WEBVTT

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How are you?

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How are you?

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How are you.

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I'm good.

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Good.

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I'm on my iPad today so.

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Oh, I love your hair.

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Oh, I love your hair.

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I love your hair looks so different.

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When my hair is down.

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So, and then also it.

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Loses all of its volume when it's a humid, humid day.

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And so it's just very flat.

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Beautiful.

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I love it.

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Thank you.

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Thanks.

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Oh, Priscilla.

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How are you doing?

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Yeah, I can share.

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How my weekend went. I, well, I reached out to you. I think on.

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Was that on Saturday?

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It was Friday because it was the day after our call.

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Okay.

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And I.

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I could feel myself going into that thing that I go into.

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I was so excited. I was like, I'm so excited.

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I was like, I'm so excited.

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And then it was that girl who randomly.

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Video messaged me on Instagram, which I'm like, wow,

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you have more courage than I have, but.

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I see after that, I started to like.

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Spiral a little bit, especially in parenting, like.

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All of the things, you know, that.

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I regret from when Monty was little. And now that I'm, I don't know,

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I guess I don't have as much as I used to.

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But I do.

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Arnold and I both.

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We both do.

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And anyway.

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So then Saturday I spent the day like.

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Watching chick flicks in my bed.

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Yeah, I had no motivation for life.

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And.

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Then by.

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By afternoon,

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I went on a walk.

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And I just talked to the Lord and I came back and felt way better.

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Like way better.

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And I ate something. Usually.

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If I eat something, I start to feel better, but.

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So then.

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I don't know.

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I don't feel like I necessarily like process everything perfectly or

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something.

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I just feel like I'm not doing it right.

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And then Sunday I felt like I could just,

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I could go to church and I could worship.

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And I felt like myself.

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And I felt like usually when I'm really struggling,

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I really internalize everything.

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And I feel majorly distracted at church and I I'm very held back.

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Like, that's how I feel. Like, I can't really see people.

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I'm just like, Hey, you know, and anyway.

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And then Sunday, I went to church.

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And I had so many good conversations on Sunday with people.

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And I'm honestly just feeling so blown away with.

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The people that got.

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I'd keep bringing into my life.

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And specifically on Sunday,

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I sat down with the girl that I was telling you about that.

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I'm going shopping with tomorrow.

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The one that left the Amish recently.

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And I had a conversation with her and she said,

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like, the Lord is opening the doors for her family.

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Now, like her sisters are starting to come,

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talk to her about stuff.

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And like, there's so much drama in her family.

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Like her dad is a registered sex offender, like major drama.

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And they're Amish like her family's Amish.

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And.

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Anyway, and she said,

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her sisters are starting to come and talk to her about stuff just since

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we talked. And she's like, she's able to like,

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She said right at first, she's kind of like, not sure what to say.

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She's like, I don't know.

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I don't know what to say.

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She's like, I don't know what to say.

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And I'm like, Oh my word.

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And she's a new.

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He's only been a believer for a year. Yeah.

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And anyway, so that has been really exciting. And yet,

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and I can see that she's kind of.

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She's in a struggle, but that she's also, I don't know.

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I just can relate to her in so many ways before she's at right now.

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Yeah.

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I was just reading a text message from my friend.

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Who lives in Florida. And she has just,

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we've been friends since we were like 17.

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And she just randomly was like,

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she just wanted to let me know that she moved out of her relationship

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like that she was in for, it's actually her, her baby's dad.

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But they were living together, but not like together.

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And she moved out and she just,

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I don't know what to say.

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house. And, and I started typing out that whole, like, I would

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love for you to connect with my friend, Ashley. And I don't

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know, something just felt off. And I was like, and all of a

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sudden, I'm like, Okay, no, I need to give her me. So I

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stopped. And I erased everything. And not I mean, I

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hope you take that the right way. I felt like I was

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completely

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okay. So good. I figured you would understand what I meant by

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that. And anyway, and then I erased everything. And I wrote

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something else. And she was like, Oh, my word. She's like,

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I could cry right now. Like, this is exactly what I needed to

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hear. And it was exactly like what she'd been struggling with.

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And I was like, Oh, my word. Anyway, so we're gonna talk more

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on Wednesday. But

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yeah, I don't know.

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But it's a huge thing. It's good. I think.

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Yeah, I feel honestly, like, when I'm honest, I feel like I

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haven't felt the way that I'm feeling now in many years. And

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like, you know what you said about in your video about how we

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need to be careful that we're not just trying to get away from

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something. And that's why we're trying to seek the Lord. Like I

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felt like that really hit home with me because I'm like, you

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know what, I do feel like a big driver for me has been like, I

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just don't want to feel depressed anymore. You know, I

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don't want to, I don't want to wake up every day wondering if

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today's gonna be one of those days where I feel like crap all

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day, or if I'm going to actually be happy and be myself. But it

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just really hit home when you said like, No, you need to

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actually be wanting breakthrough because you want more priced.

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And but it's amazing, because all those things happen when you

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have more price, but it really kind of shifts your perspective.

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The other thing, I don't want to talk too long here. But the

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other thing that I on my walk specifically, I was really

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struggling with this whole thing with Monty. And I was just kind

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of processing everything that you had shared and all about

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like, you know, when a son of God comes into a situation, or

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you know, depending on what you're, I don't know if you want

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to call it like your domain or whatever. It sounds like the

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Roman Empire. Have you guys seen those reels about the women all

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asking the men if they have how often they think of the Roman

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Empire. It's like a thing right now. But anyway,

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but I hadn't understood what that was about, because I

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haven't clicked on one yet. But I saw it come through. I was

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like, is that? Yeah, supposedly people ask about

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think of the Roman Empire, like multiple times a day. And I

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understand. He's like, he doesn't think about the Roman

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Empire. Yeah. So I don't know. You'll have to ask Ed. I've

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heard it even on radio in Norway as well. They were discussing

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it. Yeah. And then they're just like, Oh, yeah, all the guys on

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the radio. They're like, Yep, they were thinking about it. And

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so then they're trying to figure out what do you women think

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about? That's like the equivalent that we think about

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the Roman Empire.

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For me, like, Green Gables are like, you know, like the

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victory. You know, yeah, I don't know. Anyway, I think about

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that. I know. I was I asked Arnold, like, he doesn't think

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about the Roman Empire, whatever. But I was thinking

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about, okay, well, I'm, I'm a mother, you know, I have kids.

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And then, you know, and then I was thinking about creation. And

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you know, how we partner with God and all these things. And

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then I was thinking about my son, Monty, the one that I've

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often had really big issues with. And all of a sudden, and

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you can tell me, actually, if this is not who this is not what

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I should be doing. But I was like, you know what, actually,

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I was kind of thinking through this. I'm like, wait a minute,

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like, he is of me, like, he is part of me, because I gave him

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life, like, you know, the Lord and I and all together, give him

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life. So I get to tell him who he is. And I mean, like the

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God, but absolutely, I get to tell him who he is, and call

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that forth in him. And anyway, so even though it felt like

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really out of my comfort zone, and really, like, I don't know,

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I feel like I'm in such different sphere of parenting

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than I used to be. But this weekend, I specifically made an

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effort to tell him, just just tell him things like, I mean, I

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started out with saying things like, what would a responsible

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and caring and kind seven year old do in this situation? Like,

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I would ask him that, and then he'd immediately have the

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answer, you know, exactly what a kind and caring and responsible

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seven year old would do. And I'm like, Oh, well, then that means

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you are one. Anyway, and so that's kind of the language that

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I've been using with him the beginning of this week. And I

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feel like I, I've also been realizing how much that I was

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telling him who he was, maybe not even to his face. But like,

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maybe spiritually, I was, I was not telling him things that were

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positive. Like I was like, you're and these were things I

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was not audibly telling him keep in mind these were things. But

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like, you know, you're my problem child, you

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you do bad things. You just, if there's something wrong because

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of you, and those were, you know, the thing, and I knew I

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was thinking those things that I knew I shouldn't think those

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things, but I didn't know how to not think them. And yeah, so

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that's just kind of something I am trying out with my new

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whatever you want to call that.

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That's perfect.

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Yeah. And I also in my lady of the month, I do this. Actually,

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we know about this, but in my, I do a lady of the month event

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once a month where I post like three new videos with different

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topics. And this month, I posted like what I've been doing on my

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mental health journey. And I had another lady reach out and like,

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you know, wanted advice on how to journal and like so many

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women relating to what I shared. And yeah, so I did have a

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little bit of time to like, write down some things that I

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would like dream about in my business and stuff. But I, I

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don't know, I don't know if it. I found myself being like, I

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just want to not be bothered. Like, I just don't want to be

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bothered at business. I want to. I want relationships. And I

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don't know if that means within my business. I don't know. I

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don't know. So I'd wrote down some things. I don't feel like I

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got very far. I could I could maybe post what I actually wrote

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in the chat. But I don't know that it will give much insight

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into anything.

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Yeah, well, that no, that would be helpful, you know, because

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it'll, it'll just, it'll just start you out. It's a seed. It,

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you know, and, you know, because I started doing the same thing.

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Because I recommended that y'all do the exercise. And I thought I

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should do it too. Because it's been a while since I've done.

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And so I that because it's important for us to revisit it,

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because of course, we change and who it is that we got our

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together changes, because we will be developing our

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relationship with the Lord. And so that in the course of the

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development, change, which is all good. It means that there's

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progress, it means that there's spirit in it, because spirit has

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to always change. And in order to continue to be spirit. But

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anyway, um, so I was even doing it myself. And I only got, I

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didn't even get very far. I think I think that it's the

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multitude of reasons. I think partly it's that there's just a

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lot of a lot of stifling that we're not aware of that we're

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doing. And so that's getting in the way of us just naturally

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being able to dream. And so some some of that is going to be like

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a, like an excavation process, like, okay, let's chip away at

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this, let's brush that part away. And, you know, and, and in

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order to allow ourselves, give ourselves the courage to step

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into really dreaming without all those inhibitions. And, and so I

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didn't get very far either. But I got, I got, I got at least,

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like a few breakthroughs where I realized, Oh, my word, I've

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forgotten that that's what I want. I've forgotten that that's

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what it feels like. And I felt myself opening up again. And to

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draw me a bit to a bit of a similar place, to a much more

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similar place than I to where I was in April 2020, when I

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started this, because I've noticed myself changing, but I

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couldn't figure it, but I've been pursuing things in the way

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that I thought that the Lord was prompting me to grow, and

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giving me the opportunity to grow. And somewhere along the

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way, I took a left turn somewhere, and I wasn't quite

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sure where I was and how to get back or if there was even a back

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to get to and I was just supposed to always be changing.

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Anyway, this probably sounds very confusing the way that I

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worded it. I knew what I was saying, but it's probably very

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confusing to hear it. My point is, my point is that I need

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to, there were aspects in which I had locked down again, and I

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needed to release and I couldn't figure out where I'd where I'd

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started to lock down again. And Ed's been talking to me about

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it, because he'd seen it and I had known about it, but I

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couldn't again, I just couldn't figure out what had happened. So

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anyway, this process helped me start to let go again, and just

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start dreaming again. And, but I get but here's an encouraging

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thing that y'all can, that y'all can be aware of it. I think I

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talked about it in this past teaching, I'm not sure that,

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that y'all can take into not just this practice of like

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dreaming about business, but dreaming about creating other

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parts of your life, and then just doing other things in your

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life is that is do it from a perspective of what are you

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moving towards? What do you want, as opposed to what are

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wanting to escape from? Like, well, I don't want this. And I

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want to figure out what it is that I don't want. Instead, let

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that happen by default. And let the part that you don't like

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naturally go away by actually designing and creating what it

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is you do want. It's a much happier and healthier

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way to live life. I'm much happier. I mean, like overall in every area of my life, if

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I view life like that, if I view life from the perspective of, you know, I am all of

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these amazing, wonderful things that God says, but I am, God says, I'm amazing and wonderful

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thing. I mean, he says, I'm this and this and this and wow, those are all really nice

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things. Those are all things I'd want to be. And then he's all of these great and wonderful

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things as well. And so if I build a life off of those positives, as opposed to, okay, I

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want to be someone who's not like these things. And I want to live like God's not these things,

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like not all these bad things. I want to live like I'm not all these bad things. And I want

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to, and I, and that I don't act this way. And I want to live in such a way that I want

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my future life to look like God's not these horrible, awful things. You know, if we do

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that, we have a very difficult time, not only creating and building something positive,

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but our, our sources is very, our source doesn't have much energy in it. There's not much energy

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in the, in the negative to be able to like build the thing and to draw us towards it.

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We're just trying to escape this thing. We're like, I'm trying to be whatever this isn't.

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Here's all this. And so you've basically got is, where does it sound? You basically got

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a double negative, you've got all these negatives, and then you're just trying to negatively,

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in other words, resist that thing. And this double negative is not creating a positive.

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And when you think that it will, we think that we have this negative, you know, like

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in English, we have this negative, we're resisting the negative, we got a double negative, it's

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going to create a positive. No, that only works in English grammar. It doesn't work

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when we're actually trying to build a life. So my life completely changed when I did it

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from the perspective of not trying to escape the devil, and, and him and his attacks against

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me and watch for every way that it could be coming against me, or all these bad things

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about me, I was trying to fix. You know, from this perspective that there's bad things about

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me, I'm trying to fix or, you know, I need to stop believing that God is all of these

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things that I've been saying to myself that he is, you know, all of that is just, it's,

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it's, there's not much to give us energy to be able to build anything positive.

