WEBVTT

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And welcome to the Prosper Leader member call.

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It's the end of the month call, so of course we get together the first Tuesday of the month,

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the kickoff of the month, and then we wrap it up on the third Thursday.

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This particular one, we pushed it out a week, everybody had some conflicts.

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So I am so excited to be here with you, and I'm going to start us with prayer, and then

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I'm going to be sharing some really important concepts for where we are in this season to

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grow your business, to look at, okay, how are we doing as we wrap up the year and we

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get ready to start a new year?

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What are some things we need to make sure that we have in place?

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And then of course, we're going to get together and talk about that on the mastermind.

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So let's start with prayer, and then we'll pick it up from there.

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So Father, I just give thanks for this day, I give thanks for every single woman listening

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either live or to the recording, and I speak blessings, blessings on their family, blessings

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on their body and health, blessings on their business and their finances, blessings on

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their ministry, their impact, the way that they are changing lives, blessings on their

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mindset and the peace, blessings on their family as we go into a season of holidays.

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I just pray that everything they put their hand to prospers and blesses a multitude of

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people.

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I pray the prayer of Jabez over them, that you will just increase their territory, that

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you'll expand their borders.

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I pray for increase, increase in financial abundance, increase in joy, increase in impact,

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increase in power, increase in clarity, just increase in the blessings that come from following

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you.

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And I ask all of this in Jesus name, amen.

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Okay, I'm going to be talking about the three types of people when it comes to outreach,

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when it comes to serving, in particular on social media, but this could also be live

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in networking or in any other situation.

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I'm going to talk about the three types of how I see coaches, consultants, healers going

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about building their business and how you can get maximum as you go into this new season.

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Okay, the first type, I'm going to call this the resistant type, or the one who has been

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hiding or the one who has been playing small or the one who has been getting ready to get

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ready.

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So that may be some of you, you may relate to what I have to say here.

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I'm going to give you some tools, some tips, some strategies as you break free from this

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reluctance and resistance.

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And probably the first start in that is take a look at what is leading to the resistance.

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What is the underlying fear that is holding you back?

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Is it perfectionism because none of us are going to have it perfect.

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There is just progress and there is constant and never ending improvement.

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Is it fear?

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Well, again, the best way to overcome fear is to face it head on.

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Is it this idea of lack that you're not enough, you don't know enough, you don't have enough,

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you're too old, you're too young, you're whatever, okay?

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I'm going to encourage you right where you are to begin to step forward and break through

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this pattern, okay?

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And so I'm going to talk about a couple aspects within this.

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And one of them that's coming out, there's two that are really coming out a lot as I

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talk to women, okay?

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Two patterns that I'm seeing that are really keeping people playing small, keeping them

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in resistance, keeping them from making money, getting clients, really succeeding.

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I'm seeing two really big culprits, okay?

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One is this idea that you're starting over, okay?

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Many of you are coming out of a corporate background, out of a job, out of a different

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business, you've transitioned.

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into the online business, into coaching, into consulting,

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into nutrition, into healing.

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So it's, you're reinventing yourself,

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which by the way, is normal.

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It's normal, okay?

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I've been out just a long time mentoring women

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for like three decades.

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And what I know is that typically,

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we reinvent ourselves about every three or four years.

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This is normal, okay?

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But here's the problem.

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There is a mindset that you're starting completely new,

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that you're building from scratch.

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And this is where the idea,

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oh, I got to get more certifications.

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I don't know enough.

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I've got to get this.

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I'm missing, I'm falling behind.

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I don't have.

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And it's because you are looking at this

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like you're writing a brand new book, to use a metaphor.

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To use that metaphor,

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I'm going to tell you something that's very freeing.

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You're not writing a new book.

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You are writing a chapter, a new chapter in your book.

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All the chapters that preceded this chapter count.

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They haven't been wasted.

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They are very important.

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Now I'm going to be teaching in the series

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that I'm going to be doing in December to elevate.

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I'm going to be doing an exercise to help you with stacking.

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Right now, I'm just going to give you a concept.

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I don't have time to do the exercise.

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Very powerful exercise.

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Right now, I'm just going to give you the concept.

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The concept is that everything that you've done so far

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counts for where you are right now.

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So some of you that have been in corporate

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that I've been talking to,

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you've gotten enormous training.

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You've gotten enormous leadership.

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Some of you, you've gotten enormous education.

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That doesn't go away when you become a coach

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or a consultant or a healer.

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You're building on that.

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Some of you come out of the business world.

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You're building on that, right?

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And so when you can change that and you can stack,

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you can go, wow, I got this education

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or I've been in business this long and I was trained in this

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or I taught people how to do this or I helped them do this.

