WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.280
Hello. All right. So today we are going to talk about what does God expect of me? This

2
00:00:12.280 --> 00:00:16.760
one, the reason why I included it is, you know, we've been talking about, well, who

3
00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:21.400
does God say that he is? And who does he say that I am? But one of our biggest issues is

4
00:00:21.400 --> 00:00:28.680
well, what is my responsibility in our relationship? You know, how am I supposed to, because he

5
00:00:28.680 --> 00:00:36.360
is who he is and I am who I am in relationship to him. What's he looking to me for? What's

6
00:00:36.360 --> 00:00:45.160
like I said, what's expected of me. Right. And, um, and it's, I, I felt very, not just

7
00:00:45.160 --> 00:00:53.080
oppressed by what I thought God expected of me. I thought God expected all of these, uh,

8
00:00:53.960 --> 00:00:59.640
I thought God expected me was performance, but I had to do all of these things. I had to follow

9
00:00:59.640 --> 00:01:07.320
the rules. I had to live out my destiny. I had to find my purpose. I had to, you know, do all

10
00:01:07.320 --> 00:01:12.920
of this stuff, all of these words that we use that we feel very, um, very terrified by. We're

11
00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:16.040
afraid that we're going to miss it. We're afraid that we're going to miss out that there was

12
00:01:16.040 --> 00:01:20.120
something that God intended and there's something that God wanted out of us in order to make our

13
00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:24.920
life quote unquote, worth it, you know, to Lord, worth it to us, worth it to the Lord,

14
00:01:24.920 --> 00:01:29.720
pleasing to God that we were, you know, could die having accomplished the reason why we were put

15
00:01:29.720 --> 00:01:36.040
here, you know, and it's just very oppressive. And, um, and I thought that that's what God

16
00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:41.640
expected. He expected me to fulfill a particular purpose destiny that there was supposed to,

17
00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:47.800
like I said, follow all these rules. I was supposed to grow in maturity in learning all

18
00:01:47.800 --> 00:01:54.680
of these ways in which I was supposed to form my character. So that by the time I died, I was

19
00:01:54.680 --> 00:02:02.200
molded more into a shape, you know, et cetera. And, and so that meant that I defined myself

20
00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:08.680
by where I wasn't yet, uh, that there was a particular destination that I was supposed to

21
00:02:08.680 --> 00:02:16.840
be at. And my, what God expected of me was to get there. And I was, like I said, I was just

22
00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:22.280
concerned. It bred this, this fear that I was going to miss it, that I wasn't going to, and I

23
00:02:22.280 --> 00:02:27.160
was going to miss it because either I didn't understand it or I couldn't find the way, or I

24
00:02:27.160 --> 00:02:34.920
was too afraid or I wasn't courageous enough or whatever. Right. And, uh, or no matter how hard I

25
00:02:34.920 --> 00:02:42.440
tried, I couldn't figure it out or I couldn't actually do it. And, um, meaning like I couldn't

26
00:02:42.440 --> 00:02:48.120
perform, I couldn't execute or whatever. And therefore that I was just going to have failed.

27
00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:52.840
And I found out in my life, it came so much more free. When I discovered that it's actually not

28
00:02:52.840 --> 00:02:59.240
what God expected of me, that wasn't what he expects of us. So I wanted to go through, um,

29
00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:04.360
some scripture that talks about what it is the Lord does want from us. Now, obviously we know

30
00:03:04.360 --> 00:03:12.040
that he wants to be believed. So he wants us to have faith, but that's actually not the thing

31
00:03:12.040 --> 00:03:18.360
that he is asking for us to, to constate. How do I, how do I put it? There's something even deeper

32
00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:24.360
that he's asking us to focus on than faith, but faith gets us there. So what is it that he wants

33
00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:30.680
us to focus on? So let's look at Matthew six 33, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his

34
00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:36.840
righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. And then also Hebrews 11, six,

35
00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:43.000
speaking of faith and without faith, it is impossible to please God because anyone who

36
00:03:43.000 --> 00:03:51.640
comes to him must believe that he exists and very, very, very important that he rewards those who

37
00:03:51.640 --> 00:04:00.840
earnestly seek him. Anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those

38
00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:10.680
who earnestly seek him. Those are the two, uh, what would you say focuses, I guess, of faith

39
00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:15.400
because he talked about it at the very beginning and without faith, it's impossible to please God

40
00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:23.480
comma, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and believe that he rewards

41
00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:30.200
those who earnestly seek him. And those two things are the foundation, so to speak, the focus of our

42
00:04:30.280 --> 00:04:35.160
faith. So yes, God wants us to have faith, but what is it that we're having faith in? We're having

43
00:04:35.160 --> 00:04:40.600
faith in him. It were, what are we supposed to have faith in? We're supposed to have faith in him.

44
00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:46.440
He is the object of our faith. Um, and when we believe that he is who he says that he is part

45
00:04:46.440 --> 00:04:53.320
of that is that he is that thing to us. So it's not just that he is good because again, and that

46
00:04:53.320 --> 00:04:57.800
he rewards those who earnestly seek him. It's not just that he's good, that he exists and that he

47
00:04:57.800 --> 00:04:59.880
is where he says he is. It's that.

48
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:11.760
He is that thing to us. So not only is God good, but God is good to me and God is being good to me

49
00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:22.480
now. God is safe. God is safe for me. God is being safe for me right now.

50
00:05:23.440 --> 00:05:29.840
Same thing with provider. God is provider and God is provider for me.

51
00:05:30.720 --> 00:05:35.600
Of all people, it's not just that he's provider for everyone else. God is provider for me.

52
00:05:37.440 --> 00:05:44.240
And he is provider for me right now. You don't have to wait. It's not for later,

53
00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:49.440
et cetera. And you can say this for a fact that he's protection or that he's love. God is love

54
00:05:49.520 --> 00:05:55.600
and God is loving to me and God is loving me and God is loving me right now, et cetera.

55
00:05:55.600 --> 00:06:03.040
And God is provide a protector and he, God is protecting me and God and protector for me

56
00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:12.480
and protector to me. And God is protecting me right now. It's so those are the two. Those

57
00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:19.840
are the two. There's a word I keep looking for and I keep missing it. So it's, if those are the

58
00:06:19.840 --> 00:06:25.280
two things that we need to, that the things that God says is important for our faith to be directed

59
00:06:25.280 --> 00:06:31.440
towards and founded in is that he is who he says that he is and that he is that thing to us.

60
00:06:32.160 --> 00:06:36.800
Right. That he rewards those who earnestly seek him. What does he reward us with? He rewards us

61
00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:43.600
with himself. And that's why I keep referring to that. God is good and God is good to me.

62
00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:47.760
God is love and God is loving me. God is provider and God is providing for me

63
00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:54.160
and God is provider for me. And God is provider to me, et cetera, and protection and safety and

64
00:06:54.160 --> 00:07:00.880
all of that. So that means that what it is that we should be doing is we should be seeking him

65
00:07:00.880 --> 00:07:05.920
because it says, and he rewards those who earnestly seek him. And that's part of, and

66
00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:12.560
that's what it is that God desires for us to do. So yes, we have faith, but part of the journey

67
00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:20.800
that we're on is actually seeking him. And when we find him and more things are revealed about him,

68
00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:28.080
we're called to have faith in him. So the thing is though, that, let me see those. There's something

69
00:07:28.080 --> 00:07:38.320
else I'm going to say. No, before I went into this, that the seeking, well, I don't know,

70
00:07:38.320 --> 00:07:42.960
maybe it would be better if I explain this, but let me mention this one really quick. Psalm 30,

71
00:07:42.960 --> 00:07:46.240
since we're quoting all those other scripture verses, here's another one that goes back to

72
00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:52.720
the old Testament. Psalm 35, 10, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. So you've got

73
00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:58.080
an old Testament quote, those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. And then the new Testament

74
00:07:58.080 --> 00:08:04.960
one in Hebrews 11, six, where at the end, it says he that, and he rewards those who earnestly seek

75
00:08:04.960 --> 00:08:12.880
him. So what it is that God expects of us is to seek him, not in a manner of speaking, to learn

76
00:08:12.880 --> 00:08:20.800
more about him, to gain revelation from him, to learn how to be like him, to whatever, all of

77
00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:26.800
those things are good. All of those things are kind of, all those things will be done, but they're

78
00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:34.240
baked into the seeking him. That's what we're supposed to do. That's what God expects of us.

79
00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:41.919
That's what God desires of us. Let's, okay, before I get into actually how to do that,

80
00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:49.360
let me just mention really quick, this struggle that I had gone through, and I forgot to mention

81
00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:53.280
last week, my struggle about like the deep anger and hurt. So I'll hopefully remember that in a

82
00:08:53.280 --> 00:08:59.280
minute to just kind of mention what that one was about. But so the great disappointment here, and I

83
00:08:59.280 --> 00:09:03.360
have underneath the, because I experienced tremendous disappointment in my relationship

84
00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:10.720
with the Lord, and I addressed him about it. So in Ecclesiastes 2, 11, it expressed, I thought it

85
00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:16.080
expressed how I felt very well. It said, yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I

86
00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:22.720
had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless. A chasing after the wind, nothing was gained under

87
00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:31.120
the sun. So I had gotten very, this is after my crisis of faith. In fact, this was a few years,

88
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:38.560
I think, after it. Oh my word. This was several years after it. This was a long time, but okay.

89
00:09:38.560 --> 00:09:44.400
Yeah, several years after it, I had gone through other struggles with the Lord and, and I finally

90
00:09:44.720 --> 00:09:51.760
I finally got to this one. I had, I had been looking for, I had known that the season that

91
00:09:51.760 --> 00:09:56.480
I was in with a particular job was closed. And so I'd been trying to leave that one for a while.

92
00:09:56.480 --> 00:09:59.920
And I searched for, I think I continued to work for

93
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.440
that company for another maybe nine months

94
00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:05.720
or something like that, eight, nine months.

95
00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:07.360
And I still couldn't find another job.

96
00:10:07.360 --> 00:10:09.680
Finally, I just had to leave that job

97
00:10:09.680 --> 00:10:14.080
because I wasn't able to find another one.

98
00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:16.080
So it's like, I'm just gonna have to jump fully

99
00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:17.760
into searching for another one.

100
00:10:17.760 --> 00:10:18.600
Go ahead and leave this one

101
00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:22.360
because I feel that the grace to be in this job,

102
00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:24.480
that the time was up a long time ago.

103
00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:27.760
I just didn't know where my exit was supposed to have been.

104
00:10:27.760 --> 00:10:31.320
I just knew that I am past my due date on this.

105
00:10:31.320 --> 00:10:33.080
So I went ahead and left.

106
00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:36.000
That meant though that because I still couldn't find a job

107
00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:38.880
that I had to move back in with my parents.

108
00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:42.160
That is really hard when you've been an adult

109
00:10:42.160 --> 00:10:45.200
that has taken care of yourself for years

110
00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:47.880
and had your own place and had your own stuff

111
00:10:47.880 --> 00:10:50.160
and had your own life and your own group of friends

112
00:10:50.160 --> 00:10:52.720
and your own church and all of this other stuff.

113
00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:55.480
And then all of a sudden you have to move back

114
00:10:55.480 --> 00:10:56.840
into their house again.

115
00:10:56.840 --> 00:10:58.880
That was so, so challenging.

116
00:10:58.880 --> 00:11:03.880
You feel like you tried to fly out of the nest

117
00:11:04.400 --> 00:11:07.200
and you were successful for a while.

118
00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:10.560
And then all of a sudden you did something and failed.

119
00:11:10.560 --> 00:11:12.520
You failed at being able to take care of yourself.

120
00:11:12.520 --> 00:11:13.600
That's what it feels like.

121
00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:14.920
I was just terrible,

122
00:11:14.920 --> 00:11:18.000
just like really kind of hits you in the gut.

123
00:11:19.040 --> 00:11:22.240
And then God, and then I couldn't find another job.

124
00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:24.840
I couldn't find a job for another three months after that

125
00:11:24.880 --> 00:11:27.040
or two, no, three months after that.

126
00:11:28.440 --> 00:11:31.640
But finally, when I got a job, it wasn't what I wanted.

127
00:11:31.640 --> 00:11:36.320
And I had been, I had just gotten weary.

128
00:11:36.320 --> 00:11:41.320
I'd had over a year of searching for a job.

129
00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:46.440
I'd had, and then you add up the fact that prior to that

130
00:11:46.560 --> 00:11:49.880
I had been burned out in my job long prior to that.

131
00:11:49.880 --> 00:11:52.760
So we're talking like at least two, three years

132
00:11:52.760 --> 00:11:57.760
of some major struggle and that's piled on top

133
00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:02.440
of just an underlying struggle I'd had with the Lord

134
00:12:02.440 --> 00:12:05.360
for, I don't know, at least 10 years, something like that.

135
00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:08.080
And I was just worn out.

136
00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:10.960
By this time, I think I was in my early thirties.

137
00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:13.960
So I had like three decades into my belt of life.

138
00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:16.080
And I told the Lord, I was like,

139
00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:18.200
I remember being at this new job

140
00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:19.640
and I don't remember how long I'd been there,

141
00:12:19.640 --> 00:12:21.880
but I was so disappointed that of all places,

142
00:12:21.880 --> 00:12:23.200
this is where I'd ended up.

143
00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:26.320
And now I look back on it and going,

144
00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:28.000
oh my word, that was a great opportunity.

145
00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:29.480
That was a great job and whatever.

146
00:12:29.480 --> 00:12:32.360
But I was disappointed because my life did not look

147
00:12:32.360 --> 00:12:35.680
like what I wanted it and expected it to look like.

148
00:12:35.680 --> 00:12:37.720
So I just felt like a failure.

149
00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:41.120
And I felt disappointed that this was as far

150
00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:42.440
as God had gotten me.

151
00:12:42.440 --> 00:12:44.640
That this is how much all of the work

152
00:12:44.640 --> 00:12:47.080
and all my performance, all my striving for him

153
00:12:47.080 --> 00:12:52.080
and all my sacrifice for him and my obedience

154
00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:56.000
to whatever he told me to do had led to.