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So I just recommend always looking at it from, from the positive, and you're just being drawn

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by it. But the reason why we don't do that is like what we talked about last time, we keep trying to

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think that we keep thinking that the only way we can build on a positive is if we're denying

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that the negative exists, and we're not. And we're so afraid of doing that. We're like,

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well, I can't deny reality. And we're using that to keep us from focusing on the positive.

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Like, well, I have to remember the negative, because if I don't remember the negative,

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then I'm denying that that's true. And well, that's just not living in reality. And we have

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to realize no, no, you can, you can live in reality, recognizing and acknowledging that

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this negative exists, but not using that as any kind of a motivation for change.

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That's basically what I'm saying is you keep the keep it in mind without using it as a fuel to

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to build something or to grow or to give you direction about what you should change into.

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Well, I need to be the opposite of that. So I heard a man say, I heard a man say your last

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night on a on a video that I never watching. What did he say? He's a well known speaker,

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teacher and theologian these days, but I don't remember which one because there were lots of

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them being interviewed. But this one guy said he said we need to be drawn to we need to be drawn by

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the beauty of God's character. That needs to be our motivation for doing everything is to be drawn

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by the beauty of this character. So that's what you were saying, Priscilla, you know, we need to

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be drawn and motivated to move forward in our life by Christ, by who he is. So he's this good,

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he's this beautiful, wouldn't we want more of that? Wouldn't we want him to be more of that

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in our life? Wouldn't we want to experience the more that he is and all that beauty and everything

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wouldn't we want all of the beauty of that character to be coming up and out of us and to

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be part of the experience that we have when we interact with someone else is this beauty of

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Christ is coming out of us. And we are acknowledging and experiencing the beauty of Christ

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character and someone else or in the experience and then the fact that God's presence shows up,

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you know, so there's like this third party being that's there between us and this other person,

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there's a third party that shows that, you know, he's obviously God himself. And we're experiencing

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the beauty, you know, in that third party aspect as well. That should that should be our driving,

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you know, motivation for all of those things. So, yeah. And I don't remember what specifically

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it was that you said that made me think about all of that. But also, I loved what you were talking

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about with mom.

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And that is super if that's exactly what we do and then the fact that you realize that you're speaking things over him

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without

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Without talking to him because it's our beliefs

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It's not it's what it is

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We truly believe about something or someone that gets sent out into the universe because it's like it's and then by the universe

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I mean creation and then it's responding to that because we're we're that powerful. We're declaring things over someone

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That's like Adam naming the animals. That's you naming your son. It's just like oh well

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He's this and he's whatever and so the way to change that because people have asked me for years actually

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How do you change how you speak over your child?

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I'm like you believe that there's something different than what you believed

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They they are instead of instead of identifying them according to their behavior and how they're acting out and what they're struggling with

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And whatever believe that they are

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Christ

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that they are as perfect as he is that they were created out of his DNA just like we were etc and

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That that is who they are and speak to speak and interact with that person

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We and so I always tell people if you want your children to change you have to change

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You have to change and that will and then your children will change as your response to you because you're now being someone different

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With them and then they have someone different to respond to and you have that authority a very powerful authority

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in Monty's life more so than you're going to have in his future because he's at the age where you have that a

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Particular type of authority that is meant to protect him, you know and declare things over him, you know, etc. So

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So anyway, yeah, you definitely have even a more powerful opportunity to

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to be able to speak into and declare things over him that he'll

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respond to and react to because he's more vulnerable and susceptible to it because he's submitted fully to

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And even in the eyes of God and the eyes of Satan everyone that you have that authority

355
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over him if you don't allow something to get to Monty that they're not allowed to get to him kind of a thing and

356
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So anyway, you can declare all of those things

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Yeah, it'll have a much more powerful influence over your child than it will over someone else's child

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Or than if you were to do that or someone else's child or over a peer

359
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Because he's under the umbrella of your authority right now. So anyway, and that's great, you know, and he carries your DNA and whatever

360
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So anyway, that's super. I'm really excited for you

361
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But

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What was it well, okay at line with what I was talking about you were talking about, you know

363
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Just like you always wonder it's today gonna be the day that I wake up and I felt just bad all day

364
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You know or it's today or am I gonna feel good today?

365
00:22:52.100 --> 00:22:54.620
By the way, can you hear me? Okay with these earplugs?

366
00:22:54.820 --> 00:22:58.580
Okay. All right, because the people have told me that the microphone goes in and out

367
00:22:58.580 --> 00:23:02.100
You're gonna have to tell me I'm I'm gonna have to buy some new ones

368
00:23:03.380 --> 00:23:05.420
pretty soon and these are about

369
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Two at least two years old though, which I thought that they'd surely be okay

370
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But maybe they dropped in water at some point or something

371
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Anyway, so I think maybe they're three years old anyway

372
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You're talking about you know, not wanting

373
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What did you say don't have much of a will to to live or to go to go on?

374
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You know sometimes or whatever so we'll be talking more about this

375
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Next week

376
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But it's in it. I think it's at the actual actually it's the last session about owning ourselves and that's all about

377
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Creating taking up our authority to create to design our own life. We're doing it with God

378
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We're not doing it on our on our own

379
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But how to do it in a way their life actually changes as opposed to Oh

380
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Dreaming and it being wishful thinking and wouldn't it be nice if and I hope God will make it happen

381
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It's changing it from that for from that approach to actually a an authoritative a powerful approach

382
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Where things actually will happen they do happen

383
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And because you're actually designing your life and stepping forward in that

384
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and one of the ways that

385
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we have to the only way that that actually works is if we do it knowing who it is that we are and

386
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Then realizing you know that we are that God is not up there

387
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Just waiting until we do something bad or wrong or step out of line or you know step off the path and then swap us

388
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to get us back

389
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Because if we believe that God is like that

390
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Then we're gonna live our whole life. Just trying to avoid getting slaps, you know, and God just doesn't do that

391
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I thought he did and

392
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So my life became very small

393
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You know, it became a very, very narrow, I just didn't have a lot going for me.

394
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Things weren't moving very quickly in certain aspects, and just weren't moving very fast.

395
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And my, and my life, and like I said, it was just very narrow.

396
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It was like I had a, I was in a hallway that got more and more and more narrow.

397
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I don't know if either of y'all have been to Venice, but in Venice, the streets are

398
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like that.

399
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Some of the streets are so small that there's, that there's literally, it's literally just

400
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a shoulder width from one building to the next, and it has a street name.

401
00:25:39.080 --> 00:25:43.040
It's an actual street, and it's just like this big, you know, but it doesn't start out

402
00:25:43.040 --> 00:25:44.040
that big.

403
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From one, from one side of the street, in other words, for the part that the buildings

404
00:25:48.760 --> 00:25:53.800
are not perfectly parallel to one another, instead of being like this, they're a little

405
00:25:53.800 --> 00:25:54.800
bit like this.

406
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As you go into, it's like going into a funnel.

407
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So that's what my life was like.

408
00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:05.800
So not only was it narrow, it's got the further along that I went, because I then compounded

409
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my idea of that, you know, lie upon lie upon lie, that God was strict.

410
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And then I went on, and I felt that God was even stricter than that.

411
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And then I went on about God was even stricter than that, because I felt like I kept trying

412
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to so hard to do the right thing.

413
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And no matter how hard I tried to do the right thing, I kept getting slapped.

414
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So I kept it.

415
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That's what I kept thinking.

416
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So I thought, Okay, well, wow, it's even tighter than that.

417
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And you know, and then I get slapped again for something is like, Oh, my goodness, it's

418
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even tighter than that.

419
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And so my life just got so, so small.

420
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And I finally just busted out of the thing, I was like, Okay, this just isn't working

421
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for me.

422
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Everybody else seems happier than me.

423
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God seems to be happier with them.

424
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He seems to be blessing them more and apparently, I don't know how to do this.

425
00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:53.040
So I thought, Okay, let's just live life the very opposite of the way I've been living.

426
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I told God that.

427
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And I think y'all both know that story.

428
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In December of 2018, where like, everything hit rock bottom.

429
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And I told Lord, apparently, I don't know how to have a relationship with you.

430
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So until you tell me how to have a relationship with you, I'm going to do that.

431
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.640
I'm going to live life the opposite of the way I've lived thus far.

432
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And up to that point, I had, if I wanted to do something, I felt that that probably came

433
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:22.160
from the place that the Old Testament refers to as the heart is deceitful, above all things.

434
00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:26.680
So I thought if I wanted something, it was obviously bad.

435
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:30.200
And so I should always do whatever it is I don't want to do.

436
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Because whatever it is I don't want to do is the hard thing, because God told us to

437
00:27:33.320 --> 00:27:36.320
expect that everything's going to be hard, and that we're going to suffer.

438
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And he urges us to do the thing, even though we don't want to do the thing.

439
00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:43.480
So I thought everything that I didn't want to do is what was right.

440
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And so I didn't do anything I wanted to do.

441
00:27:45.520 --> 00:27:47.840
And I did everything I didn't want to do.

442
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And it was very repressive, very, and it built a lot of resentment and bitterness in me towards

443
00:27:54.440 --> 00:27:55.440
the Lord.

444
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So I thought, okay, well, that's a good place to start.

445
00:27:58.360 --> 00:28:02.120
If I said to live the opposite of the way that I've been living thus far, let's just

446
00:28:02.120 --> 00:28:03.120
start with that one.

447
00:28:03.120 --> 00:28:08.000
And I told the Lord, I mean, like, I talked to him in the living room, I remember where

448
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:12.680
I was, I was sitting on a couch like this, in another house, and I was looking over in

449
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:13.680
this direction.

450
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And I'm talking to the Lord, it's like, okay, God, I'm just warning you that this is what

451
00:28:19.960 --> 00:28:24.560
I'm about to do, I am now going to do whatever it is I want to do.

452
00:28:24.560 --> 00:28:30.800
And I didn't mean anything fleshly, like all of these sins or whatever I meant, I was if

453
00:28:30.800 --> 00:28:39.280
I felt like it was a good thing, I was going to do what I felt good about, not what I felt

454
00:28:39.280 --> 00:28:41.240
bad about, like drugs or something.

455
00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:45.240
But if I felt good about it, not that I felt that it would bring me comfort.

456
00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:50.240
If I felt life in it, I was going to follow that.

457
00:28:50.240 --> 00:28:52.520
And then I so I stepped into it.

458
00:28:52.520 --> 00:28:55.960
And I remember when I did, I stepped into that.

459
00:28:55.960 --> 00:29:00.440
And like, I actually acted out on it, I told God, okay, God, I'm gonna buy this, this consulting

460
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:01.440
program.

461
00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:02.440
So I bought this consulting program.

462
00:29:02.440 --> 00:29:03.440
And it was very expensive.

463
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:08.280
And I bought it without asking the Lord, I just told him what I was going to do, because

464
00:29:08.280 --> 00:29:09.280
I felt like it.

465
00:29:09.280 --> 00:29:10.280
So I did it.

466
00:29:10.280 --> 00:29:15.400
And then I told him, by the way, I am going to try to move to London, I'm going to build

467
00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:16.400
a business.

468
00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:18.000
And this is before I did like life coaching.

469
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:21.000
And what I do now, this is back when I was building consulting business.

470
00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:25.840
And I said, I'm with this new business, I'm going to move to London.

471
00:29:25.840 --> 00:29:29.600
And God, and I told God, that's what I was going to do.

472
00:29:29.600 --> 00:29:32.280
I didn't, it was like I was sharing a dream with him.

473
00:29:32.280 --> 00:29:34.200
I told him, Oh, by the way, I'm very excited.

474
00:29:34.200 --> 00:29:36.320
It's what I'm going to do.

475
00:29:36.360 --> 00:29:42.320
And, and I didn't ask him, if I could, I didn't ask him if it was as well, I just told him,

476
00:29:42.320 --> 00:29:46.280
I'm just giving you a warning, Lord, this is the direction I'm heading.

477
00:29:46.280 --> 00:29:50.360
He got so excited.

478
00:29:50.360 --> 00:29:53.640
And I remember again, exactly where I was sitting, I was sitting in a rocking chair

479
00:29:53.640 --> 00:29:54.640
in my room.

480
00:29:54.640 --> 00:29:57.360
And this was only like to a week or two.

481
00:29:57.360 --> 00:29:58.360
I think it was a full week.

482
00:29:58.360 --> 00:30:00.000
It was a week or two after.

483
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.480
I had had that other declaration for the Lord in the living room.

484
00:30:03.480 --> 00:30:09.000
So it wasn't that long later, and I'm sitting there and I told God what I was going to do.

485
00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:16.560
And I felt the Spirit just, it was like sunshine and joy just went up within me where I knew

486
00:30:16.560 --> 00:30:17.840
it was God.

487
00:30:17.840 --> 00:30:20.680
This wasn't me getting excited about my dream.

488
00:30:20.680 --> 00:30:21.680
This was something different.

489
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:25.480
I mean, you all know the difference between when you're getting excited about the Lord

490
00:30:25.480 --> 00:30:28.720
and when you feel the Lord in you, you know, and this was the Lord coming up out of me.

491
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:30.000
I just was so excited.

492
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:33.000
And I thought, that's where you were.

493
00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.560
You were in my dreams.

494
00:30:34.560 --> 00:30:36.640
You were in the things that make me happy.

