08.200
So point is, yeah, everything that you're talking about is great.

500
00:35:08.200 --> 00:35:13.220
It's just to recognize and to gain hope that, hey, I can see movement.

501
00:35:13.220 --> 00:35:19.320
And the most amount of movement, oddly, that I've noticed is, uh, is it's happening when

502
00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:21.720
you think nothing's happening.

503
00:35:21.720 --> 00:35:25.880
It feels like there is no movement, but as long as you're contending for it and you're

504
00:35:25.880 --> 00:35:31.000
continuing to press into the Lord, I've noticed that it's when you feel nothing's happening

505
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.240
that that's when everything is happening, but you don't know.

506
00:35:34.240 --> 00:35:40.120
And it's like, it's preparing you for a moment and it'll often, there'll be one moment and

507
00:35:40.120 --> 00:35:45.640
you'll flip it or you'll, you'll, you'll have a, have a breakthrough, you know, a mini breakthrough

508
00:35:45.640 --> 00:35:49.960
within the larger breakthrough, but it's because there was all of this work that was going

509
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:56.560
on when you frustratingly felt like for the past three weeks, I haven't felt anything.

510
00:35:56.560 --> 00:36:01.480
I have felt, in fact, I felt like I reverted, I have just been struggling and I'm just frustrated.

511
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:05.880
And I've noticed that that's a lot of times when that's, when everything is happening.

512
00:36:05.880 --> 00:36:10.840
And that you mentioned something, uh, about the, Oh, your body.

513
00:36:10.840 --> 00:36:11.840
Yeah.

514
00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:12.840
Same thing with your body.

515
00:36:12.840 --> 00:36:14.880
Your body is still waiting for the shoe to drop.

516
00:36:14.880 --> 00:36:15.880
Yeah.

517
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:18.600
It's like, yeah, because the court case isn't done yet.

518
00:36:18.600 --> 00:36:19.600
What's going to happen?

519
00:36:20.240 --> 00:36:24.800
No, we quote unquote been here before the court case, but with something similar, like

520
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:29.920
I trusted God before I have done such and such before.

521
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:34.480
And so I know from history what is likely to happen.

522
00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:35.480
Why?

523
00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:36.480
Because I've lived it.

524
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:37.480
It's already happened before.

525
00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:39.920
So I'm just waiting and expecting for it to happen.

526
00:36:39.920 --> 00:36:45.960
And what your body's going to learn through this is that it, by your spirit and your soul

527
00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:53.000
a different choice, your body will eventually come along and all because you have chosen

528
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:54.000
that you're right.

529
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:57.920
Your spirit and your soul have chosen that you're going to write a new record like, yeah,

530
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:01.960
we're going to go through the same situation as before, but this time we're going to, we're

531
00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:05.920
going to determine that it means something different than what we determined that it

532
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:06.920
meant last time.

533
00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:09.960
It determined last time that it meant God wasn't protecting us.

534
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:10.960
God wasn't whatever.

535
00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:18.400
So regardless of how the court case goes, this time we're, we know that God, that we're

536
00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:21.720
writing the new record in our lives, that God is still protector.

537
00:37:21.720 --> 00:37:25.600
He's still provider regardless of what happens and then that'll change the body.

538
00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:31.200
So it's just a process because the body is still in that old mindset of like, like, Hey,

539
00:37:31.200 --> 00:37:35.760
look, this is the instruction that you've been taught me to do and how you've been telling

540
00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:38.960
me to respond for the past X number of years.

541
00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:39.960
Yeah.

542
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:41.120
So now you're telling me to switch it.

543
00:37:41.120 --> 00:37:45.840
I think you're just delusional and I'll hang on to the last instruction that you gave me,

544
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:50.200
you know, because I've written a lot of stuff with this other one.

545
00:37:50.200 --> 00:37:55.120
So it's, it's hard for it to, it's hard for our soul and then it's hard for our body to

546
00:37:55.120 --> 00:37:57.600
catch up to the new record, especially our body.

547
00:37:57.600 --> 00:38:02.720
Because in a manner of speaking, our body doesn't make the decisions that a soul makes.

548
00:38:02.720 --> 00:38:05.000
The soul is the one who makes the decision for the body.

549
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:10.200
It's like the gateway and the bot, the body is just kind of like goes along for the ride.

550
00:38:10.200 --> 00:38:14.080
It just receives the instructions and like, okay, how do I, what am I supposed to do?

551
00:38:14.080 --> 00:38:15.960
What is it that we're believing now?

552
00:38:15.960 --> 00:38:16.960
And then what do I do?

553
00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:23.640
So it's like the loam on the totem pole and it's, it's, it's, it's almost like, so in

554
00:38:23.640 --> 00:38:30.560
other words, it's not having as much of a power to make certain decisions, to follow

555
00:38:30.560 --> 00:38:33.920
a new trajectory as the soul has.

556
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:37.840
So point is, I give you that encouragement that all of this sounds very normal.

557
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:40.600
It feels frustrating because you're like, you're like, I'm going through all of the,

558
00:38:40.600 --> 00:38:43.960
all of the choice and the effort and the faith to make a new decision.

559
00:38:43.960 --> 00:38:51.080
I want to, to gain the benefits of feeling that peace in my body too, but it's making

560
00:38:51.080 --> 00:38:53.600
the body a bit longer to jump on board.

561
00:38:53.600 --> 00:38:54.600
Yeah.

562
00:38:54.600 --> 00:38:56.800
But so in other words, everything's fine.

563
00:38:56.800 --> 00:38:58.120
Everything's normal.

564
00:38:58.120 --> 00:39:02.760
You've done the hard thing of continue of choosing in your soul, what it is that you're going

565
00:39:02.760 --> 00:39:03.760
to believe this time.

566
00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:05.720
And that's, that's hard enough.

567
00:39:05.720 --> 00:39:09.880
The body will just naturally come along without us really even having to do anything with

568
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:10.880
it.

569
00:39:10.880 --> 00:39:12.480
It's simply responding to the soul.

570
00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:16.760
So anyway, I think that's so good that you're saying that.

571
00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:20.320
Cause I was wondering, I'm like, Oh, cause I know there's one point in there when you

572
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:28.160
say just choose and then let God teach you and let, and then so that you can experience

573
00:39:28.160 --> 00:39:31.280
that he is good and that he is protector and all of that.

574
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:36.880
And then I was actually thinking, I'm like, Oh, cause there were still some of that old

575
00:39:36.880 --> 00:39:41.320
thinking where I'm just like, Oh, well, well, what happens if it doesn't, you know?

576
00:39:41.320 --> 00:39:44.480
And then it's like, like you said, now it's like, well, it doesn't matter because he's

577
00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:49.360
still good and he's still protector and he still knows, you know, cause I choose it,

578
00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:50.360
you know?

579
00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:56.080
But, but I think how Priscilla was saying that, like Santa Claus, I'm kind of scared

580
00:39:56.080 --> 00:39:58.280
that also with me.

581
00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:00.280
So saying it would go, the.

582
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.060
ultimate horrible way. And I don't think it will. But what if

583
00:40:03.060 --> 00:40:10.560
it would say that it would, and then and then for me to still

584
00:40:10.560 --> 00:40:12.940
just say, like, well, God is still protecting, he's still

585
00:40:12.940 --> 00:40:17.340
good, he's still just, even when that's not what you would then

586
00:40:17.340 --> 00:40:21.900
see in the physical world. Correct. I feel like, okay,

587
00:40:21.900 --> 00:40:26.460
well, how there's still something in me where I'm just

588
00:40:26.460 --> 00:40:29.160
like, part of me is like taking on it on a victim thing, you

589
00:40:29.160 --> 00:40:33.000
know, and part of me is like, well, is that just like, like

590
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:35.440
you're saying, like, wait, it's not even it's like the opposite

591
00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:38.040
of wishful thinking, but it's like covering up. You know what

592
00:40:38.040 --> 00:40:41.520
I mean? Like, it's like somebody did something and it's like, Oh,

593
00:40:41.520 --> 00:40:44.200
no, no, no, it didn't happen. But it's like, no, actually.

