WEBVTT

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I'm not sure if I can hear you.

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Can you say?

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Oh, you're still connecting.

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Oh, there you are.

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Okay.

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There I am.

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I don't think I've had the AirPods on before, probably, because I'm like, oh, I can't hear

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anything.

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Oh, my goodness.

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Did you?

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How are you?

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Oh, I'm exhausted.

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From Salsa?

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Sorry?

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From Salsa?

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No, no, no.

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That's on Mondays.

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Oh.

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I think I'm just like, just so tired after everything that's been going on.

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I'm just like, oh.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Well, I'm really tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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Yeah, I'm super...

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I'm in that place where I don't think it's really dawned on me yet, you know what I mean?

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So, it's that, and then I think I'm just...

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I think that's where I'm struggling, where I don't feel like I can fully just rejoice

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until I know it won't go further, you know what I mean?

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But then at the same time, I kind of, I mean, I believe that God's like, this was his ruling,

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this is what he wanted, and it ends here, so then it won't go further, but then, yeah,

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so I think that's where my struggle is, where do I decree and declare that and stand on

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it and rejoice and, yeah, that's my own little thing, you know?

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Yeah, I know.

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I know it's hard.

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One of the things that I recommend that we do in these times is, and I mentioned it in

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one of the messages, hey, Priscilla, is that we, I think I mentioned it in one of my last

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messages to Priscilla last night.

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I think I talked to both of y'all when I did it, but I was specifically addressing some

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stuff that she had said, one of her messages, about the fact that whenever we're having

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faith in God in something, like for her, I was talking specifically about, you know,

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the frustration she was having with her body continually being sick, that what we have

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to do is we have to risk the disappointment, and we're trying to keep ourselves from celebrating

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and being excited because we're like, yeah, but I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, and

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so it's really hard in those situations to make a, where God is inviting us to make a

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different choice and fully enjoying the celebration of what it is that he's given and what it

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is that we have, instead of living our lives in anticipation of preparing ourselves for

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something bad to happen so that if we fall or if we get disappointed or something hurts,

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we keep thinking, well, maybe it won't hurt as bad.

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And funny enough, it hurts just as bad, but we keep thinking that if we protect or prepare

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ourselves beforehand for it happening, that it won't hurt as bad because we're, you know,

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going to be disappointed.

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And if we just expect it, then we won't be disappointed.

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But anyway, my thing is that that's a way in which we can stand in faith is to risk

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the potential disappointment by fully receiving what it is that we have instead of anticipating

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and preparing ourselves to protect ourselves instead of allowing God to protect us, protect

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ourselves against potential disappointment.

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And that's what's really, really, really, really hard.

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But anyway, I'm so sorry that you're still having that, that potential threat, like looming

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over you as a possibility of happenings.

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I'm really sorry.

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Yeah, no, I would have been because it's like pending, it's like we won on all the points.

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But then they said in the paper that, oh, we will appeal.

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But then in the second paper, they had said no comment.

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So I mean, the judge has done a really thorough job.

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So it's going to be difficult for them to appeal, I think, is they have to find some

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specific thing they're actually going to appeal on.

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Yeah.

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And I'm like, so that's where I'm like, Oh, my friend, I think this is what kind of so

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my friend that's taken some time to herself, like through for the rest of the year, for

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God to like, I think there's so many things going on in my head.

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She's been standing with me like truly firmly the entire time.

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And I'm having like many hats, you know, but she's one of them.

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That's been like having faith, maybe where I've been like, Oh, my goodness.

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And she's like, she she was really sweet.

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She like dressed.

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stuff after my last day of court. And she's like, I dressed

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up if you won, like, she's like, No, that God has this, like, she

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has to pay everything back. And it's like, this is done. I've

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seen this picture of a snake that was, you know, put on a

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pole and chopped into pieces. And this ends here. And so it's

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super encouraging when this happens, you know, but then at

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the same time, she's like, pulled away and like, Oh, God is

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taking me away. Like I'm having the rest of the year to myself

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just because God's giving me new blueprints and blah, blah, blah.

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Which is, you know, which is, which is great. But it's just

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weird to not be able to share in that celebration with somebody

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that's been like standing with you. And she's fully like,

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she's like, congratulations, but no, I'm taking time to myself,

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you know, and like, and I could feel myself today, like doubly,

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I think one was like, maybe like grieving, it was so

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interesting, because I got this like morning devotional thing.

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And it was like, Oh, you know, letting go of things that are

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not continuing honors. And so it was part of like, all felt

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almost like I was grieving like a friendship. And then at the

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same time, I was like, Oh, my gosh, I need to like, not put my

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trust in that. It's not like, Oh, it's because she said then

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that's no, it's because like, God did it, you know what I

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mean? So I felt like, Oh, my goodness, maybe I've been

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leaning on other people's faith, you know what I mean? Like, and

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not my own, which is where I had like the, which is why I

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honestly feel like God waited a week longer before giving the

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the the ruling because I feel in his goodness, he just wanted me

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to come in that place where I fully chose him and believed him

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before it came. And so it's like, No, I could really see it.

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And then the verdict came like the next day.

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exciting, really special that you have that history, you have

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that record now between you and the Yeah, this is what he did

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with you for you, just the two of you. And then it strengthens

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you in not feel in not feeling so alone in the next thing that

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can happen. And I don't mean with court case. I mean, just

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like, you know, the fact that we just things happen in life,

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and we have to have faith in Lord, that even without the

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people standing with you, you and he have history, where you

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can rely just on him. And then that the added support from

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other people is just extraneous. It's just bonus, it's just

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extra, etc. And so it's a really special, cool gift. It's hard to

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walk through. But when you you're so much more, you have so

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much more strength. And so because you are, because you

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have everything it is that you need, including all

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encouragement and support from God alone. Even when people and

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I'm not saying that she's doing this, I'm just saying, you know,

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in general, even like out on you, meaning like you need them

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and they're not there. That's what we kind of like feel like,

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Hey, I've been abandoned or whatever. So maybe that's kind

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of not that I know for sure. But maybe that's like one of the

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words that you might even use to describe how you're feeling with

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that grief or that that sense of losses. It's like, I feel a bit

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abandoned, like, by my friends, we were doing this together, and

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then you're gone. Reach out, you're not there, meaning like

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emotionally reach out, even if you didn't like, call her or

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anything emotionally. And you're like, No, I don't. I feel like

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I'm not, I'm not allowed access, you know, or whatever. Anyway,

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that can be hard. I'm sorry.

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Yeah, no, yeah, it's okay. It's just like so many things going

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on in my head, because I'm like, Oh, my goodness. I know she's

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like, doing this like whole coaching thing. And like

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learning how to be a coach. But yeah, I don't know, I get I get

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so like, oh, I don't know so many things going like, is that

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from works? Is it not like it's just things that I'm like

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working out in my own head, you know, where I'm like, Oh, well,

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you know, I think so. That's between her and God, you know,

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like, so I'm like, that's, that's, but I think part of me

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with like me and God, I think, and maybe this is what he wants

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me to experience to you know, that I actually can stand on his

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word and and you know, like what I choose and then but I think

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it's back to what we've been discussing before that probably

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I'm very being very vocal. I think Priscilla you said that

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before, like you're being really vocal about things when you

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learn it. So I'm like, I've been like seeing all of these things

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and you know, and and I really do believe that I believe that

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it's it's over now. But I think there's like, a part of me

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that's just super scared that I'm going to

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really high out. And I'm like saying this, and then I like you

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say, end up like disappointed. And then I'll be like, Oh, yeah,

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it's because I you know, like, I think there is a part of me

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that's scared of being disappointed in that. Oh, my

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choice is not enough or whatever. So I still I'm still

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in that, like having to let go of the the outcome and that that

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is not defining who God is, you know?

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Well, yeah. And that's, I mean, so it's not like, oh, well, once

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we kind of get the idea of, oh, this is what it means. And this

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is what we're, quote, unquote, supposed to do doesn't mean that

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we just boom on a dime, we just start doing it. Because we have

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a tendency to, you know, to like, pick it up again, it's

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habit, our security is anchored in all of those things. There's

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reasons for that they're deeply entrenched, not just in, in our

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past choices, our history and our experience, but in the DNA

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that we carry from the decisions that our ancestors made. And,

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and so it's very deeply entrenched within us. So be

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encouraged that even though it it's the God can, God can do a

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very quick work and Jen and generally speaking, always does

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a quick work, especially consider like how long it was

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entrenched in us. It still will take time for us to like, work

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a disentangle ourselves, so to speak. So in other words, don't

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get discouraged, whenever you find yourself in that situation,

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again, just know that well, no, I'm just, I'm just, I'm choosing,

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I'm not trying to get an outcome. I'm not trying to get

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breakthrough, I am choosing to live life different, I am

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choosing to approach life from from by living by faith, instead

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of living by sight, or in living by by experience, or living by

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the past, you know, living by what I learned, living by

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knowledge, living by understanding, or whatever it is

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that we've been relying on. So you're just making a different

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lifestyle choice. And so you just continue to make that and

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eventually, you know, it's like, it's like, a little bit like,

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turning the Titanic, you know, it takes a while, because it's so

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big, but you're still turning, you're still, you're, you're

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still pointing in a different direction than you were before.

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So anyway, we can be encouraged and all of that. Is it that you

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feel a little so Priscilla was asking you is a little guilty,

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like you should have worked harder for it. Somehow the Lord

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find out and take maybe Well, I don't know, I feel like, um, I

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feel like this is like a knockout and round one, you

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know, and it kind of feels like round one, but I feel I wish

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this was like over forever, because it was just, it was such

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a restoration for my own heart to see my mom and you know, like

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for her to just have faith in the court system. And to feel

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like people are believing her like all of this. So this is

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like a major win. And then I think part of me is not able to

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celebrate fully because everybody's also well, they've

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said they're gonna appeal like now we have to see like, oh,

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it's gonna be interesting to see what comes out of it, you know.

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And so and then I think I feel like my other friend that is now

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kind of like, taken away, you know, like she's taken herself

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out of it. I feel like her faith has always been. I've felt like

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her faith has been stronger than mine, where she's like, No,

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it's done. Like, it's fine. It's I don't care what other people

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say, like, it's finished. Like he said, it was finished, and

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it's finished, and it's done. And maybe I feel like, oh, if I

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don't have her to say that, then it can now like be reversed. Or

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I somehow have to like, make me like, do I really am I there at

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the same faith level? Or am I not, you know, and I think

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that's where I was trying to be like, how do I agree with

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heaven and like decree and declare that in the authority

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because it's actually my, my situation. And so maybe that's

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what I was thinking earlier today where I was like, Oh, but

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it's not because she has been holding up in faith or decreeing

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and declaring it's actually because God has made this

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ruling, you know. And, yeah, so maybe it's like been taken away

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from me for for a time now as well just to like, you know,

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sometimes even a friendship you can have like, it can become

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like unhealthy because it's like, you lean too much on that

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or it's like, yeah. So I don't know. So but I guess there's a

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part of me that's just like scared that if I am because I do

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really feel like I had breakthrough and I'm like, wow,

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this is kind of like I have dominion here. And I do believe

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that God did this ruling and this is his final say, you know,

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so it kind of felt like it is finished, you know, but I don't

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feel like walking out of the court case, I had this feeling

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it is finished. But I

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didn't have it in me to get dressed up and celebrate and

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believe that before I saw the outcome, you know, and then

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I've been walking with you to, you know, through this like

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journey. And then a couple of days ago, I felt like I had a

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breakthrough. And then the verdict came the next day. It

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just this makes sense, you know, whereas I wish I would have just

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been able to put my party hat on like, three weeks ago and been

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like, Yes, it's finished. It's done like he really has done it.

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And so now that I see that he has, I'm like, Oh, well, how do

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I do it again? You know, like, and it's not me, like, how do I

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how do I partner with God to make sure that I that I release

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into the world what needs to be released. So that it's like,

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because I really do believe this was his ruling. It won't go

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further. But maybe I feel like I still have to partner with it,

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and speak something or release something to be able to have it

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manifest in this world where it's like, they actually won't

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appeal or if they do appeal that it will just be dismissed, you

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know, like, I think that's where I am, like, where, where do I

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partner with him without trying to manipulate or like, have

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anything to say on the outcome? Not that I can do that. But you

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know what I mean? Like, in that hole where you say, actually, if

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you want it, you can have it or like, I don't know if this is

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making sense. Yeah, that feeling. Yeah. Well, think about

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back to your breakthrough, because you said, Well, I had

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the breakthrough. And then one day, and then, and then the

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ruling, the verdict came out the next day, what was your

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breakthrough? Like, how would you define your breakthrough?

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What was what was the breakthrough itself?

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And I so that's where I because I think both of you were

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wondering if I was feeling guilty. And maybe I was or like

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I was unsure or something. And maybe I was because I remember I

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was out on a walk. And it was like, I was listening to your

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teaching. And all of a sudden, I just had the breakthrough in

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understanding the power that I have in my own life, you know,

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and then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, yes, I get to partner with God.

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And I could like see kind of like, almost like the headline

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even in the paper, like the victory, like I could feel I

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could see all of this. And so I started praying and declaring

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and releasing that and I felt super powerful. But I also at

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the same time knew, this is what I want. But it won't affect my

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relationship with God if it doesn't happen. But this is

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truly what I believe, you know. And yeah, and then I think I

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felt guilty after because I'm like, Oh, my gosh, did I try to

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define the outcome? You know, is this me praying my wishes, you

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know, and so I think that's where I started externally

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processing the next day, like, Oh, my goodness, like, did I do

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something wrong? Is this like, you know what I mean? Like, or

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was this me? x exercising my authority as a daughter?

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Yeah. So, you know, you understood what I said, what I

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how I responded in the messages that I sent in response to your

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message, right, about how it actually works that we co

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counsel with the Lord. And that's where and we ask for

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things. Yeah. But we only declare whatever God has said.

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So if he gives us a specific outcome to come into agreement

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with, well, then we can come into agreement with that. But if

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he doesn't give us a specific outcome, then we go then we only

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declare what is certain that he said, which is like, that he's

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going to be good in this situation that he is going to be

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protected, he's going to be provider, not his protection or

309
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his provision will manifest as a ruling in your favor. Yeah,

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it's that so. So if God and so that's what it is that we that

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we use our power and our authority for is power and

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authority that we're getting, because we're one with Christ.

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So it's Christ's power and authority. We can we can claim

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it, but we can't claim it in a way that we feel allows us to

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operate separate from Christ's will it have we can only execute

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that authority and stand in that authority and power. If we're

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united with Christ, meaning like it's within his will, and it's

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what he has said first, then yeah, are an authority, we agree

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with and stand with what Christ said. And then we we just like

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Christ declares, it's true, we come along beside him and say,

321
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yes, I declare that that's true as well, as opposed to, oh, well,

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I want this to happen. And surely God would like this

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outcome, because it means all of these wonderful things. Therefore,

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surely it's God's will. So therefore, I'm making an

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assumption. And therefore, I'm going to use my power and my

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authority to declare that, well, that is our own that's acting,

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you know,

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that's acting in

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our own using our will to promote our self-interest into the world, even though we would define

330
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our self-interest as, as well, it's only, I'm only doing this in order that good things

331
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will happen and bad things won't.

332
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It's still from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and it's the son leaving

333
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the estate and trying to do something on his own as opposed to being within the father

334
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and within the father's estate.

335
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And okay, God, here's my idea.

336
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Here's what I think would work.

337
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Here's what I think would be really good.

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Here's what I'm asking for.

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And, and this is, I believe that this is coming out of your character within me.

340
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So do you agree with that?

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And then you'll co-counsel together about whether or not that's true.

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And even if it is true, if that's an aspect of his character that he wants to act on,

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or if there is something else about his character that he says, well, no, if we express it,

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my character this way, you'll actually get a better, more powerfully transforming results.

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And it looks on the outside is if you don't get the court case in your favor, but God

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says, yeah, that's the manifestation.

347
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But yet God said, yeah, but this is actually me acting.

348
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This is me expressing my character into the world in the way that will be the most powerfully

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effective.

350
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Because of all of these other things that'll happen as a result of dah, dah, dah, dah,

351
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In our mind, we're going to wait just a second, wait, if that's a, that's a bad outcome Lord.

352
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So in the past, if that was that outcome, I would tell you, Lord, you're not protecting

353
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me.

354
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You're not providing for me.

355
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You're not good.

356
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You're not whatever.

357
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And God's like, no, no, no.

358
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Remember we're co-ruling together from a different perspective now that I'm always good.

359
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I'm always providing, I'm always protecting.

360
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And so that's who I am.

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And you always continue to see me like that.

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Even if the manifestation isn't something that you wouldn't have in the past interpreted

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to verify that that is true about me, choose what that, what I say is true about me simply

364
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because I say it not because there's this particular manifestation.

365
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So the reason I go into all that detail is remember what we're supposed to have faith

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in.

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We're supposed to have faith in, in what gives us a, a, a solid assurance.

368
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What allows us to celebrate regardless of whether there's a threat of impending doom

369
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or whatever is, um, is B having our faith in something that doesn't move.

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And that is having faith that God is who he says that he is, not that he will do what

371
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he says he will do and not that will happen.

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And it's really, really hard because we're so very attached to the outcome.

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We're so attached to the point where it's hard to celebrate even a good gift that God

374
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Because what this other bad thing is coming because so attached to what happens.

375
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If this happens, then I feel good.

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I feel protected.

377
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Um, I feel safe.

378
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I feel convenience as opposed to feeling inconvenienced and pain and all of this stuff.

379
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We're so concerned that that other thing is going to happen because of that other thing

380
00:23:06.420 --> 00:23:07.420
is going to happen.

381
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It means to a few different things.

382
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It means that, you know, God doesn't love me or God's not providing for me or God felt

383
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that something else was more important than me or, you know, so I'm not as valuable or

384
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that I don't know all kinds of things or that I have a knee.

385
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I have a, I have a need to be scared because, um, you know, if this thing happens and I'm

386
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inconvenienced and I'm disappointed and I go through pain, then it's going to, then

387
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we feel threatened by it.

388
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We feel threatened by, by it as a person, that it means that somehow we're not as wonderful

389
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as, as God said that we were, and he is not as wonderful as he says that he is all because

390
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we looked at an outcome and just didn't like it.

391
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And I don't mean, sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to say this succinctly.

392
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So anyway, that, that we don't like it.

393
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We think that we put all, we project all of these meanings onto it.

394
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And because we project these bad meanings to it because we're inconvenienced and pain

395
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and we're disappointed, then we focus on it because we're trying so much to get our sense

396
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of security from what happens.

397
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And God says, if you, if you let go of those things and don't get your security from what

398
00:24:20.660 --> 00:24:26.180
happens and doesn't happen in life, but rather from who I am and me always being who I told

399
00:24:26.180 --> 00:24:33.020
you that I am then because I never change, then you will be unwavering in your faith

400
00:24:33.020 --> 00:24:36.260
and in your feelings, regardless of what happens.

401
00:24:36.260 --> 00:24:39.420
So you'll go through a storm, there'll be good things that happen and bad things that

402
00:24:39.420 --> 00:24:44.100
happen, you know, and all kinds of things, but you emotionally and spiritually won't

403
00:24:44.100 --> 00:24:49.860
go up and down with what happens because emotionally you're anchored in and spiritually you're

404
00:24:49.860 --> 00:24:51.980
anchored in something that doesn't move.