155
00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:57.440
I was very disappointed,

156
00:12:57.440 --> 00:12:59.720
but understand it was more than that.

157
00:12:59.720 --> 00:13:04.720
The disappointment was more than what my life looked like.

158
00:13:05.600 --> 00:13:10.600
And that was the point that I wanted to make.

159
00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.800
I was disappointed that what I had

160
00:13:15.800 --> 00:13:19.720
in my relationship with him at the time was all I had.

161
00:13:21.720 --> 00:13:23.520
And I'll tell you something,

162
00:13:23.520 --> 00:13:28.520
that is the only time I have felt God's feelings hurt.

163
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:36.600
I'd never felt me hurting God's feelings.

164
00:13:40.680 --> 00:13:43.080
And let me just tell you, I don't want to feel it again.

165
00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:43.920
I just don't.

166
00:13:44.760 --> 00:13:49.760
I've never felt that type of a sickness.

167
00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:52.880
It's like I felt spiritually

168
00:13:52.880 --> 00:13:55.000
and therefore my body manifested as well.

169
00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:56.880
I felt nauseated.

170
00:13:56.880 --> 00:13:59.200
I just felt like I was going to throw up.

171
00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:03.280
I felt terrible because his feelings were so hurt

172
00:14:03.280 --> 00:14:08.280
that I was telling him that I was disappointed

173
00:14:08.360 --> 00:14:09.600
that this is all,

174
00:14:10.040 --> 00:14:15.040
that what it is, the preciousness and the intimacy

175
00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:18.920
that I had of him, because it was hard,

176
00:14:18.920 --> 00:14:21.440
and I was struggling with God a lot,

177
00:14:21.440 --> 00:14:24.040
but in that spiritual wilderness,

178
00:14:24.040 --> 00:14:25.600
remember that is where we have our great,

179
00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:27.360
we have tremendous intimacy with the Lord.

180
00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:29.120
So even though I was struggling with him,

181
00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:31.680
there was something very precious of the Lord

182
00:14:31.680 --> 00:14:34.760
that he was giving to me

183
00:14:34.760 --> 00:14:38.640
and that he'd been giving of himself to me for years.

184
00:14:38.640 --> 00:14:42.120
And I told him that it didn't,

185
00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:43.760
that it wasn't enough for me.

186
00:14:44.880 --> 00:14:46.200
And I was disappointed.

187
00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:52.280
I've told, I have very rarely told anybody

188
00:14:52.280 --> 00:14:54.520
ever in my life that story.

189
00:14:54.520 --> 00:14:55.880
I've probably relayed that story

190
00:14:55.880 --> 00:14:59.120
maybe only once or twice ever, ever.

191
00:14:59.120 --> 00:14:59.960
So this is,

192
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:19.200
Most the third time I've ever told that story, because there's an aspect of me that was so ashamed of of, um, you know, in my, in my soul, you know, that, that had a different, that has a very difficult time consuming.

193
00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:27.880
And, and, uh, facing the fact that I did that, I hurt God that deeply.

194
00:15:28.640 --> 00:15:33.760
Um, and I felt it and I am telling you what I couldn't, I was, it's like I was crawling out.

195
00:15:33.760 --> 00:15:36.200
I had to crawl out of my skin or something.

196
00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:39.120
I just, I couldn't handle it.

197
00:15:39.520 --> 00:15:42.440
And I went to a room.

198
00:15:42.440 --> 00:15:43.960
I was, I was at my work.

199
00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:47.720
I went to a conference room that nobody was in at the time.

200
00:15:48.280 --> 00:15:56.520
And I got down on my knees and I closed the door, got down on my knees and I said, God, I repent.

201
00:15:57.400 --> 00:16:01.920
And I renounce having said that I completely renounce that Lord.

202
00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:08.400
And I repent of ever having told you it's not that I repented of telling God that I repented.

203
00:16:08.400 --> 00:16:08.800
Yes.

204
00:16:08.840 --> 00:16:17.760
Of saying it in other words of declaring it, but I repented of having made that choice that he was a disappointment.

205
00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:31.800
That's really what I was saying that, that what he'd given of me, because that's really in essence, what our relationship with the Lord is it's what we give of ourselves and what he gives of himself to us.

206
00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:46.120
And I told him in my, that, that I, because I was in my disappointment, I told him that that disappointment therefore was, I was disappointed in what I got at him.

207
00:16:47.080 --> 00:16:48.760
It's like, this is it Lord.

208
00:16:49.880 --> 00:16:52.800
So this, this is all I get of you.

209
00:16:53.680 --> 00:16:58.520
And God was handing me the most priceless treasure in existence.

210
00:16:59.440 --> 00:17:01.480
And I told him I was disappointed.

211
00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:11.560
So the reason I mentioned that in case any of y'all have struggled with that, or if you haven't, which hopefully you have not.

212
00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:26.079
If you, that even if you haven't to just kind of hear and be aware of how challenging that our relationship with God can be and what it is that we can be wrestling through.

213
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:39.840
And, and to just highlight for you that those feelings are possible and that quite honestly, you probably deal with them at some level, some degree in your life.

214
00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:44.200
And mine just got so strong, it bubbled up to the surface.

215
00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:46.640
I realized it and expressed it.

216
00:17:48.200 --> 00:17:51.600
So I wanted to give you encouragement that I've been there.

217
00:17:51.600 --> 00:17:52.600
I've done that.

218
00:17:52.840 --> 00:18:01.200
This was the result, et cetera, but it caused me to face the fact that I was disappointed in what I felt that I had of the Lord.

219
00:18:01.800 --> 00:18:06.840
And when I experienced his response, I made a different choice.

220
00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:11.040
I repented of my previous choice and I renounced it.

221
00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:23.760
And I decided, no, Lord, I choose that what you've given of me is precious, is, is priceless, is valuable that I'll honor it.

222
00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:25.840
And I choose this Lord.

223
00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:30.600
I choose who you are and what you've given of yourself to me.

224
00:18:31.200 --> 00:18:35.440
I choose that over my life looking any different than it does.

225
00:18:36.840 --> 00:18:46.680
Remember, I was very disappointed in how my life looked, especially because of, and here's why I put it in this particular section of like what God has expected me, what does God expected me?

226
00:18:46.960 --> 00:19:02.360
Because I was disappointed because I, I felt that that wasn't equal to all the performance that I had paid towards earning that thing.

227
00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:12.120
I felt that I had just poured out my life's blood and that this wasn't worth what I'd received of the Lord was not worth what I'd sacrificed.

228
00:19:12.760 --> 00:19:19.440
And, and so the Lord just had me come to a place where I had to really face that.

229
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:21.000
That that's how I was feeling.

230
00:19:21.760 --> 00:19:47.120
And even still, even still feeling that and, and like facing the fact that I was struggling with it, I had to make a willful, intentional decision to choose something different and not go with my feelings, not go with my fears, not give

231
00:19:47.120 --> 00:19:58.240
into this, give into the struggle, meaning like what I was struggling with, the fleshly part of the struggle, not give into, I had to not give into the flesh of that struggle.

232
00:19:58.320 --> 00:19:59.920
And I just made the decision.

233
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:10.080
the Lord. So when we struggle, understand that the way to get out of it is that we're not usually

234
00:20:10.080 --> 00:20:15.760
convinced, especially as we mature in the Lord, we're not usually convinced. Remember how God

235
00:20:15.760 --> 00:20:20.160
does teach us this faith. We'll be talking, we'll be reminding ourselves of that next time. But

236
00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:25.360
you know, he starts with giving us lots of evidence and lots of proof, and we are eventually

237
00:20:25.360 --> 00:20:30.240
convinced of something. And then we choose to risk ourselves on believing it and acting on it.

238
00:20:30.800 --> 00:20:36.800
But real faith is when we aren't convinced when we don't have evidence, we can't see how that's

239
00:20:36.800 --> 00:20:43.360
possible. We can't look at our lives and be able to use that as a way to affirm to us that God is

240
00:20:43.360 --> 00:20:51.280
proof that God is right. And that what God said really is true. And we can't reason our way into

241
00:20:51.280 --> 00:20:55.680
believing what God says is true. We can't feel our way into it. And we have to make a willful,

242
00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:04.320
intentional decision of, okay, I'm going to make a choice for my life and what, and the, and the,

243
00:21:04.320 --> 00:21:16.640
and how much bigger I want to, I want my life to be in God. So that was that was the story that I

244
00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:27.600
just kind of wanted to give to highlight the fact that what it is that we're, that is very precious

245
00:21:28.480 --> 00:21:36.960
to the Lord and that he desires from us is seeking himself and enjoying the relationship

246
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:43.280
of how we get to interact. Relationship meaning like the interaction and the connection

247
00:21:43.280 --> 00:21:48.240
between the aspects of himself that he gives us and the aspects of ourselves that we give him.

248
00:21:49.280 --> 00:21:56.240
That is what God is expecting. So let's look at this a little deeper. The first level in how this

249
00:21:56.240 --> 00:22:03.760
plays and how we can see this playing out in scripture and how God directs us is that God's

250
00:22:03.760 --> 00:22:11.280
first order priority for us is relationship. This is the first level of what God expects from us

251
00:22:11.280 --> 00:22:14.960
is just simply relationship. And that's why it's seeking first, the kingdom of God and his

252
00:22:14.960 --> 00:22:19.440
righteousness, seeking first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will

253
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:25.760
be added into you. Because what's most important to the Lord is that we're seeking him. Now that

254
00:22:25.760 --> 00:22:29.600
we're accomplishing something for him, doing something for him, following all of his rules,

255
00:22:30.560 --> 00:22:36.160
you know, knowing how to grow into maturity, even growing into maturity, all of that, that'll happen

256
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:40.880
as a result of having that relationship with him. And how do we have that relationship with him?

257
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:46.960
We seek him. God is in the secret places. He is in, he has shrouded, the Bible says,

258
00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:52.880
I think it's in Psalms. I think it's in Psalms. I may be missing the book of the Bible,

259
00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:57.840
where exactly it is, but it says that the Lord shrouds himself in darkness, meaning like he's

260
00:22:57.840 --> 00:23:03.680
shrouded and in mystery. He shrouded that darkness just symbolizes mystery, shrouds himself in that

261
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:11.280
because it's the, what is it? The honor of Kings to seek a matter out,

262
00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:20.560
to seek something out, to seek an aspect of the Lord out is a good thing. It's not punishment

263
00:23:20.560 --> 00:23:25.600
that God has given us of like, Hey, you know what? I don't, I want you to have to work really hard to

264
00:23:25.600 --> 00:23:33.440
find me, or I'm going to hide myself from you. And you're just going to have to prove to me

265
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:39.760
how much you want me and whatever, you know, there's that there's, it's like the spiritual

266
00:23:39.760 --> 00:23:45.200
wilderness. God is in the wilderness. He could have been in the land of Canaan. And he said,

267
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:52.960
no, my mountain is in the desert. So I'm going to lead you out of Egypt into the wilderness on

268
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:58.160
your way to the promised land. You're actually going to find something greater than the promised

269
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:02.080
land. You're going to come to my mountain and you're going to meet me. You're, you're going

270
00:24:02.080 --> 00:24:11.120
to meet that and be in the most intimate place in the desert. So it's in, it's in the struggles

271
00:24:11.120 --> 00:24:15.600
that we're going through that we have the most intimate place with the Lord. It's in the,

272
00:24:15.600 --> 00:24:20.240
it's in that, you know, that relationship, that's where we're going to find him.

273
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:29.120
It's in the aspects of himself that he, in other words, his greatest treasure that he can give us

274
00:24:29.120 --> 00:24:34.960
is an S is aspects of himself. Right. And so that's not available to just anybody. Not everyone

275
00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:41.280
has access to the Lord in the way that we do and as the ways that his sons do. And that's why it's

276
00:24:41.280 --> 00:24:46.640
so, it's a special. So just like the wilderness, you know, God's shrouds himself, you know, just

277
00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:52.800
like he had the mountain in the desert, you know, he shrouds himself in darkness and in mystery.

278
00:24:52.800 --> 00:24:58.960
And then for us to seek him out, which part is part of that wrestle and part of that struggle,

279
00:24:58.960 --> 00:24:59.920
that's an intimate.

280
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:07.640
Special aspect of the, of our engagement with the Lord.

281
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:12.440
Remember what the Lord told me when I was struggling with him.

282
00:25:13.120 --> 00:25:14.560
I was just mad, you know?

283
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:19.880
And he said, Ashley, whatever you do, he said, struggle with me.

284
00:25:20.360 --> 00:25:22.980
Don't turn your back on me and struggle alone.

285
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:29.320
He said, even if your beef is with me, he said, struggle with me.

286
00:25:29.800 --> 00:25:38.440
God loves and loves that, that time of struggle, because it's

287
00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:40.520
not that it's bringing pain.

288
00:25:40.520 --> 00:25:42.040
The only reason that it brings pain.

289
00:25:42.320 --> 00:25:44.080
I think that we'd have this struggle anyway.

290
00:25:44.560 --> 00:25:48.040
Even if we, even if sin hadn't entered the world, the difference

291
00:25:48.040 --> 00:25:49.680
is the struggle now brings pain.

292
00:25:50.080 --> 00:25:52.000
Same thing with, you know, Eve and childbirth.

293
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:54.080
He said, now that when you, when you birth children, you

294
00:25:54.080 --> 00:25:55.280
said you'll experience pain.

295
00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:59.000
Well, there's nothing wrong with the fact that there was childbirth, right?

296
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:01.320
God intended that God, that was the first thing God told him.

297
00:26:01.320 --> 00:26:02.960
He said, be fruitful and multiply.

298
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:03.320
Right.

299
00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:07.760
But he told them after the fall, he said, you will now experience pain.

300
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:12.800
So the same kind of thing with the struggle with God, Jesus struggled with God.

301
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:23.280
So apparently that is where the greatest, the greatest treasure of what, how do I

302
00:26:23.320 --> 00:26:23.560
put it?

303
00:26:25.120 --> 00:26:31.320
Our aspect of a relationship where that God treasures the most is the struggle.

304
00:26:31.800 --> 00:26:37.280
We don't like it because after the fall, there's an aspect of pain that's in it.