594
00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:50.420
Like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so that's what's really

595
00:40:50.420 --> 00:40:54.280
hard. And I've kind of wrestled a little bit with when I should

596
00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:58.000
introduce certain concepts, because I want every I want

597
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:03.840
people to gain encouragement, and be able to stretch in faith.

598
00:41:04.280 --> 00:41:06.880
And sometimes I wonder if like, well, should I just like

599
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:10.160
considered set this a little bit. But one of the things that

600
00:41:10.160 --> 00:41:15.360
I, I bet, I don't, I usually just just go all the way. And

601
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:20.480
like, here's the root issue. And as an example of that is, is my

602
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:27.360
story of I'm trying to remember, I think I talked to Yeah, I did.

603
00:41:27.360 --> 00:41:30.280
I talked about it last time, I might talk about it again this

604
00:41:30.280 --> 00:41:34.160
time. And in the next teaching session, I do, but I talked

605
00:41:34.160 --> 00:41:37.960
about at the last one, about when I was in Venice, and I ran

606
00:41:37.960 --> 00:41:41.760
out of money. And I couldn't, I couldn't pay to leave the hotel.

607
00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:45.440
Yeah, I was wondering, what happened? Because you went back

608
00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:52.800
and I'm like, I tried to check out technically four times. The

609
00:41:52.800 --> 00:41:59.360
fourth time I was able to check out. And but the previous three

610
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:03.280
times I couldn't, in the previous three times to at least

611
00:42:03.280 --> 00:42:10.800
two of those times, I completely packed my bags, and packed up

612
00:42:10.800 --> 00:42:13.760
the hotel room, packed my bags, went downstairs, closed the

613
00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:18.480
hotel room at, and then simply had to be simply had to have

614
00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:21.160
someone help me back up the stairs again, you know, with my

615
00:42:21.160 --> 00:42:23.160
bag, because they didn't have an elevator, because it's those

616
00:42:23.160 --> 00:42:27.480
old grandfathered in, you know, Venice hotel. So the thing is,

617
00:42:27.480 --> 00:42:32.440
it's a very arduous, like soul arduous ordeal that I had to go

618
00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:38.080
through of like, Lord, where are you? And that but the very first

619
00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:41.080
time and I continue to have to do this, but it happened to the

620
00:42:41.080 --> 00:42:43.880
very first time that I tried to check out and couldn't, I was

621
00:42:43.880 --> 00:42:46.960
packed, I took everything downstairs, waiting for money

622
00:42:47.120 --> 00:42:53.840
for like, hours, that never came. I was in the hotel lobby

623
00:42:54.080 --> 00:42:57.960
for hours with my suitcase, waiting for money to come in

624
00:42:57.960 --> 00:43:00.200
that never came in. And I'd already checked out. In other

625
00:43:00.200 --> 00:43:04.600
words, well, it's hard to explain. No, I didn't. I didn't

626
00:43:04.600 --> 00:43:07.880
check out. But they were okay with that, because I had my I

627
00:43:07.880 --> 00:43:11.920
kept my bags, where they could see them. So I wasn't gonna like

628
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:15.280
leave with them. And, and I just stayed in the hotel lobby.

629
00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:18.880
Anyway, it was it was very emotional. It was very

630
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:23.320
embarrassing. It was all very public. And that I didn't have

631
00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:27.440
the money to check out. And so finally, I just talked to them

632
00:43:27.480 --> 00:43:31.120
and just extended this day. So in other words, I didn't have to

633
00:43:32.160 --> 00:43:34.840
try to remember how that worked. Anyway, so the thing is, I went

634
00:43:34.840 --> 00:43:39.880
upstairs. And I and I lay down on the bed when I finally got

635
00:43:39.880 --> 00:43:43.440
back into the hotel. And that's when I explained that whole

636
00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:47.720
story of like, you know, God, I felt like I had this beautiful

637
00:43:47.720 --> 00:43:51.400
thing, but it felt but it feels like it was fragile. It feels

638
00:43:51.400 --> 00:43:54.680
like it was beautiful is precious. I was operating this

639
00:43:54.680 --> 00:43:57.960
from city to city city. And then all of a sudden, it I broke it.

640
00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:02.320
And I don't know what I did. And I felt, you know, that typical,

641
00:44:03.120 --> 00:44:05.600
that typical reaction that we have of like, I've done

642
00:44:05.600 --> 00:44:08.440
something wrong. It's my fault. I've messed up if something

643
00:44:08.440 --> 00:44:11.760
changed, and I don't like it. I'm the one to blame, you know,

644
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:14.960
so I did that with the Lord. I'm like, I don't know what I did.

645
00:44:15.760 --> 00:44:18.800
And I'm sorry, Lord, I really treasured what you gave me. I

646
00:44:18.800 --> 00:44:22.240
promise. I didn't take it for granted. I don't know what I did.

647
00:44:22.240 --> 00:44:25.000
But whatever it was, I am so sorry for breaking the eggshell

648
00:44:25.080 --> 00:44:28.640
is what it felt like. And, and so that's when he walked me

649
00:44:28.640 --> 00:44:30.680
through the whole thing of like, Ashley, who do you say that I

650
00:44:30.680 --> 00:44:35.160
am, and I came to understand what it was that he was trying

651
00:44:35.160 --> 00:44:41.600
to get me, all of us to do is to choose that he is something, not

652
00:44:41.600 --> 00:44:45.640
that he's going to do something for us. Yeah, yeah. That

653
00:44:45.640 --> 00:44:49.560
yeah, completely revolutionized my perspective. I'm like, okay,

654
00:44:49.560 --> 00:44:53.080
so you're telling me that the basis and the foundation of my

655
00:44:53.080 --> 00:44:55.680
faith, and we're going to talk about this later, in a few

656
00:44:55.680 --> 00:44:58.760
sessions, when we talk specifically about faith, that

657
00:44:59.080 --> 00:44:59.920
the because

658
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.520
I try to expound on it a bit, but that's the fact that God, what God wants us to have faith

659
00:45:04.520 --> 00:45:09.320
in is not that he's going to do something or manifest himself in a particular way or

660
00:45:09.320 --> 00:45:14.600
express himself in a particular way, but that he is something.

661
00:45:14.600 --> 00:45:18.220
And that's what we're supposed to have faith in because everything else, if our faith was

662
00:45:18.220 --> 00:45:20.840
in anything else, those things vary.

663
00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:25.000
Sometimes God does this, sometimes he does it like this, sometimes it appears like that.

664
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:30.360
And so if it's always changing, no wonder we feel like we can't trust God because we're

665
00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:35.480
looking at all of this to tell us what God is.

666
00:45:35.480 --> 00:45:40.520
Well, if it's always changing, then our trust with God is always going up and down and up

667
00:45:40.520 --> 00:45:41.520
and down.

668
00:45:41.520 --> 00:45:47.320
But if we trust that he is something and that never changes, regardless of if this changes,

669
00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:49.680
then our faith never wavers.

670
00:45:50.560 --> 00:45:56.000
So when the Lord showed me, Ashley, you trust that that is who I am, not that that is what

671
00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:57.320
I will do for you.

672
00:45:57.320 --> 00:46:01.420
In other words, that I will manifest in a particular way that you think provision should

673
00:46:01.420 --> 00:46:02.420
be manifested.

674
00:46:02.420 --> 00:46:04.800
Lord, if you provided for me, you would do this.

675
00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:07.040
Lord, if you loved me, you would act it out like this.

676
00:46:07.040 --> 00:46:12.920
Lord, if you protected me, this would have happened because this is how I'm protecting.

677
00:46:12.920 --> 00:46:18.320
It's putting conditions on God's character.