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You build on that, you build on that.

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And now you're going to come from a place of confidence

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and not feeling like you're behind, okay?

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So tip number one, if you've been in resistance,

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stack, build on your successes, your previous.

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You're not writing a new book,

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you're writing a new chapter.

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Build on the previous chapters, okay?

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The second one that I really want to talk about

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that is super important.

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The second one I want to talk about

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is something that it's almost like a virus.

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It's almost like a contagion

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that many people have picked up.

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It's something that you say

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that I want to do as your coach tonight, today,

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whenever you're listening to this,

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I want to do a reframe that I think will set you free

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and empower you, okay?

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Here's the comment, here's the mindset that many people,

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and maybe it's you.

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You've been in resistance, you've been playing small,

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you haven't jumped full in.

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And the reason, the excuse that you use is,

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I just hate social media.

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I don't know if that's any of you.

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I just hate social media.

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I just hate showing up on social media.

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I don't like doing it.

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I'm going to do a little reframe.

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And I'm going to do that reframe

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by giving you a little background

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of how things were before social media.

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Now, many of you know,

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I was the founder

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of a large international network marketing company,

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nutritional network marketing company.

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We're going back 25, 30 years more.

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And I'm going to tell you

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how it used to be to build a business.

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This is even before the internet.

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We had to be on the phone.

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Any of you remember that?

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We had to be dialing for dollars.

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We had to be on the phone

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and then we had to be making appointments

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or we had to be inviting.

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We were making appointments.

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We had to get dressed.

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We had to get in the car.

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We had to drive somewhere.

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We'd have the meeting.

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Then we'd have to drive somewhere else.

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One hour meeting could take up to three,

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four hours with traffic.

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Any of you remember?

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Or I needed to get people to a hotel room.

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I had to rent a hotel room.

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I had to invite like crazy,

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follow up to try to fill a room.

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And when you're first getting started,

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I mean, if you got 50 people,

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if you got 200 people,

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if you got 500 people,

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you were in heaven.

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A thousand people.

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It was amazing.

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How hard did you have to work?

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or to get 1,000 people into a hotel room.

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And now, in social media, you have the privilege,

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the platform.

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Look at social media as a platform.

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You have the privilege of getting in front

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of millions of people.

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And you never have to leave your house.

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And you can connect with people all over the world.

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You don't have to get on a plane.

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You don't have to change time zones.

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I have clients, especially since Zoom, since Pandemic.

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I mean, I got clients in the UK and Australia,

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like all over the world, in Europe.

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Yeah.

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So I want to do a little reframe.

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What's that worth compared to how it used to be?

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So why is it that you don't like it?

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Why is it that you hate it?

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I'm going to tell you why.

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Because what you've been taught often,

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or what you've seen modeled very often,

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is inauthentic to you, to me.

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I mean, they're telling you to dance on TikTok.

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They're telling you to go grab people.

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And there's slimy techniques.

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And there's this and that.

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And you don't feel good inside your skin.

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That's what you really hate.

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I'm going to encourage you to have a reframe,

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that God is opening the door to the world.

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And you have full access to that world.

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And that on the other side of this platform,

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on the other side of the screen, on the other side

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of this social media, are real human beings

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with beating hearts, with bleeding hearts, with wounds,

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are real people with real struggles,

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are real people that are lonely, that are anxious,

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that are depressed, that have gone through loss,

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that have gone through tragedy, that have gone through abuse,

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that have gone through, maybe they've

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gone through success and wonderful things.

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But what I want you to remember is that there's real people.

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And when you get that, and you remember how hard it would be,

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people will tell me, well, I've got a small group.

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It's only got 80 people.

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I got a small group.

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It's only got 500 people.

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I've got a page.

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A page has got 5,000 people.

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What would you have to do in the real world to fill a hotel?

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What would you have to spend?

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What kind of staff would you need?

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What kind of effort would you need to fill a ballroom

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with 500 people?

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And if they came to your ballroom,

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how would you treat them?

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How would you honor them?

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How in awe and grateful would you

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be that they came to your space?

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I pray that mind switch will shift you out

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of this resistance.

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And I'm going to give one more tip of how to view this.

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And I don't have time to do a lot of training,

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but I'm going to give you one more tip.

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I'd like you to consider the metaphor of a picnic.

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This has always been one of my favorites.

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OK, so you've got the grass.

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You've got the picnic table.

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You've got the checkered tablecloth.

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And people are gathered for the picnic.

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And you've been invited to the picnic.

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You don't know people.

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They're new.

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You're coming to the picnic.

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You're coming to meet these people.

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Two scenarios.

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Number one, you came with a stack of brochures and cards.