305
00:26:37.600 --> 00:26:38.760
But here's the thing.

306
00:26:39.160 --> 00:26:42.600
I do not believe that it has to have all of that pain.

307
00:26:42.680 --> 00:26:47.800
I believe that we can learn through rest, how to struggle with the Lord in rest

308
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.280
without experiencing all the pain.

309
00:26:50.680 --> 00:26:51.080
Right.

310
00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:54.640
Anyway, so that's what we want to get to that.

311
00:26:54.640 --> 00:27:00.840
The struggle is just the being two different entities, you know, conflict.

312
00:27:00.840 --> 00:27:04.760
They say in relationship is healthy, that it's that if you have a relationship

313
00:27:04.760 --> 00:27:06.560
full of just nothing, but like perfect.

314
00:27:07.120 --> 00:27:08.360
But you would call it peace.

315
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:09.760
They say it's actually not healthy.

316
00:27:09.760 --> 00:27:10.200
Right.

317
00:27:10.680 --> 00:27:14.600
And unfortunately with conflict, the reason we think it's bad is people have a

318
00:27:14.600 --> 00:27:17.720
tendency to sin when they're doing it because they get mad and they get

319
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:18.880
selfish and they get whatever.

320
00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:19.160
Right.

321
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:26.240
But imagine that, imagine conflict in relationship that redeemed, imagine

322
00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:31.680
conflict in relationship in the garden of Eden, right, with God and with Adam,

323
00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:33.160
between Adam and Eve, whatever.

324
00:27:33.160 --> 00:27:33.520
Right.

325
00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:38.680
It's interaction in relationship between two beings that have

326
00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:41.520
different and unique contributions.

327
00:27:42.120 --> 00:27:46.080
God has his own contribution and you have your own contribution.

328
00:27:46.600 --> 00:27:52.640
When that meets their struggle, it doesn't mean that you're

329
00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:54.440
fighting against one another.

330
00:27:54.440 --> 00:27:58.760
It means that together, and this is why God said, Hey, actually wrestle with me

331
00:27:59.080 --> 00:28:06.960
together, you are wrestling with the problem with the issue that people

332
00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:09.920
talk about this, um, you know, in marriage, they say it's extremely

333
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:14.000
important for spouses to realize that when they're in, when they're going

334
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:19.200
through a relationship conflict, they need to come together as a team.

335
00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:27.120
To wrestle with the problem, not consider themselves as, as separate

336
00:28:27.120 --> 00:28:31.200
individuals that are wrestling against one another and considering each other

337
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:37.160
the problem, but rather teaming up together to wrestle with this problem.

338
00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:37.360
Right.

339
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:40.400
And to figure this thing outside, but you're outside of themselves,

340
00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:43.200
but there is a team that is the healthy.

341
00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:50.640
Deemed prior to the fall garden of Eden version of wrestling, of struggling with

342
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:55.560
God, and so he considers that to be very precious because it's intimate.

343
00:28:56.440 --> 00:29:00.640
The two of you are, are kind of, you're not just a, how do you put it?

344
00:29:00.800 --> 00:29:05.400
Each of you is contributing your own uniqueness to the issue,

345
00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:06.560
your own unique viewpoints.

346
00:29:06.560 --> 00:29:11.000
And I'm talking about you and God, your own unique viewpoints, opinions, um,

347
00:29:11.840 --> 00:29:13.960
and how you should carry them out.

348
00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:16.440
And they might sound and feel contradictory.

349
00:29:16.760 --> 00:29:16.880
Okay.

350
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:21.640
Some point when, um, uh, God and Moses were talking about the Israelites

351
00:29:21.640 --> 00:29:24.440
and God said, step aside, Moses, I'm going to wipe them all out.

352
00:29:24.760 --> 00:29:26.400
And Moses said, no, Lord, don't do that.

353
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:28.560
You know, people are going to talk horribly about you.

354
00:29:28.560 --> 00:29:30.960
And they're going to say that, oh my goodness, look at their God.

355
00:29:30.960 --> 00:29:35.000
He just took them, you know, out of Egypt to do nothing, but

356
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:35.920
kill them in the wilderness.

357
00:29:36.280 --> 00:29:39.480
You know, Lord, they're just not going to understand what it is that you're doing.

358
00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:40.120
Please save them.

359
00:29:40.120 --> 00:29:44.200
Please wipe me out instead and keep them.

360
00:29:45.240 --> 00:29:47.440
God's like, that sounds like me.

361
00:29:47.880 --> 00:29:49.440
That sounds like my character.

362
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:53.720
We see God do the opposite of what he did last time all the time.

363
00:29:54.080 --> 00:29:54.440
Right.

364
00:29:55.040 --> 00:29:56.840
But it doesn't mean that one is God.

365
00:29:56.840 --> 00:29:58.960
And one isn't just because the outcome is different.

366
00:29:58.960 --> 00:29:59.960
I remember we were talking about.

367
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.960
earlier in the group chat, the fact that we can't look at how it manifests in order to determine

368
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:13.840
if God's following his character or he's not. Both can be God expressing his character. Now,

369
00:30:13.840 --> 00:30:18.080
sure, because we have sin in the world, there could be other things at play and other factors

370
00:30:18.080 --> 00:30:24.800
at play that might determine why we got this account instead of this one, because the kingdom

371
00:30:24.800 --> 00:30:29.040
of the world might've had an awful lot of authority in this particular situation and the kingdom of

372
00:30:29.040 --> 00:30:32.880
God wasn't allowed to come in, you know, and have the authority over it. And so therefore we're

373
00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:37.280
like, well, God, why did you allow this to happen? And he's probably like, why did you allow that to

374
00:30:37.280 --> 00:30:41.120
happen? You're the one who has the authority. Or he's just like, you know what, this is this in a

375
00:30:41.120 --> 00:30:46.240
manner of speaking, not that things are outside of God's control, but in manner of speaking,

376
00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:50.640
it's just like, Hey, this was out of our hands. There were other people that I have given the

377
00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:55.520
authority to command things and whatever. And this is the decision that they made. And they

378
00:30:55.520 --> 00:31:01.040
had more authority in that situation than you did. And I'm the one who gave them that authority

379
00:31:01.840 --> 00:31:07.200
to be able to do that and look how they're using it. They're abusing it, right? And so I need you

380
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:12.080
child. That's what I'm doing with you. I'm raising you up so that these things stop happening,

381
00:31:12.080 --> 00:31:18.880
you know, and that you bring order to a world that is experiencing chaos, right? So it's not that

382
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:26.480
every single time something happens that it was God that did it or, or God allowed it like,

383
00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:35.840
I don't know, like, as if, as a, just like when Satan went to God and talked about Job and he said,

384
00:31:35.840 --> 00:31:40.480
Hey, you know, you know, will you let me at Job? And God says, sure. You know,

385
00:31:41.360 --> 00:31:45.200
if they're not all like that, there are other factors involved because they currently, and the,

386
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:53.280
the the creation is frustrated and experiencing being subject to the wages of sin, meaning that

387
00:31:53.280 --> 00:31:58.880
the wages of sin is that it's being corrupted by is leading it towards death. Right. And so

388
00:31:58.880 --> 00:32:05.040
it's unfortunately experiencing all of that pain, but generally speaking, you know, just talking

389
00:32:05.040 --> 00:32:12.720
about it very simply. So you can have to quote unquote opposite manifestations. In other words,

390
00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:18.640
God can be in his character here in this situation. And then you could have the exact,

391
00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:23.680
it looks like that type of situation was handled the exact opposite. And God might be involved in

392
00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:29.360
both. And both of them were always God being who he is as opposed to, well, in this one, God's love.

393
00:32:29.360 --> 00:32:33.680
And in this one, he's not love, you know, he's something else. He is, you know, it's the part

394
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:41.840
of himself. That's not love, you know, there's no such thing. Right. But anyway, God desires for us

395
00:32:41.840 --> 00:32:51.680
to his whole point is for us to have relationship with him. And we, you, and that means that we each

396
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:58.400
have a uniqueness, each meaning like he and us have a uniqueness that needs to be brought to

397
00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:03.600
the table and it's wrestled with or whatever. So when you're breaking your unique contribution,

398
00:33:03.600 --> 00:33:06.800
Lord, I think we ought to do this. And God's like, well, I think we ought to do this. Well,

399
00:33:06.800 --> 00:33:11.040
Lord, this is your character as well. I said, yes, I know it is. But in this particular,

400
00:33:11.040 --> 00:33:15.120
in this particular case, there's also these factors to consider. And I'm ensuring you

401
00:33:15.120 --> 00:33:18.800
to understand that there's these factors sometimes. And so I think that that colors

402
00:33:18.800 --> 00:33:22.560
and affects how we should handle this. And I'm like, well, I still don't think so because I

403
00:33:22.560 --> 00:33:28.320
think, you know, you're, you're, you're wrestling with it. What God doesn't want us to do in the

404
00:33:28.320 --> 00:33:36.720
wrestle is to accuse him and to declare that he's not who he says that he is. And you know,

405
00:33:36.720 --> 00:33:43.680
and that's, that's the problem, but there's that the, but the contributing your own uniqueness

406
00:33:44.320 --> 00:33:52.400
and facing God and wrestling with questions is the place that God loves. Oh yeah. Because you're,

407
00:33:53.360 --> 00:34:00.560
you're showing up, you're bringing yourself to the table and he created you to do that

408
00:34:00.560 --> 00:34:03.920
because he wanted relationship. He didn't want a robot. He wanted relationships. So you're

409
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:09.199
bringing yourself to the table and he loves that. He loves getting to interact with you,

410
00:34:09.199 --> 00:34:13.360
with who it is that you are, with your ideas, your spiritual ideas, not just your mental ideas,

411
00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:18.560
your spiritual ideas, you know, your desires that he placed in you. He loves seeing those

412
00:34:18.560 --> 00:34:25.199
operating and, you know, in effect, et cetera. And it's, and, and you're getting, and each of you,

413
00:34:25.199 --> 00:34:28.960
when you're contributing something, you're contributing an aspect of yourself and you're

414
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:34.480
giving yourself and you're showing up in this situation because you're facing one another,

415
00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:42.400
you're showing up vulnerably to one another and, and vulnerability. I don't explain vulnerability

416
00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:48.080
in relationship is what creates intimacy. When you have vulnerability in relationship,

417
00:34:48.080 --> 00:34:54.000
not transparency that, that that's, you know, a level that's a level lower, you know, meaning like

418
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:59.760
it's not quite there yet. It's when you show up vulnerably, when both parties show.

419
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.320
but vulnerably, you can have intimacy.

420
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:03.720
You can have a closeness.

421
00:35:03.720 --> 00:35:07.860
You can have an aspect of each other that,

422
00:35:07.860 --> 00:35:10.240
especially with God, that you'd never had before.

423
00:35:10.240 --> 00:35:12.640
You're giving more of yourself to him than you did before,

424
00:35:12.640 --> 00:35:17.640
and he's giving more access to himself, to you,

425
00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:21.020
more access of himself to you than he did before.

426
00:35:21.020 --> 00:35:22.840
That's why God says it's special.

427
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:26.800
It's because, meaning that wrestling and that struggling

428
00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:31.280
is because that contribution requires vulnerability

429
00:35:31.280 --> 00:35:34.120
in order to have, and that creates intimacy.

430
00:35:34.120 --> 00:35:35.080
So it's very special.

431
00:35:35.080 --> 00:35:38.000
It's the closest way in which we can be.

432
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:39.320
We can be with the Lord.

433
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:41.160
That's why it says, you know, with his mountain,

434
00:35:41.160 --> 00:35:43.580
that place of intimacy, that place of meeting him

435
00:35:43.580 --> 00:35:44.440
is in the desert.

436
00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:45.660
It's in the struggle.

437
00:35:45.660 --> 00:35:47.840
So where it is that you are is a great place.

438
00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:50.240
It's a place that God is so excited about,

439
00:35:50.240 --> 00:35:52.400
and he's enjoying.

440
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.960
He's enjoying you going through this right now.

441
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:58.280
He's not enjoying the pain that it's causing you

442
00:35:58.280 --> 00:36:01.360
because you're holding on to things

443
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:04.960
that can't bring you life, and that can't save you,

444
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:06.960
and that you're in bondage to, and all that.

445
00:36:06.960 --> 00:36:08.800
He's not excited about the fact

446
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:10.280
that you're experiencing pain.

447
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:13.400
He's excited about the fact that you're taking these things

448
00:36:13.400 --> 00:36:14.800
that mean a lot to you,

449
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:17.640
and you're wrestling through stuff with the Lord

450
00:36:17.640 --> 00:36:20.320
as opposed to going away and doing it by yourself

451
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:23.080
or choosing it.

452
00:36:23.080 --> 00:36:24.400
What he's wanting you to do,

453
00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:27.040
he's just like, okay, face me with this.

454
00:36:27.040 --> 00:36:28.320
Tell me how you really feel.

455
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:30.120
Tell me what you really think.

456
00:36:30.120 --> 00:36:32.680
But I'm asking you in the middle of all that

457
00:36:32.680 --> 00:36:34.540
to always choose me.

458
00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:39.480
Choose me, and then we'll talk about this.

459
00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:41.480
Okay, or, you know, hey, we'll talk about this,

460
00:36:41.480 --> 00:36:43.440
and then hopefully eventually, you know, you'll choose me.

461
00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:44.920
You know, that kind of a thing.

462
00:36:44.920 --> 00:36:47.640
But that's why all of this is very special to him.

463
00:36:47.640 --> 00:36:50.040
And we're gonna, I'm gonna touch really quickly

464
00:36:50.040 --> 00:36:53.160
on something I talked about in the rest intensive

465
00:36:53.160 --> 00:36:55.160
and remind us where this all comes from.

466
00:36:55.160 --> 00:36:57.840
Remember Ephesians 1.4 that we talked about,

467
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:01.000
God chose us in him before the creation of the world,

468
00:37:01.000 --> 00:37:02.720
as well as the, so in other words,

469
00:37:02.720 --> 00:37:06.600
he created your existence before he ever created earth.