405
00:24:51.980 --> 00:24:57.700
So all this outside can move, but you're not moving because you're not focused on and affected

406
00:24:57.700 --> 00:24:58.340
by.

407
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.620
what happens and doesn't happen.

408
00:25:01.780 --> 00:25:05.660
That's one of the, one of the benefits that we get from shifting our faith,

409
00:25:05.660 --> 00:25:11.620
from God doing something to actually know who is, who is God.

410
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And that's who I have faith in.

411
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I have faith that he is and continues to be who he said, not that he's going

412
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to cause certain things to happen and make sure that other things don't happen.

413
00:25:23.540 --> 00:25:26.880
It's really, what we're talking about is really, really, really, really,

414
00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:28.300
really, really, really hard.

415
00:25:28.700 --> 00:25:29.380
Really hard.

416
00:25:29.620 --> 00:25:35.500
It's as hard as all of the reasons that you haven't been able to do it in certain

417
00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:40.500
times and seasons up till now, and that I can't in certain areas of my life right

418
00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:42.940
now, I really struggle with this stuff.

419
00:25:42.980 --> 00:25:43.900
I teach this stuff.

420
00:25:43.940 --> 00:25:45.400
I've done it in other areas.

421
00:25:45.400 --> 00:25:51.540
And in some areas, I just am really struggling to not hold onto the outcome

422
00:25:51.860 --> 00:25:55.780
because I'm getting so much security from certain outcomes in my life.

423
00:25:56.060 --> 00:26:01.240
But what I'm speaking of is what Christ speaks of in scripture of like, what

424
00:26:01.240 --> 00:26:04.820
we're supposed to do instead, where we're supposed to shift our focus on our faith.

425
00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:09.780
Is all of that making it's, it's really, really, really hard, but yeah, it is

426
00:26:09.780 --> 00:26:14.260
hard, it is making, yeah, it, it is making sense.

427
00:26:14.340 --> 00:26:19.580
Um, it's just, it's been so wonderful to see like the restoration that this

428
00:26:19.580 --> 00:26:26.300
kind of ruling made and how I've been able to just be like, speaking, like most

429
00:26:26.300 --> 00:26:29.860
of my family are not believers, just even being able to be like, Hey, I've had so

430
00:26:29.860 --> 00:26:33.980
many people pray, like nobody thought this was going to happen, but you see, God

431
00:26:33.980 --> 00:26:35.000
did it, you know what I mean?

432
00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:37.540
Like, it's just been like, so great to do that.

433
00:26:37.540 --> 00:26:42.180
And I'm still like, Oh, and I still believe like, I know everybody says, no,

434
00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:45.560
it's going to be an appeal, but I really do believe it's over, you know?

435
00:26:46.560 --> 00:26:52.960
And, and then I think it's just like, maybe it's just an invitation for, from

436
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.760
God to, to be able to see that.

437
00:26:54.760 --> 00:26:58.520
No, we actually do have this relationship, you and I as well, you know, without the

438
00:26:58.520 --> 00:27:04.600
others, because I feel, I think part of my fear is because I feel like my friend

439
00:27:04.600 --> 00:27:06.400
was the one who got the word.

440
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:10.520
Like, as soon as this happened, she drove with me down to the cabin to change the

441
00:27:10.520 --> 00:27:15.240
locks and she's like, no, I've seen her, I've seen her hands been like cut off.

442
00:27:15.240 --> 00:27:17.920
She's like, that means she's been caught in the act of stealing.

443
00:27:18.280 --> 00:27:20.320
Um, she's like, it's done.

444
00:27:20.320 --> 00:27:21.840
She will be exposed, you know?

445
00:27:21.840 --> 00:27:26.080
And then as we were praying and declaring over there, she's like, no, it's going to

446
00:27:26.080 --> 00:27:26.920
be, it's over.

447
00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:28.280
Like, I heard it's over.

448
00:27:28.280 --> 00:27:31.200
She's going to be known as the right, righteous judge.

449
00:27:31.520 --> 00:27:34.280
She's like, I've seen the snake been cut up to pieces.

450
00:27:34.280 --> 00:27:35.360
Like it is over.

451
00:27:35.360 --> 00:27:36.720
You will win fully.

452
00:27:36.760 --> 00:27:38.440
And even I was like, I don't think we will.

453
00:27:38.440 --> 00:27:39.840
She's like, I believe you will.

454
00:27:39.840 --> 00:27:41.400
We'll like, you will win fully.

455
00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:43.400
Like, this is like, this is what I want.

456
00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:44.880
Like, this is what God wants.

457
00:27:45.680 --> 00:27:47.640
And like, I've seen this and I think so.

458
00:27:47.640 --> 00:27:49.400
I think part of me is like, oh, wow.

459
00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:51.720
Like it really happened what she said, you know?

460
00:27:51.720 --> 00:27:55.880
And I believe I had that breakthrough, but then I think it's like still a part of me

461
00:27:55.880 --> 00:27:59.080
is like, oh my gosh, like maybe now it's been taken away.

462
00:27:59.080 --> 00:28:02.600
Maybe that was like attached to her, but it's like, it's my battle, you know what I

463
00:28:02.600 --> 00:28:02.840
mean?

464
00:28:02.840 --> 00:28:08.280
And so maybe God is just trying to teach me that also, you know, like what you're

465
00:28:08.280 --> 00:28:10.360
saying, like, oh, people can come alongside.

466
00:28:10.360 --> 00:28:14.600
But initially, like, whatever is your battle is your battle.

467
00:28:14.600 --> 00:28:17.960
And she said that too, when we were worshiping, because I didn't know the songs.

468
00:28:17.960 --> 00:28:21.720
And she was like, no, you have to find songs that you can worship too, because this is

469
00:28:21.720 --> 00:28:22.360
your battle.

470
00:28:22.360 --> 00:28:29.320
Like, you need to be the one who like, so yeah, so I guess it's so it makes it makes

471
00:28:29.320 --> 00:28:29.640
sense.

472
00:28:29.640 --> 00:28:34.120
And I think this is definitely what God is wanting me to experience more and more is

473
00:28:34.120 --> 00:28:41.080
just like the relationship we have, you know, just him and me outside of like, having a

474
00:28:41.080 --> 00:28:46.200
support system around, you know, like, even though that's great, but just that maybe

475
00:28:46.200 --> 00:28:47.320
building experience.

476
00:28:47.320 --> 00:28:53.080
And then I think I'm just scared still of like, being disappointed and around to, you

477
00:28:53.080 --> 00:28:55.080
know, like, I know, I know.

478
00:28:55.080 --> 00:28:58.840
Yeah, it gives you Okay, so let me say a couple of things real quick.

479
00:28:58.840 --> 00:29:03.960
First of all, I know what that's like to have a friend come alongside you and get a

480
00:29:03.960 --> 00:29:04.840
specific word.

481
00:29:04.840 --> 00:29:10.280
I had a friend get a word for me about something that was very important to me.

482
00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:19.160
But God told her not to tell me and that that she'd gotten this affirmation or this like

483
00:29:19.160 --> 00:29:21.640
word from the Lord just out of the blue.

484
00:29:21.640 --> 00:29:23.000
She got it for him from him.

485
00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:26.920
And she said it was almost audible.

486
00:29:26.920 --> 00:29:29.400
It was so it was so clear.

487
00:29:30.280 --> 00:29:35.960
And so I just took it as an affirmation of everything that God had been talking to me

488
00:29:35.960 --> 00:29:38.200
about and a specific promise he'd made me.

489
00:29:38.200 --> 00:29:42.440
And I took it as an affirmation that, okay, look, this, this really is going to happen.

490
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:43.160
This really is.

491
00:29:44.600 --> 00:29:51.400
And, but I eventually had to release all kinds of, how do I, how do I explain that?

492
00:29:52.360 --> 00:29:55.240
Let me just tell you the short story and just say it didn't happen.

493
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:59.880
What it is that she felt that God had told her did not.

494
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.760
ought to happen. And I had my own walk with the Lord in where I felt, felt like him telling

495
00:30:05.760 --> 00:30:11.280
me that it was going to happen. And I just took hers as an affirmation. I mean, she basically,

496
00:30:11.280 --> 00:30:16.000
she almost heard the audible voice of God. She said it was so clear, Ashley, it might

497
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:20.800
have well, might as well have been audible. She's like, I know 100% positive that that

498
00:30:20.800 --> 00:30:26.400
was the, that was the Lord. Um, but here's the, here's the interesting thing is it didn't

499
00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:31.760
happen. And so what I had to do and what she and I had to work through is the fact

500
00:30:31.760 --> 00:30:40.240
that I'm like, well, I trust my friend and I don't know what it was that God told her.

501
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:46.000
And, and even if he told her that what on earth that meant, if that actually did not

502
00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:50.320
happen, because God doesn't say that things are going to happen. And then they don't,

503
00:30:50.320 --> 00:30:54.640
he always honors his word. So I was like, Lord, I don't understand. So I'm just going

504
00:30:54.640 --> 00:30:59.040
to have to release that. She had to do the same thing on her own. She said, you know,

505
00:30:59.040 --> 00:31:04.000
Ashley, um, she said, I am just going to have to walk with the Lord through the fact that

506
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:08.960
I know in my own relationship with him, that's what he said. But if it didn't happen, then

507
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:13.440
she's like, do I hear from the Lord? She's like, I'm really having to like question all

508
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:19.760
kinds of things. Then if, if I was that certain and I make, and I act on things that I thought

509
00:31:19.760 --> 00:31:25.840
God told me that I don't, that, that don't even, that I just get a sense of, and then

510
00:31:25.840 --> 00:31:30.800
aren't even that clear. Am I even right in those things? Am I really hearing from the

511
00:31:30.800 --> 00:31:35.600
Lord? You know, so it just like really, and she just, but, but what she had to do and

512
00:31:35.600 --> 00:31:40.560
what I had to do as well is okay. Well, regardless of what happened, regardless of how things

513
00:31:40.560 --> 00:31:46.960
manifested God, who are you? And I have to be just solid and sure of who it is that I

514
00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:56.400
know that he is and have a relationship with that being and not be thrown off course and,

515
00:31:56.960 --> 00:32:00.960
and have my faith shaken. That's what I'm trying to say. Have my faith shaken by the

516
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:09.600
fact that something that we both felt we were explicitly told by the Lord over a very long

517
00:32:09.600 --> 00:32:15.600
period of time in dozens and dozens and dozens of ways. We're not talking about like, oh,

518
00:32:15.600 --> 00:32:19.520
we're taking this line here and we're just building this whole doctrine off of it. It

519
00:32:19.520 --> 00:32:24.240
was affirmed over and over and over and over and over and over again. And it didn't happen.

520
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:32.000
So, um, I just, uh, I've just had to release it and like, Lord, I choose you not what you

521
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:38.880
say is going to happen or not what I thought you said was going to happen or, or whatever

522
00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:44.960
I choose that. And I don't understand Lord. I it's a mystery to me between the spirit world

523
00:32:46.080 --> 00:32:54.000
and the manifestations that don't seem to align with what it is that you say and what it is that

524
00:32:54.000 --> 00:33:00.960
I know about the spirit world. So if all of this is confusing, instead of making a doctrine about

525
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:06.480
you off of all of this stuff, that doesn't seem to line up with what you said, I'm choosing to

526
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:13.440
abandon manifestations to tell me anything and I'm choosing you completely. So I know what that's

527
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:19.360
like of what you're talking about and how challenging that is to navigate, especially

528
00:33:19.360 --> 00:33:26.080
in my situation where it didn't happen. And it wasn't even just like it was her. It was what

529
00:33:26.080 --> 00:33:30.880
God told her. God had told me separately and we didn't talk about it for six months. And then

530
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:35.280
finally she found out that God had told me that. And she's like, okay, now I know that God can,

531
00:33:35.280 --> 00:33:40.800
that God, I can now share with you that God told me that about you six months ago in an almost

532
00:33:40.800 --> 00:33:45.280
audible voice. And we didn't even know that each other were talking about, uh, talking about that

533
00:33:45.280 --> 00:33:50.240
or thinking about that or praying about that between us and the Lord. So, so anyway, it's

534
00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:58.080
very, very, so my point is super hard. Yeah, it was very hard, but it wasn't as hard as I would

535
00:33:58.080 --> 00:34:04.240
have. It was hard, but it wasn't as hard as I would have, as it would have been, had I not

536
00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:09.840
been where I was with the Lord at the time where I just knew by that time, I have to abandon the

537
00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:16.080
manifestations because by the time that it didn't happen, I had already gone through, for instance,

538
00:34:16.080 --> 00:34:20.960
that time in Venice where I've been, I've been, you know, God had always quote unquote shown up

539
00:34:20.960 --> 00:34:26.239
with a particular manifestation. And all of a sudden the manifestation stopped and I'm like,

540
00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:31.040
and I'm really having to face, which do I pick? Do I, am I going to pick the manifestation or am

541
00:34:31.040 --> 00:34:35.040
I going to pick God? And if the manifestation doesn't happen because God creates it, am I

542
00:34:35.040 --> 00:34:40.639
going to choose to create it on my own in order to do that? I have to abandon God. And I chose

543
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:48.400
instead God, instead of abandoning him in order to work for or control the manifestation.

544
00:34:49.600 --> 00:34:56.000
And that's what I chose. And so by the time that this whole thing came out where it didn't happen,

545
00:34:57.280 --> 00:35:00.000
then that happened, I don't know, several months after.

546
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.240
Well, not several, but a few months after, it wasn't even a year.

547
00:35:03.240 --> 00:35:06.280
It was a few months after that thing happened in Venice.

548
00:35:06.280 --> 00:35:14.160
By that time, God had walked me through having chosen him and believing him instead of how

549
00:35:14.160 --> 00:35:19.200
things worked out over and over and over again to the point where by the time this one happened,

550
00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:23.040
which was a really big deal to me and a really big deal to both of us, and we felt like we'd

551
00:35:23.040 --> 00:35:26.280
gotten dozens and dozens and dozens of affirmations for it.

552
00:35:26.280 --> 00:35:33.840
By that time, I could let go of something that had a potential of a terrible stronghold

553
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:34.840
in my life.

554
00:35:34.840 --> 00:35:39.760
I was able to let go of it more easily because I'd had practice in letting go of all of these

555
00:35:39.760 --> 00:35:40.760
other areas.

556
00:35:40.760 --> 00:35:41.760
So it was more easy.

557
00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:43.520
But the point is I've had to do it.

558
00:35:43.520 --> 00:35:53.400
So when I tell you that this is how I've learned that God is instructing us to do it, I'm telling

559
00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:59.320
you this in light of living it myself and knowing how hard it is, as opposed to, oh,

560
00:35:59.320 --> 00:36:03.440
theoretically, this is what God says, and I'm sorry you're in that situation, Annette,

561
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:07.960
and I've been in a little situation, but I know that God's bigger than that, and this

562
00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:09.160
is what you need to believe for yours.

563
00:36:09.160 --> 00:36:13.000
I'm telling you, having actually walked in my own way, my own experiences, whatever,

564
00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:14.000
it wasn't a court case.

565
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:19.280
I've had a court case where I had to walk through that with the Lord, but the particular

566
00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:23.440
example that I'm giving right now isn't a court case, but it was a very big deal.

567
00:36:23.440 --> 00:36:27.920
And the reason that it was a big deal was because it emotionally had me like this, just

568
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:30.480
like the court case emotionally has you.

569
00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:35.200
And so the whole point, the reason that it makes everything so strong and creates such

570
00:36:35.200 --> 00:36:38.800
a stronghold in our life is the authority and the power that we give it.

571
00:36:38.800 --> 00:36:43.920
And it's that hard to release something that we have grabbed ahold of that hard.

572
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:48.400
So I just wanted to let you know, it is possible and it is just as hard as you're feeling it

573
00:36:48.560 --> 00:36:49.280
is.

574
00:36:49.280 --> 00:36:53.920
So don't make yourself up about it and get frustrated and be like, okay, well, you know,

575
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:54.960
Lord, this is really hard.

576
00:36:54.960 --> 00:36:55.840
What you're asking.

577
00:36:56.480 --> 00:36:57.600
He knows.

578
00:36:57.600 --> 00:37:03.600
That's why he encourages you to such an extent and tries to give you, give you encouragement

579
00:37:03.600 --> 00:37:08.720
through things like having it work out, you know, the first, all of that, and, and giving

580
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:13.920
you a friend that can, that I'm heard that, and that you can get encouragement from hearing

581
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:19.040
those signs that those prophetic signs and whatever, and because he's pouring into you,

582
00:37:19.040 --> 00:37:22.880
but there's still always a measure of, of huge risk.

583
00:37:23.520 --> 00:37:26.400
There's never complete certainty.

584
00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:31.440
I mean, with all of the encouragement that he'll give you, there's never a point where

585
00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:34.800
it'll take care of all of the, all of the questions.

586
00:37:34.800 --> 00:37:39.600
And there you'll still be left with a huge risk that you have to make at the end of just

587
00:37:39.600 --> 00:37:40.400
making it.

588
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:46.320
And so one of the things that I'd encourage you to do is as a way of stepping out in faith

589
00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:51.120
that, okay, Lord, if this is what you're wanting me to do, here's an action that I can take

590
00:37:51.120 --> 00:37:56.320
is to really, truly let go of any potential threat of it happening.

591
00:37:57.440 --> 00:37:59.680
Not denying that it could happen.

592
00:37:59.680 --> 00:38:03.760
Because again, like what we're talking about, if you choose something and you deny the possibility

593
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:07.920
of this thing over here, you're not really choosing it because you're like, oh, well,

594
00:38:08.080 --> 00:38:11.760
it's only if this isn't a possibility that I can actually choose this.

595
00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:17.520
No fully realizing, no, that is actually a potential possibility that this could happen

596
00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:22.400
in the face of that, Lord, I am fully celebrating what it is that you did.

597
00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:24.240
I don't know what you're going to do about this.

598
00:38:24.240 --> 00:38:24.880
The appeal.

599
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:26.880
I don't know if you're going to allow it to go through.

600
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:29.920
I don't know if you're going to allow a judge to accept it because just because they appeal

601
00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:30.960
doesn't mean a judge.

602
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:34.960
Well, at least if your system in Norway works like America, just because you appeal,

603
00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:41.840
doesn't mean that it's valid enough for a judge to accept that as a, yeah, to, to appeal.

604
00:38:41.840 --> 00:38:44.880
It's like, well, yeah, but that's not enough new evidence.

605
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:45.440
You know?

606
00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:46.000
Yeah.

607
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:49.680
So anyway, so just because they appeal, it's kind of like impeachment, just because a president

608
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:51.760
is impeached doesn't mean he gets kicked out.

609
00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:55.680
It just means that he's, I mean, president Clinton was impeached and he wasn't kicked out.

610
00:38:55.680 --> 00:39:01.600
So there's all of these, these steps that have to happen before something goes through.

611
00:39:01.600 --> 00:39:09.760
But anyway, the point is that you fully celebrate regardless of if that threat,

612
00:39:10.560 --> 00:39:12.880
if that potential threat really does happen.

613
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:18.240
It's fully writing in light of the fact that it could very well happen.

614
00:39:18.240 --> 00:39:22.320
And then you, because here's the thing you were then choosing, Lord, I fully received

615
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:26.880
the gift you're giving me as opposed to what I have conditions on receiving it.

616
00:39:26.880 --> 00:39:29.120
And so it's a practice of receipt.