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You arrived at the picnic, and you're like, hey, I'm Joe.

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This is my business.

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I have an event coming up.

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Hey, I'm so glad to meet you.

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Here's my business card.

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Reach out.

257
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Hey, I want you to buy this.

258
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I've got the most amazing product.

259
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How popular are you going to be at the picnic?

260
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You are going to be a sleazeball.

261
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You will not be invited again.

262
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And yet, that's what we do on social media.

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We just, hey, I got this event.

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Come, come, come, come, come, come.

265
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Without building the relationship,

266
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the keyword relationship.

267
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In the picnic, what would you do?

268
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You'd probably bring a pie or a dish

269
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to share, some cheese and crackers.

270
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You'd probably bring a bottle of water or wine or sparkling

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cider or something.

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And you'd bring it to the table.

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And you'd get to know people.

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And you'd ask questions.

275
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And you'd build relationships.

276
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And maybe you'd exchange some phone numbers with the people

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that you connected with.

278
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Are you feeling that?

279
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That is how we're supposed to be doing social media.

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So I pray that gives you a little mind switch,

281
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a little reframe about, I hate social media.

282
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Second group of people is what I call whiplash.

283
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You know, a car, boom, boom, whiplash.

284
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The car brakes, go on.

285
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Whiplash, right?

286
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Why do I call it whiplash?

287
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Come in with a fury because you got a launch,

288
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you got an event, you're ready to prospect,

289
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you started, you started your coaching program.

290
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Boom, you come in and you're posting, posting,

291
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bye, bye, bye, you're posting, posting, showing up.

292
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They didn't show up.

293
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You didn't build relationship.

294
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You get discouraged.

295
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You go disappear.

296
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You get up your courage a month later,

297
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three months later, six months later.

298
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I'm gonna do this.

299
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You come in with a bang and boom and bam and bam

300
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and you're making live videos and you're giving this away

301
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and you got this lead gen and you got blah, blah, blah

302
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and you're coming in and crickets.

303
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And maybe some of you relate,

304
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maybe some of you have been whiplash building.

305
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We're gonna talk about how to solve both the reluctance

306
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and the whiplash with consistency.

307
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Number three, you come in with clarity, consistency,

308
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you build a relationship, you show up,

309
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you know who you are.

310
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Whiplash means you keep changing who you are.

311
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Hey, today I'm a healer.

312
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Hey, tomorrow I'm a mindset coach.

313
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Oh, no kidding.

314
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I'm actually a relationship coach.

315
00:16:10.560 --> 00:16:11.720
No, no kidding.

316
00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.440
Actually, I specialize in horses.

317
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No, really, I'm a dog whisperer.

318
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Like people are so confused.

319
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You're talking about nutrition

320
00:16:21.960 --> 00:16:24.080
and then you're talking about this.

321
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And so you go in and you know who you are

322
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and you know who you serve, who you are, who you serve.

323
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You know what you offer.

324
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You know the problem that you solve, okay?

325
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And you come in and you're consistent.

326
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And now, now you focus on how can I add value?

327
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How can I add value?

328
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And now with consistency, you have a plan and you show up.

329
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You're continuously inviting people to come

330
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into your ecosystem

331
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because you want to have new eyeballs all the time,

332
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but you're doing that out of relationship

333
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:11.640
because you found common interests.

334
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You talked, you listened, you invited them to come in.

335
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Then what do you do?

336
00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:19.000
You bring the pie and the wine.

337
00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:21.839
You bring the cheese and crackers and the sparkling cider,

338
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whatever it is for you.

339
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:24.319
What is that?

340
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That's what you're giving.

341
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That pie, you don't give strings.

342
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That wine, you don't give strings.

343
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You go, I'm gonna give you all some wine,

344
00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:33.480
but you gotta take my business card.

345
00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:34.800
I gotta leave with a phone number

346
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before you can have a piece of this pie.

347
00:17:36.920 --> 00:17:38.360
No, no, no, no, no.

348
00:17:38.360 --> 00:17:39.840
You see how silly that is?

349
00:17:39.840 --> 00:17:42.320
And yet that's how we try to build relationships.

350
00:17:42.320 --> 00:17:44.240
We don't do that in the real world.

351
00:17:44.240 --> 00:17:45.240
We think somehow

352
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because there's a computer screen between us,

353
00:17:47.720 --> 00:17:51.200
we can treat people that way in the computer and it's okay.

354
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:52.800
No, no.

355
00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:54.440
I want you to remember that picnic

356
00:17:54.440 --> 00:17:57.040
and treat everybody as if you're meeting them at a picnic

357
00:17:57.040 --> 00:18:01.120
or a birthday party or whatever, a dance hall, whatever.