470
00:37:06.600 --> 00:37:09.680
And then Jeremiah, I think it was 1.5,

471
00:37:09.680 --> 00:37:13.680
I knew you before you were in your mother's womb,

472
00:37:13.680 --> 00:37:15.240
before I knit you in your mother's womb,

473
00:37:15.240 --> 00:37:16.280
I think is how it went,

474
00:37:16.280 --> 00:37:20.080
before I knit you in your mother's womb, I knew you.

475
00:37:20.120 --> 00:37:22.520
So you had a value in existence

476
00:37:22.520 --> 00:37:26.040
outside of and before creation.

477
00:37:26.040 --> 00:37:27.680
So apparently you weren't created

478
00:37:27.680 --> 00:37:30.440
to execute a specific purpose

479
00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:33.200
and fulfill a particular destiny on earth.

480
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:35.240
You might have, you know, I believe that we,

481
00:37:35.240 --> 00:37:37.480
that maybe you have particular destinies

482
00:37:37.480 --> 00:37:39.160
and particular purposes, you know,

483
00:37:39.160 --> 00:37:42.280
and expectations and plans, you know,

484
00:37:42.280 --> 00:37:44.080
to fulfill out here on the earth,

485
00:37:44.080 --> 00:37:48.120
but that's not your first focus.

486
00:37:48.120 --> 00:37:51.040
And that's not the reason why you exist.

487
00:37:51.040 --> 00:37:54.280
That's not, doesn't give you any value.

488
00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:56.640
Your value is in your relationship.

489
00:37:56.640 --> 00:37:59.880
God created you first for relationship with him.

490
00:37:59.880 --> 00:38:02.200
Because remember, God chose you in him

491
00:38:02.200 --> 00:38:03.800
before the relation of the world.

492
00:38:03.800 --> 00:38:07.440
He found you, he created you as your own unique entity

493
00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:08.680
so you can have relationship,

494
00:38:08.680 --> 00:38:11.880
but then he put you back in him through Christ

495
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:13.560
so that he could be in union with you

496
00:38:13.560 --> 00:38:15.040
so we can have everything, you know,

497
00:38:15.040 --> 00:38:16.600
relationship within union.

498
00:38:17.600 --> 00:38:22.600
So that means if the whole point is relationship,

499
00:38:23.600 --> 00:38:28.600
that means that the whole point is the journey,

500
00:38:29.280 --> 00:38:30.840
not the destination.

501
00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:33.880
The whole point of your existence

502
00:38:33.880 --> 00:38:38.880
is the development of your relationship with God.

503
00:38:39.600 --> 00:38:44.080
It's the interaction, it's found in the struggle,

504
00:38:44.240 --> 00:38:47.960
which means it's found in those places of intimacy

505
00:38:47.960 --> 00:38:49.680
where you're vulnerable with one another,

506
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:51.120
where you're facing things,

507
00:38:51.120 --> 00:38:53.680
where you're facing God while facing these aspects

508
00:38:53.680 --> 00:38:56.840
of these deep, vulnerable, you know,

509
00:38:56.840 --> 00:38:59.200
soul deep aspects of yourself,

510
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:00.320
some of which are ugly

511
00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:02.400
and some of which are embarrassed about or shamed about

512
00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:05.400
or that make you afraid, you know,

513
00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:10.080
and you're wrestling through things with the Lord.

514
00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:13.600
That development of your relationship with the Lord

515
00:39:14.120 --> 00:39:18.640
is why you exist because that purpose

516
00:39:18.640 --> 00:39:23.640
is something that God created you for

517
00:39:24.040 --> 00:39:27.840
to have with him before the earth was ever created.

518
00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:30.560
So it must be very important.

519
00:39:30.560 --> 00:39:34.520
So remember that your whole point is not the destination,

520
00:39:34.520 --> 00:39:36.360
it's the journey.

521
00:39:36.360 --> 00:39:38.720
So you just developing your relationship with the Lord

522
00:39:38.720 --> 00:39:41.800
while you're at your job, while you find another one,

523
00:39:41.800 --> 00:39:44.440
while you're with your children, while you're raising them,

524
00:39:44.440 --> 00:39:48.400
while they're misbehaving and you're interacting with them

525
00:39:48.400 --> 00:39:50.160
and you're trying to learn how to raise them

526
00:39:50.160 --> 00:39:53.920
or you're dealing with issues with your extended family

527
00:39:53.920 --> 00:39:57.640
or you are planning and talking to the Lord

528
00:39:57.640 --> 00:40:00.240
about your future and possibilities and whatever.

529
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.240
During, during, in all of those things, the point is not that you mature.

530
00:40:06.240 --> 00:40:08.820
The point is that you develop your relationship with the Lord.

531
00:40:08.820 --> 00:40:11.400
You get closer and more intimate with him.

532
00:40:11.400 --> 00:40:14.680
Why can I say that the point isn't maturity?

533
00:40:14.680 --> 00:40:17.840
Because in the development of your relationship, but then the Lord keeps talking about how

534
00:40:17.840 --> 00:40:20.960
important maturity is because it's in the development of your relationship with the

535
00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:29.320
Lord that as you become, as you get to see more aspects of him as he is, and in order

536
00:40:29.320 --> 00:40:32.080
to do that, you have to be vulnerable.

537
00:40:32.080 --> 00:40:37.980
You're giving him access to you and you change whenever you're in the presence of God.

538
00:40:37.980 --> 00:40:40.560
So you open yourself up to those vulnerable places.

539
00:40:40.560 --> 00:40:46.160
He's changing you because you're changed by looking at God and who he is and the aspects

540
00:40:46.160 --> 00:40:49.840
of you that are like him start coming out.

541
00:40:49.840 --> 00:40:52.840
That is maturity.

542
00:40:52.840 --> 00:40:56.300
Maturity is not learning new things in the Lord.

543
00:40:56.300 --> 00:41:03.660
Maturity is letting out who it is that you are so that that is who you get, how you interact

544
00:41:03.660 --> 00:41:04.660
with the world.

545
00:41:04.660 --> 00:41:06.060
That's how you interact in the spirit world.

546
00:41:06.060 --> 00:41:08.380
That's how you interact in physical world.

547
00:41:08.380 --> 00:41:13.620
It's letting out who it is that you are.

548
00:41:13.620 --> 00:41:14.620
Let's see here.

549
00:41:14.620 --> 00:41:15.620
Okay.

550
00:41:15.620 --> 00:41:16.620
Sorry.

551
00:41:16.620 --> 00:41:28.020
I was reading it out and trying to decide if I, what I, if I wanted to mention that

552
00:41:28.020 --> 00:41:29.740
before we move on, but I think we'll just move on.

553
00:41:29.740 --> 00:41:36.620
So your second level of, um, I don't say your purpose, but like what other things does God

554
00:41:36.620 --> 00:41:37.620
expect from you?

555
00:41:37.620 --> 00:41:42.580
Remember first and foremost, it's relationship, outer relationship, what comes and understanding

556
00:41:42.580 --> 00:41:46.140
of how we're supposed to have dominion here in creation.

557
00:41:46.140 --> 00:41:47.940
So how, and what does that mean?

558
00:41:47.940 --> 00:41:52.100
That means how does our, the development of our relationship, the Lord, what that looks

559
00:41:52.100 --> 00:41:57.180
like right now, how we currently are relating to the Lord, how much we've learned of him,

560
00:41:57.180 --> 00:42:01.020
how intimate that we are with him, what we know of him currently, what he knows of us,

561
00:42:01.020 --> 00:42:02.020
what we've given him.

562
00:42:02.020 --> 00:42:07.660
In other words, what I mean is what we've given vulnerably him access to all of that.

563
00:42:07.660 --> 00:42:09.640
What does that look like?

564
00:42:09.640 --> 00:42:15.020
When we show, when we show that, when we show the, our current, the current state of our

565
00:42:15.020 --> 00:42:20.460
development of relationship, the Lord, what does that look like when we show it to creation?

566
00:42:20.460 --> 00:42:22.700
How does that show up physically?

567
00:42:22.700 --> 00:42:28.020
One of the aspects is well with God, we're his son and he's the king.

568
00:42:28.020 --> 00:42:33.620
So that makes us King Kings under him because he's the King of Kings, right?

569
00:42:33.620 --> 00:42:40.940
We're the Kings that he's, he's a, as a friend of mine says, we're the Kings he's King of.

570
00:42:40.940 --> 00:42:47.780
And, and so God says that as a King, he wants us to have dominion over creation.

571
00:42:47.780 --> 00:42:52.460
Just like he, you know, just using God as our, our father, as our example, what we're

572
00:42:52.460 --> 00:42:56.540
supposed to be like, just as he is the King over his kingdom.

573
00:42:56.540 --> 00:43:02.060
And so that's the next level down as something that God expects of us to do, expects of us

574
00:43:02.060 --> 00:43:04.980
is to have dominion it's be who you are.

575
00:43:04.980 --> 00:43:07.780
You are a son who is a King.

576
00:43:07.780 --> 00:43:17.580
So act like the sun King S O N act like a sun King who acts and rules in the goodness

577
00:43:17.580 --> 00:43:22.580
and the love of his father, showing that to the rest of creation that is, that is waiting

578
00:43:22.580 --> 00:43:25.380
on him.

579
00:43:25.380 --> 00:43:32.620
And we get, I'll mention, okay, so we'll, let me mention this one first before I mentioned

580
00:43:32.620 --> 00:43:35.060
the other one.

581
00:43:35.060 --> 00:43:43.940
We talked a little bit about this in the chat, but think of this related to business.

582
00:43:43.940 --> 00:43:47.340
Your business doesn't have any life.

583
00:43:47.340 --> 00:43:51.140
Your spirit is the life in your business.

584
00:43:51.140 --> 00:43:54.880
And this is the same, whether you own your business or it's your, or you just have a

585
00:43:54.880 --> 00:43:59.380
project that's been assigned to you, or you have a particular role, meaning like a title,

586
00:43:59.380 --> 00:44:02.420
a particular role that you're responsible to execute.

587
00:44:02.420 --> 00:44:07.220
And I don't know, just an aspect of a business.

588
00:44:07.220 --> 00:44:14.580
That's your responsibility to monitor and to keep healthy and, and to determine, right?

589
00:44:14.580 --> 00:44:22.540
So your, that your business, your project, your team, whatever is simply a structure.

590
00:44:22.540 --> 00:44:24.020
I'm not calling people structures.

591
00:44:24.020 --> 00:44:29.300
I'm just talking about the idea of a team, you know, it's a structure.

592
00:44:30.220 --> 00:44:32.380
You're the one that gives it life.

593
00:44:32.380 --> 00:44:40.220
You are the spirit that it needs in order to know what on earth to do, what direction

594
00:44:40.220 --> 00:44:46.620
to head in, how to act, what it has permission to execute.

595
00:44:46.620 --> 00:44:52.420
And by bringing your spirit in, who it is that you are as a son, as a king, because

596
00:44:52.420 --> 00:44:57.060
remember who are we, we're, we're a son and we're a king.

597
00:44:57.060 --> 00:44:59.260
And where is that identity of who it is that we are?

598
00:44:59.260 --> 00:45:00.100
It's in our spirit.

599
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.040
So that's why I keep talking about spirit is because that's where you're the son.

600
00:45:04.040 --> 00:45:05.040
That's where you're a king.

601
00:45:05.040 --> 00:45:06.280
That's where you have authority.

602
00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:08.680
That's where you have power because it's your spirit.

603
00:45:08.680 --> 00:45:09.680
That's one with Christ.

604
00:45:09.680 --> 00:45:11.240
And in Christ, you have all that.

605
00:45:11.240 --> 00:45:13.960
He has all power and authority, all power and authority has been given to him.

606
00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:19.480
So if you're one with him, then that aspect of you, which is your spirit.

607
00:45:19.480 --> 00:45:24.440
Also is the king that has that same power and authority when you're operating from inside

608
00:45:24.440 --> 00:45:29.360
Christ, from one, from being one with him, that spirit.

609
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:33.680
That spirit, man, that is what you need to give your business because your business is

610
00:45:33.680 --> 00:45:36.360
an aspect of creation, your business, your projects, you know, whatever.

611
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:39.080
I'm just calling it the business.

612
00:45:39.080 --> 00:45:40.080
That is the aspect.

613
00:45:40.080 --> 00:45:45.360
That's an aspect of creation that is waiting for a manifestation of a son of the sons of

614
00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:46.360
God.

615
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:52.120
And remember, because that spirit and you are giving spirit to your business, which

616
00:45:52.120 --> 00:45:54.720
is, which is creation.

617
00:45:54.720 --> 00:45:56.400
You can bring a miracle.

618
00:45:56.400 --> 00:45:58.360
God can do miracles through that.

619
00:45:58.360 --> 00:45:59.360
Why?

620
00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:00.360
Because you're bringing something from heaven.

621
00:46:00.360 --> 00:46:06.880
In other words, the kingdom of God, you're allowing that authority to enter the physical

622
00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:08.240
realm.

623
00:46:08.240 --> 00:46:13.120
And whenever you give the opportunity of the kingdom of God to, to be in the same place

624
00:46:13.120 --> 00:46:18.720
as the kingdom of this world, this authority always trumps this authority.

625
00:46:18.720 --> 00:46:23.880
And so sometimes the things that God wants to do or to not work with the laws, but to

626
00:46:24.880 --> 00:46:29.840
aren't executing what it is that he wants, he'll supersede the laws and what it is that

627
00:46:29.840 --> 00:46:37.160
how they normally act, because he has a higher desire of a, and, and, and an outcome that

628
00:46:37.160 --> 00:46:40.360
he desires to happen.

629
00:46:40.360 --> 00:46:45.200
And to just follow the laws in that particular situation, won't get the outcome that he desires

630
00:46:45.200 --> 00:46:47.560
for creation to have in that moment.

631
00:46:47.560 --> 00:46:52.720
So he'll supersede it and he'll do the impossible who create an impossible outcome out of it.