617
00:39:29.120 --> 00:39:29.680
Everything.

618
00:39:29.680 --> 00:39:34.320
It is that God wants to give us because there's stuff that comes with it.

619
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:38.160
Not just the gift that he gave you of the, how the court case where it worked out,

620
00:39:38.160 --> 00:39:42.880
but also aspects of himself that you'll receive when you fully receive what he gave you.

621
00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:46.400
There's aspects of himself and his relationship with you and your intimacy

622
00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:51.360
and his intimacy with you that you'll receive when you fully receive what he did.

623
00:39:52.080 --> 00:39:52.720
Yeah.

624
00:39:52.720 --> 00:39:55.120
The other thing ends up happening and the appeal.

625
00:39:55.120 --> 00:39:57.520
And even if, and let's just talk about worst case scenario,

626
00:39:57.520 --> 00:39:59.920
even if it is appealed and then it's overturned.

627
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:09.120
It's like, it doesn't, it's like fully celebrating what it is that God did and expressed of himself

628
00:40:09.120 --> 00:40:15.880
and gave you of him, not what, not what he caused to happen, but what he gave of himself

629
00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:20.600
to you in expressing those things to you by having the court case work out the way it

630
00:40:20.600 --> 00:40:22.320
did and all of that.

631
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:31.480
Even if it were to be overturned later, it doesn't nullify and, um, and neutralize or

632
00:40:31.480 --> 00:40:34.200
completely abolish what he did.

633
00:40:34.200 --> 00:40:38.360
He was trying to communicate and express and give you an aspect of himself.

634
00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:40.580
And that can't ever be taken away from you.

635
00:40:40.580 --> 00:40:44.360
Even if worst case scenario should ever happen, which I don't expect at all, but I'm just

636
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:50.520
saying that even if we have to make these steps of faith, we have to choose God in light

637
00:40:50.520 --> 00:40:56.780
of the worst possible thing happening, keeping that in mind as a real possibility.

638
00:40:56.780 --> 00:41:02.600
And in the face of that possibility, making the choice that is that I'm telling you is

639
00:41:02.600 --> 00:41:04.680
not just like, Oh, that's me being obedient.

640
00:41:04.680 --> 00:41:06.160
No, it's more than that.

641
00:41:06.160 --> 00:41:11.920
That is such a powerful decision that it literally, there's an aspect of creation in the spirit,

642
00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:16.500
in the spirit world, in the soul world, and in the, in the physical creation that literally

643
00:41:16.500 --> 00:41:21.820
shapes because that, that decision that you make is that powerful.

644
00:41:21.820 --> 00:41:27.420
I wish I knew how to describe that, but it's more than you simply being obedient.

645
00:41:27.420 --> 00:41:29.540
Well, this is what God asked me.

646
00:41:29.540 --> 00:41:36.900
No, it's a powerful, it's a, uh, by doing that, there's a way that you are operating.

647
00:41:36.900 --> 00:41:42.300
There's some authority and, and power that you are using at that moment that sets out

648
00:41:42.300 --> 00:41:45.820
a decree as a king into your kingdom.

649
00:41:45.820 --> 00:41:52.940
And all you did was you chose to receive what God gave you that acts like a powerful decree

650
00:41:52.940 --> 00:41:54.000
in your kingdom.

651
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:59.100
And it literally reverberates throughout your kingdom in, um, uh, in, in the, in the soul

652
00:41:59.100 --> 00:42:03.980
realm, in the body realm, bringing the spirit in, I don't know how to describe it any better,

653
00:42:03.980 --> 00:42:09.240
but it just, it's, it literally, it's like everything quakes as a result of you making

654
00:42:09.240 --> 00:42:10.240
that decision.

655
00:42:10.240 --> 00:42:11.660
So it's very powerful.

656
00:42:12.020 --> 00:42:14.140
It's not just simply, okay, God, I'm so sorry.

657
00:42:14.140 --> 00:42:15.940
I'm going to try to be obedient.

658
00:42:15.940 --> 00:42:21.420
It's it's a powerful decision that affects creation simply because she made that choice.

659
00:42:21.420 --> 00:42:26.780
And then other things can happen as a result in the future of you making that choice now.

660
00:42:26.780 --> 00:42:27.780
Anyway.

661
00:42:27.780 --> 00:42:28.780
Yeah.

662
00:42:28.780 --> 00:42:32.260
I hope that what I was saying made sense, uh, because I really did see a lot there and

663
00:42:32.260 --> 00:42:36.180
I didn't have a, anyway, so no, it really helps.

664
00:42:36.180 --> 00:42:40.020
And it's like, I'm, I'm going to choose that and I have chosen it and I will continue to

665
00:42:40.020 --> 00:42:43.860
choose it regardless of like, maybe not feeling it.

666
00:42:43.860 --> 00:42:49.460
Cause I think it's just been gone on for such a long time that it's like, I was even like,

667
00:42:49.460 --> 00:42:52.540
God, I'm like, I'm so grateful, but I can't feel it.

668
00:42:52.540 --> 00:42:56.580
Like I can't connect to my feelings because I'm just like, I'm so exhausted.

669
00:42:56.580 --> 00:42:58.820
It's been a lasting for such a long time.

670
00:42:58.820 --> 00:43:05.180
Like I can't even celebrate, you know, but I can choose to like celebrate without feeling

671
00:43:05.180 --> 00:43:06.980
the feeling of like,

672
00:43:07.980 --> 00:43:15.100
No feeling, no logic, not, not in a way.

673
00:43:15.100 --> 00:43:20.220
What I always talk about feelings, what I always connect feelings with is our belief.

674
00:43:20.220 --> 00:43:21.620
You may not believe it.

675
00:43:21.620 --> 00:43:26.660
You may not, um, you may not logically, it may not make any logical sense, but you make

676
00:43:26.660 --> 00:43:30.740
a willful decision that it's true anyway.

677
00:43:30.740 --> 00:43:35.540
And God honors that because he's like, she chose me over herself.

678
00:43:35.540 --> 00:43:39.500
She chose the fact that I said it over the fact that she doesn't believe it over the

679
00:43:39.500 --> 00:43:43.060
fact that she didn't feel it over the fact that it does not make logical sense.

680
00:43:43.060 --> 00:43:46.900
So in his mind, what you did is you chose him over yourself and that self-sacrifice,

681
00:43:46.900 --> 00:43:51.580
um, uh, anyway, and that's being a living sacrifice, et cetera.

682
00:43:51.580 --> 00:43:53.060
And that'll make a really powerful thing.

683
00:43:53.060 --> 00:44:01.020
So that's a way that you can act on faith, um, by like choosing to celebrate, choosing

684
00:44:01.020 --> 00:44:03.900
to do that, choosing to fully receive.

685
00:44:04.060 --> 00:44:05.820
Even when you don't feel like it.

686
00:44:05.820 --> 00:44:08.660
And then for the rest of the feeling, I know you're tired.

687
00:44:09.020 --> 00:44:13.940
There is a way to make that intentional and willful decision and let it all go.

688
00:44:13.940 --> 00:44:19.820
We're not talking about that requires exerted effort because remember you don't feel it

689
00:44:20.420 --> 00:44:24.060
and you don't logically believe that it logically see how it's true.

690
00:44:24.220 --> 00:44:27.940
So we're not talking about a faith that, Oh my goodness, you know, I'm just exhausted,

691
00:44:27.940 --> 00:44:31.780
but I got to exert a bit more effort to have faith.

692
00:44:31.940 --> 00:44:34.140
We're not taught that still strife.

693
00:44:34.700 --> 00:44:35.700
Faith is a gift.

694
00:44:35.820 --> 00:44:37.340
Just make a willful decision.

695
00:44:37.340 --> 00:44:41.900
God, you made me, you gave me a free will to make a decision.

696
00:44:41.900 --> 00:44:49.420
And by that free will, I may, I completely deny, not, not deny the reality, but deny

697
00:44:49.420 --> 00:44:56.020
as in like, um, don't allow, don't give permission to my feelings, my logic to rule

698
00:44:56.020 --> 00:44:57.260
this current situation.

699
00:44:57.260 --> 00:44:59.820
Instead, I choose my free.

700
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.360
will and, and intention and decision to rule the situation.

701
00:45:04.360 --> 00:45:06.620
And I decide that what you said is true.

702
00:45:06.960 --> 00:45:11.360
And then, and then you just let go of your feelings and your

703
00:45:11.360 --> 00:45:16.380
logic, instead of trying to make what God's make them reconcile

704
00:45:16.380 --> 00:45:19.600
with what God said, you don't need to try to get your feelings

705
00:45:19.640 --> 00:45:22.520
and your logic to reconcile with God.

706
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:27.200
It'll naturally happen over time because you made the choice

707
00:45:27.200 --> 00:45:28.380
that what God said is true.

708
00:45:28.640 --> 00:45:31.860
Then allow God, then that will allow God's power to

709
00:45:31.860 --> 00:45:33.720
transform you naturally.

710
00:45:34.460 --> 00:45:37.700
We can feel exhausted when we think on my word, I'm supposed

711
00:45:37.700 --> 00:45:42.900
to have faith when I'm tired, then, then it, then we're

712
00:45:42.900 --> 00:45:44.040
going about it all wrong.

713
00:45:44.040 --> 00:45:46.640
There's no effort and exertion needed.

714
00:45:47.200 --> 00:45:51.300
When, in order to have faith, you have faith, you make a willful

715
00:45:51.300 --> 00:45:55.900
intentional decision about something, and then you allow God to eventually

716
00:45:55.940 --> 00:45:57.900
change your feelings and your logic.

717
00:45:58.420 --> 00:45:59.660
It'll happen naturally.

718
00:45:59.660 --> 00:46:03.480
You don't have to exert any effort and energy to trying to get them to

719
00:46:03.480 --> 00:46:07.820
change and to reconcile and to align with God, talk to them, you know,

720
00:46:07.820 --> 00:46:10.720
encourage them to do that, meaning your body and your soul, talk to them,

721
00:46:10.720 --> 00:46:14.440
encourage them to do that, but don't try to get them to do that.

722
00:46:15.140 --> 00:46:18.460
Let it happen because you chose instead of your feelings and your

723
00:46:18.460 --> 00:46:20.980
logic, you chose your free will instead.

724
00:46:21.860 --> 00:46:23.640
And you said, that is what's going to rule.

725
00:46:24.100 --> 00:46:25.460
And this is what I've decided.

726
00:46:25.740 --> 00:46:31.540
And so that will bring in God's power and authority to, uh, to transform your

727
00:46:31.540 --> 00:46:33.460
soul and your body without you trying.

728
00:46:34.260 --> 00:46:35.320
So we'll take it.

729
00:46:35.320 --> 00:46:38.420
So I'm glad that you brought up the fact that you're tired so that I could

730
00:46:38.420 --> 00:46:42.980
explain, there's not supposed to be effort, even in trying to get yourself

731
00:46:42.980 --> 00:46:46.740
to come along with, uh, like the whole, whole rest of you to come along with the

732
00:46:46.740 --> 00:46:48.660
party, they'll change over time.

733
00:46:50.260 --> 00:46:53.540
So in fact, they'll usually change within a few days.

734
00:46:53.540 --> 00:46:55.740
Depends on how difficult the situation is.

735
00:46:55.740 --> 00:46:58.980
But I would imagine that for you with continually just making the willful

736
00:46:58.980 --> 00:47:03.660
intentional decision that that your free will is what's making is going to act as

737
00:47:03.660 --> 00:47:09.420
a King to line up with what's what's your spirit says, then your soul, what

738
00:47:09.420 --> 00:47:12.940
you've done is you've willfully put your soul and your body into submission to

739
00:47:12.940 --> 00:47:18.860
being ruled and you just allow the change to happen and to take place instead of

740
00:47:18.860 --> 00:47:20.980
strong arming them to come into alignment.

741
00:47:21.380 --> 00:47:23.940
That takes energy and you don't need to do that.

742
00:47:24.740 --> 00:47:28.620
And it happened within a few days to maybe a week or so.

743
00:47:30.060 --> 00:47:30.580
Cool.

744
00:47:31.060 --> 00:47:31.260
Yeah.

745
00:47:31.260 --> 00:47:32.140
Thank you so much.

746
00:47:32.420 --> 00:47:34.060
Just like with the weight, right?

747
00:47:34.660 --> 00:47:35.100
Yes.

748
00:47:35.140 --> 00:47:35.380
Yeah.

749
00:47:35.380 --> 00:47:37.380
Like, yeah, exactly.

750
00:47:39.020 --> 00:47:40.740
Oh, thank you so much.

751
00:47:41.380 --> 00:47:42.060
I love this.

752
00:47:42.060 --> 00:47:45.820
Such a good, that was a lot, but I hope it was, but I know that what you're going

753
00:47:45.820 --> 00:47:47.580
through is really, really challenging.

754
00:47:47.580 --> 00:47:52.660
And I just wanted, and I wanted you to leave encouraged and that as hard as the

755
00:47:52.660 --> 00:47:57.220
choice that is to make, at least it's supposed to be effortless without strife.

756
00:47:57.740 --> 00:48:01.460
You have to, you have to make that risk of disappointment.

757
00:48:01.860 --> 00:48:07.340
You have to risk yourself, but there's no strife in it, but it's hard to make that

758
00:48:07.340 --> 00:48:10.820
decision because you feel like you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position

759
00:48:10.820 --> 00:48:12.500
to be disappointed or hurt by God.

760
00:48:13.100 --> 00:48:19.780
And you have to choose his goodness over the fact that you could get hurt anyway.

761
00:48:20.620 --> 00:48:20.900
But yeah.

762
00:48:22.180 --> 00:48:24.180
So Priscilla, how are you?

763
00:48:25.380 --> 00:48:27.060
She's trying to get a present.

764
00:48:27.340 --> 00:48:28.980
I'm so excited.

765
00:48:28.980 --> 00:48:32.140
You got a little boy on the sideline.

766
00:48:32.420 --> 00:48:33.860
We're having a baby.

767
00:48:34.340 --> 00:48:35.180
That was so cute.

768
00:48:35.180 --> 00:48:36.180
So cute.

769
00:48:36.180 --> 00:48:38.180
I thought that was cute.

770
00:48:38.180 --> 00:48:39.780
That was the cutest.

771
00:48:39.780 --> 00:48:40.780
Can't tell any.

772
00:48:40.780 --> 00:48:41.780
I loved it.

773
00:48:42.300 --> 00:48:47.660
I know you don't have, I know you don't have Instagram Ashley, but I put a, I put

774
00:48:47.660 --> 00:48:49.340
a video of him up the other day.

775
00:48:49.340 --> 00:48:53.300
You have to see it because it's so stinking cute and it's really short here.

776
00:48:53.300 --> 00:48:53.780
Let me see.

777
00:48:53.780 --> 00:48:54.980
I do have Instagram.

778
00:48:54.980 --> 00:48:56.460
I'm just not on there much.

779
00:48:56.460 --> 00:49:00.980
So the only way that it gets populated is because it's connected to my Facebook.

780
00:49:00.980 --> 00:49:05.700
So whenever I do or videos, it'll naturally populate.

781
00:49:05.700 --> 00:49:07.660
But other than that, I never get here.

782
00:49:07.660 --> 00:49:08.860
This was him the other day.

783
00:49:11.780 --> 00:49:15.740
That baby, that one.

784
00:49:18.260 --> 00:49:22.100
Why, what is it?

785
00:49:22.340 --> 00:49:23.660
Why, why do you want that baby?

786
00:49:27.420 --> 00:49:28.340
What did he say?

787
00:49:29.540 --> 00:49:31.500
He keeps saying, I want to get that baby.

788
00:49:31.860 --> 00:49:32.340
Yeah.

789
00:49:32.340 --> 00:49:34.620
And what was the last thing when Arnold asked him?

790
00:49:34.620 --> 00:49:36.060
He's like, why, what did he say?

791
00:49:36.220 --> 00:49:38.100
He just said he wants to get that baby again.

792
00:49:40.500 --> 00:49:41.260
I want that one.

793
00:49:42.060 --> 00:49:44.900
No, I would get that one.

794
00:49:44.900 --> 00:49:45.300
Yeah.

795
00:49:45.460 --> 00:49:45.660
Okay.

796
00:49:45.660 --> 00:49:48.220
You guys need to go outside and put jackets on and shoes and socks.

797
00:49:49.340 --> 00:49:50.460
Well, then you need to be quiet.

798
00:49:50.580 --> 00:49:50.980
Okay.

799
00:49:54.300 --> 00:49:55.100
It's yeah.

800
00:49:55.100 --> 00:49:56.780
It's like 64 today.

801
00:49:56.780 --> 00:49:58.140
I think a high of 64.

802
00:49:58.140 --> 00:49:58.500
Yeah.

803
00:49:59.740 --> 00:50:00.060
Um,

804
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.980
Um, Monty, please be quiet.

805
00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:04.100
Yeah.

806
00:50:04.100 --> 00:50:06.600
Today has been day one of the cleanse.

807
00:50:06.640 --> 00:50:15.620
And so I felt a lot of ragey emotions.

808
00:50:15.740 --> 00:50:21.460
Um, and I keep telling myself, I know that it's just because I have not

809
00:50:21.460 --> 00:50:26.180
eaten anything except like muddy protein shake three of them today.

810
00:50:26.960 --> 00:50:34.240
Um, but yeah, so I feel like my brain is not functioning correctly today.

811
00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:37.620
Go.

812
00:50:38.760 --> 00:50:39.200
Thank you.

813
00:50:40.400 --> 00:50:43.240
Um, but yeah.

814
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:49.480
Um, so I feel like, um, your messages were very, very helpful by the way.

815
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:55.100
And I feel, uh, I don't know if you, did you listen to my last voice message?

816
00:50:55.860 --> 00:50:56.160
Okay.

817
00:50:56.160 --> 00:50:56.440
Yeah.

818
00:50:56.940 --> 00:50:59.720
So then I was like, oh shoot, should I be doing this cleanse?

819
00:50:59.760 --> 00:51:03.140
And yet, like, I feel, I feel fine doing the cleanse.

820
00:51:03.140 --> 00:51:03.740
So I don't know.

821
00:51:04.840 --> 00:51:05.040
Yeah.

822
00:51:05.040 --> 00:51:06.560
I mean, why shouldn't she do the cleanse?

823
00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:11.220
Well, I think, I think it was more just like, oh, well, like, I think sometimes

824
00:51:11.220 --> 00:51:15.680
I struggle with knowing the balance between like taking things into my own

825
00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:17.540
hands through like doing, okay.

826
00:51:17.540 --> 00:51:20.820
So like this last year I've been doing like a ton of supplements and working

827
00:51:20.820 --> 00:51:27.080
with a functional medicine doctor and like trying to, um, Figure some things

828
00:51:27.080 --> 00:51:29.580
out and I've been taking some different supplements that I do feel like I've

829
00:51:29.580 --> 00:51:33.960
been helping, um, but yeah, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I'm

830
00:51:33.960 --> 00:51:37.440
like, oh my word, like I was about five pounds heavier than I was last time.

831
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:38.040
I weighed myself.

832
00:51:38.040 --> 00:51:39.160
I'm like, what in the world?

833
00:51:39.620 --> 00:51:44.640
And in one way, I feel like I'm able to just kind of like stand outside of myself

834
00:51:44.640 --> 00:51:46.180
and be like, oh, that's really fascinating.