495
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:44.240
You were in the things that I feel life in, that I have always like labeled as what feels

496
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:46.040
like it's a good thing.

497
00:30:46.040 --> 00:30:51.840
Like in me, I would label it as, oh, I feel like this, that this decision or this situation,

498
00:30:51.840 --> 00:30:54.560
I feel like it's good.

499
00:30:54.560 --> 00:30:58.240
That thing that I kept calling that, that's you.

500
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:01.360
You were happy about it because I knew it was me.

501
00:31:01.360 --> 00:31:05.600
But what I meant was that he would be happy about that, that he was in that thing with

502
00:31:05.600 --> 00:31:10.280
me, as opposed to, no, Ashley, that's you and God's not.

503
00:31:10.280 --> 00:31:14.600
And because, because it wasn't the Spirit telling you to do that, it was just something

504
00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:18.040
within you that felt good, it's bad.

505
00:31:18.040 --> 00:31:20.640
And I, and, and that's how I'd always thought.

506
00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:28.760
So the fact that it was this thing that I thought was flesh and being so, and I'm being

507
00:31:28.760 --> 00:31:29.920
so excited about it.

508
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:35.640
I was discovering God looked at that thing and got excited about that too.

509
00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:39.840
In other words, about me being me and me deciding what do I want to build?

510
00:31:39.840 --> 00:31:42.920
What do I want my life to look like, et cetera.

511
00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:48.080
Now, we always want God to do those, to be involved in the building of our lives and

512
00:31:48.080 --> 00:31:50.920
what our lives eventually looks like.

513
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:57.040
And so, and so as I, as I pursued that dream, did I end up moving to London now?

514
00:31:57.040 --> 00:32:01.800
You know, and I'm fine with that because I ended up doing something much more cool.

515
00:32:01.800 --> 00:32:03.840
I ended up traveling around the United States.

516
00:32:03.840 --> 00:32:07.880
Then I traveled around multiple other countries that I had never been to, and I'd been to

517
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:14.160
London twice by that point, you know, so, and I'd been to be, so I visited my, the country

518
00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:17.720
that I grew up in and hadn't been there in 15 years, I got to visit Turkey again.

519
00:32:18.360 --> 00:32:22.640
And then I visited Croatia and then I traveled around Italy for a whole month.

520
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:27.400
And I mean, and the experiences that I had in like visiting people, you know, I went

521
00:32:27.400 --> 00:32:30.600
up to Pennsylvania twice and all kinds of things.

522
00:32:30.600 --> 00:32:34.920
And then I met my husband on this journey, et cetera, it was just totally worth it.

523
00:32:34.920 --> 00:32:38.280
So I didn't miss the fact that that dream didn't happen.

524
00:32:38.280 --> 00:32:46.440
But the point is I honored something that I liked and, and I just, it gave me a direction

525
00:32:46.480 --> 00:32:51.240
with the Lord where, and I always tell people that because I've learned this in so many

526
00:32:51.240 --> 00:32:55.800
ways, not just in that way, but in other ways that we just get an idea and start dreaming

527
00:32:55.800 --> 00:32:58.920
with the Lord about business or what we want our life to look like.

528
00:32:59.600 --> 00:33:03.840
And this is all relevant, by the way, Priscilla, to what you were talking about with your,

529
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:05.480
you know, depression and everything.

530
00:33:05.480 --> 00:33:08.480
So I'll circle back to the connection in just a second.

531
00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:19.560
But the thing is, it's like when we, that God wants us to, wants us to dream and, and

532
00:33:19.560 --> 00:33:24.160
honor things that feel like they're coming up out of ourselves.

533
00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:30.400
And to realize that, that just because it's us doesn't mean that it's flush and doesn't

534
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:31.520
mean that it's corrupted.

535
00:33:31.520 --> 00:33:34.880
It doesn't mean that it's sinful or, you know, and bad.

536
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:40.160
And it's the source for, well, that's a little bit of a complicated thing, but I was

537
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:44.440
going to say, it's the source that we're using that makes something corrupted.

538
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:52.120
Are we using our own exertion and energy and like man sourcing it or using, using nature

539
00:33:52.120 --> 00:33:55.040
to make something happen or are we using the spirit of the Lord?

540
00:33:55.400 --> 00:34:02.600
But anyway, that's a, that's a detail we won't go into, but I, I just, the thing is that

541
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:06.640
when we get the dream or an idea about what we want our life to look like or something

542
00:34:06.640 --> 00:34:10.600
that we want to happen, it gives us a direction to start heading in.

543
00:34:10.840 --> 00:34:14.239
It doesn't mean that you're going to, it's going to happen and, and that you're going

544
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:17.719
to get there, but it gives you a direction between with you and the Lord.

545
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:22.440
And then you just allow yourself to be very flexible and to be guided by the Holy Spirit.

546
00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:25.000
And then you'll have this amazing journey along their way.

547
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:31.159
So the whole point isn't whether or not the thing actually manifests in reality.

548
00:34:31.159 --> 00:34:35.080
It just gives you a direction in which to head, to start out.

549
00:34:35.320 --> 00:34:38.320
And then, like I said, it's important that we allow ourselves to be flexible for the

550
00:34:38.320 --> 00:34:40.280
Holy Spirit to like move us along the way.

551
00:34:40.679 --> 00:34:46.639
Um, but the, the really big thing between me and the Lord in that moment was that the

552
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:51.840
Lord was, yeah, I had an experience with the Lord where he affirmed I was good.

553
00:34:52.639 --> 00:35:00.040
That things could come up out of me that he didn't tell me and he, and it was my

554
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.280
contribution, my idea. And he liked it. Why? Because my DNA came out of his DNA anyway.

555
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:13.600
So if I was the like, source is a bad word to use, but we'll use that. If I was the source of this

556
00:35:13.600 --> 00:35:19.360
thing, if I'm just like, Lord, I love this, this makes me really happy. He's like, that's great.

557
00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:27.120
Because that is how you chose as an individual in your own will to express the DNA that I put in you

558
00:35:27.920 --> 00:35:32.960
to appreciate the things that I created and the possibilities and the opportunities that are out

559
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:38.000
there for you to experience, for you to participate in, for you to free those different aspects of

560
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:43.280
creation from frustration. And so it's like, I love it. It's like, that's great. I'm glad that

561
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:48.560
you, that you appreciate and you just love those things that I created. And then we just partner

562
00:35:48.560 --> 00:35:53.440
with the Lord, you know, on, on, um, what the actual journey looks like and whether or not

563
00:35:53.440 --> 00:36:00.240
we actually get there or we end up getting somewhere else. But, um, anyway, so the reason

564
00:36:00.240 --> 00:36:07.920
I say all of that is to point back to, um, I reckon I, that I recommend that what you do,

565
00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:12.960
both of you, um, that Priscilla, you know, you were talking about this, like this

566
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:20.800
threat that you, that you feel of like, okay, is this thing going to come on me?

567
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:25.280
Almost like victim to something outside of you without outside of your control.

568
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:32.880
And I'm going to, so I'm going to articulate it this way, and it may not be accurate for your

569
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:37.600
situation. I'm just going to present some way in which some people that experience what you're

570
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:42.960
feeling, what's actually going on. So for them, what's going, and then you can discern whether

571
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:47.440
or not this is actually what's going on for you. So what can be going on is the fact that

572
00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:53.440
you, when you feel a victim to your circumstances, like this is the situation that you're put in

573
00:36:54.080 --> 00:36:59.520
these, you made certain choices to be in this situation. Some of these are your choices. You

574
00:36:59.520 --> 00:37:05.520
chose to marry this man, you chose that you wanted children. So you've got three, you chose this farm

575
00:37:05.520 --> 00:37:12.560
house, you chose this life, you, you know, you chose the business that you have and, um, you

576
00:37:12.560 --> 00:37:16.480
know, and all of that. So that we can acknowledge the fact that part of the reason that we're in

577
00:37:16.480 --> 00:37:23.440
the situations that we're in, that they're making us feel like, uh, uh, like traps.

578
00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:26.960
And I know that sounds like a really bad word, but let's just kind of use the words that,

579
00:37:26.960 --> 00:37:32.480
that our feelings register with. Um, we can level those things, but there can still be an element

580
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:40.400
of why I feel I felt trapped. And that's when we've given up ownership of our lives to these

581
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:45.840
things outside of us that were the situation that we're in. And we feel like we're being

582
00:37:45.840 --> 00:37:52.080
driven by them, that they are causing, that they are requiring certain things of us because I'm

583
00:37:52.080 --> 00:37:56.480
in this situation, because I have three kids, I had these obligations. And because I'm married,

584
00:37:56.480 --> 00:38:00.880
I had these obligations. And because I'm in this farmhouse with this, uh, you know, I think y'all

585
00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:05.360
rent, you know, I've got this rent. And because I am part of Lemongrass and the way that the

586
00:38:05.360 --> 00:38:09.040
Lemongrass is structured is you've got an upline and downline, you've got all these responsibilities.

587
00:38:09.040 --> 00:38:15.600
Well, I understand that it was my choice, but I feel, I feel driven now by it. So what's important

588
00:38:15.600 --> 00:38:20.080
is to take all the ownership of all of those things back and decide, no, this is your life.

589
00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:26.240
You're not driven by any of those things. And so what do you, and so it's like taking, there's

590
00:38:26.240 --> 00:38:32.080
another word besides ownership, but it's like, uh, taking back a charge of your own life and

591
00:38:32.080 --> 00:38:41.440
taking it all back and realize, no, no, no, I'm not under obligation to do X, Y, and Z. I get to

592
00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:47.520
choose and decide what I want my life to look like. So therefore, what do I want to do? You're

593
00:38:47.520 --> 00:38:52.000
getting, here's a practical example of how that plays out because we can still feel like, yeah,

594
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:55.680
but I have to go to the grocery store. I don't want to go to the grocery store, but I have to

595
00:38:55.680 --> 00:39:00.320
go to the grocery store. Actually, how is that me choosing something? So in a practical everyday

596
00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:05.840
example, it'd be something like you, you, you've got nothing in the pantry and you either have to

597
00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:09.680
go to the grocery, you have to go to the grocery store or you're not gonna have anything to eat

598
00:39:09.680 --> 00:39:16.160
that night. And so do you have to go to the grocery store though? No, we tell ourselves that

599
00:39:16.880 --> 00:39:23.680
because we're like, well, because if we're going to eat exactly, do you want to eat? Do you want

600
00:39:23.680 --> 00:39:27.600
your kids to eat tonight? Is that what you, is that the life that you want to create for you

601
00:39:27.600 --> 00:39:33.760
and your family? Yes. Okay. So you don't have to, that's the life that you're choosing to create.

602
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:39.200
So go create it by going to the grocery store, by doing what you have to do. But what we've done in

603
00:39:39.200 --> 00:39:44.640
our feelings and our perspective is we switched it around and because we want life to be a certain

604
00:39:44.640 --> 00:39:51.680
way, we're now obligated. We're not obligated. So do you see how we're in the same situation,

605
00:39:51.680 --> 00:39:58.320
but we've, we've given power to something else instead of taking that on as a power that we have.

606
00:39:59.040 --> 00:39:59.920
We're the ones who decide.

607
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.060
side. No, this is a life I want to create for me and my kids. So

608
00:40:03.060 --> 00:40:08.320
let's all let's put the let's put ourselves on the offense and

609
00:40:08.320 --> 00:40:12.300
go create that as opposed to, well, this is how it has to

610
00:40:12.300 --> 00:40:16.200
work. We have to eat and I have to feed them and we have to do

611
00:40:16.200 --> 00:40:19.220
this stuff as if it's being forced on us from the outside.

612
00:40:19.220 --> 00:40:23.640
It's not deep down. That's what we want to create. So let's keep

613
00:40:23.640 --> 00:40:26.860
that same mindset of like, No, this is what I want to create.

614
00:40:26.860 --> 00:40:30.940
This is what kind of life that I want. So let's go build that

615
00:40:30.940 --> 00:40:33.500
life. So I'm going to go to the grocery store, I'm going to plan

616
00:40:33.500 --> 00:40:37.340
I'm going to do whatever. So all it is, is you're literally doing

617
00:40:37.340 --> 00:40:40.780
the same actions, but this time you have the power back, as

618
00:40:40.780 --> 00:40:45.220
opposed to being feeling giving the power away and feeling run

619
00:40:45.580 --> 00:40:51.460
and and driven by obligations or expectations of other people or

620
00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:55.220
expectations of society or whatever. Does that make sense?

621
00:40:55.220 --> 00:40:59.060
That little tweak is major, but you're doing the same thing,

622
00:40:59.060 --> 00:41:02.260
same actions living the same way. But this time, you're

623
00:41:02.260 --> 00:41:06.340
creating life, you're not being driven. Does that make sense?

624
00:41:06.980 --> 00:41:12.700
Yeah, yeah, it does. And I feel like that's a big piece of the

625
00:41:12.700 --> 00:41:19.860
puzzle for me and I that I have been realizing and yeah, it

626
00:41:19.860 --> 00:41:23.460
really it helps a lot. It is like a huge perspective shift,

627
00:41:23.460 --> 00:41:26.700
but it also like, makes everything make sense.