632
00:46:52.720 --> 00:46:58.000
But it's only if you bring your spirit into the situation and the only way you can do

633
00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:06.200
it is by showing up as you are, as a son who is subject to the character of God that you

634
00:47:06.200 --> 00:47:14.160
carry in your DNA and understanding your position given to you by God as a king to have dominion,

635
00:47:14.160 --> 00:47:20.640
that you have that role in creation, that responsibility, that you're not subject to

636
00:47:20.640 --> 00:47:21.640
creation.

637
00:47:21.640 --> 00:47:23.600
Creation is waiting for you.

638
00:47:23.600 --> 00:47:25.720
You're not subject to your job.

639
00:47:25.720 --> 00:47:31.720
You're spiritually not subject to your, your boss or your, or the company that you work

640
00:47:31.720 --> 00:47:33.360
for.

641
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:43.880
You are spiritually a king in, in Christ and you bring that authority into your job.

642
00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:52.800
But I didn't realize, so to speak, that that's what I was doing when I was in, when I was

643
00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:57.000
in corporate America and I had all of these bosses that are me, you know, there's my boss

644
00:47:57.000 --> 00:48:02.640
and my boss's boss, my boss's boss's boss, you know, and they knew something was different

645
00:48:02.640 --> 00:48:10.080
about me and how I didn't treat them like a mini God, you know, or yes, man, or whatever

646
00:48:10.360 --> 00:48:18.000
that it was like I, they were, they knew I was different because I wasn't intimidated

647
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:21.920
by them or intimidated by their position and relationship to me.

648
00:48:21.920 --> 00:48:28.440
I didn't feel threatened in my position because they were in a position over me.

649
00:48:28.440 --> 00:48:33.840
I just knew, Hey, that's just a responsibility that Gary, that I don't, but, and I took my

650
00:48:33.840 --> 00:48:39.080
responsibility as a king, as a son, king of my father.

651
00:48:39.080 --> 00:48:43.240
I took that very seriously and I would always bring his kingdom into everything.

652
00:48:43.240 --> 00:48:47.680
It is that I did knowing that spiritually I was subject to him.

653
00:48:47.680 --> 00:48:53.360
Now he wants me to honor the, my boss and my boss's boss, et cetera.

654
00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:58.640
Remember render into Caesar, the things that are Caesars, but that doesn't make me spiritually

655
00:48:58.640 --> 00:49:00.560
subject to them.

656
00:49:00.560 --> 00:49:07.600
I can actually choose to bring in the, the authority of the kingdom of God into a situation.

657
00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:08.920
Because that has it.

658
00:49:08.920 --> 00:49:14.360
And because I'm operating within the will of my father, meaning like I'm, I'm, he wants

659
00:49:14.360 --> 00:49:21.560
me to be a, as his son, he wants me to be a king that is lovingly and spiritually ruling

660
00:49:21.560 --> 00:49:26.240
the things within my, within my kingdom that he's holding me responsible for.

661
00:49:26.240 --> 00:49:33.400
I had his, his authority to bring in, I was in a position of authority that could bring

662
00:49:33.400 --> 00:49:40.880
in his kingdom, regardless of what my boss thought or, or did, or, you know, or whether

663
00:49:40.880 --> 00:49:45.360
or not they believed it or how they interacted with me or whatever, I would always honor

664
00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:51.040
my boss as my boss is the fact that they have a responsibility that I do not.

665
00:49:51.040 --> 00:49:55.600
And they're there to provide for me and protect me almost like kind of like an umbrella to

666
00:49:55.600 --> 00:49:59.280
make sure that I'm protected from the, from the higher ups, and then to make sure that

667
00:49:59.280 --> 00:50:00.000
I have what it is.

668
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.640
that I need. That's, that's what a leader is called to do. But spiritually I answered

669
00:50:05.640 --> 00:50:13.360
to God. And, um, so anyway, the reason I mentioned all of that as a personal example is to let

670
00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:15.880
you know that the things that I'm talking about are things that I've actually walked

671
00:50:15.880 --> 00:50:21.200
out and I didn't really know what I was doing when I did it. I knew that I was responsible

672
00:50:21.200 --> 00:50:27.080
to God and not to man. And so that's why I did it. But what I realize now with the Lord

673
00:50:27.080 --> 00:50:37.760
having taught me what he's taught me, I now realize, Oh, I was standing as a king in authority

674
00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:45.520
in that and bringing in the authority of being the son of a king was bringing that into whatever

675
00:50:45.520 --> 00:50:52.160
it is that I did. And that's why I wasn't intimidated by the people above me. And that's

676
00:50:52.160 --> 00:50:59.280
why God honored me, who was sometimes the low man on the totem pole. He honored the

677
00:50:59.280 --> 00:51:05.960
fact that I brought him in and gave him the authority. And so therefore he would do the

678
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:15.800
amazing and miraculous things. Um, so that the, my reason for saying all of that is you're,

679
00:51:15.800 --> 00:51:21.680
that's part of our responsibility is to have dominion. It's our responsibility to the Lord.

680
00:51:21.680 --> 00:51:27.080
That's what he expects of us. He's like, understand that the world is waiting for you

681
00:51:27.080 --> 00:51:33.600
to give instruction to it. It's waiting for you in order for it to know what to do and

682
00:51:33.600 --> 00:51:39.480
how to act and how to function. Um, there's, there's more to it that we can say about all

683
00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:43.320
of that. That would be a little, um, that would be a little too deep of a rabbit hole

684
00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:53.640
to get into, but I'll just mention this really quick. Um, it's, it's the way to give something

685
00:51:53.640 --> 00:52:03.680
instruction is to simply show up as you are meaning like who God says that you are believing

686
00:52:03.680 --> 00:52:08.720
and choosing for you and your reality and every, and all your kingdom and all aspects

687
00:52:08.720 --> 00:52:17.200
of that, that touch your kingdom, that in that place, you are the king and that God

688
00:52:17.200 --> 00:52:23.420
and his kingdom are the things that have the authority and the say to touch anything within

689
00:52:23.420 --> 00:52:27.000
your kingdom and anything that touches your kingdom, anything that like tries to interact

690
00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:32.880
with it or whatever, that the kingdom of God always has the highest authority. Then what

691
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:38.240
happens is as a default, everything within your kingdom is listening to you and everything

692
00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:43.520
that wants to interact with your kingdom. We'll hear the instruction. We'll understand.

693
00:52:43.520 --> 00:52:50.080
Okay. It basically what they'll do is they will know what to do because there's without

694
00:52:50.080 --> 00:52:57.720
you telling him because all they're all, they're programmed by God to respond to a son of God.

695
00:52:57.720 --> 00:53:03.180
So if you know who you are, they will then realize who they are. That begins to release

696
00:53:03.180 --> 00:53:09.100
them from frustration, all these different aspects of creation, like physical laws and

697
00:53:09.100 --> 00:53:14.420
laws of economics, other people's souls, you'll notice other people, other people around you

698
00:53:14.420 --> 00:53:20.260
will change. You know, I don't know projects, whether they hit the deadline, how smoothly

699
00:53:20.260 --> 00:53:26.300
things go, all of that will naturally respond to you because you're bringing in the kingdom

700
00:53:26.300 --> 00:53:30.540
of God to bring in. And then with that means that because you're at rest and you're centered

701
00:53:30.540 --> 00:53:34.980
in here and believing that God is, who says it? Yes. And that you are, who says you are,

702
00:53:34.980 --> 00:53:41.660
we'll bring in rest. You'll bring in peace. You'll bring in order and everything will

703
00:53:41.660 --> 00:53:46.820
begin to shift and to come into alignment because it realizes, okay, we're not responding

704
00:53:46.820 --> 00:53:50.500
appropriately to a son of God. Okay. Cause all of a sudden a son of God has come into

705
00:53:50.500 --> 00:53:55.580
our presence and it's shown up. Okay. Well, there's something in its very DNA that has,

706
00:53:55.580 --> 00:54:00.860
that knows how to come into alignment. And so it'll try, it'll have to shift, you know,

707
00:54:00.860 --> 00:54:04.860
around and figure everything out. So for a while, things will look like a mess and they'll

708
00:54:04.860 --> 00:54:10.940
eventually shift and come into alignment or they will choose and their aspects of creation

709
00:54:10.940 --> 00:54:17.380
can choose to not do this. They will choose to not come into alignment, either other people

710
00:54:17.380 --> 00:54:23.300
or I don't know, physical laws, or I don't know, just all kinds of aspects of creation

711
00:54:23.300 --> 00:54:27.180
project, a deadline, I don't know, whatever. Certain things can choose whether or not to

712
00:54:27.180 --> 00:54:32.660
come into, into alignment. They can shoot. You have the highest authority in the room

713
00:54:32.660 --> 00:54:39.100
that they have a free will to decide how they're going to respond. There is created and programmed

714
00:54:39.100 --> 00:54:46.380
within their DNA to come in alignment with, with the creator, because that's what you're

715
00:54:46.380 --> 00:54:50.740
bringing in. You're bringing in the creator. They know that they, they, they were created

716
00:54:50.740 --> 00:54:55.300
from that thing they created from God. So they know what that is. So all of a sudden,

717
00:54:55.300 --> 00:54:59.540
son of God, someone carrying his DNA, their, their frequency, so to speak, it's almost

718
00:54:59.540 --> 00:55:00.040
like they're vibrating.

719
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.560
version, whatever aligns with it.

720
00:55:01.960 --> 00:55:03.360
You're like, oh, I know what that is.

721
00:55:03.360 --> 00:55:06.200
And I know what it is within me that needs to shift.

722
00:55:06.200 --> 00:55:09.960
So they can choose to either shift into alignment, which most of it will, by the

723
00:55:09.960 --> 00:55:14.560
way, at least in my experience, most of it will, but every now and then you will

724
00:55:14.560 --> 00:55:18.280
actually have things that will choose to not come into alignment and God will

725
00:55:18.280 --> 00:55:26.240
either remove it from the situation or he'll remove you, but you're not called

726
00:55:26.400 --> 00:55:29.840
to be responsible by God.

727
00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:31.200
In other words, God doesn't hold him.

728
00:55:31.240 --> 00:55:34.560
Isn't holding you responsible for how creation responds to you.

729
00:55:35.960 --> 00:55:41.720
He's holding himself directly to creation responsible for what career for the

730
00:55:41.720 --> 00:55:46.120
outcome and he's old creation and he holds creation responsible for his choice.

731
00:55:46.600 --> 00:55:48.440
We're all responsible for our own choices.

732
00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:55.720
So you are not responsible for what happens when you bring in God into a

733
00:55:55.720 --> 00:55:59.520
situation, into a relationship, into a business, into a project, you're not

734
00:55:59.520 --> 00:56:01.840
response held responsible by God for that.

735
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:08.400
You are held responsible by God to be, to have faith that he is who he says that

736
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:13.880
he is, and to choose that he is that in your world and in your kingdom, because

737
00:56:13.880 --> 00:56:17.560
you're the King who's made the decree that whoever God says that he is, that is

738
00:56:18.080 --> 00:56:24.280
who he is going to be that, that he, we, that is who he is in our kingdom.

739
00:56:24.320 --> 00:56:28.360
That is the reality in which I exist in which we all function.

740
00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:28.600
Okay.

741
00:56:28.600 --> 00:56:30.200
Everybody, that's the way that it's going to be.

742
00:56:31.040 --> 00:56:34.760
It's the way that it currently is not will be as the way that it is.

743
00:56:34.760 --> 00:56:39.080
And I'm just telling you, so shape up and respond, you know, of course

744
00:56:39.080 --> 00:56:40.080
you do it in a very kind way.

745
00:56:40.080 --> 00:56:44.040
And I'm, I'm just trying to get a point across, but you do that.

746
00:56:44.040 --> 00:56:47.080
And then you also, you have to know who it is that you are and

747
00:56:47.080 --> 00:56:48.960
you have to stand in that place.

748
00:56:49.800 --> 00:56:54.960
Then everything else will get instruction of what it needs to do.

749
00:56:55.640 --> 00:57:01.800
And we'll shift based on its own choice without you having to

750
00:57:01.800 --> 00:57:03.600
instruct it and tell it what to do.

751
00:57:03.800 --> 00:57:05.040
Hey, I want you to move over here.

752
00:57:05.040 --> 00:57:05.880
I want you to do this.

753
00:57:05.880 --> 00:57:06.760
I want you to do that.

754
00:57:07.480 --> 00:57:12.360
Um, and it'll just naturally know how to respond.

755
00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:15.720
You're just, and so you're not responsible for the choices that it

756
00:57:15.720 --> 00:57:20.120
makes in, in the outcome of the impact of you bringing God and

757
00:57:20.120 --> 00:57:21.720
his kingdom into a situation.

758
00:57:22.080 --> 00:57:24.240
You're just responsible for bringing it.

759
00:57:25.200 --> 00:57:27.600
You're not responsible for what happens because you brought it.

760
00:57:28.120 --> 00:57:31.920
Uh, something that I wanted to mention also about dominion is, and especially

761
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:37.760
how this is going to, this, uh, plays out as you're trying to break through.

762
00:57:38.320 --> 00:57:41.000
Um, you get breakthrough in something and you're struggling.

763
00:57:41.520 --> 00:57:48.320
Um, I want to show you the difference between operating in, from a position

764
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:53.160
of power and having dominion as a king of your situation versus being a

765
00:57:53.160 --> 00:57:56.320
servant and a victim to creation.

766
00:57:56.920 --> 00:58:00.720
Uh, and that is whether we choose rule.

767
00:58:01.520 --> 00:58:05.200
In other words, to rule or we choose relief.

768
00:58:06.440 --> 00:58:09.560
Are we just trying to get relief?

769
00:58:10.120 --> 00:58:16.480
We just want this whole turmoil to stop or, and then we just, we just want to be

770
00:58:16.480 --> 00:58:20.920
say we're the damsel in distress and we just want to be safe, God, just make it

771
00:58:20.920 --> 00:58:25.800
stop, or are we going to choose instead, which is what God wants us to, are we

772
00:58:25.800 --> 00:58:31.920
going to choose to rule over this situation, rule over the, um, the fact

773
00:58:31.920 --> 00:58:35.880
that you're struggling the rule over your struggle, that's what I'm trying to say.