835
00:51:46.180 --> 00:51:47.560
I wonder why I'm gaining so much weight.

836
00:51:47.940 --> 00:51:52.140
And then the other part of me is like, oh my word, I'm going to lose my mind.

837
00:51:52.140 --> 00:51:55.360
I can't believe that I'm this heavy and I'm never this heavy

838
00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:56.940
unless I'm like almost do.

839
00:51:58.100 --> 00:51:59.860
Oh, so I don't even know.

840
00:51:59.860 --> 00:52:03.340
I don't even know where the weight is all coming from or, and I

841
00:52:03.340 --> 00:52:04.660
can't even figure it out either.

842
00:52:04.700 --> 00:52:07.780
Like, I don't feel like when I look at myself, I'm like, oh wow, I'm so huge.

843
00:52:07.780 --> 00:52:12.100
But I do know that when I look at old pictures of myself, I'm like, wow.

844
00:52:12.180 --> 00:52:14.980
Um, I was a lot scarier back then.

845
00:52:15.600 --> 00:52:22.880
So can you please go get some books or something and sit on the couch?

846
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:23.320
Okay.

847
00:52:24.520 --> 00:52:27.080
You can either choose to do that, or you can choose to spend your quiet

848
00:52:27.080 --> 00:52:29.040
time on the recliner with no books.

849
00:52:29.800 --> 00:52:32.360
What do you remember what I saw?

850
00:52:33.200 --> 00:52:35.040
Now is not the time to ask me a question.

851
00:52:35.720 --> 00:52:35.880
Yes.

852
00:52:35.880 --> 00:52:37.320
You can ask me after the call.

853
00:52:38.040 --> 00:52:40.680
What's um, would you hear what I said?

854
00:52:41.120 --> 00:52:43.720
I'll answer your question as soon as I'm done with the call.

855
00:52:44.260 --> 00:52:45.100
Go find your books.

856
00:52:45.660 --> 00:52:46.100
Thank you.

857
00:52:47.580 --> 00:52:50.700
Um, so anyway, very well.

858
00:52:51.400 --> 00:52:53.300
I don't even remember what I was talking about.

859
00:52:57.860 --> 00:52:59.820
Well, you don't know where the weight is coming from.

860
00:52:59.820 --> 00:53:00.900
And yes, yes.

861
00:53:01.180 --> 00:53:08.060
So I feel like, honestly, I feel like very at rest in, in my spirit.

862
00:53:08.060 --> 00:53:10.380
And like, I feel like, you know what?

863
00:53:10.640 --> 00:53:15.920
I think this journey with my health and my weight is actually something that I can

864
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:19.400
rest and trust the Lord with, and I don't have to be worried.

865
00:53:19.400 --> 00:53:23.120
And I think the biggest thing that I've been like focusing on right now is first

866
00:53:23.120 --> 00:53:29.080
of all, that I'm loved by God and that like in my spirit, I can't sin and that

867
00:53:29.080 --> 00:53:30.800
I'm fully and wholly loved by him.

868
00:53:30.840 --> 00:53:35.600
And I feel almost like, well, like last night I finally had some time alone with

869
00:53:35.600 --> 00:53:41.540
the Lord and I felt like it was a new level of vulnerability and intimacy with

870
00:53:41.540 --> 00:53:47.340
him than I have known before, which is very, yeah, last night.

871
00:53:47.340 --> 00:53:47.580
Yeah.

872
00:53:48.380 --> 00:53:53.480
So, and it wasn't like, it wasn't like, um, I can really put it into words or

873
00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:56.100
like, I was like screaming in tongues or anything like that.

874
00:53:56.100 --> 00:54:02.500
It was more just like this deep knowing of like, I, like I am the Lord and I are

875
00:54:02.520 --> 00:54:07.280
so one and I felt like not anxious about life.

876
00:54:07.880 --> 00:54:12.360
Um, I think the biggest thing that's always in the back of my mind, I know

877
00:54:12.360 --> 00:54:16.720
this whole business thing, I feel like a giant eye roll with the way

878
00:54:16.720 --> 00:54:18.080
that I struggle with my business.

879
00:54:18.120 --> 00:54:25.180
But I think that's the biggest thing for me right now is like, I'm so, whenever

880
00:54:25.180 --> 00:54:28.300
I think of my business, I do feel very heavy and I keep trying to think of

881
00:54:28.300 --> 00:54:31.480
like, okay, like how can I connect with my team and, and I was thinking about

882
00:54:31.480 --> 00:54:32.440
some things I'm like, you know what?

883
00:54:32.440 --> 00:54:34.960
Maybe I could just have like a zoom call where I invite them

884
00:54:34.960 --> 00:54:37.100
all and we just hang out.

885
00:54:37.120 --> 00:54:38.720
Like, it's more like get to know you.

886
00:54:38.720 --> 00:54:43.420
And I could ask fun questions, not like business stuff, but get to know you and

887
00:54:43.820 --> 00:54:46.820
talk about the Lord and, you know, um, different things like that.

888
00:54:47.580 --> 00:54:50.320
But then at the same time, I feel like whenever I try to think of my

889
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:52.700
business, I just feel muddled.

890
00:54:52.800 --> 00:54:55.040
Like I feel confused.

891
00:54:55.080 --> 00:54:59.660
I feel anxious and I am not sure like what's going on.

892
00:54:59.660 --> 00:55:00.040
I don't.

893
00:55:00.640 --> 00:55:07.600
feel inspired, put it that way. Um, and even when you think about doing that zoom call thing,

894
00:55:07.600 --> 00:55:13.440
because it's busy. Yeah, because no, it's not about like, yes, even I'm just like,

895
00:55:14.800 --> 00:55:21.440
and so I did have, so when I, I feel like when things really actually started shifting for me

896
00:55:21.440 --> 00:55:25.200
was when Arnold and I had a conversation, this was probably like two months ago where

897
00:55:25.200 --> 00:55:31.280
I just like, I mean, I've had several breakdowns like this, but this was one of them. And I was

898
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:37.680
like crying and sobbing and just telling him like how overwhelmed I feel with life and how I feel

899
00:55:37.680 --> 00:55:42.720
like trapped in my business because all of a sudden it's become this beast that pays our bills

900
00:55:42.720 --> 00:55:48.240
and I have to keep feeding it or it won't pay our bills, you know? And, um, and it's gotten to the

901
00:55:48.240 --> 00:55:52.160
place too, where like Arnold doesn't have to work as much, but it's almost like he can't work as

902
00:55:52.160 --> 00:55:56.560
much because he's like constantly having to come to my rescue, whether emotionally or physically.

903
00:55:57.280 --> 00:56:03.440
And so on the outside, I was like, Oh, it's amazing. Like look, Arnold barely has to work.

904
00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:10.640
And I'm like, yeah, yay. Um, but, and in that conversation, he's like, you know, I feel like

905
00:56:10.640 --> 00:56:14.800
we've come to a place in our marriage where we're like, you know what? We both feel peace with no

906
00:56:14.800 --> 00:56:19.280
matter where our finances are. We know that we're going to love each other and we're going to love

907
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:24.240
our kids and we're going to be okay. But something he said in that conversation, he said, you know,

908
00:56:24.240 --> 00:56:30.880
if I have to go and like get a really steady job in order to make any, like, I'll do that.

909
00:56:31.440 --> 00:56:40.720
And I felt like a sense of security and safety and like I relaxed. And I feel like ever since then,

910
00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:46.160
I have been having these breakthroughs, like what I was telling you guys about and all the things

911
00:56:46.160 --> 00:56:52.800
that I've written down. And, but there's still something inside of me that like, I'm afraid of

912
00:56:53.680 --> 00:57:00.240
doing anything besides what we're doing right now, because I think I'm afraid of a change in

913
00:57:00.240 --> 00:57:06.720
financial status. And when I take away all the money stuff, I feel like I can dream and be like,

914
00:57:06.720 --> 00:57:10.240
Oh, like, I wonder what would actually happen. Like if I wouldn't be like,

915
00:57:10.800 --> 00:57:15.440
tied down to this business and like Arnold and I could like dream and, you know, whatever, I wonder

916
00:57:15.440 --> 00:57:19.200
like what would happen. And then the other part of me is like, so scared that I don't even want

917
00:57:19.200 --> 00:57:24.800
to think about it because what if, what if all our money would go out the window? What if the

918
00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:32.000
Lord wants us to be poor? And so like, these are still the things that I am like wrestling through

919
00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:37.840
and I don't, yeah, I guess it's still an area that I need breakthrough in. Yeah, that makes sense.

920
00:57:38.080 --> 00:57:46.880
Yeah, that makes sense. So interestingly I went through that as well with that whole aspect of,

921
00:57:47.920 --> 00:58:00.080
of how to, how do I put it? Where I was feeling pressure with, with you know, with the inner,

922
00:58:00.080 --> 00:58:06.640
his rest ministries, I was feeling pressure, even though I was trying to not feel pressure

923
00:58:07.200 --> 00:58:15.440
because when Ed left his ministry job and we didn't know what we were going to do when we came

924
00:58:15.440 --> 00:58:22.400
here to Dallas. And so now he has a job, but the thing is we didn't have that in the wings. When

925
00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:26.480
we came, we didn't know what we were going to do. And so I just told him, I said, you know what,

926
00:58:26.480 --> 00:58:35.920
the Lord has always taken care of us through he's always taken care of me. And and so I know that,

927
00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:41.120
you know, because that's who he is, meaning that's who God is. He's always going to, he's going to

928
00:58:41.120 --> 00:58:45.040
continue to take care of us now that, you know, even though now we're married and it's not just

929
00:58:45.040 --> 00:58:52.240
me, it's just is because that's who God is, but we got here and there was an aspect in which as

930
00:58:52.240 --> 00:58:57.520
much as I tried, and this is me just being very honest because it's just, I mean, this is us being

931
00:58:58.240 --> 00:59:04.640
people and struggling in our own relationship, the Lord to try to do what he tells us to do.

932
00:59:04.640 --> 00:59:08.880
In other words, have faith and believe in him as he tells us to. And that's just honestly

933
00:59:08.880 --> 00:59:14.400
struggling with the fact that it is hard and there's reasons why we don't and why there,

934
00:59:14.400 --> 00:59:20.560
why we try to, to rely on the world systems instead. And my point is we didn't have many

935
00:59:20.560 --> 00:59:26.160
coming in and I just from, you know, any job that, that, that we had other than my ministry.

936
00:59:26.160 --> 00:59:33.920
And so I was just trying to, I was trying to rely on the Lord to be the one to bring people

937
00:59:35.520 --> 00:59:41.840
to, you know, bring in finances and all of that, bring people into the programs, you know, et cetera.

938
00:59:42.480 --> 00:59:47.280
But there was something that Ed noticed it as well, because he's very spiritually sensitive.

939
00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:53.120
And so he began to sense that I was feeling a pressure. I was feeling the pressure of being

940
00:59:53.120 --> 00:59:59.600
the breadwinner. I was trying really hard not to, because we all know that God is supposed to take

941
00:59:59.600 --> 01:00:00.100
care of.

942
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.140
this and we're supposed to rely on him.

943
01:00:02.540 --> 01:00:07.180
And it's, you know, period, whether it's a business or it's a ministry.

944
01:00:07.180 --> 01:00:08.740
And technically my ministry is a business.

945
01:00:08.740 --> 01:00:12.620
It's an LLC, but you know, the thing is it's, it's spiritual.

946
01:00:12.820 --> 01:00:15.100
It's not, it's not skincare.

947
01:00:15.260 --> 01:00:19.900
It's like the whole thing is like God, you know, you were talking about like

948
01:00:19.900 --> 01:00:24.260
being concerned about like using God to like bring people in, you know, that is

949
01:00:24.260 --> 01:00:28.200
something that I have to, that I have a tendency to like have doubted myself

950
01:00:28.200 --> 01:00:30.460
about before I'm like, oh my word, am I using God?

951
01:00:30.460 --> 01:00:32.180
And I'm like, actually, that's stupid.

952
01:00:32.380 --> 01:00:35.100
This is your whole thing is to help people connect with the Lord.

953
01:00:35.100 --> 01:00:36.020
So what are you talking about?

954
01:00:36.020 --> 01:00:39.780
You're afraid that you're using God, you know, but it is a fear that'll come up

955
01:00:39.780 --> 01:00:42.040
or that the enemy will try to attack me with or whatever.

956
01:00:42.040 --> 01:00:44.500
So everything that you were saying, I just totally related to.

957
01:00:44.880 --> 01:00:46.080
So anyway, my point is.

958
01:00:46.780 --> 01:00:52.340
My husband, just like Arnold, you know, for you, it just sensed this, this, this

959
01:00:52.420 --> 01:00:56.760
pressure that I was feeling of being the breadwinner I was trying so hard not to,

960
01:00:57.080 --> 01:01:03.500
but I still was battling with that fleshly part of myself that the aspect of myself

961
01:01:03.500 --> 01:01:07.620
that was still an unbelief is God really that good is really going to protect me.

962
01:01:07.620 --> 01:01:09.060
What does God want from me?

963
01:01:09.060 --> 01:01:09.780
You know, that kind of thing.

964
01:01:10.020 --> 01:01:11.160
What does God expect of me?

965
01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:16.480
And so what Ed did is he said, Ashley, I don't want you to ever.

966
01:01:17.580 --> 01:01:23.200
He didn't want me to ever be tempted to feel that way about my ministry.

967
01:01:23.200 --> 01:01:28.660
He wants everything to just flow out of who it is that I am and to offer to other

968
01:01:28.660 --> 01:01:32.500
people just, uh, what it is that I live out of my spirit.

969
01:01:32.780 --> 01:01:35.620
Not something that I hear somebody crying.

970
01:01:35.860 --> 01:01:36.360
Yeah.

971
01:01:36.780 --> 01:01:37.660
I just want to make sure I didn't.

972
01:01:37.660 --> 01:01:39.140
So let me, that's right.

973
01:01:39.180 --> 01:01:39.680
That's right.

974
01:01:41.580 --> 01:01:42.540
Is everything okay.

975
01:01:43.460 --> 01:01:44.020
What happened?

976
01:01:47.440 --> 01:01:48.640
She has three kids.

977
01:01:48.820 --> 01:01:49.320
Yeah.

978
01:01:50.300 --> 01:01:55.300
Uh, I think, Oh, I don't remember if Monty's seven or eight, maybe he's eight.

979
01:01:55.780 --> 01:01:58.020
Gwen is seven, seven, right.

980
01:01:58.220 --> 01:02:02.500
Gwen is five and Lori is two.

981
01:02:03.540 --> 01:02:04.040
So yeah.

982
01:02:06.840 --> 01:02:09.460
Or two, maybe almost three.

983
01:02:16.700 --> 01:02:19.060
Anyway, so I was feeling all that pressure and whatever.

984
01:02:19.060 --> 01:02:22.480
So what Ed did is he said, you know, I said, I never want you to feel that

985
01:02:22.480 --> 01:02:24.320
about, about your ministry.

986
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:31.360
He's that I always, you need to be pouring into other people without, without being.

987
01:02:31.920 --> 01:02:35.040
Without feeling any kind of pressure that there's a return that you need to be

988
01:02:35.040 --> 01:02:35.540
getting.

989
01:02:36.040 --> 01:02:41.160
And, um, and he said, so he said, what I'm going to do is he's, I want you to

990
01:02:41.160 --> 01:02:46.420
explore that with the Lord and just release yourself again into rest.

991
01:02:46.800 --> 01:02:47.880
Um, because I was struggling.

992
01:02:47.880 --> 01:02:49.000
I was not in rest.

993
01:02:49.420 --> 01:02:52.720
And I knew I was supposed to be, but I was struggling to figure

994
01:02:52.720 --> 01:02:54.260
out how I was struggling to do it.

995
01:02:54.260 --> 01:02:54.600
Why?

996
01:02:54.600 --> 01:02:57.680
Because I was still, you know, like you and it talking about, you know, this,

997
01:02:57.740 --> 01:03:03.320
this whole thing about the outcome we just have, it's where we've been getting

998
01:03:03.320 --> 01:03:07.760
so much of our security from, and we're trying so hard in faith to untangle

999
01:03:07.760 --> 01:03:09.400
ourselves from it and to let it go.

1000
01:03:09.860 --> 01:03:12.060
But we all still struggle with it, including me.

1001
01:03:12.400 --> 01:03:18.120
So including in my ministry about rest, I was an unrest in my ministry about

1002
01:03:18.740 --> 01:03:21.900
and so these things, they're just real.

1003
01:03:21.900 --> 01:03:23.380
They're just, it's just the way it is.

1004
01:03:23.640 --> 01:03:28.020
And so anyway, so he knew that and he said, Ashley, I want you to release that.

1005
01:03:28.020 --> 01:03:32.260
He said, so I'm going to go get a job and I'm going to get a job.

1006
01:03:32.260 --> 01:03:35.740
And the reason that he, it wasn't that he wasn't normally going to get a job.

1007
01:03:35.740 --> 01:03:39.860
It's that from everything that he had just gone through, we both felt that our

1008
01:03:39.860 --> 01:03:41.780
highest priority needed to be him.

1009
01:03:42.220 --> 01:03:46.760
To rest and not rest is in like the spiritual sense rest is in physically,

1010
01:03:46.760 --> 01:03:48.700
emotionally, mentally, everything.

1011
01:03:48.700 --> 01:03:51.980
And we didn't, and I didn't want him to have any obligations like that.

1012
01:03:52.520 --> 01:03:57.220
Um, I wanted him to just be able to pull away from any external obligations

1013
01:03:57.220 --> 01:03:58.640
and just focus on him and the Lord.

1014
01:03:58.860 --> 01:04:01.740
He needed a lot of healing because some stuff that had happened, you know,

1015
01:04:01.740 --> 01:04:05.420
in ministry and all of that he needed, he needed his own healing

1016
01:04:05.420 --> 01:04:06.500
and to connect with the Lord.

1017
01:04:06.500 --> 01:04:07.840
So we were going to focus on that.

1018
01:04:08.180 --> 01:04:11.940
But when Ed saw the struggles that I was going through, he couldn't handle it.

1019
01:04:12.540 --> 01:04:13.860
Even though I was trying to like.

1020
01:04:14.560 --> 01:04:17.760
Keep my head above water and have faith and do it all in the right attitude.

1021
01:04:17.760 --> 01:04:18.600
I was still struggling.

1022
01:04:18.640 --> 01:04:19.560
Ed couldn't handle it.

1023
01:04:19.560 --> 01:04:22.080
And he's like, no, Ashley, this is what I think we need to do.

1024
01:04:22.120 --> 01:04:23.320
I need to go get a job.

1025
01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:28.400
We'll not delay my healing, you know, the Lord Ed's healing, but he's just like,

1026
01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:30.680
I just felt that this is what God has for us right now.

1027
01:04:31.000 --> 01:04:33.160
And that there are some things that God wants to do in your life.

1028
01:04:33.160 --> 01:04:34.800
So he said, that's what we're going to do.

1029
01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:35.560
And I was like, okay.

1030
01:04:35.720 --> 01:04:40.800
So he got a job, um, and, uh, a job was actually offered to him.

1031
01:04:41.020 --> 01:04:45.260
And so we both felt from the Lord that he was supposed to take it up, even

1032
01:04:45.260 --> 01:04:48.840
though originally we both strongly felt from the Lord, he wasn't supposed to work.

