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Thank you.

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How are you.

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I'm good. I mean, thank you so much for sending everything.

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I'm like, wow, wow.

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No one can accuse me of not being thorough.

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No, or at least not.

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I was like,

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I'll leave it here.

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And then we can talk about it.

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And then you just like went through everything. So in depth,

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I was like, wow, this is amazing.

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Well, I always think if I, if I don't.

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People have kind of gotten onto me about this before.

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Oh, by the way. Hey, Priscilla.

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I've gotten onto me.

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I'm trying to like,

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Protect me from myself.

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And I have a question for you.

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I'm like, just, just answer the question or just like,

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these haven't been like clients of mine or whatever.

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There'd be like, I don't know.

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People are listening to me tell a story or try to explain something or

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whatever.

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Like, okay, well, actually just, just answer their question.

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You don't have to like give them all of this stuff or whatever, or,

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you know, give all these details or whatnot.

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And I'm like, I don't know.

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I feel like I'm not answering their question.

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I feel like I'm not doing it like that.

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I'm actually not giving people enough of the foundation to do anything

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with the answer.

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To be able to understand it or to do anything with it.

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And so I'm like,

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Well, that has been a disservice.

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Then I feel like I'm actually not answering their question.

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So anyway,

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I have nothing about the row and Carrie who is Priscilla's.

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She was always telling me, actually,

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you will always answer.

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I don't know.

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I don't know.

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I don't know.

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Like.

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Anyway, but I always, I also finally realized, you know,

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People that are okay with how I teach.

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Continue to be like.

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Attracted to it. It talks to the programs and like them. So I'm like,

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Apparently these people are fine with it.

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And these people are getting what they need and this is how they need

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to be.

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So that was my biggest.

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I'm not sure.

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Yeah, no.

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It was amazing. It was more like.

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That's above it above and beyond.

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Okay, well, I will.

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It was helpful. Well, I also felt a bit more, I wasn't liking the first.

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I was telling Ed.

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I was not liking the first few sessions that I did.

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Not that are the art Q and A's are, you know,

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like the teaching sessions, like.

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And I don't feel like myself.

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I feel like something's wrong.

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I feel like.

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I feel like.

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I feel like.

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Trying to like explain it in a different way.

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Like to try to be more sustained or to try to include this or to try to

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include that. And basically to be more helpful.

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Then I thought that I was probably being.

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In the past.

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And so I finally realized.

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I don't feel good about it. I don't feel like I'm teaching. Well,

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I just, I don't know what's wrong with me. So I told him, I said.

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So last.

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With it.

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I was going to go out on the Jack and I was going to do my, my.

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That this past teaching.

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And I told him, I said, okay.

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I'm going to go back to myself.

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And be like me and I'm going to teach from that place.

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And then we'll see what happens. We'll see if finally.

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I like the teachings again and that they're okay.

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You know, because I haven't liked the past two or three.

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It's like, okay. So I came back and I.

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I opened the door and I told him.

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I'm back.

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I said, I mean,

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I loved her.

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And I was like, it was an hour and a half.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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100%.

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Oh, good. I'm so glad.

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I was just like, see, Ashley, you don't,

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you're not a problem that needs to be fixed.

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I'd like the others too, though.

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That's very sweet. What a nice, sweet diplomatic way to say it.

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I was not pleased with them.

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In fact, I almost redid the one about like, who.

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Who does God say he is? Cause I finished it. I'm like.

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That didn't get across what I was trying to get across.

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It got across ideas and concepts, but it didn't get across the heart of it.

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And I meant the heart of it. I thought I need to do it all over.

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But by that time, I think I'd already sent it to y'all.

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And I thought y'all already watched it. And I'm like,

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Oh, wow.

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Y'all really took it with me.

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So I'm glad that was helpful and that those additional videos were

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helpful. And the reason I sent those is.

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And the encouragement.

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Well, as you know, mentioned for y'all to ask questions, you know, if things

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weren't making sense or whatever, if I, I was sensing from the Lord, I mean,

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I'm assuming it was from the Lord.

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I was just getting this feeling, just this sense that the way things have been

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going, um, the past like week, week and a half was not enough.

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I was like, no, no, no, no.

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They, I think they need more support and support in a different

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way than, than, um, what I've been doing.

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I think that they, I think that they'd be more helped if I made some changes.

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And, um, and if there was like a personal, more of a personal

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interaction throughout the week and they could just choose to watch

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them, you know, on their own time or whatever, but I thought that might

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help y'all be apply and get stuff in the moment in real time when you need

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as opposed to these almost like, as opposed to how we do church, you go on

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Sunday and then you're on your own for the rest of it to remember

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and to figure out how to apply it.

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And I was like, that hasn't worked.

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And so I thought maybe even though I was trying to create more touch points, I

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didn't, I also haven't wanted this to be overwhelming.

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Um, and, uh, so anyway, I tried the other, so it wouldn't be overwhelming.

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I don't like that just didn't work.

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I'm trying to create a bit more, uh, touch, uh, some touch points and some

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interaction with me throughout the week so that it's hopefully a bit more helpful.

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Um, so anyway, because what it is that we talk about are stuff that y'all

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struggle with, meaning like all y'all is in all of us, like including myself.

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And that's how I know this all day long.

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Like, well, this came up and then this came up and then this came up, you know,

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we, we have this choice.

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50, a hundred, a thousand times a day, whatever it is.

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And especially when you're trying to learn something new, it's, it's, um,

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it's just helpful to have the reminder.

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I will be by myself and would just have to remind myself in one of the way that

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I did it and whether it worked for me.

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So I'm mentioning this to y'all in case it's helpful for y'all is I had to.

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Basically infuse my whole life with this new belief, this new,

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that this almost like make, make the make, who does God say that he is?

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And who does he say that I am my new theme in life?

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Like that was the overarching thing.

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It wasn't an addition to my life.

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I had to make it the filter through which I experienced every single

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detail of my life every day.

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Um, and that's what changed everything for me.

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It wasn't because it can't be understood as this concept that I've compartmentalized

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and I'm trying to learn apart from trying to keep all of this together, all the

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rest of my life, you know, the grocery shopping and the, you know, the data,

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the relationship with so-and-so and it had to be the way through which I

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interacted with, it had to be basically the new me through which I interacted

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with and determined and, um, engaged with the rest of the details of my life.

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Um, and that's when everything changed because again, I'm changing who I am.

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And therefore it was going to change how I live, how I experience life.

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Um, So I just say that as an encouragement to y'all, then that will help you

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tremendously to get breakthrough in a short amount of time.

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It's very intense because it's a new way of engaging with every single detail of

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your life, but you'll get it.

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You'll get the breakthrough a lot faster.

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It's like ripping off the bandaid.

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Um, and I've not, I've done it, not just with the first big area of my life.

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I've done it with multiple areas of my life.

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When I need that kind of like a breakthrough is I just very, um, I

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treat it in a very intense way.

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Um, like that.

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It's like, like I said, it's the filter through which I see everything.

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And, um, the theme that I make my, my life, not like this new thing

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that I'm learning over here.

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I'm trying to keep all of these activities and I have this new activity.

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No, this is my first choice between me and God.

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This is who, how I'm trying to adjust.

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And I'm going to, and I'm going to be that and act like that and bring

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that into this aspect of life.

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And then when I go to the grocery store and when I'm getting into my car and

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when I'm driving down the road and when I come back and I'm unloading the

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groceries, when I'm taking a shower, when I'm whatever, and, um, it's

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basically a new me that's trying to interact in life and then that's

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what changed everything.

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It's hard.

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It's intense.

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Uh, but I promise you, it's, it's just that powerful because we're making

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a willful choice and in God's faith and, and just doing that God will

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do then make everything change.

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We're not making anything change.

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We're just making the choice and then God we're making the choice to allow

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God to come in and to change everything.

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Um, but it's risky, it's vulnerable, et cetera.

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Anyway, so, uh, can I just ask something?

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Cause I think, cause, cause I get that, like, um, Think like make the decision.

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in, and then, and then let go. And then I'm just like, still

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struggling, like practically, because I think I'm doing it.

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But clearly, I'm not doing it because they like, I, I know,

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I'm not doing it. But I'm like, I don't know how to so I loved

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the example you had about like, sitting with God, just like

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you're sitting with friends at Christmas, and just like just

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being. And I was like, Oh, my goodness, that is so practical.

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I can do that. Like, but then I was like, is that? Because then

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I'm like, how do I put that down in? Like, if it's like, who does

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God say that he is? And who does he say that I am? Because that's

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when I was like, sitting and getting those things.

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Okay, I'm sorry. I'm not an I'm not understanding. That's when

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you were sitting and getting what?

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So in the journal, we have that, like, who does God say he is?

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And who does he say I am? And how will I choose to live? So

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when I was sitting with the journal, that's when I was like,

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God, who do you say you are? And that's when I could like hear

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him speak. Oh, okay. And then. And then I really loved your

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example about no, just sit with God. And just be like you would

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be at Christmas. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I'm definitely gonna

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do that. You know, I really love that.

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We're talking Okay, so we're talking about two different

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things. I was talking about the practice. You know, where's the

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my practice thing, which is separate from the journal in

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that I was saying, you know, yeah, something to do to

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practice is the practice experiencing the truth that is

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sitting with the truth. And that that is the your existence, that

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you're currently existing in the fact that God is like that, like

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he says the is to the degree he says he is that and that I am

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who he says that I am to the degree I am to the degree he

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says I'm that. And just sitting with that, sitting with that,

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choosing that that's the reality in which you're currently

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existing in that moment in that chair in that wherever it is

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that you are, instead of trying to try instead of trying to

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learn something about God, instead of trying to solve a

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problem instead of trying to do better, instead of trying to be

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better, instead of trying to break through, instead of trying

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to do anything like that. So I was talking about the practice.

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Yeah, it's separate from like the journal part of like, okay,

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what's a willful, intentional decision I'm making? The reason

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why they're a bit different is that experience that I mentioned,

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there's a manner in which Okay, well, let me explain it this

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way. You're feeling more than thinking. So you're experiencing

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more, that's all about experiencing a moment, instead

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of thinking through a moment, or understanding a moment is

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understanding something new. It's like your spirit knows

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things, but you don't know in English or in Norwegian. What do

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y'all speak in Norway? Norwegian? Yeah, Norwegian. Okay, I wasn't

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sure if it's Norwegian or some other or a different word for

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y'all's language. But you know, in English or Norwegian, you're

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not thinking through much in your head, you're just enjoying

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the experience of it, the feeling of the atmosphere. And

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the atmosphere is determined by just like at Christmas, where

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you're sitting there with the fire and the coziness of the of

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the atmosphere. You're watching everyone, but you're not talking

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right now. Because at the moment, at that moment, you

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know, there's so many people, you know, so many family members,

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that you don't have anyone you have to talk to right now, you're

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just enjoying watching and listening to multiple

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conversations go on, you're just enjoying the atmosphere. That's

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what I'm saying is that you and God aren't necessarily having a

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conversation in that time, you're just sitting and enjoying

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the app, the the peace, the centeredness, and the

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atmosphere. And honestly, the more that got, well, let me

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explain that in a minute, because I don't want to, I don't

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want to confuse what I'm saying, the, the atmosphere that you are

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in, in God being that amazing, that good, that, that, that

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dependable, and that you are all of those things that he says

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that you are the in that you're that you're a king, and that

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you're a son, and that you have a purpose, you've got, you've

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got something he's planned for you to be and you're you being

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here. And knowing that you're his son, you're doing it, you're

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already doing that. You're ruling by choosing that you are

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who God says that you are, and everything else will see that

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you finally know who you are, and they'll all now respond

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accordingly, even though you're not even interacting with them.

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Just, which is really wild how that works. But it's just kind

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of like the spirit emanating. And you're just sitting and

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enjoying that experience. But you and God aren't like talking

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just like in that Christmas picture. You're talking with

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anyone else.

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you're enjoying the coziness of the atmosphere that's created, but you're not even psychologically

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thinking about this is really cozy. And this is really special. You don't have words that are

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going on in your head. You're just sitting in the warmth and the coziness of how you're feeling

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inside because of an experience that you are having in that atmosphere. That's what I'm saying

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with this other is that, and here's why it's so important is if it's just an experience,

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that's one thing. Here's why it's so important. Two things. One, you experiencing God is what's

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going to heal you. And also it's not what we learn about God and what we understand about God,

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what we finally know how to articulate about God that won't heal us. What heals us is in our

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encountering God and experiencing him, experiencing his spirit. So that puts you in a position to be

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able to do that. And even when you cut off the other side and you feel healed in some way,

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you feel rejuvenated and strengthened in some way. You feel refreshed in some way.