774
00:58:36.160 --> 00:58:41.560
Rule over your struggle offensively, meaning like on the offense, as opposed

775
00:58:41.560 --> 00:58:49.120
to the defense offensively approach this struggle, because it's based off of your

776
00:58:49.120 --> 00:58:54.920
choice and you're facing it and you're choosing to risk yourself by being

777
00:58:54.920 --> 00:59:00.400
vulnerable to the Lord, you know, et cetera, that is ruling it versus just

778
00:59:00.440 --> 00:59:04.640
asking God, does it wanting God to get out of your spiritual struggle by just

779
00:59:04.640 --> 00:59:07.480
wanting relief, just God, make it go away.

780
00:59:07.480 --> 00:59:08.520
Just make it stop.

781
00:59:08.520 --> 00:59:12.720
Just get me out of this thinking that by doing that, we're going to get breakthrough.

782
00:59:12.720 --> 00:59:14.960
You won't get breakthrough unless you're ruling.

783
00:59:16.560 --> 00:59:23.480
Um, if you ask for relief, what you will get, meaning like from a, from a victim

784
00:59:23.480 --> 00:59:26.560
mentality, there's nothing wrong with God with a guy.

785
00:59:26.840 --> 00:59:33.160
I've even asked the Lord for a relief from a struggle one time where I was, I was in

786
00:59:33.200 --> 00:59:39.840
the shower and I had struggled with him so intensely that I, for so long and

787
00:59:39.840 --> 00:59:45.120
destroyed, had like a bunch of issues that were, I use a lot of examples from

788
00:59:45.120 --> 00:59:48.480
work because obviously being single most of my life, you know, I spent like almost

789
00:59:48.480 --> 00:59:52.680
20 years, yeah, actually spent 20 years, you know, just working.

790
00:59:52.680 --> 00:59:54.240
And that's all I did was I worked.

791
00:59:54.840 --> 00:59:57.120
Um, I did not have much thought about that at work.

792
00:59:57.520 --> 00:59:59.160
Um, and.

793
00:59:59.640 --> 01:00:00.040
Uh,

794
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.160
And I was in the, I was in the shower.

795
01:00:02.160 --> 01:00:04.100
I'd just been struggling for a long time.

796
01:00:04.100 --> 01:00:06.660
I was weary and I felt, and I told the Lord, I was standing in the shower and

797
01:00:06.660 --> 01:00:10.980
I said, Lord, I feel like I'm in a pressure vise and that there's, and

798
01:00:10.980 --> 01:00:12.980
you're putting so much pressure on me.

799
01:00:13.200 --> 01:00:16.120
And you know, like what you're talking about, or one of you was talking about

800
01:00:16.120 --> 01:00:23.280
earlier, you know, sometimes you just kind of, oh, shoot, I don't remember how.

801
01:00:24.260 --> 01:00:29.700
How you worded it, but, but anyway, so I just told the Lord, I said, Lord, I

802
01:00:29.700 --> 01:00:35.220
just feel like I'm in a pressure vise and I just want, I just want it to stop.

803
01:00:35.900 --> 01:00:37.420
I know you're trying to teach me something.

804
01:00:37.420 --> 01:00:41.300
That's what it was that one of you had said that, um, you're just like, you

805
01:00:41.300 --> 01:00:47.660
know, Lord, I just, I, I'm so concerned that you're going to give me the outcome.

806
01:00:47.660 --> 01:00:50.260
I don't want, because you're trying to teach me something, right?

807
01:00:50.500 --> 01:00:51.500
We had that fear.

808
01:00:51.500 --> 01:00:55.180
I said, Lord, I know you're trying to teach me something, but I am just

809
01:00:55.260 --> 01:00:57.220
asking you to give me some relief.

810
01:00:57.260 --> 01:00:59.380
I'm asking you to make it stop.

811
01:01:00.700 --> 01:01:02.740
Boom, immediately.

812
01:01:02.740 --> 01:01:05.700
It stopped immediately.

813
01:01:06.380 --> 01:01:10.020
All of the pressure that I was feeling inside, it left now.

814
01:01:11.020 --> 01:01:15.420
The, I, I, I wasn't, that was not breakthrough under sand.

815
01:01:16.220 --> 01:01:19.780
I did not break through spiritually into a deeper level of intimacy, you

816
01:01:19.780 --> 01:01:24.060
know, with the Lord and, and, and gain greater capacity at all of that.

817
01:01:24.060 --> 01:01:27.540
It was like, God just suspended me for a while.

818
01:01:27.540 --> 01:01:30.020
And I don't remember how long it was.

819
01:01:30.740 --> 01:01:32.300
It was several months.

820
01:01:32.340 --> 01:01:35.780
I think I don't remember how long it was, but I think it was several

821
01:01:35.780 --> 01:01:40.380
months before I told the Lord, okay, Lord, you remember me asking

822
01:01:40.380 --> 01:01:41.900
for relief from that pressure?

823
01:01:42.220 --> 01:01:46.700
Well, I know that you meant really wonderful things for me out of that

824
01:01:46.700 --> 01:01:51.660
time, and I felt like I short circuited what you were doing and that I didn't

825
01:01:51.660 --> 01:01:56.620
get out of it, the benefit and all of the, that I didn't move into that new

826
01:01:56.620 --> 01:02:00.900
level of relationship and trust with you that you were offering to me.

827
01:02:01.580 --> 01:02:03.580
Um, cause I just learned, I just couldn't take it.

828
01:02:03.580 --> 01:02:07.460
So thank you so much for relieving me of the pressure because only because I

829
01:02:07.460 --> 01:02:12.460
asked, thank you for answering my prayer, but I really would like, you know,

830
01:02:12.460 --> 01:02:14.620
the more of you that you are offering.

831
01:02:14.980 --> 01:02:20.020
And, uh, so, uh, as I, um, I don't remember when I asked that, when I

832
01:02:20.020 --> 01:02:24.900
mentioned when I gave him that prayer, but whatever, but whenever it was, I

833
01:02:24.900 --> 01:02:29.140
know that the Lord then was like, okay, all right, let's, let's start on it again.

834
01:02:29.140 --> 01:02:32.260
You know, and I'll, I'll give to you what it is that I was, that we were

835
01:02:32.260 --> 01:02:36.140
working towards and I was offering you of myself, um, back then the freedom

836
01:02:36.140 --> 01:02:39.260
that I was inviting you into and the more of me that I wanted to give you.

837
01:02:39.900 --> 01:02:44.580
Um, but so I, I know what it's like to just beg for relief.

838
01:02:44.980 --> 01:02:52.420
I just wanted to let us, to make sure that y'all know that just that we're not.

839
01:02:53.180 --> 01:03:02.500
And I invite you to not just want it to stop that you desire more than that.

840
01:03:02.980 --> 01:03:10.620
You you're desiring more of God, not getting out of this.

841
01:03:12.100 --> 01:03:13.380
Um, now sure.

842
01:03:13.380 --> 01:03:18.340
Getting out of this is the French benefit, but, and you'll get, but.

843
01:03:18.980 --> 01:03:23.500
And, and you'll, you're in your focus and your value will shift to this so that

844
01:03:23.500 --> 01:03:27.620
even if this is still going on, it doesn't it, you're no longer in bondage

845
01:03:27.620 --> 01:03:31.660
to it, so it didn't bother you anymore because this is what you value.

846
01:03:32.460 --> 01:03:35.580
Um, it no longer affects you it like that.

847
01:03:35.580 --> 01:03:38.580
It no longer threatens you and you're like, whatever it can stay.

848
01:03:38.580 --> 01:03:42.580
If it wants, whatever, you know, you know, Lord, I just wanted this of you

849
01:03:42.580 --> 01:03:44.140
and I got this view and I'm so excited.

850
01:03:44.140 --> 01:03:45.340
He's like, okay, good.

851
01:03:45.500 --> 01:03:45.740
Okay.

852
01:03:45.740 --> 01:03:47.660
So now let's move into this.

853
01:03:47.660 --> 01:03:51.220
And by the way, this can't come with us because if it's not going to help us

854
01:03:51.220 --> 01:03:52.660
anymore, so we're going to get rid of that.

855
01:03:52.660 --> 01:03:54.340
And you're like, oh my Lord, no, it's gone.

856
01:03:54.580 --> 01:04:04.940
You know, because you no longer, um, you can't, um, it's, it's a little

857
01:04:04.940 --> 01:04:08.460
similar to the fact that you can't enjoy something that you need.

858
01:04:09.380 --> 01:04:10.820
It's the same thing with that.

859
01:04:11.580 --> 01:04:18.940
This thing is if you, if you need something, like I need this to go

860
01:04:18.940 --> 01:04:22.820
away in order to be okay, that's bondage.

861
01:04:23.940 --> 01:04:27.980
So what God wants to do is he wants to free you so that even while you're in

862
01:04:27.980 --> 01:04:33.020
this thing, you're free and you understand what it's like to be in

863
01:04:33.020 --> 01:04:40.860
situations, in environments, uh, in atmospheres without being in bondage to

864
01:04:40.860 --> 01:04:43.260
them, that's what God wants you to know.

865
01:04:43.260 --> 01:04:49.500
He's trying to continually show you who you are and part of who you are.

866
01:04:50.100 --> 01:04:56.260
Rick, uh, means that you, uh, is, isn't, is, um, be is living in freedom.

867
01:04:56.820 --> 01:04:59.780
It's someone who operates in.

868
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.920
freedom and rules over other things.

869
01:05:03.320 --> 01:05:05.280
You can't rule if you're in bondage.

870
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:11.760
So anyway, so now that you're no longer bonded to the thing, you know, and you're

871
01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:14.320
free and I was like, yeah, my goodness.

872
01:05:15.360 --> 01:05:17.280
You know, this isn't doing us anything anymore.

873
01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:20.440
So let's get rid of that because now I want you to move into this other thing.

874
01:05:20.440 --> 01:05:22.800
And I want you to have to menu never here and whatever.

875
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:25.720
And I don't mean, he's just going to like take you from frying pan into the fire

876
01:05:25.720 --> 01:05:28.680
though, sometimes, you know, that happens, but I mean, it's like, it's just like,

877
01:05:28.680 --> 01:05:29.760
Hey, let's move on.

878
01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:31.120
What else are we going to do?

879
01:05:31.320 --> 01:05:34.680
And you might in what usually happens, just like the Israelites going through

880
01:05:34.680 --> 01:05:39.280
the desert and going into Canaan, you in so often we end up going from this awful

881
01:05:39.280 --> 01:05:41.400
thing and the Lord, let's go with that.

882
01:05:41.760 --> 01:05:44.920
And then he's you're plopped in the middle of this paradise, you know, this

883
01:05:44.920 --> 01:05:48.720
wonderful, you know, season where like everything is lush and growing.

884
01:05:49.600 --> 01:05:55.600
Um, uh, so that is, this is, um, something I just kind of wanted to point out is the

885
01:05:55.600 --> 01:06:00.280
difference, um, when we're searching for, when we're desiring breakthrough from a

886
01:06:00.280 --> 01:06:03.560
spiritual struggle and a spiritual desert that we're going in, it's important that

887
01:06:03.560 --> 01:06:08.200
we do that to understand that the only way that you'll truly get breakthrough is if

888
01:06:08.200 --> 01:06:14.200
you do it from ruling over this situation, ruling in the struggle, instead of just

889
01:06:14.200 --> 01:06:18.320
trying to be saved from it and trying to be relieved from it.

890
01:06:19.200 --> 01:06:21.280
Uh, okay.

891
01:06:21.480 --> 01:06:26.040
Um, uh, okay.

892
01:06:26.080 --> 01:06:30.920
Along with having dominion, this isn't, well, I shouldn't have compared

893
01:06:30.920 --> 01:06:32.560
it because it's actually different.

894
01:06:32.560 --> 01:06:36.800
I just want to talk about the authority that you have pray in that authority.

895
01:06:37.240 --> 01:06:39.920
When you interact with God, do it in that authority.

896
01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:43.600
And you're talking about the importance that God places on struggle.

897
01:06:43.640 --> 01:06:43.960
Why?

898
01:06:43.960 --> 01:06:48.640
Because you're, you're each contributing, including you, each of you has a uniqueness

899
01:06:48.640 --> 01:06:52.480
that you're contributing, understand the authority that you have to make your own

900
01:06:52.480 --> 01:06:54.160
decisions, to make your own choices.

901
01:06:54.160 --> 01:06:54.440
And why?

902
01:06:54.440 --> 01:06:58.720
Because you have your own will to be able to make a decision out of right.

903
01:06:59.520 --> 01:07:04.840
So pray from that place, pray from the place that you are unique individual.

904
01:07:05.760 --> 01:07:12.600
That yes, you're one with God, but in certain aspects realize that you're unique.

905
01:07:13.040 --> 01:07:16.840
And so if you need to use the word separate, use that in order to grab a hold of the

906
01:07:16.840 --> 01:07:21.120
idea, you're unique, you're one with him, but you're, you've got a uniqueness out of

907
01:07:21.120 --> 01:07:26.680
the uniqueness, pray boldly to the Lord and remember, pray to him, remembering

908
01:07:26.680 --> 01:07:29.720
that you're his son and that you're a King.

909
01:07:30.600 --> 01:07:32.120
You're a King that he's teaching.

910
01:07:32.120 --> 01:07:33.240
You're not a King over God.

911
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:34.920
You're not a King who's equal with God.

912
01:07:35.400 --> 01:07:39.360
You know, but that you are a King and he's given you that particular authority

913
01:07:39.360 --> 01:07:45.840
in order to, um, uh, in order to, uh, to operate out of, uh, and faith, by the

914
01:07:45.840 --> 01:07:49.600
way, is the active ingredient in prayer, believing that God is who he says that he

915
01:07:49.600 --> 01:07:51.440
is and that you are, who he says that you are.

916
01:07:52.120 --> 01:07:56.960
So when we pray to God, we must ask boldly and confidently for answers

917
01:07:56.960 --> 01:07:58.520
to questions and for requests.

918
01:07:58.840 --> 01:08:04.200
And you can look at Romans five, six through eight.

919
01:08:04.840 --> 01:08:08.360
Um, so I recommend that you look that up in order to see all of that play out.