678
00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:21.240
If this is true, then this is how it would appear.

679
00:46:21.240 --> 00:46:27.800
And then we're dictating everything based off of our understanding or not our projection

680
00:46:27.800 --> 00:46:30.380
of a meaning onto a thing.

681
00:46:30.380 --> 00:46:33.200
This means protection, Lord, and I'm just telling you that does.

682
00:46:33.200 --> 00:46:39.020
So if you are that thing, you will act like that and realize that that's what we're doing.

683
00:46:39.020 --> 00:46:45.120
We think that that we're just that we're born like this and it's because it's true.

684
00:46:46.120 --> 00:46:47.160
He'll do this.

685
00:46:47.160 --> 00:46:48.520
And that's just not true.

686
00:46:48.520 --> 00:46:51.800
We've created that meaning and then we're holding God accountable to it.

687
00:46:51.800 --> 00:46:57.840
So when I learned to, to choose that he is something, I leave the manifestation up to

688
00:46:57.840 --> 00:47:05.760
him and it keeps my faith much more solid and much more even keel because I know that

689
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:09.920
even if something doesn't work out, like say for instance, that I didn't get the money

690
00:47:09.920 --> 00:47:10.920
for the hotel.

691
00:47:10.920 --> 00:47:13.000
And that's just one example that I mentioned.

692
00:47:13.000 --> 00:47:16.280
There's more, there's other really extreme things that I've been through.

693
00:47:16.280 --> 00:47:20.760
I can't think of them at the moment, but I know that there are like that in the manner

694
00:47:20.760 --> 00:47:24.200
of like protection or in the manner of like him being good to me or manner of him being

695
00:47:24.200 --> 00:47:25.640
loved, whatever.

696
00:47:25.640 --> 00:47:30.600
I just use the provision one because it it's money and it's like a very quick story and

697
00:47:30.600 --> 00:47:33.760
people can kind of like relate to it of like, Oh my word, you were in that situation.

698
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:34.760
That felt awful.

699
00:47:34.760 --> 00:47:40.840
But the thing is that I've had to learn in very extreme situations, okay.

700
00:47:40.840 --> 00:47:48.440
God is the thing, not, not God does this thing and I'm supposed to have faith that

701
00:47:48.440 --> 00:47:51.480
he is something, not that he will do it.

702
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:59.880
And that changed the anchor of my faith to be him, not in how he showed up again, changed

703
00:47:59.880 --> 00:48:00.880
everything.

704
00:48:00.880 --> 00:48:05.280
It's scary because then again, we're thinking like, well then I'm going to leave the control

705
00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:07.840
of my life over to the Lord.

706
00:48:07.840 --> 00:48:08.840
Exactly.

707
00:48:08.840 --> 00:48:09.840
Yeah.

708
00:48:09.840 --> 00:48:14.960
You know, well I wanted to, I wanted, I thought, Lord, if you were protector, I would always

709
00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:17.600
be kept from pain and that hasn't happened.

710
00:48:17.600 --> 00:48:19.680
So apparently you're not protector.

711
00:48:19.680 --> 00:48:24.680
So if, if you want to be protector in my life and if you want to hold to your word, Lord,

712
00:48:24.680 --> 00:48:28.320
then you'll keep me from pain or like, that's just not going to happen.

713
00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:29.320
We're going to experience pain.

714
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:32.800
So therefore that's something about God that we're not, that he's saying that we're not

715
00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:33.800
understanding.

716
00:48:33.800 --> 00:48:41.640
And, and so anyway, it leaves me, it, it, it, when bad quote unquote bad things happen,

717
00:48:41.640 --> 00:48:43.840
painful things happen, uncomfortable things happen.

718
00:48:43.840 --> 00:48:46.080
This is what the point I'm trying to make.

719
00:48:46.080 --> 00:48:48.440
They no longer affect me as much.

720
00:48:48.440 --> 00:48:51.960
Well, I say no longer, they still do cause I'm still growing and I'm still learning,

721
00:48:51.960 --> 00:48:57.880
but I'm saying they don't affect me in the way that they used to because they're not,

722
00:48:57.880 --> 00:49:05.560
they don't, I don't allow them to dictate to me as often who God is because the it's,

723
00:49:05.560 --> 00:49:12.520
I've chosen that he is something in my life, not that he does things in my life if that

724
00:49:12.520 --> 00:49:13.520
makes sense.

725
00:49:13.520 --> 00:49:18.120
And so when certain things happen that are again, uncomfortable or painful, I'm like,

726
00:49:18.120 --> 00:49:19.600
yeah, but God's still good.

727
00:49:19.600 --> 00:49:25.680
In other words, I'm safe because he exists and he's good and he's protector and he's

728
00:49:25.680 --> 00:49:28.520
provider and he's doing all those things for me.

729
00:49:28.520 --> 00:49:32.920
I'm just going through this painful thing, but this pain doesn't mean that there's an

730
00:49:32.920 --> 00:49:35.360
issue between me and God anymore.

731
00:49:35.360 --> 00:49:40.400
And it used to mean that it used to mean if I experienced pain or discomfort, that there

732
00:49:40.400 --> 00:49:44.640
was an issue that he wasn't holding at his end of the bargain or that I done something

733
00:49:44.640 --> 00:49:45.640
wrong.

734
00:49:45.640 --> 00:49:50.080
And I, and that's what I thought it was the pain that got me uncomfortable.

735
00:49:50.080 --> 00:49:54.880
It wasn't, it was the feeling that that net, that this was wrong.

736
00:49:54.880 --> 00:49:56.440
That's what always scared me.

737
00:49:56.440 --> 00:50:00.000
So we understand that if people have faith in who

738
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.000
who God is, that allows them to face the lions in the Coliseum or to be, or like the apostles.

739
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:13.220
One of them was sawn in half, you know, John was boiled in oil, you know, Peter was sacrificed

740
00:50:13.220 --> 00:50:15.700
upside down, all kinds of things.

741
00:50:15.700 --> 00:50:21.300
That is what enables them to do that is because they don't have faith that bad things aren't

742
00:50:21.300 --> 00:50:24.220
that God's not going to allow something bad to happen.

743
00:50:24.220 --> 00:50:26.300
It's faith that God is something.

744
00:50:26.300 --> 00:50:29.820
And that means that they're fine.

745
00:50:29.820 --> 00:50:33.740
Whatever happens on earth can happen because that doesn't bother me.

746
00:50:33.740 --> 00:50:36.700
What bothers me is God somehow stopping being who he is.

747
00:50:36.700 --> 00:50:41.580
And since that's never the case for me anymore, then whatever happens down here can happen.

748
00:50:41.580 --> 00:50:42.580
Does that make sense?

749
00:50:42.580 --> 00:50:47.620
It's a huge shift and it takes a bit to do and I'm still doing it.

750
00:50:47.620 --> 00:50:52.820
It's not like I have, but it's just that I've done it enough where I, where I can say, I

751
00:50:52.820 --> 00:50:57.020
know what it's like to actually do it and to live in that new place in certain areas

752
00:50:57.020 --> 00:51:00.100
of my life or at certain times.

753
00:51:00.100 --> 00:51:04.500
And I still, you can just ask my husband, I have a long way to go, but he's always having

754
00:51:04.500 --> 00:51:06.340
to remind me of my own teaching.

755
00:51:06.340 --> 00:51:07.340
Why did I tell him this?

756
00:51:07.340 --> 00:51:09.740
It's like, it's because I need to learn it.

757
00:51:09.740 --> 00:51:10.740
Okay.

758
00:51:10.740 --> 00:51:13.020
So that's why I have to teach it because I have to learn.

759
00:51:13.020 --> 00:51:16.020
I only teach what I've actually accomplished this far.

760
00:51:16.020 --> 00:51:19.980
But anyway, so is it, what are your thoughts on all that?