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You may not be able to explain it in a language in English, Norwegian, whatever you can't,

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you don't even know really what happened, but just the fact that it happened, just the fact that

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you're healed is enough. And you don't care that you can't explain it. You're just grateful that

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it happened, you know? So it's there's, there's a healing and an experience, but also what it does

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is it will reveal things. Uh, well, okay. Then I thought of another one. It will teach us that

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we're safe with God because it'll look, we'll experience being in his presence where it feels

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good. And we're not always being corrected. We'll stop associating the presence of God with the pain

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of not being enough. And we'll now experience, Oh, this is actually pleasant. This is healing.

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This is life giving. I feel like I'm getting more life being with him instead of feeling more

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snuffed out because I now realizing all the things that I did wrong and how I need to correct it or

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how to mature and be more and whatever. So that's the, that's the second thing. And then the third

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thing is you will learn, you will learn things about him because you're simply exposed to more

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about him, but you won't even be able to explain in a language what it is you just learned about

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him, but your spirit and your soul shifted because you finally discovered something else

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about God. You didn't know, you can't explain it to somebody else. You don't know what it is.

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You just learned about God, but whatever it was, you learned enough about God that it made you more

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God, like opened up an aspect of himself and showed you more of him. So she, Hey, by the way,

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did you know I'm like this? Oh my word. I didn't know God was like that, but you don't know what

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God, you can't tell yourself what God just showed you that he's like, you don't have an English word

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for it. You don't, well, he just showed me he was good. Or he just showed me, he was like,

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you won't have a word for what he just showed you, but your spirit and your soul will now

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have access to a deeper part of God that you experienced that he entrusted you with that,

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you know, and you feel, you feel closer to him because you shut off your brain and you just

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allowed yourself to experience it. So anyway, that's why I said that this, that I recommend,

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that's why I recommended this exercise, even though it sounds really simple,

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it's very powerful for all three of those reasons. And there's probably more reasons that I could

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think if I could stop and think about them, but, and then to do that for yourself as well,

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for you to basically be. The God that you're sitting with. I don't mean that you make yourself

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God. That's not what I mean, but just like you were sitting there with God and you're like,

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okay, God, I'm, I'm believing you are who you say you are and that I am who you say I am.

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How, so when I'm sitting experience, what do I experience or what do I, what do I see?

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How do I see you experiencing me? Do you like me? Do you accept me? All of that stuff.

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Then do be that for you, be the parent to your inner child, you know, that fully loves and

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accepts you for being just as you are without requiring yourself to change. So instead of

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the tendency that we have is to turn against ourselves, to turn on ourselves, to betray

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ourselves, to think that we're not good enough to question ourselves, to doubt ourselves or

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whatever. So we're also been learning in that second exercise I mentioned, sitting with yourself,

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truly being who it is that God says that you are. And then enjoying that and accepting yourself to

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be that new person. There's a way similar to the, to Adam, identifying the animals that you're

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identifying yourself. You're declaring something over you that God has already created and said

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that you were, and now you are agreeing with him by also saying that you are who that, who he said

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that you were by sitting with yourself, fully receiving yourself as that person. I hope that

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wasn't too deep. That's, that's what I was trying to say with those two practices. Yeah. Is that

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helpful at all or not? Or is there any aspect?

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Yeah, no, no, it's it's perfect. Yeah, I think that's very

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practical and something that I can, can definitely do. And then

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I just think I there were like two other things I was wondering

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about. And the one was like, how do I journal like, but I think

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the most important thing is like what you were talking about

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before the whole like, making a decision and then letting go.

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And like, do you do that in every single aspect? Like, is

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there a practical way like this that you do it? Because I'm, I'm

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still trying to be like, I feel like I'm choosing it. And you

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were explaining so many great things. So I'll be listening to

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that over and over again, because I'm like, Oh, that was

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so good. And you really went through every every single

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thing. But I sometimes I don't know if there's another

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practical way, or if it's just one of those, you need to like

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listen to it again to like, then all of a sudden you just get it,

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you know what I mean?

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And what do you mean? Is there a practical way to do what?

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When you say like, Oh, you just, I think there's something in me

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that's just not fully still getting the whole like, making

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the will, like making the decision that changes

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everything, you know, and I know it has to do with like, letting

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go and stuff. But I'm just like, I feel like I'm making that

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decision. But I'm, I'm, I'm clearly not.

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Okay, when you make a decision, okay, when you make a decision,

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for one thing, you'll, you'll feel you'll feel a few things

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for one thing, you'll it'll feel aligned to you because it'll be

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your spirit will feel like something about this feels

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right before aligned, but it'll also feel and well, you'll also

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feel powerful. And by powerful understand, it's almost like you

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feel a strength coming into you. We're not talking about powerful

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like you're you feel like you're all big and bad and prideful

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that that has a very negative weighty feeling. We're not

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talking about that. If you feel a negative weighty feeling and

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that would trust me all of you follow the Lord closely enough,

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you will feel that. So if you don't feel that negatively

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feeling your vibe, okay. So we all know what that pride feels

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like. And you're just choosing that this that if God says that

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thing, this thing about you that it's not only is it true, but

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that you're safe, choosing it to, and that it's not prideful,

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that it's not whatever that it's not scary, that it's not that

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it's not being bigger than your britches, you know, or anything

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like that you really it's because God says so, but you're

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having to risk and risk that. Well, what if Lord, I, I really

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don't feel that strong, you say that I'm up there, but I don't

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feel like I can handle being up there, whatever. And if God says

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that you're there, you're like, okay, then Lord, I'm going to

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risk putting myself in that position, even though it feels

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really high, it feels higher than I'm used to standing or

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whatever. But if you actually choose it in faith, in other

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words, you make a willful, intentional decision that it's

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true, you will feel you'll feel the power and the strength rise

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up in you. And, and you'll, there's something else I was

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going to say that you feel is the big one.

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Yeah, I feel it's probably the letting go thing. Is that what

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you Oh, I know. Oh, no, it was one more example that I was

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going to give about maybe how like, like how you're already

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doing it in life. And you need to understand. That's how you do

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it in the spirit as well. Like, say, for instance, when you

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decide what you're going to eat, and where and we're not

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talking about a place where you feel you feel pressure. So don't

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imagine some situation in which you feel pressure either by the

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menu, by the fact that the waiters stand there saying

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there, you're like, Oh, my goodness, I feel pressure to

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hurry make a decision. Or the fact that your friends there and

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you don't know what they're gonna think about you. Think of

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some situation in which you feel fully empowered to make your own

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decision and you and you feel powerful when you've made it.

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Like this is what I'm choosing to do. I'm deciding to eat this,

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I'm deciding to do that. And there's no outside, you don't

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feel pressured by any other outside influence. That kind of

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feeling of like, no, I'm going to do this, because that's what

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I decide or similar to here's how you get here's another

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thing. If whenever you have kids with you, you have a kid with

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you. And they want to do something like I don't know if

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maybe you have nieces and nephews, but they want to do

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something and you maybe you're babysitting them and you you're

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the one deciding or no, I want to eat the cookies. I'm sorry,

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sweetheart, you can't have the cookies. You know, you are very

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aware in that moment that not only can they not eat the

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cookies, you made the decision for them. No, that's not right.

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While also knowing you as an adult, you can grab one right

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now if you want to.

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That feeling and that empowerment of I can, if I want to, and sometimes she might sneak it when

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they walk off or you might not do it, but you know, you could that feeling of I am in complete

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control and I'm deciding what I will and will not eat in this moment. That's that authority

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of owning your decision. That is what has to make the decision and the choice that God is.

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So he says that he is basically it's like having that cookie and deciding, am I going to do? I

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choose that. This will be part of my life or do I not? No one's forcing you. No one's even trying

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to emotionally manipulate you. God's not trying to, isn't there trying to emotionally manipulate

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you to grab him? He's just offering something. And so you have to powerfully decide, is that

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something I choose for me or is it something I'm not going to choose? It's your decision.

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So I think that's a powerful point to point out. You're not being emotionally manipulated by God.

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You're not being emotionally obligated by God to do anything. He does all of the work for you

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anyway. So there's nothing for him to emotionally obligate you to because he won't allow you to do

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anything. In fact, you want to do stuff for him and he won't let you. He's like, no, if you're

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going to do stuff, well then to earn stuff, then the only thing I can give you is something in

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this world because that's the only thing that can be earned. Anything that you work for,

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that you try to get of the kingdom, I can't give you because nothing in the kingdom can be earned.

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So if you, if you make any progress towards it yourself, you don't get it. I can only give it

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to you if you don't make any progress towards it. Meaning like if you don't do anything for it or

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whatever. So there's literally no emotional manipulation by the Lord. There's literally

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no obligation. We're not even obligated to love him. He invites us to love him. Why? Because

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not only does he love us, but he's like, hey, it's in your DNA to love me. So I invite you to be you.

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And when you're you, to love me. And there's no manipulation in that. There's no obligation.

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He's just like, hey, I just want to let you know who you are. And if you act like yourself,

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then you'll be free. And so anyway, so the thing is, everything that we do is because

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we do it out of our willful, intentional decision that that's what we choose.

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It's your will operating just to get the idea across. It's your will operating

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completely separate from God. What do you decide regardless of what God decides?

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So, but how to, but, but here's why that's safe. And it's not bad. It's because God always has to

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make the first move. We don't, what's quote unquote bad is when we decide of our own free

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will, we want to do something that God has not initiated first. That's a problem. That is a

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man sourced exertion of our will. And God's like, no, no, no. I want you. I will give you an idea

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first. I will declare truth about me that I want you to believe or act on or to receive or whatever

447
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or benefit or whatnot. And this is what I say is true. This is what I want for you. This is what I

448
00:28:20.560 --> 00:28:27.040
created to be provided to you. Here you go. Now, do you want it or not? So he puts it down,

449
00:28:27.040 --> 00:28:32.720
backs off. And now it's completely our choice. We don't get to benefit from that thing unless we

450
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:40.080
reach out and grab it ourselves. What we keep doing is we keep thinking God's going to like

451
00:28:40.080 --> 00:28:47.360
open our mouth and screw the top and like force feed us. And he doesn't. He's like, no, you want

452
00:28:47.360 --> 00:28:52.640
it. I'll, I'll give you the idea first. I'll create it and make it possible. I'll put it into

453
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:58.240
existence. But now you have to decide, are you going to come into agreement with me? When I say

454
00:28:58.240 --> 00:29:01.840
that I'm giving this to you and I want you to experience it, are you going to choose to

455
00:29:01.840 --> 00:29:08.080
experience it? Or are you going to leave it there and choose not to experience it? So that's, that

456
00:29:08.080 --> 00:29:14.240
is a healthy way for us to operate within our will that God gave us to make a choice for or not make

457
00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:20.720
a choice for something. But, um, God always just wants us to make the choice for what he said,

458
00:29:21.360 --> 00:29:26.800
not for something that we decide or something that he said no to, or that he didn't even create,

459
00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:32.960
but we wish were possible. You know, we're not talking about that. So it's not, it's not a, it's

460
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:41.040
not a bad or, um, a thing for us to do. And that's not us thinking that we're more as powerful as

461
00:29:41.040 --> 00:29:49.040
God. It's literally, God didn't want us to love him unless it was our choice. He didn't want to

462
00:29:49.040 --> 00:29:53.760
make us love him. So it has to be our, so we have to choose. And it's the same thing with every other

463
00:29:53.760 --> 00:29:58.400
aspect of our benefit of any benefit that we receive from the Lord. He's like, I won't force

464
00:29:58.400 --> 00:29:59.840
it on you, but I will.

465
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.880
make it available. I will create, I will come up with the idea. I will make it possible. And then

466
00:30:04.880 --> 00:30:10.960
I will put it down. I'll invite you to it. Now you have to make a decision. And here's the hard

467
00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:14.800
part about it is if we pick it up and bring it into our life, and it changes our life,

468
00:30:15.760 --> 00:30:21.600
we know that that's a huge risk. Because if it doesn't go the way that we want,

469
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:28.960
we're responsible. And we don't want to be responsible. We want if something bad happens,

470
00:30:28.960 --> 00:30:33.120
or in other words, something happens that we don't want to happen, we want it to have been,

471
00:30:33.120 --> 00:30:39.680
well, God, God forced it on me. And then we can blame someone other than ourselves. You know,

472
00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:44.960
God, why did you do that? Because I didn't force that on you. You chose it, you know.