920
01:08:08.960 --> 01:08:12.760
Um, so the last thing I want to just mention just really quick and closing

921
01:08:12.760 --> 01:08:18.600
before I mentioned the practice is when we talk about seeking, remember seeking

922
01:08:18.600 --> 01:08:25.720
is seeking him, who he is, that's different than thinking about him.

923
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:31.000
So sometimes we can think that we're seeking so, but are you seeking or

924
01:08:31.000 --> 01:08:32.359
are you simply thinking about him?

925
01:08:33.040 --> 01:08:37.960
Seeking is like, is a heart posture and a yearning and a leaning towards

926
01:08:37.960 --> 01:08:40.399
him and then acting on that.

927
01:08:40.960 --> 01:08:44.240
It's seeking himself, not seeking to learn more about him.

928
01:08:44.439 --> 01:08:47.479
There's nothing wrong with seeking, with wanting to learn more about him and

929
01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:48.960
seeking out all of those answers.

930
01:08:48.960 --> 01:08:49.840
There's nothing wrong with that.

931
01:08:49.840 --> 01:08:53.720
But what, what's the purpose that can't be the end all.

932
01:08:54.399 --> 01:08:57.800
Because it'll either, it'll eventually you'll get to the point.

933
01:08:57.800 --> 01:09:01.479
If that's, if that's your end, all there's an aspect of it to which you're in bondage

934
01:09:01.479 --> 01:09:05.040
and God's like, yeah, I'm not going to have even revelation of me and insight

935
01:09:05.040 --> 01:09:07.520
into me, but your God, I'm your God.

936
01:09:08.040 --> 01:09:12.399
And so maybe he's, he's not going to give you any revelation for a while, you know,

937
01:09:12.800 --> 01:09:15.399
because he's like, nope, you got to lose that stranglehold on it.

938
01:09:15.600 --> 01:09:22.520
You need to seek me for me to be close to me, to have more of me, to be intimate

939
01:09:22.520 --> 01:09:30.160
with me, and as you have more aspects of me, you will experience and feel, and

940
01:09:30.200 --> 01:09:34.000
I'll entrust you with more revelation about myself.

941
01:09:34.000 --> 01:09:37.920
So just remember that seeking is not the same thing as thinking

942
01:09:37.920 --> 01:09:38.920
about God all of the time.

943
01:09:43.200 --> 01:09:46.880
So if y'all have any questions about what seeking means that I have that you'd feel

944
01:09:46.880 --> 01:09:53.080
like I haven't fully explained well, you know, let me know and then, okay.

945
01:09:53.680 --> 01:09:53.960
All right.

946
01:09:53.960 --> 01:09:56.480
So the last thing is the practice.

947
01:09:56.520 --> 01:09:57.800
So there's a couple of things.

948
01:09:57.800 --> 01:09:59.520
First of all, if you're wondering.

949
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.240
Well, talking about like seeking God and who he is and whatever, there's a lot of what

950
01:10:06.240 --> 01:10:11.000
it is that you're currently practicing, period, in doing the journal, you know, choosing who

951
01:10:11.000 --> 01:10:18.840
do you say that God is, and who do you say that he says that you are, and then how are

952
01:10:18.840 --> 01:10:24.600
you going to choose to live by believing those things and by choosing those things.

953
01:10:24.600 --> 01:10:30.360
So I wanted to go in a bit of a different direction for the practices today.

954
01:10:30.360 --> 01:10:37.360
I've been talking about things like the importance of the fact that of what God expects of you

955
01:10:37.360 --> 01:10:42.880
being relationship, being you offering your own unique contribution, the uniqueness of

956
01:10:42.880 --> 01:10:51.160
yourself to him, as well as dominion, the fact that you then have a uniqueness and a

957
01:10:51.160 --> 01:10:57.440
contribution that God wants you to, in operating out of his character, that he wants you to

958
01:10:57.440 --> 01:11:01.760
offer to creation, but we've been stifling that for so long.

959
01:11:01.760 --> 01:11:07.000
We've been forgetting and not realizing we were allowed by God or that he even instructed

960
01:11:07.000 --> 01:11:12.640
us to have that kind, to operate in that kind of authority and free will.

961
01:11:12.640 --> 01:11:19.480
We keep thinking that God keeps us, keeps wanting us to kill our will and God's like,

962
01:11:19.480 --> 01:11:21.680
no, I don't want you to kill your will.

963
01:11:21.680 --> 01:11:24.120
I gave you that to make decisions, right?

964
01:11:24.120 --> 01:11:29.040
He just wants us to submit our will to him so that we don't do what we want to do.

965
01:11:29.040 --> 01:11:31.040
We do whatever it is that we see the father doing.

966
01:11:31.040 --> 01:11:35.560
Remember, that's what Jesus did, but we have to decide to do that because he's not going

967
01:11:35.560 --> 01:11:36.560
to make us do that.

968
01:11:36.560 --> 01:11:37.560
Right.

969
01:11:37.560 --> 01:11:43.600
But anyway, so I wanted to kind of work on and help you all with learning to exercise

970
01:11:43.600 --> 01:11:48.040
your own authority and your own free will to make decisions like access that part of

971
01:11:48.040 --> 01:11:49.040
you.

972
01:11:49.600 --> 01:11:52.560
I'm going to take a bit for me to, to do myself.

973
01:11:52.560 --> 01:12:00.800
One of the things that you can do is this is a physical thing that you can do is you

974
01:12:00.800 --> 01:12:10.680
can, you need to connect with your authentic self, who it is that you really are, not who

975
01:12:10.680 --> 01:12:14.960
you think you should be or how you're trying to present yourself to be.

976
01:12:14.960 --> 01:12:20.760
When we try to present ourselves in a particular way, we speak higher, speak a lot higher like

977
01:12:20.760 --> 01:12:25.640
this and we're in, it could be because we're really insecure.

978
01:12:25.640 --> 01:12:32.480
We're wanting people to like us sometimes, as you can tell, and what I'm doing is I'm

979
01:12:32.480 --> 01:12:37.160
ending, I'm ending sentences and kind of like a question.

980
01:12:37.160 --> 01:12:42.720
Everything kind of goes up was why a lot of high schoolers will talk like that.

981
01:12:42.720 --> 01:12:46.400
You're going through a period of like tremendous, you know, struggle of insecurity and whatever,

982
01:12:46.400 --> 01:12:49.640
and they'll end a lot of, there's very annoying to listen to over a long period of time that

983
01:12:49.640 --> 01:12:55.120
they'll end a lot of when they're talking, especially with, well, when they're in an

984
01:12:55.120 --> 01:12:59.080
insecure setting, like for instance, with other peers that they're intimidated by or

985
01:12:59.080 --> 01:13:04.360
to adults, if they're feeling very insecure, a lot of times they'll end a lot of their

986
01:13:04.360 --> 01:13:09.160
sentences up is if they're, they're asking a question.

987
01:13:09.160 --> 01:13:15.840
Now I understand that in other cultures and languages that is normal, but in English,

988
01:13:15.840 --> 01:13:16.840
that's not normal.

989
01:13:16.840 --> 01:13:20.520
You go down at the end of it, at the end of a sentence.

990
01:13:20.520 --> 01:13:23.240
So that is indicative of insecurity.

991
01:13:23.240 --> 01:13:29.160
So it's important to make sure that to practice, you know, going down in sentences, not always

992
01:13:29.160 --> 01:13:33.860
going up, but also to shift down into your chest voice.

993
01:13:33.860 --> 01:13:38.040
So when you, if for those of you who are familiar with singing, you know that there is the head

994
01:13:38.040 --> 01:13:42.160
voice and there's the chest voice, and then there's the mix.

995
01:13:42.160 --> 01:13:46.840
I used to talk out and I used to talk out of my head voice all the time.

996
01:13:46.840 --> 01:13:48.600
This is, this is my head voice.

997
01:13:48.600 --> 01:13:51.680
And so when I'm really insecure, this is how I'll sound.

998
01:13:51.680 --> 01:13:55.400
And I may not realize that I feel insecure, but I'm wanting everything to be okay.

999
01:13:55.400 --> 01:13:57.880
And I'm wanting everyone to feel okay.

1000
01:13:57.880 --> 01:14:15.680
And I'm hoping that everything I see is coming across.

1001
01:14:15.680 --> 01:14:16.680
There we go.

1002
01:14:16.680 --> 01:14:17.680
Okay.

1003
01:14:17.680 --> 01:14:18.680
Hopefully you can hear me again.

1004
01:14:18.680 --> 01:14:25.600
But, and I'm wanting everyone to, I'm wanting to not offend anyone, you know, et cetera.

1005
01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:27.320
And so I'll talk up here.

1006
01:14:27.760 --> 01:14:30.400
But that's not my real voice down here.

1007
01:14:30.400 --> 01:14:36.720
This is my secure voice because this is in my chest and how you can find that is.

1008
01:14:36.720 --> 01:14:39.840
So the point is, this can be a scary place.

1009
01:14:39.840 --> 01:14:44.920
If you're feeling insecure and you don't feel that you have, you don't feel that you're

1010
01:14:44.920 --> 01:14:49.720
in a moment where you have authority over yourself or over a situation or whatever.

1011
01:14:49.720 --> 01:14:54.720
So the way that you can find your chest voice, in other words, basically you're where, where

1012
01:14:55.640 --> 01:14:58.080
I don't know how to describe it.

1013
01:14:58.080 --> 01:15:00.000
Just basically kind of like this center.

1014
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.240
of who it is that you are expressing itself vocally, that part, the way that you can find

1015
01:15:06.240 --> 01:15:13.920
it is just when you go, you go, that place right there, that I don't know if that's called a,

1016
01:15:14.800 --> 01:15:20.400
a tone or a, or a, or a note on a scale, whatever that is. You can tell that there's only so much.

1017
01:15:20.400 --> 01:15:25.680
I know about music. Both of y'all know more about music than I do. And that right there,

1018
01:15:25.680 --> 01:15:32.160
that is where your chest voice is. Try talking from that place. I didn't like it when I found

1019
01:15:32.160 --> 01:15:38.000
that the way it found out that the way that I was talking was not my normal voice because I,

1020
01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:42.320
I thought it sounded, I thought it was too deep and I thought it sounded too masculine.

1021
01:15:42.320 --> 01:15:47.520
And now I'm like, no, I'm perfectly fine. But back then, because I was used to talking up here,

1022
01:15:48.240 --> 01:15:51.600
as he's talking in my voice, I thought this sounded more feminine and more light,

1023
01:15:52.240 --> 01:15:58.640
you know, and, and I didn't like talking down here. And, but I've discovered that this is

1024
01:15:58.640 --> 01:16:07.200
where my authentic, this is, this is a, this triggers me being authentic in a situation

1025
01:16:07.200 --> 01:16:15.200
is when I talk from this place. So I recommend you trying that if you can test it for yourself

1026
01:16:15.200 --> 01:16:20.560
and see if you're already talking in that place. And then you'll also catch yourself periodically.

1027
01:16:20.560 --> 01:16:27.440
Once you have now heard that you'll catch yourself periodically talking high. And then it'll,

1028
01:16:27.440 --> 01:16:31.200
and that'll be a note to yourself. Okay. I'm feeling insecure in this situation.

1029
01:16:31.760 --> 01:16:36.320
I'm worried about something. I'm either I'm worried that I'm feeling intimidated or I'm

1030
01:16:36.320 --> 01:16:40.240
trying to make it somebody else. I'm not being authentic because I'm trying to live outside of

1031
01:16:40.240 --> 01:16:46.000
myself and make sure everybody else outside of me is okay with me. And you need to live from here.

1032
01:16:46.000 --> 01:16:54.720
And the importance of this is learn to be okay with you choose to believe that God says that

1033
01:16:54.720 --> 01:16:59.600
you are who God says you are. And then now that we're talking like this, act like it,

1034
01:17:00.560 --> 01:17:09.120
and that'll be less scary. You know, it can be, we can feel a bit scared by it, but it's very

1035
01:17:09.120 --> 01:17:13.680
powerful. It's a powerful shift that you can make in your life. So that's one of the things.

1036
01:17:13.680 --> 01:17:20.240
And then the second thing that I recommend is that you pick some things to do to I say, pick

1037
01:17:20.240 --> 01:17:25.280
some things to do throughout, throughout the day, you know, the next, I don't know, a few days before

1038
01:17:25.280 --> 01:17:30.320
the next practice or whatever. I recommend that you still do some of the other practices we talked

1039
01:17:30.320 --> 01:17:34.320
about. If you're struggling in those areas, it's so important. Please don't think, oh, you're

1040
01:17:34.320 --> 01:17:38.880
struggling in those areas and don't do it and try to avoid those practices. Because if you're

1041
01:17:38.880 --> 01:17:42.480
struggling in those areas, don't you want breakthrough? Don't you want to finally,

1042
01:17:43.040 --> 01:17:48.480
you know, to finally connect with the Lord in that deep way. The only way to do it is to do

1043
01:17:48.480 --> 01:17:52.720
the hard thing is to face it. Remember, that's what we were talking about. You have to face it

1044
01:17:52.720 --> 01:17:57.680
and you have to vulnerably expose your part, your, your, that part of yourself to the Lord.

1045
01:17:57.680 --> 01:18:01.600
And it's the fact that we've been holding that aspect of ourself in the Lord that we can't,

1046
01:18:01.600 --> 01:18:04.880
that we haven't been able to get breakthrough. And that has kept us where it is that we are.

1047
01:18:04.880 --> 01:18:09.040
And it's currently created the life that we're now living that we don't like, meaning like the

1048
01:18:09.040 --> 01:18:13.440
aspect of our life and how it's going or how we're feeling tormented or whatever. Right.

1049
01:18:15.280 --> 01:18:22.080
So, so this next thing I recommend doing in addition to those other practices is to enjoy

1050
01:18:22.080 --> 01:18:27.200
yourself, enjoy yourself while you're doing things. So I recommend doing a couple of things,

1051
01:18:27.200 --> 01:18:33.920
pick something that you enjoy that you don't. We talked about this in the community, in the group

1052
01:18:34.000 --> 01:18:40.400
chat today, pick something that you enjoy doing that you don't usually let yourself do. That

1053
01:18:40.400 --> 01:18:44.960
feels like a luxury. It feels like a waste of time. Like you actually feel guilty doing it

1054
01:18:44.960 --> 01:18:50.160
because you like it. Pick that, pick the thing that's hard, pick the thing that you don't want

1055
01:18:50.160 --> 01:18:54.480
to do because it's really hard to do because you don't feel good because you like it so much.