628
00:41:28.060 --> 00:41:31.660
Yeah, so my point is, you decide the life that you want. There's

629
00:41:31.660 --> 00:41:34.980
so many things because I visited not only visited with you and

630
00:41:34.980 --> 00:41:37.140
known you for a while, but I've actually been in your home

631
00:41:37.140 --> 00:41:39.940
multiple times. I know the atmosphere, I mean, you know,

632
00:41:39.940 --> 00:41:44.980
it's very peaceful, it's very special, what you what your home

633
00:41:44.980 --> 00:41:49.620
is, you created. Why? Because you wanted that. I'm sure there

634
00:41:49.620 --> 00:41:53.060
are elements of it that you felt obligated to based off of how

635
00:41:53.100 --> 00:41:55.900
grew up or the fact that your family was going to come see it

636
00:41:55.900 --> 00:41:59.180
and there were certain expectations. Some of that is so

637
00:41:59.220 --> 00:42:03.100
ingrained and interwoven into into our decisions that we

638
00:42:03.100 --> 00:42:06.380
don't, that we have a difficult time extricating which part of

639
00:42:06.380 --> 00:42:10.260
what we want is expectations that we're just trying to

640
00:42:10.260 --> 00:42:13.540
fulfill so that we can keep the peace and avoid like conflict

641
00:42:13.700 --> 00:42:16.900
versus what we really wanted to design. So those things, you

642
00:42:16.900 --> 00:42:19.180
know, can just kind of come in time, but I'm just talking in

643
00:42:19.180 --> 00:42:23.620
generally, in general, you created that. So there's an

644
00:42:23.620 --> 00:42:27.340
element of way that y'all live that you've designed, you've

645
00:42:27.340 --> 00:42:32.300
built, because that's what you want. So you just live life from

646
00:42:32.300 --> 00:42:35.380
that. So my point is, if you turn things so that you live

647
00:42:35.380 --> 00:42:40.100
life from that perspective, then you won't feel so than just in

648
00:42:40.100 --> 00:42:45.780
general, you won't feel so like, oh, I don't have the motivation

649
00:42:45.780 --> 00:42:50.780
to live that live life and like, keep all of this stuff up. If

650
00:42:50.780 --> 00:42:54.020
you feel like it's a half to if you feel it's this obligation

651
00:42:54.020 --> 00:42:57.060
that's been forced on you. And like, well, this is what you

652
00:42:57.060 --> 00:43:00.220
have to do. Why? Because this is what mothers do. This is what

653
00:43:00.220 --> 00:43:03.940
God said. This is, you know, what everyone expects, you know,

654
00:43:03.940 --> 00:43:06.740
because if I don't, well, then da da da da da, again, those are

655
00:43:06.740 --> 00:43:10.540
all just so such negative motivations. If we choose

656
00:43:10.540 --> 00:43:13.820
instead, what do I want to create for my children? What do

657
00:43:13.820 --> 00:43:18.380
I want to do? The also the then it's, then you'll have more

658
00:43:18.380 --> 00:43:22.660
energy, but also the energy that you put into it is, is your

659
00:43:22.660 --> 00:43:25.300
spirit. And that's going to literally transform not just

660
00:43:25.300 --> 00:43:28.380
your home, but the opportunities that come up, etc. Because

661
00:43:28.380 --> 00:43:31.540
you've taken charge again, you've chosen No, I'm bringing

662
00:43:31.540 --> 00:43:33.660
in the authority and I'm bringing in my spirit and your

663
00:43:33.660 --> 00:43:36.380
spirit, just the presence of your spirit literally changes

664
00:43:36.380 --> 00:43:39.580
things. But if you've stifled your spirit and your soul's in

665
00:43:39.580 --> 00:43:42.660
control, and your soul feels driven, because it is it's being

666
00:43:42.660 --> 00:43:46.940
enslaved, well, then your your home life is susceptible to

667
00:43:46.940 --> 00:43:50.940
everything that it feels that is coming at it like an onslaught,

668
00:43:51.260 --> 00:43:54.540
because your soul is the one in charge. So basically, the spirit

669
00:43:54.820 --> 00:43:57.500
that has a higher authority and that has authority against

670
00:43:57.500 --> 00:44:01.180
Satan and all of that, it's absent. So all these things can

671
00:44:01.180 --> 00:44:04.140
happen. And therefore you it's like a snowball effect, you get

672
00:44:04.140 --> 00:44:07.100
worse and worse and worse and worse, you know, because like,

673
00:44:07.100 --> 00:44:09.940
as far as like, like the depression and the fact of like,

674
00:44:09.980 --> 00:44:12.580
Oh, my goodness, you like maybe even sometimes these things

675
00:44:12.580 --> 00:44:17.020
happen more often, like needing to go to bed for hours at a

676
00:44:17.020 --> 00:44:20.500
time, you know, or whatever, just to just to kind of like,

677
00:44:20.660 --> 00:44:27.180
rest enough in order to be strong enough to handle the lack

678
00:44:27.180 --> 00:44:30.140
of motivation, and the onslaught that you're feeling against you

679
00:44:30.140 --> 00:44:32.020
or whatever, it can get worse and worse worse because it

680
00:44:32.420 --> 00:44:38.260
compounds. So my point is, the re and I all of this, I'm hoping

681
00:44:38.260 --> 00:44:41.700
is sounding positive. I know you have to implement it. So

682
00:44:41.700 --> 00:44:44.500
that can be challenging. But because it's like, we're not

683
00:44:44.500 --> 00:44:47.540
used to doing it. But I'm hoping all this sounds positive and

684
00:44:47.540 --> 00:44:49.940
encouraging, because it means that you have everything that

685
00:44:49.940 --> 00:44:52.420
you need, that there's nothing that you're waiting on, and that

686
00:44:52.420 --> 00:44:55.740
you have permission to do at this moment, to boom, stand at

687
00:44:55.740 --> 00:44:59.580
this moment and do it. You have it within you. The challenge is

688
00:44:59.580 --> 00:44:59.980
we're not

689
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.520
used to our spirit leading, we're used to the flesh. So keeping the spirit at the forefront,

690
00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:11.920
living out of that is new and is a challenge. But the fact that not only is your spirit good,

691
00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:16.320
but it brings with it all of these good things that again, like I always teach about

692
00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:23.280
doing everything and rest, you, it does a lot of the work for you. So your flesh, like literally

693
00:45:23.280 --> 00:45:30.080
the activities that you do, you get more out of doing less. Like you'll do put less energy and

694
00:45:30.080 --> 00:45:36.480
effort into something because the spirit is moving ahead of you miraculously causing more to happen

695
00:45:36.480 --> 00:45:42.560
than you're actually putting forth the effort into. So it's like it like 10 times, 10 times

696
00:45:42.560 --> 00:45:47.920
is your effort or whatever. So it's like, there's the challenge, but there's all of these benefits

697
00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:52.480
that come with it. And all it means is that you already, you're already who you want to be.

698
00:45:53.360 --> 00:45:59.280
This isn't a, Hey, if you work harder, if you try harder, if you learn more, if you read more

699
00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:06.000
parenting books, if you do all of this stuff, then you'll, then you'll have, then you'll have

700
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:11.360
what you need. So this isn't a, you're in a place of lack and now you need more. It's that you

701
00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:18.400
already have it. And you just have to, you just do the challenge of choosing that over the other

702
00:46:18.400 --> 00:46:24.240
choice so that you can finally access it. And so it's hard to build the new habit, but at least

703
00:46:24.240 --> 00:46:28.160
you already have it. And what you have is good. And it means that you're good. It means that

704
00:46:28.160 --> 00:46:32.400
you're, you're already wise and that you're already knowledgeable and that you already have

705
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:38.000
everything, et cetera. So does all this make sense? Yeah, it does.

706
00:46:40.400 --> 00:46:43.600
Yeah. Let's see. What time is it? Oh, Annette.

707
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:53.600
How are you? Thanks for, Oh, so good to listen to all. I'm good at first. I mean, earlier,

708
00:46:54.640 --> 00:46:58.480
right before I listened to the message, cause I only got around to listen to it today. Cause I've

709
00:46:58.720 --> 00:47:04.240
I've my friend Christiana over. She's the one that I'm working with in LA.

710
00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:08.000
She's been in Oslo. And so she came here for the weekend.

711
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:16.640
So that was really nice, but that also meant I, I kind of didn't do the things that I was,

712
00:47:16.640 --> 00:47:22.480
you know, I got, I got put out of like my routine, you know? So like, Oh,

713
00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:29.840
um, but it was, it was, uh, interesting, um, in the fact that she had been in Oslo and she's like,

714
00:47:29.840 --> 00:47:34.480
Oh, there's these, uh, there's these people we should meet, you know, they want, they want us

715
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:44.320
to stop by and say hi. And I'm like, okay. Um, and it turns out is this like recording it's like,

716
00:47:44.320 --> 00:47:49.920
um, they're called Capella recording. And so it's this Danish guy who started this like recording

717
00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:55.360
studio with somebody else. And there were like 20 something people now, and they're doing a

718
00:47:55.360 --> 00:48:00.320
variety of things within music. And they were really interested in what Christiana is doing.

719
00:48:00.320 --> 00:48:05.600
And so we met them a lot of, um, cool people and they're like, Oh, you should, you know,

720
00:48:05.600 --> 00:48:11.920
we should collaborate. You should come just sit here whenever you want. And it's just interesting.

721
00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:17.680
Cause it's kind of like an open door and it was only, I don't know what will come of this or if

722
00:48:17.680 --> 00:48:22.000
anything will come of it, but it's interesting. Cause this morning before I took her to the

723
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:28.000
airport, I just looked at my notes and I was like, Oh, I've actually written down like a while ago

724
00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:38.160
that I'd love to have like a 50, 60%. I think I, I put down a 60% job within walking distance of

725
00:48:38.160 --> 00:48:45.280
where I live. Were you working teams with a lot of like creative people? And it's like a 15 minute

726
00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:50.560
walk from where I live. That's where they're all at. And it's all like creating they're like,

727
00:48:50.560 --> 00:48:54.080
but they all have other jobs on the side as well. Cause they're like, Oh, we're either,

728
00:48:54.080 --> 00:49:00.400
you know, like buying into it or we're hired, but like 50, 60% and blah, blah, blah. So I'm just

729
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:06.160
like, Hmm, maybe there could be something here. I have no idea, you know, but I'm just like also

730
00:49:06.160 --> 00:49:12.640
kind of desperate and just like getting away and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, so I could feel

731
00:49:12.640 --> 00:49:20.320
cause we did the sandbox, the sandbox exercise together. So I kind of like, so I did for me.

732
00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:25.600
And then I, I did for like, or we did for like the business to see, cause right now,

733
00:49:26.960 --> 00:49:31.920
just so you know, Priscilla, she has her own, she was working with like Taylor Swift and like with

734
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:36.640
universal and like all of these things. And she's been like major brands all, all the times, like

735
00:49:36.640 --> 00:49:43.520
major labels. But she decided to get out of that and like start her own thing because it was just

736
00:49:43.520 --> 00:49:50.480
like, she got burnt out from it and it just wasn't good for her. So she created her own company right

737
00:49:50.480 --> 00:49:58.800
as COVID started. So she literally like launched it in February of 2020 and everything shut down.

738
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.640
I that's when I met her at like a Nordic Oscar thing. And then

739
00:50:04.080 --> 00:50:09.480
she had written on her Instagram and said, Hey, does anybody know

740
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:12.440
anybody that would be interested in working or something? And I

741
00:50:12.440 --> 00:50:19.440
wrote her a message back just saying, Hey, um, I mean, um, I

742
00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:22.200
have zero experience in the music industry, but I would love

743
00:50:22.200 --> 00:50:25.000
to do it. So you know, I'm here if you want to. And she's like,

744
00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:28.960
Sure, totally. Let's talk. And I fully was just thinking she was

745
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:38.760
like joking. And, um, yeah, and then, anyway, so I've been like

746
00:50:38.760 --> 00:50:42.680
working with her on projects, but it's like not paid. So I

747
00:50:42.680 --> 00:50:48.800
mean, you gotta, gotta have to. I don't know, we just have to

748
00:50:48.800 --> 00:50:50.040
like, go with it.

749
00:50:51.600 --> 00:50:54.360
Curious what kind of projects she does in it? Like, what do

750
00:50:54.360 --> 00:50:58.080
you mean? Like, does she do like, recordings? Does she do

751
00:50:58.080 --> 00:51:00.960
like vocal coaching? Like, what? What do you mean to say

752
00:51:00.960 --> 00:51:01.720
projects?