761
00:51:19.980 --> 00:51:21.500
Oh, that is so helpful.

762
00:51:21.500 --> 00:51:22.500
Yeah.

763
00:51:23.500 --> 00:51:28.940
Because I think that's the whole, just as you were speaking, I'm like, oh yeah, that's

764
00:51:28.940 --> 00:51:30.620
actually the key to it.

765
00:51:30.620 --> 00:51:31.620
That's what it is.

766
00:51:31.620 --> 00:51:37.700
Because I think that's why I've been so disappointed before is because I've been, you know, even

767
00:51:37.700 --> 00:51:43.180
a long time ago, like many, many, many years ago, I heard God say like, I want you to seek

768
00:51:43.180 --> 00:51:47.100
me for my presence, not for my presence.

769
00:51:47.100 --> 00:51:48.100
You know?

770
00:51:48.100 --> 00:51:51.100
And I'm like, but I want the presence.

771
00:51:52.100 --> 00:51:53.420
I want to see in the spirit.

772
00:51:53.420 --> 00:51:54.420
I want all of that.

773
00:51:54.420 --> 00:52:03.580
It's like, you know, and, and it's, and it's like, I think yesterday too, it was so funny

774
00:52:03.580 --> 00:52:07.940
because I went to gospel church and then I ran into this girl and I haven't seen her.

775
00:52:07.940 --> 00:52:13.260
I think I met her 10 years ago, maybe at a prophetic conference.

776
00:52:13.260 --> 00:52:17.540
And it was just random, me and another friend invited her and her family to dinner.

777
00:52:17.540 --> 00:52:21.900
And it turned into this beautiful, like prayer and worship session where it was like, we'd

778
00:52:21.900 --> 00:52:24.540
been worshiping, worshiping together for years.

779
00:52:24.540 --> 00:52:28.660
And it was like, it was beautiful.

780
00:52:28.660 --> 00:52:32.180
But so we're standing there talking and she's like, oh, but even now that I'm talking to

781
00:52:32.180 --> 00:52:37.140
you, I feel like I've always felt like God have something big, like something very significant

782
00:52:37.140 --> 00:52:38.140
on your life.

783
00:52:38.140 --> 00:52:39.660
And I'm like, I've heard that so many times.

784
00:52:39.660 --> 00:52:41.100
And then I become disappointed.

785
00:52:41.100 --> 00:52:47.140
And I'm like, and even with this court case, you know, it's like, oh, I'm believing, you

786
00:52:47.140 --> 00:52:51.020
know, that the impossible is going to happen that we're going to win.

787
00:52:51.020 --> 00:52:52.020
That's not impossible.

788
00:52:52.020 --> 00:52:56.420
You know, I think that's very possible, but it's like, I think the impossible would be

789
00:52:56.420 --> 00:53:02.060
that we would win most of it and have our costs covered and that it would stop.

790
00:53:02.060 --> 00:53:07.060
It wouldn't go to the next level court that would, everybody else is expecting that.

791
00:53:07.060 --> 00:53:12.460
And I'm like, I'm not expecting that, you know, I'm just expecting God to stop it and

792
00:53:12.460 --> 00:53:14.460
be like, it's done.

793
00:53:14.460 --> 00:53:15.460
No more.

794
00:53:15.460 --> 00:53:18.060
You know, now it's like done and you can move on.

795
00:53:18.060 --> 00:53:22.180
And part of it, I think is because, you know, I'm getting all these words to like, oh, it's

796
00:53:22.180 --> 00:53:23.180
the breakthrough.

797
00:53:23.180 --> 00:53:27.020
It's like, suddenly I even asked him like, oh, what are you, you know, like, what are

798
00:53:27.020 --> 00:53:28.540
you talking about?

799
00:53:28.540 --> 00:53:31.460
Like, what do you want to tell me now?

800
00:53:31.460 --> 00:53:36.980
You know, like what's ahead and, you know, and one of them were like, Deuteronomy one,

801
00:53:36.980 --> 00:53:39.900
five, you know, from verse five to 11.

802
00:53:39.900 --> 00:53:42.500
And one of them is like, it's time to break.

803
00:53:42.500 --> 00:53:44.820
And then I read, I was like, what does that mean?

804
00:53:44.820 --> 00:53:50.900
It's like to cause something to, to separate suddenly or violently, you know, like, it's

805
00:53:50.900 --> 00:53:55.860
just like, like, I feel like, oh, there's something, you know, like, there's something

806
00:53:55.860 --> 00:54:03.380
in the old that's being like, something's shifting suddenly, but then it wasn't until

807
00:54:03.380 --> 00:54:04.380
you were speaking.

808
00:54:04.380 --> 00:54:09.220
Now, I feel like I've been thinking, oh, if that doesn't happen, then I would probably

809
00:54:09.220 --> 00:54:16.900
go back and be like, Oh, well, then you're, you know, depressed, or you don't, you know,

810
00:54:16.900 --> 00:54:19.540
like, you get like, super down.

811
00:54:19.540 --> 00:54:24.140
But now I'm like, No, I get to choose that he is good, and he is protector, regardless.

812
00:54:24.140 --> 00:54:29.820
And then I just have to remind myself so that you don't become like a pathic in the way

813
00:54:29.820 --> 00:54:32.100
where it's like, Oh, well, you know what I mean?

814
00:54:32.100 --> 00:54:39.300
Like, I think that's what I'm mostly scared about is that I'm wanting so much this experience

815
00:54:39.300 --> 00:54:42.940
of him being so powerful.

816
00:54:42.940 --> 00:54:47.060
That I think part of me is scared that that's going to happen of how I would react.

817
00:54:47.060 --> 00:54:52.740
But then also part of me is scared if it won't, that I would still be able to say he's protector

818
00:54:52.740 --> 00:54:55.820
and he's good.

819
00:54:55.820 --> 00:55:00.300
But I'm just like, I think I'm scared that I feel like I would

820
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.460
be lying to myself, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just

821
00:55:02.460 --> 00:55:07.620
like, Oh, I'm saying this, but I don't know if I'm actually Yes,

822
00:55:07.620 --> 00:55:09.960
I've chose to believe it. But I don't know if I actually do,

823
00:55:09.980 --> 00:55:12.900
you know, like, the same thing I was talking about, like with my

824
00:55:12.900 --> 00:55:15.940
body thing, you know, I'm like, Am I really believing that or

825
00:55:15.940 --> 00:55:16.860
no, you know?

826
00:55:17.740 --> 00:55:23.980
Yeah, that's a good point. And so that's why, when I talk about

827
00:55:24.180 --> 00:55:28.140
choosing it, it's a willful, intentional decision that we

828
00:55:28.140 --> 00:55:34.080
make not a Oh, well, a wishful thinking or trying to make

829
00:55:34.080 --> 00:55:37.400
ourselves feel a particular way or waiting for this feeling to

830
00:55:37.400 --> 00:55:39.660
happen. Yeah. And then we're like, if that feeling happens,

831
00:55:39.660 --> 00:55:43.620
then I know I believe it. Yeah. And that it's not it's that we

832
00:55:44.020 --> 00:55:49.200
it's taking up. It's believing that God gave us an authority to

833
00:55:49.200 --> 00:55:54.080
make a decree. Yeah. And that and that we have so much power

834
00:55:54.080 --> 00:55:58.700
that if we decide, then it makes it true. It makes it

835
00:55:58.700 --> 00:56:02.420
happen. And we don't realize that we have that authority. So

836
00:56:02.420 --> 00:56:06.260
it's finally realizing that God gave us that authority choosing

837
00:56:06.260 --> 00:56:09.740
by faith again, all these all these levels of faith, choosing

838
00:56:09.740 --> 00:56:12.540
by faith, that actually is true that God did give me that

839
00:56:12.540 --> 00:56:16.040
authority. Okay, Lord, in faith that you gave me that authority,

840
00:56:16.040 --> 00:56:19.820
I am going to then choose in faith that you really are that

841
00:56:19.820 --> 00:56:22.340
thing. And that that is how the world works. And that that I

842
00:56:22.340 --> 00:56:25.640
Lord, I choose and I make the decree in my kingdom, that

843
00:56:25.640 --> 00:56:28.940
whatever God says is what goes. Yeah, if God says this about

844
00:56:28.940 --> 00:56:31.620
himself, I'm letting the rest of you know, I'm letting my life

845
00:56:31.620 --> 00:56:34.120
know, I'm letting my finances know, I'm letting my body know,

846
00:56:34.120 --> 00:56:37.640
I'm letting you all know, that is how it's going to happen. So

847
00:56:37.820 --> 00:56:41.900
expect it. Expect God to be good. Expect God to protect it.