473
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:50.880
And I'm sorry. So what were you saying, Priscilla? How much much realizing how much I want to blame

474
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:57.360
God for my decisions? Okay. Yeah, we and we do that because we can't. And here's, here's why.

475
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:04.400
What is what's wrong with us handling our own the weight of our own decisions? We think God is

476
00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:08.960
holding us accountable for how those decisions affect our lives, so to speak. Like, in other

477
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:15.040
words, that God is holding us responsible for the outcome of stuff. So if we put if he put something

478
00:31:15.040 --> 00:31:20.480
here, you know, he invites us to something and we're like, Okay, but what if I don't like how

479
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:25.360
that thing creates an if the out, but if I don't like the outcome that it creates in my life?

480
00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:32.720
Well, if I take it, then, then I can't blame God for it. And I'm going to be blamed for it. And

481
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:37.520
what does that mean? It means I'm bad. It means that it is what we tell ourselves. It means that

482
00:31:37.520 --> 00:31:41.360
I'm bad. It means that God's not going to connect with me that God's going to correct me that I'm

483
00:31:41.360 --> 00:31:47.680
going to have to go through a really hard time. And it's all because I made the decision. And

484
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:55.280
we just feel the weight of the responsibility of how things turn out. And God's just like, Oh,

485
00:31:55.840 --> 00:32:00.160
give the weight of inner responsibility of how things turn out and give that to me.

486
00:32:00.800 --> 00:32:06.400
So if we're now free of the weight and the responsibility and being held accountable,

487
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:12.720
they got by God for how it turns out, God has taken all the risk. There's now no risk

488
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:17.360
in taking this because God said he's going to hold himself responsible for the outcome.

489
00:32:17.360 --> 00:32:24.160
Not us. Um, if that, if that helps at all, but the reason why we haven't is we keep thinking

490
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:30.160
that there's something, um, that it says something bad about us. If, uh, how would I put it?

491
00:32:31.120 --> 00:32:38.160
That the outcomes that were defined by the app by outcomes were defined by an identified by,

492
00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:45.760
and our relationship is dependent on what happens to us, what happens around us, how people interact

493
00:32:45.760 --> 00:32:50.880
with this, what happens as a result of how we prepared dinner, you know, well, did it turn out

494
00:32:50.880 --> 00:32:55.840
or not, you know, you know, or, or I don't know, whatever, or my relationship with, with a friend

495
00:32:55.840 --> 00:32:59.920
and how the confrontation went or how I handled myself on the confrontation or, you know, just

496
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:06.000
whatever that, that I, that it's saying something about me. And when we learn to separate our

497
00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:14.880
identity from what we do and our identity from what happens based on what we do, it makes us a

498
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:22.160
lot freer to try to make mistakes. Um, it will not that we're trying to make mistakes, but that

499
00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:27.600
to try, because we're no longer threatened by mistakes. We're no longer threatened. If we don't

500
00:33:27.600 --> 00:33:34.560
get it, if, if the outcome that we wanted isn't the outcome that happened, or if, um, you know,

501
00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:40.000
or if I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought. There was a way I was going to explain that

502
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:45.520
related to the Lord. But anyway, there's reasons why we've, we prefer to not blame ourselves. And

503
00:33:45.520 --> 00:33:51.040
we prefer to blame God because we're too overwhelmed with the weight of what blaming

504
00:33:51.040 --> 00:33:58.320
our, of, uh, what it means. If something goes quote unquote wrong, it means I'm bad. It means

505
00:33:58.320 --> 00:34:02.880
I'm going to go through the pain and the punishment of being corrected by God, because we just put,

506
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:07.360
we assume correction by God to be pain and punishment. We're like, I'm trying to do

507
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:13.040
whatever I can to avoid that as opposed to understanding. Well, what if our, our growth

508
00:34:13.040 --> 00:34:23.040
in the Lord isn't based on, isn't, um, constant correction, pain and punishment. But if that's not

509
00:34:23.040 --> 00:34:27.679
our interaction with the Lord, I sure he corrects us, but there's no pain and punishment associated

510
00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:35.840
with it. Well, if that's true, well, then Hey, we can be, it just opens up a, um, uh, opens up

511
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:44.000
a freedom to, like I said, try new things because he gives me a safe place in which to learn. Um,

512
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:50.800
and he doesn't, and he doesn't stop talking to me just because, um, based off of the outcomes that

513
00:34:50.800 --> 00:34:56.480
I get, um, and, uh, you know, I don't know, et cetera. So hopefully that's helpful.

514
00:34:57.760 --> 00:34:59.760
So, um, so I.

515
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.280
I'm just trying to understand so you know, I have my list that

516
00:35:02.280 --> 00:35:05.680
I've been going through. So it's like, okay, so in my mind, I

517
00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:09.880
believe my breakthrough would look like being my ideal weight,

518
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:13.960
having a job that I love, that I can choose my own, you know,

519
00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:17.680
time, meeting the man of my dreams. And you know, winning

520
00:35:17.680 --> 00:35:21.480
the court case, you know, like, perfect, check all breakthrough.

521
00:35:21.520 --> 00:35:26.160
Amazing. My life is great. But then what I'm hearing so but

522
00:35:26.160 --> 00:35:29.920
what I need to think is like, I need to give all of that and

523
00:35:29.920 --> 00:35:33.440
just be like, God, I'm just going to give you all of like,

524
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:38.960
whatever the outcome. So if I end up gaining even more weight

525
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:42.000
and staying single for the rest of my life and being in a job I

526
00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:44.480
don't like and everything, you know what I mean? Like, I'm

527
00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:51.840
just, that's very on either sides, but it's like, the

528
00:35:51.840 --> 00:35:54.560
breakthrough doesn't necessarily like the breakthrough

529
00:35:54.560 --> 00:35:57.920
isn't necessarily in what I'm thinking, but I need to like,

530
00:35:58.480 --> 00:36:01.880
let it go, right? And just choose God above all of

531
00:36:01.880 --> 00:36:04.000
whatever outcome is that?

532
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.560
Yeah, the breakthrough isn't how God manifests himself into our

533
00:36:09.560 --> 00:36:15.200
life. The breakthrough is in is in God being who he who he

534
00:36:15.200 --> 00:36:19.720
really is in our life. And then whatever happens happens. Does

535
00:36:19.720 --> 00:36:22.640
that make sense? So what again, what we're having faith in when

536
00:36:22.640 --> 00:36:25.840
God tells us to have faith in himself, it faith in him is that

537
00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:28.920
God is who he says that he is not that he will do what he says

538
00:36:28.920 --> 00:36:33.000
he will do. We have to have faith that he is who he says

539
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:37.160
that he is. So he can do that however he wants. He can be that

540
00:36:37.160 --> 00:36:40.880
however he wants. We just choose that he is that and that that's

541
00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:43.680
who he's going and we just ask the Lord that you be that into

542
00:36:43.680 --> 00:36:47.720
my life regardless of what that makes my life look like. And so

543
00:36:47.720 --> 00:36:50.720
that's the breakthrough. Otherwise, it's like Lord, if I

544
00:36:50.720 --> 00:36:54.000
get breakthrough in these areas, then I'll know you love me, then

545
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:56.720
I'll know you're trustworthy, then I'll know that and God's

546
00:36:56.720 --> 00:36:59.640
like, No, the only way that you'll know it is if you choose

547
00:36:59.640 --> 00:37:04.280
me over these things. And, and what he wants, and that can be

548
00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:07.880
very, very hard, especially because what we always expect

549
00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:11.600
from God is the hard road, the painful road, the answer that we

550
00:37:11.600 --> 00:37:16.000
don't want the outcome that we don't want. And he wants and so

551
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:18.920
again, we can hear in there the accuser, the underlying

552
00:37:18.920 --> 00:37:22.520
accusation that we have against the Lord that God, I assume that

553
00:37:22.520 --> 00:37:24.960
you're guilty, and I'm asking that you prove yourself

554
00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:28.200
innocent, because and so what we have, and so that's what it

555
00:37:28.200 --> 00:37:31.280
shows us, we're like, Okay, God, instead of I'm going to

556
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:34.480
recklessly choose you, because that's what it feels like, it

557
00:37:34.480 --> 00:37:37.240
feels like we're letting go of all of the most important things

558
00:37:37.240 --> 00:37:40.960
in our life, you know, the things that emotionally, we're

559
00:37:40.960 --> 00:37:48.040
so, we're so anchored in attached to connected to. And,

560
00:37:48.240 --> 00:37:52.200
and that if we don't hold on to them, God's not going to treat

561
00:37:52.200 --> 00:37:56.520
them as valuable, and we're not going to get them. And so what

562
00:37:56.520 --> 00:37:59.440
God wants to do is because he knows the real deep desires of

563
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:02.040
our hearts, and the real deep desires of our hearts are not

564
00:38:02.040 --> 00:38:06.560
even how life turns out. It's who he is, and him being that

565
00:38:06.560 --> 00:38:10.680
thing into our life, what would that make my life look like? If

566
00:38:10.680 --> 00:38:13.960
God really were as good as he says that he is, what would that

567
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:19.160
make my life look like? Not God, I want you to do this. You know,

568
00:38:19.200 --> 00:38:24.000
we honestly have a very limited view of what's possible. So

569
00:38:24.120 --> 00:38:27.240
anyway, it I'm fully aware of how hard that is, because not

570
00:38:27.240 --> 00:38:30.080
only have I done it many, many, many times, I continue to have

571
00:38:30.080 --> 00:38:33.520
to do it, it really is that hard. And that's why I use the

572
00:38:33.520 --> 00:38:36.080
phrase reckless abandon, because it doesn't feel like you're

573
00:38:36.080 --> 00:38:39.680
just abandoning yourself to the Lord, it feels reckless, it

574
00:38:39.680 --> 00:38:42.800
doesn't feel responsible, it doesn't feel emotionally

575
00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:47.720
responsible, you feel like you are setting yourself up for

576
00:38:47.720 --> 00:38:51.080
disappointment. You're intentionally setting yourself

577
00:38:51.080 --> 00:38:54.440
up for disappointment is what it feels like. And what we have to

578
00:38:54.440 --> 00:39:02.200
choose is that God, I'm choosing that you are more important to

579
00:39:02.200 --> 00:39:06.280
me, not that I wish that you were not that I know you should

580
00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:09.400
be not that I hope you're going to be not that I hope that I

581
00:39:09.400 --> 00:39:13.080
can change so that you'll be no God, I am willfully making a

582
00:39:13.080 --> 00:39:19.840
choice. I am choosing you and abandoning this. I'm actually

583
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:22.400
abandoning it. And I've talked about this before, not in this

584
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.800
program, but in the other one, that it will feel like you are

585
00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:30.600
abandoning your baby. It's this precious thing that you are

586
00:39:30.600 --> 00:39:33.520
putting on the altar. And you're like, God, I don't know that I

587
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:36.960
can entrust you to take care of this thing. Because you're

588
00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:39.560
you're thinking like, like Abraham did with Isaac, he

589
00:39:39.560 --> 00:39:47.920
might kill it. And, in fact, Abraham went so far as to raise

590
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:51.320
the knife, you know, over, over Isaac's head to kill it

591
00:39:51.320 --> 00:39:56.560
himself. Because God says you, it has to be that much of an

592
00:39:56.560 --> 00:40:00.120
abandonment where you let go to the point you can't ever grab

593
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.320
it back. And what we'll sometimes do is we'll try to give it a lot to the Lord, but we'll have

594
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:11.840
like a pinky hold on it, you know, or something. And he says, no, you have to let it go. It's like

595
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:16.400
we want some kind of a connection to it, because even if we're touching it, we're close enough

596
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:20.800
where we can grab it, you know, at the last minute, if we decide to, he's like, no, make it

597
00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:26.240
so that you can't emotionally grab ahold of it again, you'd have to create a new connection,

598
00:40:26.880 --> 00:40:33.040
as opposed to simply strengthening one you've tried to weaken, you know, I'm trying to weaken