1033
01:04:49.080 --> 01:04:52.540
So we didn't work for a time, but by the time this opportunity came, both of us,

1034
01:04:52.540 --> 01:04:56.620
God had to change our hearts and show us that this was actually from God.

1035
01:04:56.620 --> 01:05:00.060
And so God, Ed took that on my point and telling you all.

1036
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.380
of that story is to let you know, I can relate to what you're talking about.

1037
01:05:03.440 --> 01:05:07.920
I, I felt this release and Ed watched it as well.

1038
01:05:07.920 --> 01:05:09.280
He watched that.

1039
01:05:09.280 --> 01:05:15.520
I no longer felt I was under that same pressure and God began to do a deeper

1040
01:05:15.520 --> 01:05:19.500
work in me to began to heal me and to shift me back into rest in my ministry.

1041
01:05:20.220 --> 01:05:25.440
And rest in and not, and not be worried about, well, how many people are coming

1042
01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:26.880
in and am I doing it right?

1043
01:05:26.880 --> 01:05:28.280
And how am I like marketing it?

1044
01:05:28.280 --> 01:05:32.860
Like, am I letting people know what it's actually like and that it actually, you

1045
01:05:32.860 --> 01:05:37.160
know, can answer their questions or is this not resonating with people or in

1046
01:05:37.160 --> 01:05:42.080
other words, trying to get it to work so that people, and so that people understand

1047
01:05:42.080 --> 01:05:43.960
that I'm offering what it is that they're looking for.

1048
01:05:43.960 --> 01:05:48.240
And, you know, all of these things, instead of like, Hey, just be me and

1049
01:05:48.240 --> 01:05:52.840
just let God do his work and attract to attract who it is that he wants to attract.

1050
01:05:52.840 --> 01:05:58.720
I kept falling into this thing of like, Oh, am I not, if God wasn't attracting

1051
01:05:58.720 --> 01:06:00.920
them, I'm like, Oh, is it not resonating with people?

1052
01:06:01.080 --> 01:06:02.520
How do I need to word it differently?

1053
01:06:02.520 --> 01:06:04.840
So that it actually, people actually hear.

1054
01:06:05.760 --> 01:06:10.400
Uh, my, the answers to their questions, you know, so that they realize I really

1055
01:06:10.400 --> 01:06:13.240
can't answer the questions that they're having or the struggles that they're

1056
01:06:13.240 --> 01:06:14.680
going through or, you know, whatever.

1057
01:06:15.440 --> 01:06:20.520
And, and we call it, you know, is it working or is it not working?

1058
01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:26.160
Um, and, uh, so anyway, I was struggling with the same thing, but as soon as, as

1059
01:06:26.160 --> 01:06:31.400
Ed took that on, um, I was, I immediately felt the pressure release and then I

1060
01:06:31.400 --> 01:06:35.360
could open myself up again and then I could start feel, feeling who it is that

1061
01:06:35.360 --> 01:06:38.320
I was and just let God operate from that place.

1062
01:06:38.320 --> 01:06:41.240
So just like you, you were feeling that that's when you started

1063
01:06:41.240 --> 01:06:42.280
to get all those breakthroughs.

1064
01:06:42.560 --> 01:06:43.320
Here's my point.

1065
01:06:43.560 --> 01:06:46.480
My husband did the same thing for me in the physical that Arnold was

1066
01:06:46.520 --> 01:06:48.480
saying that you, he could do for you.

1067
01:06:48.760 --> 01:06:54.640
And even, and I felt that what you felt all of a sudden that pressure release.

1068
01:06:54.760 --> 01:06:59.440
The point is that we can choose that even without our husband's

1069
01:06:59.520 --> 01:07:00.920
going through that process.

1070
01:07:01.400 --> 01:07:06.600
Our husband's going through that process is something that we more easily, uh,

1071
01:07:06.600 --> 01:07:12.760
can connect with and recognize and grab ahold of to finally be able to let go

1072
01:07:12.760 --> 01:07:17.080
because they're, they're now, instead of our security being in what, in what

1073
01:07:17.080 --> 01:07:20.880
we're bringing in, we still have the security of what they're bringing in.

1074
01:07:21.760 --> 01:07:25.600
Um, so it's still like a, in a worldly sense that our security is

1075
01:07:25.600 --> 01:07:27.040
still coming from the same thing.

1076
01:07:27.200 --> 01:07:32.720
The point is it's easier for sometimes for when that happens in the natural

1077
01:07:33.040 --> 01:07:38.040
for us to start opening and, and letting go over here and being able to be healed

1078
01:07:38.320 --> 01:07:43.120
by the Lord and shift into rest and all of that, but God offers us the opportunity

1079
01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:46.320
to all, to do that, even if our husbands don't do this.

1080
01:07:47.080 --> 01:07:51.880
Um, so it just, the fact that when he does that, when, like when Arnold said

1081
01:07:51.880 --> 01:07:55.000
that he would, would do that and he was willing to do that, you immediately

1082
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:56.200
felt the pressure release.

1083
01:07:56.560 --> 01:08:01.280
You have that available to you literally at any moment where God's like, let

1084
01:08:01.280 --> 01:08:07.280
me be the husband that is going to take care of you, you know, and you can let go.

1085
01:08:07.880 --> 01:08:09.120
And here's the thing.

1086
01:08:09.160 --> 01:08:12.760
When you let go, we think that we're holding it all together.

1087
01:08:12.760 --> 01:08:14.000
We think that we're holding it up.

1088
01:08:14.000 --> 01:08:15.440
We're keeping the business working.

1089
01:08:15.440 --> 01:08:16.560
We're keeping it all together.

1090
01:08:16.560 --> 01:08:18.439
But God's like, no, how did that start?

1091
01:08:18.800 --> 01:08:22.520
It started because you free flowed out of your spirit.

1092
01:08:23.000 --> 01:08:26.359
So he just wants you to return back to that free flow of your spirit so

1093
01:08:26.359 --> 01:08:28.240
that he can sustain the business.

1094
01:08:28.520 --> 01:08:33.359
So anything that you create, um, out of your flesh, you have to sustain.

1095
01:08:33.359 --> 01:08:37.279
But anything that, that you create out of your spirit, God sustains

1096
01:08:37.800 --> 01:08:39.319
effortlessly, you know, without you.

1097
01:08:39.319 --> 01:08:43.520
So anyway, just to let, give us the encouragement to know we can have that

1098
01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:47.160
sense of release where we can feel open enough to dream again.

1099
01:08:47.160 --> 01:08:52.240
And to be ourselves, we can get that security from looking to God as our

1100
01:08:52.240 --> 01:08:56.680
husband, to be the one, to provide that supply and be that provision.

1101
01:08:56.880 --> 01:08:58.439
It's hard to make that transition.

1102
01:08:58.439 --> 01:09:02.399
So I understand that I'm saying all of this very quickly, but I'm just making,

1103
01:09:02.399 --> 01:09:06.720
making the point that that is, at least we know just cause we've seen it in the

1104
01:09:06.720 --> 01:09:09.920
physical, we know that that's possible in the spiritual with the physical husband.

1105
01:09:09.920 --> 01:09:12.720
We know it's possible in the spirit with the spiritual husband as well.

1106
01:09:13.120 --> 01:09:17.680
So that is great that you now have that where Arnold said that he can do that.

1107
01:09:18.000 --> 01:09:19.680
So you can ask the Lord.

1108
01:09:19.680 --> 01:09:25.080
Okay, Lord, can you help me let go a bit more and just start dreaming again,

1109
01:09:25.080 --> 01:09:32.319
instead of feeling like I have to take on the control of controlling the outcome.

1110
01:09:32.359 --> 01:09:33.760
I've got to keep all of this up.

1111
01:09:33.760 --> 01:09:39.319
I have this structure that's been created and I have to maintain it, you know, but

1112
01:09:39.319 --> 01:09:42.399
instead let it go, stop trying to maintain it.

1113
01:09:42.880 --> 01:09:45.960
And just in dream again and start thinking, okay.

1114
01:09:46.040 --> 01:09:48.399
And start acting on what feels good.

1115
01:09:48.640 --> 01:09:49.960
What feels right.

1116
01:09:50.479 --> 01:09:51.680
What do I want?

1117
01:09:51.760 --> 01:09:52.880
You know, that kind of a thing.

1118
01:09:53.359 --> 01:09:53.680
Anyway.

1119
01:09:53.680 --> 01:09:54.560
So I've talked a lot.

1120
01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:55.280
What are your thoughts?

1121
01:09:58.120 --> 01:09:59.920
Yeah, no, I know what you're.

1122
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.480
saying. Um, and I feel like, I almost feel like I would have

1123
01:10:05.520 --> 01:10:11.280
maybe walked in that more in the past than I am right now. Like

1124
01:10:11.280 --> 01:10:15.680
just understanding. I know at one time I was very intentional

1125
01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:20.480
with just like, believing that the Lord is my provision. It's

1126
01:10:20.480 --> 01:10:23.920
not my bank account. It's not fund. It's not how much I work.

1127
01:10:23.920 --> 01:10:28.880
It's not how far I am like it is the Lord. And I don't know

1128
01:10:28.880 --> 01:10:31.840
somewhere along the way, I started freaking out again, and

1129
01:10:31.840 --> 01:10:34.880
I'm not sure when that happened. And

1130
01:10:35.480 --> 01:10:39.840
well, partly it's be similar to the idea that people that are

1131
01:10:39.840 --> 01:10:43.720
poor have a tendency to be more generous than people that have

1132
01:10:43.720 --> 01:10:46.240
money. And so when they're when they're poor, then they don't

1133
01:10:46.240 --> 01:10:48.960
have anything, they have to rely on the Lord all the time. So

1134
01:10:48.960 --> 01:10:51.960
they're very freely, you know, generous with their time and

1135
01:10:51.960 --> 01:10:54.960
their food and their money and whatever, just doing whatever it

1136
01:10:54.960 --> 01:10:57.920
is that they can for other people. But when they start

1137
01:10:57.920 --> 01:11:02.240
getting money, then all of a sudden their security they over

1138
01:11:02.240 --> 01:11:04.920
time, they don't mean to but their security begin, they begin

1139
01:11:04.920 --> 01:11:07.720
to transition their security and their dependence and their

1140
01:11:08.000 --> 01:11:13.120
reliance on on their money because they have it. And you'll

1141
01:11:13.120 --> 01:11:16.760
find that a lot of people are less generous, the more money

1142
01:11:16.760 --> 01:11:20.360
that they make. Now, there are we know a lot of people who are

1143
01:11:20.360 --> 01:11:22.680
very wealthy and very generous. So I'm not saying that this is

1144
01:11:22.680 --> 01:11:25.320
this blanket rule I'm just talking about in generalities.

1145
01:11:25.560 --> 01:11:29.280
And it's so that makes sense that earlier, you know, it was a

1146
01:11:29.280 --> 01:11:32.160
lot easier for you to do it because you had to in so many

1147
01:11:32.160 --> 01:11:35.600
areas. And then when you start having something that you can

1148
01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:40.600
expect, then we unintentionally start transferring our

1149
01:11:40.600 --> 01:11:44.880
dependence on an expectation. Because, well, this is how life

1150
01:11:44.880 --> 01:11:48.120
works. Now, life works like this. So I can always expect it.

1151
01:11:48.120 --> 01:11:50.640
And then all of a sudden, you start trying to think about,

1152
01:11:50.640 --> 01:11:54.000
well, what would happen if it wasn't there? You know, we start

1153
01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:56.560
losing it. So no, all of that makes complete sense. It's all

1154
01:11:56.560 --> 01:11:57.400
very normal.

1155
01:11:59.240 --> 01:12:04.280
I think I think one thing even just like, if I just think about

1156
01:12:04.280 --> 01:12:07.120
something that I would desire to do right now, as far as like

1157
01:12:07.120 --> 01:12:12.120
money goes is, I feel like I would, I feel like up till now,

1158
01:12:12.120 --> 01:12:14.920
Arnold and I have just been kind of like winging it and just kind

1159
01:12:14.920 --> 01:12:20.120
of going with whatever happens in life. And I think we haven't

1160
01:12:20.120 --> 01:12:26.480
really communicated about like, what do we want? You know what I

1161
01:12:26.480 --> 01:12:29.240
mean? Or even like, I feel like whenever I'm processing

1162
01:12:29.240 --> 01:12:33.640
finances, it's usually like, I'll share something with

1163
01:12:33.640 --> 01:12:36.520
Arnold, and he'll be like, Oh, yeah, that's great. You know,

1164
01:12:36.520 --> 01:12:39.200
he's, he's happy to hear anything that's going on in my

1165
01:12:39.200 --> 01:12:42.720
head about like finances or like freedom I'm finding. And I feel

1166
01:12:42.720 --> 01:12:49.520
like I am desiring, like a partnership. It often just feels

1167
01:12:49.520 --> 01:12:53.000
like my business and an Arnold life, or you know what I mean?

1168
01:12:53.000 --> 01:12:56.720
Like, it doesn't, it feels like my business and Arnold don't

1169
01:12:56.760 --> 01:13:00.600
connect. And in a way they do, because Arnold's been so

1170
01:13:00.600 --> 01:13:05.480
supportive and whatever. But in another way, I feel like it's

1171
01:13:05.480 --> 01:13:10.960
still something that I do mainly on my own. And I don't know if

1172
01:13:10.960 --> 01:13:14.800
it's coming out right, but more like, I would like for Arnold

1173
01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:18.600
and I to be able to sit down and be like, this is what we're

1174
01:13:18.600 --> 01:13:23.720
wanting for our life and working towards together. Yes.

1175
01:13:23.760 --> 01:13:28.560
But at the same time to where I also, I feel like we're

1176
01:13:28.560 --> 01:13:31.600
partnering together also in like the fact that if our bank

1177
01:13:31.600 --> 01:13:37.840
account looks a little crazy, or like, I don't know, that we

1178
01:13:37.840 --> 01:13:44.000
would both be I don't know how you I feel like my brain cells

1179
01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:50.440
died with the last cleanse thing that I did. In other words,

1180
01:13:50.440 --> 01:13:55.280
like shared responsibility, like, I think it's more I think

1181
01:13:55.280 --> 01:13:58.120
it's more a shared vision. Actually, I think you're frozen

1182
01:13:58.120 --> 01:14:03.520
for some reason your video is shared vision like to where

1183
01:14:04.840 --> 01:14:09.280
other you are again, shared vision to where we're like, you

1184
01:14:09.280 --> 01:14:12.920
know what, we're working Yeah, I guess shared vision and shared

1185
01:14:12.920 --> 01:14:19.200
responsibility to where we're working together, and very

1186
01:14:19.200 --> 01:14:24.800
together in decisions and even just like, I want him to be able

1187
01:14:24.800 --> 01:14:30.520
to own it as much as me when it comes to, we're going to build

1188
01:14:30.560 --> 01:14:36.800
our life and our family on our faith and our values. And he is

1189
01:14:36.920 --> 01:14:40.760
he does. I know he wants that. But I feel like we haven't

1190
01:14:40.760 --> 01:14:44.960
really declared that together fully. I always feel like I'm

1191
01:14:44.960 --> 01:14:46.200
the one spearheading that.

1192
01:14:46.600 --> 01:14:49.480
Yeah, I understand. Yeah. In fact, you talked about this

1193
01:14:49.480 --> 01:14:51.240
before. It's been on your heart for a while.

1194
01:14:52.920 --> 01:14:57.840
So yeah, I don't know. Whenever I think of

1195
01:14:59.480 --> 01:15:00.000
trying

1196
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.680
I just feel like right now it looks impossible

1197
01:15:02.680 --> 01:15:05.680
to feel like inspired in my business again.

1198
01:15:05.680 --> 01:15:09.360
And another thing that kind of weighs over my head

1199
01:15:09.360 --> 01:15:11.120
is like, there's this spa trip, you know,

1200
01:15:11.120 --> 01:15:12.500
that we work towards every year.

1201
01:15:12.500 --> 01:15:15.960
And I feel like I've always like used that as a way

1202
01:15:15.960 --> 01:15:18.840
to tell myself that I'm still doing well

1203
01:15:18.840 --> 01:15:21.760
is when I'm like earning that spa trip, you know.

1204
01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:25.640
And this year I have no desire to earn the spa trip.

1205
01:15:25.640 --> 01:15:27.640
I don't want to earn it.

1206
01:15:27.640 --> 01:15:29.240
I don't want to try to earn it.

1207
01:15:29.320 --> 01:15:32.720
And I am like, wow, is this the year that I fail?

1208
01:15:32.720 --> 01:15:35.520
You know, and I don't know what to do with that.

1209
01:15:35.520 --> 01:15:40.320
Like, I know that I'm somebody that needs inspiration

1210
01:15:40.320 --> 01:15:41.440
and I need a purpose.

1211
01:15:41.440 --> 01:15:43.440
And like, I feel like I just can't live

1212
01:15:43.440 --> 01:15:45.480
if I don't have a purpose or like something

1213
01:15:45.480 --> 01:15:48.760
that I feel like is growing, you know, in my life.

1214
01:15:50.520 --> 01:15:54.400
I'm just so terrified of, yeah, I don't know.

1215
01:15:54.400 --> 01:15:56.280
I don't know if any of this makes sense.

1216
01:15:56.320 --> 01:15:57.160
Yeah.

1217
01:15:57.160 --> 01:15:58.480
No, it does.

1218
01:15:58.480 --> 01:16:00.840
And when I'm giving you all these examples

1219
01:16:00.840 --> 01:16:04.040
from my own life, I'm trying to let you know

1220
01:16:04.040 --> 01:16:06.720
that I understand where it is that you are

1221
01:16:06.720 --> 01:16:10.000
and how that feels and to give you encouragement

1222
01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:11.240
that I've walked that path.

1223
01:16:11.240 --> 01:16:12.760
And this is what it looks like for me

1224
01:16:12.760 --> 01:16:15.040
to give you hope on the other side.

1225
01:16:15.040 --> 01:16:19.600
So I have, I went through the same thing, you know,

1226
01:16:19.600 --> 01:16:21.440
I was telling you all of that process that I went through.

1227
01:16:21.440 --> 01:16:23.160
Well, part of the healing process, you know,

1228
01:16:23.160 --> 01:16:25.680
I got a job, I went through this healing process.

1229
01:16:25.680 --> 01:16:30.480
Part of it was exploring in my flesh though.

1230
01:16:30.480 --> 01:16:32.280
I tried so hard to do it in my spirit,

1231
01:16:32.280 --> 01:16:35.120
but now that I look back, I'm like, no, that was my flesh.

1232
01:16:35.120 --> 01:16:39.720
I was again, trying to spark motivation in myself

1233
01:16:39.720 --> 01:16:41.720
so that something would work.

1234
01:16:41.720 --> 01:16:44.360
It's like, okay, well, what is it really that I wanna do?

1235
01:16:44.360 --> 01:16:46.120
Do I wanna do another rest intensive?

1236
01:16:46.120 --> 01:16:48.520
Do I wanna do, you know, that's all I've ever done

1237
01:16:48.520 --> 01:16:51.400
or do I wanna do, and then finally I came up with the idea

1238
01:16:51.400 --> 01:16:52.720
because Ed's talked to me about it.

1239
01:16:52.720 --> 01:16:54.360
Well, why don't do something different?

1240
01:16:54.360 --> 01:16:55.400
Well, if I do something different,

1241
01:16:56.120 --> 01:16:56.960
what would that look like?