848
00:56:41.900 --> 00:56:46.080
Expect God doesn't mean that you're going to be comfortable,

849
00:56:46.100 --> 00:56:49.780
you're going to be everything's going to go the way that you

850
00:56:49.780 --> 00:56:53.700
wish that it would. Yeah, it just means watch for God being

851
00:56:53.700 --> 00:56:57.100
him because I've given him permission to be him here,

852
00:56:57.340 --> 00:57:01.380
regardless of what that means for the rest of us. That means

853
00:57:01.380 --> 00:57:05.020
that brings pain, though, it's realizing that you were the king

854
00:57:05.060 --> 00:57:08.300
of your kingdom that is giving permission for God to be him in

855
00:57:08.300 --> 00:57:11.100
you in your life, everything that touches your life,

856
00:57:11.100 --> 00:57:13.740
everything that's within your realm of authority to make a

857
00:57:13.740 --> 00:57:17.060
decree for it to listen to you any aspect of creation, whether

858
00:57:17.060 --> 00:57:20.300
it's in your emotions, like it's in the soulish realm, the

859
00:57:20.300 --> 00:57:22.260
metaphysical, I don't know if that's called metaphysical

860
00:57:22.260 --> 00:57:24.820
realm, I call metaphysical realm, the in between realm, you

861
00:57:24.820 --> 00:57:27.100
know, where it's like your emotions or your thoughts,

862
00:57:27.100 --> 00:57:31.340
things that you can't see, or it's the things that you or even

863
00:57:31.340 --> 00:57:36.820
like the laws of finances, you know, that touch your life there

864
00:57:36.820 --> 00:57:40.500
you're telling it any laws of science, any laws of physics and

865
00:57:40.500 --> 00:57:46.820
any laws of finances that touch my kingdom, you are subject to

866
00:57:46.820 --> 00:57:50.260
God. That's what allowed Jesus to walk on top of the water,

867
00:57:50.460 --> 00:57:54.180
because the kingdom of God came into the into the same place as

868
00:57:54.180 --> 00:57:57.460
the you know, the laws of physics, but it triumphed. Why?

869
00:57:57.460 --> 00:58:00.900
Because Jesus brought the authority of God into the moment

870
00:58:00.900 --> 00:58:03.780
and said, and so whenever the authority of God or the kingdom

871
00:58:03.780 --> 00:58:05.820
of God is brought into the kingdom of this world, the king

872
00:58:05.820 --> 00:58:09.620
of God always trumps it. So Jesus is the one who had to

873
00:58:09.620 --> 00:58:12.820
recognize that he had the authority to bring the kingdom

874
00:58:12.820 --> 00:58:17.100
of God in. And then but he doesn't have a right to tell the

875
00:58:17.100 --> 00:58:20.700
kingdom of God how it should act. In other words, God himself,

876
00:58:21.180 --> 00:58:25.780
not kingdom of God, you know, but so my point is, it can it'll

877
00:58:25.780 --> 00:58:29.580
change your that decision will change the law how finances work

878
00:58:29.580 --> 00:58:33.540
around you how like even the finances of your business that

879
00:58:33.540 --> 00:58:39.220
you're in, simply because you're a salt planted there. It can it

880
00:58:39.220 --> 00:58:41.260
can affect and change that I watched that happen in the

881
00:58:41.260 --> 00:58:46.700
businesses that I was involved in. And my presence changed what

882
00:58:46.700 --> 00:58:50.300
happened, it allowed impossible things to happen simply because

883
00:58:50.340 --> 00:58:55.020
I brought in a higher authority than that authority. And it

884
00:58:55.020 --> 00:58:57.780
didn't mean that everything went the way that I wanted. It meant

885
00:58:57.780 --> 00:59:00.140
that since I brought in the authority, I was allowing God to

886
00:59:00.140 --> 00:59:03.100
do what he wanted. And God started doing the impossible. I

887
00:59:03.100 --> 00:59:05.540
didn't dictate to him that that's what he needed to do. In

888
00:59:05.540 --> 00:59:09.940
fact, I didn't even pray for specific things. I didn't pray

889
00:59:09.940 --> 00:59:12.540
that this would happen and this would work out and we'd hit our

890
00:59:12.540 --> 00:59:16.460
deadline and whatever. I just served him and I'm just like,

891
00:59:16.460 --> 00:59:19.540
Okay, Lord, do whatever you want. And that's when he started

892
00:59:19.540 --> 00:59:23.140
blowing everyone away. And very sadly, people didn't know to

893
00:59:23.140 --> 00:59:27.180
attribute it to him. But I did. I knew what was going on. I was

894
00:59:27.180 --> 00:59:32.060
like, there is no way we have done this. Yeah. But anyway, so

895
00:59:32.060 --> 00:59:37.100
the thing is, is it, we have to realize, you know, talking about

896
00:59:37.460 --> 00:59:41.420
how do I know if I did not if I'm like, choosing it simply by

897
00:59:41.420 --> 00:59:47.580
denying, like, then, so it's like your sense of choice isn't

898
00:59:47.580 --> 00:59:52.740
strong enough to make the decision unless you completely

899
00:59:52.740 --> 00:59:56.980
silence this one. And what we need to do is we need to build

900
00:59:56.980 --> 01:00:00.140
our confidence and our faith in our authority that it is

901
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.840
so strong. It can make the choice even with this being true. So what you're talking about

902
01:00:06.840 --> 01:00:11.480
there is you're like, I can't, I don't feel powerful enough to choose unless this isn't

903
01:00:11.480 --> 01:00:18.300
real. And so when we realize, Oh, that's what I'm up against. Yeah. I, it's not realizing

904
01:00:18.300 --> 01:00:24.600
that I am who God says that I am. And so we have to make that choice first to be able

905
01:00:24.600 --> 01:00:29.620
to then choose something while this is still true. So that's why it was so hard for me

906
01:00:29.620 --> 01:00:36.420
to make that choice that God was provider. Why? Because reality was I had no money. Yeah.

907
01:00:36.420 --> 01:00:42.820
And then it's in the face of reality that that choice act. And that's something that

908
01:00:42.820 --> 01:00:49.380
I forgot to point out. It's only within, it's only making the choice in the face of reality

909
01:00:49.380 --> 01:00:57.380
that gives that choice actual power. Otherwise it has no power. If it's not working in, if

910
01:00:57.380 --> 01:01:03.020
you're not making a choice for that in reality, if you're making a choice for it in like

911
01:01:03.020 --> 01:01:09.460
suspended reality, it's not really the choice. So, yeah. Yeah. So, but anyway, and so that's

912
01:01:09.460 --> 01:01:12.620
what I'll be talking about next time is, you know, who is it, you know, in the next teaching,

913
01:01:12.620 --> 01:01:17.780
you know, who is it that God says that we are, because that is what we really do have

914
01:01:17.780 --> 01:01:23.620
to remember. In fact, that's a lot of what Priscilla and, you know, with kind of talking

915
01:01:23.620 --> 01:01:30.220
about in when she was talking about the struggles that she was going through right now there,

916
01:01:30.220 --> 01:01:37.380
what I heard a lot of in there was this sub current of not, and not that we have of not

917
01:01:37.380 --> 01:01:44.660
remembering or realizing and acknowledging the authority that God gave us as people.