599
00:40:33.040 --> 00:40:36.400
the connection, I'm trying to weaken the connection, but you still got a little connection

600
00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:39.600
that you could strengthen it again, if you need to, at the last minute, he's like, no,

601
00:40:39.600 --> 00:40:43.040
I need you to completely separate so that in order to be reconnected to that thing,

602
00:40:43.040 --> 00:40:47.440
you have to start all over. We're talking about burning a bridge kind of a thing,

603
00:40:47.440 --> 00:40:52.800
you have to emotionally burn the bridge and submit it to the Lord. And what you're doing

604
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:57.600
is you're choosing that Lord that thing that it was in my life, I'm choosing that you're that

605
00:40:57.600 --> 00:41:04.640
thing in my life that you're that you're going to be in that place. And that I was using this

606
00:41:04.640 --> 00:41:09.440
as my security blanket, I'm now using you being who it is that you are as my security blanket,

607
00:41:09.440 --> 00:41:14.480
not that you will do a particular thing for me, Lord, or even act a particular way,

608
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:19.200
but that you will be who you are. And I'm choosing that as my security blanket that no matter how it

609
00:41:19.200 --> 00:41:26.320
turns out, that my security will be the fact that you just always are you, and you're always

610
00:41:26.320 --> 00:41:32.960
that in my life, not that you always do the things I want you to do. That's a huge, huge

611
00:41:32.960 --> 00:41:40.400
difference. It's very hard. It's very hard. But that's ultimately what has to come down to. So

612
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:43.520
and then what I would recommend as well, and I'm just mentioning this just because

613
00:41:44.240 --> 00:41:49.600
I thought of it early when you were talking earlier about like a as a journal, when you do

614
00:41:49.600 --> 00:42:00.080
the journal and recommend that you don't tackle all of them every day. But you just pick I mean,

615
00:42:00.080 --> 00:42:04.320
sort of you can do it like when they come up. Sure. But like in your journal, if you're like,

616
00:42:04.320 --> 00:42:11.120
you know, I do this by choosing, you know, to live by doing the just, I recommend just picking

617
00:42:11.120 --> 00:42:15.680
one to kind of like highlight that day, like, oh, the court case, something specific about the

618
00:42:15.680 --> 00:42:20.320
court case, something specific about or something specific about, you know, your job or something.

619
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:27.200
I don't know, just whatever, just you feel the most that the heaviest that day,

620
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:32.080
that you feel the most like, entangled by that you just feel the most focus on, you know,

621
00:42:32.080 --> 00:42:40.240
spiritual focus on or whatever. And because the point isn't necessarily to choose to give those

622
00:42:40.240 --> 00:42:47.920
things up to the Lord. The point is actually just choosing him. If you choose him as first,

623
00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:54.880
you will naturally let go of all of these. The reason I talk about letting go in order so much

624
00:42:54.880 --> 00:42:59.040
is because that's where our focus is. So I'm like, okay, if you're already focused on it,

625
00:42:59.040 --> 00:43:03.840
this is how you can let go because you're paying attention to it. But honestly, the faster,

626
00:43:03.840 --> 00:43:08.960
easier way is to stop looking at it and then to choose that he's more powerful,

627
00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:14.960
these things will naturally not be as important because you made a choice. All of them will go

628
00:43:14.960 --> 00:43:19.840
away. So to speak at once, they'll all, they'll all be abandoned at once by default, because you

629
00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:24.800
can only, you can't serve God and man. And you can only have one master. So if you've chosen this one,

630
00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:30.880
you've automatically let go of these. If you're having a hard time grabbing a hold of him,

631
00:43:30.880 --> 00:43:35.520
because you're holding onto these, you can do those let go tools that I recommended, you know,

632
00:43:35.520 --> 00:43:39.280
in the rest intensity, you can go back and watch that. And that can, and you can like,

633
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.080
try to let go of something in a moment, just to the degree that you can, you don't have to

634
00:43:44.080 --> 00:43:50.800
let go of all of it every single moment, just to what degree that you can. Every time you do that,

635
00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:55.840
you're getting, you're making progress. God is pleased that you've chosen him to the degree

636
00:43:55.840 --> 00:44:01.040
that you have, as opposed to, yeah, but you didn't do it all the way. We still have more work to go.

637
00:44:01.680 --> 00:44:06.960
That's how we look at it in, in the world. So we think that's how God looks at it. And it's not,

638
00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:12.240
it's the opposite. He's pleased that you chosen to the degree that you did. And to it.

639
00:44:13.040 --> 00:44:21.280
So it's kind of like, oh, I want to. So today, when I want to go eat candy, because I want

640
00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:26.560
comfort, I'm going to be like, No, I'm going to choose you to be my comfort, even if it's like,

641
00:44:26.560 --> 00:44:32.080
ah, you know, kind of like that. Would that be one practical thing or no?

642
00:44:33.600 --> 00:44:40.560
Uh, yeah, sort of. There's only been some times that that's actually worked for me to do it like

643
00:44:40.560 --> 00:44:45.760
that to have something, especially with food, because I struggled with food, to have food,

644
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:50.160
and then to have something like that, where I was trying to get comfort from that. And just

645
00:44:50.160 --> 00:44:57.360
to be able to shift it into something ethereal, like being, you know, an esoterical conceptual,

646
00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:59.760
like, oh, just being comforted by God, I couldn't make.

647
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.540
The jump, it was too big of a gap, you know, because there's a reason why I was

648
00:45:04.540 --> 00:45:06.860
going to candy, which can't comfort me.

649
00:45:07.660 --> 00:45:08.540
I mean, it really doesn't.

650
00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:15.540
So it was so it's so base of a thing that that's that the reason I'm going to that

651
00:45:15.540 --> 00:45:18.000
and not something else that comforts me, because there's a lot of things that

652
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:24.680
comfort us is because we had that little strength that we were going to something

653
00:45:24.680 --> 00:45:26.600
that base it, does that make sense?

654
00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:31.640
Meaning like, because, because candy can't like comfort you, it's an escape.

655
00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:33.720
It's what it is.

656
00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:36.520
It's a, it's a suspension of reality for a moment.

657
00:45:36.520 --> 00:45:39.960
It's like a minimum suspension and many suspension of reality.

658
00:45:40.240 --> 00:45:42.000
That's why I keep calling it something like base.

659
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:44.640
It's like, it can't even emotionally comfort us.

660
00:45:44.700 --> 00:45:48.280
It's just suspending us from free at, from reality for a while.

661
00:45:48.680 --> 00:45:53.120
And so that's why I'm like, it doesn't, it's not even connecting with our comfort,

662
00:45:53.720 --> 00:45:55.720
but we're using it to do that.

663
00:45:56.040 --> 00:45:59.920
I mean, it's like we're struggling in our need for comfort that much.

664
00:46:00.360 --> 00:46:04.400
So shifting into something, a theory of like, I'm just going to do that.

665
00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:05.040
You comfort me.

666
00:46:05.080 --> 00:46:06.400
That just doesn't work for me.

667
00:46:06.800 --> 00:46:08.800
I wish it did because it sounds very spiritual.

668
00:46:09.520 --> 00:46:10.360
It just doesn't.

669
00:46:11.080 --> 00:46:15.680
So what I have done in moments like that is I feel subject.

670
00:46:15.680 --> 00:46:16.600
I feel victim.

671
00:46:16.600 --> 00:46:18.160
I feel I need comfort.

672
00:46:18.240 --> 00:46:20.440
I'm not, everything is against me.

673
00:46:20.680 --> 00:46:21.880
I feel small.

674
00:46:22.400 --> 00:46:24.600
I don't feel that I am who God says that I am.

675
00:46:24.600 --> 00:46:29.280
So I, instead in moments like that, I have to shift back into who it is that

676
00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:32.520
God says that I am, and I have to do that by choice because I won't feel like it.

677
00:46:32.520 --> 00:46:35.000
And I won't believe it, but I have to shift into that.

678
00:46:35.320 --> 00:46:39.000
And then when I, and remember that, and when I do that, I realize again,

679
00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:40.800
I have authority and I have rulership.

680
00:46:41.080 --> 00:46:43.160
So what is it that I want to do?

681
00:46:44.240 --> 00:46:46.400
Not what do I need to make sure to avoid?

682
00:46:46.920 --> 00:46:48.200
What do I need to stop doing?

683
00:46:48.240 --> 00:46:50.320
What do I need to not let myself do?

684
00:46:50.360 --> 00:46:52.520
How do I need to be hard on myself?

685
00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:58.840
Instead from that place of empowerment, how do I want to offensively live?

686
00:46:59.080 --> 00:47:01.600
What do I want to create in my own life?

687
00:47:02.440 --> 00:47:07.360
And it can take on different forms to depends on how much you're needing comfort.

688
00:47:08.640 --> 00:47:14.640
If you feel powerful enough, do something that you want that actively, that

689
00:47:14.640 --> 00:47:19.200
proactively create something positive in your life, like, like, I don't know, pick

690
00:47:19.200 --> 00:47:22.200
up your room and like create order out of chaos.

691
00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:25.880
Or go to the grocery store or do something.

692
00:47:26.280 --> 00:47:31.080
But if you are struggling where you're like, I just need comfort,

693
00:47:31.160 --> 00:47:32.960
you be the comfort for you.

694
00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:38.920
Let your spirit, let your soul experience the safety of your spirit being its

695
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:46.960
parents and in, and let your soul, uh, and, and let your spirit show your soul,

696
00:47:46.960 --> 00:47:50.960
that your soul can be what it is and be enjoyed and think of something

697
00:47:50.960 --> 00:47:52.240
that your soul would like to do.

698
00:47:52.640 --> 00:47:53.960
That's more constructive.

699
00:47:54.240 --> 00:47:56.960
Like for me, I've got all kinds of projects that I like to do.

700
00:47:56.960 --> 00:47:59.680
So I will let myself, and I've been doing this recently.

701
00:47:59.680 --> 00:48:03.120
If I just kind of like, just need a little something different.

702
00:48:03.160 --> 00:48:06.320
If something feels like work at the moment and I normally enjoy it.

703
00:48:06.320 --> 00:48:10.080
I'm like, okay, I really just need to like recenter myself or whatever.

704
00:48:10.080 --> 00:48:15.440
And I will give myself 10 minutes, 30 minutes, depending on the time, whatever

705
00:48:15.440 --> 00:48:16.920
I need to work on my project.

706
00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:19.680
That to me feels luxurious.

707
00:48:19.680 --> 00:48:21.440
And that feels like I'm wasting my time.

708
00:48:21.600 --> 00:48:21.880
Why?

709
00:48:21.880 --> 00:48:23.080
Because I'm enjoying it.

710
00:48:24.160 --> 00:48:29.040
And I have trained myself that if I'm enjoying it, it's wasting time and it's

711
00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:32.320
bad, and I have to earn my right to enjoy it.

712
00:48:32.680 --> 00:48:34.960
I have to earn it by doing all this other stuff.

713
00:48:34.960 --> 00:48:35.280
Right?

714
00:48:35.560 --> 00:48:36.400
So I have to choose.

715
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:39.240
No, Ashley, you are a, you are good.

716
00:48:39.240 --> 00:48:40.000
You are perfect.

717
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:41.600
God wants you to enjoy life.

718
00:48:41.600 --> 00:48:42.920
He wants to enjoy who you are.

719
00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:47.400
So I'm going to set aside some time to comfort myself by enjoying me.

720
00:48:48.200 --> 00:48:51.680
But pick something that's positive about yourself, that you're letting

721
00:48:51.680 --> 00:48:54.840
yourself express you like painting.

722
00:48:54.880 --> 00:48:56.880
You, you know, you've been getting into, I remember you got

723
00:48:56.880 --> 00:48:58.320
into painting for, for a bit.

724
00:48:58.960 --> 00:49:02.400
Like painting, it doesn't have to be a big, long, huge two hour project.

725
00:49:02.600 --> 00:49:06.440
It can just be for five minutes, maybe for 10 minutes, do something or

726
00:49:06.440 --> 00:49:10.840
reading your favorite book, or just give yourself a little bit where you are

727
00:49:10.840 --> 00:49:15.520
luxuriously and pouring into you.

728
00:49:16.080 --> 00:49:20.520
And, um, and that lets, and that's affirming to you that you're worthy.