753
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:05.600
was stressing and I'm like, Oh my gosh, like, what could this

754
00:51:05.600 --> 00:51:08.320
look like? Or should I buy into the company? You know, like, but

755
00:51:08.320 --> 00:51:12.520
I was so it became like this. I felt it was kind of like it

756
00:51:12.520 --> 00:51:15.000
wasn't an awkward goodbye. But it was kind of because I was

757
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:17.120
like, Oh my gosh, like, where do we go from here? You know, I'm

758
00:51:17.120 --> 00:51:21.680
just like this crazy, not crazy, but just like a very eager, like

759
00:51:21.680 --> 00:51:24.720
I just need to get away. You know, like, I will do anything

760
00:51:24.720 --> 00:51:27.480
to get away from the job where I am right now. Like, I will just

761
00:51:27.480 --> 00:51:33.640
move heaven and earth, you know. And so there have been some

762
00:51:33.640 --> 00:51:38.120
things where I can like dream with it and stuff like that. And

763
00:51:38.480 --> 00:51:41.920
so in that sense, it's been like a good weekend. And then I

764
00:51:41.920 --> 00:51:44.320
started stressing about because we still haven't heard back

765
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:48.600
from like the court. And then my cousin called me and she's like,

766
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:51.800
I like because I texted her saying I saw you called on

767
00:51:51.800 --> 00:51:54.200
Friday. Was it something in particular? She called me back

768
00:51:54.200 --> 00:51:57.800
and she's like, Oh, yeah, no, it was actually I got a phone

769
00:51:57.800 --> 00:52:03.880
call from somebody who had read the article in the paper. And

770
00:52:03.880 --> 00:52:07.520
they had called my cousin to confirm that it was about who

771
00:52:07.520 --> 00:52:11.520
they thought and she she was like, Oh, yeah. And then they're

772
00:52:11.520 --> 00:52:16.080
like, she did. She tried to do the exact same thing with our

773
00:52:16.120 --> 00:52:22.240
with our dad. And so yeah, so she's like, if they ever she's

774
00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:25.480
like, I wish I would have been in that courtroom. Like if they

775
00:52:25.480 --> 00:52:29.240
ever need a character witness to just testify as to what kind of

776
00:52:29.240 --> 00:52:33.120
a person she is like, so then I started stressing with the fact

777
00:52:33.120 --> 00:52:35.280
that oh my goodness, I should have known this I should have

778
00:52:35.440 --> 00:52:38.080
had her in court like blah, blah, you know, so I'm like

779
00:52:38.080 --> 00:52:42.360
doing all of these things. Yeah. And then I'm like, I just you

780
00:52:42.360 --> 00:52:46.200
know, and I've been eating really bad all day because I'm

781
00:52:46.200 --> 00:52:50.160
really lucky. So when I get my like, I was my friend that was

782
00:52:50.160 --> 00:52:53.000
here, she was like, Oh, no, it's so sad with church because

783
00:52:53.000 --> 00:52:56.680
it's like, they only do a once a month now. And it's generally

784
00:52:56.680 --> 00:53:00.120
that once a month where I can't move. She's like, as I get so

785
00:53:00.120 --> 00:53:03.360
bad, like with her period and stuff. And I was like, Oh, I

786
00:53:03.360 --> 00:53:06.760
don't even notice the only thing I notice is that I'll crave

787
00:53:06.760 --> 00:53:13.120
chocolate. And so I think I've just like, taught myself that,

788
00:53:13.120 --> 00:53:15.680
you know, where it's just, I mean, I will crave chocolate,

789
00:53:15.680 --> 00:53:18.640
but it's like, but then it's been like, Oh, so then you can

790
00:53:18.640 --> 00:53:21.640
do it like you never feel any pain. So you can just like, but

791
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:23.200
but you should do something.

792
00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:30.400
Anyways, um, so I've been eating really bad all day, just

793
00:53:30.400 --> 00:53:33.440
like, hadn't gone to the grocery store or whatever. So it was

794
00:53:33.440 --> 00:53:36.480
like chips and chocolates. And I was like, Oh, it's because I'm

795
00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:39.080
so stressed with everything going on. And I don't even know

796
00:53:39.080 --> 00:53:42.280
and blah, blah, blah. So I go out for a walk. And I listened

797
00:53:42.280 --> 00:53:46.280
to your thing. And it's just like, I don't know how to

798
00:53:46.280 --> 00:53:49.480
explain it. But it was kind of like the first time when it

799
00:53:49.480 --> 00:53:54.840
really just dawned on me that were spirit, soul body, like

800
00:53:54.840 --> 00:53:59.040
I've always known it, but I haven't known it. You know what

801
00:53:59.040 --> 00:54:02.120
I mean? So when I was Yeah, I do know it, but not known it.

802
00:54:02.120 --> 00:54:05.960
Yeah, yeah. And it was almost like just something like my

803
00:54:05.960 --> 00:54:09.960
spirit is like, it just clicked, like, in my soul or something

804
00:54:09.960 --> 00:54:12.080
where it's like, Oh my gosh, like, because I know we talked

805
00:54:12.080 --> 00:54:17.000
about this the last time. But it just really dawned on me

806
00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:21.680
that Oh my gosh, like everything I've been doing is like, to be

807
00:54:21.680 --> 00:54:25.440
able to blame God or something or like have him have control

808
00:54:25.440 --> 00:54:29.600
over my life. And I'm like, No, I'm actually a powerful person.

809
00:54:29.600 --> 00:54:33.560
Like I get to declare this, I get to like, believe this

810
00:54:33.560 --> 00:54:38.040
outcome is going to be like this. And even if it's not, God

811
00:54:38.040 --> 00:54:41.720
is still good. So it's not about the outcome. But I still get to

812
00:54:41.720 --> 00:54:45.880
like, so obviously, they're, I'm still like, I mean, this is

813
00:54:45.880 --> 00:54:52.040
very, like, new, but not new. But yeah, there are a lot of

814
00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:57.680
that's great. Yeah, I yeah, I got really excited. I'm just

815
00:54:57.680 --> 00:54:59.880
like, yeah, I went to the store and I was

816
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.760
because I'd been thinking about what to eat. And I was like, I

817
00:55:02.760 --> 00:55:05.920
get to make powerful decisions like I can buy like healthy

818
00:55:05.920 --> 00:55:10.200
food, like, those are choices I get to make in my life, because

819
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:15.880
I have the authority in my life. And so I need to act like a

820
00:55:15.880 --> 00:55:19.440
ruler, you know, and actually like feed myself what is good

821
00:55:19.440 --> 00:55:23.520
for me and not like eat like a victim that is needing to be

822
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:27.080
sedated by like things that are not good for me, you know?

823
00:55:27.480 --> 00:55:31.680
Yeah, like what we're talking about with Priscilla. Sorry.

824
00:55:32.240 --> 00:55:34.160
Well, like what we're talking about with Priscilla, where you

825
00:55:34.160 --> 00:55:37.080
make these decision, what do I want? Yeah, like, what kind of a

826
00:55:37.080 --> 00:55:39.520
life do I want to create? Yeah, that's what you're talking

827
00:55:39.520 --> 00:55:41.880
about. You're like, this is the life I want to create for me.

828
00:55:41.880 --> 00:55:45.360
And I get to decide that. Why? Why do I, you know, why am I

829
00:55:45.360 --> 00:55:48.520
deciding this? Because this is what I've decided that I want to

830
00:55:48.520 --> 00:55:51.520
design. This is how I want to live. I'm not being made that

831
00:55:51.680 --> 00:55:54.680
made to do this. I know that the research shows I should, but if

832
00:55:54.680 --> 00:55:57.360
we view it from the perspective that this is what the research

833
00:55:57.360 --> 00:56:00.080
says I should do, well, then we're, we're submitting

834
00:56:00.080 --> 00:56:03.600
ourselves to like this thing outside of us, and holding

835
00:56:03.600 --> 00:56:06.680
ourselves in obligation to do that thing, as opposed to

836
00:56:06.680 --> 00:56:10.120
choosing what do I want for me? And then how do I go about

837
00:56:10.120 --> 00:56:13.120
creating that? And it's a much more powerful way to do it. We

838
00:56:13.120 --> 00:56:15.440
don't feel like so much of the victim. That's great.

839
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:20.280
Yeah. Yeah. So I got really excited about it. I like wrote

840
00:56:20.280 --> 00:56:24.360
down things. I was like, Oh, wow. Like, I even wrote down

841
00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:28.000
like, I've been living with a victim mentality to be able to

842
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:30.720
blame God and not take responsibility for my own life

843
00:56:30.720 --> 00:56:34.680
and actions. Like, you know, I'm powerful. And I walk in

844
00:56:34.680 --> 00:56:38.520
authority with God. And I get to just see him and enjoy him like,

845
00:56:38.800 --> 00:56:41.880
without the whole like, Oh, I need my destiny. I need this.

846
00:56:41.880 --> 00:56:45.800
And it's like, No, I mean, yeah, but no, like, that's not what

847
00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:49.680
I'm seeking. So I don't have to like stress out about is it got

848
00:56:49.680 --> 00:56:52.320
to do with is it going to be with this or this or you know,

849
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:56.400
like, it's just kind of like, yeah. And that I'm responsible

850
00:56:56.400 --> 00:57:00.840
for my choices and my actions. And, and, but then I loved how

851
00:57:00.840 --> 00:57:05.120
it's like, but I'm not responsible for the outcome of

852
00:57:05.120 --> 00:57:10.480
how the rest of creation aligns with that. But I get to do like

853
00:57:10.480 --> 00:57:15.600
what I can do. So I was like, Oh, that's really cool. And then

854
00:57:15.600 --> 00:57:19.880
the whole like praying to clear from that side. So um, so I

855
00:57:19.880 --> 00:57:22.080
thought I thought that was really cool. And I'm like, Oh, I

856
00:57:22.080 --> 00:57:24.760
want to listen to it again. And like, I'm really excited about

857
00:57:24.760 --> 00:57:26.840
the next one that you're talking about. Because I think that

858
00:57:26.840 --> 00:57:33.120
sounds like it's going to build on that. So I'm excited about

859
00:57:33.120 --> 00:57:37.240
that. And I think the only thing I'm like, it's those like

860
00:57:37.240 --> 00:57:41.880
contradictions where it's like, Oh, I get to do that and be the

861
00:57:41.880 --> 00:57:45.320
designer and create my own life. And then at the same time, not

862
00:57:45.320 --> 00:57:49.600
take control over that and then be stressed if I don't know what

863
00:57:49.600 --> 00:57:54.000
business I want to do, or if I don't know this, you know, so on

864
00:57:54.040 --> 00:57:58.160
on. And that was also like, so it's funny, because she tried to

865
00:57:58.160 --> 00:58:01.440
set me up with this guy. And the three of us met and it was like,

866
00:58:01.520 --> 00:58:04.360
he's really, really nice. And then just starts to align for

867
00:58:04.360 --> 00:58:06.320
the rest of the trip. I was there. So I didn't meet him

868
00:58:06.320 --> 00:58:09.240
again. Anyways, I just sent him a picture of the two of us when

869
00:58:09.240 --> 00:58:12.160
she was here. And so we started talking. I was like, Oh, that

870
00:58:12.160 --> 00:58:15.480
would be funny if like that was but then, you know, and things

871
00:58:15.480 --> 00:58:18.760
just kind of like, it seems like it's just dies down. And I'm

872
00:58:18.760 --> 00:58:23.800
like, that's okay. Like, it's fine, you know. And then I think

873
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:27.480
part of me is just like, is that just me being used to be

874
00:58:27.720 --> 00:58:31.520
disappointed in that? Or am I just because I feel fine with it.

875
00:58:31.520 --> 00:58:35.960
So I, you know, am I don't know if it makes any sense. So it's

876
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:40.320
like, I feel like breakthrough in like the understanding and

877
00:58:40.320 --> 00:58:43.160
things just like dropping from my spirit and into like my

878
00:58:43.160 --> 00:58:47.520
heart so that I know. But then there are still some things to

879
00:58:47.520 --> 00:58:53.200
be worked out to ask to like, Okay, well, what does that look

880
00:58:53.200 --> 00:58:57.880
like in business? Does that look like wrestling it out and

881
00:58:57.880 --> 00:59:00.800
bringing the kingdom where I am? Or does it mean like taking

882
00:59:00.800 --> 00:59:04.040
responsibility of my life and being like, I don't like it

883
00:59:04.040 --> 00:59:07.040
here, I should quit and go to sign something else, you know,

884
00:59:07.320 --> 00:59:12.480
or like, Oh, I'm okay with, you know, nothing happening with

885
00:59:12.800 --> 00:59:16.880
this guy? Or is that just something I'm used to just like

886
00:59:16.880 --> 00:59:19.760
I'm used to, like, I'm used to being disappointed in that. And

887
00:59:19.760 --> 00:59:22.120
I'm used to just like eating chocolate, if I'm on my period,

888
00:59:22.120 --> 00:59:24.720
you know what I mean? Like, so there are still things to be

889
00:59:24.720 --> 00:59:28.760
worked out that I that I don't know, but definitely felt like a

890
00:59:28.760 --> 00:59:30.520
huge like, yeah.

891
00:59:32.080 --> 00:59:35.480
That is really huge. Because these things that you're talking

892
00:59:35.480 --> 00:59:38.760
about, those were the things that I was trying to get across

893
00:59:39.240 --> 00:59:44.040
in the rest intensive that I knew that there were people that

894
00:59:44.080 --> 00:59:47.040
weren't able to grab a hold of that. So I thought then I wanted

895
00:59:47.040 --> 00:59:50.840
a whole program that just focused on nothing, but these

896
00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:54.560
things to help people realize, okay, let's give people a bit

897
00:59:54.560 --> 00:59:59.760
more of like a bit more detail about how those

898
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.800
free as work so that they can actually, um, uh, get that breakthrough.

899
01:00:05.160 --> 01:00:07.280
So, um, so no, that is right.

900
01:00:07.280 --> 01:00:10.680
I am so excited because yeah, this is a very, very, very major thing.

901
01:00:10.960 --> 01:00:14.200
That's why this whole program is about who is God and who are you?

902
01:00:14.200 --> 01:00:18.800
Because it's that big of a deal when you realize that it's like this huge aha

903
01:00:18.800 --> 01:00:21.560
moment where all of a sudden you see life very differently.

904
01:00:22.880 --> 01:00:25.320
So it's, it's a, it's, they seem so simple.