918
01:01:44.660 --> 01:01:47.980
Therefore as even if we're women, regardless of whether we're a man or a woman, if we're

919
01:01:47.980 --> 01:01:53.460
people, we have this meaning sons of God that have chosen him. We have this particular

920
01:01:53.460 --> 01:02:01.620
authority, but we don't know that we do. So we feel subject to therefore afraid about

921
01:02:01.620 --> 01:02:05.940
all of these other things that we think determine our lives or determine our relationship with

922
01:02:05.940 --> 01:02:11.860
the Lord or keep us from God or whatever, because we're not remembering or realizing

923
01:02:11.860 --> 01:02:15.500
how much authority we actually have. We're not acknowledging that we have the right to

924
01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:21.220
make decrees in our own kingdom and allow and say, Hey, everybody, just a heads up.

925
01:02:21.220 --> 01:02:26.660
I've given God permission and he, he wouldn't come in and storm the walls and overtake us

926
01:02:26.660 --> 01:02:31.940
in order to be himself in our life. I had to give him permission. I had to give him

927
01:02:31.940 --> 01:02:35.980
authority. Why? Because he named me the highest authority in my kingdom. And he's not going

928
01:02:35.980 --> 01:02:42.020
to he's not going to overthrow that. You know, he's not going to come in like a conquering

929
01:02:42.020 --> 01:02:45.580
king, completely blown me away. Well, that would completely, you know, ruin my trust

930
01:02:45.580 --> 01:02:48.820
in him. He's not going to do that. He waits for me to give him permission. Just to let

931
01:02:48.820 --> 01:02:54.380
you all know, I've given him permission. He's coming in. Whatever he says is what I have

932
01:02:54.380 --> 01:03:02.540
given him the authority to execute. And that is what has the end. And so it's my law that

933
01:03:02.540 --> 01:03:10.140
I decided is going to be true. So you're making a law, you're making a decree. And how do

934
01:03:10.220 --> 01:03:13.820
you know which laws and decrees to make? They're not made up out of your head. They're whatever

935
01:03:13.820 --> 01:03:18.660
God has already said first, but it's you standing in the authority that you have the right to

936
01:03:18.660 --> 01:03:23.020
make the decree and that everything else is going to listen to that authority that actually

937
01:03:23.020 --> 01:03:26.660
gives it power. And then everything starts happening in your life. Everything starts

938
01:03:26.660 --> 01:03:31.620
changing. You start feeling different. You start experiencing the power of his presence,

939
01:03:31.620 --> 01:03:36.500
regardless of what happens around you and how it affects them. And then you're, and

940
01:03:36.500 --> 01:03:41.580
then you feel like, yeah, I'm fine with whatever happening in life with whatever's happening

941
01:03:41.580 --> 01:03:48.100
in life. If it continues to happen, I'm fine with that. As long as I feel God in this way,

942
01:03:48.100 --> 01:03:54.420
I'm feeling his power. I am feeling his safety. I am feeling his goodness. I'm feeling his

943
01:03:54.420 --> 01:04:00.940
love. Then I know it's true that it's currently in operation and everything else is just in

944
01:04:00.940 --> 01:04:05.980
chaos, just shifting to, to, because it has the choice of whether or not to come into

945
01:04:05.980 --> 01:04:13.820
alignment with who I, who I am now in alignment with, with God, or that it's choosing as creation

946
01:04:13.820 --> 01:04:18.260
like the fig tree that Jesus had to curse, not to come into alignment. And therefore

947
01:04:18.260 --> 01:04:22.460
God's going to deal with it. But in the middle of all of that, it's having to shift because

948
01:04:22.460 --> 01:04:26.460
it's not in alignment yet. So it's shifting and everything that chooses to come into alignment,

949
01:04:26.460 --> 01:04:29.620
that's great. And it's going to come into order and it's going to respond to you. Everything

950
01:04:29.620 --> 01:04:33.540
else that shifts and doesn't come into alignment, God's going to deal with it like the fig tree

951
01:04:33.540 --> 01:04:37.060
and say, Hey, you're not even a lot. You're not allowed here anymore. And that happens

952
01:04:37.060 --> 01:04:41.340
sometimes with just to paint it on, like on a broader scale, what it would happen with

953
01:04:41.340 --> 01:04:47.500
me in business. There were people that didn't receive me and what it was that I was bringing,

954
01:04:47.500 --> 01:04:52.060
because I would always bring the kingdom of God with me. This, I wouldn't like proselytize

955
01:04:52.060 --> 01:04:57.780
and evangelize that I didn't do any of that. I was just, I internally brought in the kingdom

956
01:04:57.780 --> 01:04:59.620
and if they could in spiritually.

957
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.240
People could sense that. And so everything was chaotic and it was like worse when I first came in, you know

958
01:05:07.240 --> 01:05:08.040
and

959
01:05:08.040 --> 01:05:15.240
And then and then it was before I came in it was worse after I did and then eventually as everything everything had the choice

960
01:05:15.240 --> 01:05:19.600
To come to alignment it would come into alignment and when things wouldn't come into alignment

961
01:05:19.600 --> 01:05:26.360
They were either they would God would either move them somewhere else or he would eventually move me out of that project or that business

962
01:05:26.680 --> 01:05:30.400
Because it had the opportunity to come into alignment and said no

963
01:05:31.000 --> 01:05:35.140
Yeah, so he would either move it out or he would move me out

964
01:05:35.400 --> 01:05:43.200
But anyway, it's all because I'm offering a specific authority and it's required now to make a choice and God will then exact judgment

965
01:05:43.280 --> 01:05:47.540
He will either say hey look leave the whole town kick the dust of it off

966
01:05:47.540 --> 01:05:48.040
Yeah

967
01:05:48.040 --> 01:05:50.040
Or while you're there

968
01:05:50.240 --> 01:05:52.240
He'll cut someone off and

969
01:05:52.240 --> 01:06:00.040
He'll send them to a different a different project or a different business or whatever because they refuse they made a final decision

970
01:06:00.040 --> 01:06:02.800
It's not like oh, they're struggling. No, they made their final decision

971
01:06:02.800 --> 01:06:07.160
God knows when that is and he he knows in their heart and he exacts the judgment

972
01:06:07.840 --> 01:06:10.520
but anyway, I made a lot bigger of a

973
01:06:11.520 --> 01:06:13.520
like a point

974
01:06:13.520 --> 01:06:15.520
No

975
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:22.960
Really really good. Yeah, it's so helpful. And I think there's something in that to like just on being understanding right now as you're

976
01:06:23.360 --> 01:06:25.360
talking about the authority

977
01:06:25.440 --> 01:06:28.000
because I think there's something where I've kind of

978
01:06:29.240 --> 01:06:32.120
taken on and maybe gotten comfortable with

979
01:06:32.800 --> 01:06:38.520
Almost like being weak or like a victim, you know, not that I am but then it's like yeah

980
01:06:38.920 --> 01:06:42.560
It doesn't then I don't have that much responsibility

981
01:06:43.520 --> 01:06:49.240
You know, like even even at like work. It's like, oh, well, I'm not gonna be here for so long or whatever and it's like

982
01:06:49.240 --> 01:06:53.000
Oh, well, the boss likes her better than me. It doesn't matter. It's like

983
01:06:54.360 --> 01:06:59.680
Or like oh no. Yeah, but I'm going through this thing, you know, it's like oh, this is so chaotic

984
01:06:59.680 --> 01:07:07.000
It kind of gives me a hall pass like oh, but it's because of this thing, you know, and it's like mmm

985
01:07:07.000 --> 01:07:09.560
That's not what I want to be partnering with, you know

986
01:07:10.080 --> 01:07:16.280
Yeah, and it's not necessarily what's happening I think it's because I feel it in my body and then I'm just like oh