729
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:24.480
It's comforting you and it's because it's, it's, um, showing that you're

730
00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:28.600
worthy, it's showing that you're worthy of something and it's affirming it by

731
00:49:28.600 --> 00:49:35.040
actually allowing it or say that it's affirming it by allowing it to be that

732
00:49:35.040 --> 00:49:35.360
thing.

733
00:49:35.840 --> 00:49:38.520
Um, I don't know how to explain that, but is that helpful?

734
00:49:41.040 --> 00:49:41.240
Yeah.

735
00:49:41.240 --> 00:49:42.200
Well, so helpful.

736
00:49:42.240 --> 00:49:43.000
I was just writing.

737
00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:47.600
I'm like, I'm just realizing how much I've seen myself as a victim and just

738
00:49:47.600 --> 00:49:51.640
like, Oh no, I have no authority in my own life and I'm just going to do whatever.

739
00:49:51.640 --> 00:49:54.960
And then God has to like, do, you know, like blame him.

740
00:49:55.800 --> 00:49:56.600
But, um, yeah.

741
00:49:56.760 --> 00:49:57.280
Yeah.

742
00:49:57.480 --> 00:49:57.760
Yeah.

743
00:49:57.760 --> 00:49:58.440
So helpful.

744
00:49:58.480 --> 00:49:59.400
That's why.

745
00:49:59.720 --> 00:49:59.960
In.

746
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.940
But in this breakthrough program, I really wanted to focus on the two things,

747
00:50:02.940 --> 00:50:05.940
God and us. And one of the main things I'm focusing a lot on,

748
00:50:05.940 --> 00:50:09.840
especially in this last half is about us. And it sounds selfish.

749
00:50:09.860 --> 00:50:11.820
It sounds bad. It doesn't feel spiritual,

750
00:50:12.100 --> 00:50:17.100
but that's actually one of our biggest hurdles is we are our biggest enemy.

751
00:50:17.740 --> 00:50:20.420
And to our, you know, we're just, we, we've, um,

752
00:50:20.540 --> 00:50:24.660
we villainized ourselves and we have to learn to accept ourselves because we can

753
00:50:24.660 --> 00:50:25.300
only,

754
00:50:25.300 --> 00:50:29.340
we can only receive God to the degree that we're receiving ourselves in a manner

755
00:50:29.340 --> 00:50:30.420
of speaking. And so,

756
00:50:30.420 --> 00:50:34.700
because those two are so closely tied together and we're born from him. And,

757
00:50:34.700 --> 00:50:39.100
um, uh, so anyway, you, uh, when you're when in comfort,

758
00:50:39.120 --> 00:50:40.380
that's what I would recommend.

759
00:50:40.380 --> 00:50:45.380
That's how I do it for myself is I find something about myself that I can honor.

760
00:50:47.100 --> 00:50:47.940
I can hold,

761
00:50:47.940 --> 00:50:52.940
I can give space to be allowed to express and to just be itself without

762
00:50:53.040 --> 00:50:56.180
requiring anything of it without changing it and without telling it,

763
00:50:56.180 --> 00:50:57.060
it needs to be better.

764
00:50:57.060 --> 00:50:59.580
It needs to be whipping into shape or it shouldn't be like this,

765
00:50:59.580 --> 00:51:02.300
or we don't have time for this, you know,

766
00:51:02.300 --> 00:51:05.860
show that it's worthy of setting aside time in the middle of the day when you

767
00:51:05.860 --> 00:51:09.020
could be doing something else productive. Why? Because you're worth it.

768
00:51:10.180 --> 00:51:12.900
And it'll start changing. Yeah. I promise you,

769
00:51:12.940 --> 00:51:15.980
it will start changing your sense of self-worth because you are acting,

770
00:51:16.020 --> 00:51:19.220
you've chosen something in faith and now you're acting on it.

771
00:51:19.540 --> 00:51:23.300
It's not real faith and we're not really believing unless we act on it. Yeah.

772
00:51:23.660 --> 00:51:27.340
You're right. Thank you so much. Sorry for hogging all the time, Priscilla.

773
00:51:27.340 --> 00:51:31.940
I hope it's, uh, I hope it's helpful for you as well. I love your hair and makeup.

774
00:51:32.300 --> 00:51:35.780
Oh, thank you. No, I've been giving myself a manicure.

775
00:51:37.860 --> 00:51:42.180
Looks nice. Talking about pampering ourselves, right? That's right.

776
00:51:42.420 --> 00:51:46.020
That's right. So how are you, Priscilla? How are things going?

777
00:51:46.980 --> 00:51:50.740
Good. I actually wrote some things down, um, as we were talking,

778
00:51:50.740 --> 00:51:53.140
just as things came to my mind. Um,

779
00:51:54.340 --> 00:51:59.340
and I feel like I've had a very interesting week or weeks,

780
00:51:59.380 --> 00:52:01.660
I would say, I'll try to share really quickly,

781
00:52:01.660 --> 00:52:04.740
but something you said about how you know,

782
00:52:05.100 --> 00:52:09.500
you know what the Lord or sometimes God gives you things that you,

783
00:52:10.100 --> 00:52:12.020
that you know are shifting your whole life,

784
00:52:12.020 --> 00:52:16.460
but you can't really like explain it is kind of how I would feel this last week.

785
00:52:16.500 --> 00:52:20.460
And, um, that exercise that I,

786
00:52:20.460 --> 00:52:23.460
that you recommend doing, um, the one about being,

787
00:52:23.660 --> 00:52:25.700
just being with God and being with yourself.

788
00:52:26.180 --> 00:52:29.820
And I really tried to be with myself first, but it scared me so bad that I was

789
00:52:29.820 --> 00:52:33.980
like, okay, it's okay. I'm just going to go be with God first.

790
00:52:33.980 --> 00:52:35.820
And I trust that that's going to give me, you know,

791
00:52:35.820 --> 00:52:40.260
the courage I need to be alone with myself. And I remember, um,

792
00:52:40.500 --> 00:52:43.900
it was actually after I'd gone to bed and I was just laying alone in the dark.

793
00:52:44.420 --> 00:52:46.420
And I remember, um,

794
00:52:47.380 --> 00:52:52.220
I remember feeling like what the Lord was showing me was, well,

795
00:52:52.220 --> 00:52:56.860
I immediately thought about the feeling that I get when I, um,

796
00:52:57.260 --> 00:52:59.180
like crawl into bed beside Arnold at night,

797
00:52:59.220 --> 00:53:03.260
or when one of my kids comes to cuddle with me and it's just quiet and relaxing

798
00:53:03.260 --> 00:53:06.020
and they're with me, like, it just feels like a warm blanket.

799
00:53:06.060 --> 00:53:06.900
You know what I mean?

800
00:53:07.860 --> 00:53:10.260
And I felt like that is,

801
00:53:10.420 --> 00:53:13.100
that is what I see the Lord as right now,

802
00:53:13.540 --> 00:53:17.540
like that warm sense of being and presence where it's like,

803
00:53:17.540 --> 00:53:22.260
I'm safe and I belong and it like relaxes my whole body. Um,

804
00:53:24.300 --> 00:53:27.900
yes. And also something that you said, um,

805
00:53:28.020 --> 00:53:29.620
when you were talking in your,

806
00:53:29.620 --> 00:53:34.020
in the last session was how you said that you'd always been taught that, you

807
00:53:34.020 --> 00:53:36.460
know, God can't see sin. And so therefore he can't see you.

808
00:53:36.460 --> 00:53:39.900
All he can see is, you know, your dread, your drenched shape.

809
00:53:40.300 --> 00:53:44.540
And that I have struggled for years with that.

810
00:53:44.540 --> 00:53:48.140
And I haven't really like given it much thought in the last few years,

811
00:53:48.580 --> 00:53:52.580
but I felt like that was another piece to the puzzle for me of like, no,

812
00:53:52.580 --> 00:53:54.420
like God sees me.

813
00:53:55.060 --> 00:54:00.060
He sees me as a son of God. And cause I'm in Christ and he's in me,

814
00:54:00.700 --> 00:54:05.340
but it's also not just, it's not just, um, how would you say,

815
00:54:05.500 --> 00:54:05.700
like,

816
00:54:05.700 --> 00:54:10.700
why would God have created me if all he wanted was his son and nothing else?

817
00:54:11.540 --> 00:54:14.620
And it's not like, and that's the other thing is like,

818
00:54:14.620 --> 00:54:19.620
I know I can't exist apart from Christ and yet I'm still a unique son.

819
00:54:21.140 --> 00:54:24.780
So that was huge. Um, and I'm not worthless.

820
00:54:24.780 --> 00:54:26.300
That's another thing that I really,

821
00:54:26.300 --> 00:54:29.660
really struggled with is like apart from, I always thought like, well,

822
00:54:29.660 --> 00:54:33.900
if I'm not a Christian or, um, in myself, I'm worthless.

823
00:54:34.220 --> 00:54:39.220
And I don't, I don't know how to articulate why I don't believe that that's true

824
00:54:40.060 --> 00:54:44.700
anymore, but I don't believe it anymore. And, um, I remember as a child,

825
00:54:44.700 --> 00:54:47.940
like I would pray that the Holy spirit would control me. Like, you know, I just,

826
00:54:47.980 --> 00:54:49.380
Oh, just take control, Lord.

827
00:54:49.380 --> 00:54:52.180
And I'm realizing that that's not the interaction God wants.

828
00:54:52.620 --> 00:54:56.980
Like he wants active participation and he wants, he wants me.

829
00:54:56.980 --> 00:54:59.980
And that's also why I'm realizing why he uses marriage.

830
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.400
as like the picture of Christ and his church, because grooms don't want this deadbeat wife.

831
00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:09.920
That's just like, Oh, whatever you want, at least not the healthy husband. That's not

832
00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:14.480
what they want. They want an active participant who is like, no, this is my opinion. You know,

833
00:55:14.480 --> 00:55:20.160
this is what I want. And, but it's because they're one, you know, Gwyneth Louise,

834
00:55:20.160 --> 00:55:24.560
if you need something, if you need something, you have to ask daddy right now. Okay.

835
00:55:24.560 --> 00:55:33.440
Um, anyway, so he wants me to interact with who it is that I am through being in Christ.

836
00:55:33.440 --> 00:55:38.400
So that is like something I'm learning. Um, and then something else significant. Um,

837
00:55:39.600 --> 00:55:46.640
when you were talking about how so often, um, um, we want, we want God to just, we want him

838
00:55:46.640 --> 00:55:50.880
to be responsible for the things that happen for the choices that we make. And I think that's why

839
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:54.640
purity culture was such a huge boom because everybody was so afraid of messing up their

840
00:55:54.640 --> 00:55:58.800
future. So they're like, well, we have to just be so short that we're marrying the right person.

841
00:55:58.800 --> 00:56:03.680
That way everything's going to turn out. Okay. And that was totally me. Like I was so engulfed

842
00:56:03.680 --> 00:56:09.040
in that whole thing. And, um, I've really struggled with owning my decision to marry

843
00:56:09.040 --> 00:56:14.240
Arnold like since, um, since I've been realizing all this stuff, like, I'm like, Oh shoot. Like,

844
00:56:14.240 --> 00:56:17.840
did I just marry him? Because I, that's where I felt like I had peace. Cause I was too scared

845
00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:21.680
to marry anyone else, you know, and I was too scared to break up with him and, you know,

846
00:56:21.680 --> 00:56:26.720
all these things. And we've talked about all this, so he knows all this stuff. But, um,

847
00:56:26.720 --> 00:56:31.360
since I feel like in the last month, all of these exciting things that have been happening for me,

848
00:56:31.360 --> 00:56:38.400
I had a dream about the first guy that ever asked me out. I was 17. He was a total sweetheart. He

849
00:56:38.400 --> 00:56:44.480
was so kind and he had like this amazing family. And I, but I said, no, after six months of turmoil,

850
00:56:44.480 --> 00:56:50.000
like I was just, I did not, I made him wait that long. And then I said, no. And my dear father

851
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:55.840
called him on Valentine's day to tell him no, which was absolutely awful. But I had a dream

852
00:56:56.400 --> 00:57:03.360
that I said yes to him. And in the dream, it was so strange because in the dream, I said yes.