905
01:00:25.320 --> 01:00:26.480
It's like, well, we're going to talk about this.

906
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:27.280
We're going to talk about that.

907
01:00:27.280 --> 01:00:29.040
And I'm like, I know, but it's like everything.

908
01:00:29.800 --> 01:00:31.920
That will completely change the trajectory of your life.

909
01:00:31.920 --> 01:00:33.040
Just knowing those things.

910
01:00:33.440 --> 01:00:38.040
So that is like Priscilla mentioned in the chat, it's huge.

911
01:00:38.200 --> 01:00:38.960
It's huge.

912
01:00:39.400 --> 01:00:43.400
And before we go on, um, the whole, the internet froze.

913
01:00:43.640 --> 01:00:46.520
And so you didn't hear Priscilla asking this question.

914
01:00:46.520 --> 01:00:48.440
So she asked it again in the chat.

915
01:00:48.800 --> 01:00:50.360
I was wondering the same thing.

916
01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:53.600
Um, what kind of projects that your friend works on?

917
01:00:53.600 --> 01:00:55.560
Is that vocal coaching, recording your songwriting?

918
01:00:56.440 --> 01:00:59.320
Oh, so it's actually, so she's a manager.

919
01:00:59.320 --> 01:01:03.600
So she'll manage artists, but then she has, so it's called do less management.

920
01:01:03.600 --> 01:01:05.280
And then she's also consulting.

921
01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:09.320
So she's consulting artists that want to maybe like break into a new.

922
01:01:09.760 --> 01:01:11.880
Field or if they want to get started.

923
01:01:12.200 --> 01:01:17.640
Um, she's working with music Norway for artists here that want to maybe try to

924
01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:22.160
break into the American market and vice versa, like, so have like collaborations

925
01:01:22.160 --> 01:01:28.080
there, what we want to do, we want to create a label, uh, to be able to like

926
01:01:28.080 --> 01:01:29.680
release songs and we'd love to.

927
01:01:29.680 --> 01:01:32.000
So we, we also do these songwriting.

928
01:01:32.480 --> 01:01:39.160
Camps where you like bring writers and singers and producers together.

929
01:01:39.160 --> 01:01:42.400
So we did one, I was like, Oh, we should do Christmas in July.

930
01:01:42.760 --> 01:01:46.680
I sadly wasn't able to be there, but it's like, you need to make the Christmas

931
01:01:46.680 --> 01:01:52.520
music in July to be able to place them in the Christmas music films that are going to

932
01:01:52.520 --> 01:01:52.920
come out.

933
01:01:52.920 --> 01:01:53.280
Right.

934
01:01:53.280 --> 01:01:55.360
So it's stuff like that.

935
01:01:55.400 --> 01:02:01.600
And then, um, she also has like do less productions because her husband is, he's

936
01:02:01.600 --> 01:02:04.000
like a DP and he does photography and everything.

937
01:02:04.000 --> 01:02:08.400
So he does a lot for like commercials, but music video and regular, like he's a, he's

938
01:02:08.400 --> 01:02:09.680
a writer as well.

939
01:02:09.680 --> 01:02:13.040
So, um, lots of things going on.

940
01:02:13.040 --> 01:02:15.640
So it's like, but, uh, we're friends with Jason.

941
01:02:15.640 --> 01:02:17.520
Who's an amazing vocal coach.

942
01:02:17.520 --> 01:02:18.360
So, yeah.

943
01:02:19.040 --> 01:02:26.600
Um, so all the things, so just, um, send me a chat and very cool.

944
01:02:26.640 --> 01:02:27.400
I'll turn at you.

945
01:02:27.440 --> 01:02:27.720
Yeah.

946
01:02:29.080 --> 01:02:32.440
Um, so, uh, what was I going to say now?

947
01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:33.440
I forgot.

948
01:02:33.720 --> 01:02:34.520
That's what I was going to say.

949
01:02:34.520 --> 01:02:38.560
You were talking about, Oh, so you were talking about like dreaming, you know, in a

950
01:02:38.560 --> 01:02:39.720
sandbox and whatever.

951
01:02:39.720 --> 01:02:43.080
And so you said that you did it with by yourself and you did it with your friend.

952
01:02:43.440 --> 01:02:50.240
And then you're wondering, you know, how to, uh, like how to move forward in

953
01:02:50.240 --> 01:02:56.320
knowing that you are who God says that you are and that you have a contribution.

954
01:02:56.320 --> 01:03:00.840
And in other words, you have a, um, what do you call it?

955
01:03:00.880 --> 01:03:06.920
You, you have a, uh, I don't know you, you, you have something to bring to the

956
01:03:06.920 --> 01:03:11.240
table as opposed to just, okay, God, what am I supposed to do?

957
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:15.840
It's you and God collaborating together on what it is that you should do.

958
01:03:15.840 --> 01:03:22.640
Now, he always has the, um, always carries more weight in the conversation

959
01:03:22.640 --> 01:03:25.880
and in the final decision, it's basically up to him to make the final decision,

960
01:03:25.880 --> 01:03:28.800
you know, kind of like, Oh, the husband and wife and being in submission.

961
01:03:29.280 --> 01:03:33.160
It's like, there's a, there's a joint effort of, Hey, we're living this life

962
01:03:33.200 --> 01:03:40.520
together, but someone has to be, has to carry the responsibility and

963
01:03:40.520 --> 01:03:42.160
accountability of the decision.

964
01:03:42.840 --> 01:03:44.160
And so that's the husband.

965
01:03:44.160 --> 01:03:48.320
So that's why we, as wives are called to submit, we get to, we get to

966
01:03:48.320 --> 01:03:53.920
contribute towards the ideas, but we also, but while the husband does make

967
01:03:53.920 --> 01:03:58.440
the final decision, like, okay, we're going to do this or, you know, you know,

968
01:03:58.440 --> 01:04:01.800
why you said this though, we're going to go with what you say this time.

969
01:04:02.160 --> 01:04:04.760
Either one, he's the one that's held responsible for that.

970
01:04:05.040 --> 01:04:08.000
So it's the same thing between, um, between us and the Lord is he's

971
01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:09.240
the one responsible for it.

972
01:04:09.240 --> 01:04:13.120
So he has the final say, he carries the most amount of weight, but what he's

973
01:04:13.120 --> 01:04:18.360
trying to do with us and why he says that we have a contribution is the fact that

974
01:04:18.920 --> 01:04:28.360
we, um, uh, we, he's trying to teach us how to make decisions out of his and our

975
01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:32.080
character because our character is his character and he's trying to teach us

976
01:04:32.080 --> 01:04:34.080
how do we make decisions from that place?

977
01:04:34.400 --> 01:04:36.000
And so he matures this in that.

978
01:04:36.240 --> 01:04:40.320
So it's a, it's not a, it's a little bit of a challenging.

979
01:04:41.040 --> 01:04:48.560
Uh, question to answer because it, it, um, it's just individual based on our

980
01:04:48.560 --> 01:04:51.840
relationship with the Lord and where it is that we currently are on our journey

981
01:04:51.840 --> 01:04:56.720
with the Lord, like, and the particular situation, the particular character that

982
01:04:56.720 --> 01:04:59.920
it's the aspect of our character and his character that was calling on.

983
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.600
know, etc. But, but anyway, so but the thing is about the about

984
01:05:06.600 --> 01:05:09.120
the sandbox thing, it's really cool, because you just kind of

985
01:05:09.120 --> 01:05:16.680
like let go of any of what does God's? What does necessarily?

986
01:05:17.040 --> 01:05:19.680
What is God saying? Because you're not making a decision.

987
01:05:20.320 --> 01:05:23.080
You're you're just dreaming, and you're coming up with stuff,

988
01:05:23.080 --> 01:05:26.120
you're like, allowing all of the stuff that's in you to come out.

989
01:05:26.440 --> 01:05:30.560
And then you put it through the filter of discernment between

990
01:05:30.560 --> 01:05:33.240
you and the Lord of like, okay, what aspect is this? How does

991
01:05:33.240 --> 01:05:37.000
God feel about these different parts? Yeah, before we know how

992
01:05:37.000 --> 01:05:41.040
we're going to decide together what we're going to actually do.

993
01:05:41.200 --> 01:05:43.800
So that's something that I do. And so when I talk about, you

994
01:05:43.800 --> 01:05:49.960
know, dreaming in a sandbox, I, and I, when I talk about like

995
01:05:49.960 --> 01:05:53.680
having dreaming outside of like, without limits, you know,

996
01:05:53.680 --> 01:05:56.880
outside of like, well, this is how business works in versus it

997
01:05:56.880 --> 01:05:59.320
doesn't work like that, you know, just like, okay, we'll put

998
01:05:59.320 --> 01:06:02.640
that to the wind, suspend that reality for a minute, one of the

999
01:06:02.640 --> 01:06:06.960
realities that we suspend, so to speak, is what does God want?

1000
01:06:07.360 --> 01:06:12.520
What is God saying? That's too much for us to try to think of

1001
01:06:12.520 --> 01:06:15.440
all at the same time is what is it that I want? And what is it

1002
01:06:15.440 --> 01:06:21.240
that he wants now as we come? As we mature, in our ability to do

1003
01:06:21.240 --> 01:06:23.640
this, we'll be able to do them at the same time, we'll be

1004
01:06:23.640 --> 01:06:27.320
able to feel what we're feeling and we're contributing. And what

1005
01:06:27.320 --> 01:06:29.680
God's saying, and we'll be able to do it at the same time. But

1006
01:06:29.680 --> 01:06:34.440
when we're learning about how to stop stifling us, we can just

1007
01:06:34.440 --> 01:06:37.960
concentrate on one thing at a time. So you just have so one of

1008
01:06:37.960 --> 01:06:42.080
the realities that you suspend is what does God want? Now, I

1009
01:06:42.080 --> 01:06:51.320
always try to I always do it. I always I always dream with him.

1010
01:06:51.600 --> 01:06:54.640
So it's like I bring his presence in and I dream in his

1011
01:06:54.640 --> 01:06:58.560
presence. But I don't try to figure out everything all at

1012
01:06:58.560 --> 01:07:01.160
once, like, oh, this is what I want to do, God, what do you

1013
01:07:01.160 --> 01:07:04.680
think about it? I don't do that all at the same time. It's too

1014
01:07:04.680 --> 01:07:07.800
it's too much, because it's almost like multitasking. It's

1015
01:07:07.800 --> 01:07:11.320
like, I if I do that about this, and then I think about a

1016
01:07:11.320 --> 01:07:14.560
different aspect of the dream, it's hard for me to shift from

1017
01:07:14.720 --> 01:07:17.640
asking God what he wants, and then now shifting back into

1018
01:07:17.640 --> 01:07:20.840
finding myself again, and what it is that I want. And now let's

1019
01:07:20.840 --> 01:07:23.480
move to a different part of the dream list. Let's dream like,

1020
01:07:23.520 --> 01:07:26.440
okay, about a different aspect of the business. It's hard to

1021
01:07:26.440 --> 01:07:29.880
like shift, you know, back and forth between what is God

1022
01:07:29.880 --> 01:07:33.960
saying? What am I saying? Because we're, it's like, you're

1023
01:07:33.960 --> 01:07:38.120
really shifting between your flesh, your spirit, and what God

1024
01:07:38.120 --> 01:07:41.360
say, even though your spirit and God, you know, are one, it's,

1025
01:07:41.680 --> 01:07:44.280
it's, you're trying, you're trying to basically teach

1026
01:07:44.280 --> 01:07:50.160
yourself what, how to find you and how to let you out. So I

1027
01:07:50.160 --> 01:07:52.800
just kind of like dream, I dream with God, I dream in his

1028
01:07:52.800 --> 01:07:57.440
presence. But I don't try to discern at the same time what

1029
01:07:57.440 --> 01:08:01.800
he thinks about what I'm saying. Yeah, I just dream. And then I

1030
01:08:01.800 --> 01:08:04.200
asked him after I've like developed all this stuff. Okay,

1031
01:08:04.200 --> 01:08:07.640
now, God, you and I, what do you think? You know, because we're

1032
01:08:07.640 --> 01:08:11.200
we're gonna act on some of these things. So should it look like

1033
01:08:11.200 --> 01:08:13.280
this? What do you think about and then you just kind of like

1034
01:08:13.280 --> 01:08:15.920
ping your spirit? That's how I work into it. Because your

1035
01:08:15.920 --> 01:08:18.680
spirit is one question, you kind of spin your in your spirit

1036
01:08:18.880 --> 01:08:23.200
against all of these things and see what what he said. And

1037
01:08:23.200 --> 01:08:26.880
again, you just kind of get a general direction. And and then

1038
01:08:26.880 --> 01:08:31.200
start stepping out in that direction where you feel God

1039
01:08:31.279 --> 01:08:35.760
giving you permission. And okay, in the first step, you're not

1040
01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:38.880
going to have discernment. Usually, it's very, very, very,

1041
01:08:38.880 --> 01:08:41.880
very, very, very, very, very, very ultra rare that God will

1042
01:08:41.880 --> 01:08:46.040
show you everything. You'll just you'll just get an okay for a

1043
01:08:46.040 --> 01:08:48.760
general for a first step. And so you make the first step. And

1044
01:08:48.760 --> 01:08:51.040
it's risky, because you don't know if that first step is going

1045
01:08:51.040 --> 01:08:54.520
to lead into all this other stuff. And all this other stuff

1046
01:08:54.520 --> 01:08:59.200
that you want. And so anyway, is that helpful to at least start?