358
00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:02.400
So what is that wine?

359
00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:03.920
What is that cheese and crackers?

360
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:04.960
What is that?

361
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:06.640
That's value.

362
00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:09.320
Those are you giving your best,

363
00:18:09.320 --> 00:18:11.360
you're giving how-to posts,

364
00:18:11.360 --> 00:18:14.680
you're giving things that they can really use,

365
00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:17.680
your templates, your tools, your how-tos,

366
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.160
all of those things, okay?

367
00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:21.880
Without asking anything in return.

368
00:18:21.880 --> 00:18:23.440
Now, some of you have gone overboard

369
00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:24.280
and that's all you do.

370
00:18:24.280 --> 00:18:25.480
Now you're out of balance.

371
00:18:25.480 --> 00:18:27.080
You just, every time you meet, you go,

372
00:18:27.080 --> 00:18:29.080
I brought you another pie, I brought you another pie,

373
00:18:29.080 --> 00:18:30.040
I brought you another pie.

374
00:18:30.040 --> 00:18:31.880
No, that's not gonna work either.

375
00:18:31.880 --> 00:18:35.400
So the mix with that next, okay,

376
00:18:35.400 --> 00:18:37.600
which is the relationship building

377
00:18:37.600 --> 00:18:40.200
is that you're sharing inspiration,

378
00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:42.600
you're sharing parts of yourself.

379
00:18:42.600 --> 00:18:45.640
So if you were really doing this picnic thing,

380
00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:48.240
you'd find something in common, right?

381
00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:51.280
So I'm meeting with Antoinette

382
00:18:51.280 --> 00:18:55.080
and I'm like, wow, you're a horsey woman too.

383
00:18:55.080 --> 00:18:57.440
In fact, that's exactly how we connected online.

384
00:18:57.440 --> 00:19:00.320
Antoinette will tell you, wow, me too.

385
00:19:00.320 --> 00:19:02.560
Did you ride Western or did you ride English?

386
00:19:02.560 --> 00:19:03.400
I rode English.

387
00:19:03.400 --> 00:19:04.240
Did you show?

388
00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.360
Yeah, I did too.

389
00:19:05.360 --> 00:19:08.240
Hunter's hack, equitation, you know?

390
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:12.080
And so like we're building relationship.

391
00:19:12.080 --> 00:19:13.480
Hey, did you learn this?

392
00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:14.840
I didn't know that.

393
00:19:14.840 --> 00:19:18.160
Like Antoinette, I found out a horse's heart is so strong

394
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:20.520
that you can really connect

395
00:19:20.560 --> 00:19:24.080
and they help equalize your coherence, right?

396
00:19:24.080 --> 00:19:26.040
So you're learning from each other,

397
00:19:26.040 --> 00:19:27.800
you're adding value and it's like, wow,

398
00:19:27.800 --> 00:19:30.560
I wanna stay in touch with you, right?

399
00:19:31.520 --> 00:19:32.720
And this is true of everyone.

400
00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:35.360
Stephanie, I meet Stephanie and wow,

401
00:19:35.360 --> 00:19:37.440
you've got all these little ones in your homeschooling.

402
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:39.600
Wow, I homeschooled all the way.

403
00:19:39.600 --> 00:19:41.120
And how are you liking it?

404
00:19:41.120 --> 00:19:44.400
Yeah, and so you're building relationships.

405
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.360
So how do you do that online?

406
00:19:46.360 --> 00:19:49.280
This is where you're sharing parts of yourself

407
00:19:49.280 --> 00:19:51.880
so people can know you the person

408
00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:54.760
and you're sharing mistakes, you're sharing lessons,

409
00:19:54.760 --> 00:19:56.960
you're sharing valuable things,

410
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:59.960
just getting to know each other like you would at a picnic.

411
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.360
Okay, so you got the how to that's building the rapport you've got about you that's building

412
00:20:06.360 --> 00:20:15.120
relationships now give give give ask now you've earned the right to say hey I've loved our

413
00:20:15.120 --> 00:20:20.840
connection I've got this that I'm doing next week I think you would really benefit can

414
00:20:20.840 --> 00:20:26.960
I send you the link and there's no problem there's relationship it's not slimy you're

415
00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:33.760
not starting with just the link so I hope as you look at these three types I hope you're

416
00:20:33.760 --> 00:20:40.800
going to be number three and I pray that this is adding value as how you view connecting

417
00:20:40.800 --> 00:20:49.080
and building relationships online okay we are going to talk about this in the mastermind

418
00:20:49.080 --> 00:20:53.000
together so I'm going to stop the recording