987
01:07:17.200 --> 01:07:24.720
yeah, it's really tough, you know, and it's like I'm even saying this like it's like I'm fine like I like I am fine, you

988
01:07:24.720 --> 01:07:26.560
know

989
01:07:26.560 --> 01:07:28.560
So that's a really good point

990
01:07:28.880 --> 01:07:34.600
Yeah, really good point that we do that. And I think part of the reason that we do that is we haven't

991
01:07:35.560 --> 01:07:38.840
Realized and recognized the benefit to having responsibility

992
01:07:39.920 --> 01:07:43.440
we think that it's gonna we're more afraid of

993
01:07:44.120 --> 01:07:46.880
What we believe God will punish

994
01:07:47.400 --> 01:07:49.680
If we get the responsibility wrong

995
01:07:49.680 --> 01:07:54.640
In other words, if we don't handle it, right as opposed to understanding no

996
01:07:54.640 --> 01:07:54.840
No

997
01:07:54.840 --> 01:08:01.520
The benefits far outweigh, you know any kind of risk and what is that risk that risk is not what we think it is

998
01:08:01.520 --> 01:08:07.240
That risk is not that God who's now gonna hate us. You can stop talking to us. It's gonna you know, it's gonna punish

999
01:08:07.240 --> 01:08:12.240
That that's not who God says that his that he is and that his relationship is with us anymore

1000
01:08:12.760 --> 01:08:16.200
Because we chose a different covenant. He offered us a different covenant

1001
01:08:16.200 --> 01:08:21.920
He said you can choose the covenant of punishment blessing and punishment or you can choose the covenant of you know

1002
01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:26.000
Jesus Christ, which is there is no punishment. You're completely free, you know, whatever

1003
01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:28.560
Everything then is just simply like

1004
01:08:28.920 --> 01:08:33.319
Adjustment it's just correction. It's like no. No, that's actually that's not who I am

1005
01:08:34.840 --> 01:08:36.479
Therefore that's not who you are

1006
01:08:36.479 --> 01:08:42.200
So you need to understand who it is that I am and therefore who it is that you are and come into agreement with

1007
01:08:42.200 --> 01:08:47.040
That start acting like that as opposed to hey stop that behavior cut it out. What are you doing?

1008
01:08:47.399 --> 01:08:53.080
you know, that's that old covenant and we keep thinking that that's going to happen when we have responsibility in the new and

1009
01:08:53.880 --> 01:08:59.120
So anyway, we're afraid of things that really there's more freedom and responsibility

1010
01:08:59.560 --> 01:09:01.880
Mm-hmm, and there's more bondage

1011
01:09:02.560 --> 01:09:04.279
with without

1012
01:09:04.279 --> 01:09:08.479
Responsibility and we keep thinking for instance that it's a great example

1013
01:09:08.479 --> 01:09:15.640
We keep talking for instance about how free childhood is. Yeah, but you don't get to decide anything for yourself

1014
01:09:16.960 --> 01:09:20.680
Her mom says you have to go you have to do whatever mom says you have to do, you know

1015
01:09:20.800 --> 01:09:25.680
And we think of it as being carefree, but really there's how

1016
01:09:26.279 --> 01:09:32.399
As much as people look back fondly on their childhood or on aspects of their childhood where they didn't have adult responsibilities

1017
01:09:32.399 --> 01:09:35.200
I have yet to meet a single person that wishes they could go back

1018
01:09:35.439 --> 01:09:42.640
Why because they have gay even with all of the adulting that they have to do they realize that there's more freedom and responsibility

1019
01:09:43.279 --> 01:09:49.399
Than a lack of it. Yeah. Anyway that can kind of like encourage us to okay. Well, there's no need to be afraid of

1020
01:09:50.680 --> 01:09:56.080
No, there's actually freedom in it. But everything you pointed out is exactly how we do it

1021
01:09:56.080 --> 01:09:59.960
We think I don't want the responsibility because then I can be

1022
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.720
blamed, or then I'll blame myself or whatever. But again,

1023
01:10:03.720 --> 01:10:06.900
that's based off of that old covenant, as opposed to the new

1024
01:10:06.900 --> 01:10:10.280
one. And so we can under so we can understand no, no, this is

1025
01:10:10.280 --> 01:10:13.840
the in responsibility with him, there's actually freedom, not

1026
01:10:13.840 --> 01:10:19.640
the fear and the threat of blame, or a punishment, or a

1027
01:10:19.960 --> 01:10:22.440
public disgrace and candle or

1028
01:10:23.080 --> 01:10:23.880
yeah, yeah, yeah.

1029
01:10:24.280 --> 01:10:26.600
But yeah, you make really, really good points. It's exactly

1030
01:10:26.600 --> 01:10:29.760
what we do. And it's scary. So we just have to choose again by

1031
01:10:29.760 --> 01:10:33.360
faith. God says that he is different. Therefore, we can

1032
01:10:33.360 --> 01:10:37.520
expect out of responsibility, a different experience with him

1033
01:10:37.800 --> 01:10:42.160
than what we're afraid of that's keeping us from it. And when I

1034
01:10:42.160 --> 01:10:45.360
learned when I started taking more ownership of my life, I am

1035
01:10:45.360 --> 01:10:48.640
telling you what, I don't know how to describe it, my life

1036
01:10:48.640 --> 01:10:51.800
literally did a 180. Everything in my life changed. And it's

1037
01:10:51.800 --> 01:10:57.880
like it went from pale pink color, like pale pastel colors

1038
01:10:58.080 --> 01:11:02.960
to technicolor. And literally every area of my life finances,

1039
01:11:02.960 --> 01:11:07.440
friends, opportunity, travel, money, everything went into

1040
01:11:07.440 --> 01:11:11.720
technicolor, all because I chose that God was who he says that he

1041
01:11:11.720 --> 01:11:15.760
was, and that I had the authority and the preciousness

1042
01:11:15.760 --> 01:11:18.760
in his sight that he said that I did. And when I started acting

1043
01:11:18.760 --> 01:11:23.320
like that, risking his, you know, again, that my old my old

1044
01:11:23.320 --> 01:11:26.440
foundation, risking his potential punishment, risking

1045
01:11:26.440 --> 01:11:29.400
his favor, risking that he was going to strike me by lightning,

1046
01:11:29.560 --> 01:11:32.800
risking that he was going to that I was making decisions

1047
01:11:32.800 --> 01:11:40.080
that that in wasn't that maybe were accidentally not fully

1048
01:11:40.080 --> 01:11:43.600
in line with his or whatever. I used to be so afraid of moving a

1049
01:11:43.600 --> 01:11:46.800
muscle here. And here I would just open myself up. And when I

1050
01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:51.320
did, the Lord just continued to bless me, upon bless me upon

1051
01:11:51.320 --> 01:11:55.280
blessing. It was just like, it was very overwhelming. It got to

1052
01:11:55.280 --> 01:11:58.960
the point where I thought, you know, so God is doing stuff for

1053
01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:02.680
me all the time, I need to write all of this out. And I, and I

1054
01:12:02.680 --> 01:12:07.280
finally got too overwhelmed and tired of writing them out

1055
01:12:07.280 --> 01:12:12.160
because they were, I don't know, I would, I would experience and

1056
01:12:12.160 --> 01:12:16.640
this is no joke, at least 50 things a day, at least that he

1057
01:12:16.640 --> 01:12:18.880
was good, that he was loved, that he was protector, that he

1058
01:12:18.880 --> 01:12:21.800
was provider, that he was whatever. It was so

1059
01:12:21.800 --> 01:12:24.720
overwhelming, that I couldn't write them all down. So I just

1060
01:12:24.720 --> 01:12:28.000
gave it up. I think I gave it up after like, a day and a half.