1047
01:09:01.240 --> 01:09:06.560
It is it's Yeah, it's Yeah, I just think it's difficult. Like

1048
01:09:06.560 --> 01:09:10.640
I'll Yeah, it's like I got home and then I saw there was an

1049
01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:13.680
email and it's like a sales email where it's like, oh, it's

1050
01:09:13.760 --> 01:09:16.760
just one more day. And then it's another year before this program

1051
01:09:16.760 --> 01:09:20.479
opens. It's a Norwegian woman that has it. And it's it's about

1052
01:09:20.479 --> 01:09:23.720
like, create your own dream business. And I'm like, Oh,

1053
01:09:23.760 --> 01:09:28.120
because her caption is literally Do you need Do you need a sign?

1054
01:09:28.160 --> 01:09:34.399
And I'm like, um, but then I'm like, I've been through. I feel

1055
01:09:34.399 --> 01:09:38.600
like I've like purchased so many different programs just trying

1056
01:09:38.600 --> 01:09:41.399
to like, like the Pedro one and blah, blah, you know, and it's

1057
01:09:41.439 --> 01:09:44.840
like, yeah, trying to like do all these things. And I'm like,

1058
01:09:46.160 --> 01:09:49.240
not necessarily knowing that that's my thing. You know what I

1059
01:09:49.240 --> 01:09:56.040
mean? Correct. Exactly. Yeah. And so just like, yeah, because

1060
01:09:56.080 --> 01:09:59.200
when I've done all everything else that I've been presented

1061
01:09:59.200 --> 01:09:59.600
with,

1062
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.760
Well, I'd say everything else. Most, I would say 90%, at least, if not more than that,

1063
01:10:05.760 --> 01:10:10.560
that I've been presented with as possibilities, all these different modalities, Pedro's, etc.

1064
01:10:10.560 --> 01:10:14.720
They all sound great. And I am so excited for everybody else. And I can sense that,

1065
01:10:14.720 --> 01:10:22.480
hey, that works. And all of that. But God, I do not feel spirit and life on it for me.

1066
01:10:23.440 --> 01:10:29.760
Yeah. And that's hard. Because as I've told my friend, who's also, she's in Pedro's

1067
01:10:29.760 --> 01:10:35.600
master's mind, you know, that high level one, she's in that group. And so like she gets they,

1068
01:10:35.600 --> 01:10:40.320
she and her husband get like personal, like mentoring from Pedro on their business kind

1069
01:10:40.320 --> 01:10:47.200
of a thing. And so she and she's given me, you know, some pointers and some directions as well.

1070
01:10:47.280 --> 01:10:54.560
And I cannot, for any, how do I try to say what I'm trying to say specifically, and

1071
01:10:55.920 --> 01:11:03.040
that, if I could listen to someone else, and be able to step out on what someone else is doing,

1072
01:11:03.040 --> 01:11:07.760
you know, like what I was talking about, like with Priscilla, like her, like possibly, like,

1073
01:11:07.760 --> 01:11:10.960
you know, her teaching all these other people how to copycat what she's done,

1074
01:11:11.600 --> 01:11:15.200
it makes it so much easier for the other people, right? Because it's like, hey, this is all I have

1075
01:11:15.200 --> 01:11:20.720
to do someone else to figure that for me. But the problem is maybe that works for some people,

1076
01:11:20.720 --> 01:11:26.560
it does not work, it doesn't work for me. And I'm telling you, from what I've observed,

1077
01:11:26.560 --> 01:11:31.200
it will not work for the majority of people, we all want to do it. But and we hear these great

1078
01:11:31.200 --> 01:11:36.160
success stories. You know, Pedro has all of the has some like, yeah, Pedro, and I've done Stevens.

1079
01:11:36.160 --> 01:11:40.160
And it's like, I can't like, I can't be a rainmaker. Like, I'd love to.

1080
01:11:40.160 --> 01:11:45.040
Oh, a rainmaker? Have you done that one? Yeah, with the rainmaker family.

1081
01:11:46.080 --> 01:11:50.080
I can't, like, I cannot, like, I can't, you know?

1082
01:11:50.080 --> 01:11:56.080
Yeah, I know. So that's my thing, too, is that nothing feels right. It's like, it would be easy

1083
01:11:56.080 --> 01:12:00.960
if it was because it's plug and play. Someone else has already figured out the formula, I don't have

1084
01:12:00.960 --> 01:12:07.840
to think about it. All I have to do is just follow it. And it's and I talked to Ed about this over

1085
01:12:07.920 --> 01:12:10.880
and over and over and over and over again, I was like, it would just be so much easier.

1086
01:12:11.760 --> 01:12:17.360
If I like easier, so to speak, if I just allow someone else to have done all the work for me,

1087
01:12:17.360 --> 01:12:20.560
and I do what they tell me to do, because that's what they're offering to teach me is,

1088
01:12:20.560 --> 01:12:24.960
hey, I'll teach you how to do what I do. But God's just like, actually, that's not what I have for

1089
01:12:24.960 --> 01:12:32.080
you. And I'm like, Okay, well, then what is it? So I'm exploring into an unknown. And I can't find

1090
01:12:32.720 --> 01:12:36.320
what he's saying that it's going to look like, because it's not what someone says talking about,

1091
01:12:36.320 --> 01:12:39.760
it's not what someone says talking about, it's not what someone says. So what is it? He's like,

1092
01:12:39.760 --> 01:12:44.720
well, you and I are going to develop it, you know, alone, you know, it's going to be brand new. And

1093
01:12:44.720 --> 01:12:50.880
I'm like, Okay, but then what is it? Just tell me what to do. And so it's an exploration process.

1094
01:12:50.880 --> 01:12:55.360
So basically, this is how I've described it to a friend of mine when she was struggling with,

1095
01:12:56.320 --> 01:13:01.760
with starting out, she was wanting to switch from the way that she used to do business. And

1096
01:13:01.760 --> 01:13:05.120
she was feeling like the grace of lifted, and she didn't know what she was supposed to change it

1097
01:13:05.120 --> 01:13:09.680
into. And she's like, actually, I just don't understand. She said it used to be so effortless.

1098
01:13:09.680 --> 01:13:16.720
And now it's so hard. And I said, I think what happened is, is that she said, is I told her I

1099
01:13:16.720 --> 01:13:22.400
said, when we put put spirit into a thing, it just starts effortlessly. We're just like, Hey,

1100
01:13:22.400 --> 01:13:26.000
I'm just gonna put myself out there. And I'm going to try this. I'm just going to operate

1101
01:13:26.000 --> 01:13:31.360
according to who I naturally am. And I'm just going to let what happens happens. We don't

1102
01:13:31.360 --> 01:13:37.280
force art. And then what ends up happening is, we have a structure is created, it's almost like

1103
01:13:37.280 --> 01:13:41.040
we create the wine skin, the wine skin, and then we pour our spirit through which is the wine,

1104
01:13:41.040 --> 01:13:47.520
you know. And but what we end up doing is we finally, eventually, once that is created,

1105
01:13:47.520 --> 01:13:52.800
we stop focusing on the spirit. And we keep trying to maintain the structure.

1106
01:13:52.800 --> 01:13:57.760
Yeah, because we think that it's the structure that's getting it to work. And instead,

1107
01:13:57.760 --> 01:14:05.360
the structure is there to support the spirit that gets the whole thing to work. And, and so the,

1108
01:14:05.360 --> 01:14:09.760
the thing is that people are trying to sell structures, but that's the structure that

1109
01:14:09.760 --> 01:14:17.200
very unique spirit created. And in order to sustain itself, it's the wine skin that was

1110
01:14:17.200 --> 01:14:23.200
needed for that wine, you're going to need your own wine skin that in the manner speaking, I know

1111
01:14:23.200 --> 01:14:27.920
it doesn't quite work like this, like the wine skin is formed because of the bought from the wine,

1112
01:14:27.920 --> 01:14:33.200
but it, you know, just kind of get that picture in your head. Yeah, that's point across. It's like

1113
01:14:33.200 --> 01:14:39.280
your spirit when it comes out, well, there's a structure that is created that supports that

1114
01:14:39.280 --> 01:14:45.680
unique spirit. So that also means that and this is what I was talking about with Priscilla as well.

1115
01:14:45.680 --> 01:14:51.040
And I just had worded it like this, if she is struggling now, and she didn't use to with her

1116
01:14:51.040 --> 01:14:57.680
business, you know, it's, it can mean that there's been a change in who it is and how her spirit

1117
01:14:57.680 --> 01:14:59.840
operates because she's developed and matured in her.

1118
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.160
relationship with the Lord. So it looks and acts different now than it used to. And that

1119
01:15:04.160 --> 01:15:10.520
old structure supported the old spirit, the way that the spirit, her spirit used to operate

1120
01:15:10.520 --> 01:15:15.920
between her and the Lord. And so now, but if you're just trying to maintain that structure,

1121
01:15:15.920 --> 01:15:20.200
it's exhausting because your spirit is changed. So in order to maintain that structure, it

1122
01:15:20.200 --> 01:15:25.400
takes flesh. Now it takes work because the spirit's no longer supporting that. Why? Because

1123
01:15:25.400 --> 01:15:31.560
the spirit is different now. So, so that's why we should focus again on this whole sandbox

1124
01:15:31.560 --> 01:15:35.320
thing and dreaming and just like, what is my spirit saying? What is it? What's coming

1125
01:15:35.320 --> 01:15:40.600
up and out of me? And then allowing a new structure to form from the way that our spirit

1126
01:15:40.600 --> 01:15:45.680
has now developed that new wine skin that is now in the same frequency and created from

1127
01:15:45.680 --> 01:15:50.360
that new wine. And that's why our businesses change over time. That's what the process

1128
01:15:50.360 --> 01:15:54.440
that I've been in for a while is to figure out, okay, who are God and I now, and how

1129
01:15:54.480 --> 01:15:59.000
do things need to work now and differently than they used to. That's what Priscilla's

1130
01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:04.720
going through, you know, in this transition, but it's the same. And that was my friend.

1131
01:16:04.720 --> 01:16:08.640
That's what she was going through as well. And so it's the same thing with you, even

1132
01:16:08.640 --> 01:16:13.240
though you might be thinking, yeah, but I'm starting fresh. Well, it's the same thing.

1133
01:16:13.240 --> 01:16:18.920
It's your spirit needs to come out to create the structure as opposed to us looking for

1134
01:16:18.920 --> 01:16:24.800
somebody else's structure that are, we want to flow our spirit through it. It's not, it's

1135
01:16:24.800 --> 01:16:29.000
that the frequencies don't match because that structure was created by somebody else's spirit.

1136
01:16:29.000 --> 01:16:33.960
It was created to match and support and sustain that spirit into creation. Yours is going

1137
01:16:33.960 --> 01:16:39.240
to have to, in order to sustain your spirit, it's going to have to be created different.

1138
01:16:39.240 --> 01:16:44.640
That's why there's very few people that get those, get those copycat versions to work.

1139
01:16:44.640 --> 01:16:52.400
Say even Pedro's, like his, like, what would you call it? His success story. His brain work.

1140
01:16:52.400 --> 01:16:56.720
Yeah. Yes. His brain work, you know, his, the Rainmaker, you know, family, you know,

1141
01:16:56.720 --> 01:17:01.680
they've done really well. It's, you know, there are several, there are a few families that he,

1142
01:17:01.680 --> 01:17:09.760
three or four major ones that, that he promotes as like success stories. They are good. They,

1143
01:17:09.760 --> 01:17:13.520
what I believe that they did, because I've personally been in the room, you know, because

1144
01:17:13.520 --> 01:17:18.880
you gifted me those tickets, personally set just feet from them, hearing them tell their stories.