853
00:57:03.360 --> 00:57:09.840
And I was so incredibly happy. And I, I know this sounds so sketch, but I promise there's a good

854
00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:14.240
ending, but I remember, and that was the other thing like Arnold and I had a completely hands

855
00:57:14.240 --> 00:57:20.400
off relationship. And it was very, I was scared of making any wrong moves, you know,

856
00:57:21.680 --> 00:57:25.440
but in this dream, I had said yes to him. And the first time I met up with him, it would,

857
00:57:25.440 --> 00:57:30.320
we were so happy. And like, we kissed and hugged and like held hands. And then we met his family

858
00:57:30.320 --> 00:57:36.880
and I knew his family really well. And everybody was so happy. And anyway, and then I woke up from

859
00:57:36.880 --> 00:57:42.400
this dream and I was like, Oh my word, why would I dream that? Why would I be so happy in the dream?

860
00:57:42.480 --> 00:57:48.560
And instead of freaking out, I remember exactly where it was. I was in my bathroom and it was like,

861
00:57:48.560 --> 00:57:53.600
I chose instead to like, listen to my spirit. And I was like, you know what? I think the Lord is

862
00:57:53.600 --> 00:58:00.400
telling me that no matter which guy I would have chosen, he would have made it good. And not only

863
00:58:00.400 --> 00:58:08.000
that, but my last name is good. Now, like you can stop, but it's because of Arnold. Arnold is the

864
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:13.600
one who gave me that name, you know? And anyway, and then I had another dream, uh, but probably

865
00:58:13.600 --> 00:58:18.080
about a week later about another guy, which was my first ever crush. And we were dating and I was

866
00:58:18.080 --> 00:58:25.440
happy and, but I wasn't like totally invested. I was like, Oh my word. So, um, I feel like I have

867
00:58:25.440 --> 00:58:32.080
come to, I have been able to like totally give that air. I felt it was, it was kind of weird,

868
00:58:32.080 --> 00:58:37.360
but I felt like I, for the first time ever, like I remember I was sitting in my tub when I was like

869
00:58:37.360 --> 00:58:42.720
processing all this stuff. And I, I remember I grieved that relationship and I had never grieved

870
00:58:42.720 --> 00:58:47.120
it before. Like the first guy that asked me, because I always felt guilty doing that. Cause

871
00:58:47.120 --> 00:58:51.280
I was like, well, I should just be so glad that I told him no, you know, but instead I was like,

872
00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:56.880
wow, he was a really sweet guy that wanted me. And he was super nice. And I'm sad, you know,

873
00:58:56.880 --> 00:59:00.640
that he's not in my life anymore, but I'm also really happy with my life the way that it is.

874
00:59:01.520 --> 00:59:10.000
Anyway, all of this stuff, I feel like it's actually more redemption. Yes. Um,

875
00:59:10.880 --> 00:59:15.280
so the other thing that this is just like a side note, but it's something I've always struggled

876
00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:20.880
with. And I remember processing this with you, um, Ashley was, I could never understand, like I

877
00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:26.960
have, I was raised that you never get divorced and for sure not married. If you get divorced,

878
00:59:27.120 --> 00:59:31.200
like everybody will judge you, but it's okay. If you were like almost beaten to death or whatever,

879
00:59:32.800 --> 00:59:35.760
you could never like get remarried. Cause then you would definitely go to hell.

880
00:59:36.560 --> 00:59:42.560
And so we've been like, and I always struggled with that because I was like, God, why do you

881
00:59:42.560 --> 00:59:48.240
make someone else responsible for somebody else's decisions? You know what I mean? Like if you get

882
00:59:48.240 --> 00:59:52.240
married and then, um, you know, your husband is abusive or he cheats on you. She's like,

883
00:59:52.240 --> 00:59:56.080
oh yeah, too bad. Like, yeah, you don't have to live with any money anymore, but God's never

884
00:59:56.080 --> 00:59:59.840
going to let you love anyone else. And nobody else may ever love you. And I'm like,

885
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.560
this just does not line up with who I feel like you are. But at

886
01:00:04.560 --> 01:00:08.040
the same time, I have a lot of trouble trying to like navigate

887
01:00:08.040 --> 01:00:10.680
scripture because it does kind of sound like you're not allowed

888
01:00:10.680 --> 01:00:14.720
to. So anyway, we were actually processing this with our

889
01:00:14.720 --> 01:00:18.720
counselor and he gave us a it was just like this little

890
01:00:18.720 --> 01:00:22.160
photocopied piece of paper where this I don't even remember his

891
01:00:22.160 --> 01:00:26.880
name, but he basically explained the meaning of the Greek words

892
01:00:26.880 --> 01:00:31.720
and like all all of the reasons why divorce remarriage is

893
01:00:31.720 --> 01:00:35.040
allowed in certain situations. And I remember in that moment,

894
01:00:35.040 --> 01:00:37.880
this was already like a couple months ago. But I remember in

895
01:00:37.880 --> 01:00:41.320
that moment being like, Oh, shoot, like, I can tell I'm

896
01:00:41.320 --> 01:00:44.880
starting to believe this. And I should feel really scared. But

897
01:00:44.880 --> 01:00:50.000
at the same time, I knew that I had peace. And I and I felt the

898
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:54.200
familiar safety of the truth. And so I was like, no, like

899
01:00:54.240 --> 01:00:57.720
instead of resorting back to this fear driven mindset, I'm

900
01:00:57.720 --> 01:01:01.360
going to go where peace is and where like faith is. And I feel

901
01:01:01.360 --> 01:01:06.080
like even just that made me realize is how much I was

902
01:01:06.080 --> 01:01:09.360
holding against God and even just that belief, like knowing

903
01:01:09.400 --> 01:01:12.040
and feeling like, well, you're not good to people, you know,

904
01:01:12.040 --> 01:01:15.320
you punish people for other people's wrongdoings. And you're

905
01:01:15.320 --> 01:01:17.880
not a safe place for people who are abused, you know, and all

906
01:01:17.880 --> 01:01:21.840
that stuff. So I feel like even that kind of started setting me

907
01:01:21.840 --> 01:01:27.960
up for a lot of these breakthroughs. So absolutely, I

908
01:01:27.960 --> 01:01:30.960
would say those, those are all the amazing parts. And I mean,

909
01:01:30.960 --> 01:01:34.960
not even all of them, there's so many more. But I think one thing

910
01:01:34.960 --> 01:01:38.720
that I, I'm kind of like, I'm not panicking about, it's more

911
01:01:38.720 --> 01:01:42.800
like, every time I'm like, this is amazing. There's like this

912
01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:46.680
little thing in the back of my mind where I'm like, shoot, I'm

913
01:01:46.720 --> 01:01:51.640
I don't know what to do with this. And that is my business.

914
01:01:51.640 --> 01:01:55.240
And you know, my business has always been that thing, that

915
01:01:55.240 --> 01:01:58.240
thing that's always there that I'm never sure if it should be

916
01:01:58.240 --> 01:02:03.960
there or not. And I just feel like I'm not sure. I'm not sure

917
01:02:03.960 --> 01:02:06.560
where to go with it. Because financially, it's literally

918
01:02:06.560 --> 01:02:10.480
changed our lives. And like Arnold wouldn't have to go to

919
01:02:10.480 --> 01:02:14.480
work, we could just live off of that income. But at the same

920
01:02:14.480 --> 01:02:18.760
time, I feel like I'm it's just in this constant turmoil with

921
01:02:18.760 --> 01:02:23.000
it. And especially with my team, like if it was just my

922
01:02:23.000 --> 01:02:26.720
customers, I'd be like, fine. But like, lately, I have had no

923
01:02:26.720 --> 01:02:30.240
energy for it. I don't, I just want to like disappear from

924
01:02:30.240 --> 01:02:36.120
Instagram forever. And I, and at the same time, I'm so scared of

925
01:02:36.120 --> 01:02:41.880
being without my business, because I feel like I am really

926
01:02:41.880 --> 01:02:45.040
terrified to live without financial security in that way.

927
01:02:45.080 --> 01:02:50.400
And I don't know, like, I don't know, this part of my life, I

928
01:02:50.400 --> 01:02:56.120
feel like I'm so scared to. I just feel like there's so much

929
01:02:56.120 --> 01:02:58.280
fear there for me that I can't tell if I'm in the spirit or in

930
01:02:58.280 --> 01:03:03.560
the soul. And I don't know. I don't even know how to talk

931
01:03:03.560 --> 01:03:06.800
about it. And the other night when I was praying about it, I

932
01:03:06.800 --> 01:03:11.240
did, I, I was like, Okay, well, maybe what I should be doing is

933
01:03:11.240 --> 01:03:15.520
accepting the fact that this financial blessing is just that

934
01:03:15.520 --> 01:03:18.120
like, it is a blessing and to believe like, I've always felt

935
01:03:18.120 --> 01:03:21.240
guilty for the amount of money that I've been able to make and

936
01:03:21.280 --> 01:03:25.520
how not effortless it's been, but it has been a really good

937
01:03:25.520 --> 01:03:28.480
journey, you know? And I'm like, well, maybe I should just

938
01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:31.320
believe that and choose that God actually wanted to

939
01:03:31.320 --> 01:03:33.840
extravagantly bless me that way. And he wasn't like sitting back

940
01:03:33.840 --> 01:03:36.200
with his arms folded the whole time being like, why are you

941
01:03:36.200 --> 01:03:39.120
doing this? Yeah, I mean, it's going well, but man, I'm so

942
01:03:39.120 --> 01:03:45.040
disappointed in you. So I don't know. And at the same time,

943
01:03:45.240 --> 01:03:52.000
yeah. Yeah, I just don't know. So there's my, my verbal throw

944
01:03:52.000 --> 01:03:55.760
up. No, it's all it's all great. For one thing, I just want to

945
01:03:55.760 --> 01:03:59.200
comment on all the positive. I'm so excited for you. There's so

946
01:03:59.200 --> 01:04:02.000
much in which you know, even those things like, and I was

947
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.680
excited to see the connection that you saw between your

948
01:04:04.680 --> 01:04:07.440
discussion with the counselor, you know, about like, you know,

949
01:04:07.600 --> 01:04:09.920
what it got me when he was talking about this in Scripture

950
01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:13.560
and whatever, and that you recognize that that was

951
01:04:13.560 --> 01:04:15.720
significant to your current conversation, your current

952
01:04:15.720 --> 01:04:19.960
relationship with the Lord, because it wasn't about the the

953
01:04:19.960 --> 01:04:24.880
subject itself. It was the fact that that it would that that

954
01:04:24.880 --> 01:04:29.600
subject, your your issue with that subject was, where was part

955
01:04:29.600 --> 01:04:33.120
of how your struggle with the Lord was manifesting. It was

956
01:04:33.120 --> 01:04:35.960
like, Hey, look, I just don't think you're safe. Here's a good

957
01:04:35.960 --> 01:04:38.600
example. I don't think you're trustworthy. I don't think that

958
01:04:38.600 --> 01:04:42.800
you protect the the widows, the orphans, the, you know, the, the

959
01:04:42.800 --> 01:04:47.000
abused the, in other words, the weak, I don't think that you

960
01:04:47.000 --> 01:04:50.720
protect the weak and whatever. And you saw how just that how a

961
01:04:50.720 --> 01:04:54.000
subject like that was, or, you know, God's addressing of that

962
01:04:54.000 --> 01:04:59.800
subject like that broke you into a greater

963
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.680
a greater choice and a more powerful decision to choose that he actually is safe.

964
01:05:06.480 --> 01:05:12.320
In a new way into a deeper level than you'd allow yourself to choose before. So, um, so it just that

965
01:05:12.320 --> 01:05:16.960
as that, that as one example of everything you're talking about, so it's very exciting for you.