1056
01:18:54.480 --> 01:19:01.280
Right. Pick that. And it just, it's up to y'all as to what that is and how long that takes and

1057
01:19:01.280 --> 01:19:06.240
whatever. But I just don't want y'all to be intimidated by thinking, oh my goodness,

1058
01:19:06.240 --> 01:19:13.040
this is going to take a long time or whatever. Uh, you're, this is just you trying to give

1059
01:19:13.040 --> 01:19:18.320
something to you. You're wanting to get through this struggle that you have with the Lord.

1060
01:19:18.320 --> 01:19:23.920
And so you're trying to face those things. So pick something. I don't know how long you're

1061
01:19:23.920 --> 01:19:29.920
going to want to allow it to be 30 minutes, an hour, um, or if it's just going to be for five

1062
01:19:29.920 --> 01:19:34.160
minutes, but it's going to be an intense, very focused five minutes. You know, I don't know,

1063
01:19:34.160 --> 01:19:41.280
but do something that makes you, that gives to you, that allows you to express you make sure

1064
01:19:41.280 --> 01:19:46.800
it doesn't accomplish anything. Okay. I know that sounds really weird. If it's like a project like

1065
01:19:46.800 --> 01:19:49.840
quilting or whatever, well, obviously that accomplishes something, but make sure that

1066
01:19:49.840 --> 01:19:55.520
it's like something that feels like the accomplishment is simply because you feel

1067
01:19:55.520 --> 01:19:59.840
good that it's done. Not because there's any value in it. Make sure that it does.

1068
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.480
doesn't hit some kind of a value system of you, of yours.

1069
01:20:03.480 --> 01:20:05.280
That's what I'm trying to say by accomplish,

1070
01:20:05.280 --> 01:20:07.040
make sure it's done and accomplish something.

1071
01:20:07.040 --> 01:20:10.240
Make sure that it doesn't check off your list any sense

1072
01:20:10.240 --> 01:20:12.060
and give you any sense of value.

1073
01:20:13.280 --> 01:20:17.560
Do something simply for the heck of enjoying it

1074
01:20:17.560 --> 01:20:20.220
and only pick something that allows you to enjoy it

1075
01:20:20.220 --> 01:20:23.260
without feeling that you've accomplished something

1076
01:20:23.260 --> 01:20:26.360
because you're trying to act on the fact

1077
01:20:26.360 --> 01:20:27.920
that you're worth it

1078
01:20:27.920 --> 01:20:31.880
and that you are who God says that you are

1079
01:20:31.880 --> 01:20:34.400
so that you can realize you do have the value

1080
01:20:34.400 --> 01:20:37.080
and the authority that God says that you do

1081
01:20:37.080 --> 01:20:40.720
and that you have a valuable contribution

1082
01:20:40.720 --> 01:20:44.440
that God enjoys having when he's relating to you.

1083
01:20:44.440 --> 01:20:47.600
And so part of all of this is God,

1084
01:20:50.080 --> 01:20:55.080
is you experiencing what,

1085
01:20:55.440 --> 01:20:58.760
and you experiencing what God enjoys

1086
01:20:58.760 --> 01:21:00.520
when he relates with you.

1087
01:21:00.520 --> 01:21:02.280
Relate with yourself in that way.

1088
01:21:02.280 --> 01:21:04.880
Enjoy allowing that aspect of you

1089
01:21:04.880 --> 01:21:08.400
to express itself fully in something.

1090
01:21:08.400 --> 01:21:09.960
And then that'll give you confidence

1091
01:21:09.960 --> 01:21:12.600
when you allow yourself to enjoy yourself,

1092
01:21:12.600 --> 01:21:16.000
it'll help you realize, oh my word, I see God in me.

1093
01:21:16.000 --> 01:21:18.300
I feel God's delight in me.

1094
01:21:18.300 --> 01:21:20.600
I feel my delight in me and I feel God's delight in me.

1095
01:21:20.600 --> 01:21:23.200
Okay, wow, so maybe it really is true

1096
01:21:23.240 --> 01:21:28.240
that God enjoys having relationship with me just for me

1097
01:21:28.880 --> 01:21:31.400
for that aspect of me that enjoys doing this,

1098
01:21:31.400 --> 01:21:33.840
for that aspect of me that enjoys doing that

1099
01:21:35.200 --> 01:21:38.200
and just know that who it is that you are

1100
01:21:38.200 --> 01:21:41.200
is valuable enough and that's what he desires

1101
01:21:41.200 --> 01:21:43.900
and that's what he enjoys in relationship with you,

1102
01:21:43.900 --> 01:21:47.320
not that you're only as good as what you can do for him,

1103
01:21:47.320 --> 01:21:48.840
accomplish for him, et cetera.

1104
01:21:49.520 --> 01:21:53.440
That's what you're trying to establish for yourself.

1105
01:21:53.440 --> 01:21:54.920
By the way, doing this once or twice

1106
01:21:54.920 --> 01:21:57.040
isn't gonna cut it.

1107
01:21:57.040 --> 01:22:00.680
You're making a new life choice.

1108
01:22:00.680 --> 01:22:03.680
Meaning like you're choosing to now live

1109
01:22:06.160 --> 01:22:07.920
from a completely different perspective.

1110
01:22:07.920 --> 01:22:11.900
You're now choosing that you're living

1111
01:22:11.900 --> 01:22:14.400
in a different reality than you've lived thus far.

1112
01:22:14.400 --> 01:22:16.640
You're now living in a reality

1113
01:22:16.640 --> 01:22:18.800
in which everything that God says is true

1114
01:22:19.680 --> 01:22:21.400
and everything that he says about you is true

1115
01:22:21.400 --> 01:22:23.200
and you're now acting like it.

1116
01:22:23.200 --> 01:22:24.160
You're living like it.

1117
01:22:24.160 --> 01:22:25.960
You're living the reality of it.

1118
01:22:25.960 --> 01:22:28.080
That will then change your life.

1119
01:22:28.080 --> 01:22:31.720
It won't change simply because you feel better over here

1120
01:22:31.720 --> 01:22:35.600
and you did a program and you learned some things

1121
01:22:35.600 --> 01:22:38.280
about the Lord and the Lord met you a few times

1122
01:22:38.280 --> 01:22:39.660
and you had some good exercises.

1123
01:22:39.660 --> 01:22:41.000
They will not work.

1124
01:22:41.000 --> 01:22:43.480
What I'm giving you these practices for

1125
01:22:43.480 --> 01:22:47.480
is to give you something you can grab ahold of

1126
01:22:47.480 --> 01:22:52.480
to help choose it so that you can choose to engage

1127
01:22:52.800 --> 01:22:57.600
with your internal self with these truths that God said

1128
01:22:57.600 --> 01:23:00.640
that, hey, look, you are valuable to me.

1129
01:23:00.640 --> 01:23:02.200
You have a contribution.

1130
01:23:02.200 --> 01:23:03.360
You have authority.

1131
01:23:03.360 --> 01:23:06.320
I want you to operate in your free will, et cetera.

1132
01:23:06.320 --> 01:23:08.440
And so these are like some practical things

1133
01:23:08.440 --> 01:23:11.520
that you can do to help yourself engage with that reality

1134
01:23:11.520 --> 01:23:14.160
but it's only your choice internally

1135
01:23:14.160 --> 01:23:15.320
that that is who you are

1136
01:23:15.320 --> 01:23:17.680
and then you're continually making that choice

1137
01:23:17.680 --> 01:23:19.200
that's actually gonna change your life.

1138
01:23:19.200 --> 01:23:22.280
Not these practices or doing them just periodically

1139
01:23:22.280 --> 01:23:25.240
but what you choose and what you own

1140
01:23:25.240 --> 01:23:27.720
between you and the Lord when you do them.

1141
01:23:27.720 --> 01:23:31.680
And then the last thing about that whole enjoying yourself,

1142
01:23:31.680 --> 01:23:33.840
enjoy yourself when you're doing the normal things.

1143
01:23:33.840 --> 01:23:35.360
Enjoy yourself when you're doing the things

1144
01:23:35.360 --> 01:23:36.640
you don't normally like to do,

1145
01:23:36.640 --> 01:23:41.480
like changing a diaper or washing the dishes

1146
01:23:41.480 --> 01:23:44.800
or taking the bus to work or driving or parking

1147
01:23:45.560 --> 01:23:49.680
or working on a specific project or taking a shower

1148
01:23:49.680 --> 01:23:52.000
or whatever, whether you like to do the things

1149
01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:53.560
or you don't like to do things,

1150
01:23:53.560 --> 01:23:58.040
enjoy you and choose to live in the reality

1151
01:23:58.040 --> 01:23:59.960
that God is enjoying you in that moment.

1152
01:23:59.960 --> 01:24:00.920
That's what I did.

1153
01:24:00.920 --> 01:24:02.800
I think that I've talked to y'all about the fact

1154
01:24:02.800 --> 01:24:03.760
that I did that exercise.

1155
01:24:03.760 --> 01:24:05.800
I think I've talked to y'all about that more than once.

1156
01:24:05.800 --> 01:24:07.680
I did it actually right here in this kitchen.

1157
01:24:07.680 --> 01:24:09.760
I would stand at that sink right there

1158
01:24:09.760 --> 01:24:13.360
and I don't know, make myself tea

1159
01:24:13.360 --> 01:24:14.720
and then I would move over to the stove

1160
01:24:15.600 --> 01:24:18.440
and I'd make myself, you know, my peanut butter and toast.

1161
01:24:18.440 --> 01:24:21.560
And at the end, I had my little dog, you know,

1162
01:24:21.560 --> 01:24:24.120
about three, four years ago when I was here before.

1163
01:24:24.120 --> 01:24:27.880
And I would open the oven out after I toasted all of my,

1164
01:24:27.880 --> 01:24:28.880
after I toasted my toast,

1165
01:24:28.880 --> 01:24:29.840
because I didn't have a toaster.

1166
01:24:29.840 --> 01:24:31.840
So I toasted in the oven, I toast the oven

1167
01:24:31.840 --> 01:24:32.840
and it'd be in the winter.

1168
01:24:32.840 --> 01:24:35.960
So I'd open the door after everything was toasted

1169
01:24:35.960 --> 01:24:37.960
and I'd put Dawson with her little basket

1170
01:24:37.960 --> 01:24:40.440
right in front of the door because it opened doors

1171
01:24:40.440 --> 01:24:42.800
so that all of the heat from the oven, you know,

1172
01:24:42.800 --> 01:24:44.760
would hit her and she loved it.

1173
01:24:44.760 --> 01:24:47.160
And so it was dear, it was in this place,

1174
01:24:47.160 --> 01:24:49.320
it's in this room where I did that

1175
01:24:49.320 --> 01:24:53.240
because I felt so unloved and I felt not enjoyed

1176
01:24:53.240 --> 01:24:55.120
and I didn't feel that God enjoyed me

1177
01:24:55.120 --> 01:24:57.280
and I didn't feel that I enjoyed me.

1178
01:24:57.280 --> 01:25:00.280
And so I had to make very willful and intentional decisions.

1179
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.840
God says that that's true, then I'm going to live like it's true.

1180
01:25:04.040 --> 01:25:07.000
I'm going to be that for me. I'm going to engage with myself.

1181
01:25:07.000 --> 01:25:09.840
I'm going to actually enjoy myself.

1182
01:25:09.840 --> 01:25:12.200
You know, I would make these decisions.

1183
01:25:12.200 --> 01:25:15.640
It changed the entire trajectory of my life.

1184
01:25:16.040 --> 01:25:21.240
My lens from decisions like that and continuing to live like that

1185
01:25:21.240 --> 01:25:24.800
and choose that that was my new life, that that was actually my new reality

1186
01:25:25.280 --> 01:25:29.480
allowed me to then meet all almost every single person that I know now.

1187
01:25:29.520 --> 01:25:32.120
I've now, you know, that I'm in

1188
01:25:32.120 --> 01:25:35.800
current relationship in contact with.

1189
01:25:36.080 --> 01:25:38.920
I met as a result of making those decisions.

1190
01:25:39.200 --> 01:25:42.280
I traveled and had opportunities and lived in other places

1191
01:25:42.280 --> 01:25:44.280
because I made these decisions.

1192
01:25:44.280 --> 01:25:46.920
They all completely changed my life.

1193
01:25:46.920 --> 01:25:47.960
It moved my life.

1194
01:25:47.960 --> 01:25:53.040
Like I told you from, you know, pale pastel colors into technicolor.

1195
01:25:53.440 --> 01:25:58.040
It was doing the simple things like just choosing that goddess

1196
01:25:58.040 --> 01:26:00.800
who says that I that he is and that I am who he says that I am.

1197
01:26:00.800 --> 01:26:05.520
And acting like it, living like it, not expecting things to just kind of like

1198
01:26:05.520 --> 01:26:08.920
change, but no determining that they already were,

1199
01:26:09.080 --> 01:26:11.560
that those things were already true.

1200
01:26:11.560 --> 01:26:13.760
So I was going to live in that reality.

1201
01:26:13.760 --> 01:26:16.480
Now, I just hadn't been allowing myself to live in a reality.

1202
01:26:16.480 --> 01:26:18.280
So now it's going to live in that reality.

1203
01:26:18.280 --> 01:26:20.960
So hopefully those practices will be helpful.

1204
01:26:20.960 --> 01:26:22.840
If y'all have any questions

1205
01:26:22.840 --> 01:26:25.640
as you try to implement them or as you listen to this teaching,

1206
01:26:25.640 --> 01:26:29.280
you know, just let me know and enjoy this very special time

1207
01:26:30.080 --> 01:26:32.360
and the next few days with the Lord this weekend.

1208
01:26:32.560 --> 01:26:34.160
So anyway, I'll talk to you later.