1242
01:16:56.960 --> 01:16:59.160
You know, and I really went through a very major process

1243
01:16:59.160 --> 01:17:01.080
for several months.

1244
01:17:01.080 --> 01:17:03.000
Now I'm not saying that it's gonna take you that long.

1245
01:17:03.000 --> 01:17:04.200
I'm just letting you know,

1246
01:17:04.200 --> 01:17:06.200
I know what it's like to be where you are

1247
01:17:06.200 --> 01:17:09.400
and to wrestle with it over a period of time.

1248
01:17:09.400 --> 01:17:11.240
Cause that's where we get weary.

1249
01:17:11.240 --> 01:17:12.800
That's where we start feeling hopeless.

1250
01:17:12.800 --> 01:17:15.960
It's like, oh my word, this Dagen thing keeps going.

1251
01:17:15.960 --> 01:17:16.800
It doesn't stop.

1252
01:17:16.800 --> 01:17:18.000
Will I ever get to the end?

1253
01:17:18.000 --> 01:17:19.400
Is there ever hope?

1254
01:17:19.400 --> 01:17:22.680
And so anyway, I did that for a long time.

1255
01:17:22.680 --> 01:17:25.040
And then finally I just felt from the Lord.

1256
01:17:25.680 --> 01:17:26.520
I was like, oh my word,

1257
01:17:26.520 --> 01:17:27.560
I'm supposed to talk about breakthrough.

1258
01:17:27.560 --> 01:17:28.720
Okay, I've never done that before.

1259
01:17:28.720 --> 01:17:30.280
Well, that means that I've got,

1260
01:17:30.280 --> 01:17:31.520
that even though I've talked about

1261
01:17:31.520 --> 01:17:32.640
bits of breakthrough before,

1262
01:17:32.640 --> 01:17:34.320
I need to take the bits that I've talked about

1263
01:17:34.320 --> 01:17:36.720
and I need to flush it out into a whole program

1264
01:17:36.720 --> 01:17:39.560
in order to help people, you know, dah, dah, dah, dah.

1265
01:17:39.560 --> 01:17:43.520
And so I really finally felt the Lord on that.

1266
01:17:43.520 --> 01:17:46.320
And it took me a few, several months to get to the point

1267
01:17:46.320 --> 01:17:49.440
where I know where I got that from the Lord.

1268
01:17:49.440 --> 01:17:52.800
Where I got down into what's really in me

1269
01:17:52.800 --> 01:17:55.240
and co-counseling with the Lord

1270
01:17:55.240 --> 01:17:58.160
and hearing what he wanted, what his ideas were.

1271
01:17:58.160 --> 01:18:02.360
And his ideas was something that was already in me.

1272
01:18:02.360 --> 01:18:04.000
It wasn't like this thing out here,

1273
01:18:04.000 --> 01:18:05.880
like, hey, Ashley, I want you to try something

1274
01:18:05.880 --> 01:18:06.720
that's really hard

1275
01:18:06.720 --> 01:18:09.680
and that you're just not motivated by and blah, blah, blah.

1276
01:18:09.680 --> 01:18:11.600
It was something that he told me about.

1277
01:18:11.600 --> 01:18:14.760
And I'm like, oh my word, I already have that within me.

1278
01:18:14.760 --> 01:18:15.720
In fact, I've done,

1279
01:18:15.720 --> 01:18:18.200
I've walked through breakthrough with the Lord

1280
01:18:18.200 --> 01:18:21.120
much longer than I've walked through knowing about rest.

1281
01:18:21.120 --> 01:18:22.560
So I'm like, okay, well,

1282
01:18:22.560 --> 01:18:23.800
I've just never taught about it before.

1283
01:18:23.800 --> 01:18:25.040
Like, okay, here we go.

1284
01:18:25.040 --> 01:18:28.520
So, but notice what happened.

1285
01:18:28.520 --> 01:18:30.280
The, you know, as talking about outcomes.

1286
01:18:30.280 --> 01:18:32.520
So I'm thinking, oh my word, this is from the Lord.

1287
01:18:32.520 --> 01:18:34.560
This is just so great, you know?

1288
01:18:34.560 --> 01:18:36.200
And then I put it out there and just,

1289
01:18:36.200 --> 01:18:39.760
I get lots of people who like what it is that I do,

1290
01:18:39.760 --> 01:18:43.400
but they don't, they don't take a step.

1291
01:18:43.400 --> 01:18:45.720
They don't actually join the program.

1292
01:18:45.720 --> 01:18:48.240
You know, they just like the, would like my posts

1293
01:18:48.240 --> 01:18:49.960
and oh, actually it's so great.

1294
01:18:49.960 --> 01:18:51.480
And they share it.

1295
01:18:51.480 --> 01:18:54.360
So it's resonating with people that they're not,

1296
01:18:54.360 --> 01:18:57.880
they're not feeling like some sense of connection with it.

1297
01:18:57.880 --> 01:19:01.080
And so what ended up, what ended up happening,

1298
01:19:01.080 --> 01:19:03.120
what ended up happening was, you know,

1299
01:19:03.120 --> 01:19:06.040
both of y'all thought it resonated with y'all

1300
01:19:06.040 --> 01:19:06.880
and y'all spirit.

1301
01:19:06.880 --> 01:19:09.680
And then y'all, God drew y'all.

1302
01:19:09.680 --> 01:19:12.640
And so the thing is that what,

1303
01:19:12.640 --> 01:19:14.280
that this is the process that I've been through.

1304
01:19:14.280 --> 01:19:17.320
Because when I, when I had two people, I thought,

1305
01:19:17.360 --> 01:19:19.560
well, Lord, I began to question all kinds of things.

1306
01:19:19.560 --> 01:19:21.120
Did I hear from the Lord?

1307
01:19:21.120 --> 01:19:23.120
Is this actually not what the Lord wanted?

1308
01:19:23.120 --> 01:19:25.320
Because it looks like people don't want this.

1309
01:19:25.320 --> 01:19:26.560
I mean, two people wanted it,

1310
01:19:26.560 --> 01:19:28.360
but all these other people didn't want it.

1311
01:19:28.360 --> 01:19:30.200
So does that mean that what it is that I have,

1312
01:19:30.200 --> 01:19:33.080
that I'm offering is actually not sanctioned by the Lord,

1313
01:19:33.080 --> 01:19:35.000
that he doesn't want it, you know, whatever.

1314
01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:37.560
And then finally I realized, and Ed told me the same thing.

1315
01:19:37.560 --> 01:19:40.560
He's like, Ashley, God is doing something in you.

1316
01:19:40.560 --> 01:19:45.560
He's wanting to basically, Ashley, gift you himself.

1317
01:19:45.920 --> 01:19:46.760
He wants to,

1318
01:19:46.760 --> 01:19:49.600
and so you're going to go through this process, Ashley,

1319
01:19:49.600 --> 01:19:51.720
you know, with, and with him,

1320
01:19:51.720 --> 01:19:53.960
and that's really what you're doing.

1321
01:19:53.960 --> 01:19:57.760
You were just, and, and, you know, through this program,

1322
01:19:57.760 --> 01:19:59.760
you're, you and the Lord are,

1323
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.600
or learning, you are healing and you were learning things, um, about you and the Lord

1324
01:20:05.600 --> 01:20:07.880
and the stuff is going to come out and whatever.

1325
01:20:07.880 --> 01:20:13.560
So one of the things, so what it's done is during this time of marketing the program

1326
01:20:13.560 --> 01:20:17.480
and starting the program and going through the program with y'all, I've been on my own

1327
01:20:17.480 --> 01:20:22.280
journey with the Lord, where the Lord has began to just reconnect me with my real true

1328
01:20:22.280 --> 01:20:30.520
self and my spirit so that I can get a bigger and a greater and a broader sense of who it

1329
01:20:30.520 --> 01:20:35.600
is that I am now with him so that I can now live from that place and I can now build a

1330
01:20:35.600 --> 01:20:40.120
ministry or a business out of who it is that I am now, not the me that started it three

1331
01:20:40.120 --> 01:20:43.560
years ago or four years ago, however long it's been, you know, it's almost three and

1332
01:20:43.560 --> 01:20:46.700
a half, something like that, you know, cause I'm different now.

1333
01:20:46.700 --> 01:20:50.840
So my point is that this transition period, you know, that you go through in your business

1334
01:20:50.840 --> 01:20:53.400
where it's like, something doesn't feel quite right anymore.

1335
01:20:53.400 --> 01:20:58.800
Now yours on the other hand has been, you know, it looks successful, but you're internally

1336
01:20:58.800 --> 01:20:59.800
struggling with it.

1337
01:20:59.800 --> 01:21:04.080
You're just like, oh my word, it's this beast that I just can't get away from me.

1338
01:21:04.080 --> 01:21:06.800
I just pull the plug whenever it gets too much for me.

1339
01:21:06.800 --> 01:21:11.520
And I like will escape and hide and people will be like, actually, we don't hear from

1340
01:21:11.520 --> 01:21:12.520
you.

1341
01:21:12.520 --> 01:21:13.520
We haven't heard from you for the past few months.

1342
01:21:13.520 --> 01:21:14.520
I'm like, yeah, that's because I pulled away.

1343
01:21:14.520 --> 01:21:18.240
So yours is a bit different in the fact that you can't do that.

1344
01:21:18.240 --> 01:21:20.300
But the thing is, I know what that feels like.

1345
01:21:20.300 --> 01:21:25.040
And I just have to pull the plug and just walk away when everything gets to be too much.

1346
01:21:25.040 --> 01:21:29.640
So it's almost like whenever I jump back in, it's like, I'm almost like starting over again.

1347
01:21:29.640 --> 01:21:35.480
So my point is God takes us on these journeys that feel very challenging and pressurized

1348
01:21:35.480 --> 01:21:39.480
where we're going through this transition, like, like a woman does in labor where we're

1349
01:21:39.480 --> 01:21:42.200
going, nothing feels right.

1350
01:21:42.200 --> 01:21:45.520
Things don't feel, you know, you know, like you, Priscilla, you know, my business just

1351
01:21:45.520 --> 01:21:46.960
doesn't feel right anymore.

1352
01:21:46.960 --> 01:21:47.960
It doesn't feel like me.

1353
01:21:48.680 --> 01:21:49.680
It feels hard.

1354
01:21:49.680 --> 01:21:50.680
It feels like work.

1355
01:21:50.680 --> 01:21:54.160
What used to motivate me doesn't motivate me anymore, et cetera, where you're different.

1356
01:21:54.160 --> 01:21:55.160
You've changed.

1357
01:21:55.160 --> 01:21:56.160
You've matured.

1358
01:21:56.160 --> 01:21:57.160
You've grown.

1359
01:21:57.160 --> 01:22:01.840
You now have more to offer than you did back then when you started, but you have to connect

1360
01:22:01.840 --> 01:22:07.320
with the different that you are now and offer that.

1361
01:22:07.320 --> 01:22:09.280
And how do you do that?

1362
01:22:09.280 --> 01:22:14.880
If it's so different that the structure that's currently there that you're trying to maintain

1363
01:22:14.880 --> 01:22:19.280
has to be maintained with the old you, not with the new you and what's going to happen

1364
01:22:19.280 --> 01:22:24.200
when you insert the new you, you know part of it is you have to find the new you.

1365
01:22:24.200 --> 01:22:28.240
And then part of it is just that risk of like, well, what's going to happen to the existing

1366
01:22:28.240 --> 01:22:32.520
structure when I add the new, when I add the new, when, you know, when I add the new me

1367
01:22:32.520 --> 01:22:43.640
but though it's all, it's scary, but just, just think of this as begin to make this transition

1368
01:22:43.640 --> 01:22:44.640
with the Lord.

1369
01:22:44.640 --> 01:22:51.960
And this is hard, but begin to make this transition with the Lord from, from choosing the outcome,

1370
01:22:51.960 --> 01:22:59.640
meaning like that provision from the business and choose instead God that he be who he says

1371
01:22:59.640 --> 01:23:04.680
that he is, that he be that into your life, that your life literally is created and designed

1372
01:23:04.680 --> 01:23:08.400
by his character manifesting itself in your life.

1373
01:23:08.400 --> 01:23:14.720
And that it's designed by the manifestation of you being who it is that you are.

1374
01:23:14.720 --> 01:23:17.160
And then just seeing what happens.

1375
01:23:17.160 --> 01:23:20.680
And it feels bad and it feels scary because it's like, well, I don't know who I am and

1376
01:23:20.680 --> 01:23:24.880
therefore I don't know what's going to happen when I insert the real me into the world.

1377
01:23:24.880 --> 01:23:28.000
What's going to happen when I insert the real me into the business, you know, is everything

1378
01:23:28.000 --> 01:23:29.000
going to fall apart?

1379
01:23:29.000 --> 01:23:30.160
Is it going to destroy it?

1380
01:23:30.160 --> 01:23:31.920
Is it going to whatever?

1381
01:23:31.920 --> 01:23:36.320
And so you kind of, so basically it's like what I was telling, you know, Annette, we

1382
01:23:36.320 --> 01:23:39.640
have to risk the outcome.

1383
01:23:39.640 --> 01:23:41.360
We have to risk what's going to happen.

1384
01:23:41.360 --> 01:23:46.080
There's no way to maintain both, to choose a different way with the Lord and maintain

1385
01:23:46.080 --> 01:23:50.200
the old, you have to completely abandon the old.

1386
01:23:50.200 --> 01:23:59.200
You know, and choose the new but I, anyway, I have such expectation and for you and Arnold

1387
01:23:59.200 --> 01:24:04.880
and you know, all of the amazing things that are going to happen of what your lives, lives

1388
01:24:04.880 --> 01:24:11.200
are going to grow into and become that you're at a crossroads as to what you're going to

1389
01:24:11.200 --> 01:24:19.800
choose your life to be driven by, is it going to be driven by you maintaining what currently

1390
01:24:19.800 --> 01:24:27.760
exists or by, you know, the effortlessness of living by faith on who God is and who you

1391
01:24:27.760 --> 01:24:31.560
are and bringing those two things into your life.

1392
01:24:31.560 --> 01:24:35.840
I feel like what I just said just sounded very esoterical though.

1393
01:24:35.840 --> 01:24:41.680
And I always try to help people help people understand how it lands and how to apply it

1394
01:24:41.680 --> 01:24:42.680
in their life.

1395
01:24:42.680 --> 01:24:46.720
But let me know, what are your thoughts?

1396
01:24:46.720 --> 01:24:58.640
Yeah, I think, I think it's something that I need to, I know, I know that in the past

1397
01:24:58.640 --> 01:24:59.520
I have

1398
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:09.000
Whenever I have like taken a step back from my business with being intentional about that like in other words saying like, hey, Lord, like I don't have any inspiration.

1399
01:25:09.000 --> 01:25:19.000
And I'm really scared to like, just chill for a month, but at the same time, in doing that I want to.

1400
01:25:19.000 --> 01:25:21.000
They all need help in it.

1401
01:25:21.000 --> 01:25:23.000
No.

1402
01:25:23.000 --> 01:25:39.000
In doing that I'm also like intentionally asking you to grow my business without my doing all the things that I think that I need to do in order to grow it and I have seen him in the past like that's what he does, you know, I think.

1403
01:25:39.000 --> 01:25:42.000
I think it's a great prayer to ask.

1404
01:25:42.000 --> 01:25:54.000
He did that for a friend of mine who didn't even ask him for it. She was afraid of what would happen when she left her, when she went on sabbatical from her business for a while from our ministry from a while.

1405
01:25:54.000 --> 01:26:01.000
And if I remember the statistics correctly God doubled it didn't do anything.

1406
01:26:01.000 --> 01:26:14.000
I didn't put out anything new and God doubled everything she's like, that doesn't even make sense there's no new content, there's to like bring in new followers it's like it took off.

1407
01:26:15.000 --> 01:26:34.000
God proved to me that I don't need to that I don't sustain it. And so, you can do that I've asked the Lord that also for like for instance when if we're so afraid that if we don't like like when I had to teach myself to stop telling the Lord I'm sorry all of the time.

1408
01:26:34.000 --> 01:27:01.000
I told the Lord I said okay God I'm going to try to live, believing that you accept me no matter what so I'm going to stop apologizing all of the time. And I am asking that you are no no it wasn't that it was, I'm going to stop trying so hard to like always do the right thing with everyone and I'm going to try instead to live out of my spirit and in the meantime, Lord, I am asking that since I will no longer be controlling

1409
01:27:01.000 --> 01:27:15.000
the outcome of in other words how people are interacted with and the effect that it had that I have on people. I am asking you that you protect them and uphold this structure, because I'm going to abandon it.

1410
01:27:15.000 --> 01:27:28.000
I'm no longer going to control it so I'm asking that you protect it. So I've done stuff like that before and he does it. I think it's a great prayer because again God just wants to be believed he wants to be given control of things.

1411
01:27:28.000 --> 01:27:41.000
So you actually intentionally saying hey God I'm going to do this and the reason I'm doing it is because I'm doing it in faith and it's hard. So I'm letting control go of control of this and I'm intentionally asking you to grab it, because I'm letting go.

1412
01:27:41.000 --> 01:27:48.000
And so I'm trusting you to hold on to it and to protect it and I'm intentionally asking you to think that's great.

1413
01:27:48.000 --> 01:27:59.000
Yeah. Yeah, and I, I have done that in the past and I know it's always like 100% behind me and very encouraging in that way I think, I think, another.

1414
01:27:59.000 --> 01:28:14.000
I think the biggest thing that keeps me from that right now is like and I mean, I shouldn't even worry about this because I feel like I've been in my for the last two months for my team anyway but I think my fear of their perception of me is what keeps me from doing that

1415
01:28:15.000 --> 01:28:31.000
I think for me when I first started with lemongrass a big part of like what drove me was my perception of other people which is kind of unique, but like if I sensed at all that like my upline leaders were like kind of like me, they weren't into it anymore.

1416
01:28:31.000 --> 01:28:54.000
It really did. It really hindered my drive or like my energy, especially the one that I really looked up to and she had really encouraged me and really like spoken life into my business, and I think I'm afraid that if I am not consistent and if I'm not always growing

1417
01:28:54.000 --> 01:29:07.000
or if I'm not always putting content out for my team are always reaching out or always being there for them or like just being dependable basically at all times that their energy is going to go like that.

1418
01:29:07.000 --> 01:29:17.000
And that, then my paycheck will go like that and everything will go like that. Yes.

1419
01:29:18.000 --> 01:29:20.000
Yeah, I'm okay now.

1420
01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:21.000
Where's Lauren? Is she with you?

1421
01:29:21.000 --> 01:29:23.000
Gwen's bringing him here.

1422
01:29:23.000 --> 01:29:24.000
Okay.

1423
01:29:24.000 --> 01:29:25.000
I just moved here.

1424
01:29:25.000 --> 01:29:26.000
Okay, thanks.

1425
01:29:26.000 --> 01:29:32.000
Can we do something?

1426
01:29:32.000 --> 01:29:36.000
We didn't get to yesterday. I didn't get too much.

1427
01:29:36.000 --> 01:29:38.000
I don't care if you want to do games.

1428
01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:44.000
Okay, I want to watch Black Panther games.

1429
01:29:45.000 --> 01:29:50.000
Oh, I don't even remember what I was going to say now.