966
01:05:16.960 --> 01:05:23.520
Uh, and then obviously your dreams and all of that. Um, and, uh, because those are ways in which

967
01:05:23.520 --> 01:05:28.000
there are things like deep performance that we've had that God just brings to the surface of our

968
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:32.480
soul to deal with. And then they're just, they're cut off. And then love the fact that you agreed

969
01:05:32.480 --> 01:05:37.440
to that, that you allowed yourself to face it instead of feeling threatened by feeling of

970
01:05:37.440 --> 01:05:42.160
like, well, wait a minute, you know, why should I give any time to it, to grieve it? If I've made

971
01:05:42.160 --> 01:05:48.160
this other choice, you know, and really the only way that we can release something is to face it,

972
01:05:48.800 --> 01:05:53.920
to let it come up and out because we don't let it come out up and out. Well, then we, uh, or if we

973
01:05:53.920 --> 01:05:59.040
deny it, all of those things are cycling. And then they stay with us instead of us releasing

974
01:05:59.040 --> 01:06:03.120
them. So that is really good. It's all very, very brave. Most people would not have been able to be

975
01:06:03.120 --> 01:06:09.840
that brave. Um, and, um, so I just see that the Lord of God's very clear mark that he's wanting

976
01:06:09.840 --> 01:06:15.440
to just continually free you from these things that you've been in bondage to that. And the

977
01:06:15.440 --> 01:06:22.080
bondage isn't like, well, see, you've been bad. It's like, no, that you've been weighted down by

978
01:06:22.080 --> 01:06:28.720
things that you, that you don't have to be weighed down by because I was like, Oh my word. No, no,

979
01:06:28.720 --> 01:06:32.640
let's break this one off. And you don't need this one. And you don't need this, but he's just like

980
01:06:32.640 --> 01:06:38.640
taking different weights off of you. Um, just because he's that good. And I love it. And he

981
01:06:38.640 --> 01:06:42.160
doesn't want you to have to live with it anymore. So as opposed to condemning you for, why did you

982
01:06:42.160 --> 01:06:47.280
take on the weight? He's just like, Oh my word. No, no, no, no. We don't need that. And I want

983
01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:52.240
more for you than this one, you know? So that's exciting. Um, and then as far as like the difficult

984
01:06:52.240 --> 01:06:57.920
thing that you're talking about, um, I've been wanting to talk more about some details about

985
01:06:57.920 --> 01:07:02.640
like your business and how things and where your particular struggle is. I know that you say it's

986
01:07:02.640 --> 01:07:08.720
in your team, but I think that it, uh, that you need more X that, um, that it could use more

987
01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:14.720
exploration and excavation than that. And so that's one of the things that I would recommend

988
01:07:14.800 --> 01:07:24.080
that you start doing is suspend the meaning of the outcome, like just suspend what it would mean

989
01:07:24.080 --> 01:07:30.800
for your life. If things were to be very, very different. So basically just put yourself in what

990
01:07:30.800 --> 01:07:36.480
I call a sandbox. Cause that's an, that's an it software development term where basically you get

991
01:07:36.480 --> 01:07:42.400
to work and re in a mock-up of reality, but it actually doesn't affect reality. So you can like

992
01:07:42.400 --> 01:07:47.200
error out and get all these and all these bugs can manifest themselves in the software and you

993
01:07:47.200 --> 01:07:52.400
can fix them. And they actually aren't, you don't have to bury the consequences of them in reality.

994
01:07:52.400 --> 01:07:57.280
It's you're just in this sandbox or in this like playground where you're protected to like figure

995
01:07:57.280 --> 01:08:01.600
out what would happen if I do this? Oh, shoot. Yeah. I don't want to do that, but you're not

996
01:08:01.600 --> 01:08:05.840
actually doing it in real life. So it doesn't, it's not affecting you. And so, but the only way

997
01:08:05.840 --> 01:08:10.560
to do that is to basically get into a place with the Lord where you just suspend reality for a

998
01:08:10.560 --> 01:08:16.880
minute. This is not reality suspend the potential outcome of what could happen to your life as a

999
01:08:16.880 --> 01:08:22.000
result of all of these things in order to discover what it is you truly want and what the Lord really

1000
01:08:22.000 --> 01:08:25.760
wants. And then start going through the different aspects of the problem. And here's what I mean.

1001
01:08:25.760 --> 01:08:30.880
It's like, okay, if you could suspend reality of what, how business works, completely suspended,

1002
01:08:30.880 --> 01:08:35.680
completely suspended reality of how, how you've grown your business, what's worked, what hasn't

1003
01:08:35.680 --> 01:08:41.120
worked what's required of you, whatever. Like, well, I've already tried that and it doesn't

1004
01:08:41.120 --> 01:08:46.800
work. If I do it like that or suspend spirit past experience as well, like, Hey, I've already tried

1005
01:08:46.800 --> 01:08:53.600
that and it doesn't work. Suspend now completely blank slate. If, and then start picking apart your

1006
01:08:53.600 --> 01:08:59.439
business and start thinking, okay, if I could literally design business itself to work the way

1007
01:08:59.439 --> 01:09:05.600
that I wanted, what would it look like? And so then you'll start discovering, I like this part.

1008
01:09:06.319 --> 01:09:10.479
I like this interaction. Like say for instance, you're like, Hey, if it was just my customers,

1009
01:09:10.479 --> 01:09:14.000
that'd be great, but I really don't. So my struggle right now is the team.

1010
01:09:14.880 --> 01:09:20.319
So are you thinking like, okay, well, to what degree is that? So start taking out aspects of

1011
01:09:20.319 --> 01:09:23.920
your, of your, of your interaction with the team. Like if you were to take it all out,

1012
01:09:24.160 --> 01:09:29.520
like, okay, take them all out. And either you'd have your own line where you'd still have your

1013
01:09:29.520 --> 01:09:35.439
downline, but you're not responsible for any of your team. Are you really happy? And really think

1014
01:09:35.439 --> 01:09:41.600
about that. Really put yourself into that reality. And are you happy? Or is it like, well, no, I don't,

1015
01:09:41.600 --> 01:09:46.160
I don't mind helping the team with this. And my goodness, if I could never talk to them,

1016
01:09:46.160 --> 01:09:51.439
then I'd be sad because I actually like that. But you don't discover that until you kind of like,

1017
01:09:51.439 --> 01:09:55.280
put yourself into that reality and kind of live it for a minute and be, and then you

1018
01:09:55.280 --> 01:09:59.760
realize what parts you like, what parts you don't, and then you can kind of narrow in on, okay, this.

1019
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.720
It's this aspect right here.

1020
01:10:02.000 --> 01:10:04.260
I'd like all the other stuff to remain the same.

1021
01:10:04.260 --> 01:10:06.120
This is such a big pain point.

1022
01:10:06.400 --> 01:10:07.980
It's coloring everything else.

1023
01:10:07.980 --> 01:10:11.920
And I think I don't like anything that any, I think I don't like the whole team

1024
01:10:11.920 --> 01:10:15.300
aspect and really it's just this aspect of it.

1025
01:10:15.580 --> 01:10:17.080
And then you can start exploring with the Lord.

1026
01:10:17.080 --> 01:10:20.540
Lord, are you telling me in my spirit, I need to get rid of that or I

1027
01:10:20.540 --> 01:10:21.820
need to do that part different.

1028
01:10:22.380 --> 01:10:25.640
And so, or you might discover that God wants you to get rid of

1029
01:10:25.640 --> 01:10:26.540
their business altogether.

1030
01:10:27.280 --> 01:10:28.340
I don't know that that's true.

1031
01:10:28.340 --> 01:10:29.980
I'm not even, I'm not telling you for Lord.

1032
01:10:29.980 --> 01:10:30.700
I think that's true.

1033
01:10:30.700 --> 01:10:34.140
In fact, I, I highly doubt that I'm just saying, I have no idea

1034
01:10:34.140 --> 01:10:35.260
what's going to come out of this.

1035
01:10:35.600 --> 01:10:40.160
But what I've noticed from my past experience is that usually

1036
01:10:40.160 --> 01:10:41.380
it's not the whole thing.

1037
01:10:41.780 --> 01:10:47.040
There's just one part that is hurting so bad that, that other parts of it's

1038
01:10:47.040 --> 01:10:50.300
like a body part or whatever, that's hurting so bad, but the pain is shooting

1039
01:10:50.300 --> 01:10:54.020
up here, up here, there's nothing wrong with it.

1040
01:10:54.180 --> 01:10:55.580
It's just right here.

1041
01:10:56.000 --> 01:10:58.180
It's just that the pain is shooting all the way up here.

1042
01:10:58.180 --> 01:10:59.700
So you're like, oh my word, my arm hurts.

1043
01:10:59.700 --> 01:11:00.300
My neck hurts.

1044
01:11:00.300 --> 01:11:03.620
My, whatever, really, if you just got rid of this, everything else is fine.

1045
01:11:03.680 --> 01:11:05.020
You don't have a problem with anything else.

1046
01:11:05.420 --> 01:11:08.060
You might want to explore that with the Lord, but the way to do that is the

1047
01:11:08.060 --> 01:11:11.860
only way to do that is spend reality and stop telling yourself, oh yeah,

1048
01:11:11.860 --> 01:11:13.340
but that doesn't work in reality.

1049
01:11:13.560 --> 01:11:16.900
That's not how business works, whatever, create in your own mind, this

1050
01:11:16.900 --> 01:11:22.060
world in which, you know, laws and rules don't exist, how, how would you structure

1051
01:11:23.020 --> 01:11:23.860
How would you do it?

1052
01:11:23.860 --> 01:11:26.080
And then just kind of explore some stuff with the Lord.

1053
01:11:26.580 --> 01:11:30.260
And, and because, and here's why you can do that.

1054
01:11:30.260 --> 01:11:33.280
You can do it for a variety of reasons, but let's get really spiritual about

1055
01:11:33.280 --> 01:11:35.540
it is because God can do anything.

1056
01:11:36.660 --> 01:11:40.300
And the thing is that you as a spirit being can bring something new into the world.

1057
01:11:40.660 --> 01:11:44.380
When Jesus walked on water, that wasn't normal and yet he did it.

1058
01:11:45.180 --> 01:11:49.340
So you never know how it is that you're going to do your business, even the way

1059
01:11:49.340 --> 01:11:53.940
from what I hear from your business, it, it seems like it had God's favor on it.

1060
01:11:54.900 --> 01:11:56.480
That cause you were doing stuff.

1061
01:11:56.480 --> 01:11:56.700
Sure.

1062
01:11:56.700 --> 01:11:58.700
You did stuff that was very unique.

1063
01:11:58.700 --> 01:12:04.160
And that, you know, you gave that and God gave you that mind.

1064
01:12:04.160 --> 01:12:07.800
But I think that part of it was him giving you those ideas and the two of you doing

1065
01:12:07.800 --> 01:12:11.420
some stuff together and whatever other people, and you know, this from working

1066
01:12:11.420 --> 01:12:16.780
with your team, other people have tried to copycat you exactly to do what you do.

1067
01:12:16.780 --> 01:12:18.380
And they're not getting the same results.

1068
01:12:18.940 --> 01:12:20.980
And you're like, well, why me and not them?

1069
01:12:21.420 --> 01:12:22.240
And I don't even know.

1070
01:12:22.240 --> 01:12:24.420
I'm telling him to do all this stuff and we're trying to figure out.

1071
01:12:25.940 --> 01:12:28.000
Like, that's why I feel like I don't deserve a team.

1072
01:12:28.020 --> 01:12:31.300
Like, and I literally had a team member message me last week.

1073
01:12:31.300 --> 01:12:35.420
And she's like, I had, I had done a coaching call with her and she was like,

1074
01:12:35.580 --> 01:12:36.700
Oh, I told you guys about that.

1075
01:12:36.700 --> 01:12:38.460
I think I was wondering if it was that one.

1076
01:12:38.540 --> 01:12:38.780
Yeah.

1077
01:12:38.780 --> 01:12:40.860
And she was like, oh, well, I just learned that.

1078
01:12:41.620 --> 01:12:46.180
I, you can, you were successful and I can't be like, see, Lauren, she sees

1079
01:12:46.180 --> 01:12:47.500
this, she saw right through me.

1080
01:12:49.020 --> 01:12:51.260
No, but, um, what you get.

1081
01:12:51.780 --> 01:12:54.300
So keep your business going.

1082
01:12:54.300 --> 01:12:55.980
And I'm not telling you what to do with your business.

1083
01:12:55.980 --> 01:12:58.580
Like, I think that the Lord wants you to keep going in your business.

1084
01:12:58.940 --> 01:13:02.740
If whatever it is comes out of this, this exercise with the Lord.

1085
01:13:03.180 --> 01:13:06.300
Um, and if during any part of this, you mess it, you're, you're walking

1086
01:13:06.300 --> 01:13:10.100
to a message in a Facebook app or whatever, and you'd be like, Hey, look,

1087
01:13:10.100 --> 01:13:12.140
I've kind of this part where you think about this part, you know, to kind

1088
01:13:12.140 --> 01:13:15.180
of help you through it, but just like, so I don't mean you have to go off by

1089
01:13:15.180 --> 01:13:19.940
yourself, but generally, you know, um, you know, we're, we're with you in it,

1090
01:13:19.940 --> 01:13:22.980
but just generally, you know, just go through this process with the Lord.