1061
01:12:30.120 --> 01:12:37.240
Forget it. I couldn't even remember. I can't remember them

1062
01:12:37.240 --> 01:12:42.240
all. I just have the emotional memory of them that it was that

1063
01:12:42.240 --> 01:12:45.560
that life is so overwhelming. I wish I had written them down

1064
01:12:45.560 --> 01:12:48.720
though. So that I can tell people specific things. Hey,

1065
01:12:48.720 --> 01:12:52.800
look, these were my experiences and overwhelm men with the

1066
01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:58.520
specifics of them. But, but I can't, it was, it was, and I,

1067
01:12:58.520 --> 01:13:00.960
that was actually my reason for doing it was not only to

1068
01:13:00.960 --> 01:13:03.640
encourage me in the very difficult times, but during

1069
01:13:03.640 --> 01:13:05.960
teachings and whatever, to be able to have all of this

1070
01:13:05.960 --> 01:13:08.560
background evidence. Hey, look, there's this and there was this

1071
01:13:08.560 --> 01:13:10.960
and there's this and there's this. But like I said, when you

1072
01:13:10.960 --> 01:13:15.360
have like 50 things in a day, I can't write them all down

1073
01:13:15.520 --> 01:13:18.120
because they all have context for them as well. It's not like

1074
01:13:18.120 --> 01:13:20.800
a little book. It's like, no, you have to understand what that

1075
01:13:20.920 --> 01:13:27.000
point means. Well, it's because forget it. That my point is,

1076
01:13:27.000 --> 01:13:30.360
that's what we can expect when we stand in who it is that God

1077
01:13:30.360 --> 01:13:33.080
says that we are, it literally will change your life into

1078
01:13:33.080 --> 01:13:37.840
technicolor every single aspect of your life. And I didn't. And

1079
01:13:37.880 --> 01:13:41.520
I didn't know that life, there was something in my spirit that

1080
01:13:41.520 --> 01:13:44.600
knew that life was meant to be like that. But I'd never seen

1081
01:13:44.600 --> 01:13:47.360
anybody else live like that. So I didn't know that you could

1082
01:13:47.360 --> 01:13:50.560
live like that. There was something my soul didn't know I

1083
01:13:50.560 --> 01:13:54.120
can live like that. But my spirit did. Yeah. So when I saw

1084
01:13:54.120 --> 01:13:57.640
it, I'm like, Oh, my word. I didn't know you could live like

1085
01:13:57.640 --> 01:14:06.280
this. That's my soul, that my spirit. Anyway, but yeah, we've

1086
01:14:06.280 --> 01:14:08.960
gone long past. Do you have anything that you wanted to go

1087
01:14:08.960 --> 01:14:09.880
over before we leave?

1088
01:14:10.000 --> 01:14:14.080
No, that was amazing. Thank you so much. So good. Yeah.

1089
01:14:14.480 --> 01:14:18.680
Well, I hope that you feel well. And and yeah, so if you just

1090
01:14:18.680 --> 01:14:20.680
take all of the things that we've talked about today,

1091
01:14:20.680 --> 01:14:23.160
especially specifically about, you know, having faith and

1092
01:14:23.160 --> 01:14:27.440
choosing that God is the thing, not that you think, and I'd be

1093
01:14:27.440 --> 01:14:30.720
interested to hear maybe on Thursday, how maybe that's

1094
01:14:30.720 --> 01:14:35.280
changed your morning intentions. And then especially most

1095
01:14:35.280 --> 01:14:38.040
especially the evening ones, like how you end up seeing it,

1096
01:14:38.040 --> 01:14:40.320
because you'll start looking for different things. You'll start

1097
01:14:40.320 --> 01:14:44.000
looking for God being himself, not for God causing things.

1098
01:14:44.320 --> 01:14:47.240
Yeah, there's the whole causing things. Yes. Because it's part

1099
01:14:47.240 --> 01:14:50.000
of how he's just simply talking to us in our language. He's

1100
01:14:50.000 --> 01:14:53.000
translating it from the spirit is changing it from Greek into

1101
01:14:53.000 --> 01:14:56.880
English. Yeah. So there's that he's just trying to communicate

1102
01:14:56.880 --> 01:15:00.080
with us, you know, talking to us instead of writing it down.

1103
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.060
on. It's just a form of it, of communication. But what we're doing is we're solidifying

1104
01:15:06.060 --> 01:15:12.440
our faith that he is that thing, not to training ourselves for looking for that as affirmation

1105
01:15:12.440 --> 01:15:17.720
that he is that thing. It's simply looking at those things as an expression as him expressing

1106
01:15:17.720 --> 01:15:23.040
himself to be that. So anyway, and that that's why I included this conversation right here

1107
01:15:23.040 --> 01:15:29.800
is exactly why I included that. That question is because of something to think about in

1108
01:15:29.800 --> 01:15:33.780
the morning and in the evening and the same thing about ourselves. So also if you look

1109
01:15:33.780 --> 01:15:38.160
at yourself and who does God say that I am? And then, and then in the evening, how I saw

1110
01:15:38.160 --> 01:15:43.760
me today is now look at yourself again. I'm going to do a teaching on it. So you'll have

1111
01:15:43.760 --> 01:15:48.580
that, but now looking at your, at yourself from the perspective of, Oh, I have that level

1112
01:15:48.580 --> 01:15:55.120
of authority, not, Oh, he says that he likes me. And he says it because that, that is important

1113
01:15:55.120 --> 01:16:00.160
as well. We'll talk about that. Yeah. That's how it is now. That's how it is now. Yeah.

1114
01:16:00.160 --> 01:16:08.280
I think about like more than that. Like, so anyway, so literally I'm like, Oh yeah. Who

1115
01:16:08.280 --> 01:16:15.560
does he say? Oh, I'm protected and dearly loved. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, which is great.

1116
01:16:15.560 --> 01:16:21.560
As long as we are, is our faith is being stretched in a way that we're didn't used to stretch

1117
01:16:21.560 --> 01:16:26.240
it when we would say those things, then that's great because God's like, you need to choose

1118
01:16:26.240 --> 01:16:30.400
me to do in order to get breakthrough. You're going to choose me in faith to a deeper level

1119
01:16:30.400 --> 01:16:36.200
that I mean that more deeply than what you've been believing that I meant that. So anyway,

1120
01:16:36.200 --> 01:16:45.080
but yeah, that's good. Right. I'm so excited. I'm so, I'm so thankful for this program and

1121
01:16:45.080 --> 01:16:50.200
for you. Yeah. Oh, that's really sweet of you. Me too. And I'm, I'm glad that it's helpful.

1122
01:16:50.200 --> 01:16:54.640
I've just been praying to the Lord. No, please help me with them. And you're just going to

1123
01:16:54.640 --> 01:16:59.120
have to, I said, Lord, I can't do it. I can give, I can encourage everybody, but everyone

1124
01:16:59.120 --> 01:17:04.760
just has to actually just walk their own journey in transformation Lord with you. So we're

1125
01:17:04.760 --> 01:17:09.880
just meet them where they are and do an amazing work, break them through. So anyway. Yeah.

1126
01:17:09.880 --> 01:17:15.000
Oh, it's amazing. All right. Well, I hope that you sleep well. Yeah. Have a great day.

1127
01:17:15.320 --> 01:17:20.440
It looks beautiful where you are. Yeah. I'm, I'm sitting outside cause my husband and I have a

1128
01:17:20.440 --> 01:17:25.080
studio apartment and so he's working. And then also it's, I've been sitting out here doing

1129
01:17:25.080 --> 01:17:29.160
quilting and all kinds of stuff because the weather's so nice. I'm very grateful.

1130
01:17:30.760 --> 01:17:36.280
It's amazing. Well, enjoy. Thank you. I will see you on Thursday. Yes.

1131
01:17:36.280 --> 01:17:38.360
Reach out if you need anything in the meantime.

1132
01:17:40.120 --> 01:17:41.880
Bye.