1430
01:29:50.000 --> 01:29:57.000
Because we feel that it's it's our effort and everything that we pour in that sustains everything.

1431
01:29:57.000 --> 01:30:00.000
Yeah, I know how to get it.

1432
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.940
Yeah, that's fine that we sustain other people's, uh, that what other people

1433
01:30:04.940 --> 01:30:08.480
need, they get that they don't have what they need unless they get it from us.

1434
01:30:08.480 --> 01:30:11.060
That the business doesn't have what it needs to keep more forward.

1435
01:30:11.060 --> 01:30:14.400
Unless it's us that everything takes our effort, our energy, which

1436
01:30:14.400 --> 01:30:15.940
really is all of our strife.

1437
01:30:16.340 --> 01:30:17.040
It's all of it.

1438
01:30:17.040 --> 01:30:21.440
That's all of that, that, that flesh, as opposed to, because.

1439
01:30:22.020 --> 01:30:25.800
Us pouring into people where it's life giving needs to come from our

1440
01:30:25.800 --> 01:30:27.620
spirit, which is always effortless, et cetera.

1441
01:30:27.620 --> 01:30:29.120
So it's just changing the source.

1442
01:30:29.120 --> 01:30:32.600
And when you change the source, you might be, be doing the same actions,

1443
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:37.440
but it will feel effortless because, but right now it's feeling this, this,

1444
01:30:37.580 --> 01:30:39.740
this concept and this belief that.

1445
01:30:40.280 --> 01:30:47.120
It that, um, it's everything is dependent on me and my exertion, you

1446
01:30:47.120 --> 01:30:52.560
know, Lee puts us in bondage and we have to just free ourselves from that and

1447
01:30:52.560 --> 01:30:57.040
choose, no, it's not God, this is completely you and therefore I don't

1448
01:30:57.040 --> 01:30:58.520
have to sustain any of this.

1449
01:30:58.520 --> 01:31:00.440
Therefore, I'm just going to be me.

1450
01:31:00.840 --> 01:31:02.080
I'm just going to show up as me.

1451
01:31:02.080 --> 01:31:05.240
I'm just going to do what it is that I want, what it is that I feel like, what

1452
01:31:05.240 --> 01:31:07.100
feels like, but feels effortless.

1453
01:31:07.100 --> 01:31:10.320
That feels like myself, what feels like, what feels natural or whatever.

1454
01:31:10.600 --> 01:31:14.280
And that'll have to be like conversations between you and the Lord of like, well,

1455
01:31:14.280 --> 01:31:15.760
what does that actually look like?

1456
01:31:16.120 --> 01:31:20.120
And I'm fully aware of the fact that you're that when you've gone through

1457
01:31:20.120 --> 01:31:25.320
burnout, there is a, an aspect in which you sometimes just need to

1458
01:31:25.320 --> 01:31:27.260
heal by pulling completely away.

1459
01:31:27.700 --> 01:31:30.060
And you'll have to ask the Lord about what that looks like.

1460
01:31:30.060 --> 01:31:33.340
So Lord, you know, is there something that I can do that?

1461
01:31:33.340 --> 01:31:38.860
I can switch the source from which I'm doing it and, and heal from my burnout

1462
01:31:38.860 --> 01:31:40.420
as long as I switched the source.

1463
01:31:41.060 --> 01:31:47.820
Um, or is there a way in which, um, uh, that, or Lord, can I not, and

1464
01:31:47.820 --> 01:31:49.060
I need to pull away completely.

1465
01:31:50.940 --> 01:31:55.380
Um, so, or in certain parts of it, or, you know, meaning like for a while,

1466
01:31:55.540 --> 01:32:00.780
um, uh, or whatever, so that that'll just kind of be between you and the Lord I had

1467
01:32:00.780 --> 01:32:05.900
to do, I pull, I've had to do different things at different times I've completely

1468
01:32:05.900 --> 01:32:12.640
pulled away and unplugged, like I've told you, but, um, uh, but then sometimes what

1469
01:32:12.640 --> 01:32:17.180
I was doing is in the background, I was also, even though I wasn't public about

1470
01:32:17.180 --> 01:32:22.020
it, I was still pursuing some things, um, on, on my own, I was doing the things

1471
01:32:22.020 --> 01:32:27.260
that felt more fun and it felt more, um, that, that felt exciting and more

1472
01:32:27.940 --> 01:32:30.660
that, um, I don't know, more life giving.

1473
01:32:31.260 --> 01:32:36.860
Um, so anyway, uh, I'm really sorry for, you know, how it is that you're, you

1474
01:32:36.860 --> 01:32:40.260
know, the situation that you are, you're currently in, and I definitely

1475
01:32:40.260 --> 01:32:43.100
understand the struggle, so I don't know specifically what it is that you need to

1476
01:32:43.100 --> 01:32:48.020
do, uh, just wanted to, but, um, and so anyway, we can talk more about it.

1477
01:32:48.020 --> 01:32:54.580
And then the next few sessions are all about our ourselves and, um, how to

1478
01:32:54.580 --> 01:32:58.940
discover, you know, how to fully accept ourselves, how to discern who it is and

1479
01:32:58.940 --> 01:33:03.020
how to meet ourselves and discern who it is that we are, and then how to live

1480
01:33:03.180 --> 01:33:06.900
proactively, um, from who it is that we are.

1481
01:33:07.260 --> 01:33:10.180
Um, so hopefully those types of things will help as well.

1482
01:33:10.580 --> 01:33:15.540
Um, and just to start like healing some things, but in the meantime, you might

1483
01:33:15.540 --> 01:33:19.540
want to see, is there anything that just sounds and feel is a way that you can

1484
01:33:19.540 --> 01:33:24.980
pour into people in, in your business that feels fun, that doesn't, you

1485
01:33:24.980 --> 01:33:26.540
don't feel any pressure on it.

1486
01:33:26.620 --> 01:33:30.540
You're doing an action, but it's fun and it's life giving, or literally does

1487
01:33:30.540 --> 01:33:33.580
anything feel like anything related to business?

1488
01:33:33.580 --> 01:33:36.860
It's like, even if you change the source, you're just like, no, I just,

1489
01:33:36.900 --> 01:33:38.220
I don't feel good about it all.

1490
01:33:38.420 --> 01:33:40.340
That means you're just like completely burned out.

1491
01:33:40.660 --> 01:33:41.060
Yeah.

1492
01:33:41.660 --> 01:33:43.900
Yeah, no, I feel like, um, I think.

1493
01:33:44.460 --> 01:33:48.580
The biggest part that I feel like I have pulled back from is my core team.

1494
01:33:48.580 --> 01:33:53.500
So like anybody that's signed up under me that hasn't branched out under another

1495
01:33:53.500 --> 01:33:57.100
leader or become a leader themselves, that's where I feel the most burned out.

1496
01:33:57.420 --> 01:33:59.540
Like my leaders, I enjoy them.

1497
01:33:59.580 --> 01:34:02.180
Like we can speak the same language.

1498
01:34:02.220 --> 01:34:05.620
We're very, they have a lot of the same values that I have.

1499
01:34:05.660 --> 01:34:08.180
And, um, we can just really connect.

1500
01:34:08.300 --> 01:34:11.820
Um, and plus I know that they're like adults and they understand

1501
01:34:11.820 --> 01:34:13.540
like how it is to be a leader.

1502
01:34:14.020 --> 01:34:19.340
Um, but then I feel like my core team is like, they're still very much.

1503
01:34:20.020 --> 01:34:25.260
I just need so much, like, I don't know what to get.

1504
01:34:25.260 --> 01:34:26.500
I don't know how to give it to them.

1505
01:34:26.580 --> 01:34:30.260
And so, I don't know, I was just thinking today and yesterday about

1506
01:34:30.260 --> 01:34:31.860
like, I think what would be fun.

1507
01:34:31.860 --> 01:34:36.140
And I know that what they would all enjoy is connection.

1508
01:34:36.180 --> 01:34:39.980
Like, that's one thing they've all always said is that they love connection.

1509
01:34:39.980 --> 01:34:41.260
They love connecting with other women.

1510
01:34:41.260 --> 01:34:44.620
And I was like, well, maybe I can just do a zoom call where it's more like a fun

1511
01:34:45.180 --> 01:34:48.900
get to know you and just see like where it goes from there.

1512
01:34:48.940 --> 01:34:52.860
Um, you know, just asking like weird questions about each other and, you

1513
01:34:52.860 --> 01:34:58.420
know, having, yeah, kind of a theme around that and even just around like, um, a

1514
01:34:58.420 --> 01:34:59.900
relationship with the Lord and stuff.

1515
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.320
I think that is something that they would love and that they would show up for.

1516
01:35:05.320 --> 01:35:06.320
So I don't know.

1517
01:35:06.320 --> 01:35:08.160
I could try that and see.

1518
01:35:08.160 --> 01:35:11.720
That's a great idea, especially because it sounds like those people joined because they

1519
01:35:11.720 --> 01:35:14.880
want to belonging, not because they started business.

1520
01:35:14.880 --> 01:35:18.640
They wanted to start a business because they thought maybe it was easy and all I have to

1521
01:35:18.640 --> 01:35:23.200
do is learn a formula and then it'll work for me instead of taking on ownership of no,

1522
01:35:23.200 --> 01:35:24.560
I need to do this.

1523
01:35:24.560 --> 01:35:29.000
It sounds like they were so deprived from community that they joined for belonging.

1524
01:35:29.480 --> 01:35:31.240
That is literally you nailed it.

1525
01:35:32.360 --> 01:35:32.600
Yeah.

1526
01:35:32.600 --> 01:35:36.760
So really great thing that you have the insight to just to distinguish.

1527
01:35:36.760 --> 01:35:37.880
No, these are my leaders.

1528
01:35:37.880 --> 01:35:40.280
And then we can talk about certain things and they're effortless.

1529
01:35:41.640 --> 01:35:45.400
You got to go sit with Monty and watch him play a game and then you can have a turn too.

1530
01:35:47.160 --> 01:35:52.760
And that these other people, however, they're frustrating because they want something that

1531
01:35:52.760 --> 01:35:54.360
you're not actually giving.

1532
01:35:54.360 --> 01:35:59.240
So when you, I mean, meaning like that, they had, you're thinking, well, you joined a business.

1533
01:35:59.240 --> 01:36:02.760
And so, but when I give you the business staff that I give them these leeches over here,

1534
01:36:02.760 --> 01:36:04.600
they eat it up and we all talk the same language.

1535
01:36:04.600 --> 01:36:07.560
But when I talk to you about it, you're not doing anything with it.

1536
01:36:07.560 --> 01:36:09.560
It's just like, it's just frustrating.

1537
01:36:09.560 --> 01:36:12.840
It's just like talking to a brick wall because they're wanting something different.

1538
01:36:12.840 --> 01:36:19.640
Well, the cool thing is that you're actually wanting to pour into people non-business related.

1539
01:36:20.600 --> 01:36:25.480
So you, God has given you a group of people that that's exactly what they want.

1540
01:36:25.480 --> 01:36:28.280
And then who knows from there, maybe the business would grow,

1541
01:36:28.280 --> 01:36:32.440
the business would grow because you're meeting a particular need that they're coming to you for,

1542
01:36:32.440 --> 01:36:33.640
which is, Hey, they want belonging.

1543
01:36:33.640 --> 01:36:34.440
They want community.

1544
01:36:34.440 --> 01:36:39.000
And thankfully for them, they have a leader who actually loves to be able to offer that.

1545
01:36:40.120 --> 01:36:42.920
And then maybe it won't feel like so much of a struggle in a trial.

1546
01:36:42.920 --> 01:36:48.120
And then maybe when they had that need field filled, remember again,

1547
01:36:48.120 --> 01:36:51.720
you're wanting what your business uniquely provides them at somebody else.

1548
01:36:51.720 --> 01:36:57.080
And there is somebody else's upline wouldn't provide for them is building up who it is

1549
01:36:57.080 --> 01:37:01.560
that they are and empowering the person to find the answers within themselves.

1550
01:37:01.560 --> 01:37:06.040
Meaning what is it that you and the Lord, who is it that you and the Lord uniquely are?

1551
01:37:06.040 --> 01:37:09.320
And I want to encourage you to step out in that.

1552
01:37:09.320 --> 01:37:12.440
You're going to have to take the courage, you know, courage on your own.

1553
01:37:13.400 --> 01:37:17.480
But excuse me, but I, I, you know, I believe in you.

1554
01:37:17.480 --> 01:37:21.720
I'm giving you the space as a leader to like make mistakes and not judge you for it.

1555
01:37:21.720 --> 01:37:27.000
And to just encourage you to keep trying again and to keep finding what feels good to you.

1556
01:37:27.960 --> 01:37:31.960
And, and to, and to teach you how to live like that,

1557
01:37:31.960 --> 01:37:35.400
because maybe you don't have anybody else in your life that is giving you that kind of space

1558
01:37:35.960 --> 01:37:43.800
to ask yourself at all, what you feel like, let alone encouraging you to act on what feels good.

1559
01:37:44.440 --> 01:37:46.600
You know, they're probably have all these other people in their life.

1560
01:37:46.600 --> 01:37:50.600
They were judging them by their behavior or by their, by their outcomes.

1561
01:37:50.600 --> 01:37:54.760
And so they, obviously they don't feel safe feeling themselves,

1562
01:37:54.760 --> 01:37:58.360
let alone expressing that feelings into a decision about like,

1563
01:37:58.360 --> 01:38:00.680
Oh, I want to do my business like this or whatever.

1564
01:38:00.760 --> 01:38:03.000
But when you pour into them as a person,

1565
01:38:03.960 --> 01:38:06.200
you know, that sense of belonging and that community,

1566
01:38:06.200 --> 01:38:11.640
and they start feeling like they matter and creating like an empowerment community

1567
01:38:11.640 --> 01:38:14.040
and not empowerment, like empower women or something like that,

1568
01:38:14.040 --> 01:38:16.600
but just like not that feminism stuff, but just like,

1569
01:38:17.640 --> 01:38:22.520
it is that they are as, as, as, as valuable to God.

1570
01:38:22.520 --> 01:38:23.080
As a unit.

1571
01:38:23.080 --> 01:38:25.160
And that, like that, that's, that feels.

1572
01:38:26.040 --> 01:38:30.120
That feels easy and it feels like, you know what I mean?

1573
01:38:31.000 --> 01:38:32.520
I think I just get stuck then.

1574
01:38:32.520 --> 01:38:34.520
And like, Oh my word, I'm manipulating them.

1575
01:38:34.520 --> 01:38:37.800
I'm trying to make them feel love so that they go and do all the things.

1576
01:38:37.800 --> 01:38:39.080
And then we build this business.

1577
01:38:39.080 --> 01:38:41.240
And I'm just like, I don't want to be a cult either.

1578
01:38:42.200 --> 01:38:42.920
A cult either.

1579
01:38:42.920 --> 01:38:44.440
No, no, no, no, no, no.

1580
01:38:44.440 --> 01:38:44.680
Yeah.

1581
01:38:44.680 --> 01:38:46.920
Cult is, that is very, very different.

1582
01:38:47.560 --> 01:38:48.440
So it's hilarious.

1583
01:38:48.440 --> 01:38:49.240
Isn't it?

1584
01:38:49.240 --> 01:38:49.480
Yeah.

1585
01:38:50.840 --> 01:38:53.080
To sign up when breakthrough to be in the community.

1586
01:38:55.720 --> 01:39:00.120
No, it's interesting though, because a lot of the women that have joined my team

1587
01:39:00.120 --> 01:39:08.040
are, they all have a similar part to them to where they're not legalistic,

1588
01:39:08.040 --> 01:39:10.920
but they're also in a legalistic culture.

1589
01:39:10.920 --> 01:39:12.440
So exactly.

1590
01:39:12.440 --> 01:39:12.680
Yeah.

1591
01:39:12.680 --> 01:39:16.520
They think they're very interesting, but really they're pretty strict.

1592
01:39:16.520 --> 01:39:17.480
Yes, they are.

1593
01:39:18.440 --> 01:39:20.680
Um, that's, I'm going to try that.

1594
01:39:20.680 --> 01:39:25.000
And I feel like, I feel like maybe I should actually write an email to my team and be like,

1595
01:39:25.000 --> 01:39:27.080
Hey, this is actually where I'm at.

1596
01:39:27.080 --> 01:39:31.080
Like, I don't feel a lot of energy in my life to like teach you a ton of business stuff right

1597
01:39:31.080 --> 01:39:37.960
now, but I do feel like I have the energy to invest in you as a person.

1598
01:39:37.960 --> 01:39:41.240
Um, and chances are that's what they actually need anyway.

1599
01:39:42.680 --> 01:39:44.440
Now, now you don't have to do this.

1600
01:39:44.440 --> 01:39:46.360
This is just something that kind of came to mind.

1601
01:39:46.360 --> 01:39:48.520
You do whatever it is that you feel that you need to do.

1602
01:39:49.320 --> 01:39:52.360
Like, in other words, what feels right, what feels appropriate, what feels good.

1603
01:39:52.360 --> 01:39:57.160
But what you can also do from knowing from, oh, go ahead.

1604
01:39:59.160 --> 01:39:59.640
From business.

1605
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.680
perspective is light or business perspective from, um, is to approach it maybe even like

1606
01:40:04.680 --> 01:40:05.680
this.

1607
01:40:05.680 --> 01:40:09.560
And it's just an idea, but just saying, Hey, look, you know, I've been thinking about what

1608
01:40:09.560 --> 01:40:13.600
it is that I can offer to you, what it is that I would like to give you.

1609
01:40:13.600 --> 01:40:18.040
And I would like to create, you know, sensitive community pouring into you, dah, dah, dah,

1610
01:40:18.040 --> 01:40:24.920
as opposed to saying what it is that you're not giving, because that can highlight a negative

1611
01:40:24.920 --> 01:40:28.840
and get them to focus on a negative and like, see, oh, there's something that I'm going

1612
01:40:28.840 --> 01:40:32.560
to lack as opposed to something that you're like, oh my word, by the way, I want to offer

1613
01:40:32.560 --> 01:40:33.560
you something.

1614
01:40:33.560 --> 01:40:38.560
In addition, when I offer you, or, you know, on your end, you're not going to be doing

1615
01:40:38.560 --> 01:40:42.840
this because X, Y, and Z now, um, no, you can do whatever you want.

1616
01:40:42.840 --> 01:40:46.960
I'm just suggesting that to you as a, as a, as like a perspective.

1617
01:40:46.960 --> 01:40:49.920
So no, I appreciate that.

1618
01:40:49.920 --> 01:40:53.520
You're only talking about like what it is that, Hey, look, this is what I would like,

1619
01:40:53.520 --> 01:40:54.640
because here's what it is.

1620
01:40:54.640 --> 01:40:57.080
You're now setting the tone for the new community.

1621
01:40:57.080 --> 01:40:58.760
This is what I would like to pour into you.

1622
01:40:59.680 --> 01:41:00.680
This is what I would like to provide for you.

1623
01:41:00.680 --> 01:41:01.680
This is what I like to offer.

1624
01:41:01.680 --> 01:41:04.840
And everybody's like, oh my word, I get more, you know, and then they jump in for the more

1625
01:41:04.840 --> 01:41:05.840
that they get.

1626
01:41:05.840 --> 01:41:09.120
And then that'll set the tone of the community of like, this is where I'm built up.

1627
01:41:09.120 --> 01:41:10.200
This is what feels good.