1091
01:13:23.580 --> 01:13:29.180
And the thing is that what I'm telling you is whatever it ends up looking like.

1092
01:13:30.500 --> 01:13:35.780
Keep it going in the way that you started it, which was effortlessly in the spirit,

1093
01:13:35.980 --> 01:13:43.460
not by doing all of these laws and rules of, well, it only works it, or I'm trying

1094
01:13:43.460 --> 01:13:45.380
to learn all these business tactics.

1095
01:13:45.380 --> 01:13:48.980
And then I'm going to play and play all the formulas to get a specific

1096
01:13:48.980 --> 01:13:51.460
results that didn't happen for you.

1097
01:13:52.300 --> 01:13:56.540
Someone could try to back engineer and say, well, yeah, she was using this

1098
01:13:56.580 --> 01:13:58.380
principle and she was using this principle.

1099
01:13:58.620 --> 01:13:58.860
Yeah.

1100
01:13:58.860 --> 01:14:01.740
But if I remembered your story correctly, you were just kind of

1101
01:14:01.740 --> 01:14:04.540
going a lot more from the heart and be like, Oh, this feels good.

1102
01:14:04.540 --> 01:14:05.500
And this feels good.

1103
01:14:05.500 --> 01:14:10.420
And whatever it's, who it is that you are that brought the spirit of God

1104
01:14:10.460 --> 01:14:13.620
and life in heaven into what it is you were doing.

1105
01:14:14.020 --> 01:14:15.980
That is Jesus walking on water.

1106
01:14:15.980 --> 01:14:19.700
It's bringing in the kingdom of God and it's superseding the way

1107
01:14:19.700 --> 01:14:20.940
the kingdom of the world works.

1108
01:14:21.620 --> 01:14:25.980
So that is what is special about you and all of your downline.

1109
01:14:26.140 --> 01:14:28.660
And that is what you have to offer your downline.

1110
01:14:29.300 --> 01:14:34.500
So they can't perfectly copycat you and get this same results, but what you can

1111
01:14:34.500 --> 01:14:38.220
get, so that's not something that you have to give them why, because that's

1112
01:14:38.260 --> 01:14:40.500
not what you actually did.

1113
01:14:41.180 --> 01:14:43.420
What you did is you gave it your spirit.

1114
01:14:43.940 --> 01:14:47.140
Teach them to give it their spirits and you have to pull it out of

1115
01:14:47.140 --> 01:14:48.380
them because they don't know.

1116
01:14:48.460 --> 01:14:50.180
They don't know that aspect of themselves.

1117
01:14:50.500 --> 01:14:52.900
It probably haven't touched that part of themselves before that

1118
01:14:52.900 --> 01:14:54.260
part of themselves was never honored.

1119
01:14:54.260 --> 01:14:55.820
They were probably told to stifle it.

1120
01:14:56.300 --> 01:14:57.220
I talked to a lady.

1121
01:14:57.220 --> 01:14:58.660
She wasn't, she wasn't men.

1122
01:14:58.660 --> 01:15:00.100
And I, we did ministry.

1123
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.800
you know, in Houston, a few, a couple of weeks ago, and this lady walked up to me, I think I

1124
01:15:04.800 --> 01:15:09.680
may have told y'all about her. She was buttoned up to here. They didn't, it had long hair down,

1125
01:15:09.680 --> 01:15:13.920
at least her waist full. She and her mom, you know, long skirt. She looked men in night, but

1126
01:15:13.920 --> 01:15:21.840
she didn't wear the cap. And, and she, and she came up to me. And so she's having me pray for

1127
01:15:21.840 --> 01:15:29.040
like her gift of tongues and for all this other stuff. And she said, she said, I can't, he said,

1128
01:15:29.040 --> 01:15:37.040
can you tell me how, how can I, how can I feel me? She couldn't access herself. She could not feel

1129
01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:45.680
feelings because she was so shut down. She didn't know what she felt about things. And I told her,

1130
01:15:45.680 --> 01:15:49.600
I said, is because you don't, you shut yourself down to the point where you don't let yourself

1131
01:15:49.600 --> 01:15:55.600
access you. So you're not going to be able to experience certain things about how to remember

1132
01:15:55.600 --> 01:16:00.880
how I worded it. But basically I said, you need to pray and ask the Lord to help you get access

1133
01:16:00.880 --> 01:16:05.360
to you. And I said, you need to realize that you're not something to be afraid of. You're afraid of

1134
01:16:05.360 --> 01:16:09.920
you. So you don't want to let yourself feel you. You don't want to let yourself show who you really

1135
01:16:09.920 --> 01:16:15.920
are. And so I said, you, as the first thing is it's trust that you're actually good and that

1136
01:16:15.920 --> 01:16:20.480
you're going to find good things, not that you're bad, because then you're going to be afraid of

1137
01:16:20.480 --> 01:16:24.720
yourself. Then just start opening yourself up. So anyway, my point is a lot of people, especially a

1138
01:16:24.720 --> 01:16:29.280
lot of people in your, in your downline, not everyone, but a lot of them are very conservative.

1139
01:16:29.280 --> 01:16:32.960
They're going to have those issues. And even if they're not conservative, I mean,

1140
01:16:32.960 --> 01:16:36.560
listen to us, we're talking about this here in the breakthrough program too, because we all struggle

1141
01:16:36.560 --> 01:16:41.840
with this. We all struggle with shutting ourselves down because we thought we were bad. So that's one

1142
01:16:41.840 --> 01:16:46.080
of the great things that you have to give of yourself. And again, it's not, it's something

1143
01:16:46.080 --> 01:16:51.440
that you have within you. Like if you're wondering like, well, how would I teach them this? How would

1144
01:16:51.440 --> 01:16:56.720
I do this through your spirit? You show up in your spirit and you treat your team and the

1145
01:16:56.720 --> 01:17:01.760
leadership of your team in the same way that you grew your business. What feels good? Where's my

1146
01:17:01.760 --> 01:17:06.720
passion? Where's my whatever look at me and what I did for the first three sessions that I didn't

1147
01:17:06.720 --> 01:17:11.040
like the first three, like not the Q and A's the Q and A's I was myself, but like those other

1148
01:17:11.040 --> 01:17:15.040
teachings. I was like, they just feel flat. They don't feel like me. They don't have a heart in it.

1149
01:17:15.040 --> 01:17:20.560
And yet I poured myself. I literally spent hours creating those sessions. And I'm like, I mean,

1150
01:17:20.560 --> 01:17:24.640
like the notes for him and the research or not the research, but like the research of the

1151
01:17:24.640 --> 01:17:30.720
scripture verses and all of this stuff. And, and I was just like, Lord, this isn't working. Finally,

1152
01:17:30.720 --> 01:17:35.840
I just suspended it all and did the last session. And all of a sudden everything came to life again.

1153
01:17:35.840 --> 01:17:40.960
I'm like, okay, there I am. And that's how God, my point is that's how God wants me to show up.

1154
01:17:40.960 --> 01:17:45.680
He wants me to show up with me and stop thinking that no, there's probably some rules I'm supposed

1155
01:17:45.680 --> 01:17:51.120
to be following that'll help people get more effective, more effective help. No, they need

1156
01:17:51.120 --> 01:17:57.520
my spirit because it was my spirit that gained the authority in this area of rest or breakthrough

1157
01:17:57.520 --> 01:18:02.480
or whatever. And that's the thing that needs to be imparted to them. So your spirit and who it is

1158
01:18:02.480 --> 01:18:06.640
that you are needs to be imparted to the team. And you can do that in the same way you do your

1159
01:18:06.640 --> 01:18:13.840
business. Okay. What feels right? What feels, you know, and I'm not meaning that just how we were,

1160
01:18:13.840 --> 01:18:18.400
you know, whatever, or childish, it's just, you know, how you did your business, just,

1161
01:18:18.400 --> 01:18:24.240
you know, you're a grown woman. That part of you that is a fully adult and yet goes with your

1162
01:18:24.240 --> 01:18:32.080
spirit, you know, just what feels right and trust it and that, and then you will, your spirit has

1163
01:18:32.080 --> 01:18:38.000
power behind it and things will happen. And I don't prepare for these calls. I don't prepare

1164
01:18:38.000 --> 01:18:41.920
for Q and A's. I don't have people send me questions ahead of time so I can prepare.

1165
01:18:42.480 --> 01:18:46.800
I just show up and trust that the Lord is going to give me what I need in the moment.

1166
01:18:46.800 --> 01:18:51.440
When y'all talk, I had the answer immediately, or you ask a question. I had the answer immediately.

1167
01:18:52.240 --> 01:18:59.920
How? Because I trust, I show up simply trusting I am who God says that I am. Okay, Lord, here I am

1168
01:18:59.920 --> 01:19:04.240
with my spirit. I don't know the answer to all of these questions. I don't have all of these

1169
01:19:04.240 --> 01:19:11.280
experiences. What do I do? Can y'all still hear me? I think Denise died. Okay. So anyway,

1170
01:19:11.920 --> 01:19:16.480
is that helpful at all to at least start you out? Yeah, it is. And I'm really excited about

1171
01:19:16.480 --> 01:19:22.240
doing that actually, because I feel like that will really help me separate the sheep from the goats

1172
01:19:22.240 --> 01:19:27.520
when it comes to like what I love and what I don't. And I really liked the analogy of the sandbox

1173
01:19:27.520 --> 01:19:31.680
because I feel like beforehand, I always stopped myself short because I'd be like, well, it's not

1174
01:19:31.680 --> 01:19:38.000
going to work, you know, it's actually not gonna. So it helps to know that just to be able to daydream

1175
01:19:38.000 --> 01:19:41.840
and I would love to like actually send you guys what I come up with.

1176
01:19:44.960 --> 01:19:51.200
Yeah, love that. Yeah, well, good, good. And part of what will help in there is again,

1177
01:19:51.200 --> 01:19:56.320
to trust that what comes out of you and what you feel, remember, you're not gonna look you're not,

1178
01:19:56.320 --> 01:19:59.920
you're not making. How do I describe it? You're not.

1179
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:09.740
and it's it's a sandbox you can't harm anything or mess anything up so just

1180
01:20:09.740 --> 01:20:13.560
totally suspend the reality and then do all of that and enjoy you being you

1181
01:20:13.560 --> 01:20:18.480
that's what I'm trying to say do this exercise enjoying being you because it's

1182
01:20:18.480 --> 01:20:23.520
you that you're needing access to in order to discover the answers if that

1183
01:20:23.520 --> 01:20:27.760
part of you that's connected with God you and your spirit y'all are the ones

1184
01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:31.760
that that know what it is you really want and what's really gonna work what's

1185
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:35.440
really needed what it is you don't like that's where you're searching for the

1186
01:20:35.440 --> 01:20:38.880
answer it's just it's not your head and so you have to suspend your head you

1187
01:20:38.880 --> 01:20:43.000
have to choose hey you know I have the answers within me why because God is

1188
01:20:43.000 --> 01:20:46.960
within me and he knows what's going on I'm just trying I'm just getting it all

1189
01:20:46.960 --> 01:20:50.760
entangled with my soul that has no idea what's going on so I'm trying to get to

1190
01:20:50.760 --> 01:20:56.760
the part of me and God that that that has more wisdom and that knows so

1191
01:20:56.760 --> 01:21:00.120
anyway so trust that that place is good that that place is not anything to be

1192
01:21:00.120 --> 01:21:03.120
afraid of and then you just watch what comes out and we'll discover things

1193
01:21:03.120 --> 01:21:08.440
about yourself you'll discover things about the Lord awesome yeah I love that

1194
01:21:08.440 --> 01:21:15.280
okay well good all right well I will say Thursday okay so I will see y'all on

1195
01:21:15.280 --> 01:21:18.880
Monday and if y'all have any questions or whatever just pop in there in the

1196
01:21:19.040 --> 01:21:21.040
chat.

1197
01:21:21.040 --> 01:21:23.040
Okay, thank you!

1198
01:21:23.040 --> 01:21:25.040
Thank you!

1199
01:21:25.040 --> 01:21:27.040
Bye!