1145
01:17:18.880 --> 01:17:24.560
And everything sounds like, Hey, we did whatever Pedro told us to do. But if you really sit there

1146
01:17:24.560 --> 01:17:30.720
and listen to it, you're like, no, you added your own uniqueness to that. You followed a general

1147
01:17:30.720 --> 01:17:37.840
direction, but you did some very unique things and some twists on it. And you, and, and so you

1148
01:17:37.840 --> 01:17:42.000
got a success story, but all of these other people who've done the same thing that Pedro told them

1149
01:17:42.000 --> 01:17:47.360
to do, they didn't get the same success story, but also the reason that they got it to work is

1150
01:17:47.360 --> 01:17:52.960
because they added their own uniqueness to it. So anyway, my point is that even the six copycat

1151
01:17:52.960 --> 01:17:59.360
success stories have to have someone's own unique spirit in order to work and can't, and actually

1152
01:17:59.360 --> 01:18:06.640
aren't perfectly copycatted. And so that's why there's so few, because anyway, so it, so the

1153
01:18:06.640 --> 01:18:12.880
point is, is frustrating as it is like, Hey, all these people are trying to sell me the formula

1154
01:18:12.880 --> 01:18:20.800
that'll get me success. It actually, even their success stories aren't, aren't, aren't perfect

1155
01:18:20.800 --> 01:18:26.640
copycat. So either that, or they are perfect copycats, but what they've done is they've added

1156
01:18:26.640 --> 01:18:30.160
just a whole lot of flesh to them. I'm not talking about Pedro's people. I'm talking about like other

1157
01:18:30.160 --> 01:18:34.400
people, you know, there's a whole lot of flesh that's been added to him. In other words, a whole

1158
01:18:34.400 --> 01:18:41.120
lot of elbow grease that got them to finally work. And, and that means that you're going to

1159
01:18:41.120 --> 01:18:47.040
have to continue to add a lot of elbow grease in order to sustain them. But if God builds the key,

1160
01:18:47.040 --> 01:18:51.920
if God is the one who creates the business, then God will sustain it. So if God is, if it's your

1161
01:18:51.920 --> 01:18:57.280
spirit that builds the business, it's your spirit that, that will sustain it effortlessly without

1162
01:18:57.280 --> 01:19:01.040
all of this flesh. But if it's your flesh that sustained that builds it, it's your flesh,

1163
01:19:01.040 --> 01:19:05.760
they'll have to sustain it. So anyway, as hard as all of this stuff is, it at least hopefully

1164
01:19:05.760 --> 01:19:11.280
gives you encouragement of why it hasn't worked. Why does it work for all these other people? Look

1165
01:19:11.280 --> 01:19:16.320
at all of these success stories they give me, whether it's Pedro or someone else. It's because

1166
01:19:16.320 --> 01:19:21.840
it's, it actually is not working the way that we all think in the flesh that it does maybe in the

1167
01:19:21.840 --> 01:19:26.400
flesh that works like that. It doesn't like that if you want to give it spirit. So if the Lord wants

1168
01:19:26.400 --> 01:19:33.360
to very specially set us aside and say, Hey, look, I don't want you to work so hard. I want

1169
01:19:33.360 --> 01:19:41.680
you to pour spirit into this, not flesh. So I'm not allowing these things to work. You're getting

1170
01:19:41.680 --> 01:19:50.560
frustrated because, because your, what I've put in you doesn't jive with doing it that way. I mean,

1171
01:19:50.560 --> 01:19:54.720
for you to do it a different way. And if you do it this other way, you'll be operating more freedom,

1172
01:19:54.720 --> 01:19:59.760
et cetera. So hopefully that's encouraging, but again, the encouragement is that.

1173
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.360
You've got something very unique, very special, and it means you have God's favor on you

1174
01:20:05.360 --> 01:20:09.420
as opposed to why is God making it harder for me than he does for other people.

1175
01:20:09.420 --> 01:20:14.080
Other people get to just buy the formula plug and plug and it works for them and God saying,

1176
01:20:14.080 --> 01:20:17.480
no, you have something very unique, very special.

1177
01:20:17.480 --> 01:20:19.840
You already have it in you.

1178
01:20:19.840 --> 01:20:25.440
What you now have to go through the process of is it as all pioneers do is how to discover

1179
01:20:25.440 --> 01:20:29.980
what it is and how to let it out and that's part of what that sandbox process is and the

1180
01:20:29.980 --> 01:20:33.260
cool thing about the sandbox is it gives you without all those boundaries, gives you the

1181
01:20:33.260 --> 01:20:37.820
opportunity to dream instead of constantly telling yourself why you shouldn't think that

1182
01:20:37.820 --> 01:20:41.940
and no, I probably shouldn't do it like that and no, I've tried that before and that didn't

1183
01:20:41.940 --> 01:20:42.940
work.

1184
01:20:42.940 --> 01:20:50.860
Remember that Peter went out into the boat, went on the boat, fished all night, didn't

1185
01:20:50.860 --> 01:20:56.540
catch a thing, came back and when he first met Jesus, Jesus said, hey, go back out again

1186
01:20:56.540 --> 01:21:00.940
and throw the net over the side and Peter's like, I've already done that.

1187
01:21:00.940 --> 01:21:01.940
Yeah.

1188
01:21:01.940 --> 01:21:02.940
Another word in Jesus.

1189
01:21:02.940 --> 01:21:03.940
Yeah.

1190
01:21:03.940 --> 01:21:05.260
But this time I'm telling you to do that.

1191
01:21:05.260 --> 01:21:11.060
So in other words, he did the same thing that he'd done before that didn't work, but this

1192
01:21:11.060 --> 01:21:15.700
time he went out on word, this time he went out on spirit and this time it worked.

1193
01:21:15.700 --> 01:21:19.660
So anyway, I know I just talked a lot, but I got very excited.

1194
01:21:19.660 --> 01:21:24.500
No, no, that's, it's, it's so helpful and that's, yeah, it's a, it's so encouraging

1195
01:21:24.500 --> 01:21:27.380
because as you're speaking, I was like, yeah, of course I don't want to do that program

1196
01:21:27.380 --> 01:21:31.460
because one also biggest thing is she's not a believer, you know?

1197
01:21:31.460 --> 01:21:35.700
So it's like, not that that can't, but it's just like my personal thing what I would want

1198
01:21:35.700 --> 01:21:36.700
to like.

1199
01:21:36.700 --> 01:21:37.700
Yeah.

1200
01:21:37.700 --> 01:21:41.460
But I think as you were speaking to him, like, oh, that's probably why I got triggered with

1201
01:21:41.460 --> 01:21:48.260
my friend who's now like just setting, like cutting everyone off essentially to be like

1202
01:21:49.260 --> 01:21:57.100
with, you know, um, and cause she's doing this like coaching program to like, um, uh,

1203
01:21:57.100 --> 01:22:00.140
she wants to like be a coach and started her own thing.

1204
01:22:00.140 --> 01:22:04.620
And I think I get stressed when other, cause I'm like, oh my gosh, I should probably do

1205
01:22:04.620 --> 01:22:05.620
something.

1206
01:22:05.620 --> 01:22:06.620
I should do a program.

1207
01:22:06.620 --> 01:22:07.620
I should be three months away.

1208
01:22:07.620 --> 01:22:11.940
I should like, or even with this like guy, I'm like, I should probably do something more.

1209
01:22:11.940 --> 01:22:14.120
And I'm like, no, I'm learning.

1210
01:22:14.120 --> 01:22:15.120
That's not what I'm going to do.

1211
01:22:15.120 --> 01:22:21.120
I'm just going to enjoy myself and I'm going to enjoy God and have things appear naturally

1212
01:22:21.120 --> 01:22:24.280
like organically even that.

1213
01:22:24.280 --> 01:22:28.440
And I've been thinking that like even looking at Pedro and all of those, I'm like more than

1214
01:22:28.440 --> 01:22:29.520
trying to copy it.

1215
01:22:29.520 --> 01:22:36.720
I'm like, I feel like God's just showing me what's possible when people say yes to him.

1216
01:22:36.720 --> 01:22:40.880
Like as far as said yes to him, Steven said yes to him.

1217
01:22:40.880 --> 01:22:46.280
When I went to Heidi Baker's place, you know, I was like, Whoa, like this is cause one person

1218
01:22:46.280 --> 01:22:49.760
said yes, you know?

1219
01:22:49.760 --> 01:22:55.920
And I'm like, oh, you're showing me this so that I can like, yeah, I don't know.

1220
01:22:55.920 --> 01:22:57.320
I mean, it's available to them.

1221
01:22:57.320 --> 01:22:58.320
It's available to us.

1222
01:22:58.320 --> 01:22:59.320
You know what I mean?

1223
01:22:59.320 --> 01:23:06.880
But it's like, they had to say yes, you know?

1224
01:23:06.880 --> 01:23:08.220
It's what you said with Peter.

1225
01:23:08.220 --> 01:23:11.460
So I'm like, I think I just got frustrated in the waiting because I feel like it's been

1226
01:23:11.460 --> 01:23:15.980
like 10 years of trying to like find something I want to do.

1227
01:23:15.980 --> 01:23:18.420
I was like, I was trying Mary Kay.

1228
01:23:18.420 --> 01:23:19.420
I was doing this.

1229
01:23:19.420 --> 01:23:22.540
I was like, I mean, I was trying Young Living.

1230
01:23:22.540 --> 01:23:26.540
I'm like, been there, tried that.

1231
01:23:26.540 --> 01:23:32.500
I've almost been pulled into both of those actually.

1232
01:23:32.500 --> 01:23:36.940
And we look at people that are successful in those things and we're like, oh, well maybe

1233
01:23:36.940 --> 01:23:40.020
that's my clue that I should do it as well.

1234
01:23:40.020 --> 01:23:42.020
And anyway, I've been very frustrated.

1235
01:23:42.020 --> 01:23:50.980
I know that I'm living a bit more of, I'm living more of what I've wanted than now,

1236
01:23:50.980 --> 01:23:55.620
you know, than I have been for, but understand that that's when you've met me, but understand

1237
01:23:55.620 --> 01:24:02.860
that that's, this is all very new to me because I've just been, I've lived very, very frustrated

1238
01:24:02.860 --> 01:24:12.820
for at least, frustrated, like, and career wise for at least 15, if not a bit longer

1239
01:24:12.820 --> 01:24:15.740
years, just very frustrated.

1240
01:24:15.740 --> 01:24:20.020
And I just kept thinking, I just kept hunkering down thinking like, if I just endure, if I

1241
01:24:20.020 --> 01:24:26.140
just make it and really the issue wasn't the opportunities that I was being given.

1242
01:24:26.140 --> 01:24:32.140
It was the fact that I couldn't step into what I was meant to do if I wasn't giving,

1243
01:24:32.140 --> 01:24:37.820
if I kept avoiding myself, if I kept avoiding who it is that God had made me to be and keep

1244
01:24:37.820 --> 01:24:38.820
the end.

1245
01:24:38.820 --> 01:24:43.300
And because he's like, no, no, that's a vital ingredient is because it needs your spirit.

1246
01:24:43.300 --> 01:24:47.940
So if you don't, if you're not giving yourself access to your spirit and who is that I made

1247
01:24:47.940 --> 01:24:53.460
you to be, well then you've got, you know, then you're just going to do it all out of

1248
01:24:53.460 --> 01:24:54.460
your flesh.

1249
01:24:54.460 --> 01:24:55.460
You're going to burn out.

1250
01:24:55.460 --> 01:24:56.460
You're going to resent me.

1251
01:24:56.460 --> 01:24:57.460
You're going to do all of this stuff.

1252
01:24:57.460 --> 01:24:59.980
So until you do that, we're going to keep you.

1253
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.160
here but it while we're but while you're doing this you're gonna you're gonna be growing he's

1254
01:25:04.160 --> 01:25:08.240
not really keeping us over there he's like he's like okay well then we need to grow in these areas

1255
01:25:08.240 --> 01:25:12.000
if there's the environments and the businesses and the projects that you need to be working on

1256
01:25:12.560 --> 01:25:18.480
in order to grow you in those areas but he keeps inviting us to remember this basic thing learn

1257
01:25:18.480 --> 01:25:23.920
this basic thing choose this basic thing and then everything can change because i promise you that

1258
01:25:23.920 --> 01:25:29.680
everything changes when you choose that this is your new way of living in every area of your

1259
01:25:29.680 --> 01:25:34.320
life like what you're talking about yeah like doing it with your with your food doing if you

1260
01:25:34.320 --> 01:25:40.080
do that with uh uh with your home like how you keep your home yeah um your business how you

1261
01:25:40.080 --> 01:25:44.880
choose to transport yourself back and forth to your business your relationships with other people

1262
01:25:44.880 --> 01:25:50.000
your your potential you know your future romantic relationships your um your church

1263
01:25:50.720 --> 01:25:58.880
if that is the new you that you choose this is my new life now let's infuse that into every aspect

1264
01:25:58.880 --> 01:26:05.680
in which i'm living your whole life will completely change and even if your business

1265
01:26:06.320 --> 01:26:12.240
doesn't start for a while or ever and i'm just talking theoretically because i believe that if

1266
01:26:12.240 --> 01:26:16.960
the lord has put it on your heart there's some aspect in which it's meant to express itself that

1267
01:26:16.960 --> 01:26:21.600
way but i'm just talking theoretically even if that those things don't happen i will tell you

1268
01:26:21.600 --> 01:26:28.320
from personal experience that you will be that you will be fine and happy and won't need it

1269
01:26:29.120 --> 01:26:36.080
yeah and so regardless of what happens ever all this turmoil within you will stop

1270
01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:42.320
and what you want will feel like it changes and then god will probably a little you know

1271
01:26:42.320 --> 01:26:46.960
at least that's what he did for me bring this other thing along they were like that we'd asked

1272
01:26:46.960 --> 01:26:52.160
for and like well i appreciate it but i no longer want it i want to see your now you know whatever

1273
01:26:52.160 --> 01:26:56.400
yeah i'm perfectly happy now you know and we thought that we needed that thing to be happy

1274
01:26:56.400 --> 01:27:00.800
and then when we found that god made us perfectly happy you know where it is we're like well now i

1275
01:27:00.800 --> 01:27:05.600
see all the benefits of staying i'm really happy to stay you know so the point is that god will

1276
01:27:05.600 --> 01:27:10.640
give you what it is that your life will completely change because you'll change how you approach it

1277
01:27:11.360 --> 01:27:16.720
yeah and uh yeah anyway but i realized i have to get off because my yeah i am husband needs uh to

1278
01:27:16.720 --> 01:27:22.640
make a phone call uh he's in a he's gonna has to make a business meeting call so but anyway i hope

1279
01:27:22.640 --> 01:27:29.280
that's helpful and encouraging to both of y'all yeah so thank you so much you're welcome good to

1280
01:27:29.280 --> 01:27:36.560
see y'all yeah you too i'll talk to y'all later yeah bye bye