1628
01:41:10.200 --> 01:41:12.900
This is where I feel poured into, this is where I feel valued.

1629
01:41:12.900 --> 01:41:14.360
This is where I feel safe.

1630
01:41:14.360 --> 01:41:20.000
This is where I feel, um, in, uh, like given the opportunity to like safely look inside

1631
01:41:20.000 --> 01:41:26.320
myself and discover who am I and, and, you know, not be worried or scared that I'm going

1632
01:41:26.320 --> 01:41:31.080
to find something that I don't like, because even if I do, it doesn't make me bad, you

1633
01:41:31.080 --> 01:41:32.080
know?

1634
01:41:32.080 --> 01:41:37.360
And I'm, I'm always safe from, uh, Priscilla always creates an environment that in a space

1635
01:41:37.360 --> 01:41:42.160
that is safe for me to be me and for me to discover who that is and for something ugly

1636
01:41:42.160 --> 01:41:43.280
to pop up.

1637
01:41:43.280 --> 01:41:46.240
And I didn't know it was there, you know, but she teaches me.

1638
01:41:46.240 --> 01:41:51.200
If she's not afraid of me being me, I don't need to be afraid of what I'm going to find.

1639
01:41:51.200 --> 01:41:55.560
And then that allows all of the ugly stuff, you know, to come up for people to face it.

1640
01:41:55.560 --> 01:42:00.200
And then for people to choose to let it go, you know, or, you know, and, and I'm just

1641
01:42:00.200 --> 01:42:03.240
mentioning the ugly stuff, cause just like what we were talking about with Annette, it's

1642
01:42:03.240 --> 01:42:07.720
always important for us to look at the, uh, at doing things in light of the reality of

1643
01:42:07.720 --> 01:42:12.000
the potential threat, as opposed to, you know, oh, well, we're just going to ignore that

1644
01:42:12.000 --> 01:42:15.840
that could happen because that's what we're thinking is, oh, but what if, well, who cares?

1645
01:42:15.840 --> 01:42:17.160
What if we're still doing this?

1646
01:42:17.160 --> 01:42:23.960
We're doing this not despite, but in the face that this thing can, and it's going to happen,

1647
01:42:23.960 --> 01:42:24.960
you know?

1648
01:42:24.960 --> 01:42:28.280
So the likelihood of that happening much on the call, you know, isn't great, but the thing

1649
01:42:28.280 --> 01:42:32.360
is that if you provide a safe place for them, when they're home alone, and then some ugly

1650
01:42:32.360 --> 01:42:37.480
stuff comes up, they'll have the courage to not escape themselves, avoid themselves or

1651
01:42:37.480 --> 01:42:38.960
hide from themselves.

1652
01:42:38.960 --> 01:42:39.960
Yes.

1653
01:42:39.960 --> 01:42:48.080
They've had so much good poured into them that they choose to claim that in faith that

1654
01:42:48.080 --> 01:42:49.080
they really are okay.

1655
01:42:49.080 --> 01:42:52.960
And that they really are safe, despite this ugly thing that they just discovered about

1656
01:42:52.960 --> 01:42:54.480
themselves for this thing.

1657
01:42:54.480 --> 01:42:55.720
Normally they would are afraid of that.

1658
01:42:55.720 --> 01:43:00.240
They would, that would make them want to avoid themselves and they stop cycling themselves.

1659
01:43:00.240 --> 01:43:10.600
They start Monty it's Gwen's turn now for the iPad.

1660
01:43:10.600 --> 01:43:19.960
If when the iPad plays Monty that's right in it, and then I'll bring all the money back.

1661
01:43:19.960 --> 01:43:27.040
Well, and that's what I have discovered Monty is that I have had people reach out from my

1662
01:43:27.040 --> 01:43:33.840
team and even from down in way down in my organization of like the girl that just randomly

1663
01:43:33.840 --> 01:43:35.160
messaged me on Instagram.

1664
01:43:35.160 --> 01:43:38.200
She's like a couple layers down in my organization.

1665
01:43:38.200 --> 01:43:45.960
And she literally said, she's like, I'm reaching out to you because I feel like you're a shape.

1666
01:43:45.960 --> 01:43:46.960
Yeah.

1667
01:43:46.960 --> 01:43:47.960
What?

1668
01:43:47.960 --> 01:43:48.960
What?

1669
01:43:48.960 --> 01:43:49.960
Anyway, sorry.

1670
01:43:49.960 --> 01:43:50.960
That's fine.

1671
01:43:50.960 --> 01:43:51.960
No, no, no.

1672
01:43:51.960 --> 01:43:52.960
I mean, we've gone like way past time.

1673
01:43:52.960 --> 01:43:55.960
So I know your children need you and whatever.

1674
01:43:55.960 --> 01:44:14.040
So anyway, just wanted to, but I wanted to make sure, you know, that you, you had something

1675
01:44:14.040 --> 01:44:18.280
to be able to move forward with that, you know, you could feel encouraged by and excited

1676
01:44:18.280 --> 01:44:21.120
about, and this all sounds great.

1677
01:44:21.120 --> 01:44:28.520
So you talking about the concern though, of, of not wanting to use something to manipulate

1678
01:44:28.520 --> 01:44:29.920
an outcome.

1679
01:44:29.920 --> 01:44:34.000
The whole thing is the way to avoid that is simply release the outcome.

1680
01:44:34.000 --> 01:44:38.960
Don't work towards an outcome, forget about what's going to happen.

1681
01:44:38.960 --> 01:44:41.600
If you do this, don't think about, I want this to happen.

1682
01:44:41.600 --> 01:44:45.880
So therefore I'm going to do this, or wouldn't it even be great if this happened and just

1683
01:44:45.880 --> 01:44:47.440
forget the outcome.

1684
01:44:47.440 --> 01:44:49.560
Just live in the present.

1685
01:44:49.560 --> 01:44:53.680
Don't determine your present and what you do now, based off of what you hope is going

1686
01:44:53.680 --> 01:44:57.160
to happen in the future, what you want to happen in the future, what might happen in

1687
01:44:57.160 --> 01:44:58.160
the future.

1688
01:44:58.160 --> 01:45:00.000
Don't use that to determine what you do here.

1689
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:01.880
God talks over and over and over again.

1690
01:45:01.880 --> 01:45:03.000
Jesus talks about that.

1691
01:45:03.000 --> 01:45:05.200
He said, tomorrow has enough troubles in it.

1692
01:45:05.200 --> 01:45:06.360
Just focus on today.

1693
01:45:06.800 --> 01:45:08.360
Even Jesus said that.

1694
01:45:08.960 --> 01:45:11.480
So, cause he said, if he takes care of all of the animals, how

1695
01:45:11.480 --> 01:45:12.800
much more would he take care of you?

1696
01:45:12.840 --> 01:45:17.760
So even Jesus himself said, don't focus on tomorrow, just focus on today.

1697
01:45:18.040 --> 01:45:23.480
So you make all of you just live in the present and you just do, um, uh, and,

1698
01:45:23.480 --> 01:45:25.400
and so you don't focus on what.

1699
01:45:26.080 --> 01:45:33.400
On the effect of what you're doing on, uh, what effect that what you're

1700
01:45:33.400 --> 01:45:34.680
doing could have on the future.

1701
01:45:34.720 --> 01:45:37.360
That's that's, that's the grammatically correct sentence.

1702
01:45:38.440 --> 01:45:39.360
Not how you do that.

1703
01:45:39.800 --> 01:45:44.440
I think maybe the way that I need to look at it is the fact that the Lord is the

1704
01:45:44.440 --> 01:45:49.840
one who has him and I have grown the business together, but at the same time,

1705
01:45:49.960 --> 01:45:52.440
I feel like so much of my business has been a gift.

1706
01:45:53.000 --> 01:45:56.840
And I am with all these team members and all these people.

1707
01:45:56.920 --> 01:46:03.600
And I think what I need to focus on is just giving them me and me is not a

1708
01:46:03.600 --> 01:46:09.240
business formula and not a coaching, coaching them on how to like follow up

1709
01:46:09.240 --> 01:46:15.920
with people or like that, but me is like focusing on, um, Them as a person

1710
01:46:15.920 --> 01:46:21.360
and their relationship with other identity really does and leaving the rest

1711
01:46:22.160 --> 01:46:22.840
up to the Lord.

1712
01:46:22.880 --> 01:46:24.840
And if it flops, it flops.

1713
01:46:25.520 --> 01:46:28.680
And if it grows, it's because of Christ anyway.

1714
01:46:28.920 --> 01:46:30.080
So, yeah.

1715
01:46:30.600 --> 01:46:35.280
Yeah, because your, their business is not you, their business is them.

1716
01:46:35.680 --> 01:46:37.200
So you just build them up.

1717
01:46:37.880 --> 01:46:42.760
And you, you enrich, uh, you pour into them so that they, and they have to

1718
01:46:42.760 --> 01:46:45.920
choose to receive what you pour into them, but you just pour into them and

1719
01:46:45.920 --> 01:46:48.760
that's all you're responsible for, not how they respond to it, but it gives

1720
01:46:48.760 --> 01:46:53.400
them an opportunity to have something to respond to, and then they themselves

1721
01:46:53.400 --> 01:46:57.320
have to build themselves up and then choose to give that to their business.

1722
01:46:57.560 --> 01:47:01.000
You can coach them and encourage them and be there for it for them.

1723
01:47:01.240 --> 01:47:02.880
They are the ones who have to live it.

1724
01:47:02.880 --> 01:47:04.120
Just like me here with y'all.

1725
01:47:04.360 --> 01:47:08.640
I can just encourage y'all and give you, and just basically what is I'm teaching

1726
01:47:08.720 --> 01:47:12.200
and talking about, uh, for you to do Priscilla is what I do.

1727
01:47:12.920 --> 01:47:14.720
I can't fix y'all's problems.

1728
01:47:14.760 --> 01:47:19.040
I can't fix your struggles in, in, in your relationship with the Lord, like

1729
01:47:19.040 --> 01:47:23.080
how to have faith with him for him in this faith in him, in this area, how

1730
01:47:23.080 --> 01:47:24.760
to let go of outcomes and whatever.

1731
01:47:25.360 --> 01:47:30.600
All I can do is just interact with you based off of how I see you, how I

1732
01:47:30.600 --> 01:47:33.120
see you as who Christ made you to be.

1733
01:47:33.120 --> 01:47:34.280
And I'm like, oh, it's just so obvious.

1734
01:47:34.280 --> 01:47:34.840
You can do this.

1735
01:47:34.880 --> 01:47:35.880
I'm going to, it's just so obvious.

1736
01:47:35.880 --> 01:47:36.760
This is who you are.

1737
01:47:37.080 --> 01:47:41.720
And that's how I, that's how I, how I see both of you honestly and truly.

1738
01:47:41.720 --> 01:47:45.840
And so therefore, hopefully that comes across Phil and how I interact with you.

1739
01:47:46.160 --> 01:47:48.400
And then you have what it is that you need.

1740
01:47:48.400 --> 01:47:49.480
Cause you, I can't.

1741
01:47:50.000 --> 01:47:50.840
Give that to you.

1742
01:47:50.840 --> 01:47:53.760
You have to choose to receive that within yourself that, you know what?

1743
01:47:53.760 --> 01:47:55.120
I think that really is who I am.

1744
01:47:55.320 --> 01:47:58.360
You have to choose for yourself that that's who you are and then to act on it.

1745
01:47:58.640 --> 01:48:03.440
I can't do any of those things that typically people like being around me.

1746
01:48:03.440 --> 01:48:07.040
They told me this, um, uh, especially when they're around me in person, but,

1747
01:48:07.520 --> 01:48:10.880
um, they say that they like being around me because they feel that they have,

1748
01:48:10.880 --> 01:48:13.360
they feel rest when they're around me, they feel peace.

1749
01:48:13.600 --> 01:48:16.040
And this is sometimes people that don't know what it is that I teach.

1750
01:48:16.400 --> 01:48:19.760
They say, actually, when I'm around you, I feel, I feel peace or, you know,

1751
01:48:19.760 --> 01:48:22.400
they feel like they feel good about themselves.

1752
01:48:22.640 --> 01:48:23.600
They feel whatever.

1753
01:48:23.600 --> 01:48:26.440
And it's because I see them like that.

1754
01:48:26.480 --> 01:48:29.920
And so that's how they experience being in my presence

1755
01:48:29.960 --> 01:48:31.320
because that's how I see them.

1756
01:48:31.960 --> 01:48:34.280
And so then they start seeing that about themselves.

1757
01:48:34.280 --> 01:48:36.120
They experienced being that.

1758
01:48:36.880 --> 01:48:40.560
And feeling that, that they're that person, whenever they happen to be in my

1759
01:48:40.560 --> 01:48:43.600
presence, because that's the spiritual atmosphere that I create.

1760
01:48:43.760 --> 01:48:47.080
So that's how I know what to tell, you know,

1761
01:48:47.080 --> 01:48:50.000
what to recommend to you to do, because I had to learn to do that.

1762
01:48:50.040 --> 01:48:51.400
I learned to do that in business.

1763
01:48:51.680 --> 01:48:53.280
That's when I learned to do that.

1764
01:48:53.280 --> 01:48:58.120
The most is with people that, that, that mostly some of it was peers,

1765
01:48:58.120 --> 01:49:01.240
but the majority of it were people that reported to me that were underneath me.

1766
01:49:01.960 --> 01:49:05.680
Um, whether it was because I was consulting for them, um, you know,

1767
01:49:05.680 --> 01:49:09.080
to them or, um, they were projects that I was working on and they were,

1768
01:49:09.200 --> 01:49:13.320
they were people who actually reported to me as like a project manager that I

1769
01:49:13.320 --> 01:49:18.960
would just, I would, um, I would pour into them based off of how I saw them,

1770
01:49:19.240 --> 01:49:23.920
not something I was trying to get them to do or how I was trying to get them to

1771
01:49:23.920 --> 01:49:26.360
perform. I poured into who it is that they were.

1772
01:49:26.640 --> 01:49:29.520
And then I just watched to see how they responded to that,

1773
01:49:29.520 --> 01:49:30.640
how they chose to respond,

1774
01:49:30.680 --> 01:49:33.720
how they chose to perform based off of who it is that they now accepted that

1775
01:49:33.720 --> 01:49:36.920
they were huge difference, huge difference.

1776
01:49:37.880 --> 01:49:40.280
So, oh, and thank you, Annette. I appreciate it. So anyway,

1777
01:49:40.320 --> 01:49:44.000
that's what I'm talking about is, is doing what I'm doing, you know,

1778
01:49:44.720 --> 01:49:48.360
you know, here, whenever I interact. So, so anyway, but I will let y'all go,

1779
01:49:48.360 --> 01:49:50.880
but I did, you know, what's your response, Priscilla,

1780
01:49:50.880 --> 01:49:53.640
what are your thoughts up from where that makes a lot of sense.

1781
01:49:53.680 --> 01:49:56.800
And I feel like that's what my team wants for me actually.

1782
01:49:56.800 --> 01:50:00.080
And I've been afraid to give it because I feel like it's not business.

1783
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.680
You know, so, well, it's spirit and that's how you created your business.

1784
01:50:04.680 --> 01:50:07.320
And that's what you uniquely have to offer as opposed to somebody

1785
01:50:07.320 --> 01:50:08.680
else's upline they could have joined.

1786
01:50:09.120 --> 01:50:09.920
And so sure.

1787
01:50:10.280 --> 01:50:13.120
Other people, if they look at it from the outside, that doesn't make any sense.

1788
01:50:13.120 --> 01:50:14.240
They don't understand.

1789
01:50:14.400 --> 01:50:16.760
Well, how can that grow a business or whatever?

1790
01:50:17.120 --> 01:50:21.360
But, um, you know, you're, you're doing it according to the kingdom of God,

1791
01:50:21.360 --> 01:50:22.640
not according to the kingdom of the world.

1792
01:50:22.640 --> 01:50:24.880
And there's, like you said, there's no formula in that.

1793
01:50:25.720 --> 01:50:28.800
So, and so you don't have to worry about the fact that, you know, oh my goodness.

1794
01:50:29.720 --> 01:50:33.000
I don't feel equipped or qualified to teach people about business.

1795
01:50:33.320 --> 01:50:36.040
You grew your business by the kingdom, by principles of the

1796
01:50:36.040 --> 01:50:37.800
kingdom of God of growing a business.

1797
01:50:38.080 --> 01:50:41.160
So teach other people about how to grow a business from the kingdom of God's

1798
01:50:41.160 --> 01:50:43.120
principles, not the kingdom of this world's principles.

1799
01:50:43.120 --> 01:50:44.160
You don't know those.

1800
01:50:44.760 --> 01:50:46.280
I don't know very many of those.

1801
01:50:46.280 --> 01:50:49.320
I know some, but it's basically because God just showed me.

1802
01:50:49.680 --> 01:50:52.800
When I walked into the situation and then he revealed to me, this

1803
01:50:52.800 --> 01:50:55.320
is how you fix it, actually tell them to fix it like this.

1804
01:50:55.320 --> 01:50:56.040
I'm like, okay.

1805
01:50:56.600 --> 01:50:58.440
And that's how I learned that that's how things worked.

1806
01:50:58.440 --> 01:51:01.800
It was just so obvious to me because God showed it to me, but I didn't learn that.

1807
01:51:02.520 --> 01:51:05.840
I didn't know it until I was in the situation and saw it.

1808
01:51:06.360 --> 01:51:08.240
And I was like, oh, so apparently that's how it works.

1809
01:51:08.280 --> 01:51:08.560
Okay.

1810
01:51:08.560 --> 01:51:09.800
Well, I'll tell him how to fix it.

1811
01:51:10.080 --> 01:51:11.640
God had to show those things to me.

1812
01:51:11.640 --> 01:51:15.160
So anyway, just rely on him and in the way that you always

1813
01:51:15.160 --> 01:51:16.480
have and know that it's enough.

1814
01:51:17.160 --> 01:51:19.520
If it's enough for you, it's enough for other people.

1815
01:51:19.800 --> 01:51:23.320
It'll look different for them and how it executes, because they're a unique

1816
01:51:23.360 --> 01:51:25.000
son of God connected to the Lord.

1817
01:51:25.200 --> 01:51:28.240
Very different than you as a unique son of God, connecting with the Lord.

1818
01:51:28.520 --> 01:51:31.040
But the power of his spirit operates in the same way.

1819
01:51:32.560 --> 01:51:36.920
You know, y'all both bring life to the Lord, to the world, through your businesses.

1820
01:51:39.040 --> 01:51:39.840
Thank you for that.

1821
01:51:40.320 --> 01:51:41.200
You're welcome.

1822
01:51:42.160 --> 01:51:46.920
Good to see both of y'all and thank you so much.

1823
01:51:47.720 --> 01:51:48.520
You're welcome.

1824
01:51:48.960 --> 01:51:49.760
See y'all later.

1825
01:51:50.600 --> 01:51:51.480
Have a great day.

1826
01:51:51.520 --> 01:51:52.920
I'm gonna go to bed.

1827
01:51:55.920 --> 01:51:56.880
This was amazing.

1828
01:51:56.880 --> 01:51:58.120
Thank you so much.

1829
01:51:58.240 --> 01:51:59.240
You're welcome.

1830
01:51:59.520 --> 01:52:00.040
Bye.

1831
01:52:00.520 --> 01:52:01.240
Bye.